# Movie Quotes Fun!



## Mark (Apr 9, 2005)

Well, it's about time for another round of "Movie Quotes Fun!"  Why?  Because one just came to mind...

Name a shrub after me - something prickley and hard to eradicate. - Capt. Jack Aubrey (from Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World)

How about it?


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (Apr 10, 2005)

All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, I would turn the winds around, I would roll in the fog, I would bring in storms, I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses couldn't work, so your plane couldn't take off. - Harris Telemacher (Steve Martin) from the film L.A. Story.


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## Gomez (Apr 10, 2005)

_ "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murders, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglars, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!" _ *Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Corman), Blazing Saddles. *


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## Staffan (Apr 10, 2005)

This is not technically a movie quote, but since I saw it just the other day:
"This is ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw, or be destroyed."
"Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ships."
"Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else."
 - Delenn and captain Drake, Babylon 5 episode 3.10, _Severed Dreams_


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## KenM (Apr 10, 2005)

"May the Force be with you." I forgot who said it and the movie for some reason.


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## Templetroll (Apr 10, 2005)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brigid O'Shaughnessy: "I haven't lived a good life. I've been bad, worse than you could know. "
Sam Spade: "You know, that's good, because if you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere. "

_Maltese Falcon _


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## Ankh-Morpork Guard (Apr 10, 2005)

Gomez said:
			
		

> _ "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murders, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglars, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!" _ *Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Corman), Blazing Saddles. *



 And of course, that brings to mind...

"A black sherrif?!" -mob

"Hey, it worked in Blazing Saddles!" - Ahchoo (Dave Chappelle) , Robin Hood: Men in Tights.


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## mojo1701 (Apr 10, 2005)

"There's more to life than a little money, ya know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are. And it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it."
 - Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand), after arresting Gaear Grimsrud.


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## Angel Tarragon (Apr 10, 2005)

Not from a movie, but a TV show (Lois & Clark: The New Advetures of Superman).

"This better be good, I'm in a bad mood!"
- Bruce Campbell


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## Angel Tarragon (Apr 10, 2005)

"Mummies. Why does it always have have to be mummies?"
- Brendan Fraser, The Mummy Returns

"Honey, what are you doin'? These guys don't use doors!"
- Brendan Fraser, The Mummy Returns


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## Angel Tarragon (Apr 10, 2005)

"Is some higher force at work, here? Are we asking too much of life?"
- Fred Ward as Earl Basset in Tremors (1990)


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## Dimwhit (Apr 10, 2005)

My Sig -- A Fish Called Wanda, John Cleese


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## Angel Tarragon (Apr 10, 2005)

"Warning! A**holes are closer than they appear!"
 - Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)


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## Rel (Apr 10, 2005)

Since I referenced it in another thread just recently:

"Do you think God will forgive us for what we've done?"

- Creasy (as played by Denzel Washington) in Man on Fire

The answer to this question, as given by Christopher Walken's character:

"No."


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## Mark (Apr 10, 2005)

Hmmm...  Some of these quotes are very much lost on me, taken out of context, as I am not familiar with the source material.  I'm having a number of "You had to be there" moments.  Let's try this.  Let's have quotes that stand on their own, that inform us to some degree about the character or the situation in which the character has found themself, that don't require additional lines of dialog to support them (though they can certainly be a part of a larger conversation).

For instance, the quote with which I began the thread stuck me as one that gives us some insight into the character, both in how he must be and that much more for it tells us that he knows how others view him and he doesn't so much disagree.  It's also humorous, though not a laugh-out-loud moment so much as a reflectively smiling witicism.

Of course, I don't expect all to be in exactly the same vein but I am interested in lines that aren't merely tag lines for movies or catch phrases.  I'm just looking for the kind of things that if you said them out of context they'd still have a resonance of quality.  Does  that make sense?


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## Dark Jezter (Apr 10, 2005)

All start off with a few memorable quotes from Conan the Barbarian, which is one of my favorite movies.

*Hyrkanian Warlord:* "Conan, what is best in life?"
*Conan:* "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!"

_*Conan watches as Thulsa Doom's riders quickly approach the ambush he's set up for them.*_
*Conan:* "Crom, I have never prayed to you before.  I have no tongue for it.  No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought and why we died.  All that matters is that today two stood against many, that's whats important.  Valor pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request: grant me _revenge_!  And if you do not listen, then to hell with you!"

And here's one from Independence Day, which wasn't a great movie, but was a fun enough Saturday Afternoon popcorn flick, and had one of my favorite movie speeches of all time:

*President Whitmore:* "Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. 'Mankind', That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!' We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"


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## hero4hire (Apr 10, 2005)

"We were all feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed, it being a night of no small expenditure."

Alex-A Clockwork Orange


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## Angel Tarragon (Apr 10, 2005)

"You don' need sleep. Hell, sleep's something shoved down our throats when we're kids by the people that think they run the world, parents, teachers, you know, the type that likes to keep us locked up tight in our place."
 - Kurt Russell as Jack Burton in Big Trouble in Little China (1986)


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## Goblyn (Apr 10, 2005)

"We're not just doing this for money ... we're doing this for _a lot_ of money."
                                                               -Lone Star, Spaceballs

"Skip to the end. How do I kill it?"
                                               -Hellboy


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## Allanon (Apr 10, 2005)

"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced." - Mulder, The X-Files: Fight the Future


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## Flyspeck23 (Apr 10, 2005)

"Gentlemen, Chicolini here may look like an idiot, and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really _is_ an idiot." - Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx), _Duck Soup_.

"Matt Damon!" - Matt Damon, _Team America_.

_The Princess Bride_:
Humperdinck: "Surrender!" 
Westley: "You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept." 

_The Godfather_:
Don Corleone: "I like to drink wine more than I used to."
Michael Corleone: "It's good for ya, Pop."
Don Corleone: "Anyway I'm drinkin' more."




			
				KenM said:
			
		

> "May the Force be with you." I forgot who said it and the movie for some reason.




General Dodonna, _Star Wars: A New Hope_.


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## Filby (Apr 10, 2005)

"I really did have a test today. That wasn't bull****. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so why should I care if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't have a car. Not that I condone fascism. Or any ism for that matter. People should not believe in isms. I quote John Lennon: 'I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.' A good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus, I'd still have to bum rides off of people."


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## Andre (Apr 10, 2005)

From the movie _Patton_:
“You know something General? Sometimes they can’t tell when you’re acting and when you’re not. [Colonel Codman]

“It isn’t important for them to know. It’s only important for me to know.” [General George Patton]

And for all you Brits out there...

From the movie _A Bridge Too Far_
"We haven't the proper facilities to take you all prisoner. Sorry. We'd like to, but we can't accept your surrender...Was there anything else?" [Captain Eric Mackay of the British 1st Airborne division in response to a German demand for their surrender]


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## Dagger75 (Apr 10, 2005)

"Doh!"

  Homer Simpson


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## fett527 (Apr 10, 2005)

"Fear is nothing more than a feeling. You feel hot, you feel hungry, you feel angry, you feel afraid. Fear can never kill you." 
Chiun- _Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins_


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## fett527 (Apr 10, 2005)

I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request...Means "no." 

Barbossa- _The Pirtes of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl_


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## Tonguez (Apr 10, 2005)

*The Terminator*: I know now why you cry. But it's something I can never do. 

*********

*The Terminator*: My CPU is a neural net processor; a learning computer. But Skynet pre-sets the switch to read-only when we're sent out alone. 
*Sarah Connor*: Doesn't want you doing too much thinking, huh? 
*The Terminator*: No.


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (Apr 10, 2005)

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole multi colored collection of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon." 

-Raoul Duke, _Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_


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## Mark (Apr 11, 2005)

Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have. - Bill Munny (Unforgiven)


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## Rel (Apr 11, 2005)

Mark said:
			
		

> Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have. - Bill Munny (Unforgiven)




Oooh.  That one reminds me of another favorite quote by Mr. Munny (one that I've used in game):

"'Deserve' ain't got nothin' to do with it."


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## Qlippoth (Apr 12, 2005)

"When they was no meat we ate fowl, when there was no fowl we ate crawdad. And when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand."
"You ate what?"
"We ate sand."
"You ate sand?"
"That's right."

One of my favorites (Raising Arizona)


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## CalicoDave (Apr 12, 2005)

"Do you know anything about a guy going around playing the harmonica? He's someone you'd remember. Instead of talking, he plays. And when he better play, he talks."

- Cheyenne, _Once Upon a Time in the West_


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## zepherus (Apr 12, 2005)

*Two from one of my favorites...*

Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

Jamie: I wish we had time to bury them fellas.
Josey Wales: To hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.

_The Outlaw Josey Wales_ ( 1976, Clint Eastwood )


The second one actually came out during a game, when the LG Cleric wanted to take the time to bury the creatures we had killed...the quote came from the halfling rogue!


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## Wombat (Apr 12, 2005)

Knight:  You speak treason!
Robin Hood:  Fluently
(Adventures of Robin Hood, Errol Flynn)


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## Dark Jezter (Apr 12, 2005)

*Dirty Harry:* "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

*District Attourney:* "You're lucky I'm not indicting you for assault with intent to commit murder."
*Dirty Harry:* "What?"
*District Attourney:* "Where the hell does it say that you've got a right to kick down doors, torture suspects, deny medical attention and legal counsel? Where have you been? Does Escobedo ring a bell? Miranda? I mean, you must have heard of the Fourth Amendment. What I'm saying is that man had rights."
*Dirty Harry:* "Well, I'm all broken up over that man's rights."

_Dirty Harry_ (1971, Clint Eastwood)

*Lloyd Christmas:* "We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets' _heads are falling off!_"

*Harry Dunn:* "And then she dumps me right out of the blue."
*Lloyd Christmas:* "Did she give you a reason?"
*Harry Dunn:* "Yeah.  I called her up.  She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough, I dunno: I wasn't really paying attention."

*Lloyd Christmas:* "What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?"
*Mary Swanson:* "Not good."
*Lloyd Christmas:* "Not good like one in a hundred?"
*Mary Swanson:* "More like one in a million."
*Lloyd Christmas:* "...So you're telling me there's a chance?  _YEAH!!!"_

*Lloyd Christmas:* "We need to go someplace warm, where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.  I'm talking about a little place called Aspen."
*Harry Dunn:* "I dunno, Lloyd, the French are ***holes."

*Harry Dunn:* "What's in the briefcase?"
*Lloyd Christmas:* "Man, I'd have to be some kind of lowlife to go rooting around in someone else's private property."
*Harry Dunn:* "Is it locked?"
*Lloyd Christmas:* "Yeah, really well."

_Dumb & Dumber_ (1994, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels)

(Ahh Dumb & Dumber, one of my favorite comedies of all time.  )


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## Tonguez (Apr 12, 2005)

*Chewbacca:* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh 
*C-3PO:* He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you. 
*Han Solo*: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee. 
*C-3PO:* But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid. 
*Han Solo*: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that. 
*Chewbacca*: Grrf. 
*C-3PO*: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win. 

(yep best quote in the whole series)


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## Filby (Apr 12, 2005)

*Watts:* I've been thinking a lot lately about you and me and I came to a conclusion that I didn't want to deal with, but now that we've talked I can't hide it anymore. I think we would get along much better if we didn't spend so much time together.
*Keith:* Why?
*Watts:* Because I'm driving you crazy, and you're driving me crazy, and I would rather not be around you and have you think good things about me, than have you see me and hate me. Because I can't afford to have you hate me, Keith! The only things I care about in this goddamn life are me, my drums, and you... Adios.

-- _Some Kind of Wonderful_ (1987), Mary Stuart Masterson and Eric Stoltz.


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## Bloodstone Press (Apr 12, 2005)

Sternn? 

He's nothing but a low-down, double-dealin', backstabbin, larcenous perverted worm! Hanging's too good for him! Burning’s too good for him! He should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!

 --Heavy Metal


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## WayneLigon (Apr 12, 2005)

I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad. -- Marv, _Sin City_


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## Mystery Man (Apr 12, 2005)

I hadn't seen a body put together like that since I solved the case of the Murdered Girl with the Big   ~ Steve Martin, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid


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## Mark (Apr 12, 2005)

Good ones. 

Here's a bunch, all from the same flick - 


The report read "Routine retirement of a replicant." That didn't make me feel any better about shooting a woman in the back. - Decker (Blade Runner)


They don't advertise for killers in the newspaper. That was my profession. Ex-cop. Ex-blade runner. Ex-killer. - Decker (Blade Runner)


I was quit when I come in here, Bryant, I'm twice as quit now. - Decker (Blade Runner)


I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life, anybody's life, my life. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die. - Decker (Blade Runner)


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## Filby (Apr 12, 2005)

I can't believe I haven't seen that movie.


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## fett527 (Apr 12, 2005)

*Ike Clanton*: What is that Holiday? Twelve hands in a row? Ain't nobody that lucky. 
*Doc Holliday*: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game. I know! Let's have a spelling contest! 

*Doc Holliday*: I have not yet begun to defile myself. 

*Doc Holliday*: I'm your huckleberry.


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## Henry (Apr 12, 2005)

You want ones that give personalities? Got a few:

Demolition Man (1993)

*Taco Bell Patron:* What would you say if I called you a brutish fossil, symbolic of a decayed era, gratefully forgotten? 
*John Spartan:* I don't know... thanks? 


*Erwin:* We're police officers! We're not trained to handle this kind of violence! 

and finally...

*Edgar Friendly (Dennis Leary with a name-change):* You see, according to Cocteau's plan I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green jello all over my body reading playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener". 

_One of the most fun rants ever._


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## fett527 (Apr 12, 2005)

And I just couldn't help myself:

*Boba Fett*: As you wish.

*Boba Fett*: He's no good to me dead.

*Boba Fett*: What if he doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me.

*Boba Fett*: Put Captain Solo in the cargo hold.


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## Wystan (Apr 12, 2005)

Remo Williams:

Sensei: Put you hands over your head.
-Proceeds to hit him hard-
Sensei: I did not say to keep them there.

Remo: See you can't even pronounce what's in there.
Sensei: Just because I can pronounce Rat poison does not mean I want to eat it.


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## Rel (Apr 12, 2005)

Henry said:
			
		

> I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay?




Ahh.  Poetry.


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## DM_Jeff (Apr 12, 2005)

*Quotification*

"There aren't evil guys and innocent guys. It's just... It's just... It's just a bunch of guys."
-Ben Stiller's character in Zero Effect.

"The quest for the grail is not archeology, it's a race against evil. If it is captured by the Nazis the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the earth. Do you understand me?"
-Sean Connery in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade.

"Yes. Yes. I'm George, George McFly. I'm your density. I mean... your destiny."
-Crispin Glover, Back to the Future.

-DM Jeff


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## reveal (Apr 12, 2005)

*Elwood:* It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarattes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

*Jake:* Hit it.


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## Maerdwyn (Apr 12, 2005)

"How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?"

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
-Both by Kevin Spacey's Verbal, from _The Usual Suspects_ 

"Oh, I hated the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face, 'oooh, you're going to buy my chicken! oooh!'"
"Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?""Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smart***!"
-Charlie and Father, from _So I Married an Axe Murderer_


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## Mystery Man (Apr 12, 2005)

*UHF*

-Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs, all next week on Town Talk!

-Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner who MOCKS him and LAUGHS at him as he's repeatedly CRUSHED and MAIMED. Hope you ENJOY IT.


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## Ankh-Morpork Guard (Apr 12, 2005)

We've gotten this far and no one has mentioned it yet...so, I guess I'll have to.


_"No, Luke...*I* am your father."_ - Darth Vader (David Prowse/James Earl Jones)


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## reveal (Apr 12, 2005)

*Dark Helmet:* Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
*Lone Starr:* What?
*Dark Helmet:* I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
*Lone Starr:* What's that make us?
*Dark Helmet:* Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.


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## Rel (Apr 12, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> *Dark Helmet:* Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
> *Lone Starr:* What?
> *Dark Helmet:* I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
> *Lone Starr:* What's that make us?
> *Dark Helmet:* Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.




"I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine."


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## Klaus (Apr 12, 2005)

"That's not a moon. That's a space station."
- Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: A New Hope

"I have a bad feeling about this."
- Every single Star Wars movie, including Clone Wars

"Boba Fett?! Boba Fett!?!?! Where???"
KRASH!
"AIIIEEEEEEE!!!!"
"BURP!"
- Han Solo, Boba Fett and the Sarlacc, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

"A JEDI KNIGHT?! I go away for a little while and everyone get delusions of grandeur!"
- Han Solo, upon learning that Luke is a "jedi knight", Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

For good quotes, check out "I'd just as soon kiss a wookie!: The quotable Star Wars". Very funny.


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## Ankh-Morpork Guard (Apr 12, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> "I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine."



 A great one, but its just not the same without seeing the expression on Lone Star's face when he looks down to check.


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## Datt (Apr 13, 2005)

"AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherf****r in the room, accept no substitutes."  - Ordell Robbie (Samuel L. Jackson) Jackie Brown


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## Krieg (Apr 13, 2005)

fett527 said:
			
		

> "Fear is nothing more than a feeling. You feel hot, you feel hungry, you feel angry, you feel afraid. Fear can never kill you."
> Chiun- _Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins_




"I must not fear.  Fear is the mindkiller.  Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain."  

*---Paul Muad'Dib - Dune*


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## Krieg (Apr 13, 2005)

Mark said:
			
		

> Here's a bunch, all from the same flick -
> 
> .../snip/...
> 
> (Blade Runner)




"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.

I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate.

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears ... in rain....

Time...to die." 
*
---Roy Batty - Bladerunner*


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## kirinke (Apr 13, 2005)

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. 

****​There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. 

****​Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. 

****​The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. 
****​Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. 

From the late, great Douglas Adams....


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## Krieg (Apr 13, 2005)

Klaus said:
			
		

> Star Wars: Return of the Jedi




"Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets."

*---Dante - Clerks*


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## Krieg (Apr 13, 2005)

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.

First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time...

For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...

You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday
*
---Lester Burnham - American Beauty*

1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!

*---also Lester Burnam - same film*


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## Krieg (Apr 13, 2005)

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief.

We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer.

You know how you know that in the water, Chief?

You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent.

They didn't even list us overdue for a week.

Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away.

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces.

You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. 

Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist.

At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up.

You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn.

I'll never put on a lifejacket again.

So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.

...Anyway, we delivered the bomb. 
*
---Quint - Jaws*


----------



## Krieg (Apr 13, 2005)

“Great Spirit and the Maker of All Life. A warrior goes to you swift and straight as an arrow shot into the sun. Welcome him and let him take his place at the council fire of my people. He is Uncas, my son. Tell them to be patient and ask Death for speed; for they are all there but one - I, Chingachgook - Last of the Mohicans.”

*---Chingachgook - Last of the Mohicans*


"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." 
*
---Maximus - Gladiator*

"Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE (William Wallace) were here, he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse."

"*I AM* William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my country men, here, in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?"

"Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take... Our Freedom!!!"
*
---William Wallace - Breaveheart*


"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."

*---Red - Shawshank Redemption *


----------



## mojo1701 (Apr 13, 2005)

*The Dude:* That rug really tied the room together, man.

*Walter Sobchak:* OVER THE LINE!
*Smokey:* Huh?
*Walter Sobchak:* I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul.
*Smokey:* Bulls***. Mark it 8, Dude.
*Walter Sobchak:* Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame.
*Smokey:* Bulls***, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude.
*Walter Sobchak:* Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

*The Dude*: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

[_at the funeral parlor_]
*Walter Sobchak:* Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps! 

-- _The Big Lebowski_.

There are a LOT more, as anyone who has seen this movie would know, but they're not exactly grandma-friendly.


----------



## Padril (Apr 13, 2005)

Arise! Arise riders of Theoden. Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered, a sword day, a red day ere the sun rises!

Ride now, ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin and the world’s ending! DEATH!

*King Theoden of Rohan - The Return Of The King*


----------



## Tric (Apr 13, 2005)

Padril said:
			
		

> Arise! Arise riders of Theoden. Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered, a sword day, a red day ere the sun rises!
> 
> Ride now, ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin and the world’s ending! DEATH!
> 
> *King Theoden of Rohan - The Return Of The King*




I get the coolshivers every time I see that scene. He also says it in the end of TTT, I believe.

Pulp Fiction is the best movie ever, though.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"

"This IS a tasty burger!"

"I'm gonna get medieval on your ass."


----------



## Rel (Apr 13, 2005)

mojo1701 said:
			
		

> *-- The Big Lebowski.
> 
> There are a LOT more, as anyone who has seen this movie would know, but they're not exactly grandma-friendly.*



*

"I mean, say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos!"

"The Dude abides..."

Best.  Movie.  EVAR!*


----------



## Mallus (Apr 13, 2005)

I've always been partial to...

"History...tradition...culture...these are not concepts, they are trophies I keep in my den as paperweights!" --Darwin Mayflower, _Husdon Hawk_

and...

"Why did you come to Casablanca, Rick?"
"I came for the waters."
"But Rick, Casablanca is in the middle of the desert."
"I was misinformed."  --Capt. Louis Renault and Rick Blaine, _Casablanca_


----------



## reveal (Apr 13, 2005)

Classics from History of the World Part 1:

*Soldier:* "We're looking for a pack of Trojans!"
*Henny Youngman:* *snaps fingers* "I _just_ ran out."

*Soldier:* "He's a eunuch."
*Soldier:* "_He's_ a eunuch."
*Soldier:* "He's dead."

*Moses:* "Behold, I bring unto you these 15..." *crash* "10! 10 commandments!"


----------



## Klaus (Apr 13, 2005)

Gandalf: Look. Theoden King stands alone.

Eomer: No, not alone. Rohirrim! TO THE KING!!!!!!!

- From Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers


----------



## Storm Raven (Apr 13, 2005)

Krieg said:
			
		

> "Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take... Our Freedom!!!"
> *
> ---William Wallace - Breaveheart*




A speech that borrows heavily from Shakespeare's _Henry V_.


----------



## reveal (Apr 13, 2005)

And since no one has mentioned them...

*Ash:* Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

*Ash:* This... is my BOOMSTICK!

*Ash:* How 'bout a little hot chocolate!

*Ash:* Gimme some sugar, baby.

*Ash:* Hail to the king, baby.

*Ash:* KLAATU! VIRATA! NIC*cough mumble*!


----------



## Brother Shatterstone (Apr 13, 2005)

"I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."

*John Bernard Books* _The Shootist_


----------



## Ankh-Morpork Guard (Apr 13, 2005)

"Excellent!!!" - Ted Logan(Keanu Reeves) and Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter) *Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure*


----------



## Dark Jezter (Apr 13, 2005)

Ankh-Morpork Guard said:
			
		

> "Excellent!!!" - Ted Logan(Keanu Reeves) and Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter) *Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure*



*
 "Be excellent to each other."

-Bill S. Preston, Esquire.

"Party on, dudes!"

-Ted Theodore Logan

*


----------



## Brother Shatterstone (Apr 14, 2005)

*Defense Attorney: * Did you approach my client with a cocked and loaded pistol? 

*Rooster Cogburn:* Well, a cocked and _unloaded_ pistol ain't goin' to do you any good. 

True Grit


----------



## WayneLigon (Apr 14, 2005)

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California. -- Lex Luthor. _Superman_


----------



## Romulan_Knight (Apr 14, 2005)

"Time line. this ain't the time to ague about time we just don't have the time"
Riker star trek first contact.


----------



## Mark (Apr 14, 2005)

Romulan_Knight said:
			
		

> "Time line. this ain't the time to ague about time we just don't have the time"
> Riker star trek first contact.





or... Deanna Troi


----------



## Mark (Apr 14, 2005)

I found out the way your mind works and the kind of man you are. I know your plans and expectations - you've burbled every bit of strategy you've got. I know exactly what you will do, and exactly what you won't, and I've told you exactly nothing. To these aged eyes, boy, that's what winning looks like! - Henry II (A Lion in Winter)


----------



## rln (Apr 14, 2005)

*From "Boondock Saints":*

[a Russian gangster comes into the bar]
Murphy: So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team. 

***​
Connor: [picking out weapons and gear] Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.
Murphy: Absolutely. What are you, insane?
Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
Murphy: What?
Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.
Murphy: You've lost it, haven't ya?
Connor: No, I'm serious.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one thing you'd need a rope for.
Connor: You don't f*ck*n' know what you're gonna need it for. They just always need it.
Murphy: What's this 'they' sh*t? This isn't a movie.
Connor: Oh, right.
[picks up large knife out of Murphy's bag]
Connor: Is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right. Get your stupid f*ck*n' rope.
Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. There's a rope right there.

***​
Murphy: [the two brothers are in an air shaft and getting a bit uncomfortable] Where the f*ck are you going?
Connor: Shhh. I'm trying to figure some sh*t out, so keep your trap shut.
Murphy: Ahh, f*ck you. I'm sweatin' my ass off carrying your f*ck*n' rope around. Must weigh 30lbs.
Connor: Shhh. This is some serious sh*t, so get a-f*ck*ng-hold of yourself!
Murphy: [shouts] Oh, f*ck you! I'm not the rope-totin', Charlie Bronson-wannabe getting us f*ck*ng lost!
Connor: Would you shut it?
[taps him on the head with his flash light, and both brothers start fighting in the air vent until it gives way]
Connor: Jesus f*ck*ng Christ!
[as the vent is about to give way] 

***​
[after dropping through the ceiling on a rope and killing nine mobsters]
Connor: Well, "Name one thing you're gonna need this stupid f*ck*ng rope for."
Murphy: That was way easier than I thought it would be.
Connor: Aye.
Murphy: On TV you always have that guy that jumps over the sofa...
Connor: And then you've got to shoot at him for ten f*ck*ng minutes.
Murphy: We're good.
Connor: Yes, we are.


----------



## Romulan_Knight (Apr 14, 2005)

Mark said:
			
		

> or... Deanna Troi




sorry it is deanna troi i forgot i havent seen first contact in about 3 months.


----------



## Phaedrus (Apr 16, 2005)

You a bountyhunter?

Man's got to make a living.

Dying ain't much of a living.


----------



## rbingham2000 (Apr 17, 2005)

Agent Smecker from Boondock Saints had a ton of hilarious quotes from the movie as well. Here are just a few:

Agent Smecker: Brilliant! So now we've got a 'huge guy' theory and a 'serial crusher' theory. Top notch. What's your name?
Detective Greenly: Detective Greenly. Who the f*ck are you?
[Agent Smecker opens his jacket to show his FBI credentials]
Agent Smecker: _That's_ who the f*ck I am.

[after finding the McManus brothers' apartment]
Agent Smecker: We'll start the ass-kissing with _you_.
[cocks his thumb right at Greenly]

[after being asked if the McManus brothers can stay at the station]
Agent Smecker: Well, we'll have to check with your mom...but it's okay with _me_ if your friends sleep over.

Agent Smecker: You Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kinda makes me feel like Riverdancing.


----------



## Aris Dragonborn (Apr 17, 2005)

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Han Solo, Star Wars: A New Hope.

"And so it was that the Fourth Age began, and the Fellowship of the Ring, though eternally bound by love and friendship, had ended." Frodo Baggins, The Return of the King.

"Well, I'm back." Sam Gamgee, Return of the King.

Just to digress, I'd like to quote the Appendices, which I think was the basis for Frodo's line. Did anyone else who read this in the RotK Appendices experience some sort of profound sadness, like a close friend had left and wasn't coming back?

"1541 - In this year on March 1st came at last the passing of King Elessar. It is said that the beds of Meriadoc and Peregrin were set beside the bed of the great king. Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down the Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in Middle-Earth of the Fellowship of the Ring."


----------



## shilsen (Apr 18, 2005)

Aris Dragonborn said:
			
		

> Did anyone else who read this in the RotK Appendices experience some sort of profound sadness, like a close friend had left and wasn't coming back?
> 
> "1541 - In this year on March 1st came at last the passing of King Elessar. It is said that the beds of Meriadoc and Peregrin were set beside the bed of the great king. Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down the Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in Middle-Earth of the Fellowship of the Ring."




Didn't everybody?


----------



## Mark (Apr 18, 2005)

shilsen said:
			
		

> Didn't everybody?




Add me to that list, too.


----------



## Ranger REG (Apr 18, 2005)

_"You broke the ship. You broke the bloody ship!"_
--Alexander Dane/Dr. Lazarus; _Galaxy Quest._


*Quotes from The Gladiator...*

_"People should know when they're conquered."
"Would you, Quintus? Would I?"​_--Quintus and Roman General Maximus Decimus Meridius

_"Strength and Honor."_
-- General Maximus

_"At my signal, unleash Hell."_
-- General Maximus

_"Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops.
 Imagine where you will be, and it will be so.
 Hold the line! Stay with me!
 If you find yourself alone, riding in green fields
 With the sun on your face, do not be troubled.
 For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!
 Brothers, what we do in life ... echoes in eternity."_
-- General Maximus

_"Roma Victor!"_
-- General Maximus

_"Where do you stand, General? Emperor or Senate?"
"The soldier has the advantage
Of being able to look his enemies
 In the eye, Senator."​_-- Senator Falco and General Maximus

_"I have seen much of the rest of the world.
 It is brutal and cruel and dark.
 Rome is the light."_
-- General Maximus

_"When a man sees his end,
 He wants to know there was some purpose to his life."_
-- Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius Caesar

_"Ancestors, I ask for your guidance.
 Blessed Mother, come to me with the gods' desire for my future.
 Blessed Father, watch over my wife and son with a ready sword.
 Whisper to them I live only to hold them again.
 Ancestors, I honor you
 And will try to live with the dignity you taught me."_
-- General Maximus's evening prayer

_"Caesar shall do all that Rome requires."_
-- Lucilla

_"I think he knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob.
 Conjure magic for them, and they'll be distracted.
 Take away their freedom and still they'll roar.
 The beating heart of Rome...
 Is not the marble of the Senate.
 It's the sand of the Colosseum.
 He'll bring them death,
 And they will love him for it."_
-- Senator Gracchus

_"The Colosseum.
 Oh, you should see the Colosseum, Spaniard.
 Fifty thoussand Romans...
 Watching ... every moment of your sword.
 Willing you to make the killer blow.
 The silence before you strike...
 And the noise afterwards,
 It rise up like a storm
 As if you were the thunder god himself."_
-- Proximo

_"Then, listen to me. Learn from me.
 I wasn't the best because I killed quickly.
 I was the best because of crowd loved me.
 Win the crowd, and you'll win your freedom."
"I will win the crowd.
I will give them something they have never seen before."​_-- Proximo and the "Spaniard" Maximus

_"So, Spaniard, we shall go to Rome together...
 And have bloody adventures!
 And the Great [bleep] will suckle on us
 Until we are fat and happy and can suckle no more
 And then, when enough men have died,
 Perhaps, you will have your freedom."_
-- Proximo

_"The gods have spared you. Don't you understand?
 Today I saw a slave become more powerful
 Than the Emperor of Rome."
"The gods have spared me? I am at their mercy,
	 With the power only to amuse a mob."​"That is power. The mob is Rome."_
-- Lucilla and Maximus

_"You have a great name.
 He must kill your name
 Before he kills you."_
-- Gladiator Juba

_"I don't pretend to be a man of the people, Senator.
 But I do try to be a man for the people."_
-- Senator Gracchus

_"We mortals are but shadows and dust."_
-- Proximo


----------



## Aris Dragonborn (Apr 19, 2005)

"I'll tell you a secret - something they don't teach you in the temple.
The Gods envy _us_.
They envy us _because_ we're mortal. Because any moment might be our last. Everything's more beautiful _because_ we're doomed.
You will never be lovelier than you are now.
We will never be here again."

Achilles, speaking to Perseus, _Troy_.


----------



## Mark (Apr 20, 2005)

_Hello children, hello.
Here is this morning's story.
Are you ready?
Then we'll begin.

(opens a big storybook)

One day, Rickie the Magic Pixie went to visit Daisy Bumble in her Tumbledown cottage. 
He found her in the bedroom. Roughly he grabbed her heaving shoulders, pulling her on the bed rapidly and ripping off her thin... ummm...

(flipping a few pages)

Old Nick, the sea captain, was a rough, tough, jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea, and he loved to hang out down by the docks where the men dressed as ladies.... ummm...

(flipping a few more pages)

Rumple-Tweezer ran the Dinky-Tinky Shop, in the foot of the magic oaktree, by the Wobbly Dum-Dum tree,in the shade of the magic glade, down in Dingley Dell.  Here he sold contraceptives and... ummm...

(interested, slowly turns the page and reads on almost to himself)

Mary Stokes was.... ummm...

With a MELON?!?!

That's it for today, children._

- Eric Idle (Children's Storytime)


----------



## Mark (Apr 25, 2005)

"You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once!" - Danny Vermin (Johnny Dangerously)


(More here - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087507/quotes )


----------



## amethal (Apr 26, 2005)

Mark said:
			
		

> Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have. - Bill Munny (Unforgiven)




Sheriff - "Mister, you just shot an unarmed man."
Bill Munny - "He should have armed himself, before using my friend as a porch ornament."


----------



## Mark (Apr 30, 2005)

"Where is this Augrah? What does she look like? How will I find her? 'Follow the Greatest Sun for a day to the home of Augrah'... hmph. Some directions!" - Jen (The Dark Crystal)


I always thought that Augrah from The Dark Crystal was too close to Yoda.


----------



## Chain Lightning (Apr 30, 2005)

Good to hear someone mentioning Quint from "Jaws".


Some of my favorites:

-_"Because she's got a great @$$! And you got your head... all the way up it! Fierce aren't I? When I think of a woman's @$$, something comes outta me."_ - Vincent from Heat Actually, there's a ton of quotable lines from Heat. My friends and I quote that movie constantly. 

-I would also love to quote Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from "Full Metal Jacket" , but that's a lot of profanity. But I'll least mention that I love everything coming out of R. Lee Ermey's mouth in that movie.   


and of course ... (if my memory recalls it correctly, cuz I didn't ever spend money on buying a copy of it on DVD):

-_"You thieves are all alike. Taking what doesn't belong to you."_ -Damodar Dungeons & Dragons . This one had me and my friends laughing for quite some time.





			
				Tric said:
			
		

> I get the coolshivers every time I see that scene. He also says it in the end of TTT, I believe.




Nah, for me, the Theoden line that gets to me is:  _"No parent should have to bury their child."_ 

I have to admit, that choked me up a bit.


----------



## mhacdebhandia (May 1, 2005)

"Eddie Barzoon. Take a good look, because he's the poster child for the next millennium! These people, it's no mystery where they come from! You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire, you build egos the size of cathedrals, fibre-optically connect the world to every eager impulse, grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green gold-plated fantasies until every human becomes an aspiring emperor – becomes his own God! And where can you go from there?

And as we're scrambling from one deal to the next, who's got his eye on the planet as the air thickens, the water sours, and the bees' honey takes on the metallic taste of radioactivity? And it just keeps coming, faster and faster. There's no chance to think, to prepare – it's buy futures, sell futures, when there is no future! We got a runaway train, boy, we got a billion Eddie Barzoons all joggin' into the future, every one of them getting ready to fist-f*** God’s ex-planet, lick their fingers clean as they reach out to their pristine cybernetic keyboards to tote up their f****n' billable hours.

And then it hits home: you gotta pay your own way, Eddie! It's a little late in the game to buy out now! Your belly's too full, your d*** is soft, your eyes are bloodshot and you’re screaming for someone to help! But guess what? There's no-one there! You're all alone, Eddie, you're God's special little creature.

Maybe it's true, maybe God threw the dice once too often. Maybe he let us all down."

John Milton, _The Devil's Advocate_.


----------



## Andrew D. Gable (May 1, 2005)

We are _not_ the same.  I'm an American -- you're a sick a**hole.
-Falling Down


----------



## Warrior Poet (May 3, 2005)

From the great Jim Jarmusch:

"Do you say, 'Look at the window, or 'Look in the window?'"
"In this case, Bob, you would definitely say, 'Look at the window.'"
_Down By Law_

"It was a very cunning rabbit."
_Down By Law_

"Do not let the sun burn a hole in your ass, William Blake."
_Dead Man_

"My father come over from Scotland, member of the McTwill clan -- the tartan was a sort of purple and gold, never wore a lick of it myself -- dropped the 'Mc' from his name, and that was the rest.  What about you, Cole?  Where're you from?  Always kind of figured you for a German.  Austrian?  Am I right?   Am I close?" <gunshot>
_Dead Man_

"Are you William Blake?"
"Yes.  Do you know my poetry?" <gunshot>
_Dead Man_

"I see you have aquired more of the white man's metal."
"I seem to be a magnet for it."
_Dead Man_

"My name is 'Ex'ay B'chay.'  He-Who-Talks-Loud-Saying-Nothing."
_Dead Man_

Warrior Poet


----------



## Teflon Billy (May 3, 2005)

Tonguez said:
			
		

> *Chewbacca:* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh
> *C-3PO:* He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
> *Han Solo*: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
> *C-3PO:* But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
> ...




You are insane. Best quote of the series is as follows...

*Leia* (Shrugging off restraining Stromtroopers as Han is about to be frozen in Carbonite): _I love you!!!_

*Han Solo* (Deadpan): "...I know"

Han Solo was just about the greatest man in the history of Cinema 

My friedns and I have theory that the moment a boy turns into a man is when he starts identifying with Solo instead of Skywalker.


----------



## P0L (May 4, 2005)

[after showing him a clip from the porn movie starring Bunny] 
Maude Lebowski: You can imagine where it goes from here. 
The Dude: He fixes the cable? 
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey. 
----------------------------------------
Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the f is this? 
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer. 
---------------------------------------
Smokey: Yeah but I wasn't over. 
Walter Sobchak: [pulls out a gun] Smokey you are about to enter a world of pain. 
Smokey: Yeah but... 
Walter Sobchak: [shouting] A world of pain. 
Smokey: Dude, could you... 
The Dude: Jesus Walter, you bring a fing gun bowling? 
Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one who pays attention to the rules any more? 
--------------------------------------------------
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter? 
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of. 
------------------------------------------------------
The Dude: Jesus. 
Jesus Quintana: You said it man. Nobody f***s with the Jesus. 
------------------------------------------------
*The Dude*: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh... 
*Donny*: I am the walrus. 
*The Dude*: You know what I'm trying to say... 
*Walter Sobchak*: That ing b****... 
*Donny*: I am the walrus. 
*Walter Sobchak*: shut the f*** up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Illanich Uleninov! 
--------------------------------------------------
*Nihilist*: We believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson. 
*The Dude*: Excuse me? 
*Nihilist*: I said 
[_shouting_] 
*Nihilist*: "We'll cut off your johnson"! 
*Nihilist*: Just you think about that, Lebowski. 
*Nihilist*: Yeah, your wiggly penis, Lebowski. 
*Nihilist*: Yeah and maybe we stomp on it and squoosh it, Lebowski. 
---------------------------------------------
*Walter Sobchak*: Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary. 
----------------------------------------------
*Younger Cop*: And was there anything of value in the car? 
*The Dude*: Oh, uh, yeah, uh... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh... uh, my briefcase. 
*Younger Cop*: [_expectant pause_] In the briefcase? 
*The Dude*: Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers. 
*Younger Cop*: And what do you do, sir? 
*The Dude*: I'm unemployed. 
--------------------------------------------

Most quotable movie EVER


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## fett527 (May 4, 2005)

Teflon Billy said:
			
		

> You are insane. Best quote of the series is as follows...
> 
> *Leia* (Shrugging off restraining Stromtroopers as Han is about to be frozen in Carbonite): _I love you!!!_
> 
> ...



 Absolutely the best lines and scene of the entire trilogy.  Thank God for Irvin Kershner and Harrison Ford!


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## fett527 (May 4, 2005)

"Ferris Bueller you're my hero"

-Cameron, _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_


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## fett527 (May 4, 2005)

"Well, I believe in the soul, the c@@@, the p@@@@, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

-Crash Davis. _Bull Durham_


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## Warrior Poet (May 4, 2005)

P0L said:
			
		

> Extensive _The Big Lebowski_ quotes
> 
> Most quotable movie EVER




Rapidly moving up my list of favorite comedies ever.  What an absolutely outstanding movie.  "At least they didn't take the Creedence."

Warrior Poet


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## mojo1701 (May 5, 2005)

P0L said:
			
		

> Most quotable movie EVER




Oh, you betcha. I use the quotes all the time, man. They really... tie the room together.


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## Barendd Nobeard (May 5, 2005)

Magenta: I ask for nothing!  Master.
Frank: Then you shall receive it--in abundance!
 - _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_

Raymond Marble: The couch!  It--it rejected you!
 - _Pink Flamingos_

Dr. Flexi (handing Dale a dress): It's my mother's; she was buried in it.
 - _Flesh Gordon_

Criswell:  Future events, such as these, will affect you in the future.
 - _Plan 9 From Outer Space_


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## mhacdebhandia (May 5, 2005)

"Maricella, su esposa? El momento usted dejó el apartamento, ella estaba arriba con Carlos. Mi amigo, estanda la pipa fumando "crack". Están en la cocina que parte un jumbo. Y después, en tumisma cama, él se la va c*g*r pore c*l*. Y ella la va gusta, en tu cama verda especial."

John Milton, _The Devil's Advocate_.

Hehe. Some of this Spanish may be off. I had to ear-translate with BabelFish and I don't know that much Spanish.


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## mhacdebhandia (May 5, 2005)

Also:

"Vanity is definitely my favourite sin. Oh, Kevin, it's so basic: self-love, the all-natural opiate. You know, it's not that you didn't care for Mary Ann, Kevin, it's just that you were a little bit more involved with someone else - yourself?"

John Milton, once more.


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## P0L (May 5, 2005)

Yes! The Devils Advocate has also GREAT quotes:

*John Milton*: Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, f***in' 4ss off. He's a tight-4ss. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never. 

*Kevin Lomax*: God damnit, what did you do to my wife? 
*John Milton*: Well, on a scale of one to ten... ten being the most depraved act of sexual theatre know to man... one being your average Friday night run-through at the Lomaxes' household... I'd say, not to be immodest, Mary Ann and I got it on at about... seven. 

From: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118971/quotes


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## mojo1701 (May 5, 2005)

Dodgeball:

*Patches O'Houlihan:* If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
[and the variation]:
*Patches O'Houlihan:* If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.

*White Goodman:* Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
*Peter La Fleur:* Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.
*White Goodman:* Yeah, you will take your chances.
*Peter La Fleur:* I know. I just said that.
*White Goodman:* I know you just said that.
*Peter La Fleur:* I'm not sure where you're going with this.
*White Goodman:* I'm not sure where _you're_ going with this.
*Peter La Fleur:* That's what I said.
*White Goodman:* That's what I'm saying to you.
*Peter La Fleur:* All right.
*White Goodman:* Touché.

*White Goodman:* I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas' silver.

*White Goodman:* Your "gym" is a skidmark on the underpants of society.

*White Goodman:* Oh, hello, Kate. I wasn't aware I was paying you to "socialize".
*Kate Veatch:* You're not. I'm off the clock.
*White Goodman:* Well, isn't that convenient for you? And the clock.

*Peter La Fleur:* Yeah, uh, Patches... are you sure this is completely necessary?
*Patches O'Houlihan:* Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
*Peter La Fleur:* Probably not.
*Patches O'Houlihan:* No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.
*Peter La Fleur:* ...Okay.


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## DungeonmasterCal (May 5, 2005)

"The new phonebooks are here! I'm SOMEBODY!"--Steve Martin as Navin Johnson, "The Jerk"

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." Dean Wermer (I forget the actor), from "Animal House".

"Hanging's too good for him.  Burning's too good for him.  He should be torn into little bitty pieces and BURIED ALIVE!!" The prosecutor during Capt. Stearn's trial, "Heavy Metal".

"Ya'll are brutalizin' me!" Ronnie Dobbs, "Run, Ronnie, Run."

"The line must be drawn here. This far, no further! And, I will make them pay for what they've done."-Picard, from "First Contact".  (After this speech, I was ready to sign up for the Academy right then and kick Borg butt!)

My sig, while not exactly a quote, is from a sign found in one of my favorite movies.  I won't say what movie, but if anyone can guess it correctly you win my undying respect....for whatever that's worth.


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## Elemental (May 7, 2005)

"Every man dies. Not every man truly lives."

-- _Braveheart_


"Between the times when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Arius, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the jewelled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure."

"He is Conan. a Cimerrian. He will not cry. So....I cry for him."

--_Conan the Barbarian_ 


"I am no man!"

--_Return of the King_


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