# American Die



## Ziona (Mar 19, 2002)

Coming Soon:  AMERICAN DIE - From the players that brought you "Knight's of the Silver Quill" and "Unusual Heroes"...


----------



## Xaltar (Mar 19, 2002)

Characters:

Gaff - Ranger/ Rogue, The Aspiring Vigilante and Hero!
Drak Ironheart - Fighter, The Obnobxious Bully
Bryza Ironheart - Fighter, Tough as Nails Sister of Drak
Nuttin - Wizard, 70 year old Halfling Wizard
Lox Lumly - Rogue, Clepto Halfling Thief

Nuttin (That Senile Old Geezer) has his own chronicles, although as sparse as his hairline, at:  The Old Man's Decision


----------



## Xaltar (Mar 19, 2002)

American Die, Part 1:

We entered the dark dwarven mine in search of our mutual friend, Albert Montbank.  To most he was considered a local hero, a wise sage, a seasoned adventurer, a skilled healer, or even a devoted cleric to St. Cuthbert, but to me, he was inspiration to better my own existence.

Drak led our outlandish group deeper into the mines until we found an area where the miners evidently broke through to a well constructed dungeon like area.  Drak and his sister, Bryza, hasted me and the two halflings into the unknown area, there wasn’t much time left, we had to hurry.

“Nails,” (As Drak called me due to my choice of weapons, bladed gauntlets on each hand), “keep an eye on the pickpocket and the old man, I’m going to check out that door,” shouted the Drak right before he oafishly fell into a 10-foot deep pit trap.

I stifled my muffled my laugh as Bryza glanced my way.  If it wasn’t for Alfred, I would never associate myself with the Ironheart family.  Generations of bully’s who believe they can fix all problems with brute force.  Although I personally despise Drak, and have no empathy towards his sister, I know that I would be no match to them in physical combat if our feud were ever to escalate to that level.

Regardless, Bryza had lowered a rope and quickly hefted her pea-brained brother out of the trap.  He was already bounding down the hallway to see what further mischief he could bring upon us.  At the far end of the corridor, there was a large oak door.  Drak noted to the party that the handle was covered in dust.  I felt that it was obvious that Alfred would not be found in that direction and began to once again search for recent tracks.

“I bet you think your so smart Nails, well you ain’t.  Now get over here, I’m gonna open it up.”

Nothing I could do but watch, secretly hoping that something would happen to knock Drak’s inflated ego down a few notches.  As the door swung open, all that we could see inside was a skeleton with a broom.  It appeared to be sweeping the room with great effort.  I quickly moved to shut the door before there was unnecessary and time consuming battle, “We must find Alfred first.”

Drak intellectually retorted, “Whatever!”


----------



## med stud (Mar 20, 2002)

What has this to do with killing Americans?


----------



## Xaltar (Mar 20, 2002)

The name is a parody of "American Pie".  

In some odd way, the intent is document this adventure in a way that favors the comedy movie by that name.  

Drak is like Stiffler, an obnoxious jerk.

Lox Lumly always says stuff like, "One time I stuck my hand in green goo and my pinky fell off."

Nuttin is like Jim's dad, an old guy who thinks still "hip."

And Bryza is like Kevin's Girlfriend, Actractive but Snotty (Sort of like Bryza's brother Drak, only not as abrasive.)

I'm like Jim, the down-trodden hero of the story


----------



## Jettok (Mar 20, 2002)

Thanks for writing up the first part of the second adventure Xaltar. I didn't ask you to but you did a good job. Extra exp. this thursday  .


----------



## med stud (Mar 20, 2002)

Ah, OK. Now I see  

For a second I thought the name was very offensive


----------



## Darklone (Mar 20, 2002)

*Ugh*

Offensive? 

What about American Di(c)e?


----------



## Dr Midnight (Mar 20, 2002)

I just want everyone to know that I did NOT make my character to be like "Jim's dad", and do NOT support the whole American Pie parody thing.


----------



## Drak (Mar 20, 2002)

Whatever... put a sock in it old man before I get physical and have to rough you up.  I don't wanna have hurt and old midget but if you don't shut up its gonna be more than ARTh-RIT-US hurting you...

er.. Whatever.


----------



## Ziona (Mar 20, 2002)

Dr Midnight said:
			
		

> *I just want everyone to know that I did NOT make my character to be like "Jim's dad", and do NOT support the whole American Pie parody thing. *




Well, I didn't make my character to be like the snotty chick from American Pie, but I don't see any harm in the parody. What I've read so far has been pretty amusing, I thought.  You can take care of the serious side of the story with your thread, and Xaltar can do his humorous stuff on this one. No biggie.


----------



## Ziona (Mar 20, 2002)

Xaltar was inspired by Drak's banner to call the story American Die.  He knows that we didn't make our characters to be like the movie, but was just grasping for similarities.


----------

