# Funny spell names



## Pants (Jul 31, 2003)

Anyone have any funny or humorous spell names, real or made up?

Here's a couple:

Bigby's Poking Finger
Bigby's Sweaty Palms
Leomunds Opulent Outhouse
Mordenkainen's Lubrication
Door (Hey, if there's a _Gate_ spell, why isn't there a Door spell?  )

Anyone have any more?


----------



## d4 (Jul 31, 2003)

i've always been a fan of _Bigby's Impudent Finger_.


----------



## Angcuru (Jul 31, 2003)

Red Mage's Summon _Better Twinking in 30 Days, Guaranteed_!

Mordenkaiden's Dysfunction (causes a family to split up)

Tasha's Sweaty Chode(sp?)

Melf's Minute Meatballs


----------



## d4 (Jul 31, 2003)

_Tasha's Hideous Daughter_


----------



## Umbran (Jul 31, 2003)

d4 said:
			
		

> *i've always been a fan of Bigby's Impudent Finger.  *




I've always called that "Bigby's Rude Gesture".


----------



## Crass (Jul 31, 2003)

Spay Living - see 'em squirm after THAT one!
Prestige Dictation - aka Speak With Posh Accent
Inflict ABBA - save or flee from the room...


----------



## Thresher (Jul 31, 2003)

"Quimby's enchanting gourmet" was always my fave from 2E, you could make anyone eat anything and not know about it. Usefull when you had a surplus of 'orc bits' and the paladin was a whuss and wouldnt eat his greens.

"Power Word Castrate" has a distinct 'charm' that would these days probably give you a synergy bonus to intimidate rolls...


----------



## Tabarnak Smokeblower (Jul 31, 2003)

Little crude, but my favorite Bigby spell is Bigby's B****slap.

Mordenkainen's Disco Junction

Detect Self

Detect Afterthoughts

Indivisibility

Lesser Gas

Leomund's unaffordable penthouse suite

Divine Flavor

Endure Excrements

Death Knoll

Make Whale

Animate Dad

etc.

TS


----------



## Tsyr (Jul 31, 2003)

Slay Self (Only used once...)

Kender Summoning, I - IX (Eeep)

Tasha's Uncontrollable Hidious Bladder (Obvious)

Ray of Fosters (Target is sprayed with cold, cheap beer)

Prismatic Vision (Material Component: 1 dose acid)

Bigby's Actual Hand (Bigby's bloody, severed hand appears on the ground in front of you)

Mordenkien's Disfunction (Your party becomes like unto a disfunctional family)

Tragic Missle (Similar to Slay Caster, but of a slightly lower power level)


----------



## 2d6 (Jul 31, 2003)

Crass said:
			
		

> *Spay Living - see 'em squirm after THAT one!
> *




your just wrong


----------



## reddist (Jul 31, 2003)

the _power word_ spells lend themselves to certain abuse...

power word STUPEFY
power word DOH! (The Homer Simpson version of PW duh)
power word GIMME THE TREASURE
power word RUN AWAY!

and it just gets sillier from there...

-Reddist


----------



## Pants (Jul 31, 2003)

Power Word: Sh*t

Protection from Hellmanns (Damn Mayonaisse)

Rary's Mnemonic Depantser (My pants!)

Make Pole

Summon Rules Lawyer I - IX

Mordenkainen's Phallic Symbol

Finger of Beth (Poor Beth  )

Ray of Imbibement


----------



## Aaron L (Jul 31, 2003)

Damn, Detect Self made me laugh for 10 minutes.


----------



## Saeviomagy (Jul 31, 2003)

Detect Tragic

Melfs Flaccid Marrow

Mordenkainens unfaithful wife


----------



## Ed Cha (Jul 31, 2003)

Tunnels & Trolls by far had the funniest spell names:

Take That, You Fiend!

Healing Feeling

Oh, Go Away!

Knock, Knock

Oh, There It Is!


----------



## Larry Fitz (Jul 31, 2003)

Blame Shift

...a mind-bogglingly useful spell.....


----------



## Impeesa (Jul 31, 2003)

Locate Self

Teleport With Error

Baste

Power Word: Flatulence

--Impeesa--


----------



## Aaron L (Jul 31, 2003)

Locate Omelette
See Inevetibility
Horrid Quilting
Tenser's Masturbation (sorry)

My votes go to Detect Self, Locate Self, and Blame Shift.


----------



## Belphanior (Jul 31, 2003)

I've got a printed-out list of about a hundred of these things. I'll type them up and post them when I get home.


Preview (from my faltering memory):

Charm Friends
Explosive Familiar (range: your own familiar)
Darkness, 15 micron radius
Detect Lightning (has a range of 1')
Leomund's Orphan Shelter Home
Otto's Irresistable Disco-Duck
Tenser's Formatted Disk
Wall of Paper
Guess Alignment (from the AD&D2 "Know Alignment")
Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Wife


----------



## gloomymarshes (Jul 31, 2003)

Bigby's furious 4ssgrab

tyreball

summon dumpster I - IX

see visible

detect floor (somatic component: falling)

melf's acrid sparrow

finger of meth (handy for cannibalistic drug addicts though...)

hold dead 

strange (as weird, only without any effects whatsoever)

stonespin (makes one stone spin around for one round)

chaste


----------



## Mark Chance (Jul 31, 2003)

Detect Pairs and Snits: For locating couples who are arguing.

Mordenkainen's Petticoat Junction: Hubba, hubba.

Whap the Pee Pee: 

Elvis's Hunk-a-hunk of Burning Love: Thank ya, thank ya very much.

Tenser's Slipped Disc: Ouch!

Delayed Blast Hairball: ACK! ACK! HORK!

Otto's Irresistible Pants: They're just to die for!

Drawmij's Instant Pudding: Mmmm...pudding.

Leomund's Hairy Chest: And back, too.

Leomund's Homeless Shelter: Includes a soup line and a cot.

Leomund's Tiny Butt: Unfortunately, Otto's Irresistible Pants make this one look big.

Leomund's Speed Trap: Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?

Melf's Acid Trip: Whoa, man, there's like a road map on my hand.

Mind Frog: Good at jumping to conclusions.

Mordenkainen's Liposuction: The less said, the better.

Remove Hair: Counters Leomund's Hairy Chest.

Bigby's Exploring Digit: Material component is a rubber glove.

Summon Muenster: The orange rind _is_ edible.

Summon The Munsters: Complete with cool theme song!

Summon Punster: The lowest form of comedian.

Yes, you all may bow before me now!


----------



## rushlight (Jul 31, 2003)

One of my players is working on a spell to shift blame for anything that should occur to him.  He calls it _Gunther's Irrefutable Alibi_.  

Some of the best actual spell names are in a spell compendium put out by I believe Green Ronin.  They added the spells from Rites and Rituals by WW, but changed the names.  Truly uninspired name changes, like the spell _Flame On_...


----------



## Wippit Guud (Jul 31, 2003)

Detect Life 1/2 - somatic component, place two fingers on target's carotid artery
Neutralize Poison 1/2 - somatic compoent, place index finger down target's throat, only worgs for type ingested poisons
Wish 1/2 - verbal compoment, similar to 'I wish my mother in law would just die'

Forget the rest of the 1/2 spells...

Tasha's Unconrollable Projective Vomiting
Bigby's Bitchslap
Melf's Hour Meteors
Comprehend Politics
Mage Underpants
Dwamarj's Instant Coffee
Cone of Coldsores
Mordenkainen's Pen (it's mightier than his sword)


----------



## Wippit Guud (Jul 31, 2003)

My two favorite Wild mage spells:

Nahal's Reckless DwOHGOODGODHE'SCASTINGIT,DUCK!
Reset Button (name for Alternate Reality)


----------



## Mustrum_Ridcully (Jul 31, 2003)

Detect Fire (Range: Touch)


----------



## Christian (Jul 31, 2003)

Wippit Guud said:
			
		

> *Forget the rest of the 1/2 spells... *




Never!

Summon Monster 1/2
Material component: a big hunk of raw meat and a bag of platinum pieces.
Verbal component: "Oh, what shall I do? I've wandered into this dungeon with this big hunk of meat and a bag of platinum pieces, and I didn't even bring my sword or armor ..."


----------



## Bleys (Jul 31, 2003)

Yacht To the Head (spell created by a player in an Amber game I ran years ago )

And from Munchkin d20 (and I apologize if I got the wrong wording, but you'll get the drift )

Bigby's Unwelcome Touch


----------



## grimslade (Jul 31, 2003)

Behold the bowel shaking power of
             SUMMON EXCREMENTAL!

Can be countered with Leomunds Secure Port-a-John

Grim


----------



## Verdigris (Jul 31, 2003)

These posts are too funny. I'm liable to get fired if I laugh too loudly in the middle of this moldy ol' archive.

Here are my humble contributions:

disrobe undead

tasha's hideous splatter

mage toe

endure Republicans

summon banana peels (I actually used this in place of "Grease")

Nystul's Self-Important Aura

Melf's Acid Wit

Leomond's Flaming Stool (not the kind of stool you'd want to step on)

vibrating beer

summon Linda Tripp

detect easel (a Van Gogh favorite)


----------



## blackshirt5 (Jul 31, 2003)

Calvadien's Vicious Junk Kick


----------



## Pants (Aug 1, 2003)

*Some more...*

Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Watchdog

Protection from Aloes

Fenceform (formerly Fiendform)

Change Into Self

Alter Melf (Poor Melf)

Meat Swarm


----------



## Angcuru (Aug 1, 2003)

blackshirt5 said:
			
		

> *Calvadien's Vicious Junk Kick *



Tak's Super-Duper Fireball of Elf Harming


----------



## LGodamus (Aug 1, 2003)

Saeviomagy said:
			
		

> *Detect Tragic
> 
> Melfs Flaccid Marrow
> 
> Mordenkainens unfaithful wife *




mordenkainen must have been using melfs spell.......


----------



## NoOneofConsequence (Aug 1, 2003)

My favourites have always been:

Transmute Rock to Stone (Reversible)

and

Protection from Elvis


----------



## Crass (Aug 1, 2003)

2d6 said:
			
		

> *
> 
> your just wrong  *




Me? Wrong? NEVER!!!


----------



## Crass (Aug 1, 2003)

Forgot to mention:

Comprehend Oranges - when a druid just needs to know...
Drawmij's Instant Soup - who needs Purify Food and Water?
Elemental Swami - seance, anyone?
Leomund's Swelling Chest - what do you mean, Leonund's a guy?
Magic Circle Against Elvis...
Meteor Swan - take 24d6 featherdancer damage...
Random Faction - only works in politically sensitive locations
Wall of Farce...
Zone of Trout - aka Fisherman's Friend

Cheers,
Crass.


----------



## Stormfalcon (Aug 1, 2003)

Here are my contributions...

Alter Self 1/2 - curses caster so that he/she take alternate form when splashed with cold water, and changes back when splashed with hot water.

Bull's Cunning - gives target all the intelligence of a bull, along with the temperament.  Helps if the caster doesn't wear red.

Bull's Grace - gives target all the dexterity of a bull.  Not to be used in shops with chinaware or glassware.

Charm Self - turns caster into a narcissist (if not already one to begin with).

Create Grateful Undead - summons band of undead bards, along with hordes of groupies and followers.

Evard's Naughty Tentacles - the less said about it on a public forum, the better.

Faerie Pyre - summons group of faeries (size of group depends on caster level), which spontaneously combust.

Flaming Blade - summons a rather colorful (and well-dressed) swordsman.

Flare Clothes - summons clothes from the 70's for everyone in the party.

Forbidden Dance - compels caster to dance in a seductive way.  Reaction of party members and nearby characters and creatures left to other players and DM (as appropriate)

Not-so-helping Hand - creates a phantom hand that leads nearby hostile creatures (usually ones with the highest CR ratings) to the party.

Hide From Self - subjects caster to self-delusion.

Horrid Writing - reduces caster's spellbook to a story worthy of Snoopy's writing abilities (or lack thereof).

Mage Finger - lots of fun at bars...even more so in private!

Repel Party - subjects caster to various foul odors.

Self-righteous Might - subjects caster to self-delusion centering on his or her cause in life.  Rather popular in The Theocracy of the Pale, as well as mysterious organizations such as RIAA and MPAA.

Slay Non-living - kills the dead.  Useless in dealing with undead.

Spike Beverage - lots of fun at parties, particularly ones where alcohol isn't served for one reason or another.

Statute - a mysterious voice recites out loud the laws that the party has broken to date.  Caster level determines how many laws are recited per casting.

Stone Person - subjects target to intoxication.  Caster level determins just how intoxicated the target is.

Suggestion, Bad - compels caster to follow whatever bad suggestion comes to his or her mind.

Telegraph Moves - tells the enemies of a party exactly what moves they'll make against them in advance.  Caster level determines how far in advance enemies are told.

Wall of Jello - summons rectangular block of a sweet and edible gelatinous substance.  Is more often used outside of battle (usually in private) than during it.

Whirlpool - summons one or two men in blue uniforms that have nothing better to do, and just stand around since their battle skills are quite limited.


----------



## Dagger75 (Aug 1, 2003)

Detect Ground- somatic component, Fall flat on your face to the ground

Detect Fire - Range: Touch

Drawmij's Instant Death- Whoever and where ever Drawmij is he dies. No save.  He is getting tired of this spell.

 Those 3 were taken from an old April Fool's issue of Dragon magazine

-Mine- 

Theme Song - A song of your choice plays whenever you enter a room


----------



## Pixie Barbarian (Aug 1, 2003)

Race dead - Outrun corpses

Rainin Carnation - Flowers fall from the sky

True Raise Erection - also known as "Viagra"


----------



## Elemental (Oct 6, 2003)

Cat's Strength

Bigby's 'Peace Out, Y'All' Hand

Mordenkainen's Lubrication (for the squeaky doors)

Cause Moderator Wounds (for use in internet flamewars)


----------

