# Iron DM 2012 -- R2 complete, Finals in Progress



## Nifft (May 15, 2012)

Today is the Ides of May. We all know about the Ides of March, but the other Ides (in May, June and October) are also important, even if nobody has gone down in history for killing a Roman Emperor on them (yet). They probably feel neglected.

So, to honor the Ides of May as they deserve, we will be taking a measure of the interest in a gladiatorial event of brutal wit and wicked creativity: *Iron DM 2012*.

The judges for this tournament shall be:
 *Radiating Gnome*
 *Wicht*
 Yours Truly

My plan is to start formal sign-ups this Saturday at high noon.

*Edit:* What is Iron DM? The founder says it best: 







			
				el-remmen said:
			
		

> Simple. We get 8 people willing to play (and 3 alternates). I pair people off as competitors and give them a set of 6 "ingredients".
> 
> The ingredients are elements that must be used in the designing of a scenario/adventure - which should be written up in overview form - players can be as specific as they like - but detailed stat-blocks and the like are not weighed as heavily as uniqueness and playability of the ideas.
> 
> The results are then judged by me and the winner moves on to the next round. . .



 In this judge's humble opinion -- possibly the _last humble opinion_ he will give in this contest -- it would behoove contestants and prospective contestants to peruse past performances: http://www.enworld.org/forum/general-rpg-discussion/322277-iron-dm-anthology.html

---

*Edit 2*: Sign ups now in progress!

Contestants: 
 *Waylander the Slayer* (reigning champion)
 *Rune* (instigator)
 *Loonook*
 *steeldragons*
 *Lwaxy*
 *Shoe*
 *howandwhy99* -- _maybe?_
 *Deuce Traveler*

Alternates: 
 *ender_wiggin*
 *FickleGM*
 *Imhotepthewise*

*Edit 3:*


Wicht said:


> *The Rules*
> 
> Contestants are to write an adventure synopsis using all of the 6 ingredients listed for the match-up.
> 
> ...




Let me repeat and reinforce: *do NOT edit your post!*


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## Loonook (May 16, 2012)

Wouldn't mind throwing my hat in... But I cannot recall the rules behind the contest.  Could you perhaps post them here?

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Shoe (May 16, 2012)

Loonook said:


> Wouldn't mind throwing my hat in... But I cannot recall the rules behind the contest.  Could you perhaps post them here?
> 
> Slainte,
> 
> -Loonook.




Ditto


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## Piratecat (May 16, 2012)

I will watch eagerly and happily kibitz.


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## Nifft (May 16, 2012)

Loonook said:


> Wouldn't mind throwing my hat in... But I cannot recall the rules behind the contest.  Could you perhaps post them here?



 Of course! I've added a summary and some links (for examples) to the top post.

Cheers, -- N


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## Rune (May 16, 2012)

_About time!_

I've been looking to play in another Iron DM tourney for almost a decade.  It's time to skool some youngsters on how we did it back in the day!

...Only, uh...Saturday at noon I'll be at work (and I actually have to work while I'm at work--so no internet for me!).

I hope the slots don't fill up as fast as they used to!


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## Loonook (May 16, 2012)

After reading... Count me in if you're up for taking me .

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## ender_wiggin (May 16, 2012)

I'm in. Played in one a few years ago and it was pretty awesome.


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## Rune (May 16, 2012)

Also, Nifft, in case you want to give him an automatic entry into the tournament, [MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION] is the reigning Iron DM.


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## Shoe (May 16, 2012)

Sounds like a TON of fun, I'm in.  Question tho...do we have to use a specific setting (assuming that isn't one of the ingredients) ?


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## Radiating Gnome (May 16, 2012)

The rules do not dictate setting or game system; and, in the end, they shouldn't matter. You won't earn bonus points for including moster stat blocks or starship deck plans -- what matters is the essential qualities of the entry -- the creative use of ingredients, playability, creativity, with a thick creamy dollop of Rat Bastard Gravy[tm] on top. 

-rg


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## Deuce Traveler (May 16, 2012)

Is there a typical size limit in such contests, such as a word count or room limit?


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## Radiating Gnome (May 16, 2012)

The most important limit is the time limit -- historically the limit is 24 or 48 hours.  In some past contests there has been a word count limit (2000 words, if there is one). 

This contest's rules are being nailed down by the judges, and I'm sure we'll post an official set soon, but those are what's fairly typical. 

I'd echo Nifft's recommendation to take a look at the Anthology -- thinking in terms of "room count" don't end up making a whole lot of sense because the entries rarely dive down to a room-by-room level of detail. 

-rg


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## Rune (May 16, 2012)

It's also worth pointing out that the selections in the http://www.enworld.org/forum/general-rpg-discussion/322277-iron-dm-anthology.html]Iron DM Anthology were not made with an eye toward what makes a good entry for the tournament, but, rather, for what makes a good entry for use in your games.  

That being the case, _not all of the selections were winning entries_ and fellow participants are cautioned against using them as specific models for winning.

Contestants may find a perusal of some of the _actual_ tournaments (including commentary and judgements!) to be more informative (and/or entertaining) in this regard.

These are all of the surviving EN World Tournaments:

Iron DM Spring 2002

Iron DM Fall 2002

Iron DM Winter (Holiday) 2002

Iron DM Winter 2003

Iron DM Summer 2003

Iron DM Fall 2003

Iron DM Winter 2004

Iron DM Spring 2004

Iron DM 2005

Iron DM 2009

Iron DM 2010 Discussion Thread

Iron DM 2010 Submissions & Judgements

Iron DM 2011


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## Nifft (May 16, 2012)

Rune said:


> ...Only, uh...Saturday at noon I'll be at work (and I actually have to work while I'm at work--so no internet for me!).
> 
> I hope the slots don't fill up as fast as they used to!






Rune said:


> Also, Nifft, in case you want to give him an automatic entry into the tournament, [MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION] is the reigning Iron DM.




I have no problem being arbitrary and patently unfair by holding aside two slots for *Rune* (who helped organize this in secret) and *Waylander the Slayer* (should interest be indicated).

Everyone else, be on your toes for Saturday noon (specifically noon in New York City, which is US Eastern Time).

Cheers, -- N


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## Deuce Traveler (May 17, 2012)

Hmmm... alright, count me in.


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## humble minion (May 17, 2012)

I thoroughly recommend to nyone who might be sitting the fence - give it a go.

I've competed twice (and been unceremoniously turfed outin the first round both times) but won't be able to find the time this time round, it's a real mental muscle-stretcher though, and great fun.

best of luck to all competitors.


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## FickleGM (May 17, 2012)

Ooh, I'll likely be in a casino at that time, but if I remember and have any data service, I'll see if I'm quick enough to get in on this...if not, I'll spectate and enjoy.


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## Wicht (May 17, 2012)

humble minion said:


> I thoroughly recommend to nyone who might be sitting the fence - give it a go.




Yes indeed.


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## steeldragons (May 17, 2012)

What the hay...just finished judging the Ceramic DM contest. Wouldn't mind flexing my own creative juices (adventure-creating wise as opposed to jsut writing-creative) for a spell.

I'll make sure to pop in on Sat. noon, too, to confirm. But for now, count me in as a contestant.

--Steel Dragons


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## Daeja (May 17, 2012)

I'll definitely be reading and cheering along


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## Nifft (May 18, 2012)

humble minion said:


> I've competed twice (and been unceremoniously turfed outin the first round both times) but won't be able to find the time this time round, it's a real mental muscle-stretcher though, and great fun.



 To my recollection you were quite competitive.

Cheers! -- N


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## Waylander the Slayer (May 19, 2012)

Bring it.


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## Nifft (May 19, 2012)

Tee minus two hours forty-five minutes until *it is brought*.


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## steeldragons (May 19, 2012)

Sorry t'be a bit tairdy to the pairdy...but here, confirming anyway.

Look forward to that posting of the "official [this time around]" rules and scheduling and such.

-SD


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## Loonook (May 19, 2012)

I am in... 12:00 PM Eastern Time... Let us get this going .

Slainte,

-Loonook.

Oh boo  System clock is off by more than 35 Seconds?


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## Nifft (May 19, 2012)

Sign ups begin here.

Post now and claim your place!

We need six more contestants, and three alternates. (I don't have stats on precisely how often alternates get used, but I've seen it happen twice.)

Best of luck, -- N


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## Loonook (May 19, 2012)

Here  Stupid forum clock having the wrong times .

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Wicht (May 19, 2012)

Good luck to everyone who signs up!


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## steeldragons (May 19, 2012)

Here also...again...also.


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## Rune (May 19, 2012)

Let's _do_ this!

Time to _skool_ some youngsters on how we did it back in the day!


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## Lwaxy (May 19, 2012)

Here! Me! 

Probably not standing a chance but hey!


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## Waylander the Slayer (May 20, 2012)

Rune said:


> Let's _do_ this!
> 
> Time to _skool_ some youngsters on how we did it back in the day!




Let's see what you've got old man....wait, I am pretty damn old


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## Rune (May 20, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer said:


> ....wait, I am pretty damn old




We ain't talkin' 'bout your material, here.  

_My_ skills have only improved in the decade since I last wore the title.  Hope _your_ skills haven't gotten _too_ rusty over the past year!


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## Shoe (May 20, 2012)

how come im not in the list of contestants?


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## howandwhy99 (May 20, 2012)

I would like to volunteer as an alternate, but only behind Ender, Deuce, and Fickle if they don't get in on time. They posted earlier and I've mucked my way through a few times already.


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## Nifft (May 20, 2012)

Shoe said:


> how come im not in the list of contestants?



 This is your first post since sign-ups started, which was yesterday at noon. I'm going to assume that you wish to sign up now. 



howandwhy99 said:


> I would like to volunteer as an alternate, but only behind Ender, Deuce, and Fickle if they don't get in on time. They posted earlier and I've mucked my way through a few times already.



 If you want to defer to someone in the Alternates slots, that's certainly possible, but only if you claim a place in the main game now. Are you in?

Cheers, -- N


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## Rune (May 20, 2012)

Shoe said:


> how come im not in the list of contestants?




In Nifft's original post, he said that he would open the sign-up at Noon, Saturday (your posts preceded this).

This is a throwback to the old days--slots would fill so quickly that the only way to make sure that everyone had a chance to be online at the right time was to announce the sign-up in advance.  Judging from the interest generated so far, this is a pretty good idea (also, it's good practice in discipline for the contestants--which they'll need, if they want to win, believe me!).

That said, if _I_ were a judge, I'd definitely count your last post as a sign-in.

Edit = Ninja'd by Nifft!


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## Rune (May 20, 2012)

howandwhy99 said:


> I would like to volunteer as an alternate, but only behind Ender, Deuce, and Fickle if they don't get in on time. They posted earlier and I've mucked my way through a few times already.




You had a _fine_ showing in the last tournament.


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## howandwhy99 (May 20, 2012)

Nifft said:


> If you want to defer to someone in the Alternates slots, that's certainly possible, but only if you claim a place in the main game now. Are you in?



cool cool cool. I'll defer to those three.



Rune said:


> You had a _fine_ showing in the last tournament.



Thanks. I had fun too, but I like to see fresh blood in the water


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## Waylander the Slayer (May 20, 2012)

Rune said:


> We ain't talkin' 'bout your material, here.
> 
> _My_ skills have only improved in the decade since I last wore the title.  Hope _your_ skills haven't gotten _too_ rusty over the past year!




Just like TO.


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## Deuce Traveler (May 20, 2012)

I would also like to sign up.


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## Nifft (May 20, 2012)

Deuce Traveler said:


> I would also like to sign up.



 You are in.

- - -

Now we just need three Alternates, and we're ready to go!

Cheers, -- N


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## Rune (May 20, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer said:


> Just like TO.




Here's a special set of ingredients for you:

*young man's game
inexperience
lucky break
in over head
money where mouth is
bark with no bite*


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## Shoe (May 20, 2012)

Nifft said:


> This is your first post since sign-ups started, which was yesterday at noon. I'm going to assume that you wish to sign up now.
> 
> N




Ahh, I misread


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## ender_wiggin (May 22, 2012)

I will sign up as an alternate. I suppose that's just as well with my chaotic schedule.


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## Wicht (May 22, 2012)

Any additional alternates?


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## Nifft (May 23, 2012)

I'm thinking that one alternate is probably enough to get us through the first couple of matches, and hopefully by then we'll attract another alternate or two.

So, we're probably good to get going on at least the first match.


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## Rune (May 24, 2012)

Nifft said:


> I'm thinking that one alternate is probably enough to get us through the first couple of matches, and hopefully by then we'll attract another alternate or two.
> 
> So, we're probably good to get going on at least the first match.




Ha!  good luck with _that_ on the eve of the 5e playtest!

Seriously, though, much as I didn't want to be in the first match, I _am_ ready.  I'm good with a start time of 9 PM EST most nights (can't work on it at work, you know).  Or I could go _right now_, if anyone wants to take me on.

It would be good to know the tournament rules, however.


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## Deuce Traveler (May 24, 2012)

Rune said:


> It would be good to know the tournament rules, however.




First rule of Iron DM, you don't talk about Iron DM.

Couldn't resist...


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## Wicht (May 24, 2012)

We should have the rules posted here in short order, we're just waiting on one more judge to okay them. In the meantime, Rune says he is available? Anyone else good to go this evening?


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## Deuce Traveler (May 24, 2012)

I have family coming in this Memorial Day weekend, so I best volunteer now as tonight is the only time I'll have free for writing.  I volunteer to take on Rune.  Bring it.


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## Rune (May 24, 2012)

Deuce Traveler said:


> I have family coming in this Memorial Day weekend, so I best volunteer now as tonight is the only time I'll have free for writing.  I volunteer to take on Rune.  Bring it.




_Eh_-xcellent!


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## Wicht (May 24, 2012)

Rune vs. Deuce Traveler it will be.


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## Wicht (May 24, 2012)

*The Rules*

Contestants are to write an adventure synopsis using all of the 6 ingredients listed for the match-up.

*Time-Limit:*

Contestants will be given 48 hours from the time the ingredients are posted to post their entry into this thread.

Judges have leeway to enforce this rule as loosely as they want (in conjunction with agreement by the other contestant) if an entry is late, but some (if not all) judges feel strongly about the importance of the time limit--and may disqualify a late entry automatically. A better tactic, if you are not quite finished, would be to post what you have. Incomplete or unpolished entries have won in the past.

Entrants are expected not to read another contestant's entry in the same match until after their own entry is posted. You are on your honor to do so.

*Format:*

Please list the ingredients used at the top of your entry.

Please limit your entry to 2000 words, including those used for the ingredient list and the title! Judges have leeway to enforce this as strictly as they want--some may, some may not.

Please do not edit your post! Judges have leeway to enforce this as strictly as they want--but I warn you...for those judges who care about this, it is a big deal. Break this rule at your own peril!

*Content:*

Use whatever rules you want; or stay system-neutral. Extensive use of stat-blocks is both a waste of time and space and, even in the form of attachments, may be ignored by the judge(s). You are advised only to include important system-information. That said, assumptions of familiarity with a system may be detrimental, as well. Make sure that you include enough details to explain things that ought to be explained.

Use any genre you want. Just make sure you explain anything you need to.

Including links to outside information as a source of background for your own entry is a cheap trick. The links may be useful for the casual reader and will, therefore, not be forbidden, but the use of these links is not going to be considered part of the submission for purposes of judgement--and will not be followed during judgement.

*Judges:*

Each of the first-round matches will have a single judge (determined randomly). One judge will be assigned two matches; two judges will be assigned one each (again, randomly).

In subsequent rounds, matches will be judged by the full panel of judges. There will be a two third-round matches--one to determine a third-place contestant and one, of course, to determine the second place contestant and the IRON DM 2012.


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## Rune (May 24, 2012)

Wicht said:


> Contestants will be given 48 hours from the time the ingredients are posted to post their entry into this thread.




48 hours, eh?  Seems like a lot...


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## Wicht (May 24, 2012)

The rules say the judges are supposed to be determined randomly. But as the other judges do not seem to be around to stop me  and as I think we should get this underway, I am going to volunteer as *Judge* for the first match. I will post six ingredients at 6 pm (about 30 minutes from now) for our first round. If either contestant would prefer a randomly selected judge, you can say so (it won't hurt my feelings), and while you work on the ingredients provided, we will determine who judges. Otherwise I will assume that I am the judge for this first round.


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## Radiating Gnome (May 24, 2012)

I'm around, but happy to let you take the first match -- I'll start a second round tomorrow.


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## Wicht (May 24, 2012)

Rune said:


> 48 hours, eh?  Seems like a lot...




I have absolutely nothing against the contestants following a self-imposed 24 hour limit.


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## Rune (May 24, 2012)

Wicht said:


> The rules say the judges are supposed to be determined randomly. But as the other judges do not seem to be around to stop me  and as I think we should get this underway, I am going to volunteer as *Judge* for the first match. I will post six ingredients at 6 pm (about 30 minutes from now) for our first round. If either contestant would prefer a randomly selected judge, you can say so (it won't hurt my feelings), and while you work on the ingredients provided, we will determine who judges. Otherwise I will assume that I am the judge for this first round.




I've no problem with you as a judge, but I _would_ prefer a 9 PM start time if the match is 48 hours, instead of 24.  I mean, I'll manage if I don't get it, but that three hour difference basically cuts a day off of the time I'll have to work on it.

--Also, is this the thread we'll be posting our entries in?


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## Wicht (May 24, 2012)

*Iron DM 2012: Round 1 - Rune vs. Deuce Traveler*

Your ingredients are:
Tattered Rug
Pitiful Baker
The Maimed Hand of Vengeance
Gothic Reunion
Cheerful Cellar
Itinerant Cleric

You have until 9:00 p.m. on Saturday, May 26 to produce your adventure. 

Edit: I can't post at 9, but in consideration of your request, I'll give you the three hour leeway this time around.


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## Rune (May 24, 2012)

Wicht said:


> *Iron DM 2012: Round 1 - Rune vs. Deuce Traveler*
> 
> Your ingredients are:
> Tattered Rug
> ...




Cool.  And just to clarify, that's 9 EST, right?


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## Wicht (May 24, 2012)

yes


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## FickleGM (May 25, 2012)

I had no way to sign up last Saturday, but, if you want another alt, sign me up.


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## Nifft (May 25, 2012)

FickleGM said:


> I had no way to sign up last Saturday, but, if you want another alt, sign me up.



 Excellent.


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## howandwhy99 (May 25, 2012)

I'll gladly pass on my spot to one of those two alts whom I said I'd, you know, pass on my spot to.

(The ingredients look just terrifying for 1st round  )


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## Radiating Gnome (May 25, 2012)

Are there two entrants available for a start today? Perhaps a 4pm Eastern start?  I've got a stack of ingredients burning a hole in my pocket....

-rg


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## ender_wiggin (May 25, 2012)

I'd be happy to jump in if howandwhy really wants to defer, and I can be ready this afternoon. Thanks for the opportunity and feel free to change your mind until I actually go.


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## Deuce Traveler (May 25, 2012)

Rune, I am now finished and checking over my work.  If you wish to quit now, I'll understand.


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## Radiating Gnome (May 25, 2012)

ender_wiggin said:


> I'd be happy to jump in if howandwhy really wants to defer, and I can be ready this afternoon. Thanks for the opportunity and feel free to change your mind until I actually go.




We can assume that howandwhy wouldn't have offered if he didn't mean it -- so lets run with Ender-wiggin as a contestant -- I need one more entrant to step forward for an afternoon start today -- who else wishes to test their mettle?


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## Rune (May 25, 2012)

Deuce Traveler said:


> Rune, I am now finished and checking over my work.  If you wish to quit now, I'll understand.




If you are implying that my morning would have been better spent working on my entry, rather than reading the playtest material that I could not download yesterday...I have no fear.


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## Deuce Traveler (May 25, 2012)

Rune said:


> If you are implying that my morning would have been better spent working on my entry, rather than reading the playtest material that I could not download yesterday...I have no fear.




Perhaps there is a certain opponent of yours that might have been able to download such playtest material and would be willing to share with the right incentive... ahem...


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## Rune (May 25, 2012)

Deuce Traveler said:


> Perhaps there is a certain opponent of yours that might have been able to download such playtest material and would be willing to share with the right incentive... ahem...




Too late!  I already downloaded it this morning...and, consequently, said morning has already been spent.

Still, I have no fear.  It's all coming together, now...


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## Wicht (May 25, 2012)

Rune said:


> --Also, is this the thread we'll be posting our entries in?




Meant to answer this yesterday but lag made me forget...

I believe that, yes, we decided to just keep the contest in General this year.


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## Deuce Traveler (May 25, 2012)

Rune said:


> Too late!  I already downloaded it this morning...and, consequently, said morning has already been spent.
> 
> Still, I have no fear.  It's all coming together, now...




I'm going to sit on mine for one more day, then reread it before posting.  A better chance to find errors.


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## Rune (May 25, 2012)

Wicht said:


> Meant to answer this yesterday but lag made me forget...
> 
> I believe that, yes, we decided to just keep the contest in General this year.




In that case (and I'm sure you all are already planning on doing this--as it's been done in tournaments before), I suggest the first post of this thread contain links to all entries and judgements.  Otherwise, it will be difficult for folk to find them without going over every post sequentially.


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## Imhotepthewise (May 26, 2012)

If you are still looking for an alternate, I would like to be it.


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## steeldragons (May 26, 2012)

[MENTION=150]Radiating Gnome[/MENTION], if you are still looking for a second contestant for the second match of round 1, I am available. 4pm (now on Sat. instead of Fri) is fine, if you prefer. 

Just FYI for all judges, I am 6 hours ahead of EST. So that'd be 10pm my time. But with 48 hours to work with, I should be fine. 

If you want to start any time earlier today (Sat.) that's fine with me too. Should be around/free most of the day.

Looking forward to it. Should be fun.
--Steel Dragons


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## Radiating Gnome (May 26, 2012)

steeldragons said:


> Just FYI for all judges, I am 6 hours ahead of EST. So that'd be 10pm my time. But with 48 hours to work with, I should be fine.




That's one of the reasons I like the 48 clock rather than 24 hours -- fits widely varied time zones better.

[MENTION=21629]ender_wiggin[/MENTION], are you available for a match that would start today? Say at about 1 pm Eastern ?

-rg


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## ender_wiggin (May 26, 2012)

Yep. Let's do it.


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## Nifft (May 26, 2012)

Imhotepthewise said:


> If you are still looking for an alternate, I would like to be it.



 You are in.


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## ender_wiggin (May 26, 2012)

Refreshing party.


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## Radiating Gnome (May 26, 2012)

Sorry, I got called away. Will post ingredients directly


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## Radiating Gnome (May 26, 2012)

*Round 1, Match 2: [MENTION=21629]ender_wiggin[/MENTION] vs. [MENTION=92511]steeldragons[/MENTION]*

Ingredients: 

crippled minotaur
Rock city
unfortunate smuggler
misplaced desire
tower shield
staff of storms

48 Hour clock starts now... you have until 1:21 PM Eastern on Monday. 

-rg


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## ender_wiggin (May 26, 2012)

gl hf steeldragons.


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## Shoe (May 26, 2012)

If a match starts up tuesday or after I am ready!


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## Lwaxy (May 26, 2012)

Yeah gl to both of you 

Tuesday or after would work for me.


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## Deuce Traveler (May 26, 2012)

Round 1: Deuce Traveler vs Rune

Name: Danse Macabre

Author: Deuce Traveler

Danse Macabre

Game Engine: Meant for DnD 3.5 or Pathfinder

Ingredients
*Tattered Rug*: The rug is  an ancient artifact necessary for summoning dance rituals of the undead and belongs to the Watchful Eyes over Zargon.  It is currently being used by the baker as a rug in his room.

*Pitiful Baker*: He and some fellow brigands murdered the cleric and his acolytes in their sleep.  The mining town of Lago is too small for a dedicated inn, so the baker has created lodgings in the giant downstairs cellar.

*Itinerant Cleric*: Was supposed to complete the Gothic Reunion ritual.  Was placed in baker’s stew meant for sheriff’s hounds.  Hand is all that is left.  

*Cheerful Cellar*: Downstairs lodging area where parties are held in Largo.  Cleric’s group was killed in adjoining rooms.

*Maimed Hand of Vengeance*: A hand from the cleric’s body which animated and escaped the pitiful baker’s grinders.  Seeks revenge on the town.

*Gothic Reunion*: The name of the Watchful Eyes ceremonial Danse Macabre.

The party is approached by the _Watchful Eyes over Zargon_.  It seems that an *Itinerant Cleric*, his acolytes, and their *tattered rug* artifact that they traveled with had all been lost while traveling for a mission outside of the distant mining town of Lago.  The contact explains that the cleric was to use the artifact to complete an important ceremony during the night of the new moon in the cemetery of an abandoned monastery outside of Lago, and that a failure to do so will spell disaster for the people of Lago and the surrounding area.  He will pay the party to ensure that the ceremony is completed.  Bonus pay will be offered for the return of the *tattered rug* artifact, the saving of Lago, and the safe return of the cleric and his four acolytes.

A moderate Religion check reveals that the Watchful Eyes of Zargon is a legal religious order, historically distrusted because of its members’ tendency to dance in graveyards and their frequent communions with the dead.

A hard Religion check will also reveal that the members are dedicated, though few in numbers.  Zargon is a soul-swallowing deity of abominations and evil spirits.  The Watchful Eyes are not worshippers of Zargon, but instead are dedicated to stopping his corruption and his attempted return through the use of the dead.

The PCs should arrive at the town of Lago two calendar days before the night of the new moon.  Of course the PCs may find a clever way to arrive earlier.  It should be noted that many in the town of Lago will radiate as evil, such as the sheriff and his six deputies, the *pitiful baker* along with his son and two barmaids, and the owner of the general store.  Being evil is not a crime, and the party should realize that these are the town leaders and pass for the law in the area.  The town leaders are actually brigands that took over years ago, and the few decent people who resisted were made examples, along with their families.  A moderate Sense Motive check will tell the party that the townsfolk are eager to be done with any conversation and are choosing their words very carefully.  The other townsfolk live in fear of the brigands and will be wary of what they tell the adventurers.

The sheriff and deputies would like to speak with the characters, but the exhausted, *pitiful baker* is eager to approach them first, to the chagrin of the sheriff.  The baker wants to sell his poorly made meat pies, and offers the group rooms at his downstairs establishment, the Cheerful Cellar, where he makes his pies and bread.  He admits being a lousy salesman and being desperate for coin.

Everyone in town will claim that they have not seen the *iterant cleric’s* group, though a moderate Sense Motive check will show that this is a lie.  The sheriff and his deputies are very much on edge and insistent that the party move on and investigate elsewhere.

There are other indications that something in the town is not right.  A moderate Knowledge Ride or Handle Animal or Nature check on the sheriff’s horses reveals that some of the horses are not native to the area, and instead seem to come from a number of places (they are from previously murdered travelers).

A moderate appraise or craft check will show that some of the goods being sold at the general store are second hand goods with labels and other identifying marks removed.  A few also seem a bit expensive for such a backwater town (also from previous travelers).  A moderate religion check will allow a character to notice the *iterant cleric’s* holy symbol on sale as cheap jewelry.

If any of the PCs eats a meat pie from the *pitiful baker* while in public they should make a moderate Perception check.  A successful roll results in the PC noticing a handful of townsfolk stopping to watch.  A further successful moderate Sense Motive check will reveal that the watching townsfolk are attempting to conceal expressions of horror.  An examination of the meat pies will reveal nothing unusual.

If for any reason the party brings accusations of criminality to the sheriff along with solid evidence, he will arrest the suspect in lieu of a trial (that will never occur) and thank the party.  Then he makes plans with the other former brigands to kill off the heroes before they can discover more about the town.  If the party tries to take justice into their own hands, the sheriff will intervene if able and remind the heroes that there is a legal system and vigilantism is a punishable offense.

If the heroes stay at the Cheerful Cellar inn, they are welcomed by the *pitiful baker* and his son.  Although the heroes are the only guests, there is a festive atmosphere as the baker and son bring a timid minstrel to play music for them, and the two men ply the group with heavily discounted ale, give free food and ask the heroes to tell tales of their bravery.  Their two luscious barmaids flirt heavily and dance for those in the group who show interest, also challenging them to down drink.  If the party focuses on the minstrel and makes a hard Perception check, they will notice that he seems scared and misses a few notes.  If there is a bard in the group, he may make a moderate local or nobility check to recognize that the protagonist of the bard’s songs, Lord Magoo, is an elderly aristocrat who is often oblivious of the danger and dastardly nature of those around him and only seems to survive his encounters through luck.  When the festivities are over, the group is offered single rooms with small, comfortable beds adjacent to the Cheerful Cellar.

The Cheerful Cellar inn and its adjoining rooms have been reconstructed to include secret passages which can be found with moderate Perception checks against the walls.  The upstairs section of the building is where the baker and his son sleep, as well as the store front for his goods which rarely sell.  The *pitiful baker* has been unable to get any of the townsfolk to purchase his foods as they wrongly suspect he has turned travelers into meat pies, nor will they go to his cellar inn for drink.  In actuality, the baker has been turning his victims into dog food and feeding them to the sheriff’s large hounds in order to destroy evidence of their prior presence.  The baker is unaware that one of the chopped pieces of the *itinerant cleric* (the maimed remnants of a hand) became animated and escaped his grinder in order to enact vengeance, due to Zargon’s growing influence enhanced by the town’s recent murders.

The tired, impoverished baker has been killing off travelers more frequently, and selling their gear off through the black market run by the general store clerk in an attempt to make coin.  He plans to murder and rob the party, but first decides to take a quick nap and asks one of his accomplices to wake him late at night when their guests will be in deep sleep.

If the party catches and threatens a former brigand without interference from the brigand’s allies, the truth about the town and the ultimate grim fate of the cleric, his acolytes and previous travelers will come to light.  The sheriff has the *iterant cleric’s* horses, the baker has the *tattered rug*, and the general store owner has a religious tome and other goods.  The brigands have been on edge, as three of their number have recently been found strangled in their sleep and the *pitiful baker* is having nightmares and has been hearing strange noises outside his bedroom door at night, but the exhausted man can’t find the cause.

During the first night that the party arrives, the *pitiful baker* is strangled to death, causing one of his murderous barmaids to scream when she goes to wake him and finds his body.  The general store owner is also found murdered.  If the party was suspicious and decided to stake out the outside of the general store or baker’s store/inn, a hard Perception check would allow them to notice a small crawling hand unlock and enter each of the respective bedrooms from the outside, and then leap out to land into nearby brush and disappear.  If the PCs investigate the bedrooms, they will find the *tattered rug* on the floor in the baker’s bedroom and the religious tome on a table next to the general store owner’s bed.  If the baker or general store owner are in prison, the *Maimed Hand of Vengeance* will go through the bars and kill them there instead.

At this point the sheriff will continue to declare innocence, though he will allow the party to continue their investigation as he fears for his own life and hopes the party might stop the *Maimed Hand of Vengeance* from killing again.  The religious tome details instructions on the danse macabre called the *Gothic Reunion*, a cemetery summoning causing the restless dead to rise at the command of the dancer.  Zargon finds locations where evil men have been buried en masse or innocents brutally murdered.  The restlessness of such souls draws him, allowing him to claim such spirits as his own to feast upon and their bodies to control.  Zargon uses the dead to kill others, which grows his influence in the hopes of laying claim to the world.  The *Gothic Reunion* siphons his influence from the bodies of the dead, until it is exhausted, rendering the dead inert and Zargon’s tether broken.  The *tattered rug* is used as the summoner’s focus and must be brought to the center of the cemetery.  It weighs over a hundred pounds and is seven feet long when rolled up, so one person cannot carry it a significant distance because of its bulk.  The cemetery is an hour’s walk from Lago.

A massive battle occurred centuries ago where thousands of soldiers from the evil and forgotten Lunien Empire were trapped and slaughtered.  A group of well meaning monks buried the thousands of dead and built a monastery here.  Once at the cemetery, the characters will find that some of the skeletal dead have risen thanks to Zargon’s influence.  There are a handful of armored skeletal warriors wielding rusting weapons as well as an armored knight on skeletal horseback, making for a hard encounter.

Once the threat is dealt with, the character who will be performing the summoning ritual needs to unfurl the *tattered rug* in the middle of the cemetery (general approximation is necessary), strip down and paint himself as a skeleton to fool the undead (unnecessary, but kept in the tome for rituals sake), and attempt to perform the *Gothic Reunion* with a successful Hard Perform check.  Failure results in Zargon expending some of his power to send another moderately difficult wave of skeletal undead at the party, but the party can try again.  Success results in the unusual sight of all the nearby dead rising from their graves and mimicking the summoner’s dance for ten minutes.  After these ten minutes, Zargon’s influence will be broken and the exhausted dead will lay back down to rest in peace.  The *Maimed Hand of Vengeance* won’t kill again.

The sheriff and his men will be waiting in ambush for the party outside of the cemetery.  The party has seen too much and cannot be allowed to escape.  A hard battle should ensue, but if the party is victorious the remaining brigands will flee and the cowardly townsfolk will welcome them as saviors and regale them with tales of the brigand’s wickedness.

The party could be delayed in a number of ways from solving the quest in time.  If so, the army of the dead will rise and descend upon Lago, indiscriminately attacking civilians, heroes and brigands while the hand continues to kill those asleep.


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## Rune (May 26, 2012)

*Round 1, Match 1:  Rune vs. Deuce Traveler*

*Ingredients:

Tattered Rug
Pitiful Baker
The Maimed Hand of Vengeance
Gothic Reunion
Cheerful Cellar
Itinerant Cleric*

*Vengeance and Pity*

*Using This Adventure:*

This adventure is designed for use with D&D 4th edition rules and specifically makes use of the _Monster Vault_, but is intended to be very close to system neutral.  It should be challenging for a party of low level (3-5, or so).  It is possible to run this adventure without any combat, but the potential exists for quite a bit of it.

This adventure further assumes the use of the “Points of Light” setting implied in the 4th edition, but should be easily transportable to any frontier location—particularly if that setting includes either a collapsed empire, or such an empire in decline.

*Synopsis:*

The PCs are asked by a cleric of Erathis to prevent an impending reunification of a barbarian tribe.  The barbarians intend to take back the lost members of their tribe and to reclaim a scion lost to them, by force, if necessary.  At the center of it all, a moral man has his own agenda...

*Hooks:*

If the PCs have any business in the frontier or wilderness, it should be simple for them to come across an itinerant cleric of Erathis named Pax Erath, or to hear rumors that he desperately seeks adventurers to aid him in a matter of pressing importance—and will reward them accordingly for seeking him out.

Alternatively, if the PCs find themselves in a temple of Erathis (not unlikely on the Frontier!), they could be asked to seek out one of their wandering ministers, from whom they have received word of a vital mission which cannot be undertaken alone.  Thus far, none of the clerics sent to aid him have been able to do so.

The DM is encouraged to use this as a further hook—the reason could be as simple as this: Pax is in dangerous territory, and the barbaric tribes of the area may have driven off or killed the clerics of Erathis, ere they could succeed in finding him.

*Wandering*

Pax's work has taken him well into the wilderness beyond the Frontier.  With a little legwork, the PCs      should find him with no problems—Nature, Perception, and Streetwise (for tracking down and sifting through rumors in the towns he has traveled through) should all be useful in the search.

Along the way, the PCs may encounter beasts of the wilderness (see “Appendix: Animals” in the Monster Vault, pages 296-304), as well as small war-bands of barbaric orcs (MV 224-229) of the Goth tribe, from whom the PCs may learn that some great battle is imminent.

Once the PCs find Pax, he will begin to explain things (preferably through conversation):


Decades ago, a tribe of barbaric orcs (the Goths) allowed Pax to travel with them as a missionary in exchange for his services as a healer.


Pax wed the tribe's spiritual leader to a civilized (human) woman and a wondrous thing happened (praise Erathis!).  A goodly number of the Goths split from their tribe and settled down to start a new civilization of their own!


Pax has recently learned that the Goths are on the move again and intend to sweep down upon their former brethren and reunify them.  This must not happen!

If the PCs will help him to stop this barbaric reunion, they will have his friendship and, once he has returned to Temple, wealth worthy of such action (which should be reasonably generous for the PCs' level).  To do this, Pax believes they will first need to seek out the spiritual leader around whom the whole rift was centered.

Unless they have a more important use for him, Pax will accompany the PCs; his faith demands that he help others.  Pax is a level 6ish Cleric, but will spend most of his time either healing or aiding the actions of others and, so, need not be fully fleshed out.

*New Erath*

The city, such as it is, was an outpost of the Empire of Nerath, sacked long ago by the Goths of the day.  It is now home to a handful of former Goths, who renamed it New Erath.  It is a vast landscape of towering ornate architecture, impressive in its grandeur, but now decayed and lonely—hollow.

Pax can lead the PCs to their destination if he is with them, or can give them sufficient instruction to find it themselves.  It is...a bakery.

Within this bakery within the looming city of gloom, a one-handed orc whistles cheerfully as he works.  He is immediately friendly and will readily welcome the PCs to stay for some of his fresh-baked delights (“Food is Love!” he enthusiastically tells them in common—with only the slightest hint of an orcish accent) before ushering them to a more comfortable locale...

“Welcome my cellar!  I give of it cheerfully!”  The cellar was sanctified by Pax many years ago and serves as a shelter from the gloom, above.  It is brightly lit and cozy.  Anyone taking refuge here for even a few minutes will be fully refreshed (hit points and healing surges, as if from an extended rest).  Furthermore, any baked goods produced from the stores here (including those the PCs may already have consumed) will act as healing potions for the few days that they remain good.

Unless he thinks the PCs a threat to his community, the baker will be perfectly willing to impart any information regarding his background and that of the Goths.


His name, now, is Confrere, though once he wore a more dire moniker—The Hand of Vengeance.


The Hand of Vengeance is a position that one Goth per generation is reincarnated into.  The Hand is a spiritual leader of the Goths.


If asked why he has only one hand, he will soberly say, “Is it not better, then, to cut off thine own hand, than to use it in base vengeance?”  Pax, if present, nods at this; he is familiar with the scripture.


If asked what reason he has for vengeance, Confrere will fall silent, but Pax will answer: “Alas, the Goths slew his wife shortly after the wedding and consumed her body with flames, such that it could never be raised.  Confrere may not have the heart for vengeance, but if ever a man had the cause, it is he.”


When (and if) Pax informs Confrere that he believes the Goths are coming to undo all of Pax's accomplishments (and, oh, by the way, also kill Confrere), Confrere only smiles and says, “It is about time.”


If asked what he intends to do to exact vengeance for his wife's death (by Pax, if not the PCs), Confrere responds, “I cannot.  I am filled with pity for them; they are lost, no place of solace, no vision of a higher path.  There way is violence and vengeance, but there is a better way.  _Compassion_ is the way—and this, I will show them.”  The baker is confident and self-possessed, but is, indeed, pitiful—in the most fundamental meaning of the word.

It is his plan to invite the Goth Chieftain into this very cellar and show him hospitality, warmth, and love—in other words, _civilization_.  He seeks to heal the rift.

To Pax, this is folly.  Not only is it likely to result in Confrere's death, the political ramifications of a reunited Goth people are dire, particularly for his church.  On this matter, Pax and Confrere will not agree.

At this point, the PCs have a choice to make that will determine the course of events to come.


They could assist Pax by disrupting the convergence of Goths through force.  They will encounter war-bands consisting of orcs as described in the “Wandering” section, above.  There are a total of roughly 100 Goths comprising these war-bands; if the PCs are not careful, they could easily be overwhelmed and would be wise to proceed cautiously.  If they need to retreat, Confrere will let them regroup in his cellar, but he does not condone their course of action and will attempt to persuade them to change their minds at every opportunity.


If the PCs wish to aid Confrere in his plan, he will ask them to parlay with the Goth Chieftain and convince him to attend Confrere's planned summit.  To do this, Confrere hands them a _very_ worn, tattered bear-skin rug.  “This,” he tells them, “was once a symbol of my station as The Hand of Vengeance.  I gifted it to my wife on our wedding day—a symbol of my new life with her; it is all I have left of her, now.  You must take it.  Present it to the Chieftain and he will know you speak for me.”

In this event, Pax will storm out in disgust.  From this point on, he will do whatever he can to stop the PCs from parlaying with the Chieftain.  He is no combatant, but has no qualms about setting others (the denizens of New Erath, or possibly even the Goths) against the PCs to achieve his goal.


The PCs _could_ seek out the Goth Chieftain on their own, and attempt to persuade him to alter his plans.  This would be difficult, but not impossible.  The Chieftain wants two things: to absorb the lost Goths back into the tribe and to either reclaim The Hand of Vengeance, or kill him so that another may be born.  He will only be convinced to turn away if he believes the PCs can help bring these changes about in the near future.


The PCs _might_ ally themselves with the Chieftain and participate in the annexation of the ex-Goths, or even the assassination of the current Hand of Vengeance.  This course of action would gain them powerful allies in the region, but would also gain them the eternal enmity of the Church of Erathis.

*Consequences*

If the Goths are repelled through violence, they will one day rise in numbers and attack again.  Eventually, The Maimed Hand of Vengeance will die and a new Hand of Vengeance will be born, will mature, and will lead the Goths to great acts of butchery.  Success in this course of action would be a short-term victory for the faithful of Erathis, but would present a host of long-term problems.

Should the summit come to pass, the PCs' choices may cause it to unfold in different ways.  The Chieftain is an elite version of the Orc Pummeler (Monster Vault 228, double the HP and XP value, give it an action point, and +2 to saves) who will come with a handful of bodyguards—Orc Rampagers (MV 228).

If the PCs are _not_ present, the Chieftain will grow increasingly impatient with Confrere's hospitality—which he views as weakness.  Failing to convince Confrere to reclaim his duty as The Hand of Vengeance, he kills The Maimed Hand, so a new Hand of Vengeance may be born.  After this, it is a simple matter to welcome the lost Goths back into the fold with open arms (and chains).

If the PCs _are_ present, they might be able to intimidate the Goths into peacefully enduring Confrere's generosity.  During this time, Confrere will break bread with his guests and will show them naught but compassion—killing them with kindness, as the saying goes.

If the PCs are not able to outright prevent the Goths from attacking during this summit, their presence will at least turn the odds.  Once the Goths see that they cannot best the PCs, they will settle down.

The Chieftain is not likely to be won over in a single sitting, but the way might be paved for future progress.  Eventually, a civilized reunion of the Gothic peoples may be possible.  Although the short-term gain of this course of action might not be evident to most, the long-term gains would be immense.  The PCs, of course, would have allies in the folk of New Erath and might eventually share goodwill with the Goths, as well.  Pax, however, will ever be their enemy.


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## Rune (May 27, 2012)

[MENTION=34958]Deuce Traveler[/MENTION]:

[sblock=Commentary on entry, pending Judgement.]Dude!  That adventure looks like a lot of fun!  Really enjoy the build-up with the clues and the intentionally campy (yet creepy) feel of it![/sblock]


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## Deuce Traveler (May 27, 2012)

Rune said:


> [MENTION=34958]Deuce Traveler[/MENTION]:
> 
> [sblock=Commentary on entry, pending Judgement.]Dude!  That adventure looks like a lot of fun!  Really enjoy the build-up with the clues and the intentionally campy (yet creepy) feel of it![/sblock]




[MENTION=67]Rune[/MENTION]
[sblock]
Thanks!  I thought you would go with an undead theme also, considering the ingredients.  Instead you had an unexpectedly nice mash-up that blended for me non-standard orcs, eastern mysticism and a sense of steppes people.
[/sblock]


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## Wicht (May 27, 2012)

iUnexpected company came tonight - so judgment will come tomorrow afternoon.


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## Shoe (May 27, 2012)

Wow, both entries are quite good, I love the involvement of the baker in both of those ideas, but i think the Danse Macabre and evil city of traveler chopping wins it for me great story Deuce!


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## Wicht (May 27, 2012)

We have two very different entries, though each one showing promise and creativity. 

As I have done in the past, I will grade the submissions using the following criteria/scoring system:
*Followed the Rules:* Wordcount, time limit, etc. (worth 6 points)
*Ingredient Use:* Were all the ingredients legitimately used as a necessary part of the adventure? (worth 12 points)
*Useability:* How easy could a GM plop the adventure down into their game? (worth 6 points)
*Style:* Personal preference – how much does the presentation and adventure appeal to me personally (worth 6 points) 

Both entries were turned in on time and, barring the ingredient lists, were under word-count. So each gets the full 6 points there. 

Regarding ingredients, I award 1 point if the ingredient is used (however poorly) and 2 points if it is used in what I deem a worthy way. Overall, I thought Runes use of ingredients to be the better of the two contestants. Some of Traveler's uses could have been replaced by any other generic ingredient or name without effecting the adventure at all. Our first ingredient, the tattered rug, is used in both, though I like Rune's use better. The tattered rug as an artifact does nothing to explain to me why it bears the title “tattered.” It could just as easily have been a gold rug, a silk rug, or any other sort of thing you placed under you on the ground. Both adventurers featured bakers as central to the casting, though I actually, in this case, preferred the brigand baker. I am not sure in what way a loving, caring baker who produces magical, tasty bread is pitiful.  In both adventures I like the Maimed Hand of Vengeance and gave both full points for those. Likewise with the itinerant Cleric. Regarding both the Gothic Reunion and the Cheerful Cellar, I felt that the Danse Macabre use was a bit weak, actually very weak. Again, the name of the inn could have been anything, as could the ceremony. Overall, Vengeance and Pity, garnered 11 out of 12 for Ingredients and Danse Macabre 9 out of 12.

As far as useability, I actually thought that Danse Macabre showed a little more promise than Vengeance and Pity. I could see the bones of the adventure being used in just about any setting. With a little work, it could be fitted for a variety of genres even. Vengeance and Pity makes some assumptions that limit its portability, namely: redeemable orcs. This is a matter of campaign taste, but it just won't work in every world. I am giving Danse Macabre 6 out of 6 in this area and Vengeance and Pity 5 out of 6.

Finally Style. I like both scenarios, but I like Deuce Traveler's adventure a little better for one primary reason: there is more going on. Vengeance and Pity provides the seeds for an adventure, but I would have liked to see a little more intrigue than what is offered. In the end, there just is not that much there. The adventure calls for the adventurers to make a single primary choice: diplomacy or battle. Then it presents the ramifications of this one choice: you either fight a number of battles or try to arrange a meeting. (I think that a lot of time is spent developing the location of the cellar and the character of the Hand of Vengeance which could have been used to provide actual adventure.) Meanwhile in the other scenario, we have a hint of potential cannibalism, an army of undead, a murderous hand, and a town of scared citizens. There is a lot of room for development and subplots. I would, however, liked to have seen the information arranged better than it was. The format of the presentation left a lot to be desired and for that I am docking a point. In style, I'm giving Vengeance and Pity a 3 and Danse Macabre a 5.

In the end, I think that Rune used the ingredients much better, and in a more clever way. But they were not used to present as complex an adventure as I would have liked to have seen. By a narrow margin of 1 point Deuce Traveler edges out Rune and advances. 


*Rune – Vengeance and Pity *
*Followed the Rules*  6/6
*Ingredient Use* 11/12
*Useability* 5/6
*Style* 3/6
*Total:* 25/30

*Deuce Traveler – Danse Macabre*
*Followed the Rules * 6/6
*Ingredient Use* 9/12
*Useability* 6/6
*Style* 5/6
*Total:* 26/30

Thanks to both of you and good luck Deuce in future rounds.


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## Waylander the Slayer (May 28, 2012)

Shoe said:


> If a match starts up tuesday or after I am ready!




Same here.


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## steeldragons (May 28, 2012)

*"Staff of Storms"

Ingredients:*
crippled minotaur
Rock city 
unfortunate smuggler 
misplaced desire 
tower shield 
staff of storms 

The following is a short adventure for a party of 4-6 characters of low to middling level (4-7). 

The party is in the port-city of Flotsam in the borderlands at the edge of the Duchy. Not far to the north, about a day from the mainland is the island kingdom of Trete. The longest side of the triangular isle faces the mainland creating a rather narrow expanse of sea that is prone to harsh weather forced by the high crags and mountains at either side. 

This narrow, but long, expanse is known by sailors as _*the Staff of Storms*_ and is generally avoided at all costs for the perils rumored to accost its waters.

At the northern tip of Trete is the capitol, Rock, sometimes called "*Rock City."* It is rumored to be a place of great entertainment, a bustling music scene and decadence. "The King" himself is said to send noblewomen into frenzies with odd gyrating dances. Adding to this gambling of all kinds, a gladiatorial arena and other sundry recreational pursuits gives Rock a notorious reputation as a den of debauchery.

The party will hear d6 of the following rumors in Flotsam before answering a post for "Mercenaries wanted" to protect a trading ship called the "Floatin' Beard."

 The Staff of Storms cannot be crossed. The weather is too unpredictable.
 There is a titan that lives at the bottom of a great whirlpool in the middle of the Staff.
 Rock is no place for respectable persons. It is a den of pirates and thieves.
 There is rumored to be a quartet of musical coleoptera, unlike anything you've ever heard, that are all the rage in Rock City.
 The Arena in Rock is a place to gain fame and fortune.
 The Duke's navy is stopping all ships, leaving and arriving, on suspicion of arms running.
 Last month, an Ogre was slain in town. How it got into the city without notice remains a mystery.
 More humanoids are seen at the wharf, of late. They arrive on cargo ships from Trete.
 
*The Floatin' Beard*
The Captain, a peg-legged dwarf named _Magnus Ironsides_, happily takes along the party as added muscle. He readily tells them they're going to Rock City to deliver a shipment of _*tower shields*_ and armor. He will not divulge, until they are already at sea, that their route is the Staff of Storms. Magnus brushes off any rumors about the Staff, "Bah. Sailor talk. I've done it a hundred times."


 Payment is proposed as "part now, the rest when we reach Rock City." (the DM is free to generate the payment necessary to entice the party. Magnus has no plans on paying them anyway.)
 The party is given their quarters (shared with 2 crewman).
They are strictly forbidden from entering the cargo hold...and advised it best to leave the Magist alone.
 The journey will take 4 days to reach Rock City. 1 day to reach the entry point of the Staff of Storms, and 3 days through it.
 The Crew


*Captain Magnus Ironsides:* A Fighter/Thief (combined levels should be 2 levels higher than the highest level PC). He fights with a short cutlass (treat as short sword) coated with a sleeping poison (save or sleep for 1 hour). He wears leather armor (but has a shirt of chainmail in his quarters to don if needed).
*"First Mate"*: A lizardman simply referred to as "Mister Hiss." He fights with spear and net if forced into combat. He follows Magnus' orders at all times, seemingly understanding Common but does not speak (only hissing or growling replies). Magnus speaks Lizardman.
*"Ship's Magist":* is a mage of middling level, Arklebin Snide. He is curt to the point of rudeness. He retires to his cabin shortly after departure and remains there for the duration of the trip unless the ship is attacked, trouble breaks out on board, or summoned by the captain. He will not accept visitors. Arklebin has the following spells (others tbd by the DM, if necessary): _Sleep (x2), Charm Person, Web and Invisibility_. He also possesses a _Wand of Paralysis_ (15 charges) on his person at all times.
*General crew:* 15 sailors. Assume Fighters levels 1-3 with assorted simple weapons. The DM is encouraged to make the crew as diverse and "piratey" as they like or need. All the crew are loyal to Magnus. They are superstitious and give PC magic-users a wide girth.
 _NOTE: None of the crew are "evil", just greedy neutrals (and/or chaotic neutrals)._

For every 12 hours in "the Staff" to DM should roll (d10) for a possible encounter:


 A Storm giant (80HP) rises out of the sea to inquire if they have seen a sea serpent anywhere? His dear "Mister Finny" has gone missing. If the party hasn't seen it and/or convince the giant they haven't, the giant will thank them and be on his way. If they mention harming the serpent, the giant attacks in a rage. He destroys the ship in 10 rounds if he isn't damaged to (at least) half HP within that time. The giant will retreat when brought below half his hit points.
 Squall. The ship runs into a short (3 hours) but fierce storm. Anyone on deck (not tied down) must make Dexterity checks to keep from being flung overboard. All must make Constitution checks or be sea-sickened for the next 12 hours (-1 to all rolls).
 Nothing.
 Sea Serpent. A giant sea serpent (HP 60) attacks the ship, coiling around it several times. It will attempt to bite anyone fighting it (target swallowed whole on a natural 20)  but will retreat if it receives 30 or more points of damage.
 A band of 15 sahuagin (HP 20 each) board and attack. They will retreat if 5 of their number is slain.
 Nothing.
 Sea Serpent (as #4). If returning, it will again retreat after losing half of its remaining hit points. If the serpent is already slain, nothing occurs.
 Squall (as #2).
 Harpies. d6 harpies attack the ship from the craggy coast of Trete. They will attempt to charm and carry off as many males (party or crewmen) as they can to devour back on the island.
 Nothing.
 
On Board
1: The Magist's Cabin: If the party forces entry, Arklebin will raise an alarm and use his spells and wand on as many party members as he can. If he takes damage, he makes himself Invisible and attempts to escape.

If the mage is not present, the party finds a neatly appointed cabin with desk, shelves of maps and books about weather patterns, marine life and theoretical works on divination. The magist also keeps, in a heavy bolted-down stand, a crystal ball (which he uses to scan ahead of the vessel to avoid hazards).

3: The Captain's Quarters: Stretching around the back of the ship are the large "U" shaped quarters of Captain Magnus. Furnishings include a large desk, long table (6 chairs), bookcase, bed, and all the fine dressings one would expect of a successful sea captain. Magnus will be found there 25% of the time during the day, 90% at night.

The desk contains a locked drawer (the captain holds the key) with a poisoned needle trap (failed save causes sleep for 1 hour.) Inside are several letters from someone named "Dervis." They are all written in dwarven listing dates, orders for "tower shields", records of payments, and one that reads:
_"5 hobgoblins, 3 lizardmen, as many orcs as you can find... you still owe me an ogre."
_​ A thorough examination will also reveal the following treasures:_ 4 potions (2 water breathing, 1 healing, 1 neutralize poison)_, a locked chest under his bed containing a suit of _dwarven chain mail +2_, a ceramic pot containing a thick purple liquid (Magnus' sleeping poison, 10 applications). In a hidden compartment behind his bookcase are sacks holding a total of 2,000 sp, 400 gp and 5 gems (worth 100gp each) .

4-6: Crew Quarters: Each of these tightly packed rooms hold 6 hammocks and 6 locked chests, each. In one of the chests there are_ 2 potions (water breathing and healing)_. A total of 350cp and 130 sp will be found between them all.

7: The Cargo Hold: The hold is constantly under guard. If the party gains access, on first glance it is exactly as Magnus said. There are crates filled with tower shields, helmets, assorted breastplates. If emptied (or torn apart), the party has the same chance as finding a secret door to notice that the contents do not seem to fill the full depth. There are hidden compartments at the bottom of two crates filled with axes and short swords.

There is also an actual secret door behind the largest crate (combined strength of 50 to move it). It opens to a hidden hold (see area 8).

8: The Prisoner's Hold: In this dank area the floor is covered in straw and filth. The walls are lined with iron shackles. There is also a giant box with large air holes in the top. There are six  sets of shackles unoccupied. The whole place reeks like a stable.

 Within this area are: 2 lizardmen, 3 hobgoblins (who can speak Common), a bugbear female, and near-emaciated human with a very curly beard.

If the party finds this hold by the 3rd day, the human will be very weak but alive and introduce himself as Captain Screwbeard. He will claim the ship is his and Magnus led a mutiny when they'd arrived in Flotsam last week. He will implore the party to free him and help him retake his ship.

If this hold is not discovered by the end of the 3rd day of travel, the _*unfortunate smuggler *_will fall prey to the (by then) ravenous humanoids. The party will only find his remains.

The party are told by the hobgoblins (or Captain Screwbeard) that they have been taken against their will and believe they are to be sold to slavery. They will promise to aid the party in any ways necessary if they are freed. They don't know what's in the giant crate, only that it stinks and moans quite a bit.

Within the huge wooden crate, if it is opened, the party will find a great iron cage within which is crammed a *crippled minotaur.* The bull-man's legs have been hobbled and placed in wooden and iron stocks so the beast cannot stand. If the party heals the minotaur (15hp to regain the use of his legs) and frees him, he will fight with the party until his captors are slain. He will then turn on the party (as will the other creatures).

If Magnus is confronted about the monsters below deck, he says they are criminals being brought to justice in the Arena of Rock. He will, under no circumstances, release them and tries to capture the party if they attempt to do so.

Arrival:
Assuming they are still on good terms with Magnus as the port of Rock City comes into view on the evening of the 4th day of travel, Magnus and all of the crew will be on deck. After a jovial speech from the dwarf, they all attack the party. All damage by the crew is considered "non-lethal" as Magnus is simply trying to acquire a few more worthy souls for the gladiator's arena.

Win or lose, the party arrives in Rock City. Does the party arrive at port with a ship full of contraband? Seek out this "Dervis" to make some coin? Do they wake up in chains in the bowels of the Arena?


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## ender_wiggin (May 28, 2012)

*Iron DM 2012 Round 1: ender_wiggin vs. steeldragons*

*OF MAZES AND MORTALS*
An epic-tier adventure for a fantasy setting

*ADVENTURE BACKGROUND*

*Monolith*
Black as ebony, pliable as ooze, the immature igneous _tautorite _writhes and contorts, an amorphous geologic embyro of intense arcane potential. The outermost layers expand and cool, blossoming into a honeycomb pattern, bending and warping the physical space where it encounters resistance. Far from its embryonic origin, the tautorite’s energy finally dissipates and it settles into a mature, robust rock. Mature tautorite is known for the tricks it plays on space. Deep in the world’s depths where tautorite is endogenous, one may frequently discover caverns larger on the inside than out, observe gravity that shifts from one tunnel to the next, and return to the same location without ever having meandered from a straight march.

Here dwells the last of the minotaur, who possess an uncanny intuition of their capricious surroundings. Here they thrive, sheltered from the violent machinations of sunwalkers. Their metropolis of stone is built on a bedrock of tautorite, and they walk amongst their twisted design without need for maps. They name their labyrinthine city Monolith, after the colossal stone tower at its heart, connected to the city by a thick web of stone and rock tendrils. Inside of its hardened exterior lies the _marrow_, a column of embryonic tautorite that slowly matures outward through the tendrils into the city, the foundation of its paradoxical architecture. This intricate process, however, is vulnerable to destabilization. Even a small insult to the marrow disrupts the fragile equilibrium and could have disastrous ramifications on the city infrastructure. To avoid such a calamity, the city’s arcanists have hardened the monolith’s exterior into a abjurative exoskeleton. This protective shell they call the _cortex_, and the faint white light of its sigils renders a perpetual soft glow to the city streets.

*The Mazerot*
The locals openly tell you their creation myth. Once upon a time, the gods were young and inexperienced with their divine clay. They erred in giving their creations too much power (a hard lesson, for some of them) and their work was unpolished, lacking simplicity and elegance. The minotaurs are a product of that primordial time. They are monstrously strong and quicksilver keen, masters of both physical and arcane worlds. Yet they are unpolished; a poorly amalgamated set of biological characteristics later reiterated in (sensibly) separate species. More importantly, they suffer a curse, a relic of flawed engineering. Every minotaur in Monolith is doomed to meet the same excruciating end: a pervasive dementia that begins its course in the fifth decade of life. The disease - _mazerot _- waxes and wanes for a time, and is so subtle at first that one might only have a miniscule tremor. But it is inevitably progressive and eventually reduces even the hardiest of minotaurs to a disoriented, amnesic, incontinent, bedbound elder. In this state, if tended to, minotaurs can survive for many years.

There is no uniform cultural reaction to the mazerot, and it is up to each individual minotaur how to receive it. Some choose to end their own life when they have lost their independence, either quietly or by ceremony. Others choose to have their family members hold their care once they have lost their ability to navigate the city, which usually occurs in a later stage of the illness and is widely regarded as a point of no return. There are some who refuse death, choosing to subsist for decades in a pitiful state. The minotaur approach their mortality as mortals do: some with courage and pride, others with fear and shame.

_“They have to turn him,” Corbellos explains. A team of servants tenderly lifts an gaunt, emaciated minotaur elder to his side. A weak cry of agony escapes from his lips. His eyes shine of confusion. “He no longer moves by himself, so we must turn him four times a day and apply ointment or he will develop painful sores. They stopped feeding him weeks ago, but we minotaur can survive months without nutrition...”_​
*Thom Gamble*
Thom Gamble is perhaps the most illustrious spice runner in the known world. Among higher circles, he is the most reliable way of getting goods (of any kind) from one place to another, no matter how far and how illicit. Those who know him understand that he is a marriage of foolish bravado and savant-like intellect. Luck had always been on the side of Thom until recently, when he found himself on the open seas in a political quagmire with no good options. With a stunning tactical maneuver that left his enemies baffled, Gamble sacrificed his ship for life and limb. Rather than let that be a harsh reality check or a cause for retirement, he has set out to build a new and improved vessel. One of his most important stops is Monolith, where he connives to steal a tiny piece of tautorite marrow, from which he can build a cargo hold larger than his hull. Unfortunately for him, luck is against him twice, and he is waylaid and kidnapped after just a few short months in the city, while on the brink of designing a spell to penetrate the tautorite cortex.

*Corbellos*
This middle-aged minotaur is caretaker of the largest library in town, and the likeliest source of any information about the city the PCs might desire. In his prime, Corbellos was a member of the _Aegis Directive_, an elite group of wizards that maintains the cortex. After his retirement, Corbellos has been reduced to running the library and tinkering with arcane trinkets. His most prized creation is a magical staff that can reproduce any environmental effect on a thousand-fold scale, utilizing the amplification techniques that allowed the Directive to strengthen large portions of the cortex simultaneously.

For much of his life, Corbellos has quietly suppressed his hatred of the mazerot and its consequences: the intense suffering of kin that is hidden from children and foreigners, and the impossible choice that every minotaur faces. Now, as his own time nears, a lifetime of these boiling emotions drives the wizard towards monstrous actions. Corbellos concocts a plan to destroy the entire city and its denizens, an act he believes will free his people from perpetual damnation.

Corbellos became aware of Thom Gamble’s intentions despite the rogue’s clandestine habits. Seizing the opportunity as he saw it, Corbellos steals Gamble’s work and traps the smuggler in a maze within the depths of his library while he modifies the spell to be used with his staff. Corbellos plans to destroy the city’s monolithic tower. While minor alteration to the marrow could topple a district over time, gross destruction of the column would invariably lead to immediate collapse of the entire city, killing tens of thousands and putting the minotaur species at risk of extinction.

_“You people speak with such fondness the juvenile and irresponsible actions of our creators,” Corbellos’s voice resonates deeply off of the cavern walls. “You turn away, ignore the tragedy that awaits each and every one of you. To what end? Be proud in your adversity. Recognize what you truly are: a mistake of the ancients they would take back if they could.” He shouts now, and pebbles come loose from the walls. “I will not let you sentence our children to the fate of our forefathers! They deserve better than to be born accursed creatures.”_​
*Delphine*
The characters will likely need a minotaur guide while in Monolith. For this purpose they meet Delphine, a young minotaur orphan from a part of town that collapsed in the years following damage to the marrow. As part of orphanage culture, Delphine is sheltered from the truths surrounding her fated demise. She expresses this naivete while on the job, and PC discussion of her situation (or lack thereof) may have profound impacts on her life after the adventure.

_“Marrow tautorite does not move,” recites Delphine with a playful smirk. “It warps the space around it, and bends the light.”
_​
*ADVENTURE MECHANICS*

The PCs are hooked into the adventure by way of Thom Gamble. They may know him personally from a previous adventure, or know of him through an employer/ally. Perhaps they are sent to apprehend him for his unpaid crimes, or rescue him when word gets out that he has gone missing. Either way, it is important to the PCs that they return with Gamble alive.

When the PCs arrive in Monolith, they are warmly greeted by its denizens so long they are not destructive. They should have an opportunity to explore the city and its culture. At some point, the group should meet Corbellos and Delphine. When the PCS find Gamble’s hideout they find its interior ransacked and in shambles.


Careful examination reveals that damage to the building was from a multitude of elemental sources: melted furniture, electrical scorch marks, freeze burns can be distinguished from one another in seemingly random distribution.
There is evidence of Gamble’s arcane experiments that Corbellos did not have time to extinguish. How much they learn of his work depends on skill checks: Gamble’s secret ingredient is acid from a black wyrmling he transported years ago, one of few compounds corrosive enough to burn through the cortex, and one wholly foreign to the city.

What happens next depends on how quickly the PCs can reveal Corbellos’s involvement. In addition to the clues above:

Corbellos will share with them his work on the staff, unaware that he left tracks.
Should the PCs talk to Corbellos twice, he forgets who they are the second time they meet. 
Roleplaying or dice can reveal that Corbellos seems increasingly withdrawn and sullen according to his neighbors. Corbellos will espouse his tragic philosophy with them if pressed, but he will not confess his plans until there is no turning back.

If the PCs convince themselves of Corbellos’s involvement before he is finished integrating Gamble’s work with his own, they can assault or infiltrate the library’s depths, avoid/defuse the minotaur’s traps, and rescue Thom Gamble. Corbellos meanwhile escapes and plans his attack on the tower.

If the PCs fail to find Corbellos before this time, he publicly voices his philosophy and unleashes his attack upon the city. Gamble escapes into the netherworld. The PCs must choose to either lose Gamble or abandon the city to Corbellos’s whims. Without PC intervention, Corbellos will ultimately succeed, resulting in a genocide of the minotaur people.

Corbellos’s attack is fierce: with his staff, he calls down a relentless acid rain that showers the monolith and burns its way through the cortex. At this point, the conflict should be unveiled to the group and they should have the option to choose what side of the conflict, if any, they come down on.

Should the PCs decide to stand on the side of the city, they should eventually be able to stop the wizard. How they fare in this conflict will determine the extent of damage to the city. Let the PCs confront Corbellos with both steel and their own rhetoric.
Although Corbellos truly believes in his actions, he is also motivated by a strong fear of his impending death, and it is no coincidence that he acts now in the twilight of his life. The PCs can use this fact to seed doubt in his mind, and perhaps slow him down.
The PCs can keep Thom as a prisoner if they have him, or they can convince the rogue to participate in the city’s defense: though the man is known for pragmatism, he is not above compassion and would be a powerful ally.
If the PCs side with Corbellos or remain neutral, they can keep pieces of tautorite marrow from the doomed city, which surely will have utility for their further adventures.

_“You humans are lucky. You live for a lifetime and die in a moment. We minotaur live in a moment and die for a lifetime. My people... they will look up to you now... Be good to them.”
-- Corbellos, if defeated_​
[sblock=Summary of Ingredients (not included in word count)]*SUMMARY OF INGREDIENTS*
Crippled minotaur: the minotaur species and their debilitating mazerot.
Rock city: Monolith, the city built on tautorite.
Unfortunate smuggler: Thom Gamble, stricken with bad luck twice in a row
Misplaced desire: Corbellos’s wish to ease his people’s suffering, confounded by his fear of death, manifest as his terrible attempt to commit genocide.
Tower shield: the cortex, a magical shield that protects the vital marrow
Staff of storms: Corbellos’s artifact, created with a career of expertise, conduit of his misplaced emotions.[/sblock]


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## Nifft (May 29, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer said:


> Same here.



 Cool.

*Shoe* and *Waylander the Slayer*: I can post ingredients tomorrow evening (between 4M and 6M). Does that work for you both?


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## Shoe (May 29, 2012)

Nifft said:


> Cool.
> 
> *Shoe* and *Waylander the Slayer*: I can post ingredients tomorrow evening (between 4M and 6M). Does that work for you both?




good with me


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## Radiating Gnome (May 29, 2012)

Usually, I'd start off with some longwinded preamble, but I don't think most of you care about that, so without further ado, the results:

[sblock]
*Ingredients.* 

Ingredients are, usually, the most important part of the entry and the judgement. On very rare occasions an entry can overcome ingredient problems, but those examples are few and far between.  In this case, we've got a couple of entries that are struggling to make ingredients fit naturally.  A well-used ingredient is one that is an important part of the story -- if it were removed, the rest of the story would fall apart. Weak ingredients often look more like garnish -- they might be on the plate to make the dish look pretty, but they're not an important part of the meal. 

*crippled minotaur*- in SoS, the crippled minotaur is one of the humanoid monsters being smuggled to the city.  This is an example of the sort of weak ingredient I mentioned above -- it could be removed and there would be no serious loss to the story of the adventure.  

In MaM, the crippled minotaur is a little weird -- the ingredient has been applied to ALL minotaurs, who are afflicted with a terrible, crippling disease in their later years. It serves as the motivation of the primary antagonist in the story -- the troubled Minotaur Corbellos.  It works, in it's way, although it feels like an uncomfortable fit for me. Still, advantage Mam.  

*Rock city* - In MaM, the Rock City is the setting for the story, an underground city of Minotaurs, built around the powerful tautorite pillar.  The Rock City, and since these are minotaurs, the Rock Maze City -- they're a direct result of that tautorite.  And the Tautorite is key to the story, but the Rock City setting is not.  In none of the description of the action the PCs play through do they deal with the rock city or the maze it creates. A more fleshed out entry, not limited by word count, might have been able to make more of it, but we have to work with this entry, and while the "rock city" ingredient is covered nominally, it doesn't really enter the story in any real way. 

SoS isn't much better.  There, the Rock City is a destination -- it's the place the PCs are traveling to, the place the humanoid prisoners are being smuggled to, etc.  The location has some influence over the story -- the type of cargo on the ship is influenced by Rock City, but if we were to rename the city "Denver" nothing that the players really interact with would change.  I'm all about the interpretive twists -- making the king of rock city an Elvis clone is funny and cool, but if the adventure never gets there for the PCs to interact with it, there doesn't seem to be much point.  I'm not going to give either side advantage for this one -- they were both pretty weak. 

*Unfortunate Smuggler* - in SoS, this is captain Screwbeard (love the name) who's imprisoned on the ship and might be rescued by the pcs. He's there, but the adventure would play pretty much exactly the same if he were not there -- it's entirely disposable, which makes him weak. 

In MaM, the unfortunate smuggler is Thom Gamble, who is normally fortunate but seems to have had a bad streak -- he's the hook that brings the party to the underground city, trying to track him down.  He's a bit more integral to the story, although I'm not totally happy with him, either. He's a prisoner that needs rescuing, and nothing about his actual role in the story draws on his being a smuggler or unfortunate. He could be any prisoner, any lost soul.  Still, this is marginally better than the usage in SoS, so advantage MaM. 


*misplaced desire* - in MaM, the misplaced desire is Corbellos' reason for his actions, and the threat he brings to the story. It works okay, although it feels like a bit of a stretch.  

In SoS, I'm struggling to see which specific element was intended to be the misplaced desire. Other ingredients were bolded in the writeup when they appeared, and this one does not.  There are characters with desires, but I don't see any one as specific ally misplaced. So, Once again, advantage MaM. 


*tower shield* - In MaM the tower shield is the magic that keeps the Tautoric at bay, and the thing Corbellos must breach to complete his plans. In SoS, the cargo hold is full of tower shields.  But, it's never important that they're tower shields -- they're generic cargo, and could have been replaced with Hawaiian Pizza without changing the story -- so, could have been better. Advantage MaM.  


*staff of storms* - In SoS, the region the PCs sail through is called the Staff of Storms.  I find this sort of use of any ingredient very frustrating.  Sure, there are a few storm encounters on the random encounter table, but other than that, the idea of storms does not seem important to the story -- and just labeling a body of water "staff of storms" does not do much to satisfy the ingredient.  

Meanwhile, in MaM, there's an actual staff, and it actually affects storms, and is actually used by the bad guy in the adventure.  I'm not wowed or excited by the use, but it works.  

So, MaM makes much better use of the ingredients than SoS does, on almost every count.  

*Creativity* - There are a lot of things I liked about SoS -- just not the way it used ingredients. The Rock city as Elvis's kingdom was perhaps the best ingredient use in SoS, and it made me smile (and wish some of the adventure took place there). But character names and other elements made me smile. I did have to wonder how effective a first mate who never speaks would be -- and that would either be some very cool RP or a very big problem.  I'm betting on some fun RP -- a lot of the rest of the writeup reads like you're good at DMing those sorts of absurdities. 

MaM also had good, creative elements, but even though the scope was grander, I was less impressed with that creativity. The Tautocite is a pretty standard dingus -- Avatar's Unobtanium, Star Trek's Red Matter, etc. It's the stuff that makes the plot go. But I didn't get the feeling that the tautocite really did much in the story -- it was there, it has that primordial matter feel to it, but in the long run it's just there.  In the end, I was not as excited by MaM as I was SoS, so advantage Sos.  

*Playability *- SoS felt like I could pretty much drop it into a game and run with it.  MaM was also pretty good, although it would require rewriting a chunk of whatever game's cosmology I drop it into just to make the adventure fit -- and totally changing the way Minotaurs exist in a given campaign world might not work very well for many DMs, so it's utility is limited.  So, it's a small thing, but I'll give an edge to Sos here, too. 

*Final Analysis *

In the end, Mazes and Mortals has it's problems, but it makes better use of the ingredients almost completely across the board. The non-ingredient good points that Staff of Storms has going for it are not strong enough IMO to recover from those problems. Still, it has a lot of good elements and could have been a strong contender with better integrated ingredients.

So, this round goes to Mazes and Mortals, and [MENTION=21629]ender_wiggin[/MENTION] advances to round 2. 
[/sblock]


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## steeldragons (May 29, 2012)

Congratulations [MENTION=21629]ender_wiggin[/MENTION]. 

Thanks [MENTION=150]Radiating Gnome[/MENTION] for the judging and feedback.

My initial write ended up over 2400 words and I struggled to get it cut back to 1998 for submission. I'm inclined to think some of what got cut might have helped make some of the elements a bit more thorough and/or meaningful.

There simply wasn't the space. C'est la guerre of IronDM.

But glad you liked the creativity and playability. [I'm glad you got the "King" thing. hahaha. Wondering if anyone got the coleoptera quartet reference as well.  ]

Now, ender_wiggin, go on to kick further DM butt that my loss will not have been in vain. 
--SD


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## ender_wiggin (May 29, 2012)

The word count was also the biggest challenge for me. I think a lot of the unique flavor of tautorite was perhaps lost to editing, resulting in a pitiable comparison to unobtanium.

For what it's worth, I really liked your interpretation of the Staff of Storms and it was my favorite part of your adventure. It was unconventional, imaginative, and in my mind it was just the kind of idiosyncrasy that makes a setting come to life.


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## Nifft (May 29, 2012)

*Round 1 / Match 3*

Haven't heard from *Waylander the Slayer* since I proposed this time, but his previous post was around 1:30 AM, so I'm going to assume he's on a different sleep schedule than I am and trust his word that he's ready to go starting today.

*Shoe* and *Waylander the Slayer*, you have until 6M on Thursday, May 31st (Eastern Time).

Your ingredients are:

*- Pious Pawn-Broker
- Puzzled Nobility
- Dying Jungle
- Pursued by Pirates
- Blink Dog
- Ghost Voice Helmet*

May the most evilly creative rat-bastard win. 

Cheers, -- N


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## Lwaxy (May 29, 2012)

steeldragons said:


> Congratulations  @ender_wiggin .
> 
> Wondering if anyone got the coleoptera quartet reference as well.  ]




Of course


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## Shoe (May 29, 2012)

Nifft said:


> Haven't heard from *Waylander the Slayer* since I proposed this time, but his previous post was around 1:30 AM, so I'm going to assume he's on a different sleep schedule than I am and trust his word that he's ready to go starting today.
> 
> *Shoe* and *Waylander the Slayer*, you have until 6M on Thursday, May 31st (Eastern Time).
> 
> ...




Oh god, this should be FUN


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## Deuce Traveler (May 30, 2012)

Sorry for my delayed response, but I had an overly long Memorial Day weekend and am only now beginning to play catch-up.  I wanted to thank Wicht for allowing me to move forward, and Rune for giving me a very good and close run.

Steeldragons, I very much liked your adventure, particularly the lizardman first mate.  I very much like that character.  Congrats to Ender for moving forward and his portrayal of a different sort of minotaurs.

As for you chaps in round 3, ouch!  That looks like quite an ingredient list!


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## Loonook (May 30, 2012)

Must say I am sort of sad I missed that list...

I wasn't aware we were vying spots after the initial.  Just been waiting... Also, why no Mention tags on the posts?  Definitely makes it easier to keep track.

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Nifft (May 30, 2012)

Loonook said:


> I wasn't aware we were vying spots after the initial.  Just been waiting...



 It's not "vying" to me, it's "scheduling".



Loonook said:


> Also, why no Mention tags on the posts?



 Because they're new-ish and I'm old-ish. Thanks for reminding me!

[MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION], please check in.


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## Waylander the Slayer (May 30, 2012)

Nifft said:


> It's not "vying" to me, it's "scheduling".
> 
> Because they're new-ish and I'm old-ish. Thanks for reminding me!
> 
> [MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION], please check in.




Checked in.


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## Shoe (May 30, 2012)

Mine is almost done! CURSE YOU BLINK DOG!

I have always loved the idea of the blink dog, but good aligned monsters are FRIGGIN HARD to use well!


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## Shoe (May 30, 2012)

*The Ghost Voice Whisperers*



Nifft said:


> Your ingredients are:
> 
> *- Pious Pawn-Broker
> - Puzzled Nobility
> ...




*The Ghost Voice Whisperers*

The Ghost Voice Whisperers is an adventure for 2nd Level characters in D&D 3.X/Pathfinder, but can be easily adapted to any system with marginal effort.

Intro:
Among the Tarratur archipelago lies the mostly uninhabited tropical island of Saheela.  The only city of note on this Island is a trading hub specializing in foreign fruits such as coconuts and bananas, known as called Kahld.  Kahld is home to a single family of noblemen who control almost 100% of the exports of the city.  And the the coconut and banana crops are largely tended to by the majority of the city's population.  Lately a strange “disease” seems to have affected the townsfolk and *puzzled the nobility* and their healers.  Many villagers have been driven to a hollow madness, first becoming distant, then wandering aimlessly… left mostly mindless, and finally wandering off, never to return.  Their crops have been poor lately as well, the jungle seems to be dying from the inside out!

Background:
A Pawn-Broker named Dorigon recently purchased an ancient helm from a shady character that was in a hurry to be rid of the item because he was being chased by pirates (from whom he had stolen the item).  The item is an ancient artifact called the *Ghost Voice Helmet*.  (See the Ghost Voice Helmet section below).  *The Pious Pawn-Broker*, Dorigon is the sect leader of the cult who created the Helm long ago, called the Ghost Voice Whisperers.  The Ghost Voice Whisperers have a temple in the center of the Saheela Jungle and they are using the Ghost Voice Helmet to draw spirits out of the local flora, fauna and inhabitants to perform a ritual that will bring about the Apocalypse, purging every one of their tainted fleshy forms, and freeing the spirits of all living things (an unpleasant side effect of which is everyone and everything being dead).  The process is slow with just the Ghost Voice Helmet, and can be sped up by focusing the item through a conduit.  The conduit must have some sort of interdimensional link (be an outsider with the ability to connect to the ethereal plane).  Dorigon has kidnapped a *Blink Dog* to use as a conduit to bring souls through from the ethereal plane and into the material plane.  

Adventure Hooks:

-	Dorigon is being *chased by pirates*: (whom the Ghost Voice Helm was stolen from by the man who sold it to him) and will actively try to hire any adventurers passing through for protection.  When the PC’s enter Kahld, Dorigon will hear about it almost immediately, he is a large proponent of gossip and will seek the PCs out within the first 1d4 hours of game time.  If they decline to aid him, he will offer money to the tune of 25 gold pieces for each of the heads of the pirate crew (25 men in total) that seeks him out.  The pirates will dock by nightfall; 2d4 days after the party has arrived on Saheela.  He is aware that the pirates want the Ghost Voice Helm, but will deny knowing what the pirates are after if questioned.  If the PC’s interfere, the pirates will be out for them as well.  They assume that Dorigon still has the Ghost Voice Helmet (information they received by capturing and torturing the thief who stole it from them and promptly sold it to the pawn shop).

-	Investigate the Madness that infects Kahld: citizens of Kahld have been slowly but surely going mad.  First they seem distant and uncaring, then they seem to space out (as per the Confusion spell), and finally they find themselves wandering off into the jungle at random times never to be heard from again. If the players follow someone with the “disease” when they wander off, they will be led to the temple kept by the Ghost Voice Whisperers in the jungle.   

If the PC’s inquire further, they find a large pile of dead bodies in front of a cave that houses the Ghost Voice Whisperers’ temple.  Their bodies will reanimate within a few days of their death as zombies, but they do not bother to move or stand up unless something living comes near, in which case they will attack.  At any given time, there are 2d8 zombies in front of the temple.  

-	 Investigate the *dying Jungle*:  The jungle is slowly dying off because the souls of the trees and other wildlife are also being drawn out by the Ghost Voice Helmet.  The spirits are being drawn to the temple of the Ghost Voice Whisperers in the center of the Saheela jungle.  The closer to the temple, the more dead the wildlife and trees.  Players are likely to encounter zombie panthers, tigers, monkeys, and even villagers.

*The Ghost Voice Helmet:*
The Ghost Voice Whisper:  Any living creature of any type must make a WILL save (DC: 15/moderate difficulty) or become Confused (as the spell Confusion) as long as they are within a 5 mile radius of the Ghost Voice Helmet.  Members of the Ghost Voice Whisperers cult have undergone a special ritual that make them immune to the effects of the Helm until they desire to leave their disgusting fleshy shells.  After the effected target becomes listless and distant they must succeed another WILL save (DC: 20/ hard difficulty), or they are drawn to the Ghost Voice Helmet.  Once they come within 100 yards of the Helmet, the spirit of the creature leaves the body, and the target dies, returning as a Zombie in 1d4 hours.  Their spirit becomes a ghost, and haunts the current location of the Ghost Voice Helmet until the Helmet is moved or destroyed.  After moving the helmet, the ghost is bound to its current location, and if the helmet is destroyed all spirits removed in this way return to their bodies (as if a True Resurrection were cast on the host body, this works even if the host body is now an undead).  This effect is controllable by the wielder if the Helmet is worn.

Contact Spirits: When the Ghost Voice Helmet is worn, it gives the wearer the ability to contact the spirit of any living or dead creature within speaking distance and communicate with them directly regardless of language or intelligence in a previous life.  The wearer can also make physical contact with creatures on the ethereal plane as per the Ghost Touch ability.

Allegiance: It also seeks out the nearest member of the Ghost Voice Whisperers of the highest level.  

The Temple of the Ghost Voice Whisperers:
Inside the temple, the Ghost Voice Whisperers always have 2 guards just beyond the mouth of the cave.  They are 1st level acolytes of the Ghost Voice Whisperers, and have prepared a Darkvision spell so they can see in the cave and outside of it without penalties to their actions.  Inside the cave is filled with traps to protect the Ghost Voice Helmet, these traps are magically set and never trigger for a member of the Ghost Voice Whisperer.  Whenever a Ghost Voice Whisperer becomes unconscious or dying, their spirit immediately leaves their body and moves to the location of the Ghost Voice Helmet.  The Ghost Voice Helmet is on an altar in the center of the Ghost Voice Whisperers’ temple.  The room is full of Ghosts (as per the Monster Manual/Bestiary), but they will not attack unless provoked.  All they can perceive is the Ghost Voice Helm and it has transfixed them to focus on only it.  There are also 2d4+1 Cultists (Level 1 Clerics).  If it is after business hours, Dorigon is also here.  Dorigon is a 3rd Level Cleric with the Death and Liberation domains.  The Blink Dog is also here, trapped in a cage (good lock, DC: 20 strength check or open locks check) with runes of Teleport Trap (as per the spell).  If the players free the Blink Dog, he will aid the adventurers in slaying the cultists and continue with them as a loyal companion as long as the party will have him.  

After the PC’s recover the Ghost Voice Helmet, if the wear the Helmet, they can hear the spirits in the room all begging for the PC’s to destroy the helmet.  When the PC’s leave the cave mouth, they will be confronted by the remaining pirates (2d8 Lvl 1 rogues, 1d8 Lvl 2 warriors, and 1 Lvl 2 warrior/Lvl 2 rogue - the captain) who believe the Helmet to be of great value and want to try to sell it.  They will confront the party with a volley of arrows that will be a sneak attack all of the rogues ( hidden in the dead foliage) and the warriors will be on foot, swords drawn.  
If the pirates win the combat, they take the Ghost Voice Helmet and any liquid valuables the party has (gold, gems, jewelry, ornate weapons…etc) and flee to their ship.  The party may pursue them, but that is beyond the scope of this adventure.

If the PC’s defeat the pirates and destroy the Helmet, the island returns to normal.  The Puzzled Nobles with offer the PC’s 500 GP per person for solving their problems, and an additional 25 GP for the whole party if they can explain what exactly happened in a manner in which the noblemen can understand.


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## Shoe (May 30, 2012)

There it is, my monstrosity...I hope everyone enjoys!


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## Waylander the Slayer (May 31, 2012)

*A Dog’s Best Friend *A D20 _Adventure for 7th- 9th level Characters_

*[/u]Ingredients:[/u]
Pious Pawn Broker- Olivar Redd; formerly unscrupulous, but now a devout, and possibly the only human worshipper of Cannubus, the dead god of the Blink Dogs
Puzzled Nobility-  Alisha Thorne, among others, who are confounded by the strange behavior of their dogs- namely, they have all run off and camped out outside Olivar’s house.
Dying Jungle- The floating asteroid/ body of the Dead God, Cannubus, in Wildspace; also home to the Githyanki Pirates
Blink Dog-  Omega Pax, Blink Dog Sage, seeking to reserruct the dead god Cannubus
Pursued by Pirates- The PCs are pursued by the Gith Pirates through the asteroid belt and then through the Dying Jungle.
Ghost Voice Helmet- Spelljamming Helm containing the Ghost of the High Priest of Cannubus

The grey muzzled canine looked up at the night sky, as it did daily, as it’s ancestors had for centuries; studying the Constellations and pathways.  There it was, after centuries, a small green twinkle, marring the usual patterns in the night sky. Omega Pax growled, knowing that the Day prophesized was upon them…
--------------------------
Few, if any, in the port town of Liberty noticed the appearance of the green meteor in the distant wildspace. However, the sudden disappearance of the nobility’s favorite pets- the highly intelligent hairless poodles worth thousands caused a more pronounced reaction. Will the PCs rescue be able to save the favored pets and uncover who would commit such cruelty, or will they become doggie chow?

Synopsis: The PCs investigate the  sudden disappearance of the nobility's dogs. Their investigations lead to the house of the ill liked pawn broker Olivar Redd where they uncover the pawnbroker under the influence of a strange helm. They will also encounter Omega Pax who might help the PCs uncover what’s going on, including how to use the strange helm, leading to a fun filled ride through wildspace, evading the Gith Pirates, and finally to reserruct the dead god. 
Background: 
The Blink Dog histories speak of a time long ago, when Dog and Man lived in harmony with nature; a place where the planet itself was a living god known as Cannubus. The world came under attack from Mind Flayers. In a last ditch effort to save his people, Cannubus released most of his life force; destroying the invaders and himself, for the most part. Miyala Shorn, the high priestess, was gifted a small piece of the godspark- a tiny sapling. She and others escaped the shattering world using a Spelljamming Helm. The came to the current world and over time, much was forgotten by the humans, yet the Blink Dog traditions held fast, as the wise sages passed on their histories, from one to another, awaiting a time prophesized, when  the body of their dead god would be close. A time when the godspark can be replanted to resurrect the dead god yet again. 
 Hooks:
- The PCs are hired by the nobles, distraught over their missing pet(s), who offer a considerable sum of gold.
-One of the PCs pets goes missing.
Where is Fluffy? 
A distraught and confounded Alisha Thorne approaches the Party to ask for their assistance in discovering the fate of her dog Fluffy. A quick discussion with Alisha reveals the following:
-	Fluffy  is a special breed of Poodle, bred to be highly intelligent and sensitive to their masters
-	Fluffy is quite loyal and has never been disobedient or run away
-	Alisha may point to other “enemies” if asked; the GM can use these as a red herring as seen fit.
Developments
A Gather Information or Similar Check reveals that:
-	All of the specific breed of poodle are missing; the PCs may leverage this into additional $$$. (DC 15)
-	The breed is very empathic and has been known to be very in tune with their masters. (DC 15)
-	All of the dogs appear to have disappeared around the same. (DC 20)
If the PCs talk with Alisha’s staff, a sense motive check (DC 15) reveals that one of the staff appears very nervous. Further diplomacy or intimidation check (DC 15) gets the staff member to spill the beans.  Namely that she saw the dog literally look both ways and “blink” out.
The PCs can use divination spells or further investigation to ferret out the dog “disappearance.” If the PCs specifically enquire about “dog disturbances” they will be able to triangulate to the house of Olivar Redd. 


Part 2- The Dog Priest
The PCs can observe Olivar, as well as inquire about him. Inquiry reveals that Olivar is an unscrupulous Pawn Broker, however, recently both his appearance and his behavior has taken an odd turn (Gather information check).  Locals inform the PCs that Olivar is always seen wearing a strange helm, and has recently also been preaching about some odd god or some such. Most believe the pawn broker to have lost his mind. He’s also been observed yipping and yapping with dogs on the street, and has recently started purchasing large quantities of meat.
Development
Olivar came upon the helm a while ago- it was pawned to him by a local noble down on his luck. The item had remained unsold and without any apparent magical ability until recently. The appearance of the Asteroid reawakened the Ghost of the High Priest of Cannubus, Myala Shorn. The Ghost Voiced helm compelled the pawn broker to wear the helm, and has possessed/compelled Olivar, both in his new found faith, as well as in trying to rediscover the godspark.  To this end, the ghost voiced helm has:
-	Reached out to canine minds, trying to find those who would know of the godspark, compelling the nobility’s dogs to blink to where he is, and is still looking for Blink Dogs. This has also awakened latent abilities within the noble dogs (limited blinking).
-	Slowly started imprinting on Olivar’s mind, where the pawn broker has become pious, and has now started preaching, and taking on Myala’s personality.
The PCs has a few different options; they can confront Olivar directly, try to take the helm or break in and rescue the dogs.
  If they do choose to rescue the dogs without fully understanding what is going on, the dogs continually blink back to where Olivar/Myala is. 
If they choose to attack Olivar, the dogs come to his defense, attacking the PCs.
If they choose diplomacy in their dealings with  Olivar and succeed in convincing him of their intentions they might be able to glean that the helm is indeed commanding/possessing him. Alternatively, the GM may, if feeling kind enough, reveal the nature of the Spelljamming helm.  It will take a high diplomacy check/RPing to convince Olivar to take off the helm.  Alternatively, the helm may reach out to the wisest PC, it’s ghostly and clearly feminine voice asking the PC to don the helm.
If bonded with a stronger mind, the Helm/PC can directly reach out and find Omega Pax, who is also looking for the helm.
If Olivar continues to wear the helm and the PCs fail to convince him to take of the Helm, Omega Pax will eventually find the PCs.

Part 3- Dogs in Wildspace 
Omega Pax, once he meets the PCs, tells them of the godspark and the need to take it to the dying jungle before it’s too late to revive the dead god. He (and other blink dogs at the GMs discretion)  The Ghost Voiced Spelljamming Helm can direct the PC wearing it, how to navigate through wildspace.
The GM may have the PCs adventure to recover the original “Ship” or have the PCs use a regular ship and via the Spelljamming helm, be able to use it for space travel.
The Noble Poodles refuse to leave the side of the PCs and will travel into wildspace with them.
Some optional encounters in wildspace include Neogi, Giant Space Hamsters, and the Giff. A fun and wild ride through wildspace with the ghost voiced helm continually trying to preach the ways of Cannibus to the PCs.
 The Dying Jungle
The Dead God  and the nearby asteroid belt is the home of Gyth Pirates who are xenophobic and will attack and pursue the PCs. The best tactic here is to avoid direct confrontation and to evade as much possible.
The asteroid itself looks to be forested with the trees slowly dying. In some ways, the dying jungle can be a safe haven for the PCs, as the Blink Dog’s Blinking ability, now enhanced by the godspark, will help the PCs “teleport” along with Omega Pax to wherever they desire.  The  PCs can also use this ability to make tactical strikes against the Gyth Pirates pursuing them.
The dying jungle itself consists of what at first glance appears to be an antediluvian jungle. However, once they land, they will realize that the jungle itself is dying slowly, with the remnant “life” of Cannubus slowly withering away. 
The Pirates will also send a landing party to pursue the PCs through the dying jungle. Deep within the forest, the Ghost Voiced Helm will lead the PCs to the “heart” of the dead god where the godspark needs to be planted.
The planting process requires the helm wearing PC to infuse the ground with a bit of his own life force as well while his comrades battle the pirates. The Poodles will intervene and also fight to the death for the PCs.
Conclusion 
Victory results with the godspark taking hold, rejuvenating the dying jungle and resuscitating Cannibus. Once brought to life, Cannibus will assist the PCs in returning to their home, and will also offer the helm wearing PC the option of being it’s high priest.*


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## Waylander the Slayer (May 31, 2012)

Apologies for the formatting! It sucks to have to work at work.


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## Pour (May 31, 2012)

Soo bummed I missed this! Good luck all.


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## Nifft (Jun 1, 2012)

Shoe said:


> There it is, my monstrosity...I hope everyone enjoys!



 Thanks for getting your entry in.



Waylander the Slayer said:


> Apologies for the formatting! It sucks to have to work at work.



*5:59 PM*. You might've made it with seconds to spare. That's the closest I've ever seen this contest cut.

Now I'll get myself a glass of scotch and start reading.

"_Pouring, then poring_", -- N


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 1, 2012)

Nifft said:


> Thanks for getting your entry in.
> 
> *5:59 PM*. You might've made it with seconds to spare. That's the closest I've ever seen this contest cut.
> 
> ...




Pretty much; the clock on my laptop had ticked over to 6.01 when the post finally took. One of those work days where random meetings kept popping up.


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## Nifft (Jun 1, 2012)

Something came up, I was unable to finish judgement tonight.

Will post tomorrow evening. If the suspense kills one of you, that will count as a concession.

"_Mua-ha-ha!_", -- N


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## Nifft (Jun 2, 2012)

Here's how I usually do my judging: 30 points for ingredients (5 each), 20 points for other factors: usability, evocativeness, originality, and following the rules. I'll discuss ingredient use first.

*Pious Pawn-Broker*: Both of these entries focused more on the "pious" than on the "pawn-broker". In Shoe's entry, the pawn-broker was a standard insane doom cultist, albeit without an explicit divine patron. He is linked to the ghost voice helm element. In Waylander's entry, the pawn-broker was a normal working stiff prior to the events of the module, so score a point for usability there, since his role could be played instead by someone they've done business with before (and the change in personality would then be more evident). Strong linkage to the helm and the dogs.
Shoe 2/5
Waylander 3/5

*Puzzled Nobility*: Shoe's entry showed the nobles no more puzzled than anyone else in the vicinity would have been. They could be easily replaced, and have no particular links to other elements. Waylander's entry used them as the opening act (mildly integral), but the strong linkage to the blink poodle element -- which is used in all acts -- makes them significantly stronger.
Shoe 0/5
Waylander 3/5

*Dying Jungle*: It seems easy to forget that D&D is basically an animist setting, what with dryads and such. So, the idea that a spiritual malady could affect plant life strikes me as both evocative and somewhat original. Shoe also gains points here for tying the dying jungle to the helm. Waylander's jungle felt tacked on. If the ingredient had been "Dying Demigod's Astral Body" he would have gotten full marks, but the jungle could have been removed entirely without diminishing the story.
Shoe 3/5
Waylander 0/5

*Pursued by Pirates*: In both adventures the pirates felt tacked on, just another opponent who could be easily replaced. Neither entry showed strong links to other elements. Shoe's pirates were actively suicidal -- they were chasing an artifact which would destroy them unless they towed it behind their ship with a five mile long rope -- while Waylander's pirates had a motivation that was not original, but at least plausible.
Shoe 0/5
Waylander 1/5

*Blink Dog*: Shoe's link between the ethereal ghosts and the blink dog's planar phase ability was both interesting and original, and tied the blink dog to the helm element. Waylander's blink dogs were tied to several elements: the nobles, the helm, and the pawn-broker. This is how you win, by making elements irreplaceable. For example, it's the fact that they were Blink Dogs which caused the puzzlement of the nobles ("How did our expensive puppies escape?") -- that means they would be difficult to substitute, and that means they were used well.
Shoe 2/5
Waylander 4/5

*Ghost Voice Helmet*: Shoe has made this the MacGuffin item. It has links to the dying jungle and pawn-broker, though the latter strains my credulity -- if I were the high priest of an insane doom cult, and my unholy artifact were stolen, my strategy would not be to open a pawn shop and hope someone brought the artifact back. I'd like to include the pirates here, since they're supposed to be pursuing the helm, but I can't really see how they could have survived their first contact with the helm, nor why they'd want it back if all it would do is _confuse_ them and then make them zombies. Waylander's helm has a reason why it must be a helm (Spelljamming Helm is a bit of word-play, but it's sufficient). It has ties to the blink dogs and the pawn-broker.
Shoe 2/5
Waylander 4/5

*Usability*: Shoe, as I mentioned above, I found the pawn-broker and pirates to have motivations which hindered their use. I also feel that the five mile radius zone of "your PC is now not under your control" isn't particularly useful.
Waylander, between the intro act and the NPCs in general, I could see a number of ways to adapt this adventure to my games.
Shoe 2/5
Waylander 3/5

*Evocation*: Shoe, I really liked the idea of the spiritual depopulation of the jungle. That's a good image which I'm totally going to steal. Waylander, you had some evocative NPC personalities. You left lots of room for a DM to add his own evocative images, and the locations certainly could be evocative, but you didn't draw it out for me.
Shoe 3/5
Waylander 2/5

*Originality*: Shoe's setup is a very standard insane death cult, albeit one where the high priest has a day job. Waylander's scenario brings us blink dog religion and a portentous comet which the PCs actually end up visiting.
Shoe 1/5
Waylander 3/5

*Following the Rules*: Neither entry was too long for me to read. You both get the full 5 points here.

*Total Points*
[MENTION=89612]Shoe[/MENTION]: 20/50
[MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION]: 28/50


Congratulations to Waylander.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 2, 2012)

Thanks Nifft. Your points are all well taken. I agree fully with your criticisms. I fully expected to loose this round since my writing and adventure were very underdeveloped; the last half of the adventure was done in about 15 minutes. The dying jungle, astral pirates, and even the pious pawn broker all needed further development. The writing was also very flat; there was more telling than showing since I was running out of time. 

Shoe, I think your writing was stronger than mine, and I loved your death cult. I wouldn't have been surprised if you had won.

Now where is [MENTION=67]Rune[/MENTION]?

Oh wait.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 2, 2012)

Pour said:


> Soo bummed I missed this! Good luck all.




I am bummed by this too.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 2, 2012)

The judges re conducting high-level negotiations (re: rolling off) to see who judges the final match in R1.  

Do we have players? [MENTION=1861]Loonook[/MENTION] and [MENTION=53286]Lwaxy[/MENTION] ? You guys around?


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## Lwaxy (Jun 2, 2012)

Here, although I'll be busy playtesting until Monday night. 

I'm in Europe but timezone matters little as I'm a night owl.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 2, 2012)

Sounds like match four will need to have a Monday start, then.  We'll see what [MENTION=1861]Loonook[/MENTION] can work with.  

-rg


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## Shoe (Jun 2, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer said:


> Thanks Nifft. Your points are all well taken. I agree fully with your criticisms. I fully expected to loose this round since my writing and adventure were very underdeveloped; the last half of the adventure was done in about 15 minutes. The dying jungle, astral pirates, and even the pious pawn broker all needed further development. The writing was also very flat; there was more telling than showing since I was running out of time.
> 
> Shoe, I think your writing was stronger than mine, and I loved your death cult. I wouldn't have been surprised if you had won.
> 
> ...




I knew you had this one as soon as I read your entry, non-traditional concepts are hard to pull of, and you did spectacularly.  My first idea I scrapped was a hackers/super hero setting, but I just couldn't fit in the damn jungle.  Ghost voice helm virus , blink dog as the code name of a wonder-pet sidekick, software pirates ... But I just couldn't work in the jungle AND the pawn broker AND nobility (since there isn't really nobility in modern day).

Good luck next round
-Shoe


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## Loonook (Jun 2, 2012)

Radiating Gnome said:


> Sounds like match four will need to have a Monday start, then.  We'll see what [MENTION=1861]Loonook[/MENTION] can work with.
> 
> -rg




No need to call twice in 3 hours... Some of us have different schedules .

I'll be ready Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 4, 2012)

We will start today -- how about Noon EST?  You guys going to be ready?


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 4, 2012)

[MENTION=53286]Lwaxy[/MENTION] and [MENTION=1861]Loonook[/MENTION], you guys ready to party like it's 1999?


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 4, 2012)

_Okay, I can't wait any longer, so I'm going to go ahead and post ingredients. You both indicated that today would work, and I'll just have to assume that you're just AFK right now and will get these ingredients later tonight.  If there are problems, let me know, we'll figure something out. _

*Round 1 Match 4: Lwaxy vs. Loonook*

Ingredients:
Awakened Bear
Sinking Island
Esoteric Scholar
Family Reunion
Treehouse
Gauntlets of Ogre Power


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## Lwaxy (Jun 4, 2012)

I'm here, can get started after dinner


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## Loonook (Jun 4, 2012)

Lwaxy said:


> I'm here, can get started after dinner




Ready to go... But what is the Word Count Limit?  Also, image limit?

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 4, 2012)

The rules are on page 2


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 4, 2012)

2000 words. Images and stat blocks neither required or encouraged.


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## Loonook (Jun 5, 2012)

*Secrets of the Green: A Fantasy Tale for 4 Stalwart Adventurers*







*Cast: *

_Widows Hawken:_ Three ladies (Prata – Silvery-blond, bichromatic eyes, terse, has a cat in tow, eats roast hare, lives in the Seaside Tower, Loira – Golden hair (short), brown eyes, firm, lives for the hunt, carries a falcon on shoulder, and Ruivo – Red long hair, green eyes, reserved, drinks heavily, eldest) of Fiddler’s Crown.  One sister, Bianca, died of sorrow leaping from Widow’s Walk Peak.
_Lords Greencup:_  Four lads (Baixista - Eldest, stout and strong, brown hair, jovial, Passaro – Blond hair, blue eyes, quick-witted, Lebre – Black hair, green eyes, legitimized bastard, Peixe – Silver-haired, grey eyed, child) disappeared before the Wedding.
_Lord Emon Malmsey of Eberhardt_ – Skilled arcane scholar of esoteric knowledge, currently in a state of disrepair.
_Master of Mirth_ – Middle-aged, potbellied, salt/pepper brown eyes, happy, quick-witted, and master of the Greencup Tourney.
_Sir Filo_ – Love-besotted knight-retainer and hopeful for Prata’s widowed hand. 
_The Greencup_ – An item of power capable of creating the wielder’s imagined terrain through blood and magic.
_The Saboteur_ – A wicked creature who holds the secrets of Thistledown and Fiddler’s Crown.

*Background*






Fiddler’s Crown and the Widows of Hawken are known throughout the land.  Beautiful women who lost their betrothed on the eve of their weddings, the Ladies hold a tournament in honor of their beloved each year.  Buttressed between Widow’s Walk Peak and the Quiet Forest, Fiddler’s Crown is the castle that guards the Tree of the Worlds, built high within its branches and overlooking sea and land.  The Crown is applauded for its beautiful architecture, and the beautiful aquaculture contained within the room known as the Seaside Solarium.   The Greencup Tourney is a place for the Masters of Mirth, a group of skilled court magicians, to show their skills.  And when a knight of notable bearing comes to court, the players are caught up in a tale of a jugged mage, twisted love, and a mother’s betrayal.  

*Introduced By:*

Party spellcasters are invited by a fellow of some note to attend and compete for a grand prize in the Tourney of Creation at Fiddler’s Crown.
Warriors far and wide tell of a prize worth its weight in jewels given by three widows of unsurpassed beauty.
A herald of the Hawken Widows rides through town, spreading word of the Greencup tourney and challenging all of skill and courage to battle the Tourney’s powerful challenges.

*Act 1: The Widows of Hawken and the Greencup:*

The Tourney at Fiddler’s Crown begins anew.  Mages of note travel to create traps and monsters for the Grand Hunt.  The tourney is a day-long search for the Emerald Chalice, an given the Widows upon the elimination of the Greencup Bloodline.  This year’s site is a mystic island environment built from the designs of the Master of Mirth and populated by the creations of the mage’s contest.  The Master has created a grand multilayered desert island dungeon, populated by various beautiful natives, spiraling up with views of the interior provided by the Mages through elaborate illusions for spectactors.  

Twelve men are allowed into the Dungeon, from the bottom to the top, and as soon as one man reaches the next layer the lowest layer descends into the sea, slowly drowning any below.  Any individuals who are ‘drowned’ In such a manner immediately trigger a water-breathing effect and are brought to safety by spotters.  When the Greencup is taken everything shifts; structures weaken and the terrain buckles.  It is an escape scenario to get away before being sucked down without flight or teleportation.  

*Act 2: Accusations, The Jugged Mage, and a Trip Beneath the Canopy.*

The instability of the Greencup is unexpected, and Mirth is furious.  The players see the Master speaking into a large cone attached to a barrel.  The barrel contains Lord Emon Malmsey, the Jugged Mage.  A scholar of architectural spellcraft and transmutative illness, Malmsey’s poultice recipes are legendary. Living inside a hyperbaric cask to pressurize his body, afflicted with a expansive polymorphic curse.  Malmsey examines the item and if asked discusses regarding polymorphic instability/psychosis, and other magic illnesses.

A strange new fault within the Greencup is spotted by the Malmsey and Mirth The mage’s discussion, leads to the Greencup family and the disappearance of the young knights.  The ladies tell the tale; how they were promised to the Greencups, keepers of the Worldtree’s trunk.  Thistledown, home of Greencup, lie below these fifteen years, along with answers.

The party is beset by invisible creatures in the night, winds that attempt to throw them off the criss-crossing walkways to death below.  They find a scrap of fabric with the symbol of Eberhardt upon it.  Malmsey, if still trusted, suggests a trip below.

The Worldtree’s deep trunk descends, protected by the Earth.  Travel is made on a rickety spiral ramp (The Great Thread), with small buildings for rest.  Sounds of wildlife chatter, and some buildings may contain beasts enthralled by the saboteur.  Long branches as thick as a waist radiate away, allowing access to the Canopy.  Several spots along the path have been broken by brute force, a broken Hawken ax visible.  Creatures seem to stalk the players, and eyes can be seen shining from the canopy on the hours-long descent. 

*Act 3: Thistledown, Lady of the Ruins, and A Sister’s Shame.*

Thistledown has been reclaimed by nature, but the land is still viable.  Greencup banners hang above the gates of the estate.  More spartan than Fiddler’s Crown, Thistledown’s walls are bare, and various beasts nest within.
In the throne room sits a bear wearing a crown made of gold, covered in thistle flowers, with a beautiful girl with alabaster skin sitting in its lap.  The girl, when she opens her eyes, has clearly seen better days, as her eyes have been torn from her face and replaced with two silver coins.  She seems to sense the party, coming out of the bear’s lap and straightening her skirts.

The bear ponders the newcomers, and then speaks in a deep bass voice.  He asks how the PCs have come to his manor, and why he and his love are disturbed.  If asked, the bear claims to be Lord Shardin Baixista, Lord of Thistledown and Protector of the Land Below.  If angered the bear becomes enraged, charging the characters to “tear from root and branch”

When bloodied the bear cries off, and explains.   His soul, along with the souls of his brothers, has been trapped within the forms of animals by foul magic just after he found Bianca’s body.  Though it was claimed she jumped over the Widow’s Walk for love of a stablehand, the truth is that she was cast down to die in the Land Below by Prata when she was caught in bed with Baixista. He claims Fiddler’s Crown cursed them to live as the animals of their nature.  

Baixista, hearty and stout, was changed to a bear.  Passaro, the handsome ranger, became an eagle and flew afield.  Lebre, lusty and quick, turned  to a hare.  None know the faith of Peixe, Bianca’s betrothed.  Bianca wishes to return to the Land Above, and reclaim her birthright.  The curse placed upon the brothers seems to be immutable, and Bianca has tried all of the skills she learned in her tutelage with Lord Malmsey before his disease.  Skilled in shapechanging, Bianca can take the form of any natural creature.

*Interlude: The Lady’s Favored and the Battle of Thistledown.*

Outside Thistledown on the Thread a dozen large warriors bearing Hawken colors attack.  Some of the men are recognizable from the house, with Sir Filo wearing _The Lady’s Favor_. 

Sir Filo has been promised the hand of the Silver Lady Hawken if he can murder the group.  The rest are under an enthrallment.  When Filo is killed the enchantment is broken, and the guards will rally behind Lady Bianca.

*Act 4: The Family Secret, Closing*

The players leave Thistledown and learn Passaro has stayed beside his Lady as a hawk since his transformation.  Prata is exposed as the Hawken Family Secret.  When House Hawken built Fiddler’s Crown they sacrificed seven peasant maids to protect their household.  From this corruptive influence a creature rose to stalk the Hawken line, slowly corrupting the world outside of its demense and reveling in destruction…  Until the Greencup.  Now she hopes to use the Greencup to buy her freedom, creating a new bond between herself and the Cup so she may pass freely through the world.

The creature chooses the youngest Hawken maid, and traps her soul in its dying shell.  It failed its last swap when Bianca was deflowered and threw the girl down the Tree in rage.  This rage turned Bianca Revenant.  To marshal her power for ritual the Lady changed the lads before Prata could be married.  

The Lady is a corrupted form of dryad witch, and her Favor was the curse’s focus.  Challenged, she enthralls, curses, and obfuscates.   First she ruptures Lord Malmsey’s tank, causing a Medium-sized pudding to erupt from his cursed body once/round, which combine together 2:1 per size category.  Once defeated and the gauntlets are broken the curse will be lifted, and Bianca dies avenged.

Lord Malmsey’s condition is not reverted.  However, a book that can be found in ‘Prata’s’ diary contains an entry about a witch who came through Fiddler’s Crown disguised as a cook, and who dwells in the Quiet Forest.
Loose Ends:  There are small plot pieces that may be found within the overall setting of the adventure.  If the PCs look into them through Gathering of Information, the fate of the maiden sacrifices, a cure for Lord Malmsey, the summoner of the air elementals, and the corrupter of the Greencup may be found.

*Side Quest: A Trip to Eberhardt.*
The Village of Tinkers, Eberhardt is Lord Malmsey’s home.  If the players wish to investigate the attack on the walkways the Village is filled with magicians who make magic trinkets and potions.  Their runoff, Opal Pond, causes strange effects when imbibed or placed on the skin.  The Lady’s accomplice, Malmsey’s apprentice Leopold, will stalk the party back.  He will attempt to foolishly ambush the party via flight.  If dispelled over the Pond he turns into a swarm of micro-Leopolds that fight to the death.  The old Master of Fiddler’s Crown, Donton, lives in Eberhardt and has tales of strange happenings with the youngest daughters.

*Side Quest: In the Canopy.*
The bodies of the maidens still hang in the canopy in a place where few but the most adventurous go.  Some of the wildmen who live within the canopy, if asked and bartered with, will lead the party there.  The spirits of the maidens are kept in constant torment by the Lady’s dogs, spiritual hounds that bray and tear at their flesh only to leave them to heal again.  If freed the maidens will assist in battle against the Lady’s minions, and destroy Fiddler’s Crown piece by piece.

*Side Quest:  Lord Malmsey’s Condition.*
If the book is found in Prata’s room the Witch may be tracked down.  She lives hidden by many enchantments, but the sounds of travelers will call her protectors to life.  Powerful elementals, the stones that contain their animating spirit can be used to hone in on the witch’s location and a cure for the curse.

*Side Quest: The Saboteur.*
A bastard of the Greencup line was the one to sabotage the Lady’s Cup.  This bastard, a half-brother to the Widows, was promised Fiddler’s Crown for his corruption of the Cup.  The bastard is the Master of Mirth himself, and will battle tooth and nail.  He will tell her secrets if put to the sword, but not before visiting Thistledown.

Ingredients: 
*Awakened Bear* – Shardin Baixista, Lord of Thistledown. 
*Sinking Island *– The Greencup Tourney’s venue.
*Esoteric Scholar* - The Casked Mage, hyperb(ear/ar)ic chambered sorcerer, infected by a mutagenic disease caused by exposure to heavy transmutation 
*Family Reunion* - Bianca and Prata, though not under the best of terms.
*Treehouse* - Fiddler's Crown, the castle of the Greencup Widows.
*Gauntlets of Ogre Power* – The Lady’s Favor, the crux of the curse.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 5, 2012)

*Awakened Bear *– Sharbo, former companion of a druid
*Sinking Island *– the Island of Dokar Muray Arthy
*Esoteric Scholar *– Lorcan the Elf
Family *Reunion *– Lorcan's sinister relatives pay a visit
*Treehouse *– Lorcan's replacement for a wizard's tower
*Gauntlets of Ogre Power* – the way to pull the lever


*The Island of Dokar Muray Arthy
*

Designed for 4 – 6 PCs 3rd – 5th level. An arcane magic user recommended. With little changes, the scenario can also be used in a modern setting. 


PCs arrive on an island after their ship is wrecked by an unexpected cliff. The wreck is uneventful – they use the lifeboats, but they later find their money has mostly been liberated by one of the sailors. A kraken attack or a swarm of sharks could be added. They land close to the small coastal town of Homedale. The people are hospitable, and if no one acts rude, they will be given food and shelter even if they have no money. They will be asked to do some tasks for the town instead of payment. 

Homedale is no fishing town nor has much in the way of docks save space for 2 ships. The inhabitants will tell anyone the tale of how they were several miles inland, living off the hunt and the woods until several decades ago some mad wizard, Dokar Muray Arthy, did "something somewhere in the middle of the forest" that caused an earthquake. From that day, the island started sinking into the ocean, so they became a coastal town. A druid came by eventually and slowed the process. They could start fishing, but rather keep to their traditions. There is one fisher who settled here to have no competition. 

The party should hear some news doing tasks:

- a bear has been sighted in the forest, but there are no bears in this part of the continent
- animals acting weird, wolves trying to swim off the island, rats storming ships and the birds seem to be gone
- the fisher talks nonsense about aggressive fish 
- the local wizard and librarian, Lorcan the Elf (only elf and wizard in town), had his treehouse fixed. He even hired a maid, a butler and a cook. The maid says she had to prepare several additional bedrooms

If Detect Magic or alignment, Identify or similar spells are used, everything and everyone will detect as slightly magic. Identifying items has a 50% failure chance. 

Talking to the fisher reveals the fish are not attacking, but try to leave the water, which is a sign of an impending catastrophe (knowledge nature). 

If the party goes to the woods (arrange a minor delivery to a neighboring settlement if needed), they will be attacked by a pack of wolves behaving irrationally, including fighting among themselves. There are 1 d10 +4 wolves. Unlike sane wolves, they will not run even when they are about to be killed.

They meet the mentioned bear (which may come to their aid), with a coat pattern spelling "sacred" to any druid or woodsperson. If no one can speak with animals, the bear will lead them into his cave, where magical energy is leaking through the walls (Sharbo, Awakened Animal, INT 9, CHA 10, WIS 7, normal physical stats). Inside the cave, the party can understand the bear, although his manners of talking are confusing. His master ordered him to wait and guard the treehouse which, as he puts it, "is growing on the dark caves to seal them in." Now the event his master was worried about, a reawakening of the sinister energy, is here, and he does not know what to do. He only knows he will need a new cave as the energy leaking in is already tainted, which is how he knew what was going on. Already the animals are fleeing the island if they can, and the others become tainted. He asks for help and will make any promises to ensure whatever is going on will be stopped. A Detect Magic here will show the energy to be of the same type making such spells difficult. 

If the party meets Lorcan, they find him a polite but usually mentally absent wizard (benevolent, 9th level, no specialization, spells up to GM) who spends his days reading and researching. He knows about the history of the island and can tell about the druid who rescued the island and then left to get additional help but never returned. He will also be able to tell them that the bear was with the druid, left behind to watch until the druid's return, but he will not volunteer information, and questions have to be specific or he'll drift off. If the PCs visit the treehouse, they will notice preparations for a reception underway, and Lorcan will mention a long awaited family reunion and that he had been sent to this island by his mother soon after the druid was around. 

If they express interest in the treehouse, which looks naturally grown, he claims it was the druid's work. Asked about the wizard causing the earthquake, he knows Arthy was a sickly mediocre wizard not able to accept his limitations, kicked out by his adventuring party. From diaries found after his supposed death, he was working on a way to turn himself into a super mage. If the party looks at the diary kept in the library, they can't make out much but ramblings about revenge and the mentioning of gauntlets of ogre power he finally acquired to make things work.  

Asked about dark caves, Lorcan knows that there is a corridor off his wine cellar. The workers adding to it broke through a few months back. It ended in sea water filling a lower part of the tunnel, so he closed the wall again. He will refuse to let them check it out, telling them to come back after the family reunion.

Asked about whatever, Lorcan will know about anything the GM wants him to. He rumbles on on the more esoteric aspects. If he does so, he may mention the special energy of the treehouse area but say no more of it. 

Eventually, a ship arrives with two elves who look like they have, as the locals will put it, "escaped from a wizard academy." Shortly after, three more arrive overland from the only port town, one of them a blind woman. All ask for Lorcan's treehouse and aren't polite to those who give them directions. A successful detect finds chaos and evil on all of them.

That night, the bear comes into town desperate enough to try to talk to anyone if he has not been encountered before. Soon after, there is a moderate earthquake with damage to some buildings, including the library. Lorcan hurries to save his books and to erect a barrier around the island with the help of a cone-shaped shell kept in the library to keep a possible tsunami at bay. 

The PCs can

- investigate the caves under the treehouse 
- go in via the bear cave, where the earthquake has opened a tunnel
- wait until morning. 

If the party waits until next morning, another quake happens, making half the houses collapse, and a column of purple energy erupts where the treehouse was. The island will be rapidly sinking, a tsunami will wash over the island doing some damage despite the protection. What happened of the elves, no one can say. All that is left is evacuation. 

If they act and enter the treehouse, there is no sign of the visitors until they go into the wine cellar. The connection to the caves was reopened, and someone has cast ice over the sea water blocking the tunnel. The ice is slowly starting to meld, and a wizard in the party could guess that whoever cast has done so about an hour ago. Crossing the ice requires a balance check. 

There are 1 d20 + 5 twisted creatures down here, their nature depending on the campaign setting. Several more tunnels are partially or fully submerged. It is easy for the party to know the way as they need to look out for the ice. In one submerged tunnel, they will find a tunnel of ice. This should hint at a high level caster. 

If they enter from the bear cave, the bear will come with them, and can carry them over most of the partially submerged parts. There should be at least one fully submerged tunnel unless the PCs have no way of going through. The bear will not go under water or enter the cave out.

In both cases, they will eventually arrive in a large cave. The elves are there standing around an iron table, save what looks to have been the mother, who is burned to death on top of it. Wires connect her to a cage-like conception made of rare metals covered in arcane symbols. A huge lever has turned a gear exposing a room with crystals of different color to the energy. Next to the lever are the gauntlets of ogre power. The contraption does not look like it could be operated by someone of normal strength. A detect is not needed to feel the arcane power. 

Two of the elves are arguing about where the mistake was, how they shouldn't have relied on "that oaf Lorcan" to know when to come here, shouldn't have killed the druid but come back with him and who's fault it is anyway. The only one mourning the death of their matriarch is the blind woman. The husband of the dead elf will make adjustments to the power output by using the gauntlets, closing off part of the crystal compartment. Then he will throw the body off the table and place himself there, putting on the wires. If the party allows him to proceed, he will be driven mad by the energy and attack everything and everyone. There will also be another earthquake, blocking the exit towards the bear cave. The elf has high level offensive spells but won't be able to use them in a sensible way. He will be out of spells save one or two before he connects to the contraption. 

Two of the elves are wearing chain mail armor, a mace and two swords respectively. Treat their fighter level as 2 over the highest level in the party. The blind woman is a seer/oracle who has been using her nephew's presence in the treehouse to check on the progress of the energy build up. She has no spells but a few cantrips/orisons. Unlike the others, she might surrender. 

If the party defeats the group, they can use the gauntlets of ogre power to close the room with the crystals. This will not stop the energy buildup, just the release of more power. 

Getting out of the cave complex is not any harder than getting in, except that the ice has melted and small tremors shake the island. In the village, they will find that the water level has risen above what it used to be. The island is sinking faster now. 

Once Lorcan learns of how he has been used and what is going on, he is more than willing to help. He  will be able to device a method to break the energy buildup and stop the island from sinking, but might need the additional help of the party. Alternatively, the party can look for a druid to help Lorcan. The elf ship is at their disposal now that the former owners are gone.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 6, 2012)

This is a match between Secrets of the Green (SotG) and the Island of Dokar Muray Arthy (IDMA)

I suspect this was a particularly difficult batch of ingredients.  Of course, that doesn't really matter -- both contestants get the same ingredients, so easy or hard, the match is still fair. Actually, from a judging point of view, tough ingredients make for easier judging. Easy ingredients have obvious combinations that both contestants will take on, making the differences between the two entries harder to spot and evaluate. 

In this case, we have a couple of very different adventures, and very different uses (or attempted uses) of the ingredients. 

So, let's start there.  *Ingredients*. 

*Awakened Bear *- in SotG, we have Shardin Baixista, who has been turned into a bear -- while his brothers were also turned into beasts.  It's a colorful, evocative story that this entry hints at, but in the final accounting a man shape shifted into a bear is not an awakened bear. It's close, certainly, but it's a point of weakness -- a better, more precise use of the ingredient might be enough to tip this ingredient towards IDMA.  

So, what do we have in IDMA? An intelligent animal companion? Sharbo is an awakened animal, and so at least covers the letter of the ingredient. The stained fur spelling "sacred" to me felt a little too much like a Charlotte's Web moment ("That's Some Bear!"??).  His role is to maybe help the players, but also point them in the direction of the problems on the island - herald or gatekeeper.  

The image of the bear holding the pale blinded child is more evocative and visually interesting than the imagery around Sharbo, but once you're past the imagery, Baixista doesn't seem to do a whole lot in the story. He rages and fights with the Pcs, then blurts out what they need to know to move on to the next beat, and that's about it for him. His "bearness" doesn't seem to matter much in the story -- not that Sharbo's does much, either, for that matter, but at least he is what he's supposed to be.  I'm going to give a slight advantage to IDMA, but it's close.

*Sinking Island* -- In IDMA, the whole adventure is set on an island that is sinking -- animals are fleeing and acting strange, weird energies are being released, and so on. It works.

In SotG, the sinking island is a confusing encounter -- a tournament involving twelve men that I am still not sure I understand after reading over it several times.  It's a "grand multilayered desert island dungeon" that spirals up with "views of the interior" created by illusionists for spectators?  I'm still confused. Where are the spectators? In a spiral, what marks the end of one layer and the beginning of another? 

Then, "twelve men are allowed into the dungeon, from the bottom to the top"  -- are these PCs? Why 12? Does each PC act independently? Who are the other contestants? Do all the PCs have to take part? The mechanics of the contest are also confusing -- when any man reaches the next level the water level rises one level? I mean, depending upon how long it takes to cross each level, if it takes about the same amount of time for each contestant, they should each reach the next level at about the same time, and the water level would rise to the top in a instant? 

Once again, like the bear, the visual imagery is a lot stronger, but in this case I just don't quite understand what your intentions are. Advantage IDMA. 

*Esoteric Scholar* - There's something really wonderful about SotG's Casked Mage. Again, very visual, very striking, very visually compelling.  But, as cool as he is, he's not exactly esoteric (his studies seem to be pretty accessible to ordinary folks) and his role in the story could have been stronger.  Still, once hits cask is broken and he's farting out puddings…. I mean, really.  That's kinda awesome, even if it's not esoteric. 

In IDMA, Lorcan the wizard, has some story information to pass along to the PCs, and he rumbles on about esoteric topics.  He's nowhere near as interesting and cool as Malmsey the casked mage. His esoteric nature is there, but it doesn't really serve the story any, doesn't really do much for him.  I'm going to give an edge to SotG. 

*Family Reunion* - in IDMA, a perverse family of elves gather on the island, but to be honest i'm not clear what it was that the elves were trying to do. They've obviously got some apparatus there -- my best guess is that they're trying to create a "super-mage", and complete the ritual that Dokar Muray Arthy tried and failed to do -- but that wasn't totally clear to me after a couple of readings.  Anyway, there's a group of them, they're family, but that doesn't really add much to the story -- there's on reason that they HAD to be family for the sake of the story, they could just as easily have been a coven or book club. 

In SotG, the "family reunion" isn't quite there in any classic sense. Prata and Bianca are sisters. This is another area of the entry that really seems to suffer problems of clarity.  I'll get to this later when I'm not talking about ingredients specially, but the rough outline here seems to be that bianca, who is somehow all of a revenant/dryad/witch and little girl with clawed-out eyes wants to be restored to life and reunited with her lover and get revenge on her sister -- which is what passes for the reunion.  

I'm not happy with either application, so no one gets an advantage here. 

*Treehouse* - In SotG, the treehouse is Fiddler's Crown, a castle that both guards and is high up in the Tree of the Worlds.  In this case, I felt like the visual evocative power we see in so many of the scenes in SotG fails -- we don't see the tree very much, Fiddler's Crown is only described as having beautiful architecture, but we don't really have a sense for what makes it beautiful. 

Take this passage: "Buttressed between Widow’s Walk Peak and the Quiet Forest, Fiddler’s Crown is the castle that guards the Tree of the Worlds, built high within its branches and overlooking sea and land." So, somehow, Fiddler's crown is all of these things: placed between mountain peak and a forest, and the guardian of a tree that it's also built high up within? So, is the tree of worlds between the mountain and the forest, and fiddler's crown is in the tree? Or do the branches of the tree hold the crown up in place somehow between a mountain peak (high) and a forest (on the ground)? It's both high above sea and land AND buttressed between the peak and the forest? 

And what exactly is this "tree of worlds" anyway? I'm guessing, based on the setting for the tournament (the possibly extra-planar spiral 12-stage sinking island place) that the tree somehow is an extra planar gateway, but it's never described or explained. 

At a certain point, I don't see the value that the tree brings to this entry.  Fiddler's Crown could have been some cliffside keep, with the seaside solarium and the tournament -- the tree adds no value. 

Meanwhile, in SotG, like so many other ingredients, covers the bases but doesn't do it with a whole lot of panache. It's there, it's the setting for some exploration and many of the scenes, but I felt like it could do a lot more. 

Again, no real advantage to either entry here.      

Gauntlets of Ogre Power - in SotG, we're told that the gauntlets were the Favor that Filo wears, but I have to imagine that this detail was the victim of editing or word count, because I just don't see it.  Filo is there, when he's killed the curse is lifted, but.. how is that the gauntlet of ogre power? How was it important that it was that magic item and not some other magic item or mundane things that was the favor? 

In IDMA, the gauntlets are there, so there will be an advantage IDMA, but it's pretty tenuous. You could completely remove the gauntlets and the story would be exactly the same -- a requirement of great strength to operate the arcane gewgaws has been tacked on to make the gauntlets necessary, but it's just an excuse.  Still, they're really there, and they're really gauntlets of ogre power. 

So, at the end of our examination of the ingredients, IDMA has a lead over SotG.  


*Creativity -*

I think that it's pretty clear that SotG has a strong advantage here -- at least in terms of visual imagery. The Casked Mage alone is a little bit of awesome, and there are some other very cool moments and visuals.  

There were places, though, where SotG's creative efforts made things confusing.  The tournament was one example we've already covered, but there are others.  

IDMA, on the other hand, didn't wow me with it's story or visuals or characters. Worse, it disappointed me in a very specific way. 

A title like "The island of Dokar Muray Arthy" is a promise. I was expecting shades of Island of Dr. Moreau and Dr., Moriarty's criminal genius (the napoleon of crime?).    But instead we get a chubby, lazy, failed mage who killed himself and broke the island -- and whose work is the doom of those who seek to follow in his footsteps. Nothing like Moreau, nothing like Moriarty. Remove those promises and I would have been a lot less frustrated and disappointed -- I would not have had an expect ion that fell so far short.  

So, anyway, SotG has an edge here. 

*Playability*

I think there are some moments like the Tournament in SotG where my confusion about what the adventure's intentions are make this sort of challenging. 

IDMA wasn't confusing -- and I felt like it could be dropped into an ongoing campaign with little trouble.

So, IDMA has an edge there.  

*Overall*.  

In the end, I wasn't particularly happy with either of these entries. Maybe I'm just getting grouchy in my old age. There were some really wonderful moments, some good work in both, but I don't think either really quite did what it needed to do.

SotG felt like a adventure that was already written, that had the ingredients added to it. That may not be the case at all, but it really does not read like the story came from the ingredients, but more like the ingredients were shoehorned into it.  

IDMA reads more like an adventure that did grow out of the pile of disparate ingredients, and it does a workmanlike job -- but it only just does that. I was not delighted or surprised by anything in the adventure, and the Title promise problem left me feeling more disappointed in the entry than I might have been without that baggage.  

In the end, though, Island of DMA is a bit more playable in it's current state, and makes better use of the ingredients. so *Lwaxy wins* and advances to the next round.  

Loonook, I'm totally stealing Malmsey the Jugged Mage, and a few other elements, but those colorful moments were not enough to tip the scales. Your vivid, poetic imagery cuts both ways -- often it hurts more than helps. In future contests, make sure that your creativity doesn't create confusion for your reader. 

-rg


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 6, 2012)

Congrats to Lwaxy on moving forward.  Lonook, I hope you play again in the future.  I really like how your mind works.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 6, 2012)

Yeah I should have changed the title after I had to shorten it to fit the word limit. Didn't think of that. I suck with limits, but then, that's the challenge. 

I'm stealing Lonook's mage, too, btw


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## Loonook (Jun 6, 2012)

Meh, win some lose some.  I have actually started taking this adventure seed and making it into its own adventure on my blog.  I actually get to use all of the writeup I did... I had around 8000 words after I spent my 4 hours on the project, then had to truncate down to what I submitted .

You may want to check out the site: I think I may actually start doing this with specific IDM sets that I personally enjoy, just to keep my skills sharp and get myself back to work.

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 6, 2012)

Loonook said:


> You may want to check out the site: I think I may actually start doing this with specific IDM sets that I personally enjoy, just to keep my skills sharp and get myself back to work.



Loonook -

I already subscribe to your site, and had actually just spotted the post in my reader (the tree photo jumped right out at me, after I'd started at it so long yesterday and today while working on my evaluation).  I know you're not done fleshing it out, but it already looks very cool, and I'm excited to see the finished product.  

Keep doing what you're doing. 

-rg


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## Lwaxy (Jun 6, 2012)

Loonook said:


> I had around 8000 words after I spent my 4 hours on the project, then had to truncate down to what I submitted .




Oh wow, you had to shorten out 2000 words more than me.


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## Nifft (Jun 7, 2012)

FYI, I'm away until Tuesday or Wednesday evening. Hopefully there will be a match in that time, then I'll judge one when I get back.

In practical terms this mean the top post in this thread may become out-of-date.

Cheers, -- N


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## Wicht (Jun 7, 2012)

As we come to the end of round 1, and as I read some of the word-count comments, I feel compelled to offer some comments and advice. 

In my experience, take it for what its worth, it generally works better to produce an initial manuscript which is under your word count and then flesh in more substance after. When you  overwrite and then cut stuff out you almost always produce choppy material. Learning to discipline yourself so that you can write under word-count is a very useful skill.

It is also good to realize, I think that a 2000 word limit is not that outrageously short. Magazine articles tend to be somewhere between 750-3000 words. Kobold Quarterly, for instance, looks for articles between 1500 and 2200 words. Articles I write for Pathways have a goal of 2250 words. 15000 words is a standard module, and if you wrote out an 8000 word synopsis (over half a module!), you are overwriting. 

As the contest advances, I urge contestants to use the word count limit, not as a restraint but as a goal. Begin with your broad outline, assign a word limit to each section of the outline and then fill it in so that each section is just at, or under your assigned goal. So for instance, if I have a word count limit of 2000, I would make a general outline including a background, synopsis, perhaps three acts and then a conclusion. I would allow 200 words for background, 200 for synopsis, and then 500 for each act. This would leave me with 100 words for a conclusion. Having thus set my limit, I would only then begin the actual writing. Naturally after I write my initial draft, I can then go back, see what needs to be more fleshed out, and where I might be able to tighten wordage. The resulting product will flow much better than it would if I wrote out a stream of conscious sort of manuscript and then went in and excised 1/2 or more of it. 

None of this, of course speaks to ingredient use or the like, but assuming you use the ingredients well, having a nice flow to your synopsis cannot hurt your chances.


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## Loonook (Jun 7, 2012)

Wicht said:


> None of this, of course speaks to ingredient use or the like, but assuming you use the ingredients well, having a nice flow to your synopsis cannot hurt your chances.




Yeah, and then look at your Anthology and notice that most of them are weighing in over 3000 words on the first page alone... You know, all of the 5/5 rated ones?

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Wicht (Jun 7, 2012)

Length is, in my opinion, largely irrelevant to quality and ingredient use. The propensity of some to want to overwrite what is supposed to be a synopsis is the main reason for imposing a wordcount. If an entry get too long, the eyes of the judges begin to glaze over.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 7, 2012)

3000 words would have probably been fine - most of the take out was the original shipwreck, some forest encounters and the fact that the wizard of back then wasn't truly dead. The latter wouldn't have fit in 2000 words in any case. There is only so much you can put in so little and still make it readable 

I can do an article pre-planning like that, but not creative writing. When I start it  just keeps flowing, even taking a break for a word count might throw me  off. I can try to do it differently, maybe I can develop some method.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 7, 2012)

Lwaxy, when you have the creative flow going, you need to just ride it and let it go.  

BUT that's only the first step. The first draft is always crap. The "real" work is the rewriting. In most cases, I find a piece can be reduced by half just by removing the fluff. 

If your approach to rewriting is to look for passages and paragraphs you can lose, I think you may be hurting yourself. Start with words. What words don't you need? Where can you condense? Which words aren't really helping? You'll be surprised what you can do just cutting out the fluff. 

-rg


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## Lwaxy (Jun 7, 2012)

Yeah I condensed quite a lot. It is amazing for how many phrases you can use fewer words.  I may go back to my essay writing style back from school looong time ago, maybe that'll help. 

In any case, I just ran the full version as a throw in tonight and it worked, if not quite as planned. In the end, Arthy escaped but he shall make a villain to return. PCs of course did everything very different  They made the island sink after evacuating because "there is too much danger of a repeat." 

More adventures from the contest will follow as they fit in  

The GM contests I'm used to didn't use word limits and no list, but pictures instead, very different style. But I'll adapt.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 7, 2012)

Lwaxy said:


> But I'll adapt.




You'd better, because it's 

SEMI-FINAL-TIME

<cue the cheerleaders and the marching bands>

The Ohio State University Cheerleaders and Band - Final Four - Friday, March 30, 2012 - YouTube

The judges are going at it hammer and tongs, preparing the most grueling, sadistic, perverse set of ingredients imaginable.  You may wish to keep smelling salts handy. 

We are hoping to start one match on Saturday, and one match on Sunday. (Pending Contestant Availability). 

Our Final Round Contestants are:
*Deuce Traveler | Ender_wiggin | Waylander the Slayer | Lwaxy*

Semifinalitsts, Please take a moment to let us know:
1. Will you be available for a match that starts Saturday or Sunday
2. Which you prefer, if you can do either.



****
I've set up a Wiki page for Iron DM 2012 that includes the rules and the first round -- ingredients, links to entries and judgements, etc.  This will make a much easier/more manageable archive of the competition.  It's up to date and includes all of the Round 1 action. 


Here's a link:

Iron DM 2012 - EN World: Your Daily RPG Magazine


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## Lwaxy (Jun 7, 2012)

I could do Sunday, but weekends are normally offline RPG/board game/outdoor activities time for me. Monday would work better.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 7, 2012)

Sunday would also work better for me, rather than Saturday as the weekend is normally reserved for family.  I commute to work Sunday nights, and I can think over the ingredients over the drive.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 8, 2012)

I am for a monday or tuesday start myself.


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 8, 2012)

I actually have an exam coming up as it's the end of my academic year, so if possible I'd like to wait until after next Friday.  If it's too much of a delay then any day is fine. Sorry for the inconvenience.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 8, 2012)

Ender_wiggin, I'm afraid we're going to struggle trying to accommodate you.

We will start Round 2 match 1 on Sunday, between  Deuce Traveller and Lwaxy.  

If we wait a week to do the second match to accommodate Ender_Wiggin, I'm afraid we'll lose whatever momentum we have right now.  Could you deal with a monday start for your match with Waylander the Slayer? 

-rg


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 8, 2012)

Actually if possible I would opt for Sunday start. That way I at least have the weekend.


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## Wicht (Jun 8, 2012)

Does Duece Traveler vs. Ender_Wiggin on Sunday 
and 
Wayland the Slayer vs. Lwaxy on Monday please all involved?

Also, due to previous obligations, I will have to be offline from the 16th to the 23rd. I was hoping the contest would be done before then, but at this pace, its likely not going to happen unless we begin the final round on Thursday morning so that I can Judge on Saturday morning. We have a couple of options. For the final round, we can shorten the time to 24 hours. Or we can bring in an alternate judge. Personally, I would prefer the 1st option, but I thought it would be fairer to the contestants to let you decide.


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 8, 2012)

I prefer not goIng twice in 1 wk; in addition to the aforementioned conflict I'm traveling Friday evening thru sat morning. After that I have no commitments for 2 weeks.


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## Wicht (Jun 8, 2012)

Delaying the final round until the 23rd is also an option, but I would prefer not to allow the contest to lose that much momentum. I would rather see an alternate judge selected.


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 8, 2012)

One other alternative is having all rounds except finals be 1 judge only. Then, we could keep a pace of 1 match every 4 days and have the 3rd/4th place match immediately after semifinals . If this is an acceptable cost, we don't need an alternate judge and I can have time to study. 

Although even then it's a bit of a slow pace. How long would it take to get an alternate judge?


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 8, 2012)

Wicht said:


> Does Duece Traveler vs. Ender_Wiggin on Sunday
> and Wayland the Slayer vs. Lwaxy on Monday please all involved?
> 
> Also, due to previous obligations, I will have to be offline from the 16th to the 23rd. I was hoping the contest would be done before then, but at this pace, its likely not going to happen unless we begin the final round on Thursday morning so that I can Judge on Saturday morning. We have a couple of options. For the final round, we can shorten the time to 24 hours. Or we can bring in an alternate judge. Personally, I would prefer the 1st option, but I thought it would be fairer to the contestants to let you decide.




This works well for me.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 8, 2012)

That's a viable alternative.  BUT were we to run with that, I'd want to have ALL contestants agree to it ahead of time -- you're all taking a big risk -- Iron DM judging is _VERY_ subjective. There's a certain amount of protection in the three-judge system.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 9, 2012)

Radiating Gnome said:


> That's a viable alternative.  BUT were we to run with that, I'd want to have ALL contestants agree to it ahead of time -- you're all taking a big risk -- Iron DM judging is _VERY_ subjective. There's a certain amount of protection in the three-judge system.




Qft.  I dont care when you post my ingredients or who my opponent is, i am ready to go whenever. Bring it.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 9, 2012)

Monday works fine for me.


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## Rune (Jun 9, 2012)

Loonook said:


> Yeah, and then look at your Anthology and notice that most of them are weighing in over 3000 words on the first page alone... You know, all of the 5/5 rated ones?
> 
> Slainte,
> 
> -Loonook.




A few things to note:

1= Those (entirely subjective) ratings have nothing to do with whether or not the entries in question were good Iron DM entries.  The Anthology was compiled as a resource to DMs looking to use those adventures and the ratings reflect that purpose only.

2= Most of those entries did not have a specific word-count limit.

3= Most of those entries had a 24 hour time-limit.  Given a 48 hour time-limit, entrants need _some_ kind of challenging parameter to maintain the integrity of the *IRON* DM Tournament.  The word-count limit fulfills this imperative quite nicely.


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## Loonook (Jun 9, 2012)

Rune said:


> A few things to note:
> 
> 1= Those (entirely subjective) ratings have nothing to do with whether or not the entries in question were good Iron DM entries.  The Anthology was compiled as a resource to DMs looking to use those adventures and the ratings reflect that purpose only.
> 
> ...




If that is the system you want I would suggest (to speed up the process and get things done) 4 'Quick' rounds of 24 hours/2000 word limits with a smaller item list, THEN making the 'Masters' rounds into a series of 3 rounds based on points and 48 hour runs, eliminating the bottom individual from each round.

You judge 8 writeups in your 1st round, then 4, 3, and 2 in the subsequent rounds.

But that's just how I would do it, as someone who runs quiz games and creative games for a local .  TBH 24 hours is only Internet time: I would love to do this live with 1 hour and 2 hour time frames, wrapping it all up over one day .

Slainte,

-Loonook.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 10, 2012)

Sounds good but is a bit impractical, most weeks 24hrs wouldn't work for me so well. I'm much more happy with the limit and will eventually get how to do it. 

But maybe I'll put out a challenge kinda opposed to the Iron GM - with a minimum word count (the fluff needs to make sense of course). I just have no idea what to call it. Fluffy GM?


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## Wicht (Jun 10, 2012)

Deuce Traveler, Ender Wiggin - I'll post your ingredients at approximately 4:00 pm EST today for Round 2, match 1.


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 10, 2012)

Ok, sounds good.


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## Wicht (Jun 10, 2012)

Ack. Running late. Sorry for the delay and wait.  

Deuce Traveler, Ender Wiggin; here are your ingredients for Round 2 Match 1. You have until 4:45 pm EST to use the following in an adventure synopsis:

Bundle of Straw
Forlorn Cyclops
Gaudy Gangster
Abandoned Foundry
Powerful Suit
Drum

Good Luck Gentlemen!


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 10, 2012)

Gl hf.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 11, 2012)

Wicht said:


> Ack. Running late. Sorry for the delay and wait.
> 
> Deuce Traveler, Ender Wiggin; here are your ingredients for Round 2 Match 1. You have until 4:45 pm EST to use the following in an adventure synopsis:
> 
> ...




Wow.  Just wow.  4:45 EST of Tuesday it is.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 11, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer and Lwaxy, I'll post your ingredients today -- we'll shoot for a 3pm EST start.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 11, 2012)

Cool. 

Of course now, of all times, I get eye migraines lol Won't stop me though.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 11, 2012)

Radiating Gnome said:


> Waylander the Slayer and Lwaxy, I'll post your ingredients today -- we'll shoot for a 3pm EST start.



Looking forward to it.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 11, 2012)

*Round 2 Match 2: Waylander the Slayer vs Lwaxy

Ingredients:
*Artist's Studio
The Final Dragon
Battered Manuscript
Suspended Clergyman
Checks and Balances
Robe of Bones

Due by 4 pm EST Wednesday.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 12, 2012)

Thank you.


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 12, 2012)

*Iron DM 2012 Round 2: ender_wiggin vs. Lwaxy*

*Ambush in the Armatorium*
A ‘paragon-tier’ adventure for a high-fantasy setting

*Adventure Background
*
*Isadora the Tyrant*
A hundred years ago, the land belonged to Queen Isadora, who ruled with an iron fist and bloody sword. Although erudite historians point out that Isadora in fact made a number of critical changes that revolutionized the kingdom from poor feudal state to booming industrial empire, her holocaust of ethnic and cultural traditions and her violent asphyxiation of political opposition earned her the colloquial name the Tyrant Queen. As ruler, she constructed a number of arcane factories - _armatoria_ - that could purportedly print arcane sigils onto the surface of liquid adamantite. Isadora used these armatoria to equip her soldiers with cutting edge magical arms, which allowed her to maintain martial law for years. In the end, it was betrayal that cost the Queen her throne and her life, and the ensuing anarchy destroyed any social progress the Isadora had spent her life working toward. A symbol of her hate and despotism, the armatoria were quickly dismantled. But rumors circulate of additional armatoria built by the queen as an auxiliary resource in anticipation of widespread revolt. These sleeper factories are said to lie hidden in the crevices of the Queen’s kingdom, awaiting activation.

*Sunny Side Sorel*
Sorel Montagne is an aging drug kingpin. He calls himself Sorel the Extravagant, but is known better on the streets as ‘Sunny Side Sorel’ because of his relentlessly cheerful affect, which is anywhere from deceptively charming (when doing business) to psychotic (when flaying a man alive). Hand in hand with his disposition is his sense of fashion, an amalgamation of springtime pastels, exquisite jewelry, and nauseating patterns. Sorel’s obsession with his attire is unparalleled: to acquire buttons made from gold dragonbone, Sorel slew a dragon; to make a coattail out of peacock feathers, Sorel bred thousands of peacocks until one was sired with the perfect brilliant rainbow. Sorel’s organization derives the majority of its income from growing, processing, and selling ambrilic hair in bulk. Ambrilic hair is a magical cereal plant whose grain contains a potent psychostimulant. Harvesting the grain allows multiple drug modalities to be created - a potion to be imbibed, a candle to be ignited and inhaled, a powder to be snorted, even a long-lasting paste that is applied topically. These modalities are all high-priced. To cater to low-income markets, Sorel utilizes the leftover straw, which contains very small amounts of the active substance, and rolls cigars out of them.

*Sile Moireach*
An underboss within Sorel’s organization, Sile enforces order upon Sorel’s drug fields. These hundreds of acres of farmland, tucked away in a clandestine corner of the kingdom, flourish with ambrilic hair. Sile is in many ways Sorel’s foil. She is economic with words, spartan with dress, and is brutally efficient in her work. Her temper is infamous and she wears a scowl like Sorel wears diamond. Inducted into Sorel’s army of orphan child soldiers a decade ago (mostly orphaned by him, no less), she has never paid her loyalty much attention. Now in her early twenties, she has discovered Isadora to be an icon of feminine power, and she idolizes the late Tyrant Queen. Sile has began to consider Sorel’s inevitable retirement (by choice or otherwise) and has learned from Isadora’s actions that power goes to those who take it. Serendipitously, Sile’s lackeys have recently discovered, hidden underneath the soil, one of Isadoria’s fabled armatoria. Within it, they see a dusty vault and undecipherable runes. Sorel sees a thumb ring of sigil-etched adamantite. Sile sees a coup.

*The Armatorium*
The armatorium is a massive structure that is entirely buried underneath the surface. Its principal function is to liquefy rare metal, enchant it with any number of magical effects, and cast the metal into a functional shape -- whether that be weapon, armor, or jewelry. The core of the facility is a cylindrical drum with its long axis parallel to the ground. The exterior of this device is modular and can be fitted with various molds. The interior of each mold can be laced with runes, each encoding a spell to be delivered onto the surface of the metal. When the machinery runs, liquified metal pours down onto the drum while it slowly spins, filling the molds. A powerful, consistent energy beam is applied to a tangent of the drum’s surface. The runes underneath the metal are triggered by the passing beam, delivering its spell onto the semi-formed cast. The metal continues to cool as it runs along the underside of the drum, and falls out at the nadir of the its rotation. By this process, the Tyrant Queen transformed what was historically a tedious, barbaric process into a standardized assembly line.

When Isadora built the armatoria, she charmed a group of cyclops giants to work as servants within. They were intensely loyal to her, a product of both the magic she used and their innate docility. She picked these creatures for several additional reasons: (1) they could, from their eye, deliver a beam of energy strong enough to activate the runes or melt most rare metals, (2) they live very long on very little food, (3) they were strong enough to do all of the necessary heavy lifting, and (4) their skin was thick enough to protect them from the constant bombardment of errant arcane energy when the drum was cycling. To protect lesser mortals, the queen invented the suncoat, an abjurative vestment, for moving around the facility while it was active.

The armatorium that Sile found is fully functional, except that it has not yet been stocked with raw rare metal. The handful of cyclops that were effectively imprisoned here have enough food and supply to survive at least another century, and they eagerly await their master’s return. Sile, clever as she is tempered, has exploited the cyclops sense of abandonment, easily tricking the dull creatures into thinking that she is the queen.

*Adventure Mechanics*

*Hook*
The PCs are hooked into the adventure by Sorel Montagne. He is a businessman, not an arcanist, and he needs someone to help him activate the armatorium. Why the PCs would help him is campaign dependent. A few options are outlined:

They are friendly with Sorel and wish to help an ally, and/or Sorel will pay them.
They owe Sorel something and the gangster has more muscle than they care to oppose.
They secretly want to bring Sorel down, and this mission is a perfect way to corner the drug lord in a vulnerable, dangerous location, where his vast network of loyal underbosses cannot tell the difference between an accident and an assassination.
They have come from abroad, having heard about the armatorium, and want access to it. Sorel controls it, and thus they must go through him.

*Activating the Armatorium*
When the PCs arrive with Sorel, he will expect them to handle the magic and will carefully watch what they do. Activating the facility is a multifaceted test of the PCs exploration ability.

A character with level-appropriate arcane competence can study the factory to understand the basics of how it works and how to turn it on.
The cyclops, who are largely dimwitted, have a very rudimentary understanding of the facility. However, they can provide details on what their role is in the armatorium’s function, which may provide some limited guidance.
Good roleplaying with the cyclops or good skill rolls will clue the PCs in on the importance of having suncoats. Sile has already figured this out and has confiscated the suits for her own lackeys. She will give the group a set should they ask, not wanting to tip her hand too soon.
Perceptive or insightful PCs will notice that Sile has apparently also been using the foundry to store large crates. Opening the crates reveals that they are full of ambrilic hair cigars (see above). Sile will claim that their warehouse topside temporarily ran out of storage space, and she improvised.
The final step of activating the drum, must be achieved from inside the device. As soon as the PCs activate it, with Sile watching, she will turn on them and take advantage of their tactical vulnerability.
*The Ambush*
Sile’s Plan A is to kill the PCs while they are inside the drum, or near it: an exposed location where she can tell her cyclops minions to take shots at. Should this fail, her plan B is to fill the armatorium with a drug haze by setting the cigars ablaze.

The PCs must first fight their way out of the drum. Sile brings to bear a retinue of her lackeys, as well as a few of the cyclops which bombard the cylinder at range. Daring acrobatics involving melees on top of (or inside) a rotating cylinder should be encouraged, with various runes at their feet that can be activated by a successful skill roll or by a cyclops’ eye beam.
Sorel, after Sile's betrayal, unleashes a slew of denigrating gender slurs at his former lieutenant, and then can't help but laugh at his own jokes. Unfortunately, his genius is in words, not steel, and he offers little in the way of martial utility.
If/when the PCs break out of this stranglehold, Sile uses her backup plan. Sile has placed crates full of ambrilic hair cigars in strategic locations around the facility. She will set alight these crates at the appropriate time, filling parts of the massive foundry with mind-altering haze, hoping to hamper the PCs vision while shepherding them into serial traps.
Open ground in the activated armatorium is bombarded by radiant energy any time a rune is activated. Sile will take advantage of this fact to shower the PCs any time they are exposed. PCs can ameliorate this environmental hazard with suncoats, but the awkward coats are a liability in combat and slow PC movement around the facility. How they use this resource is a tactical decision of the players, and Sile will try to outsmart them.
The PCs at various points in the adventure have an opportunity to interact with the cyclops. Hack-happy groups may simply treat the cyclops as enemies, but if they take the time to investigate they have the opportunity to discover Sile’s deception and reveal the truth to the cyclops. If this is done a critical time, it could turn the tides against their assailant.
*Conclusion*
There are many possible outcomes dependent on what the players want out of the complex situation. The future of all major parties can be influenced by the party’s actions.

They could take down Sile using brute force.
In a bargain for their lives, handing Sorel over may earn them ground. This, of course, will bring them a number of complications down the road.
The future of the armatorium after the adventure could go any number of ways. Damage to the facility during the fighting may damage or destroy it. If the DM wishes to avoid an arcane revolution in his/her setting, (s)he may rule that the knowledge of how to fully operate the arcane machinery ends being too complicated to fully appreciate. Alternatively, the PCs could learn it and use it to arm themselves in epic-level warfare.
They can kill the cyclops, or they can give them their freedom, or they can continue their enslavement as an integral part of the facility. If the facility is destroyed but the drug trade remains alive, the cyclops will be sentenced to decades of pulling threshers, without PC intervention.
[sblock=Summary of Ingredients (not included in word count)Bundle of straw: ambrilic joints, ready to go up in smoke by the millions; a trap set by the power-hungry Sile (pronounced Sheila).
Forlorn cyclops: a cadre of lonely pets, abandoned by the tyrant master; a critical part of the functional armatorium.
Gaudy gangster: Sunny Side Sorel, the drug kingpin whose vice is exotic attire.
Abandoned foundry: the armatorium, a marvel of arcane engineering.
Powerful suit: the suncoats, suits of powerful abjurative magic that protect soft-skinned mortals from dangerous arcane energy.
Drum: the centerpiece of the armatorium, which accepts a cyclops energy beam to burn sigils onto cooling metal.
[/sblock]
--


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 12, 2012)

*Going Legit, Round 2: Deuce Traveler vs ender_wiggin*

Round 2: Deuce Traveler vs ender_wiggin

Name: Going Legit

Author: Deuce Traveler

Game Engine: DnD 3.X or Pathfinder

_*Ingredients:*_

*Bundle of Straw*: An item that Nine Finger’s diviner foretold would be of great importance
*Forlorn Cyclops*: A lone cyclops guarding the dismal remains of a once great flock of two-tailed cows on Oester Island
*Gaudy Gangster*: Jimmy ‘Nine Fingers’ Octon, a middle-aged half-orc crime boss tiring of the violence and wanting to keep his hard-won wealth
*Abandoned Foundry*: Failed foundry purchased by Nine Fingers
*Powerful Suit*: The court action, “The People of Sunnyvale vs Jimmy ‘Nine Fingers’ Octon”, which Nine Fingers lacks the financial means to defend against.
*Drum*: Used to coordinate Islander attacks against the party on Oester Island.


The party is contacted by Jimmy ‘Nine Fingers’ Octon, an infamous and quite wealthy half-orc gangster who runs a lucrative smuggling business.  Jimmy has grown accustomed to a lifestyle full of tailored clothes, expensive dinners and polished jewelry.  He has grown soft and sees the new generation of hungry and violent criminals as a force against which he lacks the energy and means to handle.  Jimmy plans to go legit, and poured some of his wealth into an abandoned foundry on the outskirts of the ritzy town of Sunnyvale.  The gaudy gangster hopes to use the foundry as the basis for a high-end limited edition jewelry business, recasting himself in the process as an entrepreneur.

There are two problems.  First, the abandoned foundry is not in working condition as it was built more than two centuries ago by an eccentric inventor who believed that manure from a species of two-tailed cows would be better for the foundry than importing expensive coal.  There haven’t been any two-tailed cows in these parts for seventy years, and the species is considered extinct.  Ranchers found their dietary needs to be too complex when compared to the single-tailed cow.

Attempts to use other kinds of manure have ended in failure, and Jimmy lacks the funds to retool the plant to function for other kinds of fuels.  A diviner hired to solve the problem had a vision of an island of two-tailed cows in the direction of a constellation, and a ship carrying straw.  Desperate, Jimmy hires out a sloop and crew, orders a large bundle of straw for the ship and requests the heroes guard the bundle and ship for the voyage, with the intention of them bringing some two-tailed cows back to create manure for the foundry.

The second problem is that Jimmy is not wanted by the Sunnyvale community, nor is a working foundry.  Over the last few decades manufacturing and farming was steadily pushed out of this small territory, and coastal Sunnyvale became a very expensive community of financial employees and employers who were able to enjoy the long periods of sun and surf without the stench of coal or agriculture.  The Sunnyvale foundry was an ivy-covered tourist attraction until Jimmy was able to show a questionable title of ownership over it.  A working foundry run by an infamous mob boss would be both a distraction and a threat to property values.  The community brought a powerful suit in law against Jimmy, stating that he inherited decades of back taxes that he owes to the community as the title holder.  Of course Jimmy lacks the money to pay such an exorbitant amount, but believes he might be able to bribe some town officials, and threaten the rest into compliance if he can get his business up and running before the back taxes and accumulated late fees from the suit come due.

The party is hired when the straw shipment makes it into the town.  This tightly packed bundle of straw is two feet thick and six feet long, and weighs five hundred pounds, though it comes in a specially made canvas sleeve with multiple handles for carrying.  It has been specially treated with an ancient solution found in old agricultural books that are supposed to provide healthy vitamins for two-tailed cows.  The party needs to protect the shipment for two days and two nights, while facilitating the local health inspectors’ inspection of the ship, followed by an inspection of the straw.  

Because of the obvious importance of this endeavor, the local government sends in the health inspectors with the intent of hitting Jimmy with more suits in order to shut him down financially.  The party must make a difficult local knowledge check and spend time at the town library in order to understand the set of regional byzantine regulations that the inspectors may choose to employ against them for the ship on the first day, and the bundle of straw on the second.  Two successful checks equates to the party members anticipating the inspectors, who grudgingly give a passing grade and allow the expedition to proceed.  For each failure, another suit is slapped onto Jimmy and the expedition delayed for a full day to give the party a chance to fix discrepancies before the inspectors come back again armed with more obscure requirements.  Jimmy docks the party a third of his promised pay each time they fail, as he needs the money for the new legal fees incurred by their failure.  If the party fails three times, Jimmy is wiped out from the suits and the adventure is over. 

There are also elements within and outside of Jimmy’s organization that do not want him to leave his life of crime.  They are hoping that his attempt to become a legitimate businessman fails so that he returns to the fold.  There will be an attempt to destroy the treated bundle of straw each night that the expedition is waiting to deploy.  These attempts are made by lackeys hired through intermediaries, as no one wants Jimmy to track down their efforts to sabotage him.  Treat each of these attempts as an easy encounter, which the party should have little problem thwarting as long as they take reasonable efforts to guard the straw each night.

The crew of the sloop plans to head out the morning after the party finishes dealing with the inspectors.  The sloop complement includes thirty crew members, six shady-looking porters (one of which is another hired saboteur who intends to destroy the straw if he can do so without being implicated) to transport the straw, and the party.  The sloop heads towards the direction of a constellation as foretold by Jimmy’s diviner and will encounter the uncharted Oester Island on the twelfth day.

Oester Island is a circular mass frequently punctuated with large-headed statues.  When they arrive onto shore, the party and deployed porters will find signs of abandoned dwellings, complete with partly cooked fish and dwindling fires.  Many dwellings have a fanged face with a single large eye painted upon their surface, as an obvious symbol of worship.

The islanders scattered at the sight of the incoming ship and headed deeper into the isle and into a network of caves.  The land is barren, and if the characters make a moderate nature check they will realize that the natives have been using up the surrounding grass in their cooking fires to the point that only occasional tufts can be found.  The most prominent feature of the island is a single, spike-shaped mountain in its center, where there still appears heavy vegetation.  Travel to the center should take two days, as the porters will have to carry the bundle of straw over treacherously sharp rocky ground.  The sound of a large drum can be heard coming from the mountain and echoing across the island.  The drum beat being used was an audible signal telling the islanders to flee for the cave networks.  Once the party begins heading towards the center of the isle, the drum beat will noticeably change.  The call for evacuation has now been changed to a call to war.

There are three island chiefs in competition with one another on the island, though they form a temporary alliance in order to expel the intruders travelling towards the mountain.  The center of the island is considered sacred, as it is the residence of the island’s deity, a forlorn cyclops that only the three chiefs and their various shamans are permitted to visit by island law.  The law gives the chiefs sole access to the cyclops’ two-tailed cows, and one of the only remaining sources of meat left on the resource scarce island.

The now elderly cyclops came to this island a century ago with his parents.  They raised a large flock of two-tailed cows on a land abundant with trees and grass. Years afterwards, the first islanders arrived in large numbers and began to quickly use up the island resources in order to create statues in honor of the vain leaders.  It was too late by the time that the three cyclops had realized that most of the trees suitable for creating large boats for transporting them off the island had been used.  They attacked the islanders in an attempt to drive them off, but the humans were too numerous, though the attacks did solidify the community’s cultural fear of the giants and their isolation from them.  Eventually the two parents died, leaving their offspring alone.  He came into an agreement with the chiefs, offering the occasional cow in exchange for a supply of fish and some conversation to ease his loneliness.  The cyclops also asked that the chiefs keep the islanders away from his grazing land, as desperate people have been pulling up grass needed by his dwindling and sickly herd.  The chiefs eagerly declared the cyclops to be a deity and his grazing land to be holy land, and if anyone violated the cyclops sanctuary, they would bring ruin to the island.  The party’s drive threatens their access to tasty cow.

The three chiefs and their shamans wait at the top of the mountain where they coordinate attacks upon the party using their huge drum.  The islanders wear no armor and use inferior stone spears, and are little threat to armored veterans.  Therefore they will attack en masse, trying to overwhelm the party.  Treat them as a swarm of humans.  The chiefs will have the attacks come every few hours in an attempt to deprive the party and porters of rest, hoping that the combination of exhaustion and swarm attacks eventually wipes them out.  If the party retreats back towards the ship, they will be allowed to flee unmolested.  If the party makes it to the cyclops or can somehow find a way to destroy the drum, the attacks will also cease as the chiefs accept their loss and decide it is time to parlay.  The cyclops can be understood as he speaks a rough dialect of common, though the islanders speak a foreign tongue and can only be understood by gestures or magical means.

The cyclops is eager for company and is willing to barter with his fourteen remaining cows.  He will part with half of the entire herd for transportation back to land if the party can bring a boat large enough for his herd and him, an outcome that is probably unlikely in the short term, and would likely reignite the island chiefs to violence.  If the party was able to bring the bundle of straw, the relieved cyclops parts with two of the herd, a male and female, and thanks the party for saving his flock with the food.  If they have any other objects that would be of value to a lone giant stuck on an island, he may part with a single cow.  He also tries to make a trade agreement for manure shipments in exchange for continued imports of straw and news of the outside.  If the party agrees it would be enough to solve Jimmy’s fuel crisis, but they will also have to deal with the islanders who place themselves as intermediaries.  If the party deals with the chiefs, the chiefs ask for a shipment of metal weapons with each trade ship, as each chief wants to settle their overpopulation problem through a war each believes he would win.  If the party decides to take the unorthodox decision to negotiate separately with the regular islanders, they will find that the islanders will be willing to ignore their chiefs’ calls to war if they could receive goods that would allow them to fish for food, such as metal hooks, wood for boats and fishing line.  Finally, the party can choose to kill the cyclops, take four cows that would fit on the sloop and which would provide a bare minimum amount of fuel for the foundry, and fight their way off the island.  Their decisions will dictate the islanders’ ultimate fate.


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 12, 2012)

Oops I'm actually against deuce traveller . My bad . Can't edit, but please note that corrected. I'll edit it after judgment.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 12, 2012)

ender_wiggin said:


> Oops I'm actually against deuce traveller . My bad . Can't edit, but please note that corrected. I'll edit it after judgment.




If I had a quarter for each time lwaxy and I were confused for one another... well I guess I'd have 25 cents.


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 12, 2012)

Yeah I apologize for that. I was reading his R1 post just as I was posting and got confused.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 12, 2012)

Remember:  For the semifinal and final round, each match is judged by ALL THREE Iron DM judges. I'll post my take in the spoiler block below, but we won't know the winner until all three judges have chimed in. 

[sblock]
Wow, I really liked both entries -- this is going to be a tough match to judge. Thanks for such good work, guys. 

This match is between Ambush in the Armatorium (AA) and Going Legit (GL)

*Ingredient Use*

*Bundle of Straw* In AA, the bundle of straw is present in the cigars used to create a complication in the battle within the armatorium. Which is good. But in GL, the bundle of straw is the special dietary requirement of the two-tailed cows, a bundle the PCs must protect and transport while they search for the last herd of those two-tailed cows…. which I like better, so Advantage GL

*Forlorn Cyclops*. In GL, the forlorn Cyclops is the orphan cyclops, being pushed off Oester island and just trying to protect his dwindling herd of two-tailed cows. In AA, we don't have a single cyclops, but a workforce of them, operating the armatorium and as the primary opponents for the Pcs. The CL cyclops was more forlorn, IMO, so again, Advantage GL. 

*Gaudy Gangster* - Both GL and AA had a bejeweled, gaudy gangster, but both had the same problem with this ingredient -- the gaudiness didn't really seem to have much influence on the story. Either one could be just a normal mobster and the adventure would play out basically the same way. I don't see any advantage to either entry here. 

*Abandoned Foundry* - AA has an advantage here because the foundry, or Armatorium, is the actual setting for the adventure. GL uses it, but as background. The PCs never really adventure in the foundry, it's just part of the reason they're going to Oester island withe a bundle of straw.  

*Powerful Suit* - I snickered at the interpretation of "suit" as legal suit in GL.  And, as much as I like that usage, it's again part of the background, not the real adventure.  To be fair, other suits may come up as the PCs try to deal with getting out of town to go hunt for cows on the high seas, but the central, big suit isn't something the PCs interact with directly. Meanwhile, the Suncoats in AA represent a pretty straightforward but effective use of the ingredient. Advantage AA.  

*Drum* - Both are good. I can go either with with advantage for this ingredient, so I think this one is a tie, too.  

So, all in all, after all ingredients, we're caught in a 2-2 tie. Awesome. 


*Creativity* - Both entries are very creative. They're both terrific examples of what Iron DM can be. They both present interesting, unique situations that can have a variety of outcomes depending upon how the PCs want to deal with the challenges presented. The running skirmish in the Armatorium sounds like great game play to me -- and I'm really interested in the non-combat encounter possibilities of GL.  

GL is cleverer -- reading "suits" as "lawsuits", the two-tailed cows, "Oester" island and it's big statues, and so on. But clever is only one shade of creativity, and AA has plenty of it's own -- the details of the armatorium encounter area with it's very interactive hazards (runes that Pcs and Cyclopses can activate, hallucinogenic haze, radiant energy, etc) is also very creative. 

Both have a couple of challenges we see a lot in very creative Iron DM entries -- heavy investment in backstory that the PCs may or may not be aware of/exposed to in play.  I think this is very important distinction.  

In the Case of AA, the PCs, I expect, would get a lot of the backstory as they arrive at the Armatorium. They walk in, see the facility, get a tour, meet the cyclopses, and at least experience that backstory in play.  Things that the PCs learn as they pass through the armatorium on the tour will end up helping them when the fighting starts -- making that backstory interesting and relevant.

But in the case of GL, the backstory is either not going to be much part of the player experience, or will be handed to them in a more expository way, and that backstory never ends up being important.  The PCs have a quest (bring back the Two-Tailed cows) and that's their mission -- the backstory that makes the outcome of their quest important to their employer never matters to the PCs. They could be returning with the two-tailed cows for a bridal feast or as brides for minotaur patrons.  It doesn't matter. 

So, for creativity, I need to give AA an edge, because the real creativity is a more significant part of the adventure for the PCs than it is in GL. But, again, it's a narrow margin. 


*Playability* - I honestly don't see much distinction between the two for playability.  They're about equally able to be dropped into a game, etc.  As a 4e DM and big fan of overblown combat encounters, I'm really attracted to AA's running battle in the Armatorium,  But some of the RP scenes and potentials in GL are just as good, in their own way. 


*Overall*

Well, if you've been keeping up with the math, the ingredients were a tie, AA had a slight advantage in creativity that GL didn't make up in playability, so going into my final analysis Ambush in the Armatorium has a slight advantage.  

Both entries are strong enough to be credible tickets into the finals, but we'll have to pick just one.

For me, the thing that helps me make a distinction is the point I made about the backstory details in AA becoming important in the actual adventure in ways that were just not matched in GL.  Creativity on it's own is great, but when that creativity does things that I think are very important  -- creates interesting scenes for the PCs, rewards the PCs for paying attention to details from earlier in the story -- that's great Iron DM -style creativity. I just think that, while GL did a decent job there, AA does it better.

So, My vote is cast for Ambush in the Armatorium, and for Ender_wiggin. Stay tuned for other judgements. Deuce Traveller, yours was an awesome entry, and I'm sorry I couldn't vote for both of you. 

[/sblock]


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## Wicht (Jun 12, 2012)

Following is my judgment...

[sblock]
*Ambush in the Armatorium (AA) vs Going Legit (GL)*

We have two very different entries here, both with their own strengths and weaknesses. Both were turned in on time, but my processor says that Going Legit is slightly over word-count. Not a lot, but enough for me to deduct a point as far as following-the-rules goes.

Looking at the ingredients...  I think of all the ingredients, I was most interested to see how a Bundle of Straw was going to be used. I think here that Going Legit has the advantage. While I understand that cigars could be considered bundles of the ingredients, I think I would have preferred that the Sile have actually arranged non-cigar bundles of the narcotic straw as part of her ambush. It would have made a little more sense, been simpler (and ingame, probably cheaper to obtain) and would, in my opinion have used the ingredient better. Only 1 point for AA for the Straw, 2 for GL. I also think that the Cyclops for GL was more forlorn than the one eyed monsters of AA, and he was, in my opinion, more colorful. That aside, I just did not get a forlorn vibe from the cyclops of AA. Again 1 point for AA, 2 for GL. The Gaudy Gangster is more or less a draw between the 2 entries, as is the drum, though kudos to AA for its non-musical drum. As far as the Foundry goes, I think AA has the definite advantage, as the foundry in GL is mostly backstory. 2 points for AA, 1 for GL. The powerful suit however, I think is better used in GL. I'll give 2 points to each for their suits, but I like the lawsuit as a driving force, even if it is backstory. All told, AA obtains 10 out of 12 points for ingredient use and GL 11 out of 12. 

As far as useability goes, I think GL has the slight edge. AA is a decent scenario, but the hooks makes its useability weaker as it presupposes PCs who will work for an odious NPC.  I think there needs to be a stronger hook to draw the PCs into the trap. Once there, the scenario will of course play itself out. For this reason, I'm deducting one point for useability from AA.

As far as style goes, I have a little bit of a problem with each scenario, though nothing serious in either case. Style wise, I would like there to be just a little more going on with AA. I think there is real potential there for a survival style adventure, once the PCs are drawn into it, but I would have liked a few more obstacles and challenges being mentioned. Too much time is spent in backstory and not enough in actual adventure. For GL, I think the backstory has a few plot-holes. If the manure from the two tailed cows was so efficient a fuel, then they would have been more economically feasible to raise. If they were too complex to raise in the past, what is going to make them all of a sudden feasible. I am also left to wonder why obtaining the cows is going to solve the legal problems, if the real complaint is the town simply does not want the gangster nor his cows. These loose ends annoy me, though I otherwise really like the adventure. In both cases, I am deducting a point for style. 

In the end its very close, but GL, despite some problems, comes out on top. 

*Ambush in the Armatorium*
*Followed the Rules:* 6/6
*Ingredient Use:*   10/12
*Useability:* 5/6
*Style:* 5/6
*Total:* 26/30 

*Going Legit*
*Followed the Rules:* 5/6
*Ingredient Use:*   11/12
*Useability:*  6/6
*Style:*  5/6
*Total:* 27/30 

Currently, that's one vote for each. Our other judge has the task of breaking the tie. 
[/sblock]


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## Lwaxy (Jun 13, 2012)

_Ingredients, not counted in word count:

Artist's Studio – where the Robe of Bones is
The Final Dragon – what Jahourmon D'Hal wants to become
Battered Manuscript – the Codex of Ascension
Suspended Clergyman – Hanar Windstone
Checks and Balances – the way D'Hal gets his payment in information
Robe of Bones – the artifact needed to complete the transformation_


*Master Piece*

For a party of 4-6 of level 4-7, in a modern/cyberpunk setting or any fantasy world


In a city in a mountain area, the PCs are contacted by a friend (or hiring contact) to help out Hanar Windstone, assistant preacher from a temple of a benevolent deity. Hanar is a conspiracy theorist and doomsayer, and he has allowed his suspicions and fears to influence his preachings. Thus, the temple has suspended him and placed him in financials, as he is good with numbers. Hanar thinks this is a conspiracy against him, probably because of another conspiracy or two he "was about to discover" regarding the temple and its former inhabitants. 

Hanar is in charge of balances for services his temple renders to the community. He noticed a lot of checks come back bouncing. His fellow priest Jahourmon D'Hal rushes in and takes care of them, sometimes tearing the returned checks right out of his hand. One of those checks came back on a day where D'Hal had other duties, and Hanar worked it out himself, misplacing the bounced check instead of archiving it. D'Hal flipped hearing about it. Hanar saw him searching the office after work. He smells yet another conspiracy. He is now afraid for his life and needs the party to find out what is going on.

Given a chance, he'll go on about conspiracies and prophecy of doom the PCs can have heard about, and some to boost. Some of them are known as wrong, but Hanar makes them sound believable. He gives them directions to D'Hal's rooms and also tells them where the archived checks are supposed to be. 

The PCs have no trouble moving around the temple, although the description they have is off and they should take a wrong turn, maybe get themselves in an embarrassing situation. D'Hal's room is, unlike other temple rooms, locked but easy to open for someone with equivalent skills. It is tidy, and aside from a shrine camouflaged as bookcase and a set of masterwork weapons fitting a martial artist in your campaign, there is nothing to find. Knowledge checks reveal the shrine as one of the Cult of the Final Dragon and the weapon decoration from a sect called the Dragon Wings. 

The financial office is occupied. One of the priests brought his love interest for a romantic night. Any distraction making them think one of the superior priests are coming will make them leave in a hurry, but if they believe it is someone having no business here, they might raise alarm. Once they are gone, finding the checks doesn't take long, but it needs a skill check to notice the random letters and numbers on them. They are the same handwriting. 

Taking the checks makes D'Hal is aware someone is after him. Copying works fine. The PCs can puzzle out the section and street of the city from the information, all that is missing is building number and floor. Telling Hanar this shocks him. He asks the PCs to check the street out for him and then rushes off somewhat panicked. 

The street is has a barber, baker with coffee shop, artist's studio with a shop front and more campaign appropriate locations. Shop owners say the artist is weird, mumbling and not quite there. The artwork looks like it. He is making art from all sorts of trash donations other people want to get rid of. The studio is currently closed. 

Next time they meet Hanar, they find him running from a group of thugs. Getting to him first, they can prevent the theft of a battered manuscript in a binder. If any of the thugs are captured, they will not answer and attempt suicide. If Hanar gets killed, the PCs have to backtrack to find the temple has a dark past as headquarters of the cult of the Final Dragon, run by the Dragon Wings. They also find Hanar unearthed old documents. 

If just the manuscript is gone, Hanar has read parts and knows it is a copy of the Codex of Ascension, a description of how to to turn the cult's best killer, the Final Dragon Aspirant, into the creature of legend with the help of a Robe of Bones said to hold the essence of the last mountain dragon. In truth, this can be attempted by anyone, but in the past has never succeeded because the robe keeps being stolen by various groups of power. The cult members killed each other over it in the past, too. 

Putting the pieces together, the PCs now could

- Research D'Hal and the temple at location, bringing them at odds with the temple leaders and  reveal documents of power rituals, draconic artifacts of little importance and an old place of woship closed off somewhere. Some documents mention a large cave temple as a major ritual site. D'Hal has transfered here a few weeks ago supposedly from anoher temple, but that temple will have never heard from him if asked.
- Research in a public archive. This will give them the location of the dragon cave the cult uses for the most important rites. 
- Follow D'Hal. He meets with various cult members, training them in the martial arts and basic magic, and he turns out to be a killer for hire picking up his orders from a donation box he is in charge of in the temple. If they are noticed, D'Hal sets the cult on them or, if alone, shake them off to get them later. When they find his trail, he is about to enter the artist's studio. 
- If they find out about D'Hal's hitman status, they may attempt to catch who is dropping off his orders. This is almost impossible with so many people making donations after services, but if you want them to succeed, pick some powerful individual from your campaign with interest in making the Final Dragon its pawn. 
- Watch the street they've been to before. D'Hal will eventually show up and enter the artist's studio. Before then, they will likely be approached by the locals about why they are hanging around without having any business unless they sit in the coffee shop.


D'Hal will get into the studio in daylight, posing as a customer. A fight breaks out in the studio and the artist calls for help. D'Hal is threatening to kill him if he does not tell him where the Robe of Bones is. Treat D'Hal as a monk/marial artist of 3 levels above the highest PC and some basic magic abilities fitting into your campaign. He is immune to any mind effects the PCs could throw. 

D'Hal flees if he can't win or the fight attracts too much attention. The artist, Kadin, is thankful and attempts to gift them with artwork. Arcane magic users can detect various magic in the artworks, but the man has no idea this is so. He explains he is an artist of abundance, using what others throw away to make a statement. Almost anything he gets donated is trash, but there are some usable things hidden under the "art." 

By now it should dawn on them that the Robe of Bones is part of an artwork. Kadin has no remembrance where it might be, as he forgets about what parts are in where to be able to "see the pure art." If his memory is helped a bit, he can remember who dropped the robe off – the same person giving orders to D'Hal. 

It will take a bit of searching (some of the artwork with magic is dangerous) to find the robe as part of something called "Ogre in a Handbasket." How the robe looks is up to you, but it should be quite heavy, out of dragon bones and not easily removable. It detects as necromantic but not evil. Kadin will go mad and attack if they try to disassemble his art, but if they ask for this as a thank you for their help, he will gladly agree. Getting the heavy thing out of the shop and to safety is difficult. The cultists are watching already. 

D'Hal's followers aren't anywhere close to his level – he has made sure this time no one would be there to assassinate him before he had a chance to transform. What he has not counted on is a power group at odds with who he has been killing for (to get the robe's location) showing up. This should result in a 3-way fight getting the attention of the authorities. 

There is a chance the PCs escape with the artwork, in which case they will have a problem on their hands as everyone they encountered is after them. They may consider having one of theirs undergo the ritual if more research shows anyone could attempt it. 

No matter who gets it in the end, the only way to complete the transformation is using the ancient energies in the old dragon cave. If the party is waiting there instead of going to the studio, mentioned power group shows up heavily armed and armored, with D'Hal their prisoner. They are sure they can control a dragon and want to use D'Hal as their pawn and talk openly about it. D'Hal is sure of himself, going on about he will destroy them once he has transformed. 

The tunnels leading to the cave are trapped (magical, mechanical, technical, as fitting to your campaign), something D'Hal won't tell his captors. This will probably lead to an opportunity to attack as long as the group is distracted. Have most of the traps reset so the PCs can't just follow behind if they decide not to act. If the PCs are going in before anyone arrives, it is obvious someone set off traps. They are unable to enter the cave without a magical password unless the carry the robe.

Anyone can enter with the robe, which moves on its own to float in the center. Once in this state, the robe could only be removed with another complicated ritual. It now awaits the Final Dragon ceremony. 

The party might choose to fight both sides of the conflict, or help either D'Hal or his adversaries. D'Hal will promise them power if they assist him, as most of his cultists ran, being outclassed by their enemies. He is honest with the offer. If the discussion or fight draws out too long, the robe picks its champion. This is D'Hal if present. 

If D'Hal is no option, the robe may pick one of the party, likely the most accomplished in magic and/or fighting. As soon as the robe is on, the wearer is lifted to the middle of the cave again, and the reason for it being so heavy becomes clear. The bones expand with cracking noises, forming the skeleton of a dragon, with the wearer inside unchanged. Then the wearer changes, the body melting and expanding to fit over the dragon bones. There is a 20% chance this process fails, leaving the host dead but the robe intact. 

The type and nature of the dragon depends on who dons the robe. The person transforming has the basic memory and the spirit of the original dragon as part of his mind. Jahourmon D'Hal would turn into an evil type. Hanar Windstone, if by any chance picked, would turn into a paranoid neutral one. The biggest secret of the robes, however, is that the wearer might, at any time, decide to take it off and turn back into what he or she was before – plus the memories and some extra abilities at the GM's discretion. It can also be put on again, and then without a failure chance. As long as one bearer stays bonded with it, no one else may use it.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 13, 2012)

This was lots of fun (and is going to be used ). I had a lot less trouble with scratching out stuff this time around, too.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 13, 2012)

Ingredients:
Artist's Studio- Investigative site and main clue as to the nature of whats going on.
The Final Dragon- Dragon summoned using Chanting; the Final modifies the nature of the beast
Battered Manuscriptliterally battered
Suspended ClergymanArian and Thalidan
Checks and BalancesBalance between darkness and light
Robe of Bonesused to assume the form of the cook; could also be used by the PCS

* The Curious Case of the Suspended Clergyman*A D20 _Adventure _
It’s been a tough few days for the Church of Thaal, Godess of Music and the arts.  Their beloved High Chord, Arian Bold, was found in his bedchamber, suspended in midair, unconscious, yet chanting old words of power. The words continue to flow from his lips forming patterns in the air that bind and suspend him, as if chained. The surge in popularity of Death metal music, championed by the charismatic and morose Cybill Fevere, has darkened the mood of the general populace of the City of Liberty, now blamed for the rash of suicides and other such violent acts.  Will the PCs solve the riddle of the suspended clergyman in time, or will they be consumed in the dark notes of doom that loom over Liberty?
*Background:*  Music is the current of magic, the soul of emotion and life. Yet, music has both darkness and light; something often forgotten. There was a time when the Church of Thaal knew and embraced both sides; not just the positive emotions- love, happiness, harmony, that music invokes, but also the angst, anger, suffering and pain that also is essential to the expression of music, and ultimately to balance. To maintain balance between the two, there were two High Priests - the Dark, and the Light; who made all decisions jointly, and maintained harmony.
The keystone ability of the High Priests was to use a Powerful Chant to summon the embodiment of the power of music; a dragon made of pure sound and music; a Final Dragon. Based on where the Final fell when incanting the hexachord of the incantation, the dragon summoned would be one of the Dark Chord or the Light. As a matter of check and balance, the Manuscript with the incantation was left with the High Priest of the opposite alignment, and only the Dark Chord could summon the Light Final Dragon and vice versa. 
Yet what is dark can often be perceived as evil (sometimes rightly so), and the time of the Schism lead to the betrayal of the Dark Chord, Thalidan Creed, and the suppression of the darkness essential to balance.  During that dark night, the Temple of the Dark Chord was destroyed, with the high priest strung up and left there, since he was unable to be killed. Now his spirit reaches out to one whose musical ability makes her sensitive and susceptible to his influence; Cybil Fevere, Superstar Muscian, artiste, and proponent of Death Metal music.

 *Hooks:*
- The PCs are hired by the Church to investigate the reason why Arian Bold is in his current state.
- Rash of suicides/violent acts occur after recent death metal concerts; the PCs are hired to investigate.

*Act 1: The Suspended Clergyman*
Assuming that the PCs are hired by the Church of Thaal, their investigation starts at the church:
The Church of Thaal dominates the Avenue of Song; it’s massive Amphitheatre serving as both a place of worship, sermons, performance and song. Various musical instruments adorn the walls, along with beautiful paintings, and works of art. However, what captures immediate attention is the frail wizened form of the High Chord, Arian Bold, suspended above the altar, a Chain of Words binding him to the ceiling, and continuing slowly to emenate from his mouth, wrapping around him. The droning echo of his voice reverberates throughout the massive hall, building on itself, forming a strange chant, as if sung by thousands.
Developments
The PCs are directed to Melodious Markant, the current incharge, whose sunny and happy personality can be a bit grating and odd, especially considering current circumstance. Markant tells the PCs what he knows, namely that:
-	Arian, after dinner, went to his artist’s studio to work, and was not heard from till the next morning, when one of the other clergy found his body floating above the altar
-	The Chant appears to be of the old tongue, only known to the High Priest; some of the layman are researching it but have not discovered anything specific on the Chant. 
Any Bard PC or Character’s with the appropriate skill can make a relevant knowledge check, DC 30. The Chant is in fact the old tongue, howerver the Final appears to be off from the usual structure of the hexachord, altering the usual chant structure and altering the power of the chant subtly.
An appropriate spellcraft check (DC 35) reveals that the chant is a powerful summoning ritual. 
*Act 2: The Artist’s Studio*
The studio is a messy affair. There are various half-finished paintings, musical instruments, and artists gear scattered about. On the easel is the current work of Arian; a dragon appears to be composed of darkness; a perception check (DC 25) reveals that the Dragon is composed of notes similar to the ones emanating from Arian.
If the PCs search further, (DC 20), there is a false panel behind a painting hung on the wall. The painting is a door, that leads into a secret studio room. Surrounding them are images of the macabre; of death and suffering, primary among them, the picture of a man similar to “Arian” flayed and hung from the ceiling of what looks to be the amphitheater in chains. If studied closely (DC 30), it can be ascertained that the amphitheater behind the suspended man is different, and more archaic, though similar. 
Remnants of Arian’s last meal- sweet balls made from cake batter is next to the painting. Detect magic or analysis of the sweetballs reveal them to be both magical and slightly odd. Detailed examination of the batter reveal tiny fragments of a manuscript, too small to be even pieced together. It’s clear that Arian consumed something other than just sweetballs. 
Development
Research on the Dragon painting or the painting of the flayed man requires time and pouring over old texts, most of which have been expunged by the church. However, with time and perseverance the PCs come across a historical treatise on the Schism, and also mention on the Final Dragon, and the related ritual.
Follow up on the sweetballs lead the PCs to Big Murth, the cook. The cook has not been seen since the incident. His residence is nearby, and the dwelling is a small and cosy affair. As the locked door is opened, one is assailed  by the smell of rotting meat. The PCs are greeted by the horrific sight of the boneless body of Big Murth; it appears as if the skeleton has been drawn out of the dead man.
Investigating similar incidents and research tells of the Robe of Bones; a magical item that draws out the bones of a person it is placed on (DC 17 will save). The Robe can then be donned where the bones fuse into the wearer; the robe gives the wearer the full abilities of the person killed by the robe for an hour. 

*Act 3: Attack of the Goth Crew [*
Investigating the Robe leads the PCs to the seedy part of town called the Narrows, streets that twist, turn, and often have dead ends, to Magnificient Rosamundo, purveyor of exotic goods and procurer of odd items. Rosumndo is reluctant to reveal anything about the robe, or who it was purchased by- the PCs can threaten or cajole or interrogate him (DC 30). He confesses that the Robe was sold to none other than Cybil Fevere.
At an appropriate time, a set of dozen all black leather clad “gang” of Fevere fans attack the PCs, setting upon them with  spiked chain, tooth and nail, at the behest of the possessed Cybill Fevere.  
As the PCs get closer to the truth of Cybill’s possession by Thalidan Creed, the more pronounced and frequent these attacks become. The mobs waylay the PCs whenever possible, as the crazed and magically influenced fans (mostly commoners) become more and more compelled by the music of Cybill to attack the PCs.
The PCs may confront Cybill at her house, or at the GMs option, during one of her performances, where they have to negotiate through the audience and the crowd to confront her. It is readily clear that the dark music performed by Cybill is adversely impacting the crowd, and impacting their behavior. Cybill also turns her not inconsiderable bardic might on the PCs; it should be clear that she is under the influence of some malign force.  A dispel Evil or similar spell can temporarily get rid of the possession, and also help the PCs get the Robe of Bones off of her.
If the adverse influence is removed (or killed), Cybill has on her, the remenants of an old manuscript, with the prayer pages ripped off (these were “battered” and served to Arian, compelling him to use the to summon the Final Dragon of Darkness. The old manuscript also has the map to the original temple as well as the location to the light manuscript

*Into the Dark Chord [*
The remenants of the Dark Temple are buried in the under city. The PCs negotiate through the various passageways and encounters to come upon the shattered temple. Here, in the Shadowed Amphitheater, hangs the body of Thalidan Creed. The Words of the Dark, appear to be coalescing around him, taking form of the Final Dragon. The Suspended cleric looks at the PCs with pupiless eyes, as he directs the half formed creature to attack.

Development
Combating the Dragon is a tough proposition. The PCs best bet here is to recover the “light manuscript”  and to have Cybill (or one of the PCs, with a stacked perform check) perform to modify the Dark Chant uttered and modify the nature of the Final Dragon summoned.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jun 13, 2012)

That was fun too; though again, lack of time puts a major crimp on things...i am sure it's something that everyone faces!


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## Lwaxy (Jun 13, 2012)

I was worried you'd not manage in time  Cool job.


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## Nifft (Jun 14, 2012)

Apologies, I've been busy these last few nights and haven't had time to write my judgment on r2m1. I expect to have the necessary time and sobriety for consideration tomorrow evening.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 19, 2012)

*sneaks through to bring this back into view*


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 19, 2012)

<Snort> Whoa... what?  Sorry.  Was nappin'.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 19, 2012)

I'm sorry for the delays, guys.  Basically, I think things might be a bit slow for the next few days at least.  I seem to be the only judge around -- We knew Wicht was going to be gone for the week, but Nifft has been awfully quiet, too.  

I'm trying to find out what I can. I'll keep you posted. 

-rg


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## Nifft (Jun 23, 2012)

Radiating Gnome said:


> Nifft has been awfully quiet, too.



 RealLife(tm) can sometimes be a problem.

My fellow judges knew I had been hesitant to sign up for this gig, because something was looming vaguely in the near future, but we couldn't find anyone else who was enough of a sucker to take my place, so we soldiered on as best we could.

Needless to say, the looming time-sink struck, and because I am a bad person I didn't immediately inform you all but instead tried to find time to do my judge thing anyway -- and ended up falling asleep at my PC twice.

I know *Radiating Gnome* has propositioned some potential guest judges, so if one of them is raring to go and wants my place, I will graciously step aside. If nobody else wants the job, then I'm happy to do it.


Anyway, I'd like to apologize to the contestants and my fellow judges, not just for my hiatus but more importantly for my lack of communication. Erring towards optimism is a very human failing, particularly about planning out our time, and by now I really ought to know better than to fall for it.

"_We apologize for the delay_", -- N


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## Nifft (Jun 25, 2012)

*r2m1 - Deuce Traveler vs. ender_wiggin*

It took me some time to get through these. Since I'm last, I'm not going to sblock my judgement. Let's take a look at the ingredient uses.

*Bundle of Straw*: ender_wiggin had the straw "rolled into cigars", which is not something I think of straw as being able to do, since it's not flat. I guess it could be bundled instead of rolled, but then it's not really a cigar. Still, the idea of narcotic straw is original, and could be useful if one were trying to get mythical horse monsters addicted -- minotaurs or unicorns or pegasi, perhaps. Link to the gaudy gangster. 2/5. Deuce Traveler played the bundle of straw straight, and while it's not particularly exciting in its role as MacGuffin, it is a central element to the story, with links to the cyclops and the foundry. 2/5.

*Forlorn Cyclops*: ender_wiggin gave us the cyclops from the X-Men, which shoots power eye-beams and doesn't realize that the girlfriend character has been replaced. This is not the sort of cyclops one would expect in a fantasy game -- they are "docile"? -- and other than working at a forge, they are rather unlike any mythological cyclops. They also aren't characterized except in back-story, to explain why they are loyal to Sile, and the time when they were forlorn is not visible to the PCs. Link to the foundry. 1/5. Deuce Traveler's cyclops was again played straight: he lives on an island with caves, he has a herd of unusual animals, and importantly he is feeling forlorn when the PCs show up. Links to the straw and the foundry. 3/5.

*Gaudy Gangster*: In ender_wiggin's story, the gangster is the target of a coup by a lieutenant. His gaudy nature is written up, but is irrelevant to the story, and his ability to deal with violent conflict disappears in a fit of giggling as soon as combat starts (which would seem to ensure that his career as a gangster would have lasted about 30 minutes total). He's not a central character to the plot, either -- Sile might have been a better pick, if she had been "gaudy", since she does actually figure into the plot. 1/5 for Sorel, would have been higher for Sile. Deuce Traveler's gangster was also only nominally in the plot, but it didn't have to be like that: you gave no reason why the gangster needed a foundry in that upscale neighborhood, but his gaudy nature could have covered that perfectly, and thus given a stronger link to the foundry and suit. 1/5 which could easily have been higher.

*Abandoned Foundry*: This is the setting for ender_wiggin's piece, and the strongest element. It's got links to the cyclops, the suit, and the drum. Most of the useful details in the module pertain to the foundry, and it is potentially the module's reward. 4/5. Deuce Traveler uses the foundry as a justification for plot rather than as an element with which the PCs interact. This is poor use. Ingredients ought to be things the PCs see and talk about and interact with and sometimes stab. It has links to the straw and the suit. 1/5, could have been higher if the PCs were helping with the suit in a substantive way.

*Powerful Suit*: ender_wiggins played this one straight, it's a magical hazmat suit. Has links to the foundry and the drum. If the PCs don't avoid the ambush, the suit is a good clue that something hinky is about to go down, if they see Sile and all her minions donning their suits. 3/5. Deuce Traveler gave us a nice spin on the suit in that it's a legal suit regarding the foundry and filed against the gangster. Those are good strong links. Unfortunately it's also mostly incidental to the plot, since the PCs are hardly interacting with the suit at all -- a lost opportunity here. There's an attempt to tie the suit to the straw, but those inspectors represent a separate legal challenge from the suit, so no point for linkage there. 2/5.

*Drum*: ender_wiggins has the drum as the central element of the foundry, with links to the cyclops who works it. It's hard for me to figure out what it's supposed to look like, but in my most charitable interpretation it could be an interesting fight location if the PCs were actually dumb enough to all go inside it at once to try to activate the factory. (My players wouldn't fall for that.) 2/5. Deuce Traveler has the drum as an element of a fight which is avoidable, particularly to a party of high-level PCs, and which lacks links to any other elements. It's a neat idea, but it's ultimately window-dressing rather than architecture. 1/5.

*Usability*: Ambush in the Armatorium has plausibility problems which I'd need to fix before I could use most of it, including some justification for the novel cyclops species, why the drug kingpin is useless and vulnerable in combat, and how to get the PCs to all go into the drum at once to turn it on. Also, it's only useful for groups of PCs who are happy to help a drug kingpin become a magical arms dealer (i.e. Paladins need not apply). 1/5. On the other side, Going Legit is well suited to PCs who are non-evil, or at least who are presentable to polite society. With some tweaking, it could be made into a very interesting adventure... which means that I see a lot of usable content in it. I'll go into detail on this following the judgment. 3/5.

*Evocation*: I like the idea of mildly narcotic waste-product cigars, even if it makes no sense to have them be "rolled" straw, the cigars are a nice image. The Armatorium with its scattered rays of radiance is an evocative fight location. 2/5. I liked the righteous indignation of the townsfolk who file the suit; it'll be something that sets the player's sympathy in opposition to that of his PC. On the other side, I found the forlorn cyclops with his tale of ecological woe, and the barren island itself, quite evocative; and the image of the chiefs & their shamans on the mountain top with their drum while tribesmen move through the foliage is good stuff. 3/5.

*Originality*: Sometimes being original is not helpful to your score. For example, the cyclops(es) in Ambush in the Armatorium are basically new monsters which don't have a whole lot of "cyclops"-ness, and thus they lose points here and as an ingredient. The stand-out in this category is the law suit in Going Legit, which IMHO has a lot of potential for awesome. AA gets 1/5 (which includes a penalty for the not-quite-cyclops(es)), while GL gets a 3/5.

Final Scores:
Ambush in the Armatorium = 17
Going Legit = 19

Congratulations *Deuce Traveler*.



- - -

I said I'd talk about what I would have done with the law suit, but it's late, and I'm tired. Hopefully I'll have time to write about it some time this week.

Cheers, -- N


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## Lwaxy (Jun 25, 2012)

Congrats


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 25, 2012)

Thanks Nifft.  I'll take the critiques to heart.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 25, 2012)

And that's why we have three judges for the later rounds.  Congrats, Deuce Traveller has picked up a split decision and a ticket to the finals. 

-rg


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 25, 2012)

Master Piece (MP) vs Curious Case of the Suspended Clergyman (CC)

[sblock]
*Ingredients
*
*Artist's Studio-* In MP, the artist's studio is a location the investigating PCs visit as they try to track down the robe of bones. It works, no problems there. In CC, the treatment is pretty much exactly the same -- a location the investigating PCs visit.  No advantage to be gained here. 

*The Final Dragon -* The final dragon in MP is the product of the transformation created by the Robe of bones.  It's all right, but I didn't really feel the "final" part of "final dragon" in this. My favorite test for something like this is to replace the word "final" when it appears with something else -- if that makes no appreciable difference, then that part of the ingredient isn't really doing much in the adventure. In this case, replace "final" with "sugarplum" and we don't lose any real meaning in the adventure.  I mean, what was really final about the dragon? 

In CC, the final dragon is the form being taken by Thalidan Creed.  The ingredient inventory indicates that "final modifies the nature of the beast? but I don't see that clearly in this entry. I could be missing it, but Sugarplum works just about as well here as it does in MP (and maybe better, given the way CC uses "battered".  So, no advantages here, either. 


*Battered Manuscript *- in MP the manuscript that describes the ritual and a dingus at an early stage of the adventure. It works, but it isn't especially cool. But in CC, we get a surprising use -- the manuscript has been literally battered and cooked and fed to Arian the artist. I wished for a bit more discussion of how eating the manuscript pages worked to compel Arian to complete the ritual, but overall I like this use.  Advantage CC. 


*Suspended Clergyman-* In MP, the suspended Clergyman is Hanar, banished to the bookkeeping offices of a religion because he's a paranoid nutcase who sees conspiracy behind every door.  I was amused by the combination of these two ingredients, and there's a bit of fun to be had with this version of suspended -- like a suspended cop going rogue -- that is a potential I see in Hanar.  It's a bit of a challenge, though -- Hanar has a lot of potential to take over driving the narrative of the adventure, rather than the PCs.   

In CC, the suspended clergyman is doubled.  In this case the "suspended" is literal -- at the opening of the adventure, the PCs enter the temple and see Arian suspended in air by his musical chant.  Later, in a parallel ritual, they find Thalidan suspended by his own chant.  Since these two are two sides of one coin, the doubled use of the ingredient isn't the problem that it often indicates.  And while the more literal use of "suspended" works well, it didn't really do much more than flavor those scenes -- their suspension doesn't do anything in the story.  So, cool, but I think MP has an edge here.  


*Checks and Balances* - in MP, while I liked that Hanar was suspended from preaching, and that his banishment to the financial office was how the two ingredients, I was actually a little disappointed in reading "checks and balances" as "accounts receivable". It works, but left me sort of "meh."  

In CC, the checks and balances the dual structure of the faith -- the light and the dark, both having their own high priest, and the two sides lead the faith as a joint effort. I liked this interpretation better, and it gives shape to the story, so I'm going to give CC the advantage here. 

*Robe of Bones *- In MP, this is the The artifact that transforms a subject into a dragon.  It works pretty well.  I like the description of how it works.  In CC, it's a magic item used to impersonate a target it's used to kill. It sounds like an interesting item, but the idea of using bones (interior) to take on the appearance (exterior) of a target is problematic, as is the idea that you have to get the robe onto the body of your target somehow -- I mean, it's interesting, but it's a long way to go and feels like it's just bending over backwards to include it as an ingredient.  So advantage MP. 

So, after all six ingredients, we are tied at 2-2.  Awesome. 

*Creativity.* 

Both adventures are good -- they'd be interesting stories to play through and have some cool ideas. It's tough to draw big distinctions between the two.  

CC has, at least to my mind, a big flaw, though.  I struggle with the description of the two sides of the musical faith as "light" and "dark". It's true that since Star Wars (and really long before that) the ideas of light and dark were bigger than visual, but still, there seem to be so many other, more interesting dualities in music to capitalize on to make an interesting, two-sided faith.  Major/Minor, Harmonic/Dischordant, whatever.  Those would feel like they were part of the music faith. Especially when you're using terms like "chord" as a position title in the faith, why resort to light and dark for the two sides? Every time I read "light" or "dark" in regards to the music I found myself frustrated that a musical faith would be described in visual instead of aural opposites. 

MP also has it's problems.  I struggled with the checks and balances thing -- I was hoping for something better than accounting out of that ingredient, but in the end it satisfies the ingredient, even if it's not a very satisfactory use. It might have helped if that accounting reading were actually made more important to the whole story. Also, the temple or church was a lot less interesting. This is a modern (cyberpunk) setting, so it's theoretically possible that this is some sort of christian church, but the term "temple" is used, and that makes me thing jewish. But, really, there isn't much of any sort of flavor to this faith at all, and given it's role in the background to the story, that could really have helped.   


*Playability -*

There are some truly striking similarities between these two adventures -- they're both investigations and have a very modern feel, even if CC wasn't explicitly set in a Cyberpunk/modern setting the way MP was. I didn't find a lot of style or playability difference between the two. 

*Overall* --

I found these two entries had a lot of similarities -- they struggled with a lot of the same ingredients, and succeeded with a lot of the same elements.  The judging has been especially difficult. 

In the end, I think that I found the idea of the church of music -- a divided, dual-led church -- to an interesting element that I can really see making for some creative, interesting gaming.  While I still struggle with the light/dark thing, it's still, to me, the strongest and most interesting creative element in both entries.  So, by a narrow magin, I'll cast my vote for the *Curious Case of the Suspended Clergyman, by Waylander the Slayer.

Bear in mind, I was the minority report in the other semifinal match, so this might be the kiss of death, Waylander.   

*

[/sblock]

-rg


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## ender_wiggin (Jun 25, 2012)

Congrats to Deuce Traveler, good luck in the finals.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jun 25, 2012)

Thanks Ender!  I hope to see you in more contests.


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## phoamslinger (Jun 26, 2012)

I can step in as a replacement judge for Nifft if he needs some time away.


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## Nifft (Jun 27, 2012)

phoamslinger said:


> I can step in as a replacement judge for Nifft if he needs some time away.



 I did, now I'm mostly back. But please volunteer next time! 

Currently digesting Waylander the Slayer vs Lwaxy. I'll post a judgment tomorrow evening.

Cheers, -- N


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## Radiating Gnome (Jun 27, 2012)

All -

Okay, just so everyone knows what's going on, we're going to move forward with Phoamslinger filling in for Wicht.  Now that Nifft is back, we should be able to get Round 2 Match 2 judging done in the next few days, and then have the finals over the weekend.  

Thank you all for your patience.  

-rg


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## Nifft (Jun 28, 2012)

I am unable to give useful and insightful explanations for the numbers in my judgment tonight. I'll post a (hopefully) eloquent write-up tomorrow evening. In the mean time, in the spirit of music and the arts, a song to inspire us all:

A bard is a guy who can't cast _fly_
Also known as a busker
Always talkin' about how he buffs
And just sits on his broke class
So (no)

I don't want your role-play (no)
I don't want to show you mine (no)
I don't want to journey nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your rhymes (no)

I don't want no bards
A bard is a guy who can't get in my party
Hangin' off the damsel side
Of the Paladin's ride
Tryin' to inspire me
I don't want no bards
A bard is a guy who can't get in my party
Hangin' off the damsel side
Of the Paladin's ride
Tryin' to inspire me​
"_If music be the food of love... that was microwave pizza_", -- N


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## phoamslinger (Jun 28, 2012)

generally speaking, I think most birds are ridiculous looking running around on the ground on their little toothpick legs.

but I do like penguins...


(Standing in for Wicht)
*Judgement of Master Piece (MP) vs The Curious Case of the Suspended Clergyman (CC)*

before I get rolling too far on this, I generally assume that all of the ingredients are there in one shape or another.  the criteria I use to judge are mostly based on three things;

1- sort of a catch-all,  how creative was it, did I like it or not, etc
2- Ingredient usage and substitutability, and 
3- Connections

I don’t really use a number scale or anything like that and my judgements can tend to be a bit subjective sometimes, but I will try and explain if and why I don’t like something, should it arise.  personally, I could care less about length as long as you’re not rewriting War & Peace.  I would prefer to have something complete in hand, even if your word count goes over by 30-50%.  

[sblock]in MP, Lwaxy used all of the ingredients very creatively and built an interesting adventure that would be fun to run or play in any type of setting.  the story included some very out of the box type thinking, but I was a little put off by some of the intuitive leaps that had me scrolling back up to re-read a few details.  for instance, the assumption that the party would figure the Robe to be part of a trash composition of the artist.  there were also a few minor grammatical errors in sentence construction that threw me off here and there (mom taught English: it rubbed off).  I would have liked to have seen more information on the Last Dragon cult, history, geography, or whatever.  the adventure was set in a modern-ish type setting (with a coffee shop) and yet the information on the cult seemed to be mainstream because information on it seemed to be common knowledge (all available at the local library/archive, including location of the Dragon cave – perhaps it’s a tourist spot?).  when I think of cults they are usually secretive sorts of affairs.  this dichotomy broke the rhythm of the story as I was working my way through it.  Lwaxy, I would offer the suggestion that prior to writing you might try an outline or something.  put everything down on paper or notecards or something to that effect.  and then check what you've got for consistency.  it might have exposed a few potential plot holes.

now we come to the fun (funner?) parts of judging, and what I consider to be the real meat of an Iron DM entry: usage and substitutions, and finally connections.

Artist's Studio: I liked using a piece of artwork to hide the Robe in plain sight.  but there is the missing detail of how Kadin obtained such an Artifact (note, capital “A”, because that’s what the Robe has been made into in this entry, usually artifacts are not found in the local dumpster…).  if he builds his art with refuse and discards, then how he came into possession of the Robe is a really big question mark, unanswered.  
what if, instead, the Robe were worked into a piece of art at a local museum?  could the ingredient of the Artist’s Studio be tossed out without impacting the story much?  so this ingredient is not all that strong.

The Final Dragon: in this case, the cult of.  but this is a generic fantasy setting, no?  so there are no dragons elsewhere then?  or just not mountain dragons?  I found this particular ingredient as a stand-alone to be a little bit weak.  I can see the appeal of the cultists in resurrecting a dragon via their ceremony, but any sort of dragon cult would have the same interests, whether it was the last dragon or any dragon.

Battered Manuscript this ingredient is very weak.  this is the sort of thing where substitution comes into how I judge things.  yes the manuscript is there and yes it has some information, but Hanar could be running with a tome, or a scroll or a compact disk and it wouldn’t change anything in the story.  and so what if it’s described as battered?  Hanar could be running with a water-logged scroll case and there would be no impact.  now if you’d had Hanar fending off his attackers with what looked to be a phone directory, that would have carried a lot better.

Suspended Clergyman: I liked this one.  the rationale for Hanar’s suspension will make for entertaining DMing and will give the players the opportunity to try and figure out which paranoid delusion is the real plot hook.  

Checks and Balances: this one I also liked.  Lwaxy, you didn’t just assume the standard meaning of the term and made Hanar in charge of balancing the books for the temple.  but why is D’Hal bouncing checks?  and while I liked the “checks” and “balances” idea, a stronger usage would have been to both do it this way AND to put in a reason for the PCs to block the ceremony, to maintain a balance that was the _reason_ that the last Dragon died so long ago.

Robe of Bones: ok, it’s a piece of apparel, meant to be worn, made out of bones.  I typed that last sentence and had to fight the urge to put a question mark at the end.  unless we’re talking komodo dragons, they (dragons) are usually described as being kinda big.  usually.  so a robe made from dragon bones is a bit hard for me to visualize.  a robe of dragon pelt, or scales, or almost anything else would be a lot easier to work with.  not the best ingredient.


lastly, how do all these things connect to each other?  I’ll grant that it’s a very entertaining adventure idea, but as mentioned above, even though they are great flavor pieces in the story, four of the six ingredients are really not necessary.  as I see it, there’s a strong connection between the Clergyman and the Checks and Balances.  there's another strong connection between the Robe and the Dragon.  but the Studio and Manuscript are pretty much stand-alones, and could be dropped or changed pretty easily.  really there aren’t a lot of other connections, for example Hanar has no connection to the Robe or to the Last Dragon cult or to the Artist Studio.  the story seems to focus more on D’Hal than it does Hanar.  now if Hanar had been the unknowing “champion”, (perhaps amnesiac?) where would the story have gone?  


so now let’s take a look at the Slayer’s entry and then I’ll sum up.

I find it interesting that both entries are set (or can be set) in a modern setting.  I’m fairly old school about my D&D, but I liked reading both of them.  

in CC, Waylander the Slayer has built a fairly cohesive adventure.  PC and NPC motivations are clear and easy to understand, and therefore should be a breeze to GM.  even with a much smaller word count, the plot holes that jumped out at me from Lwaxy’s MP were conspicuously absent from CC.  the telling of the story was some tight writing.  anyone interested in trying an Iron DM someday, should pay attention to this entry.  it covers its bases _concisely_.  

but a couple of minor points Waylander; remnant only has one E in it, and a couple other minor grammatical things.  for instance, while I like the “Final” being used to define the dragon, are we talking the final _note_ or the _finale_?  just saying “final” was unclear as to which of the two very different interpretations you might have meant, and which wouldn’t have taken that much to be clearer on.  as I was reading, it broke my train of thought (again, mom's fault).

so I suppose I’ll let that balance against some of the loose formatting / storyline of Lwaxy’s entry.

on to the fun stuff.  

Artist's Studio: this is the room that Arian Bold lives in.  he is the high priest of a temple devoted to music, so it naturally follows that he is a talented artist.  and it is the investigation of this room that holds the clues that initiate the adventure.  the room makes sense in the context of the adventure and thus becomes a necessary part of the entry.

The Final Dragon: this one… yes.  it makes sense and would be hard to switch out without losing the context of the entire adventure.  again a necessary ingredient.

Battered Manuscript: when I read this one, I laughed.  not a ROFL, or a ha ha ha, that’s funny, but a ho! ho! ho! of a “damned, that’s clever.  wish I’d thought of it.”  the manuscript MUST be battered, for it to be ingested.  that's even better than using it as a weapon.  kudos.

Suspended Clergyman: when I was looking over the ingredient list, this was actually the image that first came to mind.  but the question of WHY is very much there.  I can see the similarity between the two high priests and the idea that the power of the ancient language chanting is holding Arian up in the air.  I can even see a possible “ahah!” coming when the PC’s find the hanged dark priest.  but even though I recognize the story telling elements, they are only story telling elements.  Thalidan hanging there is the usage that best covers this ingredient, giving the story some more history and explaining why he is where he is.  

Checks and Balances: the more traditional definition, but again the entire adventure is backed by the idea of upnotes/downnotes, lights/darks, goods/evils in opposition.  so while not terribly original, still another good ingredient.

Robe of Bones: this is the only weak one.  it’s a killing magic item.  the cook could have been found asphyxiated in his quarters and a section of his carpet missing and it wouldn’t have changed the story all that much.  


regarding connections, the Suspended Clergyman lives in an Artist Studio where a trusted servant fed him a Battered Manuscript causing him to summon the Dragon with a whole light/dark Balance plot running through the whole story.  the Robe is not much more than a mcguffin and really doesn’t connect to the other ingredients all that well.  now if the robe had somehow been crafted from the suspended clergyman Thalidan’s bones, it might have been a stretch storywise, but it would have pulled the last ingredient into the story better.

***

when I’m reading an entry, a big part of my decision really comes down to two questions that are constantly running through my head.  first, WHY does this ingredient HAVE TO BE this ingredient?  if I were to change it to something else, what would be the impact to the rest of the adventure?  and second, WHAT are the connections between the ingredients?  are they just items strung together or do they all interconnect?

reading back over what I’ve written, I find I’m much more critical of Lwaxy’s entry than I am of Waylander’s.  I liked both entries, and found some solid out-of-the-box thinking in parts of Master Piece.  but really, the Curious Case did a better job on both of those two questions, strongly enough to outweigh other potential judging factors.  

so I’m going to say that Waylander the Slayer wins this round (at least from my point of view).

by the way Waylander, you mentioned in your following post, the time crunch in writing.  just as an fyi, the first Iron DM I participated in (and won) we had three _hours_ from the time of the ingredients being posted to put everything together and post.  
fun times…[/sblock]


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## Wicht (Jun 29, 2012)

I am back online. And thanks to Phoamslinger for filling in for me for round 2.


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## Lwaxy (Jun 29, 2012)

[MENTION=2342]phoamslinger[/MENTION]

[sblock]Because you overlooked some obvious details




> for instance, the assumption that the party would figure the Robe to be part of a trash composition of the artist.
> 
> but there is the missing detail of how Kadin obtained such an Artifact  (note, capital “A”, because that’s what the Robe has been made into in  this entry, usually artifacts are not found in the local dumpster…).  if  he builds his art with refuse and discards, then how he came into  possession of the Robe is a really big question mark, unanswered.
> 
> but why is D’Hal bouncing checks?



Simple, because the power figure behind it all had donated it to the guy to hide it from the assassin. It's rather clear from the bounced checks which had the address info for the artist's studio. Why else would the assassin know where to look for it? So, no, it's not unanswered, it's not a plot hole either. How would the one behind it all manage to get something in a museum and then have the assassin get it out again? It had to be a place with an artist who doesn't ask questions and where D'Hal could easily get to. I do not think a museum would have made any sense. 

I'll see how quickly the players in my SR game figure it out this week. 



> unless we’re talking komodo dragons, they (dragons) are usually described as being kinda big.




That's the point. How else could it expand into a dragon again? It's called magic 



[/sblock]


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## phoamslinger (Jun 29, 2012)

Lwaxy

[sblock]you're right.  I did miss that.  and the reason I missed it is because there's almost no information on the power broker...

_By now it should dawn on them that the Robe of Bones is part of an artwork. Kadin has no remembrance where it might be, as he forgets about what parts are in where to be able to "see the pure art." If his memory is helped a bit, he can remember who dropped the robe off – the same person giving orders to D'Hal. _

this is the only mention of "someone giving orders to D'Hal".  who is this mysterious power broker?  because there is no other mention of him anywhere in your adventure, other than that last sentence.  and now I have even more unanswered questions about your entry.  for instance the thugs chasing Hanar, are they cultist from D'Hal or are they the minions of this power broker?

another question; sure this is a major clue, but _how in the heck does Kadin know who is giving orders to D'Hal?_

Kadin is a courier.  he either knows he's a courier or he doesn't.  if he knows, then why is the boss sending an assassin at him?  if he's an unknowing courier, how does he know who D'Hal's boss is?  you're playing it both ways and it doesn't make sense.

another, if the bounced checks have the studio's address on them, that means that_ it's Kadin _who is writing them.  they're his checks.  why is the artist writing checks to Hanar's temple?  as a method to give the information to an assassin to come and kill him (Kadin)???

or if as you say, this is a method of giving target info to an assassin (which doesn't make a lot of sense), wouldn't a phone call be easier and leave less of a paper trail?

ok, the robe is magic.  then it should adjust to the wearer.  why is it heavy?  some more description text on the item would have helped, because your mcguffin (in the nature of mcguffins) is unclear.

and if being a dragon is so cool, why give it to D'Hal?  wouldn't the power broker want it for himself?  some info on possible behind the scene motivations might make this clearer.

yes, there are a lot of holes there.  I think your entry would have been stronger if maybe you had started with a background of what was going on behind the scenes or maybe a synopsis, not so much _how_ the adventure plays out, but _why_ some of the things that happen are happening.  


Lwaxy, I actually found your entry more interesting in a lot of ways than I did Waylander's.  your's had more of an air of a spy thriller with lots of things going on behind the scenes and whatnot.  but as a GM, I should know and need to know what those 'behind the scenes' things are, and you didn't do a good a job of making them clear to me.

there is a well known problem that a lot of new authors have, of assuming that the symphonies you hear when you are humming to yourself are heard by the people around you.  when I write something up, I go back and re-read it about a dozen times (including this post), because what I think I'm writing and what actually ends up in text, don't always mesh 100% of the time.  there are dozens of little details missing from your entry.  and quite probably, they are all safely there in your head.  when you run this adventure for your group, you will probably bring all those extra little details out and it will be a fine game.  but if you were to print out your adventure and hand it to the player on the left and let him run it for your group, it wouldn't go nearly as well.  go back and read your entry from the perspective of it being someone else's writing, not yours, and you might see what I'm trying to explain.  another method that works is to read it aloud, because hearing it is different from just seeing it.

but even more importantly, Iron DM is about *the ingredients*, not the best story.  I felt that Waylander used the ingredients better.  for example, his manuscript _had to be battered_.  what the dragon became finally became the final dragon.  etc.
therefore he won.

therefore I stand by my judgement.[/sblock]


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 1, 2012)

I will likely be gone through the 6th. So if you don't hear from me, that is the reason. Have a happy 4th of July everyone.


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## Lwaxy (Jul 2, 2012)

phoamslinger said:


> [sblock]you're right.  I did miss that.  and the reason I missed it is because there's almost no information on the power broker...




Of course not, that's up to the GM to decide. After all, the adventure should fit in anywhere, and the GM knows who of the villains would fit best. 



> for instance the thugs chasing Hanar, are they cultist from D'Hal or are they the minions of this power broker?



From the cultists. 



> another question; sure this is a major clue, but _how in the heck does Kadin know who is giving orders to D'Hal?_



He doesn't. He has no idea what is going on at all.



> another, if the bounced checks have the studio's address on them, that means that_ it's Kadin _who is writing them.  they're his checks.  why is the artist writing checks to Hanar's temple?  as a method to give the information to an assassin to come and kill him (Kadin)???



They have numbers and letters adding to them forming the address, they do not come from the studio. Kadin is just an artist with a different agenda. 



> or if as you say, this is a method of giving target info to an assassin (which doesn't make a lot of sense), wouldn't a phone call be easier and leave less of a paper trail?



It's part of the cultist's test, and making it too technology based prevents it to be used in a fantasy setting. 



> ok, the robe is magic.  then it should adjust to the wearer.  why is it heavy?  some more description text on the item would have helped, because your mcguffin (in the nature of mcguffins) is unclear.



It does, but condensed dragon bones won't lose that much weight. We were told not to bother with stat blocks so I didn't go into detail. 



> and if being a dragon is so cool, why give it to D'Hal?  wouldn't the power broker want it for himself?  some info on possible behind the scene motivations might make this clearer.



Not everyone wants to be a dragon, I guess, but the main point is that everyone believes just the cult's best man can use it anyway. 



> I think your entry would have been stronger if maybe you had started with a background of what was going on behind the scenes or maybe a synopsis, not so much _how_ the adventure plays out, but _why_ some of the things that happen are happening.



With a higher word count, probably. Considering most GM's round my area prefer less background so they can fill it themselves I guess I'm also used to not going into detail. 

There are three ways to present base adventures as I look at it. Either you throw a lot of background and some hooks at the GM for him to make his own idea work, or you give an adventure and let the GM fill in the background for their world (which is what I usually do. And then of course you could do a full adventure, which is not what we were supposed to do. 





> but if you were to print out your adventure and hand it to the player on the left and let him run it for your group, it wouldn't go nearly as well.



Our SR GM had no issues with it save from the indeed present thug confusion. I'm playing the NPCs currently, as my PC died a few sessions ago. We aren't done yet (just found the robe) but up to now it ran rather smoothly, although the church almost got burned down.

This group, of course, is used to barebone adventures as we have a super strange SR setting (not in any of the standard places). 



> but even more importantly, Iron DM is about *the ingredients*, not the best story.  I felt that Waylander used the ingredients better.  for example, his manuscript _had to be battered_.  what the dragon became finally became the final dragon.  etc.
> therefore he won.



Oh that is not my issue. Winning or not is never something I care much about, it's the creativity that is the fun. But I need to point out when obvious clues get overlooked. We'll run his adventure next btw, as it ties wonderfully into the backstory of my soon-to-be new PC. 

Or the GM lets me keep Hanar.


[/sblock]


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 5, 2012)

Just a quick update: Nifft seems to have been called away on RL issues. If he hasn't responded by this time tomorrow, we'll have Wicht post a third judgement for this round, and move forward with gnome-wicht-phoamy as judges. 

Sorry for the delays.  

-rg


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## Lwaxy (Jul 5, 2012)

That's the thing with RL, it is so rude not to think about our RPG needs


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## Wicht (Jul 6, 2012)

Hi all. I've just spent an unscheduled week without internet. We lost power last Friday for 50 hours and when it came back on Sunday, we discovered we had also lost our cable connection. Which was not restored till today. I see that I need to make a judgment. I will try to get to it this afternoon, following lunch. At the moment, I am still wading through a week's worth of emails and other online business. Sorry about that. Its been something of a mess in my corner of the world and there are still people I know who do not expect power until next week.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 6, 2012)

Something Wicht-ed This Way Comes.


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## Wicht (Jul 6, 2012)

My judgment follows:

[sblock]I'm going to try to be brief here and if I had more time I might be more critical. If there are specific questions, feel free to ask them. We have two good entries, and I think either could be worked into a fine adventure. As far as following rules, full marks for both. 

Which brings us to Ingredient Use. Both use the Artist Studio as an essential part of the adventure, so 2 out of 2 points to both. I slightly prefer the Final Dragon of the Curious Case over the other, but I recognize that is purely subjective and 2 out of 2 points to both for Final Dragon. The Battered Manuscript of the Curious Case is also more innovative (kudos to Waylander for that) and I find that other than being mentioned that the manuscript is battered in Master Piece, the adjective has no real bearing on the manuscript itself. So 1 out of 2 for Master Piece and 2 out of 2 for Curious Case. Likewise for Suspended Clergyman, I find myself thinking again the Curious Case is more clever, though both get full points. With both Checks and Balances and Robe of Bones, I find that the uses are good, though not spectacular, but full points all around. I will mention that I think both Robes are far too powerful for actual in-game use, at least as described and at the power levels hinted at in the adventures. As an editor or lead-designer, I would insist on both being somehow made more manageable if they are potentially going to be won by the PCs as treasure.  

Moving on to Useability, I think both are very useable, though Masterpiece has a weak hook and some conclusions of how things will unfold that might be wrong. Most PCs I know, if approached for a job by an obvious nut, will end up investigating him. Weak hooks are a no-no so I'm deducting a point for that. 

Coming to Style, I think Curious Case is hands down the winner here. It is presented in a clear, concise manner and is easy to follow. Master Piece suffers a bit from a slight disjointing in the narrative. I think that if the set pieces and events were just broken down with some titles, it would be much better. I also dislike the railroading at the end, with the robe forcing a PC into a transformation (even if it is advantageous). All in all, I think Master Piece has a lot of potential, but it could use a more polish and presentation. 

In the end I think The Curious Case of the Suspended Clergyman is the clear winner of this round. Congratulations to Waylander the Slayer!

*Master Piece*
*Follow the Rules* 6/6
*Ingredient Use* 11/12
*Usability* 5/6
*Style* 4/6
*Total* 26/30

*Curious Case*
*Follow the Rules* 6/6
*Ingredient Use* 12/12
*Usability* 6/6
*Style* 6/6
*Total:* 30/30[/sblock]


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 6, 2012)

All right, gents, thank you for your patience.  We have a Winner for Round 2, Match 2 - Waylander the Slayer.  

So, we're ready to start checking availability for the Finals match between Waylander the slayer and Deuce Traveler.  

Gentlemen: When would be good for you?


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 6, 2012)

I can start Sunday night or Monday morning.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 6, 2012)

Sunday night works for me.

Thank you judges. I appreciate all your feedback. 

RG, I have followed Iron DM for a long time, and some of my favorite entries are from the early days, including all of the current judges, Nemmerele, PC ( i recall an anthology of related adventures), Wulf Ratbane and Vaxalon (both a bit arrogant and effortless).  The time limit does crimp things a bit, however, i was more commenting on my rushed effort than the 48 hour limit. I dont think more time necessarily helps. My better efforts were dpne in less than 4 hrs; this last effort was done in 2-3 hrs. 

I also loved your criticsm on the dark vs. light; it definitely does follow, and would have been more elequent to have made the schism be based on the auditory than the visual.

Thank you Phoam and Wicht (great work on some of your Pathfinder stuff).

Bring it DT; your work and the semi final battle, to me, are the best entries for the entire contest so far.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 7, 2012)

Thanks Waylander!  I was surprised on how you pulled out the stops on your last write-up.   Those ingredients you had to deal with really threw me, especially the last dragon.  Looking forward to this.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 7, 2012)

Looks like we'll plan to start this up Sunday (tomorrow) evening.  The judges are making the final tweaks to the ingredient list, so we're ready to go.  

-RG


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 7, 2012)

Deuce Traveler said:


> Thanks Waylander!  I was surprised on how you pulled out the stops on your last write-up.   Those ingredients you had to deal with really threw me, especially the last dragon.  Looking forward to this.




Final Dragon...wish it was the Last Dragon....dastardly judges! Shakes fist.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 9, 2012)

*Iron DM 2012 Final Round*

*Final Round: Deuce Traveler vs Waylander the Slayer. * 

As in years past, we expect that our contestants will be quite close with the core set of ingredients.  So, as a way of further challenging our contestant and providing more ways for judges to differentiate entries, we've added three bonus ingredients.  _You will not be penalized for not using these bonus ingredients, but they're worth extra credit if you do. _ 

Here are your ingredients:  

*Required Ingredients*
Seared Seer 
Desert Dessert 
Knave's nave
Terraced Terrasque
Still Stiletto
Party Parity

*Bonus Ingredients:*
Rouge Rogue
Slippery Slippers
Demonstrable Demon's Trouble

You have until 8pm Eastern time Tuesday to complete your entries.  



-rg


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 9, 2012)

Ender Wiggin and Lwaxy: There has been some talk earlier in the competition about having a 3rd place match -- are both of you interested in taking part in a contest for the Bronze Medal?  

-rg


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 9, 2012)

Radiating Gnome said:


> *Final Round: Deuce Traveler vs Waylander the Slayer. *
> 
> As in years past, we expect that our contestants will be quite close with the core set of ingredients.  So, as a way of further challenging our contestant and providing more ways for judges to differentiate entries, we've added three bonus ingredients.  _You will not be penalized for not using these bonus ingredients, but they're worth extra credit if you do. _
> 
> ...




I see what you did there. I hate you all.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 9, 2012)

Radiating Gnome said:


> *Final Round: Deuce Traveler vs Waylander the Slayer. *
> 
> As in years past, we expect that our contestants will be quite close with the core set of ingredients.  So, as a way of further challenging our contestant and providing more ways for judges to differentiate entries, we've added three bonus ingredients.  _You will not be penalized for not using these bonus ingredients, but they're worth extra credit if you do. _
> 
> ...




Damn!  Just... damn...


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## Lwaxy (Jul 9, 2012)

Haha... can't wait to see what you will come up with (as one of my groups runs all of them lol). 

And sure I'd be up for a bronze medal match.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 10, 2012)

Well, it took me a full day, but I finally have my outline put together.  Yay!  Now I have to get around to writing it...


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 10, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer said:


> I see what you did there. I hate you all.




A friend just recommended one we missed, one that would have been perfect. 

Awful Offal. 

So, yeah, you're welcome. It's just our way of saying thanks for being good sports about the delays. 

-John

PS - blame Wicht, he started it.


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## Wicht (Jul 10, 2012)

Tattletale.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 11, 2012)

*Rouge Blues*

*Ingredients* (not included in word count)

seared seer=> Stone construct with seer powers.  Destroyed by rouge rogue for telling her Cambion was killed or betrayed her.  Now just an angry head baking underneath a desert sun.

desert dessert=> Desert plant that seared seer wants as reward for telling party where to find stiletto.

knave's nave=> Center part of small, evil chapel where stiletto is housed. Dedicated to cambion's god.

terraced terrasque=> Villanous complex of platforms built upon terrasque for harvesting magical components.

still stiletto=> Long blade embedded into the rear base of terrasque's head.  In possession of rouge rogue.

party parity=> Ethereal tether used by party to get ahead of rouge rogue. 

*Bonus Ingredients* (not included in word count)

rouge rogue=> Farrah, a red-haired and red-skinned ifrit spellcaster-rogue gestalt who stole the still stiletto.

slippery slippers=> Magical items that allow Farrah to skate across terrain.

demonstrable demon's troubles=> Gruuhl, the half-cambion demon running the cult and who was left by his mistress, Farrah.  He's having a lot of troubles, with his woman leaving him, cult in shambles, financial operations ruined, terrasque going amuck, and heroes dropping in.

*Adventure* (1939 words)

	A local border town is in an uproar as scouts have reported that a giant beast has been shambling nearby the settlement.  On its back can be seen several shacks connected by platforms and banners flying the colors of the Horned Devil Cult, a group of enterprising fanatics that run a black market specializing in the sales of poisons and magical instruments of murder and torture.  The desperate town leaders ask for the party to investigate.

	The Horned Devil Cult made its fortunes by using a special artifact called the Still Stiletto on a dormant terrasque.  With the aid of divine intervention, a small hole was blasted into the back of the terrasque's skull, and the thin blade shoved into an internal pressure point.  This was accomplished by a cambion cleric named Gruuhl, and his lover Farrah, a red ifrit rogue/wizard.  The two used the stilled and constantly regenerating terrasque as a source of components, using the funds to expand their cult following and to create a significant criminal organization.  After time, a settlement of shacks and platforms was built atop the immobilized terrasque.  In honor of Gruuhl's god, a small chapel was built atop of the creature's skull, the nave of which was designed to center and seal the stiletto in place.

	Farrah and Gruuhl had one of their frequent spats, which normally involves loud screaming and prolific arson.  However, this time Farrah decided to break the seal to the still stiletto, take the object, and skate off into the night using her magical slippers.  The terrasque has been slowly shaking off the paralyzing effects of the artifact and Gruuhl's god, resulting in it moving randomly for miles, and many of the cultist terraced shacks being ripped apart.  The terrasque is dormant when the party arrives, though the panicking cultists will be in a vibrant discussion about how to salvage the situation.  They will be hostile towards intruders and difficult to talk down from fighting.  Gruuhl and the cultists believe that they just need to buy time before a solution comes into play, and are unwilling to involve outsiders who might try to move in on their racket.  If combat does take place, Gruuhl makes a final stand at the nave of his chapel.  Gruuhl and any surviving followers gain a bonus to their hit rolls and saves while in the chapel, while good-aligned characters fight at a corresponding penalty.

	If the party finds a way to talk the cultists down from combat, Gruuhl asks them to go to a seer he knows about in a near desert.  The party will need a personal affect of the subject they wish divined, in this case a comb of Farrah's that Gruuhl provides.  If the party kills Gruuhl, they will find the same idea discussed in a letter Gruuhl had written for cultists he planned to send, and the exact location of the seer.

	The seer is an ancient stone statue with self-awareness named Paleet, built by a long-crumbled civilization in order to act as a talking divination device.  He was designed so that he must answer one question truthfully per day.  He became tired of the petitioners a few centuries ago and decided to get some peace and quiet in the desert.  When the party finds him they will see that Farrah had beaten them to it.  The seer was seared, as Farrah blasted his body to the point where only his upper torso and grimacing head remains, baking on the sand under the blazing sun.  Farrah came to him the day before the party, asking him whether or not Gruuhl would forgive her.  Paleet answered either that Gruuhl betrayed her by sending the party to track her down and bring back the stiletto or that Gruuhl had been killed, depending on the party's actions.  Paleet then refused to answer further questions for the day, resulting in Farrah blasting him apart in rage.

	The party should approach the seer with one of Farrah's personal effects, and ask him for her location.  Paleet is sullen, and though he is supposed to answer a question put to him each day, he warns the party that he will only answer the question of Farrah's location to a very basic level.  As he is tired of being mistreated for so many years, Paleet says that his answer will be much more helpful if the party treats him with the respect he has been missing for the last few millennia.  He wants to be dragged into shade, propped up, entertained, and, most of all, be given a nice refreshing dessert using some of the local, tasty desert plants in order to soothe his hurt ego and baked insides.  Someone in the party will have to make a difficult DC survival check to find some fruit or sweet enough vegetable.  The party will then have to make a wisdom-based check for the proper food preparation, with a corresponding bonus if the preparer has a way to keep the dessert chilled (likely through magical means).

	If the characters insist on receiving an answer from Paleet, he tells them that Farrah is stewing in a seedy inn in a city that is a three days walk, where she will remain until morning.  She was able to get there within a day due to her magical slippers, and after she has breakfast, Farrah will use these to quickly travel to further settlements.  Unless the characters can reach her soon, the roguish spellcaster will soon transport herself out of the region.  The characters may not be able to travel quickly enough to the city that Farrah is staying, and if that is the case, the party will lose time as they have to pamper the seer properly and wait another day before he will answer another question.

	If the party at least somewhat succeeds in pampering Paleet and makes him a desert dessert, he will grudgingly tell them the name of the inn Farrah is staying at and where she plans to travel the next day.  He will also tell them about the Ethereal Tether, a magical device that Paleet has in his treasure horde which enables the users to cover long distances on the material plane.  If the party greatly succeeds in pampering Paleet, he will volunteer to be the base of the tether and also tell the party the nature of Farrah's slippers, as well as her other defenses.

	Farrah's slippers are a magical device from her elemental plane of fire.  They create large levels of heat underneath the soles, causing the surface being traversed to become superheated and a layer of thin molten liquid to be created.  The slippers slip along this surface, and are also enchanted to allow the wearer to maintain high speeds, even up steep inclines and through light vegetation.  The wearer can move eight times their normal speed, and Farrah can travel between cities in a fraction of the time.

	Once Paleet is placated, he will trust the party enough to help enact a bit of revenge.  He tells the party how to operate the tether if they decide to use it.  One party member (or Paleet) needs to be the base and tie himself down to the start of the tether.  Other party members need to then tie themselves to the tether in equal distances apart.  Failure to tie themselves in such a manner of parity results in the tether failing to activate.  The character at the end of the tether needs to hold an object belonging to the place or person sought, in this case a personal affect of Farrah's.  Once the last character takes a step he will automatically pull all characters in between himself and the tether-base character into the ethereal plane, while the end character himself is transferred along the ground a manifold distance along the material plane.  The magic of the tether will keep him safe, making it so that the last character will not materialize inside a hill or wall, but atop of such places.  The character could still sink underwater or fall into a lava pit, however.

	The distance traveled by the tethered character equals the amount he would normally walk in the given time doubled for every one of the total characters tied to the tether.  Also, he will sense the direction that his subject (Farrah in this case) is in, allowing him to walk towards her.  Farrah will be unable to outrun a character travelling in this manner, though he will have his own challenge trying to judge distance and remove the stiletto from her possession.  Characters in between the last character and the base tether will find themselves floating in the ethereal plane, and will also see the outlines of the base tether character and character tethered at the other end.  As the lead character walks, the parity distance between each of the other tethered characters grows equally apart in the plane.  At first the characters should be able to see each other easily enough, but after the first hundred feet walked by the lead character, they will find themselves lost to each other in the mists of the plane, though they will still be able to communicate by shouting.  Once miles are walked (and dozens of miles traversed on the material plane), shouts will no longer have results.  Every few hours the DM should roll to see if any of the plane's denizens decide to investigate the floating characters.  Many denizens will be harmless nuisances, though some might be quite deadly.  If a character escapes the tether for any reason, the entire party will take damage (1d6 points of damage per character level) and be transported back to the material plane.  The characters will not appear next to each other, however, and instead appear an equal distance from each other, starting at the base tether and appearing an equal distance to what was walked by the last tethered character.  For example, if a character and four other party members are tied to the tether, and he walks a hundred feet, he will have travelled 100 feet times 2 times 2 times 2 times 2 times 2, or 3200 feet on the material plane.   On the ethereal plane, his fellow adventurers will see one another at a parity distance of 100 feet.  If one character is untethered, all characters will appear in a straight line back at the location of the character acting as the base tether, but 100 feet in separation from each other.

	The PCs should be reminded that their ultimate goal is to get the stiletto back from Farrah in order to deal with the terrasque, in case killing her is too difficult.  She will sell the artifact in the black market for coin a week after she leaves the seer.  On the same day, the terrasque will become fully awake and begin destroying settlements.  If the characters do recover the stiletto, they will have to have a cleric bless the weapon, locate the current location of the terrasque, climb onto the remnants of the chapel nave, and drive the stiletto into opening of the nave and into the terrasque's never center to immobilize it.  Follow on adventures should stem to what the party decides to do with the terrasque.  If they decide to keep the dangerous beast for profit as the cult did so previously, the location will become a target for other evil organizations and agents of good who would like to see such an operation shut down and the terrasque neutralized.  Alternatively, the party may seek out a way to end the terrasque threat permanently.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 11, 2012)

Required Ingredients
Seared Seer 
Desert Dessert 
Knave's nave
Terraced Terrasque
Still Stiletto
Party Parity

Bonus Ingredients:
Rouge Rogue
Slippery Slippers
Demonstrable Demon's Trouble
*Kings of Thieves *Slippery Slippers
9-10th level Pathfinder Adventure
*Synopsis* 
To win Infamy as the Kings of Thieves, is no easy matter. Every four years, many adventurers travel to the Dubious City- Kratas, to compete in the Knaves Nave; walking the Filthy isle of the God of Thieves to claim the Slippery Slippers. Few if any succeed this deadly competition to be known as the King of Thieves- will you? 
*Background*
Kratas, the dubious city is famed and fabled as the richest and most powerful. The key to success is the nature of it’s ruling council- directly tied to the Vaults of Lokar, the high church of the god of thieves. Every four years, adventurers from far and wide are invited to compete in the Knaves Nave- the mysterious competition to the altar of the god of thieves, to be crowned as the Kings of Thieves, and the ruling council of Kratas for the next four years.
*Hooks*
The PCs wake up to find an invite on their table, made out of beautifully guilded paper. Upon opening the invite, an Imp pops out with wonderous salutations, exaulting the groups magnificence, announcing their “invitation” from the god of thieves themselves. The party may prepare however they wish, and the  Imp will get impatient with the group, doing a random countdown. Regardless, once the party is ready (or not) they find themselves teleported to..
*Part 1- Terraced Terrasque*
The group finds themselves in a humongous cavern, with a large terraced hill in the center. Massive spikes jutting out form what appears to be Nave all the way to the top of  hill where can be seen what looks to be a massive altar. There are 4 terraced levels that need to be traversed to get to the top. The Imp, will point to the top, smile, and say “Look upon the knaves Nave, traverse with care oh mighty ones, for the prize of ruling the golden Kratas, along with a stipend of 100,000 gold a year shall be yours! To the first party to get to the top of course!”
Developments: 
- Looking around the party will see other competitors, including a group of 2 beautiful, rouged women and two beautiful rouged men (a knowledge local check will reveal them to the the infamous assassins, the Painted Lovers) amongst others at the GMs choosing. The rouge infact is applied to hide the devilish nature of these “lovers,” who are well versed in the art of disguise.
- The GM may add any other adventuring party that he sees fit as competition
- The magical nature of the Terrasque prevents any harm to it, and as such, any indirect approach such as tunneling.  Flying PCs will find spikes that shoot out from the “hill” assaulting them
- The Shadow Assassin; as the groups proceed  through the challenges at each terraced level, the  sense a shadowy form following them, who will continuously sneak attack the group. The Shadow Assassin uses a Still Stilleto; the Still creating an infusion of Gorgon Powder, that turns any slacking PC or other competitor into stone.
*Part 2- The Desert Dessert*
The First Challenge is one of survival. As the PCs move into the first terraced area, they are confronted by an small sandy area from where they are, to the next terraced area.  It appears barren and stark with nothing other than the burning sands. Traversing through the desert is difficult, as the heat and the “sun” above appears intense, and the longer the party travels, the hotter it gets.
- The other competitors harass the party.
-Travelling through the area, the surroundings continually change, yet the group does not get closer
-Eventually, the group comes upon a blind man, naked, chained to a large rock, who appears to be continually seered by the heat; he smiles wildly and mutters madly. He will look at the party and smile and greet them, laughing. “I have seen you and watched you, now you will cook like me, and die like me!” he mutters. Scattered about him are shattered glass and pieces of a distillery. “Free me  and I will tell you the way!” he mutters.
Developments: 
The Seared Seer is in fact, the Shadow Assassin; the High Priest of the God of Thieves. The broken  pieces of the distilliary is a clue as to his true nature. Any PCs previously attacked, or examining any dead NPCs can clue the PCs to the nature of the Assassins Weapon;  the Still Stilleto. Freeing the Seared Seer makes him cackle wildly, as he takes the sand in his hand, and mutters, “EAT! Eaaat,” as he dives into the sands and disappears.
The PCs can kill the Seared Seer without freeing him, thus unburdening themselves of the Assassin.Alternatively, they can also, with the appropriate knowledge check, puzzle out that the sand is infact, edible! Eating the sand, causes the desert to slowly disappear and gets the PCs to the next challenge

*Part 3- Party Parity*
The group find themselves in a large courtyard with a fierce debate raging between two parties; both of the demonic persuasion. The two parties appear to be debating what kind of humanoids taste best. The group can be smart, and inflame demonic parties into further discord with the proper role playing. Also, if they take part in the debate and cause one side to win as they traverse the crowd. The other side concedes to the winner, and decides to make snack of the PCs. The PCs may fight their way through this or become dinner.
*Part 4- the slippery slippers*
The last challenge involves traversing the maw of the “hill.” Terrsaque drool appears to coat the entire lip making the area very difficult to traverse; there are some slippers here, that can be worn, that make it even more slippery. However, the extra slippers cause it to be easier to run and slide across the mouth of the beast [appropriate balance check]
*Conclusion*
The Winner is crowned the Kings of Kratas and get rulership of the city!(and all the intrigue that comes with such a large stipend).


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 11, 2012)

For a moment, I didn't think you'd make it. Good job!


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 11, 2012)

woot; the wierd  my mind pours out when making up stuff in 45 minutes! I like it.   Well done DT; great entry.


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## phoamslinger (Jul 11, 2012)

I've read 'em.  I'll try and get to them tomorrow evening.

(space reserved for later judgement...)


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## Wicht (Jul 11, 2012)

I too have read them and will attempt to have my judgment posted by this evening or tomorrow morning.


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## Lwaxy (Jul 11, 2012)

Thread title might need adapting


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 11, 2012)

Lwaxy said:


> Thread title might need adapting




Yeah, well, that's going to be tricky.  It's Nifft's thread, and he's the judge that has dropped off the face of the interwebs.  I hate to ask a moderator to adjust the title for us each time we hit a new stage.....

-rg


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## Lwaxy (Jul 12, 2012)

Fixed. I'm watching such threads anyway, I just don't want to change a title if the original creator could.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 12, 2012)

Finals Judgement: Rouge Blues (Deuce Traveler) vs. King of Thieves (Waylander the Slayer)

So, as we have in past years, for the finals the Judges came up with a goofy theme for the ingredients in the finals. I feel great personal shame that this year's theme ended up being painful wordplay, but there you go. We're not good people.  

Anyway, on to the judginess....  RB = Rouge Blues  KT = King of Thieves 

[sblock]

Ingredients:

First the required ingredients.  

_Seared Seer._ 
So, in RB we have a Stone Statue that a) is an oracle b) eats c) complains about it's lot in life d) wants mango custard.  He's been blasted and nearly destroyed. I think he works for the ingredient, but I wonder about making him a stone statue -- so much of the rest of the details of the seer are very much the province of the living -- whining, eating, etc.  Especially the eating.  But, like I said, it works. 

In KT, the Seared Seer is one of the guises taken on by the shadow assassin while the PCs are going through their challenges.  But as far as I can tell, he doesn't really do much "seeing" -- he's in disguise as a blind prisoner who claims to have seen the PCs.  Okay. It's there -- but feels a bit weak.  Advantage RB.

_Desert Dessert_
In KT, the Shadow Assassin (in his Seer guise) tries to force feed sand to the PCs.  This turns out to be a clue, one that will free them from the challenge -- they need to eat their way out.  My issue with this use is that there's nothing I'm seeing that makes this a dessert. It's edible, but does it taste good? 

In RB, the statue wants some vague rare dessert made with a desert fruit. I've taken to calling it mango custard in my head, for no good reason. It's nominally covering the ingredient, but the story doesn't need it at all. So, I don't see either entry has having succeeded with this ingredient.  No advantage. 

_Knave's Nave_
In RB the "nave" is a shrine on the back of the tarrasque built around where the stiletto had been jammed into the beast's skull to control it. Again, this feels like pretty thin, nominal coverage of the ingredient, and in this case the PCs don't seem to really interact with it very much (perhaps they'd go there to look for clues to track Farrah). 

In KT, though, I'm very confused.  As I read the entry, the "Nave" is the competition. I suppose it's possible that was not your intention, but it actually reads that way in two places:


"many adventurers travel to the Dubious City- Kratas, to compete in the Knaves Nave"
"invited to compete in the Knaves Nave- the mysterious competition to the altar of the god of thieves, to be crowned as the Kings of Thieves, and the ruling council of Kratas for the next four years."

Am I reading those wrong? I don't think so. 
Which means that, in this case, the word "nave" is being used as a label for the competition, and in no way is a true nave (the central area of a church). I double checked with Dictionary.com to see if there was another definition of "nave" that was a sort of competition, but didn't find one. 
So, advantage RB. 

_Terraced Tarrasque_
Both entries have a Tarrasque. In RB, it's meandering towards towns that need rescuing by getting it back under control. In KT, it's part of one of the settings, the PCs climb around and over it in a couple of scenes. No advantage to either side. 

_Still Stiletto_
Again, both entries have a Stiletto -- in KT, it's used by the Shadow Assassin and is filled with gorgon poison.  In RB, it's the enchanted spike used to control the Tarrasque.  They're different -- I struggle a little with each, in different ways, but I don't think either has a clear edge over the other. 

_Party Parity_
So, this ingredient was not very nice.  In RB, an ethereal tether (think you'll get bonus points for spitting word games back at the judges, do you?   ) allows the PCs to catch up to the ifrit Farrah by taking advantage of it's special properties that enforce equal space between all figures tethered together. It's a little weird, but it sort of works.  

In KT, the PCs walk in on a debate between two groups of demons trying to decide which humanoids taste best.  This may be another situation where the execution of the scene will bring the ingredient into focus better, but I'm not quite seeing it.  The PCs can enter into the debate (relying on their own experience eating humanoids, I presume) but really this is just a scene where the PCs interact a little and end up choosing one of two bands of Demons to fight with. I'm just not seeing any sort of parity in the scene. If there were an opportunity to do some sort of diplomatic skill challenge that would ramp up the two sides of the debate by supporting and inflaming both sides of the debate equally, until they fought each other, that might satisfy the ingredient, but in this case I'm not seeing it. So, once again, I need to give advantage to RB.  

*Bonus Ingredients.  *
_Rouge Rogue, Slippery Slippers, Demonstrable Demon's Trouble_

We have always talked about bonus ingredients as tiebreakers, but in this case I don't think the would be much help.  Both entries have serviceable Rouge Rogues, both have significant Slippery Slippers, both have demons with troubles.  Call all the bonus ingredients a wash.  

So, for me anyway, Rouge Blues has made better use of several of the ingredients and comes out of this stage with a clear edge. 

*Playability -*

I don't see strong differences between the two entries for playability. RB does, however, have a very specific path the PCs must follow -- if they can't get the Paleet to help them, and give them his ethereal tether, they basically have very little way to catch up to Farrah -- which would mean the secondary option kicks in, where they buy it back from the pawn show where she hawks it.  Which isn't very exciting.  

KT would be mostly playable, in that it winds up being a collection of combat encounters the PCs are transported between as part of the challenge. I've already discussed the problems I see with the demon debate scene, but other than that the playability of KT seems to be decent. 

*Creativity*

I have a prejudice I'll come clean about -- I don't like scenarios like the one in KT where the PCs are magically transported from one setting to another to complete some sort of challenge.  It feels really easy to me.  It allows us to just throw together a collection of disparate elements in a way that feels cheap an easy in an Iron DM setting.  

That's a prejudice. The whole thing could have been written as a camel race through several scenes, which essentially just replaces the word "transport" with "camel" and it would be more satisfying to me. At the same time, the "contest" structure makes it super easy to throw together a variety of unrelated challenges without really tying them up naturally. 

So, on a gut level, I reacted poorly to KT because of the shortcuts I felt like it's using.  

At the same time, in RB I'm also really feeling the strain to tie ingredients together. The jaunt into the ethereal plane for the sake of faster travel is clearly tacked into an adventure that really does not need it to serve two purposes -- satisfy a tough ingredient and make the ehter/tether joke.  The desert for the statue is odd and doesn't really fit very well, given that we're talking about a stone head that can talk. I might have been happier if the stone head at something that stone might eat -- maybe something inedible to people, like sand...... but, anyway, there were problems.  

Word games aside, I didn't expect that this set of ingredients would be as challenging as they seem to have been -- remove the descriptors and it looks fairly ordinary (seer/dessert/nave/tarrasque/stiletto/parity). But, the world looks a whole lot different from the judging seat. 

Anyway.... I don't think either entry had clear creativity advantages over the other -- there were things I liked about both.  

*Conclusion. *

For stronger ingredient use -- the one clear (to me) advantage I found in one entry over the other -- I'm going to cast my vote for Rouge Blues.  We'll see how the other judges vote....

[/sblock]

-rg


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 12, 2012)

Lwaxy said:


> Fixed. I'm watching such threads anyway, I just don't want to change a title if the original creator could.




Thanks very much!


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## Wicht (Jul 12, 2012)

My Judgment:

[sblock]
And so we come to the final round of judgments (barring a runoff for 3rd) in our Iron DM Tourney. Let us see what we have...

Deuce Traveler's Rouge Blues (RB) vs. Waylander the Slayer's King of Thieves (KT)

Both of our contestants turned in on time and under word count, though it seems fairly clear that one of the candidates rushed his work a bit. Using the same scoring system I've used throughout, both candidates get full marks for following these two simple rules. 

Looking at Ingredient use (just the 6 main – I'll only consider the bonus material if its close), we begin with the seared seer, an evocative ingredient if I do say so myself. Though I first raised an eyebrow at the short description before the adventure, I found myself really liking the talking stone seer in Rouge Blues. The seared seer in King of Thieves though, not as much, as the NPC is not actually a seer and does little in the way of prophesying. I'm giving 2 out of 2 to RB but only 1 out of 2 to KT for the seer. The Desert Dessert is also used better in RB than KT. While the concept of an edible pile of sand is interesting, I am left with more questions after reading it, like how much sand must be eaten and how long does it take. 2 of 2 to RB and another 1 of 2 to KT for the dessert. The Knave's Nave, in RB is a little weak, in that its not clear how much it matters to the adventure, but its there and is worth 1 point and a half to me. The Knaves Nave in KT is ambiguous and seems at first to refer to the competition. I think that is unintentional and it is supposed to refer to the final location of the competition, but its confusing enough to only be worth 1 point. The Terraced Tarrasque is used far more evocatively in RB but I suspect that is mostly due to the lack of descriptive text in KT. A full 2 points to both here. The still stiletto in both is used well enough, though it plays a much more pivotal role in RB. But a full 2 points to both. Finally the party parity. Here is the only ingredient where I actually prefer KT to RB, as the text in RB was a bit confusing to me at first and overly complicated for a synopsis. That is not to say that KT exactly shone, but the balance between the two competing parties of demons does fit the use of the word. In the end, I deduct half a point from both for this one. Which gives us 8.5 points for KT but a 11 for RB.

As far as useability, I confess that RB grew on me the more I read of it. I think that it would make quite a challenge and could probably be used in a variety of settings. I am a bit of a traditionalist in liking to think there is only 1 Tarrasque, but thats a minor setting quibble. The tarrasque in KT was, I am assuming, dormant, and that might make for an interesting bit of background but it wasn't actually gone into, which I find dissapointing. The contest of KT is more limited in its appeal than the scenario of RB and that hurts its useability some. I also think the rather quirky, disjointed nature of the scenarios of KT hurts it as far as useability. On some levels it reminds me of some of the older modules, but not necessarily the good ones – the ones like The Forest Oracle.  I think with some thought some of the defects could be overcome, but as it stands now, I'm giving KT a 4 out of 6 for useability and a full 6 to RB.

Finally with Style, I would prefer for RB to have been presented a bit more neatly, with subheadings, etc. Such things make reading it easier. With KT, there were far too many things mentioned in passing, without ever being fully expounded upon, like the Terraced Tarrasque. I had to conclude on my own that the landscape was in fact the Tarrasque, because it never actually seems to be mentioned. Likewise, the aforementioned eating of the sand is not adequately addressed as to how much need be eaten. Little details like that make it harder reading as one must back up and reread to see if something was missed. For style, I'm giving RB 5 points, but only 4 to KT. 

I think it clear that RB was an entry with more thought put into it than KT (or at least more time). I think it clear that Rouge Blues is the better entry and the score agrees. Deuce Traveler is this judge's choice for Iron DM champion of 2012.  

*Rouge Blues*
*Follow the Rules* 6/6
*Ingredients* 11/12
*Useability* 6/6
*Style* 5/6
*Total:* 28/30

*King of Thieves* 
*Follow the Rules* 6/6
*Ingredients* 8.5/12
*Useability* 4/6
*Style* 4/6
*Total:* 22.5/30


[/sblock]


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## Wicht (Jul 12, 2012)

Radiating Gnome said:


> Word games aside, I didn't expect that this set of ingredients would be as challenging as they seem to have been -- remove the descriptors and it looks fairly ordinary (seer/dessert/nave/tarrasque/stiletto/parity). But, the world looks a whole lot different from the judging seat.




I thought the same. I think the quirkiness of the presentation made them seem trickier than they needed to be.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 12, 2012)

I have to admit that I'm not happy on how I ran with the party parity scenario.  At first I thought of putting in a suggestion that there was an opposing party acting against the characters, with the suggestion that the DM create them to be equal in level and party composition.  Such as as we've seen in the Order of the Stick.  But I hate that schtick.  So I decided to go with a word play on how the party could be equal in spacing from one another geographically and ran with it.  The ether/tether connection must have been something subconscious.   So I got stuck on geography and distance when it came to parity and couldn't unlock my mind from such.  Still it seemed clever when I started, but came out disjointed by the time I was finished.  I decided to leave it as it was due to time constraints.  Which highlights the good reasons why we have these time limits in the first place as it forces us to be quicker in wit.

I like how Waylander solved the dilemma and wish I ran with such an idea as I think it would have made a cleaner connection.

In hindsight I think we were wrapped around the descriptors and it is correct that we should have focused on the nouns.


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 13, 2012)

Thanks judges. All your criticisms are very valid. Unfortunately, that entry was written in 45 minutes while watching a very patient three year old. A more important work crisis seriously impacted any time i could devote to the final round. A lot of the mini scenarios were total cop outs and very skeletal. I.e., the party parity was supposed to be a skill challenge, the seared seer was to add prophetic elements etc. However, there was no time on my part for consideration. Ultimately, my initial instinct and what I would have liked to have written was an Arbian Nights type scenario; but that would have required a lot more thought, plot, and crafting on my part, which I unfortunately did not have time to flesh out. I am actually pretty proud of what I did come up with considering everything.

I do disagree that the descriptors were unimportant; in iron dm, the descriptors tied to an ingredient are critical. Without the discriptors, in would be like eating sand without realizing it is sweet tapioca balls...


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 13, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer said:


> I do disagree that the descriptors were unimportant; in iron dm, the descriptors tied to an ingredient are critical. Without the discriptors, in would be like eating sand without realizing it is sweet tapioca balls...




Mmmm... sweet tapioca balls...

I did realize you ran out of time, which is too bad as I would have liked to have seen some of the ideas you had fleshed out more.  As I mentioned before, I did like the party parity idea you had.  What were you going for with the nave?  I found a definition that said a nave can also be considered the center of a hub, and I almost decided to press on that.


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## phoamslinger (Jul 13, 2012)

3rd Judgement....

[sblock]... ok, after reading the two entries and thinking about them for a couple of days, I pretty much knew how things were going to go.  

judging the round two entry between Lwaxy and Waylander, I spent about four hours typing everything up.  and I realize that the critiques are important, so I will offer just one.

kitchen sinks.

in your entry Waylander, you strung one ingredient in after another.  they were all there, but they really didn't connect to each other very well.  taking any one item and comparing it to another ingredient, the connnections were very tenuous at best.  and the problem with this approach is that eventually you start getting a situation of "Why is he a seared seer?  If we made him a ribald drunkard, would it change things much?"  ...and the answer would be "No, it wouldn't."  your entry reminded me of early early D&D modules, where you'd have 6 orcs in one room and a minotaur in the next, with no rhyme or reason from one to the other (S2 would be a good example of this).

I thought that Deuce Traveler did a better job of explaining things and connecting them to each other than did Waylander.  why was the terrasque terraced?  why was the rogue rouge?  how did the two connect?  in Kings they just seemed to be adjectives without connections or really reasons for being the way they were, where as in Blues, there was some background explaining and helping draw the connections.

which brings me to kitchen sinks.  I remember an Iron DM a long while back that had something ridiculous like 20 ingredients in the final matchup.  and darned if I wasn't going to use all 20.  my entry did not win, btw.  sometimes it's better to let the optional stuff go instead of trying to force everything together.  just my $0.02.

...

ok, second critique point.
if the ingredient is *axe*, then you should use an axe in a way that procludes replacing it with a great sword or a rapier.

but if the ingredient is *warped axe*, not only should the above be true, but also _why_ is it a warped axe.

Traveler's rogue was an efrit, therefore red, therefore rouge.
Waylander's rogues were rouged, well, just because it was cool window dressing.

there were several other instances of this in comparing the two entries, which should be easy to spot.

Waylander, if you had stuck with just the basic six ingredients and linked all six firmly together, like you did in your round two entry, it would have been a much better entry.  I suppose the lesson should be, 45 minutes just doesn't cut it, especially with a tough list of ingredients.

checking the other judges, it would appear it's 3/3 for Deuce Traveler. 

Congrats DT on the win![/sblock]


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 13, 2012)

Thank you judges, and thanks to you, [MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION]

Waylander, I'm sorry that you ran out of time as you did have some good ideas out there that would have been solid if fleshed out.  Hopefully you'll compete again.


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## Wicht (Jul 13, 2012)

Going through the thread and giving XP to our players, I am told I must spread around the points before giving any more to our two finalists. So let me say - Thanks to both of you for playing and providing some very good entries. I'll be looking forward to seeing your future involvement. And I may see if I can't compete in the next go around.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 13, 2012)

I'll add my own congratultions to Deuce Traveler, and thanks to all the players.  And a special thanks to Phoamy for stepping in to help judge when we suddenly found ourselves short one.  

This has been a tough session, for all the wrong reasons.  I can't thank everyone enough for bearing with us as we muddled through.  

-rg


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 13, 2012)

Waylander the Slayer said:


> Thanks judges. All your criticisms are very valid. Unfortunately, that entry was written in 45 minutes while watching a very patient three year old.




Sorry that you had time problems -- I always hate it when we have entries submitted that the contestant doesn't feel like he's done everything he possibly could do -- getting beat by time is a drag. But that's part of it, I guess. 




Waylander the Slayer said:


> I do disagree that the descriptors were unimportant; in iron dm, the descriptors tied to an ingredient are critical. Without the discriptors, in would be like eating sand without realizing it is sweet tapioca balls...




I think the descriptors are important, don't get me wrong. I was just surprised that they created as much trouble as it appeared that they did. The good thing, from where I'm sitting as a judge, is that practically anything we come up with as judges is "fair", no matter how easy or infernal the set of ingredients, because we are just as kind or mean to each contestante equally.  At least in theory.   

-rg


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 13, 2012)

phoamslinger said:


> if the ingredient is *axe*, then you should use an axe in a way that procludes replacing it with a great sword or a rapier.
> 
> but if the ingredient is *warped axe*, not only should the above be true, but also _why_ is it a warped axe.




QFT. This is, I think, the heart of Iron DM.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 13, 2012)

Wicht said:


> Going through the thread and giving XP to our players, I am told I must spread around the points before giving any more to our two finalists. So let me say - Thanks to both of you for playing and providing some very good entries. I'll be looking forward to seeing your future involvement. And I may see if I can't compete in the next go around.




Had the same issue for a few of the players myself. I did my best to spread it around.  Silly forum rules.   

-rg


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## Waylander the Slayer (Jul 13, 2012)

Massive congrats DT. It's well deserved! I loved your tie in between the Still Stilleto and the Terrasque; that was definitely worthy of Iron DM. 

Perhaps an "All Star Edition" of Iron DM should be considered?


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## phoamslinger (Jul 13, 2012)

I just tossed out a "suggestion" to the judges.  I'm curious what their response will be.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 29, 2012)

What happened here? Almost like reading a mystery novel and finding the last page missing!


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## Rune (Jul 29, 2012)

Imhotepthewise said:


> What happened here? Almost like reading a mystery novel and finding the last page missing!




If you're referring to phoamslinger's suggestion, I believe that he was testing the waters for a public Iron Tapestry Tournament (the last one  held, a decade or so ago, was only for RBDM members).

What is the Iron Tapestry?  It's a massive Iron DM Tournament with each entry intended to develop a shared world with the other entries.  It's ambitious, but very entertaining.

If this kind of thing would interest anyone, you should definitely speak up, because it's not worth starting if you can't get a field of 32 contestants (like I said--ambitious!).  Although, come to think of it, I think that last tournament might have been a field of 16 with a double-elimination format (it was definitely double-elimination).


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## Pour (Jul 29, 2012)

Great job all. So bummed I missed this year's tournament. I'm game for anything else you might run in the future.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 30, 2012)

Rune said:


> If you're referring to phoamslinger's suggestion, I believe that he was testing the waters for a public Iron Tapestry Tournament (the last one  held, a decade or so ago, was only for RBDM members).
> 
> What is the Iron Tapestry?  It's a massive Iron DM Tournament with each entry intended to develop a shared world with the other entries.  It's ambitious, but very entertaining.
> 
> If this kind of thing would interest anyone, you should definitely speak up, because it's not worth starting if you can't get a field of 32 contestants (like I said--ambitious!).  Although, come to think of it, I think that last tournament might have been a field of 16 with a double-elimination format (it was definitely double-elimination).





I like ambitious.  Count me in if this ever happens.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 31, 2012)

I guess I was counting on a little more gloating, talking smack, and "I'll get you next time, Deuce!"


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## Rune (Jul 31, 2012)

Imhotepthewise said:


> I guess I was counting on a little more gloating, talking smack, and "I'll get you next time, Deuce!"




Oh, I will definitely get you next time, Deuce!


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 31, 2012)

Rune said:


> Oh, I will definitely get you next time, Deuce!




I imagine you saying that with a spiked mailed fist and a howling cat, ala Doctor Claw.


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## Rune (Aug 1, 2012)

Deuce Traveler said:


> I imagine you saying that with a spiked mailed fist and a howling cat, ala Doctor Claw.




[Tangent]Here's a fun bit of trivia for you:  Inspector Gadget was voiced by Don Adams, who, of course, played Maxwell Smart in _Get Smart_.  Coincidentally, I have been told by coworkers that I remind them of Maxwell Smart.  I'm not sure what to make of that...[/Tangent]


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## Deuce Traveler (Aug 1, 2012)

Rune said:


> [Tangent]Here's a fun bit of trivia for you:  Inspector Gadget was voiced by Don Adams, who, of course, played Maxwell Smart in _Get Smart_.  Coincidentally, I have been told by coworkers that I remind them of Maxwell Smart.  I'm not sure what to make of that...[/Tangent]




If it gets you wealth, women and fame I say roll with it.


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