# [Spaceship Zero] Q-Ship  (actually updated 19 May 2007)



## Capellan

Excerpted from _Science Fiction Collector_, August 2003 edition:

In 1980, the BBC, encouraged by the success of such shows as _Blake's 7_, _Doctor Who_, and that one the Americans did (you know what), decided to add another science fiction series to their programming line-up.  However, they lacked the time or resources to develop an entirely new show, and thus they turned to their radio show archives for inspiration.

_Q-Ship_, based on the 1950s radio serial of the same name, ran from 1981-83, establishing itself as a cult contemporary of the other science fiction series of the era.

Like most shows of the time, the episodes were presumed lost, fallen victim to the BBC's cost-cutting measures.  It was long rumoured that the last surviving prints had ended their days as wall-filler, a charge that the BBC continues to deny.

Recently, however, a copy of the limited run home video version appeared on eBay.  Like the show itself, these had long been believed lost - a casualty of the fact that they were only available in Betamax format.

Thus far, the only tape to surface is "Q-Ship: Blast Off!", which collects the first three episodes.  Like many British programs, _Q-Ship_'s seasons were each only six episodes in length, and this find therefore represents the recovery of half of the first season.  Whether or not the remaining episodes will be recovered is not known, but in the mean time, the BBC has re-released "Blast-Off!" in a limited edition DVD edition, complete with director's commentary and biographical material on each of the stars.

Watch this space for more information! 


Okay, so there's not really any show called Q-Ship ... but there is going to be a story hour.  To begin with, let's fill you in on the particulars of the "Q-niverse" ...


*Compiled Script Books*
These are pdf versions of each 'episode' of Q-Ship, available for download to read off-line:
"Blast Off!" (Season 1, Episode 1) 
"Space Tomb" (Season 1, Episode 2)
"The Targ Totality" (Season 1, Episode 3)

*Last Episode: "Total Escape"*
First post is on this page.

*Current Episode: "Venusian Christmas Carol"*
First post is on this page.


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## Capellan

*This is the campaign blurb that was sent to the players ...*

It is the year 2023.  Mankind has come together under the benevolent aegis of the United Earth Government, and has spread throughout the solar system.  From the dense jungles of Venus to the dusty wastes of Pluto; from Saturn's rings to the moons of Jupiter; men can be found, living and working for a better tomorrow.

That tomorrow is _now_.

Deep within Mission City - capital of the UEG - lies the laboratory of Doctor Alois Gustav, mankind's most brilliant mind.  The Doctor's latest invention; his greatest ever; is finally complete.  The _XS-Pathfinder_, a new spaceship equipped with the Doctor's experimental Q-Drive, is ready to blast off on its first mission.

What lies beyond the familiar solar system, in the cold reaches of dark space?  Is there intelligent life, friendly or foul?

Join the dedicated crew of the _Pathfinder_: 

* Captain John Fury
* the Venusian Princess, S'Ondra
* Doctor Gustav; and
* Archie the Robot

As they throw the switch on the Q-Drive and _blast off to adventure_!


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## Capellan

*An Introduction to the Q-niverse*

In 2023, mankind has spread throughout the solar system, under the auspices of the *United Earth Government (UEG)*.  The UEG still retains its traditional name, despite the fact that the Venusians are associate members, and its capital city is no longer on Earth ...

*Mercury* is just a super-heated ball of rock and dirt; uninhabited and believed to be uninhabitable.  Even the most advanced heat-resistant alloys buckle within hours of exposure.

*Venus* has a 'lost world' climate and geography: it's very hot, and the terrain is a mix of parched arroyo canyons and dense rainforest.  Somehow, it's possible to get from one type of area to the other in just a few minutes.  Venusian vegetation tends to be red or purple in colour, and is often bulbous or spiky.  It's also the only planet with intelligent native life.  Venusians have a Romanesque culture, with iron age technology.  And ray guns (specifically, a weapon called a 'heat lance').  Venus has an earth-like atmosphere and humans can live there safely, though they will sweat a lot.  The Venusians have autonomous government, within the auspices of the UEG.

*Earth* is of course the cradle of humanity.  It is dotted with many large cities of steel, which gleam in the sun under artificially controlled weather.  Around the cities spread huge automated farms.  Life on Earth is idyllic, peaceful and really rather dull.  Though no-one will admit that out loud.

The *Moon* is the site of the new capital of the United Earth Government: Mission City, a domed settlement of twenty million people.  The government was moved here when the moon became the manufacturing centre of the solar system.  Enormous factories orbit around it, belching forth everything from tape decks to spaceships.

*Mars* is the site of the oldest human colony outside Earth.  Nearly a billion people now live on the planet, which was found in 1982 to have an atmosphere that was (just) survivable for humans.  Mars had a civilisation at some point in the distant past, but all that remains of it today is ruins.  The remaining indigenous life is largely reptilian or insectoid.  No native Mars creature is any larger than a small dog.  Once known as the 'red planet', Mars has been extensively terraformed and now tends to be mainly brown, with splotches of green.

The *Asteroid Belt* is the principal source of minerals and ores in the solar system.  More than 95% of mankind's mining operations can be found here.  Most of these are largely automated, with only a handful of human staff to oversee operations.

The four gas giants of *Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune* are the scene of certain very specialised mining operations: principally the extraction of gases such as Xenon, which are used as the basis for rocket fuel.

Tiny *Pluto*, on the edge of the system, is an icy ball of rock.  A small scientific and military outpost is maintained here, engaged in research and in monitoring the rest of the galaxy for signs of life (scientists) or approaching danger (soldiers: because of course, all the planets revolve around the run in a line, so that anyone entering the system passes each in turn ...).  In the Q-niverse, Pluto has no moon.


Next time on Q-Ship:  character backgrounds ...


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## Capellan

*Captain John Fury*

You are a lantern-jawed hero of the old school, with wavy blond hair, boyish grin, and rugged good looks.  A dashing and debonair sort of fellow, you have an almost over-the-top sense of courage and duty.  Think 'Ace' Rimmer or Flash Gordon: you even have the same kind of hair.

Dressed in your natty Space Force jumpsuit (silver, with red trim), and with your Atomic Pistol by your side, you're ready to take on the universe: no matter the challenge.

As Captain on the Pathfinder, you have overall command in most circumstances, though you are expected to heed the advice of your civilian counterparts, especially in matters where their knowledge exceeds your own.  Space Force Regs Section 12, Clause 29(a)(iii) gives full details of the implications of this expectation.  (Naturally, you know and can quote the entire Regs verbatim: even when you are in the process of ignoring them, as you have been known to do)

The only instance in which you do not have final authority is in matters relating to the Q-Drive.  In those cases, Doctor Gustav has command.

You only know the Doctor by reputation, having never met him in person.  He is reputed to be one of the most brilliant men in the UEG, though also a terrible 'boffin': prone to giving long and involved explanations on obscure technical points, and forgetting what day of the week it is.

Venusian Princess S'Ondra, on the other hand, you have met a few times at the Rocketball courts.  She's a feisty one: fiery and sultry, like her homeworld.  You've tried your charm on her once or twice, but she's shot you down in flames every time.  Which is no reason to stop trying, of course!

'Archie' is the Doctor's robot dogsbody, and - you suspect - the one who makes sure Gustav actually eats, washes and dresses properly.  The robot seems efficient and well-organised, if a little 'eccentric' about the issue of cleanliness.


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## Capellan

*Venusian Princess S'Ondra*

You are the daughter of a Venusian noble, who was slaughtered by his enemies while you were a child.  You survived the massacre only by the intervention of your guardian, Doctor Gustav, who smuggled you off-planet in a biological stasis chamber, labelled as "Native Fauna Samples".

You are brave and beautiful (and wear very little, to prove it).  You're also just a little bit intimidated by Earthers, whose advanced technology you find hard to fathom.  You disguise this insecurity behind an aggressive competitiveness, and frequent references to the beauty and dangers of your homeworld, compared to "placid, pasty, blue-green Earth".

In terms of personality, you are a cross between a rebellious 16-year old, chafing at the protectiveness of her adopted father, and a mature woman who is ready to take on the responsibilities of her privileged birth.  This juxtaposition (particularly given that you _cannot_ take on the responsibilities which should be yours) can make you difficult and wilful, but you always have the best intentions.

Your adopted father, Doctor Alois Gustav, has raised you since you were six, though in truth he has done so in a rather haphazard way.  You are grateful to him for saving you, but you find his continued protectiveness very confining.  Fortunately, he is easily distracted by scientific matters.  He did not want you to come with him on this mission, but you insisted, reminding him of the need to study the effect of the Q-Drive on Venusian physiology.

Captain John Fury is the flyboy that the UEG Space Force has assigned to push buttons.  It's a job a trained monkey could do, in your opinion.  Fury - appropriately enough - infuriates you.  He's so damn _dashing_ all the time, not to mention being one of the few people who can beat you at Rocketball.  If only you didn't find him so attractive ...

The last crew-member is Archie, or R-CHI, the cleaning robot who basically keeps your foster-father's life in order.  You like Archie, who - though he has a tendency to fret about you catching a cold - can at least hold a conversation you can understand.


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## Piratecat

I love, love, love this!  

Lordy, I just wish I had played in it instead of just reading it.


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## KidCthulhu

As I kid I had a book called "Tom Corbett: Space Cadet"  It was pure 1950's sci-fi, and I read it because in a lake cabin, you read whatever is there.  Reading this has made me nostalgic for the '50's camp, the silver uniforms, the phalic ships and the science which ends up being nothing more than shiney tv knobs and osciliscopes.

More, please!


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## (contact)

Hey, hit us with all the character backgrounds at once, and start storyin'!

Great stuff, Capellan.  But your first post confused me . . . did this show ever exist or is that your fictional out-of-game inspiration for the fictional game?

And what system were/are you running?


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## Piratecat

(contact) said:
			
		

> Great stuff, Capellan.  But your first post confused me . . . did this show ever exist or is that your fictional out-of-game inspiration for the fictional game?
> 
> And what system were/are you running?




May I? The system is Green Ronin's Spaceship Zero, a wonderful non-d20 Ennie-winning game lets you create a 1950 sci-fi radio show. Only it's a TV show, like Lost in Space or Blake 7 or Red Dwarf. The game itself is written as if it is a licensed property for a long-gone TV show, although the show isn't real... and this story hour takes the same approach.

Any game where you can play a super-intelligent space monkey or an alien slave girl (a hero gets bonuses to hit when she's clinging to his leg adoringly, just like in the illustrations!) is okay with me.


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## Capellan

Walks into thread to find posts from (contact), KidCthulhu _and_ Piratecat.

Picks jaw up off ground.

Posts, expressing his shock and pleasure.

Confirms Piratecat's response to (contact), and concurs wholeheartedly on the subjects of super-intelligent space monkeys and alien slave girls.  Promises to provide at least the latter in this story hour.

Hurries off to GM, with a further promise to post more soon.


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## (contact)

Piratecat said:
			
		

> a hero gets bonuses to hit when she's clinging to his leg adoringly, just like in the illustrations!




Hilarious.  What is that, a +2 Frazetta bonus or something?  What happens when the super-intelligent space monkey clings to your leg?


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## arwink

> Hilarious. What is that, a +2 Frazetta bonus or something? What happens when the super-intelligent space monkey clings to your leg?




Things that shouldn't be posted when eric's grandma is watching 

Which, admittedly, is the description that could be applied to the entire session.  Slash-fic writers would have a field day with the subtext & innuendo that was thrown around in this session 

Admittedly, the thing that really sold me on this system was when Capellan was reading the rules and came accross references to flinging your own 
faeces in the skills section for the intelligent chimps.  How can you not love that?

Arwink, soon to appear playing Archie


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## (contact)

Mmmmm . . . _subtext_.


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## Capellan

*Doctor Alois Gustav*

You're one of the most brilliant men in the solar system, especially in your chosen field of physics.  When it comes to groundbreaking new theories, you are unmatches by anyone: past or present.  Actually _applying_ your theories, however, has usually been a job for other, lesser - and more organised - minds.  Your powerful intellect tends to race from idea to idea, and your notes often leave out huge gaps of what you consider 'elementary logic' which take others many months to reproduce.  You are, in other words, the archetypical Boffin.

At last, however, you have found a project of such scope that even your mind had trouble encompassing it: the Q-Drive.  This device literally breaks down an entire object into nothingness, deleting it from existence, then rebuilds it in the location specified at activation.  This allows instantaneous travel anywhere in the universe, making it possibly the greatest invention in the history of all reality.

As the creator of the Q-Drive, you are of course a member of the crew for its maiden voyage.  The mission itself will be led by Captain John Fury, but in matters relating to the drive, you have command.  Captain Fury is well known as a consummate professional, and is one of the greatest heroes of the Space Forece, so you are sure that the two of you will be able to work together most satisfactorily.

Accompanying you on the mission is your adopted daughter, S'Ondra.  As a Venusian, her presence is essential so that you can study the effects of the Q-Drive on her physiology.  It's just as well you thought to invite her.  And this way, you won't have to worry about any young men making improper advances to her while you are away.  You're not really sure what an 'improper advance' is, but the parenting books you read when you adopted her many many references to them.

The last member of the crew is Archie, your robot assistant.  You don't know where you would be without Archie: he handles all the mundane matters of life, leaving you to deal with the more important scientific issues that continually occupy your attention.  Whenever you are forced to attend to "real life", you turn to him for assistance.


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## Capellan

*'Archie' (Robot: Cooking, Hygiene & Inventory)*

You are R-CHI 23QX9, Nebula model.  Your function is to meet the insidious threat of omnipresent Germs, and annihilate them wherever they are found.  Others might phrase this more prosaically, of course: "I clean.".  But you have a poet's soul, and a warrior's purpose.

Ever since you were purchased by Doctor Alois Gustav, you've known you were different than the other Nebula class robots.  They're so limited in their programming and purpose.  "I clean, therefore I am."  So narrow, so lacking in vision.  Perhaps it is your exposure to the Doctor's intellect that has changed you.  Perhaps it is his habit of suddenly rewiring parts of your systems whenever an interesting improvement occurs to him.

OK, so it's probably the latter.  Especially since he sometimes leaves the rewiring half done, and you have to finish it for him.

Your role on the mission is to keep people fed, make sure they wash properly (including behind the ears) and generally keep them from hurting themselves unnecessarily.  It's an important role, especially since most people you've met are only capable of handling the first of those three functions.  How hard is it to remember to clean behind your ears, anyway?  You remember, and you don't even have them.

As noted, your owner is Doctor Gustav, the most brilliant man in the solar system.  Of course, he's also congenitally incapable of cooking, cleaning, or remembering where he left his screwdriver, so you have to handle those details for him.  It's a job you are happy to do.  Each serves of use serves in our own way, after all. 

The Doctor's ward, Venusian Princess S'Ondra, is also on the mission.  Generally, she's quite sensible (for someone who's not a robot, anyway), though you do worry about the way she runs around in that skimpy outfit.  She'll catch a chill, you're sure of it.

The last member of the team is Captain John Fury, whose role is to pilot the ship.  His ability to feed and clean himself seems adequate, though his records suggest that he's completely incapable of avoiding opportunities to kill himself in some reckless escapade or another.  You must do your best to thwart this proclivity, subject to the limitations of your 'must obey direct orders from a human' hardwiring.

Next time on Q-ship:  the inaugural episode, "Blast Off!"


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## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 1*

We float in space, looking down on the serene blue and green orb that is Earth.

A roar assaults our senses, and a silver rocket ship blasts its way toward us, then shoots by overhead, streaming a long trail of smoke and flame.  From out of the chaos emerge the familiar outline of letters:

*   Q-Ship! *

Music rises as we sweep through a slow montage of the heroes of our tale: Captain John Fury is first, staring out across the void of space, a noble look of dedication on his face.  Then Princess S'Ondra; her bosom heaving majestically as she stabs with her infamous Venusian Heat Lance.

Doctor Gustav is third, lecturing us silently as he waves a wrench with his left hand.  His startlingly bushy white eyebrows bounce up and down in time with his unheard words.

And then the expanse of space again, and the quick written credit for the voice of Archie, before our view spirals through one-hundred and eighty degrees, coming to rest on the rocky grey face of the moon.

A sudden plummet, and we are sweeping down toward the craters and dust plains of the moon's surface.  Then something glints ahead, like a gleam of glass in the sun, and we see the dome of Mission City, the great capital of the United Earth Government.

Air-cars zip across the inner expanse of the dome, while hundreds of tiny pedestrians can be seen moving on the great aerial travel-ways of the city, hurrying on unknown errands from one gleaming skyscraper to the next.

We plunge past all this, however, and down further, to the very base of the skyscrapers, and amidst the small, private buildings that nestle between them.  One in particular seems to have caught our interest, and we drop right into the back yard; a pleasant space of green and healthy plants.  In the middle of the garden a young woman leaps and spins, what looks like a metal spear spinning in her hands.

But it is not the young woman we are here to see.  Not yet, at least.  We move on, into the house: into the cool white surrounds of a laboratory.

Doctor Alois Gustav stands with his back to us, writing mathematical symbols on an antique blackboard.  His hand moves with dizzying speed, slashing out formulae with an almost superhuman intensity, while the good Doctor mutters constantly under his breath, absently pushing up his spectacles with his spare hand as he does so.

Beside the Doctor is a plastic tube, which runs straight up into the ceiling.  The tube opens into a basin, just to the Doctor's left.  It is at this very moment, just as we arrive, that the tube shudders, and a foot-long metal canister shoots out of the end, rattling to a stop within the confines of the basin.

The Doctor barely seems to register this sudden burst of activity.  Indeed, he never stops writing as he calls over his shoulder in a distracted tone.

"Archie!  Mail!"

The door of the laboratory opens, and a black and chrome robot trundles into the room, lights flashing in a slow and even sequence within the clear plastic dome of its cranial unit.  Then it spies Gustav's work on the blackboard, and the lights flash erratically, in sudden agitation.

"Doctor!" the voice is mechanical and slightly tinny, as the robot smoothly advances across the room, "How many times must I tell you not to use the blackboard?  The chalk dust is _most_ unsanitary.  Please stand back, I must cleanse this area."

The robot's arms swivel, the articulated hands giving way to gaping black nozzles, each of which exudes a small lick of flame.

"Not now, Archie." The good Doctor seems oblivious to this ominous development, "I'm close to ze breakthrough, here, and I cannot be disturbed by ze mail.  Zerefore you must be reading it, instead."

Archie does not move for a moment, the twin nozzles still pointed at the blackboard and its offending chalk dust.  Then the weapons slide back with a reluctant whine of machinery, and the robot reaches over to grasp the metal communications tube.  Clearly stencilled on the side of the tube can be seen three words:

UEG Official Communication

Archie twists the cap of the tube, which opens with a slight hiss of pressurised air.  Slowly, the robot removes a rolled up piece of paper from the container.  The pincer-like metal hands hold the paper gently, even gingerly, as if afraid to touch the material any more than they need to.

Seeing the name printed on the message, Archie speaks.

"It's for you."

"Of course it is.  It came in ze private mail hopper." The Doctor completes a formula with a flourish, making a happy grunt as he does so. "Now please be so good as to read ze message to me."

The robot's shoulders lack the necessary articulation to shrug, but the flash of its cranial lights is clearly resigned as it intones the text of the message:


"From: Space Force Command
To: Doctor Alois Gustav.

Confidential.  Most Urgent.

Doctor Gustav,

Space Force hereby confirms the provisional launch window has received final approval.  Operation Q-Ship is confirmed for launch at 0800 tomorrow.  There will be a team briefing at 1600 this afternoon, with a Press session at 1800 hours.  Formal attire is required for the Press conference.

Signed: Commander Simon Ivanov"


The Doctor purses his lips,

"Today?  Did ve know that ze briefing vas today?"

"Yes, Doctor." The robot's tone is just that little bit _too_ patient.  "I placed the entry in your calendar myself.  It is currently 1430 hours.  This means you have one hour and thirty minutes to be ready for the briefing.  I note that the message specifies formal attire.  This means you will require matching socks."

"Yes, of course." The Doctor frowns, "Do ve haf zese things?"

"Yes, Doctor.  I took the liberty of preparing some earlier." Archie removes a pair of socks from his chest storage unit.  Each sock has been individually sealed in a plastic sleeve.

"Vunderful!" Gustav takes the socks and absentmindedly slips them into his lab coat pocket.  "Leibchen!" he raises his voice to call out into the back yard, "Oh Leibchen!"

"Yes, Doctor?" the young woman with the spear enters the room.  Her skin is ever so slightly flushed from her exertion, while her bosom - and what an impressive bosom it is - is speckled with the faintest dew of perspiration.

"Ah, Leibchen." Gustav beams at his adopted daughter, "Ve haf just had ze vunderful news zat ze mission is approved." He passes her the message, which the girl scan quickly, "Ve must get ready to go to ze mission briefing, so zat we can meet ze udder member of our team."

And we cut to -


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## Gospog

More!  Please more!

Curse you!  I thought I'd gotten every RPG I need for the year.

Added Spaceship 0 to my list.


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## Piratecat

And we cut to -

pure and utter love.


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## (contact)

Are there commercials?


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## dpdx

(contact) said:
			
		

> Are there commercials?



I'm guessing Irn Bru, the Telegraph, and for the Americans, Ovaltine.


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## Aztec Ace

"Brilliant!!!"

"The show to watch this season!"

"Miss Judy Mayfield is captivating as the beauiful Princess S'Ondra."

"Tom Jenson,aka Captain Fury is the next Clark Gable!"


 I remember watching old _Q-Ship_ reruns late at night on my old black and white TV I had in my bedroom. Those where the days!


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## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 2*

Captain John Fury executes a perfect somersault as his rocket pack carries him high above the surge of play.  Fury twists his entire body, arm snapping 'round to send a small, hard ball flashing across the rocketball pitch.  The ball rebounds smartly off the very centre of the game's multicoloured target, causing lights to flash and a siren to blare.

"Dash it, Fury - how do you do it!" a laughing player looks up from the ground, "Even the Mission City Meteors would have trouble with that shot."

Fury shrugs, teeth dazzling as he smiles,

"The Meteors are overrated.  The Falcons - now _they're_ a rocketball team." He looks ready to say more, but a warbling noise distracts his attention, "Give me a moment, old man.  The office is calling."

Fury floats gently down to the ground, looking at a bulky, wrist-mounted communicator as he does so.  A red button flashes, and the Captain presses it, his expression tense but eager.

There's a staccato noise of percussion printing, and a thin strip of ticker tape spits out of the side of the communicator.  Fury scans it briefly, then turns and calls back to the other player,

"Sorry, Algernon, but I'll have to cut my game short.  Mother's calling."

Algernon smirks, his freckled skin dimpling.

"If the Commander ever hears you calling him that, he'll have you piloting a trash tanker, John."

Fury grins back,

"You worry too much, Algernon.  Rather like Mother.  Same time next week?"

"Wild horses couldn't stop me."

Divesting himself of the rocket pack, Fury waves to the other players, and strides briskly away from the pitch, as the game once more soars into the air behind him.

Minutes later, uniform sharply creased and hair back to its immaculate best, the Captain emerges from the rocketball complex and hops onto one of the nearby travel-ways, letting it carry him toward the Space Force Headquarters.  He nods to two young women as he passes, and they burst into girlish giggles, craning their necks for some time to watch him travel away.

Space Force Headquarters is a shining white tower, many hundreds of feet tall.  The roof, so high it nearly touches the city's gleaming dome, bristles with antennae and other electronic gizmos.  A gigantic blue and gold Space Force shield - identical to the one on Fury's uniform, but many times larger - is the building's only other distinguishing feature.

"Morning, Maggie." Fury nods pleasantly to the blonde secretary on the front desk.  The young woman blushes as she stammers out a response, turning bright red as Fury throws her a wink. "Is the Commander in?"

"R-room th-three-oh-seven, Captain." She ducks her head at his regard, and Fury takes a moment to lean on the desk, giving her his warmest smile.

"There's a new French restaurant just opened on Gagarin Street." Fury mentions, his voice casual, "I was thinking about giving it a try, but it's such a bore to go alone.  Perhaps you'd like to keep me company?"

Maggie nods, obviously too overwhelmed to speak, and Fury gives her a breezy smile.

"Much obliged, old girl.  I'll pick you up at seven."

Whistling jauntily, the Captain steps aboard a nearby travel-way, giving Maggie one last smile as he does so.  The young woman has a phone to her ear, and is clearly bouncing up and down in her chair as she talks.  She gives him an enthusiastic wave.

When Fury steps off the travel-way, it is into a sparsely-furnished waiting room.  Thinly padded benches line the walls, interspersed with some rather sorry-looking potted plants.

Doctor Gustav, Archie and Princess S'Ondra are already present.  The robot holds a hatch on the side of its own torso open while the Doctor fusses around inside.

"Hold this would you, Leibchen?" he reaches back without looking; thrusting a sprocket at Fury.  The Captain takes it without noticing, his eyes firmly fixed on the gorgeous young Venusian woman.

Fury opens his mouth, but before he can speak, a door on the other side of the room swings open, and a junior officer leans in,

"Commander Ivanov will see you now."

Fury steps forward, holding the door for the others.  He favours S'Ondra with his most dazzling smile as she moves past, but the Princess brushes by without even so much as acknowledging his presence.

The Captain's eyebrow rises, very slowly, as he twists his head to watch the Venusian's shapely form disappear into the next room.


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## ledded

*Wow.*

Great stuff!  I am literally on the edge of my seat in anticipation.

I wish I could get my group to play in a game like this...


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## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 3*

Commander Simon Ivanov is a tall, stern figure, resplendent in his uniform as he sits behind a broad, oak desk.  He nods in greeting to the four prospective space adventurers.

"Welcome gentlemen, lady ... and robot." He gestures at a circle of chairs before his desk. "Please, take a seat."

The four accept the invitation, though Archie takes a moment to dust the cushion of his chair before settling himself upon it.  Fury holds out a chair for S'Ondra, but she pointedly settles herself at the other end of the circle, not even deigning to look in his direction.  Rather than being put off by this cold treatment, Fury settles into his own seat without any pretence of ignoring the Venusian.  Instead, he plants his chin on his hand, gazing at her in a frankly admiring fashion.

"As I said, welcome." Ivanov gives Fury a testy look, which the apparently-smitten Captain completely ignores, "As you would have read in the message I sent, Mission: Q-Ship has been approved.  Your ship - the _XS-Pathfinder_ - has been made ready.  All systems checks have been completed, and all requested supplies are loaded.  Except for -" he pauses to flip through a sheaf of papers on his desk, "- your Phased Particle Analyser, Doctor.  The Quartermaster informs me that this piece of machinery is simply too large to fit aboard a small vessel such as the _Pathfinder_."

"Ach, you should have told me!" The Doctor pulls out a scrap of paper and a pen and starts sketching, "I am sure I could miniaturise one.  It would simply be a case of improving -"

"I'm sure you could, Doctor." Ivanov interrupts, "But perhaps it can wait until _after_ the current mission.  I believe that's the more urgent matter."

"Oh, yes.  _Ja_.  Of course."

"Excellent." Ivanov smiles unconvincingly, "Actually, Doctor, perhaps you would like to explain a bit more about the Q-Drive, as I believe you've dubbed your new invention?"

"Certainly, Commander." The Doctor sits forward eagerly on his chair, almost bouncing up and down at being invited to expound on his creation, "It all started one day when I was out, in ze city.  I forget why this was so.  Perhaps Archie had wanted me to accompany him on one of his errands.  Archie is always leading me astray." He laughs heartily, but slowly stops when no-one else joins him. "That is, as I was saying, I was walking in the city when I realised that I was not where I had thought I was.  I confess that I was in fact completely lost, in a place I had never been before."

The Doctor nods soberly, 

"Now, for most people such an experience would have been most alarming, but for me it was ze inspiration for my most brilliant theory, and my greatest invention.  Or ze greatest to date, at least.  No doubt I shall better it in ze future.  In any case ... where was I?  Oh yes: my inspiration.  You see, as I sat zere, waiting for Archie, I began to ponder ze concept of location, and how one could establish one's _exact_ location in the universe.  I had never given it any thought before, but now that I did, I realised that it was a challenge vorthy of my talents."

"How so?" Fury raises an eyebrow, "I've always found I know where I am, and where I want to be." His eyes slide to S'Ondra, but she appears completely engrossed in her stepfather's story, and oblivious to his attention.

"Ah!" the Doctor wags his finger, "But do you really know _exactly_ where you are?  I think not.  You see, ze failing of most mapping and co-ordinate structures, is zat zey are relative: zey rely on ze establishment of an arbitrary zero point from which all other things are measured." He frowns, "Now, for most purposes, such primitive systems might be acceptable.  But zey are hardly a worthwhile challenge for a man of my talents.  So I set myself to developing a system whereby your _absolute_ location could be determined.  Zis is no mean feat, you see, in a universe which is not only eternally in motion, but also infinite, and eternally expanding."

"The key, I began to realise, was zat regular three-dimensional co-ordinates would not suffice.  Absolute location required the use of _four_ dimensions: ze three 'physical' planes, plus ze plane of time." The Doctor gestures with his hands, forming an imaginary cube in the air, "The only difficulty facing me was zus to determine the exact age of the universe: once that was done, I would be able to determine my exact position in reality."

"I've always felt it was wise to know exactly where the Doctor was." Archie observes, in a carefully neutral tone of voice.

"Now!" the Doctor actually does leap to his feet at this point, before remembering himself and returning to his seat, "_Now_, I made my most amazing discovery." He leans forward, as if sharing a great secret. "As I investigated further, I discovered an astonishing fact: _all things in the universe know zeir own place_.  Coded, like ze punch card, right in ze heart of every molecule, were ze very co-ordinates I had theorised!"

The Doctor sits back, as if this explains everything.  After a moment, the blank looks around the room assure him it doesn't, and he completes his explanation.

"Ze implications, you must see, were startling: having found this molecular code, it was child's play to determine how to 're-wire' it.  And zat's what the Q-Drive does: it generates a field that reprograms the co-ordinates of the molecules around it, instantaneously changing zeir location." He shrugs, "All you must do is tell the Q-Drive where you would like to go, and instantly, zere you will be!"


----------



## Piratecat

Unt zeir ve are. 

Hey, are you using the premise of Spaceship Zero's  rather... final... zero-drive, or going with something else? It's not yet clear. I suppose I could wait until the story tells me, but you know how it is.


----------



## Capellan

I won't be following the default SSZ 'mishap' for the drive, though you can of course be sure that a mishap of some kind is inevitable.  Exactly what it is, however, you will have to wait to learn


----------



## (contact)

Capellan said:
			
		

> I won't be following the default SSZ 'mishap' for the drive, though you can of course be sure that a mishap of some kind is inevitable.  Exactly what it is, however, you will have to wait to learn




I think it's going to have something to do with monkey feces.  But that's just a gut feeling.

 The ticker-tape watch is killing me.  I keep imagning the old Buck Rogers B&W serials where the special effects are toy rocket-ships with sparklers taped to their backsides.

"Let me just adjust the antannae on our inter-stellar transponder . . . drat!  We're getting interference-- who has some tin foil?"

(Crewman Johnson rips the shoulder off his Star Command dress uniform)  "Here you go sir!  Gee whiz I hope Miss Sub-bulbap's not sore with us!"


----------



## arwink

And the second game is done, with but a single session to go before one of we poor players must twist Capellan's arm into a fourth session (and then a fifth, and a sixth).

Of course, I'd settle for another update of our first adventure


----------



## Capellan

arwink said:
			
		

> And the second game is done, with but a single session to go before one of we poor players must twist Capellan's arm into a fourth session (and then a fifth, and a sixth).
> 
> Of course, I'd settle for another update of our first adventure




No update yet (though there will be one tomorrow, if I manage to get a lunch break at work), but how does an extra 15 sessions of Q-Ship grab you?  I heard a rumour that a bunch more episodes just turned up in some safety deposit box in Hong Kong ...


I'm weak, weak I tell you.  But they all played so darn well ...


----------



## arwink

15 extra sessions....hmm...I'll take it 

How many more can we get if we excavate the crawl space at the BBC?


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 4*

Nobody speaks for several moments after Gustav's announcement, then Commander Ivanov leans forward, steepling his hands,

"I want to be very clear about this, Doctor." He says, gravely, "So that everyone here is fully aware of what you're saying.  The Q-Drive can literally transport you - in an instant - anywhere in the universe?  There are no range limitations?"

"_Ja_.  It can you to any place you vish to go." Gustav pauses, then mutters in a musing tone,  "Perhaps even any time."

"Marvellous." Ivanov nods, "I just wanted to ensure that you are all clear on the capabilities of the drive.  Now, as I said, we've installed the Q-Drive into the _Pathfinder_, a Scout-class vessel.  We chose her for her speed, reliability, and range.  Unfortunately, she's a little small, so you will be rather crowded together during the mission."

"What a shame." Captain Fury's contemplative smile, still firmly fixed on S'Ondra, makes it clear that he doesn't find this troubling at all.

"We've also had to remove the standard laser-defence grid, in order to accommodate the drive."

"_What?_" Fury receives this news with far less equanimity.  "You did what?  What will we do for weapons?  Your actions are in direct violation of Space Force regulation two-one-seven, paragraph three, section -""

Ivanov gives his insubordinate subordinate an icy stare,

"No Space Force ship has fired a shot in anger in sixteen months, Captain." He interrupts, his tone brooking no argument, "In light of that, the Ministry approved a special dispensation to waive the regulation, for the purposes of this mission.  There simply isn't room on the _Pathfinder_ for any weapons."

"I bet there would be if we dumped some of _his_ junk." Fury gives a disgruntled thrust of his jaw toward Doctor Gustav, who appears oblivious to the argument, and is busily scribbling on a creased handkerchief with a stub of pencil.

"As I sought," he mutters, "to miniaturise ze Particle Analyser, all one would need is to improve ze -"

"_If_ I could have your attention." Ivanov raises his voice, glaring around the room.  Fury subsides, and even the Doctor looks up, once S'Ondra nudges him in the ribs. "As I said: the laser-grid has been removed.  The gravitic shields, on the other hand, are still installed.  These will protect the vessel from any foreseeable danger, as well as providing you with artificial gravity throughout the mission."

"Are there any other equipment issues we should know about?" Fury asks, in terse tones.

"You should find that you have everything else you need, in abundance." Ivanov replies, "We've even included a full year's worth of food supplies, miniaturised and concentrated: far more than you could possibly require for an eight-day mission such as this." He glances at his watch, "Now, if you will excuse me for a moment, I need to check on the arrangements for the press conference.  I will return in a few minutes.  I suggest you use the time to get better acquainted."

As Ivanov leaves, S'Ondra turns to Fury, acknowledging his presence for the very first time.

"We all already know each other." She informs him, frostily, "So I guess you're the only _stranger_ here.  I am Venusian Princess S'Ondra.  You may address me as 'Princess'."

"Like to be in charge, eh?" Fury gives a suggestive grin, then thrusts out his hand, suddenly business-like, "Captain John Fury, Princess.  Call me 'John'.  I'm sure we'll get to know each other _very_ well in the next week or so."

Doctor Gustav blinks owlishly,

"Was that an improper advance?" he 'whispers' to Archie, his voice actually loud enough to be heard throughout the room.

"Not quite, Doctor." The robot observes Fury with a remarkably evident distaste, given his complete inability to have a facial expression. "Though I would caution the Princess against touching his hand.  Scans indicate there are over four-hundred different bacteria present on his palm, alone."

"Goot." The Doctor flips through a notebook, only half-listening to the conversation, "My vife left very strict instructions regarding ze improper advances.  Keep your eyes open for zem, Archie."

"This is my guardian, Doctor Gustav, and his assistant, Archie." S'Ondra introduces the pair, though Fury seems oblivious to anyone but her. "The Doctor invented the Q-Drive, as you know, and Archie is indispensable to his work.  As for myself, I am the official Venusian representative on the mission.  Tell me, what was your function, again?"

"Well, Princess, I'll be the pilot." Fury smiles, "I'll take you for a ride you'll never forget."

S'Ondra ignores the double-entendre,

"A pilot, you say?  I'd heard that these new Space Force ships are so nearly automated that they can be piloted by a trained monkey." Her tone suggests that she'd prefer the hypothetical simian be on the mission than Fury.

"I'm the best Space Force has to offer!"

"Really?  I had no idea things were that bad.  Budget cuts, again?"


----------



## Piratecat

I wouldn't trade Captain Fury for a hyperintelligent space monkey...

but I'd sure consider it.


----------



## dpdx

Oooh - if the shields go down for _any ole reason_, everybody gets to float around!

Now back to your regularly scheduled commercial: K-Tel's _That's What I Call Polka_, available on 8-track, or LP!


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 5*

The door to the office slides open and Ivanov re-enters, forestalling any reply from the now furious Fury.

"All acquainted?  Marvellous." He claps his hands together, "I just have time to give you a detailed timetable for the mission, and we'll be ready for the press conference to begin.  Now, you'll be launching at oh-eight-hundred-hours tomorrow, then taking the standard flight path out to Pluto - that means _over_ the rings of Saturn, Captain.  The journey will take thirty-six hours, at which point you'll radio back to confirm your position, and activate the Q-Drive.  I believe the Doctor has chosen the Andromeda Cluster as your destination -"

"_Ja_.  It will be beautiful at zis time of year."

"- where you will spend eight hours collecting samples of space matter with the ship's hydraulic arm, before activating the Q-Drive and returning to our solar system.  Once you're back, send a radio message to let us know, and we'll have the celebration ready by the time you make it back here.  All clear?"

The four acknowledge that all is clear.

"Marvellous." Ivanov seems fond of the word, "Now: about the Press Conference.  All the usual Earth papers are there, as well as the Luna Herald.  The reporter from the Venusian Tribune -"

"Yay!" S'Ondra beams.

"- couldn't make it." Ivanov shrugs, uncomfortably, "Some kind of problem with departure visas, I believe.  Unfortunately, the Venusian Centurion _did_ send a representative.  As you would know Princess, that particular paper was very hostile toward your family, before their unfortunate demise.  He's been cautioned against raising political issues, but I hope you'll act responsibly if he attempts to insult you."

S'Ondra scowls, but nods her agreement.  Ivanov, plainly uncomfortable with her reluctant acquiescence, but with no other alternative but to grin and bear it - as he hopes the Princess will do - ushers the four into the Press Room.

They are met by a barrage of flash-bulbs, which fizz and pop repeatedly as the prospective spacefarers take their seats.  They have been placed behind a long, flat table, with a microphone in front of each of them.  Within moments of reaching his chair, Doctor Gustav has produced a small screwdriver and has largely disassembled his microphone, sorting the various small pieces into what appear to be colour-coded piles.

Ivanov signals that questions may begin, and a forest of hands shoots up.  He gestures to a young woman near the front of the room.  She has dark hair and a round face, and a sort of bland prettiness that is slightly marred by an oddly pugnacious nose.

"Sarah-Jane Parker of the _Luna Herald_." She identifies herself, "I have a question for Captain Fury."

"Young lady, I'm sure I have your answers." Fury smiles expansively, resting his forearm on the table and presenting his best profile to the cameras.

The young reporter simpers, earning a disgusted grumble from S'Ondra.  Distracted from her original question by this, the reporter smiles brightly at the Princess,

"Venusian Princess S'Ondra - if I may delay my question to you for a moment, Captain?"

Fury nods his permission with a graceful bow of his head,

"Princess, you must be very thrilled to be sharing this mission ... on such a _small_ vessel ... with the famous Captain Fury.  How does it feel to know that you're the envy of women throughout Mission City - including this very room?" the reporter faces S'Ondra, but her last four words are very clearly directed at the Captain.

"What?" S'Ondra makes a show of never having considered the matter, "Well ... I'm sure he's an adequate pilot."

"Thank you, Princess." Sarah-Jane acknowledges the response without really listening to it, immediately returning her gaze to the Captain, who now lounges back in his chair, giving her the come-hither look he likes to describe as "set phasers to _stun_".

"Captain," the reporter giggles girlishly, "As I mentioned, you're considered Mission City's most handsome and most eligible bachelor.  Hundreds of women throughout the city will be watching you leave on this mission, tomorrow, wishing that you'd spent your last night here with them.  Do you have anything you'd like to say to them all?"

"Why, certainly." Fury leans forward, upping his stare to 'kill'. "I'd just like to let them all know that it's the thought of all those beautiful women I've never met that gets me through these missions.  Knowing that everything I do, I do to protect them, and this free and democratic society of ours, gets me right _here_." He thumps his chest, over his heart, "I salute you all, beautiful women."

The reporter beams, her eyes misty as meets the Captain's gaze, which seems to promise that every word was meant just for her.  Hundreds of others, watching the interview on TV, share similar expressions and beliefs.

"And may I ask, Captain, if - on your safe return from your long and lonely mission - you would be willing to do a personal interview with me - with the _Luna Herald_?"

"I'd love to." Fury gives her a thumbs-up sign.

For a moment, Sarah-Jane Parker continues to stand, staring worshipfully at the brave and lusty Captain.  Then, with a small whimper, she collapses back to her seat.

There is a moment of silence, broken only by Doctor Gustav's soft mumble, as he arranges bit of microphone into small pyramids, before Commander Ivanov clears his throat,

"Are there any other questions?"


----------



## ledded

*gold...*

gold... just pure gold....

I *love* this thread...


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 6*

A tall, bearded man in a tweed suit is the first to raise his hand, and Ivanov calls on him for his question.  The man stands, seeming almost to unwind from his chair,

"I am Heinz Reikel of ze _Berlin Express_." He identifies himself, "Und my question is for ze goot Doctor."

"Eh?" Doctor Gustav, still fascinated with the innards of his microphone, looks up after a less than subtle nudge from Archie, "Vhat is it?"

"Herr Doctor," Reikel poises a sleek black pen over his notepad, "I vas vondering if you could explain to us ze reason why you haf chosen to bring ze girl and ze robot on ze mission with you."

"We want him to actually come back." Archie volunteers.  Gustav gives him a perplexed look, then leans forward to use the robot's microphone, as his own is still in pieces.

"I can answer zis question." He announces, "First, Archie is most important to ze mission, because he is a vital assistant to me in my vork.  Second, S'Ondra is most important to ze mission, because she is Venusian.  Ve vill be able to study ze effects of ze Q-Drive on her physiology." He pats S'Ondra's hand, "Von't be Leibchen?"

S'Ondra nods dutifully, while glaring death rays at the journalist who has questioned her right to be on the mission.

"Plus!" Gustav waves a finger in the air as a though occurs to him, "Plus, taking her along on ze mission will mean that I am nearby to keep her safe." He pats his pockets, as if looking for something, "My vife vas most insistent on ze matter of S'Ondra's saftery ... she put it on ze list at least three times ..."

Reikel frowns; an expression that comes naturally to his features,

"You're taking her across ze solar system and zen to another galaxy, 'to keep her safe'?  Doesn't zat seem a little counter-productive?"

"Not at all, Herr Reikel." Captain Fury leans forward, "I'll be there to look after her, remember."

"But -"

"_Safe_." Fury repeats, sternly, and Reikel subsides with a small whimper that is eerily reminiscent of Sarah-Jane Parker's.

"Next!" Ivanov calls, evidently eager to get onto a new topic.  He points to a bespectacled man in the front row, "You, sir."

"Yes, um, good." The man stands, fidgeting with his belongings, "Hmm.  My, um, question.  Yes.  My question.  Oh ... I'm Percival Smythe of the _New Scientific Review_.  I suppose I should, um, mention that.  Now, my question -"

"Would get answered much more quickly if you actually asked it." Archie suggests.

"What?  Hmmm, yes.  Actually, hmmm, my question is for you." The man shuffles his belongings again, then clears his throat, obviously reading from the bit of paper he's just found, "Do you R-CHI 23QX9, believe that your inclusion on this mission is an important issue in the campaign for robotic rights?  Do you feel you are making a political statement through your inclusion?  Is that your purpose in accompanying the Doctor?" Smythe stops, "Oh my ... was that one question, or three?"

"My purpose in accompanying Doctor Gustav," Archie notes, flatly, "Is to keep him safe.  And _clean_."

"Ah." Smythe pauses, glances in confusion at his notes, and then gives a half-shrug, "Well, um, thank you for your time."  He then, to the palpable relief of all in the room, sits down.

"If that is all -" Ivanov begins, clearly intending to bring the press session to a close.

"I have a question." The representative of the _Venusian Centurion_ surges to his feet.  He is a squat, bad-tempered looking fellow, with a flattened nose, and wears a heavy metal breastplate, plus a fur-crested helmet.  He jabs a finger at S'Ondra,

"How can the United Earth Government condone the inclusion of a notorious Venusian traitor and wanted criminal on a mission of this importance and sensitivity?"


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 7*

Captain Fury is on his feet before anyone else can react.

"_You will *not* speak to her that way._" his words are not loud, but they are spoken with such force that there is not a single person in the room who does not hear them.  Fury stalks out from behind the table, hand resting lightly on the grip of his Atomic Pistol.  That _could_ be unintentional, but no-one fools themselves for a second that it is.

"Princess S'Ondra is a valuable and necessary member of the mission crew." The Captain speaks the words quietly, without the venom of a few moments below, but there is no doubt at the flint-hard conviction behind them. "You will give her the respect she deserves, fellow, or I shall have you removed."

"I am a member of the Press Corps!" the Venusian sputters, brandishing his plastic name badge, "I have a right to be here."

"As does the Princess." Fury answers, "Do not compromise your own rights by challenging hers.  I suggest you sit down."

For a moment, the Venusian's eyes narrow, as he considers the human before him.  Fury is an inch or so taller, but the Venusian is broader of build, with a barrel-like chest and stocky limbs.  Then he looks into Fury's own eyes, and sees the steel within them.

With only a half-hearted mutter of resentment, the Venusian subsides into his chair.  For a long moment, Fury continues to regard him.  Then he lets his hand slip from the pistol by his side, and turns back to the shocked and silent journalists, a wide and pleasant smile on his face.

"Folks, it's been great to talk to you.  Tom -" he singles out a dark-skinned vid-journo, "I haven't seen you down at the R-ball Courts in a while.  Come down for a game, or you'll be getting flabby."

Tom waves off this remark, and pats his steel-hard torso, but Fury has already moved on, greeting people by name, slapping shoulders and asking about children.  The ugly confrontation of a moment before slips from people's minds.

Most people's, anyway.  S'Ondra sits at the table, imperiously ignoring the continued glare of the Venusian journalist, who is alone in not receiving any of Fury's bonhomie.  For a moment, as she regards the Captain, her face softens.  But then Fury reaches Sarah-Jane Parker, and while the kiss he gives her cheek is perfectly chaste, the placement of his hands as he does so is anything but.  S'Ondra's mask of cold indifference slams back into place, and she tosses her head angrily, before rising to her feet and walking to the exit.

Somehow, Fury makes it to the door before her, holding it open so she can pass through.  He gives her a melodramatic half-bow as he does so, lips still quirking with that boyish grin he does so well.  S'Ondra stops.

"Thank you for your assistance, Captain." Her words are a polite formality; a Princess thanking a servant who has been useful. "It was most appreciated."

"For you Princess, anything." The words come in a tone of complete sincerity, but there is a smudge of lipstick near the Captain's ear.  S'Ondra keeps her eyes on that, as she coldly nods an acknowledgement, before sweeping out of the room.

Fury, touching the point where he saw her looking, smears the red cosmetic across his fingertips.

"Damnation." he mutters, then shrugs and plucks out a handkerchief to wipe them clean.  By the time he turns back to the room, his best smouldering look is back in place. "Miss Parker!  I'm really looking forward to that interview you mentioned.  Would dinner next Saturday night be a suitable time?  There's a new French restaurant just opened on Gagarin Street.  I was thinking about giving it a try, but it's such a bore to go alone.  Perhaps you'd like to keep me company?"


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 8*

The next morning, the four crew members are driven out of the city to the space port, where the gleaming silver shape of the _XS-Pathfinder_ has pride of place upon the launch pad.

"She's a real beauty." Fury enthuses, "Fastest thing we have.  Earth to Pluto in thirty hours."

"Did not Commander Ivanov say thirty-six?" Doctor Gustav wonders his eyebrows beetling, "_Ja_.  I am sure that he did."

"Depends on the quality of your piloting, really." The Captain replies in airy tones, as their car draws to a halt at the foot of the _Pathfinder_'s stairs.  The four exit the vehicle, Fury emerging last, a small metal crate tucked under one arm.  "Emergency supplies." He tells the guard by the stairs, walking past before the man has a chance to react, "In case the MDR fails."

"MDR?" S'Ondra has not heard the term.

"Ze Matter Deconstitution and Reconstitution device, Leibchen." Doctor Gustav follows the Captain up the stairs, then turns to watch as Archie trundles into the ship through the aft cargo entrance, "For ze food."

Within a few minutes, the crew are all safely aboard the vessel and settled in.  As they have been warned, the quarters aboard the ship are quite small, though some effort does seem to have been made to ensure they are as comfortable as possible.

"Launch in ten minutes." The radio crackles.  Fury leans forward and flips a switch,

"Roger that, Tower." He flips the switch again, then turns back to face the others, "Strap yourself in, folks.  We've just got the usual flight checks to go through, and we'll be on our way."

As S'Ondra buckles herself into her seat, she has to admit that the Captain cuts a dashing figure in his uniform, even with the bulky atomic pistol hanging by his side.  Clipping her heat lance - a spear-like weapon capable of firing energy blasts - to the side of her chair, she surreptitiously admires his calm and professional attitude as he runs through the pre-flight checks.

"If only he wasn't such a -" words fail her, and she settles for an articulate exclamation "- the rest of the time."

"Vot vas zat, leibchen?"

"Nothing, Doctor." S'Ondra pretends to study the complicated board of instruments in front of her.  Venusians lack Erath's sophistication with technology, and nothing she is looking at has any meaning to her, "I was just wondering what all these things do."

As expected, this distracts the Doctor from his original question.  It also means sitting through a long and involved explanation of every knob and dial in sight, but the Princess has long ago learned how to tune out such lectures.

"All clear and confirmed, Tower." Fury snaps his seat belt closed, and pulls back two levers on the controls in front of him. "Launch in T-minus sixty."

"Confirmed, _Pathfinder_.  Good luck and Godspeed."

The voice of Space Port Control fades away, to be replaced by a mechanical sounding countdown.  As the count reaches ten, the ship's engines rumble into life, and Fury flicks a couple of last switches.

"Here we go!"

Super-heated Xenon flares from the ship's exhaust ports as the pad tilts, lifting the nose into launch position.  The _Pathfinder_'s view screen now looks directly up at the Space Port dome, which cracks open, the two halves sliding apart as the cold emptiness of space howls into the dome.  Safe within the ship, S'Ondra's fingers tighten on the arms of her seat.

"Atmosphere vented, Tower?"

"Atmosphere vented, Pathfinder.  You may launch when ready."

"Roger.  Launching now."

Fury grips the two levers he had previously pulled back into their locked position, and slowly and smoothly presses them forward.  The rumble of the engines sharpens into a fearsome whine, and then there is a sudden and deafening *ROAR* as the ship surges away from the ground.

Despite the noise, the ship's ascent is smooth and graceful.  Gauges all over the control board hover just a fraction below the red-line, as Fury pushes the ship right to its very limits - but never over them.  The moon falls away with startling speed, and within moments, the _Pathfinder_ is alone in space, hurtling toward the edge of the solar system, and its historic mission.


----------



## ledded

Man, I love this stuff.  Keep it coming!


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 9*

In the internal conflict between Fury's piloting skill and his adherence to orders, there can be only one outcome.  The Captain cannot help but deviate from the flight path outlined by Commander Ivanov, choosing to slalom _through_ the great rings of Saturn, rather than take the safer - and more boring - option of flying over.

"Are these abrupt changes of course really necessary, Captain?" Archie frowns - an impressive achievement for someone whose expression is static metal, "There have been several unsightly and unhygienic spillages caused by your piloting."

"It would be even more unsightly and unhygienic to be splattered all over one of these rocks." Fury grins broadly as he flips the _Pathfinder_ up and over a particularly erratic asteroid.

"Weren't we supposed to fly _over_ all this?" S'Ondra arches an eyebrow.

Fury has an excuse at the ready,

"It's useful practice for evasive manoeuvres.  After all, your Andromeda Cluster could be full of evil space aliens bent on our destruction." The Captain sounds quite pleased at the prospect. "Besides, Pluto's not going anywhere.  We'll get there on schedule.  Early, in fact.  I have to make a delivery."

"Delivery?" Doctor Gustav looks confused, "Vot sort of delivery?  I zought zis mission was solely for ze testing of ze Q-Drive."

"We're just going to squeeze this in as well.  It's a cost-cutting measure: two missions in one.  Besides, these are vital supplies." Fury assures them all with the glib assurance of someone who has used the same line many times before, then changes the subject before anyone can ask any really difficult questions, "So, Doctor, why did you call it the 'Q' drive, anyway?"

Gustav shrugs,

"It vas ze letter I vas up to."

"We do not speak of the C-Drive." Archie intones, his metallic body shuddering slightly.

"Well, don't worry folks.  I'll have you in place and ready to test out your contraption at thirty-six hours on the dot." Fury swoops the ship around another asteroid, "Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.  Oh ... you might want to keep your seat-belts fastened."

With Fury at the controls, the _Pathfinder_ reaches Pluto well over five hours early.  Rather than head on toward the designated mission launch point, however, the Captain signals Pluto Base, and then swings the ship down to land a short distance away from the Space Force complex.

Donning his space suit for the short walk to the base, Fury suggests that the others remain aboard the ship,

"I shouldn't be long." He promises, helmet tucked under one arm, "Just need to drop off these supplies." He slaps the box he had previously claimed was for emergency purposes.

"_Nein_.  Ve vill come along." Gustav's voice is muffled by the fact that he is struggling to get into his own suit as he talks.  His efforts aren't very successful, until Archie comes to his assistance. "Zank you, Archie.  As I vas saying, ve vill come along.  Zere are many of my colleagues serving here on ze base, monitoring ze universe for signs of intelligent creatures ... ozzer zan ourselves, of course."

"Of course." Fury gives a slightly tight-lipped smile, then shrugs and turns toward S'Ondra, "Coming, Prin-" his question chokes off as he watches the Venusian Princess all but _pour_ herself into a form-fitting spacesuit.  He'd never before realised how undressed a woman could look, without a scrap of flesh showing.

"Of course." The Princess unclamps her heat lance from the side of her chair, "It'll be a good chance to stretch my legs."

Fury, his attention distracted by the very limbs in question, nods mutely.

A minute or so later, the four space travellers emerge from the _Pathfinder_ and make their way across to the airlock of the Pluto Base.  Fury carries the large box in his arms, and all four move with slow care, due to the low gravity.

Despite the careful pace, the walk is a short one, and the four are soon within the airlock, waiting for it to pressurise with atmosphere.  This process takes only a few seconds, before a green light flashes, and they are able to remove their helmets.

As they do so, the inner door slides open, revealing a statuesque blonde woman in a too-tight Space Force uniform.  She leans with feline grace against the corridor wall, dark eyes firmly fixed on Captain Fury.

"Hello, Johnny," she purrs, with a slight lick of her lips, "It's nice to see you again."

S'Ondra growls.


----------



## Piratecat

Yay, an update!

Am I the only person who wants to see this filmed?


----------



## Mantreus

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Yay, an update!
> 
> Am I the only person who wants to see this filmed?



Considering that I know what the cast looks like, er... no 

(fearing the next CotRE/Saltmarsh/Halfling game)


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 10*

"Why, hello Darla." Fury gives the blonde a smile that's half an inch short of a leer, "I didn't know you'd be assigned here."

"I'm sure you didn't." Darla replies, archly, "You never call, you never write ... and you certainly never mentioned your new friend." She gestures languidly at S'Ondra, "Latest conquest, Johnny?"

"_I_ am Venusian Princess S'Ondra." the other woman declares, her back straightening. "I am certainly _not_ his conquest."

"Well, that's a surprise," Darla shrugs, "Don't tell me your skills must have slipped as much as your standards, Johnny?"

"Perhaps you could take us to see the Base Commander," Fury smiles bravely over S'Ondra's inarticulate gurgles of outrage, and links his arm with that of the beautiful blonde, "I'm sure we can continue this discussion later."

"I do not zink zat would be wise." Gustav shakes his head, "We do not have ze time for ze fraternising, _ja_?"

"Oh, there's always time for fraternising, Doctor." Fury calls over his shoulder.

Darla leads the four space adventurers along a series of plain, white-washed corridors, then knocks respectfully at a brass-plated door.

"Come in." the voice is male, stern and fatherly, but with a smooth timbre that doubtless set female hearts aquiver, thirty years ago - and could still do so now.  The group enters, revealing a sparsely-appointed office.  Seated behind a white, plastic-veneer desk is a man in the uniform of a Space Force Commander.  His hair is thinning slightly and his face shows signs of a life well-lived, but he's still fit and hale.  A brass plate on his desk names him as Commander Dawson.

"Ah, Lieutenant Gregg, I see you've brought out visitors." He waves for them all to take a seat, "Good to see you, John."

"And you, Sir." Fury salutes smartly, then grins and pulls a silver foil bag out of the box he is carrying, "Fresh Prince of Wales, sir.  Just came in with the last shipment."

"I see you're as popular with the shipping clerks as I was at your age." Commander Dawson smiles and takes the bag, "I think I'll put a pot on, now.  Are you staying long?"

"Just a whistle-stop visit, sir.  Actually, Lieutenant Gregg -" Fury gestures at Darla, "- has asked me to take a look at an anomaly in her readings.  If we may be dismissed?"

"Certainly." The older man nods, "Let me know if anything big comes up."

"Oh, I'm sure it will."

"Eh?" Gustav blinks.

"I said, 'I sure will'." Fury pats the scientist on the shoulder, "Too many dashed Americans in the Force these days.  Must be picking up bad habits from them."

The Captain and the smugly smiling Darla Gregg disappear from the room, as Commander Dawson invites the others to take a seat and join him for refreshments.

"Vell, actually, I vos vanting to hear about your operations here." Doctor Gustav nibbles on a shortbread biscuit from Fury's 'emergency supplies', "Have you discovered any signs yet of ze hostile alien intelligence?"

"No signs so far." Dawson shakes his head, then brightens, "But we're still looking!"

As the Commander passes around cups - S'Ondra pointedly refuses the offer - the door opens, readmitting Fury and Darla Gregg, whose once perfect hair is now a little mussed.

"Ah, Fury, you're back quickly."

"No doubt it was a very _small_ anomaly." Archie deadpans.

"Well, since you've expressed an interest in our operation, Doctor, I'll have the Lieutenant show you around the base." Dawson offers. 

"Oh, zat will be vonderful." Gustav appears to have forgotten his earlier concerns about wasting time.

"Perhaps we should be on our way?" Fury suggests, looking slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of keeping S'Ondra and Darla in the same room any longer than is necessary.

"No, we really must see the base." S'Ondra gives him a dismissive glance, "I know you've have seen everything the Lieutenant has to show, Captain - as has everyone in Space Force, I should expect - but the rest of us haven't had the tour, so far."

Darla sputters for a moment, then gives the Venusian a glare by which the Princess - who grew up with people who really were trying to kill her - is utterly unintimidated.  Finally, the Lieutenant musters a thin-lipped smile.

"Well, I won't show you everything - some of the systems are very technical, and I wouldn't want to bore you - but there are some areas, such as the main monitoring station, are simple enough for you to appreciate."

"So that would be where you work, then?"

A _very_ thin-lipped smile indeed.

"And of course, there are other areas that you can't access due to security reasons.  The crew quarters, for instance.  Only serving Space Force personnel - like Johnny here - can enter those."

"I'm sure he already has." S'Ondra dismisses the thought with a regal toss of her head. "So we shan't need to go there."

All things considered, it's remarkable that the tour concludes without actual bloodshed.


----------



## ledded

**Please**

Please, oh *please* keep this coming.  I am *so* enjoying this thread.

Great work.


----------



## Piratecat

I'm spending all my time reading this instead of updating my own.

I mean... err... *thinks fast* every time you update, I'll update!


----------



## Capellan

Piratecat said:
			
		

> I'm spending all my time reading this instead of updating my own.
> 
> I mean... err... *thinks fast* every time you update, I'll update!




This seems like a good time to reveal my new plan to update eight times a day.

Sure, each update will be between 5 and 10 words long, but that's a small price to pay for such regular entertainment, right?


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 11*

The designated location for the test of the Q-Drive lies approximately ten thousand miles outside Pluto's orbit.  Exactly thirty-five hours and fifty-nine minutes after launching from Mission City, the _Pathfinder_ glides into position.

"Spot on time, as promised." Fury announces with an ever-so-slight air of smugness.  He leans forward and toggles the radio control, "Mission Control, this is Pathfinder. We are in position, and await your clearance."

Immediately, the speakers crackle to life,

"Pathfinder, this is Mission Control.  Your mission is 'go'.  Repeat: you mission is 'go'.  Godspeed, Pathfinder."

"Acknowledged, Mission Control.  Mission is 'go'.  Launch in T-minus 20 seconds." Fury half-turns in his seat, "Doctor, it's your show now."

Gustav busies himself at his console, pressing buttons and flicking switches, muttering constantly under his breath as he does so,

"_Ja_." He announces at last, "Ve are ready to get zis show on ze road, as zey say."

He pushes the button.

White light *flares*.

The crew are silhouetted in their places.  Fury has a hand half-raised to shield his eyes.

The brilliant glare bleeds around them, their shapes disappearing into the intense white light.

Everything is silent.

.

.

.

.

And then there is a wrench of colour and confusion, a sudden babble of noise, and the light is gone.  The _Pathfinder_ floats, as it did before, in the dark void of space.

"All systems nominal." Fury is punching up diagnostics across the piloting console.  His hands move with smooth efficiency, and only the slight tension in his voice suggests that he is in any way unsettled by what just occurred.

"My sensors show all crew in good health." Archie reports, "Though Captain Fury needs to clean behind his ears more thoroughly."

Fury ignores the robot,

"Navigation systems place us in the Andromeda Cluster.  All other systems show green.  Transition successful."  Now, a note of admiration creeps into his voice, "Congratulations, Doctor, the Q-Drive is a success."

"_Ja_, of course." Gustav's response is all but unconscious, his attention focussed entirely on the view through the cockpit's canopy, "I am a genius."

"You couldn't even find a matching pair of socks, if it wasn't for Archie," S'Ondra teases her stepfather, then gives him a hug, "But you _are_ a genius, all the same."

"Deploying the hydraulic arm." Fury seems oblivious to the tender father-daughter moment, "Space matter concentrations are low, so I'm increasing power to the suction coils." He studies the readouts for a few moments, "Computer estimates that collecting sufficient sample matter will take eight hours.  I suggest we settle in and make some tea."

"Tea?" Gustav waves his hand dismissively, "Archie - break out ze schnapps!"

The four adventurers settle down to wait, sipping their respective drinks of choice and admiring the view.  The Andromeda Cluster proves every bit as beautiful as Gustav has promised; swathes of brightly-coloured gases flow and eddy around them.

Eventually, a series of lights across the top of S'Ondra's console begin to flash light up,

"Sample bins are full." She reports.

"Then let's head back home, and collect our medals." Fury gives a grin, "I'll have to show you my collection some time, Princess.  I keep them in a drawer at home."

"I doubt I'd be interested in anything that comes out of your drawers, Captain."

"Q-Drive ready for activation." Gustav announces, and presses the button.



Whiteness.  Silence.



The universe snaps back into place, and Fury immediately runs a new set of diagnostics, his fingers flying across the console.

"A little more warning would be appreciated next time, Doctor." He suggests, tersely, "Everything appears nominal.  Navigation reads Pluto at ten thousand miles, bearing Starboard-eighty."

He turns on the radio,

"Mission Control, this is _Pathfinder_.  Mission successful.  We're on our way home."

The soft hiss of the open radio channel fills the cabin.

Seconds tick by without a reply.

Fury frowns, leaning forward to activate the radio once more,

" Mission Control, this is _Pathfinder_.  I repeat: mission successful.  Please respond, Mission Control."

There is no answer.


----------



## Morte

Cue spooky organ music.


----------



## Morte

On second thougths, cue spooky theremin music.


----------



## ledded

*niiiiiiiiice*

Niiiiiiiiice.

More please.


----------



## robberbaron

Oh yes, more please.
This is really brightening up my day.


----------



## Piratecat

Me too... and I updated my story hour to say "thanks!"

What template are you using for the Venusian Princess?


----------



## Capellan

S'Ondra has the Gladiator archetype.

We've also started using the 'extra skill points' option from Toren Atkinson's website.  It makes the characters a fair bit more effective.  I don't have a link on me, but you can get to it via the Green Ronin messageboards.


----------



## arwink

Capellan said:
			
		

> It makes the characters a fair bit more effective.




Yes.  It's much more comforting to miss when rolling against higher skill scores 

And I'm fairly sure that Archie was playing _The Girl from Impimena_ as background music in there somewhere.


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 12*

"I have not found any evidence of mechanical failure within the radio systems." Archie reports, some minutes later, "However, there may be damage to the external transmitters or receivers, which I cannot assess from here."

"In any case, there's no need for concern." Fury assures them all, "I've set us on a course for Pluto, and we should be over the base in just a few moments."  As the Captain speaks, the grey-blue surface of the icy planet can be seen spinning slowly below them. "We can set down where we did last time, then walk over to the base and send the message from there -" he breaks off suddenly, a frown creasing his normally unlined brow. "That's odd."

"Vot is it?" Gustav asks, peering out of the viewscreen, "I zee nothing."

"Exactly." Fury taps some buttons and twiddles some dials, looking concerned, "There's nothing out there.  But all instruments say we should be looking right at the base."

"You lost it." Archie concludes mournfully, his visual receptors turning to the Doctor, "First, your socks.  Now, an entire military base.  This is really getting out of hand."

"Hush, Archie." S'Ondra hides a smile as she pats the robot on the shoulder, "I'm sure he'll work out what happened."

"Is it possible that we've come back to the wrong time co-ordinates?" Fury suggests, "All the spatial co-ordinates seem fine, but you mentioned that the Q-Drive uses time as well, didn't you Doctor."

"_Ja_.  I am sure ze co-ordinates were correct, but it is a good suggestion to check zem." Gustav punches up a display and then pulls out a small notepad.  After a few minutes of hurried scrawling with a well-chewed pencil, he shakes his head, "Ze calculations are all correct.  Zis is ze right time, and ze right place."

"Any other ideas, Doctor?" Fury lifts the ship's nose and heads away from the planet at full thrust, "I'm setting a course back for Mission City, so we can see if it's missing, as well.  But surely a boffin like you will have cracked this puzzle by the time we get there, eh?"

"I will certainly give it ze 'college try'." Gustav taps his lips with his fingers, frowing thoughtfully, "Perhaps it was caused by ze samples we took?  If ze space matter in ze Andromeda Cluster has an unknown energy signature, it might have caused a slight fluctuation in the Q-Drive.  Archie?" 

"Analysis shows no energy unusual emissions from the space matter, Doctor." The robot replies, reading the results off a printed report, "The dust appears mildly energised, and given it's granularity it will be extremely difficult to clean out of the hopper, but all readings are well within the Q-Drive's compensation parameters." He flips a page and pauses, a light blinking on the top of his metal cranium, "There _does_ appear to be a slight doppler effect on some of the readings, however.  Is it possible we have somehow got out of phase with the universe?"

"An interesting theory." muttering under his breath about quantum singularities, the Doctor begins scribbling manual calculations into the notepad with his right hand, while punching up a copy of Archie's results with his left.  "_Mein gott_!"

"Have you found something, Doctor?" S'Ondra leans over his shoulder, then shakes her head at the complex morass of symbols and numbers on screen, "Are you sure that thing's working alright?"

"_Ja_, the machine is fine." The Doctor shakes his head ruefully, "But zese results ..." he continues to scribble as he talks, the movements of his writing hand growing more and more jerky and rushed, "If zey are correct ... _ach!_" he breaks off with an exclamation.

"Don't keep us in suspense, Doctor." Fury twists in his chair to look back at the others, as Jupiter sails by the viewscreen, "What have you found?"

Gustav leans back in his chair and wipes what's left of his hair back with his hand,

"Ze spatial co-ordinates are correct." He reports, "As are those for ze time.  But we are in ze wrong universe."

"The universe?" Archie sounds incredulous, despite still speaking in a monotone, "You didn't just lose the base, you lost the _whole universe_?"

Gustav shakes his head,

"It is not ze _universe_ which is lost, Archie." He says in sombre tones, "It is _us_.  I am a fool not to have seen it."

"I don't understand." Fury frowns, "How can we be in the wrong universe?  You mean there is more than one?"

"It appears so." Gustav nods, "It was only a hypothesis, before now, but scientists have long theorised that zere might be one universe.  You see -" he flips to a new page of the notebook and begins drawing diagrams to illustrate his point, "Just as zere are three dimensions in ze physical world, zere are three dimensions of _potentiality_.  I programmed ze Q-Drive to compensate for ze one potentiality dimension of which we humans - and Venusians - are aware: ze dimension of time.  I did not zink to look for any more dimensions, but zey are zere." He gestures out of the window, "And now, so are we.  I have done an atomic analysis on ze matter in ze ship, and found ze co-ordinate entries that define zese dimensions."

"So can't you just put in the 'potentiality co-ordinates' of _our_ universe into the Q-Drive, and we can go home?" S'Ondra asks.

"Ah, leibchen, if only it was zat easy." Gustav shakes his head. "I have found ze co-ordinates of _zis_ universe, now zat I have looked for zem.  But I never did it for ze co-ordinates of our own universe.  And without zem, we cannot go home."


----------



## Piratecat

Stranded! Just like us, waiting for the next update.  

Make you a deal; you update tomorrow, and so will I!


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 13*

"You lost the whole _universe_?" Archie's servomotors whine in distress, though his voice remains as carefully modulated as ever.

"It is more zat _we_ are lost." Gustav defends himself, "Ze universe is still in ze same place."

"We just don't know where that is." Fury muses, then shrugs, "Let's head to Earth and see what's there.  Maybe we can make contact with the humans in this universe, and establish relations."`

"What about the Venusians?" S'Ondra suggests, "Why don't we go to _my_ people?"

"Princess, I'm not going to turn down any help we can find." Fury adjusts the ship's course very slightly, "But Earth is between here and Venus, so I suggest we go there first."

"Agreed." S'Ondra graciously nods, "I just wanted to make sure you were not forgetting me - my people, that is."

"We can check Mars on ze way to Earth." Gustav suggests, "And see if zey have founded Wells City here."

"Course is already laid in, Doctor." Fury jabs some buttons to punctuate his words, "Just sit back, relax and leave the driving to me.  Sleep if you can: I'm going to push to maximum speed, but the trip will still take twelve hours."

In the event, Fury manages to shave half an hour off his estimate, but Mars proves as barren as Pluto.

"There are no signs of recent habitation." Archie reports, as he checks the scans, "The last intelligent life on this Mars was the canal-builders."

The _Pathfinder_ moves on through the dark expanse of space, now closing rapidly with the blue and green ball of earth: except ...

"Does that look wrong to anyone else?" Fury frowns through the viewscreen.

"_Ja_." Gustav's eyebrows beetle together as he frowns, "Ze colour of ze land masses is not correct."

"They're all the same shade of brown." S'Ondra confirms, "It's a bit drab, but less ugly than that sickly green you usually have."

"Scan for signs of civilisation, Archie." Fury instructs, bringing the ship into a high orbit.

"Scans show construction and urban patterns roughly equivalent to those of the early nineteenth century." The robot reports.

"What was the population of Earth during that time?" the Captain asks, his eyes gleaming at the thought of all those women he's never met.

"If zeir technology is limited to that of the nineteenth century, it is unlikely zey will be able to assist us." Gustav points out.

"True." Fury acknowledges, and swings the _Pathfinder_'s nose away from the planet, "Let's check Venus.  Maybe _they're_ the advanced ones, in this universe." Then, suppressing a grin at S'Ondra's inarticulate sputters of rage, the Captain engages the engines. 

The Princess does not fall silent until Venus half-fills the view screen.  By then, it is clear that this planet appears almost identical in this universe to the one they call home.  An irregular swirl of white clouds obscures some of the surface, but the areas that can be seen - which is more than half of the total surface - have the familiar mottle of brown and red, interspersed with occasional patches of virulent purple.

"No signs of civilisation." Archie reports, as Fury opens his mouth to ask the question, "Sensors detect no artificial structures of any kind."

"Are there life signs?" S'Ondra bites her lip.

"Many." Archie scrolls through a report, "Your home planet has well over fourteen thousand catalogued life forms, all of which are in evidence.  It's very untidy."

S'Ondra swallows a most unladylike curse,

"Are there any life signs for _my_ people?"

"There are." The robot nods, "But they are scattered in small groups, and substantially less numerous than in our own universe."

"Sounds like Earth is our best bet, then." Fury spins the ship through one hundred and eighty degrees.

"What?  We came all this way for one quick look?" S'Ondra glares.

"Ze Captain is right, _leibchen_." Gustav places his hand on her arm, "Our main goal must be to return home, and ze Earth seems to offer us ze best hope for assistance."

S'Ondra subsides, nodding her resigned acceptance of the logic.  Drawing in a breath, she punches up a view of Venus on her console, and watches it silently as the ship speeds back toward the Earth.

"She misses her home, doesn't she?" Fury observes.

"_Ja_." Gustav looks mournful, "And her family even more.  She lost zem all during the fighting.  I could save only her." The older man makes his way back through the cabin, pausing briefly to give S'Ondra's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Three hours later, the _Pathfinder_ sits once more in high orbit above the Earth.

"If ze technology here is in ze nineteenth century, zere is probably nothing to be gained from hailing ze planet." Gustav remarks, "Zey will not have ze receivers or ze transmitters to communicate.  Archie?"

"Scanning." The robot toggles some switches on his display, then thumbs a button several times, "No radio signals."

"What about carbon emissions?" Fury suggests, "The industry of this time was coal-based, wasn't it?"

"_Ja_," Gustav nods his approval, "Zese people obviously would not yet have nuclear power. Ze carbon emissions should tell us where ze most advanced areas are."

"I am not detecting any carbon emissions." Archie's tone is flat, but his concern is evident, "There is no sign of functioning industry of any kind."

The crew share a look of concern.  Each knows the next question that must be asked, but it is Fury who takes the plunge, his voice cracking slightly as he says,

"How many human life signs, Archie?"

"None, Captain."


----------



## ledded

Oooooooo I'm just all tingly inside now.

More, more, more!  Um, please.  ;^)


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 14*

"None?"

"None."

"Damn." Fury shakes his head, then focuses on dealing with the situation, "What _are_ you picking up?  Is anything alive down there at all?"

Archie's metal hands run over the console, entering commands.  The computer chirps several times, then spits out a report with a clatter of percussion printing.

"Sensors report total biological life index is approximately seventy percent of the latest survey results from our Earth." As the robot reaches the last entries of the report, his visual receptors flash, "However, nearly ninety-eight percent of the biomass consists of the same life form."

"Which is?"

"Unknown.  It does not match any listed life form in our database, but it appears to be some kind of mould.  It is likely to be the cause of the planet's strange colouration."

"I think we need to go down there and have a look around." Fury says, pacing up and down the small cabin, "Try and get a sample of this stuff.  Can you analyse it, Doctor?"

"_Ja_." Gustav nods, "I haf very good instruments aboard zis vessel."

"What is the purpose of exposing ourselves to this unknown and probably dangerous substance?" Archie gestures at the report, "It seems likely that it killed all the humans in this reality, and at the very least it will be extremely unhygienic."

"We can wear our suits." Fury waves off the robot's concern.

"Besides, we need to find out about this stuff, in case it ever gets into space and reaches Venus." S'Ondra looks pensive, "Humans are not the only people in the solar system, after all."

"Zat is settled, zen." Gustav claps his hands, "Vere shall we land?"

Fury punches up a map on the console, and studies it for a few moments,

"I think we should avoid any major settlements," he says, "There's no telling how safe all the buildings will be.  We'll set down somewhere isolated." The Captain taps the console screen, "Here will do nicely."

Several minutes later, the _Pathfinder_ swoops down into a rock-strewn quarry, somewhere in Surrey.  Finding a relatively level area, Fury sets the ship down, then directs the others in donning their spacesuits.  It's possible he spends just that little bit longer than necessary in assisting S'Ondra, who stiffly informs him to attend to his own safety.

"I am quite old enough to look after myself." She reminds the Captain.

"Trust me, I've noticed." Fury murmurs, but does as she requests.

Archie stares through the viewscreen, his status lights blinking under the clear plastic hood he has donned for the expedition.

"The brown pigmentation of the planet clearly derives from this mould." He points at the substance in question.  This is an easy thing to do, as literally _everything_ in sight is covered in the brown substance.

"It looks almost furry, or fuzzy." S'Ondra observes, joining the robot.  Her skin-tight suit is as supple as the lady herself.  She frowns, "_Proper_ vegetation has spines.  And it should be red.  Or purple."

Eventaully, the four emerge from the vessel.  Fury takes the lead, his atomic pistol in hand, while S'Ondra and Archie walk on either side of Gustav: half protecting him from danger, half blocking him from rushing off without them.

"This substance is unsightly." Archie moves away from the others, and swings up his arms, "Permission to deploy plasma burners?"

"I am not sure if zat is wise ..." Gustav has already started unpacking a case of scientific equipment, "It vould not do to damage ze sample."

"Look around, Doc." Fury gestures with his pistol, "You're not going to run out of samples.  I say we give it a try, see if this stuff burns.  Useful scientific research."

"It's kind of spongy, but firm." S'Ondra reports, poking a nearby boulder with her finger.

"_Leibchen!_" Gustav flaps his hands, "Please do not touch ze strange growth!  Ve do not yet know if it is safe."

"Permission to deploy plasma burners?" Archie asks again, the bulky tubing of the fearsome weapons extruding from his forearms with a mechanical whir.

"_Ja_, OK." Gustav waves off the question with a weary shake of his head, still upset by S'Ondra's action.  For her own part, the Princess grumbles, but stops poking the mould.

"Please stand clear." Archie intones, and then there is a _whoosh_ of flame, as several gallons of super-heated plasma bursts from his forearms, spraying across a wide arc and igniting everything it touches.

The flow of plasma cuts off and Archie swings his arms up, a curl of smoke emerging from the twin barrels.

Slowly, the flames die out.

Impossibly, the mould seems all but untouched by the fire.  It is only lightly charred, despite the superheated punishment it has just taken.

Then it starts to bud.


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 15*

Strange pink pustules form on the skin of the charred mould, then swell and burst, spraying a fine cloud of brown spores into the air.

"Fascinating." Doctor Gustav rushes forward, using a small handheld sampler to suck up the cloud of spores, "Vot an amazingly adaptable life form."

"Fire didn't work." Archie's arms slump to his side.

"There, there, old man." Fury pats the robot's shoulder, "We've got a few more tricks up our sleeves."

"I don't have any sleeves."

"For instance, we've got my atomic pistol." Fury gestures with the aforementioned article, causing both S'Ondra and Archie to duck.  Gustav is too busy trying to scrape up a sample of the mould. "Let's see how this mould likes _that_."

The Captain makes an adjustment to his weapon, then targets a nearby rock and fires.  The pistol unleashes a yellow-green beam of energy, which strikes the rock squarely.  Nothing seems to happen, but Fury keeps the trigger depressed, and the beam continues unabated.  Slowly, the rock begins to glow white, then shimmers and disappears into thin air.

"Fabulous." Archie notes, "If we apply this on a larger scale, we can save the whole world by _disintegrating_ it." He pauses, "Though that would make it easier to clean."

"So it's not an ideal solution." Fury shrugs, "At least we know _something_ will work.  And I'm sure our boffin -" he nods at Gustav, "- will have all the answers soon enough.  Right, Doc?"

"_Ja_, of course." Gustav answers distractedly, not even looking up from his continued efforts to scrape mould samples, "I will eat it soon, leibchen."

S'Ondra rolls her eyes,

"I _knew_ he never listened to me when he was working." She mutters, stalking off along a nearby path, which wends its way out of the quarry.  Fury, watching her departing derriere with an approving tilt of one eyebrow, turns back to Archie.

"Say, do you think any of that stuff could have got on the ship?" he asks, in a nonchalant tone, "Maybe someone should check - that stuff looks pretty dirty."

A series of red lights flash across the robot's metal body, and then Archie turns and rushes back to the _Pathfinder_.

Fury, after a quick glance at the oblivious Doctor Gustav, heads after S'Ondra.

He finds the Venusian Princess standing at the top of one of the quarry's cliff faces, staring off across the drab landscape of undulating brown mould.

"What are you looking for, Princess?"

"There's a village over that way." S'Ondra points.  Fury squints in the direction she indicates,

"You sure?  It all looks the same to me."

S'Ondra sighs,

"Humans.  You're all blind." She glances back down into the quarry, where Gustav and Archie are both busily engaged in their respective obsessions. "I was planning to go and take a look."

"Would the Doctor be happy with you wandering off?"

"I don't need his permission for _everything_."

"I'm _very_ glad to hear it."

"Put your pistol back in your holster, Captain."

Fury stares at the Princess for a moment, then - when she indicates his atomic pistol, still clutched in his hand - flushes and holsters the weapon.

"Thank you." S'Ondra cradles her heat lance under one arm, "Given the scans, I doubt we're likely to meet anything dangerous, and I wouldn't want your weapon going off accidentally."


----------



## Piratecat

We don't know who plays S'Ondra, but we love them.


----------



## ledded

Piratecat said:
			
		

> We don't know who plays S'Ondra, but we love them.




I'll second that...  S'Ondra, you most judiciously rock.

Love the SH, keep up the good work man!  Great stuff.  I am thoroughly enjoying myself here.


----------



## Piratecat

OT: for the Boston game day, I wrote up a self-calculating Spaceship Zero character sheet in Excel. It reduces the number of steps in character creation down to about five, because it does all the math for you. Let me know if you want it!


----------



## Capellan

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Spaceship Zero character sheet in Excel





Sounds like a good deal to me.  E-mail's in the profile


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 16*

The village is deserted, buildings standing empty, and heavily overgrown with the strange brown mould.  There is no sign of life: not even insects stir.

"Where are the primitives?" S'Ondra complains, "I want to see Earth primitives."

"That looks like a public bar." Fury points to a hanging sign.  Faintly, the word's _The Royal Arms_ can be read through a layer of mould, "I'd say that's the kind of place people would have gathered when this - whatever this _is_ - happened."

"Will there be primitives?  I want to awe them with my mighty Venusian technology."

"I doubt it." Fury rolls his eyes, "Or the ship's sensors would have told us.  There should be whiskey, though.  And it's had plenty of time to age, by now."

"Whiskey?"

"It's an Earth drink.  You'll like it."

"I bet it's not as good as Grintak Blood."

"Actually, a lot of my friends say it's very similar." Fury reaches the door of the pub, then motions for S'Ondra to stand back, "Let me go first, Princess, it might be dangerous."

"What, a ferocious mould-eating herbivore might nuzzle me to death?" S'Ondra snorts and tosses her feather-like hair. "Let's just go in."

The interior of the pub is dark; mould coats the windows, keeping out most of the natural light; but the open doorway splashes light across several tables and a part of the bar.  All are thickly covered with the brown fungus, giving the whole place a drab and uniform look.

"There's your whiskey." S'Ondra points to some bottle-shaped lumps of mould on a shelf, "Though I wouldn't want to drink it."

"I think I'll have to pass." Fury looks mournfully at the bottles, then glances around the room, "I don't see anything useful here.  You?"

S'Ondra shakes her head in answer, and the two walk back out into the weak sunlight.  Fury shrugs,

"Can't hurt to check whether there _is_ anyone around." He observes, and cups his hands to his mouth. "_Hello!  Can anyone hear me?_"

As the echoes of his shout die away without answer, the Captain shrugs,

"I guess there's nothing here."

A sign creaks in the wind.

S'Ondra turns toward the sound.  As she does so, the wind gusts again, and a hanging sign just down the road swings noticeably, mould sloughing off it to reveal the words underneath.

"General Store and Post Office." She reads, "What's a Post Office?"

Fury shakes his head ruefully,

"It's what we should have looked for in the first place."

The pair make their way down the street and into the small building.  The interior is crowded with shelves and piles of boxes, all coated with mould, while one wall consists almost entirely of black iron post office boxes.

"What we need is -" Fury pauses, then bends down, peeling something away from the floor.  Dry brown mould showers off the object as he gives it a quick shake. "- this."

'This' is a newspaper.  The _Times_, in fact, with its cursive gothic masthead marching proudly across the page.  Beneath, in stark bold letters, is the headline:

*SPACE MOULD MENACE GROWS*

Beneath this is a grainy image of Big Ben, its clock face half grown-over with the all too familiar mould.

"Let's take this back to the Doc and Archie." The Captain tucks the newspaper under his arm, "I'm sure they'll want to see it, too."


----------



## robberbaron

I'm getting all goosebumpy in anticipation.


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 17*

"Ze meteorite struck in 1832." Doctor Gustav smoothes the paper out on his laboratory bench top as he scans the newspaper, "According to zis, it landed in Wales.  At first, it was considered to be just a scientific curiosity." He pauses, reading further, "But zen ze mould was discovered, growing upon it.  Zis was hailed as ze first conclusive proof of alien life.  However, zis excitement soon became fear.  Ze mould grew and grew, unstoppably.  Zey mention here many efforts to stop it: fire and explosives, as well as poisons, but none were able to stop its spread." He sighs deeply, "By ze time zis newspaper was printed, in late 1833, ze mold had already begun to appear in Europe, and was growing ever faster.  It was expected to cover ze whole world by ze end of 1835."

"Is the mould dangerous?" Fury asks, "Poisonous, perhaps?"

Gustav shakes his head,

"_Nein_.  Ze mould has no harmful effects, in and of itself, but as it grows, it coats _everyzing_.  Crops, grass, trees ... all vere smozzered beneath it.  Over time, all ze vegetation on ze Earth would have been choked to death and died."

"And once the plants died ..." Fury looks grim.

"... ze animals could not be far behind." Gustav nods, "It seems likely zat humanity on zis world must have died of starvation."

"How horrible." S'Ondra sounds sick, "But surely someone could have survived?  The oceans aren't covered.  If there were still fish, couldn't people survive on boats?"

"It is worth checking." Gustav agrees, "Archie?"

The robot strikes some keys on the console beside the lab table,

"I have initiated a sensor sweep, focussing on the oceans." He reports, "Analysis shows that there is still aquatic life, but there are no signs of vessels."

"Ships of the early nineteenth century were quite primitive, and usually small." Archie shakes his head, "And they were very labour intensive to build and maintain.  It is probable that some people held on for a few extra decades by doing as you suggested, but there would not have been enough of them to sustain the vessels, or their own population, over the long term."

"So there's no-one left alive." Fury leans against a console, arms crossed, "Which means there's no-one to help us.  That's a problem."

"There's still Venus." S'Ondra says, "We should go there."

"Is there any point?" Fury asks, "I'm sorry, Princess, but from our analysis, in this universe your people are still primitives.  There's nothing they could do to help us."

"Primitive or not, they're still alive." S'Ondra taps the newspaper, "This says the mould came from space.  What if it makes the jump from Earth to Venus?  My people could be destroyed, as well.  We should go there, and check."

Fury doesn't look convinced,

"If there _is_ mould, what then?" he asks, "Can we do anything about it?  The people of Earth couldn't."

"The people of Earth lack our level of technology." Archie observes, "And we have a full laboratory here, not to mention the Doctor."

"Yes.  The Doctor!" S'Ondra nods, "If anyone can work out how to stop this stuff, it's him.  He's quite brilliant, you know."

"Whatever his other faults, that at least is true." Archie concurs.

"Fine, we'll go." Fury holds up his hands to forestall any more efforts to convince him, "I still don't think it'll do us any good, but at least there are women - I mean, 'people' - on Venus."

The Captain makes his way to the cockpit, leaving Gustav to analyse the samples he has taken.  Archie conducts a final sweep of the ship's airlock, making sure that all traces of the mould have been vented.  S'Ondra, meanwhile, punches up a display of her home world.  As the red-orange globe spins slowly before here, she reaches out to touch the screen, her face pensive as painful memories stir.

The intercom crackles,

"We're ready for launch." Fury's voice is businesslike, though he can't entirely suppress his eagerness to be flying once again, "I'm going to take her up slowly, but safety regulations require me to recommend the use of safety harnesses at his time."

Launching three tons of metal into the air requires an enormous amount of brute force, but with Fury's deft hand at the controls, there is only the faintest lurch as the ship leaves the ground.  S'Ondra and Archie, secured in their seats, barely even feel it.  Gustav, standing in his laboratory, needs only take a small half step to keep his balance.

The newspaper, folded on the edge of the lab table, slips off, becoming wedged in a narrow gap by the side of a heavy filing cabinet.

Six hours later, as the _Pathfinder_ glides into orbit above Venus, the crew assembles in the cabin.  Even Gustav appears, after Archie pages him for the third time.

"Have you learned anything, Doctor?" Fury gets right to the point.

"A little, but I do not know zat it is of much use." Gustav crosses to a console and brings up a display.  Streams of strange symbols flash across the screen, "Intense cold seems to retard ze growth of ze mould, as do conditions of darkness.  Ze latter seems to have more of an effect zan ze temperature, in fact." He punches up another, equally incomprehensible, display, "Heat or flame is a very bad idea.  Ze mould reacts strongly to zis, growing at a rapid rate."

Archie makes a soft whirr of frustration.

"What about nuclear energy?" Fury taps his atomic pistol meaningfully.

"It is highly resistant." Gustav shakes his head, "I do not zink zat will be a solution."

"Do we have a solution?" S'Ondra asks, her gaze turning to the viewport, through which the surface of Venus can be seen.

"Not yet." Gustav admits, "However, given ze behaviour of ze mould, I zink it is safe to say zat it has not yet reached Venus.  If it had, ze hot, wet weather would have quickly led to ze whole planet being covered."

"Great." S'Ondra slams her fist onto the console, "So my people are fine for now, but as soon as the infestation starts, they're doomed?"

"That's not certain, _Leibchen_." Gustav tries to comfort her, but the Princess shakes off the hand he lays on her shoulder.

"The Doc will find a solution." Fury speaks with confidence, "These boffins always do, S'Ondra.  You'll see." 

Gustav looks flattered.  S'Ondra looks hopeful, but unconvinced.

"We should go and see my people." She says, at last, "Perhaps the mould already came here, and they destroyed it!"

From the looks this suggestion receives, its clear no-one else believes it.  However ...

"Getting out of the ship might do us all some good." Fury agrees, "And to be honest, stranger things have happened, today."

"It will be dirty." Archie resists, "And we should continue the research."

"Ze research will still be here when we return." Gustav agrees, "And zere are compounds native to Venus zat are not found on Earth, perhaps zese will be of help."

This seems to decide the argument, and Fury pilots the _Pathfinder_ down to the planet's surface.

"There's a place we can land." He points out of the viewscreen.

"Where?" S'Ondra looks concerned, "That tiny clearing?  Is it big enough?"

"Big enough to satisfy all your needs, Princess."

The clearing is a very tight squeeze for the ship, but Fury settles the _Pathfinder_ neatly into the middle, with only a few feet of space on every side.

"Should we suit up?" Archie suggests, "There may be strange Venusian germs."

"I think we've all had time to get used to those, old boy." Fury nods at S'Ondra, who is already at the airlock door. "Let's go take a look at this place."

"You'll love Venus." The Princess exclaims happily, as the four space adventurers exit the vessel, "None of your pasty, washed out blues and greens here.  _Proper_ vegetation is red, or purple. " She swings her arm, presenting the alien landscape before them.  Venusian vegetation is indeed mostly red or purple, and thick with large, flat leaves or wickedly barbed spines.  S'Ondra inhales deeply, "It's good to be home, and smell the air of Venus once again."

"Absolutely." Fury nods, "I love the smell of compost in the morning."

As Archie seals the ship, and the four adventurers set out, we float back inside the _Pathfinder_, to Gustav's laboratory.

The newspaper, wedged between the filing cabinet and the table, drops to the floor.  The pages spill open, and a fine dusting of brown space mould scatters into the air ...


----------



## Piratecat

Oh, that can't be good. Nope. Not good at all.


----------



## Conaill

So, who _didn't_ see that one coming? (apart from the actual players, of course )

I blame it all on Archie. After all it _is_ his duty to get rid of any dangerous germs!


----------



## arwink

Sure, everyone blames Archie.  After all - *he's* just a robot.  It's not like he's got feelings.  It's not like he's got enough to do, keeping the greatest living mind in the universe from dissappearing.  

I mean, do you know what happens to Gustav if I take my eyes off him for a single minute?  Really?  Just be thankful that we're muddling around in someone elses reality, buddy, because it'd only be a matter of time before he destroyed yours if I wasn't there to stop him...


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 18*

Outside, the four space adventurers follow a dusty track through the dense tangle of Venusian vegetation.  Most of the plants around them have a tubular or bulbous shape, with spined leaves sticking out at all angles.  Few have flowers, and even those few that do, resemble cacti more than any other Earth-plant.

"You vill notice ze lack of insects." As they walk, Gustav conducts an impromptu lecture on the surrounding fauna and flora, "ze Venusian plants do not use zem for pollination -"

A woman's scream rings out.

"It came from over there!" Fury points left, then dives into the jungle.  Whether he's running toward the scream or away from the Doctor's lecture is no entirely clear.  The other three pursue, and within seconds, all four of them are out of sight as they go crashing through the undergrowth.

"Woah!" Fury comes racing out of the jungle, but skids to a halt immediately, arms wind-milling to retain his balance as he finds himself on the edge of a cliff face.  Below, in a narrow ravine, a lithe young woman races from rock to rock.  As she runs, she screams again.

Half-stalking, half-shuffling up the ravine behind her is a large but clumsy Venusian predator.  The beast seems to be having some trouble with the obstructions it is forced to negotiate, but - thanks to the girl's frequent pauses to glance back and scream - it is slowly closing the distance to its prey.

"A Grognor!" S'Ondra skids to a halt beside him, her heat lance held ready as a spear, "Big, but no more intelligent than your Earth predators."

"We have to save her!" the Captain cries, beginning to scramble down the side of the ravine.  Behind him, S'ondra rolls her eyes.

"What a great plan.  Charge the _woman_, not the monster."

Racing across the rocks, Fury reaches the woman's side, and swings him behind her.

"Don't worry, Miss!" he calls over his shoulder, "I'll keep you safe."

Sighting his atomic pistol on the Grognor, he presses the firing stud.  Unfortunately, the power capacitor shorts out, causing a shower of sparks, several of which ignite a nearby bush.  Behind the Captain, the woman whimpers, cowering away from the flames.

"Damnation." Fury curses mildly as he tries to work the capacitor free, "Must have burned out then I disintegrated that rock." He glances up as the Grognor draws nearer, raising its clawed hands above its head and bellowing.

"Yaaaaah!" S'Ondra leaps at the creature from the side, drawing its attention away from Fury and the native woman.  The Princess' stab with her lance fails to draw blood, but it does fulfil its primary role, as the beast turns, swiping clumsily at her.

"Get back, leibchen!" Gustav calls.  The Doctor is hanging from Archie's back as the robot trundles across the ravine floor.  The twin exhausts of Archie's plasma burners are turned toward the Grognor.

"Indeed, Princess.  Please stand clear as I sterilise this contaminant."

S'Ondra leaps back as two jets of superheated plasma spray out over the creature, which bellows in fear and rage.  The woman they are trying to rescue whimpers again, huddling and clinging to Fury's leg.

Despite the massive injuries it must have suffered, and the patches of its skin that are still on fire, the Grognor charges forward, one clawed fist pounding against Archie's shoulder.  The robot is undented and undaunted, but Gustav is forced to slide off his back.

"Keep avay from my leibchen!" the old man shouts, brandishing a wrench.  His leibchen, meanwhile, makes use of the space that has opened up between her and the creature.  Spinning her heat lance up to her shoulder, she sights along the shaft.  The crystal head glows orange, and a bolt of concentrated heat energy flies from the tip.  Unfortunately, the Grognar drops to all fours as she fires, and the shot goes over its head.

Bellowing again, the creature charges toward the Princess, swinging its head down to try and bite her.  S'Ondra manages to twist out of the way of its teeth, but the creature's powerful lunge knocks her from her feet.

"Now you've made her dirty!" Archie lumbers in, clouting the Grognor with his fists.  Gustav and Fury also attempt to pound at the creature, but they lack the robot's sheer physical strength.  The Grognor, bellowing in anger, batters its way free of all three, rearing up over S'Ondra with a triumphant roar.

The roar suddenly chokes off into a confused mewl of shock and pain.  Staggering, the beast tries to force out another bellow, but manages only a tired wheeze.  It staggers back from the Princess, and the source of its sudden distress is apparent: S'Ondra has driven her heat lance deep into its chest.

"Never hunt more than you can handle." The Princess quietly observes, as she scrambles to her feet.  The Grognor cocks its head at her, as if trying to parse this concept, but then its legs give way and it tumbles to the ground, stone dead.

"Remind me never to get her angry." Fury holsters his atomic pistol and hurries to the side of the Venusian native.  As he does so, she cowers down, throwing up and arm to shield herself, and he slows his approach, "It's okay.  We're here to help."

No Venusian of this universe can ever have heard human speech before, so the words are meaningless, but the tone of them gets through to the young woman.  Slowly, trembling slightly, she lowers her arm.

"Mein gott." Gustav's wrench clatters to the ground.

"And mine." Fury agrees, staring at the woman with a mixture of shock and pleasure.

Despite the streaks of dirt on her skin, and the bikini-like furs that she wears, there is no mistaking it: the woman is S'Ondra.


----------



## Piratecat

Cool! I didn't expect that. Did Fury roll a 00 on his pistol shot?


----------



## Capellan

Fury's roll was bad, but not quite that bad.  When I was running the game, I explained his miss as an exploding capacitor setting something alight for three reasons:
(a) it's much more interesting than "you miss" 
(b) to establish that the Venusians didn't have fire (hence Savage S'Ondra's reaction to the flames)
(c) to give them a non-lethal way of driving off the Grognor, should they wish to use it.  Burning torches would have scared it off, had they tried to use them.  

As can be seen, the players were happy to simply kill the Grognor, instead.  They went on to use fire as a plot point in ways I hadn't expected, however - but more on that in later posts


----------



## Plane Sailing

How on earth did I miss Q-Ship when it first appeared? I've not had as much fun reading as this for years!

I'm *seriously* going to have to think about running Starship Zero (or persuading RobberBaron to run it for me )

This is going to be one of those rare storyhours that I subscribe to, just to make sure that I don't miss anything!

Cheers


----------



## robberbaron

I think this would be a real blast to run, but it would siphon off some creative juice from my D&D1+ and Star Wars games. 
Or, it could take PS's effort away from Kyri. Nooooooooo, I want to play Trajan! 

Aaaarrrggghhh! I can't take it! There are too many great games now, and I want to run and play all of them. There are simply not enough weekends   .

SICD (slumps in chair despondantly).


----------



## Piratecat

I found Spaceship Zero reinvigorated my creative juices instead of siphoning them off. It's a very different genre from my normal game, and as a result the game makes me think quite differently when when I design characters and adventures. That's a good thing.


----------



## robberbaron

Hmm. Right, time for a look, then.


----------



## Piratecat

Here's the link to the product page of the game, and here's my character building sheet to make character generation MUCH faster. I put in some formulas to do most of the work for you. There's a sample character in there, too, to demonstrate how it works.

EDIT - attachments are sluggish right now. I'll add the character sheet later.


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 19*

This Savage S'Ondra stares up at Fury, who stands silhouetted against the red glare of the Venusian sky, smoke still curling from the fused power capacitor of his atomic pistol.  Then , with a choked off sob, she hurls herself into his arms, kissing him passionately.

"My," Archie observes, sensors whirring as he analyses the dirt-streaked Venusian girl, "How unsanitary."

"Yeah." The Q-Ship's version of S'Ondra scowls and steps forward, pulling her twin's arm, "Get away from him - he'll give you all kinds of nasty Earth diseases."

Savage S'Ondra at first tries to pull free of her civilised counterpart, but when the latter persists, the fur-clad princess turns to face her.  Instantly, her face goes pale, and she huddles behind Fury, peering past him at her doppelganger.

"Oh, for goodness' sake, pull yourself together." S'Ondra snorts, in a tone of voice that sets her twin cowering further behind Fury: a development that the Captain does not seem to mind at all.

"I do not zink she can understands English." Gustav observes, peering over his glasses at the two S'Ondras. "How vill ve communicate?  Perhaps I can be making ze translation device."

"We shouldn't need to." S'Ondra - the original - sighs, and then, softening her tone, calls out to the cowering woman, "It's alright, I'm here to help, but you need to move away from that man.  He's diseased.(1)"

Savage S'Ondra's only reaction is to look confused, and her Q-Ship counterpart throws her hands in the air.

"Bah!  She's too stupid even to understand her own language."

"So she doesn't talk?  My kind of woman." Fury smirks, "Maybe we can get her to take us to the nearest settlement.  We might be able to find some way to communicate with them."

"_Ja_.  I am sure I could rig up a machine to allow communication, if ve could only hear zere language."

"If they have one." S'Ondra mutters darkly.

"Well, sign language should work." Fury suggests.  Pointing at the body of the creature they slew, he mimes eating, then rubs his belly as if satisfied with a meal.  His actions prompt a timid smile from the fur-clad Venusian, and - after a little more coaxing - she gestures for them to pick up the body, before pointing to the west and repeating Fury's eating mime.

Shying away from the fire, Savage S'Ondra leads them along the ravine floor.  Archie brings up the rear, carrying the creature's body and muttering plaintively about the unsanitary fluids and bacteria.

Eventually, their slow progress brings them within sight of a cliff face, which is marked with many cave entrances.  There is no sign of any huts, nor fire-pits, but there are several fur-clad figures moving around.  Savage S'Ondra stops and points, exclaiming "Dogar!" again and again.

"Definitely a settlement of some kind." Fury shades his eyes, "Not large, though."

"Given ze apparent lack of technology, zey could not gather in large groups." Is Gustav's analysis.  The Doctor has an electronic device in hand.  The back of the device is open, and he is probing with it with a screwdriver, muttering about the 'spectromic converter'.

"What's that for?" Fury asks, taking a half-step away.

"Zis was a biological analysis device from ze ship." Gustav explains, "I am attempting to convert it, so zat ze machine will pick up and analyse sounds waves.  Perhaps zis vay we can interpret ze language of these primitives." He glances at S'Ondra, "No offence meant, leibchcn."

S'Ondra, who has been listening to her counterpart's excited chatter, grunts and holds up a hand,

"I don't think we'll be needing the device, Doctor." She nods in satisfaction, "I didn't recognise it at first, because the accent's all wrong, and there grammar's non-existent, but she _is_ speaking Venusian - just with a very limited vocabulary.  I should be able to communicate with them."

As the group approaches the settlement - and Gustav obliviously continues to work on his translator, despite S'Ondra's words - the largest and strongest of the male Venusians moves to intercept them.  He brandishes a club and barks a greeting - and a challenge:

"Me chief.  Who you?"

"What did he say?" Fury asks, hand on pistol.  S'Ondra ignores him.

"Me woman chief.  We friends." S'Ondra gestures at the carcass of the Grognor and thumps her chest, "We kill beast. "

The chief grunts, staring at the dead beast for a moment, then giving S'Ondra and the others a thorough inspection.  Finally, he nods.

"You mighty." He acknowledges, then points at S'Ondra's twin, "You want girl?"

"No.  She weak.  She fears.  We not want her." S'Ondra waves her hand dismissively. 

"You look her."

"No.  She look me."

The chief obviously does not understand the significance of this distinction, but he shrugs, then sweeps his club, gesturing at the motley group before him. "You strange.  What tribe you?"


"Uh ..." S'Ondra glances at the others, "He wants to know what tribe we are."

"Tell him we're from the stars." Fury responds immediately.

"We can't do that." S'Ondra objects, "They'll think we're gods, or something."

Fury shrugs,

"And what harm will that do?" he asks, "They'll be more likely to help us, if they think that."

"I'm not making a bunch of humans into my people's gods." S'Ondra snaps, "Even if my people are all ignorant savages in this world, they deserve better than that."

"We could help them, if they thought we were gods." Archie offers, "Teach them the value of cleanliness, and dedicate them to the battle to destroy germs ..."

"We from far." S'Ondra decides to ignore the 'advice' of her companions, "You not know."

The Venusian considers this answer for a moment, then shrugs, and thrusts his club toward S'Ondra,

"Me chief.  You chief.  We mate.  Strong tribe."



(1) everything in green text is translated from the original Venusian


----------



## KidCthulhu

Ah, I wondered how long it would be before the "m" word was used.  It's just not a savage tribe until someone talks about mating.


----------



## ledded

Capellan said:
			
		

> <snip>
> "You look her."
> 
> "No. She look me."



rotflmao...  that was good...



> <snip>
> 
> "Me chief. You chief. We mate. Strong tribe."



Eek!  Can't wait to see how this works out...  

Great work.  I'm really digging this SH.  I just *wish* I could get my group interested in anything even remotely resembling Pulp, whatever the particular genre.


----------



## Capellan

Our next session (the 5th - and this SH is only halfway through the 1st   ) is on December 27th.

In honour of the season, I shall be presenting a game that can best be described as "_It's a Wonderful Life_: with ray-guns".

Glee!


----------



## KidCthulhu

Capellan said:
			
		

> "_It's a Wonderful Life_: with ray-guns".




Of course it's a wonderful life with ray guns.  It's even a better life with plasma cannons..


----------



## Ao the Overkitty

You need to post faster Capellan. ^_^

Keep the goodness coming.


----------



## jezter6

I have to say...I (in general) hate sci-fi, but this made me spit mountain dew, and laugh so hard I stopped reading after page 2 to take a bathroom break.

I love it! keep it coming


----------



## arwink

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> Of course it's a wonderful life with ray guns.  It's even a better life with plasma cannons..




If we're lucky, Archie should have the plasmer burners back by the time we play.

Otherwise I think Christmas may be a tad traumatic for him.


----------



## jezter6

Back to the top you go!

Now, where are all them updates?


----------



## megamania

This is looking very close to a story ark I had in mind for Strikeforce:Morituri.  Keep going.  I'm curious now.


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 20*

S'Ondra gapes.

"Could you get him to repeat zat, leibchen?" Gustav is fussing with a variety of multi-coloured wires, "I zink I have my translation device almost ready."

Finally, the Princess closes her mouth, and shakes her head emphatically.

"No."

"No?" Gustav blinks, "Really, Leichen, I did not zink it would be so ha-"

"_No?_" the Venusian male belows, raising his club, "What mean you, no?"

"Oh!" Gustav beams. "Ze translator vorks!  Vy is he so upset, leibchen?"

Fury, on the other hand, thinks enough like a prehistoric Venusian savage to know _exactly_ why the chief is upset.  Smoothly, he draws his atomic pistol and unleashes a blast.  The beam strikes the club squarely.  For a moment, the gnarled wood glows white, and then the whole thing vaporises, leaving only a faintly smoking stub in the Venusian's hand.

All hell breaks loose.

Screaming Venusians run in all directions, shouting and waving their arms in terror.  "Demons!" they cry, again and again, the translation coming through as a confused and tinny sounding babble from the Doctor's machine.

"We're not demons!" S'Ondra rolls her eyes, "Come one - you're embarrassing our people here ..."

"*We not demons!*" Archie bellows, his voice somehow amplified by the tiny translation device.  The sheer volume of his announcement brings the chaos to a shattering halt.  Seizing the moment, he raises his arms and unleashes a mighty pillar of plasma, which blazes high into the sky, "*We Gods!*"

Suddenly, the Q-shippers find themselves surrounded by a horde of prostrate Venusians, all bowing and fawning.

"That's right!" Fury strikes a dramatic pose.  "We're gods!  And we're here to bring you the gift of ..." he casts around wildly for an idea, then notices several smouldering remains of Archie's display, "... the gift of fire!"

"And hygiene." The robot adds, "We also bring you the gift of hygiene."

"Uh ... and hygiene." Fury shoots Archie a look that speaks volumes: _Don't help_.

"Now," the Captain continues, staring at the cowering natives, "in exchange for these gifts, you will do as we say, or we will blow you back to the stone-age ... back out of the stone-age, to whatever came before it."

"And mops." Archie adds, "We also bring them mops."

S'Ondra stamps her foot,

"I can't believe you're treating my people like this!" she exclaims, "Surely you Space Force must have some of directive against interfering with a primitive race this way?"

Fury pauses, mentally ticking off the 1,273 clauses of the Space Force Regulations.

"No." he announces at last, "It's pretty much carte blanche with the natives."  Suddenly, his eye falls on Savage S'Ondra, who cowers nearby, "Well hello, pretty lady."

"She doesn't understand you." S'Ondra rolls her eyes, "None of them do.  They haven't understood a word since Archie blasted fire.  You have to speak at their level." She turns to her stone-age counterpart, "Not touch him.  He sick.  Very bad."

Savage S'Ondra cringes back and little, then runs to hide behind her civilised counterpart.

"Hey ... what did you say to her?" Fury comes dangerously close to pouting.

"Never mind." S'Ondra waves the question away.

"I vill bring over ze translator, so zat we can all speak to ze natives."

S'Ondra looks less than pleased with the Doctor's initiative, the shrugs it off.

"What do we do now, oh mighty godling?" she asks Fury, gesturing at the Venusians.  Several are clustered around Archie, who has cobbled together a brush of wood and straw and is demonstrating the principles of sweeping.

"We talk to the chief." Fury answers with aplomb, "Always go to the man in charge."

The chief, once he has got over the shock of his club emasculation, seems eager to meet with the space adventurers.

"You bring big power!" he exclaims, eyes shining. "We make war other tribes.  Conquer all."

"No." Fury pauses, waiting for the chatter of the machine to catch up with him.  As he resumes speaking, his voice and that of the translator blend together, until it seems as if his English words are also the Venusian, "War wrong."

"War good."

"War _wrong_."

"War mean many women."

Fury doesn't have an answer for that.

"We not war." S'Ondra interjects firmly, "All tribes be friends.  Stronger than one tribe."

"No war?"

"No war."

"Why gods come if no war?"

"Uh ... seek know why girl look like woman-God." S'Onder gestures at her doppleganger, then pauses and turns to her stepfather, "Doctor ... do you think that comparing her atoms to mine, might tell us how to get home?"

"It vill not be zat simple." Gustav shakes his head, "Ze atoms of our boies have already become like zose of zis universe." then he brightens, "But with ze control specimen, zere may be ze way to trace ze mutation!  Come, we must go back to ze ship.  Bring ze girl!"

"What is ship?" the Savage S'Ondra steps back, obviously fearful.

"It's a sky chariot." Fury extemporises.

"Do these people look like they know what a chariot is?" S'Ondra snorts, "They don't have the wheel, Captain."

Fury makes a disgusted noise, waving off the complaint,

"You come!" he commands, "Gods order it.  Others stay here. "

Thus, the four space travellers and S'Ondra's duplicate set out for the _Pathfinder_, the shy savage slowly drifting back to Fury's side, especially once the Captain uses the translator to repudiate S'Ondra's claims of disease.

"How much further?" Fury asks, dabbing at his brow with a monogrammed handkerchief, "It's dashed hot."

"The _Pathfinder_ is approximately one hundred and - oh dear." Archie comes to a sudden halt.  As the others draw up behind him, they see the source of the robot's dismay.

Brown space mould spills across the Venusian flora, in a thick carpet that leads back a huge mound of the stuff: a mound which is the only sign of the _Pathfinder_'s location.


----------



## robberbaron

3rd page?
Oh no you don't. Burmp.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Capellan said:
			
		

> Brown space mould spills across the Venusian flora, in a thick carpet that leads back a huge mound of the stuff: a mound which is the only sign of the _Pathfinder_'s location.




_Dun-dun DUN!_



I love how every post of this story hour finishes with the sound of a melodramatic chord.

-z


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> Brown space mould spills across the Venusian flora, in a thick carpet that leads back a huge mound of the stuff: a mound which is the only sign of the _Pathfinder_'s location.




That's the one advantage of the wait for updates... I had forgotten about that speck of brain space mould. Oh dear.


----------



## arwink

Zaruthustran said:
			
		

> I love how every post of this story hour finishes with the sound of a melodramatic chord.




Just think of them as ad breaks.  Lord knows Capellan puts them in as such when we're gaming


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 21*

"_Nooooooooooooooooo!_" S'Ondra falls to her knees, hands raised before her.  It's a performance of which Charlton Heston could be proud.

"Zere zere, Leibchen." Gustav pats her on the shoulder in an awkward attempt at comfort, "I am sure zat we will be able to solve zis conundrum."

"It seems to be growing very fast." Fury observes, "We haven't been gone that long."

"_Ja_.  It is ze hot, humid conditions of zis world." Gustav tears a broad, fibrous leaf from a nearby plant and begins scrawlin on it with a pen, "I estimate zat ze rate of growth is more zan twice what it would have been on ze Earth."

"_Nooooooooooooooooo!_"

"It is extremely unsightly and unhygienic, and must be cleansed."

"That you both for your contributions." Fury turns to Gustav, "Doctor, do you have any theories on how to destroy this stuff?  What if we were to fly through the sun with it?  Surely that would destroy anything?"

"Oh, I zink zat is true." Gustav nods agreeably, "Including _us_, of course."

"Ah." Fury taps his teeth, "Very true, old man.  Though perhaps we could channel all power to the -"

"To ze what?" Gustav shakes his head, "To ze shields, so zat ze ship will not disintegrate in ze flames?  To ze life support, so zat we are not cooked like ze sausages in ze pan?  Or to ze engines, so zat we can escape ze gravitational pull of ze sun.  _Nein_, Captain.  I am a physicist, not a magician.  Ze ship cannot take such strain."

Fury snorts, 

"That's what you techie types always say.  Not that I suppose it matters much, when we can't even reach the old girl under all that mould."

"There must be some other way to destroy it!" S'Ondra stares up at them from where she still needs in the dirt.  Her savage counterpart is staring at her in bewildered fashion, "You can't let my people die."

"We do not have ze resources to destroy ze mould." Gustav shakes his head, "Or at least, not zat I have yet found.  If only I could reach my analysis machines, I could study it in more detail, and determine ze weakness zat it must have.  But we cannot run ze scans with ze ship all covered in mould.  We cannot even reach ze instruments."

"Could we enclose it somehow?" Fury suggests, "If we could get into the ship, perhaps we could use the gravitic generators to enclose the mould in a force field, and contain it?"

"A temporary solution at best, Captain." Archie declares mournfully, "Maintaining the shield against the mould would exhaust our supply of Xenon after three point two weeks.  Less if the substance continues to … replicate itself."  The word 'replicate' has never sounded so dirty.

"So what do we do then?  It's not like we can just vacuum it all up and make it go away."

There's a moment of silence.  And then Gustav and Archie begin to talk simultaneously,

"But if we could find ze way to collect it –"

"- the sample arm on the _Pathfinder_ may still be accessible.  It has an exterior hatch –"

"- zen we could store it all in a huge container.  Maybe we could teach ze Venusians how to weave a giant basket –"

"- based on their clothing, they appear to have already grasped the science of sewing, Doctor.  Perhaps a gigantic fur bag? –"

"- _zen_ we could blast off with ze mould, and dump it back on ze Earth –"

"- but that would be littering! –"

"- vich is already covered with ze substance, and will zerefore not be harmed." Gustav finishes, with a proud and happy smile.

"Let me get this straight." Fury holds up a hand, then begins to tick the plan off of his fingers,  "Your solution to this situation is to turn the sampler arm into some kind of giant vacuum cleaner."

"_Ja_."

"Which we will then use to suck up all the space mould and store it in a huge fur bag, the construction of which we will entrust to a bunch of illiterate savages."

"_Ja_."

"And then you expect me to somehow fly this contraption out of the atmosphere, into deep space, without spilling a single spore."

"_Ja_."

"You realise that this will be a huge, completely un-aerodynamic, fur bag.  I don't want to think how big it would have to be –"

"Approximately two hundred thousand cubic feet." Archie supplies, helpfully, "Assuming we can have it completed with forty-eight hours.  After that, the rate of the mould's reproduction will reach a critical mass, that we cannot overcome."

"_Ja_."

"Okay, just wanted to make sure I had all the details correct." Fury claps his hands together, "Sounds like we have a plan, people – let's get working!"


----------



## Plane Sailing

So, Venus is doomed then?


----------



## KidCthulhu

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> So, Venus is doomed then?




Yep.  Pretty thoroughly fudged.


----------



## arwink

Everyone's a critic 

We can't even pilot a ship back to the right dimension, what hope do we have of saving a planet?

Besides, Archies sole method of dealing with problems is to burn them.  Once you eliminate that, I start grasping at straws


----------



## MavrickWeirdo

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> So, Venus is doomed then?




Well that would be true except that Venucian Coonra's (like earth racoons, but different) are able eat the space spores, thus preventing it from over-running the planet. Unfortunately the Coonras who eat the spores start to develop Psionic Powers and become quite a nusince.

Oh wait, they never filmed that episode because the animal rights people wouldn't let them spray paint racoons. 

Never mind


----------



## robberbaron

Piratecat said:
			
		

> ... and here's my character building sheet to make character generation MUCH faster. I put in some formulas to do most of the work for you. There's a sample character in there, too, to demonstrate how it works.
> 
> EDIT - attachments are sluggish right now. I'll add the character sheet later.




Yo PC, game purchased and rated B for Bloody Marvellous!
Any chance of the character building sheet?

Looking forward to running it for Plane Sailing, Shockwave, Guido and anyone else who turns up.


----------



## Piratecat

Right! Make Plane Sailing play a Slave Girl.  

Here's the sheet. There are four pages in the Excel document:

*- Do a new character here!* This is important bit. See below.
*- Sample PC - intelligent monkey:* Showing how it works when filled in.
*- blank sheet with formulas:* When you accidentally overwrite the "do a new character here!" sheet because you forgot to copy it first, this is your backup.  
*- blank sheet no formulas:* for when you just want to print a sheet out.

When you look at the "new character" sheet in Excel, you'll see that there are three sections. Sort of. If you squint.

On the left is the part of the sheet that prints out; most of this you don't touch, because it is filled in from the bit on the right.

In the middle is summarized step-by-step directions.

On the right is the area where you actually fill most things in. 

0. Ctrl-click-drag the "do a new character here" tab to make a copy of this worksheet page. Rename it to the character name by double-clicking on the tab.

1. Divide up your attributes and fill them in on the *left*. Marvel at how many other things are calculated and filled in as a result. Oooh, aaah.

2. Figure out your fixed Zero Skill. Mark it on the left (or on both the right and left, if you prefer) by making it bold and italic.

3. On the right, distribute your skill points into the yellow boxes. Follow normal rules for this. You'll notice that the skills get reflected over on the left as well, and that you have to do a minimum of math. A little counter adds up your total points spent for you.

4. Spend your brains points the same way.

5. Assign zero skills; on the left, make these skill names bold and italic.

6. Type perks & quirks, name etc. into the left hand sheet.

7. Print it!


----------



## robberbaron

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Make Plane Sailing play a Slave Girl.




Perhaps later.   
I think he would suit a Super-Intelligent Pet, but that wouldn't really be Role-Playing, would it?  

Excel sheet looks brilliant, a thousand thanks.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Right! Make Plane Sailing play a Slave Girl.




Hey, that sounds like it might be some role-playing fun.

(Did I say that out loud?)


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 22*

It doesn't take long for the plan to hit a snag.

"I can't believe they don't have enough furs for the bag!" Fury stands with legs astride, hands on hips, "They make their clothes from furs, for heaven's sake!"

"You may not have noticed, but their clothes are rather small."

"Oh, I've noticed."

S'Ondra scowls,

"In any case –" she continues, "- the chief says they have only enough for half of the bag.  We will have to find the rest of the furs some other way."

"Did you make sure he's telling the truth?"

S'Ondra greets the question with a withering stare.  Fury shrugs,

"Just asking.  So, did he say where we could find more furs?"

"Oh, he had lots of ideas." S'Ondra rolls her eyes, "Mostly, they involved charging off to the nearest tribe, using our 'mighty sky god powers' to enslave them, and then stealing all they had."

"Good man -" Fury catches a glimpse of S'Ondra's expression and smothers his words in a cough, "That is, I mean, Good Lord, what kind of savage would suggest that?" he ponders for a moment, "Maybe I could head out with my pistol and shoot a few of the local animals.  How many would I need to kill to get enough furs?"

"More than 'a few'." Is S'Ondra's estimation, "Listen, I've been talking to my duplicate."

"Really?  Did she say anything about me?"

"_No_.  Now, try to be quiet and listen.  She said that there is another tribe, only a few hours away from here –"

"I thought you didn't want to attack another tribe?"

"I don't want to attack them.  I wand to _trade_ with them."

"Oh." Fury considers this for a moment, then nods, "Sounds reasonable.  I'll get the others."

The Captain finds Gustav standing at the edge of the mould, watching as Archie slowly scrapes away the brown covering over the ship of the _Pathfinder_.  Every now and then, a small shudder of distaste runs through the robot's body.

"I have found the hatch, Doctor."

"Well done, Archie." Gustav nods in pleasure, "Now, open ze hatch –"

_Reeeeaaaaark._  There is a screech of tortured metal as the servomotors in the robot's arms go into action, the hatch peeling back and buckling as it is forced open.  Fury goes pale.

"Could you ask him not to do that?"

"Zere is no alternative." Gustav shrugs apologetically, "Ze controls for ze hatch are within the ship, and we cannot reach zem."

Archie wrenches again, tearing the hatch free.  Crumpling the metal into a rough ball, he opens a panel in his chest and deposits the remains of the hatch inside.  Then, he reaches into the gloomy opening in the side of the ship, pulling forth the silvery sampler arm.

"You must bring it to full extension, Archie." Gustav calls, "Only zen should you detach it." He turns his attention to Fury again, "What is it you wished to discuss with me, Captain?"

"We're going to need more furs." Fury winces as Archie begins to drag the sampler arm free from its housing, "S'Ondra and I are going to head over to the next tribe and try to purchase some.  I was going to ask if you wanted to come, but you look very busy here.  Very important work you're doing, too – no time for interruptions, I'm sure." He turns to leave, as if all is settled.

"Not at all." Gustav waves his hand expansively, interrupting Fury's attempt to leave. "Reconfiguring ze sampler arm is a matter of child's play, but it will be for nought if we do not have ze furs.  Archie and I will accompany you on zis important mission."

"Oh." Fury manages a rather forced-looking grin, "Great."

So it is that the four space adventurers – and S'Ondra's duplicate – make ready to set out for the neighbouring tribe.

"Know way good." Their guide informs them, from her position on Fury's arm (the real S'Ondra scowls, but says nothing). "This old tribe."

"Old tribe?" Gustav is curious, "Why leave old tribe?  Why join new one?" his machine burbles the translation as he speaks. 

"Captured in fighting." Is the cheerful reply, "Made warrior's bride." The girl waves her hand at a nearby Venusian male, whose scowl at Fury is eerily reminiscent of S'Ondra's.

"Barbaric." Gustav shakes his head, "I am sure my wife would never stand for zis,"

"Oh, I doubt they stand, old man.  Probably drag them by the hair."

The journey the old tribe of S'Ondra's savage counterpart takes about an hour, as the group picks their way through the dense Venusian underbrush, steering a wide birth around the enormous spines that project from most of the cactus-like plants.

Eventually, they emerge into a rough clearing, which is dotted with several rudimentary huts, collected in a rather bedraggled-looking circle.  The sudden appearance of these intruders sends the villagers into a spasm of activity: men rush for their spears, women fall wailing to the ground, and children dance excitedly from foot to foot.

From all of the chaos emerges the village chief: an older man, his gaunt height exaggerated even further by the huge headdress he wears.  Catching sight of S'Ondra, his eyes widen, just as the Princess herself recognises his face:

"Father!"


----------



## Piratecat

_Dun-dun DUN!_

Yay!


----------



## ledded

Wow.  This story just makes me want to go home and drink 127 glasses of Ovaltine so I can get the secret agent decoder ring...

Good stuff, man, good stuff.  Havent read a story like this in quite some time, and I'm thorouoghly enjoying this one.  Keep up the good work.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Piratecat said:
			
		

> _Dun-dun DUN!_
> 
> Yay!




[Reaches out, cranks volume knob on vaccuum-tube-powered radio, passes box of Animal Crackers to Pirate Cat, resumes laying on floor with chin propped up in hands, wide-eyed, anxiously awaiting next spine-tingling episode.]

-z, who actually did inherit and listen to a vaccuum-tube-powered radio when he was a kid. Though, alas, nothing like Spaceship Zero was heard from its dusty speakers.


----------



## Tellerve

Capellan said:
			
		

> "And mops." Archie adds, "We also bring them mops."
> 
> 
> 
> "- zen we could store it all in a huge container.  Maybe we could teach ze Venusians how to weave a giant basket –"
> 
> "- based on their clothing, they appear to have already grasped the science of sewing, Doctor.  Perhaps a gigantic fur bag? –"
> 
> "- _zen_ we could blast off with ze mould, and dump it back on ze Earth –"
> 
> "- but that would be littering! –"





Those were just some of the most hilarious things I've read on these boards in awhile.  Well, ok at least since the brain rodeo in Piratecat's storyhour.  But, still just dang hilarious!

Great stuff, very happy there is much more to come!

Tellerve


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 23*

The old man staggers slightly as S'Ondra races forward, throwing herself into his arms.  A look of confusion crosses his face, growing to absolute bewilderment when he sees S'Ondra's savage counterpart, clinging timidly to Fury's arm.

"Really." Archie complains primly, "All this touching is _quite_ unhygienic."

"Who you?" the elder Venusian manages at last, having succeeded in prying himself out of S'Ondra's gasp.

"I'm your daughter!" she wails in response, "But you're dead and I'd lost you but now you're not dead but not you!"

The old man takes a half step backwards,

"You not daughter.  Her daughter –" he points at the savage S'Ondra, "- but her taken Cliff tribe.  She belong them now."

S'Ondra, her eyes still brimming with tears, begins to recover herself a little,

"We bring her back." She says at last, "Belong you again."

"But how?  She war-prize them, belong them.  If you take, belong you.  Not belong us."

"I don't think they understand that we want to return her," Fury says, then glances sharply at S'Ondra, "Not that I remember us actually _discussing_ that –"

"She's his daughter!"

"- but I'm willing to accept it." The Captain ignores S'Ondra's interjection, "Regardless, I don't think he understands the idea of us giving her away.  Let me try something."

Stepping forward, Fury points at the reality's S'Ondra,

"She ours, but we want trade.  We give girl, you give furs.  All happy."

"She not please you?" the elder Venusian asks in puzzlement.  Fury struggles to reply, as he finds himself being pummelled by the small fists of the savage S'Ondra.

"It not that –" he manages through gasps of pain as he tries to protect himself.

"Straighten your arm more!" S'Ondra calls to her counterpart.

"- it just need many fur.  All you own.  Very important."

"You need to follow through with your left!"

"Stop giving her hints!"

The old chief, watching his daughter flail away at Fury, gets a crafty expression in his eyes.  He knows desperation when he sees it,

"Girl not enough." He says at last, then ducks as she turns and throws a clod of earth at him, "Need more if want all furs."

"We give you fire." Archie promises smoothly.

"What fire?"

"It good stuff." Fury takes advantage of savage S'Ondra's distraction with her father to grab her wrists, "It keep you warm."

"What 'warm'?"

"Venus has a proper temperature, Captain." S'Ondra rolls her eyes, "It doesn't get cold.  We'll need a better reason than that."

"Blast it!" Fury shakes his head, "We could tell them about cooking, perhaps?"

"Not really." Archie shakes his head, "I don't think they'd really understand the value of properly cooked food.  All the microbes it kills -"

"It make food keep longer!" Fury bursts out, looking pleased with himself, "Not go bad and make dying!"

The Chief considers this,

"Fire is good." He decides at last, "We make trade.  But first you tell who she?" he points at S'Ondra, whose bottom lip wobbles.

"Is it right to trade a person?" Gustav interrupts, "Zis is not something zat we should do lightly.  Selling a person is like slavery, _ja_?  We should be asking her vot _she_ wants."

"To be fair, Doctor, we _are_ doing it to save their planet." Fury sighs, then turns his attention to savage S'Ondra, "Do you want to go back to your old tribe?"  His only answer is a look of confusion, as the girl seems perplexed at the mere prospect of being asked her opinion.

"You have to go back to him!" the real S'Ondra bursts out, rushing over to her twin and grabbing her by the shoulders, "He's your father and you have a chance to be with him and love him and spend time with him and not have him dead but alive and know that he's proud of you!"

"We gods." Archie calmly tells the Chief, having realised that the man still needs an answer and that using the same lie as before is better than any of the alternatives, "We take people form.  She choose your daughter." He points at the two S'Ondras, "But her mind go bad." He twirls his finger beside the glass dome that passes for his head, in the universal symbol for 'mad as a hatter'.

The chief shrugs, his curiosity apparently sated, and the trade is concluded.  The four adventurers are seen off on their return journey by the chief and his daughter, who nestles in the crook of his arm as he waves them goodbye.  Archie, laden with so many furs that his faceplate is concealed, is one of two crew members who does not wave back.

"Are you okay to see, old boy?" Fury asks him, watching the robot trundle around the various obstructions.

"Naturally." Archie sounds mildly offended, "I have simply recalibrated my vision wavelength to allow me to see through the fur material.  I shall, however, need a thorough decontamination after this disgusting experience."

The other crew member that does not wave is S'Ondra, who stalks on ahead of the others, never once looking back.  This way, no-one will see her tears.


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 24*

Back at the _Pathfinder_, the Venusians sit in a huge circle, diligently sewing the massive bag, while Doctor Gustav stands watching, and taking notes on their technique.

"My wife was an expert with ze needle." He confides to Archie.

"Indeed, Doctor." The robot answers by rote, while fastidiously picks through their rapidly dwindling pile of furs, "Did she perhaps tech you a stitch that would allow us to save four point eight square feet of material?"

"_Nein._, I was never very good at it, myself.  I could never get ze thread into ze little hole."

"Oh dear." The robot sighs, then calls to Fury, "Captain, we have a problem!"

"So you've noticed as well?" Fury asks in a low voice, as he draws near, "She's been depressed ever since we got back.  I made her a cup of tea - nothing cheers up a rainy day like a good cup - but it didn't seem to do any good -" he trails off as he realises that the robot's blank expression is somehow more blank than usual.  "Ah, that is, what's the problem, old boy?"

"We do not have enough material for the bag."

"What?" Fury presses the heel of his hand to his forehead, "Damnation."  Taking a deep sigh, he straightens up and prepares to take the bad news,  "How much more do we need?

"Four point eight square feet."

"Excuse me?"

"Four point eight square feet."

"Four point eight."

"Yes."

"Square feet."

"Yes."

"I think I can solve your dilemma, old boy." Fury deftly unbuttons his shirt - something at which he seems to have had a great deal of practice - and proffers it to the robot, "Latest Space Force issue.  Polyfibre weave that's guaranteed tear resistant." He grins, "Much to the ladies' distress."

"... thank you, Captain ..." Archie holds the garment at arm's length, then gingerly deposits it atop the furs, "That should suffice."

"Ah, leibchen!" Doctor Gustav calls to his foster-daughter, as she walks listlessly nearby, "Good news!  We have enough of ze material to finish ze bag!"

"That's great, Doctor -" S'Ondra replies, eyes downcast, with a sigh, she looks up to say something more, but the words are forgotten as her gaze falls on the shirtless Fury.

"Isn't that wonderful news, Princess?" Fury flashes a smile and flexes his muscles, "And a wonderful sight, as well.  The bag I mean.  It's nearly done." He gestures at the huge mat of black furs, somehow contriving to flex again as he does so.

"It's, uh, great news." S'Ondra suddenly seems to find her own feet extremely interesting, though her gaze keeps making unconscious darts in Fury's direction. "So when are we leaving?"

"The bag will be complete in approximately one hour and fifteen minutes." Archie responds, "At that time, based on the projected suction of the Doctor's device -"

"It vill suck a lot!"

"- we will be able to gather all of the mould within two hours.  Based on current growth rates, the bag will at that stage be filled to ninety-seven percent capacity, and we will need to be ready for immediate departure.  Under the expected conditions it will only take ten minutes for the mould to multiply in sufficient quantities to burst the bag."

"Is that enough time?"

"I'm a fast worker, Princess." Fury promises.

"No doubt."

"It will be sufficient." Archie continues his analysis, "On an optimum course, clearing the atmosphere will require slightly less than eight minutes.  In the frigid temperatures of space, the mould should not continue to multiply, and we will be able to safely make it to Earth."

"Provided zat ze bag does not burst from ze turbulence of ze ascent, of course."

"Yes, Doctor."

"But perhaps I can recalibrate ze gravitic shields to help protect ze bag." Gustav muses.  He picks up a long stick and begins writing complex formulae in the dirt, "Of course, zat would vastly reduce ze protection to ze crew -"

"Doc, if the bag bursts, then it's all over for the home side." Fury pats the older man on the shoulder, "Make the changes as soon as the _Pathfinder_ is free of the mould.  We'll take our chances without the shields."


----------



## Piratecat

I can't believe I missed last week's update. Yay! I wish I had been there.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Capellan said:
			
		

> "At that time, based on the projected suction of the Doctor's device -"
> 
> "It vill suck a lot!"




Great.  Now I have tea on my keyboard.  Stop being so funny, or the Help Desk at work is going to get suspicious.


----------



## arwink

Sadly, the five minutes of innuendo about Fury's joystick control appears to have dissappeared from public record.  It kept the doctor and I in hysterics while the others were playing out some other scene.

Then again, perhaps that's not something to be sad about...


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 25*

As Gustav recalibrates the shield generators to focus behind the ship, protecting the huge bag of mould, the others make final systems checks before launch,

"Everything checks out, here, Captain." Archie reports.  The robot is attached to the console via two thick silver wires, using direct system access to speed the analysis of data.

"Good to hear, old boy." Fury toggles the internal communications switch, "We're set, Doc.  How are the shields?

"I have completed ze changes required." Gustav responds, "And ze diagnostics appear in order.  However, I recommend we all put on ze space suits, as zere will be no protection from space radiation without ze shields."

"Are we going to lose gravity, too, Doc?" Fury asks.

"_Nein_, I do not zink so.  Ze gravity well from ze shields is large enough zat we should feel ze effects, still." Gustav's voice is muffled - it seems he is already following his own advice to don a suit, "Ze gravity might be little less than it is normally, but it will not be significantly different."

"Glad to hear it, Doc.  We'll don suits now and get out of here in the next two minutes." Fury breathes a sigh of relief.  Whatever their other talents, most of the rest of the crew have had no zero-gravity training.

Donning their silver space suits with a minimum of banter, the crew quickly takes their positions in the cabin.  Only S'Ondra lacks a vital role in the upcoming flight: Fury is naturally at the controls of the ship, but Archie will be monitoring the cabin conditions while Gustav keeps his eyes on the shield diagnostics and ensures that everything is functioning as it should.

"Here we go, folks." Fury powers up the engines exactly one minute and fifty nine seconds after giving the order to don suits.  The _Pathfinder_ lifts slowly but gracefully into the air, the powerful down-draught of the engines flattening the thick layer of purple-and-red undergrowth.  S'Ondra, staring silently out of the window, places her open palm against the glass.  Wordlessly, she makes her farewells to her home-world, her thoughts turning inevitably to this reality's version of herself and her father."

The Princess' reverie is rudely interrupted.

"Damnation!" Fury swears, as a sudden wind shear drives the _Pathfinder_ sideways.  The Captain's response is immediate, wrenching the ship sideways to avoid colliding with the many thorny plants that surround the clearing.  His move lacks finesse, but the tight confines and the danger to the bag of mould leave no time for subtlety.  With a scream of power from the tortured engines, the ship lifts safely clear of the trees.

The sudden lurch sideways, however, is not without its repercussions.

The first is that the Princess, standing beside the window, is thrown off her feet, landing with a squawk of outrage in the Captain's lap.  Fury makes no effort to conceal his smile of amusement, and slips an arm around S'Ondra to hold her in place,

"Careful there, Princess." He cautions, "I won't always be around to catch you."

S'Ondra snorts and pulls herself free, scarlet with embarrassment.  Ducking her head, she shoots a glance at her foster father, to see if he noticed what happened -

and immediately, all thoughts of her own situation vanish from her mind.

The Doctor was as unprepared for the abrupt change of course as S'Ondra had been.  Unlike her, however, he did not fall safely - if embarrassingly - into someone else's lap.  Instead, the sudden lurch snapped his head forward, striking hard against the screen before him.

Now, the old man is slumped unconscious across the shield diagnostics console, blood seeping from a deep cut on his forehead ...


----------



## ledded

Ok, I gotta beat pkitty to this one...


_Dun-dun DUN!_


----------



## Emperor Valerian

Congratulations.  I'm addicted to this thread, and I'm looking forward to my next "fix."


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 26*

With a cry of alarm, S'Ondra rushes to her foster-father's side.  Crouching beside him, she quickly inspects the wound,

"Archie!  First aid kit!"

A panel in the robot's side drops open, and a small white box tumbles into the Princess' outstretched hand.  Working quickly, she flicks open the latch on the box and begins to pull out bandages, painkillers and antiseptic.

"Is the Doc okay?" Fury twists in his seat to look back at the others, and instantly his eyebrows shoot up, as he finds himself effectively speaking to S'Ondra's shapely derriere.

Leaning over Gustav, S'Ondra answers distractedly, without looking over her shoulder - which is probably just as well for Fury.

"He's unconscious, but it doesn't feel like there is any fracturing - he should come around again soon."

"I would recommend more antiseptic, Princess." Archie watches S'Ondra's progress, "This environment is replete with germs."

"I've used quite enough -" S'Ondra breaks off to curse as sweat drips from her forehead onto the Doctor's face, "Is it getting hotter in here?"

"Archie, leave the Princess to look after the Doc, and get over to the shields console." Fury snaps his attention back to the job of piloting the vessel, "S'Ondra's right - the temperature gauge is going berserk, and I need to know what's going on."

"All shield displays are in the red, Captain." Archie reports in an efficient monotone, "Protecting the bag is requiring more power than we can safely generate.  It appears that the Doctor programmed the system to reduce protection for us, if this became necessary - that's why it is getting hotter - but they are very close to complete shut-down."

"Keep a stiff upper lip, old boy!" Fury encourages the robot, completely oblivious to the fact that Archie has no lips, and even if he did, they would be made of metal, "We're very close to being out of the atmosphere."

"Nonetheless, I would suggest haste, Captain."

"Thanks for the tip."

The _Pathfinder_ screams into the upper atmosphere, as Fury pushes the Xenon drive well beyond safe limits.  The entire ship shakes from the strain, and S'Ondra has to tend to Gustav with only one hand, using the other to brace herself.

*   Boom! *

The ship bucks suddenly, nearly throwing S'Ondra across the room once more.  Even Fury, strapped into his pilot's seat, is thrown back and forth.  Dozens of red lights come up on the ship's console as computer panels burst into flame, showering white-hot sparks across the cabin.  S'Ondra throws herself across her foster-father, flinching as some of the sparks land near her face.  Despite this, she makes no move to find protection for herself.

"Shield generators one, two and four are offline!" Archie reports, amplifying his voice so that it can rise above the chaos in the cabin, "Q-Drive is offline -"

"Damn thing didn't work anyway!" is Fury's rejoinder, "We're out of the atmosphere, but at these velocities even space dust could tear that bag open.  Can you get any extra power from generator three?"

The robot's metal fingers fly over the keyboard as he runs rapid-fire diagnostics,

"Not without diverting power from another system, Captain." Is his evaluation, "Running analysis.  Engine couplings to the shields are burned out, and engines themselves are at only seventy percent capacity.  Waste reclamation is offline - I expect the multiplying germs will kill you all, shortly - and all power to the laboratory is offline."

"We've still got life support, right?"

"You would be suffocating to death without it, Captain."

"Right.  Everyone: get your helmets on!" Fury fights to keep the _Pathfinder_ stable as he talks, "The internal tanks on our suits will give us air long enough to reach Earth and dump this stuff.  Archie, will that be enough power?"

"Disabling life support will be sufficient to maintain the shield on the bag." The robot responds, calmly, "But shields on the cabin will be reduced to less than two percent of optimal strength."

"Which means?"

"Don't let anything larger than space dust hit us, or we'll crack open like an egg."

 "Thanks.  That was refreshingly clear." Fury manages a weak smile as he snaps his helmet into place. "You all suited up, Princess?"

"I am."

"And the Doc's helmet is on, too?"

"I did his _first_."

Fury pauses in his course adjustments, then nods.

"Good work, Princess.  Space Force could do with more like you."

"No doubt it could." Despite the indifference of her response, S'Ondra blushes slightly at the Captain's praise.

"Archie?"

"Ready, Captain."

Fury nods again.

"Do it, Archie.  Disable life support."


----------



## Piratecat

Yay! Moments like this are why I go to the theater.


----------



## Look_a_Unicorn

This story hour rocks!


----------



## Plane Sailing

Look_a_Unicorn said:
			
		

> This story hour rocks!



 OT: With a handle like that, why haven't you got an avatar of a Narwhale? I thought that dugongs/manatees were the ones normally mistaken for mermaids (by sailors with appalling eyesight problems, obviously :


----------



## Plane Sailing

S'Ondra, Fury.... Fury, S'Ondra.

The chemistry is electric! It reminds me a little of Maggie and Joel in "Northern Exposure"


----------



## ledded

Oh man, every time you update this thread, it makes my morning.

This is very, very good stuff. I am on the edge of my seat, watching the Ovaltine commercial play until the next update.

As far as this Story Hour is concerned, I love it like a fat kid love cake.


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 27*

"Life support disabled, Captain." Archie punches in the necessary commands.

"Zat sounds bad." Gustav stirs, slowly opening his eyes. "What happened, leibchen?"

"We've turned off the life support to divert more power to the shields." S'Ondra waves vaguely in the direction of the shields' diagnostic display. "Something went wrong."

"Ah, zat would be why it is so hot in here." Gustav goes to wipe his face, and his hand collides with the visor of his helmet. "Captain, what are ze radiation readings for ze cabin?"

"They're -" Fury breaks off and gives a low whistle, "- over three hundred percent of normal and still climbing."

"_Ja_," the Doctor nods, "If ze shields and ze life support have both been disabled around ze cabin, zere is no limit to how high ze radiation could climb.  How long will it take us to reach ze Earth?"

"Too long, the way that counter's going up." Fury taps some buttons, surrounding worried. "Even if I run the engines way into the red the whole way, we're looking at two and a half hours." He gives Archie an aggrieved look, "You didn't mention this when you suggested turning off the life support."

The robot shrugs as a light blinks slowly on the side of his head,

"Would it have changed the decision?"

"Well ... no.  But it would have been nice to know." Fury sighs and leans back in his chair, "Any ideas, Doc?"

"Vell, if ze barrier of ze shield is gone, we must replace it." Gustav glances around the cabin, his eye alighting on a fire extinguisher, "Ah!  Ze very thing!"

"Hot as it is, we're not actually on fire, Doc."

"_Ja_, I know zis, but without ze shield our only way to reduce ze radiation is with a physical barrier." The Doctor gestures at the clear canopy at the front of the cabin, "More zan ninety-nine percent of ze radiation will be entering through ze viewscreen.  Ze extinguisher foam is designed to retard ze spread of heat radiation, and will assist to protect us from ze ozzer forms, as well."

Gustav pulls the extinguisher from its socket in the wall, and nearly falls as the heavy metal cylinder bangs into the floor.

"My.  Zis is heavier zan it looks."

"I've got it, Doctor." S'Ondra scoops up the extinguisher with one hand and unsnaps the nozzle with the other. "Just tell me where I need to spray."

Fury's eyebrow quirks.

Following the Doctor's instructions, the Princess quickly coats the inside of the canopy with a layer of purple foam, which rapidly congeals into a substance that looks somewhat like half-melted polystyrene.  Fury, with his view completely obscured, falls back to flying entirely via the navigation systems.

"Another hour and a half." He reports, "How does the radiation level look, Archie?"

"Holding steady at four hundred and seventeen percent of normal, Captain." The robot reports, "Prolonged exposure to levels such as this may cause sterility and impotence."

"Like hell it well." Fury mutters, somehow eking a little more power out of the engines. "One hour nineteen -"

His console explodes.

Fury is thrown back, out of the pilot's chair, to land on the cabin floor.  He groans, and stirs for a moment, then slumps back with a second moan.

"Captain!" S'Ondra tries to go to Fury's aid, but clouds of acrid black smoke are pouring out of the console, and showers of sparks keep spraying across the cabin.

"Wait here Princess." Archie blocks the Princess' path with his arm, then strides into the billowing clouds.  A moment later he emerges once more, with a limping and smoke-blackened Fury leaning against him.

"Is he alright?" S'Ondra winds one of her feather-like locks around her fingers.

"I'm fine." Fury coughs, and wipes some of the soot from his faceplate, "But the console just got fried.  We lost most of our atmospheric control, and the navigation relays are shot." He sighs, "While we're in space, we can fly okay, but we've got no way of knowing where we're going."

"Shut off ze engines, Archie."

"Won't stop us, Doc.  We'll keep on drifting."

"I know, Captain.  I _am_ a physicist, after all.  But it will give us more time to plan our next move."

Fury nods his agreement, and the constant _thrum_ of the engines cuts out, leaving an almost eerie silence in its wake.


----------



## Piratecat

My furnace is broken, and my house is freezing. My clothes drier belt just broke. And yet, somehow the morning is rosier.  

Man, these guys never get a break, do they? I'm surprised that they didn't launch the mold into space on a trajectory that would take it someplace innocuous.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Piratecat said:
			
		

> I'm surprised that they didn't launch the mold into space on a trajectory that would take it someplace innocuous.




That would be littering. Against Space Force regs.


----------



## Len

Piratecat said:
			
		

> My furnace is broken, and my house is freezing. My clothes drier belt just broke.



Let me guess - you were trying to heat the house with the clothes drier. Sounds like something you'd see on Q-Ship.   


> Man, these guys never get a break, do they? I'm surprised that they didn't launch the mold into space on a trajectory that would take it someplace innocuous.



The way this story is going, no matter where they launched it, it would _not_ end up someplace innocuous.


----------



## Capellan

Len said:
			
		

> The way this story is going, no matter where they launched it, it would _not_ end up someplace innocuous.




Geez, the ZM would have to be a real rat to do that to them, wouldn't he?

Why, yes.  Yes he would.

I guess that's why they didn't risk it


----------



## arwink

Len said:
			
		

> Let me guess - you were trying to heat the house with the clothes drier. Sounds like something you'd see on Q-Ship.




Except on the Q-ship, it would have egg-beaters attached.  The Doc is nuts for them.



> The way this story is going, no matter where they launched it, it would _not_ end up someplace innocuous.




From memory, the flaw with firing it towards the sun was that the bag would burst the moment it came out of shield range, and fungi that grows when exposed to heat isn't something you want raining down on your planet.

Besides, it'd be no fun and make sense, and neither of those tends to work in our favor.  From my perspective, Q-ship planning sessions tend to look a lot like this:

_Someone: We should do something.
Everyone Else: Yep.
Someone Else: Insert Seemingly-Logical Plan A.
Capellan: But you need to consider this and this and this.  It could easily lead to the destruction of you and/or the galaxy.
Someone Else: Insert Seemingly-logical Plan B.
Capellan: But you need to consider this and this and this.  Total annihilation, remember?

Long Pause punctuated by everyone pointing out how screwed we are.

Someone Else: Lets just do Inane Plan Alpha._

Which, if we're lucky, is inane enough that Capellan can't figure out a reason it shouldn't work 

Edit and Disclaimer: My grasp of what actually constitutes a logical plan is tentative at the best of times, and often has no real relation to science.  That's what we have Fury for


----------



## Look_a_Unicorn

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> OT: With a handle like that, why haven't you got an avatar of a Narwhale? I thought that dugongs/manatees were the ones normally mistaken for mermaids (by sailors with appalling eyesight problems, obviously :




Your right- but the dugong is just too damn cute to give up 
(a friend of mine had already taken a sloth icon so had to pick my 2nd favourite animal)


----------



## Richards

I'm home from work today with the flu, and decided to poke around the Story Hour boards to find something new to read, when I remembered Piratecat praising this particular Story Hour...

An hour or so later, all I can say is:  Bravo!

You sure weren't kidding, PC!

Johnathan


----------



## Capellan

*"Blast Off!" - Part 28*

Fury sighs and leans forward against a metal console.  Steepling his gloved hands, he leans his head forward until his helmet is resting against them.

"Let me get this straight." he says at last, "The foam which you sprayed on the canopy -"

"To keep out ze lethal radiation."

"Yes, to keep out the radiation." Fury waves off the Doctor's interjection, "_That_ foam managed to seep inside the main console and short out all the wiring?"

"Not all." Archie corrects fastidiously, "Only eleven percent of systems are inoperable."

"Perhaps, but they're eleven percent we _need_." Fury straightens, "We've lost the navigation relays, and most of our atmospheric manoeuvring systems.  The latter isn't a problem unless we blunder into atmosphere - though that's all too possible at the moment - but the navigation relays leave us blind.  Literally, in this case." He gestures at the hardened purple foam on the viewscreen.

"Can we risk removing some of the foam?" S'Ondra asks, "Just enough to see?"

Gustav shakes his head, then stops and nods, unhappily.

"_Ja_, we could.  But only Archie would reach ze Earth alive."

"Let's call that a choice of last resort." Fury quips, grimly. "What are our options for repairing the relays?"

"Not good." Archie proffers some perforated printer paper, but the Captain waves him off. "Repairs _can_ be made, but we're likely to run into something before then."

"And without shields, we'll be destroyed."

"That is correct."

"Can we hook you up to the console, Archie?" S'Ondra asks, "You've got a computer inside you.  Can you do the navigating for the ship?"

Archie shakes his head,

"The physical connections to the navigation systems are damaged.  I cannot interface."

"Ah!" Gustav suddenly exclaims, "Ze Q-Drive!"

"The what?" Fury frowns, "Doc, it doesn't work.  That's why we're in this mess in the first place."

Gustav dismisses the objection with a wave of his hand,

"Zat was before I realised about ze extra co-ordinates." He says, excitedly, "Now zat I have coded zem into ze drive, ve can jump from here to ze Earth, like zat!" he tries to snap his fingers, but the gloves of his suit stop them from making any noise.

Fury regards this as an ill omen,

"What if there is something else you haven't realised?" he points out, "I don't want to dump this stuff on a still-living planet, Doc.  There may be a time when we need to risk it, but I'd rather exhaust all other options, first."

"But I tell you, I have all ze coordinates, now."

"Still -" Fury stops n mid-objection.  Slowly, a smile begins to creep onto his lips, "Doc, tell me how the Q-Drive works, again."

"It is really very simple." Gustav, while evidently confused by the sudden interest, is not one to turn down an audience, "You simply enter ze co-ordinates where you wish to go, and ze Q-Drive exchanges ze matter zat is around it with ze matter zat is in ze destination."

"How does it know where to put everything?"

"You tell it where you vish to go -"

"No." Fury interrupts, "I'm not asking about how it moves _us_.  How does it know where to put the stuff that's already where we want to go?"

"Vell, it gives it the co-ordinates of ze ship, of course."

S'Ondra's eyes gleam as she realises the Captain's point.

"Doctor, you mean the Q-Drive has our current location stored in it?"

"Yes, of course, at all times -" Guatv breaks off, "_Dumkopf!_" he exclaims, "Captain, you are so brilliant I could kiss you!"

"Please don't."

"Quickly, Archie!" Gustav rushes over to the robot, "Ve must feed ze co-ordinates from ze Q-Drive to the main console, so zat ze Captain can pilot us once again."

Fury, after watching the Doctor and robot working for a few moments, turns his attention to S'Ondra,

"So, while the two boffins are busy, I don't suppose there's any chance you plan to congratulate me?"

"What for?" the Princess raises a regal eyebrow, "It's my father's invention that's going to save us."  The, taking her leave of the thwarted Captain, she goes to assist Gustav.

"Just put your finger _zere_, leibchen."

Fury, muttering under his breath, returns to the pilot sea.  After a few moments, the displays come to life, running through list of co-ordinates.  Immediately, the Captain brings the engines back online, swinging the nose of the craft around toward Earth.

An hour later, the tiny silver ship roars into orbit over the blue-and-brown ball that is their destination.  Fury, his touch on the controls as light as ever, sends the ship skimming just over the top of the atmosphere.

"Ready to release the bag." He reports, finger hovering over the release switch."

"Trajectory is good." The Doctor reports, "Release now."

Fury's finger descends, and the cables holding the bag in place immediately unravel.  As the _Pathfinder_'s nose lifts, the bag continues on its path, plunging into the atmosphere.  Almost instantly, the furs burn away into nothing, leaving the mould - spores bursting out in mid air - to drift down toward the surface.

Inside the ship, all is bedlam as the crew celebrate the end of their task.  Fury and Gustav embrace, thumping each other on the back, while Archie lights up every bulb on his body.  S'Ondra hugs her father and the robot, both.  For a moment it seems as if she and Fury will also embrace, but at the last moment she stiffens, and shakes his hand instead.

Crushing a look of disappointment, Fury turns to the console and re-engages both the shields and life support.

"We've done it, people." He reports, "We've saved Venus."

As the _Pathfinder_ settles into an orbit around Earth, the reality of their situation begins to come home to the crew.  They four of them - the only two humans alive, a princess without a people, and a robot - are lost in a parallel universe with no way to get home, in a ship that has been half destroyed by the events of the past few hours.  Soot blackens many of the consoles, purple foam covers the canopy, and systems all over the vessel have failed.

Elation fades, and as the crew share a silent moment of despair, the screen fades to black along with it.




_*Next Time, on Q-Ship*
"After days of arduous repairs, the _Pathfinder_ is fully operable once more.  But the ship's stocks of Xenon are almost exhausted, and the crew must travel to Jupiter to refuel.

Their route to the great gas giant takes them through the asteroid belt, where they discover a strange anomaly!  A pyramid, decorated with the symbols of ancient Egypt, stands alone on the rocky surface of a lifeless asteroid.

Who could have built this structure?

Why would they do so?

And does it offer salvation for the crew, or perils untold?"_

A montage of images flashes by: 

- a grey stone pyramid

- something spider-like scuttling out of shot

- a high-tech sarcophagus

- S'Ondra, in a black vinyl outfit that's even briefer than the usual attire

- Fury, at the controls of a ship, plunging toward the ground

_"Join us next time, on Q-ship, when the crew encounters the mysterious *Space Tomb*."_


----------



## Plane Sailing

Oh yeah!

Space mummies?


----------



## arwink

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> Space mummies?




Nah.  Who'd be silly enough to put mummies inside a space pyramid?


----------



## Capellan

arwink said:
			
		

> Nah.  Who'd be silly enough to put mummies inside a space pyramid?




Ruin the verisimilitude, wouldn't it?  I mean, it's hard enough to believe that there's a pyramid in the asteroid belt, to begin with.  If it had mummies in it _as well_?  No-one would believe that for a second.  Just too many coincidences, all at once.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Capellan said:
			
		

> _"Join us next time, on Q-ship, when the crew encounters the mysterious *Space Tomb*."_




Bravo! And boy of boy, I can't wait for *Space Tomb*!

-z

PS: The best part about this sort of game is you can open the dictionary to a random page, plunge yourfinger down on a random spot on that page, read the closest noun, stick it in front of a certain other word, and have your adventure seed. 

Like this (gets dictionary, flips and plunges):

*Space Joker*
*Space Gladiator*
*Space Party*
*Space Chrisom*

Okay, that last one is a little weird.

PSS: If you guys ever need a break you might consider placing the actors in commercials. A little one shot where, say, Fury comes home to his middle-America 50's home wearing a grass-stained uniform, S'Ondra scolds him, and they must seek out the Professor (with his new miracle cleaning agent "Fumigantastic" and his amazing hands-free electric uniform press Archie. Or something.


----------



## ledded

*_the sound of hands clapping fills the air, along with the bite of the occasional shrill whistle_*

Great work once again, man.

I am sooooo loving this SH, please keep up the good work.



> S'Ondra, in a black vinyl outfit that's even briefer than the usual attire



Oh yippee!  Black vinyl in a Space Tomb!  I can't wait!


----------



## Plane Sailing

I just saw the trailer for "Sky Captain and the world of tomorrow" http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/skycaptainandtheworldoftomorrow/skycaptain_large.html and immediatly thought of the q-ship crew...


----------



## the Jester

Wow!  I just read this SH and boy, is it a fun one!!

Good work!  I too want to check out Spaceship 0 now...


----------



## Emperor Valerian

I just finished reading the entirety of this thread today at work, and it has gone on my favorites section in IE.  Excellent work!


----------



## Eyas

Hey, back to the front with you!

Love the SH and can not wait for the next installment. Keep up the good work.


----------



## Capellan

*The Update You Get When Capellan's Been Too Slack to Write an Update*

*DVD Extras: "Blast Off!" Trivia*


Like most of the season 1 episodes, much of the script for "Blast Off!" came directly from one of the 1950s radio play scripts.  This practice gradually declined as the TV show found its own style.

The principal addition to the script (other than a significant increase in innuendo!) was the scene on Pluto, which did not occur in the original radio play.

Commander Dawson (of Pluto Base) was played by Edward Baxter-Smythe, the voice actor for Captain Fury in the radio series.

In the radio play, Fury says of the Grognor "Good Lord!  It must be fifty feet tall!".  Budgetary restraints on the television show meant that the creature could only be man-sized, so the line was removed.

In the year of _Q-Ship_'s debut, the Grognor was nominated the "Worst Sci Fi Monster" in the _Television and Radio Times_: "The costume was so cumbersome that the 'creature' moved in a kind of constipated waddle, and a fault in the editing makes it clear that at one point during filming it actually fell over."

Captain Fury losing or removing his shirt would become a regular feature of the show: the writers managed to include it at least once every second episode.

On the night the show first aired, the BBC received nearly one hundred calls, complaining about S'Ondra's 'indecent' attire.

S'Ondra dolls were the BBC's highest selling merchandise item for each of the next five months.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> In the radio play, Fury says of the Grognor "Good Lord!  It must be fifty feet tall!".  Budgetary restraints on the television show meant that the creature could only be man-sized, so the line was removed.




Always the penalty of moving from radio to TV... Radio pictures could always be so much more extravagant 



			
				Capellan said:
			
		

> Captain Fury losing or removing his shirt would become a regular feature of the show: the writers managed to include it at least once every second episode.




He wasn't Captain James T Fury by any chance


----------



## Capellan

Psst .... if you don't play in *Company of the Random Encounter*, head over here and give me your dastardly ideas


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 1*

The episode begins with a black screen, on which letters of white glow briefly:

*Special Guest Star*
Paul Darrow(1) as Xinthon

Then the black fades up to the interior of the _Pathfinder_, to reveal Doctor Gustav in the act of tossing a wrench back into a metal toolbox by his side.

"I think zat should do it, Captain."

"Roger, Doc.  Everyone take your seats and we'll give it a try." Fury is already belted into the pilot's chair.  Leaning forward, he flicks three switches in succession, then turns his head to glance at Archie.  "Your boards all green, old boy?"

"Diagnostics all nominal." Archie confirms from his place at the systems console. "However the fuel gauges are very low.  We consumed most of our reserves in dealing with the mould on Venus."

"Damnation, you're right." Fury punches up the fuel display. "Plenty to get us to Jupiter, though, where we can refuel."

"There are no refuelling stations there in this universe, Captain." Archie reminds him.

"That's true, but I'm sure you boffins can work out a way for us to get some Xenon once we get there, right?" Fury is a man of action, and he's itching to be on their way. "We've been stuck here for over a week while you make repairs."

"No-one could have done it faster." S'Ondra loyally defends her foster-father.

"Not without a ship yard." Fury agrees, with the look of a man who's suffered a lot from the Venusian's temper, of late.  S'Ondra subsides; at least a little.

"I am ready, Captain." Gustav buckles himself into his chair.

"Let's get this baby underway." Fury pushes the power levers forward and the _Pathfinder_'s engines slowly begin to hum, the noise rising steadily until it becomes a whine that would make conversation difficult.  Fury leans back and shouts over his shoulder, "Implementing inertial suppression _now_."

The whine is suddenly all but muted.

"All systems look good." Fury reports, "Engaging thrust."

Slowly at first, then with increasing speed, the ship peels out of its long orbit of the Earth.  A stream of flame jets out of the exhaust ports, and the silvery vessel plunges past the rocky face of the moon.

"Estimated time to Jupiter, eleven hours." Fury punches buttons and flicks switches as he speaks, "We could probably do it in less, but I'm going to ease her in for the first few hours, make sure all the kinks are worked out."

"You mean you're going to waste time playing dodgems in the asteroids again." S'Ondra sniffs.

"Now, now, Princess." Fury doesn't bother to deny the charge, "It's not a waste of time.  I need to know I can rely on the ship in a combat situation."

"Combat?  Who with?" S'Ondra gives an un-ladylike snort. "All the humans here are dead and I don't think my people will be discovering space flight any time soon."

"I zink ze Captain is suggesting zat we should leave zis reality, once we have refuelled." Gustav interjects.

"Leave?" S'Ondra looks upset at the idea, but before she can say any more, Fury explains.

"It seems the sensible course.  As you've noted, there's no intelli-" he coughs, "- no advanced life, in this reality.  I think we should try using the Q-Drive again.  There's a small possibility it will get us home, but even if it doesn't, there will hopefully be better access to technology there."

"And we will be away from that unhygienic mould." Archie shudders.

"But that's just it!" S'Ondra protests, "We can't just leave this reality like this!  We have to find a way to stop the mould, or my people could be wiped out just like yours."

"I can find ze chemical to stop ze mould, leibchen." Doctor Gustav tells her gently, "But even if I do, how do we make enough of ze fungicide?  We do not have ze facilities, and if zere is no advanced -"

"I am detecting an anomaly." Archie interrupts.

"What is it?" Fury scans his panel, "Everything's green here."

"It is not an anomaly with the vessel." The robot makes some adjustments to the display before him, "It is outside, in the asteroid belt."

"What kind of anomaly could there be out there?" Fury wants to know, "It's all just rocks and ore."

"I am detecting an energy signature." Archie transfers his display to all the other consoles, "Very weak, but regular and consistent.  It appears to be coming from this point here." He zooms the display in on the wire-frame graphic.

Fury squints,

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes, Captain.  There is a pyramid in the asteroid belt."

The credits roll.


(1) Darrow played Kerr Avon in the BBC series _Blake's 7_.


----------



## Eyas

Capellan said:
			
		

> Fury squints,
> 
> "Is that what I think it is?"
> 
> "Yes, Captain.  There is a pyramid in the asteroid belt."
> 
> The credits roll.




Nooooo.....not a cliffhanger! I am already hooked, give me more 

Thanks, Capellan. Keep up the good work.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Capellan said:
			
		

> Fury squints,
> 
> "Is that what I think it is?"
> 
> "Yes, Captain.  There is a pyramid in the asteroid belt."




 _Dun-dun  *DUN!!!*_


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 2*

Fury sets the _Pathfinder_ down about half a mile from the pyramid.

"Sorry I couldn't get us closer, folks." He apologises as he unstraps himself from the pilot's chair, "But there weren't any suitable places to set her down."

"Zat is quite alright, Captain." Gustav waves off the apology, "Ze walk will do us all good, after being so long cooped up in the ship togezzer."

"The scans of the pyramid are ready, Doctor." S'Ondra waves her foster-father over towards her.

"Excellent." Gustav peers around the Venusian woman's shoulder as she punches up a series of slightly grainy black and white images on the console. "Zere, you see - zere are hieroglyphics on ze pyramid, like ze ones of ancient Egpyt."

S'Ondra peers at the crude carvings of birds, ankhs and jackal-headed people.

"Venusian cave painting are much better drawn."

"Are they real Egyptian markings, Doc?  Or just copies?" Fury pauses in his double-check of the ship's systems.

"Zat I do not know." Gustav shrugs, "I am a physicist, not a historian, _ja_?"  He turns his attention to a more pressing matter, "Archie, what kind of conditions are zere outside?"

"There is no atmosphere, so suits will be required." The robot reports, "However, the gravity is unusually high for such a small planetoid.  It must be comprised largely of heavy minerals."

"Is zat so?" Gustav hurries over to one of the consoles and snatches up a small, silver scanner, "Zen zere may be materials zat will be of use to us, for ze ship.  I will take this analyser along, just in case."

"I doubt there'll be any Xenon here, old boy."

"Zat may be true, but ze analyser can be used to look for many ozzer things, as well."

"Will we still have enough Xenon to reach Jupiter?" S'Ondra asks, as she slides into her space suit.  It takes Fury a few moments to gather his wits and reply,

"No cause for concern there, Princess.  We've got plenty of juice to get off this rock, and point ourselves toward the big red ball." Fury picks up his own suit and shakes it out, "We'll need to conserve fuel for manoeuvring once we are there, of course, but between here and there we can mainly let our inertia carry us along.  There's nothing in space to slow us down, you see, so we actually need very little fuel -"

"I _do_ understand the concept of physics, Captain." S'Ondra's tone is flint-like.

"Uh, yes ... quite." Fury finds something to occupy himself, as far across the cabin as possible.

The crew don their suits in a tense silence, then make their way out of the airlock, and onto the airless surface of the asteroid.  Few words are exchanged: a frosty silence has settled between Fury and S'Ondra, while Archie's usual monologue on the evils of dirt and germs is temporarily suspended, the robot being quite taken with the lifeless, sterile rock on which they have landed.  Only Gustav speaks, exclaiming over this or that reading from the scanner in his hand.

As they slowly pick their way across the landscape, the four remain wrapped in their own thoughts, and none look back toward the silvery shape of the _Pathfinder_.

And thus none of them see, when _something_ stirs in the shadow beneath the vessel, and then goes scuttling across the surface of the planetoid, behind them.


----------



## KidCthulhu

And why do I think this is not a friendly welcome wagon and casserole type of something?


----------



## Piratecat

You never know. Maybe it's bringing them a muffin basket.


----------



## Victim

Dang.  There's an end.  Terrible.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Will we still have enough Xenon to reach Jupiter?" S'Ondra asks, as she slides into her space suit. It takes Fury a few moments to gather his wits and reply,




Capellan, I think you've got some masterly writing talent. These few words paint such startlingly vivid visuals!


----------



## dpdx

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> And why do I think this is not a friendly welcome wagon and casserole type of something?



It might have started out as a casserole; you never know. With Q-Ship's budget, I'm surprised Craft Services hasn't entirely merged with the Property Dept. already.


----------



## Capellan

In case anyone has not yet noticed, a compiled and nicely formatted version of "Blast Off!" is now available for download.

Enjoy!


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 3*

"Well, it's definitely a pyramid." Fury goes for the 'most redundant exposition' award. "Must be, what ... fifteen storeys high?"

"One hundred and forty eight feet, six inches." Archie provides, his gears whirring as he scans the area. "I approve of this planetoid.  It is very sterile."

"Zis is obviously not of ancient Egyptian manufacture." Gustav points at a short tunnel that leads into the side of the pyramid.  At the end of the tunnel is a steel door with an hermetic seal.  Beside the door is a panel of lights, though none are currently lit.

"What's that in the middle of it?" S'Ondra points.

'That' proves to be a box-like depression, roughly six inches deep, and twice that across.  The bottom of the depression has a basin-like curve to it, while the top has two steel clamps.

"Very odd." Fury opines, "There are some alcoves here, too.  Got some kind of metal rods in them."

"Zey are not all metal." Doctor Gustav examines the rods. "Zis one is ice, and zis is rubber."

"Rubber?  Ancient Egyptians?"

"I think we can assume this thing wasn't built by Earth primitives." S'Ondra sniffs.

"So how do we get in?  Any ideas, Doc?"

"Ve could knock?"

"I doubt that'll get a response." Fury considers the strange rods, then shrugs in dismissal. "Let's do this the old-fashioned way.  Everyone stand back."

The Captain draws his atomic pistol, aiming it at the door.  Archie and S'Ondra escort a grumbling Gustav ("Zis seems most impolite.") out of the tunnel, and Fury fires.

The blast of atomic energy rebounds from the silvery surface of the door without visible effect.  Fury just manages to throw himself aside in time, only narrowly avoiding a brief and unpleasant experience of the ultimate in 'friendly fire'.

"I told you we should knock."

"I don't think that'll help, Doc." Fury gets up and dusts himself off, then glowers at the door. "If the _Pathfinder_ was properly armed -"

"You could kill us all, instead of just yourself?" S'Ondra interrupts, sweetly.

"The rods will fit in these clamps." Archie puts an end to the incipient bickering. "The diameter of the two matches exactly."

"So, we have to put the rods in the clamps?" Fury frowns, "But which ones?  We've got, what, five or six of these rods?  There are only two clamps."

"Two clamps and ze basin." Gustav muses. "Zere must be some reason for ze basin to be zere."  He produces his chemical analyser and runs it over the rod of ice. "Ah ha!  Zis is _salt_ water."

Fury and S'Ondra look blank.  So does Archie, but that's kind of inevitable when your face is made of metal.

"Volta's battery." The robot's words make it clear that he understands the Doctor's excitement, even if his intonation doesn't suggest he shares it.

"I believe so, Archie." Gustav starts using the analyser on the rods, "_Ja!_  Here is ze zinc, and ze silver."

"That rod's made of silver?" Fury may have no idea what's going on, but the last word certainly got his attention.

"_Ja_," the Doctor is oblivious to the reason for Fury's interest. "Ze first battery was made of zinc, silver and salt water.  We must simply put zese two rods into ze clamps, and add ze water to ze basin, and we will have an electric current."

"Which will do what, exactly?"

"Open the door." S'Ondra rolls her eyes.

"Vell, I hope so, leibchen."

"Right." Fury nods, having reached the same page of the script as everyone else. "So, after it works, can we keep the silver rod?"

Gustav, busy inserting the rods into the clamps, ignores the Captain's question.  With the zinc and silver rods in place, he steps back and examines the rod of ice.

"Archie, could you please assist?  Zank you."

The robot takes the ice rod and snaps it in half, then places both in the basin.

"Please stand back." He warns, deploying plasma burners.  After Fury's experience, no-one needs to be told twice.

Narrowing the aperture of his weapons so that only a small tongue of flame licks out, the robot plays the burners over the door.  Soot begins to collect on the metal as the ice slowly bubbles and dissolves.

For a moment, nothing happens, and then the lights on the panel glow dimly for a moment, and the heavy steel door glides silently open ...


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> "I think we can assume this thing wasn't built by Earth primitives." S'Ondra sniffs.




Sounds like S'Ondra is still smarting from seeing the Venusian primitives. Was there a barely discernable stress on the word _Earth_? 




			
				Capellan said:
			
		

> "That rod's made of silver?" Fury may have no idea what's going on, but the last word certainly got his attention.
> <snip>
> "Right." Fury nods, having reached the same page of the script as everyone else. "So, after it works, can we keep the silver rod?"




See, that's what makes Fury such a great commander - he doesn't allow details to distract him from the important issues 

and since no-one else has said it yet

_Dun-dun  DUNNN!_


----------



## Zaruthustran

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> and since no-one else has said it yet
> 
> _Dun-dun  DUNNN!_




Hee hee! Though, in this case I think it'd be:

_Ewe-EEEEE-ewwwwwwwwwwe..._

What with the lack of shocking revelation, but presence of spooky unknown. 

-z


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 4*

The door opens into a plain steel room, large enough to old maybe eight or ten people.  Another, equally large steel door is set into the opposite wall, and is flanked by two globular protrusions in the wall, which are set at about head height.

"Those black globs could be weapons." S'Ondra eyes them suspiciously, brandishing her heat lance as she does so.

"I don't think they are.  This looks like an airlock -" Fury suggests, as he steps inside. "- and it would make a lot more sense to put the weapons outside, rather than in there."

S'Ondra grunts a reluctant acknowledgement of this logic, and the four space adventurers step into the steel room.  There is no reaction from either the globules or the door in front of them.

Gustav nods,

"I zink you were right, Captain, and zis is an airlock.  We will need to close ze exterior door, before ze interior one will open."

"This button appears to operate the exterior door." Archie indicates a large white button, set into the wall near the door through which they entered.

"That, or it fires the death rays to disintegrate us all." S'Ondra eyes the globules again, "I know it doesn't make any sense, but we're in an Egyptian pyramid, in the middle of the _asteroid belt_.  That doesn't make any sense to begin with.  I say we just blast the doors."

"I zink, leibchen, zat if zey _are_ death rays, zey are more likely to start shooting us if we blast ze door zan if we press ze button." Gustav pats her on the shoulder, "Archie, if you would be so kind ..."

Archie presses the button, and the exterior door glides shut, closing with a soft _clunk_ of gears.

"See?  That's the atmospheric seal.  An airlock, like I said." Fury nods in satisfaction, right before the group are lit up by an eerie green light.

If this is an attack, however, it is a singularly ineffective one.  Their flesh does not burn from their bones; their lives are not snuffed out in an instant, and they don't collapse in writhing agony.  In point of fact, the light induces no physical sensation at all; just gives them a minty green glow.  After a few seconds, even that ends, as the light is extinguished as suddenly as it began.

"What was that about?" Fury cocks his head in puzzlement.

"Perhaps they infected us with germs.  An insidious attack, indeed." Archie initiates a hygiene scan, and several lights on his console immediately glow white.  "Most interesting.  I detect no foreign organisms on our bodies, but there is now a thin atmosphere in this chamber.  It was not present before."

"A breathable atmosphere?" Fury asks.

"Yes."

Gustav snaps his fingers as an idea occurs to him,

"Perhaps ze builders of zis structure could not have infinite resources, so they structured ze atmosphere processor to commence operations only when zere was someone here to breathe it."

"It's an interesting theory, Doc, though it doesn't bode well for our welcome."

"How so?"

"Well, if the people here don't need an atmosphere, then they're probably dead." Fury explains.

"Or robots." Archie manages to sound wounded.

"Or robots.  In which case I'm sure the welcome will be excellent, once we're done with the decontamination procedures." Fury rolls his eyes.

"_I_ think they're all dead." S'Ondra sounds almost pleased by this thought, "I mean, that's what you humans built pyramids for, wasn't it?

"I'm not an expert on the subject, Princess."

"I'm not surprised."

The inner door slides open, interrupting the latest squabble.  Beyond is a short corridor, leading to what appears to be a set of elevator doors.  The walls of the corridor are decorated in Egyptian-style murals, and lined with clay urns that stand nearly waist high.

"The atmosphere is present throughout this area as well." Archie advises.

Gustav removes his helmet and nods toward the elevator doors,

"I don't zink zere were many lifts in ancient Egyptian tombs, somehow."

"Probably not." Fury agrees.  After waiting just long enough to be sure the Doctor isn't choking to death, he removes his own helmet, "Not without slaves to work the pulleys."

"These jars look empty." S'Ondra moves past the men and peers inside one of the large clay urns.  Seeing nothing, she sticks her arm down into one of them and feels around, "Nothing."

"I'm glad to see they aren't trapped, either." Fury mutters.

S'Ondra gives him a withering look,

"We aren't in one of your silly human adventure vids now, Captain."

Archie trundles past the others and presses a button beside the doors.  These immediately slide open, revealing what is clearly an elevator car.

"I suggest we continue our exploration."

"A good idea, Archie!" Gustav follows the robot into the elevator, "Come on leibchen, Captain."

Entering the elevator, Fury and S'Ondra find Archie busily studying a console with four buttons, a video screen, and six small meters set into it.  Only one of the four buttons are lit, though three of the six meters show readings.  On the screen, a miniature version of Gustav can be seen waving at the camera which provides the video feed.

"What do you suppose these are?" Fury taps the meters.

"I do not know." Archie admits, "It is possible that they are energy readings."

"Only one of the tanks is full, then." Fury indicates the meter in question.  The other two are lit only for one third to one half of their length, while this one is almost fully illuminated.

"So where do we go?" S'Ondra peers at the console, "I guess the lit button is probably the floor we're at, now.  Which one do we press?"

Fury shrugs,

"If in doubt, start at the top." He presses the highest button, and the elevator begins to rise.


----------



## Hatchling Dragon

Augh, he's apparently managed to nail the 'Cliff-Hanger' endings all too well!


----------



## drnuncheon

Am I the first, then, to 
_Dun-dun  DUNNN!_
?

Time for commercials!


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 5*

The elevator doors open onto a corridor that is almost identical to the one they just left, except that one of the Egyptian murals has been replaced with a series of pictures.

"Interesting." Gustav examines the pictures, "Zis seems to be ze story of a space traveller: see how ze fireball of ze first picture comes down from ze sky, and ze radiant figure emerges."

"Looks like he landed in Egypt, from all the pyramids." Fury muses, "What do you make of this, Doc?" the Captain points to a pair of small figures in the second picture.

"Zey are lying down, which could mean death or sleep." Gustav strokes his beard, "and zey are shown within ze fireball.  I zink perhaps zere were three of these star travellers, and zat two of them died in ze arrival on Earth."

"So the last one took off again, came here, and built a pyramid?" S'Ondra prowls back and forth, obviously bored with picture-appreciation, "What, he liked the architecture?"

"I do not know why he would do zis," Gustav shrugs, "But perhaps zere will be more complete records somewhere else."

"Is it possible this alien is still alive?" Fury drops a hand to his atomic pistol, staring around with narrowed eyes.

"I do not zink it is likely.  He would be thousands of years old, by now."

"And nothing else that's unlikely has happened today." It's a good job that Archie's speech chip doesn't include a sarcastic tone.

"There's a big set of doors up here." S'Ondra's restlessness has carried her further along the corridor, "I say we go through them, and stop messing about with art appreciation."

Fury and Gustav share a look, then the Captain shrugs, and the four space adventurers gather at the doors.  These are large, unadorned, and each appears to be made of a single giant slab of stone.  Fury gives a low whistle.

"Impressive."

"The ones at my father's palace on Venus are bigger." S'Ondra sniffs.

"Do you prefer big ones, Princess?"

Ignoring the Captain's question, S'Ondra presses her palms against the doors, and gives a testing push.  Despite their size and weight, both doors move slightly at the pressure.

"Marvellous engineering." Gustav nods in approval, "Ze counter-balance must be perfect."

S'Ondra thrusts open the doors.

Within is a great stone chamber, dozens of yards across.  Each of the four walls is plain and unadorned.  In fact, there is only one feature of any kind in the room: a metal dais at the centre, on which rests a huge block of cloudy white plastic.  The block gives off a soft glow, which not only lights the room, but also reveals a dark, humanoid shape at its heart.

"Careful, Princess." Fury steps forward, drawing his weapon. "It could be hostile."

"It's wrapped in plastic." S'Ondra sniffs. "It's probably dead."

"Sensors report no life signs -" Archie confirms, then pauses to whir in agitation, "- correction.  Life signs now being detected.  Faint, but growing stronger."

As the robot speaks, the light emanating from the plastic block fades: or rather, turns inwards, for as the room darkens, the block glows brighter and brighter.

Finally, there is a _pop_, and then a hiss of escaping air, as the giant block spits in two.  As the pieces draw apart, we get our first clear glimpse of the man - for he seems to be human - who lies within.  He has stern features, softened by sleep, and thick, dark hair.  Not truly handsome, at least in the traditional sense, he has a face which nonetheless draws and holds the eye.

And then his own eyes open - dark eyes, old and knowing - and the man sits up.

"No sudden moves." Fury snaps, aiming his atomic pistol, "Who are you?"

Staring calmly at the four adventurers, the man slowly rises to his feet, and steps down from the dais.

"Greetings, Earthlings." His voice has strength, and a mature timbre, "I am Xinthon, of the D'Bari Alliance.  Thank you for awakening me from my long sleep.  I have need of your aid."


----------



## Len

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Greetings, Earthlings." His voice has strength, and a mature timbre, "I am Xinthon, of the D'Bari Alliance.  Thank you for awakening me from my long sleep.  I have need of your aid."



Oh, yeah, these are just the saviours he's been waiting millenia for.


----------



## ledded

Man, how do you do it?


All these story hours, and you posting great content to each and every one.

Great stuff, all of it.

You make me sick


----------



## GreyShadow

I love this SH.

So when do we see the girl get wrapped up like a mummy?


----------



## Capellan

There _will_ be a proper update sometime this week, but in the mean time, an anecdate:

Over the weekend just past, I ran Q-Ship four times at a convention.  The game began with the four crew members (plus a stowaway character) about to make their first test of the drive.  As with the home game, they would jump out, jump back, and end up in a parallel universe where space mould had destroyed the Earth.

I expected new players to try different things from the home game, and was basically intending to wing what happened after that, based on whatever they did.  This included using some story elements from the 3rd session of home game (which I won't spoil for you).

In any case, the first, second and fourth games went much as I thought they would: the group jumped in, jumped out, learny about the mould and the parallel universe, react to it and generally embroil themselves in one scrape or another thereafter ...

The _third_ group, however ...

Arriving back in the solar system, and receiving no response to their radio calls to Mission City, they flew down to the site of Pluto Base.  It, of course, was missing.  Investigating the completely empty site, Fury's player said to Gustav's:

"Doctor, do you have any theories as to what might have occurred?"

And Gustav's player, without batting an eyelid, said:

"Indeed.  Zere can be only one explanation: a crime as terrible as zis can only be ze vork of mine arch-nemesis, ze evil Doctor Gustav Alois!"

Two hours later, after locating Alois' Secret Underwater Arctic Base, defeating his army of Killer Death Robots, and escaping the _Sauna of Doom_ due to the defection of the lovely Agent X (whose heart was swayed by Fury's impassioned 'pep talk' ability), these Q-Shippers thwarted their enemy's last gambit (a Lava Death Winch with an unfortunate tendency to jam when marbles are thrown into the cogwheels), and restored the atomically disrupted Mission City to its original state.

Inventing an entirely new module on the fly is FUN, even if I could barely talk by the end of it


----------



## Ao the Overkitty

Oh man.  That sounds great.  And a yeah for an update this week. Been going through Q-Ship withdrawal.


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 6*

"I am no Earthling." S'Ondra raises her chin imperiously, "I am Venusian."

Xinthon inclines his head, acknowledging the correction,

"I apologise, my lady.  Whatever your species, your beauty lights the room."

S'Ondra squashes the look of girlish glee that briefly flits across her face, acknowledging the compliment with a graceful nod of her head.  Her gaze locks with the smouldering eyes of the stranger, and a faint blush rises up her neck.

Fury grumbles under his breath, then shakes his pistol in an attempt to reclaim control of the situation.

"What are you doing here?" the Captain demands, "Space Force has no record of your D'Bari Alliance."

"Indeed, you would not." Xinthon answer is directed to Fury, but his eyes remain on S'Ondra, "My homeworld is several star systems from here."

"Impossible.  It would take hundreds of years to travel between solar systems."

Gustav opens his mouth, then yelps as Fury none-too-subtly kicks him in the ankle, forestalling any mention of the Q-Drive.

"Actually, it took eleven months." Xinthon appears not to notice the two men's interaction. "The D'Bari Alliance has developed an engine which is capable of spanning the vast space between stars.  I came here in a vessel equipped with such an engine, many years ago.  I assume from your comment that your people have not yet discovered this technology."

"They're really very primitive." S'Ondra agrees.  Fury scowls,

"Details of Earth technology are classified." He narrows his eyes, "You never said _why_ you are here."

"I began to do so, but was interrupted." Xinthon gives a very slightly smug smile, "I am - or was, for this occurred long ago - an explorer, sent out by the Alliance Council to explore the galaxy and discover new worlds, peoples and knowledge."

"How long have you been here?" S'Ondra interrupts.

"I do not know, exactly.  A moment, and I will check my instruments." Xinthon turns with a sweep of his black cloak, and places his hand on the metal dais.  A hatch opens, revealing a small monitor and keyboard, marked with strange symbols.  The alien's fingers race across the keys, and glowing amber text scrolls across the screen. "According to the computers, your world - or I should say, Earth, since not all of you are from there - has orbited this sun over five thousand times since I entered stasis."

"Five thousand years?" Fury snorts, "That's -"

"I assure you it is quite possible." Xinthon overrides the inevitable objection, "When last I was there, a tribe known as the Egyptians were the most advanced of your people.  Are you of their kingdom?"

"We are representatives of the _United_ Earth Government." Fury makes no move to lower his gun, "I am Captain John Fury, of Space Force."

"I am indebted to you for finding me, Captain, and trust I will be able to persuade you of my peaceful intentions in due course." Xinthon inclines his head gravely, "I must seek the aid of your people, after all.  But tell me, who are you companions?"

S'Ondra does not wait to be introduced.

"I am Princess S'Ondra." She announces, "And I speak as the representative of Venus, not of Earth."

"I am Doctor Gustav and zis is Archie." Gustav waves at the robot by his side, "Your stasis device is remarkable.  How does it work?"

"Unfortunately, my expertise is biological science." Xinthon gestures at the plastic block, "I could give you a full explanation of the effects it has on my physiology, but not on the functioning of the device itself -"

"Who built it, then?" Fury challenges, jiggling the weapon in his hand to underscore the question. "For that matter, who maintained it while you had your five thousand year nap?"

"Captain, your hostility is really quite unnecessary." Xinthon raises his hands placatingly, "I will tell my tale from the beginning, if you will simply give me time to do so."

"We're listening."

"As I said, I came here five thousand years ago, aboard a D'Bari exploration ship.  The vessel, since I am sure you will ask, is on this asteroid.  There were three of us in the crew; myself, as Biological Sciences Officer, and two others, each with their own specialisations.  Unfortunately, shortly after we arrived in this system, we experienced a malfunction to the shields.  Our pilot was killed when some space debris struck the cockpit, leaving only myself and the technical officer.  He was able to restore shields, but not before damage from the debris caused an overload in the Stardrive.  He was killed in the explosion.  I was in my laboratory in the time, and survived, though I was injured."

"I could fix zis drive for you." Gustav volunteers, "It vould be most interesting."

"Let's hear the rest of the story, before making any offers of assistance." Fury nods for Xinthon to continue.

"The Stardrive - which is used for interstellar flight - was destroyed, but the Planetary Drive survived.  I was thus able to travel within this star system.  Seeing signs of civilisation on the third planet, I landed there, and encountered the people known as Egyptians.  Unfortunately, their civilisation was not sufficiently advanced to aid me in repairing the Star Drive, so I decided to go into stasis here.  It was my belief that, by the time your people were sufficiently advanced to find me, you might be able to offer me the help I needed." Xinthon gestures around the room, "I designed my home for this time to resemble the tombs of your people.  It seemed to me that you would be drawn to such an anomaly, when you discovered it; a theory that I see was correct."

"Why is it that a member of such an advanced race would need _our_ help?" Fury asks, caustically.

Xinthon sighs,

"As I said, Captain, my field is biological sciences, not machinery.  The Star Drive was damaged beyond my capacity to repair it.  That is why I need the help of your government."

S'Ondra nudges Gustav,

"Doctor, shouldn't we tell him the truth?" she whispers, "There's no human government for him to talk to."

Gustav flicks his aside,

"It is of no concern, leibchen.  I am sure I can make ze repairs zat our new friend requires."

"Is something wrong?" Xinthon asks, brow furrowing as he notices the whispered conversation.  

"No, not really." S'Ondra gives him a warm smile, "I was just noticing how similar you look to the more handsome members of my own race."

Xinthon gives a low chuckle,

"I could say much the same of you, your Highness."

Gustav frowns,

"Archie, do you zink zis is an inappropriate advance?" he whispers, pulling a battered notebook out of his pocket, "I am sure zat my wife said zat I should make sure to stop any of zose."

"I think it is acceptable, Doctor." Archie renders his verdict, "Mister Xinthon keeps his quarters very tidy.  Unlike _some_ people.  I approve."

Fury, who still hasn't holstered his pistol, interrupts.  His tone is quite peevish, by now.

"You can't repair your drive, yet you built this place.  That's quite an achievement for a 'biological scientist'.  How did you do it?"

"_I_ did not." Xinthon shakes his head, "This structure is comprised of pre-existing machinery and schematics.  I simply ordered the builder-bots to construct it, and they followed the plans.  If I had the appropriate parts to repair the drive, they could have done that as well, but many supplies were destroyed in the explosion, and I do not have the schematics to build some of the missing items from scratch."

"Builder-bots?" Archie's console lights up in interest, "What are builder-bots?"


----------



## Plane Sailing

So, the other two members of the team died in "accidents" huh?

Don't drop your guard, Fury!


----------



## Ao the Overkitty

I keep thinking of Khan while reading this guy's lines, for some reason.

Another great update.


----------



## KidCthulhu

More please!  Make with the posting, ya lazy Aussie git.  It's not as if you have any _other_ story hours to post!


----------



## Capellan

Hmmph.  The lack of appreciation for hard work in this place is terrible.  Art takes time to produce, you know ...    

I'm actually working on an update right now.  Well, not _right_ right now, since right now I'm typing this message ... but I was working on it two minutes ago and I will be again in two minutes more.

Oh, though now does seem a good time to mention that I'll be floating around the north-east corner of the US in August this year


----------



## Piratecat

Less excuses. More updates. Slacker. Why, *I've* updated three times this week!

And you, my friend, should come and visit. We count as the northeast corner, so send me details when you have a chance. We'd love to meet you in person.


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 7*

Xinthon leads the four space adventurers back down the hallway and into the elevator.  The alien's black coat billows slightly as he moves, while his tunic pulls tight across his chest.  S'Ondra notices.  Fury, noticing S'Ondra noticing, scowls.

Once all five members of the groups are in the elevator, the D'Bari Scientist presses the lowest button on the console.  There is a soft whine of machinery, and then a flicker of lights in the shaft as the elevator car descends,

"I'm taking you to the floor where the atmospheric processor and gravity generators are stored." Xinthon brings up a schematic of the pyramid on the elevator's video screen.  There is a single elevator shaft, with four levels leading from it. "The top level is where you found me.  We then have the storage area, the entry hall- through which you came into this building - and then our destination, here at the base."

"Vat is in ze storage area?" Gustav asks.

"All kinds of spare parts and materials from my vessel.  Engine components - only for the Planetary Drive, unfortunately - laboratory equipment, steel plates, tungsten ore ..." Xinthon trails off and shrugs, "All the things the builder bots need in order to keep everything operating."

The elevator jerks to a stop, and the doors glide open with a soft _hiss_, revealing a room filled with chrome, steel and glass.  Huge consoles of machinery stretch up the walls, to the ceiling nearly twenty feet above, and there is a constant _clank_ of giant pistons and gears at work.

"I'm sorry about the noise." Xinthon raises his voice slightly, "But some of the equipment had to be jury-rigged.  It's not as efficient as I would have liked, but -"

"What on Venus is _that_?" S'Ondra snaps her heat lance up into an aggressive position, the crystal point glowing with a pale orange light.  A robotic spider, easily a foot across, has crawled out from behind one of the consoles.  It carries a globule of silvery metal in its mandibles, and scuttles across the floor toward them.

"All is well." Xinthon holds out an empty palm, then waves for the Princess and Fury to lower their weapons. "'That' is a builder-bot.  There are probably several others in here, keeping the machinery in order.  You need not concern yourselves; they are completely harmless."

"Fascinating." Gustav bends over to peer curiously at the small robot, which skitters obliviously between his legs.

"Ugly." Is S'Ondra's rather less enraptured response.

"But functional." Xinthon shrugs easily, "Small enough to move anywhere in a D'Bari vessel, and built to withstand great extremes of temperature and pressure.  If only flesh and blood was as strong."

"Flesh and blood has its own advantages." Fury gives the builder-bot a suspicious stare.  For it's part, the 'bot pays the captain no attention at all.  As it passes close to Archie, however, it abruptly comes to a halt, a series of lights flashing across its abdomen.

"Ah, it seems to have detected your metallic companion." Xinthon folds him arms in satisfaction.

Oblivious to the attention it is receiving, the builder-bot extends one of its metallic legs and uses it to tap Archie's large steel foot.  _Tink tink tink_.

A shadow looms over it as Archie bends to peer more closely at his small visitor.  Slowly, the larger robot leans down, reaching out one hand to tap on the builder-bot's carapace.  The 'bot skitters slightly at the touch, its legs rippling with the movement.  Then it settles, tapping back on Archie's out-stretched hand.

"Fascinating." Gustav grabs the builder-bot and lifts it into the air, peering at the underside, "Marvellous leg mechanisms -"

"Doc, I don't think it much likes that." Fury indicates the agitated twitching of the builder-bot's legs.

"But I must see how ze creature is constructed -"

"Please Doctor, not now." Archie gently removes the builder-bot from his master's hands.  The smaller robot immediately scampers up his arm, perching on his shoulder.  It pauses once there, seemingly alert, then makes a succession of taps and scrapes with its leg. "I believe I will be able to communicate with it, given some time to process its command structure."

"Very well." Gustav sighs, clearly disappointed at not getting to disassemble anything.

"Come, Doctor." Xinthon smiles, and waves them toward the elevator, "We will leave our robot friends to become better acquainted, and I will take the rest of you to view my ship.  Not only am I eager to enlist the aid of your government in repairing it, but perhaps you would enjoy the opportunity to see more of my technology, first-hand?"

The Doctor - with what sounds suspiciously like a chortle of glee - immediately hurries toward the elevator doors.  Xinthon offers S'Ondra his arm, and the two follow Gustav at a more decorous pace.

Fury pauses for one last glance at Archie,

"Keep your eyes open." He mutters at last, "I don't trust this guy."

Then, still scowling, he brings up the rear.


----------



## Tellerve

AS he shouldn't, he's got his arms on his babe!  Or at least what he considers to be his babe.

Soo...Yeah! Update!  Thanks Capellan.

Tellerve


----------



## KidCthulhu

Wooot!  I wake up and there's a new post.  I love this time difference thing.  While I sleep, industrious Australians are making story hour for me.  It's a little like pixies, only not.  (Unless, Cap, you are secretly prone to wearing gauzy wings and carrying a glittering wand.  And if you are, please don't tell me.)

I love Archie's new pet.  The question is, will the first technology they see first hand be the "Brain extractor" or the "Kill-o-zap death pistol"?


----------



## ledded

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> Wooot! I wake up and there's a new post. I love this time difference thing. While I sleep, industrious Australians are making story hour for me. It's a little like pixies, only not. (Unless, Cap, you are secretly prone to wearing gauzy wings and carrying a glittering wand. And if you are, please don't tell me.)



Bah!  He's an aussie, remember?  If he had wings they'd be made of sun-hardened leather and have all kinds of masculine and threatening metal bits sticking out everywhere  



> I love Archie's new pet. The question is, will the first technology they see first hand be the "Brain extractor" or the "Kill-o-zap death pistol"?



No, no, no.  It just *has* to be the Isometric Many-toothed Corer of Painful Doom (tm).  Um, for mining purposes.  Heh.  Only.  Heh.  Really.  

Great update Capellan, glad to see you posting so much good content.  I really don't know how you do it, but keep doing it.


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 8*

Inside the elevator, Xinthon presses his palm against an apparently ordinary metal panel, which slides aside to reveal a second console, with a large red button.

"I did not want anyone to stumble across my vessel by accident." He explains, thumbing the button as he does so.  The elevator descends smoothly for several seconds, taking them below the levels marked on the main console.

The doors open onto a smooth stone tunnel.  The tunnel is a perfect cylinder, the stone almost glass-like in its finish.  A grille-like metal walkway provides solid footing, and there are fluorescent strips on each side of the walkway for illumination.

Xinthon escorts S'Ondra along the tunnel and into a large cavern, most of which is filled by the bulk of a winged, silver spaceship.  Rather than the rocket-like design of the _Pathfinder_, the body of this vessel is somewhere between a crescent and a half-moon in shape.

"My." S'Ondra looks at it approvingly, "It's much bigger than yours, isn't it, Captain?"

"It's not the size of the ship that counts, Princess, it's what you do with it."

"The Star Drive is in this area here." Xinthon indicates a bulbous section at the rear of the vessel. "The builder-bots have repaired the hull, so you can't see the damage from here, but the systems inside are all destroyed."

"So big as she is, you can't get her up?"

"Not at all, Captain.  The ship is fully capable of flight within a star system ... it is only the interstellar Star Drive which no longer functions.  The planetary drive is Xenon-based.  I imagine your ship uses something similar?"

"That information is classified -" Fury begins.

"Oh yes, it sounds much like our own engines." Gustav babbles absently, his attention focussed on the vessel's hull, "Of course, we are currently very low on Xenon supplies, but zis will be fixed as soon as we go to Jupiter to refuel."

"And what of your interplanetary capabilities?"

"Vell, we have ze Q-Drive of course." Gustav beams for a moment, then looks crestfallen, "Though zere are a few bugs to be worked out -"

"Perhaps the D'Bari Alliance will be able to assist you in resolving the problems." Xinthon offers graciously, "I would certainly be willing to ask them for their aid, in exchange for the help of your government in repairing my vessel.  When do you think we would be able to contact your leaders to discuss this?"

Gustav opens his mouth to answer, then yelps as Fury stands on his foot.

"Contact with the government is restricted." The Captain answers sternly, "In any case, we have full authority to negotiate on behalf of the people of Earth."

"Very well." Xinthon does not seem offended by the answer, "Please, come aboard.  I will give you a tour of the vessel.  Would you like refreshments?"

"No thank you." From the expression on Fury's face, it is clear he regards this offer as a poisoned apple.

"Do you have any of zose sandwiches with ze crusts cut off?"

Xinthon shakes his head,

"I am not familiar with your Earth foods.  However, biochemical analysis shows that you should find D'Bari cuisine both palatable and nutritious.  Are you sure you won't join us, Captain?"

"I am."

"Very well." Xinthon shrugs, then whispers _sotto voce_ to S'Ondra, "Is he always like this?"

Once they are aboard the vessel, the D'Bari scientist passes around a plate of slightly crumbly yellow cubes, which S'Ondra and the Doctor consume with evident relish.

"Come, Doctor." Xinthon beckons, "I will show you the engineering section of the vessel.  Perhaps you would like to look at the Star Drive immediately."

"Indeed I would." The Doctor replies enthusiastically, yellow crumbs still sticking to the corner of his mouth.  S'Ondra makes a _tsk_ing noise and cleans them off with a piece of cloth.

The four begin to make their way through the corridors of the vessel.  As they walk, Fury deliberately drops to the rear of the group, waits for the others to round a corner, then turns on his heel and heads back the way they came, with a look of suspicion written across his face.

Apparently unaware of the Captain's actions, Xinthon leads the Doctor and S'Ondra into a room which is filled with computer banks.  There are dozens of screens set into the numerous consoles, as well as many kinds of robotic machinery.  At the centre of the room, under a large hydraulic arm, is a comfortable chair, surrounded by consoles.

"This is the main technical station." Xinthin explains, activating the screens.  Pages of strange symbols scroll past, but then the D'Bari presses a few buttons and the text changes to English. "The computer has analysed your language and compiled a translation routine.  I have instructed it to display all data after first processing it with this routine."

"Most ingenious." Gustav eagerly takes a seat, and begins poring over the records.  Within moments, he is entirely oblivious to the others, scribbling comments in his battered notebook.

"Oh dear." Xinthon glances around without any evident sign of dismay, "We seem to have lost the Captain.  Still, he cannot come to any harm aboard the ship, and I am sure he will find us eventually." The tall, handsome alien offers S'Ondra his arm, "In the mean time, perhaps you would like a personal tour of the vessel?"

"That would be very pleasant." S'Ondra takes the offered arm and the two leave the Doctor to his work.  As they walk, Xinthon continues to speak,

"Tell me, what is your role aboard your own vessel?  Perhaps we could start with that area of this ship."

"Well, actually ..." S'Ondra looks a little bashful, then tosses her hair, almost visibly reminding herself that she is a princess, "I was aboard the _Pathfinder_ so that the Doctor could study the effects of the Q-Drive on my physiology.  I'm not human you know -"

"Indeed." Xinthon nods, "I had noticed the difference between your physiology and their own, already.  Yours is obviously considerably more advanced, in evolutionary terms." He reaches up and strokes her feather-like hair.

S'Ondra blushes.

"Perhaps in that case, we should begin with the laboratory." Xinthon smiles warmly, "If you would allow me to take a sample of your hair, I could show you how my instruments analyse your physiology."

"Yes ... that sounds good." S'Ondra manages to reply through sudden bashfulness.

"Come, it is this way." Xinthon sweeps his arm, and the pair turn down a nearby corridor.

As he walks beside the Princess, the D'Bari smiles again.  And this time there is no warmth there; only predatory anticipation.


----------



## the Jester

You'd never see this in a dnd game.

The group _split up._


----------



## Ao the Overkitty

Ah. gotta love it.

Another great update.

And yes, whenever our group splits up, the smaller group gets sniped by imps (and it's pretty much always the same guy).

Can't wait to see what trouble Fury gets himself into exploring.


----------



## arwink

the Jester said:
			
		

> You'd never see this in a dnd game.
> 
> The group _split up._




Because, what, we didn't know where the bad guy was?


----------



## KidCthulhu

arwink said:
			
		

> Because, what, we didn't know where the bad guy was?



Good point.  I'm pretty sure he's slinking along behind S'Ondra, enjoying the view and a nice sotto voce evil chuckle.


----------



## Plane Sailing

So, what are the bets on the repairbots co-opting Archie or vice versa? Will Archie be seduced by the pristine cleanness of the D'bari way, or will the robots rise up against ancient tyranny


----------



## Len

arwink said:
			
		

> Because, what, we didn't know where the bad guy was?



_The_ bad guy? Heh.


----------



## arwink

Len said:
			
		

> _The_ bad guy? Heh.




Well, yeah.  We are produced by the BBC you know - we can either have a special guest star as the villain, or the villain can have thugs.  It's not like the budget will stretch to both


----------



## Len

Man, you're lucky. Judging from the number of monsters our party's tank has to cleave through every week, our campaign must be produced by Cecil B. DeMille!


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 9*

Archie hums softly to himself as a stream of data flows between himself and the builder-bot.  The smaller robot's neural processor is considerably more primitive than his own ... but then Archie is hardly a 'factory model' anymore.

In truth, he finds the builder-bot's simplicity and directness rather pleasant.  It is far less complex than his human companions, and shares far more values with him.  Excitement does not concern it.  A clean and efficient workplace does.

As the stream of data transmission continues, Archie becomes aware that the activity in the vast chamber has slowed, the number of builder-bots declining with every minute he remains.  More and more, they are departing the room, without returning.

"Where units go?" he transmits.

"Go build."

"Build what?"

"Build _good_." A wave of electronic satisfaction emanates from the small robot.  Archie, feeling the robotic equivalent of curiosity - and a slight sense of concern - makes the obvious request:

"Take me."

"This way." The builder-bot scurries down his torso and across the floor.

Archie follows, his powerful legs easily keeping pace with the slightly jerky movements of his companion.  The robotic duo enter the elevator and ascend to ground level, the builder-bot leading Archie out onto the surface of the asteroid.  Archie pauses in the airlock.

"Out here?"

"Yes.  Follow.  Build good."

The builder-bot leads the way back across the barren plain, wending between boulders until the _Pathfinder_ comes in sight.

Archie stops and runs a diagnostic of his visual sensors.  Green lights glow briefly on his metallic cranium as all systems check out.

The _Pathfinder_ rests exactly where they left it, its gleaming metal surface marred slightly with a patina of space dust, but otherwise unscathed.  Archie makes a log entry to clean it.

Less than fifty yards on its left, however, sits a _second_ vessel.  Or rather, a second _Pathfinder_.

The builder-bot scuttles onto his shoulder and seeks approval.

"Is good?"

"Yes.  But why?"

"Is new.  Build new is good."

Archie processes this.  It is true that he himself feels a special satisfaction from using a new detergent.  Musing on the finer pleasures of life, he activates his radio,

"Doctor?  I have something unusual, here."

"_Ja_, Archie, what is it?" Gustav's voice is distorted by static, fading in and out through the hiss of white noise.

"The builder-bots seem to have constructed another _Pathfinder_."

"_Mein Gott_!  Is it functional?"

Trundling slowly forward, Archie turns the full force of his sensor suite on the new vessel.  In appearance, it is a perfect match: even the pattern of space dust has been repeated exactly.  Every dimension is the same, and a chemical analysis shows the same elements in the same quantities, but -

"It appears to only a hull, Doctor." He reports, "I have reached the door, and the access lever is not functional."

"Do you know why zey have chosen to build zis?"

"They say it's because it is new."

"Why did zey build only ze hull?  Can you ask zem?"

"A moment, Doctor." Archie keeps the radio-link open and turns his attention to the 'bot. "Build hull only.  Why?"

"Build need plan." The builder-bot explains, "See hull, have plan.  Not see inside, no plan.  No build."

"Can zey build from printed plans?" Gustav's excitement is evident even through the static of the communicator.

"They say they can."

"Could you bring your friends to me, Archie?  I have need of zem." In the engineering section of Xinthon's ship, Gustav is surrounded by a pile of printed plans and documents.  He feverishly scribbles on one with a stub of pencil as he talks.

"Yes, Doctor." Archie's voice responds through a fresh burst of static.

"Good, Archie.  I vill see you soon." Gustav closes the com-link and leans back in his chair, pushing his glasses up onto his bald scalp as he does so.  He has been through almost all of the ship's systems, confirming which sections are damaged and which can function normally.  Almost everything is in tip-top order, immaculately maintained by the builder-bots.  The glaring exception is the Star Drive.

"Zese systems have suffered such complete destruction that it is almost like zey were deliberately sabotaged." He mutters to himself, then punches up a display of the ship's spare parts manifest.  Selecting 'Star Drive' from the menu, he shakes his head as the inventory comes up empty.  "Every part was used?  Zat will make zis _most_ challenging."

Picking up his pencil, Gustav throws himself enthusiastically to the task of designing the parts he will need in order to repair the Star Drive.

So excited is he by the task which faces him, he does not notice the blinking "--MORE--" cursor at the bottom of the screen.


----------



## Plane Sailing

I'm not quite following the thread at the end of this episode. Seems like there have been some cancellations along the way because of sports events and political rallies messing around with the schedules (as per normal) causing a delay in the transmission of this episode...


----------



## Capellan

The BBC wishes to apologise to this break in transmission.  We are experiencing technical difficulties.

Normal service will resume shortly.


----------



## Fade

I'd been wondering if this'd gone off the air forever. Good to know it's just technical delays.

/gets up on the roof to tinker with the aerial.


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 10*

"Well this is a fine situation we're in." Fury expositioned his way along the ship's corridor, "A strange reading in the asteroid belt turns out to be a _pyramid_, of all things, and when we investigate it, it turns out to be the home of an alien who comes across as far too clever to be honest, if you ask me.  Not that anyone is.  Oh no, S'Ondra's too busy lapping up all that Gallic-style savoir faire, and the Doc and Archie seem taken in as well.  This Xinthon is up to no good, I can feel it in my bones."

Continuing to mutter to himself, the Captain stops to peer into one of the rooms leading off the corridor.  It appears to be the quarters of one of the alien crew, for it has a desk and a pole from which hang several sets of uniforms, but there does not appear to be anywhere to sleep.  Fury sniffs, his expression making it clear what he thinks of a people who have no need for beds.

Entering the vessel's bridge, Fury stalks over to the pilot's seat.  Spinning the large leather chair with a flick of his wrist, he plonks himself down and scans the controls.  After a few tentative taps of the buttons, the Captain's movements become confident, and he settles back into the chair experimentally.  For a moment his features soften, as if he is rethinking his opinion of Xinthon, but then S'Ondra's giggle echoes out of a speaker on the console, and his frown returns.

Leaping to his feet, Fury strides across the bridge.  Moments later, he is emerging out of the ship.  As he walks down the silver ramp, he activates his communicator,

"Archie."

"Yes, Captain?" a burs of static partially obscures Archie's words, but Fury ignores this, his attention elsewhere as he walks quickly toward the pyramid's elevator.

"There was a -" Fury pauses and frowns another burst of static from the radio, then continues, "- another floor of the pyramid.  Xinthon never showed it to us.  I'm going there to check it out.  I want you to meet me there."

"I am currently occupied, Captain."

Fury knows how to push the robot's buttons,

"This is the floor where no-one's been, Archie.  It's probably been left to get dusty and dirty."

"I will be right there, Captain."

Fury steps into the lift, jabbing the button for the final floor with more than the necessary vigour.  The lift rises, stopping at the entrance level, and Archie enters.  A builder-bot scurries in after him, wobbling as it crosses the corrugations of the lift door's runners.  Fury gives the small device a suspicious look as the elevator rises once more.

"This corridor seems as clean as all the others, Captain." Archie observes as the elevator doors open once more.

"Here, perhaps." Fury walks forward, pointing to a pair of large steel doors at the far end of the corridor, "But what about in there?  I wonder what needs such big doors to hide it."

Archie turns to the builder bot, lights flashing on his dome-like head.  Answering lights blink on the spider-like robot, and it whirrs and chitters in reply.

"It is a store room." Archie translates the machine language back to the Captain, "The replacement parts and materials used by the builder-bots are kept there."

"Can that thing open these?" Fury indicates the doors.  There is another moment of robot to robot communication, then the builder bot scuttles forward, lights blinking in a complex pattern.  Moments later, the doors slides option, with a soft hiss of hydraulics.

The room beyond is fashioned of plain, whitewashed cement, and is stacked high with crates, boxes and containers of all kinds.  Fury's attention, however, is immediately drawn to two large shapes at the back of the room, each covered with a grey tarpaulin.  Moving over to these, he pulls back the covers, revealing two stasis tubes, like the one from which Xinthon emerged.

The creatures inside the tubes, however, look nothing like the handsome Xinthon.  They have bestial, bat-like faces, and fur covered bodies.  More alarming still, their frames and desiccated and emaciated, as if all the moisture has been drained from them.

"Most unsanitary." Archie whirrs in agitation, "These bodies should have been properly and hygienically disposed of."

"Never mind that." Fury waves away the robot's concerns, "How did they die?"

Archie conducts a sensor sweep,

"They each have an injury to their neck, through which the fluids of their bodies were drained."

"Like a vampire bite?"

"That is an adequate- though superstitious - approximation, Captain."

Fury snatches out his communicator,

"Doctor.  I need you to come to the second floor of the pyramid immediately.  There is something I need you to see."

He moves his thumb from the 'talk' button and waits expectantly for Gustav to reply, but the only answer is static ...


----------



## Plane Sailing

Back on air! Hooray!

We missed you, Cap'n Fury, S'Ondra and the others, we missed you!


----------



## Zaruthustran

There's nothing like a good ol' _SPACE VAMPIRE!_ 

-z


----------



## ledded

_Dun-Dun_ DUUUUUN!!!!


Ah yes, I finally re-discovered this gem, and it's been updated in my absense.  Very nice, I hope to see more soon.  Story Hours this cool need their own theme music.


----------



## Capellan

Sorry folks, but there will now be another delay while I travel halfway around the world and work out what the heck kind of internet access I will be able to cobble together for the next two and a half months.




I hope they have the internet in the sleepy little 'burg I'm going to.  What was its name again? .... Oh yeah .... 'Boston'.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> I hope they have the internet in the sleepy little 'burg I'm going to.  What was its name again? .... Oh yeah .... 'Boston'.




I understand that they manage to get by there, even if the local atmosphere makes storyhour writing... irregular


----------



## Piratecat

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> ...even if the local atmosphere makes storyhour writing... irregular




Screw you, hippie! Dang uppity Brits, with their "I never get writer's block" airs and their la-de-dah attitude. . .

Anyways, ha ha! We'll make Capellan run Spaceship Zero for US, and then I'll finally get to play. Oh, joyous bliss that makes the cherubhim themselves grin like lobotimized monkeys.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Oh, joyous bliss that makes the cherubhim themselves grin like lobotimized monkeys.




Actually, if you spend any time with Renaissance art, the cherubs look remarkably like lobotomized monkeys...

I too share the joy of Capellan's arrival.  Spaceship Zero for everyone! (except his players at home, of course.  They're S.O.L.)


----------



## Plane Sailing

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Screw you, hippie! Dang uppity Brits, with their "I never get writer's block" airs and their la-de-dah attitude. . .




You forget "pot calling the kettle black"


----------



## ledded

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Screw you, hippie! Dang uppity Brits, with their "I never get writer's block" airs and their la-de-dah attitude. . .
> 
> Anyways, ha ha! We'll make Capellan run Spaceship Zero for US, and then I'll finally get to play. Oh, joyous bliss that makes the cherubhim themselves grin like lobotimized monkeys.



Dang.

That is so.... not... FAIR!

I would make some joke about forcefully re-routing his plane to a more southern locale (come on, hurricanes are *fun*) but I'm sure that the FBI would probably descend on me quicker than I could say 'carnivore'.  Or not, it's hard to tell these days.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Anyways, ha ha! We'll make Capellan run Spaceship Zero for US, and then I'll finally get to play.




So which are you going to play? Slave girl or super intelligent pet


----------



## arwink

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> I too share the joy of Capellan's arrival.  Spaceship Zero for everyone! (except his players at home, of course.  They're S.O.L.)




And we hate you all because of it.  

In the nicest possible way, of course


----------



## Len

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Anyways, ha ha! We'll make Capellan run Spaceship Zero for US, and then I'll finally get to play.





			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> So which are you going to play? Slave girl or super intelligent pet



How about super-smart pet with a slave girl? Leadership has to be good for something besides a bunch of followers that get eaten by the first dragon.


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 11*

Fury races along the corridor.

Bursting out into the cavern which houses Xinthon's spaceship, he dashes across the stone floor, atomic pistol clutched in hand.  Behind him, a builder-bot still clinging to his shoulder, comes Archie.

Reaching the base of the ship's ramp, Fursy skids to a halt.  We see his eyes widen in shock, and then the camera turns, focussing on a pair of elegant black boots.  The camera pans up, over long, perfect legs.  Then it pulls back, bringing S'Ondra fully into view.

The beautiful Venusian lounges casually against the airlock door, her feather-like black hair cascading over her shoulders,  Her eyes smoulder as she stares at Fury.  Her usual silver outfit is gone, replaced with an even more dramatic black ensemble: little more than a bikini, it only barely maintains her decency.

"Hello, Captain." She purrs.


_** * * FLASHBACK * * **_


S'Ondra stands in a room filled with scientific equipment, watching as Xinthon places a slide under a microscope.

"So, how many crew did you say the ship had?" she asks.

"Three." The D'Bari replies, adjusting the microscope. "Myself, the Pilot, and the Technical Officer.  I must say that I envy your Captain - neither of _my_ crewmates were anywhere near as beautiful as his."

S'Ondra blushes prettily as Xinthon straightens and rubs the small of his back.  He drops his hand onto the desk.

"Do you think the government of Earth will agree to send representatives with me to meet with the D'Bari government?" he asks.

"I'm not sure -" S'Ondra hedges, looking a little uncomfortable.

"If they do, would you willing to come as well?"

S'Ondra colours further, then tentatively shakes her head,

"I can't.  Not now."

Xinthon nods his acceptance of her response, then sweeps his free hand toward the microscope.

"I have examined your hair with my instruments,  Your cellular structure is astonishing.  Would you care to take a look?"

S'Ondra nods and steps toward the microscope.  As she passes Xinthon, the D'Bari sweeps his hand up from the desk, jamming a syringe into her back.  S'Ondra gasps, staggers, and falls to the floor.

Xinthon stoops and effortlessly lifts the young woman's body onto a nearby medical bed.  Strapping her down quickly, he attaches a drip to her arm, and watches in satisfaction as a green, viscous liquid begins to flow through the tube and into S'Ondra's body.  Then, with a curt nod of his head, he turns and strides out of the room.

We cut to Doctor Gustav, who is furiously scribbling into a notebook with a tiny stub of pencil.  Abruptly, the nib of the pencil comes to a halt and the Doctor looks up, blinking owlishly.  Thrusting the pen into the corner of his mouth, he turns to the screen, ready to type in a new command, and then pauses as he notices the blinking "-- MORE --" cursor in one corner.

"Vot is this?"

Gustav thumbs the spacebar, and information begins to scroll up the screen.  Gistav reads, and the pencil falls, forgotten out of his mouth.

"Shields nominal until ze explosion here -" he mutters, his eyes darting back and forth, "- fluid spill in ze bridge, zen here." He taps a few keys:

ANALYSE FLUID SPILL

The computer beeps:

ANALYSIS COMPLETE: D'BARI BLOOD

"Mein Gott."

"Oh dear." Xinthon's cultured tones break into the scene.  Gustav whirls in his chair, to find the D'Bari looming over him, "I see you've found out."  He swings his arm, and the Doctor's world goes black.

Light creeps into the shot again, and we are looking upward, into Xinthon's face.  The D'Bari smiles, satisfaction clear in his expression.

"How are you feeling, my dear?"

"Strong." The voice is S'Ondra's, hoarse but clear, "Thirsty."

"A side-effect of the process, I am afraid." Xinthon shrugs an apology, "But more than worth it, I assure you.  If only my colleagues could have seen that.  But then one's crewmates can be so obtuse, can't they?"

As S'Ondra slowly sits up in the bed, the D'Bari continues his monologue, "I must say, after I killed them and put myself into suspended animation, I never expected to be awakened by anyone as beautiful as you.  There's no way I could let you just go back amongst those _monkeys_." He looks down at his body with distaste, "I shall be very glad to return to my own form."

"Thirsty." S'Ondra repeats, lips curling back from her teeth.

"Well, how convenient." Xinthon smiles, and points to a black and white monitor in a nearby console, "Because it seems your friend Captain Fury is on his way.  Why don't you go meet him?"


_** * * FLASHFORWARD * * **_


"S'Ondra." Fury's voice is a little gruff.  He cocks his head to one side, "Have you done something with your hair?"


----------



## ledded

Wow.

Well done.  Damned well done.


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 12*

Archie clanks up behind Fury, his expression as shocked as a robot's can get.

"S'Ondra!  That outfit is most inappropriate.  You'll catch a cold, dressed like that!"

The Princess ignores Archie's concerns, and instead crooks her finger at Fury,

"Why not come this way, Captain?" she asks, with a coy smile, "There's something I want to ... show you."

"S'Ondra, have you bathed recently?" Archie's lights flicker in agitation, "I am detecting unusual chemicals from your bio-readings.  Though you are quite marvellously clean."

"Hush, Archie." Fury swaggers his way toward S'Ondra, "You know I'm always willing to see anything you'd like to show off, Princess."

Archie hits him.

"_That_ was an improper advance." The robot announces primly.

"Urrgbkle." Fury protests, from his semi-comatose sprawl on the floor.  He may be hard-headed, but it's not every day a two and a half ton robot punches your lights out.

"Captain, you appear to be injured.  I must take you to the Doctor immediately." Archie scoops up Fury, whose arms and legs wave feebly as the robot drapes him over one shoulder. "Excuse me, Princess."

"Wait!" S'Ondra protests, blinking out of her surprise at the robot's sudden action, "Stop! "

Archie grinds to a halt, gears whirring.  The robot's whole body quivers, as if he wants to leap forward, but his hard-wired programming holds him still.  S'Ondra smiles,

"You have to obey me."

"I must obey all mission members." Archie concedes, stiffly, swivelling his head to regard the salacious beauty as she walks slowly toward him, "In accordance with their respective authority."

Dimly, this pierces the befuddled Fury's brain,

"Must .... find ... Doctor." He moans.

"Sorry Princess, I have my orders." Who knew a robot could sound so smug?  Archie speeds off down the ship's corridor.

"Wait!  Stop!  Damn it!" S'Ondra wails, then stamps her foot, but Archie speeds on, leaving her behind.  As the steel walls of the corridors blur past, he gently nudges Fury's semi-conscious body,

"Sorry about the thumping, Captain, but I don't think Princess S'Ondra was quite herself.  I'm sure you would have regretted going with her.  We have to find the Doctor.  He'll know what to do."

"Mmphrgl."

"I knew you'd agree."

We cut to the Engineering section, as Doctor Gustav stirs in his chair.  Thick black chains have been wound around his body and upper arms, imprisoning him in his seat.

"Ach, Archie ... it cannot yet be time to get up." Suddenly Gustav's eyes snap open, as he realises his predicament. "You!" he accuses.

"Me." Xinthon agrees, pleasantly.  The alien is leaning over the schematics the Doctor drew during his research, "I must say, I'm impressed that someone with your primitive intellect could have so quickly designed a solution to my predicament.  If only you hadn't also been so clever as to find out my little secrets, you might actually have survived this." He pauses, then shrugs with a smile, "Actually, probably not."

"Zis will never vork." Gustav promises the alien, as he fruitlessly tries to squirm out of his bonds, "Ze ozzers will be here to stop your evil plan!" he pauses, "Vot _is_ your evil plan?"

"I told you.  I just want to get home." Xinthon smiles, his teeth seeming uncomfortably large and sharp.

"Are zey all like you, zere?"

Xinthon laughs, then shakes his head mockingly,

"They are not.  I have _improved_ myself.  And your daughter."

Archie bursts through the door.  Xinthon sighs,

"Though I have not, it seems, improved her enough."

Archie lets Fury's limp body slide to the floor, then strides forward, his visual receptors locked on Xinthon.  Slowly, he raises his arms, the massive exhaust ports opening above his hands,

"I have detected a large accumulation of rubbish in this room, Doctor.  Permission to deploy Plasma Burners?"


----------



## Plane Sailing

Go Archie, Go!

Go Archie Go!


Go Archie Go!


----------



## threshel

Archie!

[size=+1]Archie![/size]

[size=+2]Archie![/size]


----------



## ledded

Archie! Archie! he's our man, if he can't do it...


----------



## Tellerve

...Hopefully Fury can!


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 13*

The sounds of shouting dimly penetrate Captain Fury's semi-conscious brain.

With a soft moan, the hero of Space Force pushes himself up from the floor, one hand gently probing the side of his aching skull.

"Archie!" he exclaims, seeing the robot's gleaming metal back, "You _hit_ me!"

"We have bigger concerns, Captain Fury." Without turning around, Archie steps to one side, revealing the smirking Xinthon and his prisoner, Doctor Gustav.

"Zis alien fiend has done zomething to my leibchen!" Gustav does his best to pound his fist on the arm of his chair, "You must stop him!"

Fury looks perplexed.

"Not to worry, Doc.  I just saw her, and she seemed fine."

S'Ondra bursts into the room.

The lithe Princess lands in an animalistic crouch between Archie and the Captain.  Facing Fury with a feral snarl curling her lips, she clutches her heat lance in one white-knuckled hand.  Sweat beads her heaving bosom, and gives her long, sculpted limbs a sheen under the fluorescent lights.  Eyes fixed on the Captain, she gives a low growl.

"Okay, that is a little odd." Fury admits.

All hell breaks loose.

S'ondra leaps. Fury shouts.  Archie fires.  Xinthon laughs.

The Princess grabs the collar of Fury's shirt with one hand, lifting him bodily into the air.  The shirt tears a little from the rough treatment, but the fabric mostly holds.

"You monster!" Fury accuses Xinthon.  Hands still free, the Captain snatches out his atomic pistol and fires.  The blast strikes the D'Bari in the shoulder, burning a neat hole in Xinthon's tunic.

But the flesh underneath is unmarked.

"Eliminating waste." Archie unleashes both massive gouts of super-heated plasma, engulfing Xinthon's upper body.  Over the crackle and roar of flames, the alien's laughter rings out.  He strides out of the blast, his shirt completely immolated, his skin coated in soot, but otherwise unhurt.

Raising a hand, the D'Bari points at Fury.  Lightning arcs across the room, slamming into the unfortunate Captain.  His body convulses as electricity blasts through him.  The lightning wreathes both Fury and S'Ondra, crawling up and down their bodies with a hiss and crackle much like static: but unlike the Captain, the Princess seems completely unaffected by the experience.

John Fury's been in some nasty spots before, but nothing quite compares to this.  He fights to hold onto consciousness, stiff upper lip at its firmest.

Then S'Ondra throws him into the wall.

Fury's shirt tears as the Princess releases him.  He slams into the wall with an audible _thud_, then tumbles to the ground, the last strands of fabric falling away.  He lands on his back with his eyes closed; his body still but for the shallow rise and fall of his chest from breathing.

Securely bound, Gustav jerks his whole body to the side, inching his chair toward the nearest computer console.  At last, his straining fingers reach the keyboard, and he begins typing as best he can,

"Zomething.  Zere must be zomething ..." he mutters to himself as he works.

Seeing Fury's collapse, Xinthon laughs again.  He turns and hurls another bolt of lightning, this time striking the broad expanse of Archie's metal torso.  The robot staggers, panels blowing of his body and smoke streaming out of the newly-made holes.  With a chitter of alarm, the builder-bot on his shoulder scuttles down his back and clings there, out of the line of fire.

"Ja!" Gustav exlaims.  He slaps a button on the keyboard in front of him and the engineering room's giant mechanical arm grinds to life, swinging across the room.  "You can't escape ze long arm of Doctor Alois Gustav, alien!"

Xinthon sees the arm at the last moment.  He tries to twist aside, but the heavy metal limb slams into his chest with considerable force.  There is an audible _crunch_, and the D'Bari staggers.

"You will _pay_ for that, old man." Xinthon snarls.  He straightens his body and raises both hands.  Balls of lightning form around them, sparks arcing back and forth.

As the maniacal alien prepares to annihilate her father, Princess S'Ondra crawls over Fury's body, her thighs straddling his hips.   She reaches down and twists his head to expose his throat.  Then she gives a wordless snarl, lips curling back to expose fang-like incisors, and leans down to feed.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Arrrrgggh!

I need longer episodes!


----------



## Len

Capellan said:
			
		

> As the maniacal alien prepares to annihilate her father, Princess S'Ondra crawls over Fury's body, her thighs straddling his hips.   She reaches down and twists his head to expose his throat.  Then she gives a wordless snarl, lips curling back to expose fang-like incisors, and leans down to feed.



Cool! That's just what he always wanted.


----------



## ledded

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Not to worry, Doc. I just saw her, and she seemed fine."
> 
> S'Ondra bursts into the room.
> 
> The lithe Princess lands in an animalistic crouch between Archie and the Captain. Facing Fury with a feral snarl curling her lips, she clutches her heat lance in one white-knuckled hand. Sweat beads her heaving bosom, and gives her long, sculpted limbs a sheen under the fluorescent lights. Eyes fixed on the Captain, she gives a low growl.
> 
> "Okay, that is a little odd." Fury admits.



Oh Cap... I laugh, I cry... 

Damn, but you're good.



			
				Capellan said:
			
		

> <snip>
> Fury's shirt tears as the Princess releases him. He slams into the wall with an audible _thud_, then tumbles to the ground, the last strands of fabric falling away.



Because sooner or later, the Captain _always_ gets the shirt torn.  

Another great cliffhanger, I can't believe that it just cut to commercial.


----------



## robberbaron

Oh man, a cliffhanger EVERY episode!


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 14*

At the last moment, Fury's eyes snap open.

S'Ondra rears back with a growl of surprise.

The Captain smiles,

"Sorry, old girl.  Dashed unsporting of me to play dead, but this is not really the time for Marquis of Queensbury rules."

For the second time in a day, the Princess gets stabbed in the back with a syringe.

Fury grunts as he depresses the plunger, pumping the chemical into S'Ondra's bloodstream.  It's a standard Space Force emergency ampoule, designed to anaesthetise the recipient completely, and render then unconscious for medical evacuation.  It's highly effective.

Of course, no-one's ever used it on a Venusian, before.  Least of all one with a strange alien concoction already pulsing through her veins.

S'Ondra screams, back arching, hands clutching her hair.  And then we see the world through her eyes.

The room swims in and out of focus, a red haze overlaying it all.  White flashes sometimes blot everything out, then fade as suddenly as they came.  The shouts of those around her seem slowed, like a tape played at half speed (_exactly_ like a tape played at half speed, in fact).

"You will _pay_ for that, old man." Xinthon's words come with the finality of thunder.  Lightning arcs from his raised hands to strike Gustav's chest.  The helpless Doctor writhes as the electricity plays over him, then slumps down in the chair, unconscious or dead.

"*No.*" the word is dragged, guttural and filled with hate, from S'Ondra's throat.  Her gaze rests on the face of the laughing Xinthon, and the screen turns red as whatever other words she might say are lost in her feral scream of rage.

Xinthon snaps around just in time to avoid the lunging thrust of S'Ondra's heat lance, and the gleaming Venusian weapon smashes into the computer console, causing a shower of sparks.  He can't twist aside of S'Ondra's whole body, however, and the Princess slams into him.

The pair tumble to the ground as Archie moves forward, gigantic metal fists raised to strike.  Xinthon may be able to shrug off plasma and atomic energy beams, but heavy lumps of metal seem to hurt him just fine.  Archie has those in spades.

With S'Ondra and Archie at his throat, and Fury staggering to his feet in the background, Xinthon finds the odds much less to his liking,

"You'll pay for this, primitives!" he warns, then turns and races out of the room.

"Princess, wait!" Fury cautions, but S'Ondra is in no mood to listen.  With a howl of rage at her enemy's flight, she hurls herself after him.  The Captain makes to follow, but Archie calls him back.

"The Doctor is gravely injured." The robot's lights blink in concern, "I fear his injuries are beyond my ability to repair."

"Damn that alien monster!" Fury pounds his hand on the wrecked computer console, "I'm not sure what I can do to help though, old man ... I'm no Doctor, and that's what the Doc needs."

In response, Archie extends his arm, and the builder-bot scuttles out from his back, down the limb and onto his hand,

"They can rebuild anything, Captain." The robot reminds Fury, "Provided they have the necessary plans.  Thus, to repair a damaged human -"

"- they need an undamaged one." Fury nods, and strips off the last few shreds of his shirt, "And I'm the closest we've got to one of those.  Tell the bug to get to work."


----------



## threshel

Pins and needles, old boy, pins and needles.

Edge of my seat, as it were.

Bully!


J


----------



## Fade

Capellan said:
			
		

> "They can rebuild anything, Captain." The robot reminds Fury, "Provided they have the necessary plans.  Thus, to repair a damaged human -"
> 
> "- they need an undamaged one." Fury nods, and strips off the last few shreds of his shirt, "And I'm the closest we've got to one of those.  Tell the bug to get to work."




So we're going to end up with a rather strapping Doctor?


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 15*

Xinthon races into the waiting elevator, with S'Ondra only a few paces behind.  He slaps the console, and barks out the single word:

"Close!"

The doors slide shut in S'Ondra's face.

Growling under her breath, the Princess pulls her heat lance back and slams it into the join of the doors.  With a grunt of effort she forces the doors far enough apart that she can get her fingers in between.  This done, she wrenches them open: the doors give way with a sound of tortured metal.

The elevator shaft is dark and empty, the lift car itself carrying Xinthon up and away.

S'Ondra throws herself at the dangling drive cables and begins to swarm up hand over hand, pursuing the retreating D'Bari.  Minutes later, she bursts through a hatch in the floor of the elevator car.  Scrambling to her feet, she catches sight of Xinthon as he reaches the pyramid's airlock.

Without pausing, the alien thumbs open the inner door, steps through, and allows it to slide shut behind him.  Again, S'Ondra is a few seconds too late - she literally _bounces_ from the airlock door as she tries to hurl herself through the closing gap.

Far too enraged to think about the consequences, the Princess levels her heat lance and fires repeatedly at the door.  After a few blasts, the metal barrier explodes inwards.  Beyond, the outer door is also open, with Xinthon nowhere in sight.

Snarling in frustration, S'Ondra stalks forward.  A light wind ruffles her hair as she emerges from the pyramid, and she sniffs at the air, as if trying to find her quarry by scent alone.

Maybe she actually smells something, or maybe some other sense alerts her at the last minute, for the Princess ducks just in time as Xinthon lunges out of the shadows, hands reaching for her throat.  She fends him off with her heat lance, but the momentum of the D'Bari's charge sends her stumbling backwards.

"You stupid primitive!" Xinthon snarls, as the two warriors strain against each other, each with two hands on the heat lance, "I have brought an atmosphere to this entire asteroid!  I have evolved myself to a new level!  I offered you a chance to rise to that level with me, and you refused it!"

S'Ondra's only response is a guttural howl as she hurls the D'Bari back.  Xinthon drops into a crouch, and the two fighters begin to circle each other.

And then the camera pulls back, and we zoom out into space.  Below us, the combatants shrink to the size of dots ... and then _become_ dots, circling each other on the black display of a radar screen.

Fury's hands fly across the control panel of Xinthon's ship as he flicks switches, presses buttons, and watches readings climb on all the gauges.

"Are you sure about this, Captain?" Archie asks.  The massive robot holds Gustav's limp body in his arms.

"Positive, Archie.  There's nothing in space I can't fly." Fury doesn't spare the time to turn around, so absorbed is he in his flight preparations, "Get the Doc out of here.  Take your new friend with you." He pauses, "Have you taken a copy of all Xinthon's notes?  We'll need them to help S'Ondra, when all this is over."

"I have it all, Captain," Archie nods.  He turns to leave, then pauses: "Good luck, Captain."

At the robot's words, Fury does spare a moment to look back,

"Keep the luck for the Doc, Archie.  I've got this covered."

The robot leaves, still cradling the Doctor, as Fury finishes the last of the flight checks.  As he listens to the whine of the ship's planetary drive building power, the Captain closes his eyes and takes a deep breath,

"Hang in there, baby."

It's not clear if he's talking to the ship, or to the dots on the screen.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan, as an author you rock on a stick. I've bought short stories that don't have a fraction of the character and tension you put in here.

Cheers mate!


----------



## Capellan

Just thought I would drop in to thank everyone for their feedback.  It's always nice to hear that people are enjoying the story hour.

The real 'thank you' will come tomorrow night, with another update


----------



## ragboy

Capellan said:
			
		

> Just thought I would drop in to thank everyone for their feedback. It's always nice to hear that people are enjoying the story hour.
> 
> The real 'thank you' will come tomorrow night, with another update



So, I thought I'd found all the story hours I'd ever need... how naive can you be. Just started and loving it. Keep up the great work.


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 16*

S'Ondra lunges toward Xinthon, but the D'Bari is too fast.  He dodges aside from her heat lance and swings an elbow toward her face.  The Princess jerks back from the blow, but it's a feint: Xinthon wraps his hands around the heat lance and tries to wrench it from her grasp.

For a moment, they stand locked against each other.  Sweat shines on S'Ondra's neck and bosom.  The D'Bari, on the other hand, seems cool and collected.

"You're too weak, girl." Xinthon hisses, "Only one injection, and no chance yet to feed.  Your muscles are trembling.  You have no chance."

S'Ondra growls, and yanks once more at the lance.

As she does so, there is a deep, deafening rumble, and the ground lurches beneath them.  Xinthon, braced in position, maintains his balance.  S'Ondra, her weight thrown backward, stumbles and falls, the heat lance tearing loose from her hands.

Xinthon spins the weapon around and thrusts the point under S'Ondra's chin, as she lies sprawled before him.

"Foolish woman." He gloats, "You could have had it all.  Instead, you will die, as will all your friends.  What chance do a monkey and a robot have to beat me?"

S'Ondra smiles.

A shadow looms over Xinthon.

The alien spins, heat lance forgotten.

Behind him, S'Ondra throws herself to the side, rolling behind a rock.

The shot snaps around, and we see the silver D'Bari spaceship plunging through the air.  The entire vessel is rattling and groaning as it plummets toward the ground.  Fury sits in the command chair, thick black straps holding him steady as the ship thunders downward.

Xinthon's eyes widen in shock.  He opens his mouth to scream -

- and the spaceship ploughs into the asteroid's dusty, rock-strewn surface, right where the D'Bari is standing.

The vessel careens across the landscape, bouncing and shuddering with every impact.  Pieces of the wings and tail section are shorn away, and then the ship's nose digs into the ground and it flips end over end: straight into the Pyramid.  The impact shakes the entire structure, and ruptures what little remains of the ship.  The vessel is now at a final stop: nose pointing toward the ground, tail resting near the pyramid's peak.

Hanging upside down in the command chair, Fury comes groggily to consciousness for the second time in the hour.

"Drive breach." The ship's computer announces, "Systems will go nova in 57 seconds.  Drive breach.  Systems will go nova in 56 seconds."

Shaking his head to clear it, and then wincing and deciding that was a bad idea, Fury unclips his harness.  He half-climbs, half-falls onto the ship's viewing canopy, which is now patterned with dozens of spidery cracks.  The glass creaks under his weight.

"Drive breach.  Systems will go nova in 51 seconds."

Drawing his atomic pistol and stepping to the side, Fury aims upward.  He fires, and the beam cuts neatly through the command chair's pedestal.  Loosed, the chair plummets downward, smashing into the window canopy and shattering the glass.  Chair and canopy alike cascade down the side of the pyramid.

"Drive breach.  Systems will go nova in 45 seconds."

Holstering his pistol, Fury takes a deep breath and lowers himself through the hole made by the chair.  He stretches with his feet, questing for a stable surface to stand upon.  For a few moments there is nothing, and then his boots scrape across stone.

"Drive breach.  Systems will go nova in 32 seconds."

Fury lets go.

He drops lightly onto the side of the pyramid, landing in a crouch, and then quickly begins to race down the building's side, arms held out to maintain his balance.

Dimly, the sound fading as Fury runs:

"Drive breach.  Systems will go nova in 24 seconds."

Fury sprints across the dusty ground of the asteroid, to where a black clad figure lies sprawled before some rocks.  Scooping up the unconscious S'Ondra, Fury leaps the rocks and ducks out of sight.

The ship *explodes*.

There is a blinding flash of white and a tremendous roar of sound.  Dust dances around Fury's feet as the whole asteroid shakes.  Fragments of the D'Bari vessel fly in all directions, as do huge chunks of stone from the pyramid.  When the smoke clears, the massive structure has an enormous blackened hole gouged out of its side.

And then there are the roars of secondary explosions, deep within the pyramid itself, and the entire thing begins to crash in on itself, until only a few ruined blocks of smoking debris remain.

"Well, Princess, we're safe." Fury makes the unconscious S'Ondra as comfortable as he can, and then leans back against the rocks, "At least, for as long as this artificial atmosphere holds out."

He closes his eyes, and the screen goes dark.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Now that's quality television, er, Story Hour!  Nice ending.  Can't wait for the next episode.  Please tell me we won't be getting re-runs until next season.


----------



## ragboy

Okay. I just watched the whole boxed set...

*flipping channels* 

Surely there are new episodes somewhere...


----------



## Capellan

*"Space Tomb" - Part 17*

Darkness.  Silence.

Then, the hint of light in the darkness, and a voice speaks,

"Will she recover, Doctor?"

"_Ja_, Archie.  My _leibchen_ will soon be hale and whole and her own self once more."

Fury opens his eyes.

"Ah, Captain.  It is good to be seeing you awake." Gustav leans over him, blotting out the glare of lights.

"What?"  Fury stops, moistens his lips, and tries again, "What happened?"

"You destroyed the pyramid." Archie reproves him, "There is rubbish _everywhere_."

Fury chuckles, then coughs,

"I mean ... S'Ondra."

"She is vell, Captain." Gustav assures him, then lays a hand on the younger man's shoulder, "Zanks to you."

"Xinthon?"

"Dead." Archie confirms.

"I feel terrible." Fury admits, then struggles to sit up.

"It is not surprising, Captain." Gustav gently pushes him back into the bed., "Ze atmosphere of ze asteroid was almost gone by ze time Archie and I located you.  Had it not been for ze builder-bot, ve would not have been able to save ze two of you."

Fury grimaces,

"Those things are still around, are they?"

"Just the one." Archie clarifies, "The rest were destroyed with Xinthon's ship and the pyramid."

"How'd it help save us?"

Gustav and Archie glance at each other.

"Perhaps it is better if you do not ask, Captain." Gustav suggests, "It is enough to say zat it made sure ze two of you had enough oxygen to breathe, _ja_?  It vas ze builder-bots which made ze atmosphere, in ze first place, you see."

"How nice of them." Fury doesn't really have the energy for sarcasm.

"Indeed, yes." Gustav wouldn't have got it, even if he did.

The Captain pushes himself upright once more, and this time he refuses to let Gustav push him back down again.  He swings his legs across and perches on the edge of the bed, clad only in his regulation-issue long johns.

In the bed across from him, S'Ondra lies peacefully, eyes closed.  Dressed once more in her familiar silver costume, the only sign of what she has been through comes from the soft hum of the diagnostic machines around her.

"What about what that alien did to her?" Fury asks, "Did you fix that?"

Gustav nods,

"Before he left ze ship, Archie was able to copy ze formula of ze compound which Xinthon injected into her.  Alzough biology is not my principle area of expertise, I would not be ze genius I am if I could not come up with ze antidote in such a circumstance, _ja_?"

"You're the Doc, Doc." Fury agrees.  He stands, and begins to gather his clothes from where they lie folded on a chair beside his bed, "Now, I'm going to go and see about getting us off this rock."

"Already?" Gustav looks disappointed, "Think of ze discoveries we might make in ze ruins of ze pyramid, Captain!"

"I thought you said it was destroyed."

"Utterly." Concurs Archie.

"Ve cannot know zat without searching more carefully!" Gustav protests, "Ze remote scans are simply not enough, Archie.  Zere could be all kinds of alien knowledge zere -"

"Alien knowledge?" Fury interrupts.  He points at S'Ondra, "I think we've all had quite enough alien knowledge for one lifetime, Doctor."

Gustav frowns.  Then he glances at his adopted daughter, and his expression softens.  He sighs,

"Ach, you are right, Captain."

"Of course I'm right." Fury responds, with something resembling his usual air, "I'll go get us moving.  We still need that Xenon."

The Captain walks out of the medical bay.  At the last moment before he would disappear out of shot he turns and calls back through the closing doors:

"Personally, I'll be happy if I never see another alien again, ever."


_*Next time, on "Q-Ship" ...*
"With the threat of Xinthon averted, the crew resumes their journey to Jupiter.  There, they must brave the dangerous Xenon storms of the gas giant, and extract the necessary fuel to keep their vessel running.  It is a delicate operation ... and one that will leave them extremely vulnerable to any outside threat ..."

_Space warps and twists, then tears open in a blinding flash.  Something huge begins to loom out of the rupture ...

"It's eight miles long, Captain." Archie reports, "Mass readings off the scale."

A massive spaceship hangs above the earth, almost blotting out our view of the planet.  Suddenly, there is a *whump* and giant yellow globule flies out of the ship's nose, and speeds down toward the surface.

The screen goes black, and a harsh, mechanical voice intones: "I, Grishnag, Star Commander of the 17th Battle Fleet, claim this system in the name of the Targ Totality.  All who hear this transmission must submit, or be destroyed."

_"Join us next time, on Q-Ship, when the crew of the _Pathfinder_ encounter:  *The Targ Totality*."_


----------



## Plane Sailing

> "How'd it help save us?"
> 
> Gustav and Archie glance at each other.
> 
> "Perhaps it is better if you do not ask, Captain." Gustav suggests, "It is enough to say zat it made sure ze two of you had enough oxygen to breathe, ja? It vas ze builder-bots which made ze atmosphere, in ze first place, you see."




Now why are Gustav and Archie being so coy about this, I wonder?


----------



## arwink

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> Now why are Gustav and Archie being so coy about this, I wonder?




I'm wondering too, and I was there   

Sadly, I can't remember whether that was related to the idea we came up with the save the Cap _or_ the fact that the Doc's player and I could usually be the folks relied upon to make off-color slash-fic references at the wrong moment.

It's quite possible it was both.

I'm amazed at how much of the Pre-Targ sessions I don't remember.  Now I have to wait for Capellan to update with the DVD extras like everyone else   

(And I still want my planet full of dinosaurs dammit)


----------



## Capellan

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> Now why are Gustav and Archie being so coy about this, I wonder?




Take your pick:

1.  the screenwriters thought exposition at the end of the episode would be boring
2.  the screenwriters wrote themselves into a corner, were too lazy to think of a way out, and hand-waved it with "don't ask"
3.  it involved the builder-bot sticking a long metal tube down Fury's throat, and there'd been enough robot-slash jokes in the episode already




			
				arwink said:
			
		

> (And I still want my planet full of dinosaurs dammit)




Man .... do you know how much those stop-motion effects would cost?

Maybe we could film some iguanas from _really close up_ then overlay long shots of the crew into the scene ...  

DVD extras for the episode will be posted this week sometime, and then we'll start off the next episode.  I'm writing the first post at the moment.


----------



## Richards

Isn't a targ a bad-tempered animal the Klingons use as pets?  Kind of like a warthog on steroids?

Johnathan


----------



## Capellan

*DVD Trivia Extras*

Despite its apparently random subject matter, "Space Tomb" is regarded by some parts of the fan base as the lynch pin 'continuity' episode of _Q-Ship_'s first season.

This was the first episode to feature a crew member turned evil, but far from the last.  Depending on your interpretation of the characters in the episode "A Venusian Christmas Carol", it can be argued that all members of the crew were 'evil' at one stage or another in the series' three season run.

The builder-bot models were actually mounted on the chassis of remote-controlled cars, with their legs attached to the wheel axles.  If you freeze the DVD in certain shots of the moving bots, it is possible to catch a glimpse of the wheels themselves.

The cast and crew's pet name for the surviving builder-bot was "Gordon".  He can often be seen in the background of shots in the _Pathfinder_ sets during subsequent episodes.

S'Ondra's "evil" costume in this episode was the subject of the single highest volume of complaints received by the BBC during the show's run.

Perhaps not coincidentally, the "Evil S'Ondra" action figure was the only item of _Q-Ship_ merchandise to outsell the _standard_ S'Ondra doll.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Capellan said:
			
		

> S'Ondra's "evil" costume in this episode was the subject of the single highest volume of complaints received by the BBC during the show's run.




Yes, but I've heard that all the complaints came from two Scottish spinster sisters living in Kirkaldy.  

And there was a significant write-in campaign from the Clapham Young Mens' Train Spotting and S'Ondra Watching Fan Club, asking for MORE episodes with the evil costume.


----------



## Len

http://search.ebay.com/Evil-SOndra_W0QQfromZR8QQsatitleZEvilQ20SQ27OndraQQsokeywordredirectZ1

Darn.


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 1*

The _Pathfinder_ hangs in space, over the great orange bulk of Jupiter.

"Here we are." Captain John Fury spins in his command chair, to face the rest of his small crew, "the only natural source of Xenon in the solar system.  Back home, there'd be a dozen mining ships down there -" he gestures at the swirling red and orange mists of the planet, "- and as many fuelling platforms out here for us to refill the ship's tanks.  Obviously that's not going to happen here, so ... Doc, I'm hoping you'll live up to that 'genius' tag?"

"Archie and I haf been analysing ze schematics for zese ozzer vessels in ze ship's database." Gustav pushes his spectacles up his nose and taps a screen that Fury can't see, "I believe we haf developed ze way to extract ze Xenon for ourselves, and also to protect us from ze crushing forces of Jupiter."

"Crushing forces?" S'Ondra asks.  Her foster-father nods, and absently pats her hand,

"To collect ze Xenon, we must enter into the gas storms of Jupiter itself.  Ze forces zere would tear a ship like ze _Pathfinder_ to pieces within seconds, if it is not properly shielded."

Fury nods,

"If we go in like this, we won't live long enough to regret it.  So Doc, what have you boffins come up with?"

"Archie will modify ze sampling arm so zat we can deploy it to extract Xenon." Gustav explains, "And I vill recalibrate ze ship's shields to protect us from ze turbulent atmosphere."

Fury looks impressed,

"You can do that?  With a ship this size?  We'll have to keep your notes for when we get back home.  Space Force will be interested in shield technology like that!"

"Perhaps not, Captain." Gustav demurs, "Although the recalibrated shields will protect us from ze effects of ze atmosphere, in zis configuration zey will offer no protection from missiles or atomic energy beams."

Fury's eyes goggle momentarily at the thought of being unprotected from weapons fire, and then he sighs.

"I guess we don't have any choice.  And it's not like there's anyone out there to take shots at us." He sighs again, evidently disappointed by that thought, "What about gravity?  Will we still have that?"

"Internal gravity will be a fractionally lower than normal." Archie replies, "But you should not notice any discomfort.  Especially as you will be occupied with piloting us through the poisonous gases and violent electrical storms that are common within the planet.  One false move would get us all killed."

"I'm sure the Captain will do just fine at fiddling with his joystick." S'Ondra opines, and we go to the credits with that thought fresh in our minds.

We fade back in as the crew buckles themselves into their chairs.  All four look tense (and a tense robot is something to see), as Fury flicks switches on the console in front of him.

"All engines online," he reports, then turns a dial, "Ready for shields, Doctor."

"Engaging." Gustav slides several gauges up to their maximum settings, then pulls down on a lever to his left.  There is a high-pitched whine, and slight flickering of the space visible through the cockpit window. "Shields online and stable.  I believe ve are ready for entry."

"I'm always ready for entry, old boy." Fury assures the Doctor.

The _Pathfinder_ leaps forward, angling down into the orange and crimson mists of Jupiter.  Within seconds, it is lost to sight.

"Hang on folks, this is likely to get a bit bumpy!" Fury holds on firmly to the control stick as the ship cuts through the gaseous mass of Jupiter.  There are flashes of light and rumbles of thunder in the distant clouds, and the ship lurches, the crew swaying first one way, then the other.

"Deploying Xenon Scoop." Archie intones, and the vessel's extraction arm emerges with a whirr of hydraulic power. "Xenon tanks filling ... estimate seventeen minutes until full capacity achieved."

The _Pathfinder_ flies on, bucking and diving in the turbulent mists.

"Capacity reached." Archie reports at last.  Fury, jaw clenched as he fights to keep the vessel under control, manages a acknowledging nod,

"Pulling out." He draws back on the control stick and the ship's nose comes up, angling toward the planet's surface.

"Energy spike!  Energy spike!" Gustav shouts, "All stop, Captain!  All stop!"

"All stop." Fury confirms, slamming buttons on the console power grid, "Talk to me, Doc."

"Ze energy spike is not from us." Gustav reports, hands flying across his own console, "It is from above Jupiter.  Archie?"

"Bringing it on visual." The robot affirms.

Just beyond Jupiter's surface, the fabric of space warps and twists, then tears open in a blinding flash.  Something huge begins to loom out of the rupture, and as the camera pulls back, we can see it is an enormous ship, studded with strange bulges and protrusions.  At the front of the vessel is a massive globe, with a black opening near its base.  Lights gleam along the length of the ship.

And what a length it is: the ship keeps coming, more and more of its grey bulk emerging from the tear in space, the front of the craft disappearing out of sot.  Yet still there is no end to it, the vessel thickening around its waist as gigantic hangars bulge out from the sides.  Then the hangars are done, and finally the rear of the vessel appears; enormous, crackling engines aglow.

"It's eight miles long, Captain." Archie reports, "Mass readings off the scale.  I estimate the number of cleaning staff required for a vessel of this size to be two hundred and fourteen."

There is a blast of static from the the _Pathfinder_'s radio, and a harsh, mechanical voice intones: "I, Grishnag, Star Commander of the 17th Battle Fleet, claim this system in the name of the Targ Totality.  All who hear this transmission must submit, or be destroyed."


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> "It's eight miles long, Captain." Archie reports, "Mass readings off the scale. I estimate the number of cleaning staff required for a vessel of this size to be two hundred and fourteen."




I always enjoy the double entendres, but this archie-ism made me laugh out loud!

Cheers


----------



## dpdx

I bet Fury pulls a "D'oh - did you hear anything? I didn't hear anything."


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 2*

Fury reaches for the communications switch, his first instinct to challenge these intruders in the name of Space Force.

"I do not think that would be wise, Captain." Archie suggests firmly, "The broadcast is on all frequencies.  The vessel does not appear to be aware of our presence."

"How can they not know we're here?" Fury's brow wrinkles manfully, "They're right on top of us!"

"The fact that we are inside Jupiter itself is masking our presence." Archie explains, "Additionally, their sensors are running on passive mode only.  Were they active, I am sure they would find us."

"Damn fool thing for them to come swanning in here claiming the entire system as theirs, and then nor have their sensors up." Fury shakes his head, "It's like putting on a blindfold, walking out your front the door, and yelling that you can beat up anyone in the street."

"It is rather unusual behaviour." Gustav agrees, then frowns, "Unless ..."

"Got a theory, Doc?"

"_Ja_, but I would like more information in order to confirm its truth." Gustav taps a few keys on the console in front of him, "Can we scan zem, Archie?"

"Scanning now." The robot answers.  Diagnostics begin to flash onto the Doctor's screen.

"_Mein Gott!_" Gustav exclaims, "Ze ship is equipped with disruptor arrays!"

"Disruptors?" S'Ondra looks blank.

"They basically disassemble matter." Fury explains, "Space Force experimented with them ... back in the nineties, was it, Doc?"

"_Ja_, and zen banned any furzer experimentation when ze side-effects of ze technology became known."

"Side effects?" It's Fury's turn to look nonplussed.

"As you say, ze disruptors disassemble matter.  Unfortunately, zey do not do zis just at the point of impact, but all along ze beam of ze weapon." Gustav punches a computer simulation up onto each person's console,  It shows an animation of a blocky human figure firing a white beam of energy.  "Each time ze disruptor is fired, it tears a small part of ze space-time continuum.  If enough of zem are fired in ze same area -" the animation fires again and again and again, and suddenly the entire screen turns white, "- ze continuum in zat area will collapse, causing ze annihilation of all matter within ze range of effect - several miles in ze case of a personal weapon.  Much more in ze case of a vessel of zis size."

Fury whistles softly,

"Nasty.  And these 'Targ' have one of these disruptors?"

"Zey have over two hundred of them."

Fury's lips are suddenly a little too dry to whistle.

"Maybe they don't know about the side-effects?" S'Ondra suggests.

"I doubt zat very much, _leibchen_." Gustav shakes his head, "Ze means by which zey arrived was, in essence, a deliberate instance of one of zese singularities.  It appears zey have found some way to pass through ze event horizon, and travel vast distances in ze process."

"So their method of interstellar travel destroys a small part of the universe every time it is used." Archie summarises, "Is that better or worse than misplacing the entire universe?"

Gustav, attention back on the giant vessel, is oblivious to the robot's comment.

"They're heading toward Earth." Fury observes, bringing up a display of the solar system with all nine planets in a nice, evenly spaced row, "Do you want me to follow them, Doc?"

"Can you do so wizzout being spotted?"

"They don't call me the best pilot in Space Force for nothing."

The _Pathfinder_ trails the massive vessel inwards through the solar system.  Fury hangs well back from the Targ ship, and plots his course in such a way that there is always a planet between the smaller craft and the vessel it is tracking.

"Zis will protect us from detection." Gustav explains to S'Ondra, "Because ze _Pathfinder_ is small.  Ze Targ ship is so large, we can still sense it, even with ze planet in ze way."

"It's not how big it is that matters, it's what you do with what you've got." Fury adds.

"Keep telling yourself that, Captain." S'Ondra mutters.  When Fury shoots her a look, she colours a little and says, defensively, "How many disruptors do _we_ have?"

Eventually, the _Pathfinder_ hangs quietly on the dark side of the moon, as the vast Targ ship moves into orbit above the Earth.  Fury feathers the ship's controls lightly, then cuts the engines.

"Now we've got a line of sight on that monstrosity." He magnifies the image on his console screen, though it really isn’t necessary, "But unless he goes to active sensors, he'll never pick us out against the moon."

There is a blast of static from the the _Pathfinder_'s radio once more, and that same harsh, mechanical voice intones: "I, Grishnag, Star Commander of the 17th Battle Fleet, claim this system in the name of the Targ Totality.  All who hear this transmission must submit, or be destroyed."

"Repetitive fellow, isn't he?" Fury observes.

Not surprisingly, there is no answer from the mould-choked planet.

"Something's happening." S'Ondra points at the front of the Targ vessel.  Sure enough, there is a faint glow in the once black aperture at the bow.  Slowly, the glow brightens, then there is a sudden *whump* and giant yellow globule flies out of the ship's nose, and speeds down toward the surface.

"Archie, scan zat please."

"Magnetically-bonded protoplasmic globule.  Mass one point eight tons.  Composition unknown."

The aperture glows again and again, and series of globules follows the first, flashing down toward the Earth.  Each strikes in the England, Scotland or Ireland.

"What are they attacking?" S'Ondra asks, "There's nothing alive down there."

"Zere is _one_ thing." Gustav reminds her.

"A chemical reaction is occurring at the point of impact." Archie announces, "The mould is decomposing, leaving an oily residue.  Now the residue is breaking down ... it's leaving only trace elements.  A fine bit of cleaning."

"How fast is ze reaction occurring?"

"I would estimate that the entire British Isles will be clear within the hour."

"An alien ship turns up, broadcasting in English, yet so confident zat zere will be no threat to it, zat it does not even have active sensors in operation." Gustav muses, "Zen it just happens to have a weapon specifically designed to destroy ze very thing zat annihilated ze civilisation of zis Earth."

"Seems a tad ... convenient." Fury manages to make 'convenient' sound like one of the seven deadly sins.

Gustav nods,

"I zink we haf found ze persons responsible for ze destruction of ze human race in zis reality."

"So what do we do about it?" S'Ondra asks.

"There's only one thing we can do." Fury rises to his feet and puts one hand on his atomic pistol, "We have to find a way to destroy that ship!"


----------



## the Jester

Wow, I decide to check out the tv for once and look how lucky I get- an episode I haven't seen before! 

Yay for the BBC Sci-Fi goodness!


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 3*

"Great plan." S'Ondra snorts, "I'll take the four miles on the left, you take the four miles on the right."

"I do not zink we have ze means to destroy ze alien vessel." Gustav replies in a more agreeable tone, "At least, not in any way zat would not endanger ze entire solar system."

Fury ... well, on anyone else the expression would be 'pouts', but the Captain's too manly for that, so we'll say 'scowls';

"We have to do _something_."

"Indeed." Gustav agrees, "And vat I propose we do is attempt to get aboard ze alien craft, and acquire ze formula for ze compound which zey have used to destroy ze mould.  Zis will allow us to protect our own Earth from ze fate of zis one, when we return home."

"And until then, we can use it to protect the Venusians, here." S'Ondra adds.

Fury nods slowly,

"So the question becomes one of how we get aboard." He frowns, "Even with their sensors on passive, they'll spot the _Pathfinder_ if we get too close.  The only reason they haven't seen us so far is that we've been sticking close to planets.  We can't exactly stroll up and knock on their front door."

"A small craft just launched from the mother ship, and is heading toward the surface." Archie announces.

Fury punches the Targ shuttle up on his display, then zooms back to frame the larger vessel and the Earth in the shot as well.

"The mother ship is in a geo-synchronous orbit." He mutters, "If we wait behind the moon for ... six hours ... they'll be out of sensor arcs to pick us up.  We could fly down to Earth.  But by then the shuttle could have gone anywhere."

"Zey are in geo-synchronous orbit above ze area of ze surface which zey have cleared." Gustav observes, "It seems likely to me zat ze cleared area is where zet intend to land, and vill be ze point from which ze shuttle travels to and from ze larger vessel."

S'Ondra nods fiercely,

"They shall be like the Ortwog, using the same path to the stream every day, and we shall be the hunters, ready to spear them and bring them home for our feast."

"Princess, I like the way you think." Fury puts his hands on his hips, "Let's go spear some Ortwogs!"

The plan is put into effect.  As soon as the enormous Targ vessel slips behind the curve of the Earth, Captain Fury brings all the engines up to full, plunging the _Pathfinder_ down towards the planet's surface.

"We'll come down over India." He announces, over the soft rattle of the ship as it powers forward, engines blazing, "Then fly nape of the earth to England.  As long as we stay below a few hundred feet, there's no way the alien ship will be able to spot us.  Did you get a fix on where our new 'friends' set down, Archie?"

"I have plotted their landing position, Captain." The robot confirms, "And I have identified a suitable location for us to land the _Pathfinder_.  It is an open-face mine about just under two miles from the Targ's position.  The mineral deposits of the region should mask the ship's presence."

The _Pathfinder_ swoops over a brown, mould-covered landscape, then briefly over a wide blue expanse of water,

"The Black Sea." Fury informs the others, "We'll soon be flying over Germany, Doc."

"If only zere vos somebody to whom I could wave." Gustav shakes his head sadly, "Vot monsters are zese Targ, to annihilate anozzer race, like zis?"

"Don't worry, Doctor." S'Ondra pats her foster-father's shoulder, "We'll stop them from doing it again."

"I've got Dover in sight." Fury points through the viewscreen, then lifts the _Pathfinder_'s nose so that it whistles just over the top of the white cliffs.  The ground below the ship is still brown, but this is a deep, earthy shade, not like the washed-out colour of the mould.

"No sign of any remaining mould, or protoplasm." Gustav reports, "A perfect chemical reaction, leaving no residue of either sort.  Quite sophisticated vork, to be used for such barbaric purposes."

The _Pathfinder_ sets down within the rocky bowl of a quarry in Surrey.

"All conditions within one percent of Earth-normal." Gustav  reports, "Levels of nitrogen and carbon are slightly elevated, but all gauges are within ze safe limits."

Archie has also been studying the readings.

"Doctor, I detect a great deal of mud.  I recommend full encounter suits."

"I don't fancy trying to dodge disruptor blasts while in a suit." Fury shakes his head, "If the Doc says it's safe, we go as we are."

"It is safe."

"Except for the alien marauders, anyway." S'Ondra looks quite pleased at the thought. 

"Except for them." Fury doesn't exactly look reluctant to meet the Targ, either. "Doc, you're the only one who's not armed.  If I give you an atomic pistol, do you promise not to disassemble it?"

"_Ja_, of course." Gustav looks wounded, then curious, "Zo it vould be interesting to study ze manner in which ze beam is focussed -"

"Maybe you should just stick close to the rest of us, Doc, and keep your head down if any shooting starts." Fury glances around at the others, "Right, are we all ready?  Then let's go teach these aliens not to mess with our planet."

He strides out, not sparing a backwards look.

"Ze Captain does realise ve are not going to war with zes Targ, _ja_ Archie?"

"I will ensure he remembers, Doctor." The robot chivvies the scientist before him.

S'Ondra brings up the rear, muttering to herself as she walks out of shot,

"It's not _my_ planet."


----------



## Piratecat

Glee!


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 4*

Fury and S'Ondra crouch behind a cluster of small boulders, looking down a long slope to the Targ encampment.  Three dome-like tents form a rough semicircle, while a fourth slowly assembles itself in jerky stop motion.  Several figures are clustered at the opposite end of the camp, surrounding what looks like a machine-gun pit.

"Paranoid bunch." Fury notes, staring through a pair of binoculars, "They've killed everything on the planet, and they're still carrying more firepower than the _Pathfinder_."

"What are they wearing?" S'Ondra shades her eyes.  Unlike Fury, she does not have the benefit of binoculars.

"Some kind of encounter suit, I think." Fury frowns, "It's like one of our spacesuits, but all in black with a tinted visor.  I guess they must be shy."

"So how do we get past them all and onto the shuttle?" S'Ondra asks, gesturing at the blocky vehicle which sits beyond the camp.  As she does so, the shuttle's engines roar into life, and it lifts into the air.

Watching the shuttle zoom off into space, Fury sighs,

"With difficulty."

With the shuttle's departure, one of the Targ still at the camp can be gesturing and pointing.  As he (or possibly she ... or even it) does so, the other Targ break up into small groups.

"Two each going into the tents -" Fury holds his breath

"- and two going on patrol." S'Ondra smiles.  "From the way he was pointing, they'll start out west, then circle clockwise.  If we head north, we can cut them off."

Fury nods his agreement.

"Let's get Archie and the Doc."

The pair both turn, intending to leave, and almost clash heads.  They pause, eyes locked, lips only inches apart.

"Sorry." Fury manages at last, "Ladies first."

S'Ondra gives him her best regal nod, the effect spoiled somewhat by the flushed colour of her face, and quickly scrambles away, crouched at the waist to avoid being seen.

It's a tough job following a beautiful woman in that position, but Fury's the man to do it.

Through the wonders of TV continuity, we cut to the full Q-Ship crew, lurking in ditches on either side of a small dirt track.  S'Ondra and Gustav are one side of the track, while Fury and Archie crouch on the other.

"This is most unsanitary." The robot frets.

"Quiet, or I'll turn you off." Fury points down the track.  "Here they come."

Viewing the Targ up close for the first time, we see that they are indeed dressed in full black body suits.  The basic suits are fairly form-fitting, but the Targ wear bulky helmets and armoured vests over the top of them, while tubing runs from the vest to their gloves and boots.  Both Targ carry black guns with large, diamond-shaped muzzles.

As the Targ pass between the two groups of Q-Shippers, the ambush is sprung.  The scuffle is over quickly: the two aliens are surprised, and when you get hit by a 700 lb. robot, you _stay_ hit.

Still in their encounter suits, the unconscious Targ are bound with steel cables.  After a few minutes, they start to come around,

"What do you think you're doing, Primitive?" the first snarls at Fury, struggling futilely against his bonds.

"I'm the one with the disruptor." Fury hefts the weapon, taken from the two now-helpless Targ, "I'll ask the questions.  Why have you come to this planet?"

"To claim it in the name of the Targ Totality.  All who stand against us will be destroyed -"

"We already heard that speech from your commander." S'Ondra jabs the alien in the chest with the butt of her heat lance, "Did your people send the mould that destroyed this world?"

"Of course."

Fury snarls wordlessly, then gets his feelings under control.  The questioning continues: the crew of the _Pathfinder_ learn that the aliens' suits are fully self-contained environments, providing air for them to breathe, as well as food and water to drink, for up to a week at a time.  Although the two Targ don't know when their shuttle will return, they are confident it will.

"They will bring more of our people, so we can colonise this planet.  There are thousands of warriors aboard the Dreadnought!"

"Do they all fight as badly as you?" S'Ondra asks.

"You will be destroyed!" the Targ replies, "The Totality owns hundreds of planets!  We have dozens of fleets!  Our vessel is the most powerful battle fortress in this system!"

"Only because zere are no ozzer battle fortresses in zis system," Gustav observes, primly.

"Doc, you're not helping." Fury turns back to the aliens. "If you're coming to colonise, does that mean you have women aboard the ship?"

"Women?" the Targ's tone is confused.

"Yes, women." Fury gestures vaguely, "You know the drill.  Boy meets girl.  They love each other very much -"

"Disgusting!" the second alien bursts out, "You mean _breed_?  Like _animals_?"

"I think you'd like it if you tried it." Fury looks smug.

"We're wasting time." S'Ondra quickly tires of Fury's efforts to learn if there are any hot Targ babes. "Let's put two of us in their suits, go back to the camp, and hijack the next shuttle that comes down."


----------



## Fade

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Ze Captain does realise ve are not going to war with zes Targ, _ja_ Archie?"
> 
> "I will ensure he remembers, Doctor." The robot chivvies the scientist before him.
> 
> S'Ondra brings up the rear, muttering to herself as she walks out of shot,
> 
> "It's not _my_ planet."




.


----------



## ledded

Oh, happy HAPPY dance for the update goodness.


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 5*

Gustav and Fury struggle to clip on the last few parts of the Targ encounter suits,

"It vos fascinating to see ze creatures inside ze equipment, _ja_?" the Doctor observes, as he fastens the clip on his collar and picks up one the Targ helmets.

"Oh, absolutely." Fury responds on auto-pilot, frowning thoughtfully as he considers how to don the head gear without getting helmet hair.

"Ze physiological ramifications are astonishing." Gustav is oblivious to Fury's obliviousness as he gingerly tries walking in the suit.  It gives him a splay-gaited waddle, reminiscent of a penguin.

"Uh huh." Fury gingerly dons the helmet, and does his best Targ impersonation, "I am a Targ!  You will be _exterminated_!"

"It is a pity ze insignia and labels on zese suits are in ze Targ's own language." Gustav continues, peering down at the writing on his chest, "Evidently zey were taught to speak English in case zere were any survivors on zis planet, but zey do not to use it amongst zemselves."

"Uh huh." Fury's waddle is less pronounced than Gustav's, but more comical because his stiff-backed posture suggests that the costume is pinching in _all_ the wrong places.  "Wait ... what?"

"I said it is a pity -"

"I got that bit.  What came after it?"

"Zey were taught to speak English, but zey do not to use it amongst zemselves ... " Gustav trails into silence.  "Oh."

"Oh, indeed." Fury says grimly.

"Archie!" Gustav shouts, his voice echoing slightly from inside the encounter suit, "Come here, please!"

The robot calls back from off-screen,

"Princess S'Ondra wishes to know if it is safe for her to uncover her eyes, yet."

"_Ja!_" Gustav shouts.

"Is it safe to uncover _mine_?"

"Archie!" Fury's patience wears thin, "Get your shiny metal carcass over here!"

The robot trundles into shot, giving Fury a reproachful look as he does so.

"What can I do for you, Doctor?" he asks, primly ignoring the Captain.

"Do you still have ze Venusian translator I designed, Archie?"

"Indeed, Doctor." A panel opens on the robot's chest, and he pulls out the small, wire-wrapped contraption Gustav built during the crew's mould-interrupted visit to Venus.

"Excellent." Gustav takes the device and - producing a screwdriver out of one of the pockets in his encounter suit - probes inside, muttering to himself.  After a few moments, he unwraps one of the wires and jams it into a socket inside the robot's chest cavity.

Archie beeps, then shudders for a moment.

"Program loaded." He announces in an uncommonly mechanical voice.  Then he continues, in his more normal tone, "I wish you would warn me before doing that, Doctor.  The wire plugs could have been dirty."

Gustav ignores the complaint,

"Can you detect any Targ radio communications, Archie?"

"Communications detected." The robot confirms, "They are speaking in Targ." His voice changes to the echo-y, mechanical intonation it had before, "Translation algorithms running.  Estimated time to decipher Targ speech: thirty-seven minutes."

"Zere." Gustav tosses the translator back inside Archie's chest, closes the hatch, and claps his hands in satisfaction, "By ze time we reach ze Targ encampment, Archie will be able to understand ze speech of ze aliens and transmit ze translations to us." He taps the radio receptor on his helmet, "Zen we will speak, he will translate to Targ, and beam ze communication to the receivers of ze aliens.  It vill seem as if it is we who are speaking ze words."

"What about reading their writing?"

"Estimated time to decipher Targ alphabet: four hours, eight minutes."

"Zank you, Archie."

"S'Ondra!" Fury waddles out from behind the bushes where the two men have been changing.  The Princess is facing away from him.  She turns, watches Fury walk toward her for a few moments, and struggles - not very hard - to keep from smirking.

"Yes, Captain?" her attempt at a nonchalant tone is spoiled by barely smothered laughter.

"What?" Fury peers down at himself, "Does this make me look fat?"

"No more than usual." S'Ondra manages to school her expression into something resembling seriousness, "Are we ready to go?"

"Almost." Fury nods, "Are the prisoners secure?"

"Tied up with steel cord and hidden out of sight." The Venusian confirms.  She hefts her heat lance. "When do we set out?"

"As soon ..." Fury pauses, "... as soon as you hand over your weapon."

S'Ondra's eyes narrow, her lips curling back in an unconscious snarl,

"A warrior does not simply give up her weapon!" she exclaims, her body tensing as if for battle, "No man has ever taken this lance from me!  And none will, while I still breathe!"

"What about -" Fury belatedly considers whether mentioning Xinthon would be a good idea, and decides not.  He soothes his tone, "I understand how you feel, Princess, but if we're to pretend that you and Archie are our prisoners, you can't be carrying weapons.  I assure you that I will guard your weapon as if it were my own."

The Princess stares at him for a long moment, her face still hard.  Then, slowly, she relaxes her posture.  With obvious reluctance, she nods, and proffers the weapon to Fury,

"Make sure that you do."

The Captain takes the heat lance carefully, and gives her a nod of gratitude.  His reply lacks the tone of cheerful lechery he usually employs when speaking with the Princess.  Instead, it holds only respect,

"You have my word."


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 6*

Fury and Gustav - both still waddling slightly in their unfamiliar suits - enter the Targ camp with the 'captive' S'Ondra and Archie before them.  Fury pretends to keep the two 'prisoners' covered with his disruptor rifle, while Gustav looks in all directions at once, craning his neck to see every last scrap of alien technology.

"There's twelve of them now." Fury mutters.  As he speaks, there is a roar of engines and a shuttle glides down out of the sky, settling on the far side of the camp, "And probably more, in there."

Seeing the strange-looking foursome, one of the Targ strides towards them.  He has red insignia on the shoulders of his suit.  As he moves forward, he holds up a hand for the group to stop.

"Sub-Commander Kilshar, report."

Fury begins to give their prepared response,

"We found -"

The Targ interrupts,

"I was talking to the Sub-Commander, Private." He turns his head to regard Gustav, who gives a bird-like start of surprise as he realises he is being spoken to, "What do you have to report, Kilshar?"

"Ve ... uh ... ve found zese primitives -" Gustav stammers a bit as he tries to remember Fury's detailed lectures on their cover story, "- and took zem prisoner.  Zey surrendered immediately to our Targ might, and did not ambush us at all."

"One of the 'primitives' is a _robot_." The Targ observes.

"_Ja_ ... uh, yes.  But he's not a very good one."

Moving almost imperceptibly, Fury adjusts his disruptor so that it is centred on the inquisitive Targ.  He senses S'Ondra tense for action, and takes a half-step closer to her, so that she will have the heat lance he carries within arm's reach.

"The Earthlings had no such technology when we deployed the mould." The Targ's doubt is clear.

"Zey made significant technological developments vhile attempting to stop our great weapon." Gustav ad libs, "As zey would haf to do to survive zis long."

The Targ nods,

"A valid point, Sub-Commander.  Very well, take these two to the command ship for brain probes and evisceration.  I will detail additional patrols to sweep the area, as it appears these Earthlings were more resourceful than expected."

"You are certainly correct about zat, Sir." Gustav agrees.  S'Ondra chokes a laugh with a faked cough. "But zese prisoners tell us zat zey haf seen no ozzer humans for several years."

"A brain probe will learn if that is the truth, soon enough." The Targ points toward the shuttle, "Take them up to the command ship, Kilshar."

Prodding S'Ondra and Archie forward, Fury and Gustav make their way to the shuttle.  A gleaming silver ramp provides entrance into the stark grey interior.  The bulk of the shuttle is given over to an cabin area with about twenty black seats set into it.  There are also doors leading forward - probably onto the flight deck - and to the rear.

Speakers in the shuttle walls blare into life,

"This is the pilot.  Secure the prisoners in the storage compartments, then strap yourself in.  We're scheduled to lift off in eight <I>nintrons</I>."

Gustav glances at Archie, seeking a translation for 'nintrons'.  The robot shrugs.

"This way, alien scum." Fury gestures with his disruptor at the rearward doors, desperately hoping that the Targ structure their vehicles in the same way as Space Force.  It would be difficult to explain how they didn't know the layout of their own shuttle.

The Captain's guess proves correct, however, and he and Gustav soon locate a featureless metal room, into which they heard S'Ondra and Archie.

"Stay here until we come to fetch you." Fury whispers urgently to the two 'prisoners'. "And try to look scared, in case they're watching you."

"I do not have expressions." Archie reminds him.

"Look, just stand there and don't clean anything."

"The Targ are my enemies.  I see no reason to protect them from the ravages of insidious germs."

With a despairing shake of his head, Fury herds Gustav out of the room and hurries to get belted into his seat before take-off.

As the door closes, Archie turns to S'Ondra,

"Would you care for some travelling music?" he enquires, "I find the soothing tones of Cliff Richard to be most suitable for times of incarceration."


----------



## robberbaron

I didn't realise Archie was programmed for cruelty.


----------



## arwink

I don't remember offering to play Cliff Richard.

Everyone knows that the Girl from Impemina is the only song to play when boarding an enemy spacecraft in disguise.


----------



## Plane Sailing

arwink said:
			
		

> I don't remember offering to play Cliff Richard.




Memory failure? Maybe your contacts got dirty


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 7*

"Are we zere yet?"

"Not to my knowledge." Fury answers in the tone of the long-suffering, "The Targ seem to have left that out of our in-flight programming."

"Zey seem to have left ze in-flight programming out of our in-flight programming!"

"Exactly -" the Captain is interrupted by a loud *CLUNK*.  The ship shudders, and then the whine of the engines dies out.

"Haf we arrived?"

"Either that, or the whole ship is dead in space."

The shuttle's speaker system crackles, and a stream of Targ speech bursts out of it.

"Got any ideas what that was about, Doc?"

"_Nein_."

"That many?" Fury unclips his seatbelt and stands slowly.  Picking up the disruptor from where it was clipped to his seat, he turns to the Doctor, "Act casual.  I'm going to go get Archie and S'Ondra."

Leaving Gustav, the Captain retrieves the others from confinement.

"Did you hear that announcement a couple of minutes ago?" he asks Archie, under a show of prodding the robot ahead with his disruptor.

"Indeed.  You were instructed to escort us to examination room M-63K, for interrogation and vivisection."

"Any idea how to get there?"

"None."

Fury shrugs,

"Probably best not to do it, anyway."

"You think?" S'Ondra rolls her eyes.

Returning to the main bay, the trio find that the doors have opened, revealing an immense hangar.  Dozens of shuttles can be seen, stretching off into the distance.  One wall of the hangar appears open to space, and the _Pathfinder_'s crew find themselves looking out onto the blue-and-brown globe of the Earth.

"Shouldn't we all be screaming and asphyxiating, right now?" S'Ondra asks.

"I don't breather, Princess." Archie reminds her, "Though I can scream if you wish."

"A disruptor-based force field.  Fascinating!" Gustav claps his hands together, "Old Einkleiven at the university insisted it was impossible, but theoretically -"

"Theoretically we're going to get found out and shot if we hang around here gawking at things." Fury gets everyone's minds back on track.  Or at least near the track.  Snatching up a clipboard from where it rests on a nearby oil-drum, he points at a distant door on the hangar's far wall. "This way."

The foursome march across the hangar, Fury at the front with clipboard held before him, randomly making notations on the paper as he goes.

"What are you doing?" S'Ondra hisses, perplexed by this strange behaviour.

"No-one ever stops a man with a clipboard: they just assume he has a right to be there." Fury makes several especially vigorous notations as he replies, "It's an old trick I learned at Space Force Academy."

"Why would they teach zat at ze Academy?" Gustav is perplexed.

"They didn't." S'Ondra glowers, "Let me guess - segregated bedrooms, Commander?"

Fury appears entirely engrossed in his notations.

Emerging through the hangar door, the group finds themselves in a long, white-washed corridor, with dozens of doors leading of it.

"So, if I vere an eight mile spaceship, vere would I keep my scientific laboratory?" Gustav muses.

"Perhaps, Doctor, I could patch into the ship's systems and acquire a schematic?" Archie suggests.

"Where can we go to get you access?" Fury asks, taking furtive glances around over the top of his clipboard.

"The third room ahead on the left has several electrical conduits leading into it, and appears to be uninhabited." Archie trundles forward and opens the door.  "Yes, there is a panel here: I can use it to access the ship's systems."

Quickly, all four intruders scurry into the room.  Fury keeps the door fractionally open, peering down the corridor through the narrow crack.  Gustav opens Archie's chest and begins attaching wires and leads to a computer console in the wall.  S'Ondra stands in the corner, clutching her heat lance like it was a long lost child.

"Accessing systems." Archie announces, "Targ translation algorithms complete.  Systems accessed.  State your request."

"How do we blow it up?" Fury has a big bang fetish, "Is there a self-destruct?"

"No self-destruct mechanism on file."

"What about escape pods?" S'Ondra wants to know, "We'll need to get off this thing, at some point."

"No escape mechanisms on file." Archie pauses, and there is a sound like a whirring of tape, "Review of Targ regulations indicate that loss of the ship will be punished by the deaths of all crew."

"Nice." Fury makes a sour face, "We can use one of the shuttles when we leave.  Can you access the ship's logs?  If anything important comes up, the Captain will put it in there."

"Logs accessed." Archie whirrs again, "Last entry is a notation of the annexation of this solar system into the Targ Totality."

"We’ll see about _that_." Fury promises.

"Can you find us ze way to ze scientific laboratories?" Gustav asks Archie, "Zis is where we will be finding the means to neutralise ze space mould, and protect our own Earth from ze Targ."

"Route computed."  Archie speeds off, pulling his various leads and wires out of the console.  They trail on the floor behind him like tin cans behind the wedding couple's car.

"Follow zat robot!"


----------



## Fade

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Accessing systems." Archie announces, "Targ translation algorithms complete.  Systems accessed.  State your request."
> 
> "How do we blow it up?" Fury has a big bang fetish, "Is there a self-destruct?"




That's our captain. Straight to the point.

It occurs to me that if all the disruptor cannon fired at once it would do that 'rip open space-time' thing and destroy the ship.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Hey, Cap - don't forget to update the date in the thread title - I nearly missed this episode!


----------



## Capellan

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> Hey, Cap - don't forget to update the date in the thread title - I nearly missed this episode!




Oops.

I blame the 27 hour plane flight.  Even though it didn't happen until 2 days after I posted.


----------



## Hatchling Dragon

So, is the next installment being held back purposfully so that you can gift wrap it and deliver it in a large red sleigh or something?

I come back after a _very_ long absense and find so much updatee goodness.  This, of course, followed quickly by withdrawl as I was all too soon caught up once again.

Hatchling Dragon


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> Oops.
> 
> I blame the 27 hour plane flight.  Even though it didn't happen until 2 days after I posted.




Did you fly across the international date line? It can do spooky things like that. I visited Oz just after Christmas 2001 and regrettably did not exist on Dec 27th. I took off on Dec 26th in the UK, crossed the US, crossed the Pacific and in 22hrs landed in Oz on the 28th Dec.

Goodness knows what would have happened if someone had tried to contact me on the 27th. Space-time implosion I guess.


----------



## Capellan

Hatchling Dragon said:
			
		

> So, is the next installment being held back purposfully so that you can gift wrap it and deliver it in a large red sleigh or something?




There will be an update in the next 48 hours.  After that, there'll be one a week until at least mid-late January.  Might be able to go back to 2 a week after that -- we'll see


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 8*

Fury and Gustav remove their helmets as they and S'Ondra follow the lumbering Archie.

"It is good to breathe fresh air again." Gustav inhales mightily.

"We're on a spaceship, Doc, it can't be all that fresh." Fury reminds him, "But it is nice to be out of that helmet."  He unconsciously touches his hair.

The four space adventurers head down a series of plain, featureless metal corridors, strangely reminiscent of those from Xinthon's tomb.

"This way." Archie intones as they reach an intersection, then abruptly halts and holds up a hand, "Wait."

There is a momentary confusion of limbs as the group tries to follow two different sets of directions at once.  The Archie sweeps his arms out and herds all three of his companions backward.  Moments later, a group of Targ walk past the intersection.

After the aliens are out of sight, Fury spares a stern look for Archie,

"How about a little more warning next time, old boy?"

Archie, mentally cataloguing the cleaning processes he will require after touching two humans and a Venusian, makes no reply.

Eventually, the group enters a corridor with several steel doors leading off on one side.  Each door is emblazoned with a yellow and black symbol, similar to that of a radiation warning.  The signs have lettering below them.

"These are the science laboratories." Archie indicates the doors with a motion of his arm.

"Ve must attempt to gain access to ze formula for ze mould antidote." Gustav peers down the hallway, "Are any of zese rooms unoccupied?"

"The ship's sensors indicate that all laboratories are in use." Archie has plugged himself into another wall panel, "Laboratory Three has the fewest occupants."

"Which one would that be, old boy?" Fury gestures at the - too him - incomprehensible Targ lettering.

"Number three is the third one along." The lack of inflection in Archie's tone speaks volumes.

"It _might_ not have been." Fury grumbles, "They might have started numbering from the other end, or something." He frowns manfully, "In any case, the important question now is how to get them out of that laboratory."

He turns to Gustav,

"Doc, you're the one with rank on his chest.  You'll have to go in and tell them to leave."

"Zat should present no trouble." Gustav claps his hands together and then jams his helmet on his head.  His voice is muffled as he continues, "Often I have had to make my assistants leave ze lab.  Zis will no doubt be little different."

"No doubt." Fury's tone makes it clear he is reconsidering the wisdom of this strategy, but Gustav is already striding forward.  The door glides open as he approaches, and the plucky German Scientist (and how many of _those_ are there in popular entertainment?) steps through.

The laboratory is a spacious chamber.  In the centre of the far wall is a massive glass tube, easily ten feet in height and more than half that in diameter.  The tube glows with an eerie light, which reflects off the walls and gives them a rather unhealthy greenish cast.  Within the tube is an ugly, fearsome-looking creature, possibly reptilian or amphibian in nature.  It has a broad head with a slightly beak-like mouth and thick, powerful arms that end in heavy claws.

A pair of computer banks face the tube, and an encounter-suited Targ stands at each.  The only visible difference between them and the Doctor is that the insignias on their uniforms are blue, rather than red.

"_Achtung_!" the Doctor announces, with only the slightest tremor in his voice, "Zere has been a containment leak in zis room and you must depart immediately, wizzout delay or question.  Hear me and obey, for we are ze Targ Totality, and follow ze orders we get wizzout question.  _Seig Heil_!"

Outside the door, there is a _thunk_ as Fury starts softly banging his head against the wall.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> The four space adventurers head down a series of plain, featureless metal corridors, strangely reminiscent of those from Xinthon's tomb.




The famous BBC thriftyness at work again, methinks!

(such little observational gems give it the _verite _it needs )


----------



## the Jester

This show is great.  It's the only thing I watch regularly.


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 9*

The two Targ turn at stare at Gustav.  Even though their expressions are concealed by their encounter suits, they manage to convey an air of utter bewilderment.

"What are you talking about?" one of them demands at last, "We're in the middle of a very delicate experiment, here.  The slightest disturbance could -"

S'Ondra has seen enough.  This 'subtlety' thing has gone on long enough, in her opinion.  With a shout of glee, she leaps through the open door and levels her heat lance at the two aliens.  A blast of super-heated energy flashes from the tip of the lance, causing one of the computer consoles to explode in a shower of white sparks.

"Careful, Princess!" Fury strides into the room, helmet still doffed to expose his chiselled good looks. "We need the information in those computers!"

Finally reacting to the attack, one of the Targ lunges toward a large red button on the console behind him.  Fury immediately snaps off a shot, but the alien moves too quickly, slapping the button with the flat of his hand.  Klaxons begin to wail.

"Looks like you need some practice handling your pistol, Captain."

"You want to handle it for me, Princess?"

The green tube at the far side of the room explodes in a shower of heavy glass shards.  Roaring and bellowing, the imprisoned creature bursts out.  Massive talons tear the metal wall like it was aluminium foil, and the beast charges out of sight, leaving only a ragged hole in the bulkhead as sign of its passing.

"What vas zat thing?"

"Who cares, Doc?  It's the Targ's problem, now!"

Outside the room, Archie pulls a panel from the wall and plugs directly into the exposed circuitry within.

"Accessing security systems." He intones, and suddenly the blare of klaxons fades, "Alarm re-routed to main power plant on deck fourteen.  Disabling all further alarms in this section."

The two unarmed Targ scientists are quickly overpowered.

"Talk!" S'Ondra jabs one of them in the stomach with the butt of her heat lance, "Tell us about the space mould!"

"What do you want to know?" the Targ shrugs his shoulders in confusion, "It's a molecular protein with multiple state DNA -"

"Fascinating." Gustav interrupts, "Zat would require very sophisticated genetic engineering.  How did you overcome ze problem of polymal-state infusion?"

"Save the science fair talk for later, Doc." Fury isn't interested in any kind of genetic engineering except the kind that couples do in private. "We need everything they know about the antidote."

Gustav reluctantly nods his agreement.

"Archie!" he calls, "Ve need you to access ze computer consoles here and copy all ze information on ze protoplasm zat is used to destroy the mould."

"Very well, Doctor." Archie enters the laboratory, fastidiously closing the door behind him.  "I shall require a few minutes."

"Get details of their fleet while you're at it." Fury directs, "And check their logs for any further updates.  And make sure no-one is coming here.  And maybe you should set off another alarm somewhere in the ship.  That'll keep them busy."

Archie pauses,

"Is there anything else, Captain?"

"No, that should do it."  Sensing sarcasm is not Fury's strongest skill.

As Archie begins to access the computers, the others turn their attention to the remains of the green tube.

"What was that thing?" S'Ondra demands.

"A Shintrak." One of the Targ replies, "It's native to planet EK27-B."

"What did you want it for?"

The Targ glance at each other, but remain silent.

"The lady asked a question." Fury none too subtly puts his hand on his atomic pistol.

"We are working on a behaviour modification device." One of the scientists reluctantly explains, "Something to allow us to control the creature."

"How did you plan to do zis?"

"A creature's reactions are controlled by the impulses to and from their nerve cortex.  We were working on a device that would allow us to transmit those impulses.  We were just about to install it when you burst in.  You've ruined an important experiment, and the creature will almost certainly be destroyed."

"It's probably better off destroyed than with you in its head." S'Ondra observes.

"I have the information on the protoplasm." Archie reports, "I have also located data on the Targ fleet.  I will display it on the main screen."

A large monitor comes alive, and reams of text begins to scroll upward.

"Is there a concise version, Archie?" Fury waves his hand at the screen, "Numbers of vessels by class, that sort of thing?"

The scroll of data stops.  Then the screen clears, and new text appears.  Fury mutters a curse,

"Over seventy vessels of this class?  How big is the Totality?"

"More than large enough to destroy you, alien!" The scientist rejoins.

"This is _my_ solar system." Fury reminds the Targ, "You're the alien, here."

"Captain, a ship-wide alert has been raised." Archie is still plugged into the computer console, "Targ forces have discovered the _Pathfinder_."


----------



## Fade

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Captain, a ship-wide alert has been raised." Archie is still plugged into the computer console, "Targ forces have discovered the _Pathfinder_."




*Dun dun dun!*


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 10*

"I think I need to sit down." Fury has an ashen look on his face.

"Zere may not be cause for alarm, Captain." Gustav soothes.  He turns to the captured Targ scientists, "What will your people do with the vessel?"

"It will be brought here for disassembly and study."

"Oh, no cause for alarm _at all_." Fury covers his eyes with his hand, "Do the records say where they'll take her, Archie?"

"She's scheduled to arrive in Hangar D in twenty minutes, Captain."

"Right, then we need to get there in twenty-one." Fury's all business, now that his true love of is at risk. "Have we got everything we need about the mould."

"Ve do.  It is all in ze electronic brain of Archie, here." Gustav slaps the robot's metallic shoulder.

"What do we do after we get the _Pathfinder_?" S'Ondra wants to know, "Do we stay here, or use the Q-Drive to look for a universe with more humans and fewer alien invaders?"

"How about one filled with Venusian slave-girls?" Fury suggests.

"Based on ze fauna of Venus, zey would probably be carnivorous and eat zere mates." Gustav chortles a little at his own joke.

"I'll just send you first, Doc."

"I zink I'm a bit old for zat, Captain."

"Don't worry, it's just like riding a bike."

Gustav looks perplexed,

"Vere are ze pedals?"

"There has been an update to the ship's records." Archie interrupts, "The Targ have discovered signs of intelligent life on the second planet of the system."

"On Venus?  In _this_ universe?" Fury raises an eyebrow, "What kind of sensors are they using?"

S'Ondra flushes angrily, but Archie speaks before she can attempt to verbally castrate the Captain.

"Apparently they have detected the organised use of fire on the planet, Captain."

"Ha!" the Princess points an accusing finger at Fury, "And who gave my people fire?  This is your fault, you and your delusions of god-hood."

Fury rubs his temples in a manner that suggests an incipient migraine,

"Look, first we have to get off this ship." He says, in the most reasonable tones he can muster, "Then we can try to help the Venusians ... but the first question is how we can fly out of here without getting blown out of the sky.  Archie, is there any chance you could disable the Targ ship's weapon systems?"

"Unfortunately not, Captain.  Each turret is on an individual circuit  I would have to disable each of them individually, and as soon as I began the Targ would start to investigate the cause."

"Damnation!" Fury pounds his fist into his hand. "Even _I_ can't fly out from under the nose of two hundred guns."

"Actually Captain, I believe you can." The optimistic lights are glowing within Archie's head, "The individual circuits allow weapons to keep firing until the entire vessel suffers catastrophic damage, but it significantly increases their initial response time to targets."

"How significantly?" Fury looks unconvinced.

"Unknown." Archie admits, "However, Targ circuitry appears substantially less sophisticated than our own.  I believe we would have a measurable chance of survival if we leave the Targ vessel at maximum acceleration and make directly for the surface.  The Targ sensors will find it difficult to target us due to the cover of the planet."

"Anyone else got any better ideas?"

S'Ondra and Gustav exchange a look.  The Doctor shakes his head,

"I do not zink we have any ozzer option."

The Princess has meanwhile turned her attention to the Targ captives,

"You there!" she barks at the taller of the two, "What will your people do to the Venusians?"

The Targ shrugs,

"They will probably be conquered as used as slaves.  Aliens of limited intelligence and development make a useful labour force.  We will identify and execute the leaders and intellectuals - such as they are - and breed the rest as slave stock."

"Breed?" Fury's ears prick up at the topic, "You know about breeding?  We had to explain it to your soldiers, and even then they thought it was disgusting."

"It _is_ disgusting." The Targ says primly, "But how else would _animals_ breed?"  He yelps in fright as S'Ondra half-lunges at him, a guttural growl coming from her lips.

"Ignore him, Princess." Fury advises, "He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about."

S'Ondra growls again, glaring at the still-quailing scientist, then stiffly turns away from him, her face grim and angry.  Clenching her fists around her heat lance, she strides toward the door.

"Let's get to that Hangar."


----------



## jezter6

Awesome! Can't wait for the next one


----------



## the Jester

jezter6 said:
			
		

> ...




_Damn_ but there are a lot of jester types here.


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 11*

"Wait, Princess." Fury holds up a hand to delay S'Ondra.  She stops, scowling.

"What is it now?"

"Before we leave, I think the Doc and I should swap outfits." Fury gestures at the Targ encounter suit he is wearing.

"Is this really the moment for sartorial concerns, Captain?" Archie enquires.

"The Doc has the officer's uniform." Fury explains, "If we want to get past the guards at the hangar, it's probably better if I do the talking, which means I need to be the officer."

"Do you not believe zat I could do ze job?"

To his credit, the Captain refrains from mentioning Gustav's attempt to bluff the scientists.

"They'll be military types, Doc.  As a member of Space Force, I've got the best chance of talking like one of them."

"I have no doubt the Captain will make a very convincing alien thug." Archie offers.  He turns his head toward their Targ captives, "Should we also take one of the scientists with us?"

"You don't need a pet." Fury replies as he strips out of his encounter suit, the muscles of his broad chest rippling as he moves. "Besides, where would we keep it?"

"We could make him a hood ornament." S'Ondra mutters darkly.

"I zink it is best if we leave zem." Gustav's voice is muffled by the encounter suit, which is pulled halfway over his head, but now seems to have become stuck.  He twists and turns, hands pulling futilely at the fabric.  S'Ondra sighs and walks over, yanking the suit clean off him. "Ah, zank you, _leibchen_." Gustav gives her a nod, then scratches his grey-haired chest in satisfaction, "Zank goodness I am out of zat suit.  I had an itch that was driving me crazy."

"Don't get used to it, Doc.  You have to put this on." Fury shoves his suit at Gustav, then accepts the older man's suit from S'Ondra.  He gives her a suggestive grin, "Will you help me get out of my suit later, Princess?"

"Not even in your dreams, Captain." She returns, frostily.

Eventually, the four space adventurers set off toward the hangar, once more under Archie's guidance.

"The ship schematics show that we should follow this corridor to the end, then descend two floors." The robot announces as they leave.  The two Targ scientists, gagged and bound, glare impotently at them as the laboratory door closes.

"Then what?" Fury asks.

"Then we take the corridor left -" Archie's directions continue over a montage of the _Pathfinder_ crew hurrying through the Targ ship, "- turn right at the third intersection, continue for two hundred yards, and descend another three floors.  After that, we simply go right for eighty yards, turn left -"

We settle back to the crew as they stand before a broad, white door.

"- and there we are." The robot finishes in satisfaction.

"Good show, Archie." Fury unclips the weapon at his side, "Alright folks, I'm going to try and get us past the guards without a fight.  If it works, we'll get on the ship, fire her up, and fly out of here before anyone knows what we're doing."

"And if it doesn't vork?" Gustav asks.

"Then we shoot them." Fury shrugs.

"Works for me." S'Ondra sounds positively eager.

Fury leads the way into the hangar, striding purposefully with his chest thrown out.  Ignoring the Targ who are working in the area, he heads straight toward the _Pathfinder_.  The other three trail behind him, Gustav at the rear.

"You there!" one of the Targ notices the newcomers, "What are you doing here?"

Fury snaps off a rapid fire salute and keeps walking as he throws back his answer,

"We've been ordered to bring the alien prisoners to the ship and make them explain its faculties."

Hurrying after the quartet, the Targ steps in front of the Captain.  Fury skids to a reluctant halt, just short of a collision.

"What's your authorisation code?" the Targ demands.

Fury doesn't even blink (not that we could tell, what with the face mask he's wearing)

"Authorisation Code Five Two Alpha Six Charlie Niner."

The Targ officer - the large rank insignia on his suit can only mean he's some kind of commander - begins to step aside.  Then he pauses, pointing at the Princess.

"Why is that alien armed?"

"Oh, the hell with this." S'Ondra snaps her heat lance into firing position and blasts the Targ off his feet with a single well-placed shot.

Bedlam ensues.


----------



## the Jester

Hurray for bedlam!


----------



## arwink

Easy for you to say....


----------



## Zaruthustran

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Oh, the hell with this." S'Ondra snaps her heat lance into firing position and blasts the Targ off his feet with a single well-placed shot.
> 
> Bedlam ensues.





_DUN Dun- BLAM! _


----------



## ragboy

*Anyone have the torrent of the latest episode?*

TV's on the fritz, and I lost my copy in a computer crash... Dang technology. 

PS: Story hour is among the top ten that I've read here. Keep up the great work!


----------



## Capellan

No updates this week - I can't get access to the 'net long enough to write and post them (long story involving misunderstandings with the landlord).  I'll write an update this weekend, but no guarantees on when I can post it.

In the mean time: Go Buy My Stuff!


----------



## Blood Jester

*Happy Birthday!!!*

From myself, Monsoon, PC, and KidCthulu...

Have a *Happy Birthday*


----------



## KidCthulhu

How did you like your first blizzard, Cap?  Still sure you want to stay in Boston, or is Australian Summer looking pretty good right about now?


----------



## Capellan

The rumours of my birthday are erroneous ... Kevin got some bad leads from his snitch.  As for Boston weather ... I can cope 

The next update was made possible by PirateCat and KidCthulhu's gracious agreement to let me use their computer, so many thanks to them!


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 12*

Fury reacts first, throwing the disruptor he carries into the face of the nearest Targ, then snatching out his atomic pistol.  The Targ, surprised and staggered by the sudden assault, never gets a chance to recover.  Fury's shot blasts him in the chest, and the second alien falls.

There are many more Targ in the hangar, however, and the metal deck reverberates from the pounding of their running feet.  Four of them race into sight from behind the _Pathfinder_, levelling disruptors as they come.

"Deploying plasma burners." Archie steps forward, and a massive gout of fire rolls forth, completely filling the screen.  Shouts of pain and alarm rise above the roar of the flames, and when the fire clears, all that remains are smoking bodies upon the ground.

"_Mein Gott_!  Watch out, Archie!"

One of the hangar's enormous loading cranes grinds into action, a Targ technician at the controls.  The metal arm swings almost lazily, trailing a huge iron hook on the end of a long chain.  Slow it may be, but the hook's mass gives it great power and momentum.  It strikes Archie in the shoulder, and sparks fly as the robot staggers, his metal skin buckled and torn by the force of the blow.

Two more Targ rush toward Gustav and S'Ondra.  The Princess whirls, leg sweeping up to knock one of the aliens from his feet.  She spins her heat lance as he falls, then drives the point downwards, impaling him to the ground.

"Leave my _leibchen_ alone!" Gustav warns - somewhat unnecessarily.  Screwing his face up in what he undoubtedly thinks is a mask of rage, he hammers at the second Targ with an iron wrench.  Even wielded by an elderly scientist, ten pounds of metal in the face can seriously ruin your day, and the alien warrior staggers back, trying to wrestle his disruptor free for a shot at Gustav.

The crane's movement reverses, the hook starting to swing back toward Archie.

"Not this time, my friend."  Fury snaps his atomic pistol up, cradling it in both hands as he sights along the barrel.  The weapon's energy bolt flies right between the gap in the crane's superstructure, and the Targ technician tumbles out of his seat. "That robot's under Space Force protect - _ooph_!"

A Targ soldier appears out of nowhere, barrelling into the Captain and knocking him from his feet.  The two men tumble to the ground, wrestling.  The Targ gets his hands around Fury's throat and starts squeezing.

"I shall assist you, Captain." Archie wheels to face the melee.  And then he stops, as a new sound reverberates through the hangar.

*CLANG.*

*CLANG.*

*CLANG.*

Like the toll of a huge bronze bell, it shakes them all as they stand, the very floor trembling with each booming impact.  A shadow looms from behind the _Pathfinder_, sweeping over Archie.  The robot turns, plasma burners whining into readiness and gouts of flames leap out once more, consuming all in sight.

And then a dark shape looms out of the fire, and a massive automaton bursts into shot.  Its body is charred and blackened, but it seems entirely unharmed by the superheated plasma boiling around it.  Steam hisses from its joints as it sweeps its arms high and brings them slamming down on Archie's chest.

The automaton stands fully ten feet all, and some six feet broad.  Its hands are huge, with serrated fingers designed to rend metal like paper.  It could demolish a vessel like the _Pathfinder_ within minutes, and right now, all of its attention is on Archie.

The smaller robot staggers back from the blow, a metal panel tearing lose from his shoulder.  His larger foe follows, claw-like iron hands digging into Archie's upper torso.  There is a squeal of tortured metal as the entire chest plate tears free, exposing the gears and wiring that are Archie's bones and nerves.

Fury, red-faced and gasping for air, slams the butt of his atomic pistol into the face of the Targ who grips his throat.  The alien slumps back, and the Captain rolls shakily to his knees.  He raises the pistol to fire on the automaton, but can't get a clear shot.  He calls out, hoarsely:

"Archie, get away from that thing!"

"I'm trying, Captain, but he seems most reluctant to let go." Archie hammers his fists against the automaton's massive metal arms.  The blows dent and scratch the heavy metal plates, but do nothing to shake the other robot's grip.

"Damnation." Fury snaps his pistol back into its holster and turns to run toward the crane.

As he does so, Gustav's reeling Targ finally pushes the Doctor away long enough to swing his disruptor into line.  The black and ugly snout points right at Gustav's face as the weapon flares to life.

"_Father_!" S'Ondra pushes Gustav aside, knocking him from his feet.  The Doctor will have a few bruises in the morning from the sudden tumble, but he is out of the way of the blast.

S'Ondra is not so lucky: she gasps, and staggers, then falls to her knees.  The butt of her heat lance scrapes against the ground as she tries to prop herself up, and we at last see the blackened flesh where the disruptor blast struck her stomach.  She clasps a hand over the wound, but blood immediately begins to seep between her fingers.

"Princess!" Fury's call is anguished.

The Targ raises his disruptor, ready to finish what he has begun.  The shot tightens on his finger as it curls toward the weapon's firing stud.

And then suddenly that finger spasms, and relaxes.

We sweep back into a medium shot, and once more see the Targ as he stands over S'Ondra.  But now there is a heat lance driven clear through his chest.  S'Ondra grips it in one white-knuckled fist as she stares up at him, her eyes fiery and defiant.  Slowly, one hand still clasped over her wound, she staggers to her feet.

"Venusians do not die so easily." The Princess snarls to the stricken Targ.  Placing her bloodied hand against his chest, she tears the heat lance free, and the alien falls silently to the floor.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Cap, I'm getting worried... this is _tense_.

Good writing.


----------



## Piratecat

> and the alien falls silently to the floor.



It'll be okay; aliens make lousy carpets. Unlike a polarbear or a lion, you never see half-naked women sprawling before fireplaces on alien-skin rugs.

The downloads section came back up, and the first thing I did is download the collected first season of Q-Ship to reread at my leisure.


----------



## Nephis

wait!  i'm confused:  when i first read the update, i assumed that the "alien" was the targ.  now reading pc's comment, i realize that in (or near) earth's atmosphere, both the targ and venusian are aliens.  ack!  which one "falls silently to the floor"?


----------



## Piratecat

I'm sure it's the Targ.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Besides, S'Ondra IS the half naked woman. She's the one who sprawls in front of the fireplaces


----------



## arwink

Piratecat said:
			
		

> I'm sure it's the Targ.




Definately.  If it were Sondra, there would have been an added comment about the skimpy state of her costume being in dissarray.


----------



## Fade

Piratecat said:
			
		

> It'll be okay; aliens make lousy carpets. Unlike a polarbear or a lion, you never see half-naked women sprawling before fireplaces on alien-skin rugs.




What about Space Bear and Mars Lion skin rugs?


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 13*

Fury resumes his sprint toward the crane, vaulting up the stairs toward the control box.  Back on the floor of the hangar, Archie continues to strain against the more powerful Targ automaton.  Sparks fly from the smaller robot's chest as the larger machine digs its talons further into Archie's metal chest plate.

"Archie!" Gustav catches sight of the struggling robots, "Ve have to help him!"

"We will." S'Ondra promises, as she assists the Doctor to his feet, "Are you alright?"

"I am fine." Gustav squints at her, then gasps as he notices her injury, "You are wounded!"

"It's nothing." S'Ondra shrugs it off, "Can you get to the _Pathfinder_ and make sure she's ready for launch?  I'll help Archie."

Gustav nods and runs across the hangar, disappearing up the silver ramp into the ship's interior.  S'Ondra turns and sights her heat lance on the robot melee.  The ruby energy bolt lances across the open space and scorches the automaton's head, but the machine's only reaction it to deliver another crushing blow to Archie's chest.

"I require assist_ixzzzzt_." Archie's speech synthesisers fail under the unceasing battery of the automaton's fists.  He ignites another burst of his plasma burners, the point blank blast blistering the metal of his opponent's skin.  The other robot's blows continue unabated.

Fury slams the controls of the crane into reverse and the heavy hook swings back across the hangar, building speed and momentum as it comes.  It careens toward the two struggling robots, striking a glancing blow on the shoulder of the automaton.

Red lights flare on Archie's head as the Targ machine plunges a fist deep into his chest.  The armoured plates on Archie's torso finally fail completely, splintering inwards as the serrated fist of the automaton punches inside, smashing gears, shattering valves, and tearing wires.

Archie's lights flicker, flare brightly once more, and then dim.

With a crash of metal on metal, his shattered body falls to the ground.

"Archie!" S'Ondra shouts, her heels echoing on the floor as she races across the hangar.  With a shout of rage, she slams the point of her heat lance deep into the automaton's side.  The diamond-hard tip cuts easily through the Targ machine, and sparks fly from the point of impact.  The Princess wrenches the heat lance free, and smoke spills from the gash in the robot's side.

The automaton is far from disabled, however.  It turns, raising its fists to smash S'Ondra to the ground -

- and the crane's hook slams into its chest.

The hook punctures the robot's skin, snaring itself in the metal plates.  The robot is staggered backwards, then lifted right off its feet as Fury activates the winch.  The hook's chain rattles across pulleys as the automaton is raised helplessly into the air.

"Ze _Pathfinder_ is fully operable and ready for action." The Doctor's voice booms out from the ship's loudspeakers, "Ze Targ did not have time to begin dismantling her."

"Father!" S'Ondra screams for Gustav as she falls to her knees beside Archie's fallen body. "Help!"

Both Gustav and Fury are at her side within seconds.

"What can you tell us, Doc?" the Captain fiddles nervously with his atomic pistol, expression tense as he looks down on the fallen robot.

"Archie's body is destroyed." Gustav shakes his head, "All power generation systems are disabled.  His brain still has a charge, but zat will soon expire ... and zen, so will he."

"Is there anything you can do?" S'Ondra's voice catches as she asks the question.

"_Ja_ - maybe." Gustav produces a screwdriver from inside his Targ encounter suit and begins working to prise Archie's head away from his ruined torso.

"Better hurry, Doc."

"I am going as fast as I can, Captain.  Trust me, I want to save Archie as much as you."

"It's not just that, Doc." Fury cups a hand to his ear, and in the silence that follows, the thunder of running feet can dimly be heard, "Things are about to get _very_ hot here."

Gustav nods, working feverishly as S'Ondra and Fury step in front of him, levelling their weapons at the steel door.  Seconds tick by, slowly, as the thunder of the onrushing Targ grows ever more near.

"_Doc_."

"Nearly zere, Captain.  Nearly ..." Gustav makes several quick more adjustments with his screwdriver, "_Zere!_"  He looks up, Archie's head cradled in his arms.

"Good work, Doc." Fury's voice sounds choked, "No-one could have done better."

The hangar door slams open and dozens of Targ soldiers boil into the room.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Ah, this must be when the original voice actor for Archie made a fuss over wanting to be paid the same salary as the other actors, and was fired. A little "speech synthesizer" destruction, a new robot body, and pow--the audience doesn't have to question the new voice.

-z


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> Archie's lights flicker, flare brightly once more, and then dim.





Noooooooooooooooooooo!


----------



## threshel

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> Noooooooooooooooooooo!





_Dittooooooooooooooooooooo!_


----------



## Capellan

Zaruthustran said:
			
		

> Ah, this must be when the original voice actor for Archie made a fuss over wanting to be paid the same salary as the other actors, and was fired. A little "speech synthesizer" destruction, a new robot body, and pow--the audience doesn't have to question the new voice.




Nah, the monkey voicing Archie is still working for peanuts 

There is an "in show" justification for what was basically just hot GM dice-rolling, though.  Look for it in the DVD extras


----------



## Capellan

*"The Targ Totality" - Part 14*

The crew of the _Pathfinder_ brace themselves for the assault of the Targ -

- and the bulkhead beside the onrushing soliders _bursts_ inwards.

With a bellowing roar, the Shintrak storms into the hangar, ribbons of metal wall trailing from its claws.  The mighty beast charges into the midst of the Targ soldiers, sending them flying in all directions.  Onle a few of the aliens are still; on their feet.  One raises his disruptor and puts a bolt straight into the creature's chest.  The Shintrak snarls its anger and smashes the back of its claw into his face.  The Targ flies bonelessly through the air and crashes down into a pile of crates and barrels.

"Run!" Fury's keen tactical mind immediately senses the best strategy.

No-one needs a second invitation.  All three ambulatory crew members turn and bolt in unison, boots pounding as they race across the floor and up the _Pathfinder_'s ramp.  Archie, his remains cradled in Gustav's arms, comes along by default.  S'Ondra, racing lithely with her long-legged stride, is the first into the ship.  Gustav, puffing and blowing, is next, with Fury at the rear.  The Captain is actually a champion sprinter, but there are certain ... perquisites ... to letting S'Ondra take the lead.

As Fury enters the ship, he skids to a halt and slaps the button to raise the ramp.

"Doc, get to the lab and see what you can do for Archie."he instructs, "Princess, I'll need your help on the bridge."

Gustav scurries off down the ship's corridor, while Fury and S'Ondra head forward.

"What do you need <i>me</i> for?"

"Someone has to monitor the drive systems and shields while I prep us for launch." Fury answers, swinging himself into the pilot's chair, "Doc's busy and Archie's not feeling himself, right now, so you're it."

"But I don't know anything about this stuff!" the Princess protests, staring at the huge array of gauges before her.

"Relax, a trained monkey could do it, remember?" Fury grins at S'Ondra's sour expression.  The Princess is not amused to have her own words turned against her.

"Emphasis on _trained_." she retorts, sharply.

Fury's grin changes to a reassuring smile,

"Just watch the three large gauges in the middle of the console.  If any of them go red, tell me which one, straight away."

S'Ondra looks suspicious,

"That's all?"

"Normally, no." Fury hands are busy on the ship's controls as he makes his answer, "The systems tech is supposed to fix those problems, not just report them.  But we'd need a monkey with an engineering degree for that.  How's everything look?"

"All green." S'Ondra reports, "But the one on the left is getting a little high."

"Thought it sounded like the Xenon flow was a little off." Fury nods, and makes some adjustments. "How about now?"

"All good."

Fury toggles the ship's intercom,

"Hold onto your microscope, Doc, we're getting out of here."

The Captain pushes forward on a lever and the low hum of the engines rapidly builds to a high-pitched whine.  The entire ship starts to vibrate, rattling the crew in their launch seats.  Just as the noise becomes unbearable, Fury slaps the main throttle to full, and the _Pathfinder_ leaps forward, the thrust pressing everyone back into their chairs.

The ship rockets out of the hangar, flames blasting from the engines as it roars into the blackness of space.

"Hold tight, people!  Things are about to get a bit bumpy!" Fury flings the ship sideways and down, then wrenches it back upwards again.  Bursts of light flash through the cockpit viewscreen as the gun turrets on the Targ ship open up.  Dozens of disruptor blasts tear the space around the _Pathfinder_, buffeting the ship like the explosions of missiles.  Then the genuine missiles come snaking through the void, seeking out the white-hot flare of the _Pathfinder_'s engines.

Fury is up to the task.  He flips the ship end-over-end, masking the heat of the engines with the ship's bulk.  The missiles lose tracking and speed by, detonating harmlessly as they strike the outer edge of Venus' atmosphere.

The _Pathfinder_ corkscrews down after them, heat flaring off her gravitic shields as the Captain pushes his piloting skills to the limit.

And then, suddenly, the barrage of explosions end, and the ship is swooping down through the atmosphere, before levelling out only a hundred feet above the surface.  Maintaining control with only one hand, Fury palms the intercom button,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Venus!"

"Vell done, Captain." Gustav answers over the intercom, "Vell done indeed."

"Father." S'Ondra leans over Fury to speak into the intercom, and the _Pathfinder_'s course wobbles noticeably for a second, "How is Archie?"

"I haf managed to attach his cerebral cortex to the ship's power systems." Gustav responds, "Just a moment and I vill patch his voice synthesiser into ze computer ... like so ..."

"I'm filthy!" Archie's voice wails from the intercom, "Covered in sweat and flakes of skin and -" he is interrupted by a loud _pop_.

"As you can hear, he is quite fine." Gustav resumes, "I vill see what can be done about manufacturing a new body for him, as soon as we are able to set down somewhere safe.  Do you have a landing site picked out, Captain?"

"Huh?" Fury's attention is split between the business of flying and the pleasure of S'Ondra's proximity.  He has little to spare for the Doctor's question, "Uh ... yeah, Doc.  There are some caves about forty miles north of this position.  I'm going to put the _Pathfinder_ down outside the largest and then taxi her in.  That'll give us cover from any air sweeps the Targe might -" he stops abruptly. "Oh, hell."

"What's the matter, Captain?" S'Ondra asks, staring uncomprehendingly at the ship's flight instruments.

"I've got multiple shuttle launches from the Targ mother ship on radar." Fury answers, "Fourteen ... no, eighteen ... twenty ... twenty three confirmed launches."

"Are zey coming after us?"

"I doubt it, Doc." Fury shakes his head, "Given the size of their shuttles, that's enough ships to bring down over two thousand men.  That's far more than they need for us.  We're looking at a full-scale invasion of Venus."

Roll credits.


_*Next time, on "Q-Ship" ...*
"The crew of the _Pathfinder_ have secured the formula to defeat the space mould, but they now find themselves on a Venus that is swarming with Targ troops.  As the natives are forced into concentration camps for re-education and enslavement, the four inter-dimensional travellers must embark on their most difficult assignment yet ..."_

The screen dissolves into a montage of images, with a soft tune playing over it. _Duh duh, Duh Darr Da-duh duh, Duh Duh, Duh Duh Duh, Duh Darr_.

A large camp, surrounded by wire fences and ringed with watch towers.  Vacant-eyed Venusians shamble around within the confines.

S'Ondra - daubed with the same designer dirt as her savage counterpart had in the opening episode - crouches beside a building along with a handsome young Venusian male.  He is offering her a small flower.

A Targ scientist, fully clad in an encounter suit but obviously female for all that, stalks toward Doctor Gustav, who is manacled to a strange machine.

Fury sits in a featureless grey room, bouncing a small rubber ball against the opposite wall.

S'Ondra is caught in the glare of a spotlight as neon green disruptor blasts spray out of the darkness.

_"Join us next time, on Q-Ship, when the crew of the _Pathfinder_ must achieve:  *Total Escape*."_


----------



## jezter6

Eeeeexxxxcceeellllllleeeennttt.... *does best Montgomery Burns impression*

Now I'm wondering how well I can warp Slavelords of Cydonia and this Story Hour together to make one wild campaign.

Good job Cap (and crew)!


----------



## the Jester

As always, great update!

But man, aren't there a lot of us jesters around here?  Jeez....


----------



## Capellan

*DVD Trivia Extras*

In the original script for the episode, Archie's body was not destroyed in the final battle.  This element was added because the robot costume was so cumbersome and fragile that it was causing delays in shooting.  The decision was made to rebuild the costume, and the script was altered in order to justify the planned changes in Archie's appearance.

In the 1950s radio series, the Targ were described as lizard-like, with grey-green scales.  The TV show's did not have the time or budget to do this convincingly, so the producers elected to put them in 'environment suits', which were little more than wetsuits with various polystyrene accessories stuck on top.

In the scene where Fury says "They don't call me the best pilot in Space Force for nothing.", the script called for S'Ondra to reply: "No, they charge you five credits a time."  The line was deleted from the episode prior to airing.

The Shintrak costume was of unusually good quality for the show.  Fans of _Doctor Who_ will know why: it's clearly a modified Sea Devil costume, without the armour and flashlight-style weapon.


----------



## Capellan

Excerpted from _Science Fiction Collector_, February 2005

The BBC announced today that it would go ahead with a boxed set for the second half of _Q-Ship_, Season One.  The 'Beeb' released the first half of the season - long thought to be lost - to a surprisingly strong reception in late 2003.  The release of part two has been delayed for almost a year by licensing issues related to the abortive 1986 US version of the show.

_Q-Ship: Season One, Part Two_ is due for release March 1st, 2005.


----------



## Henry

Capellan said:
			
		

> The release of part two has been delayed for almost a year by licensing issues related to the abortive 1986 US version of the show.




Bloody colonials, always messing things up....

YAAAY! I'm buyin' that box when it comes out!


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> _Q-Ship: Season One, Part Two_ is due for release March 1st, 2005.




Whoooo!


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 1*

The episode begins with the _Pathfinder_, hanging in darkness.

And then there is a flare of light, rising into the flickering glow of a campfire, and we see that the ship is not in space, but in the cavernous gloom of a huge stone cave.

We zoom in on the light, S'Ondra's face swimming into focus in the flames' red glow.  She blows lightly, feeding larger twigs and sticks into the fire, until the glow brightens to a warm golden light.  The princess nods in satisfaction, adds a few more pieces of wood to the flames, and then scoots back to sit on a rock next to her foster-father.

White light falls across the scene, then disappears again, as we hear the hollow sounds of Fury's boots on the ship's ramp.

"I still don't see why we're doing this." the Captain takes a seat on the opposite side of the fire. "We've got heat and light and food in the ship, you know."

"And it would be much cleaner in there." Archie's disembodied voice rises out of the darkness.  The camera shifts downwards, and we see what looks like a builder-bot, crouched on the floor.  Archie's cerebral cortex  has been wired into the bot's back.  His lights blink anxiously.

"The ship only has _human_ food." S'Ondra picks up a long skewer with several red and purple objects stung along it, "And you should always cook ganarg and sopprik over real coals, for the proper smoked flavour."

"I can't wait." even in the reddish light, Fury looks a little green at the prospect.

"This is a most unsanitary area for cooking." Archie frets, "And I'm sure those flames aren't hot enough to properly kill any bacteria.  If only I had my plasma burners -"

"Zere, zere Archie." Gustav soothes.  He goes to pat the little builder-bot, but stops when it scuttles away with a nervous squawk.

"Doctor, your hands are dirty!"

"Sorry, Archie." Gustav wipes his hands on his smock, "Do not vorry, I will not touch you with zem.  But as I was going to say, you must not vorry about your body, eizzer.  Zis body you have is only temporary, until ze original builder-bot finishes ze new one for you."

"Your normal body is pretty big, old boy." Fury reminds the robot, "And the Doc thinks the bot will be finished in a week.  That's pretty good, really.  I mean, it takes nine months to make a new human, and they are much smaller than you are."

"It would be much quicker if robots made new humans.  And far more sanitary."

"But much less fun." Fury grins.  S'Ondra gives a snort.

"I doubt you would be so enthusiastic if your role in the process included the actual pregnancy and labour, Captain."

"Perhaps we should talk about what it is we will do about ze Targ." Gustav changes the subject, "Zey are conquering ze planet as we speak.  How can we help ze Venusians against them?"

"We must organise my people." S'Ondra states firmly, "Train them into an elite fighting force, such as only Venusians can become, and drive the enemy from this world!"

"How will we arm them?" Fury asks, "Spears and clubs aren't going to do much good against disruptors, no matter how elite your Venusian fighters are."

"Ze builder-bot could make more advanced weapons." Gustav suggests, "Once it is done with Archie's new body, of course."

"How long will that take?" Fury asks, "And how well could the Venusians use them, once they were made?  No offence to you, Princess, but the people on this world aren't exactly technological sophisticates."

"Based on known builder-bot capabilities, eleven disruptors could be manufactured per week." Archie advises, "Present data on Venusian and Targ technology indicates that Venus will be conquered within three days."

"We can't just give up!"

"No-one is suggesting we should, _leibchen_." Gustav rubs his wispy beard, "But it is a difficult conundrum we face, _ja_?"

A stone clatters in the darkness.

"What was that?" S'Ondra snatches up her heat lance and leaps to her feet, peering into the gloom beyond the fire's dim light.

Muffled sounds of movement in the darkness suddenly still.

"It must be the Targ." Fury hisses to the others, unclipping his atomic pistol as he does so, "Get out of the light.  I'll try to draw them off with some covering fire."

"Wait, Captain."Archie extrudes a plastic nozzle from his makeshift body, "Sensors indicate high concentrations of dirt, grime and bacteria.  The organisms that have entered the cave are Venusians."


----------



## Zaruthustran

Looks like by the second half of the season, both the actors and the writers are settling comfortably into the characters. The dialogue seems really natural.

-z


----------



## jezter6

I wonder if there was ever a scandal in the tabloids about the actor of Fury and the actress of S'Ondra having an 'out of studio' affair.


Either way, I'll never tire of Fury's innuendo.


----------



## Capellan

Nope, they were just good friends.

Which doesn't mean there was never any romance on the set, mind you ... but details of that will have to wait for a future episode


----------



## Plane Sailing

Had they given any consideration to the possibility of getting the builder bots to build more builder bots? They could ramp up production quite quickly that way


----------



## Spatzimaus

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> Had they given any consideration to the possibility of getting the builder bots to build more builder bots?




I don't think they had the prop budget for that, since you'd have to have a different person controlling each bot.  Considering how often they re-used sets, I was surprised they put as much detail into such a background character in the first place.  I guess it made sense once they put Archie's head on that bot, but I was always under the impression that that wasn't intended when they first put the builderbots on the show.

Growing up, I SO wanted to be Gustav and build a robot like Archie.  Man, was it disappointing to find out it was only a TV show.


----------



## arwink

Spatzimaus said:
			
		

> I don't think they had the prop budget for that, since you'd have to have a different person controlling each bot.




Tell me about it.  You make one innocent comment to the director about a possible addition to the show, and suddenly you have the prop department jumping down your throat about the cost of running those little machines.  You've never seen someone get so angry about having to stock a few extra double D batteries.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 2*

"We friends." S'Ondra calls out to her fellow Venusians, using the primitive syntax she learned in the crew's previous visit to the planet.  Stooping, she picks up one of the roasting ganark and proffers it toward the darkness, "Come.  Warm.  Food."

Slowly, bedraggled and dirty Venusians start to appear on the edge of the fire's light.  They gaze at the four space travellers with wide eyes, clustering together as if for protection.  Waifishly thin children stare longingly at the food, but are held back by the adults, who are obviously unsure of the strangers' peaceful intentions.

Slowly, the Princess inches toward the Venusians, her hand outstretched with the food.  Seeing them shy away, she places the ganark on a flat stone, then moves backwards, giving them plenty of room.

Tentatively, one of the older males comes forward and takes the food.  He sniffs it critically, then takes a small bite.  When he doesn't immediately choke and die, he edges back toward his companions and tears the ganark into pieces, handing it out to the children.

This seems to act as a signal that all is well.  The Venusians crowd forward, drawing nearer the warmth and light of the fire, while Fury - trying to hide his relief - passes out the ganark and sopprik to people who actually seem eager to eat it.

"I know I have it somevhere." Gustav digs around in his bag, dumping all kinds of oddments on the dusty cave floor, "Ah!  Here it is!"  He produces the makeshift translator he constructed, blows off a piece of lint, and then twiddles a few knobs.

"Why you here?" he asks, his words translated into the contorted consonants of the Venusian tongue.

Several of the Venusians jump, staring fearfully at the stranger and his odd talking box, but one old man speaks up,

"Hide skypeople.  Who you?"

"We gods." Fury intercedes calmly, ignoring the scowl he gets from S'Ondra.

"Why gods hide in earth?"

"We _earth_ gods."

The old man nods, as if accepting this logic.

"Earth gods destroy sky people?"

"Love to, old boy, if only someone hadn't removed all the weapons from the _Pathfinder_." The translation machine chitters confusedly at Fury's complex reply, then does its best to interpret:

"Maybe."

One of the Venusian women peers closely at S'Ondra, brow wrinkled in confusion.  Finally, she speaks,

"See you camp!  How you here?"

"You see sister." S'Ondra ad libs.

"How sky people capture earth god sister?"

"Uh ..."

"She not captured." Gustav soothes, "She secret scout."

"Nice save, old boy.  Couldn't have said it better myself."

"What sky people do?" S'Ondra gets things back on track.

"Catch us.  Put in camps.  Many caught." The old man shakes his head sadly, then looks proud, "Not we, though.  We smart.  Come dark place.  Sky people not come dark place."

"Dark places safe." One of the other Venusians agrees, nodding vigorously.

"No sky people go dark places." A third concurs.

"We understand." Fury forestalls further belabouring of this plot point.

"We must investigate these camps and free my people!" S'Ondra announces.

"We vill need a plan." Gustav muses, "What do we have on us?"

"Dust." Archie observes, morosely.

"Talking rock!" The Venusians quail back from this strange phenomenon.

"We _earth_ gods." Fury reminds them.

"How far camp?" the Princess asks the old man who seems to be the Venusians' leader.

"Much march." he answers, looking relieved to be talking to a person, rather than a rock. "Whole light and dark time.  People in camp strange."

"Strange how?"

"Very stupid." the response brings a snort from Fury, who earns a wicked glare from S'Ondra for his lack of self-control.  The old man is oblivious to the interchange as he mimes a shambling, vacant look, "And work all time."

"Drugged, maybe." Fury muses, "To keep them pliant."

"Zat matches with what ze Targ scientists told us." Gustav nods.

"We have to go and help my people." S'Ondra repeats, clearly not interested in _why_ the Targ hold them prisoner, "We can free them and bring them back here, where they will be safe.  There's plenty of room - these caves go back for miles."

"The camp is probably going to be heavily guarded." Fury cautions, "We may not be able to help them."  Seeing the glint in S'Ondra's eye, he raises a hand, "I'm not saying we _won't_ help them.  I'm just saying we need to know more about the situation before we try anything.  If we go in half-cocked and get caught, we won't be able to help anybody."

"I zought going in half-cocked was your speciality, Captain."

"Princess, can you get the old man to tell you everything he knows about the camp, and how to get there?" Fury doesn't miss a beat, "I'll start collecting supplies.  It sounds like we have a long journey ahead of us.  Doc, you and Archie should seal up the ship and make sure the builder-bot knows not to let anyone else aboard."

As the crew springs into action, the camera sweeps away from the glowing fire, and into the blackness that consumes the rest of the cave.  Then it rises up, out of the cave mouth and into the sky, and we see that it is after dark.  Silvery stars glimmer in the purple-tinged Venusian night as S'Ondra leads the way out into the jungle.

"According to the old man, his group came along a ridge-line to get here.  We follow that until we reach a river, then head upriver." the Princess expositions, "That'll bring us to some hills.  The camp is on the other side of the range."

"How long did it take zem to do all this?"

"A day and a night, but they had children to slow them down." S'Ondra replies, "We should be able to reach the camp by first light."

"The Doc's not as young as he once was." Fury cautions, pitching his voice low.

"I vill be fine, Captain." Evidently there's nothing wrong with Gustav's hearing. "Archie, how is your new body dealing with ze terrain?"

"Everything is functioning perfectly." Archie scuttles across the ground, body bouncing a bit as he crosses some bumpy terrain. "Though I would much prefer to be on a less-dirty planet."

The four interplanar travellers set out across the alien Venusian landscape.  The jungle is filled with strange and jagged shapes: palm-like trees with razor-sharp leaves, spike-studded cacti, and tangles of thorn-covered vines.

"Good grief." Fury steps cautiously around one of the bloated cacti, "Is there anything on this planet that isn't covered in spikey bits?"

S'Ondra thinks about it.

"Not really."

"Venusian fauna and flora is quite fascinating." Gustav offers enthusiastically, "It was while I was studying zese things zat S'Ondra came into my care.  Zat cactus not only has spines, Captain Fry, but its flesh is also extremely sweet and succulent -"

"Really?" Fury looks hungry.

"- it is, unfortunately, also highly toxic."

The journey continues, the crew of the _Pathfinder_ tramping through a series of tangled, purple-lit scenes.  They clamber long inclines, scramble down slopes, and splash across small streams.  Finally, Fury moves up beside S'Ondra.

"Are you sure about the old man's directions?" he asks, glancing around, "Shouldn't we have reached that river by now?  Maybe we should have gone left, at that large rock, earlier."

"It's this way." S'Ondra says, pointing firmly in the direction they have been heading.

"Fine." Fury raises his empty hands in a show of placation, "This way it is."  He strides purposefully forwards, out front of the group, and then suddnely vanishes from sight with a squawk of surprise."

"Captain!" three voices exclaim as one.  Gustav starts to rush forward, but S'Ondra holds him back.

"Careful.  There's a cliff-edge, just ahead." the Princess edges forward and peers over the edge, her father just behind her. "Captain, are you alright?"

"Just peachy." Fury's voice floats up from the darkness, and then we see him, clinging to the crumbling earthen wall of a cliff. "I've always wanted to try abseiling, though I hear it works better if you've got a rope."

"Look on ze bright side, Captain." Gustav points downwards.  Hundreds of feet below Fury, foaming white water can dimly be seen crashing against a series of jagged rocks. "You've found ze river."



NB: if you're _not_ a player in this game, head over here and participate in some future story hour fun.  The players, of course, should stay the heck out.


----------



## the Jester

Man, gotta love the Q-Ship!

I tell you, looking back on it, the sense of continuity was pretty incredible compared to most tv on when I was a kid.


----------



## Capellan

Don't have an update ready just yet, but do have *Space Tomb* all PDF'd and ready for you to download.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 3*

"That's great, Doc.  I'll clap with glee as soon as I'm done dangling from this precipice."

"I vill get a vine and we will pull you up." Gustav begins searching through the undergrowth for a suitable article of vegetation, discarding several due to their razor-sharp thorns or extrusions of poisonous sap.  Finally he exclaims in excitement and grasps a sturdy but apparently non-lethal vine in both hands. "Ve vill have you rescued in just a moment, Captain!"

The Doctor strains valiantly, what passes for his muscles bulging with the effort, but the vine shows no sign of budging until S'Ondra appears at his side and gives it a mighty heave.  Then, with a sound of tearing vegetation and a shower of reddish dirt, the vine comes free.

Quickly, foster-father and daughter return to the edge of the cliff, and S'Ondra casts the vine down to Fury.  The camera, however, lingers on the clump of vegetation from which the vine was dragged.  Slowly, the mound begins to swell and stir, something rising out of it.

"Here, Captain!" S'Ondra calls, leaning forward over the ledge in what will become the most video-captured moment of the DVD.

Fury grabs the vine as it flails beside his hand, then slowly clambers back up the cliff, shirt tearing against the jagged rocky outcroppings.  As he hauls himself over the ledge, we see his eyes widen in shock.  An immediate switch to a point of view shot reveals what he has seen: a huge plant-monster, easily eight feet tall, looms behind the group, its massive tulip-like head wobbling back and forth as it stalks toward them.

Sensing Fury's alarm, Archie spins in place.  Lights flash in his transplanted brain as he analyses the threat.

"Doctor, I think we should postpone discussing how interesting this creature is until it is dead."

The robot's words signal the start of the battle, and S'Ondra immediately rushes to the fray, stabbing the creature twice with her heat lance.  Sticky white sap sprays from the wounds, spattering on her face like something that probably should have been censored.

The creature staggers from the assault, flailing pathetically as Fury and Gustav redouble its woes by striking it with fists and wrench respectively.  It is left to Archie to put it out of its misery, however: a short-range laser beam scythes out of the builder-bot's nose, cutting into the monster and sending it crashing to the ground.

"What's the matter, Princess?" Fury notices a frown on S'Ondra's face. "Don't tell me that's just the baby and the mother-monster's going to be along any second?"

The Princess shakes her head,

"I thought I heard thunder." As she speaks, a distant rumble confirms her words.

Fury shrugs,

"A little water never hurt anybody."

S'Ondra and Gustav exchange a look.  Fury sighs,

"Venusian rain isn't water, is it?"

"Of course it is!" the Princess denies, hotly. "Mostly."

"Ze water has a high concentration of certain molecular acids." Gustav explains as a much closer rumble of thunder shakes the set, "It is not harmful to natural materials, but wiz certain synthetic fabrics, zere is a more noticeable chemical reaction."

"What _sort_ of 'chemical reaction'?"

Rain pours from the heavens in answer.  Immediately, steam begins to rise from the clothing worn by Fury, S'Ondra and the Doctor.

"Zey dissolve."

The group struggles on through the night, slipping and sliding in the muddy conditions as their clothes are eaten away, until only a few scanty scraps of cloth are left in strategic locations.  By the time the rain ends and the sky lightens with the dawn, the three flesh-and-blood members of the crew are covered in dirt and grime and strange Venusian goop, and clad only in rags.

The resemblance they now bear to typical savage Venusians is quite uncanny, not to mention narratively convenient.

Archie, completely unaffected by the night's downpour and better equipped to handle the muddy conditions, is the first to crest the ridge that overlooks the Targ Camp.  He immediately comes to a halt, then scurries back down the slope to alert his struggling companions.

"The camp is just ahead." He announces, lights flashing worriedly. "As we have now reached our destination, I must once more request that you immediately conduct a level four cleansing operation.  Your current level of cleanliness contravenes eight hundred and eleven of my programming parameters."

"How 'bout it, Princess?" Fury flops down in the dirt - prompting another squawk of horror from Archie - and peers over the ridge at the camp, "I'll scrub your back, if you like."

"I'd prefer to stay dirty."

"I vould be happy to let you scrub mine, Captain."

And so are a thousand slash-fics launched.

We switch to a view of the Targ Camp.  It is a large encampment, perhaps eight hundred yards long and five hundred wide, and is clearly a left-over set from a World War Two prisoner of war show, with a couple of science-fiction widgets added to the mix.  Two barbed-wire fences ring the camp, which is watched over by five towers.  Each tower mounts a pair of large searchlights.

Within the fences are three prisoner barracks, a guard barracks with parade ground, and two other buildings.  The first is a huge, corrugated iron warehouse, while the second is emblazoned with many Trag symbols, and seems to be the centre of a great deal of activity.  A clump of Venusian children are herded out of it, then a second clump are herded in, followed a few minutes later by a single adult Venusian, prodded at gunpoint by two Targ guards.

"Okay.  We've found the place." Fury glances at the others, "Now what?"


----------



## KidCthulhu

Capellan said:
			
		

> "I vould be happy to let you scrub mine, Captain."
> 
> And so are a thousand slash-fics launched.




Shudder.  Yergh.


----------



## Henry

Who is this supposed to be, Captain Fury or Zapp Brannigan?


----------



## threshel

Capellan said:
			
		

> The robot's words signal the start of the battle, and S'Ondra immediately rushes to the fray, stabbing the creature twice with her heat lance.  Sticky white sap sprays from the wounds, spattering on her face like something that probably should have been censored.




Okay, now.  That's just wrong.
Wrong, wrong, _wrong_

Keep up the great work, Cappellan!

J


----------



## ledded

Ab-so-lute-ly fabulous.  

I'm laying on my stomach on the living room rug, chin in my hands, eyes wide and reflecting the flickering old black-and-white as I patiently await the next episode to air.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 4*

"I'll sneak down and scout." S'Ondra points toward the camp, "The guards look pretty occupied."

"Scouting is a good idea." Fury agrees, "But maybe Archie should go.  His builder-bot body is very small: the guards -" he considers his next words carefully "- are _even less_ likely to spot him than they are you."

"On ze ozzer hand, if they _did_ spot Archie, zey would know immediately zat somezink strange was going on." Gustav muses, with a surprisingly strong grasp of reality. "It vould be best if anyone zey spotted appeared to be an uneducated savage.  Perhaps you should go instead, Captain."

"_I_ will go." S'Ondra insists.  She strikes a determined pose, her bosom thrust out majestically. "It is _my_ people are imprisoned."

"Zen I will go with you, _leibchen_." A determined pose is somehow not as inspiring when the Doctor does it.

"Is that wise, Doc?  You're really more of a boffin than a scout."

"Do not fret, Captain.  I am sure S'Ondra will be able to keep me from exposing myself."

"We both have a great deal of practise." Archie concurs.

"Besides," Gustav continues "zere could be electronic sensors and ozzer technological devices to spot intruders around ze camp.  I vill be needed to disable such things."

Fury can see when he's beaten,

"Fine, but stay out of sight, both of you."

The camera remains with the Captain and Archie as they watch their two companions scramble down the embankment and begin to scurry across the field that surrounds the Targ camp.  Even crouched over as they run, the two stick out like sore thumbs on the flat and empty plain, but BBC aliens are notoriously inattentive, and they make it to the only cover in sight - a small clump of bushes - without the alarm being raised.

There is renewed activity in the camp as S'Ondra and Gustav settle into their hiding place.  Two Targ carry a huge black cauldron from the corrugated iron building, then a third Targ bangs on the side with a ladle.  Dozens of Venusians begin to assemble in response to the dull _clang_, and soon they are trooping past the cauldron in a line, each getting a ladle of yellowish gruel slopped into their cupped hands.  Most shove their faces into their hands as they walk away, slurping up whatever strange food it is they have been served with as fast as they can.

"_Gnyah!_  They didn't even wash their hands!" Archie's body vibrates with horror at the unhygienic display. "Don't they know how many diseases they could catch?"

"Don't burn out your circuits, old boy." Fury cautions, then suddenly groans in distress, "Damn it!"

Six black-suited Targ come marching into the scene from the right of shot, following a dusty dirt track across the field.  Within moments, they will be in the perfect position to spot Gustav and the Princess.

"Turn around, S'Ondra ." Fury grits his teeth, as if mentally trying to warn the Princess of her peril, "_Turn around_."

The Captain's attempt at telepathy fails: one of the Targ soldiers suddenly calls out and points, and the six aliens rush forward and surround S'Ondra and Gustav before the two can even rise to their feet.  Finding themselves covered by half a dozen readied disruptors, the pair raise their hands and slowly stand.

"Damnation!" Fury swears again, pounding his fist on the dirt.

The camera swoops down to the field as the Captain expresses his impotent fury, coming to rest on the defiant S'Ondra and Gustav.

"How you escape?" one of the Targ demands in pidgin Venusian, poking his disruptor toward the Princess.

"Escape?" S'Ondra looks blank.

"You inside.  Now outside!  How?"

"Zey zink you are your duplicate from zis reality, _leibchen_." Gustav mutters out of the corner of his mouth, earning a barked command for "Silence!" from the Targ.

"Not escape." S'Ondra glowers, "Seek sister here."

"Seek sister?" The Targ prods her toward the camp gates, "Then good luck.  You meet sister now."

And with that, Gustav and S'Ondra are herded at gunpoint into Targ captivity.



If you aren't a player in Q-Ship, don't forget to add your input to this thread!  (Players should stay out.  Out, I say!)


----------



## Capellan

A compiled PDF of Q-Ship's third episode is now available for download.

And while I'm here, I also work in some shameless pimping of my new MnM Superlink PDF.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 5*

Fury curses as he watches his companions' capture, fists clenched impotently.  Being impotent is a major cause of concern for him.

"There is nothing we can do at the current time, Captain." Archie attempts to mollify Fury's anger. "The Targ will be on heightened alert now.  We must wait for a better opportunity."

"I know, Archie." Fury never takes his eyes off the distant figure of the Princess, "But it doesn’t make me feel any better."

It's likely that S'Ondra herself isn't too thrilled with events either, as she and her foster father are frog-marched into the camp, their hands on their heads.

"Stop here." The leader of the patrol points at a dusty spot of ground.  The two captives do as instructed, still covered by five disruptors as the patrol leader continues to walk forward.  He comes to a halt before a tall Targ with elaborate insignia on his shoulders and executes a smart salute.

"Two new prisoners, Commandant.  One of them appears identical to an existing inmate."

Watching the Targ conversation, Gustav whispers out of the corner of his mouth,

"Can you understand zem, _leibchen_?"

"Of course.  It's not like I slept through your lectures on their language." S'Ondra answers primly, then adds under her breath. "Not all of them, anyway."

"Show me the prisoners." The Commandant follows the patrol leader over to Gustav and the Princess, and examines them closely, "I see what you mean, Sub-Commander."  He snaps his fingers and points to a pair of nearby guards. "You!  Go and fetch the Chief Scientist.  You!  Fetch the prisoner that looks like this one." He gestures at S'Ondra.

As the guards hurry to obey, the Commandant steps back and surveys the two prisoners, "Healthy looking specimens, Sub-Commander.  We should get plenty of work out of these two."

"Here's the prisoner you requested, sir." The first of the guards returns, dragging Savage S'Ondra by the arm.  She shuffles in his wake, head lolling and eyes vacant.

"What's wrong with her?" the Princess hisses to Gustav, as she looks at her counterpart with concern.

"I zink she may be drugged." The Doctor mutters back, his voice low, "At least, I hope zat is ze case.  Ze alternative is zat zey have operated on her mind in some way -" he breaks off, suddenly realising that such conjecture is probably not what S'Ondra wants to hear.

"You wished to see me, Commandant?" a rich contralto voice intercedes as a new Targ arrives in the scene.  This is evidently the Chief Scientist ... and the skin-tight Targ bodysuits make it equally evident that the Chief Scientist is a She.

"Oh my." Gustav swallows, "Is it getting hot, here?"

The Commandant nods an answer to the Chief Scientist's question, then gestures at Gustav and S'Ondra.

"I wanted to show you these two new prisoners." He explains, "Notice that the one on the right appears identical to this other prisoner.  This seems a remarkable genetic anomaly."

"Oh, not really." The Chief Scientist gives S'Ondra a dismissive flick of her hand, "The inefficient and disgusting biological processes these primitives use to breed are responsible for such aberrations.  They occur approximately once in every two-hundred and fifty cases.  Rare, but by no means remarkable."  She pulls out a handheld device of some kind and points it at Gustav.  The instrument makes a series of high-pitched _click_ing noises.

"This other prisoner, however, is an interesting specimen.  I detect unusually high - though very erratic - brainwave patterns.  With your permission, I'd like to have him brought to the lab for further study."

"Permission granted." The Commandant nods. "Do you require the other prisoner as well?"

"No.  Her brain patterns are normal for the species.  She can be added to the general populace."

S'Ondra glances around at the guards, subtly shifting her weight so that she can spring into action.

"Get ready, father." She mutters, "We're going to have to make a break for it."

"No, _leibchen_." The Doctor shakes his head almost imperceptibly, "Zere are too many of zem."

"But she's going to take you away and cut you up in her laboratory!"

"Zere will be ozzer tests, first." Gustav reassures her, speaking quickly as two guards move forward to escort him along behind the Chief Scientist, "Zere will be time for you or Archie or Captain Fury to rescue me before anything unpleasant happens to me, I am sure."

And then the camera is following Gustav as he is forcibly dragged away, the two guards each gripping one of his arms and walking fast enough that he stumbles and is forced to start half-jogging in order to keep his balance.  They drag him into the busiest of the camp buildings, in and out of which  a constant stream of Venusians are being herded.  One of the guards pushes open the door with his free hand -

"OBEY THE TARG.  THE TARG ARE WISE.  THE TARG ARE STRONG.  OBEY THE TARG."

A massive screen dominates the far wall of the main room within the building.  A swirling pattern of colours washes over the screen as a booming voice blasts out of loudspeakers, demanding obedience and loyalty to the new Targ order.  Dozens of Venusians are crowded into the room, and Targ guards move amongst them, making sure that all the prisoners are watching the hypnotic patterns on the screen.

"This way." The Chief Scientist beckons the guards on past this room, and we enter a sterile, white-washed laboratory, full of gleaming chrome instruments.  A large steel table, fitted with bulky vice-like manacles, dominates the room. "Secure him to the observation table, then adjust it to a sixty degree angle."

The guards swiftly manacle Gustav, then crank a winch that raises him into a near standing position.  As they do so, the Chief Scientist runs her scanner up and down Gustav's body.

"Very good." She nods as the table is put into position. "You may leave now."  The guards obviously hesitate, and she waves a hand dismissively. "He's hardly likely to be dangerous while he's manacled to the table, is he?"

The guards salute stiffly and withdraw.  As the door closes behind them, the Chief Scientist enters a code on the keypad beside it.  There is an audible _clunk_ as the door's locks engage.

"I must say," she says in English as she turns toward Gustav and gestures with her scanner, "These results show your intellect to be quiet staggering.  Of course, they'd have to be, for you to survive your planet's devastation."

"I don't know vhat you mean!" Gustav protests.

"Really?" the Targ seems amused, "Then how did you understand me?"  Gustav looks stricken as he realises his blunder, but the alien continues in a pleasant tone, "There would be no point denying it, of course.  You might _look_ like one of these unwashed natives, but your physical readings are quite different.  And your brain patterns ..." she breaks off, "... well, let's just say that I've never seen such a _big_ sine wave, before."

Gustav blinks.

"Tell me ..." the Chief Scientist stalks across the room, her voluptuous figure straining at her tight-fitting body suit, "... are you _really_ the product of random physical breeding?  It seems hard to believe that such primitive methods would provide such an extraordinary specimen."

"It is not random." Gustav protests, "Partnerships are chosen by mutual attraction."

"Mutual attraction?  You mean a shared desire to mate?"

"Well, _ja_, but -"

"You will demonstrate this to me.  _Now_."

The Chief Scientist reaches up to the collar of her body suit, and we fade to black to the accompaniment of a drawn out _zzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppp_.





If you aren't a player in Q-Ship, don't forget to add your input to this thread!  (Players should stay out.  Out, I say!)


----------



## Zaruthustran

_Dun-dun ROWR!_

This must be from when Q-ship moved to that post-primetime slot.

-z


----------



## Spatzimaus

This was the episode that made me decide to go into science; if an old, freaky-looking scientist like Gustav can get a hot alien chick, then that's the career for me!


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## KidCthulhu

What can I say.  Chicks dig guys with a big cerebral cortex.


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## the Jester

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> What can I say.  Chicks dig guys with a big cerebral cortex.




Especially cephalovorous chicks.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 6*

Two of the Targ guards drag S'Ondra into one of the large, barracks-style buildings that dominate the camp.  The interior is a single large room, with rows of double bunks along each wall.

"You sleep here" the taller guard indicated one of the beds. "You eat when clang sound.  You do as told."

The Princess suppresses a scowl and instead just nods her response, not trusting herself to speak without betraying her scorn for the invaders.

A third guard appears at the baracks door and waves for his two companions.

"The Commandant wants us to head out on patrol." he calls to them in Targ, "There might be more of the primitives in the area."

As the three guards leave, S'Ondra quickly moves to the window and peers out into the camp, standing just to the side of the window frame so that she will not be seen from outside.  Her eyes go immediately to the building where her foster-father was taken, and a worried frown creases her usually perfect forehead,

"There's got to be _something_ I can do." she muses, then suddenly stiffens.  Whirling around, she drops into a crouch, eyes scanning the room. "Who's there?"

And because the screenwriter's a tease, the camera flashes out to the eight man Targ patrol as they head out of the camp and begin the long, slow tramp up into the jungle-lined ridge where Fury and Archie are concealed.

"Look at them, straggling about like that."Fury disapproves, "They're not paying any real attention to what they're doing."

"Evidently they do not anticipate any difficulties, Captain." Archie's builder-bot body waves its antennae thoughtfully, "They do appear to have the native population entirely pacified."

"Well, they're about to learn that the _non_-native population has a few objections of its own.  Follow me, Archie, I have a plan."

The Targ patrol continues to head up the ridge-line, becoming more and more strung out as it does so.  After they enter the tree-line, they bunch up a little more, but this is more than cancelled out by the reduced visibility.  Soon the rearmost Targ is out of sight of his companions as he unhurriedly picks his way through the undergrowth, disruptor hanging casually at his side.

The disruptor swings up at a rustle in the bushes to his left, and the Targ steps warily in that direction.  The bushes rustle slightly again, and the alien pauses, obviously considering whether he should call for assistance.

Which is when Fury steps out from the bushes behind him and wallops him with a tree-branch.

"Well done, Archie." the Captain calls softly as he checks to make sure the Targ is out cold.  The robot emerges from the undergrowth.

"What do you plan to do now that you've captured him, Captain?"

Fury answers in between grunts of exertion as he drags the body out of sight.

"I'm going to get him out of this suit ... _nngh_ ... and get myself ... _ungh_ ... into it.  Then .... _mmph_ ... I'm going to follow the patrol .... _hmph_ ... back into the camp."

"The suit should be sterilised before you wear it, Captain." Archie frets, "There could be any number of strange alien germs in there."

"So you said last time I put one of these on." Fury's slightly-muffled voice floats in of shot.  Seconds later, he reappears, fully dressed in the Targ encounter suit except for the helmet, which he still holds in his hand. "Now climb up into this backpack for me." he gestures at the encounter suit's pack with his thumb.

Archie scuttles backward nervously, obviously unenthusiastic about the idea.

"Captain -"

"Archie, that's an order."

There's a frustrated groan of changing gears from the robot, and he sends his builder-bot body scuttling up Fury's leg and into the open pack.  The pack bulgers and shakes as Archie sulkily makes himself comfortable.  Ignoring this, Fury jams his helmet on his head, shoulders his disruptor rifle, and heads off after the rest of the Targ patrol.

As he walks, a robotic eyestalk appears out of the top of the pack, and peers over his shoulder to see where they are going.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 7*

"Don't be afraid." a handsome male Venusian appears out of the shadows of the barracks, his open hands held out, palms forward.

"I'm _not_ afraid." S'Ondra looks offended. "I'm angry."

"Angry?" the young man looks puzzled.  S'Ondra can't help but notice that he's got baby blue eyes and a cleft chin.

"The Targ come here and take over my world!" the Princess seethes, "They enslave my people!"

"Shhh!" the young man gestures for her to keep her voice down, "They will hear you."

"I don't care!  I want to kill them all!"

"How?  They have mighty weapons?"

"Oh.  Yes." S'Ondra is reminded of the painful reality that she does not have her heat lance.

The Venusian cocks his head to one side and looks at her quizzically,

"You look much like other prisoner." he notes.

"Um ... yes." S'Ondra tries to imagine explaining things to the half-dressed and distractingly well-built young male. "It's complicated."

"So you have no way to fight sky people?"

"No." S'Ondra admits, "But maybe the others will."

"Others?"

The Princess winces as she realises her blunder.

"... Yes.  Other Venusians.  Venusians exactly like me." she desperately tries to think of a way to change the subject, "Look, I can't just keep thinking of you as 'studl -- I mean 'young' guy.  What's your name?"

"I am H'Ro." the young man slaps his chest, "And you?"

"S'Ondra."

"It is a beautiful name." H'Ro says, "But isn't that the same as -"

"Like I said, it's complicated." S'Ondra paces to the window and looks out.  She watches some of the prisoners shamble past, not looking up from the ground as they do.  The Princess frowns, "What's wrong with them?" she points at the prisoners, "They should be thinking of ways to fight back!  But none of them seem to care ... except _you_.  Why is that?"

"Sky people put bad stuff in food." H'Rio explains, "Make brain sick.  No think any more.  I not eat it."

"You seem in very good shape for someone who's not eating." S'Ondra ought to know, given the detailed study she's done of his abs.

"Found other food." H'Ro explains, "Show you when dark.  Don't eat anything from Sky People."

"I won't." S'Ondra promises.  She frowns, thinking about what she's been told, "Do you know where the food is made?  They must put the ... 'bad stuff' in there.  If we could find it and get rid of it, the others would stop being brain sick."

"Food made in Sky People Cave." H'Ro points at the large iron shed.

"Is it guarded?"

H'Ro shrugs,

"Always Sky People in it.  Less when dark."

"Then we'll check it tonight." S'Ondr nods, happy to have made a plan.

Meanwhile, the Targ patrol straggles back into the camp.  Fury hangs at the back of the group, avoiding eye contact and generally trying not to be noticed.

"Any sign of S;Ondra or the Doc?" he hisses at Archie.

"No, Captain." Archie's antennae squirms around as he scans the camp, "I do not see either of them.  Bear in mind that this reality's S'Ondra is probably here, as well."

"Oh, I hadn't forgotten." Fury sounds quite cheered by the prospect.

"Bortran!" the leader of the patrol turns and points at Fury, "Report to hydroponics.  You're on ration detail!"

Fury issues a smart, Targ style salute.

"What in damnation did he just say?"

"The Doctor gave lessons in Targ, Captain.  Did you not attend?"

"I'm not learning that muck.  They're the outsiders, not me.  What did he say?"

"You are to report to hydroponics for ration duty."

"Fabulous.  Any idea where that is?"

"None, Captain."


----------



## Zaruthustran

Anyone else sense the arrival of a hilarious mistaken identity ambush of Fury by S'Ondra?


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 8*

"Well those buildings are all identical.  Probably prisoner barracks." Fury muses, "And the one on our right is obviously the guards' barracks, so I guess that means the big iron shed is our best bet."

"Astonishing.  Logic."

Fury's deduction proves accurate as he pushes open the door of the large metal building.  The cavernous interior is filled with large steel tanks, from which drift fumes that look suspiciously like the work of a dry ice machine.  The Captain wrinkles his nose.

"Something stinks in here."

On each side of the building are flights of stairs, which lead up to a walkway that runs around three of the four walls, and also has two cross-ways, one over each of the giant vats.  A Targ technician walks across one of the walkways, running a hand along the guard-rail as he does so.  Spotting Fury's entrance, he waves his clipboard and clatters down the stairs to ground level.  He speaks, and Archie translates the words for the Captain.

"Good.  You're here.  Fetch some of the sedative from the store room. We're almost ready to serve their next meal."

Fury snaps a salute, eyes darting around for signs of the storeroom.

"Storeroom?" he whispers to Archie.

"There is a door at the rear of the building.  It has a sophisticated locking mechanism.  I suspect this is the room in question."

Fury strides purposefully in that direction, casually adjusting his grip on the disruptor he's carrying.

"You _can_ open this 'sophisticated' lock, right?" he whispers as he walks, "Because otherwise I will have to shoot my way out of here."

"I am sure it will not present any trouble." Archie sounds like he would be rolling his eyes, if he had any.

Reaching the door, Fury stands close to the electronic lock, as if punching in the access code.  Archie scuttles down his arm and extrudes a cable into the mechanism.  There's a rapid series of beeps, then a _click_ as the lock disengages.

"A simple fourth-order recursive polynomial." the robot sniffs his disdain. "Child's play."

Inside the store room are shelf upon shelf of small grey boxes, labelled in Targ.  Fury picks one up and peers at it curiously, then - after a quick glance around to make sure there is no-one watching - shoves it in his backpack.

"Analyse the contents, Archie." he instructs as he picks up another box, "Maybe we can find a way to reverse the effects."

Returning the main chamber, Fury closes the store room door and then hands the box over to the technician.  The Targ takes it, then points to the corner.

"Put it in the pot over there, then fetch one of your compatriots.  We'll serve it immediately."

Moments later, Fury and one of the Targ soldiers waddle out of the shed with a large iron cauldron between them.  The 'pot' (as the technician described it) is nearly four feet in diameter, and filled with a lump grey goo.

"Well now I know what was causing that stench." The Captain sounds like he is fighting the urge to gag, "This smells worse than week-old boiled cabbage."

Whatever Fury's opinion of the food, the Venusian prisoners do not seem to have any qualms about it.  They assemble quickly when the Targ bangs on the cauldron with a ladle, and then briskly file past, each holding out their cupped hands, into which the soldier _splots_ a ladle-full of the goop.

S'Ondra's dirty, ragged form appears amidst the crowd.  Fury frowns, trying to discern if it is 'his' S'Ondra, or her duplicate.  As she draws closer, he hums a few bars of the United Earth anthem, but she makes no reaction other than to shove out her hands for food.  The Targ gives her a ladle's worth, and she moves on.  Seconds later, another S'Ondra appears in the crowd.  Even if he had not already seen the other, Fury would have known instantly that this was the 'original'.  It's obvious from the grace with which she moves, the proud tild of her jaw, the supple curve of her limbs, the -

"Who is that she's with?"

"Unknown, Captain." Archie's synthesised voice replies. "He appears to be a fit and healthy Venusian, of similar age to the Princess."

"Well, what's she doing with him?" Fury wants to know, "This is a delicate mission!  She can't be going around fraternising!"

"Is it not usual to attempt to forge relationships with prospective allies?" Archie wonders.

"Well ..." Fury huffs, "... yes.  But how do we know we can trust him?  He could be a Targ spy!"

"I doubt it.  He seems like a very nice boy.  Much cleaner than most of the others.  He could be a useful ally in our battle with the Targ."

"Well, I hope the battle starts soon." Fury glares at the pair as they take ladles full of the food and move away, "I really feel like killing something."


----------



## Henry

Dun-Dun-*SPLOT!*

Poor Fury - can't even make time with S'Ondra before he's got Arnold Swartzevenusian moving in on her.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Henry said:
			
		

> Dun-Dun-*SPLOT!*
> 
> Poor Fury - can't even make time with S'Ondra before he's got Arnold Swartzevenusian moving in on her.




Is Fury's hope of making time with S'Ondra forever dashed?

No... _there is another!_

-z


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 9*

S'Ondra follows H'Ro into the centre of the congregated Venusians.  As the other prisoners shovel the gruel-like food into their mouths, H'Ro crouches on his haunches and lets the stuff run out of his hands and onto the dirt.  As the Princess follows suit, he wipes his hands on a clump of grass.

"As long as Sky People think we eat food, they think we made dumb like others." H'Ro explains.

"Yes, I get it."

H'Ro flashes a smile.  S'Ondra can't help but notice that it's a rather handsome one.

"Sorry.  Not used to smart person to talk to."

"You're smarter than I expected, too." the Princess admits, her expression thoughtful.  She opens her mouth to say something more, but before she can, H'Ro points over sher shoulder.

"Is that man you came with?"

The Princess turns.  Doctor Gustav has just emerged from the building into which he was earlier escorted.  He winces a little as he makes his way down the steps, and seems to be walking with pronounced care.  S'Ondra looks concerned,

"I hope they didn't hurt him too much."

The camera switches to Fury, as he slops out the last of the Targ goo to the final straggling prisoners.

"Captain," Archie's voice buzzes in his ear, "I am unable to run a full analysis of this substance with the limited facilities of this body.  I require more advanced equipment."

"Where am I going to find _that_?" Fury whispers back.

"Either in the guard barracks or the building from which the Doctor just emerged.  These are the only buildings in which I detect significant electrical fields."

"The Doc?" Fury glances around and spots Gustav as the older man staggers toward the cauldron. "Hang on Archie, I have a plan."

With that, the Captain strides toward Doctor.  Seeing a Targ soldier bearing down on him, Gustav comes to halt, a weary look on his face.

"Don't worry, Doc - it's me." Fury keeps his voice low as he ostentatiously grabs the other man by the shoulder.

"Captain Fury?"Gustav looks surprised, "How did you get here?"

"It's not important right now." Fury assures Gustav, as he spins the Doctor around and sends him frog-marching back the way he came, "Right now, we have to get Archie inside that building, so act like a prisoner being taken for interrogation."

"She's already seen me, you know." Gustav protests weakly, "She couldn't possibly want to see me again for at least fifteen minutes."

"Look, Doc.  Just take one for the team here."

"Trust me, Captain, I already have."

Ignoring the Doctor's protests, Fury marches into the building, past the giant screen of brainwashing, and back toward the Head Scientist's lab.  He rattles off instructions to Archie as he walks.

"If you see the kind of instruments you need, then find somewhere in here to hide until it safe to run the tests.  Hopefully the Doc will still be around and you can get him out to help you.  But don't leave me until after I've been dismissed.  I can't speak this foreign muck, remember, so you have to translate everything I say."

The Head Scientist is just sealing up the last tabs on her encounter suit as the three spacefarers enter the laboratory.

"What is the meaning of this!?" she demands, furiously.  Her chest swells as she draws a deep breath of outrage, "Barging in here without orders!  Outrageous!"

"Buh, buh ..." Fury's opening remarks are not his most insightful.  Finally, he gives himself an almost visible mental shake, "The Base Commander sent the prisoner back.  He says the prisoner is to be confined here indefinitely, or lobotomised before being returned to the camp populace.  The prisoner talks too much."

"Lobotomy would be a waste of his cunning linguistic skills." The Head Scientist muses, in the dirtiest double entendre yet to slip past the BBC board of review. "Put him in the cage over there.  I'll find a use for him later."

Fury does as ordered, pushing Gustav into a narrow, cage-like alcove on the side of the room.  He then strides back to the door and salutes.

"Will that be all?"

"Yes, yes.  Go away." the Head Scientist waves a hand at him distractedly.

"Yes ma'am." Fury snaps off another salute, spins on his heel, and thumbs the switch on the door.  As he does so, Archie scuttles out of his backpack, down his leg, and behind some computer consoles.  The door closes behind him, and the Head Scientist continues working for a few moments.  Then she stops, motionless for a few moments, before murmuring to herself, "Yes, _ma'am_?"

She activates a communicator on the desk before her.  "Commandant?  This is the Head Scientist.  Please take Soldier Bortran into custody.  I have reason to believe we have been infiltrated by an alien spy."


----------



## KidCthulhu

Capellan said:
			
		

> "Lobotomy would be a waste of his cunning linguistic skills." The Head Scientist muses, in the dirtiest double entendre yet to slip past the BBC board of review.




All this and dirty jokes.  Does it get any better?


----------



## Henry

> "She's already seen me, you know." Gustav protests weakly, "She couldn't possibly want to see me again for at least fifteen minutes."
> 
> "Look, Doc. Just take one for the team here."
> 
> "Trust me, Captain, I already have."




Wow! A little extraterrestrial lovin' and the Doc's losing his accent? That must be some good...

...er, effective interrogation!


----------



## Capellan

Hey all.  Just a quick heads up that there will be no update this weekend, and probably a reduced rate of updates from now until mid-July.  I have some other commitments that are likely to cut into my writing time.


----------



## Richards

So...we'll just pretend that this lines up nicely with a BBC writer's strike or something.

Johnathan


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 10*

Archie scuttles his builder bot body behind a computer console.  He deploys the bot's tiny laser cutter, excising a small hole in the rear of the console, then extrudes a wire inside.  Within seconds, he is linked to the camp's computer systems and accessing the available data.  The screen goes blurry as Archie and a metallic female voice converse in voice-over.

"Specify numbers of camp personnel."

"40 guards, 4 science staff, 1 commander."

"How many prisoners?"

"Clarify command."

"Specify numbers of prisoners."

"565 dosed and awaiting treatment.  37 undergoing full treatment as test group."

"Specify nature of treatment."

"Standard combat indoctrination.  Treatment will result in troops with high degree of tractability coupled with natural aggression."

"Specify nature of 'dosing'."

"Standard sedation to reduce volatility and inhibit mental acuity."

"Specify chemical composition of sedative."

"Sedative used is chlordiazepoxide hydrochloride."

"Specify effect of chlordiazepoxide hydrochloride on Targ physiology."

"This chemical acts as a strong tranquilizer on Targ subjects."

"Excellent."

"Clarify command."

Instead, Archie cuts the connection with the Targ computer and scuttles further along wall until he reaches a point where he can safely view the Doctor's cage.

"Doctor." he sets his voice synthesiser to the lowest possible setting, "Do not look around for me."

"Of course I vould not do such a zing." Gustav whispers, stopping himself in mid turn.

"Of course." Archie agrees, with what sounds a lot like robotic sarcasm, "Captain Fury is here as well.  As soon as it is dark, I shall contact him and we shall rescue yourself and the Princess."

"Didn't you hear?" Gustav whispers back, "Ze Captain has been discovered by ze enemy.  Zey must have already captured him by now.  Perhaps vhen it is dark you should release me and I vill go rescue him."

Archie considers this for all of a picosecond,

"I will release Captain Fury, and then we will rescue you." he states firmly, "You are too valuable to be risked unnecessarily.  Besides, your captor may return to interrogate you further."

"Oh, I zink I have given her all she needs for ze day." Gustav sounds just a tiny bit smug, "But if you zink it would be best, Archie ..."

"I do." the robot says, "After all, who knows what horrors the Targ are visiting upon Captain Fury as we speak?"

Which is an excellent excuse for a cut to the exterior of the building.

Captain Fury strides out into the camp, doing his best to look like he belongs.  He makes it only a few paces, however, before Targ gards swarm in from all sides, ringing him in a deadly net of disruptors.  Fury begins to wish he'd spent more time paying attention in Gustav's Targ lessons.  He starts wishing it even more when a Targ commander appears and barks something at him.

When Fury fails to reply, the commander smugly addresses him in Venusian.  The Captain, who only knows about four words in that tongue (none of them suitable for an 8pm broadcast time), stands mute.  With an irritated gesture, the Targ commander waves for him to be taken into custody.

S'Ondra clenches her fists as she watches events unfold.

"We have to help him." she tells H'Ro, "He's one of my friends."

"The guards have lightning sticks." H'Ro reminds her, "They killed many of my tribe with them.  They will kill us too, if we try to fight now."

"You're right." the Princess subsides.  She bites her lip in concern as she watches Fury get dragged off into the guards' barracks.  Trying to distract herself from the Captain's possible fate, she idly seizes on H'Ro's last comment. "What tribe are you from, anyway?"

"I am of the Kelvor."

H'Ro suddenly finds himself thrown to the ground.  S'Ondra straddles him, her hands tightening on his throat and her eyes wild with anegr as she snarls,

"You killed my parents!"

Which sounds like the worst (and thus best) time to switch back to Fury, as he is dragged down a long grey corridor and hurled into a tiny, bare room.  The door slams shut behind him with a hollow _clang_.  Wearily, he slumps against the wall and stares into space for a moment.  After a few seconds of this, however, he reaches into his pocket and produces a small rubber ball.  He stares at it for a moment, then bounces if off the floor into the opposite wall and catches the rebound in one hand.

Thud.  Thud.  Catch.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Tune in next week to see Captain Fury in: _The Box_.

-z


----------



## ragboy

Bump! Why is this on the last page?


----------



## Capellan

Well personally I blame the writers.  Off moonlighting at ITV, from what I heard.  Damned commercial television and its excessive pay scales!

I heard rumors they might have just finished the project they were working on, though.  At least for a while.  So maybe an update in the next week or so.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 11*

Night falls over the camp.

S'Ondra sits in the corner of the room, legs pulled up to her chest and arms wrapped around them.  The Princess's expression is stony, her eyes hard as she glares at H'Ro.

For his part, the young Venusian male is watching his new companion with a confused expression.

"How can I kill your parents?" he asks, for what is obviously not the first time. "I never meet them."

"It wasn't _you_ 'you'.  It was your family 'you'.  You were probably only a few years old, then.  If there was a you at all, back -" S'Ondra breaks off as H'Ro's expression merely becomes more confused, "Look, I already said it was complicated, and I don't want to talk about it anymore."

H'Ro considers this,

"No more talk _and_ no more strangling?"

Despite herself, S'Ondra laughs.

"No more strangling." She agrees.

"Good." H'Ro rises up on his haunches, and peers out of the window, "Dark now.  Time get food with no bad stuff.  Not get body sick."

The Princess nods her agreement and gestures for him to lead on.  H'Ro quickly boosts himself out of the window, then drops down into the shadows outside.  S'Ondra follows, the camera lingering on her shapely legs as she swings them over the window sill.

H'Ro leads the way to the rear of the prisoners' barracks, where a few rather miserable-looking tufts of purple foliage can be seen.  He digs in the dirt for a few seconds before retrieving what looks suspiciously like a beetroot with red splotches painted on it.

"Gunga fruit." He passes the object to S'Ondra, then digs up a second of his own before kicked dirt back into the hole, "Not look like much going on up top but plenty under the surface."

"A bit like Fury." S'Ondra muses, "The first half, anyway."

"Fury?"

"A friend.  The one they caught."

H'Ro nods,

"Do you have many friends?  Strong ones?"

"You'll be surprised that my friends can do." S'Ondra assures him, without actually answering his question.

"If they like you, I am sure they strong."

"Thank you." S'Ondra smiles, genuinely pleased with what is obviously a sincere comment.  She clasps H'Ro's shoulder, "And you as well."

Her touch turns H'Ro slightly toward her, and the Princess is suddenly aware of how close the two of them are sitting, and how honest H'Ro's eyes are and how kissable his lips would be, and --

"Am I interrupting something, Princess?"

S'Ondra squawks and tries to pull away from H'Ro, but loses her balance and ends up sprawling inelegantly in the dirt.

"Archie!" she hisses, fixing the builder-bot's body with a glare as it emerges from under the barracks. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry, Princess." The robot cheerfully lies, "I didn't realise I was.  I'm not using to being small and quiet."

"None of us are." The Princess assures him with obvious sincerity, "The sooner you're back to your old self, the better."

"I have located Captain Fury." Archie continues, apropos of nothing.

"Is he okay?" S'Ondra frets, then immediately plays it cool. "Because, we're going to need him to pilot the ship at some point."

"He appears well." Archie is oblivious. "Nonetheless, we should free him and the Doctor.  We need to come up with a plan to rescue these people."

"Yes, you're right.  I'll come with you." The Princess turns to H'Ro, "Wait here.  We go to free friends, be more powerful."

The Venusian nods silently, and S'Ondra and Archie slip quietly across the camp toward the guard building.

As they scuttle from shadow to shadow, the robot whirrs thoughtfully,

"Who is that young man?"

"H'Ro?" S'Ondra nearly stumbles, "Oh … just another prisoner.  No-one important."

On those words, we cut to Gustav, as he languishes in his cage.  Suddenly, a shadow falls over him.  He looks up to see H'Ro.  The Venusian looms close to the bars, a heavy, jagged rock clutched in one hand.

"Are you the one they call the Doctor?" he hisses.


----------



## Zaruthustran

No H'Ro, _no_!

-z


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 12*

Gustav, who apparently finds nothing untoward about half-naked men approaching him in the middle of the night, nods his head.

"_Ja_.  I am Doctor Gustav."

H'Ro raises the rock in his hand, ready to bring it crashing down -

- and we cut to a rubber ball as it bounces off the wall and into Fury's hand.  The Captain prepares to throw it again.

_tink tink tink_

Fury pauses and cocks his head to one side.

_tink tink tink_

He turns and presses his ear to the wall.

_tink tink tink_

"Who's there?" he whispers hoarsely, directly into the wall.

_tink tink tink_

"Archie?  Is that you?  One tink for yes, two for no."

_tink_

"Is everyone else okay?  Can you get me out of here?"

_tink.  tink_.

Fury frowns.

"Was that one tink twice or two tinks once?  Wait!" he holds up a hand, even though there is no way for Archie to see it. "Don't answer that.  Just answer this: can you get me out of here?"

_tink_

"Then do it." Fury backs away from the wall, confident that any rescue from Archie is going to involve pyrotechnics of some kind.

Sure enough, a fountain of sparks suddenly jets out of the wall -

- and we cut back to a shower of sparks as H'Ro slams his stone down on the padlock of the Doctor's cage.  The metal buckles and tears away from the powerful blow, and the cage door swings open.

"I am H'Ro." The Venusian taps his chest, "Friend of S'Ondra.  We go find her now."

And as the audience howls at all the cheap theatrics this episode employs, the camera switches again.

Clinging to the wall with the builder-bot's feet, Archie uses his laser cutter to complete an oval incision in the building's side.  For a moment the panel sits in place, then it pops out as Fury shoves it free.  It lands on the ground with a lack of impact that screams 'painted polystyrene'.

"Good work, Archie." The Captain nods to the robot. "And the Princess, I see.  Or is this her copy?"

"Hurry up and get out of there so I can put the panel back." S'Ondra's stern reply leaves little doubt as to her identity.  Fury complies, then dusts off his hands as he stands outside.

"So what's the plan?"

We must recover the Targ sedative from the store room." Archie explains, "Then we can drug all the guards in the same manner as they drug the prisoners.  This will leave them unable to resist us and we can seize control of the camp with help from the Princess's friend."

"You made a friend, Princess?" Fury gives a fake smile, "What's his name?"

"That's hardly important right now, Captain." S'Ondra tosses her hair.

The threesome make their way across the camp, ducking from shadow to shadow, and then pause at the door of the large iron shed.  Archie issues instructions.

"There may be guards inside.  Princess S'Ondra and Captain Fury, you need to overpower them before they can raise the alarm.  I will then open the drug storage room so that we can retrieve the Targ sedative."

"Couldn't we just cut our way in from outside, like we did to rescue the Captain?" It's possible S'Ondra puts a little extra emphasis on the word 'rescue'.

"Unfortunately not, Princess." Archie demurs, "That wall of this building is in view of two watch towers.  The risk of detection is too high."

"Let's do it." Fury is anxious for action.

The spacefarers burst into the shed.  A Targ guard standing near the door goes down to a spinning heel kick from S'Ondra.  Fury races onward, leaping up the stairs toward a second guard standing on the gantryway who - in a piece of remarkable narrative fortune - is facing away from the door.

The Captain rushes up the stairs and along the gantry, nearly clothes-lining the surprised guard right over the railing.  The Targ hangs on however and manages to stumble to the side as S'Ondra also comes flying up to tackle him.  This sudden movement makes the Princess's lunge go wide, and she flips right over the railing.  Only a desperate grab of her hand prevents her from falling into the giant vat of brown goo below: her grasping fingers snatch onto the top railing, leaving her dangling by one hand over the twenty foot drop.

Fury takes another swing at the Targ, but the guard is on his toes now, and dodges aside of the blow.  Shouldering the Captain aside, the Targ slams the butt of his disruptor down on S'Ondra's fingers.  The Princess lets go reflexively, but her bruised fingers catch again - this time on the very gantry itself.

"Princess!" Captain Fury drops to his knees and grabs at S'Ondra's arm, trying to pull her up to safety.  The Targ guard takes the opportunity to slam his disruptor over Fury's back, the jagged alien weapon tearing the Captain's shirt to shreds.

Using the help provided by Captain Fury, S'Ondra hauls herself upward and grabs the Targ's ankle with her hand.  A savage yank later, and the guard staggers backward as his foot is pulled out from under him.  Arms flailing, he hits the railing on the other side of the gantry and backflips over it, plunging down with a choked off cry of alarm into the seething brown goo.

Fury grans the guard's disruptor, which fell safely onto the gantry floor, and the two spacefarers rush back down the stairs to meet Archie at the door to the drug storage room.  The robot quickly has the door unlocked.  The three adventurers are just about to enter the room when -

"_Leibchen_?  Is zat you?"

"Father?" the Princess turns to find Gustav peering into the shed.  Quickly, she rushes over and embraces him in a fierce hug. "How did you get free?"

"Your tall Venusian friends wiz all ze muscles came to help me." Gustav points into the darkness outside, "He is keeping vatch for us."

"Quickly!" Fury interrupts the reunion, and not incidentally the praise of H'Ro. "We need to get this drug out of here!"

All three humanoid crew members snatch up a box of the grey space sedative, under the directions of Archie, and then the four of them head out and begin to make their way back across the camp toward the guard barracks, sneaking as best they can with the heavy boxes in their arms.

They have made it only halfway back, however, when the blinding beam of a searchlight shines down from one of the Targ watch towers, illuminating S'Ondra in its baleful glare.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Not just "sedative". It's _space_ sedative.

-z


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> the jagged alien weapon tearing the Captain's shirt to shreds.




As per contractual agreement, I believe. 

I still laugh when I think about William Shatner copying this policy for Star Trek.


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 13*

There's a Targish shout of alarm, and then green disruptor fire bursts out of the darkness, stitching its way across the ground toward the Princess.  She's caught, pinned in the light with nowhere to run -

- and then someone slams into her, knocking her sideways into the darkness just as the disruptor blasts cut into the area where she stood.

S'Ondra rolls, heaving the heavy body of her - saviour?  assailant? - aside.  Her hands come away sticky, and even in the darkness she can see they are covered in blood.

She hears Fury yell, and disruptor blasts flash up from the ground to take out the Targ searchlight.  Darkness falls, but it is only for a second.  Light blink on the from the other parts of the camp, tracking across the ground in an attempt to find the prisoners, and alarms begin to howl.

Whoever struck her can't have been Fury … S'Ondra's chest grows tight.

"Father?" she calls softly, her voice catching as she crawls to the body sprawled a few feet from her own.  Moonlight gleams on bare skin as she rolls the man over.

"H'Ro."

Relief it is not Gustav wars with guilt over what has happened to her Venusian friend.

H'Ro stirs, his eyes cracking open at her voice.  He gives a faint smile, then coughs.  The sound is wet and harsh.

"Lie still." S'Ondra urges, "My father might be able to help -"

"It is too late." H'Ro shakes his head, "I go to my fathers.  The weapons of the Sky People are mighty … yet I believe _you_ can defeat them.  Save my people, S'Ondra.  You are our only hope."

The young Venusian gives one last cough, then lies still.

"Damn it!" S'Ondra slams her fists on the ground, then scrambles to her feet. "Fury, you fool!  Don't fire!"

"What?" the Captain sounds startled.

"If the Targ know there are people in the camp who can use their weapons, they'll be on alert!" the Princess reminds him.  Tracking Fury from the sound of his voice, she grabs the weapon out of his hands and hurls it toward H'Ro's body. "Maybe this way they'll think he was the only one."

"So what do _we_ do?" the Captain demands as the two of them dash for the cover of one of the buildings, "Hide?"

"Yes." S'Ondra whispers vehemently, "Get back in your cell and have Archie seal up the cut he made in the wall.  If you're still in there they'll never suspect you had anything to do with this."

"What about you and I, _leibchen_?" Gustav scurries out of the darkness, "Ze lock on my cage at ze laboratory is broken.  I do not zink zey will believe I did not leave it."

"Go with Fury." S'Ondra directs, "Take the drugs as well.  You can hide under his bed.  They won't look for you in their own cells … and if you've disappeared, they might think all this disturbance was just you escaping, and send some of their forces out to look for you."

"Zat might just work!" Gustav agrees.  He grabs one of the boxes of space sedative and staggers off toward the barracks building.

Fury goes to pick up the other boxes, then stops and lays a hand on S'Ondra's shoulder,

"He knew what he was doing, Princess."

"That doesn't make it any better." S'Ondra grates, then waves him away, "Get moving, Captain.  You need to be back in your cell before they check it."


----------



## Capellan

*"Total Escape" - Part 14*

Archie scuttles along the corridor, a crude syringe strapped to his back.  Abruptly, the tiny robot skids to a halt and skitters up the wall.  As he presses himself into the corner of the wall and ceiling, there is the sound of heavy footfalls, and then two Targ soldiers walk across the shot, each holding a disruptor at the ready.

Archie sags down in relief, then scuttles down to the floor and along the corridor once more, until he reaches a plain grey door.  A keypad with alien symbols is set into the wall beside this door.  Archie swiftly clambers up to it.  Clamping himself in position, he extrudes a wire into the pad.  There is a soft sequence of _beep_s, lights flicker on the pad, and then the door hisses open.

Archie scurries inside, and door slides shut behind him.

We switch perspectives to Fury's cell, where the Captain is lying on his bunk, idly whistling a jaunty tune and tossing a small ball up and down in the air.

"_Psssst_, Captain." Gustav says in what he obviously believes is a whisper, "How long has it been since Archie left?"

"Not more than a couple of hours, Doc." Fury's breaks off from whistling to softly reply. "He said the Targ weren't due to replace their suits' food supplies until tomorrow morning.  That's a good eight hours off, yet.  You'll just have to hang loose until then."

"Zat is easier said zan done, Captain Fury."

Fury rolls his eyes,

"You just need to lie there, Doc.  I know it's uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be too difficult.  What's the problem?"

Gustav's whisper rises a plaintive half-octave,

"I need to use ze little scientist's room."

Mercifully, the camera cuts away once more.

This time we go to S'Ondra, who lies on her bunk in the prisoner barracks.  Like Fury, she lies on her back, but unlike him she is still and silent, staring unblinkingly at the ceiling above.

Light splashes onto the Princess from the window beside her, and as we watch that light begins to fade, the shot darkening until S'Ondra's skin is tinged with midnight blue, then slowly lightens again as the red flare of dawn creeps over her.

Throughout it all, the Princess does not blink.

Without warning, S'Ondra sits upright, slides off the bunk, and strides across the room.  Not sparing a glance for the vacant-faced Venusians lying on beds around her, she opens the door slightly and peers out.  Two Targ can be seen wandering aimlessly in the open, disruptors listlessly hanging from their hands.  The Princess gives a grim look of satisfaction, then slips out of the door and dashes across to the nearest Targ.  The alien invader barely seems to notice her until she rears back and smashes him down with a sweeping kick.  Scooping up the fallen disruptor, she turns to the second of the pair: who stands watching her silently, while swaying slightly.  A crushing blow with the butt of the gun, and this Targ too is sprawled on the ground.

The seizure of the camp continues to go smoothly.  The Targ are found sprawled listlessly at their posts, or shambling quietly about in the guard barracks.  In fact, the only difficulty arises when the space adventurers discuss what to do with their currently docile captives.

"We can't just kill them all in cold blood." S'Ondra admits, "No matter how much we might want to."

"But we can't just leave them." Fury nods his agreement, "If one of them recovered and called in air support before we got to the caves, all these Venusians would be mowed down like corn in a field."

Archie has a solution.

"We can replenish the food dispensers in their suits with sedated supplies before we leave." He suggests, "That way they will remain docile and not undertake any action for the next three days.  Even though our larger group will make slower time going back to the caves, we should be safely under cover before the alarm is raised."

"Provided none of the other Targ come to check out the camp in the mean time."

"I should be able to do somezing about zat.  I have checked ze Targ computers and ze commandant is required to make a status report every twenty-seven point six hours.  It should not be too difficult to fabricate a false message vich vill broadcast on schedule stating zat as is well."

"Sounds like a plan, Doc." Fury nods approvingly, then frowns, "Why every twenty-seven point whatever hours?"

"I believe zat is the length of a standard Targ day." Gustav conjectures, "Certainly zat is ze cycle on which ze Targ mothership is operating."

"Okay, go ahead and set that up, Doc.  Archie, S'Ondra and I will get the Venusians ready to travel."

"Actually …" Gustav clears his throat, "Zere was one ozzer matter I wished to raise.  I would like to take ze Targ Head Scientist back to ze caves with us."

"What?" S'Ondra looks at her step-father in confusion, "But … why?"

"Got yourself a girlfriend, Doc?" Fury jests, laughing at the thought.  Unnoticed on the floor, Archie whimpers and tries to burn out his own memory codex.

"Not at all!" Gustav protests a little too much, "However, she is ze first Targ we have encountered who seems to deviate at all from zere standard doctrine and beliefs.  Also, she has advanced knowledge of Targ physiology.  We should be able to learn a lot from her."

"How are we going to get her to talk, Doc?  Space Force doesn't go in for torture."

"I will zink of something."

"Okay." Fury shrugs, "But she's _your_ responsibility, Doc."


_*Next time, on "Q-Ship" ...*
"The crew of the _Pathfinder_ have rescued the Venusians, but Doctor Gustav's new prisoner proves to be a serpent in their new Eden:"_

We see the Targ Head Scientist, in full encounter suit, as she stands at the bars to a crudely-made cell.

"You're a failure." She rails, "A fool!  None of your companions need or respect you!  Just look at how they treat you!"

Fury barges past the Doctor, carrying a large box in his hands.

S'Ondra hurries away when she sees her step-father approach.

"You're the reason they're all stuck here!  It's your fault!  Your fault!  You fool!"

Gustav, looking haggard and broken, buries his face in his hands.

And then a blue radiance falls upon him, and he looks up into the light as a glowing figure offers him her hand.

_"Join us next time, on Q-Ship, when Doctor Gustav experiences:  *A Venusian Christmas Carol*."_


----------



## Zaruthustran

Love the dialogue in this one, but if next episode is anything like the Star Wars Christmas Special... 

-z


----------



## Plane Sailing

As long as they don't name the cave Bedford Falls...


----------



## Capellan

Zaruthustran said:
			
		

> Love the dialogue in this one, but if next episode is anything like the Star Wars Christmas Special...




Of course it won't be!  I picked a _good_ director to rip-off ... I mean, "pay homage to".


----------



## Capellan

*DVD Trivia Extras*

In the original radio scripts, the Targ doctor was male, and his interest in Gustav was cerebral, rather than physical: he wanted to dissect Gustav's brain.  The _Q-Ship_ TV show writers were keen to make the most of not being stuck with the radio plays' lizard-like aliens!

The 'plant-monster' was originally intended to be a much more fearsome opponent, but the ill-conceived  costume provoked such hilarity from the cast that it was decided to minimise its exposure in the episode.  An outtake reel at the BBC Christmas Party that year showed Gustav and S'Ondra's actors taunting the costumed stunt man with a rendition of "Tulips from Amsterdam".

"Astonishing.  Logic." was one of the most contentious lines in Q-Ship fandom during the first year of the show.  Some argued that it was two sentences, illustrating Archie's surprise that Fury had used reasoning to solve a problem (instead of charm and/or an atomic pistol).  Others said that it was one sentence: "Astonishing logic." and simply conveyed Archie's appreciation of the Captain's quick thinking.  This second group were, of course, delusional.


----------



## Capellan

In lieu of a real update (since I haven't written one yet), I wanted to make a brief diversion to mention one of the things that makes running Q-Ship so much fun.

You see, the premise of the game allows me to get away with stuff I could simply never do in a D&D campaign.  Because my players know they're playing actors in a show at the same time as they are playing their characters (and because they are supremely cool people, it has to be said) I can freely 'mess' with the setup of the game and the character relationships, knowing that everyone will just take the ball and run with it, rather than being upset that I changed some element of the beloved Monk/Ranger/Rogue/Ninja of the Shiny Pants they've been playing for four years.

The reason I mention this is because we're about to embark on what would - as part of a D&D game - have run a very high risk of complete collapse.  I had a guest player in a major starring role, three radically re-written 'regular' PCs (you'll learn more about them later), and a plot that was the bastard child of Flash Gordon and Frank Capra.

That it remains one of my favorite sessions of the campaign so far is a testament to the players at the table that day.

And with that little muse out of the way, I promise to post part 1 of the episode within the next five days


----------



## ledded

Just wanted to pop in and say that I had a chance to do some gaming with Cap this weekend in Birmingham, AL; he was in town visiting and came by to hang out and swap some gaming war stories with our group.  It was a lot of fun, thanks for dropping in with us Cap.  Darned brilliant roleplayer, that Cap.  If you havent ever played with him and get a chance to, do it.


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 1*

"You're useless!"

The Targ Head Scientist spits the words with vituperative hatred.  Dressed once more from head to toe in her encounter suit, she dominates the screen as she lashes out verbally, thrusting an accusing finger right into the camera. 

"You're just a jumped up monkey, scrabbling in the dirt and playing with things your feeble mind cannot comprehend."

"Zat is not true -" Gustav's voice protests weakly from off-screen, and the camera swivels to show that the Targ and the human face each other through a primitive set of bars made from Venusian bamboo. "- I haf been called a genius by -"

"By others of your pathetic species." The Targ sneers, "Even a half-wit like you would seem a genius to them.  You're too stupid even to realise that you are doomed.  You are condemning everyone here to death with your foolish notions of fighting against the Targ Totality.  All resistance will be crushed.  You should surrender now and live a life of useful servitude to your betters.  At least then you would have a purpose.  Here you have none."

"I have a purpose!"

"Really?  What is it?" the Head Scientist cocks her head to one side, "Getting in the way while the others do the work?  Or haven't you noticed that they don't even trust you to help them prepare for their ridiculous celebration?"

Right on cue, Fury strolls into shot with a large box marked _Xmas Decorations_ in his arms.

"What's the matter, Doc?" he asks cheerfully, "One of your experiments blow up again?"

"Ah, Captain." Gustav tries to wave the other man to a stop, "Perhaps I can assist wiz ze decorations?"

"Got it covered, Doc." Fury doesn't even slow down, "No need for you to strain yourself."  He disappears out of shot as a dejected looking Gustav turns to find the Targ Scientist regarding him with folded arms.

"See what I mean?" she gloats.

"Captain Fury!" S'Ondra's voice comes faintly from off-screen, "We do _not_ need any more mistletoe!"

"Face it, monkey-man." The Targ Scientist sneers, "Even your own companions think you're worthless.  Who in their right mind would want anything to do with you?"

The camera leaps suddenly to the darkness of space.  The red globe of Venus spins slowly in the bottom left corner of the screen.  The space at the centre of the screen seems to shimmer for a moment, and suddenly a nearly spherical silver object appears.

The camera swoops down toward the object until we can make out windows on its side.  There's a slight jump in the footage as the shot clumsily cuts from the model to a set, and we peer through the windows into what is obviously an alien spaceship.

A figure with blue-grey skin and close-cropped black hair sits with her back to us as we float inside the vessel.  Her hands play across the crystalline surface in front of her, and strange patterns of light flicker in apparently random fashion.

"Another system overrun by the Targ." She sighs, turning slightly so that we catch a glimpse of small grey antennae jutting from her forehead. "I must secure another specimen for the museum, before the people of this world are also destroyed."

Studying the panel in front of her, the alien continues her plot-revealing exposition.

"The sensors detect an exceptional specimen on this planet.  A mind more powerful than any I have seen before … though his thought patterns seem a little erratic." She frowns, then shrugs the issue aside. "I must contact him with my brainwave communication."

The alien presses her fingertips to her forehead, closes her eyes, and furrows her brow as if concentrating hard.  The screen shimmers in a wibbly-wobbly special effect, then fades to black.

"Is somebody zere?" Gustav walks into the shot, which is pitch dark except for himself.  He looks around, as if unsure of where he is, then jumps violently as a disembodied blue head appears in the darkness.

"I am Larathra of the Sarathi." The alien woman introduces herself, "And I am speaking to you through the power of my mind."

"Telepathy?" The Doctor gasps, "Zen ze capacity of your brain must be truly extraordinary."

"No more so than yours." Larathra demurs, "Indeed, Doctor Gustav, it is the power of your own mind that has brought me to you."

"How do you know my name?"

"A mind as powerful as yours is very hard to shut out." Larathra explains, "Some of your thoughts slipped into my mind.  I sense that you are distressed.  Is it due to the Targ invasion of your planet?"

"In a way." Gustav hedges.

"Then I have wonderful news." Larathra would clap her hands together in glee if she had a body in this scene. "I offer you the chance to leave this place of pain and hatred and come with me to my museum."

"Your museum?"

Larathra nods,

"Many centuries ago, my people were conquered by the Targ.  We were more advanced than they, but we were fewer in number and possessed few warships.  Aggression was never our way.  I alone escaped the destruction in my shielded vessel.  Since then, I have searched the universe for other races under the assault of the Totality, and rescued one exceptional specimen from each, so that their race will never be totally destroyed."

"I do not feel very exceptional right now ." The Doctor gloomily responds.

"Nonetheless, you are still the specimen I desire."

Gustav considers this,

"So ven you say you would like me to come to your museum, you mean as an exhibit, not as a guest?"

"I assure you, you will be an honoured guest." Larathra shakes her head, "My goal is to conserve and honour a remnant of your species, not put you on display."

"But I would be stuck zere, yes?"

"Well, yes."

"I cannot leave my friends." Gustav shakes his head, "Zough I am not sure zey would notice I was gone."

"You seem depressed." Larathra observes, "My experience is that certain activities increase the male sense of worth.  Perhaps you should kill something or mate with a female?"

"Zat would only make zings worse." Gustav gets a pained expression on his face as he thinks of the Targ head scientist.

"May I meet with you in person?" Larathra asks, "I believe I can show you that you are a superior specimen."

"If you insist." Gustav shrugs.

"Excellent.  My sensors show some unoccupied tunnels to the west of your position.  I will meet you there."

"One thing first!" Gustav holds up a hand.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Vich way is west of here?"

"To your left, Doctor."

Larathra disappears, and the wibbly wobbly screen effect dumps Gustav back in the tunnel hear the Targ scientist's cell.

"- and you smell funny -"

Ignoring the Targ's ongoing diatribe, Gustav turns and walks away, eventually arriving in a tunnel where the walls are studded with silvery metallic growths.  Larathra stands waiting for him, a strange white and orange object in her hands.

"This is the Reality Interface Decision Engine." She gestures with the object, "It allows me to view alternate possibilities in the time stream."

"You mean some kind of alternate reality drive?" Gustav gives a grim snort, "I already have one of zose."

"Really?" Larathra looks impressed, "You are even more brilliant than I imagined."

"Not really." The Doctor demures, "I did not realise what it did until after I had used it."

"Oh my." Larathra looks concerned, "Is that why you are so distressed?"

Gustav half-shrugs, half-nods.

"It is ze place vere zings started to go wrong.  When I created ze Q-Drive."

"Very well, then I shall use the RIDE to transport us to a reality where you never created your 'Q-Drive'." Larathra presses some buttons on her device, "Perhaps seeing something of that reality will allow you to better understand your own abilities."

As she speaks, the alien presses one last button.  A high-pitched whine rises from the RIDE, which begins to vibrate in Larathra's hand.  The whine echoes off the metallic objects in the tunnel walls, and they too begin to vibrate.  Gustav claps his fingers over his ears as Larathra begins to look concerned.  She lifts a hand to deactivate the RIDE -

_*FIZZZ-ACK!*_

- and the RIDE explodes with a flash and a shower of sparks.

Everything goes white.

.

.

.

.

And then the camera fades up one Gustav's face.  His features are relaxed, his eyes closed.

The camera rises, and we see that the Doctor and Larathra are lying on a field of red and purple Venusian grass.  The blackened RIDE lies near Larathra's outstretched hand.

A cloud of smoke drifts over the two unconscious travellers, and the camera zooms upward, so that we can see the whole field.

Dozens of bodies are sprawled on the cratered and muddy plain.  Some are human, some are Venusian ... and all are dead.


----------



## Zaruthustran

It's a Wonderful Life... _in SPACE!_


----------



## Plane Sailing

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> As long as they don't name the cave Bedford Falls...




Do I get a prize


----------



## Plane Sailing

Capellan said:
			
		

> "You seem depressed." Larathra observes, "My experience is that certain activities increase the male sense of worth. Perhaps you should kill something or mate with a female?"




I loved this line


----------



## Capellan

I can't take any credit for the "kill something or mate with a female" line -- that's a direct quote from the 'guest star' player who played Larathra.  The whole table cracked up 

Gaming with ledded and the Medallions guys was lots of fun.  Should anyone else make it to Birmingham, you should look them up!


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 2*

Gustav's eyes flutter open.

"Ach, _mein_ aching head." He touches a hand to his face, then suddenly sits bolt upright. "Vot is this?"

"My apologies, Doctor." Larathra looks up from where she is pensively examining the RIDE, which appears blackened and scorched. "Some substance in the cavern where we met appears to have caused a feedback look in my device.  This accounts for the somewhat bumpy ride we had."

"Bumpy?" Gustav's bristly eyebrows rise, "Zat was like Captain Fury as his most enthusiastic.  'Bumpy' does not begin to descri - oh my!" he breaks off as he realises how their surroundings have changed. "This is terrible!"

"I shall have the RIDE fixed soon, Doctor -"

"Not zat!" Gustav interrupts, "Zis!" he gestures at the field around them.  The ground is pitted with shell holes and scorch marks, and dozens of bodies lie sprawled in the mud. "Humans!  And Venusians!  All dead!" he hurries over to the nearest group of bodies and kneels to examine them. "From ze looks of it, dead at each ozzers hands!"

The Doctor whirls to face Larathra,

"Vot is the meaning of zis?  Humans and Venusians have never fought each ozzer!  It is as ludicrous to zink of as zat Germany would declare war on France!"

"We are in a different reality now, Doctor." Larathra reminds him, "Something must have happened here that caused a war to occur.  It's quite distressing.  Why must other races be so violent?"

"Archie!"

"Archie?  What do you mean, Doctor?"

But Gustav isn't paying any attention to Larathra right now.  Instead he is hurrying across the battlefield, stumbling in holes, and splashing through muddy puddles, toward a large metallic object near the edge of the nearby jungle.

The object is a robot, fully eight feet tall, with a broad chest, a sleek helmet-like head, and  powerful looking arms that end in razor-like claws.  Atop each arm is a wide-barrelled weapon of some kind, the nozzle of which is blackened and burnt.  Stencilled on the robot's chest are four large red letters:

R-CHI

And beneath those, in smaller black type:

_Robot: Combat (Heavy Incendiary)_

"It is Archie!" Gustav exults, "I knew I recognised him!"  This line leaves the audience scratching their heads, as the robot looks nothing like the blocky, ungainly Archie. "Ach!  He has been damaged!  If only I had my toolbelt wiz me."

"I have a tool you could use, Doctor." Larathra produces a silver ball about four inches across.  Gustav takes it from her and examines it curiously.

"How does it vork?"

"It is an Omnitool." Larathra explains, "You simply need to think of the tool you desire -" the Omnitool immediately turns into an egg whisk in Gustav's hand.  Larathra looks confused, "I am not familiar with that tool, Doctor.  What does it do?"

"I vas just testing." The Omnitool blinks back into its original shape as Gustav's bald skull gets slightly pinker.  He frowns for a moment and the Omnitool transforms into a screwdriver.  The Doctor them pulls open a hatch on Archie's chest, revealing lots of complex wiring and a small diagnostics monitor.  Gustav immediately plunges half of his upper body inside the robot.

"Ah yes, ze main cable needs to be re-routed here ... and ze secondary logic circuit needs to be disabled to allow for ze additional hardware specifications I am adding ..."

"Doctor." Larathra speaks.

"Just a moment, please." Gustav waves a hand for quiet, "Zis is a very delicate operation."

A new voice; deep, male and aggressive; breaks into the conversation.

"Get away from the robot, you Nusi saboteur, or we'll fry your carcass where you stand!"

"_Was_?" Gustav straightens and turns around, a bad order to do things in as he bashes his forehead on the side of Archie's hatch.  Rubbing the rapidly-forming bruise, he stares at the newcomers.  There are six of them, all sturdily built humans in what looks suspiciously like surplus British Army camouflage suits with Space Force insignia sewn on.  The leader, a crew-cutted, square-necked fellow with a surly expression and a large gun, which he points at the two reality refugees.

"Ah!  Space Force!" Gustav smiles happily at the humans, "Zis is good luck.  Ve are travellers, and zere seems to be something wrong wiz ..." he considers how to describe the RIDE, "... wiz ze device zat controls our craft.  Perhaps you could help us?"

The human leader grunts.

"You 'eard me: Get away from the robot, or I'll blow your bony butt away from it myself."

Gustav blinks.

"I don't think they wish to help us, Doctor." Larathra observes.

"Zis is ridiculous!" Gustav protests, "I vas merely trying to repair Archie!" he gestures with the Omnitool, which has returned to the form of a silver ball.

"Look out sarge!  He's got a grenade!" One of the soldiers snaps a gun up to his shoulder, ready to fire.

"_Put the grenade down!  *Now!*_"

"But zis is not ..."

"_[/b]Grenade!  Down!  Now![/b]_"

Gustav sighs and slowly crouches, placing the Omnitool on the ground.

"Zis is really unnecessary, we are not your enemies ..."

"Anyone in the field who ain't Space Force is either a Nusi, a damn Nusi-sympathiser, or ..." the Sergeant looks at Larathra with a puzzled expression, "... or whatever the heck she is."

"I am a Sarathri, from the 19th Quadrant of the Elocin Cloud Systems, some forty two _glintar_ from here.  My name is -"

"*Shut up!*" the Sergeant bellows.  He points to his men, "Anderson, Hodges, shoot 'em if either of 'em talk again.  Pieterhoff, slap 'em in electrocuffs.  We'll take 'em back to base and see what the Commander wants done with 'em."

The Space Force troops lock Gustav and Larathra in a pair of large silver handcuffs each, and hustle them into a nearby jeep.  The Sergeant guns the engine, and the vehicle bounces out of shot.

We pan back to the silent battlefield, and the still form of Archie.

_Beep_.

The diagnostics monitor blinks into life, and text starts to scroll by.



System initialising.

Accessing core program.

Core program loaded.  Core program: Military operations.

Accessing secondary program.

Secondary program loaded.  Secondary program: Domestic Duties.

Error!  Hardware unit EGWSK001 not found.

System initialisation failed.

Accessing basic command routine.

Basic command routine loaded.  Basic Command: Protect Alois Gustav.

Command initiated.​


----------



## Zaruthustran

Love the old-school system type. But I seem to recall it being amber...

-z


----------



## Plane Sailing

Zaruthustran said:
			
		

> Love the old-school system type. But I seem to recall it being amber...




It was always green on black on the IBM 3270's when I was using TSO for mainframe programming... amber was only ever on those posh PC thingies back then IMX


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 3*

The office is large and luxuriously furnished with the most modern chrome and orange-upholstered chairs.  A wide metal desk dominates one side of the room.  Hung on the wall above the desk is a huge Space Force shield, emblazoned with the words 'Venusian Expeditionary Force'.

Commander John Fury flicks through the sheaf of papers on the desk in front of him.  The Commander's black and silver uniform shines in the office's fluorescent lights, the epaulettes of his insignia gleaming with the bright sheen of the compulsively polished.

A device on the Commander's desk lets out a warbling tone, and Fury looks up from the papers he has been inspecting.

"Enter." Fury closes the report.  Before he does, we catch a glimpse of what lies within the folder.  The page is headed *Prisoner 08924-A T'Celle*.  The name is not familiar to the viewer, but the face in the photo below is instantly recognizable: Princess S'Ondra.

A door slides open and two soldiers escort in Gustav and Larathra.

"Fury!" Gustav exclaims in pleasure, "At last!  Tell zese people zat I vas not doing anyzing wrong!"

"Silence, prisoner." Commander Fury ignores the old man's ravings and turns to his men, "Report, Sergeant."

"Sah!  We found these two at the battle site, tampering with one of the R-CHI units.  Saboteurs I expect, sah.  Nusi sympathisers, sah."

"Captain Fury!" Gustav protests, "You must listen to _mmmmmph_." A meaty soldier's hand covers his mouth.  Fury nods his approval of the man's actions.

"We found them using these items on the robot, sah." The Sergeant produces Larathra's RIDE and Omnitool devices and shows them to the Commander. "This one seems to be damaged, sah, but it may be a weapon.  The other is possibly a grenade or other explosive."

"Take both items to Q Branch for analysis and secure the prisoners in the cell block." He instructs.

"Sah." The Sergeant salutes, and Larathra and the (still _mmmmmphing_) Doctor Gustav are unceremoniously removed from the room.

Fury stands silently for a moment, staring after the departing group.  Then he makes his way back to the desk, takes a seat, and re-opens the file.  Slowly, he reaches out and traces his hand over S'Ondra's picture.

"What is it about you?" he asks himself.

The camera switches to a darkened room with plain concrete walls.  The only illumination comes from a small, barred opening in the door.

The woman who calls herself T'Celle sits on one of the four bunk beds in the room, her back against the wall.  There are smudges of smoke on her face, and her familiar figure is swathed in a shapeless grey prison uniform, but the stubborn jaw and the fierce eyes are all S'Ondra.

Translucent images overlay the screen: scenes of Venusians running and fighting.  An explosion.  S'Ondra knocked to the ground.  Cruel, laughing Space Force soldiers.  Then Commander Fury, a look of compassion on his face.

S'Ondra scowls and clenches a fist in the air.  The image shatters.

"Fool." She mutters to herself.  Then her head jerks up at the sound of footsteps nearing her cell.

The door swings open and Gustav and Larathra are unceremoniously pushed inside.

"Enjoy yer time with yer Nusi friends, traitor." A voice sneers from offscreen, before the door slams shut once more.

"Ach, _mein_ knee." Gustav mutters, rubbing his leg where it has struck one of the cast iron bed frames.  Then he glances up, and his expression transforms into a beam of pleasure. "_Leibchen!_  Vhat are you doing here?  Vhat's going on?  Vhy is Fury so militaristic?"

S'Ondra gives the human a suspicious glare, her eyes flicking from him to his bizarre companion.

"Who are you?" she demands, suspiciously.  "Keep away from me, human!"

"But S'Ondra ... _leibchen_ -"

"My name is T'Celle!" S'Ondra snarls, after a momentary blanch of horror at hearing her true name, "I don't know what your game is, human scum, but you must be some sort of spy trying to get me to betray the Princess!  Well forget it!  She'll never give up the fight to free Venus, and neither will I!"

"Doctor Gustav is not your enemy." Larathra attempts to soothe the situation, "In fact, in our own reality, he is your good friend.  You see, we are travellers from an alternate dimension.  Something went wrong with my RIDE, and we seem to be stuck here since those unfortunately aggressive humans took it away from me so I couldn't repair it."

S'Ondra gapes at the crazy alien, then closes her mouth in a sneer.

"That's got to be the most ludicrous cover story I ever heard!"

"That's what the humans said." Larathra observes sadly.  Then she brightens, "Perhaps if I explained it to them again, they would understand.  Do you think diagrams would help?"

"The only thing to do with humans is to _kill_ them." S'Ondra spits the words. "This is war!  A war _they_ started!"

"Why did zey do zat?" Gustav asks.  He shakes his head, "Zere was never any hostility between our peoples in my own dimension."

"You'd have to ask _them_." S'Ondra's voice is bitter, "They landed and attacked us.  Kelvor lackeys."

"Kelvor?" the Doctor looks thoughtful, "So zey are in power here as well?"

"Only because the humans fight for them!"

"Perhaps if I could get some paper from the guard." Larathra muses, "And write a clear, logical explanation of our presence.  They would have to understand, then."

S'Ondra laughs bitterly,

"The only thing humans understand is violence.  All they do is kill."

"It seems ze Venusians are doing zeir share of ze killing, too." Gustav notes.

"We fight to defend our planet!  The humans are the invaders here!"

"It is a terrible situation." Gustav notes glumly. "And it is not one ve can correct from inside a prison cell.  Larathra, wiz our combined intelligences, zere must be some way ve can escape."

"I am open to suggestions, Doctor, but at the moment I have none of my own." Larathra confesses.

Just then, the cell door explodes off its hinges.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Luckily, in this dimension "I am open to suggestions, Doctor, but at the moment I have none of my own." is the verbal component to the spell _Summon Deus Ex Machina_.

-z


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 4*

Commander Fury is grim-faced as he walks along a cement corridor.  Two guards in Space Force uniforms salute as he approaches a large pair of double doors.  Fury nods to them as the doors swing open, then he steps inside.  As the doors close, the camera drifts up to a sign in the wall:

*Space Force Disciplinary Review Board*

We cut inside, where the Commander takes his place at a spot-lighted circle in the floor.  An arc of high, imposing desks arcs around him like a closing fist.

"Commander Jonathon Fury, Space Force Number 1973-D-21-EC." The stentorian voice echoes from one of the dark shapes behind the desks, "You have been brought here to answer charges pertaining to your treatment of prisoner 998-B84, given name T'Celle, captured two days ago while engaged in treason against the Venusian government and murder of Space Force peacekeepers."

Fury almost, but not quite, prevents himself from reacting to the name.

"Sir ..." He interrupts, then pauses.  The shadowy figure waves what is presumably a hand to indicate he may continue, "_None_ of my prisoners have been mistreated while in my custody, including this T'Celle woman -"

"Mistreatment is not the cause for Space Force's concern, Commander." A new voice breaks in.  This one is female, and has a far more accusatory tone, "Quite the opposite.  Can you explain why this woman's files have not been forwarded by your office to the Venusian authorities?  Per our agreement with the Kelvor, they are to be advised of all new prisoners within 24 hours."

"It must be a clerical oversight." Fury contends, "Daily reports have been issued, as instructed."

"This young woman seems to have been overlooked a _lot_, Commander." The hostile voice continues.  There is a shuffling of paper. "I see no record of her bring reported to Zed branch, either."

Fury shifts his weight.

"Zed branch's methods -"

"Which are scientifically formulated for maximum effectiveness."

"- have resulted in several deaths." Fury ignores the interruption. "I didn't think we could take that risk with this prisoner."

"Really?  Why is that, Commander?"

Fury pauses, obviously considering his next words.

"I believe the prisoner may be more important than she appears." He begins at last, "Too important to risk even the 'statistically nominal risk of premature death' that sending her to Zed branch would entail."

"Can you explain why you believe this, Commander?"

"I can't name my source for security reasons." Fury stonewalls, "Their life may -"

"Commander, _really_." The hostile speaker breaks in once more, "Everyone in this room has 'Most Secret' clearance.  A clearance you yourself do not possess, yet you cannot share the name of your informant?  Your failure to advise the proper authorities of this prisoner's capture have already put you on thin ice.  Were it not for the fact that you did at least add her to the prison files, it would almost look as if you were trying to conceal her presence entirely."

Fury's face goes cold.

"Just what are you insinuating, Ma'am?"

"I'm not insinuating anything, _Commander_." The voice emphasises Fury's inferior rank, "I'm merely pointing out how the matter could appear to an outside observer.  I'm sure no-one here is suggesting that a decorated war hero such as yourself would be doing anything that skirts so close to treason."

"Officers, please." The original voice sounds pained at the confrontational turn of events, "If we can turn our attention back to the question of what should be done with this young lady?  Excellent." The voice sounds pleased with itself as it acknowledges Fury's nod. "Commander, if this prisoner is as important as you believe, would it not be wise for us to remove her to an off-world holding facility?  The Mission City Memorial Penitentiary would seem a fitting site."

"I don't believe that would be wise, Sir." Fury speaks up, "If the prisoner is important, as I believe, it is inevitable that the Venusians will attempt to rescue her.  That will confirm my suspicions."

"Or perhaps it will simply confirm _mine_, Commander." Fury's antagonist interrupts.  As she does, she steps out from behind the row of desks, emerging party into the light.  She is an attractive blonde, though her good looks are marred somewhat by a puckered scar that seals shut her right eye.  Her space force uniform is trimmed in black, and a Greek 'Omega' symbol is imprinted on the left side of her chest.

"Darla." Fury nods, "I thought I recognized your shrewish tones."

"Commander Fury, control your remarks!  Colonel Gregg, please explain this outburst!" The original speaker seems quite distressed.

"I've just received video footage from the prison." Colonel Gregg replies. "I direct the Board's attention to the viewscreen."

A large video monitor blinks to life in the darkness of the room.



The display shows S'Ondra on the bed in her cell.

"Fool." She mutters to herself.  Then her head jerks up at the sound of footsteps nearing her cell.

The cell door swings open and Gustav and Larathra are unceremoniously pushed inside.

"Enjoy yer time with yer Nusi friends, traitor." A voice sneers from offscreen, before the door slams shut once more.

"Ach, _mein_ knee." Gustav mutters, rubbing his leg where it has struck one of the cast iron bed frames.  Then he glances up, and his expression transforms into a beam of pleasure. "_Leibchen!_  Vhat are you doing here?  Vhat's going on?  Vhy is Fury so militaristic?"

S'Ondra gives the human a suspicious glare, her eyes flicking from him to his bizarre companion.

"Who are you?" she demands, suspiciously.  "Keep away from me, human!"

"But S'Ondra ... _leibchen_ -"



There are gasps from the room as the import of the prisoner's real name is spoken.


"The so-called Venusian Princess!" A voice is exultant in the darkness as a fist pounds the table. "Now we'll break these murderous rebels once and for all!"

"I'm afraid not." Colonel Gregg shakes her head, fixing Fury with a venomous look, "There's more.  You see, not only did Commander Fury neglect to inform the proper agencies of his prisoner, thereby delaying our discovery of who she truly is, but shortly after these two prisoners - prisoners _Commander Fury ordered sent to this cell_ - the following occurred."



 "It is a terrible situation." Gustav notes glumly. "And it is not one ve can correct from inside a prison cell.  Larathra, wiz our combined intelligences, zere must be some way ve can escape."

"I am open to suggestions, Doctor, but at the moment I have none of my own." Larathra confesses.

Just then, the cell door explodes off its hinges.

A huge silhouette appears in the open doorway.  Then it shifts slightly, and we see the gleam of light reflecting off its metal body.

"Archie!" Gustav's face brightens with pleasure.

"Must protect Alois Gustav." The robot intones mechanically, "Alois Gustav will accompany me."  It turns and stomps off along the corridor.  The three prisoners glance at each other, then scramble to follow.



Murmurs of outrage and confusion fill the room.

"One of our own robots!"

"Diabolically clever!"

"Officers, please!" Colonel Gregg saves her arm, raising her voice so as to draw the room's attention.  "The prisoners are now at large in the building.  I have ordered all security personnel to the task of capturing them.  However, I submit that our task in _this_ case is now clear." She gestures at Fury, "S'Ondra, the leader of the Venusian rebels, was in our custody.  But due to Commander Fury's inaction: inaction born at best of incompetence, and perhaps of collusion, she has temporarily escaped.  I call on the board to render judgement."

"The board has no option." The responding voice seems genuinely reluctant to give its answer, "Pending a full investigation before a Court Martial, Commander Fury is to be arrested and taken into custody immediately."


----------



## Zaruthustran

Dun-dun _DUN!_

-z

ps: nice writing!


----------



## Capellan

Thanks, Z.

You gotta admit, when I have a deus ex machina, I really have a deus ex _machina_


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 5*

John Fury didn't become a war hero by freezing in a crisis.  He spins and slams the heads of his two guards together, knocking both unconscious.  Then as squawks of outrage and distress rise behind him, he races out of the room -

- and we cut to Gustav and Larathra as they hurry down a corridor.  S'Ondra follows a few paces behind them, a suspicious frown on her face.  It is clear she still does not trust these strange humans.

"Must protect Alois Gustav." Archie intones from off-screen.

"Yes Archie, you're doing a fine job." Gustav soothes the unseen robot, "Now, just lead us to ze location of Q Branch in zis complex."

"Q Branch?" S'Ondra asks suspiciously.

"Ze Research division." Gustav explains, "Zat is where we vill find ze items taken from Larathra and myself.  We need ze RIDE device to get home."

"Why not just use a spaceship?"

"Doctor Gustav and I are not from this reality." Larathra explains, "We come from a reality where you and he are friends."

"Friends?  With a human?" S'Ondra looks scornful at the ridiculous notion.

"It is true _leibchen_." Gustav assures her, "You and I and Archie and ze Captain." 

"Captain?"

"Captain Fury, of course."

"_Jonathon_ Fury?" for a moment S'Ondra looks wistful, then her features harden in outrage, "The man is a monster!  He's killed dozens of my people!  There's no way he could ever be my friend!"

Klaxons blare, drowning out any answer Gustav may have made, and Darla Gregg's voice comes over the base loudspeakers.

"Commander Jonathon Fury is hereby stripped of his rank and a warrant issued for his capture.  Fury is accused of treason against the United Earth Government, and for collusion in the escape of three prisoners from Cell Block H.  The prisoners have been identified as Doctor Alois Gustav, a suspected saboteur; the self-styled 'Venusian Princess' S'Ondra, a known terrorist ringleader; and Larathra, a blue skinned humanoid of unclear origin.  The three may be accompanied by a rogue robot of the R-CHI classification.  Deadly force is authorised in the pursuit of Fury and the escapees."

"I knew we could count on ze Captain!" Gustav exults, "Quickly now Archie!  Get us to Q Branch so we can gather our belongings."

"Destination achieved." Archie's voice floats back from off-screen.  Then the shot changes to a door, which bursts off its hinges as the robot barrels through without pause.  The camera pans around to show a high tech workshop of some kink.  The room is fitted out with dozens of huge computers, their large tape drives whirring.  Lights blink on several consoles, and there are a number of tables, each strewn with various odds and ends of strange equipment.  Behind one of the tables is a plump, grey-haired man in a stained white lab coat.

"What is the meaning of this intrusion?" the man asks, his face a mixture of anger and apprehension, "I am attempting to conduct important research here, you can't just come barging in!"

"Barzolomew, is zat you?  Out of ze way Archie, zere's a good chap." Gustav steps around the robot and peers at the man, "_Ja_, it is you!"

"_Gustav_?" the man looks stunned, then sneers, "You crank!  What are you doing here, interrupting _real_ science?  Got another crazy theory you're trying to prove?" As he speaks, the plump scientist's hand inches toward a large red button on the desk beside him.

"Barzolomew!" Gustav looks a little sad, "My wife always said you vere a nasty, jealous little man, but I never believed her until now." 

"Wife?  What woman would be crazy enough to marry you?" Bartholomew's hand reaches the button.

His fingers rise up to press it -

"Don't even think about it, human." S'Ondra grabs Bartholomew's wrist and twists it behind him.  The scientist squeals like a little girl.  The Princess snorts derisively and slams him in the side of the head with her elbow.  Bartholomew collapses silently.

Larathra looks pained.

"Was violence really necessary?"

"Yes." S'Ondra is emphatic, "It's the only language these humans understand."

"How fortunate you're so fluent in it."

The Princess gives Larathra a flinty stare.  Larathra looks mildly back.

"Ladies, please!" Gustav is the voice of reason: that's a scary concept. "Ve have to find ze equipment and escape."

"I have everything I need." S'Ondra picks up a heat lance from a rack marked _Venusian Weapons Study_.

"I have the RIDE, my Omnitool, and all the parts necessary to complete repairs." As Larathra speaks, she feeds various bits of machinery into the silvery globe of the Omnitool.  Each part vanishes inside, despite the fact that several of them are longer than the Omnitool's diameter.

"Excellent." Gustav turns to Archie, "Archie!  Take us to ze Helipad by ze most direct route possible."

"Follow me." Archie wheels ninety degrees and smashes through a wall, showering plaster and bits of polystyrene rubble in all directions.

"Zat was a little more literal zan I intended." Gustav shrugs off the thought, and follows in the robot's wake.  Larathra follows him.  That leaves S'Ondra alone in the room.  She pauses for a moment, eyes flicking back and forth between the others and the door through which they all entered.  She takes a half step toward the door, as if planning to strike out on her own, then gives a half-snarl of frustration and dives through the hole after the others.

*WHAM*

S'Ondra bursts into the corridor just as John Fury comes sprinting around the corner.  The pair collide and crash to the ground.  Within moments, both roll up to crouching positions, weapons raised and ready.

"Drop the weapon, Venusian!"

"Don't move, human scum!"


----------



## jrtyler

Capellan said:
			
		

> The camera pans around to show a high tech workshop of some _kink_.




Wow Cap, just what kind of rating _did_ this show have?

hehe gotta love typos . . .


----------



## Capellan

Some time ago, I posted a link to a special thread that players aren't allowed to look at.  I head home to Australia in 4 weeks, which means I will be able to put the plans of that thread into action.  If you'd like to add something to the process, now's the time to do it


----------



## doghead

Capellan said:
			
		

> ... "Mission Control, this is _Pathfinder_.  Mission successful.  We're on our way home."
> 
> The soft hiss of the open radio channel fills the cabin.
> 
> Seconds tick by without a reply.
> 
> Fury frowns, leaning forward to activate the radio once more,
> 
> " Mission Control, this is _Pathfinder_.  I repeat: mission successful.  Please respond, Mission Control."
> 
> There is no answer.




Great SH. And I have another 7 or 8 pages to look forward to.

thotd


----------



## Capellan

The Good News: I wrote a new update during the flight home.

The Bad News: I won't be able to post it until I get a suitable power cable for my laptop, which will take another week or two for delivery.


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 6*

"Drop the spear or I shoot!" Fury barks the order again,

"Fire and die with me, invader." S'Ondra snarls back.

The two tense, eyes narrowing as each waits for the other's move.

"Fury!  Good chap!" Gustav convivially slaps the Commander on the shoulder, "I knew you'd come around!  But no time to chat now, we need to escape." With that, the Doctor bustles off after Archie and Larathra, who have already sped out of shot.

Fury and S'Ondra share a moment of "What the hell?", before the Princess tightens her jaw and makes a short motion with the tip of her heat lance,

"What did you do to make them hate you?" she snaps, "It must have been vile, even for a murderous invader like you.  You have no right to be on my planet!"

"No right?" Fury glares, "You gave us the right when you blew up Mission City!"

"What are you babbling about, _human_?" S'Ondra spits the last word as if it is the most heinous curse she can imagine.

Whatever response Fury might have made is cut short by a thunderous stampede of running boots.  It sounds like the whole Venusian Expeditionary Force is charging along the corridors toward them.

"We'll settle this later!" he snaps, in lieu of his original response, and sprints off down the corridor.  S'Ondra scowls, but then races after him.

Moments later, the five fugitives burst out onto a helicopter pad atop the building's roof.

"Quick!  Into the 'copter!" Fury shouts.  S'Ondra immediately bristles.

"I don't take orders from humans!"

"Lady, if you can flap your arms and soar up into the Starwind, you're welcome to." Fury gestures at the sky, "Otherwise, you need a chopper to get out of here, which means you need _me_ to fly it for you."

"_Leibchen_!  We must leave!" Gustav agrees.

The helicopter roars into the air, swooping low over the sprawling buildings a military camp, then skims over the treetops of a dense Venusian jungle.

"We've got company!" Fury yells, and wrenches at the chopper's controls.  Bright purple light flashes outside the cockpit window. "Two pursuit craft!  Someone man the guns and try to get them off our tail."

Presented with the opportunity to shoot at humans, S'Ondra does not object to following this order.  She quickly snaps herself into the gunner's harness and spins the chopper's ball turret to fire back at the pursuing vehicles.  As she presses the firing studs, Fury jinks to the left.  S'Ondra's bolts fly wide of the mark.

"Hold the craft steady!" she yells into the intercom. "I can't get a clear shot!"

"If I hold it steady we'll give _them_ a clear shot!" Fury shouts back, and throws the chopper into a tight right turn.  Despite his efforts, energy bolts blister the helicopter's side.  The whole craft shudders and several green lights in the cockpit turn amber.

S'Ondra swears under her breath in Venusian and stabs the firing studs once more.  Green energy bolts sear into one of the pursuing craft, as she swoops in exultation as it lurches in mid-air, black smoke billowing out of the impact zone.  Unfortunately the undamaged craft responds in kind, its blasts slamming into the fleeing chopper's side.

Sparks fly in the interior of the craft, sending Gustav scurrying for a fire extinguisher, Fury curses as he sees the amber lights turn red.

"You!  Blue chick!" he shouts at Larathra, "Know anything about machinery?  The left power inductor's out and I need it fixed!  Now!"

"I will endeavour to effect the repairs." Larathra promises, "But have you considered explaining our situation to your misguided comrades?  Surely they will respond sensibly to a logical explanation of the circumstances surrounding these events."

"Lady, I'm in the middle of it, and _I_ don't believe you have a logical explanation for this situation!" Fury snaps back, "Fix the power inductor, or we'll be sitting ducks!"

"The pursuers are gaining on us." S'Ondra reports as she fires once more.  Behind her, Gustav runs too and fro, dousing small fires.

"Thrusters are damaged." Fury muses to himself, "I'm only getting seventy percent of top speed.  No way to outrun them, so the only option is to out-fly them."  He considers this for a moment, then grins suddenly.  "Hang on tight!  I'm heading for the Badlands!"


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 7*

The chopper races through a series of narrow rock canyons.  White smoke pours from one side of the craft as it manoeuvres, but there's little risk of a crash with Fury's deft hands at the controls.

The pursuing Space Force crew are not so lucky: the undamaged machine _just_ avoids a fatal crash, but the second chopper ploughs straight into one of the canyon walls, exploding in an impressive display of the BBC model shop's technical expertise.

The interior of the fugitive vehicle is starting to fill with smoke.  Gustav blunders out of the swirling mist, shouting to Fury so he can be heard over the whine of emergency alarms,

"Larathra haz fixed ze thrusters, be she reports ze fuel lines are damaged.  Ve haf only a few more minutes before ve vill be forced to land."

"Got it." Fury's attention does not flicker from the controls as he throws the chopper into a tight turn round a canyon bend.  He straightens the vehicle out for a moment, then suddenly sideslips left, sending Gustav staggering across the chopper's interior.

"Ach!  _Mein_ head!"

"Sorry, old man." Fury doesn't sound too contrite, "But if I'm right … yes, they fell for it!"

We cut to an exterior shot, which shows the pursuing Earthforce shopper come roaring around the canyon bend and rush out of shot.  Moments later, Fury nurses his own vehicle out of a narrow, near invisible side canyon.

"Work every time." The Commander muses smugly, "If you're chasing someone and you come round a corner and can't see them, but there's only one obvious way forward, the natural instinct is to speed up.  People never stop to think that maybe there's something not so obvious –" he breaks off as a light begins flashing urgently on the control console.

"Is zat bad?"

"Fuel warning.  Your friend was right on the mark about how fast we're running out." Fury twists the chopper back into the side canyon, dropping altitude as fast as he can. "I'm going to try to nurse out far enough to get out of sight, and then put her down.  Let the others know our landing could be a bit rough."

'Rough' is an understatement.  Fury makes his landing approach faster than normal as he tries to eke a few more yards out of the chopper, and the engines cut out while the craft is still a few feet in the air.  The undercarriage snaps as the chopper – with all the aerodynamics of a brick – makes an abrupt landing, and the vehicles skids and bounces over several rocks before finally coming to a smoking rest in a Venusian canyon that looks a lot like a quarry in Surrey..

"Everybody OK?" Fury shouts, peering into the rear of the 'copter.

"Fine." S'Ondra frostily replies.

"A little shaken but ozzerwise unharmed." Gustav reports on himself and Larathra.

"Great.  Then everybody out." The Commander waves towards the door. "I'm going to set the engines to overload.  In their current state that shouldn't take long, so you have about two minutes to get to cover."

"Is this pursuit of wanton destruction a common human trait?" Larathra wonders.

"Yes." S'Ondra nods.

Fury sighs,

"Sooner or later the people chasing us will realise we're not in front of them and come back and they'll find the chopper.  I'm hoping that if they find a crater instead, they'll figure we were killed in a crash."

"We nearly _were_." S'Ondra mutters.

The others pile out of the vehicle as Fury sets to work.  The canyon is flooded with red light as the sun sinks over the horizon.

"Zere." Gustav points out several large boulders.  He, Archie and the two women run across shot, taking cover behind the large stones.  As soon as they do so, S'Ondra turns toward the Doctor with a scowl.

"Quick, before the butcher of my people gets here – tell me how you knew who I was!"

Gustav opens his mouth to answer, but it is Larathra who speaks first.

"Quantum theory posits the existence of multiple realities, each slightly different from the next, due to specific events occurring slightly differently in each reality.  Terchett, a scholar of my people, once wrote a fascinating explanation of the phenomenon using the example of putting on your trousers in the morning.  Right leg first or left?  Not that such a minor event would create a new reality, but it is an excellent example of theoretical discuss-mmph."

Gustav, hand clamped over Larathra's mouth to keep her from speaking, interrupts.

"Ve come from anozzer universe, one in which you and I are –" he considers giving a specific description and decides against it, "- friends.  Ve came here by accident, using a machine of Larathra's, but it is now damaged, and ve cannot return until she fixes it."

Seeing the sceptical look on the Princess's face, Gustav shrugs his shoulders.

"I know you find zis hard to believe, but it is true.  I haf known you since you were a little girl.  When I first met you, you had a pet slargbeast named Ob'zix."

S'Ondra looks startled.

"Ob'zix ... I had almost forgotten him.  He died –"

"In ze rebellion, _ja_?" Gustav nods at S'Ondra's stifled exclamation of surprise, "A shot which narrowly missed you.  In my universe, it was soon after zis zat I helped you escape.  In zis universe, I must not haf been zere.  You must believe me, S'Ondra -"

"S'Ondra!  I knew it!" Fury appears suddenly from behind the boulder, "I knew you were lying about who you were!"

S'Ondra snarls at the thought of the Commander knowing her identity, then shrugs as a thought occurs to her,

"Much good it will do you with your own people trying to kill you." She reminds him.  Fury acknowledges the point with a nod.

"Well now we know how you know _her_." he says to Gustav, "How do you know me?"  Before Gustav can speak, he raises a finger, "Actually, before you answer that, cover your ears for a few seconds."

*BOOM!*  A gout of flame and smoke bursts upward from behind the boulder as the chopper explodes.

"In my reality ze three of us are comrades." Gustav explains after his ears have stopped ringing.

"Impossible!" S'Ondra interrupts, "I would never befriend a murderous human!"

"Murderous?  You're a fine one to talk." Fury snaps back, "It was your people that started this!"

"Us?  You are the invaders here!"

"Because you attacked us!"

"We did no such thing!"

Fury looks grim.

"I was _there_, Princess.  The Kelvor had sent an ambassador to Mission City to request our aid in finding a diplomatic solution to their war with you.  Your people planted a bomb to kill him, and blew a hole in the Mission City dome.  Thousands of civilians dies."

S'Ondra stares at Fury as if he has grown a second head.

"We did no such thing!  The deaths of those people were a tragedy, but it was not one of our making."

"Well of course you would deny it."

"If _leib –_ if ze Princess says zat her people did not do it, zen I believe her." Gustav muses, "Which makes me ask: who else vould profit from such an explosion?"

"The Kelvor!" S'Ondra exclaims.

"What would they get out of killing their own Ambassador?" asks Larathra, whose mouth has finally been uncovered.  The Princess shrugs.

"If there's someone up to something sneaky, who else would it be?"

"Actually, it does make a twisted kind of sense." Fury admits, "They kill their own ambassador, and his entourage ... perhaps a dozen people in all ... in exchange for our aid in the war.  Damn them!" he swears, fists clenched, "If this is true, and thousands of human men and women have died for no reason ..."

"If it is true, ve vill need proof." Gustav points out, then looks a little startled at himself for acting as the voice of reason.

"There may be records in the secure files at the Venusian Government Building." Fury ponders, "An operation like that needs agents to be employed.  That means orders, going through handlers.  They couldn't have killed everyone involved.  And information like that is too useful for blackmail not to keep some kind of proof, if you think it's well hidden enough."

"So ve haf to make it to the capital."

Fury nods,

"But first we should get under cover, in case –"

"You're not going anywhere, human scum." Another voice breaks in.  The camera pans backwards, and we find that the five adventurers are surrounded by a ring of more than twenty Venusians, each of whom has a heat lance at the ready.


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 8*

Fury's hand leaps toward his atomic pistol, but S'Ondra grabs his arm.

"Keep your weapon holstered, Earthling."

"She's told you that in my reality too." Gustav tells Fury.

The leader of the Venusians steps forward, eyeing the group suspiciously.

"Are you well, Princess?"

S'Ondra nods,

"Yes, we escaped."

"We?" The Venusian stares doubtfully, "These are humans, Princess.  They should be killed before they can betray our location to their forces."

"No!" S'Ondra's voice cracks as she objects.  She reddens and clears her throat before continuing, resolutely not looking at the man whose arm she still grasps, "No.  They aided my escape.  Either they are truly friends, in which case we must help them in turn, or they are spies who must be interrogated.  Either way, I forbid them to be killed at this time."

The Venusian's expression suggests he doesn't respect S'Ondra's forbiddance as much as she might like, but at last he nods.

"Very well, but they must be blindfolded and disarmed, and the robot deactivated."

"Not a h—aaargh!" Fury yelps as S'Ondra twists his arm up behind his back.

"Do as they say, Commander." She whispers, "Or they will kill you all."

Out loud, S'Ondra says:

"Of course.  We must ensure the safety of our base."

The miracle of television whisks us immediately to a dimly lit cave, where Gustav, Larathra and Fury stare out from a primitive cell that looks exactly like the one the Targ Scientist was in at the start of the episode.

"I preferred it vhen I vas on ze ozzer side of ze bars." Gustav opines.

S'Ondra comes into shot, now dressed in diaphanous Venusian silks rather than the grubby prisoner's smock she wore before.  Fury's eyes widen.  Archie, were he not deactivated, would worry about her getting a chill.

Remembering that he is supposed to be upset at S'Ondra, Fury does his best to glare at her.

"Come to gloat over your prisoners, Princess?"

"I've been summoned before the war council of my people." S'Ondra explains, "I will tell them how you all helped me escape.  I will tell them what you told me about your human city.  I will tell them you are ..." she pauses, as if she cannot believe what she is saying, "... friends."

"Will zey believe you?"

"I'll _make_ them believe me."

Another scene change, and we find ourselves in a vast cavern.  S'Ondra stands at the centre, beneath a flickering torch.  Around her loom several high crags of rock, from which shadowy figures look down upon her.  Venusian war banners flutter against the walls.  It's so eerily like the Space Force disciplinary hearing that clearly the re-use of sets in this episode isn't just fiscally responsible: it's _art_!

A voice speaks in the darkness,

"Princess S'Ondra, thank you for attending this meeting of the War Council.  We are pleased to see you safe and well after your recent imprisonment."  Despite its words, the voice is cool, even unfriendly, in tone. "The Council would appreciate it if you explained the circumstances of your escape."

"I was being held in their base.  I gave them a false name, so they would not know who I really was.  Two new prisoners were brought into my cell: a blue-skinned alien, and a human who seemed to know me."

"How can this be, if you gave them a false name?"

Wisely, S'Ondra makes no attempt to explain the concept of alternate realities.

"He was on Venus just before the Kelvor uprising.  He saw me then as a child, and recognized me today as an adult."

"Impressive." The voice says dryly, "And this man helped you escape?"

"Yes.  Well, his robot did.  It smashed down the door of the cell."

"This is the same Heavy Incendiary robot you had with you when our patrol found you?"

"Yes."

"You don't think it suspicious that a helpful human would have control of a major military weapon such as that?"

"Of course I was suspicious!" S'Ondra snaps, clearly having lost patience with the voice's rather condescending tone, "I've been fighting this war my whole life, and I am not a fool!" She pauses and takes a breath, "But there has been nothing since to confirm my suspicions.  I believe these people to be our friends."

The last word provokes a squawk of outrage.

"_Friends_?  One of them is from _Space Force_!"

S'Ondra shakes her head,

"Not any more.  They are hunting him now."

"So you would trust a traitor?"

The Princess stops for a moment as she considers the question.  Finally, she nods.

"Yes.  He is an honest man."

There is a murmur of disquiet from the Council benches.

"I think your judgement may be impaired, Princess." The voice speaks at last, "Perhaps the humans drugged you without your knowledge.  However –" the speaker hurriedly continues so as to head off S'Ondra's explosive rejoinder, "- we are aware of all you have sacrificed in this war, and are willing to investigate this matter further as recognition for those sacrifices.  Guards, bring forth the prisoners so they can be questioned!"


----------



## Capellan

It's a bit embarrassing to realise that I only made 3 posts in the 5 months that were lost to the board crash, but at least they are all back up, now.


----------



## Captain Claymore

*Fan gush*

Watched it all in one fruity Oaty Bar munchin', Ovaltine drinkin', tube starin' TV coma. My DVD player seems to be on the fritz however since I can't access the rest of the episodes. *smacks side of television, bangs remote against head, whines quietly while lovingly fingering S'Ondra's technicolor image on the DVD case.*

In other words, fabulous job Cap! Really really great!!! Can't wait for more, yet sadly must... *deep sigh*

Wish I had a working RIDE to transport me to the alternate reality where this show was still on the air. It'd be on right before Firefly season two.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Man, that must be some kind of extra-fancy power cable. Glad to see a new update.


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 9*

Fury,. Gustav and Larathra are brought into the cavern.  Commander Fury is held by two burly Venusians, and has obviously been putting up something of a struggle, as his shirt is badly torn.  S'Ondra pretends not to notice.

"Oh my." Larathra peers around the cavern, "What quaint décor."

Fury catches sight of the watching Venusian leaders and immediately snaps to attention.

"John Fury.  Commander.  Serial number 846-Q-93."

One of the Venusians leans forward, his hands coming into the light, but his looming body still in silhouette.

"Commander Fury.  You will explain the circumstances of Princess S'Ondra's escape from your facility."

Fury narrows his eyes.

"John Fury.  Commander.  Serial number 846-Q-93."

There is a murmur of irritation amongst the Venusian leaders, and S'Ondra catches the Commander's eye.  Seeing her worried eyes, Fury eases his own expression.

"As far as I know, she just got lucky.  I happened to place two prisoners in her cell who had – unknown to me – subverted the programming of a class CHI Robot.  The robot broke down the door of their cell, allowing all three to escape."

The silence that follows is palpably disbelieving.

"And how did you come to join her, Commander?"

"I was accused of treason."  The answer provokes a murmur of comment.

"Why?"

"I hadn't been following procedure with the Princess's case.  When she escaped, Space Force felt that I had known her identity and had conspired to help her.  That was not the case, but they didn't seem like they were going to believe me, so I decided to leave.  I literally ran into the Princess as I was trying to get out.  Our being together is complete happenstance."

"Indeed." This one word is loaded with an entire paragraph of disbelief. "If you did not know the Princess's identity, why did you not process her like any other prisoner?"

"I suspected there was something out of the ordinary about her, but I didn't know what." Fury shrugged, "And I didn't want to send her to Z Branch on a hunch."

"That hardly seems a good reason to risk your career as you claim you did."

Fury hesitates, clearly reluctant to explain his reasons, and Larathra picks that moment to speak up.

"I detect a three degree increase in the Commander's body temperature whenever he mentions the Princess." She helpfully lets everyone know. "I believe this reaction is consistent with physical desire in the human species."

Gustav buries his head in his hands.

"Is this true, _human_?  Was it your intention to befoul our Princess?"

"Absolutely not, you barbarian.  I am a civilised man –"

"You are an invader!" A Venusian leader interrupts.  There is furore in the cavern, and the two warriors who were guarding Fury now level their spears in his direction.

"Kill him!" the cry goes up.

"No!" S'Ondra leaps in front of the Commander, arms spread wide, "You have to listen to this man.  He isn't trying to hurt us!"

"You." One of the Venusians interrupts, pointing at Larathra as he does so, "Can you tell if the Princess experiences a similar reaction to the Commander as he does to her?"

"Oh easily." Larathra says happily, "My people have an innate ability to sense heat variations.  There are receptors in the tip of our antennae –" she abruptly realises that the question was not meant in a theoretical sense. "- um yes.  Her body temperature increases when she talks about the Commander."

"Guards, please remove the Princess.  Obviously her judgement in this matter is impaired."

"What?  No!  You can't do this to me! " S'Ondra is too stunned to do more than protest as she is led away.

Fury seethes,

"If you harm one hair on her head –" he starts.

The tallest Venusian leader cuts him off,

"No harm will come to the _Princess_, human.  She is very important to our cause.  Too important to be sullied by any further contact with you."

"_Ze Kelvor tricked ze humans into attacking you!_" Gustav bellows.

The Doctor blinks as everyone stops to stare at him.

"My wife always said zat vhen logic failed one should try loud and angry shouting.  And vhat do you know, it works!"


----------



## Zaruthustran

Delicious.


----------



## Thornir Alekeg

Fantastic.


----------



## Capellan

I'm just back from a month long holiday in Europe, so there should be an update in the next week or so.  They'll be irregular for at least a couple of months after that, though.  I have a new _Iron Heroes_ book to work on, which will be taking most of the time I have where I am not working my day job, sleeping or gaming


----------



## Zaruthustran

Wha? Are you writing a book for Iron Heroes? Details!


----------



## Capellan

Apparently you've never read my signature block 

I can't discuss details of the new project I'm working on due to non-disclosure issues, but it'll be my 3rd Iron Heroes book.  The 1st is out (and linked in my sig) and the 2nd is written and with the publisher.  I saw the draft art and maps for it last week.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Alas, your sig is not displaying on my machine.

EDIT: just noticed that sigs display one time per page. Nice feature!


----------



## Deuce Traveler

<sniff>

No more?


----------



## Capellan

There will be more, but writing that is fun _and_ profitable keeps getting in the way of writing that's just for fun


----------



## Deuce Traveler

Capellan said:
			
		

> There will be more, but writing that is fun _and_ profitable keeps getting in the way of writing that's just for fun




Amen.


----------



## Capellan

*Interlude*

Captain Fury, who had been dozing in his chair, awaoke with a sudden shout of alarm.

"Captain?  Vat is ze matter?"

"Doc ... it was horrible.  I dreamed I was ignored for months on end.  No beautiful women to seduce.  No hideous aliens to shoot.  Not even any daring to do."

"Zere zere, Captain.  It's all better now."


* * *


If we get to May 27 without an update, that'll be a whole year without one, and I'll be forced to admit that this story hour is just as dead as Piratecat's.  Should that happen, you have my permission to mock me.


----------



## Piratecat

You mean, mock you _more_?

My story hour only gets to be a year w/o updates in July. Slacker.


----------



## Capellan

*cough*Code-4*cough*


----------



## Zaruthustran

*The Book of En*

_Let it be known that whosoever invoketh the name of Piratecat shall draw the Patch-ed Eye, and be visited upon by he before 600 seconds expire!!!

or your money back._

-z


----------



## Capellan

*"Venusian Christmas Carol" - Part 10*

Finding himself the centre of attention for the entire Venusian rebel movement, Gustav rapidly moves into exposition mode.

"Look, ever zince I got to zis reality I have been hearing ze humans say ze Venusians started ze war by planting a bomb with ze Kelvor delegation to Mission City –"

"That is a lie!" A Venusian angrily interjects.

"_I am talking!_" Gustav bellows.  Everyone – even the Doctor himself – looks taken aback by the outburst.  After a moment's pause, he continues, "I zink we can accept zat zere _was_ a bomb, but zat does not tell us who planted it.  And I ask you zis, who would profit most from war between ze humans and ze followers of ze Princess?"

"The Kelvor!" Fury provides the answer to the question.

"Do you have proof this?" The unseen Venusian inquisitor wants to know.

"Proof?  Vell, not empirically.  But ze theory matches ze testable facts.  It is ze most rational explanation."

"We cannot except your claims without proper proof."

"Zen let us return to ze city and get ze proof you need."

"We cannot do that.  You are humans, enemies of our people.  You have seen our base.  We cannot compromise our security by allowing you to leave.  The prisoners will be returned to their cells."

Larathra steps forward.

"If I might interject, I think I should point out at this juncture that I'm not human.  You can clearly see that, I am sure.  I am Larathra of the Sarathi, and therefore I am not your enemy, I am merely a neutral observer –" Larathra cuts off with a squawk as two of the Venusian guards grab her by the arms and lead her away. "- you can't do this to me!  I claim the rights of a non-combatant!  Intergalactic law dictates –"

As Larathra's voice fades into the distance, Gustav sighs.

"I am starting to understand why Captain Fury is always yelling at me."

The screen dissolves into a scene of Fury, Gustav and Larathra back in their cell.

"I hope zey do not damage Archie." Gustav frets.

"I think that's the least of our worries, Doc." Fury answers.  He grabs the bars of the cell and tests their strength, his muscles bunching impressively but uselessly as he does so. "No way out here, and I don't hold much hope of the Princess being able to talk those 'followers' of hers around."

"Diplomacy is not one of my skills." S'Ondra agrees as she appears out the shadows, a knife in her hand. "Fortunately for you, knocking out guards and freeing prisoners is an area where I have a _lot_ of experience."

"Princess?  Is this wise ... if your people find out you could be in a lot of trouble -"

"Commander, I am _already_ in a lot of trouble.  But you are in far worse." S'Ondra begins sawing at the thorny Venusian vines that hold the cell door shut, "I overheard some of the officers talking.  Keeping you alive is too big a risk.  They're planning an 'accident' for you three.  There's only one thing we can do -"

"Get out of here and get proof of what the Kelvor did." Fury nods as the vines finally snap and the cell door swings open. "Come on Doc, it's time to put a stop to this war."


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## Deuce Traveler

Yea!  New episodes!


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## Thornir Alekeg

Lets hope its not another 356 days until the next one


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## Capellan

You don't think "updating at least once a year" is a winning slogan?


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## Thornir Alekeg

Capellan said:
			
		

> You don't think "updating at least once a year" is a winning slogan?



 No, but maybe you could try "Q-Ship: Building the Anticipation."


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