# Serious: D&D Addiction



## Khas (Oct 5, 2003)

Please don't flame me, because I mean this seriously.  

Lately I have been thinking that I am addicted to D&D.  I am in my late 20's, not what you would consider a geek (like that even matters), but D&D takes up alot of my thoughts and time.  I feel that it is starting to limit me, limit my topics of conversation and the people I hang out with.   This is mainly because I get SO much enjoyment out of it.  Before you say to yourself, oh man this guy is just wierd, can you say that D&D doesn't do the same for you to some extent?  I am sometimes to the point of giving it up, but it feels almost like breaking up with someone in a way.  One forges relationships with the people one plays D&D with, invests money in it, and this stuff almost seems to hold you into it sometimes.  

I laugh at those who call D&D evil.  It certainly isn't, but it seems TOO fun.  Has this ever happened to anyone?


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## Buttercup (Oct 5, 2003)

I guess I don't understand exactly what your concern is.  Consider any hobby, model trains, stamp collecting, knitting.  If a person is into that hobby, they will spend a fair amount of money on it, read about it, hang out with other people who like it too, and maybe even join an internet message board devoted to it.  So?  No one thinks avid stamp collectors are nutty.  How are we any different?  

Stop worrying so much.


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## Wombat (Oct 5, 2003)

It is as possible to become addicted to D&D as it is to stamp collecting, car repairs, golf, or even poker.

Yes, it _can_ and _does_ happen.  Any interest can _potentially_ become addictive.

This does not mean that you _are_ addicted, just that it is a possibility.  My brother, for example, has a huge book collection devouted to the American Civil War, talks about it a lot with his friends, has joined a re-enactment group, etc., but I would not say is addicted.  He can talk about lots of other things and if he misses an encampment, he just shrugs it off and looks forward to another time.

So just try the simple solution.

Don't game for a while.  Give it a month, two, however long seems appropriate.  Strike up conversations about non-gaming topics.  I don't suggest 100% Cold Turkey -- it's still okay to check a messageboard now and again, but don't do it on a daily basis; try to do it, say, weekly.

But quite seriously, if you are worried, really worried, get professional advice.


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## GnomeWorks (Oct 5, 2003)

:steps forward:

My name is GnomeWorks, and I'm an addict.

:steps back:

-----

On a more serious note...

I second what Wombat said.  Avid interest doesn't necessarily mean that you're addicted.  Try not gaming for a while, though keep in touch with it, and see how that goes.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, though.  If you focus on something else for a little while, chances are you'll be able to put gaming aside.


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## KnowTheToe (Oct 5, 2003)

As mentioned above, any hobby will liit conversations and interactions with people who do not sahre the same hobby.  That is why sports are so popular, it is a hobby/interest that you can talk to nearly anyone about.

Try picking something else you like to do or would like to do and add it to your life.  It does not have to replace gaming, but should just be an addition.  Life is always worth exploring.


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## Darrin Drader (Oct 5, 2003)

I don't think you need to give up gaming for any length of time. If you're worried, just make sure that you engage in non-D&D activities when you aren't actually gaming. Don't worry about your character until ah hour before the game starts. Don't spend a lot of time on the message boards. In short, cut down the amount of time you spend preoccupied with D&D. Go catch a movie, watch some TV, or hang out with friends.

Personally, as a freelancer, it goes beyond a simple addiction and into more of a commitment. The main difference between your problem and mine is that there are definite times when I want to get away from it but I'm obligated not to.


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## Czhorat (Oct 5, 2003)

How much time to you play, and how often? 

When I was in high school I used to spend tons of time playing. An afternoon after school, every weekend, and would spend free time reading rule books and tweaking my character. In college I got a way from it a bit. Now that I'm married I keep it to once every other week so I can have some time with my wife as well. 

I think the best advice is to set a limit for yourself and stick to it. What that limit is depends on you and how many other responsibilities you have. Certainly once a week or once every other week is not excessive. THen take knowthetoe's advice and spend some time doing something else - almost anything else. Learn a martial art. Go jogging. Read some good books. Listen to music. Go out with friends to bowl or play pool or even watch a movie. 

In other words, let the game be part of a greater tapestry in your life. If it's not your whole life, you should be happy. If you find you can't game without spending 3 hours a day checkign these message boards, tweaking your character, or joining two or three games so you can play every other day then maybe you should take at least a brief hiatus. In any event, good luck.


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## Halivar (Oct 5, 2003)

Dude, it's 12:30.  What are you doing here?  You should be gaming!

 Wait... what am *I* doing here?  Oh quick!  Somebody  throw me a beholder... I'm jonsin'!!

 PS:  I had to give it up for two years.  I maight have to do it again.


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## Mystery Man (Oct 5, 2003)

I assume your asking as a plea for the truth and not looking for sympathy or validation then...

If you're spending your money on gaming products when the money should be going to feed yourself or wife and kids, pay the bills etc. 

If your calling in sick to work or school or are losing jobs and flunking out as a result of gaming instead of taking care of your busniness.

If you feel you have to sneak around to game because you promised a loved one you would do something other than gaming.

If your life in unmanagable and out of control because of gaming. 

You got a problem and you'll probably have to quit.

If you have to think about quitting because of any of these issues and are terrified, you have a problem and will most likely have to quit.

If none of these apply then you gots nothing to worry about.


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## jester47 (Oct 5, 2003)

I would not say that I am addicted, but rather annoyed by my enjoyment.  Looking back on my life, I think the one mistake that I have made was letting my hobbies mess up my grades.  Right now I am working hard to set things up so that I have an ongiong FR campaign that people can play in any day any time.  I have a big binder and I am putting all my favorite published modules in it.  I keep track of what has happened, where things are and generally what is going on.  This way I am not always designing stuff.  I just don't have the time or inclination.  Once I am done with it, I will not have to do that much work to DM.  

A lot of what John Four has put out and gathered has helped tremendously.  I have cut my prep time and the way I run the game is far smoother than I did before.

In that respect, I think DMs deal with the addiction factor more than the players.  And there have been several times when I have wanted to step down as DM just to get more free time. 

Thinking about that now.

Aaron.


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## BOZ (Oct 5, 2003)

addicted?  just a myth, i tell ye.


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## Elric (Oct 5, 2003)

I find that many things are addicting.  Exercise, for example, seems to be subtly addictive for me, but in a good, not unhealthy, way.  I would think that the same would be true for other "addictions" as well.  For me, some sign of addiction doesn't have to be a bad thing.  

I think that I am probably not addicted to any form of gaming, but I am subtly addicted to the intellectual stimulus that it provides.  If this is the case, then gaming would be very similar to exercise, but for the mind instead of body.  Hope this makes some sense.


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## maddman75 (Oct 5, 2003)

I am hardcore addicted to a game, but it isn't D&D.  It's Civilization III.  Now many people will talk about the allure of Just One More Turn on this game.  But I've found I *can't* play it casually.  It goes beyond thinking about it at odd times during the day.  When I'm on a Civ3 bender, it's ALL I think about.  every spare moment is playing civ3.  Get off work, play civ until time to sleep, rinse and repeat.

It was just sucking up too much of my life, and I can't play just a bit.  So I uninstalled it.

But unless your D&D fixation is that bad I wouldn't worry.  You could probably help things just by getting into another, unrelated hobby.  Just something else to pass the time .


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## BOZ (Oct 5, 2003)

sounds like how i was on civ2


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## Tallok (Oct 5, 2003)

I can identify, I have the same problem, but with message boards and music, so how do I go to a good school and get good grades? Oh yeah it's that not sleeping thing, don't try it


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## Khas (Oct 5, 2003)

Well, I am the DM so I have to do more than think about my character an hour before the game.  No, I don't spend an excessive amount of money on the game.  I just find that sometimes I would rather stay in and work on my game or read message boards than do anything else.  I game every other week but spend a few hours each night working on my game or reading message boards.  My job hasn't suffered.


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## Leopold (Oct 5, 2003)

watch football..cures everything.


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## Xavim (Oct 5, 2003)

Other than boredom...
(Its all about hockey)

Doesn't sound to me like you have much of a problem.


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## Magic Slim (Oct 5, 2003)

The realization that you _might_ have a problem goes far into showing that you don't want to have that problem and will find a way to get it under control before it really becomes a problem...

It's easy to become passionate about such a great hobby. I know I go to sleep sometimes thinking about my game (as a DM) or my (many) characters. During class (I'm working on my masters) I take notes and think up of plot elements or character concepts when the lecture becomes boring. I have spent, in my life, in the upwards of 5,000$ on gaming material (probably). Most of my close friends are people I game with (they were gamers before I met them or I have converted them to gaming).

Hm. What was my point again?

Oh yeah. My life is not limited to that. I play music. I watch movies. I write non-gaming stuff. I have a girlfriend that doesn't game. I go out with my gaming friends and we don't talk about gaming.

It's all about balance, and only you can bring that balance to your life.

You don't seem like an addict. In my opinion, you won't become in addict, because you know you could. Work on balance, and you'll be fine.

Slim

PS: My civIII was UO in college.


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## Tyler Do'Urden (Oct 5, 2003)

BOZ said:
			
		

> sounds like how i was on civ2




Was?  I still am hooked on Civ2... none of that cruddy Civ3 for me... (Civ3 lacks my favorite element of Civ2- the extensive module-building and customization...)

As for D&D addiction, I used to think that I had a strange addiction, and then I looked at my father- every evening, he's either watching a sporting event on TV, out golfing, at the ballpark or arena watching a game, reading Sports Illustrated, or headed off to an Indian casino with one of his buddies.  And he still finds plenty of time to spend with his family and maintain a successful career.

So he has his gaming, and I have mine.

But I do think that there is a limit.  Some of my friends fit the "gamer nerd" stereotype to a T- they never really talk about anything else, they ignore basic hygene, they pay no attention to the opposite sex (unless that attention comes in the form of Internet porn), they can't maintain an academic life or hold a job for very long... these are the kinds that are worrisome.  But as long as you can hold a job or maintain your grades above failing, and are able to carry on conversations about other things, it should be fine.  Try taking a week or two doing something else... for the last month, I haven't run any RPG's, have played maybe one session, and the extent of my gaming involvement has been reading ENworld every couple days- and I'm finding no lack of other activities to fill my time.

Really, contrary to the beliefs of some, D&D nerds are no different than hardcore fans of other types.  But if that's all you are, you can be rather dull.  Ever tried chatting with an obsessive "motorhead"?  What about a football "superfan"?  A romance novel enthusiast?  They're all just as bad.  There is a line between enjoying something, and enjoying something to the exclusion of everything else.


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## Christian Walker (Oct 5, 2003)

Khas said:
			
		

> I laugh at those who call D&D evil.  It certainly isn't, but it seems TOO fun.  Has this ever happened to anyone?




I wouldn't sweat it. I mean, are you skipping work to game? Are you buying minis and dice instead of paying your rent? Are you insisting that your lady friend call you Balkor the Impailer when you two are in the sack?

Even if you answered yes to any of those, I wouldn't say you were an addict. I'd just say you need to make better choices. 

Regarding the limited conversation topics. You, like me, are a man. If a conversation doesn;t involve my hobby (D&D), sports, or work, I'm really not into it. Men aren't world class conversationalists. That's why we grunt, point, and hine the pratice of selective deafness to an artform.


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## Loki3 (Oct 5, 2003)

Lets see here...........

A. I have a job.
B. I have 2 daughters.
C. I play AD&D once a week.
D. I am a member of 5 forums, and own one myself dedicated to D&D and RPG's.

Do I think alot of AD&D yes I do.
Do I troll forums ALL the time about AD&D yes I do.
Do I make maps, and jot down ideas all the time about AD&D yes I do.

Do I have a problem. NO I dont.

Why.? Simple.
Because even though I love the game, and even though I play it alot and think about it alot I realize I have other things and responsibilites also.

I dont know you nor do I know exactly how much you really think and live it, but the key is balance. I have several hobbies AD&D is my main one. I do other stuff also its just that AD&D is the most enjoyable thus I do it the most.


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## Breakdaddy (Oct 5, 2003)

I check these forums almost daily, sometimes several times in a single day. I have 6 shelves of RPG material (mostly D&D) and most of my friends play or have played D&D. I dont think Im addicted to the game. I can talk about other things. But I sincerely enjoy hanging out with people who share my interest in D&D and RPGs in general. I dont see anything wrong with that. I think its just human nature to want to hang out with people who share common interests with you.


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## Philip (Oct 5, 2003)

Khas, from what I have read I don't feel you are addicted. Having an addiction is not a matter of how much time you spent on something, or how much fun you are having doing it, but what function it has in your life. I always use the following simple rule;

You are addicted to something when NOT doing/taking that something causes you to feel bad.

If you get agitated when you can't play for a few weeks, if you get bored when your friends don't want to have conversation about the game, then you should watch out. If that's not the case, then by al means enjoy your fun while it lasts!


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## pogre (Oct 6, 2003)

You know I am less concerned about addiction than the focus on a hobby. I sometimes wonder what I could do if I focused purely on being great at one thing. I spend countless hours working and thinking about games - I worry about that investment from time-to-time. 

I saw a 60 minutes interview with Bill Parcels a few years ago and they asked him why he was a good football coach. He responded that he was not a very interesting or well-rounded individual - all he thinks about and works on is football. Focused passion like that amazes me. If Coach Parcells was well-rounded I doubt he would be a great football coach.

I wrestle with this allocation of time for hobbies, which is probably the greatest waste of time one can indulge in. 

I have to think about this some more...at my painting desk.


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## fusangite (Oct 6, 2003)

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
- William Blake, _Proverbs of Hell_

I have a highly addictive personality. But I find that addictions to hobbies or other not strictly physical things are best dealt with through indulgence than abstinence. Try playing too much. Chances are that you'll get a little tired of gaming so much after a while. If you're still just as immersed in six months from now, consider someone else's suggestion but I find that obsessions/addictions to things other than drugs, usually work themselves out.

Oh, and if you're in your early 20s, please take my advice to heart. Everyone assumes that people in their early 20s behave in an addictive fashion and makes way more allowances for it.


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## caudor (Oct 6, 2003)

pogre said:
			
		

> You know I am less concerned about addiction than the focus on a hobby. I sometimes wonder what I could do if I focused purely on being great at one thing. I spend countless hours working and thinking about games - I worry about that investment from time-to-time.
> 
> I saw a 60 minutes interview with Bill Parcels a few years ago and they asked him why he was a good football coach. He responded that he was not a very interesting or well-rounded individual - all he thinks about and works on is football. Focused passion like that amazes me. If Coach Parcells was well-rounded I doubt he would be a great football coach.
> 
> ...




Wow, what an insightful post.  After reading it twice, I realize that I wrestle with the same feelings every now and then.  

But is it really a waste of time?  I think back over the great games I've had, the friends I've met, and the all those rainy days I spent focused on my hobby...dreaming up exciting adventures to share with others.  Yeah, there's always going to be an opportunity costs, but I think most of us gamers will look back years from now with no major regrets.  Having fun with friends is life well spent.  However, I do have to remind myself of this every now and then.


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## pogre (Oct 7, 2003)

caudor said:
			
		

> But is it really a waste of time?  I think back over the great games I've had, the friends I've met, and the all those rainy days I spent focused on my hobby...dreaming up exciting adventures to share with others.  Yeah, there's always going to be an opportunity costs, but I think most of us gamers will look back years from now with no major regrets.  Having fun with friends is life well spent.  However, I do have to remind myself of this every now and then.




Excellent points. I agree time spent with friends doing what you enjoy is well spent. It is also worthwhile to reflect on our time and push forward without regrets - much as you pointed out. As usual, it's all about healthy balance.


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (Oct 7, 2003)

Not to get overboard with semantics, but this is not addiction, per se. Nicotine, alcohol, heroin, those are addictions. Clinically speaking, what you are talking about is a compulsion. It's not a fine line.

Not a doctor, just a Concerned Citizen.

I think most parents would be happy to have children "addicted" to D&D, as opposed to TV, video games, or pro wrestling .  It's inherently social, it teaches math and probability skills, improves language and vocabulary, promotes non-linear thinking and problem resolution, and teaches one to set goals and achieve them.  I not only think it's healthy to play, I think it should be taught in schools alongside gym and home ec.

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
- William Blake, _Proverbs of Hell_

"Dude, is the wisdom bonus from that palace inherent or enhancement?"
-Me, just now.


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## Cyronius (Feb 15, 2021)

Im Really worried I might be addicted to D&D too. I get no enjoyment out of life unless im playing it.  I am so attached to my character that I want to be them and fantasize about it. Its becoming a genuine problem and not playing because my DM cant dm for an unfortold ammount of time is making me just not want to be awake. 

So unless you have these problems i think your okay and can function on a basic level even while playing DND


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## BookTenTiger (Feb 15, 2021)

I think @khash doesn't have an account anymore? I would love to get an update after 18 years!!!

I feel like RPG's are such a fantastic mode of escapism because they combine rules sets, which are fun to think about, with narratives, which are fun to think about. During times when I have struggled to control the narrative or rules of my own life, I tend to think about D&D obsessively. But when I'm actively occupied with healthy hobbies and a creatively demanding job, I think about D&D an appropriate amount as I would any hobby.

That said, when I'm biking to work and climbing a big hill, thinking about D&D gets me through it every time!


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## Dire Bare (Feb 15, 2021)

Khas said:


> Please don't flame me, because I mean this seriously.
> 
> Lately I have been thinking that I am addicted to D&D.  I am in my late 20's, not what you would consider a geek (like that even matters), but D&D takes up alot of my thoughts and time.  I feel that it is starting to limit me, limit my topics of conversation and the people I hang out with.   This is mainly because I get SO much enjoyment out of it.  Before you say to yourself, oh man this guy is just wierd, can you say that D&D doesn't do the same for you to some extent?  I am sometimes to the point of giving it up, but it feels almost like breaking up with someone in a way.  One forges relationships with the people one plays D&D with, invests money in it, and this stuff almost seems to hold you into it sometimes.
> 
> I laugh at those who call D&D evil.  It certainly isn't, but it seems TOO fun.  Has this ever happened to anyone?



Anything can be addicting. A lot of us here are probably addicted to D&D (or the broader TTRPG hobby) but don't necessarily view it as a negative (_even if it might actually be a negative_). We might instead say we're _obsessed_ . . .

Having D&D as a major lifestyle hobby is perfectly okay, being obsessed with the game and spending a lot of time playing, and a lot of time outside of actual play thinking about it . . . that can be okay too. But yes, you can certainly cross the line over into addiction if you are neglecting other aspects of your life . . . your job, your family, other interests.

I've known folks that I'd say were addicted to the game, and it did have a negative impact on their life. These guys prioritized D&D over jobs, over relationships, and spent money they couldn't afford on massive collections of books and collectibles. They had mental issues that they were not addressing, and could have used counseling. But they didn't see their behavior as addictive, they were just "_super fans_", and never sought help (while I knew them).

But D&D can be a healthy source of, not only entertainment, but social interaction. Are you making friends with the folks you play with? If you are not neglecting job, family, and relationships . . . but you spend most of your "_leisure energy_" on D&D, that's okay! Also consider it might be somewhat of a phase, and you'll "_calm down_" after a while and seek out other interests. Even now, in your "_D&D manic_" phase, I'd recommend pushing yourself to find some additional hobbies and outlets for social interaction outside the game.

Are YOU addicted to D&D? We can't really judge based on your post here, you're probably fine . . . but it's worth thinking about. If you are truly worried, get yourself into some counseling.


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## Dire Bare (Feb 15, 2021)

Cyronius said:


> Im Really worried I might be addicted to D&D too. I get no enjoyment out of life unless im playing it.  I am so attached to my character that I want to be them and fantasize about it. Its becoming a genuine problem and not playing because my DM cant dm for an unfortold ammount of time is making me just not want to be awake.
> 
> So unless you have these problems i think your okay and can function on a basic level even while playing DND



Huh, didn't realize this was an old thread from 2003!

OP might be okay, but I would highly recommend you seek out counseling @Cyronius.


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## TheSword (Feb 15, 2021)

Khas said:


> Please don't flame me, because I mean this seriously.
> 
> Lately I have been thinking that I am addicted to D&D.  I am in my late 20's, not what you would consider a geek (like that even matters), but D&D takes up alot of my thoughts and time.  I feel that it is starting to limit me, limit my topics of conversation and the people I hang out with.   This is mainly because I get SO much enjoyment out of it.  Before you say to yourself, oh man this guy is just wierd, can you say that D&D doesn't do the same for you to some extent?  I am sometimes to the point of giving it up, but it feels almost like breaking up with someone in a way.  One forges relationships with the people one plays D&D with, invests money in it, and this stuff almost seems to hold you into it sometimes.
> 
> I laugh at those who call D&D evil.  It certainly isn't, but it seems TOO fun.  Has this ever happened to anyone?



You asked a serious question and therefore deserve a serious answer. There are a couple of things that you should maybe be aware of.

1. *Online interaction.* Social media and forums like this one can absolutely be addictive. When you reach out to someone socially and they respond you get an instant hit of endorphins. Someone wants to speak to you and that makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter if they’re agreeing or not. It’s the same reason dating apps are popular with people who don’t go on dates. No one wants to be ignored and whether you’re engaging in a forum, or discord or in an online game you’re are going to be attracted to getting more of the same. Everytime someone likes a post or upvotes you, you get an endorphin hit.

2. *Collecting*. There are whole TV shows about collections that describe how peoples collections have gone beyond simply wanting something nice and slipped into an obsession. If you’re finding yourself buying things you don’t need, or getting buyers remorse soon afterwards then maybe you have got a problem with collecting. I know I certainly collected Warhammer to an unhealthy degree and to financial detriment. Ok so I could afford it, but at the same time I don’t own my own home. If I saved the £20k ive probably spent on gaming over the last 20 years, maybe I could. This is extreme but it’s all relative.

3. *Reality & Fantasy.* This bits probably the controversial bit. Gaming is fun, it is entirely designed to be fun and engaging and take you out of current situation. Which is great at times. But it isn’t productive. It won’t make you successful, any more than playing Call of Duty or Minecraft will. Maybe it would be amazing to be a financially successful games designer or a online game streamer but the reality is for most of us that will never happen. As my grandma would say. “Playing games is all very good, but get outside a bit too”


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## Bacon Bits (Feb 15, 2021)

Cyronius said:


> Im Really worried I might be addicted to D&D too. I get no enjoyment out of life unless im playing it.  I am so attached to my character that I want to be them and fantasize about it. Its becoming a genuine problem and not playing because my DM cant dm for an unfortold ammount of time is making me just not want to be awake.
> 
> So unless you have these problems i think your okay and can function on a basic level even while playing DND




I'm not a therapist, but the general rule of thumb is that if some aspect of your life or behavior is causing difficulty in your ability to function in everyday life, then you may have a problem. Because humans have their own agency, it's very complicated to tell when someone has a problem except for how much it impacts their ability to function in social, work, and psychological ways.

If you honestly feel like D&D is affecting your ability to live a normal, happy, and productive life, you should almost certainly seek professional help. You're not having a problem with D&D, you're having a problem with life that is exhibiting itself through D&D. That's okay. Life is really hard and we all have difficulty with it. But you're well beyond the scope of the kind of help you can really get from a web forum.


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## Jd Smith1 (Feb 15, 2021)

I never talk about my hobbies to people who don't participate in it.

I would rate gaming as my third or fourth favorite hobby.


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## aco175 (Feb 15, 2021)

Loki3 said:


> Lets see here...........
> 
> A. I have a job.
> B. I have 2 daughters.
> ...



This is mostly me as well.  I told my wife that I D&D with my father and play golf with her father.  I come home every night and do not smoke crack, so she is doing ok.


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## MNblockhead (Feb 16, 2021)

Jd Smith1 said:


> I never talk about my hobbies to people who don't participate in it.
> 
> I would rate gaming as my third or fourth favorite hobby.



Yeah talking about TTRPGs or firearms/shooting with people who don't participate in those hobbies can lead to awkward social situations. 

I don't really have other hobbies. If I'm addicted to anything, its work. So much of my out-of-work time is spent on work-adjacent activity: learning a new technology, getting a new certificate (maybe I'm addicted to having my CV or business card look like alphabet soup), reading a treatise. 

TTRPGs are the cure to my addiction.  Something interesting enough to draw my attention away from building a new VM etc.


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## Jd Smith1 (Feb 16, 2021)

MNblockhead said:


> Yeah talking about TTRPGs or firearms/shooting with people who don't participate in those hobbies can lead to awkward social situations.
> 
> I don't really have other hobbies. If I'm addicted to anything, its work. So much of my out-of-work time is spent on work-adjacent activity: learning a new technology, getting a new certificate (maybe I'm addicted to having my CV or business card look like alphabet soup), reading a treatise.
> 
> TTRPGs are the cure to my addiction.  Something interesting enough to draw my attention away from building a new VM etc.




I used to be that way, too (about work). It took me a long time to ease into other interests.


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## turnip_farmer (Feb 16, 2021)

This thread is almost as old as DnD 3.5.


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## Emerikol (Feb 16, 2021)

If you are neglecting family time, or you are spending your rent money or grocery money to buy D&D stuff, then yeah you got a problem.   Being enthusiastic about something though is not an addiction.  Addicts throw away everything else in pursuit of the next hit.   If you are cancelling dates with your girlfriend or breaking promises to your child, then it's a problem.  Hopefully my examples will help you decide if you are just a really enthusiastic hobbiest or a true addict.


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## GnomeWorks (Feb 16, 2021)

What an awkward necro.

If someone had been born the day I first posted in this thread, they would now be older than I was when I made that post.

TTRPGs are an engaging hobby because they engage a lot of different ways of thinking and being creative at once, and I'm be hard pressed to name another activity that has a similar mix. While there are certainly dangers associated with engaging with fantasy too much or in lieu of other activities, there are certainly worse hobbies and vices to delve into. It would take much more extreme behavior for me to think that someone has gone too far with elfgames than, say, gambling.

To this day I spend a significant amount of my free time dealing with TTRPGs. From prepping for sessions, to worldbuilding, to actually running the game. But I have a full time job, maintain a (admittedly minimal) social network, and engage in other hobbies. It doesn't consume my life and I can easily talk and relate to people who don't game, which I think is an indicator of a healthy relationship with the hobby.


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## MNblockhead (Feb 17, 2021)

Glad to hear from you and that your still engaged with the hobby in a healthy way.  My way to balance things out back in the day was to ditch the hobby for a couple decades. Not so much because I felt the hobby was becoming a problem but more because other interests and demands took over my attention and I found myself in different social groups outside of the gaming community.  Glad I found my way back.


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## Deset Gled (Feb 18, 2021)

Emerikol said:


> If you are neglecting family time, or you are spending your rent money or grocery money to buy D&D stuff, then yeah you got a problem.   Being enthusiastic about something though is not an addiction.  Addicts throw away everything else in pursuit of the next hit.   If you are cancelling dates with your girlfriend or breaking promises to your child, then it's a problem.  Hopefully my examples will help you decide if you are just a really enthusiastic hobbiest or a true addict.




I think it's worth mentioning that COVID quarantine could make the situation harder to identify.  This time last year, I would have said that if more of your social interaction are through Roll20 than actually talking to people, you may have a problem.  Today, if your social groups use D&D as a method of keeping in touch, the same number of Roll20 hours may be healthier (mentally) than the alternative of being extremely reclusive.  Also, many people are dealing with the problem of how to separate themselves from the people they live with while staying at home (i.e. getting "me time" when you can't get out).  This is a situation where using D&D to hide from your family would have been seen as unhealthy in The Before Time, but is now part of a mental health strategy.

I guess what I'm saying here is that context is everything, and COVID sucks.


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## jayoungr (Feb 18, 2021)

How long have you been playing?  I think most of us go through a phase in any newish hobby where it takes over and completely dominates our thoughts for a while.  It usually ebbs and flows after that.


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## aramis erak (Feb 20, 2021)

It's only a problem if it's interfering with work, school, church, and/or family obligations and/or performance.


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