# Don't use match.com for online dating. They mislead and lie.



## KenM (Jul 22, 2006)

I had a profile posted on match.com. I subsribed for a bit but i was not getting any good fits for me, so I canceled my account but left profile up to send/ recive winks, ect.. last week it said i had 2 emails from people, but i could not read them unless I subscribed. So I signed up for the 3 month, $50.00 package. I go to check the emails and they are from "bots" that want you to go to international dating sites, ect.. I called match.com customer service and told them I would not pay because your service was misleading and i want my whole account canceled.. They said they would take care of it. I told they speficially that I don't want to be charged for the first periord because it was misleading. They said they would take care of it. But they billed my card anyway. 
I don't like it when a company lies to its customers, don't use match.com.


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## Mycanid (Jul 22, 2006)

Yuck.

Sorry to hear about this Ken. 

It's a major bummer when things like this are thrown at us.

No wonder your avatar is animal!  I'd be playing the drums like that too!


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## ssampier (Jul 22, 2006)

That really sucks. 

I have been thinking of joining an online dating site since I live in a rural area.

Is there any that are reputable?


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## reveal (Jul 23, 2006)

Match.com seems to have a history of this.

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/dating_services/match.html


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## Greylock (Jul 23, 2006)

Uhmmm. Most of the online dating services have a similar model.

It's only misleading or lies if Matchdotcom is the one posting replies to your account.


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## KenM (Jul 23, 2006)

Greylock said:
			
		

> Uhmmm. Most of the online dating services have a similar model.
> 
> It's only misleading or lies if Matchdotcom is the one posting replies to your account.




  I'm not upset that I had to pay to read the emails, even if they are emails from bots. I'm upset that the person from match.com customer service told me that I would not have to pay when I called and canceled, but they charged me anyway. Another case of a company saying they would do one thing and then doing the total oppisite.


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## drothgery (Jul 23, 2006)

KenM said:
			
		

> Another case of a company saying they would do one thing and then doing the total oppisite.




I hate to tell you this, but given the stories you've posted here, either you have extraordinarily bad luck with customer service people, or it's you.


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## reveal (Jul 23, 2006)

drothgery said:
			
		

> I hate to tell you this, but given the stories you've posted here, either you have extraordinarily bad luck with customer service people, or it's you.



 If you look at the link I posted above, the practice that KenM is describing is very common for them, i.e. charging your CC without your permission.


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## Bront (Jul 23, 2006)

reveal said:
			
		

> If you look at the link I posted above, the practice that KenM is describing is very common for them, i.e. charging your CC without your permission.



Actualy, AOL is even worse with this.  They've managed to track down the new numbers of cards that have been changed and charge them (which is illegal last I checked).  Did that to my Fiance several times.  They also charged her for her ex's account without asking either (Again, illegal).  Leaving AOL was at one point like leaving a gang or the mob, but worse, since they often didn't relent even if you were dead.


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## Bront (Jul 23, 2006)

KenM said:
			
		

> I'm not upset that I had to pay to read the emails, even if they are emails from bots. I'm upset that the person from match.com customer service told me that I would not have to pay when I called and canceled, but they charged me anyway. Another case of a company saying they would do one thing and then doing the total oppisite.



If it was at the end of a billing period, the refund may not have been on the card.  Check online, it may be there.

Unfortunately, Credit Card refunds are not instant.


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## trancejeremy (Jul 23, 2006)

Well, part of the trouble is just the nature of online dating sites. They are simply full of scammers and the like (who are unafiliated with the site).

Of course, the sites themselves know this - it's probably how they get most of their money.  Both from people who are misled, and from the scammers themselves (who join to get email addresses)

Personally, I think the only honest sites around are the ones that use credits for email and such (which I think is pretty much lavalife these days) - that way, even if you do get ripped off, you're only out a buck or two.

Also, after a while, you can generally tell the difference between a fake person and/or bot and a real person. A lot of them are Russian, and they tend to make the same sort of mistakes with their English.

Heh, maybe that's another way for ENWorld to make money - they could start a dating service for gamers.


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## Andreas (Jul 24, 2006)

KenM said:
			
		

> A story about things you should know if you use the internet.




Well, I should consider whether personal criticisms, dredging up old threads, and mocking people is appropriate behavior on the boards.


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## KenM (Jul 24, 2006)

Andreas said:
			
		

> [edited]





  Why did you quote that when I never typed that here in the first place?


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## BOZ (Jul 24, 2006)

i thought this thread looked familiar.


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## Kanegrundar (Jul 24, 2006)

:shrug:  I met my wife through Match.com.  I never had any problems with their service whatsoever.  I'm not surprised that others have, but I never encountered any.


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## Darth Shoju (Jul 24, 2006)

I also met my wife through match.com. I've never had to deal with their customer service though. Working for a call centre I understand how this kind of crap can happen. The people answering the phones aren't necessarily the most competant or reliable people around. Often they are simply the people who show up for work consistantly. I've fired far more people for attendance issues than performance issues.

Crappy break for you anyway. Try out one of those pay-as-you-go/ pay-per-use sites. Less money at risk then.


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## PowerWordDumb (Jul 24, 2006)

Now there's a profile I'd pay good money to read.


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## Harmon (Jul 24, 2006)

Suggestion-

Go into your profile and write something like- "I canceled this account on [insert date], and I was charged on [insert date].  Its not the people that use this site, its the employees that I am having issue with."

Save a copy of the changes, then send that every time you are charged.  Make changes as the charges come in and save another copy of the page then contact them again.  This way they are advertising your frustration for you and they are fully aware of the problems that you are having should you take them to court.  

Best of luck, man this really sucks.


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## Kanegrundar (Jul 24, 2006)

I cancelled my account after I met my wife.  I went through a link either through the account page or one given via a help search.  I never had a problem with getting billed again.  I'd say the problem is dealing with their employees.  It's tough to get the hard sell when you click the "Cancel My Account" buttons.


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## KenM (Jul 25, 2006)

Well I talk to Match.com customer service again today and they said they will issue me a refund. I should get it in 7-10 business days.


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## GeorgeFields (Jul 25, 2006)

Perhaps you should meet people the old fashioned way.

The four best places to meet members of the oppostie sex (or so I've heard) are bars, churches, grocery stores, and laundry mats.


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## trancejeremy (Jul 25, 2006)

I've been shopping for groceries for close to 20 years now, and I've never met anyone that way.  I think that only works in commercials.  Laundry mats are also much less glamorous in real life than on TV


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## PowerWordDumb (Jul 25, 2006)

trancejeremy said:
			
		

> I've been shopping for groceries for close to 20 years now, and I've never met anyone that way.  I think that only works in commercials.  Laundry mats are also much less glamorous in real life than on TV




The trick is to not actually bring your skidmarked underwear with you when you're scouting out the fly laundry honeys.

Buy brand new tighty whities and wash those instead.

It's not lying, it's being considerate.


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## trancejeremy (Jul 25, 2006)

PowerWordDumb said:
			
		

> The trick is to not actually bring your skidmarked underwear with you when you're scouting out the fly laundry honeys.
> 
> Buy brand new tighty whities and wash those instead.




I think that only works in attracting men, which is not quite what I'm after...


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## Jonny Nexus (Jul 25, 2006)

trancejeremy said:
			
		

> I think that only works in attracting men, which is not quite what I'm after...




What you're supposed to do (apparently) is hang around looking clueless as though you can't figure out how to operate the machines. Then some nice young girl who's arrived to do her washing will show you how to do it. You'll explain that you've just moved into a new flat, washing machine not yet installed, never used a launderette* etc. etc., thank her, joke a bit, and then - when both of you have your washing loaded and going - you suggest nipping over to the pub across the road for a quick drink while the machines get on with it. 

And then from there's it's up to you.  

* What we Brits call it.


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## Andreas (Jul 25, 2006)

Jonny Nexus said:
			
		

> And then from there's it's up to you.




But do not tell her about your character!


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## BOZ (Jul 25, 2006)

even if she asks?


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## KenM (Jul 25, 2006)

http://www.cruisegazing.com/RPG_Motivational/ComeOn.jpg


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## GeorgeFields (Jul 26, 2006)

BOZ said:
			
		

> even if she asks?




Nope! If she BEGS, that's another story.....


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## BOZ (Jul 26, 2006)

"Do you think that she wants to hear about your Drizzt clone?"

actually, yes - and why wouldn't she?    don't girls usually find RPG characters to be big turn-ons?


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## Balgus (Jul 26, 2006)

From what I remember, Yahoo Personals and match.com were sued for this.  Where they would have employees to set up fake accounts and even had some go out with subscribers as decoys.  

Plus, they would keep canceled accounts running if they have a couple pretty/ provocative pics.  



			
				trancejeremy said:
			
		

> I've been shopping for groceries for close to 20 years now, and I've never met anyone that way.  I think that only works in commercials.  Laundry mats are also much less glamorous in real life than on TV



Unless you see it in slow motion...


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## DerHauptman (Jul 28, 2006)

Bront said:
			
		

> Actualy, AOL is even worse with this.  They've managed to track down the new numbers of cards that have been changed and charge them (which is illegal last I checked).  Did that to my Fiance several times.  They also charged her for her ex's account without asking either (Again, illegal).  Leaving AOL was at one point like leaving a gang or the mob, but worse, since they often didn't relent even if you were dead.





Agreed, I got new cards at once point because they were just not listening to me.  I lost them so I didn't get a new card just for that reason alone but I figured hell I can finally get away from these (and I used this word) frigging gangsters now since i changed cards (although not accounts).  I'll be damned if they didn't somehow charge my new card #, one that I did not give them.  

Similar thing happened with verizon.  When I switched to their phone service they sent me some crap for DSL.  I didn't want or order it so I figured they just auto send it to everyone so they can try if they want to.  They started charging me 39.95 for the e-mail service.  Since I am a soldier and go back and forth to the Middle East off and on for months at a time I didn't call them on it till 4 months later and they kept telling me I requested the crap on line.  I finally got them to take the stuff off.  Then they charged me an early termination fee - LOL, for something I never asked for in the first place.  

To make a long story short it took me a year to get it taken off and resolved (they kept my like 200+ dollars the whole time BTW).  Then the irony of all ironies 3 months later they sent the same kit and tried the same thing.  Took me 3 months to get it taken off and resolved that time.   

Some of these new things are like frigging protection rackets I swear.  It can't be just me.  I imagine they do this to everyone - just send it and sign you up.  Most people give up after a while and just change to their service.  Its like blackmail or a press gang tactic.


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## Harmon (Jul 28, 2006)

Reading all these "I got charged for serves I didn't sign up for, or that I cancelled," seems like something a DA needs to be contacted about, though I have as much hope about that going anywhere positive as I do my chances at winning another lottery.

BBB and Consumer Afairs is aware of all of these, and you are all posting on boards about this stuff to keep others away is there anything else someone can do (aside from the DA idea- cause that ante going anywhere).

Take care all.


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## Merkuri (Jul 31, 2006)

*OKCupid*

Try www.OKCupid.com.  It has ads and accepts donations, but otherwise it's completely free.  You don't have to worry about them charging your card without your knowledge, because you don't need to give them a card!

I joined OKCupid a few years ago at the end of my last job.  After chatting with a guy (yes, I'm female) online for a few months I went out on a date with him and have been in a wonderful relationship ever since.  We just had our two-year anniversary at the beginning of this month and we've been living together for almost a year.  Never looked back. 

OKCupid works by asking you a series of multiple-choice questions (most of which are submitted by users and approved by the OKCupid staff).  You give your own answer, then you select how you think your ideal mate would answer, and then you select how important the question is to you.  It then compares your "ideal mate" answers with other users, weights the questions according to your "importance" score (so questions that aren't as important to you don't affect your score as much) and gives you a percentage of how much that person "matches" your ideal mate.  They do the same in reverse (compare your answers to the other person's ideal mate's answers) and average the two scores to get your "couple" score.  The more questions you answer, the better matches you get.  It'll only count questions you've both answered.  Generally, scores above 80% are someone you'd probably want to go out with.  I believe my BF and I had an 88% or 87% match.

It has a lot of other stuff you can do on the site, but that's the meat of it.  And unless they've changed drastically in the couple years I've been away, it's completely free.


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## trancejeremy (Jul 31, 2006)

Hmmmm. That was the site that had the "RPG Class Test" that was a thread here a couple months ago.


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## Merkuri (Aug 1, 2006)

I didn't see the test you mentioned, but I wouldn't be surprised.  One of the fun things they do is allow users to make quizzes for other users to take.  You can see other people's results of the same tests.


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## trancejeremy (Aug 1, 2006)

Well, thanks for mentioning it. It's a very interesting site, although I'm not sure about the matching. One of my highest matches was a bisexual militant feminest socialist who works for a credit card company.  None of that is necessarily bad, but not exactly what I would expect an 80+ match of me to be.


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## Merkuri (Aug 1, 2006)

Heh, remember that the more questions you answer, the better your matches will be.  It also doesn't check you against everyone at once.  It keeps going through the records and finding more people.  You may see a 99% match jump up on you one day if you keep looking.  Although you're not going to see a 99% match until you answer a LOT of questions.  I forget the exact math, but they figure out the standard deviation based on the number of questions you answer and subtract that from the match score they get.  They figure this means they're showing you the minimum possible amount that you match.  This means that even if your answers match someone else 100% if you've only answered 10 questions you'll have a standard deviation of 48 points (did not do any math, just picked a number to use as an example) it'll show your score as 52%.  That means that until you answer more questions, 52% is the highest percentage you'll see.

They have a better explanation of how it works on the site.  It's been a while since I checked out the site, but that's how it worked when I used it.

I remember it was a lot of fun to answer questions.  Most of them were very interesting and made me stop and think.  I think I answered all the questions they had (it was around 1,000 at the time) in four days, simply because it was entertaining to answer them.

I guess the one thing that might make OKCupid not work is if you don't know what you want.  It soley uses your "ideal mate" answers to figure out how much someone matches you, and if you don't know what your "ideal mate" would answer then you're out of luck.  Don't be afraid to skip questions or mark them "not important".  For example, if you don't care how your potential mate feels about politics and there's a question about politics you can mark it "not important" so that question won't affect your match.


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## Merkuri (Aug 1, 2006)

trancejeremy said:
			
		

> Well, thanks for mentioning it. It's a very interesting site, although I'm not sure about the matching. One of my highest matches was a bisexual militant feminest socialist who works for a credit card company.  None of that is necessarily bad, but not exactly what I would expect an 80+ match of me to be.




Remember that the "match" number you see is actually an average of how you match her and how she matches you.  You may be her ideal person (match 100%) but she only matches you 60%, so the average of that is 80%.  In theory that doesn't happen very often, but it might explan really wierd matches you see.


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## awayfarer (Aug 1, 2006)

Merk, I see you beat me to it.  

I could swear reading somewhere on the OKCupid site that the highest match you could possibly get was a 94 or 95%, taking into account that well, people is people.


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## Merkuri (Aug 2, 2006)

awayfarer said:
			
		

> Merk, I see you beat me to it.




In case that wasn't obvious (and I suspect it wasn't) Awayfarer is the lucky guy who found me through OKCupid.


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## trancejeremy (Aug 2, 2006)

Heh, I guessed. (Congratulations).

Anyway, it's very definitely an entertaining site, but after answering more questions (around 800), my new high match (86%) is perhaps even less suitable.  Most of her profile seems to be in yuppie-ish, a lot of it I can't decipher, some of it I think is about wind brands, but much of the other stuff eludes me. After her, it pretty much drops into the 70%s (unless I include people far older/younger).

I seem to be a match for her only because I like cats (if you look in the Tests section of a person's profile, you can see which answers they picked as important)

Still, at least it's not like E-harmony where I spend probably 2 hours filling out questions, only to get rejected .  

And it's a very very interesting site. Personals sites are actually sort of a hobby of mine. I don't expect ever getting a reply (since well, I don't), but I do enjoy reading them for some reason. Guess it's sort of like reality TV, but with realer people.


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