# Mike Mearls Ruined Everything



## Old Gumphrey (Aug 22, 2010)

He's in my kitchen mixing d20's into my pie crust.


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## UngeheuerLich (Aug 22, 2010)

No, Mike Mearls fixed everything Andy Collins did wrong.


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## abyssaldeath (Aug 22, 2010)

I like Dungeons and Dragons.


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## Old Gumphrey (Aug 22, 2010)

UngeheuerLich said:


> No, Mike Mearls fixed everything Andy Collins did wrong.




But Andy Collins put d8's in my pizza mix...


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## Mercurius (Aug 22, 2010)

But the question is, which die type is the most marginalized? Is it the d8 or the d12 or maybe the d4?

I'm voting for the d12--it doesn't get enough love, especially since the days of S-M/L weapon damage.


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## WhatGravitas (Aug 22, 2010)

Mercurius said:


> I'm voting for the d12--it doesn't get enough love, especially since the days of S-M/L weapon damage.



Eh, it's the humble d100 roll, especially the second d10 (y'know, the one with 00, 10, 20, etc.).

Not enough random tables, nowadays!

Cheers, LT.


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## Vartan (Aug 22, 2010)

Lord Tirian said:


> Eh, it's the humble d100 roll, especially the second d10 (y'know, the one with 00, 10, 20, etc.).
> 
> Not enough random tables, nowadays!
> 
> Cheers, LT.




Agreed. Thanks to Rangers we're now living in the Golden Age of the d12, but I can't think of any occasion in the 4E rules that calls for a percentile roll.


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## Nytmare (Aug 22, 2010)

Lord Tirian said:


> Eh, it's the humble d100 roll, especially the second d10 (y'know, the one with 00, 10, 20, etc.).
> 
> Not enough random tables, nowadays!
> 
> Cheers, LT.





Um, hello?  D30 anyone?


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## malraux (Aug 22, 2010)

d26, cuz you can't even buy them.


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## Scribble (Aug 22, 2010)

Nytmare said:


> Um, hello?  D30 anyone?




I tried to buy a d30 the other day... The store owner laughed and said: "Good Luck!"


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## Obryn (Aug 22, 2010)

Mercurius said:


> But the question is, which die type is the most marginalized? Is it the d8 or the d12 or maybe the d4?
> 
> I'm voting for the d12--it doesn't get enough love, especially since the days of S-M/L weapon damage.



Out of the six players at my table each week, two are utterly dependent on d12s for their weapon dice.  (And because two don't use weapons, that's half of the weapon-users.)  d12's get a LOT of love in 4e.

If there's an unloved die in 4e, it's the d4.  Unless you're a rogue, you probably don't use them. 

-O


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## Fifth Element (Aug 22, 2010)

Scribble said:


> I tried to buy a d30 the other day... The store owner laughed and said: "Good Luck!"



I probably have a couple I could spare...


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## RigaMortus2 (Aug 22, 2010)

Nytmare said:


> Um, hello?  D30 anyone?




I still got my d30!


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## Nytmare (Aug 22, 2010)

RigaMortus2 said:


> I still got my d30!




Does anyone remember the book full of different d30 charts and tables that was published at some point in the late 80s?  Charts like "What your mother hid in your pack before you left home" and "What did I just stub my toe on?"


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## Greg K (Aug 22, 2010)

UngeheuerLich said:


> No, Mike Mearls fixed everything Andy Collins did wrong.




I thought it was what Rob Heinsoo did wrong.


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## Scribble (Aug 22, 2010)

Fifth Element said:


> I probably have a couple I could spare...




You are teh awesome.


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## Nytmare (Aug 23, 2010)

*ROLL A D30 TO SEE WHAT MIKE MEARLS HAS RUINED*

Killer whales
Beans
Calvin and Hobbes
Light bulbs
The Tonight Show
Curling
Punk rock
Gene Simmons
Darwinism
Sunday Afternoon
The Oscars
Biscuits
The Parrot Sketch
Golf
The Republican Party
Sharpies
Motzart's Fifth
Steven King's The Stand
The dinosaurs
Honor School Students
Sea shells
Cursive
Hamburg
Molybdenum
Kickstands
The pompitous
Water Polo
The Spice Girls
Teflon coated pans
The environment
​


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## Vartan (Aug 23, 2010)

You can call it d30 all you want, but I don't care what you or the manufacturer say...it's _really_ just an attempt to sneak *d20.5* in under the radar.


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## surfarcher (Aug 23, 2010)

I have this rash and the cream from the doctor just _doesn't seem to be helping_.

Do any of you guys have a suggestion?  From the sound of it you have suffered far worse rashes.

(sorry, but that seemed just as relevant as the rest of this thread)


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## Nytmare (Aug 23, 2010)

surfarcher said:


> Do any of you guys have a suggestion?




You probably got that rash from Mike Mearls.


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## Piratecat (Aug 23, 2010)

Nytmare said:


> You probably got that rash from Mike Mearls.



 Mike Mearls ruins everything. Except rashes.


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## RHGreen (Aug 23, 2010)

I stopped liking Mike Mearls when he started ghost writing for George Lucas.

Apparantly he stole Dom Simmon's soul and then tricked the world into believing he didn't exist by limping.


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## Kralin Thornberry (Aug 23, 2010)

Wow, perhaps you guys should think about introducing Mike Mearls to Chuck Norris!


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## Vael (Aug 23, 2010)

Mike Mearls ruined Chuck Norris. Or at least his meme. For which I am eternally grateful.


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## Kralin Thornberry (Aug 23, 2010)

Vael said:


> Mike Mearls ruined Chuck Norris. Or at least his meme. For which I am eternally grateful.




I believe you have a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in your future sir!


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## Herschel (Aug 23, 2010)

Kralin Thornberry said:


> Wow, perhaps you guys should think about introducing Mike Mearls to Chuck Norris!




Mike Mearls ruined Chuck Norris, and now we have Richard Simmons.


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## RHGreen (Aug 23, 2010)

Mike Mearls is best friends with Steven Seagul.

Steven Seagul ate Chuck Norris.


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## Greatwyrm (Aug 23, 2010)

Ever since the honorable gentlemen over at the Bear Swarm Podcast told me about Mike Mearls, I haven't wanted anything to do with the guy.


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## Korgoth (Aug 23, 2010)

The sad thing is, Mike Mearls is going to ruin Mike Mearls next. And that means he will have jumped the shark, which will also ruin sharks.


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## Mercurius (Aug 23, 2010)

I apologize for the pseudo-threadjack re: dice marginalization. That said, I apologize even more profusely because I forgot about the d30--simply _the _most marginalized die in the history of the game. 

And yes, I still own one--it must be about 25 years old, maybe closer to 30. It is emeral green, translucent, and without colored lines for the numbers. Old Skool.


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## ourchair (Aug 23, 2010)

The d5 is the d6's shorter but more handsome brother.

Reports are that he's well hung to boot.


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## Obryn (Aug 23, 2010)

Korgoth said:


> The sad thing is, Mike Mearls is going to ruin Mike Mearls next. And that means he will have jumped the shark, which will also ruin sharks.



Does that mean Mike Mearls has jumped Mike Mearls?  Mike Mearls should totally kick Mike Mearls's ass for that.

-O


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## darjr (Aug 23, 2010)

Mercurius said:


> I apologize for the pseudo-threadjack re: dice marginalization. That said, I apologize even more profusely because I forgot about the d30--simply _the _most marginalized die in the history of the game.
> 
> And yes, I still own one--it must be about 25 years old, maybe closer to 30. It is emeral green, translucent, and without colored lines for the numbers. Old Skool.




And it's ruined now, all because of Mike Mearls!


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## Gloomshroud (Aug 23, 2010)

I'll take my trusty d3, TYVM. 

And to throw out another random meme clash: What happens to Mike Mearls if he gets Rick Rolled????


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## Arivendel (Aug 23, 2010)

Ah Mike Mearls... you are this Industries' Chuck Norris


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## Nahat Anoj (Aug 23, 2010)

Mike Mearls ruined the ozone layer.


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## NMcCoy (Aug 23, 2010)

Gloomshroud said:


> What happens to Mike Mearls if he gets Rick Rolled????




He ruins it, obviously. 

Incidentally, Dark Sun has added rules for playing as Mike Mearls:

*Ruin Everything * Arcane Feature
*_You draw upon the vitality of nearby life to fuel your magic, heedless of the harm you cause to the land and your allies.
_At-Will * Arcane, Necrotic
Free Action * Personal 
_Trigger:_ You make an attack roll or a damage roll as part of an arcane daily attack power.
_Effect:_  You can reroll the triggering roll but must use the second result. In  addition, each ally (willing or unwilling) within 20 squares of you  takes necrotic damage equal to half his or her healing surge value. This  damage ignores immunities and cannot be reduced in any way.
_Special:_  You can use this effect once for any arcane daily attack power you use,  affecting any single attack roll or the damage roll for that power.


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## DonAdam (Aug 23, 2010)

"Ruin Everything" should have the Mike Mearls keyword, and inflict the ruined (save ends) condition.

With an aftereffect: The target is ruined.


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## Herschel (Aug 23, 2010)

WotC was creating a new, lush campaign world ala Pandora when Mike Mearls came to put on the finishing touches.

We got Dark Sun.


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## ExploderWizard (Aug 23, 2010)

Nytmare said:


> Does anyone remember the book full of different d30 charts and tables that was published at some point in the late 80s? Charts like "What your mother hid in your pack before you left home" and "What did I just stub my toe on?"




I still have that, along with the 30 sided character one and the ultimate: 
30 sided adventure!! 

A die so useless it requires it's own special supplements= win.


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## Henry (Aug 23, 2010)

Nytmare said:


> *ROLL A D30 TO SEE WHAT MIKE MEARLS HAS RUINED*​





I wouldn't be surprised if I hear in the future that Mike has a copy of this posted on his office door/entry to his cube. 



			
				NMcCoy said:
			
		

> Incidentally, Dark Sun has added rules for playing as Mike Mearls:




Robert Schwalb already has this moniker:
http://www.sarahdarkmagic.com/content/i-was-defiled-robert-schwalb​


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## TerraDave (Aug 23, 2010)

Obryn said:


> it's the d4.
> -O




They remain effective caltrops.


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## Zieche (Aug 23, 2010)

Don't worry about the dice. Mike Mearls removed all dice from all games ever.


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## FabioMilitoPagliara (Aug 23, 2010)

don't start an hybrid grognard/fanboy on dice...

the only dice that should be used in D&D are the ones based on platonic solid, if you want to roll a d10 you will use a d20 and that's it

and d12 should get more love, much more

d12 should be used for a lot of attack power, what is this 2d6 nonsense?

roll 2d12 for initiative what is d20 initiative?

so to be D&D it should be d4, d6, d8, d12 and d20 (numbered from 1 to 10 or from 1 to 20 the shape is more important then numeration....)


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## malraux (Aug 23, 2010)

When Mike Mearls rolls a d4, it always comes up Natural 20.


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## RHGreen (Aug 23, 2010)

malraux said:


> When Mike Mearls rolls a d4, it always comes up Natural 20.




And then a little bit of good in the world dies.

It's what happened to Santa Claus, Ghandi, Mother Teresa and kittens.


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## Old Gumphrey (Aug 23, 2010)

Every time Mike Mearls rolls a natural 20, fuel prices change.


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## mysticknight232 (Aug 23, 2010)

Mike Mearls ruined 4.5e and now it doesn't exist anymore.


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## Herschel (Aug 23, 2010)

Lex Luthor and the legion of super villains called (along with comic artists everywhere) lamenting the loss of their main plot point, threat and schtick. Now they have to try and eek out a living making harsh restaurant and book reviews.

Mike Mearls ruined ruining.


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## Mirtek (Aug 23, 2010)

Greg K said:


> I thought it was what Rob Heinsoo did wrong.




I thought 3.x did everything wrong and 4e was the best thing since sliced bread?

Wait, that was in the 4e marketing phase, now we're in the 4eE marketing phase.

Can't wait for the 4e Ultra (or whatever it'll be called once WotC needs their predictable next huge sales spike) marketing phase when everyone will be praising it for fixing the horrible mistakes of 4e Essentials


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## Greatwyrm (Aug 24, 2010)

Herschel said:


> Lex Luthor




Talk about a poor-man's Mike Mearls.


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## Roland55 (Aug 24, 2010)

Fifth Element said:


> I probably have a couple I could spare...




Sigh.

Years ago (OK ... maybe decades ago) I went through my "acquiring dice phase."

Yeah, I've got d30.  Lots of 'em.  And lots of every other darned die!


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## RHGreen (Aug 24, 2010)

I found a d3 in my local pub the other day.


Perhaps it was a threat from Mike Mearls.

Like a horse head in bed.


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## Nytmare (Aug 24, 2010)

AnonGemini said:


> Perhaps it was a threat from Mike Mearls.




Yeah that's how he operates.  It's a two part threat.

If you stumble upon a d0, you'll know that it's too late...


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## TarionzCousin (Aug 24, 2010)

Nytmare said:


> *ROLL A D30 TO SEE WHAT MIKE MEARLS HAS RUINED*
> *[*]The Spice Girls*​


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## I'm A Banana (Aug 24, 2010)

I wonder what's gonna happen when mearls and the Rouse fight...

The nerd rage is over 9,000!


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## Plane Sailing (Aug 24, 2010)

Mike Mearls planned to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!


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## Henry (Aug 24, 2010)

Plane Sailing said:


> Mike Mearls planned to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!




Yeah, but Mearls ruined that by changing it to a 1/encounter power.


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## jbear (Aug 25, 2010)

hehehe... well this was one of the most bizarre threads that I've read in a while!

Brilliant.

What was it about again?


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## TarionzCousin (Aug 25, 2010)

jbear said:


> hehehe... well this was one of the most bizarre threads that I've read in a while!
> 
> Brilliant.
> 
> What was it about again?



Mini-Mearls.


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## webrunner (Aug 25, 2010)

jbear said:


> hehehe... well this was one of the most bizarre threads that I've read in a while!
> 
> Brilliant.
> 
> What was it about again?




The thread used to make sense, then Mearls used an at-will that targets all sense in burst 3.


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## darjr (Aug 25, 2010)

Yup.

Another thread ruined by Mearls. He hasn't even posted in it.


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## malraux (Aug 25, 2010)

Can mearls ruin a thread so bad, even he couldn't make it any worse?


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## Korgoth (Aug 25, 2010)

malraux said:


> Can mearls ruin a thread so bad, even he couldn't make it any worse?




Great. Now Mearls has ruined philosophy.


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## Mustrum_Ridcully (Aug 25, 2010)

Mirtek said:


> I thought 3.x did everything wrong and 4e was the best thing since sliced bread?
> 
> Wait, that was in the 4e marketing phase, now we're in the 4eE marketing phase.
> 
> Can't wait for the 4e Ultra (or whatever it'll be called once WotC needs their predictable next huge sales spike) marketing phase when everyone will be praising it for fixing the horrible mistakes of 4e Essentials



D&D Fundamentals perhaps? Followed by D&D Centre?

D&D Centre? Mike Mearls is Jarod the Pretender?


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## Nahat Anoj (Aug 25, 2010)

darjr said:


> Another thread ruined by Mearls. He hasn't even posted in it.



Mearls can ruin things by doing nothing.


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## darjr (Aug 25, 2010)

Nahat Anoj said:


> Mearls can ruin things by doing nothing.




How very Zen.

Oh no... not Zen!


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## malraux (Aug 25, 2010)

darjr said:


> How very Zen.
> 
> Oh no... not Zen!




It could be worse.  Imagine if mearls decides to take a deep breath; he could ruin oxygen.


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## ggroy (Aug 25, 2010)

Old Gumphrey said:


> He's in my kitchen mixing d20's into my pie crust.




d20's made out of chocolate.


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## Greatwyrm (Aug 25, 2010)

Mearls' real evil hasn't even been unleashed.  5e will not only be a different system, it'll be based around the d21.  It invalidates all your old material AND all your old dice.


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## Thrael (Aug 26, 2010)

darjr said:


> Another thread ruined by Mearls. He hasn't even posted in it.




Now can he also ruin stuff by not ruining it?

*my brain exploded*


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## TarionzCousin (Aug 26, 2010)

Korgoth said:


> Great. Now Mearls has ruined philosophy.



What is the sound of one Mearls clapping?


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## Aegeri (Aug 26, 2010)

Not to derail the thread by being all "Serious Business" but has anyone else noticed the Wizards people are noticeably absent from the internet lately? I haven't seen Mike or others post around here for a while.

Actually, they are most likely putting themselves in a nuclear proof bunker to prepare for the essentials firestorm.


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## Greatwyrm (Aug 26, 2010)

If people talked about me on the internet in the same way they talk about folks at WotC, you probably wouldn't see much of me either.


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## Henry (Aug 26, 2010)

Aegeri said:


> Not to derail the thread by being all "Serious Business" but has anyone else noticed the Wizards people are noticeably absent from the internet lately? I haven't seen Mike or others post around here for a while.
> 
> Actually, they are most likely putting themselves in a nuclear proof bunker to prepare for the essentials firestorm.




If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably catch-up time back at the offices, because I can imagine a lot of things get delayed until after Gencon when it gets right up to about two or three weeks prior to a major con. Then, after they get back, it's throwing into high gear all that work that got delayed because of convention season. If anything, the sheer amount of internet presence just prior to Gencon, Origins, et. al. is likely the exception, rather than the rule, because if you're in "wait" mode, you have more time to surf, I'd guess.

But then, Mearls might pop up, contradict what I just said, and ruin THAT, too.


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## darjr (Aug 26, 2010)

Is the convention season over? Isn't PAX next?

Uh oh... somebody better warn Gabe!


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## malraux (Aug 26, 2010)

Aegeri said:


> Not to derail the thread by being all "Serious Business" but has anyone else noticed the Wizards people are noticeably absent from the internet lately? I haven't seen Mike or others post around here for a while.
> 
> Actually, they are most likely putting themselves in a nuclear proof bunker to prepare for the essentials firestorm.




I've seen mearls and peter lee pretty active at BGG doing stuff related to Ravenloft.


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## Ulorian - Agent of Chaos (Aug 26, 2010)

Aegeri said:


> I haven't seen Mike or others post around here for a while.



He commented on the first post in this thread.

Mearls: I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet... buried alive! Buried alive...!
Kirk: MEARLLLLLLSSSSSS!


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## mearls (Aug 26, 2010)

Aegeri said:


> I haven't seen Mike or others post around here for a while.




Here's a post to point out that I haven't posted in a while. Note that this post does not count as an actual post, per se, but is merely an observation regarding the lack of posts and should not be regarded as an actual post for purposes of determining my last post as such.

I hope that's clear.


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## Bold or Stupid (Aug 26, 2010)

mearls said:


> Here's a post to point out that I haven't posted in a while. Note that this post does not count as an actual post, per se, but is merely an observation regarding the lack of posts and should not be regarded as an actual post for purposes of determining my last post as such.
> 
> I hope that's clear.




What is clear is that this thread is now ruined. I wash my hands of it.


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## Korgoth (Aug 27, 2010)

mearls said:


> Here's a post to point out that I haven't posted in a while. Note that this post does not count as an actual post, per se, but is merely an observation regarding the lack of posts and should not be regarded as an actual post for purposes of determining my last post as such.
> 
> I hope that's clear.




EN World = RUINED.


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## Aegeri (Aug 27, 2010)

mearls said:


> Here's a post to point out that I haven't posted in a while. Note that this post does not count as an actual post, per se, but is merely an observation regarding the lack of posts and should not be regarded as an actual post for purposes of determining my last post as such.
> 
> I hope that's clear.



I see what you did there.

Are you posting this from your fortified underground bunker? The flames are already getting out of control over the upcoming essentials. I fear there could be DnD related riots world wide.


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## FabioMilitoPagliara (Aug 27, 2010)

mearls said:


> Here's a post to point out that I haven't posted in a while. Note that this post does not count as an actual post, per se, but is merely an observation regarding the lack of posts and should not be regarded as an actual post for purposes of determining my last post as such.
> 
> I hope that's clear.




could you elaborate a little more on how this is not an actual post?

note that this should not be considered as a question


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## webrunner (Aug 27, 2010)

FabioMilitoPagliara said:


> could you elaborate a little more on how this is not an actual post?
> 
> note that this should not be considered as a question




Can it be used to hold up a fence?


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## Old Gumphrey (Aug 27, 2010)

Can you put it in a belly button?


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## Mustrum_Ridcully (Aug 30, 2010)

Old Gumphrey said:


> Can you put it in a belly button?



Now he ruined belly buttons!

Mustrum "I could try to post an appropriate link, but not sure if it is considered SFW and Grandma appropriate" Ridcully


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## barbarianguy (Aug 30, 2010)

THIS. THREAD. IS. EPIC. Thats all there is to say......


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## Storminator (Aug 30, 2010)

Nahat Anoj said:


> Mearls can ruin things by doing nothing.




Now Mearls has ruined doing nothing.

PS


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## FabioMilitoPagliara (Aug 30, 2010)

barbarianguy said:


> THIS. THREAD. IS. EPIC. Thats all there is to say......




and there goes Epic..... let's hope for the tier that should be not named so it cannot be ruined....


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## abyssaldeath (Aug 30, 2010)

FabioMilitoPagliara said:


> and there goes Epic..... let's hope for the tier that should be not named so it cannot be ruined....



Now Mearls has ruined tiers.


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## pedr (Aug 31, 2010)

abyssaldeath said:


> Now Mearls has ruined tiers.



Mike Mearls ruined crying.


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## Old Gumphrey (Aug 31, 2010)

Guys. I already covered this in the OP. Everything, by definition, is already ruined. But given Mearls' power of ruination, I can only surmise that he is capable of *RE*-ruining things.


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## Mustrum_Ridcully (Aug 31, 2010)

Old Gumphrey said:


> Guys. I alradey covreed tihs in teh OP. Evryethnig, by defniitoin, is alraedy riuned. But gievn Maerls' pwoer of runiation, I can olny srumsie tath he is cabaple of *RE*-runiing thnigs.



Snice yuor frsit psot is reniud nwo, owh culod we konw?

..mearls was here


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## Nytmare (Aug 31, 2010)

Mustrum_Ridcully said:


> Snice yuor frsit psot is reniud nwo, owh culod we konw?
> 
> ..mearls was here




Oh.  My.  God.


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## Jack99 (Aug 31, 2010)

Aegeri said:


> I see what you did there.
> 
> Are you posting this from your fortified underground bunker? The flames are already getting out of control over the upcoming essentials. I fear there could be DnD related riots world wide.




Obviously, the WotC guys care little for flames, as they are all equipped with a (copy of) Icingdeath when hired. 

My guess is that Mearls has two, and made them stack by ruining the stacking rules.

Resist 60 fire should be enough to deal with the relative lowlevel flamers around the boards.


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## TarionzCousin (Aug 31, 2010)

Old Gumphrey said:


> Guys. I already covered this in the OP. Everything, by definition, is already ruined. But given Mearls' power of ruination, I can only surmise that he is capable of *RE*-ruining things.



Obviously Old Gumphrey has been compromised ruined. Be on your toes, people.


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## SkidAce (Aug 31, 2010)

And the Mearls comes in the night...ruininatng the countryside.


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## sabrinathecat (Sep 3, 2010)

Nytmare said:


> Does anyone remember the book full of different d30 charts and tables that was published at some point in the late 80s? Charts like "What your mother hid in your pack before you left home" and "What did I just stub my toe on?"




Was that the "Central Casting" books? The first one was "Heroes of Legend", then "Heroes for Tomorrow" followed by "Heroes NOW!". They also made a random dungeon generator, but it was only so/so. Aside from becoming overly PC in NOW, the books became progressively better.


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## Scribble (Sep 3, 2010)

*Arcana DC 25:* Parents tell children that if they misbehave, mearls will come to take them away. According to stories. the torsos of mearls is carved with ritual markings that allow him to pass between worlds at places where the veil is thin and shadows are thick. His home is the Shadowfell, where his ancient master (Bill Slavicsek) dwells in a dark tower.


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## scylis (Sep 3, 2010)

GAAAHH! This hurts my brain!
Quick! Think about purple elephants! Think about purple elephants!

OH NO! Now I'm thinking about Mike Mearls ruining purple elephants! _*EVERYTHING IS RUINED FOREVER!*_


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## CovertOps (Sep 3, 2010)

On a more serious note I wonder what Mike thinks of his new quasi-celebrity status.  Has it gone to his head?  OH NO!  Now Mike has ruined his own head!


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## Tony Vargas (Sep 15, 2010)

Interestingly, this thread is being used as an example of the virulent hatred of 4e D&D that has gripped our community for the last two years over here...

The Escapist : Red Box Renaissance

It'd be nice if a few ENers commented on said article and set the guy straight.


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## FabioMilitoPagliara (Sep 15, 2010)

Tony Vargas said:


> Interestingly, this thread is being used as an example of the virulent hatred of 4e D&D that has gripped our community for the last two years over here...
> 
> The Escapist : Red Box Renaissance
> 
> It'd be nice if a few ENers commented on said article and set the guy straight.




done


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## Nahat Anoj (Sep 15, 2010)

Tony Vargas said:


> Interestingly, this thread is being used as an example of the virulent hatred of 4e D&D that has gripped our community for the last two years over here...
> 
> The Escapist : Red Box Renaissance
> 
> It'd be nice if a few ENers commented on said article and set the guy straight.



Mike Mearls ruined that Escapist blogger's reptuation as an interviewer.


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## JoJa (Sep 15, 2010)

Mike Mearls ruined blogging!


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## Herschel (Sep 15, 2010)

sabrinathecat said:


> Was that the "Central Casting" books? The first one was "Heroes of Legend", then "Heroes for Tomorrow" followed by "Heroes NOW!". They also made a random dungeon generator, but it was only so/so. Aside from becoming overly PC in NOW, the books became progressively better.




Are you trying to ruin this thread? You will be served with a Cease & Desist as ruination is the intellectual property of one Mike Mearls.


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## Shemeska (Sep 15, 2010)

CovertOps said:


> On a more serious note I wonder what Mike thinks of his new quasi-celebrity status.  Has it gone to his head?  OH NO!  Now Mike has ruined his own head!




You guys are making him into the next Rouse to lionize, whether he wants it or not. *chuckle*


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## Korgoth (Sep 15, 2010)

Tony Vargas said:


> Interestingly, this thread is being used as an example of the virulent hatred of 4e D&D that has gripped our community for the last two years over here...
> 
> The Escapist : Red Box Renaissance
> 
> It'd be nice if a few ENers commented on said article and set the guy straight.




Mike Mearls really ruined that Mike Mearls interview. You can't even interview Mike Mearls any more without Mike Mearls coming in and ruining it.


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## Dedekind (Sep 15, 2010)

I was on the road to London when Mike Mearls and his Merry Men took all my gp 

Then he ruined my archery contest >:-{


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## UngeheuerLich (Sep 15, 2010)

doesn´t really belong here... but if this was a serious thread, that would have been my response:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpWpdcR63ms&feature=channel]YouTube - There's Always an A-Hole on the Internet[/ame]


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## UngeheuerLich (Sep 15, 2010)

double post[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpWpdcR63ms&feature=channel"][/ame]


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## Nytmare (Sep 15, 2010)

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/articles/ArchonThe article and comments are depressing me more than anything else.

I'm up for starting an "Alexander Macris Ruined Everything" thread.


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## UngeheuerLich (Sep 15, 2010)

The article was badly researched and badly arranged... so you can´t take it seriously...

but in the end: maybe people who were dissatisfied with 4e will have another look at it and in the end it may have a positive effect...


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## Nytmare (Sep 15, 2010)

I don't know, the vibe I was getting from the comments seemed to be the standard "Yeah, you're right, let's get 'em!!!"

The fact that Alex has responded to each of the, what I'm assuming are Enworlder's posts, with counter attacks that completely ignore the fact that this thread isn't a slam on Mearls (cause Mearls ruined slams!) is what bugged me the most.

I'll keep my fingers crossed either way.


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## Raunalyn (Sep 15, 2010)

So, did Mike Mearls ruin....ruins?

GAH!!! The humanity! When will it end???


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## nookiemonster (Sep 15, 2010)

Mike Mearls casts spells as a 10th-level fighter, fights in melee as a 17th-level gnome illusionist and can only be hit by cursed weapons.


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## apmacris (Sep 16, 2010)

Nahat Anoj said:


> Mike Mearls ruined that Escapist blogger's reptuation as an interviewer.




I would laugh, but Mike Mearls ruined my sense of humor!

Anyway, I actually responded to this whole thing over on The Escapist. I doubt you've seen it (why would you) but I did get that this thread was a joke. I mean, I found it, read it, and linked to it. I just used it as shorthand for the hatemongering assuming people would "get" it. Instead they just assumed I didn't. In retrospect I wish I had said "the hate has gotten so out of control that EnWorld has a thread satirizing the whole phenomenon" or something like that. 

BTW, Nahat, I actually did laugh. Now, please excuse me, as RPG.net has declared a fatwah on me and I have to go into hiding.


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## Aegeri (Sep 16, 2010)

I found the comments on it hilarious myself. Especially as the author thinks he was being defensive of Mike Mearls. It really doesn't read that way to me or anyone over on PA (who were sent into a furor over it).


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## kaomera (Sep 16, 2010)

abyssaldeath said:


> I like Dungeons and Dragons.



Me too.


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## apmacris (Sep 16, 2010)

Why did I treat it as if it was serious? 

I have a dry sense of humor, I guess. In the actual interview, my question was a tongue-in-cheek "how does it feel to be the D&D antichrist to so many people?" When I wrote up the essay, I didn't think the humor came through, so I grasped around for something I thought was amusing but still made the point that there was this whole "Mike Mearls/4th edition = bad" meme out there. I mean, there are plenty of actual threads filled with genuine villification of the guy and the game so if I had wanted to use one of those, I could have. But this thread had made me laugh, so that's what I used. I figured people would click through and enjoy it, as compared to clicking through and getting, you know, actual hate.

I certainly didn't mean to cause you guys any rage. But sometimes no matter what you do, it's bad. Mike Mearls ruined my chances of pleasing everyone.


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## Greatwyrm (Sep 16, 2010)

apmacris said:


> I certainly didn't mean to cause you guys any rage. But sometimes no matter what you do, it's bad.




And now, if just for the span of one breath, you know what it's like to be Mike Mearls.  Heck, you even got to ruin something.


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## apmacris (Sep 16, 2010)

Greatwyrm said:


> And now, if just for the span of one breath, you know what it's like to be Mike Mearls.  Heck, you even got to ruin something.




Well, what can I say? That was one of the funniest internet put-downs I've received in my entire life, and a good point to boot.

Mike Mearls ruined my chances of having a comeback to your wit, so I surrender!


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## Riley (Sep 16, 2010)

Mike Mearls ruined Comic Sans.


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## Aegeri (Sep 16, 2010)

apmacris said:


> I mean, there are plenty of actual threads filled with genuine villification of the guy and the game so if I had wanted to use one of those, I could have. But this thread had made me laugh, so that's what I used. I figured people would click through and enjoy it, as compared to clicking through and getting, you know, actual hate.




Everyone at another forum I go to immediately assumed that ENWorld was a hive of anti-4E plus Mike Mearls scum and villainy because of it. They just assumed that by default and didn't come here to find out - thankfully as I do come here I was able to point out that this place isn't actually like that at all (it's actually one of the best places to discuss 4E on the internet IMO). The automatic assumption though wasn't to go and read the thread in question - they honestly thought it was for real. Not to mention it gave us round 2 of anti-essentials hysteria.


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## AngryMojo (Sep 16, 2010)

Mike Mearls ruined the concept of ruining.  Nobody else can ever have the pleasure of ruining something, because of Mike Mearls.


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## FabioMilitoPagliara (Sep 16, 2010)

JoJa said:


> Mike Mearls ruined blogging!




and w/out dices or mices


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## ourchair (Sep 16, 2010)

mearls said:


> Here's a post to point out that I haven't posted in a while. Note that this post does not count as an actual post, per se, but is merely an observation regarding the lack of posts and should not be regarded as an actual post for purposes of determining my last post as such.
> 
> I hope that's clear.



Mike Mearls' post just ruined the ability to ruin Mike Mearls by posting about things that he has purported to have ruined, even though Mike Mearls hasn't really ruined them at all. Oh, the ruination.


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## Dedekind (Sep 16, 2010)

GM: You start to examine the entrance to the dungeon. You see an ancient script etched on the door.
PC: I wonder who wrote this? History Check?
GM: You succeed. Apparently Mike Mearls runed this dungeon.



<drum hit>


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## AntiStateQuixote (Sep 16, 2010)

Aegeri said:


> Everyone at another forum I go to immediately assumed that ENWorld was a hive of anti-4E plus Mike Mearls scum and villainy



Mike Mearls ruined scum and villainy.


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## drothgery (Sep 16, 2010)

Brent_Nall said:


> Mike Mearls ruined scum and villainy.




Get your games straight. Rodney Thompson ruined [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Scum-Villainy-Star-Wars-Roleplaying/dp/0786950358/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1284668566&sr=1-1"]Scum & Villainy[/ame].[1]

[1] Not really.


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## TarionzCousin (Sep 17, 2010)

Riley said:


> Mike Mearls ruined Comic Sans.



No, no: Comic Sans always sucked.


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## Nameless1 (Sep 17, 2010)

Somehow, this thread has sucked since Mike Mearls non-posted in it.





It is now ruined.


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## AngryMojo (Sep 17, 2010)

Mike Mearls has a +200 to Ruin checks.  And that's before his racial bonus.


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## Herschel (Sep 17, 2010)

Brent_Nall said:


> Mike Mearls ruined scum and villainy.




He turned Mos Eisley in to a disco?

Wow, he ruined Star Wars and music in one fell swoop.


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## Korgoth (Sep 17, 2010)

Herschel said:


> He turned Mos Eisley in to a disco?
> 
> Wow, he ruined Star Wars and music in one fell swoop.




No, that was Bea Arthur in the Holiday Special.

But I bet Mearls _enjoyed_ watching it get ruined.


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## mkill (Sep 17, 2010)

With this thread, Mike Mearls is now #2 google hit for "* ruined everything".

After steamboats. So here's a picture of steamboats.


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## nookiemonster (Sep 17, 2010)

The new Essentials Assassin beta rules are up on D&DI now, and of course, Mike Mearls ruined them too


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## AntiStateQuixote (Sep 17, 2010)

mkill said:


> With this thread, Mike Mearls is now #2 google hit for "* ruined everything".



He's number 1 now.  He's also number 7 for "ruined everything".

Mike Mearls ruined Google.


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## Herschel (Sep 17, 2010)

I finally watched the last Indiana Jones movie and there in the final credits was these little nuggets: 

Mike Mearls...Alien Story Developer
Daniel D. Gregoire...previsualization supervisor
Doug Harlocker...property master
Mark Hitchler...set designer
Jeff House...lead modeler
Mike Mearls...final script approval

Yes, Mike Mearls ruined George Lucas.


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## ourchair (Sep 17, 2010)

Herschel said:


> I finally watched the last Indiana Jones movie and there in the final credits was these little nuggets:
> 
> Mike Mearls...Alien Story Developer
> Daniel D. Gregoire...previsualization supervisor
> ...



George Lucas was already ruined before_ Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull._


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## Riley (Sep 17, 2010)

TarionzCousin said:


> No, no: Comic Sans always sucked.




Do you really think he waits for things to be created before he starts ruining them?

Mike Mearls' insidious influence was there, in 1994, ruining Comic Sans at the moment of its invention.


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## Zinovia (Sep 17, 2010)

*Ruin*

Once I surfed the ENWorld forums, waiting for our gamer quorum,
Reading many a quaint and curious post of whether gaming was for girls,
While I browsed, I chance discovered, rules updates had been uncovered,
O'er the link my mouse I hovered, hovered o'er a link to Mearls.
''Tis some errata,' I muttered, 'rulebooks changed by Mr. Mearls'
Clicked and watched as text unfurls.

Ah, distinctly I remembered it was in the late September,
As each separate glowing ember etched the screen in phosphor swirls,
I read the details of Essentials, wherein I could see potential,
For a wizard quintessential, with spells updated by Mike Mearls,
For a new and mighty wizard that was edited by Mearls,
Given us, like gleaming pearls.

Yet I knew it spelled the ruin of everything we had been doin',
Exchanging, changing, rearranging rules that governed all the world; 
Every player min and max each of their myriad attacks,
Add powers new that each one lacks, thanks to changes wrought by Mearls, 
Every player will want new attacks, thanks to ruin brought by Mearls,
Ruin causéd by Mike Mearls.
And that is all my boys and girls.

_It's a joke, just in case you didn't realize_


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## FabioMilitoPagliara (Sep 18, 2010)

the FULL text of the Mearls interiew on the Escapist

The Escapist : Complete Mike Mearls D&D 4th Edition Essentials Interview

it's 12 page of interview....

and it's very interesting...

and now they ruined ruining interviews....


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## Psikerlord# (Sep 18, 2010)

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Mike Mearls!

Oh sh*t. Mike Mearls ruined christmas.


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## megamania (Sep 18, 2010)

NOT everyone wants to be just like Mike





So why are we giving him grief anyway?


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## nookiemonster (Sep 18, 2010)

megamania said:


> NOT everyone wants to be just like Mike
> 
> 
> 
> ...





So now Mike Mearls has ruined giving people grief for no reason!


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## Old Gumphrey (Sep 18, 2010)

Since this thread was quoted in an article that whipped a couple forums into a tizzy, does that make me indirectly famous?


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## Bold or Stupid (Sep 18, 2010)

Old Gumphrey said:


> Since this thread was quoted in an article that whipped a couple forums into a tizzy, does that make me indirectly famous?




So we can add being famous to the list of things Mearls has ruined.

Being rich is next.


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## Nyronus (Sep 18, 2010)

FabioMilitoPagliara said:


> the FULL text of the Mearls interiew on the Escapist
> 
> The Escapist : Complete Mike Mearls D&D 4th Edition Essentials Interview
> 
> ...




Really? Because people make fun of idiots you conclude that the idiots must be in large numbers or have some sort of point?

Mike Mearls has ruined making fun of stupid people.


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## RHGreen (Sep 19, 2010)

You're all wrong, Mike Mearls improved everything.


I'm flaming, but it doesn't feel the same.




Damn it, Mearls ruined flaming.


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## AngryMojo (Sep 19, 2010)

Mike Mearls said:
			
		

> Hello gamers, look at your DM, now back to me.
> Now back to your DM, now back at me.
> Sadly, he isn't me.
> But if he stopped running old editions and switched to D&D fourth edition, he could ruin things like me.
> ...



Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doot!


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## DracoSuave (Sep 19, 2010)

Mearls ruined my ability to ruleslawyer.


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## ourchair (Oct 18, 2010)

Did Mearls ruin the ability to post in this thread? 

NO.

Therefore he fails.

At the ruining I mean.


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## Korgoth (Oct 18, 2010)

Mike Mearls ruined necromancy.


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## Elton Robb (Feb 22, 2011)

MY HAT OF d30 KNOW NO LIMIT!


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## Elton Robb (Feb 22, 2011)

Herschel said:


> WotC was creating a new, lush campaign world ala Pandora when Mike Mearls came to put on the finishing touches.
> 
> We got Dark Sun.




Actually, I blame Bill Slavisick for that.


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## Greg K (Feb 22, 2011)

Elton Robb said:


> Actually, I blame Bill Slavisick for that.




I, actually, blame Slavisick for the defiling of Darksun with the revised boxed set and some of the material prior.


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## Nai_Calus (Feb 23, 2011)

We need a pair of linked d30 tables for who is ruining what now.

Ruiner table:

1 Mike Mearls
2 Bill Slavicsek
3 The Virtual Table
4 Drizzt
5 Skill challenges
6 Powergamers
7 Miniatures
8 DDI
9 'Those evil bastards at WotC', whoever those guys are
10 Essentials
11 Fortune Cards
12 Races with no pupils
13 Eric Mona
14 The Online Character Builder
15 Dungeon
16 Dragon
17 Andy Collins
18 Rob Heinsoo
19 Ed Greenwood
20 Dark Sun
21 Eberron
22 The Forgotten Realms
23 4E Core Setting
24 Mike Mearls again, that bastard
25 Greg Bilsland
26 Edition Wars
27 Bruce Cordell
28 James Wyatt
29 Bloggers
30 Roll again twice, use both results and Mike Mearls

Ruinee:

1 D&D
2 The Forgotten Realms
3 Eberron
4 Spelljammer
5 Dark Sun
6 Planescape
7 Roleplaying
8 Combat
9 Mike Mearls
10 DDI
11 Pathfinder
12 The RPG industry
13 Dungeon
14 Dragon
15 The classic Character Builder
16 Essentials
17 Classic 4E
18 Everything
19 The homebrew scene
20 Verisimilitude 
21 Immersion
22 Game balance
23 Evil races
24 Past editions of D&D
25 Future editions of D&D
26 Every edition of D&D
27 Play by post games
28 Face to face games
29 Mike Mearls
30 Roll again twice, use both results and D&D

Some sample rolls: 

The 4E core setting is ruining every edition of D&D
Dark Sun is ruining Essentials
Races with no pupils are ruining DDI
Edition wars are ruining immersion
Drizzt is ruining the RPG Industry, the homebrew scene and D&D
DDI is ruining Mike Mearls


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## Ourph (Feb 24, 2011)

Elton Robb said:


> Actually, I blame Bill Slavisick for that.



Mike Mearls ruined Bill Slaviseck.


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## huank (Feb 24, 2011)

Scribble said:


> I tried to buy a d30 the other day... The store owner laughed and said: "Good Luck!"





Maybe you would like to check out these: 

ThinkGeek :: Weird Gaming Dice Set


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## Herschel (Feb 24, 2011)

Mike Mearls, as the man in charge,  has a sign on his desk that says "The Ruining Stops Here". 

Of course photographic evidence later found shows that very same sign on the desk of a retired DM who was the dice quartermaster at TSR's Lake Geneva facility in the early 80s during EW II* thereby showing Mike Mearls ruined iconic pop culture slogans of the power of ruination for all of history.

* Edition War 2, the second edition war to end all wars between the Axis of 1E vs. the Allied forces of 2E)


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## TarionzCousin (Feb 24, 2011)

Ourph said:


> Mike Mearls ruined Bill Slaviseck.



"Ruined" as in "Bill Slaviseck can no longer ride unicorns"?


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## the-golem (Feb 24, 2011)

I'd suggest that this thread be stickied, but Mike Mearls ruined "stickied" therads also.

Oh, and Greyhawk. *shiftyeyes*


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## El Mahdi (Feb 24, 2011)

TarionzCousin said:


> "Ruined" as in "Bill Slaviseck can no longer ride unicorns"?




Oh Dude, that's just Wrong!

In fact, it's sooooo Wrong that I had to quote it, just so people would read it twice and marvel at it's wrongness...


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## TarionzCousin (Feb 24, 2011)

El Mahdi said:


> Oh Dude, that's just Wrong!
> 
> In fact, it's sooooo Wrong that I had to quote it, just so people would read it twice and marvel at it's wrongness...



Yes, but is it Bad? I think it's Fun, so I'm at least two-thirds of the way there....


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## Ourph (Feb 25, 2011)

the-golem said:


> Mike Mearls ruined "stickied" *therads* also.



Mike Mearls ruined seplilng!


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## SSquirrel (Feb 25, 2011)

Obryn said:


> If there's an unloved die in 4e, it's the d4.  Unless you're a rogue, you probably don't use them.




I dunno.  I rolled a Swordmage for a Dark Sun game and have him using a Falchion just so I get to roll lots of d4s


----------



## the-golem (Feb 25, 2011)

Ourph said:


> Mike Mearls ruined seplilng!




It's not my fault! Mike Mearls ruined my keyboard. 

(PS: I can't believe I did that. But then, I type really fast, and those letters are both right next to each other on the keyboard and in that word, and ...

And Mike Mearls ruined my excuse.)


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## Nytmare (Feb 25, 2011)

huank said:


> maybe you would like to check out these:
> 
> thinkgeek :: Weird gaming dice set





forty dollars!?


----------



## Nemesis Destiny (Feb 25, 2011)

Nytmare said:


> forty dollars!?



That's thinkgeek for ya. It's cute, it's kitschy, and it's expensive.

...and now ruined by Mearls.


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## ShadoWWW (Jul 15, 2014)

This thread owes a big apology to Mike and bow:

Mike Mearls ruined everything, and then *built the best D&D ever.*

Thank you very much, Mike!


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## Agamon (Jul 15, 2014)

Mike Mearls ruined my lowered expectations.  Thanks Mike!


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## RHGreen (Jul 15, 2014)

Mike Mearls ruined my ability to think of something he has ruined. Thanks Obama... er I mean Mike Mearls.


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## Thaumaturge (Jul 15, 2014)

Well now he's ruined the ability to let threads be dead.

And my ability to be angry over thread necromancy.

Thanks,  [MENTION=697]mearls[/MENTION].

Thaumaturge.


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## the Jester (Jul 15, 2014)

Thaumaturge said:


> Well now he's ruined the ability to let threads be dead.
> 
> And my ability to be angry over thread necromancy.
> 
> ...




But apparently he fixed your broken capslock key!


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## Thaumaturge (Jul 15, 2014)

the Jester said:


> But apparently he fixed your broken capslock key!




WHICH I PREFER BROKEN!

THE JERK!

THAUMATURGE!

[edit:I had to hold down the shift key this whole post. Like an animal.]


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## Old Gumphrey (Jul 16, 2014)

Haha, this thread.


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