# Action Squad! (Updated 4/16)



## Pierce (Mar 21, 2004)

"John, I've got to take you off this case."

John McInnis stood in front of the captain's desk with his eyes full of righteous rage.  "Take me off this case?!  TAKE ME OFF THIS CASE?  I _made_ this case!"

Captain Osbourne leaned back in his chair.  _Here we go again._  It was the third time this month he'd had to dress McInnis down.  The third time this month this little scene had played out.  It was pretty much always the same.  There were parts, in fact, that Osbourne had memorized like lines in a play.  _I wanted to be an actor.  That's why I moved out here to L.A. in the first place.  There was that girl - Rachel - who got me a bit part in Ironside.  That's been - geez, has it been 20 years?  I'm too old for this sh**._  Osbourne focused back on McInnis.

"My grandfather worked with Eliot Ness!  My great-grandfather stepped off the boat from Ireland and started working for the NYPD!"

Ah, he was into the "history" phase of the tantrum.  That leads into the "why I work the way I do" part, followed by the "I can't teach these numbskulls around me how to be a cop" and finally the "you understand, Captain, you've been a cop for 20 years!" wrap-up.  Yep, 20 years.  I can retire with a full pension whenever I want now.  But there always seems to be one more case to resolve.  The Night Stalker trial was wrapping up and it looked pretty good.  Of course it gets replaced in the stack by the Menendez murders.  _Something's not right about that one.  Those brothers just have a weird look about them._

"I mean, Johnson just rides around in his car all day looking at prostitutes!  And *I'm* the one getting called on the carpet?"

_I see we're going with the "poor pity me" version of the "no one knows how to be a cop" bit._  It wasn't that McInnis was a bad cop - on the contrary, he was an excellent cop.  The problem was that he couldn't make a collar without serious property damage.  It seemed like the worse the crime, the higher dollar value of what got blown up.  Not to mention his "investigative tactics" he was so fond of.  B&E didn't apply to McInnis, apparently.  He hated to have to put another write-up in his folder - _hell, McInnis would probably be sitting in my chair if it weren't for the write-ups_ - but the mayor's office was breathing down his neck for some accountability.

"...you've been a cop for 20 years, Chief!"  _Ah, there's my cue._

"John, I know you're a good cop.  We all saw the 500 kilos of drugs you brought in yesterday.  We've got three dealers in custody and six more in the morgue.  And off the record, we're all damn proud of the job you're doing.  But g**dammit John, if you keep blowing up civilian's cars the city's not going to be able to afford insurance anymore!  You know what that means?  It means we get stuck *WALKING* everywhere!  You don't want to be busted down to beat cop?  You keep it up and we'll *ALL be beat cops g**dammit!* 

"Now you listen up and you listen good: the takedown yesterday was good, but it didn't get the guys who're bringing this stuff in.  There's opium all over the g**damn streets of this city and the press is really p*ssing off the mayor's office.  You know what the jokers down at the _Times_ have named this sh*t?  POO!  Stands for Purified Optimized Opium!  That's their headline: Streets filled with POO!  G**dammit, it makes a mockery of the force!  You've got 48 hours to get this case wrapped up or it's your ass, you hear me McInnis!

McInnis knew his part as well as the Captain.  He had started out of the office at the last sentence, opened the door so everyone in the squad room could hear "...or it's your ass" and slammed it shut behind him.  Every blue suit in the room was quietly working, but all attention was on McInnis.  He stood seething for the count of five, then turned and started for his desk.  Halfway to it, he heard the captain's door open again.

"Get back to work people!  I don't pay you to sit on your ass!  Shirley, bring me a coffee and danish."


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## caixa (Mar 22, 2004)

Is this...could it be....finally, after all this time?

Do I dare to hope?

Pierce is doing a Storyhour!!  It's like Christmas come early.


Peterson


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## carpedavid (Mar 22, 2004)

This looks like a ton of fun. The Medallions group has to be one of the most creative groups of RPGers I've ever seen. 

I'm looking forward to reading more. Is this an ongoing campaign, or is/was this a one-shot type?


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## Pierce (Mar 22, 2004)

caixa said:
			
		

> Is this...could it be....finally, after all this time?
> 
> Do I dare to hope?
> 
> ...




Man, one post in and I'm already getting a big head  

This is a one-shot, though it will probably grow into a semi-regular side game.  Ledded is out this week on vacation, so Drew Id cooked up this diversion.  In a nutshell, it's a riff on all the cheesy buddy-cop/action-cop movies of the 80s and 90s.  Everyone's character is a cliche and you probably won't see any kind of the freaky strangeness you've come to expect from the Medallions campaign.  From what I understand, we're going for the straight up shoot the bad guys - no FX, no magic.  Opening night is scheduled for Wednesday, so I'm going to try to post up the prolog/intro material by then.  Then we'll see how well I do at keeping up   

Oh, and John McInnis is my character.  He's going to be sooooo much fun


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## fenzer (Mar 23, 2004)

Pierce!  You scally-wag! 

It's about dern time.  I'm looking forward to this one.

You're up slugger, make us proud.


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## Pierce (Mar 24, 2004)

The man on the green Harley roared up in the visitors parking outside the LAPD headquarters.  He was definitely _not_ from California.  The dusty, well-worn camouflage jacket worn over rugged overalls and a henley that used to be white would have tipped off all the locals who weren't blind.  The hunter's orange ball cap he wore snug on his head would have done it for the blind ones.

"Hoo-ee!  Cho, I'm a right Saleau, for true!  Ain't dat right, Caimon?"  Anyone startled enough to actually stop and consider the man might have though he was talking to his bike.  Those a bit more observant would have seen the alligator head mounted on the front.  The ones with the sharpest eyes may have noticed that the custom paint job was patterned into reptilian scales and that the shadow of the rear leg camouflaged the Mossburg in a shotgun holster quite nicely.

He sniffed his armpits.  "Ech, Caimon, I gotta Pouponer 'fore I head in to my meetin' else I be all a' hont!  You stay ri' chere an watch my chose, bebette."

Pulling off his cap just long enough to run a comb through his graying, greased hair, the Cajun headed for the front entrance.  He checked his appearance one last time in the reflection of the plate glass door, grimaced, and entered.  The bustle inside was about what he was used to on a busy Saturday night back home in Louisiana.  Of course, it was 10AM on a Monday here in LA.  He sidestepped past a trio of hookers being hauled away by a uniformed officer and presented himself to the desk sergeant.

"Hunting licenses are in room 240.  Upstairs and to the left.  NEXT!"

"No, podna!  I ain't here for no license.  You see, I have an appointment with your Capitan - a Mr. Osbourne - for true."

"You have an appointment?  With Captain Osbourne?"

"Yessiree, saa-gent.  'Course, 'fore I go on I'd be most happy if you'd point out where the cahbin might be."

Nonplussed, the sergeant stammered, "Uh, I'm sorry - what?"

"Yawr leetle boys room?  Mais, I gotsa wash up 'fore I go to that meetin'.  I been on the road for a day and a half and hadn't got even near a hosepipe!  If'n I go in dere like this, yawr boss end up fremeers, for _true_!"

"Oh, uh - the restroom's right down that hall," the officer waved towards the right of the large entry room.  He hoped desperately that his shift would end before this bumpkin came back.  There was definitely enough dirt on the hick to keep him washing for a day at least.  _We don't normally get the crazy homeless guys this early.  Geez, he smells like - what the hell *is* that?_

"Merci beaucoup, mon ami.  I shall be on back presently.  You let Captain Osbourne know that Del Boudreaux is arrived!"


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## fenzer (Mar 24, 2004)

Love it Pierce!  More stinky cajun please!


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## Broccli_Head (Mar 24, 2004)

Looks like it'll be fun!


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## Pierce (Mar 30, 2004)

*Intro 3*

Captain Osbourne stood and stepped around the desk to greet the Cajun as the desk sergeant opened his office door.  "You must be Del Boudreaux.  I'm Jack Osbourne."  As Boudreaux gripped his hand, the captain noted how rough the man's hands were.  _His palms feel like scales._  "Come on in and have a seat and I'll fill you in.  Robertson, that'll be all," Osbourne pushed the uniformed cop back out into the bullpen and closed the door.  He perched up on the corner of his desk as Boudreaux sat heavily in a guest chair.

"I do so thank you mon Capitan.  I may have been sittin' for the past two days, but a Harley ain't no Lay-Zee-Boy, for true.  Most gracious of you."

"Don't mention it.  Mr. Boudreaux, this is Chu Don Phat," Osbourne motioned towards a small Asian man standing against the wall.  Boudreaux jumped a little; Osbourne realized that he hadn't seen the man standing there.  Understandable - one's eyes tended to slide off Phat.

"Velly pleased to meet you, Mr. Boodlo," Phat's accent was thick as he executed a slight bow towards Boudreaux.

"Bonjour, Monsieur Phat.  You done gave me da freesons, fuh shore!"

_Geez, can't understand either one of them.  Well, at least the Boudreaux guy is clean as far as my buddy down in New Orleans knows._  Osbourne looked from one to the other, gathering his thoughts.

"Alright, gentlemen.  You might be wondering why I've got both of you in here.  Mr. Phat here just arrived here in LA yesterday.  He's on loan from the Hong Kong PD temporarily to investigate a murder.  HKPD believes the suspect - a fella named Wan Yung Gi - is now in the LA area.  Mr. Boudreaux here,"  Osbourne turned to face Phat, "is a licensed bounty hunter from Louisiana.  He called our department last week to try and track down a guy named Tyrone Givins.  Givins broke out of the Louisiana State Penitentiary two weeks ago.  Mr. Boudreaux has some indications that Givins has connections here in the city."  Osbourne stood and made his way back behind his desk.  "Meanwhile, we've been experiencing a rash of drug activity.  There's a new drug showing up around - a highly processed opiate they call 'POO' on the streets.  We-"

"Poo?"  Boudreaux grinned dangerously.  "Ain't dat another word for merde?  De stuff that come out da end of a dawg?"

"Yep.  Don't kids these days say the darndest things?  It's short for Purified Optimized Opium.  And now you know about as much as any of us."

"Wha's dat got ta do wit me and Mr. Chinois here?"

"Glad you asked, son.  This Gi that Mr. Phat is looking for has connections to the Triad - China's answer to the Mafia.  We're working under the assumption that the Triad is at least getting a taste of the POO on the import side of things.  We speculate that Gi was brought over here either as extra local muscle of to get him out of Hong Kong."

Phat broke in, "If I may, Captain Osbourne?"  The captain waved him on.  "Yung Gi is known in Hong Kong as assassin.  I have been trying to catch him for many year.  He is man who kill my partner.  I must catch Yung Gi.  I will not leave without him, dead or alive.  You understand?"

"Hey hey, shure I do!  Mais, you don' worry none, podna.  We sho nuf be catchin' this peunez, for true.  As we say, lache pas la patate!  Mais, but that's the work I do, ya know?  So, mon capitan, what do dis here Young Guy fella an his kung-fu copain hafta do wit little ole me?"

_On second thought, maybe Phat is easier to understand._   Osbourne gamely forged ahead, "Givins has a sheet here, though it's short.  Mainly drug lab work and we could never tag him with anything big.  Got off with a little time, mostly probation.  We know that he moves in a lot of the same circles as the people we suspect are involved in making Poo."

Boudreaux couldn't hold it anymore.  He had been giggling every time Osbourne mentioned "Poo" but the last comment put him over the edge.  The cajun threw his head back and guffawed.  Even Phat was smirking.  Osbourne turned beet red.

"Now listen here, dammit!  You start doing that out on the street and somebody'll know you're a cop!  Or at least not one of them!  And these people will sure as sh*t turn your ass into gumbo or jambalaya or whatever it is you people cook down there!"  Osbourne rounded on Phat, "Or damn egg foo young!  So cut the horsesh-"

Osbroune stopped in mid-curse.  A bright light was streaming in through the half open blinds on his office door.  He bolted to the door and threw it wide.

"What the hell?  *WHO IN THE HELL LET A CAMERA CREW IN MY G*DDAMN PRECINCT!??!*"


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## fenzer (Mar 31, 2004)

Thanks for the update, Pierce.


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## Broccli_Head (Mar 31, 2004)

Yupper! Nice update. Love the way you guys write accents. It made me go and review the Bostonian lilt for my _Champions_ game!

Alright...Who plays who?


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## Pierce (Apr 5, 2004)

Broccli_Head said:
			
		

> Yupper! Nice update. Love the way you guys write accents. It made me go and review the Bostonian lilt for my _Champions_ game!



Thanks!  The accents are the hardest part for me.  Well, that and believable dialog.



			
				Broccli_Head said:
			
		

> Alright...Who plays who?




Me: John McInnis (Fast 8/Charismatic 1/Con Artist 6)
Old Drew Id:  Del Boudreaux (Dedicated 3/Bounty Hunter 10/Strong 1/Fast 1) + GM Duties
Eyas: Chu Don Phat (Fast 3/Strong 4/Martial Arts Master 8)

fludogg & ledded have not yet been introduced.  I'll hopefully get an update posted in the next day or two which will wrap up the intro and get into the action!  ledded was out for the first session and so you won't see him show for a few.

Thanks for reading!

And as a bonus, here's a pic of Capt. Osbourne:


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## ledded (Apr 5, 2004)

Pierce said:
			
		

> Thanks! The accents are the hardest part for me. Well, that and believable dialog.



Well, your cajun is incredible.  Very, very nice, and that's coming from someone with a few cajun friends that talk just like that when they are "swamp talkin' "




> Me: John McInnis (Fast 8/Charismatic 1/Con Artist 6)
> Old Drew Id: Del Boudreaux (Dedicated 3/Bounty Hunter 10/Strong 1/Fast 1) + GM Duties
> Eyas: Chu Don Phat (Fast 3/Strong 4/Martial Arts Master 8)
> 
> ...



Oh man, I just *loved* my character for this one, he's one of the most annoying and cheesy guys I've ever played.  I only got to play him for half of one session, but it was a ton of fun.

Keep up the great work P, maybe if both of us keep updating that will force OldDrewId to update too.   

(BTW, does he come by your office every 5 minutes going "so where's my update?", and if so, does it annoy you as much as it probably annoys him when you do it?   )


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## caixa (Apr 5, 2004)

*Whoa..*



			
				ledded said:
			
		

> (BTW, does he come by your office every 5 minutes going "so where's my update?", and if so, does it annoy you as much as it probably annoys him when you do it?   )




You guys work together too?  Oh man, what the water cooler discussions that would be!

Peterson


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## Angcuru (Apr 6, 2004)

More Medallions group goodness?!?   Yay!


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## nobodez (Apr 9, 2004)

*gosh darnit*

Great, another thread that I'm gonna get an e-mail reminder for it's updates! Yesh, it like you guys can't help but make great games! Why can't I find a decent gaming group?


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## ledded (Apr 15, 2004)

BUMPing in hopes of an update soon.


Heck, OldDrewId posted one.  Then I posted mine.

Tag, you're it.


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## Pierce (Apr 17, 2004)

"Yo, check it!  This is where it all goes down right here, knowhutimsayin?  All these are my men - see, there's Woodson - yo Woody!  How you doin' my brutha!  Boom-boom in da house! Yo, we're all here protectin' an' servin' yo!"

The camera followed a tall, handsome, well-dressed black man as he weaved through the maze of desks and cubicles in the large office bullpen.  Curious desk clerks prairie-dogged over the top of their grey boxes, squinting to see what the ruckus was about.  Captain Osbourne's office door slammed open, sending the blinds flailing.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON??!?  WHO LET THE PRESS BACK HERE?"  Osbourne stormed out of his office and made for the camera.

The black man turned and smoothly intercepted Osbourne.  Throwing an arm over the Captain's shoulders, he turned to the camera, "See this here's our leader - this is Captain Jack Osbourne, best damn cop-"

"GET THAT godd*mn CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE!!"  Osbourne grabbed the lens of the camera, swinging it towards the floor.  The cameraman nearly fell over trying to keep a grip on the expensive equipment.  "JOHNSON!!  You better have a godd*mnn good explanation for this sh*t!"

"Captain, captain!  Chill, yo!  This here ain't no _press_ camera - this here's a _TV show_, yo!  Check it: my cousin Frankie works for this guy who knows a guy who plays golf with a guy that dates this chick whose brother is some big-wig with that new FOX network.  You know, that new station that got that crazy-ass cartoon kid - 'Kowabunga, dude!' - right?  Yo, so anyways this dude's got this crazy-ass idea for a new show.  Alls they do is follow around cops while they do their job, yo!  And since my cousin Frankie's got a connection, they hooked up with me!  Samuel 'Boom-Boom' Johnson!    See, it's all good!"

"Johnson, I don't give a rat's ass who's camera this is - press is press.  If they don't go through the proper channels, they're not allowed back here godd*mnmit!  Hey!  Is this thing still on?  Turn this f**king thing off you son of a b*tch!"  Osbroune jerked the camera nearly off the cameraman's shoulder

"Hey, that's expensive equipment!  Watch out!"  The cameraman jerked back, freeing the camera from the captain's grip.  He stepped back out of Osbourne's reach and glared.  "We've got a contract with Mr. Johnson that states we can follow him anywhere as long as he's on duty and we don't endanger his life."

"Yeah?  What if _your_ life's in danger?"  Osbourne's smile was obviously not friendly.

"Uh, well, um...."

"That's what I thought.  Turn the godd*mn camera off!  NOW!!"

Boom-Boom stepped inbetween the two, "Now wait a minute, Cap.  This could be a real nice thing for the department, see what I'm sayin?  The TV guys say they want to show us cops doin' our job and arrestin' the bad guys and sh*t, see?  They want to show us in a good light, yo?  See, it's all about the image!  We show the LAPD bustin' up the drug dealers and yo, it's like Miami Vice, _West Coast style_!"  Boom-Boom flashed a huge grin at the captain, then back over his shoulder to the camera still filming.

Osbourne's face stayed beet red, but his smile finally started creeping into his eyes.  "You want to be on TV busting drug dealers, eh?  Well, follow me.  I've got _just_ the case for you.  C'mon - you're getting a new partner."  He turned and stalked towards A side office with McInnis painted on the glass, Boudreaux and Phat trailing bemusedly behind.

"Whoa, wait Cap!  I - uh - I've got this great line on the bikini shoplifters down on Venice Beach- Cap?  Wait - aw, sh*t."  Boom-Boom slumped after the Captain like a kid called to the principal's office, "Well, c'mon Mr. Cameraman.  You get to see _real_ police work.  Happy?"


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## caixa (Apr 17, 2004)

*Thinking here....*



			
				Pierce said:
			
		

> "Yo, check it!  This is where it all goes down right here, knowhutimsayin?  All these are my men - see, there's Woodson - yo Woody!  How you doin' my brutha!  Boom-boom in da house! Yo, we're all here protectin' an' servin' yo!"
> 
> The camera followed a tall, handsome, well-dressed black man as he weaved through the maze of desks and cubicles in the large office bullpen.  Curious desk clerks prairie-dogged over the top of their grey boxes, squinting to see what the ruckus was about.  Captain Osbourne's office door slammed open, sending the blinds flailing.
> 
> "Whoa, wait Cap!  I - uh - I've got this great line on the bikini shoplifters down on Venice Beach- Cap?  Wait - aw, sh*t."  Boom-Boom slumped after the Captain like a kid called to the principal's office, "Well, c'mon Mr. Cameraman.  You get to see _real_ police work.  Happy?"





This has _ got _ to be Ledded's character....


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## ledded (Apr 17, 2004)

caixa said:
			
		

> This has _got _to be Ledded's character....



Nope.  This was a one-off that they played when I was on vacation with the family.  Fludogg is solely responsible for Boom-boom and his oh-so Will Smith way of putting things.  I did get in on the action at the very end of this game, in a quite surprising manner.  My character is sooooo much more annoying and cheesy 80's stereotype than his; you can understand what he's saying, but you dont really *want* to... 

Nice update Pierce, you are doing exemplary work with the dialogue and accents.  Bravo, sir.


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## caixa (Apr 19, 2004)

*Ya'know, that just figures*



			
				ledded said:
			
		

> Nope.  This was a one-off that they played when I was on vacation with the family.  Fludogg is solely responsible for Boom-boom and his oh-so Will Smith way of putting things.  I did get in on the action at the very end of this game, in a quite surprising manner.  My character is sooooo much more annoying and cheesy 80's stereotype than his; you can understand what he's saying, but you dont really *want* to...
> 
> Nice update Pierce, you are doing exemplary work with the dialogue and accents.  Bravo, sir.





This just goes to show that you folks don't fall into "archetypes".  Forgive me for assuming that you were low enough on the gamer's totem pole to have resorted to such "common crutches".

Again, you've surprised me, and once again, I can't wait to see the intro to your character Ledded.

Oh, and the Will Smith-speak...Yo, I'm down wit dat.  Still gots my old "He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper" tape cassette.  Word.

Course, its sitting right next to my Vanilla Ice "bootleg" tape.  Word to your mutha, I'm a bad _shush your mouth!_ 

Peterson


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## Pierce (Apr 20, 2004)

caixa said:
			
		

> Word.




Damn!  That's what I was trying to remember.  Thanks, expect this in the next update.


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## ledded (Apr 22, 2004)

caixa said:
			
		

> This just goes to show that you folks don't fall into "archetypes". Forgive me for assuming that you were low enough on the gamer's totem pole to have resorted to such "common crutches".



Oh, many of us often take an archetype or stereotype to start with, but it usually doesnt take long before that player finds a roleplaying style that makes the character unique in their own right.  Of course, many characters we have come up with are completely unique and off-the-wall to begin with, particularly OldDrewId's PC's.



> Again, you've surprised me, and once again, I can't wait to see the intro to your character Ledded.
> 
> Oh, and the Will Smith-speak...Yo, I'm down wit dat. Still gots my old "He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper" tape cassette. Word.
> 
> ...



Ok, now you're scaring me dude.  

And Pierce... enough with the remembering and get on with the updating!


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## PallidPatience (Apr 24, 2004)

Seconded, mate.


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## rbingham2000 (Apr 24, 2004)

I am liking this story hour so far!

When I first read it, I thought this was a Feng Shui game -- John McInnis's tirade is delivered like a classic Maverick Cop. And Osbourne's comeback was just superb -- the insurance thing was a nice touch.

I had to smile at Del Bordreaux; he sounds like quite the character.

And the part that really got me laughing my head off?



			
				Pierce said:
			
		

> *Osbourne stopped in mid-curse. A bright light was streaming in through the half open blinds on his office door. He bolted to the door and threw it wide.
> 
> "What the hell? WHO IN THE HELL LET A CAMERA CREW IN MY G*DDAMN PRECINCT!??!"*


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## Angcuru (Apr 25, 2004)

*glee*


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## GreyShadow (Apr 25, 2004)

Any female officers starring in this show?


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## caixa (Jun 23, 2004)

Pierce?

We ain't done yet is we?

There has got to be more to this.....

Plus, I miss the "Will Smith Talking" Fludogg....especially right after I read a Medallions update!


Peterson


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## fenzer (Jun 23, 2004)

Pierce, where are you man?  I want more.


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## Pierce (Jun 23, 2004)

fenzer said:
			
		

> Pierce, where are you man?  I want more.




Sorry guys - I've been extraordinarily swamped.  That's not a very good excuse (I gotta make time to write!), but there ya go.  I'll take a stab at getting some updates together by this weekend.


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## ragboy (Aug 19, 2004)

Pierce said:
			
		

> Sorry guys - I've been extraordinarily swamped. That's not a very good excuse (I gotta make time to write!), but there ya go. I'll take a stab at getting some updates together by this weekend.



That weekend has passed. How about this weekend?


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