# Teflon Billy's post-ENnie Haiku Contest. WIN TONS OF D20 STUFF



## Teflon Billy (Oct 15, 2002)

Hey all

I'm not sure if you recall back when the ENnies were in full swing, but I said at the time that I would be having a Haiku contest in which the good folks at EN World could win all of the adventure modules that I had recieved for review in both 2001 and 2002.

Well my friends that time has arrived, and I have a _lot_ of modules to give away. Over 40 actually.

So if you are interested, read on.



> _From Dictionary.com (more or less)_
> 
> *Haiku*: A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables.




If you are interested in getting a bunch of current (and not-so-current) D20 modules, then all you need to do is write up a Haiku on one of the following subjects...


Half-Orc Bard
Lightning Bolt vs. Fireball
Chaotic Neutral
Fiendish, Dire (_some animal from the monster manual_)
Dice Etiquette
Hell, any D&D-related crap you can think of. I ain't picky

Just make sure it has something vaguley to do with D&D, EN World or Wahtever your little heart desires.

So everyone just enter (post) once (do so by posting to this thread). 

I will be accepting entries until Nov. 2, 2002. Judging will take place the week following that.

The judging will be done by Myself and my friends Mike (you don't know him), Theo (*Theovis* from the rules forum) and Stuart (New addition to EN World's ranks: *Fusangite*).

None of us are exactly poetry afficianado's, but we _can_ count to 17 (the required number of syllables) and do appreciate comedy, with and cleverness

There are no hard and fast judging criteria, so you'll just have to go with the opinions of my friends and I about whether you've won or not.

The winners pay their own postage to have the prizes sent to them.

The prizes are as follows...

First place gets...


Rappan Athuk: Upper levels-_Necromancer Games_
Rappan Athuk: Middle levels-_Necromancer Games_
Rappan Athuk: Lower levels-_Necromancer Games_
A Lion in the Ropes-_Troll Lord Games_
The Silver Summoning-_Fiery Dragon Games_
The Last Dance-_Atlas Games_
To Stand on Hollowed Ground-_Fiery Dragon Enterprises_
Maiden Voyage-_Atlas Games_
What Evil Lurks-_Necromancer Games_
The Ruins of Rackfall-_Monkeygod Enterprises_
Of Sound Mind-_Fiery Dragon Games_
Brotherhood of Prophecy-_Scarab Games_
The Pit of Locj-Durnan-_Mystic Eye Games_
The Bloody Sands of Sicaris-_Paradigm Concepts_
The Sword of Justice-_Monkeygod Enterprises_
Queen of Lies-_Fiery Dragon Games_
Crucible of Freya-_Necromancer Games_
Maze of Zayene-_Necromancer Games_
Demons and Devils-[/i]Necromancer Games[/i]

Second Place gets...


Tomb of Abysthor-_Necromancer Games_
Hall of the Rainbow Mage-_Necromancer Games_
The Witchfire Trilogy 3: Legion of lost Souls-_Privateer Press_
Nemoren's Vault-_Fiery Dragon Games_
If Thoughts Could Kill-_Malhavoc Press_
Into the Darkness-_Otherworld Creations_
The Ascension of Magdalene-_Atlas Games_
All The Kings Men-_Monkeygod Enterprises_
Tsar Rising-_Monkeygod Enterprises_
Song of Storms-_Monkeygod Enterprises_
The Scourge of Raftport-_Monkeygod Enterprises_

And Third Place gets...


Death in Freeport-_Green Ronin Publishing_
Madness in Freeport-_Green Ronin Publishing_
Burning Shaolin-_Atlas Games_
Beyond the Veil-_Atlas Games_
Dzeebagd-_Troll Lord Games_
Interludes: Brief Expeditions to Bluffside-_Thunderhead Games_
Galal's Grave-_Fiend Games_
Siren's Prize_Kenzer & Company_
Deathright-_Kenzer and Company_
The Last Initiate-_Monkeygod Enterprises_
Race to the Yellow Lotus-_Monkeygod Enterprises_
The Malady of Kings-_Troll Lord Games_

*EDIT: Fourth Place gets...

A brand-spanking new copy of D20 Rokugan

Keep in mind that I made these "Prize Packages" by grabbing my pile of modules, and dividing them (near randomly) into "Big", "Medium" and "Small" piles...their placement in the various categories should not be read as a comment on their respective quality. 

So that's basically it. I think Morrus is making this thread sticky, so feel free to peruse the competition, fiddle with your entry (up until the deadline anyway) and just generally have fun.

Get this stuff out of my house*


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## Mouseferatu (Oct 15, 2002)

Billy, I couldn't tell by your wording if we were limited to one Haiku per person or not.  If so, please just count the first one below and ignore the others.  If not, here's one of each.  

------------------------------

Half-orcs are singing.
Dear gods, why did you get rid
Of class restrictions?

Roaring flame drowns out
My friend's screams. I really should
Have cast lightning bolt.

It's hard to take a
Dire weasel seriously
'til it bites your butt.

Touch my dice again
And I'll break both your arms, you
Feces-breathed lemur!

Chaos for its own
Sake is the mark of a poor
Gamer.  Please stop that.

Oh good gods help us,
It's a great wyrm red dragon!
Run, run, run, run, run!!


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## Teflon Billy (Oct 15, 2002)

Yeah, I should've been clearer. I meant just one Haiku. You want the bard one to be your entry?


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## Mouseferatu (Oct 15, 2002)

I don't guess I could just say "Pick the one you like best to be my entry?"  

Yeah, go with the bard one.


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## Dr Midnight (Oct 15, 2002)

I will submit this one:

*Twenty sided die
I have shined you and loved you
Be good to me now.*

I wrote it a few years back, along with these others (posted just for yer amoosment):

Mountain Dew midnight
Grab my d20 and roll
I'll be up all night.

Doritos, my friend,
You have sustained me for hours
Spicy barbecue.

Roll to hit that troll!
I hit! Roll damage! Okay...
Eight! YOU KILL IT! DUDE!

Grab your PHB
It will be a rough night, but
Together we win.


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## Teflon Billy (Oct 15, 2002)

Dr Midnight said:
			
		

> I wrote it a few years back, along with these others (posted just for yer amoosment):




I'm amoosed


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## tsadkiel (Oct 15, 2002)

Fiendish Dire Badger?
No, your gnome can *not* have one
as his familiar!


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## Maerdwyn (Oct 15, 2002)

Entry:  Fireball vs. Lightning Bolt

Three orcs' ashes lie 
In a line beside my own.
Our mage chose poorly.




These are all extras:

RttToEE:
Cut down by a frog,
They mock me until - "Dragon!"
Ah, schadenfreude!

Alignment:
You charge the demon?
Damnit! "Lawful Good" doesn't
mean "Lawful Stupid"! 

1/2 Orc Bard:
All my gold to he
Who smashes Kraag's lute and leads
Him down a new path.

General:
We want to go North 
But the railroad takes us East -
His campaign, I guess .

ENWorld:
Tired of whining
About Dragon's vile content?
Let's start a beer thread!


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## Capellan (Oct 15, 2002)

*Dice Etiquette*

Friends should always share?
A sentiment most noble.
Polyhedrons?  MINE.


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## jgbrowning (Oct 15, 2002)

*poem*

There is but one thing
we should try to remember
Hastur, Hastur, Has.....


I'm not sure if this qualifies anymore, since the old 1st Ed. Dieties and Demigods is a bit old now, but its my entry and im sticken to it!  

luck all!

joe b.


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## Xarlen (Oct 15, 2002)

Twenty by Twenty
This square room filled with orcs
I beg for lightning

I can't decide between that one or:

Grapple with evil
Succubus look good but
Not wise for levels

For fun!

I rolled a damn one
Now, poison ravish me dead.
Ressurect me, man.

Travel underground
Finding chests filled with riches
Why do gnolls wear rags?

Tentacles grasp me
Mind stopped before eaten
Damn octopus head

It is a strong troll
Fireball does not work on it
DM is cruel

Careful Plotting Lost
Stupid Players Must read book
What's this? Beholder.


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## The Fool (Oct 15, 2002)

*...*

Here is my entry 

***
Raise my Hand Slowly
To the Heavens Must I Pray
Fire My Salvation

***
Phew that was hard 


The Fool


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## brianajones (Oct 15, 2002)

*Alignment Haiku*

Funny, I did 3e haiku for all the alignments a while ago.  Here they are:

Lawful Good:

Protect innocents,
Must not succumb to evil.
Law shall reign supreme!

Lawful Neutral:

Law is Eternal
We cannot live without them.
Why would we want to?

Lawful Evil:

Laws for exploiting
I twist their purpose for me.
Death to Jaywalkers!

Neutral Good:

Good is the best road.
Laws are only for the weak.
Are they best for all?

Neutral:

I will not choose sides
Your fighting is beyond me.
I think you're all wrong.

Neutral Evil:

I do what I wish
Noone controls my actions.
Death to those who try.

Chaotic Good:

Fight for the people!
The law is not important.
Evil cannot win!

Chaotic Neutral:

Whatever you guys think,
Wait, I've changed my mind, you guys,
I think I made something mad!!

Chaotic Evil:

KILL THEM!! KILL THEM ALL!!
Everything belongs to me!!
Complain? Slay you, too!!


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## brianajones (Oct 15, 2002)

It gets worse!  I did classes too.  Furthermore, I did them at work, so technically, someone paid me to write these!!

Me Barbarian!
I go into a rage now
Magic is evil.

I am called the Bard
You found magic? I will tell
I will sing its song

I am a cleric
My way is the way of God
I will heal your wounds

I am the Druid.
The secrets of the forest
Are now mine alone.

I am a fighter
I smash things for a living
Don’t get in my way

They call me a monk
Yet I do not serve the gods
I kick major ass!

Paladin, I am.
Serve the greater good, I do
Evil should run now!

I am a Ranger
Want to sneak through the woodlands?
I’m the one to seek.

Rogue, sometimes called thief,
I pick the pockets of lords
Ladies swoon near me

I am Sorceror
Magic is alive in me
I shall destroy all!

I am a wizard
Zap! Whiz! Bang! Magic Missile!
Summon a Demon!


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## boothbey (Oct 15, 2002)

*My entry...*

Here is my entry...

<b>Daggers in the back
Their coins within my pockets
Place your trust in me.</b>


And just as a bonus...

Fighting in cramped halls.
No fireball, so lightning flew.
Oops, I was in back.


I, the assassin.
Silent, hidden, and deadly.
Yours, for modest fee


Nobody killed him.
Nobody could have done it.
Nobody is me.


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## Trainz (Oct 15, 2002)

*Haiku*

Munchkin I dub thee
For a d30 your attack rolls
You have used all night


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## Luthyr (Oct 15, 2002)

*Half-Orc Bard Haiku*

My Perform skill sucks
Damn Charisma penalty
Where'd I put my axe?


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## Pramas (Oct 15, 2002)

Wuxia madness
My kung fu is still the best
Dragon Fist rises


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## Khan the Warlord (Oct 15, 2002)

Pramas said:
			
		

> *Wuxia madness
> My kung fu is still the best
> Dragon Fist rises *




Not to hijack this thread, but is the above a hint that DF may see a rebirth with GR?

Or am I just looking/hoping too much into nothing?


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## Geist (Oct 15, 2002)

Heres mine for now though it might be a little over some peoples heads..  but we will see...


Current Offical entry box:
----------------------------
One site rules them all.
One site that consumes us all.
EN World binds us.
----------------------------

I lover her fireballs,
and she loves my Lightning Bolt.
To bad shes married.

-Geist


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## Ruavel (Oct 15, 2002)

_An Ode to the Most Useless Creature in the MM_

*Terror of the deep,
But summoned jaws are useless
on land, oh dire shark…*

a poem for those DMs like myself who have little to no use for aquatic creatures...


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## Larry Fitz (Oct 15, 2002)

Hey Billy,

Here's one on a topic near and dear to many of us:

Smoke clears like fog lifts
Scales glow hot and triumphant
Not disposable


Larry Fitz
Member of Badd


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## clark411 (Oct 15, 2002)

*Here we go..*

Lazily Kork smile
in fountain, pink swirls 'round pants.
Guards.  Damn elf magic.


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## wighair (Oct 15, 2002)

My entry....

Rude rhyme of Summer
Yields lament of pedigree
For the foul mouthed bard

Mel.


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## nsruf (Oct 15, 2002)

My entry in the category "all things D&D":

*Orc and Pie*

smothered by cream
my reward I claim early
guardian threw it


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## LcKedovan (Oct 15, 2002)

What the heck, I'll give it a try.

*The newbie rolls dice
Crack, he falls over in pain
Touch my dice and pay* 

-Will


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## Tsyr (Oct 15, 2002)

The sounds of rapture
A sea of tears shed in joy
The Half-Orc bard dies


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## Jeff Wilder (Oct 15, 2002)

*Haiku entry: Half-orc Bard*

Here's my official entry:

"'Six Songs of Set's Sons,'"
Muses the mixed-breed minstrel,
"Is tough through these tusks."

And here's a bonus entry, at no additional charge:

Yon tusked minstrel
Receives but spoilt tomatoes
In lieu of applause.

(Note: That's "tusk-ed.")


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## darkke (Oct 15, 2002)

Well, here goes:

My square is threatened
Ogres bearing reach weapons
Where is my spiked chain?


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## Dougal DeKree (Oct 15, 2002)

*On the topic so often mentioned...*

here's mine poem of the dead hero:

"I came in here to
stop elemental evil
but all just went wrong."

and else (since some else alrady took the orc&pie)

"half-orc bard sings loud
lyrics about the holy pie
in his small square room"


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## rounser (Oct 15, 2002)

This is ridiculous.  Everyone knows half orc bards write _sonnets_.

On the topic of haiku, if I understand the rules of amateur haiku correctly, you get bonus points if your haiku in some way mentions the seasons or cherry blossoms.

Interestingly, the most famous sonnet there is effectively mentions both the seasons _and_ buds:

1     Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
2     Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
3     Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
4     And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
5     Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
6     And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
7     And every fair from fair sometime declines,
8     By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
9     But thy eternal summer shall not fade
10   Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
11   Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
12   When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
13   So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
14   So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. 

I doubt this is a coincidence; there may well be something rather quintessentially poetic about the seasons and budding plant life.

Something to keep in mind when composing for your next half orc bard, methinks.

"Shall I compare thee to a winter's night?"


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## Darklone (Oct 15, 2002)

My chaotic neutral haiku:

Never mind the others
Everything comes and goes
But the DMs hate


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## Finsteel (Oct 15, 2002)

*Half-Orc Haiku*

Well here's my modest candidate...

Lone bard performing,
grunting, growling, composing,
rhymes partly orcin.

-Finsteel-


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## Maraxle (Oct 15, 2002)

Do not touch my dice
Or I will break your arm off
At the elbow, geek.


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## Sir Osis of Liver (Oct 15, 2002)

I can't help myself:


Eww, i hate them toads
Cast fireball 'cause they're gross
Woof! my familiar goes


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## Scarogoth (Oct 15, 2002)

*My humble offering*

Autumn leaves fallen --
a darker red than usual.
Sounds of war now fled.


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## DrydenT (Oct 15, 2002)

Original:
Dire wolf moves like wind
Bounding through the snow towards me
To rip my face off


Rethought:
Dire wolves like mist
Snaking through the dark forest
To rip my face off


Thank you, *bows*

Dryden


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## Robbert Raets (Oct 15, 2002)

Claws Tearing Me Up,
Fangs Chewing My Aching Legs,
Why Me, Fiendish Boar?

----

Hey, Nonny, Nonny
Half-Orc Bard, What's Up With You?
Kill Us With your Smile

----

Elemental Kid,
Pappa Was A Rolling Stone,
Mom Goddess Of Earth


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Oct 15, 2002)

Off-key grunting song
Sad and hungry half-orc bard
Singing for his pie.


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## Henry (Oct 15, 2002)

ZING! Flies the pellet
Blossoms to hellish beauty
God, 5th level rocks!


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## Joshua Randall (Oct 15, 2002)

*AoO*

Opportunity,
Attacks of. Does anyone
Fully understand?


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## FullTinCan (Oct 15, 2002)

Fiendish Dire Weasel:

Hellish hen hunter,
Pointy fangs oozing evil,
Beware the weasel!


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## bailey (Oct 15, 2002)

Five orcs braced to fight
ball of flame fires between them 
now there is just ash


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## NiTessine (Oct 15, 2002)

Don't touch his dice, man
Bob will gouge out your two eyes
Always night for you.


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## King_Stannis (Oct 15, 2002)

Weary I grow of
The polymorphed innkeepers,
So cheesy, it is



Thanks for the opportunity, T-B!


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## Flynn (Oct 15, 2002)

*My entry*

*Fiendish dire bovine,
Holy cow will not survive
The big beef battle.* 

Enjoy,
Flynn


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## NeuroZombie (Oct 15, 2002)

D twenty system
Fanboys, there are too many
Who think they can write

This one is just a joke BTW, no harm is meant, it's just what came to me


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## JRRNeiklot (Oct 15, 2002)

*Haiku*

The orc has slain me,
But I die happy, laughing.
I ate the pie, first!


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## WayneLigon (Oct 15, 2002)

*D&D* 

Housebound in winter,
We go on a year's-long quest
Rolling dice with friends.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 15, 2002)

Chaotic Neutral!
This alignment is so sweet--
Like twin scimitars!


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## Crothian (Oct 15, 2002)

Dragon Fire Breath
Burnt Flesh on Charcoaled Bodies
Total Party Kill


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## jester47 (Oct 15, 2002)

This is my PC
There are many like it but
This PC is mine

Aaron.


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## Kender42 (Oct 15, 2002)

This contest makes me
Want to sing a half-orc song
Aaaaaaar-oooooooooo-gaaaaa-naaaa-sh!


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## herald (Oct 15, 2002)

Sing me a love song,
Winsome, Lonely Half-Orc Bard,
You make my ears bleed

...It's a talent, we all have it, it's just that I'm a little more full of it than you.


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## Magic Rub (Oct 15, 2002)

Here is my entry, it wrote itself. It has a nasty habbit of reoccuring in every session we play, finally it comes to good use! 

PC: _"Why can't I do that?!_
DM: _"Because the P.H. says so!"_
PC: _"Gawd dam you suck a$$!"_


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## Eridanis (Oct 15, 2002)

The day's work is done
Time for happy diversion:
"Roll initiative"

***************************
My favorites so far are jgbrowning, Larry Fitz, and LcKedovan. Thanks for the contest, TB, you handsome man!


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## GralTok (Oct 15, 2002)

Keep the first one as my entry, and enjoy the others.

Chaotic neutral sorceror choosing a target for his spell:

Hey you, no not you!
Yeah you! hey move no stop 
Gonna burn you now!

A wizard of ice:

Lightning or fire?
That's the question! But not now!
As here come Ice Burst!

A hunter meeting a dire bear:

See the bear I just
hunted, See the big one Coming
Arrow do nothing!

A Half-Orc Bard near the trashes:

I sing next to the
trashes, I smell as good as them
Hear the Half-Orc Bard

The innocent player rolling to hit:

You hit with a d20
not with four! Oh it's not keep
the best of four dice?

Playing dnd with a Chaotic Neutral DM:

What we do tonight?
We play dnd! Which game? Well a
new one, what you thing?


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## Balsamic Dragon (Oct 15, 2002)

From my current campaign 

Only the bravest
face Elemental Evil.
Total Party Kill?

Balsamic Dragon


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## Feliath (Oct 15, 2002)

*Yar! I compete!*

*deep breath* OK, here goes. My contribution. Half-Orc Bard? Half-Orc Bard.

A half-orcish bard?
Like sweet spring birds twittering
atop a dung heap.


Oh, two more, _just_ for kicks:

A Haiku contest?
Billy gives out adventures!!!
I _must_ try to win...

Which is funnier:
Fireball or Lightning Bolt?
Damn, all out of space.


/Feliath


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## tarchon (Oct 15, 2002)

Old pond, quiet, still.
Water sprays, fish fly flopping;
Fiendish dire frog jumps.


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## Simplicity (Oct 15, 2002)

Here's my entry:

Unhand me, Vecna!
Ere my vorpal sword makes you
Less contiguous.


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## jester47 (Oct 15, 2002)

_ARRRRG! Silly internet!_


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## tarchon (Oct 15, 2002)

*Re: My entry*



			
				Flynn said:
			
		

> *Fiendish dire bovine,
> Holy cow will not survive
> The big beef battle.
> *




Maybe:
Crazy warlock casts.
Fiendish dire bovine appears.
"Unholy cow!"  I shout.
?


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## Drew (Oct 15, 2002)

Templates

What hath 3E wrought?
Eric N's Half-Fiend love child
and Vampire troll monks!


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## River (Oct 15, 2002)

My Entry:

Caught the blast again.
Friendly fireballs ... aren't
Damn chaotic mage!


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## Doc Ezra (Oct 15, 2002)

*Entry*

Funny dice clatter,
Thrown by one whose hero died,
Against the far wall.

-Doc


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## Brisk-sg (Oct 15, 2002)

My Haiku -

Twenty faces resolve
Heroic action's triumph
Fate's fickle presence


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## SemperJase (Oct 15, 2002)

*
A critical hit? 
What is needed to confirm?  
Roll the d20!
*


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## der_kluge (Oct 15, 2002)

*My entry*

A damn handsome man
really generous to boot
see: Teflon Billy


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## Cake Mage (Oct 15, 2002)

*The Dwarven Bard*

my axe so shiny
sound of battle, taste of blood
the edge red; orcs dead


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## Crowe9107 (Oct 16, 2002)

*My submission*

Torch and ten-foot pole,
From within the darkness, gold.
The Tavern awaits me.


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## Dark Psion (Oct 16, 2002)

I'll give this a try;

------------------------------
My party is gone
Traps found, Undead turned, Gold claimed
Did not see Dire Squirrel
-------------------------------

And for brianajones

I am the Psion
Others laugh, ignore my power
My thralls they are now


Psychic Warrior
Speed, Precision, Psychic power
Crystal sword in hand


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## ColonelHardisson (Oct 16, 2002)

*Not a real entry, of course*

Alas, Teflon Billy
You have much cool swag to give
A judge also was I

EDIT: Ahh, so I can't count syllables...screw it


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## MerricB (Oct 16, 2002)

*The Half-Orc Bard*

He who chants loudly
Scaring away fiendish foes
Cares not for music.

Cheers!


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## orbitalfreak (Oct 16, 2002)

On the subject of our favorite pasttime...

Dungeons and Dragons
Good triumphs over Evil
A game we all love.


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## KDLadage (Oct 16, 2002)

I will not give in
to your ploy, Teflon Billy
even with prizes

but should I chance it
and write a line or two (three?)
the topic is plain

not the half-orc bard
as this is beneath the art
of a true Haiku

Dungeons and Dragons
has more self respect than that
and so I will pass

but the topic of
Opportunity Attacks
is one ripe for me

I will cover this
and so, not to delay it
I will start below:

*Opportunity:
without combat reflexes,
knocks but once per turn*


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## Radiating Gnome (Oct 16, 2002)

Given this:



> On the topic of haiku, if I understand the rules of amateur haiku correctly, you get bonus points if your haiku in some way mentions the seasons or cherry blossoms




I'll try a bit about a Half-Orc and his Lute . . .

Frets drip blood on snow
Critic said Half-orc bards suck.
Now My lute's in tune.

Does mentioning snow count as the seasons?


-rg


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## Magic Rub (Oct 16, 2002)

Hee hee...

This is a great troll
I bet there are no prizes
Billy got us good


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## Drakmar (Oct 16, 2002)

Ode to the Beast 

Depressed Half-Orc Bard,
The sadest being alive.
Nothing rhymes with 'Ugh'


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## Pale (Oct 16, 2002)

Half-Gold Dragon Gnome
Fighter/Thief/Barbarian.
A Munchkin Munchkin?


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 16, 2002)

KDLadage said:
			
		

> *Opportunity:
> without combat reflexes,
> knocks but once per turn*




Now this is a FANATSTIC haiku.

It has wit, it places the 'twist' at the end... both essential for good haiku.

If I were judging, this would win. (So far anyway...)

Although I should dock him points for d20 compatibility.


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## Teflon Billy (Oct 16, 2002)

*Huzzah!*

Hey Folks, Teflon Billy here gain (in case you have stopped reading the names at the side of the thread.

It would seem that we now have another prize added to the pot.

A brand spanking new copy of *D20 Rokugan*, from the good folks at *AEG* (which, if you ask me, seems kind of appropriate for a Haiku contest).

So this will be fourth place I guess.  I will change the introductory post to reflect this

Carry on

--Teflon Billy--


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## twitch (Oct 16, 2002)

*Haiku Mania*

Well, my wife being Japanese lets see if I can pull this off.

my tiny ofuda fade

hidden danger makes me weep

now roll monkey boy


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## darth (Oct 16, 2002)

*The dragon falls, dead.*
*The earth shakes with the impact.*
*Victory is ours.*


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## Torx (Oct 16, 2002)

Chaotic Neutral

Communal bonds nay.
Tied to earth am not.
Swim fly burrow free.


----------



## shoplifter (Oct 16, 2002)

I am the DM.
PCs are nice to me cause
Orcus is my friend.


----------



## Moleculo (Oct 16, 2002)

Down with Half Orc Bards/
Up with mini-skirts, because/
they are so sexy.

jake (jdangel@uiuc.edu)


----------



## Agnostic Paladin (Oct 16, 2002)

Bold is my entry

Chaotic Neutral?
Am I not supposed to fear
mine enemies most?

*You may borrow gold
All equipment can be used
But my dice are mine*

Loud fast and angry
Music and musician both
Applaud loud or die

Fire ball, Lightning Bolt?
How to kill them and not us?
Let god sort it out!

Players do not fear
A Fiendish Dire Great Big Bear
Makes them stop and stare

Why the ritual?
You're going to get a 2
Just hurry up and roll!


----------



## Drakmar (Oct 16, 2002)

Ok.. I farmed the ability to make a Haiku out to a mate of mine who plays d&d.. and loves making haiku's... but doesn't go on this interweb thingy.. now he just won't stop sending them to me.. so I will share.

I have entered Ode to the Beast for him.

Here's a few.

The Unlucky Roll

Fall off the Table?
It's no longer in the World!
You must roll again!

Ode to the Beast

Depressed Half-Orc Bard,
The sadest being alive.
Nothing rhymes with 'Ugh'

Third Ed Blues

With Multi-Class Ease,
I am a Wizard Ranger!
What do you mean, 'No'?

the Knight's Skills Gaffe

My trusty weapon!
Upon my Valiant Steed!
No Mounted attack!

Polygon's Lament

I collect much dust.
I am a twelve sided die.
Never was I used.

Scary Player

Yes! A critical
hit against my opponent!
Eat Vorpal Death, Bud!

A New Character

My Vorpal Bunny
wreaks bloody vengence against
my foe's NPC.

Gulstaff

Sorcerer of Light
I will use Magic Missile
Against the Darkness!

Cry of the Newbie

Wizards of the Coast
should fully sue Tolkein's ass
for ripping them off!

It Needed One!

It's the Zen call of
Oriental Adventures.
Cop Raging Haiku!


----------



## Terwox (Oct 16, 2002)

*a tribute to the house rules forum*

harm, fortitude save?
polymorph, what can one do?
rangers, oh, alas...


----------



## adamca (Oct 16, 2002)

*my haiku*

here's my entry:
-----------------------
it's the oldest joke
"i attack the gazebo"
but we all still laugh
-----------------------

and a couple of others:

"that's not what it says
right here in the DMG"
damn I hate rule zero

you open the door
to see a huge red dragon
where are the cheetoh's?


----------



## Bellwethr (Oct 16, 2002)

*entry*

Here's my submission... hope you like it!


If we're allowed titles, the title is:
"An Uruk-haiku"

Twisted metal horn.
Early morning bugle call.
Friends smash horn to bits.


----------



## Kubla_Khan (Oct 16, 2002)

Ok, entry time, with a comic twist:

Jesus wept, a trap,
But saints preserve! Jesus saves,
and takes half damage


Or in the more traditional flavor:

Flame, dancing fire,
fills hall, cherry-blossom red,
but lightning, does bounce



Kubla Khan


----------



## cimbrog (Oct 16, 2002)

This haiku you read
is open gaming content.
Please use it wisely.


----------



## Sesostris (Oct 16, 2002)

The lightning bolt zapped
both mage and foe. Remember:
Don't cast in water.


----------



## dpdx (Oct 16, 2002)

stage, completely bare
sharing music takes courage
sound my notes in blood


----------



## epochrpg (Oct 16, 2002)

I could not decide on entering the first or second one, they were both my favorites.  I included the others for fun

----Dice Ettiquette----
Twenty-Eight?  Cheater!
Last time you called blue as high!
Should be eighty-two!

A Fiendish Dire Horse?
I suppose I could ride it
Ouch! Perhaps I can’t

Half Orc bard I see
Charisma could be higher
Made up by brute strength 

Fireball So Handy
Except in Close Combat- Whoops!
Should Have Used Lightning 

---Chaotic Neutral---
Madman? I think not
Criminal, Outlaw, Thief? Yes!
Likes breaking the law

The Dungeon Master
You Befriend him for treasure
Hate him when you die!


----------



## Gumby (Oct 16, 2002)

*Rangers front-loaded?  Do tell.*

Into the forest
One more year of this then I
will backstab ogres


----------



## Inez Hull (Oct 16, 2002)

Wulf I'm still laughing at your Haiku - truly inspired (although it really should have been 'this alignment is so kewl')

Anyway my offering goes something like:

Delay my attack
Let cleavable foes surround
Hope I don't fumble.


----------



## Bryan Vining (Oct 16, 2002)

Dice, my precious dice
My lucky d20 shines
Touch it and you die.

I touched the button
And my evil DM smiled
Oh the agony

My party now wanders
Our mapper smoulders like dry leaves
Where, oh where, are we?


----------



## Kirowan (Oct 16, 2002)

This is dedicated to my speckled strawberry D20 from Chessex Manufacturing.

Nestled in my sack
I fondle you, don't fumble
Roll into my heart.

-Nick


----------



## ruemere (Oct 16, 2002)

*Haiku*

Dedicated to the memory of all those unwashed crowds at cons:


Neither fiend's ire,
Nor momma's words most dire...
This bard smells vile!


Regards,
Ruemere


----------



## Sammael99 (Oct 16, 2002)

Don't think I'll win anything with this, but hey, it's a laugh :

Stick in the "currents event" section :

*Crimson blood splashing
On the delicate leaves of spring,
Why is this not vile ?*


----------



## waterfacet (Oct 16, 2002)

*More Haikus*

A comment on the number of entries:

Who can read them all?
Players write haikus to death
and I am one too.

My entry:

*Bard is a hard work
Need to be strong like half-orc
to carry make-up
* 

Another one that is twisting back and forth (probably my best but still not my entry!): 
Lightning of fire
is like the hen and the egg 
both good when cooking

And for your pleasure:
*DM:*Alea iacta est
*Yoda:*Hmm, no good my result was 
*Yoda:*so once more I roll 

Fun for Darian Damas, and me:
The land was empty
so DM made up a town
of dire badgers
(no it didn't happen!!! For any god's sake!)

I am at my work
people pay for my time here
not to write haikus


----------



## dreadnought (Oct 16, 2002)

*Haiku you too*

A great sadness falls;
Dodecahedron at "one"
Hacked off own foot.


----------



## Paragon Badger (Oct 16, 2002)

Chaotic Neutral
Never let rogue behind me
Where did my pants go?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 16, 2002)

Inez Hull said:
			
		

> *Wulf I'm still laughing at your Haiku - truly inspired (although it really should have been 'this alignment is so kewl')*




Thanks, I am happy to amuse.

I toyed with kewl, I thought about !33+, in the end I decided it was better both to avoid slang and more importantly, to go for alliteration.

Yep. Gotta shoot for the alliteration. 


Wulf


----------



## cyphertube (Oct 16, 2002)

*My fighter's lament*

Here goes my craziness:

Brilliant energy
spiked chain with reach still cannot
whirlwind out ten feet.


----------



## BennyG (Oct 16, 2002)

Here is my feeble attempt...

Me is Half-orc bard.
Me sing, not so gud, dance bad,
bash you gud with lute!

Benny G


----------



## Dextolen (Oct 16, 2002)

Orc Bard Haiku

Strumming and singing
The mandolin strings break free
It makes a good club


----------



## KDLadage (Oct 16, 2002)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Now this is a FANATSTIC haiku.
> 
> ...




I thank you kindly.
These are words that touch my heart;
appreciated.

But still, I must ask
why you feel the need to dock
when I am so right?

Page eighty, bottom
It states Combat Reflexes
Gives more AoA's

But alas! I see!
"Round," not "turn," is the right way
to express this now!


----------



## CRGreathouse (Oct 16, 2002)

These are my favorites:



			
				Tsyr said:
			
		

> *The sounds of rapture
> A sea of tears shed in joy
> The Half-Orc bard dies *






			
				KDLadage said:
			
		

> *Opportunity:
> without combat reflexes,
> knocks but once per turn*






			
				Radiating Gnome said:
			
		

> *Frets drip blood on snow
> Critic said Half-orc bards suck.
> Now My lute's in tune.*




*****



			
				tarchon said:
			
		

> *Crazy warlock casts.
> Fiendish dire bovine appears.
> "Unholy cow!"  I shout.*




Nice, but the last line's too long.



			
				Magic Rub said:
			
		

> *This is a great troll
> I bet there are no prizes
> Billy got us good*


----------



## myorke (Oct 16, 2002)

*Variation on a theme*

My entry:

Monte said it best:
The adventure begins with
an orc and a pie.

And later more:

Book of Vile Darkness
Monte Cook's at it again.
When's Eldritch Might Three?

Up on a Soapbox:
When Gary Gygax writes we
still listen and learn.

And to stay topical:

Avalanche Press erred;
mistaken identity.
Good Morrus forgives.


----------



## Maerdwyn (Oct 16, 2002)

consolidated this with my other post earlier in the thread


----------



## Kae'Yoss (Oct 16, 2002)

although i am strong
i don't rule the world cause of
my thoughts in chaos.

(I am in great shame
I have a terrible flaw:
I just cannot rhyme)


----------



## Walker N. Waistz (Oct 16, 2002)

*Lament of a Half-Orc Bard*

Breathing winter's mist
My daughter's height imposes
Youth's summer is gone


----------



## River (Oct 16, 2002)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Now this is a FANATSTIC haiku.
> 
> ...




I too must bow.  The perfection of that haiku cannot be contested.

River


----------



## ichabod (Oct 16, 2002)

*what the heck?*

Here's my "half-orc bard" entry into the contest:

Skull drums resonate
Half-orc sorrow vents in waves
No more foes to kill


----------



## Sejs (Oct 16, 2002)

*Haiku: Fireball.*

I shall smite my foes.
Arcane flames dance at my call!
Damn, he made his save.


----------



## Devon (Oct 16, 2002)

Here is my haiku for submission:

"Can my first-level
Psion take teleport? No?
Damn third edition!"

Here are some other ones, for giggles:

Unconscious player!
Don't tell your friends what to do --
Your voice has been stilled.

Yay! Third edition!
Those AD&D munchkins
Need time to catch up.



Thank you!

-  Devon


----------



## CRGreathouse (Oct 16, 2002)

Devon said:
			
		

> *"Armor stacks with shield,
> Insight bonuses stack, but
> Like bonuses don't"*




Hmm.  Insight bonuses don't stack, but dodge and circumstance bonuses do stack.


----------



## Zephalon (Oct 16, 2002)

Thats my try on dwarven battle tactics:

we retreat and are slain,
we stay and get slaughtered,
we charge and attack!


----------



## Echoes (Oct 16, 2002)

Here's my entry.  Not funny, but somewhat poetic.  File this under, "Dire Bats."

A black firecracker,
the bats swoop out from the mouth
of the ancient cave.


----------



## Devon (Oct 16, 2002)

*AH, true*



> Hmm. Insight bonuses don't stack, but dodge and circumstance bonuses do stack.




Wow... I had completely misunderstood that entry in the rules FAQ.  Not as clever as I had thought, eh?  Thanks for catching that.

I should revise it to 
"Armor stacks with shield,
And dodge, and circumstance; no
Other bonus stacks"

But I don't like it as much.  I want my submission haiku to be 

"Can my first-level
Psion take teleport? No?
Damn third edition!"

- Devon


----------



## Talaysen (Oct 16, 2002)

I'd like to dedicate my entry to Jack Chick:

I gamed with Jesus
He played an Epic cleric
The Lord's a munchkin


----------



## jazzjr (Oct 17, 2002)

Blazing ball explodes
Electifiing beam strikes
Destruction Occurs


----------



## cenobyte (Oct 17, 2002)

*D&D Haiku - Dice Etiquette*

Hey.  You touched my dice.
Now all my mojo is gone.
Get me new dice, jerk.


**One could also subsitute "Quinn" for "Hey", as Quinn is always buggering up everybody's die mojo**


----------



## eris404 (Oct 17, 2002)

*D&D Haiku - Dice Etiquette*

"He rolls his dice, but
no one sees the end result.
Roll again, cheater."


----------



## Billy Meacham (Oct 17, 2002)

*Haiku*

The rolling of dice
Drown away and Mock the sad
Sobs of the D.M.


----------



## Excaliburszone (Oct 17, 2002)

Here are a few that came to me when I read about a Haiku contest about D&D  I went with all the suggestions then added ones for each class. Hope you like them. 

-------MY ENTRY-------------------
Buffaloes Roll Dice.
Pesky Thief Has Died Again.
D.M., He is God.
--------------------------------------

Sing Bungo Sing Songs
Your Enemies Flee in Fear
As Does Your Party.

Streak Through The Hot Air
Lightning Bounces, Flame Expands.
Toasty Adventure.

Hello, Little Friend.
The town needs our help today?
The Orcs Paid Me More.

Dire Boar, My True Friend.
Pierce My Foe's Tender Gullet.
Great Delicacy.

Most Powerful Mage,
Kill your Enemies From Afar.
Fireball In the Hole.

Slice, Dice, and Puree.
Experienced in Killing.
High Level Fighter.

Valued Golden Coins
Sifting through Open fingers.
Spot Check Has Failed.

Healing Hand of Gods,
Bloody, Battered Comrades Here.
Where is the Bandage?

Holy Light Striking.
Woe to the evil minion.
Paladin's Smiting.

Wilderness Creature
Fighting to survive the Wild.
Furry boots and Cloak.

Woodland Animals
Friends they are to my presence.
Nature's Chosen one.

Follow My Trails Now
The Forest Welcomes Us All
Tracker for Hire.

Why Study Magic?
Arcane Arts Are My Mind's Whim.
Sorcerer's Mantra.


----------



## Excaliburszone (Oct 17, 2002)

*Another one ... *

These are dedicated to my old gaming group in J-burg:

An Orc On a Worg?
Easy battles are not swift.
The Dwarf Heals us All.

Bend Over For Life
Dalvor has a cure all here.
Help comes from behind.


----------



## Scion (Oct 17, 2002)

This is a pretty cool contest  will do my meager amount of joking

Multitemplated
Monsters are all forthcoming
Kill Dungeon Master!

and from my gf  in case she can enter as well..lol

Despite my protest
I am a geeky gamer
please save my life now


----------



## RegisteredNurse (Oct 17, 2002)

*Haiku - Half-Orc Bard*

Monolingual Orc
Talks only through muffled song
Oh god make it stop


----------



## Happiest_Sadist (Oct 17, 2002)

An Ode to Vorporal Weapons:

Sword goes snicker-snack,
As two twenties I have rolled
Head lands on the floor.


----------



## Meds (Oct 17, 2002)

Wow, what a great thread, everyone.  I haven't laughed so hard for a long time.

Teflon Billy, how will you manage to pare the thousands of entries down to just 4 winners?  Maybe a 100-pager elimination round is in order?


----------



## Kitsunekaboom (Oct 17, 2002)

*Dice*

Dice etiquette 

Natural twenty
Death to the evil minion
Don't touch my good dice

and one just for fun for my favorite race the goblin

Smelly hordes of doom
Bloody screeching in the night
God I hate that smell


----------



## aescarion (Oct 17, 2002)

*Ode to Total Party Kill*

Here's my entry - 

Only silence now.
We were all deserted by
twenty-sided friends.

I also like this one - 

Critical plus cleave
sends heads, like cherry blossoms, 
tumbling to the floor.

And some more - 

Meet my new best friend,
name of Holy Avenger.
I'm the daddy now.

Monster class abuse
leads to fiendish vampire monk.
Yes, his Fu is strong.

+5 vorpal decks.
Seven ranks in Perform (Rap).
Word to my homies.

'Get on your knees and
give it up to your momma'
says the vampire nymph.

Lizard God statue
has a gem in its navel.
Shall we take i? Yes.


----------



## Asheron (Oct 17, 2002)

verry funny indeed


----------



## Pbartender (Oct 17, 2002)

*The Minstrel Half-orc to the War Has Gone...*

*Warrior Poet,
Voice stolen by the battle,
Will fight nevermore.*


----------



## The Forsaken One (Oct 17, 2002)

I'm not contesting since I'm not ever gonna make this stuff as great as some do but I'd just like to repost the best I found in the thread, some are SOOO good!


---
Smoke clears like fog lifts
Scales glow hot and triumphant
Not disposable
(BadD represented in style, nice)

---
One site rules them all.
One site that consumes us all.
EN World binds us.
(Great and appropriate, nuff said)

---
Daggers in the back
Their coins within my pockets
Place your trust in me.
(Difficult one with some thought behind it, nice work)

---
Autumn leaves fallen --
a darker red than usual.
Sounds of war now fled.
(I liked this one, kinda beautifull)

---
Housebound in winter,
We go on a year's-long quest
Rolling dice with friends.
(nice decent general gaming Haiku)

---
This is my PC
There are many like it but
This PC is mine
D)

---
Funny dice clatter,
Thrown by one whose hero died,
Against the far wall.
(nice... has some feeling in it and I think everyone knows it..sorta)

---
Opportunity:
without combat reflexes,
knocks but once per turn
(Nice technical one with a twist!)

---


Nice work guys, keep it up No real favorite yet, allthough 3 contesting for it


----------



## Inez Hull (Oct 17, 2002)

A few more for laughs:

Golden Age setting
If only I'd known, damn you
Wizards of the Coast.


Called geeks from the first
If only Gary Gygax
Had a better name.


Scry, Buff, Teleport
Favoured tactic of PC's
Never NPC's.


Dual wielding ninjas
Don't call us Munchkins, were just
Hunting three Tarrasques.


----------



## MadDrMark (Oct 17, 2002)

I'm level twenty!
Bah!  Who needs critical hits?
The tarrasque?  Oh, crap.

Hope you like it,
Mark


----------



## Schmoe (Oct 17, 2002)

I've only ever written one D&D haiku, and this is it.  Actually, it is a speculation on what sort of haiku a mindflayer would write, if mindflayers wrote haiku.

*Clams*

Salty putrescence
Quivering mass of jelly
Chewy, like your brain


----------



## Pylar (Oct 17, 2002)

*Haiku are cool!*

I'm entering the first one, but will include the other haiku I wrote just because haiku are so cool.

"At First Level"

axe - ten gold pieces
scale mail - fifty gold pieces
level two - priceless

So I ripped it from an ad campaign..who cares!! Here's the others

The winds of autumn
stir a blood stainded blade of grass
as I track my foe

rogue slips from shadows
with knives hidden in the dark
a silent killer

it's blue and faded
and it smells like Crown Royal
die bag memories

Happy Haikuing  (Is that even a word??")


----------



## apsuman (Oct 17, 2002)

remember slow smiles
sailing peace over oceans
like blue dirt on fire


g!


----------



## kkoie (Oct 17, 2002)

*Orc Bard*

This entry is a haiku of when I witnessed a performance by _ Gruf _ the barbarian, who just recently took one level in bard.

*
Gruf sang "There once was
A man from Nantuckit." but
forgot the rest! "Oh..."
*


K Koie


----------



## Dougal DeKree (Oct 17, 2002)

*real occurence*

just have to add this one, sorry:

Gaming makes tired
go, get us some beer, darling
ouch, that really hurt!


----------



## Darud (Oct 17, 2002)

*My Entry*

Hasbro bought them out;

O-G-L will save the day,

When all are laid off!


----------



## ShaneHenry (Oct 17, 2002)

Red box to brown book
How many dice have fallen?
No more white crayon


----------



## KB9JMQ (Oct 17, 2002)

Contest Submission 

Stoneskin, I love thee
I'm such a wimp without you
Let's go kick some butt


----------



## Thyrkill (Oct 17, 2002)

I had a very LONG day yesterday with my Fifth Grade class, and though not related to D&D, I wrote a haiku yesterday that I wanted to share;

Tired, dragging my butt
Students will not stay quiet
Voice hoarse from yelling



Thanks for letting me let off steam.

Matt


----------



## tarchon (Oct 17, 2002)

Meds said:
			
		

> *Wow, what a great thread, everyone.  I haven't laughed so hard for a long time.
> 
> Teflon Billy, how will you manage to pare the thousands of entries down to just 4 winners?  Maybe a 100-pager elimination round is in order? *




Maybe the polyhedral theory of criticism?


----------



## hong (Oct 17, 2002)

Schmoe said:
			
		

> *I've only ever written one D&D haiku, and this is it.  Actually, it is a speculation on what sort of haiku a mindflayer would write, if mindflayers wrote haiku.
> 
> Clams
> 
> ...






=== REPOST ===
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.dnd
Subject: An Illithid Haiku:  Clams
From: Noah Dowd <noah@bnr.ca>
Date: Mon, 14 Oct 1996 12:46:03 -0500
--------
"Clams"

Salty putrescence
Quivering mass of jelly
Chewy, like your brain.

=== END REPOST ===

And I believe someone followed up with

Human, let's do lunch
Meet me in a dark alley
Do not wear a hat

And Psion, of all people:

Illithid, you're meat
You're no worse than a dragon
Hey, where is the mage?


----------



## evildmguy (Oct 17, 2002)

*Okay, I will try*

As a DM, here is my entry:

*
The lever is large
only a fool would pull it.
They fight for the job.
*

Extras, again from a DM:

All signs say go north.
characters stop and confer
South is then chosen.

Mountains of gold will
only tempt characters more.
They rush to their death. 

To go there is death, 
even with the piles of
treasure. Where'd they go?

(idea borrowed from Dragon)
We are insulted!
We will regain our honor!
What's Odin's AC?

For fun:

Hallowed Mountain Dew
the sacred drink sustains me 
let us go all night!

edg


----------



## Ringmasta (Oct 18, 2002)

Do not touch my dice
My dice are my dearest friends
Also, I hate you

Ah the jolting flash
of lightning cannot compare
to burning goblins

Run and hide in fear!
For the fiendish toad doth come
And god it's ugly

Behold!  I am orc!
Yet sweet music I make now.
Korg Smash!  Korg Break Things!

Hands off of my dice!
They are shiny and speckled
Your touch curses them

My lovely dice fell
Into the vent on the floor
The gods laugh at me

The battle begins.
My turn is arriving now.
One.  I hate my dice.

Flanking foes again.
Why is there no sneak attack?
I hate the undead.

My bag full of dice
And with my twelve pack of beer
The gaming begins

A shot of bourbon
when your character is hurt.
Stupid idea.

Finally it's over.
We emerge victorious.
Time for a smoke break.

Contest Entry:
---------------------------

*I will kill them all
My players tried to carry
A bag full of rats.*


----------



## Orco42 (Oct 18, 2002)

Here is my little submission. I have had some great times on these boards.

Harm is not broken
Where is my dear Bugaboo
Rangers got the shaft


----------



## noretoc (Oct 18, 2002)

Heck, I'll try, only cause I never wrote one before 

--
Morning comes too soon.
Our gamming lasted all night.
Work in an hour?
--


----------



## Celebrim (Oct 18, 2002)

Well, I'm not much of a poet, but I'll put my peice of paper in the pot.  

*******************
Dice hanging in the air.
Gamer offers up prayer.
Natural Twenty?
*******************

Living outside rules,
Poet finds one poem
far too constraining.

Modules lengthen with
same text.  D&D stat block
no longer one line.

Next step may be last.
No one has a ten foot pole?
We go back to town.

Tense negotiations.
DM tires of all this talk.
Roll for initiative.

Eight Troll Barbarians
versus an expert thirteen.
CR not exact.

Party find banshee.
Roll for initiative.  Shudder.
Now tomb deathly quiet.

Blink! Clatter! Clatter!
Buy one more black d6!
Rogue just gained level!

Twenty new monster
tomes.   Maybe some DM needs
fiendish dire wombats.

Paladin bends rules.
DM knows that player
Chaotic Nuetral

Jack Chick thinks demons
dwell in dice.  Another one!?!?
OK, maybe some.

Behind screen he notes,
but blow makes hit points rise?
Fight goes too quickly.

------------------------
And now the ENWorld section:

Crothian reviews;
Hong annoys; Dragongirl smirks
at drolling fanboy 

Talk of politics,
makes for short hot discussion.
Darkness soon descends.

Piratecat, worthy
admin.  But wasn't that joke
told about a pig?


----------



## Demogorgon (Oct 18, 2002)

*Commentary on the Book of Vile Darkness*

Demogorgon lite?
Orcus using a Bowflex?  
Dumb illustrator... 







editing : a demon's prerogative


----------



## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Oct 18, 2002)

*DM's Lament*

Days of work wasted.
Cursed Arrow of Slaying!
Modules only from now on.


came up with later:

Bus money is gone.
I'm "Paying the Pig" again!
Somebody drive me home?

---

Spring cherry blossoms,
are beautiful images.
but Airwolf's sig's rule!

---

RE: the above

Please dear DragonGirl,
don't hate me for my Haiku.
Much respect for you! 

---

Again I refresh,
hoping this time it will load
I miss ENWorld

---


----------



## Thyrax (Oct 18, 2002)

Look at my evil eyes
Satisfaction  on my face
Dming is FUN!!


----------



## navriin (Oct 18, 2002)

The same but unlike
Fire roars across the battlefield
Bolt sprints faster though


----------



## Tolen Mar (Oct 18, 2002)

Well, I've never done this before, but here goes...

Axes, Knives, Swords, Blades
Armor, Shields, Magical Spells
Dark cave. What? No torch?


----------



## davewoodrum (Oct 18, 2002)

My crimson, bloody
weapons stink of dead maidens,
is it lunch time?


----------



## davewoodrum (Oct 18, 2002)

I'm an idiot!
I left out a word.... revision:
My crimson, bloody
weapons stink of dead maidens,
is it lunch time yet?


----------



## Krusk (Oct 18, 2002)

A half-orc haiku would be quite a trick,
But he can't get the meter to stick.
He never was able
To count the syllables,
So instead, he wrote a LIMERICK.


----------



## brianajones (Oct 18, 2002)

Dark Psion said:
			
		

> *I'll give this a try;
> 
> ------------------------------
> My party is gone
> ...




Yep, they were written long before the Psionics Handbook came out.  Silly me for not adding those.


----------



## Celyr (Oct 18, 2002)

*haiku*

chaotic neutral--
alignment of eccentrics.
WHEE!  SHINY DICE!  WHEE!


----------



## Gryphon (Oct 18, 2002)

*ROllin ROllin ROllin keep those dice a ROllin*

Dice rolling is Easy
Roleplaying Hard

Your Game easy or Hard?


----------



## Schmoe (Oct 18, 2002)

hong said:
			
		

> *
> 
> === REPOST ===
> Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.dnd
> ...




Hong, you amaze me.  How in the world did you find this?  Does that newsgroup even still exist?  Man, talk about memories...


----------



## Shadewyn (Oct 19, 2002)

*Mmmm Hia-choo!*

Ahhh if this was only summer in LA then I would be thing this was some radio girl begging the lads to give her a five seven five for some bud light.


Fireball spell change
Volume backlash kills no more
Fools go unburned


Didn't you just love "accidently" casting a fireball in 2nd Ed. so that the backlash of the excess volume burst the more annoying party members in your group to the ground?  Now you gotta work at getting rid of the dead wood before they take a share of your treasure!


----------



## Centurion (Oct 19, 2002)

A dire bunny?
How dangerous can it be?
LOOK AT THE BONES!

***************
Most used phrase by players in my campaign . . .
"Run away!!!!"


----------



## Nifft (Oct 19, 2002)

This is my entry, unless you like the other ones better:

-------------------------
No-one expects the 
Elvish Inquisition! For
Justice, Truth and Pie!
-------------------------



"Shall I compare thee 
to a summer's day? Thou art 
more hot and scaly."


"Green skin skalds all spring,"
my master spat. "Fetch my pipe,
and pick some fresh buds."


Red as autumn leaves,
her flame-lit body tumbles.
The drake circles back.


"It was the winter
of our discontent," he read.
"Is that good or bad?"


 -- Nifft


----------



## Dark Psion (Oct 19, 2002)

It's amazing the number of people posting in the single digits total post catagory.

Who knew that Haiku
was the secret webmasters
used for lurker bait

PS: How many Haikus have I ever made??? Ummm 4!


----------



## bloodymage (Oct 19, 2002)

Beginner's Luck? My first attempt ever, off the top of my head:

It's about just me
I am Chaotic Neutral
Those modules are MINE!

*bow*


----------



## WanderingMonster (Oct 19, 2002)

The monster wanders
Around the dungeon hallways.
"Where'd I put my shoes?"


----------



## hong (Oct 19, 2002)

Schmoe said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hong, you amaze me.  How in the world did you find this?  Does that newsgroup even still exist?  Man, talk about memories... *




I have my methods.... 

Rgfd is still around, and still going strong. A few of the regulars are still around: MSB, Robert Baldwin, Dave Klassen, Sea Wasp, and some others. Some have left since 3E came out (Lawrence "DMgorgon" Mead, Halaster) but a lot more have appeared.

The ever-present al*gnm*nt wars still drag on, with no end in sight....


----------



## VirtualWizard (Oct 19, 2002)

This one seems to happen at least once a game 

Toss polyhedrons
Bouncing off table they go
No one can find them


----------



## DonAdam (Oct 19, 2002)

Actual entry:
The lorn half-orc bard
Sings of his long dead father
Who once had a pie

First Try:
Die bounces off book.
Natural 1? Interference!
(Excuse to reroll)


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Oct 19, 2002)

(Just so everyone knows, there is a thread in the meta forum discussing these! Go take a look, so that we don't clog up this thread with no haikus.

Like this one. Oops.  )


----------



## Kitsuki (Oct 19, 2002)

*My "Chaotic Neutral" entry*

No rules of order
Nor thought to good or evil
I did it my way!





tw


----------



## Serpenteye (Oct 20, 2002)

-
IR has come to
The Emerald Empire
Many will die
-

IR-gaming rules!
Edena, master of IR 
Is he not a God?

IRev-Rokugan 
Creamsteak fills shoes
Of the old master

Forrester ate
Elves of Evereska
Tasted like pork?

Protected Athas
Forsaken, peaceful 
Darkened the Sun

Kalanyr turned
Against his nature
Demon to Solar

Who saved the world?
Speechmaker Williams?
Angel-Boy Hazen?

The God-Emperor, 
Who conquered planets,
Ever Triumphant

Allmighty Melkor
Was always the villain
Came so close

Who's more clever
Than Anabstercorian
The last Illithid? 

Zelda the silent 
Defeated Melkor, he's
nice Wedding-gift 

Evil, so evil
Maudlin, Acererak
Fell to betrayal

Lies, deciet
Bugbear, the traitor
Conquered nil

Sollir was ally
Of Sanctus' good elves,
Oozing evil

Kas, mighty slayer
Of Vecna's foul evil
Hero or fiend?

Gnomeworks' Ace
Always foreshadowing
Nuclear fire

Silivrenur, fey,
Sublime lover of fell
Kalanyr's roses 

Reprisal came,
Commonwealth fell apart.
Sorry 'bout that

Elder ones burn
Aurican the dragon
So impressive

John brown's soldiers
Lie a'mouldering
In Shadowthrone

Tokiwong was Iuz
Chaos and despair
Red Goo army

Dagger so clever
Threw down the mountain
On his allies

Bobo The bear
In royal councils
Of Festy Dog's land

Alzem the Solar
Fell to neutrality
And Red Goo

Cab service of
Kaboom's flying castles
Saved Veluna

Darkness' Bakluni
Undead in hidden crypts
Fought for light

O'Skoteinos
Joined the Forsaken.
Orcs in the Hive

Bonedagger was
The Player of Vecna.
Too merciful

Venus, o Venus
Little did I suspect that
You had a penis

I forgot you?
T'was not my intention
It's late here

--

Wonderful story
Sepulchrave weaves
when'll he update?

Load O page!
The Boards are so slow
Why? Why? Why? I cry.

Lament the time
I waste at computer
I'm so addicted

Why Can't I enter,
Server unservisable,
The halls of EN-world?


----------



## Undead Pete (Oct 20, 2002)

Official 1/2 Orc Bard entry:
--------------------------------------------------

_*Don't like my ballad?
Your head will be my next drum
if you don't shut up!*_


----------



## Avarice (Oct 21, 2002)

*2 low level rogues in a great wyrm's lair...*

My life is forfeit
I ask only this one thing:
Eat the halfling first!


----------



## Sir Trent (Oct 22, 2002)

*Haiku (bless you)*

Well buried this deep in the thread it'll probably never be seen but, the way I write, that's a good thing. 

 (ahem)

Screeching of Orc Bard
Horrible beyone compare
Fireball ends problem


----------



## Outsider73 (Oct 22, 2002)

Inspired by the trolls over at Troll Lord Games....

We trolls are hungry
Gonna cook us a hobbit
And eat ‘em right up


----------



## darklight (Oct 22, 2002)

My humble entry...

Serene Morn Shatters
Horrific Sound Chills The Blood
Damn That Half-Orc Bard!

darklight


----------



## Shiv (Oct 22, 2002)

Shiv's Entry:

Ogre Mentality Haiku

Me kill now smash push.
Punch stomp punch club-swing thud thud.
Crush drop thump happy.


----------



## jfiz (Oct 22, 2002)

*My Haiku Entry*

Mine is homocide
under darkest night's purvey
silence is golden


----------



## MeepoTheMighty (Oct 22, 2002)

*My Entry:


Moonlight fills the room
A balor smiles at Eric
Love-child on the way. 
*


Bonuses, because even writing poetry is better than working:


I must waste time at
Work but EN World won't load.
Ah! I'll write haiku.

EN World is down
Protect wallet and/or junk
Off to Nutkinland

Teflon Billy, O
Manly, handsome piece of flesh
Hear he also games

Mighty post count held
By Crothian. The others
Pray just to keep up

Iconic woman
EN Worlders hit on her
Dragongirl just glares

Seven seas he sails
Missing a leg, our pirate
Wears his hat with pride

We whack him with sticks
If you know what I mean, and
I think that you do.

The willow seeks
The paradise; parts the punch
Of the rodent. *yen*  

I should have had this
Girdle looked at by mage, now
I must live with breasts.

They say ev'ryone is 
A critic, yet none speak out.
Half-orc is singing.

Bring fireballs on-line
I waste him with my crossbow
Hoody-fricken-hoo!

Con bonus of 5
Concentration ranks are maxed
A of O my ass.

Wuss-slap to the face
They say I got the shaft, till
I boot to the head

Reading - who needs it?
RAAAR is only word I need.
Krusk no pansy elf.

Sound of steel on stone
Drunken curses shouted, aye,
That's how dwarves tumble.

Hundred pounds I lost
My feet, no longer furry
What the hell happened?


----------



## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2002)

A verdant velvet
Cloak draped on coral skin.  Aaaaugh!
Green slime!  Get it off!

Daniel

PS  This is a great thread -- thanks for the laughs, all!


----------



## Stone Angel (Oct 23, 2002)

*1/2 orc bard*

Out of place or not
Horrendous breath with one tusk
what beautiful song


----------



## Sidran (Oct 23, 2002)

Halfling Haiku

Like a Dragonfly,
I have been through the woods
Oof, and almost squished.



My Grasshopper friend 
See me yawning, see me stretch 
Sing me lulibies. 

In the cold darkness,
 The spell _ Continual Flame_ 
Warms me none at all 


Lonely graveyard lich,
  Its drafty betwixt thy bones  
 Hear them shiver, so

Wild midnight wind song
Rustling the Sidhe down
For the Flower dance


----------



## Talath (Oct 23, 2002)

Billy I like stuff
I am sort of like the Fonz
I will jump the shark


----------



## Theron (Oct 23, 2002)

Dungeons and Dragons
Cool October after school
Life forever changed


----------



## TommyTutone (Oct 23, 2002)

Consider this one mine (I haven't read but the first few, so I do not know how it'll compare):

Me am STRONG half-orc,
Watch me barsh things with me club,
Me not so good with haiku though.


----------



## Sir Edgar (Oct 23, 2002)

So many d20
What the heck is OGL
Now all go to hell


----------



## Sialia (Oct 23, 2002)

a trembling drop 
at blossom's edge, plot dangles . . .
post, Piratecat, post.






-


----------



## darklight (Oct 24, 2002)

Couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd post a haiku I just thought up 
As I have already posted a contest entry, this one is just for fun.


"Peaceful forest folk"
Your lies cannot hide the thruth
All elves are evil


Just a small pointer to the hidden role of elves in my campaign 

darklight


----------



## Sagiro (Oct 24, 2002)

Please use the first one as my official entry, unless there's a different one you like more.  

*
Fiendwurm stomach ache
"Portalectomy, I beg...
Demons give me gas!"
*
The next person who
says "Evard's Black Testicles"
loses ten X.P.

Pancake breathing fire
Farts to move, engenders awe:
Half dragon, half flumph.

Exasperated Half-Orc 
Orc _father_, not place
where Robin Williams comes from.
Keep your genres straight!

"Bartender, that smell 
is coming from the roof!" "Oh?
Otyughs on the house!"

Bump bump bump bump bump
Bump bump, bump bump bump, bump bump
Sepulchrave, wake up!

Author takes acid
"One for the Fiend Folio!
Tirapheg!  It's great!"

Natural Twenty!
Critical Hit!  Massive Pain!
Oops... it's a construct.

"Hey, a big black door!
I jump in and draw my... huh?
It's a Sphere of WHAT?"

My DM's a jerk.
She won't let me keep my gun
from "Barrier Peaks."

Ten foot pole, spikes: check!
Torches, rations, spellbooks:  check!
One Blind Kobold: check!

Beautiful rhythym,
Humor, wit and relevance:
Iconic Haiku!

It's the perfect plan
For overcoming all foes:
Buff, Scry, Teleport!

-Sagiro


----------



## Teflon Billy (Oct 24, 2002)

Just wanted to use the 200th post to this thread to thank everyone for their participation.

I never dreamed the quality of the entries would be this great

I am thoroughly entertained (which was pretty much the point of the contest)

The haiku contest
has surpassed expectations
You should all be proud


----------



## darkbard (Oct 24, 2002)

hoping the subtlety is not lost here....

in the elf's shadow
soon i'll afford masterwork
damn that minus two!


----------



## Barendd Nobeard (Oct 24, 2002)

You can't crit undead
Scythe Supernatural Blow
No crit?  I don't care


----------



## mkletch (Oct 24, 2002)

Slow day. Creative.
Threw these together quickly.
Separate? As one?

======================

Breath gone in the glare
Lightning flashes, ground to sky,
The great dragon falls.

And so the grand wrym
In its ruin descending
Breaks the land, burning.

No deed of revenge
stuck down the sorcerer proud:
fire defeats luck, fate.

In final embrace
Mighty powers come to nought.
Death is final peace.

======================

Need a familiar.
What is available? Only:
Fiendish dire ... squid!

-Fletch


----------



## Meds (Oct 25, 2002)

*Celestial Shih Tzu
Leads a pampered existence.
ZZAP! flank, die, repeat.
* 

Best spell, in my book,
Is Prestidigitation.
Drizz't soils pants again.

Die, Polyhedron!
Impact-resistant? Let's see:
d2, Polygon.

Edit: removed image of pooch


----------



## Tectonic042 (Oct 25, 2002)

*My entry*

An ode to the munchkinized misuse of that zany alignment we all know as.... Chaotic Neutral:

Is it genuine?
Does he want to play the role?
Party death says, 'No.'


----------



## shadow (Oct 25, 2002)

This one really isn't about D&D per se, but I thought it was interesting:

Running through a maze
Hacking monsters left and right
Elf needs food badly


----------



## arwink (Oct 26, 2002)

Sudden need for silence
Half-orcs tongue sings no more tales
Fireball is victor


----------



## MEG Hal (Oct 26, 2002)

Here is mine, if I am ineligible no worries---just having fun.

*Why did I do it?* 
*Bought die from a meteor* 
*It cost how much-ARGH!* 

This refers to GenCon and what an arse I am, I tend to buy one stupid item at every con, and at 2002 GenCon that was it....I love my die with its certificate and all, but why did I spend so much money on one 20 sided die!


----------



## Magestrike (Oct 28, 2002)

*What the hell*

Like it says, what the hell....


A Haiku Contest
To win a load of cool stuff
No chance of Winning

Mage


----------



## critical fumble (Oct 28, 2002)

*good contest*

I miss your games over here in Japan, I don’t have your e-mail, get mine off stuart or someone and send me a message sometime, k?

I found a bit of time for some entries, ... hard to decide which one you would like the best, …

But for simple nostalgia’s sake the entry is:

Experience point time,
The Dwarf gets a big bonus,
For bringing the beer.

My other attempts were:

Do we have a plan?
I am lost in this dark cave
Attack the darkness!

I roll to get drunk.
Are there any girls around?
I Rage! …  You’re not there!

Leadership seemed cool,
But my cohort’s a pervert,
Keeps ogling my butt.

It’s not my home plane,
There are beholders all over !
Damn magic card deck!


take care of my city for me will ya,  - windman.


----------



## Voadam (Oct 28, 2002)

*Half-Orc Bard Haiku*

Me like to sing loud
Have one little problem though
I don't know song words


----------



## Teflon Billy (Oct 29, 2002)

*Re: good contest*



			
				critical fumble said:
			
		

> I miss your games over here in Japan, I don’t have your e-mail, get mine off stuart or someone and send me a message sometime, k?




Holy Tapdancing Christ! it's my friend Windman!

Hope Japan is all you hoped it would be Matt. I can be reached at jeff_ranger@yahoo.com



> I found a bit of time for some entries, ... hard to decide which one you would like the best, …
> 
> But for simple nostalgia’s sake the entry is:
> 
> ...




Anyone who provided anything for the group (or, more importantly, the DM) got an XP bonus...you benefited as much as anyone



> My other attempts were:
> 
> Do we have a plan?
> I am lost in this dark cave
> Attack the darkness!




If only you had worked in "Attacking your own side" you would have won the contest



> I roll to get drunk.
> Are there any girls around?
> I Rage! …  You’re not there!




Classic



> Leadership seemed cool,
> But my cohort’s a pervert,
> Keeps ogling my butt.




Well, for your cohort, you wanted a guy who was there to "cast haste on you", forgive the DM for giving him a little "character" 



> It’s not my home plane,
> There are beholders all over !
> Damn magic card deck!




Wan't there for this one, so I assume it has something to do with your plan to start a Beholder farm?




> take care of my city for me will ya,  - Windman




Will do...I'm going to be starting a Story Hour here in order once my *Mutants and Masterminds* campaign gets going. Tune in.

Admittedly *Windman* is still in a Coma from being exposed to hard vaccuum while the *Justice Hurricane* was attempting to escape the Zergg Gladiator ship, but he might be mentioned

Have fun there man.


----------



## Richards (Oct 30, 2002)

Okay, here's my entry.  It's a tribute to Wulf Ratbane and his creative solution to the "no using bad language on the EN World messageboards" dilemma:

*A dwarf has to swear
But Eric's Grandma hears all
In that case: ferkit*

------------------------------------

I had what I thought was a really cool idea for another one, but it ended up kind of clunky.  So, just for fun, here's a puzzle-based haiku for you guys to chew on.  There's a secret world involved; see if you can figure out what it is.

*Puzzle hidden now
To decipher: all end place
Character symbols*

I'm not really happy with that one, because instead of having each line being a separate, standalone clause, it's more of a "line one, lines two and three together" deal.  And the words I ended up with don't flow nicely together.  But oh well - at least I got the syllables right.  Can anybody tell me what word is being referenced?

Johnathan


----------



## darkbard (Oct 30, 2002)

well, we are of course!  but i won't type it here in case anyone else wants to puzzle it out first.


----------



## JoeBlank (Oct 30, 2002)

Not much of a poet myself, so I figured the half-orc bard to be the most appropriate subject:

*Half-orc Bard* 

Sing and smash again
My music is the cure for,
and cause of, my rage


----------



## Jondor_Battlehammer (Oct 31, 2002)

We were running the beginning adventure in L5R, and we were all at the Haiku contest trying to actually write the poem. A freind of ours who had never played before, (and of course took a Large, Socially Awkward Crab Bushi), asked for help, and this is what I gave her.  


* 6' 5' fully armored Crab, counting on fingers *


I see Oni, Squish,

Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish,

Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish, err... oops.


----------



## Voadam (Oct 31, 2002)

Half orc bard

Rage washes over me
Could it be this summer heat
Hark, the call of war

Who need cha, int, wis
If like hitting drums loudly
Half-Orc make good bard


General

Something's very wrong
Feels like gnawing on my brain
Oh no! mindflayers

Where and who am I
My body falls away, gone
Is this now undeath


----------



## Voadam (Oct 31, 2002)

Double post


----------



## Voadam (Oct 31, 2002)

Lightning bolt, fireball
To zap or to boom with magic
That is the question


----------



## Voadam (Oct 31, 2002)

lightning bolts are cool
fireballs can start farther out
Both can be fun zaps


----------



## Voadam (Oct 31, 2002)

Blackguard pet of choice
Who says size does not matter
Fiendish dire tiger


----------



## Skarp Hedin (Nov 1, 2002)

"The Evil DM"

Rogue misses the trap
I declare thief Blackleaf dead
Jack Chick -- rat bastard


----------



## geezerjoe (Nov 1, 2002)

*Infernal Dire Sparrow*

Ok. Here goes my feeble attempt. I thought this was funny though  

Big ugly sparrow
Flaming, smokey, and evil
Peck out not my eyes!

Joe Too Old


----------



## Richards (Nov 1, 2002)

Deleted; double post


----------



## Richards (Nov 1, 2002)

Here's the solution to my "puzzle haiku" posted earlier. I'll make the solution "black letters on a black background" so you can't read it by accident if you still want to figure it out yourself. And congratulations to darkbard who figured it out right away!

For those tuning in late, here's the puzzle haiku again:

Puzzle hidden now
To decipher: all end place
Character symbols

And here's the solution:

The phrase "all end place character symbols" is a clunky way to refer to "the last letter in each word." It might help if I lined them up this way:

-----PUZZLE
-----HIDDEN
--------NOW
----------TO
---DECIPHER
---------ALL
---------END
-------PLACE
-CHARACTER
----SYMBOLS

Thus, taking the last letter from every word in the haiku, we get the word "ENWorlders" (okay, technically not a word you'd find in the dictionary, but still).  

Johnathan


----------



## darkbard (Nov 2, 2002)

Richards said:
			
		

> *And congratulations to darkbard who figured it out right away!
> 
> [/COLOR]
> 
> Johnathan *




[teary-eyed]  i'd like to thank all my supporters who have stuck with me from the beginning....

now, if i only win the haiku contest!


----------



## Rune (Nov 2, 2002)

Autumn afternoon
sees a light gust of wind play
with our characters.


----------



## Voadam (Nov 2, 2002)

The washington post has a sunday style section feature called haiku as autobiography, but it annoys me because they are not haikus but short paragraphs that goes way over 17 syllables.

So here is my autobiography haiku:

Husband, journalist
In the summer of my life
Dog-owner, gamer

And here are some general D&D haiku:

Will do game reviews
In-depth, analytical
For free pdfs

I am listed in
Relics and Rituals II
As an author, yay

Arcane Creations
I wrote a book on magic
Revisions to come

Twenty years gaming
As both DM and player
D&D for life

I run rough games
Harsh but fair, roommate died thrice
Players ever on edge

Ravenloft tonight
Fear and horror blanket all
Intense but real fun

"They’re only kobolds"
Uttered famous last words
As they enter tunnels


----------



## Teflon Billy (Nov 3, 2002)

Ok folks, it's November 2nd and that means that the polls are now officially closed.

I have mixed up my first hi-ball, and the judging will begin shortly.

I want to, again, thank everyone for thir participation. The quantity and quality of entries is so far beyojd what I was expecting, that I now wish I had broken the batches of Adventures up into smaller "prize packages" so as to better reward the entrants

But four luxurious prize packages were promised, and four it shall be.

There will be a _lot_ of honorable mentions though.

Thanks again for your enthusiasm. This really is the best D&D community on the net.


----------



## Piratecat (Nov 4, 2002)

And you, Jeff, are a hell of a guy for doing this. I hate to sound sappy, but it's people like you who make this community so cool.

Just wanted to say thanks.


----------



## the Jester (Nov 4, 2002)

agreed, way to go teflon billy!


----------



## Teflon Billy (Nov 6, 2002)

Ok folks, I'm adding a fifth place prize package to the pile.

It will be compirsed of five adventures from the good folks a *Guildhouse Games*'s _The Domains of Althos_ line of adventures.

The titles are as follows...

*Red or White*

*The Succubus Bride*

*The Plague of Nyarathoth*

*A Thief's Tale*

*A Green Place to Die*

So we have the rize pool up to five now

Judging continues. Stay tuned


----------



## Undead Pete (Nov 6, 2002)

Teflon Billy said:
			
		

> *Ok folks, I'm adding a fifth place prize package to the pile.
> 
> It will be compirsed of five adventures from the good folks a Guildhouse Games's The Domains of Althos line of adventures.
> 
> ...




I've been checking back every couple of hours to see if I placed.  This is ALMOST as intense as the Setting Search....and instead of my chances being 1 in 1000 to get chosen, it's more like 1 in 40.

My fingers are *BLOODY STUMPS* from chewing my nails in anxiety.

It makes it kinda hard to type


----------



## nameless (Nov 6, 2002)

doh, I had a good one all planned out. I guess I should read the boards more often

-nameless


----------



## Kilmore (Nov 7, 2002)

Arh!  I thought one up late!!

Necronomicon
Klaatu Barada mumble
I have doomed us all.


----------



## bloodymage (Nov 7, 2002)

> I've been checking back every couple of hours to see if I placed. This is ALMOST as intense as the Setting Search....and instead of my chances being 1 in 1000 to get chosen, it's more like 1 in 40.
> 
> My fingers are *BLOODY STUMPS*  from chewing my nails in anxiety.




Well., I'm certainly not suffering any anxiety. I check back only to see who the winners are. If I place, I'm sure I'll keel over with shock since I have absolutely no idea of what makes a successful haiku. It just seemed a fun thing to take a stab at.


----------



## Sir Trent (Nov 8, 2002)

Looks to me like Teflon Billy is pulling a WOTC on us... dragging out the judging without giving any updates!


----------



## Pielorinho (Nov 8, 2002)

The world holds its breath.
No bird sings. No wind blows. Then
plaintive cries:  "WHO WON????"


----------



## Maerdwyn (Nov 8, 2002)

Drowning in haiku,
Teflon Billy softly pleads:
"Patience, Grasshopper."


----------



## Voadam (Nov 8, 2002)

I want Rokugan
It sounds like a good setting
Maybe I won it


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## Voadam (Nov 8, 2002)

I wrote some haikus
Cherry blossom poetry
For free D20

Who has won Billy?
Contest is over and now
Hopefully we wait


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## Nifft (Nov 8, 2002)

Complaints are rain drops,
spring showers, that harmlessly
slide off of Teflon.

 -- Nifft


----------



## Pielorinho (Nov 8, 2002)

Nifft said:
			
		

> *Complaints are rain drops,
> spring showers, that harmlessly
> slide off of Teflon.
> -- Nifft *




I read your post, and
furrow my brow.  I wonder:
Teflon is a duck?

Daniel


----------



## Nifft (Nov 8, 2002)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *I read your post, and
> furrow my brow.  I wonder:
> Teflon is a duck?
> *




If we throw him in
the lake, and he floats, he must
be a wood duck witch.

 -- Nifft


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## Nifft (Nov 8, 2002)

Specifically, 
he must be a half-golem
(wood) were-duck Adept.

 -- Nifft


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## Pielorinho (Nov 8, 2002)

Half-golem wooden
were-duck adept wearing a
Teflon coat, that is.


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## Teflon Billy (Nov 8, 2002)

Ahh, if only the entries concerning my ability to repel water were recieved before the deadline...

Anyway folks, sorry about the "no Updates" WotC act I've pulled. Didn't mean to.

The list of winners will be posted on Monday Nov 11th.

Thansk for your patience, and try to realize that reason it's taking so long is because of the volume and quality of the entries


----------



## Chitsu-Otoshi (Nov 9, 2002)

Another Kind Milwaukee Summer,
I met Morrus and Al,
The Elephant Walk.


----------



## Chitsu-Otoshi (Nov 9, 2002)

The Elves behind ignored us,
We talked deep into the night,
Furious Tromboning!






<I><B>Check out the windows-peak - Kazad Doom</B></I>


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## Nifft (Nov 9, 2002)

*can't ... stop ... must ... haiku ... glurp ...*

A Cloak of Teflon
was the Dragon's gift to poor
Dirk, the non-stick knight.

 -- Nifft

P.S.: worry not,
Teflon Billy. Some of my
good stuff made it in.


----------



## Chitsu-Otoshi (Nov 9, 2002)

Fondling the masters skull as a child,
And the horrors in the museum,
Dream City..


----------



## Cameroon (Nov 9, 2002)

Pre-Kabkui
Post-Kalachanga
I walked with a difference.


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## Nifft (Nov 9, 2002)

Cameroon said:
			
		

> *Pre-Kabkui
> Post-Kalachanga
> I walked with a difference. *






"It was just a dream!
And god-damn it, I do not
have an anal probe!"

 -- Cartman


----------



## Dr Midnight (Nov 10, 2002)

Damn Teflon Billy's
flare for procrastination
and purple dress pants.


----------



## Darklone (Nov 10, 2002)

*LOL* 

Damn, TeflonBilly, don't you have some other things for the post deadline haikus ?


----------



## Crothian (Nov 11, 2002)

Well, the time is now
past 12 on the eleventh
I am impatient


----------



## Geist (Nov 11, 2002)

The pacific time
Teflon Billy does run on
so now you must wait.


otherwise: its to early for him to be up!


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## Dr Midnight (Nov 11, 2002)

Teflon Billy, dude,
you need to post the winners
Or else I will cry.


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## alsih2o (Nov 11, 2002)

teflon billy reads
poems and beer now cojoined
which will make him sick?


----------



## Drew (Nov 11, 2002)

As Tom Petty said,
or, rather, as he once sang:
the waiting is hard.


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## Nifft (Nov 11, 2002)

Drew said:
			
		

> *the waiting is hard*




I must correct you:
"The waiting is the hardest
part," sang Tom Petty.

With his decree, I 
must agree, and wait, too late,
for my poetry.

 -- Nifft

PS: I want extra credit for making a lymric haiku!


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## Drew (Nov 11, 2002)

Nifft said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I must correct you:
> "The waiting is the hardest
> ...




Let me clarify.
I was just paraphrasing
when I qouted Tom.


----------



## alsih2o (Nov 11, 2002)

tom petty isn't
what i would call haiku chic
but it did sound good


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## Drew (Nov 11, 2002)

alsih2o said:
			
		

> *tom petty isn't
> what i would call haiku chic
> but it did sound good *




Well, please understand
I work on the radio
playing classic rock.


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## DonAdam (Nov 11, 2002)

Billy hurries not.
My angst looks for an outlet.
That's how Vampire sells.


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## Sir Trent (Nov 11, 2002)

WITH-HOLDING RESULTS
PROVES TEFLON BILLY IS
A REAL MEAN PERSON


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## Nifft (Nov 11, 2002)

Drew said:
			
		

> *Let me clarify.
> I was just paraphrasing
> when I qouted Tom. *




More petty than Tom,
I point out that you either
paraphrase _or_ quote.

 -- Nifft

PS:


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## Dr Midnight (Nov 11, 2002)

Drew said:
			
		

> *Well, please understand
> I work on the radio
> playing classic rock. *




Play some Skynyrd, man
or, failing that, some Focus?
...the yodeling one.


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## Drew (Nov 11, 2002)

Dr Midnight said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Play some Skynyrd, man
> or, failing that, some Focus?
> ...the yodeling one. *




Freebird, Simple Man,
Call Me the Breeze, Tuesday's Gone,
or classic Sweet Home?



			
				Nifft said:
			
		

> *
> 
> More petty than Tom,
> I point out that you either
> ...




Darn grammer police!
Check my poetic licence
then leave me alone!

 

Let me do one more:
To *paraphrase* Henry's sig:
Come on Teflon B!


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## KDLadage (Nov 11, 2002)

Patience: a virtue
It sooths the pain of waiting...
...or so I've been told


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## Crothian (Nov 11, 2002)

I have never seen
conversations through haikus
this is really cool


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## Rune (Nov 11, 2002)

Drew said:
			
		

> Let me do one more:
> To *paraphrase* Henry's sig:
> Come on Teflon B!




"C'mon Teflon Billy"
Would surely work just as well;
It's truer to form.


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## Teflon Billy (Nov 11, 2002)

Ok, Cats and Kitties, it's the moment you've all been waiting for!

*THE WINNERS OF THE FIRST ANNUAL TEFLON BILLY POST-ENNIE TITANIC HAIKU ADVENTURE MODULE GIVEAWAY *

Well, that was a lot longer title than I had planned for, but there you go 

Anyway on to the Haikus themselves, and a great bunch of entries they were. I'm going to start with the lowest rung of honourable mentions.

*THE POST-DEADLINE ENTRIES*

If only you all had made it in under the deadline and written about a subject other than _Teflon Billy's Rank Laziness_ (Witness *Dr. Midnight*'s work)

*Damn Teflon Billy's
flare for procrastination
and purple dress pants*

or on the theme of _Get to Fricken Work Teflon Billy_ (Witness *Crothian*'s 10 billionth post)

*Well, the time is now
past 12 on the eleventh
I am impatient*

Or chose to wax philosophical on my judging methods (Witness everyone's favorite Clay-Spinner *Alsih20*)

*Teflon Billy reads
poems and beer now cojoined
which will make him sick?*

The answer incidentally was moot as I don't drink beer and, alas, whiskey has two syllables 

When the johnny-come-lately's all devolved into the Minutiae of Tom Petty lyrics is when I knew we had some manner of group Honourable Mention in the works (Witness *Drew*, triggering the Avalanche)

*As Tom Petty said,
or, rather, as he once sang:
the waiting is hard*

Hardcore Petty fan *Nifft* responded with...

*I must correct you:
"The waiting is the hardest
part," sang Tom Petty.

With his decree, I 
must agree, and wait, too late,
for my poetry*

*Drew* came out swinging with...

*Let me clarify.
I was just paraphrasing
when I quoted Tom*

*Drew* then inexplicably decided to throw the match, by claiming that obviously incorrect lyrics were, in fact, correct...and he had the pedigree to prove it! (Witness *Drew*, figuratively putting a nail in his own coffin)

*Well, please understand
I work on the radio
playing classic rock.*

*Nifft* at this point comes back at the groggy *Drew*with what can only be called the "Finishing Move", a criticism of terminology coupled with a clever play on words tossed in for good measure!

*More petty than Tom,
I point out that you either
paraphrase or quote*

Uppercut! Uppercut! Flurry to the Sternum! Right Cross and *Drew* is _DOWN_!

Unquestionably as entertaining a match of Tom Petty-related Duelling Haiku as I've ever seen, and certainly worthy of an honourable mention. 

*Sir Trent* alone seemed to understand the basic realities of the situation and outlined them as well as I could imagine them being outlined in 17 syllables (Witness *Sir Trent*, hurting the feelings of *Teflon Billy*)

*WITH-HOLDING RESULTS
PROVES TEFLON BILLY IS
A REAL MEAN PERSON*

Kinda get's you right in the heart doesn't it folks?  )

In any event, all of the Entrants above, having made a concerted and impressive Haiku effort well past the stated deadline, receive the prize for* Honourable Mention: Second Grade*.

*Dr. Midnight *, *Crothian*, *alsih20*, *Drew *, *Nifft *, and *Sir Trent*; please each accept your copy of the esteemed *Monte Cook*'s *Ennie* nominated adventure _Orc and Pie_.

You may pick up your copy at http://www.montecook.com/arch_lineos11.html

Enjoy, and in all seriousness, thanks for the fun Haikus, despite their being after the deadline.

Next up...

*THE HONOURABLE MENTIONS *

There were a _lot_ of entries that deserved some recognition, despite my not having a prize available for them. The following, in a perfect world, would have received some kind of recompense for their efforts, and more and more I regret having only made up three enormous packages rather than a bunch of smaller ones.
Nonetheless, the die is cast and I hope these worthies can be satisfied with simply the recognition of the value of their efforts.

Or, they can help themselves to a copy of the esteemed *Monte Cook*¡¦s *Ennie* nominated adventure _Orc and Pie_. http://www.montecook.com/arch_lineos11.html

Anyway...

It would seem that my suggested topic *Half-Orc Bard* held the most resonance with folks

And every single one of them concerned the awfulness of the bard's performance (to one degree or another)! Is there no love for the Half-Orc Bard? (Witness *Maerdwyn*'s non-entry)

* All my gold to he
Who smashes Kraag's lute and leads
Him down a new path.*

Or *Herald*, leading our poor protagonist on, then sucker-punching him in the last stanza...

*Sing me a love song,
Winsome, Lonely Half-Orc Bard,
You make my ears bleed*

Or *Tsyr*, celebrating his death!

*The sounds of rapture
A sea of tears shed in joy
The Half-Orc bard dies*

I both pity and admire those of you out there who actually _play_ Half-Orc bards, it sounds like there is a lot more latent hostility out there than I may have, at first thought. Only *Agnostic Paladin* had any respect for the Half-Orc Bard...envisioning him as some kind of speed metal monster. 

*Loud fast and angry
Music and musician both
Applaud loud or die*

Now _that's_ more like it

There _was_ some dissent amongst the judges, I was tempted to give *Die_Kluge*'s following Haiku first place! But somehow, inexplicably, tastes differed enough that I was outvoted! Oh the unfairness of it all!

*A damn handsome man
really generous to boot
see: Teflon Billy*

*Meepo the Mighty* nearly made the cut with his entry...

*Moonlight fills the room
A balor smiles at Eric
Love-child on the way*

Until we realized the single glaring error. In *Chronosome*'s immortal "Eric Noah is my Half-Fiend Love Child", Eric in fact _is_ the half-fiend love child, not it's father. So near and yet so far Meepo. Good effort though.

I would _love_ to list more honourable mentions, but my typing skills (and endurance) are just not up to it. Suffice to say that we all greatly appreciated the efforts of all entrants. I think entrant *Meds* said it best when he wrote...



> Teflon Billy, how will you manage to pare the thousands of entries down to just 4 winners?




His Haiku *Celestial Shi-Tzu* also got a vote, and all agreed it was funny as hell. The graphic attached to it is wonderful.

And, I don't have a really good answer for him. Thanks one final time to _everyone_ for participating.

At this point we are going to move into the *MEDAL ROUND!*

*FIFTH PLACE*

5th place goes to EN World newcomer *Kubla Khan* for his excellent piece involving D&D, comedy, and a thimble full of blasphemy! 

*Jesus wept, a trap,
But saints preserve! Jesus saves,
and takes half damage*

Well done sir! And I hope you enjoy the collection of adventures from the good folks at *Guildhouse Games*


*FOURTH PLACE*

4TH place goes to EN World stalwart *Geist*, for his "Tale as Old as Time" Haiku of a doomed love destined never to be...

*I love her fireballs,
and she loves my Lightning Bolt.
To bad she's married*

We laughed ourselves sick at that one. Well done *Geist*, and I hope you enjoy your brand new copy of *D20 Rokugan*.


*THIRD PLACE*

Entrant *Radiating Gnome* came closest to actually making us think . We, in our drunken state, read and re-read his/her entry and finally _got_ . Somehow the image of a Half-Orc bard tuning his Lute in such a fashion spoke to the majority of the judges...

*Frets drip blood on snow
Critic said Half-orc bards suck.
Now My lute's in tune*

Well, done* Radiating Gnome* I hope your new pile of adventures (The third place package listed at the beginning of this thread) serve you and your group well.


*SECOND PLACE*

BAD-AXE games founder *Wulf Ratbane*'s ode to the EN Boards near-endless threads on munchkinism (and munchkins--Sorry *Henry*) struck a chord with all of the judges (and, apparently, more than a few of his competitors)

*Chaotic Neutral!
This alignment is so sweet--
Like twin scimitars!*

Well done Wulf and I hope you and your group enjoy the adventures in Prize Package two (listed in the inaugural post)

*FIRST PLACE*

First place goes to none other than _Umbragia_'s own *KDLadage*. On this the judges were unanimous. It had it all: cleverness of wordplay, D&D content, and a great twist ending on an old proverb.

*Opportunity:
without combat reflexes,
knocks but once per round*

Congratulations Kevin on being the first ever Haiku grand champion at the first ever *Teflon Billy Post-Ennie Haiku Contest* (man, I've got to pare that name down a bit). I hope you enjoy the First place prize package listed at the beginning of this thread.

All prize winners please contact me by email and tell me how you would like to go about having your stuff sent to you. Keep in mind that I¡¦m Canadian, and *UPS* has a legendarily bad history of getting anything to (or from) me in any reasonable time. I have had some luck with EN World poster *Quickbeam* who sent me a big Fedex envelope (paid) and received his stuff in 2 days.

You might want to look into that.

In any event, thanks you all for participating, I thoroughly enjoyed the 7-odd pages of Haiku, and hope you did to.

Sayonara

Jeff "Teflon Billy" Ranger


----------



## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Nov 11, 2002)

That was a LOT of fun. Thanks Teflon! 

And to you winners: Mine were better.  

 

Just Kidding!  

CONGRATS!


----------



## Rune (Nov 11, 2002)

Congratulations to the winners!  Those were some damn fine entries!


----------



## alsih2o (Nov 11, 2002)

thanks for running such a greta contest billy, but what is up with the hiccups in your post?


----------



## Nifft (Nov 11, 2002)

Your contest was great.
All had fun; therefore, all won.
Thanks, Teflon Billy!

 -- Nifft


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## Teflon Billy (Nov 11, 2002)

alsih2o said:
			
		

> *thanks for running such a greta contest billy, but what is up with the hiccups in your post? *




I suck at coding

My reach exceeded my grasp

I think it's fixed now.


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## Crothian (Nov 11, 2002)

I got Orc and Pie
No adventure is better
Postcount means nothing


----------



## Mark (Nov 11, 2002)

Congrats to all of the participants and winners!


----------



## bloodymage (Nov 11, 2002)

Thanks for hosting a very unselfish contest even if my very selfish entry didn't win, though it was unequivocally chaotic neutral!  I _must_ thank you for sparing my life. My old heart probably couldn't have taken the shock if I'd been named.   Lotsa fun T Billy!


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## Dr Midnight (Nov 12, 2002)

> If only you all had made it in under the deadline and written about a subject other than Teflon Billy's Rank Laziness (Witness Dr. Midnight's work)...




I posted a FEW haikus soon after you posted the contest, you... you...

teflon billy, what??
my d20 haiku's there
i'm not late! I'm NOT!


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## Teflon Billy (Nov 12, 2002)

Dr Midnight said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I posted a FEW haikus soon after you posted the contest, you... you...
> 
> ...




I know you did, I was talking about the post deadline ones only

Plus you were on my judges "secret List" of people who were not going to win no matter what.

Gah!..was that out loud????


----------



## Radiating Gnome (Nov 12, 2002)

Now My M F A
At long last good for something
Still, default on loans

***

Seriously, thanks for the high praise.  And the goods.  

-rg


----------



## Pielorinho (Nov 12, 2002)

Congrats to all the winners, and a hearty man-smooch to Teflon Billy for hosting the contest!  many, many laughs!

Daniel


----------



## Crothian (Nov 12, 2002)

Someone should archieve this, it is * that * good.


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## Maerdwyn (Nov 12, 2002)

Congratulations,
Prize winners! (My hard-won pie
Still makes me happy )


----------



## Wulf Ratbane (Nov 12, 2002)

*FIFTH PLACE*

_Jesus wept, a trap,
But saints preserve! Jesus saves,
and takes half damage_


*FOURTH PLACE*

_I love her fireballs,
and she loves my Lightning Bolt.
To bad she's married_


*THIRD PLACE*

_Frets drip blood on snow
Critic said Half-orc bards suck.
Now My lute's in tune_


*SECOND PLACE*

_Chaotic Neutral!
This alignment is so sweet--
Like twin scimitars!_


*FIRST PLACE*

_Opportunity:
without combat reflexes,
knocks but once per round_

----------

WOW! I am blown away to be in such good company... and honored to have fallen where I did in the rank-- they are all so good.

I am also totally surprised to have even hit the radar screen, grinning so widely from ear to ear the top of my head threatens to flip right off. I thought my entry was going to be lost in the thread, seeing as how disciplined I was about making just the one entry and getting the hell out of the way...

That's a good batch of prize swag I got there, too! Woot!

Congrats to all and thanks to everyone who made me chuckle...


Wulf


----------



## Geist (Nov 12, 2002)

WOW! this has been a great contest and I must say im somewhat surprised i made it to 4th place ^_^

Congradulations to everyone who won a prize and also to everyone that had the guts to enter and put their haiku skills on the line!

See you all next year for the competition!


----------



## Sir Trent (Nov 12, 2002)

I lost the contest,
I have but one question now,
What is a haiku?

Actually I would have been very dissapointed in Teflon Billy and his secret panel of judges/self-confidence destroyers if I had placed in the contest based on the merit of my entry. On the other hand, I thought that cash I sent would have helped my cause a little. I guess I just can't produce the bucks like the owner of Badaxe games! 
Congratulations everyone.


----------



## KDLadage (Nov 12, 2002)

Thank you all, I say!
It is an honor to be
in such company

Such fine entries, all
and I'm not sure I agree
that I am the top

But I take my bow,
thank Teflon Billy again
for a fine contest!


----------



## herald (Nov 12, 2002)

Well at least I made Honorable Mention. So close and yet so far away. 

*Congratulations to the winners!* 

Now if you don't mind I'm going to go savor my Orc and Pie!


----------



## Drew (Nov 12, 2002)

Thanks for Orc and Pie!
I did one for the deadline
the others for fun.

Seriously, though, what a fun contest. Thanks for the honorable mention, Teflon Billy! I look forward to next year's contest. (I can hope, can't I?)


----------



## Quickbeam (Nov 12, 2002)

T-Bill:
Great idea...I'm just sorry that I've been away from the Boards for too long and missed the entry deadline.  Nonetheless, I hope you have better luck mailing the winners their prizes than we had with FedEx !!


----------



## Teflon Billy (Nov 13, 2002)

OK folks

I just recieved an Email from your *FIRST ANNUAL TEFLON BILLY HAIKU BLAH BLAH BLAH ETC>* winner  *KDLadage* and it reads as follows...



> --- "K. David LADAGE" <kdladage@msn.com> wrote:
> 
> > Hello!
> >
> ...




Not only is this the single classiest thing I could imagine a first place winner doing, but it has forced me to do another round of judging!

...so stay tuned, and I (maybe with the addition of *KDLadage* to the judging comittee if he is willing) will come up with a list of lucky (and talented) runners up over the course of the next few days.


----------



## alsih2o (Nov 13, 2002)

what a class act....god i love this place


----------



## KDLadage (Nov 13, 2002)

Billy -- I'll leave the judge-ship to you.

And thanks again.


----------



## Quickbeam (Nov 13, 2002)

Does this mean I can post a belated entry?  And, BTW, that was a very cool gesture by our contest winner!!


----------



## Dendread (Nov 13, 2002)

For the 4th place winner... isn't that off by one syllable?


----------



## Agnostic Paladin (Nov 13, 2002)

Assuming you mean the first line, it would depend on how you say fire - most people seem to say it as a single syllable, and that is how the dictionary lists it. I can see how it could be considered to be two though...


----------



## Teflon Billy (Nov 14, 2002)

Where I come from Fire is a one syllable word.

Fourth place stands.


----------



## Joshua Randall (Nov 14, 2002)

Teflon Billy said:
			
		

> *First place goes to none other than Umbragia's own KDLadage. On this the judges were unanimous. It had it all: cleverness of wordplay, D&D content, and a great twist ending on an old proverb.
> 
> Opportunity:
> without combat reflexes,
> ...




I, too, attempted
Word-play on just this concept:
"Opportunity".

A D&D rule
That hardly anyone groks,
Five syllables long.

KDLadage's
Haiku is superior.
Bow to his talents.


----------



## tarchon (Nov 15, 2002)

Agnostic Paladin said:
			
		

> *Assuming you mean the first line, it would depend on how you say fire - most people seem to say it as a single syllable, and that is how the dictionary lists it. I can see how it could be considered to be two though... *




Depends on your dialect really, same with dire.  Ask yourself if dire sounds the same as dyer (a person who dyes things, which is usually listed as 2 syllables), and you'll know the answer.   In my dialect, they do indeed, but it would be totally different in, say, parts of Kentucky (where "far" and "fire" are often very close).  The key difference in most cases is in how strongly long-I is diphthongized; there's really a continuum.

Or compare hire and higher, sire and sigher.  It's fairly well known contrast  (or lack thereof) in English dialectology.


----------



## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Nov 19, 2002)

Hey! This one's not sticky anymore...

Aren't we still waiting for another round of judging? 

I guess this would be a ( wince ... )  BUMP!


----------



## Sir Trent (Nov 20, 2002)

Gee, I forgot what I was gonna say...   Oh well, I guess I'll just take this opportunity to increase my post count. 10,000, here I come!


----------



## Voadam (Nov 21, 2002)

so will the next round of winners be posted here or in a new thread?


----------

