# What can we do to make ENWorld friendlier?



## Deset Gled (Aug 6, 2004)

Some people have noticed that ENWorld isn't quite as friendly these days as it used to be.  The fact that the last thread on this subject (sorry if this thread is too similar.  I'm hoping this one is different enough to not be breaking the rules) was closed due to not being very friendly says to me that we should take a more pro-active stance on making things better.

So, what kind of suggestions do you guys have to make this place better?

My personal suggestion: allow more posts to stay on the front page of a forum.  Over time, there seems to me to be an increase in the number of threads in some of the more popular forums (I mainly stick to the Rules forum, but I think this goes for General as well).  This leads to threads being pushed off the front page (where people read them more often) quicker.  As a consequence of this, the only threads that seem to stay on the front page for a long time are the ones where people post quick, quipy, and more heated (and less thought out) replies, which makes the place seem a lot less friendly.  Pushing out threads quicker also lets less people read them (unless they check the boards very often), and stops people from getting to know other posters (especially those that don't post quite as often).  I think that this has become a larger problem since the last server update, when (IIRC) the number of posts per page was cut down to help save bandwidth.  Another solution addressing the same issue would be to open up new forums or sub-forums.


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## alsih2o (Aug 6, 2004)

Be friendly.

 Expect same.

 Rinse. Repeat.


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## WanderingMonster (Aug 7, 2004)

1.  Forum veterans: lead by example, and gently remind newcomers how things are done around here.

2.  Newcomers: Follow the rules—written and unwritten—and don't get bent out of shape when someone tries to gently point out what those rules are.

3.  Don't be hasty with the "submit reply" button.  Read it and reread it.  

4.  It's only a game.  Take a break from the forums or a thread if it makes you that mad.


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## Umbran (Aug 7, 2004)

All the most effective actions are ones in which you address your own behavior.

Lead by example.  Don't allow others to get your dander up.  If you are annoyed, don't start typing.  Understand that the text medium does not allow for inflection, and assume that if a statement couold be read two ways, the intent was the friendlier one.  

In general, follow the Golden Rule.


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## Holy Bovine (Aug 7, 2004)

Umbran said:
			
		

> All the most effective actions are ones in which you address your own behavior.
> Lead by example.  Don't allow others to get your dander up.  If you are annoyed, don't start typing.  Understand that the text medium does not allow for inflection, and assume that if a statement couold be read two ways, the intent was the friendlier one.
> 
> In general, follow the Golden Rule.





So important it needs to be repeated.

With COLOUR


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## Hand of Evil (Aug 7, 2004)

*This is a post of passion*

Use of smiles and/or disclaimers in the post.  

_Forgive me for my bluntness_ or _don't take this the wrong way_

I also think we can use message 'title' more, just say rant or mature subject or angry post or...


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## fba827 (Aug 7, 2004)

Remember that you are posting to a BOARD on the Internet, not responding to one person in a private conversation

Also, if you and one other person have been directly responding to one another's post in the same thread, chances are high that at least one of you may be taking something too personally.  Take a step back, relax, and maybe give someone else a chance (hundreds if not thousands here daily, surely someone has a similar opinion and can express it differently since your explaination the first time around did not seem to get through).


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## DaveMage (Aug 7, 2004)

Deset Gled said:
			
		

> So, what kind of suggestions do you guys have to make this place better?




Free ice cream!


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## mythusmage (Aug 7, 2004)

Stiff drinks and a sympathetic ear work wonders for me.

Or are you talking about that kind of 'friendly'?


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## Emiricol (Aug 7, 2004)

I find myself at least two or three times a day typing up a reply and then deciding it would add nothing to the conversation, would add to the problem in the first place, or would just plain result in resentments I don't need to carry around right now.

 Sometimes it's best to just let it go...

 I also tend not to read any thread that goes over 5 pages, purely because from my perspective, the vast majority of the longer threads have become too heated for my tastes and I care more about having a happy experience here than I care about contributing to a heated debate on just about anything.

 Another idea I would offer would be this: stop being dismissive of people who disagree with your opinion.  I mean, going on to some thread and saying something asinine that devalues someone else's opinion.  I mean, I understand that some opinions strike some people as being utterly worthless and devoid of any measure of common sense at all, but it adds *nothing of value* to point that out.

 Ooh, hey.  Ultimately, just treat people the way you would like to be treated, and realize that we don't care how things are done on other forums - go there for flames.  EN World, like all communities, has its own standards.  Learn them or don't post.

 ==============
*DISCLAIMER: *"You" in general, not any one in particular.  Meaning the audience, not the original poster.


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## EricNoah (Aug 7, 2004)

Another idea -- use that ignore list!  If someone consistently, persistently gets on your nerves, zap 'em.   Now, it's not polite to go around saying "Person X, Y, and Z are on my ignore list."  Just put the offender on your list and forget about him or her.


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## Berandor (Aug 7, 2004)

Yeah, but the problem with ignore lists is that you don't see any posts of that user. That means
1) posts relating to his/her posts might be senseless
2) posts relating to his/her might quote him/her, so you have to read this nonetheless
3) the user in question might make a good post/thread, and you will never know.

Now, if someone can quote my post so Eric can read it as well, I would be in his/her debt.


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## EricNoah (Aug 8, 2004)

Oh I'm not saying it's a cure-all or that it's without its problems, but it does solve one very specific problem.  (And good joke, Berandor )


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## Berandor (Aug 8, 2004)

EricNoah said:
			
		

> (And good joke, Berandor )




Yeah, well, I'm trying often enough; 1 out of 1,000 is bound to be funny by sheer luck alone 

And I just wanted to explain why I, for example, haven't used the ignore list so far. (Can I put myself on ignore, btw? That would be cool. Strange, yet strangely alluring )


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## EricNoah (Aug 8, 2004)

Hmm, that sounds like a personality problem!  (Ignoring yourself.)


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## Brother Shatterstone (Aug 8, 2004)

Berandor said:
			
		

> (Can I put myself on ignore, btw? That would be cool. Strange, yet strangely alluring )



It’s not nearly as alluring as putting your spouse on your ignore list...   

Edit: Yes I've done it.


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## johnsemlak (Aug 8, 2004)

EricNoah said:
			
		

> Another idea -- use that ignore list!  If someone consistently, persistently gets on your nerves, zap 'em.   Now, it's not polite to go around saying "Person X, Y, and Z are on my ignore list."  Just put the offender on your list and forget about him or her.



 While I'm sure this it is a handy tool sometimes, I'm not sure if promoting use of the ignore list is a good way to make EN World friendlier.  The very idea seems rather unfriendly to me.  Plus, there are the various complications Berandor mentioned.  It should be used if necessary but I certainly hope people don't need it.

I'm not sure what to suggest that hasn't been mentioned above.  I think the friendly and fair moderating is what keeps EN World a very friendly place.


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## mythusmage (Aug 8, 2004)

Small problem, try to please all and you end up pleasing none. Some people just aren't worth your time. Best to ignore them and get on with your life.


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## Psionicist (Aug 9, 2004)

If I get upset when reading something on a forum, I just read this aloud. It works!



> Is it really a good idea to ruin your day just because someone you don't know disagrees with you?


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## Ashwyn (Aug 9, 2004)

Berandor said:
			
		

> Yeah, well, I'm trying often enough; 1 out of 1,000 is bound to be funny by sheer luck alone
> 
> And I just wanted to explain why I, for example, haven't used the ignore list so far. (Can I put myself on ignore, btw? That would be cool. Strange, yet strangely alluring )





			
				ENWorld said:
			
		

> Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own ignore list.



Oh well.


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## barsoomcore (Aug 13, 2004)

Hand of Evil said:
			
		

> Use of smiles and/or disclaimers in the post: "Forgive me for my bluntness or don't take this the wrong way."



But be careful with these -- don't assume that they provide a license for rudeness: "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a jerk." -- Not really super cool.

Also, if it's possible to interpret somebody's comment in a manner such as it is insulting to you, check with the poster first that they actually meant to insult you. Often people have no idea that what they have said is offensive. Questions like, "That was really offensive to me because of blah blah blah. Did you mean to insult me like that?" are pretty helpful in avoiding the whole "You suck!" "No, you suck!" kind of debate.


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## diaglo (Aug 13, 2004)

you could always use the ignore list. i don't know if there is an upper limit on it. it sure works wonders.

sometimes tho it is funny when all the participants in a thread are ignored. it makes for a really short read. just a bunch of names with no content. which is basically the same if you weren't ignoring those particular posters.


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## kirinke (Aug 17, 2004)

hmmm. increasing the pixel limit on the avatars to 100x100. would make things alot more easier for the custom avies.

and bring anything with chocolate. Then add massive amounts of caffiene and sugar. bingo. everyone is super friendly as they bounce off the walls.   

but really. listen to erik's grandma. she knows alot.....


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## William Ronald (Aug 17, 2004)

My advice is to remember that the poster who annoys you is just as human as you are.  His experiences and opinions may differ, but they may be as valid for him as your experiences and opinions are in your own life.  A good motto is to remember don't say anything to someone which you really would not want someone to say to you.  Or to quote Aretha Franklin: "R-E-S-P-E-CT."


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## mythusmage (Aug 17, 2004)

barsoomcore said:
			
		

> Also, if it's possible to interpret somebody's comment in a manner such as it is insulting to you, check with the poster first that they actually meant to insult you.




(snip)

At the same time be aware that some people want to be insulted. No matter what you say, no matter how you say it, they will take it as a deadly insult. Put such on your IL and get on with life. H. pylori by itself causes enough ulcers.


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## diaglo (Aug 18, 2004)

mythusmage said:
			
		

> _H. pylori_ by itself causes enough ulcers.




but at least it is treatable... well it is tough to treat and takes a long time.. but still it is treatable.


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## Ferret (Aug 20, 2004)

Short qiups that don't add to the conversation aren't always as funny to others as they are to you. They can be funny but think about other before you start to giggle.


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