# Coming soon SAVAGE TIDE ADVENTURE PATH: Formerly Whom do I contact?



## DM-Rocco (Oct 23, 2006)

Whom do I contact to have someone review a page or four of a new story hour I am going to be writting?

I think it is okay to post, but want to make sure I haven't crossed a line.

I sent a copy to Morrus, but I think he might be too busy to read it.


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2006)

I think you are best off using your best judgment.  

If you think you crossed a line, then you probably did, and are better off either toning it down, or not post at all.

On the other hand, the events of campaigns can be fairly brutal and violent and deal with adult themes, and the story hour forum has generally been a little more forgiving about these things as they are in the context of a narrative.


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## BLACKDIRGE (Oct 23, 2006)

My story hours are probably some of the darkest on the board, and I regularily feature gory blow by blow accounts of combat, as well as some very adult themes. I know you have read my stuff (and I haven't received any complaints or repremands yet), so if what you want to post is around the same level of ickiness, I think you will be fine. 

BD


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 23, 2006)

el-remmen said:
			
		

> I think you are best off using your best judgment.
> 
> If you think you crossed a line, then you probably did, and are better off either toning it down, or not post at all.
> 
> On the other hand, the events of campaigns can be fairly brutal and violent and deal with adult themes, and the story hour forum has generally been a little more forgiving about these things as they are in the context of a narrative.



Well, I don't really think I personally crossed a line, but people seem to think differently than I.

On the other hand, the guidelines say to use the Grand mother rule, but my grand mother used to read Harlaquin romance novels, so anything I might write would be shy compared to that.

Anyway, I think they are a bit more forgiving in this thread too, so in the next week or two, I think I might throw it up and see how people react.

That will also give Morrus a week or two to review it if he finds time.

Thanks for the input


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 23, 2006)

BLACKDIRGE said:
			
		

> My story hours are probably some of the darkest on the board, and I regularily feature gory blow by blow accounts of combat, as well as some very adult themes. I know you have read my stuff (and I haven't received any complaints or repremands yet), so if what you want to post is around the same level of ickiness, I think you will be fine.
> 
> BD



I have read your stuff, and it is because of your tales that I felt like writting my own 

So far, I haven't got to killing anything just yet, but I am using yours as a base for what I could get away with as far as voilence.

What I was mainly concerned with was descriptions of characters and such.  I am running a few people through the Savage Tide adventure path, actually one person and she is playing a nymph.  Actually a half nymph, a full nymph was way too powerful.  She is soloing for the most part, with the aid of a few NPCs here and there.

I didn't see the problem when I started out, but now I do.  Nymphs don't really like things like clothes, so the character walks around nearly naked, but most of the time naked.  I think I handled it in the writting well enough where you know she is naked without going into a XXX rating, but on the other hand, I could see where I might cross the line, were I some people, with sexual overtones.

Hmmm,  I think when I get home I will post the first few pages here and see what people think, so check back.

Oh, 'bout time you wrote again


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## Joshua Randall (Oct 23, 2006)

The Story Hour forum can only benefit from more tales of clothing-less nymphs. Although this might offend my delicate sensibilities, that's a risk I'm willing to take.


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## Piratecat (Oct 23, 2006)

I think that if you're using your good judgment, you're probably just fine. We don't want anything here that would be a problem for kids; that means that nudity is not really a big deal, but sexual acts (soft- or hard-core porn) and things like explicit torture would be inappropriate. There's going to be violence - it's D&D! - but if you're not deliberately trying to cross lines then it's not a problem.


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## HeapThaumaturgist (Oct 23, 2006)

We'll expect no fewer than thirteen skyclad priestesses engaged in unwholesome carnal ritual congress, fourteen bushels of hewn limbs upon byres, fifteen hogsheads of bright red blood, and sixteen stone in steaming spilled entrails!

--fje


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## Ankh-Morpork Guard (Oct 23, 2006)

HeapThaumaturgist said:
			
		

> We'll expect no fewer than thirteen skyclad priestesses engaged in unwholesome carnal ritual congress, fourteen bushels of hewn limbs upon byres, fifteen hogsheads of bright red blood, and sixteen stone in steaming spilled entrails!
> 
> --fje




And while you're at it, we could use some cookies, too.


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 24, 2006)

Joshua Randall said:
			
		

> The Story Hour forum can only benefit from more tales of clothing-less nymphs. Although this might offend my delicate sensibilities, that's a risk I'm willing to take.



My thought as well      



			
				Piratecat said:
			
		

> I think that if you're using your good judgment, you're probably just fine. We don't want anything here that would be a problem for kids; that means that nudity is not really a big deal, but sexual acts (soft- or hard-core porn) and things like explicit torture would be inappropriate. There's going to be violence - it's D&D! - but if you're not deliberately trying to cross lines then it's not a problem.




This is what I need, a moderators blessings

Okay, please judge for me.  The following is a prelude or part of a short history to get to know the character who has a lack of knowledge of civilized folk.  Just a little clueless about those who are not from the wilds.  I can't see adding in any wild sex scenes, much to Joshua Randall's dismay, but a hint of tention from time to time would not exceed anything written below.

So, I guess I don't see anything wrong with the following, but please read and give a quick blessing to make me feel better, okay

It is a bit rough yet, but here it is:

SAVAGE TIDE: There is no honor - Chapter 1

Aniphastus watched the lithe silhouette of the woman with an intent eye.  He knew where she was, even when he lost visual contact with her.  His gift could detect her, he knew she was there.  She bent low, his vision lost her as she crossed in front of a twisted tree.  He followed her movement with his gift and regained the slightest bit of eye contact when her copper hair reflected in the lunar light.  She was close, and he knew where she was.

She turned her head, as if straining to hear.  Two horns gave the appearance a menacing appearance.  Menacing that is, if he didn’t know that they were not horns.  He knew what they were.  Her long swept-back ears shown like horns in the pale blue moon light.  His heart raced as he looked with longing upon her smooth skin.  She wore no clothes, he knew that too.  He outline was too smooth and flawless for clothes to mare her flesh.  Staring at her and nothing all at once, he caught himself day-dreaming.  When he looked to her again, she slowly turned her eyes upon him, as if staring through is soul.  In an instant, she dissolved into the shadows and was gone.

He panicked.

He could not see her and his gift failed  His magic, his birthright, gone.  Aniphastus Knowlern, head of Knowlern Manor, benefactor and originator of the Standing Stone Park and friend of nature was completely blind.  Five hundred year of life and for the first time, he was at a loss.  His mind raced.

He twisted his head in quick owl like movements.  He scanned his immediate surroundings.  He saw nothing.  Then, the hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up as a chill ran down his spine.  Slowly he turned his head to were he had just looked.  To were, just a minute ago, nothing but thick overgrown forest stood in solitude.  Whatever he expected to see would not see him if he made no sound.  That was his desperate hope.  Too late, she was there; she had seen him.

The deep sensuous curves  her silhouette made his heart race.  As an elf he was familiar with the charms of fey creatures, the allure of those blessed with nature’s treasures, but his heart always raced to see her.  Mere words were never enough to describe her, but people always tried.  Captivating, alluring, beautiful, exotic and dangerous were just a few of the emotions she inspired, but they never did her justice.  Her long lean figure, hard muscles over soft curves, gave her both a look of exquisite grace and powerful danger rolled up in a neat carefree package.  Long copper hair flowed down past the perfect posture of her lower back, over her curvaceous buttock and ended half way to her knees.  He tried to reach into his gift, his birthright, only to stumble over his thoughts and feet all at once.  He stared up at her from a prone position on his back.  The moonlight caught the glint in her large amber eyes.  No, not her eyes, her soul, laid bare for the world to see.  Those eyes were a window into her inner beauty.  To that, her natural good looks failed to compare.  

She had beauty undefined, and she knew it; and yet didn’t.  She held herself as one whom knew that the barest glimpse of her drove others wild with unabashed desire; yet, she was almost ignorant of that very fact.  While she had such beauty that mad men weep and women fill with rage in jealously, her carefree simplistic attitude towards others and gentle nature made her seem plain to the point of beauty. 

She was much like other elves he had know, but far surpassing in grace and eloquence.  She took a step towards him, her flawless unclothed skin made him sit upright and take notice.  It was the way she moved and did nothing at all.  The way her powerful muscles moved under soft perfect skin.  The way her perfect posture made her both menacing and alluring at the same time.  The way her hard nipples made her breast seem more firm than they were.  The way the long narrow diamond triangle of moon light cracked through her legs when she walked.   

He felt weak.

He again fumbled for his spell pouch.  He tried again to recall the arcane power flowing through his veins.  He failed to remember.  She leaned in, the moon showing her full in its bathing light.  A glint in her amber eye revealed her power and his weakness.  For all his might and all his knowledge, he was only a man; and a man has needs.  He could control such hot need.  He was above such things; or was he?  Was he not a man?  Did he not deserve a release?

She leaned in closer, her hot sweet breathe sending tremors through his body.  He could not move, yet part of his did, a part of him he could not control.  He was helpless.  His eyes where locked on hers, then her impossibly small mouth with large tempting, pouting lips.  Even though he could not move, he could feel her firm breast touch his chest as she leaned in closer still.  The sweet fragrance of jasmine filled the air and even though she only just barely touched him with her breast, he could already imagine how she would feel pressed upon his flesh.  His need for her erased his memory of everything else.  He forgot everything in that moment.  His life to this point was just a distant memory.  He was lost to this charming creature of nature.  He gave over to his need and it both scared and excited him all at once.

Her breath ignited his, her juicy lips less than an inch from his.  Then, he was deprived.  She came closer, though she didn’t touch him.  Why did she so torment him.  Please, just take me he would scream, if he could move, but he couldn’t.  She was close, close enough to feel her break the air around his cheek.  If he had facial hair, she would have touch two day old stubble yet not touch him with how close she was.  Leaning close to the still elf, she came so close to her his ear that when she exhaled, Aniphastus felt goose bumps ripple along his body.  

  Aniphastus could smell her intoxicating aroma with every inhaul.  It drove him wild.  He was beyond hope.  He was hers.

“How is that my sweet,” she whispered.  Even her voice was like a soft gift from the gods.  He was afraid to answer.  Mainly he couldn’t answer, he was too enthralled by her beauty.  If he could move however, he would be to afraid to answer her for fear the may upset her.  It drove him made.

Then, just when he thought he could not bare the pain of being with her and without her, she straightened and moved away.  Instantly he regained control of his emotions, his gift and his need.  Like a door he slammed shut the outside world and calmly stood to face her.

She looked at him, her firm breasts comfortably resting on her crossed arms, with one raised eyebrow asking the question again.

“I,” was all he could say.  Aniphastus gripped the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, trying to clear his head.  Her could hear her tapping her foot on the cold dirt floor of the jungle.  He violently shook his head, clearing the remains of his lethargy.  He looked at her again and conceded.

“Yes, you got me,” he said with a grin that was matched with his own.  Before he knew what happened, she was in his arms, her perfect breast crushed against him.  Just yesterday he would not have gave it a second thought.  Today, she had touched him like never before.  Today, she had made him as helpless as a babbling human.  Today, he viewed her differently.  It was all he could do to hold in his need.  He gently pushed her away.

“Here, I have something for you,” he said in a fatherly tone.  Looking through his many pouches, he finally found the one he wanted and handed it to her.  It was no bigger than a coin purse with a long thin gold chain.  She looked at it with great enthusiasm.  

“I love it,” she screamed, but when she started to twined the chain into her long locks of hair, he knew she didn’t understand.  He waited for her to finish.  In a matter of minutes she had her hair set up in a tight bun with a few stray hairs framing her face.  Aniphastus at that moment thought she could roll in human sewage and she would still look desirable.  

“Tadda,” she said with a sly smile, “but what is this pouch for?”

“No dear one,” he said, “while that is certainly an, um, interesting choice, allow me to show you how this works.”  He gently undid the gold chain from her hair and showed her the pouch again. 

“Just think of what you want and if you put it in the pouch, it will appear,”  to prove his point he concentrated on some mistletoe and then pulled forth a sprig from the pouch.  Her eyes went wide.

“How did you do that,” she asked, “is that the magic you speak of?”

“Yes,” he replied as he put back the mistletoe, “now, concentrate on a small brown package.

She took the bag from him and did as he instructed.  In a moment she pulled forth an impossibly large package for the opening of the hole of the pouch.  Her big bright amber eyes went impossibly wide as well.  She had been given a few gifts in the past.  It was not something that her family did, but humans and elves had odd customs.  She ripped open the package with vigor.

Inside was a sheer veil of cloth.  It shimmered in the light but for as sheer as it was, she might as well have been naked.  That didn’t matter though, she was always naked.  That is the way nature birthed her, that is the way she lived.  She had often told Aniphastus that if she was meant to wear clothes, she would have been born with them.  She looked at the gift and frowned.

“Go ahead, try it on.”

She had learned that it wasn’t the gift that mattered, it was the thought behind the gift that counted.  She took the veil and wrapped it about her.  Instantly, it vanished.  Distantly she could feel it, or at least she knew it was there, but it didn’t confine her in the way that other clothing items did.  

“I designed it to move with you but still offer protection.  It is imbued with all four of the elements,”  as if on queue thin wispy mists blanketed her flawless skin.  It formed around her like a skin forming gown.  Then the mist turned into earth and dust, taking the form of skin tight leather.  The second skin outfit sparked and burst into flames, making her copper hair seem as if it was alive with the fire.  The flames licked her breasts and groin.  Then the flames died down and steamed away into water.  The water constantly dripped from her, distorting her figure, yet never touching the ground.  Aniphastus drew a dagger and approached her.

“See how the elements deflect the blade,”  he said as he ran the blade across her skin.  Where the blade made contact the elements gathered in that location and stiffened, turning the blade away.  He withdrew the blade and the elements faded into nothingness, leaving the illusion of her nudity again. 

“You can call forth the elements to cover you when you have a need,” he said.  She gave him a questioning eyebrow.  He knew how mush she hated wearing clothes, even if this barely qualified. 

“Like when we go to Sasserine.”

He thought he was going to have to knock her out to get her off of him.

“Really, you mean it?  You are going to take me to Sasserine?  The port city.  Oh, I can’t wait.  I love the forest, and Figment, really I do, but the city.  I can’t wait.  When can we go?  Can I take figment with me?”

“Yes, you can take figment with you too, but you will have to wear at least some clothing.  I know how you hate clothes, but trust me, at least some will save me from saving your honor.”

“Honor,” she tried the foreign word on her tongue, “what is that?”  It never failed to amaze him how little she knew of the out side world.

“That is a discussion for another time,“  he said, “for now, gather your things and let us depart.  Your mother and sister will be missing you.  It will take us all of tomorrow and most of the night before we reach your home.  Then we have a full three days ride before we reach Sasserine.”

She hugged him again and then handed her the small pouch.

“You keep it,” he said, “it is part of the gift.  I can’t see you wearing clothes and a huge traveling pack, but you will have need of things and you will have to place them somewhere.  The pouch will hold as much as a large chest.”  When she frowned and didn’t understand, he told her about six of these, and he sowed her his heavy pack.  Her eyes went wide again, unable to believe her luck.  

“The veil has other uses too, but we will get into that later, for now, the moon is still giving us light.  Let us travel.”

She gathered he pouch and strapped the thin gold chain around her waste. The thin chain and tiny pouch made her more alluring, if that was possible.  When she tried out a few different elemental outfits, Aniphastus thought that even though she was clothed in a fashion, he thought it might be a mistake.  Somehow, the elements framed her features in such a way that he felt his need rising again.  It was all he could do to maintain control.


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 24, 2006)

HeapThaumaturgist said:
			
		

> We'll expect no fewer than thirteen skyclad priestesses engaged in unwholesome carnal ritual congress, fourteen bushels of hewn limbs upon byres, fifteen hogsheads of bright red blood, and sixteen stone in steaming spilled entrails!
> 
> --fje



Um, I'll try to work that in    



			
				Ankh-Morpork Guard said:
			
		

> And while you're at it, we could use some cookies, too.



Mmmh, cookies


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## el-remmen (Oct 24, 2006)

DM-Rocco said:
			
		

> This is what I need, a moderators blessings




Um, I thought was what I gave you. . .


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## el-remmen (Oct 24, 2006)

Oh, and cool stuff. . . a few typos I caught, but I am curious about the nature of the relationship between the two characters. . .

Oh, and I would have liked a description of the man? elf?


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## Morrus (Oct 24, 2006)

DM-Rocco, I got your email and I read it - the reason I hasn't replied yet is because, to be honest, I was wavering on it (just one one or two little bits of it).  But, re-reading it, it seems fairly harmless to me.

I appreciate your asking in advance.


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## the Jester (Oct 24, 2006)

To be perfectly frank, I've had more explicit sexual situations in my story hours than prolly anyone else here (at least as far as I know).  From the infamous "killer whale incident" to the "alternative methods for interrogating a troll", I've usually tried to keep them humorous.  It seems to keep people from getting all in a twit.

By the same token, I try hard not to cross the line, and there are plenty of things that I have edited out of the story hours for purposes of "keepin it clean(ish)", but if it's important to the story, it generally stays in.

Aha!  I think that's the secret!  Here's the Jester's rule of thumb for naughty bits in story hours: *If your SH's naughty bits are integral to the story rather than being superfluous, they're prolly ok to post so long as you don't get too explicit.*


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## Aurora (Oct 24, 2006)

Nicely done. Of course, if your SH stays on the same track, you could probably send it to one of those trashy romance novel publishers   (Just teasing ya) A lot of grammar and spelling errors. Re-read it, correct those errors, and start a new thread, cause I know I'll keep reading it


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 24, 2006)

Morrus said:
			
		

> DM-Rocco, I got your email and I read it - the reason I hasn't replied yet is because, to be honest, I was wavering on it (just one one or two little bits of it).  But, re-reading it, it seems fairly harmless to me.
> 
> I appreciate your asking in advance.



Thanks for getting back to me.  I just figured you were busy, I wasn't trying to go around you or anything.

I didn't think I went to far or anything either, but it is always best to check first.

Don't worry though, I won't get nuts and take anything over your current wavering point.  I just wanted to create some sexual tension.  I think I did    

Thanks again.


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 24, 2006)

el-remmen said:
			
		

> Oh, and cool stuff. . . a few typos I caught, but I am curious about the nature of the relationship between the two characters. . .
> 
> Oh, and I would have liked a description of the man? elf?




The man is an elf, he is an NPC from the books that I thought fit well into this role and I also suspect that in future parts of the adventure the Dungeon team will place him in a more prodominate role.

As to typos, yeah, I get them and it is hard for me to always catch them myself.  What I posted was rough, I knew I needed to review it before really sending it out, and I will go over it a bit more when I have time.

On the other side of the coin, I love feed back, feel free to point out typos since I miss them from time to time.  Although, I would prefer you send a PM about those.  It helps keep the illusion that I know what I am doing


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 24, 2006)

the Jester said:
			
		

> To be perfectly frank, I've had more explicit sexual situations in my story hours than prolly anyone else here (at least as far as I know).  From the infamous "killer whale incident" to the "alternative methods for interrogating a troll", I've usually tried to keep them humorous.  It seems to keep people from getting all in a twit.
> 
> By the same token, I try hard not to cross the line, and there are plenty of things that I have edited out of the story hours for purposes of "keepin it clean(ish)", but if it's important to the story, it generally stays in.
> 
> Aha!  I think that's the secret!  Here's the Jester's rule of thumb for naughty bits in story hours: *If your SH's naughty bits are integral to the story rather than being superfluous, they're prolly ok to post so long as you don't get too explicit.*



killer whale incident, I'm not sure I want to know    

That too makes me feel better.



			
				Aurora said:
			
		

> Nicely done. Of course, if your SH stays on the same track, you could probably send it to one of those trashy romance novel publishers   (Just teasing ya) A lot of grammar and spelling errors. Re-read it, correct those errors, and start a new thread, cause I know I'll keep reading it



Yeah, I know, it is rough.  I do intend to re-read it though.
As to the comment about trashy novels, well, my grandmother would approve    

Good to hear you will continue to read.  I tried one story hour called Lizard Bait, which I never really finished.  Well, I have a begining and an end (and editied versions of each that I have yet to post), but not the middle (see the link in my signature).  You might enjoy that until I find time to commit to this one full time.

I am remodeling the house and should be done in a few weeks.  Then I can go hog wild on writting.  I was planning to keep up with the Adventure Path, but that is proving hard because lack of time with the remodel.

Anyway, I think I have an interesting character and it should be a good read.  Stay tuned for more.

...And always, feed back is welcome.


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 28, 2006)

For those interested, I updated the Lizard Bait story hour.  I was waiting until I got the middle written, but I really am into writting the story hour for Savage Tide right now.  Anyway, a friend of mine, Jessica Babcock, went through Lizard Bait and corrected the grammer that I just couldn't see.  Sadly, she hates fantasy, so I can't tap that resource again, but it benfited my last story.

As a bonus, Lizard Bait features the ending story, which I actually wrote first and only later started on the prequel.  I'm really proud of it, and I hope you enjoy.

Savage Tide is coming along and I will post a link here to the new thread once I get things cleaned up.  Err, or as cleaned up as I can     :\


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## DM-Rocco (Oct 30, 2006)

Thanks for the interest everyone, here is the new thread for my adventure path: Savage Tides


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