# The Untold Adventures of Fap Longwood & Friends!



## mikeawmids (May 29, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #1 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Having decided to seek his fortune as an adventurer, Fap Longwood (half-elf ranger) leaves his hometown and travels to the city of Nerverwinter. He hears that Gundren Rockseeker (dwarf prospector) is hiring heroes to escort a wagon of mining equipment to the frontier town of Phandalin. Fap meets with Gundren and his human bodyguard Sildar at a bustling tavern. He is hired, along with three other aspiring heroes; Horatio Hornstone (dwarf fighter), Mara Lemonrock (halfling wizard) and Brian Blessedbeard (dwarf cleric).

The next morning, Fap and his new companions assemble at the city gates. Gundren and Sildar ride ahead, telling the party they will meet up again in Phandalin. The heroes follow in creaking wagon hauled by a pair of fat, flatulent oxen. The journey is uneventful - until a few miles short of their destination, they find the road ahead blocked by a pair of dead, arrow-riddled horses. One of the beasts looks familiar and Mara remembers seeing it being ridden by their new employer.

*“This is goblin mischief!”* Horatio growls, after examining the black-feathered arrows.

Three goblins jump out of the bushes beside the road and attack! Fap is caught off guard and gets jabbed by a goblin blade! Rolling away from his diminutive assailant, Fap pulls the bloody dagger from his leg and throws it back at the goblin, killing it outright! Mara incinerates the second goblin with a fire bolt and Brian calls sacred flame down upon the third attacker.

Goblin tracks lead away from the road. The heroes hide the wagon and follow the trail. Fap takes the lead and spots a snare hidden amidst the deadfall covering the ground. The party skirt around the trap. He does not spot the next trap and nearly falls headfirst into a deep pit, only his half-elven agility saves him from a nasty tumble.

The tracks lead toward a cave entrance. A shallow stream emerges from the dark opening. Fap spots another two goblins malingering nearby. He tries to sneak up on them, but trips over an exposed root and falls flat on his face, alerting the guards. Fap picks himself up and shoots one of the two goblins dead before it can raise the alarm. Mara burns the other to ash with her magic.

The party take a short rest before exploring the goblin cave.

The heroes advance to level 2!


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## mikeawmids (May 29, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #2 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The heroes enter Cragmaw Caverns to rescue their new boss. Mara is the only member of the party who cannot see in the dark, so she stumbles ahead blindly, clinging to Brian’s arm. Fap and Horatio take the lead.

Three wolves are chained to a big rock near the entrance. They cannot reach the heroes and the goblins don’t respond to their howling, so the party ignore the beasts and move along.

Ahead, a single sentry perches atop a rocky ledge, 10ft higher than the tunnel floor. The goblin is happily picking his nose and eating what he finds up there. Horatio interrupts his feast by shooting him in the head.

The party reach a junction; the smell of smoke and burning meat wafts from the western tunnel, the sound of rushing water echoes from the eastern passage. The party head east, hoping the waterfall will mask the sound of their approach.

An underground river feeds a large, dark pool. Two goblins watch a third, who is trying to snatch fish out of the water with his bare hands. He gets one! Unimpressed by this feat of dexterity, the heroes attack! Mara casts a spell so she can see what she’s doing, the goblins cry out and swat at the dancing lights.

The sound of combat draws reinforcements from an adjacent chamber; a hulking bugbear and his pet wolf join the fray, flanked by a pair of goblin archers.

Brian explodes the wolf with a Guiding Bolt. Horatio interposes himself between the cleric and the bereaved bugbear. Mara casts Burning Hands, sculpting the spell to avoid damaging the dwarven fighter. One unfortunate goblin is caught in the cone of fire and reduced to ash. The bugbear is smoked, but still standing.

*“Good work!”* Fap congratulates the halfling mage. He spots one of the goblin marksman taking aim at the little wizard, “*Mara, look out!”*

His warning comes too late, Mara is shot in the back and falls down, unconscious and dying!

Fap returns fire and the kills the goblin sniper. Realising the tide of battle has turned against him, the bugbear retreats. Horatio goes after him, slips on the fish the goblin caught earlier and falls into the pool. Fortunately, the water is not too deep and he clambers out, wet and angry. Unfortunately, the bugbear has made good his escape.

Brian stabilizes Mara and the party take a short rest. Searching the bugbear’s lair, the heroes find a modest amount of treasure and a couple of healing potions. There is also a stack of stolen goods stamped with the trade seal of the Lionshield Coster.

The party return to the junction and explore the western tunnel. Four goblins cavort around a smoky fire and two more sit astride a bound human prisoner. It is Sildar Hallwinter, Gundren’s (apparently unsuccessful) bodyguard!

Mara casts Burning Hands, taking out half the goblins around the fire! One of the other goblins holds a blade to Sildar’s throat and starts screeching in a language none of the heroes comprehend. Mara casts Colour Spray, blinding the hostage taker, who drops his knife and covers his eyes.

The heroes finish off the goblins and release Sildar. The bodyguard confirms that he and Gundren were ambushed on the road to Phandalin. He was hit on the head and woke up in this cave, he does not know what happened to his charge, although he heard the goblins talking about a ruined castle to the north.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 2, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #3 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Sadly, it seems the heroes’ employer is literally in another castle!

The party exit the cave system and complete the journey to Phandalin. Two dozen modest homesteads stand amidst the tumbled ruins of a bygone age. Mara makes a mental note to examine the ancient stonework when she gets the chance. Gundren and Sildar had made reservations to share a room at the Stonehill Inn, so the party head there first. Fap tosses a handful of copper to some children playing in the street and asks them to keep an eye on the wagon while the party freshen up. After arranging their lodgings, the heroes convene in the common room and discuss their next move over a flagon of ale.

Sildar reveals that he is a member of the Lords Alliance. He explains that while he did take the contract to guard Gundren on the road, the real reason he came to Phandalin was to track down a renegade nobleman called Iarno Albrek. Sildar is prepared to reward the heroes for any information leading to the wastrel’s capture.

The innkeeper warns the party to steer clear of the Redbrands, a gang of thugs who have been stirring up trouble in town. They are easily identifiable by the red armour they all wear, supposedly stained that colour by blood. Horatio snorts into his ale, sending foam everywhere.

*“Sounds like a right bunch of arseholes!”* he laughs.

Brian asks if the town is facing any other problems that a group of well-intentioned heroes could resolve.

*“I think you meant to say ‘well compensated’,”* Horatio adds helpfully.

Apparently, there are rumours of an orc raiding party roaming the Triboar Trail. The heroes agree to deal with the orcs, should their paths cross.

One of the youths Fap paid to watch the wagon rushes into the common room.

*“Oi! Elf-Ears! Some blokes are nicking your stuff!”*

The heroes head outside and interrupt four human thugs in the process of hijacking their unattended wagon. All four men are wearing red armour.

*“Get off our wagon!”* Horatio roars.

*“I think you're mistaken, stranger,”* one of the Redbrand thugs replies with an unpleasant smirk, *“This is our wagon, aint’ that right lads? Unless you want trouble, best you lot were moving on.”

“Perhaps we can sort this out over a round of drinks…?” *Brian suggests, but his attempt at diplomacy is undermined when Horatio takes a swing at the nearest robber.

Unfortunately, he misses and slaps one of the two oxen still hitched up to the wagon on the rump. The beast bellows and begins to move forward, dragging the wagon. The two Redbrand thugs standing in the wagon lose their balance and tumble to the ground. The runaway wagon begins to pick up speed – it is bearing down on an old woman s-l-o-w-l-y crossing the street, oblivious to her impending doom!

Fap runs after the runaway wagon, leaps onto the driver’s bench and tries – unsuccessfully – to slow the beasts. Mara casts Magic Missile, targeting three of the wagon’s four wheel and blasting them to flinders. The wagon grinds to a halt and the old lady is saved!

It swiftly dawns on the Redbrands that they have picked a fight above their weight and the ruffians disengage. The heroes let them go with a stern warning. A grizzled old man approaches the group, introducing himself as Daran Edermath (retired adventurer).

*“The Redbrands are easily startled,”* he says, *“But they will be back – and in greater numbers.”*

Daran offers to hide the party in his orchard. The heroes don’t want to abandon their wagon in the street, but with only one wheel, it’s not going anywhere. Daran reassures the heroes that even if the Redbrands do abscond with their provisions, they will surely take the ill-gotten goods to their headquarters in the ruin of Tresendar Manor. Sildar opts to remain in town and keep an eye on things there, since the Redbrands did not see him and the heroes together.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 2, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #4 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The party make camp behind a hill on the edge of Daran Edermath’s land, where the roaming Redbrands won’t find them.

*“Why are you helping us?”* Fap asks the old man.

*“Like you, I was an adventurer, back in my youth,”* Daran explains, *“I was a member of the Order of the Gauntlet. It doesn’t sit right with me, how those Redbrand ruffians run roughshod over the good people of this town. I figure you lot might be of a mind to do something about that.”*

Daran adds that one of his neighbours was murdered by the gang. He stood up the Redbrands outside the Sleeping Giant taproom, after the thugs started harassing his pretty young wife and was straight up butchered for his trouble. Townmaster Westen is a coward and will not act for fear of violent retaliation from the gang.

Daran knows the leader of the Redbrands is a wizard calling himself Glasstaff.

The heroes decide that the Redbrands need to be taken down a peg or three. At dusk, they march on the Sleeping Giant. Having jumped to the conclusion that the strangers must have left town, six Redbrand thugs are getting drunk inside. Every so often, one of the (increasingly intoxicated) robbers staggers outside to use the facilities (i.e: the back wall of the building). Against Horatio’s wishes to kick open the front door, the heroes lurk outside and pick the Redbrands off one at a time. When two men emerge simultaneously, Mara drops them both with a Sleep spell. The last two thugs drink themselves into a stupor, saving Mara a spell slot. The party truss up their captives and tie them to the trunk of a large apple tree in Daran’s orchard, where the old adventurer will babysit, a heavy crossbow resting across his lap.

It is nearing midnight as Fap Longwood and friends march on Tresendar Manor.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 2, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #5 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The ruins of a large, derelict house lie still and silent, the moon’s pale light casting long shadows across the rubble-strewn grounds. Stone stairs descend into the cellar, where boxes and barrels of stolen goods are stacked haphazardly around a cistern brimming with grey, oily water. Mara’s eyes alight on a sack of rosy red apples and she pops one into her pocket. Battling injustice is hungry work!

Fap and Horatio take the lead and press on through a doorway in the north wall. They walk over a trapdoor and fall into a 10ft pit. Brian lowers a rope and hauls them back up. Mara spots a narrow ledge skirting the length of the pit and the party edge across carefully.

The party enter a crypt, where three skeletons have been propped up against their dusty sarcophagi. There are two obvious exits on the opposite side of the tomb, but approaching them triggers the skeletons to rise up and attack! Brian channels the light of Ilmater to turn undead. The skeletons cower fearfully, their old bones rattling with fear and the rest of the party put them to rest – permanently this time.

The first door is locked and the party don’t have the key, nor the means to pick the lock. The second door opens into a prison, where a frightened woman and her two young children have been left to languish in a small, dirty cell. A ring of keys hangs by the door and Fap releases the prisoners. The woman is Mirna Drendar, wife of Daran’s murdered neighbour. The children are all that remain of her family.

The heroes escort the civilians out of the dungeon. Brian and Horatio give the children piggyback rides across the pit. They leave the family with Sildar at the Stonehill Inn, while they return to the manor to hunt down Glasstaff and what’s left of his criminal enterprise.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 2, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #6 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Other than the locked door adjacent to the prison, the party can discern no other way to proceed. Horatio and Brian fall back on their dwarven stonecunning and find a secret door disguised to match the surrounding brickwork. The door opens into a large underground cavern beneath the foundations of the manor, divided by a deep, dark fissure in the rock. Two arched wooden bridges span the chasm. The area is unlit and there are no Redbrands in sight. Warily, Fap and Horatio approach the edge.

*“Maybe you should hang back,”* Horatio suggests, laying a hand on Fap’s arm, *“You do have a habit of falling into almost every hole we come across….”*

Fap shrugs the dwarf’s hand away and steps up to the lip of the crevasse. He has the unsettling impression of being observed from the darkness below. Was that a large green eye staring up at him, or did he imagine it…? Fap starts to feel a little wobbly and Horatio reaches up to steady him, uncharacteristic concern etched across his battle-scarred features.

_“You didn’t leave your hometown to be an adventurer…”_ a soft voice whispers in Fap’s head, _“You were driven out by your kin…. You are a liar and a thief….

“And a murderer….”_

*“My backstory!!”* Fap cries, reeling away from the pit, *“Who are you? How do you know that?”

“Who are you talking to, lad?” *Horatio asks, raising his sword *“Is there someone down there?”*

The dwarven fighter snatches Mara’s torch and tosses it into the hole. The bottom of the fissure is choked with bones! A gaunt humanoid figure draped in filthy rags recoils from the light. The creature has a single, large eyeball set above a mouth filled with toothy fangs!  It hisses and scuttles into the dark.

*“A cyclops?”* Horatio hazards, *“Never fought a cyclops before. Should be a laugh.”

“A nothic.”* Mara corrects him, *“A spellcaster corrupted by their hunger for arcane lore. Pitiful really, but still quite dangerous.”*

Brian notices one of the skeletons is clutching a glowing longsword. The two dwarves climb down to get it, while Fap and Mara provide ranged support. There is no sign of the nothic, but Brian keeps watch while Horatio prises the sword from the cold, dead fingers of its previous owner. The hilt and crossguard have been crafted in the likeness of a hawk with its wings outstretched. As the primary damage dealer in the party, Horatio claims the blade. There is also a battered chest half-buried beneath the bones, containing treasure, potions and scrolls.

The nothic sees the two dwarves grubbing through its modest hoard and subjects Horatio to its rotting gaze. An arrow whistles passed and hits the cyclopean creature in the eye! The nothic shrieks and flees along the floor of the ravine, pursued by the two dwarves. They follow the trail of milky eye goo to a cave mouth overlooking the woods around Phandalin. Unfortunately, the wounded nothic is nowhere to be found.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 2, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #7 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The heroes continue to explore the Redbrand’s hideout. The door ahead stands ajar and raised voices can be heard from the other side. Fap peeks in and sees a drunken goblin dancing on a table, cheered by three appreciative bugbears. One of the bugbears has a large iron key hooked on his belt. Remembering the locked door near the prison, Fap reaches for the key….

*“Oi!!”* the keybearer yells, slapping Fap’s hand away, *“Who are you then?”*

The bugbears jump up, knocking over the table and sending the surprised goblin cartwheeling across the room.

*“I’m the dwarf who’s gonna’ slice off your nethers!”* Horatio roars, barging passed Fap and swinging his new sword at the closest enemy.

Two bugbears gang up on Horatio and knock him down. The third exits via a different door and circles round to flank the party. Brian heals Horatio, who rises groggily and re-joins the fray.

The third bugbear creeps around the corner and catches Mara unaware, bringing its maul down atop her skull with a sickening crunch. Mara’s eyes go blank as she falls to the ground, blood pooling around her head. Her silver-rimmed spectacles go flying across the room.

The heroes defeat the bugbears. Brian heals Mara and hands over her glasses, miraculously unbroken during the fight. Horatio waves the cleric away and quaffs a potion instead. Fap lifts the iron key from the dead bugbear’s belt.

Horatio grabs the drunk goblin and slaps him sober. None of the heroes speak goblin, fortunately the goblin speaks a bit of Common. His name is Droop and he was sent (with the bugbears) by King Grol to reinforce the Redbrands. King Grol can be found in a ruined castle to the north and is allied to someone (or something?) called the Black Spider. Since Droop claims he can lead them to the goblin king’s castle, the party let him live – for now. Fap ties Droop to a chair. The party plan to collect him later, after dealing with Glasstaff.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 2, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #8 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The party enter what appears to be a wizard’s workshop; half library, half laboratory. Shelves bulge with dog-eared tomes of arcane formula and glass beakers bubble over with angry froth. A single rat scurries across the floor and squeezes beneath a door on the other side of the workroom. There is no sign of Glassstaff, although the wizard must be close. The party advance cautiously, careful not to disturb the arcane apparatus.

The door opens into a bed chamber draped with rich scarlet cloth, furnished with a comfortable bed and small writing desk. A smouldering pipe lies on the carpet beside the desk, dropped in haste and abandoned.

*“Glasstaff was just here!”* Fap says with surety, *“He must have known we were coming for him and fled.”

“But how?”* Horatio asks, *“There's nowhere for him to go! Some spell perhaps?”*

Fap spots the same rat from before, scurrying behind the drapes. Grabbing the crimson cloth, he pulls the heavy curtain off the wall, revealing a hidden door into a storeroom packed with the Redbrand’s ill-gotten gains. The storeroom door opens into the large cavern where the party encountered the nothic. Fap spots a bearded man hustling toward the exit. Fap raises his bow and takes a shot, hoping to bring the man down or at least hobble his escape. His aim is true, but his target is protected by a magical shield that deflects the arrow’s flight. Glasstaff pauses long enough to flip Fap the bird, before breaking line of sight.

Meanwhile, Brian and Mara search the wizard’s quarters for clues. The desk contains correspondence from the Black Spider, addressed to _‘Lord Albrek – or Glasstaff, as you style yourself these days’_. The letter proves the Black Spider orchestrated the abduction of Gundren Rockseeker to secure a map in the prospector’s possession.

*“Sildar will want to see this.”* Mara says, slipping the letter into her pocket.

Unfortunately, Glassstaff has escaped. When the heroes go to collect Droop, they find the goblin has slipped his bonds and fled also. The party have ended the Redbrand menace, but are no closer to finding their missing employer. The heroes return to town and advance to level 3!


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## mikeawmids (Jun 3, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #9 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Mara hands Sildar the letter proving that Glasstaff is the rogue noble he is hunting. Sildar summons aid from the Lord’s Alliance to deliver the captive Redbrands to Neverwinter, where they will stand trial for their crimes. Townmaster Harbin Westen awards the party 200gp for breaking the gang’s hold over Phandalin and offers an additional reward if they eliminate the orc marauders along the Triboar Trail.

The owner of the Stonehill Inn offers Mirna Drendar and her children free room and board until they are back on their feet. The young widow does not have much money, but she tells Fap where to find a family heirloom hidden in the forsaken village of Thundertree. Fap turns down the offer of compensation, but promises to return her mother’s necklace, should his travels take him so far north.

Impressed by how efficiently the party ended the Redbrand menace, Daran Edermath asks them to look into strange sightings at the ruins of Old Owl Well.

The heroes accept his quest and follow the Triboar Trail east toward the ruin, looking for signs of the orc raiding party along the way. They come across a burnt-out farmstead, the charred remains of the family that lived there huddled inside where they burnt to death. Fap finds tracks left by a half dozen orcs… and something bigger. Quietly, the heroes bury the bodies and Brian utters a prayer to Ilmater, tears streaking down his whiskery cheeks.

The party spend the night in the barn, unaware that is occupied by a swarm of blood-thirsty stirges. The hungry critters descend from the rafters, but are quickly exterminated.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 3, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #10 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The heroes spend the next day following the orc’s trail further into the wilderness.

*“Might be we can kill two birds with the one stone,”* Horatio says hopefully, noting they are still on course for Old Owl Well.

The party make camp and the night passes uneventfully. The next morning, the orc tracks swing south, toward the barren foothills of Wyvern Tor. After climbing for several hours, the trail ends at the mouth of a dark and uninviting tunnel. A single orc stands watch, scraping a whetstone along the killing edge of his monstrous axe.

Fap nocks an arrow to his bowstring and takes a deep, steadying breath, hoping he can neutralise the sentry in a single shot. His arrow takes the orc in the shoulder, spinning him around, but failing to kill outright. The orc roars in alarm and the rest of his war band charge screaming from the tunnel. Half the orcs lob their javelins, the rest charge into melee. They are lead by a particularly large and fearsome brute called Brughor Axe-Biter. Bringing up the rear is a huge, stupid-looking ogre, dragging a massive club.

Horatio charges the ogre, but Brughor moves to intercept him.

*“Dwarf!! I’ll cut off your beard and use it to wipe my arse!!”* the orc chieftain bellows.

Brian targets the ogre with Guiding Bolt, but misses his mark. The ogre turns sluggishly and lumbers toward him. Flames dancing between her fingers, Mara projects a cone of fire into the ogre’s dumb face. It panics and spins in place, howling like a child. Brian steps forward and swings his warhammer into the brute’s leg, shattering the kneecap as though it were made of eggshell. Unable to support its weight, the ogre goes down like a felled tree.

*“Gog want to live!!”* the ogre pleads.

Brian hesitates, but only for an instant. He remembers standing over a shallow grave behind a burnt-out farmstead, the salty tang of tears on his tongue.

*“You don’t deserve to live.”* Brian answers, bringing the hammer down on the ogre’s skull.

The party cut down the orcs, leaving no survivors. They find the war band’s plunder stashed in the cave, including three vials of smelly perfume which the ogre could have benefited from. Horatio beheads the dead orcs and throws their severed heads into a sack, which he will present to Townmaster Westen as proof that the marauders shall maraud no more.

The party make camp atop Wyvern Tor, to recover health and spell slots, before investigating Old Owl Well upon the morrow.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 3, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #11 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Old Owl Well turns out to be a fallen watch tower overlooking the Triboar Trail and surrounding lands. A large, colourful tent has been erected amidst the ruins and the stench of decay wafts upon the morning breeze. The smell gets less and less bearable as the heroes approach the tower.

*“Pass me the orc smellies.”* Fap asks.

Horatio proffers the sack of heads. They stink.

*“Not those.”* Fap snaps.

After dousing a scrap of cloth in perfume and tying it around his face, Fap scouts ahead. A dozen rotting corpses have been packed into the tower like sardines in a tin. Big black flies crawl over their waxy flesh. Unlike most dead bodies Fap has seen since the start of his adventuring career (and there have been a few), these lively fellows are still shuffling around aimlessly.

*“Blurk!”* Fap groans. He heads back to warn his friends about the zombies.

The party plan to advance within 30ft of the tower, pause for Brian to implore his deity to turn undead, then mop up any stragglers who don’t get the message. Mara produces a Scroll of Fireball and reads aloud the words of power inscribed upon the parchment. There is a deafening explosion and charred zombie bits rain down from the sky. Embers fall upon the roof of the pavilion and the colourful canvas catches fire.

A tattooed man in crimson robes bursts out of the burning tent. Mara recognises from the strange markings on his skin that this man is a Red Wizard, a powerful order of Magi from the distant land of Thay. Brian doesn’t care – this guy is clearly a necromancer and Brian _hates_ necromancers!

*“What is the meaning of this?”* the Red Wizard shouts, *“You burn my house, disturb my research and attack my servants? Vandals!! Delinquents!!”*

The magi commands his zombie minions to stand down and extinguishes the burning tent with a Cone of Cold. His name is Hamun Kost and he is researching ancient lore amidst the ruins of Old Owl Well.

*“My servants and I are not hurting anyone.”* Kost argues, *“I had some trouble with a mob of truculent orcs, but I will deal with them myself should they return.”

“Too late.”* Horatio says, producing the sack of heads.

Kost offers to buy the contents of the sack for 100gp but Brian vetoes the deal. He really hates necromancers and all that they stand for!

Kost offers the party a magical Ring of Protection if they assist his research. He wants them to act as mediators between himself and a “hysterical” banshee haunting the abandoned village of Conyberry. He needs information in the ghost’s possession, but his last attempt to compel her compliance ended badly. Kost wants the name of the wizard who raised the tower at Old Owl Well and will surrender the ring if the party come back with that information.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 4, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #12 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Since the heroes are only a days’ travel from Conyberry, they decide to go there and commune with the “hysterical” spirit of Agatha the hedge witch. Brian is not wild about helping a necromancer, but the rest of the party really want the magic ring that’s on the table – even _if_ that table is littered with bones.

_Meanwhile, Klaarg Wolf-Eyes (the escaped bugbear from the Cragmaw Caverns) is leading a band of four hobgoblins south to negotiate an alliance between King Grol and Warchief Brughor Axe-Biter – unaware that Brughor’s severed head is bouncing around in a sack.

Klaarg is scouting ahead when he spots the heroes making camp. He immediately recognises the scarred dwarf who humiliated him in battle. Anger bubbles like black bile in the back of Klaarg’s throat, as the vengeful bugbear plots his revenge…._

In the heroes’ camp, Fap and Mara are taking the first six hour watch. Mara casts _Darkvision_ on herself so that she can actually see. Fap detects movement in the long grass about 60ft away and spots the giveaway glint of bared steel.

*“Attack!”* Fap cries, raising his bow, *“We’re under attack!”*

Abandoning stealth, Klaarg charges forward, while the hobgoblins hang back and ready their longbows. Fap takes a shot at the approaching bugbear - but Klaarg keeps on coming, the arrow barely slows him down. Horatio runs to intercept and inflicts a pair of grievous injuries with his new +1 sword. Klaarg has a moment to reflect on the old monster saying that '_a goblinoid who seeks vengeance on a dwarf should maybe just dig their own grave and save everyone some time’_, before he succumbs to his wounds and dies unceremoniously.

Mara lights up the night with a barrage of _Magic Missiles_, targeting the hobgoblin snipers. The archers focus fire on the wizard and she is hit twice for serious damage. Mara drops prone, where the long grass will obscure the hobgoblin’s aim. Unable to target the spellcaster, the hobgoblins switch targets. Brian retaliates with Guiding Bolt, exploding an archer. The remaining three hobgoblins withdraw into the night, covering their retreat with a volley of arrows.

Fap searches Klaarg’s body and finds the missive from King Grol to Warchief Axe-Biter. Horatio hacks off the bugbear’s head and adds it to the sack.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 4, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #13 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

At dawn, the party continue north toward Conyberry. Fap spots fresh, humanoid tracks and follows them to find the three surviving hobgoblins from the aborted raid on their camp the previous night. Two wounded hobgoblins are resting, while the third keeps watch.

Two arrows hit the lone sentry in quick succession and he falls silently. The two sleepers barely stir as their comrade expires beside them. They are rudely awoken when Horatio tosses Klaarg’s head amongst their bedrolls. Bereft of their weapons and armour, the injured hobgoblins surrender. Playing a hunch, Brian suggests that the prisoners can be traded back to King Grol in exchange for the dwarf captive held at Cragmaw Castle. The hobgoblins mark the castle’s location on the party’s map.

*“Still room in the sack for a few more heads,”* Horatio cautions the two prisoners, *“Best that you lads behave yourself, if you catch my meaning.”*

The heroes reach Conyberry at midday. The silent village is certainly spooky enough, but there is no sight nor sound of Kost’s banshee. Fap does find an overgrown track leading into Neverwinter Wood. The track leads up to the door of a lonely cottage amidst the trees, abandoned by man and mostly reclaimed by nature. The air grows bitterly cold as the party cross the threshold and the spectre of an elven maid materialises before them, her otherwise beautiful features contorted with hatred.

*“Foolish mortals,”* she shrieks, *“What do you want here? Do you not know that it is death to seek me out?”*

The party look to Brian, who crossed his arms and stays stubbornly silent. Horatio glowers at the cleric, then clears his throat. He butters the banshee up as best he can before broaching Kost’s query.

*“The name you seek is Arthindol,”* Agatha answers, *“Now begone from my home!”*

The party don’t need to be told twice. They return to Old Owl Well and relay their findings to the Red Wizard. True to his word, Kost relinquishes his Ring of Protection (+1 AC and all saving rolls).

*“You will be glad to hear I have been summoned back to Thay,”* Kost says, as the heroes bicker over who will wear the ring, *“My servants and I will be gone from this land within the week. If you are ever in Thay, feel free not to look me up.”*


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## mikeawmids (Jun 4, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #14 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The party return to Phandalin. The journey is uneventful.

Horatio presents the sack of decomposing heads to Townmaster Westen, who is promptly sick. Once he feels better, the townmaster counts out another 100 gold.

Brian explains the events at Old Owl Well to Daran Edermath and reassures the old man that the necromancer has abandoned the ruin. Daran is impressed and offers to make Brian a Chevall of the Order of the Gauntlet. Brian accepts and Daran drafts his letter of recommendation to the Paladins of Tyr.

The party go shopping! Fap upgrades to studded leather and buys a second shortsword. Horatio buys a suit of splintmail. Mara tops up her store of spell components and Brian considers buying a breastplate before concluding it offers no mechanical advantage over scalemail.

The heroes’ next move is to scout Cragmaw Castle and open negotiations with King Grol, hoping they can trade their two hobgoblin prisoners for Gundren Rockseeker.

(We calculated XP during downtime and the party are over halfway to level 4.)


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## mikeawmids (Jun 4, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #15 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Cragmaw Castle is a large, ruined fortress deep within Neverwinter Wood. The crumbling keep is surrounded by seven towers in varying states of disrepair.

Mara pens the proposed exchange of hostages, stating that the party will wait outside Cragmaw Cavern until dusk the following day. Fap ties the scroll around the shaft of an arrow and fires it into the front gate. A terrified looking goblin is ushered out of the castle to collect the message.

The heroes retreat to the rendezvous point to prepare for the goblinoid delegation. They barricade the cave mouth and pull back behind the barrier. Mara works out that the tunnel can be flooded by destroying the stone dam in the waterfall chamber.

One hour before sunset, three hobgoblins and a hooded prisoner approach the barricade. The hood is removed, revealing the haggard face of Gundren Rockseeker. Surprisingly, the exchange goes as planned and the hobgoblins leave with their injured comrades.

*“Are you alright?”* Brian asks after checking Gundren’s wounds, most of which are the superficial scars left by ineffectual goblin torture.

*“I’ve been better,”* Gundren grunts, *“What happened to Sildar?”

“He’s waiting for you in Phandalin,” *Fap says.

*“How much did Sildar tell you?”* Gundren asks, *“Did he tell you about the map?”

“Not much. We found out about the map from Glasstaff.”

“Have you seen it?” *Gundren asks, *“Have you seen the map?”

“No,” *Horatio says, *“We thought you had it.”

“It was taken from me,” *Gundren replies, *“But don’t worry, I committed it to memory!”*


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## mikeawmids (Jun 5, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #16 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

The heroes return to Phandalin and gather in the Stonehill Inn to celebrate the successful rescue of their patron. Fap dances with Mirna Drendar and her children while the two dwarves engage in a friendly drinking contest. Even Mara lets her hair down a little, indulging in a glass of weak shandy as she annotates her spellbook. Despite the jubilant atmosphere, Gundren seems troubled and pulls Sildar aside for a private conversation in their room.

Fap is curious about what they might have to whisper about and creeps up after them to eavesdrop. He presses his ear to the door, but hears nothing. He peeks through the keyhole but sees nothing. Fap notices that his knees are damp and looks down. He is kneeling in a puddle of blood, spreading from beneath the door!

Fap raises the alarm. Brian and Horatio put their shoulders together to break down the door to Sildar’s room. Sildar lies dead on the floor, his throat slashed open from ear to ear. A scrap of parchment depicting a large black spider has been pinned to the bed with a dagger. There is no sign of Gundren Rockseeker.

The window is open and Fap vaults through, landing in the street. He finds footprints leading away from the crime scene, but after turning a corner, the tracks change into something else midstride. Fap can’t understand this phenomenon, but after showing the tracks to Mara, she simply states;

*“Shapechanger.”*


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## mikeawmids (Jun 8, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #17 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Infuriated by how easily they were tricked into welcoming a shapechanging assassin into their midst – and the tragic consequences of that oversight – the party return to Cragmaw Castle and this time they are out for blood. They arrive at dawn and Fap picks the lock on the postern gate.

Horatio kicks down the door to what turns out to have once been a banquet hall. Eight goblins – including Droop - scamper around a long table laden with filthy dishes and half-eaten food. The goblins stage a half-hearted resistance before turning tail. Two goblins flee through the northern doors, forgetting the tripwire strung across the floor. There is a loud crash as they are both crushed beneath a pile of heavy rubble, completely blocking that exit.

The party pursue the fleeing goblins through the ruined castle. After clearing several rooms and passage ways, they enter a neglected chapel to Lathander, abandoned and rededicated to Maglubiyet (a goblin deity). Brian is enraged by this desecration!

Three goblins pop up from behind the blood-stained altar, catching the party by surprise. Two goblin acolytes attack with ceremonial daggers, while the cleric of Maglubiyet hangs back, imploring its wretched god to smite the infidels. Mara’s _Firebolt_ hits him in the chest and he flies back, trailing smoke. Spitting curses, the goblin cleric retaliates with _Sacred Flame_. Brian stomps passed the befouled altar and breaks the cleric’s head open like an egg. Fap and Horatio take out the two acolytes.

Brian finds a few holy relics discarded amidst the rubble of the fallen chapel and takes custody of the items until they can be rehomed or the altar re-consecrated.
The party push through a thick curtain to the south and enter a long, dark hallway. Fap senses movement up ahead and shouts a warning, moments before a horrible octopus-snake-monster-thing erupts from the shadows, slithering toward the party, maw agape. The creature tries (and fails) to grapple Fap, then Horatio chops it in half.

The party continue forward and find two hobgoblin veterans guarding the door to King Grol’s audience chamber. The party kill the guards and kick open the door. The room beyond is carpeted with thick animal furs and the walls are hung with gristly trophies of the King’s former conquests. King Grol, an old – but still physically intimidating – bugbear patriarch sits atop his makeshift throne, flanked by a pair of vicious looking wolves. An unconscious dwarf lies in the corner of the room, secured to the floor by a length of rusty chain.

King Grol barks a command and his savage pets lunge to attack! The wolves attack Fap and Horatio, inflicting damage but failing to knock either hero prone. King Grol pulls a javelin off the wall and hurls it at the half-elf ranger/rogue. Fap spins aside (Matrix-style) and avoids the missile by a hairs-breadth. Brian invokes the might of Ilmater and smites the King with _Guiding Bolt_. King Grol literally pulls the rug from under Fap’s feet, knocking the half-elf prone. Seizing his advantage, the King moves forward and clobbers the dazed ranger for massive damage, reducing Fap to a single point of health. Mara casts _Burning Hands_, driving the King and his pets back before they can finish the job. One wolf is killed and cremated in the same instant. Horatio puts the second beast down. Fap crawls away and Brian moves in to stop the King going after his wounded companion. King Grol wallops the dwarven cleric! Mara casts _Magic Missile_. Four bolts of arcane force hammer into King Grol’s chest, driving the life from his body. Horatio hacks off the King’s head and hangs it on the wall above the throne.

*“Very nice. Very tasteful.”* Fap remarks, *“If this dungeoneering lark doesn’t pan out, you can always pursue a career in home décor.”*

Fap draws a bead on the unconscious dwarf and Horatio nudges the figure (none too gently) with the toe of his boot.

*“No… No more! I told you everything I know!”* the figure moans.

Brian casts _Zone of Truth_, centred on what does appear to Gundren Rockseeker – but the party have made that mistake before and they aren’t planning to repeat it. 

The interrogation begins!

*“Who are you?”

“Gundren Rockseeker.”

“Are you sure you’re not a shapechanger pretending to be Gundren Rockseeker?”

“What?! No!! I mean, no I’m not a bloody shapechanger!”

“Do you know what happened to Sildar Hallwinter?”

“We were ambushed by goblins on the road to Phandalin. He was knocked unconscious.”

“What did the Black Spider want with you?”

“My brothers and I found the lost Spell Forge of Phandelver in a place called Wave Echo Cave. The Black Spider seeks to control the power of the forge and twist it to his own ends. He stole my map so he could find the forge, but he’s not been able to activate it. His goblin allies have been torturing me for information about how it works.”

“Do you know how to activate the Spell Forge?”

“No. Not yet. My brothers, Tharden and Nundro stayed behind to study the forge while I returned to Neverwinter for supplies. Nundro is a smart lad, I’m sure he’ll have worked it out by now. Oh! I hope they’re OK!”

“So what does this Spell Forge actually do?”

“In a bygone age, masters of artifice and the arcane would gather in Phandelver and craft magical weapons and armour, using the Spell Forge to seal the magic into the steel.”*

The party are convinced that this is the real Gundren Rockseeker and break his chains. They break the news of Sildar’s murder, at the hands of a shapeshifting assassin wearing his face. Gundren is furious and insists on joining the party on the quest to Wave Echo Cave, to rescue his brothers and avenge his friend.

The party advance to level 4!


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## mikeawmids (Jun 8, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #18 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Wave Echo Cave is in the foothills of the Sword Mountains, less than a day’s travel east of Phandalin. As the heroes are leaving town, they are intercepted by Daran Edermath. Seeing the heroes in action has rekindled his adventuring spirit and the old man has come out of retirement for one last quest. The heroes are only to happy to have him along, watching their back. Fap notices Daran has switched his heavy crossbow for a nondescript shortsword, but thinks nothing of it.

The dungeon entrance leads into a large cavern supported by a pillar of natural rock. A thunderous boom sounds deeper within the complex, shaking the ground.

*“What was that?”* Fap asks, after the earth settles.

*“They don’t call this place Wave Echo Cave for nothing,”* Gundren answers.

The party find the remnants of an abandoned campsite in the shadow of the stone pillar. A dead dwarf lies among the abandoned supplies, staring up at the cavern roof.

*“Tharden!”* Gundren wails, cradling the body. *“My brother… Noooooo!!”*

Tharden’s Boots of Springing and Striding are still on his feet. Horatio literally squeezes into a pair of dead man’s (magical) shoes.

To distract Gundren from his grief, the heroes ask him to lead them to the Spell Forge. The party enter a tunnel decorated with scenes of dwarven and gnomish miners hard at work. Skeletons in rusted armour litter the ground. There are several long dead dwarves, but most are orcs, distinguishable by their thick, brutish skulls.

The party hear flapping as a swarm of stirges detach from the ceiling and attack! Mara casts _Burning Hands_ and four smouldering bodies drop out of the air. One of the bloodsucking bugs latches onto Mara’s neck and starting to drink. Horatio pulls it off and crushes it in his palm. The stirge explodes like an over-ripe tomato.

Fap sees a door up ahead and peeks inside. Three ghouls squat in the middle of a miner’s barracks, crunching on a pile of brittle bones. The treacherous hinges squeal loudly, alerting the undead. The ghouls leap up, eager to dine on fresh meat! The narrow tunnel filters the ghouls toward the party in single file. Horatio moves to the forefront to meet them. Rancid claws rake along the surface of his shield. Fap shoots over the fighter’s head. One ghoul gets through Horatio’s defence and scratches at his face. Horatio feels the numbing taint of the ghoul’s poison, but resists the effect.

Once the ghouls have been defeated, the party search the barracks. They find nothing of interest and move on. Gundren leads them into a large cavern separated by wide stone steps. Hundreds of skeletons litter the ground, suggesting this was where the fighting for Phandelver was fiercest. Another seven ghouls pick through the bones. Brian presents his holy symbol, turning two of the creatures. The other five attack! Horatio is clawed again and this time he fails his CON save and is paralysed! The ghouls begin eating him alive! The battle is tough, but the heroes overcome the undead.

The next area the party enter is dominated by an enormous blast furnace, a dark mountain of silent metal. Nearby carts are laden with coal and unrefined ore mined from the depths of the mountain. Bodies litter the floor around the engine. Floating above the furnace is a flying skull, wreathed in eldritch fire. Eight of the bodies rise up and shuffle toward the heroes. The Flame Skull cackles and casts _Fire Ball_, carelessly incinerating two of its own allies and grievously injuring both dwarves. Fap places his _Hunter Mark_ on the skull and then crits on his attack roll! He inflicts 23 damage - reduced by half due to the skull’s resistance to piercing weapons. Brian hits the skull with _Guiding Bolt_ and Mara follows up with _Magic Missile_, blowing the skull apart! The party demolish the remaining zombies.

*“The forge is just through here!”* Gundren cries, running ahead.

An eerie green flame flickers atop a small brazier in the centre of the room. Above the forge hovers a strange guardian with four eyestalks protruding from its spherical body.

*“Hello!”* the monster says cheerfully.


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## Goonalan (Jun 8, 2020)

mikeawmids said:


> The Adventures of Fap Longwood #16 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)
> 
> The heroes return to Phandalin and gather in the Stonehill Inn to celebrate the successful rescue of their patron. Fap dances with Mirna Drendar and her children while the two dwarves engage in a friendly drinking contest. Even Mara lets her hair down a little, indulging in a glass of weak shandy as she annotates her spellbook. Despite the jubilant atmosphere, Gundren seems troubled and pulls Sildar aside for a private conversation in their room.
> 
> ...




Oh. That's really good- kudos for pulling this stunt.

Cheers goonalan


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## Goonalan (Jun 8, 2020)

Great story hour, and I'm really liking the style, can I ask questions?

Like how many sessions is this?
Are you VTT or tabletop (pre-meltdown)?
Is the game ongoing?
Have you finished Lost Mines?

I have other questions, sorry- I'll back off if you're disinclined.

Great work regardless, kudos. Keep it up.

Cheers goonalan


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## mikeawmids (Jun 8, 2020)

Goonalan said:


> Great story hour, and I'm really liking the style, can I ask questions?
> 
> Like how many sessions is this?
> Are you VTT or tabletop (pre-meltdown)?
> ...




Thanks for the likes, it really motivates me to keep writing! 

At this point in the story, we're about 8/9 sessions in. We're playing tabletop at home, I'm fortunate enough to game with my immediate family.

The game is ongoing. We've just hit level 5 and wrapped up Lost Mines, the plan is to slide into Tyranny of Dragons and see how we get on versus Tiamat. I'm planning to let the group steam-roll chapter one as written (and see how having a party of level 5 characters effects certain encounters), skip chapters 2 & 3 entirely, then pick up the campaign with the road trip in chapter four.

Your questions and feedback are always welcome! Thanks for reading!


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## mikeawmids (Jun 9, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #19 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

*“Er… Hello.”* Fap says uncertainly, *“What’s your name then?”

“Steve. Steve the Spectator. Nice to meet you!”

“Er… Nice to meet you too….”

“How can I help you today?”* Steve asks, *“Are you lost? You look kind of lost.”

“We’re looking for the Forge of Spells.”* Fap says, glancing from the Spectator to the flickering green flame.

*“You’ve found it!”* Steve says, *“It’s my solemn duty to guard the forge from intruders. I don’t know if you know this, but we had some trouble with orcs a while back! You’re not orcs, are you?”

“Er… No.”

“That’s great! I would have had to kill you if you were!”

“How long have you been here?”* Mara asks.

*“Oh… ages!!”* Steve says, *“It’s been quite dull actually.”

“Would you like to take a wee break?”* Brian suggests, *“We can watch the forge for a few minutes if you need to freshen up, or something.”

“Oh no! I’m not falling for that again!!”* Steve cries. The Spectator attacks!

Brian jumps up and tags the Spectator with _Inflict Wounds_. Mara casts _Sleep_ and Steve sinks to the ground, snoring gently. Horatio gingerly picks up the slumbering horror and rolls it into an adjacent chamber. Mara casts _Arcane Lock_ to seal it inside, possibly forever.

Poor Steve.

The party quietly examine the Spell Forge and find two remarkable items; _Lightbringer_ (+1 mace that glows on command and inflicts +1d6 while glowing), and _Dragonguard_ (+1 breastplate that bestows advantage to resist draconic breath weapons). Brian claims both the mace and the armour.

The heroes take a short rest inside the forge chamber. After a while, they can hear Steve bouncing around inside the adjacent room. It doesn’t look like he can get out.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 9, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #20 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Somewhat recovered, the party delve ever deeper into Wave Echo Cave. The heroes have secured the Forge of Spells, but have yet to encounter the Black Spider. The fate of Gundren’s youngest brother (Nundro) is still undetermined.

The incessant crashing of waves grows louder as the party move further north. The tunnel terminates at a narrow ledge overlooking a vast underground lake. Although there is no tide, some seismic phenomenon replicates the effects of waves crashing against the cliff face. The heroes carefully traverse the rocky ledge to reach a tunnel mouth in the western wall.

The cavern ahead is divided by a deep ravine. A shallow stream flows along the bottom of the rift. Two bugbears are splashing about in the water, supervised by a third bugbear and what appears to be a drow.

*“The Black Spider!”* Gundren growls through clenched teeth.

Fap cast _Hunters Mark_ on the dark elf and takes careful aim at his prey. Apparently he was not careful enough, as his shot misses the target and alarms the enemy.

Horatio uses his new boots to spring across the ravine in a single bound and charges toward the drow. The dark elf steps back and commands her bugbear bodyguard to kill the dwarf.

Fap moves forward to get a better angle on the bugbears in the stream. The ledge beneath his feet crumbles and Fap tumbles into the ravine. One of the bugbears tries to cave his head in with a rock. Brian slides into the rift and smites the bugbear with Lightbringer. Blinded by the radiant glow, the bugbear falls prone in the stream. Brian splashes in after it to finish the job and the water runs red with bugbear blood.

Fap raises his bow and takes another shot at the dark elf. This one crits and does a ridiculous amount of damage (1d8 base weapon damage, plus 1d6 for _Hunters Mark_, plus 1d6 sneak attack damage, plus 1d8 for colossus slayer x2 for Critical Hit, plus 3 dexterity modifier = 35 damage). The drow is killed! The body transforms into a smooth, skinned, featureless grey humanoid; a Doppleganger!

Mara notices that Daran appears upset by the death of the shapechanger. The old adventurer brushes off her questions. Mara is suspicious.

*“Come on!”* Daran urges, *“The real Black Spider must be close!”

“Wait,” *Mara says, *“How can we be sure that you are really you?”

“What?! Of course I’m really me!” *Daran protests.

*“Who is the current leader of the Order of the Gauntlet?”* Brian asks.

*“We don’t have time for this!”* Daran argues, *“The Black Spider - ”

“Can wait.” *Brian says, *“Answer the question.”

“I… I… er….”

“Doppleganger!!” *Mara cries, throwing a _Firebolt_ into Daran’s face.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 10, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #21 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Not-Daran flees along a long, straight corridor. Horatio’s new boots enable him to give chase. The passage ends at a pair of heavy stone doors.

*“Master!!”* Not-Daran shrieks, *“The heroes of Phandalin are here!!”

“Heroes of Phandalin,”* Fap muses, *“I like the sound of that!”*

Hoaratio cuts the doppleganger down and the body sprawls across the threshold of the Black Spider’s lair; a long room lined with stone columns, watched over by the statue of an enthroned dwarf, precious emeralds sparkling where his eyes should be. A makeshift workshop has been set up in the centre of the chamber, stacked high with scrolls and tomes of arcane lore. Two brawny bugbears loom protectively to either side of a robed and hooded dark elf. The drow carries a staff capped with the likeness of a large, black spider.

*“It seems I must end deal with you myself,”* the dark elf grumbles, *“A pity it must end this way.”*

The two bugbears crack their hairy knuckles and move forward to engage the party, while the Black Spider casts _Invisibility_ on himself and simply disappears. Brian sends the first bodyguard to bugbear hell with a gout of _Sacred Flame_, while Fap shoots the second bugbear in the face. Mara casts _Detect Magic_ to locate the invisible drow. She notes that the statue of the back of the room is also emitting a faint magical aura.

*“Tell me where he is!”* Horatio shouts.

*“There!”* Mara cries, pointing.

Horatio can’t see anything, but he trusts the wizard and swings Talon as directed. There is a flash of light as the blade bounces off a magical _Shield_. The Black Spider becomes visible to cast _Magic Missile_, spreading the damage out evenly across the party. Brian retaliates with _Guiding Bolt_, which penetrates the dark elf’s shield.

*“Defend me, my children of the webbed cradle!”* the Black Spider cries out.

Four giant spiders drop from the ceiling and attack! Horatio is bitten twice and suffers additional poison damage. Horatio chugs a health potion. The third spider shoots a glob of sticky webbing at Brian and the fourth weaves a barrier between two pillars, separating Fap and Mara from the two dwarves. Fap produces a torch from his explorer’s pack and burns away the webbing. Mara moves up and casts _Burning Hands_, hitting the Black Spider and two of his eight-legged offspring. A spider springs on top of the little wizard and starts wrapping her up in an adhesive cocoon. Fap draws back his bowstring and puts an arrow through the Black Spider’s eye. The dark elf topples backward, his spider staff clattering to the floor. The giant spiders spasm as their master expires, then scuttle away from whence they came.

Fap cuts Mara out of her cocoon and the little wizard claims the Staff of the Spider (10x charges, able to cast Spider Climb [1 charge] and Web [2 charges]). She ties colourful ribbons to each of the spider’s legs to make the staff a little less sinister. The party raid the Black Spider’s treasure cache. They also find Nundro Rockseeker locked in an adjacent chamber. Gundren is overjoyed to be reunited with his one surviving brother.

The party return to Phandalin, having slain the Black Spider and saved the town from his wicked machinations. The heroes advance to level 5 and enjoy some well deserved downtime!

(The players tallied up the party treasure and calculated they have a pot of 1457 gold to play with.)


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## mikeawmids (Jun 10, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #22 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

Several weeks have passed since the heroes defeated the Black Spider….

Brian and Horatio have started to clear the ruins of Cragmaw Castle, planning to restore and renovate the keep as a headquarters for the _Heroes of Phandalin_. In memory of their late friend, they have renamed the castle Hallwinter Hold.

Meanwhile, Mara works alongside the brothers Rockseeker to rekindle the Forge of Spells. Combining the dwarves skill with metal and Mara’s skill with spells, they are able to craft the first (of many) magical weapons, a +1 longbow which Mara gifts to Fap (the only party member without a magical weapon).

Fap spends a lot of time with Mirna Drendar and the two hit it off in a big way. There are a few raised eyebrows around town, as folk see the young window stepping out with the dashing adventurer. Fap makes plans to visit the abandoned village of Thundertree to recover Mirna’s mother’s necklace, but he has heard rumours of dragon sightings in the area….

The _Heroes of Phandalin_ re-unite to travel to Thundertree, recover Ma Drendar’s lost necklace and maybe slay a dragon….


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## mikeawmids (Jun 10, 2020)

Loose Ends & Deleted Scenes

_The Fate of Glasstaff:_ After the heroes chased him out of the Redbrand Hideout, Glasstaff hid in the ruins of Tresendar Manor, waiting for the party to leave so he could sneak back in and recover his research notes. The party noticed his tracks and chased him through the woods until he cast Invisibility and Misty Step to lose them.

A few days later (while the party were fighting the orcs at Wyvern Tor), Glasstaff snuck back into the hideout and was ambushed by the blind nothic while crossing the chasm. Glasstaff’s body now lies among the skeletons at the bottom of the ravine and the nothic has claimed his magical staff.

_Orc Attack:_ On their way to Cragmaw Castle, the party were ambushed by a group of four orc scouts, who had missed the massacre at Wyvern Tor and tracked the party back to Phandalin. The party wiped the floor with the opposition and I didn’t include this encounter in the write-up as it didn’t really contribute to the overall narrative.

_Sildar Hallwinter:_ Agents of the Lord’s Alliance collect Sildar’s body and return it to Neverwinter, where efforts are made to return the dead man to life.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 15, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #23 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The party arrive in Thundertree three days later. An overgrown road winds between dilapidated buildings, choked with thorny weeds. A partially collapsed stone tower squats atop a forested rise overlooking the abandoned village. It is eerily quiet, even the birds and the beasts of Neverwinter Wood avoid this place. A warning sign has been nailed to a post on the edge of the town, reading;

_DANGER! DRAGON! TURN BACK NOW!_

Fap and Mara exchange apprehensive glances, whilst Horatio chuckles in anticipation of encountering such a terrible adversary.

The party are on the lookout for Ma Drendar’s old herbalist shop, where a valuable emerald necklace lies hidden beneath the floorboards. Instead, they encounter a group of masked cultists hauling a heavy chest through the ruins of Thundertree. The cultists don’t notice the heroes noticing them and the party quietly join the curious procession as it moves toward the fallen tower.

*“Oh great and formidable Venomfang!”* cries the cult spokesperson, as the others deposit the heavy chest upon the ground, *“We offer tribute to your majesty and deliver an offer of allegiance with the Masters of the Dragon Cult.”*

A young green dragon emerges from the top of the ruined tower, extending its long, serpentine neck to investigate the contents of the chest. The cultists lift the lid and the party see the gleam of treasure reflected in the dragon’s avaricious gaze.

*“Our master, Severin Silrajin is raising an army of dragons to conquer all of these Forgotten Realms. When he heard of the mighty Venomfang, he knew he needed you at his side and dispatched us to broker an alliance.
“Even now, our forces march on the Greenfields and the town of Greenest. Join us in the destruction of their pitiful town and claim your share of the glory!”

“This sounds bad.” *Fap mutters.

*“Never slain me a dragon.” *Horatio adds, sliding Talon from its scabbard.

*“We have to stop this.” *Mara agrees.

The heroes edge forward, hoping to catch the cultists and their draconic ally by surprise. Unfortunately, the big lizard senses them creeping around.

*“WHO ELSE IS WITH YOU?”* the dragon roars, *“I SMELL DWARVES, SKULKING IN THE SHADOWS!”

“No-one, great Venomfang!”* the cultists protest, *“We came alone!”*

Since their cover is blown, the party abandon all pretence of stealth and Mara initiates combat with her new third level offensive spell _Lightning Bolt_. She catches two cultists and the dragon in the beam, killing the humans and injuring Venomfang. The cultists rush to defend their draconic ally, leaving one man to guard the offering. Two cultists gang up on Mara and slash at her robes with barbed scimitars. Venomfang exhales a cloud of poison gas over the two dwarves, happily they both enjoy a racial resilience to poison. Fap drops his _Hunters Mark_ on the dragon and opens fire. Horatio has no means of attacking the dragon from the ground, so he focuses on thinning out the number of masked fanatics running around.

Mara casts _Lightning Bolt_ a second time. Venomfang lands beside her and snaps Mara up in his jaws! Her soft Halfling flesh is ripped and town by the dragon’s fangs and she suffers additional damage from his acidic saliva! Venomfang shakes the little wizard like a ragdoll then casts her limp body aside. Mara is unconscious and dying!

The party concentrate fire on the dragon, it retaliates with another cone of poisonous breath. Two of the dragon cultists are caught in the cloud and collapse, choking on the deadly gas. The dragon scrambles up the exterior wall of the tower, knocking over the chest and spilling gold across the ground. Horatio switches to his crossbow and fires up at the dragon, somehow managing to such a huge, obvious target.

*“I really need to practise with this thing!”* Horatio grumbles to himself.

Having been reduced to 41hp, Venomfang takes wing and flies away, to fight again another day. Seeing their draconic ally abandon its lair, the surviving dragon cultists beat a hasty retreat. Brian heals Mara, then the party loot the dragon’s hoard and gather up all the scattered coins from the cult offering (770 gold, Scrolls of Lightning Bolt & Misty Step and a +1 dwarven battleaxe called Hew that automatically deals max damage against plant monsters). Nobody really wants the axe, so it will eventually make its way into the parties’ armoury at Hallwinter Hold.

The party realise they have a responsibility to travel to Neverwinter and warn someone about the imminent dragon attacks in the Greenfields. Fap digs up his girlfriend’s necklace, hoping that he will get the chance to return it to her in person some day. Brian casts _Sending_ to communicate with his mentor Daran Edermath in Phandalin.

_EVERYONE SAFE STOP GOING TO GREENEST TO THWART DRAGON CULT STOP FAP SAYS TELL MIRNA HE FOUND NECKLACE AND MISSES HER ALREADY STOP SEE YOU SOON STOP_


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## mikeawmids (Jun 15, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #24 (Tyranny of Dragons)

It will take weeks - if not months - to travel from Neverwinter to Greenest (south-east of Baldur’s Gate).The party seek aid from the Lord’s Alliance and are surprised to learn that their old friend Sildar Hallwinter has been raised from the dead to resume his duties. Sildar will vouch for the heroes, but his superiors aren’t willing to exhaust the resources required to teleport the entire group to the Greenfields without the party doing something for them first.

One of the Alliance’s agents, a woman called Dagny, has been captured by goblinoid marauders squatting in the old usurper’s tower on the edge of Neverwinter Wood. Dagny is in possession of confidential intelligence that must not fall into the wrong hands. If the heroes rescue Dagny from her captors, the Lord’s Alliance will provide magical transit to Greenest.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 15, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #25 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The usurper’s tower was once part of a larger fortress, now only a solitary finger of stone remains, occupied by an ogre warlord and his band of bugbear brigands. The tower is 30ft tall and has a single entrance on the ground floor. Two sharp-eyed bugbears armed with longbows keep watch from the roof.

Under the cover of darkness, Fap and Horatio attempt to scale the exterior wall of the tower. The sentries hear something and peer over the edge of the roof, just as the two heroes reach the top. Horatio grabs the bugbear looming above him and pulls him off the roof. The bugbear plummets 30ft but survives the fall, albeit with two broken legs. Brian trundles over to put the crippled goblinoid out of its misery.

Horatio pulls himself up onto the roof and is immediately attacked by a giant vulture! Mara casts _Misty Step_ and appears on the roof of the tower. She follows up with _Burning Hands_ and barbeques the giant vulture into hot wings. Horatio cuts down the second bugbear.

A trapdoor in the roof opens and a third bugbear pops his head up. Horatio lifts the cauldron of boiling oil (that the sentries/DM had forgotten to pour over the party) and upends it over the trapdoor.

Brian scales the tower and joins the others on the roof. Fap abseils down the wall and uses the arrow slits to peek into the next room. Inside, three bugbears and a wild-eyed goblin shaman are waiting to dogpile the first person through the trapdoor. Fap braces his legs against the mossy stonework and shoots into the room, killing the goblin. As the bugbears look around in confusion, the trapdoor opens and Horatio drops into the room.

*“I love it when a plan comes together!”* Fap congratulates himself.

Horatio and Brian make short work of the remaining brigands. The party continue to descend, eventually reaching the subterranean oubliette, dimly illuminated by a smoky brazier. Shelves of torture paraphernalia line the walls, along with four manacled humans – one of which must be Dagny. Ogre Warlord Gragmir oversees the interrogation of the prisoners.

The heroes drop into the dungeon. Gragmir swings for Horatio and accidentally topples the brazier, plunging the area into darkness. Brian invokes the name of Ilmater and Lightbringer bursts into light, driving the ogre back. Gragmir trips over one of his slain assistants and becomes tangled in a curtain of chains dangling from the ceiling. The more the ogre struggles, the more tightly bound he becomes.

*“I surrender!”* the warlord shouts.

*“I don’t care!”* Fap answers, firing a half-dozen arrows in quick succession, transforming the helpless ogre into a pincushion.

Ignoring the dead warlord dangling amongst the rusty chains, the heroes release Dagny and the four surviving members of her company. A poorly hidden sack contains Gragmir’s treasure; a small fortune in loose change, a pouch of precious moonstones, two potions of Greater Healing and a Helm of Comprehend Languages (claimed by Mara).


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## mikeawmids (Jun 15, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #26 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The heroes escort Dagny and her companions back to Neverwinter, where the Lord’s Alliance hold up their end of the bargain and teleport the party to Greenest. Troubled by the possibility of an invasion of the Greenlands by agents of the Dragon Cult, the newly resurrected Sildar Hallwinter will accompany them.

The heroes are teleported to a warzone! Greenest is ablaze! Masked figures plunder burning homes and a huge, winged terror wheels through the smoke above the town! Seven kobolds terrorise a helpless human family. The kobolds are surprised as the heroes materialise out of thin air. Fap and Mara are too disorientated from their first experience of inter-dimensional travel to do much of anything other than feel sick, but the two dwarves leap into action.

The party quickly dispatch the kobolds and save the grateful family, who were heading for the stone keep in the centre of town. The heroes escort them the rest of the way. As the party approach the keep, they see the Dragon Cult attacking the gate. There are eight cultists and seven kobolds (one of which can fly) battling the defenders. The heroes carve a path through the cult forces, killing most of the opposition outright but also managing to grab a couple of prisoners. The gates slam shut behind them and the party grab a moment of respite, before being introduced to Escobert the Red, castellan of the keep. Escobert escorts them up to the battlements to meet Governor Nighthill. The defenders know the Dragon Cult forces sacking Greenest are led by a masked magi in purple robes. Perhaps the parties’ prisoners can reveal more, but before they can be interrogated, a seven foot tall dragonborn warrior approaches the keep.

*“Defenders of Greenest!”* the dragonborn yells up at the walls, *“This has been a successful night and I – Langdedrosa Cyanwrath – am feeling generous!
“Do you see these pitiful prisoners? We have no use for them so I will trade them back to you. Send out your best warrior to fight me and you can have these wretches in exchange.”

“I should go down there.” *Escobert says, though his slumped shoulders betray a lack of enthusiasm for what will certainly be a fight to his death.

*“Nah, I got this.”* Horatio says, cracking his knuckles.

*“But you don’t owe this town anything,”* Governor Nighthill gasps, *“Why would you risk your life for us?”

“We’re the Heroes of Phandalin,” *Fap answers, *“This is what we do.”*


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## mikeawmids (Jun 19, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #27 (Tyranny of Dragons)

Before Horatio confronts Cyanwrath, Brian casts _Warding Bond_, creating a spiritual tether between the two dwarves. Horatio gains resistance to all damage, but any injuries he does sustain are mirrored on the cleric’s person.

*“So, ye like picking on low level characters, do ye?”* Horatio growls, circling the dragonborn warrior.

Cyanwrath lunges, swinging his massive greatsword in a savage downward slash. Horatio deflects the blow with his shield but is caught by surprise when the dragonborn uses _Action Surge_ to take another swing. Up on the battlements, Brian grunts as a bloody gash appears along his arm.

Horatio lands a few good hits on his scaly opponent and Cyanwrath retaliates by spitting lightning in the dwarf’s face. Horatio hops back, his beard bristling with static electricity. Above, Brian grimaces as invisible shockwaves wrack his body.
The duel continues for a few more rounds, until Horatio defeats the dragonborn, thanks largely to his warding bond with Brian. Horatio beheads his opponent and waves the gristly trophy like a flag. The dragon cultists can barely contain their dismay as Cyanwrath goes down! The prisoners are released and the cult pulls back from the keep. Horatio returns to the walls and hurls insults at the retreating forces.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 19, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #28 (Tyranny of Dragons)

Governor Nighthill encourages the heroes to rest, but Horatio is too energised after his duel for sleep to come easily. Instead, he interrogates the two cult prisoners in the keep’s dungeon. Despite Horatio’s intimidating presence, the cultists cannot be broken; they fear the wrath of Tiamat far more than the threat of a vanilla beating.

After a short rest, the heroes return to the walls. Governor Nighthill is in a flap because the Dragon Cult are trying to burn the town’s mill and incinerate their stockpile of flour. Escobert is gathering men to defend the building, but someone needs to stop the cult from burning it down before he gets there.

The party exit the keep via an old run-off tunnel, emerging on the muddy bank of the stream running through the centre of town. Four masked cultists and a heavily armed human mercenary loiter outside the building, but something seems off. The bad guys are making a big show of brandishing their torches, but it’s more of a pantomime peril than an actual threat. Fap sneaks around the back of the mill and is unsurprised to find another eight enemies waiting in ambush. It seems like the Dragon Cult wanted to lure the heroes away from the keep….

Regardless, the cult forces need to be dealt with before Escobert walks into a trap. Horatio triggers the ambush and Mara hits the concealed cultists with _Burning Hands_ as they pop out of hiding.

*“That’s why you don’t play with fire!”* she chastises the cultists, as they writhe on the floor to extinguish their flaming robes, *“That’s right. Stop, drop and roll you lizard-loving freaks.”*

The party defeat the cultists with little trouble and Escobert arrives soon after, with enough manpower to defend the mill until dawn. The heroes return to the keep and begin their report to Governor Nighthill. They are interrupted by a terrifying roar, as an adult blue dragon dives toward the battlements!


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## mikeawmids (Jun 19, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #29 (Tyranny of Dragons)

This isn’t the parties’ first dragon fight, but while Venomfang was an adolescent, the specimen descending on Greenest is fully grown and scary as fudge. Fap fails his WIS save to resist the dragon’s fearsome presence and cowers behind the battlements beside Governor Nighthill. Fap masters his terror long enough to take a shot at the dragon, but his hands are shaking so violently that he misses by miles.

Since Horatio can’t reach the dragon while it’s airborne, he dedicates his turn to aiding Fap overcome his fear. Meanwhile, Mara prepares to cast _Lightning Bolt_ from a scroll – then suddenly remembers they are fighting a _blue_ dragon and puts it away, shaking her head ruefully. Silly wizard. She casts _Firebolt_ instead, which does 2d10 damage now that she is level 5 – or it would have done, if she had hit, which she did not. Brian casts _Guiding Bolt_ (at third level) and also misses. The dragon vomits lightning all over the walls, killing one man outright and wounding six more.

Emboldened by the support of his friends, Fap places a _Hunters Mark_ on the dragon and inflicts modest damage. With Horatio’s aid, he recovers from the Frightened condition. The dragon lands atop the battlements, claws digging deep gouges in the stone walls of the keep.  The party are divided, Fap and Horatio on one side of the dragon, Brian and Mara on the other. Mara experiences an unpleasant sensation of deja-vu as the dragon snaps her up in its jaws. That’s the second time something awful has tried to eat her! Horatio bull-rushes the dragon and is targeted with a tail swipe that bats him off the wall! He flies through the air and splashes down in the stream beneath the keep, unconscious and dying!
Mara picks herself up, leaning heavily on the battlements. Fresh blood stains her ravaged robe.

*“You need to go!”* Brian shouts over his shoulder.

*“I can’t leave you!”* Mara protests.

*“Just go! We’ll be fine! Go help Horatio!”*

Mara misty-steps to safety. She finds Horatio floating in the stream and forces a potion of greater healing down the dwarf’s throat. Brian tries to cast _Blindness_ on the dragon, but it resists. The dragon retaliates with two claw attacks, driving Brian back and demolishing more of the wall. Fap shoots the beast in the flank and Brian slaps it with _Inflict Wounds_. Having been reduced from 225 to 128 hp, the dragon takes wing and breaths lightning over the battlements to cover its retreat. Fap dodges the worst of it (but still takes half damage), whereas Brian is hit for a massive 66 damage and is only 3 hp away from perma-death! Fap digs frantically through the fallen rubble to find and stabilise the dying cleric.
Seeing their draconic ally routed, the rest of the Dragon Cult cut their losses and quit Greenest also, retreating to the north with their stolen plunder.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 19, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #30 (Tyranny of Dragons)

After an interminable night of fire and bloodshed, dawn breaks hard over the smoking ruins of Greenest. Over two dozen buildings have burnt to the ground and one side of the stone keep has been reduced to rubble. Bodies (a mash-up of civilians, cultists and kobolds) litter the streets. As the light of the new days dispels the terrors of the long night, those residents who did not seek sanctuary within the keep emerge from hiding and tearfully absorb the devastation around them. The Dragon Cult was repulsed, but the cost was great.

Greenest was not the only town hit. Sildar receives word from his allies in the Lord’s Alliance that other towns across the Greenfields were also targeted by the cult. While these attacks have been ruinous, destruction was not the cult’s primary objective. In each instance, eye witnesses report the cultists piling stolen treasure into wagons. These wagons have been tracked north along the Trade Way, before turning off the road and into the Mere of Dead Men. Sildar and his spies are unsure what the cult is doing in that blasted swampland, but they need to find out. Since the _Heroes of Phandalin_ have already survived (although not actually _won_) two dragon fights, they are the ideal candidates to scope out the cult’s activities.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 19, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #31 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The Mere of Dead Men is a vast, tangled marshland of sucking muck and cold grey water. Sparse clumps of scrubby weeds sprout from the few islands of solid ground. The _Heroes of Phandalin_ slosh through the knee-deep sludge, making painfully slow progress to avoid marching into another patch of quicksand or the territory of some carnivorous ooze.

*“Remind me, why did we accept this quest?”* Horatio grumbles, waving the biting insects away from his face.

*“Someone has to stop the Dragon Cult.”* Fap answers.

*“I mean, sure.”* Horatio agrees, *“But why does it have to be us?”*

Earlier that day, the party had found several abandoned wagons half-submerged in the muck near the edge of the mire. The stolen plunder had already been offloaded and hauled deeper into the swamp.

As darkness falls across the marsh, the heroes stumble upon an empty camp erected atop a small island of semi-solid ground. A half-dozen crude canoes have been pulled up alongside a circle of shanty lean-to’s. Fap examines the muddy ground and finds a mess of recent lizardfolk tracks. With no real alternative, the party reluctantly prepare to spend the night in the lizardfolk campsite. The party are wary of the camp’s previous occupants returning in the small hours and set a watch. They don’t have long to wait.

Soon after dusk, nine lizardmen paddle out of the mist hanging low over the mere. Brian and Horatio hide in the lean-to’s, while Fap and Mara duck beneath the unattended canoes. The party hope to go unnoticed.

*“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!”* one of the lizardmen cries (in Draconic), *“And they’re still here!”*

After a brutal skirmish, the heroes defeat the lizardmen, leaving just one survivor. Donning her Helm of Comprehension, Mara questions the injured warrior. His name is Snapjaw and the Dragon Cult have compelled his tribe to act as scouts and porters, hauling treasure across the Mere of Dead Men to the cult headquarters in the ruin of Castle Naerytar. Before the arrival of the cult, the lizardfolk warred with a tribe of disgusting bullywugs – now both groups are subservient to the cult leaders. Snapjaw can lead the party to the castle and agrees to do so if the party free his kin from the tyranny of the Dragon Cult.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 22, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #32 (Tyranny of Dragons)

Castle Naerytar is a crumbling ruin long abandoned to the swamp, slowly sinking into the mire under the weight of its own stone. The entire edifice is slightly lopsided as a result.

Snapjaw tells the party that a black dragonborn called Rezmir calls the shots and that she has two lieutenants; an elven duellist called Dralmorrer Borngray and a bullywug shaman called Pharblex Splattergoo. Rezmir and Borngray both have quarters in the castle proper, while Splattergoo can usually be found in the flooded caverns beneath the keep.

Lizardfolk pickets challenge the party as they approach, but Snapjaw claims they are new cultists he is escorting to see Borngray. The party are permitted to pass. The heroes regret not stealing any cult attire from the many dead dragon cultists they’ve left in their wake since Thundertree.

The barbican is defended by ten bullywugs and a pair of giant toads.

*“Who – CROAK – you?”* the bullywugs demand.

*“New cultists,”* Snapjaw explains, *“I am - ”*

The lizardman is silenced by a wet slap from the lead bullywugs webbed hand.

*“Be – CROAK – silent! They – CROAK – talk!”*

None of the heroes are proficient in Deception, but the two dwarves have the best CHA and Horatio doesn’t need to worry about annoying his god with a few white lies.

*“Er… Hail Tiamat!”* he says, unconvincingly.

The bullywugs look unconvinced.

*“Er… Death to the non-believers!”* Horatio adds.

The bullywugs nod along and wave the party through.

*“Not – CROAK – you!”* one says, shoving Snapjaw away, *“We – CROAK – take.”*

The lizardman slinks away with his tail between his legs.

Four bullywugs march the party across the causeway and into a muddy courtyard occupied by yet more bullywugs bossing around a handful of resentful lizardfolk. A three-storey tower with a domed roof stands in the centre of the courtyard. Two bullywugs take up positions to either side of the entrance, while the other two lead the party inside and up a flight of stone steps to the first floor. There is one door off this landing and one bullywug knocks, while the other keeps a pair of beady eyes fixed on the heroes. There is no response from inside the room, other than the muted squawking of a bird. The bullywug knocks more loudly, then turns to shrug helplessly at his friend.

*“Where – CROAK – elf? Not – CROAK – here!”

“How I – CROAK – know? What we – CROAK – do – CROAK – now?”*

While the two bullywugs argue, Mara casts _Sleep_ and they both nod off, leaning heavily on their spears. Fap tries to open the door that the bullywugs were banging on, but the lock proves too complex for his one level in Rogue to overcome. Horatio kicks the door open, the bullywugs downstairs don’t respond to the noise. The room beyond is a simple, sparsely furnished sleeping chamber; wooden cot, stool, stone wash basin. A large raven thrashes at the bars of an iron bird cage suspended from the ceiling, shedding black feathers across the floor. The party search the room but find little of interest, besides a few bespoke dressing gowns with the initials D.B sewn into them.

*“Borngray!”* an irate voice bellows from beneath the floor, *“Shut that damned bird up or I will turn it to stone! Some of us are trying to work!”*

Fap lifts the rug off the floor and throws it over the birdcage to muffle the raven’s racket. Doing so reveals a loose floorboard concealing a sealed lockbox. Fap picks the lock and the party pocket the contents. Horatio wants to stuff the raven into the box and put it back beneath the floor, but the rest of the party vote him down.

The party continue to climb the tower. The top floor has been converted into some kind of observatory, dominated by a large and complicated looking telescope-like contraption. It looks both fragile and expensive.

*“I reckon someone will be right inconvenienced if we smash that!”* Horatio says.

Mara glowers at the dwarf and steps forward to examine the device. She peers through the lens, but the image is distorted and confusing. She begins to feel dizzy and steps away from the strange apparatus – just as four stone gargoyles drop in through trapdoors in the domed ceiling!


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## mikeawmids (Jun 22, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #33 (Tyranny of Dragons)

*“Mind of the telescope!”* Mara shrieks, as Horatio swings Talon with reckless abandon, hacking large chunks of stone off the nearest gargoyle.

The gargoyle knocks the sword from his hand and Horatio uses his second attack to head-butt the creature, cracking his own skull in the process. Mara casts _Firebolt_, blasting off another gargoyle’s arm. It retaliates by biting her head. Brian hits a gargoyle with _Inflict Wounds (lv3)_, exploding it into a fine powder. Horatio reclaims his weapon and uses it to smash another two gargoyles in quick succession (at this point, Horatio’s player decided that Talon emits a piercing bird cry whenever he rolls a critical hit). The final creature retreats through the trapdoor in the ceiling and flies off to raise the alarm.

*“Time to go,”* Fap says.

The sound of webbed feet slapping against stone rises from below. The bullywugs are climbing the tower!

*“The telescope!”* Fap cries, *“We can climb it to reach the roof!”*

The heroes scale the strange apparatus to reach the trapdoor in the ceiling. They slam it shut just as the first wave of bullywugs hurl their spears. There is no way off the domed roof of the observatory, other than the 30ft drop to the courtyard below.

*“We can jump to the roof of the main hall!”* Fap says, eyeballing the distance.

*“You might make that jump, but Mara can’t!”* Brian protests.

*“I’ll make it!”* Mara cries, taking the leap.

She nearly does.

The treacherous tiles shift under her weight as she lands atop the roof of the main hall and Mara finds herself slipping backwards into the void, arms flailing helplessly. The two dwarves hop across, grabbing the little wizard and pulling her to safety.

*“Where now?”* Horatio roars, *“There’s no way off this roof either!

“Sod this lark! I’m making my own!”*

Horatio rips out a handful of roof tiles with his bare hands, revealing a long (20ft) drop down into the main hall of Castle Naerytar. A dozen cultists look up from sorting through a vast pile of plunder. A large iron chandelier dangles above the gleaming hoard and the party drop down onto it.

*“Going down!”* Horatio cries, swinging Talon at the rusty chain suspending the chandelier from the ceiling.

The rest of the party cling to each other for dear life as the chandelier plummets, crushing four cultists and scattering stolen treasure across the floor. The party crawl from the wreckage and mop up the remaining hostiles. The cultists are outmatched, but they are fanatically loyal to Tiamat and fight to the death to defend their hoard. Horatio barricades the door to the courtyard before the bullywugs make it back down the tower. The only other exit from the main hall is a dank staircase descending into the flooded caverns beneath the keep.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 23, 2020)

No spoilers, but in tonight's session the party suffered such a calamitous setback that we're having to roll up new level 7 characters to finish the first half of the book....


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## mikeawmids (Jun 23, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #34 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The barricaded door to the castle courtyard shudders as the bullywugs on the other side throw their weight against the rotting wood. It isn’t going to hold for long. With nowhere else to turn, the heroes descend into the water-logged dungeon beneath the keep. A string of guttering torches lead around the edge of a murky pond and off along a passageway to the north-west. The dark water looks greasy and unpotable, the party give it a wide berth. The tunnel ends at a ledge, dropping 15ft to another well-lit cavern below. The cultists have erected a lift-like mechanism to raise/lower cargo between the two levels. A dozen crates have been stacked on the wooden platform, ready to be moved. Horatio pops the lid off one box and finds it to contain a small fortune in stolen silver! The next box is filled with gold!

A ladder has been driven into the wall below the crane and the heroes climb down. The distant crash of splintering wood suggests the cult have broken into the main hall. The heroes pick up the pace, although it seems increasingly unlikely that they will find another way out of these dank caverns.

The party reach an intersection. The first route leads to a large chamber, where the cultists have arranged yet more crates of plundered loot in the centre of a large magical circle inscribed into the floor. Mara realises that this is a teleportation circle and the Dragon Cult must be transporting their ill-gotten goods even further afield. Mara has no idea how to activate the circle, or where it would send them if she did. Better the frying pan than the fire. The party backtrack to the intersection and try the next tunnel.

Door #2 leads into a shrine celebrating all things amphibian. Hundreds of crude frog statues squat within candle-lit hollows in the dripping walls. Ten bullywugs leap to the defence of their slimy sanctum. The sound of combat rouses Pharblex Splattergoo from his contemplation of the universe in the adjacent chamber and the bullywug shaman joins the fight. He is an especially obese and slimy specimen of his species, with a severed crocodile head wedged atop his fat head like a hat. Splattergoo offloads _Poison Spray_ into Horatio’s face. The dwarf splutters in outrage, but isn’t particularly poisoned. Mara casts _Lightning Bolt_, obliterating Splattergoo in a splatter of… goo. Horatio is plastered in frog guts as his opponent explodes.

After finishing off the rest of the shaman’s entourage, the party loot the shrine. Mara finds a pair of advanced spell books that she can barely even begin to comprehend. She packs them away for later study, once she has a few more Wizard levels under her belt. There is nothing else of interest in the room, unless you have a thing for frogs.

*“Considering all the loot the Dragon Cult are moving, this adventure has been a little light on decent treasure!”* Fap grumbles.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 23, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #35 (Tyranny of Dragons)

As the heroes get ready to leave the frog sanctum, they hear voices from the direction of the intersection. Fap creeps closer and spies a group of cultists descending via the wooden crane. The most imposing figure among them is a black dragonborn wearing purple robes, with an oversized greatsword strapped across her back. She is attended by a one-eyed elven man and a balding human in the distinctive crimson robes of the Red Wizards. Fap curses under his breath; it is Hamun Kost, who the party last encountered near the ruins of Old Owl Well, east of Phandalin. It seems the necromancer took a detour on his way back to Thay. How is _he_ involved in all this?

*“Have you found them yet?”* the dragonborn snarls.

*“Not yet, Wyrmspeaker,”* fawns the elven cyclops, *“But we will. We know they came down here and the stairs back up into the castle are guarded. It’s only a matter of time until we flush them out of whatever dark corner they’re hiding in.”

“Get it done. If they’re still alive, find out how much they know before you dispose of them.”

“At once, Wyrmspeaker.”

“Come, Master Kost,” *The dragonborn says, turning to the Red Wizard, *“The circle will teleport us to a place of safety, where we might continue our conversation without further interruptions.”*

_‘So that’s Rezmir,’ _Fap thinks, as the dragonborn leads Kost away, leaving the one eyed elven man to harangue his subordinates, _‘And you must be Borngray.’_

Sound echoes strangely through the tunnels and if Fap listens carefully, he can hear Rezmir bark the command word to activate the teleportation circle (“Draezir”), followed by a flash of light as she and Kost are transported god-knows-where.

*“You heard the Wyrmspeaker!”* Borngray screams, *“Find them! I’ll be in my quarters!”*

The cultists disperse, leaving the intersection clear. The party are injured and low on resources. They are deep in enemy territory with little chance of escape. Should they try to clear the rest of Castle Naerytar and see what clues they may have missed, or leap headlong through the teleportation circle in pursuit of Wyrmspeaker Rezmir?

*“Borngray might know something, but he’s middle management,”* Fap says, *“We need to know why the Dragon Cult are getting cosy with the Red Wizards. Let’s follow them!”*

The party drain the rest of their healing potions and step into the teleportation circle.

*“Draezir!”*

There is a flash of light as the circle activates – and the Heroes of Phandalin are gone!

_They also advance to level 6!_


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## Goonalan (Jun 23, 2020)

I'm loving it that Hamun Khost is the Red Wizard du jour here, nice work DM.

More...

Stay safe.

Cheers goonalan


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## mikeawmids (Jun 23, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #36 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The party are teleported to a bitterly cold and densely forested clearing high in the Greypeak Mountains. A trail winds through the creaking evergreens toward a secluded, two-storey hunting lodge. The windows are shuttered but smoke puffs from one of three large chimneys rising from the moss-covered roof.

The heroes are low on health and need to rest before they go kicking another nest of hornets. Mara casts _Leomund’s Tiny Hut_, creating a magical bubble of safety against the elements and/or wandering monsters. The next eight hours pass uneventfully and the party enjoy the benefits of a long rest, although Fap has the feeling they are not alone among the pines.

The heroes advance on the lodge. Mara uses her spider staff to grant the entire party the _Spider Climb_ ability, which lasts one hour and allows them to reach the roof. The plan had been to climb down one of the two unlit chimneys, but once they get up there, they realise there is a big hole in the roof. The heroes drop down into what was once an armoury, but now most of the weapon racks are bare. The party take this opportunity to restock on arrows and crossbow bolts.

Fap peeks out onto an open landing overlooking the main entrance. There is another door directly opposite the armoury, opening into a spacious hall buttressed by ten wooden pillars carved into the likenesses of dragons. Tapestries adorn the walls, depicting dragons hunting and killing the ‘lesser’ species’. The largest tapestry hanging over the roaring fireplace shows a five-headed dragon stitched in gold and silver thread and adorned with precious stones.

*“Tiamat, Queen of evil dragons.”* Mara says. Even Horatio is stunned into silence.

The heroes continue their stealthy exploration of the hunting lodge. So far, it seems their presence remains undetected. They find a couple of empty bathrooms and a darkened dormitory occupied by a single sleeping mercenary. They close the door and Mara casts _Arcane Lock_, shutting him inside.

The adjacent door opens into a well-appointed sitting room occupied by a human woman wearing white robes and the cult insignia, one masked cultist and a two armed bodyguards. The woman in white is ranting about Rezmir’s decision to give someone called Varram the White Dragon Mask, instead of giving it to her. Fap pulls the door closed and Mara seals it with another _Arcane Lock_.

The party continue around the landing and enter a single bedroom. A locked chest rests at the foot of a large, four-poster bed covered with plush white furs. Fap picks the lock and the party help themselves to what’s inside (4000gp, a scroll of Scorching Ray and a vest of +1 chainmail that nobody wants). There is also a leather bound journal belonging to someone called Talis (the party assume that this is the white robed woman from the previous room). She writes that the Dragon Cult are amassing a treasure hoard worthy of Tiamat as part of a ritual to bring the Queen of Dragons into the realms! The cult are planning to transport a vast amount of plundered loot to their headquarters in the Sunset Mountains via a flying cloud castle hidden near the town of Parnast.

The heroes hear a distant banging noise. Talis and her bodyguards have realised they are locked inside and are trying to break down the door.

*“Time we weren’t here,”* Fap says, slipping the stolen journal into his pack, *“We have a cloud castle to catch!”*


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## mikeawmids (Jun 23, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #37 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The party retreat onto the roof of the lodge. From their vantage point, they can see the tops of a mist-shrouded town further down the mountain. Assuming that this is Parnast, the heroes head in that direction.

It’s not long before they hear sounds of pursuit. The cult have picked up their trail and are hot on their heels. Fap finds a good spot to spring an ambush and the heroes lie in wait of the hunting party. Three drakes enter the clearing, followed by a pair of troll handlers and a four-armed troll called Trepsin, the cult’s huntmaster.

Fap shoots the lead drake in the neck, felling it instantly. Mara immolates the two trolls with _Fireball_, neither troll are able to regenerate HP this turn. Brian casts _Shield of Faith_ to boost Horatio’s AC, as the fighter charges to attack the burning trolls. Trepsin makes five (!!!) attacks and rends Horatio for 22 dmg! Horatio takes a full round action to defend, hoping to keep Trepsin occupied while the rest of the party wear down the other two trolls.

Fap back-flips away from the two drakes and lays down fire on the two trolls. Trepsin flurries at Horatio, who parries his claw attacks with deft precision. Mara blows up one troll with a second _Fireball_, while the other troll claws Brian for 29 dmg. The cleric drops _Cure Wounds_ (lv2) on himself. Horatio continues to defend.

With a roar, Trepsin ignores Horatio and turns toward Mara! The little wizard squeaks in fright and throws a hasty _Firebolt_ at the charging troll. Realising that Mara is in grave peril, Brian tries to finish his opponent off with _Inflict Wounds (lv3)_, but misses! Horatio attacks Trepsin twice, both miss!! Fap ignores the drakes snapping at his heels and also shoots at the four-armed troll, he also misses!!!

It seems the gods have decided Mara Lemonrock must die.

Trepsin hits Mara with all five attacks for a staggering 54 dmg!! Mara drops to the ground like a bloody ragdoll. To add insult to injury, the troll also recovers 10 hp (bastard).

Brian channels divinity to preserve life, specifically his and Horatio’s. Horatio cuts off the other troll’s head and turns back to Trepsin.

*“Er… Horatio!”* Brian cries, pointing to the decapitated body, *“Look out!”*

The headless troll is crawling around on all fours, searching blindly for its missing head. Before Horatio’s eyes, a second, melon-sized head begins to sprout from the troll’s shoulder, all bug-eyed and baby-faced.

*“Oh for fudge’s sake!”* Horatio growls.

*“Kill it with fire!”* Brian yells.

Horatio throws Brian his explorer’s pack and the cleric lights up a pair of torches, tossing one onto the regenerating troll and handing the other back to the fighter. The first troll writhes on the ground as the flames consume its rubbery hide. Trepsin knocks the torch out of Horatio’s hand and grabs each of the dwarf’s arms in two of his own.

*“This is gonna’ hurt,”* Horatio predicts, bracing himself for the pain to come.

With a crackle of bone, Trepsin breaks both of Horatio’s arms and tosses the dwarf aside. Horatio flops around like a landed fish, but cannot right himself.

*“We can’t win!” *Fap cries, *“We’re all going to die if we stay here!”

“We can’t abandon our friends!” *Brian retorts, standing his ground.

Trepsin lunges and grabs the cleric in a four-armed grapple. No matter how he struggles, Brian cannot break the troll’s grip.

*“Drop your bow or I will maim this dwarf also!”*

For a moment, Fap considers running… but he can’t bring himself to do it. He looks to Mara, ragged and bloody, sprawled across the trail. He looks to Horatio, still struggling to rise despite his two broken arms. He looks to Brian, trapped in the troll’s ruinous embrace.

With a cry of frustration, Fap tosses his weapon aside and allows himself to be taken.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 23, 2020)

So, yeah... I'm thinking three trolls - one of which gets five attacks per turn - and three ambush drakes might have been overkill.


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## Goonalan (Jun 23, 2020)

mikeawmids said:


> So, yeah... I'm thinking three trolls - one of which gets five attacks per turn - and three ambush drakes might have been overkill.




Trepsin was/is terrifying, my guys- in my last play through of ToD- which is written up here, did all they could to avoid the confrontation- this after taking a brief kicking from the Troll & Drake patrol- they won through the patrol fight but it was tough, made easier by the Warlock's Hunger of Hadar (I hate that spell) from memory. They talked their way through this rest of this area... but at this point they were trying (and mostly succeeding) at chatting their way through lots of encounters.

I'm loving this by the way.

Are you caught up with the action- with the write up, how far ahead are the PCs in ToD, only if you're inclined to reply- no fuss.

Stay frosty.

Cheers goonalan


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## mikeawmids (Jun 23, 2020)

We're now up to date. The players have outlined their replacement PCs following the TPC (Total Party Capture) detailed above. I'm enjoying comparing my experience of this campaign with your own write-up. I have a l-o-n-g way to go before I catch up with your thread!


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## Goonalan (Jun 24, 2020)

I was going to post some suggestions here... but then I thought, you're up to date and your players possibly come here- do they?

If not then I have a few suggestions, again- not pressing, just it's been great so far... want to see where you go with it.

Cheers goonalan


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## mikeawmids (Jun 24, 2020)

I'm pretty sure they don't come on this forum, so fire away. Your interest/input is much appreciated.


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## Goonalan (Jun 24, 2020)

mikeawmids said:


> I'm pretty sure they don't come on this forum, so fire away. Your interest/input is much appreciated.









Well, Tallis isn't enamoured with just about everyone in the CotD hierarchy... or at least she didn't get the White Mask, Rezmir seems to have advanced swiftly beyond her reach, or else the Half-Black Dragon is getting much too much love from the higher ups.

So, release the PCs back into play (maybe except for one of 'em, keep a hostage- and make it real difficult for the PCs to come back to rescue their guy). Give the PCs a list of things to do- kill Rezmir (maybe) and hunt down Varram the White (who is handily placed in RoT).

The entire ToD series has villains that are all CotD ranking members and are yet all just (seemingly) out for themselves- y'know EVIL. 





Also...





So, there's two guys for Talis' list- my first choice TPC would be to reprogram (or at least convince them of the new story- you need to do this, or else bad things happen to the prisoner PC) the PCs- kill Rez, take over the Ice Castle- come and pick up Talis (maybe) then skip forward to the chase down Varram site in RoT.

How you resolve it after that...

1) Give the PCs just one chance to take the Castle back, and to rescue their guy.
2) Else, if you've chatty PCs, get them to talk Talis round to some other plan...
3) Something else which springs up from your great big brain as the PCs plough on- maybe there could a climax (death scene) for Talis in Oygavitton when she meets and joins up with Old White Death (or is killed by same- hubris, after trying to force the great white into her plan somehow).

I also had a lot of fun with Sandesyl (from memory) the Vampire in the Ice Castle, she wants to go the dracolich route, and so could usurp/kill/whatever Talis and take over as puppet master.

Or else just keep it up, with Talis- Trepsin and Old White Death all aboard the Ice Castle doing their best to punish Severin/Rez/Varram/the CotD by either messing up their plans or else making her play for the top slot in the entire operation.

How much Talis tells the PCs, that don't matter- she can tell them do these things and I'll set you on your way again- and then welch on the deal (big time) in the end.

Likewise all of the above can be achieved much more quietly- Talis stays in the background, just nudging the PCs here and there to her own ends- just do a deal with them, but give the guys some indelible mark that kills them (or other) if they don't stay on course.

I'd also consider Talis already mid-deal with the Red Wizards- see the Thay section of RoT, the Thayans could be of use- holding a PC prisoner for Talis, a meeting with Szass Tam (or similar) and as it utrns out a lot of bad guys want the CotD stopped/punished/crippled too.

Compromise the PCs, they're doing the Council of Waterdeep thing but reporting back all the while to Talis/Tam/Sandesyl- screw the PCs to the floor with whatever hold over them you've got, and then make them play the game as double agents.

Oddball-

Polymorph Trepsin into whatever normal and send him with the PCs, stat him up and give him to the player that's sacrificing their PC (held prisoner). Trepsin could even come to see the light on this route.

Talis meets Glazhael (the White Dragon in the Ice Castle) and live happily ever after.

In summary-

1) Remotivate the PCs by taking one of them captive, or else some other substantial hold- then let them loose again.

2) Give them a set of tasks to complete for Talis (which may not be enough to satisfy her...)

3) Turn the PCs into double agents for Talis, they have to make choices/plans how to avoid being caught, but also how to wyrm (sorry, worm) their way out the situation.

4) Get another CotD high-up involved in the action- Sandesyl, Old White Death- whoever.

Just noodling, you know best- you are the DM!

Take care.

Cheers goonalan


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## mikeawmids (Jun 26, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #38 (Tyranny of Dragons)

In the secluded village of Parnast, a strange group gather in the taproom of the _Golden Tankard_. They are seated around a table as far from the prying ears of the rat-faced bartender as the dimensions of the building will allow.

_This is the B team, replacement characters bought in to replace the Heroes of Phandalin, after they fell into the scaly clutches of the Dragon Cult. They are;

Hellen Iresworne, Tiefling Bard (lv7), College of Whispers. A raven-haired beauty with understated horns and an overstated bosom. Her personality is almost as bouncy as her… ahem. She carries a rapier and wears a Cloak of Displacement.

Urukk Hai, Half-Orc Monk (lv 7, Way of the Open Palm. Kitted out with Gauntlets of Ogre Power. He likes to punch things. That is literally his whole deal.

Dagar Kutt, Goblin Warlock (lv 7), sworn to the Great Old One. Goes hooded and cloaked, primarily to hide his face and heritage, but also because it looks sinister. Kinda’ looks like a Jawa. Although he can summon a pact weapon (a matched pair of ceremonial daggers), he prefers to fight with his Tentacle Rod, a powerful boon from his patron.

Headstone Hal, Dwarf Rogue (lv 7), Assassin. “Why do they call him Headstone?” I hear you ask. It’s because he’s the last thing his targets see before he puts them in the ground. A mute killer, Headstone fights with a pair of hammers that he wields with almost balletic finesse. In one of his many hidden pockets, he carries a Portable Hole._

*“So we all know why we’re here,”* drawls the fifth member of their group, a diminutive gnome thief called Jamna Gleamsilver, *“The Cult of Dragons are moving a king’s ransom in stolen treasure through this arsehole of civilization and loading it onto the cloud castle they’ve got moored on the edge of town. The Black Network wants that plunder! Your team is tasked with infiltrating Skyreach Castle and hijacking the steering tower! Achieve this and you’ll all be promoted from Wolves to Vipers!

“But if you fail to secure the castle and its golden cargo, we don’t want those lizard lovers hanging onto it! In that scenario, your secondary goal is to bring the castle down by any means necessary! Headstone, do you still have the stuff?”*

The taciturn dwarf nods slowly and pats his breast pocket.

*“Good. Don’t mess this one up. The higher-ups are watching. Your future with the Zhentarim hinges on the success of this heist.

“Oh, I almost forgot! We got word that those stuck-up prigs from the Lord’s Alliance already sent a group of trouble-shooters after the treasure. The Heroes of Some Nowhere Town – or something like that. Bunch of amateurs got themselves captured. We think they’re being held in the castle. It could be useful if they owe us a favour. If you chance upon them, consider getting them out – but not if you think they might jeopardise the mission!

“You got all that?”*

The Wolves nod. They got it.

There is a commotion in the street outside the tavern. A group of armed guards approach the building, under the stern gaze of a brawny warrior in the distinctive purple attire of the Dragon Cult. The villagers clear the streets, slamming their doors and bolting their shutters.

*“Hear me, Zhentarim scum!”* the officer shouts, *“My name is Captain Othelstan and it is my duty to inform you that you have outstayed your welcome in Parnast. Throw down your weapons and exit the tavern! My men will escort you back to the main road.”

“Time for me to make myself scarce,”* Jamna says, heading for the back door, *“Good hunting, Wolves!”*


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## mikeawmids (Jun 29, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #39 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The wolf pack emerges from the tavern and squares off against the cult enforcers.

*“What are you Zhent scum doing in Parnast?”* Captain Othelstan demands.

*“We are but simple tourists, here to take in the sights and absorb the local culture,”* Hellen drawls, *“We heard you had a lovely cloud castle and just had to see it for ourselves. Tell me, do you sell postcards?”

“No, but we do have a historic dungeon, where you will be spending the foreseeable future if you don’t scram this instant.” *Captain O retorts, reaching for his flail.

*“Is it just me, or is that castle starting to move?” *Dagar interjects.

*“Oh hell, they’re taking off!” *Hellen cries, whipping out her rapier.

*“Hold them here until the castle is airborne!” *Captain O commands.

The cult guards rush forward. Headstone weaves between their flashing blades and strikes at Captain O. The dragonsoul evades the attempted assassination (and the additional 8d6 sneak attack damage that would have accompanied it) and retaliates by cracking his flail across the side of Headstone’s skull. Urukk punches one guard in the throat, then again in the groin; down he goes, curled up in a sad little ball. Hellen flicks her wrist and pins another guard’s foot to the ground with one of her (many) daggers.

*“F*ing b**!” *he curses her.

*“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” *Hellen replies, feigning shock.

The injured guard opens his mouth to hurl more abuse her way, then explodes as Dagar targets him with _Eldritch/Agonising Blast_. A different guard drives his spear into the goblin’s side. Dagar waves his Tentacle Rod and three long, rubbery tentacles lash out to batter him. Two guards advance on Hellen, the first strikes her across the face with the butt of his spear. She snaps her fingers in _Hellish Rebuke_ and her assailant spontaneously combusts. She drives her rapier through the second guard’s heart.

Urukk crits on his next attack and literally punches a hole through some poor bugger’s chest. Headstone waits for Urukk to engage Captain O, so he can get his sneak attack damage. The half-orc monk unleashes a flurry of blows; only one hits, but it is enough to distract the Dragonsoul. Headstone darts in, swinging his two hammers and breaking bones. Hellen viciously mocks the captain, while Dagar hits the Dragonsoul with two _Agonising Blasts_. Captain O is agonised.

*“You can’t win this fight,” *Hellen taunts the captain, *“Why not surrender and get it over with?”

“I don’t have to beat you,” *the Dragonsoul replies, splitting a glob of bloody phlegm at the bard’s feet. He glances up at the escaping cloud castle, *“All I have to do is delay you for a few moments longer.”*

But he doesn’t have a few moments. Headstone darts back into the fray and crits against the Dragonsoul for 40 dmg! That should have finished him off, but Captain O is kept standing by Tiamat’s _Blessing of Retribution_, granting him one last chance to avenge himself on the wolf pack. He squanders this opportunity with two sub-par attack rolls, then keels over, dead as a doorpost.

*“Know when you’re beat, buddy.”* Dagar says, prodding the body with his boot.

As Captain O dies, Hellen steps forward and captures his shadow.

*“Neat trick.”* Urukk grunts.

Skyreach Castle is growing ever smaller as it ascends into the heavens. The heroes have no idea how they are supposed to get aboard now that it is already in the air. Fortunately, by stealing the Dragonsoul’s shadow, Hellen has gained access to a few of his memories.

*“The cult stabled a pair of wyverns nearby,”* she says, *“If we can ride them, we can still catch up.”*

The wolves find the wyverns and fit their harnesses. Urukk and Dagar will ride the first beast and get it under control almost immediately. Hellen and Headstone mount the second, but it proves to be more stubborn than its mate. Hellen weaves Captain O’s shadow into a disguise and the truculent wyvern soon settles down. She can only maintain the illusion for one hour, so time is of the essence. The wolf pack takes to the sky in pursuit of Skyreach Castle.


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## mikeawmids (Jun 29, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #40 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The wyverns are swift and soon close the distance with the cult’s cloud castle. The entire edifice is constructed from thick blue ice, built on/around a huge floating glacier. Icy mist spills from the battlements, leaving a freezing fog in the castle’s wake. While clammy and unpleasant to fly through, it does hide the wolves’ approach from the ogre sentries on the walls.

Five towers rise from the upper courtyard. The tallest (and the one in the greatest state of disrepair) is the only one not to have watchful ogres posted on top of it. A balcony 75ft above the courtyard presents an inviting landing pad. As Urukk and Dagar bring their wyvern in to roost, the balcony collapses beneath their combined weight. They maintain control of their mount and manoeuvre it into the tower – surprising the two vampire spawn chilling inside! They appear to be defending a stone coffin partially embedded into the icy floor of the chamber. The vampires hiss and attack!

*“Are you kidding me?”* Dagar cries, *“We should have just fought the ogres!”*

The wolves dismount and engage the undead. Hellen and Headstone join the fray a moment later. The two wyvern fly off, leaving the agents stranded aboard the cloud castle. The thick ice protects the vampires from the hateful sun. The wolves defeat the undead, leaving just whatever is asleep in the coffin still to be dealt with. The party definitely do not want to tangle with a fully fledged CR 13 Vampire, nor do they want to leave it here, in case they are still around when night falls.
Something stirs within the coffin! The party panic! Headstone produces what looks like a black handkerchief from his pocket and unfolds it on the floor. It is a portable hole, containing several casks of blasting powder. There’s no time to unload the barrels, so the wolves just shove the coffin into the hole and hastily fold it back up, before whatever is trapped inside comes bursting back out.


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## mikeawmids (Jul 14, 2020)

The Adventures of Fap Longwood #41 (Tyranny of Dragons)

The Zhentarim wolves have infiltrated the cult’s flying fortress and have thus far remained mostly undetected. They take a long rest to recover their lost HP.

There is no way down from the tower; the interior staircase has been destroyed and the ground floor exit is choked with rubble. The party lower a rope from the broken balcony; Urukk holds one end fast while the rest of the wolves descend. Urukk simply steps off the edge, trusting his _Slow Fall_ ability will cushion what would otherwise be a bone-jarring impact with the ground _(10d6 falling damage = 32, minus [5x Monk level 7 =] 35 = zero damage)_. The monk descends the 100ft drop in the style of _Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon_, to the general astonishment of his peers.

The party stand atop the snowy glacier that Cloudspire Keep is built on/around. They slip/slide down to the upper courtyard to get out of the eye-line of any patrolling guards. There are nine ogres drilling in the courtyard, throwing javelins at snowmen that magically reform after every volley. There is a large tunnel mouth leading down into the glacier.

Before heading inside the floating ice mountain, the wolves need to dispose of the undead passenger riding along in Headstone’s portable hole. Icy steps ascend onto the battlements, overlooking a dizzying drop to the realm far below. The party unfold the portable hole over the edge, holding on tight to the corners so the strong winds don’t snatch it away. The vampire’s coffin – and the barrels of black powder – all go tumbling into the void. The party will need to find an alternative way of sabotaging the cloud castle, if it comes to that.

The wolves enter the glacier, following the icy tunnels down into the mountain’s frozen core. Coins, fragments of armour and more than a few dead ogres are entombed within the walls of blue ice. Frost carpets the floor of the tunnel and crunches loudly underfoot.

The tunnel widens into a glittering cavern with jagged walls and icicles the size of stalactites hanging from the ceiling. The area is split into two levels; the upper floor overlooks a massive pile of treasure resting beneath an icy glaze. A huge white dragon clings to the ceiling above the hoard, alabaster wings folded tight to its flanks. The party edge away and pick a different tunnel that bypasses the dragon’s lair. They emerge onto the lower courtyard, mist shrouded and enclosed on all sides by tall walls of ice. Ogres patrol the battlements, but they are not expecting trouble from within the keep and their attention is elsewhere.

Nevertheless, the party need to get out of the open. The wolves duck through an adjacent door. There is no-one in sight, but the party hear raised voices. Headstone pads ahead to listen in on the argument.

*“I captured the heretics! I delivered them to you in chains! Who knows how much damage they would have caused, were it not for me!” *insists a woman’s voice, *“Where was Varram the White, when enemies came knocking at our gates? The White Dragon Mask should belong to me!”

“Varram has his own priorities and it is not your place to question them,” *a deep, gravelly voice retorts, *“I will discuss this no further. Return to your quarters and reflect on how you may best serve Tiamat in your current role.”*

Headstone shuffles out of sight, as a white robed woman storms off to sulk in her room, slamming the door behind her. Apparently there is dissent amongst the cult’s ranks, something the wolves might be able to exploit….

But first, the party need to secure allies to help slay the white dragon guarding the cult treasury. The _Heroes of Phandalin_ are being held in an adjacent chamber, guarded by a large, four-armed troll. Combat here will surely alert everyone within earshot. Hellen wiggles her fingers and a blanket of _Silence_ falls over the monstrous sentry. The troll shifts his weight to release a real gut-rumbler of a fart, then frowns in befuddlement at the lack of audio. It still stinks though and the party gag in disgust.

Headstone charges into battle, clobbering the troll with twin hammers. Urukk launches his own assault and lands three blows to the troll’s blubbery torso. The troll roars voicelessly, slashing the wolves with its filth-encrusted claws. Dagar hits the troll with two _Agonizing Bolts_, while Headstone hammers away at the monster’s ribs, like he’s playing a glockenspiel. Urukk punches a hole in the troll’s chest and rips out its beating heart!


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