# Iron dm summer champion announced!



## Rune

Since Incognito is not to be found, I have secured permision from Nemmerle (creator and first judge) to judge this Summer's Iron DM tournament.  This will be with standard rules for 8 players (and 3 alternates).  Each entrant will have 24 hours to post his/her scenario.

For those currious about who I am, I have, in the past, been an Iron DM contestant.  Those of you wishing to gain insight into my preferences of style would do well to read my entries, but this is not a garaunteed route to success.

Here's the first one I played in.

Here's another of Nemmerle's games.

Here's one of Incognito's.

*As a tangent, I'd like to explain why we only do one of these per season.  We feel that the three months between tournaments gives the victor a fair amount of time to enjoy the significance of his/her victory.  There's no copyright on the term, nor is there some kind of decree that no one else can run these games, but one should keep in mind that flooding messageboards with frequent tournaments makes each victory less meaningful.

With that out of the way, I must explain the rules for those who know not.  I will quote from one of Nemmerle's games.


> Simple. We get 8 people willing to play (and 3 alternates). I pair people off as competitors and give them a set of 6 "ingredients".
> 
> The ingredients are elements that must be used in the designing of a scenario/adventure - which should be written up in overview form - players can be as specific as they like - but detailed stat-blocks and the like are not weighed as heavily as uniqueness and playability of the ideas.
> 
> The results are then judged by me and the winner moves on to the next round. . .
> 
> So, once we have the 8 players (and alternates) - I will pair people up based on availability. However, we are going to change one aspect of the game - to make scheduling easier - players will have 24 hours from the posting of the ingredients to post their entry - which should give plenty of time for someone who is not immediately around when the ingredients are posted to get their entry done. Entries usually range from half a page to a page and half of writing (three or four paragraphs) - overly long entries run the risk of boring the judge
> 
> 
> As usual, we ask that those not involved in a round not post any suggestions or ideas about the posted ingredients.
> 
> The Iron DM is a grueling competition, with hard as nails judges (expect to have your scenario picked apart).
> 
> I will be posting an example from a previosu IRON DM round soon. . .
> 
> So, who wants to play. . . the previous ENworld Iron DM has dibs on playing so he can defend his title.




One other note.  I will not accept entrants before my next post, sometime tomorrow, _except for the winner of Incognito's last Iron DM tournament_.  That entrant must provide a link to the thread confirming his/her victory, unless circumstances prevent a search.  All other requests to be entrants before that post will be ignored.  I will periodically bump this thread, if necessary before tomorrow, to ensure that it stays visible.  This should give everybody a fair chance to see this thread.

Good luck, all.


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## seasong

Cool! I'm going to have to pass, since I'm trying to keep my extra time free for alsih2o's CeramicDM (I've skipped him too many times already), but I'll root for y'all here!

So, I'm IronDM Winter; I think we had an IronDM Spring; we're only this and one other season away from Ultimate IronDM, yes?

Then, reruns!


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## seasong

Nevermind, incognito never ran Spring.


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## alsih2o

seasong said:
			
		

> *Cool! I'm going to have to pass, since I'm trying to keep my extra time free for alsih2o's CeramicDM (I've skipped him too many times already), but I'll root for y'all here!
> 
> *




 don't worry seasong, you can play iron dm, after all another ceramic will come along, after all, we specialize in flooding messageboards with frequent tournaments making each victory less meaningful.



 o.k., edit before this gets taken wrong, the smiley is genuine, ceramic dm is much less serious and focused more i think on participation and weirdness. we are the office softball league of writing groups. moments of brilliance interspersed with long periods of goofy fun


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## seasong

alsih2o said:
			
		

> don't worry seasong, you can play iron dm, after all another ceramic will come along, after all, we specialize in flooding messageboards with frequent tournaments making each victory less meaningful.



Well, the victory isn't the meaningful part of CeramicDM . The comraderie and fun writing is, and I'd like to start being a part of that. But if you say so...

Rune, I'd like to play. My sig has the link to IronDM Winter '03, where I demonstrated my hack writing last time. My best days for participation are Wednesday, Thursday, and weekends.


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## Rune

seasong, I'm not accepting entrants until tomorrow (unless you were Incognito's last victor), but I do want to talk with you about something, so email me, if you would.

And, Clay, is that a jape? 

Seriously, I didn't mean to imply anything about your Ceramic DM contests.  It's just difficult for someone who has not participated in the Iron DM tourneys to understand exactly how hard it is to play, especially if you do well, and I wanted to stress that.  Going through the rounds really takes a toll on an entrant.  The victories deserve to be savored.


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## Rune

Rune said:
			
		

> *seasong, I'm not accepting entrants until tomorrow (unless you were Incognito's last victor)*




...Which appears to be the case, if Incognito didn't do a Spring Tourney.  My search didn't bring one up.  If he did, the winner should post here.  Otherwise, Seasong is definitely a contestant.


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## Mirth

Are you saying my victories weren't meant to be savored? NOOOOOO. I'm not ready to change my sig!


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## seasong

Rune said:
			
		

> *seasong, I'm not accepting entrants until tomorrow (unless you were Incognito's last victor),*



*Yup, that would be me. Weird, eh? I wouldn't have been, but he never ran a Spring competition (although Lightful did run an incomplete shot at it).




			but I do want to talk with you about something, so email me, if you would.
		
Click to expand...


Done.*


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## Rune

mirthcard said:
			
		

> *Are you saying my victories weren't meant to be savored? NOOOOOO. I'm not ready to change my sig!  *




Hey, Clay's the one who decides if your victories deserve to be savored or not, I'm a neutral bystander, here.


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## Ozmar

Hey, I am interested in learning more about this Iron DM thing?

Where can I go to read up on past contests and/or learn about the rules?

I might be interested in entering the contest, but I don't really know what I'd be getting myself into yet?

Ozmar the (Non-Iron) DM

(edit) Actually, nevermind! I just followed the links on the top of this post and I think I have the jist of it. 

This looks fun. I know you asked us to wait, but I'd like to sign up if that's ok. I'll try to jump in tomorrow once you've given the go-ahead for contestants and join that way.

Ozmar the Early Contestant Wanna-Be


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## seasong

A few past contests:

an early on by nemmerle
nemmerle's Holiday Iron DM
incognito's first IronDM
incognito's IronDM Winter


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## Rune

I'm glad to see that you want to be a contestant, Ozmar.  I hope you'll be on hand tomorrow, because these tournaments tend to fill up quickly.  Keep an eye out!

I want to be absolutely clear on this point: _Iron DM tournaments tend to fill up *very* quickly and it is for this reason that no entrants (other than the reigning champion, Seasong) will be considered until after I post on the subject tomorrow!  You will have to be online and ready tomorrow!_


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## WinnipegDragon

I'll see you here tomorrow, then


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## anonystu

Yeah, I'm going to have to send out my black ops team to keep track of Rune's schedule and post an alert whenever he gets within 5 feet of a computer tomorrow.

Although, of course, Rune could always take this one step better, and insist that tomorrow need not be the tomorrow which is in his time zone, but rather a Thursday in a timezone where it's already Thursday, in which case, he would foil my crack, but slow to mobilize black ops team. 

Curses! Foiled again!


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## anonystu

Yeah, I'm going to have to send out my black ops team to keep track of Rune's schedule and post an alert whenever he gets within 5 feet of a computer tomorrow.

Although, of course, Rune could always take this one step better, and insist that tomorrow need not be the tomorrow which is in his time zone, but rather a Thursday in a timezone where it's already Thursday, in which case, he would foil my crack, but slow to mobilize black ops team. 

Curses! Foiled again!


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## anonystu

Apparently, though, my power of duplication is still working. working. to bump. bump. the thread.


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## Rune

Glad to see you're all excited to get into this.

Ill be looking forward to your posts later today.

...But this is just a *bump*


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## The Forsaken One

Seriously thinking about participating....=]


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## Maldur

I am not entering, but I do like to wish everyone good luck on their entry


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## seasong

And remember, I'd like another feather in my cap, so stiff competition need not apply  

Good luck to everyone who wants to get in.


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## Rune

*IT'S TIME!*

Okay, post!


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## anonystu

In.


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## el-remmen

I'm in. . .    

Think I'll hop on the other side of the fence for this one.


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## Greybar

In!


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## anonystu

By the way, Rune, I would prefer, if it's possible to not go till Tuesday, as it were, although Monday wouldn't be too bad either. If this is a problem, let me know.


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## lightful

I'll play, better than organising !


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## WinnipegDragon

I want in please!


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## Wulf Ratbane

I am in if there is still room.

VA-VOOOOM!

Wulf in da hizzouse!

EDIT: Two nice things about this one... Not competing against Rune, and not having Nemm as judge.


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## el-remmen

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> EDIT: Two nice things about this one... Not competing against Rune, and not having Nemm as judge.  *




You're gonna pay for that. . .


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## cool hand luke

I'll give it a shot, (easy competition for seasong et al to dismantle.)


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## Rune

Well, we've got all the players, now all we need are alternates.

Here's who's playing:

*Seasong
anonystu
Nemmerle
Greybar
lightful
WinnipegDragon
Wulf Ratbane
cool hand luke*

Good luck to our contestants.  We'll begin when we have 3 alternates.


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## Ozmar

Fudge!

Well, put me in for an alternate, please...

Ozmar the Late Entrant


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## Rune

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *EDIT: Two nice things about this one... Not competing against Rune, and not having Nemm as judge.  *




What do you mean?  We never faced each other.

Or, are you just trying to suck up to the judge? 

It won't work, you know.  I intend to be quite _nemmerlesque_.


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## Pielorinho

Though I may regret it later, I'll put in as an alternate, too:  these things are as fun as they are timeconsuming.

Daniel


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## WinnipegDragon

Excellent.  I look forward to thrashing you all soundly!


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## ajanders

*Too late for an alternate*

Curses!
My mystic powers of divination have failed me.

...spellcasters really have been nerfed 
Can I still be an alternate?
aja


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## Rune

On the subject of alternates...

It is not uncommon for players to drop out during the course of the game due to time constraints.  It is not even unheard of for it to happen multiple times in a tournament.

That's where the alternates come in.  If it happens in the first round, a single alternate will be take the place of the person who dropped.  If it happens in the second round, two alternates will face off and the victor will take the position of the person who dropped.  If it happens in the third round, the other person becomes Iron DM Champion by default.

If a player drops out in the middle of his/her face-off, the other player will have the option to either accept the win, or face an alternate.

Good luck to our players and our alternates!


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## anonystu

Good luck to everybody!

Rune, if you're on a one-match-a-day schedule, then I could go today, although if it's a more expanded schedule, I still would prefer tuesday and such.


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## Rune

We have four alternates (so far).  This list may be as long as you all want to make it, but the top-most alternates are the ones that get in, if the situation arises.

The alternates are:

*Ozmar
Pielorinho
ajanders
Dave Turner*

We're ready.

I need to start hearing when we can do our first game.  Anonystu said s/he couldn't go 'till Tuesday.  Okay, but that's the absolute last first round game.


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## Rune

anonystu said:
			
		

> *Good luck to everybody!
> 
> Rune, if you're on a one-match-a-day schedule, then I could go today, although if it's a more expanded schedule, I still would prefer tuesday and such. *




I had preferred to do 2 a day, if possible, but your Tuesday stipulation threw me off.  We'll take it as it comes.  Do we have a challenger for anonystu TODAY?


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## cool hand luke

I'd prefer tomorrow, or monday, or tuesday, I'm out of town this weekend.

good grief I'm in over my head!


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## el-remmen

We get 24 hours right?  Well then I am good any time today. . .


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## Rune

Is anonystu vs. Nemmerle good?

I'll whip up some ingredients.


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## anonystu

That's fine with me. Let us commence this fair and honorable competition.

PS: Rune, what was your swiss bank account number again?

PPS: Nemmerle, where did you keep your core books again? Not waterproofed, right?


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## el-remmen

anonystu said:
			
		

> *
> 
> PPS: Nemmerle, where did you keep your core books again? Not waterproofed, right? *




Core Books?  I don't need any stinkin' core books to soundly thrash a n00b!


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## Pielorinho

I don't think you'd need them to be waterproofed, Nem.  Not unless you're keeping them in your pants pockets.

Daniel


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## anonystu

Ingredients:

core books
l33tspeak
n00b
messageboard
moderator
trash-talking

Result:

Whack-A-Troll: The PC's (moderators of 6th-8th levels) come upon a town aflame, where the babies are crying, women are tearing out their hair, and the men are brawling in the streets. The PC's find out that a rumor has started, a dire rumor that states a world-breaking crisis, from which the entire world may be plunged into darkness: spellcasters are going to be nerfed. Only quick thinking, diplomatic words, and nonstop and unrelenting violence can save the day and unravel the conspiracy.


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## lightful

*On Topic*

Saturday or Monday are good for me. Friday is game-day and Sunday is volleyball and after 4 hours in the sun I could be whipped by a girl (although I probably wouldn't feel it).


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## anonystu

Rune, just so you don't worry, I realize there's no editing of entries. Although it's not stated explicitly, is it part of your expectation, that like previous Iron DM's, that games will be fantasy D&D?


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## WinnipegDragon

I can start today.


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## Dave Turner

If there's still room, I'd like to be in!


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## cool hand luke

*Re: On Topic*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> *I could be whipped by a girl *




sounds like fun


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## lightful

*Off Topic*

_Circa_ 2 months ago I tried to find out if there was going to be a Spring Iron DM - no word. I asked if anyone would be intrested in hosting one or if they would object to me hosting one - no word. I decided to host one - I couldn't fill 8 spots, while here the places went faster then ants at an anteater convention. What gives ?

Is there some strange ENWorld handshake that I'm not privy to, or are a bunch of you guys friends in RL and I'm some faceless hyperspace intrusion ?

PS My last post was number 44 posted at 4:44

PPS I'm in Europe, GMT+1, so my days may only partially overlap with some of yours.


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## Wulf Ratbane

Any match that ENDS Friday nite through Sunday afternoon is good for my first round.

So a list of ingredients posted tonite through Saturday afternoon...?

BRING IT! Just... you know... bring it easy. I like to be amply greased on the first round.


Wulf


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## lightful

*Off Topic*

Wierd Double post


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## WinnipegDragon

*Re: Off Topic*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> *Is there some strange ENWorld handshake that I'm not privy to, or are a bunch of you guys friends in RL and I'm some faceless hyperspace intrusion ?
> *




Ha ha ha.  Of course not.  Don't be ridiculous.

_(Someone get the tranquilizer darts...)_


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## anonystu

*Re: Off Topic*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> *
> Is there some strange ENWorld handshake that I'm not privy to, or are a bunch of you guys friends in RL and I'm some faceless hyperspace intrusion ?
> *




In order:
Yes (the third arm part of it is pretty cool). 
Somewhat (I was introduced by various RL people from here). 
Not Sure (Can you send a picture?).

Organization of any thing is kind of sporadic, and prone to lots of factors outside an organizer's control. I mean, a few months back, I stopped posting because my wrists, flaky as there are, went from flaky to horrible. Now they're better, and I managed to catch this to be excited about and such.

So I wouldn't worry about there being some secret conspiracy: variance is high on organizing online.


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## lightful

*Not my kind of date*

You think you've got it figured out and then you mention little girls and whippings in the same sententce...and you're really never the same again afterwards.


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## Rune

anonystu said:
			
		

> *Rune, just so you don't worry, I realize there's no editing of entries. Although it's not stated explicitly, is it part of your expectation, that like previous Iron DM's, that games will be fantasy D&D? *




Unlike Judges in the past, I will not accept edited entries *under any circumstances.*  So don't do it.  I'm going to strictly adhere to that one.

As for expectations...no comment.

Trying to second-guess the judge is all part of the fun.


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## Rune

anonystu and Nemmerle, CHECK IN!

Anyone else want to go today?


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## lightful

anonystu, I'm sure you have a hell of a time managing that third arm part with your wrists being so bad and all  

Thanks for the quick run down of secret organisation gaffes !


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## anonystu

With regards to checking in: is there something else I need to do?


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## lightful

Off to yoga, make me a Saturday or Monday !

All the best to you all !


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## el-remmen

*Re: Off Topic*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> *Circa 2 months ago I tried to find out if there was going to be a Spring Iron DM - no word. I asked if anyone would be intrested in hosting one or if they would object to me hosting one - no word. I decided to host one - I couldn't fill 8 spots, while here the places went faster then ants at an anteater convention. What gives ?
> 
> Is there some strange ENWorld handshake that I'm not privy to, or are a bunch of you guys friends in RL and I'm some faceless hyperspace intrusion ?
> *




I think it is just that there are a handful of people associated with IRON DM - people who have played it often (like Wicht and Wulf),  people who have judged them either here or one other boards (like Phoamslinger or Incognito) so when someone who's name others might not recognize in relation to IRON DM goes to start one - I can see people being hesitant to get involved - esp. when it doesn require some effort and dedication by the participants and the judge, so an unknown factor may make some not invest that time - the best way to overcome that is to just get involved in playing when it happens. . .  Which you are doing now, right?

Had you ever even entered an IRON DM tourney?


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## el-remmen

Check.


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## Rune

*Round 1, match 1: anonystu vs. Nemmerle*

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)

*Claustrophobic mind flayer
Sinking ship
Empty chest
Sacrificial altar
Pleasant villa
Insane mentor*

You have exactly 24 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck.


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## WinnipegDragon

Rune said:
			
		

> *anonystu and Nemmerle, CHECK IN!
> 
> Anyone else want to go today? *




Yup yup yup...


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## cool hand luke

wow, I've read some of the older contests, the entries are impressive.


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## Rune

Next up, today.  WinnipegDragon and...who?


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## seasong

*Re: Off Topic*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> _Circa_ 2 months ago I tried to find out if there was going to be a Spring Iron DM - no word. I asked if anyone would be intrested in hosting one or if they would object to me hosting one - no word. I decided to host one - I couldn't fill 8 spots, while here the places went faster then ants at an anteater convention. What gives ?



A few things, I think.

1) Nemmerle's the guy who came up with it, so it's always good to have his handshake on running one. Rune asked and got it, and I'm sure that had something to do with it - it makes it seem less like a one-off (take a look at participation in the Home Games for that) and more like a continuing of the tradition.

2) Rune's competed in these several times. He's well known for his participation (and good entries!), and that counts for a lot in terms of being willing to let him judge me.

3) I think Spring was honestly too soon since the last one. Incognito had some ambitious plans, but I think that one ever 4-6 months is a better schedule. It simply takes too much time and energy invested, and two months ago I was having problems just having time for ENWorld at all.

4) You'll note that two of the three above involve reputation. While you may well be the best judge prior to Armageddon, I don't know you from Adam . Jumping into a contest like this is a huge time investment, and is therefore risky. The more risks that are piled on, the fewer people will be interested, and an unknown judge is a pretty big risk.



> Is there some strange ENWorld handshake that I'm not privy to, or are a bunch of you guys friends in RL and I'm some faceless hyperspace intrusion ?



Give yourself time. And work on building a rep, first . Ya gotta be made, man, before youse can be Made Man.


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## seasong

Rune: I'll take a slot today if there is one, still.

_Edit: That is, I'll take on WinnipegDragon, sure . Good luck WinnipegDragon!_


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## el-remmen

*Re: Round 1, match 1: anonystu vs. Nemmerle*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)
> 
> Claustrophobic mind flayer
> Sinking ship
> Empty chest
> Sacrificial alter
> Pleasant villa
> Insane mentor
> 
> *




SWEET!  I got an idea already - thank you. ..


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## Rune

Next up, WinnipegDragon vs. Seasong, TODAY!

CHECK IN!

Anyone else want to go today?


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## seasong

Check.


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## WinnipegDragon

Check...

Check...

One, two....

Check...


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## Rune

*Round 1, match 2: WinnipegDragon vs. Seasong*

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)

*Sphinx
Maze
Bag of tricks
Waterlogged totem
Paranoid city
Harpy*

You have exactly 24 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck.


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## WinnipegDragon

seasong said:
			
		

> *Rune: I'll take a slot today if there is one, still.
> 
> Edit: That is, I'll take on WinnipegDragon, sure . Good luck WinnipegDragon! *




Same to you 

I must admit that I'm glad we didn't get the Claustrophobic Mind Flayer...


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## cool hand luke

good deal, I've gotten to see Seasongs incredible rules knowledge in his GoD (how's round 1 coming?)
now I get to see his creative side.


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## Rune

A couple of people posted at the same time as me.

Seasong and WinnipegDragon, I want to make sure you see your ingredients.  Check my last post.

Now, does anyone else want to play today?


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## seasong

Rune: I saw the ingredients. They look fun .

WinnipegDragon: Heh. Yes. I can't wait to see what the mindflayer develops into.

cool hand luke: Thanks .

Well, I'm out of this thread until I post. Don't want to accidentally see WinnipegDragon's entry!


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## Ozmar

I am in and around if you decide you need an alternate.

I'll be following the proceedings eagerly in the hopes that I get a chance to participate.

Ozmar the Eager Contestant Wanna-Be

(P.S. I'll be available today and tomorrow, and check in periodically on Saturday and Sunday and be available all next week.)

(Ozmar the Available Alternate)


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## Rune

Ozmar, you're at the top of the alternate list (check the first page).  You'll need to pay attention to the tourney all the way through the second round.  After that, no alternates will be able to replace players dropping out.


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## Ozmar

Yessir! Will do.

Ozmar the Agreeable


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## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Round 1, match 1: anonystu vs. Nemmerle*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)
> 
> *Claustrophobic mind flayer
> Sinking ship
> Empty chest
> Sacrificial alter
> Pleasant villa
> Insane mentor*




Dear GOD what I could do with those... I love it when the ref makes interesting spelling mistakes. Helps you go outside the box.

Pleasant Villa... Pancho's good-lookin' sister? 

Rune, as I said above, I am ready "today"-ish if you post the ingredients later in the afternoon/evening. I get off work at noon tomorrow so any matchup that starts between, say 3 and 8 pm tonite would be just fine for me.


Wulf


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## Wulf Ratbane

Ozmar, don't give up hope. You would be surprised how many alternates make it in.


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## Rune

Wulf, I made no spelling mistake.  And villa has multiple meanings.

Okay, so we have, tentatively, Wulf Ratbane and...who?  TODAY!


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## cool hand luke

I'll go, I'm going to get smoked anyway.


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## Rune

Okay, so the next match is Wulf vs. cool hand luke.

Wulf isn't available until 3 (what timezone?), so I'll call for a check-in at that time.  Stay tuned!

As a side note, do the other two contestants want to go today, too?  I can do it.


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## Pielorinho

Rune said:
			
		

> *Wulf, I made no spelling mistake.  And villa has multiple meanings.*




But does "alter"?

Daniel


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## Rune

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *
> 
> But does "alter"?
> 
> Daniel *




Crap.  Okay, you got me on that one.  It should read "altar."  Ideally.


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## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Crap.  Okay, you got me on that one.  It should read "altar."  Ideally. *




Nope. Sorry. No editing of posts. No exceptions.

I await two fantastic tales detailing this sacrificial alter. It's a viable ingredient!


Wulf


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## cool hand luke

alter:
To change or make different; modify: altered my will. 
To adjust (a garment) for a better fit. 
To castrate or spay (an animal, such as a cat or a dog). 



darn, I was looking forward to seeing alter used.  I think the last definition could really create an interesting story.


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## cool hand luke

wulf, 
you going to be good to go at three, and commence to kicking my butt?


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## Wulf Ratbane

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *alter:
> To change or make different; modify: altered my will.
> To adjust (a garment) for a better fit.
> To castrate or spay (an animal, such as a cat or a dog).
> 
> darn, I was looking forward to seeing alter used.  I think the last definition could really create an interesting story. *




Yep... I had visions of someone taking one for the team and putting on the Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity. 

Best not to talk any more about it though, let's not ruin the ingredients for the competitors.

I will be ready anytime after 3 PM Eastern. That's a little over 2 hours from now.


Wulf


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## Rune

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Nope. Sorry. No editing of posts. No exceptions.
> 
> I await two fantastic tales detailing this sacrificial alter. It's a viable ingredient!
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Too late, I've already changed it.  However, I've been known to make creative use of misspelled ingredients in the past...

Also, to confirm, Wulf are you good to go at 3 Eastern time?  Or even now, since you're around?


----------



## cool hand luke

I have a meeting from now until about 3 p.m. central, (4 eastern) then I'm good to go.


----------



## anonystu

Whoa. 

I came back here after some procrastination at work to copy and paste the ingredients to send to my home email, and suddenly, my sacrificial /alter/ is gone! 

I can start over, I guess, but this editing of ingredients sabotages what I was doing pretty heavily.


----------



## Rune

If you want, anonystu, use either one of them, or use them both.

Wulf Ratbane and cool hand luke, I'll call for a check in at 4pm. Eastern time.

Anytime I make a mistake like that in the ingredients lists, I'll not penalize anybody for using my mistake against me.  I'll alter my mistake in the list, if it's caught, but I won't expect you to adhere to my alteration if you've got plans with the original.

Fair?


----------



## anonystu

Sounds like a quite reasonable precedent to me to set. I thought it was a misspelling from the start, but came up with something interesting based on it, and well, you'll see tomorrow.

Okay, I'm going thread-deaf from here on out. See you tomorrow!


----------



## Talix

Cool, I look forward to watching another excellent competition!  

Hopefully there won't be anyone disqualified this time - make sure you read the rules, and look over past contests for advice (for instance, the last one I observed had someone get disqualified for plagiarism).

Good luck to all the participants!


----------



## Rune

Talix said:
			
		

> *Cool, I look forward to watching another excellent competition!
> 
> Hopefully there won't be anyone disqualified this time - make sure you read the rules, and look over past contests for advice (for instance, the last one I observed had someone get disqualified for plagiarism).
> 
> Good luck to all the participants!   *




Could you provide a link, perhaps?  I don't remember seeing that.


----------



## Pielorinho

IIRC, someone used the ingredients to basically retell the Wizard of Oz.  They saw it as a clever homage, but other people interpreted it as plagiarism.  The judge first called it plagiarism and then backed off, instead saying that plagiarism or not, it didn't portray the originality he was looking for.  Me, I thought it wasn't plagiarism (since the contestant clearly knew everyone would recognize the allusion) and was a pretty clever gimmick, but wasn't clever enough to outweigh the opposition entry.

I'll see if I can dig up a link.

Daniel


----------



## Rune

Oh, I do remember that.  I wouldn't have called it plagiarism, either, but it _was_ dangerous ground to tread.

A link would still be helpful, though.  That was one of Incognito's tournaments, wasn't it?


----------



## Pielorinho

Here it is.  Howandwhy99's story was an homage to The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, not to the Wizard of Oz, as I'd remembered.

Daniel


----------



## Rune

Incidentally, incognito, if you're out there, check in, please.

We haven't seen you in half a year, and we're worried about you.


----------



## cool hand luke

I'm back, and good to go at anytime.


----------



## cool hand luke

yikes, I read some of wulfs former contributions, and rate myself as a heavy underdog.


----------



## Rune

Okay.  Wulf Ratbane and cool hand luke, CHECK IN, please!


----------



## cool hand luke

here



and incredibly nervous.


----------



## Greybar

*Fire when ready!*

I'm here and ready to go any-ole-time.  Sooner the better and all that.  Just wish my subscriptions to threads was working right.  At least I'm getting the subs for Seasong's story hour. 

John


----------



## Rune

Since Wulf hasn't checked back in, this match will be cool hand luke vs. Greybar!

CHECK IN, I'll provide ingredients in a minute.

Wulf's round will have to wait on lightful, but I'm ready today, if the two of you are.


----------



## cool hand luke

here


----------



## Rune

Rune said:
			
		

> *Since Wulf hasn't checked back in, this match will be cool hand luke vs. Greybar!
> 
> CHECK IN, I'll provide ingredients in a minute.
> 
> Wulf's round will have to wait on lightful, but I'm ready today, if the two of you are. *




Let me rephrase.  This match will be cool hand luke vs. Wulf Ratbane OR Greybar, depending on which one of them CHECKS IN first!  So CHECK IN!


----------



## Greybar

okay, checking in...


----------



## Rune

*Round 1, match 3: cool hand luke vs. Greybar*

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)

*Bungling adept
Secret cove
Unsavory stew
Ioun stone
Carpet shop
Ooze*

You have exactly 24 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck.


----------



## cool hand luke

as charlie brown would say "good grief"

I'm at a total loss here.


----------



## Greybar

so, trying to remember here, were there rules (or traditions) that one would only be using elements from a given ruleset (or the SRD)?

Theoretically I'd like any ENWorld reader to be able to pick up these outlines of adventurers and run them on the next weekend with her players, but my mind was drifting away from the SRD just now...

John


----------



## WinnipegDragon

*A Legacy Beneath*

Here we go...   This is longish...

*Iron DM – Summer 2003
Round 1 – WinnipegDragon

Ingredients:*
Sphinx
Maze
Bag of tricks
Waterlogged Totem
Paranoid City
Harpy

*A Legacy Beneath – An Adventure for 6th-8th Level Characters

Synopsis:*
A mystery beneath the waves beckons.

Wicenna, a Harpy, is a most unusual creature.  Born of a race whose very purpose for being is the torment and domination of others, she excelled at these arts and exceeded the ability of those around her.  Wicenna was crueler and more persuasive than the rest of her flock, and she soon left them behind to follow her own dreams and desires.  These dreams would become the nightmares of the City of Wadith.  Wicenna has developed her own innate magic, and is now an accomplished Sorceress with a lust for power and control.

Wadith is a smallish city in the northern part of the world, nestled at the southern tip of a Haloun Bay, a salty body of water that opens to the oceans even further north.  The city is divided into ‘Quarters’, one for merchants, one for temples and stately homes, another for commoners, craftsmen and their shops, and the last is ‘Sprayside’ also known as the fishing quarter.  The hardworking men and women of Sprayside make their living netting and hauling in valuable oilfish in the summer, and survive the winter by cracking through the vast sheets of ice and dropping lines and hooks to snare smaller fish.  Now, though, the quarter is beset by misery and woe.  The fisherman haul in empty nets whenever they dare to set sail, and those that set foot in the streets or try to leave the quarter are found mysteriously slain by wild beasts.  The Mayor has sealed all entrances and exits to the quarter, and has declared it a cursed area.  As a final tragedy, the towns famed diviner Paedraig can no longer summon his magical sight.

What the adventurers do not know is that Wicenna is behind all of these troubles, and that Wadith rests on the waters above an ancient site of primal magical power.  In Wadith’s attempts to unlock this power, she has brought suffering to Wadith and its people, and she has trapped herself beneath the waves of Haloun Bay.  The adventurers must find out what lies behind the troubles in Wadith.

*Character Hooks*
Any Druid or Ranger in the party is informed by those in their circles that the natural order is out of balance in a village called Wadith.  It is requested that they gather their companions and set the natural order straight.

Any Clerics or Paladins in the party are asked to investigate the claims of divine sight by a northerner named Paedraig.  Paedraig does seem capable of discovering hidden histories, items and truths, but he does so in the name of the character’s God.  The church does not believe Paedraig’s claims, and wants him investigated.

While traveling, the party encounters a wounded woman on the road.  She is barely clinging to life, and she appears to have been mauled by a large animal (a great cat, or possibly a bear).  She tells the party that her city, Wadith, is under a horrible curse, and perishes if the party cannot immediately help her.  Either way, they become aware of strange things happening in Wadith.

*Scene One:  Wadith*
The party finally arrives at Wadith, a smallish city, of just over 1,000 people.  The village is built on the rocky shores of Haloun Bay, and is surrounded by a solid palisade.  The city is divided by two wooden walls, which intersect like a cross, and neatly sections it into quarters.  At the centre of the cross is a large courtyard wherein is the Mayors home, in reality a small stone keep and tower built here by a minor Baron, Erdrick the Fourth of Haloun, hundreds of yours ago.  Each quarter has a large gate leading to the two adjacent quarters as well as the opening at the centre of the city.  

Approaching the city, the walls are all guarded and there appears to be few people coming or going.  The great gates of the palisade are heavily guarded by a group of rag-tag militiamen, and an officer who seems more competent.  If the party is escorting the wounded woman from the character hooks, she will be gathered up the guards and admonished for disobeying the Mayors orders and leaving Sprayside.  Regardless of whether she is traveling with the party, the gate guards are very suspicious, and seem at the point of drawing their weapons at all times.  The officer, a fellow by the name of Artanis, will question the party relentlessly, and ranting and raving about the curse that is closing in from all sides, even as they speak.

The party can gain entry through excellent diplomacy, a promise to investigate the curse, or even by climbing the walls under cover of night, if they so desire.  Once inside, they can explore the quarters of the city.

The Market, as the merchant’s quarter is known, is almost a bustling city unto itself.  Dozens of people move about with speed and purpose, in all manner of local and foreign dress.  Something seems amiss though, as the marketplace is clearly built to accommodate many more people than are currently there.  Stalls are empty, and the wide roads seem much too large to handle as little traffic as they do now.  Questioning any foreigners reveals little, only that for those willing to face the curse that these people fear, prices have never been better.  The locals tell a little more, that the curse is centered in Sprayside, and that the fishing industry is decimated by a tide that will not recede and currents that have gone all ‘wrong’.

The Temple Quarter is expectedly grand, although a city of this size has only two true temples, and a number of shrines.  Some of the larger homes are thus relegated to this quarter, and help to increase the sense of grandness in general.  Most of the valuable homes are simply stopovers for merchants who brave the dangerous roads to the far north, bringing back valuable minerals and furs to the lands to the south.  The merchants here are not interested in chatting with wanderers unless they are interested in buying raw metals or furs, but the Priests of the temples are more enlightening.  They are upset that Paedraig, the Seer, suddenly cannot see.  They have come to rely on Paedraig to handle simple divinations so that they can be thoroughly devoted to caring for their patrons and parishioners.  In any event, none of them have gained enough to divine favour (i.e. they are not a high enough level) to use magic as powerful as he had.  As such, there is little that they can do about the curse.

The Commons, as the commoners quarter is called, is very much less impressive, mostly occupied by small homes, smiths and shops.  Those that live in the Commons are generally physical labourers or simple craftsmen, but there are few individuals whose talents shine enough to warrant a shop in the Market.  The smithies here do solid work, and can produce most any standard item the party might need.  Most of the people here can provide similar information as those in the marketplace.  Some will also speak about the current orders of the Mayor:  Sprayside is to be sealed.  None within are to leave their homes until the curse can be dealt with.

Sprayside itself is an incredible place.  Most of the quarter consists of large wooden poles strapped together like rafts.  Upon these rafts are built the homes and shops of the fisherman and their families.  Long poles are driven into the water, and presumably the rock below, to anchor the rafts against strong waves and wind.  Getting in to Sprayside is difficult without the permission of the Mayor or his wife.  The guards here are stacked three deep and are genuinely terrified of whatever is within Sprayside, and possibly letting it out.  It would take a very high Intimidation or Diplomacy check to gain entry, but they are somewhat easier to Bluff.  Ideally, the party needs to sneak in, Bluff their way in, or forge or gain written permission from the Mayor.  Once inside, the party finds a ghost town.  Scared faces peek from behind tattered curtains, only to disappear if noticed.  The suspended planks that serve as walkways are entirely empty of people.  Knocking on doors provides no assistance as no one will answer.  The party could break in to one of these homes but inside the people are so panicked that they would likely rather fight for their lives, or jump into the water and risk drowning.  Anyone cornered can only really confirm what should already be known about the curse.

As they wander about Sprayside, eventually the party will hear singing.  Investigating reveals a salty old fellow at the farthest reaches of the docks, sitting with his feet dangling in the water, mending a series of hook-lines and nets as he sings his sea shanties.  He is glad to talk and introduces himself as Jebadan, or more simply Ol’ Jeb.  Jeb can fill in a few more details about the curse, specifically the following things:

-	The currents have changed.  The water seems to be flowing in to shore, not out towards the ocean as usual.
-	The tide is as high as anyone has ever seen it, and it hasn’t receded in almost a week.
-	There are no fish in the bay suddenly; no one has caught one since the tides and currents shifted.
-	The guards at the Mayor’s orders stop people who try to leave their homes.  Many who try to sneak away at night are found killed in the morning.  They seem to be mauled by animals, strangely enough.
-	Something is walking the planks of Sprayside at night.  People have heard it, but none dare leave their homes to see who or what it is.

Jeb can offer little more information, but he wishes that Paedraig could help.  Jeb himself is not afraid of the curse, in his own words, “I reckon’ that a man can reach a point in his life where he has lived long enough.  I don’ think, howe’er, that he can reach a point where he has fished enough!”

*Scene Two:  The Mayor*
The adventurers may wish to approach the Mayor at this point.  They are free to do so, and can proceed to the keep at the heart of the town if they so desire.  The keep and tower are made of stone quarried to the south and moved north at great expense, and although the Barony of Haloun is long dissolved, it is still the seat of power for the city of Wadith.

A Knowledge (Local History) or research and divination spells will reveal the origin of the town and the keep.  Erdrick, Fourth of Haloun was a minor Baron whose fiefdom encompassed most of the shore and land surrounding Haloun Bay.  This location was chosen by Erdrick’s advisor, a wizard named Abathas, as the site for his keep.  Historically, there is little of interest to know beyond this, expect for the fate of Abathas.  It is said that one night, he set sail into the centre of the bay and attempted some incantation that he thought would increase his own powers tenfold or more.  The lake is said to have roared at his words, and a pillar of water smashed his boat.  Abathas disappeared and his body never washed upon the shores of Haloun Bay.

The Mayor, Valyn Sandshore, and his wife Coredia, are gracious hosts.  They gladly speak to the adventurers about the curse although both are clearly unsettled by it.  They can provide all of the information that can be gathered in the various quarters, but they will not address the rumours of something walking through Sprayside at night.  They feel it is the by-product of minds already stressed by the deaths and lack of fish.

If the party requests it, Valyn will also provide the history detailed above, but leaves out the death of Abathas.  If the party is aware of this, he will simply state that it was an oversight on his part or he will feign ignorance on the subject.

During any conversation, the party can notice via Spot checks or Sense Motive checks, that the Mayor is slightly defensive, as if he is offended by the questioning.  He also seems to be very weary and withdrawn.  Coredia, on the other hands seems wary, but mostly of her husband.  She tries to make eye contact with any party member whom seems particularly trustworthy, a cleric or paladin preferably.

Getting the Mayor to give access to Sprayside is difficult.  He resists any outside help, saying that this is an issue for Wadith alone to deal with.  He says that he appreciates the party’s concern, but that if they enter Sprayside and leave, they may carry the taint of the curse with them, and poison the rest of the city.

The real reason for his refusal is that he is doing the bidding of Wicenna.  He fell under the sway of her song while walking along the shore one day at the bidding of a charmed commoner who led him to Wicenna, and then his will was crushed by a charm enchantment cast on him by the Harpy.  Her orders to him were to keep the people of Sprayside trapped and under control so that she could seek out a mysterious power beneath the bay.  In order to help him keep the people under control, she gave him a Bag of Tricks (Tan) and instructed him in its use.  The creatures summoned forth from the bag are used to kill anyone who might try to escape and seek help, thus revealing Wicenna’s presence.

At this point, the Adventurers have few leads.  Wicenna, however, has ordered Valyn to send anyone who insists on helping to Paedraig.  Additionally, if the party notices Coredia’s wariness towards her husband and approaches her separately, she will give them a pass to search in Sprayside, claiming that her husband is too over-stressed to see a helping hand when it is offered.  She requires assurances that the Adventurers will not tell Valyn about this, as she finds him to be distant and unpredictable as of late.

*Scene Three:  Paedraig and Simunesha*
Paedraig has a home in the Temple Quarter, and anyone can point out the location to the party.  Paedraig’s home is large and very well appointed.  A sign nailed to the front door simply reads, “Go Away”.  Forceful knocking will rouse the Seer, but he will be very unpleasant, if not downright hostile, towards the party.  If the party says that they have been sent by the Mayor, or otherwise refuses to leave until speaking with him, Paedraig will eventually relent and speak with the group.

Paedraig will not directly confirm or deny the veracity of his visionary gifts, but will agree that he has lost his ability for the time being, due to the curse.  If the party seems interested in helping him via a Diplomacy check, or Intimidates him, he will agree to take the party to his secret grotto, where he divines answers.  He will assure the group that he has lost his muse, regardless of what they might do.

Paedraig leads the group out of Wadith to the west, staying close to the shoreline.  The shore eventually becomes more broken and jagged, and finally ends at the foot of some great hills that have been slashed away and eroded by billions and billions of waves.  Hidden amongst the cracks and crevices of the stone, a dark cavern leads into the base of one particularly majestic hill about three miles west of the city.  Inside, Paedraig lights a lantern that is hidden near the entrance, and leads the group further in, muttering about his ‘lost muse’.

The cavern opens into a natural chamber, around which stand four more lanterns backed by polished steel reflectors.  The room is very bright but nothing can be seen within.  At this point, Paedraig screams something about ‘death in the light’, drops his lantern and runs straight ahead, moving to hide behind one of the reflectors, just as the party is set upon by Myshyr, a Hellcat currently employed by Wicenna.  The fight should be difficult, but not impossible to overcome if the party realizes that the light is allowing their foe to hide from them.  If the party retreats to the entrance, Myshyr will follow and risk losing his invisibility to ensure that no survivors escape to tell their tale.

Once Myshyr is slain, Paedraig will begin to sob tears of relief.  Assuming the Adventurers stop to listen to his story, he will reveal the truth.  He led them to the trap under fear of death, but he is glad that the Hellcat could be defeated.  A more important revelation is that he is not a diviner, but his lover is.

Hidden behind one of the reflectors is another passage.  Following the passage along, Paedraig leads them to a chamber wherein resides Simunesha, a Gynosphinx and Paedraig’s unusual lover.  Simunesha is badly hurt, having been defeated by Myshyr and Wicenna, and Myshyr has since kept her in a state of near death.  Paedraig is thankful that she is alive, as he was under threat of death if he had revealed the truth.

Paedraig saw Valyn become ensnared by Wicenna as he was going to visit Simunesha.  Simunesha agreed to use her spell like abilities to allow Paedraig to feign divine sight, and he promised to bring her books and tomes bought with the wealth he earned.  No one knew of this secret, but with Myshyr in her employ, Wicenna tracked Paedraig and discovered Simunesha.  The sphinx was quickly subdued and Paedraig threatened, lending more force to the story of the curse to be spread within Wadith.

With Paedraig ‘powerless’, and Valyn killing those who tried to leave Sprayside, Wicenna was free to pursue the power under Haloun Bay.  As a thank you, the weakened Simunesha uses her locate object ability to find the party a stash of Potions of Water Breathing that the Mayor kept on hand to salvage wrecked ships but has since hidden on Wicenna’s orders.

Simunesha also tells the party about the fate of Abathas, Erdrick’s wizard, and the location where he attempted to cast his spell.  The core of the spell she does not know, but she has heard of a riddle about the spell that intrigued her:

	Ravaged by the driving torrent,
	False sky above, the rock beneath,
	A hundred turns about the centre,
	The older powers here bequeath.

Abathas failed to find the centre,
	Now lost forever in his tomb,
	The path is there for those to find,
	The water leads you through the gloom.

*Scene Four:  Finding the Harpy*
The party can opt, at this point, to return to Wadith and reveal Valyn’s transgressions (coerced as they are), or they can opt to find Wicenna immediately.  If they return to reveal the Mayor, it is a simple matter to convince his wife that she needs to search for the bag in question.  She can find it easily enough, and showing the militia it’s use will convince them that the Adventurer’s are speaking the truth.  Those in Sprayside will be free to leave their homes and go about their daily lives.

Once the potions are found, the party can descend into the depths of the bay.  Assuming they head towards the middle of the bay and the location noted by Simunesha, they eventually enter a most astonishing location.  If they are walking along the bottom, in the centre of the bay they suddenly find that they are no longer surrounded by water.  In fact, if they are swimming, they start to feel as strong current and the loss of buoyancy and are swept away from the direct centre of the bay and towards the shoreline.  Either way, they end up on the bottom of the bay about a thousand feet from the centre of the bay.

The ‘dry’ area is not truly dry.  In fact the adventurers are pelted with droplets of water from above as if they were in a torrential rainstorm, and there is a good foot of water sitting above the sand and rock of the bay’s floor.  As they walk forward, the true nature of this place is revealed.  There is a vast ‘cavern’ in the water, and at the centre a spike of light shoots upward, highlighting a massive pillar of water is shooting up from the floor of the bay at phenomenal speed before arcing outward like a fountain.  The characters are, for lack of a better description, ‘inside’ the fountain’s arc of water.  Whether by magic or sheer speed and force of the water, the area within is pelted with water but not filled.  Regardless the noise is deafening and disorienting and the constant spray of water makes vision difficult.  Without the spike of light, even the enormous pillar of water would be invisible at this distance.

In a disheartening sight, the pillar seems to be at the centre of a massive maze of rock, smashed ships and coral with walls as high as twenty feet.  The stones and coral are sharp, making climbing a deadly proposition, and the downpour makes natural flying impossible, as Wicenna discovered.  

The foot of water at the character’s feet is packed with fish and flowing very swiftly.  This explains the last two ‘curses’.  The fish are trapped by the suction of the pillar in the centre of the maze and cannot free themselves.  This suction is also keeping water in the bay, accounting for the unusual high tide encountered by those in Sprayside.  This is the key to the maze.  The pillar is literally sucking water from the floor of the bay and spewing it upwards.  Following the currents of the water will lead them through the twists and turns of the maze, and to the heart of the maze without the need to actually map the entire area.

Abathas never figured out the key to the maze, and at one point the party will pass a set of bones that were once the court wizard of the Barony of Haloun.  Unfortunately for Wicenna, she also did not solve the riddle of the maze, and she now wanders it seeking the power hidden at the centre.

At some point, the party will cross paths with Wicenna.  She is in no mood to parlay, having been trapped within the maze for nearly a week already.  As the party engages her, she will try a few times to dry her wings enough to fly, but she will be unable to.  She will lean heavily on her song, and her enchantment magic while making ‘hit and run’ attacks.  All spells with a verbal component will have a 25% chance of spell failure in the incredible din of rushing water.

With her inability to fly and the spell failure chance, she should not be too difficult a match for higher-level PCs.  For lower level PCs or groups smaller than four characters, raise the spell failure rate to 35% or even 50%.

*Conclusion*
Once Wicenna is defeated, the party can travel to the centre of the maze unimpeded.  A huge totem pole, carved to resemble a school of fish, dominates the centre of the maze.  At the top, a single large carved fish sits; it’s mouth pointed upward and the jet of water and light streams forward from within it.  At the base of the pole, all of the smaller carved fish seem to be sucking the water from the floor at an alarming rate.

Once approached, the totem pole begins to speak with a deep booming voice that resonates off of the distant wall of water.  As each word is spoken, a different carved fish or group of fish animates and moves it’s mouth in time with the word.

The totem warns that the power contained within was not meant for mortals, and that it must rest until a new God can come and claim it’s magic.  A wise party will accept this, and the totem will summon an Elder Water Elemental to return the party to the shoreline.  Should they insist that the power be given to them, they are killed outright by the magnitude of the magic channeled in to them.

In either case, the totem has served it’s purpose, and slows the flow of the pillar of water until it ceases entirely, and returns to it’s rest. The tide is returned to it’s normal state, and the suction ceases to trap the fish below.  The party is hailed as the saviours of the city, and all of the charms and enchantments laid by Wicenna cease upon her death.

*Primary NPCs*
Wicenna, Female Harpy/Sorcerer 6
Simunesha, Gynosphinx
Paedraig the Seer, Male Elf Com2
Myshyr, Male Devil (Hellcat)
Valyn Sandshore, Male Human Com3, Mayor of Wadith
Coredia Sandshore, Female Human Com2, Wife of Valyn


----------



## WinnipegDragon

I wanted to ask if I could post an RTF but I was afraid of seeing Seasong's post.  Sorry for the hugeness.


----------



## lightful

*He who waits...*

seasong and nemmerle: Thanks for the replies, I kind of thought it was something along those lines. I did in fact ask (and most humbly) nemmerle's permission, but recieved no response. Taking silence to mean acceptence I went on ahead...Can you tell I went to Law School

_Doesn't seasong come across as the mooost reasonable person...I'm sure he's a raving loon and all, but still..._  

It looks like I'm up against Wulf. You'd think I'd be worried, right ? And in truth Wulf is probably one of the best when it comes to pure creativity and I really respect that. But, he always seems to end up with the fuzzy end of the lollipop, doesn't he ? Even his PC's end up the same way (I'm guessing that Galthia's staff has a pretty fuzzy end...or perhaps it's fuzzy all over) 

Rune, looking at Wulf's schedule and mine I'd say that the best time to post our ingredients would be ...between midnight and 4 am EST Saturday, or you could post them earlier, but not before 8 pm EST Friday. How's that sound ?

(You can tell that I'm still pining to organise one of these contests)

PS> See, I'm establishing a rep. I've slightly rebuked nemmerle for bad manners, cast doubt on seasongs sanity, called Wulf a wuss and told Rune how to go about his competition. Not bad for one posts work !


----------



## Rune

Greybar said:
			
		

> *so, trying to remember here, were there rules (or traditions) that one would only be using elements from a given ruleset (or the SRD)?
> 
> Theoretically I'd like any ENWorld reader to be able to pick up these outlines of adventurers and run them on the next weekend with her players, but my mind was drifting away from the SRD just now...
> 
> John *




I'll just repeat myself, here:



> *As for expectations...no comment.
> 
> Trying to second-guess the judge is all part of the fun.*


----------



## lightful

Hey Rune, I was wondering, could Wulf and I have a peck, er, halfling paladin as one of our ingredients ?


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## Wulf Ratbane

Let me just sound off with a huge *WHAT THE F---?*

I was expecting to just log on and pick up my ingredients this morning-- expected them to be posted as announced at 4:00 pm yesterday. I took the judge's announcement as the final word. What a friggin snafu. 

I guess I am ready _whenever_ at this point.

For the record, I just can't log in constantly (complicated somewhat by a recent break-in and laptop theft), so if I manage to log on and set a time window for ingredients, please accept that as my official check in and pull the frigga-bleepin trigger already.

If that doesn't work for the judge or my competitor, it's time to pull up an alternate for me.

But I am ready now... calling the competition...


Wulf


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## Rune

Sorry for the confusion, Wulf.  I didn't realize you were in such a bind.  My bad.  I just wanted to make sure that you weren't shorted on time, since every minute can be crucial in the ole' Iron DM.

I'll consider you checked in.

lightful, CHECK IN!


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## lightful

As I said yesterday Saturday would have been MUCH better ! (I've got a game tonight), but if we're in a bind send the ingredients over.

All the best


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## Rune

*Wulf and lightful,*

I'm considering you both checked-in in advance.

I'll post your ingredients at 8PM Eastern, TONIGHT!

I will _not_ call for another check-in for this match.

So, both of you might want to check the thread at that time.


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## lightful

*Works for me*

I'll be getting home from my game right about then.
Thanks


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## anonystu

*IRON DM Summer 2003 - Round 1 - anonystu*

*Ingredients:*

sacrificial alter (using the initial misspelling)
pleasant villa
insane mentor 
claustrophobic mind flayer
sinking ship 
empty chest


*Custody Battles:* a d20 modern adventure for characters of low-mid level.

*Summary:* When two married agents' relationship hits the skids, who gets to keep the kid mind flayers?

*Briefing:*
The PC's are briefed by their usual Department-7 contact. They are briefed about Mariana and Jamison D'Essis, a married couple in Miami,Florida. Both work for D7:  Jamison as an ops team leader, and Mariana as one of our research specialists, having done major work in trying to reform the illithid population through genetic and behaviorial therapy. Their beach house villa conceals Mariana's lab, where she does her work for us. Last night, that lab was attacked by as yet unknown forces using psionics: Mariana had her mind damaged in the attack, and her lab was ransacked, her subjects stolen. Police came by shortly after, and Mariana was taken off to the psychiatric ward of the local hospital for safe keeping. Jamison has requested a team to free her from the ward, so he can get to the bottom of who attacked his wife. End official story. The next part is considered black : our very high ranking agents (which includes Mariana, but not Jamison), have mental protections on them to prevent critical data from getting out: one of these scrambles a person's mental functions, and transports them to a safe place if they are psionically threatened. Also, along with this, we've noticed a very suspicious string of transactions coming in and out of an offshore account Jamison was hiding: we think he's most likely compromised. Your mission is to free Mariana, protect her from whatever forces are at work, find those forces, and recover the subjects.

*Overview:*
The PC's then proceed to attempt to free Mariana from the hospital. The plan given is that they are not to recover Mariana, but rather are to make a switch, giving the recovery van a clone, while they recover to an alternate point  the real Mariana. If the PC's follow up what happens to the clone Mariana, the van is hijacked by thugs: following them leads to a safe house. Waiting this out leads to an agent  from (insert overarching real evil organization from your campaign(OREO)) attempting to unscramble Mariana, and realizing the switch. Interrogating the thugs discovers that some of them worked on the attack: they locked the subjects in lead chests, and transferred them onto a ship. All those lead chests are here, and empty.

If the PC's do not follow what happens to the clone, they can proceed back to the Villa, both to gather evidence of what happened, explore her labs, and try and figure out what Jamison is up to. Mariana's mind (if the PC's successfully got her to the secondary dropoff) is soon unscrambled by D7, and by phone tells the PC's: she activated the mind scrambling procedure herself to avoid interrogation by her husband. She helps them recover (hopefully without Jamison noticing) evidence (hidden surveillance tapes) of what happened. If the PC's don't confront Jamison (who will at first, protest innonence, but will soon give up the facade), he will confront them when he gets word that that the Mariana rescued was a clone. Through his revealing (cackling laughter optional), or the information from the safe house, the master plan is revealed: illithids who have been genetically altered towards good tend to be the opposite in many respects: one being that instead of thriving in caves and undergrounds, they are in fact quite claustrophobic: exposure to severe claustrophobia can drive them insane, and set their psionic powers wild. Some of the illithids are currently stored aboard a cruise ship (that has various important people), already driven insane from their confined time in the chests. When the signal arrives, they will be let loose from their holding area, and will drive both the guests, and the crew of the ship insane: the ship will be lost to what appears to be a crash.

The PC's, after defeating Jamison, or if he more likely escapes, or coming from the safe house, high tail it to the cruise ship (where Mariana joins them). OREO has noted that it's mission may have been compromised, and so has already let them loose: the PC's, inserted by helicopter, must fight a desperate running battle, trying to stop the ship before it runs aground and starts to sink (which is likely to happen unless the PC's are skilled sailors), protect the guests that already have been infected, find the traitors (and they or Mariana fight Jamison), and subdue the illithids if possible (Mariana is quite insistent that they could be reformed, and so protests at any use of lethal force), all the while avoiding the insane illithids (who wander randomly, constantly mind blasting in random directions, and sucking brains if they're nearby). In the end though, they notice that many of the mind flayers are still unaccounted for...

*NPC quick hits:*

Mariana: 47, Allegiances: Department-7, her mind flayers, her husband.
Personality: tender, determined, unbridled rage at her husband

Jamison: 52, Allegiances: self-preservation, money, OREO. 
Personality: charismatic, unflappable, unbridled mirth at his deceived wife

*Ingredients recap:*

sacrificial alter (Mariana scrambling her brain)
pleasant villa (Mariana and Jamison's house/lab)
insane mentor (Mariana's been the mentor and teacher to the...)
claustrophobic mind flayer(s) (stolen and being used as weapons on the...)
sinking ship (where the climax takes place)
empty chest(s) (the evidence in the safehouse that reveals the plot)

*Random Notes:*
Inspiration at 3am, check.
Extensive editing/cutting to make the overview fit to page and a half in word, check. 
Checking to see if d20 modern illithids have mind blast, not really, since my modern core book mysteriously disappeared (glares at Nemmerle  ) . If this is not the case, it'd be easy to adapt. Furthermore, it seems easy to adapt the psionics involved to magic if your d20 modern campaign doesn't support it.


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## el-remmen

*IRON DM - Round 1*

*An adventure for characters of 5th or 6th level*

Ingredients
-----------------------------------
Claustrophobic mind-flayer
Sinking ship
Empty chest
Sacrificial altar
Pleasant villa
Insane mentor


What follows may be a little fragmented (I wish I had had time to edit and organize) - but basically what I’ve written here is how I write adventures for my own campaigns (minus the stat blocks). I like to create places and events and the people that live there and do them for the party to interact with and kind of let them create their own adventure - the action moves on with or without them, but thy can effects it outcome, or just ignore the whole thing and go on the their way - but knowing the setting is a dynamic place where things “happen” whether or not they are involved or related.  The action is created through the relationships of NPCs to each other and to the PCs, and more and more elements are added as their knowledge of the situation grows.

-----------------------------------------

The party comes upon the idyllic little town of Lunmar on a sparsely forested cliff above the sea.  The air here smells and tastes of salt and is refreshing, the sound of waves crashing at the bottom of the cliff canb e heard faintly throughout the town.  The town is ruled by a local lord who lives in a _pleasant villa_ at the edge of the cliff, standing atop slightly higher ground and facing the town itself and surrounded by a vineyard.

This adventure is meant to be a sidetrek between larger adventurers or as a stopping point in the midst of a much long or more epic type of adventure - a place where the party can rest a few days and re-supply and move on.  Perhaps bad weather can be used as a means of keeping the party around long enough to meet and get to know some of the friendly locals.  Other reasons that might keep the party around are waiting for the local smith to make or repair weapons, armor or other equipment, or perhaps they can be doing some information gathering for some other adventure or series of events the PCs are embroiled in - It is up to the individual GM as to whether or not the party's arrival here is a red herring or related to some larger campaign plot.

The people of Lunmar are increasingly festive while the party is there, as the full moon approaches and they all seem to be worshipers of some local moon deity or saint - and they celebrate a festival every year, which includes colored lanterns, music, food and bonfires, and unknown to the party the sacrifice of a local young person every full moon for four months - designated from birth to appease "the sea spirits"  

Due to some fluke of the location of the cliff and the time of year, for four months each year every time the moon is full, the water at the bottom of the cliff recedes enough to reveal a jutting protrusion of basalt with a flat top, atop of which have been bolted a set of chains and shackles and a large chest.  There are wooden stairways and walks that lead down the face of the cliff - which are frequently repaired, as they get soaked and in many places are swollen and bowed, threatening to fall into the jagged submerged rocks below.  At the bottom, is a small dock with a few boats tied there for use for fishing, but also used when the sacrificial time comes.

Every 28 days the designated person (during this period) is chained out there and left for the water to rise over their head.  The next time the water subsides the chest is filled with precious gems, gold and other valuable items.  

At the time the PCs have come three people have already been sacrificed this year and there is only one to go, Trina Delfast.

*Timing and Characters*

The GM should come up with a good number of fleshed out NPCs to give the town a friendly and real feeling - the kind of place the PCs would think about returning to some time in the future - if they were not about to discover its dark secret - but along with other residents of the town - Ideally, the whole town of Lunmar should be detailed to create the backdrop for this adventure.  The GM should be careful to not raise the PC's suspicions too early - among those they should definitely meet are:

_Trina Delfast_ - Com2/LN - Trina is the miller's daughter, and the next to be sacrificed, which she will do willingly (most of them do) as she understands how this ritual keeps the town safe and prosperous and does not see her individual life as more important than the group's well being.  She has had a good and pampered life, getting the best that not only her parents could offer - but the town as a whole is always extra friendly and generous to those who are designated sacrificial victims.  The last few days leading up to festival and sacrifice, are particularly debaucherous, and Trina will be seen eating lots of rich food, dancing, drinking and might even take off for a private snog with an attractive young man.   If at all possible the GM should have her appear are appealing and attractive to a party member.  It will add that much more drama if a PC comes to care for her, and she is willingly going to her death. 

_Boris & Felda Delfast_ - Trina’s parents are very proud of her, and her mother always cries because of this.  She also has a sister, _Morla_, aged 14,that resents her sister’s privilege.   Morla might be convinced to go along with a plan to disrupt or stop the sacrifice just for the sake of mischief, as long as no one is hurt in the process.

_Ayman Noss_ - Rog2/N - Ayman was Trina's sweetheart growing up, and until about a year ago was considered her beau.  He feels the sacrifices are wrong, but as long as they were no one he cared about too much he never complained.  However, about a year ago he began to try to convince Trina to run off with him and avoid her fate.  She balked, and their relationship soon ended.  Depending on the PC's attitude and how they present themselves, he might approach them for help and present what goes on in his town in the worse possible light.  (He doesn't know what is down in the water, so cannot make a suggestion for a course of action more specific than go down into the water and investigate.  However, if pressed for an idea - he suggests some kind of distraction might keep people from fulfilling the sacrifice (a fire at the villa for example).  If the party is unwilling to help him, or are acting like the typical arrogant and self-centered adventurers, Ayman will attempt to investigate the sea spirits himself and his brainless corpse will be found on the jutting rock when the water recedes.  He would offer Morla as an example of someone who would be against the sacrifice, but only if pressed because the idea to involve her would not occur to him.

_Warren Farkrieg_ - Rogue2/Bard4/N - Crazy old Farkrieg spends most of his time at the town’s pub, drinking and eating from the generosity of strangers.  Eleven years ago he worked aboard, the Dulcinea, a privateer vessel bring a cargo of gold, gems, silk and other precious items form the south.  The ship was driven into rocks during a horrible storm, and Farkrieg was the only to survive because of his ioun stone that allows him to live without air and skill as a swimmer.  He begins drinking first thing in the morning and drinks steadily all day growing increasingly inebriated, but keeping his placid veneer, though his information will be increasingly unreliable and confabulated as the day wears on.  He calls the full moon sacrifice “the monthly trawling”.  He began to call it this when he heard a description of a pendant that had been gotten in return, and he knew that the pendant in question had been aboard the Dulcinea.  When his mind is not too fogged he has been able to piece together that some monster must be providing things from the treasury of Davey Jones’ Locker, and there were no sea spirits at all.  His increased drinking and the growing horror that the town was not appeasing a divine power, but just some sea monster helped to bring his mind over the edge.

*Talloway Quick* - Rog1/NG - This young man is Warren Farkrieg’s only friend, the elder man, though _crazed_, served as the younger’s _mentor_ in terms of telling him stories of the sea and teaching him swimming strokes and breathing techniques.   He can swim farther and deeper than anyone else in town, but still has not ventured to where the natural _sacrificial altar_ lies beneath the waves, because of the taboo of his home town, but he gets closer every  time. He has been able to tell that there is some grotto down there, and that the wreckage of the Dulcinea is nearby. However, recently Farkrieg warned him off of getting too close.   Talloway might approach the party, if he sees them talking with Warren, or if they begin to investigate the water on their own.  He might suggest sharing whatever treasure they find, if they aid him in searching the wreck and the grotto.

*Lord Burton Langonel* - Arist6/LN - Lord Burton Langone lives in the lovely and large villa overlooking both the town and the sea.  It is surrounded by a vineyard and sheep can be seen gathering around it, as the grounds are used for local grazing.  The PCs may try to focus the guilt for this horrible thing that has been going on for so long on the Lord, but the truth is all in the town are equally as culpable.  Actually, getting the interest of the Lord is a bad idea, as he will use his men-at-arms to detain the PCs, arresting them for trespassing, assault or any other “crimes” they might commit while investigating the rumor of sacrificial ceremony or great treasure.  He leads the ceremony of the sacrifice along with Brother Thom.   A gather info roll against DC 12 after some time is spent around town or in the pub will allow a PC to learn that the Lord handles the wealth that comes from the sea (the gifts of the sea spirits), but that he shares and applies them fairly (this is true, the Lord is a very fair man - and even had one of his own children sacrificed a dozen years previously).

*Brother Thom* - Rog2/Mk4/LE - This monk has decided to dedicate himself to the worship and satisfying of the spirits of the rocks below the sea at the foot of the cliff.  He believes it a powerful, perhaps fiendish, entity that can give him power and control over his environment.  Brother Thom has become the lord’s right hand man, and follows around Trina for the last three days (during the festival) guarding “he gift of the spirits”.  He fights with a masterwork three-piece rod, and owns slippers of spider-climbing.

*The Grotto & The Sacrificial Altar* - The grotto is home to _Mwey-Mwey-thisp’ch_, a water elemental illithid (use “water creature” template from MotP).   The grotto is only partially covered, but basically is just a moss covered set of stones leaning to shield an area from tides and from from being viewed when approached from the direction of the shore.  The remains of sunken boats also helps to create a maze down there.

Mwey’s origins involved a spell gone awry, and the flooding and collapsing of the subterranean lair of an entire colony of mind-flayers.  The great wave of water from the elemental plane burst forth, blasting out the side of the underwater mountain the colony was in and mixing with the amniotic fluid of the mind-flayer birthing pool.  Thus was Mwey-Mwey born.    He only once explored the flooded chambers of his former people, but left hurriedly.  He hated the oppression of the place, and the floating rotting bodies, and the cramped architecture, associating them with death and his solitude, feeling a palpable fear when swimming near them.  Instead this _claustrophobic mind-flayer_ inhabited the submerged grotto below the cliff upon which Lunmar sat.  While like all illithids he hates direct sunlight, he actually enjoys the diffused and dazzling light that dances neart the surface of the water - feeling its warmth through his watery membranes. Using his emerging mental powers, he enchanted the town’s lord at the time and some key figures and drew up the religious trappings to disguise it in.  For a time Mwey repaid them for his meals with things he gathered from the ocean floor.  He enlisted the aid of a rare variety of aquatic mimic that takes the form of the chest on the sacrificial stone and guards the entrance to the grotto.  The mimic attacks anyone approaching the stone while it is still submerged.  It take advantage of the fact that you cannot effectively use slashing or blunt weapons underwater (w/o freedom of movement), and makes grappling attacks.  You should advance it up to 10 or 11 hit dice and give it an extra attack.

The grotto itself can be as simple or complex a place to search as the DM wants.  There could more creatures down there, or more remains of ships to explore.   The grotto could have a dire pike, or a shark or two are guardians  However, there is little or no treasure left (see the night of the sacrifice).  The source of the Dulcinea, and things blown out of the former illithid colony have begun to dry up and Mwey-Mwey will no longer be giving gifts for his sacrifices.  He does have a few small and valuable things - but he instinctively holds on to them for use or trade at a later date.

Imagine Mwey-Mwey as a kind of feral mind-flayer, blessed with incredible intelligence, but still using it for basic purposes for collecting food.  He is a villain in training, something that could eventually be an even greater threat as he learns more about the outside world (the PCs might be his first big taste of it).  I envision Mwey-Mwey as a sea green and teal color, with a fin-like membrane about the perimeter of his body, growing to translucence at the edges.  


*The night of the sacrifice:* Assuming that the PCs allow the sacrifice to go on, on the night of the full moon, about three score men and women in navy blue robes with green trim.   You can treat the townsfolk all as first level commoners, they all have cudgels (treat as club), if it comes to combat against them - but they fight reticently, leaving it to the monks and the men-at-arms - mostly making rings to keep PCs from getting away. 

As the moon rises the water dramatically recedes, revealing the squarish stone and three nearby pylons for mooring.

The robed townfolk climb into two small sailboats.  Lord Langonel, Brother Thom and his two neophytes (Mk2), along with Trina and her family, are brought out in a longboat with townsfolk doing the rowing.  (Morna may or may not be there).  In a way, Brother Thom is also a _crazed mentor_.

If the party is not working with Ayman Noss, his unrecognizable remains will be discovered when the boats arrive.  There will be an uproar.  The body looks like it was chewed up and spit out, but huge chunks are missing (he was killed by the mimic).  The uproar will increase after Trina is chain to the altar.   According to tradition, it is only then that chest may be opened to take out the gifts from “the sea spirits” - however it is empty (remember, Mwey-Mwey and the mimic can’t find anything anymore without expanding their area of looking).  At this point, a great debate should rise among the townsfolk and the Lord about how to interpret his.  Trina will start looking nervous.

It is wholly possible that only some or none of these events may come to pass depending on the actions taken by the PCs.  The best thing to do is to get a hold of the main NPCs personalities and motivations and be ready to play them according to what begins to happen.  All sorts of things could happen differently: The party could fight the mimic underwater during the day, forcing it to flee or killing it.  The lack of a chest altogether will cause a huge uproar.  The party could be arrested, or could attack the townsfolk before they get out there, or damage their boats during the day.  

If they seek to go out after the townsfolk, there is only one sail boat left tied at the base of the cliff (note even though the water recedes it is still over forty feet deep), and it is in such bad repair (pulled up on a huge sand-covered rock) that it will begin to sink quickly as they make their way across.  It is about two hundred feet from the base of the stairs/dock to the sacrificial stone.  To simply you can rule that the party can get to the stone or the other moored boats, but not make it back.  If half the party boards the decrepit, they are still stuck with what is a _sinking ship_, that will be useless by the time any combat at the sacrificial stone is done.   Of course, if the party has access to the fly spell this makes it much easier.  

The stone itself is about four feet off the surface of the water, and about 10 feet by 15 feet.  Thus, whatever combat might happen out there would like be from boat to boat -w hich should make for an interesting combat environment - which will likely include some jumping, balance and climbing checks, and perhaps some swimming if folks are unlucky.  The use of environemnt in a combat encounter can increase the difficult, fun and dramatic tension a great deal - and helps to avoid boring dice-rolling fests where foes simply face off and trade blows.  If the GM wants to make it more interesting, blood in the water could attract sharks, making any missed checks that much more dangerous for those who fail them and fall into the water. 

It is completely possible that the PCs will not bother to search the grotto and learn what the monster is, and be happy to “break up” the tradition of the sacrifices somehow.

It is also possible that the lure of treasure, or the ramblings of a drunken man, or the moral idea of saving someone who wants to die will not be enough to draw the party into the adventure; Let them go.  In time Mwey-Mwey will be able to create his own birth pool to spawn more of his kind and they will begin to become a greater threat to shipping lanes and other aquatic creatures - possible drawing the PCs back to the villain at a later date when the learn that they might have stopped it.   Another possibility is that combat erupts before the townsfolk reach the boats-the wooden starways down to the mooring at the bottom of the cliff are very narrow - meaning that at place where the platforms turn back on themselves to lead down staris only one person may pass - trying to pass someone at these tight spots will require a balance check against DC  12.  Failing requires a Reflex check against DC 13 or fail to grab the rotten rail and actaully fall through it to the rocks below.  The sharp rocks add +1d8 to any fall per 10 feet fallen.

*Final Suggestions/Guidelines:* You should try to run this adventure in a cthulhuesque way (it was partially inspired by "Shadow Over Innsmouth"), with the infornation coming to the PCs slowing and the hrorrific realization dawning on them on the day of the sacrifice.  However, do note that while the people of Lunmar do not openly discuss the sacrifice and will avoid the topic, they do not go out of their way to hide it either - as they feel they are perfectly in their rights to do it.

If there is n sacrifice, Mwey-Mwey (who makes do most of the year with shark brains) will still be hungry and the next night he will come to town by night and using his charm monster power force the Lord to bring him a fresh young brain, while he waits in the villa.  The monks will aid the illithid out of fear and awe.

The levels for the NPCs in this adventure can easily be raised to raise the difficulty.  Brother Thom could be bumpd up two or three levels, and his two students could be bumped up a level or two.   Sharks could be added to the waters around the sacrificial altar, and you can add some warriors or experts or rogues to the townsfolk on the night of the sacrifice.  The Lord's men-at-arms could also be made a more even match of the PCs or you can introduce a captain of the guard.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

anonystu said:
			
		

> Extensive editing/cutting to make the overview fit to page and a half in word, check.




Oh crap...   Was that a requirement?  This is my first IronDM, and I thought I knew the rules, but I think mine was six or seven pages in Word.


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## el-remmen

Mine was 5 pages in word - Rune did not mention a limit. . .


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## anonystu

Quoting rune, who's quoting nemmerle from the first page of this thread:


> Entries usually range from half a page to a page and half of writing (three or four paragraphs) - overly long entries run the risk of boring the judge




Rune, is of course, free to do how he likes, but I took this (which can also be interpreted as just a mild suggestion) as one of the constraints of the competition: to be able to cohesively tie together a bunch of disparate elements in not much room.

I rarely write adventures as linear as the one posted above, but I could barely squeeze the plot together in four paragraphs, let alone get to describe much of the interactions in depth (a lot of the last scene is meant to be chaotic, so that's not too much of a problem in that scene, but there's a lot of detail and other things left out, like that I wanted some scenes with the reformed illithids, and so on).

On the other hand, what Nemmerle just posted is a really great module, that's something that I personally, would love to modify and run in my campaign. I guess this is something to think about for the future: how much should the module length become a more hard limit (say, no more than 1000 words), or how much to encourage people to write their heart out to create great modules like the one Nemmerle just wrote (I haven't read yours quite yet, so judgement reserved for now ).


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## Rune

Here's the real limit: Don't bore me.

Concise _is_ better, but do what you gotta do.

I'm reading the entries, now, judgement to follow.

Oh, and Seasong, you have about an hour and a half to post your entry.


----------



## seasong

*Sphinx
Maze
Bag of tricks
Waterlogged totem
Paranoid city
Harpy*

*Summary:* This is a scenario meant for level 5-7. The core "event" (hunting for the harpy) is not particularly difficult, because it is meant as a springboard for further adventures, and an introduction to the city politics, rather than a challenge in and of itself. On the other hand, despite its easiness, it is not intended to _seem_ easy to the PCs - the hunt should involve plenty of rolling, shouting and worry, and the fight should paralyze a few members of the party and do minor damage to the others before they have the bird in hand. And if it seems straightforward to the PCs, that's only because they don't know what's really going on.

*Backwater Tar Baby*

The city of Eu Topos was founded some three hundred years ago by a small clan of gnomes looking to capitalize on a river damming project that would put their obscure initial location on the map. As plans go, it went reasonably better than expected, and within a decade or so it was a thriving city of twenty thousand souls. Unfortunately, Evaneskos came along.

Evaneskos is a powerful _gyrosphinx_ wizard who despised both male breeds of her kind, and sought a way to escape them... as well as the difficult, hunted life of a gynosphinx. So she used her magics to appear as a gnome for periods of time, and insinuated herself into the leadership of the council using all manner of charms and enchantments to achieve what she needed.

Then she set about remaking the city more to her liking. Streets were gradually rebuilt into one way, twisting routes. Building zoning was established along a spiralling aesthetic, so that a straight line always took you to a different kind of place. The quaint red clay construction was supplemented with cliff-like barriers, which forced buildings to grow taller and connect at points other than the ground floors or street. More streets were built on top of that, and she began prowling the shadowy underworld of the city maze for her prey.

The city's very _structure_ was paranoid, difficult to get in or out, claustrophobic and twisted into knots. And this had a similar impact on her citizens, who took to taking corners cautiously, examining each other for clues to the murderers identity... other urban predators, from dopplegangers to rakshasa, began to immigrate to the city...

Barely a square mile, the city became a dense, festering rat warren of desparate gnomes and other races, who were trapped by the tax and emmigration laws to scrimping and saving sufficient money to leave. It was a perfect trap.

A new predator has recently entered the city, however, one who is considerably less subtle, and more irritating to Evaneskos. Her name is Yau Tallas, and she is a ruined harpy, kicked out to die in the desert by her own harem for her greed and gluttony (it's not just that she overate - she was stealing her sisters' shares as well). She eventually found her way to Eu Topos, and has set up shop for herself. She is a skilled city hunter, and specifically has mastered an unusual ability for a harpy - the ability to only affect one person at a time with her singing, but at much greater ranges (a _Savage Species_-like monster feat). With it, Yau has begun gorging herself again, and has become quite fat and happy and hidden.

The problem, from Evaneskos' point of view, is that whoever the new threat is (which survivors have described as a "melodious voice giving false promises, like a siren only sweeter"), she's overhunting her section of the city. Occasional murders and disappearances are all well and good, and help maintain the aura of hopeless despair that marks mortals in the city, but push too hard and mortals leave with or without money, or turn to mob-like rages. She needs the harpy taken care of, and soon.

So she hires the PCs. This can happen several ways:

1) A small band of gnomes, looking terribly frightened and constantly looking over their shoulder, approach the PCs where ever they are and offer to hire them (or simply plead for help). They have been sent by Evaneskos to acquire skilled, reasonably priced adventurers, and they know she can scry them to determine success. If the PCs spot the scrying and get a glimpse of the scryer, they will see an elderly gynosphinx checking them out. Otherwise, the gnomes simply want them to come back to the city to find and kill a terrible monster for them. It will seem fairly straightforward.

2) If the PCs are deep in the wilderness and are looking for a place to sell their loot, you could glance at your map and casually mention to the bard (or ranger or other "area knowledge" person) that there is an obscure, small city nearby. It does some trade in fish, furs, gnome textiles and some magic, but is otherwise a footnote in history. When they arrive, make note of the closed-in architecture, the squeeze that some streets give, the poorly lit sidepaths, the paranoid way everyone scuttles through the street (as if they're trying to watch all directions, including up, without missing a step). They find a proprietor of whatever it is they want, and he mentions regulations requiring permission to sell the item they want most (or to buy the item they want to get rid of). He says he'll check for them that afternoon, and could they please come back that evening? (This is authentic and true) When he asks permission, Evaneskos takes an interest and visits his shop to meet these expendable out-of-towners who might be willing to help her out.

3) Rumors of lost treasures in the depths of an obscure city reach the ears of the adventurers. A rumor that the city is hiring could accompany it.

In any of these cases, the gynosphinx will offer to hire them. She will present herself as an almost grandmotherly figure in the city, who long ago shed pretensions of gnomeness and overcame the fears of the People with her kindness, forthrightness, and willingness to eat non-sentients. It's a lie, but she's a high level wizard with a ton of skill points in bluff, and the spells to pull it off (mostly deception, charms, divinations, etc.). The problem, she'll tell them, is that some sort of singing monster has moved into the bowels of the city and is killing off her valued citizens. A siren, possibly, since the creature stays near the lake.

She'll offer what she needs to in order to get them to do it, or appeal to their sense of justice and goodness if she thinks that will work. She plans to continue hiring them and keeping them in the city (so their money will eventually go back to her anyway), and killing them when they eventually leave, so it's no skin off her back. (Note: keep it within your preference for their level, though, in case they succeed ).

She will give them one other thing: a bag of tricks. Each of the animals it produces are small and scrawny (but last for an hour each), and she explains that the bowels of the city were designed by a madman, and are somewhat mazelike. If the singing creature begins singing, the weakest nearby creature is drawn to it, and if they keep out a creature from the bag of tricks, it should be the first affected, and they can then follow it.

Most importantly, however, she wants the creature _alive_ so that it may face justice. She will be very clear on this to the adventurers, with as much bribery or threats as she feels is necessary to ensure it. (In point of fact, she wants to tame/hire the creature if that is possible, or eat it herself if that is not; she's mostly concerned about its appetite right now).

*Finding the Harpy*

Make rolls as they wander around with their scrawny little beast. If you can make the beast seem cute and funny, do so. He should also seem weak and frail and slow. Then, have them hear faint singing, and the beast takes off.

That was the straightforward part. Now you can make them sweat, because the little bastard is making a beeline through holes in flimsy walls (STR or damage check to burst through), jumping down narrow holes with no visible bottom (Spot check to see if its safe, Jump check to make it safely when it isn't), scrambling under tables (Jump or Tumbling check), etc. Then it jumps into a water-filled street and begins doggy paddling. The lake has filled in part of the city here, and the maze becomes narrow corridors for swimming.

Note that armored characters are going to need some help. If the party has no methods for handling this normally, and you don't think they'll find a way, you could perhaps include a broken, floating wooden door or something they could use.

Finally, the beast scrambles onto what looks like the top of a partially rotted, water-logged ironwood dome about twenty feet across. It clambers up, then drops down a hole too small to follow... but under the water, the structure looks more complicated, and there may be a way inside.

In point of fact, Evaneskos would be furious to discover Yau Tallas' location. An artifact (in the historic, not magical, sense) of the sphinx's early days after revealing herself to the city, it is a totemic statue, carved of ironwood, of Evaneskos herself. It is hollow, with heavily water-damaged artworks within (all with Evaneskos as the subject, of course), and was abandoned when the lake broke through one of the safelocks and flooded this portion of the original, older city.

Yau is situated in one of the back rooms (the rump, where she has room to maneuver, and a quick exit to air that was not visible from the head area). The PCs will have to explore the totem itself (it's a good 100 foot by 50 foot wide statue, and two stories high at the head) to find her, as the trick creature is long since eaten.

If they are clever, pull out another trick and wait, she will begin singing again. The new animal will lead them on a more straightforward path, at which point...

Yau, from her hidden vantage, will spot them and switch from singing to a single individual to ALL within range. At this point, it's fighting time. Remind the players that alive means subdual damage, which for most of them will mean -4 on their to hits. Once she figures out they aren't trying to kill her (the first successful hit or two), if she isn't already unconscious, she will pretend to be, slumping to the ground.

*Bringing Yau In*

The sphinx is delighted with the catch. Indeed, upon discovering that it is a harpy, she seems almost beside herself, and immediately offers the PCs another job, at a slightly improved pay...

*Future*

The gynosphinx and harpy will eventually become a vicious tag team. By the time the PCs have outlived their usefulness and are looking to get out of the city (run this like a module - just one more corner or mission to complete and then we're OUTTA here!), the harpy will be higher level and possessed of an even deadlier voice, not to mention the city guard. And the possibility of vengeful predators whose meal ticket was killed, should they kill Evaneskos. Heck, the townsfolk think the sphinx is on their side, so that could make things sticky as well - do they kill the innocents, just because the innocents believe a lie?


----------



## seasong

*Re: He who waits...*

WinnipegDragon: I like your entry. I'll comment further after Rune has ripped me a new one for mine .



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> _Doesn't seasong come across as the mooost reasonable person...I'm sure he's a raving loon and all, but still..._



I'm so crazy I look sane.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

*Re: Re: He who waits...*



			
				seasong said:
			
		

> *WinnipegDragon: I like your entry. I'll comment further after Rune has ripped me a new one for mine .
> *




I'm quite sure that we will both have nice new ones after this 

Loved the way the bag of tricks is used in yours.  I can imagine the sheer panic in the character's eyes when the little bugger heads into the walls


----------



## Piratecat

Rune said:
			
		

> *Incidentally, incognito, if you're out there, check in, please.
> 
> We haven't seen you in half a year, and we're worried about you. *




He was last on the boards in March.  I just sent a quick note to his work email, letting him know we missed him!


----------



## Pielorinho

*Re: Re: Re: He who waits...*



			
				WinnipegDragon said:
			
		

> *Loved the way the bag of tricks is used in yours.  I can imagine the sheer panic in the character's eyes when the little bugger heads into the walls  *




"Get a leash!  Goddammit, SOMEBODY GET A LEASH!!"

Daniel


----------



## el-remmen

HURRY UP RUNE!  

You never catch _me_ taking this long to judge!! 

I'm dying!


----------



## WinnipegDragon

Clearly Nemmerle is not useing the 'suck-up-to-the-judge'  tactic.


----------



## Rune

*Judgement: Round 1, Match 1*

*anonystu vs. Nemmerle*

First of all, I want to thank both contestants for thinking outside of the box.  Anonystu, I understand and appreciate your insistence upon adhering to the concise format.  You get bonus points for that (not that I'm doing this point-based, but you get the analogy).  Unfortunately, those bonus points are outweighed by how much they cost the adventure in quality.

What you have is a very good scenario, but too limited.  Also, as you decided to use a ruleset outside of the standard, D&D, the burden of clarity falls to you.  As it happens, I don't own d20 Modern, so I'm not sure what Department 7 is and I have no idea why there are illithids running around in a Modern world.  I accept that this is a standard of the setting, but I have to accept it with a grain of salt.

I am familiar with Spycraft, and could easily see this game run with that system, so it's clear that this is pretty generic in applicability.  That's good.

Now to contrast:

*Hooks:*

Anonystu, your entry has but a single hook and it's quite heavy-handed.  Admittedly, this is standard for the genre, so I won't hold it against you.

Nemmerle also only provides one hook, fundamentally, and it's fairly straight-forward.  Fortunately, it's a very likely scenario and quite flexible.

*Plot:*

Anonystu provides a good plot, if a bit linear.  Here, again, I think limiting the length hurt the scenario, as the events of this plot seem too short.  On the other hand, the verisimilitude of the story holds up, if we accept that mind flayers are a common entity in the campaign.

Nemmerle's, however, is excellent.  The premise is wonderful, reminding me of many superb short stories, from "The Lottery," to "Shadow over Innsmouth."  Added to this is the very close attention paid to verisimilitude; I can't help but appreciate it's tightness.  Additionally, I must comment on the form of the scenario.  Nemmerle blends a free-form & time-based adventure in with encounters with interesting and believable personality.  This allows for a more organic experience, which is quite refreshing.  Many more modules should be written this way.

*Creativity:*

First of all, I must commend anonystu for taking the initiative and posting a scenario that uses a different game.  While the execution could have been better (or clearer), I do appreciate the inspiration.  Second, I want to mention that anonystu's wit is also appreciated.  Finally, I want to say that inserting the PCs into the middle of what is essentially a domestic dispute between husband and wife is quite interesting; it even hints at being Rat Bastardly.

Nemmerle, however, trumps in this category, as well.  Leaving aside his excellent premise, the atmosphere of his scenario is truly inspiring and his use of the ingredients are sometimes downright brilliant!  I might also add that his inclusion of tactics is equally creative, showing that he has an understanding of rules application, as well as imagination.  Additionally, there are some exceptionally Rat Bastardly things in here.  First and foremost: the moral quandary presented the players (should they rescue someone who doesn't want to be rescued), but there are some other gems in there, as well.  I'd go into detail, but people are already clamoring for my judgement, so I'll leave it at that.

*After the Adventure:*

Anonystu provides a few sound threads that could be followed into future adventures: the missing mind flayers, Jamison's exact connection with OREO (I love that name!), and, of course, Mariana could easily maintain contact with the PCs.

But Nemm's just got _so_ many potential threads, both explicit and inferred, that I can't even list them.  To be fair, I must say that this is a natural consequence of using a free-formed, organic structure, but that's certainly not a bad thing!

*Ingredients:*

_Claustrophobic mind flayer_

I'm sorry to say that I'm disappointed in the way anonystu handled this ingredient.  Even if it's perfectly fine for an illithid to be in a modern setting, the claustrophobia feels tacked on and unnatural.  This is a consequence of it being good?  Come on!

Nemmerle's use is much better.  With the inclusion of the water creature template, it even borders on brilliance.  I can definitely believe the creature's claustrophobia and I understand it's psyche (as much as I could any mind flayer).  Good show!

_Sinking ship_

I had hoped to see this ingredient used as an encounter, or part of an encounter, and anonystu did not disappoint me, here.

On the other hand, Nemmerle's use of this ingredient, while solid, does not seem particularly inspired.  I wouldn't call it "tacked on," but it doesn't seem so significant.

_Empty chest_

Okay, I'll grant that the use of these chests are handled well by anonystu; It's always good to see ingredients tied into each other and they are fairly significant to the adventure.  However, I'd prefer to see a better-used ingredient tied in.

Nemmerle's chest is quite good.  Not only is it the payoff (in a manner of speaking) for the villagers, but it also is (in multiple ways) the cause of the sacrifices.

_Sacrificial altar (alter!)_

Anonystu is quite creative here, with my misspelling.  S/he uses it in two ways, although the blurb at the bottom of the entry only indicates one.  The blurb mentions that Mariana alters her memory as a sacrifice; but there is also an alter-Mariana, who is a sacrifice.  I'm pretty pleased with the use of this ingredient.

As for Nemm's, it's good, but in function it's pretty standard.  I am mildly disappointed that neither submission picked up on the fact that a sacrificial altar need not be a life-sacrificing thing, but given the intricacy with which Nemm wove this ingredient in with the rest of the scenario, I can hardly fault him for such a minor conceit of mine.

_Pleasant villa_

Anonystu's use of this ingredient amounts to nothing more than a backdrop and is, ultimately, insignificant.

Unfortunately, the same could be said of Nemmerle's.  In addition, Nemmerle's has _even more_ of a tacked-on feel.

_Insane mentor_

I believe that anonystu completely bungled this one.  Mariana is listed as a "mentor" to something or other.  I had to assume it was either the other Mariana or the illithids, but I think that it's too much of a stretch of the term, either way.  In addition, no matter how many times I read it, I couldn't figure out specifically why she would be insane (a muddled memory doesn't count, I'm afraid).

However, Nemmerle's usage of the ingredient wasn't that great, either.  It's not tacked on, or anything, but it doesn't seem to be very inspired.  Also, I believe that a "crazed" mentor may be a bit much of a stretch.  I will say that it's a better use than anonystu's, though.

*Conclusion:*

Overall, I think it's pretty clear that *Nemmerle* wins this match with an overwhelmingly superior entry.  Anonystu, you've got a lot of potential, but you need to spend some time honing your skills.  I fully expect to see that you are a seasoned and challenging opponent in future Iron DM's though.  So don't let me down!


----------



## el-remmen

Woo-Hoo! 

Ahem. . .  I mean, thank you Rune. . . and anonystu - thanks for a great round - I feel bad that your brevity hurt you - I though the inclusion of a kind X-filesy modern setting was inspired.

As for my use of ingredients - I wanted te Villa to suggest menace - as PCs tend to see the location of a castle or manor as a focus for whatever evil is going on.

yeah, and the crazed mentor was a stretch. . .


----------



## Rune

By the way, I could be draconian and enforce expostion, like Incognito, but instead I'll just ask nicely.


----------



## el-remmen

*exposition*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *By the way, I could be draconian and enforce expostion, like Incognito, but instead I'll just ask nicely.   *




I tried to include some exposition in the entry itself. . .


----------



## WinnipegDragon

Congrats Nemmerle!  I was really impressed by your concepts and execution.  I might run this in my campaign with your permission.

I have to say that Anonystu's was really quite clever and witty.  I don't have d20 Modern, but this certainly piqued my interest!

Good job to both of you.


----------



## Rune

*Re: exposition*



			
				nemmerle said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I tried to include some exposition in the entry itself. . . *




Ha!  I meant expostion on your decisions.  Bullywug bastard.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I can't believe nemmerle, of all people, set up an adventure with a _*moral quandary*_ and _*hanging threads*_ and wins his round.

You should be ashamed to enjoy the fruits of such bitter irony.  


Wulf


----------



## Rune

*The Judge's apology.*

Upon rereading my judgement, it seems to me that I come off sounding harsher and, even biased, in my critiques of anonystu than of Nemmerle.  This is particularly evident when I use phrases, like "Okay, I'll grant that..." and "completely bungled."

I'm sorry to come off sounding like such a jerk.  And I had better explain.  In truth (and I admit that this may well have come from the differences in length), the two entries seemed to me to be in entirely seperate classes.  Now, I have never seen Nemm's entries in other Iron DM tournaments, so I had no idea what to expect, nor have I seen anonystu's, if ever there were any.

However, I started finding errors in his entry pretty easily, while I had too look much closer at Nemm's to find any.

For this reason, my language seems to have slipped into a biased-sounding diction.  This is the result of the cumulative effect of these elements upon me, I'm afraid, as well as, perhaps, my general awe of Nemm's submission.

I want to stress, however, that this was _not_ a foregone conclusion.  Anonystu, you are good, and I fully expect that you could beat Nemm in a different match.  But I couldn't let you have this one.  Again, I'm sorry I sound like a jerk about it.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

I wouldn't worry about it Rune.  When you are judging two entries against each other, _not solely on their individual merit_, your decision will always have a bias, IMHO.  You are required to pick one, and it will be the one you like better.

Don't sweat it.  You are the judge, and you have to judge


----------



## Rune

WinnipegDragon said:
			
		

> *I wouldn't worry about it Rune.  When you are judging two entries against each other, not solely on their individual merit, your decision will always have a bias, IMHO.  You are required to pick one, and it will be the one you like better.
> 
> Don't sweat it.  You are the judge, and you have to judge  *




Ah, but the point is, I don't have to be a jerk.  And some of my language was poorly chosen.


----------



## el-remmen

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I can't believe nemmerle, of all people, set up an adventure with a moral quandary and hanging threads and wins his round.
> 
> You should be ashamed to enjoy the fruits of such bitter irony.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




But Wulf, Moral Quandaries and hanging threads are what it's all about - I doubt I ever penalized anyone for including elements such as these. . . 

You just like to push my buttons. .. cheeky monkey!


----------



## WinnipegDragon

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Ah, but the point is, I don't have to be a jerk.  And some of my language was poorly chosen. *




Fair enough.  Does this mean you will describe my entry as 'intersting' instead of 'revolting'?  

edit:  The wait is now officially killing me, Rune!


----------



## cool hand luke

*here goes nothing*

I'd like to apologize in advance for anyone that actually reads my submission.  I had NO IDEA how hard it was to do this!  boy does it make me respect the rest of you.  I considered not even posting, or dropping out and letting someone else go, but I figured I would never stop sucking if I didn't practice and get some feedback, so here goes.

Iron DM – Summer 2003
Round 1 – cool hand luke
Warning:  what you are about to read is Bad, really bad.  Any resemblance to good righting is purely a coincidence.  
ingredients:Bungling adept
Secret cove
Unsavory stew
Ioun stone
Carpet shop
Ooze

 Whatever happened to Saturday Night? Or, the start of the Counter Reformation.  An adventure for characters levels 3-5  
Synopsis:
 Wehrn has seen a lot of changes over the last generation.  For a thousand years, Wehrn had been the epicenter for trade for the entire continent.  It was at the cross roads of both land and sea travel and had a large natural harbor.  It was also blessed (or cursed) by being far enough away from the capital city that very little attention was paid to it, as long as the goods (and therefore, the tariffs) kept rolling in.  Wehrn developed a reputation based on three things; the huge marketplace, its fun loving, hard partying atmosphere, and the relative ease at which vices are found in the city.  Almost any good or service, whether legal, or not, could be purchased on the streets of this city.  (For you history buffs, imagine ancient Corinth, a good modern day equivalent would be a slightly seedier version of New Orleans).  This debauchery was brought to a dizzying (and some would say disgusting) climax every spring with the Festival.  The Festival was a fortnight long foray into feasting, fornication, and fun.  (imagine Mardi gras/carnivale and spring break rolled into one.)  This came to a screeching halt some 22 years ago.  During that year’s festival, a huge fire broke out in the cities warehouse district, destroying most of the warehouses, city docks, and a good number of the merchant ships docked there.  This devastated the econ0my, and was the beginning as what is referred to as the reformation. (The fact that this fire was set by a very ambitious young cleric named Felor has remained a secret, perhaps to be uncovered later)  Grandell, A local cleric of (whatever a strict LG deity is in your setting that none of your characters are worshipping.)  saw the opportunity before him, and seized it.  Feeding upon the devastation, and desperation the people were feeling, he parlayed his natural charisma into political power.  He was soon appointed as Head overseer (mayor) by the council of five (city council).  He began a reformation that totally re-shaped Wehrn.  In there fear and desperation, people were glad to change there ways, reinforced by a great “ad” campaign, of well paid bards that sung to the necessity of change, the dangers of excessive living, and the need for everyone to conform.  In only a few short years, Grandell had not only totally rebuilt the warehouse and dock district, clearing it of the drug dens and whorehouses that had previously prospered there, but had also rebuilt the image, and atmosphere of the town.  Mothers were no longer scared to let their children play outside, people could walk safely at night, and being from Wehrn was no longer considered a mark of low morals in the rest of the kingdom.  The city prospered greatly for the next 10 years under Grandell’s rule.  7 years ago, Grandell died suddenly one night, in his sleep, His right hand man, a very pious man of the cloth named Felor took his place.  Slowly, Methodically, Felor extended his power, and is once again changing the face of Wehrn.  He established a secret police to investigate “personal crimes”.  He has banned the public worship of any other god.  He then disbanded the council of five, outlawed the traders’ guild (major opposing power base)  and has driven the Paisans, (wehrn’s version of the mafia) into deep hiding.  The church is now in complete control of almost every aspect of daily life. 
This adventure can either be a short, one episode interlude, able to drop in anytime your players come to a big city, or, it can be a introduction to a long term campaign, to uncover the corruption, and, ultimately, unseat the theocracy that has been set up.
Character Hooks
Depending on if you plan to run this as a one-time adventure, or the beginning of a long-term campaign.  If it is the beginning of a long campaign, the parties religious types (cleric, paladin, even druid)  will have learned of the new rules in effect in Wehrn prohibiting any worship besides the “official” one.  Once there, they will find out that something is rotten in Denmark, and be directed to investigate/expose the corruption.  If it is just a one-night side adventure, the actions below should provide a hook.

Scene One: The town gate, and a very unsavory stew.
The players arrive at the city to find a VERY long line of people standing before the city gates.  Upon inquiry, they find that this is a new procedure that has been implemented.  Everyone coming or going into town is stopped at the gate and searched, ostensibly to make sure that both a tax and tithe is paid, but also to look for “contraband”.  Posted above the entryway is a large sign that states, “Nothing that thwarts HIS will” flanked by the church’s symbol.  A make shift traveling circus has set up outside the gate, entertaining there captive audience with jugglers, trained bears, stilt walkers, and various sideshows.  One group seems to be drawing a particularly large crowd.  There are 2 men walking through the crowd, one talking constantly, the other carrying a big pot, and wearing a clip of somekind over his nose.  On the side of the pot is scrawled “uncle eddees sweet stew”    Apparently, the carny was offering anyone try to drink a mug of his “stew”, for 5 sp.  If you were able to drink the entire mug, he would pay you 10 gp.  He was very charismatic, and was able to get quite a few of the farmers to take a shot at drinking the foul concoction.  Every one of them was reduced to puking long before they finished the glass.  Uncle eddee and his assistant continuing walking down the line, taking people’s money, and leaving them puking, as they do, until they come to the party.  Spying the group (and whatever character he feels most likely to be able to sucker in, you make the call based on there personalities, though an accompanying NPC, or cohort would work well), he calls out “here’s a likely customer! Whatya say, wanna test your guts against my gold?” (Important note, he HAS NOT said, “here’s a likely customer” in any of his previous talking, that is a signal phrase to his unseen partner that he has found a likely target, most likely the players won’t get this, but just in case).  He will then attempt to goad the player into trying his noxious brew.  Even going as far as to wave his fee, and letting the player try it for free (something else he’s hasn’t previously done).  Unbeknownst to the players, at the same time, his partner, a level 10 rogue, is maneuvering to “plant” an item on the character.  If the character tries to drink the stew, make a dc 20 fortitude check to see if he is successful.  If the players refuse, then, eddee, just before giving up, he will quickly pick up the bucket, and hold it as close as possible to the players nose, “see this isn’t so bad, give it a shot”.  Either then, or when they are drinking, is when the accomplices places a small bag somewhere on the player.  A 10th level thief should be able to beat the standard dc 20 pickpocket check with ease.  The player suffers a penalty on his opposing spot role, -10 if he actually drank it, -5 if he is simply nauseated from the fumes from the bucket.  


Uncle eddee is desperately trying to seek out a way to get the ioun stones into town.  He really is part of a traveling band of carnies.  Recently, one of the contestant’s became so ill from his sweet stew that he passed out.  Eddee was easily able to nab the Ioun stone from around his head.  He is now desperate to move the stone to a fence he knows inside town, but is a coward, and doesn’t want to risk getting caught with the item, so he devised a plan to let someone else attempt to carry it into town, passed the guards.  At which point, his accomplice (who normally pick pockets the marks while there puking)  will retrieve the item.

Scene two:  the gate
When the party approaches the gate, they will here one of the guards there reading the rules.  “No symbols of other gods may be visible in town, No denigrating the church in town, No denigrating church officials, ….etc, etc.)  They will be pulled off to the side, and asked for there names, occupations, etc, by 3 guards.  During this time, Alfon, an adept stationed at the gate, will be looking over them with a “detect magic” spell.  He will point to the character that had the “package” placed on him, and one of the guards will start to frisk the character, eventually coming away with the small package.  The entire party will be asked to step inside the “office” .  if they refuse, the guards will step forward to “convince” them to go peacefully, or will attempt to force them into the office.  Once inside, alfon will open the package, to uncover small elliptical ioun stone, of lavender and green.  Recognizing the stone as able to absorb divine spells, a sly smile spreads across his face.  He goes on a rant about how DARE they try to sneak in something as blatantly EVIL as this stone, trying to stop the good magic of the churches representatives.  When the PC’s protest , Alfon will tell them he is casting a spell that will see through there lies and treachery.  He makes a great show of casting this spell.  An easy knowledge arcane check (dc10) will let the characters know that no spell was cast, but Alfon keeps acting (and the guards definitely believe it) like it was.  He is so convincing in the acting that it becomes apparent that he too believes he cast the spell.  After more ranting about the evils the party attempted to perpetrate, he  will say there is only one thing the party can do, and that is to make a penance to atone for there sins.  The character caught with the item will stay with Alfon, either locked in his cell or with him, until the party completes the atonement.


He then tells the guards to leave and go back to their posts.

He tells the party that their atonement will be stopping an even bigger evil.  He has discovered a secrete cove that the Paisans are using to smuggle in various contraband, and smuggle out wanted people.  The cove leads to a tunnel that comes up someplace in the city.  He wants to find out where this tunnel emerges, so he can shut down the entire operation, and get all of those involved.  He uses the party instead of church guards so he will not have to share the glory of his discovery.

Alfon is motivated by one thing only by this point, greed for power.  He wants to use this “bust” to make a name for himself, and further his career in the church.  He started out as a true adept, devout in his worship, but, the corruption that has infiltrated the church caught him.  Slowly, he became less focused on serving his church, as he was to furthering his own quest for power.  Because of this, his god has removed his power to effectively cast spells.  Alfon is terrified by this, but doesn’t realize the cause.  He will put on a great show of being able to cast spells, and sometimes they still work.  

Scene Three:  the secret cove

Before he leaves, Alfon calls the guards back in, and tells them he  must leave, and escort the prisoners to a special meeting.  He tells them if he is not back in 3 hours, to call the captain of the guard, and start looking for him.  This should happen in the late afternoon.

The secret cove is a very small body of water (maybe 50 feet in diameter) with a small (15’) outlet to the sea, just big enough for a small rowboat to pass into.  It is situated in an area of high cliffs, the entryway to the sea is covered by a permanent illusion spell that makes it appear as a solid wall of rock..  At high tide, water floods into the cove, filling it almost 20’ deep.  At low tide it is mostly empty, with just a few tide pools remaining.  At the back of the cove is an entrance to a natural cave that is covered by water at high tide, but revaluated at low tide.  

Alfon then leads the party to the secret cove, on the way there, he tells them that one, not necessarily the one caught, must stay with him, until the others return.  Alfon leads them about 3 miles south of the main harbor.  After an hour of looking around, he finds what he is looking for.  He steps right into what appears to be a large rock on the side of a rocky cliff, flecked with green minerals, and steps right through it!  Once the party is inside the cove, the tide should be half way out, revealing the top half of the cave.  Seated over the entryway, on a small wooden ledged hammered into the side of the cliff is a lookout, who seems to be paying little attention.  Alfon whispers, “one of you must come back with me, follow that cave, and find out where it opens inside the city!  And here’s a little help!”  at which point he stands and attempts to cast a spell.  Again a DC 12 spell check will reveal that he is attempting to cast a sleep spell, what comes out instead is Light (divine sense of humor maybe)  cast on the top of his head.  The lookout immediately spots the light, and begins to scramble up a rickety rope ladder.  It will take him 2 rounds to reach the top of the ladder, and disappear.  Blushing with embarrassment, Alfon hollers “Well DO something, don’t let him get away.”  Whether or not he manages to escape will effect the end of the scenario.  


While the pc (or npc or cohort) that must go back with Alfon might think he’s getting the raw end of the deal, he will actually be a source of great knowledge for the future.  Probably already suspicious of Alfon’s bungling of magic, he will pick up on many hints that Alfon is not the pious Adept he so desperately wishes to appear, and that he has only a vestige of the power he once had, because of his ambition.

Scene Four:  The silken tunnel.  

The entryway is about half covered with water.  The PC’s can either wait an hour or so for the water to fall more, or make a short swim into the tunnel.  The tunnel angles up sharply, and is soon out of the tide zone.  Once there they will find a surpisingly deserted tunnel.  It is obviously well used, occasional torch holders line the walls, and no dust has collected.  The tunnel alternates between natural occurring tunnels and chambers in limestone, to short, crudely if efficiently cut hallways connecting the rooms.  Finally the room enters into a largish chamber.  A great spider web covers the far wall.  A path cleared in the dust goes to the spider web then disappears behind it.  The large web is the home of a Large spider, a ring of animal friendship on the guy you saw as a lookout allows invited guests to pass through it.  But since our pc’s aren’t invited, they must figure there own way around the spider.  An easy dc10 search will find a door hidden behind the spiders web.    There are no other ways out of the room, and it’s always quite apparent which way the pc’s need to go.  

Scene four:  the carpet shop
The door hidden behind the spiders web opens into a medium sized room, half of which appears to hve been a natural cave, the other half roughly hewn out of rock.  There are piles of spider silk everywhere, in varying conditions.  Some just heaped up, some, spun into thread.  On the far wall is a door, and several barrels.  Inside the barrels is more silk, soaking in an array of dyes.  The door opens into a 20 foot wide, 30 foot long room.  There is a ledge on each end with a door in it, and about a 5’ landing.  The center of the room is a 15’ deep pit.  A spot check will reveal a gray ooze at the bottom of the pit.  There is no ledge around the sides, no visible way of getting across.  There is a 8” high, 3’ wide slot directly beneath the door across the pit.  Over the door is carved the  words

first rival
earliest friend
a blood bond that cannot break
nor even bend

(answer of course is brother, that’s what Paisan means, and this was there smuggling passage, they used the ooze to not only guard the passage, but dispose of any evidence )
If the  answer is spoken, a platform slides across the room, if not, it’s up to the PC’s to find a way across. 

Opening the next door welcomes the pc’s to a very strange sight.  There is a huge loom on one wall, weaving a beautiful rug.  But what is odd is all over the room, laying on the ground, spilled over desks, are finished rugs, with there solid backing partially pulled off of them, and piles of papers, and other small objects resting beside each rug.  Open investigation, the papers turn out to be texts of holy books for just about every major known religion.  It is odd indeed that all of these are in one place.  Other documents appear to be some sort of accounting system, that is hard to decipher.  The odds and ends are small religious objects, symbols of devotions, small statues, etc.   some of the pages have been carefully sewn onto the back of the rug, to be covered up with a solid cloth backing.  Obviously someone is going to great lengths to hide these holy books in the rugs.  There should be recognizable pieces of a holy text that any cleric or paladin in the party worship.  There is a staircase leading up out of this room.  At the top of the staircase is the back room of the carpet shop.  A great array of carpets hang on the wall.  Some very plain, to very ornate  rugs.  Here’s where it matters if the lookout escaped.

If he DID NOT escape, this room is deserted, filled with nothing but hanging carpets, however, one of these is a animated carpet, set to defend the area.  It is either large  (cr 3) or huge (CR5) whichever would be more appropriate for the party.  Once the carpet is defeated, the party can proceed to the front of the store.  It is after hours, and the store is closed.  If they are spotted in the store by the town guard, they will be stopped and questioned.  Mentioning alfons name to the guards will get them released.  Hopefully enough questions have been raised that they see not everything is as it should be.  

If the lookout did escape, this final room had 4 people in it, who just happen to be waiting for them.  One is a member of the Paisans, and the other 3 are clerics of various religions, that are using the carpet shop to smuggle there holy material around the city.  One of the clerics should match up with whatever your parties affiliations are.  The group waiting for them will not attack, but will ask them how they found the secret cove, and why they are there.  Mentioning alfons will draw a response of “I thought he was getting wise to us.”  They will ask that the party to not reveal the true location, that it is vital in there efforts to combat the heavy handed censorship that is being enforced, they will also inform them that Alfons is incredibly easy to fool, and he has no real divine spellcasting abilities, despite his claim otherwise.

When they return to Alfons, he will once again go through the motions of his “truth detecting” spell, he seems to really believe he can do this, and ask the pc’s where the passage wound up.  The PC’s can tell the truth, or lie, either way, Alfons believes them.

Conclusion
After releasing of the character, they party is free to do as they please, continue on there way, putting this unfortunate incident behind them, or  seek into the corruption and try to expose the church for what it is.  If investigated, it will be found that Felor not only set the original fire that started the reformation, he also had his predecessor killed.  His power comes not from the LG god he claims to worship, but actually from a LE diety that has set him there to corrupt the opposing church.  The corruption is starting to spread to many of the lower level clergy, including Alfon. 



Primary NPCs
Alfon (lvl 5 adept)
Felor (lvl 17 cleric of  LE god)
Uncle eddee (lvl 8 bard)
Pick pocket thief, (lvl 10 rogue)
Lookout (rogue lvl 4)


----------



## cool hand luke

my hook is a subtle as a 2x4 to the head
my use of some of the ingredients as contrived as professional wrestling


----------



## WinnipegDragon

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *my hook is a subtle as a 2x4 to the head
> my use of some of the ingredients as contrived as professional wrestling *




Your self-depricating comments are unnecessary and unwarranted.


----------



## Rune

*Round 1, Match 2 Judgement: WinnipegDragon vs. Seasong*

*WinnipegDragon vs. Seasong*

This match was pleasingly close.  Please keep that in mind as the judgement proceeds, as it will force me to be particularly critical.  These are two excellent entries, but neither is flawless:

*Hooks:*

WinnipegDragon provides varried hooks, all sound, but they strike me as being a wee bit heavy-handed.  Also, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the PCs attempted to arrive by sea, but I assume that the unnaturally high tide would keep it from happening.  All in all, these are generally good hooks.

Seasong's are also varied and quite intriguing.  I give him the edge in this category.

*Plot:*

Winnipeg's premise is simple, but strong and solid.  My main problem with the scenario was that it was very linear, however.  Each piece of the puzzle lead directly to a single next piece.  Nevertheless, the Verisimilitude of the scenario holds up, except in one crucial area.  I can't figure out how the harpy would be able to maintain control over the mayor for so long when she's been lost in the maze for a week.  She's only a level 6 Sorceror.

Then, we have Seasong's plot.  This is nice and twisted, yet straightforward enough, at a glance.  As there are no obvious flaws in verisimilitude, Seasong gets this category, as well.

*Creativity:*

Winnipeg is quite creative and presents a great deal of very nice atmosphere.  The underwatern "cavern" with it's fountain is particularly great, as is the maze surrounding it.  Futhermore, Winnipege presents some very nice tactical thinking with his harpy encounter.

This will be no surprise, but Seasong's use of creativity is also stellar.  In fact, it saturates the entire scenario.  His atmosphere is excellent and oppressive and his ingredient usage is almost uniformly perfectly entwined into it.  Futhermore, the plot twist detailed is extraordinarily nice and his attention to rat-bastardly philosophies is well-appreciated.  This category is close, but is also Seasong's.

*After the Adventure:*

Winnipeg's adventure is a tight package, which is nice, but doesn't allow for much future development.  However, there is one idea that could be expanded upon, and it's a nice one.  The divine undertones (specifically the New God hinted at) present some intriguing questions.

Seasong also only provides one hook for the future, fundamentally, but the fact that it can be expanded indefinitely more than makes up for it.  It's especially nice to see what will happen as the harpy and the sphinx grow in power, or if the PCs ignore the threat.

*Ingredients:*

_Sphinx_

Winnipeg's sphinx works well.  She's a great character and a great catalyst.

However, Seasong's sphinx has an extraordinarily well-developed character, and the focus on the territorial nature of sphinxes is quite well done.

_Maze_

Winnipeg's maze has good flavor and is in particularly imaginative location.

Again, however, Seasong's use of the ingredient, astounds me.  Making the city a maze could easily have been a cliche, but Seasong manages to avoid that trap.  His maze has almost as much character as the sphinx who runs it.

_Bag of Tricks_

This, I feel, was Winnipeg's weakest ingredient.  It just seems too tacked on.  It really could have been left out, save for the fact that it was required.

By contrast, this is Seasong's _best_ ingredient.  It's just downright brilliant.  It is excellent to note that Seasong ties almost all of his ingredients together well and tightly, but The use of the Bag of tricks stands out as simply outstanding.

_Waterlogged totem_

While WinnipegDragon's totem isn't, strictly speaking, waterlogged, it is, nevertheless, implimented very well.  This is, without a doubt, Winnipeg's strongest ingredient.  It has great atmosphere and helps hold the structure of the scenario together, grounding the seemingly fantastic in verisimilitude.  Excellent work, Winnipeg.

And in this case, it's better than Seasong's.  Given the excellence of the implimentation of the other ingredients, I'm disappointed with how tacked on and superficial this one seems.

_Paranoid City_

Winnipeg has created a city (and I like the fact that it's pretty small) that I'll want to insert into a campaign sometime.  It's got great atmosphere and a lively feel, even while it looks over its shoulder with paranoid glances.

But, I simply can't believe how much character Seasong's has.  It's really its own character.  Merging the city with the maze (while still keeping them seperate) is brilliant.

_Harpy_

This one would be Winnipeg's, too, if not for the hole in verisimilitude mentioned previously.  She's got good character and tactics.

That's not to say that Seasong's version isn't good.  It's just that Seasong's version doesn't seem to have as much character as his other major NPC, the sphinx.  However, the motivations and personality are quite believable.

*Conclusion:*

This was a close match, all the way through, whether or not my critique emphasizes it.  Winnipeg, you are a very talented writer and your entry is excellent, but *Seasong* shows with this entry exactly why he is reigning champion.

I hope to see more of you in future Iron DM tournaments, WinnipegDragon, but this time, Seasong advances to Round 2!


----------



## anonystu

*Re: The Judge's apology.*

Thank you for the apology, Rune. I didn't feel like your analysis was unfair, but rather just sort of sad that a large amount of my effort just went to something that, in retrospect, was so obviously wrong.  I felt embarassed that what to me, was clearly a result of interpreting the contest differently, instead came across as mass ineptitude on my scale. When you say that the two entries were of completely different classes, I agree: I entered, mistakenly, into the "Abstract of a module" class, while Nemmerle entered into the "module without statblocks" class. He says it needs some polishing, but I think it would run great straight out of the post.

Let me also say that I still have more interest in playing a final product of Nemmerle's than mine: while Nemmerle's reminds me of a lot of Cthluhu, I a) love cthulhu, and b) think that throwing a curve at players used to traditional high fantasy with this break is a great idea, and c) it's exactly the kind of game I like (that the PC's are agents in a game which continues whether or not they act).

I'll do the proper exposition later, since I'm interested in going over what my expanded, full idea was before I started cutting it down to the 'right size'.

Let's also say, I appreciate your work as judge: being the organizer of a convention (no, no plug, I'm staying good ), I understand the huge amount of work (almost always unappreciated) that goes into organizing anything, let alone, organizing well. Thanks for doing this.

So, what I offer is not criticism, but rather advice for whoever runs Iron DM Fall 2003, which I will gladly participate in.

I think a lot of what could be done to help this is to codify the rules more: rather than relying on people sifting past threads, just come up with a simple, concise, and clear set of rules, and issues like howandwhy99's "plagarism", and this, won't come up as often.

The length issue: 

The question to me is not one of: what's the reasonable interpretation of what was said at the front of this thread (which would be unproductive at this point), but rather, what's a more interesting tournament in the long run? Are the pressures of trying to tie together six disparate elements into a coherent abstract of an outline more interesting than trying to write what amounts to a module minus stat blocks?

I think, given the results shown here and elsewhere, that the latter is more desirable. So, encode this. Something like the following would work (please make suggestions):
--
Length: The level of detail is at your discretion, but we encourage entries to resemble anything between encounter outlines and full modules. Note that length or padding is not considered a virtue: whatever you can use best to clearly communicate your idea to the judge.

Most entries have tended to average around 3-6 pages in word (single-spaced), as a rough guideline.
--

2) Systems: The dynamic here is that I clearly wanted to write a non-fantasy setting: while I can write and like playing fantasy, I wanted to earn those creativity points. This is why I tried to ascertain whether I could do this early. I was disappointed when my post was taken with a grain of salt because of using d20 modern: I didn't have the "room" to include d20 modern, and thought that both d20 modern was, while not common, certainly not uncommon.

Next, there was the SRD to fall back on: if you had wanted to know what Department 7 was, google's first link, takes you straight to the SRD.

If only you had told me, that either: the burden of clarity rests on the author for including all non-X setting material, or had just told me you knew spycraft, I could have either included the setting material necessary, or just adapated it to spycraft (which is one of my favorite games, although as my exposition will talk about, the spycraft version of this that was conceived and dismissed, had a much different flavor to it).

The trick is of course, what's the non-x in the previous statement? Is it non-srd? non-core rulebook? non-greyhawk? non-fantasy? non-high-magic-standard-high-fantasy? 

That's why I'd recommend being open about it: at the start, with the rules, post the settings you're familiar with: players will know what they can write towards, either by choosing to include setting information, or by picking something they know the judge is familiar with.

There is a balancing tradeoff: on one hand, standard fantasy SRD games are much more 'useful': more campaigns will be able to use them off the bat. On the other hand, encouraging creative writing is what this is all about. I leave whoever runs Iron DM Fall 2003 to balance this.

Scheduling: A 8-player single elimination has 7 battles to it. While I understand the need for this to not drag on forever, especially for the one organizing, I think staggering the battles lets the spectating, the debating,  the basking, take place better: I still haven't processed all the entries yet. A day a piece, with assumedly 3 days of "couldn't schedule anyone here", is only a 10-day affair for something that is a 3-month issue. This is of course, only determinable by your amount of free time, although I don't think it lengthens it much, just spreads it out, and I think it would be a bit more exciting.

I think there are a lot of other minor things which could be codified to the benefit of all, but those are the main issues I wanted to bring up.

I hope this has been helpful. Apology accepted, and I'm excited to read the rest of this. I also encourage any debate to make this and the next iron DM better.

--stu (a he, to finally clear that up)


----------



## WinnipegDragon

Well, sucks to be me then 

Nicely done Seasong!  I agree with a lot of what Rune has written already, so good luck in round 2.

I have to admit the bag of tricks stumped me.  I had an idea but was forced to abandon it when I got home last night and checked the books.  I was hoping one of the creatures from the bag would be aquatic, so that the harpy would have used it to help find the totem.  The villagers would have found corpses of unusual animals floating nearby as she tossed the 'fuzzy balls' from the bag into the water one by one until an aquatic one appeared.

The two problems that killed this idea:  No aquatic animals in a bag of tricks, and the drowned animals would have returned to the bag on death.

That killed my original idea, and I was sort of forced to 'tack-on' the bag elsewhere.  I knew that, and the relatively closed conclusion were going to hurt me


----------



## Greybar

*Iron DM Summer - Round 1, Match 3 - Cool Hand Luke vs. Greybar*

*The Winds of Al-Hayhim*
_an adventure for four characters of 5th or 6th level_


*Bungling adept*
*Secret cove*
*Unsavory stew*
*Ioun stone*
*Carpet shop*
*Ooze*

_The market square of the seaside town of Gheni is abuzz with rumors that swirl like the winds from the dusty plains.  The nobleman Karim ibn Rashad has returned from his arcane business in the capital and found one of his possessions missing.  His apprentice Umar is said to have been whipped and sent forth to recover the missing item and now he too has been lost.  Now Umar's mother weeps for her lost son while the noble wizard fumes.  The word spoken between the stalls of the market is that the wizard seeks for a group to recover his lost magical carpet and the *bumbling adept* that went after it._

Karim ibn Rashad is a busy man.  A very busy man. This is quite clear in his demeanor and in his very words.  He has much business that keeps him away from his country home, business of both a political and arcane nature that he will not speak of.  He brought the local boy, Umar, on as an apprentice because he felt he had potential - much better than his last apprentice Jalil who he dismissed a few years ago for insolence.  He still thinks that Jalil stole his tome on Jubilex.  As a subtext, it is clear that he feels any wizard of his rank is supposed to have an apprentice or two.  He is terribly disappointed in the boy's lack of discipline, making comments like "You just can't get good apprentices anymore" and "Young men these days have no respect for their betters."  The more that the players pry here, the more they find out about Jalil and Karim's general opinion of apprentices.  Karim is not secretive about these matters, though he will stonewall any questions about his out-of-town business.

While Karim was out of town, Umar was instructed to liquidate certain assets of his master's in order to help raise funds for Karim's work.  A number of pieces of fine furniture and other household items were sold.  However, a man managed to convince Umar to part with a carpet that was not on the list.  A carpet that had been hanging on the wall of Karim's study for some time.  A _carpet of flying_ from Karim's younger days, known as _The Winds of Al-Hayhim_.  It is an item of substantial sentimental value, Karim says, and he wants it recovered before the thief uncovers its command word.

The carpet buyer is named Aziz, works for a local *carpet shop*.  He admits to being the buyer, but merely says that he saw a carpet that appeared to be of finer make than its dusty appearance belied.  He found a buyer for the carpet the same day, a fellow with an *ioun stone* circling his head.  He disclaims any knowledge of the man's whereabouts.  If the PCs are good interrogators they can find out a few things: that Aziz is a paltry sorcerer who uses _charm person_ to facilitate his dealings, that Aziz was approached by the ioun-stone man ahead of time specifically to acquire the carpet, and that the man with the ioun-stone had a old woman with him who kept herself wrapped in a hooded cloak.

The PCs can find out the general direction that the ioun-stone man went: towards the shore.  As a backup to this line of questioning, asking around the marketplace can gather some people who remember a man with a circling stone around his head and the way he headed.  Townspeople can confirm that Umar also followed these same clues before he went missing.  With a bit more asking, they can learn that Umar mentioned strange watery burn marks around Karim's estate that he also found at the carpet shop.  These marks have been largely cleaned up by the time that the heroes arrive on the scene however.

Searching along the shoreline, the heroes come across a *secret cove*.  Keen trackers can even find Umar's trail.  There they find a cave with what appears to be an old woman in a cloak cooking up something rather delicious smelling in a stone kettle.  If surprised, the sea hag will kick over the kettle in their direction and throw back her hood to catch them with her appearance and gaze attack.  If she hears them coming, she will probably retreat back into the cave and let the contents of the kettle surprise them.  The stone kettle may smell good, but that is deceiving.  It actually contains the still recognizable body parts of Umar, slowly being digested by a grey *ooze* that the hag and her wizard consort are trying to train and manipulate.  It is a rather *unsavory stew* in retrospect.  The GM should play up the combination of the unsettling contents of the kettle, the smell of the sea, and the horrific appearance of the hag to the limits of his player's taste.

After the heroes bested the hag and ooze and start to explore the cave the ioun-stone'd oozemaster Jalil returns.  This is indeed the Jalil that had served as an apprentice to Karim and been dismissed.  _The Winds of Al-Hayhim_ is in a back room of the cave in a stone chest along with other treasure of Jalil and the hag's, guarded by a second grey ooze.

Mechanics:
Jalil - Wiz5/OozeMaster2 (CR7) - notable items: Scarlet and Blue Ioun Stone.  I have a hard time seeing the OozeMaster (Masters of Wild) as a tough PrC, so I expect this won't be as tough as the CR7 might otherwise indicate.
Karyijl - Sea Hag (CR4)
Grey Ooze (CR4)

Hooks:
* More money-driven parties can be drawn to the reward that Karim offers for the return of his property and information about the fate of his apprentice.
* Good-hearted parties can meet Umar's weeping mother, who just wants her son back.

Where to go from here:
Jalil has been working with fiendish allies of the hag to increase his own powers until he was ready to work his revenge upon Karim.  This is only the first step.  The ambitious GM should feel free to take the idea of Karim's mysterious business, Jalil and the hag's fiendish patron, and work together a bigger plot for the heroes to follow.


----------



## cool hand luke

WinnipegDragon said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Your self-depricating comments are unnecessary and unwarranted. *




sorry, those comments just came to me, thought they were funny.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *
> 
> sorry, those comments just came to me, thought they were funny. *




No, no.  No need to apologize!  I just hate to see people get down on themselves, and I guess the sarcasm was hard to convey through the post.

My apologies if I offended!


----------



## Rune

*Re: Re: The Judge's apology.*



			
				anonystu said:
			
		

> Thank you for the apology, Rune. I didn't feel like your analysis was unfair, but rather just sort of sad that a large amount of my effort just went to something that, in retrospect, was so obviously wrong.  I felt embarassed that what to me, was clearly a result of interpreting the contest differently, instead came across as mass ineptitude on my scale.




I never interpreted your entry as inept.  It was really quite good.  On par with many winning entries in past tournaments, even.  But it was far too ambitious for the length limit imposed upon it.  That aside, I do appeciate brevity.  The key is to be concise and still say what you need to say.



> Let's also say, I appreciate your work as judge: being the organizer of a convention (no, no plug, I'm staying good ), I understand the huge amount of work (almost always unappreciated) that goes into organizing anything, let alone, organizing well. Thanks for doing this.




Thank you.  In all honesty, I wanted to play this one 



> So, what I offer is not criticism, but rather advice for whoever runs Iron DM Fall 2003, which I will gladly participate in.




And I hope to see you in it!



> I think a lot of what could be done to help this is to codify the rules more: rather than relying on people sifting past threads, just come up with a simple, concise, and clear set of rules, and issues like howandwhy99's "plagarism", and this, won't come up as often.




Here's where I disagree with you.  It is true that such a codified ruleset would help make things easier, especially on the judge, but, in the end, I think it would strip the tournament of one of its most fun aspects: trying to second-guess the judge.  In each of the tournaments that I played in, this was the most fun part.  Only rarely do serious differences of interpretation rise up.  In your case, you had to figure out whether I weighed strict adherance to guidelines more heavily than I weighed a superior entry.  Perhaps my adherance to the no-editing clause threw you off.  In the end, you took a gamble and lost, but it was not necessarily a foolish gamble.  Just the wrong one.



> The question to me is not one of: what's the reasonable interpretation of what was said at the front of this thread (which would be unproductive at this point), but rather, what's a more interesting tournament in the long run? Are the pressures of trying to tie together six disparate elements into a coherent abstract of an outline more interesting than trying to write what amounts to a module minus stat blocks?




I think the pressures of trying to second-guess the judge fill that niche, nicely.  You had the misfortune of being in the first match, but then, so did Nemmerle.  If he had insight into my method of thinking, it was only a slight advantage given him by paying attention to my posts elsewhere and, especially, in previous tournaments.  But I linked to those tournaments in that same first post, so I'm not counting it as much of an advantage, if any.



> Length: The level of detail is at your discretion, but we encourage entries to resemble anything between encounter outlines and full modules. Note that length or padding is not considered a virtue: whatever you can use best to clearly communicate your idea to the judge.




You know my thoughts on this, what are others?



> Most entries have tended to average around 3-6 pages in word (single-spaced), as a rough guideline.




And I'll go ahead and say it.  So far, all of the entries (except for anonystu's) have bordered on being too long.  While, ultimately, the length of an entry is really a subjective measure of how well it flows and is paced, I do have a short attention span and I can be overwhelmed.



> 2) Systems: The dynamic here is that I clearly wanted to write a non-fantasy setting: while I can write and like playing fantasy, I wanted to earn those creativity points. This is why I tried to ascertain whether I could do this early. I was disappointed when my post was taken with a grain of salt because of using d20 modern: I didn't have the "room" to include d20 modern, and thought that both d20 modern was, while not common, certainly not uncommon.




In all honesty, I was delighted that you were going to use a different system.  People have always shied away from it, but I think it was a good move.  What was a bad move, however, was trying to do it in so few paragraphs.  I want you to know that I judged the constistancy of your entry within itself.  What I meant by saying that I would take it with a grain of salt is that I would have to keep in mind that I knew nothing about the campaign.  I was specifically referring to what seemed like a hole in verisimilitude.  In the end, it didn't count against you at all.



> Next, there was the SRD to fall back on: if you had wanted to know what Department 7 was, google's first link, takes you straight to the SRD.
> 
> If only you had told me, that either: the burden of clarity rests on the author for including all non-X setting material, or had just told me you knew spycraft, I could have either included the setting material necessary, or just adapated it to spycraft (which is one of my favorite games, although as my exposition will talk about, the spycraft version of this that was conceived and dismissed, had a much different flavor to it).




The burden of clarity _always_ rests upon the author.  I can only assume so much, and the author should, likewise, only assume so much.



> The trick is of course, what's the non-x in the previous statement? Is it non-srd? non-core rulebook? non-greyhawk? non-fantasy? non-high-magic-standard-high-fantasy?




You broke a boundary, today, and you should be commended for it.  That's always tough.  You may have lost this round, but one thing I can assure you of; you've changed the way the game will be played, henceforth.  That's a damned big accomplishment.



> Scheduling: A 8-player single elimination has 7 battles to it. While I understand the need for this to not drag on forever, especially for the one organizing, I think staggering the battles lets the spectating, the debating,  the basking, take place better: I still haven't processed all the entries yet. A day a piece, with assumedly 3 days of "couldn't schedule anyone here", is only a 10-day affair for something that is a 3-month issue. This is of course, only determinable by your amount of free time, although I don't think it lengthens it much, just spreads it out, and I think it would be a bit more exciting.




You're right, but it's a delicate balance.  I've seen (and been in) tournaments that dragged on for way too long and it ain't pretty.  I can assure you, though, that the later rounds won't go so quickly.



> I hope this has been helpful. Apology accepted, and I'm excited to read the rest of this. I also encourage any debate to make this and the next iron DM better.




Thank you for the insights.  They are greatly appreciated.


----------



## Rune

WinnipegDragon said:
			
		

> *I have to admit the bag of tricks stumped me.  I had an idea but was forced to abandon it when I got home last night and checked the books.  I was hoping one of the creatures from the bag would be aquatic, so that the harpy would have used it to help find the totem.  The villagers would have found corpses of unusual animals floating nearby as she tossed the 'fuzzy balls' from the bag into the water one by one until an aquatic one appeared.
> 
> The two problems that killed this idea:  No aquatic animals in a bag of tricks, and the drowned animals would have returned to the bag on death.
> 
> That killed my original idea, and I was sort of forced to 'tack-on' the bag elsewhere.  I knew that, and the relatively closed conclusion were going to hurt me  *




Not to bum you out, but that's where creative interpretation comes in.


----------



## Greybar

One of the toughest things for me in these, and I think WinnipegDragon might agree, is getting stuck on your own ideas.  I won't say too much on my own as an example in specific until the exposition stage.  However, once I grab that first image from the ingredients I find it hard to toss the whole shebang and start over - even if that means that sixth ingredient gets a little stool by the corner of the submission.

John
p.s. oh, and I've gotta say - once again I stand in awe of Seasong's work.


----------



## cool hand luke

i've got a question, did you guys start with ANY preconcieved idea for the story line?  I think that was my undoing.  I decided I'm not creative enough to start from scratch, so I develloped a general setting that I was going to try to plop the ingredients in.  Looking back, I think this was a bad move.


----------



## el-remmen

Greybar said:
			
		

> *One of the toughest things for me in these, and I think WinnipegDragon might agree, is getting stuck on your own ideas.  I won't say too much on my own as an example in specific until the exposition stage.  However, once I grab that first image from the ingredients I find it hard to toss the whole shebang and start over - even if that means that sixth ingredient gets a little stool by the corner of the submission.
> 
> John
> p.s. oh, and I've gotta say - once again I stand in awe of Seasong's work. *




I thought right off of an aquatic mind-flayer - because I could not imagine even a claustrophobic one living on the surface of the world and under the sun.

Once I had that idea, and illithids being a big cthuloid - wrapping things up into a sacrifice (using the altar element) just seemed natural - it was the "crazed mentor" that gave me trouble.  

I kept thinking it was "sunken ship", but when I saw it was "sinking ship" I made the spare boat be in disrepair, thus basiclaly guaranteeing that the PCs woould have to take over one of the other boats.  

I really have no idea where the chest = mimic idea came from - it just popped into my head because I needed more possible combat encounters.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Not to bum you out, but that's where creative interpretation comes in. *




It can't help to bum me out a bit 

I took it that adherence to the D20 core books was a necessity.  Even something like how Wicenna managed to maintain a charm for a week crossed my mind, but if I had done a stat block or more history on her, I would have included a scroll of Geas or the like to account for her additional enchantment firepower.  The bag of tricks, to my mind, didn't allow my original idea, and would have confused the players.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

Greybar said:
			
		

> *One of the toughest things for me in these, and I think WinnipegDragon might agree, is getting stuck on your own ideas.  I won't say too much on my own as an example in specific until the exposition stage.  However, once I grab that first image from the ingredients I find it hard to toss the whole shebang and start over - even if that means that sixth ingredient gets a little stool by the corner of the submission.
> 
> John
> p.s. oh, and I've gotta say - once again I stand in awe of Seasong's work. *






			
				cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *i've got a question, did you guys start with ANY preconcieved idea for the story line?  I think that was my undoing.  I decided I'm not creative enough to start from scratch, so I develloped a general setting that I was going to try to plop the ingredients in.  Looking back, I think this was a bad move. *




I formulated relationships between objects, and then built the storyline.  In this case it was Totem+Maze=Harpy's Goal.  Bag of Tricks+Gynosphinx=Paranoid City.

After that it was just a point of relating the two together, in this case the proximity of the city and maze.  The bag of tricks just didn't get used in my first inspiration, and had to be associated with something causing the city's paranoia.  Random horrificc animal maulings sounded like it would do the trick, but I guess not.


----------



## seasong

WinnipegDragon said:
			
		

> I have to admit the bag of tricks stumped me.



I always fear the exposition part, because that's where I explain what a dumba** I am. The bag of tricks was the _only good idea I had_. If you look through the entry, you'll see that I fell back on my strengths (characterization and description) to cover the fact that I was essentially using clichés. Rune liked my _description_ of a maze-like city, but even he commented that it was a cliché .

What really got me going in this round was the idea of having to chase a caffeinated weasel through ruinous buildings. Which was, I think, an incredibly great idea, one that's going into my DM's bag of tricks, if you'll pardon the expression.



> That killed my original idea, and I was sort of forced to 'tack-on' the bag elsewhere.  I knew that, and the relatively closed conclusion were going to hurt me



Well, I tacked on the totem, so I think we're even.


----------



## Pielorinho

seasong said:
			
		

> *What really got me going in this round was the idea of having to chase a caffeinated weasel through ruinous buildings. Which was, I think, an incredibly great idea, one that's going into my DM's bag of tricks, if you'll pardon the expression.
> *




It's a great image, but as my earlier post suggested, my first thought on reading it was, "Dude! Put a leash around its neck!"

Must come from working for an animal control department .  Anyway folks who run this ought to be prepared for PCs leashing the critter and thereby avoiding this otherwise great scene (I hear old-time Keystone Kops-style piano music playing the soundtrack for it).

Daniel


----------



## seasong

*anonystu:* Even though you didn't make it to the second round, I wanted to thank you. I wouldn't have been brave enough to go outside the D&D milieu without someone else going first. Not saying I will in the next round or two, but I can feel my cowardly little heart opening up to the possibility now.

*Greybar:* Yeah. There's tricks to getting around it, and ways to combat it, but the passion of inspiration often gives you the feeling of _perfection_ even when that's a damned lie.

*cool hand luke:* In one of the competitions I was in, I had a background setting in mind. It hurt my entries, I think - being creative was harder when I had this comfortable rut, and it also restricted some of my choices... especially when the Judge had no such restrictions on the kind of weird stuff they might toss out as so-called ingredients .

-seasong

PS: WHOO HOO! SECOND ROUND, HERE I COME!


----------



## cool hand luke

how DO they come up with those ingredient lists?  WAY more creative than me, let me tell you.


----------



## Rune

WinnipegDragon said:
			
		

> *I took it that adherence to the D20 core books was a necessity.*




Then you obviously haven't read some of my old entries! 



> *Even something like how Wicenna managed to maintain a charm for a week crossed my mind... *




That would have been fine, but you needed to explain it and didn't.  Hence, a hole in verisimilitude.  (If I seem to use that word, often, there's a reason.)


----------



## Rune

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *how DO they come up with those ingredient lists?  WAY more creative than me, let me tell you. *




Every judge has a different method.


----------



## cool hand luke

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hence, a hole in verisimilitude.  (If I seem to use that word, often, there's a reason.) *




let me guess, either

A.  you were a finalist in the national spelling bee, that was the word you missed dashing forever your hopes of glory.  You have been obsessed with it ever since.

b.  You have a word of the day calendar, tomorrow your word will be valetudinarian.

or, c. you are part owner of www.dictionary.com, and you want to make sure your sight get's used alot.


----------



## Rune

Close, cool hand luke (love the name, by the way), but not quite.

I mention it frequently, because it's probably the most important ingredient in a good scenario, setting, or campaign.  Period.  Suspension of disbelief is required to play the game, but verisimilitude is required to make it happen.


----------



## el-remmen

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *how DO they come up with those ingredient lists?  WAY more creative than me, let me tell you. *




Have I ever posted my rejected list iof ingredients I came up with for a final once?  I decided they were impossible - though anyone is welcome to give them a try.  (I have one idea of how it could be done).



> Blind Beholder
> Headless Hydra
> Bald Medusa
> Wingless Roc
> Lodestone
> Alcohol Prohibition


----------



## Rune

*Round 1, Match 4: Wulf Ratbane vs. lightful*

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)

*Ancient elf
Albino elves
Prayer beads
Specimen collection
Withered garden
Phase spider*

You have exactly 24 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck.


----------



## lightful

Got 'em !


----------



## Quickbeam

Greetings everyone!!

I am _very_ excited to see the return of Iron DM, albeit in my absence.  What with a new job, coaching little league, an upcoming wedding between my best friend and younger sister...well, you can imagine life is rather busy.  Which is to say, I wouldn't have dared to compete this time around for fear of humiliating myself based on lack of time.

I wish all of the contestants -- veterans and rookies alike -- a great competition.  The tournament is certainly is capable hands with Rune at the helm, and I'm anxious to see the tales unfold!!

**special note**
Please begin the call for contestants in the Iron DM Tournament of Champions early.  I would be crushed to miss it...and a chance to match wits with Seasong (revenge shall be mine !), Wulf, and others.


----------



## cool hand luke

waiting for your critique is absolutely brutal.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Quickbeam said:
			
		

> ***special note**
> Please begin the call for contestants in the Iron DM Tournament of Champions early.  I would be crushed to miss it...and a chance to match wits with Seasong (revenge shall be mine !), Wulf, and others. *




I appreciate the sentiment, but I have never actually made it past the second round...


Wulf


----------



## WinnipegDragon

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *waiting for your critique is absolutely brutal. *




Isn't it though?


----------



## lightful

*Round 1 entry*

Ingredients 

ancient elf
albino elves
prayer beads
specimen collection
withered garden
phase spider


"Hear our prayers... "

This is intended as an adventure for high(er) level characters. What exactly that might be varies greatly from campaign to campaign. However, the capability for extra planar travel will be necessary.	


PROLOGUE


	The Bielaja are a strain of ALBINO ELVES living to the far north of the world, beneath the surface where almost nothing grows and fierce winds whip through the icy tunnels. Living as primitive hunters and gatherers, sheltering from the merciless elements in natural caverns they developed a simple yet unique religion based upon two figures: The Giver is the source of all light, warmth and life, while the Taker must be appeased lest he lay claim to even more still. 

	Prayers uttered by the Bielaja fluttered to the outer planes, beyond the knowledge of their originators. Thanks for bounty were heard by the Seldarine, while pleas for mercy were whispered in Lloths ears. Faith strengthens all divine beings and a faith divided benefits none, so both godly parties preffered to be the sole focus of the Bielaja’s devotions and both chose to employ the same methods.

	They chose a mortal champion, one of their faithful, and infused them with the merest wisp of divine favor so that they might hear the prayers of the Bielaja and take steps to gather all of their piety for their respective causes. Lloth empowered an unusual drow, Noxilea Thyr’athagh, the youngest child of a powerful house, who chose to devote herself to the socerous talent roiling in her blood. The Seldarine retained the services of Asquilla, a devout elven druid living on the surface far to the south.
	Newly ascended, yet not fully divine, these quasi-powers established their realms on demi-planes in the Deep Ethereal; a twisting cavernous hold and a brightly verdant garden. They contested for the Bielaja’s devotions, working from afar at first, emulating their patrons, then ever closer, bending to the task, sending their minions, PHASE SPIDERS and treants, working now less and less on bringing their chosen flock into their own fold and ever more on stopping the machinations of the other side. Finally, they took the step that no true diety takes lightly and engaged each other in direct confrontation. 
	This proved their undoing, in laying waste to each other they snuffed out their divine essences and destroyed their respective realms: Noxilea’s hold caved in upon itself while Asquilla’s GARDEN WITHERED. Their godly masters forgot about them and wrote off the effort spent converting the Bielaja as lost, resuming their endless struggles on a thousand other mortal worlds.

TODAY

	Lloth was incensed by her chosens failure, and subjected her to the same horrid fate awaiting all failed drow; Noxilea was transformed into a drider. Homeless and wandering the ethereal with her retinue of phase spiders, driven mad by the divine power she had held and lost, she finally spun her home (literally) among the boughs of Asquilla’s withered garden. Asquilla herself returned to her world, as touched as her counterpart. Forsaking her lush southern homeland, she lives near the Bielaja, wandering the harsh landscape scraping lichens and moss for sustenance from the cavern walls, appearing as an ANCIENT ELF with wild white hair, festooned with PRAYER BEADS, forever counting them, mumbling, imagining she still hears the Bielaja’s pleas on the howling wind, hoping madly against hope that one day there will be enough of them for her to truly ascend back to her onetime position.

              Noxilea, brooding madly in the dark, has given herself over to macabre experiments, twisting her phase spiders in various ways (apply templates as the fancy strikes you, chimeric, half-golem, fiendish, wood element and vile are all appealing possibilities). Having built up a sizeable COLLECTION of SPECIMENS, she hit at last upon an idea: Those miserable elves which percipetated her fall would suffer as she has – she’d turn every last one of them into driders (see the WOTC site).

ENTER THE PC’S

	If the PC’s are traveling the northern Underdark they could be staying with the Bielaja. They could meet a group of them and be invited to share their meager hearths. They could be pointed to them by divinations concerning Asquilla (who was a figure of some  stature prior to her disappearance). If one of the PC’s is a follower of the Seldarine, they could even be sent directly to them in order to attempt to bring them into the flock again.

	Among the Bielaja they here tell of an ancient ghostly figure roaming the surrounding halls, mumbling with the wind. Others may mention that recently several hunting expeditions have failed to return (this is Noxilea starting to send her spiders to abduct the Bielaja, carrying them off to the ethereal – I realize that the mechanics of ethereal jaunt don’t allow for it but it’s conceivable that Noxilea bred it into them). On the PC’s second night with the tribe several spiders attack the main village, encampment or hollowed out cliff face (depending on how primitive you’ve decided to portray the Bielaja). This should be enough to stir the heroes into action.

	Depending on the PC’s capabilities they may be able to follow the spiders into the ethereal, or they may consider the ancient ghost to be a clue. Gather Information checks among the tribe might reveal that there was a far distant time when dreams, omens and portents were rampant, but nothing more. Asquilla will be incoherent if approached, interspersing refences to her “tall, bright trees” with counting “three thousand from the hunters of the fish and two hundred more from the women at their skins” counting off from the numerous prayer beads looped about her body. Spending enough time with her (a week, ten days or anything you think is right) will enable attentive listeners to piece together her story, although by then it might be too late for the Bielaja ! If she is attacked she will defend herself as powerful druid. Bardic Lore checks or divinations will give quicker answers.

	Whatever the case, the Bielaja will need the PC’s to protect them, and ultimately discover and unearth the power behind the attacks. If successful this will invariably lead them to the Ethereal Plane.

INTO THE ETHER

	Once the PC’s are on to Noxilea’s dastardly scheme, stopping her is a comparatively simple matter of shifting into the ethereal plane and tracking her spiders across it to her hideout. This can be as easy or as difficult as you choose. Ether cyclones, secretive mages and fiends or celestials on unexplained errands are all good encounters. Tracking phase spiders across the Deep Ethereal should be a feather in any adventurers cap ! Ultimately they should succseed and enter the Withered Garden.

	This place is truly a mockery of what it once was. Tangled undergrowth cracks with every step, trees creak ominously and the stench of death is everpresent. Spiderwebs are everywhere. Skeletal (WOTC site) tendriculi and assassin vines, along with some of Noxilea’s more hideous creations will assail the characters as they make their way towards her lair spun from living webs among the boughs of the dead trees. A final guardian will await them before they may enter: a fully advanced, corrupted (vile template) treant will hide, stock still, until the characters are in melee range before attacking, animating other drywood (treants with the zombie template (Dragon or WOTC site)) as he does so.

	Breaching this final barrier the characters may enter and battle Noxilea and as many assorted phase spiders as you see fit in her own lair (Balance, Tumble and Jump checks galore !). This ought to be a challenge unto itself, but adding insult to injury might be including a few more driders, newly transformed Bielaja into the mix ! The characters may want to avoid slaying these unfortunates in the hope of being able to reverse the transformation. 

DENOUMENT

	Once the characters are triumphant, any number of possibilities open up. Curing any transformed Bielaja is a priority, but any druids, rangers or elves will consider that restoring the withered garden almost as important (if they’ve figured out that it once was glorious). All this mortal activity could spark a renewal of interest in the Bielaja from both the Seldarine and Lloth in which case Asquilla’s role is most assuredly not over. Plenty of opportunities for the enterprising DM.


----------



## lightful

*Ask and you shall recieve...*

And to think that I humbly requsted a halfling paladin for my match with Wulf...instead I got not one, but two nancy boy ingredients. Christmas came early 

(Now watch as Wulf wipes the floor with me)

Kudos to anyone who spots what appears to be a shameless suck-up to Rune, but actually wasn't intended as one !

Wulf, all the best.

Seasong, I thought your entry was a thing of pure wonder !

Do these ingredients that Wulf and I are working with seem familiar to anyone ? I could swear that there was a previous Iron DM with something along the same lines. It involved a tower where time stood still or something of that sort.

(Smart move there, question the judges originality, really bright)


----------



## seasong

Exposition! So, here's where I reveal what a poser I am...

My first step was to check out Rune's older work. I was somewhat familiar with it already, having been in some of the same IronDMs in the past, but a review never hurt. Two things I like in his work are the grey areas and open-ended "endings". Normally in IronDMs, I try to narrow things down to Good and Evil, because that makes it easy for the Judge to follow, but I decided that with Rune at the helm, a good "there are no good guys" city was exactly what the doctor ordered.

So that was kind of cool.

And when I saw the bag of tricks and city and maze, I had a flash of inspiration: caffeinated ferret, crumbly walls, PCs that have to follow the ferret. (The idea of a leash has been pointed out to me - the people pointing this out have obviously not tried to leash a ferret, it doesn't stick; and that's why I mentioned how sickly and slow the animal looked, anyway).

After that, it kind of went downhill in the creativity department.

In order to get the crumbly walls I wanted, I knew right off that there was going to be a city maze. My first time, I had a maze built within the city just like any other building, by a mad inventor from ages past, which was long since abandoned. I came up with a bunch of ways to make sure that you had to _go through the maze_ rather than simply teleport, dimension door, etc.

Yeah, it was a poor choice. I fixed it later.

The harpy was an instant fit - she was calling the bag of tricks animal. This also gave me TWO action scenes: chasing the trick, and fighting a harpy.

Then I came back to the paranoid city. This is an evocative, beautiful ingredient. It's the sort of thing I normally just eat up. Couldn't think of a damned thing, other than a brief toying with the idea of making the city that drow city Drizz't is from. Ugh.

Waterlogged totem? Feh. I couldn't think of anything immediately, so I left it alone.

The sphinx was next (I usually go through the ingredients in reverse order except for the ones that inspire me immediately), so I went and looked her up in the monster manual. Most D&Ders don't examine the relationships of the sphinxes much, but there are _three_ species of male and one girl sphinx... and two of the three guys are essentially described as stupid jerks who "constantly seek" gynosphinxes. Now, given that the gynosphinx's primary love in life is intellectual challenge, does that seem like a good match up?

So I decided on a gynosphinx, and began delving through what she was. The gynosphinx is INT 18 _base_, loves riddles and puzzles (which mazes fit), are Neutral (neither good nor evil; they can do great good and still eat prey sentients, for example). That's when the REAL maze hit me, and although a Maze City is about as cliché as they come, I knew I had to do it to be true to Evaneskos.

So I wrote up a persuasive history for how what I wanted came to pass, made it obscure enough and small enough to fit into some pocket of anyone's D&D setting, threw in gnomes because gnomes are cool, and I had some good beginnings..

Except that the damned harpy couldn't fit into the new maze very easily. Nor was there a compelling reason for the party to be in an obscure, obviously messed up city... nor, for that matter, was the sphinx involved in the scenario - she was just back dressing, there to explain why the city was cool like it was.

In making grey areas, I'd written myself into a corner with no one to fight.

So I slept on it, woke up, moped early yesterday morning, and considered posting what I had as an "incomplete seasong is a loser" entry. Ugh.

Didn't want to do that, still had a few hours, boss was away from work... so I worked on it. I decided that the sphinx would be the employer. Rune thankfully didn't notice that there was no reason she needed to be a _sphinx_, specifically - you could have put in a doppleganger or rakshasa and it would have fit as well (better, for the rakshasa). I fooled him, of course, by making Evaneskos a compelling character - SHE had to be a sphinx to be who she was, even if her sphinxness wasn't germane to the plot.

Then I made up some stuff about Yau being too gluttonous for her harpy sisters and finding her way to the city. I made a feat so she could function in a city, ignored some issues on how her power worked, and then "inspiration" struck - I'd put her in the waterlogged totem! Yeah! Brilliant! Rune rightfully called me on it .

The rest was just going back and fixing up some hooks; all employment hooks, for which I am sad (I would have liked two or three seemingly heroic hooks), but I ran out of time and didn't have much choice.

I threw in some Rune hooks - Yau joins Evaneskos, and they can become a problem later; the party is working for their eventual enemy; the city provides lots of future scenarios to the creative GM; etc. But otherwise, the scenario was done.

I would have liked to have fleshed out some of the Rune hooks, to make them less outline-y; and I would have loved to have made the sphinx more integral to the plot (maybe another 300 words for her were burbling in my brain). But there it was - a collection of clichés with some comedic Action and a short fight, and lots of open-ended goodness.


----------



## el-remmen

I know I have listed "phase spider" as an ingredient before. . .  I love those things. . .


----------



## Quickbeam

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I appreciate the sentiment, but I have never actually made it past the second round...
> 
> 
> Wulf *




That may be true, but I like your work nonetheless.  Same goes for Wicht (who has amazingly never won), nemmerle, Pielorinho and several others.

Once again, good luck everyone!  I'll be following along as a not-so-silent spectator for the remainder of this tourney.  Already there have been some incredibly creative stories and truly unique ingredient combos .


----------



## Pielorinho

seasong said:
			
		

> *The idea of a leash has been pointed out to me - the people pointing this out have obviously not tried to leash a ferret, it doesn't stick; and that's why I mentioned how sickly and slow the animal looked, anyway.
> *




Good point, and with that in mind, trying to leash the ferret doesn't ruin the chase sequence and instead adds to its fun, and characters fall over one another trying and failing to slip the rope securely around the critters' neck.  Thanks for the exposition!

Daniel


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Ancient elf
Albino elves
Prayer beads
Specimen collection
Withered garden
Phase spider


*The spire of the white tower emerges from the dusty wasteland, reaching impossibly high into the sky, gnarled and gleaming like a skeletal finger pointed accusingly at the gods. The tower has no widows, nor doors, nor any seeming purpose to be gleaned from the outside, and no living soul has ever been seen in or around the tower. Folks say that the tower is cursed, or haunted—or both. Folks who have traveled too close to the tower simply disappear. And on certain nights, the eerie wailing that sounds around the tower lends further credence to the tales, though they grow in the telling with each passing year.*

*Overview:* The party discovers the eerie tower of the grand theurgist Morien, the so-called “living lich,” and work to set things right before they, too, become victims of his life-draining machine. The adventure is best suited to groups of around 6th level, with spellcasting ability not exceeding 3rd level spells. Spells such as _Blink_ and _Gaseous Form_, or more powerful variants, will allow easier exit from the tower for a small number of players for a short time, so the DM will have to act carefully to “hook” the entire party into the adventure.

*Hooks:* The DM can hook the players through one of several traditional methods:

Curiosity—As the party emerges from a wood or valley, the bone-white tower looms ahead of them. This is the most simple and direct method to hook players whose characters are constantly on the prowl and eager for adventure.

Greed—The DM can use another traditional method here: present the players with rumors of the mysterious tower, and of treasures undoubtedly contained within. The DM may have a local sage offer payment for any information they can return from the tower. 

Duty—The preferred hook requires _heroes_. Once again, the DM should spring the tower on the players in the course of a wilderness journey. This hook, however, is a bit different, as it does not truly “set” until the first encounter:

*Encounter One: A Step Out of Phase*
As the party approaches within just a few miles of the tower, they will first notice a difference in the demeanor of their animals. Horses will be skittish; dogs and other predatory companions appear both nervous and curious. The tower is filled with tiny holes and so constructed as to whistle when the wind blows around it, and it is this noise—at first undetectable to the PCs—that affects the animals. As the PCs themselves approach nearer, they too will begin to hear an eerie whistling. Start with DC20 and drop the DC by 5 periodically, allowing provisions for druids, barbarians, rangers, and other “attuned” characters to notice the sound first. You may even wish to inform them secretly from the other players, so as to build suspicion and curiosity.

Once the characters have approached within sight of the tower, they should all be able to hear the whistling. Moments later, they will be attacked by a *phase spider* trained to bring victims to the tower.

The phase spider can appear, use its poisonous bite, and disappear to the ethereal in a single round. Phase spiders are highly intelligent and this particular spider is even more unusual—its poison does 1d8 initial and secondary STR (not CON) damage: extremely debilitating, but not deadly. (If the players are familiar with phase spiders, they may Spot some unusual markings.) It will attempt to incapacitate an elf, a wizard, or similar “pasty looking” character first.

The essence of this hook is to demonstrate the danger that the spider presents. It should be obvious that the phase spider hunts around the tower; if the players are eager enough fellows, you can allow them to drive off the spider, at which point they will indubitably track it back to the tower.

If they require more persuasion, the spider will continue to harass them, hopefully even capturing one of the party members and carrying him off to the tower. (If you are in a generous mood, you can have the phase spider start with a character who is not in attendance, or with an animal companion or special mount first—as long as you don’t run the risk of the players simply leaving the victim to its fate.)

The spider fights quite intelligently. It will notice if the characters are readying to attack it when it appears, and so it will move about and attack from the rear, or simply wait until the players are forced to drop their guard. It is an extremely patient hunter.

A victim that has been incapacitated (STR  0) by the phase spider can then be picked up and dragged into the Ethereal. The phase spider will then begin phasing in and out, zig-zagging its way back to the tower with its prize. 

(To scale this encounter to more powerful groups, use more phase spiders.)

*Encounter Two: Into the Tower *
As the characters approach the tower, the party will note that the vegetation starts to thin out rapidly. The area around the tower is a dusty wasteland. Druids and rangers in particular will notice the dry, desiccated, and definitively infertile look of the soil Not so much as a weed grows around the tower, now. Even the air seems stale and wispy.

The tower itself is over 200 feet high, about 50 feet across at the bottom, though tapering rapidly to a needle-like point. It appears to be made of polished bone. There are no doors or windows. Characters who can fly (or who have exceptionally good eyesight—Spot DC 25 from the ground) may notice tiny holes in the tower along the top third of its length. It is these holes that cause the whistling.

Any character touching the tower must make a Will save (DC20). Characters who fail will notice a feeling of lightness as they are momentarily turned ethereal and drawn into the tower. 

*Encounter Three: The Specimen Collection*
The ethereal wisps of each character are drawn involuntarily into the tower, through a complicated system of magical flues, to be deposited into a large glass bell— the characters are part of some sort of *specimen collection*!

The wide, flat floor holds dozens and dozens of specimen containers of varying sizes, from 10 foot diameter, 5 foot diameter, and even smaller. The largest glass bells are around the outside perimeter of the circular, dome-shaped room, though smaller containers are packed into every conceivable space. There is a crossed hallway across the center of the room—five feet wide, allowing access to containers along the edges of the path, but this is the only easy access. One might conceivably wiggle between the glass bells so as to access each and every bell. Some of the bells are already broken. A metal staircase runs up and passes through the top of the dome into a room above.

The players will notice that several of the containers contain desiccated corpses—most of them unidentifiable. A few of these corpses may still contain some items of interest to the party.

The characters are separated into individual bells. Each will notice two hoses running out of the top of each bell. Characters with appropriate Knowledge skills may note (DC15) an intake valve, and an outflow valve. The bells are made of magically treated _glassteel_, two inches thick: Hardness 10, 60 hp. Players may try to break through piecemeal or in one blow (Strength DC 28). Any loud escape attempt will alert the custodians from the garden above, and they will come to investigate. Even if the players cannot escape, the custodians will eventually arrive to see what their phase spider has brought in lately. (Of course, if the DM is feeling uppity, it may be days...)

The players may Spot (DC20) the phase spider lurking in the shadows near the top of the room, watching. If confronted, it will flee to the custodians.

*Encounter Four: The Custodians*
The master of the tower left in place a small group of custodians, elven academics and colleagues, to see to the upkeep of his experiment. Those custodians are long since dead, victims of the malfunctioning experiment—but their descendants, a cowardly, motley crew of some dozen inbred *elven albinos*, still work the place. These elves are a pale reflection of their forebears, mostly insane, with a moronic (yet crafty) intelligence.

There are about an equal number of males and females among the custodians. They are dressed in a motley of mis-matched clothes and equipment, quite possibly looted from victims of the tower. (Players may note heraldry or other insignia from far flung cultures—elven, dwarven, etc.) Their leader is particularly old and frail looking, almost translucent, with wild white hair and red, crazed eyes. He fiddles constantly with an ostentatious necklace of *prayer beads* around his neck—perhaps the insignia of his office. Their leader will worry at his prayer beads and occasionally stop mid-sentence, as if listening, or seeking other-worldly help for certain answers. (The necklace radiates strong magic appropriate to a _necklace of prayer beads_.)

The players may meet the custodians (if they come to investigate), or by climbing the circular metal staircase in the center of the room. The guardians are willing to talk to the players, if they are polite, but they will not (at first) entertain any notion of setting the characters free. Through conversation, the party may learn:

a) the tower is a life-giving device for their master
b) their master is an *ancient elf* by the name of Morien
c) their master resides in a room at the top of the tower
d) the custodian elves have worked the tower for the entirety of their natural lives
e) one generation after the next
f) about 10 years (how odd!)
g) though the tower is centuries old, many generations
h) and Morien is older still than that—“the living lich,” now revered as their god.
i) And most importantly, there is no way out of the tower.

There is other information available. The custodians lead a meagre life, eating from a garden in the room above. They pray to Morien from time to time to send them new “life vessels”—they have found from bitter experience that when they do not capture new specimens, they are punished by Morien: their garden dies, and they themselves age and die even more rapidly. 

The phase spider is their pet (the result of careful, crafty inbreeding), bringing in new “life vessels” for their master. They avoid this topic as much as possible, never referring to deceased victims as anything other than “spent vessels;” and yet, they seem almost eager to chat with the players, their current crop.

The players may realize what the custodians do not—the life-draining tower has gone awry, and when necessary, it is draining the life-force from the plants in the garden, or from the custodians themselves. The apparatus works by shifting the victim, a fraction at a time, onto the Ethereal plane, so that the body endures for a slightly longer time and the lifeforce can be slowly separated and used. At least, that was the theory. The specimen containers that have been broken over time, however, now allow this process to take place throughout the entire tower. 

It would be extremely difficult  (Bluff or Diplomacy DC30) for the characters to persuade the custodians to set them free; magic may be of some assistance, if used against the leader. If the players can figure out that the tower is malfunctioning and persuade the custodians of this fact, the DC drops to 25—but the custodians remain in mortal fear of Morien.

The players may persuade them in other ways. An offer to stay on an create food, or nurse their garden back to health, will drop the DC by 5 points—and this is cumulative with any other persuasion they may use. If the players talk their way out, the custodians will expect them to do away with Morien and find some way to free them.

Of course, the players are most likely to break their way out of the glass bells on their own. In this case, the custodians will fight, though none of them are proficient with any of the looted weapons they carry. It is likely to be a slaughter. The phase spider will pitch in and fight until it is badly wounded, at which point even it will abandon the unlucky custodians.

*Encounter Five: Ascending to the Gods*

From the specimen room, the metal staircase leads up into a smaller room filled with a *withered garden* that is lit by some form of magical sunlight. The sheer variety of plants should impress any knowledgeable character, but the dry and desiccated look should be of concern even to the untrained eye. It is a scrabble-patch garden at best; what few fruits and vegetables grow here are flavorless and nearly nutritionally empty.

One corner of the garden is set aside for a collection of tents where the custodians sleep, but the most prominent feature of the garden is the large marble staircase that winds up into the domed ceiling to yet another room above. If any of the custodians are present, they revere this area and are hesitant to approach. They will do so only in the most deferential manner, and under no circumstances will they set foot on the stairs.

Fortunately, player characters are not superstitious, inbred morons, and they will likely want to climb the stair to confront the master of the tower, Morien. The custodians (if not yet slaughtered) will fall into a hushed silence. The DM should make good use of silence, speaking quietly and sparingly, to build suspense as the characters climb the stair.

The room above is small and cramped, at most 15 feet across at this point, with a domed ceiling. Countless tubes return here from around the tower, snaking and winding, some in careful bundles, others in a tangled mess, though all eventually returning to the same place: to the back of the room, where they disappear behind a round curtain atop a short dais. The air is stale. Thick dust coats the floor. (Remember to whisper each description to help build the mood!)

Some brave player must pull aside the curtain, and the climax of this adventure here depends on the style of the campaign. 

As the curtain is pulled aside, the players will see the withered body of the *ancient elf* Morien seated upon a throne. Many of the tubes run into a strange helmet atop his head; some of them burrow directly into his flesh—his arms, his back, his heart. The elf is motionless, dead to mundane observation; magic reveals only the faintest aura of life.

At the approach of the first character, Morien’s eyes will suddenly spring open. A hideous, piercing shriek escapes his lips: “FREEEEEEDOM!” Morien will stagger to his feet, lunge forward and wrap his bony hands around the neck of the nearest character. 

Some DM’s may wish to present Morien as an enhanced Wight and allow the players to fight it out with him. You may even give him immunity to some magic, as if he were an incorporeal entity, as so much of his life force is trapped on the Ethereal. Other DM’s may prefer the low-key, almost anti-climactic horror approach—Morien can be slain with a single, desperate blow. Regardless, when he is slain, his body will crumble instantly to dust, and along with him, all of the tubes running throughout the tower. The players can be certain that the tower is no longer functioning nor malfunctioning.

*Conclusion*
The players still have before them the difficulty of escaping the tower. Fortunately (though it may take the players some time to realize it), one of the _prayer beads_ possessed by the leader of the custodians is a _wind walk_ bead. Tailor your Rat Bastardliness to taste: Does the leader give over the necklace as a reward? In a grand ceremony passing on leadership? Do the players have to kill him to take it? And just how many people can wind walk at one time—Five? Six? All of the players, sure, but will they leave the custodians trapped? Regardless of the outcome, as the players safely _wind walk_ out of the flute-like tower, thier very essence should cause the eerie wailing of the tower to sound through the desolate wilderness one last time, before it finally crumbles and disappears in a plume dust.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dammit! No editing... ignore my stupid misspelling.

Oh, and good luck, lightful!


----------



## GhostInTheMachine

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> (To scale this encounter to more powerful groups, use more phase spiders.)




This seems like a cheap trick to me.  More phase spiders are the answer to everything!  Fun read.  Great RB factor.  This is getting sprung...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

GhostInTheMachine said:
			
		

> *This seems like a cheap trick to me.  More phase spiders are the answer to everything!  Fun read.  Great RB factor.  This is getting sprung... *




My Rat Bastardliness is exceeded only by my laziness. Come on, it's a great, on the fly solution. Hell, you can even spring it mid-encounter if the players are havin' it too easy.

"Oh, yeah, these other half dozen spiders were hangin' out in the Ethereal..."


Wulf


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## Wulf Ratbane

Bump for the lazy judge! At least _acknowledge_ that you have seen the entries!

Ok, wait, don't do that. I would rather think you were sleeping in, than hitting my entry with the big red pen...


Wulf


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## Rune

Sorry, folk.  Unexpected family business called me away yesterday.  I've seen the entries.  Judgements to follow.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Hope everything is ok, Rune!

Oh, the way-ayyyy-ting is the hardest parrrrrt...


----------



## Rune

*Round 1, Match 3 Judgement*

*cool hand luke vs. Greybar*

Okay, the format of my last two judgements seems a bit dry to me, so I'm going to try this another way.

But first, I need to address something.  Cool hand luke!  You write _in your entry_ that it is really bad.  Don't do that!  If it's really bad, trust me, I'll be able to figure that out.  Second, your formatting hurts my eyes!  Combined with the bad spelling, the massive blocks made me want to not read it.  Especially after you told me how bad it was.  Dude!  You're stacking the deck against yourself!

Now, to the entries.  In truth, both of these entries had some weaknesses that were hard to ignore.  However, there are some definite gems, here, too, so I'll get right into it.

Both of the entries disappoint me with the hooks.  In cool hand luke's case, they are almost non-existent, from what I can tell (and anything I get wrong, is because of his cumbersome formatting!).  Greybar's are simple and heavy-handed or coincidence-driven.

However, once into the adventure, both entries pick up.  I'll admit, both are painfully linear, but with some intriguing elements, as well.  Take, Greybar, for instance.  His scenario has a comical undertone (a darkly comical undertone) and a subtle wit that I find quite refreshing, not to mention some quite fascinating characterization.

Cool hand luke's entry sets up a truly inspiring situation.  His political intrigue is well thought-out and implemented.  His grasp of rat bastardy is also shown to be pretty good; several of the situations he presents have some quite bastardly elements.  I particularly like the plant of the ioun stones on the PCs and the subsequent use of extortion to yank them around.  Regrettably, a couple of holes in verisimilitude surface, where I don't really see any in Greybar's.  For one thing, I couldn't figure out why the carnies needed to get the ioun stone inside in the first place.  For another, I see no reason why the ring of animal friendship should work on the giant spider--it's a vermin!  There's also one more thing I want to comment on.  Cool hand luke mentions in passing that the LG deity that the theocracy is apparently worshipping should be different than any worshipped by the PCs.  Dude!  This adventure would be _that much cooler_ if any of the PCs worshipped the same god!

Another thing that both entries do well is to provide good hooks to be picked up after the adventure.  In Greybar's case, they're strong and sound.  He even includes some helpful advice.  In cool hand luke's case, they come about as a natural consequence of the political intrigue, hence, also very nice.

I must say, though, that the atmosphere of one of the entries struck is as far more lackluster than the other.  I was incredibly impressed by the paranoid intrigue that seems to dominate cool hand luke's scenario.  Although I wish the adventure was less linear, I think cool hand luke provides enough inspiration for a good DM to improve upon it.

Of course, there are also the ingredients to consider.  cool hand luke's bungling adept is pretty innovative and not quite what I was expecting to see.  That's a good start.  In fact, I must say, I very much enjoyed the concept of a divine spellcaster, stripped of abilities, faking it (even to himself).  Spiffy!

Of course, Greybar's bungling adept is really great, as well.  He has quite a lot of character for someone we never meet!

I very much enjoyed Greybar's use of the unsavory stew and his Ooze (which ties into it) is a beautiful use of the ingredient.  And he even throws in a second ooze!  Beautiful.

Cool hand luke makes excellent use of the ioun stone ingredient, except for the hole in verisimilitude mentioned earlier.

The problem with most of cool hand luke's ingredients, however, is that they seem to be strung together, with little thought given to their significance in the scenario.  Greybar's doesn't suffer from this problem, although his use of the ioun stone is the most horribly tacked-on ingredient I've seen used in a long time.

Now, I love the spider-web carpets of cool hand luke's entry, but I can't tell exactly how the carpet shop is a shop at all.  Is it a front?  Or, is it, as it seems to be, more of a storehouse for smugglers?

I also feel cool hand luke's unsavory stew was more random than it needed to be, but it provides a decent set-up for a con.

Okay, so who wins?

It's pretty clear that Greybar has the more polished, tighter scenario.  It really is a decent scenario, if weaker than others have been.

But, even though my eyes bled while I read it, I think cool hand luke's scenario is more innovative, more inspiring, more exciting, and more complicated in a good way.  It surprises even me, so it may well surprise others, as well, but I have to give the match to *cool hand luke* for a _fundamentally_ better scenario.  I just hope he does a better job of formatting and polishing in round two.

Congratulations, cool hand luke!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Just popping in to say I may not be able to pop back in until Monday morning.

Good luck to all!


----------



## Greybar

Congrats, cool hand luke!

Now, a bit of exposition:

As I alluded to in my other comments, I got myself sidetracked.  I think that this is really what killed my entry from the get-go.  I saw *carpet shop* and my brain jumped to the Arabian Nights.  Even a bit of the the Bugs Bunny flying carpet shop.  In fact, if I had run with a strong tribute to that very Bugs Bunny cartoon I might have been better off (if Rune recognized the short).  The humorous approach might have made it easier to pull together strange elements.  But instead I got stuck on the general scenario leading to the hag within the hour following the posting of the ingredients.  I never got free from that hour's worth of fixation.

I was kicking myself for the hooks and the ingredients all day at work, but couldn't back off enough to start over.  Making the bungling adept secretly working for the bad guy as revenge for the heavy-handed master kept trying to get in there, but the *unsavory stew* image was stuck in my head too.

*sigh*

So, like with most such things - the contestant defeated himself.  I don't mean to downplay cool hand luke's entry at all in saying that, just that I beat myself before cool hand luke even got to swing.  Ah well.

It's a good lesson for me to try to take home.  I think that having a few strong images in my mind can sidetrack and weaken the campaign I GM as well.  So let me be a cautionary tale to the others out there. 

Good luck everyone!  Now I get to go back and read Wulf's entry and drop into lurkerdom...

John


----------



## Rune

One more thing I forgot to mention.  I really liked cool hand luke's riddle.  It wasn't exceptionally difficult, but it had a great "feel" to it, and I loved the word-play.


----------



## Rune

*Round 1, Match 4, Judgement*

*Wulf Ratbane vs. lightful*

Once again, the quality of submissions rises.  I found both works to be delightfuly inspiring and deviously creative.  Neither was entirely perfect, but both were pleasing to read.

I'll start with the hooks, since these were all funcional.  Lighful provides varied and sound, although, if truth be told, I found them to be slightly lack-luster.  Wulf, on the other hand simplifies his hooks into three fundamental motivations, making things easy to understand for the DM.  Consequently, we have some very good hooks that would be hard _not_ to use.

Wulf sometimes enters submissions that are less tight than others, but this isn't one of them.  The plot of this scenario is intricate and well-constructed.  Really, flawless.  I kept thinking that there were some very interesting similarities with the Dark Crystal.  A cynic might presume that this is evidence of Wulf writing specifically for the judge, but I'll just mildly say that the quality will stand on its own.

I wish I could say lightful's scenario is as tight as Wulf's, but it raises too many little questions that should not have to be figured out.  For instance?  Why phase spiders and treants?  That seems like a strange combination.  Another thing that troubled me was the fact that this was for higher level characters.  That, in itself, isn't bad, but I would like to see some more game mechanics detailed, especially for higher level scenarios.

But, When the game hits the ether and, especially, the withered garden, _that's_ where lightful's entry really hits its stride!  I love that garden!  Tracking phase spiders across the ethereal is a damned cool image, and the atmosphere of that garden is top-frikkin notch!  And zombie treants will definitely find their way into one or more of my games.

Of course, this doesn't mean Wulf isn't creative.  Far from it!  Good god, I love that tower!  I mean, I really want to marry it and bear its man-babies.  Or at least yoink it.

Both scenarios lay down strong hooks to be followed up on, as well, but I have to give Wulf the edge, here.  He doesn't actually list anything, specifically, but there are so many good questions left unanswered, that it would take amazing self-restraint to not follow up on them.

So, as for the ingredients, I believe that both contestants used the phase spider well.  Actually, lightful's phase spiders seem a bit awkward and tacked on, but the creative use he makes of them with the experimentations offsets the problem.  Wulf's spider has a very intricately designed niche and good tactics, as well.

Both entries have amazingly creative specimen collections, although both opted for a live collection.  Wulf's collection is more specifically delightful to me; it displays rat bastardy and style!  Lightful's collection, though a very different type, is wonderfully atmospheric.  Still, the complex web with which Wulf wove his ingredients together, generally, really shows itself, here.

The albino elves are also creepy in both scenarios.  I like Wulf's inbred, mentally clumsy, but ultimately likeable tools of the bad guy and I also like lightful's eery nearly insectoid culture.

I'm a bit disappointed in Wulf's use of the withered gardens.  It's strong, but not especially inspiring.  Contrast this with lightful's withered garden!  This is, I feel, lightful's strongest ingredient, and it really does get the gears in my head turning.  Beautiful.

I also feel that both entries poorly implimented the prayer beads ingredient.  It is true that in Wulf's entry, they're important, but they still feel out of place.

Likewise, the ancient elf that Asquilla _appears as_ in lightful's entry seems like it could really be anything else.  In Wulf's, on the other hand, we see his _strongest_ use of an ingredient.  We have a chilling, alien, incomprehensible creature that builds on the typical elven fascination with death (and not dying) and explores what happens when an elf becomes obsessed with immortality.  Truly terrifying.

Lightful, you have a good entry with some wonderful things in it.  Truly wonderful.  But, Wulf can be a juggernaught when he's on top of his game, and this time, he was definitely on top of his game.  *Wulf Ratbane* wins round 1, match 4 and advances to round 2!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Round 1, Match 4, Judgement*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *I kept thinking that there were some very interesting similarities with the Dark Crystal.  A cynic might presume that this is evidence of Wulf writing specifically for the judge...*




Before I enter into any exposition, I'd appreciate it if you could list out those similarities. Because as much as I would have liked to toy with the judge thus, in this case it was entirely coincidental.

Props to my worthy opponent... hang in there, lightful! Stick around and watch me bungle round 2, as usual!


Wulf


----------



## cool hand luke

what EXACTLY is rat bastardliness?


----------



## lightful

*Rant/Exposition/Whine*

God’s spit !
I had him ! I really thought I had him !

Rune’s right; Wulf, at the top of his game, is a juggernaut, nay, a force of nature. His “opium fields” adventure is the only Iron DM entry I’ve used nearly verbatim, and it threw the players for a loop, just as it should. 

But this time…this time, a golden opportunity was wasted. When I saw the ingredients I thought: “Wulf and elves…good for me”, when I saw he was “breaking” his NDA on the 3.5 MM and moaning about having lots of work to do I thought: “This is looking good”, when I completed my entry I was reasonably satisfied and hoped that all would be well, and then I saw Wulf’s entry and I thought I really had a legitimate shot.

Elaborating on Rune’s observations I’d like to say that writing higher level adventures usually means, in my mind and experience, less detailed game mechanics. At high levels PC’s can do so many varied things that trying to keep them all in check would drive a DM nuts. You just pose problems and assume (rightly 95% of the time) that they’ll be able to work through (or around) them.

The phase spiders and treants were the servants of Noxilea and Asquilla, respectively, I thought that was obvious and fail to see why, in that light, it would be unusual. Rune makes a point of saying that he feels that the phase spiders were tacked on – I think that there couldn’t be a more logical servant for a drow loyal to Lloth living in the ethereal !

Prayer beads are used for counting prayers, nothing else, which is precisely what Asquilla is (albeit in vain) doing with them. Rune also comments on my use of the ancient elf ingredient. I agree that she could just as well have been a middle aged elf, or even an old one – but I think it’s fairly obvious that she has to be an elf. Personally, I found the image of an ancient elf, mindlessly counting off against the prayer beads almost as compelling as the garden Rune liked so much.

When I saw the two elven ingredients it was obvious that the adventure had to be elf-centrique. Personally, I’m not terribly fond of them, or the drow for that matter, but I love the spider imagery…phase spiders ! If you’ve got Lloth, then the prayer beads point to a definite divine link, while the garden just grew on me (he he) as I was fleshing out the story. The only ingredient that I really couldn’t fit in, and had to shoehorn, was the specimen collection, which I tried to cover up with a lot of variety. My hooks aren’t heavy, but that always risks leaving the adventure un-run, while the follow-ups are no more than a natural progression. I’d agree with Rune that they were neither good nor bad (and sometimes that’s as bad as it gets !)

And now for something completely different !

I was certain I would be getting the Dark Crystal points ! I thought that the scene where the Bielaja are grabbed by the phase spiders strikingly similar to the one where the spider-creations (Garthim ?) of the Skekses (?) grab Pod People ! It wasn’t intentional, but still…

It occurs to me, writing this, that I feel more and more as if I should have won. In fact, what I’d really like to write as a follow-up is a critique of Wulf’s work and Rune’s judgement of the same. Would that be in really bad form ?

Also, Rune, if you care at all, I preffered the way you formatted your first 2 decisions, it’s much more concise and you get a better feel for your reasoning.

Wulf, congratulations (although it might have/should have been me) and the best of luck in Round 2 !


----------



## cool hand luke

First off, I'd like to thank Rune for the time and effort he's putting into this.

I really enjoyed your critique.  Talk about bad formatting thought!  it looked ok in word, then I copied it, and was amazed at how it turned out.  oh well, luckily I lived through that round, and that is at least EASY to change.  

Hooks have always been my weak point as a dm.  but some of you guys have really showed me how it should be done, so there should be improvement in that area.  

The carnies needed the IOUN stones to get inside so they could fence them.  didn't make that clear.  the ring of animal friendship shows my laziness, didn't look up the stupid description.

for the carpet shop, I had in mind that it was really a carpet shop, and the owner wound up owing one of the Paisans a favor (clearly stolen from the opening scene of the godfather, with Bonasera, they undertaker, Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day -- accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.)  and his payment was letting his store be used to move the goods.


----------



## seasong

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> what EXACTLY is rat bastardliness?



Do you know much about the BDSM scene? Because rat bastardliness is essentially the same thing for roleplaying, as opposed to bedroom playing. At its heart, it's about giving the players what they want in terms of impossible challenges, vicious plot twists, political Ben Dovers, and enemies that they want to tear into tiny pieces... and giving them just enough that they really get into it, without going too far and making the game unfun.

For an IronDM tournament, it's more about providing a basic foundation of Bad Situation and then providing a ton of hooks and options for Making It Worse - the idea being that a proper rat bastard _scenario_ is one that provides tools a proper rat bastard GM can use.

Rune's interpretation, of course, may vary significantly from mine .


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## Rune

From the Rat Bastard DM's club boards:


> *Rat bastardry*
> Pronunciation: 'Rat bas-t&rd-ry
> Function: noun
> *1:* A philosophy that asserts that a role-playing game's capacity for providing enjoyment can be greatly increased by weaving a complex web of psychological challenges, moral or ethical dilemmas, frequent plot twists, and unforeseen consequences to create a gaming environment with verisimilitude that rises above the mundane with the ultimate aim of creating an atmosphere of awed paranoia for the players.




I'm not judging entries on rat bastardry, but it never hurts to see it in an entry.


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## cool hand luke

"awed paranoia"

I love it!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Rant/Exposition/Whine*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> *It occurs to me, writing this, that I feel more and more as if I should have won. In fact, what I’d really like to write as a follow-up is a critique of Wulf’s work and Rune’s judgement of the same. Would that be in really bad form ?*




I am not sure if there is precedent. But don't expect me to respond to your rebuttal, however interesting it is to read. Better to just let you have your say and let it go. 

I know where you are coming from, I had a couple of entries I thought should have won. There's just no predicting the whims of the Iron DM judge.

In retrospect: spiders, prayer beads, and two sets of elves-- yep, very obviously a Lloth tie in, there. I wonder why I didn't use that? 


Wulf


----------



## lightful

You're right, of course.

It's best to let it go, with a rattling threat: I'll get you next time !


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Check your email, though.


----------



## seasong

*Re: Rant/Exposition/Whine*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> It occurs to me, writing this, that I feel more and more as if I should have won. In fact, what I’d really like to write as a follow-up is a critique of Wulf’s work and Rune’s judgement of the same. Would that be in really bad form ?



There is only one rule: please the judge with your entry. Most judges have a few absolutes (no plagiarism, no late entries, no editting after post), but what it really boils down to is, _which one does the judge like better_. By that standard, you lost, and there is no "should have won".

You may argue that the Judge didn't 'get' your entry, and that is likely true, but that just means you didn't write the entry for the Judge, but for yourself.

Me? I'm a whore .


----------



## el-remmen

*Re: Re: Rant/Exposition/Whine*



			
				seasong said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Me? I'm a whore . *




/me sticks a three-dollar bill in Seasong's jockey waistband


Woo-hoo! Baby, let's go!!


----------



## Pielorinho

A comment from the peanut gallery:

Wulf, I loved the entry, especially the demented albino elves (God, how I'd enjoy roleplaying them as the DM).  And once I thought of it, I can't get out of my head the idea of Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser getting trapped in this Whistling Tower.  Degenerate humanoids, mad wizards, crumbling structures, no treasure -- vintage Lieber.

Whaddya say -- were these guys inspiration for the adventure?

Daniel


----------



## Rune

*Re: Rant/Exposition/Whine*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> God’s spit !
> I had him ! I really thought I had him !




I've been in the same situation.  I empathize.



> But this time…this time, a golden opportunity was wasted. When I saw the ingredients I thought: “Wulf and elves…good for me”, when I saw he was “breaking” his NDA on the 3.5 MM and moaning about having lots of work to do I thought: “This is looking good”, when I completed my entry I was reasonably satisfied and hoped that all would be well, and then I saw Wulf’s entry and I thought I really had a legitimate shot.




I knew, when I first took on the task of judging, that there would be rulings that I made that people would disagree with.  I knew it, because people often disagreed with rulings that had me win in past tournaments.  It was inevitable.  I stand by my ruling, however.  I think this was one of Wulf's better entries, and that says a lot.



> Elaborating on Rune’s observations I’d like to say that writing higher level adventures usually means, in my mind and experience, less detailed game mechanics. At high levels PC’s can do so many varied things that trying to keep them all in check would drive a DM nuts. You just pose problems and assume (rightly 95% of the time) that they’ll be able to work through (or around) them.




Okay, good point.  What I was talking about was more along the lines of skill DCs and levels and such.



> The phase spiders and treants were the servants of Noxilea and Asquilla, respectively, I thought that was obvious and fail to see why, in that light, it would be unusual. Rune makes a point of saying that he feels that the phase spiders were tacked on – I think that there couldn’t be a more logical servant for a drow loyal to Lloth living in the ethereal !




I'm not saying that they didn't fit, just that they didn't feel natural, within the context of the adventure.  I got the feeling you chose them because they were a cool image (and one was an ingredient.  Granted, they really _were_ a cool image, but, even so...

One more thing, you hurt yourself a tiny bit by assuming that I was familiar with the deities.  I know that the information is available elsewhere, but I've said this before: the burden of clarity rests on the author.  As it happens, I'm not overly familiar with Lloth (I was enough to get by on in this adventure), but I have absolutely no idea who that other god is.  Some sort of nature god, I presume (thus, the treants).

Which leads me to the prayer beads...



> Prayer beads are used for counting prayers, nothing else, which is precisely what Asquilla is (albeit in vain) doing with them. Rune also comments on my use of the ancient elf ingredient. I agree that she could just as well have been a middle aged elf, or even an old one – but I think it’s fairly obvious that she has to be an elf. Personally, I found the image of an ancient elf, mindlessly counting off against the prayer beads almost as compelling as the garden Rune liked so much.




My problem with it was that either the treants or the beads didn't fit.  And because they were together, neither fit.  You see, nature deities tend to be light on dogma (if it's present at all), and dogma is what prayer beads are all about!  I will concede that it is a very cool image, though.  I meant to mention that in the judgement, but I forgot to.



> When I saw the two elven ingredients it was obvious that the adventure had to be elf-centrique.




Actually, that was a trap.  I was expecting to see those ingredients used in just such a way,  (the way you used them, more or less), so the best strategy would have been to find something different to do with them.



> Personally, I’m not terribly fond of them, or the drow for that matter, but I love the spider imagery…phase spiders !




Believe it or not, I'm with you 100%, here.



> I was certain I would be getting the Dark Crystal points ! I thought that the scene where the Bielaja are grabbed by the phase spiders strikingly similar to the one where the spider-creations (Garthim ?) of the Skekses (?) grab Pod People ! It wasn’t intentional, but still…




I'll admit, I completely missed that one.  And I think I know why, but I'll tackle it in my next post, dealing specifically with the Dark Crystal Factor (tm).



> It occurs to me, writing this, that I feel more and more as if I should have won. In fact, what I’d really like to write as a follow-up is a critique of Wulf’s work and Rune’s judgement of the same. Would that be in really bad form ?




That's kind of what exposition is for.



> Also, Rune, if you care at all, I preffered the way you formatted your first 2 decisions, it’s much more concise and you get a better feel for your reasoning.




Thanks for the input.  I don't think I'll be changing it back though, because that seems to be the minority opinion and, quite frankly, reading the first two judgements almost puts me to sleep.  As I am the author, that's a bad sign.

Besides, this way they're more _nemmerlesque_.



> Wulf, congratulations (although it might have/should have been me) and the best of luck in Round 2 !




Did you read any of my older entries?  If you had, you would possibly have a good idea of where I place my priorities when judging.  I suspect that your priorities differ widely from my own.

Nevertheless, I think you're a great writer and hope to see you in a future Iron DM tournament--whether I'm judging or not.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *A comment from the peanut gallery:
> 
> Wulf, I loved the entry, especially the demented albino elves (God, how I'd enjoy roleplaying them as the DM).  And once I thought of it, I can't get out of my head the idea of Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser getting trapped in this Whistling Tower.  Degenerate humanoids, mad wizards, crumbling structures, no treasure -- vintage Lieber.*




That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long while. 

I have commented here frequently (and in my story hour) that there has been no greater influence on me personally, as a writer, than Lieber. But other than that, it wasn't intentional. When I finished writing it I was reminded more of the R.E. Howard story, with the elephant-headed thing at the top of the tower. That _was_ Conan, I believe... 

Anyhow, I am beaming... You've just taken all the sting out of my impending round 2 loss.


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: Rant/Exposition/Whine*



			
				seasong said:
			
		

> *You may argue that the Judge didn't 'get' your entry, and that is likely true, but that just means you didn't write the entry for the Judge, but for yourself.
> 
> Me? I'm a whore . *




I will never go this route! I keep to the high road, pure, pristine, idealistic. No whoring for me. I have thought a couple of times with nemm judging, that the kinds of winning changes he proposes after the fact would only water down the adventure. As if, "Not giving the players a clear enough solution," is somehow a _bad_ thing.

Or maybe I just really don't have time to read all the entries and know the judge like I should. I barely have time to finish my entry as it is... Now you want me to go back and _study_? Ok, this may not be champion-calibre talk here...


----------



## Vurt

Yesterday morning, I was humming and hawwwing, trying to come up with some interesting side-jaunt for my player's Sunday afternoon game.  So I wandered on over to these boards and decided to check out (read: mine) the Iron DM thread for ideas.

When I read Wulf's entry, I immediately thought to myself: I am so running my players through this today!  Copy.  Paste.  Print.

Where the adventure didn't run itself (which it practically did for most of the session) it was easily changed with a minimum of fuss, and everyone had a blast with it!  

So kudos to Wulf for the fun, and kudos to everyone involved with the Iron DM tournaments for cranking up the pressure to produce such fine jewels as this!  Everyone walks away a winner, even the lurkers.  

Cheers,
Vurt


----------



## Rune

A note about style:

Style counts for a lot in judgement, but only _after_ all other elements have been weighed.


----------



## Rune

*Now, about the Dark Crystal Factor(tm)*

There were a few things in Wulf's entry that reminded me, specifically, of the Dark Crystal.  Things like the bad guy crumbling to dust in death, his general similarities to the Skeksis, the similarities of the albino elves to the Gharthim (I may be misspelling all of these, by the way), as well as the spider's similarity to same.

Then there was the whole life-essence stealing by machine thing.

And finally, the tower.  It doesn't map directly with anything, but it _feels_ like it belongs in the world of the Dark Crystal.  To put it another way, if I were to run a campaign set in that world, this tower would fit right in.

And that's really the difference between these elements and lightful's dileberate nod to the Dark Crystal.  The _feel_ is what sells it.

Of course, Wulf apparently wasn't even thinking of the Dark Crystal, so I guess this says something else:  The reasons I love his entry are the same reasons I love the Dark Crystal.

One more general note, anyone who doesn't realize by now that I tend to favor high-fantasy (and low-power, but that's a different discussion), hasn't done their homework.   That's okay, but _all other things being equal_ in two entries, it's good to know where my predispositions lie.


----------



## Rune

In Round 2, the matches will be:

*Wulf Ratbane vs. Nemmerle*

and

*cool hand luke vs. Seasong*

The two who lose Round 2 will face off in the first half of Round 3 to determine a 3rd place winner.

Please post your availability.


----------



## seasong

If the game _starts_ anytime between Tuesday evening and Thursday morning, I should be good. Otherwise, I'll have to wait for the weekend. Today and tomorrow are rotten, and if any significant portion of the game overlaps Friday it's rotten.

And cool hand luke, if you stomp me, I promise not to take it out on you in the Game of Death... much .


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I think the most useful exposition is  to just go through my thought process on how I arranged the ingredients. I really do think of Iron DM as a great  resource for DM's to learn how to craft adventures. Not that I am saying I am any friggin master at it, but at least that's the goal. In my case I enter not to instruct, but for the practice. I have seen what good DMs are capable of. I'd like to be a good DM.

So here's how I put it all together, more or less:

I started with the albino elves. Albinism as an inherited trait always reminds me of inbreeding, but the fact that we're talking elves, with such normally long lifespans, means that any amount of inbreeding would ordinarily take thousands and thousands of years to take hold. So I started with wondering how I could speed up or cut short the lifespan of these elves. 

The albinos led me to the ancient elf; I decided he'd have something to do with it, so I placed this long lived elf as the major villain in contrast to the albinos with their hamster-like breeding cycle.

The withered garden came next. Whatever the ancient elf was doing to drain the life from the albinos would be happening to the garden as well. These two ingredients together would serve as clues to the players that something was up. I disagree with Rune's assertion that the withered garden isn't handled well; it is certainly not described as evocatively as lightful's, but it is a vital clue to the players.

I tumbled around the phase spider and the specimen collection for a while. Somehow, they seemed to fit together; we can all picture that spider under glass. In my mind I had the spider as part of the specimen collection, but I changed it later. Certainly, the spider's careful inbreeding has a specimen-collection like quality to it, and it certainly helps to weave him into the ingredients. He doesn't seem as out of place, for example, as a hill giant or some other creature sent out to grab victims for the tower. The phase spider just fits better. In the end I wanted the spider far more as the hook into the adventure, and decided he'd be the one to get the _players_ into those specimen containers.

The very nature of the phase spider hooked me onto the idea of using the Ethereal, somehow, as the mechanism by which the tower drained life. I admit, I don't own the Manual of the Planes, and I think that slowed-aging aspect is actually a feature of the Astral, not the Ethereal, but it was just another thread in the weaving. It worked.

I was left only with the prayer beads-- I knew this was my weakest ingredient. Couldn't seem to fit them anywhere. In the end I was fairly happy with them; they admittedly aren't an integral part of the adventure, though I tried to make them so (as the only means of escape for a low level party). But I couldn't help grinning a little when I put them in the hands of the albinos, who could at any time have used them to escape-- except of course, they're too stupid. And the wind walk prayer bead persuaded me to put holes in the tower-- I very much liked the idea of the players whistling through the tower as they escaped. So while the prayer beads aren't an _essential_ ingredient, I think they add a nice spice. 

An aftertaste, if you will...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

For me, ingredients between 9:00 and 10:00 PM tonite (EST) give me the most flexibility to reply within 24 hours. If they post during that time, don't wait for my check-in, just look for my guaranteed entry.

I know that is a short window, but my weeknights are pretty busy.

Other than that, I have to wait for the weekend, as I am travelling on business till Friday. If the time deviates, I would appreciate you waiting on my check-in.

Thanks!

Wulf


----------



## Rune

Nemmerle, are you free TONIGHT?

If so, CHECK IN and I'll post the ingredients at 9:00 PM Eastern.


----------



## el-remmen

I may or may not be busy tonight - I won't know untiil much later this afternoon (around 5 pm est) - however, even if I am free I would prefer to get the ingredients around 5 or 6 b/c as I go to bed around midnight that would leave me around 3 hours of time - which is not nearly enough if I am going to do things like eat dinner - or I will have to wait until Wednesday night or Thursday night.  

Friday is absolutely no good for me - and the weekend will likely be bad too . . .


----------



## lightful

*Enough already !*

OK, I get and I did ask for it.  

All of these kudos to Wulf have got me convinced, his was obviously the better entry. I guess I was being too self-absorbed.

Rune, no wild differences. I imagine we both enjoy a solid, thought adventure. The Seldarine is a name for the eleven pantheon _en masse_ , I assumed that, like Lloth, it would standard knowledge...my bad.

There was no deliberate nod to the Dark Crystal, just something that occured to me after having written the adventure, and noticing your sig.

Wulf, now that you've gotten past me, you've got the burden of winning the whole shebang. I ain't losin' to no sloucher !


----------



## Rune

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *I may or may not be busy tonight - I won't know untiil much later this afternoon (around 5 pm est) - however, even if I am free I would prefer to get the ingredients around 5 or 6 b/c as I go to bed around midnight that would leave me around 3 hours of time - which is not nearly enough if I am going to do things like eat dinner - or I will have to wait until Wednesday night or Thursday night.
> 
> Friday is absolutely no good for me - and the weekend will likely be bad too . . . *




How's this, then...If you're available tonight, and Wulf agries to it, I could post the ingredients at 6PM and give both of you a 3-hour extension.  However, if Wulf can't check on them until 9, that gives you a 3-hour advantage, which is massive, so I'll totally understand if he doesn't want to do it in such an important match.

If at all possible, I'd like to get this started tonight, rather than wait a week, but not at the cost of equity.


----------



## Rune

In related news, Seasong says he can go tomorrow night, so, cool hand luke, if you're available, CHECK IN!


----------



## cool hand luke

I can go tomorrow, it would be really really helpful if you could post the ingredients around 4:00 cst, 5:00 est, so I could see them at work, before I head home, My home isp is very iffy at best, and I'd hate to have it go on the blink, and not see the ingredients till the next morning.


----------



## Rune

Seasong, is tomorrow 5PM Eastern good for you?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *I could post the ingredients at 6PM and give both of you a 3-hour extension.  However, if Wulf can't check on them until 9, that gives you a 3-hour advantage, which is massive, so I'll totally understand if he doesn't want to do it in such an important match. *




Go for it. I'm not one to pass up a built in losing excuse. "He had 27 hours-- I only had 24!"

Seriously, works for me. My issue is that my only free time is generally in the 8-10 PM range, so I was hoping the ingredients would be posted at a time when I would be able to hit "free time" two nights in a row.

But again... Post at 6:00 tonite, entries due by 9:00 pm tomorrow works for me. Consider this a CHECK IN!

Wulf


----------



## seasong

Rune said:
			
		

> Seasong, is tomorrow 5PM Eastern good for you?



It's good for me!


----------



## Rune

*cool hand luke vs. Seasong:b*

Good.  I'll consider you both checked in at 5:00PM Eastern Time, TOMORROW NIGHT, so be sure to check the thread for your ingredients!

Wulf and Nemm, your match will be postponed until you're both ready.


----------



## el-remmen

I will know by 5 pm est  (probably btwn 4:30 and 5) - is that not enuf notice?


----------



## Rune

He's not good until nine, and frankly, we don't need to do Round 2 quite as rappidly as we did Round 1.

It's okay.  More time for trash-talking.


----------



## cool hand luke

smack talk?  now that I can do!

seasongs going down.

I sandbagged the first round, just to lull him into a false sense of security.


----------



## seasong

*Re: cool hand luke vs. Seasong:b*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> Good.  I'll consider you both checked in at 5:00PM Eastern Time, TONIGHT, so be sure to check the thread for your ingredients!



Er, I will not be good at 5pm eastern TONIGHT. I thought we were talking about 5pm easter TOMORROW NIGHT.


----------



## Rune

Sorry, I meant tomorrow night, I'd better fix that, fast.

cool hand luke!  That's 5PM EST TOMORROW!


----------



## seasong

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> smack talk?  now that I can do!



Or at least you think you can.



> seasongs going down.
> 
> I sandbagged the first round, just to lull him into a false sense of security.



You did a good job, nuff said.


----------



## cool hand luke

that's fine by me.


----------



## el-remmen

If I _can_ do it tonight - I would really like to. . .   I guess we'll wait and see. . .


----------



## Rune

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *If I can do it tonight - I would really like to. . .   I guess we'll wait and see. . . *




Okay, but I don't think Wulf's checking the thread out until 9ish and I don't want to post before then, even with a 3-hour extension.  So, it's you're choice.


----------



## el-remmen

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Okay, but I don't think Wulf's checking the thread out until 9ish and I don't want to post before then, even with a 3-hour extension.  So, it's you're choice. *




But he said it was okay. . .


----------



## Rune

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *
> 
> But he said it was okay. . . *




Sorry, Nemm, I totally missed that.

Okay, check in as soon as you find out you're free for the evening and I'll post your ingredients at 6PM Eastern TONIGHT, unless it takes you longer to find out you're free.  Under no circumstances, however, will I post ingredients past around 9PM, so keep that in mind.

cool hand luke and Seasong, this does not change your schedule at all.  I will post the ingredients for your match TOMORROW NIGHT at 5PM Eastern!


----------



## seasong

Rune said:
			
		

> cool hand luke and Seasong, this does not change your schedule at all.  I will post the ingredients for your match TOMORROW NIGHT at 5PM Eastern!



Consider me checked in.


----------



## el-remmen

Cripes. . .

I do have plans tonight - friggin' women. . .   - I guess it will have to wait til next week then.


----------



## phoamslinger

Rune said:
			
		

> *From the Rat Bastard DM's club boards:
> I'm not judging entries on rat bastardry, but it never hurts to see it in an entry. *




  judging entries based on rat bastardry?  what a delightful idea!

http://pub109.ezboard.com/faquerrafrm29.showMessage?topicID=29.topic

hi Rune!  good job so far.  
-phoamy


----------



## incognito

*Rumors of my demise...*

are not that exagerated, as luck woud have it.

Demise in a 3E sense, you understand.

I just wanted to take a second to call out Seasong, PirateCat, (contact), Rune, <coff>_RBDMs Club_<coff> , and all the other writers...even friends, who have asked after me.  You guys make role-paying worthwhile.  

In truth, you even make _reading about roleplaying_ worthwhile.

I spent much of today savoring Rune's Summer IronDM: a rare luxury for me, these days.  Suffice to say that climbing the corporate ladder means not only less time for the boards, but a suspension of my two campaigns.

I'll lurk - and perhaps congradulate the victor.  And who knows?  Perhaps I'll be lucky enough to return, at some point.




ohhh...and *Wulf* - good luck, don't tell anyone but I'm betting my hard earned gp on you!


----------



## Rune

Incognito!  Welcome back!  I'm sorry that you're at a point in your life that prohibits gaming and I hope you get a chance to get back into it before you go crazy.

Good luck in your corporate ladder-climbing, and enjoy your lurking!

Edit--If you're still lurking, could you drop me an email?  It's in my profile.


----------



## Chroma

*I can't let this slide...*

...cuz I'm really enjoying it!

Hey Rune!


----------



## seasong

*Re: Rumors of my demise...*

Hey incognito! Sorry to hear you're busy, but glad to hear that it's a good kind of busy .

Good luck on coming back - it just doesn't feel right without that dopey dog avatar around!


> ohhh...and *Wulf* - good luck, don't tell anyone but I'm betting my hard earned gp on you!



I cry.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: Rumors of my demise...*



			
				seasong said:
			
		

> *I cry.   *




Me too... I hate to lose another man's money.

For what it's worth-- I won't have as much time, and the entry will invariably suffer, but if I get ingredients before 5:00 PM today, I could have my entry in before 5:00 PM Wednesday (just before I fly off on bizness-- so I won't know how I did till Friday... eww...). 

Wulf


----------



## el-remmen

I will be too busy to play tonight. . .


----------



## Rune

Wulf, your match against Nemm will have to wait until sometime after your trip, so relax and enjoy it (as much as you can enjoy a business trip).


----------



## Quickbeam

While we all wait for the battles to continue, I just wanted to chime in with my own thoughts on the First Round entries.  Maybe it's the wannabe judge in me coming to the surface .

lightful: I generally don't enjoy stories with godlike bents to them, but yours is very creative.  Additionally, I enjoyed the Bielaja people and your description of their culture.  Keep at it -- good things are in your future.

anonystu: I absolutely loved your d20M setting, and the backdrop for your adventure was fantastic!!  Kudos on being brave enough to step outside the box.  If your entry had been submit as less of an overview and more of a story, you might have prevailed.

WinnipegDragon: You provide the reader with incredible detail on the city of Wadith and its four distinct quarters.  Paring the entry down a bit, and providing more PC options/hooks will be the keys next time around for you.

seasong: One of your strongest entries to date IMHO.  I felt that both you and I presented somewhat lackluster adventures in our Spring Finals contest.  However, this story was interesting and fun on a number of levels.  Good job!

Greybar: Two words -- "ooze stew."  You've permanently burned this image into my olfactory senses.  A fine effort given the toughest set of First Round ingredients to my mind.

cool hand luke: Keep it up my good man.  Your cagey carnie freaks and their scheme to sneak an ioun stone into town, were great!

nemmerle: I was truly taken in by your story.  The believable and detailed NPC's; the layered fabric within your adventure; and clever ingredient use -- all excellent!!  Best of all, I loved the Cthulhuesque feel to everything.  Just a bit of subtle horror hidden behind the scenes each step of the way.  You sound like the type of DM I admire, namely one who provides a rich canvas and allows the party to paint its own desires.

Wulf: My favorite entry among those offered up thus far.  Darn near everything felt unique, bizarre, intriguing, spooky and totally fascinating.  This is why I mentioned you as someone I'd love to see in a Tournament of Champions, and as one of Iron DM's most formidable contestants.

Congrats to those who have advanced into Round Two, and big props to Rune for a very impressive job as Chairman so far!!


----------



## Rune

Quickbeam said:
			
		

> *
> Congrats to those who have advanced into Round Two, and big props to Rune for a very impressive job as Chairman so far!! *




Heh heh.  Chairman Rune.  I like that.  Now, all I need is a big pepper to bite into.

Edit--well, since this is Iron _DM_, maybe an edible d20 of some sort.

Can someone photoshop up an image of Chairman Kaga taking a bite out of a big d20?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *Wulf, your match against Nemm will have to wait until sometime after your trip, so relax and enjoy it (as much as you can enjoy a business trip). *




Well... It IS a trip out to the beautiful campus of Dreamworks for another review of Shrek II. Don't worry about me. 


Wulf


----------



## Talix

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> Well... It IS a trip out to the beautiful campus of Dreamworks for another review of Shrek II. Don't worry about me.
> *




Hey, any chance you can give a release date on that?  

To all of the contestants so far, good work!  There's been a lot of great stuff posted here that I haven't had time to comment on, but I've definitely enjoyed reading about it.  

Seasong, you continue to be my local hero, although I gotta say Wulf's entry is definitely going to be yoinked as well.


----------



## Rune

About one hour to go, cool hand luke and Seasong.  I hope you're paying attention!


----------



## Quickbeam

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Heh heh.  Chairman Rune.  I like that.  Now, all I need is a big pepper to bite into.
> 
> Edit--well, since this is Iron DM, maybe an edible d20 of some sort.
> 
> Can someone photoshop up an image of Chairman Kaga taking a bite out of a big d20? *




I've got a buddy who's pretty good at photoshop wizardry...I'll see what can be done with this request.  Out of curiousity, will it buy me brownie points in future competitions ?


----------



## Rune

Quickbeam said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I've got a buddy who's pretty good at photoshop wizardry...I'll see what can be done with this request.  Out of curiousity, will it buy me brownie points in future competitions ? *




No, but you'll get brownie points for _this_ competition


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Quickbeam, if you keep hangin' around the thread, perhaps you will step in for the grand finale?

We need some kind of former champ... it's a tradition...

What are the oddsmakers pitching right now for the final match?


Wulf


----------



## Rune

*Round 2, match 1: cool hand luke vs. Seasong*

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)

*Femme fatale
Crumbling temple
Origami golem
Pearl
Forboding mansion
Ex-monk*

You have exactly 24 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I wish to file a formal Objection. 

Too many related ingredients!


----------



## Rune

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Quickbeam, if you keep hangin' around the thread, perhaps you will step in for the grand finale?
> 
> We need some kind of former champ... it's a tradition...
> 
> What are the oddsmakers pitching right now for the final match?
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Wulf, Seasong _is_ the reigning champion.  He had an automatic entry into the tournament (which, frankly, works a hell of a lot better than giving the reigning champion a pass for three rounds).


----------



## Rune

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I wish to file a formal Objection.
> 
> Too many related ingredients!  *




Really?  They seem pretty tricky to me.  Besides which, they were randomly picked before the tournament and assigned a relative difficulty at that time.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Wulf, Seasong is the reigning champion.  He had an automatic entry into the tournament (which, frankly, works a hell of a lot better than giving the reigning champion a pass for three rounds). *




Lemme try that again...

We need some kind of former champion with the chutzpah to put IRON DM CHAMP in his sig line to step in unchallenged after three rounds for a completely unfair matchup finale.

How's that?


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *Really?  They seem pretty tricky to me.  Besides which, they were randomly picked before the tournament. *




Even at first glance I think 4 out of 6 have less than six-degrees of seperation by free association. 

It wasn't _really_ a formal protest. Besides, maybe it's a trick again!


----------



## cool hand luke

hmm, interesting ingredients, a very oriental flavor.......  well, here goes!


----------



## WinnipegDragon

If you need another champion in the tournament, you could let me back in.  You see, I am a future champion.


----------



## Ozmar

Drat! I was hoping someone would have dropped out by now...

Great adventures everyone! Keep it up! My file of instant adventure ideas is growing...

Ozmar the Lurking Alternate Iron DM Contestant


----------



## Rune

Stay tuned through round 2, Ozmar.  It's less likely, but it could still happen.


----------



## Pbartender

Rune said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Heh heh.  Chairman Rune.  I like that.  Now, all I need is a big pepper to bite into.
> 
> Edit--well, since this is Iron DM, maybe an edible d20 of some sort.
> 
> Can someone photoshop up an image of Chairman Kaga taking a bite out of a big d20? *




Ask and ye shall receive...


----------



## Quickbeam

Wulf:
Thanks for the sentiment.  I'd be thrilled to participate in a "just for the heck of it" grand finale.  But, whether or not such a matchup transpires, the winner of this tourney will have _earned_ the title Iron DM regardless.  And yes, I'll stick around this thread.  I love this game.
As for odds on the final match...I'll keep my hunches private.  But you get my vote just for using the word chutzpah !!

Rune:
No argument on seasong being the reigning champ, and deserving a free pass into the field of eight.  He beat me in a close Final battle this spring, and does the title of Iron DM proud.  I think Wulf was simply saying that in some past tournaments, a former champ was invited to face the current champ in a battle royale.

Pbartender:
That picture rocks!!  Way to go!!


----------



## Rune

Quickbeam: I know.  I lost to Vaxalon in just such a round.  Incognito later set a precedent for doing it the way it is being done, and I feel it is the best way to do it.

Pbar:  You rock!


----------



## seasong

*Re: Round 2, match 1: cool hand luke vs. Seasong*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> _Femme fatale_
> Crumbling temple
> Origami golem
> Pearl
> Forboding mansion
> Ex-monk



Nice. The pearl is giving me a funny feeling . And I see at least one trap, you bastard. I'm going to have to include a definition in my submission, just to survive...

Oh, and Wulf... I've got it in my sig. See? See?


----------



## Rune

I think Wulf may have been making a snide comment about a certain former Tripple Iron DM Champ who used to have an enormous Banner proclaiming his accomplishments in the first three Iron DM tournaments at ENworld.

But that's just a guess.   

The tournaments just wouldn't be the same without trash-talking.


----------



## lightful

*sour grapes and all that...*

It may be just as well that I lost, those ingredients would have given me a fit !


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Pbartender--

That pictures ROCKS!

Iron DM has an official banner!

Oh, for the record, I wasn't being snide... I remain a huge fan of over-the-top champeen braggadacio. It's like being the Great Dalmuti... You earned it... maybe unfairly... but it's your responsibility to lord it over the lesser folk.


----------



## Quickbeam

Now that you mention it Rune, I remember the very match against Vaxalon that your last post refers to.  Sorry to open up old wounds my friend.  As it stands, though, any likeness to the huge triple champ banner previously displayed by another Board member is purely coincidental.  I'm just giddy about my run to the title in the Holiday Tournament and second place finish this Spring, and want to share a bit of my joy with others .

BTW, going back to the chutzpah remark -- WinnipegDragon's trash talk about becoming a future champion is the epitome of chutzpah.  It displays just the right mixture of brash determination and moxie!!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Quickbeam said:
			
		

> * It displays just the right mixture of brash determination and moxie!! *




Who's the jaunty jackanapes with moxie and pizazz?


----------



## WinnipegDragon

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Who's the jaunty jackanapes with moxie and pizazz? *




It's the Sneak!

It's the Sneak!

Who danced the Hully-Gully on the Panama Canal?


----------



## Rune

Quickbeam said:
			
		

> *Now that you mention it Rune, I remember the very match against Vaxalon that your last post refers to.  Sorry to open up old wounds my friend.  As it stands, though, any likeness to the huge triple champ banner previously displayed by another Board member is purely coincidental.  I'm just giddy about my run to the title in the Holiday Tournament and second place finish this Spring, and want to share a bit of my joy with others .
> 
> BTW, going back to the chutzpah remark -- WinnipegDragon's trash talk about becoming a future champion is the epitome of chutzpah.  It displays just the right mixture of brash determination and moxie!! *




It's not an old wound!  I was given the option not to compete against him, after all.  I chose to do it, to test myself.

It was only later that I realized how bad an idea that really was. 

But, since we're on the subject of my losses, I'd be happy to share with folk _my_ strategies for playing an Iron DM match after this tournament is over.  If anybody is interested in that sort of thing.

They're similar to and different from other people's.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

> _Originally posted by Quickbeam _*BTW, going back to the chutzpah remark -- WinnipegDragon's trash talk about becoming a future champion is the epitome of chutzpah.  It displays just the right mixture of brash determination and moxie!! *




I'm honoured!  Unless that was an insult, in which case, I'm insulted!


----------



## seasong

I apologise in advance for the length of this. I hope I've made it interesting reading, but the fact that I'm doing a modern setting, and the ambitious nature of the scenario, pretty much guaranteed that I was going to have a 4K word count.

*St Margaret's Tear*

*Femme fatale - the female PC/NPC and the egg
Crumbling temple - used to make the PCs think the egg is a good thing (dragon ley lines, etc.)
Origami golem - a paper tiger, and I apologize for it 
Pearl - a false pearl, at that, with the usual evil that that implies in literature
Forboding mansion - a mansion that forbodes
Ex-monk - his name is Pitr Vascova*

_Note: a forbidding mansion would be one that seemed like a bad idea to approach; a forboding mansion is one that provides foreshadowing of something awful, but could itself be quite pleasant. The essence of a femme fatale is not that she is both female and deadly, but that it is her very *femminity* that *makes* her deadly (typically by seduction, but I varied it a bit herein). And I am using the ex-monk in the literal sense, rather than in the game system sense - he has left his monastery and abandoned his vows._

Usually, the scenarios built for IronDM are plug-ins... short encounters that can be dropped into a pre-existing campaign for extra spice. What I am trying for here is vaguely ambitious, however - it is an introduction to a new campaign, in a not-entirely-generic setting. Worse, while it can be adapted for fantasy with a few tweaks, it is designed with the modern world in mind.

The upshot of this is that this scenario is a pre-fab construction set. A lot of the stuff in here can be tailored to your party's needs, and the actual way the scenario can go is up in the air. I try to provide guidance, but most of the real stuff is in the setup of a situation that can blow up for everyone's amusement.

*Setting Notes:* Earth, 199x. It's the world you knew, except that there are terrible secrets about magic and monsters, concealed by our willing ignorance. The characters are those rare souls who choose, for whatever reason, to pierce that veil and live in the far scarier world of the truth. You can run this from a Cthulu stance (everyone dies or goes mad or fails horribly), an X-Files stance (truth will triumph if you remain strong), or a White Wolf stance (you live in a strange world, and can make small changes, but the fundamental division between mundane and esoteric is never bridged). This scenario works with any of them.

There are a few factions of the supernatural explored in the scenario, and you can add as many others as you want to the campaign. The ones explored herein are the Illithid Vampires, a Dragon Cult within the Church, and an Order of martial artists who meet on the astral plane.

*Characters (D&D):* This scenario assumes no or low-level spell-casting. The characters are not yet familiar with the existence of magic, or have only JUST discovered it. Combat-worthy levels without spell-casting (fighter or rogue, for example) are fine. The purpose of the scenario is to draw them into the world of magic, and provide them with information - if they are already there, they don't need this scenario.

In addition to the normal needs for a party, *at least one character (PC or NPC) needs to be female*. If a PC, the players needs to be prepared for some challenges - if not, you may wish to have an NPC female on hand as well. This character will be the one chosen by the Siren's Pearl as its host (it specifically needs a female if it is to produce children).

Some special optional rules to spice up a party caster:

_Cleric 1 or 2:_ A holy person, likely to become a saint, who can sometimes manage miracles. Use the sorcerer's Known Spells chart (but from the cleric's lists) to determine how many Miracles the holy person knows how to Invoke, plus the Domain spells. Clerics can cast spontaneously here, but it takes a great deal of research, meditation, and prayer to master the Invocation of new miracles. For purposes of this scenario, a Church individual would be best.

_Wizard 1 or 2:_ An apprentice to the Golden Dawn who is connected to the Church faith in some way, and has recently (oh so recently!) come across forbidden texts showing ways to swiftly and easily master magic... it comes at a cost, however, as the magic pries at one's humanity. Wizards lose -1 of (their choice) WIS or CHA for every five levels of spells they learn, rounded up. Thus, knowing 4 level-1 spells and a level-2 spell would cost -2 total. In addition, each time a wizard goes up in level, he may choose to lower one of WIS or CHA by -1, and RAISE his INT by +1. Loss of wisdom results in being ever more cold and logical, losing the ability to _understand_ emotion or others' behavior; loss of charisma results in a slow decline into psychopathy, losing the ability to _interact_ with others in a meaningful fashion. Neither can be reduced below 1, and when they both reach 1, the wizard can learn at no cost (but can no longer improve INT each level).

*FACTIONS*

*The Dragon Cult:* Dragons once roamed the earth, and never will again... but don't tell that to these folks. They have studied the ley lines of the Earth for centuries, ever since a young monk in Feudal Italy stumbled across the study of wizardry, and realized that ley lines were the shattered remnants of dragon spirits.

In the centuries since then, they have always moved to acquire or build monasteries at key junction points, using the architecture to direct and store the magical energies there, and then gotten the buildings abandoned by the Church. There are not many - few enough to count on two hands - but each one has established a powerful link to the past. Their goal is to return dragons to the world by building a vast network of these monasteries and then reconnecting them at an astrologically auspicious time.

And although the monasteries are abandoned, the faithful of the Dragon Cult often live among the crumbling ruins, maintaining the pools of energy there and guarding their investment.

One such monk used to be Pitr Vascova, detailed in the NPC section, and one such monastery was the Tear of St Margaret Monastery, some ways outside of Moscow.

Saint Margaret and her link to dragons

The Tear for which the monastery is named is a fist sized pearl... except that its resemblance to a pearl is only in its luminous coloration. It is more like petrified egg white, and is believed by the Dragon Cult to be exactly that - a dragon's egg.

*St Margaret's Tear:* In fact, it is not petrified - that is its natural state. Nor is it the egg of a dragon, but rather of an _illithid_, an alien species from a distant interstellar empire. They burned out of existence several million years ago, having genocided the multitude of sentient species that kept them fed. Having learned their lesson, but still unable to escape their inevitable racial death, they sent eggs to planets they thought might develop sufficiently complex life for sentience to arise.

The egg requires a powerful mind to keep it nearby for some time in order to develop. For millenia, it has been passed back and forth between the weak minded, however, until it came across the Dragon Cult... although naught but a babe in illithid terms, it is cunning and intelligent, and possesses rudimentary telepathy, which it used to get itself placed at the monastery, in the hopes that one of the cultists would become sufficiently powerful to facilitate its birth.

Unfortunately, it was a bit too clever in getting them to see it as an object of worship. It has been locked behind glass for nearly two centuries now.

Its eventual goal is to find a powerful wizard and be birthed (it is a psychic entity, rather than a physical one) into the body of a highly intelligent female, so that it can birth more of its kind and begin a program to infest the sentient species of Earth.

When its species achieves critical mass, it will begin enslaving the human race and recreating its former interstellar empire (with enlightened, modern laws regarding the overeating of sentient herds).

*The Silver Chain:* An international order of martial artists who have, in their inner search, discovered the astral plane and consequently been invited in. Their primary goals are self-enlightenment and secrecy, but they occasionally do good deeds as well. The intense psychic training possible in the astral plane has reflected in the physical world as well, and they are typically psion/monks or psychic warrior/monks.


> Silver Cord (general feat): You have learned to astrally project. However, the astral plane is a pretty dangerous place, dealing d4 temporary INT damage every full minute you remain in it unprotected. You can see & hear into the physical world as if using clairvoyance/clairaudience (by locale). There is no time limit, other than the psychic damage.
> 
> Silver Chain (general feat): Prereq WIS 13+, Silver Cord. You have created a demiplane for yourself. In general, a demiplane has no special abilities unless you develop them separately from this feat, but you can work with your GM to make it interesting.



Due to some influence from St Margaret's Tear, some among their number have become convinced that the artifact hidden somewhere in the monastery is the key to Ultimate Martial Power... unfortunately, knowing where it is astrally is not the same thing at all as knowing how to get to it in the physical world, and this has spanned a years-long search for the monastery the egg is hidden in.

And they are much better fighters than detectives.

*NPCS*

*Pitr Vascova:* A former member of the Dragon Cult and a former monk of the Church, Pitr fled and abandoned his vows when dark dreams drove him nearly mad. They started when he first moved to the Tear of St Margaret, and he has had an unhealthy obsession with that monastery (from a distance) ever since.

Once a sensitive artist who was fascinated by dragons (and entered monastic life to be part of the Dragon Cult movement), he lived a quiet life of contemplation, painting and sculpting his favored subjects (themed around Saints, of course), and _believing_ in the eventual return of dragons to the world. He'd also mastered some of the ley line magics that connected him with dragons (1 or 2 levels of sorcerer, nothing compared to what the devoted cultists can do).

When he moved to the Tear monastery, however, things began to change. He dreamt of worms moving through his mind, and of a dragon, dying and tortured by the same worms. He dreamt of a foul-looking squid on the head of a woman, scooping the skull of a monk while blood dried on the walls. Worse, the dreams hinted at darker things... and he began to believe that the Dragon Egg was one of the worms in his dreams, and that it was trying to get inside him (it was).

He broke after less than a month of the nightmares, and fled the monastery to begin a new life of binge drinking and obsessive research. Looking at records of the Tear in a new light, he began to realize what it wasn't... and it wasn't the noble dragon of his fantasies, but something else.

*Melpomine's Keeper:* This is a singular individual who also has a demi-plane in the astral realm. His demiplane is built around a bound Muse (treat as a 1/2 celestial dryad, nymph, or similar) who provides him with insight, creativity and similar things.

He is not a nice person.

He has also discovered the egg, and seeks its location. He's a better researcher than the Silver Chain, however, and though he started later, is likely to find it sooner.

His demiplane resembles a vast mansion (which the PCs will likely be taking for their own early in this scenario) with a variety of paintings throughout. Although few know it, the paintings show images from the possible future of the people viewing them. The coolest part of his astral demiplane, however, is that it allows people to approach in physical form (using a variant of _Mordenkainen's mansion_ combined with his astral feats).

He also has one other wonderful toy: a life-sized paper tiger that acts as his bodyguard in the physical realm (see Origami Golem, below).

*Origami Golem:* This is a golem made of thick, folded paper in the shape of a three-dimensional paper sculpture. It is usually constructed to resemble an animal, and has the same stats as that animal, in addition to its golem traits.

Golem Traits -
Weight changes to 50 lbs
HD changes to d10
Speed: Same, but can't run

Construct: Immune to mind-influencing effects, poison, disease, and similar effects. Not subject to critical hits, subdual damage, ability damage, energy drain, or death from massive damage.

Magic Immunity (Ex): Golems completely resist most magical and supernatural effects, except as follows. Fire-based attacks do damage normally. Force-based attacks cures 1 point of damage for each 3 points of damage it would otherwise deal.

The most significant aspect of an origami golem, however, is its portability. It can (as a full round action) contract to a 10 lb stack of paper or expand back out to its full size (where it weighs 50 lbs). The origami golem can be carried in a reasonably small briefcase, and weighs as much as an early 90s laptop when so compressed. This is important to Melpomine's Keeper, who has many enemies.

*ACTION*

Fortunately, most of the complexity is in the setup! If you have a good grasp of the factions, the rest of the scenario largely writes itself. I will, as a courtesy, show you how .

*Part I: Get the PCs to Moscow*

This part's pretty easy. Use one of the hooks below, or make up your own, or just explain to the players that the fun stuff is in Moscow . They don't need to know about the Tear yet (if they don't, it will lend more of a "what the hell do all these people want?" feel later), but if you want more of a straight adventure, it won't hurt if they do.

Some hooks:

The Church is investigating a possible internal cult and the PCs are working for them (as faithful agents, hired mercenaries, what have you), and there is some _strong_ evidence that the cult is based out of Moscow, and is armed and dangerous.

Pitr Vascova, in his fleeing travels, finds himself in a bar in the same country as the PCs. He tells them his tale. Depending on the PCs, you could play it up as (a) he asks them to help him destroy the Tear, (b) he's a drunk mumbling about an Ultimate Power Thingy in a Moscow monastery, (c) he's changed his mind and wants the Tear now (he doesn't tell them about the Tear) and hires them as bodyguards for his trip back to Moscow (he stole money when he fled).

If one of the PCs is a wizard, they could stumble across a reference to a Pearl of Power (not the normal D&D item) that allows a wizard to learn more spells than normal without WIS/CHA loss. It was last owned by a Russian czar, although it disappeared when the Church got him beheaded, and disappeared somewhere in Moscow. On-site research is needed to determine its location...

Really, though, there's a bajillion ways to get the PCs into this. Any kind of PCs, any kind of overall campaign - just pick an NPC or group that they're compatible with, fiat that the group has discovered something about the Tear, and have them hire, plead, blackmail, wheedle or entice the PCs to get it for them. That's the great thing about powerful artifacts.

*Part II: Finding the Tear of St Margaret Monastery*

Regardless of how they get to Moscow, the trail leads to a monastery well outside of Moscow. If they're looking for THE Tear, they'll find some good books about its history in the Moscow libraries; if they're just looking for A Tear (without any idea of what it is), they could stumble across someone who saw the exhibit. If Pitr's with them, he'll know the way, and if they're working for the Church, they can find a manifest that indicates the cult uses the crumblinf, old monastery is a possible base of operations (perhaps the manifest lists the address).

Whatever clues they find, however, there will be a diversion before they can go there.

If it's late at night when they get the facts, and they decide to go there in the morning, you can have Melpomine's Keeper interrupt their sleep and ask to speak with them. He is a heavyset man, with a very ordinary (_alter self_) face. Otherwise, they can just run into him... but the goal is for him to NOT be very likeable, and interrupting their sleep will help with that.

Regardless, he will ask them (agressively if need be) why they are looking into the monastery. He will be brusque, discourteous, and won't answer questions in return. He will warn them off, or offer to hire them if they will bring the Tear to him. Remember: make them dislike him!

The purpose of this is some DM subterfuge - while they're busy deciding he's the BBEG, the Tear will be moving slowly into their possession and into the hands of the party spell caster. When they defeat him, they should be planting the seeds of their destruction. Melpomine's Keeper is merely a red herring...

At any rate, they should say no, or if they say yes, he'll screw them. Either way, they will eventually need to fight him to get the Tear, and that should be set up here and now. If they try to fight him NOW, of course, the origami golem will cover his escape, and then blow away into paper (you can give him more than one, if the PCs seem adept at taking them apart, or he has to abandon it).

*Part III: Investigating the Tear*

Once at the monastery, a few things will happen.

1) The Dragon Cult will become aware of the PCs' interest in the Tear. This is not something they like, and they will begin surreptitiously following the PCs. The PCs may be aware of someone following them, but the cultists will flee confrontation - most of them are like Pitr, sensitive souls who believe in dragons, although they ARE sorcerers.

2) The Silver Chain order, who have managed to find their way to Moscow, but not much past it, had a lucky coincidence - they overheard the PCs figuring it out. One of them is surreptitiously following the PCs to find out what other goodies they can figure out, while the others plan their night time raid.

3) The PCs will see the Tear. And the Tear will see _them_. Specifically, it will spot the intelligent female PC or NPC you made sure was in the group (in the characters section). This, it will decide, is its perfect choice to bear its infantile mind and be the mother to its species...  and it will do something it hasn't dared to do in centuries. It will telepathically speak to its target. Adopting a voice not unlike what you might imagine from a baby dragon, it will plead for help in escaping its captors. It will offer to teach magic in return, and merely ask for freedom from the arcane torture it has been subjected to. It will explain that wizards drain their own madness into it, causing it immense pain - the magic it teaches does not cause or require this. Please?

*Part IV: Stuff Happens*

No, really .

There are plenty of conflicts and alliances possible, and they all lead where the game needs to go. They could end up discovering the Silver Chain and fighting with them over the Tear... or talking with them and allying with them to protect the Tear.

If they actually have a chance to speak with the Cultists, and tell them what the Tear said, the cultists may even PAY the PCs to take it and protect it. Otherwise, a cult of low level sorcerers can provide a pretty serious fight.

Other factions could be introduced, with similar wishy-washy ally/fight results. It depends on who the PCs get along with.

They won't get along with Melpomine's Keeper, of course... if they let him hire them, he'll happily take the Tear, and then betray them to the Dragon Cult so he doesn't have to meet any of his promises to them. If they didn't hire on with him, he'll just steal it during the confusion of dealing with everyone else.

In the later case, his plan is to leave a false Tear in its place (an unusually large true pearl), and he would probably get away with it... except that the pearl is silent, and the female character knows its not the same.

*Part V: If This Was A Five Act Play, You'd Be Killing Something*

The big fight with Melpomine's Keeper. He's a wizard with one or more origami golems, hiding on his home turf in the astral. He should be tough, but scaled to the party, and eventually they should be able to kill him... and discover that they've inherited some really nice astral property.

The place will indulge them in terms of layout, be defensible... and offer quick retreats and clairvoyant capabilities.

They'll also have the Tear, and generally, anyone who they're allied with will agree that they're the best people to protect it (because of the female character that it is fond of), and everyone else is likely to be an enemy.

The paintings in the mansion are the only sore point. Images of worms crawling through skulls, strange alien humanoids with tentacles coming out of their open mouths, and any other forboding images you want to steal from future plots you're planning. By the time they figure out that the pictures are _precognitive_, you can have them discover and free the Muse causing them.

The Muse has her own painting, too, the one she's trapped in. But that's another scenario...

*Future Lines*

The female character should start out reasonably nice or heroic, or whatever passes for it in the group. As time passes, she should become more cold and vicious, more willing to shed blood to achieve the aims of the group. And the Tear will be teaching her magic, even as her form begins to alter.

Eventually, she will need to learn spells to conceal her changes (possibly a 3rd level Alter Self that lasts for 1 hr/lvl?), as she will be becoming an illithid. This is why you need to pick the player carefully - she isn't failing saving throws, she's just merging with the psychic creature in the Tear.

Eventually, the party will have the opportunity to stop her, or NOT stop her (in which case she will disappear into the 6 billion population of Earth, finding new targets and implanting psychic eggs in them).

I mentioned the Cthulu, X-Files and White Wolf stances. Here's where they come in:

Cthulu: She's going to escape. You KNOW she's going to escape. And trying to find her will just lead you into a pit of despair, or yet another world-devouring monster. In fact, distract them with a world-devouring monster, and then, game years later, have them stumble across a secret Squid-Faced Bible titled something akin to Mein Kampf which explains their plan, but not how to find them. While you're at it, the Muse is actually a soul-devourer that possesses artists and inspires them beyond human limits until madness and death overtake them.

X-Files: If they don't stop her, the government will hire and equip them to find and stop her. It will be a long battle, but one they'll eventually win. And while they're at it, they'll prevent the Return of Dragons (by the Dragon Cult), discover some hidden conspiracy in the bowels of Melpomine's Keeper's mansion...

White Wolf: Maybe they stop her. Maybe they don't. But they kick a lot of a** while they're at it, and in the end, what's one more supernatural creature running the government? Have them discover other supernatural Orders, get in fights over better artifacts... After all, the squid-faced people from Mars may have arrived, but they're gonna have to stand in line for taking over the world. Welcome to Earth, b****.


----------



## seasong

I feel like I just scooped out part of my brain with a wooden spoon.

*anonystu:* See what you made me do? Now I've gone and made Rune's eyes bleed.


----------



## WinnipegDragon

seasong said:
			
		

> *I feel like I just scooped out part of my brain with a wooden spoon.
> *




I was going to guess Oyster Fork 

I must also add...   Seasong:  Wow.  That's a mighty fine looking module.  It's always nice to see that they guy who beat you out in the first round didn't win with a fluke 

Good luck!


----------



## cool hand luke

IRON dm round 2:
Cool hand luke vs. Seasong

Femme fatale
Crumbling temple
Origami golem
Pearl
Foreboding mansion
Ex-monk


The pearl of great price:  a bridge from one adventure, to another, for about 7th level characters. 

Background:

In the country of Mandin, the handmaidens are a highly trained, highly devoted group of all female monks that serve as bodyguards to the royal family.


It seemed like such a small thing, really. One of literally hundreds. Surely it wouldn't matter? Besides, think of all the good you could do with it, a poor family could eat for a week on the proceeds of this tiny thing. That's what was running through Shanzli's mind, as she kneeled behind her mistress.

She glanced up, never daring to actually raised her bowed head, but just enough to see the back of the white dress, covered with hundreds if not thousands of tiny pearls, just like the one on the floor by her foot.  Using her years of training, she moved her hand with snake like speed, and scooped up the little pearl.  

As a member of the Handmaidens, Shanzli had achieved an honor and prestige that was almost unfathomable for someone born into her social standing.  Her entire family was poor.  Starving to near death in the winter poor.  Her father owned a small cobbler store on the fringes of the great capital city.  Her life was typical of that of a peasant girl, a second-class citizen because of her sex, even in her own family.  She was the last one to eat every night, and the first one up in the morning, to do the dirtiest work of preparing the hides for her father and brothers.

This all changed during her tenth summer.  That year, the Handmaidens had chosen new members.  As normal they scoured all the temples of  (whatever god good monks would worship.  Where Shanzli is, it is by far the predominant religion).  That’s where the Cloud master (think reverend mother) had found the young girl, deep in meditation, long before anyone else, even the monks would be there.  This caught the Cloud Master’s eye.  She had the devotion, and discipline, and, luckily, also the beautiful face necessary, and so, Shanzli was chosen to start the training of becoming a handmaiden.  

Her life did not immediately get any better, the training, a 5-year process, was incredibly grueling.  The first year, she worked harder than she thought possible, doing rough manual labor that built up her slight frame with long, lean muscle.  She was also grilled in court etiquette, rules for diplomatic behavior, and most importantly, the Dow-ha, the strict code of absolute obedience, devotion, and rejection of worldly 
Things to better serve the Royal family.

The majority of those chosen at age ten were not able to complete the training.  Shanzli was one of the few with the array of physical and mental talents needed to pass the grueling final exam, and so, at the age of 15, she was allowed to become a handmaiden of rank 1.  

Even though she was forbidden to ever see her family again, she was allowed to receive letters from them.  At first, Shanzli thought that this was meaningless.  No one else in her family could read or write, and they certainly could not afford a scribe.  But a letter came nonetheless, in it; her father explained (through a scribe) that the honor that she had brought her family had turned their fortunes around.  Everyone now graced his cobbler shop, thinking if his daughter was good enough for a handmaiden, surely his shoes were of good quality.

Shanzli served happily for almost ten years, truly excelling in all she did.  She was one of the youngest ever to reach the 10th rank, and was nearing the 12th rank when her downfall occurred.  

Unbeknownst to her, the Cloud Master has seen her pick up the pearl that had fallen from the princess’s ceremonial gown.  She assumed that as soon as the ritual was over, Shanzli would return it.  When, after 2 weeks, Shanzli hadn’t returned the pearl, the Cloud master brought in one of the mystic seers, to discover the whereabouts of the pearl.  The seer, after putting himself in a trance, described a scene that was to be Shanzli’s downfall.  It was revealed that the young monkess had become infatuated with “the pretty”  she hid it, hoarded it, and had started to obsess over it.  

Shanzli was immediately called into the Cloud Masters chamber, and confronted.  She flatly denied having the pearl, further damning her.  The cloud master then calmly reached into Shanzli’s robe. Into the secret pocket she had sewn there, and removed the pearl.

On the spot the cloud master expelled her from the handmaidens, ripped her traditional uniform from her, and after striking her with a stunning blow, slowly, forcefully, pressed the small pearl into the center of her forehead, where it remains to this day.

The cloud master explained to her that the ritual redeeming suicide would not be available to her, her punishment would be to live out the rest of her life in disgrace.

Stunned, humiliated, and naked, Shanzli was cast from the palace grounds.  Desperate, she stole some clothes from an old woman’s laundry, and tried to return home.  

Word reached her fathers house before she could.  There had not been a handmaiden expelled in over 200 years.  The shame this brought her family had only one redemption.  When shanzli approached her father’s house, her father, mother, and 2 brothers were sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of their house, each holding a ceremonial knife.  As she approached, her father started the ritual chant of honor redeeming suicide, and slowly pressed the knife into his abdomen, followed, in turn, by the rest of the family.  

At that moment Shanzli’s mind snapped in two.  When she got up from where she had fallen, there was a different, glint to her eyes, and the pearl in her forehead was no longer white, but deep black.

This new person named herself Jezell, and was the antithesis of everything Shanzli stood for.  She reveled in the world, and the pleasures it could bring, and lived a life of debauchery.  She soon found that her natural beauty gave her great power over men, and the natural quickness, and strength from her monk training had other uses as well.  

At first, Jezell dominated, with only small lapses back into a confused Shanzli.  Slowly, Shanzli began forcing herself more to the front.  Currently, it is about a 50/50 split.  Jezell is obsessed with living life to the fullest, especially in physical beauty.  She has acquired a good amount of wealth, and an impressive art collection.  Her true passion is jewelry and gems of all sorts, pearls above all.  Shanzli is equally consumed with repentance.  She longs to be able to atone for her sins, and thus, have the option of honor redeeming suicide.

Each is aware that the other is there, peripherally, but they choose to ignore it.

CURRENT EVENTS:

Shanzli (and her alternate personality, Jezell), have settled down many years ago near the town of Anten, a good sized down on a bustling overland trade route.  Jezell purchased a large building on the edge of town, that was originally the fort/garrison that was the start of the town.  Her reputation is legendary in the town. The knowledge of her wealth and taste for finery is stuff of local legend.  She is said to be able to seduce men into doing anything she desires.  The town is unaware of shanzli.

Hooks:  This would be a great little side plot to drop on your characters immediately after they have completed some large quest, and are thinking they are simply headed into town to pawn there loot, and get a little R&R.   Give them some gems/jewelry they need to pawn.  This is also a nasty way to take away any over powered magic items that might have fallen into their possession.

HOOK:  upon entering town, when they try to sell any gem, or jewelry item (including magic items that are in the form of gems or jewelry) The shopkeeper gets nervous when he sees what they are pawning, and he says that he is not interested in purchasing those items, if questioned, at first he will simply refuse to say why.  If the characters leave to go to another store, it’s the same song, second verse.  If they push (or bribe) a storekeeper, they will say that all the gems and jewelry they acquire are stolen from them within a fortnight, and they simply don’t want to lose any more money.  They will then inform them that the only people in town that are buying such items is Jezell, at the old fort outside of town, even though she has reported numerous robberies herself. And that she normally pays more for the items than the shops do.

This is also serves as the beginning to a much longer quest to obtain the pearl of great price.

Scene 1:  a cordial meeting

The house/fort lies on a large hill, just outside of town, and can be seen from afar.  Even from a distance, things appear odd.  There is an overbearing feeling of foreboding hanging in there, with no apparent source.  There is a large wood and stone wall completely surrounding the grounds.  However, instead of a thick, heavy door across the entrance, a light, skillfully crafted ornate gate lays across.  The odd juxtaposition is continued through out the grounds.  As the parties approach, they will see that the battlements that overlook the entrance have been carved to form statues, and the huge wooden posts that should anchor the main gate have been carved with scenes of various fey women seducing men.  The gate will be open, and no one will be seen.  Inside the gates, the start of a beautiful, if slightly odd, garden will have been planted.  The garden, while full of delightful flowers, is far to structured, all lines are squares, and the plants form ranks and files, much like an army marching.  The main building itself carries on the theme, of trying to cover up a militaristic undertone with lots of fancy decorations.  The whole effect is rather disconcerting.

Upon reaching the main door, the party finds it open, and an exotic, and very beautiful woman is standing down the ornate hall (or, at least, a very dry military hall that has had expensive carpets and tapestries hung over it).  She is dressed in a very formal (but still provocative) formal gown and absolutely dripping with jewelry.  Observant party members will note a small black pearl embedded in her forehead. She greets the travelers enthusiastically, and graciously welcomes them into her home.  After exchanging pleasantries, she asks them what brings them to her house. 

Upon hearing they have jewels, she becomes obviously excited.  She leads them to the next room, which is the main hall of the fort, that has seen extensive reworking to make it appear elegant.  Sitting down, she asks to see their wares, and comments appreciatively about them.  She excitedly offers them prices well above market value.  The more treasure they present, the more excited she gets.  She really turns on the charm here, letting them know how grateful she is to have such wonderful items.  At some point, will inquire about a ring, brooch, etc etc, that the players are wearing, that they aren’t trying to sell, and says she would like to buy it as well.  However, she cares nothing for the magical nature of them and offers the player only as much as the jewelry itself is worth.  If they decline her offer (or any other offer for jewelry up to that point) she will pause briefly, and a frown will flash across her face.  “Very well then, let’s not quibble.

Part 2:  the deal goes south.

And here is where the DM get’s to choose exactly how rat bastardly he wants to be.  
The less rat bastardly way to play it at this point, she gets up, and excuses herself, saying she must go to the ladies room, and while she’s back there, she will get the gold to pay to characters.  She picks up a few of the more valuable items and exits out the large door at the back of the room, closing it behind her.
Then she doesn’t come back.  If the PC’s don’t go to investigate, in about 30 minutes, start making listen checks, on a successful check, they hear hammering, coming from the direction the lady left in.

The more rat bastardly way to go about this (and don’t we all want to be more rat bastardly?) is after the rejected offer, she get’s up, and then offers refreshment to the characters.  She goes to a large armoire, and opens it, revealing a well stocked bar.  She offers them wine, or strong spirits of their choice, all of exquisite vintage.  And pours herself a large glass of wine, and offers a toast to there new business dealings.  The drinks are, of course, poisoned.  Make a tough dc check suitable for your characters.  The Drug greatly heightens the potency of alcohol, making one drink act like ten.  Jezzel is quite free with the re-fills, and puts on show of getting quite drunk herself.  She uses her very considerable charms and feminine ways to get the characters to drink as much as possible. A few swigs should render the players almost unconscious.   The poison affect her, she doesn’t know why, but doesn’t question it either.

Once inebriated, Jezzell begins to open negotiations again, trying to get the now drunk companions to part with their pretties.  Failing that, she will simply try to pick pocket them (with a huge penalty to the spot check for there inebriation)  Once she has what she wants, she excuses herself, and again disappears down the hall.  

So what if you have a stuffy paladin who doesn’t drink?  Plan b is to use a contact poison.  She goes back to refill her drink, and, while there, coats her hand in a substance that is a VERY powerful sedative.  She will then become, “mrs flirty” and try to touch the bulging biceps of the stuffy paladin.  Failing that fort save will render him unconscious.  

Part 3:  the disturbing hall.  
Sooner or later, the party goes down the hall to follow Jezell.  Upon opening the door, they see a very long hallway leading away from them, with many doors on each side.  Near where they stand, thick rugs cover the floor, and beautiful paintings adorn the walls.  The rooms at this end of the hall are lavish bedrooms, with huge, comfortable beds, rich furniture and fittings.  As the hall progresses, the carpets, paintings, and rooms all slowly degrade, at first becoming stained, faded, then threadbare, by the far end of the hall, and a staircase leading down (where an occasional hammer blow can be heard)  the floors and walls are bare stone, and the rooms at the far end are tiny, dirty, decrepit things.  There are simple straw mattresses, and absolutely no furnishings.  As they walk down the hall, they will come across various items of jewelry, all the ones that Jezell was wearing.  At the far end of the hall, they will come across her dress, hung neatly on a hook beside the staircase that leads down.

The party can take time to search any rooms along the way, describe the room and it’s contents, if you are being rat bastardly, and Jezell took there items, keep track of how long it takes them to get through this.  The longer it takes them, the more of their goods Shanzli will have time to destroy.

Part 4:  going down

The hallway ends in a circular staircase winding down.  At the bottom of the landing is a wide, shallow room.  It is completely barren, except for a wooden door on the right side of the room, and 2 objects on the left.  One appears to be a large display cabinet, filled with all sorts of gems and jewelry; the other is a large chest.  Both, however, are really mimics.  If the pc’s get close, they will attack.  They can be avoided by going straight to the door on the right hand side.  


Behind the door is a plethora of unusual sites.  10’ directly in front of the door is a very large table.  On one half of the table, are pieces of paper, of sizes varying from postage stamp to almost 1’ a side, of a great variety of colors.  The other side of the table is overflowing in the same pieces of paper, which have been covered in very small writing.  If they look at one of the papers, In a variety of languages the phrase, 

“I write this as my temporary penance, to atone for the sin I have done, and the dishonor I have caused my family.  For the blood that is on my hands, there is no forgiveness, and I must find the pearl to deserve the sweet cleansing death.”

But what really catches their attention are four figures behind the desk.  There are 4 statues, 1 adult male, 1 adult female, and 2 adolescent males.  They are sitting cross-legged, staring ahead.  In each ones right hand is a dagger.  The father’s dagger is plunged into his midsection, and a bright red stream seams frozen in mid air.  Next to him, the mother’s dagger has penetrated her skin, and the same crimson is beginning to spurt.  The older boy had just punctured the skin, with a hint of red visible, and the youngest ones dagger is hovering an inch from his exposed belly.  This last one is an incomplete figure, stopping at the chest level. Upon examination, the bodies are made from thousands, if not millions of tiny pieces of paper, each one covered in the aforementioned phrase, and cunningly folded.  Close examination will reveal hundreds of familiar shapes, a cat here, a house, a tree, a person, a sword, a crane, all coming together to form these large, disconcerting figures.

During this whole time, the occasional hammer strike can be heard, and an occasional scream, some of rage, some of victory, can be heard coming from an open doorway, that leads down to darkness.  The passage starts off large, anyone can stand up.  Slowly the passageway narrows, and shrinks to where humans have to duck.  All the while the sounds are growing louder.  The passageway continues, until you are forced to your hands and knees.  This is not comfortable; the floor is of very rough-hewn rock quickly tearing at the hands and knees.  The banging continues.  The passageway shortens some more; soon, the characters are forced onto their bellies, crawling the last 50’.  About the time they start crawling, they can see light at the end of the tunnel.  

Do a listen check for Shanzli, (hampered of course, by her hammering).  If she fails, she will be working at destroying some gem or jewelry when the pc’s enter.  If she hears them, she will be standing on the fall wall and will address them as they come in.


The tiny tunnel opens into a small circular room, about 30’ radius with a domed roof.  At first glance, it is obvious that this is a temple of some sort. Light comes from a single lantern overhead, however, this light is greatly amplified by the surroundings.  The ceiling is covered by fine granules (sand size) of an array of colors, brilliant reds, blues, and greens decorate the walls.  These are the crushed remains of thousands of gemstones.   The floor is covered by gold, silver, and platinum, that has been beaten flat, melding with the natural rock floor, obviously the settings of thousands of rings and necklaces. The temple is dominated by a huge altar, the base of which is covered in inscriptions and depictions of the god of monks. It has been carved from one single massive piece of rock, in fact, the whole room seems to be hewn out of the native stone.  Behind the altar, is a small (3’) statue of that deity, looking out of place next to the overly large altar. The statues hands are held out, appearing to be grasping a sphere about the size of a softball that isn’t there. 

The real oddity is the condition of the altar.  It has been worn down, cracked, and crumbling.  One of the front corners has sloughed off entirely onto the floor.  The top of the altar is covered in pearl dust, giving it a ghostly glow.

The reason for the disrepair of the altar is readily apparent.  A very large hammer lies next to it.  If Shanzli didn’t hear them coming, she is raising the hammer to try to destroy yet another gem. 

The woman before them scarcely resembles the gracious woman that met them at the door.  Gone is the beautiful evening dress, in it’s place are the rags of a poor peasant, that have been worn so threadbare as to almost not be there.  Gone is her regal stature, and all her jewelry.  The pearl in her forehead is now white.

If the PC’s attack her, she will defend herself (most likely surprising them with her abilities)  
She will use her stunning attack to stop the party members, all the while, begging for the chance to explain.  She is loathe to kill, but will do so if necessary, for she cannot allow herself to die in her current state of disgrace.  If the PC’s ever stop fighting, she will begin to talk.

She will tell them her tale, and say that the only way that she can redeem herself is destroying the precious items she comes across, but, she has found that that is not enough.  She has received a vision, that the only way to completely amend her wrongdoing is to first complete the origami golems in the room above, and then, place the pearl of great price in the hands of the statue, it will be a perfect fit.  Then, and only then, will she be allowed to go upstairs, kneel amongst the golems of her family, and find her sweet release in death.

She then asks if they would seek for this pearl, and, bring it to her, for payment, all of the house would be given to them.

If they agree, she returns their magic items as a gesture of good faith, and let’s the go.
If  they don’t agree, she will escort them out.  They will see the bizarre transformation, somewhere along the hall way, from Shanzli to Jezell.

Whoever, once Jezell is back in control, she cannot stand to see the pretty things escape her, and will attack the party. If near death, she will use two hidden exits out of the main room to try to escape.


Should the party kill Shanzli, she is doomed to never resting in peace, and will haunt them, as both Jezzell and Shanzli, until amends are made (the pearl is given to the god).  The first part of that curse will be a nice surprise when they attempt to leave.  The origami golems, infused with the essence of there dead creator, will attack them.  


GAME MECHANICS
The house represents the divided mind of the temptress.  The main front room is Jezells domain entirely, while anything downstairs is strictly Shanzli.  The hallway is the link between the two, and either one can be present there.  As far as abilities, since the each one is not aware of the other, they cannot use the others abilities.  The only exceptions to this are class skills that both the monk and rogue have, and innate abilities that don’t need knowledge of them, (the immunity to disease, and poison)  Jezell doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t get sick.

If the parties mention one of them to the other, shanzli/jezzell simply do not believe them, and cannot be convinced.

A final note, if the party kills jezzell at the end when she attacks, there should be huge repercussions.  She is well known in town, and has many associates, the law should be called out immediately.  It will be hard for them to convince anyone that she was dangerous, or that she was attacking them, since this is all not the Jezzell that they know.


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## Rune

Edit--Nevermind.

I'm reading the entries.  Judgement to follow.  Whenever I finish Seasong's book.



Second Edit--But, of course, cool hand luke gave me a book, too.  At least I have something to do while I wait a week for the next match


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## cool hand luke

first thing i saw was that season said he wrote a bit to much, and my heart did rejoice.  Man it's hard to concisely state some of this stuff.  Man that was a fun exercise, though now my brain is oozing out my ears.


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## cool hand luke

oh crap it, forgot to give any particulars.

Jezzell is an 8th level rogue, heavy on charisma

shanzli is an 11 level ex-monk


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## seasong

Cool hand luke: Nice scenario - I like the fact that we both made the pearl a source of damnation .

Rune: Take your time. I'll just savor the remaining shreds of my ego in the meantime...


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## Rune

just to note, I won't be paying attention to the information cool hand luke provided after his post.  That kind of defeats the purpose of not editing.  However, as I _can_ easily ignore it, there is no reason to disqualify him.

Now, back to reading.

Good luck, both of you.


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## cool hand luke

wow seasong, that is incredible.  I mean, really really good.

I'm big into theology, and church history, and that was really impressive.  did you know the history of that saint already, or go find it.

kudo's to you, excellent work.


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## Greppa of Tartwater

*Hrm....*

_*Looks at Seasong's looooooong post*_ 

Hrmmm, now I see what happened to my L.A.T.D. update.


P.S. 
Good Luck. 

_*BAMF*_


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## Talix

Wow - those were two very cool scenarios!  Congrats definitely to both of you, Seasong and Cool Hand Luke!

Seasong: Despite the fact that it seemed vaguely like there wasn't really a whole lot of actual action defined, there are TONS of plothooks to follow and ways to take it.  It's definitely more of a "some assembly required", but the finished product could be really cool!  

Cool Hand Luke: Despite being a newcomer to these competitions, you definitely show a lot of promise.  The beginning of your story started out slow (since you were basically just telling a story at that point), but once you got into the current happenings it definitely picked up.  I loved how Jezzell used the fact that she was immune to poison without realizing why she had that ability (in fact, when you were describing that encounter and the contact poison, I couldn't figure out at first why she was immune, either! Great differentiation between personalities.).    And definite rat-bastardness throughout, especially at the end where the PCs are attacked by a well-known public figure in private.  

Overall, I could definitely see it going either way.  Good luck!


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## seasong

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> I'm big into theology, and church history, and that was really impressive.  did you know the history of that saint already, or go find it.



I'm a Joan of Arc fan, so Margaret's not that obscure to me . As for why I picked her, that will have to wait until Rune is done, but there were some good free associations there.


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## Rune

*Round 2, match 1 Judgement*

*cool hand luke vs. Seasong*

First things first, I have a to say, cool hand luke, this is an impressive improvement in both format and in presentation.  You've done a much more polished and well-thought out entry than your last one!  I'm pleased.  On the other hand, Seasong!  You lose points for _consistently_ misspelling Cthulhu!  Kutulu or Ktulu would have been acceptible, but Cthulu is just plain laziness!

To get into the adventures, though.  Seasong provides good hooks--very flexible, detailed and diverse.  They are sound and solid.  However, cool hand luke's single hook is far superior.  Why?  It combines greed with curiosity and is _certain_ to work.  I haven't met a party yet that would pass that hook up.

Now, cool hand luke's actual adventure is very short.  In fact, it reads more as a sort of extended encounter than an actual adventure.  It's really sort of an introduction to some future adventure.  Still, not really linear and, most importantly, he steps away from the railroading that plagued his last entry (and would have caused him to lose, had I not been able to use his excellent intrigue to easily ignore it).  I really like the idea of getting the PCs drunk (and drunker than they would be suspecting, due to the poison) for the dealings (I'd make secret appraisal checks at penalties for the players and tell them in vague terms things like, "She's offering way more than it's worth" when they blow the checks due to the alcohol), but the really nice part, will be getting the PCs down that hallway while they're drunk.

Seasong, on the other hand, wow!  I was a bit skeptical at first about this new setting that you've presented, especially as it pretty much has to be its own campaign.  But you've provided enough information that it _can_ be its own campaign without any problems, whatsoever.  Excellent!  Not only that, but you offer excellent advice for playing the campaign/adventure in different styles!  Although, I might add something to your White Wolf note: The illithid-woman deals with horrible amounts of angst related to her corruption and transformation, while enjoying the benefits that it presents.  But, I'm just being mean.  

Both entries are wildly creative.  Seasong builds upon anonystu's bold gambit and sets up an adventure far beyond the standard D&D.  Furthermore, it's creepy as hell.  But, then, so is cool hand luke's!  Added to that, hints of the Dune series keep showing up, which are a nice touch.  I like how cool hand luke presents his background in a story; it makes things easy to understand and provides context.  Of course, if it had been a bad story, or poorly written, it would have counted against him, but, fortunately, it was not.  Another nice touch, was the way his hints at an oriental flavor, without actually adhering to the trappings, making the scenario nicely generic.

He also has some strong hooks for the PCs to follow up on after the adventure (he'd better, as the adventure is pretty much just an introduction).  If the PCs kill Jezell, they'll have to deal with the consequences of it (and it's not too unlikely a scenario), if not, they'll probably want to go hunting for the pearl.  Seasong's entry shines in this area, however.  The hooks presented are extraordinarily varied, and all completely natural outgrowths of the events of adventure.  Which brings me to another point.  Seasong's format is event-based action combined with location-based events.  But the beauty is, things react to the PCs, so when the PCs react to them, more things will naturally react to the PCs.

Both adventures used ingredients strongly, but some were weaker in both entries, as well.

I want to make a note of the first ingredient, the _femme fatale_.  She's a staple of _film noir_ and may have seemed at odds with the oriental flavor of some of the other ingredients.  Basically, she is a woman who is deadly.  She is traditionally seductive and utterly unredeemable.  However, there is something more fundamental about her.  Not only is she deadly, _she destroys through corruption_.  Seasong dropped the trappings of the ingredient, but kept to that fundamental factor.  Cool hand luke, on the other hand, while he provides a wonderful character, stretches the meaning of the word too far.  His character is excellent, but she is no _femme fatale_.

Both entries use the origami golem in intriguing ways.  I am pleased to see it used as art, as well as protection, in Seasong's, although the change in weight breaks the verisimilitude for me, in the same way that Megatron's transformation to the tiny gun always did.  Strictly speaking, cool hand luke's origami golems are just statues,even after, perhaps, they get inhabited by spirits.  However, they are wonderfully innovative.  Constructing them out of many tiny pieces of origami was something I wasn't expecting, and feels very nice.

The Pearl is a good ingredient for both entries, as well.  I like how, in cool hand luke's, there is no mention of whether or not the pearl that the PCs would be hunting for is the same pearl that is embedded in the main NPCs' head.  Probably not, but it could be...  Making the pearl an egg is a pretty good innovation for Seasong's, but making it an illithid's egg is excellent!  Making it sentient is even better!

Seasong's foreboding mansion is brilliant.  Not only is it a great concept, a demiplane for an art-snob, but the art makes it _litterally_ foreboding!  I've also had another thought that would be important to think about in a modern setting.  These demimplanes would be the perfect places to commit murder; no one would ever find out!

I like the crumbling temple in cool hand luke's adventure; putting it within the "mansion" makes sense and having it crumble because of the continual actions of Shanzli is very nice.

I also think that his use of the Ex-monk is his strongest ingredient.  The character(s) is(are) wholey believable and pretty damned frightening in either state.  Also, the PCs are faced with a pretty nice moral quandary; the best outcome for the ex-monk is death.  Will they persue it?

However, I didn't think the foreboding mansion was particularly well-done.  It need not have been a mansion (and, in fact, I wasn't sure that it was), nor foreboding (and, in fact, it wasn't _very_ foreboding.  I love the way it is presented on the inside, but I don't think it matches the ingredient very well.

Seasong uses a couple of weak ingredients, as well.  His ex-monk is fairly useful as a hook, but ultimately not as significant as I would have liked.  Also, I don't remember seeing anywhere that the temple is crumbling, but I can't see how it would be important that it was.

Cool hand luke, you have submitted an entry far superior to your last one, although a very short adventure, when you come down to it (nevermind the length of the entry--it didn't hurt the flow).  Your entry is certainly better than other winning entries of second-round matches that I have seen in the past.

But Seasong is the reigning champion for a damned good reason, and he shows off why with his entry.  He packed a campaign into an adventure, made it as seamless as it needed to be, and didn't leave out anything that needed to be included.  That's not just impressive; that's amazing.

I like your work, cool hand luke, and I think you've got plenty of potential, both as an Iron DM contestant and as a rat-bastardly DM, but I have to give *Seasong* this match.  Seasong, you'll advance to the championship round and cool hand luke, you will challenge the losing entrant of Round 2, match 2 for the third-place honor.


----------



## Rune

Woops.  Forgot to add something to my last post:


----------



## cool hand luke

Thanks for the comments Rune, I really appreciate the feedback.

I knew I was going to be in trouble when i went up against seasong.  

This has been a great experience.  I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into when I signed up for this.  

I was also pleased with the improvements I was able to make in between rounds, I think this little exercise has improved my story telling, that's for sure!

unfortunately, in the end, I was unable to capture what was really in my head in a concise enough manner to submit it as a adventure.  I was also unable to put in words what I had envisioned for several elements, most especially the mansion, and the femme fatale notion of shanzli/jezzell.  I knew those were glaring weaknesses.

congrats seasong, your story was awesome.


----------



## Talix

Congratulations, Seasong!  

Cool Hand Luke, the best lesson you can come away from this with is to not sell yourself short - there's obviously plenty of creativity and storytelling ability in that brain of yours!


----------



## cool hand luke

my biggest dissappointment in this round was my inability to exploit the very first idea that came to my head.  as soon as I saw the list, I thought

femme fatale = ex monk

I mean, what better combination?  she appears, soft, alluring, seductive, not at all dangerous, and then proceeds to pound you into pastrami with her bare hands.


----------



## Talix

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *femme fatale = ex monk
> 
> I mean, what better combination?  she appears, soft, alluring, seductive, not at all dangerous, and then proceeds to pound you into pastrami with her bare hands. *




True, although that still wouldn't have really played into the "corruption" angle Rune was apparently looking for.


----------



## cool hand luke

yeah, I just didn't know that that was the intergral part of being a femme fatale.  In fact, I had to look femme fatale up in the dictionary, just to make sure I knew what it was.


----------



## Rune

Perhaps I should clarify.  I don't think I have ever read or heard any definition of the term, _femme fatale_, that specifically said that a corrupting influence was inherent in the concept.  However, my own observations of various _femmes fatale_ throughout _noir_ cinema and fiction lead me to that conclusion.

At heart, it seems to me to be the most important characteristic of the _femme fatale_--not just that they corrupt, but that they _destroy_ by corrupting.


----------



## cool hand luke

when is the other semi-final happening?


----------



## seasong

Exposition!

The first thing I noticed with this list of ingredients was the traps laced throughout. Rune doesn't like predictable scenarios (given the ingredients), so Asian flavor was right out. I mean, monks, origami, temples and a pearl? Yup, no Asian for me today.

He also included a very difficult ingredient, the _femme fatale_. It doesn't seem hard, but that's because most people think of a _femme badasse_ instead when they see the word. Since he included it, I had to assume he knew what it meant (if he didn't, I would have gotten docked, since I abandoned the usual perception of the word entirely).

He also took the reasonably common phrase, "a forbidding mansion" and tricked it up. Forboding means something rather different. Bastard.

Finally, he included TWO locales. It's pretty tough just to work elements into one locale within the time frame of IronDM. Having two requires not only twice the work of designing one locale, but it also requires that you spend time on connecting the dots and making sure it's "one, whole scenario". _Bastard_.

The pearl is also a bit difficult: it is a passive object, and it is hard to work a passive object into a scenario and not feel tacked on. The question tends to come up, "well, what if it was a ruby?" or some such similarly irritating thing.

But then, everything was made okay. He'd _included a pearl_. I'm about to geek out for a moment, so please forgive me...

Pearls are the earliest gemstone we have records of, the first beautiful stone adored by humanity. They've been called the Queen of Gemstones, and have appeared in literature dating back to ancient Egypt and the dawn of writing. And, tying in with the _femme fatale_, pearls have always been considered a femminine jewel. The Egyptians associated it with Isis the healer; the Greeks with Aphrodite; many cultures have associated them with the moon and femminine cycles; and many also believed that they were formed from tears of joy. Cleopatra dissolved them and drank them, and she was a quintessential _femme fatale_.

Oddly enough, pearls are also the gemstone for June.

Despite these positive aspects, however, pearls have another layer of meaning: greed and suffering. In Roman times, the penchant for pearls became so gross that women were wearing dresses that could literally stand on their own, they were so stuffed with the precious oyster spit. Europe very nearly depleted the entire oyster population looking for the bits of shiny, and laws were enacted in many cultures to curb ostentatious displays of the stuff.

The associations with self-destructive greed, and the power of the pearl to destroy a man's wealth and happiness, has been a common theme to the pearl for almost as long as the pearl has been worshipped as the goddess of healing and happiness.

_Can you see why I got a funny feeling?_

As these thoughts danced through me like tiny pearl-bedecked cherubs of joy, I decided to go with a Modern Earth setting. Partly in tribute to anonystu, but also because if I didn't, I would have had to include some fantasy background on the pearl, and it just didn't have the same oomph (for ME) as the rich history of our own world. Of course, I might have maybe included the above 250 words, but I decided it was too geeky to live, and let the scenario stand on its own.

Tumbling after that thought came two more: for a modern setting, I would use Church monks instead of D&D monks; and the temple would be their monastery, where the pearl was kept.

I already had some inklings for the pearl. I knew I wanted it to be _ancient_, older than humanity (as Isis would have wanted). I knew I wanted it to have corruptive power... and that I wanted it to be an _active_ object. And I knew I wanted it to have something to do with the _femme fatale_, possibly in creating her.

Isis, incidentally, is called the healer because she sewed her husband (Osiris) back together after his dark brother Seth cut him into several pieces and tried to feed him to the crocodile Sekhmet. She is all good things to the Egyptians. So my first thought was that she was a powerful woman who had possessed _this particular pearl_ and that it gave power over life and death. Isis would have been one of the few who used it for good, rather than ill.

Secure in that thought, I then went on to write up the Dragon Cult, and how they thought the pearl was a dragon egg. I had a lot of fun with it, and since a Church order of monks is all-male, none of them would be able to use the pearl, causing it to languish indefinitely. Boy, I kill me.

Melpomine's Keeper isn't original, by the way - I borrowed him, or rather synthesized him, from a campaign I ran a while back. The PCs came across a room full of Muses, chained to pillars for the pleasures of their owner. And I stole even that idea from an obscure little story by Neil Gaiman, where a writer kidnaps and keeps a Muse to provide himself with stories (he gets it in the end). The paintings were my way of tying the Muse's artistic association with the _forboding_ aspect, and I rather liked the result.

I tied the mansion in the only way I could think to: I like giving PCs a base of operations, so I was either going to put the pearl in the temple or the mansion, and make the other one the base of operations. That neatly tied it all into one scenario.

Pitr Vascova kind of came all at once. I'm not proud of him, but I do like him - the idea of a very sensitive artist with just enough of a femminine side for the pearl to affect... only he goes mad and runs away .

The origami golem was a nod to the literature I was abundantly stealing from. A paper tiger is a false fear - something that seems terribly frightening, but is mostly bluff. Melpomine's Keeper was one big bluff to keep the PCs from noticing the real danger, so I decided that protecting the _red herring_ with a _paper tiger_ to make it credible was a pun I couldn't pass up. I deeply, sincerely apologize.

I was thinking I was done, and only needed to write in the details of the setting, when the _illithid_ came to me. And the egg idea. It so neatly explained everything else, including why the pearl was what it was throughout history, that I couldn't let it go.

Especially since _female_ illithid are so rarely discussed. My egg from the stars was born, and I began tying stuff together.

Since the pearl was a MacGuffin (except that it WASN'T a MacGuffin, it only looked like one), it made hooks and factions easy. Perhaps too easy - I didn't spend much time on them, and cool hand luke did a much better one.

Saint Margaret was an instant choice for the Dragon Cult, and neatly tied in the pearl aspects of the "tears of joy" thing along with the "stomach lining" thing.

The Silver Chain was wholly there to help explain Melpomine's Keeper without it looking like I was writing rules just to get HIM in - the rules were for the Silver Chain, you see, he was just an "afterthought" .

Then I wrote guidelines for taking all of these things and running the PCs through pearl-tinted hell.

Oh yeah, the _femme fatale_ came with the illithid - and as soon as I started thinking about a woman being co-opted by the illithid to lay eggs for their species, I immediately thought _this would be great for one of my players_. And so I wrote it that way.

A few specific comments on the judgement:



> _Originally posted by Rune_
> I was a bit skeptical at first about this new setting that you've presented, especially as it pretty much has to be its own campaign.



There was simply no other way to follow my "funny feeling". And I wanted to make sure anonystu's sacrifice was not in vain. Well, that, and when I shake my head too hard, new settings fall out.

I'm very glad you liked it, and that I managed to make it reasonably complete in less than a billion words (I tried to follow the example of the "nutshell settings" in Pyramid Magazine, which fit an idea for a setting into a single article).



> I am pleased to see it used as art, as well as protection, in Seasong's, although the change in weight breaks the verisimilitude for me, in the same way that Megatron's transformation to the tiny gun always did.



Bah! Such simple-minded adherence to physics can not affect Megatron! He is a villain! He breaks laws! 

Seriously, it doesn't bother me in a setting with _polymorph_ or _enlarge_. I could have just said they were 10 lbs, period, but I wanted some magic in it .



> These demimplanes would be the perfect places to commit murder; no one would ever find out!



Actually, I meant to mention something about how killing Melpomine's Keeper in his realm wouldn't have legal repurcussions, but I must've forgotten. It's one more reason for the PCs to want to keep the place - a way to make enemies disappear .


----------



## el-remmen

Hey, I don't know Wulf's availability - but I will be around Sunday evening and can do it then - shall we say 7 pm?


----------



## Rune

*Now that's what I call exposition!*

Other contestants (and future contestants) would do well to take note--the care and attention that a contestant gives to the preparation of his/her entry, research, literary allusions, and, yes, even good puns--will all come through in the final product.

It can't help but work on the judge in at least a subconscious manner.  So much the better, if the judge actually recognizes some of it.

Remember, _this_ judge, at least, just recently graduated with an English literature major.  (And in Sigma Tau Delta, for whatever that's worth.)  I _like_ this kind of stuff!


----------



## cool hand luke

yikes.  Impressive explanation too.

us poor engineering types are fighting an uphill battle.

maybe in a month or so I can sponsor and iron word problems tournament, to give us a chance to shine!


----------



## seasong

*Re: Now that's what I call exposition!*

Crap. I've probably _killed_ my chances in round 3. I can see it now...

_...and what was up with seasong's entry? Compared to his last one, it was a clumsy tour de force of literary wasteland, a dry desert devoid of the cool waters of clever allusion, decorated only with the baked camels of linear Jobsworth plots. Did he think he could ride the success of his last entry? That we would be too afraid of his staggering reputation to tear down a half-assed work? Very disappointing!_

Oh well. I'll do my best, and I'll try to persuade my Muse to give me another lightning strike like the last one.


----------



## Talix

seasong said:
			
		

> *Well, that, and when I shake my head too hard, new settings fall out.*




And this is why we like your storyhours so much, seasong.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *Hey, I don't know Wulf's availability - but I will be around Sunday evening and can do it then - shall we say 7 pm? *




A 10PM EST Monday final delivery works best for me.


----------



## Rune

Again, a three-hour difference.  Given your schedules, I think, if you're both willing (especially Wulf, who would be at a slight disadvantage, but would have a built-in excuse for losing ) we'll do it the same way we would have last time.  I'll post at 7:00PM EST SUNDAY and the submissions will be due by 10:00PM EST MONDAY.

This is not an ideal situation for me, however, so if anyone has a better idea, I'd like to hear it.


----------



## Rune

Actually, I won't be in at all tomorrow, and that probably means in the evening, as well.  So we'll have to put off the match until Monday at the earliest!

Please give me your schedules, Nemmerle and Wulf!


----------



## el-remmen

Well, I can do it right now - or I can do it tomorrow or I can do it Wednesday :-(


----------



## Rune

EDIT!

Wulf, I've talked to Nemm and I have a change in plans!

_If_ I get back in time tomorrow, I will post your ingredients at sometime close to 10:00PM EST SUNDAY!  The entries will be due exactly 24 hours later.

I will NOT be looking for a check in, but CHECK IN, ANYWAY, if you see this.

If I am not back in time, I will not post the ingredients and the match will be postponed.

Good luck, gentlemen.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

OK! Checked in.


----------



## el-remmen

I'm here. . .  and ready right now. ..


----------



## Rune

It's late, but if you're both around, I have ingredients ready to go.  If you wanna go tonight, I need a Check-in from both of you.  Otherwise, my last post stands.


----------



## Rune

I'm back, so look for your ingredients at 10:00PM EST TONIGHT!

I won't call for a check-in, so keep an eye on this thread!


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## el-remmen

Just Double-Checking Checking In. . . .


----------



## Rune

*Round 2, match 1: Nemmerle vs. Wulf Ratbane*

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)

*Misanthropic halfling
Unsteady ground
Amulet of the planes
Aquarium
Battlefield
Diseased paladin*

You have exactly 24 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Got it! 

Looks fun!


Wulf


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## el-remmen

Oh man, I am cooking.


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## Rune

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *Oh man, I am cooking. *




Multitask!  

By the way, Wulf, the ingredients aren't too easy for you, are they?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *By the way, Wulf, the ingredients aren't too easy for you, are they?   *




Well, it's 4:00 AM, my brain is on overdrive, but I got nothing.

But I feel _challenged_. I like feelin' _challenged_.


----------



## Talix

Yikes!  

Remind me never to enter one of these things...!


----------



## Quickbeam

WinnipegDragon:
My comments of a few days ago were definitely not an insult.  You'd know when a former Iron DM was insulting you !  I was just pleased to see such a brash, determined statement coming from a new competitor.  These tournaments are quite grueling, and rather intimidating in many respects.  You seem to relish the challenge, and that's cool IMO.

Rune:
I love the list of ingredients you gave Wulf and nemmerle -- I can't wait to see thier entries!!


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## cool hand luke

whoa, that's an ugly list.

roseann barr in a g string ugly.


----------



## seasong

*Re: Round 2, match 1: Nemmerle vs. Wulf Ratbane*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *Misanthropic halfling
> Unsteady ground
> Amulet of the planes
> Aquarium
> Battlefield
> Diseased paladin*



I hereby withdraw my belly-aching about how hard _our_ ingredients were.


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## Rune

Sheesh.  First ingredients are too simple; then ingredients are too hard.

Will you guys be satisfied with nothing!


----------



## Dave Turner

Maybe it's bad form to chime in like this, but I think the latest ingredients (misanthropic halfling et. al.) are relatively easy.  I glanced at them and had 4 of them tied together almost instantly.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> *Maybe it's bad form to chime in like this, but I think the latest ingredients (misanthropic halfling et. al.) are relatively easy.  I glanced at them and had 4 of them tied together almost instantly.   *




Yeah, yeah... Me too. Anybody can match four. Four is easy. (In fact, I've matched five of these...)

The trick is getting that last ingredient to work without it being obvious that you haven't, in fact, made it work.


Wulf


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## el-remmen

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> *Maybe it's bad form to chime in like this, but I think the latest ingredients (misanthropic halfling et. al.) are relatively easy.  I glanced at them and had 4 of them tied together almost instantly.   *




Blah, blah, blah. . .

Put your money where your mouth is. . . 

Tying things together and tying things together _well_ are two different things, punk


----------



## el-remmen

*with an hour and forty-five minutes to spare*

Iron DM Round #2 – Nemmerle vs. Rat Wulfbane
Misanthropic halfling
Unsteady ground
Amulet of the planes
Aquarium
Battlefield
Diseased paladin
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Important Notes: I hate 3E halflings… So, my halflings are closer to the  tolkienesque kind, like they were meant to be).  Also, I kind of partly set this in Aquerra 

*Argenia of the Undying Light* is a paladin on a quest to repent for her arrogance and lack of mercy.  Dedicated to the god Ra (God of the Sun & Law), she ignored her charge to be merciful and chartable to the weak, poor and innocent.  In her relentless pursuit of even the most minor of criminals she repeatedly ignored a family of destitute plague-bearers that lived in the filthy alley near the inn she was staying at in the City of Knoliss, while seeking out a smuggling ring in that city.  More than once the mother of that family had tried to get the paladin’s aid, and more than once the holy warrior delayed, excused or ignored. The disease progressed and one by one the family died. Punished for her arrogance, Argenia awoke one day to find that her divine resistance to disease had failed her – she had the dreaded Red Wasting Disease (see below) at the middle stage.   Through prayer, research and questing Argenia began to chase down the cure of this foul disease.  She traveled halfway across the world and back, slowly succumbing to the disease, bits of her flesh becoming rawer and rawer, until she was forced to wear bandages on her hands and one her face.  She began to lose her strength – but she did not give up, and nor did she ignore even one of the commandments of her god, taking time from her quest to help the poor, heal the sick, and still bring criminals to justice and slay those things that were inherently evil.   In time, she gained a reputation as a dreaded and diseased warrior who never spoke (her tongue erupted in the blisters and pustules) and whose skill was unmatched.  No one knew she was a woman or a paladin, and she could never stay too long near anyone for fear of giving him or her the disease.  She became a mysterious figure.

*The Red Wasting Disease* – This a chronic, but eventually fatal disease. This magical disease is curable by the _remove disease_ spell during the early stages.  However, since it has no outward signs during these stages except for profuse night sweats, it is rarely detected.   This stage lasts 4 to 12 weeks. In the middle stages (which can last for years), the victim begins to break out in red and yellow puss-filled boils that burst and make the flesh underneath raw and tender.  It is also during this period that the disease becomes contagious.  Coming into contact with the puss from the boils, the bodily fluids of the victim or more prolonged exposure to their clothing or bed-clothes (and the like) in a warm climate are almost guaranteed to infect others.  During the stage the victim also suffers from bouts of fatigue and exhaustion.  Every morning a victim in the middle-stages must make a Constitution check against DC 10 or suffer from _fatigue_ all day. If a fatigued victim participates in greater than light activity (as defined by the Heal skill) for a number of minutes equal to his Constitution score, he must make an additional Constitution check at DC 15 or be _exhausted_. Both of the these checks are modified as follows: +1 to DC per 6 months the victim has been in the middle stages, +1 to DC per time the check has _ever_ been failed.  In addition, at the end of any _fatigued_ day the victim must make a Fortitude save (DC 19) or lose a point of both Constitution and Strength.  (On all of these checks a natural ‘1’ is always a failure).   During the middle stages a _Heal_ spell will cure the disease, but a restoration spell would still be needed to regain lost Con/Str (note that Argenia could simply go to a high level cleric to have the disease removed, but then lose her paladinhood).  The final stage does not set in until the victim has lost 2/3 of his Constitution score to the disease.  At which, point they disease accelerates.  The victim is automatically considered _fatigued_ all the time (as above) and must make the Fortitude save every day at an increasing +1 DC per week.  At this point only a _wish_ can remove the disease, or immersion in a pure source of Positive energy for an hour’s time.  It is this last method that Agenia has discovered, and she seeks Dorminaster’s *Amulet of the Planes* to achieve this.

Note: that whenever a victim in the middle or late stage takes damage in one hit from a melee weapon greater than an amount equal to one-tenth of their maximum hit points, they spray puss and blood.  All those adjacent to the victim must make a Reflex check (DC 11) or get some of the stuff splattered on them (risking infection).  I am leaving the actual nuts and bolts rules about infection up to the individual GM – as he can make it as infectious or not infectious as suits his campaign – though it should definitely be a threat.

*The Amulet of the Planes*: In seeking out a mage that has the item she needed to get the Positive Material Plane, Argenia discovered a network of smugglers and slavers who seemed to be succeeding at their crimes unmolested.   Pursuing this ring of criminals worked well in terms of her own quest, because the leads seemed to be bringing her back towards the City of Knoliss, where the infamous sea-faring mage Dorminaster lived – the only person she could learn of that had and Amulet of the Planes.  However, she soon learned that Dorminaster was using his position as a trusted advisor to the queen and a respected expert at sea travel and defense among merchant houses to slowly build his own criminal empire.  This high profile member of society was really an aid to slavers, and pirates and smugglers, and he was becoming rich off of it.  The _diseased paladin_ thanked Ra for his infinite wisdom and mercy, to link her goal of repentance with her quest for justice.  Moving from lieutenant to lieutenant and from safe house to safe house, she slew the wizard’s underlings and learned more and more of his operation.  The only thing she had left to do was return to Knoliss and bring the wizard to justice and claim his amulet to bring herself and whichever other victims of the Red Wasting Disease that she can fins along the way to the Positive Material Plane to heal them all, including herself.

*The Grand Opening of the Knoliss Aquarium*:  In Knoliss there is a halflings quarter (some call it a ghetto) locally called “_The Downsides_”.   Knolliss is built on a tall carved hill, that while it slopes on one side, the eastern side has fallen away, leaving a craggy tiered cliff, where once part of the city stood.  Long ago in the city’s history, it was beset by powerful wizards, who seeking to destroy the place, caused an avalanche that took nearly a fifth of the city.  The entire side of the city and the hill was at the time the site of huge battle (the wizard’s in question, being evil wizards didn’t cared in their spell destroyed some of their undead minions) and now the base of the cliff is often referred to as ‘the old battlefield”, but it is really an area littered with huge chunks of stone, pieces old buildings and of course, undead (zombies and ghouls) that emerged from beneath stones and the soft earth to hunt the living.  “the Downsides” are built on that tiered cliff.  This is an impoverished, but hard-working halflings upper lower-class neighborhood.  The halflings here do a lot of service work for the humans of Knoliss.  They try hard to emulate human ideas of prestige and wealth and society, mimicking the people they serve above all day (coming back to live here). They are also a cheap source of labor in many of the shops and businesses of Knoliss.   The newest Lord-Mayor of Knoliss, Marioso Fuchata made the halflings of “the Downsides” very happy, by unexpectedly accepting their bid for the building the new Aquarium (in his own honor), and even okaying the site which is in the halflings quarter (quite scandalous; but despite being an arrogant man who thinks he deserves every whim fulfilled, the Lord-Mayor is a good man who thinks it is a shame that the halflings are so industrious but have such poor lives).

Imagine “the Downsides” as ramshackle houses and huts built along the side of the jagged tiers, with carved steps and crawling ivy and bridges of various amounts of stability, and cramped and loud – with houses and small shops and dogs.

The main “action scene” of this adventure, takes place in the Aquarium.  The Lord-Mayor had it built when he was given his position and title by the queen, since Knoliss is land-locked and he always loved the sea (being a retired captain in the Thrician Navy) and so had it built for his own amusement, and to fill it with exotic fish and beasts and fowl that he would have to make an excuse to hunt and bring back.

Dorminaster, being a good friend of the Lord-Mayor’s (who came along on some of those hunting trips (as an excuse to visit the port cities where his men did his dirty work and collect payments and issue orders), will be at the grand opening of the Aquarium, along with all of the city’s nobility, and some chosen representatives of the halflings community, including the architect and head engineer, a middle-aged halflings named Aaron Burr.

Mr. Burr is very proud and delighted to have been chosen to do this, and he has been paid a “human” wage for his work (as the local halflings would call it).  However, his son, Maudlin Burr, is not nearly as happy or proud.  Maudlin is a _misanthropic halfling_. That’s right, he hates humans, and he is not overly fond of other halflings either.  Resentful of the poor conditions under which the humans of Knoliss make his kind live in, and ashamed of the way his father and other “successful” halflings suck up to humans and emulate them, Maudlin has grown more and more cynical.  He led a delinquent childhood, and then went off on adventures and making his own way, but never making many friends (he has a bad attitude).  He is a mischievous thief, devious and enjoys people to suffer frustration and no small amount of pain (he is not a murderer though).  He will risk the lives of others for his schemes, but he would never plot the death of another (unless they did something directly to him of course).  Maudling loves to steal, but he prefers to take the things that others find precious even if they are not all that valuable, he also is very fond of embarrassing tricks and using rumor, subterfuge and magic to reveal people’s corruption and dishonesty. Maudlin recently returned as an Arcane Trickster (give him levels in rogue and transmuter along with 2 or more levels of the PrC), and began to gather around him other young halflings who had begun to grow resentful as well.  He has collected a group of 5 somewhat loyal halflings youths (make them all low level rogues).  

Maudlin has a plan for the opening of the Aquarium.  As it took years for the huge underground aquarium to be built and stocked, even as a child Maudlin knew about the site, and had access to the site where his father worked.  It was then that he discovered among his father’s schematic designs, that the area directly beneath the aquarium is hollowed out due to tunneling that was done during the great siege when the jagged cliff was created.  While the aquarium would most likely hold (barring an earthquake) with some aid the whole structure could be made to collapse about five feet due to that area of *unstable ground*– not enough to risk crushing everyone to death, but enough to half-bury and hinder people to allow him and his new gang to come in and leap from rubble to rubble picking the rich crowd clean.  Of course, the fact that the many of the great tanks will stretch and burst, areas will flood and many sea beasts both mundane and exotic will be free to die or eat or both.

Maudlin wants nothing more than to embarrass and discredit his father and destroy the testament to ostentation and hubris of the Aquarium.

The Aquarium itself is a bi-level set of wide halls and chambers built around metal tanks with stone supports, and thick panes of glass.  The halls are honeycombed and one kind wind their way in many different ways to view the different exhibits.  The main hall is a combination trophy room and a view of the shark tank (put an advanced shark in there) – there is where the opening ceremony will take place – and where most of the people will be when (and if) the collapse happens).  However, other small groups of people will be scattered throughout the maze-like aquarium.  The GM should choose creatures and set up rooms for possible encounters during the chaos – where the PCs (or the paladin (see below)) might have to fight monsters, animals or same monsters or animals or save guests at the aquarium.

It is up to the GM when he wants to have Argenia arrive.  She still suffers from a form of arrogance and has gotten use to using her frightening appearance and the taboo of her infectious disease to help intimidate those around her.  She will force her way in to confront Dorminaster and take his amulet.  However, if the collapse happens while she is there she will see it as a further test from Ra and will make sure to help everyone she can, healing people, helping to pull them out of rubble or defend them from beasts.   However, she will not “waste her time” to save any beasts.

*How to Involve the PCs*

Here are some possible hooks:

-	Dorminaster hires bodyguards.  He knows his lieutenants have been dying one by one up the rank.  Someone is out to get him.  He cannot afford to let his underworld thugs protect him openly so he hires the PCs to guard him for a week, and part of that time coincides with the opening of the Aquarium.  (see also “the secret thugs” below”)
-	The party was hired to deliver the last beast to be put into a tank from one of the port cities and was invited to the opening in thanks.
-	The GM could have some previous adventure involving pirates and smugglers give them a lead that brings them to Knoliss, unknowingly seeking Dorminaster (but likely seeking him out for aid due to his scrupulous reputation).
-	A PC halflings could be visiting a relative in Knoliss.
-	The GM could use Maudlin as the source of some random prank against the PCs in an earlier encounter – they come seeking him.
-	If the party happens to be traveling to Knoliss from the east they could pass “the old battlefield” and see the encampment of all the victims of the Red Wasting Disease Argenia has collected and perhaps seek to give them what aid and comfort they can.  The encampment is on the edge of the dark piles of rubble, and some folks have taken up residence in the shade of stone making them vulnerable (unknowingly) to undead attack. This could be an important test, because Argenia would see them and perhaps see how they treat the unfortunate, which could color how she reacts to the PCs later at the aquarium. Note: This hook can also lead to an additional encounter (see below).
-	The party could be meeting some informant, nemesis, or potential employer here on totally unrelated business.   The person in question arranges it, not knowing the chaos would ensue (This one is my favorite).
-	A druid in the party could be sent by her order to check over the conditions of the aquarium and see how the animals are treated.

[B[The Old Battlefield[/b]: If the party does spend time among the plagued folks, they might get drawn deeper into the rubble area by an attack of ghouls and/or zombies.  It will be an interesting test of PC resolve and morals and mettle to see how much they are willing to risk themselves to save the lives of folks who are already doomed to die (esp. if there is a risk they might contract it).  Regardless, if they follow the undead deeper into the rubble they might uncover and entrance to a tunnel that leads into the hill and up to the hollowed out area.   If the party were to hunt undead deep enough they might find the area and figure out the possibility of collapse (but only if they have visited the aquarium (or know well where it is) and a PC makes an Engineering skill check (or related check) against DC 18.

*The Collapse*: Maudlin plans to use the _stone shape_ spell.  He has discovered a spot at the right center of the main chamber of the aquarium (right at the base of the shark tank) where if softens and moves the stone it will cause a collapse of the floor in this and in three adjacent chambers, and causing great amounts of water to pour into a lower hall and chamber and cause several walls and glass to crack, which will release more water.  The shark tank will begin to leak water increasing amounts immediately and in six rounds will burst flooding the room with about four feet of water and releasing one or more sharks into the frightened crowd.  Maudlin will wait for the Lord-Mayor will be making a speech at the front of the chamber to cast the spell, or will do it after three or more rounds of combat if Argenia gets there, very happy to sow even more chaos.  Maudlin has boots of levitation to keep above the collapsed ground and water, and will blow a whistle to call his roguish companions to the pickings.   The young halfling thugs are milling around the entrance, upon hearing the whistle they will push past the crowd outside and enter and attempt to close the doors behind them (leaving one behind to guard the door).  (Note that this could put the PCs in immediate conflict with these halflings if they are trying to secure the exits to get the injured out.  However, these halflings are much for toe to toe combat and will flee if faced with opposition.  Those confronted at the door will flee back out, and those confronted in the aquarium will seek out Maudlin for aid and advice.

The GM should determine dramatically who is trapped under rubble, how difficult it is to free them and who might be knocked unconscious.  The Lord-Mayor should be knocked out, with his personal guard (make it two low to mid-level warriors) trying to get him free and protect him from harm or theft.   

Dorminaster, Argenia and Maudlin should not be trapped in rubble.

As for the PCs, if in the main chamber they should all be knocked prone by the collapse and allow a reflex save (DC 13) to avoid being pinned under some rubble. Failing means the trapped person takes 2d4 points of damage (half if the save is successful).

_Ythriss’fushan_ is the Lord-Mayor’s official huntsman.  He is a lizardfolk ranger (R7/N), whose main concern will be the animals.  He will be doing what he can to save any that he can – and in addition extract his revenge against any he might think is responsible for the carnage.

Walking through the rubble lowers all movement by half, and hustling requires a Balance check against DC 13 or fall prone.  In areas where the water is four or more feet deep (shouldn’t be more than five feet deep anywhere) characters can also try swimming to get around.

*The Secret Thugs*

Hidden among the crowd at the aquarium are three rogues in Dorminaster’s employ.  They are there to guard him (even if the party was hired to).  They are disguised as minor nobility from a nearby city (and have a legitimate invitation), and take the form of a husband and wife, and another “unrelated” noble.  They all have poison and daggers and will seek to slay Argenia and anyone else who threatens Dorminaster as surreptitiously as possible.   If the PCs come into conflict with any of these thugs, this might be a clue that something is not on the up and up, and may help to reveal that Dorminaster is a criminal mastermind.  These secret thugs should have a fighter level or two, but mostly rogue levels (maybe give the “wife” levels of wizard or sorcerer instead of fighter), and make them about equal level to the PCs (or one higher each) so that if the party is separated while fighting monsters and trying to save people, these foes will present a real threat.   If using the hook involving the PCs chasing down leads on pirates/slavers/smugglers they should have some tattoo or scaring that links them with the guild or organization the party (and Argenia) are hunting.

*Utter Chaos*

As is probably clear from all of the above, the main scene in Aquarium will be utter chaos.  An important image to keep in mind is “disaster movie”.  The attendees at the Aquarium’s opening should be screaming and crying and begging for help.  Some people will be trying to find or help loved ones (or if servants of nobility trying to help their masters), while others ignore or trample the trapped or injured in order to escape.  The trick is to create an atmosphere where the PCs cannot help to help everyone at the same time – perhaps forcing them to join forces with Argenia – or witness a noble ignoring the pleading of his trapped manservant in order to make for the exit – while they are busy fighting a giant squid that has grabbed up three children, etc…   

Argenia will help trapped or injured people as a priority over getting Dorminaster, but she will still try to keep tabs on him and take the amulet from him.  Of course, he may use the amulet himself as a means of escape of things get sticky for him (this is very risky for him – so he will only use it if he thinks he is likely to be killed or arrested). 

After having stolen his fair share, and caused what extra mischief he could get away with to the PCs and other attendees, Maudlin will gather up his gang and use one of the access tunnels used to drain water from the tanks to climb down to the honey-combed tunnels beneath the Aquarium and that lead down to “the old battlefield” – of course, he will have to sneak past lots of undead –and this might make for a great scene or series of encounters if the PCs give chase.  Knowing the area well, he will try to lead the PCs to the dens of ghouls and escape in the ensuing confusion.

*Conclusions & Resolutions*

There are lots of things going on here, and like any good adventure (as far as I am concerned) there lots of possible consequences for the City of Kholiss, Dorminaster’s criminal operation, and the gathered plague-bearers outside of the city – among other things.  

If Argenia gets the Amulet she will return to the old battlefield once things have calmed down and under control (she does not want to be captured or killed) and begin to bring groups of plague-bearers to the Positive Material Plane.  It is totally possible that due to her inability to communicate, the PCs may chase her down back to the battlefield, not knowing what she plans to do in an attempt to retrieve the amulet.

Even though he loves nothing better than causing mayhem, Maudlin knows better than to stick around and he will soon flee the City (leaving behind his gang – they’d only slow him down).  The party could soon be hearing rumor of other destructive pranks and robberies in other cities and towns – and link them up.

Of course, it is possible that an epidemic of the Red Wasting Disease could result from all of this, including one or more PCs becoming infected requiring that they seek out a cure for the disease.  Or if using the Amulet themselves in the search for a cure, could become lost in the planes – beginning a series of inter-planar adventures.

The party could help Dorminaster slay Argenia, but later uncover the truth of the situation and be forced to handle it themselves and dismantle the criminal organization.

If the PCs help Argenia to slay Dorminaster or take his property, they may find themselves on the wrong side of the law, and having collected some powerful enemies, as assassins will be hired to take them out by the corrupt wizard (if he lives) or his surviving lieutenants.

The plague-bearers themselves could become a civic problem, and if Argenia is killed they will not know what to do with themselves, perhaps causing the Lord-Mayor to take drastic action the PCs may not agree with.

The old battlefield itself might be home to an adventure among the undead, and recovering artifacts (not capital ‘A’ artifacts – just old stuff) and treasure from the time of the war.

------------------------------

*A Final Note on Levels & Such*:  I see this ideally as being around a 7th or 8th level adventure for the PCs.  Dorminaster should be about 12th level, and Argenia should be 2nd level fighter (for them extra feats) and an 11th level paladin.  Actually, make her whatever level you need for her to be a “bad ass”.  I love this image of a bandaged warrior with a face covered with filthy bandage, wielding a sword like few can.  She should also have several potions of bull’s strength and endurance to overcome her debilitating disease.


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## el-remmen

There ya go - sorry about the length - but I am pretty damn proud of this monstrousity - it might be one of the best scenarios I have ever written period - and I think it is definitely my besy *Iron DM* work ever.


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## Rune

Roughly 15 minutes left, Wulf.  Cutting it pretty close...


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## Wulf Ratbane

Misanthropic halfling
Unsteady ground
Amulet of the planes
Aquarium
Battlefield
Diseased paladin

*OVERVIEW*
The adventurers are hooked into this adventure by a powerful but otherwise seemingly insignifant item, the *Amulet of the Planes*. This particular Amulet is an intelligent item, created originally as a cursed item, but eventually awoken to sentience-- and a conscience. The amulet seeks now to redress certain wrongs for which it feels responsible (to wit, leaving folks stranded on various planes), and like any intelligent item worth its salt, is happy to use the unwitting PC's as its agents.

The adventure can be sprung on PCs of any level, though their ability to use _plane shift_ and other such magic on their own can impact how they perceive the amulet’s value when it is first discovered. It will also be helpful if the party has access to _legend lore_ or bardic knowledge, either through their own party members or through hired help.

Placing the amulet in their possession is left to the DM. Once the PCs have this item, the (rat bastard) DM can unfold the adventure upon them at his leisure. You may need to take steps to keep the players from out-and-out selling the amulet (see below).

Final note: Certain game effects/descriptions have been updated to 3.5.

*DISCOVERY*
The first likely interaction the PCs will have with the amulet is in trying to discover its powers. The center of the amulet is a stone of jet black with golden specks, but those who stare long enough will begin to see the image swirl, like the center of a constellation. This may give some clue to the amulet’s powers. 

_Detect magic_ reveals powerful conjuration (teleportation) magic (due to the innate _plane shift_ power of the amulet). An _identify_ spell will reveal that the item’s most powerful power is _plane shift_.

In addition to revealing the command word and the basic function of the amulet, a bardic knowledge check or a _legend lore_ will also reveal the following odd couplet:

_This the Eighth Scion's twisted opus,
Conceit of success, now seeks redress._

In truth, this couplet is all that the amulet wishes to be revealed at this time. A second inquiry at this time or later, if gleaned by another method—if they used bardic knowledge the first time, require *legend lore* the second—may  reveal another snippet:

_Lion-Heart, ravenous, stripped, caught;
Set all to rights and gate is wrought._

*USING THE AMULET*
The first time, perhaps even the second time that the amulet is used, make sure that you require the intelligence check to use the amulet successfully, and furthermore make sure that you make this roll yourself, in secret. It is suggested that you “arrange” for the amulet to work flawlessly a time or two. Ere long the amulet will start to awaken again and assert its will on the PCs.

Once the amulet begins to awaken fully, it will take the PCs to their first unexpected destination. The character holding the amulet will feel a powerful empathic sadness—and with a Sense Motive check, perhaps a bit of guilt?—as soon as they arrive.

*RAVENOUS*
 Instead of arriving at their expected destination, the amulet will take them on a little detour. It is time for them to meet the *diseased paladin*.

The PCs suddenly find themselves on shifting, cracked, red and black earth. The wind howls deafeningly in their ears, whipping them with wind and hot ash. There is no sky; only grey. And all around them, as far as the eye can see, corpses stretch off into the distance, mostly mummified—there are no scavengers here to remove the dead.

The PCs should realize fairly quickly that they have arrived on the *battleground* of Acheron. 

After a few moments, the players may Spot a figure rising slowly to its feet not far from their position. This unfortunate soul was one of the early victims of the cursed amulet: A paladin who hoped only to find battle against evil. For him, the amulet provided a one way trip to Acheron. There were enemies aplenty here to fight—both living and dead; there was precious little to eat. The paladin succumbed eventually to hunger; and from that desperation to cannibalism. Thus (perhaps unrighteously) stripped of his paladinhood by this outrage, he eventually succumbed to _ghoul fever_.  The paladin is tall, gaunt, covered in filth. His armor hangs in tatters; his weapons are pitted and rusty. The rampant lion on his tabard is nearly obliterated with gore.

The diseased paladin no longer has any of his paladin abilities, and he is essentially a fighter. Fortunately, the addition of the Ghoul template, in conjunction with his high Charisma, makes him a formidable foe. The save DC for his paralysis is 10 + half his level + his Charisma bonus—and remember that the Ghoul template should add Charisma to his already impressive total. In addition, the terrain favors him. Spellcasters should have to make Concentration checks to cast spells with a verbal component. The shifting ash beneath the characters’ feet counts as *unstable ground* and requires frequent Balance checks to avoid falling down when moving at over half speed.

You can decide here on the amulet’s goals. The most straightforward approach is to simply have them slay the paladin and consecrate his corpse, giving him a proper burial. If they fail to slay the paladin, or fail to give him a burial to suit the amulet, they may soon find themselves right back in the same place again to finish the job. The amulet will bring them back here until it is satisfied—and its empathic abilities will show anger and frustration the longer it takes. As a twist, you may wish to require the players somehow “cure” the paladin, or at least return his soul to life. The paladin will thank them and may even join them, if they have caught on to the fact that the amulet is pursuing some greater goal of vengeance and can explain this to his satisfaction.

*FOR RAT BASTARDS ONLY*
The DM has the option now of sending the PCs on a “Quantum Leap” like crusade to right as many wrongs as the amulet chooses. The amulet should grow in sentience and in power as the PCs adventure—at some point it may even begin to communicate telepathically or through speech, instead of merely empathy. The amulet will definitely seek to impose its Ego over its wielder, and may even have a _dimensional anchor_ power to help enforce its will and pursue its special purpose, seemingly indefinitely.

The players may enjoy these occasional side jaunts, or they may seek to rid themselves of the amulet. Remember, the amulet is not only cursed, it is a powerful magic item in its own right, and will do everything in its power to enforce its will.

Only one task, if completed, will satiate the amulet, unlocking all of its powers along with all of its cooperation and gratitude.

*THE WIZARD BEHIND THE CURTAIN*
Through further investigation, the PCs may eventually discover the creator of the amulet. Whether or not they can track him to his remote domain, once prompted, the amulet will take action to deliver them to the proper place.

Depending on the PCs power level, you can make this as hard or as easy as you like. The wizard’s domain is safe on the Elemental Plane of Water. If the PC’s can survive the journey, you may have them journey towards (and through) the wizard’s coral castle. The wizard hates visitors and trusts no one; his castle is amply trapped. 

The inner sanctum is a large, round room with many wooden platforms extending to the top. The entire exterior of the inner sanctum is transparent glass; the ocean inhabitants can be seen swimming around outside. The bottom of the room gives way to an open-topped pool or *aquarium*within the larger aquarium—and it is filled with angry ocean creatures: vicious sea bass or somesuch. 

The wizard is a *misanthropic halfling* by the name of Ix (though we will henceforth simply call him “the halfling”). To be precise, he is the eighth (and most demented) clone of the original wizard—who may or may not have even been a halfling. Other clones can still be seen floating in large tanks here and there on the various platforms, each seemingly smaller and more evil looking than the last. Half the size, twice the evil, as they say.

In addition, there are weapon racks, trunks full of items, tables covered in potions—all cursed. Whether this particular brand of misanthropy was passed on from the first wizard, or is merely a byproduct of many years of cloning, is hard to say. What is clear is that this little halfling prick loves to spread misery. After the players have spent some time suffering at the hands of his traps or cursed items (even if only from the amulet itself) they should be ready to dispense some frontier justice. The halfing wizard is in no mood to parlay with interlopers and will cut loose as soon as possible—from the safety of a _projected image_ or somesuch.

The fight here should be appropriate to the level of the PCs. At the most basic level, it seems to require a wizard capable of creating the amulet, but there is no reason that Ix had to be the original creator. You can scale him to taste. A particularly evil angle is to make him an arcane trickster (why not? It’s a twink class, perfect for halflings…) with enough rogue levels for evasion and uncanny dodge—a little survivability in combat. Beef him up as necessary with golem servants (no living servants—after all, he hates everybody). The halfling will use illusion and subterfuge, free use of Mordenkainen’s Disjunction, though eventually falling back on threats (such as smashing the exterior aquarium and drowning everyone) and pathetic pleading for his life. The amulet will not be satisfied with anything short of his death and at any rate, he will attempt to escape as soon as possible if he is not handled with finality.


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## Wulf Ratbane

I tossed and turned all night wishing I had had just a few more minutes to polish this up. Having finally had a chance to read nemmerle's entry (ok, in truth, I skimmed it... I can barely find time to _read_ that much, let alone _write_ it...) I am feeling better...

But perhaps that is due to my TWO ENNIE NOMINATIONS I woke up to this morning.

Chairman, you can do no harm this morning... 

Nemm, good luck... I hope this one is as close as I think it will be!


Wulf  (still wishing he'd had just a few more minutes...)


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## Rune

Wulf, congratulations on the two ENnie nominations!  Both are well-derserved (although, technically, wouldn't one of them be Andrew Hale's nomination ).

Anyway, good luck in the ENnies!

I'll post judgement in a minute or few.

But first...


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## el-remmen

*waits anxiously*


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## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *Wulf, congratulations on the two ENnie nominations!  Both are well-derserved (although, technically, wouldn't one of them be Andrew Hale's nomination ).*




Actually, technically, it should be BRAD KELLEY and ANDREW HALE on the Best Cover nomination. It's a collaborative effort, as without Brad's mad Photoshop skillz, Andy's b/w illustrator designs would never come to life and POP! like they do!

Looking forward to that judgement... Exposition at the ready...


Wulf


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## Rune

*Round 2, match 2 Judgement*

*Nemmerle vs. Wulf Ratbane*

Whew.  I knew that this was going to be a tough match to judge.  I haven't been disappointed.  In fact, as I begin to write this, I don't even know who the winner is.  I'm hoping I'll figure that out by the time I get to the end.

Where to begin?  I'll start with a general observation about the two entries.  In general, both of the entries provide some excellent encounters, settings, and characters.  The focus of the two differs quite a bit, however, in a number of ways.  Nemmerle's entry, for instance, stays more or less local, while Wulf's spans the planes and, technically, an entire campaign (but not in the same way as Seasong's 2nd round entry did).  Wulf's entry provides an excellent character and wildly imaginative set-up and adds in a good grounding in verisimilitude.  Nemm starts with a focus on verisimilitude and then adds intriguing locals and situations, not to mention the intrigue!

So, I'll just get into it.

Nemm's hooks are much better than Wulf's.  They are many and varied and _each_ is quite good.  Wulf uses the amulet as a hook, which is good, but that, itself, could use a hook.  He mentions that it is up to the DM to get it into the posession of the PCs, which is fine, but it doesn't contrast well with Nemm's thorough hooks.

Both plots make me giddy with glee.  Having the PCs get used by a cursed item with a conscience, as Wulf's scenario plays out, is simply brilliant.  On the other hand, Nemm's thick and complex layering of intrigue and multiple concurrent threads building up to a chaotic crescendo could be quite damning, if handled poorly--but Nemm does not handle it poorly--quite the contrary, as a matter of fact.  He has paid enough attention to the character development and local history, and simple verisimilitude to make it work--and work well.

Nemm provides nice locales; the battlefield and the aquarium are both nice (especially the aquarium, but I'll get to that later).  His characterization is also extraordinarily nice, and the inclusion of a "villain" who is nothing but a very destructive trickster is quite interesting.  Wulf provides an amazing set-up and a brilliant character in the amulet.  I also want to note that his wit is a very nice touch; most of it relies upon his reputation (or history, rather) to deliver, and adds a nice flavor to the entire entry.

Wulf also provides a plethora of options to continue the story after the adventure, specifically if the "Quantum Leap" approach is taken.  It is intriguing to me to see that the single adventure could span an entire campaign in this situation; the final encounter could be a long time in coming.  Nemm also provides plenty to build upon (more, substantially, if less in theory) Intrigue, twists, and subtle intricacies lend a great store of strength to the adventure in this area.

In general, I felt that Nemmerle did a better job of blending the ingredients together in _significant_ ways.  However, when Wulf used an ingredient well, he _really_ used it well.

I'll start with the more disappointing ones.

First, the worst one.  It's the aquarium, and it belongs to Wulf's entry.  This is the only truly tacked-on ingredient of the two entries and, for that matter, the only truly bad one.  In fact, the rest of them are all at least pretty good and fit into the scenarios; it's just that some are disappointing when compared to others (and considering the general quality of both entries in this match, not to mention the fact that this is the second round).

I don't really like Nemm's use of the Amulet of the Planes.  While it works for the scenario, it seems a bit uninspired.  Similarly, I think that Wulf's entry would not be hindered in the least without the inclusion of the unsteady ground.  It's a nice tactical consideration, but the ingredient could have been more significant.

I like Nemm's misanthropic halfling as a character and a secondary (and unrelated) villain.  However, his motivations didn't seem to strike me as misanthropic, so much as psychotic, while wulf's misanthropic halfling was both humorous (it is a halfling, after all) and more strictly misanthropic (no living servants!).

Both scenarios make good use of the Battlefield--providing interesting flavor for intriguing encounters.  I think I like Nemm's more, because it adds history to the scenario and helps strengthen the whole of the adventure.

Both also make good use of the Diseased paladin.  In Wulf's, it is primarily just used as a good encounter, but the fact that the paladin could possibly be redeemed helps things a lot.  On the other hand, I love the character of Nemm's paladin!  A lot of care went into it, and it shows up in someone who could easily be misunderstood and mistrusted.  If I were running the scenario, I'd play up the fact that she looks undead and watch hilarity ensue.

Nemm's use of the Aquarium in conjunction with the Unsteady ground ingredient is absolutely beautiful.  This is the most exciting encounter I can remember seeing described in a long time and is exactly what should find its way into published modules.

But I have to say, I think Wulf's Amulet of the planes is the best character I've ever seen in a tournament--it is an awakened cursed amulet with a conscience, but also a definite agenda.  Brilliant!

Okay, so who wins?  Honestly, I still don't know.  So I'm going to make a quick decision here and stick with it.

Wulf, your scenario is a work far superior to many a winning second-round entry; it has moments of brilliance that cannot be downplayed and is a very strong entry in its entirity.  There is also a sense that you've earned a chance at the championship after so many strong entries in tournaments--some I would have judged more favorably than the judge of the day.

However, Nemmerle's entry has a stronger foundation and falls together more tightly, so I'm going to have to go with it.  This has been a very close match, but in the end, I award it to *Nemmerle*.  Nemmerle will advance to Round 3 to face Seasong, but first Wulf advances to Round 3 to face cool hand luke for the third-place honor.

Congratulations, both of you, for raising the bar withoutstanding entries and good luck in Round 3.


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## Wulf Ratbane

I can't disagree with much of that. Nemm did make better use of the ingredients, and I knew that the aquarium was my weakest ingredient. On a par with his amulet?

As for my own entry-- I wish I had more time to polish it up. The aquarium was undoubtedly the weakest ingredient, and to bring it more into focus I had intended to use unstable ground once again-- hence the rickety wooden catwalks up the tower, causing the PC's to interact more directly with the aquarium beneath them (and those vicious sea bass!). I think the battleground was actually fairly well used in my entry, as it is a logical and reasonable explanation for the impossibly diseased paladin. (It's also a blatant nod to a pretty excellent ghoulish movie...)

A bit more of my usual luxurious exposition would perhaps have disguised some of the perceived flaws-- there is much for the reader to extrapolate on his own in my entry. I have seen many an entry disguised with just such luxurious exposition... which leads me to...

I'll take lightful's lead and now direct my exposition thusly: How I would have critiqued nemm's entry?

I will say that I think nemm's entry suffers from a common Iron DM occurrence-- lots and lots of luxurious backstory exposition, but ultimately not that much for the PCs to do. As I read his entry, it struck me that most of the cool adventuring in the story was being done by his diseased paladin! It was the paladin tracking down the cure, the paladin helping the sick and dispensing justice, the paladin finding the amulet and breaking up the criminal ring, etc.

The ingredients were well used in the setup, but there wasn't as much opportunity for the PCs to interact with the ingredients. It may be an ongoing weakness of my entries, but I feel it's important that the PCs personally experience each of the ingredients.

When you boil down nemm's entry, most of the backstory ends up being ultimately irrelevant to the brief encounter that the PCs have with his entry. They are merely passing through this complex plot he's woven-- they walk across the stage only at the end, and they end up as the most irrelevant ingredient in the entire mix.

But nemm, congrats are in order... you have achieved all that was required: pleasing the fickle whims of our judge... 

Now I'll just have to console myself with my TWO ENNIE NOMINATIONS!

Wulf


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## Rune

Oh, and Wulf.  I forgot to include this in the judgement, but your steadfast refusal to be a whore is commendable.


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## el-remmen

Hey Wulf!  Great job!  You had me sweating there.  Your Amulet of the Planes was absolutely brilliant - and that idea alone was worthy of Master Rat Bastardry.

It is a testament to personal taste that in my opinion upon reading Wulf's entry I thoughtt, "A-ha! My misanthropic halfling is better than his!", but Rune liked Wulf's better - I just thought mine had more motivation - a mix of shame and embarrasment and redirected anger from class-conflict in the city he grew up in.  Also, Maudline Burr is the name of a misanthropic halfling I played long ago in an FR campaign.  He was a psionicist/thief that hated everyone, especially other halflings - he was a sarcastic and mean-spirited and selfish bastard.  Also, misanthropy most often takes the form of broadly hating not only people, but their systems, hierarchies and conventions - a prankster type character would take great joy in using those very conventions to make people's lives miserable.

I had linked up all the ingredients, but the battlefield - so I had to tack that on and then retrofit it into the scenario - it was the last thing I added - At first the idea of diseased paladin threw me for a loop - paladin's can't be diseased! - but then the image came to me - a holy warrior wrapped in bandages and endangering infecting others with his disease - I also wanted to emphasize that a paladin has more to worry about than chasing down bad guys- but have a duty to be charitble and kind and compassionate to the less fortunate.

Once I started thinking about how much work would go into building an Aquarium - I began to think how in modern times the government might sometimes award contracts for things to be built in under-developed areas to help them become more successful - so it only made sense to put it in the halfling ghetto, and make it link up to the character of Maudlin.   

The unsteady ground was a hard one, too - but once I had put the Aquarium in that part of the city, the idea of the Aquarium collapsing and tanks breaking and beasts being free to die or to eat people was a great scene in my head - also pinned and/or injured nobles make for easy pickings for a thief.

While I'll admit that Dorminaster having the Amulet of the Planes was not developed well, I really liked the idea of it being used in the curing of a bunch of sick and dying people. 

As you can tell, I like putting PCs in moral quandaries where there is no 100% correct choice and let them figure it out - also chaotic scenes where there are a lot going on and the environemtn comes into play for combat or taking action in general makes D&D games a lot more fun than the typical comabt scenes I see in published adventures or cons, where a climactic scene (to use the term loosely) is in some throne room or out on some field or whatever, and people just line up and fight and trade spells until one side drops or surrenders.   I prefer situations where, for example, a PC that has fallen prone and is stunned might be in danger of drowning in two feet of water - or they have to choose between chasing after the person responsible for the carnage or helping innocents - but like in real life being unable to help everybody - how does one choose? 

I have to say, I am really proud of this entry and I think it is easily my best IRON DM entry and might even be the best scenario I have ever written - the kind of thing I would want to develop and expand and publish if I had the time and someone else had the interest.


----------



## el-remmen

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> I'll take lightful's lead and now direct my exposition thusly: How I would have critiqued nemm's entry?
> 
> I will say that I think nemm's entry suffers from a common Iron DM occurrence-- lots and lots of luxurious backstory exposition, but ultimately not that much for the PCs to do. As I read his entry, it struck me that most of the cool adventuring in the story was being done by his diseased paladin! It was the paladin tracking down the cure, the paladin helping the sick and dispensing justice, the paladin finding the amulet and breaking up the criminal ring, etc.
> 
> The ingredients were well used in the setup, but there wasn't as much opportunity for the PCs to interact with the ingredients. It may be an ongoing weakness of my entries, but I feel it's important that the PCs personally experience each of the ingredients.
> 
> When you boil down nemm's entry, most of the backstory ends up being ultimately irrelevant to the brief encounter that the PCs have with his entry. They are merely passing through this complex plot he's woven-- they walk across the stage only at the end, and they end up as the most irrelevant ingredient in the entire mix.
> 
> But nemm, congrats are in order... you have achieved all that was required: pleasing the fickle whims of our judge...
> 
> Now I'll just have to console myself with my TWO ENNIE NOMINATIONS!
> 
> Wulf *




Wulf, I'd have to disagree - the PCs get to interact with the _aquarium_, the _diseased paladin_, the _misanthropic halfling_. the _unsteady ground_ all at the same time - with a possibility of interacting with the _Amulet of the Planes_ right there as well - only the _battlefield_ was not directly connected - but even if the party didn't go there at fist - the "clean up" of the main encounter would certainly lead them there to find out about Argenia from the other plague-bearers.   

Also, I see that one encounter as the kind of thing that would take all of a six hour session or maybe even most of two sessions to play out.

For me the ideal adventure is a just a place or series of places with characters with good stories and motivations for the PCs to interact with that would happen without their being there - especially since a "generic adventure" by definition cannot be tailored to a party's specific situation by the author, only by the person running the game. 

Also, a good adventure should be a jump off point for lots of issues and loose threads the PCs can follow and try to tie off (which your entry does excellently) - and a rich backstory is needed to accomplish this - the chaotic encounter in the Aquarium is not the end, but the beginning - or with proper campaign preparation it _could_ be the end  - but in that case the PCs will have be tracing down and/or interacting with backstory stuff before ever getting to Knoliss.


----------



## Talix

I think both of your entries were very good.  

Congrats nemm, now let's move on to the final two contests!


----------



## cool hand luke

wulf, hate to do this, but my schedule sucks for the next week.

I'm flying out tomorrow at 3:00 for a wedding across the country, and I won't be available again till next monday.  sorry.

two excellent entries by the way!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *Wulf, I'd have to disagree - the PCs get to interact with the aquarium, the diseased paladin, the misanthropic halfling. the unsteady ground all at the same time... *




Hmm, I was afraid you'd seize on that one portion of my critique... It really is secondary to the primary criticism that your backstory sets up the players to arrive (by whatever hook) as mere witnesses to the chaos that is about to ensue.

It doesn't strike me as an adventure so much as a single encounter, and one that really doesn't involve the PCs at all. They just don't have much of a personal stake in the plot that you have set up.

Your entry seems like the _beginning_ to an adventure-- if I were a PC here, this entire scene would play as the HOOK. I'd enjoy it, sure; I'd be befuddled at the time, and, yes, probably curious after-- but as judge, I'd have to say, "Well, the stuff that comes after is where the adventure _really_ is... So why isn't it in the entry?"

This isn't a criticism of the backstory at all... As I said, it is a wonderful setup that uses the ingredients more compellingly than I did-- I just have a difference of opinion as to what constitutes an adventure and what constitutes... uh... a whole lotta backstory to justify one encounter. You're telling a wonderful story but the PCs seem secondary to the whole setup. I just don't think the PCs are going to care-- they want to DO interesting things, not discover _ex post facto_ what the hell just happened to them.

Just my .02 cents! It's not every day I get to throw a little nemmerlesque criticism on the nemm himself, so forgive me. 

Wulf


----------



## cool hand luke

I was just wondering, how much experience do yall have, what's your background in this area?  I saw someone was nominated for a couple of ennies, and, once I found out what those were, was really impressed.  Have you guys published stuff like that in the past?  how much gaming have you done?

I've played off and on for about 15 years.  I just started dming for the first time last fall, and have never written anything that wasn't a school assignment until now.


----------



## el-remmen

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> You're telling a wonderful story but the PCs seem secondary to the whole setup.
> *




I guess in my view of things, 1) the PCs don't always have to be the "stars" of the adventure, and 2) the job of making an the action of an adventure matter to individual characters is the job of the individual GM - as I said in my last post - an author of an adventure cannot tailor it to PCs he does not know about - there are lots of ways for a PC to be more personally involved in the action - I just think the scope of an adventure cannot really hope to include that without just a whole long list of _ifs_. . . 

You are right, though - there is a whole hell of a lot of back story for what essentially is one long encounter-  but I am back story king - I imagine a scene and then I figure out the story behind that scene - and the world works and moves with or without the PCs and often being meddlesome adventurers find themselves involved in things that do not concern them at all (except in so much as the possible hooks involve them).


----------



## el-remmen

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *I was just wondering, how much experience do yall have, what's your background in this area?  I saw someone was nominated for a couple of ennies, and, once I found out what those were, was really impressed.  Have you guys published stuff like that in the past?  how much gaming have you done?
> 
> I've played off and on for about 15 years.  I just started dming for the first time last fall, and have never written anything that wasn't a school assignment until now. *




Well, I haven't really gotten anything published - except a small sample setting section for _Four-Color to Fantasy_.

I had been working on a guide to my campaign setting, Aquerra for a couple of years - but after writing a few hundred pages - editing and consolidating and cleaning it up and hammering out detailed section became overwhelming what with a full-time  job and other interests.   Though I do hope to write and publish some other stuff in the future.

I've been playing D&D for about 20 years - and DMing in one way or another for most of that - though I would say my real DMing chops did not start kicking in until around '95.  Before that I ran decent campaigns, but nothing extra special.


----------



## seasong

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> I was just wondering, how much experience do yall have, what's your background in this area?  I saw someone was nominated for a couple of ennies, and, once I found out what those were, was really impressed.  Have you guys published stuff like that in the past?  how much gaming have you done?



No published credits. I've toyed with the idea, but really, publishing requires a large committment of time and energy, which I'm not yet ready for.

I do plan to be published eventually, but I have to decide on the One Thing To Commit To first. If I'm going to put that kind of effort in, I want it to be something cool.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I guess in my view of things, 1) the PCs don't always have to be the "stars" of the adventure, and 2) the job of making an the action of an adventure matter to individual characters is the job of the individual GM...
> 
> I imagine a scene and then I figure out the story behind that scene - and the world works and moves with or without the PCs and often being meddlesome adventurers find themselves involved in things that do not concern them at all  *




We're actually in quite a bit of agreement on that point... as evidence I point you to some of my other LOSING entries (such as the Quicklings...) I am not sure which judge it was who felt it was inappropriate to have such moral quandaries and adventures that move regardless of the PC's... hey waitaminute! Wasn't that YOU!?


----------



## el-remmen

Can you link me up to that round and judgement?  I would have to reread it to remember what my reasoning was - it must have been some other reason that that didn't work for me - or else I was drunk


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *Can you link me up to that round and judgement?  I would have to reread it to remember what my reasoning was - it must have been some other reason that that didn't work for me - or else I was drunk  *




What matters is that's how I _choose_ to remember it.


----------



## Kid Charlemagne

If the halfling's name is Ix, shouldn't he be the _ninth_ clone?


----------



## Pbartender

Kid Charlemagne said:
			
		

> *If the halfling's name is Ix, shouldn't he be the ninth clone? *




Only if you are playing Paranoia.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Kid Charlemagne said:
			
		

> *If the halfling's name is Ix, shouldn't he be the ninth clone? *




Nope... One original, eight clones-- making him the ninth iteration.


----------



## Kid Charlemagne

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Nope... One original, eight clones-- making him the ninth iteration. *




D'oh!

Shoulda known better than to try and trip you up on something like that....  

Hey, are you going to GenCon this year?


----------



## Rune

Wulf Ratbane and cool hand luke, let me know when you two will be available for the next match.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

ehhh... Now is as good as it's gonna get. 

Not terribly enthused about a 3rd place competition but I always enjoy the crafting part... 


Wulf


----------



## cool hand luke

I could go any day this week.  For me it would be best if ingredients were posted around 5:00 eastern.


----------



## Rune

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *ehhh... Now is as good as it's gonna get.
> 
> Not terribly enthused about a 3rd place competition but I always enjoy the crafting part...
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Wulf, the suggestion was made some time ago by Nemmerle, and I think it's a good one.  This allows for some recognition of the finalists who don't win the championship.

Because most people don't realize how hard it is to just get through round 2, it can be easy to forget the really good competitors that don't quite make it. 

It'll be entirely up to the 3rd place finalist whether he wants to brag about it, or not (say, in a sig ), but, if you'd prefer to think about it a different way, look at it as you would a bronze medal from the olympics.  Nobody complains when their country gets one of those.

But that's all secondary.

This also allows us to see another entry from the  two competitors who were bumped in Round two.  Which is good, because, by that point in a tournament, the competitors are usually (as it is in this case), quite good.

Also, I get to use more of my _easy_ ingredient lists.  

PS--maybe the title, "3rd place winner" is akward.  How about something like "tertiary finalist?"


----------



## Pielorinho

Screw that -- we all just want to see some more Wulfian goodness!

Daniel


----------



## Rune

Wulf, if you're good to go today, at what time?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *Wulf, if you're good to go today, at what time? *




OPTIMAL timing would be 9:00 PM EST-- but if luke needs it by 5:00 PM, I can do that, too. It just means I won't have the luxury of working on it tomorrow _after_ work instead of _during_ work. 

I make no promises for Wulfian goodness. It is up to the judge to both challenge and motivate me. Little digs and backhanded slights about my inability to get past that so-tough second round are not enough... "A" for effort, though.


Wulf


----------



## el-remmen

I can go tonight (8pm?) for the final OR Wednesday evening. .


----------



## cool hand luke

how about you post it at 5:00 for me, but don't make them due till 9:00 tomorrow?  (no access at home right now, so the 9:00 is a killer for me)


----------



## Rune

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> OPTIMAL timing would be 9:00 PM EST-- but if luke needs it by 5:00 PM, I can do that, too. It just means I won't have the luxury of working on it tomorrow after work instead of during work.
> 
> I make no promises for Wulfian goodness. It is up to the judge to both challenge and motivate me. Little digs and backhanded slights about my inability to get past that so-tough second round are not enough... "A" for effort, though.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Hey, now...I meant that sincerely--your match in particular was very, _very_ close.

As for challenging you, I'll do my best.  As for motivating you...that's what the time-limit's for.

Cool hand luke, is 5:00 as late as you can do?  If so, CHECK IN and I'll post ingredients at 5:00PM EST TONIGHT!

If Wulf is okay with it, I'll extend the Deadline to 9:00PM EST, but that technically gives you a 4-hour advantage (except for the not-having-internet-thing).

In either case, both of you CHECK IN!


----------



## Rune

Seasong, can you go tonight?


----------



## cool hand luke

I can do 5:45 eastern at the latest, I just need to get the ingredients before I leave work.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *Hey, now...I meant that sincerely--your match in particular was very, very close.*




Don't feel bad, we all make mistakes in judgement from time to time.

My next entry will be an Homerian epic... The PC's, of course, will merely watch the figurative Fall of Troy... but-- goddamn!-- the _backstory_, man, wait till you see the _backstory!_


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Consider me checked in, by the way...


----------



## Rune

I need to hear from Wulf before I can extend the deadline.  If I don't hear from Wulf, then I _will_ still post the ingredients at 5:00PM.

Wulf, I'll give you until 9:00PM TONIGHT to okay the extension, otherwise, the deadline will be 5:00PM TOMORROW.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *I need to hear from Wulf before I can extend the deadline.  If I don't hear from Wulf, then I will still post the ingredients at 5:00PM.
> 
> Wulf, I'll give you until 9:00PM TONIGHT to okay the extension, otherwise, the deadline will be 5:00PM TOMORROW. *




Extend away... It's okay with me.


----------



## Rune

*Match for the tertiary finalist: cool hand luke vs. Wulf Ratbane*

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)  The first six are mandatory ingredients.  You can choose to include any, or all, of the following nine ingredients, but their inclusion must be done carefully.  Their good use will only count in your favor in the case of otherwise equal entries, but poor use will count against you, no matter what.

_Primary ingredients:_
*Zealot
Stormy seas
Sibling rivalry
Thistles
Dusty road
City state*

_Secondary ingredients:_
*Astral plane
Long hallway
Crystal ball
Empty space
Throne
Fey
Titan
Non-combatant monks
Wonderful dream*

You have until exactly 28 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck.


----------



## cool hand luke

darn it guys, I just got a call, tonight it seems my wife committed me to dinner with the in-laws for my mom-in laws birthday.  could we delay this thing exactly 24 hours?  if wulf can't do that, that's fine, my entry just won't be as strong.


----------



## Rune

Sorry, cool hand luke, I've already posted the ingredients.

Good luck, despite the set-back.


----------



## cool hand luke

is that our ingredient list?   it says winnepeg vs. season?


----------



## seasong

I can't go tonight or tomorrow, due to prior committments... and things don't look good for the remainder of the week (weekend included, when Austin is descended upon by relatives), either. About the best I can offer is Wednesday night, and I won't have a lot of time for my entry even then.

If we can wait until next week, I'll be in much better shape.


----------



## Pielorinho

*Re: Re: Round 1, match 2: WinnipegDragon vs. Seasong*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!
> 
> Good luck. *




In the "Do as I say, not as I do" department, you may want to consider editing the title of your post .

Daniel
an enthusiastic spectator


----------



## Rune

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *is that our ingredient list?   it says winnepeg vs. season? *




Fixed it.  I quoted a past ingredient list to have a template ('cause I'm lazy).


----------



## Rune

*Re: Re: Re: Round 1, match 2: WinnipegDragon vs. Seasong*



			
				Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *
> 
> In the "Do as I say, not as I do" department, you may want to consider editing the title of your post .
> 
> Daniel
> an enthusiastic spectator *




Sheesh.  I'm not judging myself.


----------



## Rune

seasong said:
			
		

> *I can't go tonight or tomorrow, due to prior committments... and things don't look good for the remainder of the week (weekend included, when Austin is descended upon by relatives), either. About the best I can offer is Wednesday night, and I won't have a lot of time for my entry even then.
> 
> If we can wait until next week, I'll be in much better shape. *




Nemmerle, will you be available next week?  I really don't want to wait longer than that, but if you two are both able to do this next week, I don't have a problem with it.  Otherwise, we'll do your match Wednesday.


----------



## el-remmen

I prefer Wednesday - as I hate when these things take too long. . . but if he absolutely can't do it - or if it will seriously cut his time down to less than the what two or so hours it takes to write one of these up - then I guess we'll wait for next week.


----------



## Rune

Seasong?  How about it?

(As a side-note, it _always_ took me much longer than 2 hours to write up an entry.  I could _never_ have done one of the old tournaments with a one hour time-limit.  Maybe I'm just not as talented as other folk.)


----------



## seasong

The closer to Wednesday morning, the better for me. I should have at least two hours Wednesday night, but if I can have it tickling the back of my brain during the day, that's better.

I don't mind doing Wednesday night - next week would just be better for me.

Since there's two preferences for SOON , consider me checked in for whenever on Wednesday y'all decide works best.


----------



## Rune

Okay.  I'll hold you to that.


----------



## seasong

No prob. This may be an exercise in (what passes for) compact writing for me


----------



## el-remmen

Shall we say Wednesday at noon?  

Oh, and it has never taken me more than 3 hours to write an entry (maybe not in a row - but if you add it together).  The reason we went from 1 hour to 4 hours to 24 hours was simply because it was hard to arrange the time itself - not to give people more time to write the entry - though obviously that was one of the side-effects.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

nemmerle said:
			
		

> *The reason we went from 1 hour to 4 hours to 24 hours was simply because it was hard to arrange the time itself - not to give people more time to write the entry - though obviously that was one of the side-effects. *




Yep... I need a good, 20, 22 hours of procrastination before I sit down to write. 

I got nothin...


----------



## cool hand luke

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I got nothin... *



ditto here.


----------



## seasong

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Shall we say Wednesday at noon?



Sounds fine.



> Oh, and it has never taken me more than 3 hours to write an entry (maybe not in a row - but if you add it together).  The reason we went from 1 hour to 4 hours to 24 hours was simply because it was hard to arrange the time itself - not to give people more time to write the entry - though obviously that was one of the side-effects.



If you aren't counting time in a row, then my first entry in this contest only took 2 hours, and that while I was handling spreadsheet data requests for my "real" job. But the 21 1/2 hours of doing other stuff and letting my subconscious at the problem prior to buckling down and starting to write were undeniably a part of the quality of the post (my second entry was a fluke of the highest order, so I can't properly include it in the taxonomy of how Iron DM works).

Heck, I'm the fastest typist I know. Once I sit down to write, it takes me hardly any time at all.

And please don't take me wrong - I'm not kvetching that I'm going to lose, or that this is unfair. This is _IRON_ DM, not Vaguely Difficult DM, and I plan to beat you into the mud . These were my original words: "If we can wait until next week, I'll be in much better shape."

But I should have two hours to rub together tomorrow night, and I can buy a pretty decent entry for that. And ingredients at noon = 8-10 hours that my Muse will have the ingredients in her pretty talons before I have to start writing. I have faith in Her .


----------



## Rune

I was figuring active development into my estimation.  I always spent a significant chunk of time actively figuring out the relationships, cool images, and whatnot.

Without that, my entries would be nothing.  I maintain that I still couldn't have done the 1-hour tournament, and probably not a good entry for a 4-hour tournament.

I'll freely admit it--I'm probably the slowest competitor to ever win a round of Iron DM.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *I'll freely admit it--I'm probably the slowest competitor to ever win a round of Iron DM. *




Yes, but you make up for it with the rush-and-bungle judgements.


Wulf


----------



## seasong

_Editted for clarity. I had nothing worth saying, and now that's clear._


----------



## cool hand luke

O I think wulf made that vicious comment in all earnestness.  He really thinks rune is doing a horrible horrible job.


----------



## Greybar

_He's a mean one /
Mr. Wulf_

(to the tune of "The Grinch")


That's it, I want to see brains fly.  chop chop with the entries.

John


----------



## Piratecat

Hey, watch me pull on my moderator's hat...

Iron DM works because the competitors agree to abide by the judge's decision. Don't agree with the judge? Tough. Didn't have enough time to polish your entry? Tough. 

Ultimately, it comes down to "who impresses the judge more," and someone has to lose. If you don't like the judge's decision, then you should address it with them privately, but you SHOULDN'T make everyone else uncomfortable by continually referring to it or by being insulting. That's just being a bad sport. I learned this myself the hard way in a previous Iron DM, and it was a painful lesson to learn. 

One other thing is worth noting.  The fact that one person will lose doesn't invalidate that competitor's design skill or competence, especially in incredible rounds like the ones we've been having. It just means the judge liked the other person's entry more, and had reasons for deciding that way. Unfair? Maybe, but that's the way things are.

If anyone cares to discuss this further, please email Rune or myself about it instead of discussing it here. No more snide comments, please - but trashtalking the other competitors is still okay.


----------



## el-remmen

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *but trashtalking the other competitors is still okay.   *




Well, someone had better teach seasong how to do that - because if his lame insults are any indication of how he can string words together then I have the final round in the bag. . .. 

feh. Amateur.


----------



## seasong

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Well, someone had better teach seasong how to do that - because if his lame insults are any indication of how he can string words together then I have the final round in the bag. . ..
> 
> feh. Amateur.



This from a man who doesn't understand basic punctuation.

And what insults? I've been pretending I have real competition for the final round, not moaning about the lack. 

-seesaw


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> *O I think wulf made that vicious comment in all earnestness.  He really thinks rune is doing a horrible horrible job.*




Umm, no. I was joking. Tempest in a teapot, I hope. 

I would never trash talk my competitors, cause that _would_ be bad sportsmanship-- but the judge, faceless and above reproach, seems a fair target-- in Iron DM anyway. It's not aimed at Rune specifically any more than it's aimed at nemmerle (in fact I am pretty sure I was blaming him for incognito's judgin').

Hope I haven't seriously offended anyone... 

I enjoy ineffectual grousing about all-powerful entities above the reproach of mere mortals... See my entry to follow...


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

> _Primary ingredients:_
> *
> Zealot
> Stormy seas
> Sibling rivalry
> Thistles
> Dusty road
> City state
> *
> _Secondary ingredients:_
> *
> Astral plane
> Long hallway
> Crystal ball
> Empty space
> Throne
> Fey
> Titan
> Non-combatant monks
> Wonderful dream*




*---- DEUS EX MACHINA ----*


DM's BACKGROUND
This adventure is set in the world of Greyhawk and features a dispute between the gods Hextor and Heironeous. Otherwise, the entire adventure should have a very "greek" feel to it, with the gods meddling in the affairs of mortals-- and vice versa. The adventure is best suited to a low to lower-mid level party (so as to necessitate sea travel, as opposed to _teleportation_...).

Many years ago the king of Petros (a thriving *city state* located on a rocky isle off the coast of the mainland) was aging, in failing health, and without an heir to his Coral Throne. In desperation he turned to the gods for help, making offerings of equal value to each of the gods in hopes that just one of them would answer his prayers. Deliver a son to him, he swore, and he would build a towering temple on the isle in honor of his patron. In time, his prayers were answered by Heironeous-- but Hextor, always at odds with Heironeous, was not to be outdone. 

The old king died just weeks before the birth-- of his _twin_ sons. The king had left explicit instructions, but this turn of events was unexpected and unaccounted for. The poor queen was advised, for the good of the line, to choose one of the twins as heir and simply do away with the other-- and no one would be the wiser. She chose one of her sons, giving him over to the safekeeping of her maids, and cast the other into the sea. Wracked with guilt, she followed soon after.

Decades passed. Under the tutelage of Petros' learned priests, the boy has grown into a man, and is now prepared to ascend to the Coral Throne. Upon his ascendancy to the *Throne*, he will personally consecrate the new temple, the construction of which he has watched for his entire life.

Heironeous and Hextor watch with more than a passing interest in a temple in an out-of-the-way city state. A bit of their life force resides in the twins, after all, and the outcome of this drama is a matter of honor for these duelling deities.


HOOKS

1) The party's cleric receives orders from his church to head to Petros to witness the consecration of the new temple.

2) The party is travelling overseas and the gods intervene directly (proceed to Encounter One).

3) _One of the party members-- preferably a cleric or paladin of Heironeous or Hextor-- is the lost twin_. This option will obviously require the DM to rearrange the fate of the lost twin and the story of the nixies-- but it is the most entertaining option for prime rat bastardry (especially if the wrath of the spurned god sinks the entire island ere the adventure is complete).

IMPORTANT FINAL NOTE:
It's deliberately ambiguous, in the following adventure, which twin survived, and which did not; and as far as the PCs are concerned, it is not clear just which god is working FOR them and which is working AGAINST them. In fact, the PCs may never quite figure it out; the only thing that should be clear to them is that they are pawns in a divine game sprung from some sort of *sibling rivalry*. 

_The experienced Wulf Ratbane reader may note with some satisfaction the usual disdain for the machinations of the gods._

*ENCOUNTER ONE: STORMY SEAS*

As the party sails to Petros and enters deep seas, the lookout will warn of a sudden squall that is heading their way-- black clouds and enormous waves. The captain will order the PCs below decks, but those who choose to stay above decks will see a terrifying sight. As the squall moves over the ship, lighting will begin to flash around them. The storm is the work of a *Titan*, an enforcer of the gods; though he approaches invisibly and under a _persistent image_ of a storm, clever PCs will see his legs churning up waves, his arms throwing lightning bolts. The titan will have little difficulty sinking the ship in a matter of rounds.

Once in the water, the PCs should make alternating Swim checks (stormy water) and Will saves (DC15). Those who fail either roll sink beneath the waves.

As the PC's sink, they may see a large group of nixies swim towards them. The nixies will use their _water breathing_ ability (in addition to the _charm person_ ability they have already been using) to get the PCs to calm down and accompany them to their city on the bottom of the sea.

*ENCOUNTER TWO: GUESTS OF THE FEY*

The visit with the nixies should be pleasant for the PCs and an opportunity to Gather Information. The nixies will tell the PCs the background story, if they do not already know it; furthermore they will be able to tell them that they remember the babe falling into the sea many years ago-- and how they saved its life. Good Diplomacy or Gather Information checks and the nixies will admit that the babe stayed with them until he was a young adult; VERY good checks and they will inform the party that the boy, now a man, is back on Petros, disguised as a wandering *zealot* and preaching against the gods.

Like all Fey, the nixies cannot hide their glee and satisfaction at the tale of another foundling/changeling gone awry.

After the Titan moves off (the ship, burned to the waterline, sinking past them), the nixies will help the PCs make it to the island. You can present the PCs with a small challenge here, perhaps clearing another (more intact) wreck of sharks or sahuagin, making repairs, raising it to the surface, etc.

*ENCOUNTER THREE: THE DUSTY ROAD*

From the beach, the cliffs rise sharply, though there is a dusty road that leads to the high-walled city-state of Petros. It is clear that, short of flying, the only way into the city is to follow the road. The PCs, having foiled the previous attempt on their lives, must now contend with another.

A Sphinx will either settle on the road in front of them or confront them in the sky and force them down. The Sphinx is quite talkative, for a divine assassin; it will quite pleasantly inform the PCs that it has been sent to prevent them from entering the city. But, as always, there is a catch-- answer the riddle and the Sphinx will spare them. The Sphinx should be sufficiently powerful (with added HD or class levels, if necessary) that there really is no better option.

The Sphinx will stretch its neck and limbs a bit before asking the riddle. A Sense Motive check may reveal that the Sphinx seems to be casting about for a suitable topic for the riddle. A Spot check may notice her glance resting on the scrub and brush that line the avenue-- only one plant seems able to thrive in the dusty road. A Knowledge (nature) check may reveal the name of the nearby plants-- but, these are all hints. A proper Rat Bastard will feel no need to give his players hints for such an easy riddle:

*The cautious and careless are rewarded with pain; the bold grasp me safely and now: speak my name.*

If the PCs get the answer correct, the Sphinx will let them pass. If they do not, they get eaten (or at least as close to eaten as the Sphinx's statblock, and the DMs own guilty conscience, will allow).

*ENCOUNTER FOUR: THE ZEALOT*

The PCs move up the road to the city. As they approach, they will see the glimmering spire of the tall temple towering over the city. The city is large; lots of people; plenty to see, do, buy, sell-- whatever the PCs have in mind. Gather Information here in the city can reveal the backstory-- though remember that here in the town, there has only ever been ONE heir to the throne. There is a sense of nervous excitement about the upcoming coronation. A good check will reveal that a wandering Zealot has been speaking out against the gods, even (it is rumored) against the heir himself. A bit of legwork and the PCs can meet the zealot.

The zealot is a cleric, paladin, or "holy warrior" about 2 levels higher than the party average-- enough to contend with them briefly, but not enough to overcome them. He is a canny conversationalist and will listen eagerly to their story, trying to determine where their affiliations lie. If the conversation goes well and he thinks he can trust them, he will reveal (lying if necessary) that the heir is a follower of Hextor (or Heironeous, depending on the party's mood) and that the city is doomed if he rises to power and completes the consecration of the temple to Hextor (or Heironeous...). He will urge the party to help him-- his voice has fallen on deaf ears amongst the populace here, clearly the gods have sent them to his aid, etc. If they can capture, abduct, or kill the heir, disaster will be averted. If they can even do so little as to disrupt the consecration ceremony, even this might be enough... though eventually the heir will have to be dealt with...

*LOOSE STRINGS*

Lots of backstory and plenty of loose strings. Which twin survived? Which god is working against the PCs? Was the Titan merely orchestrating a much needed encounter with the nixies? Was the Sphinx sent to stop them, or was it merely a test of their worth-- and if so, was it a test of their wits or their swords? Is the zealot the lost twin, and is there more than sibling rivalry and the fate of the throne at work here?


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## Rune

Not that I'm holding it against you, Wulf, but it would be slightly easier on me if future entries only list the secondary ingredients that actually appear in the scenario.  (Got that, cool hand luke?)

Again, to be clear, I'm not finding fault, it's just something I wish I'd thought to mention earlier.

Edit--cool hand luke, if you post your entry before seeing this, don't sweat it.  I still don't want you to edit your post, once you've submitted it.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Sorry... my incredibly well-woven and indispensible secondary ingredients are three: Throne, Titan, Fey.


----------



## cool hand luke

3rd place contest:  wulf vs. cool hand luke

Primary ingredients:
Zealot
Stormy seas
Sibling rivalry
Thistles
Dusty road
City state

Secondary ingredients utilized:
 Long hallway
 Non-combatant monks


Disclaimer:
I know in a previous Iron DM there was an issue with plagiarism.  I'm coming right out and saying that the basis for this setting is from the roots of one of the ingredients.  THe zealots were a jewish sect, that opposed first greek rule during the time of the Maccabbees, and then later the Roman occupation.  These were offset by another branch at the other end of the extreme, the Essenes.  These were a group of ascetic monk-like people that thought that by exemplerary living, and self denial, they could return God's favor to Israel.  They were the ones at the Qumran community that wrote the dead sea scrolls.  Many of the ideas and ideals contained here are rooted deeply in the judeo-christian beliefs.  Whether this is not original enough, or to plagiaristic, is up to rune, and the other readers discretion.

For more on these groups, see
http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/society/A0853309.html for zealots, and
http://www.essenespirit.com/ for the essenes

NOTE:  I created a new god here to give him the flexibility to exactly fill the role I needed.  With minor tweaking, you could put in just about any good aligned diety, and the adventure would probably be much more enjoyable. 

BACKGROUND:
The city of Jezreel has long been blessed.  Ever since the Hamanites walked out of the great desert, and there small, but divinely guided army took over Jezreel.  For centuries, the wealth, power, and mystique of the city-state grew.  There crops rarely failed, drought never seemed to strike there country.  Vastly superior armies were rebutted time and time again from their walls. Jezreel was soon the center of culture and learning for much of the world, extending it’s power not by the might of arms, but by economic and political might.  The city state held their autonomy for over 500 incredibly prosperous years. Besides there incredibly fortune, the people of jezreel were noted for there total devotion to there god, Eloweh.  He had chosen the people of Jezreel as his own, and it was his blessings that insured there prosperity.

 During this time, many non-believers were attracted by the wealth and prosperity enjoyed by the people of Jezreel.  Over time, they brought there own religious ideas with them.  At first, worship of any other god was strictly prohibited, upon pain of death, for Elowey was a jealous god, and tolerated no rivals.  Over time, this strict ban on God’s was lessened, gradually at first, until 2 generations ago, Elowey was one of dozens of gods worshipped in the town.  

As this tolerance of other deities spread through the city, there prosperity began to decline.  First was a small drought.  This was followed a few years later by a swarm of insects that devoured much of there crops.  These early warning signs were shrugged off as mere coincidence.  After centuries of bumper crops, the grain reserves were more than enough to make up for a bad year.  However, these droughts, famines, and plagues continued, as did there tolerance and open worship of other gods. 

This gradual decline continued until the city state of Jezreel was no longer the shining jewel of prosperity it had once been, in fact, it didn’t stop when Jezreel had been reduced to the status of any other city.  The plaques, famines, raids, and riots all continued, until Jezreel was seen as cursed among all cities.  By this time, the theocracy had long since been overthrown, and the state was “ruled” by a coalition of powerful businessmen, none of whom worshipped Eloweh.


RECENT HISTORY:  
In the last ten years, the city has fallen into great decay.  The poverty is reaching near epidemic proportions.  Two very public groups have started preaching in the streets that the cause of this misery is the peoples unfaithfulness, and that the only way to return to glory is to return to the true worship of Elowey.  The two groups could not be more different in there ideals, or there methods of promoting this return to piety.

These two groups are founded by twin brothers, Ishacar and Isan.  They were the grandsons of the last reigning high priest, the only person still truly worshipping Eloweh by that time.  He was overthrown and murdered, but not before he could convince the twins that the only way to restore glory was to return the city to worshipping Eloweh.  Unfortunately, they were young when he died, and they had no one to school them in true doctorine, which had long since been lost.  The brothers devoted themselves to studying the ancient teachings of there god.  They rooted through the ancient holy texts, and historical accounts of their forefathers, trying to gain insight on what needed to be done.  They both agreed that they must return the people to worshipping eloweh, but not the means to do that. 

Ishacar noted that throughout the history of Eloweh, the god had shown incredible wrath at the worship of other gods.  He was a truly jealous god, and would freely strike down those that opposed him, or his people.  This was exhibited time and again in there army’s victory over vastly superior forces, and the holy wrath with which he struck down other gods.  Ishacar concluded that it was only by relying on the strength and vengeance with which Eloweh had struck down former adversaries could true worship return.  He felt that if he could rally the people around him, and drive out the infidels, they could regain there former glory.

Isan, studying the same texts, focused on a different aspect of the god.  He noted that throughout the history, Eloweh had shown extreme mercy upon his people, showering them with untold blessings.  He believed that they must return to this philosophy of mercy.  He founded an order of ascetic monks.  They worked exceedingly hard in the fields, growing what grain they could, and giving it to the poor.  They devoted themselves to the elimination of suffering for the people of the city.  They take in orphans, give out food, try to treat those afflicted with disease.  Isan is convinced that if the public sees the good works done by his group,  they will realize what a loving god Eloweh is, and return to worship him.

Each group has gained a small, but devoted following.  Some say they can see a slight turn in there masters faover, a lessening of the drought, etc, but this might just be a coincidence.  Both groups have found a great secret, a way to possibly contact there god directly, in his own plane.  Neither groups knows the other have this knowledge.  

Needless to say, the groups don’t get along.  They don’t have open hostilities, yet, but they aren’t exactly inviting each other over for tea and scones either.  



SCENE ONE: Flagelatting fanatics.

The party approaches Jezreel, the country-side looks worn down.  They pass many abandoned farm sites, and miserable looking withered crops stand in the fields.  As they crest the hill, they look down upon the city, and a strange site unfolds before them.  From the top of the hill the party can see three groups of people milling about a barred city gate.  On the right side of the road, a group of about 100 people are walking, and some crawling, in a large circle.  They are all dressed in robes, identical except for there color.  A faint hint of chanting can be heard drifting up over the hill towards them, coming from this group.  The second group is opposite them, on the left side of the road.  It appears a rag-tag group of people, violently protesting.  Some of them are throwing rocks in a futile gesture at the city walls.  Angry shouts can be heard from them.  The third group is a collection of wagons, farmers, traders, and etc, that are gathered a few hundred yards up the hill from the other two groups, milling around aimlessly, and looking with great disdain at the other 2 groups.  

As they approach the groups close enough to see clearly, they will find that the group on the right of the road, marching, or crawling in a large circle, are stripped to the waist.  Each of the holds a large bundle of thistles in his hand, and is beating themselves on the back with them.  Thousands of dots of blood have welled up on each back, mixing strangely with the purple from the crushed thistle flowers.  A few of them seem to have passed out cold.  They are chanting, “Forgive us our sins, oh most high, forgive us our transgression, most holy one, look once again with mercy and love on your people. Allow us to be your loving hand to our neighbors”  

This is contrasted by the group across from them.  They are on the edge of a riot.  They are all yelling screaming at the top of there lungs, obscenity laced threats against the infidels now ruling the city.  The city guards standing atop of the walls seem remarkably unplussed about all this, as if this is nothing new to them.    As they approach, they will notice that both groups bear prominent displays of the same holy symbol, a triangle embedded in a square.  They same outline is presented in both groups, but the make up is as varied as the groups.  The self flagellating groups symbols has a square made up of branches of wheat, with an inner triangle composed of a spoon, a hand reaching out in help, and a thistle branch.  The more violent group’s symbols are made of an outer square of swords, and an inner triangle of a smashed idol, a lightning bolt, and a rope tied into a noose.  


PLAYER INTRODUCTIONS/HOOKS

The hooks presented depend greatly on whether or not the party has a cleric or paladin of Eloweh in the group.

If the party DOES have a cleric or paladin of Eloweh:

When they approach the 3 groups, the collection of annoyed farmers, and traders seeking entrance into the city will treat them very brusquely.  If asked about the two groups, the nod toward the party member, and say, “ask him, he’s one of those quacks”

The guards at the gate,  if they can recognize him from his deities symbol, will refuse to let him in.  

Both of the two groups will approach the character as soon as they see recognize him, he will be treated with respect, and a hint of suspicion. Any show of divine power totally erases this skepticism and turns it into enthusiastic support. It has been a long time since anyone with true faith and divine abilities came into town.  Both groups will explain how they are fervently working to restore the true worship of Eloweh, and how the others is a hopeful misguided attempt, that is bordering on blasphemy, and will ask the cleric to help them restore Eloweh to his correct status.  The groups there will ask them to come with them to talk to their leader.

If there is not a holy man of Eloweh in the group, all three groups will react much differently.  The farmers will be fairly conversational, since they are bored and tired of waiting, explaining how the two groups want to convert everyone to there crazy old god, and that the gates will be closed until the zealots, which usually happens after an hour or so, and the drunks they dragged out of bars sober up.  Most of the people in that group are not actual members of the Ishacars, but some of the destitute they have whipped into a frenzy.  Sizing up the party, the will inform them casually that the ruling council has been putting out feelers for adventurers such as them, but they don’t know why.  If they approach either one of the groups, they will immediately be evangelized too.  Depending on the group, either with an good old fashioned fire and brimstone, screaming at the top of their lungs, and pious outreachings, attempting to convince them that there god of mercy wanted nothing more than to improve there lives.  I don’t envision either approach being very effective to your standard adventurers.  If they do seem open to these ministrations, they will be asked to come with them, back to meet the heads of there order, so they can receive further instructions.

If the party does not follow either the zealots or the pacifist monks,  in a few hours, the crowd will disperse, and the guards will open the gates to the cities.  The guard will stop them on the way in, eyeing them carefully, and saying, “we don’t see many like you here, now that we have fallen on hard times.  Our leaders have been searching for some such as you, for possible gainful employment, would you meet with them?”

When the party meets with the leader (an old rich trader, who has gotten wealthy despite the hard times) he explains how that the groups are getting a little out of control, both pose a danger to the town by there over-zealousness.  There are rumors floating that one or both has found something that could fundamentally shift the power structure.  He doesn’t know what it is, but asks them to investigate.  He says that either group will be willing to take them in if they show interest in becoming believers.  He says he will pay them if they can thwart both of the groups plans, and keep it a secret from the public.  He makes it clear he has no problem with religion, just that the fanaticism is leading to more hardship in these already difficult times.


SCENE 2:  Meeting the fanatics

If the party winds up with the flagellating monks,  they are brought to a compound a few miles outside of town.  There are no walls, and the buildings there are simple in the extreme.  They few poor huts are surrounded by fields, most of which grow wheat, corn, and other food grains, but one large one is planted with nothing but thistle. Only the thistle seems to be growing well. They are introduced to a man wearing a red robe, the only one in that color they have seen.  He introduces himself as Isan, founder and leader of the group, which sought only to return the gracious blessings of Eloweh to the people, by showing them acts of love as much as they were able.  He will point out to the fields, and explain how what little food they can grow is sent to feed the poor, to the largest building on the grounds, which is a crude hospital for those with disease, and to a group of orphaned children they have adopted.  He further explains how Eloweh is all merciful, and they hope that his favor will return to them by showing mercy.  He quotes large amount of scripture to support his standings, He goes onto say how his brother, Ishacar has a following that focus’s quite incorrectly on the judgment and righteous anger of god, but that this will surely not bring the blessings of there god back.  

Ishan then explains that he thinks they have a way of  returning God’s grace to the people.  Through the study of ancient texts, they came across an artifact of great power, called misericordia.  ( a knowledge religion check  will let the party members know that this means ‘mercy” make it harder for a non eloweh worshipper) The artifact is an open hand, held out in a helping gesture. This artifact opens a direct pathway to the god’s home plane.  They hoped to contact there god, and find out what penance must be paid to restore them to his graces.  “two of my most devout followers have gone through, and not returned, but that they were simple farmers, not a devout holy warrior such as yourself. He then asks them to face there god, and bring news of what is needed.  (any cleric or paladin worth his salt should jump at this chance!)  If this is the case, skip to scene 3.

If they are trying to steal the object, it is kept in a room underneath the altar in there makeshift temple.  The room is heavily guarded with traps designed to hold prisoners, but not to hurt them.

If they go to the zealots first, the scene will be much the same.  They will be introduced to Ishacar, who is sitting in a hastily built log cabin in the forest.  The walls are covered with writings screaming out god’s wrath from various religious texts.  They will be brought to ishacar, who will do the same song and dance number about how they must use righteous wrath to restore Eloweh, and how his brother is so incredibly misguided.
He too will tell how they found an artifact, this one called Ira (a hand closed in a fist dc to know meaning is wrath)  and say that he needs them to find out who must be laid low as vengeance for Eloweh..  

If there is a cleric of Eloweh in the group, they will be continued to be treated with the utmost respect, and even looked upon as living saints. 

At any time during either of these speeches, a follower of Eloweh can make an easy knowledge religion check to realize that neither side is aware of the whole truth, that Eloweh is not either or, but both.

If the parties also try to steal this piece, it of course will be guarded quite, well, zealously.  

If the parties manage to get both of the pieces, as soon as they are brought within 10’ of each other, they are drawn slowly together by an unstoppable force.  The two hands fuse together, and, in a brilliant flash, all of those within 30’ are transported to scene 3:  (could be a lot of fun if they are stealing one of them, and bring a whole group of others along with them!

Scene 3:  Contrado Fidelis
When the party arrives, either by allowing Issan  or issacar to transport them there, they arrive at the edge of a huge ocean, they are standing on top of the first row of sea dunes.  The sky is a vivid purple color, filled with red, roiling clouds.  The sea is tossed and turned by waves of incredible proportions.  The dune is cut by a road that they are standing on.  The road reaches down to the beach, where a small pier is stationed, the only visible thing in any direction on the beach.  A small boat sail boat is tethered there, with the words Contrado Fidelis written across her bow (knowledge religion check,  faithful deliverer)  it is inconceivable how the huge waves and howling wind haven’t torn both the boat and the ship apart yet.

In the other direction the road stretches seemingly endlessly across a flat plain.  No building are in site.  A few hundred yards down the road, the dunes end, and fields take over, the fields go on forever in both directions, they are filled with huge versions of the thistles seen previously, these thistles are easily 9 feet high.

From where they are, they can see in the dusty road many sets of footprints, of every known, and some unknown race.  As to why they are not blown away by the howling wind, who knows.  Half of the footprints lead to the dock, the other half up the road.

The pc’s have 2 choices, the boat or the road.  If they choose the road, they start walking along the road, it appears to be a small, dusty road, when they reach the thistle patches, they notice a number of prints wandering off to either side, and disappearing into the thistles.  The futher they walk the fewer prints are on the main road, as occasionally they head off into the thistles.  If they stay on the road, the scene is monotonous, they simply don’t seem to get anywhere,  If it wasn’t for the beach fading behind them, and the lessening of the winds, it would seem they aren’t moving at all.  

If they walk into the thistles, they will first be hampered in there movement, as the thistles are incredibly thick.  Maximum speed is 20, each 20’ causes 2 points subdual damage from the numerous scratches received.  After moving 80’ into the thistles, they abruptly stop (even though there was no break visible from the road)  Ahead of them is a huge temple, emblazoned with the true symbol of Ehoweh over 2 massive doors. (next scene)

Should they choose to go towards the boat, they notice, that, despite the savage wind blowing into land, the sail is full, going the opposite direction, and, that while it moves with the wave action, it’s not near as violent as it should be in the huge waves.  If they cast off, the boat takes off like a locomotive, slow at first, simply plowing straight through the large waves, something no boat it’s size should do.  It continues, building speed, till it is nearly flying, only skimming the top of the water.  As it goes out, the storm dies down, and soon they come to a craggy island.  All that is visible is a small pier like the one they left, and a steep staircase cut in the rock.  At the top of the stair case is a massive temple.

SCENE 4:  
Uproaching the temple, they see 2 massive doors, one black door with “my wrath” written over it, one white door with “my mercy”.  A large on the floor in front of the door is an inscription, saying “Know ME truly and thou shalt choose wisely”

Hopefully this will provide a great quandary for the party.  

However, upon opening the door, they will find it doesn’t matter.  Inside the door is an eternally long hallway, 20 feet across, both doors open up to the same place.  The floor is a swirl of black and white, there are no visible doors on either side.  Shortly after the party walks through, they will feel the temperature beginning to drop.  Regardless of whether they walk, or stay still, it gets cool, then cold.  Soon it is raining, then sleeting, then snowing.  When the snow starts, they can hear a faint voice ahead of them, but can’t make out the words.  The snow intensifies,  soon they can here not only a voice, but shuffling footsteps.  Soon they can here the voice is crying for help, it’s so cold, so very cold.  An old woman, incredibly bent with age approaches, dressed in thin rags, and shivering uncontrollably, she approaches them, barely able to walk.  She begs them for a piece of clothing to warm her.  If the party gives her anything to warm herself,  she immediately thanks them, then turns, and, with alarming speed, disappears into the snow.  The snow then lightens, and the temperature starts to clime.  As the snow stops, they come across a large lump in the snow, the first break in the monotony of the hallway.  Under it is the body of one of the Ishacar followers, frozen to death.  He is wrapped in a cloak, and holding a sword.

As they progress down the hallway, there is suddenly a  noise of many approaching feet running at them.  Soon a group (scale size and level to meet your pc’s need, should be a decent challenge) of people can be seen running at them.  They are carrying some thieves tools, and large golden symbols of Eloweh  They have the symbol of olidamara.   Upon seeing the pc’s, the immediately attack.  ( make them tomb raiders of olidamara, just for effect)

Shortly after dispatching the thieves, they come across another body, this time of one of the non-combatant monks, he is kneeling as if in prayer, and has a single dagger stuck in the base of his skull.


As the pc proceed, they can just make out the end of the hall, and something standing against an other wise blank wall.  
As they approach they can  see that it is a person, standing as if at attention.  He wears the armor of a paladin,  and has a terrible wound that has ripped his skull open, his shield bears the faded image of  Eloweh’s symbol, over this has been written the following

By HIS grace, I rose to power
By my pride, I fell to HIS wrath,
By HIS Judgement, I am here condemned
By HIS grace, I can be restored.

(a knowledge History, or religion check will let the character realize that the person before them is Mobram, the founder of the worship of Eloweh, who the god first promised his blessing too, but that, in his pride claimed it was him who was bringing the blessings to the people, and was struck dead for his blasphemy.)

As soon as they a get within 40 feet, Mobram starts towards them, drawing his sword.  Mindlessly he attacks them.

When the PC’s “kill” Mobram, he falls down, his eyes for the first time move in there sockets, He looks at them, and a smile crosses his lips, 
“Please, don’t let this latest death of mine be in vain, I have know paid my debt in full, and his Judgement is passed, by His mercy, I may be restored.   Remove this curse from me, so I may be redeemed.  If the party does anything to bless him, from a bless spell, remove curse, dousing with holy water, he is exhonerated, if not, the wound they inflicted start closing up, and he slowly looses sentience, until he rises to attack them again.  Repeating his pleadings if they kill him.

CONCLUSION

If they succeed in redeeming Mobram, he rises, and questions them as to why they seek Eloweh.  Upon hearing them, he explains that both wrath and mercy are of the essence of the god, a juxtaposition that cannot be explained, and only by restoring worship to the true Eloweh, not the half aspect each had worshipped can they return his favor to them.

He will escort them back to the doors of the castle, where they will be taken back to the original position they started in.

If at anytime, they figure this out on there own, they can return to there world by exiting the castle.

And now the real fun, and real RP begins!!

Now the PC’s have the task of  convincing both groups that the true elohim is what they worshipped, and what they thought blasphemous.  No easy task.

Of course, if they went to work for the leader of the city they have a choice to make,
Either use the knowledge to let the council know that nothing needs to be done, as long as the groups keep worshipping there half gods, they will remain powerless, or, try to unite the two factions.







There, now I will get down of my allegorical e-soap box.


----------



## cool hand luke

dang wulf, very nice, I need to learn to be less verbous.  great story in a little bit of typing.


----------



## Rune

*Judgement for Tertiary Finalist*

*cool hand luke vs. Wulf Ratbane*

Cool hand luke.  You're not afraid to push the envelope--and that's a very good thing in the Iron DM tournaments.  I must say that I'm not sure how I feel about the inclusion of links to essentially serve as background information for your entry.  Fortunately, your entry didn't need it, and I was familiar enough with the era and those groups anyway.  I didn't follow the links.

I really like how you set up the scenario to mimic history from a pseudo-biblical perspective; the Old Testament is a very fine source of fantasy inspiration.  Your entry falls safely within the realm of "allusion," as opposed to "plagiarism," so have no worries on that matter.

I have to say that I was dissapointed with how linear the entry was--actually, both entries were pretty linear, but cool hand luke's also has a tendency to railroad, as well.  It's actually a problem he's struggled with throughout the competition.

Wulf's hooks, on the other hand are generally nice, given the tone of the adventure that they are introducing.  That's not to say that his entry is spotless.  While I love the feel of the story--greek epic combined with greek drama--The actual inclusion of a _deus ex machina_ in the first encounter, while thematically appropriate, is not going to go over well with most groups.

However, I _really_ love the flavor of his scenario.  Many of the ingredients suggested a greek flavor, meaning I was expecting to see it.  Failing to surprise me on that point, could be risky--if you're going to do it, you'd better do it _very_ well.  Guess what?  Wulf did it _very_ well.  There's a lot for me to say about this, so I'll get back to it.

Wulf's also got a great deal of questions for the PCs to follow up on after the adventure and good questions, at that.  Which brings up a point, I suppose.  A good adventure should potentially be the seed of a good campaign.  Wulf does this very well.

Cool hand luke's scenario is a bit different.  There are a few good plot hooks to pick up on, but the scenario is (or could be) more or less a whole campaign, all by itself.

Both entries use the ingredients fairly well, although I must emphasize that Wulf manages to make all of his ingredients fit the Greek theme very well--even the more generic ones.

I really like cool hand luke's zealot(s).  It's good to see him allude to their historical roots.  The dusty road and the stormy seas are both fairly minor in significance in his entry, but fit the tone well.  The stormy seas, in particular, are a nice image.  The sibling rivalry ingredient is quite nice--Biblical history is rife with tales of sibling divisions altering the fates of lines of people to come.

None of the rest of cool hand luke's ingredients were particularly inspiring, but neither were they actually poorly used.

Wulf's zealot is also very nice.  He's sort of a Tiresias in reverse.  And, not in reverse.  His use of the sibling rivalry is excellent and two-fold.  Like most classical greek literature, the divine is mirrored in the human.  Converting the classical Greyhawk gods into Greek gods, without actually changing their natures, is brilliance that few literary giants would be able to match.  There's little point in going into detail about the other ingredients--they're all well blended into the theme, and none of them are used poorly.

So, let's see just who is *Iron DM Summer 2003's Tertiary Champion*, shall we?

What can I say?

Cool hand luke, you have amazingly good ideas.  But your execution could really use some honing.  If you don't mind a little advice, I'll suggest some areas you should focus on.

Work on developing free-formed, organic adventures; you've got all of the basics you need for this--you're particularly good with setting up political intrigue, for instance--but you then tend to squander it with linear and even railroading scenarios.  Learn to trust players when you're designing.  I want to see you in future tournaments.  I expect to see you do well.  But you've got to refine.  Obviously, you've got a lot going for you--otherwise you'd never have made it this far, so keep on trying.  You've definitely got what it takes to be a champion.

Wulf, my advice to you: is nothing.  You're already championship material.  You've just gotten some unlucky breaks in important matches.  I have no doubt I'll see you win one of these tournaments one day.

On to the matter at hand...

Cool hand luke, I know that this is going to sting a bit, because it has been my downfall in more than one tournament--but your scenario is way too ambitious in scope.  Seasong was able to pull off making a single adventure into a whole campaign, but this entry couldn't do it.  There are a lot of wonderful ideas in here, but the overall adventure needed a good restructuring.

Wulf's scenario, while not absolutely perfect, is as close to a literary masterpiece as I've seen an entry get to.  It's an outstanding work, and in a competition filled with excellent works, that says a lot.  It's a brilliant work, and it should therefore be no surprise that *Wulf Ratbane* wins this match to become the *Iron DM Summer 2003's Tertiary Champion*.

Congratulations, Wulf!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Thank you.


----------



## Rune

Oh, one more thing.

Wulf, that entry is a perfect example of _exactly_ why I wanted to do an extra match to determine a 3rd-place winner.


----------



## Talix

Congratulations, Wulf!  I thought both entries were excellently imaginative.


----------



## cool hand luke

thanks Rune, I really appreciate your time in this, and it has helped me grow.

I knew from the start that this thing was way way way to long.  However, as I said, I'm a theology nut, and 2 of your ingredients hit on a very sore spot with me, one, in fact, I had just done several day research on, and prepared a very lengthy bible study about.  I knew I was biting off more than I could chew, but decided to do it anyway.

My original idea was to have this be much more of a moral dilemna, which of the 3 groups should I help, but that just got WAY WAY WAY to long, and I had to cut it back, which turned it from a nice moral dilemna plot into a quick trip on charlie the choo-choo, or maybe blain-the-train, hurtling down the track, with only one stop at the end


I also thought I was way to heavy handed with some of the allusions.

didn't think that including the links would be a problem, but it was inappropriate.


----------



## seasong

I don't think links are inappropriate - I included one in round 2 myself. However, I _do_ think that the scenario needs to be able to stand up without them, which cool hand luke's did.

My link was to St Margaret, for those interested - but there was no reason in the scenario to care about who she was, or why a monastery was named after her. Everything _important_ about her, I included in the scenario.

Cool hand luke's link was even more harmless - he was linking to the sources he was drawing on in the _disclaimer_, in case there was a question of plagiarism. Not only is that perfectly appropriate, it's the right thing to do given his concerns.

_Edit: One more thing in cool hand luke's defense... the stuff at the end of the link that was used in the scenario is written up in the scenario._


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Thanks, Talix.

I think Rune's praise for my entry is way over the top and gives me way too much credit where it isn't due and not enough credit where it is appropriate. I had hoped he'd call me out on this one. 

So what am I most proud of? That I finally took the meta-game of Iron DM, and the judge's whims, into consideration. I completely whored myself out from the get-go. From the classical epic backstory (that the PCs may or may not ever discover), to the repeated use of deus ex machina-- and hey! I won!

So... It was a bit of a blending of my own preferred style with what I felt the judge would appreciate. An evocative scene or two... Some combat/conflict... A riddle... But these are mere deceptions to fool players like myself.

The PCs _appear_ to have choices, but it really doesn't matter what they do. I even went so far as to admit that right up front-- it doesn't even matter which deity is behind the "hooks" and calamaties that befall the PCs! The adventure is _designed_ not to care. There's a lot of setup, a lot of really nothing at all for the PCs to do, and they are herded onto the stage at the end of the entry, the beginning of the _real_ adventure-- just like the entry that bested me in the round before. The adventure is one long, protracted hook that pulls the party onto the stage at the end. The loose threads? The unanswered questions? In my opinion, the truly satisfying adventure lies in what was _not_ addressed in my entry, in those few lines tacked onto the end.

I am pleased with the entry? Yes.

Is this an adventure that folks will Yoink! and run for their players? Probably not.

Where do I send away for my "I am an Iron DM whore?" pin? 


Wulf


----------



## Greybar

Wow, trying to catch up is getting tougher as the entries get longer. 

Bear with me for a background story then:

When I wrote entries, they were often originally written in a few Memo entries in my Palm.  That's 4K characters per entry - call it 1000 words per memo.  I figured that was a good limit to force me to be concise.  Looking at my old entries on the Palm I see that they took 3 or 4 memos (3-4 thousand words).

By comparison, I wrote a short adventure with all the notes on my Palm.  Everything I needed for a game that ended up taking 3 sessions of 4-5 hours (e.g. character-specific background handouts, stat blocks for all opponents).  That took 20 memo entries - though not all were maxed out to their 4K limit.

Glancing at the last couple entries, I think they're becoming more akin to the latter than the former.  Many of the entries I've ready in this Summer Iron DM have been incredible.  Good stuff.  But is this the direction we want to go?

What I see is a drift towards having contestants write the full adventure that really needs a few stat blocks before being mailed in to Dungeon magazine or submitted to a third-party publisher.

Is that what is desired by the players, judge and spectators?

John


----------



## seasong

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> So what am I most proud of? That I finally took the meta-game of Iron DM, and the judge's whims, into consideration. I completely whored myself out from the get-go. From the classical epic backstory (that the PCs may or may not ever discover), to the repeated use of deus ex machina-- and hey! I won!



Whoring is not the meta-game. It's the only game. Writing for yourself while trying to win, that's the metagame*. Congratulations on achieving both!



> Where do I send away for my "I am an Iron DM whore?" pin?



I've got a pretty decent stock of them, I can lend you one of mine. 

-seasong

* Metagaming, at least as I understand it, is using knowledge or considerations outside of the basic game to influence what you do within the game. The stated goal of IronDM is to please someone with your scenario. That someone is not you .


----------



## seasong

Greybar said:
			
		

> When I wrote entries, they were often originally written in a few Memo entries in my Palm.  That's 4K characters per entry - call it 1000 words per memo.  I figured that was a good limit to force me to be concise.  Looking at my old entries on the Palm I see that they took 3 or 4 memos (3-4 thousand words).



Er... Well, actually, my 2nd round entry, which is the longest I have ever written for any IronDM ever, is just a hair over 4,000 words. It may aso be the longest entry I've seen in an IronDM, too. And Wulf's was a short-n-sweet 1600 words. Most of the entries in this IronDM have hovered around 2,000 words, just like the last two.

I would like to see more sub-1,000 word entries, but those are more difficult to write.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Well, I guess I am saying that, all other things being equal, the entry that pushes the judge's buttons the most should win. I can concede that point.

But just pushing the judge's buttons alone shouldn't be enough to win. 

One would hope that, at some point, the crafting of an actual adventure-- with a plot that actually _engages_ the PCs with things to do: some puzzles, some fighting, some roleplay; with decisions to make and consequences that they can see and feel, etc.-- one would hope that would have some impact on the judging. 

Seems to me that some entries are better off in alsih20's Ceramic DM. That's a-what I'm sayin. If it takes you 4000 words to cough up the _backstory_ but the portion of the adventure that the PCs can actually *interface* with is 5 or 6 open-ended questions, that's a problem, in my opinion.

I'm not saying whoring to the judge is bad. I agree it's an integral part of the Iron DM mystique. I just don't think it should be the primary focus-- are we here to craft adventures, or are we here to see who plays better to the judge? Which has top priority, ya know? Maybe it's me who's off base, I dunno.

I really should take a spin at judging one of these. I'd be curious to see if I can spot the whoring or not.


Wulf


----------



## Pielorinho

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *One would hope that, at some point, the crafting of an actual adventure-- with a plot that actually engages the PCs with things to do: some puzzles, some fighting, some roleplay; with decisions to make and consequences that they can see and feel, etc.-- one would hope that would have some impact on the judging. *




As an observer, I can say that I much prefer object-oriented adventures, and wish more published adventures were written that way.  I hate hate hate railroading, and am not too fond of dungeons.  Give me solidly-defined characters with specific, complex motives; interesting locations; unusual MacGuffins; and let me run with it.  (As an added bonus, it's easier for me to steal piecemeal from such an adventure:  Nem's diseased paladin can plop into my campaign with little adjustment and still be a great NPC).

In other words, I'm all about the backstory.  No adventure survives encounter with the PCs anyway, so it's either a waste of time or a dangerous risk of railroading to set out too specific a timeline.

I don't think it's whoring to write such an adventure.  If you know what kind of adventure the judge likes, you can either stretch your skills by trying to write something different from your normal style, or you can stay with your normal style and not complain when you lose.

In other words, part of the value of the competition is realizing that different people like different toolsets to work with in someone else's adventure.

Daniel


----------



## WinnipegDragon

I just wanted to jump in here and say that I am in awe of all of my fellow competitors in this tournament.  It was my first, but I'll be damned if it's my last 

I must admit I was a bit sullen at losing in the first round, but having re-read the judgement, I have come to agree with many, if not all, of Rune's points.  I've been silent on the thread since then, but I have enjoyed reading it, and I am now feeling very pleased that I, at least, made the decision tough for Rune when I faced Seasong.

So, bottom line, when is the next Tourney?!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> * If you know what kind of adventure the judge likes, you can either stretch your skills by trying to write something different from your normal style, or you can stay with your normal style and not complain when you lose. *




Just a quickie, for the record, in case I wasn't clear enough about it yesterday:

I _always_ complain. Even when I am having a great time (as I am here) and even when, largely, I actually agree with the side of the argument I am taking sides against.

So it isn't unusual for me to stay with my own style and happily complain when I lose-- or switch styles and complain when I win. 

Wulf


----------



## seasong

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> But just pushing the judge's buttons alone shouldn't be enough to win.
> 
> One would hope that, at some point, the crafting of an actual adventure-- with a plot that actually _engages_ the PCs with things to do: some puzzles, some fighting, some roleplay; with decisions to make and consequences that they can see and feel, etc.-- one would hope that would have some impact on the judging.



In theory, you have to write a solid scenario as part of pushing the judge's buttons. However, and this is just my opinion, a solid scenario does not need any of the traits you mentioned. It doesn't need puzzles if the group doesn't like 'em. It doesn't need fighting if you're running a modern Cthulu Investigation campaign. It doesn't need roleplaying if your group prefers intricate dungeons. It _does_ need decisions and consequences, because otherwise it's not a game, but those decisions (and the consequences) don't have to be well delineated.

I usually try to think of it as a hired hack - Rune needs a game for tomorrow, these are the things he wants to include, this is what kind of game he likes to run, what can I slap together for him? Bare bones idea or fleshed out scenario, I'm writing it for him, and how his group plays.

If you were the judge, I'd probably take a cue from some of the stuff you seem to enjoy as a player (in your story hours) and write up a morally ambiguous meat grinder . It would have a few puzzles, a few fights, some roleplaying opportunities. It would be crafted from a balance -n- tactical fun standpoint, and it would allow for a wide variety of character "types". That would be me pushing your buttons, but you probably wouldn't call it whoring, you'd just call it "good design" (like you did above).

I'd avoid dwarves, though - you have to surprise the judge a little.

-seasong


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

seasong said:
			
		

> *If you were the judge... *




BIG PILES OF DEAD BAD GUYS (tm)

Wulf


----------



## el-remmen

For the record - I never consider the judge in the slightest bit when I write these entries- I just try to write something that *I* would run - and personally, that is what I would advise everyone to do.

Oh, if it isn't too obvious I totally agree with Daniel about what makes for a good and useful adventure.


----------



## seasong

nemmerle said:
			
		

> For the record - I never consider the judge in the slightest bit when I write these entries- I just try to write something that *I* would run - and personally, that is what I would advise everyone to do.
> 
> Oh, if it isn't too obvious I totally agree with Daniel about what makes for a good and useful adventure.



Of course you would - since you happen to naturally align with the judge, you don't need to. Shall I just hand the crown to you, or can you pick it up yourself?


----------



## Rune

It's almost noon.  Seasong and Nemm, are you ready?


----------



## el-remmen

Sure am,  I am excited to put that little upstart in his place. . .


----------



## seasong

Yup. Drop 'em whenever.


----------



## Rune

In order for me to respond to some of the points Wulf and others are making, I'd have to get into a little bit of gaming philosophy, which is something I feel uncomfortable doing before the last two entries are in.  So I'll hold my responses until then.  The rest of you should feel free to continue the conversation.


----------



## seasong

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Sure am,  I am excited to put that little upstart in his place. . .



I am also excited about this. Good or bad, I look forward to facing the iconic judge.


----------



## Rune

*Championship Match: Nemmerle vs. Seasong!*

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the match you've all been waiting for:  *For the Championship Iron DM Summer 2003, Original Iron DM Judge, Nemmerle vs. Current Iron DM Champion Seasong*.

Ingredients (please list these at the top of your entry.)  The first six are mandatory ingredients.  You can choose to include any, or all, of the following nine ingredients, but their inclusion must be done carefully.  Their good use will only count in your favor in the case of otherwise equal entries, but poor use will count against you, no matter what.

_Primary ingredients:_
*Leach
Lost vault
Horn of Valhalla
Horseshoes
Dark side of a moon
Wuxia cat*

_Secondary ingredients:_
*Blind cartographer
Fairy-tale land
Eyes
Cloak of charisma
Gifted apprentice
Terrarium
Cannibal village
Spider monkey
Unfriendly barber*

You have until exactly 24 hours from the time of this post to post your submissions.  Remember.  NO EDITING AFTER YOU POST!

Good luck, and may the best Iron DM win!


----------



## seasong

*Re: Championship Match: Nemmerle vs. Seasong!*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> Wuxia cat



You shall all rue this day .

Nice ingredients.


----------



## el-remmen

An idea is forming - as bizarre as the ingredients. . .


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

HA! 

Where's mister "I linked 5 right off the bat!" now?

Those are great ingredients, Rune. I can already see that some of them are thematically linked-- quite strongly so. Once again I would go the obvious route gambit, and hope not to disappoint...


Wulf


----------



## Piratecat

I LOVE those ingredients. Good stuff!


----------



## Rune

On the ingredients:

Thanks for the compliments, folk!

I've been beside myself waiting to unleash those all through this tournament.


----------



## cool hand luke

what the heck is a wuxia cat?


----------



## Rune

In it's most literal sense--the sense that I won't expect to see in either of the two entries, it is one of my girlfriend's cats.

I know that doesn't help at all, but you'll be able to figure it out when you read the entries, I assume.


----------



## seasong

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> what the heck is a wuxia cat?



_Hello Kitty_ on crack and _Cat in a Hat_ with a Baseball Bat. Back alley fights between soaring felines and Trash Can Lid Fu.

If you've ever heard Primus' song _Tommy the Cat_, you know where that cat is at.


----------



## cool hand luke

seasong said:
			
		

> *
> 
> If you've ever heard Primus' song Tommy the Cat, you know where that cat is at. *




ah a reference I can relate to, good deal.


----------



## el-remmen

Uh-oh . . .two hours left - I had better start writing. . .


----------



## el-remmen

*ok, didn't have a chance to proofread - but here it is. . .*

Iron DM Final: Nemmerle vs. Seasong

Primary ingredients:
Leach
Lost vault
Horn of Valhalla
Horseshoes
Dark side of a moon
Wuxia cat

Secondary ingredients:
Blind cartographer
Fairy-tale land
Eyes
Cloak of charisma
Gifted apprentice
Terrarium
Cannibal village
Spider monkey
Unfriendly barber




Ambrose the retired royal cartographer long ago lost his eyesight has been dreaming for months now that he could see and was floating over a city.  Each dream seemed to start where there last had left off and he slowly floated over the place noting the avenues and buildings and the gates into the strange city where it was always night - but there was some weird sheen or reflection that he could never quite identify.   Becoming increasing obsessed with the idea he began to describe the features and dimensions of this city to the current Royal Cartographer, Ehteahn, who was his gift apprentice whose skill he trusted to make an accurate representation of the dream city.  The younger cartographer humored the old man because he felt like he owed him much and looked to him as a fatherly figure - but did not give much credence to the idea that this was a real place.

*The King's Nightmares*

The King of Walandia has been suffering from awful dreams for months now.  He has grown increasingly edgy, tired and has begun to suffer dementia from both the lack of sleep and the dream images he has been forced to endure.  At first the king did not want to describe what he dreamt of, but as he grew more and more disturbed, he began to babble about the things he saw in the world he visited during these nocturnal journeys.  Understandably, the king was sequestered by his loyal advisors, and the ruling of his kingdom fell (covertly) to his younger brother (see "Possible Misdirection" below).  However, this was not done before the young Royal Cartographer overheard some of the King's ramblings and was amazed to find that some of the things the king mentioned seemed to match up with aspects of the dream-city that his former master described when having him draw the map.  Suddenly he was not so sure that the place was not real after all. 

*Hooks, Misdirection & Court Intrigue*

This adventure assumes the party is of significant enough level and or reputation for them to be sought out to determine what has been ailing the king.  Of course, if there is cleric in the PC party dedicated to moon god (the moon is often associated with dreams and/or behavior), prophecy god, or healing god – it may even be that the PC in question assigned to this delicate and very important task.  

Alternately, the party could be chosen for its lack of reputation and need for some discrete strangers to handle the problem, who would likely not even be believed if they left to tell tales of a mad king.

Of course, there is also the possibility that the PCs (being of higher level) have worked for the king or one of his advisors, or even his younger brother (the earl of dunst) and were hired because they are personally known to those who rule the court. 

The PCs could also become involved backwards – by befriending the blind cartographer.  The GM could have them find a map on some unrelated adventure that the cartographer had made in his youth, but that they need more information about and hope he can provide it.  The cartographer, at whichever point he enters the adventure, should be played as a man whose kindness and thoughtfulness, only make his bizarre tangents of describing fantastic edifices and landscape features all the more disturbing.  Anyway, if he finds out they are adventurers he will certainly tell them about his “journeys to beyond” as he calls them – and will be very anxious to get them to investigate them for him – he does not have much to offer them, but the GM should allow him to have a significant amount of coinage (i.e. not enough to really tempt PCs of this level, but enough for them to realize that this is all the money he has in the world, and thus this means a lot to him) and a *Horn of Valhalla* – one of three horns in a set owned by the Royal Family – it was a gift to the cartographer when he retired. (this horn becomes important later – see below).   Or he may ask them to look into it in return for the favor of describing a place in detail to his former apprentice (the current royal cartographer) and have him draw the map – of course, this will get them involved in the false court intrigue as well – especially if Ehteahn is given reason to trust the PCs –s o he can confide in them about the connection between the “dream city” and the king’s nightmare and dementia.

Court Intrigue: There really isn’t any court intrigue – this little piece of “pre-adventure” is meant to play on player’s meta-knowledge about these type of adventures – they expect someone to be looking to off the king, and will be looking for means and motive –and may be particularly suspicious of the earl (the king’s brother) as the king has no heir and the young brother would become king.  In truth, the Earl is a rustic man who prefers hunting with his hounds and horses – who while cares for the kingdom and would become king if had to (just as he has secretly taken the role of despot in his brother’s illness), would wear the crown with a heavy head and heart.  He should be a good ruler and kind hearted and lawful good man that players always suspect of being “too good to be true”.   The GM should ideally give the PCs all the rope they want to hang themselves with.  The castle should be stocked with a myriad of interesting characters – very few of which know what it is really going on with the king (you could even make up an old school “rumor table” with various guards and servants having different theories on what is going on if the party interviews them.  

*Finding out About the Connection to the Moon:*  It is up to the PCs to make the connection between the dreams, the dream-city and the moon.  The connection between the moon and dreams and behavior might be well known in a symbolic sense – but it will take very literal thinking (something people who live in a fantasy world might be better at than real world people playing them are) to think – _“if dreams come from the moon, we should go to the moon to find the source and stop it.”_   However, there are several ways the PCs can figure out that they should  go to the moon.

-	A pc with knowledge: astronomy skill can make a check (DC 25) to note similarities between landscape features on Ambrose’s map and those visible with a spyglass on the surface of the moon.
-	The Horns of Valhalla.  Shrewd PCs might figure out that the similarity between the former Royal Cartographer and King is that both one Horns from the same set.  The king has two horns (and has more intense dreams).  However, while removing the horns from the area of the king or Ambrose will stop the dreams, it will not cure the former’s madness or the latter’s obsession.
- A divination spell like Commune can be used to find out about the dream-city on the moon causing the dreams – and might even allude to the fact that they are trying to make diplomatic contact.  Of course, questions about alignment will make PCs suspicious as there as many dark things that dwell there as good things, and chaos is also rampant –so coming up with a motive or  goal might be difficult – thus precipitating that the party travel there.

*The Horns of Valhalla & The Horseshoes*

If the party uses legendlore or bardic knowledge or some other means to find out about the horns, it is revealed that they were made from the horns of a monstrous horse-like beast that was the holy mount of a paladin dedicated the God of [insert appropriate god from among moon, dreams, night, stars, etc…) when it (and its master) were slain guarding the city from an invasion of demonic beings – and decorated with moonstones to honor the god and its servant.  Further investigation will lead the PCs to the “The Pale Horse” – a local tavern frequented by petty nobility and the Nuevo-rich – where the *horseshoes* that were on the slain holy mount are on display on wall holding a few of this local hero’s other items.  The proprietor, Luther deVink, is a descendant of the paladin in question, and knows all the tales and legends of his famous ancestor. deVink can tell the party of how his ancestor’s holy mount was a beast from the dream-realm, and that in his journal he described visiting Nimbrosia, the city of dreams on *the dark side of the moon*. It is a well-known (if rarely believed) tale around the capitol city, that the horseshoe on display in the tavern are magical, and gave the paladin’s mount the ability to gallop up a moonbeam, up to the moon.  In one adventure, to save the Emperor of Dreams, he attached a small wagon to his mount and brought a whole group of heroes with him.  

deVink, however, is decadent man who lives beyond his means, trying to a live a life as extravagant as the patrons of his popular tavern.  He is a supreme gambler, spendthrift, whore-monger and drinker and is severely indebt.  This can lead up to a non-combat encounter where the PC must convince him to part with the horseshoes.  (The horseshoes are magical and function as horseshoes of a zephyr except on a full moon the creature can actually gallop to the moon).  If the party appears rich he will demand an exorbitant price for them (like 3,000 gps each).  If the party refuses or is cash poor, he might take in trade the PCs somehow “fixing” his debts with his creditors.  This man has no virtues of his paladin ancestor, and will subtly imply that the party should bully and intimidate folks into forgiving his debts. 

This creates a possible series of small encounter or even a sub-adventure involving the PCs in the city’s underworld.  Of course, the party might already have the necessary contacts to figure something out – but it should be interesting because there very powerful characters cannot really use violence to fix these problems without a) collecting a lot of enemies, b) running afoul of the law and/or c) gaining a bad reputation among the clientele of “the Pale Horse”. (REMEMBER: Even if the party is working for the king, they are sworn to secrecy, so they do not have the “we are hear to help the king” excuse of doing whatever they want.   If they are arrested, for example, they will be set free but after long delays and probably a stern lecture from the Earl and/or the king’s advisors.  It is important to be diplomatic.  

This section of the adventure could even be a short solo adventure for a party rogue.

*Other Ways to Get to the Moon*

It is possible that the party might not track down this route to the moon.  Here are some other possibilities:

-	Teleport.  This could be dangerous (though teleport w/o error would work), but the PCs may have the map of the City of Nimbrosia, which could help pinpoint a place to teleport to. . .   Of course, if the caster has ranks in Knowledge: Astronomy and a spyglass he might be able to get a good view of a place to teleport two and then march around the moon to the dark side.
-	_Dream travel_.  The psionic power can be used to get to Nimbrosia.
-	The map itself could be magical and allow for travel to the moon.
-	If you want to get really wacky, have them seek out a gnomish inventor who has a pointed metal tube with lots of smoke powder shoved in one end.. . . . Can anyone say, one way ticket? 
-	The GM can reward the party for some other creative method.  I am a firm believer in letting players make up their own method of figuring out how to do something. . just let them think _you know_ what does it – but just let the most creative one work.  For example, the party may make the connection between the horns of Valhalla and the dream-city and summoning the warriors from the horn, could dress in their clothes and return back with them when the magical item’s effect wears off  (see _The Meadhall of Dreams_ below).

_A note about the moon_: You should not worry about atmosphere or gravity on the moon – make it normal “earth type” – modern concepts of atmosphere and gravity and the like are anachronistic in a fantastic and folklorish tale like this.  The moon should still be barren and cold and stark.

It is possible that the party will land on the light side of the moon and need to march across the surface of the moon.  The folklore nature of this adventure can be played up here – with perhaps an Odyssey-type journey meeting different exiles on the moon.  Another possibility is that the craters on the moon are created by a pair of purple worms who burrow throughout the great orbiting rock.  That would be a nasty combat, but could be a whole lot of fun.


*The Dream City of Nimbrosia*

The Dream of Nimbrosia is a city in a Terrarium on the dark side of the moon (where it cannot be seen from the earth with a powerful spyglass).  While the rest of the moon is barren and cold and stark, this place is enclosed in a great glass dome and anchored into a strange metal protrusion from the surface of the moon.  If approached from above, as if upon a steed with the horseshoes of a zephyr, the city will seem sprawling, but dotted with vegetation and strange buildings of odd shapes that should not stand up, and the there are giant lightning bugs and glowworm that give the city light.  The there is dull red-orange reflection of these lights in the dome (thus the sheen in Ambrose’s dreams).

The entrance to the city is a towering gate guarded by slender asexual angelic humanoids with multi-colored and shifting butterfly wings (use stats for Avariel)

The party should have no problems getting in, but as visitors they will be brought to meet the Empress of Dreams who lives in a castle in the center of the sprawling chaotic city.

As with most Nemmerle adventures, the Dream-City of Nimbrosia  is meant to be a site that the PCs can explore as they like and in their interaction with the place create their own encounters and adventures.  However, before they can explore freely they must have an audience with the Empress of Dreams.

The audience chamber is a huge room in a tower at the center of the city.  The Empress of  Dreams is a were-tigeress who loves to lounge on dais covered with pillows in humanoid cat form, being waited on and pampered by all different kinds of creatures (see Denizens of the City of Dreams below).  She will happily welcome the PCs and explain that she recently decided to make diplomatic contact with monarchs and rulers in the “real world” through deams, but that the chaotic nature of dreams has made it that there is a baleful influence that seems to have decided to effect the king of Walandia.  According to one of the few rules of this place, she cannot interfere with the nature of dreams that arrive to those in waking world, but the PCs can.   However, before she will allow the PCs to go off to find the influence that is driving the king mad, she will challenge a member of the party to an unarmed duel.  The Empress is a Psychic Warrior/Monk, a regular *Wuxia Cat* that will run along walls, perform insane leaping kicks and change form frequently – fighting sometimes to subdue and sometimes doing real damage seemingly at random.  It doesn’t really matter if the PC in question wins or loses – what the empresses wants is a good and entertaining fight – she will use the walls, the audience in her court, her pillows and dais or the very halls of the tower, or allow someone to chase her up to the battlements and expects her opponent to do his or her best to make it interesting as well – someone who just tries to fight her in a straight up exchange of blows is going to lose her respect – and she will quickly call the duel and demand the party leave Nimrosia and not return.  Does this seem bizarre and arbitrary?  Well, it should – this is a dreamland we are talking about – literal sense does not always matter.  The Empress herself is languid and affection – play her like a cat, purring and growling and rubbing up against PCs as she talks, maybe inviting oen she finds attractive or cuddly to join her among the pillows so she can cuddle up to them as she talks and maybe licks their face.

If the PCs fail the test of the duel they must either resign themselves to being escorted back to city gates and leave (leaving the king to his fate).  However, that does not mean the adventure is over – they can try to sneak back into the city and question its residents and/or physically search until they discover the sources of the maddening dreams, or they can go for the classic adventurer solution to a problem and start killing people until they get what they want.  Of course, this latter solution will likely get the party killed.

If the PCs succeed in this test the Empress will give them a good deal of information to help them.  She will explain how the city itself is constantly changing and is as fluid as dreams themselves, because things are constantly being added and taken away and changing form or location.  This is where having Ambrose’s map will be helpful because while it never appears to change, it is always correct and can be followed to find various sites in the city.   The Empress will also explain that the source of the baleful dreams is a *Lost Vault* within which a dark creature of nightmare was long ago trapped (a former Emperor of Dreams) by a visitor from the waking world (the paladin mentioned earlier, actually).  The vault itself is always changing places in the city and sometimes is above ground and sometimes below ground, and it is not on Ambrose’s map – but the map can still help find it since discrepancies between the map and the actual city will lead to the vault.  

The Empress will also explain that the creature (she is not sure what it is ) *leaches* the wisdom and sanity from its victims and to retrieve it, it must be leached back out of the creature in liquid form and then the king must drink it.  

She will also give the PCs a scroll with a rambling and often incoherent introduction for the king, explaining how the city wants to have a role in the waking world. (Note: this is just a pipe dream and would never work – but she is not exactly the most reasonable person in creation)  She will also offer to have the king brought to Nimbrosia where his madness is not a liability if the PCs fail.


*Denizens of Nimbrosia & Areas of the City*

The GM is encouraged to make this place as bizarre as possible.  The “people” walking the streets should have foot long lightning bugs on strings as a form of light, and glowworms should crawl through glass tubes shaped like letters in lots of known and unknown languages on signs for shops, taverns and inns.  The streets should wind around craters within which various quarters of the city are built.

_Doppelgangers_: One of the common type of citizen of Nimbrosia should be a kind of doppelganger that can only be corporeal when taking the form of a person known to who they are interacting with.  This should give the PCs the impression of a dream, that feeling that someone looks like one person but is really someone else (as often happens in dreams) – they could appear as people back in the waking world or someone who is dead.

_Dreamers_ – Taverns could be populated by dreamers – people in the waking world who are asleep and just experiencing weird things.  This could be a fun way for the PCs to send messages back to the waking world – effectively acting as a _dream_ spell – easily distracted or mischievous PCs could also try to seek people out to basically make them suffer the effect t of a _nightmare_ spell.

_The Meadhall of Dreams_: This giant meadhall is filled with burly warriors eating, drinking, wrestling and carrying on in perpetuity.  It is from here that warriors are summoned by a horn of Valhalla.  In fact, blowing the horn here would have no effect at all except to anger the warriors and cause them to attack the PCs (however, they cannot leave the meadhall so if the PCs flee they will be safe).  However, if they simply come here they will ber welcomed to take part in the revelry as long as they want.  A possible side adventure could have the PCs summoned by a horn of Valhalla in the waking world if they stay here and actually eat and drink the stuff served here.

_Talking Animals_:  Portions of this city definitely have the feeling of a fairy tale land and thus there should be talking animals of various kinds, both mundane, dire or bizarre combinations – like lizard like horses with horns – Some these might be kind and helpful, others could be mischievous others murderous.  The GM could also have a seto f talking spider monkeys that act as messengers for the city, climbing around leaping from building to building with multiple satchels over their six arms (yes, they are actual _spider_ monkeys).

_Mind-flayers & Other Psionic Creatures_ – Since dreams and the subconscious mind are intimately connected, there should be lots of psionic creatures to be found in the city, including a mind-flayer quarter – that might be happy to have some fresh brains to eat – or alternately, the GM could do the ole switcheroo and have the illithids be sated by living in a place with so much mental energy and actually be friendly and helpful.


*The Lost Vault* – This dark place of nightmare that is always moving and changing in form.  The place should be a kind of dungeon crawl in and of itself.  The outside is guarded by black and twisted gargoyles, who will attack any who come within the tomb-like buildin’s courtyard and alert the monks that live in the abbey above the labyrinthine vault below.  The monks are were-bat psychic warrior/monks types dedicated to the dark creature that is locked within.  The vault itself should be a maze of captured and imprisoned creatures.  There should also be gibbering mothers patrolling the narrow corridors, and other twisted dark creatures to be found.  

The creature itself is a giant leech with the vampire template and psionic powers.  The thing should be a challenge to the whole party, especially if they have not had too hard a time with the other challenges of the adventure..  It should be found in a barren damp room, maybe clinging to a dark corner of the ceiling.    Once the creature is slain or disabled (which will take some creativity as it can turn gaseous) the king’s sanity and wisdom can be leached from the thing and collected ina jar or wineskin or some other receptacle. 

There are tons of follow-ups and tangents possible with this adventure – including further exploration of the city, trying to get back to the waking world (if the PCs took some limited form of transportation), a delegation of ambassadors from Nimbrosia can later come to the waking world and start wreaking havoc – or as is common in a place with a different “culture” and society – the PCs can inadvertently offend someone and create a bizarre enemy.


----------



## seasong

Ha. I said concise earlier. I lied.

Greybar, I sincerely apologize - this one kind of disproves everything I said to you.

Anyway, here it is...

*Hateful Ambition[size]

Primary ingredients:
Leach - the pumice stone cup, which can be stolen
Lost vault - the burial chambers
Horn of Valhalla - Gjöll
Horseshoes - the PCs' method of getting to Hel or Asgard
Dark side of a moon - the final battle; where Ing hides
Wuxia cat - Oddir

Secondary ingredients:
Fairy-tale land - Asgard, the rainbow bridge, c'mon!
Eyes - how to get to fairy-tale land for Ing
Gifted apprentice - Ing
Unfriendly barber - Thorsteinn (and Oddir)

OVERVIEW

The setting is your favorite Norse or Viking period, and can be thrown against a variety of historical periods.

In essence, the PCs find themselves arrayed against Ingjaldirsdotter ("Ing"), who wants to become a goddess and cast vengeance on those who 'mistreated her' in life. The primary battle will be to destroy her tools, kill her, or otherwise prevent her from succeeding - and without PC intervention, she WILL succeed. If she loses, the PCs have saved the day and move on to the next challenge; if she wins, the PCs have a longterm enemy goddess, and probably a few divine allies as well, and will need to start looking at their longterm survival prospects.

Ing has to acquire the eyes of seven heroes; make a razor of mistletoe; steal the horn of Valhalla; acquire dragon's blood; and kidnap and threaten a god. All of these can be re-attempted until Ing is brought to justice before the gods, killed, memory-wiped or something similar. It is necessary to stop her with at least a few of these (to buy time), and then find her.

She would also like to kill one god in particular (Eir), and murder her former mentor (Thorsteinn). Although Thorsteinn knows this, Eir does not, and Eir is unlikely to believe it, as Ing is a cleric/healer of hers.

This text provides many tools to run the adventure, but does not go into the specifics of designing the vaults, or setting up Asgard for invasion. The word count would be obscene if it did .

GENERAL COMMENTS, DEFINITIONS & DISCLAIMERS

Level: Somewhere around 7th to 10th is probably best.

Leach is not the same as leech. The definition I am using is that of a porous vessel used to draw liquids from an object (or to draw solubles from a liquid).

Vault also has a lot of meanings, but the one I'm using is that of a burial chamber, particularly one with an arched structure.

For the Horn of Valhalla, I decided to go with Gjöll (sometimes spelled Gjall or Gjallar), which is the horn Heimdall will blow on at Ragnarok (it is also the horn which Odin uses to summon the gods to war against giants and that sort of thing).

For Wuxia, I'm using more of it's original meaning. Wu is martial, or having to do with war, while Xia is a person who "is honest in words, effective in action, faithful in keeping promises, fearless in offering his own life to free the righteous from bondage." (Sima Qian) Wuxia, then, is the Chinese variant of the gentleman-knight, but also carries a bit more to it. Xia typically indicated a certain amount of outsider status - the xia was often from humble background, and was often a non-conformist. My Wuxia cat, then, is a feline that embodies these principles.

Wuxia is also associated with high-leaping, high-power, asian butt-kicking, like Warriors of Zu Mountain and The Bride with White Hair. However, that is when 'wuxia' is used as an adjective for a genre (for example, 'wuxia film'). 'Cat' is not a genre I'm familiar with, so I have used it in the context of its meaning for an individual.

CAST & CREW

(note: 'j' is usually pronounced 'y', and 'i' is pronounced as in 'pin'; everything else is usually similar enough to English)

Gjöll: The horn of Valhalla, guarded by Hrist and Mist (the two valkyries who serve Odin by bringing the horn when he calls for it). It is also the horn which will be blown by Heimdall when Ragnarok comes. It's primary property is that it can be heard throughout the Nine Worlds, and that when it is heard, virtually all of the Asir will gather in Asgard to prepare for battle, whether that battle is something Odin has chosen, or the beginning of Ragnarok.

Einherjar: The "sons of Odin", heroes who have been chosen on the battlefield by the valkyries to go to Valhalla. They are important to this story only in that they exist - the eyes of their corpses are useful in the making of a potion which Ingjaldirsdotter needs.

Eir: Goddess of healing and shamanic healers, companion of the goddess Frigg. She taught her secrets only to women, who were the only healers in Norse society.

Hrist: A valkyrja, an immortal female servant to Odin. Hrist is known as the "Shaker", who caused land to shake and rend (the valkyries possessed the power to determine who won or lost battles - for purposes of this text, it is assumed that they did so through manipulation of the landscape). Hrist is the less subtle of the two valkyries protecting Gjöll, and tends towards smash strategies.

For stats, a good mix is a half-celestial stone giant redescribed to be a beautiful valkyrja, with chain shirt, Huge longspear, and earth-related spell-like abilities (including earthquake several times a day, or possibly at will). She rides a half-celestial Huge heavy warhorse (+ fly 100 ft).

Ingjaldirsdotter ('Ing'): The barber's beautiful and talented and evil apprentice.

Loki: An Asir god whose name means "knotted loop". He's the kink in everyone's plans, the Great Satan of Norse myth... but he's also a bringer of knowledge to humanity, and one of the few gods who would stand with the downtrodden against the other Asir. Unfortunately for mortalkind, his idea of 'help' is usually filled with hate, bile and cruelty, but at least he's trying.

Mist: A valkyrja, an immortal female servant to Odin. Mist's name means "Fog", and she often covered the battlefield in mists (see Hrist's entry). Mist is a subtle warrior, using mists and air magics to her best advantage.

For stats, Mist can be built the same way as Hrist, except that her spell-like abilities should be air-related (including obscuring mist at will).

Oddir: A wise and ancient and very unfriendly cat who teaches philosophy to strangers in the wilderness, and kicks ass when and where needed. Oddir is actually Thorsteinn, below, after his apprentice got through with him.

Thorsteinn: An immensely skilled physician and barber, and in some ways the ideal Norse hero (he is a master of all manly arts, including warfare, but has devoted himself to his practice as a physician). His ability to be a hero has been taken away, however, and so he must work through others.

BACKGROUND

Once upon a time, there was a powerful physician named Thorsteinn, whose skills very nearly rivalled those of Eir's healers (Eir is a goddess, her healers are mortal women), despite a lack of magic. Eir approached this physician in a dream, and told him that if he continued to defy her will with his medicine, that she would either kill him or turn him into a woman.

Thorsteinn was not keen on either option, and offered a compromise - he would be allowed to continue his practice, but he would apprentice a young healer, teach her his ways, and never teach another man. Eir considered, and agreed. It was a way of turning Thorsteinn into a woman, just from one generation to the next, and with fewer hard feelings, Thorsteinn's precious knowledge would not be lost.

There were still a few hard feelings, of course, and Thorsteinn greatly resented his apprentice, for he had wanted his son to carry on his tradition. He grew to hate Eir, but feared her threats enough to teach the apprentice what he could.

Ingjaldirsdotter, his apprentice, was a young and beautiful woman, but she was primarily chosen by Eir to learn from Thorsteinn because she was also immensely talented. However, Ing grew bitter under the stingy tutelage of Thorsteinn, and came to feel that she had been given over to Hel by her goddess. She came to resent everything, and she would have simply grown into a very bitter crone of a healer, except that she chanced upon something that provided a terrible opportunity, at a terrible price.

Thorsteinn, after all, could not have achieved such skill on his own. Many of his poultices and healing methods and tools were beyond the ken of mortal physicians prior to him. The idea that he could have discovered each principle and method on his own was beyond unlikely. For Thorsteinn had been given a book by Loki, the knotted loop of the Norse pantheon, and in this book were many secrets. In return, Thorsteinn had promised to keep the book secret and locked away, and had given up his youth.

Ing found the book. Thorsteinn, despite his bitterness, was a good man, and refused to use many of the terrible secrets in the book. Ing was not such a man, but a resentful and vengeful woman. Each night, she carefully copied the pages she wanted, as Loki laughed deep beneath the earth.

The book held many secrets, but those that Ing chose to copy would allow her to see the divine (a prereq to some of the others), find (and use) Gjöll (the horn of Valhalla) to become a goddess, transform men into animals, and create a razor made of mistletoe which could kill a god (or mortal). However, the book did not give these powers to her - it merely explained how to acquire them.

The first she mastered was the easiest - the ability to transform men into animals (baneful polymorph for those making the switch to 3.5e ) - and she used this upon Thorsteinn when he discovered her. She meant to turn him into a toad, but he managed to transform the curse (although not eliminate it - like the 12th Good Fairy at Sleeping Beauty's ceremony, he could only change it) and became an unusually large cat instead, and escaped with Loki's book of secrets held in his mouth.

Still, he was out of the picture, and unable to return himself to his original form. And so she began to work on the other secrets, and the PCs came onto the scene.

LOKI'S BOOK OF SECRETS

This is effectively out of the picture, but the recordings of Ing are still around. They are:

Transforming men into animals: This requires a potion (but the Brew Potion feat is sufficient), but it can be thrown as a missile weapon for the same effect. The result is a permanent polymorph other into the Small-size or smaller Animal of your choice. It does not affect Intelligence, but does prevent human speech. A disjunction or wish could break it, but no lesser magics can.

Seeing the divine: As with transforming men, this requires a potion, but the ingredients are extremely specific - the eye juice of an Einherjar (the warriors chosen to go to Valhalla). In order to get to Valhalla, one must have the potion (to see the rainbow bridge), but to make the potion, one needs something from Valhalla... except that the corpses are here in this world. Ing will be raiding burial mounds to get enough Einherjar eye juice.

Each potion takes seven days to make, and requires the eyes of seven Einherjar. They must be placed in a cup of ensorcelled pumice stone (which is very expensive to enchant, and is only useful for this purpose), which is itself placed in a ceramic jar. The stronger the Einherjar, the better the resulting potion, and the longer it lasts. Ing is going after the eyes of the seven greatest warriors, which she expects to last for her a year and a day... surely long enough for her to achieve her other goals.

Secrets of Gjöll: The horn of Valhalla can be heard throughout the Nine Worlds, and thus is useful for summoning the gods. But it has another use as well. A potion made of dragon's blood can provide partial immortality, but only in the Mortal World (and does not protect against violent death); if it is drunk from Gjöll (in an 8 hour ceremony), however, it provides one with immortality in all Nine Worlds, and the invulnerability of a god. With a good bargain with another god, one could become a god by this method.

The other side of the secret is where the horn is located: at the mouth of the Gjöll river, somewhere in Hel's realm. It is protected there by Hrist and Mist, Odin's horn-bearer valkyries.

Razor of mistletoe: Mistletoe is truly deadly only to Baldur, but a weapon made of it can be harmful to any Asir god, and a sharp blade made of transformed mistletoe is a weapon which can kill, if it is wielded with sufficient skill and strength. Making it requires a great deal of time and magical work, however.

For stats, treat as a vorpal dagger +5 which automatically gets past the DR of gods (but the vorpal aspect only does x5 damage to a god; it kills a mortal). The cost and XP is quadrupled or so, whatever you feel is appropriate for such a fine weapon.

INGJALDIRSDOTTER'S PLAN

She seeks the tombs of the seven greatest Einherjar to ever live, but will settle for as few as three or four of them, plus a few other Einherjar, if she has to. She is also crafting the mistletoe razor. When she has both, she will make the potion and apply it to her eyes, use her divine sight to find the rainbow bridge and cross it to Hel (Heimdall guards the way to Asgard), where she will seek Gjöll and steal it.

Her skills as a physician and healer have provided her with a great deal in the way of money, and she has used it to hire a number of mercenaries to help her on the specifics - acquiring dragon's blood, stealing the eyes of the Einherjar, and continuing to hunt for Thorsteinn (who is going under the alias Oddir to avoid magical discovery by name).

Once she has Gjöll, the razor, and the dragon's blood, she will make herself immortal in an eight hour long ceremony, and then attempt to sneak into Asgard with the razor and horn, where she plans to kidnap one of the weaker gods and bargain with them for power. If possible, she will choose Eir, but she won't throw her plan away for that petty part of her vengeance - she can always kill Eir later.

It's an insane, low-probability plan, overall, but Ing sees it as a choice between dying and going to Hel, or getting her revenge and power fantasies fulfilled. The idea of simply living out her life is abhorrent.

GATECRASHING

There are several good hooks, which will affect how this scenario runs:

1) The party is one of the mercenary groups hired by Ing. To them, she is merely a charming, beautiful, rich physician who needs a dollop of dragon's blood (or, if they are more suited, the eyes of a great hero). Or perhaps she hires them to eliminate a monstrous cat that is haunting the nearby wilderness. Regardless, she's the Good Guy. Run them through one of the sub-scenarios, help her out a bit, and then have them run into Oddir (or, if they are hunting Oddir, let them get into a fight with him and then talk - if they somehow kill him, use a mysterious 'physician secret' he learned to turn his body to smoke and bring him back after a few days).

2) The party runs into Oddir in the wilderness. He asks for help, yadda yadda. See the "Meeting Oddir" section.

3) The party is travelling through a rural area and is hired to investigate a robbery. Specifically, the tomb of a great hero of the area, the only bit of history the place has, has been raided. Worse, the eyes of the corpse were stolen, which means that his eyes are now missing in Valhalla, as well. They want the eyes recovered, at least half of the treasures of the tomb returned, and the culprits brought in for justice (to be then killed as messily as the imagination of the local leader allows). When the party tries to capture the mercenary band that is making their way back to Ing, Oddir will show up and help them fight. Any mercenaries brought in alive will be mysteriously changed into animals while in prison.

4) If one of the PCs puts stock in their ancestors, start the session with a "holiday" visit to one of their more famously heroic ancestors... only to find the tomb broken open, their family wailing and gnashing teeth, and then run it as (3), above.

5) Oddir mistakes the party for the mercenary band who just stole some eyes. A fight ensues, as per the options under (1), and then he asks for their help as per (2).

Most of these hooks focus on getting them to talk to Oddir, so now let's go to that section.

MEETING ODDIR

Oddir is a 20th level Expert focused on healing, knowledge and butt-kicking. In general, he has at least a +28 skill in almost anything he needs to, a +15 BAB, proficiency in the weapons he needs, improved unarmed strike, etc. He's bad ass, for an NPC class.

He also knows numerous Secrets from the book, and so has many weird powers that simply aren't very explainable in terms of class. The best way to represent this is probably the vampire template - energy drain is a "life force punch", the ability to turn to mist is a body control secret, etc. Ignore the vulnerability to sunlight and ability to spawn undead, and give him a vulnerability to misteltoe-covered weapons, and you should be set.

Oddir knows that his former apprentice has been in the Book of Secrets, but he doesn't know what she knows. If the party doesn't know about the eyes of the heroes, he will; if they DO know, he won't. Either way, when he finds out, he'll know what she's planning with them, since there aren't very many uses for Einherjar eyes.

Oddir is cantankerous, uppity and generally annoying. The goal is not to have the PC's like him - in fact, they should empathize with Ing at least a bit (at least with the "killing Thorsteinn" part - the rest of her plan is evil, evil, evil). However, they need him. He's the only other mortal familiar with the Secrets, and he only gives out information very, very grudgingly (he doesn't want a repeat of Ing).

Nor will he fight with them, unless the enemy is already easy. He is aware of the importance of staying alive and keeping the secrets in his head; since he can't share them, he also can't afford to die. So he will act in a seemingly cowardly fashion, even though he's not really afraid, and will generally try to stay out of trouble.

After all, fights are what PCs are for.

Oddir's purpose is to be the Voice of the GM. He should be an inscrutable, irritating bastard, but he always comes up with good information. He will be the breakpoint between individual adventures in the scenario, the "tavern" they return to for their next mission.

Heavy-handed? Hell, it's Norse mythology .

Variant Note: As an alternative, and for a more evil-oriented party, you could flip this around. Have them work for Ing the whole way through - she's promised them positions of power in Asgard, and once she's established (having risked her life to test the theory), she'll ascend them as well. Then throw PC-like parties at them.

Other Note: Oddir is unwilling to give his true name (in case she learned one of the secrets that will let her find him if he states it aloud), nor will he use hers (for the same reason). He can only tell the PCs that the fight is against a beautiful physician. Even if they figure out who she is (or met her in the hooks section), she will have gone into hiding before they catch her. See the HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT section.

PLACES AND EVENTS

Burial Chambers: There will be at least seven vaults, guarded by ghosts, town defenses, etc. The families and towns near the vaults will not be able to afford to let the PCs in to guard them, because the PCs could be the thieves in disguise. They will guard them more carefully due to the warning, of course, but this will not be effective if the PCs are completely hands off about it.

So the PCs have several choices: break in themselves and steal the eyes themselves to prevent Ing getting them; stake out the place and hope it's the next one hit; keep an ear to the ground for thefts and try to catch the thieves as they run back to Ing; or some other plan I can't imagine .

The burial chambers themselves are simple affairs, usually a barrow mound with a deep tunnel entrance, a few side chambers, and a massive room large enough for a good fight. Vary it up a little from tomb to tomb, but overall, you're going to be running SEVEN of these, so don't make them too deep or complex.

The Dragon: Pick one of the smaller, less well-defended dragons in your campaign. Make him Ing's target.

The PCs will get wind of this when the first group of mercenaries dies in the attempt. Ing hires another set, and sends them off, and Oddir hears about the first group. Oddir isn't sure what she wants the dragon's blood for, but he can think of at least a dozen evil, heinous uses which she shouldn't. So the PCs will need to defend the dragon, or, at the worst, prevent its blood from being taken.

This is a good fight to save for near the end, since it is likely to involve high powered mercenaries.

Hel: Ing herself has to go to Hel, and races upriver to find the source where Bjöll is. The PCs will have the opportunity to stop her from reaching her objective here, at which point she will attempt to escape (to try again another day). Ing should be a high level Cleric, sufficient to provide the PCs with a severe butt kicking (but still defeatable), and have a reasonable chance to escape.

Asgard: If they failed to completely stop her, Ing will be going to Asgard. She can't sneak past Heimdall, so she does something different: she blows the horn in the Mortal World. As all of the warrior-type gods rush to Midgard (including Heimdall), she sneaks across the rainbow bridge to find the weaker gods who were left behind.

The PCs will hear the horn, as do all living things in all Worlds, and Oddir will finally realize what she intends. This will be the final battle - she'll be at her full power, damned near immortal, and extremely desparate to finish her bid for power before the other gods discover the truth. If the PCs stop her, good; if they don't, you get to grin viciously and explain that she is now the goddess of the dark side of the moon.

MISCELLANY

Mistletoe Razor: This takes Ing a full month to make, or any other dramatically appropriate time. While the PCs are fighting off vault thieves, she's making this. In general, there's no reason for the PCs to know to try to prevent this - but when they do find out about it, Oddir will grudgingly tell them that it can be destroyed by soaking it in holy water for seven days.

He will also inform them that if they just keep it, the gods will be after them (possibly untrue, but he doesn't want such an abominable thing to exist in the world).

Gjöll: At some point, Ing will have the divine sight potion and the razor. Whether she has the dragon's blood or not (but definitely after the attempt), it will be time to go to Hel and steal the horn.

Oddir will realize this when he puts the elements together - the potionof divine sight, the attempt on dragon's blood... it all adds up to a shot at immortality.

He won't tell the PCs about the "power of a god" part, he'll just say that she's trying to get a Boon, and that she mustn't get the horn. At this point, he'll tell them to make contact with a cleric of Odin he knew as a human (he won't himself - too dangerous).

Sleipnir's Horseshoes: The cleric can produce horseshoes, each with a tiny hair from Sleipnir's fur coat (Sleipnir is Odin's eight-legged horse, who can cross the planes, fly, etc.). Each horseshoe works for one round trip when nailed to a horse's hoof, and weighs 8 pounds. He will provide each PC with one shoe, and will replace them if needed, but will generally refuse to produce very many (each one costs XP, you see).

When nailed into a horse's hoof, the shoe provides the rider with the ability to teleport the horse and any riders into any of the Nine Worlds. The horse will then (likely) freak out, and the PCs will be where they wanted to be, just on the back of a freaked out horse. They can return at any time, as long as they still have their horse with them.

Goddess Of The Dark Side Of The Moon: If Ing succeeds, she will become the goddess of one of the only things not already taken by the other gods - the dark, unlamented part of the moon. She's not happy about it, but it's available "divine real estate", and she'll play the part to the hilt.

As the goddess of the dark side of the moon, she will have powers over darkness, dark emotions, and concealment. She will use these to begin wreaking havoc on the other gods, and any mortals that get in her way.*


----------



## seasong

Ugh.

So, 4500 words. And for the record, the 24 hour timespan had nothing to do with it - I wrote all of those last night, between the hours of 10:30pm and midnight. So it's not the timespan, it's _me_. Last round and this round, I felt really, really inspired, and I fear it completely killed what little ability I had to be concise.

I wish I'd had time to edit this morning, but work has been very busy today. I could have trimmed out of some of the stream-of-consciousness garbage, maybe editted out the stat notes, etc. But, even so, I'm reasonably proud of it. I'll say why during the exposition phase, so I don't unduly influence the judge, but I'm fairly happy with it.

I just wish it were shorter, by about half or more.

At least nemmerle's is almost as long


----------



## cool hand luke

stop bragging, and get back to crunching round 3.


----------



## seasong

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> stop bragging, and get back to crunching round 3.



I haven't had time yet this morning to do much of either.


----------



## Rune

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> thanks Rune, I really appreciate your time in this, and it has helped me grow.
> 
> I knew from the start that this thing was way way way to long.  However, as I said, I'm a theology nut, and 2 of your ingredients hit on a very sore spot with me, one, in fact, I had just done several day research on, and prepared a very lengthy bible study about.  I knew I was biting off more than I could chew, but decided to do it anyway.




This is where you get to decide to trade quanity for quality.  Guess which one a typical judge values more?  It's very difficult to edit out some really great material, but a good contestant will be able to concisely reword it to lose the excess baggage.  You (hell, and I, for that matter) have got to learn not to be too much in love with your work, that you can't edit to make it better.  No matter how much good material you have, it's useless, if it can't be presented well.



> My original idea was to have this be much more of a moral dilemna, which of the 3 groups should I help, but that just got WAY WAY WAY to long, and I had to cut it back, which turned it from a nice moral dilemna plot into a quick trip on charlie the choo-choo, or maybe blain-the-train, hurtling down the track, with only one stop at the end




I would really have liked to see that.  Cutting out the descriptive text would have been better--even if it would be more heartbreaking.



> didn't think that including the links would be a problem, but it was inappropriate.




Upon reconsideration, I didn't really have a problem with their inclusion, so much as the presentation of them as background material.  I would have preferred to see all necessary background material in the body of the entry.

Fortunately, that _is_ what I saw, and the links' real purpose was to provide evidence supporting the fact that you weren't plagiarising anything.  That's fine; I just wish you had been clear on the point.

Although, personally, I do wish you'd trust the judge to make their own literary and historical connections, but then again, I was an English major, and do that kind of stuff all the time.  Other judges may well appreciate the links.

Good luck in future tournaments, cool hand luke!


----------



## Rune

Well, now that all entries are in, I'm going to discuss, a bit, what I think makes a good Iron DM entry, and what I think makes a good adventure, overall.

To do so, I'll respond directly to some comments:



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> So what am I most proud of? That I finally took the meta-game of Iron DM, and the judge's whims, into consideration. I completely whored myself out from the get-go. From the classical epic backstory (that the PCs may or may not ever discover), to the repeated use of deus ex machina-- and hey! I won!




First of all, I think you've got it backwards, Wulf.  There is a meta-game invovled in the Iron DM tournaments, but writing for the judge isn't it.  When submitting entries, myself, I would often play little games for my sole amusement, writing for myself, as it were.  That is the metagame.  And you know what?  I lost every single one of those matches.  I don't think it was because of the metagame, per se, but I definitely should have used the time to refine my submissions.

But, you know what else?  I'll do it again.  It's fun, and helps to justify the enourmous amount of time requisit in playing in the tournament.  However, I've always kept in mind that the object of the game is to write for the judge, and, to a lesser extent, for the audience.  It's not a meta-game.



> The PCs _appear_ to have choices, but it really doesn't matter what they do. I even went so far as to admit that right up front-- it doesn't even matter which deity is behind the "hooks" and calamaties that befall the PCs! The adventure is _designed_ not to care. There's a lot of setup, a lot of really nothing at all for the PCs to do, and they are herded onto the stage at the end of the entry, the beginning of the _real_ adventure-- just like the entry that bested me in the round before. The adventure is one long, protracted hook that pulls the party onto the stage at the end. The loose threads? The unanswered questions? In my opinion, the truly satisfying adventure lies in what was _not_ addressed in my entry, in those few lines tacked onto the end.




This may be shocking, but I'm going to say it, anyway.  Linear adventures are _not_ inherently bad.  If they were, time-based adventures (excluding time-travel adventures) would automatically be bad, as time is linear.

Railroading occurs when the players _feel_ as if they have no choices.  If they think they have choices, no matter whether all roads lead to the same conclusion, or not, it is not railroading.

Is it better to provide actual choices that lead to multiple conclusions?  I tend to think so, but for an entirely different reason:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  A good adventure serves as a seed for a good campaign.



> One would hope that, at some point, the crafting of an actual adventure-- with a plot that actually _engages_ the PCs with things to do: some puzzles, some fighting, some roleplay; with decisions to make and consequences that they can see and feel, etc.-- one would hope that would have some impact on the judging.




A good generic adventure should include a variety of elements, to try to appeal to all types, but there is no hard and fast set of elements that an adventure should have (although, it would be foolish to try to sell an adventure with no combat (for instance) in it, probably.

It is important that players can feel the consequences, but I think you're assuming that consequences necessarily need to differ from potential consequences to be felt.  It's nice when that happens, but it need not be requisit, depending on the situation.  It _does_ however, need to feel different from the consequences of failure.  The basic point, however, is that it's all an illusion.  If you are able to sell the illusion, that is all that matters.



> Seems to me that some entries are better off in alsih20's Ceramic DM. That's a-what I'm sayin. If it takes you 4000 words to cough up the _backstory_ but the portion of the adventure that the PCs can actually *interface* with is 5 or 6 open-ended questions, that's a problem, in my opinion.




It really depends upon what the background is used for.  If it's used to explain history, it probably is wasted space, if it's too large.  If, on the other hand, it's used to set up political intrigue, motives, and character (combined), then it's an excellent use of the space.  I've never believed that an adventure needs to come to a nice, packaged ending.  If most of the events occur as a result of conclusions that the DM (or judge) can easily infer on his (or her) own, that's not a problem.  As a judge, I've frequently read between the lines.



> I'm not saying whoring to the judge is bad. I agree it's an integral part of the Iron DM mystique. I just don't think it should be the primary focus-- are we here to craft adventures, or are we here to see who plays better to the judge? Which has top priority, ya know? Maybe it's me who's off base, I dunno.




I think you're overestimating the role that that little factor plays in judgement.  As a judge, I've always attempted to judge a work on its own merits, factoring in style _last_.  I've seen it matter in past tournaments, but even in the tightest matches of this tournament, it has only been a factor once (so far--I still haven't read the final two entries).



> I really should take a spin at judging one of these. I'd be curious to see if I can spot the whoring or not.




I'd hope to see you do so.  Maybe I could get to play again. 



> _Originally posted by seasong _I usually try to think of it as a hired hack - Rune needs a game for tomorrow, these are the things he wants to include, this is what kind of game he likes to run, what can I slap together for him? Bare bones idea or fleshed out scenario, I'm writing it for him, and how his group plays.




That's actually not a bad way to approach this.  All of Seasong's former entries (excluding, possibly the last, which I've yet to read) have been distinctly Seasong's.

If I saw an entry from him that I couldn't recognize as his, because it looked too much like mine, I doubt he'd win the round.  I don't think I've been too opaque about this, but I value creativity higher than all other elements in judging the tournament.

If I couldn't recognize Seasong in his entries, or anyone else in their's, I'd be supremely disappointed.


----------



## Rune

And now, the Chairman has made a decision.

Who will be IRON DM SUMMER 2003?


----------



## el-remmen

Yer killing me. . .  hurry up and post it already. . .


----------



## Rune

*IRON DM SUMMER 2003 JUDGMENT!*

*Nemmerle vs. Seasong*

Well, I'm going to start by saying that I'm slightly disappointed with these submissions.  I had expected better from both contestants at this point in the tournament.

That's not to say that these entries are bad, but they're certainly unpolished.

Ah well.

There is, at least, a lot of good stuff to latch onto.  Take, for instance, the hooks.  In Nemmerle's case, they are all varied and plausible.  In Seasong's case, they are also varied, with the added bonus of being bastardly, in some cases.  Getting the PCs to start the scenario by advancing the goals of someone they'll later be trying to stop is a very nice touch.

I also like the format of both works.  Seasong's has an interesting "stop the bad-guy by any means at your disposal" quality to it, as well as an implied frantic rush against time.  Meanwhile, Nemmerle provides an amazingly evocative saga (journey/Odyssey) format that strikes me in all the right ways.

And, most importantly, it's _very_ creative.  I love the red-herring court, the horseshoes used as a means of transport to the moon, the moral ambiguity inherent in aquiring them, all of the other means described of getting to the moon, and the wonderful character of the Empress of Dreams.  Add to that the excellent tips on running the dream-city, and I'm practically ready to hand the crown over right now.

But then I read Seasong's and see the (characteristically) excellent characterization, the complex and weighty motives, the well-handled epic scope of the adventure, and I'm not so sure, anymore.

Additionally, Seasong's scenario allows for a follow-up campaign, much, much better than Nemmerle's, which relies mostly on the curriosity of PCs to explore the unknown, especially if the PCs fail stop Ing from becoming a goddess.  Suddenly, there's a totally new evil goddess up there, with a totally new porfolio--and she's out to get the other gods!

Okay, so how were the ingredients handled?

Well, neither entrant fell for the "leach/leech" trap.  I very much like the way Nemmerle's leach (the verb form) drains the wisdom and sanity of folk through dreams.  Very cthuloid.  On the other hand, using the noun version of the word gets Seasong extra points, even if it isn't overly intrigal to the story.

I think both entries used the Horn of Valhalla paricularly well.  I especially liked seeing a well-fleshed out artifact version in Seasong's entry, but the link to the dream-city in Nemmerle's is also exceptionally good.

Both entries use the Dark side of the moon effectively.  It's nice to see it as the source of dreams in Nemm's entry--quite creative.  On the other hand, using it, not only as an encounter location, but also as a "reward" for failure (that is the domain of the new, evil goddess) is very nice.

I loved both Wuxia cats, even while I was disappointed with them.  Their characterization was excellent, and both were quite evocative, but neither needed to be a cat and both looked like they were cats, merely because cat was part of the ingredient.  Seasong's partial explanation for the form went a little ways toward solving the problem, but not far enough.  Another problem with the ingredient use is that Seasong's character is _way too heavy-handed_, so much so that he smacks of railroading.  Meanwhile, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever for the Emperess of Dreams in Nemm's entry to duel anybody, and telling me that it's a dream and shouldn't make sense won't help the players warm up to the idea any better.

The use of the lost vault wasn't particularly special in either scenario, but I did like the writhing nature of Nemm's version.

As for other ingredients, they are mostly good, and don't count against the players (I love, for instance, Nemm's Spider Monkey and Seasong's Eyes), but Seasong does include a poor one, which I can't let slide.  I really think calling Asgard and other mythological locations a "fairy-tale land" is just stretching it too far.  You wouldn't call them that if I hadn't included it as an ingredient, would you?

Okay.  Neither of these entries is perfect, but with work, both would be excellent to run.  Seasong, I really like the form of this one, and the epic scope could be unwieldy, but isn't.  If you had submitted something of the quality of your last entry, I probably wouldn't even have bothered reading an opponent's (that's hyperbole, by the way).

Nemmerle's got a scenario that shines with creative inspiration and a format that works well for it.  It's pretty sloppy--but the _meat_ of it is all good.

*Seasong*, you are the *Secondary Champion of Iron DM Summer 2003*.

Which means, *Nemmerle* is _the_ *IRON DM SUMMER 2003*!

Congratulations!


----------



## el-remmen

*wow.*

I was _certain_ I had lost. . .

but. . .  anyway. . .. *WOO-HOO!*

*Seasong*, congrats on a great entry.  I think Rune is right - neither of these were our best - but even your worst is still pretty friggin' amazing.

And *Rune*, thanks for taking the time to run this.

Exposition to follow. . .


----------



## Rune

*Re: wow.*



			
				nemmerle said:
			
		

> *I was certain I had lost. . .
> *




...And _I_ was _certain_ I had beaten Vaxalon, but it simply wasn't the case.


----------



## cool hand luke

*comments from the peanut gallery*

congrats to the deserving winner


now, looking back over the entire competition, what were things that everyone really liked?

favorite overall submission (I think there were actually better ones in earlier rounds)

favorite use of an item?

scenario you are most likely to use?

most rat bastardly submission?

others?


----------



## seasong

*Re: IRON DM SUMMER 2003 JUDGMENT!*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> Which means, *Nemmerle* is _the_ *IRON DM SUMMER 2003*!



And well earned!

Now I'm going to nitpick a few things that bothered me  (and sincere apologies for the nitpicking).



> I think both entries used the Horn of Valhalla paricularly well.  I especially liked seeing a well-fleshed out artifact version in Seasong's entry, but the link to the dream-city in Nemmerle's is also exceptionally good.



I am unhappy with this ingredient, both its inclusion and the judgement rendered on it. I know I screwed up enough things in my scenario that this doesn't really affect the judgement, which is why I call it a nitpick.

If the horn is of Valhalla, that requires that Valhalla exist. You could name any old thing Valhalla, and make a horn that is from it (which is essentially what nemmerle did), but, and this is important to me, you could have called it the Horn of Vuggrematch and nothing in the scenario would change. Or, given how it was used, you could have called it the Whatsit of Vuggrematch and nothing in the scenario would have changed.

In order to use it properly, I took the Proper Noun that was part of it, and I made that part of the background. I think I did a _smashing_ job with it (not only did it tie nicely into the entire mythology of the scenario, but someone had to _blow on it_ to achieve their aims, thus justifying why it was a horn), and if there was one ingredient in my scenario that I thought deserved huge kudos, it was this one.

My other ingredients, I was considerably less pleased with, but I want my props for this one   .



> Both entries use the Dark side of the moon effectively.



Really, I didn't feel like I did. Nemmerle's use of this ingredient was needful. For my use, it made a good domain (I thought) and was cleverly inserted, but there was no reason that the domain _really_ needed to be the "dark side of the moon". I also forgot to include any notes on what fighting there would be like.



> I loved both Wuxia cats, even while I was disappointed with them.  Their characterization was excellent, and both were quite evocative, but neither needed to be a cat and both looked like they were cats, merely because cat was part of the ingredient.



This ties into the horn of Valhalla issue. If it's part of the ingredient, _it should be there_. I toyed with a number of other ways of handling this one, but the fact is, _there's not a lot of meanings for the word 'cat'_. The best alternate I could come up with was a tattoo of a cat, or a cat sculpture that provided wuxia advice (or powers)... but those worked very weakly in the scenario. So I opted, as nemmerle did, to go with a cool character instead.

This was sort of like the Awakened Camel (or whatever animal it was, I forget) that incognito did as an ingredient a long time ago. When the camel seemed silly to him later, he was disappointed in the use.

The only thing I would have improved with my use, given the ingredient, would have been to work in some way in which a cat's unique traits were needful to the scenario - perhaps keen hearing, or maybe requiring the PCs to groom the obnoxious thing before it would help them.



> Seasong's partial explanation for the form went a little ways toward solving the problem, but not far enough.  Another problem with the ingredient use is that Seasong's character is _way too heavy-handed_, so much so that he smacks of railroading.



Yup, I think I even pointed it out in the text (as part of my stream of consciousness writing) that it was heavy-handed  (I would have editted that out if I'd had time this morning to look at it - no use in giving the judge reasons to shoot you down). However, I will point out that heavy-handed plots are part and parcel to most wuxia film, with most things being overstated or made as obvious as possible, and that the wuxia cat was the only such element in my scenario 

That was probably too subtle, though, and a bad gamble.



> ... Seasong does include a poor one, which I can't let slide.  I really think calling Asgard and other mythological locations a "fairy-tale land" is just stretching it too far.  You wouldn't call them that if I hadn't included it as an ingredient, would you?



Depends. If you'd asked me if Asgard qualified as a fairy tale land, I would have said yes. If you'd asked me what Asgard's dominant quality or descriptor was, fairy tale wouldn't have been the first word to pop to mind.

However, it is a grey area: fairy tales are not actually about fairies. Most of what we call fairy tales are Russian, and most _actual_ tales about fairies we call Celtic Mythology. I took you to mean the word as "the cultural equivalent" - that is, the Other World for whatever culture we set things in. Since I set things in the Norse mythology, I used the Norse Other World, and I even picked the one that had dwarves and beautiful/immortal non-gods and eternal hunting and other traits in common with the Celtic Summerlands.

But I can answer your rhetorical question even better than that: I wouldn't have included _Asgard_ if you hadn't included fairy-tale lands as an ingredient. The ingredient is what brought using it (and having Ing invade) to mind.



> Seasong, I really like the form of this one, and the epic scope could be unwieldy, but isn't.  If you had submitted something of the quality of your last entry, I probably wouldn't even have bothered reading an opponent's (that's hyperbole, by the way).



As I said when I posted that one, I knew I'd killed myself for round 3 when I wrote it. There's no way I'll match that again, not any time soon. If I could have saved that inspiration for last, I would have.

For the form, that's what my posts usually look like before I start editting them for clarity. Very linear, top-down list of elements as I think of them. I re-ordered a few things as I went (moved random stuff to the Miscellany section, and added the Overview and Cast & Crew sections), but reading that entry is pretty much like watching me think.


----------



## Rune

*Re: Re: IRON DM SUMMER 2003 JUDGMENT!*



			
				seasong said:
			
		

> I am unhappy with this ingredient, both its inclusion and the judgement rendered on it. I know I screwed up enough things in my scenario that this doesn't really affect the judgement, which is why I call it a nitpick.
> 
> If the horn is of Valhalla, that requires that Valhalla exist. You could name any old thing Valhalla, and make a horn that is from it (which is essentially what nemmerle did), but, and this is important to me, you could have called it the Horn of Vuggrematch and nothing in the scenario would change. Or, given how it was used, you could have called it the Whatsit of Vuggrematch and nothing in the scenario would have changed.




However, the ingredient is actually a magical item in D&D.  Not only that, Nemm _did_ have a Valhalla of sorts, just not the mythological one.

However:



> In order to use it properly, I took the Proper Noun that was part of it, and I made that part of the background. I think I did a _smashing_ job with it (not only did it tie nicely into the entire mythology of the scenario, but someone had to _blow on it_ to achieve their aims, thus justifying why it was a horn), and if there was one ingredient in my scenario that I thought deserved huge kudos, it was this one.




Perhaps I didn't emphasize this well enough in my judgement, but I was very impressed and I thought that, if there was one ingredient in your scenario that deserved huge kudos, it was this one.



> This ties into the horn of Valhalla issue. If it's part of the ingredient, _it should be there_. I toyed with a number of other ways of handling this one, but the fact is, _there's not a lot of meanings for the word 'cat'_. The best alternate I could come up with was a tattoo of a cat, or a cat sculpture that provided wuxia advice (or powers)... but those worked very weakly in the scenario. So I opted, as nemmerle did, to go with a cool character instead.




Quite so.  But an ingredient may fit well without actually needing to be that ingredent within the context of the story, _as long as it needs to be the ingredient within the context of the character._  Your sphynx from the first submission fits.  The cat, less so.



> This was sort of like the Awakened Camel (or whatever animal it was, I forget) that incognito did as an ingredient a long time ago. When the camel seemed silly to him later, he was disappointed in the use.




It was a _Bright_ camel, actually.

But a wuxia cat could be interpreted in many ways, not all of them (not even most of them, perhaps) silly.  Perhaps you've noticed that I'm fond of ambiguous ingredients.    Furthermore, and this is the important part, a wuxia cat can suggest fantasy and/or adventure far better than could _tasty pudding_ or a _bright camel_.



> Yup, I think I even pointed it out in the text (as part of my stream of consciousness writing) that it was heavy-handed  (I would have editted that out if I'd had time this morning to look at it - no use in giving the judge reasons to shoot you down). However, I will point out that heavy-handed plots are part and parcel to most wuxia film, with most things being overstated or made as obvious as possible, and that the wuxia cat was the only such element in my scenario




This _was_ a case of giving me the rope to hang yourself with.  However, I would probably have picked up on it anyway.  I don't mind that it was a very unsubtle character--I mind that it was so obviously a mouthpiece of the DM--although making it disagreeable helps a bit.  Also, remember, no matter how much of a genre you want to emphasize, this is not a film, and the needs of an adventure must be met in order for the players to have a good time.



> Depends. If you'd asked me if Asgard qualified as a fairy tale land, I would have said yes. If you'd asked me what Asgard's dominant quality or descriptor was, fairy tale wouldn't have been the first word to pop to mind.
> 
> However, it is a grey area: fairy tales are not actually about fairies. Most of what we call fairy tales are Russian, and most _actual_ tales about fairies we call Celtic Mythology. I took you to mean the word as "the cultural equivalent" - that is, the Other World for whatever culture we set things in. Since I set things in the Norse mythology, I used the Norse Other World, and I even picked the one that had dwarves and beautiful/immortal non-gods and eternal hunting and other traits in common with the Celtic Summerlands.
> 
> But I can answer your rhetorical question even better than that: I wouldn't have included _Asgard_ if you hadn't included fairy-tale lands as an ingredient. The ingredient is what brought using it (and having Ing invade) to mind.




Alright, fair enough.  It really looked to me as if you used Asgard because of the horn and were then trying to tack on the other ingredient because it sort of fit.



> As I said when I posted that one, I knew I'd killed myself for round 3 when I wrote it. There's no way I'll match that again, not any time soon. If I could have saved that inspiration for last, I would have.




Crap.  I forgot to say:


> _...and what was up with seasong's entry? Compared to his last one, it was a clumsy tour de force of literary wasteland, a dry desert devoid of the cool waters of clever allusion, decorated only with the baked camels of linear Jobsworth plots. Did he think he could ride the success of his last entry? That we would be too afraid of his staggering reputation to tear down a half-assed work? Very disappointing!_


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## seasong

*Re: Re: Re: IRON DM SUMMER 2003 JUDGMENT!*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> However, the ingredient is actually a magical item in D&D.  Not only that, Nemm _did_ have a Valhalla of sorts, just not the mythological one.



_Seasong removes foot from mouth long enough to say, "Well, I'll be damned. A magic item, you say? In the DMG, no less, you say? Well. Well, well, well. I'll be damned." Then he re-inserts foot in mouth._

Boy, I feel stupid.



> But a wuxia cat could be interpreted in many ways, not all of them (not even most of them, perhaps) silly.  Perhaps you've noticed that I'm fond of ambiguous ingredients.    Furthermore, and this is the important part, a wuxia cat can suggest fantasy and/or adventure far better than could _tasty pudding_ or a _bright camel_.



But it _has_ to be a cat. I was referring to the part in your judgement where you said, "both looked like they were cats, merely because cat was part of the ingredient".

Mostly, I just misunderstood that sentence. You weren't saying they should not have been cats, but that the cats should have been necessary. In which case, I agree entirely!



> Alright, fair enough.  It really looked to me as if you used Asgard because of the horn and were then trying to tack on the other ingredient because it sort of fit.



Nope. The reason Ing went there (to get god-like powers to match her immortality) could have been replaced by the GM saying, "Hel is willing to bargain with her" or "Loki has approached her and said that if she can achieve this much of her task, he'll provide the rest, so long as she swears fealty to him". Since the fairy-tale land looked like Asgard, though, I closed those avenues for Ing, and forced her to be more aggressive.



> Crap.  I forgot to say:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _...and what was up with seasong's entry? Compared to his last one, it was a clumsy tour de force of literary wasteland, a dry desert devoid of the cool waters of clever allusion, decorated only with the baked camels of linear Jobsworth plots. Did he think he could ride the success of his last entry? That we would be too afraid of his staggering reputation to tear down a half-assed work? Very disappointing!_
Click to expand...


 Thank you. I needed that.

And I don't want my nitpicking to detract from nemmerle's victory. It was _very_ fairly won - I liked his entry a lot more than mine (rass'n-frass'n magic items I forgot about aside). And I agreed with 90% of Rune's judgement - I just had a few tiny bits I had to get off my chest.


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## Wulf Ratbane

Hmm... What with all the cats and moons and fairy tales, I would have gone straight Mother Goose...


Wulf


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## el-remmen

> I loved both Wuxia cats, even while I was disappointed with them. Their characterization was excellent, and both were quite evocative, but neither needed to be a cat and both looked like they were cats, merely because cat was part of the ingredient. Seasong's partial explanation for the form went a little ways toward solving the problem, but not far enough. Another problem with the ingredient use is that Seasong's character is way too heavy-handed, so much so that he smacks of railroading. Meanwhile, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever for the Emperess of Dreams in Nemm's entry to duel anybody, and telling me that it's a dream and shouldn't make sense won't help the players warm up to the idea any better.




When I read the first part of this I thought, "But I did _kind of_ explain why she was a were-tiger."  But then I looked back at my entry with a "Doh!" - I had meant to add to the section on the city's denizen that lots of lycanthropic creatures could be found here - and basically how since they lived on the moon itself they all were "true" lycanthropes - being able to change at will.  Didn't really say _why_ the Empress was a were-tiger, but at least gave context for her being there.

As for the duel, it made sense to me - I was trying to go for the playfully cruel or cruelly playful nature of cats, and the duel seemed to work for that - she wanted to help, but she also wanted to play.


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## lightful

*All Hail !*

Congratulations and high praise go to nemmerle ! 

The final round of Iron DM tends to be a bit disappointing, in most part, because the judges save their “best” ingredients for last ! Connecting a wuxia cat with a horn of Valhalla will strain the creativity of most writers.

I’d like to add that, all told, I found nemmerle’s three submissions to be the best overall, and that my favorite one, was seasong’s in the first round. It was fitting that they meet in the final round !

This competition raised a lot of questions, and possibly some ire (we don’t see PirateCat actually moderate too often). In order to resolve those matters I thought I’d post in a new Iron DM format and philosophy thread.


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## seasong

*Exposition*

It all started with leach. Sure, I didn't use the ingredient much, but when I saw the word, I realized that Rune was planning something tricksy. So I carefully checked and thought about the definitions of each word, possibly TOO carefully - I definitely gambled badly on certain aspects of wuxia and fairy-tale land, for example.

I also hurt myself by not editting. My creative flow is _readable_, certainly, but there are a lot of mistakes in it that would have been corrected on a second pass (not giving the judge rope on heavy-handed cats, editting out jotted notes on stats, previewing the title, including the definition of fairy-tale land I was using, etc.). And it would have at least given me a chance to fix the lack of connection Oddir had to being a cat, and maybe giving him some heavy-handed dialogue that made sense for the character, instead of just saying "make him heavy-handed". It might have also been about 500-800 words shorter, just glancing over the stuff I would have cut right off the bat.

In short, this was a good _start_ on an IronDM entry. I wish I'd finished.

Now for how it came about. Like I said, my entry was pretty close to my stream of consciousness, so I'll just comment on the entry linearly. You'll probably have a bit less respect for me when you see my patented "Make It Up As You Go Along" method of brainstorming, but what the heck.

It all started with the word 'leach'. When I went through the word list, I kept coming back to that one, and then I hit eyes. At that point, I knew that a bunch of eyes in a pumice cup would be in the scenario at some point. I think, with some work, I could have made it a _vital_ part of the scenario, instead of just a logical consequence, but I'm still happy it was in there. But then I needed to know what a stone cup of eyeballs, and more specifically, what eyeball juice would be useful for.

At this point, I was still just looking over the ingredients, tossing them back to my Muse while she twirled a strand of hair around her finger and smiled mysteriously.

So I scanned back up the ingredients, and stared at the horn of Valhalla. Like I said, I'd forgotten (or never noticed) the magic item, so I was wondering what in the heck to do with it, when the eyes finally hit.

I started typing. I wanted the eyes to be some medical secret or some such, so I started with Thorsteinn, a Norse physician skilled in his craft. Eir only taught women, and only women were allowed to be healers ("real healers" in D&D), so that made Thorsteinn something of an abomination. Right there, I had my *unfriendly physician*, so I kept on that tack (writing Eir in), and the *gifted apprentice* sprang up.

If anyone's read _The Anvil of Ice_, it's a Norse-like novel about a gifted apprentice who throws down his master. In that novel, he's the Good Guy and the master is the Bad Guy, but the basic dynamic of the former apprentice and master is ages old, from Orpheus to Darth Vader. Anyway, I thought of it, and leapt onto the archetypal bandwagon. Ing was born.

Her name, incidentally, is a real but uncommon name - I wanted something vaguely exotic, long enough to be impressive (even though the name itself is humble in meaning), and it had to shorten (as the Norse often did) to Ing the Merciless .

(er, humble in meaning: It is literally "Ingjalder's daughter", with Ingjalder itself having little in the way of strong background to it)

At this point, I realized I needed to explain where Thorsteinn learned his craft. I decided on Loki, for no other reason than he's the Norse whipping boy, and the only Asir who's not afraid to make MORE Asir if it will get in their teeth.

(This sometimes backfired on him, as with Sleippnir, but other than that, Loki has contributed more monsters and enemy gods to Ragnarok than all the other gods and giants combined)

Then I did something that I seem to do a lot in real life: I made up four Fairy Tale Powers ("able to drink the ocean", "transform men into animals", etc.), with the intent to figure out what to do with 'em later. Seeing the divine was inspired by the cup of eyeballs, although I wasn't sure why it would be useful to her yet; transforming men into animals was kind of a random link to other Powerful Women like Circe and Medusa who had the power to change (and thereby destroy) men (although I was thinking I might use it to get in a cat or spider monkey); and the mistletoe razor was inspired by Loki's presence (Loki tricked the blind god Hodur into using a mistletoe arrow to slay Baldur). The other one was originally "hear any person's name she listens for, where ever it may be whispered", to tie into the whole "see the divine" thing, and you can see that I kept that _fear_ in Thorsteinn's mind, but ultimately gave it up in favor of my better idea .

(This was also another aspect of Fairy Tale Land which, had I taken time to edit, would have been pointed out more explicitly)

(And what I was thinking, but never wrote in, was that all high-level spells should be this much of a pain in the ass to develop )

(One more thing ... Four? Not THREE powers? Norse mythos was often square rather than triangular, and although they had threes in their myths, twos and fours were also very common. I don't clearly remember which myth I was thinking of at the time, but I was trying for a Four Corners of the World kind of power, or the Four Elements, with sight as air, transformation as fire, hearing as water, and mistletoe for earth)

I then went ahead and transformed Thorsteinn into Oddir, and, with yet MORE links to fairy tales that I should have explicitly mentioned, made it a transformed curse, and had him escape with the Book of Secrets locked behind his sealed lips. _Sigh_.

Then I had to quickly hash out what the secrets were, so I started writing them up, and I suddenly realized that Ing didn't have to be _merely_ ambitious enough to steal her master's secrets. What if she wanted the _whole enchilada_?

So I started thinking about how she could become a god. Gjöll came up (the River in Hel) as a possibility, so I googled for Gjöll... and turned up the horn of Valhalla I'd been worrying about. Heroes who drank dragon's blood and Gjöll and Hel and divine sight all kind of mixed for a moment, and I got giddy. This was also where I realized how I could pull Asgard into the mix (thinking it was perfect fairy-tale land ).

I skimmed back through the text I'd already written, added in Gjöll where appropriate, updated her plans, and realized what use the mistletoe had for an ambitious, powerful, willful woman who felt she'd been mistreated by the gods. Oh yes, I was giddy.

As you can see in the text, when I finished the Secrets, I wrote what was next on my mind: Ing's Plan. Then I wrote up hooks, with the intent that they would need to meet Oddir, wrote up Oddir, made a reference to a Hiding In Plain Sight section I intended to write up (but never did), and scattered various locations, events, etc. about.

Then I reorganized the whole batch, went through to make sure that there were plenty of options for the PCs (as soon as I knew she wanted to be a goddess, I knew I wanted to have a long-term, strategic war of attrition waged between her and the PCs), commented on things Oddir would "realize" just in time...

Added a cast list when I realized I'd put together numerous NPCs on the fly, and that folks might get confused with all the Oddirs and Thornsteinns and Ings and Hrists and Eirs...

Wrote up a quick overview, told myself I'd finish editting in the morning, and went to bed.


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## WinnipegDragon

*Re: All Hail !*



			
				lightful said:
			
		

> *...my favorite one, was seasong’s in the first round.*




Yeah, sucks to be me  

I have to say that rereading a lot of these, Seasong's rd 1 does seem the most memorable to me.  Of course, my entry  lost to it, so that may be flavouring my judgement!


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## Rune

Now that it's all over, I guess I'll go ahead and say that Seasong's round 2 entry is probably the best I've ever read.  Ever.

In all of the tournaments I've seen, it's one of only a handful that I couldn't really see a way to improve.  And since I was judging it, I was looking at it more closely than I normally would.

I encourage folk to give it a second look.  There's a lot to learn from there.


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## seasong

Thanks, Rune .

The second one is my favorite, too, because it forced me outside of my usual comfortable boundaries. I'm usually at my best when I'm experimenting, but at the same time, I'm a dreadful coward. I owe an immense debt to anonystu for blazing the trail for me with his corpse.

Also, it let me show off my moderately literate background, and I _adore_ showing off .

A couple of people chimed in on the first round entry, but really, every time I look at it, I can see the rotting pieces hiding beneath a flow of smoothly flavored text and the one good idea in it (the bag of tricks use). I think it was the one that the most people would enjoy, but... I have a lot of difficulty liking it, myself.


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## lightful

And that apperenrtly is the root of the problem !

I found your 2nd round entry to be too large. I'm not saying that the ingredients weren't used well or that there aren't memorable and/or usable characters and places, it's just that it seems more appropriate for and Iron campaign or somesuch.

Your 1st round entry, while having flaws, is a memorable piece of fun. A complete adventure with hooks and follow ups.


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## seasong

seasong said:
			
		

> "A couple of people chimed in on the first round entry"
> "I think it was the one that the most people would enjoy"



My 1st round entry is the one that I think is more likely to win in IronDM.

I have problems liking it myself, because of all the stacked clichés and fairly straight-forward design (it offered plenty of twisty things, but the scenario itself was "chase the ferret, fight the harpy, collect $200, pass Go"). But it was definitely good work.

And the second is my favorite for reasons of personal satisfaction, which I have alluded to elsewhere as being not part of the game . It was sheer luck that cool hand luke also posted 4,000 words so I wasn't competing against a succinct scenario.


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## Rune

Seasong, I don't think your first entry was superior to the second for a specific reason: I don't think adventures should necessarily follow the module format--I think that often modules (as they are popularly presented) use a format that is too limited.  What you did in the second entry was to break conventions in such a way as to present a cohesive adventure (easily expandable to a whole campaign) that was superbly done.  It used ingredients well, it had a virtually flawless structure, and was massively creative.

That's what an entry, or adventure, for that matter, should be.  No need to be more.  No excuse to be less.


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## Talix

Congratulations to the new Iron DM champion!  

Hey seasong - do you have any interest in editing and re-posting that last entry of yours, just for those of us who might think about using it in the future and are interested in seeing how polished you can make it?


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## seasong

Talix said:
			
		

> Hey seasong - do you have any interest in editing and re-posting that last entry of yours, just for those of us who might think about using it in the future and are interested in seeing how polished you can make it?



Not today . But if you look through my exposition, it mentions most of the explicit edits my text needed.

Mainly, I'd think up some ways for Ing to hide from PCs looking for the root of the problem .


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