# How many gamers does it take to change a light bulb?



## Mista Collins (Jan 7, 2004)

One of my fellow gamers (who is not a member of EN World) made a joke I thought was quite funny at the time.

Q: How many gamers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 5! One to do it, another one with all source books at hand to make sure he is following the rules. 2 others to tell him he should have used a different spell or done it a different way. And the DM to award XP.

If you were asked the question,"How mant gamers does it take to change a light bulb?" what would be your answer?


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## Jolly Giant (Jan 7, 2004)

None. Gamers are used to dark places and either have darkvision or torches!


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## Micar Sin (Jan 7, 2004)

None. I cast a continual light spell from the PHB, just like Jack Chick said!!!!


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (Jan 7, 2004)

No lightbulb needed.  I attack the darkness!


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## Piratecat (Jan 7, 2004)

One.


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## tarchon (Jan 7, 2004)

The standard party of 4, but for a larger or particularly powerful party, one should increase the hit dice of the light bulb, apply a template, or even give it a few class levels.


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## BrooklynKnight (Jan 7, 2004)

Tarrasque Wrangler said:
			
		

> No lightbulb needed. I attack the darkness!



I dont know if you should be beaten to death or given an award.

Either way, you win in my book!


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## Kai Lord (Jan 7, 2004)

Tarrasque Wrangler said:
			
		

> No lightbulb needed.  I attack the darkness!



LMAO.


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## Mark (Jan 7, 2004)

Mista Collins said:
			
		

> One of my fellow gamers (who is not a member of EN World) made a joke I thought was quite funny at the time.
> 
> Q: How many gamers does it take to change a light bulb?
> A: 5! One to do it, another one with all source books at hand to make sure he is following the rules. 2 others to tell him he should have used a different spell or done it a different way. And the DM to award XP.




Better add one for the guy who's going to tell you at length about every lightbulb he has ever screwed (in)...


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## Epametheus (Jan 7, 2004)

One.  If you add any more, they'll go do something else and completely forget about it.


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## Triumph (Jan 7, 2004)

If the light bulb is in either the shower room or the bedroom then none, since we know gamers never spend any time in either one.


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## clark411 (Jan 7, 2004)

I'd go with five.

One who notices it and complains about it but is too lazy to change it,
Another to actually do the deed,
and then finally the last three to ask the second guy to get them drinks while he's up.


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## Hypersmurf (Jan 7, 2004)

Only one.  _But_!  In the grand, old days of the Republic, _hundreds_ of servants would change _thousands_ of light bulbs at our _slightest whim_!

Well, okay, that's a different joke.  But it's my favourite light bulb joke 

It's up there with "How many Yendi does it take to sharpen a sword?"

-Hyp.


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## Dark Jezter (Jan 7, 2004)

Q:  How many D&D players does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  4.  One to check the light bulb for traps, one to stand by with a healing spell in case someone gets electricuted, one to change the light bulb because he's got the highest hit points, and one to use a continual flame spell if the light bulb dosen't work.

Q:  How many vampire LARPers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  4.  One to change the light bulb, one to mention that the light bulb is broken just like the shattered remnants of his soul, one to talk about how the dim light in the room reflects the agony of his tortured existance, and one to talk about how the light bulb is a metaphor about all the pain and suffering in the world.

Q:  How many Riddle of Steel players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 2.  One to change the light bulb, and one standing by with a tourniquet for when the guy changing the light bulb gets his arm torn off.


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## Hypersmurf (Jan 7, 2004)

Dark Jezter said:
			
		

> Q:  How many Riddle of Steel players does it take to change a light bulb?




If I die I have to go before him, and he will ask me 'How many Riddle of Steel players does it take to change a light bulb?' And if I don't know, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me!

That's Crom.  Strong in his mountain.

-Hyp.


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## Dark Jezter (Jan 7, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> If I die I have to go before him, and he will ask me 'How many Riddle of Steel players does it take to change a light bulb?' And if I don't know, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me!
> 
> That's Crom.  Strong in his mountain.
> 
> -Hyp.




ROFL!

That's going in my sig.


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## Steve Jung (Jan 7, 2004)

Mark said:
			
		

> Better add one for the guy who's going to tell you at length about every lightbulb he has ever screwed (in)...



Don't forget another for the guy who puts together a light-bulb changer PrC.


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## Darrin Drader (Jan 7, 2004)

Mista Collins said:
			
		

> How mant gamers does it take to change a light bulb?




One, but he would have to buy a new house. The new lightbulb isn't compatible with the house, which was originally released under a now out-dated edition.



			
				Hyspersmurf said:
			
		

> Only one. But! In the grand, old days of the Republic, hundreds of servants would change thousands of light bulbs at our slightest whim!




Isn't that a Londo quote from Babylon 5?


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## I'm A Banana (Jan 7, 2004)

How many D&D players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Depends on it's CR.

How many Munchkin players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Depends on how good a day the DM is having...

How many F.A.T.A.L. players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I have no idea, but there are probably juices involved, and that may not be a lightbulb.

How many Call of Cthulhu players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Depends on how many tentacles it has.


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## Bran Blackbyrd (Jan 7, 2004)

Just one. 
And if you argue with me you can just find yourself a new DM.


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## Hypersmurf (Jan 7, 2004)

Whisperfoot said:
			
		

> Isn't that a Londo quote from Babylon 5?




Well, Londo tells the joke, yeah.

-Hyp.


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## Dark Jezter (Jan 7, 2004)

Q: How many Lord of the Rings RPG players does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  Two.  One to change the bulb, and another to sing a song about the lighbulbs used by the elven kings of old.


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## MerricB (Jan 7, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> Only one.  _But_!  In the grand, old days of the Republic, _hundreds_ of servants would change _thousands_ of light bulbs at our _slightest whim_!
> 
> Well, okay, that's a different joke.  But it's my favourite light bulb joke
> 
> It's up there with "How many Yendi does it take to sharpen a sword?"




Three. One to sharpen the sword, and one to confuse the issue.



Brust and Babylon 5, two great sources of Lightbulb Jokes. 

(How many Dzurlords does it take to sharpen a sword?)

How many Cthulhu gamers does it take to change a lightbulb?
_All of them! Never split the party!_

Cheers!


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## Viehl (Jan 7, 2004)

How many GURPS players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to actually do it, one to complain about the new rules in the latest edition of GURPS Lightbulbs, and one to argue that HERO would have done it better.


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## Mathew_Freeman (Jan 7, 2004)

How many Hiveminders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six. One to change the lightbulb, three to stand around making silly comments, one to complain that this is all drivel and should be kept off the front page, and one to invoke the Pantheon and start a flame war.


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## Flyspeck23 (Jan 7, 2004)

Q: How many gamers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. Because if two or more gamers are involved, they'll start to argue (about how to do it, what kind of lightbulb they should use, how in days past lightbulbs where oh so much better, who's the greater authority on lightbulbs, who's the most experienced, etc.), and won't get the job done.


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## Thresher (Jan 7, 2004)

None, lightbulb changing is a CC skill that will have to wait until 4th edition.
In the meantime Wotc will happily offer to screw you and your group with a free online addendum plus disclaimer to disprove the lightbulb exists and if it did exist in your game it must be TSR's fault and isnt a supported product line anymore.


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## Balsamic Dragon (Jan 7, 2004)

How many adventurers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

ALL of them!  NEVER split the party!



Balsamic Dragon


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## diaglo (Jan 7, 2004)

Q: How many gamers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There is only one true lightbulb. All the other lightbulbs are just poor filaments of your imagination.


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## Zimri (Jan 7, 2004)

None.
Mundane light doesn't affect magical darkness


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## ichabod (Jan 7, 2004)

My favorite (and I didn't come up with this one) is:

How many gamers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know. They're still rolling initiative to see who gets first crack at it.

Also:

What's the difference between a large pizza and a game designer?
The large pizza can feed a family of four.


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## Tsyr (Jan 7, 2004)

Q) How many Wheel of Time players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A) Three: One to remember how to screw in the bulb from a past life, one to go violently insane while trying to channel a light spell because he's a guy, and a woman to stand uselessly in the background and call them both woolheads, huff, cross her arms under her breasts, and possibly tug her braid.

Q) How many Song of Ice and Fire players does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to conspire against the first one while sleeping with owner of a company that makes florescent bulbs, and a third that kills both of them.


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## XCorvis (Jan 7, 2004)

*I can't believe no one said this*



			
				Mista Collins said:
			
		

> Q: How many gamers does it take to change a light bulb?




A: 1d4


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## Softwind (Jan 7, 2004)

Q. How many gamers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1. Four, if their ECL matches the CR of the light bulb.  (See Scaling the Encounter for higher or lower party levels.)

A2.  Ah, blessed darkness.  Now, what's that smell?  (inhouse joke)

A3.  Depends.  Is it D&D light bulb, an AD&D lightbulb, or a d20 lightbulb?


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## Henry (Jan 7, 2004)

How many Continuum players does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven  - The Thespian to take the place of the original guy who did it, 2 narcissists to assassinate the guy who did it, 3 spanners who originally helped him change the lighbulb to feel the frag and frune the problem, 2 Scribes to provide the clues, and 3 Foxhorn to hunt down the dirty narcissists, frag 'em out or kill 'em, and alert the Thespians that they need a replacement.


What about the original guy who did it? _Further Information is not available here._


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## Liolel (Jan 7, 2004)

How many gamers does it take to change a light buld

A lot: 1 to post online, "Help my Gm is making me change a light bulb" A good amount to post advice ranging from useless to very helpful, a few other members of the group to shift through the advice and decide a strategy, and the first player once again to implement the strategy and change the lightbulb.


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## Dark Jezter (Jan 7, 2004)

Q: How many 2e AD&D players does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Please consult TSR's _Complete Book of Lightbulbs_ for the answer.


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## Ashrem Bayle (Jan 7, 2004)

How many gamers does it take to change a light bulb?

None.

When one gamer finally finds one that he likes, the others will convince him it's _broken_.


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## Bloodsparrow (Jan 7, 2004)

Dark Jezter said:
			
		

> Q:  How many vampire LARPers does it take to change a light bulb?
> A:  4.  One to change the light bulb, one to mention that the light bulb is broken just like the shattered remnants of his soul, one to talk about how the dim light in the room reflects the agony of his tortured existance, and one to talk about how the light bulb is a metaphor about all the pain and suffering in the world.




Q: How many Mind's Eye Theatre LARPers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Okay, test with me.


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## Praeco (Jan 7, 2004)

Only one, though four to six is optimal in order to properly balance the challenge rating.


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## ejja_1 (Jan 7, 2004)

Q: How many Paranoia players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Thats classified information citizen, please report to the nearest termination center for reeducation. And remember your friend the computer loves you, have a nice day.


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## Impeesa (Jan 7, 2004)

How many Palladium players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Depends - main book says says 3 and a half, first supplement revises that to 6, unless one is a Lightbulb Changer OCC in which case it takes half the time and manpower, and the most recent errata puts it at e ^ (i * pi) but that's not official. 

How many Rolemaster players does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to take the Change Lighbulb skill, three to total the modifiers, one to make the static maneuver roll, and two to cross-reference the results on several charts in 3 separate books.

--Impeesa--


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## evileeyore (Jan 8, 2004)

A: Man lightbulbs have been so _Nerfed_...


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## baradtgnome (Jan 8, 2004)

there's a light out?


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## GuardianLurker (Jan 8, 2004)

A: {Number of replies to this thread}, or 42.


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## MerricB (Jan 8, 2004)

diaglo said:
			
		

> Q: How many gamers does it take to change a lightbulb?
> A: There is only one true lightbulb. All the other lightbulbs are just poor filaments of your imagination.




 

Very, very nice, Diaglo!

Cheers!


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## Kid Socrates (Jan 8, 2004)

Q: How many gamers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to physically change the lighbulb, one to make a horrible joke related to the changing of the lightbulb, one to follow up on the joke for ten minutes, and one to block the dice the DM throws at them for stretching a two-minute encounter into half an hour and ruining his carefully outlined plans for the day's session.

Although I really do like the "1d4" answer. Cracked me up.


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## Bran Blackbyrd (Jan 8, 2004)

Tsyr said:
			
		

> Q) How many Wheel of Time players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> 
> A) Three: One to remember how to screw in the bulb from a past life, one to go violently insane while trying to channel a light spell because he's a guy, and a woman to stand uselessly in the background and call them both woolheads, huff, cross her arms under her breasts, and possibly tug her braid.




ROFL. *_SNIFF_*

Q: How many Dragons Reborn does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That depends on whether the voice in my head is really Lew Therin Telamon or just me going crazy.
--
Q: How many Dragons Reborn does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Break it break them all must break them must must must break them all
break them and strike must strike quickly must strike now break it break it break it....
--
Q: How many Wheel of Time characters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least five; one to try and screw it in and think that the others could do a better job of it, two to think about doing it and think that the others could do a better job of it, one to unknowingly hinder the others' progress at changing the lightbulb and another to unwittingly harbor information that would make it easy to change the lightbulb if they'd only talk to eachother about $4!+ once in a #^@&$&ing while.


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## LordVyreth (Jan 8, 2004)

Only one but you shouldn't expect them to change it or revolve the plot around it getting changed.  If the players figure it out, they'll just accuse you of railroading and sulk in the darkness.


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## omnimpotent (Jan 8, 2004)

You're not getting me to shell out for a new edition lightbulb.  I'll just houserule the old one, it's not broken that badly.


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## Henry (Jan 8, 2004)

Q: How many Spycraft Characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Well, one to drive the ferrari off the top of the building. Then...


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## Henry (Jan 8, 2004)

Moved to a better home...


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## mythusmage (Jan 10, 2004)

One. But he needs to have the Int., feats, and levels necessary to cast the spell.


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## Mathew_Freeman (Jan 10, 2004)

How many Neverwinter Nights players does it take to change a lightbulb?

NWN players can't change lightbulbs, but there is a mod online that will not only enable lightbulb-changing, it also includes three prestige classes, seven new weapons and a graphics change that means you can view the elf woman naked!


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## kirinke (Jan 11, 2004)

how many gamers does it take to change a lightbulb.
none! 
the lightbulb is an illusion cast by a freakishly portrayed uber-villain who steals the DM's dice and replaces them with fixed dice so his character can stomp on the other characters. 
bwahahahahahahahahaha!


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## Malcolm (Jan 12, 2004)

thank you folks!  
this made my Monday morning much better.


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