# Wulf's Collected Story Hour -- FINAL UPDATE 12/25



## Wulf Ratbane

Welcome to Wulf's Story Hour!

You can find stats on the PC's for this story in the Rogues Gallery, or by following this link:

http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?threadid=119


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## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Intro)*

Be gentle, folks. Here's my first attempt.
I came into this campaign about 3/4 of the way through the Sunless Citadel. I stumbled my way through the rest of that adventure with absolutely no concept of why there were vicious kobolds, goblins, and... saplings?... assailing the party-- not that it really mattered much, as it allowed me to quickly establish my character as a vicious thug ready to bare steel with the merest provocation.

I finally really started to come into my character with Forge of Fury, which is where the tale begins...

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Wulf Ratbane (dwarven fighter/rogue)-- Wulf is a self-styled "dwarven defender," in open rebellion against the rules and regimen of his clan, exiled into the dark tunnels to protect them on his own terms. Wulf very much adheres to the notion that the ends justify the means; and although his goals are usually good-- at least as far as he understands the term-- his approach leaves much to be desired. Wulf is a newcomer to the group of heroes in the story-- captured by the goblins of the Sunless Citadel, and subsequently freed by the heroes, he has hitched his fortunes to theirs for a while. 

Keldas (elven wizard-- transmuter)-- Keldas is the logical, stoic academian of the group, as constant as his magic is varied, and a firm adherent to the rule of law and the pursuit of good. He was one of the first to gain Wulf's respect, for his consistently annoying habit of breaking the elven stereotype and actually proving himself valiant and (gasp!) useful in battle. Keldas has also shown himself to be Wulf's equal in wit-- countering the dwarf's constant sniping comments with straight-faced barbs of his own.

Halma (human barbarian)-- The human boy Halma is a former orc slave, now grown into a strapping young warrior. He speaks only halting common speech-- and though his mastery of the Orcish language is impressive, it is rarely exercised beyond a howl of rage as he charges into battle against his former captors, his mighty greatsword held high. Halma seems to trust Wulf completely; they share a hatred of evil and a love of battle that knows no moral or ethical bounds. So close is their partnership that Wulf has taken to calling the wild warrior, "My own personal Tonto." Just... not to his face.

Tamaloc (halfling rogue)-- No treasure is too small to spark his interest; no plan too convoluted to abandon; no battle too desperate to warrant his attention. Words fail to describe the abject uselessness of Tamaloc. Should he ever manage to prove himself a hero, it will be for nought: even his closest allies can't remember his name, and the bards would forever sing his praises as "the halfling" or simply, "You! Peck!"

Kellick (gnome druid, DM npc)-- The tiny Kellick heals the bodies and minds of the party. His neutrality is constantly put to the test as Wulf tries to lead the party astray, and Kellick is forced to act as counter-balance and lead them back. Despite that, Wulf is careful to stay on Kellick's good side-- he knows where his bread is buttered.

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Wulf Ratbane


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## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part I)*

Eager to put the Sunless Citadel behind them, the party's next adventure began in the humble fashion of so many others: hired on as guards to babysit a caravan of goods from one town to the next. The threat was orcs, and the pay was negligible-- but unlike many dwarves, Wulf's thirst is for battle and blood, not goods and gold-- and the party agreed to take the job.

The journey was short, so the action started quickly. The first night the party was ambushed by a pack of Worgs, fearlessly dashing in past the circled wagons to get at the horses inside. A couple of horses were quickly disemboweled before the heroes were even able to raise the call to arms. While the halfling tumbled to and fro beneath the wagons and frightful horses, looking to set up the elusive No-Risk Flank Attack(tm), Wulf leapt down from his watchpost atop a wagon. Axe and dagger sprang to his hands as goblin curses sprang to his lips-- "Come play wi' Wulf, little doggies!" The Worgs were none too eager to rise to his challenge, not even when faced with the equally daunting prospects of Halma's barbarian greatsword or Keldas' magic, and those who were not dead or dying were soon driven off. Dagger in hand and unbloodied, the halfling crept out from under the wagons and hurled some parting insults into the darkness.

The party was wary of another ambush, and as the caravan neared the next town, the caravan master informed them that the last "tricky spot" was a long narrow bridge across a deep chasm. "Yes, gentlemen, it is at this point that I would like to inform you that the wagons will only be able to cross one at a time, and there's little standing room to either side for guards. Sorry I didn't inform you sooner, I guess it didn't seem relevant."

The caravan was brought to a halt on the near side of the bridge, just as the sun was setting, parked on the road between two steep slopes. The keen-eyed halfling spotted some movement on the other side, and the heroes set about forming a plan to keep themselves from getting killed. Wulf suggested scouting across the bridge first, to take out any archers on the other side; Keldas toyed with the idea of a showy _Shield_ spell to draw their fire and make himself nigh invincible to their shots. Halma registered little opinion other than the usual "Smash Orcs! Now!" The halfling got that troublesome glint in his eye and ducked into one of the wagons. He emerged moments later, having used his amazing roguish ability to disguise himself as a terrifying orc... a convincing enough disguise, should you find yourself in need of a child-sized orc.

Suddenly, arrows started raining down onto the caravan from the slopes to the sides-- the ambush was here, on the near side of the bridge! Quick as a flash, Halma was racing up the hill, his furious battlecry winkling out the orcs from their hiding positions behind the rocks and shrubs. Working seamlessly with his ally, Wulf dashed up the opposite slope to prevent the crossfire from getting any worse, while Keldas climbed atop a wagon and cast his _Shield_ spell. The halfling spent a few precious moments berating the party, "You're ruining the plan! You think maybe just ONCE we could try to parlay with them? WHATEVER!"

Halma moved up the slopes and through the orcs effortlessly; Wulf slowly closed the distance while his sling sent half-pound hurtin' hurtling into the enemy. Keldas had drawn his deadly longbow and positioned his Shield against the majority of the orcish archers.

Despite the fact that the jig was clearly up, the battle was engaged, and the orcs were well aware of their presence, the halfling was belting out commands like an Orcish soprano: "Halt! We are your allies! Cease fiiiiiiiiiiiiire!"

With the heroes' warriors now well up on the slopes, the remaining orcs drew their axes and came out of hiding, dashing down the slopes to attack the caravan. A particularly large brute singled out Keldas, who was standing atop the wagon but still well within reach, as his next victim. As Wulf dispatched the last of his foes, he bellowed fighting orders down to the halfling rogue: "Protect the mage and the healer! Fight, damn yer, fight!"

Keldas and Kellick were sorely pressed. A swell of orcs surrounded them, but a well-timed _Charm Person_ brought one of the orc warriors over to the heroes' side for a moment. With one of the orcs charmed, and a strange orcish child tumbling about at his feet, the orcish leader hesitated. The halfling tumbled through his legs and behind him, hoping to set up a flank attack across from the charmed warrior-- only to realize that the situation was rather more complicated, with friends among friends among enemies. The leader turned to face him, and the halfling's tiny dagger (though wielded with impressive finesse) was no match for a great-axe; he was soon tumbling for his life again. The halfling seemed to have found his niche in life as Professional Distraction. Confusion reigned and the infighting lasted long enough for the heroes to triumph-- with two orcish prisoners as the prize of the day.

Wulf immediately busied himself with restraining Halma, his mind already working feverishly with the forms of torture he'd visit upon the orcs to extract the location of their lair-- and the difficulty he would have persuading the elf and the halfling that such unsavory measures were, in the long run, for the greater good. Halma was sent to cool off for a while, trying to wrap his mind around the concept that captives now meant more orcs to kill later.

Wulf paced around outside for a few moments, trying to figure out exactly how he could persuade his new friends to hand over the prisoners. It was always a touchy situation, but he'd been through this before-- back in the Sunless Citadel it took some time to explain that kobold women and children were damned by their nature, incapable of redemption, and that leaving them alive was irresponsible and negligent. Keldas and the halfling responded then with what their gods would likely deem a similarly irresponsible negligence, and turned their backs on the heroic butchery that ensued. Ahhh... Righteousness!

Bolstered by that past success, Wulf ducked into the covered wagon to press his case once again. To his delight and surprise he found the halfling, dagger out, threatening the eye of one of the prisoners. He folded his arms to watch, unable to understand the gutteral Orcish language of the interrogation-- but understanding all too well the implicit language of pain and blood. He could barely suppress his laughter as Keldas fired an _Acid Arrow_, point blank, onto the leg of the other prisoner. As the orc's leg slowly melted away beneath the acid, the halfling interrogated him with the ruthless efficiency that only a halfling rogue can muster-- like a sweet child's doll gone terribly, terribly wrong. The orc's long, agonizing cry echoed through the canyon. Ahhh... Righteousness!

Wulf was nearly bowled over as Kellick came charging into the wagon. "What in the Nine Hells is going ON in here? What are you DOING!?" Kellick quickly cast a healing spell on the orc before he lost life or limb, then proceeded to explain to Keldas that this was not the way that good and civilized people behaved. Surely the gods work in mysterious ways when a gnome druid is the voice of goodness and reason. 

Wulf quickly agreed. "Aye, we're a day out of town, we can hand 'em over to the local priest, and he'll have the truth out of 'em right quick-- an' in a much more peaceful an' understanding way, ta boot. Yer should be ashamed!"

"Ach, Kellick... Got any more healing?"


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## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part II)*

The next morning, the party arrived in town with the two orc prisoners in tow, firmly bound by Wulf's dwarf-scout over-and-under-double-sheepshag escape-proof knots. The local sherriff took charge of the prisoners, promised they'd have a quick death, and suggested that the party move on to talk to the local baron about the growing orc raider problem. A look passed between the sherriff and Wulf that clearly implied that any future orcs would be best dealt with out in the wilds-- frontier justice. Gotcha-- nod and a wink.

The halfling squabbled with himself for a while, demanding that HE be the one to go to the baron and speak on the party's behalf-- despite the fact that Halma had already expressed his intention to go sleep outside in the pastures, and Wulf would rather seek out the local blacksmith than spend time bandying words with the local fop. At Wulf's insistence, Keldas agreed to accompany the halfling-- to make sure he didn't try to cheat the rest of the party out of any reward.

The baron didn't waste any time hiring on the heroes to settle his orc problem. The orcs had made several successful raids, carting off scores of valuable breastplates and weapons, and their raids against the local merchants were becoming more bold and more successful. Their whereabouts were no secret-- they were operating out of the old dwarven forges, just inside that big mountain looming over the town. He offered the heroes salvage rights to anything the orcs might have, as well as the usual paltry sum of a few gold coins per man. The halfling stepped up and shrewdly failed to bargain him into double his rates, until Keldas finally spoke up and secured a simple agreement: a larger bounty for the head of the orc leader, and matching daily rates from the local merchants if we ended their problem. The baron agreed to the bounty and promised that he would speak to the local merchants.

The party settled down for a few days to prepare. Kelik and Halma spent their time lazing about out in the fields. Keldas retired to his room to study many of the items that party had picked up in the Sunless Citadel, and to scribe a few new spells into his spellbook. Wulf marched in to the local blacksmith and offered a strong pair of dwarven arms to man the bellows-- free of charge-- if the smith would agree to show him a few tricks and help him craft a masterwork chain shirt. The smith matched Wulf for tact and brevity, shrugged, and told him he could sleep on the floor with the other apprentices. Wulf dropped off his belongings in a flea-ridden side room filled with sooty-faced urchins. "Any of yer touch my stuff, I'll gut yer."

The halfling got right to work making the acquaintance of the local thieves' guild by striding through town asking random passerby, "Which way to the Thieves' Guild?" and, "What's a fellow got to do to find some POISON in this town? Helloooo? Anybody?"

A turn down a random side street finally answered his prayers. His keen halfling ears picked up the sound of a beetle scuttling out of the way of a footpad's step, and he turned to greet the two rogues who had been shadowing him. "Well it's about TIME. Take me to your leader."

"Ahh... Oh. Yes. Our leader is aware of your presence in town, and sent us to give you his warmest welcome. If you'd be so kind as to keep a low profile in the meantime, he'd like you to return to this spot an hour before sundown to meet him."

"Right. Gotcha. Thanks. Hey! Tell him to bring some poison. Don't worry, I'm in charge of the purse for my whole adventuring company, so I got plenty of money." And with that, the halfling skipped off to rejoin his comrades at the inn.

Several hours later, as the first stars started to peep out in the night sky, the halfling pushed his chair back from the table. He patted his over-ripe belly, puffed out his chest, and announced to the rest of the group that he might be a little late getting in. "Yeah," he said, arching his eyebrow arrogantly, "I have a meeting with the local guildmaster an hour after sundown. Yep, yep. Got a few supplies to pick up, maybe roll a couple of rubes, show the local boys a few tricks. Don't wait up, fellas."

The halfling returned to the appointed meeting place... two hours late. 

A local footpad was there to greet him. Despite the halfling's constant protests ("No, no, I distinctly remember he said an hour AFTER sundown. After. This SUCKS! He said AFTER!") the local dutifully explained that, being the guildmaster, and a thief, his boss was understandably A LITTLE PRE-OCCUPIED AFTER SUNDOWN! With better things to do than wait around at the beckon call of some unknown little peck!

Nevertheless, the halfling bowed and scraped and managed to set up a meeting for the next day. An hour before sundown. And not surprisingly, he was at the appointed meeting place well in advance of the scheduled time. The exact details of their conversation may never be known, but here is what the rest of the heroes were able to piece together from his disgruntled ramblings:

1) The local thieves' guildmaster does NOT sell poison to wandering pecks.

2) The local thieves' guildmaster is NOT willing to "loan out" magic daggers to wandering pecks in exchange for a promise of "something much cooler, just as soon as we get back from killing all those orcs."

3) The local thieves' guildmaster IS apparently willing to trust wandering pecks with details of plots against the local baron.

This last bit of info was discovered the next day, when the halfling excitedly told the rest of the group that they all HAD to go back to speak to the baron. The baron admitted the group to his audience chambers, but was only able to inform them that, as yet, he had not had any luck persuading the local merchants to up the reward-- but that perhaps a successful sortie onto the orc hideout would bring them around. To which the halfling replied, "Oh yeah? Well perhaps I have a little bit of information about YOU that you might be willing to pay for? Hmmm?"

The party watched in awed silence, as an ethereal bullseye seemed to appear in the air and hover, just between the halfling's shoulder blades.. "Yeah, you heard me, I know some folks in town and I just _might_ be willing to tell you a few things they told ME. For the right PRICE, of course."

One glance over his shoulder at the stunned and horrified looks on the faces of his compatriots, and the realization slowly sunk in. "Uhh... umm... Just kidding. Nevermind. Crazy halfling talk! Bye!"

The party geared up, eager to leave town. In a week's time, Keldas' spellbook was brimming with cool new spells, and Wulf had completed a masterwork chain shirt-- ahead of schedule and below cost. The halfling bought a few spare torches and a flask or two of greek fire, and the party slush fund was spent on a couple of healing potions for each of the warriors. They rejoined Kellick and Halma outside the city and started up the mountain. Wulf handed the chain shirt to Halma.

"Ey. Put this on, an' don't mention it. Just be there to save my arse, right?"


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## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part III)*

The journey to the mountain, a  trip of just over a day, was mostly uneventful. Kellick's animal companion, a large wolf named Misty, ranged widely and helped to keep the party out of trouble. The party decided to move off the trail and bed down for the night so they could tackle the fortress during the day. As they prepared to pack up camp the next morning, the halfling's keen ears picked up the sound of an orcish raiding party, and he and Wulf crept up into the high grass near the road to observe. A party of about half a dozen orcs were moving up the path towards the mountain. As the orcs marched past their position, the halfling leaned over to whisper to Wulf. "Well, *I* think maybe we should..."

"Die, ye bastards!" Wulf leapt out of hiding and started hurling javelins into the midst of the orcs. Hearing the call to battle, Halma swept up his greatsword and moved with superhuman speed towards the sound of battle. The orcs were already drawing javelins of their own to return fire, but in mere moments the raging barbarian in their midst had them desperately reaching for their axes again. Wulf moved closer, picking off any orcs who shied away from melee with the barbarian. It was over almost before it started, despite the fact that these orcs seemed... tougher... than the ones they'd seen previously. The breastplates they all wore had something to do with it.

While the halfling rifled through their pockets for loose change, Wulf pointed out the real treasure at hand-- six nice breastplates, probably worth about a hundred crowns a piece, brand new. Keldas helped him dig a hole just off the path to bury this unexpected windfall. The only downside was the realization that the mountain was crawling with well-armed, well-armored, well-trained orcs.

The group was none too eager to approach the mountain by the front path. Keldas sent his familiar, an owl, circling high over the mountain to report any sentry posts and other avenues of approach. The good news was that the orcs only had two guards at the front door. The bad news was that the front door seemed to be the only way to approach-- a long path up the mountain that fell away on one side to a nasty ravine. There was _one_thing, though... farther up the mountain there was a hole, a chimney of some sort, with smoke wisping out.

The party crept up in range of Keldas' bow, but didn't dare get any closer. Halma was chomping at the bit to charge the front gate and kill some orcs, and it was everything Wulf could do to persuade him to sit tight. Wulf suggested that he circle around the guard post and climb up the mountain to investigate the chimney. Ever practical, Keldas was ready to help.

"I'll keep a _Feather Fall_ handy in case you slip." It was a long way down to the bottom of that ravine.

"Ye daft fairy... the day a dwarf can't nick up the side of a bloody mountain is the day he deserves to die. Keep summat useful brewing for a change... like a fireball."

Wulf crept up the mountain, skillfully and quietly, and approached the chimney. A quick look confirmed that there was no way they'd get down it-- although it would be amusing to stuff the halfling down headfirst and wedge him about halfway. He returned to the group.

"Looks big enough for the halfling to fit down, if we grease him up good with lard first. I don't think the cookfires are burnin'. We'll just slip him in, an' he can come up the back way an' take out the guards."

"No way! NO WAY!"

"All right, all right, keep yer knickers on, we'll go with plan B then. You an' me, we'll just creep up to the front gate and take the guards out together, quiet like. One orc each. Right?"

Wulf explained the balance of the plan. The front path to the gate actually wound around a bit, so the rest of the party, with a bit of care, could move quietly up the path and still be out of sight of the guards, around the bend. No more than a few seconds mad-dash away from the scouts if they needed help. 

It was a tense few minutes as Wulf and the halfling moved stealthily up the path towards the mouth of the cave. The guards lazed about just inside, out of the sunlight. When they were close enough, the two rogues sprang-- Wulf with axe and dagger, the halfling with his own wee dagger dancing from side to side. Wulf dropped one orc with his axe and flipped his dagger over, ready to throw it at the halfling's target if necessary, but his target was already dead. Seemed the halfling had slit a throat or two in his time, after all.

A low whistle from the halfling brought the rest of the group running. They rounded the corner to find Wulf rolling the two corpses over the side of the ravine-- a sensible enough way to hide the evidence, should any more orcs approach-- but it brought a shrill cry from the halfling. "Did you loot those guys first? Aww..." He spent a few moments looking at the battered and broken corpses at the bottom of the ravine, calculating how long it would take to climb down and, as always, how risky it would be. "I'll come back for them later."

Wulf dug another gold crown out of his purse and tossed it over the side. "Make it worth yer while."

Wulf moved into the darkness of the cave, ahead of the group, and surveyed the winding stone steps that led deeper into the cave. The party urged him to hurry as he checked the steps for traps and kept them shambling slowly after him. Halma was especially impatient. Eventually they came to a set of doors, still ajar; beyond that a rope bridge stretched about thirty feet across a deep crevasse. On the opposite side they could see a few thick rock outcroppings, and beyond that, a set of ornate double doors. Wulf set about searching the bridge for traps, and tied off a safety line of his own to the bridgeposts. As he turned to the group, dark shadows moved on the other side of the bridge.

"ORCS!" Before anyone could stop him Halma was racing across the rope bridge. It bobbed wildly up and down and the party prayed that the youth's gangly clumsiness wouldn't send him headfirst into the crevasse-- but much to everyone's surprise, he made it across. The orcs barely had time to miss with their bows before Halma stepped up and killed both in one cleaving blow.

Keldas was ready with the obvious observation. "Well, that's one way to find out if it's safe to cross." He crossed over behind Halma, followed shortly by the halfling who immediately started rifling over the orc's bodies for hidden treasure. Kellick had a little trouble getting Misty to cross, and Wulf crossed over last. He tied off the other end of his safety rope to the bridge supports. His knots would hold, if the supports would. "Keep one hand on that as yer run across... if yer *have* to run, of course."

The party carefully moved past the double doors and into the room beyond, an atrium of sorts. Several passages led off into the darkness, and Wulf once again cursed the inconvenience of having to travel with topsiders and their torches. Anybody down one of those passages could see the torches and come running.

A soft cry from the other side of the room got his attention. "Help us! Help us!" The party crossed over and found two halflings locked in a cell, begging for freedom. The party looked to Wulf-- he was handy with locks.

"Could be a trick. Dopplegangers or summat. Let em rot."

The party's halfling stepped up, no slouch with a lockpick himself. "No, *I* got it, I got it." He fumbled with the lock for a moment until Wulf grabbed his shoulder. 

"Look, even if they're NOT dangerous, they're a lot better off in there than they are out here when the slaughter starts. We can come back for 'em when it's safe."

The party agreed with this logic-- but the captives didn't. "Nooooooooo! Please, you don't understand, they'll eeeeeeeeeeat us!"

Such sniveling cowardice. If he didn't already know better from their own little peck, Wulf would have been certain that such cowardice was a fiction cooked up by dopplegangers to lure the soft-hearted. The little halflings rattled the cage. "Let us out! Hurry!"

Orcish voices boomed out in broken common, "What's going on in there!? Quiet!" The guard rounded the corner just far enough to see the party standing there in their torchlight, and screamed out an ear-splitting alarm. "Intruders!" The sound of booted feet pounded through the halls.

"Back to the doors, quickly!" Keldas was already back at the rope bridge.

"Stop!" Wulf yelled. "If we fight from over there, we'll have no cover. We'll fight 'em here at the doors, and if we can't hold 'em back, then we cross the bridge and cut it behind us!" Wulf slammed the doors and spiked them shut.

Keldas cast Mage Armor, followed by a Shield, and readied his bow. The halfling strung his little short bow-- but was already eyeing his escape route. The faithful wolf Misty stood guard at the bridge, hackles raised. Wulf stood side by side with Halma, right at the doors. "We'll cut 'em down one at a time as they come through. Ach, Kellick! Yer just stand behind us and prop us up with healing, got it?"

It wasn't long before the pounding started on the doors, and the orcs slowly pushed them open despite the spikes. Wulf's axe sent the first unfortunate bastard howling to the floor, and Halma's sword swept across the doorway like a windmill. (A windmill of DEATH!)

Wulf cackled as orc after orc fell beneath their blades. Occassionally an arrow would sail past them into the throng of orcs at the door-- Keldas and the halfling pitching in. It was when the arrows started to come down thicker-- and much closer to his own ears-- that Wulf realized Misty's howling wasn't simply the excitement of battle.

A second contingent of orcs, led by a huge half-ogre of some kind, had taken a back way and come out through a secret door on the opposite side of the rope bridge.

"How the hell did yer miss THAT?" Wulf howled at the usually keen-eyed Keldas. The orcs were readying a second volley of arrows. Keldas moved to the edge of the bridge and levitated above Misty, who was holding the ground on the heroes' side of the bridge. While Wulf and Halma kept hacking at the first contingent of orcs at the doors, Keldas repositioned his Shield and bent his bow towards the orcs on the far side of the bridge, picking off the smaller ones and making an impressive and irresistable target for their fellows. Unfortunately, his Shield was too effective. Countless volleys bounced off harmlessly, and the mighty half-ogre grew impatient.

An orc drew his axe and tried to cross the bridge, but Misty snapped at him as he approached, tripping him up and sending him plunging to his death. There were no more volunteers for THAT duty, so the half-ogre called forward two wolves of his own. They trotted across the bridge and started in on Misty.

Wulf and Halma were keeping things under control at the doors, but they were slowly being worn down by the orcs. They didn't hit often, but they hit hard, and it was taking its toll. The situation was desperate.

And the halfling? He'd retreated behind the cover of one of the rock columns. ("Fight, damn yer, fight!") He was feverishly trying to tie an inch thick hemp rope into a knot around an arrow shaft. ("FIGHT!") Despite the fact that he obviously knew nothing about knots, ropes, arrows, or physics, he spent several precious moments locked in concentration on this single, monumental task. ("I'll kill yer myself if we live through this!") He had a PLAN.

Oblivious to the fact that his allies were slowly dying around him, the gods took pity, and he finally secured a rope to an arrow. At last! He sent it hurtling towards the huge half-ogre. Missed! ("Blood and bones, fight, dammit!") He reeled in his arrow and took another shot-- this time at an easier, less-nimble orc. Thunk! The arrow buried itself into the orc's breastplate. With a mighty heave the little halfling dragged the orc off his feet and into the crevasse. 

The halfling had a brief, shining moment of personal glory before he felt a tug, and realized that he was holding the other end of the rope. He was about to have his 70-pound body disappear into the crevasse right after the 200-pound body of the orc. He slipped towards the edge, unable to understand why he couldn't hold on to the rope (...closer...), why he couldn't simply give the rope a good tug so the arrow would pop out of the breastplate (...closer...). He'd be damned if he was going to go through all the trouble of tying ANOTHER rope onto an arrow. (...closer...) Oh! What if he didn't even HAVE another rope? (...almost!...)

"Ahhhh! Dammit! Noooooooooo..." Right at the edge of the crevasse, he finally let go. He watched sadly as his rope-arrow snaked out of sight into the darkness.

Wulf quickly looked around. Everyone was pretty well occupied. He could probably slip away for just a moment to give the halfling a quick boot over the edge... No one would see... Probably no one would care...

Unfortunately there was no time for such pleasant distractions. Behind the growing pile of orcs at the doors, another orc stepped up. Magical energies flashed in the air and there was a tense moment as Halma and Wulf fought off magical sleep. Trouble, indeed-- the orc witch was standing well behind her warriors. Wulf and Halma couldn't get at her if they wanted to. They bellowed at the useless halfling. 

"Shoot the witch!"

"I have a better idea!" The halfing was rummaging in his pack again. 

"SHOOT THE WITCH!"

"Let's see how she likes... THIS!" He came up with a vial of the viscous greek fire, heaved back his arm, and prepared to fling it over the swirling melee onto the witch behind. The world slowed to slow motion as the fighters watched the vial tumble end over end...

"Nooooooooo..." They'd been privy to his carelessness before, and bore the scars to prove it. Halma especially-- he'd developed an unnatural fear of fire since he'd started travelling with the halfling. He flinched instinctively as the vial sailed overhead...

...and splashed down perfectly onto the stones at the witch's feet. Her bodyguards fell in smoldering heaps and she ran shrieking back into the  darkness, still on fire.

Wulf dispatched the last of the orcs at the doors and Halma was off like a shot, his sword in one hand and a torch in the other. Wulf grabbed for him, but it was too late. 

"Ach. Well. No offense, friend, but it was nice knowing yer." Wulf slowly shut the doors and spiked them shut. "Good luck."

Wulf turned to view the battle still raging behind him. Misty was down; Keldas had dropped his bow at his feet and dropped down with his longsword to hold the bridge against the orcs' wolves. Wulf dashed forward and grabbed the elf's longbow, positioned himself behind him and started grabbing arrows out of his quiver, sending deadly shafts into the orcs on the far side. "Pick off the weak ones, peck. Yer better fight now or the next arrow has yer name on it."

Kellick was the next to go down. There was no way for him to stay covered, and still perform the selfless task of keeping the party healed. Wulf and Keldas were running out of stamina; even the halfling was taking his fair share of fire from the other side. Things had never looked so grim... when suddenly...

Halma came smashing through the secret door like a hammer! (A hammer of DEATH!) His greatsword had ample room on the other side of the bridge, and he cleaved through orcs with a skill and glee even Wulf could not match. The great half-ogre stepped up to fight Halma for the briefest of moments, before he took a staggering blow that made him think better of his decision. "Flee! Flee!" Their leader was off and running with some half-dozen orcs at his heels.

Wulf and Keldas worked quickly to dispatch their foes on the bridge, but not quick enough. They watched as the raging barbarian-- battered and bleeding from a dozen wounds-- was off in hot pursuit of his foes. Halma knew they were no match for his savage speed. The first straggler fell to his sword, while his comrades tried to widen the distance. The next straggler, too, went down. They were halfway down the mountain before the barbarian finally came to his senses and realized that, should they orcs turn on him in desperation, they would easily take him down en masse. 

Halma turned and sped back up the mountain to rejoin his friends.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part IV)*

Halma returned to find his friends in a sorry state. Nobody was dead-- but they were all hanging on by no more than a thread, Halma included. Their most pressing problem was the fact that Kellick was down, and with him, their healing. There was no way they could go on, and no way they could make it back to town, either. And they needed to move-- fast.

Wulf dashed into the next room and easily sprung the lock holding the halfling prisoners. "Get out." ("Heh heh... Try not to bump into that half-ogre on your way down the mountain...") The halflings took one look at Wulf and the rest of the battered heroes and wisely concluded that a friendly escort back to town was out of the question. They dashed out and headed for town-- and the party's own halfing looked more than ready to join them. 

Halma hoisted Kellick under one arm and Misty under the other, and surveyed the carnage. 

*Over forty dead orcs.*

Crom, count the dead, indeed. But if that was just the welcoming party, the depths of the lair were not going to be any picnic.

The party decided to move out into the wilderness, not far from the mountain-- but not on the path home, either. If the orcs were going to send out a revenge party, they were going to have to track them down. Strangely, there was no reprisal, and within a couple of days the party was back to full strength and ready to assault the lair again.

The party was doubly cautious, but there was an eerie silence as they returned to the mountain. No guards waited for them at the mouth of the cave. Once again Wulf checked every step leading into the great mountain, extra thorough-- and this time, no one complained. The party slowly moved on to the rope bridge. 

The bridge was cut. The bodies were gone. Wulf moved over to check the secret door for traps, when the halfling let out an agonizing wail. The party turned to see what terrible trap he'd sprung.

"I FORGOT TO LOOT ALL THOSE BODIES!"

Wulf silenced the halfling with a look and returned to his work on the secret door, eventually proclaiming it trap free. Halma stepped forward, well-used to the routine. "Open door now?"

Wulf and Keldas weren't sure. Maybe it would be better to get the bridge back up and go in the front door. Wulf felt certain he could climb across the side walls. Keldas didn't want to risk sending anyone across alone. Back and forth, they argued in hushed whispers, while the halfling paced the edge of the crevasse and wondered how many bodies were down there. 

"I kick door now." Before the party "leaders" could dispute his rash decision, Halma booted the door open and surprised a pair of orc guards who were obviously, at that very moment, contemplating doing the exact same thing to the heroes. They didn't last long. 

The party moved into the large room beyond. Keldas turned to Halma. "Is this the way you came before?"

"Aye, meant to ask yer about that... How did yer find your way back here?"

"Easy. Follow left hand wall."

"Good on yer, boy. Got a good head on yer shoulders-- keep it there."

"Yes, but do you recognize anything here?" Keldas wanted details. Any more guard rooms? A common room? Where were all the orcs?

"Dunno. Run through in dark. Drop torch to hold sword... kill orcs." Halma shrugged; the unlikely heroism of his solo dash through the orc lair was completely lost on him.

The party moved north through the deserted lair. A side passage led off to the right-- back to the atrium. Halma must have come that way. They continued north to a set of steps leading up into another hallway, where a statue kept solemn watch. The passage headed east, but turned north again rather quickly. A couple of doors branched off on the right, but the passage continued on and disappeared into the darkness ahead. Wulf cleared everyone out of the short hallway, posting Halma at one door, Keldas at another, and sending the halfling trotting up the hallway to keep an ear out to the north. "Just sit tight while I take a peek at this statue..."

"Right then..." Wulf rolled up his sleeves and checked it over. "If I know dwarf traps... an' I do... there ought to be a trigger plate here..." (click) "Bloody hell."

A cloud of poison gas puffed out of the statue and into the hallway. Wulf grit his teeth and waited for the burning to pass. "Now THAT'S how a dwarf finds a trap. (cough) All clear now, right." 

Wulf rejoined the party, waiting safely in the northern hallway. He moved to the first door and crouched down to check the lock. Not locked. No traps. No sound. No problem. "Kick the door, Halma."

Boot-- empty.

Next door. Not locked. No traps. No sound. No problem. "Again, Halma."

The orcs were ready and waiting. They loosed a pair of wolves onto the party and opened fire with their bows. A door across the room burst open, and the half-ogre leapt into the fray. "Who dares to challenge Big Ulfe?"

"Me again, ye daft bastard! Wulf Ratbane, back to finish the job!" Wulf took up position just outside the room, as Halma went into a rage and dashed in. Misty jumped past Wulf and crouched menacingly in the doorway to hold the spot that Halma had just vacated. With Wulf hurling javelins with both hands, and Halma already frenzied in their midst, the orcs were quickly put on the defensive. It looked to be an easy fight.

Unfortunately, things were not entirely as they seemed. The witch suddenly appeared in the corner, just as her spell took effect on Halma. Despite the hatred raging through his system, Halma's will faltered. The party watched helplessly as their front-line powerhouse slowly lowered his sword... and ran.

There was a mighty cheer from the orcs. Those with their axes drawn lashed out at the barbarian as he turned his back on them. He took several nasty wounds, stumbled, but kept going. It was all his friends could do to get out of his way as he burst out of the battle line and headed for the exit. They knew there was no way they would catch him.

Keldas was the first to regain his composure and react. He ordered everyone to back up and created a glittering, blinding cloud of dust in the doorway. Wulf and Misty stood just on the edge of the cloud and attacked anything foolish enough to charge through. A couple of wolves went down, but the orcs learned from their pets' mistake. When the cloud finally cleared, it was Big Ulfe who stepped through and dropped Misty in a single blow.

The halfling was maintaining his vigil to the north. ("Yep. All clear up here. Still... all... clear...")

This wasn't Wulf's kind of fight. He preferred a good honest "throttling from behind" to this "toe-to-toe with the enemy leader" business. But, if the party was going to survive, he was going to have to hold the line. Fortunately, he had Keldas at his back to help him. He felt the elf's light-fingered touch and energy infused his whole body. He'd seen this effect before-- _Rapid Strikes_, but he'd never been the lucky recipient. It was always Halma, the front line warrior, who got Keldas' enhancement spells. But this time, it was Wulf. He liked it. Oh, he liked it very much. His axe lashed out at an orcish-footsolider... then his dagger... and his axe again... He was suddenly the terrifying threshing machine he always fancied himself. ("Look ma! Two hands!")

Wulf fell back on his tried-and-true battle plan: Concentrate on the weakest link. He trusted to his incredible dwarven fortitude (and his rather un-dwarflike nimbleness) to weather the storm of blows that Big Ulfe rained down on him. And it worked. He took down every pissant warrior who dared to step up to the plate-- but was being slowly worn down by Big Ulfe. Every time the big half-ogre's axe came down, Wulf was certain it would be the last. He knew there was a fine line between a glancing blow and a nasty shot to the vitals.

Keldas-- who'd somehow never found the time to learn any flashy offensive spells, what with all his Transmutation studies-- used his trickery to _Reduce_ Big Ulfe to half his size. Granted, a _Magic Missile_ would have been more directly effective, but the _Reduce_ was a lifesaver. It gave Kellick time to drag Misty out of the fight and bind her wounds.

And the halfling maintained his vigil to the north. ("Nothing to worry about up here, guys! Yep... all... clear...")

The orcs were running out of warriors, but Wulf was running out of stamina. Even another glancing blow from Ulfe's axe would take him out. 

That axe... that was no orcish axe! At half size, Wulf could now see that Ulfe was wielding a normal battle-axe. Wulf could see the dwarven runes running across the blade, he could read the maker's mark: Durgeddin. So the orcs thought they could just take over a dwarven stronghold and loot their antiquities? Bloody hell they could! "Yer going r-r-right into the Book o' Grudges, ya p-r-rick!" Wulf was overcome with a renewed thirst for vengeance.

It didn't hurt that Wulf could hear Halma's footsteps returning up the hall-- it had a miraculous effect on his morale. Wulf leapt past the half-sized half-ogre and came up in a wide battle-stance behind him, and in mere moments Halma burst back into the fray. Ulfe was flanked-- a crazed barbarian on one side, and a bloodthirsty dwarven rogue on the other. May the Gods have pity on his soul.

Wulf struck first, and his ancestors smiled on the moment. His axe struck a vital spot and clove deep, deep, deep into the half-ogre's hide, dropping him to his knees. Keldas, ever the nimble opportunist, leapt into the room and drove his longsword into Ulfe's chest-- smiling with elven arrogance, as if to claim credit for the kill. Halma didn't have time to squabble over bragging rights-- there were still orcs to kill-- and he stalked across the room to kill the orc witch in a single blow. His greatsword made short work of the few orcs who tried to escape.

The halfling celebrated the sweet victory by returning to the room to go over the bodies and look for chests... and stuff. Wulf was pre-occupied with the battle axe Ulfe had been wielding, turning it over and over in his hands to admire the workmanship. There was no question that he'd lay claim to it. Nobody said a word, in fact.

Always handy with the obvious observation, Keldas stood over Wulf's shoulder, his trained gaze for all manner of the arcane carefully studying the runes covering the blade. 

"I think it's magic."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part V)*

Wulf took the axe and hacked the heads off the half-ogre and the witch, then tucked the bloody souvenirs into his belt. Keldas and the halfling were going over the rest of the haul-- a few sacks of coins, some gems, a spare weapon or two. Halma was already pacing the floor, ready to head out and continue his crusade.

Wulf moved up to the passage to the north, still wary, but a little unsettled by the lack of orc activity. This last fight was nothing compared to the first massive battle, and the lair was mostly empty. Surely, there had to be more orcs-- and a tougher leader-- somewhere. Big Ulfe and this band of riff-raff couldn't possibly account for all the trouble the town was having.

The northern caves were mostly raw, unworked stone, but they eventually wound around to a large dwarven hall. A huge staircase in the center of the floor descended into the darkness, and two huge metal doors stood ominously at the far end. 

The party made a wide berth around the staircase and moved up to check out the doors. The carvings on the doors attested to their dwarven craftsmanship. Wulf knelt down and pressed his ear to the door. Nothing. His eyes scanned the surface while his thick fingers sought out any hidden catches. Nothing. The dwarf was stumped.

"Safe? Open door now?" For Halma, every door was like a little birthday present he couldn't wait to open. There was always something interesting inside.

"Errrr... Aye. Safe enough." Wulf usually crouched behind Halma and waited to throw in his support, but something about this one told him to back away. ("Better yer than me...")

Wulf heard the inevitable _click_ as Halma opened the door, and a fountain of alchemist's fire suddenly poured out onto Halma's head and shoulders. This was much worse than anything the halfling had ever done-- this time Halma was at ground zero. He dropped and rolled, and Wulf jumped to help douse the flames, but there wasn't much they could do. Halma howled and sizzled until the alchemist's fire had burned itself out. Kellick moved quickly to cast some healing magic over the young barbarian. He was young and strong. He'd survive.

"Good dwarven trap, that. Not surprised I missed it-- sorry." Wulf caught the doors as they were closing so he could get a better look inside before the trap reset itself. There was a small opening behind the doors-- just a closet, really. Inside were two tanks of liquid, with two tubes that ran up to the top of the door frame. It looked like the two chemicals mixed as they sprayed onto the victim, combining in mid-air to form the volatile alchemist's fire. Wulf didn't know anything about alchemy, but he knew a good trap when he saw one. And he could certainly think of a few good uses for two big vats of flammable chemicals. He just needed a little more careful study before he was willing to risk moving either of those vats. 

Wulf cut a small length of rope off his roll and dipped it into the first chemical. Smelled a little funny, but he couldn't quite place the smell. Keldas came up behind him to lend his expertise. "Halma's going to be fine, I think. Kellick has him pretty well patched up. What are you doing with that rope?"

"Just a little test." Wulf was backing away from the door and eyeing the distance to the second vat. Toss a little piece of rope into the other vat, see what happens. Seemed to Wulf, there would have to be a limit to the reaction-- mix just a little bit of one chemical with the other, get just a little bit of fire.

"Wait a minute... No..." Keldas started backing away. Halma looked up in time to see Wulf readying his pitching arm. He turned on wobbly legs and started running as fast as he could. Wulf was only faintly aware of the chorus of screams behind him. (NO! NO NO NO NO!) He tossed the "fuse."

Sure, Wulf expected a little bit of an explosion, but he certainly wasn't expecting the tiny explosion from the rope to shatter both vats, causing a chain reaction as their contents spilled onto each other, mixed, and sent a huge fireball roaring up the hallway. Wulf's catlike reflexes saved him, and he tumbled out of the way just in time to watch Keldas take the full brunt of the expanding fireball right in the face. He was flung back like a ragdoll and didn't move. He just sort of sat there smoldering, defiantly hovering on death's door as if to say to Wulf, "I told you NOT to do that."

"Ach, for the love of..." Wulf stomped over and fished a healing draught out of his pack. "Drink this, ya big blubberin' girl."

Kellick scowled at Wulf. "I'm out of healing. You'll have to carry him back to town."

Halma was defiant. "No more doors! Fire BAD!"

The halfling raised an eyebrow. "That was COOL."

Wulf felt that Fate had once again dealt him an opportunity. He was, for the moment at least, the only voice of reason in the group. And he couldn't help but notice they were all looking at him, as if to say, 

*Please. Lead us.*

They'd been over every inch of the upper level, and hadn't found any more orcs. The orc menace couldn't possibly be over, but Wulf was in no hurry. They'd just have to head down onto the lower levels to find the rest of the orcs and their leader. Then they could get paid. If there was anything in life sweeter than the righteous butchery of evildoers, it was _getting paid_ for the righteous butchery of evildoers.

"Aye, then. We head back to town. Resupply, get some more healin' potions, come back an' find the leader. Let's go."

--------------

Their first stop back in town was with the baron. Wulf had confidently shouldered the burden of leadership, so he decided to head the delegation. He wasn't much on diplomacy, but he felt assured that his usual blunt approach would do just fine. After all, everybody respected honesty.

"Here, we brought yer some heads, " Wulf said, pulling the grim souvenirs from under his belt, "but there's probly more left, so we'll be going back-- just as soon as yer pay us." The dwarf stood with his new axe in one hand and his other hand knotted into a bloody fist in the orcs' topknots. He tossed the heads towards the baron so he could get a better look.

"Now... That big bastard there, gotta admit, not sure he's the leader, so don't feel like yer have to pay us the whole bounty right now. But..." He held up his axe. "I figure yer got some kind of perfumed fop around here what can tell me a little about this axe. I hate to disturb yer lordship's bard from an entire afternoon of the usual buggery, but I figure it's a fair trade. Fair is fair, right." Wulf bowed low, to emphasize his sincerity. This diplomacy business was a snap. ("Easy as goblin pie.")

Frankly, the baron seemed eager to help out. The audience was over almost as soon as it started-- to the party's satisfaction. They had a few more coins in their pockets, and Wulf's axe was being studied by the finest minds that perfumed foppery had to offer.

They stopped off at the inn to divide up the workload. Kellick was going to rest with Keldas, perhaps scribe a scroll or two while Keldas studied a few of the magic items they'd found; Halma was off to the countryside to chase livestock; the halfling was gone, nobody cared where; and Wulf went to visit the local priest to buy some more healing potions. He was well pleased to find an old dwarf in charge.

"Well met, Old Man! Praise Moradin," Wulf held his hand high in the sign of the hammer, "...an' long live the dwarves! Ahh.. Right, well, as yer probly know, we're the heroes the baron hired to rout the orcs out of the mountain up there. So seein' as how we're the hammers of righteousness and the anvils of goodness, or summat like that, yer ought to get handy with the healin' and the cut-rate prices. An' I don't think I even need to mention how pleased the Father would be if yer could help, in yer own feeble, aged, an' peaceful way, to speed up the cleansin' of His people's mountain. Yer gotta do what yer can, right? Ahh... Praise Moradin!" Wulf made the hammer sign again.

The old dwarf stared back at Wulf in that creepy, all-seeing, all-knowing way that only shriveled old priests can manage. He seemed to be weighing the very measure of Wulf's soul, who sat desperately trying to assume the proper look of piety, righteousness, and heroism. 

"Regular prices, see the acolyte on the way out." (Blood and bones! Damn priests!)

The party spent a few more days in preparation, feeling completely at their leisure to return to the mountain on their own time. Wulf purchased a fine pair of mules-- ostensibly to haul out all the treasure they were hoping to recover, but more specifically to haul _in_ several flasks of alchemist's fire and lamp oil. Keldas and Halma gave the mules a wide berth, but Wulf had no problem walking right next to them. He was fond of them, but didn't bother naming them, referring to them only as _the mules--_ a kind of emotional insurance against their inevitable demise. He looked over at _the halfling_ as he pondered this.

But by far his thoughts were preoccupied with the axe he'd recovered from the baron's loremasters. The maker's mark was indeed Durgeddin, and the axe's name was _Taranak._ They'd told him the axe would burst into flame if it struck just so; and that in fact, the wielder could cause it to flame up on command-- if he only knew the command word. Naturally, they hadn't been able to discover the command word, so the short trip to the mountain was made longer by Wulf's incessant tinkering with command words.

"Inferno!"

"Flame on!"

"Conflagration!"

Wulf looked around to make sure his companions weren't listening.

"Flambé!"


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part VI)*

Wulf carefully took the saddlebags off the mules and tied them up in the mouth of the cave with their feed bags. He rounded up the group to pass out alchemist's fire and oil, but everybody seemed a little skittish-- except the halfling, of course. The little pyromaniac grabbed two flasks of each and moved his tinderbox to his belt pouch, right next to a couple of torches he always kept handy. Wulf satisfied himself with just a couple of flasks of oil-- since Halma insisted he wouldn't stand anywhere near Wulf if he was carrying alchemist's fire. It was neat stuff, but nowhere near as useful as having a barbarian at your side.

They were surprised to find the upper caves still empty, but they moved on to the staircase nevertheless. The group crept closer to the gaping stairway and peered into the darkness. Wulf turned to the halfling. "Hear anything?"

"Sounds like... wings flapping. I think they're getting clo..."

A small swarm of leathery-winged creatures came flapping out of the darkness and swarmed over the party. Wulf saw one of the creatures land on Halma and insert a narrow tube-like mouth into his back. Almost immediately the creature flushed red as it sucked the blood out of the barbarian. Halma went white and a bit wobbly in the knees as the halfling jumped up and drew his dagger, trying to skewer the creature off the barbarian's back. "Hold still! I think I can stab it for you if you'd just hold still!"

The party watched with fascination as the halfling danced around the barbarian, trying to stab the creature on his back, when suddenly the air was split by the shrill sound of a woman screaming. Keldas turned quickly, his keen eyes trying to spot the source. "What the...?"

It was Wulf. One of the creatures had settled on his shoulder and was trying to poke its feeder tube through his armor. "Getthisfilthythingoffme! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Wulf dropped his axe and grabbed the critter with his bare hand. It struggled, squealed, and sunk its feeder tube into his hand, but Wulf quickly crushed the life out of it. He dropped the feathery abomination onto the ground as the rest of the creatures retreated back into the darkness.

The halfling had taken care of Halma and the whole group was staring at Wulf, who was busy sucking the blood off his wounded hand, mumbling. "...get that back where it belongs..."

Keldas was the first to speak. "Well, that was... different. Didn't know you were scared of anything-- let alone a little stirgy."

"Not scared... I just don't like... Well, look at HIM!" Wulf pointed at Halma, who was looking extremely pale and pekid. "No tellin' what kinds of nasty diseases these filthy vermin are spreadin' around. Just protective of my health, yer know-- don't want to end up all pasty-looking, like a namby elf. Hmph."

Wulf gathered himself and crept down the stairs ahead of the party, his eyes scanning the dark ceiling, his ears straining for the sound of flapping wings-- but it was too hard to hear over the sound of running water nearby. He grabbed the halfling and hauled him close. "Yer hear anything, tell me quick, right?"

"I don't hear anything... but something sure _smells_ funny..."

Reptilian shapes seemed to melt out of the walls. Trogs. Crude javelins sought out the two scouts-- the halfling tumbled away quickly, but Wulf stood his ground and took a shot or two with grim satisfaction. He calmly pulled out his own javelins and returned fire, establishing right away that this was his enemies' surest path to defeat. They got the message and pulled out stone axes to close.

By now Wulf expected Halma to be wading in amongst them, but the big barbarian was looking even worse than before-- doubled over, clutching his stomach in nausea. Keldas looked little better. Wulf quickly drew his axe and dagger and stepped back a bit to protect his allies. Halma rallied as soon as the troglodytes were close enough to threaten him, but there was little enthusiasm behind his blows. 

The situation got rapidly worse when a giant lizard was whipped up from the back ranks and sent in to attack the party. Wulf stepped up to intercept it and the halfling tumbled around behind it. The two rogues took it on together, each one stabbing it from behind as it turned to engage the other. Wulf struck a particularly telling blow and _Taranak_ exploded into flame. ("NOW we're cookin!") The lizard slumped to the floor but Wulf was afraid to relax his grip on the burning axe, lest it extinguish itself.

With Keldas and Kellick to help him, Halma had finished off all the trog warriors. He was still looking pale and nauseous when the fight ended. Wulf looked over in disgust. "What's wrong with yer boy?"

"Bad smell!"

"What?" Wulf sniffed. "That? I've ATE worse than that. Pull yerself together. What do yer expect when yer farm yerself out for the local vermin. See? Take care of yerself like I do and yer'll have the fortitude to ignore a lot worse than bad smells. Hmph."

Trog tracks led over to a small stream that disappeared under the wall. After some wrangling, the halfling was persuaded to strip down and wade into the chilly water to explore beyond. The stream cut through the wall into the next cavern-- it wasn't deep, and there was a bit of air at the top. The party crossed through-- Wulf last, holding _Taranak_ safely above the water.

They met very little resistance from troglodytes from that point on. With Wulf's axe adding punishing fire to his already vicious blows, and Halma able to resist any further nausea, they kept their distance and the party was able to explore the criss-crossing caverns full of streams. Wulf kept careful maps and steered the party in the right direction. Eventually they came upon a huge cavern filled with dwarven sarcophagi.

The halfling skipped out into the cavern and twirled around. "Yes! Now we're talking! Let's loot these coffins-- bound to be some more cool weapons buried with these dwarves..."He scanned the nameplates, looking for somebody who sounded important.

"How bout we don't?" Wulf stepped forward and stared the halfling down. 

"What?" The halfling honestly couldn't understand what was going on.

"Yer really think I'm going to let yer loot my ancestors?"

"WHAT!?"

"I said, yer not gonna loot these. Let's move on." Wulf pointed to the sloping path that led out the other side of the cavern.

"Now just hold on a minute! I bet you'd loot a HALFLING sarcophagus, wouldn't you?"

"Yer seem to fail to grasp the purpose of a sarcophagus. They're built to honor heroes and warriors. Why would *halflings* have a sarchophagus? Yer don't build a sarcophagus for farmers and thieves. Just toss 'em on the nearest compost heap and be done with it."

"Well, you didn't seem to have any objection to looting that elven crypt under the Sunless Citadel."

"Ach... It's not my fault Keldas didn't speak up. Yer come from a race where bloody _everybody_ fancies himself a prancin' prince, I guess yer lose respect for yer ancestors. Keldas wants to defile his own dead-- not my problem."

"Well, I say we take a VOTE on it. I say we loot these." 

"Suit yerself-- but yer should know, there's a guardian watching over these crypts."

"Oh yeah? What?"

"A bloodthirsty dwarf who's just _looking_ for an excuse."

Keldas stepped in to end the argument. "Let's respect the dead. Come on." He pointed the halfling to the opposite path.

"Fine!" The halfling stomped off down the path. "We're just going to WALK AWAY from probably the best treas-AAAAAH!"

The halfling was halfway down the sloping path when the wall beside him exploded. Some new kind of creature lashed out of the hole and grabbed him with four tentacles, hauling him closer where its beak shredded his armor and tore into his flesh.

The halfling struggled and tried to flick his dagger out of its wrist sheath. Halma dashed forward and slashed at the creature, but his mighty greatsword bounced off its hide. It was unharmed.

Uh oh.

The halfling gave up on his dagger and started fishing for his alchemist's fire, but the creature gave another mighty snap and dropped his bleeding, battered body onto the stones. The creature flailed about, looking for more live prey.

Wulf had the only magic weapon in the party. He dashed forward and laid _Taranak_ into the creature, and was rewarded as a gash appeared across its hide-- not much, but it was something. In return the creature focused its attention on Wulf, wounding him badly. Halma saw his friend in jeopardy and dashed forward, hoping to distract the creature; Keldas prepared to cast _Rapid Strikes_ on Wulf. The halfling just lay there, pouring his life's blood out onto the stones. Everybody had something more important to do than drag his body out from underfoot and bind his wounds. In moments, the halfling would be dead.

Yep. Mere... moments. Just a few... seconds... more.

"Oh for the love of..." Kellick moved forward, risking the creature's grasp as he focused all his attention on healing the little halfing's wounds. He pulled the halfling to safety and watched over him while the party finished off the worm creature.

"Yer saved his life, Kellick." Wulf frowned.

"I know." Kellick frowned too. "I just... I just couldn't let him die. Who knows? You'll see. Someday, when I lie at death's door, gasping my last breath, he'll be there to return the favor."

-------------

DM: "The crypt is full of statues of elven warriors."
Keldas: "How realistic are the statues?"
Wulf: "Not very. He said they were elven _warriors_."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part VII)*

A few healing potions later, the party continued down the path, which emptied into a huge cavern with a stout iron door at one end. Wulf took a quick look at the lock-- dwarven craftsmanship-- and decided that it was better to leave a locked door behind them than an open passage. The party moved on through the large cavern and up into the smaller galleries above, where more grick awaited them. Wulf had the only weapon capable of piercing their rubbery hides, so he moved up front and left the party a few paces behind. He wasn't particularly happy about being grick-bait, but then he'd be damned if he'd sully the scout's honor with a lot of peck-like whining and groveling. It was tough work. Despite the fact that they could hear the grick tunneling through the walls, and that they were all wary and traveling with weapons bared, they were constantly surprised by grick bursting from the walls around them. It took its toll on Wulf, but fortunately Kellick was around to keep him healed.

The halfling's brush with death, as well as the constant threat from the grick, put the whole party in a rather sombre mood, and their own mortality was the pre-eminent topic of conversation. Kellick insisted that, should he ever go to that big Grove in the Sky, the party was under no circumstances to disturb his eternal rest by _Raising_ him from the dead-- no, nor even _Reincarnating_ him-- NO, not even as a badger, dire or otherwise. Wulf agreed and promised that he'd personally make sure Kellick was properly "planted" to nourish the earth. Maybe even tip back a brew or two in Kellick's honor and add a little extra fertilizer. Kellick seemed satisfied but the dark mood never left him.

The party spent a while longer cleaning out the caves-- more grick, more trogs, some yellow mold and even a roper-- leaving only the iron door between them and the unknown. Wulf tried his lockpicks on the door but was confounded by the clever craftsmanship. Keldas suggested a return to town for some _Knock_ scrolls as well as more supplies.

The mules were still doing fine, still happily tethered up in the cave entrance-- evidence (as if they still needed it) that the orcs were gone for good. They loaded up the treasure they'd accumulated and returned to town.

While Wulf crafted another masterwork chain shirt for himself, Keldas took a little time out to study _Taranak_ and was able to discover the command word.

*DM: Uhh... The command is the dwarven word for ‘the molten rock at the heart of the volcano.’ 
Wulf: Right. Which is…?
DM: [stares blankly]
Wulf: Uhh… Right. I say ‘the dwarven word for the molten rock at the heart of the volcano.’
DM: Right. The axe bursts into flame.
Wulf: Right. Ok!*

Another quick visit with the Old Man and the party was once again off to the mountain, their packs bulging variously with oil, healing potions, and scrolls. They quickly moved through the deserted upper caves and stopped before the stout iron door leading to the unknown. Wulf pulled Halma aside to give Keldas access to the door.

"Right then. _Knock_ 'er open."

"Well, I would... only I don't have a _Knock_ spell ready."

"Yer spent _days_ up in yer room scribblin' away... I _thought_ yer were making a scroll to get past this door. We talked about this on the way back!"

"Well, I didn't get to it. I was busy scribing _new_ spells into my spellbook."

"This is the _last_ door we have to pass to get any further! Ach, for the love of..." Wulf grabbed his locksmith's tools and stepped up to the door to take another look at the lock. Still, no clue. He turned and started back the way they came.

"Where are you going?"

"Well I'm not bloody sleepin' outside the bloody door so who-knows-bloody-what can bust out and beat us-- while yer got yer nose in yer damn books! Back to the top, let's go!"

...

A few hours later the party was past the door, descending narrow steps into a small room guarded by three large statues: dour dwarven warriors, with wide bronze axes held high. Each ominous statue stood impassively watching a different exit.

Wulf halted the party at the entrance. "Better let a dwarf go first."

"Careful! This could be a trap!" the halfling chimed in. Wulf turned to stare at him for a moment before walking in.

"If there be spirits here, this is Wulf Ra-... ahh... Wulf Kraggson, son of Krag Bladebeard, an' I'm here to reclaim these halls for dwarven kin! Let none defile the works of Durgeddin!" He waited a moment for something to happen. "Hmm... And, praise Moradin!"

Wulf sniffed. "Right. That oughtter do it. Yer can come on in now."

The party remained huddled outside the room.

Wulf moved over to the door to his left and crouched down to check it for traps, his nimble fingers once again crawling expertly over the surface and around the edges, looking for the inevitable trip-wire or latch that would... <click>

"Oh bloody..."

There was a screech of metal as the huge bronze statue swung its axe down in a wide arc, slicing through Wulf's armor and gouging into his shoulder. He rolled with the blow as best he could and quickly turned so he could watch the mechanism reset itself. The arm had already returned to its former position but Wulf could see the tell-tale signs of the clockwork where it had disturbed the dust. "Clever work, that..."

Satisfied that the danger in the room wasn't other-worldly, the rest of the party crept in. The halfling, fancying himself something of a scout himself, moved over to check out the other two doors.

"Get _back..._" Wulf grabbed the halfling and pulled him away. 

"Hey, look, just because YOU lack the skill to find a trap doesn't mean I do."

"I found 'er just fine, peck. Now get out of the way while I disable this next one."

"Suit yourself, but I can see from here that the trip wires are _very_ cleverly hidden and it is going to take _phenomenal_ dexterity to get past... Hey... whatcha doing?"

Wulf climbed up onto the shoulders of the second bronze statue and brought _Taranak_ up in a blazing arc, then down onto the shaft of the axe. Whang! Taranak was unharmed, but the statue was scored. Wulf shrugged and finished dis-arming the trap. Clang! Bang! Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bink.

Keldas was scowling up at him. "Well, they know we're here NOW I guess."

"Let 'em know! Let 'em come!" Wulf climbed up onto the shoulders of the last statue to repeat the job. "That's right! (bang) Wulf (clang) Ratbane is here (bang) with fire and axe (whang), to purge any of yer (bang) defilers who fancy a righteous taste o' boot!" (bink bink bink...)

Wulf hopped down and opened both doors, stepping easily out of reach of the weaponless statues. Both doors opened onto a solid wall, but Keldas spotted a secret door behind the third one. Once again, the party moved through and entered a narrow hallway, with barely enough room for one person at a time to pass. Another door awaited them on other side, but as they reached the center of the short passage, a woman's voice cried out, "Intruders! Turn back!"

The voice spoke dwarven, but with a strange accent Wulf could not place. Perhaps it was simply an older dialect, from when Durgeddin still walked his halls. Keldas confirmed that it was some kind of magic message-- it might very well have been around for thousands of years. Wulf shrugged and opened the second door. 

It opened onto a grand hall, stretching away into the darkness to a raised platform with a throne. Huge stone pillars reached into the blackness above, arching up to support what Wulf could only imagine was an intricately carved dome. It was dwarven workmanship at its finest-- and very old.

The creepy, old, strangely-accented woman's voice spoke again. "Who are you to intrude into our halls?" Wulf stepped alone into the room. Creepy disembodied voices? No problem. He raised his arms and his eyes to the dark ceiling.

"Oh mighty spirits of my ancestors! I am called Wulf, an' I'm here to defend these halls against any who would defile them!"

"Turn back. _We_ guard these halls now."

Wulf turned to look at his companions for help. They all shrugged and pointed back at him, giving him the thumbs up. ("You're doing great!")

"Uhh... Who are yer, again, exactly? Is this the spirit of Durgeddin?"

"Durgeddin was a weak fool, to allow these halls to fall to the orcs! Now we have reclaimed them. You are not needed here. Turn back-- or you will all pay dearly!"

"Oh _really_?" Wulf hitched his thumbs into his belt and took a step forward. "Now listen to me, yer creepy old bi-- ack!"

A half-dozen crossbow bolts sprouted in Wulf's chest and arms as duergar warriors appeared from thin air. Wulf was instantly knocked to the ground and lay dying. The smug look on the female duergar was the last thing he saw.

The agony! One minute, a proud dwarven warrior in the prime of his life; the next moment, flat on his back, lying there helplessly as his barbarian buddy trampled his battered body in a mad dash to slaughter. Well, come to think of it, that wasn't so bad after all. He could hear the sounds of battle as the duergar were killed or driven off. Kellick propped him up and plied him with healing potions, and Wulf was soon back on his feet. 

"Praise... Nature! Or the grass, or... ach, ferkit... Whatever..." He patted Kellick on the head and swept up his axe to follow his comrades. 

The duergar had fled to the far end of the hall and out a side door. They posted Misty in the hall to guard their backs and booted the door in hot pursuit.

The door opened onto Durgeddin's forges, and the party was surprised to find them blazing hot, some with blackened blades still lying in the coals. They had little time to gawk at this interesting turn of events, for almost immediately duergar warriors sprang onto them with longswords. Behind the forges and across a narrow stream, the duergar woman was directing her warriors-- and preparing to cast a spell.

Naturally, Halma was the first into the room, desperate to cut a path right to the sorceress, but he was soon surrounded by warriors. Kellick and the halfling moved in and off to the left; Wulf got out his sling and started trying to pelt the sorceress, who was soon protected by multiple glimmering images. Keldas stepped just inside the doorway, with Misty guarding the door at his back, and started trying to conjure up some counter magic. 

The party soon found themselves facing bigger problems. Without warning, the duergar doubled or tripled in size. The freakishly huge duergar were suddenly deadly effective, and their swords struck with a force that could fell a bull. 

Halma managed to kill a couple of warriors, but they concentrated their attacks on him and soon brought the naive young warrior to his knees. There was a yelp from the doorway, and suddenly more duergar were pouring into the room at their backs. Keldas was quickly surrounded. Wulf watched with admiration as the elf dropped his pouch of spell components and his longsword came whistling out in a flash of silver. The furious elf charged in, catching the duergar off guard for a moment, but soon he, too, lay bleeding on the floor.

Wulf drew axe and dagger and stepped onto the bridge across the stream, trying to keep the enemy from surrounding him. A warrior stood between Wulf and the duergar sorceress. Wulf brought his axe down on the warrior and used his dagger on the sorceress, trying to whittle down her mirrored images. 

The halfling was tumbling around the center of the room, dashing in to stab the enemy in the flanks whenever the opportunity presented itself-- and tossing vials of alchemist's fire when they did not. Before long, a large warrior with a double-bladed sword stepped up to engage the halfling, and in mere moments, the peck was sprawled across the floor.

Wulf held his position on the bridge. The sorceress' familiar, a rat, kept nipping at Wulf's flank, delivering shocking bolts of electricity through a magical link. Try as he might, Wulf could not afford to ignore the rat to concentrate on the sorceress. On the other hand, he didn't want to kill the oversized critter and allow the double-sword warrior to step onto the bridge and into his flank.

The warrior summed up the situation and simply _jumped_ across the stream, onto Wulf's other flank. (Didn't think of that.) The little rat seemed to laugh.

"All right yer prick... time ter meet Mr. Ratbane..." Wulf slashed at the rat with the fiery _Taranak_, but the rat nimbly dashed aside-- to be pinned against the ground the dagger in Wulf's other hand. "Works ever' time." 

Little time to celebrate-- Wulf still had to contend with two warriors and the sorceress.

The halfling suddenly sat up-- "Ha! I was faking! Suckers! Ha ha ha!"-- and pulled out his last flask of oil. He was long since out of alchemist's fire, but he tossed the oil across the blazing forges and onto the duergar across the room. Wulf saw that Kellick was backed against the wall there, desperately trying to use a _Flaming Sphere_ to hold off two warriors intent on flanking him. The ball of fire danced from side to side, scorching each of the duergar in turn, but they were able to keep up their attacks on the little gnome until Kellick, too, fell. The angry warriors turned to attack the halfling who had doused them with oil. They charged, chasing the halfling around the forges, until one of them fell over dead from the residue of the burning oil.

Wulf shouted to the halfling. "Quick! Save Kellick! Use yer potion! I got that one for yer!" While the red-hot _Taranak_ kept his opponents at bay, Wulf flipped his dagger over and prepared to hurl it backhanded at the last warrior out on the main floor.

"No way! Too dangerous! He can wait!" The halfling drew his dagger and danced about with the last warrior, looking for an opportunity. 

Wulf had no choice but to turn his attention back to his own opponents. The sorceress stepped away and vanished, leaving a furious Wulf to deal with her underlings. In just a few short strokes his axe and dagger had finished off the last of the warriors-- but he could hear the invisible sorceress retreating over a dark cliff at the north end of the forges. 

Wulf wasted no time on what could not be helped, and concentrated on what could. He charged back across the bridge and helped the halfling finish off the last warrior. 

"Now! Grab a potion for Kellick! Quick!"

The halfling rummaged through Keldas' pack and came up with a healing draft. He raced across the floor to check on Kellick, while Wulf checked Halma and Keldas for vitals. They'd make it. Halma was merely knocked out, and Keldas could be brought back almost to full strength with a single healing draught. 

And Kellick?

The loyal gnome had gasped his last breath while the halfling was tumbling about with the last warrior. If he'd acted a moment sooner, Kellick would have made it.

The silence on the other side of the room spoke volumes. Wulf looked up from Keldas and locked eyes with the halfling. One pair of eyes, grim and furious. The other pair widened with sudden, frightening realization.

It was just the two of them, now. Alone.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Part VIII)*

Kellick was dead, and the halfling was to blame. 

Wulf wrestled with the moral dilemma set before him. By all that was good and right in the universe, the halfling deserved to die. He _needed_ to die; it was a karmic certainty that Wulf felt down to his bones. But the rest of the party was unconscious, and Wulf felt the burden of the responsibility settling uncomfortably onto his shoulders. He could see the peck's beady little eyes flicking towards the exit, measuring the paces to safety. The _right_ thing to do was to finish him off now.

Wulf searched through his backpack for a healing draught. He could drink it now, and even battered as he was, the sneaky little peck was no match for him in a stand-up fight. Wulf didn't like stand-up fights. He itched to throttle the little bastard in his sleep.

The problem was, he _needed_ the halfling right now-- more than the halfling _needed_ to die. Wulf sighed at his lack of moral strength. Like so many times before, what was good and right took a back seat to Wulf's own self-interests. There were more duergar roaming around the halls-- he felt sure he wouldn't make it out alone.

Wulf slowly unknitted his furious brows and put away his weapons to set the halfling at ease. "Get over here and make yerself useful. Get Keldas back on his feet." He eased Halma up and poured the last drops of his healing potion down his friend's throat.

The halfling seemed satisfied that he was in no immediate danger, and he quickly scuttled over to restore Keldas to consciousness as well. Wulf brought his groggy comrades up to speed. 

"The halfling let Kellick die. We gotta get out o' here."

Wulf heaved Kellick's tiny, broken body under one arm, and set _Taranak_ ablaze in his other hand. "Let's go."

They nearly tripped over Misty's body on the way out. Keldas stopped them. "We should get Misty too; bury them together."

"Yer wastin' time on a dead wolf?"

"Misty was a valuable ally through many battles. How many times did she come to your aid?"

"Just doin' what she was trained to do, that's all. Yer gonna carry her, fine. Cause we got no time to waste." Wulf kept moving through the great hall. The halfling didn't seem to care, either; he had nothing to say and was already on the way out.

Keldas struggled, trying to heave the big wolf across his back. "I'm not leaving her here." It was easy to forget that, at heart, Keldas was an arrogant, superior, and utterly intolerable elf. Wulf was somewhat grateful for the reminder.

Halma stopped and easily heaved the carcass over one shoulder. "I carry. Now go."

Wulf was in a sour mood. The halfling still walked this world among the quick, an affront to the gods-- and Wulf felt personally responsible. He struggled to find patience with Keldas. "Fine, fine. We'll build the damn wolf a sarcophagus-- ain't that right, peck?"

They set out down the mountain. Wulf led them off the path to the hole where they'd previously buried their cache of  breastplates. "Let's bury Kellick right here. It's a good spot. Keep his body near the place where his soul parted ways." He dumped the body into the hole. "Godspeed,  Kellick."

Halma slung Misty into the hole as well. There was barely room for the two of them. Wulf started looking around for rocks to build a cairn over the shallow grave.

Keldas sighed. "I don't suppose you could be bothered to dig a _fresh_ grave for each of them?"

-------------

The long walk home was grim and silent. Wulf spent his time at the halfling's side. "Some things are gonna change, peck. Yer gonna make up for what yer did. Yer gonna learn to fight if I have to kill yer."

True to his word, Wulf spent his days training with the little peck, who turned out to be a surprisingly apt pupil. Wulf gave up trying to teach him how to put his strength behind his dagger thrusts, since it was obvious the halfling was long on agility and short on strength. He had a natural talent for finding the weakness in his opponent's defenses, weaving his little dagger in and out with finesse.

"Not bad. Now use yer other hand." Wulf forced the halfling to switch hands, and when he'd mastered that, showed him how to fight with a dagger in each hand. It was frighteningly effective. 

The training wasn't without its benefits for Wulf, too. The halfing's sparring kept him constantly on his toes, and Wulf soon learned to anticipate the danger, often dodging before the halfling's strike had even begun. It was a useful talent.

But Wulf hadn't forgotten or forgiven. Each night he sat with Halma, learning a few phrases of Giant-kind. Wulf was eager to share a common language with Halma-- one that the rest of the group couldn't understand. Wulf felt that Halma was the only one he could really trust, when the time came to do what must be done. 

Wulf made one last trip to the old man to explain their situation and beg for help.

"Well, old man, Durgeddin's halls are full of duergar. Yer a dwarf, I know yer can't like that. Are yer finally willing to help us or not? The damn gnome up and died on us. We need some cheap healin' if yer expect us to go back and do Moradin's work."

"Duergar? This is dire news indeed. Healing potions alone will not suffice; no doubt you'll need a cleric of Moradin to reconsecrate the halls."

"Now yer talking! Pack yer bags and fire up the _Flame Strike_, old man!"

"Oh no! I won't be going myself! Heavens, no. I can send an acolyte, though, that Moradin's strength and protection may go with you. Diessa!"

The curtains parted and a young female dwarf stepped into the room.

Wulf raised one eyebrow. "How YOU doin'?"

-----------------

Wulf was in much better spirits when at last they set out for the mountain again, despite the fact that it was pointless trying chat up Diessa. Her only concern was reclaiming the halls for the glory of Moradin-- and Wulf had little luck convincing her of his devotion. He scraped the corners of his mind for the proper words, but he'd paid little attention religion as a child and even less through his adult life. 

"Praise Moradin!" He made his fist into the sign of the hammer. He was _sure_ there was something about a hammer. Or a fist.

Diessa was unmoved.  Wulf was a little disappointed that he'd had more rapport with Kellick than he could muster with one of his own people-- and a lady at that. He shrugged. In the end, blood and battle were his loves. He had little use for religion and even less for romance-- either or both could be bent to his needs, and he was happy.

"Look... Yer just take care of me, and I'll take care of yer, ok?"

Once again the group made their way down to the Great Hall, once again an alarm called out a warning at their approach, and once again, they poured into the Great Hall to do battle. 

This time, the duergar had reinforcements. A dozen warriors, backed up by their sorceress leader. No problem-- the party met them blow for blow. It was when the _drow_ stepped out from behind the dais that the party started to re-assess the situation.

Drow-- one male, one female-- pulling out all the old tricks. Darkness, invisibility, and a bevy of unholy spells made the battle more desperate. Diessa did her best to counter the evil priestess and protect her party. Keldas was livid, eschewing his spells and drawing his sword to do battle face to face. The drow were unimpressed by his headlong charge, hurling insults and striking back with sword and mace, but when Halma joined the battle, and Wulf and the halfling moved into place on their flanks, their resolve crumbled. The duergar chieftain threw warriors into the fray to cover their escape-- invisibly, once again. The heroes were frustrated once more-- eventually victorious over the warriors, but not the leaders, and too wounded to risk tracking down an invisible foe. They retired to the surface caves to rest-- and plan a more successful assault.

It was clear that Diessa would prepare an _Invisibility Purge_ as well as _Dispel Magic._ Wulf stood over Keldas' shoulder and did his best to understand his spellbook, annoying the wizard with his constant kibitzing and second-guessing of his spell preparation. 

"Yer takin' _Rapid Strikes,_ right?"

"Yeah! Rapid strikes!" Halma joined in, lobbying hard for what Wulf called "Fightin' Smack."

"Maybe I'll take one. I want to be ready with _Glitterdust,_ though." 

"What!?" In the countless times Keldas had tried to use Glitterdust to reveal invisible foes, he'd always guessed their location wrong and wasted the spell. "That thing is useless! Give us webs and acid arrows! Yer need some _real_ smack if yer want to fight drow!"

Wulf gave up and went to rest against the wall while the spellcasters prepared. 

--------------

The party crept back down to the Great Hall-- no alarm awaited them in the entry. They crept into the hall, wary of invisible ambushers, but the hall was silent. They could still hear the sound of the forges being worked off to the west, but they opted to enter the door at the end of the hall, behind the dais-- from whence they'd seen the drow arrive before. 

The party gathered up quietly and burst suddenly into the small room. The duergar sorceress was there, flanked by the drow and a few duergar warriors. She stood and spoke to the party. "You should not have returned!" Crossbows creaked as the warriors leveled them at the party.

Wulf quickly stepped to the front. "Hold yer fire!" The duergar hesitated just long enough for Wulf to sense an opportunity. They were willing to parlay? The situation was tense, so Wulf proceeded with the utmost diplomacy.

"Right. Look. Yer fight pretty good, and we can fight again if yer want, but yer know we're just gonna keep killing yer boys off and comin' back. And maybe yer might get lucky and kill another one of us. Nobody wants that, right?"

"What do you propose, then?" The warriors eased their aim just a little. 

Wulf glanced at the drow and took another bold step forward. He spoke quickly in Undercommon, trying to remember the right words, and  addressing the priestess directly. "Aluvé! We make a deal. We can fight. You pay us good, we do not kill you. Kill whoever you want."

The drow priestess spoke up and gestured at Keldas. "You consort with our hated brethren. Why should we trust you?"

Wulf was pretty sure his comrades couldn't understand what was being said, but he glanced back just the same. They looked nervous and confused-- Keldas looked angry, but he wisely held his tongue. Wulf plowed on, speaking comfortably in Undercommon as the old language started to come back to him.

"Who do you think is in charge? An elf, a peck, a boy, and a woman. And then there is me. Do not worry about them."

Halma was fidgeting, his sword quivering. He whispered to Wulf, "What you say to bad elves?"

Wulf quickly spoke to the priestess, switching for a moment to the gutteral Giant tongue. "It help if you speak Giant. You speak?"

The drow male snapped at Wulf. "Stop grunting at her with that gibberish! Show some respect!"

Wulf chuckled to himself and turned to Halma, whispering in their shared language. "It's ok, we not fight them now, come kill later... Good?" Halma nodded. 

Wulf turned back to the priestess. "The boy respects your power. We do not want to kill any more of you in pointless battles. We only want to pass by to plunder the deeper halls. You see the value of a truce?"

The drow conferred for a moment with the duergar sorceress. At length she spoke up. "We see the wisdom of a truce at this time. The halls to the west contain many undead, and we do not wish to deal with them at this time. You may try your luck there. If you do not disturb us here or in the forges to the east, you may keep what plunder you may find."

Wulf bowed low. 

The drow priestess spoke, almost as an afterthought, "And should you seek out the deeper levels, you will find a young dragon that has taken up residence there. She has some small amount of treasure you may wish to recover."

Wulf nearly fell over in his surprise. A wh-- did she say?-- Wulf composed himself. "Very well. Thank you. Farewell."

Wulf turned and hustled his comrades back out the door and into the Great Hall. Keldas spoke up immediately. "Look, I don't know what that was all about, but I am _not_ making any alliance with drow-- as if we could trust them!"

"Quit yer blubbering! I just bought us some time, that's all. They say there's some undead to the west. It's probably a trap, but we can plunder that first, get stronger, then come back and murder these *****s."

Keldas' rigid morality got the better of him. "I don't like going back on my word!"

"Yer just said yer weren't going to make a deal with drow! So there's no word to go back on, right?"

"Fine!" Once again Wulf had successfully led Keldas through a moral crisis. It was a good feeling to help his friend through his moments of doubt.

"Yer all should know... there's one more thing. Seems there's a dragon down deeper." Wulf didn't wait for their reactions, but headed to the doors to the western crypts. "Right then, let's go get some undead."

---------------

The party was ever wary of a duergar double-cross that never materialized. True to their word, the western area was home to quite a few restless dead, though mostly the lesser sort that were easily dispatched with weapons. There was a tense moment with some kind of shadowy form that trapped the party in a narrow hall, draining their will with its eerie wail and icy touch-- but no serious mishaps. 

A small room to the north held a beautiful young girl, trapped in a pentagram, who begged the party to save her from a terrible wizard who had entrapped her. Halma was instantly smitten and was near to being forcibly restrained; Keldas refused to leave a damsel in distress; but it was the even-keeled Wulf who pointed out the inconsistencies in her story. "And besides... Even if yer not an evil demon she-bitch," he told the sobbing girl, "there's drow and dragons running about, yer safer tucked away here than hangin' onto my apron strings. We'll come back for yer. Yer got my word on that." 

She was soon forgotten and the party continued their explorations...

---------------

After a number of twists, turns, and dead-ends, they realized that they'd explored the entirety of the eastern passageways. Wulf checked his map and pointed out a number of likely spots for secret doors, and Keldas' keen eyes soon uncovered just such a portal. The door opened onto a long hall. A short passage branched off to one side and ended in another secret door. The main portion of the hall continued on for several paces then fell away into the darkness. There were slick ladder rungs leading down to the sound of running water. Judging from their map, they had completely circled around the duergar leader's room. Their choice: duergar or dragon.

They chose the duergar.

The party gathered up just outside the Great Hall. The plan was to power up with spells, then burst in as fast and deadly as possible. Diessa put a _Silence_ on a small rock-- Halma would hold this and close with their spellcasters to prevent spellcasting. Several _Protection from Evil_ spells were bestowed. _Bless_. _Rapid Strikes_. _Displacement_ for Halma. The works.  When it was all set, Wulf opened the door and Halma burst into the Great Hall, expecting his allies to follow right behind him.

The duergar and their dark elf allies were waiting for them. 

"Fools! Did you think our gods would fail to warn us of your inevitable treachery?"

Keldas had just entered the room and Halma had made it as far as the throne before a huge billowing web descended on the party. Halma and Keldas were trapped in the room, while the rest of the party was still stuck out in the hall. Fortunately, the drow wizard was rather indiscriminate, and he'd captured a couple of duergar warriors in the web as well.

Wulf started slashing at the webs with _Taranak_, trying to burn them away. The halfling threw some burning oil out into the room, where it started burning away from the other side. It would take a few precious moments to burn away to the middle. Unfortunately, their enemies were not content to wait for that to happen. Keldas and Halma both were stuck in the webs and pounded mercilessly. It soon became clear to Wulf that by the time the webs burned away to Keldas, the duergar would kill him-- and if not, the flames from the web would probably finish him off! Wulf grit his teeth, dove into the burning web, and started pushing his way through the flaming strands-- at the very least, he hoped to offer their enemies another tempting target. 

Halma managed to wiggle his arms and weapon free and started hacking at the priestess, but she quickly stepped back outside the range of the _silence_ spell and managed to _hold_ the young warrior. The duergar warriors started shooting at him, and though every other shot missed the blurry outline of the barbarian, the party could only watch and wait as Halma suffered wound after wound.

Keldas managed to free himself and stagger out of the webs. He rushed towards Halma where he could potentially cast a _Dispel_ onto the area, but was worried about dropping his own _Displacement_ spell. It was the only thing keeping Halma alive at the moment. Wulf changed course and started hacking a path to Halma, beckoning Diessa up behind him so that she could cast healing magic when she got close enough. The circle of silence surrounding the barbarian proved to be a problem, as Diessa would have to cast her spell from outside then hold it long enough to move in and touch his wounds. She wasn't certain he'd live long enough for her to get there.

The party turned their attention to what could be helped. Keldas managed to _Sleep_ the greater number of the warriors, while Wulf harassed the duergar sorceress with his sling. The halfling drank a potion of _Invisibility_ (where _did_ he get that?) and started moving out into the room, angling for a chance to get nasty with the sorceress. Unfortunately, she'd somehow levitated up out of reach. Though he was loathe to go toe-to-toe with anyone remotely able to fight back, the halfling had no choice but to pick on the drow male. As expected, his  sneak attack was brutally effective: the drow went down in a heap to the halfling's deadly little daggers-- hamstrung, two perforated kidneys, and a couple of kicks in the kneecaps for good measure.

Keldas turned his attention to the duergar sorceress, sending _acid arrows_ zipping into her compact frame. Visible or no, the continuing agony of the acid dogged her as she sailed around the ceiling. She took several such arrows and fled into the forges.

They'd wittled the resistance down to the drow female, and Wulf moved to the north end of the room, up onto the dais, to back her away from his friend Halma. Wulf charged, swinging _Taranak_ over his head to watch the flames burst across her armor. She was severely wounded-- but once again, able to turn invisible and flee. They saw her leave through the north door.

The party quickly circled their wagons, retreating to the south end of the hall where they restored Halma to activity and healed everybody up as best as they could. Diessa burned spell after spell, beseeching Moradin to grant the healing they desperately needed. They looked up to see the north door open once again. 

A sinewy, black, reptilian head poked through. 

-------------

"Who dares to disturb the rest of Nightscale?"

Wulf had always imagined a dragon's voice to come booming out with authority, but he found the quiet, subtle, feminine hiss of Nightscale to be even more disturbing. 

The dragon sat on the dais, watching them imperially. The party could do nothing but stare right back. Several awkward moments passed before something occurred to Wulf. "I'll handle this."

He drew his axe and walked to the north. "Come down off the dais and get me, yer fat toad. I don't think yer got the stones."

The party watched as Wulf walked to certain doom. The dragon merely watched and waited atop the dais.

"Yeah, that's right. Yer dealin' with Wulf Ratbane now. Now be a good girl and come take the ass-whippin' yer got coming to yer."

Wulf was literally within reach of the dragon-- his comrades crossed themselves and wished him well in the afterlife-- when he suddenly darted off toward the forges and slammed the door there. 

The dragon winked out of existence.

Wulf had seen the duergar using illusions before, so it had only taken him a moment to figure out that the dragon was probably an illusion too. He'd simply focused his eyes and his mind and sure enough, he'd stared right through it. He enjoyed a good belly laugh at the expense of his companions. 

"Yer should have seen yer faces!" He could barely compose himself. "Now let's finish off this tricky duergar bitch once and for all." He grabbed the _silence_ stone from atop the dais-- he'd use it to cancel out the sorceress' spells and finish her off. His comrades were halfway up the hall to join him when he threw wide the door to the forges and stepped inside.

Sure enough, the duergar sorceress was there, wide-eyed and silent...

And so too was the drow priestess! Climbing up the rope ladder into the forge, right on time, as expected.

What was completely _unexpected_, however, was the long black shadow that rose up out of the darkness behind her and alighted in the forges. Wulf took a blast of acid breath full force in the chest. He staggered back out of the room and yelled to his companions, "It's the REAL dragon! Run, ye poor bastards!"

He was still _silenced_, of course, so his warning was unheeded. Halma and Keldas kept right on going-- right past Wulf, wallowing into a puddle of black acid, and straight into the jaws of death waiting in the room.

They decided, against all better judgement, to fight for it. "Have at 'em, boys! Yer only live once!"

Halma stepped up and took it to the dragon; Wulf spread out as best he could to take out the drow priestess; and Keldas concentrated on the duergar sorceress. 

Keldas finished off the sorceress with one last _acid arrow_...

Wulf forced the drow to flee into the depths again...

and Halma did bugger-all to the dragon.

Their weapons could barely penetrate its scaly hide, and it seemed to have an insurmountable tolerance for punishment. It drew back and breathed again, drawing a neat line between Halma and Wulf. Overconfidence got the better of Wulf _again_ as his normally nimble reflexes failed to evade the blast. He was very nearly dead now-- another blast like that would kill him. Or Halma. Or Keldas for that matter. What to do?

"Run away! Run away!"

Wulf was the first out the door, catching the halfling lurking outside the door and bundling him off down the hall. Together they crossed the length of the great hall at a flat-out sprint, their stumpy little legs pumping for all they were worth. Keldas passed them a moment later. Finally came Halma, who'd turned on his heel and left the dragon choking on his dust. Diessa was already waiting for them all at the doorway out of Durgeddin's halls.

Nightscale came gliding swiftly and effortlessly into the hall, right into their midst, and settled to the ground, laughing. There was no way they could outrun the dragon. They were all going to die. One at a time, probably, but it was inevitable.

Keldas was the first to decide to fight. He dropped a _Glitterdust_ right onto the dragon's head and urged his comrades into battle. "Quick! While she's blinded by the dust! She can't hit you!" He drew his sword and stepped up, toe to toe with the dragon.

Halma didn't have to be told twice. He knew he could outrun the rest of the party, but that would only mean he'd be the last to die-- alone. He swung his greatsword in a wide arc and turned to charge the beast. 

Wulf couldn't decide if he was inspired, or simply resigned to the matter. He dove into position on the dragon's flank.

Diessa stepped up, flanking the dragon with Wulf and slinging her warhammer for all it was worth.

The halfling hesitated for a moment, but, hey, as long as it was blind and helpless... ("It's blind, right?" "YES!") He tumbled over behind the dragon where he could safely attack it from the rear. 

And, amazingly, it was _just_ enough. The dragon faltered under the weight of their combined assault, its bulk collapsing amidst the glittering gold motes dancing in the air.

For once, they felt like they could stop, right there on the battlefield, lean against their weapons, and just _rest_.

Like heroes. 

Nobody felt harried. The drow was surely long gone. No invisible enemies were around to ambush them. Wulf took his time happily butchering the dragon-- carefully removing its head and most of its hide. He bundled it all up into a sack.

"Right... Yer want to press our luck and go look for her treasure?"

"NO!"


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*FORGE OF FURY (Epilogue)*

The party retired to the surface caves for a day to rest and recuperate in the soothing company of mules. Despite the fact that the female drow had escaped, there was little concern that the dragon's hoard was in any danger of disappearing along with her. The next day, secure in the feeling that they'd purged the caves of all resistance, they unburdened their packs and pockets, and made their way down to the small underground lake where Nightscale had made her lair. It was a small hoard, but there was a fair amount of gold, some small magical trinkets, and a fine dwarven war-axe. Durgeddin's mark, and according to Keldas, a fair amount of magic laid upon the blade. Wulf quietly laid claim to this and slipped it into his pack.

They returned to town to enjoy at last the fruits of their hard work. With Keldas' help, Wulf and Halma were soon outfitted with magical chain shirts, and Halma's greatsword, his most prized personal possession, was given a bit of a magical boost as well. Wulf spent time in the local smithy crafting some masterwork daggers for himself and, yes, even the halfling. It was nice to return to town with, not just two coppers to rub together, but enough loot to spread around and feel important for a change.

At last, while Halma rested up outside the town, Keldas studied his spellbooks, and the halfling was off on his eternal quest for a street-side poison vendor, Wulf paid a visit to the old man. 

"Wanted yer to have this." Wulf laid a cloth-wrapped bundle across the old man's lap. The old man carefully unwrapped it and stared down with admiration: Durgeddin's dwarven war-axe. The old man didn't need to _detect magic_ to see that it was a fine piece of workmanship; in his long forgotten past as an adventurer, he'd seen finer-- but not often. Certainly Wulf had never seen better-- and likely never would again.

"But... You earned this. You don't think it would be better off with a strong arm to wield it?"

"Hmph. Take this too..." Wulf handed him a stack of papers and books bound with a string-- diaries he had recovered from the forges, the woeful tale of Durgeddin's fall. He waved aside the old man's protests. "I got no use for all this tackle."

The old man sat quietly, waiting for Wulf to speak his mind.

"Yer going back up there, right? Clean the place out once and for all?"

"Yes. Diessa and I will head back there eventually. We may even need some help... eventually."

"Hmph. Well, just so yer know, there's still a she-bitch demon trapped up there. Take summat to deal with her if yer decide to go back."

"I will..." He paused for a moment, then raised one eyebrow and grinned. "They say around town say you defeated a dragon. Did you bring back the hide?"

Wulf grinned. "Aye, just a little bugger, though. Not much to it. Wanted to ask yer about that... was hoping... ahh... yer might help me with a little project..."

The old man wrapped up the axe and the diaries. "Let's talk in my workshop."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part I)*

It was only a few short days later before the money was all spent and the beckon call to adventure rang again in their heads. But mighty battles with orcs, drow, and dragons were hard to come by, and they found themselves once again in their humble but comfortable role as "caravan guards." Their employer was a roly-poly halfling merchant whose name, as usual, was forgotten in a moment. Wulf haggled his price up to a staggering 10 gp each for the trip-- and then, just to add insult to injury, demanded free food as well. After all, if you have to travel with pecks, you might as well enjoy the peck cuisine. That much, at least, you could count that they wouldn't screw up.

"Fine fine fine! Ten crowns for the trip, plus meals... and I expect you'll be wanting halfling ponies to ease the journey?" He smiled broadly and swept his arm across his finest selection of riding animals.

The halfling eagerly agreed, but Halma took one look at the stumpy ponies and declined-- he could probably run faster on foot. Wulf started to open his mouth and weigh in with his own opinion, but Keldas cut him short before further damage was done.

"I'd be honored, sir. Such fine looking ponies!"

Wulf swung up onto the nearest wagon as the group gathered up and the caravan started out for Brindenford. Keldas trotted alongside on his pony, his legs nearly dragging the ground on either side.

"Yer look bloody ridiculous."

An elven noble trotted up next to Keldas. "Greetings, good dwarf! I am Alliane, kin to Keldas from a conclave far away, sworn to the service of Corellon L..."

"Blah blah blah, pleased to meet yer, sir... madam... whatever yer are. Praise Corellon!" Wulf made the fist and set to work inspecting his boots.

--------------------------

Much to Wulf's disappointment, the caravan arrived unmolested into the town of Brindenford. It was a boring trip and Wulf was eager to rid himself of as many halflings as possible. Unfortunately, a merchant's fair was in town, and a good number of the merchants-- and townsfolk-- were halflings, all milling about and trying to enter the city at the same time. It was like something from a nightmare. Wulf held his belt pouch closer. "Tinks, beggars, and bloody thieves!"

The press of the crowd as they neared the gates did nothing to help Wulf's mood, and when the guards at the gate stopped them unexpectedly, things went from bad to worse.

"No weapons in the city." The guard reached out his hand for Taranak.

"Good way to earn yerself a bloody stump!" Halma grunted in agreement.

Keldas put his hand on Wulf's shoulder and gestured at the people around them. "Relax. They'll just peace-bond it, see?"

Wulf was unfamiliar with the practice-- the idea of carrying a weapon that wasn't ready at hand was alien to his entire life's experience. But there they were: Sword hilts tied to their scabbards, and axe-heads tied into bundles. In every case the peace-bond was tied down with an intracately knotted ribbon. Wulf handed over his axe and watched carefully as the guard tied down the axe: Nice knot. He could duplicate that...

Another guard nearby was putting the finishing touches on a knot around the second and third fingers of a man heading into the city. The guards looked at Keldas. "You a spellcaster too?"

"Not I." Keldas pulled back his robes to reveal the longsword hanging at his belt, and waited patiently while it was bonded.

They moved on into the city, Wulf and Halma scowling, Keldas smiling, until the halfling chuckled alound. "Ha! Those idiots! They didn't even see my wrist sheaths."

"Hmph. I just reckon they could tell from lookin' at yer how bloody unlikely you'd be to draw steel. Peck." 

The party moved into the city and steadily onward, up the main thoroughfare, looking for a place to stay. Wulf voted for a place in the seedier part of town, where there was sure to be some unexpected but welcome "action," but he was contstantly over-ruled by Keldas and Alliane. Farther into town they went until the cramped slums gave way to wider streets, green parks, and the finest inns. Just off in the distance they could see the manor house of Baron Euphemes, the local ruler.

Eventually they stopped at an establishment that suited the elves-- the Prancing Unicorn or some other gelded forest creature Wulf had never heard of. The innkeeper greeted Keldas and Alliane as "Lord and Lady" and offered them rooms for 10 crowns a night-- his best rate-- while their "retainers" (he cast a disapproving eye over Wulf, Halma, and the halfling) were free to stay in the servant's quarters adjoining the stables. Wulf took one look around the sombre, mostly empty common room and decided they'd got the better part of the deal. Keldas and his cousin were welcome to the company of the innkeeper-- they'd have better luck in the servants quarters.

Still, it wasn't exactly the kind of "action" Wulf was looking for. Once they were all settled in, Wulf gathered them all up in Keldas' room and suggested a quick trip to the south side while it was still daylight. "If it please yer Lordship, of course..."

With their caravan contract out of the way and nothing better to do, they all quickly agreed. Their trip was diverted, however, as they passed the large open-air market where many of the merchants were to set up. A stampede of halflings heading in the opposite direction very nearly bowled them... well, it very nearly inconvenienced them, anyway.

"Run for your lives... Rats... GIANT rats!"

Wulf didn't need to hear more than that, as the old verminslayer in him took over. He waded forward through the fleeing halflings until he could get a good look into the open market. 

A half-dozen giant rats were bounding through the market, upsetting the stalls and chasing the merchants. One particularly large rat had one of the town guards pinned and was contentedly chewing his face off.

Wulf readied his sling as Halma dashed in and veered off to a clump of big rats-- where he no doubt hoped to heave his greatsword through several at a time. Keldas and the halfling moved off to the other side
of the market, and Alliane was preparing a healing spell for the guard (though from the looks of things, it was a bit late for that). So Wulf was left staring down the big 'un in the center of the town square.

He took careful aim with his sling and sent a heavy lead pellet rocketing into the creature's skull-- an easy shot, one he'd made countless times before, and always a certain and instant kill. This time, however, it didn't seem to do much of anything; the creature was utterly unfazed. It looked up at Wulf with a malevolent gleam in its eyes. Wulf knew instantly he wasn't dealing with any ordinary rat.

"Oh, yer bloody better not even think it..." Wulf locked gazes with the creature and was already gripping Taranak firmly as red hot flames began blazing through the peace-bonds. The were-rat thought better of the situation and skittered away into the nearest sewer-hole, calling its minions after it. The rats disappeared down hidden entrances to unseen tunnels.

Alliane rushed to the side of the wounded guard-- too late, as Wulf suspected. The party stood about sheepishly, weapons brandished, waiting for the local guard to arrive. The halfling merchants began milling about, reaching up to pat them on the back, thanking them; and their witness was invaluable when the guard finally arrived. Unfortunately, such lawlessness, no matter how timely and beneficial, posed a sticky problem for the rigid thinking of the guards, and the party was asked to accompany them back to their barracks to talk to the captain.

"Aye, let's do that."

The wheels were already spinning in Wulf's head as new diplomatic possibilities stretched out before him...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part II)*

He'd spent years in the tunnels and warrens around his clan's home, fighting off goblins and their ilk, but it was the _rats_ he really despised. It was the rats-- the countless, ceaseless, ubitquitous rats-- to whom he owed his tunnel-fighting expertise, his survival skills, and even his identity so far from home. Now, leagues from his family's hearth, out of the warrens and under the bright afternoon sun, and Wulf was still contending with bloody rats skipping around town like they bloody owned the place. 

If they were allied with _wererats_-- and they certainly were, he just needed a body to prove it-- then things were only going to get worse. Surely they would already have infiltrated the powerful posts of the government, including the town guard. That's what _he_ would do, anyway. While they walked, Wulf prodded the guards for details.

"This captain of yers... what's his name?"

"_Her_ name is Shella. She's new. The old cap'n was Forren-- he's gone missing, though. Couple weeks ago."

Wulf's grip tightened on his axe-handle. Even through the soot and grime that normally coated his hands, his friends could see him tense to  white-knuckled readiness. Keldas urged caution as they were finally brought before the captain.

Captain Shella looked young, tired, and completely unqualified. After the guards gave a brief run-down of the afternoon's events, Wulf moved right in for the kill.

"Yer know yer got a were-rat problem, right?"

"Apparently, yes." Her icy calm was surely a facade.

"And this man Forren-- just up and gone missin?" Wulf arched a curly eyebrow and stared her in the eyes.

"That's right." Captain Shella stared right back, unblinking.

"Yer know anything more about that? Hmm?"

"Not yet. I've got top men looking into it." Shella wasn't even close to cracking under the intense interrogation.

"Ach... Right." Wulf was momentarily dumbfounded, so he switched tactics. "Right... Look, we need some kind of writ or summat so we can keep our weapons ready. Yer _will_ be wantin' us to continue our vigilant protection of yer fine city, right?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely." 

Wulf grinned, but Shella quickly added, "Unfortunately, it wouldn't help the stability of the city any for you to be walking about with your weapons brandished all the time." Wulf's smile faltered. "You'll have to keep your weapons peace-bonded, as usual, while you're in the city. But..." and here she winked at Wulf, "We'll be sure to take circumstances into account if you find the need to draw your weapons again."

And that was as good as they were going to get. Wulf retired to the background to sulk while Keldas asked Shella a few more questions. It seemed the rat problem had been growing steadily worse in recent weeks, and the disappearance of the old Captain hadn't helped any. Now, with the merchant's fair ready to begin, there was a lot of pressure on the guard to do something... anything. Unfortunately, the only lead Shella could give them was simply this: For years, the old bell tower in the center of town had had a problem with rats. 

"It wouldn't hurt to start there, I suppose. There's an old man who runs the tower-- his family has had that honor for years. You could ask him about it. His name is Turvin."

"RAT!"

Wulf sat up with a start from the back of the room. Everyone was staring at him.

"Hmmph. Nevermind."

Shella continued. "Turvin inherited the job many years ago from... his brother, I think. He's got to be at least 80 years old by now. He knows the town well and could at least point you in the right direction."

Afternoon had already turned to dusk, and night was falling rapidly, but the party decided to move quickly on the slight lead they had. It was a short walk from the barracks to the bell tower, but Wulf's incessant grumbling made it seem like hours.

"I'm tellin' yer, this guy Turvin is a RAT!"

Keldas tried to be the voice of reason. "Wulf, the man is 80 years old. He's been in this town for ages."

"He's a rat."

"Turvin is well known and apparently well-respected."

"RAT!"

"How can you possibly say that?"

"Anybody whose name ends with _-in_ is a stinkin' rat. Trust me on this."

"Enough with your paranoid delusions! You can't just go attacking helpless old men on the flimsiest of suspicions-- his _name_ isn't good enough for you?"

They reached the door to the bell tower. Though it was dark, no lights were yet in the windows. The tower stretched up into the darkness until it was silhouetted against the moon, some forty feet above their heads. Wulf looked up at Keldas as if to say "Last chance..."

Keldas reached out and knocked on the door.

At first, there was no reaction, but eventually they saw a flickering light, and heard footsteps approaching the door. A feeble voice called out from the other side of the door. "Who is it?"

Wulf called out before Keldas could respond. "We heard yer got some rat problems in the tower here. Well?"

"No... no..."

Keldas took over. "Do you mind if we just come in and have a look around? And ask you for some advice? Captain Shella of the guard sent us."

The door opened just a crack and they could see the old man peering out at them from behind his candle. "Oh! Adventurers! Ahh... have pity on an old man, it's well past my bedtime..."

"Yer got no rats in there? No rats of any kind? Bigguns, littl'uns... Nothing? Hmm?"

"No, we don't have any trouble with rats. But I'd share what wisdom I have, if you'd like to speak to me. Perhaps you could come back in the morning." It was an order, not a request, and the heavy door was shut tight in their faces.

The party stood dejectedly in the street. The old man seemed harmless enough-- but his story was at odds with Shella. Only Wulf gave voice to their frustration-- loudly, impolitely, and incessantly. A curious crowd gathered while Wulf berated Keldas for his lack of action, until the halfling broke them up. 

"Uh, guys?" He pointed at the gathering townsfolk.

A lesser man-- a skulking, thieving, no-good layabout, whose deeds were best performed under cover of darkness-- would have been put off by the gathering witnesses, but not so Wulf Ratbane. He was, after all, a _hero_. Heroic deeds, in fact, _demanded_ an audience. He stalked over to a startled-looking man and asked, "Who does this tower belong to?"

"Uh... uhh... to the town, I suppose..."

"Yer know of any law what says we can't go up on this tower at night?"

The townsman looked around for support. "Well, not exactly, no..."

Halma got the idea and broke in.

"Ok. Climb tower." He took a mighty leap, grasping at the tower walls with hard fingers and soft-toed boots. Keldas and the halfling were soon scampering up behind him. Wulf stood in the street, marvelling at the sudden decisiveness of his companions.

The tower had a short outer curtain wall, some ten feet high, that encircled the whole tower and prevented access to the staircase that wound around the outside of the tower all the way to the top. Wulf started climbing just as Halma was completing his mad dash to the top. His run was almost cut short as an explosive trap of some kind went off on the uppermost steps. He was hurt, but not badly. More importantly, the trail was starting to look a little more "hot." 

Wulf carefully picked his way up to the top of the tower. The tower top was like a well, open to the elements except for the wooden roof, and only a narrow ledge of stone to stand on. Wulf peered into the darkness below. He could see shapes moving down below. Rat-shaped. And big.

Before they had time to ponder the discovery, there was a mighty rush of air and flap of heavy wings. Wulf was knocked backward and felt himself falling off the tower, arms and legs flailing as he tried to land easily-- with no success. There was a bright light as he crunched into the ground, and when he came to, he was lying flat on his back, staring up at his companions and the gargoyle that was swooping around them at the top of the tower. Moments later, the halfling joined him at the bottom of the tower.

Now, Wulf was mad, and he'd lost all reason. He got to his feet and stumped over to the door, pounding on it. "Open up, old man! Yer got rats in the top of yer tower!" He was beaten, bruised, and shamed, but still hanging on to the irrational hope that the old man was somehow innocent.

"No! No rats here!"

That clinched it. Wulf and the halfling started climbing again, but this time, Wulf jumped down inside the curtain wall while the halfling kept going up. When the halfling was out of sight, Wulf stepped up next to the door to the inner tower. He pulled his dragonskin cloak tighter about him, pulling the skull helm down over his eyes. In a blink, he disappeared into the darkness, swathed in black scales. He chuckled to himself. 

"Next one out of this door will be one sorry bastard..."

Atop the tower, Halma and Keldas had driven off the gargoyle. Halma jumped down into the darkness of the inner tower and set to work butchering the rats inside. Wulf could hear the stomp of Halma's feet on the floorboards, and the terrified squeaking of the giant rats. Soon, the squeaks were intermingled with the sounds of men-- or something in between. Down and down Halma went, with the others cruising confidently in his wake, as the greatsword swept clean floor after floor. Escape past the barbarian was impossible; the only way out was the front door... where Wulf waited eagerly.

Eventually, the door opened. Wulf prepared to draw steel... but nothing happened. Only when the outer door opened did Wulf realize that someone invisible had skittered past him! Still, he held his ground, and was paid off shortly as two scruffy-looking ratmen tried to bolt past him. Wulf let the first man go, but dropped the second from behind like a sack of flour, very nearly splitting him in two. Wulf leapt over the corpse to pursue the other-- and realized he was standing outside the tower, surrounded by townsfolk. Blood dripped down his axe and trickled down his arm. There were bits of... something... clogging his beard.

"Which way did he go?" Wulf tossed back the dragonskull helm so his voice was not quite so muffled. "You! The ratman? Did yer see which way he went?"

The crowd looked on silent and wide-eyed. Someone started shouting for the guards.

"Oh, calm yerself! It's just a stinkin' rat-man!" Wulf stalked over towards the outer door and rougly tossed over the corpse with the toe of his boot. Only now, of course, the corpse was just a scruffy looking rogue. True enough, nobody recognized him-- it wasn't as if Wulf had felled somebody's uncle or grandpa-- but still...

The guard came running about the time Wulf's comrades joined him. They put away their weapons and tried to calm the crowd ("Nothing to see here folks... Just yer local heroes, hard at work... No thanks necessary...") and waited as more guards arrived-- including Captain Shella. Wulf wasted no time setting the situation straight.

"Yer got yerself a rat-man problem. This fella is one of 'em."

"The priests at the temple will ascertain that." She directed two of her men to gather up the corpse, but Wulf stepped in. A man lay dead in the street by his hand-- not to mention the tower full of bodies-- and it would require considerable guile to get them out of this one.

"Well, seein' as how this bag o' guts is our only tie to the truth, and the only thing standing between us and the gallows, we'll just carry him over for yer. Lead the way."

Shella was indignant, but caught off guard by Wulf's wily and unusual diplomacy. "Sir, I'm not sure-- are you trying to tell me that my men are too incompetent to carry a body, or are you insinuating something more sinister?"

Wulf bowed his head and bent his knee. "Oh, begging yer pardon... yes ma'am."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part III)*

Captain Shella stood aside as Wulf grabbed the body and started following her men to the Temple of Pelor. It was a short walk from the bell tower in the center of town, but the distance stretched out with the silence. With rat-men about, Wulf trusted no one. Surely they'd try to pin a murder on him. He gave himself 50/50 odds of swinging from a gallows before the next nightfall.

Finally they reached the Temple, where acolytes came out to greet them, eyeing the body and casting a sympathetic eye over the party. Wulf quickly cut them off, "No, he's beyond healing, and no friend of ours even if he wasn't. Need yer to work some spells over this corpse, get him to fess up to being a rat." Wulf wrapped his hands around the dead man and gave him a squeeze across the ribs. A pathetic gurgle bubbled from his lips.

"Got a little life left in yer, aye?" Wulf grinned and dropped the body in a heap. He took a seat on a low bench and propped his boots on the corpse. "We'll just wait here for yer high priest."

The acolytes glanced at Captain Shella. "We must apologize... our high priest is a very old man... and he needs his rest. We'll take the bodies from you now, and prepare them for the rituals tomorrow." Captain Shella nodded.

Wulf thought it over. By all accounts this Pelor was a pretty upstanding fellow. If his own priests were turned by the rats, and his temple infiltrated, they were all in bigger trouble than worrying about a little tussle with a local rogue. He looked up at Keldas, who seemed to be thinking the very same thing, and nodded. "Right. Right, then. We'll see yer in the morning."

It was a rough night. Even in their relatively upscale accomodations, Wulf slept lightly, _Taranak_ at the ready, listening for the sound of vengeful rat-men. It was difficult to hear over the sound of the halfling droning away blissfully. He certainly was a good little sleeper-- as if he didn't have an enemy in the world.

Morning came eventually, and Wulf, bleary-eyed, led the company back to the temple. The high priest-- a very old man indeed-- was there to greet them. Wulf straigtened his back respectfully, and gave the priest the symbol of the blazing sun-- though to the uneducated, it might perhaps have looked suspiciously like the usual upraised fist. "Praise Pelor! Up the Sun!" 

The priest smiled back and welcomed them into the temple once again. Wulf smiled back to show his sincerity, and hid his nervousness with some light hearted banter. "Well, they say prayin' to the sun every day ages a man... but, ahh, yer look mighty well preserved if you ask me-- tough, yer know... like a nice piece o' goblin jerky." The very old man merely smiled back and led them under the huge golden dome of Pelor.

"Nice temple yer got here... much better during the day. Been thinking about converting to Pelor myself, lately. Love the Sun! And yer know what they say about worshippers of Pelor, right?"

"No, what's that?"

" 'Show me a man who greets each sunrise with a big smile, and I'll show yer a man with tan gums.' " Wulf smiled and made the fist again. He could tell: he was doing _very_ well indeed.

"Well, I'm sure you're here about those men you brought in last night..."

"Aye... and we could use some healin' too, while yer at it." Wulf jerked a thumb at Halma. "He got nicked up pretty bad by were-rats, need some belly-donner or summat, right?"

"Of course, of course." The very old man motioned to some of his acolytes, who began quietly and unobtrusively laying hands on their wounds. "And you probably want to know what information we have for you?"

They all nodded, so the priest went on. "Well, you were right: they were rat-men; unfortunately their corpses were less than forthcoming about any other knowledge they may have had. We had no luck in winkling out their leader or their headquarters."

"Don't be daft, it was that rat Turvin, holed up in the bell tower. We'll just head back and fix _him_ proper, right?" Wulf looked around at his companions. They seemed ready enough.

"Right then. Keep the fires burnin', priest, we'll be back for more, soon enough." Wulf stalked out, his back already to the priests, raising his fist at the last minute as he passed through the doors. "Up the Sun!" 

Wulf was in bright spirits, refreshed in body and mind from his visit to the temple, and there was a spring in his step as the party headed back to find the old ratman. Sure, it was possible he was simply relieved that they wouldn't be arrested, or perhaps he was merely looking forward to the righteous slaughter of Turvin and his henchmen; but he preferred to think that, just maybe, Pelor had put a little sunshine in his heart. He gazed up at the sun shining down on the bell tower. There were no gargoyles or other imposing edifices leering down at them, now, under the blessed sunlight. (Praise Pelor!)

Wulf casually pushed the door open, his grin vanishing as he stepped into the shadows of the old man's abode. It was abandoned-- nobody home to meet sweet justice. The rest of the party came in and started looking around. There was an old desk-- now stripped bare of any diary or incriminating notes. Wulf muttered low curses to himself as he ignited _Taranak_ and hacked the desk into tiny, glowing embers. 

Keldas looked up from across the room, taking his gaze off the floor, where his keen eyes sought out a hidden trapdoor. "If there's a secret compartment in there, you'll destroy any evidence we might find."

"To Hell with evidence! I had my evidence last night, but yer got in the way!" 

"Be patient!" Keldas continued meticulously searching for secret doors, backed up by the halfling. After a minute of watching their silent and pointless search, Wulf could stand no more. He stomped outside to find the sun gone-- and the skies clouding over.

-----

They wandered aimlessly through the streets, utterly clueless as to their "next step," or even if there _was_ another step. It was possible, perhaps likely, that they'd driven off Turvin and his band of ratmen for good. So they turned their efforts towards drumming up some more business.

Wulf put together a short flyer ("For Hire: Three valiant adventurers, and one peck...") which they distributed around the various pubs in town, followed by a visit to the Baron's manor house. They were greeted by the major domo, who as usual managed to be obsequious and yet completely unflappable and impassible. He informed them that the Baron was already aware of their presence in town, was thankful for their help with the ratmen, but was unfortunately too busy preparing for his big speech to welcome the merchants and kick off the fair... buh-bye.

Wulf added the major domo to his growing list of likely villains in desperate need of the taste of boot leather, blood, and their own teeth. 

He left the manor house in an even fouler mood. As they passed through the market square again, the halfling skipped ahead, jumping and pointing. "Ooh! Street performers!"

A small stage was set up against an old building. Some half-dozen men and women, dressed in ridiculous outfits, were regaling a growing crowd with a tale of star-crossed lovers, or some other such nonsense. Wulf grinned and made a beeline for the nearest fruit stand, looking for anything rotten or over-ripe. "Now yer talkin'."

Keldas frowned. "Not a patron of the arts, are you? What, you don't care for the fine art of the thespian?"

"Hey, hey now. Speak for yerself! I like watchin' a couple of thespians goin' at it as much as the next guy, but I ain't passin' up an opportunity like this." He hefted an apple and judged the distance to the stage. Keldas frowned and took Alliane's arm, steering her closer for a better look. Halma hesitantly padded after them, unsure exactly what was going on.

Wulf waited for the dramatically appropriate moment to pelt the performers with rotten fruit. The star-crossed lovers had moved to the front of the stage, leaving their bickering families behind them, when suddenly there was a hideous cry from one of the women near the back of the stage. Blood came gushing from her neck, spraying the actors in front, and she toppled over, revealing a disgusting creature on her back. It had disgusting grey skin, wild wiry hair, and the white eyes of the cave-blind. Its mouth and claws were covered in her blood. It began feasting, tearing at her flesh, heedless of the crowd around it.

Wulf dropped his apple, his jaw hanging open, and began to applaud wildly. "Huzzah! Now THAT'S a play!"

Another half-dozen of the creatures came bounding onto the stage from some hidden bolt-hole, swinging axes from side to side and cleaving through the remaining actors. Wulf continued to applaud, but Keldas and Alianne had already begun casting spells, and Halma had leapt up onto the stage at their urging, his greatsword sweeping back and forth with precision, trying to save the remaining actors from the ravenous assault.

Wulf hesitated a moment longer, wondering if he could possibly convince himself that this was all just part of the show. Far be it from him to disturb an actor in pursuit of his "craft." Farther still to give a rat's ass about the worthless life of another actor. His mind was rather quickly made up, however, when he spotted the leader of the creatures at the edge of the stage, a battle-axe in one hand and a rather interesting hand-axe in the other. Wulf didn't have Keldas' eye for the arcane, but he could spot masterwork when he saw it. And he wanted it.

Wulf rushed the stage, bringing out _Taranak_ in both hands as he charged. He crashed into the leader from the side at full tilt, slashing his axe in a blazing arc. His foe staggered and Wulf took advantage of that brief moment to draw a dagger into his off-hand. The two of them fought toe-to-toe for several moments. Wulf noted that his opponent fought two-weapon style, as he did, but in the unskilled, uneducated, and ultimately ineffective style of the so-called "Rangers." Before long Wulf had his boot on his foe's wrist and was prying the hand-axe from his death grip. "Lazy prick. That'll teach yer to try to fake it against a real pro." 

Wulf looked up and was pleased to see that all of the creatures had been slain-- as had nearly all of the actors. The stage was slick and black with blood, and the crowd before them stood agape at the carnage. Some unlucky few in the front row were splattered with gore.

Wulf stomped to the edge of the stage, his arms spread wide, an axe in either hand. The crowd instinctively backed away, until Wulf stopped-- and bowed deeply. 

The applause rang in his ears.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part IV)*

There wasn't time for a second curtain call. 

The halfling had jumped down behind the stage and was beckoning the party to a dark hole in the wall. "Uh, guys, come take a look at this..."

"Pretty small hole. Yer better check it out first, peck. Quiet, like only yer can do it." Wulf winked.

The halfling just sighed, accepted the inevitable conclusion, and wiggled through the hole. Moments passed and the halfling's little curly-haired head came popping back out out of the hole—to Wulf’s great disappointment, it was still attached the rest of the filthy little bugger. The halfling held his fingers to his lips, then contorted his fingers into an impressive-looking signal. Wulf could only suppose it was some kind of silent rogues' language, though he half suspected the peck had simply dreamed it up in his spare time. Nevertheless, he assumed it meant trouble. He pulled his blackscale cloak tight and was wrapped in shadow as he crept into the hole as well.

Wulf could see the halfling sitting wide-eyed in the dark, straining to listen. Wulf cupped his own ear and he, too, could make out the sound of a low whisper-- speaking Undercommon. "_When the rest arrive..._"

The halfling looked towards him for confirmation, but Wulf merely shrugged-- though he grinned to himself and reflexively tightened his grip on _Taranak_. He longed to put his new hand-axe to the test as well.

_Mmm... Bloodshed._

Wulf motioned for the halfling to bring the others in, and shortly all five of them were sitting there in the darkness. Only Wulf could see-- so he had big plans of being the hero. Any moment now...

The silence was broken by the sound of Draconic speech and a veil of pitch blackness fell over the entire group of them, huddled near the door. 

"Ach, yer sons o'... aah!" Something was stabbing at him, and as shouts went up from his comrades he knew he wasn't the only one. Wulf grimaced and cursed his luck, and made a mad dash forward, hoping to come out from the area of magical darkness. Sharp metal and filthy claws sought him out as he ran, but he ignored the pain, plowed through, and turned to assess the situation.

Almost a dozen of the cave-dwellers had appeared, as if from nowhere, and were moving in and out of the magical darkness with ease. From the sound of things the halfling and Alliane were taking the worst of it, though he could also make out the sound of Keldas’ spellcasting, and the unmistakable sound of Halma’s greatsword shearing through flesh and bone. Wulf thanked Durgeddin as he once again set his battleaxe ablaze and waded into the thick of the fighting, near where he guessed Alliane to be. 

These creatures, whatever they were, were no fools: they concentrated their attacks on the party’s healer and used the darkness to befuddle their foes. But ultimately, Wulf and Keldas maneuvered Alliane into safety, where she called on Corellan for _Daylight_ to banish the darkness; the cave-dwellers fell quickly, once revealed. The last few stragglers fled, easily escaping Wulf and the halfling, though at least one was pursued by the fleet-footed barbarian and cut down in the street. (So much they surmised when Halma came trotting back moments later, a big grin on his face. They’d pretty much learned to accept that when Halma ran off alone after some poor bastard, sword in hand, sooner or later he’d come trotting back, looking deeply satisfied.)

While the halfling checked the filthy, nearly naked bodies for hidden coins, Keldas took note of the real treasure they’d gained—a convenient bolt-hole of their own, should they need it. The building appeared to be some sort of abandoned warehouse, and if creatures such as these could take up residence here, right in the middle of a populated area, and remain unnoticed— well, it was a good bet they could use it themselves, too.

Wulf’s mind was occupied with trying to figure out who was next on his “To Do” list. Ratmen and morlocks? That made little sense. Surely somebody else was calling the shots. Wulf felt the gods calling to him, in a very real and personal sense; and the voices that called the loudest, in the least divine and dignified terms, were telling Wulf quite clearly to find that “somebody” and put his boot in their ass. And the longer it took to deliver that steel-toed, hob-nailed justice, the more foul Wulf’s mood was sure to become.

Unfortunately, there were no clues to lead them to their next “appointment.” They wandered the streets back to their inn, though the tale of yet another daring battle raced ahead of them. By the time they returned to their rooms, the grateful populace, led by Captain Shella and the dwarven smith Shuma, had organized a celebration party for them, and they were shuffled off in the midst of a drunken throng.

They celebrated long into the night, though Wulf drank little, brooded petulantly, and took out his frustrations on his companions. Halma was plied with dwarven ale that was far too strong for a human boy unused to spirits of any kind, and Keldas was subject to more race-baiting than usual. Wulf whiled away the remaining time making furtive gestures towards the halfling’s drink—forcing the paranoid peck to throw out several perfectly good drinks in favor of yet another “fresh” one.

Just as Wulf felt that he could stand no more, the party finally ended, and the companions spilled out onto the street to find their way home. Wulf was miserable— more time wasted, and no closer to the heroic conclusion. He prayed to the gods to direct him to the object of their righteous wrath. Something. _Anything._

A raspy voice called to them from the alleyway. It was a ragged old man— no, a woman, though it made little difference— a beggar of some sort. She rocked back and forth, muttering and mumbling, though between babbling and begging she seemed to have moments of cryptic insight. 

“Seek... the Speaker in Dreams!”

_At last!_, Wulf thought; his heart swelled with emotion as he realized his prayers had once again been answered: A bum to kick around. 

Oh, the gods were wise. It was as if Moradin had draped his arm across Wulf’s shoulders and said, “Here, boy. Kick around this worthless bum for a bit, get it out of yer system, right? In the mornin’ yer’ll feel better and know just what to do.”

_That Moradin._ Wulf grinned. _He’s one wise old geezer. Praise Moradin!_ Feeling a religious epiphany upon him, Wulf instinctively made the fist and stepped closer to the old beggar woman.

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Keldas’ shrill and ever-annoying voice roused Wulf from his divine reverie. Keldas stepped between them and pressed a coin into the beggar’s hand “What did you just say?”

“Yer in my way...” Wulf stomped about impatiently. 

Keldas stood up while the old woman continued her babbling. “This woman is an oracle of some kind. If you pay attention, you might find out who’s behind all this.”

“Aye, and if yer pay her another coin, she’ll tickle yer palm and tell yer fortune. I’ve seen this scam before.”

Keldas ignored him and spoke softly to the old woman. “Who is the Speaker? Where can we find him?”

“He is the Master. He is the Speaker.”

“Yeah, yer said that already. Now how about that WHERE part?”

“He is the Speaker. Seek Those Who Hear Him.”

Wulf tugged hard on his beard, trying to control his frustration. “Now look, I got no patience for yer creepy old crone act. If yer got summat to say, say it!”

The old woman cackled and started to shuffle away. 

“All right then. If yer not gonna direct this beatin’ where it rightly belongs...” Wulf hitched up his belt, but the old woman had already moved off into the darkness.

Wulf raised his eyes to the gods and bellowed in frustration. "If yer got summat to say, say it!"

Another voice spoke to them from the doorway of the tavern. "Well, if you just need something to do, there's the haunted bookstore..."

A wild-eyed, red-haired dwarf stepped into the street with them. "People say it's haunted, always hearing weird noises and talkin' about the whispering ghost."

The halfling chimed in. "A ghost, we _don't_ need."

The dwarf kept on. "I got my own suspicions about the place. Go with me, and we can check it out."

"Who are you?" Keldas looked suspiciously at the dwarf.

"They call me..." his eyes darted up and down the street, "..._the Roach._"

Wulf nodded. Now _this_ was a sign he could appreciate. Didn't really matter if he could trust this Roach fellow or not-- one way or another, there was sure to be a good ruckus at the end of it. "Sounds good to me. Lead the way."

It was nearing midnight, but the dwarf led them away to another part of town. The streets started to slope sharply upwards and they realized they were trudging to the top of a hill. Perched at the apex was the old bookstore.

The building was unlike anything they'd ever seen. Everywhere your eyes came to rest, there was some new piece of unsettling architecture- impossible angles, arches, and colors, unusual metals and stones that even Wulf could not identify, and seemingly infinite additions. Overall the house seemed not so much designed and built by human hands, as something grown organically from a fever dream.

Keldas looked over at Wulf. "Oh, THAT'S inconspicuous."

Wulf just grinned and pulled his cloak tighter around him.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part V)*

Wulf crept through the shadows, under a ground floor window where a lamp was burning, and carefully peeked in. An old man sat at a desk, writing into a book. 

Wulf returned to his companions. "Old geezer in there. Yer want me to take him out?"

Keldas sighed. "He's probably just a harmless librarian. Let's just knock."

"Ach... That plan worked _great_ last time, right?"

"Well, I'm just saying, maybe a more subtle approach is in order. Why don't we make a distraction so we can get in and read that book."

Their new companion, the Roach, stepped forward. "Leave that to me." With Halma, Alliane, and the halfing behind him, he moved to the front of the house and boldly knocked on the door. Wulf and Keldas watched from the window as the old man got up and left the room.

Keldas acted quickly, using his magic to transform himself into a small mouse. Wulf lifted the window and set him on the sill. The little mouse hopped onto the desk, whiskers twitching, and began reading the book.

Wulf half hoped the old man kept a cat.

Back at the front door, the Roach took the lead as soon as the old man opened the door-- proving himself to be remarkably eloquent and silver-tongued.

"Good evening sir. We-- that is to say, my companions and I-- we are taking up a collection for the orphans."

"Isn't it a little late to be out for that?"

"Ahh, well, yes, but you see, it's for the orphans, and we've found that people appreciate an opportunity to ease their conscience, especially at this late hour, you see, so that they can sleep easily and not lie awake worrying about the orphans." He produced a can from somewhere on his person and jiggled it invitingly under the old man's nose.

"What are you talking about? What orphans?"

"Ahh, umm, the orphans of the great Illithid wars. The mind flayers, sir, they prey terribly on us dwarves, and it's for the orphans, as I told you, so you see."

Inside the room, the mouse was having difficulty with the book. He couldn't manage to turn the pages, and there was but a short fragment of a sentence scrawled onto the top of the next page. It seemed nothing more than the ramblings of a madman.

Back at the front door, the old librarian's manner suddenly seemed to turn around. "Very well, come in, come in. The Illithid Wars! For such a noble cause, of course I can find something." The dwarf followed the old man into the house, with the halfling and Halma right on his heels-- they seemed unwilling to let either the librarian or this Roach fellow out of sight. Alliane was left waiting on the doorstep, gazing up and down the street.

Keldas had little time to leap down off the table and scurry over to a nearby bookshelf, before the librarian parted the curtains and stepped into the back office. Keldas transformed himself into a bookworm and burrowed deeper into hiding. The Roach and the halfling followed the old man into the back room, but Halma stayed out front.

"Let's see..." the old man thought aloud, "Where did I keep my purse?" His eyes scanned the room for a moment before settling on a small closet door adjacent to the bookshelf where Keldas was hiding. "Ahh, yes. In here." And with that, he flung wide the door to the closet.

Of all the treacheries the party could have suspected, they were not ready for the one they were met with. A huge blob came _fallumphing_ out of the closet, all eyes and mouths; and, once setting those countless eyes on the party, began a crazed gibbering, slobbering, and wailing that likened to wake the whole neighborhood. The old man laughed maniacally as the blob oozed into the room.

The effect of the gibbering creature was impressive. The halfing stood shock still, even as the creature attached numerous mouths to his flesh and started sucking the life right out of him. Halma, too, seemed dazed, and wandered about in the front room. From his position outside the window Wulf was also affected, and stood watching in silent horror, unable to move and unsure what to do.

Only the Roach seemed to have control over his senses. Wulf watched as his fellow dwarf went wild-eyed, his hair standing on end-- it was a sight to match the old librarian himself. The two engaged in a war of wills, slamming each other about with concussive mental forces that Wulf could not comprehend-- although, it must be noted, he appreciated greatly.

Halma suddenly seemed to regain his senses, drawing his sword and rushing into the room, but at the last moment he struck out instead at the halfling, wounding him deeply. It seemed suddenly like a very good idea to Wulf, and he dashed to the front of the building, looking to kill Alliane-- who, fortunately for her, had wandered off into the dark streets. Thwarted, Wulf ran inside and came to blows with the first opponent he could find: Halma-- though fortunately for Wulf, the young barbarian barely seemed to notice.

The halfling regained his senses long enough to start struggling against the blob creature, fending off its disgusting mouths and detaching the ones that were already feasting. But he was fading fast. Hope seemed to come for a moment when a lion suddenly erupted from the bookshelf-- only for Keldas to hear for the first time (now that he had taken a shape with ears) the gibbering wail, and he too stood dumbfounded. 

The Roach was looking beaten and bedraggled, as was the old librarian. Each time the dwarf pounded the old man with some inner concussive force, the old man would respond with a larger concussion that rocked the whole room. Everyone in the jam packed back room was bleeding from places that ordinarily shouldn't-- eyes, ears, noses-- and the hungry blob was there to lap it all up. 

Wulf summoned all his strength of will and tried to concentrate on the situation before they were all dead. In his brief moment of clarity, it seemed to him that killing the old wizard would do them little good if the blob's wailing continued, as they'd soon kill each other in the confusion. He brought _Taranak_ to hand and charged the blob, cleaving it in two in one expert stroke. The wailing stopped and they all regained their senses.

Keldas the lion made short, grisly work of the librarian. 

Wulf sent Halma running into the night to bring Alliane back to heal their wounds. It took every bit of her skill and magic, and even so they were none of them feeling better than about half strength.

Thus weakened, and without any further magic to support them, they did the only thing that adventurers in their situation _could_ do:

Wulf headed down the back stairs, alone, to check out the darkened basement, while Halma trooped up the same narrow flight to see what hell he could unleash on the next floor.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part VI)*

Wulf got about halfway down the stairs, took one look at the eerily dark and silent basement, and decided Halma could probably use his help upstairs. He grabbed the rest of the group on his way past the main floor.

The second floor of the creepy bookstore was the first place they found any bookstacks. A narrow passage down the right hand side of the building, with open windows to the street, gave way on the left to bookshelves that jutted out into the room, dividing it up into neat cubicles. Curtains were strung across adjacent bookshelves, thus hiding at least half the room from view. What little space was not packed with musty books was cramped. Wulf jostled Halma out of the way.

Wulf crept into the room, past another closet or wardrobe that had been built into the room. Leaving the unopened door at his back, he crept a little farther into the room, straining his eyes and ears for any sign of an enemy hiding in the bookstacks behind the curtains. He heard footsteps behind him, and assumed it was Halma, falling into fighting formation.

Unfortunately, it was the Roach. "Hey, what's wrong with checking out this door?" So saying, he flung wide the closet door. 

Not unexpectedly-- to Wulf, at least-- another gibbering blob flopped out and began wailing. And feasting. 

The creature latched on to the Roach, whose stocky dwarven frame blocked the doorway. Wulf and Halma could only watch and hope that the dwarf knew how to use the axe he drew from his side.

From across the room behind them, there was the unmistakable sound of breaking glass. Turning, Wulf found himself facing down a huge, otherworldly guardian. It towered over him-- indeed, over Halma-- and looked rather like an alien gorilla. A very large, very angry alien gorilla. 

While Wulf pondered the abrupt appearance of this creature, and attempted to size it up, looking for strengths (enormous muscles and razor sharp claws and teeth) and weaknesses (ahh, none, really), Halma leapt past him to engage it, his greatsword hissing as he drew it out for battle. 

The halfling had just entered the room through the narrow stairs, followed closely by Keldas, but there wasn't room for everyone to engage the enemy. Wulf thanked the gods for Halma, put his back to the gorilla, and turned his attention to the blob, who had drained the Roach near unto death. Wulf hurled javelins, past the weakened, flailing body of his fellow dwarf, but the creature seemed to care little. The halfling stepped nearer and pulled a flask of alchemist's fire out of his pack.

Normally, having been splashed and burned too often to count, Halma would protest such an action. So too would Wulf, who had realized long ago that the fire was just an excuse to keep the halfling out of real combat. But this time, before either of them could protest, it was Keldas who slapped the halfling hard from behind:

"We're in a _library_, you damned fool!"

The halfling groused and grumbled, but put away his fire and surveyed the room. What with Wulf and the Roach at the closet at the front, and Halma going toe-to-toe with a giant gorilla in the hallway, there was nothing he could do. 

"Fine, I'll watch..."

"Like hell yer will!" Wulf drew another javelin and pointed it at the halfling. "Just tumble yer happy arse over there behind that gorilla and get crackin' with yer daggers."

As if in response, the gorilla slammed Halma hard, nearly pounding him flat. It was the first time the creature had hit him, and it had nearly killed him in one blow. One look at that, and the halfling balked again.

"At least get out of my way!" shouted Keldas, who had prepared a <iDisplacement</i> spell for Halma. The halfling smugly stepped back to let Keldas pass.

Keldas' intervention was not a moment too soon. Just as he laid the protective spell on Halma, another wild-eyed villain stepped out of the curtains at the far end of the room. A mental blast shot from his forehead and struck Halma, freezing him in his tracks. The gorilla struck at the paralyzed barbarian, but was foiled by the displacement.

Alliane stepped into the room and pulled the Roach free of the blob. Wulf took a quick step forward, drawing _Taranak_ and slicing into the blob. His javelins must have had some effect, after all: the creature collapsed in one hit. Before it had hit the ground Wulf had turned, drawn a dagger, and hurled it at the sorceror at the end of the room.

Wulf jerked his thumb at the halfling. "Move it, peck. Yer got work to do..."

The halfling sighed and tumbled into the room: bouncing, springing, and cartwheeling past Wulf, past Halma, past the gorilla, to face the sorceror. It was an effective, if wholly unmanly, method of locomotion. He drew his little daggers and menaced the sorceror in a way that only half-crazed, knife-wielding circus acrobats can do. The surreality of the assault was lost on the mad sorceror, whose twisted mind was no doubt filled daily with scenes even more bizarre.

Keldas dragged Halma to safety so that Wulf could step up to flank the gorilla across from his fellow rogue. He struck hard, his twin axes seeking its vitals, but he was shocked to find that, being constructed of aether, the gorilla _had_ no vitals.

"Uh oh." Though he had done considerable damage, the gorilla hardly seemed fazed.

"What? What?" The halfling looked worried, and Wulf couldn't have that. If the halfling found out that his daggers would be useless against the gorilla-- more useless than normal, that is-- then he'd bolt in a second.

"Never yer mind. Just keep stickin' that old geezer!"

And stick he did, turning his back just in time to miss the gorilla go trampling over Wulf to get to Halma. As he lay flat on his back, wincing at broken ribs, Wulf couldn't help but notice that he'd never heard of a gorilla _trampling_ anyone before. But then, most gorillas were not nine-foot tall constructs of unadulterated aetherial muscle. Wulf slowly got to his feet and looked at Keldas from beneath the arch of the gorilla's legs.

"Another hit like that and I'm a dead man."

The halfling was doing his best against the madman-- though it must be noted, against an undistracted foe aware of his approach, the halfling's best was rather short of nothing much. He toyed again with his pack, no doubt looking for a flask of fire, but was once again shouted down by the group. He pulled his hand back like a kid caught reaching for the cookie jar. 

Keldas stepped to a window at the back of the room and began to change shape again-- this time, a very small gold dragon. He darted out the window and disappeared into the sky. Wulf knew better than to think that Keldas had abandoned them (apart from his arrogant attitude, fragile constitution, fancy-boy clothes, unmanly choice of armaments and spells, and laughably androgynous features, he was rather atypical for an elf), but it was little consolation to Wulf when the gorilla turned to face him.

Wulf moved desperately to avoid the creature's blows, but he was not fast enough. Another crushing hit left him staggered and as near to death as he could ever recall. He half wished the blow had knocked him unconscious, so he wouldn't be alive when the next one splattered him across the non-fiction section.

Keldas the dragon entered the fray again from the opposite end of the room, hovering right behind the madman, his sinewy neck striking through the open window. Wulf saw the man stagger, and looked wistfully over. If he had to go, he'd at least like to take one of these bastards with him. Wulf desperately wanted to finish him off. Perhaps, if the sorceror fell, the gorilla creature would go, too.

As if reading his mind, Keldas warned him away. "Kill that gorilla, or more are going to die."

Well, to hell with that... There was another open window just to his left. He could dive out. Probably he wouldn't even break his neck doing it-- it was only the second floor. He could dive out. He could get away.

_More are going to die._ Halma was still frozen motionless, just _staring_ at Wulf.

"Ach, ferkit."

Wulf summoned all his strength to take out the gorilla creature. He'd seen Halma hit it several times, several good shots, and he hit it himself as well. Another couple of hits and it would drop. Surely, it would drop.

He dug into the deepest recesses of hidden dwarven strength. "For my dwarven ancestors!"

He called on the power of the One Father himself. "For Moradin!"

He hit it a couple more times. "For Halma! And Keldas!"

It didn't drop.

What _did_ happen was that Halma finally managed to summon the will to throw off his mental paralysis. He slowly swung into action and slashed at the creature twice more himself, opening up huge gashes across its chest. _Still_ it didn't drop. Wulf just laughed-- to think, he actually thought he could finish it off. He'd never seen any creature take so much punishment before-- and he'd fought a bloody _dragon_, right?

Fortunately, the gorilla turned its attention back to Halma, despite the haze of _Displacement_ that surrounded him, and its mighty fists found nothing but air. Between the two of them, Wulf and Halma _finally_ managed to finish it off. The creature shattered into a thousand shards of light and disappeared. Its master didn't last much longer.

Alliane spoke up from the back of the room. "Well, boys, let's call it a night, shall we?"

Her words were punctuated by the staccato stamp of booted feet retreating into the night. They were already way ahead of her.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part VII)*

A good night's rest and the dawning of a new day dispelled the nightmares of their last outing, but Wulf's gloominess was as strong (and prophetic) as ever. 

Their newfound ally the Roach was gone as mysteriously as he'd appeared-- taking with him several crystal rods they'd recovered from the corpses, but which Keldas was unable to fathom.

Instead, Keldas had spent the night going over the mad librarian's journal, as well as a handwritten note recovered from one of the others. Both documents hinted that something _eeeevil_ was brewing, and the note itself spoke openly of sinister plans. _"Continue your disruptions until the day of the Baron's speech. The plan moves forward!" _

It _was_ the day of the Baron's speech, and they still had not been granted audience to speak with him. Once again they trooped off to the Baron's manor house, this time with evidence in hand; and once again they were stymied at the door by the inimitable major domo, Cadricus.

"Good morning, good morning!"

"We're here to see the Baron."

"Yessss... and you would be...?"

"Yer know damn well who we be!" Wulf grabbed the note from Keldas and shoved it under Cadricus' nose. "We found this. The Baron is in trouble, and we need to speak to him NOW."

"Ahh, yes." His eyes flickered across the note, barely registering it. "I will be happy to bring this to his attention..."

"No, we need to speak with him." Even Keldas was angry now.

"Yes, but as you know, the Baron is busy preparing for a big speech today, and has no time to accept strange visitors with outlandish tales of treason."

It was quite enough for Wulf. In an instant, the preeminent thought in his mind flicked from finding a way to protect the Baron, to finding even the flimsiest excuse to kick Cadricus' teeth down his throat. In the appropriately heroic fashion, and at the appropriately heroic time, of course. 

"Right. Right then, no problem." He smiled cheerfully. "Just so long as yer know that if anything happens to the Baron, I'm going to personally hang yer by yer own gutstrings. Have a nice day!" 

Cadricus was not one to be put off by threats-- nor even by a usurped and premature dismissal. "We hope you'll be joining us at noon for the Baron's speech!" He turned and walked away, nonchalantly stuffing the note into a pocket to be forgotten.

---------

On their way back to the inn, as they twisted their way through the narrow streets and alleys, they were surprised to find a sudden fog descending upon them. They paused, and shortly heard a high-pitched cry from somewhere ahead. 

"Helllllp!"

Halma found his greatsword leaping to his hand. "Lady needs help!" He looked to Wulf for support, but the dwarf just shrugged.

"Knock yerself out." He stepped aside to let Halma past, and the barbarian surged forward, dragging tendrils of mist after him. Keldas and Alliane were not far behind. The halfing decided he'd rather follow them than stand in the mist with Wulf; and Wulf decided he'd rather follow them all than stand in the mist alone, watching his beard grow damp.

The narrow alley gave way to a small opening where a tiny shrine to Heironeous was erected. In the mist, to Wulf's untrained eye, it looked more like a crypt than a shrine, but he had little time to notice details. He'd no sooner stepped into the clearing than he noticed Halma standing dumbfounded yet again, and he found himself the target of an unpleasant and unfamiliar spell. Small sparks of electricity arced from a sorceror crouched atop the shrine, struck him, then resonated between him and Halma. He grit his teeth for the worst, but it was over almost as soon as it started. He was barely singed.

"Oh, if that's the best yer got, yer in for a bad day!" Wulf hurled a brace of daggers at the sorceror, who grunted and dropped out of sight. Wulf was sure he'd found his mark, but certain he couldn't have killed the man with so little effort. The sound of footsteps bouding across the rooftops confirmed his suspicions.

Keldas moved into the shrine and found a young woman bound there. He stooped to free her, but she waved him away. "They took Elaine! You have to go after them!"

"Who is Elaine?"

"Too late." Halma stood in the doorway and ducked to enter. "They run-- no tracks."

Keldas sighed and continued working on the ropes. Wulf entered the small shrine to join the crowd, elbowing the elf out of the way and deftly unknotting the ropes with practiced fingers. 

"And who might yer be, then?"

"My name is Toria. I am an acolyte to Elaine. We are paladins of Heironeous, maintaining this simple shrine in honor of the Lord of Valor."

Wulf rolled his eyes. "Ohhh, aye, a valorous callin' if ever I heard one. Paladins! Pfah." 

Toria cast a reproachful eye at Wulf, whose utter disdain was painted in broad strokes across his face. He stepped out of the shrine and away from her gaze.

Keldas joined him shortly. "I told Toria we would take her to stay with Shuma."

"I guessed yer might..."

"She needs a safe place to stay."

Toria brushed past Wulf, talking quietly with Halma-- who was, as usual, smitten at the mere sight of a pretty young human. Wulf frowned, recalling that Halma's orcish enslavement hadn't afforded him much peaceful contact with his own kind.

"As long as she's not coming with us after that. Last thing I need is a paladin muckin' up the works." _Or a pretty little chit._

------------

By the time they'd gotten back to Shuma, and recounted their adventures since the previous night, it was time to return to the market square to hear the Baron's great speech.

A huge crowd was gathered for the occasion, milling about until so many people had packed into the square, there was barely room to move. Nevertheless, they seemed to make way for Wulf and his friends, who moved blithely through the crowd with their weapons on proud display. They were, after all, the heroes of Brindenford. The crowd made a small space around them as the Baron came out to give his speech.

He stepped forward onto a huge stage erected for the occasion. On his right stood Cadricus, the major domo; on his left, there stood a woman they had not seen before; and close at hand stood two burly bodyguards. The Baron stepped to the front of the stage, and as he began to speak, the crowd roared their approval-- such that even Wulf himself was caught up in the excitement.

"My fellow citizens... I want to welcome you to Brindenford!"
_"Huzzah!"_

"It is my sincerest wish that this year's Merchant Festival be the most enjoyable, memorable, and profitable ever!"
_"Aye! Good man! Good man!"_

"As you know, we have had some... disturbances... in the city over the past few days..."
_Wulf raised an eyebrow and prepared to humbly soak up the adulation of the crowd._

"And they have been dealt with quickly..." 
_Wulf shook Taranak over his head. "Yer damn right!"_

The Baron grew serious. "But they continue unabated. This cannot be permitted." 
_"Aye, an' it won't! I, Wulf Ratbane, swear it!"_

"Effective immediately, the possession of weapons within the city is prohibited..." 
_"EH?" _

"Captain Shella has been relieved of her post and has fled into hiding along with other rebellious officers of the guard."
_Wulf looked over at Halma, who was already backing out of the murmuring crowd._

"No one shall be permitted to leave the city."
_"Oh, yer just watch me!"_

The Baron continued. "The worship of Pelor..." 
_Wulf saw a chance to turn their fortunes around, so he happily pumped his fist in the air. "Up Pelor! Love the sun!"_

"...is hereby prohibited. Pelor has failed us!" 
_Wulf kept his fist in the air. "Yah! F--- the sun!" _

"The temple has been reconsecrated to our new protector, HEXTOR!" 
_Wulf pumped his fist wildly. "Up the Fist! Go Hextor!"_

There was a thundering roar as across the city, a column of fire sliced through the heavens and shattered the golden dome of Pelor's temple. Wulf looked back to the stage when the smell of brimstone overpowered his nostrils.

"And I am happy to announce that I have made certain agreements to extend the proper protection over our fair city!" 

Two demons hovered above the stage-- one, a scaly, blue, dragonlike creature; the other, a giant skeletal warrior with a scorpion's whip tail.

As the crowd broke into a full-fledged panic around him, Wulf slowly lowered his fist. 

"WE'RE F..."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part VIII)*

With their eyes on the column of everlasting fire emanating from the defiled temple of Pelor, they stumbled back to Shuma's shop to regroup and try to figure out what was going on-- and what they'd do next. Shuma informed them that Shella was missing, and that the Very Old Man had gone into hiding. Shuma's apprentices were busy carrying weapons downstairs into a secret chamber before the guard came to confiscate them. 

Wulf brandished _Taranak_. "Let's see 'em try to take this away. I'll split 'em from stem to stern."

Keldas clucked disapprovingly. "You can't just kill the guards. I'm sure they're no more happy about their new 'masters' than we are. They have families. Wives. Children. What are they supposed to do? This town is their home."

"This town is _screwed_. They should leave. Quit. Hide. Or better yet," he said, as _Taranak_ burst into flame, "get pissed and kick some arse."

"You can't kill the guards. They're victims of circumstance."

"Right. I'm the circumstance."

Keldas sighed. "Do your best."

"Not makin' any promises."

Halma and the halfling set to work trying to find a way to disguise his greatsword, finally settling on tying it up inside a bundle of long sticks. Wulf nodded; from time to time, the halfling's craftiness came in handy. Halma seemed satisfied, but ready for action as always. "What now?"

Wulf looked to Keldas. "Well, we can't stay here. They'll be scryin' us, I'd reckon, an' we can't afford to give up Shuma and this hidey-hole."

"We'll move over to the old warehouse we cleared out. That should do for a while, at least. And we'll keep it dark, so they won't know what they're scrying."

"Right. An' then what? I can't shake this feelin' that somewhere, somebody needs killin'."

"I suppose we should just go back to that weird house, and see if we can find some clue as to who 'The Master' is."

------------

That night, after moving some of their things to the old warehouse, they prepared to assault the house again. Wulf had reasoned out that the summoned creatures could be kept at bay with a _Magic Circle_, and Alliane and Keldas confirmed as much (though not without insisting they'd already thought of it...) Keldas changed form again, and together with his owl familiar, they scouted the way to the house and helped the rest of the part avoid a few guard patrols on the ground. (The halfing wondered to himself who'd be warning _them_ if any of the demons happened to be patrolling the skies...)

They reached the house, noting that there were still lights in the windows, and more creepy madmen working at desks or wandering through the bookstacks. Alliane stopped a couple of houses away and prepared her protection spell. Halma crept up as best he could two houses farther down. In the center stood the converted library, where Wulf, Keldas, and the halfling lay in wait.

On the ground floor, they found one of the old men working at the desk, protected by a couple of the town guardsmen. The guards were clearly in cooperation with the villains, now-- though Keldas' words came back to Wulf and he wondered whether it was voluntary or not.

The halfing stepped up and offered to scout the house, pulling a potion of _Invisibility_ from his pack.

"Where'd you get that, peck?"

"None of your business." He downed the potion and disappeared. It was eerily silent as he crept off into the back room.

The halfing crept into the house and looked around the back room for anything useful. He opened the closet door as quietly as he could, but it was also empty. Just as he turned to creep back to the stairs at the rear of the room, the old man came through the curtain that separated the two rooms of the ground floor. He noticed the open closet door and stopped, calling quietly to his two guardsmen. "Hello... we have a visitor..."

The halfling moved before the first guardsman had even cleared the curtain. He tumbled past the old man and between the two guards, drew his two daggers, and completely eviscerated the first unwitting guard. He blinked into existence as his other dagger drove into the vitals of the second guard-- another bloody kill.

Wulf was up and running, dashing into the house to deal with the sorceror, killing him dead before he had a chance to act. 

With a look of both anger and pity on his face, Wulf was staring at the grisly remains of the halfling's victims when Halma and Alliane joined them. There was little time to discuss the matter. Keldas had cast _Detect Evil_ and was staring worriedly at the floor. "There's a lot more of them in the cellar... half dozen or so..."

Wulf and Halma moved towards the stairs, but Keldas stopped them. "I have a better idea," he said, already shifting shape once again. Before long Wulf was staring at a creature he'd only heard tales of in his youth: a huge, hulking humanoid, with grinding mandibles and a pair of grotesquely muscled arms tipped with rock-hard claws. It had two sets of multi-faceted eyes, and Wulf seemed to grow dizzy staring into them. He quickly looked away.

Keldas gestured to the warriors to gather round, then suddenly hunched over and ripped a huge hole clear through the floorboards. Halma jumped through the hole and started hacking around in the darkness. The halfling and Wulf dove through right behind him, quickly seeking out their flat-footed opponents and making mincemeat of them. The screams of the dying sorcerors were cut off in mere seconds, and the house was silent-- for a moment.

Upstairs, they heard that sound again-- a tinkling like breaking glass. And again. 

There were at least two of them, now. Two summoned creatures, and likely two sorcerors.

Halma dashed up the stairs to the second floor, and finding it empty, readied his sword to dash up the next flight. Wulf caught him just in time and grabbed his arm. He gestured Alliane to climb the stairs and grinned. "Just sit right there for a bit, m'lady. We'll wait 'em out, right?"

They waited a few moments until Alliane could sense that the summoned creatures had vanished. She took another step up the stairs. Again, the sound of breaking glass, and Alliane stopped to avoid forcing the barrier against the outsider.

Wulf shouted up the stairs. "We can go on like this forever, yer know!" Sure enough, before long, the way was clear-- the summoned creatures had disappeared back to where they had come from, and the sorcerors seemed to have given up summoning any more. The house was quiet again, and remained so for several moments.

"What are they _doing_?"

Keldas checked in with his familiar, who was still patrolling outside the house. The two sorcerors were clearly visible through the windows on the third floor. They were seated at a small table, blithely playing a game of chess.

Keldas the Umber Hulk clicked his mandibles-- an eerie sound that might pass for chuckling. He walked over under the table and prepared to rip the floor out from under them. Wulf, Halma, and the halfling readied their blades and nodded.

Keldas struck, rending through the crossbeams and collapsing the floor under the two sorcerors. Down came the woodwork, down came the desk, the chessboard, and the chairs-- but the sorcerors hung suspended in the air! They looked none too happy to have their game interrupted.

"Uhhh..."

"Look out!" shouted the halfing, diving for cover as sheets of whitefire rained down onto them. Wulf dodged out of the way, Keldas and Alliane were hurt badly, and Halma-- ever leery of being burned-- flew into a rage. Wulf started hurling daggers while Halma left the protection of the _magic circle_ and raced off up the stairs. Alliane shook her head and tried to move into position on the floor below to keep him safe, but she could tell it was pointless. The sound of breaking glass once again heralded the arrival of more other-worldly bodyguards. This time a wolf-headed creature and another elephant stopped Halma in his tracks. His friends saw his greatsword come whistling around, then he was pushed out of sight by the swirling melee.

Wulf and the halfling had both already thrown what daggers they had. Wulf switched to his trusty sling while the halfling once again started rummaging about for something useful. Another blast of whitefire rocked them, but Keldas held his concentration and returned fire with _Melf's Acid Arrow_. 

Suddenly, a bloody corpse came tumbling down the hole. It was Halma-- or rather, what little was left of him. The sorcerors above laughed maniacally.

"I'll kill yer, yer bastards!" Wulf found _Taranak_ blazing in his hand. For the moment, his fiery rage held back the genuine loss and sorrow that beat at him like a hammer. He scarcely noticed when another blast of whitefire came whistling down, sending the halfling tumbling for cover and knocking the two elves off their feet. Neither Keldas nor Alliane would be getting up again.

Wulf screamed, the taste of blood rising into his mouth, but the halfling was pulling him away. Above, the sorcerors continued to laugh, asking one another, "Why don't they run?"

The halfling didn't need to be told twice. He used his dagger to nick a piece of flesh from Halma, and he was gone-- diving right out the second story window. 

Wulf pushed his rage into that stony, secret place where dwarven grudges go to simmer. His eyes never left the sorcerors as he cut the ears off Keldas and Alliane and chased off after the halfling through the dark streets.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part IX)*

On seperate paths, Wulf and the halfling both managed to make it back to the only safe place they could think of: Shuma's smithy. Wulf cornered the smith as soon as he got in the door. "If yer know where the old man is, get him over here." He pressed two elven ears into Shuma's palm. "The peck's got what's left of Halma."

The old man arrived shortly, already aware of the situation. He was bearing an ornate scroll case in one hand, and his holy symbol in the other. "Pelor be willing, I may be able to help your friends. I understand you took the trouble to bring back some token of their flesh; this act speaks well of them, but Pelor may require more. Get some rest, we'll begin in the morning."

Wulf and the halfling went upstairs to a small room. The halfling immediately lay claim to the single bed, flinging himself on it with abandon. Wulf crouched on the floor, pulling off his boots and socks while the halfling curled up, watching him. "You're just gonna sleep right there on the floor, huh? Okay."

"No, I'm not sleepin' at all. I'll keep watch for yer, right?" Wulf was already mulling over the many possible ways to off the halfling in his sleep-- slit his throat, set the bed on fire, smother him with a pillow... Problem was, he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the goodwill of the priest downstairs-- not until they'd done everything possible to bring Halma back. If he killed the halfing now, there'd be no way to cover up the deed, and he didn't relish trying to lie to a priest.

And though he never thought he'd admit it, he'd seen enough killing for one night. The halfling's brutal slaying of the guardsmen echoed in his mind. Wulf started filling his socks full of pennies; he dropped each coin in one at a time, in pace with the halfing's blissful breathing.

-------------

Wulf didn't sleep all night, and was bleary-eyed and beaten when Toria came to fetch them at dawn. "His Radiant Holiness is ready for you now."

Wulf roused the halfling and the two of them went downstairs, where Shuma's shop had been converted into a small shrine. The old man was dressed in shining raiments, his hands on the golden travelling altar before him. His eyes were closed as he faced the dawn, smiling thankfully before opening his eyes.

"I have made my prayers to Pelor. As the sun dies and rises again each day, he may craft new vessels of flesh for their souls, returning them to us once again.

"The soul's journey back to the realm of the living is a painful one, and your friends will not be exactly as they were before."

The old man picked up the scroll that Wulf had seen the night before. "This scroll contains ancient magic that has been with our temple long before even I had entered the service of Pelor. It is beyond my power to craft such magic of my own accord, though I can release the power of this scroll to cast _True Ressurrection._ This will ease the journey for one of your friends, bringing that one back safe and whole as ever they were when they were alive.

"My only question is... which of your friends shall receive this blessing, and which two shall suffer?"

Wulf spoke up immediately. "Halma. Bring him back safe."

The halfling chimed in. "Well, now wait a minute. If they lose memories and stuff, maybe it would be better to bring back Keldas, cause you know he's done a lot more studying than Halma, arcane arts and all-- and what does Halma have to lose, really?"

"Bring back Halma." Wulf glowered at the halfling, silencing his protests.

"Very well. I will begin with your elven friends, then. Understand, they are worshippers of their own god, and though there is friendship between all powers of goodwill, Pelor may yet request some service of them. Understand?"

"Aye, right. I hear yer loud an' clear. We'll get to your temple just as soon as we off those pricks that did this to 'em."

The old man smiled and began casting his spells. A shining brilliance filled the room, and when it had passed, Keldas and Alliane stood safe and whole before them. Toria quickly moved to drape some clothing around them.

The old man unrolled the ancient scroll. "Now for your young barbarian friend."

The old man began unleashing the spell from the scroll, but this time, instead of a flash of light, a look of consternation flashed across the old man's face. "Your friend... in the halls of great warriors... his soul resists..."

"Yer tell him Wulf says to come on back! I'll take care of him this time!"

"He says, 'Here in these happy halls, my mornings are spent hunting, with tests of valor and strength!'"

"Tell him to come back, an' ol' Wulf will take him hunting!"

"He says, 'Here in these happy halls, my afternoons are spent feasting on the finest food and drink!'"

"Tell him to come back, and Wulf will buy him endless flasks of the best dwarven ale!"

"He says, 'In these happy halls, his evenings are spent in the company of buxom barbarian women, who ease him to sleep with their tender caresses!'"

"Errr... Right... Keldas?"

Keldas spoke without looking up. "Tell him to return for vengeance, to set things right, and to finish what we've started."

There was a long pause, then the flash of light. Halma stood before them, grinning. Toria quickly covered him up.

Wulf pounded his fist into his hand. "Right! Get yer gear and let's go get those bastards!"

Keldas scowled at Wulf and rolled his eyes. "My _gear_ is either still lying on the floor, or divvied up amongst the enemy by now. Including my spellbook and my _Ring of Wizardry,_ which I'm sure you didn't think to claim before leaving."

Halma frowned, realizing he was in the same boat. "They get my sword, too?"

"Right, look, I know yer attached to that thing and all, but yer know damn well yer can use something else if yer have to. And yer just gonna _have_ to right now. Shuma?"

"I have some masterwork things here-- a chain shirt, a longsword or two. Obviously I cannot help your wizard friend."

"A longsword will do just fine. And a stout bow, too, if you have one." Keldas stood up and helped Alliane to stand. "We'll need to rest through the day; I have some power left, but Alliane must pray to Corellan for aid. We'll go back tonight."

---------

The party returned that night, a bit worse for wear, a bit less prepared-- but for once, Wulf didn't feel like he was the only one looking forward to the trip. Wulf let Keldas do the planning, and it was simple: he'd cast another _Polymorph_ spell from memory, fly everyone up to the roof, and they'd work their way through from the top down. It was a variant on "boot the door" and Wulf approved heartily.

Halma stalked along at the back of the group, his borrowed longsword looking like a toy in his hands. His downcast eyes stared at his feet as they headed step-by-step to the site of his demise. It was only when he felt Wulf's rough hands guiding him aside did he realize that they had arrived. He brushed Wulf aside gruffly. "What do you want?"

"Don't look, boy."

Their three bodies were impaled outside the house, stripped naked and left to rot.

Halma and Keldas alike flew into a rage, dashing forward to pull down the bodies. Wulf tried his best to lighten the mood, to no avail.

"Ach... Keldas, I see two elves, but I can't tell which one is yer cousin and which one is yer..."

"Can't say I appreciate what they done with the decor, right, Halma?"

"Ach, right. Well, let's get to the killin' then, yer humorless bastards."

Keldas transformed himself into a small dragon again and flew them all to the top of the roof. They didn't even bother being particularly quiet about it, and by the time the last of them was standing on the roof, they'd already heard that familiar sound heralding the summoned guardians. Soon, griffon-like creatures dove at them from the night sky, but Alliane's circle kept them at bay. She prepared personal _Protection from Evil_ spells for Wulf and Halma so that they could move outside the circle. Keldas _Hasted_ himself then cast more combat spells on Halma-- _Rapid Strikes, Displacement, _ the usual. Finally, Keldas shifted shapes once more, and soon the umber hulk was tearing huge gouges out of the roof.

They looked in on the top floor: more bookstacks, of course, but this time there was a sorceror there they did not recognize. Wulf marked him as unfamiliar and thus, obviously the leader. Wulf was the first through the hole, only noticing afterwards that there were more rhino-headed guardians inside, but it was too late to warn the halfling and Halma before they dropped down as well. Wulf moved up face to face with the leader, drawing _Taranak_ as he stalked resolutely forward. Before he could take the first swing, the sorceror unleashed a massive mental blast. The halfling seemed to shrug it off but Wulf and Halma stood stunned.

The rhino creatures could not attack, but there was nothing stopping the sorcerors. An ectoplasmic wall sprang up, isolating Wulf from the rest of the party. The sorcerors calmly drew their shortswords and approached Wulf, stabbing at him repeatedly while he defended himself feebly. He'd taken up a position between the bookstacks to keep them away from his friends behind him, but they seemed content to hack through him first. He cursed at them through gritted teeth. 

"Give me yer best shot, yer pricks!"

"Ach... Right, one more..."

"Come on!"

Wulf was bleeding from countless wounds when Keldas came crashing through the roof. His huge claws ripped clean through one of the lesser sorcerors, forcing the leader and his last henchman to move away and throw up another wall of mental force. Now, it was the two of them sequestered with the halfling. 

He tumbled back and forth, trying to threaten both of them while at the same time keeping them from flanking him. They took turns stepping out his reach and pummeling him with concussive force-- or simply slashing at him with their swords. He was losing fast, and without his allies to set up his own devious sneak attacks, it was hopeless.

But Keldas wasn't resting. He smashed through the bookstacks, clearing a path, then he and Alliane set to work trying to dispel the transparent wall. They finally succeeded, and Keldas began clawing at the other henchman. This only served to draw the ire of both remaining sorcerors, who joined forces smashing Keldas with concussive force, nearly killing him again. Wulf finally shook off his stupor and rushed forward to haul Keldas out of the way. 

"One o' these days yer gonna learn to leave the fightin' to the fighters!"

Halma was also up and moving, and soon enough they had the henchman killed and the leader cornered in the back of the room. He let out a defiant scream before he was cut to pieces by Wulf, Halma, and the halfling. 

At last, the house was quiet.

Keldas wasted no time searching the house, and was pleased to find his backpack, including his spellbook and most of his scrolls. His ring, and Halma's greatsword, were still missing.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (Part X, FINALE)*

Though they'd ended up with less than they started with, and though three of them had endured an unpleasant journey to the afterlife, they finally felt that they'd accomplished something. And for a change, the next stop on their agenda wasn't another stab in the dark: There was a huge column of fire emanating from the ruined dome of the Temple of Pelor-- an open gate to the Nine Hells. 

It's good for a hero to have his path laid out so clearly. 

Once again they prepared themselves for battle. _Magic Circle of Protection_ was a must, of course, and not knowing what spellcasting foes they'd face, Wulf advised Alliane not to skimp on them, either. "Best thing yer can pray for now, if yer want my advice. Well, that an' _Bull's Strength_." 

This time, though knowing full well it would make little difference, they headed out during the daytime. It wasn't so much that they expected the fiends' powers to be at all lessened in the sunlight, just that no one particularly relished the thought of meeting them in the dark. 

They approached through the narrow, twisting alleys and were pleased to find that the blue abishai was not patrolling the skies, as usual. Wulf and the halfling crept up in advance of the party and looked out onto the courtyard where the temple stood. Two city guards were standing on the steps leading into the temple, looking frightened, anxious, and as if they'd rather be anyplace else at the moment. 

Without warning, the front doors of the temple opened up and the abishai came flying out. A disembodied voice nearby ordered the two guards to move out and attack. Wulf crept back a couple of buildings and pulled his cloak tight. 

The abishai flew over the two scouts and went right for Keldas, Halma, and Alliane. The two guards came running on, past the halfling, who was hiding and unwilling to give up his cover. Wulf let the first guard run past him, then sprung out of the shadows. His thick woolen sock, the end full of pennies, came rolling out of his belt and whistling down on the guard's cap, knocking him out instantly. The other guard skidded to a stop and turned to face Wulf. Wulf dropped his makeshift sap and advanced, drawing his axes. 

"Anybody don't want to get killed, better clear on out the back..." 

The guard didn't need to be told twice. Wulf was more than he'd be willing to handle even if he hadn't been forcibly pressed into service by infernal forces. He disappeared around the corner and Wulf didn't give him a second thought. 

Wulf turned his attention to the skies and the abishai hovering there. "Come on down, yer bastard, an' play a while." The abishai seemed to laugh, then screeched loudly. A rip opened in the sky and soon a green abishai hovered in the sky at the rooftops. "Ach, that's not good..." 

Halma wasn't wasting any time. He'd already hauled himself up a drainpipe and was racing across the rooftops to slam into the abishai, sword swinging, while Keldas zipped a _Melf's Acid Arrow_ as well. The blue abishai retreated to the sky while Alliane moved forward to bring her magic circle around her allies. Soon the halfling came pit-patting back to the party, wondering what they were supposed to do next. Wulf was still out ahead of the party, and got out his sling, though he had little hope of a simple stone having any effect on a fiend. He was surprised to find just the opposite, and the abishai moved further out of reach. 

Suddenly, a huge wall of ice sprang up across the narrow alley, cutting Wulf off from the rest of the party-- and the protection of Alliane's magic circle. The blue abishai swooped in for the kill, and Wulf drew his axes to defend himself. The walls of ice were just about level with the rooftops, so Keldas flew to the top of a building and secured a rope for his allies, dropping it down to the street below. Halma easily leapt from building to building, crossed the wall of ice, and jumped down to help Wulf, smashing into the blue abishai as he dropped. His longsword drove deep into the creature from the force of his fall, and though Halma was wounded in the heroic attack, the abishai crumpled beneath him. 

The green abishai retreated for a moment, then screeched, summoning a black abishai. _That's something, _thought Wulf. _At least they're getting weaker each time... _

More and more walls of ice sprang out of nowhere, and Wulf looked around desperately for the invisible sorceror who was casting them-- for certainly, only a sorceror could cast so many of the same spell repeatedly. Alliane had managed to climb to the rooftops as well and stood on the roof above Wulf and Halma, but her magic circle was too high above them to be of any help. The green abishai waited for another wall of ice to seperate Wulf and Halma, then swooped down to attack Halma. Its attacks seemed to drain the strength out of the barbarian, despite his rage. 

The black abishai flew off to have a little fun with the halfling, who was desperately trying to climb the rope. As soon as Alliane was out of range, the abishai attacked, catching the halfling halfway up the rope, clawing and stinging him repeatedly. The rope swung back and forth while the abishai batted him around like a kitten playing with a piece of string. The little rogue managed to hold onto the rope, but couldn't seem to decide whether to keep climbing, or drop off and run for it. He held on with one hand and feebly waved his dagger at the abishai; unimpressed, the fiend swept in to attack him again. From atop the building Keldas shouted down, "Climb, you idiot! Get back inside the circle!" 

The halfling climbed as fast as he could and made it to the roof, just in time for another wall of ice to spring up across the roof, blocking the halfling's approach to the other side of the building, where Alliane-- and safety-- waited. Wulf cursed the invisible sorceror, "Show yerself and fight, yer coward!" His taunts were rewarded shortly when the bone devil finally appeared. The fiend had sectioned Wulf off in a tiny arena of ice. Hovering over him, it began to sting him with its poisoned tail. "Ha! Bring it, yer prick! I can drink hemlock fer tea!" 

Well, that much was certainly true, the poison didn't do much-- but poison or no, the damn thing was still putting holes in him like a miner's pick. He wasn't going to last long at that rate, and the fiends weren't pulling any punches, no matter how much they appeared to be toying with the group. The black abishai let out a shriek, but instead of the expected white abishai, another blue one appeared. _So much for that theory... _

Up on the roof, the halfling was scrambling back and forth looking for a way through the ice wall. He went fishing for greek fire, as usual, but Halma shouted up at him, "Jump, peck! Jump!" The halfling eyed the distance across the rooftops and balked, but the repeated cries from his comrades (and the black abishai closing in) finally got him moving. He started tumbling and cartwheeling across the rooftops, making it across two different gaps in a rambling "run" that brought him all the way around the wall of ice to stand on the roof across from Alliane, looking down at his companions in the street below. 

Wulf knew he couldn't handle any more of the bone devil, so he took his chances and made a run for it, too, springing up to catch a drainpipe and start scrambling up a wall-- the same building where Alliane waited on the roof. The bone devil swiped at him as he moved away, but missed; but in his haste Wulf slipped and fell when he was halfway up the wall. He tumbled back to the street below and cracked his head, knocking himself out. _Better than getting stung again, I suppose... _

Keldas grabbed Alliane and flew her down to the street before the bone devil could move. Inching up close to the wall of ice, she could just overlap Wulf without pressing her barrier against any devils. Halma moved towards the bone devil to keep him away from Wulf. The halfling jumped down into the circle and waited to see what would happen next. 

Wulf slowly sat up, still staggered from the fall. He could make out the dim shadows of his allies on the other side of the wall, but could clearly hear them hollering for him to cut through the wall to safety. With _Taranak_ blazing in his hand, it was a simple effort to cut through the wall of ice, but even that light activity sent him reeling and he collapsed to the floor again, dying. _Here's hoping he doesn't just make a new wall in the same spot... _

Halma scurried through the hole in the wall and winced as the icy chill cut through him. "Drag Wulf through that-- he'll die." On the other hand, Alliane couldn't step close enough to heal him without shattering her circle of protection against the devils. The heroes fished around in their packs and forced a healing potion down Wulf's throat, then hauled him through the icy barrier. 

They were standing now almost in the courtyard of the temple. The bone devil and two abishai swooped down and waited outside the circle of protection. Wulf thought to himself: It would only take three of them to pin them down so that they couldn't move. After that, it was just a matter of waiting for the circle of protection to fall. Wulf looked up at his companions, all huddled close to Alliane for protection. "Been a good run, right?" 

Keldas spoke sternly. "We're not done yet." 

"Do the math, genius. We can't move." Wulf drew a little circle in the ground, punctuating it with three evenly spaced dots. "We're pinned down, see? We're gonna die." Sure enough the devils were capering happily outside the circle. 

Keldas sighed and started to transform again. "Never got past planar geometry, huh?" The umber hulk appeared, flexed its huge claws, and started digging... straight down. 

"Uhhh... well, right. Yer got me on that one." 

The umber hulk clawed their way down a good distance. Alliane cast another circle of protection on Halma. "Wait right here, keep them corked out, then follow us as soon as you can!" 

They kept digging until they splashed down into the sewers, then started running. Halma caught up to them soon enough. "Not following..." 

Keldas took charge. "Very good. Let's get out of here..." 

-----

They healed up, regrouped, and came up with a better plan. They were liking this Umber Hulk business very much indeed. 

"We'll dig our way right up into the temple... Surprise them from below." 

"Aye... right. But that bone devil's gonna be a pain again. Somebody's got to take him out. Yer give me _Displacement_ and _Improved Invisibility_, I'll handle it for yer." 

The halfling liked the sound of that. "Hey hey hey, if we're talking invisible, I'm a better rogue than you." He brandished his little daggers. "It should be me." 

"But yer not a better man than me, peck, an' yer never will be. Yer willin' to stick to the devil one way or another, an' take the fight to him without stoppin', without runnin', without whinin', till one or both of yer is dead? Will yer swear to that? Cause yer know I will." 

The halfling puffed out his chest. "Yeah, I'll do it. No big deal. You can trust me." 

Keldas spoke up. "Wulf can do it." 

They'd gotten another powerful scroll from the very old man-- more ancient knowledge from the followers of Pelor. Alliane could read the scroll, re-consecrating the temple, but the spellcasting process would take nearly a full day. 

"We'll just have to clear the place out first, then." 

They started digging for the temple, trusting on Wulf's innate sense of direction to get them on target. "Right. Here." They started digging upwards and came out in a small storage room. Wulf and the halfling peeked out of the door. "Looks like the temple, all right. Let's have that _Invisibility_." 

They were in a short hallway with two doors. They heard nothing at the first door, so they moved on down to the second one. They could hear priests talking inside. Wulf nodded to the halfling and they rushed into the room. They caught the priests flat-footed-- and with the expert tactics only a couple of ambidextrous two-weapon rogues could dream up ("Stab 'em real quick, about a dozen times each...")-- well, that's pretty much all there was to that. Halma burst into the room and couldn't find much of a trace of what they'd been fighting. 

But they'd made quite a ruckus. The first door opened and a priest crushed poor Alliane with his flail. Keldas shoved her out of the way and started snapping with his claws, forcing the priest back until Halma came dashing in to finish him off. Alliane was caught off guard, but she'd survive. She got her _Magic Circle _ready without further hesitation. 

They moved on and entered the dome. The blast of fire was quite a sight to see-- emanating from a pit in the center of the dome that was at least 10 feet deep, though it was hard to tell from blast. Wulf moved cautiously into the empty room, confident in his invisibility, and was quite surprised when a wall of ice sprang up from behind him, cutting him off from the rest of the party. He kept moving, just in case they were using _Detect Magic_ to try to pinpoint him. 

The rest of the group sprang into action, running back down the hall they'd come down, and taking a door that they'd correctly surmised led to the outside. They were doing an end run around the dome, intending to come in the front doors. Halma was the first one on the scene, and burst into the dome only to take some minor (but painful) magic from a little goblin-like imp. Keldas and Alliane were the next two to enter the dome, but before they could get fully into the room, another wall of ice sprang up across the dome, cutting them off, too. Keldas started to transform again so that he could cast spells or fly over the wall. 

Halma started fighting the imp, backed up by Wulf, but it was not long before the bone devil appeared and began attacking. Apparently satisfied that he had seperated the party, he started in on Halma. Keldas, hasted, flew over the wall to cast _Displacement_ on Wulf. The little imp had retreated, flying and invisible, and Wulf dove into the bone devil with gusto, wounding it badly and driving it off, where it hid invisibly again. 

The halfling had burned his way through the wall of ice and moved up to join Wulf by the column of fire. Suddenly, the bone devil swooped at him from the sky, trying to knock the peck into the column of fire. The halfling's uncanny senses warned him just in time, and the devil missed by inches. 

Wulf turned to face the devil, who was hovering in front of him in the column of fire. The bone devil was smug, sticking to the protection of the column of flame. Wulf could already feel the intense heat coming off it. 

"Ferkit." He swung his axes through the fire to connect with the bone devil. Sure enough, the blazing column burned like fire, too. His hands were singed, and the bone devil ignored him, assuming the lesson was learned. But Wulf grit his teeth and kept right on, hacking away at his enemy despite the fact that the burns and blisters on his arms worsened each time. The devil had decided to make a stand, but eventually he screeched and collapsed into the pit. Nobody was in any hurry to follow him down and "make sure." 

The imp had taken the better part of valor and disappeared. 

-----

They crossed the dome to the opposite side, where the architecture mirrored the side they'd entered from. Finding all the rooms empty, they climbed the stairs to the next floor. A single door awaited them, and when Wulf suddenly winked into existence again, heralding an _Invisibility Purge_, they surmised they'd found another enclave of priests. 

They rushed the door en masse, Wulf, Halma, and the halfling, but they found the priests ready for them, with their backs to the wall and their spells ready. Wulf was stopped in his tracks, his willpower unable to shake off the effects of their spells. Keldas moved into the room to lend support, and Alliane hung near the back, just close enough to overlap her magic circle. 

Halma and the halfling hacked away at one of the priests, felling him together, though he was clearly still alive when he dropped. _Good_, thought Wulf, _a prisoner._ The other priest stepped away from his assailants, reached down with a glowing hand, and grimly sucked the life force out of his own fallen ally-- swelling his own powers considerably. While the heroes stood open-mouthed at this turn of events, the priest stepped forward and laid his hand on the halfling's head. "Hextor, SLAY your enemies!" 

The halfling dropped dead. 

Moments later, Halma sent the priest to join him, but the deed was done. 

Wulf stepped up and looked down on the body. "Oh, that's too bad." He bent down and hacked the ears off the halfling before Keldas could stop him. 

"Why did you do that?" 

"Well, yer need some flesh if yer want the priest to help him, right?" 

"Well, yes, but the temple is empty now, we could have just carried his body back intact." 

"Oh. Right." Wulf tucked the ears into his pouch. "Sorry 'bout that." 

-----

They checked the rest of the temple and found it empty. Moving downstairs, they set Alliane up at the back of the dome to begin the casting. The rest of them staked out the three entrances to the dome. Wulf and Keldas each guarded a side door. Halma guarded the front doors. "Anybody come through, I kill him!" 
Unfurling the scroll, Alliane began the long casting process to reconsecrate the temple. 

She was not far into the casting when there was a knock on the front doors. Halma readied his long sword. The old rat-man, Turvin, stuck his twitching nose through the doors, and Halma let him have it. 

_Picked a bad time to come back, yer rat bastard. _

The old man was sent staggering back out of the temple. "Well, I was going to suggest you surrender, but you've changed my mind." He gestured to his rat-men. "Kill them all." 

Halma stood his ground at the door. Wulf desperately wanted to rush up and help him, but didn't dare leave his own post. The greasy rat-men slipped by Halma easily and moved into the room. Keldas was forced to move back to protect Alliane, just in case, but still Wulf held his post. 

It was the next wave of attackers that finally moved him. An ogre waded into the fray, crossing the front steps of the temple in a single pace. He battered at Halma until the young barbarian was forced to fall back. Severely wounded, Halma staggered back towards Wulf, who came forward to intercept the ogre. Wulf moved out just in time to see two of the little goblin imps appear and start casting spells. The evil foes gathered up into a wedge and drove the two fighters back. At the front of their wedge, the ogre-- or rather, as they were about to discover, the ogre-mage-- let loose a cone of cold that nearly killed Halma, and severely wounded Wulf, who was caught off-guard and unable to dodge. 

They strongly considered running, but Alliane kept right on reading, and Keldas shouted, "We're not going ANYWHERE!" Though he was wounded just enough that, in all likelihood, he'd be instantly killed by a single swat from the ogre, Keldas rushed up toe-to-toe with the creature and let fly with a _Burning Hands_ spell. The ogre-mage liked that none too well, and the arc of flame caught and killed Turvin and one of his rat-men. _Bonus! _

Wulf took the opportunity to weave his way through the remaining enemies to the ogre's back, slashing at him with _Taranak_ held in both hands. It proved just enough to drop the mighty foe, and Halma was able to stride forward and take out the last rat-man. Keldas let fly with Acid Arrows for the imps. They fled invisibly, but the acid stuck with them, eating away at them through the initial wound. The group was satisfied to see both of them drop dead moments later. 

Alliane was still reading the scroll. The rite went on. 

Alliane had no healing left, and they couldn't even afford to interrupt her even if she had. They were all within arm's reach of Death. 

Wulf helped Halma over to the side door. "I'm better off'n yer are, I'll take the front. Keldas, get back to yer spot." 

More time passed, when there came a polite knock on the front doors. Wulf shrugged and answered from within. "Aye?" 

"I am sent with this message: The Baron requests a meeting with you!" 

Wulf thought fast. This called for... diplomacy. 

"Tell his Grace that we humbly accept his invitation, and will call upon him on the morrow!" 

There was a long pause on the other side of the door. "Uhhhh... Okay." 

Wulf turned to smile at his friends and give them the thumbs-up. "That settles that. Keep readin', lady!" 

-----

They returned victorious to the old priest. His temple reconsecrated, he was more than willing to raise the halfling back to life. "Do you vouch for your friend, the halfling?" 

Alliane, Keldas, and Halma nodded. 

Wulf frowned. "Trust me. Yer makin' a big mistake." 

In the end, over Wulf's objections, the halfling was brought back-- a little the worse for wear. Unlike Halma, who had nothing but fond memories of his time in the afterlife, the halfling seemed none too eager to discuss his soul's journey. 

True to their word, on the morrow, they went to visit the Baron. Once again, the plan was to tunnel their way into his manor house, enter through the floor of a storeroom, then take their time finding the Baron-- and, hopefully, the Speaker in Dreams who had yet to reveal himself. 

The tunnelling didn't go as smoothly as before. They criss-crossed themselves so often that Wulf half-suspected they'd collapse the whole city on top of themselves. Finally, trusting to his instincts, Wulf advised Keldas to start tunnelling up. "Should be the store-room right there." 

In fact, they tunnelled up rather un-ceremoniously into the Baron's throne room-- and they were obviously waiting for them. 

The Baron stood proudly, flanked on either side by a burly warrior. Nearby was a beautiful young girl, not a day over sixteen, smiling coyly and re-arranging her hair under her red beret. Lurking in the back was a stooped figure in a cowl. Wulf's mind was racing a mile a minute. 

Wulf had also noticed that one of the Baron's guards had Halma's greatsword. Halma's father's greatsword. Halma's _treasured beyond all belief_ greatsword. The hilt was clearly visible, though, and Wulf knew that if Halma saw it, there'd be no stopping him. Wulf wanted very much to start this fight on his own terms, when he was ready. 

"Ahhh... We're here! Good morning!" He was desperate for a diversion, to keep Halma occupied, but he found himself unexpectedly blather-less. "Ummm...." 

The Baron smiled at them. "Very pleased to meet you, dwarf. You've caused me a lot of trouble, you know." He nodded to Keldas. "And you, too, wizard." 

He let his gaze fall on the halfling. "Good to see you again, Tomaloc." 

What? 

"I'm rather disappointed to note that, as of now, Shuma is still among the living. Have you decided against our bargain?" 

"WHAT!?" Wulf fixed the halfling square in his gaze. Halma, Keldas, and Alliane were standing around the hole, looking dumbfounded. 

"Oh, calm down. It's no big deal. I asked them if they could train me as an assassin, and they told me ok, but I had to kill Shuma, but I decided not to do it, so let's just move on, ok?" 

"YER CAME HERE WITHOUT TELLIN' US AND STARTED MAKIN' DEALS WITH THESE EVIL PRICKS?!" Wulf's hands were balled into fists of rage-- and yet, well away from his weapons. 

Still, the halfling backed up a step. He'd seen how fast the dwarf could draw a weapon. "Look, I decided against it, ok? So I don't see why you have to get all worked up over it." 

Wulf took a step towards the halfling, ready to throttle him. The Baron simply looked bemused-- until the last moment. Wulf suddenly turned, two socks full of pennies unrolling from his fists and slamming down onto Wulf's chosen target. 

Not the halfling. Not the Baron. Not the guards. 

Wulf knocked the living crap out of the beautiful sixteen year old girl. 

His two makeshift saps split wide open, sending pennies flying all over, but before the first coin had hit the ground he'd already drawn his hand-axe and given her a solid chop across the shoulder with that, too-- just for good measure. He dropped her like an ox. (Like a shapely, squeezable, sixteen-year-old ox!) 

"Halma! That bastard's got yer sword!" 

That had the desired effect. Everybody started grabbing for weapons, but Halma had already flown into a rage and rushed the guards. The Baron staggered back out of the way. 
Never one to be outdone, the halfling watched the young girl collapse then sought out his own apparently helpless foe. He cartwheeled his way through the combatants and stopped next to the stooped, cowled figure. He caught the old man completely off guard, and drove his daggers home to devastating effect. 

But the... thing... didn't drop. 

The stooped figure straightened up and dropped his cowl. Wulf looked into a tentacled visage he'd only heard tales of as a youth-- and none of them pleasant. Its bulbous eyes flashed with ire just before it unleashed a mind blast onto the tightly packed group. 

"Kill it! Kill it, kill it, kill it or we're all going to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee......." The mind blast washed over them and Wulf stood drooling. Halma was out, too. And Alliane. 

The halfling drank in the realization that he was facing a mind flayer, and looked more than half ready to dive back into the hole. The guards were already hacking at the two stunned warriors, and now that the mind flayer was ready for him, he didn't relish the thought of trying to take it down with his daggers. He hesitated... 

Keldas waded through the combat, trusting in the hulk's carapace to deflect any blows, and clawed at the illithid. With its attention now diverted, the halfling found the spine to strike once again, wounding it deeply. 

The illithid stepped away, activating some arcane power. Reality seemed to split in half, and Wulf gazed through a portal onto stars he'd never seen before-- and never hoped to see again. 

Just like that, the illithid was gone. 

Keldas and the halfling worked together to finish off the two guards. The Baron stood dumbfounded at the back of the room and was still standing there when Wulf regained his senses. 
The Baron dropped his sword and sat down heavily into his chair. "Wha-- where am I?" 

"Sit down an' shut up, yer bastard. I'll deal with yer in a second. But for now, let's see about lassie he---YAAAAAA!" Wulf had whisked the beret off the young girl's head, and when he did so, a tangle of snakes fell out from under it. The medusa's head was hacked off before most of the others had even come to the same realization. 

Keldas nodded. "Nice work. How did you know she was a medusa?" 

"Didn't! Figured she was just a sorceror or summat... Take somebody out quick, yer know? Establish my authority." Wulf wiped his blade off. "Got lucky, basically." 

Wulf picked up the Baron's sword and inspected the masterwork blade as he approached the throne. 

"First," he looked at the Baron. "We'll talk reward. And then," he tapped the blade in his hand... 

"We'll talk to _the halfling_."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE SPEAKER IN DREAMS (EPILOGUE)*

While Halma was busy prying his greatsword out of the death grip of the bodyguard, and Keldas was already scouting out the room with _Detect Magic_, the halfling tapped Wulf on the shoulder.

"I'd like that Hat, please."

"What hat?"

"The Hat of Disguise, the beret from the medusa. I can use that." He pointed to the beret, already stuffed under Wulf's belt.

"No. It's mine." _Yer get into enough trouble as it is, peck, we don't need yer running around in disguise on top of all that._

"Oh, you think you can just claim it, just like that?" The halfling was going red in the face. "No discussion?"

"Aye." Wulf loosened _Taranak_ in his belt and took a step towards the halfling. The halfling skipped back and held up his hands. 

"Ok, ok, whatever." He sulked off to fish through the pockets of the dead.

"It's here!" Keldas shouted from across the room. He'd recovered his _Ring of Wizardry_.

The Baron spoke up. "I guess we should talk about your reward..."

Keldas and the halfling began haggling with the Baron over "salvage rights." It was no small sum: Counting the crystals they'd recovered from the bookstore, and the magic weapons and armor from the Hextorians in the temple, it was nearly sixty-thousand gold crowns.

Keldas could barely contain his excitement. "I can finally afford to scribe all these scrolls I've been collecting!"

Halma spoke up. "Ahh... You... you can make father's sword better? With magic?"

"Yes! Yes, of course! Your armor, too!"

The halfling bounced up. "Ooh, I gotta make a list!"

Alliane weighed in. "With me to help Keldas, you can _all_ make a list. There's little we can't craft, together."

And just like that, the halfling's transgression was forgotten.

But not by Wulf. He was still keeping score-- and the game wasn't over yet.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE STANDING STONE*

Wulf caught up to the rest of the group just as they were heading into Ossington. They were travelling with two bedraggled farmers and the carcass of a dead plowhorse. Wulf raised an eyebrow and Keldas quickly tried to catch him up to speed on the goings on of the area. 

"We stopped by a druid grove on the way into town, where we received a bit more information of this part of the Baron's fiefdom, and their recent troubles. The druids had previously maintained communication with the wild elves in the area, but their emissaries had stopped coming early in the summer--without explanation. The druids considered this odd, but not particularly worthy of investigation.

"A more pressing problem for the druids, however, was the sudden lack of wildlife in the area. It was as if a circle had been drawn, with Ossington in the center, and nothing more well-developed than a mosquito remained in the area. The druids had been debating for the past several weeks what they might do about the situation, but expressed hope that, since we were heading that way anyway, perhaps we would investigate.

"We first sought out the wild elves, who had become unremittingly hostile to outsiders--especially humans--for some time. My presence, and especially that of Alliane, a priestess of Corellan, did much to allay their hostility, and they spoke with us of their troubles. In years past they had been accustomed to dealing with the townsfolk of Ossington, but the relations had become more and more strained with the disappearance of all the wildlife. The elves were starving, and grew hostile towards the town. The town leader, Dyson, set up a meeting with the elves to discuss a peaceful settlement."

Keldas droned on and on, and Wulf was very nearly asleep by this time.

"Apparently, at this meeting, the humans turned on the elves, slaughtered them, and began feasting on the fallen bodies."

Now he enjoyed Wulf's undivided attention.

"The wild elves are planning to wipe out the town. We've asked them to try to find a peaceful settlement, and they've agreed to give us two days to find a compromise."

Wulf noticed that Halma looked as if he'd been in a recent battle. "What's that all about?"

"Killed a ghost."

Keldas interrupted before Wulf could give voice to his surprise. "Ahh, yes. To add to the troubles, apparently the town is under siege by a ghostly horseman, who rides down and slays anyone who tries to leave the town. These two," he said, gesturing at the farmers, "were lucky that we happened to be passing by when the horseman attacked them."

"Why would yer leave town if yer knew there was a ghost about?"

"We have no choice. We have to look oustide for food."

"And that carcass?"

"The horseman killed it. We're taking it back home for food."

"Yer WHAT? Whoa whoa whoa there! Yer can't eat a HORSE!"

"Of course we can. Horse is good eatin." Halma nodded in agreement.

"Yer eat that horse, the gods'll curse yer. Yer don't eat 'friends to man!'"

Keldas took the farmers' side. "What does that even mean?"

"Horses an' dogs--gifts from the gods, an' pillars of civilization. Not for eatin'. Yer on the fast track to a good buggerin' from Fate herself. Trust me on this one."

The halfling decided to enter the fray. "I bet you'd eat me if you were starving though, huh?"

"I can't tell if yer tryin' to flatter yerself or insult me. I can barely stomach yer when yer up and among the quick, peck."

They had drawn near to the farmers' dwelling, just outside town, and they agreed to stay the night. Halma went off with the farmers to help butcher the horse, and it was with great trepidation that Wulf sat down to dinner with them later. He took a sniff of his stew, and the little cutlets of meat that floated in it. His eyes lit up and he looked over at Halma, who was already digging into it with gusto. Keldas, for all his talk, put on a brave face but obviously had no idea what he was eating. Wulf grinned and tucked into one of his favorite meals.

Rat stew. 

----------------------------

They left the farmers the next day and continued towards town. Just outside town they found a small shrine dedicated to all the primary gods of Greyhawk. Wulf stuck his head inside and was greeted by an oracle who tended the shrine. Wulf would have guessed her a druid, though her presence in such a shrine confused that assessment somewhat.

"Mornin, woman! May we enter?"

"Of course." She smiled sweetly. "All are welcome here." Wulf noticed for the first time the small monkey-like pet on her shoulder. It hopped off and ran circles around the room, stopping at various donation boxes.

The party moved inside, and while Keldas grilled the druid, Henwen, about the goings on of the area and the town, Wulf made the rounds of the donation boxes. He was thankful he'd kept some travelling money in his purse.

_Pelor!_ Wulf made the fist. _Like brothers still, right? Sun's up again today-- nice work. _Wulf dropped a few gold coins into Pelor's donation box. 

_Heironeous! Ahh... Keep an eye on me today, got a feelin' I'm gonna be valorously whippin' evil arse. For justice!_ A few more gold coins tinkled into the collection box.

_Kord! Oh mighty, mighty Kord! Right. Ach... ferkit... Here. _Wulf made another contribution, equal to the others, and moved on to the next shrine.

It seemed that all philosophies were present, from law to chaos, good to evil. Wulf contributed to each in turn-- growing a bit nervous when he reached Nerull, but taking a guilty pleasure in his contribution to Hextor. _Sorry about that business back in Brindinford. Pals?_ He made the fist, just in case. 

Keldas' conversation with Henwen hadn't netted them any information, save to repeat the townsfolk's charge that it was the wild elves, not they, who had started the fighting at their last meeting. As for the "eating of the dead" charge, that was preposterous.

They moved into town. Ossington had been built right into the center of a huge ring of standing stones. There were actually several concentric rings of stones, and one large stone in the center of town. The mayor's house abutted right up against this ancient, rune-covered stone. _Oh, that's wise,_ thought Wulf.

On their way into town they met a bard, who was standing and watching the townsfolk who were trying to harvest their crops. The wild elves, it seemed, had taken to firing pot-shots at the townsfolk who ventured out into the fields, so gathering the crops was risky business.

Keldas spoke to the bard, who informed them that he went by the name of The Cuckoo, and tried to find out more about the town. The Cuckoo repeated the same old story-- the elves were the aggressors, the townsfolk were starving, there was no eating of the dead.

"An' here I thought yer were supposed to be chock full o' rumors, knowledge, and useful information. So what is it yer doing here, exactly?" Wulf gestured to the fields.

"I'm watching over those men who are trying to gather some food."

"Right. Ahh... and if the elves attack, yer gonna... what? Sing them away? Pfft." Wulf couldn't hide his disdain for the bard. Worthless parasites! The day he caught some lazy bard making coin singing the praises of his bravery and hard work, there was going to be trouble.

The Cuckoo just smirked. "Are you going to stand here and insult me, or are you going to help these poor people?"

"Yer just watch yerself, bard. Yer at the top of my ass-kickin' list." Wulf pointed the others to the mayor's house. "Let's go talk to Dyson."

They were met at the door by Dyson's assistant, Tully. She was lithe and wiry, and Wulf could tell she knew her way around the weapon at her side.

"We need to talk to Dyson."

"Can't do that. He's busy now. Who are you?"

"Wulf Ratbane. The Baron sent us here to... solve problems."

Tully didn't blink. "Great. Go wipe out the wild elves."

Keldas stared back at her.

"Ok, I guess not. Well, then, you can do something to get rid of the horseman so our people can leave town to look for food."

"Aye, we can do that."

"Fine. There's a barrow mound a few miles from here. We know the horseman rides from there. Come back when you're done-- Dyson should be free to talk to you by then. Good luck."

----------------------------

The party took a quick trip to the nearby countryside, where they found the barrow without difficulty. Wulf was the first to enter the mound, scouting ahead quietly in the shadows. Off to the side he heard a noise, and turning, saw the two bright flames burning in a wight's skull. Before he could even warn the rest of the party he charged off down the hall, slamming his blazing battle-axe two-handed into the creature. His charged knocked it off guard and he hacked at it again before it had time to paw at him. The wight dropped dead-- truly dead-- at last.

Wulf turned to rejoin his companions, and realized for the first time that he was trapped at the end of the hall. In the tussle he'd neither seen nor heard the stone block sealing off his exit behind him. He was sealed in, completely trapped in a five-foot cube. It was only moments until Keldas, as an umber hulk once again, came smashing through the wall to save him, but Wulf couldn't help but be reminded how useful it was to have friends you could rely on. No doubt about it, if he'd been alone, he'd have died a slow, lingering death-- buried alive.

Wulf gestured to the halfling. "Come up front with me and help me look for traps. Get on out ahead of me; I'll be right behind yer."

Together they slowly moved through the maze-like tunnels of the barrow, following a simple "Always Turn Left" procedure so they wouldn't get lost. Sure enough, every thirty feet or so there would be another sliding wall trap-- the halfling would spot it, Wulf would concur, and move up to disable it. 

They were about halfway through the maze, moving down a long hall, when the halfling missed a trap. Wulf noticed it, but the halfling kept right on moving. In a split-second, several thoughts ran through Wulf's mind. _Oh, this should be good. Probably another sliding wall. But what if it's lightning, or something that will kill Keldas? Or a gas trap? Ach, ferkit. If it's a gas trap, I can take it. Huzzah! _

Wulf remained silent, and the halfling triggered the trap. 

Sure enough, a sliding wall slid across the passage. They could hear the halfling turn and start pounding on the stone, then they heard him start shrieking. _Whaddaya know? A wight? _Wulf shouted through the stone. "What's wrong? Yer need help? Knock like this if yer need help!" _Tap tappity tap tap._ "Like that! Hello?"

The halfling, of course, was too busy with the wight. The creature clawed at him twice, sucking the life force right out of him, but the halfling fought back. He doused the creature with greek fire, then tumbled around out of reach while the fire did its work. Eventually Wulf stepped aside in the narrow corridor to let Keldas tunnel past, but by then the halfing had taken care of the wight on his own.

Wulf clapped him on the back. "Well done!"

"Screw you! You deliberately let me set off that trap!"

Wulf blinked. "What are yer talking about? I didn't see it either!"

"Oh, please! Give me a break. So much for watching my back."

"Well if yer couldn't see it yerself," Wulf's voice was rising with anger, "then what in hell makes yer think _I_ could see it!?"

"Well you didn't have to stand around and F'in let me get mauled by an F'in wight! You didn't even try to help!"

"Yer too damned ferocious, peck. It was dead before we even had a chance. Let's move on, right? No sense cryin' over spilt milk."

"Well you can take point then." 

"Right yer are." Wulf moved off.

The halfling grimaced at Alliane. "I'm all drained to hell. Help me out here."

Alliane could only frown. "Such magic is beyond me. Perhaps it will pass. Perhaps tomorrow."

----------------------------

Much to the halfling's dismay, Wulf didn't miss a single trap, and let them expertly to the center of the maze. Steps led down to an arched chamber holding a sarcophagus. Wulf held up his hand to halt the party. Obvious trap.

"Don't like the looks of..."

"TURN BACK, MORTALS, OR MEET YOUR DOOM!"

"Ach, well, ok. Right. Ahh..." _Diplomacy._ "Ah! We're looking for the Horseman, actually... My comrades here killed him once already, and we just want to have a bit of a chat and see if we can avoid having to do that again... in a more permanent fashion."

"TURN BACK!"

Wulf was losing patience. Booming, disembodied voices were awfully hard to put the boot to. He turned to the rest of the group for advice, and found Keldas pointing discreetly at the wall beside him. _Aha! Secret door, right?_ Wulf moved next to Keldas, gestured for the party to make ready, and threw wide the secret door.

The figure standing behind it was obviously the owner of the voice, and as pleased as Wulf was to find a physical body prime for a valorous and judicious dismemberment, something stayed his hand. For starters, the creature was obviously undead-- little left but the armored shell of a warrior long dead. Ordinarily Wulf wouldn't hesitate to hack such a creature to bits, but it was the fact that the creature bothered _to hide itself behind a secret door and throw its voice in order to scare off intruders_-- well, to put it simply, he found it oddly endearing. He turned to the rest of the group.

"Ach, I don't want to hack up this old geezer." He spoke loudly and plainly, to clearly announce his intent. The essence of diplomacy, he'd learned, was complete honesty. "Well, we were sent down here to kill yer. Understand from the folks in town, yer behind the horseman, an' we just want that to stop."

The figure spoke. "You'd find me a formidable opponent, dwarf-- though such a contest would be for naught. I am not the horseman, nor do I know what is behind the phenomenon."

"Well, beggin' yer pardon, but yer still a creepy old undead bastard. So... ahh... who are yer, then?"

"I am Saithnar. Many years ago, when I walked among the living, I was a protector of this town. Now, in this eternal state, I protect it still."

"So yer not the horseman?"

"No."

"And yer don't know who is?"

"No."

"Then why would Tully send us here to destroy yer?"

"Perhaps she sent you here that I might destroy YOU."

Little by little Saithnar was earning Wulf's respect. He turned to Alliane. "Not all undead are evil, right?"

Alliane shrugged. "It seems odd to justify it so, but if he protects the town..." 

It was good enough for Wulf. "Right. Right, then, Saithnar. Yer off the hook. We'll go back to town, tell Tully we killed yer, see what shakes out. Might be back later. Might have to kill yer. No offense." Wulf turned to go.

"Leave with my blessing, then. My men will not hinder you on the way out."

The halfling winced at the memory of the wight's cold touch. "Yeah, bit late now-- thanks for nothing."

----------------------------

The returned to the inn that night, and sat down in the common room to discuss matters and have a drink or two. Wulf was already in a foul mood. Once again, he didn't have a clue what to do next, and he hated it. Oh, he knew somebody was ripe for an ass-kicking, but who? They were acutely aware that they'd lost a day already. By the end of the next day, barring their intervention, the wood elves would come to slaughter the town. Wulf didn't know who to believe, but strangely enough he found himself siding with the wood elves.

"Ach, Keldas, I know I give yer guff all the time, but I've never known yer people to be liars. I'm inclined to trust the elves on this one. Summat up here in town-- just don't know what." Wulf tugged at his beard. It was a difficult problem. "I say we start by kickin' the tar out o' the Cuckoo."

"I sincerely doubt that will solve the town's problems."

The halfling got up from the table. "I'm tired, I'm heading to bed."

Alliane stood as well. "Keldas and I need our sleep, so who's taking the first watch?"

The halfling spoke up. "What do we need a watch for? We're safe here. And I don't feel like sleeping on the floor, either, while the elves get their beauty rest. I'm getting a second room."

"I don't know how yer do it, peck... This town is crawlin' with evil, I can feel it. We should stick together. Get yer own room if yer like, but don't expect me to come runnin' if I hear trouble on my watch."

The halfling shrugged. "Fine, fine, whatever."

They settled down to sleep. Wulf and Halma split two long shifts between them, both expecting treachery, but the night passed peacefully. 

----------------------------

They went the next day to visit Dyson. When Tully came to greet them at the door, Wulf tried to guage her reaction at their presence; but if she was surprised or disappointed to see them return "victorious," she gave no indication of it. 

"Right. We killed yer horseman. Let's have that chat with Dyson now."

Tully sighed and stepped aside, gesturing them in. "Very well."

They climbed the winding stairs to Dyson's study at the top of his tower, and finally met the man who had assumed the burden of leadership for the beleaguered town. Dyson was dark haired, goateed, with a ruddy complexion A look passed among the party members. _All he's missing is the cloven hooves and a forked tail..._

After introductions Dyson got right to the point. "The wild elves are lying. They turned on us for no reason, killing our townspeople. If you don't ally with us against them, they'll wipe out the town for sure."

Keldas took charge. "We have spoken with the elves, and they have given us until tomorrow to arrange a peaceful settlement. It would help if you would come with us and meet with their leaders. Surely we can negotiate peace."

Dyson shook his head. "I'm sure they'd love nothing better than to get their hands on me." Tully nodded in agreement. 

"Nobody will touch yer with us around. Count on that."

Tully clucked and Dyson spoke up. "Unfortunately I don't share your confidence-- and apparently neither does my protector."

Wulf raised an eyebrow. "What-- her? A woman?"

"Tully is a talented strategist, an excellent swordsman, and a dangerous foe. I find that women make fine bodyguards."

Wulf scoffed and tugged at his beard. "Aye, but they make better scullery maids."

Tully ignored the insult. "Will you help us or not?"

"Send Tully with us as your representative, to speak with the elves," said Keldas.

"Very well. Let's go."

----------------------------

As they walked, Halma matched stride with Tully and spoke amiably with her, while the rest of the group fell a few paces behind. Wulf spoke quietly with Keldas as the halfling trotted beside them.

"Keldas, I don't see how yer folks can be lyin'. An' I don't like the looks of that Dyson fellow. Let's just pick a side, strike now."

The halfling squeaked out a protest. "No! We can't double cross them. It's a bad idea."

"Why?"

"Just trust me, we don't want to do that. Besides, it's not right."

"Don't know about right, but it's damned well smart. Going to cross blades with Dyson eventually, let's take Tully now and save us the trouble later."

"No! Swear to me you won't harm her!"

"Why?"

"I... I can't tell you. Let's just say things aren't always what they appear."

"Such as?"

"Well, like this..." The halfling donned a magic hat and was suddenly cloaked in an illusion-- he looked just like Wulf.

Wulf check his own magic hat-- still there. The halfling had gone to the trouble of buying his own. Wulf was not happy-- moreso because he didn't like the thought of the peck assuming his identity and getting into trouble.

"Yer keep that up, yer gonna end up like Dyson and Tully."

"Look. Just this once, just once, trust me. Swear you won't kill her."

Wulf indulged the halfling, but his grin belied his intentions. "All right, I swear."

The haflling knew it was the best he could hope for-- but betting on Wulf's conscience didn't ease his worries any.

After a long walk out to meet the wild elves, the meeting was woefully short. As expected, both sides accused the other of lying. No peace was reached, and from the party's standpoint, no new evidence was revealed. They were simply going to have to pick a side. They elves still planned to attack the next day.

As they headed home, Wulf, Keldas, and the halfling fell behind again. Wulf spoke up. "We got no choice, peck. Let's just knock her out, get her out of the way until we can deal with Dyson."

The halfling looked ready to dive into the nearest rabbit hole, but he knew the truth of the matter as well. "All right. All right, I'm with you. I'll strike when you do." He trotted up to join the others and get into position.

Wulf looked to Keldas. "Give me what yer got."

In short order Wulf was Hasted, with Improved Invisibility on top of that. He grabbed hold of his sock-penny saps and cruised up silently behind Tully, smashing her solidly. He expected her to drop as easily as the last slip of a girl he'd laid into. Oh, were they all in for a surprise.

Though he'd crept up as silently as possible, she was somehow warned at the last moment, twisting aside from Wulf's treacherous blows. Her sword was out in an instant, and she snarled at the halfling. "You're a dead man, Tamaloc!" She ran her sword through his shoulder to punctuate her remark. The halfling struck back with deadly precision, abandoning their plans of taking her alive.

But Tully wasn't waiting around to cross swords with the halfling, or Wulf. She tumbled away-- and vanished. 

"What the-- ?"

"I got her..." Halma was running low to the ground, following her trail. He dashed off into the trees. Wulf and Alliane did their best to catch up. Before long Keldas, having cast a Fly spell on himself, sailed off after Halma.

And then came the halfling. He spoke a command word, and a huge pair of bat wings sprouted from his back. He flew off in hot pursuit as well. Was there no end to his new bag of tricks?

Every time Halma tracked Tully down, she would dash out, sneak attack him, and disappear into thin air again. Wulf had never seen anything like it. What the hell was she?

The halfling was screaming. "You better kill her or we're all going to die! Probably going to die anyway!"

Halma did his best, swinging wildly into the bushes, and occasionally striking true. Tully was certainly capable of taking a lot of punishment.

"Enough of this! Time for you to die!" Dyson's voice boomed out into the forest and a cloud of darkness fell over Halma, Wulf, and Alliane, who had surrounded Tully. Wulf quickly backpedaled out of the darkness and saw Dyson, the Cuckoo, and Henwen, lined up in attack formation. They were all casting spells. Those backstabbing pr*cks! They ambushed us!

Henwen's little monkey familiar started screeching, a high-pitched wail that grew louder and louder, threatening to overwhelm Wulf's senses. He wasn't sure what effect it would have had on him, for he somehow managed to shake it off. One thing was for certain-- he knew he didn't like it.

"Right. That's about enough of that." Wulf ignited Taranak and charged up to the demon-monkey, cutting it down in a single blow. Henwen cried out in pain, and though Wulf stood nearby, she could not see him to retaliate.

Tully took advantage of her friends' timely arrival, striking out at the halfling. Even with his supernatural reflexes he was no match for her. Another swift sword stroke pierced him through, wounding him terribly. The halfling leapt into the sky while Halma swung around in the darkness, trying to defend himself.

Wulf took a deep breath, drew his hand-axe, and stepped up between Henwen and Dyson-- still invisible, still moving with supernatural haste. His hand-axe rose and fell two times on Henwen, striking where she could not see to defend herself, staggering her; and one swift, final stroke from Taranak put her down. Wulf never stopped moving, whirling the flaming axe around and into Dyson.

Taranak struck Dyson with incredible force, straight down the center of his forehead, exploding into flame as it did so. Wulf had rarely seen the full volcanic force of the axe, but it blasted Dyson's skull (and a good portion of the rest of him) into tiny smoking chunks-- in a single blow.

Wulf had dropped two of their foes in less than six seconds. Keep moving while it lasts!

The Cuckoo suddenly let out an ear-splitting shriek that ripped the fabric of reality. A hazy form materialized in the air before them, a hideous vulture-like demon. "A little help, brother," spoke the Cuckoo, as he assumed his own true demonic form.

The only thing better than kicking a bard's ass is kicking a demonic bard's ass, thought Wulf. This just keeps getting better.

Wulf charged over to the Cuckoo and hacked away with Taranak, but the demon hardly seemed to notice. This could be more trouble than I thought...

Fortunately, Keldas retained his composure. He casually pulled a scroll from his pack, unfurled it, and began to unleash a spell. Completing the incantation, he pointed his finger at the newly summoned Vrock and simply Dismissed it back to the Abyss. If the creature was capable of resisting such magic, it didn't choose this particular time and place to do so. The Cuckoo was on his own again.

Wulf switched strategies, changed his footing and began fighting sinister so that he could lead with his hand-axe. Striking with blinding speed from the cover of invisibility, he dismembered the demon in a few quick strokes.

And not a moment too soon, as the Haste spell drained from his limbs.

Suddenly there was a piercing cry from the edge of the darkness. Tully had emerged and turned on Alliane, striking her clean through the heart, killing her instantly. Halma had been biding his time, and struck her down with his greatsword, but it was too late for Alliane.

Tully had fallen, but a great deal of the wounds she'd sustained were from Wulf's saps. She was still breathing shallowly. Wulf shouted over to Halma, "Tie her up! Quickly!"

"No!" shouted the halfling. "Kill her! She's a ninja!"

Wulf had been invisibly looting Henwen and Dyson, quickly pulling rings from their fingers and stuffing them in his pockets, but he slowly turned, his mind now at full attention to the halfling.

"How do you know this?" Keldas hovered nearby, also curious.

"She was going to train me."

Halma still wasn't quite sure what was going on. "Rope or sword?"

"Sword!" shouted the halfling. "No wait! Rope... Yeah... Rope! Maybe I can talk my way out of this!"

"Out of what, peck?"

"Well, she passed my name on to her superiors, and said if anything happened to her, they would come looking for me. So you guys may have to fight off some ninja assassins with me."

Once again, Wulf was filled with the urgent need to kill the halfling. He was glad he was invisible, for he was literally shaking with rage. And, perhaps, a bit of anticipation. 

But he calmly let the moment pass.

"Well, let's get Tully back to Dyson's tower, right? I'll carry her, just in case she wakes up. Halma, yer can grab Alliane. And somebody should get the head off that demon so we can show the townspeople."

----------------------------

By the time they reached town, Wulf was visible again, and the people fell back trembling from his angry countenance as he marched into town with Tully draped over his shoulder.

They climbed the stairs to the top of the tower, to Dyson's cramped study. He dumped Tully on the floor. 

"Well... here we are. Guess we better wake her up and ask a few questions. I'm not taking any chances though, I'm going to have a potion first." Wulf dug in his pack for a potion.

It was a Ghouls' Touch potion he'd picked up somewhere. He finally found a use for it.

The halfling took the bait. "Got one for me?"

"Sure." Wulf drank his potion and advanced to the halfling with another potion in his other hand. Water Breathing, perhaps, or something equally useless.

As the halfling reached for the potion, Wulf grabbed his wrist. His eyes widened in shock and surprise. "Hey, what are you... Ow...." The ghoul's touch flooded up his arm, threatening to paralyze him. 

The halfling fought off the effects and skipped back a step. Wulf advanced. "Wulf, what are you doing?"

"I'm knockin' yer out so we can figure out why yer betrayed us... again."

"What are you talking about?"

"Yer went behind our backs AGAIN, peck, cuttin' deals with the forces of evil."

"I did it for the good of the party! I was trying to make myself useful for you guys!"

"By turning assassin? By studying with evil ninja mercenaries?"

Wulf tried to grapple the halfling, but he wriggled free.

"What, just because Wulf doesn't like me, I'm not allowed to broaden my horizons?"

"I warned yer before." Wulf tried to tackle the halfling again.

"This is silly, I'm just going to fly away."

Wulf laughed. The halfing spoke the command word and his Wings of Flying unfurled to their full twenty-foot wingspan. Or rather, they attempted to: There simply wasn't room for such a large wingspan to fly in the top of Dyson's cramped tower.

"That'll teach yer to buy out o' the bargain bin. Next time invest yer money in a nice pair o' winged boots, jackass."

Wulf opened his hands and his saps unrolled. He started pounding away at the halfling, who tumbled away, trying to defend himself. Halma watched from the top of the stairs. Keldas watched from near the window.

"Fine! I'm not even going to resist, then." The halfling stood still.

Wulf knocked his lights out.

----------------------------

"Think back. How many times has he stood around watchin' us get pounded on? Watching us die? What about Kellick? And now we've lost Alliane. Yer have to ask yerself-- whose side is he on, anyway?"

Keldas and Halma were unsure. "It doesn't seem right..."

"Yer know, the most dangerous evil is the kind that's right there next to yer. The one yer trust. The one yer travel with. But yer can't go soft now. We should kill him."

Halma disagreed. "No! Take all his things, set him free..."

"So he can come back for vengeance later? I don't think so."

"Then give him to Tully-- for justice."

"So they can train him as a ninja and then he can come back for vengeance? Yeah, we need a pissed-off halfling ninja pr*ck dogging our heels. This is ridiculous. Yer had no trouble killin' Dyson, what's the difference? Evil is evil."

"Maybe he's not evil."

"Well, all the priests within a hundred miles of here are now dead. Awfully convenient if yer ask me. Trust yer instincts, boy, and if yer can't trust them, trust me. He's evil."

Halma turned to go downstairs. "I need some air."

Keldas spoke up. "Let's wake Tully, get her side of the story."

She was still tightly bound, so Wulf brought her around. 

"What's yer relationship with the peck?"

"He came to Dyson and I last night..."

"Ach! No wonder he wanted his own room! The little weasel..."

"And I offered to take him in and train him."

"An' what was his part of the bargain?"

"He agreed not to interfere with Dyson's plans at all."

This caught Keldas' interest. "And those plans?"

"Dyson has been turning the animals in the area into humans..."

"He WAS..."

"... in order to raise an army so that he could take control over the whole countryside here."

Keldas blanched. "Well..."

Wulf gave him time to work through it.

"It seems pretty clear to me-- notwithstanding his other transgressions-- that if he agreed not to interfere with Dyson's plans, he was directly aiding an evil enterprise... and..."

"All right, yer talked me into it."

Wulf drew his axe and, in one smooth motion, hacked the halfling's head off. 

Taranak exploded into flame again, as if taking pleasure in a deed long overdue.

Halma came running into the room at the sound of the flame burst. "What!? What did you do?"

"We decided what had to be done." _What are yer worried about? Yer left the room-- clear conscience, boy. Did yer do it on purpose, I wonder?_

Keldas pointed to Tully. "What about her?"

Wulf spoke first. "I say we let her go. Send her home, no hard feelin's."

Halma shook his head. "If Tamaloc deserved to die, so does she."

"Right." Wulf lopped Tully's head off.

They all sat quietly for a long time. Halma was the first to speak.

"I don't know if I want to travel with you guys anymore."


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## Wulf Ratbane

*THE STANDING STONE-- feedback?*

The horror! The outrage! Read all about it!

I've preserved all the comments from this original thread on my website:

http://www.batreps.com/images/3e/wulf.htm


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## Wulf Ratbane

*THE WICKED AND THE WEARY*

The Wicked and the Weary details the second half of our adventuring careers. 

It picks up where the last story ended, having seen the characters through the stock WOTC modules from Sunless Citadel to Standing Stone, and now continuing on with The Heart of Nightfang Spire. 

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Wulf Ratbane-- dwarf Ftr6/Rog3/Devoted Defender 1

Halma-- human Bbn9/Drd1

Keldas Ilnion-- elf transmuter Wiz9

Alliane Ilnion-- elf Clr7 (cohort)

Dorn-- dwarf Clr9 (Haela Brightaxe)

Korak-- aasimar Pal9

Grr-- black bear cub (animal companion)


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Part I)*

_Let darkness and the shadow of death stain it;
         let a cloud dwell upon it; 
let the blackness of the day terrify it. _

For the first time in a long time, and the last time for a long time, Wulf slept easy.

Wulf, Halma, Keldas, and Alliane had returned to the Forge of Fury, and the halfling-- well, the halfing's black soul no doubt shared the same fate as Dyson, Tully, and the Cuckoo. The Old Man had welcomed them back, and the halfling's fate was quickly and almost casually swept aside. Such validation from Moradin's mortal representative was a welcome-- if unnecessary-- compliment to Wulf's growing wisdom and leadership.

Wulf was even more pleased to find his generous contribution well spent. The Old Man had recruited scores of dwarves back to the forges-- warriors and smiths alike. Even Keldas was happy to throw himself into the revitalization of the Forge, taking on several dwarven wizards as apprentices. Keldas' skill with magic combined with the expertise of even the fledling artificers boosted their armaments considerably. Wulf and Halma's chain shirts, and most especially Halma's greatsword, were re-forged to several times their previous strength and sharpness. 

Most pleasing of all, they split up the peck's goods with nary a word of protest. Wulf laid claim to his little magic daggers, Keldas took his _Ring of Dexterity_, and they passed around his _Wings of Flying_ like a drunken cousin at a halfling wedding.

Thus it was with some disappointment that Wulf woke at last from that peaceful sleep onto a grey and dreary winter day of ill portent: The Old Man had summoned them for a new "quest."

Both incoming and outgoing trade had been disrupted recently by attacks, and he wanted Wulf to put a stop to it. _So far, so good._ Unfortunately, word had gotten back that the perpetrator was a white dragon named Calcryx; one glance at Keldas' guilty face and Wulf correctly surmised that Calcryx was the hatchling they'd unleashed beneath the Sunless Citadel, before they'd rescued him from the goblins. 

The thought of tangling with another dragon-- aye, even a white, even a hatchling, at that-- didn't sit well with Wulf, and things didn't get any better when the Old Man introduced their new traveling companions: Dorn Ironshield, a dwarven priest whose double-handed _holy_ great-axe belied his name; and Karak, a golden-haired, violet-eyed outsider-- an aasimar, and a paladin, to boot. 

_A priest and a paladin. _

Moradin's judgement had come down at last. 

-------------------------

They set off in the direction of the last attack. Wulf and Halma traded turns with the peck's _Wings of Flying_, scouting ahead. Eventually, as the trees fell away and the winter landscape took hold, they spotted a deep canyon, with a single towering black spire jutting up in the center.

"All she's missin' is a sign that says, "Evil: This Way."

The tower's location in the center of the valley, in such a position that the sunlight rarely, if ever, fell across her battlements, should have been a warning to them. 

Alas, they didn't turn back.

The tower seemed empty, but Wulf volunteered to scout ahead while the party stood close at hand. The tower was huge, at least 140 feet tall and 60 feet across the base. Still, Wulf could find no doors or windows; there was, however, a small vine covered shack attached to the side of the tower. There was a door inside, perhaps. Still cautious, Wulf pulled his _shadow cloak_ tighter and crept up to the shack, so stealthily, so silently...

As he approached the cracked and rotten door, Wulf strained his ears. He heard... music. Faint, but nevertheless there it was. Faint music emanating from a shack jutting from the base of a creepy tower in the middle of a desolate valley in the midst of winter could only mean one thing to Wulf: there was a grand struggle of Will in his near future.

Did he falter? No!

Did he retreat? No!

Did he beckon his companions to come closer and back him up? Hell no!

He opened the door, took one superbly stealthy step inside, and, like clockwork, promptly failed that struggle of will. He just had time to cry out before he unstealthily fell asleep and dropped like a sack onto the floor of the shack.

He could drink the contents of a mummy's chamber pot and not feel ill. He could dodge the strike of an angry serpent with nary a scratch. But give the man a test of will and the best he could do was yell out, "Ach, lads, I'm f-----" and hope they arrived in time to bail him out.

As they did, of course. Halma, with his natural speed enhanced by his boots, was the first on the scene-- though the best he could do was to fall asleep across Wulf's already prone form. A creature dropped stealthily from the shadows on the ceiling and began to slowly feast on the life-force of the two warriors. 

Keldas was the next to arrive, though when he spotted the creature crouched over his comrades, he realized there was little he could do against vampire spawn. The creature stood and pointed at Keldas, saying, "I remember you..." 

Unfortunately, no more information was forthcoming. Dorn and Karak burst onto the scene, and between Dorn's holy axe and Karak's eagerness to smite all things evil, the creature was soon dispersed into a cloud of mist. They watched as it seeped through a crack into the tower. 

There was another victim in the shack, and a recent one at that. Never ones to waste time on the dead, they pried the bastard sword from its grip and moved on.

-------------------------

They decided next to assault the tower from the top. 

"Aye, go to the top, an' just work our way down. Get 'em all that way."

Halma grabbed Dorn and flew to the top of the tower. A pair of wings sprouted from Karak's back and Wulf was not so much surprised to see wings on the aasimar as to recognize that they were not real-- just another pair of _Wings of Flying_. 

Wulf took one look at the cumbersome twenty-foot wingspan and chuckled, remembering the halfling. "Nice wings, ass-mar. Why do these idiots keep investing in bargain-basement goods?"

Wulf and Alliane waited at the base of the tower with Keldas, who cast _Spider Climb_ on Halma's little bear cub. Cute. Wulf watched the little ball of fur climbing happily up the side of the tower when the dragon struck.

Calcryx came out of nowhere, breathing at the group at the base of the tower. Wulf dodged the blast of cold with ease and hoped that Keldas and Alliane fared as well. _Taranak_ leapt to his hand and he spoke the words to set it ablaze, taking up a wide stance in front of Keldas. 

"Come on, then!"

Wulf heard Keldas and his cousin casting spells behind him, and the cool, calm touch of elven hands on his shoulders. He could _Fly._ And Alliane had cast _Resist Elements_.

"You're all set. Go get him, Wulf."

Wulf gripped his battle axe in both hands and flew straight into the dragon, cutting a deep gash across its belly. It was only when Calcryx hovered back in the air, bringing all four claws up in defense, that Wulf realized he'd made a tactical error. He'd have been far better off to let the dragon come to him, into two axes instead of one; when he was ready for a full attack instead of a single stroke.

Unfortunately there was no time for retreat. Wulf heard a tremendous thunderclap and felt the electricity in the air. _Something_ had called down a blast directly onto the top of the tower, completely enveloping Halma, Dorn, and Karak. The creature-- a huge monster that seemed all brain, beak, and tentacle, like a huge grell, only worse-- slowly levitated up from just inside the crumbled top of the tower. Its tentacles lashed out, enveloping Halma and Karak and lifting them even higher into the air. Dorn, the only one of the three who could not fly, thanked Haela Brightaxe for his luck and started casting. 

_Flame Strike_.

Halma and Karak struggled to break free.

Another _Flame Strike_.

Wulf could hardly believe his eyes. He'd never seen destructive power like that-- at least, never from anything other than the receiving end. This priest was no pasty elven wizard! Here was a power to be reckoned with!

*Another Flame Strike!*

Karak managed to twist free, but Halma disappeared as he fell with the crumpled monster onto the tower below. 

Wulf knew his friend would be all right, and he didn't have time to worry about him anyway. Calcryx's claws scraped against his newly forged chain shirt, and though most of the damage was deflected, Wulf felt a claw scrape against him. The chill that sapped his bones wasn't simply cold-- it was the bitter cold of undeath. 

Calcryx was vampire spawn.

"Ach, right, that's about enough o' that, then."

Wulf drew his hand axe and unleashed a flurry of blows into the dragon's hide. It was mere seconds until the dragon was dispersed into a cloud of mist that floated back to the tower. 

The party quickly ascended the tower in pursuit. The cloud coalesced under the lee edge of the tower, in a spot that Wulf reckoned would be hidden in shadow at all times. Halma slashed his greatsword into the beast's body over and over, but each time, the wounds closed immediately. 

Wulf looked around for anyone who knew how to finish off a vampire.

_Permanently. _


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Part II)*

_Lo, let that night be solitary;
         let no joyful voice come therein. 
Let them curse it that curse the day,
         who are ready to raise up their mourning.  _

Slowly the realization set in that, should one of them even have an _inkling_ as to the proper gear to dispense of vampires, they were nevertheless unequipped for the task. Wulf checked his pack. No wooden stakes. He had a couple of vials of holy water, though for the life of him he couldn't remember when, where, or why he'd have laden his pack with such useless tackle.

Though, at the moment, he thanked the gods for it. Holy water was _definitely_ involved somehow.

Wulf cast his gaze across the bleak landscape, looking for anything that might serve as a stake large enough to drive through the heart of a dragon. Nothing but frozen prairie as far as he could see. "We need a stake..." he muttered.

Dorn, the priest, spoke up. "I have... uhh... I have these torches."

Wulf blinked in amazement. "Yer carryin' torches?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Cause yer a dwarf, and yer can see in the dark?"

Dorn was getting indignant. "It's standard adventuring gear. Everyone carries torches. What if you have to light a fire, hmm? What if your allies can't see? I believe in being helpful and prepared."

Wulf waved his hand. "Fine, fine. Yer prepared." Wulf looked down through the hole in the roof, into the dark recesses of the tower. Two vampire spawn dispatched already, and countless more inside. "Praise Moradin, yer prepared. How many yer got?"

"Ahh... three."

Wulf snatched a torch from Dorn and pounded through the dragon's heart. "That should do it."

Nothing happened.

Wulf emptied a vial of holy water onto the corpse and grinned. "Right. Forgot that part."

Still nothing happened.

"Try this again." Halma stepped up and cut the head off the dragon. It worked. Wulf picked up the head, tucked it into a bag, and tied it over his shoulder. "Just in case."

They all stood silently staring at the hole leading into the tower. Eventually, Halma shrugged and leapt into the hole. Wulf was not far behind. They beckoned their allies to join them and the party spread out into the gloom. Wulf noted that a healthy sense of paranoia had descended on the group, and he himself was not at all surprised when a half-dozen vampire spawn came shrieking out of the darkness to repel them. Unfortunately for the group, he'd not had a chance to organize them into their usual fighting wedge, and Alliane was quickly cut off and surrounded. Wulf sidled up to Keldas and cautioned Halma to stick close as well. Wulf was doubly concerned with the new priest and the paladin-- he didn't quite know what to make of them, yet.

Expecting the priest to call feebly upon the gods for protection, he was instead amazed to see Dorn wade forward with his immense axe, its edge gleaming with a holy light that made short work of the vampires facing him, blasting them into a fading mist. And it was the aasimar who sheathed his weapon and called up his celestial might, causing the surviving two vampires to turn to mist and slink away.

Wulf led the way into the next room, where they found six empty sarcophagi. Wulf sprinkled each coffin with holy water. "I think that'll keep em from comin' back. Seems right, anyhow."

Alliane and Dorn had each been drained by the sudden ambush, yet the group wanted to continue on.

"Are yer out of yer bleedin' minds? Six vampires in the _first room_ and yer want to go looking for more?" Wulf himself was still drained from his encounter in the shed below. "Hell no. Mystery of the caravans: solved. Time to go back to the Forge."

Halma shrugged. "The Old Man is just going to send us right back."

Dorn spoke up next. "We can't just leave a pit of stinkin' eeeevil laying about."

"Yer just watch me. There's plenty more evil in the world I can stick a boot to, without muckin' about with vampires."

In the end, the best Wulf could do was to persuade them to retreat for the night. They fled as quickly as their wings could carry them, across the blighted landscape for several miles, until at last they came to the edge of a wood. Wulf immediately started chopping up saplings to make wooden stakes.

Halma was scanning the sky. "Winter time. We have at least 12 hours of night. Maybe more."

Wulf looked over at Keldas. "Well, that certainly puts a damper on yer _Rope Trick_. What yer good for, maybe nine hours?"

"About that, yes. We'll just have to spend some time camped out, the old fashioned way."

Wulf sighed. "We're screwed."

------------------------

Sure enough, it was on Wulf's watch, while they were all outside, that a trio of vampires came for them.

Wulf was becoming more observant-- or at least, more gainfully paranoid-- and he easily spotted the vampires. He stepped up to meet them, rousing his comrades with a simple cry of "VAMPIRES!" _Taranak_ was ready and blazing in his hand, before they had even coalesced from mist into their human form. He eagerly swung his axe and hand axe in short quick strokes. "Taste... a little... of this!"

But the vampires were not alone. A dozen glowing red eyes appeared in the woods, and hungry wolves descended on the rear of the party. As they emerged from the woods, it seemed that the wood itself came alive and moved with them. Dozens upon dozens of twig blights came clacking and creaking out of the woods as well. Keldas, Alliane, and Dorn were surrounded.

Halma leapt up and charged to Dorn's defense, though the sturdy dwarf hardly seemed to need it. His most devastating spells were already cast, or forgotten as a result of the vampires' draining touch, but his great-axe was always ready. Unfortunately, though his axe easily cleft through the twig-blights, it was slow and seemingly endless work, even with Halma nearby cleaving through them in great numbers. 

Wulf was too busy with the vampires to worry about the others. "Give me a hand here, ass-mar!" The paladin jumped up to help Wulf, his holy symbol at the ready.

"Not that," Wulf grunted. "Just hack 'em, the pricks..." Another vampire turned to mist as the paladin caught the drift and drew his glowing longsword, eagerly joining the fight.

The wolves had dragged Alliane to the ground and were threatening to finish her off. In a rare moment of aptitude, Keldas fended off the wolves around him, casting defensively, and conjured forth a blistering belch of acid that covered nearly all the wolves and twigs-- and neatly missed every last one of his own allies. Wulf and the paladin finished off the vampires just as the stench of bubbling wolf-and-twig goo wafted in their direction. Wulf turned in time to see Alliane regain her feet, defiantly pull out her mace, and crush the life out of the last surviving wolves.

"Good to see yer finally learned some useful tricks, elf."

Keldas ignored him, watching the vampires' misty forms float away towards the tower. "We're still not making any progress."

Wulf grinned. "Aye, but it can't be any fun gettin' yer ass blasted into a fine mist ever' night. They'll get the hint."

Wulf was still feeling confident when they returned to the tower the next day, fully rested and restored.

It wouldn't last long.


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## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Part III)*

_Why died I not from the womb?
         Why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly? 
For now should I have lain still and been quiet,
         I should have slept: then had I been at rest._

Wulf was feeling confident. He'd overseen the daily prayers and advised both Dorn and Alliane to keep a strong supply of _Restoration_ and _Protection_ spells of all kinds. Kheldas had apparently learned a few spells of fighting usefulness, and for the most part Wulf trusted the elf to himself as far as his own arcane preparations went. Better still, Keldas had identified the bastard sword they'd found on the dead body in the shack below: _Ghost Touch_.

Wulf handed the blade to the paladin. "Take this sword, ass-mar. Yer see any vampires going misty, take a couple of whacks at 'em with this." The paladin nodded, taking up the bastard sword and making room for it on his belt, beside his own trusty longsword.

They returned to the top of the tower and once again looked down into the darkness below. Wulf stopped Halma just as he was about to jump through the hole. "Hang on... Let me take a look."

Sure enough, Wulf's trained eyes could faintly see the runes of a _Glyph_ protecting the entrance. His comrades stood impatiently behind him, waiting for him to disarm the glyph, but it quickly became apparent to Wulf that the magical glyph was beyond his skill. 

"Safe yet?" Halma had his greatsword in his hands and was eager to jump into the hole and hew into some evil-doers.

"Ahh... Just a second." Wulf stood up and backed away from the hole. He stared at it for a moment. There was only one way he knew _for sure_ to make the way safe for the rest of them. With a shrug, he bolted towards the hole, tucked himself into a tumble that would make the peck proud, and just flopped right through the glyph. He felt a crackle of electricity as he went through, but escaped any serious harm.

He dusted himself off and called up through the hole. "All clear!"

The party joined him and they began to systematically clear out the rest of the the tower. Each time they reached a new door, Wulf would check it for traps, they'd all have a listen (though they quickly tired of straining for the sounds of the restless dead), and Halma would boot the door. Each intersection was handled in similar logical fashion. "Lefts... all lefts," Keldas decided. They found themselves working their way around the rooms of the tower, from the center to the outside wall, in an orderly clockwise direction. 

The stairs to the next level down, of course, were in the last place they looked. They all felt a happy elation at having cleared the first level of the tower, but were nonetheless concerned that they couldn't find any additional sarcophagi where the two escaped vampires might have headed. "Must be downstairs then."

They headed down to the next level, which they found to be largely unoccupied and sparsely arranged. In a long room that occupied most of the outer wall, they found their first interesting and unfathomable obstacle: a large pool of oozing black liquid. From time to time, small bubbles of what they surmised to be pure, unconcentrated evil bubbled up to the surface.

"What's that?"

Halma quietly whispered his profound assessment: "It's... it's his _mojo_, baby."

It certainly didn't look like anything they could simply _attack_. Wulf turned to the group. "Well, I'm stumped. Ideas?"

Only the paladin spoke up. "I suppose I could use the _Bless Water_ spell you asked me to pray for."

Wulf clapped him on the back. "Good plan! We'll wait over here while yer try it."

The paladin spread his hands over the bubbling pool and called on his celestial powers. A broad patch of the black liquid cleared to crystal purity-- then immediately began to hiss and sizzle as the blackness quickly regained dominance. 

Wulf shrugged. "Right. Next room."

The hallway out of the goo-room turned and headed off to the south, but Wulf stopped the group at a door on his left. Room after empty room, door after untrapped door, and yet they were taking no chances. Wulf carefully checked the door for traps-- nothing there. Halma booted the door open onto an empty room full of broken furniture and shattered bits of pottery. The party turned to follow the hallway to the next room, but Wulf stopped them.

"Let's just search through this mess real quick, right?" He stepped into the room.

Wulf was caught completely flat-footed as the floor just inside the doorway gave way beneath him. His reflexes were uncharacteristically slow, and he found himself sliding down a steep slope. He put his hands out to slow his fall, but was rewarded with the stinging pain of several razorblades that had been sadistically arrayed along the inside of the chute. He pulled his hands tight and tried to lift his feet, leaving his arse and his chain shirt to bear the brunt of the razor action. 

"Well, this couldn't get any wor--wha-- what the f--aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" The chute had ended-- at the outside of the tower. Wulf scrabbled at the walls as he fell a colossal _one-hundred forty feet_ to land solidly on his back.

He blinked up at the sky, just thinking and resting for a moment. The fall hadn't killed him-- at least, not instantly. Sure, he felt like he'd been laid across the anvil and pounded by the All-Father himself-- but this... this was the stuff heroes were made of. 

He raised his fist and shouted-- to the sky, to Moradin, to the tower itself, he didn't care. "IS THAT THE BEST YER GOT?"

-----------------------

Minutes (and a great many charges from their healing wands) later, Wulf was back in the tower and looking for vengeance. They continued to clear out the second layer of the tower, which although deserted did turn up another interesting item. In another dusty room, they found a section of the floor that was swept clean. A large rune was carved into the floor-- an iconic representation of a tree. 

Wulf was in the mood for another of Moradin's hammer-blows, so he nonchalantly stepped onto the rune. As far as he could tell, nothing happened-- but elsewhere in the tower, unbeknownst to them all, things were set in motion. They found the stairs to the next level, checked it for traps, and were prepared to head down, when the flickering shadows on the walls suddenly seemed to come alive. _Dozens_ of shadows, moving ethereally through the tower walls, came at them from all sides, rendering their carefully planned "fighting wedge" useless. To make matters worse, a trio of vampires materialized around Keldas and Alliane.

The shadows caught them by surprise, and in the span of just a few seconds, the paladin was completely drained of strength and collapsed on the floor. Wulf and Halma flailed away almost uselessly with their weapons, blocked off by shadows and unable to get to grips with the vampires. Alliane tried to cast _Holy Smite_ but her spellcasting was constantly interrupted by the vampires. Keldas fared no better-- neither elf could seem to maintain their concentration.

Wulf watched with alarm as the paladin's prone and pallid form grew more and more shadowy. Alliane shouted with alarm-- her own _Restoration_ spell was gone with the first touch of the vampire spawn. Dorn knew instinctively that that he lacked the charisma and willpower to convincingly call on his goddess to turn the shadows, but he also knew that it was folly to _Restore_ the paladin while they were still surrounded by shadows.

Naturally, Wulf did his part to take command of the situation. Knowing Dorn's affinity for Haela Brightaxe, Wulf did his best to scream like a dwarven woman. "Turn! Turn! Turn 'em, dammit, or we're all going to dieeee!" 

Dorn held his great-axe high and called on Haela. For a brief moment nothing happened, then slowly the shadows began to slink away. Dorn wasted no time, casting _Restoration_ on the shadowy form of the paladin. Just as his soul was fading out of existence, the paladin was saved. He returned to the land of the living at the last possible moment.

Wulf panted and dragged his drained and weary arse over to Dorn. "Well done. Now... let's save these stairs for tomorrow, aye?"

The two dwarves led the way out.

-----------------------

While they camped that night, Wulf laid out his alternate plan. 

"Right, I've had about enough o' this." He looked at Dorn and started counting off on his fingers. "Move earth, soften stone, summon an earth elemental if yer have to. Just tip the bloody thing over. Use yer priestly hoo-hah to control the weather, push back the walls of the valley, get some sunshine in here, and let's be done with it."

"What about the treasure inside?"

Wulf flexed his hand around _Taranak_. "I got everything I need already. Going back time after time... This is asinine!"

Dorn shook his head. "Well, I can't do any of the things you suggested anyway. I don't have access to such magic."

"Well what CAN yer do?" Wulf's face reddened with frustration.

"I throw a mean _Flame Strike_."

Slowly, Wulf grinned. "Right yer are. Right. Let's give 'em some more, then."

In the morning, they headed back in. 

-----------------------

Noticing from their crude, hand-drawn maps that there were some inaccessible areas, they stopped short of the next unexplored level. Wulf suggested to Keldas that it might be time for the Umber Hulk to make an appearance. Keldas agreed and made the transformation, but they quickly discovered that the large unmapped areas were solid stone-- supports for the tower. Keldas was happy to continue burrowing through the other areas, but Wulf thought better of potentially collapsing the top two levels of the tower onto their heads.

Just before Keldas was ready to transform back into elven form, Halma spoke up with one of his rare, but insightful, ideas. "Smash a hole in the outside wall and throw all the coffins out."

The party grinned and cheerfully went about the vandalism of the vampires' home. It was a simple matter for the umber hulk to smash a huge hole in the outer wall, then heave out all of the stone sarcophagi they'd found so far. The party cheered each time a sarcophagus shattered on the stones below. Just as the last sarcophagus was unceremoniously added to the pile of rubble, Wulf noted a glint in the rocks below. Quite a few gemstones were shattered and useless, but an evil-looking bone-handled dagger had miraculously survived the fall. Intrigued, Wulf retrieved the odd-looking dagger and put it safely in his pack.

Satisfied that the way above them was secured for their retreat, they headed down. The next level of the tower was empty, and eerily quiet. Eventually they found their way to a long room that, by Wulf's estimation, spanned the length of entire tower. All down the long hallway, there were darkened alcoves cut into the walls, and a large decorative sarcophagus stood suspiciously at the far end.

Wulf cursed his luck. _Wish we had the peck right about now..._ "I suppose yer all want me to scout it out, eh?"

Wrapping his cloak about him (and trying desperately to persuade himself that it wasn't pointless) Wulf moved stealthily down the hallway, searching for traps, scanning for enemies. The alcoves, thankfully, were empty. Slowly but surely he advanced until he was standing just before the sarcophagus. His allies were a long way from him. He turned, expecting to see them still cowering in the doorway-- but god bless 'em, they were moving right along behind him, not more than thirty feet or so.

Little good it did him when the sarcophagus sprang open and a mummy leapt out at him and assumed a fighting stance, a kama in one hand and its open palm facing him in the other. Wulf couldn't help but notice it was unusually _spry_ for a member of the walking dead. He was both surprised and amused when the mummy struck him with its open hand. _He's trying to infect me with mummy rot._ It was more than that. The mummy had struck him a solid blow on the solar plexus.  Wulf chuckled. _He's... he's trying to stun me with a monk's strike!_

Wulf was nearly incapacitated with laughter, knowing he had the fortitude to keep _that_ up all day. The mummy wasn't about to stun him or infect him, and it wasn't about to nickle and dime him to death with a kama, either. _Taranak_ flared up in his hand and he chuckled at the thought of a mummy facing his flaming axe.

When the spectres and shadows came drifting out of the walls, Wulf stopped laughing. Three spectres surrounded him and before he knew it, he'd felt as if he'd lost about half his lifeforce.

Now, the mummy was a bit of a problem. Drained as he was, Wulf couldn't lay a hand on it. It was too quick, and in his weakened state, too tough for even _Taranak_ to bite through. Wulf quickly assessed the situation. He could retreat back to the protection of the party, but they were strung out along the hall, and he'd leave Halma a sitting duck for the spectres' next target. And frankly, he didn't know if his numb and lifeless legs were quick enough to tumble away from three spectres without them striking him down from behind.

_Ferkit!_ Wulf sidestepped into the shallow alcove beside the sarcophagus, fully prepared to die, but intent on taking a few of them with him and still trying to make the best use of the options available. He hoped the alcove would keep at least some of his enemies at bay. He turned his attention to the nearest spectre and was lucky enough to land a series of solid blows, dispersing it. _One down, two to go..._ Wulf feebly fended off another round of attacks from the spectres, but one still struck true. Wulf felt more of his lifeforce drain away.

The paladin was rapidly becoming Wulf's new favorite ally when he stepped up and turned the remaining two spectres. He had a radiance and a force of will that neither Alliane nor Dorn could match-- and which the undead could not withstand. Alliane and Dorn turned the shadows, and Halma's greatsword soon brought the mummy crashing to the floor.

They pulled a brilliant (obviously magical) helm from the mummy's treasure. Keldas put it away for later study and pointed to a door he spotted at the end of the hallway. Dorn had already _restored_ Wulf's lifeforce so he stepped up to search for traps. Wulf didn't spot anything, but he heard a low moaning from within-- and couldn't help but notice the awful stench.

Foul-smelling, moaning entities were almost universally good for a rumble, so he readied his axe and booted the door.

The room opened onto a grisly scene of dismembered, rottting corpses-- but not so grisly that Wulf didn't start kicking through the remains to find the source of the moaning. Sure enough, he turned up a pale and scrawny human woman, who somehow mustered the strength to stay his arm and beg for help.

"Please... they've been feeding off me... I... I don't think I can take anymore."

Wulf turned his back in disgust and jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Right then. In yer go, ass-mar... yer show."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Part IV)*

_For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me,
         and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. 
I was not in safety, neither had I rest,
         neither was I quiet; yet trouble came._

Wulf waited patiently while the paladin and the pragmatic elf argued over the young girl's fate. The ass-mar wanted to bring her along, "for her own protection," and when the folly of that was pointed out to him, he instead lobbied strongly to call the entire expedition to a halt so they could return her to town. Keldas suggestion was simply to leave her locked up in the abbatoir until they could safely retrieve her.

Wulf's solution was simpler still. "Look at 'er, she's a blood doll. Probably vampire spawn already. Just put her out of our misery, right?"

The woman protested. "Please... no! I'm just a scholar, I came here to study more about Gulthias and they captured me..."

"Who's Gulthias?" Wulf looked to Keldas, who was once again getting that guilty look in his eyes. 

"You remember. The vampire from the Sunless Citadel."

"No, I _don't_ remember. I remember choppin' up some goblins and kobolds, some twig things and a bugbear or two. I think I would remember a vampire."

"I remember..." said Halma, though clearly he was struggling with it. "That big tree at the end, grabbed me and started draining me..."

"Gulthias is a TREE?"

"No, no," Keldas explained, assuming his usual air of condescension. "The _tree_ grew out of the stake that was driven through Gulthias' heart. But if Gulthias is up and active again, someone must have removed the stake."

"What?" Wulf shouted. "_I_ didn't remove any stake! I would _definitely_ remember jerkin' a stake out of a bloody dead vampire! Did _you_ remove the stake? How about _you?_" He removed his thick finger from Keldas' chest and rounded on Halma. Halma just spread his hands. 

"GODDAMN PECK!"

The woman interjected. "I don't think so. I believe Gulthias has been active for a while now. He has many allies, any one of them could have come to his rescue, to assist him in his mad scheme."

Keldas raised an eyebrow. "Which is?"

"To bring an ancient red dragon back to life and spread his infinite power and evil influence across the entire land."

"Oh, right, of course." Keldas seemed satisfied.

Wulf was still trying to cope with the idea of going up against a vampire, he didn't need a dragon added to the brew. "Don't believe a word of it. Yer can't trust the word of a stinkin' blood doll." He sniffed. "I mean, get a whiff of her, she smells like death."

Amazingly, Dorn seemed close to agreement with Wulf. "I don't trust her either... Here, drink this." He handed the girl a flask of holy water. She downed it without hesitation or discomfort.

Wulf grudgingly conceded. "Still doesn't solve the problem of what to do with her."

It was Halma who came up with the only reasonable solution. "Put her outside and let her head for town. I'll send Grrr with her to protect her." Wulf nodded; it wasn't as if Halma's little bear was going to be of any use in the tower.

The girl thanked them profusely, and off she went. Wulf called to her as they parted ways. "What kind of spellcaster was this Gulthias, priest or wizard?"

The answer came floating back through the cold air. "Wizard!"

They found that strangely reassuring.

---------------------------

Deeper still they headed into the tower, working their way around every room of the tower, looking for the next staircase down. Again and again they were assaulted by shadows, and again and again the paladin and the priests would turn them away. Alliane was the first to voice her concern.

"This isn't doing us any good. We've got to kill these shadows once and for all, otherwise they just keep coming back."

Keldas agreed. "I don't think it's a good idea to keep retreating, either. Seems like there are more of them every time we come back. Something is creating these shadows."

The group nodded in agreement. "All right, it's agreed. Next time we see shadows, we fight."

Wulf nodded and turned his attention back to the door in front of him. As usual: no traps, no sounds. He slowly opened the door, revealing a small, clean room decorated with marble. A fancy altar stood at one end, a statuette of a dragon upon the altar. 

Dorn spoke up from the doorjamb, peering past Wulf's shoulder. "It appears to be... some sort of... shrine."

"Aye, right, thank yer very much, _professor_." Wulf strode into the room. He'd seen little dragon statuettes like that before-- they sold a few from the Sunless Citadel, and they were worth a pretty penny. "I'll just take _that_, thank yer very muh...mah... mutter-ferkin--"

A sixth sense warned Wulf. Before he even heard the click of the trapdoor beneath him, he was somehow aware of the trap. All his varied skills, all his phenomenal dexterity, every last shred of his reflexes forced his muscles into motion. He was diving to the side before he really even knew what was happening. He'd never reacted so fast in his life. He doubted if there was a rogue in all the Realms who could have acted much faster. 

Fat lot of good it did him. It was as if the hands of the gods had a hold of him, and forcibly shoved him down that infernal chute _for the second goddamn time._

_More razors._ Wulf thought. _Oh, yeah, more of the bloody blasted completely superflous razorblades._ Wulf was more concerned about the half-mile drop to the ground. _Well, at least we're a level or two down from the last trap. That'll knock a good ten, twenty feet off the..._

Wulf landed with a thump. Once again, nothing broken. Nothing serious. He began laughing maniacally. "I TOLD YER BEFORE, YER PRICK, THAT AIN'T GONNA DO IT!"

About a dozen shadows came wafting out of the walls to surround Wulf at the base of the tower. 

"Um, ok, _that_ should do it." The shadows moved in, and Wulf could feel his strength being sapped away. This was deadly serious. "SHADOWS! DORN! HELP!"

Dorn heard Wulf's cries and didn't think twice. Halma and the paladin heard as well, and came to help, but after all, they had _wings._ Now Dorn... Dorn didn't think twice. He just waddled up and flopped into the hole: chute, razorblades, deadly fall-- didn't matter to Dorn.

Wulf looked up and saw Dorn falling, his holy symbol held out in front of him as he rocketed into the midst of the swirling mass of shadows. Naturally, Dorn managed to land _directly _on Wulf's head, like an anvil plummeting out of the sky. Wulf was too impressed to be angry. The shadows were equally impressed, cowering back into the tower, out of sight of Dorn's stern visage-- though truth be told, it was more likely the aasimar, beaming down from above them with his celestial light.

Dorn helped Wulf to his feet. "I thought we were going to _fight_ the shadows?"

"Oh. Aye... next time."

---------------------------

After some healing and _Restoration_, Wulf cut a short piece of rope about five feet long, tied it around his waist, and handed the other end to Dorn. "Yer just hang on to that, in case of any more chutes."

"Like a dog on a leash?"

"Har har. Twice is enough for me-- I ain't proud."

They resumed their sweep of the tower. Just as Wulf was about to grow weary of their diligence-- never finding a trap or hearing any signs of life-- he was rewarded with the sounds of bestial grunting from beyond the latest door. _At last, something flesh and blood to hack on._ Wulf could only rant and rail at the sky, or swing his axe through shadows, for so long. He wanted the satisfying _thunk_ of mortal combat.

The group readied themselves and Halma booted the door. Wulf didn't have time to really register what he was looking at-- about a dozen four-armed albino gorillas-- he just started slinging daggers out of his bandolier as fast as he could throw them. Cherry-blossoms sprouted across the chest of the first gorilla in all the vital spots Wulf had aimed for.

_Damn, if it's not nice to surprise summat every once in a while... summat with some kidneys to pulverize._

The gorillas' surprise didn't last long, however. A familiar form stepped up from the back of the room-- it was the mummy they'd already fought upstairs. 

Halma stepped forward, his greatsword at the ready. "I thought we killed that mummy?"

Apparently not. At the mummy's urging the gorillas surged forward, each crowding around, trying to use their impressive reach to grab at the party outside the door. The first pair of them got a hold of Wulf and nearly pounded him into paste. A couple more grabbed hold of Halma and just started... ripping him in half. His chain shirt would hold but Wulf could see Halma's blood gushing out of multiple wounds.

Wulf staggered back out of the doorway. "This is bad! This is _very very_ bad!"

They couldn't back up. Keldas had come forward so that he could see into the room, and was already casting. As he finished his spell dozens of black tendrils sprang up inside the gorillas' room, flailing, grabbing, and smashing at anything they could reach. 

Wulf noticed that Dorn was shouting, "Shut the door!" There was no way. The black tentacles were flailing around _through the doorway_ and Wulf wasn't about to get any closer to _that_ either. 

Halma stepped up, flailing away with his greatsword, oblivious of the tentacles, beating back the closest gorilla. Wulf saw it drop just as the mummy led the gorillas to retreat into an adjacent room. Dorn managed to get the door shut and they listened to the sound of the tendrils smashing the room to pieces. 

"That's going to go on for hours," Keldas assured them. "We need to find another way."

Wulf looked as his rough map. "Well, we saw them flee north... that door had to open onto a room right about _here._"

They all looked at the map. The critters were just on the opposite side of the hallway wall.

"Right! Let's do this right!" Dorn and Alliane were already plying their healing wands across the hideous wounds that Wulf and Halma had suffered. The paladin listened to Keldas, Wulf, and Halma as they huddled together, discussing plans they'd clearly used before. "_Rapid Strikes... Haste... Displacement... Improved Invisibility... Magic Circle Against Evil..._ Oh, and don't forget the Umber Hulk!"

When it was all said and done, Keldas was _hasted_ and _polymorphed_, Halma was _displaced_, and Wulf was the _invisible, rapid striking_ avatar of death incarnate. Alliane stood in the back with her _magic circle_ to protect them all. 

Dorn licked his thumb and tested the edge of his great axe, just in case, but he was all about the _Flame Strike_.

When they were ready, they quietly snuck to a new location in the hallway and Keldas ripped a hole through the wall. 

The gorillas were ready for them, and the party didn't have to wait long to figure out how. Three vampires coalesced out of the mist at their feet, attacking their rear, while the gorillas, who were already ringed around the open hole, started reaching through to beat them senseless.

Keldas, Alliane, and the paladin had to turn their attention to the vampires. Keldas couldn't cast spells in his umber hulk form so he started shredding the undead with his powerful claws. Alliane did the best she could and the paladin cast _Divine Sacrifice_, draining his own lifeforce to add power to his blows.

Up front, things were ugly. Halma was taking incredible punishment, despite his _displacement_. Yet neither he nor Wulf was close enough to launch any attacks of their own-- the gorillas had reach, and the only open space near them was a single spot just inside the hole-- surrounded on all sides by gorillas. 

"Someone's got to get in there!" shouted Halma.

Wulf took a look at the wide, flat noses of the gorillas and the flaw in his _invisibility_ plan became apparent. The things could detect his scent. "No!" Wulf shouted. "Move out, back up the hallway and draw them out one at a time!"

They heard a _Flame Strike_ erupt in the room. Dorn was doing his part.

"I'm going in!" yelled Halma.

"No yer not! Back up!"

"I'm going in!" Halma readied his greatsword to leap through the hole.

"God damn yer, Halma! I'm not bloody well going to let yer get killed!"

Wulf dived through the hole and started hacking away. As the gorillas fell away from him he noticed several mohrgg shuffle up from the back, their pestilent tongues wagging towards him, trying to infect him with _God-knows-what_. "Get away from me, yer filthy bastards!"

Wulf lost track of the number of blows he landed, or the number of times he himself was struck, but when it was all over, there was a big pile of dead bad guys at their feet. 

And Halma, the brave young fool, was still alive.

---------------------------

They decided to rest for the night, digest what they'd learned, and return stronger. For starters, Alliane was taking more _Holy Smite_ spells to deal with the shadows, and both Keldas and Dorn were adding different spells to their repertoire in case of more gorillas.

Despite the fear that their resting time would only give the tower's inhabitants time to recover, they met they new day enthusiastically, and were pleased to find the tower mostly inactive. Their long trip back to the site of their previous battle was uneventful, and they easily found the staircase down to the next level.

The stairs opened out onto another long hallway. Shadows and spectres assaulted them again, but they were easily overcome. Wulf's new bone dagger, it seemed, had the _ghost touch_ as well, and _Taranak_ lingered long on Wulf's belt while the bone dagger went to work. Now, the party was not just driving these evil spirits off-- they were putting them to rest, for good.

Wulf was the first to cross through the archway into the next room, moving stealthily, and he froze at the sight of the three figures at the end of the hall. Gorillas, again, only this time they were the stitched-up remnants of bodies long dead. _Flesh golems,_ thought Wulf. He failed to notice the red, scaly skin of the third and largest golem. 

The creatures hadn't moved yet, and acting on his limited knowledge of such things, Wulf assumed they were programmed to attack in response to a certain action. Entering the room had not brought them to life, so he gestured the others to enter behind him and form a fighting wedge. Keldas would start the show with an _acid breath_ spell, and Dorn's _flame strike_ could probably do the rest.

As soon as the entire party was assembled into a tight group at the end of the hall, the golems suddenly came alive, as if they had been waiting or planning the whole time. The scaly one took a short step past its fellows and breathed a cone of punishing flame across the entire party. Wulf's reflexes spared him any injury, of course, but the rest of the group was severely burned. The other two golems stood, waiting.

Before Wulf could really assess the situation, Halma had already drawn his greatsword and was looking towards him for permission to charge. Wulf thought back to the previous day and decided there was no harm in letting Halma have a little fun. "Take 'em!"

Halma sprinted across the hall, his sword held high. As he passed into the reach of each of the golems, they swung their leathery fists at him, nearly knocking him to his knees. Halma struggled to continue his charge and brought his sword down onto the scaly golem. Whether it was some foul magic or Halma's weakened state, Wulf could not tell, but the blow hardly fazed the creature. 

Before his comrades even had a chance to act, the two gorilla-golems stepped to either side of Halma, pounding away with four arms each. The scaly one then stepped up, mercilessly, relentlessly, swinging its gnarled fists like sledgehammers.

Halma was *gone.*


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE: Interlude in the Afterlife*

WRITTEN BY DM-DINKELDOG:

It wasn't how he remembered it.  Last time there were the feasts, tournaments, matches, and easy comaraderie between old, long lost friends.  

This time, there was the forest, and the large Oak that he awakened under.  The warmth was easy, but diffuse.  There was no harsh summer sun beating down when he woke.  There was a soft fog and warmth.  The mossy bed was perhaps the most comfortable thing he'd ever slept on, so he lay back a while longer.  Kheldas or Wulf would wake him when it was time to continue on...

And so the first few days went, with the soft light turning to a soft darkness, and Halma's soul pulled nourishment from the Oak he sheltered under.  Gradually, some thoughts came to him on the edge of wakefulness.  Surely, Wulf should have gotten him up for his watch, or breakfast, or something.  A tapping on his shoulder roused him.  Maybe the gruff dwarf would have a joke to tell, or the smart elf would run a thought by him, or the gentle priest would laugh and flirt with him for spending so much time a-bed.  He was only slightly surprised to see the old man.

Dressed in grey and white, with a long flowing white beard, he stood above the young barbarian, tapping him with his long staff.

"Ah, yes,"  the old man snorted, "you've finally awakened.  You've been sleeping like the dead.  Hah!  Only fitting, s'pose."

Halma wasn't sure what the old man was doing there, and he looked around for the dwarf, Kheldas, or even Tomaloc.

"Oh, no, boy.  They're not here, but they're calling for you, if you listen."

Halma could hear the voice of Alliana most strongly, with Kheldas and Wulf calling to him as well.  His most recent companions, Korak and Dorn were there, as well, if much more distant.  

"You could go to them, if you want.  There is much work to do there, as there is here.  I suppose the choice is up to you."

Halma's mind filled with smells of the Wood, peaceful and earthy smelling, as if a light rain had just finished.  Over that, he could smell a burning smell, as of someone assaulting the Wood.  But his friends would need him.  The image of 4-armed and red-scaled flesh golems appeared before him, as well as a quick flash of a living disembodied heart beating dully, sending out tendrils of hate toward all living creatures.  But there was also need here, as an image of him-- together with new companions, standing in the face of demons acting on behalf of dark gods, intent to rend the Heart of the Wood-- came to him.

"As I said, boy.  It's your choice.  I could use your help here, of course.  One like you comes by, but rarely.  There is also much that needs to be done in the Other Place."

But many more that could do it there.

"Yes.  I have a much smaller orchard than some."

Halma thought of his father's sword.

"Of course, you wouldn't go unarmed."

His father's sword coalesced in his hands--whole and pulsing with purpose.

Perhaps he could make one other visit before getting to work here?

"I should be able to arrange that, my boy.  I am on very good terms with the Lady of Plenty, after all.  And perhaps your aid would further one of her pet projects.  Yes," the old man nodded, "that one.

"But there is much to do.  Make sure that you don't tarry over long.  You have many new brothers and sisters to meet here.  And don't worry.  I'll let you know if any others arrive."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Part V)*

_Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery,
         and life unto the bitter in soul; 
Why is light given to a man whose way is hid,
         and whom God hath hedged in?_

Wulf charged in through the cloud of red vapor that hovered where his friend had stood only moments before. He took one look at the scaly, fire-breathing golem and left _Taranak_ hanging at his belt, opting instead for his hand axe and the odd bone-handled dagger. He put his weight behind the dagger, and with every thrust christened it with a new name-- _fleshrend_ or _bonesplit_-- anything to keep his mind off of Halma. 

Even after they'd dropped all three golems, nobody said a word-- they just ignored the unidentifiable pile of pulp in the corner. Most of them moved off, feigning interest in a door at the end of the hall, while Wulf recovered what he could-- an amulet, some boots, the wings... The chain shirt that Wulf himself had made for the boy shortly after their first adventure. Wulf stooped. _Always respected yer for stickin' to yer father's sword. More than I can say._ He wrapped his hand around the hilt of the sword. _I'll bury this in Gulthias' black heart for yer._

The sword cracked in two as Wulf lifted it. Shattered-- just like Halma. If this was another of the gods' attempts at irony, Wulf wasn't laughing. Well, to hell with 'em-- he'd just have to repair it. He put the pieces in his pack and caught up with the rest of the group.

Quickly satisfying himself that the door was free of traps, Wulf pressed his ear against it. 

_"Come in already, let me out of here."_

Wulf blinked. Unexpected, that. 

They opened the door and looked into the room. There was a large magic circle on the floor, and a vrock demon was trapped inside. 

"At last! Free me, mortals!"

Keldas spoke first. "Uhh... no?"

Wulf stepped forward. "Who are yer, and what are yer doin' here?"

The vrock rolled its eyes-- as if it would willingly give up its name.

Wulf shrugged. "Suit yerself. Cuckoo it is then."

"Cuckoo!? The cuckoo was a weak fool! Burn his bones and blast his soul! I'm no Cuckoo, mortal!" The vrock cackled loudly-- yes, that sort of demonic laughter that might concern a group who hadn't previously _Dismissed_ one vrock and dismembered another within the span of six seconds. 

"Not to put too fine a point on it, Cuckoo, but yer fecked. Tell us what yer know, and I'll do my best to convince these fellows not to rip yer a new one." Wulf diplomatically jerked his thick brown thumb over his shoulder. Keldas, Dorn, and the paladin were already whispering together. He could hear weapons being loosed and readied.

"I'm not making any deals with demons," Keldas warned. Taking his cue, the paladin nodded in enthusiastic agreement.

"Well now, just hold on a second. Yer have to figure he's been here a while, knows his way around..."

The vrock started to get the picture. "Yes, yes! I am a servant of Gulthias, trapped and forgotten! What do you want to know? Anything!"

Keldas locked eyes with it. "For starters, this: If we kill you, how long before you can return to this plane?"

Dorn spoke up, trying to be helpful. "I think it's like a thousand years and a day, or something like that. We'll be long gone by then."

"Yes! That's right! Ask me something else-- or free me now!"

Satisfied, Wulf pressed him for information-- details about Gulthias, the tower, everything. Unfortunately, as the demon's experience was limited to the magic circle, and he hadn't seen Gulthias in years, the most interesting tidbit was this revelation: They would need to find several pieces of a broken key in order to penetrate to the heart of the spire. Still, it was something, and it was clear the demon had no love for Gulthias-- trapped in a circle and forgotten for centuries.

"Well, he's held up his end of the bargain, let's send him home."

"Yes! Home! Freeeeeeeee meeeeeeee!"

Keldas grinned. "Oh, he'll be going home all right..." He was readying a _Bolt of Conjuring_ to blast the vrock.

Wulf held up his hands in protest. "I don't see the harm in lettin' him go. Yer want to kill him, yer on yer own..." Wulf stepped aside.

"See you in a thousand years, demon." Keldas loosed his magical bolt.

As soon as the bolt crossed the circle, the demon was free-- unharmed, unfazed, receding off across the astral and back, no doubt, to the Abyss. His thanks-- and his mocking laughter-- echoed for several moments.

"Nice work. At least yer pissed him off before he left."

------------------------------------------

They moved down another flight of stairs, deeper into the tower. As Wulf led the way, he couldn't help but notice Dorn stumping along beside him, filling the place where Halma used to be-- though of course without casting the usual lanky shadows across Wulf's path. Wulf was desperately looking around for someone in the group to attach himself to. Certainly not Dorn, the priest; nor the ass-mar paladin-- that was laughable. And while he certainly found Keldas and Alliane trustworthy and for the most part _useful_, it wasn't as if they'd be baking elven cookies together anytime soon. 

After all, it was only on Halma's insistence that they clean out this vampires' nest that Wulf had been willing to continue. 

At last they entered a small room, empty except for a huge iron lid that was clamped down over a pit. Dorn automatically moved over to the pit and started fiddling with the latches. 

"Ahhh... what yer got in mind there, priest?"

Dorn didn't even look up, and kept his chubby fingers scrabbling at the locks. "You know. Open the pit. See what's inside."

"Ach... right. Right." Wulf blinked. "Look, see, I'm havin' trouble thinking of so much as _one possible reason_ that we would want to open up a sealed pit _in the middle of a vampire's tower._"

"You know. Treasure?"

"Right. So, ahh, the lid is clamped down to keep the treasure from walking away?"

"Look, this is what adventurers _do_, okay? We pull the levers marked 'Do Not Pull,' we open the doors that say 'Do Not Enter'..."

"Right, right. We smash the statues, we whizz on the altars..." Wulf wasn't convinced, but that didn't stop Dorn.

"Exactly. And we absolutely postively open this sealed pit _right here_ and peek inside _right now_."

As Dorn pried open the last latch, Wulf set _Taranak_ ablaze in his hand, and was deeply gratified when a huge, bloated, hungry Gibbering Mouther came lashing out of the pit, grappled Dorn, heaved him into the air, and began draining his blood at an alarming rate.

------------------------------------------

They moved on, finding the rest of the level mostly abandoned. It seemed as if they'd finally driven off the shadows for good, and they continued towards the outer edge of the tower in search of the next stairway down. They found a set of double doors that led into a wide hallway, which in turn opened up into a huge room nearly half the width of the tower. Two doors led off from either side of the room-- just behind a huge column of magical fire that was roaring in a pit at the center of the room.

Several hands prodded Wulf forward from behind. "Go on. Scout."

Wulf really missed the halfling.

Wulf approached the column of fire with _Taranak_ ready in one hand, though he had no idea what good a blazing axe would do him against a column of fire. This really wasn't his forte. Big blazing pillar of fire, you'd think that had _Wizard_ or _Priest_ written all over it. Wulf dug around in his pack with his free hand until he fished out another bottle of holy water.

_I'll smash the statues, I'll whizz on the altars, and gods help me, I'll bloody well chuck holy water into mystical pillars of... evil? (the paladin nodded) ...right, into pillars of evil fire._ It made a certain kind of sense. He unstoppered the flask and pitched it into the blazing pit.

Given their experience with the sealed pit, he wasn't exactly surprised when the column roared to life, sending two huge tendrils of fire into the room to smash him. Thinking he was up against a fire elemental of colossal size, Wulf dropped _Taranak_ to the ground and quickly drew his two most powerful weapons: his old handaxe and his new ghost-touch dagger. He put everything he could behind his blows, and he wasn't even scratching the thing. He was not happy to see Keldas spells' washing off the thing like water off a duck's back, and he was even less pleased when the thing sprouted new tendrils-- enough to give everybody present a good smack across the chops. 

Within a couple of rounds they'd ascertained that:
	(a) their spells were useless (even _Dismissal_)
	(b) their weapons were useless (even Dorn's holy axe), and 
	(c) they would all be dead if they didn't flee (even Wulf-- especially Wulf).

Wulf sounded the retreat, and for once they heeded him. They got the hell out of there as fast as their legs could carry them. The creature flailed at them a couple more times as they fled, but miraculously, they all escaped. The elemental seemed consigned to the pit, and its tendrils seemed to have reached their limit.

Wulf was actually grateful not to have Halma along for that one. _Damn fool would have charged in head-first and consigned us all to fighting it out to save him._

When Wulf caught up with the elves, Keldas was already transforming into an umber hulk. "We'll just go through some walls and go around. Avoid that thing entirely. There's no way I'm facing that thing again."

Wulf shuffled his feet. "Ahh... Well, heal me up, cause I have to go back."

"Look, this is no time for heroics. Are you that eager to join Halma?"

"Not at all. It's just..."

"What?"

"_Taranak_ is still lying on the ground in there."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Part VI)*

_They  long for death, but it cometh not; 
         and dig for it more than for hid treasures; 
 And rejoice exceedingly, and are glad,
         when they can find the grave._

The paladin caught wind of their conversation and hurried to Wulf's side, eager to be helpful. "Don't worry, I'll get it for you." 

Before Wulf could satisfy himself with images of the assmar dashing into the room, only to be roasted in fiery tendrils, the paladin had activated his magic helm. He disappeared in a flash, and just as quickly, he returned, axe in hand. He was only mildly scorched. All things considered, it was incredibly anticlimactic.

Wulf sniffed. "Easy enough for yer."

The paladin beamed. "Of course!"

"Good..." Wulf snatched up _Taranak_. "Then yer won't be expectin' my undyin' gratitude."

The paladin opened his mouth to speak but was drowned out by the sound of Keldas' steel-tipped talons digging through the rock walls. Sure enough, they found a passage beyond the elemental, linking two identical rooms on opposite sides of the tower. Wulf's map and Keldas' digging revealed that there were two large sections of tower where hidden rooms could lie. After the first section turned out to be a large solid section of stone, Wulf did some quick math and surmised that they were supporting the combined weight of all the floors above them. There were no hidden rooms-- there was nothing but solid, load-bearing rock. He barely stopped Keldas before the eager mage had tunneled through the second support.

That left them with only two very obvious options: in each of the two rooms remaining there was a large open pit, a shaft that descended farther than Wulf's eyes could see. Wulf took a listen-- and couldn't help but catch a whiff at the same time. There were gorillons down there. Lots of them. 

Wulf gave voice to what they were all thinking. "We're not up for this, not without Halma. Let's go back and see the Old Man, stock up with supplies."

Keldas and Karak grabbed Wulf, Dorn, and Alliane, and together they teleported home. 

-------------------------

Wulf's first duty was to stop in for a chat with the Old Man. Once again, he was looking for some clerical supplies: holy water, potions of healing, some minor wands. And most importantly, he was looking for a discount.

He fixed the Old Man with a stare. "Now, I know yer got to pay for all this tackle somehow... So I'll cover yer expenses and throw a little in the collection plate to make it worth yer while. How much of a discount are we talkin'? Fifty? Fifty seems about right."

"How about... zero?"

"What!?"

"Are you trying to tell me that holy water isn't worth the money you pay for it? Or healing potions?"

"Wha... wha..." Wulf was red-faced and blustering. "What the hell do yer think I'm doing here? I cleaned out your damned Forge, now I'm off fightin' ancient bloody vampires, layin' our lives on the line... The least yer can do is give us a discount..."

"What, are you _destitute_ or something?"

"What about the _thirteen ferkin' thousand_ gold pieces I gave you? Ferkin' peck spends his share on armor and weapons and other goodies, and I look like an ass for handing all mine over to a blasted priest! Did yer forget about that? Cause it's time for a little payback and so far I haven't seen sh..."

"Look around. We're bringing dwarves back into these halls and rebuilding. These halls... this Forge... could be great again..."

"What good does that do _me_?"

"Well, you'd be one of the Lords of the Hall, of course..."

Wulf stopped. He blinked. The Old Man had said, "One of the Lords of the Hall" but Wulf had heard, "King Under the Mountain."

"Oh. Oh, yes..."

Wulf turned and walked out without another word. He was already trying to figure out how he could parlay his experience in brow-beating his companions into the necessary skills to command an entire kingdom.

-------------------------

Wulf stopped briefly to chat with Keldas, who was perverting some of Wulf's dwarven kinsman with his unmanly elven magic. "What'cher workin' on?"

"The usual. A few utility scrolls."

"Make us a teleport scroll."

"I don't need a scroll for that, I can just memorize it."

"Aye, but I'd rather yer memorized summat more usef... ach, to hell with it. Not like yer got anything more useful, anyway."

"No, no, nevermind. I'll humor you this time." Keldas signalled to one of his dwarven apprentices to start gathering the necessary materials.

-------------------------

The Old Man had been sorry to hear about Halma, but he assured the group that the boy had gone to his just rewards, and in any case, there was little time for grieving. He introduced them to two acquaintances of his: Loyal Vanderbrand, an elven archer; and Shorty Tumpytoes, a halfling sorceror. Wulf looked down in disgust, as if he'd stepped in something, while the halfling tugged repeatedly on his cloak, eager to introduce himself. 

Wulf looked him up and down (mostly down), leaving the halfling with the unsettling impression that he wasn't so much a _companion_ as a _mannequin_ on which someone had thoughtfully hung a few magic items for the dwarf to pluck.

"Nice ring yer got there."

The halfling beamed. "Yes, it's a _Ring of Invisibility_."

Wulf had been affecting an air of disinterest in their new companions, but he nearly jumped out of his skin with excitement. "Is that so? Better hope yer don't accidentally drop dead within arms reach of me, then, cause I could _really_ make murder with one of those..."

"Ahh... err... It's actually a _Ring of Wizardry_. See?" The halfling worked the ring on and off his finger a few times. "Nothing to see here... or not see... ahh..."

"And what is it yer do, exactly?"

"Big, flashy spells that hurt bad people... basically."

Wulf grinned. "I like this one." He turned to the elf. "And...?"

Loyal was incredibly stoic for an elf, a man of few words. "Arcane archer."

Wulf grabbed Shorty in one hand and the paladin in the other. "Let's see how this works out, then. Fire up that helm, assmar!"

-------------------------

They returned to the tower, directly back to the room with the large shaft heading down. They checked out both shafts, one on each side of the tower, sniffing, listening, and trying to pierce the darkness below. 

Wulf pointed to the shaft before them. "I think this one's got less gorilla traffic. Any objections to going this way? No? Right."

They dropped a sunrod to the bottom of the shaft. It was a long way to the bottom, and they only had about 100 feet of rope-- not enough to make it all the way. Despite the fact that it was a good 20 or 30 feet from the floor to where the bottom of the rope would hang, Dorn insisted that they leave the rope tied to the shaft, "as an escape route."

"I can't fly up this shaft," he reasoned. "It's too small for the wings. Without the rope, we're trapped."

"If yer can't climb, and yer can't fly, yer not even going to be able to reach the rope. And we're not leavin' it hangin' for somebody to discover." He quickly added, "Or boobytrap."

Reluctantly, eventually, they all made it to the bottom of the shaft, where a large pile of bones, dung, and other offal awaited them. But otherwise, no gorillons.

They followed the long hall as it wound its way under the tower. Wulf knew they were well under the surface of the ground at this point, but he wasn't any more at ease. He was still smarting from the chute-traps, and he was taking no chances. So they couldn't dump him out the side of the tower? Fine. But he was having horrible nightmares of being dumped into a steam fissure or volcanic vent. He still had Dorn holding onto his little leash.

Eventually the path ended and a huge cavern opened up before them. The floor ended at the edge of a large pit. A small shelf jutted out from the wall. It was _possible_ to inch your way along that ledge and cross the cavern. But Wulf wasn't about to volunteer. 

He got down and leaned over the edge of the pit. His darkvision picked up lots of moving shapes. Zombies. More than he could count.

_We could have probably dropped Halma down there and he could have cut his way through the whole bloody bunch._

But again, Wulf wasn't about to volunteer. Eventually, the silence behind him forced the issue.

Wulf turned to Dorn. "Well, give me the wings. Be ready."

Shorty cast _Levitate_, and Keldas cast _Fly_. 

There was a tall pillar of rock about two-thirds of the way across the cavern, and on the pillar was a large statue of a dragon. Wulf kept a lookout while they shuttled the entire party across the cavern to the ledge on the other side. When everyone was in position, Wulf flew over to take a closer look at the statue. 

There was something in its mouth.

Wulf had merely begun to _think_ about searching the statue for the inevitable trap, when his senses alerted him to danger. He ducked behind the statue just as a huge fireball exploded around him. He was unscathed, but angry. 

"What? The traps here can read minds, now?" Wulf shook his fist. "That's the only way you'll be faster than me!"

While Wulf railed at the heavens, the rest of the party was pointing down a side corridor that they'd overlooked. A large gang of mohrg was shuffling towards them, and something near the back had hurled the fireball. Wulf was the only one who had a chance of spotting it in the dark. He raced forwards as another fireball went whistling past him to explode near the ledge where the rest of the party was huddled. Dorn and Alliane were injured, but poor Shorty took the brunt of the blast. Hovering there in mid-air, he was an obvious target, and a sitting duck. 

The little sorceror wanted desperately to return a little heat their way, but he knew he'd be dead if he took another blast. He quickly retreated, landing on the ledge and running around a bend in the wall to huddle next to the two clerics. He needed healing, badly.

Wulf and the paladin moved forward together to flush out the enemy. They could see a mohrg at the back of the pack, pulling tiny beads off its necklace and hurling them at the party. 

_So!_

Keldas had sprinted forward to get away from the rest of the party and present a less tempting target; and unfortunately for the mohrg, it worked. He dropped an _Evard's Black Tentacles_ right onto the ledge where the mohrg were forming into a fighting wedge. The vicious tentacles lashed out, entangling almost every mohrg in the pack. One mohrg dodged the first tentacle, but as it shuffled forward to escape the area of effect, tentacle after tentacle lashed at its back, eventually bringing it down.

There was a method to its madness. Otherwise occupied, the tentacles could not react in time to stop the mohrg "leader," who shuffled forward with its _Necklace of Fireballs_. Now it could see the entire group, including Shorty, Dorn, and Alliane around the bend. They'd patched up the halfling but now it was Alliane who was in danger.

Wulf and Karak swooped down on the mohrg leader; Wulf charging in, Karak readying himself to strike should the mohrg attempt to throw another bead of fire. The creature grasped one of its remaining beads, and as the paladin drew back his weapon to disrupt the missile, the mohrg grinned and crushed the bead against its chest.

_Against the remaining beads on the necklace. Yer clever little prick, yer._

The blast spread out in a huge fireball. Wulf bobbed and weaved behind Karak, who weathered the blast only through the good graces of the gods.

Their foes dispatched (or at least, still being beaten senseless by the black tentacles) they patched themselves up and turned their attention to the statue once again. Wulf could clearly see a jagged piece of metal resting in the mouth of the statue. It looked like another piece of the sundered key to Gulthias' inner sanctum. Wulf didn't even bother to take a second look.

"Trap."

They all looked at him expectantly.

"If yer waitin' for me to disarm it, yer out of luck. It's magical."

They continued to stare.

Wulf sighed and made a snatch for the key, but he was stopped by a horrific jolt of electricity. Certainly not fatal. He could probably take another jolt... unless of course the first one was just a warm-up.

"Ach, right. I'm done. Get it yerself."

Karak sailed over to the spire and hovered in front of the statue. "Well, if it's electricity we're dealing with, I think I can resist it a little better..."

"Aye, don't let us mere mortals stand in yer way, assmar."

Karak snatched the key, taking his own jolt in the process. If he was better able to resist the electricity, it didn't show-- but, he _did_ come away with the key fragment.

They moved on through the tunnels-- skipping the tunnel where the mohrg had emerged, as it would be full of raging tentacles for hours. Instead they headed the opposite direction, coming at last to a large hallway. The hallway continued around a corner, but off to the south there were two double doors.

Wulf waved the group along. "Let's not open any doors or leave any unsecured..."

Keldas was already standing before the doors, and before Wulf could stop him, Keldas gave them a push. They opened easily and silently. Keldas gestured inside at the swirling mists. "See? Nothing to worry about. Now we can move on."

Wulf muttered to himself. "...bitch."

Around the corner they went until the hallway stopped at another door. Pressing his ear against it, Wulf could hear the low grunting of gorillons. He motioned the party back around the corner, where they prepped for battle.

Gathering once more at the door, Wulf kicked it open, and the party let fly with everything they had. Wulf held the middle of the doorway, with the paladin on one side and Dorn on the other. Shorty and Loyal stood just behind them, lending ranged support to the attack, while Keldas kept them all juiced up with his various transmutations.

They struck hard and fast, but even so, it was rough going, and when the gorillons finally fled, slamming the door behind them, the party was in no shape to pursue. They had to stop for a few moments-- a few precious moments while their offensive spells wore off-- and heal up.

As quickly as possible, they moved on, stopping in front of the door for more timely spells. The door opened into another good-sized room, about 20' x 30'-- but it was abandoned. There was another door on the opposite side. Moving cautiously forward, wasting more precious time, they booted the next door. Again, an empty room. 

They knew they couldn't afford to dawdle, so they hustled across. They had barely formed up in front of the next door when it was yanked open and the gorillons came at them. Though he fancied himself a front line fighter, the paladin was quickly rended near to death, and retreated to the back of the room to touch himself in his special way. Standing in the center of the doorway, Wulf saw the gorillons angling to attack Dorn, their huge arms clawing past him to get at the priest. Acting instinctively, Wulf grabbed Dorn and shoved him aside, switching places with him just in time to bear the brunt of the attack.

Unfortunately, by switching places with him, Dorn was left in the center of the doorway, without the cover he'd enjoyed from the doorjamb. In a flash, he too was shredded and dropped to the floor. 

Now standing alone in the doorway, Wulf took a step to the side to block their approach, and shouted to Keldas. "Bring it! Bring it all, don't worry about me!"

Keldas stepped up just behind Wulf. At the last second, Wulf dodged aside, bending nearly backwards so that Keldas could let forth a belch of acid onto their enemies. It had worked wonders before, on the wolves, but the gorillons were just too tough-- and now, they were pissed. Wulf widened his stance and gripped his weapons. "Yer want him, yer got to come through me!"

One of the gorillons stepped up toe to toe with Wulf-- and simply reached OVER him. Keldas was grabbed in both hands and literally torn in half like an old scroll. 

"Godammit!"

Wulf could hear Loyal and Shorty's plaintive cries behind him... "We're going to die!" and "Not like this!" and most peculiarly, "_Not again!_"

Wulf grabbed Dorn's bleeding body in one hand and the largest chunk of Keldas in the other, backpedalling as fast as he could. He gradually became aware of Karak shouting in his ear. "What are we going to do?"

Wulf shoved Dorn into Karak's arms and pointed at Alliane and Loyal-- two slender elves. "Take them home-- NOW!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," shouted Shorty, who realized he'd been selected to stay behind. "Are you sure?"

The paladin hesitated only a moment, then activated his helm and they were gone.

The gorillons were advancing on them, but Wulf paid them no heed, instead rummaging through Keldas' corpse. Shorty stood nearby, wondering if he was somehow expected to hold off the advancing gorillons while Wulf looted his fallen comrade. Shorty closed his eyes and felt the gorillon looming over him, its hot breath on his face. He opened an eye for one last peek.

He was face to face with Wulf, red-faced and shouting, holding Keldas bloody corpse on his hip and pressing a scroll into Shorty's hands.

"REEEEEEAAAAAAAD!"

And in a wink, they were teleported home to safety.

-------------------------

It's been said by other, more poetic writers, that the effects of _Resurrection_ leave one in a state of heavenly bliss, in the happy afterglow of the soul's effortless flight to the outer realms. In fact it's said that oftentimes, the soul is so overcome with joy that it chooses not to return to the land of the living.

But there was none of that for Keldas; no questions of whether he was coming back or not, none of that mincing about "with his feet not quite touching the ground." (Well, no more than usual, anyway.)

Instead, as the Old Man finished ressurrecting him (for the second time, mind you) he bolted up, straight as a rod. "It is ass-kicking time." He trotted over to the pile of his belongings and began suiting up. He looked around at the others. "You coming or not?"

-------------------------

Fully rested and prepared with a slew of ass-kicking goodness, they prepped themselves with spells and returned. Wulf was enjoying the benefits of _Improved Invisibility_ once again, which pretty much ensured that he would mulch anything foolish enough to come within arms' reach. He paid little attention to the preparations that the others enjoyed, salivating as he was at the prospect of slaughter.

They worked their way back to the gorillon nest, find only empty rooms, until they came at last to a door they had not managed to breach on their last assault. Wulf took a wide stance in the center of the door and smashed it open with a steel-soled boot. 

Before he could come to grips with a single opponent, spells were flying past him into the room. Shorty's lightning blasted through the doorway (with no concern for Wulf), as was the case with Keldas' acid belch. 

But the topper was from Dorn, who'd apparently decided to focus on Haela's _War_ aspect for the day, instead of _Luck_. He conjured up a spinning maelstrom of blades and dropped it right into the center of the gorillon lair-- their men, their women, their children and elders.

Never before had they unleashed so much devastation across so many foes at one time.

The gorillon "chieftain" led out a wailing cry. "Evil surface-dwellers return to murder us!"

Wulf was slightly angry that he couldn't get through the bladestorm to attack his foes, but even so, he couldn't help grinning. 

"Look out, boys! They're unleashing their secret weapons: doubt and guilt! Oooh!"

He laughed as the blades whirled, and chunky, charred, oozy, ozone-scented bits of gorilla splattered the walls. A large group of gorillon younglings fled down a wide passage at the end of their lair. Dorn dropped his concentration and the bladestorm vanished. 

Wulf was off like a shot, chasing down the survivors. It was butchery, but it was glorious-- just like the old days, hunting goblins back in his clan's tunnels. His axe rose and fell invisibly, relentlessly, keeping time to the sound of his comrades finishing off the wounded gorillon adults. Unburdened by conscience, Wulf stalked among the scattered, frightened young, slaughtering them to the last.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Finale)*

THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE (Part VII, FINALE)

_The small and great are there;
         and the servant is free from his master. 
There the wicked cease from troubling;
         and the weary be at rest. _

The group wanted to move off immediately to the mist-shrouded doorway, but a quick check of the map showed that they'd missed a few rooms. At any rate, as Keldas pointed out, they didn't yet have all the pieces to the key.

Sure enough, they found a secret door that led to a set of unexplored rooms. Cautious as ever, they opened the door onto a large room, with a high ceiling, an altar at one end, and mysterious runes covering the checkerboard floor.

Wulf pointed to the runes. "Trap, no doubt. Can yer read 'em from here?"

Keldas shook his head. "Not really. Appears to be draconic, but I can't quite make it out. I could cast _Fly_ and hover out over them; see them better from above and not risk stepping on them."

Wulf didn't like the thought of using Keldas' spell so early. "Hmph. Shorty's got a _Ring of Levitation_, let's just have him do it." Wulf looked expectantly at the halfling, who in turn looked to Loyal. Loyal nodded.

"Well, ok." The halfling rubbed his hands together and floated out over the inscription. "Yep, it's draconic, all right. Let's see... Oh! A riddle! I like riddles!"

The halfling read aloud to them, a long-winded piece touting the glory of the mighty dragon Ashardalon, but buried inside was a couplet that even Wulf had heard before: _"The poor have it, and the rich need it..."_

"Pfft. That's easy." The halfling said, "Nothing!"

Immediately a crackling ray of light sizzled out of the altar and into Shorty's chest, striking him dead instantly. He dropped to the floor with a tiny, sickly thud.

"HOLY CRAP!" The entire party jumped back a step or two. 

Wulf was the first to speak. "Ooh, sorry about your cohort, Loyal... Ahh... Ach, right, assmar-- evil altar. You're the next logical choice."

The paladin protested only briefly, but the truth of the matter was that he was best equipped to ward off evil spells. He unfurled his _Wings of Flying_ and soared into the room.

Keldas shouted from the doorway. "Don't read the runes!"

Unfortunately, despite his near-godlike wisdom, the paladin couldn't help but look down. He, too, read the riddle, and there was a tension in the air as if _something_ waited for his answer.

"Don't say 'Nothing!'," Keldas shouted.

Wulf nodded. "Right! Don't say nuthin'!"

The paladin said nothing.

Apparently, that too was the wrong answer. The sizzling ray of light struck the paladin, but as they'd hoped, he fought off its full effect. Even so, though he did not die, the ray drained a significant portion of his life force. His comrades could see him withering from across the room.

Alliane shoved her way to the front. "Lay hands upon the altar, Korak! Channel your divine energy!"

"Use your mojo, assmar!" Wulf shouted.

The paladin swooped down and laid his hands flat upon the altar, channeling all his divine energy into the stone. The altar buckled, cracked, and exploded.

There was polite applause from the back of the room. "Didn't know I could do that," Korak admitted. "Good to know..."

With the altar destroyed, they moved into the room. Wulf prodded the halfling's corpse with his toe and called Loyal over. "Get what yer need, elf, I'll come back and carry the body for yer." The elven archer stooped over his fallen comrade to recover anything of use.

Wulf rubbed his hands together and peered through the archway off to the left of the altar. He could barely make out the shape of yet another sarcophagus. "Right. Next room. Dorn, assmar, come on."

Wulf moved cautiously to the sarcophagus and searched it carefully before pronouncing it safe to open. He ignited _Taranak_ and stood at the head of the sarcophagus, motioning Dorn to its feet, and Korak to the side, so that he could push the heavy stone lid aside. "On three... three!"

The paladin pushed aside the lid, and immediately a thick brown smoke spilled into the room. The cloud spread fast, filling their room almost instantly and even moving out into the nearby room with the altar.

Wulf, Dorn, and Korak held their breath and the cloud passed. Alliane and Keldas covered their faces. Loyal coughed once, politely, looking only a little paler for having inhaled a good dose of the gas. 

"That wasn't so bad. Anything inside?" Wulf started fishing out a vial of holy water to consecrate the coffin while Dorn prodded around inside, recovering a few gems and other trinkets. 

"Not much of a take, really. I suppose that's why the trap wasn't particularly nas..."

There was a hideous shriek and a gurgling sound from the next room. Loyal was standing over Shorty, while half his insides bubbled up from his mouth and the other half went sliding down his pants leg. Loyal toppled over onto Shorty in a pile of multi-colored goo that, curiously enough, matched the classic elven palette of greens, yellows, and browns he usually wore.

Wulf smacked himself in the forehead. "Goddamn onset time! One minute! Yer could set yer clock by it! And I just sat there an' let it happen!"

Dorn and Alliane felt equally responsible. "Really should have occurred to me, too," said Alliane, "though I didn't have any magic prepared to deal with it in any case."

Dorn spread his hands. "Don't look at me, I'm just here for War support, really. Who knew the secondary effects would be so grim?"

Keldas was unrolling his scroll of _Teleport_. "Let's call it a day."

-----

They returned to the old man, and sensing that the end was near, they fully prepared themselves for an encounter with Gulthias.

Karak informed them that he had to pay a visit to the head of his order, and without saying another word, teleported himself off to the temple of Tyr.

Wulf conferred with Keldas. "First, another _Teleport_ scroll. And I recommend some kind of permanent _Protection from Evil_ for me. Last person yer want dominated and under control of a vampire is me." _And as an added perk, it'll keep summoned critters off my arse, but there's no sense mentioning that or everyone'll want one._

When it was all said and done, they'd stayed only a few days. Dorn had prepared a few useful scrolls, while Keldas and Alliane had made two magic helms of _Protection from Evil_, one for Wulf, and one that went, at least temporarily, to Loyal.

After another painful ressurrection, Loyal and Shorty had come to a bit of an understanding-- with Shorty angrily swearing he wouldn't follow Loyal's orders into death anymore, and Loyal consequently swearing to protect Shorty's life with his own, for a change.

The paladin returned after a couple of days but was curiously tight-lipped about the encounter with his superiors. 

"Rip yer a new one, did they?"

-----

They returned to Gulthias' tower stronghold, moving systematically through more rooms, with more sarcophagi and more traps, from falling blocks to contact poisons to clouds of poison gas. They were, without a doubt, among the nastiest traps Wulf had ever seen, and despite his normally flippant attitude about poisoni, he took every precaution when opening the traps. He and Dorn alone would enter each new room, armed with rope, block and tackle, to remove the stone lid of each new sarcophagus.

They had only one tense moment, when a cloud of poison gas spread so far and so fast that the rest of the group, even in the next room, was in danger. Shorty coughed and sputtered, and the group sprang into action-- removing cloaks, amulets, rings, whatever was at hand, and casting _Guidance_ and _Resistance_ as fast as they could. Moments later, from beneath a pile of magical protections, they finally heard Shorty sputter, "It's ok, I'm alright!"

Their path was blocked only once more, by a group of gorillons led by a pair of hags. Dorn's whirling blades of divine wrath made short work of the gorillons, but the hags were unaffected. A lone gorillon managed to crawl his way to safety at the edge of the blade-storm, but Wulf dropped him with a couple of nasty slashes with his bone-handled dagger. The hags seemed to recognize the dagger, or perhaps the murderous look in Wulf's eye as they feebly lobbed _Magic Missiles_ at him; or perhaps it was his bellowing cry to, "...slit the belly of the next bitch-hag to come within arms' reach!"

Whatever the cause, they turned invisible and fled the scene. 

Dorn ceased concentration on his blades so that the rest of the group could enter the room. He was approaching Wulf, who was scouting out a curious alcove that jutted out into the room, when Wulf abruptly disappeared from view.

Korak had seen it, too, and though his mind didn't work quite as quickly, he gathered what had happened soon enough: Without hesitation, Dorn had followed in Wulf's footsteps and jumped into the alcove. Whatever fate was to befall Wulf, he was once again ready to share it. As Dorn disappeared, the paladin made up his mind and was the next to follow. 

Keldas hesitated a moment or two longer than one might expect-- a fact not lost on Wulf, who waited on the "other side" of the teleport in a small 10x10 closet. He was hastily grabbing his comrades and shoving them off the "entry point" as quickly as they appeared. He didn't want to imagine what would happen to someone who was standing there when another body materialized inside.

Eventually they were all gathered together into a single small room. "Ain't this cozy. Wait here."

Wulf opened the door and scouted the hallway where they had arrived. It was all new territory to them, a wide, winding hallway full of lots of small "closets" and empty rooms. They cleared them one by one, eventually terminating in a large room with over a dozen sarcophagi. It was a familiar scene, including the part where countless shadows melted out of the walls, leeching away Wulf's life force until he was nearly dead, only to be blasted back by _Holy Smite_ from the clerics and the holy symbol of the paladin.

They found the last piece of the key in the mouth of a dragon statue that came alive to attack them. Though it took an incredible amount of punishment while flanked by Korak and Wulf-- including one of the rare but ferocious flame bursts from _Taranak_-- the dragonnette did very little damage in return. The party was more concerned by the hags, who showed up at the opportune moment to harass them with magic from down the hall. Shorty and Keldas threw spells back in return, but were unable to pierce their magic resistance. Once again, as soon as the warriors arrived to support the spellcasters, the hags thought better of the situation, and fled invisibly.

-----

Now, at last, they had all the pieces of the key. Keldas cleverly put each of the twisted metal pieces together-- they formed into a single dragon-shaped key. Their explorations had mapped out every last cranny of the tower catacombs-- everything except the misty alcove where the keyhole was found.

They approached the alcove. As no one stepped forward to explore the mists, Loyal pulled a critter out of their _Bag of Tricks_. A wolverine answered the call and seemed none too happy when Loyal gestured into the alcove. It held its head and its tail low and loped into the mists. After a moment, it returned.

"So far, so good. Let's try the key." Wulf held out his hand for the key and Keldas willingly handed it over. After satisfying himself that there were no traps, Wulf inserted the key into the keyhole and cranked it around. The mists cleared a little bit and they could see to the other side of the alcove, not more than ten feet away, where a hallway stretched off beyond. The alcove was essentially like a little cubicle in the middle of a long hallway. Wulf checked their map. It seemed legitimate. Wulf tossed one of his stakes through, and it landed-- quite naturally although under the circumstances, quite unexpectedly-- on the other side. 

Wulf was still expecting something unpleasant. He looked at the wolverine again. "Fetch." 

The wolverine sighed and rolled its eyes, walked through the alcove, grabbed the stick, and returned. Nothing happened.

They were expecting Gulthias, not an empty cubicle. On a whim, Wulf ducked his head into the alcove and looked _up_.

And there it was.

Glaring down at him from some sixty feet up was a single point of light, as red as molten lava, like a baleful, unblinking eye. The ceiling was some forty feet across at the top, tapering down to ten feet to the alcove at the bottom, so it looked like an inverted alchemist's flask-- or perhaps a funnel. Wulf blinked to clear away the brief image of lava pouring down onto them all through that funnel.

Wulf grabbed Shorty and pointed up at the light. "Use yer ring... Go check that out."

Shorty pulled away. "I don't think so."

"Oh for the love of... Criminy, one bad day and yer go all gun shy on me. Fine. Give me yer ring, and I'll go."

Keldas interceded. "I'll go." In fact, he'd already cast the spell he needed. Assuming _Ghost Form_, he drifted up towards the glowing light.

The rest of the party made ready. Alliane cast _Magic Circle_, Wulf downed a potion of _Spider Climbing_, Shorty floated up slowly behind Keldas, Karak flew up beside him, Loyal nocked an arrow and focused his aim on the pinpoint of light, and Dorn grumbled about not being able to fly.

Keldas had nearly reached the ceiling and Shorty was not far behind. They could see that the pinpoint of light was a small hole in the middle of an iron port-hole cover set in the ceiling.

Wulf crouched nearby on the wall. "Put yer eye up to it, Shorty, take a peek."

The halfling ignored Wulf, focusing his attention instead on Keldas' ethereal form, which had drifted over to the edge of the ceiling. Keldas paused only a moment before poking his head through the ceiling-- or, as it were, through the floor of the chamber above them.

Gulthias was ready for them. A ray of light struck Keldas, and he recognized it as a _Finger of Death_ as he fought off its effects. He wasn't dead, but he wasn't happy, and he retreated as fast as his _Ghost Form_ would allow.

As he descended, Keldas gave a quick account of what he had seen, including a roll-call of Gulthias' last defenders.

"Big room, throne, crystal ball, hag, wight, 4 white gorillons, 4 shadows, 6 vampire spawn, 8 spectres, Gulthias, and _a huge beating heart twenty feet across!_"

Keldas had moved down just above the group on the floor and just below his comrades floating, flying, or clinging to the chamber above. When he was in position, he cast _Mass Haste_.

None too soon, as the shadows soon appeared around Shorty, attacking him viciously, draining his strength. Shorty fell back towards Wulf and the shadows pursued him. The voices of his comrades rung in his ears, advising him what to do, until finally the halfling shouted, "Enough!" He threw caution to the wind, started casting despite the fact that he was surrounded by enemies, and let fly with a _Burning Hands_ spell. Before Wulf could even reflect on how the Halma-like the halfling's behavior was, the first fan of fire was followed by another. Three of the four shadows were vaporized, and Wulf reached forward from his perch on the wall to hack apart the last one.

Keldas pulled a scroll from his things and cast _Spider Climb_ on Dorn, who moved up the wall to join Wulf, ready with his holy axe should the spectres decide to appear. Wulf pointed up at the iron port-hole cover. "As soon as that thing's out of the way, be handy with something _warlike._"

Shorty, his strength severely drained, had shrugged off all the extra gear he could spare, but his nerve held. "I got it." A thin ray flashed from Shorty's hand and struck the iron cover. "Look out below!" The iron plate was _Reduced_ to a fraction of its former size, and it came tumbling out of its moorings.

Wulf and Dorn had their eyes locked on the hole in the ceiling though they were both more concerned with spectres coming at them through the very walls. As they looked on, a hag poked her head over the hole, silhouetted by the bright red glow from the room beyond. Loyal let fly with an arrow-- specially enchanted by Dorn's _Greater Magic Weapon_ spell. Where the hag had previously ignored Loyal's arrows, this time was different. She fell back howling from the hole.

But her purpose, apparently, was served, as the next one to appear at the hole was none other than Gulthias himself. He cackled with glee and detonated a burst of _Dispel Magic_ amidst the heroes. Almost without exception, their _Haste_ spells withered away. Gulthias, of course, suffered no such fate: His own _Haste_ spell was still in effect, and he followed up his first spell with a massive _Fireball_ in downtown party central.

As usual, Wulf's reflexes took over, and he avoided the entire blast. He couldn't ignore the cries of his allies, however-- particularly Shorty's plaintive wail. Though the halfling had dodged most of the blast, it had still nearly killed him. The frail sorceror looked over at Dorn (who'd taken the full brunt of the blast, and still looked none the worse for wear) and cried out, "Why am I even _here?_" Shorty started to slowly levitate himself out of the area.

Keldas was eager to sling spells against Gulthias, and countered with a targeted _Dispel Magic_ of his own to drop the vampire's preparations. As he began casting, the second hag appeared, clutching the wall across from Wulf. Her invisible form materialized as she attacked.

"Fool!" she cried. "I've been waiting for that!" And with that, she loosed a horrendous volley of _Magic Missiles_ into Keldas to disrupt his spellcasting.

Keldas winked and tapped the brooch at his neck. The hag's missiles struck the brooch and melted away harmlessly as Keldas completed his spell.

Just beneath the port-hole, Karak watched as Gulthias' form shimmered under the _Dispel Magic_. Not waiting to ponder what magic defenses had held and which had not, Karak flew up to the hole, and...

Perhaps we should mention here what Karak had been up to, while the party was preparing in the Forge, and he was off visiting his superiors at the temple of Tyr. Karak had beseeched the head of his order to prepare for him a magic scroll, inscribed with a secret paladin's ritual known as _Sacred Journey_. Although the price was steep-- and Wulf didn't want to think about where the paladin was coming up with that kind of petty cash-- there could be no doubt that the scroll was worth every copper.

For the _Sacred Journey_, although it apparently could manifest in many different ways, had this profound effect upon the aasimar:

It essentially doubled the amount of divine energy he could channel through his hands.

Thus, when Karak soared up to the hole in the ceiling, reached his hand through, touched Gulthias' ankle, and channeled every ounce of positive energy he could muster, the entire audience in attendance, heroes and evil foes alike, were rather surprised by the outcome. 

Gulthias exploded into a million motes of dust, his magic rings and amulets tinkling down through the hole like candy from an overstuffed pinata.

Without the protection of Gulthias, the clean-up was elementary. Some two dozen of the startled onlookers wouldn't live to witness another such event.

-----

The party gathered up in the chamber above, where they could see up close the enormous beating heart that hung suspended on chains above their head.

"Well, there's an eye opener, and no mistake!" Shorty was still a little punch-drunk from the fireball. "You want me to blast it?"

"I don't have a stake big enough for that." It was probably twenty feet across.

Shorty spoke up. "I bet that's Gulthias' coffin."

Wulf looked to Keldas. "Ashardalon's heart, yer think? Probably not wise to muck with it."

Keldas shrugged. "We'll see." And with that, he turned his face towards the ceiling and belched forth a cone of acid. The chains gave way and what was left of the heart came crashing to the floor. The outer layers of the heart were eaten away, and they could see into the interior-- a four chambered heart. Sure enough, Gulthias' ghostly form rested in one of the chambers, as snugly if it were a sarcophagus. 

"See yer." Wulf doused Gulthias' resting place with holy water. There was a loud, lingering shriek, then silence. The aura of evil seemed to have finally left Nightfang Spire.

The party dove into the heart, searching for the final payoff. Dorn was already circling around Gulthias' crystal ball, admiring it from all sides. Keldas and Shorty had cast _Detect Magic_ and were amiably dividing up Gulthias' wizardly accoutrements, including a powerful _Ring of Protection_. There were several other magic items, plenty of gold and gems, but nothing that Wulf really wanted. For the most part, he stood aside disinterestedly and let his comrades pick through the loot.

Suddenly, something caught his eye. Wulf caught his breath between his teeth and stepped forward.

He reached into the gory heart and pulled out a beautiful, bloody gold crown-- fit for a king.

"Mine."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THE HEART OF NIGHTFANG SPIRE -- Epilogue*

Wulf sat in the small, spartan room he'd secured for himself at the Forge, turning the crown over and over in his hands. It was obviously worth a small fortune-- he pegged it at about five-thousand gold pieces, not bad for a single bit o' flash. No doubt he could head down the mountain into the nearby town and trade it for something a little more worthwhile. Maybe use it as a downpayment on that _Ring of Blinking_ he'd had his eye on for so long. 

Wulf leaned over the small table beside his bed where the letter still lay, the stark dwarven runes criss-crossing the page like battle scars and worry-lines. He smiled, playing over the words in his head, instinctively filling in the familiar dialect:

_"We're comin', cousin-- heard the news of yer fortunes, good an' bad. Rounded up a few o' the lads, a likely bunch, an' Bala Saka to boot. Aye, that one's lookin' forward to crossin' blades with yer again, though yer might be surprised to hear he's given up his blades fer a stout length of oak. If tales be true o' yer flamin' axe, keep it well away from him-- got a bit of a thing fer fire these days, he has..."_

The few coins he'd spread among the bards back in town had paid off, it seemed. 

_"... though he's as bloodthirsty as ever yer were, yerself. Had any luck with that forge? Seem to recall yer were a fair hand with the hammer. Never ye mind, some clansmiths on the way, an' yer can keep to what yer do best. Cleanin' house."_

Truth be told, since coming back from Nightfang Spire, Wulf had spent most of his time in the forge. With very little else to occupy his time, pounding out his frustrations on the anvil was the closest he'd get to battle. Just to pass the time, he'd been working on a custom buckler. Oh, it was a masterwork, all right-- but it hadn't proved itself to be particularly nasty, nor even as wieldy as he'd intended. He held out hope that one of the bloody elves could enchant the damn thing. Just in case, he'd spread a little gold amongst the apprentices. Somebody would figure it out and finish it off.

_"Heard summat about yer wastin' yer money on temples an' priests. Yer goin' soft, or yer just take one too many knocks in the head? Gonna have to hope it's the latter-- otherwise yer due for one more knock when I see yer meself."_

Oh, aye? Wulf told himself he was just hedging his bets. Hoarding money was never his style-- spread it around where it would do some good. Pay the apprentices, pay the local thieves' guild, even pay the bards for a song or two. But above all, pay the priests and keep the gods happy. That's all there was to it, and that's a fact.

Of course, he had to admit he'd spent a fair bit of time with Dorn, who was always on about the blessings of Haela Brightaxe; and way too much time with the Old Man, who, if he was any more a direct representative of the All-Father, was seriously due for a good one across the chops. Wulf didn't care much for Haela or Moradin, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being called all the same. 

Wulf's hand had unconsciously curled into a tight fist, and it took him some time to unknot his fingers and pick up the letter. His eyes hastily scanned the remaining text.

_"Yer father, not surprisin', doesn't send his love. Seems a fair bit surprised to hear tales o' heroism an' insists the tale must be gettin' stretched in the tellin'. Don't half believe it meself-- have to get the real story out when I see yer, soon enough. 

Till then, may yer beard be bathed in bloody battle, 

yer cousin,

Naïl Ashfist_

Wulf stood and tossed the crown onto his hard bed. It hit the thick quilt with the slightest metallic ringing-- the muted sound of a dagger being drawn out of a boot. It was sweet, that sound, and he smiled for a moment, before dark thoughts got the better of him.

_Will you smile so when you're too old to draw steel and your daggers cease their singing? Will it ring as sweetly in your ears when crown falls from weary brow to soft blankets?_

"Blast me to hell an' back! Been spendin' too much time with goddamn bards!"

Wulf stomped out of his room, scooping up _Taranak_ from beside the door. 

Time to talk to the Old Man about the next fool's errand.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*DEEP HORIZON Part I*

The Old Man had barely opened the door to his study before Wulf pushed his way in. Keldas, Dorn, and Shorty swept in behind him, cramping the already small cloister even further. Wulf paced like a caged animal.

"I'm goin' crazy here. Yer got anything else needs killin'?"

"Well, while you lot were off playing with vampires, we have had a few problems of our own. From what you mentioned about the drow that escaped from here when you first assaulted the Forge, we gathered that there were more tunnels below. We've been working to clear them, making slow progress, until recently. An earthquake of some kind opened up a wide highway into the underdeeps."

"Yer send some patrols?"

"Naturally. We sent a sizable patrol of dwarves, though only two survivors returned. They encountered a sizeable force of lizardmen, trolls-- even a beholder-- but managed to bring back this scroll and map."

Keldas could see the drow writing slithering across the surface of the letter, and took hold of it like it was a dead fish. "Orders for the trolls to report to the drow city, Chael Rendaar."

Wulf thumped his finger down on the map. "There's the city, but these here runes say the whole city was wiped out."

Keldas frowned at Wulf. "What's tough enough to take out an entire city of drow?"

"Present company excluded?"

Dorn nodded. "Aye! What are we waiting for?"

The Old Man nodded. "Given that we've suffered more earthquakes since then, at lessening intervals, there's certainly something going on down there, and the sooner you put a stop to it, the better."

"We'll make our preparations and head out as soon as possible," said Keldas. "I still have a few items to craft to aid us on our way."

Shorty didn't look as confident, whispering to Dorn as they headed out. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

*****

Once they were prepared, they headed down into the underdark behind a small force of dwarves, including the two survivors from the last patrol. Eventually the dwarves reached their limit. They pointed off down the wide tunnel into the darkness. "This is as far as we go, but the city is just ahead, a few miles at most. May the blessin's of Moradin go with you!"

Wulf scowled. "Like I need _that_ right now. Damn well keep his eyes off me... the less attention I get the better." Still, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Already he was aglow with the thought of skewering a drow or three from behind. He waited until the patrol had moved out of sight before turning to the group. "Yer ready or what?"

"Well," said Keldas. "You're the scout. Get scouting." He feebly waved his hand forward in a dismissive gesture.

Wulf saluted and skipped ahead with mock-halfling glee. "Keep about a hunn'erd feet back, right?"

Wulf led them forward a mile or so, ever downward, keeping his eyes and ears sharp, before finally sensing that something was wrong. High above him, voices muttered in Undercommon. The group was moving through a narrow cleft about 20 feet wide, but higher than they could see. Wulf waited for the group to rejoin him then pointed upwards, indicating that he'd check it out. He crept forward into the passage and spread wide his _Wings of Flying_.

Wulf rose slowly through the cavern, twenty feet, forty feet, eighty feet before he could see the ledge above him. The walls pulled away from the main cavern on both sides, leaving a shelf on either side. Wulf guessed the drow would be waiting there. He prepared for one mighty flap of wings that would propel him up and over the ledge, but before he could act, the enemy struck.

It wasn't drow. 

In fact wasn't anything Wulf had ever seen or heard of before. It was a group of large, bat-like humanoids. They walked upright on short legs, their bodies were covered in thick fur, and their arms were crooked, but strong. Vestigal wing-flaps ran down the underside of their arms. Wulf had only a moment to take it all in before they began shooting at him with huge, wicked bows. Whatever they were, they had the sense to craft mighty bows, and they were powerful-- and accurate. Wulf took a couple of arrows before his instincts kicked into high gear. He shouted the alarm and launched a salvo of daggers at the nearest creature.

The group on the ground moved into action. Shorty levitated just above Loyal, who strained his eyes up into the darkness to pick out a target. Karak unfurled his own wings and launched himself onto the western ledge, opposite Wulf-- where four more of the creatures waited. If Karak hadn't moved so quickly, Wulf would have found himself in an extremely unpleasant crossfire.

By the dim glow of the paladin's sword, Loyal could now spot a target. He enchanted an arrow with _Light_ before letting it fly. Now the rest of the group could see their targets and it wasn't long before Shorty and Dorn were bringing down spellfire on the ledge. It was, perhaps, too little too late. All four of the creatures turned towards the paladin and let out a host of sonic shrieks that nearly tore him apart. He staggered to his knees and called upon divine healing before rising once again to do battle. 

Keldas' _earring of darkvision_ served him well. He cast _haste_ and _fly_ and zipped up to where he could see the group on the eastern ledge where Wulf was battling. Keldas was the first to notice that one of the creatures was bound up in the corner. _So, they fight amongst their own kind? They must be civilized, then. _ Keldas summoned an enormous celestial lion directly onto the ledge. Wulf took advantage of the opportunity to close his wings and step lightly onto the ledge, in perfect flanking position. _Taranak_ burst into flame as he hacked into the bat creature's unprotected flanks. 

Before long Wulf and the lion had ripped down two of the four creatures on the shelf. Wulf pointed across the chasm to the shelf on the other side, where the paladin was having no luck trying to hold his own against the bat-creatures. "Keldas! I got these! Have him leap across to help the assmar!" Wulf gestured to the bound creature that struggled next to the lion. "Yer move, yer dead!" Wulf turned to face the two opponents remaining on the east side.

The mighty celestial lion-- fifteen feet long and six feet high at the shoulder-- gathered its haunches and prepared to nimbly make the twenty foot leap across the chasm. The lion's mighty jump carried it all of FIVE FEET out into the chasm where it hung for a moment before plummetting the entire 90 feet or so to the ground.  Apparently gravity worked a little differently on the prime than it did on Mt. Celestia. If it was possible for a lion to express a look of shock and embarassment, that was it.

Unfortunately Wulf missed it. The bat-creatures weren't remotely out of the fight. They dropped their bows and came at him with huge hooked staffs, not to mention their enormous fangs. They towered over him, their maws full of teeth, and the wounds caused by their vicious bites bled profusely. Worse still, Wulf could tell from their fighting style that they were skilled warriors. They were able to strike him two or three times each, despite his best defenses. Fortunately, with Keldas providing additional firepower, he dropped another of his foes. Wulf was breathing heavily and bleeding profusely, and took a moment to sneak a peek at the western ledge. 

Despite the best efforts of Dorn, Shorty, and the paladin, they'd only dropped one. The remaining three bat-creatures had their bows drawn, arrows trained on Wulf. He cursed his charismatic presence and impressive fighting prowess and exchanged a look with Keldas. _I'll never survive this. So long._

Three arrows struck home with incredible force, one even striking a vital spot.

*
DM: Three hits. One crit.
Wulf: This is bad, guys. Real bad. 
Dorn: How many hp's you have left?
Wulf: It's bad. Not many. [37]
DM: [roll, roll, roll... roll, roll... adding... adding...] THIRTY SIX!
Wulf: tee hee!
*

Though literally hanging on by a hair's breadth, Wulf launched himself onto his last opponent with unbridled fury, while Keldas, Dorn, and Shorty unleashed holy hell on the western ledge. Just like that, their enemies were all slain, and the danger, it seemed, was past.

Wulf flew down to Dorn as fast as his wings could carry him. "Heal please!"

Dorn grabbed the _Wand of Cure Light Wounds_ from his belt. Wulf gripped his arm. "No, no. _HEAL_, please!"


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*DEEP HORIZON Part II*

Using the various wands of healing the party had stashed here and there, they were rapidly restored to health. Thanks to Dorn's _Heal_ spell Wulf was the first back on his feet to take stock of the situation. Keldas has discovered a secret door on the western ledge that led into a large cave where the bat-people had evidently made camp. Wulf directed the others to gather the bodies and the captive and retreat to the cave, while he did his best hide the evidence of their struggle.

Keldas had begun to interrogate the prisoner. After a tense moment where it made the mistake of addressing Keldas in undercommon, it switched to common, which it spoke surprisingly well. At least on the surface, the creature seemed happy and grateful to be rescued, though it endured a simultaneous interrogation from Wulf and Keldas-- with Keldas' inquisitive, scholarly questions being impatiently peppered with Wulf's short, staccato questions of a more pragmatic bent.

"What's yer name?"

"Viday."

"By what name is your race known?"

"We are the desmodu."

"Why yer fightin' yer buddies?"

"They caught me unawares. We are of differing factions, with opposed beliefs."

"So they do have a civilization...? What is the nature of these factions?"

"Desmodu are of three castes. Warriors, merchants, explorers. I am an explorer." Viday cupped the symbol that hung on a chain around his neck: three concave discs, arranged together like a clover. Keldas surmised that, to a bat, the symbol's odd shape would reflect sound, giving it a distinct "sonic silhouette."

Wulf retrieved the symbols from the fallen desmodu and passed one out to everyone.  "Aye... And these are warriors?" The symbol was like a figure eight lying in the bottom of a bowl.

"Correct."

"And why the disagreement?" Keldas pressed for more information.

"The desmodu are very powerful and the warriors most powerful of all. They believe that we can go to the surface and simply take what we need by force. The merchants would rather trade."

"And what of the explorers?"

"We are peaceful, but we believe that more information is required. It has been many years since we have travelled to the surface."

"Why now?"

"We have made contact with representatives of your people from the surface, led by a human named Rourmed and an elf called Engram. They wish to open up trade with our city."

"Yer got a whole city down here?"

"Just beyond the ruined drow city. I would be happy to take you there, but... the way is dangerous."

"Aye? How's that?"

"There are beholders in the ruins, as well as many desmodu warriors who work with them. They prowl the ruins seeking the buried treasures of the drow."

"How long before more warriors come this way?"

"I do not know; I doubt they will."

"An' that screech thing yer buddies did to the assmar... Yer can do that at will?"

"No. Perhaps once a day."

"Can yer fly?"

"No. We train giant bats to carry us. We have grown too large for wings."

"Ach, well, yer still hit like a bunch of nancies. Where's all yer bats, then?"

"I don't know. I believe this group was part of a patrol brought here by others, and left as a guard post."

"Well, I'm up for a visit to a new civilization and a ruined drow city," said Keldas. "Anybody have a problem with beholders?"

Shorty was the first to raise his hand-- but not the last.

"Great. Let's camp here and rest, recover our spells, and head for Chael Rendaar tomorrow."

--------------------

They were greeted the next morning by a small patrol of surly dwarves. They were led-- against their better judgement, it seemed-- by a huge, brown-skinned human. His fire-scarred features, obviously the result of more than mere forge-fire, were hidden behind a thick black beard to rival that of any dwarf. He was Bala Saka, a foundling raised by dwarves. His kinship to Wulf, in spirit at least, was evident: bandoliers of daggers crisscrossed his chest, javelins sprouted awkwardly from a quiver on his back, and a glaive was draped in a sling over his shoulder. He bristled with weapons but seemed most confident with the iron-shod quarterstaff that supported his stooping frame. From beneath his bronze, wide-brimmed conquistador's helmet, he grunted a greeting to Wulf.

"Where we off to?"

"Drow city full of beholders."

"All right then." Bala Saka jerked his thumb to the dwarf patrol. "You can go."

Loyal stepped forward, his bow unstrung, his eyes downcast. "I'm going back, too. I've had enough."

Shorty said nothing, obviously intending to stay, so Wulf spoke up to break the awkward silence. "Suit yerself." He nodded to the dwarves. "Yer lot can take care of the elf, right?"

And with that, they parted ways.

"Yer got some stones on yer, peck."

--------------------

The party moved on to Chael Rendaar. Somewhat emboldened by Bala Saka's presence, Wulf once again agreed to move out in advance of the group. As the passages turned to open caverns, Wulf knew that they were approaching the city. He waited patiently for the group to join him.

"Gonna head round to the left, through that suspicious lookin' slew o' rubble there. Keep yer eyes open."

Keldas went one step further. He cast _Fly_ on himself and flew up into the cavern, hovering above the group but positioned so that he could see around a huge mound of volcanic rock that loomed in front of them. The rest of the group hid behind a low wall of rock and waited nervously.

Now fully on his guard, Wulf crept forward, but even with his _darkvision_ he didn't see the desmodu coming. Four of them swept out of the darkness on their mounts. Wulf's instincts kicked in and he defended himself as best he could against their lances and the snapping teeth of their giant bats. Three of them stopped to surround him and the fourth circled wide around the volcanic outcropping.

Wulf raised the alarm and the rest of the group scrambled clumsily over the wall to run to his aid. The paladin was the first to join him, and none too soon. Wulf had stood toe-to-toe for several desperate moments and the desmodu were already driving him back towards Dorn. Bala Saka stepped up behind the paladin with his glaive, forcing the desmodu back. Shorty was _hasted_ and levitated behind the wall, firing off _snowball swarms_ as fast as he could call them up. The spell was sized perfectly to catch the enormous desmodu in its blast without endangering any of his friends. 

Dorn was still slipping and scrabbling through the rubble when Wulf caught up to him. Dorn sighed and cast _Heal_ once again. The two dwarves supported each other as they turned and dashed through the rubble and back into the fray, screaming their battle cries. _Taranak_ was ablaze and _Syrius_, Dorn's holy great-axe, was thirsty for righteous slaughter.

Keldas had wasted no time pursuing the fourth desmodu. In short order he'd slain its mount, and the desmodu spilled to the ground. Keldas watched as the bat-creature stooped low to the ground and began running on all fours, back into the ruins, where it no doubt hoped to warn its fellows. With passionless calculation, Keldas summoned a dire bear directly into its path and, his job done, turned to assist the rest of the group.

His help arrived unneeded as Bala Saka, Dorn, Wulf, the paladin, Shorty, and even Viday were more than three desmodu and three giant bats could handle.

Unfortunately, the dire bear had failed in its attempt to bring down the straggler. Heedless of danger, the desmodu turned its back and risked a flat-out run. The bear attempted to crush him and hold him beneath its massive paw, but the desmodu escaped-- severely ravaged, but free nonetheless. The bear was too slow to catch him, though it pursued him nonetheless. 

Whatever reinforcements the desmodu had roused, the dire bear _did not return._

A light had appeared in the distance of the ruins, and grew steadily as it approached. Dorn, Alliane, and the paladin worked feverishly to repair the party with their wands before more enemies arrived, while the fighters spread out into fighting formation. Wulf stuck close to Bala Saka, Alliane and Dorn not far behind them. Keldas and Karak moved out on their left flank.

No one noticed that Shorty was alone on their right flank, hiding in a pile of rubble. 

The first thing to hit them was the anti-magic, and the knowledge of what they would soon face, coming as it did with the sinking feeling as their magic left them, was no consolation. A pair of trolls swaggered around a volcanic chunk and came loping at the party-- too stupid to realize why the group of adventurers seemed to look right through them, utterly unconcerned with their presence. The group was far more interested in winkling out the beholder.

With no spells, no wings, no _boots of striding and springing_, it was a mad dash. Keldas and the paladin sprinted off to the left, hoping to escape the cone-shaped effect of the beholder's anti-magic. Dorn did much the same-- or attempted to. In less dire circumstances the sight of the stubby dwarf, veritably entombed in his full plate armor, attempting a flat out run across shifting rubble, would almost have been humorous. Wulf and Bala Saka drew their weapons and charged the trolls-- though fully intending to charge past them, consequences be damned, if the opportunity to close with the beholder presented itself. Alliane kept pace with them just to their right, and when the trolls veered off to close with the elf maiden, Wulf had no choice but to draw up short and go to her aid. 

Bala Saka sprinted on through the anti-magic cone, like a salmon instinctively running up river to its source.

Then the desmodu struck, swooping out of the sky on their giant bats. Two of them descended on Shorty, who could not hide from their _blindsight_. The first desmodu struck him as it flew past, and the second buried its lance deep in his chest. The halfling squirmed piteously on the end of the lance, realizing too late that his _Amulet of Health_ had failed him under the anti-magic gaze. Wounds that would ordinarily have been mere scratches opened up into deep gashes; and the most severe of wounds-- the tip of the lance-- turned to a mortal blow. In that brief instant of dread realization, Shorty was deader than dead.

As if on cue, the beholder's bloated form finally loomed into view, wobbling in midair in a most ungainly fashion. Its huge central eye was still fixed down the center of the cavern, but it had erred: It was too close. The arc of its anti-magic cone had narrowed near its source so that the party could-- with a bit of desperate effort-- spread out wide enough to avoid it.

Keldas and Karak ran as fast as they could to the left. As soon as he cleared the anti-magic ray, Karak spoke the celestial command word and unfurled his _wings of flying_. Half-running, half-hopping, like a wounded albatross, he sailed across the cavern and threw himself flat, face-first behind a pile of rubble.

Keldas, on the other hand, was fearless. His _fly_ spell was still active, and he sailed along above the paladin until he was hovering just a few feet over the rubble. It was no use, he reasoned, to dive for cover. If the beholder couldn't see him, then he couldn't see the beholder-- and he'd need line of sight for what he had in mind.

It seemed Keldas had a whole new bag of tricks.

Eldritch power coruscated up and down the length of Keldas' arm, building like the headwaters of a flood as it flowed to his outstretched hand. A bright green ray burst from his fingertip and lanced towards the beholder, striking it solidly in the side. Keldas smiled. "One _disintegrate_ ray, one less beholder..."

At least, that was how it worked in theory. In reality, the gaseous bulk of the beholder shuddered and shimmied for a brief moment before returning to normal. Three of its smaller eyes telescoped around to face Keldas and the beholder responded in triplicate: _disintegrate, flesh to stone_, and _finger of death_.

Not something a frail elven wizard wanted to deal with, even on his best day. Fortunately, Dorn had protected the group with _Haela's Touch_, and Keldas the elf freely called on the goddess of dwarven luck to save his hide. He'd wisely prepared himself in advance with the best cloaks, rings, and amulets he could craft. It was enough-- barely. 

But now his luck was spent. She could poke and prod at the fabric of reality, twisting things a bit in their favor once or twice, but there was only so much that the goddess Haela Brightaxe was willing to do-- for an elf or otherwise.

Dorn was still trying to clamber over the ruined terrain to extract himself from the anti-magic ray. Just as he was about to finally clear the area of effect, the desmodu struck again. Shorty's assailants had returned aloft to join two more warriors, and the newly formed phalanx of aerial cavalry swept down en masse to surround the unlucky priest.

"Well, luck ain't everything..." Dorn unshouldered his huge greataxe and defended himself as best he could. The desmodu struck first with their lances, sending blood fountaining from the gaps in Dorn's armor to splatter into the eager, gaping maws of their mounts, driving them into greater depths of blood-frenzy. Dorn staggered back and realized that the desmodu had arrayed themselves in a wide arc around him to cut him off from the rest of his allies.

Dorn was no coward, but he knew that without magic, and alone, he was no match for the desmodu. He sidestepped out of the anti-magic cone and howled with glee as he felt _Syrius_ ripen to full enchantment-- along with his armor, helm, and other protections-- and most importantly, he noted the return of his _persistent divine might_. Dorn felt the joy that only a priest can know: the eye of his goddess was upon him.

And then it struck him: Soon enough it would be the _beholder's_ eye upon him once again, and he'd be right back in the crapper. "Ferka-buncha-THIS!" 

With one eye on the desmodu and one eye on the beholder, with _Syrius_ in one hand keeping his enemies at arm's length, Dorn concentrated on his free hand-- and on correctly forming the gestures that would complete the spell that he hoped would turn the battle.

"Haela SMITE thee!" Dorn whirled _Syrius_ around to point at the beholder, his great-axe acting as the divine focus to enact the spell. The air crackled and the heavens split, and a column of fire roared down, engulfing the beholder in a booming conflagration of holy whup-ass.

It did not die-- though its pain and anger was clearly written across its... face-like front arc. Its great central eye swept over Dorn, seeking the cause of its misery. Once again, all his strength and protection flew from him like shadows before the dawn, and Dorn turned to greet the pitiless desmodu, his own imminent death reflected in their dark, glittering orbs.

Dorn shouted desperately for help, but those most able to assist with the desmodu-- Wulf and Bala Saka-- were busy trying to hack their way to the beholder. 

Finally, Karak was spurred to action. He stood up from behind the rubble, pulled the biggest bead he could find from his _necklace of missiles_, and flicked it with expert precision towards the beholder. A huge fireball exploded in an airburst behind the creature, and it finally collapsed lifeless to the ground.

As wounded as he was, however, Dorn had little hope of withstanding the desmodu attack. Keldas turned his attention from the beholder to assess Dorn's situation. The little dwarf had backed away from the desmodu somewhat, but from his position at the vanguard of the battlefield it would be impossible for Keldas to use his _acid breath_ without catching Dorn in the blast. (He'd pulled that trick before, against the gorillons in Nightfang Spire, and Dorn had been none too happy about it-- in fact, he still brought it up on a regular basis.) At any rate, a single blast of acid wasn't likely to take down a desmodu warrior.

Now _hasted_, Keldas flew parallel to Dorn's melee and belched forth a pungent, roiling mass of gastric juices, carefully avoiding Dorn yet thoroughly drenching the desmodu at the back. As expected, it was not enough.

"Why not?" Keldas mused. "What works for the aasimar works for me..." 

And with that, Keldas cast a second spell and let fly with a _fireball_ of his own. The noise, the heat, the impact of the blast, filled the air and rebounded from the walls of the cavern. Yet it wasn't for that reason that it was the most attention-grabbing spell Wulf had ever witnessed.

"Yer dirty elven sonofabitch!" Wulf furiously chopped his way through the last of the trolls, dropping them to the ground and leaving Alliane  to finish them off with a bit of flame. Gobbets of troll-flesh still sizzled along the length of _Taranak's_ blade as Wulf dashed to Dorn's aid. Bala Saka was right behind him, pitching in against the fire-blasted desmodu, yet all the while trying to figure out why Wulf punctuated every blow with a string of expletives aimed at the elf.

"All this time... all this time... Yer bastard! Holdin' back! _Transmuter_? HA! Yer can bet yer pansy ass I'll be takin' a good look at yer ferkin' spellbook!"

Alliane stepped quietly between them, holding Shorty's broken body, but the solemnity of the moment was lost on Wulf. He pointed his brown, stubby finger at Keldas. 

"NEVER TRUST AN ELF!"

"It's fortunate that the desmodu are as witless as you."

"Huh?"

"It was _shadow magic_, you dullard. An illusion."

"Oh, aye? Ahh... All right then." Wulf quickly changed the subject. "Oooh... Shorty's looked better..."

Alliane spoke again, hiding her emotions behind her usual matter-of-fact demeanor. "I suggest we retreat to the Forge."

And so it was decided. They returned up the long cavern highway the way they had come. Ere long they were returned safely home, to hand Shorty over to Diessa and the other dwarven acolytes. They would prepare the body for the Old Man to work his miracles.

"None too soon, neither. Little peck was mungin' a bit."

In the meantime, the Old Man was quite interested to speak with Viday, the first desmodu representative to make contact with the dwarves. Viday explained a bit more of their history, which in turn shed additional light on their current situation. The desmodu had allied themselves with salamanders who had come from the Elemental Plane of Fire to establish an outpost in the material realm. It was unclear the extent to which the salamanders were involved, but Chael Rendaar had been destroyed by diverting a flow of lava into their cavern-- the drow were annihilated by the unexpected eruption, and many of the riches of the city were still there, preserved under a shell of volcanic ash. 

"That explains the beholders in the city, I reckon. Lookin' for arcane knick-knacks."

"Perhaps," said Viday, "but that alone doesn't explain why the desmodu warriors would ally with the Eye Tyrants. Our warriors are mercenaries, yes, but surely there is something else, something more there to tempt them. Useless arcane objects and mere mercenary's pay do not match the ambitions of our warrior caste."

It would take some time to restore Shorty, but in the meantime the rest of the group was eager to return, and there were preparations to be made. While Keldas checked in with his apprentices and scribed another spell or two, the paladin used his helm again to nip off on one of his holy shopping sprees. Wulf headed down the mountain to the nearby town, and returned with supplies-- lots of supplies.

"Got me an assload of rope, rations, spikes, stakes, caltrops, chalk, holy water, spare slings, lead bullets... yer name it."

"How do you intend to carry all that?"

"Bought me a _Heward's Handy Haversack_." Wulf patted the new bag over his shoulder. "Nifty little bastard."

Bala Saka spoke grimly and nodded towards the next room where Shorty's corpse lay at rest. "You shoulda bought a Heward's Handy _Bodybag_."

The group chuckled, though it was a dark humour. The Old Man looked on and frowned.

"True enough. Those beholders are no fun." Wulf pointed at Karak. "Brace yerself, assmar. From now on, yer on 'beholder detail.' Yer got the favor of the gods, and the best shot at resistin' all their unpleasantness. Yer number one priority is just to get up there and take 'em out."

Karak put on a brave face. "Well... All right. I guess that makes sense." He smiled a bit. "I can't do worse than Shorty."

The Old Man pointed a finger at him. "You of all people should not be so callously indifferent to danger... and death. If you die, I am powerless to help."

"Wh... What do you mean?"

"Your soul _belongs_ in Celestia. I cannot ask Moradin to intervene on your behalf."

"Uhhh... What _exactly_ are you saying?"

"Do you know nothing of your kind?" The Old Man sighed. "It is impossible to _ressurect_ an aasimar."

"WHAT!?" Karak reeled in horror.

Wulf and Dorn exchanged a brief glance and burst out laughing.

"Bwahahahahahaha! Oh, that's good!" Dorn laughed bitterly through his beard.

"Not so great slummin' around with us mere mortals now, is it?" Wulf had to lean on Dorn for support, his kness were shaking so hard with laughter. "Poor assmar!"

Wulf looked up and even Keldas was smirking, ever so slightly. 

"It's not funny!" shouted the paladin. "You take humor in my misery?"

It was enough to send Wulf into fits again. He pounded his fists together and tears welled up in his eyes. "Ach, stop! Yer too much! Really!"

Wulf finally managed to compose himself. "But just so yer know, this doesn't change things. Yer... heh heh... yer still on 'beholder detail.'


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*DEEP HORIZON Part III*

Leaving Shorty behind, the party returned once again to Chael Rendaar. Here and there throughout the dark cavern, lights flickered, belying some foul activity on the part of the eye-kin and their allies. Three areas in particular seemed particularly well-lit, though they were far off in the huge cavern.

Wulf shrugged. "Head for the closest one?" 

The group nodded. Wulf looked over at Viday. "Keep yer ears open and let me know if yer see anything."

The party spread out somewhat and moved cautiously towards the light. Wulf stopped a few hundred yards away. They still couldn't see what lay ahead. He dug at his belt, grabbed the _bag of tricks_, and tossed a leathery, prickly furball onto the ground. In moments it grew to full size: It was a wild boar. It grunted once and waited for Wulf's command. 

"Run on up there, check it out, then come back and report." The boar squealed in protest, but trotted off into the darkness nevertheless. Wulf called after it and gave it the thumbs up. "No worries!" 

Unfortunately, one brief squeal from far ahead was the only report they received. Keldas frowned at Wulf. "No surprise, there."

"Aye..." Wulf patted the _bag of tricks_ and grinned. It was almost better than fireworks. "Wanna do another?"

"Time for you to scout ahead again, I think."

Wulf grabbed Viday and together they moved forward. As they approached, Viday stopped him with a warning. "Something just flew overhead... Something large."

"Pfft, they already knew we were here. Let's keep goin' an' press our luck."

Eventually they came into the light. A pair of desmodu were guarding a trio of trolls and a pair of kuo-toa. The weather-beaten slaves were chipping away at a mound of volcanic rock. The rest of the group fell in line behind Wulf and Viday, but as they approached, the desmodu spoke up. They spoke undercommon, but Wulf understood them without too much difficulty. "_Good timing. These the new slaves? Put them to work so these can rest, then send them over to the other excavation. The eyes are in a hurry._"

With a bit of nodding, diplomacy, and skillful bluffing, the party found themselves alone at an excavation dig, with a group of slaves under their control. The trolls and kuo-toa stood around shuffling impatiently, clearly waiting for orders. Wulf could hear Karak whispering in the back of the group: "_... not working with evil creatures... put them out of their misery..._"

Wulf stepped in to take control. "All right yer lot, take a load off." He pointed to the wall and the slaves gladly slumped to the ground, their backs against the stone. "Whatcha diggin' for, hmm?"

The kuo-toa were either too tired to answer, or the trolls had taken charge of the slave group, which suited Wulf just fine. Kuo-toa could be wily; trolls, on the other hand, were too stupid to be clever. Sure enough, one of the trolls spoke up, "Black metal."

Wulf tried hard to hide his excitement, so he squatted down. He spoke to the troll in a more conspiratorial fashion. "That right? Inside that rock there?" His thumb jerked back over his shoulder and his hand shook nervously.

"Yah. Drow stuff."

Wulf called Dorn over. "Adamantine in the rock. Must be preserved in the lava flow from when the drow were livin' here."

Wulf stood and joined Keldas and Karak. The paladin was still blabbering away. "...see how it serves the greater good to sully ourselves with..."

"Shut up, assmar. Keldas, troll says there's adamantine in the rock. Any way yer can check it out?"

Keldas' eyebrow raised ever so slightly. Obviously, he was as excited as Wulf. "Absolutely." He cast a spell and assumed a wispy _ghost form_, then disappeared into the rock. 

Moments later he appeared again.

"Oh, yes. Several lumps of it, suspended in the lava. It is melted and deformed somewhat, but it looks like it might once have been longswords-- or at least something of similar size."

"Why didn't yer bring any out?"

"Well, I can't pick anything up in _ghost form_, of course. But I could always _polymorph_ and bring out the umber hulk."

"Yer reckon an umber hulk can dig through volcanic rock?"

Keldas was already changing form, but it was not too late for him to answer smugly,  "Pfft... I eat that sh*t for lunch."

For once, Wulf looked truly astounded with Keldas' abilities. "Yer eat sh*t for lunch?"

Keldas flexed his huge claws and dove into the mound of volcanic rock. From inside he could tell that the mound was a drow building of some sort-- although nothing was so well preserved that he could make any sense of what he was seeing. The lava had destroyed everything, but he was able to come up with several good-sized chunks of adamantine, melted lumps that might once have been weapons.

After an hour of searching, Keldas stopped. "How long do you intend me to keep looking?"

Wulf answered abrubtly. "Until you have it all."

"Or until we're found out," cautioned Alliane. Viday nodded. From time to time he gave a start, indicating that something had flown overhead.

Time ticked away, but Wulf was in no hurry. Even after two hours, Keldas kept digging, eventually moving on from one building to another nearby one.

The kuo-toa shifted nervously, muttering together. It didn't help that the paladin continued to glare murderously at them. Wulf stepped in to interecede. "Gogglers dryin' out?" He fished some holy water out of his pack and gave a flask to each. They quickly used the water to refresh their rubbery skin, but it seemed little consolation. 

"Yer hungry?" The trolls nodded vigorously. Wulf pulled a furball out of his _bag of tricks_ and tossed it at their feet. There wasn't even enough time to tell what it was before they had ripped it to shreds and devoured it.

After three hours Keldas had exhumed every scrap of adamantine he could find from two building-sized chunks of rock. All told Wulf reckoned they had enough to make about fifteen longswords-- or some other combination. Wulf caressed a single black chunk of the heavy meteoric stone. The market value of it all was probably close to 70,000 gold pieces.

"Well…" he said, "We might as well head off and finish off the beholders. We'll be wantin' to come back down here with a crew o' dwarves and get the rest-- when it's safe."

He had barely finished his thought before the entire group felt that familiar sinking sensation-- their magic items were suddenly nullified. There was a beholder about.

From somewhere above them, a desmodu spoke. "Leave the slaves and the adamantine and you may leave."

Wulf thought fast. _Diplomacy._ "We'll pay yer for it!" He was really just stalling for time. The group kept moving, spreading out a little bit around a tall wedge of rock. Most of the group moved off to the left, leaving Keldas, Wulf, Viday, and two miserable kuo-toa to hold the right flank. Bala Saka advanced close behind the trolls, intending to use them as cover from any unpleasant death rays that might suddenly lance out of the darkness. Wulf did the same with the kuo-toa.

The desmodu shouted a terse reply. "Seventy-five thousand!"

"Wait a second… how do yer even know how much we're carryin'?" Wulf pressed his advantage. "Come on down and total it up, haggle a bit."

The desmodu seemed flustered. "Leave the slaves, the adamantine, and all your possessions-- and you can leave with your lives!"

"Ach, right. I gather yer new to this hagglin' business." He gripped _Taranak_ and tried to ignite the flames, with no success. He was still inside the anti-magic cone. "Either way, yer want it, yer gonna have to come down and try to take it."

So try they did. Arrows rained out of the darkness, spurring the party to action. True to his duty, the paladin started sprinting straight ahead into the darkness. When he left the anti-magic cone, he'd correct his path and veer right back inside. The range of the beholder's central eye was quite long, but in just a couple of rounds the paladin should reach the terminus.

Bala Saka would have joined him, but he was busy with the three trolls. As Bala Saka staggered under several arrow wounds from the desmodu, the ungrateful slaves turned on him. Filthy claws ripped into him, rending apart armor and flesh with equal ease. Bala Saka staggered back, nearly dead.

"Bastards!" Dorn brandished _Syrius_ and charged to Bala Saka's aid. "Hold fast, there!"

Meanwhile Keldas took off at a flat-out run, trying to escape the anti-magic. Unlike the trolls, the kuo-toa sank to the ground in uncontrollable fear. Wulf wrote them off as harmless and sprinted after Keldas, bellowing, "Can't protect yer if yer outrun me, goddamit!"

Despite Dorn's aid, Bala Saka was fading fast. He drew his glaive and scored several powerful blows against the trolls, then stepped back to let Dorn protect him. The stout dwarf interposed himself between the trolls and Bala Saka, but the foul beasts merely stepped forward and reached over him to strike the human warrior. Fortunately, the dwarf provided some cover, preventing the trolls from getting another rending grip on Bala Saka.

Even so, Bala Saka once again staggered back several feet to escape the grasp of the trolls. Dropping his glaive, his hands moved back and forth over his shoulders in a blur of motion. Dorn realized that, like some sort of crazed circus juggler-- a crazed circus juggler of DEATH!-- Bala Saka had drawn and thrown five javelins in rapid succession. All five javelins struck the troll with frightening precision. The first of the trolls dropped to the ground. Dorn took two swings to hack the legs out from under another one. Two down, one to go.

Alliane had used the distraction of melee to be the first to escape the anti-magic. She'd run almost tangent to the rest of the party, and soon enough she felt the anti-magic fall away. Moving unnoticed from building to building, she sprinted off after the paladin, hoping to give what aid she could.

On the complete opposite side of the cone, Keldas and Wulf also sprinted towards the beholder, scouting out the fringes of the area of effect, shouting back and forth with the paladin and helping to steer everyone to the beholder. Eventually they found it, floating about twenty feet off the cavern floor. The paladin ran straight forward until he squeaked under the arc of the cone, the let fly with the first blast from his necklace of missiles. Alliane was right behind him, throwing caution to the wind to strike it with a _searing light_.

Bala Saka was about to learn a lesson on the tenacity of trolls. The first fallen troll had regenerated and, though Dorn still stood menacingly over it, the battle-torn troll ignored the dwarf to drag its shredded remains forward to _once again_ claw feebly at the legs of Bala Saka! Cursing loudly, Bala Saka finally fell unconscious, though not before seeing the dwarf drop the last of the trolls. Dorn immediately started scrambling to douse the remains in burning oil.

A hundred feet ahead in the darkness, both Karak and Alliane found themselves unprotected, outside the anti-magic cone. Though she was the easier target, the beholder ignored the elf priestess and fired its three most deadly rays at the paladin. Quite predictably-- though only with a bit of  divine luck-- he survived all three. It was folly to try to destroy the paladin with any magic that he could resist.

The beholder's strategy became clear, however, when a desmodu warrior charged out of the sky to strike Alliane solidly with his lance. Keldas and Wulf arrived just in time to see her bravely withstand the first attack. Keldas dropped the beholder with a spell, while Wulf dashed up directly behind the desmodu to flank it. 

Seeing their anti-magic benefactor fall, and with an angry wizard and dwarven rogue at their flanks, the desmodu wisely retreated, wheeling off into the darkness to warn their fellows.

They regrouped to count heads and see if they’d lost anybody, but they’d come through unscathed, for the most part. Dorn touched Bala Saka with a _heal_ spell and the rest of the party was restored quickly using their wands. Without further discussion they moved off towards the next beacon of light.

All was quiet as they neared the light and a huge structure took shape from the darkness. It was the largest building they had seen yet, several stories tall, more like a tower, and from top to bottom large portions of it had been unearthed and restored. Judging from the spider sculptures that crawled across the surface of the partially-exposed dome, there was no doubt among any of them that they were looking at a former temple to Llolth. A wide set of stairs led up into the temple. 

“This ought to be fun…” Wulf said. He liked his odds inside the limited confines of a building-- at least he wouldn’t have to worry about desmodu dive-bombing him from the darkness. “I’ll go up and check it out.”

Only one thing nagged at him: he wasn’t entirely sure that, even inside, the desmodu wouldn’t “see” him sneaking around. If they sensed things by echolocation, they might even be able to “ping” him around corners and such. “Ferkit… Tired of pussyin’ around. Let’s see what they got.”

Wulf approached the wide steps first, but he kept slightly off to the right hand side so as to avoid the dark gaze of the narrow windows and arrowslits that peppered the face of the edifice. He had no sense that anything was watching him, and the conspicuous absence of his normal paranoia made him, suddenly, all the more paranoid. It was fortunate that he approached from the side, for he was able to spy a low ramp that led into the mound of rock, off to the side of the unearthed steps. Wulf reckoned the side entrance was safer than waltzing up the front steps, so he moved in, taking great care to move slowly and press his body into whatever natural cracks and crevasses he could find. The rest of the party watched from a nearby building as Wulf disappeared into the rock, following the ramp as it sloped slightly upwards. 

The ramp curled around and made a left turn, opening onto a wide flat platform that formed the first floor of the temple. Wulf surmised that he’d moved up about as far as the steps would have elevated him, and a quick glance back to his left confirmed his intuition. The great doors of the temple stood open and he could see the steps leading down. 

Wulf skulked about at the head of the ramp, not quite ready to risk entering the temple proper. Off to his right, directly across from the steps, were two great double-doors, no doubt leading to the inner sanctum. Not far ahead of the doors, on the “north” end of the room, there was a hole in the ground where a circular staircase cork-screwed into the depths. There were stairs above the hole, too-- of a sort. They led up onto a second floor, but there was little left of them but the scaffolding. Certainly no way to climb them; if you wanted up there, you’d need to fly.

Farther south, moving towards the entry steps, Wulf could see three small, open holes in the floor, each about 5 feet across. Wulf listened carefully from his spot in the shadows, and the sound of running water lured him out to inspect the holes further. Sure enough, there was a short drop through the holes into running water-- about the last thing Wulf had expected to see. He knew well enough to stay away from underground streams-- they never led anywhere pleasant. 

Wulf crossed the room and moved into the shadows on the other side. Several windows opened out onto the large first floor platform. Behind the windows Wulf could make out a large cavern-- presumably an unrecovered part of the temple that was only partially dug out of the rock. With the exception of a few small islands of rock, it was completely filled with water. Wulf could hear and feel the water flowing under his feet. _It must join up with the water under those holes; and then it’s off to who-knows-where._

Wulf moved to the head of the steps and down them, checking for traps as he descended. He beckoned the party to join him at the bottom of the steps and they entered the temple in force.

Just as they were about to cross the platform into the inner fane, the double doors opened and the welcoming party issued forth. Three mighty desmodu warriors moved around the staircase to intercept them. Behind them, a group of about a dozen kuo-toa, lizardmen, and three more desmodu spread out to guard the double doors. From a beholder as yet unseen, anti-magic washed over the party, and the head warrior spoke.

"Do you return to assault us?" It was clear the desmodu would prefer to parlay.

"Well, no..." Wulf started. "Not necessarily. What yer got in mind?"

"We wish only to retrieve the adamantine from the city."

"I got a better idea. How 'bout yer let my dwarves retrieve the ore? We'll gladly do all the smithin' yer need. Can't do better'n that!"

Keldas tapped Wulf on the shoulder and leaned close to whisper in his ear. "Wulf, they got friggin' _salamanders_." 

Wulf ignored the insult and shooed away the intrusion. "Not now, I'm diplomattin'."

"We can handle it ourselves." The desmodu were calm, confident. Wulf decided to shake things up a bit.

"Well, I got a bit of a problem with yer taking adamantine offa _my_ territory." He hooked one thumb in his belt and pounded the other proudly into his chest. "Not to mention the fact that yer picked yerself the wrong allies. Why yer want to ally yerself with evil trolls, evil beholders, an'..." 

Wulf looked over at Keldas and whispered. "Salamanders evil or what?" Keldas shrugged. Dorn shrugged. Finally, Wulf shrugged.

"...an' evil salamanders? Can't trust 'em. But dwarves... Yer can count on dwarves to do yer right."

"The eye tyrants are powerful allies, and even more dangerous as foes, as you well know."

"Pfft. If yer say so..." Out of the corner of his eye, Wulf looked at Dorn and Keldas. They nodded. "Well... ach... right!"

The party sprang into action. Wulf and Keldas were the first to go, and together they dashed into the room, sure that they could escape to the nearby edges of the anti-magic cone. Sure enough, as soon as he cleared the doorway, he veered hard to the right and felt his magic return.

Unfortunately, their enemies were also ready for action. The beholder floated down from the shattered staircase, revealing itself at last. Once again, its three most dangerous rays lanced out. With _Haela's Blessing_ he was able to resist the _finger of death_, and the _flesh to stone_, but suddenly all luck was extinguished: the _disintegrate_ completely overpowered him. Motes of dust billowed out as his cloak suddenly collapsed to the ground. The faint tinkling of bells seemed to emanate from under the folded cloth as two rings hit the hard stone floor. That was it. All that had survived was his cloak, and two rings.

Wulf quickly brought himself up short, having wisely decided that he was better off in the anti-magic after all. The beholder floated behind the desmodu, and Wulf-- having no desire to go toe to toe with the warriors-- resorted to the thick longbow that adorned his shoulder. Wulf strained hard at the bowstring without his _belt of strength_, and the bow moaned in protest at being called into service after so long at rest. Nevertheless, Wulf managed to plug three solid shots at point blank range, directly into the thick hide of the beholder.

Karak’s reaction to Keldas’ obliteration was the lesser part of valor: With an unsettling disregard for his own safety, he hauled his sword whistling out of its scabbard and dashed up toe to toe with the head desmodu warrior. His charge smote the hairy beast like the fist of Tyr himself— but it was not enough. The three desmodu scowled wickedly down at him and drew their hooked weapons.

The beholder was less sure of its position. It retreated to the back of the room, floating over the heads of its allies until it came to rest behind a veritable wall of slave-flesh. Almost instinctively the lizardmen near the back moved to protect the beholder as it focused its central eye onto the party once again. This time, the abberation turned nearly sideways, so that the unseen edge of its anti-magic cone neatly divided the party into two halves: Wulf and Bala Saka were outside the cone, while the rest of the party— the spellcasters— were still inside the suppression area.

Three tiny, sinous stalks focused themselves towards Wulf and Bala Saka. Wulf could not identify the beams that struck him. He closed one eye and winced as the effect washed over him and dissipated harmlessly— he felt sure that it was only his non-magical dwarven nature that had saved him.

Though he had spent many years among the dwarves, Bala Saka did not share their magical resistance. A beam struck him and the look of determination on his face turned to one of sheer horror. Before anyone could stop him or intercede, Bala Saka turned on his heels and dashed out of the room as fast as his feet could carry him. The last anyone saw of him, he was bounding down the temple steps and running off into the darkness alone.

It was a gamble on the beholder’s part that did not pay off. Dorn sidestepped into the clear and brought down a devastating _flame strike_ that roasted the beholder— and blasted the lizardmen slaves around him to smoking splinders. Alliane followed suit, moving over near to where Keldas had stood moments before. A _searing light_ jumped from the palm of her hand and the beholder fell to the ground like a bad haggis.

The group cheered, but the celebration was short-lived. The three desmodu sliced into the paladin with unerring fury. His defenses were overwhelmed and in mere seconds he lay bleeding on the ground— dying, though not quite dead.

Wulf took some consolation in the fact that with the beholder out of commission, they might be able to heal the paladin in time to save him, but he had to admit that the situation was pretty grim— and at any rate, Dorn had other plans. 

The dwarven priest once again started casting. “Clear out, _blade barrier_ on the way…”

Viday spoke up from the back of the group. “But you’ll catch the slaves! There are innocent desmodu back there!”

Dorn would hear none of it and shouted Viday down with uncharacteristic ire. “In case you didn’t _notice_, we’re down half the party and the mage is disintegrated, so f--- ‘em!” And with that, a host of great axes appeared, shredding the innocent and the evil alike. Dorn had placed the _barrier_ so that the edge of its effect stopped with the desmodu warriors. The paladin’s body lay just outside the whirling maelstrom.

Everything near the back of the room was chopped to pieces, as the effect filled nearly the entire inner fane. The three desmodu warriors near the front simply stepped forward out of the area of effect. Two of the warriors moved up to engage Wulf and Dorn, but their leader hesitated for a moment. Stooping over the body of the dying paladin, he grabbed him by the ankle and nonchalantly tossed him over his shoulder. 

Into the _blade barrier_.

Dorn moved closer to Alliane, carefully eyeing the three remaining desmodu warriors to see if you could line them all up underneath a single _flame strike_. Before he could even begin casting, however, Viday stepped up behind him and sliced his hook-staff across Dorn's back-- just once, but it was a deep cut.

Dorn spewed forth a stream of obscenities but it was Wulf, for a change, who kept a cool head. 

"I don't want to kill yer, and yer don't wanna die." Wulf dropped his bow and drew his axe and dagger, stepping closer to Viday. "Help us finish off these warriors and we'll let Haela sort yer friends out afterwards." He'd lined himself up into flanking position, moving one of the warriors between himself and Dorn. To illustrate his point he hacked into the furry hide of the warrior, nearly killing him in a few short strokes.

Though Dorn wasn't laughing, Wulf actually found the whole thing a bit funny. Viday had stood idly, forgotten by everyone for most of the combat, only entering the fray to beat on the priest.

Dorn started casting his _flame strike_ and put one hand out to move Alliane back. She resisted, pushing back at him to hold her ground. "Careful! You'll blow what's left of Kheldas to the four winds!" Alliane spread her skirts around the dusty pile of remains that was once her cousin. "Keep it well away!"

Dorn cursed his luck, but he knew the she-elf was right. Completing the spell, he blasted it down onto the two farthest desmodu. He'd hoped to catch the one that Wulf had wounded, to finish it off, but it was not to be.

Wulf watched Viday out of the corner of his eye and seemed satisfied that the desmodu's anger had passed, and that he was no more harm to the party. He stepped away from Viday, leaving the wounded warrior for him to finish off. With Dorn and Alliane helping to flank the two remaining warriors, it was easy for Wulf to slip past their defenses and take them down.

All their enemies were slain and the only noise in the room was the sound of the blade barrier, still whirling away.

"We're leavin', right?" Wulf didn't expect any opposition to the notion. Alliane had already scooped up Keldas' remains and Dorn had dispelled his _blade barrier_ to retreive the paladin's belongings and a few gobbets of flesh. Wulf grabbed Viday and nodded towards his three fallen comrades-- the unfortunate explorers who'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Grab the bodies, let's go." Wulf, Dorn, and Viday each grabbed a mangled desmodu corpse and the group hustled for the exit. "Dorn, keep that _helm of teleportation_ handy, and if things go south, get us out of here."

"An' if that happens..." He poked Viday in the gut, knowing full well the helm could not teleport someone so large. "Yer on yer own, big fella."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*DEEP HORIZON Part IV*

“What about Bala Saka?” Dorn was already doing the math on how many miraculous resurrections he’d be helping with. 

Wulf just shrugged. “He’ll turn up… He can take care of himself.”

They hustled off into the darkness. There was no sign of Bala Saka or of any kind of pursuit. In due time, they returned safely to the forge. The Old Man took one look at their faces and prepared himself for the worst.

“What happened?”

“Keldas got himself disintegrated and the assmar went dancin’ with _La Machine_.”

“Well, I warned you before, I cannot raise the aasimar. It will take a _Wish_ or _Miracle_ to do that.”

Wulf slapped the _helm of teleportation_ on his head. “I’ll take care of it.”

“How do you intend to pay for that?” said the Old Man. “I myself will require about 8,000 for Keldas’ _true resurrection_.”

“YER CHARGIN’ US?”

“Well, yes,” said the Old Man, completely nonplussed. “Take a look around you. Raw materials, holy water, vestments, shrines… these things cost money. Not to mention the dwarven smiths we’ve been recruiting. They all have to get paid.”

“Fine, fine.” Wulf stuffed the rest of the paladin’s belongings in his _haversack_. Into the large center compartment he scooped what was left of the paladin’s body. “I _said_ I’ll handle it.”

Wulf teleported off to the big city. It would take a _wish_ to get the aasimar back, and wishes, it seemed, were not easy to come by. He couldn’t find a wizard at all who was willing to do the deed for less than 28,000 gold pieces—and he didn’t HAVE 28,000 gold pieces. Even if they pooled all the party’s resources, they couldn’t even come close.

He started taking items out of the bag and placing them on the table. “Stop me when yer see something that catches yer eye…”

“Stop!”

“The assmar’s cloak?” Wulf held it up at arm’s length. “What’s it do?”

“It has a powerful enchantment upon it, very powerful. Looks like a _cloak of charisma_.”

“_Charisma?_” Wulf tried hard to hide his disdain. _What in the nine hells would anyone want a cloak of charisma for?_ “Ohh… Aye, that’s a useful piece all right. Whatcha gimme for it?” 

“I can cast the _Wish_ you require.”

Wulf sniffed. “Oh, I don’t know. I mean, it’s _charisma_ and all.” He turned the item around in his hands. “Powerful magic, too. Gimme the _Wish_ an’ 8000 and yer got a deal.”

“Done.” The wizard absent-mindedly put eight large gems onto the table and Wulf deftly swept them into his pouch. 

The wizard seemed lost in thought for a moment, but finally spoke. “Now this _wish_… I suppose you’ll be wanting me to restore your paladin friend to full health, exactly as he was before?”

“Oh, no yer don’t.” Wulf had heard a thing or two about wishes, how they could be twisted around if they were not worded to avoid any wiggle-room in their interpretation. “Don’t muck around with it. Yer gotta be _precise,_ right? None o’ this ‘Exactly as he was before…’ business.”

“Of course, of course.” The wizard shooed him out. “The process will take a while, however; I’ll require seclusion for the day.”

“Aye, whatever.”

*****

Wulf returned that evening and the wizard welcomed him in, gesturing grandly towards the paladin who rested comfortably in the wizard’s lab. The paladin looked a little groggy, but otherwise he seemed perfectly healthy.

“As you requested… body and soul, reunited again. There was some… ahh, difficulty in repairing the body; fortunately I am well-versed in anatomy. I’ve never seen a more healthy human specimen.”

“Uhh…” _Oops._ Wulf moved quickly to change the subject. He threw one of the paladin’s arms over his shoulder and boosted him to his feet. “Up yer go, assmar. Let’s get yer home, right?”

“Mmm hmmm…" The paladin swooned a bit as they teleported back to the forge. "I feel funny…”

*****

“You sold my CLOAK?” The paladin was wide awake now.

“Yer have some better idea how to come up with 28,000 gold pieces?”

“Yes! Sell some of that adamantine.”

“Are yer out of yer ferkin’ _mind_?”

“Well, isn’t that just like a dwarf.”

Wulf got deadly serious for a moment. “Look, bud. Yer had it pretty good up till now, as far as _this_ dwarf is concerned. Ain’t never been greedy an’ graspin’ with the gold, right? But if yer think I’m sellin’ off dwarven ore to the highest bidder, yer got another think comin’.”

“Well, fine, I’ll just buy another cloak. I’ll have to, now that I’m _human_.”

“Fine, yer do that-- next time we split up the cash. An’ if it’ll make yer feel any better, I’m still gonna call yer ‘assmar.’”

*****

Wulf dropped off the adamantine with the dwarven smiths along with a wish-list from the group. Two longswords, two shortswords, two bucklers, four daggers, 50 arrows, and a great-axe for Dorn.

Wulf went to find Dorn and found the group already assembled in Dorn’s cloister. The priest was really enjoying his new role as ‘Divine Oracle’ and had arranged several small, non-descript compartments where he could retreat to scry.

“Figured we might as well check in on Rourmed and Engram.” Viday had dropped their names early on-- two surface-worlders who had made contact with the desmodu. Dorn shared Wulf’s natural suspicion-- there was nothing that a human and an elf could be up to that was any good. At any rate, nobody wanted to head back into Chael Rendaar to face more beholders. They were hoping for a clue that might hurry things to their natural conclusion: a big pile of dead bad guys.

“Good idea. Yer got a name an’ a description, that should be enough.”

Dorn cast his _scrying_ spell and attempted to center on Rourmed, to no avail. “Well, I’ll try Engram then…”

The scrying sensor appeared. Engram, the elf wizard, was bent over a book. Dorn cast a _detect evil_ spell through his sensor. “Let’s see if this works…”

Dorn held the connection through the sensor and focused on Engram’s aura. “Not evil…”

“Not likely…” muttered Wulf. “What’s he readin’?”

Before Dorn could focus on the page, Engram paused, suddenly alert to the scrying. He calmly closed the book and walked to a non-descript corner of the room. Smiling, he sat down and waited patiently.

“So much for that,” said Dorn.

“Well, as long as yer spell’s workin’, check out the temple in Chael Rendaar.”

Dorn refocused his scrying. Soon he could see the inner fane of the temple. Moving the sensor around, the place seemed mostly abandoned. He spotted a couple of desmodu at guard posts.

“Find out what was in that water.”

The sensor moved under the large pool of water. Dorn could see several enormous lobster-like creatures scuttling about. “Each one of ‘em is bigger than a cart, easy.”

Wulf shrugged. “Ehh… We can handle that.”

Shorty piped up from below. “Yeah, but where you gonna get that much butter?”

Dorn watched as one of the creatures scooted over to a secluded patch on the floor where a number of coins and gems had been piled up. Carefully picking up one of the gems in its enormous pincer, the lobster-creature held the gem up to its eyestalks, seeming to admire it. “Well, whatever they are, they’re intelligent.”

“Any beholders?”

“Let me check.” Dorn moved the scrying sensor around, eventually heading up into the broken tower. The sensor winked out. “Guess that answers that question.”

“Well,” said Keldas, “I suggest we bypass Chael Rendaar and go directly to the desmodu city. Unfortunately no one here has seen the city, so the chance of a teleportation mishap is… of considerable concern.”

“Ach… An’ on top o’ that, I’m not too keen on jumpin’ in there unannounced. We’d need to take Viday, an’ he’s big enough I doubt anybody could zip out o’ here with him anyway.”

“Uhh… I have an idea.” All eyes turned to the paladin. “Well, ahh, we could put the _helm of teleportation_ on Viday, cause he’s seen the city, and he could even take a couple of people with him. I think the helm will always carry the wearer, plus about 500 pounds. So we just make Viday the wearer.”

Everybody blinked and sat in stunned silence. The plan was simple, but brilliant. It was all the more amazing that the paladin had thought of it.

Wulf was the first to speak. “Well, yer know what they say: ‘Even a blind sow will pick up an acorn every now and then.’” But they wasted no time in working out the specific details from the kernel of the assmar’s epiphany.

“… teleports in with a couple of people to protect him…”
“… right to Viday’s home, so it’s inconspicuous…”
“… take Keldas and Shorty, so they can study the area for their own _teleportation_…”
“… we can pretty much come and go as we please from Viday’s private dwelling!”

Dorn spoke up. “I’ll go too. Viday plus me, Keldas, and Shorty. But first…” he pulled some runes out of his bag. “I knew today would be an oracle kind of day, and if I ain’t got much in the way of smack, at least I can see if it’s safe. An augury, and a divination: Weal or woe, if we travel now with Viday to his home?”

Dorn cast his runes… but the gods were strangely silent.

Nevertheless, they agreed to move forward, and the plan went off without a hitch. In due time, the entire group was assembled comfortably in Viday’s small home in the desmodu city. Wulf noted that the walls of Viday’s home were of a single drab color, but sculpted in pleasing curves and abrupt angles, the better to “see” and appreciate with the desmodu’s unique vision.

They began their visit by grilling Viday about the details of the city politics. The desmodu were led by an aged adept named Bandar and his assistant Mekmit. The explorers, Viday’s caste, were led by Tarket; the merchants were led by Raam; and the warriors by Torjed. The group decided it would be best to start right at the top, and Viday arranged a meeting for them with Bandar. 

Bandar’s quarters were located at the top of a temple to Vesperian, the desmodu deity-- Lord of Bats. The path to the temple required the party to cross a narrow stone bridge that spanned a huge crevasse in the floor of the cave. Wulf looked at it and exchanged a nervous glance with Dorn.

“Remember,” Dorn whispered, “Viday crosses us, his three relatives back at the forge DIE. I don’t care if I did _raise_ them myself.”

“Good on yer,” Wulf replied. He appreciated the priest’s dwarven pragmatism-- however heavy-handed it might be.

There was no immediate treachery afoot, however; the group soon approached Bandar’s council chamber and found him meeting with Mekmit and Rourmed. Wulf raised his fist in greeting to Bandar, then nodded to Rourmed-- more than anything to acknowledge his presence, and make it clear he wasn’t at all surprised by it. He took an immediate disliking to Mekmit-- completely unfounded, of course. Wulf simply didn’t trust anyone who played toadie to the avowed leader. _Them’s the ones yer gotta watch._

As usual, after the brief introductions, Wulf got right to the point. “We got a problem. Yer salamander buddies are causin’ earthquakes back down the line.” Wulf jerked his head back in the general direction of the forge, as if Bandar would know what he was talking about. “Whole lot o’ dwarves and a nice forge on the line up there.”

“Well, obviously we don’t mean you any harm, but the situation is rather complicated. The earthquakes are no doubt caused by the dam of lava in the salamanders’ lair; they need this lava in order to sustain the gate from their realm to ours. They could not survive here without the heat of that lava.

“There are complications for the desmodu as well. We have only just cleared the way through Chael Rendaar. Chael Rendaar is a choke-point of underdark highways. If the dam bursts and the lava flows into Chael Rendaar again, the desmodu will once again be cut off from the surface world. I am afraid that my people will not survive without outside contact. Already, in the past several hundred years, we have lost much of our arcane knowledge. We have no priests or wizards to speak of.”

_Good to know,_ Wulf thought. “Gimme solutions, then.”

“Well, it’s would still destroy the salamanders’ demesne, but it might be possible to dig a channel through Chael Rendaar to divert the flow of lava through the cavern-- in one side and out the other. Then, the way would not be blocked, and we desmodu could still reach the surface world.”

“Well, let’s talk about that for a second. Are yer aware that yer warrior buddies are enslavin’ yer own people? Viday here, he can tell yer all about it.”

Viday stepped forward briefly. “It’s true. The warriors are a threat to anyone who travels through Chael Rendaar or beyond. They have allied with eye tyrants in Chael Rendaar to retrieve the adamantine there.”

“Torjed has always been overly aggressive, “ Bandar admitted. “Mekmit, arrange a meeting to speak with him.”

“Right then. So gettin’ back to the earthquake problem… Seems to me that no matter how yer slice it, somebody’s gonna get buggered: my dwarves, yer desmodu, or the salamanders. All those in favor of screwin’ the salamanders?”

Wulf’s entire group raised their hands.

Though he had watched impassionately during the entire exchange, Rourmed finally spoke up. “I suggest that the salamanders are more important allies. Surely the dwarves can relocate.”

Wulf made a mental note. 
_FOLKS TO KILL:_
*Rourmed*.

Rourmed continued. “With our aid, you have had great success with Lord Helkitren. Surely you would not discard the good will of a noble salamander.”

_FOLKS TO KILL:_
*Rourmed.
Helkitren.*

“Yer Rourmed, aye?” Wulf looked askance at Karak, hoping for the _eeeevil_ confirmation, but the paladin shook his head. “Ach… Well, just what is it yer doin’ down here, anyway?”

If Rourmed realized that he’d made it onto Wulf’s list, he seemed unconcerned. He spoke calmly, palms upward. “My comrades and I seek trade with the desmodu for the mutual benefit of all parties.”

_ We got us a fancy-schmancy diplomat here. Two can at play that game._

“Oh yeah?”

Rourmed nodded. 

“What comrades? We heard about Engram. How many ‘comrades’ yer got down here, anyway?”

Bandar spoke up. “He travels with a half-elf and a half-orc…”

“Well, if it’s trade yer want, yer can’t do much better than us dwarves. I still say: Screw the salamanders.” Wulf was clearly losing his patience. His palms were itching for _his_ kind of solution.

Bandar waved him aside. “Peace, peace. It doesn’t have to be decided today.”

Dorn whispered to Wulf. “Shorthand for ‘Sleep here tonight so we can kill ya in yer sleep.’”

Keldas nodded to Bandar. “We accept. We’ll stay tonight  in your temple, and meet with you and the other desmodu leaders tomorrow.”

“Aye…” Wulf mused. “That Torjed prick is due for a stiff beatin'…”

They were led away to their chambers, and everyone’s mind was on the same thing: A clash with Rourmed was clearly imminent.

“Anytime you match adventurers against adventurers,” cautioned Dorn, “it gets ugly.”

Wulf lay back on his hands, a big grin on his face. “It also gets… _lucrative_.”

The group bedded down in a small cul-de-sac not more than thirty feet from Bandar’s own dwelling. Bandar’s cave was located above the temple, and the only access (in or out) that they were aware of was a ten-foot wide hole in the floor. Counting Bandar and Mekmit’s spaces, their own cave, and the short passage leading to the gaping hole down, the whole cave had a clover-shaped appearance.

Wulf was the only one who didn’t need his rest to recover spells, and at any rate he wasn’t about to drop his guard among the desmodu, no matter how trusting and good-natured Wulf usually considered himself. He took up a position at the mouth of their cave and did his best to blend in with the rocky wall.

His vigilance was soon rewarded. Not more than an hour after they’d bedded down, a desmodu child-- though still man-sized by Wulf’s standards, of course-- crept into the cave complex and headed for Bandar’s cave. As the child approached the curtain that Bandar had drawn across for privacy, literally within arm’s reach of Wulf, Wulf stepped out of hiding.

“What yer want?” Wulf’s hand was already on the axe at his belt.

Though he was certain the child hadn’t seen him, the ‘little’ desmodu didn’t flinch whatsoever. “I have a message for Bandar.”

“What’s the message?”

“It’s private.” The child put on a petulant look-- at least, as petulant as a 6-foot tall bat could manage.

Dorn was alert now and at Wulf’s side-- with _Syrius_ already well in hand. Wulf held Dorn back and whispered quietly. “Easy now… Be just our luck the little bugger’s innocent. Can’t go ‘round slaughtering their wee ones… yet.”

Wulf stepped aside. “Deliver your message then. We’ll wait right here.”

The child entered the cave and pulled the curtain closed again behind him. Wulf and Dorn stood nearby, listening for trouble--  but there was none forthcoming.

“…meet with him tomorrow first thing to discuss Torjed and his warriors.”

Bandar answered. “Very well. Tell master Tarket I will confer with him before I approach Torjed.”

The child slipped out of the cave again and looked disapprovingly at Wulf and Dorn. “It's not polite to listen in on other people’s conversations, you know.”

“Yah… Bugger off, then.”

The child left them. Wulf once again assumed his position as guard, and Dorn returned to rest. The evening passed without a hitch.

In the morning, however, they awoke to trouble. Several desmodu greeted Bandar and Mekmit, looking askance at Wulf and his companions-- and at Viday.

“Tarket is dead,” one of the desmodu announced. “Witnesses say he was killed by… him.”

The desmodu gestured with his hook, eyeing the assassin down the length of his weapon.

Keldas looked around. “Me?”

They followed the desmodu to Tarket’s dwelling, where several more guards were watching the scene of the crime. Tarket’s body was still there; it was even mostly intact. Unfortunately they hadn’t travelled with a ranger since The Sunless Citadel (Wulf still cursed the fact that the bastard had waltzed off with first magic battle-axe the group had found). Without someone skilled in tracking, there wasn’t really any way to tell exactly how he’d died. He had some deep wounds and some toasty bits, though, plain enough.

“Well,” Wulf suggested, looking hopefully at Bandar, desperate to find a diplomatic solution out of their predicament. “We can cast _speak with dead_ and ask Tarket’s soul about the killing. Would that satisfy yer?”

Before Bandar could reply, Dorn stepped forward. “Ferkit,” he scowled. “Give me time to rest and pray, and I’ll just raise him from the dead. You can ask him whatever the hell you want.” He snapped his fingers, _easy as pie_. Clearly, Dorn was enjoying his power over the afterlife. 

Wulf blinked sheepishly. “Ahh… right. Or we could do that.”

“That would solve the problem,” Keldas said. “Even if Tarket can’t vindicate us personally, obviously we have nothing to gain by killing Tarket and raising him the next day.”

“Aye. No harm, no foul, I say.”

Wulf thought for a moment. “Meantime, Bandar, we’ll want to keep watch over the body. Let’s move him to the temple, right? Yer want to post a few desmodu guards as well, I reckon.” 

So it was decided. The party returned to the temple quarters with Tarket’s body. Bandar, Viday, and three other desmodu went with them. Wulf directed the defenses, posting the three desmodu near the hole leading down. He put Viday around the corner in another cul-de-sac. “Keep pingin’ around, let us know if anything’s comin’.”

Karak was stationed right next to the body, along with Bandar. “Just don’t let ‘em get the body, right? Cause I reckon they'll try, their ass is on the line now.” Wulf moved up to the edge of the cul-de-sac and hid near the wall there.

While they waited, Dorn had an idea. “Well, I got a _scry_ spell today. Might as well use it and see what Rourmed is up to.”

This time, the scrying sensor had no trouble locating Rourmed. Dorn spotted him just outside in the desmodu city-- though Rourmed looked like a desmodu child, and standing next to him was someone who looked like Keldas. 

Viday shouted a warning. Even from around the corner, his uncanny ‘eyesight’ could see throughout the entire cave-- and even down the hole. “Someone is coming up…”

Wulf tightened his grip on _Taranak_. “IT’S ON!”

Wulf looked to Keldas to start the party off right. “How about a little _haste_ and _improved invisibility_ here, right?”

Keldas cast _mass haste_, but Wulf was surprised and disappointed when the elf followed up with _mirror image_. “What the hell?”

“It’s part of my new philosophy,” explained Keldas.

“What’s that? Cover yer own ass first?”

“Pretty much,” Keldas nodded, pointing to the hole in the floor. Two warriors in plate-mail came cruising up through the hole. The first, a human, sailed up to the desmodu warriors and landed the first crushing blow. 

The second warrior was a black-skinned half-orc. He hovered back a few paces, threw back his shoulders and thrust his head forward, mouth open wide. Dorn spotted his scaly skin, but not in time to warn the others before a bubbling gout of acid washed over everyone.

Dorn smacked Bandar. “Next time you tell us the enemy travels with a half-orc,” he bellowed, “you might mention that the _other_ half is DRAGON!” Dorn fired a _searing light_ at the half-orc/half-dragon but missed, striking one of their own desmodu allies instead. “Blast!”

Wulf and Keldas shuddered at the sound of breaking glass from below the hole. They were far too familiar with that sound: the sound of a psion summoning astral constructs. At any moment they expected ghostly gorillas and elephants to come pounding into their midst. “Gonna need some _protection_ here!” Wulf shouted, to no one in particular. He had his own _helm of protection from evil_ so he wasn’t worried for himself.

The paladin stepped forward, cast a _magic circle_ and threw a fireball from his necklace to the back of the cave, catching the two warriors and anybody else who might be standing under the hole. He flushed a couple more enemies out-- Engram floated up out of the hole and cast a _dispel_ over the entire area. He was a powerful wizard, and everyone in the group felt some of their magical protections melt away. 

An ice devil came bounding out of the hole, cackling as it took up a position behind the human warrior. A _wall of ice_ sprang up across the mouth of the party’s cul-de-sac, cutting them off from the three desmodu warriors. 

“Son of a… Ach, yer bastard!” Wulf was standing right at the edge of the wall, but he didn’t dare chop through it. For starters, he knew the accursed devil would just make another, and to make matters worse, he’d seen Rourmed arrive moments before and start casting. “Right… ready yerselves! When that wall goes down, all hell is gonna break loose!”

From somewhere behind him Wulf heard Alliane speaking. Her usual soft, subdued monotone grew louder and more confident, and soon became a bold _recitation_: “…our Lord Corellon, grant us power and protection! Lay your hands upon us in our time of need…”

Wulf raised his fist. “Up Corellon… Whatever…” He didn’t particularly want Corellon layin’ his hands anywhere near him, but he couldn’t deny that when Alliane finished her spell, he felt stronger, more agile, more confident.

Still _hasted_, Alliane readied a _dispel magic_ to counter whatever came at them when the wall dropped. Though the ice wall was too thick to see through, they could see shadowy forms moving on the other side. A human psion and two large astral constructs had arrived.

While the others prepared spells, Wulf could do no more than to grip _Taranak_ tightly and pray for an enemy close at hand. 

Keldas _dispelled_ the wall and both sides let fly with everything they had. Engram, the elf mage, started to cast an _acid fog_ centered on the back half of the party’s cave, but Alliane was ready with a counterspell. Keldas acted next, casting _improved invisibilty_ on Wulf, but before anyone could act, Rourmed completed his own spell, and a _blade barrier_ appeared in their midst.

_”Scatter!”_ Dorn yelled. He lost the spell he was preparing and shoved Bandar out of the cave, spoiling the adept’s _lightning bolt_ as well. The party scrambled out of their cul-de-sac and into the two adjoining caves. They were split up now, with Dorn, Alliane, Bandar, and Viday on one side, and everybody else on the other. It was no great surprise, then, when the bone devil threw up another wall of ice into the left-hand cavern, further splintering the group. Keldas and Wulf were in front of the wall, up near the action, but Shorty and Karak were trapped behind another wall.

It was obvious Shorty was getting frustrated. The little sorceror twice tried to dispel the wall of ice, but could not seem to focus his own magic enough to do the trick. Karak was indecisive, pacing back and forth behind the wall, trying to decide if it was worth using one of his powerful scrolls to dispel it, or just hacking his way through it.

The desmodu warriors weren’t faring well against Rourmed and Engram’s hired thugs. Wulf was screaming at them to finish off the bone devil, and like good soldiers they pounded away at it with all their might. Of course, they didn’t seem to notice that their weapons couldn’t hurt it. They were getting nowhere fast and things got even worse when the little half-elf showed up. Wulf watched with admiration as she tumbled through the melee and flanked the first warrior. He grimaced, knowing what was coming next; sure enough, the sneaky little chit was a rogue, and her sneak attacks dropped the desmodu like a ton of bricks. The human warrior and the half-orc-half-dragon easily finished off a second desmodu.

Dorn stood at the edge of Rourmed’s _blade barrier_ and was finally ready to exact a little vengeance. He dropped *two* _flame strikes_ into the ranks of the enemy, taking out the half-orc-half-dragon, and the psion. 

Confident and invisible, Wulf waltzed through the combat and stepped up with the bone devil. “Yer want something done right, yer gotta do it yerself…” _Taranak_ and his bone dagger sliced through the devil’s hide like butter. The devil screamed and backed up, summoning several lesser devils to help out. The devils couldn’t see Wulf, of course, so they surged forward and ripped the last desmodu guard to shreds.

Keldas blasted the devil with a _bolt of conjuring_ and finally sent it screaming back to hell. “And for my next trick…” He gave the human an evil grin. Though he was dressed in full plate, the human warrior fought like a monk, bare-handed, and they had found him nearly impossible to hit. Fortunately Keldas had his number. “You just stand still a second so Wulf can have at you…”

The human went rigid as Keldas’ _hold monster_ spell took effect, a look of surprise frozen on his face.

As much as Wulf wanted to lay into a helpless opponent, Dorn was the next to act, and he wasn’t pulling any punches. A _blade barrier_ sprang up in Rourmed’s portion of the cave. Wulf knew that Dorn couldn’t see him, but he flattered himself to think that the priest was confident enough in his abilities to drop a bladestorm right on his head. True enough, both of the rogues in the area leapt and twisted to escape the whirling blades.

Wulf tumbled after the half-elven rogue, dropping his dagger and drawing a sock full of pennies. He was _smiling_. “Some days I really love this job…” Axe and sap went crashing down on the girl, and she went crashing to the floor.

Dorn’s _blade barrier_ whirred away. The human ‘monk’ was held helpless at the edge of the blades, and though his expression did not change, there was no mistaking the look of abject terror that crept into his eyes. The blades slowed down somewhat as they whirled around him--  an _inertial barrier_. Wulf shrugged. _Right… you just get to die real slow then, yer poor bastard._

Rourmed and Engram were the only two enemies remaining, and they weren’t about to stand around inside the _blade barrier_. They retreated down the hole. Dorn dispelled his _barrier_ and cast _silence_ on Wulf. “Go get ‘em!”

Wulf didn’t hesitate, diving down the hole after them. His plan was to step up close so that the _silence_ would prevent their spellcasting. He was surprised to note that became visible as he dropped through, nearly right on top of Rourmed. _Invisibility purge_, Wulf thought--  and yet, Engram was nowhere to be seen. Wulf shrugged and pulled his hand-axe to deal with Rourmed.

The evil cleric took a good look at Wulf, then backpedalled as fast as he could. Wulf took one good swipe at him with _Taranak_ but Rourmed was able to escape his grasp-- and the area of _silence_. He spoke an incantation and disappeared. 

The smile on Wulf’s face was gone. He hated to see the bad guys walk away from a righteous ass-kickin'.

He headed back upstairs to survey the damage, but the realization slowly dawned on him that they had, in fact, kicked some major ass. They’d only lost three desmodu—and who cared about them, after all? 

Someone had finished off all the dead and dying while he was away. Wulf rolled the bodies over and looted them thoroughly--  but he didn’t feel there was much to it. 

“These guys don’t have _jack…_,” Wulf complained.

“Well,” suggested Keldas, “Rourmed and Engram got away with the _real_ treasure, leaving you with a psion, a monk, a thief, and a half-orc dragon-disciple of some kind. I guess they don’t need much of anything, really. Just the power of their own minds and bodies.”

Wulf rolled his eyes at the heavens. “Yer got to be ferkin’ kiddin’ me. How convenient.” He roughly flipped over the unconscious half-elf with the tip of his boot. “I hope fer yer sake, girlie, yer got something worthwhile… other than the obvious.” Of all of them, she was the only one that really came equipped with gear. 

“It’s not so bad,” said Dorn, scanning the other gear for magic auras. “There’s quite a bit of weaker stuff here. Lots of potions, some weaker rings and amulets. Nice boots here on the half-orc…” His voice trailed off for a moment. “Sweet lord, look at this greatsword! That'll sell for a good chunk o' change.” 

Wulf didn’t hear him. He was bending over the half-elf, rifling through her gear like a raccoon in a rubbish bin. He tossed aside her rapier and her short bow; he unbuckled her potion belt and stripped off her magic armor. He paused for a moment. 

“Mmm… _Nice hole!_ I’ll just snatch this little velvet treat and the rest of yer can do what yer want with everything else.”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*DEEP HORIZON Part V*

Wulf roughly slapped the half-elf, trying to wake her up.

“Further beating isn’t likely to work,” suggested Alliane. She brandished one of the weaker _wands of healing._ “Let’s try this instead.”

With a bit of healing the half-elf was soon awake. If she was disturbed at the sight of her comrades lying dead around her, or the embittered dwarf leering over her with his hands quivering over his weapons, she didn’t show it. She played it cool, and Wulf respected that.

“Let’s be frank: Yer continued health and good fortune is dependent on yer immediate cooperation. What’s in the hole? Any nasty surprises in there?”

She looked at the velvet cloth in Wulf’s hand. “Nothing bad. I keep a _carpet of flying_ in there.”

Wulf screwed up his eyes and tried to decide if she was lying. She seemed sincere; at any rate the worst that could happen was he’d have an excuse for summary execution. Wulf rolled out the velvet cloth onto the ground, opening up the extra dimensional space: a hole, about six feet across and ten feet deep. There was a carpet at the bottom.

“Cool,” said Shorty. “Can I have that?”

“Knock yerself out.” 

Shorty hopped into the hole and situated himself on the carpet. “What’s the command word?”

Wulf looked at the girl and nodded towards the hole. “Well? Don’t disappoint him.”

Needless to say, she complied.

“What’s yer name, girl?” Wulf was dragging the bodies of her comrades over to the hole. He dug his spiked boots into the first corpse and gave it a good kick. The half-orc rolled into the hole like a felled log.

“Arrinna.”

“Where would Rourmed and Engram run off to?”

“Well… I would guess either to Helkitren, or to Rourmed’s lord.”

“Who’s Rourmed’s lord and where can we find him?” Two more bodies tumbled into the _portable hole_.

“Imperagon. He has a fortress on Acheron.”

“What is he? Demon o’ some kind?”

“No, he’s a half-dragon.”

“Oh no you don’t…” Wulf interjected. _Not fallin’ for that again._ “What’s the _other_ half, right?”

“Grey dwarf.”

Wulf’s eyebrows shot up. Half-dragon, half-grey dwarf, probably a psion, living on Acheron. “Well, we’re not going _there_. Yet.” Still, he was anxious to pursue Rourmed and Egram immediately. They really hadn’t used much of their resources driving them off the first time. 

“Dorn… Yer got any more scrying today?”

Dorn shook his head, and Wulf rolled his eyes. “Right, right, that would make too much sense. If only we had some kind of _divine oracle_ right now.” 

Wulf thought for a moment. “Well, they’re going to get a day to recover no matter how we slice it. Might as well head back to the forge.” Wulf tossed the three fallen desmodu warriors into the hole. He jerked his thumb at the half-elf. “Yer turn. Hop in.”

“What are you going to do with me?” she asked. 

“Ach, really, I have to tell yer, I’m just wingin’ it for now. No plans. Why? What would yer do if I decided to let yer go?”

“I would return to Lord Imperagon. I _must_.”

“I appreciate yer honesty, but that was a stupid answer.” Wulf really didn’t want to bother with her, and would have been just as happy to let her go, but there was no way he was going to let her report back to this Imperagon prick, whoever he was. “We’ll hold yer for a while, let the Old Man ask a few questions, he can decide.”

They returned to the forge, where Wulf unceremoniously dumped the contents of the _portable hole_. Wulf’s half-elf prisoner Arrina was seized by rough dwarven hands and led away to a temporary cell elsewhere in the forge. As the Old Man looked on, Wulf laid out the bodies of four desmodu: three warriors and the fallen leader of the explorers, Tarket. “Bring back any of ‘em who wanna come back, right? Can’t imagine there’s much to do in the bat-afterlife.”

Wulf and Keldas huddled with Dorn. “How soon before we can track them down?”

“I’ll need to rest and recover spells,” said Dorn, already pulling away to retire to his quarters. “At least a day.”

Wulf spent the interim making certain of Arrina’s confinement. “I want four guards on her at all times. Nothing personal,” he suggested, looking the girl in the eye. “I’d still like to see if I can’t find a way out of all this for yer.”

“I will die if I don’t return to Imperagon.”

“Sorry bout yer luck, then.”

*****

Wulf went to join Dorn, and in time, the entire group assembled again for another attempt at Rourmed and Engram. 

“I only got a little bit of scrying today,” Dorn explained. “If we find ‘em, I wanted to be ready to attack.”

“Aye, yer wouldn’t want anyone to mistake yer for a font of wisdom.”

“Shaddup… Let’s just look in on Rourmed, shall we?”

Wulf grabbed his arm. “No, wait. Start with Helkitren.”

“Why?”

“Well, I figure Rourmed’s going to have himself protected from scrying, right? Probably Engram, too.”

“Right, with ya so far.”

“There’s only two places they’ll go: Imperagon or Helkitren. And since we don’t wanna tip our hand to Imperagon…”

“And since I can’t scry into other planes anyway,” Dorn interjected.

“… So just focus in on Helkitren, right? If Rourmed’s with him we’ll know right away.”

Dorn cast his _scrying_ and focused in immediately on Helkitren, the lord of the salamanders. Sure enough, he was seated at table with Rourmed, Engram, and several important looking Ignan dignitaries, including an efreeti noble.

“… the balance of the shipment…” he was saying, when he stopped abruptly, suddenly alerted to the scrying. He sighed, clearly frustrated. “Engram…”

The sensor was suddenly blanketed in darkness.

“Ach, well… They know we’re coming.”

“Are we?” said Dorn, clearly in disagreement with that ploy. “I say we wait until tomorrow so I can ply us with _protection from fire_ spells.”

“But if we wait until tomorrow, _they_ will have time to prepare as well! I say we hit ‘em now!”

They wasted precious minutes arguing back and forth before Dorn finally made a suggestion. “Well, I got a _divination_, let’s see what Haela suggests.”

Wulf rolled his eyes, already all too familiar with Haela’s track record. “Whatever.”

Dorn cast his runes, beseeching Haela for wisdom: _Attack now or wait until the morrow?_

Sure enough, he was answered with the usual non-committal mumbo-jumbo: some vague admonition that ‘being prepared was good, yep’ and this jewel of foresight: “They will know the moment of your arrival.”

Of course, Dorn took that as proof that the attack should be delayed, but Wulf was mightily perplexed. The entire portent smacked of determinism-- which he resisted with every fibre of his being.

“Now just hang on a second,” he suggested, trying to wrap his mind around the seeming paradox, his anger coming to a slow boil. “If they know exactly when we’re coming… well, that could be five minutes from now, right? How could Haela answer that with any clarity? How does _she_ know what we’re going to decide?” Wulf raised his eyes and his fist to the sky. “WE HAVEN’T EVEN DECIDED YET!”

Wulf gathered himself. “We’re going now.” He waved aside Dorn’s protest. “We’re going now. Look, I’m not gettin jerked around by Haela or anybody else’s god. So either I’m gonna  surprise 'em, or I’m donna do EXACTLY what she already knows we’re gonna do anyway. If she had a problem with it she coulda said so. We go NOW.”

While he spoke, everyone was slowly won over to Wulf’s point of view. While Wulf paced back and forth, scowling and urging them all to hurry, the others scrambled to prepare themselves with spells: Karak broke out his scrolls, Keldas and Alliane huddled together, Shorty and Loyal did the same. “Time’s a wastin! They know when we’re comin’, remember? Every second yer give em now is more time for them to prepare a welcoming committee!”

Shorty tapped Wulf to get his attention. “Uhhh, Dorn is the only one who saw the area to teleport in…”

Dorn hadn’t been easy to persuade, and now that his course was set, he wasn’t about to let a little thing like that change his mind. “I’ll draw a ferkin’ MAP, you guys can take yer chances!”

Keldas tapped Wulf lightly, preparing him with an _Improved Invisibility_. His disembodied voice called out to them as he unfurled his _portable hole_ on the ground. “We’re not leavin’ anything to chance!” he shouted. 

“Now… Who’s goin’ in the hole?”

Only after all their preparations were finished, and the clock was ticking on their battle spells, and he was looking down into the _portable hole_ at the faces of his allies-- Karak, Alliane, and Loyal-- did Wulf start to have second thoughts. He gripped the edge of the magic velvet and prepared to close up the hole. He figured they had a couple minutes of breathable air, tops, before they suffocated inside the extradimensional space.

“Yer all sure about this, right?” Wulf hoped they couldn’t hear it in his voice: the eleventh hour desperation, seeking, at the least, a release of culpability.

“Just make sure you get this hole open as soon as you can,” said Karak. 

Wulf nodded. “Ach… Well… If I don’t open it within 30 seconds, yer can bet we’re buggered to hell an’ back-- an’ yer probably better off in there.”

Wulf rolled up the hole and tucked it into his belt.

“Ready?” asked Dorn. 

Wulf nodded and stepped in next to Shorty and Keldas. “Just make sure yer don’t miss,” said Wulf. “Be a shame to _teleport_ into all the lava down there.”

“Don’t worry,” said Dorn. “Haela’s got this one. I feel _lucky._”

Sure enough, they were spot on: just a few feet in front of the conference table. Wulf was among the first to assess the situation. “Flamin’ hell…”

Seated at the table were Helkitren, the salamander noble; Rourmed and Engram, and a large eagle; an elf in full plate and two astral constructs; an efreet-- and a noble at that, no mistake; and around the room he spotted three or four more salamanders, four hell-hounds, and a half-dozen bone devils. But what really caught Wulf’s eye was the big insect devil standing right in front of them, and the gargantuan-sized fire elemental behind them. Wulf had flashbacks of the massive fire-thing they’d fought in Nightfang Spire.

“Ach, we’re f---“

Before he even had time to finish his thought-- which thought was, of course, to sound an immediate retreat--Keldas sprang to action. A single word of power sprang from his lips, and Engram was _stunned_. The poor bastard didn’t even have a chance to _think_ about resisting.

The element of surprise was over, but Keldas made no show of slowing down. A tiny iron rod danced between his fingers at dizzying speed as he flung his arm towards the towering elemental. “Hold!”

Keldas knew it was a long-shot, but it paid off. The thing was paralyzed. His left hand flew out in the opposite direction. The merest moment passed, just long enough for a look of surprise to reflect infinitely in its multifaceted eyes, and then the thing was _disintegrated._

“Ach!" said Wulf. “That was lucky!”

"Believe me, you have no idea," said Keldas, though he'd clearly surprised even himself.

The enemy finally broke free of their stupor and moved to action. A thick _wall of ice_ sprang up, neatly enclosing the small group of heroes. “That’s bloody annoying,” said Dorn, already preparing to dispel it. “But at least they’re playin’ defense!”

True enough, from outside the ice the enemy was busy, desperately trying to dispel the effect of the _power word_ that had hobbled their own wizard. From somewhere above them, invisible efreet used their innate abilities, one after another, until finally Engram was freed.

Wulf grabbed the _portable hole_ from his belt and held it ready. As soon as Dorn dispelled the wall of ice, Wulf moved forward and threw open the hole, right into the vacant spot left by the massive insect-demon. Wulf looked down into the faces of his allies. “Moooooove!” he shouted, pulling his dagger from his belt and setting _Taranak_ ablaze.

The hell-hounds, profoundly unimpressed by everything the two-legs were up to, charged up to surround Keldas and Shorty. Several of Keldas’ mirror images were dispersed, and Shorty too was bitten and scorched, but it only served to annoy the little halfling. Ignoring the snapping jaws of the hell-hounds, he mustered his concentration and sent blast after blast of _chain lightning_ thundering through the room. The stench of ozone filled the air as all of the hell-hounds and both of the astral constructs were completely obliterated.

Several efreeti surrounded Wulf, calmly reaching out to touch him. Wulf winced, expecting a one-way trip to the Elemental Plane of Fire, but amazingly enough, their phenomenal luck held: Wulf bobbed and weaved and _somehow_, against the odds, avoided the deadly _plane shift_. 

By the time Karak came flying out of the _portable hole_, engulfed in a blinding aura of holy power, and smote the noble efreet with a powerful blow, the enemy was broken. Rourmed grabbed Engram and Helkitren and disappeared in a flash, and after they were gone, everything that _could_ escape wasted no time doing so, leaving the unfortunate elf-in-plate alone against the party.

As his weapons whistled down on the foe, singing the axe-and-sap lullabye, Wulf heard the elf mutter briefly, “Not again…”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*INTERLUDE: QUEEN OF LIES*

It took them some time to realize that the assault was an unqualified victory. Rourmed and Engram had escaped, true enough, but their departure echoed swiftly through the rest of the cave complex and their salamander allies were not far behind.

“Didn’t waste any time buggerin’ off, did they?” Wulf looked disappointed.

“Would YOU want to stay around to face us?” asked Keldas.

“Aye… Just not a real satisfyin’ battle for me. Spent the whole time worryin’ about my _hole_.”

“This ought to cheer you up,” said Dorn, returning from another cave with a handful of adamantine ore. “Plenty more where this came from.”

Indeed, by the time they’d gathered all the ore into one place, Wulf’s smile was chiseled into his face. “Figure we got about a hunn’erd grand here… give or take. All we got to do now is hold on to it.” 

Wulf looked around at his companions. The fight was over so quickly, nobody was severely hurt, and they hadn’t expended much in the way of resources, either. “Think we can do it?”

Dorn nodded. “Should do. Don’t really want to leave that portal sittin’ here.” He pointed to the huge flaming portal that led back to the Elemental Plane of Fire. “I can take care of it tomorrow, for sure.”

“What yer got in mind?”

“Well, a forge, even a salamander one, seems a proper place to reconsecrate to Haela Brightaxe. I’ll _hallow_ the area tomorrow, and lock ‘er down with a _dimensional anchor_. That ought to do it.”

And it was as simple as that. By the end of the next day, they’d stored the adamantine, returned the prisoner to their own forge, _and_ completely sealed off the salamander gate. By the end of the next week, they’d secured the salamander caves and returned to Chael Rendar. The beholders had also left for better prospects, and the group wasted no time solving the problem of the lava flow. They’d need to dig a channel 40 feet wide and 40 feet deep for the lava to flow across Chael Rendar and ease the earthquakes.

“I have to leave for a while for ‘religious matters,’” suggested Dorn. “I’ll send a crew of dwarves down to help out.”

Soon enough, Wulf was overseeing a crew of dwarven miners, though truth be told, most of the hard work was done by Keldas: An umber hulk with access to _disintegrate_ could move one hell of a lot of earth.

Wulf and Keldas were discussing the placement of the great stone bridges across the lava channel when Wulf received a _sending_ from Diessa.

“Drow are attacking the forge in force. The Old Man is poisoned and down. Come home.”

Wulf smiled grimly, appreciating her dwarven pragmatism, and gathered the group around him. “Drow attackin’ the forge, the Old Man is down an’ out. We’re heading home. Yer got 10 seconds to prepare, then we hit ‘em!”

Keldas, Karak, and Alliane cast a couple of quick spells. Wulf stood near Shorty, who cast a _spectral hand_ then turned a toothy halfling grin to Wulf. 

“If we survive this, I say we charge the Old Man for bringin’ him back.”

They teleported back to the Forge, landing square in Wulf’s own bedroom-- a practical decision, not only because Wulf had installed a secret door leading to the great hall, but because his spartan room was uncluttered enough to accommodate them all. Keldas cast _improved invisibility_ on Wulf, then led the rest of the group out through Wulf’s secret door, and through the Old Man’s quarters. Alliane was in the lead, and she could see the door to the great hall standing open at the end of the passage. Diessa stood there on the dais, her back to the heroes, standing guard over the Old Man and looking out into the great hall where drow and duergar swarmed over the desperate dwarven defenders. 

Wulf didn’t follow. Instead, he took the long way around, intent on bursting into the great hall from the side door. Away down the long western hallway Wulf could hear the sounds of a desperate battle, but Wulf couldn’t, in good conscience, head off to battle against the drow rank-and-file when their accursed leaders were afoot in his great hall. 

He turned away and charged through the side door. In a glance he spotted several of the drow leaders, making mental notes to himself as he summed each of them up in turn: _Male: wizard. Female: priest. Drider: Yeesh, bigger’n I thought._

Wulf desperately wanted to come to grips with the priestess standing in the center of the hall, but he knew he couldn’t close the distance fast enough. He was _just_ short. Instead, he drew axe and dagger and opted for the drow male close at hand. _Six seconds with that poor bastard, then we’ll close with she-bitch._ Wulf charged the short distance confidently, and was not the least bit surprised or concerned when he neared the area of the drow priestess and his invisibility winked out. _Invisibility purge, sure enough._

Wulf slashed into the drow wizard from the side, gutting a deep gash across his side despite the wizard’s protections. The drow snarled confidently and hissed at Wulf with a voice like venom. “Squat one, that was a mistake.”

His gloating was short-lived, however, and whatever nastiness he had planned for Wulf would never see fruition. Karak charged into the hall, leapt off the dais, and _smote_ the wizard for all he was worth. The look on the drow’s face as his head rolled across the floor was priceless.

Shorty, now _hasted_, swaggered into the room. He clapped his hands together and summoned a _chain lightning_ that blasted the drow priestess and some dozen of her closest companions. 

And then, for good measure, _he did it again_.

By the time Shorty was done, the hall was littered with smoking corpses. One of them, it seemed, must have been responsible for the _invisibility purge_, for Wulf noticed that he’d turned invisible again. Wulf shrugged and left the priestess to Alliane and her _searing light_. And yes, there was still a drider coming up the hall, but Loyal was just _punishing_ the thing with his arrows and Karak looked eager to smite it, too.

Wulf wasn’t about to miss out on the fun again. He noted two unfortunate warriors who were standing close enough for him to get between them, and he dished out two or three attacks to each of them before they even knew he was there. The air crackled again with Shorty’s efforts and Wulf moved among the survivors like lightning himself, cleaving them left and right. He was showboating; though he was invisible, of course, the results of his performance were evident in the flopping limbs, scattered entrails, and assorted gore he left in his wake. 

The writing was on the wall. A few desperate survivors tried to escape through the old forge and down to Nightscale’s lake. Wulf shouted after them, “Come on, yer pansies, it hasn’t even been thirty seconds since we got here!” He gestured to Alliane. “If yer please?”

A _divine storm_ materialized inside the old forge-- whirling longswords of elven make sliced through dark-skinned flesh. Wulf was surprised to see, perhaps, the merest look of satisfaction on Alliane’s face. Every last drow and duergar who had attacked them lay dead at their feet. 

“So much for _that_,” said Keldas.

“Leave the cleanup to me and we’ll divvy up the loot.” 

While the rest of the group moved through the hall and tended to the dead, dying, and wounded dwarves, Wulf got to work on the drow and duergar. 

“Well, it wasn’t easy, but I’ve sorted the drow into two piles: male and female.” He smirked at Keldas. “I think…”

“Do you suppose they will return?” asked Karak. “This may be an exploratory attack. A second wave could come at any time.”

“How do they tell time in the underdark?” mused Shorty.

Karak scoffed. “By the sun!”

Wulf stared blankly at Karak. “In the _underdark_?”

“Well, by the _moon_ then.” 

Wulf just nodded. He had begun to suspect that perhaps Karak wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. “Just cast _detect magic_ and help me strip these bodies of anything useful.”

“With pleasure!” The paladin rolled up his sleeves and happily began looting the dead.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part I*

The cleaning up and scrubbing down took considerably longer than the fight, giving them all time to reflect upon the attack. Without dissent, they decided that the drow wouldn’t be hurrying back anytime soon for another ass-kicking.

So much for the Queen of Lies.

Many brave dwarves had died defending the Forge. Wulf had missed Dorn’s battle prowess, but he reflected that this was perhaps the first time he’d missed the priest in times of peace. The situation was made worse by the fact that they’d lost one of their better smiths, a hardy fellow by the name of Karn. Wulf knew him only in passing, but he shed a quiet tear nevertheless.

After all, they were sitting on a friggin’ mountain of adamantine, and he couldn’t stand the thought of waiting on his sleek black blades.

“I’m sorry,” Diessa announced, standing up and straightening her frock. The Old Man was recovering and Diessa had temporarily assumed his duties. Karn lay at rest before her and was stubbornly refusing to get up. “I cannot seem to _raise_ him.”

“What, he’s refusing to come back?” Wulf had some experience-- second hand mind you, second hand only, praise Moradin!-- with the whole after-life business. Apparently the soul could refuse the calling. Wulf found it very hard indeed to believe that the lure of Moradin’s halls could outshine his own growing Forge. “Yer told him Wulf needs him back, right? Can’t just leave work unfinished… That ain’t right…”

“No, no,” said Diessa, frowning. “It’s something else entirely. I sense that he _wants_ to return, but for some reason he _cannot_. It’s very puzzling.”

“Oh, for the love of… Right. Look, we’ll sort it out tomorrow.” He wished again he had Dorn “The Divine Oracle” Ironfist handy. “I’m gonna need a _commune_, lady. Tell Moradin I’ll be callin’ on him!”

Wulf was getting bloody tired of relying on other lack-wit spellcasters and for some time he’d been secretly working out the details himself. He had a small collection of scrolls “borrowed” from Dorn, Karak, even Keldas. He’d made some progress deciphering the scrolls but had to admit that he just lacked the “knack” for the whole business.

“Well,” he thought. “Where yer lack talent, yer just bull on through, as father used to say.” 

(On reflection, he didn’t think his father was being entirely complimentary.)

Wulf collared one of Keldas’ apprentices and had him whip up a _wand of read magic_. “Now if I can just get this ferkin’ thing workin’,” he said, whipping the wand violently through the air, tapping it and rapping it and _pounding_ the bloody thing on his paper strewn table, “We’ll be in business.”

The wand fizzled and zapped for a moment before finally exploding with a cloud of light. When the motes stopped dancing before his eyes, Wulf looked down on his scrolls with newfound clarity. “Ach. Now we’re rockin!” He grabbed Keldas’ _teleport_ scroll and quickly skimmed it. “Ahh… Right. Good enough. Next!”

Morning finally arrived and Wulf staggered bleary-eyed into the great hall where the group was assembled, including many reverential dwarves who had come to see Diessa perform the miracle of _commune_. “I am ready,” she advised. “You have nine questions.”

Diessa’s eyes had rolled back in her head and a glow like forge-fire surrounded her. Wulf knew that, when next she spoke, it would be the booming voice of divine authority. If Wulf ever entertained romantic notions about Diessa, seeing her body, mind, and soul possessed by the great, hairy, hoary, omnipotent, and capricious Moradin cured him of that. 

Wulf blinked away that disturbing image and concentrated on his first question.

“Is the soul of Karn being restrained?” *YES*

“By another Power?” *NO*

Wulf’s suspicions turned immediately to his stubbornly un-slaughtered foes, Rourmed, Engram, and by implication, Imperagon. 

“Is the soul of Karn being restrained on Acheron?” *YES*

“Against his will?” *YES*

“Are the souls of other dwarves similarly restrained?” *YES*

“Are these souls restrained by Imperagon?” *YES*

Six questions down, and Wulf hadn’t learned anything a healthy case of paranoia couldn’t have told him anyway. Time for pragmatism.

“Is Imperagon a fiend?” *NO*

Wulf shrugged. _Dead man walkin’, all the same._

“Is it yer will that we rescue these souls?” *HOW GOOD OF YOU TO VOLUNTEER.*

Wulf steamed visibly. He hated-- he _loathed_--  being a pawn of the gods, or anyone else. What’s more, he reckoned if the gods wanted to jerk him around, the least they could do is be a little more forthcoming with the pertinent info.

“I’m done playin’ guessing games… Anybody got any suggestions for this last question?” Wulf stared around at their faces and detected the same hint of resignation that he was sure reflected in his own face. Karak, in fact, looked almost _eager_. 

_Oh, I get it. Home-town boy, huh?_

Wulf turned to face the Moradin-thing for his last question. He shrugged. As long as he had access to Moradin and a hall full of onlookers, he might as well get his opinion on one last nagging question. Sort of settle the matter once and for all.

“Is Karak a big nancy-boy or what?”

There was a long pause. No, surely not a long pause as gods must measure time, but long enough for Wulf to notice it. 

_He’d stumped Moradin._

Well, maybe not stumped, exactly, but he certainly got his attention. Wulf certainly wasn’t the type to sit around debating theological points, but somewhere in midst of that interminable pause it occurred to him that stumping or even merely _ surprising_ the gods sort of put a kink in their whole “omniscience” schtick.

*”HE’S TYR’S PROBLEM. ASK TYR.”*

Another pause, and then:

*”SEEK YOUR PATH IN RIGUS, IN THE OUTLANDS.”*

**

Ahh, plane-hopping. The party scrambled to dig up some details on their impending journey. Shorty did most of the leg- and brain-work; he was enjoying it more than Wulf was comfortable with.

The Outlands, they discovered, were a huge, flat, featureless, grey, and absolutely neutral plane. On the edges of the Outlands, where they bordered the outer planes, the area started to pick up characteristics of the nearby outer planes.

Rigus was a small city on the border with Acheron. 

“So all we have to do,” explained Shorty, “is _plane shift_ into the Outlands and head to Rigus.”

“Aren’t the Outlands essentially infinite, though? There’s no telling where we will end up.”

“Well, once we get to the Outlands, we can _teleport_ to Rigus-- or damn near, anyway.” Shorty shrugged. “If we get it wrong we just _teleport_ again.”

“Nothin’ to worry about in the Outlands?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. Closer to Rigus, closer to Acheron, might be bad. We’d want to stay sharp there.”

“What’s Acheron like?”

“All my references describe it simply as ‘oppressive structure.’”

“I’m not good with structure,” Wulf growled.

**

Rigus, so near to Acheron, was itself a place of oppressive structure. The town was surrounded by a huge iron wall, and inside Wulf could see rows upon rows of featureless buildings, each perfectly square. 

The gate was guarded by four humans and a near-human that Wulf guessed to be an aasimar. He dug an elbow into Karak’s side. “Assmar. Just like yer… ooh, sorry.”

The aasimar wasted no time showering the group with his disdain and laying down the ground rules, the first of which was that ignorance of the law was no defense. Second, “troublemakers” would be dealt with harshly. At this point Wulf only compounded his problem by tuning out the rest of the aasimar’s speech entirely.

_Pointless drivel,_ he thought. _If they’re gonna get me, they’re gonna get me. No sense walkin’ around on eggshells in the meantime._

Eventually the group was waved through, and they arrived at their inn, _The Twin Stars_, at precisely 4:00 in the afternoon. Shorty seemed oddly comfortable, arranging their rooms without hesitation. 

“Rooms are 10 gold pieces a night…” said the innkeep.

“TEN GOLD!?” Wulf bellowed. His eyes bulged in genuine shock. “Yer get a hand job with that?”

Wulf reeled away to the common room to spend his coin on something that was actually worth the price: the local fare. He’d left most of his money behind at the forge, keeping only a small travelling sum of about 500 gold with him. Clearly, it wasn’t going to go far. What with the assmar at the gate and the crazy rip-off pricing he was starting to hate the outer planes.

Of course, he’d suspected he might.

Shorty went out during what was left of the daylight hours-- the guard gate had warned them in advance that the sun fell at _precisely_ 6 PM every evening-- to gather more information from the inhabitants of the city. It was a crucial bit of investigation by the halfling, as the party really had no leads on Imperagon other than a half-assed divination to seek their path in Rigus.

Before long Shorty had gathered a little more information about Acheron, Rigus, and Imperagon specifically. The nearest gate to Acheron opened onto a huge metal planetoid called the _Battlecube._ Wulf was probably the only one who looked forward to a place called the Battlecube, but nobody had any better suggestion for entering Acheron with any sense of their bearings.

As for Imperagon, Shorty got a hot tip that an arms merchant by the name of Verachus had some dealings with Imperagon.

Without delay, they set out to find Verachus.

The party walked calmly but resolutely through the impeccable streets. It was not long before Wulf noticed that they were being shadowed. Down a featureless alley between the equally bland square buildings, Wulf got a glimpse of two silvery lions, heading in the same general direction as the group. At each intersection of street and alley Wulf could see them, keeping pace right alongside them.

“Screw this,” said Wulf. “Follow me. If we’re gonna play cat and mouse, I’m gonna be the goddam _cat_.”

Wulf veered off down the alley, directly towards the two lions. As they got closer, Wulf could see that they were made of some kind of metal, like the skin of a gorgon, a golem, or some kind of clockwork. But as to what they _really_ were, Wulf knew bugger all.

If there was an intelligence behind them, it was amazingly casual. The lions stalked right past Wulf and company and did not so much as look around as the dwarf swung into the street behind them. They just kept right on walking, wherever they were headed.

“Well, what now?” asked Keldas.

Wulf briefly considered the possibility that these steel lions might be some sort of local patrol, a kind of clockwork watchdog on the lookout for troublemakers.

Briefly, he considered that. But his instincts knew better. “Ferkit, let’s follow ‘em. See how long they wanna play.”

Now the party stalked along behind the lions, following through twists and turns, though the lions never tried to lose them—indeed, they hardly seemed to notice them at all. Just as the party was about to give up, just as Wulf was about to second-guess himself, the lions glided to a stop outside a blacksmith’s shop.

“Uh oh…” said Shorty, though before the utterance had even crossed his lips the lions had turned towards the shop, leaping through the door in a shower of splinters.

Wulf was surprised to find axe and dagger in his hands, and his boots rang on the pavement as he sprinted to close the distance between himself and the shop. He was dimly aware of Karak shouting behind them, “The laws strictly forbid vigilantism!”

Wulf skidded to a stop in front of the shattered doorway. The lions were already scattering the remains of the smith around his small shop. There wasn’t much left of the poor fellow-- though it was plain to Wulf the victim was a dwarf.

Wulf’s face flushed red with anger and yet somehow he heard the paladin shouting behind him, “You cannot draw steel except to defend yourself!”

Wulf snarled and stepped into the doorway. _Fine, yer want out, yer comin’ through me,_ he thought. He yelled to Karak who’d finally reached his side, “Block the door!”

The lions didn’t seem concerned in the least. The one closest to the door opened its mouth and an ear-splitting roar washed over them. It wasn’t something Wulf could dodge, and he took the full brunt of it. His ears were still ringing when the second lion leaped over its partner and dragged Wulf into the smithy with both paws. Wulf thanked the gods for his long coat of mail as he felt the thing’s rear legs scrabbling across his guts.

_Oh gods, that hurts,_ he thought. _Can’t take even one more hit like that. _

Wulf tumbled out of its grasp and took a swipe at it with _Taranak_. The blade bounced off harmlessly and Wulf switched his stance, now advancing sinister with the bone dagger in his other hand. “Somebody kill this prick before it kills me…”

Shorty pelted the area with an _ice storm._ “Crap,” yelled Wulf. “Can’t dodge that, you know!”

Karak still stood at the door, clearly torn among several difficult decisions. His hand hovered briefly over the hilt of his sword before he swung it out and stepped up to flank the first lion with Wulf-- but still he wasn’t sure. Wulf slammed his dagger into the ass-end of the creature and that, too, slid harmlessly off its metal flanks.

“Should I use my scroll of _Holy Sword_?” asked Karak.

Wulf brandished the two apparently useless weapons in his own hands. “YES!”

The lions roared again, this time in tandem, catching everyone but Wulf in dual cones of sound. Shorty was completely deafened by the blast and obviously having trouble spellcasting. Keldas, clearly a little more practiced, called up a crackling green bolt from his fingertip and managed to _disintegrate_ one of the lions.

Shorty and Alliane were whimpering and limping away, and Karak, who was in no great shape himself, finally acted. One more roar would probably kill two or three of them. He read his scroll and his sword burst forth with brilliant holy energy. Karak stood to his full height in the doorway, challenging the lion to get past. The creature advanced on Karak, who _smited_ it across the chops. The blow should have cleft the thing in two but it merely shook its sleek head and kept coming. It pounced, dragging the paladin to his knees.

As if he’d been waiting for the opportunity, Keldas used another of his tricks that was proving more and more successful: _Hold Monster_. Wulf thought the lion creatures were still firmly in the “golem” column, and didn’t have high hopes for Keldas’ spell-- but it worked! The creature stiffened up and fell over with a ponderous crunch.

Wulf sheathed his weapons with lightning speed and yanked a length of sturdy rope from his haversack. In no time flat he had the thing expertly trussed-- though it had been some time since Wulf had practiced with his knots, and he was less than sure that mere silk rope would hold the thing for long.

Shorty, Alliane, and Keldas joined them in the room, and the town watch was hot on their heels, drawn by the sound of battle. The assmar from the front gate was with them. “WHAT IN THE SEVEN HEAVENS IS GOING ON HERE?”

Wulf looked around-- at the gore-spattered remains of the blacksmith, at Shorty, Keldas, and Alliane sitting quietly and nursing their wounds, and at Karak, standing in the center of the room brandishing a holy sword that still shone like the north star.

“Ahhh…” he expertly lied, “the paladin here went crazy, see....”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part II*

Shorty, Alliane, and Keldas joined them in the room, and the town watch was hot on their heels, drawn by the sound of battle. The assmar from the front gate was with them. “WHAT IN THE SEVEN HEAVENS IS GOING ON HERE?”

Wulf looked around-- at the gore-spattered remains of the blacksmith, at Shorty, Keldas, and Alliane sitting quietly and nursing their wounds, and at Karak, standing in the center of the room brandishing a holy sword that still shone like the north star.

“Ahhh…” he expertly lied, “the paladin here went crazy, see.... but we reigned him in and took this ‘un alive.” Wulf booted the critter and it stirred ever so slightly. 

Wulf’s blatant lie seemed genuine enough-- from the right perspective. The aasimar raised an eyebrow, clearly aware that Wulf was lying and making the logical assumption that he was deliberately trying to stir up trouble for Karak.

Keldas smoothly stepped in to take over with just enough of the truth to sweeten the deception. He thought it best not to even mention its _disintegrated_ counterpart, but he stayed as close as possible to what had really happened. “We found this creature attacking the keeper of this shop. We were too late to save the poor shopkeep, but we did our best to take the culprit alive.”

The aasimar seemed satisfied with the evidence at hand. “Don’t stray from the city and keep yourselves available at the inn. We may have additional questions for you.” He gestured to his men to drag away the captive.

“Poor Verachus…” muttered Shorty.

The aasimar turned, laughing, as he departed. “This isn’t Verachus,” he said. “Verachus is an efreet, and, believe me, more than a match for any assassin.”

“Well,” Wulf mused, standing patiently while Alliane attended to his wounds with a wand of healing, “let’s check it out tomorrow. I’ve had enough for one day.”

“I say we press on!” said Karak.

“What’s yer hurry? Assmar just told us Verachus is safe.”

Karak started to cast his eyes down, almost sheepishly, then looked up. Now, his eyes were blazing. “I have accepted a _quest_ from my church. I must eliminate Imperagon!” 

The paladin looked around at the incredulous faces of his companions. “Of course, you guys are welcome to join me.”

“Bloody friggin’ gracious of yer.” Wulf knew a bit about _quests_ and _geases_. Why anyone would willingly accept a debilitating disease to run some other fool’s errand, he had no idea. “Well… Those lion things were no fun. We got no weapons to match ‘em. I say we head home for… oh, a month, two months, yer know, make summat ‘at can hurt ‘em.”

Shorty joined in. “Sounds like a plan to me, too.”

Wulf kept on. “Well,” he said, shaking the paladin’s hand. “Good luck with all _that_.”

The group headed for the inn, leaving the paladin sputtering and muttering in disbelief. “Hey!” he yelled, running after them.

“Calm down,” said Keldas. “They’re only kidding.”

“Ach… right, I suppose so,” said Wulf. 

“Let’s go talk to the genie,” suggested Shorty.

“Do me a favor,” said Wulf, nodding. “When we meet him, call him a genie.”

**

They came upon Verachus as he was closing up his shop. The efreet, with flaming hair and shining brass-colored robes, sat arrogantly astride an enormous, horned, 12-legged wurm. His fire giant bodyguard stood up from locking the door, then crossed his arms and did his best to look imposing.

Wulf looked up beneath the fire giant's steel-plated kilt. "Guess it ain't true what they say about giants after all. We’re lookin’ for Verachus.”

“Verachus does not deal with ignorant primes,” sneered the efreet.

“That so?” asked Wulf, suddenly inspired to kick his teeth down his throat. _Giant, no problem. Behir, no problem. Might kill Shorty and Keldas, though. Efreet could be unpleasant if he’s got any spells._ “Perhaps Verachus deals with Imperagon, then?”

Judging from the look on Verachus’ face, he _clearly_ had some dealings with Imperagon. They had his attention now. “Come by at noon tomorrow, when Verachus’ shop is open. We will talk further.”

Wulf shrugged, oblivious to any duplicity. “Ok.” He waited until Verachus and his menagerie had walked off. “Don’t think I coulda took another second o’ listenin’ to him refer to himself in the third person. Halma had better grammar, for cryin’ out loud.”

Shorty hopped from foot to foot. “Guess we head back to the inn, then?”

**

The night passed uneventfully. No scrying, no unexpected assassins sent by either Imperagon or Verachus.

They gathered up and discussed what to do with their morning. Wulf would have preferred to head back to the forge but was content to search Rigus for the supplies he needed.

“Keldas’ spellbook is in dire need of _Greater Magic Whuppin’_-- at least till Dorn rejoins us. Let’s find a scroll shop. Anybody got the cash?”

Keldas nodded. “I brought all my gold. I have a few thousand.”

Wulf wanted to thump him. “Yer outta leave that behind at the forge where it’s safe. Then again, can’t hardly complain about it right now.”

Shorty helped them find a scroll shop, though they were disappointed to find the shopkeep had only two scrolls-- and at inflated prices. Wulf figured that _greater magic weapon_ was in pretty high demand in the outer planes, what with everybody and their brother having some kind of immunity. He bristled at the high price, but it couldn’t be helped. The shopkeep could tell he had them over a barrel.

They bought the two scrolls, one for scribing into Keldas’ spellbook, one as a backup, and headed out to meet Verachus. They found him waiting in his shop-- his enormous shop, with room for an efreet and a fire giant to easily work inside. 

If Wulf’s skill at diplomacy had taught him anything, it was that an honest and direct approach worked best. “Well, we’re lookin’ to kill Imperagon. Hope yer not working with him cause that would just mean we’d have to kill yer too. So… ahh… where can we find him?”

“Imperagon is no ally of Verachus. You will find him in Avalas, in a cube known only as ‘The Lost Cube.’ It is so called because it has no gates that lead directly to it.”

Wulf nodded, indicating that Verachus should go on.

“Now as to what you can do for Verachus… Imperagon has stolen a large amount of adamantine from me.”

Wulf felt the familiar stirring in his pants-- err, in his soul, rather-- at the mention of the precious ore.

“This is no small sum,” said Verachus, doing calculations in his head. “About 200,000 of your gold crowns’ worth of ore. Verachus would very much like it returned, without any particular consideration of the methods.”

Wulf jumped, perhaps a bit too eagerly, at the opportunity. “No problem.”

Verachus was suddenly suspicious. “Perhaps some insurance is appropriate…” He began casting.

Keldas interrupted him. “You can’t come off any worse. Either Imperagon will have your ore or we will.” He paused. “And if you try to cast _Geas_ on me I’ll kill you now.”

Verachus held up his hands in a peaceful gesture, then turned to the fire giant. “Snurreson?”

“I wish that if they attempt to betray you in any way, you will immediately know.”

Verachus seemed satisfied, as did Wulf. He was really more interested in killing Imperagon than in the adamantine. He didn’t have any plans to betray Verachus.

Verachus handed Keldas a small crystal rod. “You will want to enter Acheron via the Battlecube. From there, this crystal rod will point the way to Imperagon’s Lost Cube. Return here when you have the ore.”

**

The party walked through Rigus and exited out the other side, crossing a bit more of the outlands until they reached the gate to the Battlecube. The gate was an enormous arch, at least 50’ high by Wulf’s reckoning, and made entirely of bleached bone piled up and fused together by some unholy magic.

“Oh,” Keldas understated.

“Ready?” said Wulf.

They stepped through. 

The Battlecube was an enormous flat plane of hard, black iron. In the distance they could hear the sounds of battle: weapons rang, foes shouted, others cried out in agony. It would have been an experience to remember had they not been distracted by what they faced as soon as they stepped through the gate.

An enormous spider, as big as a summer cottage, 40 feet across from side to side, scuttled forwards, towering over them. Wulf craned his neck up to take in the entire gargantuan monstrosity. Atop its back sat a female drow, riding easily and confidently atop the hairy, lurching platform.

Wulf tensed. He couldn’t see Keldas,  but he could almost sense the hairs standing up on the elf’s neck.

“Step aside,” the drow announced from her high perch. “I would use the gate...”

Keldas stood fast in front of the gate. “Who do you serve?”

“’Whom’,” Wulf whispered. “And don’t be an ass.”

“I serve my own interests,” the drow replied. “Now, will you step aside?”

“NO.”

_Deeper Darkness_ fell across the group, but at least a few among them knew what Keldas’ inevitable stupid decision would be, so they were ready. Shorty responded immediately by dispelling the darkness, just in time for Wulf to see the spider looming over Keldas. 

Wulf grabbed the elf from behind and spun him around, putting his own back to the spider and doing his best to shield Keldas. He felt huge fangs sink into his back, where the neckline of his chain shirt left his flesh exposed. So close to the throbbing arteries in his neck, there was little Wulf could do to resist the poison. _Sons of Odin,_ he thought, _it burns like hellfire!_ 

Wulf’s knees felt like jelly and it was all he could do to quickdraw his daggers. He turned and backhanded them towards the drow, but the poison in his veins was eating his muscles alive-- and it wasn’t exactly taking its time about it. All three daggers fell short or bounced away harmlessly.

Loyal drew and fired three times, each shot nailing the spider dead on-- and glancing harmlessly off its hide.

_Not good. It’s infernal._

Clearly not one to take any chances, the drow cast a _flame strike_ on the group and centered it directly on Loyal-- catching Keldas and Alliane as a bonus. Wulf managed to dodge the blast and Keldas and Alliane did their best, but Loyal was caught completely off guard. He took the full force of the blast. He staggered on his feet for a moment, teetering on the brink of sudden death, drawing desperately on a deep hidden well of elven fortitude.

Well, perhaps more accurately, lapping desperately at the puddle of elven fortitude. At any rate, despite the power of the blast, he somehow held on.

Keldas straightened his robes where Wulf had roughly grabbed him and cast _mass haste_. He was still within reach of the spider-- a spider that big, Wulf figured, had a reach of 15 or 20 feet!-- but he cast defensively and immediately chained into a second spell, a _hold monster_ for the spider. Unfortunately, the infernal spider was a little more clever than Keldas gave him credit for. This time, the spider read the elf’s movements and lunged at him unexpectedly. Keldas skipped back out of the way-- but it was enough. He lost his concentration and his spell fizzled. 

From deep in the back ranks Alliane acted, first with a _flame strike_ that caught both drow and spider, then with a _divine storm_ of whirling blades that hovered high in the air and sliced through both enemies at an angle. To Wulf’s eye, it was obvious that the spider ignored both spells. 

“Take out the weak link!” Wulf shouted. “Drow first!”

Loyal responded by stapling the drow with three arrows in rapid succession. Shorty was next, first casting a _spectral hand_ then blasting the priestess with a _brutal seething surge_. Wulf had seen this new trick of Shorty’s a couple of times. It wasn’t pleasant in the best of circumstances, but Shorty had managed to work his _spectral hand_ into a critical spot before unleashing the surge. It seethed. Brutally. The drow fell dead in crispy blasted tatters.

Though it was now on its own, the spider moved with unnerving intelligence, leaving the entire group to wonder exactly who was enthralled to whom in drow-spider relations. The spider raised its bulk high over the group, moving out of the divine storm so that it could sink its fangs into Alliane.

Wulf knew from first-hand experience, but the super-concentrated poison of the infernal spider came as a shock to the rest of the group, starting with Alliane. She spasmed for only the briefest of moments before collapsing. In mere seconds every muscle in her body was useless.

Seeing the lady go down, Karak charged in, bellowing his usual “SMITE!” warcry. Of course, he didn’t figure on the spider’s reach, and as he moved within its range it sank its fangs deep into his flesh. Karak’s luck was little better than Alliane’s. His strength vanished, and though he managed to complete his charge, he struck the spider with all the ferocity of a mewling babe.

Then he collapsed under the weight of his own plate mail.

As the paladin lay there on his back, his arms and legs flailing feebly, Wulf couldn’t help drawing the comparison again: Karak looked like he needed someone to change his nappy.

Keldas summoned a celestial dire bear to attack the spider from behind while Wulf stepped up to flank it. With Loyal’s arrows providing a distraction, Wulf managed to land four solid blows on the spider-- two with _Taranak_, two with the dagger. The spider ignored the flames from _Taranak_, indeed it ignored both blades for the most part, but Wulf had managed to work both of them into tender spots on the creature’s belly. It couldn’t ignore _that_.

Still the spider acted with uncanny intelligence. Perhaps, like Wulf and his companions, it knew to concentrate on the weak link. Perhaps it ignored Wulf because the sturdy dwarf was the only one among the group to have taken the spider’s poison and stayed on his feet.

But it chose to attack Karak, and so Wulf chose to imagine that, whatever intelligence lurked behind those multifaceted eyes… well, this spider had a sense of humor:

The spider _smited_ Karak. 

The fangs sunk deep but the bite didn’t kill him. The smite didn’t kill him. It was the poison that did the work. Karak was finally completely paralyzed, as helpless as Alliane. 

More worthless than the peck on a bad day.

“Goddamn yer!” Wulf shouted. “It’s just poison! Are yer even _tryin’_ to resist it?”

Using Wulf as a distraction, the paladin managed to activate his _helm of teleportation_ by thought alone. He teleported away, about thirty feet, just enough to take himself out of harm’s way.

“Ach! Yer complete puss!”

Never one to let his emotions get in the way, Keldas moved blithely along, stepping up to cast _greater magic weapon_ on Loyal’s quiver. While Shorty’s _spectral hand_ chased the spider around with _brutal seething surge_, Loyal filled it full of arrows: four solid hits. The spider noticed Loyal anew. Those arrows bit _deep_.

The spider leapt away from from Wulf and the dire bear and closed in on Loyal. One gargantuan bite later and Loyal was staggered-- he couldn’t resist the poison either, and although it didn’t take his strength out completely, he’d simply had enough, what with the _flame strike_ from before, that he settled on discretion. He fell over and played dead.

They were down to Wulf, Keldas, and Shorty-- and Wulf wasn’t counting on the two mages sticking around if things got any worse. He tumbled through the spider’s tree-like legs and came face to face with it. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep it at bay, and once again the spider sank its fangs deep into Wulf’s flesh. Wulf grit his teeth and somehow-- perhaps by his great fortitude, perhaps by his dwarven resistance, perhaps by sheer force of will alone-- managed to fight off the effects of the poison. Wulf waited the briefest of moments while the dire bear lumbered up into flanking position with the spider.

Thousands of axes and daggers glimmered in the spider’s eyes as Wulf suddenly sprang to action, hacking and stabbing. Indeed to the spider it may have seemed like an army of thousands was at work on his underbelly. The spider was split open and collapsed like an enormous, rotten plum.

Wulf bent over with his hands on his knees. He could feel the poison still coursing through his veins. “Comin’ again...”

Keldas grabbed Shorty and started pulling off rings and cloaks to aid Wulf’s resistance, but he waved them away. “Nah, I got it… Just a little spider bite, right?” After a minute of intense agony, Wulf finally stood. He could use a _restoration_, sure, but the poison had spread so far through his body that, in dispersed doses, he’d fought it off. 

Wulf looked up to see Keldas standing up from the body of the drow. He’d sorted her magical belongings into a neat pile and as he stood, the elf tucked a scrap of paper into his sleeve. Wulf caught only the briefest of glimpses before the scrap disappeared. It didn’t mean anything to him but it clearly meant something to Keldas. The scrap said, “KOLYORAL.” It was nonsense to Wulf and so, therefore, _file and forget_. He had other things on his mind, anyway. He started dragging his fallen comrades back towards the gate to Rigus.

“Yer complete an’ utter prick…” Wulf muttered to Keldas. “Get it through yer head now, we’re gonna meet a lot of unpleasant folk out here. An’ some of ‘em yer just gonna have to ignore, right? Between yer and Karak I reckon we’ll be pickin’ fights with every pit fiend an’ ‘is brother before this is all over.”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part III*

Stopping only briefly to loot the fallen priestess, they returned to Rigus to lick their wounds. Once they were safely back in the Twin Stars inn, they took a closer look at the loot. 

A chain shirt, a buckler, some potions. Alliane identified a scroll of _heal_ that Wulf discreetly tucked into his belt. _See if I can’t figure that out later…_

No one noticed. Alliane had already moved on to the drow’s wand. “_Bull’s Strength_,” she announced. “And plenty of charges. That will come in handy.”

Wulf nodded as he cinched up the buckler and strapped it across his left forearm. “Not the sort o’ thing I’d waste time and money makin’ myself, but a nice little bonus.” He flexed his buckler arm once or twice and did some practice draws from the wide band of daggers across his chest. 

“I guess we probably want to sell this,” said Karak. He was turning the drow’s light mace over and over in his hands. The top of the mace was rather unsubtly tipped with the multi-pointed star of chaos.

“Like hell we do,” said Wulf, snatching the mace away and looping it through his belt alongside his growing collection of oddball weapons. “I reckon that’ll be handy out here in lawful-lawful land.”

*****

The following day they risked their luck at the gate again. Moving through the bone portal they arrived in Acheron, care of the Battlecube once more.

“Well,” said Wulf. “Guess we try to teleport from here to the Lost Cube, right?”

“Sight unseen?” Keldas was alternately looking down at Verachus’ crystal, then scanning the grey skies of Acheron for Imperagon’s cube. They could see other cubes flying through the void, but it was impossible to tell them apart. What’s more, there wasn’t any good way to gauge distances: what could appear to be a large cube many miles away could in fact be a small cube fairly close.

Wulf shrugged. “Yer got a better idea? I’m game.”

“Come on,” said Shorty, “What’s the worst that can happen?”

*****

Their first attempt was wildly off. 

They found themselves standing on the featureless flat plane of a floating cube-- not _their_ cube, of course, not the one they were looking for, but a cube that had apparently been selected as a battleground by warring factions.

A boulder skidded past them, striking sparks off the iron. “Giants!” yelled Wulf.

The party had arrived in the midst of a battle-- actually, physically, between fire giants on the one side and frost giants on the other. Shorty immediately began casting, thinking he’d blow a few giants to smithereens without being particularly fussy about which side he chipped in on. 

Wulf stayed his arm. “We need to get out of here… NOW.”

“You don’t think we can take them?”

Wulf looked around. The battle was in full pitch, with dozens of giants on either side. “Trust me on this.”

They teleported again, trying once more for Imperagon’s so-called Lost Cube.

*****

Keldas sat uncomfortably on Shorty’s small flying carpet and bent to peer around Alliane, who herself was seated uncomfortably between her cousin’s legs. Behind her on the 5’x9’ carpet was Loyal, and he had Shorty in his lap.

All in all, it was a little too chummy for Wulf’s tastes-- sittin’ lapsies with the cohorts. He was grateful for the _wings of flying_ he’d inherited from the peck. Karak hovered nearby on his own set of wings and waited for Keldas to give the word.

“Well,” he said. “That’s the right cube. I’d say it’s about a 100 miles out. Shall we?”

The party flew ahead through the featureless sky of Acheron, and the Lost Cube loomed slowly larger. They had covered about half the distance when Keldas suddenly shouted a warning. “There’s something…”

“Over there…” Wulf finished for him.

Before they could truly register the threat, a pair of spectres materialized around Karak and drained a good chunk of his life-force. 

Wulf drew his bone-handled dagger-- the one he’d picked up in Nightfang Spire, the dread bane of ghostly creatures . “I hope yer still got that bastard sword I gave yer, assmar…”

“I have it! I have it!” the paladin swore. 

Unfortunately, their weapons would be of little use to them. Materializing out of the mists came two dark, winged horrors, the likes of which none of them had ever seen. The creatures chuckled to themselves as the party’s surprise and horror turned to full-fledged magical _confusion_. Wulf stood dumb-struck for several precious moments, looking back and forth between the dark horrors and Karak, unsure of who to attack. Something deep inside him hoped the paladin would stray within reach of his blade, and he chuckled to himself, echoing the mad laughter of the dark horrors.

Wulf watched as Keldas, Loyal, and Shorty succumbed to the confusion as well. Alliane leapt off Shorty’s carpet and hovered in the air beside it. You couldn’t really “fall” in Acheron, but neither was she able to move. She bailed out just in time as Shorty, in command of the carpet, decided to wander away. The spectres moved in to Alliane and began draining her lifeforce as well.

More importantly, they drained away memory of certain key spells, not the least of which was her _plane shift_. 

The carpet sailed off with Loyal, Keldas, and Shorty on board, and the dark horrors followed. Leaving the spectres behind to deal with Wulf, Alliane, and Karak, the creatures flew alonside the carpet, swiping at Loyal from time to time with wicked talons. Their laughter increased in intensity as the entire party of seasoned adventurers was completely incapacitated by their _confusion_ ability.

In a dim corner of Wulf’s mind he registered all this. Frankly he couldn’t believe that Keldas and Shorty both had lacked the will to resist the effect, yet he could still see them out there, sailing away into the distant skies of Acheron. Loyal sat on the carpet, eyes blank, doing nothing even as the dark horrors shredded him bit by bit. 

Eventually Loyal had enough. He stood and drew his bow, nocked an arrow, and fired. 

At Keldas. 

_We are so dead,_ thought Wulf. Still he sat dumbfounded. His hands itched to attack something. Anything. Just let the paladin get a little closer…

Karak did just that. Grabbing Alliane by the scruff of her neck, he dragged her over to Wulf. Then he grabbed Wulf and unceremoniously teleported the three of them the hell out of dodge.

While half the party cooled their heels and counted their blessings back at the gate to Acheron, things got worse for Keldas, Shorty, and Loyal. Before Keldas made up his mind to attack Loyal, the elf archer finally pitched face-first onto the carpet, bleeding out from the wounds of the winged horrors. They’d fled for nearly a full minute, and though they easily outpaced the spectres, the horrors had kept up with them, occasionally unleashing “bursts” of confusion on their hapless prey. By the time Shorty had finally had enough of wandering away aimlessly, he was “re-confused”—and, unfortunately, clearly pissed.

Loyal lay dying on the carpet before him and Shorty lashed out at the nearest enemy: Keldas. 

Firing up a _brutal seething surge_, the little peck’s hand shot out and grabbed Keldas in the most uncomfortable of places. Massive energies pulsed through the link, and had it not been for Keldas’ _energy buffer_, he’d have easily been slain by this single spell. 

Keldas’ thrice-addled mind concocted an appropriate response:

He fired a _disintegrate_ ray into Shorty’s face.

Fortunately, halflings are made of sterner stuff than most-- or so it’s said-- and Shorty looked ready for more. This realization slowly seeped in to Keldas and he backed up, stepping off the carpet to float in midair.

Shorty’s brain struggled with options: Kill the elf? Kill those winged things? In the end, he decided once again to simply wander away. The carpet took off like a shot and Keldas was left hanging in mid-air to face the horrors alone.

Fortunately, Loyal’s wounds were not as bad as they appeared, and before long he stabilized and his breathing returned to normal. By the time Shorty regained his senses, Keldas was a thousand yards away. Sadly, Shorty could do nothing but _teleport_ to safety.

*****

In the interim, however, Wulf had not been idle. He roughly shoved a scroll of _plane shift_ into Alliane’s hands, and with Karak’s helmet the three of them were soon back in the Forge.

The Old Man hardly seemed surprised to see them. “You look like you just walked off a battlefield in Acheron,” he deadpanned.

“No time for jokes, Old Man! We need a _miracle_ and we need it now!”

“Ahh, as you know…”

“Right, right, 28,000… We’ll settle up later. Bring Keldas, Shorty, and Loyal back here before it’s too late.”

“Are they dead?”

“Dead or alive, don’t care, just _wish_ ‘em home.”

“_Miracle._”

“Whatever. They WILL be dead if you don’t move yer ass.”

All things considered, it was a simple _Miracle_. They weren’t unravelling time or raising folks back to life. Wulf figured if they acted quickly enough, it wasn’t all that much more complicated than a planar summons. And it worked: Their three companions were returned to them, bodies, gear, and all. 

“How did you defeat those winged horrors?” Shorty immediately blurted out.

 “I didn’t. They were taking their time with me.” Keldas frowned. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Bet they were sorry to see yer go… Ach, by the way, yer owe the old man here twenny-eight large.”

*****

After a brief rest (and one more misadventure with some infernal rocs) the party finally managed to set foot on Imperagon’s so-called Lost Cube. A flat iron plane stretched off for hundreds of miles in every direction. There was no sign of any “Iron Fortress.”

Wulf thought for a moment. “Right… Let’s head to the corner, then we can peek over and scan three sides at once.”

They took to the sky and headed for the “southeast” corner. It took them the better part of the day-- or at least, what apparently passed for a day in Acheron-- before they reached the corner. Luck wasn’t with them. Shorty lay down to peer over the edge and reported the disappointing news. 

“No tower. What now?”

“Reckon we head for the opposite corner and try again.”

It was a journey of several hundred miles back across the surface, covering acres they’d scanned already. There was a growing suspicion in Wulf’s mind that the side they wanted would be on the opposite face of the cube. Fortunately, before he could get work himself into a foul mood, they struck paydirt.

No, it wasn’t the Iron Fortress, but it would do. Below them on the surface of the cube, some sort of nasty scrap was going on. Wulf looked at both sides like he was scanning a menu and couldn’t decide what to order for his main course: Three formians were lined up in orderly fashion against three humanoids.

Like Wulf, Shorty was itching to let fly with something nasty. “Who do we blast? The bugs?”

“Not sure yet… Let’s get closer and give it a second to decide.”

Wulf was glad he’d waited. As they swooped closer the humanoid figures resolved into better clarity. They were fiends of some sort, and from the looks of the dead formians lying around, they were getting the better part of the deal. It took no time for the group to move into attack formation alongside the formians. 

As soon as they had closed the distance to the melee, the leader of the fiends stepped back, cackled madly, and belched forth a _power word: blind_. Keldas and Alliane were both temporarily blinded by the blast, but Shorty took the worst of it. With a flash and a bit of smoke, his eyes were completely vaporized. Loyal held on for dear life as Shorty wheeled the carpet around and flew off in full retreat. 

The other two fiends weren’t idle, either. They each blasted the area with a _chaos hammer_, pounding the formians and the two elves-- much to Wulf’s amusement, of course. Unfortunately they’d acted a bit too soon, otherwise they might have caught the paladin who came charging into their ranks to smite their leader. Wulf took the opportunity to dart past the three fiends and come up in a nice flanking position, his weapons hacking away in a blur of destruction.

Though blinded, Keldas stepped back slightly and polymorphed himself into an umber hulk. _Clever move,_ Wulf thought. _Tremorsense!_ Alliane, also blinded, back-pedalled out of the area just as another two _chaos hammers_ rained down on the group. This time, Keldas and Karak were caught, and they were both staggered by the blast-- again, much to Wulf’s amusement.

Wulf changed his tune a moment later when the formians unexpectedly countered with _Order’s Wrath_, leaving Wulf dazed for a moment. Through the haze over his eyes he saw Loyal grab control of Shorty’s carpet and come sailing around in a wide circle on their flank. Loyal had pushed Shorty to the front of the carpet, and though the little blind halfling should have been holding on for dear life, he was gritting his teeth, staring forward with his empty eye sockets, and casting.

“What the hell are yer doin’… oh, no…”

Wulf realized just in time what Loyal had in mind. He was already dodging before he heard Loyal shout, “Now, Shorty! Lighting bolt, dead ahead!”

The stroke of lightning would have caught Wulf had he not jumped at the last moment to hide behind the fiend’s leader. Karak finished the work they’d started, finally dropping the fiend’s leader. One of the hench-fiends, acting with military precision, dropped back from the front line to grab a potion from its belt. Wulf acted quickly as the fiend tried to pour the potion down the throat of their fallen leader. 

“Ach, no…” _Taranak_ lashed out and smashed the flask into a thousand pieces. The potion sizzled in the wake of the fiery axe.

Thinking they’d got the better of him, the second fiend stepped up to try the same trick. 

“No, again…” Another flask was smashed to pieces. Clearly, they’d underestimated Wulf’s combat reflexes. The dwarf with the fiery axe seemed to tower over their fallen leader, and there was nothing they could do but watch his life bleed away. Oddly enough, the fiends chuckled, a deep throaty sound that was oddly familiar. They continued chuckling and babbling even as Loyal and the formians cut them down. 

Wulf was genuinely surprised to see the “fiends” revert to their natural form as their bodies finally gave up the ghost.

_Slaadi!_ Wulf slapped his forehead in frustration. _I guess if I’d ‘a known that, I might’ve fought with ‘em._

But it was all for the best, as they soon discovered through Wulf’s canny interrogation.

“What yer doin’ out here?”

“We were on a hunting / reprisal raid versus the metallic cats,” came the nearly monotone reply. The party instantly recognized the metallic cats-- surely the same assassins that had been sent to Rigus. 

Wulf grinned his friendliest, most genuine grin. “Reckon we ought to talk, then. Take us to yer leader.”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV*

While they walked towards the formian lair, Wulf chatted with the ants to get a better feel for the metallic cat situation.

“How many yer killed?”

“A handful,” came the reply, though Wulf was left wondering what exactly a handful meant to a horse-sized ant.

“How many yer ever seen in one place at one time?”

“Two.”

Wulf raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s somethin’, then. We can take two.”

They rested briefly with the formians-- long enough to trade out Shorty (who was due for a rest, along with Loyal) and to meet up again with Dorn, newly arrived from the prime and fully updated by the Old Man.

Wulf shook his hand. He was clearly glad to see him. “What yer been up to?” 

“Crafting wands… Doin’ the temple thing...”

“Hmm,” Wulf grunted. “Well, right. Let’s take care of this cat business then.”

The formians directed them to the steel cats’ lair, and before long they found it: a faint path that eventually disappeared into the earth between two steep canyon walls. It was about 80 feet from the top of the walls to the cave mouth at the bottom. 

The group turned to look at Wulf, apparently under the impression that he was qualified (and expected) to do some sort of scouting. 

“Get in there and do it,” Dorn said. “You can take ‘em, right?”

“Well, all right,” he started, looking at Keldas. “_Invisibility_, please.”

Wulf winked out of sight, and Dorn felt a tap on his shoulder. “_Silence_, please.”

Wulf turned and pointed to the paladin. “Gimme yer shield.”

Karak ignored him. 

“Gimme the goddam shield.”

Karak continued to ignore him-- then jumped with surprise when Wulf wrenched the large Lion’s Head shield from his arm. Obviously, the invisibility and silence were working just fine. 

Even so, Wulf wasn’t taking any chances. He crept into the cave, every bit as quietly and stealthily as he could manage. The tunnel ran back about sixty feet before it horse-shoed and opened into a larger cave. Wulf crouched quietly by the opening, eyeing the occupants of the lair: three regular-sized steel cats and one _enormous_ friggin’ den mother. He sat and thought for a moment, remembering the way the cats had easily mauled him back in Rigus. True enough, this time _Taranak_ and his trusty bone dagger were enhanced by Dorn with _greater magic weapon_, but he wasn’t confident that if he was grappled again, he could overcome even one of the cats, let alone three, before he was ripped to pieces.

Outside the cave, Keldas stood over Dorn’s shoulder. “You’re scrying him, right?”

Dorn’s scrying sensor followed Wulf closely. He had taken flight with his _wings of flying_ and sailed up to the top of the cavern. He hovered over the largest of the creatures, trying to decide whether or not to pounce on it, when the largest creature suddenly lifted its smooth, steel, eyeless head and sniffed about. It could sense that something was up.

“Yes, I’m scrying him,” Dorn answered, “and getting a good chuckle out of it, too...”

One of the smaller steel cats suddenly got up and padded out of the cave. Wulf followed after it, furling his wings at the last minute to follow it into the narrow corridor. Wulf lost sight of it briefly as the creature rounded the bend. He was being careful to stay at least fifteen feet behind it, lest the radius of his _silence_ spell suddenly overlap the creature and give him away.

There was little need for his precautions. As he rounded the corner, the creature sprung at him from a narrow crevice. It struck him with unerring accuracy.

_Blindsight,_ Wulf thought. _Ferkin figures._ He swung his axe into the hide of the creature, and it bit deep. 

Wulf was expecting help at any moment from his friends outside, but it would have to wait. From the middle of nowhere a shadowy figure suddenly appeared, flanked by two dire tigers. The creature barked out an order and Wulf recognized the hobgoblin tongue. 

“Attack!” He punctuated his command by firing his bow at Alliane,  who hovered far above. The arrow struck her breastplate with such force that it nearly disappeared under her armor. Despite her grave wound, and eschewing her spells completely, Alliane drew her mace and charged the hobgoblin, dive-bombing him from above. She struck him a near-fatal blow and he staggered back a few steps.

The hobgoblin acted to shift the tide of battle. He drew a bead from within his vest and cast it down between his dire tiger pets. Immediately, the creatures grew to immense proportions. Wulf estimated them at twenty feet wide and sixty feet long-- or, measured in the common parlance of dwarven engineers, “Ferkin’ immense!”

The lead dire tiger now completely filled the width of the narrow valley leading to the cave, so Karak and Dorn rushed in before it could completely block it off. Dorn skidded to a halt as silence washed over him, then hopped back a couple of feet. Unfortunately, it put Karak up against his back with nowhere to run. 

Dorn could see Wulf standing several  feet away now, doing his best to hold back three of the steel cats. Suddenly, the enormous den mother appeared around the corner. Wulf sidestepped, putting putting the other steel cats between them, all the while hacking away with his axe for all he was worth. 

“This is real bad…” he observed silently.

It was getting quickly worse. Toe-to-toe with the hobgoblin, flanked by dire tigers, and nearly dead from a single arrow shot, Alliane decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Casting defensively, she _plane shifted_ back to the prime, leaving Keldas alone to face the hobgoblin and his enormous dire tigers. 

Enormous _awakened_ dire tigers, as it turned out. The tiger nearest the cave muttered something about “Play time!” then grabbed the paladin firmly in his mouth. An awful sense of déjà vu washed over the paladin as the tiger yanked him out of the cave mouth and lifted him straight up into Dorn’s _blade barrier_. The whirling blades sliced paladin and tiger equally but the tiger had a grin on its face that clearly indicated it was prepared to take it.

Apparently it was a day for the bad guys to ignore _blade barriers_. The huge steel predator lunged forward, ignoring the blades inside the cave, and grabbed Dorn, yanking him back into the blades as well. Using every last ounce of luck he had, Dorn somehow managed to struggle free from the predator and stagger back a few steps. He cast _plane shift_ and was gone.

Wulf saw the paladin trigger his helm and  _teleport_ out of the tiger’s mouth. Now it was just Wulf and Keldas-- and though Keldas probably had a _plane shift_ memorized as well, he was flying about two hundred feet above Wulf at the moment. 

Wulf had a few choice words about this turn of events, but unfortunately the aura of silence around him prevented these newfound profanities from filtering down to posterity. One of the smaller steel predators, already weakened by Wulf’s earlier attack, retreated back into their cave to avoid the _blade barrier_, but the other two and the den mother still lurked nearby, sniffing around for him. Wulf nipped out of the cave and crouched under the blade barrier. There was only one way out: right through the twisted guts of the dire tiger. Unfortunately for the dire tiger its senses were not as developed as the steel predator, and it was unable to defend itself. Wulf whisked through it like dwarven brew through an elf-- a particularly apt metaphor as Wulf emerged through much the same orifice and with essentially the same level of discomfort to the hapless tiger.

Wulf waded through the shaggy remains and sprinted up next to the hobgoblin-- and yet, something made him pause for a moment. _Taranak_ waited in his hand.

Keldas had summoned a dire bear to deal with the other dire tiger, and while the two huge beasts grappled atop the valley, the wizard flew down to help Wulf. He cast _haste_ on the dwarf, then turned and belched _acid breath_ onto the steel predators. One of the smaller ones collapsed in a sizzling puddle, but the den mother emerged from the cave and snarled loudly. The remaining smaller predator bounded out of the cave right behind it. 

Much to their surprise, the remaining dire tiger turned from Keldas’ bear and leapt into the valley-- right onto the huge steel predator. While the two creatures struggled, each raking with their hind legs in a desperate attempt to disembowel the other, Wulf, ever the opportunist, stepped back from the hobgoblin to concentrate on the huge predator. 

His instincts were vindicated once again, it seemed; he hacked mercilessly at the huge predator and grinned with satisfaction as a volley of arrows from the hobgoblin downed the smaller predator. Unfortunately, the steel predator was better armored than the tiger had been. Only a few of Wulf’s blows actually bit deep enough to hurt the thing.

The den mother finished off the dire tiger with ease, then turned and snapped at Wulf. He was caught off guard by the speed of its attack, and found himself gripped tight in its jaws. It twisted its head and held Wulf helpless in Dorn’s _blade barrier_.

_That’s going to sting a bit,_ Wulf thought as axe-heads whizzed and axe-handles thudded around him. _But not for much longer, I reckon._

Wulf squinted and could just barely make out a shape diving out of the grey sky. Karak flew into the _blade barrier_, grabbed at the invisible shape struggling in the predator’s mouth, and teleported the both of them to the Battlecube gate. Wulf staggered through the gate and started stumbling towards Rigus.

Perhaps he thanked the paladin for his trouble, but it was swallowed by the _silence_.

*****

They gave the steel predators-- and their hobgoblin protector, if such he was-- one day to prepare for their return. When they scried the lair for their return trip, however, they were surprised to see a human standing guard in the cats’ cavern lair-- a human in robes, wreathed in flame.

“Some kind o’ sorcerer?” suggested Wulf.

“Whatever he is, he’s about to taste boot leather,” Keldas boasted.

Wulf raised an eyebrow and looked the elven mage up and down. “Reckon yer mean to say he’s about to taste silk slipper, don’t yer?” 

Dorn chuckled.

“I knew you were going to chap my ass about these _slippers of spider climbing_ when I picked them up,” Keldas grumbled. “I should have known better…”

“Aye, that yer shoulda.” Wulf agreed. He rolled out the portable hole and lifted Karak’s _helm of teleportation_ off his head, handing it to Dorn. “But yer can make good in a second here. Yer ready?”

Dorn nodded. “Get in the hole, paladin.” 

“Why is it always me who has to go in the hole?” Karak complained.

“Cause yer over six feet tall an’ fourteen stone an’ yer wearin’ full plate. Yer weigh a ferkin’ ton, jackass.”

Dorn nodded in agreement. “I’d rather have Wulf out here with me anyway. Quit bein’ a Nervous Nancy and get in the hole.”

Alliane patiently beckoned Karak into the hole alongside her, and he grudingly hopped in once again. Keldas cast _mass haste_, and Wulf quickly rolled up the hole and tucked it into his belt. He nodded to Dorn and stepped close, with Keldas on the other side. 

“Ready!”

Dorn activated the helm and they _teleported_ through. Keldas acted first-- as he always seemed to do-- and cast _Power Word, Stun_ on the flaming sorcerer. “Say goodnight,” he chuckled smugly.

Much to everyone’s surprise the spell had no effect. “Spell resistance!” Keldas shouted.

Dorn was unimpressed and started casting. Wulf thought he recognized a _flame strike_ on the way, and while their enemies were busy with that, he stepped to one side and unrolled the hole, reaching in to boost the lady Alliane out of the extra-dimensional space. Wulf ignored the flash of flame and the back-blast of hot air, but looked up as the sound of Dorn’s swearing overpowered the roaring column of fire.

“I didn’t get him, neither…” he grumbled. The sorcerer was unscathed. But Dorn’s _flame strike_ had certainly gotten the attention of the steel predators. Wulf wasn’t sure, but beneath the fresh black scorch marks he thought he saw the signs of wounds inflicted on their last encounter. 

_This might be easier than I expected,_ he thought, just before the predators charged the group and disabused him of _that_ notion. The huge predator, the one Wulf reckoned was their den mother, bore down on him like a steam drill before screeching to a halt in front of him. She almost seemed to grin as she gingerly reached down and used her teeth to pick up the _portable hole_-- with Karak still in it.

“Oh, yer sneaky bit---“ Wulf started to say, just before one of the smaller predators slammed into him. He just had time to draw his bone dagger before the thing pulled him close and started raking away at his tender bits.

Keldas stepped away from the fray and summoned a dire bear to help Wulf. The bear reared up and slammed its bulk down on the predator that was grappling with Wulf.

“Right,” Wulf grunted. “Ferkit, why doesn’t everybody just pile on…”

The sorcerer at the end of the room finally acted. Keldas recognized the incoming spell with perfect clarity--  it was a _feeblemind_ aimed at Dorn!-- and reacted with blazing speed to counterspell it, but to no avail. The sorcerer’s magic was more than Keldas could overcome.

Dorn shook his head, though, and his eyes were still clear. “No problem, no problem, I’m fine…”

The sorcerer responded to this by sending a _lightning bolt_ screaming down the cavern. The blast caught everyone--  especially Wulf, who was buried under a mountain of bear-flesh and steel claws and unable to dodge out of the way. _Right… Another two or three of those and I’m in trouble..._

Dorn cast two _flame strikes_ onto the predators, while Wulf stabbed away at his own opponent, plunging the dagger into it two or three times and trying to force his way out of its grip. It was no use. He was caught, and the predator ripped into him again with teeth and claws. 

Two more lightning bolts thundered through Wulf. _I’m in trouble._

Alliane pitched in with a _flame strike_ to get the den mother’s attention. It seemed to work--  the predator dropped the crumpled _portable hole_ onto the ground and leaned forward to grab Dorn in her jaws. Dorn had been in this situation before and he knew he had no chance of breaking free. He activated the helm and _teleported_ over to Wulf. Stretching his hand into the mass of grappling bodies, he cast _heal_ on Wulf, who immediately felt like a new man. Wulf stabbed and struggled free of the press and took up a defensive stance next to Dorn. 

“Thanks, mate.”

Alliane cast a _divine storm_ and centered it right on the den mother. Now she _really_ had its attention. The huge predator grabbed Alliane in its jaws, clearly intent on hoisting her through her own _divine storm_. Alliane lost concentration and the whirling blades winked out. 

Disappointed, the huge predator bit Alliane clean in half and tossed aside her remains with a shake of its head.

One of the smaller predators leapt on Wulf again, pinning him to the ground. Thanks to Dorn, Wulf wasn’t in any great danger, and he didn’t even flinch when Keldas burped up an _acid breath_ over his predator and the den mother.

Satisfied that Wulf could take care of himself, Dorn whipped out his _carpet of flying_ and zipped off to the back of the cave to deal with the sorcerer-- one good whack with _Syrius_ and a promise of more where that came from. The melee was a mess, good guys and bad guys mixing it up all over the cave. Wulf was actually pretty happy to be pinned under one of the smaller predators.

The den mother ordered one of its minions to attack Keldas, but its jaws closed around a _mirror image_ and Keldas was unscathed. The den mother responded by roaring at Keldas, who counted himself fortunate not to be deafened by the sonic blast despite the fact that his guts felt like they’d been scrambled with an egg-beater. Keldas stepped back and fired two _bolts of conjuring_ at the smaller predator, finally finishing it off.

Dorn had backed the sorcerer up with his great-axe, but he was having trouble slicing through all the magical protections. He cast a _dispel magic_ onto the sorcerer with limited success-- he couldn’t tell what he’d dispelled, but apparently it was enough that the sorcerer cried out for help. The huge den mother turned and dashed to the back of the cave to deal with Dorn.

As the huge predator turned, it finally dropped the _portable hole_. Keldas reached down and unrolled the hole with one hand, while simultaneously casting a _greater dispelling_ on the sorcerer. Protective spells melted away just in time for Karak to come bounding out of the hole.

“Glad yer finally decided to join the party…” Wulf muttered from beneath the snapping jaws of his predator opponent. 

Karak took only the briefest of moments to size up the situation before charging the sorcerer, smiting him full force. The sorcerer was sorely wounded but scoffed arrogantly. 

“Sorry to leave you,” he said. “One haste, one teleport, and we’ll meet some other time.” He stepped back from Karak and began to re-cast his _haste_ spell.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Keldas whispered. There was menace in his monotone. The sorcerer’s _haste_ spell fizzled as Keldas reacted to counter-spell it. There would be no _teleport_ follow-up, either: Dorn stepped up and in two strokes had seperated the sorcerer into three parts.

They weren’t out of the water yet, unfortunately; there were still two predators left, including the big one. Keldas saw Wulf still struggling with his and shouted out, “Wulf, you know I can’t do this!”

“What the hell are yer talking abou—“ Wulf began, as a _fireball_ exploded around his ears. If it was an illusion, it was a damn painful one, and the predator seemed to think so, too. Wulf put a boot against its chest and popped himself free of its clutches. He rolled to his feet with his weapons ready, slashed the thing four or five times, and finally dropped it in a heap on the ground.

Dorn and Karak had teamed up on the den mother, but the thing seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of energy. Ignoring Karak, it turned and clamped its huge jaws on Dorn, engulfing him from the top down and settling its razor-sharp teeth around his waist. Wulf grimaced and turned aside, leaving a single eye open to witness a repeat of what the thing had done to Alliane. 

But Dorn was Haela’s special guy. At the last moment Dorn’s banded mail slipped through the predator’s jaws, which chomped down unsatisfactorily on Dorn’s shoulder. It was still a bad wound, but not nearly as bad as it should have been. 

“Yer lucky bastard!” Wulf cheered.

Dorn didn’t feel so lucky at the moment. The predator didn’t miss a beat, grabbing Dorn with its claws and dragging him in where its hind legs could rake him over. Wulf charged up and slammed _Taranak_ into its side. The distraction worked; Dorn managed to wriggle free, and Wulf got back-handed with another paw for his trouble. 

Wulf noticed with some concern that he, Dorn, and Karak had the creature blocked in on three sides—and unfortunately, it was he who was standing between the critter and the exit. He skipped back a few steps to give the predator room to run without having to go through him first. Sure enough, the den mother took the bait and bolted for the exit. Karak and Dorn slashed at its flanks as it fled, but it kept its feet and blasted past Wulf like a bullet train. 

_Good riddance_, Wulf thought. 

Dorn was not so easily deterred. He kicked his flying carpet into high gear and chased off after it, out of the cave, through the valley entrance, and off onto the vast iron plain of the cube, all the while calling down _flame strike_ after _flame strike_. Soon enough, he’d blasted it into oblivion. He returned, satisfied at last, to the rest of the group.

Wulf was using the tip of his boot to roll Alliane’s remains unceremoniously into the _portable hole_. Noting Keldas’ scowl, Wulf crossed himself and said a quick prayer for her soul. “Benedice, benedictus… ahh… ipso facto an’ habeus corpus…”

Wulf looked up at Dorn. “Reckon yer can bring her back tomorrow?”

Dorn shrugged. “No problem.”

“No,” Keldas said. 

“What yer mean, _No_?”

“Alliane did not wish to be brought back again. She has earned a rest: a graceful, innocent follower, always getting yanked into terrible danger by people she should know better than to trust.”

“But I _need_ her,” Wulf said. “We all need her.”

“What’s done is done,” said Keldas.

**

They grabbed the den mother’s head on their way back to the formian lair, and as soon as they were spotted by the colony, the formians raised a mighty cheer. For some reason, Wulf was in no mood for celebration; while he sulked in the back, Keldas stepped forward to lead a delegation to the formian Queen, and to handle any negotiations. 

When it was all said and done, Keldas returned to the group with a magic necklace, given as a gift from the Queen for their help against the steel predators. 

“Just great,” Wulf said. “Yer lost Alliane, but, hey, at least yer got a pretty bauble for yer trouble.”

Keldas scowled, but let it go. “Well, it allows us to see through illusions; it could be very useful.”

“What would be useful is some allies against Imperagon. How’d that go?”

Keldas frowned. “The Queen will grant us safe haven here, but assures me that if we bring trouble down on them, she’ll hand us over.”

“Mighty utilitarian of her.”

“Best she can do. So what now?”

“I don’t care, ask the Oracle over there.” Wulf nodded towards Dorn. “Or is today a Templar day?”

“Tomorrow I will commune with Haela Brightaxe. She’ll see us on our way, right enough,” said Dorn. “Start thinkin’ of questions to ask. _Serious_ questions, Wulf.”

The next day, as soon as Dorn was ready, Wulf guided him through the questions he wanted answered. _Tactical_ questions. _Strategic_ questions. _Serious_ questions. Wulf had a little over half a dozen questions written down, and figured he’d fill out the rest as the answers to the previous questions inspired him.

_ What are the names of the three blue dragons who have allied with Imperagon? _
* INDRAZAR, HUNDRAZI, KHALATAIC. *

_ Do the dragons have any allies besides Imperagon? _
* IMPERAGON’S ALLIES. *

“Ohh, that was some friggin’ useful info,” Wulf said. “Very timely, very helpful.”

As if to annoy Wulf further, Dorn deviated from Wulf’s questions:

_Is Haela happy with my work so far?_
_There was no answer, but Dorn felt a strange sensation. _ 

“Waste of a question…” Wulf said. “Yer big momma’s boy.”

“I got a warm fuzzy feelin’.” Dorn smiled.

“That so? Hell, if I’d ha’ known I could have got a mystical hummer from Haela herself, I woulda been a priest, too.” Wulf said. “Now can we get back on track?"

_ Will killing the dragons assist us against Imperagon? _ 
* YES*

_ What kind of dragon cross-breed is Imperagon? _
* RED *

_Is Verachus planning to double-cross us? _
* NO*

_ Is Imperagon making preparations specifically against us? _ 
*YES*

_ Is the hobgoblin sniper a threat to us in our crusade against Imperagon? _
* NO *

_ Is Imperagon a psionics user? _
* NO*

Karak was waving his hand wildly in the air. “Ooh! Ooh! I have a good one! Ask her what weaknesses we can exploit!”

Wulf started at him like the idiot he was. “It doesn’t work that way. Yer have to ask questions with simple answers, and besides…”

Dorn asked the question:

_ What weaknesses does Imperagon’s fortress have that we can exploit? _ 
_ There was no answer. _

Wulf shut his eyes and tried to control his temper. He found it easier if he just reminded himself that he was surrounded by fools. “And _besides_, I was sayin’, the gods don’t work that way. It’s never that simple. Haela _wants_ us to throw our asses on the line, don’t yer get it? Yer think she’s just gonna roll Imperagon up in a neat package for us?”

“Keep the questions comin, then,” said Dorn. “If ya slow down, it’s no wonder the paladin’s gonna jump in.”

_ Are Imperagon’s blue dragon allies making preparations specifically against us? _ 
* YES *

_ If we wait for the dragons, will they come to us?_
* NO *

_ If we attack the dragons right now, what allies can we expect them to have? _
* STEEL CATS.*

“That’s it,” said Dorn. He was visibly drained from the communion with his goddess, but he seemed game for more-- as ever. “So?”

“Well," Wulf said, stroking his beard. "I reckon we leave now and go kick the sh-- out of some dragons.”

Wulf looked around. He didn’t see the unanimous approval he was hoping for.

 “Why don’t we wait a day and take some protection spells?” said Karak.

“Another day?” Wulf said. They’d already wasted a day waiting for Dorn to switch out his spells.

“_Protection from elements_ goes a long way, against dragons.” Dorn said. “I loaded up on Oracle crap today, so I don’t have as much whammy as I might like, includin’ protective stuff.”

“I’m not worried about dragon breath,” Wulf said. “ I’m too quick for ‘em. Yer got that freaky Oracle danger-sense thing goin’ on, yer never get hit neither. We know Keldas is bound to have something to protect himself, leavin’ only the assmar to worry about. If yer was _inclined_ to worry about him, which of course I’m not.”

Karak scowled at Wulf.

“Ach, I just mean yer can take care of yerself, that’s all.”

Wulf noticed Keldas and Dorn staring off into space. 

“You see that?” asked Keldas.

“Of course,” said Dorn. He looked back to Wulf and Karak. “Someone’s _scrying_ us.” 

“Aye?” Wulf said. With one hand he pulled _Taranak_ off his belt, and with the other he heaved his privates. “Get an eyeful o’ this! Hope yer usin’ yer wide-angle sensor, take in the whole show.”

“Well, as long as I’m prepared for it today, I might as well scry ‘em right back,” Dorn said. He cast his own _scrying_. “Who do I look for?”

“Pick a dragon, any dragon,” Wulf said.

“Indrazar,” Dorn said, and suddenly he could see the dragon, a full-grown adult lying in a deep crevasse at the bottom of a cave. Dorn moved the sensor around, spotting Khalataic next, another adult lying on a ledge that overlooked the cavern below. Next to Khalataic was a smaller dragon, the juvenile Hundrazi. 

Dorn recounted all this to his comrades. Somehow, looking at them and having it confirmed for sure, three dragons suddenly seemed like an awful lot to tackle. 

“Anything else? Steel cats?” Wulf said.

Dorn moved the sensor around the whole cave. He didn’t spot any steel predators, and was ready to give up, when he suddenly started. “Hang on, what’s this?”

Nearly hidden in the crevasse behind Indrazar, he spotted something. “There’s a big glass block or somethin’ in the pit… And… Lemme look closer… Hmm.”

“What? What is it?” asked Karak. He seemed agitated.

“Hmm. There’s a nekkid human boy trapped in the glass.”

There was a moment of silence while they all tried to process this strange new information.

“Ferk’im,” Wulf said. “If they’re scryin’ us, they’re tipped off by now. Let’s wait till tomorrow, juice up.”

“I think we should go now,” Karak said. “The boy…”

“Boy’s on ice, he’ll keep.”

“Well,” Karak said. “It’s just…”

Wulf’s suspicions were suddenly flaring up, a really creepy feeling he hadn’t felt since the peck was around. He stepped closer to Karak. “Out with it!”

“A while back, I had a dream about this boy,” Karak said.

Dorn held up his hands. “Ach, man, I _really_ don’t need to hear this… Not now, not never.”

“In my dream, I saw a teenage boy trapped in a block of glass, with lightning arcing all around it. I stepped closer to the boy, so close I could feel the electricity.”

Wulf and Dorn were inspecting their boots and humming to themselves. 

“…and when I cast a spell at the block, I suddenly woke up.”

“Please tell me yer done,” Wulf said.

“What spell was it that you cast,” asked Keldas. Believe it or not, he seemed genuinely interested.

“I don’t know,” said Karak. “I told you, I woke up.”

“So, what, now yer sayin’ yer want to go in right now, guns blazing?”

“Yes.”

“No protections?”

“Right.”

Wulf and Dorn looked at each other, and to Keldas. Everyone seemed in agreement. Wulf rolled out the _portable hole_ for Karak--  but he had to admit to himself, he was starting to get cold feet.

“All right, just so yer all realize, this is yer own decision.”

They prepared with what spells they could--  _Bull’s Strength_ from the wand they’d found; _protection from elements_ where it could be spared, (“We got just enough to go in with, so if it gets _dispelled_, we got problems,” warned Dorn), Keldas’ usual wizard’s tricks like _mage armor_ and _shield_ and _mirror image_, and finally, _mass haste_ all around, just before Dorn _teleported_ them all through.

***

They were spot on, and as usual, Keldas was the first to open the ceremonies. Dorn had _teleported_ them onto the shelf, and Keldas took only a split second to gain his bearings before casting his first spell.

He _disintegrated_ the baby dragon.

“Well, that’s certainly got their attention,” Wulf said as he unrolled the _portable hole_ into the corner of the shelf.

Dorn proved that he wasn’t travelling _completely_ in Oracle mode that day by casting _Destruction_ on Khalataic, the adult male. Wulf had hoped to see another dragon instantly “dusted” but unfortunately, the dragon resisted; huge chunks of flesh shriveled and dropped away nevertheless, but it was clear the dragon could take plenty more.

The group was unrelenting. Despite the ominous scrying, it seemed the party had caught the dragons by surprise. While the two adults scrambled to prepare themselves with their own protective spells, Keldas cast _know protections_ on Khalataic then started summoning a dire bear. They still shared shelf-space with the male and Keldas wanted a meat shield between him and the claws, teeth, wings, and tail of the big blue.

Indrazar, the female, somehow managed to find one of the steel predators. Wulf guessed that she was _hasted_, as she flew across the cavern, scooped up a cat, then flew up to deposit it on the shelf in front of them. As if on cue, the predator bounded off to their flank and roared its sonic blast across the party-- at the same time that the male sizzled them all with its lightning breath. The lightning hit Keldas’ _energy buffer_ first and was harmlessly dissipated, but unfortunately it left him open to the sonic blast. Keldas grit his teeth and somehow managed to keep his concentration on his summoning.

Dorn decided to make the best of the situation while their enemies were all grouped up in front of them. Two _flame strikes_ softened up the two dragons for the dire bear, which appeared in front of the male and did its best to claw at it through the dragon’s _shield_.

Keldas cast _slow_, knowing full well that if it worked, they’d pretty much have the dragons at their mercy. Unfortunately, the first spell fizzled against the dragon’s spell resistance. He tried again, and though this time the spell manifested fully, neither dragon seemed affected by it.

The dragons responded in force. Lightning crackled across the shelf, and the steel predator lent a hand with its roar as well. The party was still well protected from the lightning; that was the good news. The bad news was that the dragons finally seemed to figure it out. Even worse, Keldas was completely unprotected from the roaring of the steel predator, and if the lightning didn’t kill him, the sonics soon would. 

Dorn had another two _flame strikes_ for the dragons and the cat-- apparently Oracles had nothing better to pray for than dozens of _flame strike_ spells-- which softened the predator up enough for Wulf and Karak to charge up together, flank it, and drop it. Wulf noticed that Karak fought with unusual vigor, even for him; he kept stealing glances down to the crevasse, and Wulf got the sense that all these enemies had faded to mere obstacles to the paladin. 

_Fighting with unusual vigor, good. Not keeping your eye on the ball, bad._

Now Keldas cast _greater dispelling_ on the female, and to his trained eye he could almost see the spells melting away from her: _haste, shield, endurance, mage armor_. Then he did the same to the male, dropping Khalataic’s _haste_ and _endurance_ as well. 

The female attempted to _haste_ herself again, but Keldas was too quick, counterspelling it easily. The dragons took to the air and wheeled away below the level of the ledge. Dorn took advantage of the brief pause to heal Keldas with their newly crafted wand of curing. Keldas felt his sonic-blasted insides re-arrange themselves into a more life-sustaining formation. 

Wulf readied his weapons for the dragons’ return, and turned to ensure that the paladin was doing the same. Much to his dismay, Wulf spotted the paladin dive-bombing straight for the young boy’s crevasse. Karak was on his own, distracted from the task at hand and separated from the group by a good hundred feet or so. 

Wulf’s view of the paladin was abruptly blocked out as the dragons suddenly returned, dropping off two more steel predators onto the ledge. Khalataic followed up by casting his _endurance_ spell again. 

Wulf looked on in admiration as Keldas taunted the big male. Wulf couldn’t understand the Draconic but the elf’s arrogant sneer was all too familiar. “What, not strong enough to take us?”

_That’s one elf what’s got a pair, true enough._

The dragons ignored Keldas, dropping down to hover in front of the ledge with just their heads above the level of the rim-- plenty of cover and perfect for breathing anytime they were ready. Dorn decided he’d back them off a bit, and cast a _blade barrier_ such that it would spin parallel to the cliff wall. _Good thinking,_ Wulf thought. _Now if we need to get over, we can just hop the blades._

Unfortunately, the dragons just seemed to ignore the blades. They were turning towards the paladin at last.

Karak had located the boy’s icy prison and cast _dispel magic_. The prison shimmered and disappeared, and the boy slumped to the ground.

“Karak! Stop screwin’ around with that boy and get back in the fight!”

Karak shouted back over his shoulder. “I’m trying to see if he looks okay!”

“Okay? He’s looks totally *HOT!* Happy? Now get yer ass back up here!”

Karak saw the female headed his way and he flew out of the crevasse to meet her before she could get close enough to threaten the boy. He ended his charge with a powerful _smite_, infusing the strike further with his own life-force by way of a _divine sacrifice_. It was a solid blow; it was obvious she felt it. Still, Wulf couldn’t hide his disgust with the paladin. 

_Never, never move to attack the dragon; the dragon just gets to hit you with everything it’s got. Let the dragon come to *you*._

Wulf didn’t stop to think know how he knew it; he just knew it, like instinct. If he’d stopped to consider it, this was probably the third or fourth dragon he’d seen in his lifetime-- three or four more than the average dwarf would ever _want_ to see.

Sure enough, Indrazar beat her mighty wings and lashed out at the paladin with everything she had. Karak was very lucky: only one claw met its mark and he suffered the merest graze from her jaws.

Wulf tried his best to keep an eye on the paladin, as if he could effect the battle through telepathy or osmosis of talent, but he had his own problems. He and Dorn both were tackled by steel predators. _Taranak_ and _Syrius_ hewed into their enemies with every ounce of strength the two dwarves could muster. Keldas cast a _bolt of conjuring_ at Dorn’s foe. Huge chunks of flesh were torn from the predator, dropping to the ground and forming themselves into a small (but angry) celestial badger. The predator collapsed from the transformation. 

Keldas followed with a duplicate bolt to Wulf’s foe, but the thing didn’t drop. Wulf was desperate to break free of his combat and charge to the side of Karak-- to slap a little sense into him, of course-- but he could only watch from the ledge. Karak probably should have moved away from the dragon--  he was certainly more maneuverable--  but Wulf was amazed to see the paladin stand toe-to-toe with her. He was going all out in his attack. 

Precious few of the paladin’s blows struck the dragon, and in return he was nearly ripped to pieces. She clamped her jaws down on him, shredded him with both claws, and to add insult to injury, clouted him with her tail as well. Wulf had a pretty good sense of what the paladin could take-- and that was just about it. He was lucky the female had missed with her wings and rear claws; if she’d been more cool-headed and less charged with fury, the paladin would likely be dead.

_I can’t believe he held his ground._

Wulf had been struggling with the steel predator, trying to force its snapping jaws out of the way long enough to get a clear view of the paladin’s struggle, when suddenly the thing went limp against him. Dorn wrenched his great-axe from the thing’s back and touched Wulf firmly with his other hand. Wulf’s wounds-- quite serious, though he’d hardly noticed them-- closed up. Save the hang-nail he’d had since morning, he was whole again.

“There ya go. Do yer thing.” Dorn jerked a thumb towards the female.

Wulf was off like a shot. Still _hasted_, he charged in against the female on the opposite flank from Karak. _Praise Moradin, the assmar held his ground!_ Wulf hefted _Taranak_ in one hand, as always, but his bone dagger was still in his belt. Instead, he wielded the light mace they’d taken from the drow, and he gleefully pounded the pointed star of chaos into the dragon’s ribs. 

The dragon had never felt such pain before in her life; molten fire and inky chaos seeped into every wound. She wouldn’t have long to ponder the pain, because Keldas had been waiting for a moment of weakness.

He cast _power word: stun_. There was no resisting it. Indrazar hung stunned in mid-air.

Khalataic realized what was happening to his mate, but it was too late. He made a flying run past Wulf, snapping at him with his jaws before flying off to circle back for more. 

“Right, right, we can play that game…” said Wulf. “But just for that, yer whore wife is dead--  and there’s nothing yer can do about it.”

True to his word as always, Wulf laid into the helpless female in a flurry of activity, breaking nearly every bone with his mace before _Taranak_ opened her up and rained her steaming guts down onto the cavern floor.

With the death of the female, Wulf thought for a moment that the party was about to have a rare, unspoiled victory. Foolish thoughts, of course.

A glowing portal opened on the north end of the battlefield and two familiar figures stepped through.

“It’s Engram and Rourmed!”

There was no mistaking their intentions; they’d come ready to bring the heat. They appeared to be _hasted_, Engram had multiple _mirror images_ swirling around him, and Wulf suspected a _shield_ spell as well. To top it off, Wulf had a nice, warm, paranoid feeling about the crooked staff that Engram brandished in one hand. Even so, he was far more worried about what Rourmed could do-- if only because he knew too well what Dorn could do; still, when the priest started running across the cavern away from the battle, he had to admit to himself he had no idea what Rourmed _would_ do.

“Kill the priest!” Wulf shouted.

“Which one is the priest?” Dorn yelled back.

Wulf rolled his eyes and pointed. “He’s the one makin’ a beeline for the naked boy!”

Wulf would never know what the priest originally had in mind, because his shout had brought the priest up short. Rourmed stopped at the edge of the depression and turned to look up at the shelf where Karak had retreated to seek healing from Dorn. The paladin was sorely wounded from his fight with the dragon, and when Rourmed’s _blade barrier_ whirled into force about four feet above the level of the shelf, Karak was sliced to ribbons. He dropped below the level of the blades.

Keldas had moved forward to deal with Engram, the wizard. He hovered in mid-air and launched a _bolt of conjuring_ just in time to disrupt Engram’s spell-- some sort of summoning, though it was beyond anything they could identify. Unfortunately, Keldas was far too close, now, to the bull dragon. Khalataic turned in mid-air and blasted Keldas and Wulf with a bolt of lightning. Wulf dodged, of course, and although Keldas wasn’t particularly hurt, his protections would not last much longer. 

Wulf watched as something invisible attacked Keldas, but soon enough he had problems of his own. He couldn’t _see_ his attacker either, but the stench reminded him of half-orc, and the thing’s battle-cry smacked of barbarian desperation. Wulf suspected that his foe had hoped to rattle his nerves, but he was unimpressed.

“Yer’d be a lot more intimidatin’,” Wulf said, “if I could ser yer...” He hefted _Taranak_ and squinted around for his opponent.

Dorn had managed to crawl beneath the _blade barrier_ to Karak’s side. The paladin wasn’t quite dead yet. Dorn laid a hand on the assmar’s brow and _healed_ him nearly to full strength again. When he was satisfied the paladin was going to make it, he carefully unrolled his _carpet of flying_ and charged out to help Wulf with the raging half-orc.

Engram gripped his staff and pointed it at Keldas. “I’m killing you with your own staff,” he said, as fist-sized hailstones pounded down on the elf. 

Keldas had had enough. “I’m leaving!” he said.

Karak had managed to recover his feet, and ignoring the _blade barrier_ as best he could, he grabbed the _portable hole_ and ran to Keldas’ side. Keldas grabbed him and they disappeared.

“We’re not done dancin’ yet,” Wulf said, slashing into the half-orc with a flurry of attacks. Several times, Wulf whizzed his chaos mace through empty air before striking elsewhere with _Taranak_. Not every blow struck true, of course, but Wulf took particular glee in the sickening crunch and sizzle of the ones that did. He’d figure out where his opponent was, line him up with Dorn, and then…

“Dance is over,” Dorn said. He grabbed Wulf by the back of the neck and cast _plane shift_.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part V*

“Did he say he was killin’ yer with yer own staff?” Wulf asked.

“Oh. Yes. That’s the staff I have been looking for my entire life,” said Keldas, the very picture of understatement.

“Well,” said Wulf, “We’re goin’ back, right?”

“Tomorrow,” said Keldas, and so it was agreed.

***

By the next day they were fully rested and Wulf was nearly squirming at the thought of all the heavy-duty spellpower that Keldas and Dorn would be bringing. Thus, he was more than a little surprised to find that Dorn had come prepared with a _scrying_ for the day. “No sense goin’ in blind,” he reasoned.

Dorn cast his _scrying_ and zeroed in on the dragon’s cave, near the spot where they’d arrived last time. The dragon himself was out of frame, but they were looking in instead at Rourmed and Engram. The priest and the wizard were themselves huddled over a mirror, and it took only a moment for Keldas to glance around and spot their scrying sensor. 

Wulf could not help chuckling. “They see us, we see them… Fine. Let’s go!”

He rolled out his _portable hole_ for the paladin. 

“I’m not going in there,” Karak said.

“This is gettin’ old,” Wulf said. “I’m tired of yer bitchin’ but I’m more tired of arguing with yer. So we’ll do it yer way.”

They were forced to split up into two groups, since neither Keldas nor Karak alone could _teleport_ the entire group.

They prepared with spells and on cue, Keldas _teleported_ in with Dorn, and Karak did the same with Wulf.

At least, that was what was supposed to happen. 

What happened instead was that Keldas and Dorn arrived in the dragon’s cave, alone, while Karak botched his _teleport_ and sent himself and Wulf off into the featureless void of Acheron. Wulf had one hand hitched into Karak’s belt, but that didn’t stop him from smacking him around with the other. Karak tried his helm again. 

Again, they were off target. With two of his three daily uses now wasted, Karak had just one _teleport_ left. He lobbied hard to try one last time. “Keldas and Dorn are there all alone!”

“Then yer better start prayin’ that Keldas and Dorn have enough sense to leave, cause we are not headin’ in with no escape route. Take us home… arsehole.”

Meanwhile, as Wulf had hoped, it took only a moment for Keldas and Dorn to realize that they were alone. Fortunately, they had the drop on Engram and Rourmed. “Stay or go?” Keldas said.

Dorn briefly considered staying.  Half of him expected the paladin to try again and actually get it right, and half of him thought he and Keldas could take it alone. In the end, he decided that neither supposition was very likely. “Home!” he said, hoping that Wulf had enough sense not to let the paladin _teleport_ in without an escape route. 

Before their enemies could act, Keldas cast _teleport_ again. As he and Dorn were whisked away, they noted a contemptuous sneer on the faces of the priest and mage, their nemeses. “Leaving already?” they said. 

They met up on the Acheron side of the gate back to Rigus, their agreed meeting place-- the only feature of the plane they were all comfortable with. 

“Let’s go!” said Karak, as soon as they were all assembled. 

“Nah, tomorrow,” Wulf said. “We’ll need your helm at full strength.”

“But the boy…” Karak started.

“Is still alive,” Wulf guessed, “and I reckon he’ll be so tomorrow.”

“But…”

“Go on then,” said Wulf. “But count me out.”

“Me too,” said Dorn. “I can always _raise_ him later… If there’s anything of him left.”

Karak looked ready to cry. 

“You know, worst case scenario…” Dorn suggested.

***

Wulf and Karak took turns watching throughout the night while Keldas and Dorn recovered the few spells they’d used in their botched attempt. Wulf was up bright and early. He had the _portable hole_ all ready for the paladin.

Karak balked again. “I already told you, I am not going in there again.”

“Get in the hole!” Wulf shouted.

“No.”

“You do realize you are _doubling_ the chances of something going wrong?” said Dorn.

“It’s only a very small chance…”

“GET IN THE GODDAMN HOLE!” Wulf yelled again.

“No.”

Wulf was done shouting. Now, he merely stared at the paladin, and somehow, something in his demeanor must have finally impressed upon the paladin that today was a _killing day_. 

Karak got in the hole. 

Dorn reached in and plucked the _helm of teleportation_ off his head. “Thank you.”

Keldas and Dorn cast their preparatory spells, Wulf rolled up the hole, and they were off:

Dorn nailed it on the first try. They _teleported_ in and landed literally toe-to-toe with their enemies.

***

Wulf was the first to act. He was standing within arm’s reach of Engram, and though he was sorely tempted to hack him open in one shot, he stuck true to the plan and unrolled the portable hole. But Engram must have seen the glimmer in Wulf’s eye, for despite the fact that he was the next to act, he took the opportunity to skitter back away from Wulf.

Dorn had gained his bearings and showed with his opening salvo that he wasn’t playing around. He cast _destruction_ on Engram, and for one brief moment it looked as if the mage would be completely obliterated. Somehow, he held himself together, but the damage from the _destruction_ wracked his frail frame hideously. 

Keldas took one look at the blue bull dragon and with a flick of his wrist, it was gone.

While Rourmed’s dwarven bodyguard fired at them with his crossbow, the half-orc barbarian rushed at them from across the cave, frothing and bellowing as he charged directly at Wulf in another attempt to intimidate him. Wulf was, again, staggeringly unimpressed.

Rourmed was up and acting now, and the group felt a sickening lurch as an _unholy aura_ descended over all of them. Wulf quickly decided that Rourmed was probably a greater threat than Engram, and he tumbled over to the priest’s flank, waiting for an opportunity. He was too quick for the half-orc but Rourmed was ready with his weapon. He cracked Wulf solidly across the back as he tumbled into position. There was unholy power in his morningstar, and Wulf was painfully reminded that as far as such things went, he was counted among the “good guys.”

Engram was standing in the clear and he cast _haste_ to better deal with his foes. Wulf recognized the spell but before he could wonder what unpleasantness would follow, Keldas had counterspelled the _haste_ and Engram was left hanging out to dry. Dorn pounded him with a _flame strike_ and Engram was blasted to cinders. Dorn was clearly surprised that the wizard had died so easily, but he merely shrugged and jogged over to flank Rourmed with Wulf. 

Wulf drew a second weapon and hacked away at Rourmed in a hasted blur; still, Rourmed kept his feet. Wulf hadn’t expected to drop him too quickly, but the damage done was enough for Keldas: he cast _power word, stun_ and Rourmed was toast. It was a simple matter for Dorn to finish him off. 

The crossbow-wielding dwarf had seen enough. He took off running, leaving only the half-orc for the party to deal with. He charged Wulf again, landing a solid blow, but Wulf merely chuckled; the half-orc had run right into a threshing machine. Wulf chopped and slashed with glee, but the half-orc didn’t drop.

In fact, he responded with a frenzied flurry of his own that left Wulf very nearly dead. “Little help here!” Wulf shouted. 

Keldas was busy recovering his staff from Engram’s remains, but Karak came to Wulf’s aid. He charged the half-orc from behind. Six inches of longsword came bursting through his chest from the back way, but still the half-orc kept fighting. 

Keldas tried _hold monster_ to no avail; a _bolt of conjuring_ sizzled his skin but did little to deter him. Wulf and Karak landed some half a dozen telling blows between them, and the little celestial badger summoned by Keldas’ bolt even lent a hand, scratching feebly at the berseker’s shins.

“He’s a frenzied berserker!” Wulf said. He’d seen battleragers among his own people who boasted similar fortitude. “He’s not going down while he’s raging…”

Dorn nodded and tried a simple _command_. “Relax!” he said, hoping to end the rage. It was useless. The half-orc had a will of iron. Dorn hacked away with his great-axe. It, too,  was useless.

“How much can he TAKE?” Wulf shouted, frustrated. “Somebody please kill this bastard before he kills me…”

“One way or another, you better kill him soon,” Keldas said. He cast another _hold_ spell and, miraculously, it worked.

Dorn wasted no time. He was ready to take off after the dwarf who had run away. “Let him go,” said Wulf.

“Yes, do,” said Keldas. “We’re going to need you here any minute now.”

“Why?” asked Karak. His question was answered as the blue dragon suddenly reappeared. It looked very, very angry.

“AH!” the paladin yelled. Almost by instinct, he _smited_ the dragon.

The dragon’s heaved its haunches and breathed a bolt of lightning across Karak and Dorn. Keldas, non-plussed, cast a _dispel_ on the dragon to drop any protections it might have cast while it was trapped within his previous _maze_ spell. 

Karak ducked around the dragon, narrowly avoiding a tail slap from the mighty beast. He stabbed at its left flank while Wulf did his best to flay it alive from the right.

The dragon looked like he had a little more fight in him, but he was no fool. He took to flight and sailed out of the cavern with amazing aerial agility for such a large beast. Keldas and Dorn both gave chase, but despite Keldas’ attempt to _disintegrate_ it and Dorn’s incessant _flame strikes_, the dragon’s spell resistance and flight speed soon carried it out of harm’s way. 

Wulf had followed them out to watch the brief pursuit from the cave mouth. He returned with Dorn and Keldas to find Karak ministering to the boy. 

The boy looked sorely wounded. Karak cast _heal mount_ and, to everyone’s surprise, all of his wounds were healed.

“So now he’s your servant?” Dorn asked. 

“I haven’t got that far with him yet.” Karak said.

“So… what are we talkin’ then?” Wulf asked. “First base? Second base?”

“He is a dragon,” Karak explained. “His name is Azimuth.”

Wulf snickered. “Whatever. Let’s loot these bodies and head back to Rigus to sell it.”

They shoveled the dragon’s hoard and the corpses into the _portable hole_. Karak noted a few pearls as they slipped into the hole and he spoke up.

“Can I have some pearls for the dragon?”

“What for?”

“He just… likes pearls.”

“Hm. Ok. So yer’d like to give him a nice pearl necklace then?”

“Well, I am sure he would like a share.”

Dorn had a fine ear for the sound of coin being drained out of his own pockets, and now he stepped into the conversation. “What exactly is the fair share for allowing yourself to be rescued?”

Karak was oblivious to the sarcasm. “Well, I think he deserves a half share, just like Alliane.”

“He’s a _mount_,” Wulf said, nearly stunned at the paladin’s twisted logic. “So if I ride a pony, he gets a half share?”

“He’s an _intelligent_ mount,” Karak insisted, thinking he’d won the argument.

“So’s ol’ Bill,” Wulf said, “He can count to three!”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI*

Back in their room in Rigus, Wulf was having trouble resting. Keldas hadn’t said a peep about his new staff, but it wasn’t as if he was being discreet about it, either-- there commenced a long and, in Wulf’s opinion, overly intimate inspection for what Wulf rightly asserted was a glorified walking stick. Naturally, when the elf volunteered to take a watch, Wulf volunteered to stay up with him. There was a warm spot in his belly nurtured by a healthy paranoia and the thought of having finally put those pricks Rourmed and Engram down for good. 

The thought that Keldas was hiding something was titillating in its own right. Wulf hoped that the daggers he cut with his eyes would appear as no more than his usual disgust, though truthfully he admitted that there was little danger the elf would notice, rapt as he was with his staff. 

The hair stood up on the back of Wulf’s neck and suddenly Keldas was looking into his eyes. “We’re being scried…” Keldas whispered.

“Wake up!” Wulf said-- or at least, he thought he said it, for a surreal, dreamlike state seemed to settle in. There appeared in the center of the room a tall, beautiful winged elf. The archon smiled, raised a long, fluted trumpet to its lips, and blew a shrill note. 

“Yer don’t see that every day…” Wulf thought, as Keldas turned stark white and fled up into the corner of the ceiling, skittering like a spider. Come to think of it, he didn’t feel quite 100% himself. Still not quite sure what was going on-- yet fairly certain it would involve bloodshed-- Wulf downed a _potion of haste_, just in case.

Still wearing the same beatific smile-- no doubt that same smile reserved for the slaughtering of firstborn babes and similar missions-- the archon stretched forth his hand. Wide strokes of lightning leapt from his fingertips and scorched everyone in the room-- everyone, of course, except Wulf, who dodged out of the way, and the paladin’s boy, who seemed immune to its effect.

Without missing a beat, and moving with unearthly speed, the archon’s trumpet suddenly shifted and changed into an enormous greatsword. The archon seemed to laugh just a bit as a black bolt of _destruction_ slithered down the blade and struck the boy full in the chest. Wulf had seen the effect before, and if the boy’s reaction was an indication of the spell being successfully resisted, he had no desire to see the spell’s full force. 

Still not quite sure of himself, Wulf stammered once again for his comrades to get up, all the while pulling darts and daggers from the bandolier on his chest and hurling them ineffectively at the archon. The next moment, a female duergar appeared in the room, _enlarged_ to twice her size and wearing the loose-fitting garb of a monk. Wulf sensed something else out there, as well, lurking invisibly amongst their other foes. 

Karak finally managed to get to his feet, just in time to be set upon by the invisible creatures. Wulf could not see the attackers, but he recognized the arterial spray easily enough: nary a weak spot on Karak’s armor and anatomy was left unbloodied by the attack. The paladin staggered backwards and the boy sprang to his defense, changing form into a young bronze dragon as he positioned himself unerringly between his master and the invisible rogues.

Dorn was awake. Activating his _boots of speed_, he sprang to his feet and cast _destruction_ on the archon-- to absolutely no effect. 

Karak groaned something pitiful and slipped backwards, fumbling desperately to lay his healing hands on himself. Before the young dragon could retreat alongside him, the archon stepped forward and slashed twice across the dragon’s hide, opening deep wounds across his flank.

Wulf wanted nothing to do with the archon; he wondered vaguely if the two invisible rogues were of sufficient skill to bypass his own uncanny reflexes. Never one to take unnecessary chances, he grabbed _Taranak_ in one hand and his chaos mace in the other, and attacked the female duergar.

“Yer gonna like this,” Wulf said, pounding the chaos mace into the monk’s unarmored body. He scored several good hits, sending the duergar into a desperate defense. The monk struck once at Wulf’s chest-- no doubt attempting a stunning strike, for all the good it would do her-- then thought better of that approach. She stepped back and downed a _potion of invisibility_. 

Meanwhile, the rogues were relentless in their assault on the paladin. The dragon did his best to defend him, and the room echoed with screams of pain as its jaws bit down solidly on vulnerable flesh. Dorn rushed to his aid as well, casting a _heal_ spell while swinging away wildly around him. “Fight!” Dorn yelled, trying to spur the paladin into something other than endless retreat.

Karak finally struck out-- a lucky shot. His sword crashed down solidly on the other rogue. Their cries of alarm bought Wulf a little more time as the archon stepped over to deal with the growing scrum of combatants surrounding the paladin. The dark angel first tried to _poison_ the dragon with a spell, and when that failed, resorted once again to his greatsword. That, at least, had the desired effect: Another solid blow, and suddenly the dragon wasn’t looking as if he’d be in the fight for the long haul, either.

Wulf decided he couldn’t wait any longer. He stepped up and hacked away at the archon, landing a solid blow. Almost at once, the cloud of menace and despair that had dogged Wulf's subconscious seemed to lift away on a breeze. _Yeah... I can win this fight._ 

Karak had backed into a corner in some semblance of strategic defense, but to no avail. Still the rogues carved away at him and again the paladin see-sawed from vigorous health to death’s door. The monk appeared once again to attack Wulf, but her fists found nothing but empty air. Wulf was fighting at full strength, now-- and the monk suddenly realized she’d become visible with the first punch. 

Dorn reached out to heal Karak again, shrugged, then made a wild guess at a rogue's location. He slammed his new axe down in a splintering stroke that somehow found its mark. There was a blast of electricity, a puff of ozone, and shards of rogue showered the area. 

“Is he dead?” Karak asked. The archon answered his question by stepping forward into the space just vacated by the slain rogue. 

Keldas chose an opportune moment to join the fight. Two summoned archons of his own joined the fray, bobbing forward to attack the dark archon. “I think, brothers, you should return home,” the dark archon boasted.

“Eat sword,” they responded.

Things were looking up, but the party was not ready for one last trick of evil. From across the room one last invisible rogue finally acted, stepping forward to thrust a blade between Keldas’ ribs. Keldas body stiffened as poison took hold; he was paralyzed almost instantly.

The duergar monk assessed the new development and acted with practiced precision. She ran to join the rogue, grabbed Keldas, and together they all teleported away. The dark archon didn’t wait long before he, too, teleported away, taking the rest of their strike force with them. “Another time…”

“Sons of…” Wulf growled. “Gah!” 

He grabbed a ring from the finger of the fallen rogue and tried desperately to get it working. There was a brief spark, followed by not-so-brief cursing. What did he hope to accomplish? Wulf’s frustration threatened to overwhelm his usual good sense.

“Let’s go!” said the paladin. “We’ve got to rescue Keldas!”

“Screw it,” said Wulf. “They must’ve took him alive for a reason. Either he’ll get himself out of it, or we’ll just have to go get him tomorrow. Put it on my friggin’ schedule.”

“Right…” agreed Dorn. “Let’s loot this body, and identify what we can.”

“I’ll tell yer one thing,” Wulf said, nursing his sore finger. “When I get this ring of invisibility workin’, some bastard’s gonna pay.”

*****

Returning home to the Forge, they scried on Keldas at the first opportunity.

He was bound with thick chains, spread-eagled between two sturdy columns in what appeared to be Imperagon’s war room. A gag was in his mouth-- yet, he was awake, and apparently cogent.

Looking around, Dorn could see curtains at both ends of the room. Imperagon was there, seated in a throne, his allies arrayed around him: the duergar monk, the dark archon, a cloud giant with a cryohydra pet. An old woman stood near Imperagon, clutching Keldas’ staff. They also saw a kyton, and now noticed the chains hanging from every surface. 

“We need to buy ourselves some rust monsters,” Wulf suggested. “Any ideas?”

“We’re gonna need a miracle,” Dorn said, looking at the Old Man. “What’s it gonna cost us?”

 “This time, fourteen-thousand.”

Wulf rolled his eyes. “Hey, thanks for the discount. We’ll keep it simple, then; an easy miracle. Just remove the gag from his mouth-- nice and easy.”

The gag slipped away ever so slightly. Acting quickly, Keldas spoke the words to invoke a _teleport_. They saw him disappear, and moments later he appeared beside them.

“Welcome home,” Wulf said.

“They got my staff…”

“Am I gonna have to tie that thing to yer mitten strings?”

“Wanna hit them now while they’re all gathered up?” asked Dorn. 

Wulf thought about the chains on the walls, and how effective his party of spellcasters would be, bound up and grappled by the kyton. “I’d rather not.”

“We can’t enter directly, at any rate,” Keldas advised them. “The place is sealed with _forbiddance_. It is proof against ingoing _teleport_.”

Dorn nodded. “We likely won’t be able to enter at all unless we’re evil. The spell will hedge out good-- or anyone not of Imperagon’s ethos.”

“That can’t be right,” Wulf said. “Surely he has to be able to receive visitors. He’s a businessman, after all.”

Dorn scratched his beard. “I guess you can key the spell to a password. If we had the password, which we don’t, we could enter.”

 “I’ll go have a nice chat with miss Arrinna, then,” Wulf said, already heading out the door to see their prisoner. He looked at Keldas and the Old Man. “Yer… ach, right, yer just wait here for me. Shouldn’t be long.”

_But one can always hope,_ he thought.

*****

Wulf returned shortly. “_Fiery might conquers…_” he announced, grinning happily. 

“She told you?”

Wulf nodded. “Diplomacy.”

“So… tomorrow, then?” Karak asked.

They all nodded. 

“I suppose I should see about warding this place with our own _forbiddance_,” said the Old Man, excusing himself. 

“Yer just let me know if yer want any suggestions on the pass-phrase,” Wulf called after him.

*****

The next day they stood several hundred yards off the main gate of Imperagon’s mighty fortress. They could see that the front gate was guarded by an immense iron golem with wicked bladed hands. Steel predators slunk about in the shadows under the gatehouse.

“Now, we have the password,” said Keldas. “So we should be able to just bluff our way past the golem.”

“Right,” Wulf nodded. He gave Keldas the thumbs up.

They walked to the front gate, and the golem rose to meet them as they came near the gate. 

“_WHO SEEKS ENTRY?_” it bellowed, its voice sounding forth from hollow lungs that boomed like empty drums being kicked down a long flight of stairs. 

“Wulf DRAGON-bane!” Wulf shouted back. 

The party stood agape at him. Wulf’s weapons had somehow found their way into his hands.

“What?” Wulf said, shrugging. “I’m incognito.”

And the fight was on. 

Keldas’ dragon launched itself through the air at the golem, snapping feebly as it flew by, but its jaws could not penetrate the golem’s metal hide. The golem was prepared, and slashed at the dragon’s side as it passed, scoring a deep, bleeding wound.

Karak charged forward and was immediately pounced on by both predators. They took turns savaging him.

Keldas cast _rapid strikes_ on Dorn and _keen edge_ on _Taranak_ and shooed the two dwarves  into the fray. Wulf stepped quickly to Karak’s aid: the predators were intent on grappling with the paladin, and Wulf had little difficulty shredding the predator’s exposed flanks. Dorn was right behind him to finish it off. Karak stumbled to his feet and watched the remaining predator warily.

Somehow the golem had settled on Dorn as the greatest threat, and it slashed at him twice with its huge, cleaver-like hands.

“Finish off that predator so we can take this thing down!” yelled Wulf. He was a firm believer in attacking the weakest link of a chain first, but they couldn’t afford to spend much time on the predator with their backs to the golem. 

Keldas cast _hold monster_ on the predator, once, twice, both times with no luck. The predator had backed off now, having learned from the other’s mistake not to grapple up with enemies at its flanks. It sat back on its haunches and roared at the group, pounding them all with sonic energy.

“Screw it,” said Wulf, grabbing Dorn and steering him towards the golem. “Let the assmar worry about the cat, we need a heavy hitter on this golem.”

He swung _Taranak_ at the golem, but even prepared with _greater magic weapon_, he couldn’t seem to hit it.

“Are you holding back or what?” Dorn asked. 

“A bit,” Wulf admitted, maneuvering to keep Dorn within arm’s reach.

Karak and the dragon continued to work on the predator, but it wasn’t falling for the bait. It continued to elude them and roared across the group once again. Wulf and Dorn were unimpressed but it was surely taking its toll on Keldas. 

Wulf and Dorn continued working on the golem. Dorn would take a step to flank the golem with his great-axe, and Wulf would take a step to follow him. 

Dorn was getting impatient. “Gimme some room and flank him, yer not even hurt yet!”

The golem’s bladed arm came whistling down on Dorn. Wulf hauled Dorn aside, then nimbly stepped under the blade to take the blow instead. He tried his best to turn it aside with expertise, to no avail.

“Sorry,” he panted. “Yer was sayin?”

Keldas saw Wulf’s plan and cast a _haste_ on him before retreating to the sky, out of reach of the predator. The thing roared one last time; Dorn finally dropped the golem, and Wulf was clear to pounce on the predator with everything he had. In moments, it collapsed, and the way was clear.

Korak and Dorn brought out their wands of _cure serious wounds_ to hurry the party along. Keldas was severely wounded, as the predator had made sure to center Keldas in every sonic blast. Dorn couldn’t help commenting as he healed him up.

“Why do the bad guys always pick on you, Keldas?”

“They can tell who’s the man, I guess,” he deadpanned.

“Yeah,” Wulf snorted. “It’s the guy in the slippers, right?”

***

Just inside the main entrance they found a storeroom holding some uniforms marked with a fiery scimitar. “Let’s wear these,” Wulf suggested. “Maybe it’ll fool the golems.”

They found the interior of the fortress surprisingly small and cramped-- all the better, as it narrowed their options. At the end of a short hallway to the north, they found a door, warm to the touch, and the dragon informed them that he could hear a low, animal snoring from inside. Assuming it would be more steel predators, they turned south.

Wulf slowly opened the door they found there. An ogre-mage stood inside the spartan room, flanked by a couple of stone guardians. He seemed to be watching the north wall, where a long curtain bisected the room. The ogre-mage looked askance at the group, then turned away, disinterested. 

Wulf shrugged, walked into the room, and cut the legs out from underneath the unsuspecting ogre. Dorn stepped in quickly behind him.

“Stick on him!” he said. “Don’t let him cast!” Dorn cast a _silence_ spell on Wulf, who was already grinning in eager anticipation. But it was not to be: the ogre-mage retreated behind the curtain, as the statue guardians came to life to attack Wulf and Dorn.

Wulf disengaged from the statue, tumbling off behind the curtain in pursuit of the ogre-mage. When he rolled to his feet on the other side, he was standing in a smaller curtained cell-- and face-to-face with a mind flayer.

Like clockwork, Wulf’s dwarven instincts took over: He succumbed to a sustained screaming fit.

A long, silent, unanswered scream.

Desperate, Wulf fumbled at the _ring of invisibility_ on his finger. Somehow, miraculously, he got the damn thing to work. Things were looking up, now. He was isolated on the other side of the curtain from the rest of his group, true enough, facing a mind flayer, silenced and with no way to warn them, yes-- but at least you couldn’t say he wasn’t invisible. He grinned and gave himself a little mental “Thumbs up!”

Back in the other room, Keldas stepped in, saw Dorn hacking one of the statue guardians to pieces, and nonchalantly leaned up against the wall. “Looks like you guys have this under control.”

The mind flayer turned towards Wulf with a hungry little quiver of its tentacles, feeling for him, feeling for his presence with its tentacles as well as its mind. Wulf knew what was coming, and it was then that he felt the almost tangible presence of Haela Brightaxe, hovering over his shoulder, offering him good luck.

_Piss off!_ Wulf thought. He had enough problems just worrying about Moradin’s steely-grey peepers on him all the time. _Wulf Ratbane ain't none o’ yer concern!_. A powerful wave of psionic energy washed over Wulf--  but he fought it off. 

_I don’t believe in luck,_ he thought. _Good or bad._

Another mind flayer suddenly stepped out from the adjacent curtained cell. 

_Ok, that’s pretty bad…_

The second ‘flayer blasted Wulf; again he felt Haela calling to him, and again he refused her aid and stubbornly resisted the overpowering psionic energy on his own. “Luck’s got nothin’ to do with it!” He shouted and shook his fists, though there was no one to see or hear.

The ogre-mage cast a _cone of cold_ at the group hovering around the doorway. The dragon shook it off and slinked into the room. Its keen senses had somehow warned it that there was something lurking behind the curtains, and it fired a blast of its lightning breath across the ogre-mage and both mind flayers. 

The ogre mage had had enough, and wisely turned to gaseous form. But the dragon’s lightning blast had provided just the jump-start Wulf needed. He grabbed the closest mind flayer by its face-tentacles and frenziedly beat its brains out in about three seconds flat. Now visible, and covered in mauve-colored gore, Wulf staggered backwards out of the cloister, ripping down what was left of the curtains and gesturing wildly the way he had come.

The second mind flayer knew the jig was up. It stepped out and positioned itself to blast everyone in the room. Wulf and Dorn, the two dwarves, were the only ones _stunned_. Wulf stood there slobbering stupidly, surprised as he was to see Dorn standing there slobbering stupidly as well. He took this as proof positive that Haela Brightaxe was full of…

Shifting over slightly from behind the stone guardian, Karak finally hove into view. He smoothly drew his _ghost touch_ bastard sword and swung full-force at the misty form of the ogre-mage. The ghostly vapor was scattered and Karak continued his swing right into the mind flayer. It dropped to the ground, cleft nearly in twain. Karak wrenched his sword from the rubbery hide and turned just in time to see his dragon finish off the last statue guardian.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Lord of the Iron Fortress-- Part VII*

Dorn quickly busied himself with healing their minor wounds, then suddenly announced that he was leaving. “Haela’s business. I’ll send Shorty and Diessa along in the meantime.”

“I thought this _was_ Haela’s business,” Wulf grumbled. 

Losing Dorn for Diessa was a bitter pill, but it went down a bit sweeter when Shorty showed up. The little halfling was eager to get down to business. “Where to?” he asked, as they gathered up just inside the fortress entrance. 

“Well, let’s keep exploring this floor round the same way we have been,” Wulf suggested. “Counterclockwise.” 

Keldas nodded in agreement. 

The next door opened onto a magically darkened room. The party huddled briefly to bicker over how to tackle the room, but their decision was made for them as a toothy steel maw suddenly lunged out of the darkness. Karak was knocked off his feet and dragged into the room. There was a sickening crunch, followed by a shrill and lingering shriek of anguish.

Keldas dispelled the darkness so they could move in. A steel predator had pinned Karak under its paws, while a second one nearby munched contentedly on his sundered long sword. A third predator sat nearby with a bemused look on its non-face.

Shorty carefully dropped a hemispherical _wall of force_ over two of the predators, while Wulf stepped up to deal savagely with the predator preoccupied with Karak. All things considered, it wasn’t too bad.

But the loss of his magic longsword seemed to have shattered Karak’s spine, as well. He activated his _helm of teleportation_, hoping to teleport just a few feet away and re-enter the fray. Instead, he disappeared completely. 

The predator hardly missed a beat, switching quickly to focus on Wulf. He too was grappled and pulled into the thing’s embrace. 

“Gimme a sec, I got it,” Wulf said. He twisted, slipped out of its grasp, and brought _Taranak_ around on it with crushing force. Smoke and flame burst around the wound, and the thing was so grievously wounded that Shorty easily finished it off with a _magic missile_.

Inside the dome of force, the predators lay down to munch on the remains of Karak’s sword. He’d been slowly building up its enchantment, hoping one day that his temple would turn it into a full fledged _Holy Avenger_. 

So much for that. 

Eventually, Karak came shuffling back into the room with them. “The teleport popped me just outside the fortress.”

“Forbiddance, I assume,” said Keldas. “Interesting effect.”

“We’re leaving, right?” Karak asked.

“What the hell for?” Wulf said.

Karak tried his best to be condescending. “Well, in case you didn’t notice, I just lost my sword.”

“Yer got another weapon, right?” Wulf asked, patting down his own bristling armory. Axe, dagger, hand axe, another dagger, light mace, dagger, darts… Check check check.

“Yes, but I like my long sword. That’s my best weapon.”

“Cry me a river,” Wulf said. “Next time yer know to diversify. Get out the bastard sword and let’s go.”

Shorty pointed at the two predators he’d imprisoned. “What about these? That wall of force won’t last but a few minutes.”

Wulf sighed. He really didn’t want to fight steel predators. They weren’t deadly, but those claws were hell on his shins. 

“Well,” said Shorty, sensing his hesitation. “How about I drop the wall of force and hit them with a prismatic spray? That would be fun…”

Keldas arched an eybrow. 

“Shorty’s got some new tricks,” said the halfling, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’d pay to see that,” said Wulf.

Shorty prepared himself, dismissed the wall of force, and was just about to let fly with his _prismatic spray_, when a small boy suddenly appeared between him and his targets. Shorty paused only briefly to decide that small boys who appeared out of the thin Acheronian air in the fortress of an evil half-dragon were probably up to no good, and he let fly anyway.

One predator was turned to stone, one was bathed in acid. The small boy was blasted with a ray of poison but it might as well have been a ray of gumdrops and lollipops for as much as he seemed to care.

_Definitely_ up to no good.

The remaining predator dragged Wulf into its razor-sharp embrace, but Keldas was ready: He turned it into a fish.

By now the small boy had started casting a spell. Wulf rolled to his feet and charged him with both hands wrapped around the haft of his axe. If only it could have been a _real_ small boy, Wulf would have lopped his head off from the waist up. As it was, however, the thing had no trouble maintaining its concentration to finish its spell. A _fireball_ exploded into the room. 

Wulf was unscathed, of course. He watched as Keldas’ own small boy,  now transformed into his natural dragon form, breathed a scorching bolt of lightning across... err... the other small boy.

Wulf cursed. Vicious small-boy-on-small-boy action was one thing, but wasting precious time breathing lightning on outsiders was quite another. So he was quite surprised when the boy disappeared in the wake of the blast.

“Did yer get him?” Wulf asked, highly skeptical. 

The dragon ignored him. It was staring over his shoulder to the back of the room, where a cloud giant and its pet hydra had suddenly appeared. 

The cloud giant was either fast, or it had been preparing for them. It cast a spell almost as soon as it appeared.

And just as quickly—faster, actually, to be precise—Keldas countered it. “_Abu Dalzim’s Horrid Wilting_?” said the frail elf. “Ahh, I think not…”

The hydra breathed—a bath of frosty cold. Wulf evaded the blast, but he wasn’t confident of his allies behind him. The blast, apparently, had frozen their brains.

For starters, the assmar, unsatisfied with a “mere” Ghost Touch bastard sword, tried casting _holy sword_ on his weapon—though in the cramped confines of the room, he was well within reach of the cloud giant. The giant wasted no time in utterly pasting the paladin with its huge _flaming_ morning star. Karak buckled with the blow.

Now it was Shorty’s turn, and he made the best of it by casting _cone of cold_. Onto the cloud giant. And its cold-breathing cryohydra.

“Stupid sons of…” Wulf’s knuckles cracked in frustration. “Ach!”

Keldas, at least, had his wits about him. He cast _mass haste_.

“Now we’re talkin’.” Wulf twisted the ring of invisibility on his finger and disappeared. One short step brought the hydra within reach, and pulling his dagger into his off-hand, Wulf proceeded to dismantle the thing with grisly precision. When he reappeared, there wasn’t much left of the hydra.

Wulf had hoped to lure the giant, confident of his inborn giant-slayin’ abilities, but the giant was simply having too much fun with the paladin. It heaved about with its morning star, slamming the assmar twice more despite his best defenses.

Karak stumbled back into the corner, trying to escape the thing, but he’d clearly learned nothing from his previous mistake. Once again he dropped his defenses and turned his attention to his wounds, trying to _lay on hands_. The giant laughed—truth be told, Wulf couldn’t stifle his own chuckle—as the giant took advantage of the opportunity to knock the paladin to death’s door.

Shorty picked up the slack, first casting _slow_ on the giant and then _hold monster_ for good measure.

Against his better judgement, and with hands shaking from barely suppressed laughter, Wulf bound the paladin’s wounds… just in time.

Wulf rolled the gargantuan morningstar into his _portable hole_ as the others looked on in disbelief. Wulf just shrugged. “Ach… maybe Verachus will buy it. I’m not in this for my health, yer know.”

After healing up they adventured on. Following their inward spiral of the tower, they opened onto a room with two of the blade-handed iron golems. The golems stood inert, but waiting. They decided to backtrack before triggering the golems.

Spiraling out to the outside of the tower, they found what appeared to be the cloud giant’s bedroom. Wulf snuck in, needlessly wary of traps, and looted the room for the few gems he could find. 

And that was it. They’d seen everything there was to see, so it was back to the iron golems. 

Wulf sighed. “I’m looking forward to tangling with these about as much as having my pants full of steel predators.” Without Dorn, and knowing the paladin’s backup weapon wouldn’t so much as scratch the finish on them, Wulf knew he’d be handling the brunt of the combat.

Shorty tugged Wulf back by his belt. “Pardon…” he said, as he cast a _wall of force_ that trapped the two golems safely into the corner. 

“Moving right along,” he said. “Quickly though.” He wagged his stumpy finger in warning. His spell wouldn’t last forever.

The golems guarded a short, narrow passage that led out of the room and ended in two doors.  They could feel heat emanating from the doors. Wulf turned and hustled everyone back out of the room so he could work them over for traps.

_Grand adventures call for grand heroes,_ Wulf thought. He looked around the corner at his comrades, who waited patiently for him to detect any traps the doors might hold. Wulf knew full well that his skills—though often tested—were useless. He gritted his teeth and just yanked the bloody doors open.

Wulf was never quite certain what the two _symbols_ were that he triggered that day, but he could tell from the queasiness in his guts that only his epic fortitude and dwarven resilience to magic saved him from an unexpected date with Haela. Or Moradin. Or whoever the hell was runnin’ the show.

The doors opened onto two staircases: one up, one down. Wulf called the party over and gestured at the staircases. “Decisions, decisions,” he mused.

“I think we should retreat and regroup,” suggested the paladin.

A tiny, mocking voice piped up from behind. “Aww, does Karak miss his wittle sword?” Shorty was uncharacteristically bitter. Wulf was liking him more by the minute.

“Up we go,” Wulf said.

The stairs at the top ended in a door that resisted all their attempts to open it. Shorty tried to _dispel_ it, to no avail. 

“Are yer sure yer usin’ that spell right?” Wulf asked. 

Shorty ignored him and tried again. And again. And again. Four times, no luck.

While Wulf was busy both admiring the halfling’s tenacity and bemoaning his general ineptitude, and Shorty was trying to curse his way _through_ the door, Keldas glided past to think his way _around_ the problem. He _disintegrated_ the wall beside the door. He stepped aside to give everyone a clear view of the room inside. 

The room was dark—not so much magically dark as rather supernaturally so—but they could make out rows and rows of dark, tattered hangings. It was like a side-show haunted house, divided up by curtains to screen the deeper portions of the room. 

They were unanimous in their suspicions. Even the most optimistic adventurer couldn’t help a sense of paranoia at the creepy décor.

“Who’s going in?” asked Karak, trying unsuccessfully to keep the tone in his voice from betraying the answer he already knew. 

“Well,” said Wulf, “I have an idea for starters. Diessa, cast a _divine storm_ in there—about head height—and shred those hangings to pieces. Then we can talk about who’s goin’ in.”

Diessa complied and in moments, the curtains were shredded around the room. Though the room was darker than it should be, they could see into it. There was lots of dust, and… were there bits of bone here and there?

Wulf looked at Karak.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “One o’ them curtains drops down an’ surrounds yer, I _promise_ to come in and hack on yer. Ach, _it_, rather.”

After much coaxing, Karak took the first tentative steps into the room. “What exactly do you want me to do here, Wulf?”

Wulf kept a safe, respectable distance from the room, and called in. “Yer know. The usual. Kick some o’ them bones around. _Disturb_ things. If there’s an altar, lick it!”

The paladin shuffled around in the scraps. Ere long he discovered a small black pouch. He picked it up and came trotting out of the room. Wulf retreated from the paladin’s proffered pouch. Grabbing Keldas, he hustled him forward. “Looks like magic, elf. Check ‘er out.”

Keldas took the pouch. “Hmm… Conjuration magic.” He opened the pouch. 

A huge, cat-like, ghostly figure suddenly appeared and attacked the wizard. Karak acted so quickly Wulf barely had time to be impressed. The ghost-touch bastard sword whistled out and sliced the hellish, hissing creature in half quicker than you could say, “Fras!”

The pouch contained a valuable black pearl, and as the room had no other methods of entry or exit, and the party was otherwise stymied, Wulf amused himself by arguing with the paladin over the pearl. 

“Can I have that pearl for my dragon?” “No.” “Please?” “Hell no.”

“Quiet, you two,” Keldas said. “The tower is obviously larger than just this single room. I am thinking of a way past these walls.”

“Just _disintegrate_ it again,” suggested Shorty.

“I have used my only _disintegration_ for the day.”

“Tee hee!” snorted Shorty.

Keldas snapped his fingers. “Polymorph Any Object,” he said. And like that, he turned a large section of the iron wall into mud.

Wulf stared at the oozing slop. “Mud? MUD? Yer can turn it into anything yer want, anything in the world, and that’s the best yer come up with? How about diamond dust? Or a nekkid woman?”

Diessa rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. “Please, can we move along?”

“Nice rack!” Wulf exclaimed, pushing past the priestess.

The gap opened onto a vast chamber—_definitely_ giant-sized, Wulf thought—with a large table, chairs, and a long curtain that served as the western wall. But it was the weapons rack on the southern wall, full of masterwork blades, that lured Wulf into the room. Most of the weapons were giant-sized, but Wulf studied them briefly with a craftsman’s curiosity. They bore Imperagon’s maker’s mark.

“Wulf, come check out this desk,” said Shorty. Wulf stumped his way over to the east side of the room and gave the desk a cursory once-over before coming across a metal box. Like the door they had experienced earlier, the box somehow “resisted” being opened.

Wulf now moved to the door next to the weapons rack. Though the party was still mulling about in the room behind him, the lack of enemies on the upper floor had lulled Wulf into a false sense of security. He tugged open the door.

The door opened immediately onto the corner of an L-shaped balcony that overlooked a deeper chamber below—an area of the lower level they had not previously uncovered. Wulf spotted two giants standing on the lower level—even with his limited powers of observation he could hardly miss them, especially as they were staring right at him and reaching for hefty boulders.

“Sorry, wrong room,” Wulf said, speaking Giantish. He hadn’t found much use for it since Halma died, but he was glad to have it handy. He casually slammed the door.

“SHORTY!” he hissed. “Get up here and _chain lightning_ them-- again and again!”

“No way,” Shorty said. “Maybe you guys get in front, gimme some cover first, I’ll do it.”

“For goodness sake!” Keldas moaned. “All these demands, you’d think he was a teamster or something.”

It took them far too long to get themselves organized and open the door again. The scene was a little different when they yanked the door open again.

Two steel predators. Two fire giants. The duergar monk. An old woman-- with Keldas’ staff. A gelugon, no doubt summoned from that staff. The evil “trumpet archon,” aka, small boy #2. 

Helkitren. 

And Imperagon.

Wulf drew his weapons. “Let’s roll.”

Wulf was jostled out of the way as Keldas and the dragon plowed into the room. An unexpected move, Wulf thought, but the element of surprise was already lost to Imperagon and his allies. Imperagon cast a spell and a ghostly warhammer appeared in the air above Keldas.

“Oooh! Watch out,” Keldas sneered. “He’s a low-level cleric!”

_True enough,_ Wulf thought. _Is that the best he’s got?_

Wulf could hear Shorty’s incantations behind him. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, in anticipation of the chain lightning that would blast their enemies apart—but nothing happened. Shorty’s spell fizzled, countered by some unholy aura that protected all their enemies. He tried again, but his second spell fared no better.

Shorty cut loose with a blast of profanity that turned even Wulf’s ears red. “This sucks! I’m useless! I’m teleporting home!”

“Nooooo!” Keldas shouted. His eye was on the prize: the staff carried by the old woman.

From somewhere ahead Keldas heard an infernal cackle and the sound of spellcasting. An invisible devil—clearly, a very powerful devil at that—cut loose with a _meteor swarm_, with Shorty at ground zero. Shorty’s skin flared, red and scaly, and he counted himself lucky that he’d prepared a _dragonskin_ spell earlier.

“Impressive,” said the fallen archon. “Now try this.”

Shorty resisted the _destruction_ spell—barely. 

“And this…” 

Shorty lit up like a lightning rod at the center of a _chain lightning_.

“They’ve got a hard-on for Shorty today…” Wulf couldn’t defend the halfling against spells. There was nothing he could do but hold the door.

Two steel predators crept up in front of Wulf and roared. Shorty was completely shredded by the sonic blast. Dead and gone—but at least the roaring drowned out the tiny whimper.

Keldas knew he’d be next. He cast _power word stun_ on the old woman, to no effect, followed by _maze_, with similar, unsatisfactory results.

“We can’t get spells through!” he groaned.

The old woman flashed a toothy grin and blasted Keldas with a spell from the staff. Wulf didn’t recognize the spell, but he could recognize the effects from the vapid stare on Keldas’ face. A fate worse than death: _feeblemind_. 

With rocks from the giants raining down around them, Wulf grabbed Shorty’s remains, Diessa cast _plane shift_, and they all returned home. Well, almost home.

Wulf and Diessa compared notes. At a conservative estimate, they were several hundreds of miles from the Forge, with no easy way to _teleport_ home besides the paladin’s helm.

Wulf unrolled the _portable hole_. 

“Not again,” said Karak.

“It’s all right,” Wulf said. “Keldas, get in the hole!”

With all the happy obedience of a lobotomized puppy, Keldas obliged. Wulf tossed Shorty’s remains in after him. 

Wulf stared at the dragon. “Yer turn, boy.”

The dragon transformed and hopped into the hole. He stood looking at Shorty’s remains, and seemed genuinely touched. 

They rolled up the hole, and Karak _teleported_ back to the Forge with the two dwarves. The Old Man was waiting for them.

“You’ve failed _again_?” he asked.

“Sarcasm noted,” Wulf said. “Just get busy with the feeb-healin’ and peck-ressurectin’.”

Karak sat down with a pathetic sigh.

“And get somebody to fix his bleedin’ sword!” 

Wulf stomped off to make his own preparations.

***

Soon enough, as usual, they were ready to try again. Imperagon had beefed up his front gate security: Two giants, a golem, and—if the dragon was to be believed—some kind of invisible bird now guarded the front door.

One of the giants turned to run for help and was immediately _disintegrated_ by Keldas. Playing tit-for-tat, the bird somehow attempted to _disintegrate_ Keldas, but the unusually hearty elf resisted its effects. The battle was soon in full swing; with Shorty and Keldas lending magical support, Wulf and Karak took care of the golem and the dragon tangled with the invisible bird. 

Two _concussions_ and an _inertial barrier_ later, they realized the bird was some kind of psion. Little help against the jaws of the dragon, however. Soon enough, Imperagon’s guards were dispatched, and they stepped to the front doors. 

They were locked—and the password had apparently been changed.

“Yeah,” Wulf said. “That’ll stop me.” _Taranak_ blazed to life in Wulf’s hands and he started hacking his way through the front doors. After a moment of disbelief, Karak stepped up to lend a hand with his reforged sword.

“Remind me,” said Shorty. “Why are doing this, again? Other than HIS quest?” He pointed an accusatory finger at the paladin.

“Well, there are some dwarven souls trapped here,” said Keldas, clearly struggling with it himself.

“Oh, so NOW there’s a point,” said Shorty. 

Wulf was through the doors and in the sudden silence overheard their conversation. “Ey! Don’t look at me. I’m here for adamantium, and if I’m not mistaken, there’s the little matter of yer staff…”

Wulf booted his way through the remains of the doors and led the charge up the stairs. The dragon bounded alongside, his keen eyes, ears, and nose on the look-out for invisible enemies. “Mephit,” he announced. “Running off to warn them, no doubt…”

“This is suicide… again,” groused Shorty.

“It’s all right, I got a plan,” Wulf said.

“Now?” asked the dragon.

“Not yet. When yer see two out o’ three bad-asses,” Wulf said. He handed a scroll to the dragon. 

“Wait a second, what’s up?” asked Karak.

“_Anti-magic shell._” Wulf shrugged. 

“But that will remove all his protections…”

Wulf tried hard to contain his exasperation, hoping there was a chance that logic would persuade the paladin. “Yer see anybody else standin’ here as good in the buff as yer dragon?”

“Keep that thing away from me,” Shorty said.

“Seconded,” said Keldas.

“I don’t mind,” said the dragon. “It’s a chance…”

Karak was unconvinced.

“He’s a friggin’ _dragon_,” said Wulf. “Not a horse. Not a boy. Grow a pair already.”

“Maybe he should read it now, then,” said Karak. He was slowly warming to the idea.

“Two out o’ three,” said Wulf. “Old woman and Imperagon,”

“Imperagon’s a low-level cleric,” Keldas reminded him.

“… Trumpet archon and pit fiend,” Wulf continued. “Yer get the idea, right?”

Diessa was wasting no time with conversation. She cast _freedom of movement_ on Wulf and _silence_ on a small stone. That would reduce the impact of the steel predators. She gestured to the door. 

The spellcasters backed up and Wulf booted the door. A gelugon stood ready on the balcony, towering over the doorway, but he was too slow to handle Wulf. _Taranak_ blossomed in his right hand and his _chaos mace_ found its way into his other. His _helm of protection from evil_ would protect him, but with a rousing cry of “Ferkit!” Wulf was committed to action. Mere seconds later the gelugon was nearly out of the fight. Wulf’s wide stance left no doubt that they’d have to go through him if they wanted to hassle his friends behind him.

Diessa cast _recitation_ and _invisibility purge_ while giants from the floor below the balcony hurled rocks. Wulf held his ground until he heard the dragon reading the scroll behind him. Wulf crossed his fingers, well aware that there was some chance the dragon would flub the powerful magic. Soon, however, he felt his magic items wane, and he stepped aside long enough for the dragon to slink through the door and charge the old woman. 

The pit fiend appeared, and proving himself a creature of habit, he sent another _meteor swarm_ Shorty’s way. Once again, red _dragonskin_ made the difference between life and death for the little sorcerer.

Now wrapped in an anti-magic field and faced with the powerful jaws of a dragon, the old woman took the better part of valor, tucked up her skirts, and raced for the back of the room. The trumpet archon scoffed at this turn of events, and it soon became clear that he had his own agenda. He cast _greater dispelling_ on Karak and started making his way along the balcony to get to grips with his hated foe. 

Shorty cast _slow_ on a group of villains that had assembled in front of the door. Among the predator, gelugon, the duergar monk, and the smoke mephit, only the mephit seemed affected. 

Keldas was puzzling over the insane amount of spell resistance that all of Imperagon’s allies seemed to share, and he finally figured out that it was due to an _unholy aura_ that protected them all. He had little time to act on his knowledge, however, as the gelugon suddenly disappeared from Wulf’s reach and _teleported_ itself into the room behind him. Shorty, Keldas, and Diessa were all within reach of its wicked claws. 

Imperagon appeared suddenly as he stepped within range of the _invisibility purge_ and he took a swipe at Wulf. “Bring it!” Wulf grinned as he easily dodged the blow. Wulf’s attention was diverted from the huge fire elemental that suddenly appeared on the balcony. Unable to attack Wulf directly due to his _protection from evil_, the creature took a swipe over his head at Karak. Wulf felt the heat wave pass over his head but didn’t give the creature a second thought.

Helkitren, Lord of the Salamanders, stepped out from the room below and showered the group with lightning. 

_That bastard is three or four adventures overdue for his ass-kickin’,_ Wulf thought. What with Imperagon, Helkitren, and the sight of the dragon down below, absolutely freaking out on one of the giants with jaws, claws, and wings, Wulf didn’t see the steel predators leaping at him. The first dragged him down with its jaws and the second clamped down on _Taranak_. Its teeth glanced harmlessly off the shaft.

“_Greater magic weapon…_” Wulf growled. “No go.”

The female duergar stepped up to Wulf and rained blows on him with fists and feet. “That would work better with an axe,” Wulf said, still struggling in the jaws of the steel predator. “Gimme just one second, I’ll show yer…”

“Enough boasting,” said the archon. He cast _destruction_, and once again Wulf felt the now-familiar calling of Haela Bright-axe. Bad luck now could kill him. 

_I’ll take my chances,_ he thought. He brushed away thoughts of Haela and steeled himself against the spell. It hurt—but he wasn’t dead. 

Beneath the claws of the gelugon, Keldas bent his concentration on dispelling the _unholy aura_. Twice he tried _greater dispelling_, twice he failed. Shorty, too, failed with his own _greater dispelling_. He wasn’t willing to waste a second action, however; he cast _confusion_ into the room—but it was countered by the unholy aura! The gelugon chuckled and created a _wall of ice_ to separate the three spellcasters from Wulf, Karak, and the dragon.

It began to dawn on the group that they were losing… again.

Karak stepped up to lend aid to Wulf, landing blow after blow and wounding the steel predator just enough for Wulf to finish it off and regain his feet. Wulf’s mace swept out and landed two powerful blows into Imperagon’s ribs. Imperagon staggered back and Wulf took a quick step of his own back through the doorway, putting the _wall of ice_ at his back.

Diessa cast _dispel evil_ and with one touch, the gelugon’s _wall of ice_ was gone. They could see into the room again, but it wasn’t a pretty sight: The giants had surrounded the dragon and were dismantling it limb from limb. Its duty unfulfilled, the dragon was forced to flee—and was nearly killed in the fleeing. 

“To the side door!” shouted Karak. A door to their left led off the balcony and (if they were lucky) should join up with the others in the back room. The dragon limped and bounded towards the door, well aware that the slinking mephit was on its heels. The dragon knew it was near enough death that the mephit might actually finish it off. But it was the evil archon on the balcony that was the prime concern.

All of Karak’s focus was suddenly on his dragon and he just barely pulled his sword out of the snapping jaws of the last predator. Their enemies, sensing weakness, converged on the paladin. The duergar monk tumbled past Wulf, hoping to strike Karak with a stunning blow, but the paladin’s growing determination was not to be deterred so simply. Imperagon stepped over to block the paladin’s path. Summoning his will, Karak twice tried to smite Imperagon, but his determination had given way to desperation, and he missed wildly. Imperagon’s own hammer struck true, however, and Karak was pressed back. He could only watch in frustration as the giants hurled boulders at the retreating dragon, determined to bring it down. By the narrowest of margins, the dragon somehow cheated death and escaped into the side door—with the archon in hot pursuit.

Back in the room behind them, Keldas attempted to _disintegrate_ the gelugon, and failing that, followed with a _power word stun_. This time, at last, his magic was true. And while the gelugon stood reeling, Shorty was finally able to dispel the _unholy aura!_

A second gelugon, summoned by the old woman—more precisely, summoned by Keldas’ staff—suddenly appeared in their midst, cackled wildly, and created a new _unholy aura_. A third gelugon created a _wall of ice_ across the main doorway. They were right back in the frying pan. The laughter of their foes was drowned out by Wulf’s howl of frustration. “Sons o’ bitches!” Wulf stepped back into the room and, in one swift stroke, crushed the skull of the stunned gelugon.

The old woman was non-plussed. A _fireball_ streaked from the tip of Keldas’ staff and detonated in the room, blasting friend and foe alike. Among her allies, only the duergar monk was harmed—and neither the old woman nor Wulf and his allies gave her a second thought as she fled the battlefield.

There was no doubt that Keldas was the more experienced caster as he managed to fire off spell after spell. However, though he seemed able to overcome the _unholy aura_, he couldn’t seem to best his enemies’ natural resistance. The second gelugon easily resisted both a _polymorph any object_ and a _hold monster._ 

Karak raced across the back room and threw wide the door into the hallway where his dragon had retreated. He cast _heal mount_ and the dragon was back in the fight. Unfortunately, Karak had wounds of his own to worry about, and the archon was eager for his blood. The archon’s trumpet transformed into a huge sword.

Wulf suddenly burst past Karak into the hallway, and together with the dragon assailed the archon. The creature’s defenses were nigh impenetrable—its natural armor, its supernatural reflexes, and its skill at arms were too much. The archon sneered at Karak and turned to stab its sword into the dragon’s chest.

Back on the balcony, their foes suddenly realized that the battle lines had completely shifted. Helkitren _fireballed_ the _wall of ice_ and a giant and a steel predator charged through. The pit fiend stepped through a _dimension door_ and attempted an _aura of fear_, but the group had come together around Karak and the paladin’s courageousness carried them all through.

Karak cast _Holy Sword_ on his weapon. Clearly, he was pissed.

He stepped up to strike the archon, one!  two! three blows!—or was it four? Truthfully, Wulf lost count in the deafening whiff-whiff-whiff of unsuccessful strikes. 

Shorty cast _cone of cold_ at the enemies pouring into the room. His first attempt, in a nod to the traditional uselessness of halflings, failed utterly to beat the spell resistance of their foes. But the second attempt! A wave of cold washed over the giant and the predator in the room, killing the giant dead and wounding the predator severely. The spell picked up momentum as it passed through the chilling breach in the _wall of ice_, and spilled out again onto the balcony, where it blasted the fire elemental, Helkitren, and Imperagon.

“To hell with this!” shouted Helkitren, his wiry beard still steaming. “Imperagon, the deal is broken!” And with a puff of sulfur, the salamander was gone!

“Well done, Shorty!” shouted Keldas. “One down is good enough for me-- retreat!”

Keldas heard a low dwarven growl from the next room. “We are not leaving without your staff.”

“I have almost no sp—“

“WE ARE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT YOUR STAFF.”

“You may not leave at all, mortal!” screeched a gelugon, as yet another _wall of ice_ sprang up—this time, inside the room and across the side door. Wulf, Karak, and the dragon were once again separated from the spellcasters. 

A second gelugon entered the room and hissed at Shorty. “I _suggest_ you drop all your magical protections…” Shorty’s will was weak, but among his various spells, only his _mage armor_ could be dismissed at will. 

On the other side of the wall of ice, the hallway was blasted with heat as the huge fire elemental flowed towards them. It moved past Wulf, still ignoring him, and put a fiery fist into the face of the dragon. 

“Enough of this bullsh--,” Wulf grumbled. He dashed down the hallway, past the archon and the elemental, and hurled  himself off the balcony. He flipped, rolled to his feet, and continued his headong charge right into the old woman. _Taranak_ flashed eagerly as he swung it overhead, right down the center of the old woman’s forehead. Her wide-eyed, startled look gave way to an evil sneer as Wulf’s blow struck empty air. 

“Displacement,” he said. “Oh, yer sneaky whore…”

Back in the hallway Karak had his hands full with the archon, who had finally decided to focus his attacks on the paladin. The dragon did his best, breathing lightning across the archon, elemental, and even the mephit, but for the most part their other-wordly foes were unimpressed. Keldas struck and struck again at the archon with his _holy sword_, missing repeatedly. With a burst of _hasted_ action, he finally struck true, and the sword bit deeply into the evil heart of the archon. 

The spellcasters were not having a good day. Imperagon walked into the room and breathed fire across them, the pit fiend cast a _fireball_, and the predator was snapping relentlessly at Diessa’s warhammer. Keldas managed to summon a dire bear to deal with the predator, while Shorty’s fingertips flashed with two _prismatic sprays_ in a row. Unfortunately, among the various rays that struck, their infernal enemies had little trouble with fire, electricity, and poison. The gelugon responded with a _cone of cold_ that struck them all—including the steel predator. The second gelugon did the same, striking even Imperagon. The gelugon’s gaffes were little consolation: when the frost and steam cleared, Diessa lay dead.

On the floor below, Wulf fought alone against the old woman. She skipped back several paces and cast a _charm monster_ on Wulf, and he was tempted once again to call for Haela’s luck. _Not today_, he thought. By his own will, the spell failed. 

The old woman saw the determination in Wulf’s eyes and thought better of the direct approach. She conjured a crackling blue _fire shield_ to protect her. Wulf charged up and pushed her roughly against the wall. If he was going to strike through her _displacement_, he needed time to bring all his weapons to bear. 

Another giant had entered the hall with Karak and the dragon. Sensing that the archon was a lost cause, the dragon unleashed its fury on the giant. His jaws struck a telling blow, followed by two claws and a rake with its wingtips. Feeling a rising confidence, his tail lashed out behind and struck the archon!

“I’ll deal with you in a moment, little gnat…” said the archon, pressing the attack on Karak. Dim explosions rattled the _wall of ice_ behind him and the paladin knew that things were not going well for Keldas and Shorty.

Imperagon cast a fireball on the pair of them, while the predator wrestled viciously with the dire bear. Keldas could tell that the bear would not long survive, and neither he nor Shorty could contend with a steel predator. “We’ve done our best,” he said. Grabbing Shorty and Diessa’s remains, Keldas cast _plane shift_, and they were gone. 

Fighting defensively, Karak drew on his divine powers to heal himself with one hand even as his other hand wielded holy vengeance. As the giant leaned in to attack him, Karak struck its head clean off its shoulders. So powerful was the blow that it carried straight through into the archon, powering past its defenses and biting deeply into its side once again. There was little time for Karak to enjoy the grim satisfaction, as the gelugons began teleporting into his hallway, looking for new prey. The pit fiend followed close behind, announcing its arrival with a _wall of fire_ that surrounded Karak and the dragon. 

“Change back,” Karak said. “We need to go!”

“But… the others?”

“They must already have left,” said Karak.

“Wulf?”

“I am sure he got out ok,” Karak lied. The paladin grabbed his boy, activated his _helm of teleportation_, and fled-- abandoning Wulf to his fate.

***

The old woman ran from Wulf once again, clearly knowing the odds were on her side as long as she kept the dwarf off his game. She tried _charm monster_ again, and failing once again, conjured up a hemispherical _wall of force_ to trap him once and for all. 

“Cool your heels a bit, dwarf,”

Wulf nodded. _Taranak_ and his mace were quickly and coolly stashed on his belt and Wulf reached over his back to draw something from his magic haversack. He brought his arms down and leveled a cocked and loaded crossbow at the old woman. A look of fear and recognition filled her eyes. 

“That’s right,” Wulf said. He crimped the toe of his boot against the inside of the _wall of force_ so he’d know instantly when it vanished. “I’m on to yer game. _Nobody_ resists a _maze_, rakshasa.” 

The pair of gelugons and the pit fiend arrived to surround Wulf, but he never took his eye or his aim off the old woman. Still, it was looking pretty bad. Wulf held the crossbow under one arm and grabbed a scroll of _plane shift_ off his belt. He unrolled the scroll and scanned its contents. 

Complete jibberish. “Dammit.”

The pit fiend stepped forward to demand his surrender. Wulf feigned deafness. “Eh? Can’t hear you through this wall!” 

“Lower your weapons and perhaps we can come to an… arrangement.” Fiery spittle dropped from its jaws and fell hissing to the floor.

“What?” Wulf asked. “You mean… this?” He held out the useless scroll and grinned.

_An ass to the last,_ Wulf thought. He gave himself a little thumbs up.

Wulf suddenly found himself standing back in his Forge.

“I’m saved! It’s a miracle!”

“You got that right,” said the Old Man.

Wulf had delayed just long enough. Once Keldas had _plane shifted_ back, it was a simple matter for Shorty to _teleport_ them back to the Forge, and thence to the Old Man.

The paladin was returned by the same manner.

“How did you get back?” he asked Wulf.

“Not YOU,” Wulf said. 

The paladin’s boy spoke up. “I really thought you were better than this…”

Karak felt a sudden coldness in his heart. _Tyr was not pleased._

The party fell to bickering for several minutes. 

“You left! I couldn’t see you!” the paladin protested. “I assumed you were dead or gone.”

“Let me just see if I got this straight,” Wulf said incredulously. “Yer walk around the corner over there, I should just assume yer dead?”

“Staying was pointless! What good would more death have served?”

“I was pretty much fully healed,” the boy reminded him.

“So, Tyr is, like, the God of Valor, right?” asked Keldas, feigning ignorance.

“We were surrounded! That’s not valor, that’s suicide!”

“Chickensh*t,” Shorty said.

“And thank YOU, by the way,” Wulf said, rounding on Keldas. “Thanks for comin’ with me. Yer want that staff or NOT? I tell yer what, we get that thing back, yer better stick it in a friggin’ VAULT.”

The Old Man stepped in to intercede. “I think you will need to visit your temple, Karak, to seek an _atonement_.”

“I don’t think I WANT to atone!” yelled Karak.

The rest of the group was stunned to silence, but Wulf smiled and pounced on the paladin’s moment of weakness. “Aye, I’m with yer! Screw the gods, right?”

The argument continued unabated until the Old Man had heard enough. “I must resurrect Diessa.”

“Well, we’re out of cash, yer leech.”

The Old Man smiled. “Diessa is a child of Moradin. This one is on me.”

“I told you getting rid of Alliane was a good idea,” Keldas deadpanned. “She just saved us eight grand.”

***

Karak eventually returned from his temple. 

“How’d it go?” asked Shorty. 

“There is room for atonement. I must complete my quest—without resorting to any of my divine abilities. I don’t know how they expect me to complete this quest as a…” Karak gulped. The very thought was making him ill. “As a  _fighter_.”

“Interesting,” Shorty said, kicking back and putting his feet up. “We were just thinking about dropping the whole thing.”

“Aye,” Wulf said. “So, ahh… good luck with all _that_.”

Karak looked ready to cry.

“Oh, cut it out,” Shorty said. “Unlike _some_ people we don’t let our friends down. We’re not done yet.” 

“Pfft… These paladins today,” Wulf said. “Back in my day yer’d be stripped o’ yer powers, no questions asked. So shut up and count yer blessin’s.”

“What’s the plan, then?”

“I figure we do the same thing, only this time without all the runnin’ away and abandonin’ yer friends.”

“Third time’s the charm,” said Shorty.

“Do we try the anti-magic scroll again?” the dragon asked.

“Next verse, same as the first!” Shorty sang.

“I’m outta cash,” Wulf said. 

“I have a little tucked away,” Keldas admitted. “We’ll try it again.”

**

They returned to Acheron and prepped up about 200 yards off the main gate. 

“The guards have changed,” said the dragon.

“What yer got?” Wulf asked.

“A black golem... and a kyton—or so I’d guess from all the chains.”

As they approached the gate, the kyton shouted, “Halt, in the name of the Lord of the Iron Fortress! I have been sent to parlay.”

“Start parlayin’ then.” Wulf crossed his arms.

“Imperagon seeks peace, and is prepared to offer you adamantine and baatorian steel to buy your favor.”

Wulf spit. “We’re not leavin’ without the head of Imperagon.”

Wulf paused. “Err... How much adamantine are we talkin’ here?”

But it was too late. His allies had already begun the attack. Karak and the dragon rushed past in a fury, and it was all Wulf could do to keep up with the dragon.

“Gotta protect him till we hit Imperagon!” Wulf said. “He’s my mobile fightin’ platform.”

Shorty, Keldas, and Diessa stood in the back and applauded politely at Karak’s efforts—their spells were of no use against their foes. Keldas stepped forward for a moment as if to join the fight.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Shorty asked. “Stay clear.”

Keldas waved him off. “It’s all right. I’m going to cast _rapid strikes_ on the false paladin.”

With that aid and some timely healing from Diessa, they were once more inside the fortress. They paused just long enough for Shorty to dispel the _forbiddance_ that permeated the area. “That might help a little...”

Once again they charged up the stairs, threw open the door, and began their third and final assault on Imperagon. They had all learned a thing or two in their last encounter. The dragon flew inside, shielded with anti-magic, and hovered in mid-air for the entire battle, simply doing his part to keep three summoned gelugons suppressed. 

Shorty made quick work of their enemies with _wall of force_, seperating them out as best he could, and to counter the forcefields thrown up by their enemies, he used _dimension door_ to keep the party on the offense. 

The old woman had changed forms for the occasion, this time appearing as a small boy; little did she know if there was one thing the paladin couldn’t resist, it was a chance to tangle with a small boy. Karak pressed the attack on her, striking blow after blow through her displacement, until at last she was forced to withdraw. She threw a wall of force around the paladin and the fallen archon, trapping the two nemeses inside together. 

Karak held for a moment while Wulf pounded on the outside of his force bubble. “What are yer waitin’ for?”

Karak chose retreat over redemption. With the _forbiddance_ wisely taken care of in advance, he was able to use his helm to _teleport_ just outside the bubble, into the healing touch of Diessa. The archon followed quickly with _dimension door_, but Keldas was ready and sent him off with a _maze_ spell.

“That won’t hold him long,” Keldas warned. 

Indeed, the archon was back in mere moments, having simply used _plane shift_ to escape the demi-plane.

Keldas wasn’t finished by half. He cast _power word stun_ on the pit fiend—adequately weakened by Shorty’s repeated blasts—and while Wulf and Karak set about dismantling the devil, Keldas summoned a dire bear to deal with the rakshasa. Thinking back on the number of times he’d been threatened by the grapple of the steel predators, he thought it only fair to give the rakshasa a taste of her own medicine.

Huge claws grabbed the rakshasa and pulled it in. The rakshasa struggled for several rounds, using Keldas’ staff to detonate _fireball_ after _fireball_ right into the dire bear’s jaws, with no regard for itself, friend, or foe that might be nearby. But with Diessa standing behind the bear with a wand of healing-- the bear was so big, in fact, its ass protruded a good 10 feet outside the blast of the fireball-- there was no escape. The rakshasa fell, at last.

Keldas scooped up his staff. “Let me show you how this is done!”

He summoned an angelic deva. 

The deva casually killed the pit fiend with a backhand stroke and headed for the archon. “You’ve been very naughty, brother...”

The archon didn’t stick around for his punishment.

One by one, they mopped up their enemies until at last, only Imperagon was left, broken and beaten.

Wulf grabbed him roughly. “Who’s yer daddy?”

“Ashardalon,” Imperagon said. “Can’t you tell?”

“Not really,” Keldas said. “We’d heard Ashardalon was kind of tough...”

“Tell me what yer been doin’ with the souls of dwarves,” Wulf asked.

“Working to complete an artifact for myself.”

“What?”

“The Blade of Fiery Might.”

“Already got one.” Wulf said, shoving him away.

“What else can you tell us about Ashardalon?” Keldas asked.

“For the love of god,” Wulf said. “We just got _done_ with one adventure, yer settin’ up the next one. Give it a friggin’ rest already.”

Imperagon ignored him. “He has been revitalizing himself!” The dwarf grinned and would have laughed, but wisely choked it off. Keldas’ face didn’t show the slightest tolerance for a sense of humor, let alone megalomaniacal dramatics.

“Revitalizing himself?” Keldas asked. His hands tightened on his staff.

“He found a... power source. In the Abyss. Something to restore his heart.”

“Yer know who destroyed that heart?” Wulf asked. He stood behind Keldas and pointed a silent, accusatory finger at him. _HE DID!_ he mouthed.

The deva stepped forward. “Allow me to take Imperagon into custody.”

“I’m more the whackin’ persuasion, myself,” Wulf admitted. 

“He is harmless now,” the deva said. “A proper welcome—and an impenetrable cell—has been prepared for him in the heavens.”

“All right, all right. I can agree to that.” Wulf said. “Just after I strip him naked and paint his ass blue.”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Lord of the Iron Fortress -- EPILOGUE*

EPILOGUE

While the rest of the group scoured the tower for magic items and more traditional loot, Wulf was whistling a jaunty tune and shovelling a king’s ransom in pure adamantine ore into his portable hole.

He paused at a smaller mound of green baatorian steel. 

“Demon-steel?” he thought. “Ferkit, I don’t care.” It joined the adamantine in the hole. Wulf rolled it up and stuffed the little velvet pouch in his belt. You wouldn’t know to look at him that he was carrying over 300,000 gold crowns’ worth of raw ore.

_Which I can double or triple by working at the Forge!_ Wulf nearly hopped with excitement. 

They returned home, but it was not long before the group split up. Wulf stayed on at the Forge, of course, and encouraged Dorn to expand his temple to Haela. He even allowed Keldas to build a wizard’s tower atop the mountain above. 

Shorty felt a calling back to Ossington and took possession of Dyson’s old tower. 

Karak went back to his temple, no doubt, to properly train his boy.

*TWO YEARS PASS*

Wulf got an unexpected visit from Karak. 

“Well...” Karak said. “If you wouldn’t mind, I was hoping you would make a holy sword for me.”

“Let me see,” Wulf said. “Last time we were together yer abandoned me, then yer don’t say a word for two years, and now yer suddenly show up and yer askin’ ME to make yer holy sword?”

“Yes.”

“Just checking,” Wulf said. “Thanks for the vote of trust.”

Karak smiled. “Great! I hear you do good work here...”

“Only the best,” Wulf said. Indeed one of his earliest moves was to enchant his hammer, tongs, even the Forge itself, to greatly enhance his smithing abilities.

In due time he sent Karak a parcel containing a magnificent blade of green-hued steel. 

**

Wulf chuckled to himself, but it didn't last long. The Old Man hounded him on a near daily basis. “You need to marry,” he said. “I will not allow you to be King unless you are willing to leave an heir...”

“Well...” Wulf began.

“A _legitimate_ heir.” The Old Man rolled his eyes.

“Wives and babies aren’t for me,” Wulf said. “I don’t need that kind o’ vulnerability.” 

*FOUR YEARS PASS*

Over the next couple of years Wulf, Dorn, and Keldas enjoyed some simple adventuring, enough to keep their skills fresh and to support the creation of a few new magic items. 

Wulf himself had been VERY busy over the past four years. He had a nice black market in baatorian steel weapons, which of course necessitated certain dealings with the local Thieves’ Guild—though Wulf was suitably removed from the transactions through several middlemen. Of course, when the upright citizens of the area discovered the illicit trade, Wulf was more than happy to volunteer to crush the local Guild.

And then take it over.

“Maybe not King,” Wulf admitted. “But I’ll take Guildmaster.”

Wulf had slowly but steadily been attracting “his kind” of people to his banner. In addition to many smiths, spies, thieves, and other experts in his employ, he spent a good deal of his time training a loyal group of dwarven tunnel-fighters. The group spurred Wulf’s creativity at the forge as well, and he developed a fine chain shirt specifically for their use: 

The simple secret to his “Dwarven Chain” was a single ring of adamantine joined by four rings of mithril. Strong, light, flexible, quiet, and comfortable. His own prototype shirt was enchanted with _silence_ and _shadow_.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to,” the Old Man told him one day. “You really ought to think about getting married. Diessa, you know...”

“Give it a rest, already. Yer got my money. Yer got a nice temple... Yer and Dorn both, plus all the rest...”

“Yes,” the Old Man said. “I can’t tell you how happy I was to see that you had commissioned... What was it? ‘An unspecified altar to a giant fist.’”

Wulf made the fist.

*TEN YEARS PASS*

Ten years of prosperity and peace—if one didn’t count the constant nagging of the Old Man. “You ready to marry yet?”

“No.”

“Okay... How about now?”

*FIFTEEN YEARS PASS*

In year fifteen, the Baron of Brindenford was assassinated.

Always one to see the silver lining, Wulf sought out the Old Man and found him in the temple with Diessa. 

“NOW I am ready to marry,” Wulf announced. “Seems the baron had some enemies.”

“Let me guess,” the Old Man said. “The Baron’s daughter is ascending to leadership.”

“Aye. Good time for an alliance, right?”

“Out of the question. The baron’s daughter already has a suitor.”

“Son of a...” Wulf growled.

“What do you have against a good dwarf woman?” the Old Man asked.

Wulf looked at Diessa. “Well... There’s always room for concubines... What? What did I say?”

*SEVENTEEN YEARS PASS*

At last, the Old Man passed away.

Wulf got a little carried away in the ensuing celebrations, and in due time Diessa came to him with her own “happy news.”

“Yer ferkin’ kiddin’ me.”

They were married quickly, and in the natural way of such things, it wasn’t long before Wulf was ready to go adventuring again. 

“I’ll go with you,” Diessa said. 

For Wulf, it was a fate worse than death. Marriage was one thing, but at least with Diessa it wasn’t so bad: you didn’t really worry at night when your wife could cast _holy word_. 

But a child? That had “plot device of the gods” written all over it. 

He was trapped. 

Screwed. 

“Great!” Wulf said. “I was thinking maybe some deep dungeon with lots of dangerous, crumbling stone stairs.”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*THUS ENDS WULF'S STORY*


----------



## Tempest

Hey Wulf, 


I just wanted to take a minute to offer up a quick thank you for all of your hard work and effort in keeping 'those of us who lurk' entertained.  I've been reading the Big Three (PC, Sagiro, and your Story Hour) since the inception of the Story Hour back on the old boards.  

I figure it's about time I said thank you!  Your writing is inspirational, witty, and down-right FUN!  Keep it coming! 


Tempest


----------



## shilsen

*Holy crap!*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Unfortunately, their enemies were also ready for action. The beholder floated down from the shattered staircase, revealing itself at last. Once again, its three most dangerous rays lanced out. With Haela's Blessing he was able to resist the finger of death, and the flesh to stone, but suddenly all luck was extinguished: the disintegrate completely overpowered him. Motes of dust billowed out as his cloak suddenly collapsed to the ground. The faint tinkling of bells seemed to emanate from under the folded cloth as two rings hit the hard stone floor. That was it. All that had survived was his cloak, and two rings. *




Dinkeldog killed *WULF!!!*


----------



## Thorntangle

*Re: Holy crap!*



			
				shilsen said:
			
		

> *Dinkeldog killed WULF!!!    *




That last paragraph was vague.  Since I got burnt by a previous update and the whole Shadow Evocation thing, I'll go out on a limb and say it was Keldas or Dorn.

If I'm wrong... sorry, Wulf.  It was a good run.  Give the Peck a good kick in the arse and toss a few back with Halma.


----------



## Samnell

*Re: Re: Holy crap!*



> Unfortunately, their enemies were also ready for action. The beholder floated down from the shattered staircase, revealing itself at last. Once again, its three most dangerous rays lanced out. With Haela's Blessing he was able to resist the finger of death, and the flesh to stone, but suddenly all luck was extinguished: the disintegrate completely overpowered him. Motes of dust billowed out as his cloak suddenly collapsed to the ground. The faint tinkling of bells seemed to emanate from under the folded cloth as two rings hit the hard stone floor. That was it. All that had survived was his cloak, and two rings.




I'm with Thorntangle. The paragraph refers to a "he" who was able to resist the finger of death but took the disintegrate. I'm guessing Wulf meant to put a name in there but slipped. I know I do it all the time. It could be anyone with magical rings and a cloak.

Wulf ruled out the assmar dying early on, but that still leaves us with Dorn or Keldas as possible roadkill. Wulf did say multiple deaths...but how long ago was that? I think Shorty was one of those counted. Nothing he posted seemed to indicate that our favorite dwarf bought the mine.

Of course he could have been fooling us.


----------



## TheMentat

*check out the rogues gallery*

Wulf does in fact have a magical cloak and two magical rings that would have fallen down, namely the Cloak of the Shadows, a ring of misdirection, and a ring of climbing.
However, he also has many other magic items that might have made it... ie tanarak, i dont know the rules for disintegrate, but what happens to items?

Keldas ALSO has a magical cloak and two rings, so Wulf might just be pulling our chain (sorry Keldas, but I am rooting for you to be dead, I've built up an emotional attachment to Wulf) 

It couldnt have been Dorn, he neither went into the church, nor did he have two rings

for Wulf's rogue gallery entry here you go:
http://www.enworld.org/messageboards/showthread.php?s=&threadid=119


----------



## Gumby

*Re: Holy crap!*



			
				shilsen said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Dinkeldog killed WULF!!!    *



Eh, he was due.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Holy firking snit!  Either a) Wulf is dead, in which case I have to kick Dinkledog in the junk or b) Wulf is yanking our collective chains, in which case *he's* got a big kick comin' his way.

You're a bad, bad man, Wulf.  Don't stop whatever you do.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*DEEP HORIZON-- Part III INTERLUDE*

*Our good friend Keldas has written a brief interlude to answer your questions:*

As Keldas darted around the corner he felt his connection to the weave return. Flush with magical energy, his confidence returned and he carefully considered his options. He prepared to unleash his most powerful offensive spell, disintegrate, on the off chance that the cowardly Beholder foolishly revealed himself. The Beholder had already miscalculated allowing Keldas to easily avoid the effects of its central eye. He didn't expect the Beholder to compound the error by exposing itself to Keldas' direct assault. Nevertheless, either the eye tyrant or its allies would soon find out just how dear of a mistake it was to allow Keldas unfettered access to his powers. Surprisingly, the Beholder floated into view, striking with his three most powerful rays before Keldas could react. Keldas recognized the triple assault as rays of finger of death, flesh to stone, and disintegrate. He easily shrugged off the effects of the finger of death but felt Haela's protection evaporate as he was struck with the second ray, when the last ray struck he suddenly found himself back in the forests of Arvandor. 

"How could I have succumbed so easily to a mere Beholder?" Keldas pondered this failure while walking through the lush forests. The more he thought about it the more Keldas grew to believe that maybe his time on Faerun had come to an end. After all, he now had the opportunity to continue his study of history with the perspective gained from the last year of adventuring with his companions. He could only begin to imagine the impact this new perspective might have on his old studies. Plus, he would no longer be distracted by constant adventuring, running around on this or that errand with his adventuring companions. He felt confident they would survive the ensuing battle. Between Wulf, Dorn and the Assmar there was more than enough punch to put an end to a handful of Desmodu and a single Beholder. If worse came to worst, Karak could always teleport the party back to the sanctuary of the forge. Aliane should be safe in their hands. 

Keldas would certainly miss his companions, but he now had the opportunity to spend endless hours in study of the Art and, more importantly, meet in person many of the elven heroes he had spent the first hundred years of his life reading about. The chance to discuss historical events with the actual participants themselves was too much to pass up. He would stay in Arvandor for good this time. When the old dwarf from the forge came calling this time, he would send his regrets to his companions and wish them luck in their mission. He decided to start with his own ancestors and headed off in search of his grandfather, Keldaran. Keldas wanted to discuss the defense and subsequent fall of Athlantia under the onslaught of the hordes of K’thuckik 500 years ago. Keldas had read everything there was to read on the subject by the time he was 50. It was the accounts of that battle that had sparked his intense interest in history as a child. It also had a pervasive effect on the rest of his life as his family's name had been forever besmirched as a result of the defeat. It was Keldaran himself, an archmage of great power, who had led the defense of Athlantia against the lich K'thuckik's undead army and their dark elven allies. In the process Keldaran lost his life and the two most valued treasures of the people of Athlantia: the staff and robes of Athlantia, the symbols of office for their elected leader, and the two most powerful items available to aid in the defense of the city.  It was that event that had originally sparked Keldas to take up the path of the adventurer.  Over the ensuing 500 years no one had been able to locate the lost artifacts.  By doing so, Keldas could redeem the family name.  To accomplish this goal he figured he would need to develop his skills considerably, but in the process of doing so, he could gain first hand knowledge of the world he had studied so long; he could literally take his studies out of the library and into the real world.  It seemed so long ago, yet it was only a fraction of his lifetime.  He had steadily developed his skills over the past year, approaching the pinnacle of elven wizardry, but he had never picked up even a hint of the location of the staff.  At some point he had stopped really searching altogether, focusing solely on developing his skills for their own sake instead of in furtherance of his quest.  It seemed foolish now, wasting a year gallavanting around, taking on any fool’s errand that presented itself.  He had even put Aliane in the position of making the trip to Arvandor and back.  Never again.

After a long while Keldas arrived at his destination, the final home of Keldaran.  He looked forward to the many years he would spend discussing Keldaran’s rule and subsequent defense of Athlantia.  The welcome he received was quite unexpected.  Keldaran was less than excited to see an inquisitive Keldas lounging on his doorstep in anticipation of years of questioning.  

“What have you become?  You actually thought you could go toe to toe with a Beholder with NO protective magics?  You’ve put Aliane in a desperate situation-- dependent on a couple of dwarves and a half human for protection.  Worse yet you’ve destroyed the best chance our family has had in a generation of recovering the staff of Athlantia!  You were close to recovering it and you didn’t even know it because you have become so intoxicated with your own power that you forgot your purpose. You’ve had the means at your disposal to gain clues to the staff’s location via a legend lore spell and you haven’t even used it!  Well I’ll tell you what you would have learned if you had any sense, 'Seek the staff where evil, burned away, still remains.'  I’ve been pondering that verse for 300 years, but until you stumbled onto the ruins of Chael Rendaar, could not decipher its true meaning.  It should have been obvious, given the involvement of the drow in K'thuckik's plans.  When your companions call you back, answer them, and fulfil your duty.  And never again storm forth unprepared.  You risk much more than your own life when you expose yourself to harm. You risk the legacy of our family as well as the life of your cousin. When you have recovered the staff maybe you will make history, instead of merely passing into it.”

Keldas was stunned.  Every word was true.  He had spent an entire step of his wizardly studies researching the techniques of the legend lore spell but had done so to enable the creation of a device to enhance his casting abilities-- instead of to further his quest for the staff.  He had put himself and his pride above his quest numerous times, exposing himself to great harm in search of personal glory.  No more.  He would refocus on his quest.  It was easy and even exhilarating thinking that he was so close.  The staff must be tied up in the events surrounding the Desmodu somehow.  He sat long in quiet contemplation, waiting for the familiar voice of the Old Man to call him back...


----------



## Samnell

*Re: DEEP HORIZON-- Part III INTERLUDE*

You know, until that interlude I sort of took Kheldas for granted. Very nice.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Just in case I wasn't clear, Keldas' player wrote his interlude, not me.

He still reads here though he posts infrequently, but I am sure he appreciates the comments.


Wulf


----------



## Korak1010

Ok, guys after much internal debate on weather I should reply or not. I got this to say. I dont debate some of my actions in the past have been less than forthcoming both as a player and a character. However, the one thing I am not is a cheat, I take grave exception to that allegation. If that has come across i am truly sorry. Unfortunatly decorum prohibits me from defending myself in the way that I normally would. And yes we all know wulf/the player playing wulf just does not like the paladin or the person playing the paladin. Oh well life will just have to go on. Furthermore no matter what I play it will be suspect. Again Life goes on.


----------



## Thorntangle

Bravo, Aasimar!  Finally, the last of the troop shows up in the storyhour.

I wouldn't feel too badly about any comments made here.  Remember, any publicity is good publicity.  In your own unique way, you have become one of the most well known story hour personalities and Wulf's story would not have been the same without you.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Korak1010 said:
			
		

> *And yes we all know wulf/the player playing wulf just does not like the paladin or the person playing the paladin.*




I seem to be able to manage one or the other at different times, but it has been a while since I've liked both at the same time. At any rate you shouldn't confuse the person with the character (and I will try to do the same).

It's obviously not true that 'no matter what you play it will be suspect.' I think I've done right by Karak in the story hour, I've never made him out to be anything other than brave and helpful, and that's how you play him in the game. I say again, back in Nightfang Spire, we got along pretty good.

But after you got some money in your hands (and the ability to teleport off on a whim to Bob's Bargain Bin of 20th Level Paladin Scrolls), you completely twinked out your character. It's extremely annoying. 

It's not so much annoying to me in and of itself, but it _clearly_ frustrates the DM, and when the DM is not having any fun, WE ALL SUFFER.

Wulf


----------



## Korak1010

Where as in retospect I agree with that comment, in reagrds to the particular spells chosen, The DM, not that the DM is to blame, has the right to say no at any point. Futher more Sacred Journey yes is broken, but not even I had expected what happened last session with the one spell, I honestly figured two or three people at the most. As far as me buying spells from the church of Tyr, I understand where you are coming from, but I dont see the difference between me buying certain spells and say Kheldas scribing his own as a backup or getting a few spells on a scroll that he does not have in his spell book or Dorn or Alliane if they chose to do that.


----------



## Marauder

*Apologies*

Apologies to Korak - I extrapolated the discussion to a false conclusion.

As I said, I think your Paladin was a great character, from my perception as given on this board. He did some pretty heroic stuff, and unlike the peck, seemed to always be right in the thick of it all the time.

I hope you guys do adjust your stats to 28-point buy or something similar. You can still give the DM a run for his money in the challenge dept even with the average treasure as defined in the DMG - mine do (the bastards). They're not overly twinky, but their characters are made with combat in mind, and they ecel (plus they've had lots of practice now). Also, I just stick to the core WotC supplements. It can be pretty frustrating when your group of players blaze through difficult battles with hardly a scratch (although there hasn't seemed to have been much evidence of that in the latest installments).

At the end of the day, it takes all types and we, the readers, have had much enjoyment reading the results of your party's interactions and exploits (is it ever going to get a name?).

I for one would like to read how you guys fare at the end of the series, and watch the final credits roll...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Kheldas isn't running off to "the head of his order" and buying 20th level scrolls, now is he? If he were to suddenly show up with scrolls of Wish and Meteor Swarm and Time Stop it would be pretty obvious what the problem was.

Furthermore scribing scrolls is something his character is SUPPOSED to do, and it doesn't allow him to do anything that he can't NORMALLY do.

On the other hand:

(a) You don't have Scribe Scroll and 

(b) Even if you did, you couldn't cast and/or scribe 20th level spells.

There's the difference. I don't know how it could be clearer.

In my mind there are only two appropriate ways to get magic items in a game: Either make them yourself, or you find them. 

You should NEVER NEVER NEVER have the option of running out and *buying* stuff that is more powerful than the party can create, or more powerful than anything the Adventure Path would be handing out as part of the treasure.

And yes, the DM has the right to say no before he approves anything, but he also has the right to say YES and let you try it for a little while, then change his mind. He should be able retroactively change anything that isn't working out and not have to put up with a lot of pissing and moaning about it.

Wulf


----------



## Korak1010

I agree 110% the DM should be able to whatever he wants with out a lot of pissing and moaning. I just did not think removing the book entirely was the best answer. Also they are not 20th lvl spells they are 4th scribed at 20th lvl. Paladin spell caster levels are halved as you know.  Furthermore nedless to say I wont be doing that anymore. Realize that it does not mean a whole lot now. Just bear in mind that I have one scroll left to use and its not from Sword and Sorcery. Its from FR I think. My problem is not wheather anything Karak did was right, wrong or whatever is not the point. He( the player/character) always had the best of intentions this time around. Its apparent that the methods were not the best used, but again It was not done with malice to destroy  game play at all. Furhter more It Karak duty to at least report in to the head of his order every now and again, when the chance presents itself. What I am getting at here is If I had appeared with a bunch of Cure Moderate Wounds spells for example, we would not be having this discussion.


----------



## Immort

All I gots ta say is that wuz just cold.  Okay seein' as how there is words followin' them first words I guess _technically_ I got more ta say.  I too am curious ta see whut the current pc play roster is lookin' like.  I wuz guessin' that maybe Halma is either away from the table or playin' the bat dude.

Anyhows, sorry ter see ya go Karak.  I'm obviously a fan of well built characters and have a soft spot fer paladins ta boot.  In fact I got one playin' a leadin' role in my own poor story hour.  Course only my dice jockeys read it, but they seemed ter like it well enough.

Keep yer blades up and yer heads down,

-Immort


----------



## Rowan Thornglen

*Other side of the mirror*

Korak:

Good to hear from one of the other players, you in particular.  I'm intrigued that the Paladin fights on, and look forward to discovering how this is.

I never found the "Peck" especially endearing, but from all accounts in reading this storyhour, you've done a bangup job role playing a standup, decent Paladin.  No doubt that alone would enough to create character conflict with some of the more chaotic and unsavory types!  I am referring to in game characters here of course.  No implication or offence meant against all the real world people involved.

I find the back and forth between what appears to be two very different players very interesting, and it was good to see it remained a civil debate, versus ad hominem brawling.  It is unfortunate that for whatever reason or reasons you and Wulf have trouble seeing eye to eye.  In the long run, I hope both of you are able to enjoy the gaming sessions.  There's not much point in playing if there's no fun to be had.  That's what work is for, and at least there you get paid for the unpleasantness.

Rowan Thornglen
(hoping for coherence despite a one week old at home)


----------



## maddman75

Hey Korak, don't get the wrong idea.

I for one love the characters you've played.  Makes Wulf's story hour part of what it is.

It wouldn't have been the same without Wulf butting heads with first the scheming peck, then the rigid assmar - though not as much, certainly.

Keep on posting - We like to hear from the other players, even if it does occasionally twist Wulf's beard in a knot


----------



## Korak1010

Look guys lets let this rest shall we? The intent from the start was to build an effective character, maybe somewhere along the way it got perverted into something else somehow. To a certain extent the Character was min/maxed. I wont go as far to say that I know the rules so well, that everything was intentional, but there were a few things that stuck out with me from the get go. Yes have magic items or aquire magic items that help said character out; in this case it was a cloak of Charisma +4 which is what he started with and a peript of wisdom +4. It was only later that the cloak +4 was upgraded to a +6. in the case of the Halfling every time he leveled to where he would add another point to his attributes, it went to dex. He also had a ring of Dex as well(+2 if memory serves). The Intent there was to upgrade the ring as well. Combine that with weapons finesse dagger and you have what the halfing was. Alignment not wth-standing of course. Furthermore to say that the buck stops with the DM is not really a fair thing to say. Sure, the DM has final authority over what is done etc... but Wulfs is right,  Dinkledog's sked is so busy that he does not have the time to watch over us all. Based with everything that has transpired from day one, in retrospect I would have to agree with Wulf that the player(s) bear some responsibilty in making thier character balanced. What Wulf and a lot of people forget is this series of modules were designed to help us learn the rules and find out what works and what does not.  Wulf I know what you are going to say "We have had enough time" or something to that effect. Remember not all of us are as adept as Wulf is with rule interpetations or applications for that matter. In reading ALL of the previous posts, were there some judgement errors on my part? Sure. I also understand that if Wulf and I were in another game together, that no matter what I did or how I play it, that itwould be suspect in his eyes. Thats just something we are all going to have to accept and deal with.
Also doc one must remember that Wulf(the character and hell maybe the person too.) has a unique outlook on things. Tomolock was not the 1st halfing that was called a peck by Wulf nor will it be the last. Shorty and loyal get their share of it too. Also for a correlation to be drawn between a halfling being called a peck is the same as calling him a "nigger" is just a bit to harsh in my eye. So I guess what I saying is Lets quit going at it like a bunch of 14yr old girls on the cheerleading team and not beat a dead Aasimar to death any further. Whats done is done, and its over with, lets just get back to playing the game and enjoying the story hour. I am sure that something else in the rules will come up as supsect sooner later, if not by me then by some one else. You guys can have the soapbox back now.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *BTW, I just finished reading your entire storyhour today (started yesterday). Is this the entire history of your character? It appears at least (I could be wrong) that you were calling the Halfing a "peck" from day one which I would guess from tone and context was about the same as calling him a "******". This certainly seems to suggest that you had it in for him from day one.  *




First off, I am glad you enjoyed it enough to read all the way through. It is, as you suspect, the full history of the character.

I wouldn't say "peck" rises to the level of slur you imply, but it's certainly a racially-biased insult. 

Sure, Wulf had it in for the peck from day one. He didn't particularly like Keldas either, or any other elves. He doesn't like paladins. He doesn't like priests. He doesn't care much for wizards. He _really_ doesn't like bards.

Pretty much, he likes DWARVEN WARRIORS-- and to hell with everybody else. I think I've been consistent in displaying that attitude. It's what being a dwarf is all about.

Everybody starts out on his bad side, and it takes some time to earn his grudging respect. Halma earned that respect quickly. He was strong, he was brave, he kicked ass. Instant rapport! Keldas took a little longer, but he made it. Same with Dorn-- he's a bit of a mixed bag, but since he spends more time killin' than he does prayin', they get along all right.

Now the peck... Well, the peck started off bad, went to worse, turned things around and started to earn Wulf's respect, and then threw it all in the crapper by running around behind his back making deals with the arch-villains.

The paladin (whether he believes it or not) has Wulf's respect, and it is obvious from the way that the narrative describes the paladin's actions. Yes, Wulf still likes to get in the occasional dig-- he is a paladin, after all-- but the record speaks for itself.

But it should be understood that all of this is completely seperate from any "rules discussions."


Wulf


----------



## Warrior Poet

Compliments on the story hour:  you have developed a characterization of a dwarf that is singular, astonishing, and unforgettable.

More to the point, you also exhibit a tremendous talent for writing this kind of story.  You have a gift for description, nuance, flavor, dialogue, pacing, and humor that infuse the text as a whole, and make it enjoyable to read.  Compliments on your writing ability.

Thanks for your time and effort, and thanks to your fellow players and DM for their time and efforts as well.  As with any good story, it is only as successful as its parts, and these all combine to make a complex tale, full of good, evil, triumph, tragedy, laughter, sobriety, and a host of other elements that make the adventure gripping.

It's just a ripping good yarn.

Warrior Poet


----------



## Lazybones

I haven't posted in a long while, but I just wanted to add my agreement with those posters who noted that the asimar/halfling have served well as the foils to Wulf in this ongoing story.  I've read a lot of storyhours on this site and I think that the most memorable have either:

a) complex plots and recurring, memorable villains

or 

b) intra-party conflict

Not that Wulf's story is weak on plot, but it focuses more on straight-up hack and slash rather than drawn-out plotting.  Plus the campaign follows the ADventure Path modules, so the plot is, essentially, already set for us.  But on b) Wulf's story is unmatched, with a dynamic that keeps drawing us readers back for more. 

Plus, I'd be remiss if I neglected another element, which I'll call:

c) humor, narrative, and heart-stopping action!


Kudos from yet another fan,

LB


----------



## Dinkeldog

I'm glad you like it, Lazybones.  It is a little hard, sometimes, getting all of the modules to work in order with the hooks provided.  The two best ones for making a continuous story are easily Deep Horizon and Lord of the Iron Fortress, so far.  Heart of Nightfang Spire wasn't too difficult, either, as a fortress radiating evil like that can be really easy--just put it close enough to the characters' homes that they have to deal with it, and make the characters the biggest dogs around, so noone else has a chance.  I take care of the second problem by making the bigger dogs (the Old Man, the Very Old Man, the silver dragon in Speaker) all incapable of doing it because of age and infirmity or simple insanity.

Having said that, I'm really happy with how I was able to put a) in with the transition between Deep Horizon and Lord of the Iron Fortress.  Now, with luck I'll be able to find Bastion of Lost Souls soon.  

I also do agree that Wulf's writing is fantastic.  The kernel for all of the player interactions is there, and Wulf highlights all of the nuances between the character's attitudes toward each other.


----------



## Keldas

*Re: DEEP HORIZON Part IV (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Confident and invisible, Wulf waltzed through the combat and stepped up with the bone devil. “Yer want something done right, yer gotta do it yerself…” _Taranak_ and his bone dagger sliced through the devil’s hide like butter. The devil screamed and backed up, summoning several lesser devils to help out. The devils couldn’t see Wulf, of course, so they surged forward and ripped the last desmodu guard to shreds.





Just one factual note to correct.  Wulf refers to this as a bone devil (osyluth) even though it was actually an insectoid Gelugon (a slight difference!).  I know during the battle Wulf (the player)made the same mistake and that might explain why he was so willing to go toe to toe with it.  I'm not sure why it went down so easily.  Dinkledog may have taken it easy on us for once.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: DEEP HORIZON Part IV (cont.)*



			
				Keldas said:
			
		

> *Just one factual note to correct.  Wulf refers to this as a bone devil (osyluth) even though it was actually an insectoid Gelugon (a slight difference!).  I know during the battle Wulf (the player)made the same mistake and that might explain why he was so willing to go toe to toe with it.*




Nah, it's cause I am _hard as nails_!


Wulf


----------



## Dherys Thal

*Taking 20 on the Innuendo skill check*

I'm a Long-time lurker, first-time poster.  I love Wulf's story hour, and I enjoy Lazybone's Travels just as much (particularly books 1 and 2, which I thought were masterful).  That said, I have to disagree with the complaint and defer to the artist - as I about pissed myself laughing over Wulf's unbelievably blatant innuendo.  Cheers from here.  Nothing succeeds like excess sometimes.

(Personal all-time greatest Wulf moment - the bow-before-the-crowd post-fight sequence in Speaker)

In the game which I DM I run a similarly inclined bard that owns a low-brow tavern named the Slum Gullion (a reference to some fetid dead-fly-infested swill drunk by some letter-carrying plainsmen in Mark Twain's Travels West) that is frequented by the coarsest miners in the area.  Some of our best in-game moments have been with that bard mocking the local establishment, often in off-color ways infering things about their snobbish aristocratic ways and...uh...their leisure time activities....and sometimes the boy has to hide for his life as a result until things cool down.

In Wulf's defense - the truly innocent would perceive nothing - and for those who pick up on the innuendo - hey, the man's like Charles Barkley - he aint no role model, he's Captain Caveman (not quite sure where that came from - memory diarrhea).  If he offends, he offends and eats the consequences, lumps and all.  Consequently, I'll end with a parody of Sir Charles himself (who used the term racist instead of sexist) - "I'm a sexist, I've always been a sexist.  It's about time you started giving my brothers some jobs".  

Nooch


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Taking 20 on the Innuendo skill check*



			
				Dherys Thal said:
			
		

> *I about pissed myself laughing over Wulf's unbelievably blatant innuendo. *




And here I thought it was as deft and subtle as Wulf himself.

I don't intend to offend anyone; likewise I haven't taken it personally that Lazybones (and, probably, others) didn't care for it. At least now I know where the boundaries are.

Not a good week for Wulf. Last week he was a racist, this week he's a misogynist... If I'm not more careful people might start to get the impression that he's an unpleasant fellow.


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Hey, one of the things I enjoy about my Story Hour is the flurry of commentary it generates. Sometimes it's rules related... sometimes only peripherally.

And a week or two from now, all the hullaballoo will be deleted.

I don't think anyone has to worry about me being censored. I'm pretty censor-proof and political correctness isn't really my style. Dinkeldog may get a laugh out of this since he has to deal with me in real life, but I prefer politeness and common courtesy to political correctness.

No, really.


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Rune said:
			
		

> *I find Wulf's (that is, the narrator--not the character, or the author) double-entendre to be unquestionably misogynistic to some degree and completely in character.  I am not offended, despite the fact that I am a feminist, because the matter introduces some interesting moral implications of following a protagonist who is, most certainly, not a perfect character, even if he is predominantly good (we think).*




When "Nice hole!" is anything but a compliment, sir, I say political correctness has gone too far! 

Ahh... Right. If you go back through the story hour from day one, you will find that Wulf is FULL of episodes like this... and I never cease to be amazed what you folks will let Wulf get away with and still call him a 'hero.' Certainly a product of our times; I doubt you will find many such protagonists in classical mythology or literature. Sure, there are flawed heroes, but few with the scope of Wulf's unpleasantness.

Predominantly good? 

Only if you judge a man on his actions, rather than his intent.

Wulf's _intent_ is to kill people and take their things, to further his own power. It's simply a matter of pragmatism that he allies with the good and preys on the evil. The reasons for this are self-evident. The proof has been in the telling, and it's been consistent through the story.

Don't worry. It's rare that I step back and look at this as some serious philosophical experiment. I'm not going to pretend I have any grand morality play going here, I'm just enjoying telling a good hack and slash story. It's a pleasant surprise when it sparks something like this.


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Definitely Dorn*



			
				dpdx said:
			
		

> *[RANT/ God, I wish my party was as capable of plot-sustaining dialogue as Dink's/Wulf's.  /RANT] *




Plot-sustaining dialogue? I know what you're getting at, but this isn't exactly a stellar example of it.

I mean, yeah, that was "actual" dialogue from the table, but in execution it didn't sound like roleplaying, it sounded like a guy named Jeff yelling, "I'll draw you a F'in map, you can take your chances!"

What's my point? Hmmm... I guess it's just that RP is where you find it. And I think a lot of folks read these story hours and forget just how much embellishment goes into the telling: You folks see the action through a fantasy lens we hold up to the table. We're not sitting around the table in costume, immersed in our roles. I can't speak for _every_ story hour here, but I would be very surprised if the stories you read here reflected the table verbatim. (There has been a thread to this effect, polling the authors, that surfaces from time to time...)

Wulf


----------



## Dinkeldog

No one in the group objects to how their characters are portrayed.  Also, the really good quotes are generally lifted from the table.  While it's not theater at its finest (that's saved for Wednesday night), the players are all conscious of their characters, their motivations, their likes and dislikes, etc.  

All I really have to do is nudge one of the NPCs from time to time.  Alliana is my conscience for the party.  She gets most of the nudging.

We're comfortable with it.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Ancalagon said:
			
		

> *Hello
> 
> You mean no more relics and ritual spells at all?
> 
> Perhaps for the best...  if the DM doesn't feel confident with them, he shouldn't allow them.
> 
> Too bad though.  The scared land material is very good, seting wise.  Too bad a lot of it is broken-ish, rule wise.*




I believe _Tanil's Touch_ was spared the chopping block, simply on account of the fact that the extra saving-throw re-roll helps the players survive and lends continuity to the campaign.

But pretty much, yeah. It's gone-- a decision I have mirrored in my own game.

Setting-wise I could care less. There's already an ugly mish-mash of settings in this campaign anyway. I prefer the core Greyhawk setting; we converted to FR sometime after the Standing Stone, I think, but for the life of me I don't know why. The only change I can spot is that the paladin worships Tyr and Keldas' racial bonuses changed...

Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Though Karak and the DM would disagree, I call this Best Use of Commune Evar. *




I have to agree! I laughed out loud when I read that last commune question!

... also earlier on in that piece I read about Wulf shedding a tear and thought "Oh no, he's going soft!" Happily the next paragraph dispelled that notion quite thoroughly 

Can you really imagine swapping taranak for black adamantine blades though? Taranak your trusty friend since the very earliest days?

Cheers


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

drnuncheon said:
			
		

> **blink*
> 
> Wulf, what happened to the rest of Queen of Lies? Did Dink skip it, or did you?*




No, no, you didn't miss it.

After the big battle, dinkeldog folded up his module and said, "Well, that was Queen of Lies."

And we all said, "Huh?"

"I just threw every bad guy from the book at you at once and you wiped them out. They were supposed to just hit you once and get away. That was supposed to be the _hook_."

And then he opened up Lord of the Iron Fortress and we moved on.

Tee heeeeee.

Drow are my _bitches_.


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I was just thinking about Demon God's Fane myself the other day.

This self-bump serves another purpose:

I _think_ that the days of pruning comments may be over. Can't tell you how it warms my heart to know that all of the great comments will be preserved for posterity.

Well, that plus all the petty bitchin' and whinin'. That's just gravy!

EDIT: Which reminds me, quite a few really good comments from the old boards, from the final days of Standing Stone, are preserved on my site:

http://www.batreps.com/images/3e/wulf.htm


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part I (cont.)*

Wulf turned to face the Moradin-thing for his last question. He shrugged. As long as he had access to Moradin and a hall full of onlookers, he might as well get his opinion on one last nagging question.

“Is Karak a big nancy-boy or what?”

There was a long pause. No, surely not a long pause as gods must measure time, but long enough for Wulf to notice it. 

_He’d stumped Moradin._

Well, maybe not stumped, exactly, but he certainly got his attention. Wulf certainly wasn’t the type to sit around debating theological points, but somewhere in midst of that interminable pause it occurred to him that stumping or even merely _ surprising_ the gods sort of put a kink in their whole “omniscience” schtick.

*”HE’S TYR’S PROBLEM. ASK TYR.”*

Another pause, and then:

*”SEEK YOUR PATH IN RIGUS, IN THE OUTLANDS.”*

**

Ahh, plane-hopping. The party scrambled to dig up some details on their impending journey. Shorty did most of the leg- and brain-work; he was enjoying it more than Wulf was comfortable with.

The Outlands, they discovered, were a huge, flat, featureless, grey, and absolutely neutral plane. On the edges of the Outlands, where they bordered the outer planes, the area started to pick up characteristics of the nearby outer planes.

Rigus was a small city on the border with Acheron. 

“So all we have to do,” explained Shorty, “is _plane shift_ into the Outlands and head to Rigus.”

“Aren’t the Outlands essentially infinite, though? There’s no telling where we will end up.”

“Well, once we get to the Outlands, we can _teleport_ to Rigus-- or damn near, anyway.” Shorty shrugged. “If we get it wrong we just _teleport_ again.”

“Nothin’ to worry about in the Outlands?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. Closer to Rigus, closer to Acheron, might be bad. We’d want to stay sharp there.”

“What’s Acheron like?”

“All my references describe it simply as ‘oppressive structure.’”

“I’m not good with structure,” Wulf growled.

**

Rigus, so near to Acheron, was itself a place of oppressive structure. The town was surrounded by a huge iron wall, and inside Wulf could see rows upon rows of featureless buildings, each perfectly square. 

The gate was guarded by four humans and a near-human that Wulf guessed to be an aasimar. He dug an elbow into Karak’s side. “Assmar. Just like yer… ooh, sorry.”

The aasimar wasted no time showering the group with his disdain and laying down the ground rules, the first of which was that ignorance of the law was no defense. Second, “troublemakers” would be dealt with harshly. At this point Wulf only compounded his problem by tuning out the rest of the aasimar’s speech entirely.

_Pointless drivel,_ he thought. _If they’re gonna get me, they’re gonna get me. No sense walkin’ around on eggshells in the meantime._

Eventually the group was waved through, and they arrived at their inn, _The Twin Stars_, at precisely 4:00 in the afternoon. Shorty seemed oddly comfortable, arranging their rooms without hesitation. 

“Rooms are 10 gold pieces a night…” said the innkeep.

“TEN GOLD!?” Wulf bellowed. His eyes bulged in genuine shock. “Yer get a hand job with that?”

Wulf reeled away to the common room to spend his coin on something that was actually worth the price: the local fare. He’d left most of his money behind at the forge, keeping only a small travelling sum of about 500 gold with him. Clearly, it wasn’t going to go far. What with the assmar at the gate and the crazy rip-off pricing he was starting to hate the outer planes.

Of course, he’d suspected he might.


----------



## Old One

*Long time, No Stop In...*

Wulf, 

Your Wulf absolutely kills me!  No wonder you drive DD to distraction...tuning out the guards stern warnings indeed!

Just wanted to drop by and say high...er, 'hi'!

~ Old One

PS - It is a PITA to start new threads when the old ones fill up, but keeping the commentary is so much fun!

PPS - If you want to pick up *Faded Glory* from the beginning, with limited commercial interupption, this is a great place to start:

Against the Shadows IV - A Faded Glory Story Hour

_(cough, cough)_


----------



## Dawn

“TEN GOLD!?” Wulf bellowed. His eyes bulged in genuine shock. “Yer get a hand job with that?”

LOL!!!  I had people stopping by to look in my office door I was laughing so hard.  Wulf - what a role player!


----------



## Squire James

My suspicions run along the lines of:

1.  Moradin wasn't stumped.  He was laughing!

2.  After getting done with his laugh, he sent off a little message to Tyr...

3.  Tyr being a Norse god and all, did what the Norse do best in response:  he started a bar fight.

4.  After demonstrating to Tyr that he had several Divine Ranks of advantage, and that bar fights wasn't something to go and do short- (or one-) handed, Moradin delivered his answer.

(I imagine it would have been even more lively if one of them weren't Lawful Good!)


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Shorty went out during what was left of the daylight hours-- the guard gate had warned them in advance that the sun fell at _precisely_ 6 PM every evening-- to gather more information from the inhabitants of the city. It was a crucial bit of investigation by the halfling, as the party really had no leads on Imperagon other than a half-assed divination to seek their path in Rigus.

Before long Shorty had gathered a little more information about Acheron, Rigus, and Imperagon specifically. The nearest gate to Acheron opened onto a huge metal planetoid called the _Battlecube._ Wulf was probably the only one who looked forward to a place called the Battlecube, but nobody had any better suggestion for entering Acheron with any sense of their bearings.

As for Imperagon, Shorty got a hot tip that an arms merchant by the name of Verachus had some dealings with Imperagon.

Without delay, they set out to find Verachus.

The party walked calmly but resolutely through the impeccable streets. It was not long before Wulf noticed that they were being shadowed. Down a featureless alley between the equally bland square buildings, Wulf got a glimpse of two silvery lions, heading in the same general direction as the group. At each intersection of street and alley Wulf could see them, keeping pace right alongside them.

“Screw this,” said Wulf. “Follow me. If we’re gonna play cat and mouse, I’m gonna be the goddam cat.”

Wulf veered off down the alley, directly towards the two lions. As they got closer, Wulf could see that they were made of some kind of metal, like the skin of a gorgon, a golem, or some kind of clockwork. But as to what they _really_ were, Wulf knew bugger all.

If there was an intelligence behind them, it was amazingly casual. The lions stalked right past Wulf and company and did not so much as look around as the dwarf swung into the street behind them. They just kept right on walking, wherever they were headed.

“Well, what now?” asked Keldas.

Wulf briefly considered the possibility that these steel lions might be some sort of local patrol, a kind of clockwork watchdog on the lookout for troublemakers.

Briefly, he considered that. But his instincts knew better. “Ferkit, let’s follow ‘em. See how long they wanna play.”

Now the party stalked along behind the lions, following through twists and turns, though the lions never tried to lose them—indeed, they hardly seemed to notice them at all. Just as the party was about to give up, just as Wulf was about to second-guess himself, the lions glided to a stop outside a blacksmith’s shop.

“Uh oh…” said Shorty, though before the utterance had even crossed his lips the lions had turned towards the shop, leaping through the door in a shower of splinters.

Wulf was surprised to find axe and dagger in his hands, and his boots rang on the pavement as he sprinted to close the distance between himself and the shop. He was dimly aware of Karak shouting behind them, “The laws strictly forbid vigilantism!”

Wulf skidded to a stop in front of the shattered doorway. The lions were already scattering the remains of the smith around his small shop. There wasn’t much left of the poor fellow-- though it was plain to Wulf the victim was a dwarf.

Wulf’s face flushed red with anger and yet somehow he heard the paladin shouting behind him, “You cannot draw steel except to defend yourself!”

Wulf snarled and stepped into the doorway. _Fine, yer want out, yer comin’ through me,_ he thought. He yelled to Karak who’d finally reached his side, “Block the door!”

The lions didn’t seem concerned in the least. The one closest to the door opened its mouth and an ear-splitting roar washed over them. It wasn’t something Wulf could dodge, and he took the full brunt of it. His ears were still ringing when the second lion leaped over its partner and dragged Wulf into the smithy with both paws. Wulf thanked the gods for his long coat of mail as he felt the thing’s rear legs scrabbling across his guts.

_Oh gods, that hurts,_ he thought. _Can’t take even one more hit like that. _

Wulf tumbled out of its grasp and took a swipe at it with _Taranak_. The blade bounced off harmlessly and Wulf switched his stance, now advancing sinister with the bone dagger in his other hand. “Somebody kill this prick before it kills me…”

Shorty pelted the area with an _ice storm._ “Crap,” yelled Wulf. “Can’t dodge that, you know!”

Karak still stood at the door, clearly torn among several difficult decisions. His hand hovered briefly over the hilt of his sword before he swung it out and stepped up to flank the first lion with Wulf-- but still he wasn’t sure. Wulf slammed his dagger into the ass-end of the creature and that, too, slid harmlessly off its metal flanks.

“Should I use my scroll of _Holy Sword_?” asked Karak.

Wulf brandished the two apparently useless weapons in his own hands. “YES!”

The lions roared again, this time in tandem, catching everyone but Wulf in dual cones of sound. Shorty was completely deafened by the blast and obviously having trouble spellcasting. Keldas, clearly a little more practiced, called up a crackling green bolt from his fingertip and managed to _disintegrate_ one of the lions.

Shorty and Alliane were whimpering and limping away, and Karak, who was in no great shape himself, finally acted. One more roar would probably kill two or three of them. He read his scroll and his sword burst forth with brilliant holy energy. Karak stood to his full height in the doorway, challenging the lion to get past. The creature advanced on Karak, who _smited_ it across the chops. The blow should have cleft the thing in two but it merely shook its sleek head and kept coming. It pounced, dragging the paladin to his knees.

As if he’d been waiting for the opportunity, Keldas used another of his tricks that was proving more and more successful: _Hold Monster_. Wulf thought the lion creatures were still firmly in the “golem” column, and didn’t have high hopes for Keldas’ spell-- but it worked! The creature stiffened up and fell over with a ponderous crunch.

Wulf sheathed his weapons with lightning speed and yanked a length of sturdy rope from his haversack. In no time flat he had the thing expertly trussed-- though it had been some time since Wulf had practiced with his knots, and he was less than sure that mere silk rope would hold the thing for long.

Shorty, Alliane, and Keldas joined them in the room, and the town watch was hot on their heels, drawn by the sound of battle. The assmar from the front gate was with them. “WHAT IN THE SEVEN HEAVENS IS GOING ON HERE?”

Wulf looked around-- at the gore-spattered remains of the blacksmith, at Shorty, Keldas, and Alliane sitting quietly and nursing their wounds, and at Karak, standing in the center of the room brandishing a holy sword that still shone like the north star.

“Ahhh…” he expertly lied, “the paladin here went crazy, see....”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part II*

Shorty, Alliane, and Keldas joined them in the room, and the town watch was hot on their heels, drawn by the sound of battle. The assmar from the front gate was with them. “WHAT IN THE SEVEN HEAVENS IS GOING ON HERE?”

Wulf looked around-- at the gore-spattered remains of the blacksmith, at Shorty, Keldas, and Alliane sitting quietly and nursing their wounds, and at Karak, standing in the center of the room brandishing a holy sword that still shone like the north star.

“Ahhh…” he expertly lied, “the paladin here went crazy, see.... but we reigned him in and took this ‘un alive.” Wulf booted the critter and it stirred ever so slightly. 

Wulf’s blatant lie seemed genuine enough-- from the right perspective. The aasimar raised an eyebrow, clearly aware that Wulf was lying and making the logical assumption that he was deliberately trying to stir up trouble for Karak.

Keldas smoothly stepped in to take over with just enough of the truth to sweeten the deception. He thought it best not to even mention its _disintegrated_ counterpart, but he stayed as close as possible to what had really happened. “We found this creature attacking the keeper of this shop. We were too late to save the poor shopkeep, but we did our best to take the culprit alive.”

The aasimar seemed satisfied with the evidence at hand. “Don’t stray from the city and keep yourselves available at the inn. We may have additional questions for you.” He gestured to his men to drag away the captive.

“Poor Verachus…” muttered Shorty.

The aasimar turned, laughing, as he departed. “This isn’t Verachus,” he said. “Verachus is an efreet, and, believe me, more than a match for any assassin.”

“Well,” Wulf mused, standing patiently while Alliane attended to his wounds with a wand of healing, “let’s check it out tomorrow. I’ve had enough for one day.”

“I say we press on!” said Karak.

“What’s yer hurry? Assmar just told us Verachus is safe.”

Karak started to cast his eyes down, almost sheepishly, then looked up. Now, his eyes were blazing. “I have accepted a _quest_ from my church. I must eliminate Imperagon!” 

The paladin looked around at the incredulous faces of his companions. “Of course, you guys are welcome to join me.”

“Bloody friggin’ gracious of yer.” Wulf knew a bit about _quests_ and _geases_. Why anyone would willingly accept a debilitating disease to run some other fool’s errand, he had no idea. “Well… Those lion things were no fun. We got no weapons to match ‘em. I say we head home for… oh, a month, two months, yer know, make summat ‘at can hurt ‘em.”

Shorty joined in. “Sounds like a plan to me, too.”

Wulf kept on. “Well,” he said, shaking the paladin’s hand. “Good luck with all _that_.”

The group headed for the inn, leaving the paladin sputtering and muttering in disbelief. “Hey!” he yelled, running after them.

“Calm down,” said Keldas. “They’re only kidding.”

“Ach… right, I suppose so,” said Wulf. 

“Let’s go talk to the genie,” suggested Shorty.

“Do me a favor,” said Wulf, nodding. “When we meet him, call him a genie.”

**

They came upon Verachus as he was closing up his shop. The efreet, with flaming hair and shining brass-colored robes, sat arrogantly astride an enormous, horned, 12-legged wurm. His fire giant bodyguard stood up from locking the door, then crossed his arms and did his best to look imposing.

Wulf looked up beneath the fire giant's steel-plated kilt. "Guess it ain't true what they say about giants after all. We’re lookin’ for Verachus.”

“Verachus does not deal with ignorant primes,” sneered the efreet.

“That so?” asked Wulf, suddenly inspired to kick his teeth down his throat. _Giant, no problem. Behir, no problem. Might kill Shorty and Keldas, though. Efreet could be unpleasant if he’s got any spells._ “Perhaps Verachus deals with Imperagon, then?”

Judging from the look on Verachus’ face, he _clearly_ had some dealings with Imperagon. They had his attention now. “Come by at noon tomorrow, when Verachus’ shop is open. We will talk further.”

Wulf shrugged, oblivious to any duplicity. “Ok.” He waited until Verachus and his menagerie had walked off. “Don’t think I coulda took another second o’ listenin’ to him refer to himself in the third person. Halma had better grammar, for cryin’ out loud.”

Shorty hopped from foot to foot. “Guess we head back to the inn, then?”

**

The night passed uneventfully. No scrying, no unexpected assassins sent by either Imperagon or Verachus.

They gathered up and discussed what to do with their morning. Wulf would have preferred to head back to the forge but was content to search Rigus for the supplies he needed.

“Keldas’ spellbook is in dire need of _Greater Magic Whuppin’_-- at least till Dorn rejoins us. Let’s find a scroll shop. Anybody got the cash?”

Keldas nodded. “I brought all my gold. I have a few thousand.”

Wulf wanted to thump him. “Yer outta leave that behind at the forge where it’s safe. Then again, can’t hardly complain about it right now.”

Shorty helped them find a scroll shop, though they were disappointed to find the shopkeep had only two scrolls-- and at inflated prices. Wulf figured that _greater magic weapon_ was in pretty high demand in the outer planes, what with everybody and their brother having some kind of immunity. He bristled at the high price, but it couldn’t be helped. The shopkeep could tell he had them over a barrel.

They bought the two scrolls, one for scribing into Keldas’ spellbook, one as a backup, and headed out to meet Verachus. They found him waiting in his shop-- his enormous shop, with room for an efreet and a fire giant to easily work inside. 

If Wulf’s skill at diplomacy had taught him anything, it was that an honest and direct approach worked best. “Well, we’re lookin’ to kill Imperagon. Hope yer not working with him cause that would just mean we’d have to kill yer too. So… ahh… where can we find him?”

“Imperagon is no ally of Verachus. You will find him in Avalas, in a cube known only as ‘The Lost Cube.’ It is so called because it has no gates that lead directly to it.”

Wulf nodded, indicating that Verachus should go on.

“Now as to what you can do for Verachus… Imperagon has stolen a large amount of adamantine from me.”

Wulf felt the familiar stirring in his pants-- err, in his soul, rather-- at the mention of the precious ore.

“This is no small sum,” said Verachus, doing calculations in his head. “About 200,000 of your gold crowns’ worth of ore. Verachus would very much like it returned, without any particular consideration of the methods.”

Wulf jumped, perhaps a bit too eagerly, at the opportunity. “No problem.”

Verachus was suddenly suspicious. “Perhaps some insurance is appropriate…” He began casting.

Keldas interrupted him. “You can’t come off any worse. Either Imperagon will have your ore or we will.” He paused. “And if you try to cast _Geas_ on me I’ll kill you now.”

Verachus held up his hands in a peaceful gesture, then turned to the fire giant. “Snurreson?”

“I wish that if they attempt to betray you in any way, you will immediately know.”

Verachus seemed satisfied, as did Wulf. He was really more interested in killing Imperagon than in the adamantine. He didn’t have any plans to betray Verachus.

Verachus handed Keldas a small crystal rod. “You will want to enter Acheron via the Battlecube. From there, this crystal rod will point the way to Imperagon’s Lost Cube. Return here when you have the ore.”

**

The party walked through Rigus and exited out the other side, crossing a bit more of the outlands until they reached the gate to the Battlecube. The gate was an enormous arch, at least 50’ high by Wulf’s reckoning, and made entirely of bleached bone piled up and fused together by some unholy magic.

“Oh,” Keldas understated.

“Ready?” said Wulf.

They stepped through. 

The Battlecube was an enormous flat plane of hard, black iron. In the distance they could hear the sounds of battle: weapons rang, foes shouted, others cried out in agony. It would have been an experience to remember had they not been distracted by what they faced as soon as they stepped through the gate.

An enormous spider, as big as a summer cottage, 40 feet across from side to side, scuttled forwards, towering over them. Wulf craned his neck up to take in the entire gargantuan monstrosity. Atop its back sat a female drow, riding easily and confidently atop the hairy, lurching platform.

Wulf tensed. He couldn’t see Keldas,  but he could almost sense the hairs standing up on the elf’s neck.

“Step aside,” the drow announced from her high perch. “I would use the gate...”


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part II (cont.)*

“Step aside,” the drow announced from her high perch. “I would use the gate...”

Keldas stood fast in front of the gate. “Who do you serve?”

“’Whom’,” Wulf whispered. “And don’t be an ass.”

“I serve my own interests,” the drow replied. “Now, will you step aside?”

“NO.”

_Deeper Darkness_ fell across the group, but at least a few among them knew what Keldas’ inevitable stupid decision would be, so they were ready. Shorty responded immediately by dispelling the darkness, just in time for Wulf to see the spider looming over Keldas. 

Wulf grabbed the elf from behind and spun him around, putting his own back to the spider and doing his best to shield Keldas. He felt huge fangs sink into his back, where the neckline of his chain shirt left his flesh exposed. So close to the throbbing arteries in his neck, there was little Wulf could do to resist the poison. _Sons of Odin,_ he thought, _it burns like hellfire!_ 

Wulf’s knees felt like jelly and it was all he could do to quickdraw his daggers. He turned and backhanded them towards the drow, but the poison in his veins was eating his muscles alive-- and it wasn’t exactly taking its time about it. All three daggers fell short or bounced away harmlessly.

Loyal drew and fired three times, each shot nailing the spider dead on-- and glancing harmlessly off its hide.

_Not good. It’s infernal._

Clearly not one to take any chances, the drow cast a _flame strike_ on the group and centered it directly on Loyal-- catching Keldas and Alliane as a bonus. Wulf managed to dodge the blast and Keldas and Alliane did their best, but Loyal was caught completely off guard. He took the full force of the blast. He staggered on his feet for a moment, teetering on the brink of sudden death, drawing desperately on a deep hidden well of elven fortitude.

Well, perhaps more accurately, lapping desperately at the puddle of elven fortitude. At any rate, despite the power of the blast, he somehow held on.

Keldas straightened his robes where Wulf had roughly grabbed him and cast _mass haste_. He was still within reach of the spider-- a spider that big, Wulf figured, had a reach of 15 or 20 feet!-- but he cast defensively and immediately chained into a second spell, a _hold monster_ for the spider. Unfortunately, the infernal spider was a little more clever than Keldas gave him credit for. This time, the spider read the elf’s movements and lunged at him unexpectedly. Keldas skipped back out of the way-- but it was enough. He lost his concentration and his spell fizzled. 

From deep in the back ranks Alliane acted, first with a _flame strike_ that caught both drow and spider, then with a _divine storm_ of whirling blades that hovered high in the air and sliced through both enemies at an angle. To Wulf’s eye, it was obvious that the spider ignored both spells. 

“Take out the weak link!” Wulf shouted. “Drow first!”

Loyal responded by stapling the drow with three arrows in rapid succession. Shorty was next, first casting a _spectral hand_ then blasting the priestess with a _brutal seething surge_. Wulf had seen this new trick of Shorty’s a couple of times. It wasn’t pleasant in the best of circumstances, but Shorty had managed to work his _spectral hand_ into a critical spot before unleashing the surge. It seethed. Brutally. The drow fell dead in crispy blasted tatters.

Though it was now on its own, the spider moved with unnerving intelligence, leaving the entire group to wonder exactly who was enthralled to whom in drow-spider relations. The spider raised its bulk high over the group, moving out of the divine storm so that it could sink its fangs into Alliane.

Wulf knew from first-hand experience, but the super-concentrated poison of the infernal spider came as a shock to the rest of the group, starting with Alliane. She spasmed for only the briefest of moments before collapsing. In mere seconds every muscle in her body was useless.

Seeing the lady go down, Karak charged in, bellowing his usual “SMITE!” warcry. Of course, he didn’t figure on the spider’s reach, and as he moved within its range it sank its fangs deep into his flesh. Karak’s luck was little better than Alliane’s. His strength vanished, and though he managed to complete his charge, he struck the spider with all the ferocity of a mewling babe.

Then he collapsed under the weight of his own plate mail.

As the paladin lay there on his back, his arms and legs flailing feebly, Wulf couldn’t help drawing the comparison again: Karak looked like he needed someone to change his nappy.

Keldas summoned a celestial dire bear to attack the spider from behind while Wulf stepped up to flank it. With Loyal’s arrows providing a distraction, Wulf managed to land four solid blows on the spider-- two with _Taranak_, two with the dagger. The spider ignored the flames from _Taranak_, indeed it ignored both blades for the most part, but Wulf had managed to work both of them into tender spots on the creature’s belly. It couldn’t ignore _that_.

Still the spider acted with uncanny intelligence. Perhaps, like Wulf and his companions, it knew to concentrate on the weak link. Perhaps it ignored Wulf because the sturdy dwarf was the only one among the group to have taken the spider’s poison and stayed on his feet.

But it chose to attack Karak, and so Wulf chose to imagine that, whatever intelligence lurked behind those multifaceted eyes… well, this spider had a sense of humor:

The spider _smited_ Karak. 

The fangs sunk deep but the bite didn’t kill him. The smite didn’t kill him. It was the poison that did the work. Karak was finally completely paralyzed, as helpless as Alliane. 

More worthless than the peck on a bad day.

“Goddamn yer!” Wulf shouted. “It’s just poison! Are yer even _tryin’_ to resist it?”

Using Wulf as a distraction, the paladin managed to activate his _helm of teleportation_ by thought alone. He teleported away, about thirty feet, just enough to take himself out of harm’s way.

“Ach! Yer complete puss!”

Never one to let his emotions get in the way, Keldas moved blithely along, stepping up to cast _greater magic weapon_ on Loyal’s quiver. While Shorty’s _spectral hand_ chased the spider around with _brutal seething surge_, Loyal filled it full of arrows: four solid hits. The spider noticed Loyal anew. Those arrows bit _deep_.

The spider leapt away from from Wulf and the dire bear and closed in on Loyal. One gargantuan bite later and Loyal was staggered-- he couldn’t resist the poison either, and although it didn’t take his strength out completely, he’d simply had enough, what with the _flame strike_ from before, that he settled on discretion. He fell over and played dead.

They were down to Wulf, Keldas, and Shorty-- and Wulf wasn’t counting on the two mages sticking around if things got any worse. He tumbled through the spider’s tree-like legs and came face to face with it. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep it at bay, and once again the spider sank its fangs deep into Wulf’s flesh. Wulf grit his teeth and somehow-- perhaps by his great fortitude, perhaps by his dwarven resistance, perhaps by sheer force of will alone-- managed to fight off the effects of the poison. Wulf waited the briefest of moments while the dire bear lumbered up into flanking position with the spider.

Thousands of axes and daggers glimmered in the spider’s eyes as Wulf suddenly sprang to action, hacking and stabbing. Indeed to the spider it may have seemed like an army of thousands was at work on his underbelly. The spider was split open and collapsed like an enormous, rotten plum.

Wulf bent over with his hands on his knees. He could feel the poison still coursing through his veins. “Comin’ again...”

Keldas grabbed Shorty and started pulling off rings and cloaks to aid Wulf’s resistance, but he waved them away. “Nah, I got it… Just a little spider bite, right?” After a minute of intense agony, Wulf finally stood. He could use a _restoration_, sure, but the poison had spread so far through his body that, in dispersed doses, he’d fought it off. 

Wulf looked up to see Keldas standing up from the body of the drow. He’d sorted her magical belongings into a neat pile and as he stood, the elf tucked a scrap of paper into his sleeve. Wulf caught only the briefest of glimpses before the scrap disappeared. It didn’t mean anything to him but it clearly meant something to Keldas. The scrap said, “KOLYORAL.” It was nonsense to Wulf and so, therefore, _file and forget_. He had other things on his mind, anyway. He started dragging his fallen comrades back towards the gate to Rigus.

“Yer complete an’ utter prick…” Wulf muttered to Keldas. “Get it through yer head now, we’re gonna meet a lot of unpleasant folk out here. An’ some of ‘em yer just gonna have to ignore, right? Between yer and Karak I reckon we’ll be pickin’ fights with every pit fiend an’ ‘is brother before this is all over.”


----------



## Plane Sailing

Excellent Story!

Complete diplomacy failure on the part of Keldas though. Can you really trust anyone whose name starts with a K?

It sounds like the spider had an utterly awful poison - how bad was it?

One other question: _brutal seething surge_? I've not heard of that one. Where is it from and what does it do?

p.s. cheers to Wulf - bitten twice and still standing! Good job about the summoned dire bear though...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Complete diplomacy failure on the part of Keldas though. Can you really trust anyone whose name starts with a K?*




Kellick? He was an alright little fellow.



> *It sounds like the spider had an utterly awful poison - how bad was it?*




Mmm... High 30's? I want to say DC38. Maybe 35. I made two saves, one a 20 and one an 18.



> *One other question: brutal seething surge? I've not heard of that one. Where is it from and what does it do?*




Book of Eldritch Might II. Shorty has been converted to the Monte version of sorceror, which is also why he has all those charisma skills now-- gather info, etc. Not sure on the details of the spell but it is a touch spell that stays active for several rounds, and each hit does something like d4 + twice caster level. So he's doing upwards of 20 points a shot with it. And he crits with it _all the time_. (Sometimes when we really, really don't want him to.)



> *p.s. cheers to Wulf - bitten twice and still standing!*




Yes, I _am_ bloody friggin' hard, ain't I?


Wulf


----------



## KidCthulhu

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part II (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Well, perhaps more accurately, lapping desperately at the puddle of elven fortitude. At any rate, despite the power of the blast, he somehow held on.
> 
> As the paladin lay there on his back, his arms and legs flailing feebly, Wulf couldn’t help drawing the comparison again: Karak looked like he needed someone to change his nappy.
> 
> *




LOL.  Even in the midst of terrible battle, you still have time to stick it to the elves and the paladins.  Thanks.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part II (cont.)*



			
				KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> *LOL.  Even in the midst of terrible battle, you still have time to stick it to the elves and the paladins.  Thanks. *




I admit it. Sometimes it's all about you, KidC. I don't use a word like "nappy" lightly.


Wulf


----------



## Keldas

Metus said:
			
		

> *I think there's a difference between role-playing and hack 'n slash.  But regardless, the main thing for me was that from what I've seen of Keldas, that didn't even feel like his character's style.  To just start getting all over someone like that?  Whatever.
> 
> But I neither run nor game in this adventure, so I really don't know.  It just seemed odd and out of character to me, that's all.
> 
> Then again, he did slip that note in his pocket.  Maybe there was some ulterior motive. *




When is it out of character for a good aligned elf to whomp on a Lloth worshipping drow priestess?  I realize Wulf glossed over it in the story hour but I believe I did get confirmation that she worshipped Lloth.  (I may not have however.  I can't remember if Dinkledog gave an obscure answer when I asked the question of the priestess).  On top of the normal elf / drow hatred though, the drow were responsible for the destruction of Keldas' home city a couple hundred years ago and potentially stole the heirloom minor artifacts that he has been questing for his entire adventuring career.  As a player I knew this was not the smartest move but there is no way Keldas would let a drow priestess (spider or no spider) go about her business unless he was involved in a more important, time critical quest, which was not the case at this point.  Wulf can be pragmatic and state that you can't just go after every evildoer you encounter in the outer planes but some of us don't feel that way, especially when it comes to drow.

Keldas


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Keldas said:
			
		

> *I realize Wulf glossed over it in the story hour but I believe I did get confirmation that she worshipped Lloth.  (I may not have however.  I can't remember if Dinkledog gave an obscure answer when I asked the question of the priestess). *




Actually, what happened is I leaned over to you and said, "She's just going to say Llolth anyway, jackass." 

I took pretty good notes on that.

For what it's worth, I would have done the same thing-- if I was playing an elf. I'm not exactly cryin' into my beer for the poor "innocent" drow.


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy

There's something to be said for having your home or family destroyed by a generally evil race.  Doesn't help your reactions to them any.

If what is technically good for the party in game and out of game goes against your character, screw it, go with the character.  Much more fun later than, "Then we stepped outta the spider-kissing wench's way"


----------



## Metus

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I'm not exactly cryin' into my beer for the poor "innocent" drow.*




I can't help but feel sorry for her, though.  She was just going about her business.

You seemed to explain it well enough, Keldas.  It makes perfect sense after hearing about the background.  That's what I meant by I know I'm not a player in the game, so I'm probably not as informed about all of your characters (and motivations) as I should be.  I was just saying what it looked like from an outsider's view.

In any case, it certainly seems justifiable now.

Note:  Would've responded earlier, but the board problems interfered.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I agree, but we've been over this here before, and it really is a moot point now. 

I'm cashing out my personally hand-made cloak of shadows. I'm cashing out my personally hand-made chain shirt of silence. Yes, I'll miss having Nightscale's brain-pan leering out from over my own noggin, but it's time to face facts. I can drop the useless cloak and my amulet of resistance, take a cloak of resistance and amulet of natural armor instead. Then I sell my crap-ass chain shirt and trade it out for plate. I should be able to get my AC well over 30, not even counting the Expertise/Superior Expertise feats I'm picking up. Sure, I'm proud of the fact that I made it past 14th level with a 21 AC, but I have reached the limit of sheer dwarven bull-headedness on this issue. 

The limit of such in-character decisions hinges on finding a "slow time" demi-plane (as seen in PC's story hour) where I can find a forge and a few years to crank out some personal stuff with all this adamantine. Barring that I'll just hock the old crap and buy magic plate off the rack. Pragmatism trumps pride.

Henceforth I will have all the subtlety of a sledge to the forehead.


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Hammerhead said:
			
		

> *You can still get sneak attacks just by flanking, at least. *




Yeah, but I hate for the sum total of the rogue experience to be my sneak attack dice, which is what it's come to.

(Don't get me wrong, though, there are quite a few bodies in the dead bad guy pile who are wishing I didn't have those sneak attack dice. I kicked some ass yesterday...)

But, it's always something. I was alone, I was way out in front of the "guys in clunky plate mail," I am sneaking _and_ silenced _and_ hiding _and_ invisible... and something else pops up. Scent-based blindsight. Go figure.

As for masking that scent-- and I may be way off here-- I would presume that a large portion of having a +16 Hide skill entails a few simple tricks, like, say, *staying upwind*. Far be it from me to assume that a 16th level character knows something that your average cub scout can't figure out... I mean, I don't know precisely what +16 Hide is supposed to represent, but I am pretty sure it isn't "Nothing much."

And I really hope it isn't, "Nothing that a novice wizard with 2nd level illusions can't do better."

But again... Moot point. My scoutin' days are over. My official title is now "doorstop."


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Major Image (wiz3) should do it. That's the first level at which illusions cover smell.

But that's hardly a satisfactory fix. I want to rely on _another_ spell to remind me that my skills are useless compared to the meager arcane abilities of Myron the Mage? 

I have a serious problem with spells that supercede skills in every situation. I don't want to add to the already prevalent case where a 1st level spell is better than the skills of a 20th level expert. That has huge repurcussions on campaign verisimilitude for me...

So this is the campaign paradigm that I am facing. My skills are irrelevant in the face of the spellcasters (who are reaching the point where they can one-shot a lot of the stuff we face). So it is far, far more useful for me to take Expertise and Superior Expertise, jack my AC into the 50's or so, and just use my Devoted Defender ability to keep taking the hits for Keldas or Dorn so they can get their F-U spells off. I got the AC, I got the hit points, so... whatever. 

I'd hate to break the game or ruin the adventure by successfully sneaking up on anything. Fortunately the designers of the adventure path have seen fit to include a creature with blindsight in every module since Forge of Fury-- and that's not even counting the "undead can detect life" rule I had to live with for a while.

Don't cry for the rogue, Nail. At this stage in the game sneaking up on CR16 critters is suicide anyway. 

Wulf


----------



## Squire James

If Blindsight and Scent totally trumps stealth skills in your campaign, then hanging up your sublety at the door is the right thing to do.  The proportion of monsters with Scent/Tremorsense/Blindsight goes UP as level goes up, not down!

As a DM, I usually assign a large circumstance bonus for monsters with detection specials to find hiding people, since hiding people are HIDING and not simply invisible.  I'd much rather tell Wulf that his +16 Hide skill is inadequate to overcome the +10 Blindsight bonus the dragon had to his already-high Spot skill (HD +Wis bonus +3!) than tell him that Blindsight trumps Hide entirely.

To use a classical example, if Smaug knew exactly where Bilbo was from the get-go, the Hobbit would have had an entirely different ending!  It seemed to take some time for the dragon to locate him.  However, most D&D rules about dragons seem to be designed to keep PC's from doing anywhere near as well as Bilbo did...


----------



## Numion

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> I'd hate to break the game or ruin the adventure by successfully sneaking up on anything.
> 
> Wulf *




I don't know if I failed my saving throw vs. sarcasm or what, but I've got lot's of experience DMing characters who have sneak attack, and that ability hardly breaks the game or ruins adventures.

Sneak attack works best from Imp. Invisibility or flanking; surprise round (or the round after it if you've got initiative too) doesn't really matter that much. (So I have to wonder why your DM has made it really difficult? A surprise round with sneaks just isn't that big of a deal that'd it affect fun for anyone.)

IMO sneak attacks are one thing that the 3e playtesters (and designers, of course) got right. It seems suspicious, but it really is balanced. IIRC Monte even said that the system was balanced on the premise that Rogues get sneak attack damage on _every attack._


----------



## Rune

Wulf's problem isn't that he isn't getting sneak attacks, it's that he doesn't get to sneak up on anything at all using nonmagical means--and he's kinda feeling hosed for having a +16 bonus to do nothing.

And to do it with less consistency than a low-level spell caster.

He gets sneak attacks from flanking all the time.  But sneaking up on something does not necessarily lead to attacking it (unless you have no choice, because you were detected, because you can't sneak up on it, because you aren't using magic, etc.).

As I see it, the designers really expected rogues to go into prestige classes by the time they hit higher levels, or to use magic consistent.  The only way to compensate for this is to broaden the definition of the "Hide" skill, as Wulf suggests.


----------



## LightPhoenix

Numion said:
			
		

> *
> Sneak attack works best from Imp. Invisibility or flanking; surprise round (or the round after it if you've got initiative too) doesn't really matter that much.
> *




Except you just missed his entire point.

Improved Invis. means he has to rely on a spell, from another class, to use his ability effectively.  An ability which is one of the major tenets of the class.  Same deal with sneaking - if he has to rely on another person to cast spells on him to use major functions of his class, why even bother with the class?

Similar sort of thing with flanking.  When it does come up, it means Wulf is right on the front lines, and an extra 1d6 damage (or is it 2d6, I forget how many Rogue levels Wulf has) at those levels isn't worth the levels put into Rogue.  He'd have been better off taking levels of Ranger for the skills, and get some more fighting prowess out of it.

For the record, while Blindsight does say that creatures usually don't have to make Spot or Listen checks if you're in their range, as long as you know what kind of Blindsight they have and take measures against it, they should have to make a check.  Blindsight though scent could be countered by rolling in the dirt or mud... maybe the first has them make a check with a +10 bonus, the second a normal check.

(Personal opinion)
Blindsight is a misnomer for the ability, I think.  If it's just an alternative form of sight, they should still have to make checks.  Hell, Dwarves don't automatically see anything within 60 feet of them when there's no light, why should something with echolocation?  IMO Spot isn't just seeing stuff, it's interpretation of little things that are wrong - whether it's noticing that the bush over there just rustled and there's no wind, or there's a slight bump from the signal you received from that rock.

And on that note, why would something with scent-based Darkvision get a bonus to Listen?  Maybe something with echolocation might, but something with vibration-based blindsight certainly shouldn't.

Of course, this argument is harder to make with something scent-based, but that's when you do something like I described above - don't make it a flat out success no matter what, but add a hefty bonus unless precautions are taken.  A +20 bonus to a Spot check would suffice.

The more I think about this ability, the more recoculous I think it is.  Maybe I'll write something up in House Rules about it.


----------



## Tony Vargas

Rune said:
			
		

> *As I see it, the designers really expected rogues to go into prestige classes by the time they hit higher levels, or to use magic consistent. *




PrCs are optional, so, no I don't think there's a built-in expectation of use of them.  Using magic items does seem to be assumed - there are wealth/level guidelines, item availability guidelines, and the generic NPCs in the DMG all have items - including those specificially to help complement thier skills/roles.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Lothar said:
			
		

> *Hey Wulf,
> 
> Have fun trying to take no damage from breath weapons and fireballs with that shiny new plate armor. *




Funny you should mention that, since last time we played there was a table ruling that folks in a grapple get no Reflex save. I took 3 or 4 lightning bolts dead center, no save.

It was fine with me at the time (and it makes a certain kind of sense) but I have since come to the conclusion that, unless a spell specifically says you get no save, you ALWAYS get a saving throw. So in my game, at least, I won't be negating saves for any "logical" reason. They defy logic.

Saving throws aren't there to simulate realism, they are there to simulate heroism. 

Wulf


----------



## Piratecat

I'm of the opinion that a major character schtick that never gets the opportunity to be used is a shame. Heck, I think i'd add minions into a dungeon just so Wulf can sneak past them!  

It must be more difficult running a pre-set selection of adventures; there is less space to add and subtract plot. If all of the major bad guys have "see sneaking" abilities, that makes it much more difficult for rogues.


----------



## Dinkeldog

Hey guys.

Why doesn't anyone talk between 4 and noon when I'm at work?

Anyway, Wulf, I believe you're wrong on Reflex saves particularly.  I remember reading in one of the core books, though I'd be hard pressed to pull it out here at work, that Reflex saves are not allowed if you're denied your dex bonus.  What I would do next time, though, would be allow a spot check to notice the incoming lightning and then a grapple check to see if the cat would let you wiggle enough to avoid the bolt.  The cats were immune to the lightning, so they would try to hold people still while the bolts came in.

My issue with the sneaking in this adventure, as well as the beginning of the last, is that you've been fighting the last war.  The bat-people had blindsight by hearing, so we'll cast a silence on Wulf to nullify their echo-location and he should be fine.

No one thought maybe a _legend lore_ would be handy?  Find out what the strengths and weaknesses of the steel predators might be?

Again, I thought your last sneaking mission was a success.  You were able to get information before the battle.  I was surprised you didn't take the helm of teleportation with to beam yourself home, but that's a minor thing.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I'd just like to make it perfectly clear that my whining here isn't to say that dinkeldog's doing a bad job. He's run a successful and entertaining game for over a year, come on.

But I am a rules lawyer at heart and when the rules are "wrong" I like to discuss it.

As for my sneaking ability, I don't want to do "recon." I don't _need_ to do recon, because (here we go again) we have spells for that. But I would very much like to sneak up on some bad guys and drop the whammy on 'em. I am optimized, both rules-wise and character-wise, for back-stabbing and unpleasantness, and taking sneaking out of that long chain of optimized feats and skills means that I have to be content with just flanking.

Which just doesn't feel at all the same as getting the drop on somebody and whackin' 'em without pity.

The problem with the Reflex save is multi-layered, because I'm grappling, and I have uncanny dodge, and I have evasion. There's a lot of stuff going on. As I said before, I didn't think it was the "wrong call" or anything at the table, I was happy to take my lumps and move on.

But in retrospect, at least in my game, as long as the spell says you get a save, you get a save. I don't like trying to apply realism to a concept that is completely unrealistic in the first place. So I'm grappling and I can't dodge? That sounds reasonable. But could you please explain how in other circumstances I could be standing at the center of a fireball in the middle of a barren cave and evade the whole thing? So _that_ makes sense, but when I'm grappling it doesn't?

Point is, and forgive me for repeating myself, it's not about realism, it's about heroism. Sometimes you just get lucky (and rogues more often than not).


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *I sometimes think that the party thinks that Wulf's sneaking should then allow the entire party complete surprise on the enemy. *




Not at all. 

But it would be nice if it would at least allow _ME_ to have complete surprise on the enemy.

Four little cats and one _really_ big cat... Would I have opted to attack them right then and there if I thought I had the drop on them? 

You bet yer ass I would.

It occurs to me as I write this that one of the reasons Wulf has been so lucky in cheating death for so long is that I'm never given the opportunity to make stupid decisions like that. I'm never alone to do the stupid heroic thing. Always got my homies at my back-- God bless 'em, every one.


Wulf


----------



## Keldas

*The Dwarf is onto something here...*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> But in retrospect, at least in my game, as long as the spell says you get a save, you get a save. I don't like trying to apply realism to a concept that is completely unrealistic in the first place. So I'm grappling and I can't dodge? That sounds reasonable. But could you please explain how in other circumstances I could be standing at the center of a fireball in the middle of a barren cave and evade the whole thing? So that makes sense, but when I'm grappling it doesn't?
> 
> Point is, and forgive me for repeating myself, it's not about realism, it's about heroism. Sometimes you just get lucky (and rogues more often than not).
> 
> 
> Wulf *




This is the best argument I have heard for allowing a reflex save when pinned.  I have to say I was in complete agreement with Dinkeldog at the table ruling yesterday but now I think we made the wrong call.  There seems to be very little difference between being grappled and avoiding damage from a lightning bolt and being at ground zero of a fireball (or meteor swarm) and avoiding damage.  If anything it would seem easier to avoid the lightning bolt.

On the other hand I know I have seen other threads where people have stated that someone grappled in a Dragon's mouth does not receive a saving throw and this seemed to be accepted fact (potentially based on the core rules).  This would seem to support Dinkledog's argument that the core rules prohibit reflex saves when grappled.  

Keldas


----------



## Piratecat

There is, in fact, a core rule that disallows evasion or a reflex save when there is absolutely no way for a PC to dodge. however, I'd probably argue for allowing it when grappled; after all, doesn't the hero ALWAYS spin at the last minute and let their enemy take the bullet/knife/spell that was meant for them?

Not that it is any of my business, of course.    By the rules, I can't fault the ruling made in-game; I would have ruled the samew way, I think.

Less yappin', more writin'!


----------



## Keldas

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Ooof! Marathon session today! 12 hours...
> 
> I am hoping that both Karak and Keldas will send me some personal story hour notes for some stuff their characters accomplished...
> 
> And Wulf as usual completely in the dark about it all... *




Reread the character history I created a year and a half ago when we started and it will all make sense.  Don't worry I'll send you some info to remind you and flesh out the details.  Kudos to Dinledog for working this into the campaign seemlessly.

Keldas


----------



## Jeremy

Here's a quote from the Official D&D Frequently Asked Questions guide.  It is in regards to something else, but it addresses reflex saves when you have no dexterity modifier.  Just like when you are grappled and you lose your dexterity modifier to AC vs. external sources.

"Being flat-footed negates your Dexterity bonus to Armor
Class, but it does not affect your ability to make opposed rolls.
Your ability to react to danger is somewhat compromised when
flat-footed, but only slightly. For example, you become subject
to sneak attacks, but you make saving throws (even Reflex
saving throws) normally."

The DMG lists some situations where in evasion doesn't apply like PirateCat's aforementioned completely filled hallway with no where to dodge etc, and though it suggests a circumstance penalty to the Reflex Save, it doesn't negate the ability to attempt to minimize the damage.

In a grapple you are still moving around and wiggling and can get out of the way.  In a pin you are still capable of trying to take cover  underneath your pinner.

The simplest way to adjucate it IMHO is to ask whether there is a chance to turn, move, take cover, dodge, react, or even for luck to intervene for a hero.  If so, give them their reflex save but penalize it if you feel the situation justifies it.  There might be an air pocket in that swirling inferno of a fireball that the monk's uncanny senses allow him to locate and move with.  For evasion, if there is no way they can avoid some of the damage and minimize the rest (they are tied to a wall and blasted by lightning bolt) take away the evasion as per the rules but still allow the reflex save.  They might be able to twist or turn in their bonds just enough to not take the full brunt of the spell.

Even sleeping creatures get reflex saves.  Does it say anywhere that a helpless character is denied reflex saves, maybe in hold person somewhere?

Edit:  From the SRD:

"Bound, held, sleeping, paralyzed, or unconscious characters are helpless. Enemies can make advantageous attacks against helpless characters, or even deliver a usually lethal coup de grace.

A melee attack against a helpless character is at a +4 bonus on the attack roll (equivalent to attacking a prone target). A ranged attack gets no special bonus. A helpless defender can't use any Dexterity bonus to AC. In fact, his Dexterity score is treated as if it were 0 and his Dexterity modifier to AC were -5 (and a rogue can sneak attack him)."

Now I'm sure, though I can't find it so burn me as you see fit, that sleeping has been ruled a situation you still get a reflex save in.  And sleeping is listed under the helpless condition summary.  So if I'm right, then the rules as currently stated allow reflex saves even when held, just not evasion.  I'll keep looking.


----------



## Baron Von StarBlade

I find the recent posts on this thread very interesting. I've always thought that you are only denied a reflex save when you are incapicated (ie helpless). Your Dexterity would drop to 0 and you wouldn't get a save. Being tied up would cause this, and I could see the arguement for being pinned (not just grappled). With that being said, I do think if you do deny a Reflex when you are pinned, then at the very minimum the Pinning creature should provide some sort of cover to soak the damage for you. Of course cover provides bonuses to Reflex Saves so it is a moot point 


Just my 2 Copper Pieces.


----------



## Marauder

Jeremy said:
			
		

> [B"Being flat-footed negates your Dexterity bonus to Armor
> Class, but it does not affect your ability to make opposed rolls.
> Your ability to react to danger is somewhat compromised when
> flat-footed, but only slightly. For example, you become subject
> to sneak attacks, but you make saving throws (even Reflex
> saving throws) normally."
> ...
> A helpless defender can't use any Dexterity bonus to AC. In fact, his Dexterity score is treated as if it were 0 and his Dexterity modifier to AC were -5 (and a rogue can sneak attack him)."
> ...
> [/B]




Seems cut-and-dry to me. It basically says that unless specifically stated, you always get a Saving Throw. In the case of a sleeping character (or even one that is held, stunned, or paralysed) they will be allowed a Reflex save; however, as their Dex is equal to 0, this will be at a *-5* penalty from their base save (after adding in special modifiers due to such things as _cloaks of protection_ or a paladin's Divine Grace).

So, in Wulf's case, I think it would have made more sense to allow the save but disallow evasion. If he was just grappled you might have also disallowed a Dex bonus to the save (Base + Non-Stat Modifiers), or if he was pinned then treat his Dex as 0 and just allow a save equal to Base + Non-Stat Modifiers - 5 and again disallow evasion. Sure, this will make it extremely difficult to pass the save to avoid damage, but I guess the point I am trying to get across is that *unless it is irrefutably impossible to avoid the damage*, then the victim should get a save. Another way of saying would be that if there is even the slightest chance of avoiding the full brunt of the damage, then the victim should get a save. By applying the modifiers above, it makes a successful Saving Throw very difficult to succeed at (if not impossible without rolling a natural 20) but the chance is still there,

Sleeping/Held etc creatures are still allowed to make Fort and Will saves so while I can see why people would disallow Reflex saves in those instances, it doesn't make sense from a game point of view. It also doesn't take into account random situational variables nor does it factor in chance/pure luck (in addition to magical protections and/or Divine Grace which might be active as well - these things just don't suddenly stop functioning/protecting a character because he/she is asleep or pinned). Just make the Dex modifier to the Reflex save equal to -5.

Sorry for the lengthy post


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Just sitting here enjoying my Black Adder collection and had a moment I'd like to share:

Nurse: Tell me Edmund, do you have someone special in your life?

Blackadder: Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Nurse: Who?

Blackadder: _Me._

Nurse: No, I mean someone you love, and cherish, and want to keep safe from all the horror and the hurt.

Blackadder: Hmm... Still _me_, really...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part III*

Stopping only briefly to loot the fallen priestess, they returned to Rigus to lick their wounds. Once they were safely back in the Twin Stars inn, they took a closer look at the loot. 

A chain shirt, a buckler, some potions. Alliane identified a scroll of _heal_ that Wulf discreetly tucked into his belt. _See if I can’t figure that out later…_

No one noticed. Alliane had already moved on to the drow’s wand. “_Bull’s Strength_,” she announced. “And plenty of charges. That will come in handy.”

Wulf nodded as he cinched up the buckler and strapped it across his left forearm. “Not the sort o’ thing I’d waste time and money makin’ myself, but a nice little bonus.” He flexed his buckler arm once or twice and did some practice draws from the wide band of daggers across his chest. 

“I guess we probably want to sell this,” said Karak. He was turning the drow’s light mace over and over in his hands. The top of the mace was rather unsubtly tipped with the multi-pointed star of chaos.

“Like hell we do,” said Wulf, snatching the mace away and looping it through his belt alongside his growing collection of oddball weapons. “I reckon that’ll be handy out here in lawful-lawful land.”

*****

The following day they risked their luck at the gate again. Moving through the bone portal they arrived in Acheron, care of the Battlecube once more.

“Well,” said Wulf. “Guess we try to teleport from here to the Lost Cube, right?”

“Sight unseen?” Keldas was alternately looking down at Verachus’ crystal, then scanning the grey skies of Acheron for Imperagon’s cube. They could see other cubes flying through the void, but it was impossible to tell them apart. What’s more, there wasn’t any good way to gauge distances: what could appear to be a large cube many miles away could in fact be a small cube fairly close.

Wulf shrugged. “Yer got a better idea? I’m game.”

“Come on,” said Shorty, “What’s the worst that can happen?”

*****

Their first attempt was wildly off. 

They found themselves standing on the featureless flat plane of a floating cube-- not _their_ cube, of course, not the one they were looking for, but a cube that had apparently been selected as a battleground by warring factions.

A boulder skidded past them, striking sparks off the iron. “Giants!” yelled Wulf.

The party had arrived in the midst of a battle-- actually, physically, between fire giants on the one side and frost giants on the other. Shorty immediately began casting, thinking he’d blow a few giants to smithereens without being particularly fussy about which side he chipped in on. 

Wulf stayed his arm. “We need to get out of here… NOW.”

“You don’t think we can take them?”

Wulf looked around. The battle was in full pitch, with dozens of giants on either side. “Trust me on this.”

They teleported again, trying once more for Imperagon’s so-called Lost Cube.

*****

Keldas sat uncomfortably on Shorty’s small flying carpet and bent to peer around Alliane, who herself was seated uncomfortably between her cousin’s legs. Behind her on the 5’x9’ carpet was Loyal, and he had Shorty in his lap.

All in all, it was a little too chummy for Wulf’s tastes-- sittin’ lapsies with the cohorts. He was grateful for the _wings of flying_ he’d inherited from the peck. Karak hovered nearby on his own set of wings and waited for Keldas to give the word.

“Well,” he said. “That’s the right cube. I’d say it’s about a 100 miles out. Shall we?”

The party flew ahead through the featureless sky of Acheron, and the Lost Cube loomed slowly larger. They had covered about half the distance when Keldas suddenly shouted a warning. “There’s something…”

“Over there…” Wulf finished for him.

Before they could truly register the threat, a pair of spectres materialized around Karak and drained a good chunk of his life-force. 

Wulf drew his bone-handled dagger-- the one he’d picked up in Nightfang Spire, the dread bane of ghostly creatures . “I hope yer still got that bastard sword I gave yer, assmar…”

“I have it! I have it!” the paladin swore. 

Unfortunately, their weapons would be of little use to them. Materializing out of the mists came two dark, winged horrors, the likes of which none of them had ever seen. The creatures chuckled to themselves as the party’s surprise and horror turned to full-fledged magical _confusion_. Wulf stood dumb-struck for several precious moments, looking back and forth between the dark horrors and Karak, unsure of who to attack. Something deep inside him hoped the paladin would stray within reach of his blade, and he chuckled to himself, echoing the mad laughter of the dark horrors.

Wulf watched as Keldas, Loyal, and Shorty succumbed to the confusion as well. Alliane leapt off Shorty’s carpet and hovered in the air beside it. You couldn’t really “fall” in Acheron, but neither was she able to move. She bailed out just in time as Shorty, in command of the carpet, decided to wander away. The spectres moved in to Alliane and began draining her lifeforce as well.

More importantly, they drained away memory of certain key spells, not the least of which was her _plane shift_. 

The carpet sailed off with Loyal, Keldas, and Shorty on board, and the dark horrors followed. Leaving the spectres behind to deal with Wulf, Alliane, and Karak, the creatures flew alonside the carpet, swiping at Loyal from time to time with wicked talons. Their laughter increased in intensity as the entire party of seasoned adventurers was completely incapacitated by their _confusion_ ability.

In a dim corner of Wulf’s mind he registered all this. Frankly he couldn’t believe that Keldas and Shorty both had lacked the will to resist the effect, yet he could still see them out there, sailing away into the distant skies of Acheron. Loyal sat on the carpet, eyes blank, doing nothing even as the dark horrors shredded him bit by bit. 

Eventually Loyal had enough. He stood and drew his bow, nocked an arrow, and fired. 

At Keldas. 

_We are so dead,_ thought Wulf. Still he sat dumbfounded. His hands itched to attack something. Anything. Just let the paladin get a little closer…

Karak did just that. Grabbing Alliane by the scruff of her neck, he dragged her over to Wulf. Then he grabbed Wulf and unceremoniously teleported the three of them the hell out of dodge.

While half the party cooled their heels and counted their blessings back at the gate to Acheron, things got worse for Keldas, Shorty, and Loyal. Before Keldas made up his mind to attack Loyal, the elf archer finally pitched face-first onto the carpet, bleeding out from the wounds of the winged horrors. They’d fled for nearly a full minute, and though they easily outpaced the spectres, the horrors had kept up with them, occasionally unleashing “bursts” of confusion on their hapless prey. By the time Shorty had finally had enough of wandering away aimlessly, he was “re-confused”—and, unfortunately, clearly pissed.

Loyal lay dying on the carpet before him and Shorty lashed out at the nearest enemy: Keldas. 

Firing up a _brutal seething surge_, the little peck’s hand shot out and grabbed Keldas in the most uncomfortable of places. Massive energies pulsed through the link, and had it not been for Keldas’ _energy buffer_, he’d have easily been slain by this single spell. 

Keldas’ thrice-addled mind concocted an appropriate response:

He fired a _disintegrate_ ray into Shorty’s face.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Nail said:
			
		

> *"Did you read what happened t' Shorty today!?!  That's gotta hurt....."  <toothy grin> *




Shorty's gettin' downright _testy_ these days. One too many trips to the other side of the grave has turned him into a nastly little bugger.

He's a demon on wheels with that Brutal Seething Surge, too. I honestly don't think he has EVER used that spell without getting a critical hit. Seriously.


Wulf


----------



## paulewaug

Hey there!
I just wanted to get in here and say that I am a Huge fan of Wulf and Wulf's Collected Story Hour is at the top of my 'Must Read' list.

It's all old news now for the 'longtime' readers but I just wanted to voice my support for how Wulf handled 'The Peck'.
That was a wonderful chapter to the story and a long awaited outcome. 
Hey Wulf,  Have you ever read David Gemmell's novel "Morningstar"? 
  It is a good novel of a "Hero" in the same vein as Wulf Ratbane.  I think the two of you would get along very well!
Keep up the great work.  I am sad to say I find Wulf to be an inspiration!!  

Shameless plug....Please check out my story hour The Heroes of Haven 
and let me know what you think?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

paulewaug said:
			
		

> *Hey Wulf,  Have you ever read David Gemmell's novel "Morningstar"? *




Nope... Right now I am reading Steven King's Dark Tower series. I like it a lot... although it's influencing my mood, I can't say it's as Wulf-y as the Blackadder DVD's I have been devouring as well.



> *I am sad to say I find Wulf to be an inspiration!!  *




Good for you! Other than myself, you're the first person to admit that's a problem!



> *Shameless plug....Please check out my story hour The Heroes of Haven
> and let me know what you think? *




You catch on fast, what with the shameless plugging and all. I'll check it out this evening, after I get back from running my Lazy Days game. Hafta pound a few more PCs flat with giants...

Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *I notice that Wulf has cleverly used the Shorty vs Kheldas issue to obscure the tiny detail that the paladin saved his life *




It was an interesting moment at the table, let me tell you. The player was looking around the table, asking everyone, what should I do, what should I do?

The options were:

(a) stay and fight, which would probably end up in TPK
(b) save who he could and leave the other half of the party to die

I just sat quietly with my hands folded in my lap and refused to comment even to save my own life. Those are the sorts of decisions a wannabe paladin should make on his own. 

Well, that and the fact that, if he's going to save my life, I ain't beggin' him for it.

Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part III (cont.)*

Firing up a _brutal seething surge_, the little peck’s hand shot out and grabbed Keldas in the most uncomfortable of places. Massive energies pulsed through the link, and had it not been for Keldas’ _energy buffer_, he’d have easily been slain by this single spell. 

Keldas’ thrice-addled mind concocted an appropriate response:

He fired a _disintegrate_ ray into Shorty’s face.

Fortunately, halflings are made of sterner stuff than most-- or so it’s said-- and Shorty looked ready for more. This realization slowly seeped in to Keldas and he backed up, stepping off the carpet to float in midair.

Shorty’s brain struggled with options: Kill the elf? Kill those winged things? In the end, he decided once again to simply wander away. The carpet took off like a shot and Keldas was left hanging in mid-air to face the horrors alone.

Fortunately, Loyal’s wounds were not as bad as they appeared, and before long he stabilized and his breathing returned to normal. By the time Shorty regained his senses, Keldas was a thousand yards away. Sadly, Shorty could do nothing but _teleport_ to safety.

*****

In the interim, however, Wulf had not been idle. He roughly shoved a scroll of _plane shift_ into Alliane’s hands, and with Karak’s helmet the three of them were soon back in the Forge.

The Old Man hardly seemed surprised to see them. “You look like you just walked off a battlefield in Acheron,” he deadpanned.

“No time for jokes, Old Man! We need a _miracle_ and we need it now!”

“Ahh, as you know…”

“Right, right, 28,000… We’ll settle up later. Bring Keldas, Shorty, and Loyal back here before it’s too late.”

“Are they dead?”

“Dead or alive, don’t care, just _wish_ ‘em home.”

“_Miracle._”

“Whatever. They WILL be dead if you don’t move yer ass.”

All things considered, it was a simple _Miracle_. They weren’t unravelling time or raising folks back to life. Wulf figured if they acted quickly enough, it wasn’t all that much more complicated than a planar summons. And it worked: Their three companions were returned to them, bodies, gear, and all. 

“How did you defeat those winged horrors?” Shorty immediately blurted out.

 “I didn’t. They were taking their time with me.” Keldas frowned. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Bet they were sorry to see yer go… Ach, by the way, yer owe the old man here twenny-eight large.”

*****

After a brief rest (and one more misadventure with some infernal rocs) the party finally managed to set foot on Imperagon’s so-called Lost Cube. A flat iron plane stretched off for hundreds of miles in every direction. There was no sign of any “Iron Fortress.”

Wulf thought for a moment. “Right… Let’s head to the corner, then we can peek over and scan three sides at once.”

They took to the sky and headed for the “southeast” corner. It took them the better part of the day-- or at least, what apparently passed for a day in Acheron-- before they reached the corner. Luck wasn’t with them. Shorty lay down to peer over the edge and reported the disappointing news. 

“No tower. What now?”

“Reckon we head for the opposite corner and try again.”

It was a journey of several hundred miles back across the surface, covering acres they’d scanned already. There was a growing suspicion in Wulf’s mind that the side they wanted would be on the opposite face of the cube. Fortunately, before he could get work himself into a foul mood, they struck paydirt.

No, it wasn’t the Iron Fortress, but it would do. Below them on the surface of the cube, some sort of nasty scrap was going on. Wulf looked at both sides like he was scanning a menu and couldn’t decide what to order for his main course: Three formians were lined up in orderly fashion against three humanoids.

Like Wulf, Shorty was itching to let fly with something nasty. “Who do we blast? The bugs?”

“Not sure yet… Let’s get closer and give it a second to decide.”

Wulf was glad he’d waited. As they swooped closer the humanoid figures resolved into better clarity. They were fiends of some sort, and from the looks of the dead formians lying around, they were getting the better part of the deal. It took no time for the group to move into attack formation alongside the formians. 

As soon as they had closed the distance to the melee, the leader of the fiends stepped back, cackled madly, and belched forth a _power word: blind_. Keldas and Alliane were both temporarily blinded by the blast, but Shorty took the worst of it. With a flash and a bit of smoke, his eyes were completely vaporized. Loyal held on for dear life as Shorty wheeled the carpet around and flew off in full retreat. 

The other two fiends weren’t idle, either. They each blasted the area with a _chaos hammer_, pounding the formians and the two elves-- much to Wulf’s amusement, of course. Unfortunately they’d acted a bit too soon, otherwise they might have caught the paladin who came charging into their ranks to smite their leader. Wulf took the opportunity to dart past the three fiends and come up in a nice flanking position, his weapons hacking away in a blur of destruction.

Though blinded, Keldas stepped back slightly and polymorphed himself into an umber hulk. _Clever move,_ Wulf thought. _Tremorsense!_ Alliane, also blinded, back-pedalled out of the area just as another two _chaos hammers_ rained down on the group. This time, Keldas and Karak were caught, and they were both staggered by the blast-- again, much to Wulf’s amusement.

Wulf changed his tune a moment later when the formians unexpectedly countered with _Order’s Wrath_, leaving Wulf dazed for a moment. Through the haze over his eyes he saw Loyal grab control of Shorty’s carpet and come sailing around in a wide circle on their flank. Loyal had pushed Shorty to the front of the carpet, and though the little blind halfling should have been holding on for dear life, he was gritting his teeth, staring forward with his empty eye sockets, and casting.

“What the hell are yer doin’… oh, no…”

Wulf realized just in time what Loyal had in mind. He was already dodging before he heard Loyal shout, “Now, Shorty! Lighting bolt, dead ahead!”

The stroke of lightning would have caught Wulf had he not jumped at the last moment to hide behind the fiend’s leader. Karak finished the work they’d started, finally dropping the fiend’s leader. One of the hench-fiends, acting with military precision, dropped back from the front line to grab a potion from its belt. Wulf acted quickly as the fiend tried to pour the potion down the throat of their fallen leader. 

“Ach, no…” _Taranak_ lashed out and smashed the flask into a thousand pieces. The potion sizzled in the wake of the fiery axe.

Thinking they’d got the better of him, the second fiend stepped up to try the same trick. 

“No, again…” Another flask was smashed to pieces. Clearly, they’d underestimated Wulf’s combat reflexes. The dwarf with the fiery axe seemed to tower over their fallen leader, and there was nothing they could do but watch his life bleed away. Oddly enough, the fiends chuckled, a deep throaty sound that was oddly familiar. They continued chuckling and babbling even as Loyal and the formians cut them down. 

Wulf was genuinely surprised to see the “fiends” revert to their natural form as their bodies finally gave up the ghost.

_Slaadi!_ Wulf slapped his forehead in frustration. _I guess if I’d ‘a known that, I might’ve fought with ‘em._

But it was all for the best, as they soon discovered through Wulf’s canny interrogation.

“What yer doin’ out here?”

“We were on a hunting / reprisal raid versus the metallic cats,” came the nearly monotone reply. The party instantly recognized the metallic cats-- surely the same assassins that had been sent to Rigus. 

Wulf grinned his friendliest, most genuine grin. “Reckon we ought to talk, then. Take us to yer leader.”


----------



## JacktheRabbit

ROFLMAO!

I had almost expunged that horrible day from my mind. Thank you for bringing it back to the surface.


You forgot  though about the bolt action rifles that hit better and harder than barret .50 sniper rifles. 




			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> That's become our new catch-phrase for any monster that conveniently shows up when the party is doing better than the DM expected, and he wants to "put them in their place." (They appear from the depths of the DM's Sarlacc Pit, if you know what I mean...)
> 
> Of course, the Tusken Raiders in question must possess constantly morphing stats-- BAB, AC, hit points, skills, whatever it takes-- so that no matter what the PC's do, they are outclassed and completely faced by the DM's newly arrived bums.
> 
> Also known as "Tusken Ex Machina."
> 
> 
> Wulf *


----------



## drunkadelic

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> Of course, the Tusken Raiders in question must possess constantly morphing stats-- BAB, AC, hit points, skills, whatever it takes-- so that no matter what the PC's do, they are outclassed and completely faced by the DM's newly arrived bums.
> *




Facts:
1. Dinkeldogs are mammals.
2. Dinkeldogs fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the Dinkeldog is to flip out and kill PCs.


----------



## Ancalagon

LOL!!

Ancalagon


----------



## Piratecat

50,000 views - WOOT!


----------



## Femerus the Gnecro

Good lord... here I am getting pumped about having *nearly* 200 views.

50,000.  Sheesh.  Congrats Wulf.  



-femerus


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Thanks.

Of course one has to wonder whether all the page views have to do with Piratecat's recent visit to Chez-Wulf. 

I gave him the run of the place, including my computer, so he might well have secretly installed a copy of his industrial-strength view ticker; you know, the same one he's using.


----------



## Immort

Alright enuff jawin' already.  We gots here 2 whole pages of almost pure fluff.  Git ta some "crunchy bits" already.

-Immort


----------



## Rodrigo

*Enuff!*

I aggree!  Enough of the mutual kiss-@ss here!  Give us some stories or at least something controversial like "who has the torch".   Sheesh.

Ok, I'll start then:

I would have to say that the lack of death on Wulf's part is somewhat peculiar considering the body count that has weighted the rest of the party down.  I think that perhaps Wulf is really an elf bard.  Lurking in the back of the party singing "La Vita Loca" and writing his epic while the rest of his party dies in droves.  Perhaps this is the same kind of revisionist history that lead us to believe we actually landed on the moon.  Come on Wulf/Don Quixote, now is the time to come clean.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I attribute my long life to the three most important things in my character's development:

1) good Fort saves
2) good Reflex saves
3) a metric assload of HPs.

Err, ahh, I suppose somewhere in there I should thank the rest of the party who step in to save me all the time... Of course that's why I travel with the _good guys_ instead of the _bad guys_, but I can't seem to convince dinkeldog of that fact. 

As of the last time we played I'm still "chaotic good." I don't think I even have neutral tendencies anymore. 

Wulf


----------



## Rodrigo

*For Shame*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *As of the last time we played I'm still "chaotic good." I don't think I even have neutral tendencies anymore.
> 
> Wulf *




Sheesh.  If your not careful the next thing that will happen is your dangly bits will fall off and you will need a helmet with holes cut out for your pointy ears.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I attribute my long life to the three most important things in my character's development:
> 
> 1) good Fort saves
> 2) good Reflex saves
> 3) a metric assload of HPs.
> 
> Wulf *




Don't forget _Evasion_.  I'm pretty sure that helped.

And nice of you to be thinking metric with your assload measurements.  Very 1980's.  Or very European.  Take your pick.

[edit] I've just read this again, and thought "oh, that could read like I think Europeans are trapped in the 80's"

Not so.  Bad phrasing.  Blame it on the typed medium.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

If it were both very 1980's AND very European, there would likely be a Speedo involved, and nobody wants to see that.


----------



## Piratecat

The beard would probably cover most of it, anyways.


----------



## Jeremy

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *If it were both very 1980's AND very European, there would likely be a Speedo involved, and nobody wants to see that. *




You keep teasin me!    I keep seeing "Last Updated by : Wulf Ratbane" and thinking you've updated..  What happened?  What happened?


----------



## Hatchling Dragon

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *You keep teasin me!    I keep seeing "Last Updated by : Wulf Ratbane" and thinking you've updated..  What happened?  What happened? *




It's already been pointed out 'what happened', Wulf's secretly an Elf with a _Hat of Disguise_ on at all times just *pretending* to be a Dwarf.  Proof is simple, you know that those daisy-eaters are a bunch 'o teases, and Wulf's a tease....  

Hatchling Dragon


----------



## jonrog1

Tag, you're it.


----------



## Dinkeldog

I attribute Wulf's long life to having 10 more hit points than he needs at any given time.



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I attribute my long life to the three most important things in my character's development:
> 
> 1) good Fort saves
> 2) good Reflex saves
> 3) a metric assload of HPs.
> 
> Err, ahh, I suppose somewhere in there I should thank the rest of the party who step in to save me all the time... Of course that's why I travel with the good guys instead of the bad guys, but I can't seem to convince dinkeldog of that fact.
> 
> As of the last time we played I'm still "chaotic good." I don't think I even have neutral tendencies anymore.
> 
> Wulf *


----------



## Horacio

*Re: For Shame*



			
				Hatchling Dragon said:
			
		

> *
> It's already been pointed out 'what happened', Wulf's secretly an Elf with a Hat of Disguise on at all times just pretending to be a Dwarf. Proof is simple, you know that those daisy-eaters are a bunch 'o teases, and Wulf's a tease....
> 
> Hatchling Dragon *




Are you really a silly elf, Wulf? Have you been lying me all this time?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *The beard would probably cover most of it, anyways. *




My beard only hangs to my knees.


----------



## Nail

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *I attribute Wulf's long life to having 10 more hit points than he needs at any given time.*




Good answer.....Wulf, time t'get some more hit points.  'Dog knows how many he needs t'mash now.



> *
> Wulf: ....there would likely be a Speedo involved, and nobody wants to see that.
> 
> PC:  The beard would probably cover most of it, anyways.
> 
> Wulf:  My beard only hangs to my knees.*





....an' lemme guess: yer normally wear boxers.   Jeeesh, man, don't blind us!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Here's a clue, it rhymes with "moo mundred".


----------



## Piratecat

Less yappin', more posting!  JonRog has updated his story hour. I have updated mine. And where the hell is yours, huh?  Huh?


----------



## Ancalagon

metric is european or 1980!?!?

Hey it isn't the rest of the world's fault the americans are too stuborn to switch over to a real mesurement system!

Wulf is probably an unewholesome half-elf half-dwarf.  He cliped his ears short and takes beard growing potions.  Total denial.

Ancalagon


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Ancalagon said:
			
		

> *Hey it isn't the rest of the world's fault the americans are too stuborn to switch over to a real mesurement system!*




Heh... Nobody ever got to be a world superpower by following France's lead. 

I am working on the story hour this afternoon, so yer can quitcher whinin'.


Wulf


----------



## RatPunk

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Heh... Nobody ever got to be a world superpower by following France's lead.
> 
> *




This little nugget of wisdom is going on the Rat Bastards' Quote Page. 

Good one, Wulf!

And you know, it occurs to me that insulting Wulf by calling him an elf isn't going to encourage him to post the next story update. More likely it'll just make him mad enough to hunt each and every one of you down and kick you in the junk!

So with that in mind I say, write on oh Dwarf of all Dwarves!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV*

While they walked towards the formian lair, Wulf chatted with the ants to get a better feel for the metallic cat situation.

“How many yer killed?”

“A handful,” came the reply, though Wulf was left wondering what exactly a handful meant to a horse-sized ant.

“How many yer ever seen in one place at one time?”

“Two.”

Wulf raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s somethin’, then. We can take two.”

They rested briefly with the formians-- long enough to trade out Shorty (who was due for a rest, along with Loyal) and to meet up again with Dorn, newly arrived from the prime and fully updated by the Old Man.

Wulf shook his hand. He was clearly glad to see him. “What yer been up to?” 

“Crafting wands… Doin’ the temple thing...”

“Hmm,” Wulf grunted. “Well, right. Let’s take care of this cat business then.”

The formians directed them to the steel cats’ lair, and before long they found it: a faint path that eventually disappeared into the earth between two steep canyon walls. It was about 80 feet from the top of the walls to the cave mouth at the bottom. 

The group turned to look at Wulf, apparently under the impression that he was qualified (and expected) to do some sort of scouting. 

“Get in there and do it,” Dorn said. “You can take ‘em, right?”

“Well, all right,” he started, looking at Keldas. “_Invisibility_, please.”

Wulf winked out of sight, and Dorn felt a tap on his shoulder. “_Silence_, please.”

Wulf turned and pointed to the paladin. “Gimme yer shield.”

Karak ignored him. 

“Gimme the goddam shield.”

Karak continued to ignore him-- then jumped with surprise when Wulf wrenched the large Lion’s Head shield from his arm. Obviously, the invisibility and silence were working just fine. 

Even so, Wulf wasn’t taking any chances. He crept into the cave, every bit as quietly and stealthily as he could manage. The tunnel ran back about sixty feet before it horse-shoed and opened into a larger cave. Wulf crouched quietly by the opening, eyeing the occupants of the lair: three regular-sized steel cats and one _enormous_ friggin’ den mother. He sat and thought for a moment, remembering the way the cats had easily mauled him back in Rigus. True enough, this time _Taranak_ and his trusty bone dagger were enhanced by Dorn with _greater magic weapon_, but he wasn’t confident that if he was grappled again, he could overcome even one of the cats, let alone three, before he was ripped to pieces.

Outside the cave, Keldas stood over Dorn’s shoulder. “You’re scrying him, right?”

Dorn’s scrying sensor followed Wulf closely. He had taken flight with his _wings of flying_ and sailed up to the top of the cavern. He hovered over the largest of the creatures, trying to decide whether or not to pounce on it, when the largest creature suddenly lifted its smooth, steel, eyeless head and sniffed about. It could sense that something was up.

“Yes, I’m scrying him,” Dorn answered, “and getting a good chuckle out of it, too...”

One of the smaller steel cats suddenly got up and padded out of the cave. Wulf followed after it, furling his wings at the last minute to follow it into the narrow corridor. Wulf lost sight of it briefly as the creature rounded the bend. He was being careful to stay at least fifteen feet behind it, lest the radius of his _silence_ spell suddenly overlap the creature and give him away.

There was little need for his precautions. As he rounded the corner, the creature sprung at him from a narrow crevice. It struck him with unerring accuracy.

_Blindsight,_ Wulf thought. _Ferkin figures._ He swung his axe into the hide of the creature, and it bit deep. 

Wulf was expecting help at any moment from his friends outside, but it would have to wait. From the middle of nowhere a shadowy figure suddenly appeared, flanked by two dire tigers. The creature barked out an order and Wulf recognized the hobgoblin tongue. 

“Attack!” He punctuated his command by firing his bow at Alliane,  who hovered far above. The arrow struck her breastplate with such force that it nearly disappeared under her armor. Despite her grave wound, and eschewing her spells completely, Alliane drew her mace and charged the hobgoblin, dive-bombing him from above. She struck him a near-fatal blow and he staggered back a few steps.

The hobgoblin acted to shift the tide of battle. He drew a bead from within his vest and cast it down between his dire tiger pets. Immediately, the creatures grew to immense proportions. Wulf estimated them at twenty feet wide and sixty feet long-- or, measured in the common parlance of dwarven engineers, “Ferkin’ immense!”

The lead dire tiger now completely filled the width of the narrow valley leading to the cave, so Karak and Dorn rushed in before it could completely block it off. Dorn skidded to a halt as silence washed over him, then hopped back a couple of feet. Unfortunately, it put Karak up against his back with nowhere to run. 

Dorn could see Wulf standing several  feet away now, doing his best to hold back three of the steel cats. Suddenly, the enormous den mother appeared around the corner. Wulf sidestepped, putting putting the other steel cats between them, all the while hacking away with his axe for all he was worth. 

“This is real bad…” he observed silently.


----------



## Jeremy

> Prying Eyes
> 
> Divination
> Level: Sor/Wiz 5
> Components: V, S, M
> Casting Time: 1 minute
> Range: One mile
> Effect: Creates 1d4 levitating eyes +1 eye/level
> Duration: 1 hour/level (see text)
> Saving Throw: None
> Spell Resistance: No
> 
> The character creates ten or more semitangible, visible magical orbs (called "eyes") that move out, scout around, and return as the character directs them when casting the spell. When an eye returns, it relays what it has seen to the character and then disappears. Each eye is about the size of a small apple and can see 120 feet (normal vision only) in all directions.
> 
> The spell conjures 1d4 eyes plus one eye per caster level. While the individual eyes are quite fragile, they’re small and difficult to spot. Each eye is a Fine construct that has 1 hit point, has AC 18 (+8 bonus for its size), flies at a speed of 30 feet with perfect maneuverability, and a +16 skill modifier on Hide checks. The eyes are subject to illusions, darkness, fog, and any other factors that would affect the character's ability to receive visual information about the character's surroundings. An eye traveling through darkness must find its way by touch.
> 
> When the character creates the eyes, the character specifies instructions the character wants the eyes to follow in a command of up to twenty-five words. Any knowledge the character possesses is known by the eyes as well.
> 
> In order to report their findings, the eyes must return to the character's hand. Each replays in the character's mind everything it has seen during its existence. It takes an eye only 1 round to replay 1 hour of recorded images.
> 
> If an eye ever gets more than one mile distant from the character, it instantly ceases to exist. However, the character's link with the eye is such that the character won’t know if the eye was destroyed because it wandered out of range or because of some other event.
> 
> The eyes exist for up to 1 hour per caster level or until they return to the character. After relaying its findings, an eye disappears. Dispel magic can destroy eyes. Roll separately for each eye caught in an area dispel. Of course, if the eye is sent into darkness, then it’s very possible that it could hit a wall or similar obstacle and destroy itself.





Need to start making these critters invisible.  They're a lot more expendable than Wulf and sending Wulf in alone hasn't turned out well once that I've read...

Not that magic can do everything a thief can do, it can just do a lot of it a little bit safer...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *Not that magic can do everything a thief can do, it can just do a lot of it a little bit safer...   *




No, no, really, it's all right, don't sugar coat it on my account.

I'm quite accustomed to having dozens of wasted skill points. Why bother with a highly trained professional when Myron the Wiz Kid can whip up a spell to do it better?


Wulf


----------



## Nail

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I'm quite accustomed to having dozens of wasted skill points. Why bother with a highly trained professional when Myron the Wiz Kid can whip up a spell to do it better?*



Amen, bro......err, y' nasty bastard!


----------



## Immort

Come on now, this is 3E, where magic is god and god is a cleric.  Ya gotta figger magic got ramped up sumptin' fierce, specially wit low stat point buys, yer spell tossers are gunna have the upper hand all the way.  Skill points are just window dressin'.

-Immort


----------



## Hammerhead

Wouldn't you want cheap, expendable scouts?  Considering that Wulf almost whines every time he's forced to scout - at one point, he even wished the peck was around - you'd think he'd be glad for a spell to do his work.

Check things out with a spell, if possible, then, if you can sneak up on the foes, send the rogue in.  He'll probably give better info, and could ginsu a guy caught unawares.  No sense in wasting the rogue if you know he'll get caught right away.

Besides, scouting is overrated anyway.


----------



## Metus

Hmmmmm.  That update was all well and good, but I still pine for more.  I believe it wasn't a satisfactory update, length-wise.  More please!


----------



## paulewaug

mmmmm..
yes more please!
That was a nice appetizer,
but we know you have many more courses cooking on your stove mr. Ratbane

we need our fix!

Yes it is true I am a Ratbane junkie!

It is too bad skills don't match up at higher levels.
I guess the "ShadowDancer" prestige class isn't very prestigious
then, as it's skills and abilities won't really stack up next to the parties spellcaster either.

But anyhow, crank out those updates please!!

I want to see what wulf "got" for 'amnesty day'!?
Is he gonna be a Tusken Raider Slayer?


----------



## Horacio

I think that spell from Jeremy could complement Wulf, not doing his work at his place. At least, it could divert foe's attention and receive the first attacks


----------



## Dinkeldog

Of course, Wulf didn't hear the hobgoblin speak, since he was in the middle of a _silence_ spell.  The ensuing chaos was beautiful, though.


----------



## Jeremy

I was going to ask, how did he while invisible and silenced, demand the shield from Korak (Karak?)?  

That struck me as odd, maybe I'm just not good at reading between the lines.


----------



## Rackhir

> Wulf turned and pointed to the paladin. “Gimme yer shield.”
> 
> Karak ignored him.
> 
> “Gimme the goddam shield.”
> 
> Karak continued to ignore him-- then jumped with surprise when Wulf wrenched the large Lion’s Head shield from his arm. Obviously, the invisibility and silence were working just fine.




By Jeremy



> I was going to ask, how did he while invisible and silenced, demand the shield from Korak (Karak?)?
> 
> That struck me as odd, maybe I'm just not good at reading between the lines.




Ah, it would seem it's not the lines you are bad at reading between.


----------



## Jeremy

Duh, of course he ignored him, he couldn't hear him.

Yes, I'm always this slow.  

Could Wulf hear himself saying it?


----------



## coyote6

I'm sure Wulf could hear the voices in his head. _They're *always* there_, after all.

Okay, so this post is just an excuse to push the "number of replies" count to 500.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *Of course, Wulf didn't hear the hobgoblin speak, since he was in the middle of a silence spell.  The ensuing chaos was beautiful, though. *




Oops... and that's after I went back over the story a couple of times looking for mistakes like that.

Will fix later!


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I believe I'm gonna update today...


----------



## Horacio

Do it or don't do it, but don't think about it


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*

It was getting quickly worse. Toe-to-toe with the hobgoblin, flanked by dire tigers, and nearly dead from a single arrow shot, Alliane decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Casting defensively, she _plane shifted_ back to the prime, leaving Keldas alone to face the hobgoblin and his enormous dire tigers. 

Enormous _awakened_ dire tigers, as it turned out. The tiger nearest the cave muttered something about “Play time!” then grabbed the paladin firmly in his mouth. An awful sense of déjà vu washed over the paladin as the tiger yanked him out of the cave mouth and lifted him straight up into Dorn’s _blade barrier_. The whirling blades sliced paladin and tiger equally but the tiger had a grin on its face that clearly indicated it was prepared to take it.

Apparently it was a day for the bad guys to ignore _blade barriers_. The huge steel predator lunged forward, ignoring the blades inside the cave, and grabbed Dorn, yanking him back into the blades as well. Using every last ounce of luck he had, Dorn somehow managed to struggle free from the predator and stagger back a few steps. He cast _plane shift_ and was gone.

Wulf saw the paladin trigger his helm and  _teleport_ out of the tiger’s mouth. Now it was just Wulf and Keldas-- and though Keldas probably had a _plane shift_ memorized as well, he was flying about two hundred feet above Wulf at the moment. 

Wulf had a few choice words about this turn of events, but unfortunately the aura of silence around him prevented these newfound profanities from filtering down to posterity. One of the smaller steel predators, already weakened by Wulf’s earlier attack, retreated back into their cave to avoid the _blade barrier_, but the other two and the den mother still lurked nearby, sniffing around for him. Wulf nipped out of the cave and crouched under the blade barrier. There was only one way out: right through the twisted guts of the dire tiger. Unfortunately for the dire tiger its senses were not as developed as the steel predator, and it was unable to defend itself. Wulf whisked through it like dwarven brew through an elf-- a particularly apt metaphor as Wulf emerged through much the same orifice and with essentially the same level of discomfort to the hapless tiger.

Wulf waded through the shaggy remains and sprinted up next to the hobgoblin-- and yet, something made him pause for a moment. _Taranak_ waited in his hand.

Keldas had summoned a dire bear to deal with the other dire tiger, and while the two huge beasts grappled atop the valley, the wizard flew down to help Wulf. He cast _haste_ on the dwarf, then turned and belched _acid breath_ onto the steel predators. One of the smaller ones collapsed in a sizzling puddle, but the den mother emerged from the cave and snarled loudly. The remaining smaller predator bounded out of the cave right behind it. 

Much to their surprise, the remaining dire tiger turned from Keldas’ bear and leapt into the valley-- right onto the huge steel predator. While the two creatures struggled, each raking with their hind legs in a desperate attempt to disembowel the other, Wulf, ever the opportunist, stepped back from the hobgoblin to concentrate on the huge predator. 

His instincts were vindicated once again, it seemed; he hacked mercilessly at the huge predator and grinned with satisfaction as a volley of arrows from the hobgoblin downed the smaller predator. Unfortunately, the steel predator was better armored than the tiger had been. Only a few of Wulf’s blows actually bit deep enough to hurt the thing.

The den mother finished off the dire tiger with ease, then turned and snapped at Wulf. He was caught off guard by the speed of its attack, and found himself gripped tight in its jaws. It twisted its head and held Wulf helpless in Dorn’s _blade barrier_.

_That’s going to sting a bit,_ Wulf thought as axe-heads whizzed and axe-handles thudded around him. _But not for much longer, I reckon._

Wulf squinted and could just barely make out a shape diving out of the grey sky. Karak flew into the _blade barrier_, grabbed at the invisible shape struggling in the predator’s mouth, and teleported the both of them to the Battlecube gate. Wulf staggered through the gate and started stumbling towards Rigus.

Perhaps he thanked the paladin for his trouble, but it was swallowed by the _silence_.


----------



## Horacio

He did it!

Great update, as usual, Wulf...
It seems this time death was near... Too near, maybe


----------



## KidCthulhu

> _originally posted by Wulf_*
> Wulf waded through the shaggy remains*




Well, that's an image that's going to linger.


----------



## Rune

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Perhaps he thanked the paladin for his trouble, but it was swallowed by the _silence_.




Heh heh heh.  Oh, the irony!


----------



## Dinkeldog

Gotta love three-way battles.


----------



## JacktheRabbit

So does Wulf the armored tank appear in the next update?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Nah, thanks to wise advise, cooler heads prevailed.

No heavy armor for me.


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Are you going to at least upgrade weapons to something that does damage on a regular basis?


----------



## Krellic

Ouch, and ouch again. 

This module seems to be turning out to be something of a meat-grinder, with Wulf largely as the meat...


----------



## Jeremy

That's ok, there's moo mundred of him to go around and it makes him feel important, appreciated, and tough as nails.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *Are you going to at least upgrade weapons to something that does damage on a regular basis? *




I have Weapon Specialization: Battle Axe now. Does that count?

I got that, greater magic weapon, and 3d6 sneak attack. (Fortunately far dinkeldog still allows flanking, even if I can't actually "sneak" up on anything.)

At any rate, with a full attack action, I'm in the 60-90 per round range, depending on how my dice are treating me. What with the flaming and the sneak attack and a few daggerly d4's thrown in, I get to throw big fistfuls of dice. I can live with that. 



			
				Krellic said:
			
		

> *Ouch, and ouch again.
> 
> This module seems to be turning out to be something of a meat-grinder, with Wulf largely as the meat...*




Oh, no, it's not just me. That last fight nearly killed everybody-- look at how many folks had to skedaddle! Except Keldas, who was flying above the battle the whole time. 

This is the new-and-improved, cover-his-own-ass-first Keldas. Not that there's anything wrong with that.



			
				Jeremy said:
			
		

> *That's ok, there's moo mundred of him to go around and it makes him feel important, appreciated, and tough as nails. *




You have a fine grasp of the Wulfen mind. 


Wulf


----------



## Immort

I'm thinkin' yer blade barrier is not the best spell fer ya these days.  Seems ter do more damage to ya than fer ya.  Course that is just the bits yer relatin' so we could be skewed here.  Anyhow, likin' whut I'm seein', hopin' ta be seein' more.  Keep up the good work and fer the love of god, have Keldas upgrade yer axe permanently.

-Immort


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Very true Wulf. But if you had a plus or two to your weapons you will remove that annoying DR base that keeps getting removed from each hit.

That could be the difference between killing a monster in 2 or 3 rounds. Which could really matter if you have decided against maxing your AC.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

We have the know-how, we have the money, we just don't have the time.

I am hoping for a LONG, liesurely break between this adventure and the next to upgrade everything for the last hurrah. I'd really like to custom Craft a bunch of stuff for Dorn and Keldas to enchant.


Wulf


----------



## JacktheRabbit

You mean you need the help of some girly elf to create your items? 





			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *We have the know-how, we have the money, we just don't have the time.
> 
> I am hoping for a LONG, liesurely break between this adventure and the next to upgrade everything for the last hurrah. I'd really like to custom Craft a bunch of stuff for Dorn and Keldas to enchant.
> 
> 
> Wulf *


----------



## LightPhoenix

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *You mean you need the help of some girly elf to create your items?
> *




Nah, the girly elf is for other things...


----------



## Victim

BUMP


----------



## Jeremy

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Nah, thanks to wise advise, cooler heads prevailed.
> 
> No heavy armor for me. *




So no WulfTank?


----------



## Immort

Nice color scribble yer got there.  I am impressed.  I gotta figger Dorn looks somthin' like that.

-Immort


----------



## Horacio

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *
> 
> So no WulfTank?
> *



Not, please!!! No WulfTank. It wouldn't be Wulfish at all...


----------



## Rune

Immort said:
			
		

> *Nice color scribble yer got there.  I am impressed.  I gotta figger Dorn looks somthin' like that.
> 
> -Immort *




That's from the Epic Level Handbook, actually.


----------



## Dinkeldog

Immort said:
			
		

> *Nice color scribble yer got there.  I am impressed.  I gotta figger Dorn looks somthin' like that.
> 
> -Immort *




Actually, Dorn has arguably better weapons.  Definitely _bigger_ weapons.


----------



## Metus

Better weapons?  Better then Wulf "The Man" Ratbane?  I'm aghast.

Oh, and here's a clip from BG2 that just screamed "Wulf" to me.  Comes from Korgan the dwarf, who's upfront about how evil he is.


----------



## Jeremy

Korgan's got much better lines than that.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Metus said:
			
		

> *Better weapons?  Better then Wulf "The Man" Ratbane?  I'm aghast.*




Dorn's a monster. Leave it at that.



> *Oh, and here's a clip from BG2 that just screamed "Wulf" to me.  Comes from Korgan the dwarf, who's upfront about how evil he is.   *




Man, that's me to a tee.

Cept these days it's usually me that needs saving. Standing out front'll do that to ya.


Wulf


----------



## Metus

So..... ahem....   when are we gonna get more story?  Eh?  Eh?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I have been travelling on business, sorry.

Maybe today-- maybe. 


Wulf


----------



## Piratecat

You near us??


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Well, I _was_. I am home now, thankfully.

If I had any free time on those trips, I'd have called you up, but it's just crazy right now...


Wulf


----------



## Piratecat

Heh - Lord Nightshade sat in on last night's game, and it was a _doozy_. You two could have played Agar and Splinder the dwarf, and I would be NPC-free!  

Glad you're home safe.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Just so you folks know why I haven't updated yet, I'm busy with this:

http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?threadid=19568


----------



## Horacio

It's a great excuse, Wulf.
And another addition to my to-buy list...


----------



## Bill Muench

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Just so you folks know why I haven't updated yet, I'm busy with this:
> 
> http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?threadid=19568 *




I'm not much for -kissing, but serious props to whoever is doing your website (Andrew Hale?). It's really slick. Same with your covers. I didn't pick up the Dwaves book, but I'm definitely going to get the half-orc one. Because really, who doesn't like half-orcs?

Bill Muench
aka Hosedarmah Orcblood, Half-Orc Tribal Protector of Haven
aka Khazaras, Half-Orc Sorcerer of the Scarred Cabal


----------



## Welverin

Bill Muench said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I'm not much for -kissing, but serious props to whoever is doing your website (Andrew Hale?). It's really slick. Same with your covers. I didn't pick up the Dwaves book, but I'm definitely going to get the half-orc one. Because really, who doesn't like half-orcs?
> 
> Bill Muench
> aka Hosedarmah Orcblood, Half-Orc Tribal Protector of Haven
> aka Khazaras, Half-Orc Sorcerer of the Scarred Cabal *




Dwarves, elves, anyone who doesn't like pig faced mongrels.


----------



## Bill Muench

Welverin said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Dwarves, elves, anyone who doesn't like pig faced mongrels. *




And to you I say:


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Bill Muench said:
			
		

> *Serious props to whoever is doing your website (Andrew Hale?). It's really slick. Same with your covers.*




Both the website and the covers are thanks to the phenomenal skills of my graphic designer, Brad Kelley. 

Andy and I hash out the concept for the cover (you'll notice the theme now that there's two of them) and then Andy lays it out in black and white as a 'template' of sorts.

All of the amazing photoshop work is then done by Brad. The half-orc cover, despite the fact that it is more complicated, was actually a much less painful process. The cover on the website is his second pass, and he pretty much nailed it.

He also does the website, and is very enthused about it, as you can tell. He does a lot of freelance web design but nothing as cool as Bad Axe, of course. He's looking to add some more functionality to the website soon.

You can also thank Brad for the clean interior layout on the books. I was very disappointed that we didn't get any ENnie nominations for design, cause I think Brad and Andy both have done amazing work (and all while bein' hassled by a right prick of a boss, too...)


Wulf


----------



## Welverin

Bill Muench said:
			
		

> *
> 
> And to you I say:  *




 right back at ya!


----------



## Nail

Gah!

Arrrrrrgggg!

No updates yet.......Tell ye what: I'll buy yer half-orc book if y' give us a story update.


<mumbles> ...err, even tho' I'm gonna buy it anyway.....

<grumble, grumble> ...there goes my leverage......


----------



## Plane Sailing

So Wulf, when is the next installment due? Should I be checking my watch or my calendar! 

Cheers


----------



## drunkadelic

Nail said:
			
		

> *Gah!
> 
> Arrrrrrgggg!
> 
> No updates yet.......Tell ye what: I'll buy yer half-orc book if y' give us a story update.
> 
> 
> <mumbles> ...err, even tho' I'm gonna buy it anyway.....
> 
> <grumble, grumble> ...there goes my leverage...... *





You could always threaten him with putting on your chainmail daisy dukes and doing *Nail's Booty Dance of Updating* if he doesn't update soon.

That oughta scare an update out of him.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*

They gave the steel predators-- and their hobgoblin protector, if such he was-- one day to prepare for their return. When they scried the lair for their return trip, however, they were surprised to see a human standing guard in the cats’ cavern lair-- a human in robes, wreathed in flame.

“Some kind o’ sorcerer?” suggested Wulf.

“Whatever he is, he’s about to taste boot leather,” Keldas boasted.

Wulf raised an eyebrow and looked the elven mage up and down. “Reckon yer mean to say he’s about to taste silk slipper, don’t yer?” 

Dorn chuckled.

“I knew you were going to chap my ass about these _slippers of spider climbing_ when I picked them up,” Keldas grumbled. “I should have known better…”

“Aye, that yer shoulda.” Wulf agreed. He rolled out the portable hole and lifted Karak’s _helm of teleportation_ off his head, handing it to Dorn. “But yer can make good in a second here. Yer ready?”

Dorn nodded. “Get in the hole, paladin.” 

“Why is it always me who has to go in the hole?” Karak complained.

“Cause yer over six feet tall an’ fourteen stone an’ yer wearin’ full plate. Yer weigh a ferkin’ ton, jackass.”

Dorn nodded in agreement. “I’d rather have Wulf out here with me anyway. Quit bein’ a Nervous Nancy and get in the hole.”

Alliane patiently beckoned Karak into the hole alongside her, and he grudingly hopped in once again. Keldas cast _mass haste_, and Wulf quickly rolled up the hole and tucked it into his belt. He nodded to Dorn and stepped close, with Keldas on the other side. 

“Ready!”

Dorn activated the helm and they _teleported_ through. Keldas acted first-- as he always seemed to do-- and cast _Power Word, Stun_ on the flaming sorcerer. “Say goodnight,” he chuckled smugly.

Much to everyone’s surprise the spell had no effect. “Spell resistance!” Keldas shouted.

Dorn was unimpressed and started casting. Wulf thought he recognized a _flame strike_ on the way, and while their enemies were busy with that, he stepped to one side and unrolled the hole, reaching in to boost the lady Alliane out of the extra-dimensional space. Wulf ignored the flash of flame and the back-blast of hot air, but looked up as the sound of Dorn’s swearing overpowered the roaring column of fire.

“I didn’t get him, neither…” he grumbled. The sorcerer was unscathed. But Dorn’s _flame strike_ had certainly gotten the attention of the steel predators. Wulf wasn’t sure, but beneath the fresh black scorch marks he thought he saw the signs of wounds inflicted on their last encounter. 

_This might be easier than I expected,_ he thought, just before the predators charged the group and disabused him of _that_ notion. The huge predator, the one Wulf reckoned was their den mother, bore down on him like a steam drill before screeching to a halt in front of him. She almost seemed to grin as she gingerly reached down and used her teeth to pick up the _portable hole_-- with Karak still in it.

“Oh, yer sneaky bit---“ Wulf started to say, just before one of the smaller predators slammed into him. He just had time to draw his bone dagger before the thing pulled him close and started raking away at his tender bits.

Keldas stepped away from the fray and summoned a dire bear to help Wulf. The bear reared up and slammed its bulk down on the predator that was grappling with Wulf.

“Right,” Wulf grunted. “Ferkit, why doesn’t everybody just pile on…”

The sorcerer at the end of the room finally acted. Keldas recognized the incoming spell with perfect clarity--  it was a _feeblemind_ aimed at Dorn!-- and reacted with blazing speed to counterspell it, but to no avail. The sorcerer’s magic was more than Keldas could overcome.

Dorn shook his head, though, and his eyes were still clear. “No problem, no problem, I’m fine…”

The sorcerer responded to this by sending a _lightning bolt_ screaming down the cavern. The blast caught everyone--  especially Wulf, who was buried under a mountain of bear-flesh and steel claws and unable to dodge out of the way. _Right… Another two or three of those and I’m in trouble..._

Dorn cast two _flame strikes_ onto the predators, while Wulf stabbed away at his own opponent, plunging the dagger into it two or three times and trying to force his way out of its grip. It was no use. He was caught, and the predator ripped into him again with teeth and claws. 

Two more lightning bolts thundered through Wulf. _I’m in trouble._

Alliane pitched in with a _flame strike_ to get the den mother’s attention. It seemed to work--  the predator dropped the crumpled _portable hole_ onto the ground and leaned forward to grab Dorn in her jaws. Dorn had been in this situation before and he knew he had no chance of breaking free. He activated the helm and _teleported_ over to Wulf. Stretching his hand into the mass of grappling bodies, he cast _heal_ on Wulf, who immediately felt like a new man. Wulf stabbed and struggled free of the press and took up a defensive stance next to Dorn. 

“Thanks, mate.”

Alliane cast a _divine storm_ and centered it right on the den mother. Now she _really_ had its attention. The huge predator grabbed Alliane in its jaws, clearly intent on hoisting her through her own _divine storm_. Alliane lost concentration and the whirling blades winked out. 

Disappointed, the huge predator bit Alliane clean in half and tossed aside her remains with a shake of its head.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

There you go. An update, and an unexpected death, to boot.

I assume the check is in the mail?


----------



## Jeremy

Now that had to make the den mother an unpopular character just about then...


----------



## Morrow

Poor Alliane, she can't ever catch a break.   Dorn is one bad mother.  It makes you wonder how Wulf got along before he had another dwarf in the party to watch his back.  Oh yah, he had Halma.  Never mind.

The promo copy of Heroes of High Favor caught up with me the other day.  (With my usual timing I moved out the day before it arrived.  Took a while to get it from my old roommates.)  Boy, its jam packed with dwarven goodness.  Its enough to make any player consider playing a dwarf.  The Tunnel Fighter and the Battlerager were particularly cool, and you've made me look at the craft skills in a new light.  The only thing I felt it was missing was a few example dwarven gods.  DMs aren't always interested in developing non-human pantheons and a player can always use a tool for pushing his DM in the right direction.  Having seen Dwarves I'll be sure to pick up Half-Orcs.  Here's hoping that Halflings is next on the list, I want to see the Lowsy-No-Good prestige class, the Stinking-Lying prestige class, and their ilk.

Morrow


----------



## Krellic

Back to the meat-grinder - ouch poor Aliane.  I've picked up Heroes of High Favour Dwarves and it's good stuff, shame there's some excellent competition out there to distract folks.  Still I'm looking forward to the half-orc book if it's of the same quality...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Krellic said:
			
		

> *I'm looking forward to the half-orc book if it's of the same quality...*




I'm starting to think it's better, actually. The writing is weirder and wilder, Andy's illustrations are even better, and to wrap it all up, Brad did a super job on the cover.


Wulf


----------



## Horacio

Even better? Wulf, if I didn't know you I wouldn't believe it...


----------



## paulewaug

ouch that had to hurt!

So that must be the controversial incident involving the
 "grappled uncanny dodge bonus, Not!"
 eh?!

I have to say I am getting concerned about Wulf's health!
That seemed pretty close, and of course it's not over yet!

Not to put pressure on wulf but he _can't die_  an untimely death, he has to survive to the end of the game/campaign.
  Also I still miss Halma...I like Shorty but where was he?
But then worrying about getting killed can dampen your fun...The Most fun we had recently was a crazed battle where a certain 2 of or characters didn't care if they died or not.
One of them even succeeded!

I am excited about these new books of yours!

Also, if Keldas finds those _slippers of spider climbing_  are 'chapping his ass' maybe he is wearing them wrong.
Wulf should point out they go on his feet!! 

Keep up the great work!  keep em coming!!


----------



## Plane Sailing

Excellent update, thanks Wulf!

Didn't dinkledog give you a cover bonus on your save vs lightning, what with being buried under a steel predator and a dire bear? What a RBDM


----------



## Gumby

I always feel bad when Alliane gets hurt or killed.  She's always seemed like a graceful, innocent follower, who always gets yanked into terrible danger by people who she should know better than to trust.

That, and my mental picture of her is of a hot female elf.  Such a waste.

...She is _hot,_ right?


----------



## Dinkeldog

In what's sure to spark board wars, I went the opposite way.  In a grapple, a player loses their dex bonus to outside influences.  What with being held by a steel predator who wanted everybody to get caught by the lightning bolt, it didn't seem unfair to deny reflex saves.  

After discussing it, in the future, we'll go with a spot check to notice something is coming in from outside.  Wulf will probably never succomb to another of those again.     At least until the preds go the extra step and pin him.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

paulewaug said:
			
		

> *Not to put pressure on wulf but he can't die  an untimely death, he has to survive to the end of the game/campaign.*




I'd like to survive it, too-- or at least make sure it means something when I go. I'm doing what I can there but, hey, we're talking about a RBDM here.



> [/b]  Also I still miss Halma...I like Shorty but where was he?[/B]




I can't remember the last time ALL of the characters were present for a game. We always seem to either be down Shorty (which means no big whammy) or Dorn (which means no big healing.... err, and no big whammy, either, come to think of it.)



			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Didn't dinkledog give you a cover bonus on your save vs lightning, what with being buried under a steel predator and a dire bear? What a RBDM  *




I didn't complain at the time, it was a reasonable ruling. Afterwards I decided that, at least in my own game, players will always get saving throws. Even when they're helpless. If I was inclined to deny any part of the equation, it would be the _evasion_. That might not kick off, but at least the basic save should represent a hefty portion of heroic luck; ie, half damage if you're lucky.



			
				Gumby said:
			
		

> *I always feel bad when Alliane gets hurt or killed.  She's always seemed like a graceful, innocent follower, who always gets yanked into terrible danger by people who she should know better than to trust.*




That's remarkably insightful. I think that I will steal it lock-stock-and-barrel for the next update. 



> *That, and my mental picture of her is of a hot female elf.  ...She is hot, right? *




Hmm. Right. Myself, I reckon she's the spittin' image of her cousin: haughty, horse-faced, and androgynous, like all them elves. Can't tell 'em apart, all look the same to me, so if I get lonely and start to miss her in the night, I can always throw a leg over Keldas.

There, yer feel better now?


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *In what's sure to spark board wars, I went the opposite way.  In a grapple, a player loses their dex bonus to outside influences. *




So no DEX bonus and thus no Reflex save for the bad guys when they are flat-footed?

So if the caster is faster on initiative or he's invisible, they're screwed.

Interesting...

FWIW I can see your point on this one, but I think your rationale there is a bit screwy. 

Lately I have had a tendency to argue with you at the table a lot more (I was pretty good about this in the early days but I have been pretty bad lately) but this is a perfect example of where I'm usually coming from. It's not the rulings that confound me at times, it's where you're coming from on them. I just like the underpinnings of the rules to be rock-solid. 

I am sure you don't mean to say that someone who is denied their DEX bonus doesn't get a Reflex save. I would take a look over the condition summary in the DMG and figure out exactly which ones should deny a save. Personally I'd start at "helpless." Even "pinned" characters aren't completely helpless (you can't coup de grace a pinned character, for example).

And as I said above, I think it's more appropriate to deny evasion than to deny the entire saving throw... 


Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

That's an interesting point there Wulf



> I would take a look over the condition summary in the DMG and figure out exactly which ones should deny a save. Personally I'd start at "helpless." Even "pinned" characters aren't completely helpless (you can't coup de grace a pinned character, for example).




I'd not thought about it before, but I guess it would be reasonable to deny a reflex saving throw to anyone that could be subject to a coup-de-grace. Someone who is magically "held" or paralysed? certainly. Someone who is tied to a tree? probably.

Maybe the appropriate consideration is whether their Dex is effectively 0, and nobody can make a reflex save if their dex is effectively 0?

Denying evasion in a grapple I can understand:



> _From the SRD_
> As with a Reflex save for any creature, a character must have room to move in order to evade. A bound character or one in a completely restrictive area (crawling through a 2 1/2-foot-wide shaft, for example) cannot use evasion.
> 
> As with a Reflex save for any creature, evasion is a reflexive ability. The character need not know that the attack is coming to use evasion.




While grappled, certainly while pinned, a character could be reasonably considered to not have the room needed to move enough.

(n.b. I only brought the subject up because I had the mental picture of a 4ft dwarf buried under two Huge beasts, with barely any of him sticking out )


----------



## Squire James

Wulf had plausible "hard cover" (in fact, better "hard cover" than a wall!) he should have been allowed the chance to hide behind, as represented by a Reflex save WITH evasion.  If he were pinned, I'd STILL grant the save (he still has lightning-immune cover) though I'd disallow Evasion.

I should note I am VERY reluctant to deny someone a Reflex save, because there are literally zero cases I can think of where someone might be denied a Fortitude or Will save.  So why should Reflex be any different?


----------



## drunkadelic

Squire James said:
			
		

> *I should note I am VERY reluctant to deny someone a Reflex save, because there are literally zero cases I can think of where someone might be denied a Fortitude or Will save.  So why should Reflex be any different? *




Wow that's a really good point, Squire! You've certainly changed my mind about the matter. If the saves are supposed to be balanced, why nerf Reflex? Personally, from now on unless there is a condition that reduces the related score to zero (like being _held_) I'm going to allow my characters saves all the time.

Although I see Dinkeldog's rationale. I'm a terribly visual mechanics-driven person myself.

But the balance issue is what brought me around, i guess.

Anyways, great update!


----------



## Gumby

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> Hmm. Right. Myself, I reckon she's the spittin' image of her cousin: haughty, horse-faced, and androgynous, like all them elves. Can't tell 'em apart, all look the same to me, so if I get lonely and start to miss her in the night, I can always throw a leg over Keldas.
> 
> There, yer feel better now?
> Wulf *




Oh, _profoundly_ so.  Thanks.


----------



## paulewaug

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hmm. Right. Myself, I reckon she's the spittin' image of her cousin: haughty, horse-faced, and androgynous, like all them elves. Can't tell 'em apart, all look the same to me, so if I get lonely and start to miss her in the night, I can always throw a leg over Keldas.
> 
> There, yer feel better now?
> 
> 
> Wulf *




:LOL
oh my... that is too funny! I really did laugh out loud!
What a picture!!

Also,
     I have been teasing the elf players in our group about their elves not just being androgynous but of actually being hermaphrodites!!!
hehe

although I must admit that I always imagined her as being kinda hot too..
at least pretty anyhow..ya know- for an elf 


edit to say: wow that is a very quotable statment, the same one quoted twice in a row!  keep  up the good work!


----------



## Jeremy

"Gone Fishing for an Update..."

<tosses his premium tankard lure over the side with the guaranteed to work on drow or dwarves adamantine sinker...>


----------



## Dinkeldog

Whee!  Another rules argument while we're waiting for Wulf to get back to work. 

He was grappling with a creature that is immune to electricity pretty much because his resistance is ~0  (as opposed to say a blue dragon who is immune, but probably because his resistance approaches infinity).  The steel predator holding him would actually enjoy having the electricity dance through him and right into the one he was holding.  No cover bonus there.  Grappling a blue dragon, I'd probably go the cover bonus (unless pinned), but not in this case.

Places where will saves should probably be disallowed:  sleeping (except for dream-affecting spells), comatose, insane (or Wis = 0).  So if you can find a sleeping enemy, I'd probably give up a domination, charm, or most other will saves automatically, especially if things aren't becoming violent.

Places where fort saves should probably be disallowed:  that's a bit harder.  I'd look at things on a case-by-case basis, I guess.



			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *That's an interesting point there Wulf
> 
> 
> 
> I'd not thought about it before, but I guess it would be reasonable to deny a reflex saving throw to anyone that could be subject to a coup-de-grace. Someone who is magically "held" or paralysed? certainly. Someone who is tied to a tree? probably.
> 
> Maybe the appropriate consideration is whether their Dex is effectively 0, and nobody can make a reflex save if their dex is effectively 0?
> 
> Denying evasion in a grapple I can understand:
> 
> 
> 
> While grappled, certainly while pinned, a character could be reasonably considered to not have the room needed to move enough.
> 
> (n.b. I only brought the subject up because I had the mental picture of a 4ft dwarf buried under two Huge beasts, with barely any of him sticking out ) *


----------



## Halma

*Brutal Seething Surge*



			
				Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *Whee!  Another rules argument while we're waiting for Wulf to get back to work.
> 
> He was grappling with a creature that is immune to electricity pretty much because his resistance is ~0  (as opposed to say a blue dragon who is immune, but probably because his resistance approaches infinity).  The steel predator holding him would actually enjoy having the electricity dance through him and right into the one he was holding.  No cover bonus there.  Grappling a blue dragon, I'd probably go the cover bonus (unless pinned), but not in this case.
> 
> Places where will saves should probably be disallowed:  sleeping (except for dream-affecting spells), comatose, insane (or Wis = 0).  So if you can find a sleeping enemy, I'd probably give up a domination, charm, or most other will saves automatically, especially if things aren't becoming violent.
> 
> Places where fort saves should probably be disallowed:  that's a bit harder.  I'd look at things on a case-by-case basis, I guess.
> 
> *




http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20544 

Hey Dink and any others that are interested, I put a Thread up arguing the Brutal Seething Surge's impact on our game.  I wouldn't mind your input into this as well.... Is it broken?

Halma "the Dead Barbarian"


----------



## JacktheRabbit

One thought comes to mind as a possible problem. If you are going to get all technical and not allow a save because the creature conducts electricity then how would you know that a bolt that hits the cat in the ass will even make it to Wulf? It could just as likely enter the cat and then ground itself through the cats back legs long before it gets to our heroic dwarf pinned in the front.

Now if the cat has all four legs on Wulf due to a sucessful rake attack then I cna agree that Wulf is going to get to eat the bolt no matter what.




			
				Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *Whee!  Another rules argument while we're waiting for Wulf to get back to work.
> 
> He was grappling with a creature that is immune to electricity pretty much because his resistance is ~0  (as opposed to say a blue dragon who is immune, but probably because his resistance approaches infinity).  The steel predator holding him would actually enjoy having the electricity dance through him and right into the one he was holding.  No cover bonus there.  Grappling a blue dragon, I'd probably go the cover bonus (unless pinned), but not in this case.
> 
> Places where will saves should probably be disallowed:  sleeping (except for dream-affecting spells), comatose, insane (or Wis = 0).  So if you can find a sleeping enemy, I'd probably give up a domination, charm, or most other will saves automatically, especially if things aren't becoming violent.
> 
> Places where fort saves should probably be disallowed:  that's a bit harder.  I'd look at things on a case-by-case basis, I guess.
> 
> *


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Places where I would disallow a saving throw:

Reflex: Never
Fort: Never
Will: Never

(Evasion is another story.)

Just wanted to say thanks to those of you who came up to say hi to me at GenCon... sorry if I was not my usual ebullient self, I had a lot on my mind including having to miss the last two days of GenCon... 

Just pretend I was "in character." 

I will take my notes with me while I am travelling on business this week but I make no promises.


Wulf


----------



## Squire James

I guess me and Dinkeldog's gonna have to "agree to disagree" until WotC comes up with some official word regarding if Steel Predators should be considered "live wires" or "surge protectors" (I see a valid argument either way).  I guess SP's and Iron Golems should have had an "ohms" statistic somewhere...


----------



## Dinkeldog

Yes, but you're free-wheeling at giving walking fireballs...er, rogues...sneak attacks.



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Places where I would disallow a saving throw:
> 
> Reflex: Never
> Fort: Never
> Will: Never
> 
> (Evasion is another story.)
> 
> Just wanted to say thanks to those of you who came up to say hi to me at GenCon... sorry if I was not my usual ebullient self, I had a lot on my mind including having to miss the last two days of GenCon...
> 
> Just pretend I was "in character."
> 
> I will take my notes with me while I am travelling on business this week but I make no promises.
> 
> 
> Wulf *


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Places where I would disallow a saving throw:
> 
> Reflex: Never
> Fort: Never
> Will: Never
> *




I'm rather curious - how would you see someone paralysed by a Hold spell making a Reflex ST? Would you give them a -5 for having a temporary Dex of 0, and assume that it reflects how lucky they are?


----------



## Dinkeldog

Squire James said:
			
		

> *I guess me and Dinkeldog's gonna have to "agree to disagree" until WotC comes up with some official word regarding if Steel Predators should be considered "live wires" or "surge protectors" (I see a valid argument either way).  I guess SP's and Iron Golems should have had an "ohms" statistic somewhere... *




Which ones are made of metal?


----------



## Dinkeldog

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *One thought comes to mind as a possible problem. If you are going to get all technical and not allow a save because the creature conducts electricity then how would you know that a bolt that hits the cat in the ass will even make it to Wulf? It could just as likely enter the cat and then ground itself through the cats back legs long before it gets to our heroic dwarf pinned in the front.
> 
> Now if the cat has all four legs on Wulf due to a sucessful rake attack then I cna agree that Wulf is going to get to eat the bolt no matter what.
> 
> 
> *




By that reasoning, Doc, any lightning bolt would be grounded immediately upon striking the first target.


----------



## Horacio

Hey, guys, I think you're forgetting the 'magic' factor in this spell. It's not a true lightning bolt, it's a magic one!

Magic electricity hasn't to work like mundane one, has it?


----------



## el-remmen

Hey!  I want to read this story hour but going to where the story hours are hostedI found no PDF or .doc verson of this infamous epic!!!!

Does an easily printable version exist somewhere so I can have something to do on my commute?


----------



## Horacio

True men (and women) read Wulf's thread here, no wimpy pdf for the mighty dwarf!


----------



## JacktheRabbit

If that is the case then its hard to aruge that you get no save because you are grappling with a steel monster. That is real world talking not magic.




			
				Horacio said:
			
		

> *Hey, guys, I think you're forgetting the 'magic' factor in this spell. It's not a true lightning bolt, it's a magic one!
> 
> Magic electricity hasn't to work like mundane one, has it? *


----------



## Dinkeldog

You mean grappling with a steel monster that doesn't care if it gets hit and wants you to?


----------



## Kid Charlemagne

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *You mean grappling with a steel monster that doesn't care if it gets hit and wants you to? *




True, but unless the person is totally pinned and helpless, I think the person grappled should be able to fend off some attacks.  BTW the definition of helpless indicates Dex treated as 0, but no mention of forfeiting saving throws.  I personally wouldn't deny someone a saving throw unless the rules specifically dictate that they should not get one.  There is no condition in the SRD Condition Summary that involves a character forfeiting a saving throw they would ordinarily get.


----------



## Squire James

When electricity hits a grounded metal object (which, unless Wulf was holding a SP entirely off the ground, was the case), it goes through the object and "grounds out".  True, a good bit of it goes into Wulf (ie:  deny Evasion, he took damage).  However, there's a decent chance NOT ALL of it went into Wulf, and a Reflex save is the best measure of such luck I can think of.  The desires of the conductor have nothing to do with it.

Now, if those Steel Predators has insulating booties on their feet, I can see it happening the way Dinkeldog explained it.  That is, if the SP's weren't touching the ground with anything but their feet.  The electricity would then ground out entirely through Wulf, and thus he takes it all.  They'd have to be declawed, though, because otherwise the rubber booties get shredded real quickly!

Of course, the Lightning Bolt spell doesn't seem to work like real-world lightning (ie: it progresses past/through metal objects to the limit of its range).  In this case, I assert the SP's don't conduct it (otherwise it WOULD stop), and the issue is whether Wulf wiggled out of its way somehow.  In my game, this would be a Reflex save, with Evasion enabled, and the target loses his Dex bonus to the save due to being grappled.


----------



## RatPunk

*Hey Nemmerle!!*



			
				nemmerle said:
			
		

> *Hey!  I want to read this story hour but going to where the story hours are hostedI found no PDF or .doc verson of this infamous epic!!!!
> 
> Does an easily printable version exist somewhere so I can have something to do on my commute? *





[Shameless Plug]

I don't know how easily printable it is (a simple cut & paste should work), but you can read the entire story so far without all the chatter at our website. All there with Wulf's kind permission, of course.

Actually, it's missing the last update, I think, but that's only a matter of time.

Just go to www.rat-bastards.com, click on our logo to get in and Wulf's link is top center on our menu bar.

[/Shameless Plug]


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Kid Charlemagne said:
			
		

> *There is no condition in the SRD Condition Summary that involves a character forfeiting a saving throw they would ordinarily get. *




That's pretty much my view. I don't believe in reinventing the rules of a fantasy game because they don't adequately reflect "realism."

Play the rules as written.


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *"Gone Fishing for an Update..."
> 
> <tosses his premium tankard lure over the side with the guaranteed to work on drow or dwarves adamantine sinker...> *




<whistles and puts his feet up waiting for a bite>


----------



## Nail

It's a mistake to use "how it really works" subjectively in RPGs.  

In the "Wulf-grappled-by-a-SP" example, "how lightning really works" directly conflicts with "Wulf gets no save, 'cause he's pinned".   

Wanna example?  If you are in your car, and effectively "pinned" (_but not "helpless"_) by your seat beat, you do get a "save" versus a lightning bolt hitting the car and damaging you.  That is: sometimes people do get hurt, sometimes they don't.  Even given all of the metal in a car conducting all of that electricity, or conversely, even with all of that insulating material between you and the lightning bolt.  Some people die, some people get thru without so much as a singed hair.  Go figure.

In th' Wulf example, you can't apply "reality" to only part of what happens:  "Wulf gets no save 'cause he's pinned"  and then neglect the other part: "Metalic objects may not necessarily conduct electricity *into* a pinned Wulf".   (Pinned does not equal helpless.)

An' let's be honest: Most of us are not experts on whatever part of "*But It Really Works That Way!*" we're arguing about.

DMs: Stick wit' th' rules.  Jus' suck it up.  Players have t'do it all th' time.


----------



## Dinkeldog

Well, the good news is there's only one more module to go to and I get to retire.

Rule 0 will no longer apply.


----------



## ForceUser

No epic Wulf, eh?


----------



## Marauder

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I'm rather curious - how would you see someone paralysed by a Hold spell making a Reflex ST? Would you give them a -5 for having a temporary Dex of 0, and assume that it reflects how lucky they are? *




That's how I would do it. A -5 penalty on top of a PC losing their bonus for Dex makes it very difficult for them to pass a DC 20 save anyway.

By making it 'no save', you also invalidate the effects of Cloaks of Resistance. Just because you're pinned, items like this suddenly stop working? That doesn't seem reasonable to me.

Simple way would be to allow a Saving Throw equal to Base Reflex Save, -5 for Dex 0, plus any modifiers from Cloaks of Resistance etc. The chances of success are small, but they're there. It's just luck, fate, or what have you.


----------



## Dinkeldog

ForceUser said:
			
		

> *No epic Wulf, eh? *




Not with me DMing.

Maybe Korak or Halma/Shorty will take the helm.


----------



## Ancalagon

Good work as always.

A different rule topic?  Are those steel animals imune to criticals?  If not, Wulf should be getting sneak attack goodness against them if they are grapling (and he isn't pined).

Ancalagon


----------



## Immort

Wait a sec here.  I know that runnin' the table can be a SERIOUS grind.  Runnin' a table fer a LONG time kin really beat the snot outta ya.  But no epic Wulf!?!?  Fer the love of god man!!  Take a break, kick back fer a bit, dice jockey it up fer a few months, but don't curdle up and die on us.  After a bit of rest, no strain from the table on ya, yer gunna feel just fine.  Don't walk away from it all.  Leave us some hope here.

-Immort


----------



## Metus

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *
> Not with me DMing.
> 
> Maybe Korak or Halma/Shorty will take the helm. *




Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaaa.  Let's not talk crazy talk here.  The Wulf saga has to continue.  It *needs* to continue!

Speaking of which, next update please!


----------



## blargney

Nail said:
			
		

> *Wanna example?  If you are in your car, you do get a "save" versus a lightning bolt hitting the car and damaging you.*




Actually it's more like an immunity, no save is required.  Check out "Faraday cage" on Google.



> *An' let's be honest: Most of us are not experts on whatever part of "But It Really Works That Way!" we're arguing about.*




This is a really good point.  Nobody knows everything anymore.
-blarg


----------



## Horacio

We need an epic Wulf, you know. WE NEED IT!


----------



## Dinkeldog

Unless he's the one grappled, he has been.



			
				Ancalagon said:
			
		

> *Good work as always.
> 
> A different rule topic?  Are those steel animals imune to criticals?  If not, Wulf should be getting sneak attack goodness against them if they are grapling (and he isn't pined).
> 
> Ancalagon *


----------



## Gumby

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Not with me DMing.
> *




You know, any DM that can kill his players *that* often, and still have them coming back for more, has got to be a pretty damn good one.  Give it a rest for a while, until you can come up with a good home-brewed adventure or two that uses the characters.  That's what I've been doing lately, perusing the ELH and occasionally thinking to myself, "MAN, that's too good to not torture my best friends with."  I've got a good plot already planned, and lots and lots of nasty things up my sleeve.  Plus derring-do, high cinematics, PC rewards, and a happy ending, as long as everybody makes their fort saves.

Take a look at the ELH, and think to yourself, "Hmm.  Paragon Desmodus."

C'mon, Dinkeldog.  Say it with me.

"Paragon desmodus."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Ancalagon said:
			
		

> *A different rule topic?  Are those steel animals imune to criticals?  If not, Wulf should be getting sneak attack goodness against them if they are grapling (and he isn't pinned).*




You don't lose your DEX bonus to creatures you are grappling with. You DO lose your DEX bonus to creatures outside your grapple. (Unless you take -20 penalty to your grapple roll, which dinkeldog always forgets to do.  )

I am always very happy when the steel preds grapple someone next to me, cause then I can really F' em up. (No, they are not immune to crits-- at least not so far they haven't been...)

By the way, I don't really have any interest in epic either, to be honest. I hear Goat Boy calling...

Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Gumby said:
			
		

> *You know, any DM that can kill his players that often, and still have them coming back for more, has got to be a pretty damn good one. *




Yeah, he is-- even though by his own admission he gets a little competitive at times. 

But then, we do tend to egg him on. 



> *Take a look at the ELH, and think to yourself, "Hmm.  Paragon Desmodus."*




Oi! They can't use Paragon! That's _my_ prestige class title! Those bastards!

I would be pleased if Keldas took over DMing, especially RttToEE. He has a very laid back hack and slash style, perfect for that module I think. And, I haven't ever played on the same side of the table as dinkeldog. I think it would be... ehh, _interesting._

Shubba the Goat Boy 
(get used to it!)


----------



## Jeremy

Shubba?  The.. goat..  boy?

*click*  <channel surfs for an update>


----------



## Nail

Immort said:
			
		

> *Wait a sec here.  ...<snip>... Don't walk away from it all.  Leave us some hope here.*




<points at Immort>

Yeah, what _he_ said!

'Dog, yer not taking my rule-whinin' personally, are you?  You think the rest of us haven't made bone-head.....err, questionable rule calls too?  Heck, even P-kitty does, and he's a _*Super-DM*_.


----------



## LightPhoenix

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> Oi! They can't use Paragon! That's my prestige class title! Those bastards!
> *




Breathe easy, Paragon is a template...


----------



## Dinkeldog

Nail, I'm really psyched about doing Bastion.  There's nothing to do after that, though.  If I get a grand idea, I'll propose to the group, but we've got other things we want to do as a group.  There's Kheldas' game and RttToEE on the docket.  I'm sure everyone will hold onto their character sheets if something comes up and we want a break from the meatgrinder that those both are.


----------



## Immort

See, that's all I'm askin'.  Just a little bit o' hope.  Do a year of somethin' else wit someone else DM'n and yer gonna git that itch ta do things "the right way".  One too many rules calls that itch yer sack, one too many times when yer thinkin' "_I'd have done that differently . . . and better_" and next thing yer knows, you'll be makin' notes of ideas on scraps of paper, lookin' at the new epic modules that come out, and WHAMMO you'll be nukin' pc's all over again . . . *epically*!

Heh.




> And, I haven't ever played on the same side of the table as dinkeldog. I think it would be... ehh, interesting.




Gumby said sumptin' kinda like that a while back.  Said he wanted ta try tossin' dice with me 'stead of against me.  Be on the same side and all.  Well Jordan stepped up ta the "Sadist's Screen" so he finally got his wish.  We'll have ta let ya know how it goes.

-Immort


----------



## paulewaug

LOL



			
				Immort said:
			
		

> *  One too many rules calls that itch yer sack,
> 
> stepped up ta the "Sadist's Screen"
> -Immort *




hehe two very good things to quote there Immort!

Good ones!  hehe 

Well personally I am Not a fan of Epic level play,
 However I Am a fan of Wulf and I shudder at the thought of not being able to read his adventures.

But! If there ever was a character to play at Epic levels it would be the truly Epic Wulf Ratbane!

And dinkledog has you guys in the only place that, to me, makes sense to have epic characters.  Out amongst the Planes! 

although I kinda think that Wulf found dead in a hotel room on the crapper is the way it should go down! 
Hail to the king, baby!


----------



## DMRob

Long time reader, first time poster.  

After reading through the entire story in one sitting, and telling my players about it, and their readings of it, I can say Wulf is now the most paraphrased and quoted thing at our table.  Shouts of "I hit the (blank), I hit the (Blank)", and cries about things needing a taste of the old bootleather abound.  I just have to say, it is great reading, Wulf is the most memorable character I can think of, and one of the most quotable.  Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

As a side note, you havent read anything by a Richard Marcinko, have you Wulf?  His attitude and personality, and Wulfs seem to be quite close.

oh, btw.  BUMP

DMRob


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DMRob said:
			
		

> *As a side note, you havent read anything by a Richard Marcinko, have you Wulf?  His attitude and personality, and Wulfs seem to be quite close.*




At first I was going to say, "Huh? Who?" and then it hit me.

Seal Team Six or something, right? I have read him, but I can't say there was any deliberate influence there. But it is an amazing similarity. 

I think Dick's underlying morals are a lot more noble than Wulf's.



Wulf


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Oh I dont know Ben.

Dick truly is a dick, an incredibly arrogant thinks he is God dick. He holds nothing at all to good old Wulf.





			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> At first I was going to say, "Huh? Who?" and then it hit me.
> 
> Seal Team Six or something, right? I have read him, but I can't say there was any deliberate influence there. But it is an amazing similarity.
> 
> I think Dick's underlying morals are a lot more noble than Wulf's.
> 
> 
> 
> Wulf *


----------



## Piratecat

Ahem. Eric  and Morrus' grandmas are reading, remember?


----------



## JacktheRabbit

What?

Its the man's name after all. 

BTW, shouldnt you be busy writing a story hour right now?




			
				Piratecat said:
			
		

> *Ahem. Eric  and Morrus' grandmas are reading, remember? *


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *Dick truly is... incredibly arrogant... thinks he is God... He holds nothing at all to good old Wulf. *




And this differs from Wulf... how?


Wulf


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Well at least Wulf admits to it and is probably the first to tell you that not only does his you know what stinks but that it probably stinks worse than most peoples.

Marcinko on the other hand is a walking ego balloon. The man writes fiction with himself as the super spy main character. If that is not overinflated ego then I don't know what is.




			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> And this differs from Wulf... how?
> 
> 
> Wulf *


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *The man writes fiction with himself as the super spy main character. If that is not overinflated ego then I don't know what is. *




Err... and this differs from me... how?

EDIT: Nevermind, I figured it out. The difference is, Marcinko's expert-level ranks in Hide and Move Silently actually friggin' _work_.


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy

LOL


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*

One of the smaller predators leapt on Wulf again, pinning him to the ground. Thanks to Dorn, Wulf wasn’t in any great danger, and he didn’t even flinch when Keldas burped up an _acid breath_ over his predator and the den mother.

Satisfied that Wulf could take care of himself, Dorn whipped out his _carpet of flying_ and zipped off to the back of the cave to deal with the sorcerer-- one good whack with _Syrius_ and a promise of more where that came from. The melee was a mess, good guys and bad guys mixing it up all over the cave. Wulf was actually pretty happy to be pinned under one of the smaller predators.

The den mother ordered one of its minions to attack Keldas, but its jaws closed around a _mirror image_ and Keldas was unscathed. The den mother responded by roaring at Keldas, who counted himself fortunate not to be deafened by the sonic blast despite the fact that his guts felt like they’d been scrambled with an egg-beater. Keldas stepped back and fired two _bolts of conjuring_ at the smaller predator, finally finishing it off.

Dorn had backed the sorcerer up with his great-axe, but he was having trouble slicing through all the magical protections. He cast a _dispel magic_ onto the sorcerer with limited success-- he couldn’t tell what he’d dispelled, but apparently it was enough that the sorcerer cried out for help. The huge den mother turned and dashed to the back of the cave to deal with Dorn.

As the huge predator turned, it finally dropped the _portable hole_. Keldas reached down and unrolled the hole with one hand, while simultaneously casting a _greater dispelling_ on the sorcerer. Protective spells melted away just in time for Karak to come bounding out of the hole.

“Glad yer finally decided to join the party…” Wulf muttered from beneath the snapping jaws of his predator opponent. 

Karak took only the briefest of moments to size up the situation before charging the sorcerer, smiting him full force. The sorcerer was sorely wounded but scoffed arrogantly. 

“Sorry to leave you,” he said. “One haste, one teleport, and we’ll meet some other time.” He stepped back from Karak and began to re-cast his _haste_ spell.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Keldas whispered. There was menace in his monotone. The sorcerer’s _haste_ spell fizzled as Keldas reacted to counter-spell it. There would be no _teleport_ follow-up, either: Dorn stepped up and in two strokes had seperated the sorcerer into three parts.

They weren’t out of the water yet, unfortunately; there were still two predators left, including the big one. Keldas saw Wulf still struggling with his and shouted out, “Wulf, you know I can’t do this!”

“What the hell are yer talking abou—“ Wulf began, as a _fireball_ exploded around his ears. If it was an illusion, it was a damn painful one, and the predator seemed to think so, too. Wulf put a boot against its chest and popped himself free of its clutches. He rolled to his feet with his weapons ready, slashed the thing four or five times, and finally dropped it in a heap on the ground.

Dorn and Karak had teamed up on the den mother, but the thing seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of energy. Ignoring Karak, it turned and clamped its huge jaws on Dorn, engulfing him from the top down and settling its razor-sharp teeth around his waist. Wulf grimaced and turned aside, leaving a single eye open to witness a repeat of what the thing had done to Alliane. 

But Dorn was Haela’s special guy. At the last moment Dorn’s banded mail slipped through the predator’s jaws, which chomped down unsatisfactorily on Dorn’s shoulder. It was still a bad wound, but not nearly as bad as it should have been. 

“Yer lucky bastard!” Wulf cheered.

Dorn didn’t feel so lucky at the moment. The predator didn’t miss a beat, grabbing Dorn with its claws and dragging him in where its hind legs could rake him over. Wulf charged up and slammed _Taranak_ into its side. The distraction worked; Dorn managed to wriggle free, and Wulf got back-handed with another paw for his trouble. 

Wulf noticed with some concern that he, Dorn, and Karak had the creature blocked in on three sides—and unfortunately, it was he who was standing between the critter and the exit. He skipped back a few steps to give the predator room to run without having to go through him first. Sure enough, the den mother took the bait and bolted for the exit. Karak and Dorn slashed at its flanks as it fled, but it kept its feet and blasted past Wulf like a bullet train. 

_Good riddance_, Wulf thought. 

Dorn was not so easily deterred. He kicked his flying carpet into high gear and chased off after it, out of the cave, through the valley entrance, and off onto the vast iron plain of the cube, all the while calling down _flame strike_ after _flame strike_. Soon enough, he’d blasted it into oblivion. He returned, satisfied at last, to the rest of the group.

Wulf was using the tip of his boot to roll Alliane’s remains unceremoniously into the _portable hole_. Noting Keldas’ scowl, Wulf crossed himself and said a quick prayer for her soul. “Benedice, benedictus… ahh… ipso facto an’ habeus corpus…”

Wulf looked up at Dorn. “Reckon yer can bring her back tomorrow?”

Dorn shrugged. “No problem.”

“No,” Keldas said. 

“What yer mean, _No_?”

“Alliane did not wish to be brought back again. She has earned a rest: a graceful, innocent follower, always getting yanked into terrible danger by people she should know better than to trust.”

“But I _need_ her,” Wulf said. “We all need her.”

“What’s done is done,” said Keldas.

**

They grabbed the den mother’s head on their way back to the formian lair, and as soon as they were spotted by the colony, the formians raised a mighty cheer. For some reason, Wulf was in no mood for celebration; while he sulked in the back, Keldas stepped forward to lead a delegation to the formian Queen, and to handle any negotiations. 

When it was all said and done, Keldas returned to the group with a magic necklace, given as a gift from the Queen for their help against the steel predators. 

“Just great,” Wulf said. “Yer lost Alliane, but, hey, at least yer got a pretty bauble for yer trouble.”

Keldas scowled, but let it go. “Well, it allows us to see through illusions; it could be very useful.”

“What would be useful is some allies against Imperagon. How’d that go?”

Keldas frowned. “The Queen will grant us safe haven here, but assures me that if we bring trouble down on them, she’ll hand us over.”

“Mighty utilitarian of her.”

“Best she can do. So what now?”

“I don’t care, ask the Oracle over there.” Wulf nodded towards Dorn. “Or is today a Templar day?”

“Tomorrow I will commune with Haela Brightaxe. She’ll see us on our way, right enough,” said Dorn. “Start thinkin’ of questions to ask. _Serious_ questions, Wulf.”

The next day, as soon as Dorn was ready, Wulf guided him through the questions he wanted answered. _Tactical_ questions. _Strategic_ questions. _Serious_ questions. Wulf had a little over half a dozen questions written down, and figured he’d fill out the rest as the answers to the previous questions inspired him.

_ What are the names of the three blue dragons who have allied with Imperagon? _
* INDRAZAR, HUNDRAZI, KHALATAIC. *

_ Do the dragons have any allies besides Imperagon? _
* IMPERAGON’S ALLIES. *

“Ohh, that was some friggin’ useful info,” Wulf said. “Very timely, very helpful.”

As if to annoy Wulf further, Dorn deviated from Wulf’s questions:

_Is Haela happy with my work so far?_
_There was no answer, but Dorn felt a strange sensation. _ 

“Waste of a question…” Wulf said. “Yer big momma’s boy.”

“I got a warm fuzzy feelin’.” Dorn smiled.

“That so? Hell, if I’d ha’ known I could have got a mystical hummer from Haela herself, I woulda been a priest, too.” Wulf said. “Now can we get back on track?"

_ Will killing the dragons assist us against Imperagon? _ 
* YES*

_ What kind of dragon cross-breed is Imperagon? _
* RED *

_Is Verachus planning to double-cross us? _
* NO*

_ Is Imperagon making preparations specifically against us? _ 
*YES*

_ Is the hobgoblin sniper a threat to us in our crusade against Imperagon? _
* NO *

_ Is Imperagon a psionics user? _
* NO*

Karak was waving his hand wildly in the air. “Ooh! Ooh! I have a good one! Ask her what weaknesses we can exploit!”

Wulf started at him like the idiot he was. “It doesn’t work that way. Yer have to ask questions with simple answers, and besides…”

Dorn asked the question:

_ What weaknesses does Imperagon’s fortress have that we can exploit? _ 
_ There was no answer. _

Wulf shut his eyes and tried to control his temper. He found it easier if he just reminded himself that he was surrounded by fools. “And _besides_, I was sayin’, the gods don’t work that way. It’s never that simple. Haela _wants_ us to throw our asses on the line, don’t yer get it? Yer think she’s just gonna roll Imperagon up in a neat package for us?”

“Keep the questions comin, then,” said Dorn. “If ya slow down, it’s no wonder the paladin’s gonna jump in.”

_ Are Imperagon’s blue dragon allies making preparations specifically against us? _ 
* YES *

_ If we wait for the dragons, will they come to us?_
* NO *

_ If we attack the dragons right now, what allies can we expect them to have? _
* STEEL CATS.*

“That’s it,” said Dorn. He was visibly drained from the communion with his goddess, but he seemed game for more-- as ever. “So?”

“Well," Wulf said, stroking his beard. "I reckon we leave now and go kick the sh-- out of some dragons.”


----------



## ForceUser

> *"That so? Hell, if I’d ha’ known I could have got a hummer from Haela herself, I woulda been a priest, too."*



Best

one-liner

*EVER*


----------



## Rune

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> “Well," Wulf said, stroking his beard. "I reckon we leave now and go kick the sh-- out of some dragons.”




Now there's somethin' you don' hear every day.


----------



## Nail

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Err... and this differs from me... how?
> 
> EDIT: Nevermind, I figured it out. The difference is, Marcinko's expert-level ranks in Hide and Move Silently actually friggin' work.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




LOL....<still trying to pick myself off th' floor from that one.....>


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *Now there's somethin' you don' hear every day. *




Makes a hell of an epitaph.


----------



## Rune

Hope that's not an indication of things to come.


----------



## Gumby

> _Keldas was quoted by Wulf as saying_
> 
> *“No,” Keldas said.
> 
> “What yer mean, No?”
> 
> “Alliane did not wish to be brought back again. She has earned a rest: a graceful, innocent follower, always getting yanked into terrible danger by people she should know better than to trust.”*




Yeah, but was she _hot?_
Did my description really get quoted in play?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Gumby said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Yeah, but was she hot?
> Did my description really get quoted in play?   *




Oh, heavens no. These notes are months old.

I just quoted you into the story hour. =)


Wulf


----------



## Gumby

I'll take it!


----------



## Dinkeldog

That's what Kheldas told you, Wulf.

What really happened () is that Alliane got raised and went to retire to a nice peaceful temple where she would no longer get feasted on by huge metal cats, dragons, demons, devils, and assorted things that even the Faithful shouldn't have to deal with on a near-daily basis.  I thought that was clearer before.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Oh, heavens no. These notes are months old.
> 
> *




Ah, so we might be getting another update soon then? Since you don't have to wait to play before the next update 

(we want Wulf-a-day back again!)

Cheers


----------



## Dawn

<“That so? Hell, if I’d ha’ known I could have got a mystical hummer from Haela herself, I woulda been a priest, too.” Wulf said. “Now can we get back on track?">

That's beautiful!!  

Is that really the banter that goes on at the table?  If so, how quick was that come-back?  I'd love it if my players were that quick all the time.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dawn said:
			
		

> *Is that really the banter that goes on at the table?  If so, how quick was that come-back?  I'd love it if my players were that quick all the time. *




Yes, sad to say, that really IS the banter that goes on at the table. I'm always quick where innuendo is concerned; I learned it from my mother. 

It gets much, much worse pretty soon.

In fact I think I may have to link parts of the story offsite in the next update or two...

EDIT: Not all the witty banter in the Story Hour is from the table; however, all the witty banter from the table does end up in the Story Hour (at least since I started taking good notes). My notes fill up about 2 pages of legal pad in a standard Sunday session. The good quotes go in the margins. 

Wulf


----------



## Dawn

Thanks Wulf!

Keep the good stuff coming!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

FYI, I am working on a HUGE update today!

Here I was thinking about where to split this up, tryin' to be stingy with the updates, and then I thought, how many times do I get a chance to tell a story like this? 

I mean, sweet humpin' himminy folks, we've got a fight with THREE DRAGONS on the way here!

And that's not even counting the accursed sand people!


Wulf


----------



## Dawn

<FYI, I am working on a HUGE update today!>

Well, looks like I might need to stay and "work" late - just so I don't miss this update.


----------



## JacktheRabbit

If this turn out to be 5 lines of text in size 72 font then we are going to be most dispeased.


----------



## LightPhoenix

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *If this turn out to be 5 lines of text in size 72 font then we are going to be most dispeased.
> 
> *




Don't give him ideas.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *If this turn out to be 5 lines of text in size 72 font then we are going to be most dispeased.
> 
> *




Three pages, heading into four... 

I'm trying to find a more politically correct way to say, "Wulf spotted the paladin dive bombing right for the young boy's crevasse."


Wulf


----------



## RatPunk

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Three pages, heading into four...
> 
> I'm trying to find a more politically correct way to say, "Wulf spotted the paladin dive bombing right for the young boy's crevasse."
> 
> 
> Wulf *




I don't know, I think that works well enough...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*

Wulf looked around. He didn’t see the unanimous approval he was hoping for.

 “Why don’t we wait a day and take some protection spells?” said Karak.

“Another day?” Wulf said. They’d already wasted a day waiting for Dorn to switch out his spells.

“_Protection from elements_ goes a long way, against dragons.” Dorn said. “I loaded up on Oracle crap today, so I don’t have as much whammy as I might like, includin’ protective stuff.”

“I’m not worried about dragon breath,” Wulf said. “ I’m too quick for ‘em. Yer got that freaky Oracle danger-sense thing goin’ on, yer never get hit neither. We know Keldas is bound to have something to protect himself, leavin’ only the assmar to worry about. If yer was _inclined_ to worry about him, which of course I’m not.”

Karak scowled at Wulf.

“Ach, I just mean yer can take care of yerself, that’s all.”

Wulf noticed Keldas and Dorn staring off into space. 

“You see that?” asked Keldas.

“Of course,” said Dorn. He looked back to Wulf and Karak. “Someone’s _scrying_ us.” 

“Aye?” Wulf said. With one hand he pulled _Taranak_ off his belt, and with the other he heaved his privates. “Get an eyeful o’ this! Hope yer usin’ yer wide-angle sensor, take in the whole show.”

“Well, as long as I’m prepared for it today, I might as well scry ‘em right back,” Dorn said. He cast his own _scrying_. “Who do I look for?”

“Pick a dragon, any dragon,” Wulf said.

“Indrazar,” Dorn said, and suddenly he could see the dragon, a full-grown adult lying in a deep crevasse at the bottom of a cave. Dorn moved the sensor around, spotting Khalataic next, another adult lying on a ledge that overlooked the cavern below. Next to Khalataic was a smaller dragon, the juvenile Hundrazi. 

Dorn recounted all this to his comrades. Somehow, looking at them and having it confirmed for sure, three dragons suddenly seemed like an awful lot to tackle. 

“Anything else? Steel cats?” Wulf said.

Dorn moved the sensor around the whole cave. He didn’t spot any steel predators, and was ready to give up, when he suddenly started. “Hang on, what’s this?”

Nearly hidden in the crevasse behind Indrazar, he spotted something. “There’s a big glass block or somethin’ in the pit… And… Lemme look closer… Hmm.”

“What? What is it?” asked Karak. He seemed agitated.

“Hmm. There’s a nekkid human boy trapped in the glass.”

There was a moment of silence while they all tried to process this strange new information.

“Ferk’im,” Wulf said. “If they’re scryin’ us, they’re tipped off by now. Let’s wait till tomorrow, juice up.”

“I think we should go now,” Karak said. “The boy…”

“Boy’s on ice, he’ll keep.”

“Well,” Karak said. “It’s just…”

Wulf’s suspicions were suddenly flaring up, a really creepy feeling he hadn’t felt since the peck was around. He stepped closer to Karak. “Out with it!”

“A while back, I had a dream about this boy,” Karak said.

Dorn held up his hands. “Ach, man, I _really_ don’t need to hear this… Not now, not never.”

“In my dream, I saw a teenage boy trapped in a block of glass, with lightning arcing all around it. I stepped closer to the boy, so close I could feel the electricity.”

Wulf and Dorn were inspecting their boots and humming to themselves. 

“…and when I cast a spell at the block, I suddenly woke up.”

“Please tell me yer done,” Wulf said.

“What spell was it that you cast,” asked Keldas. Believe it or not, he seemed genuinely interested.

“I don’t know,” said Karak. “I told you, I woke up.”

“So, what, now yer sayin’ yer want to go in right now, guns blazing?”

“Yes.”

“No protections?”

“Right.”

Wulf and Dorn looked at each other, and to Keldas. Everyone seemed in agreement. Wulf rolled out the _portable hole_ for Karak--  but he had to admit to himself, he was starting to get cold feet.

“All right, just so yer all realize, this is yer own decision.”

They prepared with what spells they could--  _Bull’s Strength_ from the wand they’d found; _protection from elements_ where it could be spared, (“We got just enough to go in with, so if it gets _dispelled_, we got problems,” warned Dorn), Keldas’ usual wizard’s tricks like _mage armor_ and _shield_ and _mirror image_, and finally, _mass haste_ all around, just before Dorn _teleported_ them all through.

***

They were spot on, and as usual, Keldas was the first to open the ceremonies. Dorn had _teleported_ them onto the shelf, and Keldas took only a split second to gain his bearings before casting his first spell.

He _disintegrated_ the baby dragon.

“Well, that’s certainly got their attention,” Wulf said as he unrolled the _portable hole_ into the corner of the shelf.

Dorn proved that he wasn’t travelling _completely_ in Oracle mode that day by casting _Destruction_ on Khalataic, the adult male. Wulf had hoped to see another dragon instantly “dusted” but unfortunately, the dragon resisted; huge chunks of flesh shriveled and dropped away nevertheless, but it was clear the dragon could take plenty more.

The group was unrelenting. Despite the ominous scrying, it seemed the party had caught the dragons by surprise. While the two adults scrambled to prepare themselves with their own protective spells, Keldas cast _know protections_ on Khalataic then started summoning a dire bear. They still shared shelf-space with the male and Keldas wanted a meat shield between him and the claws, teeth, wings, and tail of the big blue.

Indrazar, the female, somehow managed to find one of the steel predators. Wulf guessed that she was _hasted_, as she flew across the cavern, scooped up a cat, then flew up to deposit it on the shelf in front of them. As if on cue, the predator bounded off to their flank and roared its sonic blast across the party-- at the same time that the male sizzled them all with its lightning breath. The lightning hit Keldas’ _energy buffer_ first and was harmlessly dissipated, but unfortunately it left him open to the sonic blast. Keldas grit his teeth and somehow managed to keep his concentration on his summoning.

Dorn decided to make the best of the situation while their enemies were all grouped up in front of them. Two _flame strikes_ softened up the two dragons for the dire bear, which appeared in front of the male and did its best to claw at it through the dragon’s _shield_.

Keldas cast _slow_, knowing full well that if it worked, they’d pretty much have the dragons at their mercy. Unfortunately, the first spell fizzled against the dragon’s spell resistance. He tried again, and though this time the spell manifested fully, neither dragon seemed affected by it.

The dragons responded in force. Lightning crackled across the shelf, and the steel predator lent a hand with its roar as well. The party was still well protected from the lightning; that was the good news. The bad news was that the dragons finally seemed to figure it out. Even worse, Keldas was completely unprotected from the roaring of the steel predator, and if the lightning didn’t kill him, the sonics soon would. 

Dorn had another two _flame strikes_ for the dragons and the cat-- apparently Oracles had nothing better to pray for than dozens of _flame strike_ spells-- which softened the predator up enough for Wulf and Karak to charge up together, flank it, and drop it. Wulf noticed that Karak fought with unusual vigor, even for him; he kept stealing glances down to the crevasse, and Wulf got the sense that all these enemies had faded to mere obstacles to the paladin. 

_Fighting with unusual vigor, good. Not keeping your eye on the ball, bad._

Now Keldas cast _greater dispelling_ on the female, and to his trained eye he could almost see the spells melting away from her: _haste, shield, endurance, mage armor_. Then he did the same to the male, dropping Khalataic’s _haste_ and _endurance_ as well. 

The female attempted to _haste_ herself again, but Keldas was too quick, counterspelling it easily. The dragons took to the air and wheeled away below the level of the ledge. Dorn took advantage of the brief pause to heal Keldas with their newly crafted wand of curing. Keldas felt his sonic-blasted insides re-arrange themselves into a more life-sustaining formation. 

Wulf readied his weapons for the dragons’ return, and turned to ensure that the paladin was doing the same. Much to his dismay, Wulf spotted the paladin dive-bombing straight for the young boy’s crevasse. Karak was on his own, distracted from the task at hand and separated from the group by a good hundred feet or so. 

Wulf’s view of the paladin was abruptly blocked out as the dragons suddenly returned, dropping off two more steel predators onto the ledge. Khalataic followed up by casting his _endurance_ spell again. 

Wulf looked on in admiration as Keldas taunted the big male. Wulf couldn’t understand the Draconic but the elf’s arrogant sneer was all too familiar. “What, not strong enough to take us?”

_That’s one elf what’s got a pair, true enough._

The dragons ignored Keldas, dropping down to hover in front of the ledge with just their heads above the level of the rim-- plenty of cover and perfect for breathing anytime they were ready. Dorn decided he’d back them off a bit, and cast a _blade barrier_ such that it would spin parallel to the cliff wall. _Good thinking,_ Wulf thought. _Now if we need to get over, we can just hop the blades._

Unfortunately, the dragons just seemed to ignore the blades. They were turning towards the paladin at last.

Karak had located the boy’s icy prison and cast _dispel magic_. The prison shimmered and disappeared, and the boy slumped to the ground.

“Karak! Stop screwin’ around with that boy and get back in the fight!”

Karak shouted back over his shoulder. “I’m trying to see if he looks okay!”

“Okay? He’s looks totally *HOT!* Happy? Now get yer ass back up here!”

Karak saw the female headed his way and he flew out of the crevasse to meet her before she could get close enough to threaten the boy. He ended his charge with a powerful _smite_, infusing the strike further with his own life-force by way of a _divine sacrifice_. It was a solid blow; it was obvious she felt it. Still, Wulf couldn’t hide his disgust with the paladin. 

_Never, never move to attack the dragon; the dragon just gets to hit you with everything it’s got. Let the dragon come to *you*._

Wulf didn’t stop to think know how he knew it; he just knew it, like instinct. If he’d stopped to consider it, this was probably the third or fourth dragon he’d seen in his lifetime-- three or four more than the average dwarf would ever _want_ to see.

Sure enough, Indrazar beat her mighty wings and lashed out at the paladin with everything she had. Karak was very lucky: only one claw met its mark and he suffered the merest graze from her jaws.

Wulf tried his best to keep an eye on the paladin, as if he could effect the battle through telepathy or osmosis of talent, but he had his own problems. He and Dorn both were tackled by steel predators. _Taranak_ and _Syrius_ hewed into their enemies with every ounce of strength the two dwarves could muster. Keldas cast a _bolt of conjuring_ at Dorn’s foe. Huge chunks of flesh were torn from the predator, dropping to the ground and forming themselves into a small (but angry) celestial badger. The predator collapsed from the transformation. 

Keldas followed with a duplicate bolt to Wulf’s foe, but the thing didn’t drop. Wulf was desperate to break free of his combat and charge to the side of Karak-- to slap a little sense into him, of course-- but he could only watch from the ledge. Karak probably should have moved away from the dragon--  he was certainly more maneuverable--  but Wulf was amazed to see the paladin stand toe-to-toe with her. He was going all out in his attack. 

Precious few of the paladin’s blows struck the dragon, and in return he was nearly ripped to pieces. She clamped her jaws down on him, shredded him with both claws, and to add insult to injury, clouted him with her tail as well. Wulf had a pretty good sense of what the paladin could take-- and that was just about it. He was lucky the female had missed with her wings and rear claws; if she’d been more cool-headed and less charged with fury, the paladin would likely be dead.

_I can’t believe he held his ground._

Wulf had been struggling with the steel predator, trying to force its snapping jaws out of the way long enough to get a clear view of the paladin’s struggle, when suddenly the thing went limp against him. Dorn wrenched his great-axe from the thing’s back and touched Wulf firmly with his other hand. Wulf’s wounds-- quite serious, though he’d hardly noticed them-- closed up. Save the hang-nail he’d had since morning, he was whole again.

“There ya go. Do yer thing.” Dorn jerked a thumb towards the female.

Wulf was off like a shot. Still _hasted_, he charged in against the female on the opposite flank from Karak. _Praise Moradin, the assmar held his ground!_ Wulf hefted _Taranak_ in one hand, as always, but his bone dagger was still in his belt. Instead, he wielded the light mace they’d taken from the drow, and he gleefully pounded the pointed star of chaos into the dragon’s ribs. 

The dragon had never felt such pain before in her life; molten fire and inky chaos seeped into every wound. She wouldn’t have long to ponder the pain, because Keldas had been waiting for a moment of weakness.

He cast _power word: stun_. There was no resisting it. Indrazar hung stunned in mid-air.

Khalataic realized what was happening to his mate, but it was too late. He made a flying run past Wulf, snapping at him with his jaws before flying off to circle back for more. 

“Right, right, we can play that game…” said Wulf. “But just for that, yer whore wife is dead--  and there’s nothing yer can do about it.”

True to his word as always, Wulf laid into the helpless female in a flurry of activity, breaking nearly every bone with his mace before _Taranak_ opened her up and rained her steaming guts down onto the cavern floor.


----------



## wolff96

One adult dead, three dead steel predators, and one vaporized baby that I'm barely counting.

That's a heck of a body count for one fight... especially considering that they were DRAGONS. Not to mention that Keldas actually got to use a Power Word spell on a dragon. With the HP caps, that's a heck of an accomplishment.

And I'm happy -- I get to read two updates in a single day.

Sounds like a &*%$ of a fight, Wulf... Thanks for giving us the recap!


----------



## Thorntangle

*Zing!*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *-- apparently Oracles had nothing better to pray for than dozens of flame strike spells-- *



Heh - Wulf seems to be zinging Dorn more frequently. First about his selective choice of PrCs, now this. He/you sure are consistent in saying what you think. Just another lovable, cuddly Wulf trait.

Great action, BTW.


----------



## Nail

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*

Great stuff, as always.



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *...<snip>... Still hasted, he charged in against the female on the opposite flank from Karak. Praise Moradin, the assmar held his ground! *




Yer gonna have t'explain what th' paladin was thinking, here.  Or not thinking.  Or whatever you (as a player) could get outta him.  

What's going on in that sneaky paladin brain of his, that's what th' masses are wonderin' about...


----------



## Rune

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> “Karak! Stop screwin’ around with that boy and get back in the fight!”
> 
> Karak shouted back over his shoulder. “I’m trying to see if he looks okay!”
> 
> “Okay? He’s looks totally *HOT!* Happy? Now get yer ass back up here!”




Heheheh.   That's one beautiful miscommunication!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*[PR] ENworld chat with BAD AXE GAMES*

*This wednesday evening, 8:00 PM CST, please visit ENworld for a chat with BAD AXE GAMES.*

http://www.d20reviews.com/chat.htm

You can log into the chat using the Java client from your normal browser; or, if you have mIRC, you can get in that way as well:

_"Best time to show up would be about 15-30 minutes before chat. Chat is at 8:00PM CST. If someone is connecting by an irc client other than the enworld java client, they need to connect to server chat.psionics.net channel #dnd3e and #peanutgallery. #dnd3e is the main channel, #peanutgallery is an auxillary channel for chat during moderated events. The best way to log in is using mirc (www.mirc.com) but the simplest way to log in is using the java client at www.d20reviews.com/chat.htm (you can only be in one channel at a time using the java client - you have to open two instances of the java client to be in both channels)."_

I'll be there, of course, slinging the usual Wulf charm (ie, saying things I probably shouldn't); hopefully some of the "mystery" Bad Axe characters will show up as well. 

Please pass the news on!


Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

Excellent story segment! I can't shake the feeling that Wulf has a grudging liking for the (ex)assmar now


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Naw I think the real story here is the fact that Wulf really is a team player. He is not quite the lone wolf psychotic he wants everyone to think he is. 





			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Excellent story segment! I can't shake the feeling that Wulf has a grudging liking for the (ex)assmar now  *


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Excellent story segment! I can't shake the feeling that Wulf has a grudging liking for the (ex)assmar now  *




Obviously I did something wrong, then. But hey, I like anybody that will stick around long enough for me to flank. I mean, it's not like I ever get to _sneak up_ on anything, flanking's pretty much all I've got. 

And let me tell you, baby, when you've finally hit 16th level, there is nothing so sweet in this world as finally getting to add that extra 2d6 sneak attack against all those monsters with 250 hit points. 

Oh, it's sweet. So worth the wait.



			
				DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *Naw I think the real story here is the fact that Wulf really is a team player. He is not quite the lone wolf psychotic he wants everyone to think he is. *




I don't think I've ever given anyone the impression that I wasn't a team player. I love having extra bodies around. After all, it's real hard to flank by yourself. You know, unless you're a tunnel-fighter or something.

"What are you doing over in the corner there, Wulf?"

"Uhh... just flanking myself."


Wulf


----------



## JacktheRabbit

If that is not a quote for a sig I don't know what is.




			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> 
> "What are you doing over in the corner there, Wulf?"
> 
> "Uhh... just flanking myself."
> 
> 
> Wulf *


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

No update today, but here's a  LINK TO SOME FOND MEMORIES. 

It's so much fun to read the comments preserved in that original thread...

Some of you have picked up dwarven accents since those days!


Wulf


----------



## Rodrigo

*Scry Teleport*

We have talked about this before I think but it seems that this campaign as well as the "Lazy Days" campaign that I am in seem to be degenerating into a predictable pattern.   Scry the bad guys then teleport in to kill them.  Is this just the way of 3E adventures once you get past level 9 or so?  Seems to me that it makes it kinda rough on anyone with any enemies at all to stay alive when all they need to know is your name to show up in your bedroom.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good fight.  The problem is that when all you have is a single large fight like this (rather than a series of fights leading to a larger one), your poor fighters really get inferior.  I mean after all if an arcane caster can simply unload all of his arsenal in a single fight without worrying about what is up next what is a fighter to do other than be a meatshield?  Has anyone else experienced this?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I think we've pretty well fixed it in Greg's game with the discovery of the _Forbiddance_ spell. 

All you DMs out there, if you haven't seen it, check it out. No Den of Evil is complete without it.

My game will follow suit shortly-- the Giants and the Mind Flayer just need some time to find a suitable level cleric. Since the party just took 5 days off or so, you can bet you won't be teleporting back in...

I also think that _teleport_ should entail some kind of disorientation on arrival... Or have the trip through the Astral Plane do something funky with time, which causes all spell durations to expire... I dunno. So many options.

In essence you're right, though. Lots of 5th level spells really run roughshod over verisimilitude (commune, teleport, and raise dead are the "big three.").

Wulf


----------



## ForceUser

Where can we get a gander at this _Forbiddance_ spell?


----------



## Hammerhead

The Player's Handbook.

It's a 6th level cleric spell that wards an area against magical entry (like teleport) and against normal entry.  It is permanent and covers a large area.  It's even expensive, so players can't use it as well.


----------



## ForceUser

Heh heh heh

Don't I feel silly?

Thanks!


----------



## Piratecat

*Re: Scry Teleport*



			
				Rodrigo said:
			
		

> *Scry the bad guys then teleport in to kill them.  Is this just the way of 3E adventures once you get past level 9 or so?   *




We haven't found this to be the case. The bad guys often have many clever ways to prevent scrying and/or teleporting, and in some cases have ways to trace such things to follow a retreating party. _Hallowed_ areas laced with _dimensional anchor_ help stop people from fleeing, for instance. I've even used this tactic to the bad guy's advantage, although that hasn't hit my story hour yet.  It will soon, though; I'm pretty proud of this sneaky little trick.


----------



## Immort

Yah, pretty much any time yer gits inta a pattern, it may work fer a bit, but sooner or later it is gunna git broke.  Often takin' yer with it.  Fer every trick there is always a counter.

-Immort


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> In essence you're right, though. Lots of 5th level spells really run roughshod over verisimilitude (commune, teleport, and raise dead are the "big three.").
> 
> *




When you consider that these spells are gained at 9th level, and the very original D&D only really took you up to about 10th level it is perhaps easier to see why they were so powerful originally... and their "sacred-cowness" meant that they remained even though they appear much earlier in the power curve of a PC's lifespan.

Well, thats MY thesis, anyway!

re: spell defences there are some great magic spells which deflect scrying attempts: False Vision is one; Screen is an excellent one, since the scryers can be made to see a different area (middle of traps? empty cell hallowed with dimensional anchor? area that simply doesn't exist... sounds like a reciepe for teleport mishaps to me!)

Cheers


----------



## JacktheRabbit

*Always wondered*

Wulf has a single level of Devoted Defender. So I have always wondered who is Wulf protecting as a Devoted Defender?


Also did you always plan to take only a single level of the class or did you decide after that it was a waste and you should have taken something else?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Always wondered*



			
				DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *Wulf has a single level of Devoted Defender. So I have always wondered who is Wulf protecting as a Devoted Defender?*




It varies from combat to combat. It used to be Keldas a lot, but he rarely needs it and is rarely standing close enough to be of use. 

Shorty if I think he needs it but again-- same problem.

So a lot of the time it's Dorn. 



> *Also did you always plan to take only a single level of the class or did you decide after that it was a waste and you should have taken something else? *




No, I don't think it's a waste. Being able to switch places with the guy I am protecting has proven useful and will prove even more so once I get Superior Expertise. I should be able to turn aside pretty much any melee opponent and let Dorn (or whoever I am protecting) do his thing.


Wulf


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Are you planning on taking any more levels in it? The 2nd level ability of Defensive Strike sure seems like a nice ability to have. Especially if you focus on Darn who seems to have no problem entering combat.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *Are you planning on taking any more levels in it? The 2nd level ability of Defensive Strike sure seems like a nice ability to have. Especially if you focus on Darn who seems to have no problem entering combat. *




Two more levels of rogue, +1 more Slayer, +1 more Devoted Defender.

This serves as a bump to remind me to update today.


Wulf


----------



## Halma

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> This serves as a bump to remind me to update today.
> Wulf *




Yes please do... I want to get to the juicy parts, or the parts about Shorty at least...


Halma --- The Dead Barbarian......?


----------



## Samnell

Halma said:
			
		

> Yes please do... I want to get to the juicy parts, or the parts about Shorty at least...




If squeezed long enough, Shorty's parts are virtually guaranteed to be juicy.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Samnell said:
			
		

> *
> 
> If squeezed long enough, Shorty's parts are virtually guaranteed to be juicy. *




For a second there, I thought that said PANTS.


----------



## Welverin

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> For a second there, I thought that said PANTS. *




You too, eh? Of course that could still be what he meant.


----------



## Samnell

Welverin said:
			
		

> You too, eh? Of course that could still be what he meant.




Oddly enough, it wasn't. That's sort of out of character for me. 

I guess I'm just enough of a halfling lover that I want to squeeze all the little halfling p-

I'm stopping now before I say anything else that could be used against me.


----------



## Samnell

Wulf? Didn't you say we were getting an update Monday? It's Tuesday now. 

No, this is not an attempt to draw attention away from my commentary about halflings. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

And BUMP.


----------



## Dinkeldog

Shhhh....

We're plotting something in the background.


----------



## Dawn

Background plotting?

There'll be none of that.  We readers need to be keep up to date!  Please.........


----------



## Halma

*Magic Items*

I know that Wulf had asked what Lvls he should take, so I think that Shorty will ask the populace what should Shorty take as far as Magic items.  I am not one to hoard magic Items so I haven't just grabbed at any old thing because I am not greedy (Some are, hmm... wonder who that could be?).  I have a total of 240,000 gold pieces to spend and I would like your suggestions please.  Shorty already has a Ring of Wiz I, Ring Of Prot  +4, Amulet of Natural Armour + 2, Robe of Resistance +2, Cloak of Charisma + 4, Flying Carpet, Staff of Flame (Should I keep this or sell it).  2 Cure Serious Wounds potions, 3 Cure Light potions, Boots of Levitation.  Wand of Lighting with 36 charges, and Bracers of Armour +2.

The Items that I have are included in the 240,000 gp's so I could sell off some of them.

Let me know what you all think please.

Shorty


----------



## Nail

*Re: Magic Items*

Advice?  Sure....FWIW:

You need an AC.  You need better saves.  You need a Rod of Absorbtion.  

If ye asked me, I'd tell ya t'get some better Bracers, an' trade up that Robe of Resistance.  Not too much, I suppose, but a little bit wouldn't hurt.

You might concider a custom-made Wondrous Item that casts th' ever-useful _Shield_ or _Expeditious Retreat_.  They're first level, and thus cheap.  Increased mobility is almost as useful as increased AC, especially fer spell casters.  In fact, why don't you combine that effect with yer present boots of levitation?  It wouldn't be that expensive......

Also concider some of those amulets and scarbs that protect against various nasties, like Death effects.  Yer Fort save sucks, right?

And it's gonna be convenient fer you to have something that removes/absorbs/negates the enemies magic.  Lotsa those items around.  Pricy, but generally worth it.  And boy, does it seem like you've been burned by that stuff alot.

You've got plenty of "bang" spells, so I wouldn't waste yer money there.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Course, all this imaginary money he's spendin' is sort of predicated on the back-breakin' efforts of me and my fellow dwarves.

It ain't easy parlaying a pile of adamantine into a king's ransom, you know.

And by the way... We didn't give you that staff so you could haul off and just SELL the friggin' thing. If you don't want it, we'll drop it back in party treasure and split up the proceeds.

Sheesh, you have to keep your eye on these pecks, or WHAT?


Wulf


----------



## ForceUser

Buy a _rod of extension_ to lengthen buff durations


----------



## Urbanmech

Cloak of Displacement!  Probably the best 50K you can spend.  50% miss chance and no chance for creatures without true seeing to crit/sneak attack you is good stuff.  

Then maybe get a Hand of the Mage and get an extra ring, maybe a ring of evasion or spell storing.  Buy some extra utility wands for those spells you have alwasy wanted to cast but don't have on your list.  Get rid of the staff of flame.  Most magic item DC's arne't worth it at higher levels, unless the spells are heightened.

Also upgrade your cloak to a +6 bonus.  Another defensive item you might want to consider would be a mithral buckler of fortification, no spell failure chance and even further protection from critical hits.


----------



## Numion

Urbanmech said:
			
		

> *Cloak of Displacement!  Probably the best 50K you can spend.  50% miss chance and no chance for creatures without true seeing to crit/sneak attack you is good stuff.
> *




Excactly. If you think about that, it means _infinite_ AC 50% of the time. Not that bad for 50 kgp.


----------



## Rodrigo

*Money To Burn*

Spending imaginary money is always fun.  If you are an arcane caster that is up there in levels SCR*W AC.  You will not get enough to really protect you.  The cloak of displacement might be about your best option here.   But mainly depend on your spells and shrewd maneuvering in combat for that.  What you want to be able to do is shrug off debilitating spells (resistance, spell turning, and SR stuff). 
 But the most important thing is to be able to bring the mostest the fastest.  In my opinion you want stuff that will jack up the speed (how many spells), Lethality (damage), and DC (how many will stick), of the spells you throw.  I would certainly look at any items that would let you do this like the metamagic staves etc.  High level rings of wizardry also.  Hit em fast, hard, and make em count.  Get a staff that lets you quicken a spell and get something that lets you Maximize a spell.  From the way your group plays it seems like there is a big fight or maybe two then everyone goes to rest again so unloading as much smack as possibly seems pretty important to me.


----------



## Jeremy

Indespensable Arcane Caster Items:

+6 to spellcasting stat item
Vest of Resistance +5 (Tome and Blood)

Extremely useful for Shorty Items:

Mithral Buckler +1 of Command (Defenders of the Faith)
Cloak of Displacement (Greater)
Cowl of Warding (Magic of Faerun) [Hoooooo MAMA!]
Metamagic Rods (Tome and Blood)

Patently Ludicrous Most Efficient Spending of Money Probably Award you with the Handed Down Handle of Peck Item:

Mithral Buckler +1 of Command and Speed (Defenders of the Faith)


----------



## Halma

*Displacement & Staff of Flame*

Not if you have Dinkledog as dm... which he uses blind site, tremor sense, sniff... you name it to destroy our ability to be Displaced invisible or otherwise.......  AC boosts are good, but at our lvl we are facing monsters with +40 to hit....so I am not sure.


Wulf I haven't decided to sell the Staff yet and I also haven't decided to use your smithy's yet either.  Or is it the only reason I have the 240,000 gp is because of your smithy's?

Thanks for the great suggestions all.  I will probably use the ever popular boots of Levitate/Springing and Striding/and Shield hehehe.  A scarab of Absorption is a great Idea too.

Halma ----- The Dead Barbarian.............?
Shorty ----- "Chain Lightning, oh and another Chain Lightning"


----------



## Halma

Urbanmech said:
			
		

> *
> Then maybe get a Hand of the Mage and get an extra ring, maybe a ring of evasion or spell storing.  Buy some extra utility wands for those spells you have alwasy wanted to cast but don't have on your list.
> 
> Also upgrade your cloak to a +6 bonus.  Another defensive item you might want to consider would be a mithral buckler of fortification*




Thanks Uban... I will see what the Mage hand cost is thats a great idea.  Two suggestions for buckler it certainly may happen.    

Oh I just remembered you live in San Fran.  I will be there tomorrow, or actually Lafayette CA, and for the next couple of days... All day Thursday and Friday leaving out Saturday morning.  Just thought i would share that info with ya... We could have a small San Fran Game Day...!!!

Thanks again

Halma ---- the Dead Barbarian..........?


----------



## coyote6

Urbanmech said:
			
		

> *Then maybe get a Hand of the Mage and get an extra ring,
> *




_Hand of glory_ -- the _hand of the mage_ just gives you the ability to use _mage hand_ at will. Big whoop. 

Also, note that, IIRC, either _hand_ takes up the necklace/amulet/etc. spot, so Shorty would have to give up the _amulet of natural armor_.


----------



## Halma

coyote6 said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hand of glory -- the hand of the mage just gives you the ability to use mage hand at will. Big whoop.
> 
> Also, note that, IIRC, either hand takes up the necklace/amulet/etc. spot, so Shorty would have to give up the amulet of natural armor. *




Hmmm... I thought I could use my belt spot for it...
Thanks for the clarification though.

Halma  ---- The Dead Barbarian...........?


----------



## Victim

Get a metamagic rod.  

Also, upgrade your cloak of resistance to +5 (or +4, if you want the stone of good luck).  Resistance items are must haves.  

That pale green ioun stone might prove somewhat useful.  At your level, SR - at least on the monsters that aren't immune to almost everything - can be a problem.  The stone helps with that, your saves, your touch attacks, and skill checks.  It's pretty dang useful.  It's especially nice if your DM lets you buy it as a normal item, so you avoid the double cost on the stones.

A stone of good luck also helps with saves and checks.


----------



## Pyske

*Re: Magic Items*



			
				Halma said:
			
		

> *I have a total of 240,000 gold pieces to spend...  *




Some nice items you might want to consider:

75K -- Robe of the Archmagi (SR 17, armor 5, resistance 1, spell penetration)
40K -- Ring of Freedom of Movement
38K -- Scarab of Protection (death effects, SR 15)
36K -- Cloak of Charisma +6 (DC, bonus spells) 
20K -- Ring of Wizardry I
16K -- Amulet of Health +4 (fort, hps)
10K -- Stone of Good Luck
07K -- Hand of Glory (extra ring, see invisible)
04K -- Ring of Counterspells (Greater Dispel)
02K -- Belt of Protection vs Evil (custom, use-activated)

Also, it seems like everyone else in your group has pretty effective movement abilities.  Does the party really need you to spend 53K for the 6x9 Carpet of Flying?  If so, perhaps they should chip in toward its cost?

The Freedom / Prot vs. Evil combo would be even nicer for someone with a weak will save.  SR is also very nice to have.

 . . . . . . . -- Eric


----------



## Nail

*Re: Re: Magic Items*



> _Originally posted by Pyske _*Also, it seems like everyone else in your group has pretty effective movement abilities.  Does the party really need you to spend 53K for the 6x9 Carpet of Flying?  If so, perhaps they should chip in toward its cost?*




Heh. Ya...right.

It seems that if a group pools it's treasure, it should also look for magic items that have some synergy among several PCs.  Get rid o' th' overlap, except where appropriate.  Some redundancy is a good thing.

In other words, tell th' ass-mar that you and he should share magic items for "synergistic effects".

Heh, heh.


----------



## Halma

*Re: Re: Re: Magic Items*



			
				Nail said:
			
		

> *
> 
> In other words, tell th' ass-mar that you and he should share magic items for "synergistic effects".
> 
> Heh, heh. *




I don't think he would know what that meant... the player not the Character...Oooh did I say that out loud?


Halma  ----- The Dead Barbarian..........?


----------



## Urbanmech

Hey Halma if you are going to be in San Francisco (Lafayette is a ways away) drop me an email and maybe we can get together.

I know DD uses scent and blindsight to get around things but the displacement will still help vs giants/outsiders/some undead/big strong nasty creatures.  I agree with what others say that you should boost your saves and try to depend on the displacement for defense.  

I did mean the Hand of Glory, not the Hand of the Mage, just got them confused.  An extra ring slot is better than a +2 natural armor bonus.  If you pick up a ring of evasion and raise your saves enough you can dodge one of the most deadly things to a sorcerer, massed area attacks.

If Shorty doesn't have mirror image buy a wand at about 9th or 12th lv ability.  That with the displacement should keep you safe from most melee threats.

So that is: 50k GP Cloak of Displacement
18K GP to upgrade the cloak to +6 (doh, that would be two cloak slots, make a custom item that gives +6 Charisma in another slot.  headband, belt, etc)
7.2K GP for the Hand of the Mage
25K GP for a Vest of Resistance +5
25K GP for a Ring of Evasion
10K GP for a Stone of Good Luck
36K GP for a item of Con +6 (+ to fort saves and hp is good.)
18K GP for a wand of mirror image at 12th lv (1d4+4 images)

That is 189,200 GP of stuff


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

This is all a lot o' crazy talk if yer ask me.

Only way we're going to have that much money is if I pound away at this admantine until we show a profit.

And the only way yer goin' to see any of that profit is if hell freezes over.


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy

Or with some really good domination magic and a good get-away plan...

Wulf has problems occasionally being strong of will...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *Or with some really good domination magic and a good get-away plan...
> 
> Wulf has problems occasionally being strong of will... *




Fortunately my _helm of protection from evil_ takes care of that. I don't think I've taken it off since we entered Heart of Nightfang Spire.

It wasn't hard to convince Keldas to make it for me:

"Who's the last person in the party you want dominated by a vampire?"


Wulf


----------



## Metus

So how bout some of that sweet, sweet update?


----------



## Horacio

That would be great, Wulf, a sweet update...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Today you'll get some sweet update lovin. Stretch out and wait.


----------



## Nail

> _Originally posted by Wulf Ratbane _*...And the only way yer goin' to see any of that profit is if hell freezes over.*




An' I suppose Shorty doesn't have _Cone of Cold_, eh?  

Then again, there's always some creative uses of th' _Gate_ spell.....Wulf doesn't know that one o' th' layers of Hell is frozen over, does he?


----------



## Halma

Nail said:
			
		

> *
> 
> An' I suppose Shorty doesn't have Cone of Cold, eh?
> 
> Then again, there's always some creative uses of th' Gate spell.....Wulf doesn't know that one o' th' layers of Hell is frozen over, does he?   *




That is correct...I believe that 2 or the Nine have frozen over..



Halma ---- The Dead Barbarian...........?


----------



## Ancalagon

Wult said:

"Who's the last person in the party you want dominated by a vampire?"


Seldom such a powerfull argument have I heard.

Ancalagon


----------



## Jeremy

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Fortunately my helm of protection from evil takes care of that. I don't think I've taken it off since we entered Heart of Nightfang Spire.
> 
> It wasn't hard to convince Keldas to make it for me:
> 
> "Who's the last person in the party you want dominated by a vampire?"
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Heh heh.  But does protection from evil = protection from shorty?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part IV (cont.)*

With the death of the female, Wulf thought for a moment that the party was about to have a rare, unspoiled victory. Foolish thoughts, of course.

A glowing portal opened on the north end of the battlefield and two familiar figures stepped through.

“It’s Engram and Rourmed!”

There was no mistaking their intentions; they’d come ready to bring the heat. They appeared to be _hasted_, Engram had multiple _mirror images_ swirling around him, and Wulf suspected a _shield_ spell as well. To top it off, Wulf had a nice, warm, paranoid feeling about the crooked staff that Engram brandished in one hand. Even so, he was far more worried about what Rourmed could do-- if only because he knew too well what Dorn could do; still, when the priest started running across the cavern away from the battle, he had to admit to himself he had no idea what Rourmed _would_ do.

“Kill the priest!” Wulf shouted.

“Which one is the priest?” Dorn yelled back.

Wulf rolled his eyes and pointed. “He’s the one makin’ a beeline for the naked boy!”

Wulf would never know what the priest originally had in mind, because his shout had brought the priest up short. Rourmed stopped at the edge of the depression and turned to look up at the shelf where Karak had retreated to seek healing from Dorn. The paladin was sorely wounded from his fight with the dragon, and when Rourmed’s _blade barrier_ whirled into force about four feet above the level of the shelf, Karak was sliced to ribbons. He dropped below the level of the blades.

Keldas had moved forward to deal with Engram, the wizard. He hovered in mid-air and launched a _bolt of conjuring_ just in time to disrupt Engram’s spell-- some sort of summoning, though it was beyond anything they could identify. Unfortunately, Keldas was far too close, now, to the bull dragon. Khalataic turned in mid-air and blasted Keldas and Wulf with a bolt of lightning. Wulf dodged, of course, and although Keldas wasn’t particularly hurt, his protections would not last much longer. 

Wulf watched as something invisible attacked Keldas, but soon enough he had problems of his own. He couldn’t _see_ his attacker either, but the stench reminded him of half-orc, and the thing’s battle-cry smacked of barbarian desperation. Wulf suspected that his foe had hoped to rattle his nerves, but he was unimpressed.

“Yer’d be a lot more intimidatin’,” Wulf said, “if I could ser yer...” He hefted _Taranak_ and squinted around for his opponent.

Dorn had managed to crawl beneath the _blade barrier_ to Karak’s side. The paladin wasn’t quite dead yet. Dorn laid a hand on the assmar’s brow and _healed_ him nearly to full strength again. When he was satisfied the paladin was going to make it, he carefully unrolled his _carpet of flying_ and charged out to help Wulf with the raging half-orc.

Engram gripped his staff and pointed it at Keldas. “I’m killing you with your own staff,” he said, as fist-sized hailstones pounded down on the elf. 

Keldas had had enough. “I’m leaving!” he said.

Karak had managed to recover his feet, and ignoring the _blade barrier_ as best he could, he grabbed the _portable hole_ and ran to Keldas’ side. Keldas grabbed him and they disappeared.

“We’re not done dancin’ yet,” Wulf said, slashing into the half-orc with a flurry of attacks. Several times, Wulf whizzed his chaos mace through empty air before striking elsewhere with _Taranak_. Not every blow struck true, of course, but Wulf took particular glee in the sickening crunch and sizzle of the ones that did. He’d figure out where his opponent was, line him up with Dorn, and then…

“Dance is over,” Dorn said. He grabbed Wulf by the back of the neck and cast _plane shift_.


----------



## ForceUser

> “Dance is over,” Dorn said. He grabbed Wulf by the back of the neck and cast plane shift.




That had to have annoyed Wulf. Great update!


----------



## Horacio

Great update, Wulf!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

ForceUser said:
			
		

> *That had to have annoyed Wulf. Great update! *




Nah... See, there's what Wulf would do, and there's what any smart player would do.

I am fortunate to have friends to save me from the consequences of roleplaying.


Wulf


----------



## Horacio

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Nah... See, there's what Wulf would do, and there's what any smart player would do.
> 
> I am fortunate to have friends to save me from the consequences of roleplaying.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




LOL! 

Godd answer, Mr. Dwarf, good answer


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

These were the Tusken Raiders we heard tell about?

The D*dog is a rat-bas...


----------



## wolff96

Olgar Shiverstone said:
			
		

> *The D*dog is a rat-bas... *




Well, duh!  We wouldn't tune in otherwise!

I mean, really... if Wulf and crew stomped over everything in their path with the greatest of ease and never broke a sweat... we wouldn't keep coming back to see what new depths the Dog had sunk to!

Wulf's an interesting character, I know, but even I wouldn't tune in to listen to his 316th deal of the day while peddling adamantium...  

--------------

Keep up the great work, Mr. Ratbane!


----------



## Jeremy

Maybe so, but it nice to have days where you dominate.  Where the hard fought battles of the past show that they have produced a battle hardened group that would make any dwarven clan proud...

A six second disintegrate one dragon, destruction another, spirited charge smite evil annihilate a third I'm-Sorry-Did-I-Break-Your-Concentration? betcha-didn't-see-THAT-comin day.

..........

Yeah, I can't do it either.

Collin's favorite saying in my campaign is "Oh look.  It's fate's white a** again."

DM'ing the hard part, we gotta feel like we wrestled you guys to the ground and you only won panting and wheezing.  Of course, sometimes, we plan it things that way well in advance.  Just ta keep ya guessing.

Edit: Whoah, less caffeine for me sir...


----------



## Dinkeldog

Olgar Shiverstone said:
			
		

> *These were the Tusken Raiders we heard tell about?
> 
> The D*dog is a rat-bas... *




These guys were actually leftovers from Deep Horizon.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *These guys were actually leftovers from Deep Horizon. *




Oh.

Oh, in that case, where was the drow priestess, the mind flayer, and all the beholders from Chael Rendar? They're still out there somewhere, surely you could have figured out a way to throw them at us, too.

Wulf


----------



## Pyske

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> Oh, in that case, where was the drow priestess, the mind flayer, and all the beholders from Chael Rendar? They're still out there somewhere, surely you could have figured out a way to throw them at us, too.*




He has to have a few people left alive for the final "Epic level?  Yeah, right!" battle, right?

 . . . . . . . -- Eric


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Pyske said:
			
		

> *He has to have a few people left alive for the final "Epic level?  Yeah, right!" battle, right?*




We already had that fight... and believe me, some beholders would have been a friggin' blessing!


----------



## Victim

Stop whining.

If you Dimensional Anchor the villains in the first place, then they won't escape and cause trouble later on.


----------



## Jeremy

Heh.  A dimensional lock on the area the moment you teleport in.  No escape for either side, no reinforcements for either side.  Better be sure you can win first though.


----------



## Victim

IIRC, the radius on Dimensional Lock is pretty small.  Besides, people can always move out of it, especially with a fly spell on.  Although, I could be mistaken . .. 

Finally, D-lock shuts down the usual escape plan.  Always have an escape plan.


----------



## Dinkeldog

The drow didn't have Kheldas' staff.

You do want Kheldas' staff, don't you?


----------



## Jeremy

Don't sound like it.  

Can we have an animated Tomaloc attack with grubby rotting socks full of rusted pennies?


----------



## wolff96

Second page? I don't think so...

We want more Wulf goodness!


----------



## Eridanis

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Nah... See, there's what Wulf would do, and there's what any smart player would do.
> 
> I am fortunate to have friends to save me from the consequences of roleplaying.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




A quote good enough to bear repeating...

</gratuitous post to get re-subscribed to the thread>


----------



## Nail

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *The drow didn't have Kheldas' staff.
> 
> You do want Kheldas' staff, don't you? *




Can somebody out there in th' legions of Wulf fans tell me how Kheldas lost th' staff?


----------



## Axeboy

Nail said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Can somebody out there in th' legions of Wulf fans tell me how Kheldas lost th' staff? *




IIRC, Keldas never had the staff; it was created (and lost) by his ancestors and it's fallen to him to recover it.


----------



## Dinkeldog

And you do RC.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Axeboy said:
			
		

> *
> 
> IIRC, Keldas never had the staff; it was created (and lost) by his ancestors and it's fallen to him to recover it. *




Yeah, you recall correctly... Except that Keldas doesn't seem all that interested in recovering it. Apparently it's just too dangerous for him so he'd rather let someone else do all the hard work.


Wulf


----------



## Keldas

*Ungrateful Dwarf*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Yeah, you recall correctly... Except that Keldas doesn't seem all that interested in recovering it. Apparently it's just too dangerous for him so he'd rather let someone else do all the hard work.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




I figured that after slaying Big Ulfe and capturing Tanarak for you the least you could do is return the favor by helping me recover the staff.  More importantly I knew what the staff could do and knew that we were not prepared to take on Engram at the moment.


----------



## Jeremy

HAHA!

Amen Wizard!  Preach on!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *HAHA!
> 
> Amen Wizard!  Preach on! *




Well, shucks, if we want to equate Taranak with your staff, we'll just trade and call it even.

I can live with that...


Wulf


----------



## Nail

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Yeah, you recall correctly... Except that Keldas doesn't seem all that interested in recovering it. *




'Course, character-history motivations have never been strong in this group anyway, so no biggie.....


----------



## maddman75

> “Kill the priest!” Wulf shouted.
> 
> “Which one is the priest?” Dorn yelled back.
> 
> Wulf rolled his eyes and pointed. “He’s the one makin’ a beeline for the naked boy!”




Am I wrong for laughing at that? 

Anyway, haven't been here for awhile, and just thought I'd catch up.  Story's great as always Wulf.  

Can't wait to get my hands on the half orc book.  Getting ready to run a paladin aiming for Paragon.  I talked the DM into waiving all those MC restrictions, so its all good.


----------



## Dinkeldog

Since Kheldas' last trip to the Other Side, he's been much more careful.


----------



## Jeremy

maddman75 said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Am I wrong for laughing at that?
> 
> Anyway, haven't been here for awhile, and just thought I'd catch up.  Story's great as always Wulf.
> 
> Can't wait to get my hands on the half orc book.  Getting ready to run a paladin aiming for Paragon.  I talked the DM into waiving all those MC restrictions, so its all good. *




Yes.  You are wrong.  But now so am I for reading it that way and falling out of my chair laughing so hard.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

maddman75 said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Am I wrong for laughing at that? *




No more wrong than I was for saying it, and no less wrong than it was for Jeremy not to laugh sooner!

Believe me, it's going to get worse. That was QUITE a day for snide comments down the sleeve. Fnar fnar!



> *Can't wait to get my hands on the half orc book.  Getting ready to run a paladin aiming for Paragon.  I talked the DM into waiving all those MC restrictions, so its all good. *




Blashphemy! Most of the prestige classes are fairly race-neutral, but there is no way I would let a stinkin' half-orc take the dwarf Paragon class. 

Besides, I think you will find MUCH better things to do with yourself in the Half Orc book!

Which, as we speak, is currently in a truck, on the road, on its way to Osseum, and from thence to your friendly local game store! 

Of course I'll have my own copies in hand within a week! Yay me!


Wulf


----------



## maddman75

Oh, you misunderstand.  I'm playing a Dwarf shooting for Paragon.  What I mean by lifting restrictions is I can freely MC with fighter.  Thinking of going Pal2/Ftr4 then paragon.

Also took the Blood of Kings feat.  His history is longer than his character sheet, with a lost kingdom, lost axe containing the spirit of his line's founder, missing siblings, and the traitor that led to his house's downfall out there somewhere.


----------



## Milo Windby

*Bravo!*

Beautifully done Wulf!  When I read the scrying bit and saw you'd be up against three dragons I was surprised that you were gung ho for running straight in.  I've yet to play a high-level game, so I suppose I'm not aware of what a group is actually capable of that high.  It  looks like had Rourmed and Engram not _conveniently_ 'ported in you would have had the last dragon down in a matter of rounds.  One does have to wonder if DD has a pile of leftover NPCs to drop on the party if they're doing too well.  All part and parcel of the RBDM package, right?  I'm interested to see what you guys do after you finish licking your wounds.

On a story hour author note... I know you mention that not all of the jibes in your posts are directly from the session.  How often do you find yourself ad libbing to make the post a little juicier?  I've been struggling with that in my story hour and I'm not sure if there's some imaginary line that shouldn't be crossed when taking creative license with dialogue.  What do you think?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Bravo!*



			
				Milo Windby said:
			
		

> *On a story hour author note... I know you mention that not all of the jibes in your posts are directly from the session.  How often do you find yourself ad libbing to make the post a little juicier?  I've been struggling with that in my story hour and I'm not sure if there's some imaginary line that shouldn't be crossed when taking creative license with dialogue.  What do you think? *




Most of the jibes are from the table. I may add dialogue from time to time to advance the story, but if it's a snarky comment that's PC-to-PC, it is probably the real thing.

I agree, there is an imaginary line that shouldn't be crossed. I try not to cross it when it involves things one player says to another. I don't feel right "making up" the jokes that fly from player to player or putting words in anyone's mouth. There may be a few exceptions, but for the most part I am faithful to that. Stuff from NPC's is often made up, just because we don't really RP the NPC's much, and when I write the story they have to say _something_, after all.

Wulf


----------



## Rune

*Re: Re: Bravo!*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Most of the jibes are from the table. I may add dialogue from time to time to advance the story, but if it's a snarky comment that's PC-to-PC, it is probably the real thing.
> 
> I agree, there is an imaginary line that shouldn't be crossed. I try not to cross it when it involves things one player says to another. I don't feel right "making up" the jokes that fly from player to player or putting words in anyone's mouth. There may be a few exceptions, but for the most part I am faithful to that. Stuff from NPC's is often made up, just because we don't really RP the NPC's much, and when I write the story they have to say something, after all.
> 
> Wulf *




I have been known to cross that line on several occasions and I likely will again.  I try my best to stay true to the characters and I am quick to alter something that the player doesn't feel is right (which hasn't happened, yet), but I often find that I have to ad lib for the characters because the players that take good notes don't show up often enough and the ones left to take notes often take sketchy notes, as they'd rather just be playing the character.

Also, most of the in-character stuff that gets said at the table is not Eric/Morrus-Grandmother-Friendly.

So I pretty much have to edit (yes, that does mean that the dwarves in the dwarf-campaign are a bit coarser in language than presented, but I've stuck to the characters pretty well, regardless, I think (and the players, thus far, concur).

Of course, if the notes have a true gem (and they often do) it gets included.  I always have at least one of these per update.

The flip side of this is that I have been known to gloss over the dialogue if the notes don't support anything, but doing this overmuch tends to ruin the pacing of a good tale.

I suppose a summary of what I've said is in order:

The dialogue of the PCs in my story hours may not be verbatim, but it's pretty much what was said.


----------



## Dawn

Must not allow Wulf to linger on the second page!

Back to the front with you!


----------



## Dawn

Must not allow Wulf to linger on the second page!

Back to the front with you!


----------



## Milo Windby

*Re: Re: Re: Bravo!*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *
> The dialogue of the PCs in my story hours may not be verbatim, but it's pretty much what was said. *




I find the same, but I often have to 'translate' what's said at the table into more in-character statements.  The dialogue in my story hour is supported by what's said and done around the table, but I've set it into context for the story hour.  For example: Brigit, our resident dwarf, has a brogue not entirely unlike Wulf (Props to Wulf for excellent dwarf dialogue) but her player doesn't talk like that at the table.  She loves the translation though, and if she could manage to get the accent down right, I'm sure she'd be speaking like that all night.  

Anyway, thanks for the info Wulf and Rune.  Sorry for the minor hijack.  More butt-kicking goodness please!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Brogue*



			
				Milo Windby said:
			
		

> *Brigit, our resident dwarf, has a brogue not entirely unlike Wulf (Props to Wulf for excellent dwarf dialogue) but her player doesn't talk like that at the table.  She loves the translation though, and if she could manage to get the accent down right, I'm sure she'd be speaking like that all night.  *




Major ditto. I don't have the accent, so I just make up for it at the table with extra crabbiness.

Last Sunday was excellent: Karak wasn't in attendance, and Halma/Shorty made some minor gaffe at the table that I pounced on out of habit.

He was a little stunned. "Oh, great, so it's my turn this week, huh?"


Wulf


----------



## ForceUser

I go overboard with my dwarf. I change my voice, making it louder and harsher, with an acidic tone. I sit there and, out of habit as well, wait for opportunities to be rude, obnoxious, abrasive, and insulting. Hey, the character has a 6 Charisma, I feel justified. 

I had to tone it down last session, though; I know my character gets on the other characters' nerves, but I started annoying the other _players_. After one particularly obnoxious tirade, the player next to me - whose character had been trying to tell my character to ...JUST...SHUT...UP - snapped and slapped his hand over my mouth. 

There followed this somewhat uncomfortable silence. 

On the one hand, I nailed the character. On the other hand, maybe next time I'll play somebody with a higher Charisma.


----------



## Jeremy

ForceUser said:
			
		

> *On the one hand, I nailed the character. On the other hand, maybe next time I'll play somebody with a higher Charisma. *




LOL!  True.  True.  Khuuld was like that in my game, in trying to nail his character, a barbaric man of ancient peoples and staunch tradition he alienated PC and Player alike until they booted him.

One could say though that the other PC's were just as accurate in their decision to dismiss the agitator.

Of course this player has in past played a homicidal maniac, a schitzophrenic swordsman, and a money grubbing egotist wizard that just burns of Edwin Odesseiron...  But he plays them well dammit!


----------



## Horacio

*Re: Brogue*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Last Sunday was excellent: Karak wasn't in attendance,  *




Wulf, you really like Karak player, don't you?


----------



## wolff96

So...

When do we get an update? Please? Pretty please??


----------



## Nail

wolff96 said:
			
		

> *When do we get an update? Please? Pretty please??*




wolff96:
    I'm beginning to think:

"Real Life: Those boring chunks of time between Wulf updates."


----------



## Halma

*Table top punching bag.....*



			
				ForceUser said:
			
		

> *I go overboard with my dwarf. I change my voice, making it louder and harsher, with an acidic tone. ......
> 
> 
> On the one hand, I nailed the character. On the other hand, maybe next time I'll play somebody with a higher Charisma. *




Well for one you are talking about dwarven Player Character grumpiness and Charisma. I was referring to IRL "Wulf" grumpiness and Charisma.  He can be brutal when his sacrificial punching bag isn't around (Tomaloc/Korak)...heheh but its part of his personality that I have learned to find quite amusing.......MOST OF THE TIME!!!

It took me two years to reallize the Wulf really is a Dwarf trapped in a human body itching to make the change.

LOL 


Halma the Dead Barbarian...............?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

wolff96 said:
			
		

> *When do we get an update? Please? Pretty please??*




Sorry guys, I am out at the big corporate HQ right now... not much time.

If I spot a chance...


benjamin


----------



## maddman75

Nearly a week....no Wulf, no Piratecat...getting weak....must have story hour fix.....


----------



## Eridanis

Could always check out the story hour in my sig...

(couldn't resist the shameless plug - at least it's Wulf-related!)


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Hmm... I left milk and cookies for the Story Hour gnomes, hoping they would write the update for me this weekend, but to no avail.

I'll have to do it myself today, I guess...

On the bright side, my shoes look fantastic.


Wulf


----------



## Nail

A dwarf in freshly shined black dress shoes.    

Now there's a thought.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part V*

“Did he say he was killin’ yer with yer own staff?” Wulf asked.

“Oh. Yes. That’s the staff I have been looking for my entire life,” said Keldas, the very picture of understatement.

“Well,” said Wulf, “We’re goin’ back, right?”

“Tomorrow,” said Keldas, and so it was agreed.

***

By the next day they were fully rested and Wulf was nearly squirming at the thought of all the heavy-duty spellpower that Keldas and Dorn would be bringing. Thus, he was more than a little surprised to find that Dorn had come prepared with a _scrying_ for the day. “No sense goin’ in blind,” he reasoned.

Dorn cast his _scrying_ and zeroed in on the dragon’s cave, near the spot where they’d arrived last time. The dragon himself was out of frame, but they were looking in instead at Rourmed and Engram. The priest and the wizard were themselves huddled over a mirror, and it took only a moment for Keldas to glance around and spot their scrying sensor. 

Wulf could not help chuckling. “They see us, we see them… Fine. Let’s go!”

He rolled out his _portable hole_ for the paladin. 

“I’m not going in there,” Karak said.

“This is gettin’ old,” Wulf said. “I’m tired of yer bitchin’ but I’m more tired of arguing with yer. So we’ll do it yer way.”

They were forced to split up into two groups, since neither Keldas nor Karak alone could _teleport_ the entire group.

They prepared with spells and on cue, Keldas _teleported_ in with Dorn, and Karak did the same with Wulf.

At least, that was what was supposed to happen. 

What happened instead was that Keldas and Dorn arrived in the dragon’s cave, alone, while Karak botched his _teleport_ and sent himself and Wulf off into the featureless void of Acheron. Wulf had one hand hitched into Karak’s belt, but that didn’t stop him from smacking him around with the other. Karak tried his helm again. 

Again, they were off target. With two of his three daily uses now wasted, Karak had just one _teleport_ left. He lobbied hard to try one last time. “Keldas and Dorn are there all alone!”

“Then yer better start prayin’ that Keldas and Dorn have enough sense to leave, cause we are not headin’ in with no escape route. Take us home… arsehole.”

Meanwhile, as Wulf had hoped, it took only a moment for Keldas and Dorn to realize that they were alone. Fortunately, they had the drop on Engram and Rourmed. “Stay or go?” Keldas said.

Dorn briefly considered staying.  Half of him expected the paladin to try again and actually get it right, and half of him thought he and Keldas could take it alone. In the end, he decided that neither supposition was very likely. “Home!” he said, hoping that Wulf had enough sense not to let the paladin _teleport_ in without an escape route. 

Before their enemies could act, Keldas cast _teleport_ again. As he and Dorn were whisked away, they noted a contemptuous sneer on the faces of the priest and mage, their nemeses. “Leaving already?” they said. 

They met up on the Acheron side of the gate back to Rigus, their agreed meeting place-- the only feature of the plane they were all comfortable with. 

“Let’s go!” said Karak, as soon as they were all assembled. 

“Nah, tomorrow,” Wulf said. “We’ll need your helm at full strength.”

“But the boy…” Karak started.

“Is still alive,” Wulf guessed, “and I reckon he’ll be so tomorrow.”

“But…”

“Go on then,” said Wulf. “But count me out.”

“Me too,” said Dorn. “I can always _raise_ him later… If there’s anything of him left.”

Karak looked ready to cry. 

“You know, worst case scenario…” Dorn suggested.

***

Wulf and Karak took turns watching throughout the night while Keldas and Dorn recovered the few spells they’d used in their botched attempt. Wulf was up bright and early. He had the _portable hole_ all ready for the paladin.

Karak balked again. “I already told you, I am not going in there again.”

“Get in the hole!” Wulf shouted.

“No.”

“You do realize you are _doubling_ the chances of something going wrong?” said Dorn.

“It’s only a very small chance…”

“GET IN THE GODDAMN HOLE!” Wulf yelled again.

“No.”

Wulf was done shouting. Now, he merely stared at the paladin, and somehow, something in his demeanor must have finally impressed upon the paladin that today was a _killing day_. 

Karak got in the hole. 

Dorn reached in and plucked the _helm of teleportation_ off his head. “Thank you.”

Keldas and Dorn cast their preparatory spells, Wulf rolled up the hole, and they were off:

Dorn nailed it on the first try. They _teleported_ in and landed literally toe-to-toe with their enemies.

***

Wulf was the first to act. He was standing within arm’s reach of Engram, and though he was sorely tempted to hack him open in one shot, he stuck true to the plan and unrolled the portable hole. But Engram must have seen the glimmer in Wulf’s eye, for despite the fact that he was the next to act, he took the opportunity to skitter back away from Wulf.

Dorn had gained his bearings and showed with his opening salvo that he wasn’t playing around. He cast _destruction_ on Engram, and for one brief moment it looked as if the mage would be completely obliterated. Somehow, he held himself together, but the damage from the _destruction_ wracked his frail frame hideously. 

Keldas took one look at the blue bull dragon and with a flick of his wrist, it was gone.

While Rourmed’s dwarven bodyguard fired at them with his crossbow, the half-orc barbarian rushed at them from across the cave, frothing and bellowing as he charged directly at Wulf in another attempt to intimidate him. Wulf was, again, staggeringly unimpressed.

Rourmed was up and acting now, and the group felt a sickening lurch as an _unholy aura_ descended over all of them. Wulf quickly decided that Rourmed was probably a greater threat than Engram, and he tumbled over to the priest’s flank, waiting for an opportunity. He was too quick for the half-orc but Rourmed was ready with his weapon. He cracked Wulf solidly across the back as he tumbled into position. There was unholy power in his morningstar, and Wulf was painfully reminded that as far as such things went, he was counted among the “good guys.”

Engram was standing in the clear and he cast _haste_ to better deal with his foes. Wulf recognized the spell but before he could wonder what unpleasantness would follow, Keldas had counterspelled the _haste_ and Engram was left hanging out to dry. Dorn pounded him with a _flame strike_ and Engram was blasted to cinders. Dorn was clearly surprised that the wizard had died so easily, but he merely shrugged and jogged over to flank Rourmed with Wulf. 

Wulf drew a second weapon and hacked away at Rourmed in a hasted blur; still, Rourmed kept his feet. Wulf hadn’t expected to drop him too quickly, but the damage done was enough for Keldas: he cast _power word, stun_ and Rourmed was toast. It was a simple matter for Dorn to finish him off. 

The crossbow-wielding dwarf had seen enough. He took off running, leaving only the half-orc for the party to deal with. He charged Wulf again, landing a solid blow, but Wulf merely chuckled; the half-orc had run right into a threshing machine. Wulf chopped and slashed with glee, but the half-orc didn’t drop.

In fact, he responded with a frenzied flurry of his own that left Wulf very nearly dead. “Little help here!” Wulf shouted. 

Keldas was busy recovering his staff from Engram’s remains, but Karak came to Wulf’s aid. He charged the half-orc from behind. Six inches of longsword came bursting through his chest from the back way, but still the half-orc kept fighting. 

Keldas tried _hold monster_ to no avail; a _bolt of conjuring_ sizzled his skin but did little to deter him. Wulf and Karak landed some half a dozen telling blows between them, and the little celestial badger summoned by Keldas’ bolt even lent a hand, scratching feebly at the berseker’s shins.

“He’s a frenzied berserker!” Wulf said. He’d seen battleragers among his own people who boasted similar fortitude. “He’s not going down while he’s raging…”

Dorn nodded and tried a simple _command_. “Relax!” he said, hoping to end the rage. It was useless. The half-orc had a will of iron. Dorn hacked away with his great-axe. It, too,  was useless.

“How much can he TAKE?” Wulf shouted, frustrated. “Somebody please kill this bastard before he kills me…”

“One way or another, you better kill him soon,” Keldas said. He cast another _hold_ spell and, miraculously, it worked.

Dorn wasted no time. He was ready to take off after the dwarf who had run away. “Let him go,” said Wulf.

“Yes, do,” said Keldas. “We’re going to need you here any minute now.”

“Why?” asked Karak. His question was answered as the blue dragon suddenly reappeared. It looked very, very angry.

“AH!” the paladin yelled. Almost by instinct, he _smited_ the dragon.

The dragon’s heaved its haunches and breathed a bolt of lightning across Karak and Dorn. Keldas, non-plussed, cast a _dispel_ on the dragon to drop any protections it might have cast while it was trapped within his previous _maze_ spell. 

Karak ducked around the dragon, narrowly avoiding a tail slap from the mighty beast. He stabbed at its left flank while Wulf did his best to flay it alive from the right.

The dragon looked like he had a little more fight in him, but he was no fool. He took to flight and sailed out of the cavern with amazing aerial agility for such a large beast. Keldas and Dorn both gave chase, but despite Keldas’ attempt to _disintegrate_ it and Dorn’s incessant _flame strikes_, the dragon’s spell resistance and flight speed soon carried it out of harm’s way. 

Wulf had followed them out to watch the brief pursuit from the cave mouth. He returned with Dorn and Keldas to find Karak ministering to the boy. 

The boy looked sorely wounded. Karak cast _heal mount_ and, to everyone’s surprise, all of his wounds were healed.

“So now he’s your servant?” Dorn asked. 

“I haven’t got that far with him yet.” Karak said.

“So… what are we talkin’ then?” Wulf asked. “First base? Second base?”

“He is a dragon,” Karak explained. “His name is Azimuth.”

Wulf snickered. “Whatever. Let’s loot these bodies and head back to Rigus to sell it.”

They shoveled the dragon’s hoard and the corpses into the _portable hole_. Karak noted a few pearls as they slipped into the hole and he spoke up.

“Can I have some pearls for the dragon?”

“What for?”

“He just… likes pearls.”

“Hm. Ok. So yer’d like to give him a nice pearl necklace then?”

“Well, I am sure he would like a share.”

Dorn had a fine ear for the sound of coin being drained out of his own pockets, and now he stepped into the conversation. “What exactly is the fair share for allowing yourself to be rescued?”

Karak was oblivious to the sarcasm. “Well, I think he deserves a half share, just like Alliane.”

“He’s a _mount_,” Wulf said, nearly stunned at the paladin’s twisted logic. “So if I ride a pony, he gets a half share?”

“He’s an _intelligent_ mount,” Karak insisted, thinking he’d won the argument.

“So’s ol’ Bill,” Wulf said, “He can count to three!”


----------



## Gumby

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part V*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> “Hm. Ok. So yer’d like to give him a nice pearl necklace then?”
> *



You're a bad, bad man, Wulf.  Great to see another update.


----------



## Halma

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part V*



			
				Gumby said:
			
		

> *
> You're a bad, bad man, Wulf.  Great to see another update. *




But freak'n funny...  !!!!


Halma......The dead Barbarian?


----------



## drnuncheon

Ow.  OK, I'm probably going to get jumped for taking the peck...er...paladin's side, but I can see where he's coming from.  If you guys had a dragon join the party as a cohort, I doubt any of you would blink twice at the idea of giving him a share of the treasure, even if he let someone ride him - so saying he doesn't get any because "he's a mount" seems a little strange.

On the other hand, Dorn's argument - "What exactly is the fair share for allowing yourself to be rescued?" - pretty much sums up the lack of logic in this particular request.  Maybe if Karak had kept his mouth shut and then asked for a share after the dragon/kid had actually done something worthwhile, he'd have gotten a better response...

...nah, this is Wulf we're talking about.  

J


----------



## Jeremy

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part V*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *The boy looked sorely wounded. Karak cast heal mount and, to everyone’s surprise, all of his wounds were healed.
> *




What!?

*snip* _You knew it would be.  Sorry. -Dinkeldog_

Er, excuse me, that was highly inflamatory and just not right.  _At least you know it is._ The actions of a few do not represent the tendancies of the many.

He isn't is he? _No, he's not._

Erg, sorry, just slipped out.

Gotta love Maze spells.  I can only imagine how cocky the baddies must have been to choose the same battlefield 3 (4?) days in a row and not modify it or find someway to work it to their advantange.

"Ok, you mage, you stay on the ledge away from me.  I'll be over here so we can both rain down our fire power on where ever they pop up."

"You, dragon, your job is to get infront of where ever they are with Drooler here and stop that damn dwarf from hacking my shins up.  And the second that elf begins making twinkle fingers, breathe on him.  That'll get his attention."

"You, crossbow boy, you keep yourself ready to take potshots at the first person you see making twinkle fingers.  If any one of us should fall, you put the crossbow to the head of the little boy.  We know he can take it, but they don't.  Maybe we can bluff our way outta this until we can find another axiomatic dire lion den."

"Everyone got it?  Good.  To your ---*poof*----places?"

*The dragon gets Mazed.*

"Ah hell."


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Yeah, this was pretty much the last time anybody at the table, DM or player, was happy with the old scry-teleport routine we had fallen into. It gets a little better once we get into the Fortress proper.

Well, ok, there is ONE more scry-teleport in the next episode.

As far as "the paladin and his boy" goes, the Story Hour is heavily edited from what was actually said at table. Eric's gran and all...


Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

Just wanted to say that it was nice to see Counterspell getting an outing again...

(in fact that could be a great use for being hasted = cast a spell and prepare to counterspell too)

Cheers


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Just wanted to say that it was nice to see Counterspell getting an outing again...
> 
> (in fact that could be a great use for being hasted = cast a spell and prepare to counterspell too)
> 
> Cheers *




Oh, no, it's much worse than that. Keldas is just getting warmed up in this installment.

He has REACTIVE counterspell. Which means he can counterspell without even preparing an action. He just loses his first hasted action in the NEXT round, and he can still do something else. 

It's killer... But _so_ worth the look on dinkeldog's face, cause it gets him EVERY SINGLE TIME. 


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy

Pssst...  DinkleDog, check out Rings of Haste over on the WotC website.  Just make sure you curse them to crumble when worn or employed by goodly peoples.  

Oh, um, nevermind me guys.


----------



## Immort

Bout freakin' time we finally git an update.  I wuz startin' ta feel the lack.  Good one by the way.  So whut does the staff do?

-Immort


----------



## KidCthulhu

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part V*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *“So now he’s your servant?” Dorn asked.
> 
> “I haven’t got that far with him yet.” Karak said.
> 
> “So… what are we talkin’ then?” Wulf asked. “First base? Second base?”
> _____________________________________
> 
> “Hm. Ok. So yer’d like to give him a nice pearl necklace then?”
> *




LO-Frikin'-L!

It's a good thing Eric's Grandma isn't up on popular culture terms for various sexual acts.


----------



## maddman75

Ahhhhh

Wulf and Piratecat on the same day!  And both with a teleport mishap!   

Wulf, I imagine the table comments at your games are a lot like the ones at mine.  You wouldn't believe the suggestions we came up with when trying to break into a place through the sewers, and had to get the manhole open.

I still laugh about it when it occurs to me


----------



## Horacio

A great update, Wulf, as usual 
Beware, people, Karak the paladin is now a *mounted* pain in the butt.


----------



## Jeremy

"So what was your previous mount?"

"Funny story that.  See I was tearing it up in one of the Nine Hells when I, oh, my friends were there helping a little, anyways...  Tearing it up when I found this devil disguised as a dragon disguised as a boy.  Well, magic being what it is, he fooled me and dang if I didn't bond and mount the boy."

"Tell me again how you're a paladin?"


----------



## Galfridus

Where's Reactive Counterspell from?


----------



## Jon Potter

Galfridus said:
			
		

> *Where's Reactive Counterspell from? *




Magic of Faerun, IIRC.


----------



## Reg Dword

Maybe this is a stupid question. If I have missed something in a previous post I apologize. How did Karak know about the boy/dragon?


----------



## KidCthulhu

Reg Dword said:
			
		

> *Maybe this is a stupid question. If I have missed something in a previous post I apologize. How did Karak know about the boy/dragon? *




Two possibilities spring to mind:

1) NAMBLA
2) He used to be an altar boy at Karak's church.

Ooooh, I'm goin' to h-e-double hockey sticks now.


----------



## Jeremy

He dreamt of mounting the little naked boy.  So naturally, when he found him injured, he cast Heal Mount on him.

Wulf's narrator isn't privy or didn't relate that dream so we don't know what it entailed.  Just that Karak had a real bug up his arse to get that boy and quick.  You'd think he was an uber powerful sword or a fighter 10/mnk 8/sor 5 paladin mount with a breath weapon...



			
				KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> *Ooooh, I'm goin' to h-e-double hockey sticks now. *




Don't worry, Wulf, Immort, and I are going to be right next to you.


----------



## wolff96

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *Don't worry, Wulf, Immort, and I are going to be right next to you.   *




Sounds like a good group. I'm probably damned anyway, so we can all game for eternity if we can find a way to keep the stupid dice from melting...  

Great update, Wulf!

And no, I'm not even going to comment on all the innuendo in that update.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I'd prefer to keep it at innuendo. Some of the recent posts may be due for pruning.

I don't know why Heal Mount worked, quite honestly, since to date I have never seen the paladin ride anything.

You don't really think he'd waste skill points or feats on something like mounted combat? I mean, really folks.


Wulf


----------



## Immort

> _origiinally posted by Jeremy_
> Don't worry, Wulf, Immort, and I are going to be right next to you.




Hey whut did I do?  I mean sure there wuz that thing where I massacred those three towns, but other than that, I'm a stand up guy.

-Immort


----------



## Jeremy

maddman75 said:
			
		

> *Am I wrong for laughing at that? *




Ah, I had thought you said this.  Your name has been wrongfully slandered.  Allow me to slander it correctly.  

PS - It was more naked boys and priest jokes that I had you pegged for.  I was mistaken.  My apologies.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Hey Wulf - how far are we behind real life in the storyhour at the moment?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Hey Wulf - how far are we behind real life in the storyhour at the moment? *




Months. Probably close to 20 pages of notes.

In terms of actual sessions, I'd say 4 or 5. (We don't get to play as often as we would like.)


Wulf


----------



## JacktheRabbit

so how far is Wulf from permanent retirement?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *so how far is Wulf from permanent retirement? *




A guess?

4 more sessions.


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> A guess?
> 
> 4 more sessions. *




<Sigh>  I just got into this story hour recently, and now you're telling me I can expect only 9 more sessions of Dwarven goodness (5 in the can + 4 yet to go, right?)

As a newly christened dwarf, I have to ask...  As a dwarf, am I expected to take the retirement of a legend stoically?  Or do I tear up in one eye like when a sports legend retires?  Or do I drink a barrel or so of ale and start a bar-fight in Wulf's honor?

My instincts are pushing for the ale, but I could go either way.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Canis said:
			
		

> *As a newly christened dwarf, I have to ask...  As a dwarf, am I expected to take the retirement of a legend stoically?  Or do I tear up in one eye like when a sports legend retires?  Or do I drink a barrel or so of ale and start a bar-fight in Wulf's honor?
> *




Take it stoically, but have an ale. Whatever you do, if it's really strong ale, don't tear up, cause then you just look like a big girlie who can't handle his drink, and I will have to kick yer ass.


----------



## wolff96

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Whatever you do, if it's really strong ale, don't tear up, cause then you just look like a big girlie who can't handle his drink, and I will have to kick yer ass. *




But won't you have to come out of retirement to kick his ass? That might be worth it...

And here's a guarantee: When Wulf finally hangs up his weapons, there's at least one dwarf out here who will drink a toast of homemade brew to his memory.

Granted, I'm a dwarven DRUID, so I don't get as much respect as you do... but I'll still be drinking my own spirits to your happy living.


----------



## Dinkeldog

Anyone that doesn't respect the druid gets what he deserves:  a dire bear paw to the side of the head.

To further the hijack, if you're enjoying the shapeshifting more than the spellcasting, I highly recommend the Shifter prestige class.  Sure, two feats are wasted, and you never add new spells, but you can become a griffin, an assassin vine or a fire giant:  how cool is that?


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Take it stoically, but have an ale. Whatever you do, if it's really strong ale, don't tear up, cause then you just look like a big girlie who can't handle his drink, and I will have to kick yer ass. *




Here's the plan, then, for when Wulf retires (May Moradin keep us from the day).

1) Stoic acceptance
2) Strong ale
3) If any pecks or nancy-boy paladins bug me while I'm at the bar with my ale, I give 'em a taste o' boot leather.

Maybe if I'm really lucky, I'll run into one of those newfangled Peck-Paladins.  Ya know, the little nancies what ride dire badgers on account a' no self-respectin' pony will let the little blighters touch 'em, much less mount 'em.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> A guess?
> 
> 4 more sessions.
> 
> *




Of course, this is *assuming* Wulf makes it through to retirement (heh heh heh). Dinkledog is a bad man, and he consorts with many other Rat Bastards (heh heh heh)


----------



## Horacio

Beware of Rat Bastard DM because they are swift and prone to PCs deaths...


----------



## Halma

*All Pecks?*



			
				Canis said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Here's the plan, then, for when Wulf retires (May Moradin keep us from the day).
> 
> 1) Stoic acceptance
> 2) Strong ale
> 3) If any pecks or nancy-boy paladins bug me while I'm at the bar with my ale, I give 'em a taste o' boot leather.
> 
> Maybe if I'm really lucky, I'll run into one of those newfangled Peck-Paladins.  Ya know, the little nancies what ride dire badgers on account a' no self-respectin' pony will let the little blighters touch 'em, much less mount 'em. *




Hey!!  You don't mean all peck's do you!?  I take complete offense to that comment.  I mean I do my job for Wulf, I put big nasty spells down range, and destroy lots of big nasty's for him.  When Wulf says shoot'em I cast lightning bolt without asking what for.  When Wulf says "lets get the F@#$ out of here!!", which isn't often, I cast Teleport and zoom we are off.  Well I do have some problems with dispelling spells but that doesn't really matter now does it.  I kick ass!!! 
If you are going to raise a glass for Wulf, then that better include a tall one for me as well.  Just because I am short you dwarves think you can ........blah blah blah blah blah.... and further more Shorty represents ......  blah blah blah blah blah........

Shorty Tumpytoes  --- Of the Tumpytoes Clan


----------



## wolff96

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *To further the hijack, if you're enjoying the shapeshifting more than the spellcasting, I highly recommend the Shifter prestige class.  Sure, two feats are wasted, and you never add new spells, but you can become a griffin, an assassin vine or a fire giant:  how cool is that? *




Actually, I've considered Shifter. Other than an attachment to my dwarven roots, the only thing keeping me out of the PrC is that the campaign will be going epic. Since we'll be going that high, I'll just hold out for Shapechange and then take all the new Wildshaping feats.

You'll be a dragon -- through the Shifter -- before I will, but I'll have a working breath weapon by the time I get there!


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

*Re: All Pecks?*



			
				Halma said:
			
		

> *Hey!!  You don't mean all peck's do you!?  I take complete offense to that comment.  I mean I do my job for Wulf, I put big nasty spells down range, and destroy lots of big nasty's for him.  When Wulf says shoot'em I cast lightning bolt without asking what for.  When Wulf says "lets get the F@#$ out of here!!", which isn't often, I cast Teleport and zoom we are off.  Well I do have some problems with dispelling spells but that doesn't really matter now does it.  I kick ass!!!
> If you are going to raise a glass for Wulf, then that better include a tall one for me as well.  Just because I am short you dwarves think you can ........blah blah blah blah blah.... and further more Shorty represents ......  blah blah blah blah blah........
> 
> Shorty Tumpytoes  --- Of the Tumpytoes Clan *




Master Shorty, height is none of my problem with yer average peck.  Why your average peck is no shorter than an adolescent dwarven girl who's been only slightly underfed.  You, yourself, reportedly cut a dashing figure when placed next to an only slightly stunted kobold.  And I have to admit a certain respect for anyone who'll apply a _Brutal Seething Surge_ in such an appropriate manner to an elf, even if ya were _confused_ at the time.  But when all's said an' done, if a halfling be worth half a human, it'll take 10 o' ya to make a modest, and rather homely, dwarf.


----------



## Bronz Dragon

Halma said:
			
		

> *
> Hmmm... I thought I could use my belt spot for [a hand of the mage]...
> Thanks for the clarification though.
> 
> Halma  ---- The Dead Barbarian...........? *



new to this storyhour, I realize this is from a while back, but *snicker* putting a hand of the mage on your belt?

_Shorty: (facing away from the party) Hey, I can use this Hand to hold my Rod!

Wulf: ..  uh...  

Shorty: And maybe Keldas' staff, too!

Keldas: hey-

Shorty: And on top of all that, I can put a ring on it!  (turns around, and pries a new metamagic rod from the grip of the Hand of the Mage) This thing really rocks!    ..what..?_

Heehee, I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist!  

Apologies to the various grandmothers


----------



## ExtremeSIMS

Elder-Basilisk said:
			
		

> *+1 (functionally +2 from Adamantine construction) Sure Striking Longsword/battle axe/greatsword of speed. A +6 equivalent weapon for the price of a +5 weapon. Additional advantages include:
> Hardness of 20 means you don't need to fear sunder attempts
> Enhancement bonusses apply even in Keldas's anti-magic field.
> 
> That do it for ya?
> 
> *




Adamantine bonuses do not stack with magical enhancements.

>Does an adamantine weapon require a bonus before enchantment, or is the
>natural +2 basis for further magic? For example, if I have an adamantine
>sword, can I add the Keen enchantment to it?

Adamantine is not magical unless you use the appropriate feat on it, so 
you have to make it least a magical +1 before putting any additional 
abilities on it.



- Sean

--
Sean "the Enforcer" K Reynolds


----------



## Taren Seeker

ExtremeSIMS said:
			
		

> *
> Adamantine is not magical unless you use the appropriate feat on it, so
> you have to make it least a magical +1 before putting any additional
> abilities on it.*



*

Elder-Basilisk did that part correctly. He listed the base +1 then added sure striking and speed. He did mess up his math however.

+1(enhancement) +1(sure striking) +4(Speed) =6.

The adamantite gives a +2 that overlaps the +1 enh, which is in effect a +7 weapon for +6 price.

However, I do believe that Dinkeldog has ruled that the Adamantite bonus acts as an enhancement that can be enchanted (and penetrate DR), so I guess the initial +1 is not needed for Wulf's Campaign.

Oh, and BTW, it's an excellent campaign Wulf and co., I hope that ours which is starting up soon will be half as much fun.

/me shines up the boot leather and looks for somewhere to apply it*


----------



## ForceUser

One of my DMs is talking about running an all-dwarf campaign next time around. Now that sounds like fun.


----------



## Immort

Just make sure yer use the "Heroes of High Favor" dwarven source book.  Cuz if you don't  . . .  

-Immort


----------



## maddman75

Agree completly Immort.  I'm playing a paladin working toward paragon right now.  Few books have given me as many feelings of 'Wow - I'd love to play one of those!' as HoHHwarves.

Can't wait to get ahold of the half orcs too.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

maddman75 said:
			
		

> *Few books have given me as many feelings of 'Wow - I'd love to play one of those!' as HoHHwarves.
> 
> Can't wait to get ahold of the half orcs too. *




Even the message boards love my product; puts a smile on its face every time.

Just FYI, I think Half-Orcs is every bit as good as Dwarves. It's a little more "extreme" in flavor, but some fun PrC's in there too. Hard to decide between the Moulder, Dire Stalker, Coal-Tongue Raver, Wyrd, and Hoodoo.


----------



## Thorntangle

just-looking-for-an-update Bump

Feel free to discard after the expiration date.

*THIS POST BEST IF USED BY 09282002*


----------



## Victim

Building Universal Mental Projections


----------



## Metus

Wulf!  Buddy!  Where you been?  It's been almost 3 weeks since an update!  Surely you won't let your fans flounder and flail around.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Update today.


----------



## Milo Windby

*Heroes of High Favor: Dwarves*

Just wanted to chime in on the book, Wulf.  It is _excellent_!  I grabbed the _last_ copy off the shelves of our local game store and clutched it all the way to the register, peering left and right to make sure no other greedy patrons would wrest the valuable object from my grasp.

Errrr, yeah.  Anyway...

I like it, I love it, I want the next one.  Dwarves have always been my favorite.  Unfortunately I don't have a dwarven PC right now.  I can now plan a right nasty on with your book though.  My wife does have a dwarf right now, if only we can convince Frog to let your book into the campaign....


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

I'm sure the book signing tour has Wulf all worn out ... it's tough being a celebrity!  

How long until Heroes of Low Favor: Halflings?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Olgar Shiverstone said:
			
		

> *I'm sure the book signing tour has Wulf all worn out ... it's tough being a celebrity!
> 
> How long until Heroes of Low Favor: Halflings? *




Not long... at least not as publishers measure time. 

I hope you all won't be terribly disappointed when the Halflings book rocks the house... I mean, come on, we're talking _rogues_ here. 


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> I hope you all won't be terribly disappointed when the Halflings book rocks the house... I mean, come on, we're talking rogues here. *




Trust Wulf to teach the halflings to be useful...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI*

Back in their room in Rigus, Wulf was having trouble resting. Keldas hadn’t said a peep about his new staff, but it wasn’t as if he was being discreet about it, either-- there commenced a long and, in Wulf’s opinion, overly intimate inspection for what Wulf rightly asserted was a glorified walking stick. Naturally, when the elf volunteered to take a watch, Wulf volunteered to stay up with him. There was a warm spot in his belly nurtured by a healthy paranoia and the thought of having finally put those pricks Rourmed and Engram down for good. 

The thought that Keldas was hiding something was titillating in its own right. Wulf hoped that the daggers he cut with his eyes would appear as no more than his usual disgust, though truthfully he admitted that there was little danger the elf would notice, rapt as he was with his staff. 

The hair stood up on the back of Wulf’s neck and suddenly Keldas was looking into his eyes. “We’re being scried…” Keldas whispered.

“Wake up!” Wulf said-- or at least, he thought he said it, for a surreal, dreamlike state seemed to settle in. There appeared in the center of the room a tall, beautiful winged elf. The archon smiled, raised a long, fluted trumpet to its lips, and blew a shrill note. 

“Yer don’t see that every day…” Wulf thought, as Keldas turned stark white and fled up into the corner of the ceiling, skittering like a spider. Come to think of it, he didn’t feel quite 100% himself. Still not quite sure what was going on-- yet fairly certain it would involve bloodshed-- Wulf downed a _potion of haste_, just in case.

Still wearing the same beatific smile-- no doubt that same smile reserved for the slaughtering of firstborn babes and similar missions-- the archon stretched forth his hand. Wide strokes of lightning leapt from his fingertips and scorched everyone in the room-- everyone, of course, except Wulf, who dodged out of the way, and the paladin’s boy, who seemed immune to its effect.

Without missing a beat, and moving with unearthly speed, the archon’s trumpet suddenly shifted and changed into an enormous greatsword. The archon seemed to laugh just a bit as a black bolt of _destruction_ slithered down the blade and struck the boy full in the chest. Wulf had seen the effect before, and if the boy’s reaction was an indication of the spell being successfully resisted, he had no desire to see the spell’s full force. 

Still not quite sure of himself, Wulf stammered once again for his comrades to get up, all the while pulling darts and daggers from the bandolier on his chest and hurling them ineffectively at the archon. The next moment, a female duergar appeared in the room, _enlarged_ to twice her size and wearing the loose-fitting garb of a monk. Wulf sensed something else out there, as well, lurking invisibly amongst their other foes. 

Karak finally managed to get to his feet, just in time to be set upon by the invisible creatures. Wulf could not see the attackers, but he recognized the arterial spray easily enough: nary a weak spot on Karak’s armor and anatomy was left unbloodied by the attack. The paladin staggered backwards and the boy sprang to his defense, changing form into a young bronze dragon as he positioned himself unerringly between his master and the invisible rogues.

Dorn was awake. Activating his _boots of speed_, he sprang to his feet and cast _destruction_ on the archon-- to absolutely no effect. 

Karak groaned something pitiful and slipped backwards, fumbling desperately to lay his healing hands on himself. Before the young dragon could retreat alongside him, the archon stepped forward and slashed twice across the dragon’s hide, opening deep wounds across his flank.

Wulf wanted nothing to do with the archon; he wondered vaguely if the two invisible rogues were of sufficient skill to bypass his own uncanny reflexes. Never one to take unnecessary chances, he grabbed _Taranak_ in one hand and his chaos mace in the other, and attacked the female duergar.

“Yer gonna like this,” Wulf said, pounding the chaos mace into the monk’s unarmored body. He scored several good hits, sending the duergar into a desperate defense. The monk struck once at Wulf’s chest-- no doubt attempting a stunning strike, for all the good it would do her-- then thought better of that approach. She stepped back and downed a _potion of invisibility_. 

Meanwhile, the rogues were relentless in their assault on the paladin. The dragon did his best to defend him, and the room echoed with screams of pain as its jaws bit down solidly on vulnerable flesh. Dorn rushed to his aid as well, casting a _heal_ spell while swinging away wildly around him. “Fight!” Dorn yelled, trying to spur the paladin into something other than endless retreat.

Karak finally struck out-- a lucky shot. His sword crashed down solidly on the other rogue. Their cries of alarm bought Wulf a little more time as the archon stepped over to deal with the growing scrum of combatants surrounding the paladin. The dark angel first tried to _poison_ the dragon with a spell, and when that failed, resorted once again to his greatsword. That, at least, had the desired effect: Another solid blow, and suddenly the dragon wasn’t looking as if he’d be in the fight for the long haul, either.

Wulf decided he couldn’t wait any longer. He stepped up and hacked away at the archon, landing a solid blow. Almost at once, the cloud of menace and despair that had dogged Wulf's subconscious seemed to lift away on a breeze. _Yeah... I can win this fight._ 

Karak had backed into a corner in some semblance of strategic defense, but to no avail. Still the rogues carved away at him and again the paladin see-sawed from vigorous health to death’s door. The monk appeared once again to attack Wulf, but her fists found nothing but empty air. Wulf was fighting at full strength, now-- and the monk suddenly realized she’d become visible with the first punch. 

Dorn reached out to heal Karak again, shrugged, then made a wild guess at a rogue's location. He slammed his new axe down in a splintering stroke that somehow found its mark. There was a blast of electricity, a puff of ozone, and shards of rogue showered the area. 

“Is he dead?” Karak asked. The archon answered his question by stepping forward into the space just vacated by the slain rogue. 

Keldas chose an opportune moment to join the fight. Two summoned archons of his own joined the fray, bobbing forward to attack the dark archon. “I think, brothers, you should return home,” the dark archon boasted.

“Eat sword,” they responded.

Things were looking up, but the party was not ready for one last trick of evil. From across the room one last invisible rogue finally acted, stepping forward to thrust a blade between Keldas’ ribs. Keldas body stiffened as poison took hold; he was paralyzed almost instantly.

The duergar monk assessed the new development and acted with practiced precision. She ran to join the rogue, grabbed Keldas, and together they all teleported away. The dark archon didn’t wait long before he, too, teleported away, taking the rest of their strike force with them. “Another time…”

“Sons of…” Wulf growled. “Gah!” 

He grabbed a ring from the finger of the fallen rogue and tried desperately to get it working. There was a brief spark, followed by not-so-brief cursing. What did he hope to accomplish? Wulf’s frustration threatened to overwhelm his usual good sense.

“Let’s go!” said the paladin. “We’ve got to rescue Keldas!”

“Screw it,” said Wulf. “They must’ve took him alive for a reason. Either he’ll get himself out of it, or we’ll just have to go get him tomorrow. Put it on my friggin’ schedule.”

“Right…” agreed Dorn. “Let’s loot this body, and identify what we can.”

“I’ll tell yer one thing,” Wulf said, nursing his sore finger. “When I get this ring of invisibility workin’, some bastard’s gonna pay.”


----------



## Hammerhead

The Tuskan Raiders, I see? Sucks for you. 

Why is Karak so freakin' useless?


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Hammerhead said:
			
		

> *Why is Karak so freakin' useless? *




Seems to me that Keldas was actually the least effectual this time.  Which is certainly a switch.

Looking back at the last couple entries together, I can definitely see Dinkledog living up to his reputation as a rat-bastard DM.

I can't wait to see where this is going.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Hammerhead said:
			
		

> *Why is Karak so freakin' useless? *




No _moo mundred_ hit points, for starters.

But in all fairness, he has really high AC-- that's his forte, really-- and under the same circumstances, against those rogues, anybody else would have been dead. Tough to say whether AC or HP would pull you through that meatgrinder.

On the other hand, ask me in a less forgiving mood, and I might make a strong argument that it's the _player's_ cowardly heart that makes the _character_ so useless. When the threat of character death looms, he'll find some useless, sniveling, cowardly response.

I might make that argument, I say, some other time.


Wulf


----------



## Capellan

Hammerhead said:
			
		

> *Why is Karak so freakin' useless? *




Well, he _did_ keep two high-level and invisible rogues busy for the whole fight.  I'd consider this a valuable contribution, were I one of the PCs spared the rogues' attentions.

But then, I see the primary usefulness of the _summon monster_ spells to be that they provide something else for the monsters to hit, instead of PCs.  If the summoned creatures actually do some damage in the process, that's just an added bonus


----------



## Hammerhead

Karak was only able to hit something ONCE, by my recollection. And he is a mainline, all paladin, "tank." Don't you guys keep GMWs running fulltime, to increase your attack?

What is Karak's AC? It always seems like he's getting smacked around, and constantly requires the attention of Dorn. Or maybe he keeps getting hit with energy blasts.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Hammerhead said:
			
		

> *Karak was only able to hit something ONCE, by my recollection. And he is a mainline, all paladin, "tank."*




Good Wulf: Well, yeah, but he was in a corner with nothing to swing at but invisible foes. Give him credit for the one hit (it was a crit, too!)

Bad Wulf: On the other hand, he only TRIED to swing at the enemy once, invisible or not. The rest of the time he was screamin' like a girl.



> *Don't you guys keep GMWs running fulltime, to increase your attack?*




Good Wulf: No, though we cast them often in this adventure just so that we had a chance of hitting all the DR+4 creatures dinkeldog throws at us. 

Bad Wulf: And it never occurred to us that it was boosting our BAB and damage. How sad is that? Maybe he ought to throw a couple of +4 weapons into the treasure every now and then, huh?



> *What is Karak's AC? It always seems like he's getting smacked around, and constantly requires the attention of Dorn. *




Good Wulf: In the 35-42 range I'd say. It's variable. Depends on whether or not he has _haste_ going.

Bad Wulf: Oh, it's variable all right. It's inversely proportional to his current hit points:

dinkeldog: "What do you mean a 34 misses? Your AC is 35? But I hit you last round..." 

Karak: "Oh, sorry... you did? I guess it does hit then. I must have added wrong."


----------



## Halma

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Karak: "Oh, sorry... you did? I guess it does hit then. I must have added wrong." *




We all used to chalk it up as Halfling mathematics, but now we really think that he just says a number out load, the first one that pops in his head, and it's usually larger than it really is...

Karak:  "Boo yaaa,  I hit 50 AC!!!!! Eat that Dinkledog...!!!!"
Karak:  "150 Damage!!!!! Hueheheheh!!!"

Dinkledog: "How in the hell did you Hit 50 AC, and do 150 points of Damage?"

Karak:  "I get +10 for this, I get +5 for this, I rolled a 15..... oh I mean 30.... sorry.  My Damage  I have +10 for this, +20 for that, +15 for this and I rolled an 8......ahhh I guess its only 53, sorry.

The rest of us throw our hands up in disgust including Dink...

Halma


----------



## Metus

Surely it isn't THAT bad.  I've actually started to grow fond of Karak.  I actually thought he seemed, personality-wise, to be a better paladin when he was an aaismar.  Nevertheless, at the very least it adds some spice to have someone in the party who's hesitant to fight, right?


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Me thinks you need to start sleeping with a duration extended dimensional anchor. Your scrying foes won't know it is there until it they try to teleport in, at that point it is already too late.


----------



## Eridanis

Metus said:
			
		

> *Surely it isn't THAT bad.  I've actually started to grow fond of Karak.  I actually thought he seemed, personality-wise, to be a better paladin when he was an aaismar.  Nevertheless, at the very least it adds some spice to have someone in the party who's hesitant to fight, right? *




Arguably; but this is the party *paladin* we're talking about. Paladins live to be at the front of the battle (and sometime die there, too). Paladins don't wuss out and cry like a girl when battle comes. Not even girl paladins cry like a girl when battle comes. Sheesh.


----------



## Numion

Halma said:
			
		

> *
> Karak:  "I get +10 for this, I get +5 for this, I rolled a 15..... oh I mean 30.... sorry.  My Damage  I have +10 for this, +20 for that, +15 for this and I rolled an 8......ahhh I guess its only 53, sorry.
> 
> The rest of us throw our hands up in disgust including Dink...
> *




We have a player almost like this. He adds his characters LEVEL to many rolls where you're not supposed to. At high level games it's a pretty big difference. The players who try to get the biggest advantage are another chapter unto their own. ("is the golem a giant?", for example, to get the Dwarf ac bonus. I've been asked that for about 100 times. )


----------



## Nail

Canis said:
			
		

> *Looking back at the last couple entries together, I can definitely see Dinkledog living up to his reputation as a rat-bastard DM.*




Looks like "get attacked in your sleep/safe house" is the flavor of th' month amongst story hour DMs.......


----------



## KidCthulhu

I wondered when Dinkledog was going to turn the "scry/teleport/kick ass" tables on you.  Good for you, DD.  

Sorry about Kheldas, though.  Hope he at least gets a T-shirt.


----------



## coyote6

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> *Sorry about Kheldas, though.  Hope he at least gets a T-shirt. *




They have two versions of the "lousy t-shirt" t-shirt to choose from:

Front: "Imperagon stole my staff, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
Back: "And 15d6 damage. Twice."

and

Front: "I went to the Iron Fortress, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
Back: "And an evil archon's sword in the face."


----------



## Urbanmech

Ambushes suck, they suck even worse when you are out of spells and trying to get some sleep.  Quite a bit of fun to read about though.  

It sounds like your paladin is somewhat like the Bladesinger in our game.  If an enemy has displacement up he won't even bother to swing at it due to the miss chance.  Sounds like Karak had the same issue, though things with invisibility are a bit harder to target.  But being backed into a corner really doens't leave you that many spaces to choose to attack.

It should be interesting to see how the group does without their transmuter artillery.  I do hope he gets a t-shirt, maybe a magical "I'm with stupid" shirt with an arrow that always points to the Paladin.


----------



## drnuncheon

Nail said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Looks like "get attacked in your sleep/safe house" is the flavor of th' month amongst story hour DMs....... *




Hmm.

Clearly I need to get busy.

J


----------



## Jeremy

I got to attack my players' safehouse this month.  But it wasn't my idea and they weren't in it at the time.

Makes for interesting teleports when the party forms an image in their head of a place that no longer exists...


----------



## Immort

Fer lovin' God, i wuz startin' ta think yer wuzn't gunna ever update agin.  On one hand, I gotta frown at the nastiness of Dink's activities.  On the other hand, that's whut yer deserves fer all them wussy scry teleport attacks.  Anyhow, good ta hear yer agin.

-Immort


----------



## jonrog1

What, you think just because you give us sneak-teleporting evil archons, kidnapped party members and wussy paladins, we're going to forget how long it took you to update?

Errr ... okay.


----------



## Horacio

jonrog1 said:
			
		

> *What, you think just because you give us sneak-teleporting evil archons, kidnapped party members and wussy paladins, we're going to forget how long it took you to update? *




Once again, it worked for me...


----------



## Milo Windby

Halma said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Karak:  "Boo yaaa,  I hit 50 AC!!!!! Eat that Dinkledog...!!!!"
> Karak:  "150 Damage!!!!! Hueheheheh!!!"
> 
> Dinkledog: "How in the hell did you Hit 50 AC, and do 150 points of Damage?"
> 
> Karak:  "I get +10 for this, I get +5 for this, I rolled a 15..... oh I mean 30.... sorry.  My Damage  I have +10 for this, +20 for that, +15 for this and I rolled an 8......ahhh I guess its only 53, sorry.
> 
> The rest of us throw our hands up in disgust including Dink...
> *




Between this and the single attack he made during the last fight I have to ask you a very serious question:

Why do you even play with this guy???

I don't even know how that can happen.  You're in a fight, you have X amount of choices to make, doing nothing a far cry from the top of the list, and yet that's exactly what you do?  I don't care how close to death you are, if you don't have a choice, then fight back.  Yeeeeesh.  There would be much muttering of frustration at our table if one of the PCs acted like this. Not to mention a stern talking to from the other PCs and probably an ultimatum thrown in for good measure.  Something to the effect of "Shape up or you're not welcome to play with us anymore."

Ok, I'm done venting.  I'm not even in the game and I feel like I have to vent, how sad is that?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Milo Windby said:
			
		

> *Why do you even play with this guy???*




Aww, come on. He's funny.

Wulf


----------



## Vargo

We had a guy like that in our games, that we also kept around for entertainment value.  He'd always, always, ALWAYS play CN or E Half-Orc assassins if he could get away with it.   I didn't particularly like him, but the DM did - not enough to keep his character from being whacked when inevitably he turned on us, but he liked him.  

Poor sap had a CHA worse than a 1/2O, too.


----------



## Thorntangle

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Aww, come on. He's funny. *



That he is. The story hour wouldn't be quite the same without him.

He hasn't posted in a while. Is he still reading the story hour?


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Thorntangle said:
			
		

> *He hasn't posted in a while. Is he still reading the story hour? *




I almost hope he isn't.  People have been a little nasty to him lately.  Especially considering we get the story filtered through Wulf the character, who, while a superior dwarf in many respects, is a little biased when it comes to halflings, paladins, and the gods.


----------



## Rackhir

Milo Windby said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Between this and the single attack he made during the last fight I have to ask you a very serious question:
> 
> Why do you even play with this guy???
> *




Come on Wulf without the peck/assmar, is like Blackadder without Baldrick. Sure he's smelly, disgusting and has the IQ of a brain damaged rock, but without him he'd have nobody to casually abuse or make sarcastic comments about. And where would Wulf be without his "clever plans".


----------



## drnuncheon

Milo Windby said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Between this and the single attack he made during the last fight I have to ask you a very serious question:
> 
> Why do you even play with this guy???
> *




It's been my experience that some (possibly even most) groups need a 'low man' on the totem pole, a sort of 'omega wolf' that everybody tends to gang up on - it keeps the rest of them from going after each other too badly.  I definitely saw this in my college group, and I've heard of gaming groups that disintegrated in a mass of infighting when the low man left, silly as that sounds.

Might be the case with Wulf's group, might just be a crackpot theory.

J


----------



## Victim

drnuncheon said:
			
		

> *
> 
> It's been my experience that some (possibly even most) groups need a 'low man' on the totem pole, a sort of 'omega wolf' that everybody tends to gang up on - it keeps the rest of them from going after each other too badly.  I definitely saw this in my college group, and I've heard of gaming groups that disintegrated in a mass of infighting when the low man left, silly as that sounds.
> 
> Might be the case with Wulf's group, might just be a crackpot theory.
> 
> J *




Wow, I think our group has a similar character.


----------



## Milo Windby

*Ok, points taken*

Alright, alright, all very good points.  Wulf truly wouldn't be the same without a foil.  Maybe that's one of the reasons I don't get as many hits on my story hour...no interesting repartee or clashes.  

Still, I've gotta feel bad for the rest of the group when the peck/pally screws them over yet again.  When you've got a player like that it's like the CR of every encounter is effectively raised just by his ineptitude/unwillingness to contribute.

I concede to the superior wisdom of the others posting, but I still harbor a pearl of frustration when it comes to the omega wolf.


----------



## Dinkeldog

The biggest reason we play with Korak's player is because we like him.  There are things about him that are absolutely maddening, but he's a good guy above and beyond all that.  He also plays a pretty good paladin--maybe not perfect, but I still haven't dug up the Deed of Paksennarion and given it to him (my Paladin's Handbook), so I give a bit of leeway.


----------



## drnuncheon

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *I still haven't dug up the Deed of Paksennarion and given it to him (my Paladin's Handbook)*




Excellent choice.  It's required reading for paladins in my games, too.  Or it would be, if anybody played paladins.

J


----------



## Despaxas

Woohooo, just finished reading it all, great story.

And while I'm at it: Lay of the Paladin! Paladin's already have a tough enough life without everybody bashing them. I know, I played one (got screwed by the party rogue without my character even knowing it), but they are fun 

Seriously though, he doesn't seem that bad, he fights bravely alongside of the rest of the party. So maybe he's not the greates with calculations (reminds me of me I guess, I had the same problem while playing my Pally, just too many damned modifiers  )

Anyways keep up the good work Wulf.


----------



## Nail

Despaxas said:
			
		

> *.....I had the same problem while playing my Pally, just too many damned modifiers .,..*




..Which is why you (-ahem-) add them up before hand.......

And Milo: Deep breaths, buddy.  No foil, no Wulf.  Simple enough.


----------



## Halma

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *The biggest reason we play with Korak's player is because we like him.  There are things about him that are absolutely maddening, but he's a good guy above and beyond all that.  He also plays a pretty good paladin--maybe not perfect, but I still haven't dug up the Deed of Paksennarion and given it to him (my Paladin's Handbook), so I give a bit of leeway. *




Tis true... Tis true...  If he wasn't such a nice guy I don't think this whole thing would be an issue at all...  We are very harsh on him during our game (and off) but sometimes it's warranted other times not so. The player takes the abuse we dish out better than the rest of the party would, and certainly better than I would.  I mean come on after having his peck killed by Wulf (warranted or not) he harbors no bad feelings.  That is a great testament to him. We are trying to train him to be a better player sometimes it strains our abilities.  

"No you don't want to take the _+5 vorpal, holy, throwing, returning, Keen, Intelligent, life stealing, blinding, Long Sword of the Ancients _"

"Why not?"

"Because it throws off the balance of the game"

"What's balance?"

Wulf and Korak's relationship is like Charlie Brown and Lucy.  Korak is Charlie Brown......

Wulf:  "I'll hold the frigg'n football, hehehehehehe"




Halma


----------



## Milo Windby

Halma said:
			
		

> *Wulf and Korak's relationship is like Charlie Brown and Lucy.  Korak is Charlie Brown......
> 
> Wulf:  "I'll hold the frigg'n football, hehehehehehe"*




That was put succinctly, Halma (or do you prefer Shorty?).  I suppose I misunderstood from past readings, I thought you all had issues with him in real life too.  When friends get together it's all good.

Oh, and Nail.  I'm okay now.  Breathing, counting to ten, finding my happy place...


----------



## Horacio

Halma said:
			
		

> *
> Wulf and Korak's relationship is like Charlie Brown and Lucy.  Korak is Charlie Brown......
> 
> Wulf:  "I'll hold the frigg'n football, hehehehehehe"
> *




Are you saying that Wulf is Lucy? :eek


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

It's a disturbing image, isn't it?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Horacio said:
			
		

> *Are you saying that Wulf is Lucy? :eek  *




Better Lucy than a big Nancy.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Canis said:
			
		

> *It's a disturbing image, isn't it? *




Ohh, yes.

See, what we need now is for Ancalagon to step in with a timely illustration.


Wulf


----------



## Dinkeldog

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Better Lucy than a big Nancy. *




I've heard your singing voice.  We're all better off.



> As long as he needs me...
> Oh, yes, he does need me...
> In spite of what you see...
> ...I'm sure that he needs me.
> 
> Who else would love him still
> When they've been used so ill?
> He knows I always will...
> As long as he needs me.
> 
> I miss him so much when he is gone,
> But when he's near me
> I don't let on...
> 
> ...The way I feel inside.
> The love, I have to hide...
> The hell! I've got my pride
> As long as he needs me.
> 
> He doesn't say the things he should.
> He acts the way he thinks he should.
> But all the same,
> I'll play
> This game
> His way.
> 
> As long as he needs me...
> I know where I must be.
> I'll cling on steadfastly...
> As long as he needs me.
> 
> As long as life is long...
> I'll love him right or wrong,
> And somehow, I'll be strong...
> As long as he needs me.
> 
> If you are lonely
> Then you will know...
> 
> When someone needs you,
> You love them so.
> 
> I won't betray his trust...
> Though people say I must.
> 
> I've got to stay true, just
> As long as he needs me.




(from Oliver!)


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Ohh, yes.
> 
> See, what we need now is for Ancalagon to step in with a timely illustration.*



My mind's eye is bad enough, thanks.

Wulf, dark brown pigtails sticking out from under a helmet, holds the football out with one hand... and clutches Taranak behind his back with the other...

Karak, a look of determination screwed to his face, his yellow cloak of charisma with the black zig-zag streaming behind him, charges the ball.

"I'm SO gonna kick that ball this time."

_SWOOOSH!_

"Wauuuuuuugh!"

*THUD!*

Thunk!

Wulf wipes Taranak on the cloak as he gets to his feet.

"Hey, Dorn, I think the Assmar needs another _Resurrection_."


----------



## Halma

Canis said:
			
		

> *
> My mind's eye is bad enough, thanks.
> 
> Wulf, dark brown pigtails sticking out from under a helmet, holds the football out with one hand... and clutches Taranak behind his back with the other...
> 
> Karak, a look of determination screwed to his face, his yellow cloak of charisma with the black zig-zag streaming behind him, charges the ball.
> 
> "I'm SO gonna kick that ball this time."
> 
> SWOOOSH!
> 
> "Wauuuuuuugh!"
> 
> THUD!
> 
> 
> Thunk!
> 
> Wulf wipes Taranak on the cloak as he gets to his feet.
> 
> "Hey, Dorn, I think the Assmar needs another Resurrection." *




LOL  ROTFL!!!!


You forgot the Blue Dress.....

Boy this has turned into something I didn't quite expect. Thanks for the groovy allusion......!!!


Halma


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Halma said:
			
		

> *You forgot the Blue Dress..... *




There's only so far I'm willing to go, after all.

I'm an open-minded guy, but cross-dressing _dwarves_ give me the heebie-jeebies.


----------



## coyote6

Canis said:
			
		

> *I'm an open-minded guy, but cross-dressing dwarves give me the heebie-jeebies.  *




If dwarven women have beards, then a cross-dressing dwarf isn't going to be all that unusual looking. I mean, he'll just look like any other lovely dwarf maiden, right? 

You know, Wulf, there's only one way to stop this little slide -- update! 

BTW, my copy of HoHF:HO should arrive at the FSLGS this evening, UPS willing. If I'd finished the adventure for tomorrow earlier in the week, I could pick it up tonight! D'oh. Sunday...


----------



## Horacio

I agree, only an update can delete from my mind the image of a Dwarf in a blue dress...


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Horacio said:
			
		

> *I agree, only an update can delete from my mind the image of a Dwarf in a blue dress... *



We're trying to spur him to action.  We should make him _want_ us to stop picturing.  If that's the case, drop the generic dwarf and picture _Wulf_ in the blue dress.

If the thought of dozens of people picturing him in a blue dress doesn't light a fire under him, I don't know what will.


----------



## Horacio

Wulf with his bronw pigtails sticking out from under a helmet frqming his beard, and his cute blue dress under the armor....


----------



## Halma

*You all asked for you it...*

You got it...


----------



## Horacio

Oh my God! 

That image will haunt me in my dreams for years!


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

::sighs::

I guess a picture _is_ worth 1000 words  

On the upside, that's a classic.

Where IS Wulf hiding from all this?


----------



## Horacio

I think he's asking Snoopy's advise...


----------



## Milo Windby

Horacio said:
			
		

> *I think he's asking Snoopy's advise... *



Snoopy, or Peppermint Patty?  Who would that be?  Dorn?

Dorn: Uh, hello sir.  What seems to be the problem?

Wulf: I need another resurrection so Korak can kick the football.

Dorn: Yes sir, coming right up sir.

Wulf: And stop calling me sir!


----------



## Horacio

Milo Windby said:
			
		

> *
> Snoopy, or Peppermint Patty?  Who would that be?  Dorn?
> 
> Dorn: Uh, hello sir.  What seems to be the problem?
> 
> Wulf: I need another resurrection so Korak can kick the football.
> 
> Dorn: Yes sir, coming right up sir.
> 
> Wulf: And stop calling me sir! *





Shouldn't Dorn say _madam_ instead of _sir_. Lucy would get angry if Dorn call her sir...


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

Milo, I think you've got Peppermint Patty confused with Marcie.  

So, now we've got Karak as Charlie Brown to Wulf's Lucy.

And Dorn as Marcie to Wulf's Peppermint Patty.

Wulf's diverse, ain't he?

I might point out that both Marcie and Peppermint Patty were in love with Charlie Brown.  That would sure put a weird spin on the situation.

Yep, just might point that out.  Maybe.


----------



## Halma

*Peanuts*

Just thought if you guys are all picking peanuts characters for my Crew then Shorty gets to be Woodstock  !!!!

Dinkledog is one of the Voiceless teachers "Wha,Wha, Wha...Wha...Wha Wha wha...."

Keldas... I still haven't figured him out yet.

Boy this is getting bad.

Halma


----------



## Jeremy Ackerman-Yost

*Re: Peanuts*



			
				Halma said:
			
		

> *Boy this is getting bad.*




We're just trying to rattle Wulf's cage so he feeds us some more Story 

He did make us wait a while for that last installment, after all


----------



## Rodrigo

*Odd*

(from Oliver!)

__________________
Cry Havoc and let slip the Dog of war.




You don't see those 2 phrases used together very often.


----------



## Milo Windby

Canis said:
			
		

> *Milo, I think you've got Peppermint Patty confused with Marcie.
> *



D'oh!  You're right.  Bad Milo, no cookie.

I may be disagreed on this point, but I'd have to put Keldas in Snoopy's shoes.  As of late in the story hour he's been really quiet (almost mute, one would say) and he's always pulling out the imaginary roles (Joe Cool = Umber Hulk).

Okay, okay, I'm stretching it a bit.  Any other ideas?  Or maybe an update from Wulf?


----------



## Bronz Dragon

*Another Lucy*

The first thing I thought of when I saw this (pea)nutty chunk of thread was:

"Wulf, yoof got some 'splaining to do"

"Bite me arse, ye mincing fop"

Not terribly funny, I know, but I got a chuckle out of it.


----------



## Plane Sailing

I would strongly recommend that Dorn took the time to Hallow their sleeping area, and attach Dimensional Anchor to it, to block anything of evil alignment (or non-good alignment if possible with this party).

You know it makes sense!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *I would strongly recommend that Dorn took the time to Hallow their sleeping area, and attach Dimensional Anchor to it, to block anything of evil alignment (or non-good alignment if possible with this party).
> 
> You know it makes sense! *




From a game mechanic point of view, it makes perfect sense.

However as a group we decided that for both good guys and bad guys, it doesn't make much roleplaying sense for all the clerics to make holy sites out of anywhere they happen to bed down.

"Is our room in the inn safe?"

"Yep, I hallowed it."

"Well, I'm just about to nip outside to the crapper..."

"No problem, I hallowed that, too."

"Holy crap."

"Indeed."


Wulf


----------



## Milo Windby

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> "Well, I'm just about to nip outside to the crapper..."
> 
> "No problem, I hallowed that, too."
> 
> "Holy crap."
> 
> "Indeed."
> *




So does this mean the badguys have _unholy_ crap?


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> From a game mechanic point of view, it makes perfect sense.
> 
> However as a group we decided that for both good guys and bad guys, it doesn't make much roleplaying sense for all the clerics to make holy sites out of anywhere they happen to bed down.*




I take your point  The spell probably ought to have an additional component which makes it appropriate for holiness or something.

What seems to me a startling ommission in the arcane spell list is any effective way for arcane casters to make a lasting protection on a place in a similar vein. Are there *any* arcane methods to give protection against scrying or teleporting into an area? "Guards and Wards" should probably have been an obvious candidate.

Defence against scry+teleport  would seem an obvious defensive tactic to use for all high level PC's and NPC's in the same way that low level PC's cast alarm and set watches at night!

Cheers (& nice to meet you BTW!)


----------



## dpdx

*Don't have my PHB handy, but...*

Doesn't it take a *day* to Hallow some place, according to normal game mechanics?


----------



## Dinkeldog

Hallow requires a day.  Forbiddance only takes 6 rounds, but it's pricy, too.


----------



## Milo Windby

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *I would strongly recommend that Dorn took the time to Hallow their sleeping area, and attach Dimensional Anchor to it, to block anything of evil alignment (or non-good alignment if possible with this party).*



As far as I know the _Hallow_ spell just acts as a year-long area-of-affect _protection from evil_.  Evil beings can enter an _hallowed_ site just as good beings can enter _unhallowed_ sites.  They just have penalties applied.  _Hallow_ adds to turn checks, prohibits undead raising and adds an optional spell effect as well, but I think _forbiddance_ is what you're really going for here.


----------



## Squire James

Hallow (and Unhallow) allow for a 1st-3rd level divine spell with a duration to apply as an additional effect for anyone of certain alignment in the area.

Dimensional Anchor is iffy, because it requires an attack roll and it is unfair to assume that it automatically hits.  Even if you do allow it, though, it would only stop stuff going OUT, not in.  I'm not sure it's on the normal cleric list (I think it's on the Trickery list), but Non-detection would be a better choice.  If the Scry doesn't work, the whole trick kinda fails.


----------



## Plane Sailing

From the SRD (my emphasis)



> Spell effects that may be tied to a hallow site include aid, bane, bless, cause fear, darkness, daylight, deeper darkness, detect evil, detect magic, *dimensional anchor*, discern lies, dispel magic, endure elements, freedom of movement, invisibility purge, negative energy protection, protection from elements, remove fear, resist elements, silence, tongues, and zone of truth. Spell resistance might apply to these spells’ effects. (See the individual spell descriptions for details.)




Cheers


----------



## shilsen

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *What seems to me a startling ommission in the arcane spell list is any effective way for arcane casters to make a lasting protection on a place in a similar vein. Are there *any* arcane methods to give protection against scrying or teleporting into an area? "Guards and Wards" should probably have been an obvious candidate.
> 
> Defence against scry+teleport  would seem an obvious defensive tactic to use for all high level PC's and NPC's in the same way that low level PC's cast alarm and set watches at night!
> 
> Cheers (& nice to meet you BTW!) *




T&B has a 5th lvl arcane spell called Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum which blocks magical scrying & divination attempts into a particular area for 24 hrs.


----------



## Meds

*Stop the Haiku Nightmares*

Can't... help... myself...


  Snakes under my hat?
  Pennies in your pantyhose
  Or pleased to meet me?

  Post an update, Wulf.
  Free my mind from dang haikus.
  (Bumpity bump bump.)


----------



## Galfridus

As I recall, if you tie a spell to Hallow, it becomes expensive (something like 1K per spell level), making it less practical for "temporary" use.


----------



## Victim

Hallow also has a very long casting time that makes it impractical for short term protection.  Of course, we already knew that from Speaker.

Static Veil in BoEM raises the scrying DC by 1 per caster level for an hour per level.  It's only second level and is a useful, although not fool-proof counter to scrying.


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Yep, and it sounds as broken as most of the other stuff in that book. Monte really went overboard with that PDF.




			
				Victim said:
			
		

> *Static Veil in BoEM raises the scrying DC by 1 per caster level for an hour per level.  It's only second level and is a useful, although not fool-proof counter to scrying. *


----------



## Jeremy

If you say so.  Increasing the scry DC is good and all but there is still a good chance a higher level caster will make the check.

Considering how prevalent Scry/Teleport raids are, anything that makes either more difficult is good in my book.

I mean come on.. DC 10 to scry someone you've seen before?  I can make that just on INT much less ranks...  Besides, the spell is stationary (it doesn't move with you), and until you are 8th-10th level it won't even last through the night.  "Broken" is a word best saved for Shadow Storm and Titan's Strength.


----------



## Vymair

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *If you say so.  Increasing the scry DC is good and all but there is still a good chance a higher level caster will make the check.
> 
> I mean come on.. DC 10 to scry someone you've seen before?  I can make that just on INT much less ranks...  Besides, the spell is stationary (it doesn't move with you), and until you are 8th-10th level it won't even last through the night.  "Broken" is a word best saved for Shadow Storm and Titan's Strength. *




It's worse than that.  Why not just take 10.  It's automatic.  This is why I'm upping the difficulty for scrying (as a house rule) in my next game.


----------



## Nail

After th' experiences in Wulf's story hour, I'd imagine quite a few DMs will be looking over the _scry - teleport_ combo.  I will, that's fer sure.

Looking over at th' Rules forum, as well as the House Rules and General forum here on ENBoards, it seems this is a systemic 3e problem.  It's just *way* too easy to scry someone without much in the way of repercusions or "disads."  Virtually no defences in th' Core Rules, either.

I'd vote fer making Scry (and equivalents) much harder skill checks(a la SKR's article), and add in some substantial defensive spells and (wit' a tip o' th' helm to Wulf) _"new uses for old skills"_.

Hey, "Hide" has got t' be useful fer something at high levels.  Why not as a defence against scrying?  Hiding is as much a mental as physical discipline........Scry tries to magically "find" you, and you try to "hide".


----------



## Victim

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *If you say so.  Increasing the scry DC is good and all but there is still a good chance a higher level caster will make the check.
> 
> Considering how prevalent Scry/Teleport raids are, anything that makes either more difficult is good in my book.
> 
> I mean come on.. DC 10 to scry someone you've seen before?  I can make that just on INT much less ranks...  Besides, the spell is stationary (it doesn't move with you), and until you are 8th-10th level it won't even last through the night.  "Broken" is a word best saved for Shadow Storm and Titan's Strength. *




Yes, scrying is so easy that you can get away with putting only a handful of ranks into it.

That's exactly why increasing the DC can be effective.  It prevents casual scrying, like from my cleric with +5 scrying.  I admit that increasing the DC, even by 20, won't help much against someone with maximum ranks in scry though.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

There's nothing wrong with Scry, certainly nothing wrong with Static Veil.

My fix would be to change teleport to read more like dimension door: Once you cross through, you cannot take any other action for a full round until you get your orientation.

I'd give the folks on the receiving end a Spot check (DC20) to act during that brief moment. They may or may not be surprised, but they would not be disoriented.

And as the DM my first action would probably be a big blanket _dispel magic_ to take out all the buffs. 

Then it's GAME ON!


Wulf

PS-- Don't forget the important role of Forbiddance in protecting the evil hideout.


----------



## Destil

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *There's nothing wrong with Scry, certainly nothing wrong with Static Veil.
> 
> My fix would be to change teleport to read more like dimension door: Once you cross through, you cannot take any other action for a full round until you get your orientation.
> 
> I'd give the folks on the receiving end a Spot check (DC20) to act during that brief moment. They may or may not be surprised, but they would not be disoriented.
> 
> And as the DM my first action would probably be a big blanket dispel magic to take out all the buffs.
> 
> Then it's GAME ON!
> 
> 
> Wulf
> 
> PS-- Don't forget the important role of Forbiddance in protecting the evil hideout. *



I've applied a very similar fix, myself, to _Teleport_, in order to stop a 5th level spell from being so umber for rading and bring it down to more of a travel spell:

_Teleport_: Three rounds before you arrive a faint arcane/psionic beacon/display appears at your destination (Spot check DC 25), and on the following round it flares & glows brightly, becoming completely obvious to anyone (Spot DC 0). A successful spellcraft check / psicraft check (DC 15 + spell level for during the faint round and 10 + spell level during the flaring round) allows you to identify the spell or power, if you beat the DC by 20 or higher you're also aware of the exact location being teleported from, reletive to the destination. This beacon can be taken down with a targeted dispel or negation, rebounding those teleported back to their initial location and dealing them 1d10 damage. Unless the beacon goes unnoticed everyone aware of the teleportation in the area, may act in a suprise round.

(The problem is also helped quite a bit by a varity of spells in the book of Elderitch Might & psionic powers in the PsiHB. I suppose the problem became appearant after the Core rules were done, or was a Sacred Cow issue.)


----------



## Bronz Dragon

There are also nasty little tricks like a wondrous item that glows whenever a scrying spell is targeted within a certain radius and points in the direction of a magic disturbance (Detect Scrying, Detect Magic), such as teleport.  Nice little early warning system.

Not sure what it would cost, but when you start getting into higher level encounters involving spellcasters, it's definitely worth the peace of mind. 

'course, DMs will only be able to use this trick once or twice before the party is swimming in anti-scrying devices.  However, you could also start up a little war with a cult of some god who confers the trickery domain.   (I tried it once, but didn't plan it out well enough)

Cheers


----------



## Plane Sailing

The "solution" I plan for my campaign is a different, slight change to teleport (which I've seen mentioned by someone on ENworld, but I don't know who).

Teleport routes people through the timeless astral plane and this makes all current spell durations expire.

This means that scry + teleport will work, but buff+scry+teleport so you arrive all buffed up *won't* work, which seems one of the really big problems to me.

Cheers


----------



## JacktheRabbit

Yes the spell is stationary. What does this matter when you cast it at night before bedding down?

Also a party should not have to worry about sry/teleport attacks this they are about 8th level or more. At that level the spell will last through the night.




			
				Jeremy said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I mean come on.. DC 10 to scry someone you've seen before?  I can make that just on INT much less ranks...  Besides, the spell is stationary (it doesn't move with you), and until you are 8th-10th level it won't even last through the night.  "Broken" is a word best saved for Shadow Storm and Titan's Strength. *


----------



## JacktheRabbit

I disagree completely. Static Veil someone said was 2nd level and last 1 hour per level. On the other hand Detect Scry is 4th level. I think it is a bit unbalanced at 1/2 the level of detect scry.

Also scrying itself is a 4th level spell. How often is the defense again an spell another spell that is half its level?





			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *There's nothing wrong with Scry, certainly nothing wrong with Static Veil.
> 
> Wulf
> 
> PS-- Don't forget the important role of Forbiddance in protecting the evil hideout. *


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *I disagree completely. Static Veil someone said was 2nd level and last 1 hour per level. *




So does Bull's Strength and most of the buff spells. I don't think it's even a close comparison as to which is more useful. Not even in the same friggin ballpark.



> *How often is the defense again an spell another spell that is half its level? *




The defense should always be lower level than the offense. Always. Remove Fear vs. Fear, Death Ward vs. Death Spells, etc.

Wulf


----------



## Victim

It's hardly a fool proof defense, like people have pointed out.  Think of as the Endure Elements that helps out against the fireball.  If you take a 5d6 fireball and save for half, the endure elements almost completely negates.  On the other hand, when getting attacked by an expert, it won't make much of a difference.

Also, Detect Scrying doesn't make scrying more difficult - it detects scrying, and can give some info on the scryer.  Static Veil doesn't alert anyone to scrying or allow counter scrying.  If you're quick, you can set use use the information from detect scrying to teleport to the scryer's location.  Maybe you could preempt his attack and catch him off guard, or teleport to his place after he teleports to you.

Another interesting way to negate scrying teleport attacks would be to remove the image of the scried person from the surroundings.  You see the person, but can't see the area well enough for teleports.  You'd need higher level magics to set up a teleport attack.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Returning home to the Forge, they scried on Keldas at the first opportunity.

He was bound with thick chains, spread-eagled between two sturdy columns in what appeared to be Imperagon’s war room. A gag was in his mouth-- yet, he was awake, and apparently cogent.

Looking around, Dorn could see curtains at both ends of the room. Imperagon was there, seated in a throne, his allies arrayed around him: the duergar monk, the dark archon, a cloud giant with a cryohydra pet. An old woman stood near Imperagon, clutching Keldas’ staff. They also saw a kyton, and now noticed the chains hanging from every surface. 

“We need to buy ourselves some rust monsters,” Wulf suggested. “Any ideas?”

“We’re gonna need a miracle,” Dorn said, looking at the Old Man. “What’s it gonna cost us?”

 “This time, fourteen-thousand.”

Wulf rolled his eyes. “Hey, thanks for the discount. We’ll keep it simple, then; an easy miracle. Just remove the gag from his mouth-- nice and easy.”

The gag slipped away ever so slightly. Acting quickly, Keldas spoke the words to invoke a _teleport_. They saw him disappear, and moments later he appeared beside them.

“Welcome home,” Wulf said.

“They got my staff…”

“Am I gonna have to tie that thing to yer mitten strings?”

“Wanna hit them now while they’re all gathered up?” asked Dorn. 

Wulf thought about the chains on the walls, and how effective his party of spellcasters would be, bound up and grappled by the kyton. “I’d rather not.”

“We can’t enter directly, at any rate,” Keldas advised them. “The place is sealed with _forbiddance_. It is proof against ingoing _teleport_.”

Dorn nodded. “We likely won’t be able to enter at all unless we’re evil. The spell will hedge out good-- or anyone not of Imperagon’s ethos.”

“That can’t be right,” Wulf said. “Surely he has to be able to receive visitors. He’s a businessman, after all.”

Dorn scratched his beard. “I guess you can key the spell to a password. If we had the password, which we don’t, we could enter.”

 “I’ll go have a nice chat with miss Arrinna, then,” Wulf said, already heading out the door to see their prisoner. He looked at Keldas and the Old Man. “Yer… ach, right, yer just wait here for me. Shouldn’t be long.”

_But one can always hope,_ he thought.

*****

Wulf returned shortly. “_Fiery might conquers…_” he announced, grinning happily. 

“She told you?”

Wulf nodded. “Diplomacy.”

“So… tomorrow, then?” Karak asked.

They all nodded. 

“I suppose I should see about warding this place with our own _forbiddance_,” said the Old Man, excusing himself. 

“Yer just let me know if yer want any suggestions on the pass-phrase,” Wulf called after him.

*****

The next day they stood several hundred yards off the main gate of Imperagon’s mighty fortress. They could see that the front gate was guarded by an immense iron golem with wicked bladed hands. Steel predators slunk about in the shadows under the gatehouse.

“Now, we have the password,” said Keldas. “So we should be able to just bluff our way past the golem.”

“Right,” Wulf nodded. He gave Keldas the thumbs up.

They walked to the front gate, and the golem rose to meet them as they came near the gate. 

“_WHO SEEKS ENTRY?_” it bellowed, its voice sounding forth from hollow lungs that boomed like empty drums being kicked down a long flight of stairs. 

“Wulf DRAGON-bane!” Wulf shouted back. 

The party stood agape at him. Wulf’s weapons had somehow found their way into his hands.

“What?” Wulf said, shrugging. “I’m incognito.”

And the fight was on. 

Keldas’ dragon launched itself through the air at the golem, snapping feebly as it flew by, but its jaws could not penetrate the golem’s metal hide. The golem was prepared, and slashed at the dragon’s side as it passed, scoring a deep, bleeding wound.

Karak charged forward and was immediately pounced on by both predators. They took turns savaging him.

Keldas cast _rapid strikes_ on Dorn and _keen edge_ on _Taranak_ and shooed the two dwarves  into the fray. Wulf stepped quickly to Karak’s aid: the predators were intent on grappling with the paladin, and Wulf had little difficulty shredding the predator’s exposed flanks. Dorn was right behind him to finish it off. Karak stumbled to his feet and watched the remaining predator warily.

Somehow the golem had settled on Dorn as the greatest threat, and it slashed at him twice with its huge, cleaver-like hands.

“Finish off that predator so we can take this thing down!” yelled Wulf. He was a firm believer in attacking the weakest link of a chain first, but they couldn’t afford to spend much time on the predator with their backs to the golem. 

Keldas cast _hold monster_ on the predator, once, twice, both times with no luck. The predator had backed off now, having learned from the other’s mistake not to grapple up with enemies at its flanks. It sat back on its haunches and roared at the group, pounding them all with sonic energy.

“Screw it,” said Wulf, grabbing Dorn and steering him towards the golem. “Let the assmar worry about the cat, we need a heavy hitter on this golem.”

He swung _Taranak_ at the golem, but even prepared with _greater magic weapon_, he couldn’t seem to hit it.

“Are you holding back or what?” Dorn asked. 

“A bit,” Wulf admitted, maneuvering to keep Dorn within arm’s reach.

Karak and the dragon continued to work on the predator, but it wasn’t falling for the bait. It continued to elude them and roared across the group once again. Wulf and Dorn were unimpressed but it was surely taking its toll on Keldas. 

Wulf and Dorn continued working on the golem. Dorn would take a step to flank the golem with his great-axe, and Wulf would take a step to follow him. 

Dorn was getting impatient. “Gimme some room and flank him, yer not even hurt yet!”

The golem’s bladed arm came whistling down on Dorn. Wulf hauled Dorn aside, then nimbly stepped under the blade to take the blow instead. He tried his best to turn it aside with expertise, to no avail.

“Sorry,” he panted. “Yer was sayin?”

Keldas saw Wulf’s plan and cast a _haste_ on him before retreating to the sky, out of reach of the predator. The thing roared one last time; Dorn finally dropped the golem, and Wulf was clear to pounce on the predator with everything he had. In moments, it collapsed, and the way was clear.

Korak and Dorn brought out their wands of _cure serious wounds_ to hurry the party along. Keldas was severely wounded, as the predator had made sure to center Keldas in every sonic blast. Dorn couldn’t help commenting as he healed him up.

“Why do the bad guys always pick on you, Keldas?”

“They can tell who’s the man, I guess,” he deadpanned.

“Yeah,” Wulf snorted. “It’s the guy in the slippers, right?”


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

> “They can tell who’s the man, I guess,” he deadpanned.
> 
> “Yeah,” Wulf snorted. “It’s the guy in the slippers, right?”




Ka-zing!

Nice update.  Where are we compared to the actual game?  Have y'all finished _Bastion_ yet?  I'm looking forward to hearing about that (though still in likely-end-of-Wulf denial).


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Olgar Shiverstone said:
			
		

> *Where are we compared to the actual game?  Have y'all finished Bastion yet?  I'm looking forward to hearing about that (though still in likely-end-of-Wulf denial). *




Umm, in that case I am not at liberty to discuss the current state of the campaign.

My lips are sealed.

EDIT: Nope. Sealed.


Wulf


----------



## Gumby

Great read as always, Wulf.


----------



## Metus

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *“Why do the bad guys always pick on you, Keldas?”
> 
> “They can tell who’s the man, I guess,” he deadpanned.
> 
> “Yeah,” Wulf snorted. “It’s the guy in the slippers, right?” *



LOL!  Wulf is the funniest!  God I love this story hour.  Keep on keepin on!


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Umm, in that case I am not at liberty to discuss the current state of the campaign.
> 
> My lips are sealed.
> 
> *




Oh-oh.  Sounds like a cliffhanger.  

Keep the updates rollin'.


----------



## Milo Windby

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Wulf and Dorn continued working on the golem. Dorn would take a step to flank the golem with his great-axe, and Wulf would take a step to follow him.
> 
> Dorn was getting impatient. “Gimme some room and flank him, yer not even hurt yet!”
> 
> The golem’s bladed arm came whistling down on Dorn. Wulf hauled Dorn aside, then nimbly stepped under the blade to take the blow instead. He tried his best to turn it aside with expertise, to no avail.
> 
> “Sorry,” he panted. “Yer was sayin?”*



Do I detect a bit of the Defender peeking through here?  How often do you get to haul out those abilities Wulf?  I seriously considered taking some levels in the PrC in our old game but never took the plunge.  How many levels do you have in it now?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Milo Windby said:
			
		

> *Do I detect a bit of the Defender peeking through here?  How often do you get to haul out those abilities Wulf? *




Rarely.

The first time I used it I think it was against the gorillons. Dorn was beside the door, I was in the center of the door, and the room beyond was full of 4-armed death. So when I switched places with him I actually put him IN Harm's Way. I took one blow for him and then he got shredded by like three more.

After that incident it was something of a dubious honor to be my chosen "protectee" come initiative time. 

There are actually a couple of new tricks/classes at work in this last update, not the least of which is Expertise. That makes a big difference in the whole protection gig. Unless I can sneak attack my opponents, there is no way I can keep up with Dorn on the damage dealing front (persistent Divine Favor and such makes him the roughest customer in the lot). So it makes more sense for us to team up-- he dishes it out, I take the lumps. Hammer and anvil.

The combo works even better with Superior Expertise, but I just flat ran out of feats before the campaign was concluded.

Wulf


----------



## Hammerhead

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> 
> The combo works even better with Superior Expertise, but I just flat ran out of feats before the campaign was concluded.
> 
> Wulf *




You tease. 

Does anyone else hold the opinion that with Divine Favor and Divine Power, that Persistent Spell might be overpowered? 
How did those Slayer levels work out?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Hammerhead said:
			
		

> *How did those Slayer levels work out? *




I haven't really come up against my favored enemy since I took Slayer.

I am comforted by the knowledge that I _will_, however, and then, look out momma! Eat +1 damage! Even if somehow I only do 1 point of damage per strike, with favored enemy I am killing them _twice as fast_!

Think about THAT!


Wulf


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I haven't really come up against my favored enemy since I took Slayer.
> 
> Wulf *




What favored enemy did you take?

Do share!

(Like the cover preview of HOHF:Elves BTW!)


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> “Wulf DRAGON-bane!” Wulf shouted back.
> 
> The party stood agape at him. Wulf’s weapons had somehow found their way into his hands.
> 
> “What?” Wulf said, shrugging. “I’m incognito.”
> 
> *




My favourite quote of the session!

BTW, I notice that the steel predators are now far less hassle to kill than when you first met one in the planar city... does that reflect improved levels, improved magic weaponry, improved tactics... or some combination of the above?

Cheers


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *BTW, I notice that the steel predators are now far less hassle to kill... does that reflect improved levels, improved magic weaponry, improved tactics... or some combination of the above?*




Greater Magic Weapon was the key... Plus, I think I am a little harder to grapple with than anybody else, and if they do grapple anybody else, I rip em a new one. 

Dinkeldog always forgets to take -20 to his grapple check so that he doesn't lose his Dex bonus.

Wulf


----------



## med stud

> *Does anyone else hold the opinion that with Divine Favor and Divine Power, that Persistent Spell might be overpowered?
> How did those Slayer levels work out? *




I defenitly think so. Spellcasters get more power by higher level spells even without using meta magic to outdo the fighters. I never even considered allowing persistent spell IMC.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Same here re: persistant spell.

The fact is, some spells last 1r/level, some last 1min/level, some 10ming/level and some 1hour/level. Since you could extend Bulls Strength 1 or 2 times and have it running all day, that isn't much of a problem... but spells that normally have a duration measured in minutes?

That was the main reason I originally disallowed it as a feat IMC - the benefit of persistanting a short duration spell was the overkill factor.

I guess that what you'd see in its place though is Dorn taking "Craft Wondrous Item" instead, and making an item which gave Divine Power to the wearer all the time. At least he'd have to spend time and xp to do that though!

(another thought - where does the persistant feat stand wrt the permanency spell? Why introduce a feat that can apparently affect a wider number of spells at no cost?)

Cheers


----------



## KidCthulhu

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Teleport routes people through the timeless astral plane and this makes all current spell durations expire.
> 
> This means that scry + teleport will work, but buff+scry+teleport so you arrive all buffed up *won't* work, which seems one of the really big problems to me.
> *




See, I've got to disagree with you on this one.  That seems arbitrary and just a little cruel to me.  For one thing, what about buff spells with wildly different durations, say _Haste_ vs. _Bull's Strength_.  It just seems a little like Deus Ex Machnications.

I'd rather see better chances for the enemy to know you're coming (like enemies who have _Detect Scrying_ and are waiting when you arrive, than a change that messes with your player's planning.  I always think it's better to let the party make the best plan possible and then have the enemies react, than to prohibt or mess with what they can do to prepare.  It's all about rewarding them for being clever, rather than hosing them for it.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Well, bear in mind that nobody in my campaign has teleport or scry yet, so I'm sort of testing out possibilities. I don't mind players being clever (when the wizard decides to put his fly + invisibility + spells together, that will be fine for instance... he just hasn't really thought about that yet).

It is just that the buff + scry + teleport routine is so easy to do at high levels, that the good guys would find themselves on the recieving end (since it would be stupid for capable bad guys not to do it). If one side turns up to a fight with all buff spells in place and the other hasn't... in 3e that will swing the balance widely IMO. _Detect Scry_ isn't particularly useful since the victim will say "hey, I'm being scried" then *pop* the party arrives with several rounds worth of pre-cast spells on them! He doesn't have *time* to prepare any defences unless he has contingency to teleport himself away as soon as scrying is detected...

It isn't quite as bad as the 1e mage who used scry and then "vanish" to transport magical bombs onto his victims (now outlawed in 3e) but I want to write in some kind of limitation. Otherwise it doesn't even matter that an opponent can detect he is being scried upon, since the next second a party arrive loaded for war...

Within this limitation I believe that PC's will still be able to come up with clever tactics; it will just make a particularly lethal kind of ambush impossible.

(alternatives would be to make Scry an opposed check, which would work but would make it much, much harder to find people, to use disorientation from a teleport like Dim Door (which someone has suggested, but which I personally consider truly nerfing the power with a deus ex.), to make scry show the person clearly but everything else out of focus, for tougher teleports...)

I'm not against scry + teleport, just the arriving fully buffed portion of the ploy.


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *I'm not against scry + teleport, just the arriving fully buffed portion of the ploy. *




Here's a tactic: Enemy mage detects the scrying, then either casts an anti-magic shell and hightails it out of the spell radius, or readies an action to cast a dispel magic/greater dispel magic if someone teleports in.

Sure, he doesn't have as much time for his personal buffs, but party arrives and *pop* their preparations disappear because their scry was detected.


----------



## incognito

Wulf: You're posing as me?

I'm incognito!


----------



## Nail

...I esp. like th' "heck no!  We're not sneakin' in!" attitude.  

_Clear out one level at a time, starting at the first level.  Don't move on until the previous level is cleared.  _
*Lesson #1, ToEE.*


----------



## Galfridus

I'm using a house rule for Scry which limits what you get to see: make the roll and you see the target only (background is gray mist). If you make it by 10, you get limited background (no other people); if you make it by 20, you get a full camera-like view; if you make it by 30, you can (with re-rolls) reposition the scrying sensor to look around the scene. 

The other change I have thought about making is to say that on a successful Scry check, anyone in the area being scried gets to take an action before the viewing character sees anything. That way, a mage would have a chance to Dispel the sensor, Teleport out, cast an illusion, etc.


----------



## KidCthulhu

I still disagree with you, Plane.  I think if the party is clever enough to arrive buffed, removing that through a wave of the DM wand will feel really cheap.  And PC points out that the rules specifically say that the timelessness of the Astral does not affect spell duration.

This, however, isn't the place for the discussing.  Wanna chime in on the main boards on this?


----------



## Plane Sailing

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> *This, however, isn't the place for the discussing.  Wanna chime in on the main boards on this? *




Agreed. We can leave Wulf's storyhour for Wulfs storyhour 

(although it has a habit of generating huge discussions!)

link to further discussion http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=434923#post434923


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *(although it has a habit of generating huge discussions!) *




I enjoy that about my story hour. It makes me feel like the readers are involved and, best of all, it keeps a lot of these huge discussions away from our gaming table.

At any rate, especially when I am travelling on business and can't update, I appreciate having something to do here.

I can't believe folks are askin' me what my favored enemy is... it's all right there in the last few updates!

Wulf


----------



## Pyske

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> I can't believe folks are askin' me what my favored enemy is... it's all right there in the last few updates!*




Dragon-bane, eh?

 . . . . . . . -- Eric


----------



## Ancalagon

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Ohh, yes.
> 
> See, what we need now is for Ancalagon to step in with a timely illustration.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Sorry, was on vacation!  still catching up on the story now.

Ancalagon


----------



## the_bruiser

*peristant stuff*



			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Same here re: persistant spell.
> 
> The fact is, some spells last 1r/level, some last 1min/level, some 10ming/level and some 1hour/level. Since you could extend Bulls Strength 1 or 2 times and have it running all day, that isn't much of a problem... but spells that normally have a duration measured in minutes?
> 
> That was the main reason I originally disallowed it as a feat IMC - the benefit of persistanting a short duration spell was the overkill factor.
> 
> I guess that what you'd see in its place though is Dorn taking "Craft Wondrous Item" instead, and making an item which gave Divine Power to the wearer all the time. At least he'd have to spend time and xp to do that though!
> 
> (another thought - where does the persistant feat stand wrt the permanency spell? Why introduce a feat that can apparently affect a wider number of spells at no cost?)
> 
> Cheers *





I think I've seen the worst abuse of Persistant Spell ever in my campaign.  One player has a tribal shaman kind of guy.  He picked up a level of the prestige class that lets you dance to create metamagic effects, rather than casting the spells at a higher level.  So, in the morning, in addition to jacking his STR to 18 and getting fighter attack bonuses with that Divine Whatever spell, he dances around and makes everybody PERSISTENT REGENERATING (the base spell is from the Ranger/Barbarian Druis book, I think).  It actually ends up burning him a bunch of temporary CON points - which he then gets rid of with Lesser Restorations.  

I don't mind that much, though - the character still isn't as good a fighter as the straight-class fighters, and after combats there's no more counting of Cure spells - instead, we just say "five minutes later, everyone's at full" and go to the next thing.  Of course, since wearing them down with small combats doesn't work any more, I have to kill more of them all at once in big battles to keep it interesting .


----------



## shilsen

*Re: peristant stuff*



			
				the_bruiser said:
			
		

> *I think I've seen the worst abuse of Persistant Spell ever in my campaign.  One player has a tribal shaman kind of guy.  He picked up a level of the prestige class that lets you dance to create metamagic effects, rather than casting the spells at a higher level.  So, in the morning, in addition to jacking his STR to 18 and getting fighter attack bonuses with that Divine Whatever spell, he dances around and makes everybody PERSISTENT REGENERATING (the base spell is from the Ranger/Barbarian Druis book, I think). *




If it's one of the Regeneration spells (Regenerate Light, Regenerate Moderate, etc.) from MotW, you're right about the abuse. All of them are touch spells, so they aren't usable with Persistent Spell.


----------



## Piratecat

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *The "solution" I plan for my campaign is a different, slight change to teleport (which I've seen mentioned by someone on ENworld, but I don't know who).
> 
> Teleport routes people through the timeless astral plane and this makes all current spell durations expire.
> *




Hey, wait a sec! If you're going to nerf the players, you should do it using valid game mechanics!  Because the astral plane is timeless, that would mean that spell effects there never wear off; in earlier editions, a potion drank before entering the astral would just keep on affecting you the whole time you were there. As a result, the logic for stripping them from spells is a little iffy.

I'm not sure I like this deux ex machina anyways, but when I first read it my inner game geek kicked in.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hey, wait a sec! If you're going to nerf the players, you should do it using valid game mechanics!   *




Well, yeah, I know that isn't what timeless means. I'll come up with a different rationale (e.g. crossing the boundary between the material and the astral causes spell effects to expire). The thread I started in the Rules section has thrown up some very useful ideas for other ways to handle it. One of the particularly interesting tactic-nerfing ones is to rule that Teleport takes a minute (or more) of actual time to accomplish while appearing instantaneous to the teleportees. This gives some purpose to the teleport trace psionic power, allows scried targets some vital time to prepare a reception committee and so forth.

Another useful observation within the basic rules revolves around deciding just how good a picture you can get through scry. In most cases a scry viewing would count as "viewed once" (since "seen casually" requires that you have seen it more than once). At least this would give a 25% chance of B-S-T not arriving at the correct location. In earlier editions a teleport mishap was fatal, and happened more frequently. That plus the less impact of buffs meant this tactic didn't really happen in earlier editions. 


The truth is, I'm more concerned about nerfing intelligent villians than the PC's though... Since if this tactic is a workable one it would be difficult to stop BBEGs from killing the characters.


----------



## Lord Pendragon

If this doesn't make sense or has already been said, please disregard. 

Assuming that the party has a wizard/sorcerer who can cast _Teleport_ means the villain is at an equal or higher level, right?  So the villain most likely can either teleport themselves, or hire a wizard to do so.  Party _teleports_ in, villain (having sensed the scrying) _teleports_ out.  No biggie, AFAIK...


----------



## coyote6

Assuming that the PC cleric didn't "ready to cast _dimensional anchor_ on the evil wizard as soon as I see him", and nail the EW before he could teleport away, the villain has just abandoned his base, and all captives, minions, and magic items that he didn't take to the bathroom with him. 

Because you know that's when the PCs will attack.

Plus, you've just required that *all* your villains be wizards, outsiders that can teleport, or evil clerics with secret sanctums (that they can _word of recall_ to). No evil fighter lords, no vile blackguards, no grandfather assassins, no masters of the thieves' guild, none of that, not without having a 9th level hireling wizard tied to 'em, just in case they have to flee before the wrath of the PCs. Anybody who can't teleport, dies. 

And, again, the real problem is that the PCs higher level wizard enemy should just do it to the PCs first. The game becomes a contest of who can scry & teleport first, or an unending series of exchanges of such, as one side escapes, has its dead members returned to life, and performs a retributive scry-teleport-kill. Bor-ring.

Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuulf! Post, quick!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I will post today or tomorrow. I spent a little time this weekend trying to figure out how to edit down the remaining content-- which is largely pages and pages of high-level combat-- and wrap it all up.

There are some good nuggets of humor in there I want to get to. I particularly enjoy it when Shorty taunts the paladin.


Wulf


----------



## Nail

coyote6 said:
			
		

> *Anybody who can't teleport, dies. *




Yup. 

As Wulf's story-hour teaches us, young one......


----------



## Destil

*Persistant Spell*

I've also always hated persistant spell. Aside from the fact that it disreguards the original spell duration, it's also just the most stupidly balanced, hacky feat out there with it's range limits. I really dislike the idea the a custom, personal-range _haste_ variant, for instance, would be *better* in any way because it's more limited (personal range). Bad design through and through.

In my game persistant is a +2 feat, and lets the spell automaticaly re-activate once 1d4 rounds after being dispeled.


----------



## Piratecat

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *
> Well, yeah, I know that isn't what timeless means. I'll come up with a different rationale (e.g. crossing the boundary between the material and the astral causes spell effects to expire). *




Hmmmm. Hopefully, this only happens with teleport, and not dimension door or - lord forbid - plane shift/astral spell.  



> *One of the particularly interesting tactic-nerfing ones is to rule that Teleport takes a minute (or more) of actual time to accomplish while appearing instantaneous to the teleportees. This gives some purpose to the teleport trace psionic power, allows scried targets some vital time to prepare a reception committee and so forth. *




This does remove the standard tactic of teleporting across the battlefield when you've run out of dimension doors. Interesting idea, though.

Truth is, I'd be more supportive, but I just paid someone a couple of hundred dollars to have all of my comics sterilized.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *
> Hmmmm. Hopefully, this only happens with teleport, and not dimension door or - lord forbid - plane shift/astral spell.
> *



*

Dimension door is OK because of its relatively short range, plane shift takes you to a random location on another world and astral spell IS 9th level after all... so I don't think I'd bother with changing them.

One interesting possibility (thinking along the lines of teleport being an improved Dim Door) would be to allow the teleporter to choose whether to arrive instantly and be disorientated like Dim Door, or to accept the time delay but arrive fully compos mentis. 




			Truth is, I'd be more supportive, but I just paid someone a couple of hundred dollars to have all of my comics sterilized.
		
Click to expand...


*
Hey! Drool dries transparent, you know! 

Cheers


----------



## Nail

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Dimension door is OK because of its relatively short range, plane shift takes you to a random location on another world and astral spell IS 9th level after all... so I don't think I'd bother with changing them.*




Plane, I think you missed the point here.  

As _Dimension Door, Teleport,_ and _plane shift_ all use the same mechanic to cross space quickly, it makes little sense to have the results of that shift affect in-place spells differently.

IOW, be consistant with your plane-traveling effects, or you lose versimilitude for your sharper players.

...and all yer players are sharp, right?


----------



## Plane Sailing

Nail said:
			
		

> *
> 
> As Dimension Door, Teleport, and plane shift all use the same mechanic to cross space quickly, it makes little sense to have the results of that shift affect in-place spells differently.
> *




Sorry, I should have been more comprehensive in my answer. This tends to be "stream of consciousness" stuff since it is an issue I'm thinking about at the moment, rather than rules that I've sat down and thought through carefully.

Basically, the above spells all work using the same mechanic in the standard Greyhawk and Forgotten Realms cosmology, but in different cosmologies there may be _way_-different explanations for how they work.

As you might guess from my online name, I'm heavily into different cosmologies from any of the standard ones (and Manual of the Planes is just such a stupendous resource for designing brand new cosmologies ).

My final thoughts on the B-S-T issue are not set in concrete, useful stuff has come up on the discussion thread I started for it and I don't need to have a solid explanation yet. It is quite possible that I'll concentrate on tackling the "scry" part of the equation rather than the "teleport" part.

Cheers


----------



## FlimFlam

coyote6 said:
			
		

> *Assuming that the PC cleric didn't "ready to cast dimensional anchor on the evil wizard as soon as I see him",
> *




Considering you can't "Ready" if you aren't in combat, this wouldn't work.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

FlimFlam said:
			
		

> *Considering you can't "Ready" if you aren't in combat, this wouldn't work. *




Bah. That's an artifact of the initiative rules. 

Are you suggesting that the evil cleric will say to himself, "Well, I'd like to prepare to cast this spell, but I am not in combat yet so it's impossible."

By your interpretation bandits could never set an ambush, guards could never cover prisoners with crossbows, etc.


Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

In that particular scenario I certainly wouldn't allow someone to ready a targetted spell prior to the teleport... too many variables in location etc.

Readying a personal spell, or a spell targetted on a friend (or a general area) I could see happening, but not one targetted on someone else.

Just personal though.


----------



## (contact)

It sounds like a delay action to me.  Generally, I allow the ready action only on specific things-- when that wizard starts casting, the first orc to walk through that door, etc.

Saying "I scan the room with my _dimensional anchor_ prepped, and cast it at the first wizard that appears," would be a little too broad for the ready action.


----------



## Nail

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *This tends to be "stream of consciousness" stuff *




That makes two of us.  I'd include Wulf too, ...just not sure "stream" would be th' right adjective.   Given his frequency of updates, maybe "trickle" would fit better.   >:^>



> *It is quite possible that I'll concentrate on tackling the "scry" part of the equation rather than the "teleport" part. *




Barring KidC disagreeing with me too, I'd say go with a "delay" feature with travel spells (maybe d6 rounds?), a strict interp. of how the scry spell works, and end with some new anti-scry spells.

Or not.  <shrug>


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

(contact) said:
			
		

> *Saying "I scan the room with my dimensional anchor prepped, and cast it at the first wizard that appears," would be a little too broad for the ready action. *




I probably agree with that, but targeting the first person to appear would be ok. 


Wulf


----------



## coyote6

Recall the context:

The person casting the _anchor_ is one of the attackers teleporting in to slaughter some poor innocent villain (or PC; either way), and the innocent villain/PC is planning to avoid the Scry-Teleport attack by bravely teleporting away. 

As the target in this play, he's going to be in on the Partial Action surprise round fun, so he just uses that action -- which he gets before Villain Wizard gets to do anything -- to Ready an action to nail the first guy starting a teleport spell. An improvised kind of counterspell, using similar mechanics -- Spellcraft check; yup, tall-pointy-hat-longbeard is casting _teleport_; nail him with a _dimensional anchor_ spell. No save, just a ranged touch attack; so barring SR, it's "stick around for the beat down" city, baby.

I think that ought to be specific enough readying conditions. 

Even if it's not, well, the Scry-Teleport team has a decent chance of knowing something about the target(s), so they'll likely know who needs an _anchor_, and can just skip the Ready/Delay runaround, and just ZAP the guy.


----------



## Taren Seeker

Yeah, it's not exactly readying out of init, which I do try to avoid as well.

It's all about when you rule combat to begin.

So you scry the BBEG. Someone there notices the scrying sensor. You roll init immediately for everyone cause the ambush has been blown. If the teleporter goes early, you can still get in there and drop the dim anchor as long as the person casting it either delays to right after the teleporter or readies for when he gets teleported. This also means that if the BBEG or his pet mage go early they can either port out or they can ready their own nastiness for when you jump in.

If the BBEG doesn't see the scry sensor (which should be rare in HL adventures as usually someone will make that DC), you all teleport in, get a surprise round (partial actions) and then roll init and proceed normally. This makes it easy to fire off the dim anchor. However, I would also say that since the teleporter is the one initiating the ambush they have already used their partial surprise action so you'd better have 2 mages available if you want a dim anchor as well.

Oh, and, um, great story hour Wulf. Looking foward to seeing the campaign finale. A quick question though, how often did you guys level in your campaign, and how long did it take to go from 1st to 16th session wise? I know you had some long gaps when Dinkeldog was shirking his duties, but without those gaps how long was your campaign?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Taren Seeker said:
			
		

> *A quick question though, how often did you guys level in your campaign, and how long did it take to go from 1st to 16th session wise? I know you had some long gaps when Dinkeldog was shirking his duties, but without those gaps how long was your campaign? *




We level up once every 13.33 encounters. Dinkeldog runs a tight ship, 100% by the book.

Except of course for that whole blindsight thing.


Wulf


----------



## Nail

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> We level up once every 13.33 encounters. Dinkeldog runs a tight ship, 100% by the book.
> 
> Except of course for that whole blindsight thing.*




 

..but seriously: do you have a session count and hours per session?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Nail said:
			
		

> *...but seriously: do you have a session count and hours per session? *




Best guess, I would say we average 6 hours a session (we play Sundays) and I guess we level up every 2 or 2.5 sessions.

No idea how many sessions we have played. You could go back through the story hour and sort of count, or you could base it on our level and say 32 sessions or more. 

I think it has been almost 2 years of real time, I lost count.

Sittin' next to the peck every week, you know, you try not to count the hours...


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Just doing a little pruning throughout the weekend. Apparently "somebody" felt "threatened" that his 200,000 page views were overshadowed by my post count.


Wulf


----------



## Metus

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I will post today or tomorrow.*



Hey!  Whatever happened with that?!


----------



## Plane Sailing

Metus said:
			
		

> *
> Hey!  Whatever happened with that?! *




well, he *did* post... it just wasn't storyhour


----------



## Piratecat

Give him a minute. He'll blame the delay on the "pruning" of his "bloated" thousand post thread, because he's worried that making this thread "smaller" may reflect upon his "masculinity."

Trust me. *wink*  You know these things when you're a Moderator, you know.


----------



## KidCthulhu

See, now I was starting to give Wulf the eye, 'cuz of his mighty post count.  But now that he's gotten all trimmed back, well, it's just not the same.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Nothing like an update to win you back to the fold. Not much to it but a fight, but it was a good one...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI (cont)*

Just inside the main entrance they found a storeroom holding some uniforms marked with a fiery scimitar. “Let’s wear these,” Wulf suggested. “Maybe it’ll fool the golems.”

They found the interior of the fortress surprisingly small and cramped-- all the better, as it narrowed their options. At the end of a short hallway to the north, they found a door, warm to the touch, and the dragon informed them that he could hear a low, animal snoring from inside. Assuming it would be more steel predators, they turned south.

Wulf slowly opened the door they found there. An ogre-mage stood inside the spartan room, flanked by a couple of stone guardians. He seemed to be watching the north wall, where a long curtain bisected the room. The ogre-mage looked askance at the group, then turned away, disinterested. 

Wulf shrugged, walked into the room, and cut the legs out from underneath the unsuspecting ogre. Dorn stepped in quickly behind him.

“Stick on him!” he said. “Don’t let him cast!” Dorn cast a _silence_ spell on Wulf, who was already grinning in eager anticipation. But it was not to be: the ogre-mage retreated behind the curtain, as the statue guardians came to life to attack Wulf and Dorn.

Wulf disengaged from the statue, tumbling off behind the curtain in pursuit of the ogre-mage. When he rolled to his feet on the other side, he was standing in a smaller curtained cell-- and face-to-face with a mind flayer.

Like clockwork, Wulf’s dwarven instincts took over: He succumbed to a sustained screaming fit.

A long, silent, unanswered scream.

Desperate, Wulf fumbled at the _ring of invisibility_ on his finger. Somehow, miraculously, he got the damn thing to work. Things were looking up, now. He was isolated on the other side of the curtain from the rest of his group, true enough, facing a mind flayer, silenced and with no way to warn them, yes-- but at least you couldn’t say he wasn’t invisible. He grinned and gave himself a little mental “Thumbs up!”

Back in the other room, Keldas stepped in, saw Dorn hacking one of the statue guardians to pieces, and nonchalantly leaned up against the wall. “Looks like you guys have this under control.”

The mind flayer turned towards Wulf with a hungry little quiver of its tentacles, feeling for him, feeling for his presence with its tentacles as well as its mind. Wulf knew what was coming, and it was then that he felt the almost tangible presence of Haela Brightaxe, hovering over his shoulder, offering him good luck.

_Piss off!_ Wulf thought. He had enough problems just worrying about Moradin’s steely-grey peepers on him all the time. _Wulf Ratbane ain't none o’ yer concern!_. A powerful wave of psionic energy washed over Wulf--  but he fought it off. 

_I don’t believe in luck,_ he thought. _Good or bad._

Another mind flayer suddenly stepped out from the adjacent curtained cell. 

_Ok, that’s pretty bad…_

The second ‘flayer blasted Wulf; again he felt Haela calling to him, and again he refused her aid and stubbornly resisted the overpowering psionic energy on his own. “Luck’s got nothin’ to do with it!” He shouted and shook his fists, though there was no one to see or hear.

The ogre-mage cast a _cone of cold_ at the group hovering around the doorway. The dragon shook it off and slinked into the room. Its keen senses had somehow warned it that there was something lurking behind the curtains, and it fired a blast of its lightning breath across the ogre-mage and both mind flayers. 

The ogre mage had had enough, and wisely turned to gaseous form. But the dragon’s lightning blast had provided just the jump-start Wulf needed. He grabbed the closest mind flayer by its face-tentacles and frenziedly beat its brains out in about three seconds flat. Now visible, and covered in mauve-colored gore, Wulf staggered backwards out of the cloister, ripping down what was left of the curtains and gesturing wildly the way he had come.

The second mind flayer knew the jig was up. It stepped out and positioned itself to blast everyone in the room. Wulf and Dorn, the two dwarves, were the only ones _stunned_. Wulf stood there slobbering stupidly, surprised as he was to see Dorn standing there slobbering stupidly as well. He took this as proof positive that Haela Brightaxe was full of…

Shifting over slightly from behind the stone guardian, Karak finally hove into view. He smoothly drew his _ghost touch_ bastard sword and swung full-force at the misty form of the ogre-mage. The ghostly vapor was scattered and Karak continued his swing right into the mind flayer. It dropped to the ground, cleft nearly in twain. Karak wrenched his sword from the rubbery hide and turned just in time to see his dragon finish off the last statue guardian.


----------



## JacktheRabbit

How long has Karak had that little toy? I don't remember hearing about any Ghost Touch weapons besides Wulf's dagger.


----------



## Halma

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *How long has Karak had that little toy? I don't remember hearing about any Ghost Touch weapons besides Wulf's dagger. *




He has had this for quite some time now.  When Wulf gave it to him 7 or 8 sessions ago, Karak wanted to sell it... to ehem... our dismay.  We convinced him to keep it with him just in case we needed someone in the party beside Wulf to be able to hit Ghosts and such.  He did this kicking and screaming.


Halma


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Halma said:
			
		

> *He has had this for quite some time now. *




We picked it up in Heart of Nightfang Spire.



> *When Wulf gave it to him 7 or 8 sessions ago, Karak wanted to sell it... to ehem... our dismay.*




Yes, I distinctly remember some of the choice profanities I had for him at the time. 



> *We convinced him to keep it with him just in case we needed someone in the party beside Wulf to be able to hit Ghosts and such.  He did this kicking and screaming.*




For a long time I was _sure_ he had gone off and sold it behind our backs. I was ready to kill me another one. Over a sword? Yep.

The fact that it's a sword of _Not-gettin'-whacked-by-Wulf_ aside, Karak will be happy later to have that sword (but not for the reasons you might think...)


Wulf


----------



## Nail

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI (cont)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *... it was then that he felt the almost tangible presence of Haela Brightaxe, hovering over his shoulder, offering him good luck.
> 
> Piss off! Wulf thought. *



Good way of working in "player decisions about game mechanics" into "in-character" thoughts and responses.  Nice touch.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI (cont)*



			
				Nail said:
			
		

> *Good way of working in "player decisions about game mechanics" into "in-character" thoughts and responses.  Nice touch. *




Thanks. A bit more out-of-character explanation is probably in order. 

Those of you who have checked out my PDF character sheet (linked in the Rogues Gallery) may have seen "Haela's Blessing" sitting over in the "Notes" column or in my Saving Throw box for some time and wondered what it was. 

Since about 9th level I've had a magic item that lets me make a re-roll once a day. It's technically "Enkili's Blessing" from R&R, though we've been calling it Haela's Blessing. It's a tattoo, though since I have never used it, it doesn't actually exist yet. I kinda figured if I did use it, it would show up like a brand.

Though on many occasions, it was tempting to the point of overwhelming to use it-- nothing says, "Use the friggin re-roll!" like a save-or-die situation. You'll see plenty more of those in upcoming installments.

This is what I spend my party treasure on. Donations to crappy old priests who don't even give me a discount, and magic items that never get used. 


Wulf


----------



## Metus

Hey Wulf, I'm in the midst of running those WotC adventures and a question just came to mind.  I currently have four players, and I know that those adventures were designed with the standard four player party in mind.  However, by my count, you're running them with five: You, Keldas, Dorn, Karak and Shorty.  Isn't it unbalancing at all?  I guess this question would be good for Dinkledog too.

I ask because I'm considering letting more join, but don't want to ruin the adventures' inherent balance.  Has Dinkledog added more creatures due to your greater party size?

Oh, and a great update as usual.  I always get a laugh out of every one of them.


----------



## Hatchling Dragon

*Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI (cont)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *This is what I spend my party treasure on. Donations to crappy old priests who don't even give me a discount, and magic items that never get used. *




I suppose it's only appropriate, considering you tend to spend your skill points on skills that don't ever seem to actually _work_.  *Sneak* and *Hide* ring any bells? 

Hatchling Dragon


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI (cont)*



			
				Hatchling Dragon said:
			
		

> * Sneak and Hide ring any bells?
> *




I have heard stories-- whispered rumors, really-- of other campaigns where rogues have access to such skills in order to approach the enemy undetected, scout their position, strike unseen, etc.

Of course, when I was a kid I believed in the Tooth Fairy, too.


Wulf


----------



## Capellan

*Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VI (cont)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I have heard stories-- whispered rumors, really-- of other campaigns where rogues have access to such skills in order to approach the enemy undetected, scout their position, strike unseen, etc.*




[checks his own story hour]

Nine times in three sessions.  Sneaky little PC-types.

I need to get me some o' those new-fangled blindsighted critters.


----------



## Jeremy

Or scent, or tremorsense, or a wizard or cleric with the blindsight spell, or certain dragons and demons with True Seeing always active...

I still maintain that 23 ranks in Hide includes eating snow to eliminate breath condensation, rubbing pine or dung on yourself to kill the human smell, and using rocks and cover to negate echo location.

And likewise move silently to step softly enough to not register on tremorsense and negate hearing-based blindsight.

But that's just me, who believes that part of balancing classes power-wise is based on skill points.

But then again, who needs skill when you can buy a ring of +30 or so to something.  

Where's them updates Wulf?


----------



## Jeremy

*a week goes by*

Um, mister um Dragonbane, er uh, sir?  Where's those updates you said you were putting in order?


----------



## KidCthulhu

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Nothing like an update to win you back to the fold. Not much to it but a fight, but it was a good one... *




Gazes lovingly at new post.  "Oh Wulfie.  My hero!"


----------



## Plane Sailing

Looking forward to the next update, Wulf! Hope its coming along soon!

Cheers


----------



## Dawn

About to fall off the front page.  Can't let that happen.

Update?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I am trying to find time to update today.


----------



## Nail

Yer wastin' time writin' that _Heroes of High Favor: Fancy-Pants Elfies_, aren't ye?   And what did we all say about hangin' around wit' that lot?   

It'll corrupt ye, sure as shootin'.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Nail said:
			
		

> *Yer wastin' time writin' that Heroes of High Favor: Fancy-Pants Elfies, aren't ye?  *




Well, it's finally out of my hands.



> *It'll corrupt ye, sure as shootin'. *




Sure enough. I am considering playing an elf for the first time in 20 years. 

Course that's just because I put some really cool sh*t in there...


Wulf


----------



## Galfridus

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Sure enough. I am considering playing an elf for the first time in 20 years.
> 
> Course that's just because I put some really cool sh*t in there...*




Yeah, elves never had feats like *Four Feet Tall*, *Bearded*, and *Swears a Lot* before now.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Galfridus said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Yeah, elves never had feats like Four Feet Tall, Bearded, and Swears a Lot before now.  *




ROFL! That's awesome... Wish I'd thought of that. I'd put it in the web preview if I was confident that more players would get the in-joke.


Wulf


----------



## Hatchling Dragon

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Sure enough. I am considering playing an elf for the first time in 20 years.
> 
> Course that's just because I put some really cool sh*t in there...*




You know the old saying about 'if you feed something it'll follow you home...'  Poor, poor Wulf, you're doomed now.

So what'll yah call yer new Elf (probably a panzy Wizard too!).  Foo-Farah Prissypants or something 'rough' like that?

Oh well, so much for a long life-span, but at least I'll see and/or hear him coming.   

Hatchling Dragon


----------



## Delgar

Well I'm finally caught back up on the Wulf Story hour after a 2 year hiatus! I just thought that I would chime in and say that it's a great read as it was so long ago. I'm definately looking forward to future installments. 

Always nice to see things from a players point of view. I'm running a few people through the modules right at the moment (just finished Speaker in Dreams) and it's just nice to see how other parties have tackled the challenges! I'm not looking forward to running Standing Stone, but I'm definately looking forward to the next few.

Anyway, great story Wulf!

Delgar


----------



## Jeremy

The suspense is killing me!

For the love of G---I mean, for the love of ALE c'mon Wulf!

*chants*  update update update update



Hope turkey day went alright for everyone.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Everytime I sit down to post, ENworld craps out on me.

But thanks for the bump, I will see what I can do.


Wulf


----------



## jonrog1

All right, I coughed up an update.  Hop to, ya drunken, swearing bastich.

And when are you turning your hand to D20Modern?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

jonrog1 said:
			
		

> *And when are you turning your hand to D20Modern? *




Playing, GMing, or designing? 

Playing: ASAP, GMing: next GameDay, designing: err... already in progress.


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII*

Dorn quickly busied himself with healing their minor wounds, then suddenly announced that he was leaving. “Haela’s business. I’ll send Shorty and Diessa along in the meantime.”

“I thought this _was_ Haela’s business,” Wulf grumbled. 

Losing Dorn for Diessa was a bitter pill, but it went down a bit sweeter when Shorty showed up. The little halfling was eager to get down to business. “Where to?” he asked, as they gathered up just inside the fortress entrance. 

“Well, let’s keep exploring this floor round the same way we have been,” Wulf suggested. “Counterclockwise.” 

Keldas nodded in agreement. 

The next door opened onto a magically darkened room. The party huddled briefly to bicker over how to tackle the room, but their decision was made for them as a toothy steel maw suddenly lunged out of the darkness. Karak was knocked off his feet and dragged into the room. There was a sickening crunch, followed by a shrill and lingering shriek of anguish.

Keldas dispelled the darkness so they could move in. A steel predator had pinned Karak under its paws, while a second one nearby munched contentedly on his sundered long sword. A third predator sat nearby with a bemused look on its non-face.

Shorty carefully dropped a hemispherical _wall of force_ over two of the predators, while Wulf stepped up to deal savagely with the predator preoccupied with Karak. All things considered, it wasn’t too bad.

But the loss of his magic longsword seemed to have shattered Karak’s spine, as well. He activated his _helm of teleportation_, hoping to teleport just a few feet away and re-enter the fray. Instead, he disappeared completely. 

The predator hardly missed a beat, switching quickly to focus on Wulf. He too was grappled and pulled into the thing’s embrace. 

“Gimme a sec, I got it,” Wulf said. He twisted, slipped out of its grasp, and brought _Taranak_ around on it with crushing force. Smoke and flame burst around the wound, and the thing was so grievously wounded that Shorty easily finished it off with a _magic missile_.

Inside the dome of force, the predators lay down to munch on the remains of Karak’s sword. He’d been slowly building up its enchantment, hoping one day that his temple would turn it into a full fledged _Holy Avenger_. 

So much for that. 

Eventually, Karak came shuffling back into the room with them. “The teleport popped me just outside the fortress.”

“Forbiddance, I assume,” said Keldas. “Interesting effect.”

“We’re leaving, right?” Karak asked.

“What the hell for?” Wulf said.

Karak tried his best to be condescending. “Well, in case you didn’t notice, I just lost my sword.”

“Yer got another weapon, right?” Wulf asked, patting down his own bristling armory. Axe, dagger, hand axe, another dagger, light mace, dagger, darts… Check check check.

“Yes, but I like my long sword. That’s my best weapon.”

“Cry me a river,” Wulf said. “Next time yer know to diversify. Get out the bastard sword and let’s go.”

Shorty pointed at the two predators he’d imprisoned. “What about these? That wall of force won’t last but a few minutes.”

Wulf sighed. He really didn’t want to fight steel predators. They weren’t deadly, but those claws were hell on his shins. 

“Well,” said Shorty, sensing his hesitation. “How about I drop the wall of force and hit them with a prismatic spray? That would be fun…”

Keldas arched an eybrow. 

“Shorty’s got some new tricks,” said the halfling, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’d pay to see that,” said Wulf.

Shorty prepared himself, dismissed the wall of force, and was just about to let fly with his _prismatic spray_, when a small boy suddenly appeared between him and his targets. Shorty paused only briefly to decide that small boys who appeared out of the thin Acheronian air in the fortress of an evil half-dragon were probably up to no good, and he let fly anyway.

One predator was turned to stone, one was bathed in acid. The small boy was blasted with a ray of poison but it might as well have been a ray of gumdrops and lollipops for as much as he seemed to care.

_Definitely_ up to no good.

The remaining predator dragged Wulf into its razor-sharp embrace, but Keldas was ready: He turned it into a fish.

By now the small boy had started casting a spell. Wulf rolled to his feet and charged him with both hands wrapped around the haft of his axe. If only it could have been a _real_ small boy, Wulf would have lopped his head off from the waist up. As it was, however, the thing had no trouble maintaining its concentration to finish its spell. A _fireball_ exploded into the room. 

Wulf was unscathed, of course. He watched as Keldas’ own small boy,  now transformed into his natural dragon form, breathed a scorching bolt of lightning across... err... the other small boy.

Wulf cursed. Vicious small-boy-on-small-boy action was one thing, but wasting precious time breathing lightning on outsiders was quite another. So he was quite surprised when the boy disappeared in the wake of the blast.

“Did yer get him?” Wulf asked, highly skeptical. 

The dragon ignored him. It was staring over his shoulder to the back of the room, where a cloud giant and its pet hydra had suddenly appeared. 

The cloud giant was either fast, or it had been preparing for them. It cast a spell almost as soon as it appeared.

And just as quickly—faster, actually, to be precise—Keldas countered it. “_Abu Dalzim’s Horrid Wilting_?” said the frail elf. “Ahh, I think not…”

The hydra breathed—a bath of frosty cold. Wulf evaded the blast, but he wasn’t confident of his allies behind him. The blast, apparently, had frozen their brains.

For starters, the assmar, unsatisfied with a “mere” Ghost Touch bastard sword, tried casting _holy sword_ on his weapon—though in the cramped confines of the room, he was well within reach of the cloud giant. The giant wasted no time in utterly pasting the paladin with its huge _flaming_ morning star. Karak buckled with the blow.

Now it was Shorty’s turn, and he made the best of it by casting _cone of cold_. Onto the cloud giant. And its cold-breathing cryohydra.

“Stupid sons of…” Wulf’s knuckles cracked in frustration. “Ach!”

Keldas, at least, had his wits about him. He cast _mass haste_.

“Now we’re talkin’.” Wulf twisted the ring of invisibility on his finger and disappeared. One short step brought the hydra within reach, and pulling his dagger into his off-hand, Wulf proceeded to dismantle the thing with grisly precision. When he reappeared, there wasn’t much left of the hydra.

Wulf had hoped to lure the giant, confident of his inborn giant-slayin’ abilities, but the giant was simply having too much fun with the paladin. It heaved about with its morning star, slamming the assmar twice more despite his best defenses.

Karak stumbled back into the corner, trying to escape the thing, but he’d clearly learned nothing from his previous mistake. Once again he dropped his defenses and turned his attention to his wounds, trying to _lay on hands_. The giant laughed—truth be told, Wulf couldn’t stifle his own chuckle—as the giant took advantage of the opportunity to knock the paladin to death’s door.

Shorty picked up the slack, first casting _slow_ on the giant and then _hold monster_ for good measure.

Against his better judgement, and with hands shaking from barely suppressed laughter, Wulf bound the paladin’s wounds… just in time.


----------



## Vargo

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Against his better judgement, and with hands shaking from barely suppressed laughter, Wulf bound the paladin’s wounds… just in time. *






What, you didn't let him bleed for an earlier peckish indiscretion?

Juust kidding.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII*



			
				Vargo said:
			
		

> *
> 
> 
> 
> What, you didn't let him bleed for an earlier peckish indiscretion?*




You guys... You gotta learn to think like Wulf.

If I sit around, some other soft-hearted pansy would have healed him up, and I would have been just as bad off, but without the smug satisfaction of having saved his life.


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy

LOL

Cheers for Wulf and the gang!  Choke fishie, choke!


----------



## Plane Sailing

Well, Karak DID save your life earlier on, so I guess this makes you quits now?

Although one has to wonder why on earth he didn't try casting defensively... After all, by his level surely a DC19 Concentration check is pretty easy, right?


----------



## JacktheRabbit

It is amazing what you forget when you are not a full time spellcaster and you are thrown off your game by the loss of your favorite weapon.



			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Well, Karak DID save your life earlier on, so I guess this makes you quits now?
> 
> Although one has to wonder why on earth he didn't try casting defensively... After all, by his level surely a DC19 Concentration check is pretty easy, right?  *


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *It is amazing what you forget when you are not a full time spellcaster and you are thrown off your game by the loss of your favorite weapon. *




Oh, Doc, if only it were so.

Attacks of Opportunity still haven't sunk in. I mean, it's only been, what, 2 years? The only difference between this session and a typical session, is that dinkeldog didn't let him "take it back" and do something unstupid. 



			
				DocMoriartty said:
			
		

> *Well, Karak DID save your life earlier on, so I guess this makes you quits now?*




He did? I don't recall. He did save _Taranak_ that one time, though. His life, my axe, fair trade for sure.

Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> He did? I don't recall. He did save Taranak that one time, though. His life, my axe, fair trade for sure.
> 
> Wulf *




I'm too lazy at the moment to go back through the storyhour to look it up, but didn't he teleport you to safety from those confusing creatures that appeared when you were flying through Archeron?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Well, yes, he did, but I hardly count sounding the general retreat as "saving my life."

If I owed the paladin a life debt every time he voted to turn tail and run, I'd never get any real work done.


Wulf


----------



## KidCthulhu

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Wulf cursed. Vicious small-boy-on-small-boy action was one thing, but wasting precious time breathing lightning on outsiders was quite another. *




ROTFLAO!  I have it on very good authority that Eric's Grandma loves small-boy-on-small-boy action.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Get your mind out of the gutter. Of course I meant "action" in the "action movie" sense of the word...


----------



## Gumby

I think those small boys need a proper spanking, as they've been very naughty.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Gumby said:
			
		

> *I think those small boys need a proper spanking, as they've been very naughty. *




Couple more updates, serious spanking all round.


----------



## Malin Genie

Small-boy-on-small-boy action.

Only in Wulf's Story Hour.

Proudly brought to you by Eric's Grandma's Line, along the edge of which this Story Hour carefully walks.

^_^


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

[sigh]

I don't suppose it would help matters any if I described it as two-fisted action?


Wulf


----------



## Nail

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *[sigh]
> 
> I don't suppose it would help matters any if I described it as two-fisted action?*




Ouch.   At least it's only fists......


----------



## Gumby

Ew.  Oh wait, I read that wrong.

_I wiped out the misquote. I won't be as amused, but Eric's Grandmother will be able to sleep tonight! _


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Come on folks. Walk the line, don't flaunt it.

Get rid of that, Gumby.


----------



## Caliber

*Maybe I'm just innocent ...*

but I don't get it


----------



## Gumby

1.  Sorry, I had problems connecting after the post, and couldn't get back here until now.

2.  I probably spend too much time on the Somethingawful forums.

3.  It's probably better that you didn't, Caliber.


----------



## Dinkeldog

Okay, now that I'm caught back up from two months, come on Wulf, get the next post (maybe two) out.  I *really* want to get to *that* part.


----------



## Metus

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *Okay, now that I'm caught back up from two months, come on Wulf, get the next post (maybe two) out.  I really want to get to that part. *



Me too!  Update, update, update!  Don't leave us hanging here!


----------



## Plane Sailing

[ wakes up suddenly ]

Oh, I was just dreaming of the heady days of post-a-day Wulf... 

C'mon Wulf, we want to know what happens next! We want humour, blood, gore and in-jokes! We want big fights! And resurrections!



Cheers


----------



## Jeremy

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> I *really* want to get to *that* part.




Me too, if you know what I mean, nudge-nudge wink-wink, say no more, say no more...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> Okay, now that I'm caught back up from two months, come on Wulf, get the next post (maybe two) out.  I *really* want to get to *that* part.




Quite honestly I don't even know what part he's talking about. Other than going the whole 15 rounds with Imperagon and his cronies, the only other thing I can think of is...

OH! You mean that part with the _so-called_ paladin?

All right, I will see what I can do...


Wulf


----------



## KidCthulhu

Years ago, in a campaign before the Defenders, Piratecat had a player who was a TERRIBLE paladin.  Foul mouthed, rude and abusive (and that was the character), he was Lawful Good only in his dreams.  PC had spoken to him on numerous occasions about the shaky ground he was treading.

Finally, the straw that broke the camel's paladinhood was him cursing out an enemy in language most foul.  PC turned to the player and said "So what does your fighter do next?"

The player, a little slow on the uptake said "No, wait, I don't play a fighter.  I'm a pala...."

It was a beautiful moment.


----------



## WizarDru

Yeah....listen, KC?  That sig and picture combo?

Disturbing.


Just thought you should now.

(shudder)


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*

Wulf rolled the gargantuan morningstar into his _portable hole_ as the others looked on in disbelief. Wulf just shrugged. “Ach… maybe Verachus will buy it. I’m not in this for my health, yer know.”

After healing up they adventured on. Following their inward spiral of the tower, they opened onto a room with two of the blade-handed iron golems. The golems stood inert, but waiting. They decided to backtrack before triggering the golems.

Spiraling out to the outside of the tower, they found what appeared to be the cloud giant’s bedroom. Wulf snuck in, needlessly wary of traps, and looted the room for the few gems he could find. 

And that was it. They’d seen everything there was to see, so it was back to the iron golems. 

Wulf sighed. “I’m looking forward to tangling with these about as much as having my pants full of steel predators.” Without Dorn, and knowing the paladin’s backup weapon wouldn’t so much as scratch the finish on them, Wulf knew he’d be handling the brunt of the combat.

Shorty tugged Wulf back by his belt. “Pardon…” he said, as he cast a _wall of force_ that trapped the two golems safely into the corner. 

“Moving right along,” he said. “Quickly though.” He wagged his stumpy finger in warning. His spell wouldn’t last forever.

The golems guarded a short, narrow passage that led out of the room and ended in two doors.  They could feel heat emanating from the doors. Wulf turned and hustled everyone back out of the room so he could work them over for traps.

_Grand adventures call for grand heroes,_ Wulf thought. He looked around the corner at his comrades, who waited patiently for him to detect any traps the doors might hold. Wulf knew full well that his skills—though often tested—were useless. He gritted his teeth and just yanked the bloody doors open.

Wulf was never quite certain what the two _symbols_ were that he triggered that day, but he could tell from the queasiness in his guts that only his epic fortitude and dwarven resilience to magic saved him from an unexpected date with Haela. Or Moradin. Or whoever the hell was runnin’ the show.

The doors opened onto two staircases: one up, one down. Wulf called the party over and gestured at the staircases. “Decisions, decisions,” he mused.

“I think we should retreat and regroup,” suggested the paladin.

A tiny, mocking voice piped up from behind. “Aww, does Karak miss his wittle sword?” Shorty was uncharacteristically bitter. Wulf was liking him more by the minute.

“Up we go,” Wulf said.

The stairs at the top ended in a door that resisted all their attempts to open it. Shorty tried to _dispel_ it, to no avail. 

“Are yer sure yer usin’ that spell right?” Wulf asked. 

Shorty ignored him and tried again. And again. And again. Four times, no luck.

While Wulf was busy both admiring the halfling’s tenacity and bemoaning his general ineptitude, and Shorty was trying to curse his way _through_ the door, Keldas glided past to think his way _around_ the problem. He _disintegrated_ the wall beside the door. He stepped aside to give everyone a clear view of the room inside. 

The room was dark—not so much magically dark as rather supernaturally so—but they could make out rows and rows of dark, tattered hangings. It was like a side-show haunted house, divided up by curtains to screen the deeper portions of the room. 

They were unanimous in their suspicions. Even the most optimistic adventurer couldn’t help a sense of paranoia at the creepy décor.

“Who’s going in?” asked Karak, trying unsuccessfully to keep the tone in his voice from betraying the answer he already knew. 

“Well,” said Wulf, “I have an idea for starters. Diessa, cast a _divine storm_ in there—about head height—and shred those hangings to pieces. Then we can talk about who’s goin’ in.”

Diessa complied and in moments, the curtains were shredded around the room. Though the room was darker than it should be, they could see into it. There was lots of dust, and… were there bits of bone here and there?

Wulf looked at Karak.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “One o’ them curtains drops down an’ surrounds yer, I _promise_ to come in and hack on yer. Ach, _it_, rather.”

After much coaxing, Karak took the first tentative steps into the room. “What exactly do you want me to do here, Wulf?”

Wulf kept a safe, respectable distance from the room, and called in. “Yer know. The usual. Kick some o’ them bones around. _Disturb_ things. If there’s an altar, lick it!”

The paladin shuffled around in the scraps. Ere long he discovered a small black pouch. He picked it up and came trotting out of the room. Wulf retreated from the paladin’s proffered pouch. Grabbing Keldas, he hustled him forward. “Looks like magic, elf. Check ‘er out.”

Keldas took the pouch. “Hmm… Conjuration magic.” He opened the pouch. 

A huge, cat-like, ghostly figure suddenly appeared and attacked the wizard. Karak acted so quickly Wulf barely had time to be impressed. The ghost-touch bastard sword whistled out and sliced the hellish, hissing creature in half quicker than you could say, “Fras!”

The pouch contained a valuable black pearl, and as the room had no other methods of entry or exit, and the party was otherwise stymied, Wulf amused himself by arguing with the paladin over the pearl. 

“Can I have that pearl for my dragon?” “No.” “Please?” “Hell no.”

“Quiet, you two,” Keldas said. “The tower is obviously larger than just this single room. I am thinking of a way past these walls.”

“Just _disintegrate_ it again,” suggested Shorty.

“I have used my only _disintegration_ for the day.”

“Tee hee!” snorted Shorty.

Keldas snapped his fingers. “Polymorph Any Object,” he said. And like that, he turned a large section of the iron wall into mud.

Wulf stared at the oozing slop. “Mud? MUD? Yer can turn it into anything yer want, anything in the world, and that’s the best yer come up with? How about diamond dust? Or a nekkid woman?”

Diessa rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. “Please, can we move along?”

“Nice rack!” Wulf exclaimed, pushing past the priestess.

The gap opened onto a vast chamber—_definitely_ giant-sized, Wulf thought—with a large table, chairs, and a long curtain that served as the western wall. But it was the weapons rack on the southern wall, full of masterwork blades, that lured Wulf into the room. Most of the weapons were giant-sized, but Wulf studied them briefly with a craftsman’s curiosity. They bore Imperagon’s maker’s mark.

“Wulf, come check out this desk,” said Shorty. Wulf stumped his way over to the east side of the room and gave the desk a cursory once-over before coming across a metal box. Like the door they had experienced earlier, the box somehow “resisted” being opened.

Wulf now moved to the door next to the weapons rack. Though the party was still mulling about in the room behind him, the lack of enemies on the upper floor had lulled Wulf into a false sense of security. He tugged open the door.

The door opened immediately onto the corner of an L-shaped balcony that overlooked a deeper chamber below—an area of the lower level they had not previously uncovered. Wulf spotted two giants standing on the lower level—even with his limited powers of observation he could hardly miss them, especially as they were staring right at him and reaching for hefty boulders.

“Sorry, wrong room,” Wulf said, speaking Giantish. He hadn’t found much use for it since Halma died, but he was glad to have it handy. He casually slammed the door.

“SHORTY!” he hissed. “Get up here and _chain lightning_ them-- again and again!”

“No way,” Shorty said. “Maybe you guys get in front, gimme some cover first, I’ll do it.”

“For goodness sake!” Keldas moaned. “All these demands, you’d think he was a teamster or something.”

It took them far too long to get themselves organized and open the door again. The scene was a little different when they yanked the door open again.

Two steel predators. Two fire giants. The duergar monk. An old woman-- with Keldas’ staff. A gelugon, no doubt summoned from that staff. The evil “trumpet archon,” aka, small boy #2. 

Helkitren. 

And Imperagon.

Wulf drew his weapons. “Let’s roll.”


----------



## seasong

Wulf's comments on the use of Polymorph Any Object - perfect!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

seasong said:
			
		

> *Wulf's comments on the use of Polymorph Any Object - perfect! *




Hey, when yer right, yer right.

I was sorely disappointed not to get the nekkid woman, but I suppose it's for the best. We never could have made it work:

I mean really, sometimes talking to her was like talking to a wall!


----------



## Capellan

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I was sorely disappointed not to get the nekkid woman, but I suppose it's for the best. We never could have made it work:
> 
> I mean really, sometimes talking to her was like talking to a wall! *




You *did* post this to Piratecat's bad D&D jokes thread too, right?  Right?

Because if you didn't, his players are missing out - though a lot of them will probably read it here anyway, I guess.


----------



## Elocin

First time poster in this story hour but I have been reading from the get go and I must admit that this story is one of the best.  I would rate it just below Piratecat's.  I do so LOVE Wulf and I can not wait to play a dwarf myself.

I am thinking there is about to be a whole world of hurt raining down shortly and I hope it comes form the party.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Elocin said:
			
		

> *I am thinking there is about to be a whole world of hurt raining down shortly and I hope it comes form the party. *




Well, you're close... There's about to be world of hurt raining down on SHORTY, does that count?


----------



## Spatzimaus

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *"If there?s an altar, lick it!?
> 
> The ghost-touch bastard sword whistled out and sliced the hellish, hissing creature in half quicker than you could say, ?Fras!?
> *




Not only does he have a strange sense of humor, he references some of the classics...


----------



## Piratecat

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Two steel predators. Two fire giants. The duergar monk. An old woman-- with Keldas’ staff. A gelugon, no doubt summoned from that staff. The evil “trumpet archon,” aka, small boy #2.
> *




Straight from KidCthulhu's mouth:

"Yeah, that small boy seems like a trumpet archon. You know, small.  Easy to blow."


----------



## Jeremy

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Piratecat said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Straight from KidCthulhu's mouth:
> 
> "Yeah, that small boy seems like a trumpet archon. You know, small.  Easy to blow." *




*blink* *blink*  What!?


----------



## Piratecat

Don't blame me, man. I'm just the messenger.


----------



## Dougal DeKree

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Spiraling out to the outside of the tower, they found what appeared to be the cloud giant’s bedroom. Wulf snuck in, needlessly wary of traps, and looted the room for the few gems he could find.*




Hi Wulf!

Does that mean you went for "the Cloud Giants Family Jewels"?!
Just wondering if the Assmar influenced you...  

Cheers
Dougal DeKree, gnomish Illusionist


----------



## Plane Sailing

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



> _Originally posted by Wulf Ratbane _
> 
> Shorty tugged Wulf back by his belt. “Pardon…” he said, as he cast a _wall of force_ that trapped the two golems safely into the corner.




Smart move. I wonder, does this come under the DMG heading of "bypassing a foe earns full experience for it"? Can't come much more easily earnt than that!



> If there’s an altar, lick it!”
> ...
> sliced the hellish, hissing creature in half quicker than you could say, “Fras!”




As Seasong said - nice references to Sagiro's and Contact's SH's 



> “Nice rack!” Wulf exclaimed, pushing past the priestess.
> ...
> But it was the weapons rack on the southern wall, full of masterwork blades, that lured Wulf into the room.




No comment...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Smart move. I wonder, does this come under the DMG heading of "bypassing a foe earns full experience for it"? Can't come much more easily earnt than that!*




(smart move + DMG) / dinkeldog = zero xp


----------



## seasong

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> As Seasong said - nice references to Sagiro's and Contact's SH's



Actually, Spatzimaus mentioned that. It was vary nice, though .


----------



## Plane Sailing

*Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				seasong said:
			
		

> *Actually, Spatzimaus mentioned that. It was vary nice, though . *




Ah, I liked your comment too, and the both of you got muddled up in my mind (I hope Spatzi doesn't mind the misattribution!


----------



## Plane Sailing

*Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> (smart move + DMG) / dinkeldog = zero xp *




I don't suppose you really needed that 9000xp (guessing) at this point though, did you?


----------



## Nail

*Re: Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I don't suppose you really needed that 9000xp (guessing) at this point though, did you?  *




After all, what's a few 1000 XP amongst friends?

....But seriously, I often wonder how many DMs out there (myself included) would've given XP for moves like this.   (IOW: Bloody and painful encounter completely bypassed with little effort on the parts of the players.....other than out-thinking the adventure designers.)


----------



## Caliber

Personally, I would only give the party XP for an encounter like this if I felt they really needed.

I do award XP for getting through an encounter without combat, but I doubt I would give any for teleporting past a big scary monster. 

This worked out to be pretty similar, at least from the story said.


----------



## Jeremy

If they successfully convinced the Iron Golems that they were guests of Imperagon and were admitted by them would they have gotten XP?

If so, I think they should have gotten half or maybe even full XP for clever use of a long duration spell to defeat their enemies.

But that's me.  At the time it probably didn't seem important.


----------



## Dawn

I’m not sure about giving full experience for bypassing the encounter as Shorty did.  Maybe a partial award – and then only to Shorty.


----------



## Squire James

I would probably give credit for bypassing the golems like that as if they were a trap, which comes out about CR 8 or 9.

When my players played this mod, they inexplicably took a month off to craft magic items, even though I made it clear they were working against the clock.  Imperagon was out finishing up conquering Rigus by the time they got back to the fortress...

They did the same sort of thing in RttToE after the Outer Fane... I gained a lot of "villain plots advanced beyond the module's scope" experience with these guys!


----------



## Dinkeldog

They only got the xp for the golems once.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dawn said:
			
		

> I’m not sure about giving full experience for bypassing the encounter as Shorty did.  Maybe a partial award – *and then only to Shorty. *




What's this nonsense? What, you think Shorty can do his thing without the rest of us there to protect him?

We'll see how well THAT turns out...


Wulf


----------



## coyote6

Yeah, the only XP I don't split up when I'm GMing is for pure roleplaying, or for things done strictly solo. The latter hasn't happened yet, IIRC. 

(Casting a spell with all your pals around is no more "solo" than rolling a 20 for initiative, and following it with a critical hit that kills the sole bad guy in a fight.)

I'd probably have given the PCs partial XP for that, if they didn't end up having to actually fight 'em later. I'm guessing that Wulf & co. did end up facing those two golems, though.


----------



## Halma

*Wall of Force*

Wall of Force kicks ass.. if they don't have teleport.  With that said I am all for Dawn's idea of Shorty getting all the Exp.  He does all the work anyway...Hhehehehehehehe...







 


Halma the Dead Barbarian........?


Oh.  Nice post Ben.....er... Wulf...


----------



## Nail

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *They only got the xp for the golems once. *




I.e. "Sure, they bypassed 'em....for now."  And then the golems came after Wulf and co.?

BTW, would _GMW_ work on a _blade barrier_?  Or at least on one of the whirling blades?  (shrug)  I'm thinking that that plus a _wall of force_ would just nuke th' golems...with no injuries on the PCs side.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> We'll see how well THAT turns out...
> *




C'mon, we've had the hints, let's see the carnage!


----------



## shilsen

Yeah! What Plane Sailing said. We need some bloody bits here.


----------



## Bronz Dragon

*Exp.  Awards*

I would give them exp.  for a trick once or twice, but if the party used it constantly, there would be penalties.  Like 110% less exp penalties.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Nail said:
			
		

> *BTW, would GMW work on a blade barrier?  Or at least on one of the whirling blades?  (shrug)  I'm thinking that that plus a wall of force would just nuke th' golems...with no injuries on the PCs side. *




Oof. Don't make me open up that can of worms again.

Blade Barrier is a spell (note that SR applies); it does magical damage with a type identifier of _physical_. Essentially no different than a fireball that does _fire_-type damage. Both spells, both do magic damage, just different types of damage identifiers.

There's no real blade to enhance on a blade barrier and golems are pretty much immune to spells (although my comrades seem to forget this little tidbit _every time_ and invariably open a fight against golems with a worthless salvo of spells).

Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

I always found "roc to mud" an ideal spell against iron golems... especially when followed up by its reverse!


----------



## Eridanis

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *I always found "roc to mud" an ideal spell against iron golems... especially when followed up by its reverse! *




There's nothing I hate more than muddy feathers falling from the sky.


----------



## Jeremy

Wulf-a-day!  Wulf-a-day!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Not possible, as I am travelling on business.

But over the holidays, I will do whatever it takes to get caught up to the very end.

Starting 12/21 or so...


----------



## Jeremy

Two Towers and Shorty's Powers on the same weekend.  For joy!


----------



## Dawn

Found this on page two.  
That will never do.
Bump this I will
While waiting for our fill.

Never was any good with poetry......


----------



## pogre

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *Not possible, as I am travelling on business.
> 
> But over the holidays, I will do whatever it takes to get caught up to the very end.
> 
> Starting 12/21 or so... *




T Minus One day to Wulf update!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

preparatory bump


----------



## RatPunk

WAHOO!!!

I am aquiver with anticipation!

Or maybe it's just chilly in my office...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

This is a huge update... Should I post it in parts?

Jeez, what a FIGHT!


Wulf


----------



## Taren Seeker

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *This is a huge update... Should I post it in parts?
> 
> Jeez, what a FIGHT!
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Oh, for...

&!@#*($!!

Now you're just messing with us.

Just post it. POST IT ALL!


----------



## Reg Dword

> Just post it. POST IT ALL!




I concur.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*

Wulf was jostled out of the way as Keldas and the dragon plowed into the room. An unexpected move, Wulf thought, but the element of surprise was already lost to Imperagon and his allies. Imperagon cast a spell and a ghostly warhammer appeared in the air above Keldas.

“Oooh! Watch out,” Keldas sneered. “He’s a low-level cleric!”

_True enough,_ Wulf thought. _Is that the best he’s got?_

Wulf could hear Shorty’s incantations behind him. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, in anticipation of the chain lightning that would blast their enemies apart—but nothing happened. Shorty’s spell fizzled, countered by some unholy aura that protected all their enemies. He tried again, but his second spell fared no better.

Shorty cut loose with a blast of profanity that turned even Wulf’s ears red. “This sucks! I’m useless! I’m teleporting home!”

“Nooooo!” Keldas shouted. His eye was on the prize: the staff carried by the old woman.

From somewhere ahead Keldas heard an infernal cackle and the sound of spellcasting. An invisible devil—clearly, a very powerful devil at that—cut loose with a _meteor swarm_, with Shorty at ground zero. Shorty’s skin flared, red and scaly, and he counted himself lucky that he’d prepared a _dragonskin_ spell earlier.

“Impressive,” said the fallen archon. “Now try this.”

Shorty resisted the _destruction_ spell—barely. 

“And this…” 

Shorty lit up like a lightning rod at the center of a _chain lightning_.

“They’ve got a hard-on for Shorty today…” Wulf couldn’t defend the halfling against spells. There was nothing he could do but hold the door.

Two steel predators crept up in front of Wulf and roared. Shorty was completely shredded by the sonic blast. Dead and gone—but at least the roaring drowned out the tiny whimper.

Keldas knew he’d be next. He cast _power word stun_ on the old woman, to no effect, followed by _maze_, with similar, unsatisfactory results.

“We can’t get spells through!” he groaned.

The old woman flashed a toothy grin and blasted Keldas with a spell from the staff. Wulf didn’t recognize the spell, but he could recognize the effects from the vapid stare on Keldas’ face. A fate worse than death: _feeblemind_. 

With rocks from the giants raining down around them, Wulf grabbed Shorty’s remains, Diessa cast _plane shift_, and they all returned home. Well, almost home.

Wulf and Diessa compared notes. At a conservative estimate, they were several hundreds of miles from the Forge, with no easy way to _teleport_ home besides the paladin’s helm.

Wulf unrolled the _portable hole_. 

“Not again,” said Karak.

“It’s all right,” Wulf said. “Keldas, get in the hole!”

With all the happy obedience of a lobotomized puppy, Keldas obliged. Wulf tossed Shorty’s remains in after him. 

Wulf stared at the dragon. “Yer turn, boy.”

The dragon transformed and hopped into the hole. He stood looking at Shorty’s remains, and seemed genuinely touched. 

They rolled up the hole, and Karak _teleported_ back to the Forge with the two dwarves. The Old Man was waiting for them.

“You’ve failed _again_?” he asked.

“Sarcasm noted,” Wulf said. “Just get busy with the feeb-healin’ and peck-ressurectin’.”

Karak sat down with a pathetic sigh.

“And get somebody to fix his bleedin’ sword!” 

Wulf stomped off to make his own preparations.

***

Soon enough, as usual, they were ready to try again. Imperagon had beefed up his front gate security: Two giants, a golem, and—if the dragon was to be believed—some kind of invisible bird now guarded the front door.

One of the giants turned to run for help and was immediately _disintegrated_ by Keldas. Playing tit-for-tat, the bird somehow attempted to _disintegrate_ Keldas, but the unusually hearty elf resisted its effects. The battle was soon in full swing; with Shorty and Keldas lending magical support, Wulf and Karak took care of the golem and the dragon tangled with the invisible bird. 

Two _concussions_ and an _inertial barrier_ later, they realized the bird was some kind of psion. Little help against the jaws of the dragon, however. Soon enough, Imperagon’s guards were dispatched, and they stepped to the front doors. 

They were locked—and the password had apparently been changed.

“Yeah,” Wulf said. “That’ll stop me.” _Taranak_ blazed to life in Wulf’s hands and he started hacking his way through the front doors. After a moment of disbelief, Karak stepped up to lend a hand with his reforged sword.

“Remind me,” said Shorty. “Why are doing this, again? Other than HIS quest?” He pointed an accusatory finger at the paladin.

“Well, there are some dwarven souls trapped here,” said Keldas, clearly struggling with it himself.

“Oh, so NOW there’s a point,” said Shorty. 

Wulf was through the doors and in the sudden silence overheard their conversation. “Ey! Don’t look at me. I’m here for adamantium, and if I’m not mistaken, there’s the little matter of yer staff…”

Wulf booted his way through the remains of the doors and led the charge up the stairs. The dragon bounded alongside, his keen eyes, ears, and nose on the look-out for invisible enemies. “Mephit,” he announced. “Running off to warn them, no doubt…”

“This is suicide… again,” groused Shorty.

“It’s all right, I got a plan,” Wulf said.

“Now?” asked the dragon.

“Not yet. When yer see two out o’ three bad-asses,” Wulf said. He handed a scroll to the dragon. 

“Wait a second, what’s up?” asked Karak.

“_Anti-magic shell._” Wulf shrugged. 

“But that will remove all his protections…”

Wulf tried hard to contain his exasperation, hoping there was a chance that logic would persuade the paladin. “Yer see anybody else standin’ here as good in the buff as yer dragon?”

“Keep that thing away from me,” Shorty said.

“Seconded,” said Keldas.

“I don’t mind,” said the dragon. “It’s a chance…”

Karak was unconvinced.

“He’s a friggin’ _dragon_,” said Wulf. “Not a horse. Not a boy. Grow a pair already.”

“Maybe he should read it now, then,” said Karak. He was slowly warming to the idea.

“Two out o’ three,” said Wulf. “Old woman and Imperagon,”

“Imperagon’s a low-level cleric,” Keldas reminded him.

“… Trumpet archon and pit fiend,” Wulf continued. “Yer get the idea, right?”

Diessa was wasting no time with conversation. She cast _freedom of movement_ on Wulf and _silence_ on a small stone. That would reduce the impact of the steel predators. She gestured to the door. 

The spellcasters backed up and Wulf booted the door. A gelugon stood ready on the balcony, towering over the doorway, but he was too slow to handle Wulf. _Taranak_ blossomed in his right hand and his _chaos mace_ found its way into his other. His _helm of protection from evil_ would protect him, but with a rousing cry of “Ferkit!” Wulf was committed to action. Mere seconds later the gelugon was nearly out of the fight. Wulf’s wide stance left no doubt that they’d have to go through him if they wanted to hassle his friends behind him.

Diessa cast _recitation_ and _invisibility purge_ while giants from the floor below the balcony hurled rocks. Wulf held his ground until he heard the dragon reading the scroll behind him. Wulf crossed his fingers, well aware that there was some chance the dragon would flub the powerful magic. Soon, however, he felt his magic items wane, and he stepped aside long enough for the dragon to slink through the door and charge the old woman. 

The pit fiend appeared, and proving himself a creature of habit, he sent another _meteor swarm_ Shorty’s way. Once again, red _dragonskin_ made the difference between life and death for the little sorcerer.

Now wrapped in an anti-magic field and faced with the powerful jaws of a dragon, the old woman took the better part of valor, tucked up her skirts, and raced for the back of the room. The trumpet archon scoffed at this turn of events, and it soon became clear that he had his own agenda. He cast _greater dispelling_ on Karak and started making his way along the balcony to get to grips with his hated foe. 

Shorty cast _slow_ on a group of villains that had assembled in front of the door. Among the predator, gelugon, the duergar monk, and the smoke mephit, only the mephit seemed affected. 

Keldas was puzzling over the insane amount of spell resistance that all of Imperagon’s allies seemed to share, and he finally figured out that it was due to an _unholy aura_ that protected them all. He had little time to act on his knowledge, however, as the gelugon suddenly disappeared from Wulf’s reach and _teleported_ itself into the room behind him. Shorty, Keldas, and Diessa were all within reach of its wicked claws. 

Imperagon appeared suddenly as he stepped within range of the _invisibility purge_ and he took a swipe at Wulf. “Bring it!” Wulf grinned as he easily dodged the blow. Wulf’s attention was diverted from the huge fire elemental that suddenly appeared on the balcony. Unable to attack Wulf directly due to his _protection from evil_, the creature took a swipe over his head at Karak. Wulf felt the heat wave pass over his head but didn’t give the creature a second thought.

Helkitren, Lord of the Salamanders, stepped out from the room below and showered the group with lightning. 

_That bastard is three or four adventures overdue for his ass-kickin’,_ Wulf thought. What with Imperagon, Helkitren, and the sight of the dragon down below, absolutely freaking out on one of the giants with jaws, claws, and wings, Wulf didn’t see the steel predators leaping at him. The first dragged him down with its jaws and the second clamped down on _Taranak_. Its teeth glanced harmlessly off the shaft.

“_Greater magic weapon…_” Wulf growled. “No go.”

The female duergar stepped up to Wulf and rained blows on him with fists and feet. “That would work better with an axe,” Wulf said, still struggling in the jaws of the steel predator. “Gimme just one second, I’ll show yer…”

“Enough boasting,” said the archon. He cast _destruction_, and once again Wulf felt the now-familiar calling of Haela Bright-axe. Bad luck now could kill him. 

_I’ll take my chances,_ he thought. He brushed away thoughts of Haela and steeled himself against the spell. It hurt—but he wasn’t dead. 

Beneath the claws of the gelugon, Keldas bent his concentration on dispelling the _unholy aura_. Twice he tried _greater dispelling_, twice he failed. Shorty, too, failed with his own _greater dispelling_. He wasn’t willing to waste a second action, however; he cast _confusion_ into the room—but it was countered by the unholy aura! The gelugon chuckled and created a _wall of ice_ to separate the three spellcasters from Wulf, Karak, and the dragon.

It began to dawn on the group that they were losing… again.

Karak stepped up to lend aid to Wulf, landing blow after blow and wounding the steel predator just enough for Wulf to finish it off and regain his feet. Wulf’s mace swept out and landed two powerful blows into Imperagon’s ribs. Imperagon staggered back and Wulf took a quick step of his own back through the doorway, putting the _wall of ice_ at his back.

Diessa cast _dispel evil_ and with one touch, the gelugon’s _wall of ice_ was gone. They could see into the room again, but it wasn’t a pretty sight: The giants had surrounded the dragon and were dismantling it limb from limb. Its duty unfulfilled, the dragon was forced to flee—and was nearly killed in the fleeing. 

“To the side door!” shouted Karak. A door to their left led off the balcony and (if they were lucky) should join up with the others in the back room. The dragon limped and bounded towards the door, well aware that the slinking mephit was on its heels. The dragon knew it was near enough death that the mephit might actually finish it off. But it was the evil archon on the balcony that was the prime concern.

All of Karak’s focus was suddenly on his dragon and he just barely pulled his sword out of the snapping jaws of the last predator. Their enemies, sensing weakness, converged on the paladin. The duergar monk tumbled past Wulf, hoping to strike Karak with a stunning blow, but the paladin’s growing determination was not to be deterred so simply. Imperagon stepped over to block the paladin’s path. Summoning his will, Karak twice tried to smite Imperagon, but his determination had given way to desperation, and he missed wildly. Imperagon’s own hammer struck true, however, and Karak was pressed back. He could only watch in frustration as the giants hurled boulders at the retreating dragon, determined to bring it down. By the narrowest of margins, the dragon somehow cheated death and escaped into the side door—with the archon in hot pursuit.

Back in the room behind them, Keldas attempted to _disintegrate_ the gelugon, and failing that, followed with a _power word stun_. This time, at last, his magic was true. And while the gelugon stood reeling, Shorty was finally able to dispel the _unholy aura!_

A second gelugon, summoned by the old woman—more precisely, summoned by Keldas’ staff—suddenly appeared in their midst, cackled wildly, and created a new _unholy aura_. A third gelugon created a _wall of ice_ across the main doorway. They were right back in the frying pan. The laughter of their foes was drowned out by Wulf’s howl of frustration. “Sons o’ bitches!” Wulf stepped back into the room and, in one swift stroke, crushed the skull of the stunned gelugon.

The old woman was non-plussed. A _fireball_ streaked from the tip of Keldas’ staff and detonated in the room, blasting friend and foe alike. Among her allies, only the duergar monk was harmed—and neither the old woman nor Wulf and his allies gave her a second thought as she fled the battlefield.

There was no doubt that Keldas was the more experienced caster as he managed to fire off spell after spell. However, though he seemed able to overcome the _unholy aura_, he couldn’t seem to best his enemies’ natural resistance. The second gelugon easily resisted both a _polymorph any object_ and a _hold monster._ 

Karak raced across the back room and threw wide the door into the hallway where his dragon had retreated. He cast _heal mount_ and the dragon was back in the fight. Unfortunately, Karak had wounds of his own to worry about, and the archon was eager for his blood. The archon’s trumpet transformed into a huge sword.

Wulf suddenly burst past Karak into the hallway, and together with the dragon assailed the archon. The creature’s defenses were nigh impenetrable—its natural armor, its supernatural reflexes, and its skill at arms were too much. The archon sneered at Karak and turned to stab its sword into the dragon’s chest.

Back on the balcony, their foes suddenly realized that the battle lines had completely shifted. Helkitren _fireballed_ the _wall of ice_ and a giant and a steel predator charged through. The pit fiend stepped through a _dimension door_ and attempted an _aura of fear_, but the group had come together around Karak and the paladin’s courageousness carried them all through.

Karak cast _Holy Sword_ on his weapon. Clearly, he was pissed.

He stepped up to strike the archon, one!  two! three blows!—or was it four? Truthfully, Wulf lost count in the deafening whiff-whiff-whiff of unsuccessful strikes. 

Shorty cast _cone of cold_ at the enemies pouring into the room. His first attempt, in a nod to the traditional uselessness of halflings, failed utterly to beat the spell resistance of their foes. But the second attempt! A wave of cold washed over the giant and the predator in the room, killing the giant dead and wounding the predator severely. The spell picked up momentum as it passed through the chilling breach in the _wall of ice_, and spilled out again onto the balcony, where it blasted the fire elemental, Helkitren, and Imperagon.

“To hell with this!” shouted Helkitren, his wiry beard still steaming. “Imperagon, the deal is broken!” And with a puff of sulfur, the salamander was gone!

“Well done, Shorty!” shouted Keldas. “One down is good enough for me-- retreat!”

Keldas heard a low dwarven growl from the next room. “We are not leaving without your staff.”

“I have almost no sp—“

“WE ARE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT YOUR STAFF.”

“You may not leave at all, mortal!” screeched a gelugon, as yet another _wall of ice_ sprang up—this time, inside the room and across the side door. Wulf, Karak, and the dragon were once again separated from the spellcasters. 

A second gelugon entered the room and hissed at Shorty. “I _suggest_ you drop all your magical protections…” Shorty’s will was weak, but among his various spells, only his _mage armor_ could be dismissed at will. 

On the other side of the wall of ice, the hallway was blasted with heat as the huge fire elemental flowed towards them. It moved past Wulf, still ignoring him, and put a fiery fist into the face of the dragon. 

“Enough of this bullsh--,” Wulf grumbled. He dashed down the hallway, past the archon and the elemental, and hurled  himself off the balcony. He flipped, rolled to his feet, and continued his headong charge right into the old woman. _Taranak_ flashed eagerly as he swung it overhead, right down the center of the old woman’s forehead. Her wide-eyed, startled look gave way to an evil sneer as Wulf’s blow struck empty air. 

“Displacement,” he said. “Oh, yer sneaky whore…”

Back in the hallway Karak had his hands full with the archon, who had finally decided to focus his attacks on the paladin. The dragon did his best, breathing lightning across the archon, elemental, and even the mephit, but for the most part their other-wordly foes were unimpressed. Keldas struck and struck again at the archon with his _holy sword_, missing repeatedly. With a burst of _hasted_ action, he finally struck true, and the sword bit deeply into the evil heart of the archon. 

The spellcasters were not having a good day. Imperagon walked into the room and breathed fire across them, the pit fiend cast a _fireball_, and the predator was snapping relentlessly at Diessa’s warhammer. Keldas managed to summon a dire bear to deal with the predator, while Shorty’s fingertips flashed with two _prismatic sprays_ in a row. Unfortunately, among the various rays that struck, their infernal enemies had little trouble with fire, electricity, and poison. The gelugon responded with a _cone of cold_ that struck them all—including the steel predator. The second gelugon did the same, striking even Imperagon. The gelugon’s gaffes were little consolation: when the frost and steam cleared, Diessa lay dead.

On the floor below, Wulf fought alone against the old woman. She skipped back several paces and cast a _charm monster_ on Wulf, and he was tempted once again to call for Haela’s luck. _Not today_, he thought. By his own will, the spell failed. 

The old woman saw the determination in Wulf’s eyes and thought better of the direct approach. She conjured a crackling blue _fire shield_ to protect her. Wulf charged up and pushed her roughly against the wall. If he was going to strike through her _displacement_, he needed time to bring all his weapons to bear. 

Another giant had entered the hall with Karak and the dragon. Sensing that the archon was a lost cause, the dragon unleashed its fury on the giant. His jaws struck a telling blow, followed by two claws and a rake with its wingtips. Feeling a rising confidence, his tail lashed out behind and struck the archon!

“I’ll deal with you in a moment, little gnat…” said the archon, pressing the attack on Karak. Dim explosions rattled the _wall of ice_ behind him and the paladin knew that things were not going well for Keldas and Shorty.

Imperagon cast a fireball on the pair of them, while the predator wrestled viciously with the dire bear. Keldas could tell that the bear would not long survive, and neither he nor Shorty could contend with a steel predator. “We’ve done our best,” he said. Grabbing Shorty and Diessa’s remains, Keldas cast _plane shift_, and they were gone. 

Fighting defensively, Karak drew on his divine powers to heal himself with one hand even as his other hand wielded holy vengeance. As the giant leaned in to attack him, Karak struck its head clean off its shoulders. So powerful was the blow that it carried straight through into the archon, powering past its defenses and biting deeply into its side once again. There was little time for Karak to enjoy the grim satisfaction, as the gelugons began teleporting into his hallway, looking for new prey. The pit fiend followed close behind, announcing its arrival with a _wall of fire_ that surrounded Karak and the dragon. 

“Change back,” Karak said. “We need to go!”

“But… the others?”

“They must already have left,” said Karak.

“Wulf?”

“I am sure he got out ok,” Karak lied. The paladin grabbed his boy, activated his _helm of teleportation_, and fled-- abandoning Wulf to his fate.

***

The old woman ran from Wulf once again, clearly knowing the odds were on her side as long as she kept the dwarf off his game. She tried _charm monster_ again, and failing once again, conjured up a hemispherical _wall of force_ to trap him once and for all. 

“Cool your heels a bit, dwarf,”

Wulf nodded. _Taranak_ and his mace were quickly and coolly stashed on his belt and Wulf reached over his back to draw something from his magic haversack. He brought his arms down and leveled a cocked and loaded crossbow at the old woman. A look of fear and recognition filled her eyes. 

“That’s right,” Wulf said. He crimped the toe of his boot against the inside of the _wall of force_ so he’d know instantly when it vanished. “I’m on to yer game. _Nobody_ resists a _maze_, rakshasa.” 

The pair of gelugons and the pit fiend arrived to surround Wulf, but he never took his eye or his aim off the old woman. Still, it was looking pretty bad. Wulf held the crossbow under one arm and grabbed a scroll of _plane shift_ off his belt. He unrolled the scroll and scanned its contents. 

Complete jibberish. “Dammit.”

The pit fiend stepped forward to demand his surrender. Wulf feigned deafness. “Eh? Can’t hear you through this wall!” 

“Lower your weapons and perhaps we can come to an… arrangement.” Fiery spittle dropped from its jaws and fell hissing to the floor.

“What?” Wulf asked. “You mean… this?” He held out the useless scroll and grinned.

_An ass to the last,_ Wulf thought. He gave himself a little thumbs up.


----------



## Taren Seeker

Holy crap.

That kicked much ass. That's also probably the cruelest cliffhanger yet, just beautiful. Oh, and:

*



			An ass to the last, Wulf thought. He gave himself a little thumbs up.
		
Click to expand...


*
A-ferking-men. Hail to the King under the Mountain!

*thumbs up*


----------



## LightPhoenix

That did indeed kick so much ass.


----------



## jonrog1

Okay, I now am completely in awe of D-Dog.  How in the name of H*LL did he run those two massive combats, keep everything moving and not fumble all the tactics, spells and stats?

Time to sit down and crank out the .pdf book _DMing Big-@ss Combats_ for the rest of us.


----------



## Thorntangle

Sounds like this one took a couple of days to run. Could this be the end? Nah, somehow I don't think so.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

jonrog1 said:
			
		

> *How in the name of H*LL did he run those two massive combats, keep everything moving and not fumble all the tactics, spells and stats?*




Not to mention keeping an eye on the peck-- err, paladin, whatever-- in constant vigilance of the ever-looming cheat.


Wulf


----------



## shilsen

Holy ferkin'...! Damn good fight. So how long did it take in real time to run? And when's the next update ?

Minor nitpick - I believe the rakshasa would be affected by a maze spell. The spell immunity ability is essentially 100% effective SR. Maze is unaffected by SR, so it would affect the target just fine.


----------



## Grog

Is that the end of Wulf's Story Hour??


----------



## KidCthulhu

Gulp.  [Bites nails.]  Go on.  Then what happened?


----------



## Gumby

My God.  How many hit points do your characters have these days?

edit:  This is one of your best posts yet, Wulf.  Excitement!  Danger!  Betrayal!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Gumby said:
			
		

> *My God.  How many hit points do your characters have these days?*




Me? I've got lots. 

Shorty? Not so much.

Though it's not in my notes, in retrospect I strongly suspect there was some _protection from elements_ at work, at least for fire. Probably not the cold, though...


Wulf


----------



## pogre

Great friggin' write up my man [Dwarf]! I can't wait to read the next installment tomorrow

BTW - Happy Holidays.


----------



## Immort

Bah, can the wuss text, I want more action!

-Immort


----------



## Elder-Basilisk

So is this the bit of the story that made you refer to the "former paladin?"


----------



## Spatula

So does Wulf normally carry around blessed crossbow bolts, or was he just bluffing?

I'm also curious about the Gelugons - they have regeneration and can only be harmed by holy or blessed weapons.  Did the group actually have blessed weapons, or did Dinkledog forget about this?


----------



## Lord Pendragon

> He stepped up to strike the archon, one! two! three blows!—or was it four? Truthfully, Wulf lost count in the deafening whiff-whiff-whiff of unsuccessful strikes.




The Master's still got it.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Spatula said:
			
		

> *
> I'm also curious about the Gelugons - they have regeneration and can only be harmed by holy or blessed weapons.  Did the group actually have blessed weapons, or did Dinkledog forget about this? *




Greater Magic Weapon cast by a cleric makes a weapon count as "Blessed". We know that Wulf has GMW active, but don't know who cast it... that might have been the manner in which Gelugons were affected.


----------



## Plane Sailing

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (cont.)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *“I am sure he got out ok,” Karak lied. The paladin grabbed his boy, activated his helm of teleportation, and fled-- abandoning Wulf to his fate. *




So many great lines in that update, and I loved the sense of desperation in the combat. It sounds like the Gelugons were played especially cannily, using their wall of ice to divide up the battlefield.

Also, I liked the fact that Helkitren decided to break the deal and escape when things weren't going his way. That's one of the only times I've seen bad guys desert one another, and I think it should probably happen more often!

But the big question, of course... HOW will Wulf get out of THIS one?

(just checked the Wall of Force description - I'd not spotted that _No Save_ against being trapped by it! Why bother with the 7th level force cube, one wonders...)


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *Greater Magic Weapon cast by a cleric makes a weapon count as "Blessed". We know that Wulf has GMW active, but don't know who cast it... that might have been the manner in which Gelugons were affected. *




Truthfully, I'd say it was overlooked, but then I was the only one to even scratch the paint on a gelugon. We only dropped the one, the rest of them were running amok. Which is why it was so important to me to get that bleedin' staff. I was tired of seeing them every battle-- first Engram, then the old woman.

Course, they might not have even been gelugons, I just took Keldas word for it. They were the big bug-lookin' mofos... gelugons, right?



> _Originally posted by Spatula_
> *So does Wulf normally carry around blessed crossbow bolts, or was he just bluffing?*




No, not normally, but no, it was no bluff. We just finally figured out that it was a rakshasa and came prepared. Sort of. I just had the one bolt so the displacement made me hold off on it for a while. I wasn't willing to risk a 50/50 shot with my instant kill weapon-- not till the very end, at least. I would have been much happier just to kill her the old-fashioned way. Hack, hack, hack...

Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Elder-Basilisk said:
			
		

> *So is this the bit of the story that made you refer to the "former paladin?" *




Believe it or not, no, I haven't even got to that part yet. But it is safe to say the paladin's downhill slide has begun-- though he's mere moments away from abandoning the hill and just throwing himself straight off the friggin' cliff.

I will try to update again today! And maybe even Christmas day...


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Immort said:
			
		

> *Bah, can the wuss text, I want more action!*




Wait a second... What wuss text?


----------



## Elocin

All I have to say is .....

(Mouth hanging open speechless) 


Nice update there Wulf and I can not wait to read the next installment.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> No, not normally, but no, it was no bluff. We just finally figured out that it was a rakshasa and came prepared. Sort of. I just had the one bolt so the displacement made me hold off on it for a while. I wasn't willing to risk a 50/50 shot with my instant kill weapon *




[clint eastwood] And you're thinking, he has a fifty percent miss chance.  But that's also a fifty percent hit chance.  Do you feel luck, punk? [/clint eastwood]


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

Whoa.

And again: whoa.

Best. Update. Ever.

Masterfully played.  I'd really like to see D-Dog weigh in here too, and talk about DMing that event.  That was some encounter!

Post quick, before my nails get any shorter!


----------



## Spatula

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *No, not normally, but no, it was no bluff. We just finally figured out that it was a rakshasa and came prepared. Sort of. I just had the one bolt so the displacement made me hold off on it for a while. I wasn't willing to risk a 50/50 shot with my instant kill weapon-- not till the very end, at least. I would have been much happier just to kill her the old-fashioned way. Hack, hack, hack...*



Not to criticize your tactics or anything, but...  Seems like you really should have focused on taking her out first.  Given that you didn't know about the displacement until later, why not open up the fight with a crossbow shot at her?

Perhaps a prepatory grab-and-run aimed at getting the staff would have been a smart move, as well.  Improved invisibility, haste, helm of teleportation, and a couple of disarm checks = no gelugons.  Of course, then we wouldn't have gotten to read about the group's desperate fight against overwhelming odds...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Spatula said:
			
		

> *Not to criticize your tactics or anything, but...  Seems like you really should have focused on taking her out first.  Given that you didn't know about the displacement until later, why not open up the fight with a crossbow shot at her?*




She stayed out of sight and out of reach for most of the fight, and had a good number of bad-asses between her and us pretty much at all times. Sorry if the overwhelming numbers weren't clear from the write-up.

Invisibility wasn't working for us-- not sure how dinkeldog worked that one out. Bottom line: They could be invisible, we couldn't.

As for taking her out, that's what the dragon was _supposed_ to do, but he ran like a bitch after one round with the giants.

Anyhow... Basically, until I jumped off the balcony to the ground floor with her, it was never a practical option.

Wulf


----------



## Immort

Wuss Text:  The bowing and scraping we all do after a great post by the Wulfinater.

Action:  The great posts OF the Wulfinater

Less bootlickin', more bootleather

-Immort


----------



## Samnell

I just want to add some wuss text by expressing my continuing and unfailing awe at the wonder that is bootleather contacting bad guy.

There. Done now.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (continued)*

Wulf suddenly found himself standing back in his Forge.

“I’m saved! It’s a miracle!”

“You got that right,” said the Old Man.

Wulf had delayed just long enough. Once Keldas had _plane shifted_ back, it was a simple matter for Shorty to _teleport_ them back to the Forge, and thence to the Old Man.

The paladin was returned by the same manner.

“How did you get back?” he asked Wulf.

“Not YOU,” Wulf said. 

The paladin’s boy spoke up. “I really thought you were better than this…”

Karak felt a sudden coldness in his heart. _Tyr was not pleased._

The party fell to bickering for several minutes. 

“You left! I couldn’t see you!” the paladin protested. “I assumed you were dead or gone.”

“Let me just see if I got this straight,” Wulf said incredulously. “Yer walk around the corner over there, I should just assume yer dead?”

“Staying was pointless! What good would more death have served?”

“I was pretty much fully healed,” the boy reminded him.

“So, Tyr is, like, the God of Valor, right?” asked Keldas, feigning ignorance.

“We were surrounded! That’s not valor, that’s suicide!”

“Chickensh*t,” Shorty said.

“And thank YOU, by the way,” Wulf said, rounding on Keldas. “Thanks for comin’ with me. Yer want that staff or NOT? I tell yer what, we get that thing back, yer better stick it in a friggin’ VAULT.”

The Old Man stepped in to intercede. “I think you will need to visit your temple, Karak, to seek an _atonement_.”

“I don’t think I WANT to atone!” yelled Karak.

The rest of the group was stunned to silence, but Wulf smiled and pounced on the paladin’s moment of weakness. “Aye, I’m with yer! Screw the gods, right?”

The argument continued unabated until the Old Man had heard enough. “I must resurrect Diessa.”

“Well, we’re out of cash, yer leech.”

The Old Man smiled. “Diessa is a child of Moradin. This one is on me.”

“I told you getting rid of Alliane was a good idea,” Keldas deadpanned. “She just saved us eight grand.”

***

Karak eventually returned from his temple. 

“How’d it go?” asked Shorty. 

“There is room for atonement. I must complete my quest—without resorting to any of my divine abilities. I don’t know how they expect me to complete this quest as a…” Karak gulped. The very thought was making him ill. “As a  _fighter_.”

“Interesting,” Shorty said, kicking back and putting his feet up. “We were just thinking about dropping the whole thing.”

“Aye,” Wulf said. “So, ahh… good luck with all _that_.”

Karak looked ready to cry.

“Oh, cut it out,” Shorty said. “Unlike _some_ people we don’t let our friends down. We’re not done yet.” 

“Pfft… These paladins today,” Wulf said. “Back in my day yer’d be stripped o’ yer powers, no questions asked. So shut up and count yer blessin’s.”

“What’s the plan, then?”

“I figure we do the same thing, only this time without all the runnin’ away and abandonin’ yer friends.”

“Third time’s the charm,” said Shorty.

“Do we try the anti-magic scroll again?” the dragon asked.

“Next verse, same as the first!” Shorty sang.

“I’m outta cash,” Wulf said. 

“I have a little tucked away,” Keldas admitted. “We’ll try it again.”

**

They returned to Acheron and prepped up about 200 yards off the main gate. 

“The guards have changed,” said the dragon.

“What yer got?” Wulf asked.

“A black golem... and a kyton—or so I’d guess from all the chains.”

As they approached the gate, the kyton shouted, “Halt, in the name of the Lord of the Iron Fortress! I have been sent to parlay.”

“Start parlayin’ then.” Wulf crossed his arms.

“Imperagon seeks peace, and is prepared to offer you adamantine and baatorian steel to buy your favor.”

Wulf spit. “We’re not leavin’ without the head of Imperagon.”

Wulf paused. “Err... How much adamantine are we talkin’ here?”

But it was too late. His allies had already begun the attack. Karak and the dragon rushed past in a fury, and it was all Wulf could do to keep up with the dragon.

“Gotta protect him till we hit Imperagon!” Wulf said. “He’s my mobile fightin’ platform.”

Shorty, Keldas, and Diessa stood in the back and applauded politely at Karak’s efforts—their spells were of no use against their foes. Keldas stepped forward for a moment as if to join the fight.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Shorty asked. “Stay clear.”

Keldas waved him off. “It’s all right. I’m going to cast _rapid strikes_ on the false paladin.”

With that aid and some timely healing from Diessa, they were once more inside the fortress. They paused just long enough for Shorty to dispel the _forbiddance_ that permeated the area. “That might help a little...”

Once again they charged up the stairs, threw open the door, and began their third and final assault on Imperagon. They had all learned a thing or two in their last encounter. The dragon flew inside, shielded with anti-magic, and hovered in mid-air for the entire battle, simply doing his part to keep three summoned gelugons suppressed. 

Shorty made quick work of their enemies with _wall of force_, seperating them out as best he could, and to counter the forcefields thrown up by their enemies, he used _dimension door_ to keep the party on the offense. 

The old woman had changed forms for the occasion, this time appearing as a small boy; little did she know if there was one thing the paladin couldn’t resist, it was a chance to tangle with a small boy. Karak pressed the attack on her, striking blow after blow through her displacement, until at last she was forced to withdraw. She threw a wall of force around the paladin and the fallen archon, trapping the two nemeses inside together. 

Karak held for a moment while Wulf pounded on the outside of his force bubble. “What are yer waitin’ for?”

Karak chose retreat over redemption. With the _forbiddance_ wisely taken care of in advance, he was able to use his helm to _teleport_ just outside the bubble, into the healing touch of Diessa. The archon followed quickly with _dimension door_, but Keldas was ready and sent him off with a _maze_ spell.

“That won’t hold him long,” Keldas warned. 

Indeed, the archon was back in mere moments, having simply used _plane shift_ to escape the demi-plane.

Keldas wasn’t finished by half. He cast _power word stun_ on the pit fiend—adequately weakened by Shorty’s repeated blasts—and while Wulf and Karak set about dismantling the devil, Keldas summoned a dire bear to deal with the rakshasa. Thinking back on the number of times he’d been threatened by the grapple of the steel predators, he thought it only fair to give the rakshasa a taste of her own medicine.

Huge claws grabbed the rakshasa and pulled it in. The rakshasa struggled for several rounds, using Keldas’ staff to detonate _fireball_ after _fireball_ right into the dire bear’s jaws, with no regard for itself, friend, or foe that might be nearby. But with Diessa standing behind the bear with a wand of healing-- the bear was so big, in fact, its ass protruded a good 10 feet outside the blast of the fireball-- there was no escape. The rakshasa fell, at last.

Keldas scooped up his staff. “Let me show you how this is done!”

He summoned an angelic deva. 

The deva casually killed the pit fiend with a backhand stroke and headed for the archon. “You’ve been very naughty, brother...”

The archon didn’t stick around for his punishment.

One by one, they mopped up their enemies until at last, only Imperagon was left, broken and beaten.

Wulf grabbed him roughly. “Who’s yer daddy?”

“Ashardalon,” Imperagon said. “Can’t you tell?”

“Not really,” Keldas said. “We’d heard Ashardalon was kind of tough...”

“Tell me what yer been doin’ with the souls of dwarves,” Wulf asked.

“Working to complete an artifact for myself.”

“What?”

“The Blade of Fiery Might.”

“Already got one.” Wulf said, shoving him away.

“What else can you tell us about Ashardalon?” Keldas asked.

“For the love of god,” Wulf said. “We just got _done_ with one adventure, yer settin’ up the next one. Give it a friggin’ rest already.”

Imperagon ignored him. “He has been revitalizing himself!” The dwarf grinned and would have laughed, but wisely choked it off. Keldas’ face didn’t show the slightest tolerance for a sense of humor, let alone megalomaniacal dramatics.

“Revitalizing himself?” Keldas asked. His hands tightened on his staff.

“He found a... power source. In the Abyss. Something to restore his heart.”

“Yer know who destroyed that heart?” Wulf asked. He stood behind Keldas and pointed a silent, accusatory finger at him. _HE DID!_ he mouthed.

The deva stepped forward. “Allow me to take Imperagon into custody.”

“I’m more the whackin’ persuasion, myself,” Wulf admitted. 

“He is harmless now,” the deva said. “A proper welcome—and an impenetrable cell—has been prepared for him in the heavens.”

“All right, all right. I can agree to that.” Wulf said. “Just after I strip him naked and paint his ass blue.”


----------



## (contact)

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (continued)*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *“So, Tyr is, like, the God of Valor, right?” asked Keldas, feigning ignorance
> . . .
> little did she know if there was one thing the paladin couldn’t resist, it was a chance to tangle with a small boy. *




BWAH-hahhah haaah.  Poor Karak-- he really put the lad in paladin.  Or maybe you'd say he put the paladin in . . .


----------



## Samnell

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- Part VII (continued)*

*sniffle* That was beautiful, Wulf.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- EPILOGUE*

EPILOGUE

While the rest of the group scoured the tower for magic items and more traditional loot, Wulf was whistling a jaunty tune and shovelling a king’s ransom in pure adamantine ore into his portable hole.

He paused at a smaller mound of green baatorian steel. 

“Demon-steel?” he thought. “Ferkit, I don’t care.” It joined the adamantine in the hole. Wulf rolled it up and stuffed the little velvet pouch in his belt. You wouldn’t know to look at him that he was carrying over 300,000 gold crowns’ worth of raw ore.

_Which I can double or triple by working at the Forge!_ Wulf nearly hopped with excitement. 

They returned home, but it was not long before the group split up. Wulf stayed on at the Forge, of course, and encouraged Dorn to expand his temple to Haela. He even allowed Keldas to build a wizard’s tower atop the mountain above. 

Shorty felt a calling back to Ossington and took possession of Dyson’s old tower. 

Karak went back to his temple, no doubt, to properly train his boy.

*TWO YEARS PASS*

Wulf got an unexpected visit from Karak. 

“Well...” Karak said. “If you wouldn’t mind, I was hoping you would make a holy sword for me.”

“Let me see,” Wulf said. “Last time we were together yer abandoned me, then yer don’t say a word for two years, and now yer suddenly show up and yer askin’ ME to make yer holy sword?”

“Yes.”

“Just checking,” Wulf said. “Thanks for the vote of trust.”

Karak smiled. “Great! I hear you do good work here...”

“Only the best,” Wulf said. Indeed one of his earliest moves was to enchant his hammer, tongs, even the Forge itself, to greatly enhance his smithing abilities.

In due time he sent Karak a parcel containing a magnificent blade of green-hued steel. 

**

Wulf chuckled to himself, but it didn't last long. The Old Man hounded him on a near daily basis. “You need to marry,” he said. “I will not allow you to be King unless you are willing to leave an heir...”

“Well...” Wulf began.

“A _legitimate_ heir.” The Old Man rolled his eyes.

“Wives and babies aren’t for me,” Wulf said. “I don’t need that kind o’ vulnerability.” 

*FOUR YEARS PASS*

Over the next couple of years Wulf, Dorn, and Keldas enjoyed some simple adventuring, enough to keep their skills fresh and to support the creation of a few new magic items. 

Wulf himself had been VERY busy over the past four years. He had a nice black market in baatorian steel weapons, which of course necessitated certain dealings with the local Thieves’ Guild—though Wulf was suitably removed from the transactions through several middlemen. Of course, when the upright citizens of the area discovered the illicit trade, Wulf was more than happy to volunteer to crush the local Guild.

And then take it over.

“Maybe not King,” Wulf admitted. “But I’ll take Guildmaster.”

Wulf had slowly but steadily been attracting “his kind” of people to his banner. In addition to many smiths, spies, thieves, and other experts in his employ, he spent a good deal of his time training a loyal group of dwarven tunnel-fighters. The group spurred Wulf’s creativity at the forge as well, and he developed a fine chain shirt specifically for their use: 

The simple secret to his “Dwarven Chain” was a single ring of adamantine joined by four rings of mithril. Strong, light, flexible, quiet, and comfortable. His own prototype shirt was enchanted with _silence_ and _shadow_.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to,” the Old Man told him one day. “You really ought to think about getting married. Diessa, you know...”

“Give it a rest, already. Yer got my money. Yer got a nice temple... Yer and Dorn both, plus all the rest...”

“Yes,” the Old Man said. “I can’t tell you how happy I was to see that you had commissioned... What was it? ‘An unspecified altar to a giant fist.’”

Wulf made the fist.

*TEN YEARS PASS*

Ten years of prosperity and peace—if one didn’t count the constant nagging of the Old Man. “You ready to marry yet?”

“No.”

“Okay... How about now?”

*FIFTEEN YEARS PASS*

In year fifteen, the Baron of Brindenford was assassinated.

Always one to see the silver lining, Wulf sought out the Old Man and found him in the temple with Diessa. 

“NOW I am ready to marry,” Wulf announced. “Seems the baron had some enemies.”

“Let me guess,” the Old Man said. “The Baron’s daughter is ascending to leadership.”

“Aye. Good time for an alliance, right?”

“Out of the question. The baron’s daughter already has a suitor.”

“Son of a...” Wulf growled.

“What do you have against a good dwarf woman?” the Old Man asked.

Wulf looked at Diessa. “Well... There’s always room for concubines... What? What did I say?”

*SEVENTEEN YEARS PASS*

At last, the Old Man passed away.

Wulf got a little carried away in the ensuing celebrations, and in due time Diessa came to him with her own “happy news.”

“Yer ferkin’ kiddin’ me.”

They were married quickly, and in the natural way of such things, it wasn’t long before Wulf was ready to go adventuring again. 

“I’ll go with you,” Diessa said. 

For Wulf, it was a fate worse than death. Marriage was one thing, but at least with Diessa it wasn’t so bad: you didn’t really worry at night when your wife could cast _holy word_. 

But a child? That had “plot device of the gods” written all over it. 

He was trapped. 

Screwed. 

“Great!” Wulf said. “I was thinking maybe some deep dungeon with lots of dangerous, crumbling stone stairs.”


----------



## Samnell

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- EPILOGUE*

Wulf's a family man. That's really kind of sad. I had these pictures of him as one of those legendary... erm, heroes that didn't leave behind anything but the memory of his deeds.

So I take it we're not seeing Bastion of Broken Souls?

Edit, nevermind. I think I just recognized the hook. Guess I'm slow on holy days.

Edit2: Nevermind again. Reading the thread title is nice.


----------



## pogre

and so it ends on the 25th day on the 25th page. Well done.

Good luck in your new venue. I know the gamers of Chicago and Illinois will miss you much.


----------



## Spatula

*Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- EPILOGUE*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *In due time he sent Karak a parcel containing a magnificent blade of green-hued steel.*



Ah, great stuff.  Did you guys actually play this out or what?

and what's this about a new venue?


----------



## (contact)

(Stands up and applauds)

Wulf, we hardly knew ye.  (sniff)


----------



## Piratecat

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- EPILOGUE*



			
				Spatula said:
			
		

> *
> and what's this about a new venue? *




Someone - and I'm not naming any names, mind you - might be recruiting him into his game when he moves from Chicago to Rhode Island in a couple of weeks. Or so rumor has it. You'd have to ask Wulf.

*whistles aimlessly while looking around innocently*

Speaking of which, this fight - and the resulting writeup - was freakin' brilliant. I'm in awe. I'd welcome any commentary by Dinkeldog regarding those battles!


----------



## Samnell

*Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- EPILOGUE*

Hmmm...change of venue...

As sad as the end of the Story Hours is (I've been here since the second post all those boards ago) this has piqued my interest.

If this change of venue, such as it may be, comes to pass, might one hope to see the occasional Wulf's PC's POV in a certain other thread, which shall remain nameless?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- EPILOGUE*



			
				Samnell said:
			
		

> *Wulf's a family man. That's really kind of sad. I had these pictures of him as one of those legendary... erm, heroes that didn't leave behind anything but the memory of his deeds.*




You and me both. But, gotta keep the DM happy...


Wulf


----------



## Gumby

You guys are starting Bastion of Broken Souls (I know, you finished it already), and Wulf just had a kid?  Ouch.  I can imagine your grief, and have a mental picture of your character standing on a mountaintop, fist clenched, screaming "WHY?" at the clouds, tears running down his face...

Oh wait.  You're Wulf.  You'll probably just dock your firstborn's allowance for the first hundred years of his life for being born soulless.


----------



## Samnell

*Re: Re: Re: LORD OF THE IRON FORTRESS-- EPILOGUE*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> You and me both. But, gotta keep the DM happy...




It sounds like the DM wasn't the only one Wulf was keeping happy. 

Just tell me Karak was kept clear of Wulf, Jr. - I'll stop before I offend Eric's Grandmother too much.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Gumby said:
			
		

> *You guys are starting Bastion of Broken Souls (I know, you finished it already), and Wulf just had a kid?  Ouch.  I can imagine your grief, and have a mental picture of your character standing on a mountaintop, fist clenched, screaming "WHY?" at the clouds, tears running down his face...
> 
> Oh wait.  You're Wulf.  You'll probably just dock your firstborn's allowance for the first hundred years of his life for being born soulless. *




Well, first of all, there's no child (yet).

And second of all, if the little whelp is born soulless, I'd just assume it's hereditary.


Wulf


----------



## Horacio

It seems I came back just in time. It has been a long time since my last post in Superb Wulf's SH. 

Wulf, your story our has always been one of my favorites. I loved it since the first post, I've followed the adventures of Wulf since his early low level days to become a Living Dwarven Legend. You have taught me what being a Dwarf mean (at least, since I began reading your SH, my archetype Dwarf is Wulf, not that pansy Gimli).

I wish you many many luck in all your projects and in your new venue. And I hope you'll continue writting SH 

     Horacio

Some people has asked me why I had left my beloved Story Hour forum. And I think you deserve an answer, specially authors like Wuld, who has given me lots of wonderful moments with their stories. So, for those interested, that's a brief explanation


[warning: this story maybe won't interest you, so feel free to skip it]
Well, let's say I just passed some bad moments, I had some painful decisions to take,  and I was on the edge of a depression. 

So I took a break. I was also postiong a lot in Meta forum, with a bunch of EN Worlders know as Hivemind. And in a way, they saved me from depression. Oh, it sounds like a film line, maybe, but it did. Because I met very special people, people that today I call friends, more close friends that most people I've met in real life. And Because... well, I'll never tell... but anyways, I took some resolutions, and I'm working to archieve them.

Life is still messy, and I have some strings to tie before beginning anew, but now I know I have to do it, and that I'm doing it.
[/end of story]


----------



## Immort

Har! Har! Har!

Ya gots a kid on the way.

Har! Har!

Yer gunna be a daddy!

Holy heck that just gives me the screaming giggles.

Dad.

Heh.

-Immort


----------



## Dinkeldog

It's a shame Wulf had to rush through the part where the paladin lost his abilities.  In a lot of ways it was the second pivotal character development point in the campaign.


----------



## Capellan

Eh, Wulf's no "Dad".  He's much more of a "Papa" if you ask me. 


Welcome back, Horacio!


----------



## Kesh

Wonderful! An excellent way to end the holidays.  Great writeup, Wulf! And congrats to all the people involved in the game.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *It's a shame Wulf had to rush through the part where the paladin lost his abilities.  In a lot of ways it was the second pivotal character development point in the campaign. *




Hmm... I gave 'em everything I had in my notes. Unfortunately there was enough arguing going on at the table that all I had in my notes was "big argument" and "more argument."



And I had to be careful, you know. Certain people still deny doing and saying certain things.


Wulf


----------



## Lord Pendragon

Um...Mr. Ratbane, sir?

For those of us who are still having trouble sorting the signals..._will_ there be more Wulf storyhour, or does this wrap up the campaign?

Great run, regardless.  Simply awesome.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Lord Pendragon said:
			
		

> *For those of us who are still having trouble sorting the signals...will there be more Wulf storyhour, or does this wrap up the campaign?*




Me? Vague?

Well, on the one hand we have this accursed relocation thing hanging over me (the chance to play in PC's game notwithstanding).

On the other hand we have Samnell hinting at the setup for *Bastion of Broken Souls* and then we have Gumby insisting that we've already _finished_ the bloody thing.

So, where's the confusion, again?


Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Horacio said:
			
		

> *Some people has asked me why I had left my beloved Story Hour forum. Well, let's say I just passed some bad moments... So I took a break. *





Hope you are feeling better, and better than that daily. Hopefully you've taken some small humor from Wulf's constant troubles to lighten your own burden.

Wulf


----------



## Grog

Great story, Wulf. Engaging to the very end.

Any chance we can get a final stat block for Wulf? And maybe the rest of the party as well?


----------



## Caliber

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Me? Vague?
> 
> Well, on the one hand we have this accursed relocation thing hanging over me (the chance to play in PC's game notwithstanding).
> 
> On the other hand we have Samnell hinting at the setup for Bastion of Broken Souls and then we have Gumby insisting that we've already finished the bloody thing.
> 
> So, where's the confusion, again?
> *




Don't be fooled folks. They really haven't started the campaign yet. This was all just what they wanted the campaign to look like. Sort of an outline for future reference if you understand.


----------



## Lazybones

Kudos on a fine story.  Even when the humor was groan-worthy, the exploits of these characters was always fun and engaging to read.  WCSH was one of the first I read on arriving here, and its persistent popularity was well deserved.  The dysfunctional relationship between Wulf and the peck/paladin really formed a dramatic kernal around which all of the other events rotated.  

How about a "favorite all-time WCSH quotes" listing, from the fans?


----------



## pogre

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Me? Vague?
> 
> Well, on the one hand we have this accursed relocation thing hanging over me (the chance to play in PC's game notwithstanding).
> 
> On the other hand we have Samnell hinting at the setup for Bastion of Broken Souls and then we have Gumby insisting that we've already finished the bloody thing.
> 
> So, where's the confusion, again?
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Ha! You rotten bast***! Maybe it's over maybe it's not!


----------



## Numion

Great story, all the way. Congratulations!

I especially liked the epilogue.. 

Hope you get to play the Bastion, IMHO it was a better adventure than Lord of the Iron Fortress, but YMMV, of course.


----------



## dpdx

*Standing O*

This was an outstanding Story Hour, one of the best. Congratulations, and Thank You, Wulf, for the entertainment.

(Wish me luck in Vegas this April. If I win, there's a huge freaking gamestore between the Strip and downtown, and I plan to load up on Bad Axe Games products.)


----------



## Gumby

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> On the other hand we have Samnell hinting at the setup for Bastion of Broken Souls and then we have Gumby insisting that we've already finished the bloody thing.(...)
> Wulf *



I was under the impression your group had played the entire Adventure Path series of modules during the long and bitter winter of 1978, and you were only now getting around to typing it all out.

Am I wrong?  And is it true that you and the player of Keldas ate the player of Tomaloc/Karak when you found out the cabin door was frozen shut, and help wouldn't come 'till March?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Standing O*



			
				dpdx said:
			
		

> *(Wish me luck in Vegas this April. If I win, there's a huge freaking gamestore between the Strip and downtown, and I plan to load up on Bad Axe Games products.) *




Good luck! You'll need a whopping $30 to buy everything we've put out to date. Think you can handle that, high roller? ;P


Wulf


----------



## Samnell

Gaaaaah! The Elveses book is out and I don't haves it yet? Gaaaaah!


----------



## dpdx

*Re: Re: Standing O*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Good luck! You'll need a whopping $30 to buy everything we've put out to date. Think you can handle that, high roller? ;P
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Are you kidding? That's a whole GOOD night at the nickel slots!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Samnell said:
			
		

> *Gaaaaah! The Elveses book is out and I don't haves it yet? Gaaaaah! *




Hmm... You got me there. It's not officially out yet, I suppose, though good things have been known to happen to people who have ordered the other two books recently.


Wulf


----------



## Piratecat

With 1000+ posts, it's Trim The Thread time!  Wulf, you're enabled to do so. Let me know when you're done.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *With 1000+ posts, it's Trim The Thread time!  Wulf, you're enabled to do so. Let me know when you're done.   *




Story's over... Might as well lock it down, right?

If you lock it down, can I still go in and prune it when I have time, or does the thread have to be unlocked to be edited at all?


Wulf


----------



## Nail

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *With 1000+ posts, it's Trim The Thread time!  Wulf, you're enabled to do so. Let me know when you're done.   *



..But don't trim this one!   'Cause it's packed with good commentary and witty insights!


----------



## KidCthulhu

My guess is that Big, Bad Wulf has a daughter,with big doe eyes and a soft, curley beard, who wraps him around her little mailed finger.  Gruff ol' curmudgeons should always have daughters.

Thanks for all the laughs, Wulf.  It's been great, and I can't wait to get you on our team.  Perfumed foppery for everyone!


----------



## Grog

Does this mean no final stat block for Wulf?


----------



## Jeremy

When and if you are able to join up with the defenders and/or the company, you need to set a good example.

I'm thinking a full blooded broken-tusked orc for one game and maybe a gnoll with patches of hair falling out to mange in the other.

What do you think?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Grog said:
			
		

> *Does this mean no final stat block for Wulf?  *




What you mean like THIS? 

Any questions?

EDIT: Whup, noticed a small mistake. My stats are calculated including Gloves of Dexterity, but it looks like I left it off my item list. Probly still on Diessa's sheet. Never can keep the cohort straight...


Wulf


----------



## Grog

Cool, a full character sheet! Thanks, Wulf.

One question, though. You have your character level listed as 18, but unless I'm missing something, the class levels only add up to 17. Which is right?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Grog said:
			
		

> *One question, though. You have your character level listed as 18, but unless I'm missing something, the class levels only add up to 17. Which is right? *




8 + 1+ 5 + 4 = 18.

So unless it's the "1" in Ranger, I'd say what you missed is second grade. 

Wulf


----------



## Grog

Ah, I did miss the 1 in Ranger. What'd you take that for, anyway?


----------



## Gumby

Grog said:
			
		

> *Ah, I did miss the 1 in Ranger. What'd you take that for, anyway? *



The Favored Enemy:  Halfling Rogue class ability.


----------



## Capellan

Grog said:
			
		

> *Ah, I did miss the 1 in Ranger. What'd you take that for, anyway? *




To get Favoured Enemy, so he could qualify for the Slayer PrC.  Or at least, that'd be my guess.


----------



## zoroaster100

*Thanks for a great story hour*

Wulf, I've been reading your story from the first post to the last.  Just wanted to thank you for sharing your writing with us.  It was a really great story.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Grog said:
			
		

> *Ah, I did miss the 1 in Ranger. What'd you take that for, anyway? *




Favored Enemy and a bonus feat. (Monte's ranger).

(So I could be a Dragon Slayer.)


Wulf


----------



## shilsen

It's a pity to see such a great story hour end, but at least it ended with a bang. Thanks for all the entertainment, Wulf. So when do we see Wulf and Nolin in action together?


----------



## Piratecat

shilsen said:
			
		

> *So when do we see Wulf and Nolin in action together? *




Wulf and Nolin, in hot one-on-one action!

Only in this case, the killing machine One might just be chasing the perfumed foppery One around the room in a bladed death spiral.


----------



## (contact)

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Wulf and Nolin, in hot one-on-one action!
> 
> Only in this case, the killing machine One might just be chasing the perfumed foppery One around the room in a bladed death spiral.   *




If Wulf finds out you called him a perfumed fop you might be in for some trouble.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

(contact) said:
			
		

> *If Wulf finds out you called him a perfumed fop you might be in for some trouble. *




I don't use FOP-- I'm a Dapper Dan man, goddammit!


----------



## LightPhoenix

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *
> Only in this case, the killing machine One might just be chasing the perfumed foppery One around the room in a bladed death spiral.   *




*Nolin:*  "I'm in a tight spot!"


----------



## seasong

Just wanted to add my own *Huzzah!* to the thread. Wulf has been a source of seemingly limitless inspiration to me on the subject of gruff dwarven rogue killing machines, the gods, and *The Fist(TM)*.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Well, Wulf, I've been hanging on just in case the "final update" wasn't actually, you know, the _final_ one. 

I've enjoyed this storyhour for many reasons: 


 the fact that it's tackling the adventure path modules has been great since the story has highlighted problems, loopholes or things to take advantage of when I run them myself (although I lag behind - currently between "Standing Stone" and "Nightfang Spire").
 the wonderful and fierce off topic debates which have been spawned here on varied topics including the role of rogue skills, defences against blindsight, resurrection of celestials and others too heated and funny to name 
 the tremendous dialog and intra-party banter. Or should that be baiting 
 last and by no means least: Wulf. The most credible anti-hero that I've ever read. A splendid creation!

Whattaya gonna write next?

Cheers


----------



## Thorntangle

Wulf - Thanks for the kickashtic story hour. Although I'm sorry to see it end, I'm glad to see that Wulf made it all the way through.

Thanks for all the great, memorable dialogue.

Thanks for all the conflict with the Peck and Assmar.

Thanks for all of Wulf's attempts at diplomacy and tact.

Thanks for all the *Big Piles of Dead Bad Guys*TM


----------



## Dinkeldog

Finished?  We're finished?


----------



## WizarDru

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *Finished?  We're finished? *




Well, if you're not, then the bunch of you should stop being so coy and say so.  The question's been asked at least twice, and the answer both times was not terribly definitive, but sounded like it was the end of the Story Hour, your game notwithstanding.


----------



## drnuncheon

WizarDru said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Well, if you're not, then the bunch of you should stop being so coy and say so.  The question's been asked at least twice, and the answer both times was not terribly definitive, but sounded like it was the end of the Story Hour, your game notwithstanding. *




The whole "FINAL UPDATE" in the title does make it seem...well...final.

Unless this is just some clever marketing ploy, like the Kiss "Last Tour Ever No Really By God We _Mean_ It This Time" Tour.

Hey Wulf! I got a clever marketing ploy for ya!  Get HOHF:Elves out on the shelves so I can buy it! (Yeah, its probably the distributors, I know.)

J


----------



## Eridanis

Hey, you guys are losing a story hour. Some of us are losing a DM, and so we'll never know if our characters make it out of the Necropolis alive.  

Never mind the fact that Piratecat's adding a great guy and great gamer to the Defender's team.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Clever Marketing Ploy*

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those damn kids and their dinkeldog.

Wulf


----------



## blargney

*Re: Clever Marketing Ploy*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those damn kids and their dinkeldog.*




Man, what time zone are you in??  You're about 4 months too early for April Fool's!

-blarg


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

*Re: Clever Marketing Ploy*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those damn kids and their dinkeldog.
> 
> Wulf *




After that little sham, the least you could do is provide us with the first BoBS update.


----------



## Dawn

More?  More?
Lunch would never be the same without Wulf.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: Clever Marketing Ploy*



			
				Olgar Shiverstone said:
			
		

> *
> 
> After that little sham, the least you could do is provide us with the first BoBS update.   *




What do you think the Epilogue was?


----------



## Horacio

I will miss Wulf


----------



## Immort

Did I mention yer a dad?  Har har!

Heh.

I crack myself up.

-Immort


----------



## pogre

What is BoBS?

There are rumors of a great meeting in the north this weekend before the trek east. Only rumors, but I thought I would ask.


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

*Re: Re: Re: Clever Marketing Ploy*



			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> What do you think the Epilogue was? *




No, no ... the first adventuring update.

The Epilogue (Prologue) doesn't count  -- Wulf didn't smash any heads in it.  It doesn't count as an update unless the Wulfinator smashes at least one head.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Re: Re: Re: Clever Marketing Ploy*



			
				Olgar Shiverstone said:
			
		

> *It doesn't count as an update unless the Wulfinator smashes at least one head. *




So playing "mortar and pestle" with my hot dwarven bride don't count then?


Wulf


----------



## Lord Pendragon

On a side note, Wulf,

Have you thought of who/what you're going to play in Piratecat's game?  Wulf is about the right level, but somehow he doesn't seem to fit in the more....cerebral....game in Boston.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Lord Pendragon said:
			
		

> *Have you thought of who/what you're going to play in Piratecat's game?  Wulf is about the right level, but somehow he doesn't seem to fit in the more....cerebral....game in Boston.  *




Obviously Wulf is not an option that either me or Kevin has ever entertained. But since so much of Wulf is me, and vice versa, I am going to have to be careful to fit in no matter how you slice it.

After 20 years of gaming there really isn't anything "new and exciting" for me to try, except maybe... well... an ELF. I am not looking forward to switching gears, roleplaying-wise. I have a couple of years of personality invested in Wulf and it has become a comfortable, second-nature fit, so anything new is going to take some getting used to and constantly reminding myself who and where I am. 

I have floated a couple of ideas past Kevin but ultimately I hope he'll just tell me what works for him. He _has_ told me that the name "Goat Boy" isn't going to fly. 

Wulf


----------



## Samnell

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> I have floated a couple of ideas past Kevin but ultimately I hope he'll just tell me what works for him. He _has_ told me that the name "Goat Boy" isn't going to fly.




What about the halfling courtesan?


----------



## Gumby

I must admit I'm also looking forward to Tigglebitty Funbags' Story Hour.  I assume it'll be $4.99/minute, Visa/Mastercard accepted?


----------



## jonrog1

A large flowchart with several hundred squares, each bearing a faction, family, or religion connected by multiple arrows, each arrow indicating a subtley different relationship, adorns a large wall.  

Two figures stand before it.  They've been there for seven hours while the tall one explains the chart.  The shorter of the two is still holding a bloodstained axe.   In the distance, a large section of a rich city neighborhood burns.

Nolin: "It's not that we don't _appreciate_ your enthusiasm, but you as you can see, err ..."

Wulf: "Wulf."

Nolin: "Yes.  You see, that's the complex web of intrigue and influence we must weave while forging forward on our herioc path.  We must always finely balance along the narrow path in the shifting sands of betrayal, trust, and knowledge.  "

Wulf: "Right."

Nolin: "So you've got it?"

Wulf:  "Got it." 

A long beat.

Wulf: (unfolding parchment) "So, could you just write down who needs boot applied to ass in what order, exactly.  Just the first fifty or so.  That'll keep me busy for a week."

Nolin: *sigh*


----------



## Horacio

ROFLOL, that was GOOD


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Good, and accurate too.

And while I appreciate knowing where to apply the next ass-kicking, it bears repeating: There's no problem you can't solve with a big enough pile of dead bad guys; and its corrollary by extension, "...a big enough pile of dead people." 

The bad guys are bound to be in there somewhere...


Wulf


----------



## (contact)

*"There's no problem you can't solve with a big enough pile of dead bad guys"*

A sentiment echoed by many of our real world's most illustrious leaders.

Wulf, the layman's Machiavelli.


----------



## KidCthulhu

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I have floated a couple of ideas past Kevin but ultimately I hope he'll just tell me what works for him. He has told me that the name "Goat Boy" isn't going to fly. *




See, now I find that a little annoying, because I put in a very strong yes vote for "Goat Boy".  It's simple, clear and easy to rhyme.  After ten years as a bard, I appreciate these qualities in a character.  

Goat Boy.  Boy Toy.  Perfumed Joy.  Fauntleroy.  It's all good.


----------



## Horacio

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> *
> 
> See, now I find that a little annoying, because I put in a very strong yes vote for "Goat Boy".  It's simple, clear and easy to rhyme.  After ten years as a bard, I appreciate these qualities in a character.
> 
> Goat Boy.  Boy Toy.  Perfumed Joy.  Fauntleroy.  It's all good. *




My vote was for Goat Boy too...


----------



## Kesh

I'm tellin ya, Wulf... use my Halfling Necromancer concept. Collect the skulls of your fallen enemies!


----------



## pogre

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> I have floated a couple of ideas past Kevin but ultimately I hope he'll just tell me what works for him. He has told me that the name "Goat Boy" isn't going to fly.
> *




Hey you already played at least one Goat Boy...Shubba!
Try adding some Roman numerals for a touch of class - Sir Goat Boy IV. Surely PC would let that in .


----------



## coyote6

pogre said:
			
		

> *What is BoBS?*




It's either an oddly capitalized reference to an evil organization of guys named Bob, or an acronym for "Bastion of Broken Souls" (the last adventure in WotC's Adventure Path series, which Wulf & co. have been playing through, lo these many years, levels, and applications of boot leather).


----------



## Warrior Poet

Wulf,

Thanks for the time, the work, the laughs, the skull-splitting-gore-splattered-bone-shattering-flesh-rending-Big-Pile-O'-Dead-Bad-Guys (tm) mayhem.

And the laughs.  And your hard work.

Looking forward to more stories from your new location,

Warrior Poet

<edit:  hyphen, thank you>


----------



## Metus

Wow.  Is it really finished, Wulf?  If it is, and we won't be getting any BoBS goodness, then I gotta say thanks for the ride.  Damn fine story hour, damn fine.  Been here since the beginning and have loved it all.  Here's hoping that the next story hour isn't too far off.  

Thanks again.


----------



## Plane Sailing

C'mon Wulf, we want Bastion of Broken Souls already! We haven't seen storyhour since LAST YEAR!

Get writing!


----------



## Eridanis

*Want more big piles of dead bad guys?*

For those of you going through Wulf withdrawal, I've started updating Wulf's Lazy Days Campaign thread, located here:

http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=585856

I just put up the session that Piratecat sat in on. You can imagine how much fun we had. 

I plan to update it twice a week until we reach the end - which, given our backlog, will see us safely into March.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

KidCthulhu said:
			
		

> *Goat Boy.  Boy Toy.  Perfumed Joy.  Fauntleroy.  It's all good. *




Wyrd.

Feared.

At last, no beard...


----------



## Ancalagon

Er, since I guess it is over, (and I'm still not sure on that), Wulf, Dinkledog, what is your oppinion of the overall "adventure path"?  any stinkers, any that realy stood out?

Ancalagon


----------



## Plane Sailing

I can bet that they would mark "standing stone" down as a real stinker...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *I can bet that they would mark "standing stone" down as a real stinker... *




Not me! The end of that module was pretty exciting if you ask me. 

Fun is where you find it. 


Wulf


----------



## Plane Sailing

I'm just recalling some of Dinkledogs comments when I asked him for his perceptions of the module just before I ran it... Didn't seem to be a happy puppy!

(I ran a pretty modified version of it and it was great fun, but it did contain plenty of logical inconsistencies that needed ironing out)

Cheers


----------



## Capellan

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> *I'm just recalling some of Dinkledogs comments when I asked him for his perceptions of the module just before I ran it... Didn't seem to be a happy puppy!
> *




I think his review here at ENworld makes his opinions on that module _very_ clear 

Having skimmed through it, I tend to agree with a lot of his remarks.  Yet another Adventure Path module I'll have to modify before running


----------



## Dr. Zoom

I modified it a little for my Greyhawk campaign, but Standing Stone has been the one my players enjoyed the most so far.


----------



## Dinkeldog

I hated Standing Stone.  I really liked Bastion and the Forge.  The rest are solid adventures I would recommend to anyone.  I think I like Speaker in Dreams more than about anyone, also.  I made just the one little change to fit my mindset on the adventure which should be up in the reviews section, also.  

One thing I've noticed is that players with abilities outside of Core will pretty much stomp the adventures that are written just Core.  It takes a good bit of work to even things out.  Also 5 PCs is 25% tougher than 4 PCs, so you have to modify things based on the number of players.


----------



## coyote6

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *One thing I've noticed is that players with abilities outside of Core will pretty much stomp the adventures that are written just Core.  It takes a good bit of work to even things out.  Also 5 PCs is 25% tougher than 4 PCs, so you have to modify things based on the number of players. *




Yeah. I've been upping the stats & hp of many (most, probably) of the creatures the PCs face, to make things a bit more challenging for my overpowered band of PCs.

The numbers thing is a bigger deal for me -- the group now has 5 PCs, 2 ex-PCs that I've been reluctant to write out via deus ex machina, 1 cohort, and a few NPCs that the players have befriended. It's a freaking mob.


----------



## bertman4

> In due time he sent Karak a parcel containing a magnificent blade of green-hued steel.




By the Holy Sword of Tyr! That is rich! I almost spewed out tea onto my monitor!

Bertman


----------



## Nail

bertman4 said:
			
		

> *
> 
> By the Holy Sword of Tyr! That is rich! I almost spewed out tea onto my monitor!
> 
> Bertman *



I often wonder _if he even noticed_.

And you know which "he" I'm refering to.


----------



## JDragon

I doubt "HE" did.

JDragon


----------



## Immort

*The thread that won't die*

Wulf has stopped writing yet somehow this scribble page o' his seems ta stay up on top of the heap.  I guess folks just have a hard time lettin' go.

-Immort

(you'll note that I am still both reading and posting myself)


----------



## Horacio

*Re: The thread that won't die*



			
				Immort said:
			
		

> *Wulf has stopped writing yet somehow this scribble page o' his seems ta stay up on top of the heap.  I guess folks just have a hard time lettin' go.
> 
> -Immort
> 
> (you'll note that I am still both reading and posting myself) *




We can't let this WONDERFUL story to drop in forget, so we bump it to let new generations to know the most famous Dwarven Hero.


----------



## Jeremy

So when is the illustrated compiled pdf version of the story hour with the informative side bars and occasional maps due up on the story hour archive downloads?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *So when is the illustrated compiled pdf version of the story hour with the informative side bars and occasional maps due up on the story hour archive downloads? *




As soon as someone volunteers to edit the whole thing, copying the text from here, and then adding back in all the text formatting codes (italics, bold, etc.)

I can't seem to cut and paste from here without losing all the italics, and it is a long chore to find and italicize everything all over again.

It is a lot of work that I just don't have time to do right now. Don't get me wrong, I have been working on it, and I would love to continue working on it-- I just don't have the time.

As for illustrations, again, volunteers are welcome. Whether it is the simple but amazingly evocative stick-figures of Ancalagon, or someone willing to do a graphic novelization, I'm waiting here with open arms. 

EDIT: Open arms and open checkbook, too, perhaps. 

Wulf


----------



## Horacio

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *So when is the illustrated compiled pdf version of the story hour with the informative side bars and occasional maps due up on the story hour archive downloads? *




That's really a GREAT idea!!!


Please, Wulf, do it!

Or better yet, release it as a free BadAxe product...


----------



## Nail

Horacio said:
			
		

> *Or better yet, release it as a free BadAxe product... *



Free?  Yer from France, aren't ye?    Just kidding.  We all love you *Horacio*,...err, the elves in their way, the dwarves in another.!

But seriously, Wulf, you'd be surprised what you could sell, even if the original was free on th' internet.  Actually, I seem to recall us gabbing on and on about that awhile back.....


----------



## Jeremy

That's funny, I just highlighted some text and pasted it into word, and it kept all the formatting, including the yellowish text that this message board uses (quick fix, ctrl + a, black text).  Dunno why it doesn't carry over the formatting for you Wulf...


----------



## Horacio

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> As soon as someone volunteers to edit the whole thing, copying the text from here, and then adding back in all the text formatting codes (italics, bold, etc.)
> 
> I can't seem to cut and paste from here without losing all the italics, and it is a long chore to find and italicize everything all over again.
> 
> It is a lot of work that I just don't have time to do right now. Don't get me wrong, I have been working on it, and I would love to continue working on it-- I just don't have the time.
> 
> As for illustrations, again, volunteers are welcome. Whether it is the simple but amazingly evocative stick-figures of Ancalagon, or someone willing to do a graphic novelization, I'm waiting here with open arms.
> 
> EDIT: Open arms and open checkbook, too, perhaps.
> 
> Wulf *




WULF!

I volunteer for that!

I DO!

Please!
Please!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *That's funny, I just highlighted some text and pasted it into word, and it kept all the formatting... *




Sounds like a volunteer to me... 

If you grab everything from Nightfang Spire on, and email me the word .doc, I will be happy to revisit my existing (but stalled) work.


Wulf


----------



## Horacio

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Sounds like a volunteer to me...
> 
> If you grab everything from Nightfang Spire on, and email me the word .doc, I will be happy to revisit my existing (but stalled) work.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




Not fair! 

I want to do it!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Horacio said:
			
		

> *I want to do it! *




Less yappin! Get crackin'!


----------



## Horacio

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Less yappin! Get crackin'! *




Right now I'm going home (5 pm here). I will begin right this evening, from the very beginning of the story. As soon as I finish a 'chapter', I'll send it to you for correction


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Horacio said:
			
		

> * I will begin right this evening, from the very beginning of the story. As soon as I finish a 'chapter', I'll send it to you for correction  *




You really can skip everything up to Standing Stone. I have already covered those sections and they have been heavily edited.


----------



## Horacio

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> You really can skip everything up to Standing Stone. I have already covered those sections and they have been heavily edited. *




OK, I'll begin there


----------



## Lela

If there's a word .doc made up for this, could someone E-Mail it to me?

Edit: Just read above posts.  Sorry, I'll go with my .PDF of the first page for now.


----------



## Dawn

Yes!  This will now appear in a condensed, revised, formatted, illustrated, edited format.

Many thanks to Horacio and Wulf!

Uh, any timelines?  Valentines Day is coming up and I know there a few “special” people out there who love to have a copy with a red ribbon around it.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

We still need artists to "volunteer," but if I know artists (and I do) they'll need some incentive...

Anybody who wants to take responsibility for heading over to the art forums and scaring up artists, is welcome to offer free Bad Axe product. I'll give prizes to the best illustrations of folks' favorite scenes, module by module (Forge, Standing Stone, etc...)

A little ENworld/Bad Axe/Wulf's Story Hour mini- art contest.


Wulf


----------



## Jeremy

Can you give us some quick and dirty physical descriptions of what people look like and the major things they are wearing?

Relative height, predominant armor, weapon of choice would work.  Or just character pictures like the one you've got of Wulf for us to work off of.

I've got a picture in my head of a battered, bruised, and bound peck lying on the floor in the background with Wulf shrugging in the foreground, battle axe in hand, explaining his point of view.


----------



## Jeremy

Oooooo!  And an anime-esque light explosion with a certain undead creature getting incinerated on a molecular level by the spell empowered holy might of a certain infernal-steel-wielding assmar.


----------



## Vargo

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *Oooooo!  And an anime-esque light explosion with a certain undead creature getting incinerated on a molecular level by the spell empowered holy might of a certain infernal-steel-wielding assmar. *




You might want to go back and read that again.  I'm not sure if I read that right, but it sounds like Wulf sent the *EX*-Assmar a steel sword, tinted green.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Jeremy said:
			
		

> *Can you give us some quick and dirty physical descriptions of what people look like and the major things they are wearing?*




Well, 

a) such general info is available in the Rogues Gallery thread (see the first post of this thread for a link) and

b) I think part of the judging criteria will be seeing which prospective artist interprets the characters/scenes in a way that impresses the judge(s) most.

Right?

But for the record, Wulf has black/grey hair and grey eyes. Keldas' eyes are supposedly purple, or some other pansy color like that. So I understand.

Wulf


----------



## the_bruiser

*Wulf's Story Hour*

I have a Word doc with every word from day one.  I've been cutting and pasting for my players since it started way back when.  I've even got a handy table of contents on the front.  If anybody wants a copy, let me know - that okay, Wulf?  Unfortunately, my copy does *not* have italics & bold & such *sob*.  I'll even attach it here (as a preliminary version only!) if Wulf approves.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I don't mind!


----------



## Horacio

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *I don't mind! *




So then do I stop? Or do I continue with the copy with format?
What I can do is taking that .doc and editing it, adding italics and bolds, if you prefer...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Horacio said:
			
		

> *
> 
> So then do I stop? Or do I continue with the copy with format?
> What I can do is taking that .doc and editing it, adding italics and bolds, if you prefer... *




No, don't stop, for a couple of reasons.

First, if you are currently going in to cut and paste from the early sections, that's a good thing, because I have been known to go in and edit older sections. Older copies would still have errors.

Second, if you can cut and paste and get the formatting ok, in the long run that is much faster than using a pre-existing text dump and going back into it for formatting.

Bruiser's copy is appreciated as a stopgap measure for folks who can't wait but I wouldn't use it to format text. 

I still need your help, Horatio. 


Wulf


----------



## pogre

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> 
> 
> I still need your help, Horatio.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




If your begging for help at least spell the man's name right Wulf.


----------



## Horacio

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> No, don't stop, for a couple of reasons.
> 
> First, if you are currently going in to cut and paste from the early sections, that's a good thing, because I have been known to go in and edit older sections. Older copies would still have errors.
> 
> Second, if you can cut and paste and get the formatting ok, in the long run that is much faster than using a pre-existing text dump and going back into it for formatting.
> 
> Bruiser's copy is appreciated as a stopgap measure for folks who can't wait but I wouldn't use it to format text.
> 
> I still need your help, Horatio.
> 
> 
> Wulf *




I continue my work then


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

pogre said:
			
		

> *If your begging for help at least spell the man's name right Wulf. *




I was being Shakespearean...


----------



## Eridanis

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I was being Shakespearean... *




There are more spellings of "Horacio" than are dreamt of in our philosophy.


----------



## the_bruiser

*Wulf's Story Compilation*

Here it is, everyone, enjoy!  Wulf, one potential problem - any edits you did more than a day or two after original posting may not be captured in here.  Otherwise, accolades welcome..... 

If you guys have any trouble with the table of contents on page one, right click on the table and click update.  Wulf, I hope you don't mind the slight liberties I took with formatting headers, etc.  

Shoot, the file is too big.  You guys see if you can get this link to work - I tried it with somebody here at work and they were able to get to it.  Sorry for the pain.  It's about 800k and apparently the site limits you to 250k uploads.  Let me know if this doesn't work and I can e-mail it. 


http://y42.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/a...ournal.doc&.done=http://my.yahoo.com/p/d.html


----------



## Dawn

Thanks the_bruiser!

Well done!


----------



## Horacio

Well, I began the compilation of the edited version, with format an all that. I decided to begin from the very beginning, to make it complete.

It's a big task, wow!

I've already done the first module, and half of the second...


----------



## Halma

*Bump.....*

I can't let this go to the next board so bump....


Halma.....The Dead Barbarian.....in the dead story.......


----------



## Horacio

*Re: Bump.....*



			
				Halma said:
			
		

> *I can't let this go to the next board so bump....
> 
> 
> Halma.....The Dead Barbarian.....in the dead story....... *




The story is NOT dead, and Horacio is working to put it in a pretty format for yoiu, guys...


----------



## Lela

Ferkin dangit!

I been reading this thing for a week and now that I've finished I won't even be able to keep the story going.

Aw well, I hope yer other threads are as good as this one Wulf.  Cause if their not, I'll send a stirge after yer.


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

BoBS!  BoBS!

How long are we to be teased?


----------



## RatPunk

I know Wulf's story is over, but I still can't bear to see it on page two. It doesn't deserve that yet.


----------



## Hatchling Dragon

So, is this thing enshrined in it's proper place in the Archived Story Hours?  If not, *why* hasn't it been put out to pasture yet, as any good horse should be after it's given us such a good run!

Hatchling Dragon


----------



## bertman4

Could we please get a progress report on the compilation? And did anyone volunteer to do some illustrations for this great story hour?
Bertman


----------



## Horacio

bertman4 said:
			
		

> *Could we please get a progress report on the compilation? And did anyone volunteer to do some illustrations for this great story hour?
> Bertman *




I'm doing the compilation. Sadly the last two weeks I'm having very few free time since my I have to finish lots of things for my thesis, and until next weel I don't thing I can continue, but it's more than half done.


----------



## Halma

*ahh...You finishing this sometime Wulf?*

Bump.... Just wondering if you are going to complete the story sometime soon....


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: ahh...You finishing this sometime Wulf?*



			
				Halma said:
			
		

> *Bump.... Just wondering if you are going to complete the story sometime soon....   *




Actually, probably not. The more I let it sit, the more content I am with where it ended up.

Wulf


----------



## KidCthulhu

bump.  For chat room.


----------



## the Jester

Wulf- gawd damn, man, I just read up to Lord of the Iron Fortress pt. II and your story hour rawked!  

You should write a new one!    

Anyhow, very, very impressed.


----------



## tariff

*Forge & Speaker*

Hey, im just starting to read your Story Hours, specifically the Forge and Fury and The Speaker in Dreams, both modules my group has participated in. My adventure notes for these modules can be found below, although there not of your calibur of story writting i think there stil interesting if you have played those modules.  Keep up the good work, im enjoying reading your exploits

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/tariff/AdventHeadr.htm


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Thanks, guys. It's good to see the ol' girl has some life in her yet.

There won't be any new additions to this story hour, unfortunately. She's all wrapped up.

Yes, we played through Bastion of Broken Souls, but I found it to be quite a letdown. I won't make the same mistake twice of continuing to write when I'm happy where the story left off.

Enjoy!

Wulf


----------



## Hammerhead

Any chance on seeing your LXG Story Hour finished? Please?


----------



## the Jester

Just finished reading all the commentary, and finishing the thread, and thought I'd give it another bump.

Cause, _damn_ it's good.


----------



## Joshua Randall

Bump. Is there a compiled Word document of this somewhere? 'Cause I loathe reading things on the screen.


----------



## jonrog1

And bumped again for coolness


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Joshua Randall said:
			
		

> Bump. Is there a compiled Word document of this somewhere? 'Cause I loathe reading things on the screen.




There are a couple of them floating around, but I don't have one myself.

I think Horatio was working on one at one time...

Wulf


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

bump.


----------



## Graywolf-ELM

I have been pointing some friends to this one to read.  If a .pdf is found or some other compiled document, could someone post it here please?

GW


----------



## Cheiromancer

The story itself is 278 pages long and about 1 Meg in size.  That's too big to post as an attachment (limit is around 240 KB I think).

You can make a quick compiliation yourself by using thread tools -> download thread -> save thread and then block deleting whatever you don't want.  You do lose formatting like bold text and italics, though.


----------



## Graywolf-ELM

Cheiromancer said:
			
		

> The story itself is 278 pages long and about 1 Meg in size.  That's too big to post as an attachment (limit is around 240 KB I think).
> 
> You can make a quick compiliation yourself by using thread tools -> download thread -> save thread and then block deleting whatever you don't want.  You do lose formatting like bold text and italics, though.




My apologies, I did not mean for someone to upload it.  I meant to post a link to it.

I'm checking with our Webmaster to see if he minds hosting it as a download.

GW


----------



## Lord Pendragon

Just another bump to bring the late, great Wulf's Story Hour to the first page for a bit, so anyone who hasn't read it can get a chance.  It's one of the best story hours that's ever graced this section.

I am curious about one thing, If Wulf happens to look in on this thread again.  It's clear that Wulf crafted Karak's holy sword out of Baatorian green steel.  When did Karak realize it?  How did it go down?

The one downside to Wulf joining PC's game is that he's not writing a story hour anymore


----------



## Plane Sailing

I'm going to have to read this through again. You know, for old times sake


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Lord Pendragon said:
			
		

> Just another bump to bring the late, great Wulf's Story Hour to the first page for a bit, so anyone who hasn't read it can get a chance.  It's one of the best story hours that's ever graced this section.




Thanks. I think so, too. 



> I am curious about one thing, If Wulf happens to look in on this thread again.




My ego-radar is still laser-tuned to this story hour. I'm pretty much guaranteed to notice a bump...



> It's clear that Wulf crafted Karak's holy sword out of Baatorian green steel.  When did Karak realize it?  How did it go down?




I honestly don't recall. A betting man would get decent odds on Karak, being Karak, not caring all that much. What-- let roleplaying get in the way of wielding a holy sword?



> The one downside to Wulf joining PC's game is that he's not writing a story hour anymore




I do my best to add a little bit of that ol' Wulfy goodness to PCs game, just in case it ends up in his story hour. The new character doesn't have Wulf's mean streak or machiavellian tendencies, but he does share the same cynical sense of humor. 

Cause, you know, that's just _me_. I could play a female character more readily and convincingly than I could play any character without my own sense of humor...

Wulf


----------



## Graywolf-ELM

Cheiromancer said:
			
		

> The story itself is 278 pages long and about 1 Meg in size.  That's too big to post as an attachment (limit is around 240 KB I think).
> 
> You can make a quick compiliation yourself by using thread tools -> download thread -> save thread and then block deleting whatever you don't want.  You do lose formatting like bold text and italics, though.




We've got room to post it for download, if you guys agree.

GW


----------



## Lord Pendragon

Plane Sailing said:
			
		

> I'm going to have to read this through again. You know, for old times sake



You know, I looked this thread up again to quote from it (the bit where Wulf brains the medusa with a sack of pennies) for a discussion in Rules.  Then wound up re-reading large portions of it and completely neglecting to get the quote I came for.  


			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> I honestly don't recall. A betting man would get decent odds on Karak, being Karak, not caring all that much. What-- let roleplaying get in the way of wielding a holy sword?



True.  There is so much symbolism in that sword, too, should he actually have kept and enchanted it as a holy blade.  Blazing with holy power, but with a core of Baatorian steel.  It describes Karak as well as his weapon.  A wonderfully insightful gift on Wulf's part.







			
				Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> I do my best to add a little bit of that ol' Wulfy goodness to PCs game, just in case it ends up in his story hour. The new character doesn't have Wulf's mean streak or machiavellian tendencies, but he does share the same cynical sense of humor.
> 
> Cause, you know, that's just me. I could play a female character more readily and convincingly than I could play any character without my own sense of humor...



heh.

It's not so much the character I miss, as it is your unique storytelling style, that brought that character so vividly to life.  I love PC's story hour because I wish I were playing in the game.  I love Sepulchrave's story hour because it engages me intellectually.  And I love Sagiro's game because I can imagine the novelisation.

But only your story hour made me feel like I really _know_ the main character.  You had characterization down to a science, and I know Wulf better than any other story hour character.

Stone Bear may have your humor at the table and be just as well-characterized, but the fact that we never get into his head and see what makes him tick, that he's _not_ the lens through which we see all the action, means I'll never know him as well as Wulf, nor does your sense of humor shine through as well.

Ah, well.  It was great while it lasted, Wulf.  Truly great.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Lord Pendragon said:
			
		

> You know, I looked this thread up again to quote from it (the bit where Wulf brains the medusa with a sack of pennies)




To be fair, I thought it was just a young girl at the time.



> A wonderfully insightful gift on Wulf's part.




You guys really take the fun out of being a bad guy.



> Ah, well.  It was great while it lasted, Wulf.  Truly great.




Well, thanks. It's much appreciated.


----------



## Funeris

So, ummmm....what's up with the full compiled version with art and everything?  Did it die?  What happened to the art contest?  There was a large gap of about a year in the posts....<sigh>

guess I'll just have to reread the thread for the 3rd or 4th time to get my fill....
<sigh>


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Funeris said:
			
		

> So, ummmm....what's up with the full compiled version with art and everything?  Did it die?  What happened to the art contest?




You know, this recent bump has me all riled up again.

I'd put the "Story Hour Project" on hold because, I still believe, I'd like to go with Piratecat's first to prove the system.

But now, heck. Christmas present to myself. I'll spend the holiday editing the whole things-- which could mean some major changes, like removing Wizards IP-- and just print-on-demand the thing.

Looking like, probably, $14.95 or so for a paperback, unless I use really teeny-tiny type. 

I'll also probably only do up through the end of Speaker (for obvious reasons).

No artwork other than what folks want to volunteer. I'd love to have several "plates" of art from folks' favorite scenes, so feel free to spread the word to your artsy-fartsy buddies.

Wulf


----------



## Elocin

I woudl not mind having a copy of this and the price aint all that bad.  I would LOVE for their to be some color pictures and what not.

I do have to ask, why no further than "Speaker", and with this in mind what adventures would be contained within the book?


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Elocin said:
			
		

> I woudl not mind having a copy of this and the price aint all that bad.  I would LOVE for their to be some color pictures and what not.




I don't know of any POD services that offer color interior. Sorry. B/W pictures inside will work just fine.



> I do have to ask, why no further than "Speaker"




I was just never really happy with anything that came after. I misspoke, though-- I meant through Standing Stone. 



> And with this in mind what adventures would be contained within the book?




Forge of Fury, Speaker in Dreams, Standing Stone.

Or as I like to think of it, "The Peck Cycle."


----------



## Elocin

I am happy with B/W photos as well, and What abot Nightfang Spire?  No offense hear as I am sure you are happy to please your fans, but I LOVED those pit traps with the razor blades you kept falling through.

Brought a laugh to my face everytime.


----------



## Morrow

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> I was just never really happy with anything that came after. I misspoke, though-- I meant through Standing Stone.
> 
> Forge of Fury, Speaker in Dreams, Standing Stone.
> 
> Or as I like to think of it, "The Peck Cycle."




I think you're right, when I think of Wulf's story hour I don't think of the later stories where the power level really cranked up to 11.  I think of the peck.  Granted, I think of him with disgust and contempt, but I do think of him.  It's a shame to lose Dorn though.  Now I'll grant you he's no Halma, but if you must have a cleric in the group (and I think the whole point of Nightfang Spire was to convince every party that came through that they needed a cleric or six), you could do much worse than Dorn.  


Morrow


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Elocin said:
			
		

> Brought a laugh to my face everytime.




You bastard. GM much?


----------



## Elocin

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> You bastard. GM much?




As a matter of fact I do, how did you know?  When I ran my players through this module I instantly harkened back to reading your story hour when the rogue in my party failed their detect trap roll and fell through the trap as well.

Loved it.

But then the Cleric in my group had some great rolls when talking to the leader of the girallons and converted her to worship Pelor, so now in my world there are is a tribe of Girallons who now worship Pelor.  He ruined all my fun.


----------



## Lord Pendragon

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Forge of Fury, Speaker in Dreams, Standing Stone.
> 
> Or as I like to think of it, "The Peck Cycle."



While this is undoubtedly the best part of the Story Hour, I think the rest of the SH is still very good, and certainly worthy of being included in the whole.  Perhaps as a sequel that's not quite as compelling as the first, but still a worthy read.  Dorn, Diessa, Shorty, and Karak and his little boy...these are all characters that are fun to read about, even if they aren't as compelling as the Wulf vs. Peck dynamic.


----------



## Krafus

Hello, there. I'm a long-time lurker who decided to unlurk today, and I wanted to congratulate Wulf for this excellent story hour. Of all SHs on this site, I think it's the one that has made me laugh most often. Wulf Ratbane is a truly memorable character, and I really enjoyed reading about events from his always entertaining POV. I'll always remember the part where Wulf muses to himself that he calls the mules mules so as to emotionally distance himself from their inevitable demise, and then looks over at *the halfling*...


----------



## WizarDru

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> You guys really take the fun out of being a bad guy.



 I think Red Dwarf put it best:  "_Everybody loves *a bastard.*_"


----------



## pogre

I would love to see you do a formal story hour on your current D&D campaign. Just reading the few session updates you have written has been a lot of fun!

Not that you have enough on your plate currently mind you.


----------



## Graywolf-ELM

I hope no one will mind if I bump this one for new readers to see.  It has been one of my favorites.

GW


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Another bump? I'm such a pimp.


----------



## Graywolf-ELM

Wow, it has been ages since I read this.  Definitely worth the read.

GW


----------



## sheelba

So this is where Wulf's saga is hiding ; )

I've not read this for literally years, well, here goes.

thanks wulf


----------



## RatPunk

Still one of the finest story hours ever.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

See you all again in a year!


----------



## Eridanis

(A-bit-more-than-a) Five-year anniversary bump. (It's hard to believe it's been that long!) I went back and reread it this week - amusingly, I don't recall reading the whole Lord of the Iron Fortress writeup, so some of it was even new to me!

The characterizations still hold up well. You did such a good job with this SH, and I'm glad it's still here to enjoy.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

A bit late for my yearly bump but I wanted to make sure ENworld2 was up, running, and stable before I deluged it with adoring fans.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Thanks for the XP... and the subtle reminder to make my yearly bump.


----------



## Noumenon

Absolute coincidence, believe it or not -- just discovered the story hour, round about page 36 I decided to open up a new tab to page 1 and give you XP... then I get to page 47 and there's a new post in the thread!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Thanks again for the XP... early yearly bump!


----------



## nwjavahead

*Wulf!*

Hey,
Been a while, was making my monthly rounds, saw this baby had activity!  Miss the good old days...

Thank you once again for your SH!
djordje


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

I'm late for my yearly bump!


----------



## RatPunk

Ah, the halcyon days when we used to gather round the fire to be regaled with tales of the great Wulf's exploits. I do miss them so.


----------



## Endur

Wulf,

This was a great story hour. 

I enjoyed it very much when you first posted it.

Endur


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Frequent updates at Skullkickers Comic | Skullkickers have reminded me of my yearly bump.

And also, if you like Wulf's Story Hour, I can't recommend Skull*Kickers enough.

You should recognize the short one.


----------



## pogre

A bump for Dwarven JUSTICE!

OK - really just so my son can easily find and read this...


----------



## pogre

Bump for the Story Hour that was the reason I joined ENWorld.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Tolkien's birthday is a fine day to bump this Story Hour. 

It's hard to believe that the first post was over 20 years ago.


----------



## coyote6

In eleven days, it will be old enough to drink (in most of the US).


----------

