# The propoganda is working? - A woman recommends dating nerds...



## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Aug 1, 2006)

I don't remember seeing this here before, but's it's from last year, so it's possible...

Cut & Pasted from : http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

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Date: 2005-04-03, 9:30PM PDT


In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys. 

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE. 

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself. 

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends. 

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too. 

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing? 

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend. 

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination. 

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza? 

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen. 
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!” 
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...” 
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store* 
Geek Guy: “What?” 
Me: “Never mind...” 

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light. 

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream). 

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap. 

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce... 

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps... 

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.


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## Meloncov (Aug 1, 2006)

I've seen it before, though I'm not sure if it was here or elsewhere.


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## BOZ (Aug 1, 2006)

heh, that's more than a little tongue-in-cheek as well


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## Seanaci (Aug 1, 2006)

Yup. I've seen this before. A friend found it somewhere on the net. 

And actually...I have one of those geeky gamer guys...and most of that is pretty true of him. ^_^


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## Jdvn1 (Aug 1, 2006)

I should post that on my door.


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## bodhi (Aug 1, 2006)

Seanaci said:
			
		

> And actually...I have one of those geeky gamer guys...and most of that is pretty true of him. ^_^



I _am_ one of those geeky gamer guys, and I think most of it is pretty true of me, too.


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## Thunderfoot (Aug 2, 2006)

What I want to know is where was this twenty years ago?

My hot HS friend after her break up with Uber jerk the wonder goon:

Her: "What a jerk, why can't I get a guy like you?"
Me: "You can, I'm available!"
Her: "Ha hahahaha, you're so cute. *rubs my head like I'm a puppy*"
Me: " No really, I'm available, are you busy on Friday?"
Her: *spying Uber-jerk Jr across the street* "I wonder if he's available?"
Me: "Okay, how about Saturday?"
Her *leaving to go flag down UJjr.* "Hi, *giggle* My name's...."
Me: *groan*


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## Dark Jezter (Aug 2, 2006)

Thunderfoot said:
			
		

> What I want to know is where was this twenty years ago?
> 
> My hot HS friend after her break up with Uber jerk the wonder goon:
> 
> ...



 You should have become a jerk, then.


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## Cursed Quinn (Aug 2, 2006)

This doc's pretty much how I see things. I'm much more attracted to geeks/nerds than other types of guys. You CANNOT overate intelligence (though a good set of social skills is nice as well). Probably the only thing I find more attractive than a geeky guy is a geeky girl


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## Dannyalcatraz (Aug 2, 2006)

Thunderfoot, I hear you- one of the many RW nicknames I earned in college is "Captain Friend."


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## BlueBlackRed (Aug 2, 2006)

The moment dating nerds becomes "the next hot thing" is when nerds start thinking "Hey, if I can get this hot chick then I might be able to get one hotter." - just like every other guy.

Chris Rock - "A man is only as faithful as his options."
I don't agree with it 100%, but you can't deny that there's a ring of truth to it.


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## Thunderfoot (Aug 2, 2006)

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Thunderfoot, I hear you- one of the many RW nicknames I earned in college is "Captain Friend."



Ewww, ouch!
Dark Jezter - I tried, I'm no good at it.  Egotistical, maniacal, over-bearing, yes - plain old jerk, no... 

The upside to all this is that geek girls are definitely getting hotter!  Heck, the fact that there are geek girls is an upswing in things since the 80s.   Yes, they existed, but they were "mostly" closet geeks.


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## trancejeremy (Aug 2, 2006)

Yeah, but to a certain extent though, I think a lot of people who are labeled as "nerds" or "geeks" actually aren't. Or at least the stereotypes aren't true about them being really smart or technical or the like.

I mean, gamers. How many are actually well educated? Some, yes, but a lot are high school drop-outs or community college types.  Or how many are the Jason Fox computer geek types? Not many. A lot of them actually have trouble figuring out computers beyond the basics.

This is largely anecdotal, but a lot of gamers have trouble with simple math. I am a fan of the d6 system, but the company that made it found they had a lot of trouble at cons because the people there couldn't add up more than a few dice (so they came up with a picture based dice system, count the number of same symbols).

In truth, I think the average one is more like that guy in the McDonald's commercial who has a car whose door won't open and has difficulty getting through the window.


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## Captain NeMo (Aug 3, 2006)

I find the whole article terribly patronizing. Pretty much mounts up to: "Hey, pick up one of the nerds! They won't believe their luck at actually becoming romantically involved, so you can treat them like your ***** until you get bored and want to move on!"


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## ThirdWizard (Aug 3, 2006)

Dark Jezter said:
			
		

> You should have become a jerk, then.




I actually tried this once! It was an experiment to see how much easier it would be to get a girl being nice versus being a jerk. Being a jerk _worked_. I was stunned because I didn't really think it would. But, then I started feeling bad about it. I expected to get mouthed off to and such. So I stopped treating her like a jerk. And a week later, she broke up with me to go out with some other guy, who was a jerk. 

It just ain't right.


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## Dark Jezter (Aug 4, 2006)

ThirdWizard said:
			
		

> I actually tried this once! It was an experiment to see how much easier it would be to get a girl being nice versus being a jerk. Being a jerk _worked_. I was stunned because I didn't really think it would. But, then I started feeling bad about it. I expected to get mouthed off to and such. So I stopped treating her like a jerk. And a week later, she broke up with me to go out with some other guy, who was a jerk.
> 
> It just ain't right.




Yep, acting like a jerk definately has proven to be effective for a lot of men.  Heck, if you browse some of the old relationship advice threads that occasionally pop up here at EN World, you'll notice that several men all giving the same advice: "Be a bit of a jerk."


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## MavrickWeirdo (Aug 4, 2006)

Jodjod said:
			
		

> I find the whole article terribly patronizing. Pretty much mounts up to: "Hey, pick up one of the nerds! They won't believe their luck at actually becoming romantically involved, so you can treat them like your ***** until you get bored and want to move on!"




You mean there is something wrong with that?


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## RangerWickett (Aug 5, 2006)

What exactly does being a jerk consist of?


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## ssampier (Aug 5, 2006)

Thunderfoot said:
			
		

> What I want to know is where was this twenty years ago?
> 
> My hot HS friend after her break up with Uber jerk the wonder goon:
> 
> ...




Huh. How did she know he was a jerk from that angle? Do jerks look and act different?


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## Dirigible (Aug 5, 2006)

> What exactly does being a jerk consist of?




That was going to be my question.


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## Jdvn1 (Aug 6, 2006)

Dirigible said:
			
		

> That was going to be my question.



 It involves a dehumidifier.


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## Dark Jezter (Aug 7, 2006)

RangerWickett said:
			
		

> What exactly does being a jerk consist of?



 If you want to be the kind of jerk that gets women, just read Teflon Billy's tips in the other relationship threads:  Basically, act somewhat cocky and arrogant, don't agree with everything she says, tease her and poke fun at her a little every now and then, etc.

To put it in a way that geeks would understand: act like Han Solo.


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## Fishbone (Aug 7, 2006)

Hmm, looks like this article should be renamed
"Geeks are low maintenance and desperate so feel free to treat them as your beeyotches."
The article is telling women that they can dress like crap with a geek, that geeks remember dates to "make you happy", their friends won't hit on you because they're total losers, computer obsessed, and will never leave your using and abusing behind because you're likely they best they'll ever get. Please, this article is nonsense and b.s. from top to bottom.


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## Quasqueton (Aug 7, 2006)

Dark Jezter said:
			
		

> To put it in a way that geeks would understand: act like Han Solo.



This is the funniest thing I've read in weeks.

Quasqueton


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## MavrickWeirdo (Aug 8, 2006)

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> It involves a dehumidifier.




or at least a dehumaneifier


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## nerfherder (Aug 8, 2006)

Fishbone said:
			
		

> Please, this article is nonsense and b.s. from top to bottom.



You did read the first word in the title, didn't you...?




			
				Dark Jezter said:
			
		

> To put it in a way that geeks would understand: act like Han Solo.



Works for me...

Cheers,
Liam


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## megamania (Aug 19, 2006)

Revenge of the Nerds......



I agree with most everything including the "I want someone whom cares about me...." then ignores you.   


How is it I can repair other people's relationships while mine falls further apart?  I need to become a jerk or better off an @$$whole.


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## Ambrus (Aug 24, 2006)

megamania said:
			
		

> I need to become a jerk or better off an @$$whole.



Jerk is a base class, but @$$hole is a prestige class. Luckily the requirements aren't hard to achieve.  

I'm such a geek.


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## crystal (Aug 25, 2006)

Fishbone said:
			
		

> Hmm, looks like this article should be renamed
> "Geeks are low maintenance and desperate so feel free to treat them as your beeyotches."
> The article is telling women that they can dress like crap with a geek, that geeks remember dates to "make you happy", their friends won't hit on you because they're total losers, computer obsessed, and will never leave your using and abusing behind because you're likely they best they'll ever get. Please, this article is nonsense and b.s. from top to bottom.







I agree with your view on this, but I was a popular girl in school, dating jocks and jerks. I was in  with a few a#@ holes. After 3 years of dating a football player I got preg. I should have left him long before, but I felt I had to stay with him cuz of my status. After he foubd out about tha baby he threw me into his truck, causing me to misscarry. After that I quit school to get away from him. A decision I regret to this day. any way, after a while I started dating and all turned out to be jerks over and over. Finaly I got tired of that crap. I left all men behind. later, I met this guy, he was sweet, nice and full of life. He was a complete nerd in all sence of tha word. Verry smart, used big words, and talked about gaming and computers. Not tha normal guy I went for. I decided what tha heck, mabye this one wont beat me. He seems nice, plus I was well in need of something....lol.....I gave him a chance. He intrudeced me to a whole new way of thinking. He was tha greatest. I took him to my parrents and intruduced them. They where unshure of him cuz he was not what I usualy braught home. any who to make a really long story short, we have 2 beautiful children, and are married 8 years. He is my best friend, tha best lover a woman could ask for physicly and mentaly. The best daddy in tha world. Dosent complain that I gained a few pounds over tha years. though I sometimes do. We still play d&d lol. I love this man with all my heart. I am so greatfull to have him. I know how I thaught about nerds in tha past, and I was wrong. I wouldent have it any other way. This man saved my life in every since of tha word. When I found out I was preg with his child I was scared and ready to run, he comferted me that he was not goieng any where. He was gonna stand by me through it all. And he did.......The only bad thing I can say about him is that He allways laughs at my choice of words and spellin. 



Sorry so long. I just had to say it ........This subject is not bs. It is so true. I do dress up for my man. I do cook and clean. I try to put on a great impression to his friends, I cook for them and serve them also. I like to boost his ego a lot espacily in front of his friends.


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## BOZ (Aug 25, 2006)

you don't sound too different from my wife!


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## crystal (Aug 25, 2006)

megamania said:
			
		

> Revenge of the Nerds......
> 
> 
> 
> ...







heavens no, dont do that.....A great woman will come along.....dont degraid yourself to that level........


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## paulsometimes (Aug 25, 2006)

I think this article is crap.  However, I've learned that it's better to be myself and be dateless than to start acting like someone I'm not just to try and get chicks.  I've done the jerk thing and it's a shame it works, but I don't do it any more.  I want a women I can be nice to and do romantic things for.  Should that come along, great, if not, so it goes.  Pretending to be someone you're not just to have someone by your side is not gonna keep you from feeling lonely.  And on top of that, I can't bring myself to have respect for a women that has no respect for herself and consequently, lets herself be treated like crap.


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## Mycanid (Aug 25, 2006)

Err ... strange.

Ah well.

One of the advantages about being a fungus is that you don't have to worry about all this stuff.


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## trancejeremy (Aug 25, 2006)

paulsometimes said:
			
		

> I think this article is crap.  However, I've learned that it's better to be myself and be dateless than to start acting like someone I'm not just to try and get chicks.  I've done the jerk thing and it's a shame it works, but I don't do it any more.  I want a women I can be nice to and do romantic things for.  Should that come along, great, if not, so it goes.  Pretending to be someone you're not just to have someone by your side is not gonna keep you from feeling lonely.  And on top of that, I can't bring myself to have respect for a women that has no respect for herself and consequently, lets herself be treated like crap.




QFT


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## MavrickWeirdo (Aug 26, 2006)

Mycanid said:
			
		

> Err ... strange.
> 
> Ah well.
> 
> One of the advantages about being a fungus is that you don't have to worry about all this stuff.




I though every woman is looking for a fun  gi


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## ssampier (Aug 26, 2006)

MavrickWeirdo said:
			
		

> I though every woman is looking for a fun  gi




*groan*

That was *bad*

but funny.

Your humor is right up my alley.


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## ssampier (Aug 26, 2006)

paulsometimes said:
			
		

> I think this article is crap.  However, I've learned that it's better to be myself and be dateless than to start acting like someone I'm not just to try and get chicks.  I've done the jerk thing and it's a shame it works, but I don't do it any more.  I want a women I can be nice to and do romantic things for.  Should that come along, great, if not, so it goes.  Pretending to be someone you're not just to have someone by your side is not gonna keep you from feeling lonely.  And on top of that, I can't bring myself to have respect for a women that has no respect for herself and consequently, lets herself be treated like crap.




Well I can't say women don't like jerks, but you can't be something you aren't. Instead, I'd try to less of a walking carpet and more a likable guy that's funny and has a lot going for him. I think that is really what many women are looking for.

I'm _trying_ to be that guy.


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## Mycanid (Aug 26, 2006)

Yes, yes, yes Mavrick ... I thought SOMEone would pick up on the joke. Nevertheless, I'm glad YOU said it and not me.  It's a joke used so much I don't have the energy to use it anymore. Glad other's can get mileage out of it though.


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## paulsometimes (Aug 26, 2006)

ssampier said:
			
		

> Well I can't say women don't like jerks, but you can't be something you aren't. Instead, I'd try to less of a walking carpet and more a likable guy that's funny and has a lot going for him. I think that is really what many women are looking for.
> 
> I'm _trying_ to be that guy.




While I'm not a mind reader, I'd say a lot of people are doing their best to be something they're not.  I've had too many conversation with people late at night where people start talking about how they need to be more of themselves and less of whoever it is they're pretending to be.
And as for a "likeable guy that's funny and has a lot going for him", for a lot of girl's I know that's a guy that looks good and has some comedy cd's to play in their car.  I've known more than one girl that has hooked up with a guy that turns out to be a bit of a jerk and when I bluntly point this out, they say it doesn't matter, they can change him.  The size of some women's egos is amazing (even more amazing is how that ego doesn't shrink when they find out they're wrong about some guy or another).


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## xrpsuzi (Aug 26, 2006)

paulsometimes said:
			
		

> I think this article is crap.  However, I've learned that it's better to be myself and be dateless than to start acting like someone I'm not just to try and get chicks.  I've done the jerk thing and it's a shame it works, but I don't do it any more.  I want a women I can be nice to and do romantic things for.  Should that come along, great, if not, so it goes.  Pretending to be someone you're not just to have someone by your side is not gonna keep you from feeling lonely.  And on top of that, I can't bring myself to have respect for a women that has no respect for herself and consequently, lets herself be treated like crap.




This is exactly what happened with jgbrowning and I. This was the realization he had in his mid 20's (after a divorse in his early 20's), and he finally got to the point where he was content being alone. And then I asked him out. 

While I agree that much of the post sounds like catty girl-speak that degrades or devalues the geek guy, the heart of the matter holds true I think. A guy that is himself and a girl that feels like she can be herself--when they can get together and be themselves and enjoy each other's time is golden. That's something that is more difficult to find when people are still wearing masks and trying to sell themselves. That's why I asked joe out--he wasn't trying to sell me anything. He was just joe and that was fine by me.

But I'm a weird girl. I value honesty (both to oneself and to others) above all else. Lots of women (especially when they're younger) would rather hear and believe pretty lies.

-Suzi


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## Merkuri (Aug 26, 2006)

paulsometimes said:
			
		

> I've known more than one girl that has hooked up with a guy that turns out to be a bit of a jerk and when I bluntly point this out, they say it doesn't matter, they can change him.  The size of some women's egos is amazing (even more amazing is how that ego doesn't shrink when they find out they're wrong about some guy or another).




I used to be one of those girls.  In college I went out with a guy for almost a year and a half (though some of that time was summer vacation when we were several states away from each other).  He was super-critical of everything I did and made me feel like crud.  One time he actually broke down crying because he realized something about my personality (long story).  I tried to break up with him once, but he apologized and begged my forgiveness and I took him back.  Another time I broke down crying in front of him because he was trying to pressure me into something I wasn't ready to do.  His response to that was to lay off it for that day and resume the next.  I could go on and on about the things that should've lit the light in my head that this guy was a piece of dung.

It wasn't an ego thing, though (at least, not consciously).  It was that I liked being in a relationship.  The man I was with I wasn't so hot on, but I thought I needed the relationship.  I was trying to change him, and he was trying to change me, but eventually I came to the realization that it was just not worth it.  The person you date should make you feel good about yourself, and if you can't find that then you're better off alone.

I learned my lesson, though, and am with a great guy who I feel like I can be myself around without worrying about being criticized.  He loves me for who I am, and I love him for who he is.  

Oh, and we're both nerds.   Love you Awayfarer!


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## paulsometimes (Aug 27, 2006)

Merkuri said:
			
		

> It wasn't an ego thing, though (at least, not consciously).  It was that I liked being in a relationship.  The man I was with I wasn't so hot on, but I thought I needed the relationship.  I was trying to change him, and he was trying to change me, but eventually I came to the realization that it was just not worth it.  The person you date should make you feel good about yourself, and if you can't find that then you're better off alone.




Maybe I should have you talk to a friend of mine.  Not that the guy she's dating is really a jerk.  Both of them are decent people, but they do not have a decent relationship.  And I think the only reason they stay together is they're both desperate to have a relationship.  She's even hinted at this idea to me.  Yet now she's talking about marriage with this guy as he's about to deploy to the mideast and she thinks this will make sure to keep them together.  I can see a bad train wreck coming, but I guess some people have to go through it before they'll learn (though I'm really hoping they postpone this marriage thing).


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## Merkuri (Aug 27, 2006)

This might be the type of thing she needs to figure out for herself.  She might have time to realize what she's doing when he's gone.  If you seriously think she will not be happy in this marriage, tell her.  Let her know that you see how unhappy she is with this guy.

If she feels the need to tie this guy to her through marriage because she feels he'll be unfaithful otherwise or that they'll grow apart while he's away, then marriage is NOT what she needs to be thinking about.  If you have to find a way to make a person be with you then that relationship is not meant to be.  

I'm probably preaching to the choir, though.  I don't think me talking to her will change her mind, but feel free to point my posts out to her or send them to her in another manner.  She needs to figure out that a bad relationship is worse than no relationship at all, but whether she finds that out the hard way or the easy way is up to her.


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