# Retro Story Hour: (Contact's) Temple of Elemental Evil 2!



## Piratecat

It was just about two years ago when (contact) emailed me the game writeups from the Temple of Elemental Evil 2 game he had played in. This was before Monte Cook's RttToEE - heck, it was before 3e came out - and they wanted to field test the rules that they'd picked up here at Eric Noah's website. I began to read the story. After ten pages, I couldn't put it down. And when I finished it in the wee hours of the morning, it was everything I could do not to wake KidCthulhu and make HER read it!  So I posted it here on the boards, one installment a day.  Of course, that was two messageboards ago, and the original thread is long gone.

But the story isn't. And recently re-reading it, I'm reminded by how damn good it really is.  Character death galore. Sneaky machiniations. Epic battles. And an awful lot at stake.

So here it is again, in all of its glory. (contact) is illustrating it, a picture per installment. And I hope you have as much fun reading this as I do.


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## Enkhidu

Sweeeeeeeeeeet! 

I love this thing. Should we expect one update a day again?


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## (contact)

Yeah, let's do a daily serial update, what do you say?  I will be illustrating the thing as we go.  


*Foreword*

We ran this campaign during the Spring and Summer of 2000.  Most of you will remember this time as the giddy months leading up to the release of 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons.  I will remember it as the giddy months where I watched character after character get sucked into, then get mulched by this abandoned temple in the woods south of Furyondy.  You know the one - - it's near Homlett, there's always an electrical storm going on around it . . . that's right, _The Temple of Elemental Evil_.

The campaign was inspired by the "Return to" series of modules released towards the end of the 2e run.  Monte Cook's excellent RtTOEE hadn't even been announced, and we needed a fresh start to work out the kinks in our hybrid "2e/Eric Noah's Unofficial 3e Site" game.  We had fond memories of the original _Temple of Elemental Evil_, and our DM wanted to give it a crack.

We knew we wanted the "Return" to be true to the original:  A huge, unbelievably deadly dungeon that chewed up player characters like Mama Kass at an all you can eat sushi bar.

So I rolled up a happy-go-lucky halfling.

I hope you enjoy it, and remember:  "Take it one level at a time, kill everything, then move on".


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## (contact)

*Dramatis Personae, (or Deadmatis Most Likelae)*

*Our Cast of Characters*


*The Adventurers*
- Aelniir of the Sheildlands, a crusading cleric of Tritherion
- Esril, an Almorian expatriate, human fighter and lay follower of Kelanen, the Sword Saint
- Gnomishic, a forest gnome rogue/illusionist
- Heydricus, a lazy sorcerer, with a fighter's background
- Reysnole, a half-elven ranger/druid
- Whistlin' Pippin Jumpscreek, halfling rogue


*NPCs of Hommlet:*
- Canon Turgeon of St. Cuthbert
- Calmiir, his assistant, a 3rd level cleric of St. Cuthbert
- Jeru Ashstaff, Druid of the Woods
- Ostler, owner and proprietor, The Sign of the Cudgel
- Isuld and Therese, Ostler's daughters
- Daily and Dobble, Ostler's sons in law
- Andras, the Wizard in the Tower
- Old Missus Klench, gossip and rumormonger


*NPCs of Knulb:*
- Lord Henri of Knulb, paladin
- Marie, his Landed Consort and Regent
- The Nine Sisters
- Gravy, halfling retired adventurer, owner of Gravy's Greasy Spoon (Home of the All-You-Can-Eat-Endweek!)
- Dick Rentch, proprietor of the Waterside, and leader of the Thieves' Guild
- Locke, a thief


*The Political Situation: *
When the campaign begins, the Viscount Wilfrik of the Free City of Verbobonc has recently been assassinated. A Baron of Furyondy by the name of Butrain has put forward his claim. Butrain is opposed by the Lady Anne of Mitrik, who is the niece of Wilfrik. Tensions are high in southern Furyondy. 

In the wake of the Greyhawk War, refugees from the conquered Northern Sheildlands have spilled into the Knulb area in large numbers.


*Political Figures of Note:*
- King Belvor of Furyondy, Our Lord Good and Kind
- Baron Butrain of Furyondy, Lord of Willip. Butrain has put forward a claim to Verbobonc
- Lady Anne of Mitrik (Wilfrik's niece), also with a claim to Verbobonc
- High Mayor Velyson of Verbobonc
- Lord Henri, of Knulb
- Lady Marie, of Knulb
- Sir Willam of Willip, Knight of the Hart (a Furyondian chivalric order), populist leader


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## (contact)

*Chapter 1:  Sweep Around Your Own Front Door*

*Chapter One:  Sweep Around Your Own Front Door
(or, All beginnings are endings, but some are the Beginning of the End.)*

The PCs meet on the road to Hommlet, a sleepy little town in the middle of nowhere, most famous for being the kind of place where nothing Evil ever happens, the sort of town where all is as it seems and adventurers don't have to sleep with their weapons at hand.

Hommlet is also known, of course, for being the town closest to the Temple of Elemental Evil, a truly horrific multi-level temple/dungeon complex where the forces of Evil (Eeeeeviiil) forged an Unholy alliance between the followers of Iuz and Zuggtomoy, and priests worshipping the Evil aspects of the four Elemental Planes.  Thankfully, all this cruelty and depravity was destroyed 20 years ago, and as everyone knows, will never come back.

Hommlet has fared well under the stern and strict leadership of the Canon Turgeon, a cleric of St. Cuthbert, and de-facto Uber-Boss for Hommlet.  His strictly enforced rule that no traveler may stay in Hommlet beyond 3 days without a job ensures that the "refugee problem" (from the fallen Sheildlands) stays in dirty, disreputable Knulb where it belongs.

The party manages to hire on as 'scouts' and avoid the onerous 'indigent tax', with the exception of Heydricus, who thinks a silver piece a day is a small price to pay not to work.  Aelniir quickly butts heads with the Canon over secular and religious issues, and Pippin becomes infamous for holding down not one, not two, but three jobs!  Pippin whitewashes the Church of St. Cuthbert by day, helps out at The Sign of the Cudgel, Hommlet's Inn, by night, and puts any spare time to work rebuilding the PCs home in Hommlet, a dilapidated building shunned by the locals.

The party does some drinking with a wandering fighter by the name of Willam of Willip.  Nice guy.  Dresses really well.

The party hears the following from the rumor mill:  The recent assassination of the Viscount of Verbobonc may have been sponsored by the Baron Butrain, a Noble of Southern Furyondy with a claim to Verbobonc.  If Butrain succeeds to the Viscounty, it would be tantamount to a Furyondian annexation of Verbobonc, which would lead to the annexation of Dyvers, as well as the area around Hommlet and Knulb.  

Reysnole develops a mentorship with Jeru Ashstaff, a druid who used to live in Hommlet but fled the Canon's iron handed rule for the peace of the forest.  Despite the fact that Jeru is now a powerful enough druid to level Hommlet on the solo, he prefers not to be involved with the 'civilized folk' at all.  Reysnole begins leading Nature Walks for the edification of Hommlet's spiritually hungry.  

Aelniir advances Tritherion's Cause by looking for things to kill.  He finds some, first in the persons of a small goblin tribe bent on murder and mayhem, then in the shape of rumors that something Wicked has taken up residence in a nearby abandoned moathouse.  While not exactly the Temple, it'll do.  The party travels to Knulb in preparation for their attack on the moathouse.

In Knulb, the PCs meet Gravy, proprietor of Gravy's Greasy Spoon, a hostelry (despite its name) famous for the quality of its food.  Gravy, it seems, is the only local to have ventured into the dungeons beneath the Temple of Elemental Evil, made it out with his life, and stuck around Knulb.  Gravy's advice?  "Don't go in there.  Don't ever, for any reason, go in there!"  Thanks pal.  

Gravy also admonishes the PCs:  "*Do not take the back door into the temple*".  Whatever, little buddy.  Hey, thanks for the biscuits and pork chops.

The PCs begin their exploration of a ruined moathouse near Hommlet.  For backup, they take Daily and Dobble with them.  The brothers have night and day personalities, Dobble with his wide-eyed enthusiasm, and Daily barely able to suppress his greedy suspicion.  Esril dislikes Daily from the beginning, belittling his manhood at any opportunity.  Daily seems scared of her.  Aelniir strikes up a "hey-pal-guess-what-I've-got" relationship with the duo, trying (with moderate success) to convert them to the worship of Tritherion

After the foray into the moathouse, which results in several giant toads, carrion crawlers and giant ravens going to their Great Reward, the PCs hit upon a dungeon level guarded by undead.  A secret door reveals a chamber housing enough weapons and armor to arm half the populace of Hommlet!  Worse yet, Esril recognizes the Sigil of Prazrael, a Demon-Lord who has tormented her homeland of Almor.  Knowing there are demons about, the PCs grow suddenly paranoid.   Suspicion of Daily and Dobble soon follows.

Aelniir demands that the Canon establish a militia to defend Hommlet against the ravages of the Abyssal cultists.  The Canon Turgeon's calm reply to Aelniir's frantic assertion that there is an evil army preparing to ravish the countryside:  "That's what you're here for".  Aelniir grits his teeth and stalks away, recognizing the ass-whipping he would take from this mid-level cleric should he indulge his impulsive side.

Desiring to know the truth about the brothers grim, the party approaches the Mage Andras in Hommlet.  Andras agrees to do some divination on the duo in exchange for a suitable magic item from a later treasure find, and a first round pick in next year's draft.  Andras casts his divination (an ESP) and reports that Daily is planning to kill Aelniir.

The party takes Daily and Dobble into the woods to kill them, but a doppelganger posing as the elder daughter of the innkeeper ruins the ambush.  A wicked melee ensues, but our heroes emerge victorious (if half-alive).

Pippin & Gnomishic sneak back into Hommlet to investigate their fallen foes' rooms for clues before anyone catches wind of the fight in the woods.  P & G discover a secret attic w/ spy holes over every room in the inn.  Furthermore, our heroes discover that the owners of the inn are themselves doppelgangers, living off the labor of their human "child"!  No wonder the youngest daughter Isuld does all the work around the inn!  Her entire family has been replaced by shape-changing Eeeeeviiil.

Pippin sneaks into the doppelganger's room, and a battle ensues.  Pippin is slain, but not before he heroically dispatches one of the foul beasts, thereby  inducting himself into the Hall of Halfling Heroes.

The remaining doppelganger flees, and their evil coven (with Daily and Dobble the Assassins) is broken.  Pippin, however, has gone to the Great Halfling Burrow in the Sky.  An excerpt from the speech of  Canon Turgeon of  St. Cuthbert, given during the funeral of  Whistlin' Pippin Jumpscreek:


"Whistlin' Pippin, a very Friendly Hobbit.  Much loved and sorely missed.  We will all remember fondly his days of hard work painting the Chapel, followed by his evenings of hard work helping out at the inn.  In so many ways, Pippin worked to better our little community, exemplifying St. Cuthbert's doctrine of . . . (sermon edited for brevity) . . . and he never stole a thing in his life. 

"He may not have been the cleverest of Hobbits, and certainly his decision to enter single combat with two Doppelgangers was less than prudent, but I believe that in his final act, he embodied all that is best about our Faith:  A Relentless and Holy Zest to Smite Evil.

"Dear Pippin, we commend your soul to St. Cuthbert (if in fact He takes Hobbits), and swear that your death shall not be in vain!"

*Illustration*: ". . . _his decision to enter single combat with two Doppelgangers was less than prudent,_"

Isuld is inconsolable.  She has lost her family, and now she has lost the halfling she was secretly in love with.  She vows vengeance and agrees to train with Esril.  Isuld converts to the worship of Kelanen the Sword Saint, and renames 'The Inn of the Cudgel', 'Kelanen's Rest'.  She begins to train as a Fighter under Esril, and takes a powerful vow of revenge:  a blood oath to oppose the Evil that killed all of her loved ones.


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## ForceUser

God I love this story. I have it printed out in a binder. I'm going to reasd the whoollllleeee thing again now. Because it's Eeevviillllll.


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## Wulf Ratbane

That picture is AWESOME!

Worth a thousand words... well, a thousand words in anybody else's Story Hour, that is...


Wulf


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## Morrow

*Yahoo!*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> We knew we wanted the "Return" to be true to the original:  A huge, unbelievably deadly dungeon that chewed up player characters like Mama Kass at an all you can eat sushi bar.




It's back!  I loved this story hour when I first read it, and I'm eager to read it again.  Gather round boys and girls, this is the real thing.  No other story hour will make you ask plaintively, "Why won't anyone mulch my characters like that?"

Morrow


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## Lazybones

Yay!  First blood!

I do hope that this will go on the story hour hosting page as a collected work, once all and sundry chapters have been introduced.  

And there was much rejoicing.


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## Femerus the Gnecro

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *Of course, that was two messageboards ago, and the original thread is long gone.*




Or not.  

Using the wayback machine, I've found old version of Eric's site (including the story hour boards) in which the original RTTOEE thread was posted.  Actually, your original story hour is there as well, PC.  

I'd provide a link, but unfortunately it isn't working for me at this particular moment.  Rest assured though, I've accessed those sites as recently as August.  

-F


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## Dinkeldog

Thank you (cntxt)!  Just what I needed right now.


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## (contact)

Femerus-- email me at cklarock@hotmail.com when you find it, I would love to see the original thread!


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## Corwyn

*Walks over to fridge, grabs a bucket of B&J and sits down with a spoon.*

More! More!!

Loved the original story, and now it is even better with illustrations.


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## Samnell

Must... have... more...


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## (contact)

*Two:  Into the Moathouse.  
(or, What Evil lurks in the hearts of men?  It ain't got nothin' on these guys.)*

Shortly after Pippin's funeral, the PCs meet Ahlana, a mysterious Grey-Elven Priestess from Verbobonc.  Ahlana worships Boccob, God of  Magic and Knowledge, and is herself multi-classed as a Mage/Priestess.  Ahlana gets the ice-grill treatment for about 15 seconds, then is accepted into the group without any further ado.

Our Brave Heroes return to the moathouse, discover a second dungeon level, and fight undead and gnolls. In the process, they learn about an evil priest from the gnolls, and his mysterious 'pet'.   On a third foray into the Moathouse, the PCs encounter the evil priest of Prazrael, Laereth.  A bloody melee ensues, and our heroes thin the ranks of their foes with _sleep_ spells, but the enchantments are soon dispelled.  Evil thieves begin appearing out of nowhere, backstabbing every which way, and the cause looks lost.  Ahlana _silences_ the priest, Gnomishic _greases_  the floor, and as the PCs are retreating, sets their foes on fire.  Ahlana screams, "This is how we punish those who dare trifle with Iuz!" hoping to confuse the Prazraelians as to who their foe really is.  The PCs drag their casualties [Gnomishic (held), Esril (neg.) and Aelniir (neg.)] back the way they came.

The PCs are followed by "Sarge" and a detail of 6 men, including a sneak.  A desperate melee ensues in the fens outside the moathouse, with the horribly wounded PCs unable to return the villains' missile fire.  The party's best fighters are unable to fight, and the situation looks dire.  The PCs duck beneath the cover provided by the fens and engage the enemy in small groups.  The cause of Good prevails, no thanks to Ahlana, who proves to be a mewling coward once she runs out of spells.

The PCs take one prisoner and on the walk home hear his story:  A refugee of the Greyhawk Wars, he had lived in refugee camps surviving on rats and garbage until Laereth recruited him as a mercenary.  The PCs take pity on the poor fellow, and offer him a position at the inn.  Isuld won't have it, so the PCs suggest he finish the work Pippin left undone on Jeru Ashstaff's old place.

The refugee-turned-mercenary spills his guts on the moathouse garrison, how the Priest of Prazrael was planning to attack the Iuzian worshippers in the Temple, his troop strength, how many thieves are left in the group, spellcasters, etc.  He even describes Laereth's 'pet':  A big lizard with wings & a long tail, two little horns . . . all told about 15' long.  Ahlana sagely questions the fellow: "Does it ever walk backwards?"   No.  "Does it ever speak in unrecognizable phrases?"  Never.  "Does it smell like brimstone?  Does it eat treasure?"  No, and no.   Satisfied, she pronounces to the party that it is definitely not a dragon. Good going, Ahlana.

The PCs return to the moathouse and sneak in the back way.  A clever plan emerges:  scratch on the door until the guards come out, then ambush them.  After all, it works for that cat that hangs around the Inn, right?  When this doesn't produce results, Ahlana grows impatient and leaps around the door, intending to cast a spell, only to find two spearmen, two crossbowmen and two longbowmen covering her.  Good going, Ahlana.  

She is shot multiple times, and slumps to the floor like a sack of meal.  The party charges in, only to fight their way halfway up the corridor before the 'pet' sticks its scaly, black, reptilian head around the corner and blasts them with a cone of acid. 

It's a dragon. 

The acid literally destroys Aelniir's weapons and armor, leaving him defenseless, and melts a good part of the other party member's gear also, including some magic items.   Prudence wins the day, and the half-naked, weaponless Crusader leads the "charge to the rear".

Fortunately for her, Ahlana is found to be still breathing when the party makes its way to safety.  She is patched up, and tries to pretend that the whole thing never happened.  The party tightens its collective belt, and heads back to the moathouse.

Things have been brewing for a battle royale, and  on the way back to the moathouse for the fifth time, the PCs get it.  The black dragon, its Prazraelian master, and all his remaining followers jump the PCs on the road in.  Heydricus draws first blood, hitting the dragon with a long-range arrow shot.  Not one to be outdone, the dragon dives beneath the water of the fens and pops up on the PCs' flank, blasting them with acid.   A horrible no-holds-barred battle ensues, with Esril singly taking on Laereth and his henchmen, leaving the rest of the party to slug it out with a dragon.  

When the smoke clears, all the villains lie dead, save for two who fled, and the lifeless corpses of Aelniir and Reysnole float on the muddy water.  Esril's corpse sinks due to the huge hole in her skull, or lack thereof, crushed by a blow from Laereth's Staff of Striking.  The treasure hoard of the priest is impressive, but at what price? 

*Illustration*:  "When the smoke clears".

The party determines to have reliquary statues and shrines for their fallen members set up at Isuld's inn (the newly named Kelanen's Rest, after the Sword Saint, Isuld's patron).


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## Wulf Ratbane

I mean, having (cntxt) do an illustration every day is fine and all, but why not link it right into the story? I have to spend an extra moment clicking the link? Is it some sort of delayed gratification thing?

I mean, it's like reading a book and then putting it down and opening ANOTHER book to look at the illustration. 

What the heck?


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## (contact)

Maybe you should get a lackey to click the links for you, Wulf.   I was trying to be considerate of modem viewers, since the images are routinely 140k or so.


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## Kesh

Oh my god... P-kitty cast _True Resurrection_ on the story hour! 

Ahh, the memories. Glad to see this back. And with pictures, no less! Excellent. Yet another reason never to leave the house.


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## (contact)

*Three:  Political Unrest in a Time of Trouble
(or, The Big Picture doesn't look much better.)*

So much has happened.  Pippin is dead.  Aelniir is dead. Esril is dead.  Reysnole is dead.  The only surviving original party members are Gnomishic and Heydricus.

Two forest Elves join up;  a priestess (of Solaniir Thalandera) named Sweet Pea, and her ever-vigilant (and xenophobic) bodyguard Little Leaf.  The party acquires a jongleur by the name of Suhi, originally hired for entertainment, but kept on for his fierce staff fighting.  A strange ranger by the name of Rose (supposedly the word for thorn-flower in her barbarous native tongue), hailing from some land she calls Georgia (?) joins shortly thereafter.  Rose was known to the Wood Elves, and they vouched for her.  The newly formed party then incorporated a young woman by the name of Tisha.  An Invoker of strangely subdued and retiring demeanor.  Shy, even, until she lets loose with her blasting spells.  

("Um, excuse me . . . BOOM!")

In the political arena, Lord Henri of Knulb is supporting the claim of Lady Anne of Mitrik, who is his friend.  Furthermore, he is charged with keeping the peace in Wretched Knulb.  Unfortunately for him, 'that friendly fighter' Sir Willam of Willip has moved into Knulb, identifying himself as a Knight of Furyondy.  Willam begins rabble-rousing the refugee Shieldlanders with promises that once Furyondy annexes Verbobonc, the united state can re-take the Sheildlands.  

When Sir Willam's rhetoric becomes more vehement and insistent, the refugee camps in Knulb begin to boil over.  Fighting in the streets becomes a problem, and sporadic looting breaks out.  This added element of unrest is more than the Lord of Knulb can take, and he has Sir Willam arrested, provoking viscous riots.

Enter our heroes.  The party visits the house of the besieged Lord Henri (a Paladin) and befriends his Lady, Marie. They describe to the Lady their findings in the moathouse, and suspicions about the Temple.  The party describes their actions to date against the Evil forces, and sketch out a plan.  The Lady is appropriately horrified, and regrets that the civil unrest in Knulb renders her unable to send a force.  She promises to help the party in any way she can, and asks to be kept abreast of the situation.  The PCs, finally finding a friendly face and sympathetic ear, agree, and beg her leave, that they might seek shelter from the riots before night falls.

No sooner does our band of heroes sit down for a mug, a pipe and a bite, then they are set upon in a treacherous ambuscade!  Some sort of shape-shifting darkling leads a mixed band of men (including a 5th level fighter, four 2nd level fighters, a thief, and a 4th level Iuzian priest) in a sudden attack.  (The look on Ahlana's face when she is shot in the back and dropped to one HP before she can even set her glass down!  Well, I guess you had to be there.)  She manages to stand, but with both a well-placed archer and an enemy spellcaster keying off on her, she is soon killed.  

*Illustration*: "I guess you had to be there".

The PCs valiantly attempt to defend themselves, but all looks lost.  With most of their number _held_ or unconscious, only last-minute heroics from Rose and Heydricus pull the party from the fire.  The diabolical leader of the villains (a scoundrel of the first order named Faust) escapes-but not before Heydricus robs him of a magical sword and _wand of lightning_.

The party wonders how the villains could have set up an ambush so quickly when they decided to stay at that Inn just a few hours before, while visiting with the Lady.  The party suspects a double agent in the home of Lord Henri.  Any agent of Evil in the home of a paladin must be pretty talented, so the party vows to stay on their toes.

Unfortunately for the villains, as they set up the ambush, they murdered one of the Nine Sisters of Knulb, the town's closest approximation to a Mafia / monopoly / trade guild  (think of a medieval Microsoft, except not as fair).  The Sisters have sworn terrible vengeance, and knowing that the party is opposed to the villains, offer to underwrite the party's expenses.  They also ask for one of their people to accompany the party:  one Lucius Maturin, rogue and ne'er-do-well.  A poisioner and 'inquisitor' for the Nine Sisters,  Lucius is also fanatically devoted to St. Cuthbert's doctrine of war against Iuz.

Sir Willam soon escapes from the Lord Henri, and leads his rebellion from hiding.  Tension is thick, and the PCs hear that the Knights of Furyondy have been expelled from Veluna.  It looks like a war is brewing, and that practically ensures that the PCs can hope for no assistance from the forces of Good in the region.  They'll have to rely on their own means to combat the threat from the Temple.


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## (contact)

(sniff)  He killed so . . . many . . . of my characters.


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## Morrow

(contact) said:
			
		

> *(sniff)  He killed so . . . many . . . of my characters. *




Yah, but he did it with such style and panache (or efficiency and brutality, if you prefer).  I wish someone cared enough to kill my characters with such an unwavering sense of purpose.

Morrow


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## Barastrondo

(contact) said:
			
		

> *Maybe you should get a lackey to click the links for you, Wulf.   I was trying to be considerate of modem viewers, since the images are routinely 140k or so. *




And don't think we don't appreciate it. Some of us live where you can't even get cable at all, so dial-up is what you take and you like it.

The illustrations are such a super-keen touch, too. Poor Ahlana... she looks so... sad. It actually makes me feel sorry for her, which is a consideration  most elves getting shot in the back during dinnertime wouldn't get from me.


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## Dinkeldog

Yeah, but Ahlanna lasted what, two sessions?  Better than poor Pippin.


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## Horacio

I arrived to the Eric Noah's boards by Summer 2000, but I wasn't a story hour addict by then (in fact, I began reading Nemmerle's and Wulf's stories...), so I missed this one... 

So your new faithful reader has arrived, contact


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## Thorntangle

I have to pipe in and praise your artwork. My favorite so far is Pippin. Such a great look on his face and the style/setting/background is perfect.

edit: carrpy speeling


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## fett527

I have been told by Enkhidu that I must read this thread since I wan't around to read it the first time.  I will be following and posting comments to that fashion.  Pretty cool so far, SO MUCH DEATH!!!


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## Rackhir

Ah, I just noticed this thread, you should mention this on the main Liberator's thread. I'm sure most of your readers for that would like to get the backstory, but it is nice to be reading it again. I can't wait til they get to the big battle at the end and Jespo's conversation w/t the celestial about his familiar. That's GOT to be worth a picture. The sketches are a very nice touch. I LOVED the first one with the halfling, they are rapidly rising on my list of least favorite races.


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## (contact)

Barastrondo said:
			
		

> *Poor Ahlana... she looks so... sad. It actually makes me feel sorry for her, which is a consideration  most elves getting shot in the back during dinnertime wouldn't get from me. *




Yikes!  You should change your name to Barbrawlastrondo!  I'm glad to know that my drawing sparked some compassion in your otherwise cold and merciless heart.

Morrow-- don't worry.  You'll find your Rat Bastard, I just know it  (Cinderella theme music plays).  Our DM for this is my "oldest and greatest" friend (to borrow a quote from Edena).  From time to time we could hear him literally _laughing_ to himself while he was planning for that evening's session!  It was cliched to the point of being unbelievable, but then he'd spring something on us . . . ooh, lawd.

But I've always maintained that every single PC death could have been avoided if we'd made better descisions.  That's the mark of a _real_ RBDM (TM).  They get your character, but leave you thinking it's your fault.  


Kesh, Thorntangle, Samnell-- thank you for the kind words.

fett527, Horacio-- welcome.  It gets better (or worse depending on your p.o.v).


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## Barastrondo

(contact) said:
			
		

> *I'm glad to know that my drawing sparked some compassion in your otherwise cold and merciless heart.*




Well, I _am_ a DM.  (rimshot)

In all seriousness, though, thanks for taking the time to illustrate this story; heck, for reposting at all. It's great to see the characters (in their final moments, no less) as you guys saw them, without having to interrupt the story's pace with drawn-out physical descriptions. It adds that extra serving of pathos to the already teeming banquet of carnage and black humor.


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## Rune

Woohoo!  It's back!  And illustrated!

Woot!


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## Citizen Mane

> _Originally posted by (contact)_
> *Gravy also admonishes the PCs: "Do not take the back door into the temple". Whatever, little buddy. Hey, thanks for the biscuits and pork chops.*




This is great; now I can add another story hour to the four or five I'm following.  The narration, with the little snide comments, totally kills me.  Good stuff, (contact).  

Best,
tKL


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## (contact)

*Chapter 4-- WTF, nobody dies?*

*Four:  To the Darkest Ground Comes a Light.
(or, "Say hello to my little friend!")*

Overall, the party has rooted out the nefarious evil plaguing the Inn at Hommlet, renamed the Inn, cleared out the moathouse, put to the sword the Prazrael cultists lurking there, and got their collective ass kicked in an ambush in Knulb.  After beating (but not killing) Faust, and armed with a pair of his magic items, the party makes their first foray into the Temple itself:

After discovering the top level to be empty, our Keystone Adventurers explore a well leading down into the depths of the dungeon.  Lucius and Gnomishic scout down the well, and true to form try to assassinate the high-level priest waiting below.  The priest's familiar (an imp) causes a moment of concern, but is led astray by Gnomishic's clever use of a Cherubic illusion.  But no illusion can help Lucius, as his friends came rappelling down the rope tied to his waist (!), sending him crashing to his near-death below.  Only blind luck saves him from certain death in his very first encounter.

*Illustration*: No illusion can help Lucius, as his friends come rappelling down the rope tied to his waist . . .

Other PCs fall into the well, some more gracefully than others (Suhe being a prime example of the graceful faction).  Eventually, and with 3 of their number broken, bleeding and unconscious, the PCs manage to kill the cleric of Iuz, a fifth level prelate by the name of Romag.  Adding insult to injury, the victors forget to loot the room, ignoring obvious magical objects on an evil altar, and run like all of the Abyss is chasing them.

The second assault on the Temple Dungeons is a much more proficient affair, however.  Using sound dungeon-delving strategies, the PCs find a +3 crossbow bolt during a careful room search (which Lucius has _blessed_ by Canon Turgeon and vows to use to assassinate an Iuzian priest).  

A subsequent encounter with a few gnolls turns into an all-out brawl in which the party fights some 19 gnolls, 4 flinds, 11 hyenas, and a pair of bugbears who must have been slumming. Bloody but victorious, our heroes return to the surface, dripping with gnoll gore and loot! The party snatches some treasure, and rescues 8 prisoners, four of whom have some soldiering experience and agree to stay on as men-at-arms. 

Unfortunately, these men's levels totaled equal Little-Leaf's charisma bonus:  zero.  But hey, warm bodies . . . 

As the party returns to the surface, Lucius and Gnomishic remain in the gnoll lair, disguising themselves as corpses in order to gather intelligence on the response-time to battles in the Temple Dungeon.  To their surprise (and relief!), only a wandering ogre with indigestion and a few elite orcs (wearing Iuz-branded mail, carrying fine weapons, and all built like Jesse 'the Body' Ventura) show up, looking surprised to see the carnage.

The next day, the party assaults the tower in the NE corner of the Temple surface compound, getting sliced into ribbons by the set-up.  A well placed _stinking cloud_ by Tisha, along with a blast from her _wand of lightning_ (thanks, Heydricus!) tips the scales, and Rose and Lucius get to have a field day murdering the bandits left helpless by the _stinking cloud_.  

Discovering that a secret passage in the tower leads to a farmhouse near Knulb, the party moves in, and makes the tower their base of operations.  Six more men at arms sent by the Nine Sisters (okay, so the Iuzian forces killed one of them, they're still called the Nine Sisters!) show up, and our heroes set about fortifying their new base-camp.


----------



## Thorntangle

*Re: Chapter 4-- WTF, nobody dies?*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *...our Keystone Adventurers explore a well...*



I also love the snide and witty comments. One of my favorite sections so far has been the Priest of St.Cuthbert presiding over the funeral of Pippin. "...and he never stole a thing in his life."


----------



## Rel

I just wanted to comment that this Story Hour thread is the first one that I read after finding ENWorld.  So now I'm an addict of course.

Seriously, one of the best ever SH threads.

(contact) sez - "The first taste is free."


----------



## (contact)

*Mack, mack, mack.*

*Bonus Illustration*:  As the party returns to the surface, Lucius and Gnomishic remain in the gnoll lair, disguising themselves as corpses in order to gather intelligence.


Hey, folks-- I started a thread on the main boards about this Story Hour.

I used some of y'all's quotes from this thread to help reluctant folks realize how much fun they'll have in this thread, but if y'all would like to go chime in your $.02 and bump that adver-thread, I'd appreciate it.

Hopefully, we'll get a couple new pairs of eyes in the StoryHour forum for this go-'round of the TOEE2, and they'll realize how many kick-ass stories there are here, and stick around.

That way Horatio will have even more SH-junkies to steal hubcaps with.  

The thread is here.


----------



## Nail

*Re: Mack, mack, mack.*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Hopefully, we'll get a couple new pairs of eyes in the StoryHour forum for this go-'round of the TOEE2, and they'll realize how many kick-ass stories there are here, and stick around.
> 
> That way Horatio will have even more SH-junkies to steal hubcaps with.  *




Hmmm....how'd I miss this one th' first time 'round?  Good stuff, (contact).  Snide comments much appreciated.  Is it possible to list which (if any) ENBoard members played which character(s).  You've obviously played....quite a few.


----------



## 2WS-Steve

Just wanted to say great story hour. It's a terrific reminder of how much fun dungeon crawling can be.


----------



## (contact)

*Re: Re: Mack, mack, mack.*

Thanks for the kind words, y'all.  I'm glad you're sharing some of the fun we had playing it.  The actual game was dark, dark, dark (as you'll soon see, things get much worse), but the logs turned out funny.  We were such dumbasses, it was hard not to make fun of the stupid ish we decided to do.



			
				Nail said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Is it possible to list which (if any) ENBoard members played which character(s).  You've obviously played....quite a few. *




I am the only player from this game that posts here at the ENBoards.  When the logs are completed, I'll put up a list of who played whom.


----------



## 2WS-Steve

One other nice feature of the story hours is that they remind me that half the fun of the game is reflecting on what happened after the session. For me it's always after the night has ended that I go back and start filling in the details, making it feel more like a story.

Also, it's only after the session is over that I realise how cool it was when my character had his armor torn off him by a Bebilith and then his body shredded by a crowd of fiends


----------



## Samnell

*Re: Chapter 4-- WTF, nobody dies?*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> But no illusion can help Lucius, as his friends came rappelling down the rope tied to his waist (!), sending him crashing to his near-death below.  Only blind luck saves him from certain death in his very first encounter.




I have to wonder what you guys were thinking. "Lucius just climbed down with this rope around his waist, let's all slide down it. Whee!"

Of course having seen fallen paladins fall on and nearly kill druids on their way to the melee, I suppose I shouldn't call too much attention to myself.


----------



## (contact)

Hey man, ask those other dumbasses.  I was playing Lucius.


----------



## Samnell

I would ask those other dumbasses, but you said none of them read the boards.


----------



## (contact)

Call them at home: 415-555-1212.


----------



## bertman4

Okay, THAT was hilarious! Is that a real number? I'm tempted to try but it's late. Oh wait, it's SF number. Nope. It's 10:30PM already.

Bertman


----------



## rackabello

*(contact) vs. The Blob*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *
> ...Fighting in the streets becomes a problem, and sporadic looting breaks out.  This added element of unrest is more than the Lord of Knulb can take, and he has Sir Willam arrested, provoking viscous riots....
> *



Sir William the Oozemaster?  who'da thunk it?
(Just poking gentle fun, (contact).  This little typo caught my eye when I read the compiled version of this tale, and I thought you might want to edit it.)

Just as entertaining as the first time, by the way, and the battlefield portraiture makes it all the more fun.  High fantasy and low tricks, shining heroism and dark comedy, long odds and short PC lifespans....The serialized homebrew RttoEE will be a nightly ritual for me.

By the way, Bertman, go ahead and call the number (contact) posted, or better yet, substitute your local area code for 415.  You'll get pretty much the same result


----------



## (contact)

It's not a typo-- it's foreshadowing.  You'll see.


----------



## (contact)

*Five:  Those Who Do Not Learn From the Mistakes of the Past . . .
(or, Which one of us is writing down the advice from NPCs?)*

Searching the Tower, and it's escape tunnel, the PCs find a secret passage leading into the depths of the Temple dungeon.  Bravely forgetting Gravy's admonition to "NEVER adventure beneath a level you haven't cleared", our heroes pop the secret door and troop bravely into the dungeon.  They determine that a seemingly collapsed ceiling is in fact an illusion, covering a pit lined with rusty spikes!

A wall of fire blocking the corridor just beyond the pit also proves to be an illusion.  The PCs slip past it, but not before Lucius voices his concern.  He asks Gnomishic what sort of power-level would a mage have to be at if he could make permanent illusions.  Gnomishic assures him that it's not that impressive of a trick.  Lucius is unconvinced, and suggests that the party might not want to tangle with whatever is that can make those illusions.  In true dungeoneering fashion, his objections are shouted down, and the elves call him a pussy.  Properly admonished, Lucius plans for an opportunity to kill Little Leaf, and the party moves on.

Scouting ahead, Little Leaf, Gnomishic and Lucius spot an illusionary Basilisk.  Little Leaf and Gnomishic fail saves, and think they are petrified.  Lucius recognizes the illusion, but before he can try to save his associates, he spots two human rogues attempting to hide in the shadows, and worse yet, a diabolical figure lurking behind an illusionary wall.  The figure is man-sized, covered in spikes, has a barbed tail, lots of sharp teeth, and carries a pitchfork!  Lucius sneaks back to the party and manages to mutter:  "Fiend.  Run!"

The group won't hear of it, and in a module riddled with tough fights and seemingly hopeless situations, our group puts their foot in it big time.  A few levels over their heads, they take on  4 Spinagons and 2 human Rogues, 5th and 1st level.  

The fiends use their _suggestion_ and _charm person_ powers to quickly turn the party against one another.   Heydricus is the first to succumb, and he is set upon by the wood elves who in turn are attacked by Rose.  Meanwhile, Lucius, Gnomishic, Isuld and Tisha are trying to hold up the party's end of the fight.  Fortunately, Lucius keeps making his willpower saves, and Tisha's _wand of lightning_ has yet to run out of charges.  When the smoke clears, one fiend escapes, and Gnomishic lies dead. The party cashes in, loot wise, with a few magic items to boot.

*Illustration*:  Gnomishic versus the personification of universal evil.  (Long odds on the evil).

Suhi is traumatized by the death of his Gnome friend, and abandons his carefree bardic life to focus more fully on his staff and hand fighting skills.  "_WhhooooaaaAAAahhhh_".  A monk without a monastery.  The Wood Elves also retreat to their forest sanctuary, to heal psychic wounds.  They promise to return when they are ready.


----------



## Plane Sailing

(Contact), I don't want all the adulation to go to your head - but your illustrations are really excellent... some of the best that I've seen. 

Great idea to add them to the storyhour - it means that all the old guard will read the whole thing again. It's a bit like reissuing vinyl as CDs...

or not


----------



## fett527

(contact) said:
			
		

> *Properly admonished, Lucius plans for an opportunity to kill Little Leaf, and the party moves on. *




OOOHHH!!  Inner-party conflict!  Maybe a little poison for the elf?  (Remember, first time reader so no spoilers please!)


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Those of you who read my story hour, Nail and others, and are just now reading this one-- this, THIS is what got me started. 

It was like a 16-gauge shot of adrenaline to this writer's heart. 

Lucius is Wulf's role model... Hope that's not a spoiler.


Wulf


----------



## fett527

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> Lucius is Wulf's role model... Hope that's not a spoiler.*




Nope it's not.  which means I should try and read your story hour apparently.


----------



## Plane Sailing

Lucius was also the role model for my story hour too! Er, yeah! that's right!


----------



## Nail

fett527 said:
			
		

> *.....which means I should try and read your [Wulf's] story hour apparently. *




Another convert!  Egads!  When will th' madness end?



> _Originally posted by Wulf Ratbane_
> *It was like a 16-gauge shot of adrenaline to this writer's heart. *



Ouch.     ...The parts I like most about (cntxt)'s stuff is how accurately they show how "typical players" go about their business: _Charge in, Kill what you can, figure out the weenie-@ss plots and clues later._

Must....kill.....bad-guys!


----------



## (contact)

Conductor: "Destination?"
Passenger: "Early Grave."
Conductor: "That's Hommlet on this line." 

---------

Unfortunately (or fortunately), the elves kept flitting away into the forest before Lucius got a chance to murder them, but that's exactly what he meant to do. 

*A little backstory*:

Lucius is a LE assassin (2e-3e hybrid). He grew up in refugee camps, having first fled Geoff with his mother and abusive father, ending up in the Shieldlands. It was there he (long story for another time) came to understand the *finality* of death, and murder's ability to 'solve problems'.  Specifically the one his mother was having with his father.

After fleeing the Shieldlands, he grew up near Knulb, and started 'work' for the Nine Sisters at a young age.  It was in Knulb that he became fanatically devoted to the doctrines of St. Cuthbert. The Cuthbertians recruited heavily out of the refugee camps, and Lucius was a sucker for their doctrine of struggle against Iuz.

He double-tithes, and always asks for Canon Turgeon's advice. As Canon Turgeon, along with Sister Keriann (we'll meet her soon, she's also a Cuthbertian cleric) represent the Lawful Good 'voice of reason', they manage to keep Lucius in line. 

It made for some damn fun role-play, with a LG and a LE both professing devotion to the same church doctrine, but twisting it to their own ethos. Of course, in the end, Lucius would always humbly defer to the Canon. His defrence (bordering on obsequiousness) was also generally hilarious, because everyone else *despised* the Canon. So Lucius would show up with 'instructions' from the Canon, and try to press that agenda. Over the course of days, those 'instructions' would degrade, becoming more and more evil. 

Day 1: 
Lucius: "The Canon says we should ask those guys if they saw anything." 

Party: "F*** the Canon. Shut up, Lucius." 

Day 2: 
Lucius: "The Canon said we should interrogate those guys." 

Party: "F*** the Canon. Shut up, Lucius." 

Day 3: 
Lucius: "The Canon wants me to capture those bastards and cut them until they talk." 

Party: "We'd better get back into the dungeon now." 

Lucius was very strongly of the belief that total unity is the only means through which the small group could oppose the Temple. So while he thought the party was handling the politics all wrong, he sublimated his opinion (like a proper fascist) into the party’s decision. Plus, he never really got the free time to go on a killing spree, although he certainly meant to.

Fun PC. Too bad about the whole . . . um. . . well, you'll have to read on!


----------



## Hammerhead

Lucius was so cool. Farewell, Lucius. :-(

Among the many dead, especially in the _______ where he ______ and the elves __________.


----------



## (contact)

*Six:  Swords Shining and Spells Streaking By.
(or, "It's easy, you just don't lead 'em as much . . .")*

While the party has been busy getting beat on, both in the temple and in barroom brawls, the Canon has put out a call for assistance to his superiors.  They responded by sending him Sister Keriann Croller ("It's Keri_ANN_!") a priestess of St. Cuthbert, and zealous Smiter of Evil.

The characters barely have time to return to the surface and heal up before one of their guards reports an armed band of orcs heading toward the tower!  The PCs spring to action, weapons bared but without spells. An opening volley of missile fire takes the Orcs by surprise, and as Heydricus throws open the tower door to ready himself for the melee, the orc's leader shouts, "You!".  Heydricus recognizes the voice, although the form has changed:  Faust is back.

A furious melee ensues.  The orcs are _tough_, and just outside of the tower doorway the party has their hands full.  Isuld, following the lead of her dead mentor, charges to face Faust and his henchorcs mano-y-mucho.  She is surrounded, and things look grim.  But once Faust takes a blast from his former _wand o' lightning_, he realizes Tisha is the woman he really wants to kill.  

And he would have, but  Isuld (who hasn't hit him yet,) crits him with her attack of opportunity as he charges Tisha.  The party is victorious, Faust is slain, and no PCs died.  It's a good day.  During the fight, one of the men-at-arms, Ywain, (known as Urin), is so heroic, that he spontaneously gains a class:  Urin becomes a first-level Fighter.  

When the Animating Spirit leaves the body of Faust, the PCs see his true form:  some sort of black-skinned humanoid with small horns and white hair, scaly skin and red eyes.  A demon, to be sure.  The orcs all wear holy symbols of Iuz.

Flushed with their revenge on Faust, the party troops back through the secret entrance.  They find a  nasty room  filled with statues of monsters that start coming to life.  The party fights a Gauth Beholder who promptly _feebleminds_ Lucius and bites off the head of Isuld, trapping the party in the entrance corridor and blasting them with alternating _lightning bolts_ and _cones of cold_.  The party finally defeats the beast only to see a manticore and a gargoyle animate.  The party decides to run, and leave the statues of a fire giant, a wight, a lich, a chasmae, and a werewolf alone.  Fortunately, Lucius' _feeblemind_ was not permanent, and despite the drool stains on his favorite adventuring shirt, he is none the worse for wear.  Isuld's decapitation, however, is permanent, and a shrine is raised for her in Kelanen's Rest, the Inn now owned by Heydricus.

The party changes their minds about the wisdom of using 'the back door', and Lucius suggests that they should fence the art objects (using a reliable source he knows) and try to find a buyer for the piles of weapons and armor taken from the battles in the moathouse and temple.  


*"When it comes to dirty-deals, dirty dealers come to Knulb".  *

While not a slogan promoted by the Knulb Chamber of Commerce, it pretty well sums up the place.  Lucius facilitates the sale of dungeon treasure through the Nine Sisters, but when it comes time to sell weapons and armor, he decides to go through other avenues.  A contact by the name of Locke in the Thieves' Guild arranges a meeting with a buyer.  

The buy takes place at the Waterside Inn, a den of iniquity if one ever was the backdrop for a D&D encounter.  Lucius and Heydricus sit alone, acting as the representatives for the rest of the party, who are surreptitiously drinking around a table on the balcony.

Lucius smells a set-up, so he begins to bribe any of the Inn's patrons who look like they can fight.  He promises each of them 100gp to join the PCs if a fight should occur, and drinks on him for the rest of the evening if one doesn't.  He convinces a round dozen blackhearts, scoundrels, drunks and ne'er-do-wells to join the cause.

The buyer shows up with a couple of heavily armored knight-types trying to look inconspicuous, yet still cover the room.  Who should the buyer be but Sir Willam himself!  Lucius negotiates in good faith, but tells Willam that he will have to discuss the price with the rest of his group.  Willam, of course, remembers Heydricus from Hommlet.

The PCs have a brief debate about whether to sell Willam the arms, call the deal off, or try to arrest the fugitive Knight in the name of  Lord Henri.  Lucius votes for killing him.  Heydricus confronts Sir Willam and orders him to lay down his arms and surrender to the rightful authority of Lord Henri.  Sir Willam calmly replies that Heydricus and the party are no match for him, and they will either finish the deal, or die.  Lucius believes him.

To no one's surprise, the stare-down ends in a bloody melee.  Sir Willam and his two bodyguards do indeed prove to be heavily armed and armored.  To add to the danger, the rogues hired to help the party split 50/50 as to which side they're on!  And worst of all, the owner of the Waterside, Dick Rentch (!  Hey, that's his name - - it's in the module), and his Thieves' Guild members posing as bar workers jump in against the PCs!  

The resulting bar-brawl is long, drawn out, and deadly.  Locke backstabs Lucius, mortally wounding him and somewhat unnecessarily promising the dying PC: "You'll never work in this town again!"  Only healing magic keeps Lucius from death's door.  The hired bar patrons do not fare so well, however, and die to the last man.  The Guild Members flee, but Sir Willam and his men are not so lucky.  As Sir Willam's mortal remains melt into a puddle of foul, acidic ooze, his demonic nature reveals itself.  (Sir Willam was a maurezhi Tanar'rai, as well as a 7th level fighter, and he was protected by a 4th level fighter and 2 3rd level fighters, plus a half-dozen Rogues of indefinite levels.)  The party was very lucky to prevail.

*Illustration*:Locke backstabs Lucius, mortally wounding him and somewhat unnecessarily promising the dying PC: "You'll never work in this town again!"


_edit: added Keriann's portrait_


----------



## (contact)

*Original Character Portraits for the TOEE2*

I forgot that I already have character portraits for several of the TOEE2 characters online.  When the character's name is first mentioned, I will link to the appropriate page.  I made the portraits directly onto the character sheet as the game progressed.  Then the character would die, I'd roll up a new one, and do another drawing.

Little Leaf, noone's favorite xenophobe.

Tisha, doomed to die for being Way To Cool.

Keriann Croller, a respectable nun definately not named after filthy dungeon vermin.


----------



## fett527

Hammerhead said:
			
		

> *Lucius was so cool. Farewell, Lucius. :-(
> 
> Among the many dead, especially in the _______ where he ______ and the elves __________. *




So it's obvious I shouldn't get too attached to any one character in this story hour.  




> Only healing magic keeps Lucius from death's door.



 This means he's still alive for a little while longer.

I appreciate the background on Lucius though.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman

*starts banging on the table*

MORE! MORE! MORE!

Me like.


----------



## Flash

*Re: Chapter 4-- WTF, nobody dies?*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Four:  To the Darkest Ground Comes a Light.
> (or, "Say hello to my little friend!")
> 
> Unfortunately, these men's levels totaled equal Little-Leaf's charisma bonus:  zero.  But hey, warm bodies . . .
> 
> *




Please more!!! I can't stop laughing and reading!!!


----------



## Lazybones

*Re: Re: Chapter 4-- WTF, nobody dies?*



			
				Flash said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Please more!!! I can't stop laughing and reading!!! *




Oh, it gets better....


----------



## (contact)

*Lucky Seven*

*Seven:  The Calm Before the Storm
(or, This doesn’t look so bad!  Try that door.)*


Sir Willam a demon!  The party rushes to the Lady Marie to report the shocking news.  She is shocked, and surprised.  She promises to inform her husband at once.

After briefing the Lady, the PCs strategize.  Lucius advocates hunting down Locke, Dick Rentch and any witnesses involved in the Waterside fight, but the party won’t hear of it.  After all the grueling town play, the group decides to duck back into the dungeons beneath the ToEE for a little R&R.  They troop into the 1st level (instead of the ‘back door’ 3rd level), which of course, is their rightful place, as their average character level is 4.  They hit upon the lair of a few human bandit-types, and after having adventured over their heads, the following fight feels nice and casual.  A talkative prisoner mentions that the bandit leader is named X’im.

They move on, and find themselves in a strange room.  Bones litter the floor to the depth of two feet, the grisly remains of some titanic battle.  The rogues hear voices from around a corner, and spy several goblins and dire wolves arguing amongst themselves.  The party determines to charge the goblins, and hopefully win the surprise.

The bones hinder movement, however, and the party barely manages to make it halfway to the corner when the Goblins come blazing out mounted on their wolves, attacking with crossbows and lances.  The wolves charge past the characters, biting as they go, with their riders adding lance-thrusts to make things worse.  The PCs, mired in bones, are forced onto the defensive, hoping for counterattacks with missile weapons.

As the brawl slowly moves toward the cleared area, Tisha is the first to see a pair of Ogres emerging from open doorways.  She blasts one with an _Aganazzar’s scorcher_, but cannot survive his reply.  The Ogres’ clubs are small trees, and in short order, Suhi is also killed.

*Illustration*: Tisha finally finds an admirer just seconds after her death.

The PCs sorrowfully return to Hommlet to bury the body of their companions, only to find that Kelanen’s Rest has been burned to the ground.  It seems that word had spread around the  refugee camps in Knulb that the PCs were responsible for Sir Willam’s death.  The night before, while the PCs were gleefully beating on bandits in the Temple, a mob of Shieldlanders came to Hommlet and set the Inn ablaze.

Several of the Shieldlanders were captured before the mob was driven off, and Lucius sets to work on one of them.  After a rather lengthy ‘session’ during which he wrests forth the names of the civic leaders in the refugee camps, he proposes a killing spree:  A quick, and murderous foray into the refugee camps to repair the party’s reputation as people not to be trifled with.  

The party shoots this down.


----------



## fett527

*Re: Lucky Seven*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> The party shoots this down.




Man, no respect for the rogue.


----------



## Irda Ranger

*Re: Lucky Seven*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *A quick, and murderous foray into the refugee camps to repair the party’s reputation as people not to be trifled with.*




Buttercup: "Who are you?"

The Man in Black: "I am no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know."


Woot!!!


----------



## Zaruthustran

*Re: Lucky Seven*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Seven:  The Calm Before the Storm
> 
> 
> They troop into the 1st level (instead of the ‘back door’ 3rd level), which of course, is their rightful place, as their average character level is 4.  *




I love how The Calm Before the Storm resulted in 2 PC deaths. That's the _calm_.

So, the average character level is 4. Any chance we can get stats for the characters? Or, at least, a few of them?

-z, who thinks this story is even better the 2nd time around.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Lucky Seven*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *A quick, and murderous foray into the refugee camps to repair the party’s reputation as people not to be trifled with.*




That's it. That right there. Ohhh, yeah.

Favorite line of the story.

I don't remember that comma in there before... Reads better without it, you know...


Wulf


----------



## (contact)

*!*

You guys are funny.  Lucius wanted to murder all of the wise elders, respected businessmen and matron mothers in the refugee camps in order to get pay back for the Inn and the Waterside Affair!

Wulf-- you're so right.


----------



## (contact)

*Re: Re: Lucky Seven*



			
				Zaruthustran said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I love how The Calm Before the Storm resulted in 2 PC deaths. That's the calm.
> 
> So, the average character level is 4. Any chance we can get stats for the characters? Or, at least, a few of them?
> *




And it _is_ the calm, too!  Things start really getting intense from here on out.

As far as their stats, Characters who survived the events of the TOEE2 (and the inevitable Iuzian reprisals in the Liberation of Tenh) have their stats in the LoT rogue's gallery thread.  

*Spoiler Warning*:  That thread will tip you off as to who makes it and who doesn't.  Half the fun of reading these logs is rooting against the long odds for your favorite PC!

-----

*I'm taking the weekend off, so no more updates until Monday.  Have a good weekend, and I hope noone's character dies.*


----------



## Joshua Randall

*Re: Lucky Seven*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *They troop into the 1st level (instead of the ‘back door’ 3rd level), which of course, is their rightful place, as their average character level is 4. *




This is actually one of the funniest and truest D&D-related quotes I've ever read.


----------



## LightPhoenix

I so loved Lucius the first time though... mwahaha, what happens to him eventually is great too!!!


----------



## Lazybones

(contact) said:
			
		

> *Yeah, let's do a daily serial update, what do you say?*




*looks at calendar*

*cough* Update *cough*


----------



## incognito

Yep, this thread is the real thing - of course this is coming from a guy who said he'd read (contact)'s  "two blade's of grass in a field, talking" story hour if it was posted...

Question.

How in gods name do several L4 PCs survive a L7 fighter, a L4 fighter, an L2 fighter, and various and sundry Rogues with no casualties, then walk into level one of the dungeon, and get 2 PCs popped by stinkin' ogres and goblins?

Those where either red hot dice in the tavern, or eeeeevil dice in level 1 of the temple.


----------



## madriel

I first read this on wsmith's old site last summer.  I'm happy to see it again.  I miss Tisha and Lucius.  They were so cool.


----------



## littlejohn

I finally had some free time. Great work (contact). I liked the story the first time, but it's yummier with the illustrations.

You need to delete some Hotmail, btw.


----------



## (contact)

Check your email, littlejohn.  (And you should make some drawings of this story hour, too!  Do a portrait of Heydricus or Prisantha, or illustrate one of the scenes!)

Thanks for the kind words, everyone-- one of my best friends was in town with Ming + FS, so I've been off-line all weekend.  Look for an update this evening.



> How in gods name do several L4 PCs survive a L7 fighter, a L4 fighter, an L2 fighter, and various and sundry Rogues with no casualties, then walk into level one of the dungeon, and get 2 PCs popped by stinkin' ogres and goblins?




In the tower fight, we had the better position-- remember how badly the fight there went for your PCs when you played the original TOEE?  This time, it was Faust and his elites assaulting us.  Of course, we also did have fantastic luck as Esril (or was it Isuld?) critted Faust on an A.O.O. after missing him six rounds in a row.

Plus, we had magic items that would normally be "above our station" using the standard 3e baseline-- a _wand of lightning bolts_ for example.  I don't think any of the wizards in the party could even cast _lightning bolt_ at the time, but we had about 15 of them to spread around, thanks to that Faust, and Heydricus' quick thinking.

In the ogre fight, we were in a large room that was so littered with bones as to reduce our movement to 1/2.  Tisha and Suhi got ahead of the party, as we were trying to put the goblins in a pincer maneuver.  So when the ogres opened their doors, Isuld was stranded without her best spells, and got clubbed to death right away.  Suhi showed up too late to save her, but early enough to get gang-jumped by the ogres.

We came, we saw, we buried our dead.


----------



## ashockney

More!!!  More!!!


----------



## A2Z

/taps foot

I thought we were going to see daily updates. Do we really have to chain you to your computer?


----------



## Mathew_Freeman

BUMP

...with a reminder to keep posting updates please!


----------



## (contact)

My apologies for the delay.  Unfortunately my life doesn't think that I should have hours of freetime each day, so I've been delaying my posts until I could get some illustration time, but rather than hold up the party, we'll just go sans illustrations for now, OK?

Read on . . . and play more D&D!


----------



## Rackhir

(contact) said:
			
		

> *My apologies for the delay.  Unfortunately my life doesn't think that I should have hours of freetime each day, so I've been delaying my posts until I could get some illustration time, but rather than hold up the party, we'll just go sans illustrations for now, OK?
> 
> Read on . . . and play more D&D! *




You can always go back and edit the links in later. I think everyone is happy just to get the story, the illustrations are just the icing on the cake.


----------



## fett527

*YES!*

Must...have...cake!


----------



## (contact)

*The moral of the story is "stay out of the underwear drawer".*

*Eight:  What Mirror Shall Not Prove the Lie?
(or, "Et tu, Bitchae?")*

As the group is sifting through the wreckage of Kelanen's Rest, a new companion arrives.  A high-born Lady of Mitrik.  From the court of Lady Anne herself comes Lady Amyryth, a Paladin and swordswoman, sent to congratulate the party on their victory over Sir Willam, and aid them in all future endeavors.  

Further, Heydricus recruits a wandering mystic by the name of Ren Qi to join the group.  Ren Qi, an elven lady of indeterminate age serenely accepts the challenge set before her.

Lady Amyryth has gifts for Lord Henri and Lady Marie, from Anne of Mitrik.  The party decides this would be a good opportunity to do a little investigative work and determine who the leak is in Henri's court.  After Lucius crafts disguises for Rose, Ren Qi, and himself (the three PCs that have never shown face in Henri's court), Amyryth presents herself to the Lord of Knulb.  Lucius is disguised as Amyryth's valet, and the other two are playing ladies-in-waiting.

The four PCs discover immediately that there are spy-holes throughout the Court, a bit strange for the home of a Paladin, but not entirely unheard of. The PCs craft a plan to use the banquet as an excuse to search Lady Marie's room.  Their search reveals a secret door leading to a  'behind the scenes' passage that allows a view of all the guests' rooms.  When a quick search turns up nothing further, the PCs leave the passage to return to their appointed places at the feast.  Hurrying back to his role as a squire, Neither Lucius nor his 'master' Lady Amyryth are present when Rose and Ren Qi decide to go back to Marie's room.

They search the bed and find a hidden dagger that seems otherworldly and disturbingly vile.  Startled by the voices of Marie's ladies-in-waiting entering the antechamber, Ren Qi's response is to search the wardrobe.  The ladies-in-waiting open the door to find Ren Qi and Rose up to their elbows in the Lady's unmentionables.

Just as Lucius was really starting to get the creeps from the dirty looks Marie kept giving him, the banquet is disturbed by the frantic shrieking of five women.  "Thief!  Thief!  Oh, help us!  Thieves in the Lady's room!"  The Lord looks embarrassed, and rises to investigate.  The entire gathering follows him.  Marie whispers malevolently directly into Lucius' mind:  "I'll get you for this, Gutter Rat".  Caught red-handed, completely unarmed, and surrounded by men-at-arms and Knights, the PCs realize that the Lord's beautiful young wife is the leak.

Henri angrily confronts the PCs with a tone of righteous indignation (as only a Paladin can).  The party spits back their accusations about Marie.  Marie calls for a champion to defend her honor.  Two of the Lord's Paladins, however, back the PCs, and accuse Marie of being a seductress, and Henri of being a cuckold.  Obviously, there has been some dissent in the Manor.

Lady Amyryth demonstrates her Paladin abilities, and challenges Henri to do the same.  Henri, surprisingly enough, refuses.  It comes clear that Henri and his court are Fallen Knights.  The Lord's men fall upon the unarmed PCs and their Paladin allies, but the outcome is clear from the beginning.  Both Paladins are swiftly rendered unconscious.  Lucius flees, running deeper into the Lord's Manse, followed by Ren Qi.  After a few rounds of ineffectual fighting, Rose surrenders, as does Lady Amyryth.

A desperate manhunt ensues, with the two Rogues evading their pursuers long enough to arm themselves.  Ren Qi drinks her _potion of invisibility_ and slips weapons to her companions.  Some clever distractions provide the PCs with an avenue of flight, and they take it, only to be met at the door by a _teleporting_ Lady Marie, who reveals her true form:  A beautiful woman of demonic visage, bat wings protruding from her back..  A succubus.  

The fleeing PCs rush past the Lady, all save Amyryth, who cannot back down from a fight with a demon.  Amyryth is cut down by Marie's men-at-arms.

The party splits up outside the Manor, and flees into the dubious safety of Knulb, which, they realize with a sinking dread, is wrapped quite snugly around Marie's little finger.  Ren Qi and Rose narrowly avoid capture, making their way into the woods.  Lucius heads to the Orphanage, run by Priests of St. Cuthbert and Pelor, to appeal for aid.  He is immediately followed by the Lord Henri, and the remaining Knulb militia.

As the confused High Priestess tries to sort out the truth, Lord Henri and his men attack.  The battle is pitched, and just as Henri seems to have won the day, a rag-tag army of Shieldlanders surrounds the orphanage.  Directed by the Thieves' Guild, the refugees enter the fray and butcher the Lord of Knulb.

Lucius, never one to stand on honor, tries to sneak out the back way, only to spot a sizeable force of Rogues and wererats (and were-rogues!) slipping up to the Orphanage.  He flees, but not before he witnesses their murderous intent.  

That night, Knulb is burned to the ground by the forces of Evil.  Marie and her demonic brethren are victorious.


----------



## Nail

*Re: The moral of the story is "stay out of the underwear drawer".*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Eight:  What Mirror Shall Not Prove the Lie?
> (or, "Et tu, Bitchae?")
> 
> ....That night, Knulb is burned to the ground by the forces of Evil.  Marie and her demonic brethren are victorious. *




Yay! The bad guys are victo....what?  Hey, wait a minute.......


----------



## Thorntangle

*Re: The moral of the story is "stay out of the underwear drawer".*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *The ladies-in-waiting open the door to find Ren Qi and Rose up to their elbows in the Lady's unmentionables.
> 
> That night, Knulb is burned to the ground by the forces of Evil.  Marie and her demonic brethren are victorious. *



The term "Keystone Adventurers" from a previous episode springs back to mind. I had forgotten how funny the antics of well-meaning players with no regard for their character's/community's safety can be.


----------



## (contact)

*Okay, plan B.  Kill everything, then move on.*

*Nine:  Alone and Outnumbered, Only the Will to War Remains.
(or, If you thought you had it bad before . . .)*

Sneaking around Knulb, and sheltered from Marie's wrath by his _amulet of proof against detection and location_, Lucius is discouraged and directionless.  He feels the game has been lost, and if the party doesn't agree with his methods, he'll go on a killing spree all by himself.  In his first order of business, he burns the Waterside in revenge for the Orphanage.  

Through kind fortune, Lucius chances across another woman from Lady Anne's court.  Anne, through magical means, was aware of Amyryth's death, and _teleported_ one of her personal bodyguards to investigate.  Daniere is welcomed, albeit rather wearily, by the despondent Rogue.  The duo overhear a rumor that the Shieldlanders plan to attack Verbobonc.  They manage to assassinate Dick Rentch before they are forced to flee the burning town.

Returning to the tower to regroup, the two brief their companions on the night's happenings.  Shortly thereafter, the PCs' guards warn of a large band of Orcs, humans and worse preparing to assault their base.  Irony rears its ugly head, when the PCs are forced to retreat into the only safe place left to them:  the backdoor into the Temple of Elemental Evil.

After a sleepless night of paranoid watching, the PCs flee to Hommlet, only to discover that the Cannon was called into council by the Lady Marie the night before, and has gone missing.  Lucius cynically informs Calmiir that he should just bury the coffin, as he won't find the body.  The PCs council with Andras, and set about fortifying the town against looters from Knulb.  Fortunately, _fireballs_ do tend to discourage angry mobs, and other than the burning of outlying farmhouses, Hommlet passes the night relatively unscathed.  What few orphans and Good folk survived the Night Knulb Burned find their way to Hommlet.

Aelniir stirs restlessly in his shallow grave, as his initial call to arm all able bodied Hommlet Folk against the growing Evil is finally heeded.

The next morning, the heroes travel to Knulb to assess the damage.  The town is mostly burned, and what little remains is being picked over by members of Knulb's Thieves' Guild, the only power group left in town.  The party jumps a small gang of thieves, and after questioning a captive determines the following:  the Shieldlanders have indeed been marched on Verbobonc, and the Thieves' Guild is almost entirely composed of lycanthropic rogues.  Wererats, to be exact.


----------



## SolidSnake

*Re: Okay, plan B.  Kill everything, then move on.*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> Lucius is discouraged and directionless.  He feels the game has been lost, and if the party doesn't agree with his methods, he'll go on a killing spree all by himself.  In his first order of business, he burns the Waterside in revenge for the Orphanage.




This is exactly why Lucius is my favorite character in this game.  After having read this story hour entirely, I purposefully modeled a character after this man and had one of the funnest times roleplaying through Undermountain...

This campaign really rejuvinated my love for the game.  Encore!


----------



## Joshua Randall

(contact) said:
			
		

> *... Lucius is discouraged and directionless. He feels the game has been lost, and if the party doesn't agree with his methods, he'll go on a killing spree all by himself.*




Yeah! _*Hell yeah!*_ Whip out that runesword and let Stormbringer feast on the souls of your enemies. Hack people apart until you're drunk with power, then ride off leaving a charnelhouse in your wake.

Oh wait. This isn't the Elric of Melnibone story hour? Er, sorry. My mistake. 

All joking aside, this is great stuff. I like that the party is spending only about 50% of its time dungeon-crawling, and the other 50% of its time getting involved in the local plots. Great job, (contact)!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: The moral of the story is "stay out of the underwear drawer".*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *They search the bed and find a hidden dagger that seems otherworldly and disturbingly vile.  Startled by the voices of Marie's ladies-in-waiting entering the antechamber, Ren Qi's response is to search the wardrobe.  The ladies-in-waiting open the door to find Ren Qi and Rose up to their elbows in the Lady's unmentionables. *




Yeah! _*Hell yeah!*_ Whip out that runestaff and bury yourself up to your elbows in ladies' unmentionables! Steal and soil as many as you can until you're drunk with power, then ride off leaving a sorority house in your wake!


----------



## Nail

*Re: Re: The moral of the story is "stay out of the underwear drawer".*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> They search the bed and find a hidden dagger that seems otherworldly and disturbingly vile. Startled by the voices of Marie's ladies-in-waiting entering the antechamber, Ren Qi's response is to search the wardrobe. The ladies-in-waiting open the door to find Ren Qi and Rose up to their elbows in the Lady's unmentionables.





			
				JERandall[/i]
Yeah! [u]Hell yeah![/u] Whip out that runesword and let Stormbringer feast on the souls of your enemies. Hack people apart until you're drunk with power said:
			
		

> *Yeah! Hell yeah! Whip out that runestaff and bury yourself up to your elbows in ladies' unmentionables! Steal and soil as many as you can until you're drunk with power, then ride off leaving a sorority house in your wake! *



LOL!   

 You're a bad, bad man, Wulf.......Good stuff!  That's not the past rearing it's ugly head, is it?......


----------



## (contact)

*Eeeeeverybody huuuuuuuurts . . . sometimes.*

*Ten:  “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,”
(or, Can’t we just move to Nyrond?)*

After several frantic days and sleepless nights, the party determines that they have done all that can be done to help Hommlet protect itself.  Heydricus capitalizes on the unfortunate murder of the irascible Canon Turgeon, and re-instates the Town Council, a collection of elders and wise ones disbanded by Turgeon during his rise to power.

During this time, news from abroad filters back to Hommlet.  According to travelers, the night after the burning of Knulb, the Lady Marie made an appearance at the gates of Verbobonc.  Wounded and bloody, she tearfully told of the sacking of Knulb by the Sheildland refugees, and warned that they were marching on Verbobonc.  Then, in full view of many witnesses, the Lady Marie died.  Fully prepared, and with a much stronger force, the Verbobonc army marched out to meet the rag-tag refugee band.  The Shieldlanders, led to believe that they would be joining the main army of Furyondy, were utterly crushed.

The Lord Mayor’s response to this chain of events was to blame Butrain, and swear that he would never sit the throne of Verbobonc.  The claim of Lady Anne was put through, and she now rules the city-state.

As disturbing as this news is, the party’s spirits are lifted by a reunion of sorts.  Sweet Pea and Little Leaf return from the forest, ready to once again join the PCs in their struggle against Evil.

Our heroes waste no further time, and against all reason decide to once again assault the Temple through the back door.  Some people just don’t learn.  Those are usually the ones who don’t make it to 5th level.

They enter an oddly shaped room, with a huge gong in the center, some stairs leading up (to the second level, presumably), and four doors.  Listening at one of the doors reveals voices.  Loud, booming voices speaking Giantish.  Lucius realizes suddenly what this room is, and starts to disable the gong.  

Before he can finish, however, one of the doors is opened, and a very startled giant steps out.  Ten feet tall, the brute has just enough time to drool and scratch his head before the combined attacks of seven PCs cut him down.  His three friends come charging out through the open door, and knock Keriann to the floor.  The fighting grows heated, but still seems to be going the PCs’ way, until . . . WHAM!  Lucius is reduced to one Hit Point from full strength by one mighty blow.  The PCs are getting their first taste of what fighting giants is really like.

Unfortunately, the giants manage to ring the gong, and what should come out of a door but the strangest looking giant yet:  15’ tall, this giant’s facial features are hideously deformed.  The beast has several thumbs on one hand, and its nose protrudes from its neck.  The party smells ‘leader’ but before they can act, two more of the smaller giants emerge from the third door.

Things get ugly.  Lucius has enough time left in his young life to hit a giant with a poisoned crossbow bolt, weakening the hulking wretch greatly, before the giant makes the party wish they had used dog tags to identify the dead.  There is not enough left of Lucius for his mother to recognize.

Keriann fights valiantly, exhausting Suhi’s Staff of Striking before she too, is killed by a sword blow from one of the Giants.  There is a brief glimmer of hope that fades as the fourth and final door opens, revealing four more of the giants coming out to play.  As the party’s hit points start falling into the “one-more-hit-and-I’m-fertilizer” range, PCs begin looking to flee.  

Little Leaf uses an _invisibility_ spell from a ring, and Sweet Pea hides behind an _obscurement_ spell.  Ren Qi, Daniere and Heydricus fall back into the hallway, and pepper the confused monsters with missile fire.  This strategy proves so effective, with four of the beasts fixated on finding Sweet Pea, that by the time the _obscurement_ spell fades, only two giants remain alive.  The three heroes down the corridor lure the formorian leader away from the room, and the two wood elves finish off the other giant.

A titanic game of cat and mouse ensues, with the mice playing the role of the cat.  The formorian, stupid to its core, waffles confused between the two groups of archers at either end of the corridor.  By the time it decides to just go ahead and pulverize Daniere, Heydricus and Ren Qi have escaped.  The formorian is severely wounded, and on returning to its room, the wood elves decide to try and finish the discourse once and for all.  Little Leaf bravely stands up to the thing, and hopefully will have secured a fine place in Arborea for himself with his last act.  Sweet Pea would want to put silver coins on the eyes of her dead comrade, but the eyes were vaporized along with the rest of Little Leaf’s head.

But Little Leaf is the last PC to die that day, as Sweet Pea delivers the Coup de Grace with her bow, Solaniir Thalendera’s sacred weapon.  The wounded PCs take stock, search the giant’s quarters, and retreat to the surface.

As a last, spiteful act, Heydricus empties all of Lucius’ poison vials into the giant’s stewpot, then leaves it out at the entrance of their lair.  “Here wandering monster!  Here boy!”


----------



## Flash

> Little Leaf bravely stands up to the thing, and hopefully will have secured a fine place in Arborea for himself with his last act. Sweet Pea would want to put silver coins on the eyes of her dead comrade, but the eyes were vaporized along with the rest of Little Leaf’s head.




LOL!!!! Please stop. I can't take this anymore. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!!!


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

*Re: Eeeeeverybody huuuuuuuurts . . . sometimes.*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *There is not enough left of Lucius for his mother to recognize.*




<sigh>

This story used to be so good.


Wulf


----------



## (contact)

*Ahhh, slipping in to a nice, warm, dungeon*

*Eleven:  The Thousand Mile Stare
(or, It’s not just a job . . . it’s a really deadly job.)*

A young adventuress arrives in town just as the party is returning from the temple.  Her name is Prisantha, and she is the love-child of Guillame, an elven priest and adventurer who, 20 years ago, found his fame and fortune beating back the last resurrection of the Temple.  Prisantha’s mother relocated to Verbobonc (after being paid off by the poly-amorous Guillame), and Pris has traveled to Hommlet after hearing of the troubles in Knulb.  She checks up on her maternal grandparents, and after determining that they are safe, she offers to join the fight against Iuz.  A young beauty, the party is at first reluctant to let her join in such a dire cause.  But she is insistent, and once she reveals her particular affinity for Enchantment spells, the band of heroes agrees to join forces with the young mage.

Sweet Pea excuses herself to bury Little-Leaf in the forest, in a manner sacred to Wood Elves.  

Shortly thereafter, a pair of travelers from Greyhawk City arrive on the scene.  They are old adventuring companions of Esril, and when sent on a mission to investigate the brewing war, they hear the name of their old friend.  Their questions lead them to Hommlet, and then to Esril’s grave.  Esril’s tombstone is but one of fourteen nearby, all of them recent, and some of them still fresh.

As cagey veterans, Egil, a fighter, and Jespo Crim, a conjurer, correctly interpret what all the recent graves mean.  They deduce that there is a battle underway, one that is claiming the lives of adventurers at a disturbing rate.  When Heydricus and Ren Qi arrive, Jespo Crim and Egil are quickly brought on board.

Jespo Crim is an older wizard, eccentric and wise.  He is overly fond of bemoaning the undue attention lavished on flashy Invokers and Transmuters, and of complaining about party tactics.  His familiar is a cat by the name of Fräs, and it becomes quickly obvious that Fräs and Jespo disagree about most every subject.  Fräs hisses at Jespo, which provokes the old man to command “Silence!”, which provokes a hiss, which provokes a command to silence, etc.

Egil, a Warder of the Circle of Eight, has made his career out of investigating Evil cults, and putting a stop to them.  A strong, bull-like man, he advocates a steady, orderly approach to the Temple Dungeon:  “Go to the first level, clear it, move on to the second, clear it, and so on until you’ve killed ‘em all”.  Egil does not take prisoners.

As the newly-formed group is planning its next foray into the Temple dungeons, they receive a strange visitor.  A man arrives, looking for Lucius.  When asked his business, he gives the party the following message:  He is a member of the Knulb Thieves’ Guild, and is very unhappy with the wererat takeover of the guild.  He has recently overheard the wererat’s leader supplicating to a Priest of Iuz, and discussing the fate of the children from Knulb’s Orphanage.

It seems that, contrary to common belief, the children were not slaughtered, but herded away en-masse.  The Priest and wererat discussed a date, 25 days from the present, when presumably, the children are to be mass sacrificed in some horrific ritual.  The messenger was properly disgusted (not being irredeemably evil himself), and is now fleeing for the ‘safety’ of the Banditlands, where a thief can make an honest living robbing from the poor.

Worse still, the name Zinvellon was mentioned.  The leader of the occupation forces in Crockport, this worthy is rumored to be a member of the Lesser Boneheart - - one of the Old One’s personal lieutenants.

The party now has a new impetus to push on, and the clock is ticking.

The group returns to the surface-level Temple compound, and finds it literally thick with undead.  It seems the Temple priests have raised the bodies of the Shieldlanders they sent to their deaths in Verbobonc.  Worse yet, the undead packs are composed entirely of ghouls and ghasts.  The party encounters a score of the monsters just getting to the Temple, and after fighting a few and fleeing from the rest, they obtain entrance.

What they find is even more shocking than the undead menace outside the walls.   The ruined Temple has been cleaned up.  Ritual instruments that were broken or cast aside have been replaced and put into their proper place.  The whole area is well-lit, and although empty, shows signs of recent use.  Worse yet, a human sacrifice remains on the altar, it’s heart missing.  Egil grimly douses the corpse with holy water.

The party moves down to the first level, and encounters there a T-intersection leading to a strange pair of rooms.  To the right a fire-drake is chained to the floor, and to the left a pair of displacer beasts are similarly bound.  Jespo summons a sextet of giant crabs, and the battle begins.  The beasts are kept by a pair of trolls, but thanks to some quick thinking and teamwork from Jespo Crim and Pris, neither the drake nor the displacer beasts are freed from their confinement.  Jespo exhausts six _monster summoning_ spells during the fight, calling to himself giant crabs, goblins from the Temple’s kitchens, an orog wearing the livery of Iuz (most likely from two doors down), a pair of lizardmen from the Pomarj, six fire beetles, and a lone stirge.  

The stirge was pretty tough.

Pris finds herself at a loss, as fighting beasts and undead is not an enchanter’s forte) and Ren Qi suffers a severe identity crisis in the midst of the fight.  Egil has troubles with his luck, and Jespo Crim’s conjurations are rather, well, 
. . . flaccid.  (_Hiss!_  “Silence”!  _Hiss!_   “Silence!”)

All in all though, the enemy is defeated, and despite the absence of a Cleric, the party remains alive and in one piece.


----------



## Piratecat

What happened to Ren Qi?


----------



## fett527

*Re: Eeeeeverybody huuuuuuuurts . . . sometimes.*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *
> There is not enough left of Lucius for his mother to recognize.
> 
> 
> Little Leaf bravely stands up to the thing, and hopefully will have secured a fine place in Arborea for himself with his last act.  Sweet Pea would want to put silver coins on the eyes of her dead comrade, but the eyes were vaporized along with the rest of Little Leaf’s head. *




I should have been keeping a scorecard from the beginning.  

A moment of silence for poor Lucius...


----------



## Joshua Randall

*With apologies to Percy Bysshe Shelly (and John Keats).*

I weep for Brother Lucius - he is dead!
O, weep for Brother Lucius! though our tears
Mend not the bits that once composed his head.
And thou, fell Giant, selected from all fears
To cause our grief, rouse thy obscure compeers
And teach them of our sorrow. Say: 'Twas me
Killed Brother Lucius; till the party dares
Forget the Past, his fate and fame shall be
An echo and a light unto eternity!'


----------



## Greybar

> I should have been keeping a scorecard from the beginning.




Hmm.  Award one point for each episode that a character survives, with bonus points available for great scenes or noble sacrifice?

John


----------



## Rel

As good as this Story Hour has been up until now, this is where it gets REALLY good.

All hail the arrival of Jespo Crim.

(I hope you don't mind, (contact) but I stole Jespo for use as an NPC.  And his little kitty too!)


----------



## (contact)

> I weep for Brother Lucius - he is dead!
> O, weep for Brother Lucius! though our tears
> Mend not the bits that once composed his head.
> And thou, fell Giant, selected from all fears
> To cause our grief, rouse thy obscure compeers
> And teach them of our sorrow. Say: 'Twas me
> Killed Brother Lucius; till the party dares
> Forget the Past, his fate and fame shall be
> An echo and a light unto eternity!'




Sniff.  That's beautiful.  (Of course, Lucius is in Hell now.)

Rel: Jespo Crim is in the public domain.  Next time I see him, I'll tell him, but I'm sure he'll be flattered.

PC:  Nothing happened to Ren Qi, why?  She was running around with Heydricus when Jespo and Egil showed up.

Greybar:  Who's winning?


----------



## Piratecat

(contact) said:
			
		

> *
> Ren Qi suffers a severe identity crisis in the midst of the fight *




Sounds like she switched players!


----------



## (contact)

PC-- If I recall correctly, "identity crisis" was my polite way of saying "played like a moron".  I seem to remember Ren Qi forgetting that she was a monk and wanting to be a tank-type fighter.  If she'd been an ounce braver, she never would have survived.


----------



## Greybar

Let's see if I have this hero eating list right:

Greybar's List'o'Heroes
1. Aelniir of the Sheildlands - Ep0 thru Ep2 - 2pts
2. Esril - Ep0 thru Ep2 - 2 pts
3. Gnomishic - Ep0 thru Ep5 - 5 pts
4. Heydricus - Ep0 thru 
5. Reysnole - Ep0 thru Ep2 - 2 pts
6. Whistlin' Pippin Jumpscreek - Ep0 thru Ep1 - 1 pt
7. Ahlana - Ep2 thru Ep3 - 1 pt
8. Sweet Pea - Ep3 thru Ep5, Ep10 thru
9. Little Leaf - Ep3 thru Ep5, Ep10 thru Ep10 - 3 pts
10.Suhi - Ep3 thru Ep7 - 4 pts
11.Rose - Ep3 thru 
12.Tisha - Ep3 thru Ep7 - 4 pts
13.Lucius Maturin - Ep4 thru Ep10 - 6 pts
14.Keriann Croller - Ep6 thru Ep10 - 4 pts
15.Ren Qi - Ep8 thru 
16.Lady Amyryth - Ep8 thru Ep8 - 0 pts
17.Daniere - Ep9 thru Ep10 - 1 pt
18.Prisantha - Ep11 thru 
19.Egil - Ep11 thru 
20.Jespo Crim (and Fräs) - Ep11 thru 

Party at this moment
Heydricus (12pts)
Rose (9pts)
Sweet Pea (5 pts)
Ren Qi (4pts)
Prisantha (1pt)
Egil (1pt)
Jespo (1pt)

Good Score, but dead
Lucius (6 pts)
Gnomishic (5 pts)

So 20 up and 13 down...

John


----------



## (contact)

Hey, thanks John!


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## (contact)

*Every dog has his day, but most of them sleep through it.*

*Twelve:  Strange and Sinister Stirrings in Supernatural Subterranean Settings
(or, “I think Lassie’s trying to tell us something.  What’s that girl?  The yarn is on fire?”)*

Over the still-warm bodies of the drake, displacer beasts and trolls, the party  explores further, only to find that they have gone a level deeper underground without ever realizing it!  Thanks to their careful mapping, they are able to return to Egil’s plan:  stay on the first level, kill everything, _then_ move on.

They sneak into an area they know to be occupied by the tough-looking orcs spotted by Gnomishic and Lucius after the gnoll fight.  Egil uses his elven cloak and boots to scout ahead, and finds four of the beefy orcs guarding a nexus chamber with several exits.  The party attacks, and this time, the PCs are the ones _charming_ their foes, and causing mayhem in the enemy’s ranks.  The orcs are tough, however, and heavily reinforced.  They overwhelm Egil in the nexus chamber, and several of their blows tell true.  A _slow_ spell, along with Heydricus’ fighting skill put an end to the struggle, and the party loots the orog’s quarters.

A careful search reveals a secret door, and the map seems to indicate that the door would lead into the quarters of the ogres who killed Tisha and Suhi.  Seizing their chance for revenge (and with two _charmed_ orogs for club-fodder), the PCs burst in upon the stupid pair, and thanks to a devastating critical hit from Heydricus, cut them both down before they can say “revivification is unlikely at this point, as the subject’s head has gone missing”.  

Not that ogres could pronounce ‘revivification’ in any case.

Marching across the way, and pushing their wounded, spell-less luck, the party attacks the ogre’s leader.  A truly intimidating brute, this ogre has a certain, shall we say, Barbaric quality about him, and upon sighting the cheeky PCs, flies into a Rage.

Fortunately, Heydricus, as a sorcerer, has enough _mirror images_ for a whole tribe of barbarian ogres.  The hulking reprobate howls his frustration as he is killed without managing an answering blow.

Hearing shouts coming from behind a closed door, the party decides to exercise the better part of valor, and show the dungeon their heels.   Not having enough time to search the ogre’s chest, Heydricus and Egil carry it between them as the party runs for the surface.  

Upon exiting the Temple, the group is set upon by the now ubiquitous mixed group of ghasts and ghouls.  Egil is paralyzed, and so the chest is dropped, the fighter picked up instead, and the PCs flee the Temple, some 140 gp richer.

As the PCs rest for the night back in town, they hear that ghoul bands have been terrorizing the countryside, including two attacks on Hommlet over the last few days.  Their numbers are inestimable, but surely beyond the capacity of a few priests to raise.  What darker magic is at work is anyone’s guess, but something unusually Evil is going on beneath the Temple.

The party is overjoyed by the return of Sweet Pea.  Greetings are exchanged, and introductions made. Fräs and Sasha both take a shine to Sweet Pea, and Fräs compares Jespo Crim rather unfavorably with the charismatic Elf.

The party determines that with all the undead roaming about, the best entrance strategy to the 1st level is the secret passage leading to the 3rd level.  (Although all PCs can now read and write, it seems the subtleties of irony are still lost on them.)  The decision is made to enter the back door, travel to the verbeeg’s room, and take the stairs to the 2nd level, looking for a means to reach level one.

They discover that some_thing_ has partially devoured the bodies of the giants, including the poisoned stew, cast iron container and all.  The only remains are half of the giant leader (the waist down), and part of the stew-pot.  They appear to have been dissolved by acid.  A careful search of the giant’s lair turns up nothing.  Literally.  The room is free of bloodstains, dust or giants.  What monstrosity is at work here, the party can only guess.

Near the top of the stairs, Ren Qi and Egil discover a small, winged fiend, frantically searching through a stack of papers in a bed chamber. Surprising the barb-tailed anti-cherub, Ren Qi stuns it, and Egil separates head from body.  Heydricus recognizes the thing as Romag’s quasit familiar, from the Well Fiasco (chapter 4).  While leafing through the books and papers on the desk, Jespo Crim discovers a folded sheet of parchment.  It is the contract binding the quasit to Romag and, by extension, to Iuz, for one hundred and one days.  It seems the little bastard was looking for a way to weasel out of its terms of service.  Glad to oblige ya, little guy.

The PCs discover the Air temple nearby.  It is familiar to only Heydricus, as he is the last surviving member of the party that originally fell down the well.  Proceeding north through the second level, the group soon arrives in the room where they battled with the displacer beasts and the fire drake.  The orogs, and their cruel leader Thag, are just around the corner.

The party finds their way to a corridor with doors at either end.  Opening door #1 does not reveal the “Brand!  New!  Car!”, just a group of pissed-off and ready orogs.  They have been waiting for the PCs arrival, and greet Egil at the door with a surly attitude, and a round of crossbow fire.  Ren Qi delivers a really spectacular beat-down, using his stun ability in conjunction with his sneak attack to render an orog helpless, and make him eat 9d6 over the course of three rounds.

The door opposite crashes open, and four human fighters emerge, weapons at the ready.  From behind the party, further down the corridor, another group of well-drilled orogs emerge, and take up ranks firing crossbows.  Jespo Crim is summoning monsters like there’s no tomorrow, and it seems that one of the gnolls he summons is very familiar, in a hateful way, with the orogs. 

Both of the mages are left exposed in the hallway, with the fighting-arm of the party (in the persons of Heydricus, Egil and Ren Qi) in a room.  The mages drop _monster summonings_ and _scare_ spells on the orog elites, neutralizing them, while Heydricus casts sleep on the humans threatening him.  The four human fighters are reduced to three by the [_sleep_ spell, and Heydricus teaches the remainder a thing or two about a thing or two, in a _really_ unfriendly way.  Things are looking up for the group.

That’s when a sepulchral voice from behind the human fighters intones, “Wretched mortals.  Must I do every little thing myself?”  A fiend (a rutterkin demon) emerges, and his fear cone sends Heydricus, Sweet Pea and Egil running away as fast as their respective movement rates will allow them to.  Hello, losers, my name is Eeevil.

Ren Qi, unnoticed by the fiend, sips an _invisibility_ potion, and hides.  Jespo Crim and Prisantha make like a dog and flea.  Flee.  Make like a rat and . . . well, they run like hell.  Pris is blind-sided by a orog, and lapses into unconsciousness.

Jespo conjures a phalanx of _summoned_ associates, and binds Pris’ wounds.  The unseen Ren Qi follows the mages as they backtrack to the exit.  Halfway there, pursued by the orogs and humans shaking off any spell effects disabling them, the fleeing group runs into the _feared_ group, who are by now, back to their right minds and spoiling for an excuse to kill.  

The group engages the fiend that _feared_ them, as well as the infamous Thag, a black-skinned, white-haired, fang-mouthed rogue and fighter.  A rousing melee ensues, with _summoned_ monsters, orogs, PCs and fiends battling for supremacy in the Depths of the Temple of Elemental Evil.

The PCs win handily, using their _summoned_ allies to distract the orogs and then gang-banging the fiends.  The rutterkin is slain, but Thag escapes in the confusion.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman

*raises a glass to the wittiest story hour on the boards*

More congratulations! And bumps.


----------



## (contact)

*At last, the turn is tabled!*

*Fourteen:  The Vital Process - -Neutralize, Distract, and Disable.
(or, “Les hommes saints d'armée, Batman!  Nous sommes tous qui vont mourir!”)*

When the party returns to the surface, suprisingly enough, they find a companion waiting for them.  (Surprising because this is the first time their numbers have been bolstered without immediately preceding casualties.)  And who should it be but Anton Flamehair, a brash, foul-mouthed, loud-talking-soldier of a wizard with a love for horses (platonic, of course), strong drink and evocations.  An old adventuring companion of Egil, Jespo Crim and Esril, Anton Flamehair of Almor has come looking for his Countrywoman.   He takes an immediate shine to Pris, and this seems to ruffle Jespo’s feathers.   Of course, it could be a manifestation of Jespo’s _fireball_ envy, or simply an old wizards’ rivalry resurfacing . . .

The party doesn’t have long to get acquainted before Andras (Hommlet’s resident mage) tells the PCs that he and his _crystal ball_ have discerned that Willam of Willip has returned, and is flogging a dead horse into a bloodthirsty frenzy; or more specifically, is once again readying the Shieldlanders for an assault on Heydricus and the Forces of Evil.  (Egil comments, “Hey, Heydricus!  You’re famous!”)  Sir Willam is marching on Hommlet in one day’s time, with 200 Shieldlanders, and they have fire in their eyes.  It seems the fiend impersonating Lady Marie has wormed its way back to Hommlet.

The PCs wrangle and debate about what course of action to take, and in the end, devise this devious plan:

Hommlet’s civilian population is led by the druid Jeru Ashstaff to the nearby Kron Hills, where they seek sanctuary with the gnomes there.  The PCs, and any remaining classed NPCs (Andras, the new Canon Calmiir, The stonemason, etc.), lead a small band of 40 well-armed skirmishers into hiding in the woods.

Then the PCs poison all the ale at the brewery.

Egil and Ren Qi observe from a hidden vantage point as the Shieldlanders arrive in the deserted village, and begin sacking the town.  Egil and Ren Qi watch with malign glee as Shieldlanders begin to choke and die, and none of them can tell why.  After a chaotic struggle, Sir Willam and his knightly cronies manage to restore order to the panicked Shieldlanders, and organize a thorough (albeit fearfully sober) razing of Hommlet.

The PCs, meanwhile, have set up their small force in an ambush.  As the shadows of twilight lengthen, the Shieldlanders are marching back to Knulb.  Sir Willam is, of course, in the rear, surrounded by his knights and archers.  The PCs surprise the villains with a _fireball_ (or two), destroying Willam’s archers, and decimating his knights.  Ren Qi and Egil sneak around both flanks, while Heydricus and Rose attack Willam directly, with arrows and _magic missile_ spells.

Egil is mobbed by wererats, but soon discovers that by rolling enough critical hits and using the Cleave feat, any obstacle can be overcome.  Ren Qi remains hidden and tails a group of rogues who are also attempting to remain out of sight.  Andras calls a _wall of fire_ into being, and cleanly divides the opposing forces into bite-sized chunks.  The Shieldlanders’ already shaky morale begins to waver, then break, and a full-scale rout is underway.  Sir Willam attempts to flee by shapechanging into a wren, but a pair of _dispel magics_ from Jespo Crim and Anton return the wren to its true form, 40 feet in the air, dropping the black-skinned, white haired demon head-first to its death.  It’s Thag, after all! 

As a parting insult, one of the assassins travelling with the Temple retinue fires a crossbow bolt into Andras, killing the old mage instantly.  Unfortunately for him, his assassination attempt reveals his presence to Ren Qi, who closes the distance using blinding speed, and performs a Sneak Attack assassination of his own, sending the wretch to the Abyss with one well-placed blow.

Meanwhile, Heydricus and Rose have convinced one of the fleeing “knights” that he can’t hope to outrun their missile range before he runs out of hit points, and he surrenders.

Prisantha the Enchantress steps to the fore, and one missed Willpower save later, this ‘knight’ is spilling his guts to his new best friend, and counseling her to flee before Heydricus the Wicked sacrifices her to the Old One.  

It seems that, according to Shieldlander belief, Sir Willam was “resurrected” and returned to his faithful, to help them fight against Heydricus, and his demonic associates.  The Evil forces had wisely disguised their lies with truth - - they blamed the failure of the military attack on Veluna, the burning of Knulb and the recent proliferation of undead on the presence of the Temple of Elemental Evil.  True enough, but they held forward the Temple’s chief agents as Heydricus and his adventuring companions.  

You can tell some of the people some of the truth, some of the time . . . but refugees are stupid.   The Shieldlanders have incessantly harried and assaulted the party, thinking of course, that they were fighting evil the whole time.

Prisantha develops a devious plan.  Using a _change self_ and _philter of persuasion_, and with the aid of her new Shieldlander friend, she travels to Knulb and begins her own recruiting in the refugee camp.


----------



## Joshua Randall

(contact) said:
			
		

> Then the PCs poison all the ale at the brewery.




Oh man, that is brilliant. I wish I could think of stuff like that. Too bad more of the Shieldlanders didn't drink the poisoned ale. Was it a fast-acting poison so that they noticed the effects immediately?


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## (contact)

*Curiosity should have killed the cat.*

*Fifteen:  “Ah, why / Should life all labour be?”    (Alfred Tennyson, The Lotus-Eaters.)
(or, “But, Mooooom!  I don’t want to go to the sacrifice!  I want to stay inside and torture the prisoners!”)*

It should have been you Fräs. . .

Prisantha and Jespo Crim put their heads (and their Diplomacy skills) together and craft a moving, stirring oratory, that soundly denounces the idea that Heydricus is evil, and rationally champions the need for Shieldlanders to rise up and attack the actual Temple of Elemental Evil itself.  They are wildly successful (did I mention the once-a-turn _suggestion_ at DC 17?), and within a few hours, the PCs find themselves at the head of a very angry mob, storming the Temple Grounds.

Unfortunately, the Temple Grounds is as far as they get.  With the rag-tag refugee army ready to charge into the Temple and put to the pitchfork any evil humanoids or priests they find, the PCs set about opening the barred doors giving entrance to the Temple proper.  Ren Qi climbs up to one of the high windows, intending to sneak in, and open the way

Given time, he surely would have warned our heroes what was awaiting them, but as he was drawing breath to shout for a general retreat, all Abyss breaks loose.

The doors are thrown open from the inside, and out charge a half-dozen fiends:  Centaur-like creatures with an undead pallor, 10 feet tall, armored in spiky plates of metal forged in the netherworld, their war-shod hooves giving off unholy sparks.  With a fearsome battle-cry they charge into the ranks of the Shieldlanders and begin to lay waste with a blood-thirsty zeal.  

Armanites, for the love of Pelor.  Freakin’ armanites!

As it currently stands:  Temple of Elemental Evil 5, Shieldlanders 0.  The mob’s morale fails, and the would-be assaulters flee headlong in every direction from the Demonic assault.

The PCs fare no better.  As they are near the doors, they see what is behind the Armanites.  A horde of monsters, bugbears, ogres and evil humans up front, backed up by giants and worse.  Ren Qi has an eye-to-eye encounter with one of the giants standing guard near his vantage point, and notices a dozen powerful-looking priests orchestrating the whole affair.  He is sent flying from his perch as a giant’s boulder crashes into his window, and he falls to the ground outside the Temple.

Egil and Sweet Pea scoop up the unconscious monk, and meeting up with Rose, run for their lives.  Jespo Crim makes himself _invisible_, and runs faster than an old mage should be able to, Fräs in tow.  Heydricus flees with Anton, and Prisantha runs off in an entirely different direction.

The night Knulb burned begins to be remembered as a comparatively benign happening, as the forces of Iuz, all subtlety thrown to the wind, begin to ravish the countryside in earnest.  Teams of evil humans and humanoids work in concert with giants and fiends, destroying everything worth cherishing within a five-mile radius.  No doubt, the priests are kept quite busy attempting to reign in the wanton destruction, and force the monsters back into their lairs beneath the temple.

For their part, the PCs spend a sleepless night, hidden in various hiding places, without a proper camp, and with no place to call home.  The gods of luck favor them, however, and by two days time the group has re-composed itself in Hommlet.  Rather, in the burned-out rubble that used to be known as Hommlet. Fräs is quick to blame Jespo’s shoddy thinking for the whole ordeal, and some inter-party accusations are leveled, but in the end, the group decides to renew their fight against Elemental Evil and take stock of what forces they are up against.  Judging by what Ren Qi and Anton saw in the Temple:  armanites, trolls, ogres, bugbears, giants, humans, formorians, evil priests and a handful of unidentified winged creatures.  Just another day at the Office of Elemental Evil.

It is now seventeen days until the Sacrifice. The PCs have lost all of their treasure and adventuring equipment (as it was hidden in Hommlet’s Church of St. Cuthbert, which has since been sacked).  Worse yet, the absolute safest place for the party to gather and rest seems to be the secret area in the third dungeon level. Sweet Pea is sent on a desperate errand South to acquire new gear, and the rest of the party plans a counterstrike.

During previous forays into the dungeon, the party has noticed several sets of huge bronze doors, heavily warded with powerful _antipathy_ spells.  Temple lore tells the heroes that these wards were originally put into place to imprison Zuggtomoy, a disgusting Goddess of fungi and mold.  Prisantha points out that the adventuring band that last cleared out the Temple, led by her father twenty years ago, defeated Zuggtomoy’s incarnation and banished her from Greyhawk.  The party reasons that no-one expects the unexpected, and decide to break through one of these warded portals and explore what lies beyond.

With the aid of Jespo’s _summoned_ monsters, and a _lightning bolt_ from Anton, the wards on one of the sets of doors are broken.  The chains keeping the giant-sized doors closed are soon destroyed, and the party moves in to a strange room:

A throne room of malign appearance, frightening and disorienting even by the Temple’s standards.  Several exits give off from the main area.  Most disturbingly, a set of stairs that lead downward into some wretched  place, giving off pulsing, multi-hued light.  The throne room itself is done in stonework and painted horrifically  - - putrid pinks clashing with greens that seem to decompose before the heroes’ very eyes.  Bas-relief carvings depict human sacrifice on an epic scale;  in every instance, the corpses becoming fertile ground for hideous fungal growths to emerge.  Not suprisingly, the air is ripe with the stench of mildew and rot.

An examination of one of the corridors leading off from the throne room reveals a fearsome sight:  Four elementals, one each of the four main types, congregate in a room nearby.  As the heroes spot them, the elementals spot the heroes, and move to close ranks.  Pris quickly ensconces the party in a _magic circle against evil_.  Heydricus gulps a potion of heroism and charges to the front.  The fire elemental is the first to reach the corridor the party is in, but as it is hedged out by Pris’ spell, it is impotent.  The other three elementals are equally powerless, bottlenecked behind the fire elemental in the hallway.  Anton is quick to make them pay for not being hot, as he ruthlessly _fireballs_ them again and again.

The situation seems well in hand, when the party hears soft chanting from the room they just left.  Suddenly, Pris’ protection spell, as well as all of the party’s enhancement magic is _dispelled_!  Suddenly becoming visible is a rather disreputable looking priest, wearing moldy leather armor, and bearing a holy symbol of Zuggtomoy.  Meat, meet Anschel. Anschel, this is Meat.

The battle begins in earnest.  The fire elemental attacks Heydricus, and despite his potion, and all his attendant gains in toughness, Heydricus re-discovers the dubious joys of single-digit hit point totals within one round.  The others fare no better, for although they are able to wound the priest, and disrupt his casting, he has enough magic items to compensate.  His first line of defense is a magically summoned _wind wall_, foiling the PCs deadly missile fire.  A blazing _wall of fire_ soon follows, and were it not for Egil’s gung-ho charge through the inferno, all would probably be lost.  Jespo Crim and Prisantha _summon_ allies to aid the cause, but these are soon immolated by the _flame strikes_ and _walls of ice_ the wicked priest calls forth from his magical staff. 

Jespo attempts to make the _suggestion_ that this fighting is pointless, the PCs are favored by Zuggtomoy, and must not come to harm. Anschel laughs at the idea, making his DC 19 save with a 3 on the die.  This is when Jespo decides to cast all of his remaining spells from the doorway he came in, and with one foot out the door.   Jespo focuses a _dispel magic_ on the priest’s staff, rendering it temporarily inert, and Pris _summons_ some more aid, in the form of giant frogs.

Meanwhile, Heydricus has gulped a potion of _cure serious wounds_, and is giving as good as he gets in the hallway, When Egil and Rose both combine attacks on the evil priest, his cause looks lost.  But zealous worshippers of Infernal Fungal Powers don’t give up easily (would you, if you were going to the Abyss when you die?), and he lays Rose low with a _flame strike_.  He is in the last chapter of his mortal life, however, and Egil strikes a critical blow to hammer home the point.  Finally, after ending Rose’s life, Anschel sends Egil into the murky depths of unconsciousness, the fighter’s precarious hold on life further unsteadied by the fact he is still on fire.  A well-placed _magic missile _(aren’t they all?) from Anton finishes off the mildew-loving priest, and Egil is attended to.

Jespo is able to restore Heydricus’ _protection from evil_, and hedging out the elementals, the PCs use spells and magic attacks to slay them.

The immediate threat defeated, our heroes are able to search the surrounding areas for treasure.  After running from a horrible room where fungi grow human faces, Prisantha announces that she has pushed her luck as far as it will go, and wishes to return to the base camp.

Jespo and Ren Qi desire to further explore the area, however, and strip Egil’s unconscious form of his _elven cloak and boots_.  Using _darkvision_ spells, they sneak into a secondary throne room, and ducking behind a tapestry, they find themselves in a corridor with a shelf set into it at eye-level.  There are four unremarkable purple-hued stones on the shelf.  Curiosity killed the cat, and apparently a familiar’s traits do rub off on a mage, because Jespo Crim touches one of the stones.

He is instantly covered in a spray of green slime, covering a 20 by 10 foot area directly in front of the shelf.  Ren Qi and Fräs both nimbly evade the slime, but Jespo is hideously saturated.  The rest of the party, waiting in the throne room, is startled by his hideous shriek of terror and pain.  They arrive to find Jespo writhing in agony, frantically stripping off his clothes and begging Ren Qi to help scrape the stuff off before all is lost.  Finally, they manage to remove the onerous gel from Jespo, at the cost of his spellbooks, clothing and magic items.  Jespo is forced to stand naked (  -- _impressively_ naked, nudge nudge, wink wink) and watch in horror as all of his worldly possessions are slowly transmuted into green slime.

The whole party surrounds him in mute sympathy, when Jespo’s pitiful cry echoes through the dungeon as he watches his spellbooks melt: 

“It should have been _you_ Fräs!”


----------



## Enkhidu

*Re: Curiosity should have killed the cat.*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> [BThe whole party surrounds him in mute sympathy, when Jespo’s pitiful cry echoes through the dungeon as he watches his spellbooks melt:
> 
> “It should have been _you_ Fräs!” [/B]




Ahhhh, the beauty of foreshadowing...


----------



## Kid Charlemagne

I can't decide if I love Jespo or Fras more...


----------



## Dinkeldog

Fras.  Definitely Fras.


----------



## (contact)

Oh, way to go, Dinkledog.  You made Jespo cry.


----------



## (contact)

*Just make it a command word I can remember . . .*

*Sixteen:  The Way Things Work Here in Wonderville
(or, “DC Thirty -Five?  Are you f--king kidding me?”)*

With an emptied _staff of the elements_ in hand, and a naked conjurer, the party feels up for anything.  The next morning, Anton generously offers Jespo the use of his spell books to memorize some spells.  Jespo picks up a couple of spells the two mages actually have in common, and a small strike force sets out to recharge their newly won staff.

Jespo, Anton, Egil and Heydricus accost the elementals guarding the earth temple on level one.  After proving to themselves once again that they’re just not tough enough to go toe to toe with 12 HD monsters, the party manages to trap one of the elementals into the staff and power its Elemental Earth aspect, before fleeing.

They return for a quick trial-run at Zuggtomoy’s temple, and start a fight with some animated suits of mail.  Anton, wielding the staff, enjoys the once-a-round _crystalbrittle_ so much that his cackles seem sure to bring all wandering-monsterdom  down on the PC’s heads.  The strike force hastily returns to base before something does come to investigate.

Jespo announces to the party that he must soon set out for Greyhawk City to retrieve his other set of spellbooks, but before he leaves . . . Never a group known for their cowardice (or good sense), the whole party gathers together and decides to solve the mystery of the purple stones.

As they travel to the Temple of Fungal Evil  (magic-resistant DC 19 Jock Itch!  Where’s my lucky dice?), the party spots a pair of trolls investigating the ruined access doors.  Anton, reveling in his new-found power, traps the beasts up to their waists in a _rock to mud_, and after a _suggestion_ by Pris that the trolls should touch their toes, followed by a quick _dispel magic_, the mighty trolls become just another speed bump.

_Aside:  Perhaps an observant player can read the look of horror on a DMs face when his fearsome encounters are blithely brushed aside.  Perhaps this, itself, should be a form of foreshadowing for those who understand The Way Things Work Here in Wonderville._

Our heroes carefully examine the throne of Zuggtomoy, covered from base to tip in gems and jewels of  high quality, and the three obelisks of precious metal that sit in the antechamber:  solid silver, gold and platinum.  Guessing that anything that looks too good to be true probably is, the PCs wisely refrain from hauling all the wealth off to their base. 

A thorough search of the rest of Zuggtomoy’s temple turning up nothing further of interest, our heroes face the Enigmatic Purple Stones of Death.  Pris and Jespo summon extraplanar allies, and 7 formian workers later, the party has deduced the following facts:  

1)	The left-most stone instantly severs the hand of anyone touching it,
2)	The left-center stone spews a field of (apparently limitless) green slime into the area in front of the stones,
3)	The right-center stone fires an unavoidable brace of poisoned darts at  anyone touching it,
4)	The right-most stone triggers a massive lightning bolt of frightening proportion, 
5)	These effects happen regardless of the order in which the stones are touched, and
6)	If any being sweeps all the stones off the shelf at once, no harmful effects are incurred, 
	and a secret niche opens up behind the shelf.  

In the secret space behind the stones is a scroll case, a small wooden box, and a small metal cube, all of which radiate magic.  The formian who swept the stones is instructed to retrieve the objects (just to be safe, of course) and brings them into the obelisk room.

Jespo casts _read magic_ and informs the party that the scroll is arcane magic, and includes one third level spell, two of the sixth, and two of the eighth!  The wooden box contains several potions, and the cube has a name inscribed into one of its sides.  Jespo recognizes the name, and thinking out loud, mutters “Daern? . . .”

Suddenly, the cube transforms into a iron fortress!  Twenty feet to a side, the square tower reaches thirty feet in height, complete with battlements!  Jespo, completely stunned,  finds himself in the center of a plain room, composed entirely of iron with arrow slits giving a 360’ view of the surrounding area.  

As he notices that he can’t see any of his friends from the arrow slits, Jespo opens the door to find his friends sprawled all over the room in various states of injury.  As the _iron fortress_ instantly expanded it magically transposed Jespo into its interior, but hit the rest of the party like a size-H freight train.  The PCs were thrown in all directions, and survived, save for Anton, who was smashed into the stone floor and dragged, totally obliterating both his mortal shell, and his _staff of the elements_.

Jespo, looking on in horror, slowly begins to realize that the unrecognizable object in front of him is what remains of his oldest adventuring companion.  As his voice chokes in his throat, and he is forced to suppress the urge to vomit, a mocking feline voice resounds in his mind:  

“_It should have been you, Jespo_”.


----------



## Circle of Crows

(contact)-  I would have loved to have seen your face when you triggered the Iron Fortress.   Scratch that-- I would have loved to see your DM's face(and heard his evil laughs) when you triggered the Iron Fortress.


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## Citizen Mane

[Edit] Nevermind.  Just figured out my mistake. [/Edit]


----------



## Holy Bovine

These last two episodes are two of my favourites.


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## fett527

Iron Fortress.  Classic.  Reminds me of the time when some PCs got crushed by an expanding boat, I believe it was about the size of a gallion...


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

(contact) said:
			
		

> *Oh, way to go, Dinkledog.  You made Jespo cry. *




Yeah, careful there dinkeldog. God forbid, he might hit you with his _truncheon._


----------



## (contact)

*What's bad for the gander is bad for the rest of the farm animals, too.*

*Seventeen:  Life is a swirling, gurgling eddy of despair, punctuated by moments of fleeting hope.
(or, “So, how’re we doing?”)*

After Anton’s remains are reverently scraped together, Jespo attempts to defend himself from the accusatory glares of his party members by commenting, “Well, D - - is very well respected in wizardly circles, you know.  What kind of accursed egotist uses _his own name_ as a command word, for the love of Boccob?” 

The party examines an antechamber off of Zuggtomoy’s temple that contains a map of the area.  The Temple compound is in the center of a series of expanding rings, drawn over the countryside, each with a date.  The largest ring encompasses the vast majority of Furyondy and is dated for two days hence!  Worse yet, arrows that seem to depict troop movements branch out from the Lands of Iuz into Crystalreach, and from the Temple into Verbobonc, Veluna, and Furyondy.  If our heroes needed proof that the temple was spearheading an invasion into the lands of Good, this is it.  The date of Lady Anne’s coronation in Verbobonc is also scrawled on the map, lending credence to the party’s suspicion that she has, in fact, been replaced by the Succubus who impersonated the Lady Marie of Knulb.

Jespo announces that he must fly to Greyhawk to retrieve his duplicate spellbooks.  The party decides to accompany him part of the way, but are quickly shocked to find themselves on the heels of  a large army, led by priests of Iuz.  Getting ahead of the blundering morass of evil humanoids, humans and giants should prove no trouble, but the loss of Anton rankles in Egil’s soul.  “What’s good for the gander is good for the goose,” he decides, and with arcane assistance in the form of loaned-out magic items, Egil plans a one-fighter commando assault on the army’s leadership.  

He creeps into the midst of the evil priests and activates the _iron fortress_.  

Two of the three priests are instantly killed, but one is thrown free, and survives.  The surviving priest commands his giants to assault the _fortress_, and they do.  Oh, but they do.  Egil calmly activates his _figurine of wondrous power_ - - _stone horse_, uses a _ring of spell storing_ to become _invisible_ again, and reduces the _iron fortress_.  A blast from his suit of _plate mail of fear_ clears a path, and he rides for all he is worth.

To quote Scooby Doo:  “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids”.  The surviving priest directs the fire of the assembled giants and humanoids and negates the element of surprise.  An element, it turns out, completely crucial to the success of Egil’s plan.  Egil is pelted with a withering rain of missile fire, and cannot survive the barrage.   

Once again, the party is forced to flee before a massed horde of Evil, although apparently practice does make perfect - - this time they don’t get split up.

They arrive at the Gnomish stronghold in the Kron Hills in time to warn the Gnomes about the Temple’s army marching through their territory.   At the mention of Giants, the Gnomish war leaders perk up.  They promise that if any army of Evil  reaches Verbobonc, it will be so badly mauled as to be unrecognizable.  A Gnomish delegate offers to accompany Jespo to Verbobonc, where he can warn the people of the coming assault, and perhaps petition Prisantha’s Master to teleport him to Greyhawk.

Jespo and his Gnomish companions are, of course, greeted with all proper urgency and taken directly into the presence of the Lady Anne, Verbobonc’s new Viscountess.  Remembering the party’s tales of the Lady Marie, and cannily recalling their suspicions, Jespo forms a plan.  His gnomish associates don’t know him well enough to recoil in horror from the thought, and as it sounds like a kind of practical joke, agree.  The delegates from Wonderville contrive to ‘spill’ a little holy water on the Viscountess.

Her flesh immediately burns, and the much-loved ruler of the Land cries out and accuses the group of being assassins sent to kill her.   Now Jespo too, will get to know the rare experience of being trapped inside a stronghold full of angry, _charmed_ soldiers and hunted by a Demon with the abilities to both read his mind and _teleport without error_.

But first, cut to . . .


----------



## (contact)

*Hey, man-- nice sword.*

*Eighteen: “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, / That wants it down” - -Robert Frost
(or, “They’re dead alright . . . they’re all f--ked up.”)*

There are 15 days left until the Great Sacrifice.

The gnomes feast the PCs, and heal them of their wounds.  The party is introduced to Gnomer, Gnomishic’s father, and a powerful cleric of Garl Glittergold.  After hearing of his son’s brave battle, and subsequent death, Gnomer announces that he will be coming to the Temple to take his revenge on the forces of Iuz.

The group begins to plan strategy for their return to the Temple of Elemental Evil.  A pair of wanderers introduce themselves:  C’min, an elven rogue from the High Forest, and Augustin, a human paladin, aspiring to knighthood in the Holy Shielding.  C’min and Augustin see eye to eye on every matter, including the need to aggressively confront Chaos and Evil wherever it may rear its demonic head.  Augustin is pledged to the service of Mayahein, a new deity associated with the worship of Pelor, a faith gaining popularity in Furyondy for Her doctrine of aggressive protection.  C’min is a High Elf, who has chosen the companionship of humans as a result of her impatient nature, as well as frustration with her people’s deliberate, thoughtful approach to combating the ills of the land. 

After administering the holy water test, the party explains their dire situation.  C’min and Augustin both reply that they could ask for no better quest, and join up.

Another addition to the group introduces herself.  Ethel, an elder sorceress, and her misbehaving ferret Sylvester add more spell power to our small band of resistance fighters.   Something in her grandmotherly demeanor is extremely reassuring, and the party neglects to splash her with holy water.  After all, it might ruin her hand-knitted shawl.

The group travels under the cover of daylight, and sneaks into their secret base in the Temple’s dungeons.  C’min and Augustin divest themselves of all non-necessary gear in true adventurer fashion, impressing Heydricus and the others with their competent, professional manner.  Heydricus and the “fresh meat” set out to finally finish exploring the first level, and root out any traces of “reinhabitation”, as C’min clinically puts it.

They return to a room inhabited by manes and wererats, and Heydricus proves resoundingly that he learned from Egil’s advice about the Cleave feat and critical hits solving any problem.  Augustin, despite his greatsword, feels like maybe his blade just isn’t as long as it could be.  C’min seems impressed by Heydricus’ swordplay and comments that it’s not just how long his blade is, it’s what he kills with it that matters most to her.

After all the entendres settle, the trio discover a fantastic treasure:  a suit of elven chain mail lies buried beneath some rags in the werebat’s nest.  C’min, as the only elf present, urges Heydricus to don it, and promises to advance his petition to become an elf-friend should they defeat the plans of the wicked Iuzian priests here in the Temple.

Journeying on, the intrepid adventurers encounter a pair of ghouls in a previously undiscovered antechamber.  A Holy energy burst from Augustin ends the discourse, and as the party pursues the turned ghouls, they discover that a full dozen more of the abominations lie in wait in the next room.  Worse yet, some_thing_ in the room further beyond is undoing Augustin’s turning, and bolstering the remaining undead.  

After hacking their way through a few of the ghouls, the party spots several ghasts protectively surrounding a ghast of menacing proportions.  This nasty is dressed in the livery of an Iuzian priest, and as the party watches in horror, _silences_ Heydricus!  Had Heydricus the voice, he could have named this undead priest, for it is none other than Romag, the Evil cleric from the Well Fiasco (chapter 4).

The ghouls claw and bite at the heroes, with their cleric exchanging turns for bolstering with Augustin until the paladin is paralyzed by a vicious bite.  C’min and Heydricus decide that the better part of valor sounds like a good idea, and drag Augustin’s motionless form from the room, spiking the door behind them.  They haven’t fully escaped the area before the ghast cleric and his minions cut them off, using a previously undiscovered secret door.

Heydricus and C’min fight valiantly, but with two unwounded ghasts still standing (one of them the cleric), C’min is paralyzed.  

Heydricus trades blows until he is wounded so badly that he cannot continue, lest he join his fallen companions on the Other Side.  C’min and Augustin, paralyzed but conscious, are trapped in their frozen bodies, and forced to watch as their only hope leaves them and runs for his life!

The two Ghasts, greedy to the end, pursue the crafty sorcerer, only to be led into a trap.  Heydricus has used his knowledge of the dungeon to his advantage, causing one of the ghasts to fall into a pit.  Heydricus runs through a maze of corridors and intersections until he is back with his fallen friends.  Stripping _potions of cure moderate wounds_ from their belts, Heydricus is able to surprise the returning ghasts, fully healed and thirsting for vengeance!  After disposing of the lesser ghast, and working on the cleric (who is stripped of his spellcasting power by the very same silence spell he put on Heydricus), the issue is decided when Augustin finally shakes off his paralysis, and leaps into the fray.

Relative sword sizes aside, the duo make a deadly combination of fighting prowess, and the Iuzian ghoul cleric is overwhelmed.  His soul is sent to his demonic master with this message:  

_“Whatever you may think you have gained, you will lose.   Wherever you think you are powerful, we will bring you low.  So swears Heydricus, and so swear the Heroes of the Temple”._


----------



## Wulf Ratbane

Dare I say it?

I think the DM went easy on the heroes on this one. 

No pack of slavering ghouls is passing up fresh paralyzed meat for one fleeing sorcerer.

TWO birds in the hand, my friend... 


Wulf


----------



## MTR

I'm sure it was just an oversight by the DM.  Take it easy on the players?  Perish the thought!


----------



## (contact)

> Dare I say it?
> 
> I think the DM went easy on the heroes on this one.




Well, you know what a softie he is.


----------



## Zaruthustran

(contact), who are you playing at this time? Er, at the current time of the story hour, I mean?


----------



## (contact)

At this time, I was playing Jespo, C'min and Augustin.


----------



## Wizardry

Talk about a blast from the past...  Ahh, this story is fun to read again.  I miss the commentary, though.


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## Greybar

Here's the running scores, though I'm unclear on when Sweet Pea comes in and out:

1. Aelniir of the Sheildlands - Ep0 thru Ep2 - 2pts
2. Esril - Ep0 thru Ep2 - 2 pts
3. Gnomishic - Ep0 thru Ep5 - 5 pts
4. Heydricus - Ep0 thru 
5. Reysnole - Ep0 thru Ep2 - 2 pts
6. Whistlin' Pippin Jumpscreek - Ep0 thru Ep1 - 1 pt
7. Ahlana - Ep2 thru Ep3 - 1 pt
8. Sweet Pea - Ep3 thru Ep5, Ep10, 1/2 Ep 12 - 
9. Little Leaf - Ep3 thru Ep5, Ep10 thru Ep10 - 3 pts
10.Suhi - Ep3 thru Ep7 - 4 pts
11.Rose - Ep3 thru Ep15 - 12 pts
12.Tisha - Ep3 thru Ep7 - 4 pts
13.Lucius Maturin - Ep4 thru Ep10 - 6 pts
14.Keriann Croller - Ep6 thru Ep10 - 4 pts
15.Ren Qi - Ep8 thru 
16.Lady Amyryth - Ep8 thru Ep8 - 0 pts
17.Daniere - Ep9 thru Ep10 - 1 pt
18.Prisantha - Ep11 thru 
19.Egil - Ep11 thru 
20.Jespo Crim (and Fräs) - Ep11 thru 
21.Anton Flamehair - Ep14 thru Ep16 - 2 pts
22.C’min - Ep18 thru
23.Augustin - Ep18 thru
24.Ethel - Ep18 thru

Party at this moment
--------------------
Heydricus (18pts)
Sweet Pea (9.5 pts)
Ren Qi (10pts)
Prisantha (7pt)
Egil (7pt)
Jespo (7pt)
C'min (1pt)
Augustin (1pt)
Ethel (1pt)

Good Score, but dead:
---------------------
Rose (12pts)
Lucius (6 pts)
Gnomishic (5 pts)

John


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## (contact)

Aelniir is last!

See, the DM was a rat bastard, no doubt.  But look at his meta-plot against the characters who started the adventure, and you'll see how much worse we could have had it.

Aelniir was a Shieldlander, and aspired to become a Knight of the Holy Shielding.  He would have been caught up in Sir Willam of Willip's nationalistic rabble-rousing in the refugee camps of Knulb.  I just know that whole meta-plot was geared to have Aelniir out in front of the rag-tag army that got crushed at the walls of Verbobonc . . .


----------



## Flash

> “Whatever you may think you have gained, you will lose. Wherever you think you are powerful, we will bring you low. So swears Heydricus, and so swear the Heroes of the Temple”.




<sniffle, sniffle> That's the most beautiful quote I think I've ever heard.


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## Lazybones

Ah, the best part about vacation (okay, maybe not the BEST part), is coming home and finding lots of great updates from my favorite stories to read during "work".  

Now, I can't help but notice that it's Tuesday, and no update...


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## Nail

Lazybones said:
			
		

> *Now, I can't help but notice that it's Tuesday, and no update... *




At least you can get on th' boards.....I can't seems to get on reliably this past week....too much board traffic??


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## fett527

_*singing to (contact)*_

Where 'O where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and thought I'd found true love, you met another and,
 _thpppt_
You were gone!

P.S. 
I hope everyone remembers Hee Haw!


----------



## (contact)

Sorry, I haven't been able to get on the boards recently . . . 

------------------------

*Nineteen:  A kind word is the common coin of peace, the sword is abhorred by all men of character.
(or, If you beat me up, my big brother’s gonna kill you.)*

A search through the cleric’s belongings reveals a vile book (not to be confused with a _book of Infinite Vileness_, or the _Book of Vile Darkness_).  This malign tome details rituals of gruesome and decadent Evil.  Augustin instinctively moves to destroy it, but Heydricus holds him back.  A closer examination of the book reveals the details of a ritual called the Sundering.  It seems this ritual is designed to break the powerful wards the forces of Good placed on the Temple of Elemental Evil generations ago.  In fact, notes written in the Abyssal tongue indicate that the ritual is scheduled for tomorrow, fifteen days before the Great Ritual of Ineffable Evil (not to be confused with the _Tome of Ineffable Evil_).

Heydricus is the first to grasp the implications of such an event.  All the Temple priests gathering together in one place . . . Augustin wants to disrupt the ritual, and prevent the Sundering.  Heydricus has a more subtle plan.  If the priests will all be on the surface level conducting this ritual, who will be guarding the captive children?

After a brief debate, the party warms up to this idea, and settles in to their hideout on the 3rd level to wait for the ritual to begin.  They rest, and regain spells, and are killing time telling _knock_ spell jokes  (“I cast _knock_”  “What’s in the chest?”  “Otyugh”  “Otyugh who?” “Otyu guys going to do with those magic items?”), when a strange disturbance startles the party.  A circular portal of glowing blue light appears at one end of the 10 x 30 room, and from just this side of it comes a _lightning bolt_.  C’min and Ren Qi jump clear, but the rest of the party is hit hard.  A pair of tough-looking wolverines appear next, and the party moves to engage the summoned beasts.  Meanwhile, an _invisible_ rogue creeps into the party’s midst and sneak attacks Augustin and Heydricus.  Fortunately, he misses on both attempts, and as he appears, surrounded by armed PCs, the wretch mutters “f--k this”, and moves to flee.  Pris is ready for him, however, and casts _charm person_.  Bedazzled by her beauty and grace, the rogue ceases hostilities.  Meanwhile, Ren Qi has been trying (in vain) to pound on a spellcaster that he can hear, but not see.  The _improved invisible_ mage knows when her goose is cooked, and _teleports_ to safety before she has to face the Fists of Fury.

“Well, well, well, Mr. Murder-Pants, aren’t you _special_.  Who’s your co-pilot --could it be . . . IUZ!”

The _charmed_ rogue turns out to be a vile assassin, and crowingly admits to being hired by none other than Zinvellon himself to kill the party.  The rogue tells the PCs that Zinvellon really “has a cobb up his ass for you guys”, and had attached this assassin to an Alu-Fiend sorceress by the name of Anna, with the explicit instructions to find and terminate the PCs with extreme prejudice.  Anna _spoke with dead_ on the (twice-slain) corpse of Romag to get a description of C’min and Augustin, then scryed the duo to determine that the party was camping in the dungeon.  She then used repeated _detect secret door_ spells to ferret out the Temple Dungeon’s secret places, until she found the party.  With the assassin’s aid, and summoned help, she’d hoped to count coup on the heroes and advance her station in the Temple’s ranks.  Sorry to disappoint ya, lady.

The party open their maps to the assassin and he helpfully points out that one of the secret areas the party has discovered is unknown to Anna.  New base camp, anyone?  The party quickly (and stealthily) relocates to the new hidden area, and licks their wounds until the ritual.

Heydricus and Prisantha want to use the talents, evil though they may be, of Pris’ new buddy to help rescue the kids.  Pris promises the scoundrel 50,000 gp to aid the party.  He agrees, and pats her posterior with a lecherous leer and a “anything for you, baby”.  Augustin wants to kill him on the spot.  The assassin is not intimidated, and begins to brag about his accomplishments during the Greyhawk wars, all of them pivotal murders.  Worse yet, it seems the mystery of who killed the Viscount of Verbobonc is finally settled.  The wretch ‘admits’ to it readily, and names his patron:  none other than The Old One Himself, Iuz.

Augustin _really_ wants to kill him on the spot.

C’min weighs in with the faction that would put the miscreant to use, and the party spends a tense few hours, the assassin regaling them with tales of his murderous exploits, and Augustin attempting to provoke a fight without overtly opposing the party’s wishes.  

Imagine the relief in the room when the party can _finally_ venture into the lowest level of the deadliest dungeon they’ve ever seen.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman

Charming an asassin and getting him to help them...only this party.

Great stuff!


----------



## (contact)

*What are those monsters doing with our magic items?*

*Twenty:  The first rule of conflict:  What is done to you, return it tenfold.
(or, “I wand him dead!  I wand his family dead!  I wand his house burned to the ground!  Hey, great wand.”)*

The forces of wickedness, with mean-spirited cleverness, have sealed up all exits to the dungeons with _stone shapes_.  Pris is not discouraged, however, and after convincing a wandering giant that she is it’s “bestest friend”, the over-sized under-minded goon smashes through his bosses’ best laid plans, and the PCs have an escape route.  Pris points out the “treasure” in the bottom of the hole, and as the giant sticks his head in to look, the party jumps him, ending the big guy’s reign of stupidity.

The assassin leads them directly to the children, as promised.  The children’s guardians, Ju Ju Zombies, prove no match for Augustin and Gnomer’s turning capabilities, and soon the party is able to square off with the real baddie:  a Babu Demon.  The fight drags out, but in the end, Good prevails.  The children are herded together and out through the secret passage.

The first order of business once the Temple is put behind them is to kill the assassin.  Augustin relishes the duty, and our band of heroes make short work of the villain.  Hey, maybe we _can_ fight 12th level monsters after all.

Gnomer runs on ahead to the hidden grove of forest gnomes, and meets with the camp’s elders:  Eliad Pelgrin, a druid;  Ender OverUnder, a ranger/illusionist;  Fonkin Bastich, a cleric of Garl Glittergold, and Boddyknock Kicker, a fighter.  Gnomer convinces his kinsman to shelter the children, but shortly after getting the orphans settled and fed, gnome scouts return with a report of a large Evil force marching this way.  

Zinvellon wants his sacrifices back.

The gnomes and the PCs plot an ambush in a large clearing next to a lake.  A pair of vulture-headed demons fly reconnaissance, and the party passes the word to shoot them first, with silver arrows.  Two groups of enemy forces show themselves:  a large skirmish force of bugbears and orogs, with a formorian giant in their midst, and a second force comprised of Dretches, a wizard, an orog fighter, and worst yet, a monstrous demonic spider, known as a bebilith.

The main gnomish force tackles the humanoids, while the PCs, bolstered by the gnome worthies assault the demons.  The party gains the initiative, and Eliad _calls lightning_ onto the wizard and fighter.  Fonkin _silences_ the wizard, and Ethel hits him with a _stinking cloud_.  He must have borrowed Jespo’s dice, because his luck utterly deserts him, and he succumbs to all three spells.

Meanwhile, Augustin is learning first hand why most paladins talk more about fighting fiends than they actually fight them.  The bebilith hits him with both sword-like appendages and a bite, destroying his armor, his shield and poisoning him.  If this wasn’t bad enough, as he drinks his _potion of neutralize poison_, the bebilith scores an attack of opportunity, bringing him to single-digit hit points.  Boddyknock charges into the fray, and Fonkin (“fonkin’ A main!”) tests the abyssal spider’s spell resistance, to no avail.

The gnomes in the other group handily bring down the giant, and lay waste to the bugbears (outnumbering them 3 to 1), but are horrifically _mass charmed_ by the two vrocks.  Vrock and roll, dude, demons rule.

Ren Qi and C’min sneak back towards the gagging, _silenced_, blasted mage to finish the job.  The mage’s fighter companion charges toward the bebilith fight, intercepting the monk and rogue.  Eliad sends a half dozen boars and wolves to aid the duo, and soon, the mighty X’im sleeps the eternal sleep, thanks to repeated stun / sneak attack combos from Ren Qi.

Prisantha notes the confusion and in-fighting amongst the gnomish ranks in the other melee, and moves to undo some of the damage the Vrock’s enchantments have done.  Several spells later, she manages to calm the victorious gnomes, and restore some semblance of order.

The bebilith turns its attention to Boddyknock, and poisons him.  A few seconds later, the valiant gnomish fighter lies dead.  Soon thereafter, the Vrocks join the fray, and things look dire indeed.  A _faerie fire_ from Eliad negates one of the Vrock’s _mirror images_, and the party begins to whittle away at the beast.  But the bebilith is a never-say-die sort of Abyssal monstrosity, and despite a successful _ray of enfeeblement_ from Pris, requires all the party’s spellcasting attention to bring down.

The Vrocks key off on Eliad, and he is killed when one of them crits him with both claws, and drops him head-first in a very ungentle way.  Fortunately, Ender OverUnder had the presence of mind to bring his wand of _color spray_ and repeatedly blasts the demon with it, until Ren Qi and Heydricus can kill the beast.  The second Vrock soon follows his companion, but before the party can celebrate, Crynnek, the wizard with the bad luck re-appears and hits the group with a _circle of death_.  Fonkin is the only victim, and as he dies, the party leaps on the wizard, mauling him badly and forcing his surrender.

The battle is over, and the best news yet is that Crynnek, who spent the majority of the fight incapacitated from the first action, is still alive to be questioned.  Heydricus starts things off on the good foot by breaking all of his fingers, then settles down to the real interrogation.  But first, cut to . . .


----------



## Circle of Crows

*Re: What are those monsters doing with our magic items?*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> Gnomer runs on ahead to the hidden grove of forest gnomes, and meets with the camp’s elders:  Eliad Pelgrin, a druid;  Ender OverUnder, a ranger/illusionist;  Fonkin Bastich, a cleric of Garl Glittergold, and Boddyknock Kicker, a fighter. B]





   This is probably the coolest collection of names on this board.


----------



## (contact)

*Re: Re: What are those monsters doing with our magic items?*



			
				Circle of Crows said:
			
		

> *This is probably the coolest collection of names on this board. *




Fonkin' A, main.


----------



## Rel

*Re: What are those monsters doing with our magic items?*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Fonkin Bastich, a cleric of Garl Glittergold*




Does he have a brother named "Fargin"?

No.  Wait.  I must be thinking of "Fargin Icehole" the Snow Dwarf with low Charisma.

Nevermind.


----------



## Lazybones

*gets story hour fix*

Oh yeah, that's the stuff.

*starts looking for next fix*


----------



## (contact)

*For Lazybones, with no further ado . . .*


From Chapter Seventeen:  _A Gnomish delegate offers to accompany Jespo to Verbobonc, where he can warn the people of the coming assault, and perhaps petition Prisantha’s Master to teleport him to Greyhawk.

Jespo and his Gnomish companions are, of course, greeted with all proper urgency and taken directly into the presence of the Lady Anne, Verbobonc’s new Viscountess.  Remembering the party’s tales of the Lady Marie, and cannily recalling their suspicions, Jespo forms a plan.  His gnomish associates don’t know him well enough to recoil in horror from the thought, and as it sounds like a kind of practical joke, agree.  The delegates from Wonderville contrive to ‘spill’ a little holy water on the Viscountess.

Her flesh immediately burns, and the much-loved ruler of the Land cries out and accuses the group of being assassins sent to kill her.   Now Jespo too, will get to know the rare experience of being trapped inside a stronghold full of angry, charmed soldiers and hunted by a Demon with the abilities to both read his mind and teleport without error._


*Interlude: What Mirror Shall Not Prove the Lie?  Part 2.
(or  “You look familiar.  Didn’t you try to kill me before?”)*


Jespo Crim and his illusionist entourage find themselves in the midst of a furious melee.  Fortunately for them, the “Lady Anne” just couldn’t keep her hands off the help, and instead of fighting her 10th level bodyguard, they are facing a 4th level fighter, leading a band of low-level men-at-arms.

Anne, of course, flees as the conflict breaks out, providing one of the illusionists with a perfect opportunity.  He creates an illusion of the Lady herself returning to the council room, and calling for a ceasing of hostility.  This is effective, saving Jespo’s life, as he was fighting “mano-y-mucho-macho-mano” with Arik, Lady Anne’s formerly high-level bodyguard.  The demonic Anne is forced into a re-appearance, making her a target for a _dispel magic_, causing her true form to be revealed.  The Verbobonc guardsmen recoil in terror from the red-eyed, bat-winged fiend that was a moment before their beloved mistress. 

 Jespo announces, “I am in a generous mood!  New saving throws for everyone!”.  The gnomes seize the initiative and dispatch, once and for all, the Succubus of Knulb.

Arik Leglo is crushed to hear the truth.  He has failed, ultimately, in his sworn task.  Jespo cannily seizes on his emotionally distraught state to convince him that his best chance for redemption lies in bodyguarding Jespo.  Apparently, Arik has not heard of Jespo’s track record, because he agrees.

Prisantha’s master is happy to help the cause, and _teleports_ Jespo to Greyhawk where he recovers copies of his spellbooks, and personally briefs Mordenkainen and the Circle of Eight.  Well, not exactly, but he does give a deposition to the second assistant of Mordenkainen’s under-secretary.  Which is kind of like meeting the Eight.  In a way.

An associate mage scrys the PCs for Jespo, revealing them to be questioning some unknown wizard in a clearing awash in demon and gnomish blood.  The mage _teleports_ Jespo and Arik to the scene.

“I’m back!”  Jespo triumphantly announces, surprising his party.  

“Oh, Good Gods, no.”  Ren Qi stammers, as she scrambles to keep the requisite 50 foot distance between herself and the bumbling conjurer.

Jespo and Pris put their conniving heads together, and make the _suggestion_ to the evil wizard that the potion they are handing him will repair his mangled hands.  But the joke is on Crynnek, and Zinvellon’s number one man greedily drinks a _potion of truth_, then proceeds to rat out the entire organization:


----------



## Mathew_Freeman

*Re: For Lazybones, with no further ado . . .*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *But the joke is on Crynnek, and Zinvellon’s number one man greedily drinks a potion of truth, then proceeds to rat out the entire organization: *




LOL  

Nice touch. These players have a very fine sense of how to get the right information out of their prison...er, I mean _valued informants._


----------



## Joshua Randall

This story hour has given me a new appreciation for both illusion and enchantment/charm magic. The way a ruthless and clever party can put those types of magic to use is truly inspiring. I particularly liked the illusion of "Lady Anne" returning to call a halt to the hostilities. Now _that_ was quick thinking.


----------



## Nail

JERandall said:
			
		

> *This story hour has given me a new appreciation for both illusion and enchantment/charm magic. The way a ruthless and clever party can put those types of magic to use is truly inspiring. I particularly liked the illusion of "Lady Anne" returning to call a halt to the hostilities. Now that was quick thinking. *




Very quick thinking.   Uhmmmm....not to put too fine a point on this, but: How did y'all manage it?


----------



## (contact)

Nail said:
			
		

> *Very quick thinking.   Uhmmmm....not to put too fine a point on this, but: How did y'all manage it? *




Manage what?  The quick thinking?


----------



## Nail

(contact) said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Manage what?  The quick thinking? *




Uhhhh........well, yes.

I mean, I'm sure the party is full of quick thinkers.  Full of 'em.  Lots and lots of great ideas.......

**************
Excellent repartee:


> “I’m back!” Jespo triumphantly announces, surprising his party.
> 
> “Oh, Good Gods, no.” Ren Qi stammers, as she scrambles to keep the requisite 50 foot distance between herself and the bumbling conjurer.


----------



## (contact)

No comment.


----------



## (contact)

*New and Improved with Twice the Quick Thinking!*

Previously:  _Jespo and Pris put their conniving heads together, and make the suggestion to the evil wizard that the potion they are handing him will repair his mangled hands.  But the joke is on Crynnek, and Zinvellon’s number one man greedily drinks a potion of truth, then proceeds to rat out the entire organization:_

*Twenty One:  The truth shall set you free.
(or, most evil arises from the neglect of the powerful, but some arises from good old fashioned hard work.)*

Iuz, Oerth’s demi-power of tyranny and cruelty, maintains two groups devoted to overseeing his wars and personal agenda:  The Greater and Lesser Boneheart.  Both organizations are comprised of powerful classed individuals, and they share one common motivation:  Total fear of their master, combined with total distrust for one another.

Zinvellon is a member of the Greater Boneheart, and is known to be in the favor of Iuz.  When Crockport fell to the forces of the Old One, Zinvellon was given it to ‘administer’ - - some would say ‘bleed dry’.    Through no fault of his own, Zinvellon lost Crockport when the Crook of Rao banished the fiends from Greyhawk.  Although this sort of black mark against his name should have been the end of Zinvellon, Iuz has given him one more chance.  Zinvellon was put in charge of the activities in the Temple of Elemental Evil.  Activities, as we shall see, that are critical to the success of Iuz’s plan of war.

The fact that such an important mission was entrusted to such an unreliable agent has not been lost on the other members of the Boneheart.  Aletha, Knull and Jumper, Zinvellon’s “betters” in the Greater Boneheart covet Zinvellon’s assignment and resent him for it.

The Temple has formed an unholy alliance of the following faiths:  Iuzian, led by Zinvellon; those worshiping Grazz’t, a powerful demon lord, led by one Malcom; the priesthood of  Evil Elemental Water, led by Elwin; Zuggtomoy, the Fungal Queen, represented by the compost formerly known as Anschel; and the preistesshood of Lloth, the spider queen, led by a drow elf known as Laera.

These other faiths have thrown in lots with Iuz for one reason and one reason only:  the Old One intends to undo the work of the Crook of Rao.  The Temple itself is the key component to this plan, as it sits in a place where an extremely rare conjunction of magical Ley Lines make it a powerful ritual foci in and of itself. In addition, there is a gate to the Abyss within the depths of the Temple dungeons.  The priesthood of Iuz has had some small success turning back the work of Rao, and this is what is indicated by the expanding red circles on the map found in Anschell’s possession.  The forces of Evil have managed to create an expanding circle against the Crook of Rao, and its effect.   Mystery solved:  it is the Abyssal presence growing in the Temple that has allowed fiends like the Lady Marie to operate in Knulb and Verbobonc.

The Great Ritual, wherein some twenty score children and youths were to be sacrificed, was for the purpose of further extending, and making _permanent_ the area within which fiends can operate.  By rescuing the children, our heroes have dealt Iuz’s war plans a potentially fatal blow.  Without fiends, Iuz cannot hold any territory he might take.  But with demonic help, it is possible that all of Furyondy might fall.

Crynnek is convinced that Zinvellon will attempt to acquire the necessary sacrifices from some other means, and that he will go through with the ritual at all costs.  Zinvellon, you see, is opposed by his left-hand-man, a priest by the name of Helthrax. Helthrax covets Zinvellon’s place, and would do anything to supplant him.  Should the Old One catch wind of the troubles the Temple is having, Zinvellon could count his remaining days on one hand. Helthrax is supported primarily by the Armanites, who were summoned and bound by him.

To complicate Zinvellon’s position, he and Anna (his sorcerer Alu-Fiend) are involved in complex negotiations with demons on the other side of the Abyssal gate.  Those who have trifled in such matters can tell you:  the first mistake will most likely be fatal.  Zinvellon simply cannot afford to have his resources divided at such a critical juncture.  

It seems our heroes have become more than just a thorn in his paw.

Crynnek states that Knulb and Hommlet were not to fall, according to the plan.  It was the actions of the PCs that forced Zinvellon to tip his hand in the region, and attract attention.  He had hoped that the Temple’s presence would remain a secret until the Great Ritual was completed.  Now, with the death of Lady Marie, who was to have the gates opened to the Evil army, the conquest of Verbobonc has failed. 

 Zinvellon has decided to dig in, and ride out the storm.  He has sealed (via cave-in) all exits other than the Temple’s front doors, heavily guarded the ground floor, and warded the entrance with an _antipathy_ effect.

Well, you know what they say:  the best laid plans of abyssal rats and men . . .

Before his immanent execution in the name of all that is Right and True, Crynnek is compelled to point out to the heroes where all of the temple denizens reside.  Of particular concern is determining which areas are occupied by which priesthoods, and where their leaders lair.  The types and homes of all the remaining demons are set forth.  The party learns that the following Abyssal monstrosities yet await them:  An Alu-Fiend, a Nabassu, four Armanites, two score (or more) Dretches, and another Babu.  The PCs now have to wade through these fiends, kill all the high priests in the Temple, and do it in such a way that they can’t get any help in time to make the Great Ritual.  

Just another day at the office. 

If your office has a permanent _gate_ to the worst place in the entire multiverse in its basement.


----------



## Rel

*Re: New and Improved with Twice the Quick Thinking!*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Just another day at the office.
> 
> If your office has a permanent gate to the worst place in the entire multiverse in its basement. *




I've come down with a nasty cold and I've been in a marginally bad mood all day.  The latest post in this Story Hour has been one of the bright spots and I thank you for that, (contact).


----------



## (contact)

*For Rel, and his Cold*

*Twenty Two:  Give us your poor, your downtrodden, your huddled masses,
( . . . and we’ll sacrifice them all to Iuz.)*

Armed with the best intelligence magical compulsion can provide, our heroes map out a plan of assault.  First on the “Least Favored Villains” list is Anna, the Alu-Fiend.  Her scrying ability allows the Temple forces to make telling counterattacks. The head priests of the other evil faiths will certainly need to be dealt with, and there is some talk of just attempting to assassinate Zinvellon directly. To prevent a successful Iuzian ritual, the overall hierarchy must be dealt with in such a way that the top posts remain empty until the time of the sacrifice.   In the end, it is determined that Anna, the Nabassu, Helthrax and Zinvellon must die, in that order.

Jespo introduces the party to the two new members he brought from Verbobonc: the Lady Anne’s personal advisor, known as the Diviner of Mittrik, and Aric, her bodyguard.  Jespo hastily assures the group that he has used no sorcery on them, despite Fräs’ insistence that magical compulsion is the only rational explanation that could account for anyone willingly travelling with Jespo.  Heated words and hisses are exchanged, and in the end, the two have to be restrained and separated.

A quick scouting foray to the Temple determines that Zinvellon has kept his subordinates very busy surrounding the temple grounds with walls, both magical and mundane.  The party also takes note of some half-score of  the elite orcs on patrol during daylight hours, commanded by tough looking half-orcs.   So much for the front door.

They discover that there have indeed been cave-ins blocking the secret passage to the third level.  Jespo comes to the rescue with his sole surviving magic item:  a _ring of elemental command_.  A _stone tell_ spell reveals that the cave-ins are not that deep - - a _passwall_ spell should do the trick.  After creating an entrance into the third level, the PCs find that the secret area has been further sealed by the Iuzian priests.   Jespo’s remaining _passwall_ could bypass the sealed area, but when the PCs consult their map, they realize that they would have to fight their way through the armanites, Helthrax and the Grazz’t worshippers before gaining access to Anna’s lair - - a daunting prospect.

The party hits on a daring scheme. Faced with the possibility of having to fight several battles to reach Anne, the decision is made to use the remaining _passwall_ to burrow south, and hope that the spell will provide a shortcut to her lair.  At stake is a day’s effort, with the clock ticking down - - for if the spell fails to achieve success, the PCs will not be able to enter the Temple’s dungeons.

The spell is successful, but in such a way as the PCs could never have imagined.  The _passwall_ opens a conduit to a strange, lozenge-shaped chamber.  In the center of the chamber is a coffin on a stone riser, with a mysterious scroll lying next to the podium.  The coffin’s massive steel lid lies on the floor nearby.  Inside the coffin is a still human form, dressed entirely in black, pierced through the heart by a wooden stake.  The figure is pale, as if bloodless.

The scroll contains two _bull’s strength_ spells, and a short inscription, entreating any readers to use their “new found strength” to seal the coffin, trapping the evil within.

A search of the room reveals nothing, but C’min is not convinced.  She points out that there must be a hidden door, else this chamber would have no opening at all.  A careful, time consuming search ensues, and a secret portal is located.  Even the elf women C’min and Ren Qi are impressed by the clever construction, and declare it a masterwork.

Examining the body reveals no further clues.  Eventually (and despite his track record), Jespo convinces the group that they must remove the stake.  When the party attempts to do so, the illusory nature of the stake is revealed.  They remove the body from the coffin, and the illusion of a vampire is dispelled.  In its place lies a man, dressed in clothes of regal tailoring, if a few decades out of current fashion.

Removing him from the coffin seems to break the spell keeping him still, and the man hazily thanks his rescuers.  He names himself as none other than Prince Thrommel!

Thrommel’s name is associated with a dark chapter in Furyondian history.  This young man who has languished so many years in _temporal stasis_ is the son of the King of Furyondy himself, King Belvor I.  Thrommel was the heir to the Furyondian throne, but he disappeared years ago, a fortnight before his wedding to a Lady of Veluna was to seal a political marriage between the two good-aligned states.

A brief questioning of the groggy prince reveals the following:  He was kidnapped by Iuzian priests in their successful attempt to disrupt the alliance between the two powerful kingdoms.  They placed him in their most secret room in the Temple of Elemental Evil, shortly before the Temple was first sacked.  Apparently, the secret of where Thrommel was kept died with his captors in that first historic battle.

Heydricus is the first to bend knee to Thrommel, pledging his life for the prince.  Aric, lady Anne’s former bodyguard also is quick to swear an oath that he will protect the young Prince with his life (much to Jespo’s chagrin, as the wily conjurer had convinced Aric to guard _him_!).

There is a brief discussion about the abandoning their mission in the Temple in order to return Thrommel to the court of Furyondy, but the Prince will have none of it.  After hearing the Awful Truth, he concedes that stopping Zinvellon’s cruel plan takes precedence even over the safety of His Royal Person, and he commands the party to continue on.

Jespo has shifted gears, and speaks privately with the rest of the group about how a close alliance with the Heir to the Furyondian throne could dramatically improve their prospects.  Faced with their grim task, the party is repulsed by Jespo’s timing, but agrees in principle that it is in the best interests of all if Thrommel comes to no harm.  

Heydricus and C’min note the gleam in Thrommel’s eye when Ren Qi recounts her recent battles, and the fervor with which the young Prince praises the party’s noble dead.  Although the group manages to extract a promise from Thrommel that he will remain out of any fighting, privately, Heydricus and C’min agree that an archon has a greater chance in the ninth layer of Hell.

The group exits via the masterwork secret door, and soon discovers that, according to Crynnek’s descriptions, they are very near the lair of Anna, the Alu-Fiend sorceress.


----------



## (contact)

*A Current Accounting of the Quick and the Dead.*

*Those Who Struggle On:*

 - *Aelniir*, a human paladin of Pelor, loved by all for his sunny personality and his gigantic sword.
 - *C’min*, an elven rogue and linguist, cunning opponent of Evil.
 - *Fräs*, a long-suffering cat, bound against her will into the service of that self-important conjurer Jespo, Fräs undermines Jespo’s confidence at every turn.
 - *Gnomer*, a gnomish cleric of Garl Glittergold, famed for his feisty temper.
 - *Heydricus*, a handsome and rugged sorcerer who has recently discovered that he possesses a righteous zeal to Kick Evil Ass.
 - *Jespo Crim*, an anemic human conjurer, given to quarreling with his foul-tempered familiar Fräs.
 - *Prisantha*, a stunningly beautiful half-elven enchantress, given to deep thinking and mental manipulations.
 - *Ren-Qi*, a female elven monk, she is a silent and deadly force . . . well, okay, she’s just silent.  Except when she’s complaining about Jespo.  Or the food, or the weather . . .


*The Honored Dead (in order of demise):*

 - *Whistlin' Pippin Jumpscreek*, an industrious and much loved halfling rogue, bludgeoned to death by doppelgangers, then eviscerated.  (Or vice-versa, later witnesses could not say for sure.)
 - *Esril*, an Almorian expatriate, human fighter and lay follower of Kelanen Sword Saint, buried in a closed coffin thanks to Laereth and his staff of striking.
 - *Reysnole*, a half-elven druid and lover of gentle things, perished from one too many unnatural openings in his torso.
 - *Aelniir*, a crusading cleric of Tritherion, slain by dragon-breath outside the Moathouse.  (And of course the withering volley of arrows he took outside the moathouse, and technically you have to hand this one to Lareth’s henchmen, even though they aren’t even named in the story, because they stabbed him so many times).
 - *Ahlana*, a crafty yet cowardly cleric of Boccob and devoted wizardess, shot in the back by assassins as she took her Last Sip.
 - *Gnomishic*, a wizard and rogue, rended limbs-from-torso by devils.
 - *Isuld*, Esril's protégé and unfortunate recipient of an unrequested decapitation via beholder. 
- *Suhe*, a former jester turned monk, disappeared under mysterious circumstances.
 - *Tisha*, a gentle and shy wizardess with a taste for invocations, made headless with a blunt instrument by ogres.
 - *Lady Amyryth*, a human paladin, slain by the succubus posing as the Lady Anne.
 - *Lucius Maturin*, a human rogue and “inquisitor”, rendered into an Evil but very devout paste by giants.
 - *Sister Keriann Croller* (“It’s Keriann!”), a staunch (if elderly) nun of St. Cuthbert, vaporized from the shoulders up by giants.
 - *Daniere*, a human fighter, voted “Least likely to be remembered over drinks by her former adventuring companions”, killed by something or other right around the time Sister Keriann died.  Or did she die with Egil?  No, no, we gave her masterwork arrows to Egil, so she must have died with Little Leaf against the giants.  Was she the tall one?
 - *Little Leaf*, a forest elf of unusually sour disposition, perished when his skeleton was rendered suddenly dysfunctional, due to a sudden and massive blunt trauma.
 - *Rose*, human ranger, details withheld at the request of her surviving family.
 - *Anton Flamehair*, human invoker, killed by his adventuring companion and oldest friend in an unfortunate friendly-fortress-fire incident.
 - *Egil*, a human fighter, could not outrun the entire Army of Evil.


----------



## wolff96

*Re: A Current Accounting of the Quick and the Dead.*

Thanks for the update... It's hard to keep everyone straight!



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *C’min*, an elven rogue and linguist, cunning opponent of Evil.




So she's a cunning linguist?


----------



## Nail

*Re: Re: A Current Accounting of the Quick and the Dead.*



			
				wolff96 said:
			
		

> *...So she's a cunning linguist?   *




!!!!!      Whoa, is that bad..........


----------



## Vargo

#include <std_erics_grandma_comment.h>


----------



## Thorntangle

(contact) - Any chance the artwork will start up again? Some of these classic scenes are just begging for it.


----------



## (contact)

What scene would you like to see Illustrated, Thorntangle?


----------



## Avarice

(contact) said:
			
		

> *What scene would you like to see Illustrated, Thorntangle? *




Well, I can't speak for Thorntangle, but I for one would love to see Jespo's intimate encounter with green slime illustrated.  Oh, and since I haven't piped up before, I'd like to thank you for sharing this with us, (contact).  Wonderful stuff.  Your DM is truly inspiring in his sadism!


----------



## Piratecat

I'd like to see the post-Daern's-Tower scene illustrated SO VERY MUCH!


----------



## Thorntangle

Avarice said:
			
		

> *Well, I can't speak for Thorntangle, but I for one would love to see Jespo's intimate encounter with green slime illustrated.  Oh, and since I haven't piped up before, I'd like to thank you for sharing this with us, (contact).  Wonderful stuff.  Your DM is truly inspiring in his sadism!  *



Yes! I had been thinking the green slime encounter, or a typical scene of Jespo and Fräs squaring off.

Or maybe a drawing of the gnome-fueled battle royale by the lake.


----------



## (contact)

*Pitchers?*

Okay, by popular demand, two new pictures are up:

*Why, gods above, didn't they just take my cat?*

*Hellooo?  Where is everybody?*


----------



## zoroaster100

*Classic moments!*

There are several great story hours and several great characters in them, but for me, Jespo and his cat are the most memorable of all.  (Contact), thanks for the illustrations of two of his classic moments.  Surely the "Daern Incident" captures the essesnce of Jespo's travails in the Temple of Elemental Evil.


----------



## madriel

Did Jespo get beat up by the other apprentices at wizard's school for that hat?  It suits him so well.


----------



## Piratecat

I love, love, LOVE the Daern's Tower picture. It sums up everything good about the campaign. (contact), when I was first reading this, *that* was the point that I sat straight up in disbelief and woke up KidC. At 3am.


----------



## Rel

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *I love, love, LOVE the Daern's Tower picture. It sums up everything good about the campaign. (contact), when I was first reading this, that was the point that I sat straight up in disbelief and woke up KidC. At 3am. *




The best thing about this picture to me is that "leather-wig-with-a-chin-strap" headgear he's got going on.  Does that provide some sort of bonus to AC?  I never really pictured him that way, but now I do.  And madriel is right:  It really suits him.


----------



## Thorntangle

Great art! Reading this story hour makes me wish I had gotten into story hours when you were originally posting this. Thanks for reposting it.


----------



## Ciaran

So...  how _do_ you pronounce "C'min"?

- Eric


----------



## Vargo

C'Min?

My guess:

See (as in to look)
Min (as in minnow)

Put 'em together for the whole kahuna.


----------



## fett527

Just thought I'd poke my head in and say I'm still getting tremendous enjoyment from this.  I just caught up after not reading this last week.

Oh, Rel and Thorntangle Small Beginnings has been updated this week.  Pay particular attention to the tip o' the day!


----------



## (contact)

C'min and Augustin were the 1st PCs I made with the 3e PH, and so I named them after Henry (the current moderator's) .sig "C'mon August!"

I pronounce C'min suh-MEEN, but kuh-MOHN is probably how she pronounces it.



			
				madriel said:
			
		

> *Did Jespo get beat up by the other apprentices at wizard's school for that hat?  It suits him so well. *




:lol  Yes, I'm sure they did.



> _Originally posted by Rel_
> The best thing about this picture to me is that "leather-wig-with-a-chin-strap" headgear he's got going on. Does that provide some sort of bonus to AC? I never really pictured him that way, but now I do. And madriel is right: It really suits him.




Man, you guys are cold.  Do you know how long it took Jespo's mother to embroider his wizard's mark on that thing?


----------



## incognito

*chap 13?*

Hi (contact),

I can't find chap 13 - did it get edited out?


----------



## (contact)

No, I left it out for luck.  And it worked, too.  All the characters had a lot of luck, except for Jespo.  And everyone other than Jespo.

I'm only able to get to the boards from time to time, so I'll post when I can, y'all.


----------



## (contact)

*A fine mist of blood where a person used to be*

*Twenty Three:  “What has gone before us, let it be never forgotten.  The blood of martyrs stains my robe.”
(or,  “All you need is love, but sometimes a triple crit comes in handy.”)*

C’min scouts ahead of the party, and is so stealthy that she even begins to doubt her own existence.  She reports that there is a forked hallway ahead.  To the right is a formorian giant, singing pornographic sailor-chants to itself.  To the left, a beautiful woman sits at a desk, studying from scrolls.  

A plan is hastily formed.  C’min will sneak up on Anna, and will be followed by Heydricus and the mages.  Meanwhile, Augustin and Aric will wait in ambush for her Formorian bodyguard, who is sure to be roused.

The first part is successful.  C’min positions herself so close to the Alu-Fiend that a casual observer might get the wrong idea (!), and waits to strike.  Anna does have preternatural hearing, however, and as the spellcasters creep up on the room, she takes notice - - hearing their slippered feet even over the din of giant singing.  Anna quietly removes a wand from her desk and levels it at the entrance to her chamber.

As Heydricus and the others round the corner, C’min strikes!  Except she rolls a 1, and misses her sneak attack badly.  Worse, she stumbles into the path of the _lightning bolt_ that screeches from the ready wand.  A second 1 indicates that she fails to evade the blast, and takes the brunt of it, square in the chest.  

C’min is blown off her feet and lies convulsing on the ground.

Heydricus races forward, and after two 20’s in a row, followed by a 19, he has dealt some 60+ points of damage to the Alu-Fiend, and her midsection has been sprayed all over the room, as well as all over the astonished Ren Qi.  Heydricus opens his mouth to say something along the lines of “_Fear me_”, but looses his voice when he gets a taste of the bits of fiend staining his face.

Jespo and Heydricus attend to C’min’s horrible burns, and are relieved to find that her magic items are intact.  I mean, relived to find out that she’s still alive.

Pris, Ren Qi and Rose hasten out into the hallway, and help the warriors make short work of the clumsy formorian.  Gnomer uses his divine gifts to restore C’min to readiness, and after collecting Anna’s wand, a magical ring, and the various papers in her desk, the party presses on.

According to their intelligence, the Nabbasu’s lair must be nearby.  Disappointingly, the room that the fiend should be in contains only a pack of ghouls.  These ghouls prove resistant to turning, and unusually tough.  As the battle draws out, some of the shadows in the room seem to detach themselves from the wall, and form into the disturbing shape of a monstrous winged humanoid, with blazing red eyes.  In a flash, the thing falls on Augustin, and rends him terribly, dropping his limp form to the ground.  As the paladin’s life blood spills out onto the dusty stone floor, the battle grows desperate.  Aric is the next to fall, and Thrommel casts aside his promise with a shout, bringing his magical blade to bear.

When the last blow is struck, the fiend melts away into nothing, taking with it the lives of two companions.  The group quietly retreats to the secret area to rest, and mourn.  C’min takes Augustin’s loss philosophically, and shares with the group his fervent wish to fall in battle with a truly worthy foe.

The Diviner of Mittrik explains that if the party remains inside tents, any scrying spellcaster would be able only to discern their immediate environment, and have no way to determine whether they were indoors or outside.  It seems that finally, the party can rest safely, without fear of attack.


----------



## Circle of Crows

*Re: A fine mist of blood where a person used to be*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> [C’min scouts ahead of the party, and is so stealthy that she even begins to doubt her own existence...
> 
> 
> 
> ... C’min positions herself so close to the Alu-Fiend that a casual observer might get the wrong idea (!)...
> 
> 
> 
> ...Jespo and Heydricus attend to C’min’s horrible burns, and are relieved to find that her magic items are intact.  I mean, relived to find out that she’s still alive...
> [/B]






  (contact)- if you're curious, lines like that are why I keep coming ack to this post.


----------



## Plane Sailing

*Re: A fine mist of blood where a person used to be*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *As the battle draws out, some of the shadows in the room seem to detach themselves from the wall, and form into the disturbing shape of a monstrous winged humanoid, with blazing red eyes. In a flash, the thing falls on Augustin, and rends him terribly, dropping his limp form to the ground. As the paladin’s life blood spills out onto the dusty stone floor, the battle grows desperate. . *



*

What was this creature?*


----------



## Nail

*Re: Re: A fine mist of blood where a person used to be*



			
				Circle of Crows said:
			
		

> *(contact)- if you're curious, lines like that are why I keep coming ack to this post. *




Me too.  This is great stuff.

BTW: How many have us have seen this very same thing happen:


> As Heydricus and the others round the corner, C’min strikes! _Except she rolls a 1, and misses her sneak attack badly._ Worse, she stumbles into the path of the lightning bolt that screeches from the ready wand. A second 1 indicates that she fails to evade the blast, and takes the brunt of it, square in the chest.




One of the people I played with always seemed to have luck like this.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman

> _originally posted by (contact)_*
> It seems that finally, the party can rest safely, without fear of attack.
> *




Uh-huh. I've heard that before. Something tells me that something is gonna happen.

Not like things don't happend all the time around here, but you get my point.


----------



## incognito

> *from chap 2*
> 
> The refugee-turned-mercenary spills his guts on the moathouse garrison, how the Priest of Prazrael was planning to attack the Iuzian worshippers in the Temple, his troop strength, how many thieves are left in the group, spellcasters, etc. He even describes Laereth's 'pet': A big lizard with wings & a long tail, two little horns . . . all told about 15' long. Ahlana sagely questions the fellow: "Does it ever walk backwards?" No. "Does it ever speak in unrecognizable phrases?" Never. "Does it smell like brimstone? Does it eat treasure?" No, and no. Satisfied, she pronounces to the party that it is definitely not a dragon.




I wonder if this was the same player who told the party not to worry about scrying...


----------



## (contact)

Er, Ahlana was my PC.  I knew it was a dragon, the other players knew it was a dragon, and the DM knew we knew it was a dragon, but it was funny that the party's 'sage' would confidently proclaim it wasn't a dragon.  Like the books she'd been reading weren't very accurate.



> What was this creature?




I don't know for sure, I think it was a nabassu . . .  (?)  That description is all we got.

----------

Thanks for the kind words, y'all!  Only a few more chapters left.


----------



## (contact)

*The end of the beginning*

*Twenty Four:  “The ability to gain victory by changing and adapting according to the opponent is called genius.”  - - Sun Tzu, The Art of War 
or, “Well, I’m out of ideas.  Let’s let the mage decide.”*

Heydricus, C’min, Ren Qi, Ethel, Prisantha, Gnomer and Thrommel remain to pursue their course.  Thrommel, much to Jespo’s chagrin, vows to remain with the group to the bitter end.  The Diviner of Mittrik is sent on a desperate errand to the court of Furyondy to inform the King of his son’s return, and the party’s plight.  It is believed that the Diviner’s courtly status and his shocking news may prevent war between Furyondy and Verbobonc.  But even the most optimistic estimates cannot predict any hope of military aid arriving in time to put a stop to Zinvellon and his Master’s scheme.

The party tends to the bodies of the fallen, and prepares them for travel, taking care to hide them from scrying eyes.  After resting, they stealthily return to the lair of Anna, and search it thoroughly, noting that no one seems to have disturbed the battlesite.  In the library of the Alu-Fiend the party discovers four scrolls.  _Read magic_ determines that two are divine scrolls of the highest sort - - those that possess the ability to return the dead to life.   The third contains a _limited wish_.  The fourth and last scroll, when read, instantly summons a Babu.  The demonic fiend prepares to shred the nearest mortal, when quick thinking (and a _suggestion_ spell) from Prisantha convinces the demon that there are a horde of lesser Baatezu in the next room.  It dashes off to maul its ancestral enemies, and the party dashes off to the surface to decide what to do with the scrolls.

The debate is simple, and in the end, brief.  Is it better to use these scrolls to return two fallen companions to life, or hold them against the death of a currently living member.  The conclusion reached is that success against the Temple is the paramount concern, and nine heads are better than seven.  The _limited wish_ scroll is saved against emergency.

That decided, the question of who to raise is next.  If it were for love, Esril or Tisha would be high on the list.  For practical purposes, Egil might be best, but his body was never recovered.  Keriann could bring both fighting capability and healing power to the group.  Keriann it is, but who will be the second?  The party splits down the middle between Tisha and Esril.  It falls to Heydricus to cast the deciding vote, and he chooses the swordswoman from Almor.  The party takes a grim oath:  the nine that now face off against the forces of Chaos and Evil will all be there to celebrate a victory.

_Speak with dead_ is employed to assure that both of the chosen wish to return to the mortal plane, and when affirmations are given, the spells are cast.  Groggy and weak (and smelling like dirt), the two women embrace their companions and rejoice in the renewed opportunity to combat Evil.

Jespo secretly takes Esril aside and assures her, in his most confidential tones, that even though the descision was split, he voted for her.  Esril, never one for subterfuge, takes Jespo at his word, and thanks him, promising one day to return the favor.

Prisantha is able to discover that it was Anna’s magical ring that allowed the Alu-Fiend to enlist the aid of so many giants.  Furthermore, the ring removed from Crynnek’s clutching corpse is a meta-magic ring enhancing summoning spells.  It allows the caster to summon “over her head”,  calling more powerful creatures than normal, and keeping them present for a full day.  Prisantha uses Crynnek’s ring to summon a few Celestials:  lantern archons - - beautiful motes of light that radiate the joy of the noble planes.  Jespo’s jealousy of the ring practically drips from his open mouth, and he casts a few scathing comments Prisantha’s way, dismissing her craft as “provincial magic”.   Prisantha points out how she is coming to understand Fräs’ point of view, and swears that no matter what should happen to her in the dungeon, Jespo will _never_ get his clutches on her ring!  

Helthrax is next on the “to do” list, and the now sizable party travels to his area of the dungeon, discovering an octagonal room with four doors at the cardinal directions.  From behind three of the doors comes the sounds of shod hooves on stone, and a low rumbling in a language C’min recognizes as Abyssal.  The armanites, at last.

The party kicks in a door, surprising the two fiends within.  Heydricus, Ren Qi and Gnomer attack one, and the spellcasters target the second.  Things are going well, but as might be expected, the remaining armanites join the fray, six in all.  One of the beasts is _charmed_, and while the fighting is vicious and brutal, the cause of Good prevails.

Leaving the amanite’s lair, the group travels south and west, C’min and Ren Qi scouting ahead.  Rounding a corner, the rogues spy a fountain, bubbling with a white, brackish liquid.  Hovering next to the fountain is a spectral figure, a translucent female form, with long wisping hair.  Her eyes are shot through with white, and her delicate elven face is contorted in a mask of agony.  She turns to face the rogues and whispers a courtly greeting in elvish.

In a footrace, they discover, Ren Qi is decidedly faster than C’min, and is the first to return to the party with the dreadful news.  Mere seconds later, an awful wailing is heard.  The _charmed_ armanite breaks rank and flees.  The remaining PCs are horribly thrust into a world of excruciating sound, shook to the core of their belief in life.  The experience is so terrifying that C’min stops breathing for a few seconds, and Heydricus collapses, his heart ruptured by the strain.

The party scatters.  Some members flee randomly, while others stick together and sever the banshee’s tenuous hold on unlife, banishing the spirit from the material plane.  The survivors gather Heydricus’ body and return to the armanite’s lair.  Ren Qi and C’min are sent out to find and gather the lost party members.

As the adventurers are regrouping in the small chamber now smeared with the foul ichor that passes for blood in Abyssal monstrosities, footsteps are heard approaching.  In an attempt to beguile whatever unfriendly being approaches, Prisantha quickly uses magic to disguise herself as the banshee and positions herself in the doorway, moaning ominously.

The tall, feral man who approaches her seems not the least afraid, and as he comes fully into the party’s light, his priestly rainments become clear.  An Iuzian of legendary depravity, the priest called Helthrax speaks.  

“What are you doing here, love, so far from where I bound you?”

Helthrax is not fooled by the ruse, and strikes Prisantha where she stands, instigating a furious melee.  The party lands telling blows, but the wicked priest calls upon the power of his dread master, conjuring a cloud of inky blackness that sucks the very life from the combatants.  For the second time, Esril is slain by an evil priest.

Helthrax calls on all the unhallowed magic at his disposal, summoning a _flame strike_ on Jespo and Gnomer.  The conjurer and priest manage to avoid the worst of it, but Fräs, who chose that moment to worm free of Jespo’s clutches, is struck full on by the pillar of fire, and is instantly killed.  Jespo wails and falls to the ground protectively over the charred cat corpse crying out, “No, no . . . _It should have been me_, Fräs!”

The rest of the party is not so anguished over the loss of the disagreeable feline, and continues the fight.  Good is triumphant, proving more than a match for the fell cleric in raw destructive power, and soon Helthrax’s fetid corpse is doused in holy water.  The group readies the bodies of Esril and Heydricus for transportation with a practiced ease.  Jespo cries softly to himself, stroking the crisp, blackened form of his former familiar.

A search of Helthrax’s quarters turns up a third scroll containing the spell _raise dead_.  Freed from the difficult choice of which companion to return to life, the group retreats to their hiding spot on the third level, confident that they will be unseen.  

Prisantha remains distant from the others, immersed in conversation with the lantern archons.

Jespo demands that the party use either their _raise dead_ or _limited wish_ to return Fräs to life.  His suggestion is not taken seriously, but his wild-eyed demeanor does cause some concern.  Jespo, rebuked, takes to alternately conversing with Fräs’ scorched body and crying.  He bemoans the fact that he never studied invocations, because he now wishes to make the Iuzians pay in kind for their most foul murder.  He begins an earnest study of the sections of Anton’s spell books not completely obscured by blood.  His muttered implications that the party are somehow responsible by denying him resurrection magic fall on deaf ears.  

Heydricus’ corpse is awakened by a kiss from Prisantha (and a _raise dead_), but Esril proves troublesome.  Just when it seems that the _limited wish_ will fail, she rises.  But she has changed.  She tells the party that she has been blessed by her patron Kelanen, and is now a vested priestess, in addition to her fighting ability.  She is filled with the faith that Kelanen has given her this gift that she might take revenge on all Evil priests (since they keep killing her).

The party looks at their list:  

Anna, did her.  

The Nabassu, did it.  

Helthrax and the armanites, did ‘em.  

That leaves either the Grazz’t worshippers, or the most vile adversary in the whole Temple, Zinvellon.

“_F--k it, homes_.”

The party crafts a strategy to avoid the _antipathy_ spells protecting the fourth level.  They intend to use their partial map of the fourth level (made when the children were rescued) to approximate where on the third level they could use _passwall_ to burrow through the floor and gain access.

They settle the matter, and lay down for the night, each hero keenly aware that tomorrow, the battle will be decided, once and for all.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman

Ooooh! Good stuff! When's the (final?) update?


----------



## (contact)

There are three more posts, and the epilouge.  We're almost there!


----------



## (contact)

*The Big Brawl*

*Twenty Five:  “The power of the night, the press of the storm . . .  the Arch Fear in a visible form” 
- - Robert Browning, Prospice
or, “Oh, I’m sorry, was that my blood you slipped in?”*

During the night, the party is shaken from their slumber by an earthquake.  It is brief, but disturbing.  Once awakened, the party sees Jespo reading by candlelight, muttering arcane phrases to himself and crying.

The next day, C’min receives a _darkvision_ spell and leaves the party’s lair to scout.  She consults her map, and stealthily moves throughout the complex until she finds a suitable place for Jespo’s _passwall_.  Returning to the group, she has strange tidings to report.  Apparently, there has been a recent battle in the Temple dungeons.  Scores of humanoid corpses, both Iuzian and others, lie where they fell.  The third level is otherwise deserted.  Scorch marks and vile residue hint that powerful magics were used while the party slept, perhaps accounting for the tremor felt during the night.

Before leaving their sanctum, Prisantha _summons_ Celestials to her side - - the lantern archons from the day before return to help, and bring a hound archon with them.  The Celestials greet the party, and give their blessing to the day’s affairs.

The group has no trouble burrowing through the floor, and descends into a chamber off of the main hallway leading to the Temple’s inner sanctum.  A lone formorian giant is the only nearby denizen, and Prisantha handily brings him under her sway using Anne’s _ring of formorian giant control_.

The party scouts away from the main hallway, and quickly stumbles into an Evil _antipathy_ effect.  Divination magic reveals that there are no living beings in that direction, so the decision is easily made to avoid that part of the complex.  Travelling toward the inner sanctum, however, produces different results.

C’min scouts ahead, and notices several human rogues guarding the entry into the main chamber.  She slips past them, and is greeted by a startling sight.  Zinvellon himself is in the back of a huge temple, dressed in ritual robes, preparing some sort of invocation.  He is attended by a pair of lesser priests, and guarded by formorian giants, a score of orcs, a half-dozen or more wererat rogues and Egil.  The stalwart fighter stands in an eerily familiar pose.  On his guard, the warrior still bears the marks of his death-blow, his undead corpse peering about the room with a malign intelligence.

C’min returns with the news, and it is determined that she should use her stealth to cross the room, and position herself for a sneak attack on Zinvellon.  That would be the signal for the rest of the party to begin.  Heydricus sips a _potion of heroism_, Ethel a _potion of fly_, and Gnomer prepares the party with protective spells.

*“And it would have worked, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling undead!”*

The plan goes awry from the first moment.  As C’min makes her way to the midpoint of the chamber, Egil spots her with his undead senses and gives a warning.  The party takes that as their cue, and begins the opening volley of a lethal assault.  Zinvellon and Egil are the targets of a _lightning bolt_, disrupting the ritual.  The wererats suffer magical attacks from Jespo, and attacks from Gnomer and Ren Qi.  Heydricus charges forward to lend aid to C’min.  Thrommel and Keriann begin a melee with the orcs near the entrance, and Prisantha magically convinces the formorians in the room to turn on their master.  Ethel strikes Zinvellon with a _fireball_, harming him and severely wounding his underpriests.  The formorians turn on their master, and ignoring attacks of opportunity from the surprised orcs, begin thumping the villains around the altar.  Egil manages an answering blow, but in the end, his animated corpse cannot withstand the giant’s attacks.  After the first few seconds, the PCs have cause to be optimistic.

Then the Abyss breaks loose.

More wererats and priests emerge from nearby hiding places, and Heydricus is _held_.  C’min begins a grim defensive struggle.  Badly wounded by enemy missile fire, she attempts to fight her way to Gnomer and Keriann.  Gnomer uses a _dimensional anchor_ to ensure that Zinvellon won’t be going anywhere soon.

Ren Qi shows her stuff, and charges to Heydricus’ side, beating severely the priest who was hoping to _coup de grace_ the sorcerer, but takes a beating herself, and is soon in dire straits.  Ethel flies to the end of the chamber, all the better to _fireball_ Zinvellon and his retinue.

Zinvellon attempts to invoke his _word of recall_, but is foiled by Gnomer’s spell, and unleashes a stream of uniquely debauched profanity.   He next utters an _unholy word_, stunning the PCs near him, and cries out for abyssal aid.  His pleas are heard, and it seems the vile priest has, in fact, made a pact with a powerful abyssal lord, who appears to aid him.  The demon is 25’ tall, and appears as a winged red-skinned humanoid wreathed in fire, brandishing a flaming greatsword.  The balor regards Zinvellon with contempt and replies that he shall have his Demonic Army.  A round score of cambion demons appear within the room and begin menacing the PCs.  Suddenly, the rooms to either side of the inner sanctum are flooded with a swarm of least Tan’nari - - a dretch horde.  The dretches begin flooding into the chamber, numbering in the hundreds, and threaten to overrun all combatants, both Good and Evil in their mindless bloodlust.

Suddenly, at the opposite end of the chamber appears a magnificent, beautiful winged man.  He is 12’ tall, and seems wreathed in a golden nimbus of living light.  He addresses the balor, using its abyssal name, and the two lock eyes in a titanic battle of the wills.  The sword archon raises his arms in a gesture like an embrace, and from the outer chambers, hundreds upon thousand of motes of light wink into existence, one lantern archon for every dretch.  

The archons summoned by Pris grow excited and exclaim “O great Lord!  You heed our call!”.  Apparently, Prisantha’s celestial friends had informed their superiors about Iuz’s activities in the Temple, and those superiors told their superiors and so on and so on, until word had  reached the very pinnacle of Mt. Celestia.  Bureaucracies _can_ work efficiently, after all.  If you’re in a Perfect World.

While the opposing hordes of demons and celestials manifested, the combat had ground to a halt, with each side waiting to see who would win.  Almost at once, everyone in the room realizes that the balor and archon have reached a stalemate, and the victor would be determined by the forces on the floor.  A giant stares at an orc who is watching a wizard look at the evil priest who is regarding the prince as he faces a wererat.  And with a fierce yell, the fighting starts up again.

Zinvellon takes the initiative to _heal_ himself before the three formorians can transmute him into a priestly paste.   The cambions start making trouble for everyone, and the situation gets tight.  Ethel begins saturation bombing the back area where Zinvellon is hiding with what would be the first of five _fireballs_.  
.  
Prisantha places a _stinking cloud_ in the midst of the largest group of foes, but in so doing divides the battlefield, channeling all the enemies toward the party, and stranding Heydricus.

Meanwhile, at the front of the room, Jespo has stopped fighting and is staring at the celestial.  He tugs on the celestial’s toga.  “Excuse me, sir?”  He begins, lifting Fräs’ corpse up to the archon’s vision.

“Not now, Jespo.  Fight evil,” commands the celestial.

“This is my cat Fräs.”

“I know who your cat was, Crim.  Fight Evil.”

“Well, sir, I believe that Fräs was murdered before her time, sir.  Perhaps . . .”

“You who have come so far, would you abandon your charge now?  Go to battle!”

“But you _could_ raise my cat?  She means so much to me.”

“Yes. Yes, I will.  NOW FIGHT!”

“Do you promise?”

“I gave you my word, Jespo Crim!  Dare you doubt the honor of a celestial born?”

“I suppose I do not.  But I’ll keep my eye on you.”

C’min manages to defeat her immediate foes, and slips into the shadows, intending to stay there and out of danger until the fight is over.  But she spots a cambion rogue moving into position to sneak attack Keriann, and cannot stay in hiding.  C’min sneak attacks the rogue before the rogue can sneak attack, and with Keriann’s help, they kill the fiend.

Ren Qi finds herself surrounded by cambions and evil priests, and realizes that she must win free to where Thrommel, Esril and Gnomer are fighting.  She braves the attacks of opportunity, and uses her amazing speed to dash across the room.  She draws off most of her enemies, saving Heydricus’ life in the process.

The formorian giants are by now severely weakened and look soon to fall.  But they have played havoc with Zinvellon’s retinue, killing his under priests and Egil, and forcing Zinvellon himself to retreat into an outer-chamber where he is vulnerable to Ethel’s _fireballs_.

Unfortunately, with the cambions thrown in the mix, the giants are outnumbered and begin to die, one by one.  During this time, Jespo marks his return to the battle by casting an _Evard’s black tentacles_ spell into the opposite side of the room from Prisantha’s _stinking cloud_.  This makes the center of the room the only safe place to be, and crowds the fight into one lethal killing alley between the balor and archon.  This also strands Heydricus and Ethel alone with Zinvellon.

Thrommel and Esril beat back the cambion tide by combining their attacks, whittling away at their foes.  Unfortunately, C’min is struck into unconsciousness and falls within reach of the _black tentacles_, which snatch up her unconscious form and begin to slowly squeeze her to death.  Gnomer is targeted by a _darkness_ effect, and blinded, he slips on a _grease_ spell, then falls within range of the _tentacles_.  He begins struggling to free himself from the _tentacles_, as well as the _grease_.  The overall effect would be comic, but as he is in _darkness_, no one can see the poor gnome, so no one laughs.

Heydricus comes out of his _held_ state, and begins to fight his way through the general melee at the back of the room in order to get to Zinvellon.  Ethel has kept the pressure on the priest, forcing him to _heal_ himself for yet a second time.  Ren Qi slips through the phalanx of cambions, and begins attacking Zinvellon, wounding him, but he touches her with a _cause wounds_ spell, and she falls to his dire necromantic magic.

Heydricus finally manages to confront the fetid abbot of the Temple, and Zinvellon looks worried.  His minions haven’t protected him, his Abyssal hordes haven’t protected him, and now he is running out of spells. Well, thank Iuz he has a _bone staff_.  He and Heydricus stand toe to toe as Ethel stings Zinvellon with _magic missiles.  

Zinvellon asks Heydricus, "Why are you doing this?" and seems to truly not understand._


----------



## Circle of Crows

*Re: The Big Brawl*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> [Meanwhile, at the front of the room, Jespo has stopped fighting and is staring at the celestial.  He tugs on the celestial’s toga.  “Excuse me, sir?”  He begins, lifting Fräs’ corpse up to the archon’s vision.
> 
> “Not now, Jespo.  Fight evil,” commands the celestial.
> 
> “This is my cat Fräs.”
> 
> “I know who your cat was, Crim.  Fight Evil.”
> 
> “Well, sir, I believe that Fräs was murdered before her time, sir.  Perhaps . . .”
> 
> “You who have come so far, would you abandon your charge now?  Go to battle!”
> 
> “But you _could_ raise my cat?  She means so much to me.”
> 
> “Yes. Yes, I will.  NOW FIGHT!”
> 
> “Do you promise?”
> 
> “I gave you my word, Jespo Crim!  Dare you doubt the honor of a celestial born?”
> 
> “I suppose I do not.  But I’ll keep my eye on you.”
> 
> [/B]






  My favorite part of the whole logs.  I still laugh my tail off every time I read this.  I always picture the look on the DM's face when you say "I ask the celestian to raise fras." Excellent role playing.


----------



## Joshua Randall

(contact) said:
			
		

> * Ethel begins saturation bombing the back area where Zinvellon is hiding with what would be the first of five fireballs.*




Ohhh yeahhh.(*) Rock on, Ethel!

What a great fight. How long did this take to play out, (contact)?

* If you imagine this "ohhh yeahhh" being said in a deep voice, like in the old Kool Aid ads, it's much funnier.


----------



## (contact)

The entire fight, which includes chapters twenty five and twenty six, took about 6 hours or so.  It was big and ugly.


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## Zaruthustran

Even better the second time around. More! More!


----------



## (contact)

*Interlude*



> _Heydricus finally manages to confront the fetid abbot of the Temple, and Zinvellon looks worried.  His minions haven’t protected him, his Abyssal hordes haven’t protected him, and now he is running out of spells . . .
> 
> Zinvellon asks Heydricus, "Why are you doing this?" and seems to truly not understand._




*Interlude:  Politics occur when warfare whispers.
(or, “I keep my friends close, and my enemies . . . well, actually, my friends are my enemies.”)*

Things have not been going well for Zinvellon.  After Canon Hazen used the Crook of Rao to banish all fiends from the Flannaes in 586CY, Zinvellon lost Crockport to the Great Northern Crusade.  Forced to return to Dorakka in disgrace, Zinvellon saved himself from destruction only by the application of a prodigious amount of sniveling and boot licking.  

Even his masterful groveling could not have kept him alive for long within the treacherous ranks of the Boneheart, so when the assignment to oversee operations in the Temple of Elemental Evil came his way, Zinvellon realized his redemption was at hand.

He managed, with the aid of the Alu-Fiend Anna (and despite the best efforts of his second-in-command Crynnek), to craft a shaky alliance between the surviving members of the Evil Elemental Water cult, a high-priest of Zuggtomoy, worshippers of Grazz’t, and a handful of Lloth’s drow servitors.  

All the faiths involved reluctantly submitted to Zinvellon’s authority only while it appeared that he might in fact return a fiendish presence to Oerik.  Zinvellon was perfectly aware that every one of his ‘allies’ was plotting to cast him down once he accomplished his task, making the success of his mission the second most dangerous thing he could have done.

Second, of course, to failing his Dread Master again.

The arrivals of the PCs as outside agitators was at first a minor annoyance.  Zinvellon immediately suspected Prazraelian cultists, but divinations revealed that Prazrael had no presence nearby (thanks to the PCs).  As the party began to uncover the Temple’s agents, Zinvellon’s plans were forced into a faster deployment than he was comfortable with.  Iuzian agents within Furyondy and Veluna reported no knowledge in those courts of the Temple’s activities, so Zinvellon confidently discounted the possibility that the forces of Good might be responsible.

Unfortunately for him, had his subordinates shared freely their information as to the PCs make-up, Zinvellon might have been able to discern the truth.  As things fell out, the Iuzian high priest was left to assume that one of his ‘allies’ was behind his troubles.  With the (re-) kidnapping of his sacrifices, Zinvellon had had enough.  He discounted the drow as a possibility due to their small numbers, and the fact that there were elves among the raiders.  Zuggtomoy couldn’t have been behind it, as her priest was murdered by the PCs.  The forces of Grazz’t had also taken heavy losses.  Crynnek hated him, true, but certainly was not mad enough to directly oppose the will of Iuz.

Shortly before Anna was killed, she and Zinvellon settled on a scapegoat.  The only group with both the motive to oppose Iuz’s power in the Temple, and who had not been themselves attacked:  The Water Elementalists.

The night before the PCs assaultd the Main Temple, Zinvellon organized a genocidal assault on the Water Elementalists.  Perhaps in the absence of several hundred children to sacrifice, the Water cultists’ blood might appease the Abyssal powers controlling the _gate_.

Zinvellon opened his assault with a pair of _earthquake_ spells.  The rest, as they say, was a massacre.


----------



## Barastrondo

And _that_ is one of the things I've loved best about this story — the brief interlude to get inside the head of its chief villain, giving him a touch of personality that makes him real without actually, you know, trying to paint him as halfway sympathetic or apologize for his evil. It would almost be enough to make you feel sorry for him… but not quite. Because if you felt sorry for him, you wouldn't enjoy the climax to this story as much, now would you? 

Good gaming and good storytelling owe much of their success to expert timing, and the Zinvellon interlude is a perfect example of expert timing. This story is great.


----------



## (contact)

Zinvellon is an evil, child-sacrificing scumbag, no two ways about it.  But he's also this guy who is in the pressure-cooker job to end all pressure-cooker jobs, who through no fault of his own keeps failing.

First the crook of Rao and the Great Crusade cause him to loose crockport, then the heroes show up completely randomly, and sack his revived Temple.

The poor schlep.  He just can't understand who these people are that are killing his minions and disrupting his unholy work.

I think we can all relate to that feeling.  Like somebody just stomps on your groceries when you set them down to unlock your door, and all you can say is, _"why would you *do* that?"

----------

Of course, in the game, Zinvellon was far, far less sympathetic.  The occupation of Crockport was horrific, and Zinvellon's name has it's closest real-world parallell in "Mengele".  Everybody's heard of him, and while they might not know exactly what he did at Crockport, they know it was utterly vile, and truly eeeevil._


----------



## (contact)

*Twenty Six:  “Hard pounding this, gentlemen.  Let’s see who will pound longest.”
- - The Duke of Wellington (at Waterloo)*

In the back of the room, Esril and Keriann are killed by the combined assaults of their foes, but Thrommel, Jespo and Prisantha manage to rout the remaining cambions and orcs, while killing all the Iuzian priests.

Gnomer wrestles free of his bind, and charges Zinvellon, harming him with a _cause wounds_.  Heydricus finally delivers the killing blow, and as he does, it seems as if a sigh escapes the whole place.  The balor curses, and in a flash, it and its minions disappear, returning to the Abyss.

Looking about, the surviving members of the party sink to the ground, exhausted and relieved.  Their task is finally and fully complete, but only through the sacrifice of many companions.  

Lantern archons float into the room from the outer chambers, and begin to swirl amongst the surviving PCs, showering them with love, light and conviction.  The PCs find themselves slowly _healed_, and refreshed.  The sword archon instructs the party to gather the bodies of their dead.

The archon addresses the party.  “This is a tremendous thing you have done, and you may all wear proudly the mantle of Heroes.  Know that I shall take your tale to Mount Celestia, and in the highest halls of Good, your deeds shall be recounted.”  (If he failed to look directly at Jespo while he was addressing the group, who can say for sure?)

The archon raises both hands forward in a high holy benediction, and the room is flooded with a euphoric burst of positive energy.  When the pearly glow fades from the room, the bodies of all undead (including Egil) have turned to dust, and all of the fallen PCs are _raised_.

“Know too,” the archon continues, “that in the high places of this world, your pleas have been heard.  Even now, your father” he says to Thrommel, “rides at the head of a host that comes to sack this vile place.

“You have succeeded in stopping the Old One’s attempt to undo the work of Rao.  His offensive has already begun, but without fiendish aid, he merely postures.  The good folk of this realm owe you a debt of thanks.  And while I cannot speak for all of you, some of you will have that debt paid in the afterlife.  I can see to that.”

And without warning, the celestials disappear, leaving the PCs to stand alone in the depths of the Temple of Elemental Evil.


----------



## GreyShadow

What about Fräs?

Did the cat come back like in Pet Cemetary? 

Missed this the first time around, love it now.

Cheers!


----------



## Galfridus

GreyShadow said:
			
		

> *What about Fräs?
> 
> Did the cat come back like in Pet Cemetary?
> *




Hoo boy.

You have no idea.


----------



## Zaruthustran

Galfridus said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hoo boy.
> 
> You have no idea.  *




Heh. Hee hee. HAHAHA!


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## (contact)

*"Friends 'till the end . . . the end!"*

*Epilogue:  The stream sees only its banks, and does not believe in the field beyond the trees.
(or, All stories have endings, but all lives do not. )*

Jespo is at first startled, then ecstatic to sense movement from the bag containing Fräs’ remains.  Suddenly, a familiar fuzzy head emerges from the bag, and nuzzles Jespo!  

Nuzzles?

Fräs looks the startled wizard in the eyes and coos, “Oh, Jespo, I’m so glad to see you!”

A celestial cat.  Kind, nurturing and supportive.  The sort of familiar any mage would love.  Jespo curses the archon for a double-dealer and thrusts the bag from himself.  “Who are you, and what have you done with Fräs?”

The party is met outside of the Temple by Furyondian forces, too late to render assistance, but a welcome sight nonetheless.  The Temple is scoured, and any humanoids and priests who did not flee Zinvellon’s assault are put to the sword.  

The PCs are taken to Chendl, capital city of Furyondy, and are the centerpieces of a national holiday that rivals even the celebrations following the Great Northern Crusade.  They are feasted and well rewarded, and invited by the King of Furyondy himself to winter in Chendl, as honored guests of the state.

*Esril* is given a post as a Master Instructor in swordplay for the royal family.

*Ethel* is introduced to a celestial patron close to Belvor who can help her better understand her sorcerous ways.

*Gnomer* presents the body of his son Gnomishic to the Clergy of St. Cuthbert for resurrection.  Finally, the family of Gnomer, Gnomishic and Gnomio are reunited.  Further, he establishes political ties between Furyondy and the gnomish community near Hommlet (of which, he is now the eldest surviving gnome, and therefore H.G.I.C.).

*Heydricus* is made a Knight of Veluna, and engages in some interesting high-level talks with His Inimical Magnificence, Halrond the Fourth, (Stalwart Master of Tritherion, Lord Protector of Chendl, etc.), temporal head of the church of Tritherion in Furyondy.

*Jespo* is appointed as the personal advisor for Thrommel, crown prince of Furyondy.  He has since made peace with Fräs, and credits his new familiar for acting as his moral compass.

*Keriann* quietly accepts her accolades, then returns to her nunnery in Veluna, stating that all of her worldly achievement is due to St. Cuthbert.

*Prisantha* is invited to winter in Chendl, and study at the Crown’s School of Magic.  (She swiftly buckles down to learn feeblemind.  Mwah, hah, hah.)  As a gesture of reconciliation, she gives Jespo the ring of mighty conjurations she swore he would never get.

*Ren Qi* and *C’min* are inducted into the Knights of the High Forest, a chivalrous organization of elves dedicated to fighting Iuz.

_Aelniir, Ahlana, Anton Flamehair, Augustin, Daniere, Egil, Gnomishic, Isuld, Lady Amyryth, Little Leaf, Lucius, Pippin, Reysnole, Rose, Suhe_ and _Tisha_ rest quietly in their shallow graves.

*Thus ends the Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil.*


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## (contact)

*The Liberation of Tenh*

The story of the TOEE2 is over, but the Heroes of the Temple adventure on.  If you are interested, head on over to the Liberation of Tenh. 

Prisantha and Heydricus are the stars, but along the way we meet all our old friends from the Temple, both the quick and the dead . . .


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## Rel

Bravo, (contact)!

It was a real pleasure and priveledge to read this story hour again.  Thanks for the opportunity.


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## Spatzimaus

See, this is why I loved this story the first time around.  Everyone's all happy at the end, moving on to bigger and better things... and here's the list of the dozen or so that DIDN'T make it, one last tribute to the meatgrinder.

One minor nitpick: when you list the dead, you have Gnomishic in there, even though you mention he was resurrected a couple paragraphs earlier.
(Feel free to delete this post if you change it)


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## (contact)

You're right-- maybe it was wishful thinking, a Freudian slip.


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## Thorntangle

Bravo, indeed. Thanks for the repost. I enjoyed it the second time as much as I would have if I had read it the first.


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## Joshua Randall

Huzzah! What a rousing story. It's satisfying to read a tale of intrigue, clever machinations, and good old fashioned butt kicking.

I intend to rip off ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H pay homage to many of the characters and concepts from this story hour in my next campaign. (Well, they *do* say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)


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## fett527

Thanks to (contact) for posting this again.  It was a fun read!


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## (contact)

JERandall said:
			
		

> *I intend to rip off (and) pay homage to many of the characters and concepts from this story hour in my next campaign. (Well, they do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.) *




Rip them off at will, and send me an email to let me know how it went over.

For those of you who are interested, I have some of the DMs notes from this campaign, in an .rtf file that I can send to you if you're interested.  Email me at cklarock@hotmail.com and I'll pass it along.


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## Nail

*Re: "Friends 'till the end . . . the end!"*



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Thus ends the Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil.*




Excellent.

......Thanks, (cntxt).


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## (contact)

In the Liberation of Tenh thread, DocMoriartty asked:



> could you put up a list of all the characters you ran during the TOEE2? I know you ran Lucien but who did you run before and after Lucien?




I am ashamed to admit that I lost more PCs than anyone else in the game.  My characters were:  Aelniir, Ahlana, Augustin, Egil, Jespo, Keriann, Little Leaf, Lucius, and poor ol' whistlin' Pippin.

Angie was a close second, having seen five PCs taken Before Their Time.  She played: Daniere, Esril, Isuld, Lady Amyryth, Prisantha, and Tisha.

Our esteemed DM played two NPCs: Anton Flamehair and Heydricus.

Three other folks (who have since left our group) managed only four PC deaths between them: Ethel, Gnomishic, Gomer, Ren Qi, Reysnole, Rose, and Suhe.


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## JacktheRabbit

You mean the DM played the only character that lived through the entire campaign?

Foul ball! Foul ball!

And here I thought Heydricus survived because his player was a crafty and sneaky person bent on survival.


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## (contact)

No one survived the Temple.  

Heydricus died, too, remember.  He's not a 'survivor', he just has the most missions to his credit.   And he wasn't really the hero of the campaign, he just got all the public credit after the fact.


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## JacktheRabbit

Hmmm, he died once at a rare moment when the party had a guarunteed method to bring him back. 

I also seem to remember a climactic scene where our brave Heyd got to have the heroes chat with the main villain before said villain was killed.



I just love to cause grief.




			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *No one survived the Temple.
> 
> Heydricus died, too, remember.  He's not a 'survivor', he just has the most missions to his credit.   And he wasn't really the hero of the campaign, he just got all the public credit after the fact.   *


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## (contact)

Do we offend your D&D sensibilities?  Trust me, it was just fine.


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## JacktheRabbit

I am just giving you grief. From reading your story hour one would have never been able to tell that Heyd was an NPC during TOEE2.




			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Do we offend your D&D sensibilities?  Trust me, it was just fine. *


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## (contact)

Ren Qi was _played_ like an NPC.


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## darkbard

*bump*


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## pogre

Finally got around to reading this. Wow, it was my kind of game - I think my players would have a meltdown with this many PC deaths.  Great job - very enjoyable!

BTW - a lot of the links to character portraits are not working for me.


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## Welverin

*Re: Re: Retro Story Hour: (Contact's) Temple of Elemental Evil 2!*



			
				Femerus the Gnecro said:
			
		

> *Using the wayback machine, I've found old version of Eric's site (including the story hour boards) in which the original RTTOEE thread was posted.  Actually, your original story hour is there as well, PC.
> 
> I'd provide a link, but unfortunately it isn't working for me at this particular moment.  Rest assured though, I've accessed those sites as recently as August.*




and



			
				(contact) said:
			
		

> *Femerus-- email me at cklarock@hotmail.com when you find it, I would love to see the original thread!*




The Internet Archive is at least one place to check for old sites. If you go there and enter the url for the site you're interested in it will give you a list of dates the site was archived.

The only address I came up for Eric's old site was this: http://www.rpgplanet.com/dnd3e/

and a direct link for the boards:
http://www.rpgplanet.com/dnd3e/3echatboards.htm#boards

Nov 9th was the first date that I could get an actual forum to open up and by then there was a Story Hour forum set up and from what I remember this was originally posted before that.

Here's a direct link to the SH forum


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## ForceUser

Bump. Probably my favorite story hour ever. Laughed my ass off the whole time.


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## (contact)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Yeah, careful there dinkeldog. God forbid, he might hit you with his truncheon. *




You know, Jespo lost all his worldly possessions again (in the Liberation of Tenh), and as I was re-statting him up, I thought about you and how pleased you'd be that his truncheon is gone.

His new melee attack is "limp-wristed slap +6/+1 melee (1d3 / x2)"


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## Lazybones

This story should be up on Morrus's hosted SH page.  *prod, prod*


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## Jeph

I just read the whole thing in one sitting...

_damn._

That ruled.


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## (contact)

Note: I just patched up the illustration links.  They should all be working again.


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## porthos

*Super smooth*

I just came across this SH and thoroughly enjoyed it. Meat grinder indeed...

Great character, great villians, and hysterical writing and commentary. This certainly ranks high in the halls of PC deaths.

Thanks for the laughs...


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## Morrow

(contact) said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Rip them off at will, and send me an email to let me know how it went over.
> 
> For those of you who are interested, I have some of the DMs notes from this campaign, in an .rtf file that I can send to you if you're interested.  Email me at cklarock@hotmail.com and I'll pass it along. *




Any chance of seeing a deluxe Temple of Elemental Evil 2 file with the complete story hour plus director's commentary (DM notes)?  Your fans demand new formats and new features!  And just wait until we start looking for the Return to the Temple & Liberation of Tehn boxed set.

Morrow


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## (contact)

Morrow said:
			
		

> Any chance of seeing a deluxe Temple of Elemental Evil 2 file with the complete story hour plus director's commentary (DM notes)?





Your wish is my command.  

I compiled the TOEE2 logs along with the LoT logs on my D&D site.  You can get the DMs notes for this campaign on that page as well.


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## RabidBob

Damn, this makes me feel 3 years younger!  Thanks a bunch for reposting.


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## Cthulhu's Librarian

(contact) said:
			
		

> I compiled the TOEE2 logs along with the LoT logs on my D&D site. You can get the DMs notes for this campaign on that page as well.




Whenever I try to download the TOEE2+LoT file, I get a "Page Not Found" error.


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## (contact)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> Whenever I try to download the TOEE2+LoT file, I get a "Page Not Found" error.




Edit--fixed!


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## weiknarf

This carnage must never be forgotten.


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## Graywolf-ELM

(contact) This was definately a fun read.


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## DMO

This was the first story hour I read, and it amused me muchly.  Still does, in fact.

I remember calling up one of my longtime gaming buddies and telling him to check it out.  "It's actually well written and funny as hell!" I was still incredulous.  We'd both been lurking on the boards since the beginning of 3e over at Eric Noah's digs, but we'd never snooped around the story hour stuff, being the pretentious lit snobs that we are.

Little did we know then just how much fantastic story hour material there is here.  Now we're like kids in a candy store.

"Sep just updated; go check it out!"
"I finally caught up on Piratecat's magnum opus.  God, what a group!"
"Destan is a god.  And his group games even less frequently than we do!"
"Have you checked out jonrog's -- or however you pronounce his name -- story hour yet?  It's amazing."
"Ooh, I just found this new one set in the Lego universe, and their miniatures are ... wait for it ... Legos."

Yeah, it's getting absurd.  The beautiful thing is, I know we've still just scratched the surface.  And we have (contact) to thank for it.  So, I guess it's about time.

Thanks, (contact)!


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## Zaruthustran

I had a similar experience. I was a hardcore post machine back when Eric Noah started the website (pre 3E). It was my first message board community participation since my C64 and IBM 386 BBS days. I did the "where are you from" threads, the "What would you be if you were a D&D character threads", and other newb threads. 

I scaled back my posts once 3E came out and now pretty much lurk. What keeps me coming back are the storyhours.

Like you, (contact)'s RTtTOEE story was my first. It's still my favorite (no offense, Sagiro and PC). The dialogue is what does it. No one writes dialogue like (contact). 

Thanks again for the good times (contact)! 

-z


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## (contact)

Just out of curiosity, did anyone else here roll up a party for the new(ish) Atari Temple of Elemental Evil game that had Heydricus, Prisantha, Jespo Crim, Lucius, and Tisha in it?  Did they have a TPK in the moathouse?

Or was it just me?


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## Dark Mistress

*sniff* poor fras, she was hands down my favorite ... err... personality.


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## KB9JMQ

Wow
I don't know how I missed this before since I have been here forever but that was a great story.
Just read it thru in one sitting. Most of my evening.
I have got to try to put my next campaign into story form.


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## (contact)

Hey thanks <Microsoft Activation Code>!  

Don't forget to read the sequel,The Liberation of Tenh, now with _free_ +5 weapons for everybody!


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## Sagiro

Zaruthustran said:
			
		

> Like you, (contact)'s RTtTOEE story was my first. It's still my favorite (no offense, Sagiro and PC). The dialogue is what does it. No one writes dialogue like (contact).
> 
> -z





Hey!  I'm offended!  My story hour is every bit as exciting and well written as this one!

(In an alternate world where every day is opposite day)

But seriously, I just read this story again over two gluttonous days when I should have been writing my own, and I don't regret a second of it.  Heck, just the chapter titles and tag lines alone are worth the admission.  And Jespo is just the best.

-Sagiro


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## Lazybones

Yep, this is the only SH I've read through twice.  I haven't even read my _own_ SH through twice...

Great stuff.


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## Berandor

Wow. I just read through the SH. Great, great stuff!


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## (contact)

Bump for a friend.


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## dungeon blaster

Hilarious!  But I can't seem to get the links to work, and I REALLY want to see the illustrations!  Also, if you have the DM notes online, could you post a link to them?  I'd like to see the mind behind the magic.


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## (contact)

dungeon blaster said:
			
		

> Hilarious!  But I can't seem to get the links to work, and I REALLY want to see the illustrations!  Also, if you have the DM notes online, could you post a link to them?  I'd like to see the mind behind the magic.




Here's the image index: http://www.cklarock.com/art/artwork/toee2/

And the DM's notes: http://www.cklarock.com/docs/downloads/TOEE2_DMs_Notes.rtf


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## dungeon blaster

awesome, thanks!


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## dungeon blaster

Just finished reading LoT....all I can say is..AWESOME!

Also started the (contact) version Return to the Temple, with a few modifications:

- set around the time of the siege of Chendl during the Greyhawk wars.
- replaced the prazraelians with cultists of Orcus who are spying on the cultists of Graz'zt in the Temple.
- a couple earthquake spells have collapsed the upper temple and part of the dungeon complex (making it significantly smaller)
- got rid of the water elemental faction, so there's only the Iuzians, the Graz'zt folk, and Anchel the cultist of Zuggtmoy (a cleric/oozemaster)
- not gonna do the doppleganger event
- Xenvelen's goal is to reopen the gate located in Zuggtmoy's prison, thereby allowing a flood of demons (from Graz'zt's abyssal layer) to enter the world and tip the war in his favor.
- Planning on including Lucius once one of the Sister's is killed, and Jespo at some point as well.
- PCs are 6th level

The first adventure went pretty well.  They fought some brigands in the Moathouse, made it to the torture room in the dungeon level, and r-u-n-n-o-f-t with some former prisoners/ghoul snacks.  Little do they know, the forces of Orcus aren't going to merely wait for them to return.  A spell-stiched ghast sorcerer, 4 ghasts, and 4 ghouls are currently tracking them...  I predict 1 PC death.


----------



## (contact)

A bumpity bump bump.

Check out this picture, it's Nolin from Piratecat's campaign: Here is a larger version


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## Piratecat

I love that picture!

Hey (contact), did you get my voice mail message the other day? I'm in your old stomping grounds for the week, and wanted to make sure you weren't around here for some odd reason.


----------



## Schmoe

(contact) said:
			
		

> A bumpity bump bump.
> 
> Check out this picture, it's Nolin from Piratecat's campaign: Here is a larger version




Hmm, very suspicious, it is.  Sneakin' around and bumpin' ancient threads.  Might be hopin' for an update to a (contact) Story Hour, we might.  After all, just think of the children.


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## Schmoe

I'm bumping this because this is the thread that started me on my Story Hour addiction.  Well, actually, this is the thread that contains the story from Eric's old boards that started me on my Story Hour addiction.  Still, I have never come across another with the same body count as this one - it's truly something to aspire to.  6 years later, hopefully a new crop of people can find inspiration from it.


----------



## rjohanek

This is also the thread that got me started on Story Hours.  It is still my favorite (though JollyDoc's stuff is a close second).


----------



## MortalPlague

*BUMP*

I was linked here from this post by Rune, and for that, I am thankful.  I've never read a story hour, but I finished this one in a single sitting.

Magnificent.

I would love to run a campaign like this, but I'm not sure my players would enjoy playing it.  Still, I may make an attempt now.  This seems like such fun, such hilarity, and I want to have gaming stories of this calibre.

There was only one problem, going through; all the picture links are gone.  Does anyone have these to repost?


----------

