# This is a Troll [meta-thread]



## Darrin Drader (Feb 5, 2003)

I am making an inflamatory remark about WotC, the type of gamer you are, or something else that is controversal. I am stating it in such a way that it appears to be a real thread about a real topic.

Now let the flaming commence.

(Edited to correct the spelling mistake.)


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## Alzrius (Feb 5, 2003)

I am making a rebuttal of your inflammatory remark. I am trying to be polite and give logical counter-points to show you how you're obviously wrong, but at the same time can't help but let my contempt for you show through, and near the end a few insulting remarks slip out, followed by a smiley so my fellow EN Worlders won't think I'm being too harsh.


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## Skarp Hedin (Feb 5, 2003)

You are wrong, and moreover, you are wrong in a manner that not only makes you appear to be a bad person, but also showcases your obvious negative qualities.

Clearly, my equally controversial and inflammatory position is superior.


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## Robbert Raets (Feb 5, 2003)

I'm going to say that you all should be tolerant of each other and make peace, all the while thinking myself to be morally superior.


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## Dagger75 (Feb 5, 2003)

I will then add, the moderators will close this thread down soon.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

I bust in with a post making unflattering personal comments about barandur, even though i didn't read the whole way throught the original post


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## Dave Blewer (Feb 5, 2003)

I am just a lurker on this thread and I get a strange sense of empty vague anger reading obviously trollish remarks that are purely designed to provoke a reaction.

I keep returning to the thread hoping that someone will post my own views on the subject, but in much more eloquant and withering way than I ever could. I hope to eventually see the original troll rescind his views and come round to a much better view - mine.

But of course, I am lurking on this thread, so I would never actually post upon it.


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## Darrin Drader (Feb 5, 2003)

Troll-like rebuttal (and not so veiled disdain) for Alzrius and his remarks. Question Skarp Hedin's upbringing and religious affiliation, and utterly ignore Robbert Raets and Dagger75. Original opinion is backed up by the results of "research studies" by highly questionable sources and gross generalizations. Attempts to poison the well by saying that all who disagree with me are affilliated with a commonly hated group or organization.


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## Frostmarrow (Feb 5, 2003)

I will state that even though I agree with the instigator per se I don't think that this is the right forum for this discussion. I will inform you that Nutkinland is a better place for the discussion, despite the fact that I've never even lurked at that place.


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## Skarp Hedin (Feb 5, 2003)

Point out to Baraendur that religious discussion is barred per rules of the boards, and that members of his background and upbringing probably shouldn't speak in public, lest they be exposed to the ridicule of all.

Repeat original points in a slightly altered fashion, which subtly changes their entire meaning.  Maintain that it is clear Baraendur did not read the original post.

Proudly claim membership in the commonly hated group or organization, mentioning that the term has come to lose all meaning due to overgeneralized overuse.  Label Baraendur as elitist or otherwise biased against a group that has not yet been mentioned.

Agree with Robbert Raets, however.


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## Dave Blewer (Feb 5, 2003)

I type a very angry response to Baraendur, but when I review it I discover that it is far too personal and angry and delete it, and return to my resentful and bitter lurking...

My wife asks me what the problem is (my angry pounding off the keyboards has alerted her to my ire).  I show her both  Baraendur's posts and exclaim on how thay are wrong on so many levels.

She looks at me with a piteous look, but on reflection, whether that emotion is aimed at me or her long-suffering self cannot be determined.


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## Alzrius (Feb 5, 2003)

I respond to the trollish response with greater anger, not bothering to be so polite this time. My responses are still tailored to get the proper point across, but are now liberally sprinkled with insulting remarks.

After this, I cease to post on this thread, content that other EN Worlders and the moderators will put the troll in his place, and because I realize that my last response made me embarrass myself somewhat, and that if I continue I may be reprimanded by the moderators.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

Having insulted Baraendur in my first post, I come back with an extremely long post that I have obviously spent the last half hour composing. Although at the beginning it seems to try to address the original point in a logical way, it continues to go further and further off on a Tangent (tm) which links the original controversial subject to another controversial subject, hopefully setting off two different discussions at once in the subsequent posts, increasing chaos and confusion. The futher along in the post you get the more insults pop in, although the post is so long-winded it is highly unlikely anyone will read the whole way through.


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## MonkeyBoy (Feb 5, 2003)

I randomly decide that I can be a voice of conciliation and peace.

However I then entr into a long and rambling message centering on a side issue to the actaul thread, finishing with an irrelevant, yet deeply moving comment on the nature of cabbages.

99% of people ignore my post, yet someone out there is so moved by the cabbages that in some future post the thread will be thoroughly hijacked.

Unfortunately this results in a spurious and strangely tense cabbages debate interweaved with a few posts empty of either cabbages or the original thread subject, but instead filled only with bile - and thus the flame war achieves purity


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## Skarp Hedin (Feb 5, 2003)

Adding nothing to the discussion, returns quickly to point out a spelling error in Baraendur's original post.

Makes smug superior remark, departs.


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## Dave Blewer (Feb 5, 2003)

I still lurk, but now I skim the long posts and only bother to read the posts that are at the most 5 lines long.

As time passes I start to ignore the emails that inform me that somebody has replied to this thread - unless the replier is  Baraendur in which case I return to the thread to either

a) Read his humiliating apology for holding such obviously wrong views

b) get increasingly angry at his responses until such time as the kids start giving me a wide berth when I am on the computer...


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## GreyShadow (Feb 5, 2003)

Sends a PM to four different posters congratulating them on their position and to keep it up for all us lurkers.

Sits back happy.


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## Darrin Drader (Feb 5, 2003)

No apologies are forthcoming, and I challenge the moderators to silence what can only be considered the only true interpretation of the issue.

I toss an insult at all lurkers for being too spineless to actually post anything.


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## Dave Blewer (Feb 5, 2003)

I explode in incandescant rage and post a a long diatribe of rambling abuse...

I am unable to post again for a few hours for it seems that I have broken my keyboards spacebar such is the venom of my response.  Further I cannot replace it for the wife and kids seem to have left the house (very quietly) and taken the car.


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## Darrin Drader (Feb 5, 2003)

Laughs hysterically, switches to a well known and liked handle, and consoles Dave Blewer for letting the troll get to him. Makes a few rambling remarks about the subject matter that ultimately say nothing. Laughs again, switches back to troll's handle.


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## Darrin Drader (Feb 5, 2003)

Notice that my thread has temporarily usurped the Hivemind as the top thread, post more inflamatory remarks, and end by comparing Skarp Hedin's remarks to the opinions held by someone who has committed genocide in the past. Suggests Skarp Hedin may also be conspiring to commit genocide.


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## Bagpuss (Feb 5, 2003)

I write in such a way as to appear to be backing up the troll and confirming his obviously false stance. I too am frequently involved in controversal activity usually at a weekend and often involving other offensive activity.

This is of course all a lie, in reality I relise this is a troll and am smuggly laughing at all the people that have so far fallen for it. I know that this is wrong but I cannot help myself as being from another country, age group or sex, I feel superior to the other posters on this board.


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## Robbert Raets (Feb 5, 2003)

I quote Skarp Hedin as an example of a cool head and neutral disposition, not having understood a single word he wrote.

Repeat my peaceful intentions and leave off on a rant about subject creep. Post a link to a relevant webcomic everybody already saw three monts ago.

Leave thread feeling even more morally superior.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

As a good moderator wannabee (thanks again tleilaxu! ) I report this thread to moderators and post a rather polite message about why I hate trollish post in these boards, showing my contempt for the whole troll idea and letting go some midly insulting remarks near the end. I don't forget finishing it with some smileys, to show that I am not a harsh person


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## Skarp Hedin (Feb 5, 2003)

Ignoring Baraendur, ridicules Baraendur's more popular handle as an individual who clearly cannot tell a troll from reasonable, earnest discussion. 

Say something complimentary about the Dutch, extolling Robbert Raets as a fine example of the type of person that makes the world a better place.

Casually mentions that as a DM, he has in fact already committed genocide in his campaign world, most notably of halflings.


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## Bagpuss (Feb 5, 2003)

I call Horacio a moderator wannabe, thus falling for his troll and inflating his ego. I particularly pity Horacio, for reason best explained on another board, for although I encourage trolls and feed them meat steak, I do not want my ENWorld personna to be seen as a bad person. 

I helpfully remind people of the obvious, that this is "only a game", that "people are entitled to their opinion" and this is a "free country". It appears I am trying to calm the situation.

Of all the time knowing that although true, none of those points are particularly relevant to the topic or posting on a privately hosted messageboard and it will have the opposite effect. My intent is of course to fan the flames.

At the end of my post I invite Horacio over to Nutkinland to talk about how happy he looks. Not forgetting to add a   so as not to hurt his feelings.


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## Robbert Raets (Feb 5, 2003)

Agree with Bagpuss on the whole freedom of speech thing, and add a little of my own, but berate him for coming down on Horacio so hard.

Commend Skarp Hedin once again, all the while hoping he doesn't find out about the jokes about him I've been hastily deleting from other forums.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

Then I felt hurt in my feelings and post a very agrresive answer against bagpuss, trying to show his/her/its badly hidden attempt to fuel the flames, but only getting the flames being fueled even more.

And I go to that other message board where I post again in a thread originally posted to flame me, where I call Bagpuss all sort of nasty words and make unflattery comments about his attitude and his trollish manners.

Then I come back here and I edit my post to add some smilies to avoid hurting too much Bagpuss's feeling and being seen as a bad person


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## Skarp Hedin (Feb 5, 2003)

Restates his position yet again, distortion effect finally mutating said position into a meaningless set of paragraphs, which could really mean almost anything and could be used to support either side of the argument.

Ridicules people who cannot see the simple clarity in this explanation.

Makes some sort of weird comment about Story Hours, clearly attempting to troll Horacio.


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## Bagpuss (Feb 5, 2003)

Continue to follow the thread, although not actually posting to it, wonder silently to myself how long will it be until someone mentions that there is a topic for this already and it should be moved to D20 Modern, Meta, or some other forum that gets virtually no activity, thus killing the thread more quickly than any Administrator lockdown.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

i then make a post using this opportunity to resurrect a long standing fight between horacio and i, ignoring all other posts. this goes on for several back-and-forth posts, with each post getting more and more hostile


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

The fight between tleilaxu and me propagates across several boards, with crossboard posts that make a lot of ENWorlders discover and fear/loathe/love/hate Nutkinland's dark side.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

this is a more hostile response to horacio's post


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## Bagpuss (Feb 5, 2003)

I start to feel sorry for Horacio and take back everything I've ever said about [can't be repeat on this board]. As while following the cross posted flame war I've noticed Eternalknight has a far worse grin and Robbert Raets' facial hair provides a greater concealment bonus.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

I report to moderators your hostile response while I post one response even more hostile.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

the conversation between horacio and tleilaxu breaks into outright namecalling, as tleilaxu calls horacio colorful euphamisms for a mod-wanna be and horacio accuses tleilaxu of being a troll. tleilaxu then asks horacio how long it will be till his girlfriend comes to save him (again)


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## Robbert Raets (Feb 5, 2003)

Even though I have over a dozen damage-control remarks on the ready, I slam shut, not knowing how to deal with cross-thread flamewars.

Still feeling morally superior, though.


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## Skarp Hedin (Feb 5, 2003)

Having clearly become miffed at Horacio's failure to rise to the lame troll attempt, calls Horacio by some sort of obscure French insult, clearly unaware that he is not, in fact, French.

Posts a third-party, unsubstantiated, five-year-old example of why his original position was correct all along.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

tleilaxu said:
			
		

> *the conversation between horacio and tleilaxu breaks into outright namecalling, as tleilaxu calls horacio colorful euphamisms for a mod-wanna be and horacio accuses tleilaxu of being a troll. tleilaxu then asks horacio how long it will be till his girlfriend comes to save him (again)    *




Horacio reports again tleilaxu's posts to moderators, almost overflowing their mailboxes, while calling tleilaxu all sort of euphemisms for troll and pointing that if people is so quick to defend him it's because he is really a good person and not a piece of troll [censored] and a [censored][censored].

Eric Gramma is deeply shocked when read these last posts between tleilaxu and Horacio, and asks her granson why he allows that in his former boards, telling that people as tleilaxu and Horacio should be banned...


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## Dave Blewer (Feb 5, 2003)

I finally respond to Baraendur's better known identity thanking him for his support and thus falling for his ruse completely.  However this post is horribly misspelt as I had to write it on a laptop that I am not fammilliar with, save it to disc, open it up in word on my main computer and cut and paste it into ENWorld response form...

I then log off only to find a long angry phone message from my Mother in Law about my treatment of her daughter!


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

tleilaxu pretends that horacio's posts didn't make him mad and tries to turn the tables making horacio look bad. he accuses horacio of starting this fight again and blames him for hijacking the original thread.

secretly tleilaxu is pleased at the trouble caused


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

Against his better judgement, Horacio's anger pushes him to post again, falling once more in tleilaxu's trap and looking again as a hot-blooded quick-to-anger silly boy. 

Darkness emails Horacio asking him not to report more tlelaxu's posts because Dinkledog's mailbox has been saturated with Horacio's previous report.


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## Bagpuss (Feb 5, 2003)

Getting bored of this tit-for-tat rivalry (mainly because he isn't personally responsible for it) he tries to remind people of the original outrageous position and inflammatory remarks.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

tleilaxu posts agreement with bagpuss and without naming names implies that all is horacio's fault. although he states this in polite and formal language, it is obvious to all that it is faux-politeness, the only purpose of which is to make horacio even more angry and to trick him into making himself look bad.

to cover up for this obvious provocation, tleilaxu then writes another extremely long post analysing baraendur's psychological problems.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

This time Horacio's anger doesn't trouble his judgement and post a rather uninflammatory but fairly incoherent post about why trolls shouldn't be allowed. And he subtly hints that it's all tleilaxu's fault because of his old idea of a Troll Award...


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## Dinkeldog (Feb 5, 2003)

And now I step in, having read every post, and wondering if it wouldn't be better if a comet just slammed into the Earth obliterating any trace of the human species, instead suggest that maybe we can cool off a bit and get the thread back on track.  

I don't use any smilies.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

Horacio hides behind Dinkledog as he accuses tleilaxu of having put the thread out of its track...


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

tleilaxu continues to post, completely ignoring dinkledog's presence. he even throws in a hidden political message.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

Horacio reports tleilaxu's hidden political message to moderators, and he recieves a polite "Don't report again a f*****g post or your postcount will be reset!" from Piratecat...


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## Darkness (Feb 5, 2003)

Darkness clears up Horacio's double-post and tells tleilaxu to read Dinkeldog's post and then act accordingly.


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## Talvisota (Feb 5, 2003)

Talvisota reiterate's Bagpuss' remark that we should stay to the topic at hand, which is very important and pertinent to Talvisota's gaming experience because of factors T and A.

Thanks the poster, Baraendur, for bringing up the topic in the first place as it needs to be brought to a head.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

tleilaxu posts a "poor me i'm being oppressed" diatribe


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## DDK (Feb 5, 2003)

Right! That does it, you &%^$#, you and your &$@&&%$%) should just ^Y%$, and further more, ^%#$$)*&.

And now I get banned from the message boards.


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## Numion (Feb 5, 2003)

Yeah, this is what I'm talking about:

my hate of d02 know no limit! 

That was an excellent thread on RPGnet boards


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

ROFLOL, Horacio agrees with Numion, and excellent and crazy thread...


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## Narrator (Feb 5, 2003)

*Really Fourecks*

But being banned doesn't stop me from coming back under an assumed nick and pointing out just how much the moderators here resemble a Natzi regime


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## hong (Feb 5, 2003)

Hong refuses to sully his dignity by posting wanger spam to this thread.


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## Dinkeldog (Feb 5, 2003)

One should not refer to threads on other boards without providing a link.  Kids these days...


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

Horacio whispers to Dinkledog that rpg.net boards have a nice search function


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## Darkness (Feb 5, 2003)

Darkness remarks how many people in RPG.net, Nutkinland, and possibly elsewhere, now have A Silent Wail's famous "My hate of d02 know no limit" as a sig quote.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

Darkness said:
			
		

> *Darkness remarks how many people in RPG.net, Nutkinland, and possibly elsewhere, now have A Silent Wail's famous "My hate of d02 know no limit" as a sig quote. *




Horacio explains that after reading such a thread, the temptation is too big...


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## Darkness (Feb 5, 2003)

Darkness points out that there's now an RPG.net debate about how is everyone's favorite anti-d20 poster and that A Silent Wail's single post has managed to catapult him almost to the top of that list even though many others have had to work hard for years to gain the same amount of recognition. The very best among them still beat ASW, however.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

Horacio begins a new troll saying how silly is rpg.net anti d20 attitude...


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## Darkness (Feb 5, 2003)

Darkness lectures for 17-odd paragraphs about the differences between EN World and RPG.net and how neither board is better but instead that they are just different in some regards.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

_Horacio falls asleep trying to read Darkness post_


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## The It's Man (Feb 5, 2003)

The It's Man thinks it's time for a piece of a Monty Python skit and posts one.


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## Ashwyn (Feb 5, 2003)

Ashwyn enters and laughs at someone's post, ambiguously, not to indicate whether he is laughing at, or with, the poster.


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## EricNoah (Feb 5, 2003)

Eric Noah arrives way too late to soothe nerves, sees that Darkness has things well in hand, and then starts checking the IP address of the troll, searching the Admin database for alt-IDs.  When he finds them he reports them in the secret Moderator's forum, where he also says something rude about the troll's mamma.


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## Enkhidu (Feb 5, 2003)

Enkhidu notes silently that this troll has broken even on the recognized troll point scale, and is now gaining points for the originator.

Then he realizes that he's just given the troll another point...


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## Dextra (Feb 5, 2003)

*dextra wades in*

First of all, it should be understood that in no way should any opinion expressed by dextra should represent the official stance of the company she owns.
That being understood, dextra calmly reiterates every point made by every poster, nicely organized and removing any inflammatory remarks.  Obviously, if everyone simply understood what the other was saying, this could all be resolved peacefully without any further ire.
In the interests of furthering peace and understanding, dextra quotes individual words and follows them by lengthy references from the Huge Heavy Dictionary which graces her bookcase beside her computer purely for such purposes. 
dextra doesn't actually express any opinion of her own, but manages to alienate those in the thread by her assumptions that noone knows how to read or write in the thread.


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## HellHound (Feb 5, 2003)

Hellhound steps in to point out that the recent posts to the thread are completely unrelated to the original topic, and are just made people trying to (a) collect postcount (while subtly putting down Crothian for having a high postcount) or to (b) ride on the coat-tails of an obviously popular and well-read thread.

He then specifically points out the Monty Python quote as an example of both of the above, arousing the ire of Monty Python fans.

He then goes on to give his (VERY late) opinion on the original troll, even though it has been given repeatedly and in a collection of reitterations by Skarp.

He then edits his post to remove his .sig.


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## Numion (Feb 5, 2003)

Dinkeldog said:
			
		

> *One should not refer to threads on other boards without providing a link.  Kids these days... *




Kid? (posts fake "I'm insulted" thread on meta) 

Here, no wait here


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## Dave Blewer (Feb 5, 2003)

Dave Blewer, Having spent the last few hours repairing his increasingly fractured marriage logs onto ENWorld one last time to say that he will no longer be posting on this board, giving some unlikely sounding excuse about work pressures meaning that he must cut back on his on-line time...

Most who read the post, have no idea who Dave Blewer is and couldn't care less...

Meanwhile, Dave Blewer swears revenge on Baraendur for posting such a cunning troll in the first place and setting in motion the events that have led to the near break up of his 9 year marriage... Luckily Baraendur has no personal info in his profile and this, plus Dave Blewer's lack of money and passport prevent any revenge taking place.  Dave Blewer grows increasingly more Twitter and Bisted.


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## Horacio (Feb 5, 2003)

As several times before, Horacio is tired and he misunderstands Hound's post, taking it as a personal attack against him, his friends, the Hivemind and everything holy in this world, so Horacio begins to post a series of ranting and rambling posts about people who arrives late to troll thread only to add mor efuel to the flames...


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## ColonelHardisson (Feb 5, 2003)

Wonders where the ubiquitous "I haven't read all of this thread, sorry if what I post rehashes what is already said" poster is.

Compares the original poster unfavorably to Bugaboo, and laments the absence of Ruin Explorer.


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## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

seeing horacio return to the fray, tleilaxu takes the opportunity to _actually_ make a personal attack against him, his friends, the Hivemind and everything holy in this world, but does it in a way so that when the moderators get mad at him he can claim they misinterpreted his intentions...


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## MEG Hal (Feb 5, 2003)

*likes cabbage*


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## GreyShadow (Feb 5, 2003)

No.  That's not right.  Goes on huge rant about original point.
Forgets to give correct version.

Flames Horacio for not bumping his favourite story hour.


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## Zhure (Feb 5, 2003)

I post without reading anyone else's replies. I repeat most of what's already been said, adding nothing of import, except to be vaguely insulting.

After muddling through that, I toss out a token "why can't we all get along," then ask for the moderators to close this thread so calmer heads have a chance to prevail.

A few minutes later, I edit out some of my more immflamatory remarks, then pretend I never used trigger words like "munchkin" and "rules pervert."


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## Enkhidu (Feb 5, 2003)

*Quotes HAL*

Enkhidu tirades about the evils of cabbage, and instead posits lettuce as a suitable substitute.


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## brun (Feb 5, 2003)

I play devil's advocate saying that the original poster might be kinda right, if his views were seen or interpreted in a slightly different (yet totally diverging) way.

I then start ranting about how threads should go on for more than oe page, sice it discourages new posters to read everything, and thus they either a) don't post or b) post something that has been repeted way too often or something that is in no way accurate, since the original posters has clarified his original opinions, all the while insulting others, in later posts.

I imply that all who do not agree can't see past their "no-life" lives on these boards.

I appologies, for formalities, for highjacking the thread, all the while implying that people should respond to my post.

I say that canadian beer his the best.


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## Nail (Feb 5, 2003)

Like many others, Nail reads the first few posts on this thread, then skips to the end.  Nail types off some attempt at humor, not realizing it has nothing to do with the subject at hand.  Going even further off the deep end, Nail liberally sprinkes his comments with apostrophes instead of "e"s.


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## HellHound (Feb 5, 2003)

Reacting to Horacio, Hellhound begins to get all "highand mighty" defensive about his position, his statements, and his love for all things Horacio except Horacio himself. 

Hellhound then proceeds to muddy the waters by refering back to other threads without providing links to the threads, attacking a close friend of Horacio's who hasn't even been involved in this thread, and then pointing out how Horacio obviously supports the troll since Horacio does not support Hellhound.

Hellhound then makes a disparaging remark about the thread in general and everything he claims to like in the opening paragraph of this post, and then "threatens" to never post to this particular part of this message board again for a month or so.

He then returns once again to edit his post and remove his .sig - although by doing so many people will assume that he instead edited out even more inflamatory remarks at the same time.


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## brun (Feb 5, 2003)

Brun points at Nail to further his previously expressed point, which he quote in his entirity.
He states, again, that canadian beer is the best, hoping deep down inside to start another flame war.


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## Dextra (Feb 5, 2003)

Having received a few personal emails with regards to Hellhound's comments within the thread, dextra pleads with the Hellhound to take it easy on our potential customers, because of course the majority of our market is reading this thread.  dextra considers asking Hellhound to stop editing his .sig out, because it is good advertising for our struggling little venture, but decides against it.

Instead, dextra decides to sit back and lurk, waiting for a Luminary the likes of Valtera, Cooke, Peterson, Dancey, or Upchurch (ie, the few people whose opinions she gives a whit about) to comment on the topic at which point she'll return and finally express an opinion that backs whatever the Luminary said.


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## MEG Hal (Feb 5, 2003)

Dextra said:
			
		

> *Having received a few personal emails with regards to Hellhound's comments within the thread, dextra pleads with the Hellhound to take it easy on our potential customers, because of course the majority of our market is reading this thread.  dextra considers asking Hellhound to stop editing his .sig out, because it is good advertising for our struggling little venture, but decides against it.
> 
> Instead, dextra decides to sit back and lurk, waiting for a Luminary the likes of Valtera, Cooke, Peterson, Dancey, or Upchurch (ie, the few people whose opinions she gives a whit about) to comment on the topic at which point she'll return and finally express an opinion that backs whatever the Luminary said. *




Goes to the dictionary to read what a Luminary is.  
Gets sad becasue Wil made the list and I did not.
Calls therapist and asks why I get so emotional over posts in a forum.

Goes back to reading Necromancer's Legacy -now in print by Ambient and MEG!!!!! to help the "plug Ambient campaign" for Dextra, even though I am not luminous


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## HellHound (Feb 5, 2003)

Hellhound insists that until the people who are emailing Dextra to reign him in actually face up to him personally, he has every right to continue flaming - just like the last time this occured.

Hellhound secretly is feeling superior to Dextra anyways... she may be the CEO of the company he writes for, but she can't even spell the names of the Luminaries she so looks up to.

Hellhound then once again returns to the thread and edits out his .sig


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## Dextra (Feb 5, 2003)

HellHound said:
			
		

> *Hellhound secretly is feeling superior to Dextra anyways... she may be the CEO of the company he writes for, but she can't even spell the names of the Luminaries she so looks up to.
> *




dextra is glad she hires editors, not only because she can't spell Cook, but mostly because Hellhound insists upon ending his sentences with prepositions.

Even though she vowed not to continue posting in this thread, she does so again adding little new to the content in order to keep the topic bumped and also to mention that this entire discussion could be simply resolved if everyone simply went out and bought all of our products, since ENWorld is obviously little more than a marketting tool for publishers.


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## MEG Hal (Feb 5, 2003)

HellHound said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hellhound secretly is feeling superior to Dextra anyways... she may be the CEO of the company he writes for, but she can't even spell the names of the Luminaries she so looks up to.
> *





Looks back at post from Dextra and notices Hellhound is right, and being that most sane e-mails I get come from Dextra makes this snafu even more funny.

Goes back to reading *NECROMANCERS LEGACY*


----------



## jaerdaph (Feb 5, 2003)

I am compelled to ask for a [INSERT NAME OF TELEVISION SHOW, MOVIE, OR NOVEL HERE] conversion to d20 [optional: Modern].


----------



## incognito (Feb 5, 2003)

TYPES A RESPONSE TO THE "COUNTER-TROLLS" IN ALL CAPS WITH A CONDECENDING TONE, FILLED WITH TYPOS, AND LOGIC ERRORS.  USES FLAWED EXAMPLE TO PAT SELF ON BACK - EXPLAINING THAT EVEN SOMEONE WHO IS UNDER 18 CAN REPSOND TO THE ROOT ISSUE OF THE ORIGINAL THREAD IN AN INTELLIGENT WAY.  POKES FUN AT SOMEONES AVATAR IN CLOSING

also: posting a funny  related third person humor joke:

A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms.  

The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes associated with his ethnic group, and proceeded to make a remark which might be considered to establish conclusively his membership in that group, whereupon his companion proceeded to make a remark with a double meaning, the first meaning of which could be interpreted to indicate his agreement with his companion, but the other meaning of which serves to corroborate his membership in his particular ethnic group.  

The first person took offense at his remark, and reacted in a stereotypical way!


----------



## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

tleilaxu returns to nominate this thread for the 2003 troll awards


----------



## Bagpuss (Feb 5, 2003)

Bagpuss finds that joke offensive even though he is not a member of either stereotypical group mentioned in it, and in fact has heard that joke before told by a member of said group, who found it very funny.


----------



## Ashy (Feb 5, 2003)

*QUOTES HAL'S POST RE: LOOKING UP 'LUMINARY'*

Posts dejected and pithy comment about also being excluded from Dextra's short list, despite giving recent and valuable information to her bethrothed regarding their "bee problem"...

Sulks off to lurk, hoping beyond hope for a forthcoming reprival, editing, and re-posting of said short list from Dextra, with a trailing frown...


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Feb 5, 2003)

Without reading the rest of the thread, Tallarn replies to the original post, making the same points as at least three other posters, in a less coherent way.

He then makes some vague comment about how certain people must have already posted, but that he can't be bothered to read their replies since he can already guess what they've said and doesn't agree with it.

He then subscribes to the thread, ready for future arguments, and forgets to leave his .sig out, whilst also "casually" mentioning that he has a Kings Of Chaos Army that needs new members, and that since this thread is so popular he could do with some people clicking on his link...


----------



## KB9JMQ (Feb 5, 2003)

I break out of Lurking mode and post a "me too" message here actually meant for another thread entirely and wonder why once again when I post to a thread no one ever responds to my responce.


----------



## Skade (Feb 5, 2003)

{Insert blanket statment of superiority here}
{Insert insulting remarks that can be directed at any one of the above flamers here}
{Close with condescending remarks that are probably directed at the moderators here}


----------



## I'm A Banana (Feb 5, 2003)

Pretends to be superior to you all, because you fell for a troll.

Posts a Monty Python quote about cabbage.


----------



## Sniktch (Feb 5, 2003)

Sniktch stops in after several friends tell him about the thread.  He'd been ignoring it before but now that he's here he sees things have gotten out of hand.

He wonders how such an obvious troll and flamewar could have been allowed to continue for so long without a moderator shutting it down.

He asks everybody to calm down and discuss it politely, never mentioning his own opinion.  He enters yet another 'can't we all just get along' post on the thread.

Then he heads back to discuss the thread with his friends on other threads and boards where he knows that everyone will agree with his position, laughing all the way and feeling quite smug.


----------



## Timothy (Feb 5, 2003)

I will read the first post as it just is posted and not understand what it is for, I will cotinue doing other things and posting on hivemind and ignore the thread. Then I will be pointed to this thread hy Hellhound and start reading all of it, only getting the joke after three posts. I will then explain the view I have and that has been expressed 1000 times allready. I will leave my .sig in on purpose so people think I am annoying and make another meta thread about annoying .sigs


----------



## Robbert Raets (Feb 5, 2003)

Despite all the new developments, I quote a message from the first page, mistakingly believing it was meant as an insult to one of my hobbies. Smacking down with all the moral superiority I've been building up, I snipe and slash at the poster and his alleged allies, not knowing they've all switched sides and opinions twice over. 

I end with a stupid remark partially written in l33tsp33k


----------



## Left-handed Hummingbird (Feb 5, 2003)

Posts condescending and patronizing message about the lack of originality of this thread, pointing out that those "in the know" (as opposed to the majority of posters in this thread) already discussed this topic extensively on an earlier incarnation of the message boards. And to give it an even greater air of snobbish exclusiveness, that this discussion was posted on a "secret" and hidden forum during the limbo between two messageboard incantations.


----------



## carpedavid (Feb 5, 2003)

I attempt to say something pithy that hasn't already been contriubted, fail, and end up pimping my story hour thread.


----------



## Arken (Feb 5, 2003)

Arken reads all posts so far so as not to look stupid in anyway when posting his final point. Then agrees with the concept of free speech but inexplicabely says that the concept has no application on these particular boards.

Makes a point taht he is digressing and that he will now come on topic to the troll that was off topic in the first place. Agrees with what he percieves as the view most fitting his personal political ideology not realising he has done exactly the opposite.

:Misquote of a generally respected figure such as Ghandi or a French philosopher to demonstrate intelligence though the quote is unrelated to topic on hand:

Wraps up by telling everyone to calm down followed by a section written in a language not generally known to other board members but known to a particular board member that I want to create a sub conversation with.


----------



## tleilaxu (Feb 5, 2003)

Posts a typical emotional response to the troll.

A few minutes later, this post no longer contains the original emotional response.  In its place are kind, understanding words of love, peace, and tolerance for all humankind.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 5, 2003)

Baraendur checks in on his troll in order to see how the carefully planted seed of discord is developing. While at ENworld, notices that a review of a product he worked on has been posted at the following URL:  http://www.dmshaven.freeservers.com/bastionpress.html but also notices the lack of recognition for adventure design.

Now both delighted and irritated, adds fuel to the fire of the original debate and suggests that everyone who has been trying to belittle one another aren't doing a good enough job. Also mentions that the point of the original troll has been lost and that the original issue should be addressed.

Ends message by calling the moderators and Eric Noah unflattering names and taunts them for their inaction.


----------



## EricNoah (Feb 5, 2003)

Eric totally loses his temper, and posts a long-winded rant outlining his original role in establishing this message-board community, acts like he owns the place, and uses guilt and threats of banning to try to create order and look cool.  

All the while, he is letting the original troll hang himself with his own rope, hoping to trick the troll into posting something so offensive that the whole forum will realize banning is the only solution.


----------



## Henry (Feb 5, 2003)

Henry posts in the thread right after Eric, giving him stirring compliments on his moderating ability, and making remarks shaming various outrageous board posters over their prehensile actions.


Henry then privately posts in the Moderator's Forum, telling Eric he did a find job on that thread, and then making insulting remarks about Baraendur's excessively long nose hairs, to cheer him up.


----------



## Sagan Darkside (Feb 5, 2003)

Sagan puts everyone on his ignore list, and then waits for new users so he has someone to talk to.  

SD


----------



## MEG Hal (Feb 5, 2003)

EricNoah said:
			
		

> *Eric totally loses his temper, and posts a long-winded rant outlining his original role in establishing this message-board community, acts like he owns the place, and uses guilt and threats of banning to try to create order and look cool.
> 
> All the while, he is letting the original troll hang himself with his own rope, hoping to trick the troll into posting something so offensive that the whole forum will realize banning is the only solution. *




Remembering the Witch Trials in the 1800's I grab my torch and tell the towns folk to meet at the courthouse all the while screaming:

BURN HIM!!  BURN HIM!!! errrr ohhh I mean BAN HIM!!!!  BAN HIM!!!!!


----------



## Breakdaddy (Feb 5, 2003)

Never having realized what an IMMENSE NERD I am until reading this thread and knowing that I actually enjoyed it, I go to dunk my head in cold water


----------



## Magic Rub (Feb 5, 2003)

KB9JMQ said:
			
		

> *I break out of Lurking mode and post a "me too" message here actually meant for another thread entirely and wonder why once again when I post to a thread no one ever responds to my responce.   *




I'll pick out the most inane & seemingly "least on topic" post. Quote it and attempt to start a sub-conversation within the thread, completely Pi$$-ing off the people who are partaking in the base "Discussion".


----------



## Nail (Feb 5, 2003)

brun said:
			
		

> *Brun points at Nail to further his previously expressed point, which he quote in his entirity.
> He states, again, that canadian beer is the best, hoping deep down inside to start another flame war. *




Nail obliges, by saying something unspeakable about Canadian Beer.  Eric's Grandma comes by Nail's house and pulls the internet connection Straight Outta th' Computer.   

And then Nail's got nothin' more t' say..........


----------



## Friadoc (Feb 5, 2003)

After reading only a handful of posts, mostly in the begining and end of the thread, Friadoc posts something that he feels would be informative and helpful, even if it's a bit long winded, yet is more commonly bypassed as either more relivant posts happen at the same time, or he is just on a system wide 'ignore' list.

[Edit: Of course he then has to come back and show how 'ned' was actually a typo of 'end'.]


----------



## wolff96 (Feb 5, 2003)

After lightly skimming the entire thread, wolff96 drops in to post a note about a minorly incorrect rules comment buried in an obscure, long-winded post on the second page while ignoring the topic of the troll entirely.

Vaguely satisfied with himself for no apparent reason, he then departs the thread forever.


----------



## Arken (Feb 5, 2003)

Arken reads all posts so far so as not to look stupid in anyway when posting his final point. Then agrees with the concept of free speech but inexplicabely says that the concept has no application on these particular boards.

Makes a point taht he is digressing and that he will now come on topic to the troll that was off topic in the first place. Agrees with what he percieves as the view most fitting his personal political ideology not realising he has done exactly the opposite.

:Misquote of a generally respected figure such as Ghandi or a French philosopher to demonstrate intelligence though the quote is unrelated to topic on hand:

Wraps up by telling everyone to calm down followed by a section written in a language not generally known to other board members but known to a particular board member that I want to create a sub conversation with.


----------



## AaronLoeb (Feb 5, 2003)

thinly disguised bump


----------



## Piratecat (Feb 5, 2003)

a member said:
			
		

> *All it needs is a lock on the end with no reason except "to let things cool down." *




Administrator reminds a member to take this discussion to email. Expects member will start not one, but two inappropriate threads in Meta.  Admin then recites incomprehensible parable related to own story hour before complimenting other members for showing restraint and not arguing.

Later, realizes he missed someone arguing, and goes back in and scolds them.

Later still, finds stupidly misspelled word, and obsessively edits to fix typo.

Edit:  I fixed both stuipd tyopos.  --Dinkeldog


----------



## coyote6 (Feb 6, 2003)

Snickers about dogs fixing three-legged cats. Then wonders if all this flaming didn't scorch the boards for three hours. 

Wonders how long it will be before someone uses the words "broken" or "shaft".


----------



## Starman (Feb 6, 2003)

Goes to rpg.net and dragonsfoot.net and makes disparaging post about 3tards. Comes back and mocks all posters for their inferior system. 

Starman


----------



## Azure Trance (Feb 6, 2003)

Looks into thread to see what was so amazing that made it 4 pages long in less then 24 hours; fails his attention span check and decides to leave it alone while he starts up Medal of Honor.


----------



## Femerus the Gnecro (Feb 6, 2003)

Makes a sentence long comment to the effect of 'grow up, you're all pathetically childish, contributing to this thread is an exercise in egotism' and then leaves.

Checks the thread again in a few hours to see if anyone has responded to his comment.  

They haven't.


----------



## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Feb 6, 2003)

*Pressing refresh for THREE HOURS*

I was sooo upset earlier with Baraendur, that I broke the server with my previously latent Psionic talents.  

sorry.

BFG


----------



## orbitalfreak (Feb 6, 2003)

> quotes a thirteen paragraph flame-filled post taking a stance on the issue in the first post.






> quotes a seven paragraph post, also flame-filled, taking a completely opposite stance on the issue.




Replys, stating his complete agreement with both posters.  Makes a joke about Piratecat, clay pots, and cabbage.  Expresses dominance of Dr. Pepper over all other beverages.

Ends with a remark about how D&D 1.5 was surperior to all other editions, which is obviously a troll to hijack the hijack of the original troll.  Somehow, this new troll puts the thread back on its original topic.


----------



## GreyShadow (Feb 6, 2003)

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Misquotes everything original in Piratecat's post.
> 
> Edit:  I fixed both stuipd tyopos.  --Dinkeldog *




Makes intelligent comment about Dinkeldog's wonderful DM skills, points out flaw in the third paragraph of long-winded post on second page.

Says Hi to seven people, ignores 3 others.  Gets hit over head by girlfriend for ignoring others.  Says hello reluctantly to the 3 snobs, gets another backhand from girlfiend.


----------



## haiiro (Feb 6, 2003)

Posts something vaguely on topic, but having more to do with a sub-sub-point than the actual troll. Obsessive previewing of the post still fails to catch a small typing error.

Ends with a question about a related topic. Having missed that the thread was winding down anyway, feels a sense of disquiet when no one responds to the question -- or posts at all on the thread after that. Watches the thread fall off the front page.


----------



## Remathilis (Feb 6, 2003)

I add absoultely nothing in this post.


----------



## Kilmore (Feb 6, 2003)

Returns to ENWorld after a hectic schedule with my inventory job of counting a Sears, coming home and going right to bed, getting up and counting Sears again, and going online after getting home.

Frowns when I see every topic I've posted in except for one i really didn't care that much about on the third page or worse.  Posts to a topic on the third page in spite and begins to check out the new threads that knocked the ones I cared about off.

Finds this thread.  Intrigued by the name and wondering if it is a troll, investigates.  Gets randomly mauled by cat who is jumping up to the top of the monitor.   

Reading a few posts, picks up on something of interest in haiiro's post that has nothing to do with the original topic, partly out of genuine interest, and partly to derail the topic into more civil territory.

Checks back once or twice and finds I've been ignored.


----------



## MerricB (Feb 6, 2003)

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *Edit:  I fixed both stuipd tyopos.  --Dinkeldog *




Points out that those who cannot fix tee-pees should not live in wig-wams.

Mentions that he hopes people at Dragonsfoot.org don't hear about this thread.

Blathers about how stupid people are who use ALL CAPS.

Makes a point based on the third post in the thread that has already been made but better (probably by Henry).

Cheers!


----------



## Knightfall (Feb 6, 2003)

Posts a poll about the original troll topic in hopes to bring sanity back to the people

http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=40019

*NOTE:* My post here is in the spirit of the thread but the poll is serious.

Later,

KF72

p.s.  fun, fun, fun!


----------



## Skade (Feb 6, 2003)

Now I question the nature of Trolls - questioning the psychological needs of one who must incite flamewars and pointless discussions.  Then I wonder at those who often casually say things like "borderline troll" when no one else seems to think the post was a troll.  Not that this has any relevance to this troll, or any in particular, for I would never incite the very flames I question, from above Troll.


----------



## Impeesa (Feb 6, 2003)

I skip over all 4 pages, and question the breeding of the last poster based on a misunderstood sub-argument.

--Impeesa--


----------



## jonesy (Feb 6, 2003)

Uses the thread as an excuse for his very first post on the forums
without actually reading anything that has been previously said
while somehow managing to include every previous poster in his
analyzis that misses all points anyone could have made.


----------



## Jolly Giant (Feb 6, 2003)

I'm just posting in an attempt to lure people over to *my* newly posted thread, which speculates wildly on how this troll will appear in 3.5.

If this fails, I will post again, trying to turn this thread into a debate on exactly how much the bard sucks. That topic has not yet been sufficiently studied!


----------



## Robbert Raets (Feb 6, 2003)

Take a snipe at several 'obviously stupid' posts. Apologise to said posters, but repeat that I feel they didn't think things through before posting. Offensively inquire about Piratecat's spelling problems. Pray I don't get banned for that.

End with a comment about the abilities of a Dryad Druid, which sounds suspiciously like sexual innuendo.


----------



## Left-handed Hummingbird (Feb 6, 2003)

Overfriendly welcome to the boards to jonesy - ignoring the multitude of faux pas he made.


----------



## FireLance (Feb 6, 2003)

Firelance finally stumbles onto this thread as it is winding down since he lives on the opposite side of the world from most of the posters and was asleep when all the fun was going on.

Wonders what all the fuss is about since the answer is obvious from a careful reading and cross-referencing of the PHB/DMG/MM/PsiHB/random splatbook/obscure WotC source. Thinks about explaining that but decides not to since nobody seems interested anymore.

Goes to read some other thread.


----------



## Nail (Feb 6, 2003)

coyote6 said:
			
		

> *Snickers about dogs fixing three-legged cats. *



Nail wipes the fresh Coke off his monitor, reveling in the troll-age that is ENWorld.

Then Nail follows other's lead and posts YAIC.  (Yet Another Inane Comment).


----------



## Arken (Feb 6, 2003)

I realise the conversation has moved on since my last posting in the thread and thus feel left out. In frustration at having lost the opportunity to argue with people I start an argument randomly choosing a poster that seems more active than the others.

I then state that their point of view is the wrong one and that I know this because their point of view has in some way in real life directly caused harm to a close family member of mine. I then suggest that the poster perhaps frequently harms my family members as well as small children. I am careful not to suggest that I am actually just trying to cause trouble and chaos by making the end of my post very sad and using lots of upset smilies.

  

Finish with a patronising comment which states that I can understand why 'some people' are unable to make proper moral decisions because of their upbringings.


----------



## Magic Rub (Feb 6, 2003)

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah wah wah! Wah wah wah wah wah, Wah wah wah wah wah...

WAH WAH WAH WAH!!!!!

      

Wah wah wah?  

*Wah)* Wah wah wah wah?
*Wah)* Wah wah?
*Wah)* Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah?

    

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. 
 

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah. Wah wah wah wah wah . Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah.


----------



## Nail (Feb 6, 2003)

Impeesa said:
			
		

> *I skip over all 4 pages, and question the breeding of the last poster based on a misunderstood sub-argument. *



Which causes Nail to wonder what breed the troll is.....


----------



## jdavis (Feb 6, 2003)

I patiently read every single post of this thread, take the time to form a indepth opinon, then throw it all out the window and reply to the very first post, even though it has been done countless times already. "WOTC is just doing the stuff that companies do when they are companies and they are doing it in the way that companies do it.""Everybody games differently please have consideration for those who don't share your idea, which I will accept as totally reasonable, (completly ignoring that it isn't reasonable and a obvious troll)""I feel that your controversal topic is way too controversal to be posted here as it will cause too much controversy." I top-post this for no other reason than I know that it annoys some people and is sure to gain attention to my obviously logical point of view, even though I have yet to state my point of view. I then throw a smiley face on at the end so as to not look serious even though I am taking this very serious and very personal even though it is not and I actually agree with the first post. All the while I am hoping that I am not to late to get in on such a controversal thread before it gets closed.




			
				Baraendur said:
			
		

> *I am making an inflamatory remark about WotC, the type of gamer you are, or something else that is controversal. I am stating it in such a way that it appears to be a real thread about a real topic.
> 
> Now let the flaming commence.
> 
> (Edited to correct the spelling mistake.) *


----------



## jdavis (Feb 6, 2003)

*Re: Re: This is a Troll [meta-thread]*



			
				jdavis said:
			
		

> [/B]




After realizing that nobody has replied in a while I quote myself, claim that my statements are being misrepersented, completly state my objection to all the other opinions with out ever actually giving my opinion.

Completly restate everything again in a different more confusing matter, and throw in wild and off topic references to judging bobsledding and the fine art of glass blowing. I then try to back up my position by linking to a thread that has been dead for two weeks where I was very active, even though it doesn't apply to this situation.

http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=679361#post679361

Unfortuantly I post the wrong link which makes my aguement which hasn't actually been given even more vague and confusing. I will now sit and wait in hopes that anybody will post anything so I can restate my opinion once again but make it look like I was actually replying to somebody else. Oh I forgot the smiley face that shows you should not take my personal insults personal


----------



## Wayside (Feb 6, 2003)

orbitalfreak said:
			
		

> *Replys, stating his complete agreement with both posters.  Makes a joke about Piratecat, clay pots, and cabbage.  Expresses dominance of Dr. Pepper over all other beverages.
> 
> Ends with a remark about how D&D 1.5 was surperior to all other editions, which is obviously a troll to hijack the hijack of the original troll.  Somehow, this new troll puts the thread back on its original topic. *




Pipes in with the lonely and woefully off-topic fact that, in truth, coke is the superior form of refreshment.  Adds nothing of substance to the exchange.


----------



## Shapermc (Feb 6, 2003)

If you see them, DON'T FEED THEM!!!!!


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 6, 2003)

Bumps the thread back to the top and makes an empassioned argument that the only type of refreshment worth drinking (above and including water) is Barqs Rootbeer.

Suggests subtle ties between the interests of Saddam Hussein, Magic Rub, and Knightfall1972.

Reinforces original diatribe by rephrasing every major point.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 6, 2003)

even though I was not quoted or mentioned in any way I'll assume that all comments since my last post were attacks directed at me.

I will need at least 500 words to give my opinion on the root beer issue and how you are not considering the feelings of all those people who prefer A&W or Mug root beer. During my manifesto on beverages I will be sure to put in as many references to e-tools, 2nd edition vs 3rd ed., 3.5 edition, hackmaster, gurps, the ranger class, grappling rules, prestige classes, the LOTR movies, ford vs chevy, the metric system, turkey ham, and the Superbowl as I can get in, and I'll assume that you hold the exact opposite opinion as I do on each of these off topic topics based solely on your choice of root beer.

I will then agree with everything you have ever said but point out that all your points are out of context and therefor wrong. I will reply line by line to your previous post and reference the opinions of a guy I used to know in college as proof of my argument.

Then I will apologize for my post being too confrontational.


----------



## Impeesa (Feb 6, 2003)

Agrees about Barq's in an obvious attempt to keep the flaming going by starting a new argument with the old-guarde coke-drinkers. Hypothesizes about the breed of the troll.... construct, perhaps? 

--Impeesa--


----------



## seasong (Feb 6, 2003)

Skims entire thread in disbelief at its size. Checks views, sees that it is very active, and posts a minor comment on a few things, attempting to resurrect reasonableness, but knowing he will fail.

The real reason for the post, however, it to pimp his story hour via sig.


----------



## Remathilis (Feb 6, 2003)

Looks over the preceeding text, and in a fit of irrelevency, declares "Stewarts Rootbeer" got the Shaft!!!

Again Lurks...


----------



## Zappo (Feb 6, 2003)

Posts a countdown to thread locking, with the rolleye smiley.


----------



## Deedlit (Feb 6, 2003)

Makes a post inquiring about Baerandur's sanity(Or lack thereof), and expressing the opinion that Baerandur had inhaled various illegal substances before making the original post.


----------



## Arken (Feb 6, 2003)

Supports Deedlit wholeheartedly with a post suggesting numerous people are 'smoking crack' and that this explains a lot of things for some reason.


----------



## Redleg06 (Feb 6, 2003)

This is a post stating in a Cyber-Punk-Snob manner what wimps ENWorlders are and how they wouldn't last 2 minutes on "Views From the Edge"


----------



## Redleg06 (Feb 6, 2003)




----------



## baradtgnome (Feb 7, 2003)

*you are now enlightened*

Here is the ubiquitous "I haven't read all of this thread, sorry if what I post rehashes what is already said" post.

Then proceeds to wax eloquently over a topic completely unrelated, utterly without merit, positively tedious, and logically incorrect.

Waits in vain for the gratitude of enlightened masses...


----------



## orbitalfreak (Feb 7, 2003)

Zappo said:
			
		

> *Posts a countdown to thread locking, with the rolleye smiley. *




...continues...countdown...with...obligitory...ellipses...between...every...number...

...includes...rolleyes...smiley...

<font color="333333", size=1><a href="http:\\www.wizards.com"><img src="http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif"></a>Posts hidden link to offensive website</font></size>


----------



## Silver Moon (Feb 7, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *proceeds to wax eloquently over a topic completely unrelated, utterly without merit, positively tedious, and logically incorrect.*



Kicking self for not having logged onto General RPG Discussion for two days, having missed this thread until now when it is close to being finished.   Reads through the several pages of posts, thinking of several things to say, but then finding that everyone else has already covered those points multiple times.  Finally comes upon something fresh, although unrelated to the original topic, and quotes that.    Speaks briefly about the quote then moves back to  the original topic, saying what was said before in a slightly different way.  Takes a cue from Seasong, and finishes with a Story Hour pimp.

After looking at the submitted post suddenly notices a typo and/or spelling error that had been missed before, which then gets an edit.


----------



## psijack (Feb 7, 2003)

posts a question that has nothing to do with the posts..then wonders why no one answers it.


----------



## Redleg06 (Feb 7, 2003)

Turns the thread into a Good Drow vs No Good Drow thread!


----------



## jdavis (Feb 7, 2003)

Slips in another quick post before thread gets nuked. Restates all previously given statements, tries to make comments on every topic and subtopic that was brought up, takes firms stand on view of the world then realizes that view of the world has not been given yet, gives view of the world skirting off limit topics by using D&D references as thinly veiled cover. 

Agrees with Baraendur once again then goes into longwinded discussion on why Baraendur is actually wrong in this case. Covers obvious personal insult flung at  Baraendur by adding smiley faces     Agrees with everybody else that  Baraendur is wrong, completly ignoring the fact that I agreed with him myself earlier in the post.


----------



## Redleg06 (Feb 7, 2003)

Good Drow should not be allowed, no, never!


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 7, 2003)

Poigniantly notes that there is no relationship between good drow and Barqs Rootbeer. Disagrees with Jdavis by agreeing with each individual point made, but noting that the argument fails as a whole. Makes crude suggestion about Jdavis's parentage, but adds twice as many smilies afterwards as he used to cleverly disguise trollish intent        . Scoffs once more at the moderators and Eric Noah. Suggests that all the naysayers to my original topic deserve to be playing Elminster's Henchmen. References several ongoing threads that I've never posted to. Ends with an invitation to agree with my original assertion or smell something unpleasant.


----------



## Gez (Feb 7, 2003)

After having read the first 3 posts in that thread, had stayed out of it. Heh, +4 dodge against trolls I have ! But, after seeing that thread stay healthy and on top, I finally decide to intervene.

Looking quickly at the theme of the last four posts, I post something that's somewhat on-topic, but that subtly involve provocative political and religious declarations in a way that could hurt Eric's Grandma (like "better a president that is sucked than a president that sucks"), and that also features some not-so veiled insults directed at certain well-known moderators, in the hope that they finally close this thread.

Then leave the thread, and hope it works.


----------



## Silver Moon (Feb 7, 2003)

Logs in after checking e-mail and before going to work.  Is amazed to see that the flaming troll is still alive and kicking.  Concludes that Moderators must all be busy watching the Godzilla movie marathon on cable.   Is worried that comment from Gez may shut it down, so posts a long message about the administrations of several early 19th century U.S. presidents to make it appear that he was talking about historical rather than current politics.   Hopes that attempt at damage control does not hijack the thread, as happened once when making a post about William Shatner's singing career on a 'Book of Vile Darkness' thread.    Makes one more comment about original topic, followed by another Story Hour plug, then leaves.


----------



## Vecna (Feb 7, 2003)

Post the reasons because I don't like and I'll never buy an announced sourcebook. My arguments are based solely on rumors. Last sentence of the rant is "WotC just wants our money".


----------



## Deadguy (Feb 7, 2003)

Attempts to answer psijack's question in such a way as to seem cleverly to link it to the topic - or rather one of the topics - of this rambling thread. Realises halfway through writing it that in fact it _has_ no connection, but decides to post anyway out of pride.

In order to maintain credibility makes a small, jokey aside to Gez's political remarks that are guaranteed to be read by someone as inflammatory.


----------



## KB9JMQ (Feb 7, 2003)

Decides to read thread after it reappears on the front page.
Not realizing I had posted to this thread before by accident.
After reading a couple of pages decides a troll thread is not the kind of thread I want to break out of lurking mode on.
Goes back to General page while keeping post count low again.


----------



## seasong (Feb 7, 2003)

Silver Moon said:
			
		

> Finally comes upon something fresh, although unrelated to the original topic, and quotes that. Speaks briefly about the quote then moves back to the original topic, saying what was said before in a slightly different way. Takes a cue from Seasong, and finishes with a Story Hour pimp.



Calls Silver Moon on story hour pimping, and asks that Silver Moon stay on topic if Silver Moon is going to be hawking wares. Does not post own sig, so as to seem less hypocritical.


----------



## Magic Rub (Feb 7, 2003)

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah wah wah! Wah wah wah wah wah, Wah wah wah wah wah...

WAH WAH WAH WAH!!!!!

      

Wah wah wah?  

*Wah)* Wah wah wah wah?
*Wah)* Wah wah?
*Wah)* Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah?

    

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. 
 

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah. Wah wah wah wah wah . Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 7, 2003)

completly agrees with above statement, uses this as a springboard for posting more smiley faces.

        

insults famous people not involved in any way then tries to link them back to people on the tread, uses smiley faces to make them look like compliments. Holds up all moderators as saints who work miracles, stands by the rights of good drow to drink root beer of their choice, agrees with all disagreements on previous agreements. Make snide off hand remark that moderators must be too busy with the hivemind threads to close this one, add smiley faces to cover own butt with moderators and hivemind  Post links to Meta thread started to complain about this thread. 

Give own views on previous political statements then complain wildly that such discussions have no place here.


----------



## Deedlit (Feb 7, 2003)

Makes a post comparing those on the side Baraendur supports to Nazis, Hitler, or something else equally controversial.  Also adds in something speculating about what exactly the question to 42 is, which has nothing to do with the original topic.


----------



## Bugaboo (Feb 7, 2003)

Assuming a persona noncongruent with my true identity, I attempt to ridicule the thread itself and people who are oblivious to their own sense of superiority. I do this by cutting the first message that raises my artificial ire...



			
				Baraendur said:
			
		

> *I am making ...
> *




... and proceed to pick it apart, addressing each word, phrase or punctuation in turn. "Making," for example, is a verb I strongly disagree with.



> *... an inflamatory remark about WotC...
> *




And here I am perturbed at the use of an acronym. I castigate you for not spelling out the full name of the company.



> *... gamer ...
> *




Please clarify the use of this word. I think you may have insulted me, my family, my nationality, or my religion in some way. 



> *... something else ... appears to be ... a real ... flaming commence.
> *




And finally, I mangle the initial message completely out of context and argue against the imaginary issue with horrendous logic. 

I conclude with an opinion about your mistaken thesis, possibly repeating what someone else said earlier in the five pages I refused to read.  I stand prepared to argue further.


----------



## Sciurus Rex (Feb 7, 2003)

Mistakenly posts inconsequential message wiht obvious misspelings twice -- "I agree with teh prevous message poster." Then appologizes for own stupidity and failure to master simpelest computer skills.


----------



## Silver Moon (Feb 7, 2003)

Checks back with the thread, being suprised that it is still alive, especially given the new political comments.  Is also genuinely disappointed to see that the morning's post, with references to Godzilla, William Shatner's singing, and the Book of Vile Darkness, did not cause the thread to spin off into a new direction.   Decides to make a new posting, pulling out the flamethrower.  

Tells Baraendur that after careful consideration, he is TOTALLY WRONG!   Goes on to steal a few main points used by prior Baraendur critics to justify the statement.   Ignores Seasong's comment and puts in another pimp for own Story Hour.    Makes one final attempt to derail thread, mentioning the current Pepsi commercial with the Osborne family.   Exits feeling very satisfied with self.


----------



## Zaukrie (Feb 7, 2003)

I'll lurk for about 25 minutes, wondering all the while why I keep reading this.  Suddenly, I'll remember I promised my wife I'd come home early from work, and log out.  Then, I'll think this is kind of funny, log back in, and post this reply.  No really.


----------



## baradtgnome (Feb 7, 2003)

*Re: you are now enlightened*



			
				baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *Waits in vain for the gratitude of enlightened masses... *




Notices with dissapointment that the masses remain un-enlightened.

Makes pointless and useless comments about own previous post that no one will read instead they will skip to next post without fin...


----------



## Arken (Feb 8, 2003)

Deedlit said:
			
		

> *Makes a post comparing those on the side Baraendur supports to Nazis, Hitler, or something else equally controversial.  Also adds in something speculating about what exactly the question to 42 is, which has nothing to do with the original topic. *




Am thrown off by the final comment into detatiled discussion of The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy in which I state that it is 'great' yet annoy the entire board by insisting on using the acronym THHGTTG repetedly, this may also possibly be accompanied by 1337 speak.

I then suggest that anyone that is not able to agree with my particular interpretation of a passage in the bible is the anti-christ so that my post has some flaming qualities it was previously lacking.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 8, 2003)

State my firm belief that Drow (both good and evil) are allowed their choice of refreshing beverage without being misrepresented as the anti-christ.

Toss causal smile laced insults about for no real reason but to bump the thread, intentionally remain un-enlightened. 

Agree with all those who have argeed with all that I have agreed with, and disagree with all those who have disagreed with what I disagree with, agree that we disagree, agree that disagreement will continue, agree with the assumption that I am more agreeable. 

Add similey faces to cover frustration with lack of agreement  Insult Baraendur's lack of a spine and invite him to "take this outside", add smiley face to cover up fact that it is too cold outside to take anything there


----------



## baradtgnome (Feb 8, 2003)

Continues to show lack of any evidence of enlightenment by trying to prolong a thread that has long since expired and that nobody retains any interest in.

Continues on and displays for all to see that he 'doesn't have a clue'

Thanks all those who agreed with him (none) and continues to wait for favorable responses in vain.


----------



## Left-handed Hummingbird (Feb 8, 2003)

This is a troll


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Feb 8, 2003)

Quotes everyone that talked about Hivemind thread, mixes up their names and opinions, post half-hearted attempt to explain Hivemind that only Hiveminders can understand, makes obscure ENWorld in-joke, fails to reply to root beer question, ignores topic, blathers on a bit more about Hivemind, invites everyone to join in the thread, vaguely insults someone who has made a comment about OT threads, uses  smiley repeatedly until other posters want to make me eat it, leaves.


----------



## Tom Cashel (Feb 8, 2003)

I have not read past the the third post of this thread but I am angry!  Yes, I am flat-out apoplectic and I'm ranting--_ranting_, I tell you!  I am railing against all of you for feeding the troll and I am bad-mouthing the troll himself in a futile show of ill-tempered one-upmanship.  Finally I am adding a wink to placate Henry the Moderator.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 8, 2003)

Post nothing new to the thread, but suddenly realize that my troll has claimed a new victim with Tom Cashel. Laugh hysterically and cruise over to Fark.com.


----------



## Redleg06 (Feb 9, 2003)

Evil Drow were around long before Barq's Rootbeer. But the OBVIOUS relationship between Good Drow and "The New" Coke prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Good Drow are a Bad Idea.

(LOL at own joke  )


----------



## Ciaran (Feb 9, 2003)

Reads the initial post and scratches head, honestly confused as to how someone can be so painfully misguided.  Continues to read the thread, growing more irritated by the moment by insults being flung about by the participants.  Wonders why everyone can’t just get along?  

Finally succumbs to urge to reply.  Picks out Tom Cashel’s post to reply to, on the basis that it’s relatively recent and thus is fair game.  Posts long, reasonable-sounding response to Tom Cashel’s post, explaining how subject of Baerendur’s original diatribe isn’t as bad as all that, indicating numerous logical errors in Tom Cashel’s rant, and generally trying to calm things down.  Unfortunately, writes post in a prose style so redolent with self-satisfied intellectual arrogance that it only makes things worse.

Sends off post in the delusion that this has somehow Made A Difference.


----------



## baradtgnome (Feb 9, 2003)

Wastes valuable moments of his life monitoring this pointless troll in the fruitless hope of finding just the right response that will vindicate his point of view.  A point of view that he isn't even sure that he remembers.

Does not get his 15 minutes of fame this time.  Again.  Goes back to his miserable existance.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 9, 2003)

I declare myself the winner, I base this on the fact that "I like me". Now that I have won I feel it is sensless to continue, but I do anyway. Smiley face laced insults for all my worthy subjects and the leg of a Black Angus tossed to the troll. 

Agree with new coke being bad but disagree with the stereotyping of Good Drow as flash in the pan gimmicks like Pepsi Blue, Pepsi Clear or even Pepsi twist, strike that, they are flash in the pan marketing blunders, glad I could change you to my point of view. Compare Baraendur to failed soft drink marketing gimicks, add smile to lessen the blow


----------



## Azure Trance (Feb 10, 2003)

Brings the troll-thread back from the dead after contesting JDavis claim of superiority in the case of irrefutable logic.


----------



## Silver Moon (Feb 11, 2003)

> _Originally posted by MerricB _*Blathers about how stupid people are who use ALL CAPS.
> 
> Cheers! *




Realizes that MerricB is a good target to get a rise out of so quotes him, states that ALL CAPS is a sign of high intelligence for all people who live above the equator, and that Cheers is the name of a bar. 

Makes one last attempt to derail the thread, writing a very long paragraph that manages to tie together the phrases "J.R.R. Tolkien was an overrated children's author", "2nd Edition is clearly superior to 3rd", "Timothy Dalton was the best James Bond", and "Should Gilligan have chosen Mary Ann or Ginger?" 

Sits back, and waits to see if anyone will take the bait.


----------



## Isida Kep'Tukari (Feb 13, 2003)

After searching the backpages of the boards, resurrects old troll topic and offers innocent opinion on the first post, ignoring all subsequent flames.  Also shows off new avatar.  Ends with joke amusing only to people who go to the same unversity.


----------



## MerricB (Feb 13, 2003)

Silver Moon said:
			
		

> *Realizes that MerricB is a good target to get a rise out of so quotes him, states that ALL CAPS is a sign of high intelligence for all people who live above the equator, and that Cheers is the name of a bar. *




Explains that *bold text* is a sign of high intelligence south of the equator, and that *bold, italic, underlined, coloured and serifed fonts * are the sign of an intelligence on overload.

Explains also that if one is typing in a bar, as one is, Cheers! is an entirely appropriate salutation.

Also grumbles about Americanised spelling, their overuse of 'z' and their underuse of 'u', before wondering what the point of the original post was.

!sreehC


----------



## jdavis (Feb 13, 2003)

stares disbelieving at the thread that wouldn't die. 

Tolkien was a underated Root Beer drinker, Timothy Dalton was the best Good Drow, The best edition was the special edition, and Gilligan was doing Mrs Howell on the side.


----------



## Speaker (Feb 13, 2003)

States that Tolkien made several allusions to "The one root beer" throughout his books, which are, of course, full of allegory to the soft drink markets, a couple world wars, and the state of our modern world.

Continues with a verbal diatribe full of pernicious and inflammatory diction.  Wastes a few overly long words on the topic, most of which sound self-satisfied.  Comments on how great this thread is, everyone voicing their own repressed opinions, so on and so forth.  Attempts to make the previous arguments seem small and petty.  Fails.  Instead, marks himself as the most arrogant poster on this thread yet.

Ends with some comic relief, which no one gets.  But it is funny, really!

Says Cheers, forgetting the controversy that word spawned just a few posts up in the thread.

Signs his name as the final touch of self-righteous humbug.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 13, 2003)

Congratulates self for starting "The thread that won't die." Makes a thinly veiled fascist rootbeer remark. Insists that Osama doesn't drink rootbeer at all, which is why he is such a horrible, horrible person. Agrees with nothing Speaker says, except for the humor part.


----------



## Whodat (Feb 13, 2003)

Is so annoyed by the longevity of this thread that he posts something blatantly political, religious and controversial in a desperate attempt to get the moderators to close the thread.

Closes post with inflammatory comment, using language Eric’s grandma would not approve, in order to assure thread closure and victory!

-
-
-
-
-

Is both humbled and amazed to see thread some time later, with a post from the moderators directed specifically at this post.  Wonders why the moderators have banned him.

Oops!


----------



## Larry Fitz (Feb 13, 2003)

Posts in the mistaken belief that this would be a good thread to promote latest project, _Cabbages, Luminaries and Soft Drinks! A non-sequitur handbook_. Tries to lure people to  innappropriate link. . Makes placating comments to all sides of argument, which only serve to infuriate all involved and two or three people who would have otherwise ignored this thread. Attempts esoteric comments for insiders, while being painfully obvious that they are forced and unnatural. Ends with lame joke attempting to beatify Eric, Russ, and the original poster without referencing any of the three by name.


----------



## baradtgnome (Feb 13, 2003)

*Undead thread!*

Rolls to turn thread.  Fails.

Goes back to miserable existance.


----------



## incognito (Feb 13, 2003)

Rips off recent comendian's joke: "Osama bin Laden is an Uncle Tom"  - and messes up puchline such that everyone assumes his joke post was serious.

Does not care that thread will not die, becsause there is nothing better to do with one's day anyway, except play 3E, which requires at least one other friend - and is genrally frowned up in the office.

Implies a very important quote is coming, but then just copies the entire posts of several posters like this:



> Rolls to turn thread. Fails.
> Goes back to miserable existance.






> Posts in the mistaken belief that this would be a good thread to promote latest project, Cabbages, Luminaries and Soft Drinks! A non-sequitur handbook. Tries to lure people to innappropriate link. . Makes placating comments to all sides of argument, which only serve to infuriate all involved and two or three people who would have otherwise ignored this thread. Attempts esoteric comments for insiders, while being painfully obvious that they are forced and unnatural. Ends with lame joke attempting to beatify Eric, Russ, and the original poster without referencing any of the three by name.






> Is so annoyed by the longevity of this thread that he posts something blatantly political, religious and controversial in a desperate attempt to get the moderators to close the thread.




Call's One moderator a Pir-Cat clone, Claims he is Eric's grandpa, and insists he'd be the best moderator.  Awaits other poster to agree.  Is shocked when they don't.  Starts thread in Meta about his path to becoming a moderator.

_Edits to correct his pathetic HTML_


----------



## jdavis (Feb 14, 2003)

Angered that Dragon Magazine bashing thread is longer than Iconic troll thread, this thread is much more offensive and is worlds more important to global life. 

Repeat every statement I have ever made but differently and with differnt types of smiley faces, admonish faithful to get back on track and back to the subject at hand, I forgot what that was but it really needs to be gotten back too


----------



## baradtgnome (Feb 14, 2003)

Must....drive....stake....through....the....heart....of....this....thread.  Must....not....succumb....to....the....deadly....allure....of....posting.  Thread....is...evil....and....must....perish.  Must....save....others........

Must....
Must...
Must..
Must.

Must thank all the lovely posters and their well articulated opinions.  Agrees with all posters on all sides of the argument.  Hopes this wonderful discussion can go on forever.  Live forever, live forever, live forever.


----------



## Jemal (Feb 14, 2003)

I GET EXTREMELY ANGRY AT WHOEVER DISAGREED WITH THIS THREADS ORIGINATOR, AND START YELLING 4-LETTER WORDS AT THEM.      

Then attempt to make everybody beleive that I have read the entire thread and have valid reasons that everybody but me is wrong, though it is obvious by my lack of detail that such a thing is untrue.

End by saying something vaguely prophetic that could be taken in almost any way.

Suddenly remember to add that this thread drives me crazy with laughter.


----------



## ninthcouncil (Feb 14, 2003)

Uses vague aside by previous poster to segue into lengthy ramble about obscure British cultural reference that will be entirely incomprehensible to 99% of readers.

Retires feeling smug.


----------



## Tom Cashel (Feb 14, 2003)

Responds in smarmy (but not rude) manner to name-calling.

Sits back and waits for Henry the Moderator to name-check me as he closes the thread.


----------



## Jemal (Feb 14, 2003)

this post is meant to be a double post.


----------



## Jemal (Feb 14, 2003)

Actually understands obscure british cultural reference and uses it as tool to insult Americans, Germans, and all other non-Canadians & Non-brits, bringing up a certain American president as many times as possible in an attempt to enrage the moderators into closing the thread.

Then comments that said thread has had many comments that would warrant its closing, and thus must be immune to moderator power.

Laughs maniacally while detailing plan to take over world using this thread.

Ends by sticking out tongue  at smarmy reply and making an innefectual comeback


----------



## cofbaron (Feb 14, 2003)

Sees thread title and page count, does not read any of the thread except for the initial troll, posts opinion which mayor may not have anything to do with where the thread may have goneover the last six pages. Psots without previwe or spellchek. Leaves, never comes back. 

Cecil


----------



## Silver Moon (Feb 14, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *Tolkien was a underated Root Beer drinker, Timothy Dalton was the best Good Drow, The best edition was the special edition, and Gilligan was doing Mrs Howell on the side. *



Logs in and takes great satisfaction at having lured three posters into responding to my various trolls-within-a-troll.  Quotes jdavis, and responds with: Point #1 is a myth, Tolkien was both a overrated children's author and a drinker of Ginger Ale; Point #2 Timothy Dalton is the best Bond (drow or not), and should get the lifetime achievement Oscar this year; Point #3 All editions of AD&D should be thrown away in the trash as they are Satanic; Point #4 Gilligan only wanted to do Mrs. Howell, he never acted on that impulse, leaving her to the Professor.

Decides to lure several other posters back to the thread.  Begins with Barendur's original topic, again stating that he and his followers are TOTALLY WRONG!  States that Barendur makes broad generalities, which is inappropriate, as "All General Statements are False".  Goes on to use a hypthetical example with characters and a situation from Seasong's current Story Hour, being careful to mess up the facts from the story.  Tells MerricB to get used to American spelling, that it is the language of the future.  Thanks baradtgnome for the enlightenment, saying that it made a profound difference in my life.   Logs out feeling satisfied with self.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Feb 14, 2003)

ninthcouncil said:
			
		

> *Uses vague aside by previous poster to segue into lengthy ramble about obscure British cultural reference that will be entirely incomprehensible to 99% of readers.
> 
> Retires feeling smug. *




Corrects obscure British cultural reference as it was actually wrong, puts up even more obscure reference to something that would only be funny if you were a) at the same university as me b) in my theatre class and c) drunk when it happened, assumes everyone else will know what I'm talking about, fails to respond to anyone or anything else, pimps Daredevil review in Sci-fi forum, leaves feeling smugger than Ninthcouncil.

Returns very briefly to mention that when I met him in real life I would never have guessed that he would have had such a strange opinion.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 14, 2003)

I feel that neither monkeys or cheese has been mentioned enough in this thread yet so I will:

MONKEYS

CHEESE

My opinion on this is not up for debate, it is fact. Disagreeing with my opinion on monkeys or cheese will not be tolerated.


----------



## D-rock (Feb 15, 2003)

Do to apperently being lazy and having to many windows open it I accedently post a reply that is intended to be for another thread.  Everybody either thinks I am going insane or am some kind of master troll thats spreading napalm over this tread to further the hatred and chaos that seems to be finally coming to an end.  Somebody finally figures out what happend and semi-politely tells me that I posted in the wrong place.  I purposly get ten times more sensitive about it than I should and go on a total multi-frontal insulting spree of everyone that has previously posted.  I switch oppinions at a drop of a hat whenever it will help the shouting match continue.  I burn every bridge I can.  Heck, I almost insult Eric's grandmother directly, but no not yet, I don't want to get banded just yet.  I'll save that for later.
I even put multiple gramer mistakes into my reply to reaffirm others supperiority over me.  Then I sit back and watch my handywork that came about from my apperent accident.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 26, 2003)

Bumps post in a lame effort to resurrect interest.


----------



## haiiro (Feb 26, 2003)

Taking Baraendur's post as a sign of renewed interest in the thread, posts basically the same vaguely on-topic thing he posted before (which got no reponses) -- hoping that this time someone will notice it.

Refreshes the thread for a while, then goes back to dredging up older threads and responding to them.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 26, 2003)

Responds to haiiro's post with hostility in an effort to aknowledge haiiro's efforts and to stir up controversy again.

Makes a rambling assertion that Eric's Grandmother has no juisdiction here since these aren't Eric's boards anymore.

Disagrees with JDavis's statements about monkeys and cheese.


----------



## Remathilis (Feb 26, 2003)

Uses the terms "corporate vampire" "nazi", "T$R" and "broken" in various variants.

Ends with  smilies.


----------



## haiiro (Feb 26, 2003)

Reminisces about how much he misses saying "T$R." Relates the anecdote from Murphy's Rules about how T$R trademarked the word "nazi" in their Indiana Jones boardgame. Wonders vaguely why "Wot¢" never caught on. Adds an obligatory  to show how cute he thinks this post is.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 26, 2003)

See's the thread has returned, weeps openly.

Refuses to tolerate disagreement on monkeys and cheese, doing so is considered crossing the line. Rambles incoherently about the reasons why and what possible repercussions this act could have. Then changes opinion completly and decides that Monkeys and cheese have been mentioned too much and accuses Baraendur of trying to pull his own thread off topic by bringing them up.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 26, 2003)

Insists that monkeys and cheese are NOT a religion and admonishes Jdavis for trying to sneak in the last word in this debate.


----------



## jonesy (Feb 26, 2003)

Implies that monkeys smell and so does cheese, then proceeds
to inform that Monkees was a great band who probably used
a lot of cheese, then ends by saying that cheese, unless french,
should never be given to monkeys. Adds that french cheese is
weird and that monkeys in France are more polite than in other
countries (except Poland, where they probably had one as their
president once, or so it was heard from a friend of a friend of a
relative who went there on his cheesy monkey trip five cheese
ago). Monkey.


----------



## mistergone (Feb 26, 2003)

Stumbles into thread not aware of what is going on or anything that has been said, but replies nonetheless, perhaps simply to inflate personal post-count in some delusional quest to gain some unspecified and nonexistant status, then returns to eating dougnuts and masturbating.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 26, 2003)

Insist that people are just using my off topic rant to go off topic, admonish them for not sticking to the topic, even though it is long lost to the mysteries of time. Insist that it's "betta with fetta" and that Pepper Jack is not a pirate name.

Thinks that some people are confusing monkeys with chimps, and that getting funky like a monkey is not always a good thing. 

Accuse everyone who is thinking about replying to my off topic discussion as missing the point and going off topic in a attempt to get away from how right I really am on the subject of the thread, whatever that was.

Insult people who have never posted to this thread just in case I miss them posting later  Agree with everybody who argees with all that I agree with and disagree with those who disagree with what I disagree with, attack those who disagree with my agreements.


----------



## Eridanis (Feb 26, 2003)

Six pages and three weeks after it started, I post to a thread I let slip past me the first time, but I add some comment that I take time to make well-phrased and cogent. Everyone else will completely ignore it, because no one cares about the original point or about my comments about it.

I go back, reread, and correct typos. I invariably miss one or tow.

I then click "submit reply" and forget to turn off the Email Notification, so my inbox will be filled for days to come with reminders to check a thread I've already said my piece about, and have no intention of returning to.


----------



## incognito (Feb 26, 2003)

general comments about certain posters who just **can't** let things go.

Insults Hong, for no apparent reason other than Hong's an easy target (ooi!)

Makes some comment that had everything to do with personal life, and nothing to do with the thread...

Or monkeys...OR cheese.

Notes that the moderators have ignored this thread, and probably will continue to do so until it hits 9 pages or so, and feels it is the duty of all us to speed this along.

Thinks that "Wot¢" is pretty funny.


----------



## Bagpuss (Feb 26, 2003)

Gets disappointed that the thread hasn't been closed by a moderator, since a real troll would have by now.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 26, 2003)

This is apparently a master troll, much more powerful than a normal troll.


----------



## Guilt Puppy (Feb 26, 2003)

Posts a reply clearly showing that I have not read most of the thread, including the previous person who has not read much of the thread. Read the first page very closely to get both sides of the argument, then go off about some _third_ side of the argument I invent, all while switching person and tense. Sits back expecting to be lauded as a prophet for my insight and perspective.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 26, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *This is apparently a master troll, much more powerful than a normal troll. *




Iconic even...?


----------



## Burne (Feb 26, 2003)

As a latecomer to the thread, I post a brilliant, but slightly mispelled, argument that totally vindicates and illuminates some previous poster's words.  Sadly, said poster was last seen on page 2, and I failed to quote any of the post in question.

Shortly, thereafter I post an angry tirade about how no one respects my views, which are clearly better than your views.  At this time I also modify my Sig to subtly mock whomever is reading this right now.


Look ma, I'm a troll too!


----------



## Robbert Raets (Feb 27, 2003)

Inform jdavis that pepper was quite valueable during the golden age (of sail).

Question the parentage of whoever opened this snake basket (once again).

Commend Burne for reading Terry Pratchett (the writer of DiscWorld, for the unenlightened among you).


----------



## Kriskrafts (Feb 27, 2003)

Silver Moon said:
			
		

> *Point #1 is a myth, Tolkien was both a overrated children's author and a drinker of Ginger Ale; Point #2 Timothy Dalton is the best Bond (drow or not), and should get the lifetime achievement Oscar this year; Point #3 All editions of AD&D should be thrown away in the trash as they are Satanic; Point #4 Gilligan only wanted to do Mrs. Howell, he never acted on that impulse, leaving her to the Professor.
> 
> Goes on to use a hypthetical example with characters and a situation from Seasong's current Story Hour, being careful to mess up the facts from the story.  Tells MerricB to get used to American spelling, that it is the language of the future.  Thanks baradtgnome for the enlightenment, saying that it made a profound difference in my life.*




Silver Moon logs back into this thread, and is bothered that nobody latched onto any of the trolls-within-a-troll.   Is very surprised that Seasong, MerricB, and baradtgnome did not respond either. 

Decides to give everyone a second chance, but logs in under wife's EN World account to make it less obvious.   Under the alias states that  1) Nobody reads Tolkien anymore; 2) Timothy Dalton would have made a better Spiderman than Toby Maguire; 3) D&D is Satanic, as are most RPG's, the exception being Call of Cthulhu, which should be played at elementary schools; 4) Mrs. Howell and the Skipper were clearly lovers.   

Makes a final comment about Eric's Grandma being hospitalized after a monkey attack for refusing to share her cheese with them.


----------



## Azure Trance (Feb 27, 2003)

A quick glance at the thread gives the realization of horror that this thread will truly never end (as the troll that it is won't). Weeping to myself, I only hope that it reaches 800 posts quicker with every passing day.


----------



## dreadnought (Feb 27, 2003)

Breaks into the thread not having read any except for the last few posts and therefore possessing no real clue what its about. Introduces notion that we should all live in peace and stop fighting about a vague litany of things. Expresses repeatedly the horror of feeling obligated to shell out for 3.5 e, despite that topic never having been raised but argues self into justifying such a purchase in the same sentence. Uses the word "***" gratuitously, but regrets it and edits it out later.

_Word "poo" edited out by dreadnought. _


----------



## baradtgnome (Mar 1, 2003)

Driven mad by this troll, this poster has been missing for over a week.  Staggering, wandering, searching for enlightenment, he finds sanctuary in a Tibetan monastery.  During that time achieves enlightenment and inner peace.  Leaves monastery to rejoin world, discovers that he was only in New Jersey, discovers this satanic, undead troll is still extant, and begins to go mad again.

Resolves to eat some cheese and spank the monkey.

Everyone who does not is tedious and in love with Mrs Howell.


----------



## jonesy (Mar 1, 2003)

Makes a long essay on the apparent anti-flame properties
of certain trolls and comments that maybe the moderators
should start using napalm on a grand scale.
Ends up on a sidetrack on the use of napalm during wars
and rants about the need to issue a worldwide ban on its
use.
Gets thoroughly confused after countering his own post
and runs out of the house yelling "Big Bad Boost Bob!"
Sneaks back inside when realizes that everyone is staring
at him and tries to cancel the post, but accidentally clicks
the 'submit reply' button.


----------



## Darkness (Mar 1, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *Iconic even...? *



Paragon.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Mar 1, 2003)

Darkness said:
			
		

> *Paragon.  *




Woohoo!

All trolls shall bow down and worship me!

That said, I launch into a tirade about napalm, monkeys, and cheese. I then roll that up into the original topic that was so controversial so that it is, at least arguably, relevant. I sign off by insulting anyone who is into diceless roleplaying, LARPs, or Vampire.

Edit post to make it coherant.


----------



## MerricB (Mar 1, 2003)

Makes a non-sequitur post, urging all to go to my site where I've just put up a scan of the 1981 TSR Catalog - Gateway to Adventure  which will really give you something to argue about.

Ends post in the middle of a


----------



## Piratecat (Mar 1, 2003)

Gives Baraendur a brief lesson on how to put a live link in his .sig. Gets it wrong.

Comments on Merric's picture. Comments on Incognito's dog. Condemns trolls. Reminisces after Bugaboo.

Edits post to add additional pithy comments, and then re-edits it to obsessively remove typos.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 2, 2003)

Never mind me just upping my postcount.

Aw heck I can't resist, attack everyone for no good reason, compare everyone who has ever posted here to Cincinnati Bengals Football team. Boldly state that D&D movie was much better than either Lord of the Rings movies, and showed true cinimatic genious. The Professor ran a Crack House and Mary Ann prostituted herself for coconuts to the Skipper. 

Random smile attack so no comment can be taken personal            Fear my powers of confusion.


----------



## 8XXX{0}====> (Mar 2, 2003)

mocks everyone for having a pronouncable username. comments briefly on some minor point brought up on page two.


----------



## Kriskrafts (Mar 3, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *Boldly state that D&D movie was much better than either Lord of the Rings movies.*




Agrees with jdavis, stating that they shouldn't even bother finishing the third Rings movie, and go straight to D&D II instead. 

Takes fiendish delight in luring both baradtgnome and MerricB back to the thread.  Is also delighted that several people have latched onto both the anti-Tolkien and Gilligan's Island trolls!

Notices that Piratecat has made a post.  Decides that Piratecat probably will not go to the effort of looking up 'kriskrafts' and realize that it is SilverMoon under his wife's account, so makes a comment about Piratecat's youthful indiscretions.  Attaches a picture of a kitten with its paw stuck in a wine bottle.


----------



## megamania (Mar 3, 2003)

"?"

Is this a warped Hivemind?!?!


----------



## Darrin Drader (Mar 4, 2003)

Mocks megamania for his ignorance. Follows with smileys to make it appear that this was not a snyde comment meant to demonstrate his apparent lack of comprehension.     

Suggests that megamania's point really backs up the original point I made, which has been convoluted, misinterpreted, and confused with numerous other topics. Attempts to put the subject back on track by highilighting the major points that have been made throughout the entire thread, and why they are all wrong.

Monkeys, cheese, Maryanne was virtually a nun while Mrs. Howell was the one prostituting for coconuts, but the D&D movie really was an American classic.

Ends by thanking Piratecat for helping create a live link in my signature.

As a post script, suggests that everyone with a different point of view go gnome themselves.

Edits post to correct spelling mistake.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 4, 2003)

megamania said:
			
		

> *"?"
> 
> Is this a warped Hivemind?!?! *




Hivemind? Ha! the fate of the universe is being decided here, or at least the fate of the cast of Gilligan's Island.

If the off topic topic has gotten back on topic then I think that I have forgotten the topic. Unfortuantly the tread is too long to reread so I'll ramble on about any old topic and hope I am on track. Will state that I didn't actually read the tread although I have been posting to it for a while and will butcher and misquote as many posters as posible in order to make my irrelevant point, at which time I will launch a smiley faced attack to block all personal offenses taken      Time to wander off in a forgetful daze.............................


----------



## jonesy (Mar 4, 2003)

Strongly objects that the fate of the universe had anything to
do with monkeys, cheese, trolls, spam or pie. Althought they
do fit nicely together.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 4, 2003)

jonesy said:
			
		

> *Strongly objects that the fate of the universe had anything to
> do with monkeys, cheese, trolls, spam or pie. Althought they
> do fit nicely together.  *




Make note that the cast of Gilligan's Island was not in the list of subjects objected too in relationship to fate of universe.


----------



## Kriskrafts (Mar 6, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *Make note that the cast of Gilligan's Island was not in the list of subjects objected too in relationship to fate of universe. *




Takes great delight in this thread still being alive and well.  Takes even more delight that the Gilligan's Island tangent that I started weeks ago is still a hot troll-within-a-troll.   Quotes the above and writes that  _"Sherwood Schwartz, the creator of the Gilligan's Island series originally wanted to make an analogy to society as a whole, pondering that people with absolutely nothing in common could learn to get along and work together for the common good.  So therefore, one could justify stating that it is related to the fate of the universe, in that it promotes universal truths."_

Decides to start yet another troll-within-a-troll, but can't think of anything much to talk about.    Notices again that Seasong hasn't been here in a while, so makes another reference to characters and situations in his current story hour, being sure to mess up some of the facts.


----------



## MerricB (Mar 6, 2003)

Makes a post completely unrelated to anything else, wondering where an August Personage has been recently.

Cheers!


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Mar 6, 2003)

Puts up link supposed about subject, which in actuality links to his Outwar game, thus gaining him valuable resources in the fight against other random internet types.

Looks innocent and whistles if anyone points out what a sneaky tactic this is.

Oh, by the way, take a look at this:

Wow, it's so exciting and relevant!


----------



## Darrin Drader (Mar 7, 2003)

Exposes Tallarn's ruse for the blatant self promotion that it is.

Points out that Kriskrafts post is a little to specific to be considered meta.

Apologizes for bumping this thread, thereby thrusting it once more into the forefront of public consciousness.

Suggests that the fate of the world is being decided right here and now, and that cheezewhiz will play an important but diabolical roll, as will fruit rollups and the harsh desert sands.


----------



## Michael Morris (Mar 7, 2003)

Posts a Rodney Kingish "Can't we all just get along" message with the ulterior motive of getting his sig into yet another thread, thus further increasing the number of links back to his site.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Mar 7, 2003)

Scoffs at Michael_Morrus for promoting his own site, gets his name wrong, accuses him of blatant self-promotion and pimping, fails to spot hideous amount of hypocrisy in own post.

No, honest, it's really exciting!


----------



## dreadnought (Mar 7, 2003)

Rants at Tallarn for tricking him into clicking the *#*$&^%*&^ thug link AGAIN. Launches into long diatribe about abuses on the boards before losing the thread of his argument and resorting to semi-intelligible cheap shots. Calls Tallarn a "stupid monkey" and curses his moustache. Clicks SUMBIT in fury and immediately regrets doing so.

Later edits post in a fit of guilt, tries to emend it to sound cheerful but only succeeds in insulting Tallarn further.


----------



## Arken (Mar 7, 2003)

Backs the claim that the DnD movie was aclassic by saying that a still-living and much respected science fiction or fantasy writer is rubbish.

States that Tolkien couldn't write and that the Dragonlance novels are infinitely better than LOTR.

Waits for flaming with glee.

OT: (contradiction or what ) Has everyone seen this? feel free to draw inspiration from it) Flame Warriors :OT


----------



## Kriskrafts (Mar 7, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *Points out that Kriskrafts post is a little to specific to be considered meta.*



Realizes that Baraendur is right (about this point, not about the original troll topic).  Goes back into earlier posting and makes edit more in line with the meta-theme.

Decides to launch two more tangent trolls, stating that "Captain Archer is much better than either Kirk or Picard" and also stating "Tomatoes are technically considered a fruit, but I've always thought of them as vegetables." 

Once more thanks Baradtgnome for the enlightenment and asking MerricB what is so great about Australia.   Finishes by once again point out that Baraendur is TOTALLY WRONG about his original posting that started the thread.


----------



## jonesy (Mar 8, 2003)

> Backs the claim that the DnD movie was aclassic by saying that a still-living and much respected science fiction or fantasy writer is rubbish.




Notes that this still-living and much respected science fiction or
fantasy writer died a year ago, and that he was never really
respected or in fact had nothing to do with either science fiction
or fantasy. Doughnuts however taste good and the DnD movie
is the best thing since sliced bread with cheese on top.


----------



## Kriskrafts (Mar 9, 2003)

Tallarn said:
			
		

> *Scoffs at Michael_Morrus for promoting his own site, gets his name wrong, accuses him of blatant self-promotion and pimping, fails to spot hideous amount of hypocrisy in own post.*



Quotes Tallarn, but is really just using this as an excuse to bump the thread back up.   Points out the hideous amount of hypocrisy of Tallaran's criticism of Michael_Morrus, due to the plug for his own Story Hour.   Makes one more redundant point about the original topic, before putting in a plug for two story hours:

“League of Assassins” Story Hour thread:
http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/show...&threadid=37644

““Chinese Take-out” Story Hour thread:
http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/show...42&pagenumber=1

Makes comment about Mr. Howell, just because he was the only Gilligan's Island character not yet referenced.  Logs off feeling self satisfied.


----------



## baradtgnome (Mar 9, 2003)

Outraged about plugs in trolls, mostly because I have nothing worth plugging.

States that the professor had the hots for the skipper, only because I want Maryann for myself.

Knowing that tomatoes are a fruit and not really a vegetable is a good start down the path of enlightenment.  However, science can be legislated and lobbies for granite to be made an endangered species.  Because you just never know.

Complains about the common trouble of getting harsh desert sand in my cheese whiz.  Hey, have you every tried it on fruit roll ups, it is great!

Points out that Sherwood Schwartz was obviously wrong, just look around at these boards.  And that 1 Billion monkeys typing randomly on keyboards will not statistically produce the combined works of Shakespear, again, just look around at these boards.

Anyone who takes offense at the monkey reference has something to hide.  "want a banana?"

Thanks Eric's grandma for being just the way she is, don't ever change babe.

Looks back in horror at this post but the chaotic part of him just presses submit reply


----------



## ichabod (Mar 9, 2003)

Sarcastically lambasts all of you for missing blatantly obvious points which were made earlier in this thread, but which I did not notice because I have not read the whole thing.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Mar 9, 2003)

Kriskrafts said:
			
		

> *
> Quotes Tallarn, but is really just using this as an excuse to bump the thread back up.   Points out the hideous amount of hypocrisy of Tallaran's criticism of Michael_Morrus, due to the plug for his own Story Hour.   Makes one more redundant point about the original topic, before putting in a plug for two story hours:*




Quotes Kriskrafts for outrageous error - I don't have a SH, doofus! Adds smiley to show it is meant in fun, but is actually very annoyed.

Pimps threads, makes Hivemind joke, bashes hong with a stick, eats a banana, jumps through logical hoops to explain why Rangers are the best character class, leaves feeling ready to return at an instants notice and defend himself.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Mar 10, 2003)

Sees that the thread has made its inevitable return, and adds inflamatory comments mocking the new round of posts.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 10, 2003)

Call for flame thrower unit, this Troll is obviously immune to conventional weapons.

Plug my website, remember I don't have a website so I plug another website at random (come see my cool website: http://www.msn.com/  I am so cool............
 ) Secretly wish I had my own website.

Wonder if 1 billion typing monkeys were responsible for last Robert Jordan book? Mention cheese because monkeys were mentioned, mention that the D&D movie was "too cool for school", mention that it was all Skipper's fault they were trapped on the island in the first place, call for the removal of his sea-going charter license, tomatoes are neither fruit nor vegtable they are containers of pure evil that must be stopped, sand flavored cheesewiz didn't test good in market surveys. 

Quit thread in a huff never to return, at least for a hour or so or until my name is mentioned or I feel like posting how angry I am and quiting the thread again.

Add mad smiley for dramatic effect


----------



## Bendris Noulg (Mar 10, 2003)

Ramble on needlessly about following this flame fest from its very beginning and just plane and simply being tired of seeing it.

Berates everyone that has needlessly instigated it further, thus instigating it further myself.

Comment that I shouldn't have read it in the first place, since it was obviously a troll.

Quick prayer that the mods finally close this thread so the people I don't agree with (whom are obviously idiots) will finally shut up.

Compliment jonesy for the insightful sig.


----------



## Kriskrafts (Mar 10, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *States that the professor had the hots for the skipper, only because I want Maryann for myself.
> 
> Knowing that tomatoes are a fruit and not really a vegetable is a good start down the path of enlightenment.  However, science can be legislated and lobbies for granite to be made an endangered species.  Because you just never know.
> 
> ...




Takes delight that the thread lingers onward.  Decides to ignore Tallarn's insult.  Has long debate as to whether to quote baradtgnome or jdavis.  Finally picks Barad only because he also lives in New England.   Decides to comment on each of the above:

1.  Comments that the professor only had the hots for inventing new stuff; 

2.  Agrees that granite should be put on the endangered species list, right after SuperModels who play AD&D; 

3.  Comments that the billion monkeys would eat a lot of bananas and make a lot of monkey poop, so it would be more economical to just go out and buy a copy of the combined works of Shakespear;  

4. Comments on how funny it is that both Sherwood Schwarz and Shakespear are mentioned in the same general comment; 

5.  Agrees that Eric's grandma is a real babe, and should appear in next month's issue of PlayGrampy; 

Concludes by making an obligatory comment about the original topic.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Mar 10, 2003)

Tries to make tough talk about calling out Kriskrafts and making him defend himself in order to prolong this now incredibly stupid long and pointless thread, instead ends up looking more like a graceless buffoon who can't take a joke.

Departs, preparing mental battle strategies to prove once and for all why up is better than down.


----------



## baradtgnome (Mar 10, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *Wonder if 1 billion typing monkeys were responsible for last Robert Jordan book? *




(tries not to spill the gasoline on himself)
No, but several billion reading monkeys are responible for it's sales count.
(he, he, he)

goes off to look for supermodels playing D&D...


----------



## Clay_More (Mar 10, 2003)

Tries to hide the fact that I only read the first page of posts as well as the last by posting a message of such general uselessness that it would prove useless no matter which thread it was used as a response to (as opposed to the replies that hold such great wisdom that they should be interesting for people not originally interested in the post). 

Makes this post extremely long by explaining into depth the further ramifications of the useless message, which was written in the form of a sage-quote, as to further emphasize its uselessness. 

Looks down and notices that last post had something concerning monkeys posted. Tells lousy story about last time I was at Gibraltar and someone put a potato down my shirt that a monkey came and grabbed by putting its hand down there. Makes laughing smiley to emphasize lousyness of lousy story. 

Begins to cry in front of keyboard, wondering why no one likes me. Gives up being diplomatic and writes last piece of post in hateful manner that carries excellent arguments, just not arguments that have anything to do with this thread, or the roleplaying community in general....

Edits Message for additional uselessness... will probably edit later again..... even though that fact is useless to readers...

Edits Message yet again. Makes comment to Bendris Noulg that his frequent use of the word "Flux" is lame


----------



## Jack Daniel (Mar 11, 2003)

I MUST ANNOUNCE MY OPINION IN THE MOST OBNOXIOUS FONT POSSIBLE.

I then jump in and add my own overpowered alt.ranger, even though it takes up huge post space and has marginal relivance to the topic.


```
[color=silver]The Overpowered Ranger: An Extra-Wide Table Almost Certain to Render the Post Painful to Read and Render the Format of the Whole Thread Utterly Ruined
Lvl   Attack  Save  Special
1     +1      +2    Overpowered Ability, Shoehorned into Archery
2     +2      +3    Overpowered Ability
3     +3      +3    Overpowered Ability    
4     +4      +4    Overpowered Ability, Lack of Spells
5     +5      +4    Overpowered Ability   
6     +6      +5    Overpowered Ability
7     +7      +5    Overpowered Ability
8     +8      +6    Overpowered Ability
9     +9      +6    Overpowered Ability
10    +10     +7    Overpowered Ability
11    +11     +7    Overpowered Ability
12    +12     +8    Overpowered Ability
13    +13     +8    Overpowered Ability
14    +14     +9    Overpowered Ability
15    +15     +9    Overpowered Ability
16    +16     +10   Overpowered Ability
17    +17     +10   Overpowered Ability
18    +18     +11   Overpowered Ability
19    +19     +11   Overpowered Ability
20    +20     +12   Overpowered Ability
[/color]
```

Hit Points: Not enough.
Skill Points: Too many.
Aligment: I don't use that in my campaign.
Overpowered Ability: You get one at every level.
Shoehorned into Archery: Because I'm morally superior to people who shoehorn the ranger into two-weapon fighting.
Lack of Spells: Because I'm a better game designer than the writers of original D&D and AD&D.

I will now explain how by e-mailing this class into WotC, I expect it to appear in the 3.5 revision, as opposed to something the real game desingers are working on.


----------



## Clay_More (Mar 11, 2003)

Responds by posting Alt. Ranger In Less Annoying Font, but Far More Annoying Table

The Overpowered Ranger Mk. 2
Lvl   Attack  Save  Special1+1+2Overpowered Ability, Shoehorned into Divinity2+2+3Overpowered Ability3+3+3HideouslyOverpowered Ability4+4+4Overpowered Ability, Lack of Spells5+5+4Overpowered Ability6+6+5  Overpowered Ability7+7+5OverpoweredAbility8+8+6Overpowered Ability9     +9+6Overpowered Ability10+10+7Overpowered Ability11+11    +7Overpowered Ability12+12+8Overpowered Ability13+13     +8    Overpowered Ability14+14+9Overpowered Ability15+15     +9    Overpowered Ability16    +16     +10   Overpowered Ability
17 Overpowered Ability18+18  +11  19    +19     +11   Overpowered Ability20    +20     +12   Overpowered Ability

Same As Above. Gets Permanent Haste at lvl. 3
DR 50 / + Class Level


----------



## Bendris Noulg (Mar 11, 2003)

Clay_More said:
			
		

> Edits Message yet again. Makes comment to Bendris Noulg that his frequent use of the word "Flux" is lame



Derides people for being jealous of my own take on psionics, all the while trying to not come across more neurotic than Woody Allen.


----------



## jonesy (Mar 11, 2003)

Kindly informs Bendris Noulg that he appears to be more neurotic
than Woody Allen. Argues that Jack Daniel's ranger build is too
weak and definitely needs more power. Claims that Clay_More's
font hurts the eyes, but agrees that the table is just perfect.


----------



## Remathilis (Mar 11, 2003)

Declares this thread "broken." Goes back into hiding.


----------



## Kriskrafts (Mar 11, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *Plug my website, remember I don't have a website so I plug another website at random (come see my cool website: http://www.msn.com/, mention that it was all Skipper's fault they were trapped on the island in the first place...Add mad smiley for dramatic effect  *




Take great delight that the thread is still on the screen of this message board.    Quote jdavis, and make the following comments:

1.  Thank you for posting your website.  I found it to be very informative, although slightly off-topic from Baraendur's original topic.  

2.  Point out again that Baraendur is TOTALLY WRONG!

3.  Remind jdavis that the Skipper was proven to be not responsible for the shipwreck in Episode #85 "Court Martial".

4.  Comment that  should be called a frown, as 'mad smiley' is an oxymoron.

Decide to continue to take the 'high road' and completely ignore Tallarn's most recent verbal attack against me.   Finish by tossing out my previous troll about Captain Archer being a better starship captain than either Kirk or Picard.    Exit feeling less satisfied than before, and a little bit hungry.  Maybe I should find some cheese...


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Mar 12, 2003)

Makes point about inherent superiority of English cheese, just to try and draw Kriskrafts into discussion.

Annoyes everyone but not finishing his senten


----------



## baradtgnome (Mar 12, 2003)

*cheese wiz, hold the desert sand*

Make my case effectively and with poignant elegance that Sherwood Schwarz was a Sydney Sheldon wannabe; and Jeannie was way hotter than both Marianne and Ginger put together.

Smugly note that a show without magic in it should not be featured on this board and that we should focus on I Dream of Jeannie instead.  

Suggest that supermodels wearing cheese wiz game at my table, though I know better.  Also suggest that Barbara Eden actually guested in one of my adventures as a harem girl, but she didn't like all the die rolling.  Also a lie.

Leave knowing that old pimply faced gamers are now drooling about Barbara Eden and faux cheese adorned bimbos, I can leave feeling vindicated again.

give up on enlightenment and dream of cheese wiz garments...


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Mar 12, 2003)

Posts random picture of Piratecat in wrong thread.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 12, 2003)

Kriskrafts said:
			
		

> *
> 
> *




Agree that Baraendur was 100% wrong (except for the parts I agreed with).

It is Mad Smiley  Mad Smiley  Mad Smiley  Mad Smiley   A oxymoron is a teen who forgot her pimple cream.

The best Starship Captain was Captain Caveman.

Oh yea Baraendur was/is wrong.

Time to get mad and quit thread in a huff again, this time I really really mean it, really, I'm serious..........honest, well at least for a day or so.

Edit: I laugh at your super models, I have Super Duper Models who play at my game, and they say I'm the bomb. Hah I say and Hah again. And they don't stoop to wearing cheesewiz, they only wear 100% real cheese, top that! And Barbara Eden said your game was lame and........and........and...........lame and.......stupid, yea she said it was stupid.


----------



## MerricB (Mar 12, 2003)

Admires picture of Piratecat and wonders if he has been shovelled recently.

Cheers!


----------



## megamania (Mar 12, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *Mocks megamania for his ignorance. Follows with smileys to make it appear that this was not a snyde comment meant to demonstrate his apparent lack of comprehension.
> 
> Suggests that megamania's point really backs up the original point I made, which has been convoluted, misinterpreted, and confused with numerous other topics. Attempts to put the subject back on track by highilighting the major points that have been made throughout the entire thread, and why they are all wrong.
> 
> ...




dude-   you need to do something otherthan Oathbound


----------



## megamania (Mar 12, 2003)

Add to the craziness-

Forty- Four Fighting Furious Furry Ferbals Fell Freely From Five Foreign Frozen Fighter’s Frosted Fingers Forgetting Firsthand Feeble Frettings From Furnishing Forlong Fuddled Feelings Forever


----------



## megamania (Mar 12, 2003)

Isolated In Immense Iced Igloos, Incredible Inedible Immature Insidious Imps Increasingly Itched Iritatingly Inside Issueing Indirect Inclinations Including Intolerable Isometric Invalid Intuitions Insufferably


----------



## megamania (Mar 12, 2003)

I protest having to protest about protesting against protesters protesting about more protesting                      



(Dude-  this is whacked!)
/


----------



## jonesy (Mar 12, 2003)

Offers megamania his marbles back, then quietly leaves.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Mar 12, 2003)

megamania said:
			
		

> *
> 
> dude-   you need to do something otherthan Oathbound *




Points out that despite the fact that the product hasn't been announced yet, I do, in fact, do something other than Oathbound. Something for D&D in fact. But glad to receive the recognition for Oathbound (a very un-trollish sentiment for this thread).

Insists that Jdavis & Kriskrafts are the ones who are wrong, and go into a point by point diatribe about why. The points where these two had agreed with me are re-analyzed in order to point out the flaw in their thinking while continuing to support my original assertion.

As an aside, wonders what Hivemind would be like in meta.

Attempts to intercept megamania's marbles before Jonesy can hand them back.

Adds smileys for good measure


----------



## Bendris Noulg (Mar 12, 2003)

jonesy said:
			
		

> Kindly informs Bendris Noulg that he appears to be more neurotic than Woody Allen.



Gives long-winded speech that shows that I take message boards just _way_ to seriously even though getting involved in this thread should have been evidence enough.

Attempts to bow out of thread by commenting on work needing to be done on long over-due website update.

Tosses in final snide remark about there not being enough Oathbound, the first setting in a decade to get me back into the spirit of being a Player instead of a DM.

Ends with clear and obvious Dune reference tainted by momentary nostalgia for The King (Viva Jim Butler!  Viva Butlerian Jyhad!).


----------



## Dark Eternal (Mar 12, 2003)

Logging onto EnWorld for the first time in a month, I note the existence of this thread.  I then post some vague rules question about prismatic effects in Epic spells that I want to check back on in a few hours, and come here to waste the interim time.  I carefully and methodically read every post, and open every single Story Hour link I come across in the process in another window.  I randomly follow about 22% of the other links in the thread, and read the majority of most of the other threads that seem to be related to similar trolls.  I then go back to all the miniturized windows and read all the Story Hour links that I had opened my first shot through.  I come back to this thread and check to see if anything new or interesting has happened.  Since I'm completely uninterested in the original troll, not to mention having no opinion regarding cabbages, soft drinks, Gilligan's Island, monkeys, cheese, The Lord of the Rings, good or bad drow, or just about anything else that's been brought in to fill the function of a sub-troll, I go back through the thread to see how many virtual newbies have posted.  Deciding that there aren't enough, I break into the thread on the eighth page with a brief but monotonous interlude about love and kindness and Yes music, then proceed to list every single person who has posted to this thread inside huggle brackets, to show that I am unique and different.  

(I maliciously omit Jack Daniel and Clay More from my mad huggle fest, as a very subtle comment on how much I hate their proposed alternate rangers.  I add two extra huggle marks around EricNoah, as an all-too-blatant expression of hero-worship that I don't think anyone will notice.  I somehow fail to observe that I have listed Arken twice.  I debate with myself for five minutes on whether or not to list them all in alphabetical order, and finally decide against.)

{{{ Baraendur }}}
{{{ Alzrius }}}
{{{ Skarp Hedin }}}
{{{ Robbert Raets }}}
{{{ Dagger75 }}}
{{{ tleilaxu }}}
{{{ Dave Blewer }}}
{{{ Frostmarrow }}}
{{{ MonkeyBoy }}}
{{{ GreyShadow }}}
{{{ Bagpuss }}}
{{{ Horacio }}}
{{{ Darkness }}}
{{{ Talvisota }}}
{{{ DDK }}}
{{{ Numion }}}
{{{ Narrator }}}
{{{ hong }}}
{{{ Dinkeldog }}}
{{{ Ashwyn }}}
{{{{{ EricNoah }}}}}
{{{ Enkhidu }}}
{{{ Dextra }}}
{{{ HellHound }}}
{{{ ColonelHardisson }}}
{{{ MEG Hal }}}
{{{ Zhure }}}
{{{ Raistlin Majere }}}
{{{ brun }}}
{{{ Nail }}}
{{{ jaerdaph }}}
{{{ incognito }}}
{{{ Ashy }}}
{{{ Tallarn }}}
{{{ KB9JMQ }}}
{{{ Skade }}}
{{{ Kamikaze Midget }}}
{{{ Sniktch }}}
{{{ Timothy }}}
{{{ Left-handed Hummingbird }}}
{{{ carpedavid }}}
{{{ Arken }}}
{{{ Henry }}}
{{{ Sagan Darkside }}}
{{{ Breakdaddy }}}
{{{ Magic Rub }}}
{{{ Friadoc }}}
{{{ wolff96 }}}
{{{ Arken }}}
{{{ AaronLoeb }}}
{{{ Piratecat }}}
{{{ coyote6 }}}
{{{ Starman }}}
{{{ Azure Trance }}}
{{{ Femerus the Gnecro }}}
{{{ BigFreekinGoblinoid }}}
{{{ orbitalfreak }}}
{{{ haiiro }}}
{{{ Remathilis }}}
{{{ Kilmore }}}
{{{ MerricB }}}
{{{ Knightfall1972 }}}
{{{ Impeesa }}}
{{{ jonesy }}}
{{{ Jolly Giant }}}
{{{ FireLance }}}
{{{ jdavis }}}
{{{ Wayside }}}
{{{ Shapermc }}}
{{{ seasong }}}
{{{ Zappo }}}
{{{ Deedlit }}}
{{{ Redleg06 }}}
{{{ baradtgnome }}}
{{{ Silver Moon }}}
{{{ psijack }}}
{{{ Gez }}}
{{{ Vecna }}}
{{{ Deadguy }}}
{{{ Bugaboo }}}
{{{ Sciurus Rex }}}
{{{ Zaukrie }}}
{{{ Tom Cashel }}}
{{{ Ciaran }}}
{{{ Ray Silver }}}
{{{ Speaker }}}
{{{ Whodat }}}
{{{ Larry Fitz }}}
{{{ Jemal }}}
{{{ ninthcouncil }}}
{{{ cofbaron }}}
{{{ D-rock }}}
{{{ mistergone }}}
{{{ Eridanis }}}
{{{ Guilt Puppy }}}
{{{ Burne }}}
{{{ Kriskrafts }}}
{{{ dreadnought }}}
{{{ 8XXX{0}====> }}}
{{{ megamania }}}
{{{ Michael_Morris }}}
{{{ ichabod }}}
{{{ Bendris Noulg }}}


Feeling happy and clever about having proven my good nature, my uniqueness, and my anal-retentiveness, I go back to check out my thread on the Epic Prismatic stuff and see if it's gotten any hits yet.  It doesn't occur to me that having posted all of this on the eighth page of a thread that's mostly died out means hardly anyone will notice it.  Much later, when I finally realize this, I'll chalk it up to sleep deprivation.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 12, 2003)

that was a scary list, it makes me feel the need to post another Mad smiley and then a roll eyes smiley just for the heck of it 

Being that I haven't fully outlined my argument against the argument presented in nearly a whole page I decide that now would be a good time to review all points I have made or agreed with in this thread, restating every post nearly word for word but this time with more feeling and subtle changes designed to make my arguement flawless. It fails miserably. 

For the third time in a 24 hour period I depart this thread forever, in a huff vowing to never post to it again, knowing full well that I will check first thing tomorrow to see if anybody has replied to this post. I also vow to block everyone who's oppinion I don't agree with (which I don't for fear they will be talking about me and I will have no way to know about it).


----------



## Clay_More (Mar 12, 2003)

You had too many {{ and }} 's around Eric Noahs name



> {{{{{ EricNoah }}}}}




compared to the others in your list. Therefore, I cannot take your list serious Dark Eternal. 
I must also repply that my Alt. Ranger has been playtested by Gary Gygax & Sylvester Stallone and its therefore the new official Alt. Ranger. I propose that you post your own Alt. Ranger. Comments that my use of permanent haste at 3 rd. level is a master-stroke, inspired by my visit in the Vatican.

Posts angry smiley


----------



## Clay_More (Mar 12, 2003)

Asks that Megamania stops posting more than one repply at once. It is enjoying the other people at Enworld, which I think I have a holy right to protect. 

post another mad smiley


----------



## Silver Moon (Mar 12, 2003)

Tallarn said:
			
		

> *Tries to make tough talk about calling out Kriskrafts and making him defend himself in order to prolong this now incredibly stupid long and pointless thread, instead ends up looking more like a graceless buffoon who can't take a joke.*



Comes to Kriskrafts defense by accusing Tallarn of trying to make unnecessary trouble.   Says that all readers of this troll can learn from Kriskrafts example, by taking the high road, and not responding to intimidation.   Hopes that nobody realizes that Kriskrafts is also Silver Moon, who was using his wife's EN World account until Piratecat fixed the login problem.   

Makes a comment related to Baradtgnome's new tangent about I Dream of Jeannie, stating how Barbara Eden has aged far better than either of the Gilligan's Island babes.  

Finishes with a comment about the original post, this time agreeing with Baraendur.


----------



## Remathilis (Mar 13, 2003)

Is happy to see his name on the list of posters. Uses smilely.  
Begins to feel the sense of community on Enworld's board!  
Is upset because he is currently gnomed as of this posting.  

Agrees with everyones post. 

Goes and makes a sandwich.


----------



## Dark Eternal (Mar 13, 2003)

Posts only long enough to comment on how I (and, of course, Jon Anderson) love all of you, even if you can't resolve this particular dispute.

In a pang of guilt over original malicious intention, rectify mistake of omitting Jack Daniel and Clay_More from first post.

{{{ Jack Daniel }}}
{{{ Clay_More }}}

Makes self-immolitary comment about existing in constant state of sleep deprivation.  Throws out off-handed insulting comment inadvertantly, by commenting on how Clay_More's latest post was obviously ooc, whereas all my posts are consistantly ic.  Types smiley to show that was simply a good-natured jest. 

Smiles at Remthalis.  

Moments before signing off, decides to throw in a last-second suggestive comment about I Dream of Jeannie.  Will realize later that this was a mistake.


----------



## baradtgnome (Mar 14, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *  I laugh at your super models, I have Super Duper Models who play at my game, and they say I'm the bomb. Hah I say and Hah again. And they don't stoop to wearing cheesewiz, they only wear 100% real cheese, top that! And Barbara Eden said your game was lame and........and........and...........lame and.......stupid, yea she said it was stupid. *




Points out that Barbara always said that about my game, but I think she was mostly jealous of the super models.

Points out that super duper models are all plastic surgery anway.

Explains that Barbara could only wear cheese wiz because she is lactose intolerant.

Lectures that jdavis should be more sensitive to those who are lactose intolerant.

Secretly wishes that jdavis would post pictures of his super duper plastic surgery models.

Dark Eternal, huggles are for wimps (secretly feeling warm and fuzzy over them)


----------



## Dark Eternal (Mar 14, 2003)

Secretly amazed that his last post didn't strangle the last gasp of life from this thread, decides to post one more reply to baradtgnome.

Explains that I have no problem whatsoever with being considered a wimp, as long as it makes others happy.

To really pound point into the ground, retaliates with a mega huggle.

*{{{ baradtgnome }}}*

And Jon Anderson loves you.

Content with this, log off and go listen to more Yes music.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 14, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Secretly wishes that jdavis would post pictures of his super duper plastic surgery models.
> 
> *




Desperately wishes that I had fake pictures of hot women gaming I could post to prove how cool I am. Decide to post this pic and say I lost the photo of the Super Duper Models, hope that anyone will buy lame story and believe I am cool. Realize that I am drifting off topic so I attack everyone elses post as being off topic.

Super Duper Models Gaming:


----------



## Darrin Drader (Mar 15, 2003)

Mention that having a hot swimsuit model at the gaming table might be a bit distracting - especially if she happens to be wearing a swimsuit.

Restates key points of the original troll, but then contradicts one of these key points by citing a source that states the exact opposite of the point I was originally trying to make, but takes it out of context so that it makes sense.

States that JDavis must be cool because of his absolute lack of evidence of swimsuit models at the gaming table.

In a too witty manner, suggests that Dark Eternal is a wimp.

Absolutely rejects the notion that Barbara Eden would be interested in baradtgnome's game.

Makes an insensitive comment about those who are lactose intolerant, but adds smileys     

Ends with a remark about how there will be more Oathbound soon... very cool Oathbound stuff! Stuff so cool, I can't even talk about talking about it here.


----------



## jonesy (Mar 15, 2003)

> Makes an insensitive comment about those who are lactose intolerant, but adds smileys




Is horribly offended by the smileys and rants about smileys being
the worst thing ever created from the dreams of evil creatures.
Smileys should be banned and then shot in the back of the smiley
in a dark alley somewhere. Adds a few smileys.


----------



## shivamuffin (Mar 15, 2003)

I read these posts and wonder if I'm a troll, obviously seeking sympathy and or attention in the process.


----------



## jdavis (Mar 15, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Restates key points of the original troll, but then contradicts one of these key points by citing a source that states the exact opposite of the point I was originally trying to make, but takes it out of context so that it makes sense.
> 
> ...




Point out that your new source is misquoted and misinterpreted, then see that somebody did buy bogus, Super Models = I'm so cool story, and state that maybe your interpretation was better. 

Realize that I have now AGREED WITH THE TROLL, decide that this is the lowest point in my existance, add smileys to cover my shame  

Decide to wait before attacking Troll with renewed vigor as changing sides twice in the same post would make me seem wishy-washy.


----------



## Silver Moon (Mar 16, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *Points out that Barbara always said that about my game, but I think she was mostly jealous of the super models.
> 
> Lectures that jdavis should be more sensitive to those who are lactose intolerant.
> 
> Secretly wishes that jdavis would post pictures of his super duper plastic surgery models.*




Silver Moon decides to make a post, even though he has nothing further to contribute, but wants to bump this back to the first page.   Quotes baradtgnome because he is a cool guy.  Rambles on about how Barbara Eden's career went downhill following Jeannie, sinking to an all time low of attending Barad's games.   Adds a smiley and tells Barad that Silver Moon is only kidding, and is welcome to bring Barbara along with him the next time he attends Silver Moon's game.   

Gets into a side tangent about lactose intolerance, and how it is caused by an inner fear of cows.  

Finishes with a link to a web page featuring super duper models, stating that one picture shows them playing D&D.  Sincerely doubts that any such picture exists, but didn't bother looking at the hundreds of pictures on the site, figuring somebody else will go the effort and post the result.


----------



## baradtgnome (Mar 16, 2003)

Tells Dark Eternal that he is a wimp while still denying the fact that the super sized huggles made me feel warm and fuzzy.  Replies to this post while listening to Heart of the Sunrise.

Points out to Baraendur that the super models were not disctracting because of wearing bathing suits, they were wearing cheeze wiz

Wonders if any others have noticed that jdavis girl friend looks like a dog?

Sadly since the release of 2E, Barbara has been depressed and despondent not gamed since.  Not even the lure of cheeze wiz has been able to get her out of the bottle.

Searches Silver Moon's links for hours for a faux picture of super models gaming without success.  Confidentally confirms the pictures existance and recommends all other posters look there as well.  Check out the blonde with the long sword.

Agrees with jdavis when he flip-flops over to Baraendur position.  Disagree with Baraendur when he agrees to jdavis' agreement.  Realizes the dicotomy of my position and blames it on Silver Moon and Monkeys.  Monkeys, remember them?  They were friends of Shakespeare.

Logs off confident that someone, somewhere thinks something in this post is cool.  Thanks Mom.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Mar 16, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *As an aside, wonders what Hivemind would be like in meta.*




Misinterprets intent of aside, argues furiously that Hivemind is now an entrenched part of GenDis, used to be in meta, was moved by The High Lord Morrus Himself, and threatens to bring the entire Hivemind to this thread to finally kill the troll once and for all.

Also falls for SilverMoon's fakery regarding different log in names, makes friends, offers donut and pride-of-place in next campaign.

Finishes on random note about how wonderful the insightful comments on ENWorld are, and makes derogatory comment other Internet messageboards, not realising that people from said boards occasionally post here too. Inexplicably mentions the Pantheon.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 1, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *Searches Silver Moon's links for hours for a faux picture of super models gaming without success.  Confidentally confirms the pictures existance and recommends all other posters look there as well.  Check out the blonde with the long sword.
> 
> Agrees with jdavis when he flip-flops over to Baraendur position.  Disagree with Baraendur when he agrees to jdavis' agreement.  Realizes the dicotomy of my position and blames it on Silver Moon and Monkeys.  Monkeys, remember them?  They were friends of Shakespeare.
> 
> Logs off confident that someone, somewhere thinks something in this post is cool.  Thanks Mom. *




Decides that April Fools Day is an appropriate date to resurrect this thread.   Quote baradthegnome, then comments about the blonde with the long sword and her microscopic bikini, in order to lure some poor geek into wasting hours looking for this particular picture.    Explains how the inclusion of monkeys into Baraendur's original position actually reverses the initial logic, thus making him TOTALLY WRONG.    Logs off hoping that the verbal backlash for bringing back this thread isn't too severe.


----------



## Clay_More (Apr 1, 2003)

this thread is broken beyond repair


----------



## Dark Eternal (Apr 1, 2003)

Shakes head in amazement.  Facepalms.  Can't resist lure to post to massive troll thread once more.

Posts single smiley. 

Laughs to self softly.  Heads back to Hivemind, where it's safe.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 1, 2003)

Silver Moon said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Decides that April Fools Day is an appropriate date to resurrect this thread. *




Gasp in shock and horror as I realize that Silver Moon has stolen my thunder. Shake head sadly and return to my cave, never to be heard from again.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 1, 2003)

somehow I figured that this would show up today. 

Launch smiley counter attack and then fade away. Maybe gorilla tactics will finally finish of the Troll.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 1, 2003)

Having been alerted by subscribe function, quickly scans above messages to see if anyone took his badly crafted bait, sighs, wonders about offering fellow posters a chance to sling mud at each other on Nutkinland, decides against it, leaves.

Returns, posts single smiley that he feels is underused  , departs again.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 2, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *
> Shake head sadly and return to my cave, never to be heard from again. *




Yeah, as if...  April fools!

Breaks out an all new assault of irritating, but not blatantly trolling comments that are tangentially connected to the original topic. Justifies it by saying that no one else is staying on topic, and these new comments are at least somewhat related.

Point to the date, the position of the planets, the alignment of the stars and the onset of heartburn (after eating a pepperoni and jalapeno pizza) as a sure signal that the end of the world is rapidly approaching, and all because we cannot come to a consensus on this issue.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 2, 2003)

Points out that it's my birthday today, and thus I should be immune to all criticism, disagreement and flaming.

Flames everyone indiscriminately.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 2, 2003)

It is now April second here so I decide to unleash my fury and wrath on the subject that should of ended long ago, obviously I was right but some beople can't leave good enough alone, flame everybody, use personal slander and attacks even though I have no personal knowlege to slander anybody else with (I'll just make stuff up). Rant for a while on how I get no respect and then rant on how everybody is driving this off topic in order to disrespect me, take everything ever said in the thread as a personal insult, including all the stuff not directed at me and even some of my own remarks to other people. Add smiley so nobody can take anything I said personally or get mad about it


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 2, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> * Add smiley so nobody can take anything I said personally or get mad about it(...) *




Draw attention to the fact that with the smiley deleted, there is much here to get mad about! And I'm mad! Oh yes, I AM MAD!  

Substantiate several of the slanderous made up items and then use those to poison the well against people who have made points contrary to my original point. Now, with much of Jdavis's pillars of support eroded, drive home my original point and declare victory (or at least demand that those who disagree apologize).

Make a last cryptic remark that sows the seeds that could undermine my victoy if properly exploited.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 2, 2003)

Makes post for no real reason other than to get my post count up to 500.    Points out that both Jdavis and Baraendur should stop with the personal attacks, otherwise Eric's Grandmother will show up and slap their wrists with a ruler.   Tosses in references again to Gilligan's Island, Shakespeare and Monkeys.   Decides that enough damage has been done.  Attaches picture relating to current Story Hour that has no relation to anything posted here thus far.  Departs feeling self satisfied


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 13, 2003)

Never mind me, just adding to my post count.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 13, 2003)

The tread that never dies has once again reared it's ugly head. "From Hells Heart I stab at thee!" or something like that.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 13, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *The tread that never dies has once again reared it's ugly head. "From Hells Heart I stab at thee!" or something like that.    *




Points out the Jdavis misspelled "thread."

Notes that according to the script, it goes:

KHAN

		No... You can't get away... From

		hell's heart I stab at thee...

			(amid the pain)

		For hate's sake... I spit my last

		breath at thee!

	Khan topples forward, dead.  The WHINE continues to build chillingly.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 13, 2003)

"The WHINE continues to build chillingly" 

I'll have to agree with that part.

And how do you know I didn't mean tread instead of thread? 
(note to self: must spellcheck better when dealing with troll).


----------



## Clay_More (Apr 13, 2003)

Fat Dane Wielding a Stick, Using It To Power-Attack A Thread

"DIE THREAD..... DIEEEE........"


----------



## Arken (Apr 13, 2003)

Suggests that people are only trying to kill the thread because they are unwilling to confront a very serious world issue. Go on to say that their wish to destroy discussion on such an issue is naive and morally suspect.

Posts a sad smilie hoping to sustain the troll a little longer...


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 13, 2003)

Responds to Arken by informing him that this issue has been done to death, that I'm fed up of seeing it come back every two weeks, and that this thread is indicative of the lack of imagination of most ENWorld posters these days. Goes into Four Yorkshiremen Mode, claims that when he started posting the discussion were about philosophy, the human condition, existensialism, and kobolds, and that "in my day, you had to have a postcount of at least 1000 just to get noticed, young man".

Furthermore, Baraendur is still DEAD WRONG, Monkeys have been upgraded to Gorrillaz, this thread is resistant to all known forms of attack, and points out that he warned Baraendur about reviving this thread in meta the other day.

Sighs in a world weary fashion, drops Outwar link again (The True Meaning of Monkeys), and disappears in a puff of logic.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 13, 2003)

Arken said:
			
		

> *Suggests that people are only trying to kill the thread because they are unwilling to confront a very serious world issue. Go on to say that their wish to destroy discussion on such an issue is naive and morally suspect.*



Originally decides to quote Tallarn here, but concludes that he puts so much into his post that somebody else probably will instead.    Quotes Arken, and comments that he is quite right, that there are many facets to the original argument that have not been explored.   Cites the analogy of sand flowing through a sandtimer.  

Gives a short history of the Gasden Flag, with the coiled rattlesnake and the defiant "Don't Tread on Me" motto in support of word tread, which was clearly what jdavis intended.

Suggests that Baraendur has now revealed his one true weakness, falling for a double-dog dare to bring back this thread.   Points out that this can be used as a strategy to dispute his original argument.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 13, 2003)

Conclude that there is only one way thread will die and that is to fill it up to the point that moderators will close it based on size alone. Thus I"ll summerize all the points that have been made up until this point  (on topic or not) and respond to every one of them individually, then Ill go into a long winded speach about the dangers of presumptions and assumptions. I'll pat myself on the back for having such a intellectual and point driven thread. I'll end by completly blowing the effect by rambling on off topic about the death "hair metal" in America and quote obscure rock songs as the reasoning behind my opinions on the meaning of this thread and thus the meaning of life and from there take it to the meaning of VH1's show "I Love the '80's" which obviously has everything to do with this thread.


----------



## baradtgnome (Apr 13, 2003)

*Re: This is a Re-tread [meta-thread]*



			
				Baraendur said:
			
		

> *I am making an inflamatory remark about Monkeys, the type of Cheeze Wiz you wear, or whether Gilligans Island or I Dream of Jeannie had hotter female stars. I am stating it in such a way that it appears to be a real thread written by Shakesspeare about supermodels and RPG gaming.
> 
> Now let the flaming commence.
> 
> (Edited to correct the spelling mistake.) *




Having thought long and hard I finally agree with Baraendur's original position.  Pretend it was my idea from an earlier thread on the original EN boards.

Thanks Jdavis for reminding me of it.  Thanks Silvermoon for GI pics.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 13, 2003)

Point out that baradtgnome has misquoted me. Bring the actual contents of the original post back to the discussion, and then place a link back to the original post to prove that I was misquoted.

Makes some inflamatory statements about David Caruso just for the sheer fun of it.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 13, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *....go into a long winded speach about the dangers of presumptions and assumptions....from there take it to the meaning of VH1's show "I Love the '80's" which obviously has everything to do with this thread. *




Points out that the main presumption and assumption is that Baraendur has not yet accepted the fact that he is TOTALLY WRONG.   Points out to jdavis that the "I Love the '80's" makes a reference to D&D in one of the episodes, so is therefore actually on-topic.   States again how the original concept of Gilligan's Island was to show how people with nothing in common can learn to get along.  Provides quote to support this from Barry Williams, from his book Growing Up Brady when he speaks of the career of Sherwood Schwartz.   Reminds everyone that "I Dream of Jeannie" has no such philosophical basis, being only a sorry excuse to show a babe in a bikini every week.    Finishes by reminding everyone that Baraendur is TOTALLY WRONG, but this time add a smiley after it.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 14, 2003)

I thought Gilligan's Island was a cautionary tale about the dangers of not checking references when chartering a boat.

I Dream of Jeannie was a behind the scenes look at the how Nasa operated in the "60's.

Agree that Baraendur is TOTALLY WRONG on so many levels. 

Point out that the A-Team was the only show that actually mattered....ever.


----------



## Tom Cashel (Apr 14, 2003)

Adds totally off-topic (and destined to be ignored) post that "mistakenly" equates 3E Rangers to NY Rangers, with hilarious results.

Attaches picture to drive home unfunny trademark habit:


----------



## jdavis (Apr 14, 2003)

Well at least it wasn't a Walker Texas "Ranger" pun.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 14, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *I thought Gilligan's Island was a cautionary tale about the dangers of not checking references when chartering a boat.
> 
> I Dream of Jeannie was a behind the scenes look at the how Nasa operated in the "60's.
> 
> Agree that Baraendur is TOTALLY WRONG on so many levels*



Thanks jdavis for his agreement regarding Baraendur being TOTALLY WRONG.   States that a reference check was conducted on the crew of the S.S. Minnow which revealed that "The mate was a mighty sailin' man, The Skipper brave and sure."  States that if Major Nelson was truly dedicated to the mission of NASA he would have had Jeannie just send all the astronauts to the moon and save the U.S. government tens of millions of dollars.   Gives a short history of rubber automotive tires, stating that jdavis's prior referece to 'tread' was clearly an analogy of how Bareandur's original points have failed to get road traction.    Adds to the ranger topic by making a reference to Mr. Ranger from the Yogi Bear show.


----------



## baradtgnome (Apr 15, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *Point out that baradtgnome has misquoted me. Bring the actual contents of the original post back to the discussion, and then place a link back to the original post to prove that I was misquoted.
> *




Points out that Baraendur edited his original post and now has no way to prove what it originally said.   

Points out that I hate smileys  

Points out that too many posters are pointing out.   

Points out that I Dream of Jeannie was actually based loosely on Hemingways "Old Man and the Sea" and that the NASA program was a loose reference to phallic symbols, and that what the hell is wrong with wanting to see a women in a cheez wiz bikini?

Points out that Barbara would only wear Cheez Wiz or marzipan bikini's on set and that is why it took over 4 hrs to get in costume.

Come on, don't tell me you are not thinking about Jeannie in a marzipan bikini.  Points out that this is not off topic, because there is a dragon magazine article that gives the AC of a marzipan bikini.  Go ahead, look it up!  (AC 0 - 1st ed if you are lazy)

Points out that I am going to go take my Thorazine now.

Thanks Tom Cashel for the stats on the Alt -NY Ranger.  I may use them in my campaign

Points out that Sherwood Schwartz was right on so many levels.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 15, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Points out that Baraendur edited his original post and now has no way to prove what it originally said.
> 
> ...




Not to be out-trolled, point out a post by another poster quoting my original post, so there's my proof!  

Note that I too hate smileys.


----------



## Echohawk (Apr 15, 2003)

Can't resist pointing out that despite Baraendur's edit, there are still two spelling mistakes in the original post.

Feels disgusted with himself for being finally suckered into adding to this thread, after successfully avoiding it for so many weeks.

Wonders if Baraendur didn't slyly edit *in* the two spelling mistake just to prompt someone to post, thus keeping this wretched thread alive. Gets all paranoid.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 15, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *
> Points out that Sherwood Schwartz was right on so many levels. *




I'd like to point out that I am also right on so many levels


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 15, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *Points out that I Dream of Jeannie was actually based loosely on Hemingways "Old Man and the Sea" and that the NASA program was a loose reference to phallic symbols, and that what the hell is wrong with wanting to see a women in a cheez wiz bikini?*




Requests reference to support the claim of the Hemingway basis for Jeannie.   Points out that, while based upon a solid philosophical base, Gilligan's Island did not shy away from featuring bikinis.   Requests to know what the chemical composition of Cheez Wiz is, and if there is any organic matter contained within it.   Agrees that jdavis is correct on many levels, including the original tread discussion.   Supports this with the quote from a Metallica song: _love it or live it, she with the deadly bite, quick is the blue tongue, forked as lighting strike
shining with brightness, always on surveillance
the eyes, they never close, emblem of vigilance, don't tread on me_.   Continues the Ranger discussion by talking about the merits of the Ford Ranger.


----------



## Tom Cashel (Apr 15, 2003)

Silver Moon said:
			
		

> *
> Continues the Ranger discussion by talking about the merits of the Ford Ranger. *




Shouts seventeen lines of invective condemning the Ford Ranger, denying that it is in any way shape or form as good as the NY Rangers or Walker, Texas Ranger.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 15, 2003)

Have to make fun of Mary Ann's invisible high heel shoes.

When I was little I had a subscription to Ranger Rick magazine but I thought it was too top loaded and unbalanced.


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 15, 2003)

Being too much of a sniveling dork and over opiniated doofis to simply ignore the topic, a picture is added to end the topic and display my superiority over all of the other posters.


Heh, heh... the original....It's gone, so as to not offend the weak of stomach...


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 15, 2003)




----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 15, 2003)

The iconic troll is not amused.


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 15, 2003)

Should I remove it? 

It is in POOR TASTE


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 15, 2003)

[meta/off]In my opinion, a lack of underwear = not safe for work. Although it is humorous, I would remove it. If not because of the moderators or any threat of moderation, it would be best for everyone's sanity.[Meta\on]


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 15, 2003)

Heh, heh... the original....It's gone, so as to not offend the weak of stomach...


I replaced it with something less....foul, although insulting...In the spirit of the topic...

Now, let's continue, shall we?


----------



## mystraschosen (Apr 15, 2003)

Makes several snide arrogant remarks about shivamuffin's lack of maturity.Sides with Tallarn on everything (although I haven't read any of this page).Proceeds to expand on why I am one of the most superior debaters of this subject.Drones on for another three paragraphs about why I am right without saying anything meaningful,and citing three vague points of reference in  a rule book nobody has heard of.

Harrummphs and ends reply feeling very smart and full of myself.


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 15, 2003)

Responding to the inmaturity accusation, shivamuffin attacks the poster with rude and personal insults, even though he does not know the poster at all.
He then threatens to post more pictures and close down the thread, thus proving that he is not inmature.


----------



## mystraschosen (Apr 15, 2003)

Mystrachosen screams obscenities and makes rude gestures and turns red thus proving he is the epitome of maturity and civil debate.And claims that shivamuffin very well must know who such a monumental figure as he ..is.Thus proving he is only in reality a very little person in the scheme of things.Mystraschosen then sniffles and yells that he is going to look for truly nicer people who don't force him to realize his unimportance.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 15, 2003)

I miss all the fun.


----------



## mystraschosen (Apr 15, 2003)

Deigns to return although he just swore not to,just to deliver a scathing retort to Jdavis for thinking this thread is fun.Then goes on to berate him for wishing to become involved with the uncouth brutes who have taken up residence in a hate filled thread.Ends by saying in superior manner how you should be more like the chosen and conduct yourself with class.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 15, 2003)

Tom Cashel said:
			
		

> *Shouts seventeen lines of invective condemning the Ford Ranger, denying that it is in any way shape or form as good as the NY Rangers or Walker, Texas Ranger. *




Decides to try to get this thread back on topic.   Spends several minutes trying to remember what the topic was.   Quotes Tom Cashel, spinning the tangent into the merits of all Ford pick-ups, giving the history from the Model-T pick-up to the 2003 F-350.

After reviewing the recent debate, and silently cursing my wife for not letting me on the computer the previous hour, tells Baraendur that he would have made a good moderator.  

Continues bashing the I Dream of Jeannie show, but points out it is unusual to compare it to the far superior Gilligan's Island, as Bewitched is the usual show it is compared to.   

States that Shakespeare originally planned to put on a production of the play Henry V using monkeys.

States that the Cheeze Wiz side discussion is now over, as nobody made any responses to the prior comments.

Seriously questions jdavis's critique of the Mary Ann picture, since his focus appears to have been on her feet! 

Logs off without making any references this time to the word 'tread'.


Mistakenly posts GI picture previously used.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 15, 2003)

mystraschosen said:
			
		

> *Deigns to return although he just swore not to,just to deliver a scathing retort to Jdavis for thinking this thread is fun.Then goes on to berate him for wishing to become involved with the uncouth brutes who have taken up residence in a hate filled thread.Ends by saying in superior manner how you should be more like the chosen and conduct yourself with class. *




Hey, look at my post count! (throws sucker punch when attention is deverted). See postcount means nothing, that should explain everything about.........well about something. Oh yea my post count is now one higher for this post, you got to look at the big picture here...I just forgot what that is, lets see here........Cheese Wiz............Rangers...........monkeys.................Mary Anne's feet.............NASA.................Oh yea I got it " Baraendur is wrong"! Yea that's the big picture here, Now get back on topic or I'll point to my post count again.


----------



## Darkness (Apr 15, 2003)

/me asks shivamuffin to e-mail me a link to the picture that got my inbox flooded with 20+ 'reported post' mails, so I can judge whether the public outcry - and waste of my time in reading and deleting all these mails - was justified.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 15, 2003)

Darkness said:
			
		

> */me asks shivamuffin to e-mail me a link to the picture that got my inbox flooded with 20+ 'reported post' mails, so I can judge whether the public outcry - and waste of my time in reading and deleting all these mails - was justified. *




Man I really did miss all the fun


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 16, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *" Baraendur is wrong"*




Remind everyone that jdavis likes to believe that he is right when he has, in fact, more than occasionally lost touch with the truth, gone off topic, and made grandios claims that he can only back up with pictures of dogs playing poker. 

Points out that tallarn has become jaded and cruel, and what is all that weird stuff attached to his face anyway?


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 16, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *Remind everyone that jdavis...lost touch with the truth, gone off topic, and made grandios claims..... points out that tallarn has become jaded and cruel, and what is all that weird stuff attached to his face anyway? *



Rebukes Baraendur for making personal attacks against both jdavis and tallarn.    Ignores hypocricy of the above statement, given past comments made by self.   Is surprised that Baraendur did not comment on my earlier suggestion of him being moderator material.    Attempts to revive topic related to Ford pick-up trucks.   Provides link to the band TREAD, a group that I have never actually heard, but cite simply because of the name and past tread references.    Makes no actual reference to Gilligan's Island, but attaches the most annoying related picture that I could find.   Edits typo.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 16, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Remind everyone that jdavis likes to believe that he is right when he has, in fact, more than occasionally lost touch with the truth, gone off topic, and made grandios claims that he can only back up with pictures of dogs playing poker.
> 
> *




So what's your point?

Just to prove I am soo very right in all things I'll post a picture.

My version of the 3.5 Ranger: (the ultimate Ranger)


----------



## baradtgnome (Apr 16, 2003)

Silver Moon said:
			
		

> * Requests reference to support the claim of the Hemingway basis for Jeannie.   *




Well the outerspace is a metaphor for the ocean, Major Healy is a metaphor for for his bone spurs, Dr Bellows is a metaphor for the protective boat, and the struggle with the fish is a metaphor for the struggles that Sherwood Schwartz had with the censors over what Larry Hagman really wanted from Barbara Eden in that cheeze wiz bikini.


----------



## baradtgnome (Apr 16, 2003)

*plot twist*

By the way Silver Moon...

The beautiful Barbara Eden (nee Barbara Jean Moorehead) was born in Tuscon, Arizona on August 23rd.

... is that a plot twist?


----------



## haiiro (Apr 16, 2003)

Stops in briefly to mention the mystic theurge. Doesn't bother to read any of the posts that have been made since the last time he looked at this thread, as he's fairly certain they suck.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 16, 2003)

haiiro said:
			
		

> *Stops in briefly to mention the mystic theurge. Doesn't bother to read any of the posts that have been made since the last time he looked at this thread, as he's fairly certain they suck. *




Point out that while complately off topic, the mystic theurge is clearly the most ballanced and playable prestige class ever published. This is something everyone must agree on. No exceptions!


----------



## jonesy (Apr 16, 2003)

Ranger Texas Walker, Texas Ranger, Christopher Walken, Texas Ranger, Jimmie Walker, Texas Ranger, Heather Locklear, Texas Rangers Texas, Dirty Talker, Funky Walker, Texas Ranger, and the Old Lady with a  Walker, Texas Ranger.


----------



## Darrin Drader (Apr 16, 2003)

Inserts obnoxiously vile picture for everyone's amusement.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 16, 2003)

*Re: plot twist*



			
				baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *By the way Silver Moon...The beautiful Barbara Eden (nee Barbara Jean Moorehead) was born in Tuscon, Arizona on August 23rd.... is that a plot twist? *



Silver Moon debates whether to respond to barad's inside joke.  Decides to, even though it will create even more confusion to other readers of this thread.  If so, may provide an explanation in next post.  "You've got to be kidding me!  Moorehead!  And Tuscon!  What an amazing series of coincidences.  Oh well, Lady Moorehead's first name was never given, so I guess we now know what it is."

Goes back to original topic, pointing out that Baraendur's taking the bait about the Mystic Theurge is an example of his knowing how weak his original position is, and is therefore willing to try to change the subject.    Make's a reference to an international organization dedicated to the translation of old latin texts into modern languages only because the group's acronym is TREAD.  Makes further comments about the Ford Ranger, and how it is a great value for a small truck, citing its Armor Class, Fighting Ability, and Feats normally associated with it.   Comments that The Professor was the most intelligent individual ever portrayed on television, and the most intelligent character ever to exist, with the possible exception of jdavis.  Concludes by telling Barad that the celeb with the August 23rd birthday who should truly be honored is the late great Gene Kelly, one of the best dancers ever.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 16, 2003)

Darkness said:
			
		

> */me asks shivamuffin to e-mail me a link to the picture that got my inbox flooded with 20+ 'reported post' mails, so I can judge whether the public outcry - and waste of my time in reading and deleting all these mails - was justified. *




Apologises to Darkness, but states that as a 'prominent member of the community I felt it was necessary to make sure that he was aware of such a picture'. Privately makes mental note to refer more threads to Darkness attention.

Ignores Baraendur's remarks about his face, and reminds everyone that he'd REALLY RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT THE ACCIDENT, thankyouverymuch, but that he hopes to be able to speak within six months.

Thanks mystraschosen for his support, then misquotes him.

Fails Will save, makes remark about the Mystic Theurge that no one agrees with, wonders why his DM won't let him play one, sidetracks into long-winded story about his present campaign, tells everyone that his Cleric is undoubtedly the  best character EVAR! and finally makes obscure British TV reference, quoting an actor none of you have heard of.


----------



## jdavis (Apr 16, 2003)

.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 16, 2003)

Wonders at relevancy of picture.

Reminds all to read his thread about GenCon Europe this weekend, reminds everyone that Baraendur is still DEAD WRONG, talks about gerbils in an obscure tangent that only he could understand, yaps excitedly because Shiny Happy People just came on his CD player, leaves.


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 16, 2003)

Having read all the posts since his vile picture was posted and then removed, it is decided that all of the posts since then are wrong and or not sufficiently providing the attention, that an attention seeking troll requires. So another picture is posted in an attempt to gain MORE attention, rather than actually provide any useful feedback on the topic. Threats are made and it is implied, by the picture, what the troll thinks of the thread and the other posters opinions. Followed by !!!!!!!!!!!!!! To show how angry the troll is.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 16, 2003)

Doesn't know how to react to shivamuffin, so instead refers to a post on page 2 of this thread, but doesn't link to it or quote it.

Uses said post to attempt to prove something that has already been talked to death. States that William Shakespear was clearly on LSD when he wrote Rosencrantz and Guildensterm Are Dead.


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 16, 2003)

Refers to a post on page 3 to counter the post on page to refered to by the previous poster. Complains about the lack of maturity in the gaming community and is offended by the critique of Shakespear. The  response is highly insulting and once again followed by !!!!!! Even though the troll has no clue what the previous poster is talking about. 

Another picture is posted to prove a point, although there is no need for the pic and no point to prove.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 16, 2003)

Points out that as a professional English actor I am eminently qualified to dislike Shakespear, and retreats whilst the going is good.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 16, 2003)

Tallarn said:
			
		

> *Wonders at relevancy of picture. *



SilverMoon explains that the picture is meant as an analogy.  The Coyote = Baraendur; Bomb = the original Troll topic; Roadrunner = the readers of this thread; and Target = a major department store chain.   

Concludes that if shivamuffin's original picture yesterday was anything like today's then I didn't miss anything worth seeing.

Explains that Shakespeare originally planned for the play Richard III to take place on an aircraft carrier, but later changed it, as that military vehicle had not been invented yet so it would have confused the audience.

Quotes from Barandur's third post, explaining how that post was unnecessary, as it didn't cover any new ground.

Explains that the comment to Baradthegnome was in reference to current module that Silver Moon is running (Story Hour titled "League of Assassins") where most of the prior game's action took place at the Moorehead Family Cemetery.   The Tuscon reference was related to the group's other campaign, set near there on a hybrid Boot Hill/AD&D world (Story hour titled "Promise City, Arizona").

Provides more stats on the Ford Ranger, including two new skills, optional rules regarding constitution adjustment, and monsters that can easily be defeated by it.

Points out that Major Nelson often lied to Dr. Bellows, a superior officer, and should have been court martialed. 

Rambles on a bit more, this time about monkeys, and then departs.


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 16, 2003)

Feeling taunted, a  picture is added in response, for the troll will not be humiliated in front of people who could care less. The troll whines and posts several unflattering remarks, followed by!!!!!!


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (Apr 16, 2003)

Contemplates referring the above post to the moderators, instead decides to refer shivamuffin to the ENworld FAQ, and asks him why he thinks he doesn't normally see pictures like that on ENworld?

Tries not to sound like he's aggresively bashing shivamuffin, probably fails.


----------



## shivamuffin (Apr 16, 2003)

Feeling agressive, but actually a cowardly troll, deletes the picture and cowers under pressure from his peers. Although vindictively spews hate and flames at the previous poster, although he is right. The spewing hatred is followed by !!!!!!


----------



## baradtgnome (Apr 16, 2003)

haiiro said:
			
		

> *Stops in briefly to mention the mystic theurge. Doesn't bother to read any of the posts that have been made since the last time he looked at this thread, as he's fairly certain they suck. *




Though I disagree with his faulty position, I must respect his tenacity in defending it and therefore (much to his surprise and chagrin) submit that Baraendur's posts do not suck.  Worthless perhaps, but suck they do not.

The mystic theurge got the shaft!

(there, I said it first)


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 16, 2003)

baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *The mystic theurge got the shaft!  (there, I said it first) *



Points out to baradtgnome that the Mystic Theurge Class has now been renamed the Bubba Class.   Provides link to the "How do you say Mystic Theurge?" thread for an explanation.

Notes that baradtgnome did not respond to Silver Moon's prior comments about the Cheeze Wiz topic being over as well as the negative comments regarding I Dream of Jeannie.    Silver Moon states that his silence signals defeat, and claims victory on these two topics.

Having already beaten the 'tread' topic to death, provides one more obscure reference to the word, this one involving a 1960's folk song that nobody has heard in over thirty years.

Reminds everyone that the Ford Ranger only gets enhanced tracking skills if they have a GPS device installed.

Quote's Baraendur's 6th post, and compares it to his previous five.  States that while some new ground was reached, that was months ago, so who cares?

Posts picture of kittens and makes some obscure reference that may or may not have something to do with Piratecat.

Tosses in a Star Trek reference for good measure.


----------



## baradtgnome (Apr 17, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Not to be out-trolled, point out a post by another poster quoting my original post, so there's my proof!
> 
> Note that I too hate smileys.             *




Not to be out-out-trolled, point out that the quote was probably made after the edit.

Ruefully admit that Baraendur and I have some common ground in our hatred of smileys.  Notice that are user names have some similarity.  Notice that I almost defended him in previous post.

Quickly change the topic.  Since you asked about Cheez Whiz
http://web.kraftfoods.com/main.aspx...03&cat_id2=105&cat_id3=24&referrer=KRAFTFOODS


----------



## jdavis (Apr 17, 2003)

Reply to a post that was previously replied to by replying to another post. Post a reply to a post that was a reply to a previous post and reply that the post was a reply to a post that was replying to another post that quoted a post that I replied to. Post how all these replied to post prove that Baraendur is still so very wrong.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 17, 2003)

In a moment of total confusion, Silver Moon responds to comments made by Henry, Bloodymage and Diaglo about the use of computers during gaming, forgetting that that message thread was over on the www.dragonsfoot.org discussion board rather than here.


----------



## Silver Moon (Apr 17, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *Poigniantly notes that there is no relationship between good drow and Barqs Rootbeer. Disagrees with Jdavis by agreeing with each individual point made, but noting that the argument fails as a whole. Makes crude suggestion about Jdavis's parentage...*



Quotes Baraendur from a randomly chosen page in this thread.   Points out that this was an earlier attempt by him to change the subject rather than admit the weakness of his original position.  Also offers the above personal attack on jdavis as evidence to show that Baraendur has a long history of refusing to listen to another point of view.   

Concludes that all of the above sounds really good and serious, even though in reality it is just a lame excuse to bump the thread.

States again that the Mystic Theurge Class is now called the Bubba Class. 

Finish by once more finding fault with I Dream of Jeannie, this time pointing out that Major Healey was far too dumb to have been a real astronaut (although he was clearly more intelligent than his cousin, Howard Borden from Chicago).


----------



## jonesy (Apr 26, 2003)

While going through old threads comes up with this and instantly
remembers his vivid hatred of trolls and launches into a heated
rant about how this thread should die and die a horrible death.
Too late realizes that the act of commenting on it will once again
bring it back to the front page. Oh well such is life.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (May 9, 2003)

*pokes thread*

So...do you think it's dead, guys?


----------



## Clay_More (May 9, 2003)

*Beats thread with metal spiked club*

DIE...phuf phuf... DIIIEEE......phuf phuf...... DIIIIIEEEAA SPAWN OF SATAN, INFIDEL OF THE FOURTEEN LAYERS OF HELL, EVIL SON OF DR. PHIL, DRAGONHEADED BEAST OF THE NORTH.....phuf phuf.... DIEEEEEEEEE

Posts smiley


----------



## jdavis (May 23, 2003)

To celebrate the return of the boards I'd let the troll have another round in the sun. That was a long couple of days.


----------



## Apocalyptic Kitty (May 23, 2003)

Maliciously reminds everyone that evil plans are still brewing. Points out that clones are kitties too, even if they are completely apocalyptic and *evil*.  Inquires why this thread has gone on for so long.

Wonders why communication in anything other than meta is impossible. Tries to post in something other than meta, unsuccessfully, then decides that this must be some sort of alternate reality where everyone argues but the only subjects worth discussing are ancient sit-coms. Decides that alternate reality must come to an end too.

Scratches behind own ears with back claws then sprints away.


----------



## Darrin Drader (May 23, 2003)

Points out that if Apoc Kitty doesn't know what's going on, he should read the other 10 pages of this thread. Notes that said kitty has gone AWOL from his own thread, and should return with due haste.

Notes that Jdavis is merely trying (once again, and unsuccessfully) to force his point of view on everyone else. That point of view is clearly wrong, and definitely undefined.

Throws insults around at everyone who has posted to this thread recently, especially Tallarn for poking at it without knowing what such drastic actions might mean to him.

Goes on a long diatribe about how the topic of this thread has wandered way too far from the original subject (for the hundredth time), and insists that if people have something to add to the conversation, they should keep it on topic.


----------



## jonesy (May 23, 2003)

> Goes on a long diatribe about how the topic of this thread has wandered way to far from the original subject (for the hundredth time), and insists that if people have something to add to the conversation, they should keep it on topic.




Is completely dumbstruck by a troll wanting people to stay on topic. Stares at the post for ten minutes, then makes a totally off topic comment that quotes what the troll said. Forgets what he was supposed to comment and just keeps staring. Like, wow man, those are some mighty tall waves out there, better get my surfboard out of the mothballs.


----------



## jdavis (May 23, 2003)

Adamantly denies any wrong doing, states madly that I'm being misrepresented, promptly misrepresents the original post as a treaty on toxic waste disposal. Frantically waves arms to make point, realizes that nobody can see frantic arm waving and puts arms down. Attacks my own point of view as slander and conjecture, calls for a mistrial, then realizes there is no judge here, it's just reruns on A&E in the background.   

Calls Apok Kitty a freaky little dufus, not for any reason but just for the heck of it, misrepresents his post as the unibomber manifesto, 3.5 edition. 

Tells jonesy to stay on topic or he will be misrepresented like nobody's buisness. Dances with glee at own wit, then stubs toe on chair.  

Tells the troll "it's on like a neckbone", I'm not sure what that means but it definatly ups my street credibility. 

ancient sit-coms rock the block 

Goes to bed satisfied at a job well done, even if I can't figure out just what the job was.


----------



## baradtgnome (May 24, 2003)

*Re: you are now enlightened*



			
				baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *Here is the ubiquitous "I haven't read all of this thread, sorry if what I post rehashes what is already said" post.
> 
> Then proceeds to wax eloquently over a topic completely unrelated, utterly without merit, positively tedious, and logically incorrect.
> 
> Waits in vain for the gratitude of enlightened masses... *




Berates poster for thoughtlessly wasting our time by interjecting recycled thoughts.  Don't you have any ideas of your own in that empty head of yours!  Stay on topic fool!  The masses are not enlightened by your drivel!

Where do they get these people?  Why doesn't someone screen these morons out?  It is probably jdavis fault.


----------



## jdavis (May 24, 2003)

*Re: Re: you are now enlightened*



			
				baradtgnome said:
			
		

> * It is probably jdavis fault. *




I've come to the conclusion that most things are jdavis fault. He seems to always need to get in the last word and always falls right into the trolls obviously well made word traps. What a tool.


----------



## Mathew_Freeman (May 24, 2003)

Baraendur said:
			
		

> *Throws insults around at everyone who has posted to this thread recently, especially Tallarn for poking at it without knowing what such drastic actions might mean to him.*




Threatens to start a thread in Meta about this thread, claiming hurt feelings and 'incomparable game related stress syndrome'. Whines. Makes poorly executed attempt to get other people on his side. Misspells Baraender's name several times.

Makes bad link to the Matrix Reloaded, comments on how good Trinity looks, flees.


----------



## Silver Moon (May 24, 2003)

*Re: Re: you are now enlightened*



			
				baradtgnome said:
			
		

> *Berates poster for thoughtlessly wasting our time by interjecting recycled thoughts.  Don't you have any ideas of your own in that empty head of yours!  Stay on topic fool!  The masses are not enlightened by your drivel!*




Agrees with baradtgnome, and reminds everyone of the original topic, mentioning once again that Baraendur is TOTALLY WRONG.  Pulls two quotes by jdavis from earlier pages to support that claim.     Changes subject back to Gilligan's Island, posting the following news article:

LOS ANGELES -- The man who wrote the theme song for "Gilligan's Island" -- and hundreds of other songs -- has died. 
George Wyle was 87.....Wyle wrote more than 400 songs, including the Christmas classic "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year."....Wyle once said America doesn't want great music themes, "just something it can remember." ....Wyle wrote "The Ballad of Gilligan's Island" in the 1960s with the show's creator and producer, Sherwood Schwartz. It became one of the most popular television theme songs."

Considers bringing up prior topic about the monkeys typing the complete works of Shakespeare, but realizes that that subject has already been beaten to death in another recent ENWorld thread.   

Provides link to recent newspaper article showing a photo of Earth taken from Mars by a NASA space craft, and state "Marvin the Martian was right.  It does block his view of Venus."

Displays complete hypocracy by criticizing Tallarn for bringing up the Matrix Reloaded, stating that references to modern movies have no relation to the topic at hand.


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## Darrin Drader (May 24, 2003)

Tallarn said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Threatens to start a thread in Meta about this thread, claiming hurt feelings and 'incomparable game related stress syndrome'. Whines....
> Makes bad link to the Matrix Reloaded, comments on how good Trinity looks, flees. *




Points out that incomparable game related stress syndrome is real and should not be invoked lightly. In fact, those who suffer from it, have suffered from it in the past, or will suffer it at some unspecified time in the future *should* take great offense to its very invocation under these circumstances.

In regards to mention of the Matrix Reloaded, posts the following image in response:


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## Silver Moon (May 24, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> *Tells the troll "it's on like a neckbone", I'm not sure what that means but it definatly ups my street credibility.*



Decides that the neckbone line sounds really cool and hip, so quote it, even though I also have no idea what it means.

Takes great delight in the cartoon that Baraendur has posted, as it now opens up this thread to an assortment of comments, jokes and images on the subject of cows.    Starts the new side topic by posting images scanned from a 1970's "Howard the Duck" comic book, of Howard fighting a vampire cow.   Makes a comment about how the army of vampires in the Buffy finale would have been scarier if it had included a few cows.

Posts a side-by-side comparison of the contents of Cheeze Wiz vs. Taco Bell's Nacho Cheese sauce.

Makes another comment about the weaknesses of "I Dream of Jeannie", specifically about the Major Howard Borden Healy character.

Adds a comment about the "Old Man of the Mountain", the State symbol of New Hampshire, having collapsed two weeks ago.  Blames Baraendur.


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## jdavis (May 24, 2003)

That was Bessie "The Hell Cow" I believe. 

Accuses Baraendur of ruining Matrix Reloaded for me because of his obvious unmarked spoiler. Thanks a pant load, now I won't be suprised by the cow scene.  

Mourn for the Gilligan's Island guy then point out he's off topic as tv shows and tv show theme songs are different topics altogether, dare anybody to prove me wrong.


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## jdavis (May 25, 2003)

http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/hellcw.htm


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## Mark (May 25, 2003)

w00t!


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## Demise (May 25, 2003)

Immediately posts a comment about something said on the first page without bothering to read any of the following 10 pages.

And if this has already been done, it makes it even more amusing. To me anyhow. Which is all that matters.


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## baradtgnome (May 25, 2003)

*regarding self pleasure*

posts insulting message to previous poster about lack of imagination.  don't worry though, everyone is laughing WITH you       NOT!

reminds him that in order to be SURE that it has already been done, he will have to read the other ten pages.  thus destroying his amusement and feelings of self importance.  I can feel his confidence ebbing even now!  his ego crushed like so many dry twigs.

Mwah, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Now back to your regular programming


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## Mathew_Freeman (May 25, 2003)

posts message that is entirely on topic, whatever the topic is after ten pages of rambling.

Confounds everyone by demonstrating knowledge of subject, arguing coherently, and utterly failing to flame anyone.

Leaves, confident his smug attitude will lead to him being flamed in return anyway.


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## Henry (May 25, 2003)

Notes in his moderatorly voice that the outrageous and flabbergastingly-long thread has reached titanic proportions, and must be closed to avoid a dwarf-star-like implosion.

Also notes that no objections would necessarily be had if another thread of its ilk were to spotaneously "bloom" sometime next week or so, but not right this minute.

Smiles evilly and pulls the big red lever...


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