# Is it fun being an adult?



## Bartmanhomer (Apr 29, 2005)

I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?


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## megamania (Apr 29, 2005)

near repossession of house
near repossession of car
wife that is unloyal
70 hour work weeks
bills up the butt


But I keep smiling.

Define Fun.

I have my hobbies that enjoy.
I have good friends.
I go out dancing with wife to placate her once a month.

I get by.

Being an adult and thus life, is what you make it.  I have an okay life but I still have fun whenever I can. 

In truth, I'm happier now than when I was a teen by far.






by the way-  I'm a pessimist  take what I say lightly


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## CarlZog (Apr 29, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




Pal, it's fun just being.


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## Hand of Evil (Apr 29, 2005)

Some times yes, some times no, it is has all to do with the time the question is asked.


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Apr 29, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




That's an odd question. Sure, it's fun being an adult, but I also had fun being a kid, being a teen, and being a college student. Make the most of whatever age you are. 

Sometimes I find myself wishing I was a kid again, other times that I was back in college (not hard to do since I work for one). Then i think of the fun things that I have now-my own house, a wife, a little extra money, good friends. Some of those things I only obtained as I've grown older (notice I didn't say grown up), and I lost some fun things I had when I was younger. It's all relative, but I'm happy to be an adult (with a kid inside breaking free fairly often).


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## megamania (Apr 29, 2005)

Even at 35 (ack nearly 36) I consider myself a kid.   A sick mentally unblanced kid but a kid.


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## MetalBard (Apr 29, 2005)

Eh, it's what you make of it...  just like any other age category


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Apr 29, 2005)

There's a big differen't between being an "adult" and being "grown up" - age-wise, I'm an adult, but I am by no means a "grown up" and never plan to be!


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## Rystil Arden (Apr 29, 2005)

Hmm...I sometimes wish I was back in high school.  Back in high school, I could succeed and be the best at just about everything, but in college not any more.  Then again, as an MIT undergrad, I'm not exactly an adult yet


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## Zander (Apr 29, 2005)

I've never been happier.

Sure, there are more responsibilities. But there are also much greater freedoms. 

When I was a kid I thought that when I grew up I'd be able to get myself all kinds of toys and games my parents wouldn't get me. My mother explained that when I was older, I wouldn't be interested in those things anymore. Mostly, she was wrong about that. I still like the same things today that I did when I was barely in my teens like D&D, miniatures and fantasy toys. I'm a responsible adult but in some ways I retain child-like qualities. The benefits of adulthood with the best of childhood.

Also, as you might expect, I'm taken much more seriously as an adult. Despite my liking for fantasy toys etc, I was always mentally very mature but kids generally aren't taken seriously. Nowadays, my exterior and interior match: I'm treated now as I should have been a long time ago.


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## diaglo (Apr 29, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




yes. the answer to your question is 42.


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## Desdichado (Apr 29, 2005)

Depends on what you mean by fun.  Depends on what you mean by adult.  

I enjoy it well enough.  You should try it sometime.


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## Arnwyn (Apr 29, 2005)

I certainly enjoy it.

Loads of disposable income, my career is cushy and doesn't work me like an animal, own my own house set up exactly the way I want it...

Working out pretty good for me so far.


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## Henry (Apr 29, 2005)

I'm going to answer the same as everyone else.

There are fun things, like being responsible for your own life, being totally independent and paying your own way.

There are un-fun things, like when you shell out over half your paycheck each month for bills. 

I also find that, with regard to Zander's observation, that my parents WERE right. The older I get, the more I find I DON'T buy things I thought I wanted. I might splurge once a quarter, but in general there are far less things I want, and more events I want.

I can afford all the D&D product I want, but don't have time to play it all.
I can drive my car wherever I want, but responsibilities dictate that I don't have much time as I used to to explore.

It's a trade-off -- all the time as a teen, but less time and more money as adult.


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## megamania (Apr 29, 2005)

Henry said:
			
		

> There are un-fun things, like when you shell out over half your paycheck each month for bills.





half?!?   What am I doing wrong?   oh yeah-  Credit Cards.....my bad.


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## Goblyn (Apr 29, 2005)

Zander said:
			
		

> Sure, there are more responsibilities. But there are also much greater freedoms.




This pretty much sums it up.


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## BiggusGeekus (Apr 29, 2005)

Happiness is not a physical condition, it is a state of mind.

I'm much happier now than I was even though I have more responsibilities, less free time, and trapped in a body that is sluggish with a permanant dull pain in my left shoulder that I will have for the rest of my life.  The challenges are greater, but my ability to deal with challenges has increased enormously.

But really, happiness is in your head.


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## WayneLigon (Apr 29, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




Not really. The few pleasures or extra rights you get are almost meaningless when weighed against the burden of supporting yourself, the uncertain future of almost any job, stress and more stress, expectations of others, and more. If you have children, pretty much expect to throw away all your own dreams and desires for the next 21 years or more and hope that they turn out well instead of proving to be a continuing burden and disappointment to you. By then, of course, you'll be too old to really enjoy anything unless you are genetically very lucky or had then very early in life. Compared to that, high school is a picnic. 

So many people remark that their college years are their best years and I've almost decided that they are right. College is, unless you are in a very unusual situation, _the one and only time in your entire life_ when you can set your own schedule and your own pace_._ Unless you have unusual requirements, such as having to take X classes or lose the money allowing you to go in the first place, you will never, ever again be able to do this thing.

Really, though, middle and late high school is the best time. Unless you live where they have year-round schooling, you have three months (when I was a kid, school ended dead at the last day of May and never started until past Labor Day) out of the year as time to yourself. I got what I wanted for birthday and Xmas. I had school, which freed you in mid-afternoon so that, hey, a 4pm movie wasn't an impossibility. I had a lot more friends because they hadn't all moved away or gotten caught up with other concerns; gaming was certainly better because we could do it all weekend long if we wanted. I could eat what I wanted and it didn't instantly turn to fat. I could stay up until 2am then bounce out of bed at 6am, ready to go. We took vacations to nice places. Relatives came and stayed for several days or more than a week. Didn't have to bother with a job, didn't have to dress up, didn't have to worry if the car was going to make it another couple of years and what would happen if it didn't, didn't have to pay bills, or a thousand other little things.


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## Shemeska (Apr 29, 2005)

Outside of the whole sex thing, no. I find it more hassel than not, what with having to be employed, having to pay bills, finding this wierd urge to argue politics with everyone not as smart as you (j/k)

But then again there is the whole sex thing so I guess it balances out


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## megamania (Apr 29, 2005)

I'm curious bartmanhomer-

how old are you and why do you ask?

If you are worried things will be harder in life than they are now don't.  They are as you see them.  

Like everything in life-  it's about moderation.

The reason I have rough edges in my life currently is I owe on Credit cards.  To deal with it has nearly cost me everything important to me.  But keep smiling.




keep smiling


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## Ranger REG (Apr 29, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?



No.


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## Crothian (Apr 29, 2005)

Hell Ya!!!  I get to stay up late, eat what ever I want, watch as many hours of TV as I want!!!  Of course the freedom has to be balanced by responsibility but the hard work makes the fun...even more fun.


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## der_kluge (Apr 29, 2005)

Yea, it's a balance. I've been fortunate to always have a good job, and have met a wife, who loves me very much, and we have a beautiful, smart healthy daughter who brings great joy to our life.

But, it's no picnic. There are responsibilities, and you have to take care of everything. You have to learn things like what a mortgage is, and what kinds of insurance you need to buy, and arguing with companies when they make a mistake on your bill. Everyone universally hates those things, I think.

And just when you're getting ahead, all the tires on your car need to be replaced, so you get to spend money on things you never, ever thought you'd spend money on. Formula for your baby, tires for your car, toilet plungers, and if you own your own home, decorating supplies, ad nauseum.

It seems overwhelming. I often take stock of where I am, and I feel like I've accomplished a lot in my relatively short adult life, but I've made mistakes along the way. You learn what works, and what doesn't.

And like henry said, I could easily afford hundreds of rule books, or computer equipment or video games nowadays, but I'd be neglecting other important things by doing so. So, I think responsibility means evaluating your needs and choosing wisely.


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## the Jester (Apr 29, 2005)

I'll go beyond saying yes; I'm gonna shout out *HELL YEAH!!!*

Sure, there's responsability; but taking that responsability, finding out about yourself, growing as a person, all that malalrky, it's all fun.  There are rough times and rough edges, but it's all fun.


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## Django (Apr 29, 2005)

*And we'll have fun, fun, fun ...*

Hell, yeah, it's fun!

I'm free to do as I wish, anytime I wish, and with whomever I wish ... and I am free to face any consequences that may arise. There are no rules set down upon me by my parents. There are no schools that require my presence. I can vote, I can drive, I can marry, I can do all kinds of fun things that were forbidden me as a child.

Occasionally I imagine what it would be like to be able to go back and be a kid again. I would hate it. I didn't have a bad childhood or anything, but having enjoyed the freedoms of being an adult, I could never give them up.

Of course, with great power comes great responsibility: I am employed, I pay my taxes, and I have chosen to follow the laws of the land. Good things all, in my opinion.


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## PapersAndPaychecks (Apr 29, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




Growing up's no fun, and growing old's even less fun.

But they're considerably better than the alternatives.


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## Zander (Apr 29, 2005)

WayneLigon said:
			
		

> So many people remark that their college years are their best years and I've almost decided that they are right.... Really, though, middle and late high school is the best time.



No doubt what you say is true for a lot of people but there are also many for whom it isn't. 

There are lots of teens who don't fit in (i.e. gamers ) and are given a rough ride at school.

University can be grim for other reasons. At my BA graduation ceremony the student president of my graduation class said: "I was told that my college years would be the happiest of my life. And every night, before I went to sleep, I prayed that wasn't true." A fair number of new graduates applauded him, myself included.


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## freebfrost (Apr 29, 2005)

Yes, its great!

Yes, there are more responsibilities and decisions and bills and work, but you know what, you make of that what you choose - no one forces you to buy a certain house, or work a certain job.  No one makes you stay somewhere - you are free to move wherever your muse takes you.  Even with a family.

So before you worry about all the doomsayers and their posts about mortgage payments and worrying about job security, there is so much more to it than that.  People sometimes seem so wrapped up in their "adult" lives, that they forget to stop and take stock in all the good things that their life gives them.

Is it a bad thing to understand P&I and escrow payments for your mortgage?  Or how much you can contribute to your 401K?  Or what paint to use on your bathroom walls?  No.  Because the process of learning and understanding that is part of the life experience.

And I notice no one is saying that it is a bad thing to have a loving family of your own, or owning your home or choosing where you want to live.  Or having disposable income to spend on splatbooks and minis.  Or video games.     

So while their are higher expectations of responsiblities and duties, there are also proportionally more rewards.


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## CarlZog (Apr 29, 2005)

diaglo said:
			
		

> yes. the answer to your question is 42.




Isn't it always?


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## diaglo (Apr 29, 2005)

CarlZog said:
			
		

> Isn't it always?





well not if you live a _Logan's Run_ life. then it is 31. iirc.


used to have a shirt back in my younger days that said something like i'm so happy here i could just.... splat.

and a hat that read talk to Da Judge.


short term memory is the first thing to go when you get old. but then again i don't remember.


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## RangerWickett (Apr 29, 2005)

I'm 23.  I just skipped work today at my grocery store job (which would've paid me $52 for 8 and a half hours of my life) so I could instead cook my own lunch and write D&D rules, for which I might make as much money, if I'm lucky.

I skipped work, though, more because my girlfriend broke up with me night before last, and I'm afraid I'd start crying at work.  I'm 23.  I dunno.  I think it's pretty fun.


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## mojo1701 (Apr 29, 2005)

It's like being Spiderman: _With Great Power comes Great Responsibility_.

At least, that's the way I see it. I'm legally an adult, though not old enough to buy alcohol (another 5 months, and I will), but I'm still in University, so it's great setting your own schedule, though I will be sharing a house next year, along with expenses...


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## CarlZog (Apr 29, 2005)

diaglo said:
			
		

> well not if you live a _Logan's Run_ life. then it is 31. iirc.




Yeah, but that's just as well. Who wants to live in a mall anyway?... OK, probably a lot of people.


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## EricNoah (Apr 29, 2005)

Being an adult is great.  Having money is awesome.  Making decisions about my own life is fantastic.  Having a rewarding job is, well, rewarding.  Getting old isn't as great, but it's not too bad so far.


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## Torm (Apr 29, 2005)

I don't know that I'd say it is more fun, but it's certainly worth it - no more crazy people making decision for me. At least, not on a personal level. 

_Well I've run through rainbows and castles of candy
I cried a river of tears from the pain
I try to dance with what life has to hand me
My partner's been pleasure...my partner's been pain

There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle
And dark desperate hours that nobody sees
My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain
My head in my hands...down on my knees

Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes love's blind...and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it's roses...and, sometimes it's weeds
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I've laid down with love and I woke up with lies
What's it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not what's in the mirror...but what's left inside_
     - J. Bon Jovi, B. Falcon


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## Angcuru (Apr 29, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




Although I am legally an adult, I won't consider myself to be one until I am self-sufficient and have moved out of my parents' house.  I prefer college over high school for many reasons, but I kind of miss knowing everybody.



			
				Zander said:
			
		

> I've never been happier.




I've never been happy.  :\


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## IronWolf (Apr 30, 2005)

I think being an adult is fun, but I've had fun at all stages.  Sure there are lots of responsibilities along the way, but there is still time for fun too.


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## Angel Tarragon (Apr 30, 2005)

Lets see......Booze, Beer, Wine, gaming and having a good time......yep, it's definetely fun!


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## deadestdai (Apr 30, 2005)

I have no hair on my head, too much on my body and a beer gut..... Adulthood certainly doesn't look as good.


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## reveal (Apr 30, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




Heck ya. I'm at the point in my life where I am making enough money that I can buy pretty much any toy I want. 

I couldn't do that when I was a kid.


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## Wormwood (Apr 30, 2005)

I was going to say that drinking makes adulthood fun*, but upon reflection I think the best part of being an adult is no longer being an adolescent. 

Don't trust anyone under 30.

* But seriously, the drinking rocks.


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## Acquana (Apr 30, 2005)

Any time of life is what you make it.  If you're with the sparse ones in this list who responded "Life sucks at adulthood/any other time," then there's going to be a bit more effort involved in making adulthood fun.  

I can give you at least one bit of advice that can make any time period better: love.  Cheezy as hell, but the best advice you'll ever get.  Life ain't about your work, because humankind has been around a lot longer than most jobs ... your dreams matter, but if you feel you don't matter to anyone, even people with aspirations feel miserable (little known fact: nearly half of those who go into artistic professions like writing or design have some form of chronic depression).  But through my time in life, I've seen that the most consistantly happy people are those who surround themselves with friends and loved ones.  The more you love others, the more you get back.  You're hurt now and again, but if you gave your best, then you have nothing to be really sad about: any responsibility is on the other party and you can rest easy knowing you're blameless.

So long as you remember what I said right there then yeah ... Adulthood is great.  Watch your health, gather love around you, never let go of your dreams ... All is well with the cosmos.

That goes for anyone else who responded adult life is no fun!


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## fusangite (Apr 30, 2005)

I hated being an adolescent; I wasn't too thrilled with my 20s. My life has been great since I turned 30. And it's not for material reasons -- I'm still an unsuccessful poor loser by the standards of mainstream society. It's just that it took me until my late 20s to learn to enjoy being alive. And now that I've figured it out, I love it.


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## Nareau (Apr 30, 2005)

Yeah, being an adult is pretty great.  I had a really hard time from 13-16, and was chronically depressed.  I only wish someone had been there to tell me, "yeah, life sucks...but it will get better."  

For me, being an adult is all about self-determination.  It's about realizing that you can do whatever you want to.  Sure, some things might get you beat up or thrown in jail...but that's a choice you get to make for yourself.  There's nothing more valuable than the freedom to determine your own future.

Spider


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## two (Apr 30, 2005)

*Knowledge and Sophistication*

Childhood and adolescence are many things; sophisticated is not one of them.

I spent much of my childhood and teen years feeling ignorant; understanding at a fundamental level that there was much I didn't know, that was too complicated, that "adults" dealt with and which was often completely confusing when approached without knowing how to approach it.

Childhood can be a happy time, but it is happiness born (to a greater or lesser extent) of ignorance, and its pleasures are (consequently) many but shallow.

Children do not understand art.  Children do not understand sacrifice.  Children do not understand love -- not really.  They don't understand just how complicated, confusing, and entangled human relations can be.  They don't know how indifferent the world is; they don't understand higher truths such as evolution (an in-depth understanding) or the rift between the spiritual and the material within ourselves, which is so important to so many adults.

No child reads and truly understands Henry James or Nabokov; these are adult pleasures, which I would not trade for the anything -- not for anything.  Certainly not the illusions of my youth, which were many.

Yes, adult life is messy, complicated, cruel, mean, confusing... 

the lows are so low, that some take their own lives.

the highs, though -- they are infinitely greater than anything a child is capable of.

Adulthood is not for the faint of heart.  It's not safe.  But yes.  It's fun being an adult -- much better than when I was a child (< 20 years old).


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## Thornir Alekeg (Apr 30, 2005)

Ultimately it is no different from being a kid.  Somedays it is so much fun its crazy they actually let you do it, other times it just sucks.  That is how I recall being a kid as well.  The things that make a good day or a bad day change, but the results are the same.  All you can do is hope that the fun times outnumber the sucky ones.

Don't rush into being an adult, but don't fear it either.


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## ssampier (May 1, 2005)

I don't know. As I get older, I'm starting to think happiness is a state of mind rather than state of being. I mean is, when I was younger, I would look forward to certain things, such as graduation, college, college graduation. Now I work for a living, I'm realizing that happiness doesn't come from age or circumstance (money, job, etc), but from within.

OK, that just sounded really trite. I think I'll take my Geritol(R) now*

*from a 24 year old bachelor being very introspective about life now. Back to your regularly scheduled program.


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## ssampier (May 1, 2005)

Henry said:
			
		

> ...
> There are un-fun things, like when you shell out over half your paycheck each month for bills.
> 
> ...




Gee Henry, you stink. I spend 75-80% of my paycheck on bills and miscellanous expenses, 10% is on entertainment, and 10%-15% for savings.


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## Wereserpent (May 1, 2005)

Well, I am only 16, going on 17 in June, but I already find that I like myself better now than when I was younger.  Sometimes I do look back at just a couple of years ago and get nostalgic, then I remember that I have much more knowledge now than I did then.


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## Davelozzi (May 1, 2005)

I like being an adult, just as I liked every other age, except maybe the junior high years.  They sucked.  Seriously though, at every other point in my life, I've always enjoyed where I was at, and I've never minded getting older either.  As much fun as I had say when I was in college, I wouldn't want to go back there if I could.  Looking back is pointless, it's better to enjoy where you are today, with a bit of an eye on tomorrow.


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## Algolei (May 1, 2005)

I'm 40, and it sucks being an adult.  That's why I've never tried it.  

A couple of weeks ago, someone tried yelling at me, "Would the adult in the blue jacket please stop running through the aisles with scissors."  I didn't realize they were talking to me, though, 'cause they said "adult."  They had to yell "Hey, you!" before I caught on.  And by then security was involved, and...well, I'll have to shop at a different Wal-Mart for a while.


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## RangerWickett (May 1, 2005)

I just got let go from my grocery store job.  Time to grow up and get a real job, I suppose.


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## Harmon (May 1, 2005)

*My experience*

Life sucks from beginning to end.  If you are lucky then you meet great people along the way and have some fun, but otherwise, it sucks.

When you get to be on your own things jump ten fold into the suck area.


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## Nifft (May 1, 2005)

Being an adult rocks. The pleasure of doing work that actually _matters_ more than makes up for the lack of free time.

*Adults rule!*

 -- N


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## Dakkareth (May 1, 2005)

Nifft said:
			
		

> *Adults rule!*




They do, because only they care about ruling 

There are people my age, who're adults, but I'm not among them. It's nothing I'm proud of.


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## DaveStebbins (May 2, 2005)

Speaking from the far side of 40 (turned 43 yesterday), I'll recite some of my favorite cliches.

There's many things in our lives that we have no control over. However, one thing that we always have control over is our attitude (barring certain medical/psychological diagnoses). You can focus on the good things and blessings in life, or you can focus on how unfair life has been to you. It doesn't change anything except your perceptions and your happiness. I examined things a couple decades ago and made a conscious decision to be happy. It was stupid, and senseless and I felt like an ass. Except that, after a while, it actually made a difference. My life turned around, though my circumstances didn't change. Life's been great ever since. Sure, there are lots of things that could be better (mostly my own shortcomings), but I'm healthier, happier and in better shape than I was twenty five years ago.

I'll also echo some other sentiments previously stated by others. Though I'm a big fan of responsibility, I feel that maturity is way over-rated. One of my favorite sayings is, "They can make me grow older, but they can't make me grow up."

In summary, life is out there waiting for you. You can go though it any way you want. There are people who have everything and aren't happy, there are people who have nothing and look forward joyously to every day. How you choose to go through life is just that: your choice.

-Dave


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (May 2, 2005)

Is it fun being an adult?

Well, it is for me. But then again, I made a conscious decision a long time ago that no matter what trappings of adulthood I amass (the house I own, the car I drive, the job I drive it too), I will stay a nerdy teenager in my heart of hearts forever.  So far everything is going according to plan.

Not that it wasn't fun when I actually was a kid, but being a kid with money, a car, a house I can do anything I want in, and good lovin' on demand - that's the way I like it.  I'm having so much fun it should be illegal.


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## mojo1701 (May 2, 2005)

Tarrasque Wrangler said:
			
		

> I'm having so much fun it should be illegal.




I believe that IS the definition of illegal  .


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## Krieg (May 2, 2005)

To paraphrase Mr. Stebbins...

Adulthood, like anything else in life is only what you make of it.


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## ShrinkyLink (May 3, 2005)

It has its moments. I'll be 40 in a few months, but I still feel like I'm seventeen. If I ignore the gray hair and the mortgage. Which, you know, is kinda difficult.


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## Sejs (May 3, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




Last night alone I ate my dessert before my dinner, did whatever I wanted to do on the computer, stayed up far past what should have been my bed time, and got to snuggle with my girl without having to be sneaky about it.  


Yes.  Being an adult is quite fun.


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## DonAdam (May 3, 2005)

Two words: rum!


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## Baron Opal (May 3, 2005)

Absolutely!

I have disposable income, a wife who loves me, and after a long, hard day my son jumps up and runs over to give me a hug. Life is sweet.

I could lose everything tomorrow, but right now, I'm on top. And there is no way I could be this happy as a child. I though so then, but now as an adult I know better.


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## VirgilCaine (May 3, 2005)

CarlZog said:
			
		

> Pal, it's fun just being.




Compared to the alternative, I have to agree with you. 

What's not to like? Oh, wait. Well, sorry, that's your fault. 

But, hey. Guns. Cars. Women. Gaming. Cash. Suits. Life could be worse.


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## mojo1701 (May 3, 2005)

DonAdam said:
			
		

> Two words: rum!




Because you've had so much that the words just seem to double up on you?


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## twofalls (May 3, 2005)

Shemeska said:
			
		

> But then again there is the whole sex thing so I guess it balances out




I still get to play games and pal with my friends on weekends. Raising my kids is a joy, and I married this amazing, gorgeous woman who enjoys the whole sex thing as much as I do... so yeah, being an adult is fun!


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## Mercule (May 3, 2005)

Much wisdom, already.  To quote (from here and elsewhere):

"It's fun just _being_."
"You get out of adulthood what you put into it."
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
"Most people are just about as happy as they decide to be."

Sorry to be Zen, but if those don't make sense, you probably wouldn't understand the long version, either.  Trust me when I say all are true, though.


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## pogre (May 3, 2005)

Having a job I love and am passionate about helps. Having a great wife and kids sends it over the top - Life as an adult is great!

_Your attitudes and the choices you make today will be your life tomorrow, build it wisely._ Sorry for the coach speak - we old football coaches just cannot help it.


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## Hodgie (May 3, 2005)

I have the great blessing of at least believing that each day is better than the last.  Whether or not that is true remains to be seen, but at this point I don't really care.


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## Belen (May 3, 2005)

Well..you have bills, responsibilities, job, yardwork.......at first glance, I would say no.

Then I remember that you also get women, so yes, being an adult is good


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## Henry (May 3, 2005)

ssampier said:
			
		

> Gee Henry, you stink. I spend 75-80% of my paycheck on bills and miscellanous expenses, 10% is on entertainment, and 10%-15% for savings.




"Over half" is actually closer to 65 to 70%, so don't get all jealous. I just didn't want to scare the kid too much.


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## Acquana (May 3, 2005)

*On Aging*

And on an artist-type note ... For some reason most artists don't get paid attention to unless they're over 30.  "Hey, lookin' pretty good.  Give yourself a few years and then we'll talk."  This I have been told is a fairly common statement for those of us looking for work.

>_<   So I guess I can't wait until I'm over 30, maybe then I'll be able to get more work more often!


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## No Name (May 4, 2005)

It wasn't at first.

Life lost all meaning when I hit adulthood. I'd compare it to realizing that there is no Santa or Easter Bunny. Adult life was eating, sleeping, doing uninteresting drone work, and paying the bills and taxes. Over and over, until you die. I had no religion to comfort me with the offer of a happy place after death. The idea of sharing the misery with someone, and bringing a child into it was horrifying.

I saw America as a consumer driven society. We're not people, not citizens; we are consumers. If we don't spend our money like idiots, the economy will collapse. But moving to another country would only prove that the grass is not greener anywhere else, there is no paradise to be found on the earth. Yet, I didn't want to live in a fantasy world like some lunatic bound for the insane asylum, or drink and drug myself numb. Upon becoming a real adult, I finally knew the ugly truth. There was no Santa.


So what's different now, what changed? What repainted the picture of life I described above into something interesting, and even fun?

_**As I sit here writing this, I wonder if I should tell the answer. There was a lot of fun in discovering it for myself**_

I should say a few things, but I think giving it away would be a bad choice. I don't want to sound like I'm quoting some worthless self-help book either. 

I'll just answer your question. Yes, being an adult is fun. Life just keeps getting more and more interesting.

Like adults tend to do, I'll leave you with some advice. Take it for what it's worth. (it's free )

Don't pursue things for the sake of security and life will be more fun. Security is like a mirage in the desert.

Time is definately not money. Remember that.

Oh yeah, there really is a Santa. How do you think your presents got under the tree?


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## Zappo (May 4, 2005)

Well, growing up is better than the alternative, IYKWIM.


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## Raging Epistaxis (May 4, 2005)

No Name said:
			
		

> I'd compare it to realizing that there is no Santa or Easter Bunny.



*WHAT!?!? *  

Them's fightin' words...   

Adulthood?  Depending on what you're focused on it's either highly overrated, highly underrated or somewhere in between. As the previous responses to this thread suggest.

Personally, being an adult is nothing like what I would have said it would be like if you had asked a teenage me.  But that's not saying it's bad.  Life is good. 

I agree with several earlier (and very wise) posters:  Attitude is key.  Everyone is dealt different flavors of the same sh.. uh, stuff.  Drudgery and ecstacy happen all the time.  What you focus on is what you remember and it colors your perceptions.

I'd ramble on more, but I believe Mr. Stebbins as put it as eloquently as I could hope.

And, while the more 'adult' aspect of adult relationships (i.e. Sex) is great, if you focus entirely on sexual relations for fulfillment, you will most likely be disappointed.

And suffer horrible wasting diseases, parts rotting off, and non-healing pus filled ulcers.  But I digress...

R E


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## DaveStebbins (May 5, 2005)

Raging Epistaxis said:
			
		

> I'd ramble on more, but I believe Mr. Stebbins as put it as eloquently as I could hope.



 Thank you for your kind words.



			
				Raging Epistaxis said:
			
		

> And, while the more 'adult' aspect of adult relationships (i.e. Sex) is great, if you focus entirely on sexual relations for fulfillment, you will most likely be disappointed.



Just like if you are in a relationship but go for years without...

-Dave
(trust me on that last one)


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## Raging Epistaxis (May 5, 2005)

DaveStebbins said:
			
		

> Just like if you are in a relationship but go for years without...
> 
> -Dave
> (trust me on that last one)



Heh. Yeah that's true.  Been there, didn't do that... 

Apollonian virtue, baby: Everything in moderation!

R E


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## ragboy (May 6, 2005)

DaveStebbins said:
			
		

> Speaking from the far side of 40 (turned 43 yesterday), I'll recite some of my favorite cliches.




Hey! We share a birthday. I turned 36... 

Adults... Good lord. Probably nothing that hasn't been said. I never really grew up, but being an adult has been a great ride. All the bills and hard work and relationship problems pale in comparison to just being able to sit still and understand what's going on around you and more importantly Knowing Yourself. I spent the first 10 years of my life seeking and finding, in small increments, who I was. Knowing that has me contented and knowing that I have so much more to learn. This is accelorated by having kids. Someone earlier said that you have to put your dreams on hold for 21+ years, but really, your dreams just morph and crystalize. All the shallow stupid dreams (lots of money, famous, etc) go away and are replaced by ones that are much more important (building a better human, becoming competent in a trade, feeling good about yourself). Not as flashy, but definitely more important.


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## kenobi65 (May 6, 2005)

ShrinkyLink said:
			
		

> If I ignore the gray hair and the mortgage.




The mortgage, I don't mind so much.  At least it provides me with a tax break.

The hair...ahh, the hair.  I *wish* it was sticking around long enough to go gray!


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## Hellefire (May 6, 2005)

The sex is great.
I get to do what I want. Well, I have a girlfriend and a baby so it's not quite as easy as it used to be. But she's pretty cool and my baby rocks. I still feel like quitting jobs and moving to another state or country every 2 months though.
Friday afternoon and I'm babbling. Yeah it's all fun unless you forget it's fun.

Aaron


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## Dr. Strangemonkey (May 8, 2005)

I love it.

Being an adult sure as hell is fun.  

To a large extent because you sort of fall out of being a kid, you grow into being an adult and you always get to add more to it.

Though it's weird to feel the efforts change.  As a kid things generally get easier or remain hard, as an adult I find they move around with no general pattern.


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## BlackSilver (May 8, 2005)

Yes and no.

Just remember to be patient, take your time and that everything will work out in the end.  If you can remember that- then you will do okay.


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## Rel (May 9, 2005)

Years ago I took some good advice from a wise man named Jimmy Buffett:  "I'm growing older but not up."

It's always easier to follow advice if you get some feedback.  Here's how I know I'm doing a good job of it:

I get down on the floor and play with little kids (including my own) and they love it.

I work hard when I can and must but I make sure to reserve a little "screw off" time to myself every week.

My wife shakes her head at my childish antics.  But then she smiles because she knows that it is one of the things she loves about me.

Most Importantly - People I know who hear about me playing D&D say, "You're STILL playing THOSE GAMES?!"


I'm having a great time being older.  I recommend it.

"Let those winds of time blow over my head.
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead."


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## jinx crossbow (May 9, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> I have a question to ask you. Is it fun being an adult?




Yes, it is!
Now I can buy alle the funny games I counldnt when I was a child.
RPGs, Tapletops, ....

I don't say its easy to be adult, but its fun.


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## alsih2o (May 9, 2005)

It just gets better and better.

 I am having a ball!


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## diaglo (May 9, 2005)

alsih2o said:
			
		

> I am having a ball!





do we have to dress up?
can i come as a pumpkin?

what time? where? are guests/escorts allowed?

details, mang. we need details.


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## alsih2o (May 9, 2005)

diaglo said:
			
		

> do we have to dress up?
> can i come as a pumpkin?
> 
> what time? where? are guests/escorts allowed?
> ...




 No. Yes. Whenever. Here. Sure.


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## Pielorinho (May 9, 2005)

I'm going to commit the cardinal sin of responding before I read the whole thread.  Since I'm saying something relatively uncontroversial, I hope folks'll forgive me.

I read an interview awhile ago with Lemony Snicket*, in which he told of being at the grocery store once with a kid who was whining to his mom about wanting a candy bar.

Lemony bent down to the kid and said, "You want to know the great thing about being a grownup?  It means I can eat candy whenever I want, and nobody can stop me.  In fact, I'm going to buy a candy bar right now and eat it all myself.  And you can't have any."  

Which is exactly what he did, as the child stared open-mouthed at him.  The kid learned a vital lesson about being a grownup that day.  Three lessons, actually:

1) It's not all bad, because you've got power.
2) It's pretty fun to lord that power over kids.
3) You still shouldn't do it, cuz it's mean.

Daniel

* Yeah yeah, I know.


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## Bartmanhomer (May 13, 2005)

Is it true that the more older you get, the more stress that you inflicted?


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## Jamdin (May 13, 2005)

Pros of being an adult:
1) No bullies
2) No school and homework
3) The ability to drive
4) The ability to see adult movies
5) Better chance of making friends

Cons of being an adult:
1) Arthritis getting worse every year
2) Bills
3) Work
4) Not being covered by your parents' health insurance
5) Friends getting married, having kids and moving away


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## Mr. Kaze (May 13, 2005)

Having a job with oodles of disposable income is fun.  Relaxing after a rough day on the job with a nice hit of hard liquor and playing with toys that I couldn't afford at any other point in my life is fun.  Having a wife who loves me for my mind, wit and body is fun.

Realizing that you're spending as much on your wife's art-school tuition as you are on your mortgage and that between the two you're not going to see any significant disposable income for the next two years and that your job won't be improving your disposable income for the next two years and that you really wish you could've just stayed in Australia instead of coming home from your honeymoon... ahhhhh... not so much.

Getting to "fun" as an adult is all about assessing your resources and aligning your priorities.  Stick close to people with the same priorities as you and put distance between you and people with other priorities.  (Don't marry somebody who wants kids, for example, if you consider children to be an 18-year loss of privacy and finances.)  Then figure out how far down your list of priorities you can get with your resources and go for it.

What was that song line... "Can't complain but sometimes I still do"?


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## Mr. Kaze (May 13, 2005)

Bartmanhomer said:
			
		

> Is it true that the more older you get, the more stress that you inflicted?




Absolutely.  A 2-day old has inflicted twice as much stress as a 1-day old.  Statistically, the rate of increase falls off pretty fast, but if we could focus the stress I've inflicted over my lifetime, I could probably cause hemorraging in a frog at 50 paces.  

Other people cause stress.  And the more living, breathing people you have to deal with and react to, the more stress you're likely to feel.  Approximately 150 million people in the United States think that the other 150 million are pretty dumb, possibly delusional, and generally wrong -- and that's a lot of stress to be tossing out into the world.

::Kaze (notes that even being stung by a Portugese Man-of-War is better in Australia.  See, over there, they call them "Bluebottles."  Now, if I say to you, "I'm going to slap you with this venomous fish, would you prefer the Portugese Man-of-War or the Bluebottle?" you're going to say Bluebottle because it doesn't sound nearly so nasty.  Technically it's the same thing, but that's not what's running through your mind when you're in the ocean and one of them wraps itself around your leg...)


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## Mr. Kaze (May 13, 2005)

Sejs said:
			
		

> Last night alone I ate my dessert before my dinner, did whatever I wanted to do on the computer, stayed up far past what should have been my bed time, and got to snuggle with my girl without having to be sneaky about it.
> 
> Yes.  Being an adult is quite fun.




Yeah, those are the times I turn to my wife and tell her that I enjoy being a grown-up with her.

Though the true test of adulthood is exercising fiscal responsibility by not buying the Ben & Jerry's unless it's on sale at 2/$5.

::Kaze (may be one in a million, but that just means that there are 6000 people in the world just like him -- and there's one right there!)


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## Bartmanhomer (May 14, 2005)

Ever since I was little, I thought being an adult would give me much freedom. But then again the rules applies to same. I guess there no anarchy of being an adult. Just more rules to deal with. D'oh!


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## Lazybones (May 14, 2005)

I've been at both ends represented in this thread. I was mostly miserable in my 20s; was poor as dirt, worked multiple jobs putting myself through college, grad school was insane, and I had virtually no success with the opposite sex. 

Conversely, my 30s have been pretty gravy. The best was getting married; my wife and I both have professional degrees (payoff for those years of scrabbling for pennies in college and grad school) and make plenty of money, we don't have children and take several trips to fun and interesting places each year, and I can pretty much just go out and buy anything I want (although it's interesting, as others have already noted, I don't want as much, the older I get). My job isn't the one that I would have picked, but it's stable, allows me to set my own pace, and has great managers who just promoted me again. We have a good group of friends and live in a town that has great restaurants, theatres, music, libraries, and athletics facilities, all within easy bicycling distance of our house. 

That last paragraph probably sounds like bragging. But I need to repeat that my life was so "unfun" in my 20s that I thought about cashing in at a few points. I just want people in the same situation to know that it can get better; when life is miserable and you think you can't get out of your situation, focus on the things you _can_ change (education, job, friends, and if necessary, therapy), and keep going.


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## Bartmanhomer (May 18, 2005)

Do you think being humor also affects of adulthood?


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## DaveStebbins (May 19, 2005)

Absolutely! A good sense of humor is an integral part of a good attitude, which the most important ingredient in a happy life (IMO). A sense of humor helps you gain a positive perspective on life, even if you are a cynic (like me).


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## Psionicist (May 19, 2005)

Edit: Wrong quote.


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## Bloodstone Press (May 19, 2005)

it has its good points and bad. 

 Seems like there is a lot fewer hours in the day now than there was 20 years ago. I've got a lot more freedom now, but I don't use it.


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