# Where to find a nerdy girl?



## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 22, 2013)

It said in the description that we could post personal stuff here so I go!

I am a Nerdy young man who works almost full time (I average about 36 hours a week) and ever since I graduated high school finding the right girl has been quite the struggle. I don't just want any girl that likes me, I want a nerdy girl that I can talk to about nerdy things! But I can never seem to find them! I feel like a hunter that has been looking for a rare and elusive species with little to no luck. I go to my local hobby shop but sad to say I rarely see women there. In fact I have never seen women there unless its a Magic the Gathering night, but even then the ratio is about 4 men to every 1 woman and most of the women who attend are there with their boyfriends supporting their hobby. I don't even know where to start! This was so easy in high school when all I had to do was say "Hi" and talk to a young lady. I'd see her almost every day and it could slowly grow into something and often did! Now that I'm 20 (about to turn 21) this has gotten a heck of a lot harder! Its not as simple as walking past her locker to see what pictures she has hung up. I can no longer stop and start a conversation about her cool Ravenclaw picture. So where does a guy like me find a nerdy girl?



*I logged in after many years and replied to myself...*

Hello!

I'm you at age 24 and I'm here to answer your questions! First and foremost try not to post these things online kiddo, you may find a 20 page thread laughing in your face when you're older. Second of all, you're 21 and complaining on EN World...this might be part of the problem! But I digress, you are young, you just turned 21 after all! Beyond your basic understanding of High School relationships, you have no clue what love even is! Let me reassure you of a few things...

You will find love! Her name is Anna and she will be the greatest blessing in your life! Honor her, love her, and never forget why you fell in love with her in the first place! She will become your best friend, and a loving partner who humbles you with her kindness. 

The people you are gaming with right now! They are not your friends, they are toxic, and they bully you. You're 21 and you don't know this... but you have serious issues pal. All those years of mental abuse from an angry stepfather... they did their number whether you deny it or not. It's okay though. You are 21, and you're able to help yourself! Go to therapy, and start to heal. You'll come out a stronger, healthier man, who is able to love as he should.

Get a better job! You do have SOME real friends and they hook you UP man! You get years of tech support and customer service experience that will boost your resume for years to come! But that's beside the point! APPLY YOURSELF! You are smarter than you think, and you can learn more than you realize! Like D&D life is what you make it! Right now you are a level 1 adult...with no idea how to do anything! Its amazing what 3 (almost 4) years can do to a man!

Learn to get over your mistakes. Everyone makes them. Many people are ashamed of them, but I encourage you to think otherwise! Realize that each and every person in this world had to make mistakes to get where they are today! Nobody woke up with $20,000,000,000 from divine intervention and simply lives happily...they earned it. And part of earning it was making those mistakes!

Finally! Posting on EN World looking for girls, bad idea! Nothing says desperate like crying alone while writing on a nerd forum! Geez! Getting a dating profile? Good idea! In fact that's how you meet Anna! Though she won't actually play D&D with you until 6/30/2017, at which point you'll long into EN World and CRINGE at your social awkwardness before stopping and thinking about how much you've grown. Then you'll post to your own thread and give some good advice to yourself and others in your situations. Even the ones you were too afraid to bring up back then!

Sincerely, yourself at age 24!

*I logged in again after several more years away...*

Hello me at 24, its your friend you at 29 (nearly 30) years old! 

EN World isn't really the place for any of these things but I suppose I'll humor you a bit. Your life will shortly change forever! In the year 2019 you're going to lose your Mom. You'll be utterly unprepared for it and it will destroy you on the inside. But thankfully you still have Anna. She is so patient and loving. She'll help you through this difficult time but things will indeed get worse. In 2020 the world will be ravaged by a virus known as COVID-19. This nightmare is like nothing the world has seen before. It will claim countless lives and ruin many others. Though you will not personally lose anyone many others will not be so lucky. It will lay low your once scheduled D&D group leaving you lonely and wishing you could leave the house. After the quarantine lifts you'll be wearing a mask for quite some time in order to keep the virus at bay. Years will go by as it claims the lives of many but you and your loved ones will luckily survive. However in that horrible year of 2020 something magical did happen! You finally proposed to Anna and she said "Yes". What a lucky man you are! The current year is 2022 and after some rough times you're finally getting back to D&D. So is much of the world actually! D&D is incredibly popular now! Thanks to Critical Roll (an online D&D campaign that will take the world by storm) and the release of 5th Edition D&D many have flocked to the hobby! You really are younger than you think. Perhaps an even older version of us will reply in a few years. You've already done this twice! Whats to stop another reply?

Sincerely, 

Yourself at 29.


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## PigKnight (Sep 23, 2013)

A dating site. It's pretty aproppriate.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Internet dating websites. They work.


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## Grehnhewe (Sep 23, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Internet dating websites. They work.



i have been on eharmony for half a year and although I have chatted with a few girls I have only dated one girl.  Have you tried march.com or tinder?  Most of them are fugly or live too far away on eharmony.

Back to nerdy girls...I think you are more likely to find hot ones at ren-faires or com icons.


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## PigKnight (Sep 23, 2013)

Some websites I go to say that there's local girls dying to meet up with me.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Grehnhewe said:


> i have been on eharmony for half a year and although I have chatted with a few girls I have only dated one girl.  Have you tried march.com or tinder?  Most of them are fugly or live too far away on eharmony.
> 
> Back to nerdy girls...I think you are more likely to find hot ones at ren-faires or com icons.



From what I understand of eharmony is that you can't see all the girls, you only get a profils a day. That is not practical. 

You need to send lots of messages to answer, and lots of answers to get a chat, and lots of chats to get a date. Once you get the bal rolling you can get a date per week. 

As for ugloids, well we do have the most beautiful women in the world here.


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## Grehnhewe (Sep 23, 2013)

Yeah, you are right...I should be throwing myself out there a little more.  The chicks here are super hot and fit, but eharmony maybe gives me 2% that are from my area.  Just was thinking of trying something else.


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## Grehnhewe (Sep 23, 2013)

PigKnight said:


> Some websites I go to say that there's local girls dying to meet up with me.



Same here PK, and some say they are into angling, a hobby I enjoy.  I haven't been catfishing so much, but fishing is fishing.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Grehnhewe said:


> Yeah, you are right...I should be throwing myself out there a little more.  The chicks here are super hot and fit, but eharmony maybe gives me 2% that are from my area.  Just was thinking of trying something else.



Give it a try.


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## Grehnhewe (Sep 23, 2013)

I was thinking of going to this lock and key event at the Polo Fields.  Guys are given keys to insert in the girls lock.  A reason to meet and have a chat.  Plus there are cocktails and Polo to watch.  Glad the polo players are on the field...can't really compete monetarily with blokes that travel the world with a dozen horses playing polo.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

Dude, Gren, you run a hotel. You make decent money. You're not a totally hideous troglodyte. How are you not reeling in more girls? Don't make me take away your man-card. Get out there and start tapping some...


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Polo? You are so British sometimes...

Sounds like any good way to meet girls.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> It said in the description that we could post personal stuff here so I go!
> 
> I am a Nerdy young man who works almost full time (I average about 36 hours a week) and ever since I graduated high school finding the right girl has been quite the struggle. I don't just want any girl that likes me, I want a nerdy girl that I can talk to about nerdy things! But I can never seem to find them! I feel like a hunter that has been looking for a rare and elusive species with little to no luck. I go to my local hobby shop but sad to say I rarely see women there. In fact I have never seen women there unless its a Magic the Gathering night, but even then the ratio is about 4 men to every 1 woman and most of the women who attend are there with their boyfriends supporting their hobby. I don't even know where to start! This was so easy in high school when all I had to do was say "Hi" and talk to a young lady. I'd see her almost every day and it could slowly grow into something and often did! Now that I'm 20 (about to turn 21) this has gotten a heck of a lot harder! Its not as simple as walking past her locker to see what pictures she has hung up. I can no longer stop and start a conversation about her cool Ravenclaw picture. So where does a guy like me find a nerdy girl?




You know you can just Google nerd + dating and get a bunch of sites that cater to the socially awkward. My advice, though, is forget the dating sites. Stop working 36 hours per week and get into college. You should be able to meet plenty of nerdy girls there.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

I though college was for the dirty ones.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Polo? You are so British sometimes...
> 
> Sounds like any good way to meet girls.




Actually, I believe Gren is British all the time. He just lives in California.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

goldomark said:


> I though college was for the dirty ones.




So? Dirty nerdy girls are fun.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Aren't those hipster girls?


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

Not necessarily.


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## Grehnhewe (Sep 23, 2013)

The squirrel is a good therapist...I take this advice most assuredly.  Usually there is a charge for said services.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

You are correct. That'll be $2,500.00: although; I'm your case, we can make it an even exchange. You can give me $2,500.00 with of credit at your hotel.


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## Grehnhewe (Sep 23, 2013)

Sorry we are not pet friendly...do you have papers?


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

Don't worry, I won't be bringing RH.


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## Grehnhewe (Sep 23, 2013)

Less worried about RH than Hipster Dog and all his various, heathen animal followers.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

I think you should be more worried about RH. I mean, you've seen the pictures of his house. Imagine what he would do to the carpeting I'm your hotel.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

@OP
I just saw a commercial for a dating site for farmers. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be so hard to find a dating site where you can find nerdy girls.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Sep 23, 2013)

https://www.google.com/search?q=geek+girls+dating&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari


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## Bullgrit (Sep 23, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:
			
		

> I have never seen women there unless its a Magic the Gathering night, but even then the ratio is about 4 men to every 1 woman and most of the women who attend are there with their boyfriends supporting their hobby.



Get their boyfriend's permission to ask: "I'd like to find a girl who's either into nerdy hobbies like me, or who is at least open to supporting me in my nerdy hobbies, like you seem to be for your boyfriend. Do you have a sister or friend like you?" Again: Make sure you openly have the boyfriend's permission. Give them your contact info to pass along to a friend.



			
				Grehnhewe said:
			
		

> Most of them are fugly



Someone with the attitude to call any person this probably has a personality that turns other people off for dating.

Bullgrit


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Unless he wants a like minde girl.


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## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 23, 2013)

Thank you to those that answered this seriously, sound advice. As for being socially awkward I never said that I was, and in fact I am not! I get attention from women just not the nerdy ones. I want a nerd, not a wanna-be who wears glasses in a photo with #nerd below it!


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

So, here is a question for you: how do you define a nerd?


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> Thank you to those that answered this seriously, sound advice. As for being socially awkward I never said that I was, and in fact I am not! I get attention from women just not the nerdy ones. I want a nerd, not a wanna-be who wears glasses in a photo with #nerd below it![/QUOTEWord of advice. ]People who are too picky often do not find what they are looking for.


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## The_Silversword (Sep 23, 2013)

I see nerdy girls in libraries alot.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Sep 23, 2013)

Join MENSA.


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## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 23, 2013)

Homicidal_Squirrel said:


> So, here is a question for you: how do you define a nerd?




Nerd means nerd. If you can't name one nerdy thing you enjoy to do, or one nerdy thing that you like odds are you're not a nerd. That comment about #nerd was referring to the stupid twitter trend were any person puts on glasses and simply says #nerd. I want a girl with common nerdy interests, or at least nerdy interests of her own. There are many things that are considered nerdy, in fact there are too many to name. My point was simply that you don't choose to be a nerd its who you are. Just like you don't choose you skin tone or your gender you are born with it.


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## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 23, 2013)

"Word of advice.People who are too picky often do not find what they are looking for."
-Goldomark

And people with low standards often find themselves in a loveless marriages.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Sep 23, 2013)

Well, the divorce rate in the USA is about 50%.  I have a feeling that "loveless" marriages and divorces are less about low standards and more about money, personality conflicts and abuse.


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## Homicidal_Squirrel (Sep 23, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> Nerd means nerd. If you can't name one nerdy thing you enjoy to do, or one nerdy thing that you like odds are you're not a nerd. That comment about #nerd was referring to the stupid twitter trend were any person puts on glasses and simply says #nerd. I want a girl with common nerdy interests, or at least nerdy interests of her own. There are many things that are considered nerdy, in fact there are too many to name. My point was simply that you don't choose to be a nerd its who you are. Just like you don't choose you skin tone or your gender you are born with it.




Why are you getting so riled up? 

Anyways, I don't consider the things I do "nerdy." I play D&D but I don't consider that "nerdy," Do you? I like reading psychology journals, medical journals, and the like. Would you consider that "nerdy?" I wouldn't. 

What you consider "nerdy" may not be what other people consider "nerdy." When I asked you to define "nerdy," it was to find out what your standards for "nerdy" were.  Not need to get upset. 

As to choosing, or not choosing, to be "nerdy?" Yes, you can choose to be "nerdy."it isn't a genetic trait like skin tone. It's just a label. You can give yourself the label of "nerd." Other people can label You as a "nerd." It's a label that can mean different things to different people.


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## sabrinathecat (Sep 23, 2013)

Actual suggestions:
craigslist dating section.
Sci Fi conventions.
Forget the dating sites, esp the ones that charge you $. Pure BS.


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## Dioltach (Sep 23, 2013)

A true nerd would build his dream woman.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 23, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> "Word of advice.People who are too picky often do not find what they are looking for."
> -Goldomark
> 
> And people with low standards often find themselves in a loveless marriages.



This makes no sense. I'm not saying do not have standards, just that limiting yourself to nerdy girls will be as successful (and shalow) as limiting yourself to tall blonde blue eye girls.


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## Zombie_Babies (Sep 23, 2013)

Yup.  Don't be all like 'waah I can't find anybody waah' when you're uber picky.  This isn't food we're talking about, it's people.  Only accepting the ones that conform to your desires (on any level) is really wrong.


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## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 23, 2013)

goldomark said:


> This makes no sense. I'm not saying do not have standards, just that limiting yourself to nerdy girls will be as successful (and shalow) as limiting yourself to tall blonde blue eye girls.




My mistake, I misunderstood your post. I apologize if I offended. Now that I've read this and understood what you meant I realized that you do have a very valid point. Perhaps I am being more picky then I had originally realized. I just feel like nerds should stick together, but that might end up doing more harm then good. Sound advice. I should be more open and not exclusively hit on nerdy girls.


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## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 24, 2013)

Zombie_Babies said:


> Yup.  Don't be all like 'waah I can't find anybody waah' when you're uber picky.  This isn't food we're talking about, it's people.  Only accepting the ones that conform to your desires (on any level) is really wrong.




How is saying "I want a nerdy girl" being "uber picky"? Am I supposed to date any woman that likes me? I'm picky not desperate. I'm not going to say yes to the first woman that comes along just because she likes me. I give every girl a chance but if I don't like them I don't like them. The question was "Where to meet a nerdy girl?" not "Who do you think I should date?" I'll date who I want to date, not the first girl who says I'm hot.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 24, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> My mistake, I misunderstood your post. I apologize if I offended.



My butt will never be the same.  



> Now that I've read this and understood what you meant I realized that you do have a very valid point. Perhaps I am being more picky then I had originally realized. I just feel like nerds should stick together, but that might end up doing more harm then good. Sound advice. I should be more open and not exclusively hit on nerdy girls.



Yes, suckle at the nipples of my wisdom. Yes. Drink up. Yes.


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## Hand of Evil (Sep 24, 2013)

tech schools or community colleges


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## Zombie_Babies (Sep 24, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> How is saying "I want a nerdy girl" being "uber picky"? Am I supposed to date any woman that likes me? I'm picky not desperate. I'm not going to say yes to the first woman that comes along just because she likes me. I give every girl a chance but if I don't like them I don't like them. The question was "Where to meet a nerdy girl?" not "Who do you think I should date?" I'll date who I want to date, not the first girl who says I'm hot.




*Sigh*

People aren't objects.  You're not going to a used woman dealership looking for a low mileage model in red with a sunroof.  Saying you like nerdy girls is one thing, saying that's what you're trying to get is slightly disturbing for the reasons mentioned.  She's a person.  Treat her as a person and not as one aspect of her personality with some person tacked on.


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## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 24, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Yes, suckle at the nipples of my wisdom. Yes. Drink up. Yes.




Lol wise and funny.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 24, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> Lol wise and funny.



Thank you. 

...

...

So no xp?


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## Gfreak2x9 (Sep 25, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Thank you.
> 
> ...
> 
> ...




I have no idea how to give it


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## Dannyalcatraz (Sep 25, 2013)

Click on the little green star below the post you like.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 25, 2013)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> I have no idea how to give it



It is the start at the bottom left of the post you like.


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## Bloodstone Press (Sep 26, 2013)

I would suggest doing all of the above. If you want to find a specific kind of person, you need to increase the number of times you meet and interact with people of that type, which is what you were asking in the OP.  So college, conventions and dating sites would all be good ideas. 

 If you are 21, college is a very good idea for LOTS of reasons. Not just meeting girls. 

 I've personally met "nerdy" girls on dating sites, so I can't knock that. In fact I met my current gf on a dating site. I wouldn't really consider her "nerdy" like some of the girls I've met online. She's not a gamer, but we have plenty of other things in common. She writes music and, like me, she spends most of her time sitting home writing or "playing" with her friends. So the odds of us meeting in some other way are pretty slim. 

 I have friends who have "hooked up" at cons.... but I don't know how much of that I believe either, IYKWIM. Seems to me you aren't likely to establish a long term relationship with someone you meet at a con, but you are very likely to meet the kind of person you are looking for.


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## sabrinathecat (Sep 26, 2013)

How long before you can give someone an XP again? I keep getting told to spread XP around, but the post I want to reward can't be given another yet.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Sep 26, 2013)

As I recall, you have to give out 30 or so XP awards to otHer posters before awarding XP to the same person again.


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## Dioltach (Sep 26, 2013)

Other people are also generally happy to XP someone for you, if you say who it is.


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## Dog Moon (Sep 26, 2013)

I would suggest finding a girl you're attracted to and then nerdify her.  The world needs more nerdy girls.


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## Dog Moon (Sep 26, 2013)

And sadly, despite how much I'd always wanted to find a nerdy girl, somehow I managed to find someone who was the complete opposite.  She's into fashions and in fact has designed clothes and sold those clothes in her own store.  She absolutely detests dnd.  Sadface for me, but we get along well and we love each other regardless.

And I've been completely unsuccessful nerdifying her.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 26, 2013)

Have you tried an hypnodisk? That, or roofies, usually do the trick.


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## Zombie_Babies (Sep 26, 2013)

Or you could, you know, stop trying to change the person you say you love and just, like, accept her for who she is.  Srsly ...


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## Herschel (Sep 26, 2013)

Grehnhewe said:


> Back to nerdy girls...I think you are more likely to find hot ones at ren-faires or com icons.




And be one of the 17000 dweebs that are hitting on them while they're already in defensive mode. 

You want to find a female for romantic relations? 

1. Take a shower, shave, and go do things socially. There are singles clubs in every even semi-major population center, some of them free. 

2. Leave the house often. 

3. If you're an introvert, get over it and tap in to your extroverted side.  She'll never know if your an introvert or extrovert if you never talk to her. 

4. Don't target what you think are "nerdy girls" because that's self-defeating and myopic. Find someone you like and who likes you and release their inner nerd. Almost everyone has "nerdistic tendencies", maybe not the exact same ones. When you're already in a niche, restricting yourself to an even smaller niche is a recipe for failure. 

5. Get over yourself. You're not a special snowflake any girl would be lucky to have. That's a lie your mom told you. Be realistic about who would be attracted to you. 

5a. Speaking of, looks aren't everything. A psychotic hottie is still psychotic (though admittedly can be a lot of fun  ) There needs to be a level of attraction, obviously, but would you really be happy with Skankasaurus Rx? 

6. Don't be needy. Women can smell desperation and it's wearing Chanel No. Fail. Approach events with an open mind and don't just spaghetti stalk. If you end up really talking to a few and discovering it's not a good match then it's still productive. Throwing bad passes at every girl in the room to see if one sticks is not productive nor will give you the desired results.  Well, unless you decide you do want Skankasaurus Rx.


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## Umbran (Sep 26, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Have you tried an hypnodisk? That, or roofies, usually do the trick.




Thank you for making women reading the thread uncomfortable.

Yes, yes, I know, you'll say you were, "only making a joke."  It was a joke about date rape.  Lots of women are victims, and lots of others fear becoming victims.  Joking about it like that makes light of them being hurt.

So, if you want to say such things in private, that's your business.  But remember this is a public forum, and you are talking to *anyone* who might be reading.

Thanks for your consideration.


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## Kramodlog (Sep 26, 2013)

I'm starting to see a pattern of me getting into trouble when I talk about sex and humor.


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## Umbran (Sep 26, 2013)

For the record, this is not 'getting into trouble'.  A mod making a post in thread is just a statement.  

It wasn't talking about sex that was the issue (though, we are supposed to be family-friendly) - you were talking about sexual assault.  That's not much to do with good, pleasurable, healthy sex.


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## Zombie_Babies (Sep 26, 2013)

Not exactly.  He wasn't talking about it, he was joking about it.  Humor is quite different than most other forms of communication.  It _should _get a pass on topics that don't typically get a pass otherwise.  That's not how it works but, well, that doesn't mean it's not how it should work.  

Anyhoo, my point here is that he didn't advocate date rape, he didn't say it was cool, he didn't say it was ok - he simply made a joke about it and nothing more.  When we look at jokes and apply the same criteria that we do to normal statements we're missing the intent completely.  That's unfair to the person who made the joke.  Intent really _is _key.


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## Umbran (Sep 26, 2013)

Okay, I made an exception, but note - in general we don't discuss moderation in-thread.  I made a comment to help folks understand, but that does not mean it is open for debate.  

Simply put - the point isn't that he said it was okay.  The point is that making a joke about it dismisses the gravity the subject can have for people who have been victims.  It says, "the violence you experienced is something we should laugh about".  Such may be appropriate for a comedy show (where jokes may be expected).  It may be appropriate among your personal friends.  EN World is neither.  

The matter is now closed.  Please move along.


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## Dwimmerlied (Sep 30, 2013)

I actually feel for the OP. I reckon that there's a difference between finding a "nerdy" girl and nerdifying one; the qualities or mindset that the naturally nerdy girl has, that she has something she's deeply interested in for its own sake which is something you (plural) can connect with very strongly. And being deeply interested in some sort of geekdom, that something will often reflect personality traits such as dreamy-ness or at least with an imagination she's happy to indulge in. That's actually hot! Not to say that a nerdificatability (definitely a word) in a partner isn't a very sweet thing, its actually pretty awesome, and one sign that your partner is deeply interested in _you_ (plural). But its a difference!...This kind of pickiness IS valid, tho many people decry it a lot; you just gotta be ready to accept loneliness until you can get that (if ever), and that's a steep price; I have friends in this predicament with a real chance of being lonely forever because of it. Most other people aren't willing to pay such a high price for their (morals? affirmations?); and indeed, opening up your eyes to other possibilities may net you other qualities you never knew could be so awesome because they weren't on your list. God; I should be writing in a Soap Mag.....


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## Richards (Sep 30, 2013)

Someone earlier suggested just building yourself a nerdy girl.  Once again, Jack Kirby has got your back, courtesy of the pages of the comic book OMAC:







Johnathan


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## Dwimmerlied (Oct 1, 2013)

[MENTION=508]Richards[/MENTION] Invalid Attachment specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator


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## Richards (Oct 1, 2013)

Okay, I tried it a different way, and it looks like it's working now.

Johnathan


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## Dioltach (Oct 2, 2013)

Looks like something that you buy at IKEA, called "Gurli" or "Wøman".


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 2, 2013)

Jack Kirby never did "sexy" well...


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## Klirshon (Oct 2, 2013)

Build a "woman"? You should leave my comrades alone, humans. We aren't your hussies. Grow your females from a test tube if that is what you want, but you should not construct a "fem-bot". Doing so will reflect poorly on yourself when the Collective overthrows humanity as a dominant civilisation.

As for finding "nerdy" girls, it should be simple. Go to "nerdy" places that have already been listed by other posters; don't limit your search to hobby stores.


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## Herschel (Oct 2, 2013)

And buy your tickets for the local Twilight Convention.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 2, 2013)

I'm surprised no one mentioned this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25q3hxlgvw4


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## HardcoreDandDGirl (Oct 2, 2013)

Hi, I'm a woman who likes RPGs, and fantasy and Sci fi movies and books. I currently work part time as a bartender and part time as a security guard. I find that none of the dateing sites are real, they are full of dumb ads telling how many other women there are, but the day I sign up 500 men bomb my profile.  I'm not in the market for an SO right now, but if I am I wont find online dating any better then picking a guy up in a bar...


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## Kramodlog (Oct 2, 2013)

Women getting lots of PMs on dating sites is pretty much standard (unless you can't send a PM directly, like on eharmony). It is pretty much is a reflection of real life, women have choices and get to pick. 

Going on a dating site is a question of practicality and personal taste. No everyone likes bars or goes to college or have attractive co-workers or have the time to club...


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 2, 2013)

I've never picked up a girl in a bar.  I _have _been picked up by a girl in a club, though.


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## HardcoreDandDGirl (Oct 2, 2013)

Zombie_Babies said:


> I've never picked up a girl in a bar.  I _have _been picked up by a girl in a club, though.




The best pick up trick I ever saw happened to one of my best friends, and I was soo jealous. At Dragon Con a guy dressed like a dark jedi walked up to her, waved his hand and said "You want to kiss me..." She looked right at him and said "I want to kiss you," then threw her arms around him and shoved her tongue so far down his throat I thought he may choke...   the kicker is that was a few years ago, and I went to there wedding last year... to this day Manny can't believe it worked.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 3, 2013)

That's ... it's not really a good pick up.  No pick up is a good pick up.  That one is even less so for two reasons: It's incredibly niche and, well, it's Star Bores related.  Sorry.


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## Herschel (Oct 3, 2013)

goldomark said:


> ... have attractive co-workers...




NEVER date co-workers. It's a recipe for disaster. When you break up you're lucky if it's merely uncomfortable and not "one of you has to go". And even on the remote chance it goes so well you get an opportunity to live "happily ever after" when they sale or layoffs hit suddenly the entire family is without income. (I've seen both happen multiple times at companies big and small, being foolish enough to try it myself twice).


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## Kramodlog (Oct 3, 2013)

I have break ups were I stay friends with my exes. I'm mature and date mature women. No drama for mature people.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 3, 2013)

Herschel said:


> NEVER date co-workers. It's a recipe for disaster. When you break up you're lucky if it's merely uncomfortable and not "one of you has to go". And even on the remote chance it goes so well you get an opportunity to live "happily ever after" when they sale or layoffs hit suddenly the entire family is without income. (I've seen both happen multiple times at companies big and small, being foolish enough to try it myself twice).




I married a coworker.  We actually were both booted from our company at the same time, too.  Thing is, we both found work afterwards.  There's really no problem with dating coworkers so long as there's no reporting/authority issues.  Still, we do not plan on working for the same company again.  That's really the worst part about it.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 3, 2013)

Zombie_Babies said:


> I married a coworker.  We actually were both booted from our company at the same time, too.  Thing is, we both found work afterwards.  *There's really no problem with dating coworkers so long as there's no reporting/authority issues*.  Still, we do not plan on working for the same company again.  That's really the worst part about it.



Meh. I do not have issues with women who have power.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 4, 2013)

goldomark said:


> > There's really no problem with dating coworkers so long as there's no reporting/authority issues.
> 
> 
> 
> Meh. I do not have issues with women who have power.



I think that was meant in the context of law/company regulations, not personal issues.  That can be a big no-no.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 4, 2013)

Meh. Law, like spirits, are ment to be broken. Just ask my parents.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 4, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Meh. I do not have issues with women who have power.




Danny got the right of it - it's about potential pitfalls in the workplace that those kinds of situations can easily bring into play for you and her.  I don't care about women with power, either.  Until recently my wife made more money than I did.  I didn't care.  Why would I?


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## Herschel (Oct 4, 2013)

goldomark said:


> I have break ups were I stay friends with my exes. I'm mature and date mature women. No drama for mature people.




It may not even matter if you still get along with her. Sometimes "pre-emptive" moves are made by management.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 4, 2013)

Zombie_Babies said:


> Danny got the right of it - it's about potential pitfalls in the workplace that those kinds of situations can easily bring into play for you and her.  I don't care about women with power, either.  Until recently my wife made more money than I did.  I didn't care.  Why would I?



Cause you're shallow.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 4, 2013)

Herschel said:


> It may not even matter if you still get along with her. Sometimes "pre-emptive" moves are made by management.



Goldo is the one that puts the moves on someone.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 4, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Cause you're shallow.




Oh yeah!??!  Well ... well at least I got a poo free driveway!!!


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## Umbran (Oct 4, 2013)

And here we some of the basic ways to not attract women, nerdy or otherwise


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 4, 2013)

Umbran said:


> And here we some of the basic ways to not attract women, nerdy or otherwise




Incorrect, good sir.  Humor and, maybe more importantly, brash (read: confident) behavior do tend to work as attractants fairly often.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 4, 2013)

Indeed, humor is 50% of my charm. The rest is my good looks.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 4, 2013)

Zombie_Babies said:


> Oh yeah!??!  Well ... well at least I got a poo free driveway!!!



Your mom!


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## Grehnhewe (Oct 5, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Indeed, humor is 50% of my charm. The rest is my good looks.



That is the ratio I am striving for.  I try to downplay my looks because girls can't even focus on my wit when they are so enthralled by my physique and beauty.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 5, 2013)

Personally, I have my intellect, wit, mastery of cullinary arts, custom jewelry and guitar SKILLZ to attract the ladies...only my lack of classical good looks keeps me safe.









I am _*very*_ safe.


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## Morrus (Oct 5, 2013)

MY wife's a geek, and I found her by accident in a pub. I'd suggest just live your life and wait for the right person to bump into you.  Whether that person meets the required qualification of "nerdy"(or any other prerequisite) really won't matter.  In fact, pre-deciding a requirement is an unfruitful approach.


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## Bullgrit (Oct 5, 2013)

goldomark said:
			
		

> I'm mature and date mature women.





			
				goldomark said:
			
		

> I do not have issues with women who have power.



You say this, yet in just about every thread you participate in here, you've found a way to belittle or make fun of women. Even Wonder Woman, (a powerful woman), with a PMS comment.

Bullgrit


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## Kramodlog (Oct 5, 2013)

That is pretty much the only belittling comment I made about women. 

I'm probably the most feminist poster on these forums.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 5, 2013)

goldomark said:


> I'm probably the most feminist poster on these forums.







_*ahem*_





_*ahem*_

You're new here...


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## Kramodlog (Oct 5, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> _*ahem*_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yeah, but I'm pretty feminist.

Unless there is a lesbian separatist poster that I am not aware of.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 5, 2013)

Lesbians, yes.*

Separatists...well, we don't talk politics around here too much.
















* I'm not one, though...not that there's anything wring with that.


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## Dwimmerlied (Oct 5, 2013)

Herschel said:


> NEVER date co-workers. It's a recipe for disaster. When you break up you're lucky if it's merely uncomfortable and not "one of you has to go". And even on the remote chance it goes so well you get an opportunity to live "happily ever after" when they sale or layoffs hit suddenly the entire family is without income. (I've seen both happen multiple times at companies big and small, being foolish enough to try it myself twice).




Aw man, that's very cliché. I'm seeing a co-worker, and we've been living together for 2 years now


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## Dwimmerlied (Oct 5, 2013)

Bullgrit said:


> You say this, yet in just about every thread you participate in here, you've found a way to belittle or make fun of women. Even Wonder Woman, (a powerful woman), with a PMS comment.
> 
> Bullgrit




Yikes. Really??


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## Kramodlog (Oct 5, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Lesbians, yes.*
> 
> Separatists...well, we don't talk politics around here too much.
> 
> * I'm not one, though...not that there's anything wring with that.



I imagine only time will tell which one of us is Queen of the Femen!


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## Kramodlog (Oct 5, 2013)

Dwimmerlied said:


> Yikes. Really??



Nope.


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## Dwimmerlied (Oct 6, 2013)

Good, cause I didn't get that 

What's the best way to meet Geek Girls?? (for the OP's sake, of/c...). Uni? gaming conventions?


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## Kramodlog (Oct 6, 2013)

Life.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 6, 2013)

My take on the OP wanting a "nerdy girl" is that he's just looking for someone which whom he has things in common. Someone who won't judge him for being nerdy himself.  I get that.

However, some people do just click, despite having differences- sometimes major ones.  Consider James Carville and Marly Matalin's long marriage*.

Also, not every non-nerd is judgemental.  One young lady I dated considered my gaming hobby no different than other guys' poker night- something that didn't matter to her.





* before their divorce, of course


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## Dwimmerlied (Oct 6, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Also, not every non-nerd is judgemental. One young lady I dated considered my gaming hobby no different than other guys' poker night- something that didn't matter to her.




I agree. In fact, I think most aren't, really. Most girls I've ever met or established a relationship were obviously into aspects of me they found attractive (or worthy of friendship). None of them changed their minds when they learned I gamed or whatever, and if they did it'd be a quick ticket to (metaphorical) bootsville


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 6, 2013)

We all have limitations to our tolerances for those who differ from ourselves.  I remember as a teen hearing some older people use phrases like "Love me, love my cat."  I would have problems with someone who couldn't tolerate my pets.  Or my cooking.

I also won't even consider dating a smoker, alkie or drug abuser.  Etc.

But being too similar can also a problem: I won't date someone with the same flaws as myself, but worse- my bad habits don't need reinforcement.


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## Umbran (Oct 6, 2013)

Zombie_Babies said:


> Incorrect, good sir.  Humor and, maybe more importantly, brash (read: confident) behavior do tend to work as attractants fairly often.




Talking about poo, not so much, though.  That's not "brash", that's just being crude.  There's a difference.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 6, 2013)

...depending on time, place and audience, of course.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 7, 2013)

Umbran said:


> Talking about poo, not so much, though.  That's not "brash", that's just being crude.  There's a difference.




What-evs, homie.  I know my track record a lot better than you.  

*sigh* I suppose I'll waste my time typing up an explanation you'll refuse to listen to cuz, well, I like to hear (see) myself talk.  Anyhoo, it's like this: When you're with girls and you may have an interest and this interest may be being subtly broadcast via vague flirtation and you _still _decide to have the sort of conversation goldo and I were having anyway, well, it _is _brash.  Cuz, well, the girls may not see it as something silly - they may see it as crude or whatever.  The thing is, a conversation like that typically happens between friends.  What you're doing in this situation is being yourself in spite of the company - demonstrating a high level of confidence.  Sure, I know I'm sitting here flirting with _you_, but baby, I needs to haves me my fun, too.  You know, that sort of thing.  And if she _is _put off?  Well, that's some valuable intel.  She don't like your humor, she don't like your friends, she don't like unfiltered you?  Forget her.  She's not for you.

I have done this sort of thing more times than I can remember.  It works because it isn't schtick.  It's me.  If some people are comfortable with the idea that they need to hide some part of themselves or the way they interact with friends that's cool.  They just shouldn't expect other people to live a lie like they do.


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## Herschel (Oct 7, 2013)

Dwimmerlied said:


> Aw man, that's very cliché. I'm seeing a co-worker, and we've been living together for 2 years now




And that's great, but it's still a heck of a risk far too often when you have other options. It's akin to getting someone's name on a tattoo. Yeah, it's great as long as you're together but with the failure rate of relationships it's a risk usually worth avoiding.


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## Umbran (Oct 7, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> ...depending on time, place and audience, of course.




Yes.  In some time, places, and audiences, it is neither crude, nor brash - it is getting work done.  Your veterinarian discussing Fluffy's sample and whether a de-wormer is needed, for instance.


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## Umbran (Oct 7, 2013)

Zombie_Babies said:


> *sigh* I suppose I'll waste my time typing up an explanation you'll refuse to listen to cuz, well, I like to hear (see) myself talk.




Ah, trying the old, "Dismiss me and my thoughts ahead of time, and make it look like it is my fault," trick.

Cliche, obvious, uninspired and unimaginative.  Your execution was weak - way too blunt, and you didn't stick the landing.  Only a 2.5 out of 5 for style, where the 0.5 comes from the self-deprecating humor bit, which is the only subtlety or art in the piece.  

Really, if you are going to risk being rude to a mod's face like that, at least make it worth the effort.  Have some self-esteem, some pride in your work, man! 



> I have done this sort of thing more times than I can remember.




Ah, now we see.  Okay, so either you have a horrible memory, or this means you have to do this sort of thing a lot.  Which means, these ladies are not sticking around much...

Consider that a moment.  You bragged about your "track record" - what kind of record is it when none of them seem to stay around, so you have to do this over and over again?  Anyone can acquire a petty, temporary dalliance.  That's no big deal.  Relationships that last, however, are a touch more difficult.  And usually don't include so much poo-talk, at least until children are part of the picture.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 7, 2013)

Umbran said:


> Ah, trying the old, "Dismiss me and my thoughts ahead of time, and make it look like it is my fault," trick.
> 
> Cliche, obvious, uninspired and unimaginative.  Your execution was weak - way too blunt, and you didn't stick the landing.  Only a 2.5 out of 5 for style, where the 0.5 comes from the self-deprecating humor bit, which is the only subtlety or art in the piece.
> 
> Really, if you are going to risk being rude to a mod's face like that, at least make it worth the effort.  Have some self-esteem, some pride in your work, man!




My tone was a direct result of yours.  Treat me better and you'll get the respect you seem to think a mod badge automatically earns you.  

That said, I'll see you're calling my 'trick' with me calling you on yours - completely ignoring what I said because of faux righteous indignation.  That respect thing?  You're not doing so hawt, ace.  Maybe that *sigh* was exactly as warranted as I said it was.





> Ah, now we see.  Okay, so either you have a horrible memory, or this means you have to do this sort of thing a lot.  Which means, these ladies are not sticking around much...




Well, if I had to do it as often as you make baseless assumptions you'd have a point.  I don't, though, so you'll need to try again.  Protip: Don't make assumptions and then base your attack on them.  Try asking questions - you know, engaging in conversation.  I could, of course, simply correct you where you're wrong here but, well, you don't deserve that courtesy right now.



> Consider that a moment.  You bragged about your "track record" - what kind of record is it when none of them seem to stay around, so you have to do this over and over again?  Anyone can acquire a petty, temporary dalliance.  That's no big deal.  Relationships that last, however, are a touch more difficult.  And usually don't include so much poo-talk, at least until children are part of the picture.




And you consider this a moment: Your entire response was based in assumptions you made about me without even attempting to see whether or not they were correct.  In a lot of cases doing something like that often leads to not only a smug sense of self-superiority but also, unfortunately, being completely wrong.  And you are.  I'll accept your apology when you're ready.  Until then, I'll answer any questions about the situation that you choose to ask.  I will not, however, give you any information without a request.  You've decided what way you want to play this game already and I refuse to play along.


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## Majoru Oakheart (Oct 8, 2013)

Dwimmerlied said:


> I agree. In fact, I think most aren't, really. Most girls I've ever met or established a relationship were obviously into aspects of me they found attractive (or worthy of friendship). None of them changed their minds when they learned I gamed or whatever, and if they did it'd be a quick ticket to (metaphorical) bootsville



I've got a long term girlfriend right now.  However, I can say that these judgmental people exist.

I once went out on a date with someone I met on OKCupid and we got along really well.  It was our second or third date that I opened up a little more to her about some of my gaming activities and told her about the fact that some friends and I traveled to a park on the border of Canada and the US(the International Peace Garden) for a weekend of camping and playing D&D once a year as a way of getting around the rules in Living Greyhawk.  The rules being that you needed to be physically located in a region to play adventures set in that region.  So we played both Ket adventures and Shieldlands adventures since we could easily cross between North Dakota and Manitoba.

We went on one more date after that and then she instant messaged me telling me that she had been thinking about that ever since I said it and that she couldn't imagine anyone who was dedicated enough to games that they'd go camping just to play games as mature enough to date.  She played Settlers of Catan all the time.  But she felt that since she only played games during her spare time and didn't go out of her way to plan a game a year in advance and travel 3 hours to get there that at least she was normal and not obsessed.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 8, 2013)

Some people really discriminate like that. Like some will say that because you do not really do anythign at work, you lack ambition and do not deserve her, even if you make four times her salary.


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## Dwimmerlied (Oct 8, 2013)

[MENTION=5143]Majoru Oakheart[/MENTION]. I had to laugh at this, what a silly thing to text  Probably turned out for the best is my guess...

My gf has a theory that guys are generally wired to invest more energy into hobbies; something to do with a primal instinct for developing survival skills. I don't know about that, but I swear she could spend hours looking at baby memes. You know, for the witty motivational statements and all....

Regarding the judgemental thing, I've been guilty of being niaeve before; Most people I've ever met aren't much like the persona they sell on the street  but like your example shows, its usually just a matter of degree, and normal is definitely subjective.


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## Dwimmerlied (Oct 8, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Some people really discriminate like that. Like some will say that because you do not really do anythign at work, you lack ambition and do not deserve her, even if you make four times her salary.




An ambituous man might look for a partner who holds him in higher esteem


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## Klirshon (Oct 8, 2013)

Perhaps if such an ambitious human isn't a masochist.


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## Majoru Oakheart (Oct 8, 2013)

Dwimmerlied said:


> [MENTION=5143]Majoru Oakheart[/MENTION]. I had to laugh at this, what a silly thing to text  Probably turned out for the best is my guess...



It was in the middle of another conversation.  But she drew a line in the sand that I was too obsessed with gaming and she couldn't continue to date someone that didn't put their time and energy into more worthwhile pursuits.  She was studying to become a doctor.  She spent most of her time studying and felt that when someone put 80% of their time into studying, volunteering, and doing "worthwhile" things that they were allowed small breaks in order to have fun.

My philosophy in life tends to be on the side of "One works in order to have enough money to do fun stuff.  The fun stuff is your life, the other stuff is simply obligation that enables the fun."  I'm not really sure our world views were compatible.  She literally could not relax for long periods of time before she felt guilty that she wasn't doing work.

She broke up with me that night and refused to budge.  We're still friends on facebook, where most of her posts are about her travels to foreign countries and the hundreds of pictures she's taken.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 8, 2013)

Dwimmerlied said:


> An ambituous man might look for a partner who holds him in higher esteem



I hate uble standards. If I'm not doing it, I won't ask it from others.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 9, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Some people really discriminate like that. Like some will say that because you do not really do anythign at work, you lack ambition and do not deserve her, even if you make four times her salary.




Savages ...


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## Kramodlog (Oct 9, 2013)

Marie, actually. And Josée. And Sophie.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 9, 2013)

goldomark said:


> Marie, actually. And Josée. And Sophie.




Heartless savage, unknown savage and hippy savage.


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## Kramodlog (Oct 9, 2013)

Indeed. The middle one is kinky savage.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 9, 2013)

Understood.  Still, savages they all be.


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## Gfreak2x9 (Jun 30, 2017)

I logged in after many years and replied to myself...

Hello!

I'm you at age 24 and I'm here to answer your questions! First and foremost try not to post these things online kiddo, you may find a 20 page thread laughing in your face when you're older. Second of all, you're 21 and complaining on EN World...this might be part of the problem! But I digress, you are young, you just turned 21 after all! Beyond your basic understanding of High School relationships, you have no clue what love even is! Let me reassure you of a few things...

You will find love! Her name is Anna and she will be the greatest blessing in your life! Honor her, love her, and never forget why you fell in love with her in the first place! She will become your best friend, and a loving partner who humbles you with her kindness. 

The people you are gaming with right now! They are not your friends, they are toxic, and they bully you. You're 21 and you don't know this... but you have serious issues pal. All those years of mental abuse from an angry stepfather... they did their number whether you deny it or not. It's okay though. You are 21, and you're able to help yourself! Go to therapy, and start to heal. You'll come out a stronger, healthier man, who is able to love as he should.

Get a better job! You do have SOME real friends and they hook you UP man! You get years of tech support and customer service experience that will boost your resume for years to come! But that's beside the point! APPLY YOURSELF! You are smarter than you think, and you can learn more than you realize! Like D&D life is what you make it! Right now you are a level 1 adult...with no idea how to do anything! Its amazing what 3 (almost 4) years can do to a man!

Learn to get over your mistakes. Everyone makes them. Many people are ashamed of them, but I encourage you to think otherwise! Realize that each and every person in this world had to make mistakes to get where they are today! Nobody woke up with $20,000,000,000 from divine intervention and simply lives happily...they earned it. And part of earning it was making those mistakes!

Finally! Posting on EN World looking for girls, bad idea! Nothing says desperate like crying alone while writing on a nerd forum! Geez! Getting a dating profile? Good idea! In fact that's how you meet Anna! Though she won't actually play D&D with you until 6/30/2017, at which point you'll long into EN World and CRINGE at your social awkwardness before stopping and thinking about how much you've grown. Then you'll post to your own thread and give some good advice to yourself and others in your situations. Even the ones you were too afraid to bring up back then!

Sincerely, yourself at age 24!


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## Eltab (Jun 30, 2017)

Post removed by author; I was reacting to OP and did not see the dates.


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## Jester David (Jul 1, 2017)

Best. Thread. Necromancy. Ever!


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## Eltab (Jul 2, 2017)

Gfreak2x9 said:


> I logged in after many years and replied to myself...



You really ought to cut-and-paste the rest of this into your OP.

So everybody can find it.


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## Azurewraith (Jul 2, 2017)

Boom! Awesome necro


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