# How do you use a butter knife?



## Bullgrit (Oct 25, 2013)

When you use a butter knife to apply something, (butter, nutella, jelly, etc.), to a slice of bread, which side of the knife do you use?

Bullgrit


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## Robin Hoodlum (Oct 25, 2013)

The side I'm not holding.


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## Ahnehnois (Oct 25, 2013)

Both, back and forth.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 25, 2013)

Curved side.  I b normal, mon.


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## EscherEnigma (Oct 25, 2013)

I only use reproductions of historical medieval daggers to spread my butter.  As such, they're edged and person-killing-sharp on both sides.


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## Bullgrit (Oct 25, 2013)

I use the curved/bladed side of the knife to spread, but I just saw a short video where a person used the flat side to spread peanut butter. It wasn't an instructional video in any way, but it did make me think, _Hmm, the flat side matches the flat surface of the bread._

Bullgrit


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## Robin Hoodlum (Oct 25, 2013)

Amazing!


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## billd91 (Oct 25, 2013)

Bullgrit said:


> I use the curved/bladed side of the knife to spread, but I just saw a short video where a person used the flat side to spread peanut butter. It wasn't an instructional video in any way, but it did make me think, _Hmm, the flat side matches the flat surface of the bread._
> 
> Bullgrit




I dig into the peanut butter or Nutella with the curved side of the knife, that's where the bulk of the material is when I put it to the bread, and so that's the size I use to spread. Doing anything else strikes me as someone overthinking their technique.


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## Nellisir (Oct 25, 2013)

Bullgrit said:


> I use the curved/bladed side of the knife to spread, but I just saw a short video where a person used the flat side to spread peanut butter. It wasn't an instructional video in any way, but it did make me think, _Hmm, the flat side matches the flat surface of the bread._
> 
> Bullgrit



The spreadable material typically isn't evenly distributed on the knife, and it is easier to manipulate the curved side into a smaller or larger spreading surface than the flat side, which typically utilizes either the entire length of the knife or just the tip.

Also, overthinking.


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## JediSoth (Oct 25, 2013)

The type of butter knife some people call a "butter knife" or the angled knife that really IS a butter knife and almost impossible for a lefty to use properly?

....stupid right-handed butter knives.


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## Morrus (Oct 25, 2013)

I was always taught that Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches. Is that true, or just a myth?


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## tuxgeo (Oct 25, 2013)

Some do, some don't. It depends on the person. 
(My mother insisted on butter on her tuna-fish sandwiches, but I use mayonnaise for that -- one example among possible millions.)


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## Kramodlog (Oct 25, 2013)

I do not butter my toasts.


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## Zombie_Babies (Oct 25, 2013)

Morrus said:


> I was always taught that Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches. Is that true, or just a myth?




Bro?  We used to eat butter sandwiches.  Being poor means some interesting cuisine.  We also, for example, used to eat cheese sandwiches which were made with past expiration white bread (sold at a discount retailer) and Reagan cheese (free from the gov't).


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## Janx (Oct 25, 2013)

Morrus said:


> I was always taught that Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches. Is that true, or just a myth?




As tux indicates, it varies. It also depends on the sandwich.  From my own observations:


For plain toast, people would use butter.

For grilled cheese sandwiches, butter goes on before you grill it. (I have seen Jelly put on top after cooking, but that's uncommon)

For peanut butter sandwiches, I've seen with/without butter.

For peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, no butter generally.

For deli meat (ex ham) and cheese, mayonaise is very common, butter almost never.

For a hamburger, mayo is common, butter only if the bun is grilled (for lightly toasting)

For a sub (subway, quiznos, Jimmy Johns) no butter in sight.


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## jonesy (Oct 25, 2013)

The blade.



JediSoth said:


> The type of butter knife some people call a "butter knife" or the angled knife that really IS a butter knife and almost impossible for a lefty to use properly?
> 
> ....stupid right-handed butter knives.



I honestly have never seen a 'right-handed' butter knife, so I don' really know what you are referring to.


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## Hand of Evil (Oct 25, 2013)

dull side/edge comes to me, sort of a spread, lift, spread, repeat, sharp edge is always away from me


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## Hand of Evil (Oct 25, 2013)

Morrus said:


> I was always taught that Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches. Is that true, or just a myth?



then how can we have grilled cheese sandwiches.


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Oct 26, 2013)

Morrus said:


> I was always taught that Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches. Is that true, or just a myth?




Mostly true.  Butter is for bread by itself, or on the outside of a grilled-cheese sandwich.  But inside a sandwich with other ingredients? Ick.  Too greasy/fatty for me.  But then again, fluffernutters are popular here, so what do I know?

As to table knives ... curved side down.  I've never figured out how to properly use that "butter" butter knife.


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## Morrus (Oct 26, 2013)

Hand of Evil said:


> then how can we have grilled cheese sandwiches.




I don't know what that phraseology translates to in term of real world objects (two Welsh Rarebits on top of each other?) but my experience in the US of you guys drenching everything in several tons of plastic melted glowing cheese-substance suggests I'd want to steer clear.


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## EscherEnigma (Oct 26, 2013)

Depends on the sandwich.  Back when I was trying to eat breakfast I would make fried egg sandwiches in which I would butter toast, later a fried egg and cheese slice, and top it with another slice of buttered toast.

Back when I was working fast food we buttered all the buns/bread for sandwiches.

But for your typical cold-cut lunch sandwich no, you will not butter it.  You'll use mayo, mustard, or something like that.


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## Morrus (Oct 26, 2013)

Janx said:


> As tux indicates, it varies. It also depends on the sandwich.  From my own observations:
> 
> 
> For plain toast, people would use butter.
> ...




Ah, it might simply be a terminology thing.  Burgers and subs aren't sandwiches in my lingo. Jelly is jam, right?  And you combine that with peanut butter?   I think the whole sandwich arena isn't just a pavement/sidewalk difference, It's a whole broad language subset which doesn't translate at all.

I just bored myself into a stupor typing that post.  Please don't interpret it as a request for fascinating American sandwich language definitions!  My interest in your sandwich terminology is probably about as interesting as yours is in mine!


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## EscherEnigma (Oct 26, 2013)

I dunno, if your sandwich terminology is full of little things I could sprinkle into my daily lingo to confuse and baffle my co-workers, it might be pretty fun.


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## JediSoth (Oct 26, 2013)

This is the kind of butter knife I'm talking about: http://m.crateandbarrel.com/couture-butter-knife/s253618


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## jonesy (Oct 26, 2013)

JediSoth said:


> This is the kind of butter knife I'm talking about: http://m.crateandbarrel.com/couture-butter-knife/s253618



If someone had shown me that without telling me what it was for I'd have had no idea.


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## Scrivener of Doom (Oct 26, 2013)

I am presently living in the Philippines.

A butter knife is used as a flathead screwdriver (the screwdriver is likely being used as a makeshift padlock).

A spoon is used for buttering bread, although weird meat-flavored mayonnaise-like substances are more popular on the odd occasions that bread is eaten. (Spoons are also used for cutting meat on your plate.)

My wife hides our knives when her family visits just in case.


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## EscherEnigma (Oct 26, 2013)

JediSoth said:


> This is the kind of butter knife I'm talking about: http://m.crateandbarrel.com/couture-butter-knife/s253618




Oh!  I think I have one of those in the back of my silverware drawer.  I have never used it.  I just cart it from house to house, wash it when I first move in and put in the silverware drawer, where it gathers dust and regrets.  The butterknives I use when I'm not using daggers are: http://images2.makefive.com/images/...d-be-your-weapon-of-choice/butter-knife-7.jpg


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Oct 26, 2013)

Morrus said:


> Ah, it might simply be a terminology thing.  Burgers and subs aren't sandwiches in my lingo. Jelly is jam, right?  And you combine that with peanut butter?   I think the whole sandwich arena isn't just a pavement/sidewalk difference, It's a whole broad language subset which doesn't translate at all.




I'll respond if only to give you a post to help you get to sleep at night.

While we'd probably all agree that a sandwich could technically be "any food crammed between two bits of bread", most Americans treat burgers (anything with a large meat patty or chicken breast, rather than thinly sliced or chopped meat) as a separate category of food.

Some sandwiches get categorized by the type of bread they're on, so the "long roll" sandwiches are examples (known regionally as subs, torpedoes, hoagies, or grinders).  But then there's buns, rolls, flatbread, pita, slices of various loaves....  One think I've found separates the UK sandwiches I've had from US is we tend to put more stuff, especially vegetables, on ours.  A UK cook prepping sandwiches for our unit would slap two slices of bologna between two buttered slices of bread, which caused a revolt until we got him to grok that we preferred may and mustard to butter, and expected lettuce and tomato in addition to meat.

Jelly is a variety of jam, as is preserves.  The lingo is usually used interchangeably, though I think there is supposed to be a difference in the amount of real fruit parts versus the gellatin portion, with jelly (least real fruit)<jam<preserves (most real fruit).  Marmelade fits in there somewhere.

Oh, heck, I've even bored myself.  If you're just dying for more.


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## Bagpuss (Oct 27, 2013)

JediSoth said:


> This is the kind of butter knife I'm talking about: http://m.crateandbarrel.com/couture-butter-knife/s253618




Erm... But that is a Fish Knife... No wonder you are having trouble. A butter knife has less of a curve than a normal knife in so cases none almost like a palette knife.


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## Janx (Oct 27, 2013)

JediSoth said:


> This is the kind of butter knife I'm talking about: http://m.crateandbarrel.com/couture-butter-knife/s253618




I always thought that was a canape knife. Which i got no clue what its for. The knife i think most of us call a butter knife and tend to have in equal number to spoons and forks in the drawer looks like this:
http://www.knife-depot.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/butter-knife.jpg

I'm sorry morrus is all bored by this topic, i am finding it entertaining and educational.  I suspect many of us are on the cusp of learning. What that funny knife is for, and discovering more to the invention of that famous Earl.


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## Janx (Oct 27, 2013)

Morrus said:


> I don't know what that phraseology translates to in term of real world objects (two Welsh Rarebits on top of each other?) but my experience in the US of you guys drenching everything in several tons of plastic melted glowing cheese-substance suggests I'd want to steer clear.




Thats cheezwhiz or velveeta. It aint right.  The closest place to acceptability is that apparently some Philedelphians consider cheezewhiz the proper cheese for a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich.

I have not yet been able to eat an authentic Philly Cheesesteak from Philedelphia to confirm this or not.

Outside of this, any other use of cheesewhiz is or velveeta is considered a crime against humanity per the Wisconsin Accords of 1915.


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## sabrinathecat (Oct 27, 2013)

I use a spoon for nuttela, peanut butter, or jam, a hot steak knife for hard butter, and a spatula for soft butter.
I use butter knives as screwdrivers.


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## frankthedm (Oct 27, 2013)

Morrus said:


> I was always taught that Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches. Is that true, or just a myth?



Butter / margarine on a hot cheese sandwich, but not much else. It might sneak in there when i'm building a multi decker Shaggy Sandwich though.


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## Scott DeWar (Oct 27, 2013)

Grilled cheese or ham and cheese requires butter, as does grilled bacon and cheese, roast beef and cheese and . . . . .


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## sabrinathecat (Oct 28, 2013)

Morrus said:


> I was always taught that Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches. Is that true, or just a myth?




I don't know about all "Americans", but I hate butter on sandwiches almost as much as I do mayonnaise. YUCK! Butter is for baking, cooking or melting on something hot.


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## Jhaelen (Oct 28, 2013)

I always use cream cheese, oh, and I do use the flat side of the knife! Oh, and I'm a left-handed vegetarian in case that matters.


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## Nellisir (Oct 28, 2013)

Butter goes on the outside of a grilled sandwich (usually - my family didn't bother, but my wife's does). Morrus - a grilled cheese sandwich is cheese between two slices of bread, then you grill it & melt the cheese.  It's often done with American cheese, but it doesn't have to be.  American does melt very smoothly, though.  I prefer cheddar. A grilled cheese with tuna or ham is pretty common as well.


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## Janx (Oct 28, 2013)

Nellisir said:


> Butter goes on the outside of a grilled sandwich (usually - my family didn't bother, but my wife's does). Morrus - a grilled cheese sandwich is cheese between two slices of bread, then you grill it & melt the cheese.  It's often done with American cheese, but it doesn't have to be.  American does melt very smoothly, though.  I prefer cheddar. A grilled cheese with tuna or ham is pretty common as well.




that's because American Cheese isn't cheese.  it's a processed thing like Velveeta.

I'm married to a Wisconite.  they know their cheeses (though they insist all real cheese comes from Wisconsin, which seems improbable).


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## Morrus (Oct 28, 2013)

Janx said:


> that's because American Cheese isn't cheese.  it's a processed thing like Velveeta.
> 
> I'm married to a Wisconite.  they know their cheeses (though they insist all real cheese comes from Wisconsin, which seems improbable).




Nah, they come from Cheddar!


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## Nellisir (Oct 28, 2013)

Janx said:


> that's because American Cheese isn't cheese.  it's a processed thing like Velveeta.
> 
> I'm married to a Wisconite.  they know their cheeses (though they insist all real cheese comes from Wisconsin, which seems improbable).



I'm from New Hampshire.  As much as I'm loathe to admit it, proper US cheddar comes from Cabot, Vermont.  (I'm willing to concede that I have not tried Cheddar cheddar.)  All the Wisconsin stuff we get back here is plastic wrapped mass-produced orange stuff.

WTF is up with that orange coloring, anyways?  My wife keeps buying orange "cheddar", and I keep telling her it's the wrong color. (She grew up in Thailand, so proper cheese is a bit foreign to her.  And I don't eat fish ball soup, so....)


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## Scrivener of Doom (Oct 28, 2013)

Nellisir said:


> (snip) WTF is up with that orange coloring, anyways?  My wife keeps buying orange "cheddar", and I keep telling her it's the wrong color. (She grew up in Thailand, so proper cheese is a bit foreign to her.  And I don't eat fish ball soup, so....)




My wife is from the Philippines. It took a while to prove to her that cheese is not a liquid. 

(Fish ball soup? That's not so bad. One of the local delicacies here is a duck foetus in its egg eaten out of its shell.)


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## Nellisir (Oct 28, 2013)

Scrivener of Doom said:


> (Fish ball soup? That's not so bad. One of the local delicacies here is a duck foetus in its egg eaten out of its shell.)




It's the smell. I like fish, but fish ball soup is just...too much.


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## Janx (Oct 29, 2013)

Nellisir said:


> I'm from New Hampshire.  As much as I'm loathe to admit it, proper US cheddar comes from Cabot, Vermont.  (I'm willing to concede that I have not tried Cheddar cheddar.)  All the Wisconsin stuff we get back here is plastic wrapped mass-produced orange stuff.
> 
> WTF is up with that orange coloring, anyways?  My wife keeps buying orange "cheddar", and I keep telling her it's the wrong color. (She grew up in Thailand, so proper cheese is a bit foreign to her.  And I don't eat fish ball soup, so....)




Keep in mind, I am not a cheese expert myself, and am likely misinformed as the Wisconite cult strongly protects the inner secrets of the Wheel of Cheese.

cheese labeled American Cheese isn't cheddar per se.  It's funky processed material.

As for cheddar not being orange, that's news to me.  though not all cheddars are orange.  I suspect it might be a coloring the Wisconites induce to brainwash us into thinking only real cheese is orange.

Or I could be wrong.


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Oct 29, 2013)

Mmmm ... good white cheddar.

- Olgar "Cheddar Monk" Shiverstone


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## Bagpuss (Oct 29, 2013)

JediSoth said:


> The type of butter knife some people call a "butter knife" or the angled knife that really IS a butter knife and almost impossible for a lefty to use properly?
> 
> ....stupid right-handed butter knives.




As I mentioned before they are fish knives.... and they make left handed ones for people like you.

http://www.anythinglefthanded.co.uk/acatalog/fish_knife.html


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## Janx (Oct 29, 2013)

Bagpuss said:


> As I mentioned before they are fish knives.... and they make left handed ones for people like you.
> 
> http://www.anythinglefthanded.co.uk/acatalog/fish_knife.html




But what is it for?


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## Morrus (Oct 29, 2013)

Butter knife:




Fish knife:





Janx said:


> But what is it for?




Eating fish.

Not commonly, though.  People usually just use regular dinner knives.


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## Janx (Oct 29, 2013)

Morrus said:


> Butter knife:
> 
> Eating fish.
> 
> Not commonly, though.  People usually just use regular dinner knives.




I'm certain I've got those in the big box of silverware we got as a wedding present.  As in, not presently deployed to the silverware drawer of things we (or anybody else) actually uses.

I guess I've learned something new, which to me, is the point of these kind of threads.

I'd ask how one uses such a knife, but the reality is, I don't like fish, so the more wrongly I can eat it when forced to, the more likely others will not seek to force it upon me


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## Nellisir (Oct 29, 2013)

Morrus said:


> Fish knife:
> 
> View attachment 59399



I learned something new today.


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## sabrinathecat (Oct 30, 2013)

I had to laugh (to myself) when someone complained their paneer naan wasn't properly done, because the cheese wasn't melted. (Paneer doesn't melt).


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## tomBitonti (Oct 30, 2013)

Since we are into details ... Jam, Jelly, and Preserves are different:

http://recipes.howstuffworks.com/question84.htm



> Jelly, jam and preserves are all made from fruit mixed with sugar and pectin. The difference between them comes in the form that the fruit takes.
> 
> In jelly, the fruit comes in the form of fruit juice.
> 
> ...




Jellies are usually clear / transparent, with no obvious fruit bits, while jams usually have quite a bit of fruit "flesh" in them and are more paste-like.

Thx!

TomB


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 30, 2013)

Going back to butter & cheese...

1) I'm an American and I like butter on certain sandwiches, usually those that are grilled or on toasted bread.  One _spectacular_ sandwich I had in Moscow was buttered (non-toasted) pumpernickel with cilantro and smoked salmon.  That was it.

2) grilled cheese: while Velveeta or American cheese tend to be the norm, they're not the only ones I use.  A nice Gouda- especially a smoked one- makes for a pleasurable experience.  I have also mixed cheddar with parrano and swiss.  Butterkäse makes for an interesting change of pace as well.  And a place near my house makes what they call their "BLT"- a grilled Brie, lettuce and tomato sandwich.


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## tomBitonti (Oct 30, 2013)

To say, while as an American, I never put butter on sandwiches, I did find _Jambon-beurre_ (ham with butter on a baguette) to be quite amazingly good:

http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jambon-beurre

The page describes this as the "most consumed food in France"!

Thx!

TomB


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## billd91 (Oct 30, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> 2) grilled cheese: while Velveeta or American cheese tend to be the norm, they're not the only ones I use.  A nice Gouda- especially a smoked one- makes for a pleasurable experience.  I have also mixed cheddar with parrano and swiss.  Butterkäse makes for an interesting change of pace as well.  And a place near my house makes what they call their "BLT"- a grilled Brie, lettuce and tomato sandwich.




Smoked Gouda also makes for a fantastic macaroni and cheese.


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## billd91 (Oct 30, 2013)

Janx said:


> As for cheddar not being orange, that's news to me.  though not all cheddars are orange.  I suspect it might be a coloring the Wisconites induce to brainwash us into thinking only real cheese is orange.
> 
> Or I could be wrong.




You can't blame us for introducing orange Cheddar. That's been going on, apparently, since the 1860s in the UK.

You can blame us for making orange Colby cheese... but then, we're responsible for Colby cheese in general.


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## Morrus (Oct 30, 2013)

Red Leicester is orange. I don't ever recall seeing orange Cheddar


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## Janx (Oct 30, 2013)

Morrus said:


> Red Leicester is orange. I don't ever recall seeing orange Cheddar




Wisconsin apparently invented orange Cheddar (per billd91 who was kind enough to break his oath of silence from the Order of the Wheel of Cheese).


Side note: Wisconsin takes its dairy, butter and cheese heritage VERY seriously.  When margarine was invented, they apparently passed a law requiring butter to be served at every meal in restaurants, in order to promote their own product in the state.

Side Side Note: Minnesota (where i am from) is also a dairy making state, but like our football team, we don't take it as seriously as the Wisconites do.  As such, we are prone to using Wisconsin as the butt of many jokes.

Also, just to be clear, "American Cheese" to us Americans refers to a specific "bland" cheese product, usually served in slices for sandwiches (ala Kraft Cheese slices).  The term would be inappropriate to use to refer to all cheese made in America (per the states that are VERY proud of their cheese making heritage and don't want their product associated with the specific product called "American Cheese"

I can't say if these places in America make cheese that is as highly regarded as european cheeses (which also often include their place of origin in the product name), but the people making them are proud of their heritage and have probably been making these cheese flavors since before their respective state was admitted to the union (meaning some of these cheese lines are older than what we consider Antique furniture).


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## Storminator (Oct 30, 2013)

Scott DeWar said:


> Grilled cheese or ham and cheese requires butter, as does grilled bacon and cheese, roast beef and cheese and . . . . .




I typically use mayonnaise or bacon grease instead of butter. 

PS


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## jonesy (Oct 30, 2013)

I don't understand mayonnaise. It doesn't taste like anything to me. It just creates a creamy surface texture. If someone offers me food that already has it I don't mind. But I'd never use it myself. And no, I've never tried american mayo, so maybe that's something different. Over here they sometimes sell it with different added flavours, which just makes it weirder since then I could just use the foodstuffs that normally have that flavour instead. Like, wasabi mayo? Why not just use wasabi?


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## Quartz (Oct 30, 2013)

Bullgrit said:


> When you use a butter knife to apply something, (butter, nutella, jelly, etc.), to a slice of bread, which side of the knife do you use?




Neither. I use the butter knife to cut the butter and transfer some of it to my side plate. I then use my knife to butter my bread or toast. Jelly, marmalade, etc are handled similarly but with a spoon.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 30, 2013)

billd91 said:


> Smoked Gouda also makes for a fantastic macaroni and cheese.




Yes it does.

FWIW, I have a drawer in my fridge filled with @$80-100 worth of cheeses of various kinds (though I segregate the American cheese to a separate part of the fridge).

You could say that...I believe in cheeses.  Cheeses are just alright with me.  I have accepted cheeses as my personal savor.

You could say that, but probably shouldn't.


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Oct 30, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> You could say that...I believe in cheeses.  Cheeses are just alright with me.  I have accepted cheeses as my personal savor.




Yes, but does cheese believe in you?  

And do you have a cheese knife?


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## Morrus (Oct 30, 2013)

Janx said:


> Also, just to be clear, "American Cheese" to us Americans refers to a specific "bland" cheese product, usually served in slices for sandwiches (ala Kraft Cheese slices).  The term would be inappropriate to use to refer to all cheese made in America




I did not know that. You learn something new every day!


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 30, 2013)

Olgar Shiverstone said:


> Yes, but does cheese believe in you?




You'd have to ask the Great Fromagier in the Sky.



> And do you have a cheese knife?





Yes...more than one.  And a couple of cheese boards- one domed.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 30, 2013)

Here's one: instead of cream cheese, try garlic herbed D'Affinois Brie on your bagels, especially with lox, red onion, and black pepper.  _Awe_some!


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Oct 30, 2013)

Janx said:


> Also, just to be clear, "American Cheese" to us Americans refers to a specific "bland" cheese product, usually served in slices for sandwiches (ala Kraft Cheese slices).  The term would be inappropriate to use to refer to all cheese made in America (per the states that are VERY proud of their cheese making heritage and don't want their product associated with the specific product called "American Cheese"




Heck, because of said cheese "product", it's inappropriate to use the term "American Cheese" to refer to _any_ cheese made in America.


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## jonesy (Oct 30, 2013)




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## Nellisir (Oct 30, 2013)

Olgar Shiverstone said:


> Heck, because of said cheese "product", it's inappropriate to use the term "American Cheese" to refer to _any_ cheese made in America.



According to wikipedia, it's sold in the UK as "cheese slices" or "singles.


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Oct 31, 2013)

jonesy said:


>




Great.  Now I want cheese.  Curse you jonesy!


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 31, 2013)

Mmm...queso hungry
Mmm...queso hungry
Mmm...queso hungry

Me like it long time.


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## Quartz (Oct 31, 2013)

jonesy said:


>




Drool...


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 31, 2013)

"The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, fromage to fromage, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different."

_~Aldous Huxley, in a cheese shop_

“Memory haunts me fromage to fromage, and passion leads me by the hand--nibbles have I done, and with sorrow have I made acquaintance fromage to fromage, and fromage to fromage nibbles shall I do, and sorrow shall I know till my seltzer water comes.”


_~ H. Rider Haggard, Cheese_


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## Morrus (Oct 31, 2013)

[video=youtube;PPN3KTtrnZM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPN3KTtrnZM[/video]


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 31, 2013)

I have tried all but 5 mentioned in that skit, and I'm not sure that a food called beaver cheese actually exists.


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## Scott DeWar (Oct 31, 2013)

Nice hat he had in the end of that skit . . ."As you can tell, I am not from these parts" - John Cleese as sheriff Langston in Silveraodo


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 31, 2013)

Odd coincidence- while reading this thread, my TV started putting out noises by this band:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Butter_the_Bread_with_Butter


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## Scott DeWar (Oct 31, 2013)

funny, it says thy started as a joke, bet went full band any way.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 31, 2013)

Did you see the part about the tribute band, I Can't Believe It's Not We Butter The Bread With Butter?


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## Scott DeWar (Oct 31, 2013)

yup, goofy. huh!?


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## Quartz (Nov 1, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Here's one: instead of cream cheese, try garlic herbed D'Affinois Brie on your bagels, especially with *lox*, red onion, and black pepper.




WTF are you doing using liquid oxygen?


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## Olgar Shiverstone (Nov 1, 2013)

Quartz said:


> WTF are you doing using liquid oxygen?




NASA uses bagels and lox to send up its satellites.  They are an important part of a balanced launch.


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## Zombie_Babies (Nov 1, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> I have tried all but 5 mentioned in that skit, and I'm not sure that a food called beaver cheese actually exists.




I think it does.  It just may be better known by some medical term.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Nov 1, 2013)

Note the word "food"...


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## Dannyalcatraz (Nov 1, 2013)

Quartz said:


> WTF are you doing using liquid oxygen?




I come from a high-G world, where it is used as a condiment.


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## Zombie_Babies (Nov 1, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Note the word "food"...




I did.


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## Umbran (Nov 1, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Note the word "food"...




Dude, you were talking about brie earlier.  That's not food.

Funk belongs on a dance floor, not in a cheese.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Nov 1, 2013)

Funk belongs wherever it may be.


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## Robin Hoodlum (Nov 1, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Funk belongs wherever it may be.




It's true.
Just ask George Clinton.


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## Umbran (Nov 1, 2013)

George Clinton does not belong in cheese, either.


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## Zombie_Babies (Nov 1, 2013)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Funk belongs wherever it may be.




That may be the most agreeable thing I've ever seen posted here.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Nov 1, 2013)

Umbran said:


> George Clinton does not belong in cheese, either.




You may have a point there- nothing about the man is cheesy.


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## Scott DeWar (Nov 1, 2013)

Lets see. Where were we? 'butter and butter knives: top or bottom?' right?


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## Dannyalcatraz (Nov 1, 2013)

Use the handle!  Use the handle!


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## Scott DeWar (Nov 2, 2013)

I do use the handle . . . . . to hold the knife.


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