# *I thought* The universe *was* playing tricks on me.



## Angcuru (Jun 5, 2004)

So I am finally nearly just about 'over' this girl I've been in love with for over a year, but by circumstance and lack of courage never got to tell her.  And then guess who I should meet by the vending machines during my 5 minute break during my night class on Wednesday, with only enough time to say a shocked "HI!" before she had to go back to her class?

The universe is toying with me, I just know it.  At least I have 13 more classes at the same time and place (but not room) as she does, so my chances of seeing her again are there, but not great.  But won't it just be so horribly sucking if that's all I see of her?

Jeez, it's like being _almost_ done quitting drinking, and then by complete accident getting a drink and then the world's supply of alcohol may or may not go dry.  Or some similar thingy.  Meh.


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## dreaded_beast (Jun 5, 2004)

At least your not in love with your next-door-neighbor, like I was.

Ahh, the sweet pain of high-school, hehe.


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## Angcuru (Jun 6, 2004)

dreaded_beast said:
			
		

> At least your not in love with your next-door-neighbor, like I was.
> 
> Ahh, the sweet pain of high-school, hehe.



Ah, the overly-done semi-drama ickiness that was high school.  Don't miss that part one bit, just the people.  Well...most of them.


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## Ashwyn (Jun 6, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> So I am finally nearly just about 'over' this girl I've been in love with for over a year, but by circumstance and lack of courage never got to tell her.



I've been in love with someone for over a year too, but I told her. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, as they say. I doubt I'll ever be over her, and it kinda sucks, but hey, they're my feelings and I'd not give them up even though they hurt me sometimes. I don't need her to love me, it'd be nice, but what I want is for her to be happy, and help her reach that goal however I can. No matter what happens, I still have my feelings for her, and that can be enough. So don't worry, it can and will pass, and you can get through it. Or maybe circumstances will arise that allow the two of you to be together. You never know. Stay strong.


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## Krieg (Jun 7, 2004)

Ask her out. You have absolutely nothing to lose and you'll regret it in 20 years if you don't.

If she turns you down, that's fine as it will finally allow you to get on with your life.

If she says yes....


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## Mog Elffoe (Jun 7, 2004)

That does suck.  I'm in a pretty similar boat, aside from the fact that I actually got to date mine for a couple of weeks, and that she sits *right next to me* at work.


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## Mystery Man (Jun 7, 2004)

*Carpe Diem *bro*.* Man up Angcuru, find this girl and ask her out! Chance and circumstance preventing you be damned! All she can do is say no, then you know and can move on.

I have no idea what its like now-a-days since I've been married for 10 years this August but when I was young_er_ and single if the young lady didnt have a ring on her finger and wasn't going out with one of my friends she was fair game. 

You never no until you know. You know?

Heh, I remember if one of us was shy about asking a girl the rest of the guys would get the shy one worked up like Celts before a battle. There's nothing more poetic than the steely eyed determination of a man.......

I'll say no more, starting to get wistful. 

Don't reply with excuses as to why not, matter of fact don't reply until you have an answer from this woman! 

Now get out there! Seek and destroy! You're an animal! Nothing can stand in your way! Go, go, gooooooooo! 

_Edit: Just talked to the wife, it'll be *nine* years. It just *feels* like 10. _


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## the Jester (Jun 7, 2004)

I have found that it's remarkably easy to gate a date with someone if you ask, but remarkably difficult if you don't.

Asking isn't a sure bet, but the odds are on your side.  Most girls- if they aren't total grumble mumble- are willing to give most anyone a chance to show that they're worthwhile.


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## Angcuru (Jun 7, 2004)

Hell, I know the madness that comes when you don't ask, I've been going through it for almost a year.  I've been trying to get in touch with her, but had absolutely no way of contacting her.  

Actually, there was a party on Saturday I went to, just a calm friendly get-together (not counting that couple that broke up right in the middle, but that's beside the point), where there was supposed to be a surprise for me i.e. her showing up.  My friends got in touch with her through some miracle, but she had prior unbreakable engagements or something.  And my friends won't give me her phone #, as they want our meeting to be a surprise for her, and they know that I'll just get all nervous and mess up if I'm the one doing the talking.  Hate to say it, but they're right about that part.     So chances are good that I'll get to see her sooner or later.  Preferrably sooner.  

Hmm... if they want it to be a surprise for _her_, then maybe that means...  .


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## Krieg (Jun 7, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> Hmm... if they want it to be a surprise for _her_, then maybe that means...  .






...and remember:
1. Eliminate your desire. 
2. Be excellent in her presence.
3. Withdraw.


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## Teflon Billy (Jun 7, 2004)

Krieg said:
			
		

> ...and remember:
> 1. Eliminate your desire.
> 2. Be excellent in her presence.
> 3. Withdraw.




_The Dao of Steve_ works like magic. 

People always berate me for this next bit, but I guarantee that it is positively golden advice...

"Kind of act like a jerk toward her"

Add that to the Dao of Steve and you are _there_!


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## MerakSpielman (Jun 7, 2004)

You have, essentially, 3 choices.

1) Continue doing what you're doing. (safe but lame-o)

2) Ask her out. (risky, but oh, the possible benefits!)

3) Get over her and move on. (safe)


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## Angcuru (Jun 8, 2004)

> 1) Continue doing what you're doing. (safe but lame-o)



I'm not in this position because I _want_ to be.   



> 3. Withdraw.



What exactly to you mean by that?


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## Krieg (Jun 8, 2004)

> _Withdraw_






			
				Angcuru said:
			
		

> What exactly to you mean by that?




We pursue that which flees from us.

In short, let her chase you a bit.


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## Mog Elffoe (Jun 8, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> I'm not in this position because I _want_ to be.
> 
> 
> What exactly to you mean by that?




You ever see that episode of _Seinfeld_ where George decides he's always going to leave on a high note?  That's what 'be excellent in her presence and withdraw' means.  Be cool, then split, leaving her wanting more.  Leave on that high note.

_Tao Of Steve_ should be seen by every guy.


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (Jun 8, 2004)

Dang, and I thought I was the only guy who saw that particular movie...

 A bit of warning though - after awhile you won't be able to withdraw.  Then you'll have to be excellent all the time, or just excellent enough that she's willing to hang around a bit until the next time your excellence meter replenishes.  So don't blow all of your excellence all at once.

 And no, Grandma Noah, none of the was double entendre.  Get your mind out of the gutter.


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## dreaded_beast (Jun 8, 2004)

Krieg said:
			
		

> 1. Eliminate your desire.
> 2. Be excellent in her presence.
> 3. Withdraw.




Be careful though. Sometimes the person in question is more happy with "withdraw" than with anything else.  

"Be excellent in her presence" is sometimes relative.

I've seen guys go up to women and think that they were "excellent" and then "withdraw", only to hear the women afterwards be grateful that those guys left.

A woman being cordial doesn't necessarily mean she's into you.
(But how much easier life would be if it were true. )


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## blackshirt5 (Jun 8, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> So I am finally nearly just about 'over' this girl I've been in love with for over a year, but by circumstance and lack of courage never got to tell her.  And then guess who I should meet by the vending machines during my 5 minute break during my night class on Wednesday, with only enough time to say a shocked "HI!" before she had to go back to her class?
> 
> The universe is toying with me, I just know it.  At least I have 13 more classes at the same time and place (but not room) as she does, so my chances of seeing her again are there, but not great.  But won't it just be so horribly sucking if that's all I see of her?
> 
> Jeez, it's like being _almost_ done quitting drinking, and then by complete accident getting a drink and then the world's supply of alcohol may or may not go dry.  Or some similar thingy.  Meh.



 How would you know?  You've never drank!  

Eh, you should already know my advice on this Jeremy; ask her out.  It can't hurt.  Well, it can; but it'll hurt more if you don't.

Carpe Canus!


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## Angcuru (Jun 8, 2004)

blackshirt5 said:
			
		

> Eh, you should already know my advice on this Jeremy; ask her out.



I thought I had made it clear that I plan to, it's just the weeee obstacle of not being able to contact her for the moment.  :\


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## blackshirt5 (Jun 8, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> I thought I had made it clear that I plan to, it's just the weeee obstacle of not being able to contact her for the moment.  :\



 My bad; I wrote that reply out after reading the first post.

Besides, someone mentioned going Celt and getting you pumped, figured I'd contribute.  That, and I wanted to be able to say "Carpe Canus!" today.


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## Krieg (Jun 8, 2004)

dreaded_beast said:
			
		

> Be careful though. Sometimes the person in question is more happy with "withdraw" than with anything else.
> 
> "Be excellent in her presence" is sometimes relative.
> 
> ...




True, but those type of guys wouldn't get it anyways. 

There's a distinct line between showing yourself in a positive light & showing off.


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## RangerWickett (Jun 8, 2004)

blackshirt5 said:
			
		

> My bad; I wrote that reply out after reading the first post.
> 
> Besides, someone mentioned going Celt and getting you pumped, figured I'd contribute.  That, and I wanted to be able to say "Carpe Canus!" today.




Carpe Canus?  "Can, Seize!"?  Or were you trying to say "Dog, Seize!" (Canis, Carpe)?  Or perhaps "Seize the Dog" (Carpe Canem)?  Or is Canus a plural fourth declension noun accusative euphemism for something?


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## blackshirt5 (Jun 9, 2004)

RangerWickett said:
			
		

> Carpe Canus?  "Can, Seize!"?  Or were you trying to say "Dog, Seize!" (Canis, Carpe)?  Or perhaps "Seize the Dog" (Carpe Canem)?  Or is Canus a plural fourth declension noun accusative euphemism for something?



 My bad.  Carpe Canem.  Seize the Dog!

Funny to me because Angcuru is frightened of dogs IRL; just as he is of talking to women(aren't we all, a bit?).


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## Angcuru (Jun 9, 2004)

I ain't frightened of dogs or women!  Dogs are slobbering, nosy, noisy loud, and annoying, I just don't like 'em.

Hey, I'm not frightened of talking to women, I do it all the time.  I just have trouble with this one, in the sense that you can't talk to someone you can't contact.


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## Angcuru (Jun 10, 2004)

Well, some good events for once.    I saw her at college tonight, got her number, called her up, the whole deal.  Now if only the conversation had lasted longer than 2 minutes.     On the plus side, she said that once she gets back from a friend's birthday party in Pennsylvania, she'd like to hang out and talk.    

I'm actually smiling for the first time in about a year.


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## Ashwyn (Jun 10, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> Well, some good events for once.    I saw her at college tonight, got her number, called her up, the whole deal.  Now if only the conversation had lasted longer than 2 minutes.     On the plus side, she said that once she gets back from a friend's birthday party in Pennsylvania, she'd like to hang out and talk.
> 
> I'm actually smiling for the first time in about a year.



Cool! Congratulations, man. I'm glad things worked out that way for you.


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## blackshirt5 (Jun 10, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> I ain't frightened of dogs or women!  Dogs are slobbering, nosy, noisy loud, and annoying, I just don't like 'em.
> 
> Hey, I'm not frightened of talking to women, I do it all the time.  I just have trouble with this one, in the sense that you can't talk to someone you can't contact.



 No dude, that was FEAR in your eyes when my puppy tried to climb on your lap! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously though, congrats.  Now if we could just get Chris a girl, and if I could actually find a decent one, we'd all be set in the group...Steve and Ron are on their own.


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## Mystery Man (Jun 10, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> On the plus side, she said that once she gets back from a friend's birthday party in Pennsylvania, she'd like to hang out and talk.
> 
> I'm actually smiling for the first time in about a year.



He's _money_ and he didn't even know it!


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## Angcuru (Jun 10, 2004)

Well, it's a nice change, but nothing is certain....yet.


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## dreaded_beast (Jun 10, 2004)

Congratulations!

I hope all goes well for you.


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## blackshirt5 (Jun 10, 2004)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> Well, some good events for once.    I saw her at college tonight, got her number, called her up, the whole deal.  Now if only the conversation had lasted longer than 2 minutes.     On the plus side, she said that once she gets back from a friend's birthday party in Pennsylvania, she'd like to hang out and talk.
> 
> I'm actually smiling for the first time in about a year.




Oops; forgot to congratulate you on that before.  Hopefully it leads to something meaningful for ya dude.

Dog hater.


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