# D&D pick up lines



## Eternalknight (Jul 13, 2002)

Over on the official forums is a thread of pick up lines; just thought I'd get a thread statred here to see what we can come up with!

1)  I'm a wizard with access to the Enlarge spell.

2) (Paladin to hot looking injured girl) Would you like me to lay my hands on you?

3) Did it hurt when you fell from Celestia?

4) You'll be screaming out all the god's names by the time I'm finished.

Your turn


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## Furn_Darkside (Jul 13, 2002)

5) Did I mention I have the feat Skill Focus (perform)?


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## rounser (Jul 13, 2002)

6) Is your name Vecna? "Why?" Because if I have your eye, I want your hand in marriage...


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## Furn_Darkside (Jul 13, 2002)

7) Honey, you look like you like the bad boys. Well, I am Chaotic Evil to the core!


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## I'm A Banana (Jul 13, 2002)

For Barbarians:
"If you want it to last longer, I can rage..."

For Bards:
"I was in a boy  band..."

For Clerics:
"Behold the glory of my god!"

For Druids:
"Can I sniff your butt?"

For Fighters:
"I shall smite your heart with my greatsword!"

For Monks:
"I have improved unarmed stroke!"

For Paladins:
"I shall redeem you...tonight...at my place..."

For Rangers:
"I'll give YOU the shaft!"

For Rogues:
"I think I caught her flat-footed..."

For Sorcerers:
"Hey, baby, I'm *all* Charisma!"

For Wizards:
"My staff has a knob on the top."

For Dwarves:
"My beard is the best in thirty clans!"

For Elves:
"My mascara is the prettiest in thirty forests!"

For Gnomes:
"I'm not *just* a tinkerer..."

For Halflings:
"I believe I have something of yours: your heart."

there's a few of dubious quality.


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

23 wanna come back to my place and slip into something with a lower armor class?

 24 no line required when you have "leomund's secure bachelor pad of grooviness"


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

26 "it's called an intelligent mount for a reason"

 27 "it's awakened!"

 28 "is the a double headed orcish war-axe, or are you just happy to see me?"


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

25 (cause i skipped it) "let's get elemental!"


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## CWD (Jul 13, 2002)

30.  Can you Sense my Motive?
31.  Innuendo?  How about innufronto?


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

31 sorcerer with high cha rolls good bluff, avoiding need to roleplay a slick line, and getting the girl/guy anyway


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## Bran Blackbyrd (Jul 13, 2002)

32: I'm a fire genasi, that burning sensation is completely normal.

A little off-topic, but sort of relevant. I said this in the chatroom last night.

So I go on this date tonight, and I'm like, "C'mon, just touch it.", and she says, "No, my parents said I couldn't do it as long as I live under their roof.", And I'm like, "Just roll it around a little.", and she says, "It's against my religion.", but I finally wore her down. 

It's like I told her, "Once you roll a 20-sider you'll never go back to regular dice."


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## Conservative Cow (Jul 13, 2002)

33) My helmet isn't the only thing thats hard


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## Femerus the Gnecro (Jul 13, 2002)

*heh... great thread*

Rogue:  wanna see my extendable pole?

Ranger:  when I'm naked, I can use both hands at the same time!

Monk:  I'll give you a stunning blow

Druid:  Watch this... partial wild shape!

Barbarian:  Baby?  No baby!  Sperm have evasion!

Fighter:  I'll show you what 'weapon specialization' really means

Wizard:  So... I hear you're into domination?

Cleric:  I am the favored of the gods... really

Sorceror:  I may not have much variety, but I can keep going all day!

Bard:  Courage isn't the only thing I can 'insprire'

-F


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

34 "i am bob, i am a fighter, this my friend heckurn, he is a dwarven rogue. he introduced me to elsisrathera the elven mage and then he introduced us to kubrersa the cleric, and baby we do everyhting together...."


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## Heap Thaumaturgist (Jul 13, 2002)

--  So, like, are you free on Sunday night, cuz I've sort of got a game on Friday, and Saturday night is WW LARP ...

--  So, like, if I had a friend who was, y'know, interested in you, like, he really thinks you're cute, and, um, he looked sort of like me, y'know, and he wanted to ask you out, what would you say?

--  Y'know, I'm the Dungeon Master of my group and, uh, if you'd like to play I could really hook you up with some cool stuff.  Y'know, cuz you're so pretty and all.

--  Will you slap me if I ask you to sleep with me?

Ohhh ... you didn't mean D&Der pick up lines.

--HT


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## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Jul 13, 2002)

alsih2o said:
			
		

> *23 wanna come back to my place and slip into something with a lower armor class?
> 
> 24 no line required when you have "leomund's secure bachelor pad of grooviness" *




I love it! 

leomund's secure bachelor pad of grooviness

caused me to finally register to use these boards just so I could tell you that...  

Thanks for the chuckle!

: )  

BFG


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

oh, my god! i don't know whether to be flattered and blush or be shamed because i have drawn another into the addictive spell of the enmessage board...eh, i'll go with flattered 

  welcome aboard bigfreakingoblinoid, it is a nice place to be!


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## Jack Haggerty (Jul 13, 2002)

Something Positive


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

"burns like hygiene"...i think i am gonna lose bladder control that's so funny!!!  great funny jack!


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## Jack Haggerty (Jul 13, 2002)

Something Positive


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## alsih2o (Jul 13, 2002)

critical fumble in my pants !!!!!

 where are you getting these?


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## Jack Haggerty (Jul 13, 2002)

Follow the links...

Something Positive

Great web comic.


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## Vaxalon (Jul 14, 2002)

Ah, yes, Something*Positive... one of the best...

Up there with Elf Life and PvP.


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## UniversalMonster (Jul 14, 2002)

One that was actually used in my game: 

"Hey baby, your'e kind of short.. you got any gnome in you?"

"no."

"You want some? heh heh."


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## Andrew D. Gable (Jul 14, 2002)

I need a ten hit dice girl.


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## Berk (Jul 14, 2002)

If you've ever watched any star trek you prolly know how klingons mate. That's how my half-orc barbarian does it.


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## William Ronald (Jul 14, 2002)

What! No jokes about staff of power or rod of lordly might or wand of wonder?


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## Harlock (Jul 14, 2002)

William Ronald said:
			
		

> *What! No jokes about staff of power or rod of lordly might or wand of wonder? *




I just think they were a little too obvious, like Asmodeus for instance.


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## Edena_of_Neith (Jul 14, 2002)

I see the Male Testosterone Hormones runneth over (making quite a mess on the ENBoard.)

  Let me try some lines:

  A pleasure meeting you, Lady Fair.

  Would you care to dance, Gentle Lady?

  Would you enjoy a drink of feywine, Lady?

  Lady, would you like a piece of the innkeeper's delectable pie?

  I see before me a very beautiful girl.

  It would be an honor to make your acquaintance, Lady.

  Lady, it is a pleasure to meet you and your friends.

  It is really nice, to meet you, Lady.


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## Friadoc (Jul 14, 2002)

Hehe,

...well it depends on your class, pun not intended.

Fighter:
(To a prostitute)
I've got a silver piece if you've got 10 rounds - 

Rogue:
(Looking over his shoulder, while talking to a merchant's daughter)
I was reminded of your fiery locks my dearest when my eyes caught the twinkle of this gem.
I knew it must be...
(His head snaps around as guards start to pour into the courtyard)
...shoved into my pocket...
(he steals a quick kiss upon her cheek)
...as I run for the wall and jump!


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## alsih2o (Jul 15, 2002)

and edena of neith lays waste to all of us!!! ouch!


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## Hatchling Dragon (Jul 15, 2002)

Peter said:
			
		

> *One that was actually used in my game:
> 
> "Hey baby, your'e kind of short.. you got any gnome in you?"
> 
> ...




If you were under my DM'age this line would also probably be in *this* thread as well... 

And Something Positive is _so_ funny, in a sick 'n twisted way.  

Hatchling Dragon


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## Wikidogre (Jul 15, 2002)

Fighter- Will you be my scabbard?
Druid- Wanna touch my special pet?
Monk- Give me a chance and ill Stun you with something alright!
Cleric- Wanna see my holy symbol?


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## DM with a vengence (Jul 15, 2002)

"Hey baby, I deal double damage with my lance when mounted."

"Whoa! Is it you or did I just mislabel that Potion of Love as Cure Light Wounds."

And the classic.  "Whadduyu mean no?  After rescuing you from the dragon don't I get any reward?"

"Are you a sorcerer, cause I think you just cast Charm Person on me."

"I have a two-handed weapon.... IN MY PANTS!"

"You just _Raised_ something... IN MY PANTS!"

"I know how to find exactly the right spot, xd6 of exactly the right spot."

"I have read the Gnomish Kama Sutra."


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## Doug Justice (Jul 15, 2002)

Medusa talking to an intruder:

"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."



Doug


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## Friadoc (Jul 15, 2002)

Jack Haggerty said:
			
		

> *Something Positive*




For the record Jack,

...I am now addicted to yet another on-line comic - not a complaint, just a statement of the sheer volume of 'geek time' my life has turned into as of late.

 But it's all good.


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## William Ronald (Jul 15, 2002)

Getting serious (my earlier post was meant tongue-in-cheek), here are a few lines that could work well in your campaign.  (Edena of Neith's were quite good and classy.)

"Yes, my lady, you are beautiful.  However, what impresses me most is your brave spirit and keen mind.  May I speak with you for a while?" (Especially useful if you know something about the other person.)

"The stars are quite lovely tonight.  As is the woman who is gazing at them with me."

"How may I help?"  (Especially helpful to someone who is having a bad day.)

"The music is quite lovely. Can I ask the performers to play a favorite tune for you, my lady?"

"I am not a man moved to rash judgements.  I believe I could become quite fond of you."


"May I have the pleasure of your company by the fireplace.  The firelight seems to truly flatter your features."

The key thing with any romantic line is to think how another person would react to it.


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## 333 Dave (Jul 15, 2002)

"Hey, since I'm not really as charismatic as my character, can I just roll a charisma check to see if she likes me?"


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## Edena_of_Neith (Jul 15, 2002)

Please excuse my Political Correctness.

  It isn't actually Political Correctness.

  You see, once upon a time, I had a character who met a nymph, then was befriended by her.
  Then, he joined the Church of Sune, which happened to be run by another nymph (he didn't know this until shortly before he joined!)

  THEN, we came upon a beach (we were in a ship) were a whole gaggle of nymphs were bathing.

  My character jumped overboard, and abandoned the adventurer altogether, experience points, treasure, and all.
  So he could be with the ladies.

  (This all happened, in the RPGA LC games.)

  Now, when you are my age, you love to fantasize about Romance, especially with girls who are intelligent, mysterious, and beautiful (as nymphs are, if you use the concepts given in Cormanthor:  Empire of Elves.)

  And, it is great to fantasize about dancing with the ladies, and flirting with the ladies, and ... well, enjoying the company of ladies.

  Did I mention having one's character marry, and having children, and even the details of a relationship?
  All of it, yes.  All of it.

  There is a dragon's hoard worth of treasure and magic, and then there is the company of an intelligent lady who is as lonely as your character is.
  My lonely characters pick the lady everytime.  Let someone else have the worthless treasure.

  And so, I cannot bring myself to add to the lists above.
  Such words drive the ladies away (actually, they tend to make the ladies attack your character.)

  And my characters wish to befriend and share the companionship of the ladies, not alienate them.

  That is what happens when you game too long.
  All you Younger Gamers out there, take note, and beware!  

  Edena_of_Neith

  P:S  

  I tried to run a surly, nasty, evil dwarf once by the name of Gnarrus.
  But then the ladies started referring to the cute, lovable dwarf.
  That was the end to that conception.  (rueful look)


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## Hand of Vecna (Jul 15, 2002)

Druid and/or Ranger:  "You look like a mighty oak, in need of some pruning..."

(( got that one from some radio commercial ))


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