# Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern! (chapter 1, now closed)



## Lazlow (May 26, 2005)

As of 2-19-07, this is hereby now the old:

In Character thread for...

*Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern! * 

Now, below are some ground rules I'd like for us (well, okay, you) to follow. Now, it may seem like a lot at first, but I guarantee that they will only help us (most importantly, me) keep track of what's going on a whole lot easier. So:

***

1) Let's try to stay in character in this thread; any quick and simple out of character comments/questions should be set off from the rest of the message like so:

===================
OOC: My butt itches sumpin' fierce

Longer or non-game-related OOC comments/questions should go in the OOC thread (formerly the recruiting thread) here.

***

2) I don't care how you refer to your character whilst in character on this thread; that is, I don't care if you refer to your character in the first person or third person. But do please try to be consistent - don't refer to your character in the first AND third person in the same post. (Yes, I've seen it happen. Most confusing.)

***

3) Please set off spoken words in quotes and in a color, like this: "My butt itches sumpin' fierce!"

***

4) If you like to describe your actions by keeping them separate from your dialog, please set them off in angle brackets like this:

<scratches butt sumpin' fierce, hocks loogie into spitoon>

Otherwise, just use a narrative style like this:

Roguey Bob scratches his butt sumpin' fierce, hocks a loogie into the spitoon and says, "Man, my butt itches sumpin' fierce!"

or, in first person,

I scratch my butt sumpin' fierce, hock a loogie into the spitoon and say, "Man, my butt itches sumpin' fierce!"

but not

Roguey Bob scratches my butt sumpin' fierce, hocks a loogie into the spitoon and I say, "Man, my butt itches sumpin' fierce!"

Who's scratching who, now? A classic case of mixing up your first person and third person narrative. See how confusing that is? Confusing is bad. (Having your butt scratched by a stranger ain't no picnic, either.) 

***

5) For clarity's sake, everyone should have a different color. (First come first serve - so if you really, REALLY have to have pink, better post quick and claim it.)  Also, be sure it's not too light to show up in the "stealth" background mode (the white/grey background).

***

6) Some players like to relate their character's thoughts.  If you like, you can do this by putting thoughts in your speaking color with italics, like this:  _HotDAMN my butt itches sumpin' fierce..._

Now, if you choose to post your character's thoughts every now and then, be careful what he/she thinks. For the most part, they should merely be embellishment for your character's mood or what he/she has said or is about to say. Your character's thoughts should not give away things that other players should know, i.e., do not think: 

_Dang, our Paladin is an idiot...  But, he's got the highest charisma, so we're stuck._ 

This is a double whammy because 1) it can cause a problem in game play with regard to the 'idiot' comment, and 2) that metagaming no-no (how does your character know the Paladin has the highest charisma?  And just what is "charisma", and what does he mean by "highest"?)

***

7) If you want your character to do something without other players knowing, set it off similar to the OOC comment and in a spoiler block addressed to me, like this:

====================

DM: [sblock]My character scratches his butt surreptitiously (+3 to Hide Butt Scratching skill)[/sblock]
We'll count on other players to be honest and not peek!

8)  I know that some players put their name and certain vital stats (class, race, character level, current hp, etc.) in the subject line of each post.  That's not necessary here, and indeed will be frowned upon (at least in the beginning) since no one knows anyone else.

>>>>> 

Okay, that's all the ground rules for now. I promise, this is as "strict" as I get. I'm NOT a rules lawyer, as you'll soon find out. I just want to make sure this game has as little confusion as possible, so we can all enjoy it and have a good time.

As far as die rolling goes, I'll be doing it all.  I also prefer to just describe the action that's taking place:

_Roguey Bob's Whirlwind Attack with the spiked chain sends goblin limbs flying across the clearing, landing at the feet of their bugbear master, and they fall down in a bloody heap!_

...Rather than describe the die rolling that took place:

_Your d20 rolls of 14, 12, and 16, coupled with your attack bonus of +12, easily surpasses the goblin's armor class of 15.  Rolling 2d4+4 for damage with said weapon, you deal 12, 8, and 10 points of damage to goblins 1, 3, and 7 respectively, effectively terminating them.  You have successfully vanquished three of your adversaries.  Huzzah._

In other words, I emphasize the roLE playing, not the roLL playing (cliche, yes, but true).  If you really want to know what you rolled on something let me know, and I may or may not ignore your request altogether.


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## Lazlow (May 26, 2005)

*Intro*

As the sun peeked out from behind the clouds over the seaside village of Lizard Spit, spilling its warm, golden glow over all, it took one look at the town and immediately wished it had stayed in bed.  So, like so many days before this one, it spent the rest of the day hiding behind drizzle-soaked storm clouds and basically sulking its way across the heavens.

In other words, it was a normal day in Lizard Spit.

The grey sky loomed overhead like it always did, the clouds drooled dirty drizzle all around like they always did, and the citizens of Lizard Spit put up with this like they always did.  Such was Lizard Spit.

However, there _was_ something different about this particular day.  There were new folks in town this day, having arrived late last night, each from distant lands unknown – the darkly beautiful young woman with the mysteriously quiet yet impeccably well-dressed companion; the rugged, swarthy man of the law; the dark and mysterious holy man; the, um…  _Extravagantly_ dressed and outspoken elf; and the rather plain-looking young man that seemed to have followed the elf into town (they say he was mesmerized by a shiny bauble on the elf’s attire…).  Yessiree, such a stir hadn’t been caused in Lizard Spit since – well, we’ll get to that shortly.

Yes, as you could tell, the citizens of Lizard Spit were a hardy bunch, withstanding the weather, strangers, and even the occasional natural disaster with a grim, determined apathy.  Why, even when the town was terrorized by that dragon all those years ago, the people of Lizard Spit merely put up with it, paying tribute to the dragon and providing maidens as needed.  Truth be told, the dragon was about to pack it in and find an exciting, altogether more _lively_ town if it hadn’t been for Sir Dudley, who decided to come to the town’s aid (even though they didn’t ask for it) and slay that monstrous dragon.  Legend has it that, in a remarkable and largely unprecedented display of thoughtfulness, the citizens of Lizard Spit commissioned a statue of Sir Dudley and had it erected in the town square on the day of his departure.  Of course, some might call the pose that the sculptor had chosen a bit questionable, what with him appearing to be scratching his butt and all, but it didn’t really seem to bother the fine people of the town.  Life went on as usual – the sky loomed, the clouds drooled.  Such was Lizard Spit.

But that was decades ago, and there weren’t many left in town that were witness to those crazy, reckless days of yore when Spittians (such was what they called themselves) went about erecting statues willy-nilly.  Nosiree, those impetuous, hotheaded days were gone.  Why, just last month marauding bands of goblinoids from the surrounding woods began raiding the town for food and loot, but do you see the townspeople complaining?  Of course not, they’re Spittians, dammit!  And it is on one of these later, altogether lackluster days that these five strangers happen to find themselves in The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern…

Ah yes, The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern.  Quite a popular place, it seems, and not only because it’s the only place in town where you could get a decent meal and a good mug of ale (aside from The Water Weasel, but who wants to go to that dive?).  Here is where the burly dwarf Feargal Sunderkeg, the current owner and proprietor of the tavern, plies his trade.  With his sister Muirna tending tables and his cousin Olaf in the kitchen, Sunderkeg (as he likes to be called) has managed to make this establishment the jewel of the city.  Well, not really.  But he sure would like to think so, and he does serve up a mean mug o’ hooch.  Most of the townsfolk like to come here after a hard, long day of indifference to the world and tie one on, perhaps listening to a wandering minstrel every now and again before he leaves (or hangs himself) from utter depression, or reveling in one of Sunderkeg’s many tall tales of his past adventures.  The womenfolk keep abreast of the latest gossip via Muirna, who never lets a juicy bit of hearsay get past her.  And everyone just _loves_ Olaf’s lutefisk.  Mm-mm, lutefisk…

…Er, so, as I said, it so happens that these five strangers have made their way into The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern, where some momentous things may or may not await them…

=======================

OOC:  ...Aaaaaaaaaaaand - _action!_


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## Wystan (May 26, 2005)

I reserve Green
(Description in Third person, I will do all else in first)
Jaunting in the front door...comes a *Male* Elf with Long, Lustrous, Shiny, Clean, Flowing, Blond hair. On *his* back is a bright Yellow and Red Backpack that has a small label applied near the edge. *He* is wearing Sky Blue and Purple Pantaloons and a Bright Orange and Periwinkle Shirt. On *his* waist is a Bright White Belt with a Royal Blue Scabbard. *He* appears to be wearing a suit of mail Under the clothing. *He* has a Black Bandana about 1/2 inch above *his* eyes. *He* is also wearing a fair bit of simple jewelry, like a necklace, some rings, earrings....ect...
(/end description)

I walk to the counter:: "Excuse me miss, is there some work that I can do to pay for a meal of that wonderful bread and food that I smell cooking. No meat however, does not agree with my stomach. Also I find myself short of cash overall and would like to know if there is work to be found in this town for one such as I?"

I then turn to the room and survey what is around me. I smile at those that make eye contact.:: "What charming people. I think I might grow to like it here. If I can find a place to ply my Trade. I am a clothier or tailor. "

I turn back to the counter and keep talking the whole time::"I can also help to teach reading and writing and assist in the training of young folks in the martial profession. As a last resort I can always try to clean and assist with any 'Problems' the town might have. But that might not be fair to the 'Problem'..."
I smile broadly ::"Could I beg a mug of water as well."

I finally stop talking for a bit.


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## Ranger Rick (May 26, 2005)

A person in rattily attired clothes enters soon after the well dressed elf.  His clothes are patch worked and not all rips are mended.  He walks in and does not stop to affix his eyes to the darkness.  In his temporary blind state he almost trips over a bench in the middle of the room.  Stopping he sits down and with his gaze no longer fixed on the elf, he starts to look around. Seeing someone near by he studders a question, Wah..Wah...Wah...where am...am...am....Where am I?

He stares blankly at the person waiting for an answer.


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## Branding Opportunity (May 26, 2005)

A prolonged coughing can be heard from coming outside the door of the inn.  It continues for nearly a minute, and you hear a man's baritone voice say, "Great Grandfather's ghost!  I thought I was about to loose my lunch on that one."

There is the sound of some shuffling about and clearing of throat after which the door opens, revealing an extremely tall, lanky man clad in rust-red clerical robes, covered with a midnight-blue hooded cloak.  Before entering the inn’s main room proper, he turns around and calls out sharply to someone out of sight, “No, no, put him in the stable and don’t give him oats.  You know how gassy he gets when he eats plain oats.  Just mix it with the straw.”

The man turns and enters the main room, ignoring everyone else, not bothering to close the door behind him, and quickly makes his way over to a table, where he unceremoniously plops into an empty child.  He pulls the hood off of his head, revealing a bald pate, a black goatee and chillingly blue eyes.  His features look patrician, accented by a narrow, aquiline nose and small, thin lips.  He sits back in his chair, messaging his temples and mumbling to himself.

Finally, he looks up at someone he assumes is a waitress of some sort and very quickly blurts out, “Eh, hello there.  Would you happen to have some warm soup or something like that?  Nothing too strong, my stomach couldn’t take that.  Perhaps a light leak soup?  But nothing with cream, that would keep me up all night with cramps.  Hmm, perhaps a chicken soup would be good?  Well, I would think that would depend on the chickens.  And then some bread.  And maybe a little bit of venison if you have it.  Oh, yes, and a wine, but nothing too sweet, and not that swill you sell the traders passing through.  Something with a bit of age to it.”  He clears his throat, looking up to see if the waitress got all that.  “Oh, yes, and I guess you should get something for Luther.  He’s in the stable with the horse.  He’s fond of cheese, but don’t give him any.  The soup’s good enough for him.  Dairy  makes him obstreperous.”


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## Gray Shade (May 26, 2005)

There's a jingling and clomping outside the door of the bar and loud curses about horse leavings. After a few moments of this, the doors splay wide and an imposing figure with a chest like a Gnollish beer barrel and arms like dragon sausages steps in. He stops, one hand holding a door open, the other lifting the brim of his wide, cinnamon-stick curled hat so his squinted, glinting eyes can get a long look at all the bar-dwellers.

His chest is covered in a solid hunk of Mithral, dulled with dust from the long road. A matching shield is strapped to his back, and a straight sword with a hilt shaped like the head of great dog-of-war hangs on a red scabbard at his hip. A bright blue feather juts from his backpack over his left shoulder. His pants, boots and gloves are all thick leather stained by well-oiling beneath the layer of trail dirt that exhales dust when he moves. He pounds at his arms and legs to knock most of the dust off then steps further into the room. His boot spurs jangle twice before he stops abruptly with a wrinkle of his nose and steps outside to stomp around on the porch a bit more before re-entering, this time without any flourish, but apparently satisfied with his smell.

He saunters up to the bar with still-squinted eyes and listens to the friendly yet babbling elf before popping a cigarillo between his lips. While he continues to listen to the elf, he takes a rag from his pocket and shines a bronze star attached to a strap on his armor, beneath which lies his gritty heart (too much grit?).

Once the elf's finally stopped . . . oh, wait, no . . . okay . . . NOW that the elf's stopped talking, between gnaws at his tobaccy-stick he says to the proprietor, "Proprietor, gimme some grog. And get some for this pretty little lady, here, too." With that, he gives the elf a quick wink and nod of the head, and turns around to survey the rest of the citizenry.


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## Lazlow (May 26, 2005)

*A talkative elf*



			
				Wystan said:
			
		

> Jaunting down the Stairs (or out of a back room as needed)...




OOC:  Looks like it'll have to be the front door...  (Tavern map is up in OOC thread)



> ... comes a *Male* Elf with Long, Lustrous, Shiny, Clean, Flowing, Blond hair. On *his* back is a bright Yellow and Red Backpack that has a small label applied near the edge. *He* is wearing Sky Blue and Purple Pantaloons and a Bright Orange and Periwinkle Shirt. On *his* waist is a Bright White Belt with a Royal Blue Scabbard. *He* appears to be wearing a suit of mail Under the clothing. *He* has a Black Bandana about 1/2 inch above *his* eyes. *He* is also wearing a fair bit of simple jewelry, like a necklace, some rings, earrings....ect...
> (/end description)




As you enter the tavern, most...  Well, okay, _all_ of the patrons immediately stop their talking/drinking/drooling/whatever and look directly at you with slightly widened eyes.  Then, almost in unison, they all shrug and immediately go back to talking/drinking/drooling as you step up to the counter.  Behind the counter a young Dwarven lass with masses of slightly desheviled red hair tied up in a bright green bow polishes some mugs.

"Excuse me miss, is there some work that I can do to pay for a meal of that wonderful bread and food that I smell cooking."

"Well, I -"

"No meat however, does not agree with my stomach."

"Oh, ok-"

"Also I find myself short of cash overall and would like to know if there is work to be found in this town for one such as I?"

"Oh, well I -"

<turns to face the room> "What charming people. I think I might grow to like it here. If I can find a place to ply my Trade. I am a clothier or tailor. "

"Ther-"

<turns back to the counter>"I can also help to teach reading and writing and assist in the training of young folks in the martial profession."

"Uh-hu-"

"As a last resort I can always try to clean and assist with any 'Problems' the town might have."

"..."

"But that might not be fair to the 'Problem'..."

< :\ >

<smiling broadly>"Could I beg a mug of water as well."

She waits a few seconds, not quite believing that you've finally stopped talking, then reaches down below the bar.  You hear a faint *sploosh* and she sets a cup of water down in front of you.  "On the house," she says with a terse smile.

"If you're lookin' for tailor work, you could always check with Carlotta, she runs the clothier's up on the north end of Merchant's Row.  As for 'problems', well, you might check with Sunderkeg.  He'll be out in a minute."


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## LogicsFate (May 27, 2005)

The doors of the tavern fling open as the darkly beautiful young woman with the mysteriously quiet yet impeccably well-dressed companion enter. The woman, a short human with long black hair, a pale compliction and dressed in revealing black leather waltzes up to the bar. She is smiling broadly the entire way. Either talking to her companion or herself  *"What a gorgeous day, I wish everyday was like this"
*

Her tall, skinny compainion follows, dressed head to toe, Clothing covering all flesh. A sword, a bow and a back pack identify a warrior

The woman smacks the bar oblivious to anyone how would care, *"Hey barman, gimme a, well gimme the special if you have one of those and be quick we're thirsty"
*


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## Wystan (May 27, 2005)

I take the glass::"Why thank you lass, and may I say that you would have to be the prettiest dwarven maid I have ever seen. However that color does not highlight or flatter your hair and the tecture is all wrong for your skin type. I would reccomend a less subtle earth tone, maybe overtones of copper thrown in for a mix....Look at me talking, let me introduce myself. I am Ranti Akande, Clothier and Problem Solver supreme. Heck I remember this one time that I was asked to clear a den of 200 Kobolds. At least that is how many it seemed to be when I was done. However I did not stick around long when I was done. They fell before me..."

I appear to be turning a slight green

"I think that my tales like that might have to wait. They make me slightly queasy.. Anyway, would you be willing to spot me a slight meal, maybe some of that broth or soup that the gentleman over there is requesting."

Looking down my nose at him::

"And you sir REALLY need to clean your armor and clothing some more and a bath or at least simple cleaning could do you well. At least you don't carry the stench of carrion on you. I will make do with my water for now."

I proceed to sip at the water checking for chemical tastes and the like....


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*Muirna meets another stranger*



			
				Branding Opportunity said:
			
		

> A prolonged coughing can be heard from coming outside the door of the inn.  It continues for nearly a minute, and you hear a man's baritone voice say, "Great Grandfather's ghost!  I thought I was about to loose my lunch on that one."
> 
> There is the sound of some shuffling about and clearing of throat after which the door opens, revealing an extremely tall, lanky man clad in rust-red clerical robes, covered with a midnight-blue hooded cloak.  Before entering the inn’s main room proper, he turns around and calls out sharply to someone out of sight, “No, no, put him in the stable and don’t give him oats.  You know how gassy he gets when he eats plain oats.  Just mix it with the straw.”




At this, a severe little balding man wearing thick spectacles and heavy brown robes rolls his eyes, tosses up his hands, pushes his plate of food away from him in disgust, and quickly exits the tavern, giving you a cold look and muttering under his breath.



> The man turns and enters the main room, ignoring everyone else, not bothering to close the door behind him, and quickly makes his way over to a table, where he unceremoniously plops into an empty child.




OOC:  Um...  You sure about that?  The parents might get a bit upset...   




> He pulls the hood off of his head, revealing a bald pate, a black goatee and chillingly blue eyes.  His features look patrician, accented by a narrow, aquiline nose and small, thin lips.  He sits back in his chair, messaging his temples and mumbling to himself.




Few patrons bother to turn and look at you, but those who do simply shrug and turn back to draining their mugs.  You think you hear someone say something like, "When it rains, it pours..."  

The Dwarven barmaid bustles up to you and starts to say something but stops short as you begin to talk:

“Eh, hello there.  Would you happen to have some warm soup or something like that?  Nothing too strong, my stomach couldn’t take that.  Perhaps a light leak soup?  But nothing with cream, that would keep me up all night with cramps.  Hmm, perhaps a chicken soup would be good?  Well, I would think that would depend on the chickens.  And then some bread.  And maybe a little bit of venison if you have it.  Oh, yes, and a wine, but nothing too sweet, and not that swill you sell the traders passing through.  Something with a bit of age to it.”  <clears throat, looks up expectantly> 

Halfway through your order, you thought you caught an almost imperceptible rolling of the eyes as if to say, "Here we go again," but you're not sure.  When you pause, she perks up a bit, looks at you expectantly, and _just_ as you start to speak she quickly says, "Cockaleekie soup, thin, with bread, venison and a dry wine, not inexpensive, well-aged.  Right away."  She turns to go, then turns back as you speak again.

“Oh, yes, and I guess you should get something for Luther.  He’s in the stable with the horse.  He’s fond of cheese, but don’t give him any.  The soup’s good enough for him.  Dairy  makes him obstreperous.”

"_Two_ soups, no cheese for the stubborn loudmouth.  Right.  Back in a jiff."  She bustles toward the back of the tavern and yells, "Feargal!  Little help up front, please,"  before she disappears through the kitchen door.


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*Sunderkeg on the job*



			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> There's a jingling and clomping outside the door of the bar and loud curses about horse leavings. After a few moments of this, the doors splay wide and an imposing figure with a chest like a Gnollish beer barrel and arms like dragon sausages steps in. He stops, one hand holding a door open, the other lifting the brim of his wide, cinnamon-stick curled hat so his squinted, glinting eyes can get a long look at all the bar-dwellers.




The bar dwellers don't seem to mind your long look, as most of them ignore you.  The few who do look in your direction seem to look past you, as if wondering where this line of strangers will end, and when they'll stop interrupting their bleak, uneventful existences.



> His chest is covered in a solid hunk of Mithral, dulled with dust from the long road. A matching shield is strapped to his back, and a straight sword with a hilt shaped like the head of great dog-of-war hangs on a red scabbard at his hip. A bright blue feather juts from his backpack over his left shoulder. His pants, boots and gloves are all thick leather stained by well-oiling beneath the layer of trail dirt that exhales dust when he moves. He pounds at his arms and legs to knock most of the dust off then steps further into the room. His boot spurs jangle twice before he stops abruptly with a wrinkle of his nose and steps outside to stomp around on the porch a bit more before re-entering, this time without any flourish, but apparently satisfied with his smell.
> 
> He saunters up to the bar with still-squinted eyes and listens to the friendly yet babbling elf before popping a cigarillo between his lips. While he continues to listen to the elf, he takes a rag from his pocket and shines a bronze star attached to a strap on his armor, beneath which lies his gritty heart (too much grit?).
> 
> Once the elf's finally stopped . . . oh, wait, no . . . okay . . . NOW that the elf's stopped talking, between gnaws at his tobaccy-stick...




"Proprietor, gimme some grog. And get some for this pretty little lady, here, too." <winks at elf, nods, turns back around to face the crowd>

"Feargal!  Little help up front please,"  the barmaid says before disappearing through the kitchen door.

Instantaneously, almost magically, a rugged Dwarf with a mass of rust-colored hair flecked with streaks and specks of grey pops up from behind the bar.  His attire appears to be an eclectic mix of old, worn adventuring-style odds paired with newer, expensive-looking merchant-style ends, over which a bright white barkeeper's apron has been tied.  He quickly surveys the room and smiles broadly at the new faces in town.  He draws up a tall mug of a frothy liquid from a keg and sets it down in front of the dusty, tobaccy-stick-chewing man.  "Ach weel, m'lad, noo thas'll be th' bayst grog ye'll be havin' 'n a long toime, aye," he says in the most ridiculous 'Dwarven' accent you've ever heard.

He turns to the brightly adorned elf and whistles long and low.  "Faith'n begorrah, lad!  I..."

He pauses, seemingly at a loss for words.  A couple of regulars at the bar glance over at the Dwarf with a surprised look on their faces.

He clears his throat and composes himself.  "Ahem, aye...  Weel mayt, stranger, th' name's Sunderkeg.  Weelcome t' th' Oold Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern!  'n' wheer might ye be hailin' from this foine ayvnin'?  Fields af-"

He stops short, distracted (impossible as it sounds) by something bright and shiny that is, amazingly, *not* adorning the elf.

He turns back to the dusty man and says, "Say...  's that a badge yoor weerin'?"


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*Blind leads the blind...*



			
				Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> A person in rattily attired clothes enters soon after the well dressed elf.  His clothes are patch worked and not all rips are mended.  He walks in and does not stop to affix his eyes to the darkness.  In his temporary blind state he almost trips over a bench in the middle of the room.  Stopping he sits down and with his gaze no longer fixed on the elf, he starts to look around. Seeing someone near by he studders a question...




Wah..Wah...Wah...where am...am...am....Where am I?  <stares blankly waiting for an answer>

A red-eyed patron turns towards this lost stranger and affixes him with a bleary stare - that is to say, he _would_ affix him with a bleary stare if only he could figure out which one of them to stare at when they finally stop swirling around in circles.  He opens his mouth to speak and you think you hear faintly wailing spirits emerge from his slobbering maw, but realize that it's just a mixture of his belabored breathing and appalling breath.

"Thish here'sh the bold cold one-redsh sheeing eye dog tav*hick* tav*hick tav*hick* thish here'sh tha bar, mate."   He finally gets a fix on you and smiles a sickly smile, revealing sickly teeth.  "Buy ush a round, eh?  I'll tellsh ya all about it."   He quickly jerks his hand up to wave for the barmaid but seems to have forgotten that it was propping up his chin, and with an amazing lack of skill he snaps his head back, flinging his body backward into his chair which promptly turns over, upending him in a heap on the floor.  His only reaction to this is, amazingly enough, a loud and pronounced snore.


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## Wystan (May 27, 2005)

I am now talking to the new Dwarf that has popped from the woodwork."That is the worst outfit I have ever seen. I would suggest some blues like this"

Point to my pants

"They will help diguise the natural rouge in your cheeks. Also I would suggest that you try a concentrated style. You appear to be going for 'Adventurer lost in the cave that dressed in the dark whilst being hounded by goblins with pointy sticks.' While that look is doable, you do not have the facial character for it. I would love to be able to assist you in choosing an outfit. However I am still hungry and need to find a way to afford a simple bowl of soup with a crust of bread to sop it up with...And a napkin, maybe a bit of fresh greens as well. A glass of Elven wine would be most acceptible as well..."

Looking around again I spy the disheveled gentleman that has been following me...

"and you sir could do with a bit of color as well and a fabric that will allow your skin to breath. it may assist your memory problems to have a headband as well to help hold in those stray thoughts."

Continuing to rove my gaze::

"and the decor here is so archaic. I could see some bright yellow or red curtains, the tables could use some cloths to cover them. The patrons all look dismal..Like nothing good ever happens..."

A look of Surprise for the fellow that collapsed...rushes to try to wake him and help him up

 "Dear sir do you know how unsanitary that is?"


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## Ranger Rick (May 27, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> "Thish here'sh the bold cold one-redsh sheeing eye dog tav*hick* tav*hick tav*hick* thish here'sh tha bar, mate."   He finally gets a fix on you and smiles a sickly smile, revealing sickly teeth.  "Buy ush a round, eh?  I'll tellsh ya all about it."   He quickly jerks his hand up to wave for the barmaid but seems to have forgotten that it was propping up his chin, and with an amazing lack of skill he snaps his head back, flinging his body backward into his chair which promptly turns over, upending him in a heap on the floor.  His only reaction to this is, amazingly enough, a loud and pronounced snore.





"A...a...a..roun...a round....for you?  Hmmm...."   He looks around the place..."Eureka!"   He takes the table & tilts it so the edge is on the passed out drunks chest.  Very polietly he says, "Here...here....here is a round."  He goes back and sits down looking befuddled.

OOC:  I wonder if the table is heavy enough to crush the drunks ribcage? (Oh I have str 16)


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*New girl in town*



			
				LogicsFate said:
			
		

> The doors of the tavern fling open as the darkly beautiful young woman with the mysteriously quiet yet impeccably well-dressed companion enter. The woman, a short human with long black hair, a pale compliction and dressed in revealing black leather waltzes up to the bar. She is smiling broadly the entire way. Either talking to her companion or herself...




"What a gorgeous day, I wish everyday was like this."

At the sound and sight of the doors being flung open, all but the most inebriated patrons immediately turn to see what the hubbub is (as if there wasn't enough already).  And at the sight of the darkly beautiful and scantily clad female that stands there framed by the open doors, those inebriated patrons quickly sober up as their eyes pop open and their jaws fall down.  The few womenfolk there are in the tavern seem to sink inward at the sight of the exotic woman - just before they kick their men in the shins for ogling.

"Have a seat dearie and I'll be with you straightaway," Muirna says, having emerged from the kitchen holding a tray laden with steaming dishes and an impressive bottle of wine, and seemingly unaffected by the bewitching presence of this unorthodox (for these parts, anyway) woman.  She pauses at the bar to pick up a clean rag and snap Sunderkeg's agape jaw back into place before making her way over to the table where the tall, gaunt human sits.  Setting everything down with an expert flair she says, "I think you'll find everything to your likin', sir.  Shall I run ye a tab?"   Despite the simple, rustic presentation of the soup and meat, it does indeed smell amazingly good.



> Her tall, skinny compainion follows, dressed head to toe, Clothing covering all flesh. A sword, a bow and a back pack identify a warrior.  The woman smacks the bar oblivious to anyone how would care:




"Hey barman, gimme a, well gimme the special if you have one of those and be quick we're thirsty."

At the sound of the woman's dulcet tones, Sunderkeg snaps back to attention, wiping a spot of drool off of his beard.  The patrons also seem to perk up a bit at the mention of "The Special".  Indeed, the dull murmur of quiet conversation all but disappears, and those who were sitting with their backs to the bar turn around to face it.

Sunderkeg strides over, wiping his hands on a rag, a wide grin on his face.  He says nothing as he reaches down under the bar and pops back up with a small crystal glass and what looks to be an obsidian carafe.  He puts these on the bar with a flouish and a wiggle of his bushy eyebrows, then reaches down again and takes out a clay jug stoppered with a cork and marked with "XXX" on the side.  He then reaches into a pocket and pulls out some goggles, which he then dons, afterwards pulling on some thick leather gloves.

He uncorks the jug, pouring a bit of what's inside into the glass with a quiet little *burble*, filling it about two-thirds of the way up. It looks mostly clear, with a hint of an amber color. He corks the jug tightly and puts it back under the bar, afterwards pulling up a pair of long-handled tongs.

Using the tongs, he _caaaaaaaaaaarefully_ takes the stopper off the top of the black carafe, which seems to elicit some strange, almost ghostly *waaailling* noises as a thin whisper of smoke rises out from the top.  He _sloooooooowly_ pours about one or two drops into the glass, and as it mixes with the amber liquid, it begins to swirl about wildly, seeming to swirl faster and faster as the seconds pass.  He quickly puts the stopper back on the flask and returns it down below, using the tongs all the while, then quickly but carefully picks up the glass.  Watching it intently, he takes a step or two back, holds it at arm's length, and, suddenly, it bursts into a shocking blue flame which seems to engulf his entire arm, lighting up the whole tavern with a radiant blue blaze!  He waves his arm slowly in a circle, seemingly unaffected by the mystical flames, and after a few moments the strange fire subsides.  He sets the drink down in front of the beautiful patron with a smile, and removes his goggles and gloves as a smattering of polite applause and a few "bravo, bravo" comments arise from the regulars.

"Ach, 'n that'll be on th' hoose," he says with a wink.

Muirna pauses from cleaning mugs for a moment and looks at Sunderkeg, rolling her eyes.  "Good grief..."

==================

OOC:  Hope you don't mind Deep Sky Blue.


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*Muirna and Ranti*

<taking the glass>"Why thank you lass, and may I say that you would have to be the prettiest dwarven maid I have ever seen. However that color does not highlight or flatter your hair and the tecture is all wrong for your skin type. I would reccomend a less subtle earth tone, maybe overtones of copper thrown in for a mix....Look at me talking, let me introduce myself. I am Ranti Akande, Clothier and Problem Solver supreme. Heck I remember this one time that I was asked to clear a den of 200 Kobolds. At least that is how many it seemed to be when I was done. However I did not stick around long when I was done. They fell before me..."

<turning a slight green>

Muirna looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"I think that my tales like that might have to wait. They make me slightly queasy.. Anyway, would you be willing to spot me a slight meal, maybe some of that broth or soup that the gentleman over there is requesting."

She nudges Sunderkeg, who manages to pull his eyes off the leather-clad maiden for a moment and steps over to you.

"And you sir REALLY need to clean your armor and clothing some more and a bath or at least simple cleaning could do you well. At least you don't carry the stench of carrion on you. I will make do with my water for now."

OOC:  Who are you saying this to?



> I proceed to sip at the water checking for chemical tastes and the like....




Sunderkeg gives you a quizzical look as you smack your lips and tongue checking the taste.  "Yessir?" (continuation of this conversation in next post)


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*Ranti gives Sunderkeg some fashion advice*

<turning to Sunderkeg>"That is the worst outfit I have ever seen. I would suggest some blues like this" <points to pants>

"Ach!  Weel, I-"

"They will help diguise the natural rouge in your cheeks. Also I would suggest that you try a concentrated style."

"Con-"

"You appear to be going for 'Adventurer lost in the cave that dressed in the dark whilst being hounded by goblins with pointy sticks.'

"Now s-"

"While that look is doable, you do not have the facial character for it. I would love to be able to assist you in choosing an outfit."

"Wh-"

"However I am still hungry and need to find a way to afford a simple bowl of soup with a crust of bread to sop it up with...And a napkin, maybe a bit of fresh greens as well. A glass of Elven wine would be most acceptible as well..."

"STOP!!" the Dwarf shouts, then quickly composes himself.  "I kin spare ye a bool a soop 'n' a croost a breed, dinna woorry."  He disappears into the kitchen muttering.  "At least his mouth'll be busy..."

<looking about> "and the decor here is so archaic. I could see some bright yellow or red curtains, the tables could use some cloths to cover them. The patrons all look dismal..Like nothing good ever happens..."

"You can say that again," Muirna says quickly, passing by with a tray full of mugs.



> A look of Surprise for the fellow that collapsed...rushes to try to wake him and help him up




 "Dear sir do you know how unsanitary that is?"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE IT," he blurts out, then turns over with a sneer and nestles up against the chair leg.


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## Wystan (May 27, 2005)

OOC: The guy who called me a lass...


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*the drunkard's nap*



			
				Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> "A...a...a..roun...a round....for you?  Hmmm...."   He looks around the place..."Eureka!"   He takes the table & tilts it so the edge is on the passed out drunks chest.  Very polietly he says, "Here...here....here is a round."  He goes back and sits down looking befuddled.




The drunk merely grunts before saying, "GET YOUR HANDSH OFFA MY WIFE!"   He starts snoring again very quickly.

==============



> OOC:  I wonder if the table is heavy enough to crush the drunks ribcage? (Oh I have str 16)




OOC:  Nah, it's good.


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## Gray Shade (May 27, 2005)

Once the fine elf tells my guy to take a bath, he looks down at himself and mutters, "it's road dust . . . I just got off the road . . . I can't have taken a bath before I come in to have a drink, or even get a room . . . you can't avoid road dust on a road . . . " He stands, drinks his grog in a long swallow, and grabs the one he ordered for the elf (without malice) and starts drinking that one while walking from patron to patron in the bar.

He looks each person (except one) fully from eye to toe and back, clucks his tongue appropriately and rubs his scragly chin.  While in front of the woman in leather, he absently says, "should I have shaved, too?"  He quickly makes eye contact with her and says, "YOU ever try shaving on a horse on the trail?  Only one I ever knew to try that we called Blood-Face, well, after that . . . "  He gives a heavy sigh, shakes his head and moves on to her companion, who is the one he does not give a long look to.  He just glances at him and moves on to the guy curled up on the floor.

After taking in each person in turn, he returns to the bar and, to whatever Dwarf happens to be working there at the moment, says "Another beer, and is the chili dog in season? . . . Nevermind, just give me mushrooms, a half-dozen eggs scrambled up with goat cheese, a pound of rashers, and a room for the night.  Feel like it's months of straight riding from the duke's keep."

Then he bides his time . . . soon, my friends, soon . . .


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## Wystan (May 27, 2005)

I sigh LOUDLY at the armored fellow and walk away from the downed patron back to the bar. While looking at him I state::

"You must have at least passed a Pond, a swim and cleaning is common place. And it is Drizzling, just stand still for a bit and the water might deign to hit you and cleanse you at least a bit. I mean really, you are covered in dust, and need a serious road cleansing. Now the colors you are wearing is also a totally different fact...and by the way I do not like being called pretty, or lass, handsome will do. If you impinge my honor one more time I will need to take it to an honor duel."

Turning back to the lass behind the bar::

"Now where was I, oh yes, a nice gingham would look good on you and would bring out the rosy cheeks that you have and the brightness of your eyes. of course the green ribbon in your hair will have to go, it would clash, a bright red ribbon would add such ambiance to your demeanor. I think that you could also do with a nice cheery apple red apron and have the new curtains in the bar match and the table cloths could be a good tartan with a purple and red design."

Looking around again::

"Maybe some cushions and covers on the seats and even some shirts with the taverns logo sewn onto the from for the eployees. I think that would look wonderful. But we would have to decide what the logo is..."

I appear to be talking to myself now::

"Maybe....Come to The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern and leave with a new outlook on life....or TOBOeSRDT it's not a bar, it's an adventure..."


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## LogicsFate (May 27, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> At least you don't carry the stench of carrion on you. I will make do with my water for now."




About to take a drink, the woman hears this crack and slams the glass down, resulting in a gout of blue flame and smoke 
 
I do NOT smell like carrion!...er wait were you referring to me?


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## LogicsFate (May 27, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> "should I have shaved, too?"




Stopping the glass just inches from her lips, she looks up at the man *No, your fine *and goes to take a drink




			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> "YOU ever try shaving on a horse on the trail? Only one I ever knew to try that we called Blood-Face, well, after that . . . "




*Hmm?* stopping short again *Is that so?

*


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## Wystan (May 27, 2005)

I turn towards the outburst and notice the Interesting Lady for the first time::

"Now that is a fasion statement. However I would not say you smell of carion. You appear to be a little more health and cleanliness consciois than some of the others here. It is also easy to see that you shower on a regular basis. Your outfit leaves very little to the imagination on where the dirt could be. May I offer you a glass of water. I mean you must be parched after the time that you spent on the road."


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## LogicsFate (May 27, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> I turn towards the outburst and notice the Interesting Lady for the first time::
> 
> "Now that is a fasion statement. However I would not say you smell of carion. You appear to be a little more health and cleanliness consciois than some of the others here. It is also easy to see that you shower on a regular basis. Your outfit leaves very little to the imagination on where the dirt could be. May I offer you a glass of water. I mean you must be parched after the time that you spent on the road."




*O' ok. I was worried, I've worked hard to remove any offending smells* She speaks along with the elf if necessary *You may offer at any time, *

setting the special down for the moment *I guess I should drink some water too 
*


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## Branding Opportunity (May 27, 2005)

The tall gentlemen in the rust-red robes generally ignores what is going on around him, although he does smile warmly when the dwarven waitress brings him his dinner, "Ah, that looks lovely.  Thank you very much."

When she asks about the tab he is just about to taste the soup, the spoon halfway to his mouth, "Eh?  What?  Oh, yes, as it looks I will be spending at least one night here, it might be better to put it all together."

Satisfied that he has answered her questions, he proceeds to uncork the bottle of wine and pour himself a glass, seemingly oblivious to everything that goes on around him.  A few minutes into his meal, he reaches into a leather satchel he put down next to his chair and pulls out a book.  It is bound in dark-red leather, and carries the title, "The Intricacies of Torture and Execution: Professional Edition".  He holds the book in front of him with one hand, trying to catch the best light and uses his other hand to move his food and drink to his mouth.  A few times the subject matter of the book is so engrossing that he can't take his eyes from it, his wine glass held motionless inches from his lips.  After a moment, his arm begins to hurt and he quickly takes a sip, putting the glass back down afterwards.


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## Lazlow (May 27, 2005)

*Sunderkeg introduces Lizard Spit*



			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Once the fine elf tells my guy to take a bath, he looks down at himself and mutters, "it's road dust . . . I just got off the road . . . I can't have taken a bath before I come in to have a drink, or even get a room . . . you can't avoid road dust on a road . . . " He stands, drinks his grog in a long swallow, and grabs the one he ordered for the elf (without malice) and starts drinking that one while walking from patron to patron in the bar.




The vast majority of the patrons ignore you, preferring to keep to their cups.  A couple give you dirty glances, but quickly turn away when they get a full look at you.



> He looks each person (except one) fully from eye to toe and back, clucks his tongue appropriately and rubs his scragly chin.  While in front of the woman in leather, he absently says, "should I have shaved, too?"  He quickly makes eye contact with her and says, "YOU ever try shaving on a horse on the trail?  Only one I ever knew to try that we called Blood-Face, well, after that . . . "  He gives a heavy sigh, shakes his head and moves on to her companion, who is the one he does not give a long look to.  He just glances at him and moves on to the guy curled up on the floor.




The guy curled up on the floor seems to be staring at you intently.  He continues to snore, however, and upon closer examination, it seems he's sleeping with his eyes wide open.  He murmurs something about "COBRAS!" but falls back asleep.



> After taking in each person in turn, he returns to the bar and, to whatever Dwarf happens to be working there at the moment, says "Another beer, and is the chili dog in season? . . . Nevermind, just give me mushrooms, a half-dozen eggs scrambled up with goat cheese, a pound of rashers, and a room for the night.  Feel like it's months of straight riding from the duke's keep."
> 
> Then he bides his time . . . soon, my friends, soon . . .




Both Dwarves are there at the moment, and Muirna nods at your order before she ducks into the kitchen.  Sunderkeg says, "Weel, m'lad, we dinnae ha' rooms here, but I'll be moor 'n happy ta tell ya wheer ta stay."

With that, he steps out from behind the bar and walks over to a wall where he reaches up and grabs a small wooden ring attached to a piece of twine high up on the wall. He pulls it down with a quick snap! and unfurls a large map of the town (OOC: see next post for map).  He stands on an empty stool and speaks loudly, apparently for all to hear...  And as his voice gets louder, it seems his accent gets worse...

"Noo, f'r a doom, ye've ga foor choices: Th' G'dey Minst'del, next door, here - a wee bitty o' th' swank, bu' I hayrtily d'ecommend et, aye. Thayn, doon by th' docks, ye've ga th' Water Weasel - if'n y' theenk ye can fend off th' vayrdmin and y' dinnae min' bein' mooged, heh heh. Next oop ye've ga Fharlaghn's D'espit, a d'oadside taymple t' th' t'davelin' god, an' a hostel ta boot. They take nae gold, but they doo dequire ye ta wod'k f'r y' stee; nuthin' too bad, thoo, jes' small tasks, cleanin' 'n' sooch. Yuir las' choice, o' coorse, is ta camp ootside o' toon. But wha wi' all th' goblinoids davagin' and madaudin' an' sooch, I'd rather take me chances a' th' Water Weasel, meself."

He steps to the other side of the map, places his free hand behind his back, and continues the lecture.  "Noo, 'f'n yuir lookin' f'r equipment, ye'll be wantin' Jot's Soond'dies, aye," he says as he pulls out a long pointer, seemingly from nowhere, and points on the map. "F'r moor, shell we see, 'exotic' items, ye'll be wantin' t' see Kolat, aye, ovud a' Kolat's Empoodium."  He points again at a different spot, then makes circular motions on the map. "Dight heed, heed we ha' Mayd'chant's Doo. If'n y' cannae fin' whot y' need a' Mayd'chant's Doo, then y' cannae fin' et 'tall, I always see.  I'll jes leave th' map doon f'r ye, take yuir time."

He climbs down from the stool and heads back behind the bar.


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## Gray Shade (May 27, 2005)

The human with the badge claps Sunderkeg friendlily on the back as he moves past him and says loudly: "Thank you, wise and mighty Sunderkeg! I'm in town on an important mission. Sent by the Duke. I seek an item of power, which I must keep from falling into the wrong hands, but first I must find a stalwart band of adventurers to help me, for my plight is mightier than my singular might might be."

He pauses and the angle of his look goes a bit over everyone's head as he turns away from Sunderkeg and toward the tavern dwellers.

"I am an official representative of the Duke, a man at arms in his royal constabulary. My name is Sheriff Berserker Bill. You may have heard of me!"

<awkward silence--a guy in back clears his throat>

"No? Not even a little?"


"In any case, I am a Sheriff, sent on a tracking mission to retrieve an item of mystical power before it can be taken by a foul outlaw who would use its power to . . . " His voice fades as his face grows grim and he knuckles at what may have been a tear from his right eye.

"We cannot let this happen! My quest is a difficult and arduous one, but before I can complete it, I must seek the power which can only come from unifying diversity." He moves his hands like he's choking a baby. "Men and women of endurance and cunning!" He motions about at the other strangers, "Elven Poofs, Goth Chicks, Scary Intellectuals, even Drunken Amnesiacs, all have their uses, all should be pulled together NOW by the call to arms of . . . of . . . oh, crap" he wags his head once. With a deep breath, he lifts an invisible beach ball to his eye level with both arms and finishes: "of goodness itself!"

When no one jumps at this, he adds, "or the monetary reward the Duke has authorized me to disburse."

"Who's with me?!"


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## Branding Opportunity (May 28, 2005)

The gaunt gentleman at the back raises his hand.  When he believes he has the speaker's attention he remarks, "Will there be death involved?"  After this he smiles encouraging, eager for an answer.


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## LogicsFate (May 28, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> "of goodness itself!" "or the monetary reward the Duke has authorized me to disburse." "Who's with me?!"




Hold on, cowboy. How about a few more details?


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## Lazlow (May 28, 2005)

*More designing tips from Ranti*

<Turning back to the lass behind the bar>

"Now where was I, oh yes, a nice gingham would look good on you and would bring out the rosy cheeks that you have and the brightness of your eyes. of course the green ribbon in your hair will have to go, it would clash, a bright red ribbon would add such ambiance to your demeanor. I think that you could also do with a nice cheery apple red apron and have the new curtains in the bar match and the table cloths could be a good tartan with a purple and red design."

With a bit of a befuddled look on her face, Muirna self-conciously preens her hair and brushes down her clothes.  "Well," she mutters, "It has been a while since I got a new outfit..."  But at the mention of a tartan she snaps back to life:  "NO!  No, no no no, no tartans.  Feargal's ludicrous accent is enough of that, thank you!"   With that, she bustles off to tend to the customers.

<Looking around again>

"Maybe some cushions and covers on the seats and even some shirts with the taverns logo sewn onto the from for the eployees. I think that would look wonderful. But we would have to decide what the logo is..."

<I appear to be talking to myself now>

"Maybe....Come to The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern and leave with a new outlook on life....or TOBOeSRDT it's not a bar, it's an adventure..."

Muirna, having returned with an armful of empty mugs and plates, sets them down behind the bar with a roll of her eyes.  "Designers... <sigh>"


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## Lazlow (May 28, 2005)

*Someone makes an impression on the townsfolk*

"Eh?  What?  Oh, yes, as it looks I will be spending at least one night here, it might be better to put it all together."

"Right-o."  She bustles off to tend to more customers.  The sun is well past setting now, and the tavern is starting to fill up and get busy.



> Satisfied that he has answered her questions, he proceeds to uncork the bottle of wine and pour himself a glass, seemingly oblivious to everything that goes on around him.  A few minutes into his meal, he reaches into a leather satchel he put down next to his chair and pulls out a book.  It is bound in dark-red leather, and carries the title, "The Intricacies of Torture and Execution: Professional Edition".  He holds the book in front of him with one hand, trying to catch the best light and uses his other hand to move his food and drink to his mouth.  A few times the subject matter of the book is so engrossing that he can't take his eyes from it, his wine glass held motionless inches from his lips.  After a moment, his arm begins to hurt and he quickly takes a sip, putting the glass back down afterwards.




The patrons nearby your table ignore you, for the most part...  That is, until you pull out your book.  A few glance at the cover and recoil just a bit when they read the title.  After a few minutes of engrossed reading, you notice that every single one of the townspeople around you have scooted their tables and chairs back about three feet from your own table.


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## Gray Shade (May 28, 2005)

Without hesitation, Sheriff Berserker Bill answers, "Aye, gaunt stranger! I believe there WILL be death involved. But only as much as necessary, with just a little more for good measure. If all goes well, it will be the death of others--those not affiliated with our party, most likely those who oppose our party. I forsee gruesome and violent deaths awaiting any who oppose us." He wipes a bit of froth from the corner of his mouth. "Assuming, of course that when challenged with physical violence, our cohesion remains strong and we . . . daring few have the strength to defend.  And kill."

He then looks over at the small, attractive woman in leather. "Details? Verily, details, indeed! Once a posse has been formed and dually-deputized, I will present all the details of the case so that every member can function to its fullest capacity, so that we all will support this quest, and if one were to imagine in one's head this worthy adventure as the body of a horse, and us five as its legs, well, a five legged horse would be sturdy indeed, yes. One more leg of . . ." he moves his hand like kneading dough with his fingertips and concentrates on it " . . . to balance and maintain."

He snaps his head up and finishes, "And from that: Our strength!" and seems satisfied he's responded to her question. He does however, squint past her, and say, "oh, I apologize, I trusted that man to be your Sergeant." He tries to point politely to get the man's attention. "You, sir, whether you be with the lady or not you are invited to join as well. Hel knows a party can always use beings skilled with sword and bow, yes? . . . er . . . sir?"


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## LogicsFate (May 28, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> "Details? Verily, details, indeed! Once a posse has been formed and dually-deputized, I will present all the details of the case so that every member can function to its fullest capacity
> "You, sir, whether you be with the lady or not you are invited to join as well. Hel knows a party can always use beings skilled with sword and bow, yes? . . . er . . . sir?"




Pointing to his star Do we get stars, too? 

She whispers in her companions ear. He turns and nods. 

Richard says yes! But only if I say yes, since he's my body gaurd.


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## Gray Shade (May 28, 2005)

"Outstanding!  He seems a grave and fearsome warrior--I recognize and honor his indebtedness to you.  You must have great status and be a fair mistress in order to command such fellowship.  I like Richard already, and respect you both greatly.  And yes, all volunteers get stars as part of their standard-issue deputy kit.  Careful with the badges, though; they carry the authority of the Duke with them, and with great power comes . . ." he fades off to barrel-rolling his fingers in the air "and so on."


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## Wystan (May 29, 2005)

I turn at the sound of the word Money:

"I am interested sir. I would very much like to show the 'Problem' a thing or two. I mean the people here do not seem interested in my discourse and do not seem interested in lifting themselves out of the drab dreary colors that they wear. I find myself short of funds and companions and would desire both. I am an able arm with a sword and look forward to assisting. I too would like a star as it would compliment the green necklace that I wear. However I still stress that a bath would not kill you."

I look to see if the soup and the bread have been brought yet..
If not I start to ask about it again....


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## Branding Opportunity (May 29, 2005)

"Count me in as well if death is involved," the gaunt man replies chearfully.  "I was hoping there would be some death."  He begins humming to himself and goes back to his reading.


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## Lazlow (May 29, 2005)

*Berserker Bill's Call To Arms!*



			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> The human with the badge claps Sunderkeg friendlily on the back as he moves past him and says loudly: "Thank you, wise and mighty Sunderkeg! I'm in town on an important mission. Sent by the Duke. I seek an item of power, which I must keep from falling into the wrong hands, but first I must find a stalwart band of adventurers to help me, for my plight is mightier than my singular might might be."




A happy little smile makes it's way across Sunderkeg's face as if to say, _Why, yes...  I *am* wise and mighty, aren't I...?_



> He pauses and the angle of his look goes a bit over everyone's head as he turns away from Sunderkeg and toward the tavern dwellers.




It seems to be that wherever you look, the people directly in your line of vision turn around or look away.

Stirring as your speech is, you're not exactly surprised that none of the townsfolk jump to accept your offer, even at the mention of the Duke's gold.


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## Lazlow (May 29, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> I look to see if the soup and the bread have been brought yet..
> If not I start to ask about it again....




During Berserker Bill's speech, Sunderkeg sets a bowl of thin-looking soup and a smallish piece of bread in front of you.  He fixes you with a friendly but steely glare, as if to say, "You're welcome...  For now."


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## LogicsFate (May 29, 2005)

How many people were you looking for, cause we count as two people referring to herself and Richard. 

And he is like a person referring to the elf maybe even two people 

eyes passing over the gaunt person 

and yourself referring to bill that makes five


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## Lazlow (May 31, 2005)

Branding Opportunity said:
			
		

> "Count me in as well if death is involved," the gaunt man replies chearfully.  "I was hoping there would be some death."  He begins humming to himself and goes back to his reading.




As Sunderkeg makes his way across the tavern to tend to his customers, he pauses to give a quizzical look at the now six-foot space between the gaunt man's table and the nearest patron...


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## Wystan (May 31, 2005)

"Thmmiss..ism smooe goo...soop..." (Sounds of Slurping and more slurping, and chewing bread)"Nwww whee neeed to get a" 
I put the spoon down and try to talk that way::
"As I was saying, We seem to have the basis of a group such as you are looking for right here. However I feel compelled to state that we would be much better off if we would co-ordinate our outfits so that our matching Uniforms could strike fear and recognition and maybe a bit of jealousy over our good taste into our enemies... We could try for a whole red and black motif, or green and white...does anyone have any preference and gold for me to aquire the materials needed to do this thing for the travelling personages that we will find ourselves being?"
I drink a bit more of the soup and eat a bit more of the bread::
"The gentleman that has been following me might make a mighty retainer for us, he could be loaded with a lot of items and caused to follow us with bright shiny baubles. We could take the mission and it will be a cake walk with my prowess, the ladies assets and minion, and the gaunt gentleman's outlook on removing breath from those around him."
I finish the soup and start to lick the bowl::
"Then of course in our smart matching uniforms we can go on to form the fiercest band of mercenaries that this land has ever seen. We could have a stronghold that we would of course color co-ordinate to our uniforms and a battle cry that allows our enemies to know that we are coming and they will flee before the terrible might that is us."
I finally stop talking for a second and look off into the distance.

I then proceed to pull out my small blank book and a quill and ink and start designing uniforms....


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## Lazlow (May 31, 2005)

*Sunderkeg's Map of Lizard Spit!*

Please to be clicking image for largeness




==================

OOC:  Sorry 'bout the delay, couldn't get to the hosting site over the long weekend


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## Ranger Rick (May 31, 2005)

This rattily dressed person just stares at a couple eating.  Completly oblivious to the surrounding events.


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## Lazlow (Jun 1, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> This rattily dressed person just stares at a couple eating.  Completly oblivious to the surrounding events.




The couple ignores you for the first minute or so...  Then slowly become more and more uncomfortable with your staring.  Finally the man waggles a piece of bread at you and tosses it past you, hoping to draw you away from their table.


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 1, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> The couple ignores you for the first minute or so...  Then slowly become more and more uncomfortable with your staring.  Finally the man waggles a piece of bread at you and tosses it past you, hoping to draw you away from their table.




Like a dog, the man's head follows the waggling bread.  Than follows the arcing flight as it crosses the room.  Deep in concentration he follows the bread as it bounces off the floor.  Before the bread stops, the watress is standing in front of him, blocking his view.  She asks him for his order, Looking down at the table than up to her face he drawls, "Hello mame, I....I...would ...like...a..t.t.tankkkk...a tankard of water please.  Thank you."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 1, 2005)

Berserker Bill gives thoughtful nods to the dapper warrior's verbal meanderings while obviously fascinated by his graceful Elven eating technique.  "Yes.  I see where your ability to speak vastly does indeed lead eventually to goals and schemes of grandeur.  However, I will not require any deputies to don specific uniforms outside the badge, which I will leave to each member's discretion."

With a wave of the hand at the elf, Berserker Bill says to Sunderkeg, "Get yon fairie more to eat--a pheasant or game hen of some sort."

As if perhaps illiterate, Berserker Bill pays no mind to the tome the gaunt stranger is reading and strolls over to clasp a huge hand on the man's shoulder and give him a slight shake of appreciation and comradery.  "Good man!"  He says to him.  "Studious!"  He motions Sunderkeg to get this man a beer.

Berserker Bill then looks over at the female next to Richard, and says, "Introductions all around would make this easier, and I find it ironic that the only one of you whose name I know has not spoken to me.  In any case, to join on this quest, I was thinking of Richard, you, the elf, this worthy man"  here he gives the skeletal stranger another clasp of the shoulder.  He then looks over to the man on all fours and finishes "and that poor soul."

He walks over to the man, removes some dry trail rations from his pack, and offers them to him.  "Are you stricken?"  He offers him the rest of his grog and turns back to the man with the book.  "Learned man, can you name this ailment, and perhaps prescribe a cure?  As is, he would make a feeble deputy."

He gives the man on all fours a long look then says loudly and slowly, as if speaking to someone very elderly or from a foreign land, "STAND, GOOD MAN!  HAVE YOU REASON?  DO YOU MASTER YOUR FACULTIES?"


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## Wystan (Jun 1, 2005)

Grey Shade said:
			
		

> With a wave of the hand at the elf, Berserker Bill says to Sunderkeg, "Get yon fairie more to eat--a pheasant or game hen of some sort."




At this I turn again::

"Look, how many times do I have to tell you to stop insulting me. I am an elf, not a faerie. Do you see wings? Do you see a really tiny person. Now I realize you may be lacking in education and grace, but again I say I am an Elf."

Look for the food he said to get me::

"I will gladly let it go as you have promised me some more of this wonderful food, however please make sure it is not flesh. I must say that I did not expect to find myself in this predicament. I am more than interested in going on your adventure. However, and I must stress this, the racial mistakes and slip-ups as to gender must cease."

At this point I look at the lady::

"I am sure that even a human like you could never mistake this beautiful specimen _(beautiful for a human at least)_ for a male. Even you must be able to use the basic body types to tell the difference. And I am sure that you would not mistake our lovely hostess _(lovely for a dwarf)_ for a human."

I look around at the folks he has pointed out::

"As to the prospect of uniforms it was made to allow us less leeway in hurting each other in a stressful combat type situation."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 1, 2005)

"*sigh* Again, fair Elf, no offense meant. Twas my understanding that Elf was a Faerie race, just as Water Weird is an Elemental race. I mean you no discredit and will not make this mistake again as it so insults you. Pray give me thine name, and it will be easier to discourse with you."

"As for uniforms: I find no fault with your offering uniforms, as you do seem to have . . . strong opinions on style, an area I myself admittadly lack knowledge of. In fact as a man of the law I would endorse such a thing, but will not force the others to 'aye' the proposal, and without the entire group wearing said beautiful clothing, one could not truly know the fineries as uniforms." He looks around to each of the group and continues, "thus, it seems proposed for a voting: shall the elf make us uniforms? Yay or Nay? To each a ballot. I will begin with Yay; however, since the mission is of such importance, we need to move out by morning and, I apologize sir Elf, but you will understand that even so important an aspect cannot impede our expiditious progress. Once the issue of uniforms is settled and the status of . . . " He looks at the poor soul sipping at a tankard of water, "potential members determined, we can get on with the deputizing and supplying."

Berserker Bill then moves to the bar for another drink and watches to see how the others react.


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## Wystan (Jun 1, 2005)

I turn Towards berserker Bill::

"Apology accepted. The name is Ranti, Ranti Akande. Elven Clothier and Warrior Master."

Looking at the people around me::

"So who amongst you will follow us into the jaws of sure death and great tales of adventure. Will will destroy those that seek to destroy us and provide them with wonderful gravecloths to mark their fall. We will then proceed to fulfill our destinies asthe greatest force this plane has ever known."

Look around for the food again::

"More of the food here would be wonderful. I am looking foward to the speedy service that they offer and the wondrous aromas that will be aroused in my palate. I can see eating at least 2 more bowls of the soup that they had and some greens and such..."


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## Lazlow (Jun 1, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> Like a dog, the man's head follows the waggling bread.  Than follows the arcing flight as it crosses the room.  Deep in concentration he follows the bread as it bounces off the floor.  Before the bread stops, the watress is standing in front of him, blocking his view.  She asks him for his order, Looking down at the table than up to her face he drawls, "Hello mame, I....I...would ...like...a..t.t.tankkkk...a tankard of water please.  Thank you."




"Um...  Sure thing hon, right away..." Muirna says with a quizzical look on her face.  She makes a *tch* sound with her teeth and sets off for the water.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 1, 2005)

"Very well, Ranti, Elven Clothier and Warrior Master. The first bonds of friendship are so forged, and ours shall be a friendship replete with righteous violence and high adventure." And here, in a touching moment, Sheriff Berserker Bill, man of the northern kingdoms and result of 9 generations of human Berserkers, offers his hand (wiped on a clean rag as well as he can) to one of that immortal race of honor and gentility, the Elven lord of panache and "that certain, I know not what", Ranti.

With an apologetic glance at Sunderkeg, Bill says, "Get Ranti what he desires, soup and greens, and pass the game hen or pheasant on to yon . . . man." (indicates Ranger Rick) "Perhaps he is in need of more sustenance."


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## Wystan (Jun 1, 2005)

I offer my hand and smile


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## Lazlow (Jun 1, 2005)

*Sunderkeg knows good customers when he sees 'em*

At all the mention of so much food, drink, and - strangely enough - adventure, Sunderkeg turns to Berserker Bill and says, "Quite the generous one, aren't ye?  I troost ye've got th' gold t' back up all yoor oorderin'...  Aye, I'll troost a man o' th' law."   His eyes narrow quickly as if to say, "I'll trust you - for now..." and this look is quickly replaced by a hearty smile and laugh.  "Let me clear a table for ye."

He walks over to a largish table at which are seated three dour-faced regulars.  "Clear off, ya louts," he says matter-of-factly, and picks up the table (!), moving it closer to a torch sconce by the wall.  He turns back, takes a look at the regulars sitting there mouths agape, looks purposefully at their chairs, then looks back at them.  They quickly stand up and take their chairs over to the table, then meld into the rest of the crowd.

"Aye, there y' are, m'lad," he says as he hurries back to the kitchen to fetch the food and drink.


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## LogicsFate (Jun 2, 2005)

*tear* That was beautiful, I mean emotions.... those are great.*sniff* 

You can call me K. And to the proposal of course I say, Yay! As long as it's altered to my partner and I's sense of style referring to his being very covered up and her not And it has a wide brimmed hat I would like a hat and I could use something to eat, though that doesn't matter to the proposal. Nor was it even directed toward you turning to sunderkeg I would like something to eat


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## Branding Opportunity (Jun 2, 2005)

The gaunt man in the rust-colored robes carefully places a bookmark in the small folio he has been reading, and places back in the bag next to him.  He carefully pays attention to the various forms of conversation going on around him.  When he feels there is a natural lull in the coversation he steeples his wraith-like fingers in front of him and leans forward.

"I am pleased to have found a group that incorporates so many vasts interests," he remarks.  "I will offer some introduction as well.  My name is truly unimportant, for I serve that which is larger than I, which is larger than all of us."  He stops for a moment, and you aren't sure if he has simply lost his train of thought, or just following a particular idea down a complicated avenue of speculation.  "But be that as it may, if you have the need to address me ... you may call me Speaker, for I speak for that which has no voice, only need."

He looks around to make sure that everyone has heard him, then continues.  "I desire neither material wealth, unless it allows me to help in my master's endless chore.  I am a servant."  The gaunt man then smiles generously at everyone.


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 2, 2005)

The man in patch work clothing that still needs mending, ignores the Speaker's speech as he focuses on the well dressed man's tunic.


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## Lazlow (Jun 2, 2005)

*The most regular of regulars arrives!*



			
				LogicsFate said:
			
		

> turning to sunderkeg I would like something to eat




"Certainly m' dear, certainly," Sunderkeg says as he and Muirna fill the table with bowls of soup, plates of fruits, vegetables, cheese, and bread, a couple of roast squabs, and various tankards of drink.

At this time a distant but clear bell rings out; if any of you had to venture a guess, you'd think it came from the vicinity of the city center you passed on your way into town.  As the bell rings, every patron in the tavern turns towards the front doors, where it opens slowly, as if it didn't quite have the strength to make it all the way.  Those townspeople who were situated in the center of the tavern scoot to either side, making a clear pathway through the room from the door to the bar.

Just when you wonder what in the world could be happening, the most amazingly decrepit-looking beast slowly meanders into the room.  This animal is old...  And bald...  It wears an eye-patch (which is strange for any manner of beast, much less this one)...  It has an air about it that, inexplicably, brings to mind the salty sea air...  It's shaggy coat of fur is red (although it is shot through with flecks of grey and white)...  And, most amazingly of all:  It is a dog.

As it creaks its way across the tavern floor, every patron it passes raises his or her drink in salute.  Punctuated by the resolute silence of the crowd, it seems like ages before it finally makes its way to the bar where it carefully hops (inasmuch as this ancient beast _can_ hop) up a few crates which were put there expressly to facilitate his way up to the top of the bar itself.  Once on top of the bar, this venerable canine turns toward one of the far corners of the room and lets out a plaintive *mmBYYAWRK! mmBYYAWRK!*, immediately after which the tavern turns toward the same corner and erupts in a cry of "To Berny!"  The dog immediately answers with another *mmBYYAWRK! mmBYYAWRK!*, and again the crowd lifts their voices in unison, turning back toward the bar, crying, "To Rufus!" and they drain their mugs, finishing with a hearty cheer, and The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog sloooooowly lowers himself down, props his chin on his forelegs, and keeps watch over his beloved people.


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## Wystan (Jun 2, 2005)

OOC: That was cute but painful....

::I turn to look at the dog::

"Now that is a splash of color is an otherwise colorless town. Someone needs to give this town a cheering up. However that is not me."

I turn back to the food and start eating the cheese and assorted greens, pushing the meats as far away from me as possible::

"Did you know that meat is bad for your complexion. It also leads to bad breath and poor taste in wine selection. My family learned this generations ago and now they are some of the best grape selectors in the kingdom. I see we have 3 yea votes on the uniforms, so Mr. Bill I would like to request an advance to purchase the required yardage of the uniforms. I can do hats and such and I will try to keep in mind the style requirments. K likes to have a lot show, Richard likes to have a little show, Speaker appears to like Robes, and the quiet easily distracted individual appears to like shinies. So no shinies on his outfit but lots on ours to keep him following us with our packs and such. Mr. Bill, what cut of uniform  would you like, and do we all agree that a basic black and royal blue with red highlights would be an acceptable choice for the unification of looks. This way when we are in the midst of battle we know that the royal blue is a good place to not aim. Hmmm, maybe bells as well..."

I proceed to eat more::

"I would asume that I need at least 30-50 gold depending on the cost, style, and amount of fabrics that they have available. I also think it might be wise to try to get matching gear for the horses. Hmmm. I need a horse as well... Does this mission provide a means of travel?"


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## Gray Shade (Jun 2, 2005)

Berserker Bill watches the dog enter with soulful eyes and raises his tankard to Rufus, but only smirks when the locals toast Berny.  Once the dog is settled, Bill approaches it, produces a small biscuit, and lets the animal eat it out of his hand while with the other hand he scruffs its bald, soft skin gently, first under its jaw then behind its ears. (OCC: I'll use Animal Handling, if it matters)  Bill then gives the dog a knowing smile and sits at the table Sunderkeg has offered.

"Thank you, Sunderkeg!  You are both a fearsome and congenial host."  With that, he slips the dwarf 20 gold to reassure him that his efforts are not in vain.

He then throws 50 gold to Ranti and says curtly, but with a smile, "Cape and kilt (38 waist).  NO BELLS: I must be able to approach silently when need be."  If anyone glances at his jingling spurs, he adds, "Those will be removed"  He tosses Ranti another 5 gold and nods at the man nearly in rags, "and get him something decent, but like you say not too shiny."

He turns to the others and says, "K., Speaker, very nice to be acquainted.  Please, sit with us and we will begin.  Richard, pray sit, sir.  Are you not hungry?"

Noticing that the one in tattered clothing still has not moved, Bill stands, pushes back another chair at the table, and guides the man to it (gently) and seats him.  He moves his head in order to force eye contact and says, "what is your name, friend?  Have you any skills to offer an adventuring party, or would you prefer to be left behind?"


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## Gray Shade (Jun 2, 2005)

Berserker Bill sudenly looks back at Ranti as if he just heard him.  "Horses?  Well, it will depend on how far we have to travel.  I will consult my maps and mission briefings.  If they are required, I will try to get riding ponies for any who do not already have a steed."

"And please: Sheriff Berserker Bill is my name.  You may call me Sheriff Bill (my proper title), Berserker Bill (my clan name) or, if you feel you know me well enough to address me as a brother, then Bill.  But I have renounced the title of Mr. in exchange for Sheriff.  Oh no, don't object!  Thank you, master clothier."


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## Wystan (Jun 2, 2005)

::Chewing::

"Hmmm...Red boots, Blue and red lower body, red cape, blue shirt with an icon....nah too overdone....Hmmmm...." 

take out my book and begin doodling again::


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 2, 2005)

Ignoring the walking of the dog, the man in patchwork clothing turns and looks at the yelping dog.  Loudly he announces, "ITS A DOGGY!  OH WHAT A CU...CUU....CUTE DOGGY IT IS............(silence).........WHAT... WHAT IS THE DOGGY'S NAME?  CAN I PET IT?"


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## LogicsFate (Jun 2, 2005)

Ooo, I get it now! watching the dog enter I guess that makes sense. I wonder if he'd like to go with us. 

Whispering in her partners ear they take seats at the table


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## Gray Shade (Jun 2, 2005)

Looking over Ranti's shoulder, Bill mutters, "Good, good.  Try blue cape and kilt.  A rich, deep blue to help with the shadows, and just touches of red to go with my scabbard . . ." Seeing that perhaps he advises a bit too much, he backs off.Then he looks over at the man in tattered clothing and sighs.  "I don't think this one's going to be any use to an adventuring group.  He doesn't even respond to direct questions."


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## Lazlow (Jun 2, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill watches the dog enter with soulful eyes and raises his tankard to Rufus, but only smirks when the locals toast Berny.  Once the dog is settled, Bill approaches it, produces a small biscuit, and lets the animal eat it out of his hand while with the other hand he scruffs its bald, soft skin gently, first under its jaw then behind its ears. (OCC: I'll use Animal Handling, if it matters)  Bill then gives the dog a knowing smile and sits at the table Sunderkeg has offered.




Rufus gratefully accepts the treat and the skritching, and even whimpers a bit when you leave.  (OOC:  Nice Animal Handling, there!)



> "Thank you, Sunderkeg!  You are both a fearsome and congenial host."  With that, he slips the dwarf 20 gold to reassure him that his efforts are not in vain.




At the sight of the money, Sunderkeg slaps you on the back and accepts it with a smile.  "Y' let me knoo if you need _anything_," he says with a conspiritorial wink.  "Anything 't all."  He moves back to the bar with sprightly step and says hello to Rufus.


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## Wystan (Jun 2, 2005)

::OOC if you are addressing Ranger Rick, you might want to say Patchwork and not tattered and he was not acting like a dog before::

I sit staring at my boo::

"....blue and purple.....ack cape....be green?...I must go look at the fabrics"


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## Lazlow (Jun 2, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> Ignoring the walking of the dog, the man in patchwork clothing turns and looks at the yelping dog.  Loudly he announces, "ITS A DOGGY!  OH WHAT A CU...CUU....CUTE DOGGY IT IS............(silence).........WHAT... WHAT IS THE DOGGY'S NAME?  CAN I PET IT?"




Muirna, setting some empty mugs down on the bar, turns to you and, unlike the patrons who couldn't be bothered to even give you some pity, gives you a look as she would a lost child (she's a very discerning type).  She helps you to your feet and over to the bar.  "His name is Rufus,"  she says very slowly and distinctly, "and I think he'd love for you to pet him."

However, once you approach Rufus, he looks you right in the eyes (with his one good eye) and bares some well-worn teeth.  He lifts his head slightly and the hackles on his back stand up.


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 2, 2005)

"wh...whh...whh...whhy thank you mame.  But I do not think he wants me to p..p...p...pet him."  He sure is purrdy.  I use to have a dog, but it was nothing like this one."   

The man in patchwork clothes goes and sits next to Ranti.  "Those are pretty drawings."


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## Wystan (Jun 2, 2005)

::Notices that my drawing is being watched::
"Thank you, what my good man would your name be? You appear to be interested in that which is around you. Your attention appears to flutter back and forth from active to passive. Do you have a trade?"
::Not stopping to listen again::

"Hmmmm. What would be a good fit on you? Maybe a loose robe or breeches and a vest.... I could always go for the loose cloak over a tighter outfit...."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 2, 2005)

OCC: I'm going into rage for the next paragraph.

Berserker Bill slaps the wrist of whoever he just put in the chair just as the man reaches for a turkey leg, since it is obviously not Ranger Rick's character, as he had intended.  Bill then grabs him however he can, while frothing at the mouth, eyes wild, and hefts him as high as he can, and walks out of the bar to toss him out in the street as far as he can.

He returns, brushing his hands together, breathing hard, a bit exhausted and sits back down. "Crimany, what's going on around here?" he says to no one. Then turns to the guy in PATCHWORK clothing (sorry) and says, "So, what's yer name, and what'cha haulin'? Have a drink."


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## Lazlow (Jun 2, 2005)

*An imposter revealed!!!  (Not really)*



			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> OCC: I'm going into rage for the next paragraph.
> 
> Berserker Bill slaps the wrist of whoever he just put in the chair just as the man reaches for a turkey leg, since it is obviously not Ranger Rick's character, as he had intended.  Bill then grabs him however he can, while frothing at the mouth, eyes wild, and hefts him as high as he can, and walks out of the bar to toss him out in the street as far as he can.
> 
> He returns, brushing his hands together, breathing hard, a bit exhausted and sits back down. "Crimany, what's going on around here?" he says to no one. Then turns to the guy in PATCHWORK clothing (sorry) and says, "So, what's yer name, and what'cha haulin'? Have a drink."




The few patrons who bother to watch this spectacle do so with wide eyes, and as you walk back into the bar they quickly turn back to their tables.

Seeing you throw, literally, one of his customers out of the tavern, Sunderkeg walks over to you with a grim look on his face.  He holds a breath, clasps your shoulder, and after a short pause, says, solemnly and in a whisper:  "Thank ye fer dooin what I cannae do meself.  That soddin' lout owes me a week's pay, 'e does."

===============

OOC:  Nice way to handle that!


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 3, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> ::Notices that my drawing is being watched::
> "Thank you, what my good man would your name be? You appear to be interested in that which is around you. Your attention appears to flutter back and forth from active to passive. Do you have a trade?"
> ::Not stopping to listen again::




"Tr...tr...tra..tra..trade...well I ..I...I...I...I have n...n...n....n...n...noth...th...th...th...no th...I have no trade to trade."




			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> He returns, brushing his hands together, breathing hard, a bit exhausted and sits back down. "Crimany, what's going on around here?" he says to no one. Then turns to the guy in PATCHWORK clothing (sorry) and says, "So, what's yer name, and what'cha haulin'? Have a drink."




"Hau...Hau..hauling?  I cary nothing but me.  I ..I...I...I am drinking wa...wa...water.  I am called Desert"


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## Wystan (Jun 3, 2005)

"Would you be called desert because your reparte is so dry and vast and you have such an expanse of..."

I seem to be at a loss of words...SO I go back to doodling::


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## LogicsFate (Jun 3, 2005)

And who gave you the name, Desert?


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 3, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> And who gave you the name, Desert?





"It was my father's name.  I have an uncle named Forrest and an aunt named river."


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## LogicsFate (Jun 3, 2005)

Well that clears up who everyone is... now what?


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 3, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> Well that clears up who everyone is... now what?




"No...no...no...no...it...it...doesn't.  Th....th....there are many people in this room."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 4, 2005)

*That's it?  That's it.*

"Er, sure, but I think it's okay if we let the locals to their business in peace, eh, Desert? Your family's got lovely, gentle names. I'm sure you're all lovely, gentle souls. Would you like to come with us, Desert? We seek to . . ." Berserker Bill makes a fist in front of himself as if grabbing the very air by it's collar and shaking it down " . . . vanquish evil forces and cast them aside. But if that does not appeal to you, then consider that along the way we may find personal fortunes." When that doesn't seem to impress him, Bill nods over toward Ranti, "he's going. You wanna follow him don't you? He's awful shiny."

"And the way you threw that table about, we're all sure of your strength. Do you know how to use a sword? Or axe? Perhaps a glaive-guisarme? Perhaps you could just help out where you can."

"In any case, I will go ahead and deputize you all now."

Berserker Bill then abruptly leaves the tavern, only to return a moment later carrying a saddlebag. He clears space on the table, sets it down, opens it, and pulls out 5 sacks and distributes them one to each person at the table (Ranti, Speaker, K., Richard, and Desert). He then pulls a similar bag from his own backpack.

"What you have before you, honorable friends, is a bag containing most everything you will need to operate as a Deputy in the high Duke's sheriff force. Soon, you will be enabled, NAY, [highlight]obligated[/highlight] to enforce the laws and governances thereof. As for learning what the laws, bylaws, and such all are, well, you'll have to head to Delm's Heap, the very seat of Duke Sahazarred's power and high bureaucracy, and seek the legal arm of governance in the third sub-basement of the twenty-third tower, in the second district. There you will find a Sergeant of Papers named Wallace and his Deputy-Barrister Gromit. They are the keepers of the book of law."

"If, however, you do not wish to make such a journey, as I hope you don't because we're in a hurry and I don't think I'd be here to deputize you when you got back some time late next week, then just use your common sense. When in doubt: ask me if I'm around, I've been doing this for years." 

"Now for the ceremony." He moves a nearby candle to the middle of the table, places a small vial down in front of himself from his pack and uncorks it. He takes a deep cleansing breath and closes his eyes. He opens one a little and looks at everyone. "You can hold hands, but you don't have to." With a tap on the top of the vial, he looks through his slit eye at Richard and says, "Don't worry--just pure, mountain spring water."

He then takes a foot long twig from his backpack, lights it on the candle and without a look throws it over his shoulder as it billows a choking thick smoke. In a quick movement and flick of the wrist, he grabs the vial and splashes it over everyone at the table. It is cool and refreshing, like the mist of a mountain stream. "ALLALLLAAAAA!!!!" he chants, then utters the words passed down from generation to generation in the Duke's Royal Sheriff's Agency: "sdaf a h uha fuiog ahgu rg ugn vjknljkzvn a! dksjf iuhg ew78 w47t gh84jsnv !!" He pauses to peek through a slitted eye at K. and adds "sdaf dfifjbiitr8 89uyRufus" then with eyes closed, "ghh jg nvdpolb boi!"

*OOC this is obviously a language other than common. I dunno who speaks what. Some of you may recognize bits and pieces. Lazlow, see spoiler, no one else, though, please*

After that he wipes sweat from his brow, looks at Speaker and says, "whew! Doin' ceremonies is tough mental work." He then takes a pen (with ink) and a small scrap of paper from his bag. He hands it to K., and says "Write your name and title on it and pass it around, pretty thing. Everyone, please do the same. I'll add the official seal and signature and send this in to the office by carrier pigeon for registering."

He then brushes his hands together and takes another deep breath. "That's it. You're all in. Congratulations. Normally, you'd all have to . . . you're in! All right!"

[sblock]Lazlow, please mark one smokestick and the vial of pure, mountain water off my character sheet. Also, Bill was speaking Giant and Undercommon, alternating the languages every three words. What he said was: "Might the might of the manly Duke's men at arms arms be in our arms, and with might may the smite! And may we be granted the wisdom and blindness of justice!" After the pause, he added, "Dang, she's hot, eh, Rufus? . . . but she ain't the one."[/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Jun 4, 2005)

"Now. If you'll each open your deputy kit, you'll find the following." Here, he opens his bag and narrates as he removes items one at a time.

"Your badge of course. It's silver *ahem*colored*ahem* and is the proof to citizens of you authority. When wearing, try to maintain your command presense. Do not let anyone get the best of you while you wear this. And under no circumstances are you to panic while wearing this badge. Remember," he indicates his own badge on his strap, "this is what keeps us humanoid." He stops with his hand reaching for the next item and adds, "and don't try to throw it like a throwing star. It won't work. It will only embarrass you, especially don't do it in front of your fiance's family. Crap. What else is in here?"

"You should also find a signal whistle, on a lanyard." He indicates the lanyard (rope necklace) and then puts it around his neck. "If there is trouble, and you cannot handle it on your own, blow in this. This is very important when you are on watch or patrol, but NOT to be used when sneaking or when a companion is sneaking, unless the trouble is very bad and you panic, which you won't do. If you hear a whistle," he blows whistle, "run toward the sound and assist as you can. I try to start by saying, 'what is the trouble? how may I be of assistance?' You can say what you like, but those are proven as combat ready. When you use the whistle, try to blow 3 times. Do not suck. That, too, is just embarrassing."

"Let's see . . . you also have a quarter pound bar of soap. I think Ranti will appreciate this. Despite his first impression of me, I try to stay clean. As a representative of the Duke, you will be expected to be hygenic. I don't think I need to say anything more about that." He tosses the bar of soap he was holding in front of Richard and continues.

"Silvered Dagger. Important for many reasons. Good against werewolves, ghosts, lycanthropes . . . uh . . . elementals, I think. All kinds of stuff. Basically, if the regular stuff isn't working, try this baby."

"Cube of wood. This is about 4 inches each side. You can use it for whatever you need to. It's nice for whitling on while you're on a long trip. Goes hand in hand with the dagger, see?" He whitles a curl of wood off the block. "You could also whittle maybe a door stop or something that might be useful . . . maybe a . . . It's not really big enough to carve a wooden stake out of, but I think silvered daggers work on vampires, so we shouldn't need that anyway."

"This is all standard-issue stuff. Uh . . . oh! You got a whetstone, of course. To keep your dagger sharp. You can use that on pretty much any edged weapon."

"Nice, thick pair of wool socks. Just in case we find ourselves somewhere cold."

"Piece of chalk. This is good for both drawing on rocks or tables." Here he tries to draw a line on the table to illustrate, but there's beer perspiration and it doesn't really draw. He tries a few more times until it makes a white mark. "Like so. Easy. You could draw a map, or a monster you saw, or a dog you saw the monster eat, or whatever. Also, if we get caught in any kind of maze: this! THIS is what you'll want more than anything . . . and, as deputies, you'll have it."

"That's about it, really. Oh, and the sack itself. Very important for carrying loo-er, evidence. Good sturdy sack for each of us, because carrying capacity becomes SO important."

"Now, of course you'll want to supplement all this with your personalized gear, weaponry and armor. But I urge you all not to overlook the items which can become so much more useful than a sword . . . heh . . . well, not more useful than a SWORD really, but you know, useful. Some people like the 10 foot pole, some like the pitons, the rope, grappling hook, so on, so on. Myself, I trust in the bucket." He shows off a very nice, sturdy bucket. He kisses its side. "This bucket's saved my life. It will again."

"And here's your money." He then pulls out 5 bags of gold. "This is for your time and talents. There's 200 in each bag. Once we've retrieved what we're looking for, and it's out of evil hands, you'll get twice that on top of it."

"We're going after a magical device called the Chromium Orb of Frobozz. It's hidden underground near Lizard Spit. Now, I know the general direction, and I know we're gonna have to go through the goblins that have been terrorizing this town. I also know that this may get ugly, but if you take my money and deputy kit and I don't see you here in the morning it's going to get even uglier. I am a member of the tracking corps, that's how I got here. So if you're in, you're in, and you'll be ready tomorrow to head through goblins and underground to protect this item from evil hands and protect the citizenry of this fine Dukedom . . . also from evil hands. All those who are in, swear fealty to the Duke. Then I'll hand out the cash and you can do some shopping to prepare."

He stops and awaits responses.

OOC: Each Deputy kit weighs 3 pounds, and I might not be in until Tuesday, so once your character swears, if Lazlow's okay with it, you've got the money and you're free to shop about the town. Enjoy!


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## LogicsFate (Jun 4, 2005)

Hmm? O sorry. Finishing prestidigition tricks She looks up and waits, piecing together what she may or may not have heard. Um... yeah, fealty, evil hands, and goblins, yeah sure. grabbing a signle whistle and putting it down her top and grabbing both stars, pinning them on Richards left breast. and the center point of her top. tossing one over Richards shoulder and one pack over her own.. *giggle* I could get use to thiss.


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## LogicsFate (Jun 4, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> "No...no...no...no...it...it...doesn't. Th....th....there are many people in this room."




Yeah... but everyone else is sooo depressing


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 4, 2005)

Desert takes the badge and attaches it to his robe.  He takes the block of wood and examines it than packs it.  He sets the whet stone and dagger next to each other on the table in front of him.  He examines the whistle and then blows it.  Than he packs its.

He starts to sharpen the dagger.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 4, 2005)

Berserker Bill smiles wide. "That's the spirit, Desert! Good to have you aboard, K. and Richard."


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 6, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill smiles wide. "That's the spirit, Desert! Good to have you aboard, *K.* and Richard."





Desert turns around and looks at S.B. Bill, "OK mister sheriff Bill"Reaching into the pack, he pulls out a whistle and softly blows it.


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## Lazlow (Jun 6, 2005)

*Shopping time!*



			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> OOC: Each Deputy kit weighs 3 pounds, and I might not be in until Tuesday, so once your character swears, if Lazlow's okay with it, you've got the money and you're free to shop about the town. Enjoy!




OOC:  Not a problem, and I'm sure everyone enjoys a shopping spree.  Be sure to refer to Sunderkeg's map of Lizard Spit on where to get what (any questions, ask him).

LogicsFate, Branding Opportunity, Ranger Rick, Wystan:
[sblock]Sherriff Bill's story seems to check out - as far as any of you can tell.  That is to say, even though you're all from different regions, you have indeed heard of Duke Sahazarred, who does indeed live in Delm's Heap.[/sblock]

LogicsFate:
[sblock]Thanks to your extensive academic training, you think that parts of Sherriff Bill's strange chant was spoken in the language of giants, although it seemed to be interspersed with another language that you do not recognize.[/sblock]


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## Wystan (Jun 6, 2005)

"Ah, an endeavor that strikes to my very core, except the killing goblins and going underground and all the sundry and related doing of nasty things. But the soap and the badge are kind of nice. As is the Silvered Dagger. 
I proceed to stare off into space for a few moments...
Title...Title...Ranti Akande, Warrior of the Western Wastes and Sword Slinger of the Ka-tet of 19. Now to go to the clothier and see about getting a Whole lot of matching fabrics...."

I proceed to spend 3-4 minutes looking for the perfect place to pin the Star and also put the sack into my haversack. I then proceed to eat a bit more.
"I will return"
I stand and start to head for the door...

(For the GM)
[sblock] I would like to head to the clothier and look for 14-16 yards of Blue, Red, and Black Fabrics. I will also be looking for a good pair of shears and a sewing kit of Good quality.[/sblock]


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## LogicsFate (Jun 6, 2005)

Earlier when you said title, Did you mean like, for me Ne*polite cough* Wizardress K or Deputy K, or can I make up one? Like Supreme Lord of All Creation, Master of Life and Death, Purveyor of the Arcane Arts, Empress K! Hmm SLAoCMoLaLPotAAEK.


OOC

[sblock]*looks suspiciously at Ranger Rick* When you quoted GS in post 85 you underlined my character's name... I suppose that was an accident? and for that matter changed it's color. [/sblock]


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## LogicsFate (Jun 6, 2005)

Nope I don't need anything except some food and water for the trip


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## Lazlow (Jun 6, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> (For the GM)
> [sblock] I would like to head to the clothier and look for 14-16 yards of Blue, Red, and Black Fabrics. I will also be looking for a good pair of shears and a sewing kit of Good quality.[/sblock]




Wystan:
[sblock]Okey dokey, I'll get to that in a bit.[/sblock]

Durrr, it helps if you get the tags right...   :\


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 6, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> [/color][/font]OOC
> 
> [sblock]*looks suspiciously at Ranger Rick* When you quoted GS in post 85 you underlined my character's name... I suppose that was an accident? and for that matter changed it's color. [/sblock]





OOC:  I tried to highlight it to make one realize that in hearing "K" The PC thinks he said 'OK'.  Expect more of that, k?


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## LogicsFate (Jun 7, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> OOC: I tried to highlight it to make one realize that in hearing "K" The PC thinks he said 'OK'. Expect more of that, k?




OOC [sblock] K [/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Jun 7, 2005)

"Er, well, when I ask for your name and title on the paper, I just mean what you go by, so that once in the Duke's registry the government will be able to recognize you and news of you.  If you do not have a title, then I'm not sure if you can make one up or not.  Some are formal, like "Sir", "Lord", "Duke" etc., and some are more informal, such as "Dragon Slayer", "Saver of Maidens", "Giver of Hope", "Eater of Sandwiches" etc."

"It's really your choice what you put down there.  I just wouldn't want you to lose out when you report to Delm's Heap in the future for your monthly spending allotment."

"Also, I've given further thought to the journey, and I don't believe we will need mounts.  We should be able to walk to where we need to go, and since we will be journeying underground, I would caution against bringing a steed, since we may have to leave them in goblin-infested lands when we go delving.  On that note, if you are missing rations for a few days, those may be good to buy and bring, and if you are missing a light source, that may be helpful as well."

"I am well provided already, so I am going to sit and enjoy a few more drinks, then head over to . . . er, what was that place called, Sunderkeg?  The hotel place for the night, for a good rest."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 7, 2005)

Berserker Bill excuses himself from the table and heads to the bar to refill his mug.  There he steps close to Muirna and talks to her.

Lazlow:

[sblock]Bill asks for more drink.  Once she's filled the mug, he says "I hope Sunderkeg doesn't keep you working this hard every night."  He tips her a platinum piece, gives her his friendliest smile and says, "talk to me for a second, would you?"   Assuming she does, he continues "On the way to your lovely town, I heard rumor of a great hero coming to Lizard Spit.  Now, I would trust the words of a lady such as yourself much more than the ragamuffins who spoke to me in roadhouses on the way here, so I ask you: have you heard any news of such?  I wonder if it is perhaps this Sir Dudley, I saw the statue of outside.  What DID ever become of him?"  Also, Bill will throw in a pat on the head for Rufus.[/sblock]


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 7, 2005)

Upon hearing the need for light sources, Desert gets up packs the Deputy pack the way it was.  He stands up and goes to Besker Bill, shakes his hand and says, "M....M....Mi....Mister Share...Share...Share...Sherifffff...ffff.... Mister Sheriff Bill, I...I...I...I... will b...b....b....b....be right b...b.....b....b....back.  I ...I...I...I...will go get some light because I...I...I...I...have problems at night.  Yes sir I...I...I...I... will b...b....b....b....be right back.  Will you b...b....b....b....be here?  If not I...I...I...I...I... can meet you some where."  He than lets go of Bill's hand and leaves to go buy some sunrods.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 7, 2005)

Before Desert leaves, Berserker Bill will reassure him "Okay, Desert.  Sounds good.  I'll be here for another hour or two."


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## Lazlow (Jun 7, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> ". . . er, what was that place called, Sunderkeg?  The hotel place for the night, for a good rest."




"Weel, ye've got either th' Grey Minstrel Inn next door - m' parsonal recommendation - or th' Water Weasel, which I, er, wouldnae recommend.  There's also Farlaghn's Respite jest on the ootskarts o' toon.  They dinnae charge a room fee, but rather charge ye a bit o' labor for th' trooble."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 8, 2005)

"Thanks, Sunderkeg.  Grey Minstrel it is."


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## LogicsFate (Jun 8, 2005)

That settles that, I'll go buy some trail mix, and meet you at the GM. K jots down "Richard Kurgoth Sinclair and K". check, check. 

She leaves Come on, Richard. 


 Three seconds later she comes bursting through the door Oops, almost forgot grabbing her special, tapping it on the table once and downing it in a quick drawl.


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## Lazlow (Jun 8, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill excuses himself from the table and heads to the bar to refill his mug.  There he steps close to Muirna and talks to her.
> 
> Lazlow:
> 
> [sblock]Bill asks for more drink.  Once she's filled the mug, he says "I hope Sunderkeg doesn't keep you working this hard every night."  He tips her a platinum piece, gives her his friendliest smile and says, "talk to me for a second, would you?" [/sblock]




Gray Shade:
[sblock]"Well, hard work's good for th' soul, now innit?" she says, biting the platinum piece and squinting at it for a second before slipping it into an inner pocket of her dress.  "Good for me purse, too..." she finishes, with a wink.

"On the way to your lovely town, I heard rumor of a great hero coming to Lizard Spit. Now, I would trust the words of a lady such as yourself much more than the ragamuffins who spoke to me in roadhouses on the way here, so I ask you: have you heard any news of such? I wonder if it is perhaps this Sir Dudley, I saw the statue of outside. What DID ever become of him?" Also, Bill will throw in a pat on the head for Rufus.

Rufus nuzzles you obligingly, then settles his weary frame down to sleep.

"Ah yes, Sir Dudley.  Well, if anyone's been a True Hero to this town, it would be him.  I was but a wee lass - which wasn't that long ago, mind you," she says with a sharp look in your eyes - "when he saved the town from that green dragon.  Aye, smote him down the cliff into the sea, he did.  And so easily, too!  He's not the patron Paladin of Lizard Spit for nothin', you know.  Good thing he was here, too, because the Mining Coster, they wouldn't've done spit about it, and it was all their fault!"

She looks around the top of the bar, takes a swig from a random mug and continues.  "As for where Dudley's been lately, well, he left a couple of months ago for his order's annual gathering.  The famous 'Paladins Assembled to Lead Against Chaos or Neutrality'.  You know, the PALACON.  Goes to it every year, although he usually doesn't stay this long...  But, I'm sure he'll be back soon.  Although...  Now that I think about it, he did leave in an awful hurry."  She pauses thoughtfully, then says, "Some people might read something into that," she says, eyeing you with a look that undoubtedly leaves you feeling as if you should read something into that.[/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Jun 8, 2005)

Berserker Bill seems to be having a fine time chatting with Muirna at the bar.

Lazlow:
[sblock]Berserker Bill nods at Muirna's mention of her age, implying that of COURSE it hasn't been that long ago.  When she drinks from his mug, which he apparently didn't grab quite quick enough, he keeps a smile on his face as he picks it up and nurses it.

"How's a green dragon the Mining Coster's fault?  And what's the Mining Coster?  And I wonder what someone could read into Sir Dudley leaving so quickly and staying so late . . . perhaps the Mining Coster frightened him, er, I mean, ATTEMPTED to frighten him in some way, perhaps with another dragon . . . hmm . . . I would really like to meet this Sir Dudley, True Hero that he is.  You see, I've assembled a posse to locate an item that could cause terrible damage to the good people of Lizard Spit, and I'm just sure that he'd be keen on joining us if I could find him."[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 9, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill seems to be having a fine time chatting with Muirna at the bar.
> 
> Lazlow:
> [sblock]Berserker Bill nods at Muirna's mention of her age, implying that of COURSE it hasn't been that long ago.  When she drinks from his mug, which he apparently didn't grab quite quick enough, he keeps a smile on his face as he picks it up and nurses it.
> ...




Muirna seems to be having a fine time gossiping with Berserker Bill.

GS:
[sblock]"Well," she says conspiratorially, seemingly unfazed by your slew of questions (on the contrary, she seems very pleased), "it's not ever been proven, really, but everyone's quite sure that the Lizard Spit Mining Coster - big building in the center of town, has the mayor in their pocket, you know - they got a little too greedy, and dug a little too deep, and found themselves in the dragon's lair.  Dragon didn't like it and started terrorizing the town, killing and razing at first, but ultimately just demanding periodic tribute.  Nearly sucked the town dry, it did, and nearly put the coster out of business.  But then along comes Sir Dudley, who slew the dragon, and, well, here we are.  It's how the town got the name, actually.  Well, the _official_ name is _Lizard's Pit_, due to the mine, but it sound's like Lizard Spit, and, well, you've seen the weather.  It fits.

"As far as meeting Sir Dudley, well, like I said, he's at PALACON, or at least was.  Or should have been...  But even so, he doesn't actually live here.  He visits quite often, but his manor house is over in Delm's Heap.  You might check with Phyfe, Captain of the Town Guard.  He works with Sir Dudley on occasion.  Al might know, too.  Al the Wizard.  Friend of Berny's, there."  She motions over toward the far corner - which, you notice, is rather dark, save for a faintly shimmering globe of light, or energy, or both, inside of which you can barely make out the seated image of an old man with a long beard, dressed in robes and a tall pointed hat.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 9, 2005)

*Okey dokey*

OOC:  Who's doing what?  I know some of you want to do some shopping, and some don't.  Let me know if your character is leaving the tavern or turning in for the night or whatever and we'll start into that.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 9, 2005)

Berserker Bill finishes his gossiping with Muirna with a smile and a pat on her hand and then heads into a dark corner of the bar.

[sblock]"Ahhh . . . yes.  And who was Berny again?"  No matter how she responds, Bill will nod as if he's figuring it out and then say, "Ah, yes, of course.  Thanks, Muirna, you're a peach!  I'd heard you were knowledgable, but you're just the bee's knees!  Give me one of whatever Al likes to drink or eat, if you would please."  While she's preparing that, Berserker Bill rewards Muirna for her help in a way that he imagines she will like best--with any gossip he's picked up on the way to town or that he heard in Delm's Heap before leaving, all presented as hard fact, of course.  He'll then salute her with his drink, give her a friendly and flirtatious pat on the back of the hand, and head off to see Al, carrying whatever Muirna's given him to offer as tribute.

Once nestled in the darkness and dramatically fore-lit by the shimmering globe, Berserker Bill will raise his tankard in salute, put down his offering on the table, and say, "Ho and salutations, Al the Wizard!  I seek assistance, and hear that you may be the incomparable vessel which holds the knowledge to assist me.  I beg a moment of your precious time."  Bill then nods questioningly at a seat at the table.  If Al offers (verbally or with hand gesture or nod) Bill will sit.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 9, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill finishes his gossiping with Muirna with a smile and a pat on her hand and then heads into a dark corner of the bar.




As Berserker Bill leaves, Muirna dashes off around the room, tending to the customers.  Due to her intense smile and energy, she looks as if she's about to burst at the seams.

GS:
[sblock]"Ahhh . . . yes.  And who was Berny again?" 

"Berny Fosgoode.  I suppose he's still the owner of the Tavern here, technically.  Feargal - " at this point, Sunderkeg walks by and give Muirna a sharp frown in passing - "er, sorry - _Sunderkeg_ was - is - his partner, and originally just handled all the brewing.  Berny didn't do much in the way of work, really, but we didn't mind, we loved him just the same.  Now that Berny's, um...  _Stepped out_, Feargal runs the whole show.  With my help, of course, and Olaf's.  We all expect Berny to come back from the astral plane any day now.  It's been a few years, but...  Well, any day now."  She smiles at Berny over in the corner and laughs, a laugh that seems to say, _Enough's enough, you old coot, come out of there._

"Ah, yes, of course.  Thanks, Muirna, you're a peach!  I'd heard you were knowledgable, but you're just the bee's knees!  Give me one of whatever Al likes to drink or eat, if you would please."

"Well, can't rightly say what he likes, as he rarely comes in here.  Hardly ever leaves his dome, as a matter of fact, except to go to the Coster building or maybe the temple.  His dome's about a two miles north of town, just follow the north road and you'll see it.  Good luck talking to him, though, he doesn't usually take callers."



> ...Berserker Bill rewards Muirna for her help in a way that he imagines she will like best--with any gossip he's picked up on the way to town or that he heard in Delm's Heap before leaving, all presented as hard fact, of course.  He'll then salute her with his drink, give her a friendly and flirtatious pat on the back of the hand, and head off to see Al, carrying whatever Muirna's given him to offer as tribute.




Muirna listens with rapt attention, drinking in every single word and delighting in even the most trivial detail.  As soon as you're done, she darts off around the room, delivering food and drink, being sure to pass on all her new-found knowledge to her girlfriends.



> Once nestled in the darkness and dramatically fore-lit by the shimmering globe, Berserker Bill will raise his tankard in salute, put down his offering on the table, and say, "Ho and salutations, Al the Wizard!  I seek assistance, and hear that you may be the incomparable vessel which holds the knowledge to assist me.  I beg a moment of your precious time."  Bill then nods questioningly at a seat at the table.  If Al offers (verbally or with hand gesture or nod) Bill will sit.




In light of the explanations above, I take it you don't actually do this...?[/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Jun 9, 2005)

Seeming satisfied with whatever's in the dark corner, Bill stops by the table to answer any last questions (OOC: perhaps retroactively, Lazlow willing, since my companions are off-line right now). Assuming that everyone's put their "mark" (name) on the paper, Bill takes it. If anyone hasn't listed their name, Bill guesses as well as he can. He rolls up the paper, takes his saddlebags and gear and with a final, "It was nice to meet you all, and I look forward to working with you. Get some good rest. It'll be a long day tomorrow," he heads outside.

Lazlow:

[sblock] OOC: WHOOOPS! I blinked and misunderstood. I thought you were describing Al in the corner, but it's Berny's spirit or whatever in the globe. I see now. Sorry.

Well, anyway, Bill will still go in the corner and check out the globe and see if it reminds him of who he suspects it may remind him of (OOC: it is who I think it is, right?). If the sphere is floating, he'll wave his hand under it to check for wires, if it's not, he'll put his hand behind it to look at the glow, either way he'll give a thoughtful, "huh!" then move back to the table.

Once outside, he will gather his horse, make sure it's been fed and watered at the stables (if it hasn't, he'll feed and water it now), and head out to Al's place. He'll try to get there without any trouble, and he'll keep an eye out for signs of goblins (OOC: use tracking, survival, etc.). If it seems like there's a LOT of goblins around (more than 4-5) or larger creatures (like, I don't know, maybe . . . owlbears), he'll turn back, stable his horse and head for the Grey Minstrel. If not, he'll continue on and see if he can visit with Al that night.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 9, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Seeming satisfied with whatever's in the dark corner, Bill stops by the table to answer any last questions (OOC: perhaps retroactively, Lazlow willing, since my companions are off-line right now). Assuming that everyone's put their "mark" (name) on the paper, Bill takes it. If anyone hasn't listed their name, Bill guesses as well as he can. He rolls up the paper, takes his saddlebags and gear and with a final, "It was nice to meet you all, and I look forward to working with you. Get some good rest. It'll be a long day tomorrow," he heads outside.




For those who care to watch Berserker Bill, in watching him over in the darkened corner of the tavern, you see a large, faintly shimmering globe of light, inside of which sits a wizened old man with a long white beard, dressed in robes and a tall pointy hat.  Putting two and two together, you realize that this is probably the "Berny" fellow that the patrons toasted when Rufus the dog walked in earlier.  (OOC:  The globe is indicated on the tavern map as the yellow circle in the bottom right corner.)

GS:

[sblock] 







> OOC: WHOOOPS! I blinked and misunderstood. I thought you were describing Al in the corner, but it's Berny's spirit or whatever in the globe. I see now. Sorry.



  Not a problem.  It's actually Berny's body in the globe, his spirit is what's 'stepped out'.



> Well, anyway, Bill will still go in the corner and check out the globe and see if it reminds him of who he suspects it may remind him of (OOC: it is who I think it is, right?). If the sphere is floating, he'll wave his hand under it to check for wires, if it's not, he'll put his hand behind it to look at the glow, either way he'll give a thoughtful, "huh!" then move back to the table.



It's who you think it is; see above.



> Once outside, he will gather his horse, make sure it's been fed and watered at the stables (if it hasn't, he'll feed and water it now), and head out to Al's place. He'll try to get there without any trouble, and he'll keep an eye out for signs of goblins (OOC: use tracking, survival, etc.). If it seems like there's a LOT of goblins around (more than 4-5) or larger creatures (like, I don't know, maybe . . . owlbears), he'll turn back, stable his horse and head for the Grey Minstrel. If not, he'll continue on and see if he can visit with Al that night.




You ensure that your horse is fed and watered and head towards the North road.  However, before you get very far, you notice a blockade across the road at the city's edge.  A couple of guards manning the blockade tell you that all night travel needs to be cleared with the Captain of the Town Guard, due to the "encroaching goblin menace".  He gladly offers that if you talk with the Captain in the morning, you should be able to get an intracity night travel permit within a week.[/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Jun 10, 2005)

Lazlow:

[sblock]Berserker Bill will thank the guards and add, "You're doing superb work, men.  Outstanding!  I WILL seek out your captain in the morning, and I'll make sure to note your politeness and efficiency.  Keep up the good work."  Once done, Bill will take his horse back to the stable and pay the hands there to take good care of 'Horse' for him.  He'll pay for five days and nights and give a modest tip (don't want everyone in town knowing I've got money-that's just asking to get robbed, but I do want some loyalty, eh?; modest tip = couple copper).  That done, he'll take all his saddlebags and gear off Horse and take it with him to the Grey Minstrel (don't want any badges walking off at night).

Once there, he'll seek the master or mistress of the Inn and inquire about lodging.[/sblock]


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 10, 2005)

OOC:  When would Desert get back from his shopping?


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## Wystan (Jun 10, 2005)

For the GM:

[sblock] I go to the clothier and seek those clothes and the Sewing kit. If these is any left I place it in a pocket to give back to Berzerker Bill. Then I proceed to wander the town for a bit looking for interesting Kitsch (Crap) that cathes my eyes for gifts for each of the other characters...If you can give me a list of touristy type crap that I find I would appreciate that.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 10, 2005)

Gray Shade:

[sblock]"You're doing superb work, men.  Outstanding!  I WILL seek out your captain in the morning, and I'll make sure to note your politeness and efficiency.  Keep up the good work." 

The guards look at you for a few seconds with the same dull expressions they had when they greeted you, then finally say, "Uh, thank you, sir."  They then just stand there until you leave.



> Once done, Bill will take his horse back to the stable and pay the hands there to take good care of 'Horse' for him.  He'll pay for five days and nights and give a modest tip (don't want everyone in town knowing I've got money-that's just asking to get robbed, but I do want some loyalty, eh?; modest tip = couple copper).  That done, he'll take all his saddlebags and gear off Horse and take it with him to the Grey Minstrel (don't want any badges walking off at night).




The stable boy, a youngish lad who hasn't yet fully succumbed to the town's trademark apathy, accepts the pay and eagerly thanks you for the tip.  "Thank _you_, sir!  Just let me know if you need anything.  Anything at all.  I live right up there in the loft,"  he points upward, indicating a rudimentary living space laid out in a corner, "so you just ring if you need me."  Here he reaches over to a rope hanging next to the stable entrance, behind which is a sign that reads, 'Ring for stable boy'.



> Once there, he'll seek the master or mistress of the Inn and inquire about lodging.




OOC:  There's a couple more people at the inn, I believe, so I'll take care of you all in a separate post.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 10, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> OOC:  When would Desert get back from his shopping?




OOC:  Well, let's find out, shall we?

[sblock]Seeing as how you have your own shiny thing attached to your robe, you manage to make your way down the street without being distracted by anything but the badge (which is probably a good thing).  After a few minutes of wandering, you find yourself drawn towards the sights and sounds of a busy market square.  The sun has just set, and in the distance you see that merchants have begun setting up torches, lanterns, and beautifully colored lights to show off their wares.  Businessmen in rich attire hawk everything from jewelry to rugs to exotic spices, while the more commonly dressed merchants clamor for you to buy leather goods, forged metal tools and weapons, or hand-crafted wooden furniture.

You are enraptured at this veritable cornucopia of wonder, and cannot help but go immerse yourself in the heady scents and sparkling lights of Merchant's Row.  You momentarily forget your own new shiny thing, and with eyes wide and mouth agape, you break into a quick jog toward the market, immediately falling flat on your face as you trip over the Halfling that had been standing in front of you, trying to get your attention.

Your years of training weren't for nothing, however, and you roll with the fall, coming up in a low crouch facing your would-be impediment.  With a huff the Halfling pulls itself up off the ground, brushes itself down, and says, "Well, that's no way to treat a lady, now is it?"

You are momentarily flabbergasted.  This Halfling female is perhaps the most beautiful creature you've seen since, well, since you left K. at the tavern.  Cascades of dark hair frame a delicate face, and emerald eyes look at you not with anger, but rather with a forgiving compassion (you get the sense that this isn't the first time someone tripped over her).  But even better than that, she must be wearing half a dozen necklaces, all from which depend several different bright and shiny charms, pendants, and precious stones.  Once again, you are enraptured.

She stands there looking at you with her hands on her hips and says, "Well?  Did you want to come see my wares?  I guarantee you won't find a better price in town."[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 10, 2005)

Wystan:

[sblock]







> I go to the clothier and seek those clothes and the Sewing kit. If these is any left I place it in a pocket to give back to Berzerker Bill.




With a quick look at Sunderkeg's map of the town, you locate Carlotta's Clothiers on the northern end of Merchant's Row, merely block or so from the tavern.  The sun has just set, and in the distance you see that merchants have begun setting up torches, lanterns, and beautifully colored lights to show off their wares. Businessmen in rich attire hawk everything from jewelry to rugs to exotic spices, while the more commonly dressed merchants clamor for you to buy leather goods, forged metal tools and weapons, or hand-crafted wooden furniture.

You make your way past a few open-air stalls and tables set up under awnings to the northern end of the street and easily find a wonderfully colorful sign that reads, sure enough, "Carlotta's Clothiers".

You make your way inside and as you open the door you hear a small bell tink-tinkling your arrival.  The shop is small but well-organized, and stocked to the gills with all manner of material, from handmade bobbin lace to exotic silks and satins to hearty wools and even canvas, and, much to your surprise, most of these seem to be available in nearly every single color even _you_ can imagine.

"Be vit you in a moment, dahlink," a heavily accented female voice says, coming somewhere from the back.  Suddenly you hear a _whoosh_ followed by a _snap!_, and a greenish glow temporarily lights up the inner recesses of the shop.  It's gone in a flash, and you hear, "Ah!  Fabulous.  Zimply fabulous."   A second later a tall, harsh-looking woman with slightly pointed ears and short-cropped jet black hair steps into view.  She wears a simple purple robe with the sleeves pulled up, and she makes her way past the bolts of material, saying, "Good evenink, how may I be of a-"

She stops short, catching her breath, obviously stunned and taken aback by what she sees.  She looks you up and down with a keen, observant eye, absorbing every detail of you.  Finally her eyes meet yours and an insanely wide smile slowly makes her way across her face.

"DAHLINK!  You _must_ be from ze gods, for you are _far_ too fashionable for zeez...  Common folks."  She claps her hands once, sharply.  "Come.  Talk viz me.  Help me to make ze fabulous."  With that she turns abruptly and heads to the back of the store.



> Then I proceed to wander the town for a bit looking for interesting Kitsch (Crap) that cathes my eyes for gifts for each of the other characters...If you can give me a list of touristy type crap that I find I would appreciate that.




OOC:  I love it!  I'll work on a list of touristy crap you can find after you leave the clothiers'.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 10, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> That settles that, I'll go buy some trail mix, and meet you at the GM. K jots down "Richard Kurgoth Sinclair and K". check, check.
> 
> She leaves Come on, Richard.
> 
> ...




A couple of nearby patrons watch you down your drink and chuckle at you derisively, winking at each other.  They turn to better see you, obviously thinking that your drink will have some sort of deleterious effect on you.  However, as you turn and walk back out the door, their looks of derision turn to awe as you do, indeed, walk back out the door, and under your own strength, no less.  Glancing back you see the two men scratching their heads in amazement.

LogicsFate:
[sblock]Having looked at Sunderkeg's map of the town before you left, you have a few choices as to where to go for supplies.  To the east is the Farmer's Market, as well as some specialty food shops.  On the northwest side of the city center is Merchant's Row where all manner of durable goods can be found in the various stalls and shops.  A couple of general stores are near there also, Trader Daub's and Jot's Sundries.

As you stand outside deciding which way to go, you notice a flurry of movement out of the corner of your eye, in the direction of Merchant's Row.  Looking over there you notice Desert, who seems to have tripped over someone much smaller than him.  The smaller someone stands back up and brushes his or her clothes down, but not before you see Desert recover from the fall in what you see to be a remarkable feat of athletic skill:  A split second before his face hits the dirt, he kicks his feet up over his head - which puts him completely upside down for a moment - and flips himself over again, twisting in midair to face back towards the small person, and lands in an _en garde_ position that you recognize, having seen fighters from the Far East strike the same pose.

Richard stands next to you, calmly awaiting your command.[/sblock]


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## Wystan (Jun 10, 2005)

For the GM (again)

[sblock]I smile at her

"My wonderful lady, I see that you have stocked your shop with at least some of the items that I feel that I will need...Nw lets see here, a nice purple, and a green, and a red, and a blue, and a black.....I need a few of each of these colors in different shades in your best fabrics. I am looking to create uniforms for a new guard and I was thinking that stylish would help to outfit the look that they need.  Now I see silks and such, but those would hardly hold up to rigors. so I am looking for a good silk and wool or cotton blend with just the right amount of give and stbility. I also need to get a few needles and a wide range of threads. I am also hoping that you would have a few hat forms and such.  Now see this green is simply delightful and would make a good sash to offset the purple robe that you are wearing."

I continue to look around and browse the fabrics. Looking for any that meet my requirements from before...

"Oh yes, and I also need a good measuring tape and some scissors and a needle holder and straight pins and an embroidery hoop and some embroidery thread and possibly some collar stiffeners and a few lacy pieces for one of our members..." 

If she starts to bring out or I find the fabrics that I am lookign for I will spend all that Berzerker Bill has given me so far and what I personally have as well if needed...


"I will also require the hire of a boy to carry this for me to Grey Mistrel for lodging. Hmmmm, do you happen to have any needles that are magic and can assist me in speeding up the tailoring that I will need to do to get these done? Or know of a mage that can assist me in speeding up my work?" 
[/sblock]


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 10, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> OOC:  Well, let's find out, shall we?
> 
> [sblock]Seeing as how you have your own shiny thing attached to your robe, you manage to make your way down the street without being distracted by anything but the badge (which is probably a good thing).  After a few minutes of wandering, you find yourself drawn towards the sights and sounds of a busy market square.  The sun has just set, and in the distance you see that merchants have begun setting up torches, lanterns, and beautifully colored lights to show off their wares.  Businessmen in rich attire hawk everything from jewelry to rugs to exotic spices, while the more commonly dressed merchants clamor for you to buy leather goods, forged metal tools and weapons, or hand-crafted wooden furniture.
> 
> ...




"Welllll sorrrreee, Well sorry mmm...madame, I did n...nnn..not see you there.  I am looking for a l...l...l...l...l...light source. A sun rod.  I...I...am a new deputy for Mister sheriff B...B....Bill."  Smiles big & puffs out his chest to show his shiny badge.  "M...M...My first task is to find a light sor...sor...source. Do you s...s...sell them?"


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## Lazlow (Jun 10, 2005)

For Wystan (again):

[sblock]<smiling>"My wonderful lady, I see that you have stocked your shop with at least some of the items that I feel that I will need..."

She turns to look at you, returns your smile, and says, "Indeed!  I-"

"Now lets see here, a nice purple, and a green, and a red, and a blue, and a black.....I need a few of each of these colors in different shades in your best fabrics."

"Certainly, I-"

"I am looking to create uniforms for a new guard and I was thinking that stylish would help to outfit the look that they need.

At the mention of uniformS - as in more than one - she smiles warmly, folds her arms in front of her thoughtfully, and listens patiently.

"Now I see silks and such, but those would hardly hold up to rigors. so I am looking for a good silk and wool or cotton blend with just the right amount of give and stbility. I also need to get a few needles and a wide range of threads. I am also hoping that you would have a few hat forms and such.  Now see this green is simply delightful and would make a good sash to offset the purple robe that you are wearing."

"Oh...  Zis old zing?  Ah, ha ha ha.  Dahlink, I have just the fabrics for you, right here."  She directs you to a certain section of the shop where several sturdy-looking fabrics in many colors are on display.

"Oh yes, and I also need a good measuring tape and some scissors and a needle holder and straight pins and an embroidery hoop and some embroidery thread and possibly some collar stiffeners and a few lacy pieces for one of our members..."

She looks up a moment and her right eyebrow shoots up impossibly high, seemingly in an attempt to slither up her forehead and hide in her hair.  She narrows her eyes to slits and starts to say something -  but stops short as you begin talking again: 

"I will also require the hire of a boy to carry this for me to Grey Mistrel for lodging. Hmmmm, do you happen to have any needles that are magic and can assist me in speeding up the tailoring that I will need to do to get these done? Or know of a mage that can assist me in speeding up my work?"

Her other eyebrow decides to calmly go after the other, more skittish one, and slowly makes its way up there to sit next to it for moral support.  Her eyes widen slightly, and a her lips curl into a devilish smile.

"Magic needles?" she chuckles.  "A mage?  Ooohhhhh, dahlink, dahlink, dahlink...  You need look no furzer."  She raises her arm, snaps her fingers, and suddenly her once-purple robe erupts in a swirling miasma of chromatic chaos.  She snaps her fingers again and the rainbow disappears, replaced by the exact shade of green that you suggested earlier to her for a sash.

Abruptly, she turns her back to you and stamps her foot.  "But I cannot pozzibly azzizt you until next month.  No no no no no, dahlink, for I am far too busy.  My life, it iz chaoz.  Most crazy I vould be to offer unto you my services."  She shoots you an impish glance over her shoulder and says in a very, very quiet voice:  "Zo azk me now before I again become zane..."   She turns back, turning her nose up in the air once again in defiance, but keeps one eye on you expectantly.[/sblock]


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## Wystan (Jun 10, 2005)

Here we go again.....here we go again
[sblock]







			
				GM said:
			
		

> She shoots you an impish glance over her shoulder and says in a very, very quiet voice: "Zo azk me now before I again become zane..." She turns back, turning her nose up in the air once again in defiance, but keeps one eye on you expectantly.




"You wonderful, wonderful, beautiful lady....Would you in any way consider helping me to try to get these finished by the morrow? Or at the very least gainfully started.... I would consider it a personal favor."  

I wink at her::

"I was thinking of a cut of uniform where the pants were a blue base with a black billow, like these...and the shirt would be a black base with red billows in the sleeves. Now I know that I can make them, but the time involved would be shortened considerably with the assistance of a skilled and beautiful seamstress such as yourself."

I smile at her and try to play up the charm...

 "I also need a uniform for a lady that prefers to show more flesh then uniform. I was thinking a halter top of black and red trim and maybe slit side pants with the black color and a blue trim..."

I pull out my book and show her the pictures::

"So you see I am in quite a quandry as I have myself, berzerker bill, desert, K., richard, and that slightly creepy fellow with the book. Hmmm. I could also do with a simple cape for each of us and a hat that will keep the sun out of our eyes.  So 6 uniforms, 1 female, the other 5 male... and six capes and hats... Now the female one I was thinking maybe lace to outfit the belly area and the slits in the legs...."

Trying to flirt without commiting to anything....
[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 10, 2005)

Ranger Rick:

[sblock]"Welllll sorrrreee, Well sorry mmm...madame, I did n...nnn..not see you there.  I am looking for a l...l...l...l...l...light source. A sun rod.  I...I...am a new deputy for Mister sheriff B...B....Bill."  <Smiles big & puffs out his chest to show his shiny badge>  "M...M...My first task is to find a light sor...sor...source. Do you s...s...sell them?"

"Why yes, I sell them..." she pauses briefly, looking at your badge and giving a semi-impressed _hm!_  She takes your hand gently and leads you towards her nearby shop, saying, "I sell sunrods as well as other more mundane light sources, and all manner of items that a strong, agile protector of the innocent such as yourself should never be without."

She leads you into the store and sets you in front of a display case filled with all manner of adventuring tools and trinkets.  "I'll be right back with your sunrod, dearie.  Stay right there."  She disappears into a back room.

[/sblock]


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 10, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> Ranger Rick:
> 
> [sblock]"Welllll sorrrreee, Well sorry mmm...madame, I did n...nnn..not see you there.  I am looking for a l...l...l...l...l...light source. A sun rod.  I...I...am a new deputy for Mister sheriff B...B....Bill."  <Smiles big & puffs out his chest to show his shiny badge>  "M...M...My first task is to find a light sor...sor...source. Do you s...s...sell them?"
> 
> ...




"M...M...M...Make it t...t...ten if you p..p..please."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 10, 2005)

Lazlow:

[sblock]OOC: Woo-hoo!  Look at everyone shop, fun, fun!  BUT . . . oh crap!
Bill suddenly remembers that he told Desert he would be at The Old Bald for an hour or two.  If it has been less than that (which I suspect it has), he will run back over there, but only if, after a look around Grey Minstrel he doesn't see Desert there.  If Desert is at the Grey Minstrel, then he'll smile and wave at him and then go about trying to get a room.

If Desert's at the Old Bald, then Bill will try to get him to come on over to the Grey Minstrel to get a room for the night.

If Desert's not at the Grey Minstrel OR the Old Bald, Bill'll find Muirna and say, "Hello again!  Have you seen that odd fellow back in here?  The one in the patchwork clothing, a bit tattered, one might say?  Well, I'm going to wait around for him for a little while, but if you see him before I do, please point me out to him.  Thanks, you're a doll.  Oh, and I guess I'll need a drink while I wait."  If/when she's not busy, then he'll add, "and some company," and make small talk for a while, looking for any clues about what she knows of the bar's original owner, because Bill'll tell her about how he had heard he was pretty cool, for, [highlight]"You know, this guy."[/highlight]  After about an hour, if Desert still hasn't shown and Bill hasn't received word, he'll head back over to the Grey Minstrel.[/sblock]


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## LogicsFate (Jun 11, 2005)

Lazlow:

[sblock] Noted. K pauses a second to see if anything comes from it. Richard still following, she then heads to the Farmers market. There she will look for some dried foods(trail rations).[/sblock]


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 14, 2005)

OOC: Do I return and who is there when I do return to the bar?


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Wystan:
[sblock]
"You wonderful, wonderful, beautiful lady....Would you in any way consider helping me to try to get these finished by the morrow? Or at the very least gainfully started.... I would consider it a personal favor."  

"My dahlink, you push too hard!  But I accept."  She smiles graciously.

"I was thinking of a cut of uniform where the pants were a blue base with a black billow, like these...and the shirt would be a black base with red billows in the sleeves. Now I know that I can make them, but the time involved would be shortened considerably with the assistance of a skilled and beautiful seamstress such as yourself."

She smiles coquettishly and gestures for you to continue.

 "I also need a uniform for a lady that prefers to show more flesh then uniform. I was thinking a halter top of black and red trim and maybe slit side pants with the black color and a blue trim..."

<pulling out book and showing pictures>  "So you see I am in quite a quandry as I have myself, berzerker bill, desert, K., richard, and that slightly creepy fellow with the book. Hmmm. I could also do with a simple cape for each of us and a hat that will keep the sun out of our eyes.  So 6 uniforms, 1 female, the other 5 male... and six capes and hats... Now the female one I was thinking maybe lace to outfit the belly area and the slits in the legs...."

"Ah, zese drawings vill do nicely.  My only reqvirement iz zat I must zee zese peoples so zat I may take ze measurements.  Lead on, you beautiful paragon of elven style!  I vill close ze shop and begin immediately."  She motions for you to lead on.
[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Ranger Rick:

[sblock]"M...M...M...Make it t...t...ten if you p..p..please."

"Ten!"  She pops back around and gives you a smile.  "Sure thing, ten sunrods, coming up.  You're lucky, there's a price break for ten."  You hear her digging through some crates and she returns momentarily with the items.  "There you go!  That'll be 18 gold.  What else can I get for you?"[/sblock]


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## Wystan (Jun 15, 2005)

Lazlow::

[sblock]I keep up a slightly useless steady stream of talk....complimenting her shop and her good taste and such... I head towards 'The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern' and see if anyone is there...
"...so you see my lady that the general output of 2 human nations is required to feed those brutish orcs. Ah, here we are." [/sblock]
I open the door and allow her to enter first. I then turn towards Muira (the Hostess right?) or the dour dwarf if I see none that I recognize. (insert the following if needed)
"Kind Dwarf, have you seen all of the other deputies? And Mr. Bill? I seek to get their measurments for the uniforms. I also would like to buy the lovely lady following me an elven wine or the house best. NOT the house special mind you."

[sblock]Any folks that I find I will need to cajole them into allowing a fitting....Hmmmm...[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Gray Shade:

[sblock]







> OOC: Woo-hoo!  Look at everyone shop, fun, fun!  BUT . . . oh crap!
> Bill suddenly remembers that he told Desert he would be at The Old Bald for an hour or two.  If it has been less than that (which I suspect it has), he will run back over there, but only if, after a look around Grey Minstrel he doesn't see Desert there.  If Desert is at the Grey Minstrel, then he'll smile and wave at him and then go about trying to get a room.
> 
> If Desert's at the Old Bald, then Bill will try to get him to come on over to the Grey Minstrel to get a room for the night.
> ...




Piecing together this timetable as best I can, and assuming Desert wraps up what he's doing right now and heads back, I think he'll be back to the tavern by the time you return from talking with the guards at the barricade.  If that's the case (when RR replies to my latest post for him), then I'll follow your directions above.[/sblock]


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## Branding Opportunity (Jun 15, 2005)

The Speaker suddenly wakes up from where he has been taking a short nap in the tavern, "Damn that narcolepsy, always strikes at the wrong time."  He looks around picking up the things in front of him, looking curiously at the block of wood.


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 15, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> Ranger Rick:
> 
> [sblock]"M...M...M...Make it t...t...ten if you p..p..please."
> 
> "Ten!"  She pops back around and gives you a smile.  "Sure thing, ten sunrods, coming up.  You're lucky, there's a price break for ten."  You hear her digging through some crates and she returns momentarily with the items.  "There you go!  That'll be 18 gold.  What else can I get for you?"[/sblock]




[sblock]"N...N...Nothing at all.  I was toll...toll...told to get a lightsource."  Hands over 20 gp.  "Thank you for your help.  Please keep the extra 2 coins, If I...I...I...I need anything I...I...I will return."[/sblock]

Desert returns to the bar.  Walking in his eyeys are unaccostomed to the darkness so he immediately says in a loud voice, "M....M....Mi....Mister Share...Share...Share...Sherifffff...ffff.... Mister Sheriff Bill, I...I...I...I... am b...b....b...b...b...b...back.  I ...I...I...I...went to go get some light because I...I...I...I...have problems at night. Yes sir I...I...I...I... am b...b....b....b....back.   Are you there?  I...I...I...I can't see you just yet."


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

LogicsFate:

[sblock] 







> Noted. K pauses a second to see if anything comes from it. Richard still following, she then heads to the Farmers market. There she will look for some dried foods(trail rations).




You see the small person (whom you figure to be a halfling female) lead Desert by the hand into a shop on the corner.  Apparently she wasn't all that upset over being tripped over.

At the Farmer's Market you find a vast array of delectable dried victuals.  For a small town, there is a considerable variety of food here, both preserved and perishable, and you easily stock up a few day's worth of provisions.

As you're perusing the stalls, you can't help but overhear a few interesting bits of conversation here and there.  You gather that most of the townspeople are worried about the growing threat of goblinoid raiders, and that their raids have been becoming more and more frequent as of late.  Many people wonder if the Town Guard will be able to deal with the threat for much longer.  One name that continues to pop up is that of Sir Dudley; apparently, he's long been the sworn protector of this community, but he recently left under strange circumstances and hasn't been seen or heard from for a number of weeks now.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> OOC: Do I return and who is there when I do return to the bar?




RR:

[sblock]If you're done shopping, then yes, you return to the tavern, and Berserker Bill is there waiting for you.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Wystan:

[sblock]<heading back toward the tavern>  "...so you see my lady that the general output of 2 human nations is required to feed those brutish orcs. Ah, here we are." 

During the short trip back to the tavern, Carlotta listens and nods politely, but she is rather occupied with your drawings, and studies them intently.[/sblock]

"Kind Dwarf, have you seen all of the other deputies? And Mr. Bill? I seek to get their measurments for the uniforms. I also would like to buy the lovely lady following me an elven wine or the house best. NOT the house special mind you."

Sunderkeg is closest at the moment.  "Well, I think a coople of yoor friends be back,"  he says, turning and looking around the room.  "Ah, yes, there's some of them noo."

At the bar you see Berserker Bill chatting with Muirna.  Desert has just walked in ahead of you and is standing behind Bill.  Speaker seems to have dozed off at the table for a bit, apparently overwhelmed by the captivating tome he had been reading.


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Gray Shade:

[sblock]Unfortunately, Muirna knows very little about the original owner of the Tavern.  "That was well before my time,"  she says with a shrug.  "I'm told that Berny knew him, but I never thought to ask him about that.  All I've heard is rumors, of course, and even those aren't all that interesting.  Apparently, the man was fond of an outrageously colored silk shirt that he acquired in his travels through the East.  He was also supposed to be a bit of an eccentric, but who isn't?  Other than that, I really have no idea.  Some of the older folks might've known him."[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Branding Opportunity said:
			
		

> The Speaker suddenly wakes up from where he has been taking a short nap in the tavern, "Damn that narcolepsy, always strikes at the wrong time."  He looks around picking up the things in front of him, looking curiously at the block of wood.




Upon your waking, the young lad who had been dared by his friends to go and see if you were, indeed, dead, jumps with a _YELP!!_ and stands stock still, stupified and stunned at actually being this close to you.  Terrified, he looks at you like a deer caught in a carriage's lamplight.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 15, 2005)

With the entrance of Desert, Berserker Bill ends his conversation with Muirna with a "thanks dear lady, thou's company is as charming as thou art knowledgeable." He gives her a wink and walks over to Desert, eyeing the sunrods with appreciation.

"Ah, excellent, my new friend!" If Desert seems to be having trouble seeing still, Bill will take one of his hands in a friendly shake. "So you're prepared for tomorrow, eh? If that be the case, then let's get over to the Grey Minstrel and get rooms for the night so we may rest our weary bones."

As he heads toward the door, he says to The Speaker, "Coming, sage?"

However, when he overhears Ranti at the bar, he glances back and says, "That's SHERIFF Bill, you--" Abruptly, he stops, brushes at the trail dust still clinging in spots to his breeches and sleeves, kicks a toe to heel and spins 180 degrees away from Desert and back toward the bar. While walking back toward the bar, he licks his thumb and straightens his eyebrows. At the bar, he leans on it, near the woman Ranti's brought in with him, on the opposite side of her from Ranti. "Well, hello," he says to her, his voice suddenly an octave lower and much more humid, while arching an eyebrow in as come-hither a fashion as he can manage. "You'll have to forgive my appearance, I've . . . been on the trail all day. Can I buy you some lutefisk? I hear it's wonderful." With a gesture of "two" and a jab at the bar he adds, "Sunderkeg, my good man--two house specials right here please. Ranti?  No? You're good? Okay. Just two." He smiles at the woman. "So . . . Live here often?"


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 15, 2005)

Upon hearing that they will be going to the Grey Minstrel, Desert follows Bill back to the bar.  Standing slightly behind him so his 1.9 meter frame looks at Ranti over (I assume) Bill's shoulder.  Desert is Bald with a bushy blonde unibrow over black clear eyes.  A Roman nose that is canted to the left, juts from the face.  Quietly, he stands there staring with his black (iris) clear eyes, at Ranti.


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## Wystan (Jun 15, 2005)

"Mr. Desert sir...glad to see you made it back. Is there something I can assist you with?
I appear to be getting slightly uncomfortable.


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 15, 2005)

"M....M....Mi....Mister Share...Share...Share...Sherifffff...ffff.... Mister Sheriff Bill said we are going to the Grey Min...Min...Minstrel and go to bed."


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## Wystan (Jun 15, 2005)

"Are you tired already? It seems like the day has just begun...or at most is but a few hours behind us. I really need to get started on your uniform first."
Looking at the seamstress::
"My wonderful lady, this could be the first gentleman that you size and then Mr. Sheriff Bill here, and then we will see if K. returns and then the gentleman that appears to have just woken from his book and K.'s sidekick Richard....I will of course give you my measurments as well, but I would be making my own uniform. Did I miss anyone...."
I stare off into space counting....


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

"thanks dear lady, thou's company is as charming as thou art knowledgeable." 

Muirna blushes.  "Oh my, well thank - "  she pauses a second as a befuddled look crosses her face - "...you?"  She cocks an eyebrow high, then shrugs and gets back to tending the customers.



> "That's SHERIFF Bill, you--" Abruptly, he stops, brushes at the trail dust still clinging in spots to his breeches and sleeves, kicks a toe to heel and spins 180 degrees away from Desert and back toward the bar. While walking back toward the bar, he licks his thumb and straightens his eyebrows. At the bar, he leans on it, near the woman Ranti's brought in with him, on the opposite side of her from Ranti. "Well, hello," he says to her, his voice suddenly an octave lower and much more humid, while arching an eyebrow in as come-hither a fashion as he can manage. "You'll have to forgive my appearance, I've . . . been on the trail all day. Can I buy you some lutefisk? I hear it's wonderful." With a gesture of "two" and a jab at the bar he adds, "Sunderkeg, my good man--two house specials right here please. Ranti?  No? You're good? Okay. Just two." He smiles at the woman. "So . . . Live here often?"




At "hello", the woman stiffens and turns slowly to face you.  She looks you up and down as you speak, her eyes finally coming to rest on your distinctive hat.  She glares at it, as if she thinks it might slink off your head and go do something unspeakable in the corner.  After a moment, she looks you straight in the eye and speaks.

"Ranti, my dahlink...  Pleaze tell me zees...  Person...  Is one of yours, yes?"   She leans back, bringing her face closer to Ranti, but never takes her eyes off of you.  "He iz like ze shipwreck...  Gruesome, tragic, and macabre...  Yet..  I cannot bear to look avay..."

Sunderkeg joyfully plops down two steaming plates of lutefisk in front of you.  "Enjoy!"


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## Wystan (Jun 15, 2005)

I whisper to the seamstress::

[sblock]"Now my dear you see why it is such a rush job. These are the interminable louts that I will be associating with and I need to at least make them look presentable if not good....[/sblock]

When the Lutefisk arrives I turn slightly green and back away a bit.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 15, 2005)

Berserker Bill, too, turns a bit green at the Lutefisk. He meant the house specials to [highlight]drink[/highlight] (OOC: my bad!). "Hey, Sunderkeg, how 'bout a couple specials to drink to go with the specials to eat here? Thanks!" Noticing that she seems to be digging his hat, he gives it a tap of salute, then remembers his manners and removes it mumbling, "Oh, pardon."

Trying not to offend Sunderkeg, Bill subtely pushes the jellied fish away from the lady (OOC: he'll have that later). "Er, so you're going to be assisting our master tailor here, eh? That's great." He looks her up and down, purposefully not paying attention to any particular parts because he knows the chicks dig it when you don't moon-eye their goodies."You seem to have great taste in clothing yerself." He touches the hem of her sleeve (unless she pulls away) and offers it to Desert, "Check this out, Desert, that's soft. She knows her work."
Bill looks at his fingertips and rubs them together, "Yeah, my hands are all rough. Probably from killing people . . . carrying my bucket," he indicates the high-quality bucket hanging from his belt with his eyes. He looks back up at her deep, beautiful eyes and adds, "Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners?" He sticks his hand toward her, "I'm Sheriff Berserker Bill. You can call me Bill." Before she can take his hand, he waves it around and continues, "Me and this brave band of adventurers are going to storm over the local forces of evil and crush them like . . ." He looks at Desert for help and repeats (without stuttering) whatever words Desert suggests--if Desert says nothing, then he continues anyway, "Yeah, we're pretty much heroes and all. I love your accent.  It's gorgeous! What's your name again?"


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

"My wonderful lady, this could be the first gentleman that you size and then Mr. Sheriff Bill here, and then we will see if K. returns and then the gentleman that appears to have just woken from his book and K.'s sidekick Richard....I will of course give you my measurments as well, but I would be making my own uniform. Did I miss anyone...."

"Yes...  Yes, I zee..."  She snaps out of her trance-like state and stands up straight.  "Ahem.  Let's get on viz it, shall ve?"  She starts rummaging through a satin bag.


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> I whisper to the seamstress::




She _tsks_ an affirmative, nodding to you.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 15, 2005)

Berserker Bill frowns and furrows his considerable brow. "Woman! How can I beseech the gods to bless thee without thine name?" He sighs and then drums his fingers on the bar waiting for the drinks. After a few listless drumrolls, he says, "Yes. Measurements." He removes his traveling cloak and drapes it over the seat next to him. He then starts unbuckling his breastplate. Just before he lifts it off, he gives Desert a wink and sucks in his gut and puffs up his chest.
"Mostly, madam I was looking for just a kilt and a cape, and I actually gave Ranti my measurements, but if you must . . ." he then begins to unbutton his shirt, the pits dark with what he would surely call "trail squeezins", his chest hair abundant and sproingy, seeming to reach out for her womanhood as the top few buttons give way between his thick fingers . . .


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

"Hey, Sunderkeg, how 'bout a couple specials to drink to go with the specials to eat here? Thanks!"

"O' coorse, o' coorse!  Comin' right oop!"  He moves further down the bar and sets about making the pyrotechnic potables.



> Noticing that she seems to be digging his hat, he gives it a tap of salute, then remembers his manners and removes it mumbling, "Oh, pardon."




At this she stops rummaging through her bag and fixes you with her eyes again.  She smiles to herself, seemingly satisfied with something, then continues her rummaging.



> "Er, so you're going to be assisting our master tailor here, eh? That's great." He looks her up and down, purposefully not paying attention to any particular parts because he knows the chicks dig it when you don't moon-eye their goodies."You seem to have great taste in clothing yerself." He touches the hem of her sleeve (unless she pulls away) and offers it to Desert, "Check this out, Desert, that's soft. She knows her work."




At this she freezes and glares at you with an icy stare.  You get the feeling that this is most definitely unwanted physical contact.  [sblock]As you feel the material, it seems to be pulsating with life - it feels warm to the touch, warmer than a robe should be, but you can feel streams of cold shooting through it, almost like veins of ice water.[/sblock]  As you let go, she loosens a bit, but only slightly.  She continues rummaging through her bag, but she keeps one eye on you.



> Bill looks at his fingertips and rubs them together, "Yeah, my hands are all rough. Probably from killing people . . . carrying my bucket," he indicates the high-quality bucket hanging from his belt with his eyes. He looks back up at her deep, beautiful eyes and adds, "Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners?" He sticks his hand toward her, "I'm Sheriff Berserker Bill. You can call me Bill." Before she can take his hand, he waves it around and continues, "Me and this brave band of adventurers are going to storm over the local forces of evil and crush them like . . ." He looks at Desert for help and repeats (without stuttering) whatever words Desert suggests--if Desert says nothing, then he continues anyway, "Yeah, we're pretty much heroes and all. I love your accent.  It's gorgeous! What's your name again?"




"My name...  Iz not to be spoken by you."
"Hey, Carlotta!  Good to see you."
"Ah, hello Muirna my dahlink!" <makes kissy motions>

Her head snaps back to face you and she fixes you with the same steely glare as before.  "Tut-tut-tut!  No zpeaking.  Pleaze, be ztill."  She finally pulls out a long, silvery ribbon out of her bag, then puts the bag away.


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## Lazlow (Jun 15, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill frowns and furrows his considerable brow. "Woman! How can I beseech the gods to bless thee without thine name?" He sighs and then drums his fingers on the bar waiting for the drinks. After a few listless drumrolls, he says, "Yes. Measurements." He removes his traveling cloak and drapes it over the seat next to him. He then starts unbuckling his breastplate. Just before he lifts it off, he gives Desert a wink and sucks in his gut and puffs up his chest.
> "Mostly, madam I was looking for just a kilt and a cape, and I actually gave Ranti my measurements, but if you must . . ." he then begins to unbutton his shirt, the pits dark with what he would surely call "trail squeezins", his chest hair abundant and sproingy, seeming to reach out for her womanhood as the top few buttons give way between his thick fingers . . .




Various screams, cries for mercy, and general shouts of displeasure from the patrons erupt all around the room.  Muirna, surprisingly, faints, but luckily Sunderkeg catches her in his arms without spilling the two specials in his hands.

"OH DEAR GODS IN HEAVEN"
"I think I'm going to be sick..."
"PLEASE, SOMEBODY MAKE HIM STOP"
"PUT THAT THING AWAY!!  THERE ARE LADIES HERE!!"

...And so on.

Carlotta grabs your hands and forcibly rips them from your shirt.  "PLEAZE!  Hands to your zides.  There.  Slightly out a bit, pleaze.  Thank you.  Now:  BE ZTILL."

The silver ribbon she pulled out of her bag earlier begins to wind it's way around you of it's own accord, slithering smoothly around your arms, legs, and chest, burrowing fervently into the abundantly sproingy man-foliage thereon.  In a few moments, it has traversed most of your frame, and it leaps back to Carlotta's hands, whereupon she holds it gingerly between two fingers and wipes it thoroughly (VERY thoroughly) with a damp rag.  As she does this, it seems as if she's having trouble swallowing...

"Zank you.  Zat is all."   She glances over to Desert.  "Are you next?"


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## Gray Shade (Jun 16, 2005)

Beserker Bill seems totally unaffected by the reaction of the patrons and Muirna, but gives the woman an outright angry look that could (metaphorically) turn a red dragon white, then looks past her to Ranti and says, "Like I said before: Cape and kilt. 38 waist." He stands, gathers his armor, cloak and lutefisk, but puts the lutefisk back down to tell Ranti, "And I would request that you personally do my work, or that it not be done at all. I don't trust this stuck-up she-troll further than I trust the bastard son of Loki and Vecna."


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 16, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> .... She glances over to Desert.  "Are you next?"



Yes I am.  I was told to get my measurements.


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## Wystan (Jun 16, 2005)

"Lets see, kilt....kilt, he really has the wrong legs for a kilt....Hmmmm....maybe  have an intergral pair of short pants that attach the kilt to them so that he can wear either...Maybe even long pants legs that can attach to the short pants so we don't have to see his legs....And Desert needs a nice loose fitting outfit that will not get snagged on too much when his attention is distracted. K. Will definately want an outfit that would make an elven dancer blush. Richard would most likely like a dark but sensible version of the same uniform...and that 'The Speaker' fellow....hmmm he looks like a robe and cloak type person. So since cut is out as a distinguishing characteristic we must needs go for colors. I see a dark Blue and Black for the legs area with a crimson red and black torso area. The cloak should be a dark black and purple.
I start to doodle again after this and watch as the measurments are taken.
I then whisper to Carlotta
[sblock]With your wonderous abilities....and I really must learn how you enchanted that measuring ribbon...how long do you think the uniforms will take?[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 16, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Beserker Bill seems totally unaffected by the reaction of the patrons and Muirna, but gives the woman an outright angry look that could (metaphorically) turn a red dragon white, then looks past her to Ranti and says, "Like I said before: Cape and kilt. 38 waist." He stands, gathers his armor, cloak and lutefisk, but puts the lutefisk back down to tell Ranti, "And I would request that you personally do my work, or that it not be done at all. I don't trust this stuck-up she-troll further than I trust the bastard son of Loki and Vecna."




At this, Carlotta turns back to you and raises an eyebrow.  Slowly, she musters a smile on her lips and a glimmer in her eye.  "Ooooo," she purrs, running a finger down your arm, "zo...  Zo forceful!  I zimply _loooove_ a man viz a temper..."


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## Gray Shade (Jun 16, 2005)

Berserker Bill's eyes widen and a corner of his mouth lifts into a curious smile.  He pops his neck, and the light from the gold medalions nestling in his chest fur *bling-bling* at Carlotta.  "Oh, yeah you do."


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## Lazlow (Jun 16, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill's eyes widen and a corner of his mouth lifts into a curious smile.  He pops his neck, and the light from the gold medalions nestling in his chest fur *bling-bling* at Carlotta.  "Oh, yeah you do."





Her smile is quickly replaced by the cold, heartless mask she wore moments ago.  "No.  I do not.  Begone."  She brushes you aside and steps up to Desert.


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## Lazlow (Jun 16, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> "Lets see, kilt....kilt, he really has the wrong legs for a kilt....Hmmmm....maybe  have an intergral pair of short pants that attach the kilt to them so that he can wear either...Maybe even long pants legs that can attach to the short pants so we don't have to see his legs....And Desert needs a nice loose fitting outfit that will not get snagged on too much when his attention is distracted. K. Will definately want an outfit that would make an elven dancer blush. Richard would most likely like a dark but sensible version of the same uniform...and that 'The Speaker' fellow....hmmm he looks like a robe and cloak type person. So since cut is out as a distinguishing characteristic we must needs go for colors. I see a dark Blue and Black for the legs area with a crimson red and black torso area. The cloak should be a dark black and purple.
> I start to doodle again after this and watch as the measurments are taken.
> I then whisper to Carlotta
> [sblock]With your wonderous abilities....and I really must learn how you enchanted that measuring ribbon...how long do you think the uniforms will take?[/sblock]






After you whisper to her, she smiles warmly and wags a finger at you playfully. "Tut tut tut!  Zat would be tellink.  Az for ze cloze, zey vill be delivered to your hotel by ze mornink.  Vere did you zay you vere stayink?"

================

OOC:  Anyone else having trouble with the color tags?  They don't seem to be working at all for me.


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## Gray Shade (Jun 16, 2005)

Berserker Bill narrows his eyes again, then laughs.  "You know, I've been shot down by classier dames than you on streetcorners."  He picks up his lutefisk again, puts it back down again, and turns to Desert.  "See, now this guy's got class."  He gives one of the specials (drinks) to Desert and says, "have a drink with me."  Just before shooting his drink, he says to Desert, as a toast, "E Plubius Semper . . . and so on!"  After the drink he slams Desert on the back in an overly friendly manner.

The drink downed, he grabs his lutefisk one final time and announces in a loud voice to the door as he walks through it, "See you all in the morning! Muster here after breakfast.  I'm off to the Grey Minstrel for an empty room warmer than her cold, dead heart."

He'll then attempt to get to the Grey Minstel; get a room; open the shutters (to wake at sunrise--and get air); and get all that lutefisk eaten before the special and the four (or was it five, six, maybe?) grogs from earlier kick in too much.


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 16, 2005)

Desert takes the drink, tries to repeat, "E Plubius Semper . . . and so on!" than finishes by saying "Semper Fi."  He downs the drink and continues to await  instructions from someone.

ooc: My color came out fine.


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## Lazlow (Jun 16, 2005)

Carlotta ignores the remarks and continues measuring everyone; when she's finished, she turns to Ranti and says, "If you still vish to make your own outfit, then I invite you to use my facilities.  I have everyzing you'll need zere.  Now come!  Let uz make zese ruffians FABULOUS!"

=================

OOC:  Is everyone finished for the night, or does anyone have something else they wish to do?


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## Gray Shade (Jun 16, 2005)

OCC: Done and sleeping heavily in a room at the Grey Minstrel if able, dreaming of seamstresses who [highlight]DO[/highlight] dig him, probably waking a few times to wonder what he was thinking to eat all that lutefisk right before bed.  Ugh!


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## Wystan (Jun 16, 2005)

I will follow her to the shop and work on my outfit. Trying to pick up pointers and her in the process.


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## LogicsFate (Jun 16, 2005)

OOC cracrapcrap sorry I'm behind I'll catch up at or after work


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## Lazlow (Jun 16, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> OOC cracrapcrap sorry I'm behind I'll catch up at or after work




OOC:  Don't sweat it, I'm not a post nazi with a minimum number of posts per day.  Post when you can.


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 17, 2005)

Desert stands there even when the 'tailors' are done.  Having no other instructions, he stands there and concentrates on a insect flying near the ceiling.


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## LogicsFate (Jun 17, 2005)

K rushes into the tavern with Richard hot on her heels, coming to a halt I, I, She stops straitening imaginary folds of a dress and brushing dust off what might have been sleeves Any rumors you may or may not hear about me are entirely false. Further more, I... who is she? referring to Carlotta and what are you doing with my... She pauses failing to think of an appropriate word


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## Wystan (Jun 17, 2005)

"Carlotta meet K....K meet Carlotta. She will be taking our measurments for the uniforms. K...I have heard nothing in regards to you...should we have?"
I turn towards Desert...
"Desert please go next door and get a room for the night."


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 17, 2005)

"Sa...Sa...Sure, right away."  Desert walks out the door.

Lazlow only: [sblock] After walking outside I look left than right than left than right.  I turn right and go to the very next door and walk in.  OOC: I have no idea where this door leads, but I figure you can decide.  [/sblock]


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## LogicsFate (Jun 17, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> "Carlotta meet K....K meet Carlotta. She will be taking our measurments for the uniforms. K...I have heard nothing in regards to you...should we have?"
> I turn towards Desert...
> "Desert please go next door and get a room for the night."




O ok if that is all, she’s not going with us is she? O, no you shouldn't have heard of anything... 

She steps up to Carlotta I'm ready Any attempt at measuring Richard prompts this reply O don't worry about him K then rattles off any of the measurements that one might need for proper tailoring


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## Branding Opportunity (Jun 17, 2005)

Having finally finished reading his book, the Speaker stands up and waves to everyone who is left in the tavern, "Well, I will be off for the night as well.  Do some of my best work at night.  I will rejoin you here tomorrow, yes?"


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## Lazlow (Jun 21, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> "Sa...Sa...Sure, right away."  Desert walks out the door.
> 
> Lazlow only: [sblock] After walking outside I look left than right than left than right.  I turn right and go to the very next door and walk in.  OOC: I have no idea where this door leads, but I figure you can decide.  [/sblock]





RR:

[sblock]OOC:  Sweet.    

After looking back and forth, you make a right turn out of the door, and you see another door to another building a short distance ahead of you, past a few carts and stalls where farmers are selling their produce.  You make your way across the farmers' market to the building, where a number of animals, some easily recognizable and some less so, are hanging in the windows in various states of "undress" - that is to say, where chickens and ducks usually have feathers, those that are hanging in these windows do not.  You also seem to recall that chickens and ducks usually don't lounge around windows, hanging by their necks.

At any rate, you make your way to the door and find it unlocked.  You go inside and are greeted with a peculiar scent, a sort of heady, wet scent, thickly laden with a sharp metallic tang, not unlike blood.  A large, clean-shaven man with a bald head and fingers like fat sausages smiles at you from behind a counter and says, "Ah, good evening, fine sir.  With what can I help you?" [/sblock]


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## Wystan (Jun 21, 2005)

Lazlow:
[sblock] Since I do not want to roleplay trying to seduce the seamstress/mage, I would like to make a Charisma check or such to see if we hit it off. After making the uniforms I will pick up as follows:

 "My dear, the quality on these is amazing. They should fit perfectly and look beautiful. You have an amazing touch and must make most men cry in desire. I would like to recompense you for these."
I proceed to offer her all that I have minus 20 gold. (should be 230 gold)
"This meager sum would be all that I can offer at this time. If it is not enough I will give you my word that more will be paid as soon as possible."
I will then thank her again (and if the night went well offer her a favor) and proceed to the inn to try to get a few hours of rest.(or rest here if the night went well.... )
[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 21, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> O ok if that is all, she’s not going with us is she? O, no you shouldn't have heard of anything...
> 
> She steps up to Carlotta I'm ready




Carlotta smiles and says, "Hold still, my dear, zis vill only take a moment."  Her enchanted measuring tape winds its way around you, slithering and sliding over and under and around and about.  When she's done, she moves over to Richard.  However, as soon as she looks at him she pauses.

"O don't worry about him."

Carlotta looks Richard up and down, then slowly turns back to you.  "Indeed.  I shan't vorry about...  Him."  She raises an eyebrow as she says this, then moves on over to Speaker.  "Vell, let uz zee if ve can make you a bit less...  Severe, no?"  She raises her hands and lets her measuring tape get to work.  In a moment, it leaps back to her hands and she puts it back into her bag.

"Come along, Ranti.  Let uz make zese peoples fabulous!"


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## Lazlow (Jun 21, 2005)

Wystan:
[sblock] 







> Since I do not want to roleplay trying to seduce the seamstress/mage, I would like to make a Charisma check or such to see if we hit it off.



Since I do not want to roleplay the seamstress/mage _being_ seduced, a Charisma check sounds great.   

 "My dear, the quality on these is amazing. They should fit perfectly and look beautiful. You have an amazing touch and must make most men cry in desire. I would like to recompense you for these."
I proceed to offer her all that I have minus 20 gold. (should be 230 gold)
"This meager sum would be all that I can offer at this time. If it is not enough I will give you my word that more will be paid as soon as possible."

"Well, I should tell you that my zervices are vorth *far* more zan zis...  But to be honest, I haven't had a chance to be zo creative and exciting viz adventurer's clozing in zo long, ze money iz of little conzeqvence," she says as she slips the coins into her bag with a wink.  "Zank you for zis marvelous opportunity."

I will then thank her again (and if the night went well offer her a favor) and proceed to the inn to try to get a few hours of rest.(or rest here if the night went well.... )

Carlotta smiles sweetly at you and pats you on the cheek.  "Dahlink, you _must_ know zat it iz never a good idea to mix buzinezz viz pleasure."  She smiles again and turns toward the inner recesses of her shop.  As she disappears behind the shelves and stacks of fabric, she catches your eye and says in a low tone, "Come zee me again ven your buzinezz is done."  She winks and then  disappears.

[/sblock]


----------



## Ranger Rick (Jun 21, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> RR:
> 
> [sblock]OOC:  Sweet.
> 
> ...




"H...H...Hello, I was told to go next door and get a room for the night.  Do you have a room I can use?  I have no idea why they sent me here, as this is not what I expected.  But maybe the person who sent me likes this place.  H...h...how much for a r...r...r...room?  There are several of us."

OOC: Seeing how sunset is comming soon.  I imagine I will procure a room and go back to the bar and lead them to the Inn when it is dark outside?


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## LogicsFate (Jun 21, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> Carlotta smiles and says, "Hold still, my dear, zis vill only take a moment." Her enchanted measuring tape winds its way around you, slithering and sliding over and under and around and about. When she's done, she moves over to Richard. However, as soon as she looks at him she pauses.
> 
> "O don't worry about him."
> 
> Carlotta looks Richard up and down, then slowly turns back to you. "Indeed. I shan't vorry about... Him." She raises an eyebrow as she says this




Hmm. Interesting tape measure, It has that certain I don't know what. Talk to everyone tomorrow. With little flourish she turns and leaves, bidding Richard to follow. 

 Laslow:
[sblock]She will go to the one place, the bard place as she remembers. There she'll get a room, go to that room, prepare for bed, and tell Richard to wake me if anything enters the room. [/sblock]


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## Wystan (Jun 21, 2005)

Lazlow

[sblock] I will head to the appointed Inn then, the one next to the tavern and get a few hours rest. In the morning I will seek out Berzerker Bill [/sblock]

OOC this occurs when morning rolls around....


I walk into the bar looking for Berzerker Bill whilst wearing my new uniform...
"Mr....uh....Sheriff Bill sir, I have the Uniforms. I think yours is this one." I hand him the kilt and cape and a snazzy shirt...'And Desert here....and K...and Mr. The Speaker...is that all?" 

LAZLOW LOOK HERE TOO.... 
vvvvv
[sblock] is there a uniform for Richard?[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 22, 2005)

RR:
[sblock]"H...H...Hello, I was told to go next door and get a room for the night.  Do you have a room I can use?  I have no idea why they sent me here, as this is not what I expected.  But maybe the person who sent me likes this place.  H...h...how much for a r...r...r...room?  There are several of us."

The man looks at you quizzically.  "Er...  I don't have rooms here, sir.  Just meats."  He points around him and to the windows, indicating the plethora of skinned animals hanging everywhere.  "I think you're wanting an inn.  There's one straight out the door, just past the Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern.  But perhaps I can interest you in a fine steak, or some chops, perhaps?"[/sblock]


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## LogicsFate (Jun 22, 2005)

*YAWN* Hey, thanks What do they look like? Hey! Wait a second Where's Richards?


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 22, 2005)

"N...n...n...no.  I was t...t...t...told to get a rue...rue...rue...room here.  Please rent me...me...me a rue...rue...rue...room.  Surely you have space?  I...I....I would hate to fail on m...m...my task.  Please sir have pity on me and let me sh...sh...sh...sh...show my friends I can do this."

OOC: Desert is getting frustrated with this rebuff. Intimadate -1 (cha 9)


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## Lazlow (Jun 28, 2005)

RR:

[sblock]The man senses your frustration but repeats, "I'm sorry, I don't - well, just a moment.  ROGER!"  Momentarily a small boy comes in from the back, wiping his hands on a rag.  "Roger, could you please show this man to _a room?_"  He quickly leans over and whispers something in the boy's ear.  

The boy looks at you, shrugs, then says, "Follow me..." and starts to walk out the door.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Jun 28, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> *YAWN* Hey, thanks What do they look like? Hey! Wait a second Where's Richards?




OOC:  Didn't you tell Ranti and Carlotta not to worry about him?  As in, "Don't worry about measuring him"?  Or did you mean something like, "Don't worry, he doesn't bite"?


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 28, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> RR:
> 
> [sblock]The man senses your frustration but repeats, "I'm sorry, I don't - well, just a moment.  ROGER!"  Momentarily a small boy comes in from the back, wiping his hands on a rag.  "Roger, could you please show this man to _a room?_"  He quickly leans over and whispers something in the boy's ear.
> 
> The boy looks at you, shrugs, then says, "Follow me..." and starts to walk out the door.[/sblock]




"Thank you kind sir."   Desert follows the 'bell hop'.


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## LogicsFate (Jun 28, 2005)

OOC: Yes as in don't worry about measuring him, for K has had to do it before and already knew his disturbingly thin measurements, which she then told.


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## Wystan (Jun 28, 2005)

OOC: If so then he has one as well... 
"Oh, here it is...silly me I seem to have dropped it in my bag..."
I take the uniform out and hand it to her...
"Now we need to all put them on and match like the good deputies that we are."


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 28, 2005)

Desert starts to whistle softly as he feels that he has done the proper thing.


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## LogicsFate (Jun 29, 2005)

"Thankyou Ranti, We'll be back"  Retiring to out room and donning our uniforms

OOC: What do they look like?


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## Wystan (Jun 29, 2005)

OOC: See Below for basics:
"Lets see, kilt....kilt, he really has the wrong legs for a kilt....Hmmmm....maybe have an intergral pair of short pants that attach the kilt to them so that he can wear either...Maybe even long pants legs that can attach to the short pants so we don't have to see his legs....And Desert needs a nice loose fitting outfit that will not get snagged on too much when his attention is distracted. K. Will definately want an outfit that would make an elven dancer blush. Richard would most likely like a dark but sensible version of the same uniform...and that 'The Speaker' fellow....hmmm he looks like a robe and cloak type person. So since cut is out as a distinguishing characteristic we must needs go for colors. I see a dark Blue and Black for the legs area with a crimson red and black torso area. The cloak should be a dark black and purple.


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## LogicsFate (Jun 29, 2005)

"Perfect! Now that that's done, let's go and...do whatever it was we were sposse to be doing"


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## Lazlow (Jun 30, 2005)

And, with Desert finally arriving at the inn, the evening passes uneventfully (for the most part), and you all get together in the morning (as you've already done) to get your fabulous new matching uniforms <snicker> and set out for glorious adventure.

So...  Whatcha gonna do?


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## Gray Shade (Jun 30, 2005)

Berserker Bill shows up for the new day with sallow eyes and a bloated feeling tongue.

However his spirits rise when he sees the party assembled with their uniforms.  He takes his kilt and cape and steps somewhere private to change (OOC: just cause I'm a nice guy).  When he comes out in his new uniform he's smiling broadly.  "Very nice, good Elven tailor!  You do your lineage proud!"

He then takes roll to make sure everyone's there.  Assuming everyone is, he'll order the company a hearty breakfast, ("Thanks Muirna; Sunderkeg.") and then say to the party, "in my research, I have discovered that there is a kind of huge insect that often lives below ground in these parts.  It is about the size of my considerable boot and depending on the breed, radiates enough heat to bake a Halfling to a briquette in four minutes.  Therefore, I would propose we head to the local potion-smith and see if he can provide some sort of salve or liqueur to protect us from the creatures' radiance.  Then, we make haste north, through goblin-infested parts, to the dwelling of man who will hopefully provide us with a final member to our party.  Once we have this final member we will head underground to get the orb."

He then eats breakfast, saying through a mouthful of egg, "Everyone make sure you have all your gear."


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## Ranger Rick (Jun 30, 2005)

Desert, lacking modesty, just changes into his uniform at the pick up point.  He has minimal food at breakfast than pushes his plate away, he eagerly goes to get his gear, coming back and standing right next to Mr. Bill.

OOC: Lazlow, Please play my PC as you see fit, till I get back next week.  Thanks.


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## Wystan (Jun 30, 2005)

I proceed to check the fit on everyones uniform...however at the explaination of the heat from the bugs I balk....
" But that sort of heat might damage the delicate fabrics that I have used to create these masterpieces. We will definately need to carry extra water to wet them down and keep them from smoldering...and more deputies....I have no uniform for them."
I am starting to look a bit distressed...
"K. you look wonderful, but it should fall like this..." 
I start to reach towards her chest and catch myself after a second...
" well a little more to the left"


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## LogicsFate (Jul 1, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> He then takes roll to make sure everyone's there. Assuming everyone is, he'll order the company a hearty breakfast, ("Thanks Muirna; Sunderkeg.") and then say to the party, "in my research, I have discovered that there is a kind of huge insect that often lives below ground in these parts. It is about the size of my considerable boot and depending on the breed, radiates enough heat to bake a Halfling to a briquette in four minutes. Therefore, I would propose we head to the local potion-smith and see if he can provide some sort of salve or liqueur to protect us from the creatures' radiance. Then, we make haste north, through goblin-infested parts, to the dwelling of man who will hopefully provide us with a final member to our party. Once we have this final member we will head underground to get the orb."
> 
> He then eats breakfast, saying through a mouthful of egg, "Everyone make sure you have all your gear."




Hmmm, I have a spell that might stave off a briquette-like fate for a couple of people for a little longer than half an hour if that helps... K ponders for a sec Though I wont be able to cast it till the morning


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## LogicsFate (Jul 1, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> I am starting to look a bit distressed...
> "K. you look wonderful, but it should fall like this..."
> I start to reach towards her chest and catch myself after a second...
> " well a little more to the left"






O, really? K looks down grabs what she can and shifts left-right and left again trying to make sure everything falls as it should Like this? 

And thank you agin, If there is anything I can do to make it up to you *wink* just let me know *playful slap*


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## Gray Shade (Jul 1, 2005)

Berserker Bill is a little embarrassed.  "Er, sorry, Ranti.  But you know, this other member will, I'm sure, already be decked out.  Perhaps you could whip up a matching sash or something while we travel and he could wear his badge on it.  It would be just the touch he'll need, I'm sure.  As for any damage to the clothing, I wouldn't dream of it.  That's why I suggest stopping at the potioneer's.  Our generous companion K's spell would protect some of us, but I think that we all should at least get something.  I hear there is a potion which allows one to endure such elements as heat or fire.  Surely, we'll just be able to step over and each purchase one after breakfast, and we will not then need to worry about the insects."

With a final swallow of bacon, he checks his gear, then stands to leave.


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## Lazlow (Jul 5, 2005)

OOC:  I know RR and LF are out for the holiday, but they've asked for me to put their characters on auto-pilot.  So is everyone ready to move out?


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## Wystan (Jul 5, 2005)

OOC: I am here, but distracted...Bad issues with buying a new house and a friends mother passing...so Ranti might be a bit more sullen and less wordy.

IC: 
I blush when K. playfully slaps at me...
"K. That is much better, and Mr. Berzerker Bill sir, I am not sure I can afford a potion, but I will do my best. The outfits cost the full of my downpayment and the bonus you lent me for them. If you could spot me a potion I would be most obliged and will endeavor to pay you back quickly." 
I proceed to get all of my belongings into the Haversack and get ready to go.
"Should we eat before we embark on this momentous journey?"


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 5, 2005)

Following Mr. Bill's lead Desert is there waiting for the others.....Starting to look around.


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## Gray Shade (Jul 7, 2005)

(OOC: sorry, was distracted by work stuff for a few days)

Berserker Bill raises a hand and points at the door. "Er, yeah.  Everyone eat first."  He'll wait for everyone to finish, then raise his hand and point at the door again.  "Onward!" he says, and walks out of the Old Bald and to the potion vendor's, where he'll spring for Resistence to Fire potions all around.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 7, 2005)

"Why are we getting these? Wh...Wh...What are the for?"


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## Gray Shade (Jul 8, 2005)

"Big, hot, flaming bugs, Desert. I'll tell you when to take it, if you want me to."


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## Wystan (Jul 8, 2005)

"Okay, bugs, those I can kill no problem at all...of course I can kill anything with no problem at all..."
I smile at Bill


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 8, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> "Big, hot, flaming bugs, Desert. I'll tell you when to take it, if you want me to."




"Why Y...Y...Yes please....How...How many do I...I...I...carry?"


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## Gray Shade (Jul 12, 2005)

"One each should be fine, Desert.  Good attitude, Ranti!" Berserker Bill responds. "Now . . . for those potions . . . " He then hesitently moves for the door, and walks through.


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## Wystan (Jul 12, 2005)

I follow at a nice safe distance, with an eye out for any trouble...


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 12, 2005)

Desert walks out the door and stops outside the door.  He looks to the right and the left, than he keeps walking straight....


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## Lazlow (Jul 13, 2005)

*The Jam Dabbler*

You all make your way to the north side of the town center, ensuring that your more, shall we say, 'directionally challenged' companion stays with the group.

As you open the door to the alchemist's shop you are assaulted by the delicious scents of baking bread, sweet berries, butter, and honey.  The shop is far from a typical potion emporium.  There are shelves along the walls, and a display case showing off what must be a hundred different jars of jams, jellies, preserves, syrups, and extracts.  In an almost identical case right next to this one are a mouth-watering array of breads, croissants, bagels, muffins, danishes, sticky buns, donuts, gnomish "Lottery Loaves" (each is different, made with whatever's left at the end of each day of all the scraps in the kitchen), and all other manner of baked goods.

Flanking the display cases are two small counters over which hang one finely crafted wooden placard each.  One has a barely-recognizable facsimile of a jar of jam and a disproportionate strawberry drawn next to block letters that spell "Jam Dabbler."  The other sign has a well-rendered and immaculately painted loaf of twisted bread, complete with steam rising from it, next to a painted loopy font that reads "Heaven's End Bakery."

A very tall (almost four feet high), blonde, gnomish woman in an apron powdered in flour is patiently attending to about a half dozen locals awaiting the morning's fresh goods in front of the "Bakery" counter.  Behind the counter, she's either standing on a raised floor, or she's got legs twice the length of her torso.  She pauses and turns to the party with a wide smile.  When she sees you're adventurers, however, she gives a heavy sigh and shows you the top of her head as she busies herself searching for the Rye baguette a halfling points greedily at and reassures her she can reach.  The baguette is clearly out of her reach (and the halfling's) but she keeps stretching after it nevertheless.

At the other counter, a short, pepper-bearded, male gnome with wide ears and enormous eyes is reading a pamphlet, calmly ignoring the small crowd.  He looks up at your party with an expression like he's disinterestedly studying the backs of your heads despite looking each party member in the face.  His moustache twitches once to the right and he sets his book aside.  "You all are obviously looking for the Jam Dabbler," he says matter-of-factly.  "I'm sure you've heard the legends.  Well, praise your respective deities: you've found me."


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## Gray Shade (Jul 13, 2005)

*Jam, yum!*

Berserker Bill says: "Most excellent, jam-master gnome!  Tis a lovely shop you keep with yon cute serving wench.  But we are on a great quest and seek potions, not delicious jellies.  Mayhaps you can . . . "  He looks around the shop for potions, then steps back outside to look up at the sign and then back inside.  Then suddenly gets it.  "Ah, I see, yes.  Could you get the master of the shop, please: the potion brewer.  We seek 6 potions which will allow us to avoid the damage caused by heat and flames."  He then starts handling various jars of preserves, holding them to the light to look through them.  If not stopped he will open a blue or purple one and have a taste on his finger.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 13, 2005)

"aahh, Mr. Sherriff Bill, Sir if you taste those jars and others taste those jars, there will be nothing left to sell to the one who wants to buy it.  I would think you should buy those before tasting."


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## Gray Shade (Jul 13, 2005)

Berserker Bill stares at Desert with his hand wrapped around the top of a jar.

Suddenly he hangs his head low and puts the jar back, unopened.  "Oh, yes.  Of course.  Well, perhaps I'll buy a jar--it does look tasty, doesn't it?"


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## Wystan (Jul 13, 2005)

"The red jelly/jam concoction looks interesting, mayhaps we could get some back up supplies for the trail. Sweets would be nice, and a good loaf of elven forever bread would go well as well."
I look around for a loaf of elven forever bread, looks like a loaf of cold bread, but has a warm center for at least 10 days. 
"Maybe even a few lottery loaves as they would be good for unconsidered nutrients, and I hear that they sometimes have been know to cause or cure poisonings as well.."
Iwander around looking at the jellies and jams and listening out the side for whatever Berzerker Bill might say or do. I then proceed to stand on line and buy a bunch of the breads and the jams, like 4 loaves and 5 jars.
"My beautiful proprieteress, I would like to partake of some of what you would consider your best wares. When sold by one as lovely as you they must be only of top quality or your hands would not deign to touch them."

Turning to Bill I say
Mr. Berzerker Bill Sherrif sir...Maybe some of the jams and jellies contain the mystical ingredients that we seek...


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## Lazlow (Jul 13, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill says: "Most excellent, jam-master gnome!  Tis a lovely shop you keep with yon cute serving wench.  But we are on a great quest and seek potions, not delicious jellies.  Mayhaps you can . . . "  He looks around the shop for potions, then steps back outside to look up at the sign and then back inside.  Then suddenly gets it.  "Ah, I see, yes.  Could you get the master of the shop, please: the potion brewer.  We seek 6 potions which will allow us to avoid the damage caused by heat and flames."  He then starts handling various jars of preserves, holding them to the light to look through them.  If not stopped he will open a blue or purple one and have a taste on his finger.




The short Gnome gives his wife (the blonde Gnome) a sad smile and a shake of the head.  "Like I said, friend," he says, nonplussed, "_he_ is _me_."  He then pulls out a 6 oz jar of purplish jam and hands it to Berserker Bill.  "Take care to have a spoonful each just before encountering any fire.  The effects will only last about 10 minutes, so...  You know.  No lollygaggin' in the dragon's lair.  HA!"  After another twitch of his moustache, he nods sideways towards the baker and adds, "Try it on a nice buttermilk biscuit.  They're on sale, and quite delicious."

As Bill picks up a jar and starts to sample the contents, he eyeballs Bill with a sardonic smile, but does not attempt to stop him.


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## Lazlow (Jul 13, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill stares at Desert with his hand wrapped around the top of a jar.
> 
> Suddenly he hangs his head low and puts the jar back, unopened.  "Oh, yes.  Of course.  Well, perhaps I'll buy a jar--it does look tasty, doesn't it?"





"Yes, the Polymorph Self jam is exquisite.  I take fresh lingonberries, butternut extract, pure beet sugar, and simmer it down, adding freshly pulped furfapple flesh.  Absolutely outstanding."  He smiles at you with the kind of smile that sends sane men scampering into trees.


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## Gray Shade (Jul 13, 2005)

Bill looks back without scampering.  "Sounds great!  I'll take that and the fire resistence jam.  And throw in some masterwork, but non-magical, blueberry preserves."

Berserker Bill will pay for the jellies, then get in line with Ranti.  On his turn he'll follow the Jam Dabbler's advice and buy a couple dozen biscuits, which he will offer with the blueberry preserves to the party while on the road.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 13, 2005)

"Mr. sherriff bill do I need to buy some "Resistence to Fire potions?"  You told me to get one."


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## LogicsFate (Jul 15, 2005)

K looks up and down the inventory _Hmm, I wonder about glue jellies_


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## Gray Shade (Jul 15, 2005)

"Er, yeah.  Sorry, Dessert.  I was mistaken, I thought the potions would come separately, but they're here all together in this one jar.  Does anyone have a spoon?"

If no one has a spoon, Berserker Bill will buy one.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 18, 2005)

Desert checks his pockets than pats himself down than he starts looking around on the floor for one.  After a few minutes he stands up and says, "n...n...n...no."


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## Lazlow (Jul 19, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K looks up and down the inventory _Hmm, I wonder about glue jellies_




OOC:  You'll have to explain that one to me, please...


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## Lazlow (Jul 19, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> "The red jelly/jam concoction looks interesting, mayhaps we could get some back up supplies for the trail. Sweets would be nice, and a good loaf of elven forever bread would go well as well."
> I look around for a loaf of elven forever bread, looks like a loaf of cold bread, but has a warm center for at least 10 days.
> "Maybe even a few lottery loaves as they would be good for unconsidered nutrients, and I hear that they sometimes have been know to cause or cure poisonings as well.."
> Iwander around looking at the jellies and jams and listening out the side for whatever Berzerker Bill might say or do. I then proceed to stand on line and buy a bunch of the breads and the jams, like 4 loaves and 5 jars.
> "My beautiful proprieteress, I would like to partake of some of what you would consider your best wares. When sold by one as lovely as you they must be only of top quality or your hands would not deign to touch them."




"Mm-hmm, top quality, yes,"  she says, seemingly ignoring your charming manner completely.  "Here you go:  Three lottery loaves and one loaf of elven forever bread.  Three gold, please."  She collects your money and immediately helps the next customer.

You walk over to the Jam Dabbler to buy some of the jellies.  "Yes, now, which ones were you interested in?  The resistance to fire or the polymorph self?"


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## Lazlow (Jul 19, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Bill looks back without scampering.  "Sounds great!  I'll take that and the fire resistence jam.  And throw in some masterwork, but non-magical, blueberry preserves."
> 
> Berserker Bill will pay for the jellies, then get in line with Ranti.  On his turn he'll follow the Jam Dabbler's advice and buy a couple dozen biscuits, which he will offer with the blueberry preserves to the party while on the road.




All told, you shell out four hundred gold for the jellies ("Quite a steal, you know," says the Jam Dabbler) and one gold for two dozen freshly baked buttermilk biscuits.  The Jam Dabbler throws in a small wooden spoon (more of a slightly rounded tongue depressor, really) for free.


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## Gray Shade (Jul 19, 2005)

Berserker Bill gives a doubtful glower when the Jam Dabbler says "quite a steal."

Once Ranti is ready to go, Berserker Bill will say, "Off we go, then, companions!" and lead the way out the door and up the road heading north out of town.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 20, 2005)

Desert follows behind Bill and soon is walking in complete step with him.


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## LogicsFate (Jul 20, 2005)

Thinking about it for a sec "Nah" K follows the others out, motioning for Richard to follow


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## Lazlow (Jul 26, 2005)

With Sherriff Bill in the lead, you make your way out of the city center via the southeast road, passing a bustling harbor.  Flat-bottomed riverboats glide up and down the Greenwater, and larger sailing ships make their way in and out of the docks on the lake.  It's a fairly pleasant morning, all things considered.

====================================

OOC:  Which way were you headed, again?


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 26, 2005)

OOC:  Desert turns right and starts to walk in that direction.  Can I assume that is the direction to travel to see the massive white glimmering sails?


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## Lazlow (Jul 26, 2005)

RR:  No, those would be straight ahead, mostly.  You can refer to the map on page 2, third post down.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 26, 2005)

Desert continues to walks straight toward the massive white glimmering sails.


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## Gray Shade (Jul 26, 2005)

"Ah, crap!" Berserker Bill exclaims suddenly.  He lets Desert keep walking toward the sails, thinking they'll pick him up on their way back through, then takes anyone who does follow, BACK in the direction they just came from.  "Sorry, team, we need to talk to the local head of the guard, Phyfe.  He may know where we can find our final team member."

He then heads back through downtown, around the corner of the Old Bald, and toward the Captain 'o the Guard's building.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 26, 2005)

And desert keeps walking til he gets to the waters edge.


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## Wystan (Jul 26, 2005)

I proceed to follow RR and see what he is doing. I shout back over my shoulder to Bill::

"Mr...sher...Berz....Bill I will keep an eye on this one. He appears to be easily distracted, but I would also assume he is easily herded and followed..."


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## LogicsFate (Jul 26, 2005)

K stands for a moment, as the party splits off without her, after a few moments she hurries after the elf, staying close.


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## Gray Shade (Jul 26, 2005)

"I'll be as quick as I can!"  Berserker Bill double-times it to the Captain 'o the Guards shack.


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## Lazlow (Jul 27, 2005)

Before the party splits temporarily, a young boy runs up to the group waving a rolled-up piece of parchment in his hand:

"Oy!  You da Sherriff?  Ah, I see y' badge, dere.  Here.  Dis's f' you."

You unroll the parchment and read the following:

_To The Esteemed Sherriff Berserker Bill and My Erstwhile Colleagues:

In the past few months of adventuring I have come to a startling conclusion; well, startling to me at least.

I don't like being an adventurer and I really, really like being an adventure *maker*.

As I don't want to drag your adventuring down any more than I already have, I will therefore bow out and say thank you and goodbye. It's been fun!

Speaker (I need to come up with a better adventure-making name)_


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 27, 2005)

OOC: Lazlow, you are quitting?

EDit: whoops sorry about that.


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## Lazlow (Jul 27, 2005)

OOC:  *NO!! *  Speaker (Branding Opportunity) did.  See the OOC thread.  The message here is basically his good-bye post from there.


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## Gray Shade (Jul 27, 2005)

"What a shame," Berserker Bill says thoughtfully.  "An adventure-maker, eh?  Wonder if we'll ever end up in any of the adventures he creates.  Ha ha ha.  Well, he always was an odd one.  Shame, nonetheless."

Berserker Bill rolls up the paper neatly, then throws it over his shoulder and jogs off in the direction of the Captain 'o the Guards.  Muttering under his breath he adds, " . . . must make haste!"


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## Lazlow (Jul 28, 2005)

K, Richard, and Ranti quickly catch up with Desert, who stands transfixed at the billowing white (well, off-white (okay, dingy grey)) sails of The Goode Shippe Greenwater Gal.  You know the name of the ship because it's painted on in HUGE letters across the bow, for some reason.  Also of note is the man standing at the very tip of the bow, foot up on the gunwales, hanging onto some of the rigging, looking like a mighty proud sailor.  Indeed, as the ship comes closer, this man seemingly bursts through the "of note" category and into the "what in the...?!?" category.  Allow me to elucidate.

For starters, the hand that holds onto the rigging isn't so much a hand as it is a hook.  Which isn't all that bad, it's a little steroetypical, you think, but not outrageous.  That is, until you notice that his other hand is also a hook.  "Wow," you think.  "How about that."  Indeed.  But how about the patch over his left eye?  Isn't it a bit much, especially considering the patch over his _right_ eye?  "And what about those parrots?" you may inquire.  "Does he really need three?"  Hell, don't look at me.  Maybe he likes birds.  Maybe he's trained them to sit on his shoulder there to take people's eyes off of his two peg legs, I don't know.

*   *   *   *   *

Making much haste, Berserker Bill rounds the corner and comes to a halt directly in front the Captain o' the Guards' door.  A sleepy-looking guard stands off to the side, staring out into the distance.  He doesn't seem to notice you.


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## Ranger Rick (Jul 28, 2005)

Said to no one in particular, "I hope a mosquito never bites him."


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## Gray Shade (Jul 28, 2005)

Berserker Bill pushes his way brusquely into the Captain's building. If the guard moves or so much as seems to notice, Berserker Bill hollers (that's right, hollers) at him, "I've important business with the Captain!" and keeps on going.

(OOC: HAHA!! I don't know why the mosquito line is funny, but it is!)


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## Wystan (Jul 28, 2005)

Stunned look on my face::
 "How does he wipe? I say his boat must be going to the birds.... I think I might have seen him before but I just can't peg where.... I must say though, I am hooked on figuring out where."

I start to duck if anyone so much as looks at me funny.


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## LogicsFate (Jul 30, 2005)

K follows the man's gaze, to see if he looking at something, and then saying to desert "Yeah that would be a shame" 

Assuming the man stands there a bit K calls out "Greetings, Sir! once again assuming she get no response "...AHOY, Thar, ye ,..., matey"


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## Lazlow (Aug 1, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill pushes his way brusquely into the Captain's building. If the guard moves or so much as seems to notice, Berserker Bill hollers (that's right, hollers) at him, "I've important business with the Captain!" and keeps on going.




"Who?" the guard mutters weakly.  He shrugs as the door closes shut.

Inside the Captain's quarters, you traverse a short hall and look inside the first room, which is on your left.  Sitting there at his desk is who you assume to be the Captain of the Town Guard, pouring over a sheaf of parchment.  And by "pouring" I mean _literally_ pouring, he is filling a comically large crystal goblet with wine, which, despite it being comically large, does not contain the amount of wine that he wishes to pour into it.  Also comically large are his moustaches, which seem more like those woven-reed boats you've seen primitive folk make.  He takes a long belt of wine from the goblet, the size of which you now deduce as being the optimal size for someone with such an abundance of facial hair.

"Hello?  Yes?  Have you come for the reward?  Jolly good!  Sit down, my good fellow, sit down,"  he slurps, mostly forgetting to swallow his wine before talking.  His moustaches droop with the added weight of several ounces of liquid.  He takes a seat himself and sets his elbows on his desk, propping his chin up in his hands.  At least, that's what you figure he's doing, you can't really see his hands anymore.  He looks at you wide-eyed and excited.


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## Lazlow (Aug 1, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> Stunned look on my face::
> "How does he wipe? I say his boat must be going to the birds.... I think I might have seen him before but I just can't peg where.... I must say though, I am hooked on figuring out where."
> 
> I start to duck if anyone so much as looks at me funny.




The skies darken almost immediately, and thunder and lightning ripple outwards from the heavens.  You're not sure, but you think you hear a booming noise coming from above, similar to a long, low groan...


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## Lazlow (Aug 1, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K follows the man's gaze, to see if he looking at something, and the saying to desert "Yeah that would be a shame"




You can't quite tell, seeing as how they're both covered with patches.



> Assuming the man stands the a bit K calls out "Greetings, Sir! once again assuming she get no response "...AHOY, thar, ye ,..., matey"




The man's head turns towards the shore, darting this way and that.  Finally he calls out, "Ahoy thar!  Who be callin' ol' Wet Willy?"


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## Gray Shade (Aug 2, 2005)

Berserker Bill snaps to attention in front of the man's desk, then relaxes to "at ease" and declares, "Sheriff Berserker Bill reporting on behalf of the Duke's royal Ranger Corps!  Are you the Captain of the Guard for this his majesty's town of Lizard's Pit?"

He then cocks his eyes toward the ceiling, just registering something he heard earlier.  "What reward is that, good sir?"


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## LogicsFate (Aug 3, 2005)

"It be K, Arn you'in thine cap’em o tis fine ship?" she looks to her companions, and in a low agitated voice "A little help here? I can't keep this up all day, it's not like I took a course in sailor, not that I couldn't have but..."


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 3, 2005)

"What do you want me to say?  I am not wet nor a willy."


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## Lazlow (Aug 3, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill snaps to attention in front of the man's desk, then relaxes to "at ease" and declares, "Sheriff Berserker Bill reporting on behalf of the Duke's royal Ranger Corps!  Are you the Captain of the Guard for this his majesty's town of Lizard's Pit?"
> 
> He then cocks his eyes toward the ceiling, just registering something he heard earlier.  "What reward is that, good sir?"





"Oh, ho ho ho, a modest man, eh?  How positively chivalrous!  Hee hee hee!  Delightful.  Hm, yes, delightful."  He leans back in his chair and props his hands behind his head, red wine still dripping from his ridiculous moustaches in small rivulets that stream down the ornamental breastplate he wears.  "Ah, to be young again...  The thrill of far-off adventure!  The excitement of watching battle!  The glory of surviving a hastily beaten retreat!  Yes, those were the days...  But I digress.  Your reward!  Here."  He hops up quickly, grabbing a rolled-up parchment from his desk, luckily just in time to save it from the rain of cabernet sauvignon that erupted from his moustache as he jerked himself upright.  "Take that to Rumpchunk.  He'll know what to do."  He winks and lays one finger aside his nose - which doesn't quite have the effect that it should, seeing as how he had to stick it through the mass of facial hair to actually get to the nose.  He pulls his finger out of the sopping wet whiskers, discovers it's covered in wine, tastes it, and nods approval.  "Fine vintage, that, fine vintage.  Can I offer you some refreshment?"  He gestures towards the carafe with a smile.


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## Wystan (Aug 3, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> "It be K, Arn you'in thine capem o tis fine ship?" she looks to her compainions, and in a low agitated voice "A little help here? I can't keep this up all day, it's not like I took a course in sailor, not that I couldn't have but..."




I look over at K, then look back to the captain.

"Gud Sir, arn teh ghoti* biten t'day? Ifn so I may be'n intrest'd in gitin sum o'dem offa ya fur a gud price mind'ya."
I turn and say in a low voice to the group...
"How was that?

*OOC Ghoti is pronounced Fish....http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/ling006.html


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## Lazlow (Aug 3, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> "It be K, Arn you'in thine capem o tis fine ship?" she looks to her compainions, and in a low agitated voice "A little help here? I can't keep this up all day, it's not like I took a course in sailor, not that I couldn't have but..."




"Ahoy thar, ye lubbers!  No captain am I, no, yar.  I be the harbor master, aye, here to guide these loverly lasses in t' th' docks.  Now, whar be the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!", screams Wet Willy, as the ship rams the bumpers on the dock with a SLAM!!, sending Wet Willy overboard and into the drink in a flurry of parrot feathers.

Strangely enough, a very calm-looking sailor in a rowboat happens to be within feet of where Willy landed, and another calm-looking sailor with a large net fishes Wet Willy most unceremoniously out of the water and dumps him into the boat.  They slowly make their way over to a ladder leading up to the dock, next to which is a smallish wooden pallet attached to some rope, which is in turn wound around a series of pulleys.  The sailors set Wet Willy on the pallet and hoist him up, where he stands up and brushes himself down as his three parrots alight back in their usual spots.

"Good job lads!  Another job well done!" shouts the salty sailor to no one in particular as he starts waddling down the dock.


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## Gray Shade (Aug 3, 2005)

Berserker Bill takes the paper numbly, letting an appaled expression settle over his face.  He expected the reward, not the job itself, and besides, he's got bigger fish to fry.  One of his meaty fists wraps tightly over the paper and the other opens and backhands the goblet out of the Captain's hand, knocking it violently across the room.  "Dammit, Phyfe!  I'm no common errand boy!"

He steps around to the side of the desk to better *intimidate* the Captain, turning the captain's chair to face him and slamming a boot on the chair between his thighs.  "I'm here on important business--straight from the Duke!  I don't have time for your nostril-nuanced nonsense!  Where's Sir Dudley?!  And don't give me any of that PALACON bulls**t!  Oh, won't talk, eh?  Well, refusing to help me is like refusing to help the Duke himself, and refusing to help the Duke gets you an apointment with his men in the basement, of which I was one for 5 gruesome years." Berserker Bill finishes, letting his masterwork intimidation tools clatter across the desk.  "If anybody in this world loves you, you better start talking!  Where's Sir Dudley?"


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## Lazlow (Aug 4, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> <Backhands the goblet out of the Captain's hand> "Dammit, Phyfe!  I'm no common errand boy!"
> 
> "I'm here on important business--straight from the Duke!  I don't have time for your nostril-nuanced nonsense!  Where's Sir Dudley?!  And don't give me any of that PALACON bulls**t!  Oh, won't talk, eh?  Well, refusing to help me is like refusing to help the Duke himself, and refusing to help the Duke gets you an apointment with his men in the basement, of which I was one for 5 gruesome years." [/color ]Berserker Bill finishes, letting his masterwork intimidation tools clatter across the desk.  "If anybody in this world loves you, you better start talking!  Where's Sir Dudley?"





The Captain, looking at you and absolutely quivering in fear, faints dead away.  His unconcious body goes limp and starts slowly slipping from the chair (but hangs up on your foot).

About this time you hear a knock on the front door, and a female voice faintly says, "Yoo hoo!"


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## Gray Shade (Aug 4, 2005)

"Oh, you panty-waist piece of crap!  Can nothing on this job go easy?  Wake up!"  Berserker Bill lowers his voice and grabs the wine and splashes it on Phyfe's face.  He then shakes the captain a little, and scrambles to get his torture tools back in his pack before the woman comes in.
If he succeeds, he will say toward the door, "Wake up Captain!  Are you all right?"  When the woman comes in, Berserker Bill will put his ear over the Captain's mouth, checking for breath.


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## LogicsFate (Aug 6, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> "How was that?




"You did very well" patting him on the back "I'm proud" 


After watching the seemingly practiced spectacle "O! He's just the Harbor Master? Well, I guess our work here, is done... unless ether of you want to try to get a ship!"


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 8, 2005)

"Get a ship?  You mean we can just point to a ship and get it?....I do not get it."


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## LogicsFate (Aug 9, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> "Get a ship? You mean we can just point to a ship and get it?....I do not get it."




"But you could!" K put's her arm around Desert and her other arm out in a wide sweeping motion "Imagine, sailing the high seas with a mighty crew, pillaging booty, raiding entire coastlines, becoming both filthy rich and the scourge of the seas" K pauses and frowns, afraid her point came out incorrectly "The scourge of pirates, of course, cause we'd be the good guys,...of course"


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## Lazlow (Aug 9, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> "Oh, you panty-waist piece of crap!  Can nothing on this job go easy?  Wake up!"  Berserker Bill lowers his voice and grabs the wine and splashes it on Phyfe's face.  He then shakes the captain a little, and scrambles to get his torture tools back in his pack before the woman comes in.
> If he succeeds, he will say toward the door, "Wake up Captain!  Are you all right?"  When the woman comes in, Berserker Bill will put his ear over the Captain's mouth, checking for breath.




The Captain comes to with a start, sputtering and coughing.  He wipes the wine from his face and looks around, and, upon seeing you, seems a bit surprised.

"I say, are you here for the reward?  I do apologize, I must have fallen asleep with a full wine glass in my hand and had it spill all over me.  I do hope you haven't been waiting long.  I have your reward around here somewhere..."   He begins looking around for the parchment he handed you a moment ago.

Meanwhile, a well-dressed middle aged woman pops her head around the corner and into the room.  "Oh, Wiggy!  Oh, Wiggy, I tho-  Oh!  Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were busy.  I'll come back later."


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 9, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> "But you could!" K put's her arm around Desert and her other arm out in a wide sweeping motion "Imagine, sailing the high seas with a mighty crew, pilaging booty, raiding entire coastlines, becoming both filty rich and the scorge of the seas" K pauses and frowns, afraid her point came out incorrectly "The scourge of pirates, of course, cause we'd be the good guys,...of course"





Desert looks out and follows K's sweeping hand.  "The seas do not look very high.  Ansd instead of a crew, should it not be more important to have a boat?  As for being filthy rich, I prefer to jnot be filthy.   But the sails out there look very pretty."


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## LogicsFate (Aug 9, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> Desert looks out and follows K's sweeping hand. "The seas do not look very high. Ansd instead of a crew, should it not be more important to have a boat? As for being filthy rich, I prefer to jnot be filthy. But the sails out there look very pretty."




"Yes, yes, All that and more!" K says, glazes over deserts questions while waving her hand the other direction "Ranti! You, imagine all that stuff I just told Desert. We could go to exotic locales and learn the local styles and art, before burning it to the ground!...Of course, we wouldn't burn the good buildings" She turns to the elf with a hopeful look


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## Wystan (Aug 9, 2005)

"We of course would first need to hire a dramatic pose artist and a reputable bard to sing our exploits and paint our entrances, well scetched and painted afterwards of course. We could be king and queen and well lackey of a small island chain in the middle of no-where...we would be rich, but of course we would have to pay exorbitant import prices as islands notoriously have poor economies and shops there tend to do poorly as there is no turn around of income. Hmmm, maybe we should try for a small port city instead and have a statue raised in our likeness' after we disposethe cruel government, that we would have to institute first of course, and save the village from the depredations of the social predators installed in the upper echelons of government above them. You Desert could be our minister of....our deputy of.... Our Master Librarian. K. you would be the main leader of the area, while I would be the face and do all the public speaking and Public relations work. We would become a thriving community and make sure that we were always ahead of the times with the clothing trends that we push. We could even revive the one breast showing look and the various other looks that the priggish churchs have always frowned upon." 
I look to see if the captain is also taking all of this in...

"Sounds like a jolly interesting Idea there K."


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## Gray Shade (Aug 9, 2005)

Berserker Bill helps the Captain right himself, and says, "Reward?  No, my dear sir.  I'm here inquiring about Sir Dudley.  I am a representative of the Duke, who seeks Sir Dudley's service.  Could you perhaps point me in his direction?  Any help would be greatly appreciated."


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## LogicsFate (Aug 9, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> "We of course would first need to hire a dramatic pose artist and a reputable bard to sing our exploits and paint our entrances, well scetched and painted afterwards of course. We could be king and queen and well lackey of a small island chain in the middle of no-where...we would be rich, but of course we would have to pay exorbitant import prices as islands notoriously have poor economies and shops there tend to do poorly as there is no turn around of income. Hmmm, maybe we should try for a small port city instead and have a statue raised in our likeness' after we disposethe cruel government, that we would have to institute first of course, and save the village from the depredations of the social predators installed in the upper echelons of government above them. You Desert could be our minister of....our deputy of.... Our Master Librarian. K. you would be the main leader of the area, while I would be the face and do all the public speaking and Public relations work. We would become a thriving community and make sure that we were always ahead of the times with the clothing trends that we push. We could even revive the one breast showing look and the various other looks that the priggish churchs have always frowned upon." "Sounds like a jolly interesting Idea there K."




"NO!" 

"I mean Yes! Except Desert can't be head Librarian... I already promised that job to... Richard. Isn't that right Richard! Nod." Richard nods "Everything else is perfect, er Desert can be the head of human resources" K thinks for a second "What if the islands weren't remote at all but instead they were in the middle of major shipping lanes, and why restrict our self to one area? We could have islands and coastline!" At this point K's grin turns into giggle and then into uncontrollable, if not a bit irritating, laughter. Seconds turn into a minute and it die's down a bit, she wipes tears from her eyes and stands dramatically "HERE IS WHERE WE TAKE THE FIRST STEPS TO CONQUERING...OUR DREAMS!" "Now, which ship do we want?"


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## Wystan (Aug 9, 2005)

"Shouldn't we however wait for Mr. Sherriff Berzerker Bill?"


Big Friggen Evil Looking Grin.

"I mean we are deputized and all and will need a proper authority figure to run the place while we have fun. Speaking of which, want to go back to the inn and see how easy fun is to find?"


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## LogicsFate (Aug 10, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> "Shouldn't we however wait for Mr. Sherriff Berzerker Bill?"






"Who?" 





			
				Wystan said:
			
		

> "I mean we are deputized and all and will need a proper authority figure to run the place while we have fun. Speaking of which, want to go back to the inn and see how easy fun is to find?"



 
 K finds her eyes trailing down to their stars "...O bother, I forgot about that, Well he can come too, he could be the general, captain...sherif of our empire of peace." K gives him an odd look "What kind of fun?"


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 10, 2005)

"I...I want th...th...that ship.  I think th...th...that ship will get us th...th...to where we need to...to...to go in record time."  Desert points a ship with the most sail showing.


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## Lazlow (Aug 10, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> "I...I want th...th...that ship.  I think th...th...that ship will get us th...th...to where we need to...to...to go in record time."  Desert points a ship with the most sail showing.





"I don' believe I know you people," a voice says behind you.  You all turn around to see five - well, the only words that really describe them well are "maritime ruffians".  They are dirty and unkempt, and well-worn sailor-type outfits cover their lanky frames.  You figure the one who spoke is the leader of the group, as he seems to be wearing the best looking clothes (that is, not completely caked in filth).

"You see, this 'ere is MY dock.  Anyone wantin' to do business on MY dock needs ta go through ME."  He pauses and looks nonchalantly at his fingernails, as if he is only marginally pleased with the manicure he's obviously never had.  After a quick moment he adds, "Plus, there is the small matter of the, er...  Admittance fee."  A couple of his lackeys giggle and snort, and nudge each other conspiratorially.  The leader snaps his fingers and they stop immediately.  "Twenty gold apiece should do nicely.  IF you please?"  He holds out his hand.


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## Lazlow (Aug 10, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill helps the Captain right himself, and says, "Reward?  No, my dear sir.  I'm here inquiring about Sir Dudley.  I am a representative of the Duke, who seeks Sir Dudley's service.  Could you perhaps point me in his direction?  Any help would be greatly appreciated."




"Sir Dudley?" he laughs.  "Why, he's fr- uh...  Ummm..."   He stops himself abruptly and looks around nervously, then sobers up quickly.  "Why, he's at PALACON, the annual meeting of Paladins, you know.  He's a high-ranking member of that organization.  Are you familiar with it?  The 'Paladins Assembled to Lead Against Chaos Or Neutrality?'  Quite the noble cause, you know.  Ah!  Madame Philpot.  What a pleasant surprise.  Please, do come in."  The Captain steps to the side and shows the lady to a seat.  He turns to you and says, "Is there anything else I can do for you, my good man?"


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## Wystan (Aug 10, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> "I don' believe I know you people," a voice says behind you.  You all turn around to see five - well, the only words that really describe them well are "maritime ruffians".  They are dirty and unkempt, and well-worn sailor-type outfits cover their lanky frames.  You figure the one who spoke is the leader of the group, as he seems to be wearing the best looking clothes (that is, not completely caked in filth).
> 
> "You see, this 'ere is MY dock.  Anyone wantin' to do business on MY dock needs ta go through ME."  He pauses and looks nonchalantly at his fingernails, as if he is only marginally pleased with the manicure he's obviously never had.  After a quick moment he adds, "Plus, there is the small matter of the, er...  Admittance fee."  A couple of his lackeys giggle and snort, and nudge each other conspiratorially.  The leader snaps his fingers and they stop immediately.  "Twenty gold apiece should do nicely.  IF you please?"  He holds out his hand.





I pull out and start Polishing my Badge Whilst also subtly gesturing towards my VERY pointy, VERY pretty Long Sword...

"My my my, you arrived just in time. We are here as Dock inspectors and your dock seems to have failed righteously... I point to a few areas that look just like the rest of the dock..."Like the rot that is showing there, there and there. Also the slippery portions are just a bit too small for the standard dock and not nearly enough people will be tripping while trying to traverse this here dock. Now as to the Fee, yes we will take 20 gold apiece to not report you to the dock authority." Big Evil Grin again..."And you will make sure to have more ropes and such lying into the water at the correct intervals along the dock as well. Now the fee will be collected by Richard Here and we will allow you to go upon your way."
+4 Init... 
GM Information Only Please....
[sblock]
Bluff Skill (+2)
Intimidate Skill (+4)
(If a fight does break out I pull down my Bandana)[/sblock]

So, does it look like we are throwing down?


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 10, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> ... "Twenty gold apiece should do nicely.  IF you please?"  He holds out his hand.





Stunning Fist Punch  DC 15    (+6 fist 1d8+3)  After the surprise punch deserts studders, I...I...I...do n...n...not please.

OOC: I had this open and never saw wgreen's post.  I have a +3 init to see who goes first.


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## Gray Shade (Aug 10, 2005)

Berserker Bill turns to the woman, and gently (or strongly, if necessary) helps her back to her feet and back out the door.   "Always a pleasure, Madam Pisspot, but we have the Duke's business to discuss.  Important matters.  You understand."  Once that's done . . . 

(OOC: do I have any problems or do I get her out of the room?)


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## LogicsFate (Aug 10, 2005)

If things turn for the worse and they attack back, K will step behind richard and cast a spell. "Richard draw your sword and sic'em"

Init +2
[sblock] Blindness(DC18) on the clean one, richards Init +8 [/sblock]

Of course if they don't then K will walk Richard through the money collection


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## Lazlow (Aug 11, 2005)

*There's do-in's a-transpirin' on the docks!*

Ranti pulls out and polishes his badge, making not-so-subtle gestures towards his sharp, shiny longsword.  To this, the ruffians cast nervous looks at each other, but the leader, while obviously impressed with the badge, manages to remain calm and composed.  He takes the tiniest of steps back but crosses his arms defiantly as Ranti begins to speak.

"My my my, you-"

WHAMMO!!!!

Like a lightning bolt, Desert's fist comes flying out of nowhere, smashing in the face of the ruffian's leader, sending him flying back a ways and would have knocked him down if it hadn't have been for a nearby crate.  The look of STUNned (see what I did there) surprise on the leader's face is further augmented by the conspicuous absence of his two front teeth.

"Awww, you've gone and done it now, boyo," one of the larger and stinkier ruffians says.  "Nobody messes with Dockside Dan!"

As if on cue, the ruffians all pull out well-worn belaying pins and start advancing on you, snapping their fingers in unison for some strange reason.  They leave their leader where he stands, unable to move.

Acting quickly, K steps back and motions Richard forward to attack.  She chants a string of arcane words, and the unseen power is palpable as the leader suddenly screams out,  "AIIGGHH!!  I CAN'T SEE!!!"

Richard steps forward with surprising speed and, drawing a finely crafted hand-and-a-half sword from beneath his cloak, calmly and quickly buries the business end of it in the closest villian (2), who doesn't seem to like that at all.  He screams in pain, but still takes a swing at Richard which lands squarely with a thud, but Richard only barely reacts.

Ranti quickly draws that very nice, very sharp longsword of his and, amazingly enough, pulls his rather fashionable bandana down over his eyes.  Brandishing it with a flair (of course), he executes a rather deft lunge to his left, surprising (yet relieving) the brigand directly in front of him (4), as well as surprising (yet stabbing) the brigand that already had a sword in him (2).  He seems to like this sword only half as much as the other, and screams even louder, but a little more gurgly this time.

Dockside Dan continues to stand, leaning wearily up against the crate, looking around yet unable to see anything.

The shortest and fattest of the dockside ruffians (5) steps forward a bit and takes a swipe at Richard, but his feeble attempt glances off the warrior's armored frame.

Desert, intently watching the others engage in battle, figures he ought to, too, and follows suit.  He unleashes a blinding flurry of hands, feet, elbows, and knees, all but one of which connect with the tough in front of him (3).  The would-be assailant drops his makeshift club and falls to his knees, but seems to have caught himself at the last minute.

Another thug (4) takes a swipe at Ranti, but the agile elf ducks and weaves out of the way with ease, despite the blindfold.

The thug on his knees gropes feebly on the ground for his belaying pin.  He picks it up, but his grip is tenuous at best.  

=====================

OOC:  Here's the scene at the beginning of the next round.  Please excuse the crudeness of this map, but Dunjinni's on my home pc.  
(Click for bigness)




Richard takes 2 points of damage.

Actions for the next round?

Just another quick reminder, I'll be offline from this Saturday to the next Sunday.  I might be able to post, but don't count on it.  I'll pick things back up when I return.


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## Lazlow (Aug 11, 2005)

*Sherriff Bill:  Gentleman and Scholar*



			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill turns to the woman, and gently (or strongly, if necessary) helps her back to her feet and back out the door.   "Always a pleasure, Madam Pisspot, but we have the Duke's business to discuss.  Important matters.  You understand."  Once that's done . . .
> 
> (OOC: do I have any problems or do I get her out of the room?)




The woman is, simply, _appalled_ that you, a scruffy commoner, has DARED to lay your hands on her.  She's too suprised and appalled to do anything about it, though, and cries out with a "Well, I NEVER!" and looks to the Captain for help.  The Captain seems equally appalled - so much so, he's simply frozen in place.  He can't believe what's happening.

You manage to scoot her out the door, however, and, shutting it firmly behind you, you turn back to the Captain.  He's turned white as a ghost, which only accents the red wine that's been splashed all over him.  "Tha...  Tha...  Tha...  Mayor's wife...  That's...  The...  Ooooooohhh!"  He faints dead away yet again, and falls with a thump to the floor.


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 11, 2005)

Desert continues to do a flurry of punches.  +4/+4 1d8+3 Non lethal  

OOC I am gone until next week.  Early weekend.


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## Wystan (Aug 12, 2005)

OOC: Stab the sailors?  A Lot?

OOC:


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## Gray Shade (Aug 12, 2005)

Seeing the Captain faint dead away . . . again . . . Berserker Bill drops into a deep reflection.

Why's he bothering?  This is an awful lot of work just to get that Orb.  Heck, it's a lot of work just to get out of this little town.  He wonders what his compatriots are doing at that moment.  Are they taking their newly appointed positions of responsibility seriously?  Are they using the power and authority which they have been vested to uphold the laws of the Dukedom and maintain proper order among the citizenry?  He wonders . . . and decides: no.  Nope, they're probably considering a rampage, attacking the locals in a back alley brawl somewhere with strange pirate/West Side Story half-breeds, spattering their new fineries in the blood of the untried.  Polishing their badges and assuming that they are not only law enforcement agents, but judiciaries and executionaries (?) as well.

 . . . 

With a shrug, he comes out of the deep reflection and considers feeding the Captain to goblins just to stop his constant fainting.

He gives the Captain a bit of a kick and says, his patience wearing quite thin, "My patience is wearing quite thin.  Wake up, moron.  Where's Dudley?"   He removes the paper that the Captain gave him to deliver to Rumpchunk and, if he can get Phyfe to wake up, holds the paper in front of him.  Once Phyfe has come to his senses, somewhat, anyway, Berserker Bill touches the side of his nose and says, "What would the butcher do to you if he found out that his papers disapeared while in your care?"  He quickly gives him a little smack to try to keep him conscious.  "Stay with me."  He gives the papers a little tear and finishes, "It's all right, Phyfe.  I'm not going to hurt you.  I'm just looking for Dudley, and I'm not going to hurt him either.  It's to help the Duke.  Don't you want to help the Duke?  And yourself?  Just tell me where he is, and you'll get your papers back and I'll walk out and you can have a little wine and forget all about me and Rumpchunk'll get his papers and everyone will be happy."  He then wonders how long it takes for the DT's to kick in.  He looks at the morning sun and decides he doesn't want to waste the day waiting for the Captain to go into withdrawls.  If this doesn't work, he wonders if the goblins would maybe trade free passage to the Orb's underground lair in exchange for the Captian.  Of course, the orb's no good without the Paladin.  He grows more impatient and shakes Phyfe, THE RAGE growing within him.


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## DrZombie (Aug 13, 2005)

*The Plot Thickens*

Once again the door opens. A figure encased in armor stands in the doorway. His helmet is shaped in the form of a demon-dog, and foul-smelling smoke emenates from the snout. A deep red glow can be seen from the inside.

The aparition stares at you. It looks from the near-unconcious captain to the deputy. At the sight of the wine-drenched captain being held hostage he tenses, and the air trembles as he shows signs of rising anger.

The figure raises his arm, and points at the sheriff.
"*You. What do you have to say for yourself. There is no excuse for this henious crime."*

He bends over and grabs the bottle of wine. he lifts irt and studies the bottle.

"* Like I thought. Fifteen year old Pinot Noir. The gods only know how this insignificant little person got his hands on it."*

He lifts his visor and removes the object responsible for the foul stench from his lips. He then takes a good mouthfull straight from the bottle. He swirls it around in hisd mouth, then swallows. By the looks of him, he's a half-orc, and quite a good looking one as well.

"*Mmmmmmh. Like the angels of the good lord of retribution himself pissing on your tongue. Now if you could point me towards Sheriff Bill I'll leave you with whatever business you have with this gentlemen. I myself prefer women, and I pride myself in the fact that I do not have to tie them up first, but every men to his own pleasures, I say."*


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## LogicsFate (Aug 16, 2005)

Visibly shaken by the proximity of the ruffian(5), K very carefully backs up "NO Richard, Get the short fat one" pointing at ruffian(5)

OOC:[sblock] withdraw,to avoid AoO, 5ft to behind Ranti[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Aug 29, 2005)

The captain slowly regains conciousness, and ever so gently opens his eyes only to see the cause of all his current troubles, that accursed "Sherriff", standing over him.  He starts to cringe, but something about this man's demeanor stops him...  The deep state of repose and reflection on his face is calming, almost soothing.  The Captain thinks for a moment, then decides he's not so bad after all.  He starts to sit up - 

<KICK> "My patience is wearing quite thin.  Wake up, moron.  Where's Dudley?"  

"Ack!  I told you!  Dudley's not here!  No one's seen him for weeks!"

 "What would the butcher do to you if he found out that his papers disapeared while in your care?"  <SMACK>  "Stay with me."  <Tears paper> "It's all right, Phyfe.  I'm not going to hurt you.  I'm just looking for Dudley, and I'm not going to hurt him either.  It's to help the Duke.  Don't you want to help the Duke?  And yourself?  Just tell me where he is, and you'll get your papers back and I'll walk out and you can have a little wine and forget all about me and Rumpchunk'll get his papers and everyone will be happy."

The captain has clearly had all he can take and handles it in the only way a man of his character can.  No, not that way, thankfully.  This way:  He begins to cry.  And cry he does.  Cry, cry, cry, cry.  Like a wee little babe, he does.

In between sobs he manages to say, "<huh-UNH huh huh-UNH> Tha-that's your re-re-re-waaaaaaAAARRD AAAAAWWWWW HOOOOooooo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo...."   He points at the paper the Sherriff has been currently subjecting to torture, upon which is written, _This certificate entitles the bearer to his or her choice of five pounds of cured meats._

The captain crawls over into the corner and continues to sob uncontrollably.  Evidently this was a long time coming.


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## Lazlow (Aug 29, 2005)

*The Plot Sickens*



			
				DrZombie said:
			
		

> Once again the door opens. A figure encased in armor stands in the doorway. His helmet is shaped in the form of a demon-dog, and foul-smelling smoke emenates from the snout. A deep red glow can be seen from the inside.




In the hallway behind this terror-inducing figure comes a quick "Aaaaiiiiieeeee..." and the dainty body of a well-dressed woman falls to the ground with a delicate THUD...


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 29, 2005)

OOC:  Help I am lost, what is going on at the docks?


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## Lazlow (Aug 29, 2005)

OOC:  The fight's still on at the docks.  There are two "sub-threads" going on right now:  one with you, Logics Fate, and Wystan down at the docks fending off ruffians, and another with Grey Shade and Dr. Zombie (who's just arrived).  Working on the dock fight right now.


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## Lazlow (Aug 29, 2005)

The previously pummelled pirate (3) slowly recovers and tries to get up off his knees.

K remembers something about discretion, valor, and staying alive, and takes a step backward, siccing Richard on her would-be assailant.  Richard obeys immediately, quickly inserting pointy sword A into brigand B (5), with loud, screaming, painful results (to the brigand).

Twisting his body ever so subtly, Ranti deftly avoids a club attack from the ruffian to his left, and answers the slight with an insulting stab at an entirely different villian (4) as if to say, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that meant for me?  Here, let me kill your friend."  Unfortunately, the entirely different villian (4) is able to beat away Ranti's surprise attack with his club.

Dockside Dan finally regains his senses (Well...  All but one sense, that is) and tries and feel his way around.  He's dropped to his knees now, and is apparently trying to move away from the sounds of the fight.

Brigand B (5), recently impaled by Richard's large sword, feels Richard leastways deserves a good talking-to, and speaks volumes with a club strike to the noggin.  It connects, but again, Richard barely seems to notice such things, much to the chagrin of the enstabbed brigand.

Desert decides that the assailant in front of him should stay down on the ground where he was, and makes it so with a sharp kick to the man's forehead, sending him to the ground with a wet thud.  Desert notices a festively-colored fluid seeping out from under the man's head, making interesting shiny patterns...

The last punk (4), empowered by his successfully fending off Ranti's attack, makes one of his own.  But it is not quick or powerful enough to besmirch the dandy attire of this particularly agile elf, and his club is beaten back post haste.





============

OOC:  Richard takes 5 damage.  Actions for the next round?


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## LogicsFate (Aug 30, 2005)

K smilies, saftly out of harms way she is given time to ponder her options; She could cast a spell, write a poem, drink a potion, or have a snack. But for now she shall wait, perhaps look around for and people watch, maybe check to see if willies in sight

OOC: [sblock]Delay until...[/sblock]

Of course all this could change 

OOC: [sblock] The next thug that conects on a party member get a face full of burning ray
Move action to find a better position, Burning Ray- Touch attack[/sblock]

But if it doesn't

OOC: [sblock] If they are just that unlucky to miss completely, then she will cast Magic Weapon on Desert turning him into a +1 Desert [/sblock]


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 30, 2005)

Desert watches the ink blot patterns created from the shiny blood.


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## Wystan (Aug 30, 2005)

"You scurvy dogs, thought you could take on the fanciest warrior in the whole of elvendom? You should know better then to challenge...Ranti Akande!"

Whilst saying this I will stab at the sounds of crawling.

"Our side would never flee by crawling, you must be one of the scurvy dogs. I will stab you with haste and hope to my patrons that you die a slow painful death. I offered you the chance to flee and you instead attacked. You made a powerful mistake this day my friend. I Ranti Akande will make sure that all that attacked here today will never walk home again. I of course mean only those that attacked me and my companions.


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 30, 2005)

Upon hearing this, Desert walks over to each of the thugs, and he rolls them onto there backs.  Than putting a foot on the thighs, he grabs the ankle and pulls up.  Desert is trying to snap the leg at the knee.  (str +3)


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## Gray Shade (Aug 30, 2005)

Berserker Bill pulls out his knife to slit the throat of the Captain, because quite frankly, he's had it with the whole thing--Dudley be damned--when some sort of giant brute comes in asking about a Sherriff. (oh, now, you know Bill wouldn't cut a man's throat in cold blood!)

Bill puts his knife back, throws the reward paper at Phyfe, saying "Use all 5 pounds to get liver."

He turns to the new "man" on the scene and says, "I'm Sherriff Berserker Bill.  What are you supposed to be and who sent you?"

(OOC: Man, Desert is hardcore!)


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## Lazlow (Aug 30, 2005)

*At the Docks - Round Three!*

K, as is a woman's prerogative, appears to feel that her companions have these scoundrels under control, and takes a moment to gather herself and freshen up.

Richard continues to defend his mistress, slashing mightily at his appointed ruffian (5), but the ruffian, more scared than agile, manages to dodge in the nick of time, screaming to his companion next to him, "Herbert!  Help me!  Heelllllpp!!"

Herbert (2) pays no attention to his pleading partner and takes a swipe at Ranti again, but his attack was as effective as the last one - that is to say, not at all.  Ranti bobs and weaves effortlessly while taunting them:  "You scurvy dogs, thought you could take on the fanciest warrior in the whole of elvendom? You should know better then to challenge...Ranti Akande!"  Hearing Dockside Dan trying to escape a few feet away, he pirouettes to his right, spinning around the thug in front of him (his brightly colored cloak twisting and fluttering with the move, thoroughly confounding said thug for a moment), stopping - surprisingly - on _top_ of the villian Desert felled a moment ago.  Still moving fluidly, Ranti drops into a crouch and stabs downward toward the scuffling sounds, connecting only with the wooden planks of the dock underfoot.  Dockside Dan, hearing and feeling something *whoosh* past him incredibly quickly, flings himself onto his back and starts scuttling backwards like a frightened crab.  Ranti continues his rant:  "Our side would never flee by crawling, you must be one of the scurvy dogs. I will stab you with haste and hope to my patrons that you die a slow painful death. I offered you the chance to flee and you instead attacked. You made a powerful mistake this day my friend. I Ranti Akande will make sure that all that attacked here today will never walk home again. I of course mean only those that attacked me and my companions."

The screaming scalawag (5) decides he's had enough of all of this and, throwing his club at Richard (to no effect) turns to make a running dive off the dock and into the harbor.  Sensing an opportunity to exploit, however, Richard brings his sword round in a large arc on his left, stopping the scalawag's plan.  Well, stopping _half_ of his plan, anyway...  The brigand's head and shoulders plop into the water, but the rest of him just falls in a heap on the edge of the dock.

Desert, hearing Ranti's "suggestion", shrugs his shoulders and bends down to grab the leg of the nearest (living) thug (4).  Not quite sure what the monk is up to, the thug simply bashes him on the back with his club.  Desert feels the blow, but - 

Oh ho, what's this?!?  It seems that K hadn't completely disengaged herself from the battle, as she fires a fiery ray of, er, _fire_ from her fingertips, thoroughly scorching the upper half of the thug, leaving him nicely roasted.  Oh, and screaming in quite obvious agony, too.  As he starts to fall over, Desert stands up quickly, summarily snapping the leg of the smoldering thug in twain at the knee.  Interestingly enough, the villian _actually_ pauses in mid fall with a look on his face (or, at least, what remains of his face) that says, "Oh, come now, is that _really_ necessary?"  He lands in a heap and expires forthwith.

The remaining brigand, seeing most of his companions lying in pieces (some of them smoking) around him, looks at you all in terror, but stands his ground.  "Dan!" he says, "What are you DOING?!?!?  Get up here!!!"





=================

OOC:  Desert takes 8 damage, Richard takes another 3.

Actions?


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## Lazlow (Aug 30, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill pulls out his knife to slit the throat of the Captain, because quite frankly, he's had it with the whole thing--Dudley be damned--when some sort of giant brute comes in asking about a Sherriff.




Seeing the gleaming blade of the Sherriff's long knife, Captain Phyfe promptly loses his grip on conciousness yet again.


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 30, 2005)

Ignoring the pain of the blow, Desert heads to the next thug.


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## Wystan (Aug 30, 2005)

"Oh-ho, faster than I thought. Well, none the less I shall flay thee within an inch of your life. The leader should suffer the worst they say. Desert, maim the leader.
I proceed to stab at the remaining thugs and Dan as much as possible.


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## LogicsFate (Aug 30, 2005)

K moves quickly, rounding the fight and the box to bar Dan’s progress Striking her earlier pose and belting out a grating laugh,

 K proceeds to berates Dan, for his evil ways *"I hope you've seen the error of your ways, Attacking people with no provocation is wrong. Being wrong is evil and evil never wins" 

"I can just sincerely hope your eyes have been opened by this experience, and you will now look for a more appropriate job" *  

K taps her foot impatiently*"Look at me when I talking to you"*


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## Lazlow (Aug 30, 2005)

> K moves quickly, rounding the fight and the box to bar Dan’s progress Striking her earlier pose and belting out a grating laugh, K proceeds to berates Dan, for his evil ways "I hope you've seen the error of your ways, Attacking people with no provocation is wrong. Being wrong is evil and evil never wins"
> "I can just sincerely hope your eyes have been opened by this experience, and you will now look for a more appropriate job"
> K taps her foot impatiently "Look at me when I talking to you"




Richard, still following orders, stabs at the remaining vagabond.  And with great success, too, it seems, as he slides off of Richard's sword and falls to the ground in a heap.

Ranti springs down from his perch on the dead thug and says, "Oh-ho, faster than I thought. Well, none the less I shall flay thee within an inch of your life. The leader should suffer the worst they say. Desert, maim the leader."  Measuring Dockside Dan's life right up to that last inch, he proceeds to make good on his promise, flourishing his sword hither and yon to deliver the killing stroke.  But, alas, he flourished one flourish too much, and his sword flew most flourishly out of his hand and stuck (with a flourish) in the crate off to his left.

Dockside Dan, sensing he is surrounded, pulls out a long, wicked dagger and begins flailing around him blindly (of course).  He comes close to K, but she easily steps out of the way.

Ignoring the pain of the blow to the back he received earlier, Desert moves in on the leader of these thugs and follows Ranti's suggestion, maiming him quickly and efficiently.  However, his measurement isn't as precise as Ranti's would have been, as he went well past that last inch of Dockside Dan's life, and he (Dan) presently expires.

And with that, the last of Dockside Dan's Dockside Gang is no more.

With this nasty business over, you all notice for the first time the crowd that has gathered around you to watch.  Most of the townspeople seem relieved, if not outright happy, that this maritime bully is finally gone.  Of course, now that there are bodies to be disposed of, most of them leave.

However, you do notice three people standing off in the distance, just outside The Water Weasel:  A very large, very fat man wearing a purple doublet over white shirt, brown leggings, and bright green shoes (quite ridiculous, really, for a man of such immense girth), and two shady-looking characters flanking him on either side.  Literally shady, to be sure, as they each are completely covered in long brown cloaks with hoods.  The fat man looks at you, and as your eyes meet, he nods tersely, a frown clouding his face.  He turns (quite a laborious task for him, I assure you) and goes back inside The Water Weasel.  His two cloaked companions follow him inside, melding into the shadows within.

Suddenly, breaking the eerie mood of the scene, a voice rings out from on high:  "Oy!  Who be ye, ye who be cleanin' th' docks o' this vermin?"  Turning, you see that it's Wet Willie, the Harbormaster.  Somehow, he's climbed up and taken a seat on top of the crate in which Ranti's sword is stuck (indeed, the sword is sticking out right under one of Wet Willie's feet).  He claps his hooks together in applause, making a _tink, tink, tink_ sound.


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## Wystan (Aug 30, 2005)

I lift my Blindfold, proceed to puke over the dockside and lower the blindfold again.
"K, can you please hand me my sword?
I turn towards the voice that I hear off to the side...
"I would be Ranti Akande, Swordsman of Renown. I am a duly authorized deputy and this scum was on the receiving end of wee deserved justice.


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## Lazlow (Aug 30, 2005)

"Well, ye be doin' the town a great service, aye," Wet Willie says as he scoots closer to the edge of the crate.  "We're obligin' to yeeeeAAAIIIGGHHH!!!!!" he concludes, now dangling from the side of the large wooden box; it seems that Ranti's sword was not stuck _under_ his (peg) leg so much as it was stuck _through_ his peg leg, right into the crate.  He is momentarily surrounded by a flurry of red, green, gold, and blue feathers as his parrots flap about him, finally coming to rest on his crotch and the other outstretched leg.  "Oy!  Now what trickery be this?!?" he complains, flailing his arms about, trying to right himself.


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## LogicsFate (Aug 31, 2005)

K wears an expression of immense presure right up until Willie starts talking, she flinches at each tink, and scowls at his mishap *"Sure"* as a response to Ranti

Walking over to the crate, K grabs the pommel and gives a harsh pull, meant to seperate the weapon from both the crate and WW. *"Here Ranti, your sword-rapier thing"*  she tosses it to him.


Looking around at the felled enemies*"I guess we should bury them. I'll do it! First though, Richard and I need to buy a shovel" * Richard and K go buy a shovel and some paper if she doesn't already own any  and a pen and ink.

Edit: As an almost after thought *"Richard put away your weapon and come on"*

2nd Edit: OOC: What's a doublet


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## DrZombie (Aug 31, 2005)

*Gruaamsh Skullcleaver.*



			
				Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill pulls out his knife to slit the throat of the Captain, because quite frankly, he's had it with the whole thing--Dudley be damned--when some sort of giant brute comes in asking about a Sherriff. (oh, now, you know Bill wouldn't cut a man's throat in cold blood!)
> 
> Bill puts his knife back, throws the reward paper at Phyfe, saying "Use all 5 pounds to get liver."
> 
> ...




"*I'm Gruaamsh skullcleaver*" The half-orc says, taking another swig from his bottle. "*And if you kill that man in cold blood you'll find out who I'm supposed to be*."
"*Anyway, they say you are putting together a team of adventurers to find an orb of some kind. I do not know why on earth these people just can't seem to help themselves, but, well, here I am, 'ready to serve' * " He says with a slight tone of disgust in his voice.


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## Lazlow (Aug 31, 2005)

K yanks the weapon free, and Wet Willie lands on the ground with a thud.  "Hrm, huh-hrm, arr, nasty business that, arr, yarr..." he mumbles as he sets himself upright, his parrots settling back into their usual perches.  "Well, me lubbers, ye can rest assured ol' Wet Willie'll be informin' the Captain o' the guarrrd o' yer heroics, arr!"  He stands up "quickly" (quite a spectacle indeed, at one point he resembles a knee-less camel), and says, "Yarr, there'll be quite a rewarrrd in it for ye if Wet Willie has anything to saaAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!......" he finishes as he walks straight over the edge of the dock and lands in the water with a *sploosh*.


==========

OOC:  A doublet is a kind of a coaty, vesty-like thingy, which may or may not have sleeves (the fat man's doesn't).  Here's a bad pic of one:  http://www.pillagedvillage.com/intpvonline/images/bigpics/doublet.jpg


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## Ranger Rick (Aug 31, 2005)

Desert ignoring Wet Willie tilts his head as he watches the blood puddle in the dirt.


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## Wystan (Aug 31, 2005)

With blindfold still firmly in place...I walk towards the dock edge to help Willie up whilst speaking...

"My good dockmaster sir. We appreciate the offer and will be sure to do our best to continue to police your fair city whilst we have the opportunity. The fellows here..." I gesture around slightly broadly "decided to test our mettle. I would hope we do not need to do this again. But villainy of any stripe must be stopped. We are but humble adventurers thrown into the cruel mercy of deputy hood. We seek to right wrongs and have great ballads sung about our worthiness. We got these matching outfits so that we could easily be recognized and we know that the populace will feel safer knowing that we are seeking to protect them while we are here. All we ask in return is small rewards and presents. Desert here..." again with the wild gesturing "is a formidable foe as are Richard and K. None should cross us.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 1, 2005)

*"Here, here"*  Arriving on the scene seeminigly moments after she left, K claps lightly and the elfs beautifully delivered speach

K continues by directing richard to stack the bodies to one side. She casts a simple spell [sblock]Detect magic[/sblock] and shortly there after she picks up the lightest of the thugs and intructs richard to pick up the heaviest two. Taking them to somewhere with soft soil and a landmark


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 1, 2005)

Desert starts tilting his head at an unatural angle, twisting himself around, as he watches the blood flow


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## Gray Shade (Sep 1, 2005)

Berserker Bill gives the Half-Orc a nod and salute of his hat.  He then walks toward the door, stopping in front of the newcomer.  He says,  "I don't kill in cold blood, but his shenanigans about convinced me otherwise.  You're right, though, he's not worth it.  So you're here to join in, eh?"  Bill looks him up and down.  "Perfect!  Walk down to the docks with me so we can collect the rest of the party and get on our way.  I would never question your obvious strength of arm and hardness of body and am glad to have your help; however, the duke's plan had included Sir Dudley, as we heard he was a brave and pious warrior.  You look pretty brave and pious . . . are you?  Brave . . . and pious?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 1, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> With blindfold still firmly in place...I walk towards the dock edge to help Willie up whilst speaking...
> 
> "My good dockmaster sir. We appreciate the offer and will be sure to do our best to continue to police your fair city whilst we have the opportunity. The fellows here..." I gesture around slightly broadly "decided to test our mettle. I would hope we do not need to do this again. But villainy of any stripe must be stopped. We are but humble adventurers thrown into the cruel mercy of deputy hood. We seek to right wrongs and have great ballads sung about our worthiness. We got these matching outfits so that we could easily be recognized and we know that the populace will feel safer knowing that we are seeking to protect them while we are here. All we ask in return is small rewards and presents. Desert here..." again with the wild gesturing "is a formidable foe as are Richard and K. None should cross us.




The finely-choreographed ballet of rowboats, ropes, and pulleys that is the fetching of Wet Willie from the water once again takes place.  As he is hoisted back up, he says, "Oh ho!  I, uh...  What did ye say?  Er, no matter, no matter.  Come wi' me, all o' ye, 'n' I'll buy ye all a round o' grog afore I go t' th' Cap'n's office, aye.  What say ye?"  He gestures with his hand to what you can only assume would be the closest bar, which is The Water Weasel, but his dripping wet hook is pointing out to sea.


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## Lazlow (Sep 1, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> *"Here, here"*  Arriving on the scene seeminigly moments after she left, K claps lightly and the elfs beautifully delivered speach
> 
> K continues by directing richard to stack the bodies to one side. She casts a simple spell [sblock]Detect magic[/sblock] and shortly there after she picks up the lightest of the thugs and intructs richard to pick up the heaviest two. Taking them to somewhere with soft soil and a landmark




As you return to the scene, a couple of the town guards wander down onto the docks.  (Truth be told, they were there all along, simply watching with the rest of the crowd; once the townspeople dispersed and they were exposed, they felt obliged to at least put in an "official" appearance.)

The shorter of the two walks up to the group.  "What's all this, then?"


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 1, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> .....The shorter of the two walks up to the group.  "What's all this, then?"





Desert looks up from his ink (blood) blot pic, "I think it is a mountain swallow or a red oak that was hit by lightening 168 years ago.  I have not figured which."


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## LogicsFate (Sep 2, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> The shorter of the two walks up to the group.  "What's all this, then?"




K had just started to hoist the thug up, when the guards spoke. Face twisting in guilt and suprise she quickly drops the thug behind herself and takes a few step toward the men, in an attempt to hide the body from direct sight *"It's not what it looks like officer"* ... *"I uh, Tell them Ranti!"*


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## Lazlow (Sep 2, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> Desert looks up from his ink (blood) blot pic, "I think it is a mountain swallow or a red oak that was hit by lightening 168 years ago.  I have not figured which."




The town guards look at you dully, not quite comprehending what you're saying.

After an uncomfortable pause, the same one speaks up again:  "Uh...  Are these blokes 'ere dead?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 2, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K had just started to hoist the thug up, when the guards spoke. Face twisting in guilt and suprise she quickly drops the thug behind herself and takes a few step toward the men, in an attempt to hide the body from direct sight




As you step forward, the taller guard perks up.  He looks you up and down with wide eyes, quite oblivious to the fact that his jaw is hanging open.  Apparently he's used to the local women, who usually wear much more clothing.

*"It's not what it looks like officer"* ... *"I uh, Tell them Ranti!"*

His one track mind tells his jaw to snap shut and a pained look comes across his face.  His eyes meet yours and with a whimper he says, "I-It's not?"  He looks you up and down once more, then lets out a heavy sigh.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 2, 2005)

Desert looks up, "Dead?  In todays day and age with magical healing and zombies and skeletons, is anyone really dead?  I believe they are visiting a different plane.  What did you do to them?  Did you do something and now you are trying to repent?"


OOC: I will be gone today till Tuesday.


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## Wystan (Sep 2, 2005)

I step foward and flourish in the direction that the guards should be in...

"Good sirs, we merely disposed of the spoils of a society that would choose to hoist themselves on those that they see as less able. We deprived them of the one thing that they sought to deprive others of. A good life. We would have let them go but they decided that we would be good marks and easy to get money out of. I tried to talk them out of it and they would not listen to reason. As you can see We were able to wipe the floor with them Blindfolded and not even breathing too heavy."

I gesture around again...

"The good people of the city deserve to have freedom and peace. These ruffians decided that they could decide the fates of those that they met. We will continue to fight oppression and destroy the oppressors."

I bow, turn to walk off the dock so I can finally remove the blindfold.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 2, 2005)

K glances at Desert, competely lost on whatever point he is trying to get across



			
				Wystan said:
			
		

> "Good sirs, we merely disposed of the spoils of a society that would choose to hoist themselves on those that they see as less able. We deprived them of the one thing that they sought to deprive others of. A good life. We would have let them go but they decided that we would be good marks and easy to get money out of. I tried to talk them out of it and they would not listen to reason. As you can see We were able to wipe the floor with them Blindfolded and not even breathing too heavy."




Yeah



			
				Wystan said:
			
		

> "The good people of the city deserve to have freedom and peace. These ruffians decided that they could decide the fates of those that they met. We will continue to fight oppression and destroy the oppressors."




 Yeah!

So you guys dont even have to worry about anything] says K taking a step closer,  we'll clean up and everything


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## DrZombie (Sep 2, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill gives the Half-Orc a nod and salute of his hat.  He then walks toward the door, stopping in front of the newcomer.  He says,  "I don't kill in cold blood, but his shenanigans about convinced me otherwise.  You're right, though, he's not worth it.  So you're here to join in, eh?"  Bill looks him up and down.  "Perfect!  Walk down to the docks with me so we can collect the rest of the party and get on our way.  I would never question your obvious strength of arm and hardness of body and am glad to have your help; however, the duke's plan had included Sir Dudley, as we heard he was a brave and pious warrior.  You look pretty brave and pious . . . are you?  Brave . . . and pious?"





The half-orc snorts.
"*Ohuh. Brave. I ain't stupid and I ain't suicidal. But I'm not used to running away when things look like someone's gonna get hurt either. And pious? Well, I'm not an obnoxious stuck-up holier-than-thou, follow-my-commands-or-a-hell-hound-will-rise-and-bite-you-in-the-arse kinda feller, but I get along quite nicely with my Patron*."
He turns and looks at Sheriff Bill.

"*And you? Brave and pious?* "


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## Gray Shade (Sep 2, 2005)

Berserker Bill smirks an appreciative smirk.  "Brave and pious?  Well, I hold my own in a fight and have split creatures twice my size into hunks of bleeding meat a quarter my size, but if I were truly brave and pious I wouldn't have been trying to find Sir Dudley.  Come," he says as he walks out the door.  As he moves through the hall and back outside, he finishes, "I like your style, good sir!  Allow me to deputize you so that you can join us on our quest."

On the walk back toward the docks, Berserker Bill pulls out an extra Deputy pack and hands it to his new ally.  "Do you swear to uphold the and so on and so on, but most importantly help me find the mystic Chromium Orb of Frobozz and keep it from evil hands?  If so, excellent!  Consider yourself deputized, and here's 200 gold to get you started."

For details on the Deputy Pack and the mission, see the following recap (in sblock to save space only):

[sblock]
"Now. If you'll each open your deputy kit, you'll find the following." Here, he opens his bag and narrates as he removes items one at a time.

"Your badge of course. It's silver *ahem*colored*ahem* and is the proof to citizens of you authority. When wearing, try to maintain your command presense. Do not let anyone get the best of you while you wear this. And under no circumstances are you to panic while wearing this badge. Remember," he indicates his own badge on his strap, "this is what keeps us humanoid." He stops with his hand reaching for the next item and adds, "and don't try to throw it like a throwing star. It won't work. It will only embarrass you, especially don't do it in front of your fiance's family. Crap. What else is in here?"

"You should also find a signal whistle, on a lanyard." He indicates the lanyard (rope necklace) and then puts it around his neck. "If there is trouble, and you cannot handle it on your own, blow in this. This is very important when you are on watch or patrol, but NOT to be used when sneaking or when a companion is sneaking, unless the trouble is very bad and you panic, which you won't do. If you hear a whistle," he blows whistle, "run toward the sound and assist as you can. I try to start by saying, 'what is the trouble? how may I be of assistance?' You can say what you like, but those are proven as combat ready. When you use the whistle, try to blow 3 times. Do not suck. That, too, is just embarrassing."

"Let's see . . . you also have a quarter pound bar of soap. I think Ranti will appreciate this. Despite his first impression of me, I try to stay clean. As a representative of the Duke, you will be expected to be hygenic. I don't think I need to say anything more about that." He tosses the bar of soap he was holding in front of Richard and continues.

"Silvered Dagger. Important for many reasons. Good against werewolves, ghosts, lycanthropes . . . uh . . . elementals, I think. All kinds of stuff. Basically, if the regular stuff isn't working, try this baby."

"Cube of wood. This is about 4 inches each side. You can use it for whatever you need to. It's nice for whitling on while you're on a long trip. Goes hand in hand with the dagger, see?" He whitles a curl of wood off the block. "You could also whittle maybe a door stop or something that might be useful . . . maybe a . . . It's not really big enough to carve a wooden stake out of, but I think silvered daggers work on vampires, so we shouldn't need that anyway."

"This is all standard-issue stuff. Uh . . . oh! You got a whetstone, of course. To keep your dagger sharp. You can use that on pretty much any edged weapon."

"Nice, thick pair of wool socks. Just in case we find ourselves somewhere cold."

"Piece of chalk. This is good for both drawing on rocks or tables." Here he tries to draw a line on the table to illustrate, but there's beer perspiration and it doesn't really draw. He tries a few more times until it makes a white mark. "Like so. Easy. You could draw a map, or a monster you saw, or a dog you saw the monster eat, or whatever. Also, if we get caught in any kind of maze: this! THIS is what you'll want more than anything . . . and, as deputies, you'll have it."

"That's about it, really. Oh, and the sack itself. Very important for carrying loo-er, evidence. Good sturdy sack for each of us, because carrying capacity becomes SO important."

"Now, of course you'll want to supplement all this with your personalized gear, weaponry and armor. But I urge you all not to overlook the items which can become so much more useful than a sword . . . heh . . . well, not more useful than a SWORD really, but you know, useful. Some people like the 10 foot pole, some like the pitons, the rope, grappling hook, so on, so on. Myself, I trust in the bucket." He shows off a very nice, sturdy bucket. He kisses its side. "This bucket's saved my life. It will again."

"And here's your money." He then pulls out 5 bags of gold. "This is for your time and talents. There's 200 in each bag. Once we've retrieved what we're looking for, and it's out of evil hands, you'll get twice that on top of it."

"We're going after a magical device called the Chromium Orb of Frobozz. It's hidden underground near Lizard Spit. Now, I know the general direction, and I know we're gonna have to go through the goblins that have been terrorizing this town. I also know that this may get ugly, but if you take my money and deputy kit and I don't see you here in the morning it's going to get even uglier. I am a member of the tracking corps, that's how I got here. So if you're in, you're in, and you'll be ready tomorrow to head through goblins and underground to protect this item from evil hands and protect the citizenry of this fine Dukedom . . . also from evil hands."

OOC: Each Deputy kit weighs 3 pounds.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Sep 2, 2005)

LogicsFate:
[sblock]You didn't find anything magical on or about the thugs.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Sep 2, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> Desert looks up, "Dead?  In todays day and age with magical healing and zombies and skeletons, is anyone really dead?  I believe they are visiting a different plane.  What did you do to them?  Did you do something and now you are trying to repent?"




The taller one stops ogling K and screams, "ZOMBIES?!?!?!  AAAAIIIGGGGHHH!!!!" and runs off, back into town.  The shorter one sighs, waves at the bodies, and says to no one in particular, "Clean all this up...  Yeah.  Just, er, clean it up."   He then starts back up the hill into town, after his partner.

=========

OOC: I will be gone today till Tuesday.

I think we all will...


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## Lazlow (Sep 2, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> I step foward and flourish in the direction that the guards should be in...
> 
> "Good sirs, we merely disposed of the spoils of a society that would choose to hoist themselves on those that they see as less able. We deprived them of the one thing that they sought to deprive others of. A good life. We would have let them go but they decided that we would be good marks and easy to get money out of. I tried to talk them out of it and they would not listen to reason. As you can see We were able to wipe the floor with them Blindfolded and not even breathing too heavy."
> 
> ...




The remaining guard stops, turns, and listens, absolutely flabbergasted by your speech.  He stands there slack-jawed and wide-eyed, never having heard such eloquent loquacity before in this tiny burg.  As you leave, he shakes himself and looks around him, wondering if anyone else was as affected by this as he was.  A bit embarrassed, he turns to go.

"So you guys dont even have to worry about anything," says K taking a step closer, "we'll clean up and everything."

"Uh, yeah...  Yeah.  Do that."  He finally leaves.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 2, 2005)

"Good work guys"   K gives them a hearty thumbs up and hoists the body again. She and Richard can be seen taking them to a large tree nearby the docks.

She then returns as Richard begins to dig


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## Lazlow (Sep 3, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> "Good work guys"   K gives them a hearty thumbs up and hoists the body again. She and Richard can be seen taking them to a large tree nearby the docks.
> 
> She then returns as Richard begins to dig




Shortly you notice a few of the townsfolk giving you strange looks, and after a few minutes of this one of them finally walks up to you.

"Uh...  Just what are you doing, here?  Don't you think they should be buried in the _cemetary_, if they really deserve a burial at all?  I mean, I don't know where _you're_ from," he says, eyeing you up and down, "but around these parts we're not in the habit of burying bodies _in_ the town."


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## LogicsFate (Sep 3, 2005)

*O!
ah
um
...
...
...*
K unable to think of a decent excuse, stamers for a bit...
Then grows angry
*"Why do you even care? I thought all you guys were extremly apathetic!"*

If they persist...

K does some quick wizard thinking and comes up with a good lie *"Yes well, If I buried them in a graveyard I might forget where I put them, and then how would I retrieve the bodies later?!?"* yup, a good lie


OOC: I'm out of country for a few days starting tomorrow, I may be able to post, I may not


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## Lazlow (Sep 4, 2005)

"Well," the commoner replies flatly, "we may be apathetic (and none more so than I), but we aren't a town of - of...  What do you call those creepy people...  Death Mages?  Raisers of Undead?  What is that name...  Er..."  He pauses a while, lost in thought.  He looks around, trying to remember that name, and glances back at you.  Suddenly pipes up:  "Ah!  Necromancers.  Yes.  That's it."  He resumes his previous scolding tone.  "We aren't a town of Necromancers, you know."  He turns and walks off, shaking his head.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 6, 2005)

"Does that mean we made a wrong turn or did they?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 6, 2005)

OOC:  Who is Desert talking to?  I'm


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 6, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> OOC:  Who is Desert talking to?  I'm




OOC:  NO one in particular, I just wanted to let you know I was back.  I guess I forced it.


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## Wystan (Sep 6, 2005)

"K, we should speed up the burying of the bodies. We may want to tie some rocks to them and bury them at sea...if you know what I mean. he villagers appear to be getting restless and I would hate to have to show them all my prowess as a combatant. I would have to slay the whole town if one of them tried, and that could make my outft messy."


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## Lazlow (Sep 6, 2005)

> OOC: NO one in particular, I just wanted to let you know I was back. I guess I forced it.




OOC:  Oh, sorry I didn't catch that. [/derail]


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## Lazlow (Sep 6, 2005)

Berserker Bill returns to the docks with the newest member of the party, Gruammsh Skullcleaver.  Looking down the shore a ways, they see the rest of the party gathered around a tree and what seems to be a pile of dead bodies.  The two burly warriors start make their way through the tangle of nets, ropes, and crates that line the docks.

Suddenly, a small-to-medium-sized clamor arises from behind them.  A small-to-medium-sized crowd of people are hurrying out of the Water Weasel (hence the accompanying clamor), some of them brandishing weapons, others running and yelling, others pushing still others out of the way.  Something's excited them, that's for sure, and they're headed in the same direction as our two burly warriors.  As the crowd surges closer and closer, Bill and Gruammsh overhear various words and phrases being bandied about:  Words like "Kill", "Reward", and (strangely) "Gumbo"; and phrases such as "Hundred gold a head", "Dibs on the wench", and "There they are, gathered around that tree and what seems to be a pile of dead bodies".

Our two burly warriors look at the crowd, then look at each other, then look at their companions, then back at the crowd, then finally back at each other again.  They figure it'll take about a minute for the crowd to reach them, maybe two to reach the rest of the party.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 6, 2005)

Desert says to no one in particular, "I think someone might be in trouble."


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## Gray Shade (Sep 7, 2005)

Berserker Bill whispers to Gruammsh, "Make sure you got your badge on," then, with a quick polish of his own badge, he strides boldly toward the oncoming crowd.  As he approaches he raises both hands in a calming motion and says, "okay, okay, I'm the Duke's sheriff in this district.  What seems to be the trouble, now?  Just calm down and tell me what's going on."  He positions himself as he approaches directly in front of whoever is walking at their front so that their point-man, as it were, will have to either walk right into him, change his direction, or stop.  If he stops, Bill looks him right in the eyes and demands, "Speak up!  What's this all about?"


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## DrZombie (Sep 8, 2005)

The half-orc draws his sword and places himself behind Sheriff Bil, in the middle of the road.

"None Shall Pass"

He says, looking as menacing as possible.

(OOC:I've always wanted to say that  )


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## Lazlow (Sep 8, 2005)

*Confrontation!!!*

Seeing both the hard-boiled Sheriff with the shiny badge (and the large sword on his hip) and the large warrior behind him in the fearsome wolf-headed helmet (smoke emanating from the nostrils, and a faint red glow deep inside) brings the entire front row of the crowd to an abrupt halt.  The rest of the crowd behind bump and jostle into each other as they stop.  Confused murmurs and frustrated shouts from the back arise but die off quickly as they see what exactly it is that has stopped them.

"Speak up!  What's all this about?"

The people in front wear menacing scowls of confusion and they all begin to speak at once.  Finally one of the larger men further back yells at everyone to shut up - and they do.  Immediately.  He pushes his way through the crowd and stands before the Sheriff, at least a full six inches taller and several more wider (especially 'round the waist).  Sizing up Bill, he scrutinizes the badge with a quizzical look and then peers over his shoulder at the fully-armored warrior behind.  Finally looks the lawman dead in the eyes and speaks.

"Never 'eard o' no...  _Sheriff_...  'Round 'ere," he says in a soft, high whisper that completely belies his brutish exterior.  He straightens up to his full height, folds his arms in front of his chest, glares down the entire length of his crooked nose at the Sheriff and grunts.  The crowd behind him erupts in a sneering, derisive cheer.  Snorts, guffaws, and kneeslaps join hoots of "You tell 'im, Squeaky!", "You've got 'im now, Squeaks!", and "Can't argue wi' that, Squeaky!"  After a moment or two of this the large man calmly raises his hand and the crowd quietens immediately.


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## Gray Shade (Sep 8, 2005)

"Well, I never heard o' you, neither . . . Squeaky."  Berserker Bill says and unbuttons the safety on his scabbard.  "But that don't mean I don't have authority over you.  Now, I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but you're looking at a passle o' my deputies with hungry eyes, and I just got a intuition that you're looking for trouble.  I don't take kindly to that.  We're all here to do a job that will make your lives easier, which I'm sure you and your cohorts there will appreciate.  There's no reason to go stirring up any trouble when these fine representatives of the Duke,"  here he sweeps an arm over at his like-garmented associates, busily debating what to do with the bodies of the men (muggers, really) they just killed.  "Surely your dispute can be settled by you telling me your problem and then me telling you it's settled and you going back about your business.  Or, better yet, since we're in a hurry to save your butts from you-don't-even-know-what, you can just go back about your business immediately." Berserker Bill steps a little closer to Squeaky to intimidate, if not him, then the rest of the crowd.  "Post-haste, before you go from Squeaky to Bleedy."


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## Lazlow (Sep 8, 2005)

"Authority?" Squeaky squeaks at Sheriff Bill.  "_Authority?_  Ain't no one 'round 'ere with _authority_, my fine fellow, 'cept...  Papa Gumbo."  He empasizes the name by jabbing a pudgy finger into the Sheriff's chest.

"Now stand aside, or...  You'll, uh...  Have no side to stand to."  He brings his nose mere millimeters from the Sheriff's face.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 8, 2005)

Desert sees a sail come across the horizion and sits down to watch it billow in the wind.

OOC: I am offline till Monday.  But still use Desert as you see fit.


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## Wystan (Sep 8, 2005)

[sblock]If I see the commotion with the sheriff, and I assume I do, then the following occurs:

I walk towards the sheriff, look at the big fat man in the eyes and state the following:

"I just finished cleaning up the docks of the dregs that decided to accost registered Deputies. I would hate to deprive this fine town of the rest of the riff-raff that need to be cleaned up. I am sure that the majority of the fine folks following you have no qualms with us and seem to be intent on damage for no other reason than the fact that they are following you." 

I turn to face the crowd

"I realize that a lot of you folks must have families and homes that need to be taken care of. Now think how hard that would be with ventilation holes coming out of you. I am a master swordsman and will be more than willing to fillet the lot of you if even one of you tries to be forward in their steps and backward in their thinking. In case you did not notice, my friends and I were more than able to wipe that crowd of sailor trash off the docks and we did so with little loss of blood on our side, and not even breathing heavy."

I then gesture at the outfitted deputies

"As you might also notice, we are armed to the teeth and have arcane magics at our command. Not I know there are a lot of you who are not afraid to die, but are there any of you who migh be afraid to die if you thought that your god would decline you entrance to your chosen paradise? Are you so sure that the arcane magics that we wield would not strip your soul and cause you to fail in the eyes of your god. My god would be more than willing to accept you into the torture plane that he has set up for those that are stupid enough to follow a leader that needs a large lot of otherwise intelligent peoples to do his work. And I quote the book of Argle-Bargle chapter 745 verse 12 'the masses that seek to destroy as the weapon of a fool will be cast into the lake of biting ants for all eternity and shall have their souls denied access to paradise.' Are you willing to test this?"

[/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Sep 8, 2005)

Berserker Bill grabs Squeaky's finger and breaks it.  As he does so, he says, "I am getting so tired of you stupid yokels purposefully getting in my way." If possible, he continues to bend Squeaky's hand and fingers to bring him to his knees.  He continues to talk while doing so, "I'm trying to do a job here that's not going to cause any of you any harm, and is, in fact, going to help out, and every direction I turn someone is in my way.  Can't a guy just go on a freaking quest around here without . . ." he lets go of Squeaky and finishes, " . . . you know . . ."  He puts his hand on his sword.  "Trouble."


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## Lazlow (Sep 8, 2005)

Ranti walks towards the sheriff, looks the big fat man in the eyes and states:

"I just finished cleaning up the docks of the dregs that decided to accost registered Deputies. I would hate to deprive this fine town of the rest of the riff-raff that need to be cleaned up. I am sure that the majority of the fine folks following you have no qualms with us and seem to be intent on damage for no other reason than the fact that they are following you." 

He turns to face the crowd, who, for the most part, stands stock still in utter amazement at the loquacity of this elf.

"I realize that a lot of you folks must have families and homes that need to be taken care of. Now think how hard that would be with ventilation holes coming out of you. I am a master swordsman and will be more than willing to fillet the lot of you if even one of you tries to be forward in their steps and backward in their thinking. In case you did not notice, my friends and I were more than able to wipe that crowd of sailor trash off the docks and we did so with little loss of blood on our side, and not even breathing heavy."

Still holding the crowd at rapt attention, he then gestures at the outfitted deputies.

"As you might also notice, we are armed to the teeth and have arcane magics at our command. Not I know there are a lot of you who are not afraid to die, but are there any of you who migh be afraid to die if you thought that your god would decline you entrance to your chosen paradise? Are you so sure that the arcane magics that we wield would not strip your soul and cause you to fail in the eyes of your god. My god would be more than willing to accept you into the torture plane that he has set up for those that are stupid enough to follow a leader that needs a large lot of otherwise intelligent peoples to do his work. And I quote the book of Argle-Bargle chapter 745 verse 12 'the masses that seek to destroy as the weapon of a fool will be cast into the lake of biting ants for all eter-"

Suddenly his recitation of the holy writ of Argle-Bargle is cut short by a sharp "Bugger off, ya pansy", and, more importantly, a large, mostly rotten vegetable, most likely of the squash family.  It misses Ranti by barely an inch, but the insides spew forth most yuckily, tainting his boots and pants.

In the split second of utter quiet that follows, Berserker Bill grabs Squeaky's finger and breaks it.

"I am getting so tired of you stupid yokels purposefully getting in my way."

He continues to bend Squeaky's hand and fingers, bringing him to his knees.  "I'm trying to do a job here that's not going to cause any of you any harm, and is, in fact, going to help out, and every direction I turn someone is in my way. Can't a guy just go on a freaking quest around here without . . ."  he lets go of Squeaky and finishes, " . . . you know . . ." He puts his hand on his sword. "Trouble."


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## Gray Shade (Sep 8, 2005)

Berserker Bill snaps his head up and looks out into the crowd, trying to find the one who threw the squash.  "Who threw that?  Don't you throw your crap at our elf!  What's wrong with you?"   He clucks his tongue and bats at the crap on Ranti's leg.  Under his breath he mutters, "and they call ME the Barbarian."  Standing back at his fully average height, he gives a mean look at the crowd and shoos at them with is hands.  "Shoo!  Go on.  Get back to your homes.  This is your last warning to disperse this illegal gathering with intent to lynch.  If you persist in your defiance in the face of hitherto passive legal enforcement, you will be battered about the head, neck and kidney with no guarantee of, or thought given to, your survival."


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## LogicsFate (Sep 9, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> "Well," the commoner replies flatly, "we may be apathetic (and none more so than I), but we aren't a town of - of...  What do you call those creepy people...  Death Mages?  Raisers of Undead?  What is that name...  Er..."  He pauses a while, lost in thought.  He looks around, trying to remember that name, and glances back at you.  Suddenly pipes up:  "Ah!  Necromancers.  Yes.  That's it."  He resumes his previous scolding tone.  "We aren't a town of Necromancers, you know."  He turns and walks off, shaking his head.




[sblock]"Probably be better for it, bloody apathetic..."[/sblock] K mumbles

Looking to the elf, K unhappily says *"No, I'll be fine, I'll wrap this up soon"*



> Wench



K's whole body twitches and she looks to the ground talking softly at first, her words swallowed up in Ranti's grandiose speech

*Who called me wench?*
and again
*Who called me wench?*
overlapped by Bill's words
*Who called me wench?*
For all the world to hear
*Who called me wench?*


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## Lazlow (Sep 9, 2005)

As the Sheriff shoos the crowd, it seems that the wind has been taken out of their sails.  _If the Sheriff could take Squeaky down so easily,_ they collectively think, _what else could this group do?_ 

Who called me wench?!

_And that dude in the armor, he's just standing there...  You just *know* he's gonna do something bad@$$, I mean, just...  Just LOOK at him!!_

Who called me wench?!?!?

_Er...  Isn't that the one that took down Dockside Dan...?  Uh oh..._

What is that business about 'hell hath no fury' and all?  Well, evidently the crowd has heard of it, because suddenly and with astoundingly peaceful efficiency, the crowd disperses in an instant.  All, that is, save for one scrawny looking individual who suddenly feels very, very alone.

"Er...  <gulp>  giggity?"


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## LogicsFate (Sep 9, 2005)

Giving out a cry that seems almost, Warrior Princess in nature, and with a look of pure malice in her eyes, K begins to run

[sblock] running jumping tackle! (Stats, actions, those mean nothing to me) followed by chocking of the individual. taking care to bang the gentleman's head against the ground, (for the added effect), maybe even a punch or two(for the variety)[/sblock]


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## Wystan (Sep 9, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill snaps his head up and looks out into the crowd, trying to find the one who threw the squash.  "Who threw that?  Don't you throw your crap at our elf!  What's wrong with you?"   He clucks his tongue and bats at the crap on Ranti's leg.  Under his breath he mutters, "and they call ME the Barbarian."  Standing back at his fully average height, he gives a mean look at the crowd and shoos at them with is hands.  "Shoo!  Go on.  Get back to your homes.  This is your last warning to disperse this illegal gathering with intent to lynch.  If you persist in your defiance in the face of hitherto passive legal enforcement, you will be battered about the head, neck and kidney with no guarantee of, or thought given to, your survival."





I pull down the blindfold and pull my Longsword

"The foul individual that threw rotten vegetables at me during my recitation of the Book of Bander-Snatch needs be taught a lesson. I dare him, her, or their champion to a fight. One on one, mano e mano or mano e womano. I will slay you and use your hair as a very small carpet." 

I turn to where the sheriff should be...

"I need you to police the others, as I start to give the foul miscreant a beating they may feel the need to intercede, and I would hate to have to kill them all. Really, throwing the forbidden item during a recitation of the Book of Tiddley-Winks is a horrid offense. They will surely burn in the firey kiln furnace of Potter, the patron god of poorly written fantasy."

I turn back towards where the crowd was (and most likely no longer is)

"Do none of you dare face me? I hear running away, is that a sign that you aquiesce to my greatness? You are all heathens and may face the firey wrath of Humbitty-Hammbitty the great devourer/prophet of Namby-Pamby, patron god of well-endo...well-meaning Elves everywhere. I fear that if anything like this occurs again we will be forced to torch this burg back to the morass that it sprouted from."

[sblock]Not actually following any diety, Ranti prefers to engineer them as he goes. Sort of like the faen from Arcana Evolved, but with less belief in their existance.[/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Sep 9, 2005)

Berserker Bill lowers a cautious and friendly hand on Ranti's shoulder and says, "Calm yourself, friend.  You have scared them all away.  Let the fires of your fury cool, as cowards and bullies are beneath our contempt, at least when they aren't here."  He gives a final shoo at Quagmire.

"Well," he says brushing the dust from his hands.  "That's that.  Let's get going then." To his old friends he adds, "This is Gruaamsh Skullcleaver, the newest addition to our party.  He's huge and imposing and quite pious."  To Gruaamsh he says, "This is the rest of the party.  They are quite skillfull and righteous.  Ranti (Wystan), the most feared Elven swordsman to fight blindfolded; K (Logicsfate), the beautiful and deadly, and her powerful companion Richard; and finally Desert (Ranger Rick), the . . . that guy."


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## Wystan (Sep 9, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill lowers a cautious and friendly hand on Ranti's shoulder and says, "Calm yourself, friend.  You have scared them all away.  Let the fires of your fury cool, as cowards and bullies are beneath our contempt, at least when they aren't here."  He gives a final shoo at Quagmire.
> 
> "Well," he says brushing the dust from his hands.  "That's that.  Let's get going then." To his old friends he adds, "This is Gruaamsh Skullcleaver, the newest addition to our party.  He's huge and imposing and quite pious."  To Gruaamsh he says, "This is the rest of the party.  They are quite skillfull and righteous.  Ranti (Wystan), the most feared Elven swordsman to fight blindfolded; K (Logicsfate), the beautiful and deadly, and her powerful companion Richard; and finally Desert (Ranger Rick), the . . . that guy."




I raise my blindfold...

"Cowards and miscreants the lot of them. And Hello our fine lage non-color co-ordinated new friend. Now where will I pull a matching nicely co-ordinated outfit for you from? If only we had that guy that liked to read books still I could take his and modify them for you. Mayhaps the seamstress would be willing to do a rush job to keep the co-ordination and look-a-likeness running. I mean it was easy to tell we were together before, but now we are more like a mismatched set of dinnerware that you would not set out before your guests. It molders in the pantry decrying the day that it was damaged. 

I look the new addition up and down....

"I guess we could also try to aquire some paint and color match the very impressive armor that you seem to be wearing. Then the evil folks that we need to smite in the name of Doctir-Seeous will know that we are working together and mean business. Well, I will keep an eye open for other options as well."


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## Lazlow (Sep 9, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> Giving out a cry that seems almost, Warrior Princess in nature, and with a look of pure malice in her eyes, K begins to run...




...And run she does!  Straight at the poor individual whose mob-mates left him stranded to feel this slighted woman's vengeance and fuuuuurious anger.  He quivers, but gives a last ditch effort to charm the girl.

"Aw, come on now baby, I didn't meOOOFFFF"

With no regard for her own person [or stats, tee hee], K makes a flying leap at the lecherous lad, clearing at the very _least_ the last eight feet between them, and tackles him to the ground with a thud, literally knocking him out of his boots.  In an instant, she is a blur of whacking fists and kicking feet (and those boots ain't chopped liver, either).  Grabbing both of his ears, she smashes his head on the ground like a ripe melon.  A quick punch to the jaw and a splash of red spurts onto the ground.  A knee in the groin sends him shooting up to try and recover from the low blow, but that only allows another jab, this time from the left, which you could swear sent his head spinning all the way around on his neck.

Clearly, she did not appreciate the epithet.

Another knee, this time to the stomach, and K stands up to dust herself off, turning and starting to walk away as the pummeled fellow writhes in agony on the ground.  Oh, but what's this?  Oh nooo, a flying elbow to the throat!  Ooooo, that's _gotta_ hurt.  She - she's flipping him over, and - OH NO, not he sleeper hold!  He'll be hard-pressed to get outta that one folks.  Wait, what is- she's leaning back, grabs his foot and brings it up - you'll never believe this, folks, she's pulling his foot up behind him, right next to his ear?  This is some kind of weird pretzel hold, and boy, does it look painful!  Boy o boy, folks, this is one little lady you do NOT want to mess with.  What we've seen here today is one of the most ama- *OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS SHE'S BITTEN ONE OF HIS TOES OFF!!  SHE'S BITTEN IT CLEAN OFF!!!*  Ladies and gentlemen in all my days of fantasy fight commentating have I never seen such a display of ferocity!  And now she's - she's - I can't believe it, she's feeding him his own toe!!  She has taken the removed toe and has shoved it in his mouth, folks, and appears to be trying to force him to swallow it!  Oh, the humanity!


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## Lazlow (Sep 9, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> I raise my blindfold...
> 
> "Cowards and miscreants the lot of them. And Hello our fine lage non-color co-ordinated new friend. Now where will I pull a matching nicely co-ordinated outfit for you from? If only we had that guy that liked to read books still I could take his and modify them for you. Mayhaps the seamstress would be willing to do a rush job to keep the co-ordination and look-a-likeness running. I mean it was easy to tell we were together before, but now we are more like a mismatched set of dinnerware that you would not set out before your guests. It molders in the pantry decrying the day that it was damaged.
> 
> ...




As you conclude, you stand for a moment, examining your new companion.  Suddenly, your keen eye for clothes-fitting tells you that, by an amazing stroke of luck, The Speaker's measurements are almost exactly the same as Gruammsh's, save for a paltry hem here and there that you could easily adjust in a moment's time.

What an incredible co-incidence...

============

OOC:  Dr Z, did I mention that this team has color-coordinated outfits?  No?  I didn't mention the, uh...  The clothes... Situation...?  No?


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## Gray Shade (Sep 9, 2005)

Berserker Bill is apauled.  Shocked.  SHOCKED, I say! at the ferocity of K's attack.

. . . seriously.  He cannot move as she mangles the man, except the occasional twitch as a bone cracks or a gritting of the teeth as the moans of despair reach his ears.  Finally, he has to lower his head and cover his eyes.

(OOC: That's some good fight commentatin', Lou!)


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## LogicsFate (Sep 10, 2005)

K sits for a moment, breathing heavily. Even while delevering an occasional right to the left jaw, she becomes lost in thought...

[sblock] How much blood can one man drink before he becomes sick? Does it matter if it's his own?[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Sep 11, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K sits for a moment, breathing heavily. Even while delevering an occasional right to the left jaw, she becomes lost in thought...
> 
> [sblock] How much blood can one man drink before he becomes sick? Does it matter if it's his own?[/sblock]





A valid question, and one that no doubt deserves further investigation.  But, alas, you remember that you do, indeed, have a job at hand, and upon further reflection you feel that such scientific inquiry is best left to pursue at a later date.

You notice that the man is indubitably and most thoroughly thrashed, well past the point of unconciousness (though he is still breathing - barely).


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## LogicsFate (Sep 11, 2005)

Standing and dusting her self off again, K looks to speak, but first she delivers one last kick to the ribs for good measure. 

*"Alright, what's next?"  * Grinning ear to ear, seemingly oblivious of any looks of shock or awe *"O, yes that's right" * K steps over her...friend? enemy? random guy and continues on to Richard who has been graciously finishing up the grave. Going to step two of hasty grave management Richard and she begins rolling the bodies in the grave


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 12, 2005)

Ignoring the ruckus caused by K and the sheriff, Desert continues to watch a sail billow in the wind.


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## Lazlow (Sep 12, 2005)

The two same fellows who fished Wet Willie out of the drink suddenly appear, stretcher in hand, and load up the black, blue, and bloody lump of flesh and broken bones that K left, taking him off to some undisclosed locale.

The dock seems quite peaceful now.


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## Lazlow (Sep 12, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> Ignoring the ruckus caused by K and the sheriff, Desert continues to watch a sail billow in the wind.




"I like sailboats, too, uh-hyeah," a says a calm voice next to you.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 12, 2005)

Without looking desert says, "The bulbious white contrasts nicely with the blue of the sky and darkness of the sea.".......Turning his head, "wh...who are y...y...you?  I...I...am...desert."


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## DrZombie (Sep 12, 2005)

The half-orc looks from one figure to the next.

_Bloody hell. They're all crazy. Totally mad_ 

"Allright. First of all, unless the colour is blood red I ain't wearing a uniform. You can call me the accent of different colour in the composition of the group, but that's about it. Period.

Second, anyone interested in the bar where the group came from? Someone offered them a hundred gold for our heads. Now I'm a little offended about that. A hundred. Five thousand at least. C'mon. i'm buying drinks."


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## LogicsFate (Sep 13, 2005)

DrZombie said:
			
		

> i'm buying drinks."




K leaves Richard to cover up the dead, giving him express directions on where to look for her after he's done *"All right, I could use anouther drink!"* K looks up to her new compainion


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## Lazlow (Sep 13, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> Without looking desert says, "The bulbious white contrasts nicely with the blue of the sky and darkness of the sea.".......Turning his head, "wh...who are y...y...you?  I...I...am...desert."




"My name's Hughford, Hughford Hugh, but my friends call me Hubba.  You can call me Hubba if you want.  Please to meet you, Desert."  He smiles and holds out his hand.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 13, 2005)

"Nice to...to...to...meet you Hubba." Shakes his hand.


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## Wystan (Sep 13, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> "My name's Hughford, Hughford Hugh, but my friends call me Hubba.  You can call me Hubba if you want.  Please to meet you, Desert."  He smiles and holds out his hand.



"Mr. Hugh, how on this great ball we call a planet did you manage to walk up behind us undetected and unnoticed? Are you a Pirate master of the great sneaky arts? I heard nothing, and after all this ruckus of people trying to kill us I would like to know how I missed you approaching?"

I turn to the new man Mountain of the group whilst pulling out the items made for speaker...

"And you must try this on, it would look dashing and make folks more aware of the fact that you travel with us. I would need to take it in a bit here and let it out a bit there, but at the very least I could have it ready by tonight. Please at least say that you will try. As to the Public House of question, I am not sure that they would serve libations that suit my taste and character, but I would be more that willing to accompany you in determining whom the miscreant that felt that such a low price on our heads was appropriate. I know that my head is worth significantly more than that paltry sum."

I turn away from him and turn towards K.

"My dearest K., Would you be so kind as to assist me in learning a bit of your ways, I assume you are a caster of great reknown, and I would love to learn to mend and clean my outfits with magics. I am sure that one of your caliber would be able to do so. I would also like to reward Richard for the work he does, such as disposing of that trash. Mayhaps I will see about creating him a nice set of comfortable pajamas and an outfit for his downtime leisure."

I turn away again and start to walk towards the bar.


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## Gray Shade (Sep 13, 2005)

Berserker Bill throws his hands in the air.  "Who wants us dead?  Everyone wants us dead.  Who cares?  We need to get after the Chromium Orb."  As the party walks past him, he lowers his head and shakes it, then walks after them.  "Oh, all right.  If you all insist, although I'm going to be more and more angry if this doesn't help us get that Orb.  That dark wizard could be swooping down to collect it any time now."


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 13, 2005)

After the introduction, Desert goes back to watching the sails.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 14, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> "My dearest K., Would you be so kind as to assist me in learning a bit of your ways, I assume you are a caster of great reknown, and I would love to learn to mend and clean my outfits with magics. I am sure that one of your caliber would be able to do so. I would also like to reward Richard for the work he does, such as disposing of that trash. Mayhaps I will see about creating him a nice set of comfortable pajamas and an outfit for his downtime leisure."




*Of course, of course, but you don't need to be a great caster to do those things, hell even a bard could manage that, but for now I'll clean our outfits if I must, as for repairs"*  K sighs heavily *"I'll prepare that spell tomorrow, come to me tonight and I'll clean the blood off your shirt, I'd do it now but... "* K grins *"I have a feeling you're just going to get it bloodied again"*


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

*Another day, another tavern...*

The five of you walk back down the docks towards the Water Weasel.  The morning bustle of the harbor is in full swing now, with ships docking and undocking, cargoes loading and unloading, and sailors, uh...  Sailing and, er, unsailing.  Ahem.  Yes yes, so you arrive on the doorstep of the infamous Water Weasel, a right ghastly place compared to the welcoming arms of The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern.  The door, if it could be called as such, is actually only a few planks of worn and worm-ridden wood suspended from the top of the archway by a few coils of dirty rope.  They swing aside, and you make your way to the main room - which, strangely enough, is very nearly empty.  Well, it _would_ be strange if you were a local and knew that this place was where all the non-working drunkards congregated to greet the morning.  Or afternoon, or evening, as it were.  Suffice to say it would usually be at least half full.  But right now, it's empty, save for the bartender and a lone customer, a lean and hungry gentleman leaning against the bar, shot glass in his hand and a long length of cold steel on his hip.  

"Well," the imbiber intones, "you lot are either eager to perish, or you're all madder than a bilgerat in wedding flowers."  He finally turns around and faces you, propping an elbow on the bar and a foot on a nearby stool.  "He's not here.  Probably in his villa.  But don't worry, he'll find you soon enough."  He takes a long, slow sip from his shot glass, draining it.

It is at this point that you realize that there are actually six of you in your party, not just five.


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> After the introduction, Desert goes back to watching the sails.




"Hey, Desert, you ever been on a boat?" Hubba asks, taking a seat next to his newfound friend.  "I love boats.  My pappy and me, we've always had boats.  He's a boater.  Boats people all up and down the Greenwater, and all over the lake.  He's had all kinds of boats.  Sailboats...  Paddleboats...  Rowboats...  Skiffboats...  John boats...  Tug boats...  Canoe boats...  Horse boats...  Barge boats..."


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## Gray Shade (Sep 14, 2005)

Berserker Bill steps forward and then turns to the party.  "See?  Like drunky up at the bar said, he'll find us.  Let's not spend all our time trying to find him.  Not when we could be on the road after the Orb.  C'mon, we need to head north."


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 14, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> "Hey, Desert, you ever been on a boat?" Hubba asks, taking a seat next to his newfound friend.  "I love boats.  My pappy and me, we've always had boats.  He's a boater.  Boats people all up and down the Greenwater, and all over the lake.  He's had all kinds of boats.  Sailboats...  Paddleboats...  Rowboats...  Skiffboats...  John boats...  Tug boats...  Canoe boats...  Horse boats...  Barge boats..."





"N...No.  I have n...n...have n...n...n...n...have n...n...n...n...n...n...n...have not been on one. I have s...s...s...s...seen them on land.  Are they safe?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill steps forward and then turns to the party.  "See?  Like drunky up at the bar said, he'll find us.  Let's not spend all our time trying to find him.  Not when we could be on the road after the Orb.  C'mon, we need to head north."




"Heh.  You got some mouth on ye there...  _Sheriff._"  The lean stranger tosses back another shot that's appeared next to him.  "You might oughta watch that.  Could getcha in...  _Trouble._"  He cocks his tri-cornered hat back and the feather in it wiggles for a curiously long period of time afterward.  He puts his hand on his sword casually and leans even more onto the bar.

"Yep...  _Trouble._"


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## Gray Shade (Sep 14, 2005)

Berserker Bill turns to the drunk and pulls out his sword.  He approaches the man and says, "I wasn't talkin' to you so why don't you just shut yer yap before I cut it off your face."

(OOC: If he starts to speak again, Berserker Bill will Power Attack for 3 with his sword in both hands)


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> "N...No.  I have n...n...have n...n...n...n...have n...n...n...n...n...n...n...have not been on one. I have s...s...s...s...seen them on land.  Are they safe?"




"Oh, yeah, safe as clams," Hubba answers.  "Do you like clams?  I like clams.  Pappy and me go clamdiggin' all the time after we go around in our boats."


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill turns to the drunk and pulls out his sword.  He approaches the man and says, "I wasn't talkin' to you so why don't you just shut yer yap before I cut it off your face."
> 
> (OOC: If he starts to speak again, Berserker Bill will Power Attack for 3 with his sword in both hands)




OOC:  Holy crap, man

=============

"Temper temper, now," the stranger says, tossing back another shot.  Dang man, did you even see him reach back for another glass?  I didn't.  What the heck?  Er, anyway, as he does so you notice a glint of shiny metal gleaming from between the folds of his shirt.  Looks like there's some engraving on it of some sort.

But, no matter, your Barbarian temper gets the best of you and your sword flashes in a vicious arc aimed straight for the stranger's "yap", as you put it.  A deft sidestep from the stranger eludes any damage, however, and suddenly his hand moves quickly to his side.

"Careful now, Sheriff," he says stretching his hand out to you.  "Here, you need one."

Looking down, you see in his hand yet another shotglass, full of amber liquid.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 14, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> "Oh, yeah, safe as clams," Hubba answers.  "Do you like clams?  I like clams.  Pappy and me go clamdiggin' all the time after we go around in our boats."





"I...I...I like shrimp.  Clams can get s...s...s...s...sandy."

OOC: not sure if I am in the bar or not, either way I ignore the sheriff & the drunk.


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## Gray Shade (Sep 14, 2005)

Berserker Bill leans suddenly on his left elbow on the bar, sword dangling from that hand.  "Oh, really?  How kind of you."  He takes the shot and with a nod of "Salu" he drinks it.  "Goes down good so early.  Been a rough day already, you know?  So what's your deal?  You just stand here picking fights with frustrated lawmen all day or what?"  When the man appears to have another drink in his hand (as I expect he will), Bill waves it off as soon as he sees it, and turns to the bartender.  "No, no.  It's good.  This one's on me.  Appears we're waiting anyway."  He turns to the rest of the party.  "Drink, anyone?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

Ranger Rick said:
			
		

> "I...I...I like shrimp.  Clams can get s...s...s...s...sandy."
> 
> OOC: not sure if I am in the bar or not, either way I ignore the sheriff & the drunk.




Hubba looks at Desert and grimaces.  "Eeeaaayyuuuuchhhh...  I hate shrimp."  He then gets up and walks away, toward the Water Weasel.

========

OOC:  You're still outside, watching the sails...


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> ...Bill waves [the drink] off as soon as he sees it, and turns to the bartender.  "No, no.  It's good.  This one's on me."




"Them's fightin' words, ya bastich," the drinking stranger says and in a flash he's up on his feet, sword in hand, circling Bill like a hawk, making pokey-pokey motions with his sword towards him.


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## Gray Shade (Sep 14, 2005)

Bill orders another round.  "Come now, friend.  There is no need for swordplay.  You should calm yourself . . ."  He gives a look at Ranti and raises his voice a little, "Or there could be BLOODSHED." Returning his eyes to the man, he holds a shot out toward him and says, "Come now.  Drink."  If he doesn't drink, then Berserker Bill will have the drink, then say, "Have you ever fought a blind-folded Elf?  It's like trying to fight a whole pack of rabid, sexually-aroused badgers.  First thing he'll do is go for your eyes.  Pop 'em right out."


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Bill orders another round.  "Come now, friend.  There is no need for swordplay.  You should calm yourself . . ."  He gives a look at Ranti and raises his voice a little, "Or there could be BLOODSHED."




The man continues to circle, and continues to make pokey-pokey motions with his sword, shouting, "Have at thee!" and "Ha ha!" and "En garde, knave!".  After a couple of these, you notice that his sword seems to wiggle much in the same way that the feather in his hat did.



> Returning his eyes to the man, he holds a shot out toward him and says, "Come now.  Drink."  If he doesn't drink, then Berserker Bill will have the drink, then say, "Have you ever fought a blind-folded Elf?  It's like trying to fight a whole pack of rabid, sexually-aroused badgers.  First thing he'll do is go for your eyes.  Pop 'em right out."




While he still pokey-pokeys at you, he seems to do so with less vigor, and shoots worried glances over at the rest of your companions, whom, it seems, he just noticed for the first time.  A couple of pokey-pokes and half-hearted Ha-Heh's later, he stops, shrugs his shoulders, and shoves his sword back into its scabbard.  Strangely, it doesn't make the sound you'd think it would.

"Come on now, Roger," the barkeep says with a roll of his eyes.  "Stop scaring the customers.  As you can see, I need the business."  The barkeep motions for the rest of the group to belly up to the bar, and as the strange stranger returns to his spot, the bartender shoos him away.  The man seems to be used to this, however, and just sulks off into a corner.

"So, uh...  Headin' up north, are ye?" the barkeep tries to say to no one in particular but quite obviously directs it to whomever happens to meet his eye.  "Lookin' for a, uh...  Lookin' for an _orb_, eh?  Eh?"


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## Gray Shade (Sep 14, 2005)

Berserker Bill turns to the bartender.  "Lookin' for Al the Wizard up north.  Know him?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 14, 2005)

"Well, I know _of_ him, same as anyone 'round here, I guess," the barkeep says.  "Doesn't show himself much.  Just take the north road outta town, you'll see his tower presently.  Now, what's everyone having?  I got grog, and grog lite."


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## Gray Shade (Sep 14, 2005)

Berserker Bill tips the bartender well (um, 10 gold) and thanks him.  Then, ignoring his question, he turns to the party.  "Okay.  Good job, gang!  I think we've got whatever problems we had in this town settled.  Now, if we leave straightaway we can reach the tower 'presently.'  Everyone ready?"  Unless he's stopped, Berserker Bill then stands and leaves and heads out of town going north.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 15, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> It is at this point that you realize that there are actually six of you in your party, not just five.




_Six_ the number rolls through K's head looking for something to connect to, she looks around _six, six, Me, Bill, Rhanti, Big guy...four, no six, could I be counting Richard, isn't he outside, maybe desert, isn't he outside too, hmm six..._


K watches the proceding with little interest, waiting on her drink, and then waiting some more, till Bill goes to leave, *"Hold on there Gru,glu,glrum,um the big guys buying us drinks"*


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## DrZombie (Sep 15, 2005)

_Madder than Mad Madmartigan "the mad" Madman from Madville town in Crazyland_ 
The half-orc looks in astonishment at the scene before him.
However, at the notion of drinks he perks up.

"I'll have six, er, no seven grogs, please, bartender."

He patiently waits for the drinks to be poured, then looks up.

"Oh, euhm, sorry, give the rest something to drink as well, please."


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## LogicsFate (Sep 15, 2005)

DrZombie said:
			
		

> _Madder than Mad Madmartigan "the mad" Madman from Madville town in Crazyland_
> The half-orc looks in astonishment at the scene before him.
> However, at the notion of drinks he perks up.
> 
> ...




K grabs a chair and pulls in beside her skeptical friend, *"Ya know, big guy, I always new their was a reason I liked you" *  she puts her feet up on something


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## DrZombie (Sep 15, 2005)

Gruaamsh looks at the bartender. Leaning over, he asks:
"What's with shineypants over there?" thumbing towards the drinking, plume- and swordwiggling stranger.

He cheerfully salutes the barbarian wench, and downs a few grogs, in rapid succession.


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## Lazlow (Sep 15, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill tips the bartender well (um, 10 gold) and thanks him.  Then, ignoring his question, he turns to the party.  "Okay.  Good job, gang!  I think we've got whatever problems we had in this town settled.  Now, if we leave straightaway we can reach the tower 'presently.'  Everyone ready?"  Unless he's stopped, Berserker Bill then stands and leaves and heads out of town going north.




The bartender is quite pleasantly surprised, seeing as how he rarely gets a tip at all, considering his usual clientele.

It seems the rest of the 'gang' needs one (or six) for the road before heading out...


----------



## Lazlow (Sep 15, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> _Six_ the number rolls through K's head looking for something to connect to, she looks around _six, six, Me, Bill, Rhanti, Big guy...four, no six, could I be counting Richard, isn't he outside, maybe desert, isn't he outside too, hmm six..._




Yes indeed - you realize that Desert is still outside, watching boats.



> K watches the proceding with little interest, waiting on her drink, and then waiting some more, till Bill goes to leave, *"Hold on there Gru,glu,glrum,um the big guys buying us drinks"*




The bartender perks up at the word "buying".


----------



## Lazlow (Sep 15, 2005)

DrZombie said:
			
		

> _Madder than Mad Madmartigan "the mad" Madman from Madville town in Crazyland_
> The half-orc looks in astonishment at the scene before him.
> However, at the notion of drinks he perks up.
> 
> ...




"Yessir, right away, sir!" the bartender says, quickly pouring a half-dozen and one smallish cups full of a foul-looking and even fouler-smelling fluid.


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## Lazlow (Sep 15, 2005)

DrZombie said:
			
		

> Gruaamsh looks at the bartender. Leaning over, he asks:
> "What's with shineypants over there?" thumbing towards the drinking, plume- and swordwiggling stranger.




"Oh, him?  Eh, he's harmless.  Wants to be a lawman, he does, but his father won't let him have a real sword.  So instead he uses a tree branch that he's stripped and painted all silvery-like."



> He cheerfully salutes the barbarian wench, and downs a few grogs, in rapid succession.


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 15, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> Yes indeed - you realize that Desert is still outside, watching boats.
> ...




Desert pays the stranger no mind and keeps watching the boats.  Talking to himself, "I like shrimp, shrimp are not yech."


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## Wystan (Sep 15, 2005)

I stop staring into space and pull down my blindfold and draw my sword at the words: 


			
				Sheriff Bill said:
			
		

> "Have you ever fought a blind-folded Elf? It's like trying to fight a whole pack of rabid, sexually-aroused badgers. First thing he'll do is go for your eyes. Pop 'em right out."



Failing to hear any other weapons being drawn and not hearing any fisticuffs either I wait a few minutes and pull up my blindfold.

"Drinks, yes drinks would be good. As the great prophet Ima Gunagetdrunk postulated, 'An elf cannot survive if the lord of drink does not allow him to eat a rabid treacle bush at least once a season'. However he was blind drunk at the time of that quote. I will however try the grog-lite my good sir and please put it on the tab of the non-color coordinated member of our troop."

I smile at Gruaamsh...

"So, you do not want to wear the official uniform of the Sheriff and Deputies of the...the...righteous badge? We look smashing and cause fear in the hearts of all those that come into contact with us."

I await my grog-lite.


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## Gray Shade (Sep 15, 2005)

Berserker Bill (already having had a few shots to start his day) says, "Drinks.  Right. Well, when you're ready, I'll be outside going over the plan with Desert.  Or at least watching the sailboats with him."

He then goes outside and looks around for a chair, gives up after only half a glance, removes the bucket hanging from his pack, flips it over and sits down on it next to Desert.  He scratches his nose for a second, picks it, then looks up at Desert.  "What's happenin' Desert?"


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 15, 2005)

With out looking Desert spouts "THIS AFTERNOON...WINDS BECOMING EAST AROUND 5 KNOTS. SEAS 2 FEET OR LESS. TIDAL RIVER WATERS SMOOTH. TONIGHT...SOUTHWEST WINDS 5 TO 10 KNOTS. SEAS 2 FEET OR LESS. TIDAL RIVER WATERS A LIGHT CHOP. .Tomorrow...WEST WINDS 5 KNOTS BECOMING SOUTHEAST AROUND 5 KNOTS IN THE AFTERNOON. SEAS 2 FEET OR LESS. TIDAL RIVER WATERS SMOOTH. SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS.  Mosquito Activity Forecast is for limited infestation, Current Moon Phase is Waxing Gibbous and sunrise tomorrow is 6:41.......H..h...how are you sheriff Bill?"


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## Gray Shade (Sep 15, 2005)

"Much better now that I know all that, Desert.  Thanks.  I feel very well-informed on the happenings.  What happened to your buddy?"


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 15, 2005)

"Much better now that I know all that, Desert.  Thanks.  I feel very well-informed on the happenings.  What happened to your buddy?"[/QUOTE]


"Buddy?...Oh the guy nex...nex...next to me.....he left."


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## Lazlow (Sep 15, 2005)

"One grog lite, comin' up," the bartender says, pouring a slightly less foul-looking/smelling liquid in a cup.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 16, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> "One grog lite, comin' up," the bartender says, pouring a slightly less foul-looking/smelling liquid in a cup.




*"Get me on too"* K pauses in preperation for her drink *"So, who's going to tell, Sherif Bill, that we decided to live a life on the seas as buckeneers?"


"Not it!"*


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## Lazlow (Sep 16, 2005)

The bartender pours one for the lady.


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## Wystan (Sep 16, 2005)

I look at the grog-lite and decide to become a tee-totaler. I pass it to K.

"My dear lady, this drink would not agree with my constitution. Would you like this one? Also I think that we are indebted to Mr....Sheriff Bill, and we by needs must undertake the mission that he has outlined for us. Now I say we try to make it as fast as possible. First we will need 25 chickens...and a goat. Then we need to get Gruuumsh 4-5 10' poles. A large pot is also in order as is about 4 gallons of this turpentine that they call grog. The chickens are for finding traps, the goat is for finding pit traps that the chickens are too light to set off. The grog is for eating away at the locks on doors and the 10'poles are for the construction of a litter for fallen comrades. Then K. you and I can return here, steal a boat, and take a life on the high seas. You be the captain, and I will be the boy toy that stays in the cabin all day and eases the captains pains at night. Does this sound reasonable?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 16, 2005)

OOC:  First, Wystan, thank you for refreshing our memory , and second:  What?


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## LogicsFate (Sep 16, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> I look at the grog-lite and decide to become a tee-totaler. I pass it to K.
> 
> Does this sound reasonable?"




K drinks her own grog in one long pull than repeats it with Ranti's. She gazes remorsefully at the empty mugs.

K shrugs, *"Eh, we'll work out the details later*wink*. 

Hmm, As you insist on harping on this Bill thing, I guess I have nothing better to do.
Good ideas, though we could probly find something better at setting of traps the farm animals. 

I wouldn't guess this (string of explitives deleted)hole of a town would have a mgic shop, would it?*


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## Wystan (Sep 16, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K drinks her own grog in one long pull than repeats it with Ranti's. She gazes remorsefully at the empty mugs.
> 
> K shrugs, *"Eh, we'll work out the details later*wink*.
> 
> ...




With a grin....
"We could always hire bartenders and town miscreants..."


----------



## LogicsFate (Sep 16, 2005)

K returns the grin *"Something like that..."*


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## Lazlow (Sep 16, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K shrugs, *I wouldn't guess this (string of explitives deleted)hole of a town would have a mgic shop, would it?*





The Bartender pipes up.  "Of course we do.  Kolat's Emporium, just up the road, right next to the Jam Dabbler."


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## DrZombie (Sep 17, 2005)

"Like I said before, this is what I wear. No fancy colours, no uniforms, no painting my armor. And that is not negotiable."

He lowers his voice :
"And that way people won't suspect I'm with you guys, so that may work in our advantage."

_Yeah, with any luck people will look at y'all and think anyone not dressed up as a peacock wouldn't willingly join these lunatics._


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## LogicsFate (Sep 17, 2005)

*"Are you sure, Gr*cough*" * k says looking down at her outfit  *"It's really quite nice"* a dark Blue and Black for the legs area with a crimson red and black torso area. The cloak should be a dark black and purple. 

*"Alright, thats beside the point, I'm heading to that one place mention, that's by the Jam guy, don't make any plans while I'm gone"* K leaves whistling for Richard where ever he might be...


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## Gray Shade (Sep 17, 2005)

When K comes out of the bar and heads off, Berserker Bill says,"Hi K!  Bye K!  I'll just be sitting out here watching the ships roll in and then watching them roll away again.  Let me know when y'all are ready to go."


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## LogicsFate (Sep 18, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> When K comes out of the bar and heads off, Berserker Bill says,"Hi K!  Bye K!  I'll just be sitting out here watching the ships roll in and then watching them roll away again.  Let me know when y'all are ready to go."




*"Allright, I just need to run a quick errand and then we'll talk"*


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## Ranger Rick (Sep 19, 2005)

[whistles a mindless ditty]


----------



## Wystan (Sep 19, 2005)

(I join Ranger Rick in whistling)


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## Lazlow (Sep 20, 2005)

Suddenly struck by the outbreak of whistling, the bartender shrugs and joins in.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 20, 2005)

K's whistles for Richards comes in tune with the others, as she head to the magic shop, apon reaching the entrace she walks in the door, says loudly* "Who runs this shop?!"*


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## Gray Shade (Sep 20, 2005)

Berserker Bill considers breaking into song at all the whistling.  He stands opens his mouth in a wide "O" and spreads his arms wide.  Then thinks better of it and sits back down.


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## Lazlow (Sep 20, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K's whistles for Richards comes in tune with the others, as she head to the magic shop, apon reaching the entrace she walks in the door, says loudly* "Who runs this shop?!"*




A tall man in a tall cylindrical hat (more on this later) sits behind the counter in the shop reading a scroll.  He is clean shaven, save for two thin strips of beard on either edge of his beard, which have grown so long that he has entwined them together into a single braid about three inches under his chin.  Dangling from that braid is a crystal, faintly shining a pinkish hue.  He is dressed in a simple red robe with his sleeves rolled up to just under his elbows.  On his nose is perched a peculiar instrument, it seems to be two circlets of crystal joined together with some golden framework; two other circlets of crystal are joined by more framework but are flipped up above his eyes and out to the side.

He doesn't seem to notice you...  But after a moment of awkward silence, he glances up and looks you in the eye.  He waits _juuuust_ until you are about to speak, then replies, in the same manner in which you spoke (that is, loudly), "I DO!!" 

And now, his hat:  It either is very, very tall, or is connected to the ceiling in some manner - but you can't quite tell, because the condensation, dampness, dew, effluvia, exhalation, fog, fumes, gas, haze, miasma, moisture, smog, smoke, steam, and various vapors from the immense array of alembics, beakers, bins, bowls, bottles, boxes, buckets, cans, canisters, canteens, capsules, carafes, cartons, casks, caskets, cauldrons, chests, cisterns, crates, crocks, dishes, ewers, firkins, flasks, hampers, hods, hoppers, humidors, hutches, jars, jeroboams, jugs, kettles, magnums, packages, packets, pails, pots, pouches, purses, receptacles, reliquaries, repositories, sacs, sacks, scuttles, steins, tanks, tubs, tubes, utensils, vases, vats, vessels, and (last, but definitely not least) vials seems to block any view above seven or eight feet up.

Also, an owlbear is standing next to you.  It's very tall.


----------



## Lazlow (Sep 21, 2005)

OOC:  Hurricane Rita is bearing down on us wit' a quickness as I speak (type), and no matter where the storm hits up or down the coast, I will without a doubt be sans electricity for a few days, so don't count on anything from me during that time.  My workplace is closing down for Thursday and Friday, so I'll be home battening down the hatches in preparation.  I'll post as soon as I can after the storm.


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## LogicsFate (Sep 29, 2005)

K laughs nerviously, enterposing Richard between herself and the owlbear, _Stuffed?_ she hopes fervently. 

*"Um, hi, yeah, I'm looking for a scroll"*  K moves closer slowly, leaning in close *"Yeah a scroll of..." * her voice dropping even lower [sblock] *"animate dead" * [/sblock] She braces, ready to stop him from repeating it out loud *"Just that"*


----------



## Ranger Rick (Sep 29, 2005)

Continues to [whistles a mindless ditty]


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## Lazlow (Sep 30, 2005)

*K and The Magicke Shoppe Man*



			
				LogicsFate said:
			
		

> K laughs nerviously, enterposing Richard between herself and the owlbear, _Stuffed?_ she hopes fervently.




Your fervent hopes are dashed as the man behind the counter eyes you for a moment, then looks to the owlbear.  "It's alright," he says, and the owlbear relaxes a bit, then takes a step or two back.

"With what can I help you...  Madam?"



> *"Um, hi, yeah, I'm looking for a scroll"*  K moves closer slowly, leaning in close *"Yeah a scroll of..." * her voice dropping even lower [sblock] *"animate dead" * [/sblock] She braces, ready to stop him from repeating it out loud *"Just that"*




The man eyes you with an even keener eye.  "Ah, necromancy...  Revolting, to be sure, but quite...  Useful... at times."  He gives you a quick wink, then stands up and disappears into the thick mist behind him.  

He's gone quite a while, during which time the owlbear seems to just be content standing in a corner, looking at you.  Eyeing it nervously, there seems to be something strange about the creature...  But just as you realize that it doesn't appear to blink - at all - it lets out a long, weary yawn.  It smacks its beak, scratches its hindquarters, and resumes staring at you.

The man returns soon thereafter with a scroll in his hand.  "Here we are, just as you requested.  The scroll is 1200 gold.  Have you the necessary amount of onyx required?"


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## Lazlow (Sep 30, 2005)

*An elf possessed!*

Suddenly Ranti stands up, as if some unseen force had gripped him, and yells, "Hey!  What's all this waiting and whistling?  Let's get this show on the road!"

He stands there, shaking his head, a bit confused.

==========

OOC:  heh heh heh


----------



## LogicsFate (Oct 1, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> Your fervent hopes are dashed as the man behind the counter eyes you for a moment, then looks to the owlbear.  "It's alright," he says, and the owlbear relaxes a bit, then takes a step or two back.
> 
> "With what can I help you...  Madam?"
> 
> ...




K sputters in outrage "1200! That's madness, I assume you already added plently of onix to it!"


----------



## Lazlow (Oct 1, 2005)

"Madam," the magic merchant says to you coolly, "I'll have you know that my offer is a mere pittance above my own cost.  And no, the onyx is not included.  I am a purveyor of sorcerous sundries, arcane accoutrements, magical momentos...  All of the most exceptional quality.  Surely you understand that these things do not come cheaply."  He leans back and smiles.  "Now.  Are you still interested?  Or shall I ask Toby here to escort you on your way?"  He nods his head slightly in the direction of the owlbear, then crosses his arms.


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## LogicsFate (Oct 3, 2005)

*"Surely you won't let 900 gold walk out this door right now? Would you?"  * K clasps her hands togeather, her eyes watering, She gazes at the man with unending sadness *"Please..."  *


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## Lazlow (Oct 3, 2005)

LogicsFate said:
			
		

> *"Surely you won't let 900 gold walk out this door right now? Would you?"  * K clasps her hands togeather, her eyes watering, She gazes at the man with unending sadness *"Please..."  *




"Young lady," he replies, "I am not completely without sympathy."  He smiles at you warmly, opening his arms in a gesture of sincerity.  "However...  Toby is.  And I would be remiss to forego the advice of my...  Business partner, and to let this particular piece of merchandise go for so low below my own cost.  So.  If there isn't anything else...?"  He smiles and gestures to Toby, who sidles up to you and places a large feathery talon on your shoulder - quite a bit gentler than you would expect, too.


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## Ranger Rick (Oct 3, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> Suddenly Ranti stands up, as if some unseen force had gripped him, and yells, "Hey!  What's all this waiting and whistling?  Let's get this show on the road!"
> 
> He stands there, shaking his head, a bit confused.
> 
> ...





"Show...show...show...where?"


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## Gray Shade (Oct 4, 2005)

Berserker Bill jumps to his feet and looks at Desert.  "To the north of course!" he says with a dramatic pointing at the northern sky.  "Here we go!  Everyone should be sufficiently drunk to be lawmen by now."

He sticks his head in the doorway of the bar and says loudly, "Let's go, folks!  Get 'em in leather mugs for the road.  Are we adventurers or barflies?  I'm gonna walk on the road north out of town.  Catch up when you want some excitement."  He pulls his head out, but quickly sticks it back in and says to the bartender, "Oh.  And tell that guy with the gazebo that we'll be back in a few days, and he can find us (no offense) at the Old Bald."

Outside, he then looks the direction Kay went.  When he sees her, he says, "Kay!  Let's get these coconuts clompin' if you know what I mean."  With a wave of "come on" to Desert, he starts walking north out of town.


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## Lazlow (Oct 4, 2005)

Ranti springs forth and prances merrily beside the Sheriff.  "I daresay I could certainly use a change of scenery.  Too many browns and greys here."


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## Ranger Rick (Oct 5, 2005)

Hearing Mr. Sheriff Berserker Bill call and seeing his arm motion, Desert starts to plod North in the same direction as everyone else.


----------



## Lazlow (Oct 5, 2005)

OOC:  Okay, that's 3 of 5...


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## DrZombie (Oct 5, 2005)

With a grumble, the Half-Orc empties his last grog and, steady as if he's been drinking water, walks out of the bar.
"What's to see north of here?" he asks curiously.


----------



## Gray Shade (Oct 5, 2005)

"One of two things," Berserker Bill answers as they walk through town.  "A wizard named Al who will hopefully tell us where to find Sir Dudley OR a good lead on the Chromium Orb of Frobozz."  At the gate on the road north out of town, the Sherriff will give the guards a congenial wave and say, "Mornin' boys."

Outside the gates he'll walk at a good clip.  Every half mile or so, he'll stop and look for any signs of goblins _(using Track)_.


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## LogicsFate (Oct 6, 2005)

K flinches at the touch of the beast but allows herself to be taken outside, turning around to look at the shop keeper *"I'll be back"* Moving outside she'll retrive a pen and parchment and jot dot a few words. Finding anyone she can from the party, *"Sorry about the unexpected delay, it was... unexpected, but we can go fight bees now or whatever"*


OOC: Sorry about the unexpected delay, it was... unexpected


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## Ranger Rick (Oct 6, 2005)

At Bills 1st stop, Desert will keep on plodding.

OOC: I will be offline until Tuesday.  Please use my PC as if it where you own.


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## Lazlow (Oct 8, 2005)

It feels good to get out and about this morning - that is to say, the air seems a little less oppressive, the sky a little less overcast, than in the town proper.  You all make your way north, following the road, and pass a scant few parties on the way, mainly farmers taking their day's produce into town to market.  The road follows closely along the banks of the Greenwash, and the odd barge or ferry floats past every once in a while.

As you make your way further north, the farmers' fields start to thin out, making way for more trees and a hillock or two.  Soon a large structure pokes up on the horizon, rising up higher and straighter than any of the trees surrounding it.  The sun hangs moodily in the sky, as if it realizes it still has another 8 or 9 hours until it can disappear again.

Soon a smaller ribbon of road branches off from the main one you've been following, and seems to lead more in the direction of the tower structure.  A sign off to the side of this smaller road reads:

PRIVATE ROAD
TRESPASSERS WILL BE DEALT WITH...  ACCORDINGLY.​


----------



## Gray Shade (Oct 8, 2005)

"Ah, yes," Berserker Bill says without breaking pace or giving any pause.  "This is the place!"  He confidently walks down the path toward the tower, seeming to expect the rest of the party to follow.


----------



## LogicsFate (Oct 9, 2005)

K follows along, paying little attention to dire warnings *"How long till we get there?"*


----------



## Lazlow (Oct 10, 2005)

The side road leads off into a slightly more wooded area, and after a few more minutes of walking, the main road is soon out of view.  The shadows have started to shorten a bit with the rising sun, but the overcast pall makes them no less oppressive.  Along the path a curious collection of statuary lines the way; even a quick glance from an eye untrained in the art of sculpture can appreciate the vivid likenesses, the subjects of which spanned a strange spectrum of common townsfolk, wealthy merchants, savage creatures, and indescribable aberrations.

Presently a bend in the road leads out of the woods and into a fair-sized clearing, in the center of which sits a single squarish structure.  Small windows at least fifteen feet up peer out over the tops of the shorter trees, and above those, a single tower rises up at least another fifty feet (you recognize this as the structure you saw earlier on the road).  It has no windows, but a gap in the wall running the perimeter of the top of the tower seems to be an inner balcony of sorts, from which can be seen a slight greenish glow.

The path narrows a bit and leads right up to a large set of double wooden doors bound with iron, which sits impressively in the center of the stone wall facing you.  Perched above the door, set in a small niche, sits a single grotesque head, its bulging eyes peering down a hooked, misshapen nose.


----------



## Wystan (Oct 10, 2005)

> Presently a bend in the road leads out of the woods and into a fair-sized clearing, in the center of which sits a single squarish structure. Small windows at least fifteen feet up peer out over the tops of the shorter trees, and above those, a single tower rises up at least another fifty feet (you recognize this as the structure you saw earlier on the road). It has no windows, but a gap in the wall running the perimeter of the top of the tower seems to be an inner balcony of sorts, from which can be seen a slight greenish glow.
> 
> The path narrows a bit and leads right up to a large set of double wooden doors bound with iron, which sits impressively in the center of the stone wall facing you. Perched above the door, set in a small niche, sits a single grotesque head, its bulging eyes peering down a hooked, misshapen nose.




"Ewww, now this is surely a place that can use an interior and exterior decorator. I mean, look at the hideous gargoyle there. I think we need to march right up there and knock on those doors and ask the denizens how they can deign to live in an abode that hurts the sensibilities so badly. I cannot see how anyone with such a poor outlook on design and aesthetics can pretend to be able to assist others. No windows on the main tower; must be very gloomy inside as well. I think that ‘Hrglebrgle the drowned god said it best when he said ‘jklk saduify kjyfwf…glub glub glub’”

I look at Mr. Sergeant berserker Bill and smile

”After you sir.”


----------



## LogicsFate (Oct 11, 2005)

K finds herself stopping at an aberration _childhood nightmare? insanity personified? Ranti on an off day?_  Speaking to Bill *"Why are we here again? What could possible be this important?"*


----------



## Gray Shade (Oct 11, 2005)

Berserker Bill can't help but grin widely at Ranti's 'Drowned God' quote.

"We seek Sir Dudley, whose help we need to get the Orb of Frobozz.  However, since he has mysteriously disappeared, we have come here, to the abode of his supposed friend, Al the Wizard.  If he, indeed, is Sir Dudley's ally, then surely he will be able to tell us how to reach the knight, or what his fate was."  He then steps forward and bangs loudly on the door with his huge fist.  "Al the Wizard!" he calls.  "We seek thy guidance."


----------



## Lazlow (Oct 11, 2005)

"I'm not deaf, ya great lout," a stern, annoyed voice says.  It seems to be coming from above the doorway.

"First of all, Dudley is not an 'ally', as you say.  I know him - too well, actually - but an ally he most certianly is not.  As for his whereabouts, well, heh heh heh..." the voice trailed off into a chuckle.  "That - well, that would be telling.  Heh.  Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm up here," it says rather perturbedly, "above the door."


----------



## Gray Shade (Oct 12, 2005)

Berserker Bill looks above the doorway, but doesn't let his gaze rest on anything in particular and ends up just looking out into the sky above the tower.  "Hmm . . . ah.  Oh, great sky spirit, Al, we beseech thy service.  Where is Sir Dudley, that we may contact him?  Uh . . . we bring the sacrifice ordained and foretold in legend!"  He then starts rummaging through his bag for something to offer the wizard, muttering curses.  He withdraws a portable ram and holds it while thinking for a moment before putting it back with a shake of the head.  Finally, he says, "AH-ha!" and pulls the feather from his own hat.  "We offer the ancient magical feather of shapechanging--as is foretold.  Now," he is now looking all over in the sky, not just above the doorway or even the tower, "where is the one we seek?"  He then ceremoniously puts the feather, with both hands, down in the doorway to the tower.

_OOC: The feather is his Quall's Feather Token: Anchor . . . VERY USEFUL!  C'mon, I know he wants it!   _


----------



## Lazlow (Oct 12, 2005)

The voice mutters to itself:  "Great googly moogly...  <unh>  Why do I always get the morons... <OOF>"

Presently, the door opens.  Standing there is a man dressed in an expensive-looking purple robe with silver trim, the sleeves pushed up past his elbows.  He wears expensive-looking leather slippers with pointy silver tips and silver buckles.  He would, in all respects, not be all that remarkable, except for the fact that his head looks exactly like the grotesque that sat above the doorway.  Indeed, upon further inspection, the niche above the doorway is no longer occupied.

The gargoyle-headed man stands there for a second, then looks down and sees the feather on the stoop.  He picks it up, shrugs, and pockets it.

"What is it you want, now?  Looking for the Orb of Frobozz, eh?  Good luck with aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall THAT, my fine fellows.  I - ouch!  Oh, hold on a second."

As he spoke, he absently made to scratch his nose, but grazing his finger on a sharp, stony tooth, realized something was amiss.  With both hands, he removed the grotesque's head from his own, and set it on a small table in the doorway.  This revealed an old but still good-looking man, dark hair slicked back, a thin moustache and pointy beard - both trimmed with silver tips - adorned an otherwise thin face.

"Alright, well, I don't have much time to bother with cryptic talk and doublespeak.  You do something for me, and I'll do something for you, alright?  I have information regarding the possible - POSSIBLE, mind you! - whereabouts of the orb.  I will give it to you once you complete a task for me.  Oh, don't fret, it's a simple task.  Come in now, please, I'll have to show you something first."  Without further ado he walks back inside, leaving the door open.


----------



## Gray Shade (Oct 12, 2005)

Berserker Bill nudges Ranti and bobs his eyebrows up and down.  "Eh? Eh? We're in!"
In the hall, he stops to examine the gargoyle mask suspiciously, then follows the man, saying, "Yes, yes, the hand that washes each other's back and all that.  I understand.  We're in on this sort of game.  But where is Sir Dudley?"


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## Ranger Rick (Oct 12, 2005)

As Desert walks in he stares at the gargoyle head.  Desert than sloftlydrawls in a most coherent fashion, "Should we not know where this gentlemen itches before you commit to scratching?  For all we know his itch is caused by a disgusting STD."


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## Gray Shade (Oct 12, 2005)

" . . . ummmm . . . errrr . . . "  Berserker Bill wonders if there's a NON-disgusting STD.  He concludes there isn't but continues to follow the wizard.


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## Lazlow (Oct 12, 2005)

"Sir Dudley?"  He stops a moment and thinks, then looks back up at you.  "Oh, he's around, don't worry.  He's a stand-up guy - always on the square."  He then giggles, evidently pleased with himself.

He speaks as he continues down the hall.  "As I said, my task is a simple one.  I need you to find my dear boy Rocky for me.  I let him out last night to chase off a band of those annoying hob-goblins and he didn't return.  Quite unlike him.  Oh, I'm sure he's fine, but still, I'd like him home.  Ah, here we are."

Stopping towards the end of the hallway, he gestures upward at a large painting hanging on the wall.  It is a portrait, with Al the Wizard obviously being the main subject.  He is standing, wearing similar clothing, with one hand resting on a crystal ball, the other on the head of a strange looking beast - reptilian, rust-colored, with eight legs and a long thick tail.  Several dozen spikey barbs jut out from the top of its head, continuing down its back.  In a similar fashion, several sharp, pointy teeth jut out from it's lower jaw (which has a pronounced underbite) - and unbelievable as it seems, the beast seems to be smiling.  Its eyes are a peculiar bright whitish-silver, even though they don't appear to have pupils or corneas of any sort.

"My dear, dear beloved boy Rocky.  I'm sure he's fine, but he's getting along in age now, and he needs his medicine before too long.  Blind in one eye, don't you know.  Which reminds me, you'd do well to come up on his right side if at all possible."  He opens a drawer in a nearby side table and gets something out.  "Here is a spare hood and leash, young lady," he says, handing the apparatus to K.

"I imagine he'd be off to the East a ways - that's where the hob-goblins have made their camp.  I suppose you could just follow the trail of statues...  Well, I have much work to do, and we're burning daylight.  I bid you adieu."  He raises his hand toward the door, inviting you back down the hall and outside.


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## Wystan (Oct 12, 2005)

I pull Bill aside and state:
[sblock]"Based on this fellows comments abour dudley and the additional comments about the beast he has us looking for I would assume that Sir Dudley is now statuary in the garden of this mad imp"[/sblock]

I then turn to the 'mage' himself and state:
"Good sir Al, we come seeking information. It appears that you have lost your pet and we would be willing to try to assist, at least I assume we will assist. That of course is up to Captain Sherriff Berzerker Mister Bill here. However I do feel the need to point out that the building in which you reside is dready and dull and needs livening up. I think that you need spice in your wardrobe and color in your drapes. A skilled Engineermagus should be able to add windows to the upper stories and banners proclaiming your greatness and irritability to amaze and keep others away. Maybe make them in mages light so that they can flow like water and keep the night sky alive as well. You could then charge admission and make a small to middling fortune on the small minds of others, you could eventually retire to a small cottage by a lake with someone to watch the tower and funnel a percentage of the proceeds to you. I can assist in making the costumes and the clothes used by the servants and caretakers.  

I think that a nice bright orange-yellow ensamble for yourself and a more subdued ochre for the staff and such. You could then open a gift shop where you sell small magical trinkets, such as a button with an image and a statement that they toured 'Al's amazing tower'. Then a food area where you could sell sausages and ale and lemon water and the like for an exhorbitant markup. I mean where else in the area would they get food. 

As the god R'ngl'ng said 'There is a Sucker born every minute and a business man every 5 to take advantage of them', I would like to help you be that business man. Based on your comments about the statues, yu could also have a topiary/statuary garden where you can show off marvels of carving and listen to people say how 'lifelike' they are."


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## Gray Shade (Oct 12, 2005)

Berserker Bill gives Ranti a knowing look and touches the side of his nose, then says, probably too loud.  "You may be right, elf.  Gods, how I _hate_ wizards."

To Al the Wizard he smiles and says, "Trust me, I can sympathize with you wishing to get back your multi-legged friend, especially with him getting older and handicapped and all; however, I have need of Sir Dudley, not just information on the orb.  If you agree to produce Sir Dudley, and provide the information, then we will bring back this 'Rocky,' in exchange . . . for Sir Dudley and the information on the location of the orb."

If he agrees, then Berserker Bill, not having pieced it together quite yet, will ask, "What does this Rocky look like, anyway?"


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## Lazlow (Oct 12, 2005)

Al listens to both Ranti and the Sheriff, all the while never changing the look on his face nor his position.  When they are both finished speaking, he drops his hand back down to his side, and his head onto his chest.  He heaves a great sigh, then looks back up.

"This," he says, waving at the portrait, "is Rocky.  And this," he says, waving toward the door, "is the door.  I bid you:  ADIEU."

As he waves his hand the second time, a great flash of light and smoke erupts all around you.  When the smoke clears, you find yourselves back outside the building, door closed.  (You notice the gargoyle is back in place.)


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## Lazlow (Oct 12, 2005)

After a moment of stunned silence, another flash and puff of smoke erupts, and you find yourself back inside the house, with Al.

"Oh, I do apologize," he states flatly, "but I am prone to irritability.  To answer your questions:  I like my house just the way it is, thank you good sir Elf.  But you should be glad to know that I already own a nice bright orange-yellow ensemble for myself.  I like wearing it on the weekends, when it's sunny.

As for the whereabouts of Sir Dudley, I can only say that you are much more clever than you appear to be... CAPTIAN SHERIFF BERSERKER MISTER BILL.  Do not be surprised - yes, I know your name.  There is much that I know that you do not know I know."  He looks Bill right in the eye when he says this, then looks back at the group.  "My offer of help stands as is.  Take it or leave it.  Now.  Are there any more questions?"


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## Gray Shade (Oct 12, 2005)

Berserker Bill jumps in place, turning from left to right, obviously confused by all the teleportation.  "What the--?"

But when Al talks, he turns and focuses on him.  "That's your deal, is it?  Well, here's *OUR* deal: you're going to give us the information on the orb and we're gonna get your damned dirty, freakish, 6-legged, ugly dog, and you can take *THAT* or leave it!"  He then turns in a dramatic huff to leave, but stops when he can't recall how he got into the place.


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## DrZombie (Oct 13, 2005)

_Hmm. Catching a basilisk so he can turn more people into stone. I don't think so. And he seems to know where that orb is. Maybe we should catch that basisisk, then see if we can get him to tell us where that orb,is, and what it does. I just hope that the sheriff keeps control of his temper..... OK, that didn't work._ 

Gruaamsh takes a quick sip of his hip flask, then loosens his sword in it's sheath, hopefully without getting noticed.


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## Ranger Rick (Oct 13, 2005)

Desert ignores everything but the last curling wisps of smoke as it drifts ever higher.


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## Lazlow (Oct 13, 2005)

Al watches Sheriff Bill's display with a wary eye, but remains nonplussed.  

"Hmmm...  Well, alright.  You've twisted my arm.  You go find my Rocky and I'll give you the info."

He starts to wave his hand again, but stops suddenly.  He looks at you all, then snaps his fingers.  What looks to be a perfume bottle appears in his hand, and he hands it over to Gruammsh.

"You might need this.  Oh, it's not what you think - it's repellant.  Hob-goblin repellant.  A couple spritzes of that and they'll steer clear of you, no doubt.  Now.  Is there anything else before you're on your way?"


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## Gray Shade (Oct 13, 2005)

_Yeah, I got my Hob-goblin repellant right chear (hand on sword)._

"All right, Al, you got a deal.  But that ugly critter turns any of US to stone and you're gonna have some unhappy lawmen (and woman, with a nod to K) on your hands.  Now get us outta this dump."


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## Lazlow (Oct 13, 2005)

Another wave of his hand and **POOF!!**

You're all outside again.

*At End Of Road*
You are standing at the end of a road before a large brick building. Around you
is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully.

>


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## Wystan (Oct 13, 2005)

Look at stream (OOC Sorry, text adventure game roots showing)

------Edit Below------

"Well, that went well. I think we need to dispatch the duty that has been handed to us. We will need a large sack, some num-nums for the beast and a few spells of sleep and we might be able to dispatch this beast before we meet our... I mean catch this beast and return it to it's rightful master. However if I am turned into a statue, I wish all of you to avenge me and have beast on a stick for dinner. I will do the same for you."


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## Lazlow (Oct 13, 2005)

HOORAY!!!  A winner is you!

My faith in humanity is restored.


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## Gray Shade (Oct 13, 2005)

> east
> east
> 

*****

OR, in more modern gaming terms:

"Aye, Ranti, you will be avenged if need be, and if that wizard wouldn't turn you back from stone, we'll be having HIM for desert.  But let us hope it does not come to that."

Turning to the party as a whole, he says, "All right, gang, let's go literally bag us a Basilisk.  I like your idea of the sleep spells Ranti, prepare your elven magics to that end.  I'll track, you all stay ready to pounce.  Remember what Al said, approach from the left side."  He stops.  "Right side."  He looks at K.  "Right side?"

He shakes his head.  "Doesn't matter.  Just approach from behind.  And watch out for Hobgoblins."

He stops again.  "Or do we need a better plan?  Could we perhaps take a couple long spears or pole-arms, and sew together several sacks (as we each have at least one) in order to make a portable wall, which we could then hide behind, and then drop on the beast's head to disrupt its gaze.  Then, while its gaze is disrupted we will all gut it with our swords . . . er, I mean, beat it into unconcsiousness with the blunt sides of our swords.  How does that sound?  Anyone have a better plan?"

"It's only got one good eye left, if only there were some way we could simply poke that out, the beast would be no threat and we could easily return it to Al."

*     *      *

_OOC: Berserker Bill will begin tracking Rocky, starting in the direction: East, but will stop to debate a plan if anyone has suggestions (please have suggestions).  If he can tell he's getting close, he'll warn the party.  He'll also be on the look-out for Hobgoblin tracks._


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## Wystan (Oct 13, 2005)

Take Rock From Stream
Throw rock at basalisk

-----Or in modern terms---
Walking after Bill

"What are these 'Elven Magics' of which you speak? I am a warrior of great renown. I could kill the basalisk with one stone taken from this here stream. (mumbling: Might take me a while however).

I like the idea of a wall, but how then would we see the basalisk. I will approach it with my trusty blindfold and attempt to gut it....er, I mean beat it into submission or at least put its eye out..."


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## Gray Shade (Oct 13, 2005)

Bill stops tracking to talk to Ranti.  "I KNOW you are a great warrior, but you are also an Elf and therefore have Elven magics, right?  Why else would you bring up spells of sleepin--AH!  Yes.  Your blindfold.  You may have stumbled upon a genius of a plan there.  Your particular mode of combat WILL make you immune to the basilisk's gaze.  Therefore perhaps you can get its attention by attempting to poke out its good eye, perhaps, or even throwing a rock from a stream at it--although I'm a little afraid of someone blindfolded throwing rocks--in any case . . . where was I? Oh, yes!  Your blindfold!  While you have the beast's attention . . ." He trails off to look over the party, and asks under his breath, "who else here is sneaky?" Then cries out, "*Desert!*  Yes.  Desert and I will sneak up and drop the wall of sacks over it.  Then, with mighty, yet non-lethal, blows from Gruammsh and Richard, and then all of us, we will subdue the beast.  What say you all?"


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## Lazlow (Oct 13, 2005)

Ranger Rick:
[sblock]Desert's keen ears picks up the sound of many feet walking slowly across the gravel of the pathway, not too far behind the group.[/sblock]


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## Lazlow (Oct 18, 2005)

OOC:  ...?  Hello?


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## Gray Shade (Oct 18, 2005)

OOC: Hello!


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## DrZombie (Oct 18, 2005)

ooc: hello!


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## Lazlow (Oct 18, 2005)

OOC:  Er...  Yes, quite.

Anyone seen Ranger Rick or LogicsFate?  Neither have posted in about a week.  Kinda stuck right now.


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## Wystan (Oct 18, 2005)

OOC: I also will say hello, however I would have to seem short winded, and so will also say that we miss those who are missing and hope they are well.


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## LogicsFate (Oct 19, 2005)

OOC: (for all) [sblock] see OOC for groveling [/sblock]



> "Right side?"




K is skaken out of her relvery, and continues the shake with her head *"I wasn't paying attention"*


> Then, with mighty, yet non-lethal, blows from Gruammsh and Richard




*"What should i do?"* K takes some time to show Richard how to hit something with out killing it


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## Ranger Rick (Oct 19, 2005)

OOC: Sorry, I was off line longer than I intended.

Desert, looks to Seriff Bill and ask's "why are we being followed?


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## Lazlow (Oct 19, 2005)

OOC:  No prob, RR, glad to have you back.  Also: [sblock]Awesome response![/sblock]


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## Gray Shade (Oct 19, 2005)

"Er, followed?"  Berserker Bill freezes and looks about.


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## Lazlow (Oct 19, 2005)

Allow me to set the scene for you, gentle reader.

Our heroes - the lovely-as-a-flower K and her quiet-as-a-mouse cohort Richard, the rough-and-tumble Sheriff Bill, the homely-as-pie Desert, the larger-than-life Gruammsh, and the bright-as-a-parrot Ranti (sorry, running out of similes, there) - have recently visited the abode of Al the Wizard, local mage and sage, in the hopes of finding some information on the whereabouts of Sir Dudley, patron Paladin of Lizard Spit, and/or the Chromium Orb of Frobozz, an ancient artifact of arcane power.  In exchange for said information, Al has enlisted the aid of our heroes in retrieving his beloved pet, Rocky, whom our heroes have rightly identified as a basilisk, a creature capable of turning casual passers-by to stone with its deadly gaze.  

And so it is with this task at hand that our heroes have gone outside, whereupon they immediately commenced to discussing plans on how best to capture a basilisk.  The well-dressed Elven warrior laid forth a plan involving a sack, some num-nums, and several _Sleep_ spells.  The brave lawman Berserker Bill agreed to Ranti's initial plan, but then suggested another, altogether more intricate plan involving polearms, even more sacks, and a tailor.  As an option, he also tossed yet another plan into the pot, which involved inter-ocular injury.  Meanwhile, Gruammsh smoked, drank, and grunted a bit while K trained her cohort on the finer points of beating someone into unconciousness with the flat of a large sword.

Which brings us to Desert.

As usual, Desert simply stood there, devoting the whole of his attention to his immediate surroundings - that is to say, a singular aspect of his surroundings occupied the ENTIRETY of his attention until another singular aspect of his surroundings imposed itself on his attention, whereupon he promptly diverted all of his attention to this new, singular aspect.

We will get to that new, singular aspect in a moment, dear reader.

Let me refresh your memory:  Picture if you will four of our five heroes standing around, animatedly discussing plans for capturing a magical beast, all their attention on the task at hand, a task which is, indeed, a tall order, even for such mighty heroes as ours.  The fifth hero stands contentedly in the wings, simply waiting for someone to tell him what he should do when suddenly he hears something, turns to Sheriff Bill and asks:

"Why are we being followed?"

The words caused chills up the spines of the heroes.  All the heroes except Desert, that is, who didn't fully realise the import of his question.  Our heroes froze, still as statues (yes, they were aware of the irony), pinpricks of sweat forming on their palms and brows, the hackles on the backs of their necks standing up.  In the sudden silence, they all heard what Desert heard, quite clearly now:  The sound of about a half-dozen or more large, padded feet crunching the gravel of the pathway, about ten or twelve feet behind them all.


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## Gray Shade (Oct 19, 2005)

*All right.*

Berserker Bill unstraps a couple of throwing axes at the sound and steps away from the sound of footsteps.  In a hushed voice, he says, "K, make sure your companion knows that he is only to knock out Rocky and not those who are following us.  Desert, beware.  I believe those following us mean us harm."

To the party en masse he asks, "Anyone speak Goblin, or shall we kill them without banter?"

*     *     *

_OOC: Ready throwing axes and step up the path so that he's about 20-30 feet from whatever is following them.  He'll wait to throw his axes until he sees what the creatures/people are, but if they bear any resemblense to Hobgoblins, he's throwing an axe at each of two of them._


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## Wystan (Oct 19, 2005)

OOC (I think I know Common, Elven, Orc, and Sylvan so I can try in a sing songish Orcish)

For those that speak Orcish:
[sblock] In Orcish "Who goes there and tries the patience of the combat group that plies these lands?"[/sblock]

Everyone else:
"Gromplish ordankich abokithish Kek Kek?"

I then turn to the party:
"I think we can take them if they pose a problem to us. I can fight a large number of them. Richard can take a few himself, and Sherriff Mr. Berzerker Master Leader Bill can as well. I am sure that Gruumsh can slay a few as well. I say that we form a circle around K. and let her cast from between us and we slay them from the circle."

I pull down my blindfold and await the order.


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## Gray Shade (Oct 19, 2005)

*poopy!  Not "All Right."*

Bill lifts his nose and sniffs the air.  He puts his axes away as quickly as possible and says, "those aren't Hobgoblins!  It's that stinking Basilisk!  And here we are without our sacks ready.  I suppose we'll just have to beat it to unconciousness.  Remember to stay on its *RIGHT SIDE!*  K, unless you want to do it, let me have the hood Al gave us and I'll leap upon the thing's head.  Everyone try to keep it busy."

*     *     *

_He will then take the hood from K if she is willing to give it up and circle around to what would be the things right side when it comes up the path.  If there is time he will hide (Hide and Move Silently both +8) and attempt to leap out and put the hood over the beast's head when the best moment arrives.  If K or someone else wants to put the hood on the creature, then he will draw his sword and move to the right and prepare to concentrate on knocking the creature out._


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## Ranger Rick (Oct 19, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> ... Desert, beware.  I believe those following us mean us harm."[/color]
> 
> To the party en masse he asks, "Anyone speak Goblin, or shall we kill them without banter?"




"I do not like people like that.  I think I will kill them......Yes I will kill those that do harm."


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## Lazlow (Oct 19, 2005)

Wystan said:
			
		

> Everyone else:
> "Gromplish ordankich abokithish Kek Kek?"





The Elf's question is met with a strange panting noise, followed by a smacking of large lips, and a strange grunt, not unlike a _"Harrruuuuuummmmm??"_


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## Gray Shade (Oct 19, 2005)

Not just to confuse everyone further, Bill mumbles, "Perhaps we can distract it with food.  Anyone know what Basilisks eat?  It sounds hungry."


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## LogicsFate (Oct 19, 2005)

_Nice Recap_


> K, unless you want to do it, let me have the hood Al gave us and I'll leap upon the thing's head. Everyone try to keep it busy."



*"No, no you can do it, here"*  K hands the sack to Bill *"Don't worry, I know exactly want to do... Richard attack the basilik..." * As her compainions moves directly to the foe, she moves too, keeping richard interposed bettween her and danger. She yells out *"Flat of the sword, use the FLAT of the sword*


> "Perhaps we can distract it with food. Anyone know what Basilisks eat? It sounds hungry."



*"People, I think, Stoned people"*


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## Lazlow (Oct 19, 2005)

Our heroes turn around and see staring back at them what can only be Rocky, Al's beloved pet.  It sits on its haunches, looking quizzically at the group with its good eye, seeming friendly enough (for a basilisk).  Seeing its leash and hood being passed from K to Bill, it perks up, evidently ready for walkies.  However, as Richard moves towards it sword in hand, it bares its teeth and brings its good eye round to bear...

...When suddenly the front door to the wizard's mansion pops open and, standing on the threshhold, Al cries, "Ah, Rocky, my poor widdle wiggy-wiggums!"  The multilegged lizard beast hops up and jumps over to Al, flattening its ears and making strange, happy gurgling noises.  "My widdle wiggy-wums is a bad boy, isn't he?  Running away again?  Isn't him?  Isn't him?  Awwww, but daddy wuvs him anyway.  Yes he does.  Yes he does."

With a scritch under its chin, Al sends the beast inside.  The heart-wrenching display of affection between a man and his magical beast now over, Al stands up and regards the lot of you.  "So tell me," he says raising a single eyebrow and crossing his arms, "how did you do it?"


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## Wystan (Oct 19, 2005)

OOC: LOL - Seriously that had me in stitches. That was the easiest quest I have ever been on.... 

With the blindfold still on I turn to the mage's voice:

"It took blood sweat and tears my good man. We have done as you asked, now do as we asked"

I turn, lift the blindfold a bit and grin at Sherriff Mr. Berzerker Commander in Chief Lord and Master Bill.


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## LogicsFate (Oct 19, 2005)

K stops Richards movement with a command, and tells him to put up his sword. *"Job well done, Guys"*


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## Gray Shade (Oct 19, 2005)

"Yes, that's right.  Good job, team."

Berserker Bill can't help but smile a little when he answers Al with total honesty, "Good wizard, we caught that Basilisk in the best possible way.  By _planning._  Lots and lots of planning."  He sheathes his sword and tosses the hood and leash to the wizard.


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## DrZombie (Oct 20, 2005)

"And don't forget cigars." Gruaamsh says.

He violently pufs his cigar, and smiles.

"I love it when a plan comes together."


OOC : sorry, I just couldn't resist.


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## Gray Shade (Oct 20, 2005)

Dr. Z said:
			
		

> "I love it when a plan comes together."




OOC: I think that even _he_ would have agreed that it's even better when your plan succeeds before its initiated!


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## Lazlow (Oct 20, 2005)

OOC:  Boo, DrZ.  Boo.   

=================

Al takes in all of your explanations with the same look on his face, arms still crossed.  He stands there, looking at you.  Looking at you, he stands.  Standing, and looking.  Looking, and still standing while doing the looking.  Looking and standing seems to be the order of a few long, tense-filled moments, and at the same time, no less.  One might call it 'Stooking', or maybe 'Landing', if 'landing' didn't already mean something else, in which case we should probably just stick with standing and looking.

...Er, so finally, he speaks.

"Mm-hmmm."

He lifts his hand up and looks at his wrist.  You get the sense that he wants to emphasize the short amount of time it took you to find Rocky, but that doesn't make much sense, because everyone knows time is measured by shadows and sundials and waterclocks and such.  Strange character, this Al.  Sheesh.

"I suppose Rocky didn't just happen to come home of his own accord."

He waits just a second for an answer, but as soon as anyone starts to speak he interrupts again.

"And I suppose you didn't notice any of _those_ guys, either."  This he says while looking into the forest behind you all and inclining his head slighty in that direction.

You all turn around in unison to look behind you (which looks pretty durn funny, lemme tell you) and notice what must be a hobgoblin patrol, about a dozen or so strong.  Most of them weild various kinds of axes, and a couple have shortbows at the ready; they all sport well-worn chain or leather armor.  The looks on their faces tell you that they are just as surprised at being seen as you are at seeing them.  (Evidently they placed a lot of faith in their ability to hide and move silently.)

You all turn back around (in unison - ha ha, I don't think I could get tired of that) to Al, who says simply, "Get rid of these pests and THEN we'll talk about our deal." He steps back inside and slams the door.  You hear the distinct sound of him barring the door, and suddenly realize that it's probably a good thing he doesn't have any windows on the lower levels.  You turn back around to face the hobbo patrol.

One of them barks something in its gutteral language and you see the raiders step out slowly from the underbrush and spread out.  They stand there - a bit strange, they seem hesitant to rush you, but they're not going anywhere soon, either.

"Ah, a good old Mexican standoff.  This should be good," a familiar voice says behind and above you, and you realize that Al has returned to his gargoyle perch over the door.  You wonder how sane this Al the Wizard is.  And just what in the hell is a 'Mexican', anyway, and why do they standoff?

One of the hairy goblinoids at the forefront takes a step forward; he holds a mean-looking greataxe with red handprints on the blade in his hands, and wears patchwork pieces of scale armor.  He converses quickly with the one behind him, who wears mostly animal skins and holds a staff with what looks to be a large bird's skull on the top.  After a moment, he lowers his greataxe and raises a hand, palm outward, gesturing at you to hold.  He then points, and speaks in toothy, spittle-filled Common.

"Just give us the wench, and we'll be on our way."

==========

OOC:  Rolling for initiative (feel free to use Invisible Castle if you want, or I can do it for you, either way is fine with me).  State actions, please!

Crude map of area (clickity-click for bigness; the curved lines are the pathway up to the door of Al's house):





Initiative order:

Desert (1d20+3=22)
Ranti (1d20+4=21)
Raider 10 (1d20+2=21)
Hobbo shaman (1d20+2=21) (#2 in the pic)
Raider 7 (1d20+2=20)
Raider 8 (1d20+2=19)
Raider 11 (1d20=19)
Gruammsh (1d20+0=16)
Raider 9 (1d20+2=15)
Raider 12 (1d20+2=15)
Richard (1d20+8=12)
Hobbo leader (1d20+6=10) (#1 in the pic)
Raider 3 (1d20+2=10)
Bill (1d20+2=9)
Raider 6 (1d20+2=7)
Raider 4 (1d20+2=5)
K (1d20+2=4)
Raider 5 (1d20+2=4)


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## Gray Shade (Oct 20, 2005)

Berserker Bill glances up at the Gargoyle Al and says, "Ah, I see, so when you said the deal was that we get you Rocky and you give us information, there was an _understood_ 'oh, and kill a dozen or so hobgoblins for my entertainment as well.'  Should have suspected you were a liar--most magicians are.  I'm tempted not to bother with the Hobgoblins and go straight for you.  In fact, how do we know that these goblins don't work for you and you actually ordered them here to try to kill us so that you don't have to provide us the information you promised.  Maybe you don't even *KNOW* anything about the orb."

*    *    *

_OOC: Bill takes a 5-foot step so that he is between "D" and "G" on the map, and he is refocusing so his Inititative will be 22 starting in Round 2.  Also, Lazlow, well done post, lots of good stuff, please don't think that I don't like Al just because Bill wants to chop him up for 'lying' to us.  Don't take it personal, Bill wants to chop up most of the people he meets.   _


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## Lazlow (Oct 20, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Berserker Bill glances up at the Gargoyle Al and says, "Ah, I see, so when you said the deal was that we get you Rocky and you give us information, there was an _understood_ 'oh, and kill a dozen or so hobgoblins for my entertainment as well.'  Should have suspected you were a liar--most magicians are.  I'm tempted not to bother with the Hobgoblins and go straight for you.  In fact, how do we know that these goblins don't work for you and you actually ordered them here to try to kill us so that you don't have to provide us the information you promised.  Maybe you don't even *KNOW* anything about the orb."




A strange noise eminates from the gargoyle head - it's all muffled from the mask, but it _sounds_ like he's giving you the raspberries.

"Oh, be quiet ya big baby."


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## Wystan (Oct 21, 2005)

I will pull back down the blindfold as a move action, then shout in orcish:

Orcish[sblock]"When you rush us the great god Markwalberg will slay you with unmelodious sound from the heavens as we take that time to slaughter you quickly. As you can see, we can handle a basalisk, what makes you think we cannot handle you"[/sblock]

What non-orcish speakers hear:
 "Fyords hamanabakery undementedclothingdrive Markwalberg itsybitsspider undeservemurmuring inconcievablecliffsofdespair shreakingeelsprincess. andrethegianteatsgoats murgleburgle murgleburgle basalisk, contrivedlawyerlanguage insertedhereforyourprotection"

_OOC: I will then do as Mr. Berzerker Sheriff Uncle Milty Lord and Master Bill and refocus to raise initiative._


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## Lazlow (Oct 21, 2005)

_OOC:  Wystan, you want to refocus to raise initiative?  You're already acting second (after Desert).  Do you mean you want to ready an action against an approach or something?  Just want to clarify._


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## LogicsFate (Oct 21, 2005)

> "Get rid of these pests and THEN we'll talk about our deal."




K readies for an attack, *"Richard, forget about the flat of the blade stuff, attack the leader and kill all the hobgoblins"*



> "Just give us the wench, and we'll be on our way."



I worry this may not be the best for K's mental Health

*Wench?* _Did he call me a wench? No, nobody would after what happened earlier_
*Wench?*  _I, I don't think he called me a wench , maybe I'm hearing things again, I'll just drop it_
*Wench?* _Is it inconsivable that he said wench? no I suppose not, there is always a chance._
*Wench?*   _Maybe he said wench, maybe I'm not crazy_
*Wench?*  _He said it_
*Wench!* _He saitschssher ahHHHHHH_*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

The obvious actions come next

Veins popping out, voice screaming and eyes the color of insanity, K head long rushes the speaker(no not that speaker) the hobgoblin speaker, headlong grappling the hobgoblin, she attempts to show him... the error of his ways

I also worry that this may not be best for her physical well being

OOC: Init 14 err.. accually 16(forgot the dex.) Richard also has a 16 coicidence? Ah! nevermind, I see that you already rolled them, These actions will continue till the leader is dead, as she is out of useful spells, I think, the she will go more defensive and use richard to protect her back as much as possible, and maybe even use her crossbow, if it comes to that


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## Wystan (Oct 21, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> _OOC:  Wystan, you want to refocus to raise initiative?  You're already acting second (after Desert).  Do you mean you want to ready an action against an approach or something?  Just want to clarify._





OOC: Sure....sounds good to me, I was basically holding action anyway...


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## Gray Shade (Oct 21, 2005)

_OOC: Hey, Wystan, I think Lazlow is asking what you're going to do with your held action (such as "Stab the first one that gets in range" etc.).  Also, Logicsfate, did you just say "eyes the color of insanity"? because if you did, I think that's the best thing I've ever read--sweeeet.  Er, sorry, I probably should have put all this on the OOC thread.  Um, just to justify it being here . . . _

Berserker Bill doesn't have time to get into the semantics of what, under any _other_ circumstances, would have been a binding verbal contractual agreement with Al right now.  Nor does he have time to gesture at him for calling him a "baby"--but if he did, he would.  Also, again, he is overwhelmed by the ferocity of *K*.


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## DrZombie (Oct 23, 2005)

Gruaamsh claps down his visor. Thick grey smoke comes out of the nostrils of his helmet, and with a shrug he draws his sword and readies his shield.

[sblock=in orcish] Yeah, what he said [/sblock]

With a smokey sigh he follows the crazed wrench as she charges the orcs, trying to guard her back and chopping hapilly away at the bad guys.


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## Wystan (Oct 25, 2005)

OOC Held Action to stab the first non friend to approach. Listening for approach from the front.


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## Lazlow (Oct 25, 2005)

Round One...  Fight!


_OOC:  Ahh...  Will I ever get tired of quoting Karate Champ?  I sure hope not.  Oh, and since I'm using DM's Familiar to run the combat, I won't be using the Invisible Castle die roller (for most of the stuff).  You're free to do so, though, just let me know what you want to do and link the rolls._

===========

*Desert* smiles at the new arrivals, and even waves at them a bit.  They look at him uneasily, and at each other with strange, unsettling looks on their faces, but still he stands there.  "Creepy," one of them says.

*Ranti* doesn't smile, but rather pulls his blindfold back down and treats the hobgoblins to a nice little Orcish litany of slaughter.  Again, they look at each other, confused.  You think you hear one of them say something like, "What did he say?"

Hobgoblin #10, whom we'll call *Eaarrggh*, yells "Eaarrgghh!" as he rushes straight ahead, reaching for K with his outstretched hands (neither of which have a weapon).  He closes, which isn't a very smart thing to do...

*Wench?* I, I don't think he called me a wench, maybe I'm hearing things again, I'll just drop it...

...*K*, contemplating what she thought she heard, smashes her crossbow into Eaarrggh's gut, who shrieks in pain.  He clutches at his stomach, and staggers back a little, surprised to see a crossbow bolt sticking out between his fingers.  *Desert* looks curiously at the hobgoblin, but only for a second, as he realizes from the attacker's grunts, yells, and overall demeanor that he means to do them harm.  The young monk responds in kind, slamming his foot twice in rapid succession into the hobgoblin's much-beleagured midsection, and he falls over, motionless.

*The Shaman* wiggles his hands around strangely and barks something in his language, and, with a confident look on his face, a strange feeling comes over the lot of you...

- Ranti's Will save (1d20+3=23)
- Richard's Will save (1d20-1=12)
- Gruammsh's Will save (1d20+4=22)
- Bill's Will save (1d20+0=12)
- K's Will save (1d20+3=23)
- Desert's Will save (1d20+7=19)

...but the strange feeling passes rather quickly _(OOC: Awww, MAN!!)_ and you all feel perfectly fine.  The Shaman looks a little perplexed.

Hobbo #7, whom we'll call *Dieeee*, charges *Ranti* screaming "DIEEEE!!!", but this proves to be a mistake, as it allows the elven warrior, who was simply waiting for such a thing, to take this opportunity to attack his opponent.  Which he does, but his strike glances off the hairy attacker's armor.  The hairy attacker, twisting to dodge *Ranti's* sword, swings wide with his battleaxe and cleaves nothing but air.

Hobgoblin #8, *Grabby McGrabberson*, runs up and grabs at K, evidently not caring what happened to the last guy that tried that...

[size=+1]Wench?[/size] Maybe he said wench, maybe I'm not crazy...

...And *K*, once again weilding her crossbow, swings it at Grabby's face!  But he ducks low, avoiding the weapon, and moves in for a great big hug!  *K* will have none of this, however, and slaps the big lug's grubby mitts away easily.

Hobgoblin #11, now named *Slick*, saunters up (quickly) to the raiders' favorite female, and says (in common), "Come on, girlie, we'll treat ya nice," and (not surprisingly) also tries to grab her.  

[size=+2]Wench?[/size] Is it conceivable that he said wench? no I suppose not, there is always a chance...

Now see, If *I* were one of these hobgoblins, I would cut that out.  But they just don't seem to learn.  And this guy pays for it - a swift kick to the crotch from a slender, black-booted foot lets him know that _she_ has no interest in treating _them_ nice.  He winces, and reaches for his axe...

...but never quite makes it, as *Gruammsh*, foul-smelling smoke seeping from his helmet with a <sigh>, chops happily at Slick, removing that arm.  Slick expires in a surprised heap on top of his already fallen comrade.

Hobbo #9 seems a bit smarter than the rest, so we'll call him *Professor*.  He stays where he is and lets loose a well-aimed arrow from his shortbow, which miraculously finds a gap in the plates of *Gruammsh's* armor.  Fortunately, it isn't a deep wound _(OOC: 2hp damage)_.  Unfortunately, it's sticking out of his butt.

Hobbo #12 pays heed to the way close-combat has been playing out so far, and also opts for a ranged attack - *His* bowstring twangs and an arrow finds its way into *Bill's* calf.  _(OOC: 3hp damage)_

*Richard*, in his normal quiet way, takes a step forward and removes *Grabby's* head with his bastard sword.  Grabby doesn't seem to mind.  (Well, he's not complaining or anything, anyway.)

The *Leader*, sick of all the incompetence around him, rolls his eyes, hefts his greataxe, and charges into the frey screaming in rage, making a beeline for the closest person, *Richard*.  He swings a great deadly arc with amazing power and deals an incredible blow to *Richard*, who reels from it but remains standing.  _(OOC: 10hp damage to Richard)_

Hobbo #3, hoping his leader can cover him, rushes forward and attempts to make off with the girl this time.  Uh, let's call him *Hank*.  *Hank* reaches out...

[size=+3]Wench?[/size] He said it...

...and manages to slip past *K's* half-crazed haymaker, but her momentum allows her to wriggle out of *Hank's* feeble grasp.

*Mr. Berzerker Sheriff Uncle Milty Lord and Master Bill* has a few choice words for Al, who responds in the mature and very dignified manner befitting a person of his stature.  *Bill* moves up slightly, refocusing.

Hobgoblin #6, another bowman (so we'll call him *Beau*), unleashes a mighty torrent of arrow at *Richard*!  The feathered missile embeds itself in Richard's helm, but he doesn't seem to notice at all.

Hobgoblin #4, whose name just happens to be *Joel* (I'm not making that up, really, he introduced himself to me before the encounter) runs into the thick of things and takes a swing at *Richard*, but misses by a mile.  (I'm not surprised, he seemed like a dufus when I talked to him.)

[size=+6]Wench![/size] He saitschssher ahHHHHHH[size=+6]AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[/size]

I think we all know who's going next.  In a screaming frenzy of spittle-soaked rage, the demure little spellcasting girl leaps straight at the hobgoblin leader, who is too taken aback to react effectively.  The leader bellows in surprise and agony as *K* buries her teeth into his shoulder and begins to wring his neck, literally.

Hobbo #5, having watched everything up to this point with his axe in hand, looks to the Shaman, who shrugs.  This doesn't seem to fill *Hobbo #5* with confidence, so he warily puts his axe away and pulls out his bow.

================

_OOC:  End of round 1!  Here's everyone's positions at the start of round 2:




Actions?_


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## Gray Shade (Oct 25, 2005)

Berserker Bill ignores the arrow in his leg, licks his lips in anticipation, and mumbles, "Stupid wizards."

*     *     *

_OOC: Holding action.  As soon as that Shaman tries to act (presumably to cast a spell), Bill's gonna plug 'im with a couple throwing axes (Rapid Shot), and hopefully not only damage him and ruin his day, but ruin his spell as well.  Also, when he takes this action, he'll take his free five foot step to move over directly behind Gruaamsh.

Also, I'll let you take care of my rolls, Lazlow--it's kind of fun to see all the action results at once!    _


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## DrZombie (Oct 25, 2005)

"DO UNTO OTHERS AS OTHERS DO UNTO YOU" 

Gruaamsh bellows.

Being very unhappy with an arrow sticking out from an area he considers to be exit only, he charges the archer, and tries to do unto him with a sword what has been done unto Gruaamsh with an arrow.

need I draw a picture?


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## Lazlow (Oct 25, 2005)

DrZombie said:
			
		

> "DO UNTO OTHERS AS OTHERS DO UNTO YOU"
> 
> Gruaamsh bellows.
> 
> ...




========

_OOC:  Uh, no, no that won't be necessary..._


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## LogicsFate (Oct 26, 2005)

K briefly considers giving the hobgoblin a stern talking to, but bites down further anyway

OOC: Feel free to make all rolls(it's more exciting that way). K continues the frenzed, though probly inneffectual attack.


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## Wystan (Oct 26, 2005)

I prepare again and skewer whatever does not sound friendly... 

"MAY THE WRATH OF QUAN THE ACCOUNTANT GOD SMITE THEE UNTIL THY ACCOUNTS BALANCE!!!!!!!!!!"


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## Lazlow (Oct 28, 2005)

*Round Two...  Fight!*

*Desert* wastes no effort and takes a single sliding step forward, introducing *Hank* to the butt of his hand and his right elbow.  Hank is so excited he falls down immediately and moans softly.

*Ranti* screams, "MAY THE WRATH OF QUAN THE ACCOUNTANT GOD SMITE THEE UNTIL THY ACCOUNTS BALANCE!!!!!!!!!!"  and *Dieeee* screams back with his own snappy catchphrase, "DIEEEEEE!!!!!"  Ranti replies to this retort with a solid skewering to Dieeee's crotchular region.  Dieeee doesn't seem to like it, not one bit, and raises his axe to respond...

The *Shaman* starts up with his arm waving and chanting bit again - but suddenly, FLYING AXES OUT OF NOWHERE!!  Well, not really, they came from *Sheriff Bill's* hand, who was waiting for that meddlesome Shaman to do just that again.  The Shaman is knocked back on his heels and falls flat on his back, an axe stuck in each lung.  Well, at least they'll have some nice handles to help carry the body.

*Dieeee* follows through on his earlier suggestion and attempts to help *Ranti* along in taking it to heart - and it seems he's rather serious about it, as his big axe connects with Ranti's thigh!  The sharp metal bites deep, but Ranti's an elf's elf, and he takes it like one.  (Whatever that means.)  _(OOC:  7hp damage)_

Uh oh.  *Gruammsh*, man.  _Freaking *GRUAMMSH*_, dude...  I mean, did you hear what he said he'd do?  Okay, so he charges full-steam at the Professor, who, as it turns out, isn't so smart after all, because he drops his bow and draws his axe, and calls out to Gruammsh all tough-like, yelling, "Bring it on, big guy!  I ain't a-skeered a you, you big goofy motheAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeerghrghrghlglglglllllssssshhhhaaaahhhh..."   Yeah, apparently that's the noise a hobgoblin makes when someone tries to make them into a hand puppet (or a sword puppet, as the case may be).  Wedging the hobbo's head into the crook of a nearby tree branch, Gruammsh pulls his sword out of the hairy buttockal region (dang, now THAT'S gonna need a major cleaning), leaving the lifeless husk dangling in the cool forest breeze.

Having just witnessed this horrid display, another hobgoblin archer lets loose another of *His* arrows at *Bill* again, but it falls short, sticking in the ground at Bill's feet.  At the same time, he barks something unintelligible in the direction of one of the other bowmen.

*Richard*, seeing his master in danger, lunges forward, driving his large sword _through_ the hobgoblin *Leader*, the end of it poking out clean through his other side.  The large hairy beast stiffens, letting go of *K*, and reaches pitifully for the sword, trying to remove it.  But the wound is grievous, and the bandit it dead before he even hits the ground (which he does right after he dies).  _(OOC: Critical hit!)_

Seeing his leader go down, *Beau* runs over to the fallen body of the Shaman and grabs at it frantically, ripping something from around its neck.

*Joel*, still acting like a dufus, takes another swing at *Richard*, and even though Richard's got a hobgoblin stuck on his sword at the moment it doesn't seem to matter.  Joel's blow glances feebly off of Richard's armor.

The red tide of rage finally ebbs, clearing *K's* mind and, finding a heap of stinking bodies at her feet, comes to her senses and grabs her crossbow, moving back behind her protector.

*Hobbo #5* unleashes the full fury of his rage, and an arrow speeds towards *Gruammsh* covering nearly half the distance to the large warrior and nestling itself snugly in the gravel of the clearing.  The pitiful bowman gulps exaggeratedly and starts to tremble in terror.

"Come on you guys,"  Al says behind you, "where's your style, your panache?  Put your hearts into it!  Don't think of it as a chore just because they're measly hob-goblins.  The elf seems to be the only one enjoying this, really.  I mean, 10 out of 10 to the girl for effort, but biting the guy?  He was wearing scaled armor, for cryin' out loud."

================

OOC:  Actions for round 3, please!


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## Wystan (Oct 28, 2005)

"BY THE HAIRY TOADS OF VROOMHANDLE THAT HURT...NOW you will taste the blade of a master swordsman sir Orc."

I swing where the orc that just hit me should be.


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## Gray Shade (Oct 28, 2005)

"Ut-tut-tut. No, no, no."  Berserker Bill admonishes and throws axes at Beau for picking up something off the Shaman.


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## DrZombie (Oct 29, 2005)

Another huff of foul-smelling smoke emerges from the demon-dog helmet.
He points the blood-and-unmentionables-smeared sword at beau.
"THOU SHALL NOT STEAL"
And he charges.


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## LogicsFate (Oct 29, 2005)

K smiles, in a remarkably good mood and her memory clear. Seeing how Hank tried to grab her too, she'll take out the rest of her aggression on him. She'll reload her crossbow if nessairy and use it on Hank, that bastard...

 Her nigh giddy mood drooping slightly when she finaly relises that hank has aready been taken down *"O, O well"* and shoots him anyway


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## Lazlow (Oct 31, 2005)

*Round Three...  Fight!*

*Desert* runs and quickly delivers a flying sidekick to *His* head, but *His* reflexes are considerably more well-honed than the rest of his compatriots and *His* evasive action saves his skin.

Two more axes fly from *Bill's* hands, one of which acquaints itself intimately with *Beau's* brainpan.  Beau doesn't like this one single solitary bit, and falls down dead in protest.

*Ranti* figures it's time that *Dieeee* lives up to his name, and puts into motion a most cunning plan:  Swinging at where the hobgoblin just hit him should be, he hits the beast with his sword, causing a wound.  The wound causes the hobgoblin to scream and die.

*Gruammsh*, screaming holy commandments, begins to run at Beau but seeing him dead re-directs his charge at *Hobbo #5*.  *Hobbo #5* has no idea what this "stealing" business is all about, as he's just been standing there shooting arrows at people like he was told.  It seems that lately things just haven't been going his way; first it was the burnt breakfast and then later he couldn't find his favorite throwing axe, then the whole business with the undergarments and now this.  Oh, great, just wonderful, now it's a sword through the chest cavity.  Well, this is another fine how-do-you-do.  At least he won't have to follow up on latrine duty now that he's dead.

Dropping *His* bow and pulling out *His* battleaxe proves to be too much - *His* feeble fumbling with the weapon has caused him to drop it entirely!  _(OOC:  Oh noes, critical fumble!   )_

*Richard* yanks his large sword out of the body of the dead Leader and swings it erratically at *Joel*, who is by now far too scared out of his wits to do anything but put ever fiber of his being into staying alive.  He jumps out of the way just in the nick of time and takes off into the woods (heading east).

*K* calmly shrugs and puts *Hank* out of his misery once and for all.

===========================

_OOC:  Positions at the end of round three:





One left on the field, folks, and one high-tailin' it outta Dodge (you can still see him through the trees off to the left of the pic, here)._


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## Wystan (Oct 31, 2005)

(OOC Note I never look at the map...  )

I will proceed to try to find the one that i left on the field. I will try using an untrained tumble check and stab him in the -----.


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## Gray Shade (Nov 1, 2005)

Berserker Bill will sling his final throwing axe at the back of *His* head, attempting to "hamstring" him (the hamstring runs all the way up through the neck, right?).


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## LogicsFate (Nov 2, 2005)

Someone cue the credits. K waits for the battle to finish up, content to let Richard conduct his mop up.


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## Lazlow (Nov 2, 2005)

_OOC:  Just to clarify, you all realize that there are two hobgoblins left, right?  One still on the field (on the map), and one that's running away (off the map)?  Just want to make sure._


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## Gray Shade (Nov 2, 2005)

_OOC: Yup! I'm throwing an axe at the one running away, and I'm pretty sure that the other one's not going to survive Desert, Gruammsh, Ranti, and Richard pounding on him.  If I miss with my axe, well, I'm sure someone will help me out, right?  But, hopefully, I won't miss.  OOOPS!  Oh, I see what you mean.  Okay, slight change, then, instead of throwing my axe at *His* head, I'm throwing at the other one--*Joel*.   _


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## Lazlow (Nov 2, 2005)

*Desert* takes a sliding step forward, punching at *His* midriff, but *His* reflexes are quick - or are they?  Like lightning, *Desert* unleashes another blow, grabbing *His* lower jaw and ripping *His* head, spine attached, out through the neck!  Blood spurts everywhere, and the remains of *His* limbs and body drops lifeless to the ground in front of the kung-fu master, who holds the disembodied head and spine aloft.

"FLAWLESS VICTORY..." Al comments.

*Berserker Bill* unleashes yet another pair of throwing axes, both of which unerringly find their mark, "hamstringing" *Joel* so well that it doesn't look like he'll go anywhere ever again.  The last raider collapses in a heap and is still.

<CLAP...  CLAP...  CLAP...>

"Oh, bravo.  Well done, yes indeed.  It's been so long since I've seen a decent skirmish - usually a couple of well-placed fireballs take them out rather quickly.  Thank you kindly for the show."

The door to Al's house opens, and he motions to you all.  "Please...  Come in.  I believe I _do_ have something you'd be interested in."


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## Gray Shade (Nov 2, 2005)

Berserker Bill collects his axes before entering the tower.  As he goes in, he gives Al a bit o' the squinty-eye and bottom lip.


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## Wystan (Nov 2, 2005)

I proceed to take off my blindfold, see the carnage, look at my leg, and pass out.


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## Gray Shade (Nov 2, 2005)

Without losing a beat, Bill, turns around, goes back outside, picks up Ranti, and carries him in.  Again, giving Al the ol' squinty-eye and bottom lip.

Assuming Al shuts the door at some point, Bill will try to wake up Ranti then.


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## LogicsFate (Nov 4, 2005)

Lazlow said:
			
		

> *Desert* unleashes another blow, grabbing *His* lower jaw and ripping *His* head, spine attached, out through the neck!  Blood spurts everywhere, and the remains of *His* limbs and body drops lifeless to the ground in front of the kung-fu master, who holds the disembodied head and spine aloft.




K gasps in shock and appalledness *"Ahw, Ahw, That's not right! Now the body is useless." *  She gets over it quickly *"Come on Richard"* she heads toward Al's place


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## Wystan (Nov 4, 2005)

Gray Shade said:
			
		

> Without losing a beat, Bill, turns around, goes back outside, picks up Ranti, and carries him in.  Again, giving Al the ol' squinty-eye and bottom lip.
> 
> Assuming Al shuts the door at some point, Bill will try to wake up Ranti then.





I moan a bit "...owmom, itstooearlytogetup..."

If S.M.H.M.Y.H.B. Bill continues I will proceed to awake, look at my leg and let out a blood curdling yelp....

Then I will look away, pointedly ignoring my leg and say:
"That was not nice, not nice at all. I think Mr. Al that you should clean up that mess outside and offer to assist in the redress and recompense for the wounds that we suffered. We did the dirty work for you and the least you could do would be to right the wrong that you perpetrated on us. Or to put it in small words, HEAL MY LEG."


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## Gray Shade (Nov 4, 2005)

Bill gives Ranti's wounded leg a few friendly, if absent-minded, sharp pats as he stands up.  "Yes, the brave elf is right.  Some of my deputies have been injured in that fight."  He doesn't seem to have noticed the arrow sticking out of his own leg.  When he does, his expression turns to that of a father who sees his child pulling the cat's tail again.  He rolls his eyes and yanks the arrow out, tossing it aside.


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## Lazlow (Nov 7, 2005)

"Well, you did save me the trouble of having to mop all that up myself.  Which is becoming increasingly aggravating, I must say.  So for that, I am grateful."  He reaches over and tugs on a long, ornately braided rope of gold and red cloth that hung against the wall, and you hear a faint <BONG, BONG> coming from another part of the house.  Al frowns a bit and yanks on the cord again with a bit more gusto.  Immediately afterward, a small, vaguely humanoid creature-like thing falls down from the top of the rope and lands at Al's feet with a thud.  It recovers quickly and hops up onto its feet, bringing it to its full height of nearly two feet.  Its pale skin is covered by neither clothing nor hair, yet neither it nor Al seem to care.

"Ah, there you are.  Please, fetch these nice people some Mareseydotes tea.  Bring it to the sitting room."  Al dismisses it with a wave of his hand.  "Off you go."  The creature bows once and rolls end over end, somersaulting its way down the hall and disappears.

"Now, if you'll follow me?"

Al makes his way a short distance down the hall and into a comfortable, well-appointed room.  A large stone fireplace dominates the far side of the room, in front of which a pair of couches are arranged, along with a large ornate and overstuffed armchair; a low table is situated in the center of this seating area.  The remaining walls are lined with shelves from floor to ceiling, upon which are all manner of trinkets, ornaments, knick-knacks, and gewgaws.  Thickly padded and intricately woven carpets cover nearly the entire floor, in stark contrast to the cold stone of the hallway.

"Please, have a seat," Al says as he sits in the large armchair.  "Make yourselves comfortable.  Ah, but do please try to mind the blood, there,"  he adds quickly as Ranti hobbles into the room.  "The tea won't be but a moment."

Once you've all sat down, he asks, "Now.  What can I do for you?"


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## Wystan (Nov 7, 2005)

OOC: I mind the blood, I mind to get it on every surface possible. I try my best to be clumsy. I use tumble rolls if needed (untrained of course)... 

 "Sorry about the blood, but I appear to have gotten wounded in a battle that was not needed. I hate to kill those that do not need to be killed. Now I have no such qualms about those that would use me unfairly and against my better judgement. I could have been seriously hurt, not to mention those that are less skilled at the art of killing than I am. I think you owe us more than just a simple apology and some doesydotes tea. I think we are due a reward commensurate with the trouble that you just put us through. I would hate to have to inform the clergy of 'Gar'goyle' that you are using his countenance as a means of spying on others. His portfolio includes waterspouts and horrible messy death due to a sudden infusion of concrete. I also feel that we should be given the information we seek posthaste and do not try to cheat us as we are skilled in the ways of filleting those that use the countenance of 'Gar'goyle' in vain." 

OOC: I will be away for the next week or so visiting family.


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## Gray Shade (Nov 8, 2005)

Berserker Bill, unused to hearing Ranti intimidate, smiles broadly and jerks his thumb at the elf.  "What he said," he tells Al.

*     *     *

_OOC: Have fun, Wystan!_


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## LogicsFate (Nov 9, 2005)

K sits somewhere, happily enough, and why not? It's be a good day. No, no, with the body count, it's been a great day!

K sits somewhere smiling, off in her own world.


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## Lazlow (Nov 9, 2005)

Al watches and listens to Ranti rant on with a bored look on his face.  "Yes, yes, filleting, fine," he says, waving him to his seat.  

"Now.  You're looking for the Chromium Orb of Frobozz, eh?  Well, first of all, you'll never find it.  No one's ever found it, and there is much debate over whether it still exists at all.  Secondly, even if it DOES exist, you'll never get past the Guardian.  No one ever passes the Guardian, and there is much debate over whether the Guardian would even let those worthy enough for the Orb to pass.  Legend has it the Guardian was fickle, yes.

"Thirdly," Al continued, scooching sideways in his chair so that both of his legs dangled off one of the arms, and putting his hands behind his head, "there is so little information on the Orb that it would take years and years of dedicated research to even find vague hints as to its possible whereabouts."   He sits up suddenly.  "But you're in luck.  Because I just so happened to do just that thing.  Wasted years and years of my life, I did, all for a wild goose chase, in my humble opinion."

At this point the hurried sound of slightly wet flesh slapping on stones announces the arrival of Al's homonculous, bearing a tray laden with a silver teapot and several small cups.  The creature sets the tray down on the table and pours a cup for all of you.  Setting the pot down, he rolls under the table, under Al's chair, and finally out the door.

"Please, it's quite good.  Will do wonders for your wounds there, too, my good elf."


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## Gray Shade (Nov 9, 2005)

Berserker Bill sips at the tea, pointing his pinky high in the air as he seems to think is good manners.

"Thank you, yes, quite good."  He continues to hold his tiny cup of tea.

"All right.  Now, may we ask questions and be taken seriously, or are you going to 'yes, yes' us?"  With the 'yes, yes' he imitates Al's wave to Ranti.  Before Al can answer, he continues, "I don't think the Guardian will be a problem.  If you know where the Orb is, please tell us so that we may be on our way, and take up no more of your time."


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## Lazlow (Nov 14, 2005)

"Oh, you don't think the Guardian will be a problem, eh?" Al repeats, almost mockingly.  "My good Sheriff, do you even know what the Guardian is?  Some say that it is a creature of unimaginable power.  Some say that it is the living embodiment of the Orb itself.  Still others say that it permeates the very place in which the Orb is housed."  He looks off into space, a bit absently and continues, "Of course, there is that one guy who said the Guardian was just some guy with a melon, but what that's supposed to mean, I have no idea..."

He snaps his fingers and a rolled-up parchment appears in his hands.  "Okay.  I have to admit, you've piqued my interest in this all over again.  But I am far too busy nowadays to go off gallavanting all over creation to follow the leads - and besides, I'd hate to waste another several years on what will most likely turn out to be a wild goose chase anyway.  So I give this to you on one condition:  If any of you survive, and there IS some truth to any of this, just come back and tell me about it, okay?  If you don't find anything, I don't want to know."

He stands and hands the scroll to K.  "There you are young lady, be sure to keep these...  Gentlemen...  In line, won't you?  There's a good lass.  Now, if there's nothing else...?  Very well then.  As I said, I'm a busy man.  Let me walk you out."

<POOOFFF!!!>

With a huge puff of smoke, you all find yourselves outside Al's house once again.

============

OOC:  Here endeth chapter 1!  See the OOC thread for important info.


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## Gray Shade (Nov 17, 2005)

"Well," Berserker Bill says, waving away any lingering smoke puffs.

He looks at the scroll in K's hand.  "What's it say?"


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## Wystan (Nov 17, 2005)

I look around with eyes of a person just waking up. I look for the cup of tea in my hand...

Shouting "You...You....You...Maladjusted Misanthrope. We demand that you assist us in a more physical manner. We defeated these dreadful savage..."

I look around, see all the blood and proceed to dislodge the contents of my stomach onto the surrounding terrain.

A little less green himself and a little lower in decible "I think that you owe us new outfits or at least a repair on the current batch. I also think that you should offer us a choice of fine foods and drinks to take with us on our way..."

I vomit again

"And a set of replacement clothes for the wear and tear that these will see. Or at least a set of masterwork craftsman tailor tools so that I can repair them in our down time. I also think that you owe us a rest and a nice place to recouperate for the evening. Barring that I think we will proclaim loud and long that you are a fraud, a trickster, a shyster, and a sesqidedalian. I also will curse you in the name of the god 'Seerloin O' Beif', may the victuals that you consume turn into a mass of writhing maggots and that drink that you partake of become like fouled privy water.."

I vomit again

I turn to the group...

"Mr. Sherriff Lord and master the Honourable Venerable Berzerker Bill sir, we need to get more information. I think we need a nice big city with a library and a bath house and steam rooms and a 'House of Less Than Honourable Persuits' should be our next stop. I feel the need to do some research and practice for the task ahead of us."

I proceed to walk past the bodies looking into the air and trying to ignore the blood. Turning a bit more green the whole time until I pass them.


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## LogicsFate (Nov 17, 2005)

K looks pained as the wizard hands her the scroll



> "What's it say?"




K pauses, thinking of ways not to have to look for the OoF, failing that, she notices something else *"Hey look"* K points to the other side of the room *"Wizard guy is back"* Taking a chance in the distraction, she grabs and breaks off the arrow that has been so comfortable lodged in Richards helm for the past few minutes.

*"Guess I was wrong, hey look!"* She says as she unfurls the scroll

*"Short and pleasant,Short and pleasant,Short and pleasant,Short and pleasant"*whispers K loudly, as she reads the scroll


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## Wystan (Jan 31, 2007)

"Guys?"
I start singing silly songs.


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## LogicsFate (Feb 2, 2007)

As K's eye move down the parchment, she's upswept in the mood and begins to whistle silly songs.


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## Wystan (Feb 2, 2007)

"...bottle of ale on the whale, 3 bottles of ale, take one away and the whale slaps his tail, 2 bottles of ale on the whale...


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## DrZombie (Feb 8, 2007)

Gruaams sighs, whipes his sword clean, ehr, cleaner on the tunic of the nearest hobgoblin, opens his helm, puffs on his cigar, and takes a large swill of brandy. He takes a look at tha scroll.

"*Let me see that. Hmm*."

He contemplates.

"*Saving the universe comes first. Then we'll get to lying mages. Lying is, indeed, a sin. We'll punish him. Thoroughly. Possibly using sharp objects. but all in a lawfull way. And we'll punish him GOOD*."


OOC : I forgot what I did to that poor hobgoblin. Laughed hard when I read it again.


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## Wystan (Feb 8, 2007)

"Well, that was unpleasant."
I stare off into the tree line studiously ignoring and not looking at the carnage. 
"So lets see, We met at a tavern, cleaned the docks, had a bar brawl, insulted a wizard, captured a baslisk, insulted a wizard some more, killed some evil things, insulted a wizard yet again, and now we go seeking an orb that may or may not be guarded by a guy with a melon..... Somehow I feel like the cryer at a play before the second act starts."
I go to take stock of the party and notice that we seem to be down a few...

OOC: who do I see, K and Richard, Gruaam, Me, I know Desert is not around, but is Mr. Sherrif, leader, master , father figure Berzerker Bill around?


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## DrZombie (Feb 9, 2007)

Gruammsh takes a puff from his cigar, and smiles rather viciously: "*Except that a cryer at a play seldomly vomits on his own boots.
Allright, you bunch of miscreants, there is evil to be fought, worlds to be saved. But first : DRINKS.*"


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## Lazlow (Feb 14, 2007)

"Come on, boy, let's go do your business, we don't want t- OH, for Pete's sake."

You turn to see that Al has stepped out of the front door, his trusty pet Rocky in tow, evidently time for walkies.  He gives you all a disdainful look, followed by an exasperated one.  Pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes, he finally speaks to you:

"Why am I not surprised that you're still here?  I knew, I just _knew_ something like this was bound to happen."   He looks up again.  "So what are you still doing here, 'planning' again?  How long is *that* going to take?  And why do you feel the need to do it here, on my front doorstep!?"  He seems to be getting a bit agitated now.  "I mean, seriously, I move out here to the country to be _AWAY_ from everyone, but somehow everyone always seems to find a way to _pester_ me.  If it's not the mayor or the captain it's the mining guild, or more hobgoblins or trolls or who knows what!  _Why can't you people just leave me alone?!?_"
Just as his ranting reaches a crescendo, he pauses...  Something's dawned on him, and he doesn't like it, not one bit.  Rocky senses his master's anger and starts to growl viciously, although, being mostly blind he's directed his own ire towards a small privet bush nearby the door.

"Were...  Were YOU the ones singing out here?"   (Um...  Is the sky _actually_ darkening above?  Or is that just me?)  "Something about whales and tails and ale?"  (No, I think it's actually darkening, really.  Those clouds seem to be moving in fast...)

Al pulls himself up to his full height, which really seems to be a lot taller than you initially thought.  It's quite a frightening sight, really.

"WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED YOU TO START AT ONE MILLION BOTTLES?!?!?"


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## Wystan (Feb 14, 2007)

I pull down the blindfold (hard to be a firghtening sight when one cannot see it... ) and draw my sword.
"My good ma...gno...troglodite, We were here, as you assisted us none to well, still trying to decide what was needed as the next step in our journey. 

As to the one million, well I decided that proving our superiority to your lack thereof was more important and waiting for you to emerge could take a year or two. Therefore I alone decided that I should entertain us whilst we waited. You will notice that I skipped the entirety of 540,000 to 480,000 as Achen-Arrh Block the accountant god states that they are inauspicious numbers and may have actually hindered our future endeavors. 

As Bobo the Clown god always said "May the rubber nose not be full of that which your enemy blows". As I have deemed you to be a blowhard who assists others only as a means of not assisting them, I have decided that it is a small part of my lifes work to annoy you. 

If you continue to bluster and threaten with weather effects I will be forced to cause someone to have to remove a few feet of steel from your precious lungs. We hate being toyed with and I for one would glady play 'skewer the troglodite' three times a day for the forseeable future.

As to your 'pet' there, I would suggest that you keep him on a shorter leash or the constabulatory may need to be informed of the menace that you are allowing to roam free over the countryside. Oh wait, we are the constabulatory, so I guess we already know. If I hear one more complaint about your reckless endangerment of sapient life I will be forced to remove the problem and have it destroyed...

NOW HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?

Waiting on the next move, readying an action to skewer Al.  (Please use the needed Intimidate (+4) rolls for me... I am more than ready to infuse his personage with steel)


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## Gray Shade (Feb 15, 2007)

Berserker Bill, having been stunned for several minutes/hours/days/months by all the vomit the elf produced (like a mouse throwing up three full chicken legs, one after another) suddenly looks up from the mess, his arm still raised with a cup of tea in the hand, pinky still in the air.

*"YEAH!"* he shouts at Al, stepping closer via the throat of a dead goblinoid but kind of slipping on that and then catching himself on Ranti's shoulder.  He mutters a curse and a thanks and then offers Ranti his cup of tea.  Speaking conspiratorially, he mutters to to the elf,_ "here, this should help your tummy.  I swear I haven't drank fro -- no?  Need to kill: rising?  Too much of a rage?  I understand."_  He tosses the cup of tea away without looking and it bounces off Richard's helmet without provoking a reaction except a comical "doink!" sound effect.

Glaring back at Al, the Sheriff again screams (spitting probably too much for decent company while doing so), *"We'll roast your flesh over a spit made of your bones and desecrate your pet in foul and disturbing ways if you don't bugger off!  We had a deal, wizard!"* he spits the venomous word.

He then draws his sword and says one last sentence before letting the remaining (perhaps miniscule, depending on who you talk to) bit of intellect bury itself deep, deep, deep . . . deep within him.  He shakes then froths violently, like a volcano bursting its top, his head tilted back, literally spewing and spattering some of the most unpleasant-smelling bubbles of enough spittle to make a dragon raise an eyebrow.  His limbs shiver and convulse.  His tacky, gold chains rattle and even his chest hair seems to quiver with rage.

Before falling into incoherence he manages to scream (crimany, can't he just talk?), *"Y'all go ahead and get the orb; I'll hold off the wizard!"*

Reeling back a half step, readying for what looks at first to be a powerful charge he roars like a Hill Giant kicked in the nuts and then flings his sword at the wizard.  Apparently attempting to kill him in blow.


*     *     *     *     *

OOC: Bill will rage and then fling his sword at the wizard.  Aiming for the throat.  If, and this is unlikely, Al is not killed instantly, he'll charge forward and strangle the life out of him.

There.  That outta do it.  Now, let's go find that orb!


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## Wystan (Feb 16, 2007)

OOC: So Gruamsh, K, and me.....

Hmmmm....

Hmmmmm.....

Hmmmmmm......

Okay.....

No clue what to do here.... 

1, 2, Skip a few , next day hath appearest?


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## Lazlow (Feb 19, 2007)

"What the...?!?" Al mutters as he barely jumps out of the way of the flying sword.  "Hey!  You coulda hurt someone with that!"   Rocky reacts with lightening speed to his master's yelp and viciously uproots the helpless privet bush, shaking it in its mouth like a - well, I was gonna say like a dog maiming a squirrel, but that's really much more gruesome than an ancient, half-blind basilisk gumming a piece of vegetation to death.

Al's eyes grow wide in seeing Berserker Bill in his berserking fury running toward him.  Almost without thinking, he points a fist in Bill's direction and blurts out what sounds like "Blurgle!", and a greenish/purplish glow bursts forth from a ring on his fist and envelops Our Lord And Master His Mighty Potentate Berserker "Sheriff" Bill, stopping him in his tracks - and just in time, too, as his (none-too-clean) fingers were mere inches from Al's throat.  

A look of pained surprise grips Bill's face like a Mind Flayer on, uh, someone with more intellect than a raging barbarian.  He doubles over, gripped by the arcane glow (which is also accompanied by a funky "eeeeOOOOeeeeOOOO" noise (Al explained later that this was merely for effect and served no useful purpose)), and staggers backwards a step or two.  He then spins around and tries to take another step, but jerks his body upward instead, as if trying to give his navel a bit more sun.  He rocks from side to side, moaning and groaning and grasping at the empty air, like a hairy, dirty street performer in a dance macabre.

(Al, who has no patience for this sort of thing, merely sighs and rolls his free hand in a circular "let's get this moving along" motion.)

Bill's arms finally drop like wet noodles to his sides, and as his head lolls about on his neck, he cranes his head upward and blurts out, "Rrrooooffff....  Fff - izz...", the plentiful spittle that once erupted so mightily from his mouth now merely oozing into his stubble and down his neck (and even a little into his once-venerable chest hair, making it a bit less sproingy).

Al, confused a little bit, glances up at the roof and shrugs.  He regains his composure and steps out from behind Bill's now seemingly intellect-less (yet still standing) body.  He smooths his ruffled robes down and slicks his hair back into place.  "I really didn't want to do that, honestly,"  he says with just a hint of genuine remorse in his voice, "damn these lightning reflexes!"  A gurgling, growling noise catches his ear at that moment and he looks down at his reptilian companion and rolls his eyes.  He picks up the leash and gives it a yank or two until Rocky releases the now leafless ex-shrubbery.

"Now I'm sure the rest of you will have better sense than to try something like that, yes?"   He waits just a split second before answering that himself.  "Yes.  As I thought.  Don't worry, he's perfectly fine.  Well, physically, I mean.  Mentally, eh, he'll be out for a while.  It depends on the mind..." He looks at Bill and gives a "meh" shrug of his shoulders that doesn't exactly fill you full of hope.  "He could be out for hours, days, weeks, months...  Who knows?  His intellect might even bubble up to the surface every now and then just to become buried again.  But, in the long run, he'll come around...  Probably...  Anyway.  You have all the info I've given you, and you still have the majority of your party intact.  I suggest you go ahead and embark on this quest of yours, while the gettin's good, as they say.  And take...  This...  Along with you, if you would be so kind," he adds, gesturing at Bill's still-drooling husk of a body.

He stands there waiting for you all to stir, but is momentarily met by only your silence, and your own surprised faces, jaws agape in astonishment.

He sighs.  "Come come now, it's not all that bad..."  He glances toward Bill, and does a double-take as he notices more drool cascading in gleaming rivulets down his chin.  "Well...  Alright.  Maybe it is."  He thinks for a quick moment, and something dawns on him.  He raises a pointed finger and exclaims, "Ah!  Here.  Have a monkey."

With another of his trademark *POOF*'s a very confused but very cute little rhesus monkey appears on Bill's shoulder.  It is dressed in an adorable little embroidered red velvet vest with matching hat.  It chitters and chatters for a second as it gains its bearings.

"I'd call it a helper monkey, but it never helped me, that's for sure,"  Al says, that last bit trailing off into an under-breath muttering.  "Now.  I do believe you're in a position to start a new chapter in your adventuring.  So, I bid you luck, fair weather, and adieu.  Please hesitate to bother me again."

And with a final *POOF*...

You find yourselves standing outside the front door of The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern.


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