# Delete Me



## Stormborn

Mods, some how this thread was doubled.  Never did that before.  Please delete this one as the other contains the actual discussion.


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## megamania

Deja Vu?   Does this mean something important is trying to be said to me?


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## Angel Tarragon

Stormborn said:
			
		

> (Almost forgot the "no off topic poll" rules, so no poll here.)



The rule got nixed quite some time ago. Poll to your hearts delight.


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## Aurora

Stormborn said:
			
		

> Mods, some how this thread was doubled.  Never did that before.  Please delete this one as the other contains the actual discussion.



...but with this crowd, this thread _could_ acquire an "actual discussion".


Damn, I suck at will saves. I really did try not to post anything....


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## Aeson

The hivemind has assimilated a new thread.


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## megamania

Post Addicts have a new site!


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## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> The hivemind has assimilated a new thread.




Yup and I see the same people are drifting here.  Where is JDV1? (something like that)


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## Aeson

The hivers have no lives.


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> The hivers have no lives.



_I_ have a life.....okay not really.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> _I_ have a life.....okay not really.



You should really look into getting one of those. I hear its great.


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## Nyaricus

Aeson said:
			
		

> You should really look into getting one of those. I hear its great.



Unless you're an emo, then everything sucks.


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## LightPhoenix

Chances are, if you're emo, you just want to be deleted anyway.


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## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> You should really look into getting one of those. I hear its great.




Hey, we haves lives.  ENWORLD is our lives.  Weeee!

Man, I like this absorbing of pointless threads into sorta meaningful or at least interesting discussions.


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## Joker

Oooh, a new ignoring thread...


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## Aeson

Joker said:
			
		

> Oooh, a new ignoring thread...



You failed to ignore. Take 3 points Con damage.


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## gamecat

Nyaricus said:
			
		

> Unless you're an emo, then everything sucks.



How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


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## Aurora

gamecat said:
			
		

> How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



ugh, I don't know. How many?


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## Aeson

gamecat said:
			
		

> How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



I don't know. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


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## Jdvn1

gamecat said:
			
		

> How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



 One to hold it, and the world revolves around him?

No Jdvn1 here.


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## Aeson

Let's turn this in to the ENWorld comedy corner. Everyone hit us with your best joke. Doesn't have to be original.


Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?











A: None. It's a hardware problem.


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## Heckler

You know what a Freudian slip is, don't you?

Its where you say one thing but mean your mother.

I mean...another.


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## Aeson

With a name like Heckler you should have some good ones, so what happened? Is that the best you can do? My grandmother tells better jokes and she's dead.


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## Aeson

Actually I thought it was funny.


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## Heckler

Let's just say grandma wouldn't like a lot of my jokes.  

And just because I'm a heckler doesn't mean I'm any good at it.  

"A man walks into a bar.

Ouch!"


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## Aurora

A woman was in her front yard mowing grass when her attractive blond male neighbor came out of his house and went straight to the mailbox.


He opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.


A little later he came out of his house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went.


As the woman was getting ready to edge the lawn, he came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.


Puzzled by his actions the woman asked him, "Is something wrong?"


To which he replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."


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## gamecat

gamecat said:
			
		

> How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



Zero! They all just sit in the dark and cry.


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## Aurora

gamecat said:
			
		

> Zero! They all just sit in the dark and cry.



Nice one!


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## Nyaricus

Aeson said:
			
		

> How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



*rolls up sleeves*

Three. One to unscrew the old one, one to screw in the new one, and a third to write a sad poem about how he misses the original 

(I tell that one all the time )

cheers,
--N


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## dragonhead

A Blond is driving down a street and sticks her head out the window, tounge flaping in the wind......  

Cricket
Cricket

Ba dum dum ching!


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## dragonhead

A blonde teenager is trying to run a painters buissnes, so he goes to the house down the street. he askes if he wants anything painted. the guy told the teen to paint his porch. 1 hour later the kid knocks on the door covered with paint. he told the man he was done. the guy said that was fast and paid him $50 dollors. while leaving, the teen told the guy that it wasnt a porch, it was a ferrari.


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## Aeson

That is one dead kid. 


Pick up line for a guy "I'll give you a night you won't forget."

Pickup line for a guy with roofies "I'll give you a night you won't remember."


I know it was awful.


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## Aurora

That *is* awful!
Although, I have heard a couple bad pickup lines in my time......


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> That *is* awful!
> Although, I have heard a couple bad pickup lines in my time......



I was coming up with the lines as I  drove into work this morning. I also had one for Pedophiles but thought I shouldn't post it.


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> I was coming up with the lines as I  drove into work this morning. I also had one for Pedophiles but thought I shouldn't post it.



Probably better if you don't. 

So, you were coming up with _cheesy_ pick-up lines on your way to work, eh?  
Some girl you gonna use them on? Glutton for punishment?


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Probably better if you don't.
> 
> So, you were coming up with _cheesy_ pick-up lines on your way to work, eh?
> Some girl you gonna use them on? Glutton for punishment?



Thought I would try them on you.... kidding.

No it was more of the odd things I think of when I'm bored. I'm to shy to try pick-up lines on women. I couldn't think of a joke so I thought I would try a pick-up line


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Thought I would try them on you.... kidding.



 Ones like that prolly wouldn't work on me. Plus, I am spoken for so that makes the DC higher  

The worst pick-up line I ever got.....I can't put here, as it is rather dirty, but the guy used it on another girl I know, and she married him. So, I guess lines work on some women and not others  That, or I just have more ranks in sense motive. Or maybe she took pity on him....although we both laughed at him so who knows.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Ones like that prolly wouldn't work on me. Plus, I am spoken for so that makes the DC higher
> 
> The worst pick-up line I ever got.....I can't put here, as it is rather dirty, but the guy used it on another girl I know, and she married him. So, I guess lines work on some women and not others  That, or I just have more ranks in sense motive. Or maybe she took pity on him....although we both laughed at him so who knows.




All of the good ones are either gay or married. That statement works for both genders. 

If she married him then it was something besides the pick-up line. It wasn't "Nice shoes wanna f$%^?" was it?


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> All of the good ones are either gay or married. That statement works for both genders.
> 
> If she married him then it was something besides the pick-up line. It wasn't "Nice shoes wanna f$%^?" was it?




Considering 50% of marriages end in divorce, I wouldn't say that is entirely true.....

No, it was the statement "It's not gonna s**k itself" while motioning to his crotch. I laughed at him. I hear she laughed at him too and responded with "it had better!" Of course they started dating the next week.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Considering 50% of marriages end in divorce, I wouldn't say that is entirely true.....
> 
> No, it was the statement "It's not gonna s**k itself" while motioning to his crotch. I laughed at him. I hear she laughed at him too and responded with "it had better!" Of course they started dating the next week.




I hear them say that on TV all the time. 

That is a line I haven't heard before. I like her response. Sounds sassy.


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## Aurora

She is quite sassy. She and I have a great time when we get a chance to hang out. The whole situation is a little wierd though.....


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## Dannyalcatraz

Joke: A *CENSORED*, a *CENSORED* and a *CENSORED* walk into the US Congress, and the *CENSORED* says to the *CENSORED* "Hey! Look at the *CENSORED* on that *CENSORED*!"  The *CENSORED* responds "Quiet!  Don't you know the NSA is listening in to everything we're saying?"  The *CENSORED* then says to the others "Big *CENSORED* deal- my *CENSORED* *CENSORED* does that anyway, while *CENSORED*!"  They look at him in amazement and ask "And Brett Fahvre too?"


(PS: That joke works equally well with Salvador Dali or Vlad Tepes.)

Pickup Line: "Hey- does that thing have a Hemi? Sweeet!"  (I live in Texas)


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## Aurora

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Pickup Line: "Hey- does that thing have a Hemi? Sweeet!"  (I live in Texas)



Wow. Please tell me you haven't seriously heard that one used. I have a couple guy friends that are so terrible at picking up women that I could see something like that coming out of their mouths. I think if that were used on me, my first reaction would be shock and then after that wore off I wouldn't be able to laugh because I would feel so sorry for him....and then after he walked away because of my inability to speak, I would bust out laughing.


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## Aeson

They talk about these cheesy lines on TV but I don't think I've heard any actually use one. Then again I don't go out very often so I might be missing it. 


Hear about the woman who married three different Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?

Her first husband was in Training, and he kept teaching her how to do it herself.

The second one was in Sales, and he kept telling her how good it was going to be in the next release.

The third was in Tech Support, and he kept saying, "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now..."


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## Dannyalcatraz

> Pickup Line: "Hey- does that thing have a Hemi? Sweeet!" (I live in Texas)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wow. Please tell me you haven't seriously heard that one used.
Click to expand...



Nah- it just occured to me it could be used as a pickup line down here- cheesy though it is- since TX is the pickup center of the universe.



> I have a couple guy friends that are so terrible at picking up women that I could see something like that coming out of their mouths.




I'm simply awful, but even _I_ couldn't justify that one except in jest...as in at a table with other guys drinking and checking out women and coming up with all kinds of awful double-entendres that we would never use, but nevertheless find hilariously amusing.

Trust me- never ask a group of guys about the "Got milk?" ads, Hostess Cupcakes and the like.

On second thought, just don't talk to us at all- we're _disgusting._



> I think if that were used on me, my first reaction would be shock and then after that wore off I wouldn't be able to laugh because I would feel so sorry for him....and then after he walked away because of my inability to speak, I would bust out laughing.




Hey! That's just because you don't have a dualie with a mesh tailgate!  I wouldn't be surprised if someone around here thought it was "cute."

Probably some rose with a thorn, looking for a cowboy singing a sad, sad song. :\


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## megamania

Poison.  great band for the time period.


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## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> They talk about these cheesy lines on TV but I don't think I've heard any actually use one. Then again I don't go out very often so I might be missing it.
> 
> 
> Hear about the woman who married three different Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
> 
> Her first husband was in Training, and he kept teaching her how to do it herself.
> 
> The second one was in Sales, and he kept telling her how good it was going to be in the next release.
> 
> The third was in Tech Support, and he kept saying, "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now..."




LOL


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## megamania

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Joke: A *CENSORED*, a *CENSORED* and a *CENSORED* walk into the US Congress, and the *CENSORED* says to the *CENSORED* "Hey! Look at the *CENSORED* on that *CENSORED*!"  The *CENSORED* responds "Quiet!  Don't you know the NSA is listening in to everything we're saying?"  The *CENSORED* then says to the others "Big *CENSORED* deal- my *CENSORED* *CENSORED* does that anyway, while *CENSORED*!"  They look at him in amazement and ask "And Brett Fahvre too?"
> 
> 
> (PS: That joke works equally well with Salvador Dali or Vlad Tepes.)
> 
> Pickup Line: "Hey- does that thing have a Hemi? Sweeet!"  (I live in Texas)




A locale radio station did that using political speeches.   Very Funny


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## Dannyalcatraz

> I'm simply awful, but even I couldn't justify that one except in jest...as in at a table with other guys drinking and checking out women and coming up with all kinds of awful double-entendres that we would never use, but nevertheless find hilariously amusing.




A sample of one such conversation a few years ago when one of us spotted a cutie...

"Hey...over there- Jiggly-puff!"
"Mmmm...Chicka-chew!"
"Squirtle."


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## Aurora

Since Aeson posted a similar joke. Hopefully I won't get in trouble for this one.....

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin 
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. 

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." 

"What?" said the puzzled groom. 

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?" 

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. 

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. 

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. 

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. 

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. 

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. 

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. 

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. 

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. 

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" 

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" 

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"


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## Aurora

*This one cracked me up*

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bi#^&es who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bi#^&es who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." 

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." 

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." 

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bi#^&h in the kitchen."


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## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bi#^&h in the kitchen."




That kid is SOOOO in trouble now.


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## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"




LOL!


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## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bi#^&h in the kitchen."




LOL!   Too much


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## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> That kid is SOOOO in trouble now.




That kid was me only I would think it- I would dare to say that!


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## dragonhead

Aurora said:
			
		

> "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"




LMAO!!!!!!


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## Dog Moon

Ooh!  Ooh!  I have a joke.

What kind of frog can jump higher than a telephone pole?

[Okay, it might be lame, but I got it from the back of an oatmeal pouch, so what do you expect?]


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## Jdvn1

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Ooh!  Ooh!  I have a joke.
> 
> What kind of frog can jump higher than a telephone pole?
> 
> [Okay, it might be lame, but I got it from the back of an oatmeal pouch, so what do you expect?]



 ... I'm speechless.


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## Aurora

"I have CDO. That's _Obsessive Compulsive Disorder_, except in alphabetical order - the way it should be."


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## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> What kind of frog can jump higher than a telephone pole?



I don't know, what kind of frog can jump higher than a telephone pole?


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## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> I don't know, what kind of frog can jump higher than a telephone pole?




All of them.  Telephone poles can't jump.


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## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> All of them.  Telephone poles can't jump.



Oh you and your clever joke.


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## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Oh you and your clever joke.




Actually, it's OATMEAL and THEIR clever joke.  I'm sure if I eat oatmeal for breakfast tomorrow I can post another lame awesome joke.


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## Mycanid

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> All of them.  Telephone poles can't jump.




Sigh..... :\ 

I'll retire to Bedlam....


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## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Actually, it's OATMEAL and THEIR clever joke.



ROFL. This caught me off guard. You are too funny.


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## Jdvn1

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> All of them.  Telephone poles can't jump.



 And if I found an Awakened Telephone Pole, and slapped on a template that made it jump?


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## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> ROFL. This caught me off guard. You are too funny.




  I try.  And I do have the rest of the box to spread the funny.


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## Aeson

What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?

This was on a popsicle stick.


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?
> 
> This was on a popsicle stick.



Well, what kind?


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## Aurora

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said. "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger. He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then" ......





he sighed....................





"let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."




I love blonde jokes.


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## Dog Moon

As soon as you said Tiger, I knew EXACTLY what the problem was.


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## Dannyalcatraz

Obviously, the boyfriend was not an artist...

I would have crushed the flakes, applied some glue on a firm substrate in a tiger shape and sprinkled the flakes onto the glue.

Then I would have used a marker to make stripes.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Well, what kind?



A nightmare.

or did you mean the Popsicle? It was cherry.


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## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Obviously, the boyfriend was not an artist...
> 
> I would have crushed the flakes, applied some glue on a firm substrate in a tiger shape and sprinkled the flakes onto the glue.
> 
> Then I would have used a marker to make stripes.





I would put the Frosted Flakes in my Matter Retranscombobulator 3000. It would have turned the flakes into a completed puzzle.


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> A nightmare.
> 
> or did you mean the Popsicle? It was cherry.




Mmmmmmm cherry popsicles.....
I am glad that that is the answer to the riddle. The answer I came up with was more on the PG-13 side, and I couldn't imagine a company putting it on a popsicle stick. Unless you buy your groceries at an _adult_ grocery store.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Mmmmmmm cherry popsicles.....
> I am glad that that is the answer to the riddle. The answer I came up with was more on the PG-13 side, and I couldn't imagine a company putting it on a popsicle stick. Unless you buy your groceries at an _adult_ grocery store.



PG-13 is allowed here. What did you have in mind?


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> PG-13 is allowed here. What did you have in mind?



A _Trojan_ horse.
Doesn't make quite as much sense as a night_mare_. 
Can you imagine some kid eating his popsicle and then saying  "Mom, why would you ride a _Trojan_ all night?"


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> A _Trojan_ horse.
> Doesn't make quite as much sense as a night_mare_.
> Can you imagine some kid eating his popsicle and then saying  "Mom, why would you ride a _Trojan_ all night?"




ROFL

 Her response "Ask your father".


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> ROFL
> 
> Her response "Ask your father".



LOL. Isn't that the truth.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> LOL. Isn't that the truth.



What would your answer be if you kid asked that question?


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## Aurora

She's not even 2, I don't have to think about answers to those types of questions yet.  _Thank god....._


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## Aurora

How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

There's white-out on the screen.


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## Aurora

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" 

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.


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## Aeson

Q: Why do blondes take the pill? 















A: So they know what day of the week it is.


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## Aurora

I have heard so many blonde jokes. They all crack me up.


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## Aeson

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?












A: She was run over by the zambonis machine
(note: for you REAL blondes out there that is the machine that makes ice in the ice-skating rinks!).


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## Aeson

10 signs a redneck was on a computer

1) The monitor is up on blocks. 

2) Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 

3) The six front keys have rotted out. 

4) The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them. 

5) The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 

6) The password is "Bubba". 

7) The CPU has a gun rack mount. 

8) There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 

9) The keyboard is camouflaged. 

10) The mouse is referred to as a "critter".


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## Dog Moon

Wow, a redneck joke.  I thought those had died a long time ago.


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## Dannyalcatraz

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?

A:  Only 1- all the rest are true stories.


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## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Wow, a redneck joke.  I thought those had died a long time ago.



Nah, if you beat a dead horse long enough, it gets funny again.


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## dragonhead

you might be a red neck if your family tree is a family stick


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## dragonhead

you might be a red neck if you use the bed of your pick up truk as a swiming pool


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## dragonhead

you might be a red neck if you go to family gatherings to get a date.


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## dragonhead

and they just get worse from there


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## Aeson

I started a redneck landslide.


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## dragonhead

2 bondes walks in to a bar and asks the bar tender for 6 beers. when the bartender brought them out, the blondes took a drink and started chanting "27 days, 27 days" later 3 more blondes came in, saw the other two, took a drink a precided to chant with the others. the bartender was curious bet thought better before going to see whats up. a little while later, a blonde walks in with a picture and sets it in the middle of the table, the table cheers and chant louder shouting "27 days, 27 days!!!" Couriosity got the better of him and the bartender walked over to se what the comotion was about. he looks at the picture and sees a completed cookie monster puzzle. he asked one of the blondes why they were chanting and the blonde said, "the box said 2-3 years, and we completed it in 27 days."


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## Aeson

A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"

The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.

As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"

The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."

The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."


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## Aeson

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think"
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Sure."
Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"
Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny; "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."


----------



## dragonhead

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Aeson

The website said they were kid jokes. I thought maybe they were kid friendly jokes. Boy did I think wrong.


----------



## Stormborn

Sigh, What did I start and how did I start it?

Oh well....

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever. 


What is a blonde's mating call?

"I am soooooo drunk!"

What is a brunette's mating call?

"All the blondes have left!"

What is a redhead's mating call?

"NEXT!"


----------



## Aurora

Aeson, all I can say is "Wow". LMAO


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Aeson, all I can say is "Wow". LMAO



Almost speechless. Nice.


----------



## Aurora

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.


----------



## Aurora

As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."

*** 

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"


----------



## Aeson

A Cub Scout troop was half an hour late to its den meeting. The den mother 
asked them severely, “Why are you so late?”
“Oh,” said one boy, “we were helping an old man cross the street.”
“That’s nice, but it shouldn’t make you half an hour late.”
“Well, you see,” said another boy, “he didn’t want to go.


----------



## Aeson

Question: "What proof do you have that Iraq has Weapons of Mass Destruction?"
Colin Powell: "We kept the receipts."


----------



## Aurora

Really bad pickup lines:

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock. 

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way. 

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Be unique and different, say yes. 

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine. (I've had this one used on me)

A woman who is tired of having a guy hit on her says, "Look ... I'm sorry, but I'm just not your type. I'm not inflatable"


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine. (I've had this one used on me)



Yeah it's 1-800-438-5678 (1-800-GET-LOST)


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Yeah it's 1-800-438-5678 (1-800-GET-LOST)



LOL. Nice.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> LOL. Nice.



I was sitting here with the phone ok...g....6..e.....3 and so forth. It took less time coming up with it than it did to type it out.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> I was sitting here with the phone ok...g....6..e.....3 and so forth. It took less time coming up with it than it did to type it out.



LOL. I had a friend in HS who had some phone number to a local church's "scripture-a-day" recording. She used to give out _that_ as her phone number. LOL. Personally, I never had any problem just saying that I had a boyfriend.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> LOL. I had a friend in HS who had some phone number to a local church's "scripture-a-day" recording. She used to give out _that_ as her phone number. LOL. Personally, I never had any problem just saying that I had a boyfriend.



That is a good number to give out.

Give them your boyfriend's number.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> That is a good number to give out.
> 
> Give them your boyfriend's number.



Giving out my boyfriend's phone number could backfire. You know, if someone ever called me on that lie in front of my husband.


----------



## Aurora

WHat women really mean when they say something:

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
We need = I want
It's your decision  = the correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = you'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
I'll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes & find a good game on tv
You have to learn to communicate = just agree with me


----------



## JonnyFive

*looks around* oooo a new hive area? 

the pickup line i used on my wife "nice combat boots, want a massage?"


----------



## Aeson

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> *looks around* oooo a new hive area?
> 
> the pickup line i used on my wife "nice combat boots, want a massage?"



I think that line is a variant of a not so grandma friendly one.

The hivemind is really like the Borg. We assimilate other threads into the collective.


----------



## Aurora

I was thinking we are more of a cult.


----------



## Joker

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> *looks around* oooo a new hive area?




Nah, it's just two posters flirting .


----------



## Dog Moon

Joker said:
			
		

> Nah, it's just two posters flirting .




Except for someone else occasionally jumping in and saying something, like us.


----------



## Aurora

Nice


----------



## Aurora

An Elf, Human, and Dwarf order a beer. When the beer arrives, a fly lands in each one.

The Elf shoves the beer away in disdain.

The Human flicks the fly away and drinks the beer.

The Dwarf picks the fly up by the wings, holding it over his glass and screams, "Spit it all out you little *******!"


----------



## Aeson

Joker said:
			
		

> Nah, it's just two posters flirting .



Who's flirting? Dog Moon and Jonny?


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Who's flirting? Dog Moon and Jonny?




What the...?  Wrong!


----------



## megamania

So what if two people are flirting here


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> Who's flirting? Dog Moon and Jonny?




heh.    ah nope.


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> An Elf, Human, and Dwarf order a beer. When the beer arrives, a fly lands in each one.
> 
> The Elf shoves the beer away in disdain.
> 
> The Human flicks the fly away and drinks the beer.
> 
> The Dwarf picks the fly up by the wings, holding it over his glass and screams, "Spit it all out you little *******!"




Sounds about right


----------



## Aeson

megamania said:
			
		

> So what if two people are flirting here



Nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting. Has anyone told you what beautiful eyes you have, mega?


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting. Has anyone told you what beautiful *yes* you have, mega?




He has beautiful 'yes'?  Not sure I've ever heard of that part of the human anatomy.


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> He has beautiful '*eyes*'?  Not sure I've ever heard of that part of the human anatomy.



Fixed it. 
I was typing in a hurry. I do that sometimes. It's a pain chatting on a message board while playing a PC game.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Fixed it.
> I was typing in a hurry. I do that sometimes. It's a pain chatting on a message board while playing a PC game.




What PC game?


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> What PC game?



I don't think you've heard of it. It's called World of Warcraft. It's a lot of fun but it will eat you soul.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> I don't think you've heard of it. It's called World of Warcraft. It's a lot of fun but it will eat you soul.




World of Warcraft?  You actually have time to play on EnWorld?  I'm impressed.


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> World of Warcraft?  You actually have time to play on EnWorld?  I'm impressed.



Right now my Shaman is fighting a turtle. I'm farming leather and turtle scales. Sounds like fun don't it?

My highest level character, a warrior just got attuned to one the high level dungeons. The Molten Core.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> What PC game?



What PC game?  As if he doesn't talk about it enough.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> What PC game?  As if he doesn't talk about it enough.



I actually don't talk about it that much. It's more interesting than my D&D game.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> I actually don't talk about it that much. It's more interesting than my D&D game.



It happens more often than your D&D game 

Speaking of D&D, it's time to game!


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> It happens more often than your D&D game
> 
> Speaking of D&D, it's time to game!




That is true. I do play it more than D&D but that isn't my fault. My group can only play once a month.

Sure rub it in. I don't get to play for another two weeks


----------



## Aeson

A guy walks into a supermarket and buys the following items: 
1 toothbrush 
1 tube of toothpaste 
1 roll of toiletpaper 
1 frozen dinner 
1 can of pop 
1 box of cereal 
The woman behind the counter says, "so you are single huh?"
The man replies very sarcastically, "why would you guess that, because I am buying 1 of everything?"
The woman replies, "no, because you are ugly."


----------



## Aeson

Q: What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is? 

A: An insurance company.


----------



## Aeson

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. 
The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes." 
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.
He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." 
Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him.
He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." 
Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates


----------



## Wereserpent

I refuse to post in this thread.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> I refuse to post in this thread.



I refuse to reply to your nonpost.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aeson said:
			
		

> I refuse to reply to your nonpost.




I refuse to acknowledge your reply to my nonpost.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> I refuse to acknowledge your reply to my nonpost.



Very well. "Nice combat boots. Want a massage?"


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Very well. "Nice combat boots. Want a massage?"




Woah.  Aeson's flirting with like EVERYONE now.


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Woah.  Aeson's flirting with like EVERYONE now.



Sup. How you doing?


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Sup. How you doing?




*runs away screaming with his hands flailing in the air*


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> *runs away screaming with his hands flailing in the air*



Wait come back. Don't worry I'm not into dudes.


----------



## Aurora

LOL You guys are cracking me up.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Wait come back. Don't worry I'm not into dudes.




*pauses, looks around, tiptoes forward, keeping a wary eye on Aeson*

Hey.


----------



## Aurora

Youre safe Dog Moon, I'm here now


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> Youre safe Dog Moon, I'm here now




Whew.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Whew.



It's your hot chick avatar. You know, the one I told you to switch back to. LOL It confuses people.   I still think you should keep it though.


----------



## Aurora

Durin Ironshield of the iron hills pays a visit to the Elven King of Mirkwood.

"Sir", says Durin, "We have decided to go to war with ye."

The elven king looks incredulous, but takes war seriously. "We? Who is this we?", he says sternly.

"Well, that would be me, me brother Thorin, his son Durin, our cousins Olin and Golin, and our pop Thrain."

"My good Dwarf, I have 1100 elves at my command that can be ready to move on a moment's notice.", says the king.

"Oh.", replies Durin. "Let me get back to ye on that."

The Dwarf leaves, but returns two days later.

"Ok king, I have rounded up two more cousins and we a few axes between us all."

"Sir Dwarf, I have 300 of the finest archers around, plus my royal guards are all spellsingers, armed with swords of sharpness."

"Oh, well, I see." The Dwarf lord thinks a bit. "Let me come back to ye."

And he leaves to return again in two days.

"Ok king, we have rounded up a few more swords and I think we are ready".

"You should know my good dwarf that I have since raised the size of my elven army to 1300."

"Ah hek!", and the dwarf leaves. He comes back the next day.

"Well king, I am afraid we have to call off the war."

"I am sorry to hear that. Was it the power of my elven army that changed your mind?"

"Nah, I spoke to all my kin and we decided that we just did not have the room for 1300 prisoners."


----------



## megamania

Galeros said:
			
		

> I refuse to post in this thread.




any reason why?


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> "Nah, I spoke to all my kin and we decided that we just did not have the room for 1300 prisoners."




You have the mindset of a dwarf down perfectly.


----------



## Aurora

megamania said:
			
		

> You have the mindset of a dwarf down perfectly.



I would like to take credit for that joke, but, alas, it is not mine.


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> I would like to take credit for that joke, but, alas, it is not mine.





Well its still funny I will undoubtably "borrow" it the next time the group hit a tavern.


----------



## JonnyFive

Aeson said:
			
		

> Very well. "Nice combat boots. Want a massage?"




HEY!! thats my line!


----------



## Jdvn1

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Except for someone else occasionally jumping in and saying something, like us.



 Wait, I'm confused. Like what?


----------



## Jdvn1

Galeros said:
			
		

> I refuse to post in this thread.



 I refuse to thread in your post.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Sigh...everyone stays away from my post...


----------



## JonnyFive

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Sigh...everyone stays away from my post...




i have a post, its made of wood. its nice


----------



## Aurora

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Sigh...everyone stays away from my post...



I don't. Wait....what don't I do?


----------



## Aurora

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> i have a post, its made of wood. its nice



LOL


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> LOL You guys are cracking me up.



That is our job. It's the joke thread after all.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> It's your hot chick avatar. You know, the one I told you to switch back to. LOL It confuses people.   I still think you should keep it though.



I wasn't confuse by the avatar, not since Fru made the mistake.


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Sigh...everyone stays away from my post...



Your post has cooties.


----------



## Aeson

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> HEY!! thats my line!



You post it in a public forum and it becomes public property.


----------



## JonnyFive

Aeson said:
			
		

> You post it in a public forum and it becomes public property.




NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!


.... fine, but you can't have my post!


----------



## Dog Moon

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> 
> .... fine, but you can't have my post!




It must be a fine post indeed.


----------



## Aeson

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> 
> .... fine, but you can't have my post!



No matter what you hear from Dog Moon, I'm not into posts.


----------



## JonnyFive

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> It must be a fine post indeed.




it is the best post ever!


----------



## JonnyFive

Aeson said:
			
		

> No matter what you hear from Dog Moon, I'm not into posts.




you know you want my post, your just trying to use oposit psycology on me!


----------



## Jdvn1

Aeson said:
			
		

> No matter what you hear from Dog Moon, I'm not into posts.



 Sounds like you're protesting a little too much...


----------



## Aurora

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> you know you want my post, your just trying to use oposit psycology on me!



Wow.


----------



## Aeson

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> Sounds like you're protesting a little too much...




I think I'm protesting the right amount.


----------



## Aeson

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> you know you want my post, your just trying to use oposit psycology on me!



No really, keep your post to yourself.


----------



## Aurora




----------



## JonnyFive

Aeson said:
			
		

> No really, keep your post to yourself.




MINE!!! you steal my lines, and i can see your greasy, popcorn buttered fingers reaching for my ever loving post! back i say! BACK!


----------



## Aeson

JonnyFive said:
			
		

> MINE!!! you steal my lines, and i can see your greasy, popcorn buttered fingers reaching for my ever loving post! back i say! BACK!



It's only stealing if it works. I don't think it did.


----------



## Aurora

*I'm* the one eating popcorn and watching the comedy that is this thread. Unless Aeson is stealing some of my popcorn.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> It's only stealing if it works. I don't think it did.



Are you guys fighting over "Nice combat boots, want a massage"?

It really is lame. You'd have a better shot with the non-grandma friendly version because at least she might think you are witty. Sense of humor goes a long way with chicks. I should know.


----------



## Aurora

The lamest one I ever got was "Has anyone ever told you, you have really nice skin?" I just smiled and said "Yes, actually they have." I guess I embaressed him, or it took all of his courage to come over and talk to me because he walked away and next thing I knew his buddy is over pleading his case for him. I wasn't mean though. At least _I_ don't think I was. I didn't laugh when I said it, I just smiled.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Are you guys fighting over "Nice combat boots, want a massage"?
> 
> It really is lame. You'd have a better shot with the non-grandma friendly version because at least she might think you are witty. Sense of humor goes a long way with chicks. I should know.



Not fighting. I'm a gamer not a fighter. 

I can be witty here but I never seem to be as funny in person.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> The lamest one I ever got was "Has anyone ever told you, you have really nice skin?" I just smiled and said "Yes, actually they have." I guess I embaressed him, or it took all of his courage to come over and talk to me because he walked away and next thing I knew his buddy is over pleading his case for him. I wasn't mean though. At least _I_ don't think I was. I didn't laugh when I said it, I just smiled.



I think he wasn't expecting the response. He had the answer as no and then he would say something clever back.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Not fighting. I'm a gamer not a fighter.
> 
> I can be witty here but I never seem to be as funny in person.



Over the internet you can formulate your response before opening your mouth. 
I can be quite funny in person. Especially when I get on a roll. I tend to tease people less though in person because I am somewhat non-confrontational.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Over the internet you can formulate your response before opening your mouth.
> I can be quite funny in person. Especially when I get on a roll. I tend to tease people less though in person because I am somewhat non-confrontational.



I tease a lot in person. Some folks think I'm mean because of it. I can be funny in person some times. I was told by one of the guys in my D&D group that I was good at bad jokes. 

Your right I often think about what I say before I respond. It still comes out misspelled and poorly stated.


----------



## dragonhead

Is it to late to watch this train wreck?


----------



## Wereserpent

DogMoon: ZOMG TEH REI!!!!1111!!11!!!

I am a guy btw.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> DogMoon: ZOMG TEH REI!!!!1111!!11!!!
> 
> I am a guy btw.



No more female avatars for men. 

It's cool. I was having fun. Please don't take my playful banter the wrong way. I saw a way to have some fun with Jonny.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aeson said:
			
		

> No more female avatars for men.
> 
> It's cool. I was having fun. Please don't take my playful banter the wrong way. I saw a way to have some fun with Jonny.




Haha, I wasn't referring to you.  It was just a general statement for everyone.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> Haha, I wasn't referring to you.  It was just a general statement for everyone.



I was accused of flirting with you. I guess I'm a little defensive.


----------



## dog45

So...jokes?

Why don't skeletons like scary movies?


----------



## Aeson

dog45 said:
			
		

> So...jokes?
> 
> Why don't skeletons like scary movies?



They're gutless or something like that.


----------



## dog45

..grumble...

yeah, that's it. okay, how about this:

Where do you find a turtle with no arms and no legs?


----------



## Aeson

dog45 said:
			
		

> ..grumble...
> 
> yeah, that's it. okay, how about this:
> 
> Where do you find a turtle with no arms and no legs?



In soup? At the animal special olympics? I don't know, where?


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> I wasn't confuse by the avatar, not since Fru made the mistake.




I vaguely remember that.  So you were confused BEFORE that then?


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> *I'm* the one eating popcorn and watching the comedy that is this thread. Unless Aeson is stealing some of my popcorn.




I'll nibble on the popcorn a little too, if that's okay, though by now it's probably cold and the show over.


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> DogMoon: ZOMG TEH REI!!!!1111!!11!!!
> 
> I am a guy btw.




Are you the one who did that the first time I used this Avatar?


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

> Where do you find a turtle with no arms and no legs?




Right where you left him...and don't bother naming him, he won't come if you call...

Unless...


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> I vaguely remember that.  So you were confused BEFORE that then?



I will not answer that without my lawyer present.


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> I'll nibble on the popcorn a little too, if that's okay, though by now it's probably cold and the show over.



This show is never over but does show a lot of reruns. I'm not a big popcorn eater so I left some for ya.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

What kind of presents do you give your lawyer?  I'm a lawyer, and no one gives me presents!


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> What kind of presents do you give your lawyer?  I'm a lawyer, and no one gives me presents!



Jerk. No wonder your a lawyer.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Mmmmm...Jerk!  I love jerk..

That's _chicken_, you pervs!


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Mmmmm...Jerk!  I love jerk..
> 
> That's _chicken_, you pervs!




Why are you calling us pervs? Your the one that says he likes to jerk his chicken.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

No!  I said I like jerk chicken...but I don't know how to make it.

I guess I like it when others jerk the chicken...
_
wait...that's still not right..._

I only eat chicken jerked by others...
_
ummm...no..._

I like jamaican food?


----------



## Wereserpent

I jerk my chicken....man, that never does come out right.


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> No!  I said I like jerk chicken...but I don't know how to make it.
> 
> I guess I like it when others jerk the chicken...
> _
> wait...that's still not right..._
> 
> I only eat chicken jerked by others...
> _
> ummm...no..._
> 
> I like jamaican food?




Man, I totally need a remote for this movie so we can fast forward to the good parts.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> I'll nibble on the popcorn a little too, if that's okay, though by now it's probably cold and the show over.



I am always willing to share.   
With us around, I don't think the show will ever _really_ be over. It may get a few long drawn out parts that on replay you think "I'll just fast-forward through this", but that's about it.

Edit: Okay, I totally didn't see your post above me Dog Moon before I wrote this one. Too funny that we would both reference remotes.


----------



## Aurora

I don't know if I have ever had Jamaican food.....I have never been to Jamaica either. I have been to tthe Bahamas, but that's not the same.


----------



## Aurora

Damn, I go shopping for a few hours and I come back and you guys have all kinds of fun without me! I'm never leaving my computer again. LOL


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> Edit: Okay, I totally didn't see your post anove me Dog Moon before I wrote this one. Too funny that we would both reference remotes.




Great minds think alike.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Great minds think alike.



True. Very true.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> Damn, I go shopping for a few hours and I come back and you guys have all kinds of fun without me! I'm never leaving my computer again. LOL




Hehe.  That's why in these threads I come home and respond to like three different things in a single thread so there's three posts by me in a row.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Hehe.  That's why in these threads I come home and respond to like three different things in a single thread so there's three posts by me in a row.



DId you notice that's what I did? Great minds once again


----------



## Wereserpent

Dog Moon: ZOMG TEH REI!!!!1111!!!11!!!

Holy **** its Fistandantilus, get in the car!!!


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> Dog Moon: ZOMG TEH REI!!!!1111!!!11!!!
> 
> Holy **** its Fistandantilus, get in the car!!!



OK, I am so lost.......quit having private conversations on open message boards! LOL


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> DId you notice that's what I did? Great minds once again




Creepy.


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> Dog Moon: ZOMG TEH REI!!!!1111!!!11!!!




ZOMG, it's the ZOMG TEH REI!!!!1111!!!11!!! post again!!!!1111!!!11!!!


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Creepy.



No you are.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> OK, I am so lost.......quit having private conversations on open message boards! LOL





Dog Moon: ZOMG TEH REI!!!!111111!!!!11!!

Anyways, the Fistandantilus thing was just random.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> No you are.




Hey, I never called YOU creepy.  That's mean...


----------



## Aurora

I am gonna make up my own wierd language......and.....and....not teach to anyone.....wait that would be dumb.


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Right where you left him...and don't bother naming him, he won't come if you call...
> 
> Unless...




Unless what?


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Hey, I never called YOU creepy.  That's mean...



I was just kidding *mwah*


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> I am gonna make up my own wierd language......and.....and....not teach to anyone.....wait that would be dumb.




Kigt garkt kalckm.


----------



## Wereserpent

*Eats Sour Cream*


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> I was just kidding *mwah*




Whew.  Feel much better.


----------



## Wereserpent

*Grrrrrs at Dog Moon for posting at same time*


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Kigt garkt kalckm.



*stamps feet* 
I am gonna take my ball and go home. J/K


----------



## Wereserpent

I am going to take my ball and put it in a box.


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> I am going to take my ball and put it in a box.




I grab the ball and run away with it.  Wheee!


----------



## Wereserpent

I take it back and put it in my mouth.


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> I take it back and put it in my mouth.




I leave it alone now.  *walks away in sadness*


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> I take it back and put it in my mouth.



Oh.....it's _that_ kind of ball.......


On a side note:
This is my 666th post! Hooray!


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> Oh.....it's _that_ kind of ball.......




No longer sad.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> Oh.....it's _that_ kind of ball.......
> 
> 
> On a side note:
> This is my 666th post! Hooray!




NOOOOOO!!!!!
*World explodes*


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> On a side note:
> This is my 666th post! Hooray!




This is my 2445th post.  Yay!


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> NOOOOOO!!!!!
> *World explodes*



Oh honey, I 'm not the devil. I just work for him.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> Oh honey, I 'm not the devil. I just work for him.




So you are a Succubus?


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> So you are a Succubus?




Succubae are hot.


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> So you are a Succubus?



Nah, though my husband may try to tell you so.

When I die, I take over as bus driver. You know, the _bus to hell_. I'll be the one drivin' it baby.


----------



## Wereserpent

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Succubae are hot.





Totally, especially when they are taller and stronger than me.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Succubae are hot.



I don't know. The mini is pretty poorly painted.


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> Totally, especially when they are taller and stronger than me.



You _do_ like tall chicks don't you....LOL


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> I don't know. The mini is pretty poorly painted.




I am too poor to afford minis.


----------



## Aurora

In the last hour, we have added 40 posts to this thread!


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> In the last hour, we have added 40 posts to this thread!





Indeed.


----------



## Aeson

Heroes is on. Everyone be quite and watch it.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Heroes is on. Everyone be quite and watch it.



Damnit
*Aurora does what she is told for once*


----------



## Wereserpent

I have no interest in that show.


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> I have no interest in that show.



Really? I like it. Not as much as everyone else, but I do.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> Really? I like it. Not as much as everyone else, but I do.




I do not watch much TV now a days.  All I really watch is Trinity Blood and Bleach on Adult Swim on saturday nights.


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

Ibtl!


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> I do not watch much TV now a days.  All I really watch is Trinity Blood and Bleach on Adult Swim on saturday nights.



I watch Family Guy, Futurama, and the Venture Bros on Adult Swim. I have never even heard of those 2 shows!


----------



## Aurora

Olgar Shiverstone said:
			
		

> Ibtl!



WHat is ibtl?


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> I have no interest in that show.



I like superhero shows. I watched Mutant X and it was bad.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> I like superhero shows. I watched Mutant X and it was bad.




I watched it for a little while, then got tired of it.  Even with mutants, it wasn't good enough to keep my attention.


----------



## Aurora

I don;t even know what Mutant X is!


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> I don;t even know what Mutant X is!




That's fine.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> That's fine.



that bad, eh?


----------



## dog45

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Right where you left him...and don't bother naming him, he won't come if you call...




correct.

Did anyone just watch Heroes? I think it's a pretty cool show, but then i'd watch anything that portrays 'supers' as regular people. Ultimate daydream right there - be a super.

I think Hiro's got the best power (bending the space/time continuum).


----------



## Dog Moon

dog45 said:
			
		

> I think Hiro's got the best power (bending the space/time continuum).




Agreed, but I think that being able to learn uber fast like the diner girl would also be REALLY useful, something I would love to be able to do.  I mean dang, she learned Japanese in a single week.


----------



## dog45

Yeah, but that didn't help her from getting her skull chopped. Hopefully Hiro can save her.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Mutant X was loosely based on the X-Men (and related) comic books published by Marvel comics- check the credits, and you'll see they even advised on the show.

Unfortunately, while it was more realistic in the sense of nobody running around in skintights with a big yellow "X" on them, the storylines were pretty weak, and it wasn't particularly well acted.


----------



## megamania

and .... tah-daaaa.



everyone has left....again....


----------



## Aurora

megamania said:
			
		

> and .... tah-daaaa.
> 
> 
> 
> everyone has left....again....



I have not actually left! I am still here!


----------



## Aurora

All right, now I am leaving. 
I just realized I did like 45 posts today. _Damn, I have an ENWORLD addiction....._


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> I have not actually left! I am still here!




I'm here.  But only for the moment.  Need to go to sleep.  Why don't I feel tired?


----------



## Jdvn1

Aurora said:
			
		

> *I'm* the one eating popcorn and watching the comedy that is this thread. Unless Aeson is stealing some of my popcorn.





			
				Aurora said:
			
		

>



(munch)
Thanks for the popcorn!


----------



## Jdvn1

Aeson said:
			
		

> At the animal special olympics?



Funniest answer ever.


----------



## JonnyFive

this is what happens when i sleep... 2 friggin pages of hivers that i have to read through.... i think i need to get my hiver systems updated or something...


----------



## dragonhead

at least it is better then 5 pages of hivers trying to find the cognitive leaps made to get from magic items to jokes to pies.... wait those are aon different threads and they all say the same thing...


----------



## dragonhead

I guess it is time for these threads to be merged with the hive, it shoulc be an easy transition as i all dosent matter any way.  J/K


----------



## Wereserpent

Bwhahahahahahaha!!!!!


----------



## Aeson

Is it possible to merge the threads? I guess someone could post a reply to the posts in the 2 of the thread in the hive. That should join them.


----------



## Aurora

It'll never work. MOst of us don't have enough willpower to not post here. Even if we are still ignoring these threads.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> It'll never work. MOst of us don't have enough willpower to not post here. Even if we are still ignoring these threads.




Yeah, I am still ignoring this thread.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> Yeah, I am still ignoring this thread.



If the the thread was merged with the hivemind would you ignore it then? Besides this is the delete not the ignore thread.


----------



## Aurora

This is supposed to be the joke thread. Where's the jokes people!


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> This is supposed to be the joke thread. Where's the jokes people!



Why did the chicken cross the road?


----------



## megamania

AAAARRRRGH!





I can't keep up with the insanity!


Just got home and I gotta go already.......


----------



## Jdvn1

Aurora said:
			
		

> It'll never work. MOst of us don't have enough willpower to not post here. Even if we are still ignoring these threads.



 Will power?

Bwahahahaha!


----------



## Jdvn1

Aeson said:
			
		

> Why did the chicken cross the road?



 I'm afraid to ask.


----------



## Aeson

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> I'm afraid to ask.



I think you know I was going to use you in the answer.


----------



## Wereserpent

To get the sour cream.


----------



## Aeson

No, because Jdvn1 was chasing it yelling "I'm gonna eat ya." and "Get in my belly."


----------



## Jdvn1

Aeson said:
			
		

> No, because Jdvn1 was chasing it yelling "I'm gonna eat ya." and "Get in my belly."





But, Galeros has a point. Chicken is better with sour cream.


----------



## Aeson

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> But, Galeros has a point. Chicken is better with sour cream.



Everything is better with sour cream.


----------



## Aeson

I don't know why but I desire steak. I must have steak tonight. I will not rest until I have some steak. Have I said steak enough yet? Have I gotten my point across, I want steak?


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

(Misunderstanding, gives Aeson's home address to Van Helsing...)


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> (Misunderstanding, gives Aeson's home address to Van Helsing...)



You don't have my home address. Even if you did if it's the Hugh Jackman Van Helsing, I'm not worried.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

You just keep believing that fairy tale until the guy with the hammer and "poin-ted stick" shows up...


----------



## IcyCool

Aeson said:
			
		

> You don't have my home address. Even if you did if it's the Hugh Jackman Van Helsing, I'm not worried.




You will be once he's been singing "Oklahoma!" for a few hours in your kitchen...


----------



## Aeson

IcyCool said:
			
		

> You will be once he's been singing "Oklahoma!" for a few hours in your kitchen...



That is true. I would steak myself if he did that. I hate musicals.


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> You just keep believing that fairy tale until the guy with the hammer and "poin-ted stick" shows up...



So what's your point?


----------



## Aeson

Don't know why but I thought I would share. 

Fajitas on a Stick

1-1/4 lb. boneless top sirloin steak, cut 1" thick
1/3 cup prepared Italian dressing
3 tbsp. fresh lime juice
2 medium green or red bell peppers, quartered
2 medium onions, sliced
Salt
8 medium flour tortillas, warmed
Prepared salsa

1. Soak eight 9" bamboo skewers in enough water to cover 10 minutes; drain.

2. Trim fat from beef steak. Cut steak crosswise into 1/2" thick strips. Thread an equal amount of beef, weaving back and forth, onto each skewer.

3. In a small bowl, combine dressing and lime juice, mixing well; brush onto beef, peppers and onions.

4. Place vegetables on grid over medium, ash-covered coals; grill peppers, uncovered, 12 to 15 minutes and onions 15 to 20 minutes or until tender, turning both once. Approximately 10 minutes before vegetables are done, move vegetables to outer edge of grid. Place beef in center of grid; grill 8 to 10 minutes for medium rare to medium doneness, turning once.

5. Season beef with salt, as desired; remove beef from skewers. Serve beef and vegetables in tortillas with salsa. Makes 4 servings


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

I think _this_ recipe explains a lot:

Vegeta on a Stick

1-1/4 lb. thoroughly pummeled Super Saiyan, cut 1" thick
1/3 cup prepared Italian dressing
3 tbsp. fresh Goku juice
2 medium green or red bell peppers, quartered
2 medium DragonballZ, sliced
Salt
8 medium flour tortillas, warmed
Prepared salsa

1. Soak eight 9" bamboo skewers in enough water to cover 10 minutes; drain.

2. Trim fat from Super Saiyan. Cut crosswise into 1/2" thick strips. Thread an equal amount of Saiyan, weaving back and forth, onto each skewer.

3. In a small bowl, combine dressing and Goku juice, mixing well; brush onto Saiyan, peppers and DragonballZ.

4. Place vegetables on grid over medium, ash-covered coals; grill peppers, uncovered, 12 to 15 minutes and DragonballZ 15 to 20 minutes or until tender, turning both once. Approximately 10 minutes before vegetables are done, move vegetables to outer edge of grid. Place Saiyan in center of grid; grill 8 to 10 minutes for medium rare to medium doneness, turning once.

5. Season Saiyan with salt, as desired; remove beef from skewers. Serve Saiyan and vegetables in tortillas with salsa. Makes 4 servings


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Everything is better with sour cream.




Wrong!


----------



## Aurora

I'll take Hugh Jackman in my kitchen, even if he is singing


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> I'll take Hugh Jackman in my kitchen, even if he is singing



You can have him. I'll take Kate.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Which one?

Kate Jackson?

Kate, the female lead in Taming of the Shrew?

Kate Beckensale?

Kate Astrophe?


----------



## Dog Moon

Kate Moss!


----------



## Jdvn1

Aeson said:
			
		

> Everything is better with sour cream.



 I'll have my soda as-is, thankyouverymuch.


----------



## Wereserpent

I ate a baked potatoe with sour cream tonight.


----------



## Dog Moon

Eating cereal.  WITHOUT sour cream.


----------



## Wereserpent

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Eating cereal.  WITHOUT sour cream.





You should eat it with sour cream.  That would make it superior to your Brand X cereal.


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> You should eat it with sour cream.  That would make it inferior to your Brand X cereal.




Changed that for ya.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Kate Moss!



*groans* No, she's gross.


----------



## Aurora

You guys are cracking me up with the sour cream thing.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> *groans* No, she's gross.




Nowhere near as gross as sour cream!


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Nowhere near as gross as sour cream!



I thought you kind of liked sour cream?!!! Just not on everything and in large quantities....like Galeros.


----------



## ssampier

*dog pile*

Kate Moss + Sour Cream

= ?


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> I thought you kind of liked sour cream?!!! Just not on everything and in large quantities....like Galeros.




I do, but I prefer to take the stance of someone who can't stand it at all.

Hrm, sour cream on Kate Moss might not be too bad.  

[although chocolate is probably better]


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> I do, but I prefer to take the stance of someone who can't stand it at all.
> 
> Hrm, sour cream on Kate Moss might not be too bad.
> 
> [although chocolate is probably better]



whipped cream is better for such games.


----------



## Dog Moon

ssampier said:
			
		

> Kate Moss + Sour Cream
> 
> = ?




Haha, I'm not the only one who thought this.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Kate Moss + Sour Cream = Creamy Moss


----------



## Aurora

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Kate Moss + Sour Cream = Creamy Moss



Ewwwww


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Kate Moss + Sour Cream = Creamy Moss




Or Kate Cream.  Could sell it in bottles.  "Now, you can rub a little bit of Kate on your skin."


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Or *Kate Cream*.  Could sell it in bottles.  "Now, you can rub a little bit of Kate on your skin."



Um, maybe my mind is just in the gutter, but that sounds gross.....


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

"What do you put _your_ Kate Cream on?"


----------



## Aurora

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> "What do you put _your_ Kate Cream on?"



somebody hold my hair........


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> Um, maybe my mind is just in the gutter, but that sounds gross.....




That's the slightly more expensive 'special' brand.


----------



## Jdvn1

ssampier said:
			
		

> Kate Moss + Sour Cream
> 
> = ?








 + 




=


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Nice!

(although I'm pretty sure she weighs less than the lamp...)


----------



## Jdvn1

That was the first thing to come up in Google Images with "kate cream."


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> Um, maybe my mind is just in the gutter, but that sounds gross.....




now my mind is in the gutter.   I swear- girls are the worst.


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> somebody hold my hair........




The imagery is ... preplexing and ... EDITED


----------



## megamania

I never understood what folks saw in her.    I need something to hold onto.   To hug her would be like hugging a rope and that is silly!


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> This is supposed to be the joke thread. Where's the jokes people!




The thread itself is a joke


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> I'll take Hugh Jackman in my kitchen, even if he is singing




perv


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> whipped cream is better for such games.




yeah but everything gets really sticky by the morning.


----------



## megamania

This is not helping me with my writer's block.....


----------



## megamania

Galeros said:
			
		

> Bwhahahahahahaha!!!!!





look out-   another Hiver is about to lose it!


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Which one?
> 
> Kate Jackson?
> 
> Kate, the female lead in Taming of the Shrew?
> 
> Kate Beckensale?
> 
> Kate Astrophe?



Katie Holmes, Kate Winslet any of them will do really.


----------



## Wereserpent

Sour Cream is good with people.


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> yeah but everything gets really sticky by the morning.




That's why you then take a shower together to continue the enjoyment.


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> Sour Cream is good with people.




Wait, what?  PEOPLE?  I don't think you should be eating people with your sour cream.


----------



## Wereserpent

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Wait, what?  PEOPLE?  I don't think you should be eating people with your sour cream.





Why not?


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> Why not?




It's the whole eating people thing...

Icky.


----------



## Wereserpent

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> It's the whole eating people thing...
> 
> Icky.





But they are so yummy!  I like looking into their eyes as I eat them.


----------



## Aeson

I don't understand the opposition to eating people. Humans will eat almost anything. If I'm stuck on a snow covered mountain and the only way to survive is to eat the guy next to me and where his skin as a hat then by George I'll do just that.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aeson said:
			
		

> I don't understand the opposition to eating people. Humans will eat almost anything. If I'm stuck on a snow covered mountain and the only way to survive is to eat the guy next to me and where his skin as a hat then by George I'll do just that.




Yup.


----------



## dragonhead

Survival of the fitest.


----------



## dragonhead

and i wonder what creamy moss would taste like?


----------



## Aeson

dragonhead said:
			
		

> and i wonder what creamy moss would taste like?



creamed spinach.


----------



## JonnyFive

Aeson said:
			
		

> I don't understand the opposition to eating people. Humans will eat almost anything. If I'm stuck on a snow covered mountain and the only way to survive is to eat the guy next to me and where his skin as a hat then by George I'll do just that.




supposidly, human is a very sweet meat.... course i havent found a resteraunt around here that serves human yet.....


----------



## Aurora

megamania said:
			
		

> now my mind is in the gutter.   I swear- girls are the worst.



Yes, yes we are


----------



## Aurora

This thread has quickly gone downhill, and I think I am partly to blame.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> This thread has quickly gone downhill, and I think I am partly to blame.



Your wholly to blame. I'm firing up the torch and grabbing my pitchfork as we speak.


----------



## megamania

yup yup yup!


----------



## JonnyFive

*sigh* between sleep and work, i cannot seem to keep up.... i need my hive status reset.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Your wholly to blame. I'm firing up the torch and grabbing my pitchfork as we speak.



you have a long drive ahead of you, your torch isn't going to last.


----------



## Jdvn1

Galeros said:
			
		

> Sour Cream is good with people.



 We gotta wean you off of that. Have you heard of hufu?

EDIT: that may not work, so
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufu


----------



## IcyCool

Galeros said:
			
		

> Sour Cream is good with people.




I hear sour cream goes well with soylent green...


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> you have a long drive ahead of you, your torch isn't going to last.



I've been to Ohio I know how far it is. I have an ever burning torch. 



Have you seen the church on I-75 that has the giant Jesus statue? I think that's what it is. On the other side of the highway is a huge cross. I liked those no speed limit roads they have out in the country there. Never seen so much corn in my life.


----------



## Aeson

IcyCool said:
			
		

> I hear sour cream goes well with soylent green...



Soylent green is people.


----------



## IcyCool

Aeson said:
			
		

> Soylent green is people.




Noooooooo!


----------



## Wereserpent

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> We gotta wean you off of that. Have you heard of hufu?
> 
> EDIT: that may not work, so
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufu




That stuff is never as good as the real thing.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> That stuff is never as good as the real thing.



Not enough spite. Needs a few years of apathy to season it.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aeson said:
			
		

> Not enough spite. Needs a few years of apathy to season it.





Nah, the ones that were happy are the best ones.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> Nah, the ones that were happy are the best ones.



All that sweetness will rot your teeth. Go for the sour ones.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aeson said:
			
		

> All that sweetness will rot your teeth. Go for the sour ones.




I like the ones that are tender and plump.


----------



## Dog Moon

Galeros said:
			
		

> I like the ones that are tender and plump.




People?


----------



## Jdvn1

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> People?



 No, teeth.


----------



## Wereserpent

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> People?




No, chicken!


----------



## Dog Moon

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> No, teeth.




Tender and plump TEETH?

I just don't think that's possible.


----------



## Jdvn1

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Tender and plump TEETH?
> 
> I just don't think that's possible.



 That's how the sentence reads!

It's not my fault no one here makes sense!


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> I like the ones that are tender and plump.



didn't know you were a chubby chaser.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Quote:







> Originally Posted by megamania
> now my mind is in the gutter. I swear- girls are the worst.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, yes we are
Click to expand...



No...no you aren't.

You wouldn't believe the filters most guys have between brain and vocal chords...or in this case, keyboard.

I've been to (almost) all-girl parties where intimate things were discussed- even the raunchiest of it was tamer than the stuff I talk about with my buddies...in mixed company.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aeson said:
			
		

> didn't know you were a chubby chaser.




OH YEAH!!!!!!


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

One thing about chubby chasers...

their quarry is easy to catch!


----------



## Wereserpent

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> One thing about chubby chasers...
> 
> their quarry is easy to catch!




OH YEAH!!!!!


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> I've been to Ohio I know how far it is. I have an ever burning torch.
> 
> 
> 
> Have you seen the church on I-75 that has the giant Jesus statue? I think that's what it is. On the other side of the highway is a huge cross. I liked those no speed limit roads they have out in the country there. Never seen so much corn in my life.



Yes, I have seen the stupid statue. All the good things a church can do with its money and instead they chose to build a great big tacky statue. :\


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> didn't know you were a chubby chaser.



there can't be much chasing......


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

A chubby rolling downhill might be a challenge...


----------



## Aurora

Bwahahahahahaha
Sorry, mental image.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

It would be similar to the Japanese Onbashira (pillars) rides or the Cooper's Hill Cheese race...or any chase scene from the TV show, "The Streets of San Francisco."

Thousands of young men chasing a prize downhill, risking life and limb...only without Karl Malden.


----------



## Aurora

I can't believe this thread is going to soon catch the "Test Post Please Ignore" thread. Considering this thread was started a full 2 weeks after the other. Must be all the jokes.....speaking of......


----------



## ssampier

Galeros said:
			
		

> That stuff is never as good as the real thing.




It varies from person to person.


----------



## Aurora

A little boy was sent into a drug store to buy his dad a 2 liter bottle of soda. While he was in there he passed the condom section, and he started to read the lables. The clerk, a little concerned with what the boy would be reading left the register and went over to the boy. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder and said, "Move along son. this isn't for you yet." The boy expressing concern said, "Sir, what are these for?" The clerk, feeling noble said, "People use these to have safe sex. They help to protect from diseases and such." Pointing to the 3 pack, he asked, "What are these for?" The clerk said, "That is for high school boys. One on Friday, one on Saturday, and one on Sunday. Next he pointed to the 6 pack and asked what it was for. The clerk said, "That's for college boys. Two on Friday, two on Saturday, and Two on Sunday. Almost satisfied, the boy asked what the large 12 pack was for. The clerk said, "Thats for married men. One in January, one in February"- and the boy ran out of the store.


----------



## ssampier

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Tender and plump TEETH?
> 
> I just don't think that's possible.




Avoid the chickens with big TEETH.


----------



## Aeson

I had a joke here but it wasn't as funny as I hoped.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> I had a joke here but it wasn't as funny as I hoped.




I still laughed.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> A little boy was sent into a drug store to buy his dad a 2 liter bottle of soda. While he was in there he passed the condom section, and he started to read the lables. The clerk, a little concerned with what the boy would be reading left the register and went over to the boy. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder and said, "Move along son. this isn't for you yet." The boy expressing concern said, "Sir, what are these for?" The clerk, feeling noble said, "People use these to have safe sex. They help to protect from diseases and such." Pointing to the 3 pack, he asked, "What are these for?" The clerk said, "That is for high school boys. One on Friday, one on Saturday, and one on Sunday. Next he pointed to the 6 pack and asked what it was for. The clerk said, "That's for college boys. Two on Friday, two on Saturday, and Two on Sunday. Almost satisfied, the boy asked what the large 12 pack was for. The clerk said, "Thats for married men. One in January, one in February"- and the boy ran out of the store.




Lawl.


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> I still laughed.



But you were laughing at me not with me.


----------



## Jdvn1

ssampier said:
			
		

> Avoid the chickens with big TEETH.



 Very wise words.


----------



## Aeson

Avoid anything with big teeth. They might eat your face.


----------



## Jdvn1

Aeson said:
			
		

> Avoid anything with big teeth. They might eat your face.



_Just_ my face? Those are precise teeth.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Or picky eaters.

I, however, will opt to avoid anyone looking for a new ingredient for Iron Chef.  I don't want to get into showbiz _THAT_ way.

Let THEM try cooking with hufu!


----------



## Aeson

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> _Just_ my face? Those are precise teeth.




The face sounds like a reasonable target. Depending on the height of the biter and the victim. I'm surprised more zombies in the movies don't go after the face.


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Or picky eaters.
> 
> I, however, will opt to avoid anyone looking for a new ingredient for Iron Chef.  I don't want to get into showbiz _THAT_ way.
> 
> Let THEM try cooking with hufu!



Tonights secret ingredient.........Dannyalcatraz's face.


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> Lawl.



WHat is lawl?


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> WHat is lawl?



laughing a whole lot?


----------



## megamania

ssampier said:
			
		

> Avoid the chickens with big TEETH.





Except for Garfield cartoons, birds don't have teeth....?


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> WHat is lawl?






Lacking
Any
Written
Language


?!?


ack That would be the indians


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> WHat is lawl?



Lost ass while laughing? Another way of say LMAO.


----------



## megamania

LAWL

Learning
Another
Wierd
Law


----------



## Wereserpent

Lawl.


----------



## Aeson

LAWL = Term used as a stand in for "lol", however usually said in a sarcastic manner, where somebody's substandard manner of typing is criticized.


----------



## Wereserpent

Lawl.

I just think it is fun to say. 

No offense meant to Aurora.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

LAWL = how Southerners type LOL with a drawl.


----------



## Wereserpent

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> LAWL = how Southerners type LOL with a drawl.





A kender is fine too.


----------



## Aeson

Galeros said:
			
		

> A kender is fine too.



Can I get a collective huh? We weren't talking about the fineatude of kenders but I guess we are now. 


That's right I invented a new word. Deal with it.


----------



## Wereserpent

Long post is loooooooooooong.


----------



## Aeson

Are you feeling ok?


----------



## Wereserpent

Aeson said:
			
		

> Are you feeling ok?





No.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Are you feeling AZ?

Or TX perhaps?


----------



## Wereserpent

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Are you feeling AZ?
> 
> Or TX perhaps?




I am feeling like long post is loooooooooooooooong.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

(scratches head in puzzlement)

Long Post?

(scratches again...has someone been nibbling on Mycanid again?)


----------



## Aurora

Poor Mycanid.


----------



## Wereserpent

I see what you did there.


----------



## Aurora

WHat who did where?


----------



## ssampier

megamania said:
			
		

> Except for Garfield cartoons, birds don't have teeth....?




Good reason to avoid them, sheeze.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> WHat who did where?




Do not want!


----------



## Aurora

*Aurora throws her hands up in the air and goes back to watching CSI*


----------



## Aeson

Gal old buddy, you need to lay off the Gonja dude.


----------



## Wereserpent

Let me show you my pokemans.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> *Aurora throws her hands up in the air and goes back to watching CSI*



Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care.




That was fun.  I need to do that more often.

There, did it again.  I'm glad I'm not at work.


----------



## Aurora

Rofl


----------



## Dog Moon

Wooo!  Did it again.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

> Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care.




I did that! I threw my hands in the air, after waving them like I just didn't care!

The problem is that I couldn't catch them when they fell, and I'm now typing with 2 stumps.

*sigh*


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> I did that! I threw my hands in the air, after waving them like I just didn't care!
> 
> The problem is that I couldn't catch them when they fell, and I'm now typing with 2 stumps.
> 
> *sigh*




Pretty good typist considering you don't have any fists.


----------



## megamania

But I don't want to throw my arms up in the air.  (I just got back from the factory    ugh!)


How goes it folks?

miss me?


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> miss me?




Who are you again?


----------



## megamania

Galeros said:
			
		

> No.




me neither.


----------



## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Who are you again?




The really annoying guy from Vermont.


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> me neither.




Thirded.  Wait, what are we saying no to?


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> The really annoying guy from Vermont.




Vermont?  Where's that?  Somewhere east, right?


----------



## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Thirded.  Wait, what are we saying no to?




being sick.  For the last 48 hours food can't decide which which way to go- North or South.  Really sucks.   That is why I was here briefly yesterday afternnon then gone.   I slept a whooping 10 hours (over twice my normal) and I still am not right.


----------



## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Vermont?  Where's that?  Somewhere east, right?




Between NY and NH.   Some say we are a part of NY or Canada.  Neither wanted us however when asked about the rumors.


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> being sick.  For the last 48 hours food can't decide which which way to go- North or South.  Really sucks.   That is why I was here briefly yesterday afternnon then gone.   I slept a whooping 10 hours (over twice my normal) and I still am not right.




I actually slept for 12 hours last night.  Getting 6 hours or less of sleep each night for the last week finally caught up to me.


----------



## megamania

I average maybe 4 1/2 hours a day.  Two jobs will do that to a guy.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

> Pretty good typist considering you don't have any fists.




I'm just very, very, patient, and I make sure I take my time editing.


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> I average maybe 4 1/2 hours a day.  Two jobs will do that to a guy.




And then shortly after, that would totally kill me and I wouldn't have to worry about sleep or working or life!


----------



## Aurora

Same with me Dog Moon. Have I told you guys how much I love to sleep (pretty sure I have).


----------



## Aeson

I think most people love to sleep, mainly because they don't get enough of it anymore.


----------



## Aurora

God knows I haven't since I had a kid. I'm thinking I don't need another one. LOL


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> God knows I haven't since I had a kid. I'm thinking I don't need another one. LOL



The doubt alone is reason enough not to have another.


----------



## Wereserpent

I need 12-15 hours of sleep to feel fully rested.


----------



## Aurora

I attribute my need of large amounts of sleep to depression.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> I attribute my need of large amounts of sleep to depression.



Don't talk to me about depression. I have stories that would make someone else kill themselves out of sympathy. I spent many days just laying in bed. I didn't want to do anything.


----------



## Aurora

That's pretty bad.


----------



## Mycanid

Nibbling on me eh? Hmm ... musta been catatonic when that was going on. I DO hope whoever has been nibbling on me has been warned that I am one of the variety tha cause upset stomachs!

It IS true, btw, that depression can cause one to wish to sleep more. I get about 6 hours of sleep a night, and that seems to suffice. On Sundays I usually take an extra 2 hour nap in the afternoon, but other than that.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

For the first 30 or so years of my life, I was a 4hr/day sleeper...

For the last 9, I've upped that to 6.


----------



## Aurora

Mycanid said:
			
		

> Nibbling on me eh? Hmm ... musta been catatonic when that was going on. I DO hope whoever has been nibbling on me has been warned that I am one of the variety tha cause upset stomachs!
> 
> It IS true, btw, that depression can cause one to wish to sleep more. I get about 6 hours of sleep a night, and that seems to suffice. On Sundays I usually take an extra 2 hour nap in the afternoon, but other than that.



Sunday afternoon naps are the best. Especially if its raining. Not only is it soothing, but it gives you an even better excuse to not be out working in the yard-lol


----------



## Aurora

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. 

The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead beautiful blonde... the works!

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'me.... could I see your drivers license...?" 

"...What's a license...???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. 

"It's usually in your wallet..." replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration..." asked the cop. 

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. 

After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute..." said the cop and walked back to his car. 

The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; 

"Ummm.... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes...." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher "Uh... yes" replied the cop. 

"Here's what you do...." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants..." 

"WHAT!!? I can't do that. Its..... inappropriate..." exclaimed the cop. 

"Trust me..... just do it...." said the dispatcher. 

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer......"


----------



## Aurora

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. 

The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!"


The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?"


The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"


----------



## Aeson

I saw a blond joke like the one with the cop but it would not make it under the grandma rule.


----------



## Aeson

Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.


Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.


----------



## Aurora

What does a blonde say after sex?
"So...do you all play for the same team?"


----------



## Wereserpent

“To make it realistic, I’m going to tell her to give you a hard time.”


----------



## Aurora

This blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde answered the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" 
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." 

The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No. Just up to my b**bs."


----------



## Wereserpent

*Groans*


----------



## Aurora

Galeros said:
			
		

> *Groans*



Terrible isn't it.


----------



## Wereserpent

Aurora said:
			
		

> Terrible isn't it.




It is funny, just groan worthy too.


----------



## Aurora

A guy is walking down the street with some chicken wire under his arm. His neighbor sees him and asks what he has. The guy replies, "Its chicken wire and I'm going to catch some chickens." His neighbor says, "You fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire." Later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 chickens. The next day he sees him walking down the street with some duct tape under his arm. Once again he asks what the guy is up to. The guy says he has some duct tape and he is going to catch some ducks. He replies, "You fool, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Sure enough later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 ducks behind him. The next day, he sees the guy walking with something else under his arm. He asks what it is. The guy replies, "Its pussy willow." He says, "Hold on, let me get my hat."


----------



## Aeson

"Where would I find some pussy willow?"


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

I have a wussy pillow.


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> I have a wussy pillow.




Have you caught any wussies with that?


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Nah...its MADE from wussies.


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Aurora said:
			
		

> A guy is walking down the street with some chicken wire under his arm. His neighbor sees him and asks what he has. The guy replies, "Its chicken wire and I'm going to catch some chickens." His neighbor says, "You fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire." Later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 chickens. The next day he sees him walking down the street with some duct tape under his arm. Once again he asks what the guy is up to. The guy says he has some duct tape and he is going to catch some ducks. He replies, "You fool, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Sure enough later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 ducks behind him. The next day, he sees the guy walking with something else under his arm. He asks what it is. The guy replies, "Its pussy willow." He says, "Hold on, let me get my hat."



  ROFLOMP!!!!!


----------



## Dog Moon

Frukathka said:
			
		

> ROFLOMP!!!!!




Okay, I know the *R*olling *O*n the *F*loor *L*aughing, but what's the OMP?


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Ostriches May Poop?

Orchestral Maneuvers Plus?

Oozed My Pants?


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Oozed My Pants?




If Fru is saying he's rolling on the floor laughing and oozing his pants, I totally do NOT want to here about that, IYKWIMAITTYD.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Actually, INSWYMSWDYEITM?

JK!


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Okay, I know the *R*olling *O*n the *F*loor *L*aughing, but what's the OMP?



Off
My 
Petunia


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Actually, INSWYMSWDYEITM?
> 
> JK!




I don't know if it's good that you're JK cause I have no idea what that means.


----------



## Dog Moon

Frukathka said:
			
		

> Off
> My
> Petunia




If petunia means what I think it's supposed to mean, I don't think I'd ever want to laugh like that.


----------



## The Thayan Menace

*Who's the Master?*



			
				Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Okay, I know the *R*olling *O*n the *F*loor *L*aughing, but what's the OMP?










"Overestimated mental puissance?"


​


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> If petunia means what I think it's supposed to mean, I don't think I'd ever want to laugh like that.



Arse, Derriere, the front of my back.


----------



## Dog Moon

The Thayan Menace said:
			
		

> "Overestimated mental puissance?"
> 
> 
> ​




Wow, haven't seen THAT in a while.


----------



## Aurora

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup,the doctor
called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a
very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be
pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a
nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't burden him
with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will
only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several
times a week and satisfy his every whim. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2
months, I think your husband will regain his health completely. On the way home, the
husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going to
die," she replied.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

*INSWYMSWDYEITM*= I'm Not Sure What You Mean So Why Don't You Explain It To Me.

and of course,

JK= Just Kidding


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> *INSWYMSWDYEITM*= I'm Not Sure What You Mean So Why Don't You Explain It To Me.
> 
> and of course,
> 
> JK= Just Kidding




I KNEW what the JK was...

I'd explain it to you, but if you don't already know what it means, I don't think you're old enough to be told.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Oh Carp!

I'm 39...if I'm not old enough, who is?


----------



## Aeson

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Oh Carp!
> 
> I'm 39...if I'm not old enough, who is?



Diaglo.


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup,the doctor
> called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a
> very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
> husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be
> pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a
> nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't burden him
> with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will
> only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several
> times a week and satisfy his every whim. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2
> months, I think your husband will regain his health completely. On the way home, the
> husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going to
> die," she replied.




Yup-  I have heard of this one before.  Still made me smile to hear it again although.


----------



## megamania

Sleep is rare

Restful Sleep is a mere myth

For me to get over 6 hours of sleep means I'm sick


For me to get over 8 hours of sleep leaves me with a hurting back.


----------



## megamania

Saw the Spider-Man III previeew and Bond Saturday night.  Both were very good.  Spider-man III should kick some serious backside.

If you like the movie version of Bond vs Ian Fleming's Bond go to the rental store.   THIS Bond was directly out of the original novels and very good.  VERY different from the other Bond movies.

That's all I will say since not all here have seen it and I don't want to ruin it.


----------



## megamania

Seems no one is here so I will return later....  see yah!


----------



## Aeson

megamania said:
			
		

> Seems no one is here so I will return later....  see yah!



No one wants to come out and play.


----------



## megamania

I'm back but for a minute or two.   It does seem quiet here.  The store was quiet also.   Did something (like a major disaster) happen to keep folks home?


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Its the end of the world as we know it...but I feel fine!


----------



## werk

megamania said:
			
		

> Sleep is rare
> 
> Restful Sleep is a mere myth
> 
> For me to get over 6 hours of sleep means I'm sick
> 
> 
> For me to get over 8 hours of sleep leaves me with a hurting back.




I slept 12.5 hours last night!


----------



## Mycanid

Hmm ... never seen the Star Wars thing with the goats. Who threw that together?

Ah well.


----------



## Dog Moon

werk said:
			
		

> I slept 12.5 hours last night!




Dang!  Seven and a half for me.  Not quite enough for me to be restful, but enough so I wasn't dead in the morning.


----------



## Aurora

I got about 8 hours last night and then took a 2 hour nap today


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Dang!  Seven and a half for me.  Not quite enough for me to be restful, but enough so I wasn't dead in the morning.



I got 10 hours last night.   

Then again, I easily sleep that much when I'm not expecting anything to happen in the next day or two.


----------



## Aeson

90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.


----------



## Aeson

A budget is something we go without to stay within.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
> The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.



I had to read this twice.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> A budget is something we go without to stay within.



Been reading fortune cookies?


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> No one wants to come out and play.




At least not while I'm here.



Like the thread title.... I feel so deleted.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Ba ba ba-ba,
ba-ba ba ba-ba
I wanna be deleted!


----------



## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Ba ba ba-ba,
> ba-ba ba ba-ba
> I wanna be deleted!




Uh oh, I need to listen to music NOW or I'm gonna have that song in my head all day because of you.


----------



## megamania

Play that funky music....


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Aeson said:
			
		

> 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
> The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.



ROFL!!! 

Frakked up!


----------



## megamania

The worse is it true!


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> Play that funky music....



Lay down and boogie and play that funky music till ya die!


----------



## Aeson

No matter how hard you try. I have Christmas music in my head and you will not replace it.

We have 2 stations playing it 24/7.


----------



## Aurora

Now I must go listen to the Christmas Tauntans song. Ooooo or the "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" sing! Yay!


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Now I must go listen to the Christmas Tauntans song. Ooooo or the "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" sing! Yay!



Do I want to know what a Christmas Tauntan is?


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

The Christmas Tauntauns are the critters who haul Santa Fett's Sled 1.


----------



## Aurora

You've never seen the Star Wars fan film Christmas Tauntauns?


----------



## Aeson

I haven't until now. I kinda wish I hadn't still. The singer needed some work.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> I haven't until now. I kinda wish I hadn't still. The singer needed some work.



Yeah, she does, but I still think it's cute. Ah, now i remember you don't care for female singing voices all that much......


----------



## Aeson

Have you seen Return of Pink 5? Pink 5 in the slave girl outfit.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Yeah, she does, but I still think it's cute. Ah, now i remember you don't care for female singing voices all that much......



Actually her voice wasn't too high for me. It just wasn't that great. I liked the video.


----------



## Dog Moon

Frukathka said:
			
		

> ROFL!!!
> 
> Frakked up!




Someone likes Battlestar Galactica.


----------



## Aeson

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Someone likes Battlestar Galactica.



Nothing wrong with that. It's a good show.


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> Now I must go listen to the Christmas Tauntans song. Ooooo or the "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" sing! Yay!




I have never heard of these.....   I want a hippo.... why the heck would you want that?


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Someone likes Battlestar Galactica.



Not really, but it is better than the saying alternative.


----------



## megamania

I never have seen the show- 80's version or the newer one.   I had a cyclone warrior action figure though.  It was really neat.


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> I never have seen the show- 80's version or the newer one.   I had a cyclone warrior action figure though.  It was really neat.




The old one was cheesy, but the new one is cool.  New ep. tonight too.


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> Have you seen Return of Pink 5? Pink 5 in the slave girl outfit.




nope but I'm thinking that I should......


----------



## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> The old one was cheesy, but the new one is cool.  New ep. tonight too.





no TV


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> no TV




No TV!


----------



## megamania

Sucks to be poor and in the the worst place to be within a river valley.

Cable ends about 500 feet from the house.  They won't bring it here.  Comcast just bought the cable company so who knows....

Satellite sits directly on the ridge line so sometimes I can get reception, sometimes not.   High humidity or any rain and I lose it completely.

It really sucks.


----------



## Dog Moon

Wow, that really does suck.


----------



## Aeson

megamania said:
			
		

> nope but I'm thinking that I should......



Don't need a TV. Check out pinkfive.com


----------



## Aurora

megamania said:
			
		

> I have never heard of these.....   I want a hippo.... why the heck would you want that?



It's a song. It's a little girl singing it and it is really cute. It seems to b something local around here though for some reason. No one else ever seems to have heard of it anywhere else.


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Wow, that really does suck.



Indeed.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Apparently, I don't have the most current version of the software in which the thing is recorded, so I can't view it.

Aurora...be a dear and just sing it for us!

Or perhaps I'll just ask Santa Fett to sing it when he comes to town...

You'll try to watch out
You'll probably cry
Better not shout
I'm telling you why
Santa Fett is coming to town

He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna enslave the naughty and nice
Santa Fett is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He's got a bunch of blasters 
So be good for goodness sake!

O! The Christmas Tauntauns
Are pulling Sled 1
And you're gonna cry
I'm telling you why
Santa Fett is coming to town
Santa Fett is coming to tooooooooowwwwwn!


----------



## Aurora

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Aurora...be a dear and just sing it for us!



How about I just be a dear and point you to it   
Here is the website with the lyrics and you can download the MP3 for free. It's not very great quality, but you get the idea.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Oh THAT song!

Yeah, I've heard it before...live


----------



## Aurora

Speaking of Christmas, have you guys seen these. I think I am gonna print off the silent night ones and send them out this year


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Many would say I'm a bit of a Christmas curmudgeon...I'll buy gifts, but they won't be wrapped- they'll be in nice bags sans price tags- but that's it...

Although, if I send a card or something by mail, you're sure to get some kind of cutesy stamp or card.  Or both.


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> Don't need a TV. Check out pinkfive.com





Salt in the open wound....


I am on modem using 1960's phone lines.   Even at this hour I rarely clear 26Kbps.

There have been days where it two over two minutes just to pull up the home page.


----------



## megamania

I may have to look into Verizons Direct Line System.  Costs roughly what I do now per month but it'll be in theory much faster and a better quality line.


----------



## Dog Moon

Man, you're so far behind in times.  You don't take a horse and carriage to work, do you?


----------



## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Man, you're so far behind in times.  You don't take a horse and carriage to work, do you?





I would but the wheel hasn't been invented in Vermont yet


----------



## megamania

Generally I never worry about the "one one posting a minute" rule cause it takes at least that long to clear.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Hey!  Lets stop mocking the Amish guy!


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Hey!  Lets stop mocking the Amish guy!



Whose amish?


----------



## megamania

The guy with the horns is mocking the country boy


----------



## megamania

You guys have heard that if you play a rock record backwards you hear evil voices.   What do you get when you play a country album backwards?


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> Generally I never worry about the "one one posting a minute" rule cause it takes at least that long to clear.




Actually, it's 30 secs.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

You get your truck back, your girl back, and your dog back.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

megamania should be posting his punchline any (couple of) minutes now...


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

(hums the theme song to Final Jeopardy from the game show)


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

(teaches a turtle to play chess)


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> You guys have heard that if you play a rock record backwards you hear evil voices.   What do you get when you play a country album backwards?



Never did it. But I did hear Adam Sandler do that in one of his movies.


----------



## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Actually, it's 30 secs.




I wasn't aware they had shortened it....


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> (teaches a turtle to play chess)



A turtle can play chess?


----------



## megamania

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> You get your truck back, your girl back, and your dog back.





okay so its an old joke....


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> I wasn't aware they had shortened it....



Shiza! Its been that way for as long as I can remember.


----------



## megamania

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> megamania should be posting his punchline any (couple of) minutes now...




hey now.   At least I don't consider myself a country bumkin.   I listen to country only once in a while.  Western is good also.   



(sorry-   bad Blues Brothers joke)


----------



## megamania

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> (teaches a turtle to play chess)





Did it win?


----------



## megamania

Frukathka said:
			
		

> Shiza! Its been that way for as long as I can remember.




A Couple of years ago I used to sneak into the Mack Warehouse area and check e-mails and Storyhours.  It was 1 / minute then.


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> A Couple of years ago I used to sneak into the Mack Warehouse area and check e-mails and Storyhours.  It was 1 / minute then.



I've been a member since September '04. Seems its been once per 30 seconds since then. Oh well.


----------



## megamania

Frukathka said:
			
		

> I've been a member since September '04. Seems its been once per 30 seconds since then. Oh well.




It was 1/ minute when Dragon Girl was creating the original Hivemind thread.  That was ...3 years ago I guess.  We'll have to ask her.


----------



## megamania

Speaking of which....


She returned and was so active for about 2-3 days and now I have not seen her here in several.  Where'd she go?


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> Speaking of which....
> 
> 
> She returned and was so active for about 2-3 days and now I have not seen her here in several.  Where'd she go?



Maybe she gravitated to Circvs Maximvs. I'm not a big fan of it. I'd rather discuss my off topic stuff here than there.


----------



## Dog Moon

Frukathka said:
			
		

> Maybe she gravitated to Circvs Maximvs. I'm not a big fan of it. I'd rather discuss my off topic stuff here than there.




Naw, you just want to keep your high postcount.


----------



## megamania

Frukathka said:
			
		

> Maybe she gravitated to Circvs Maximvs. I'm not a big fan of it. I'd rather discuss my off topic stuff here than there.




I've heard it can be rude there.


----------



## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Naw, you just want to keep your high postcount.




well.... there is that....


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Naw, you just want to keep your high postcount.



Postcount doesn't mean anything to me. There is nothing it can personally do for me, so why should I care?

Anyway, I stated a 'maybe' and since I am no longer a fan of Cirvs Maximvs, I can't tell anyone with any certainty if she is or isn't there.


----------



## megamania

I just looked into your Sig on 2nd edition stuff.  I have Sea Devils but some stuff is worth holding onto.   Sorrry.


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> I just looked into your Sig on 2nd edition stuff.  I have Sea Devils but some stuff is worth holding onto.   Sorrry.



Thats fine. Each person has their own tasted of what is worth holding onto and what isn't. Nothing I can do to change those values, which is why I keep that thread linked to my .sig.


----------



## megamania

I wish they did more with the Sahguin.  Especially with the DDM figures.  They did a ranger only.  I really want a cleric/adept and a mutant.


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> I wish they did more with the Sahguin.  Especially with the DDM figures.  They did a ranger only.  I really want a cleric/adept and a mutant.



Mutant sahuagin? Can't recall the source of that one.

Waitaminute, you mean the four armed sahuagin, dont you?


----------



## Aurora

DannyA, you crack me up man. My guess is that you are chaos in motion my friend. how did you end up being a lawyer? LOL If your brain works the way it seems it does from the way you post then you are an out of the box thinker. I would guess that normally lawyers are not as such.


----------



## Aurora

It is obvious that you guys do not lurk on NL.........


----------



## Dog Moon

Morning, everyone!


----------



## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Morning, everyone!



Guten Morgen


----------



## Dog Moon

Ohayo Gozaimasu!

Man, I watch too much anime.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> It is obvious that you guys do not lurk on NL.........



Hard enough lurking here and CM.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Hard enough lurking here and CM.



I have a whole 2 posts over at CM now.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> I have a whole 2 posts over at CM now.




I don't think I've ever even signed up and created an account over there.  Never really been interested.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

> My guess is that you are chaos in motion my friend.




Ja! Ja! Jou bet for sure! Okey-doke!



> How did you end up being a lawyer?




I kicked donkey on the LSAT, so law school was free..._with a stipend_.  Plus, Dad responded to my question "What do think of me getting my Master of Fine Arts?" with "What do you think of paying for that by yourself?" to which I responded "Law school it is, then!"



> LOL If your brain works the way it seems it does from the way you post then you are an out of the box thinker.




My brain has never actually been within the confines of a box.

A large pyrex vat with electrodes, maybe, but not a box.



> I would guess that normally lawyers are not as such.




I was clearly the alien in law school.  When I once was spotted reading a novel (gasp!) in the canteen, a few (not just one) of my fellow students walked over and asked me what I was reading.  When I told them, one said "You read for fun?" and wandered off, mystified.

Most of them read only classbooks, newspapers, and magazines...

Thus, when the professors said something like "This law hangs like the Sword of Damocles over all persons in this area of commerce..." I was the one who had to decipher it for them.


----------



## megamania

Frukathka said:
			
		

> Mutant sahuagin? Can't recall the source of that one.
> 
> Waitaminute, you mean the four armed sahuagin, dont you?




yuppersiree'


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> I have a whole 2 posts over at CM now.





Its enough for me to post and chit-chat here.   Sometimes I do WoTC in the Eberron section however.


----------



## megamania

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> I was clearly the alien in law school.  When I once was spotted reading a novel (gasp!) in the canteen, a few (not just one) of my fellow students walked over and asked me what I was reading.  When I told them, one said "You read for fun?" and wandered off, mystified.
> 
> Most of them read only classbooks, newspapers, and magazines...
> 
> Thus, when the professors said something like "This law hangs like the Sword of Damocles over all persons in this area of commerce..." I was the one who had to decipher it for them.





Minds are like parachutes-  they only work if open.


----------



## Aeson

megamania said:
			
		

> Minds are like parachutes-  they only work if open.



What of it has a hole in it?


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Aeson said:
			
		

> What of it has a hole in it?



It daesn't fanctien to teh bast of its ahbility.


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> What of it has a hole in it?




bad memory I guess


My issue is I need to clean it more often.  It is SO dirty....


----------



## megamania

Frukathka said:
			
		

> It daesn't fanctien to teh bast of its ahbility.





type much?  LOL


----------



## Aeson

megamania said:
			
		

> bad memory I guess
> 
> 
> My issue is I need to clean it more often.  It is SO dirty....



The hole helps. You lean to one side and bang on the other side make the memories fall out.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> The hole helps. You lean to one side and bang on the other side make the memories fall out.




I LIKE my memories though.  I wish I could remember them BETTER, not worse.


----------



## Aurora

megamania said:
			
		

> bad memory I guess
> 
> 
> My issue is I need to clean it more often.  It is SO dirty....



Bahahaha
Maybe that's what mine needs......


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> The hole helps. You lean to one side and bang on the other side make the memories fall out.



*examines head for a hole*

Nope no hole (except for the ones that should be there). Would have helped explain why I have no childhood memories. Of course, other things also explain that.....


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> type much?  LOL



I was demonstrating what happens when your brain has a hole in it.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Its better this way:

sf ;o huxcflkh axl;klsd ow?!Q!#@ 0 aw8ytf '?{ch ;jv?


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> The hole helps. You lean to one side and bang on the other side make the memories fall out.




but people think I really AM insane.... or at least unbalanced.


----------



## megamania

Frukathka said:
			
		

> I was demonstrating what happens when your brain has a hole in it.





I know.   I <was> waiting for your reply to that effect


----------



## Dog Moon

megamania said:
			
		

> but people think I really AM insane.... or at least unbalanced.




That should mean you can get away with a lot more.


----------



## Aurora

In my psychology class I had to take a "crazy test". I found that I really am a bit crazy. Although, honestly I already knew this. So, I had DShai take it (cause he is completely nuts) and he didn't score near as crazy as I did. It is widely accepted among our friends that _he_ is the crazy one. Becase HE IS! So, it begs the question who is crazier, the actual crazy person, or the one who marries them? *sigh*


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> In my psychology class I had to take a "crazy test". I found that I really am a bit crazy. Although, honestly I already knew this. So, I had DShai take it (cause he is completely nuts) and he didn't score near as crazy as I did. It is widely accepted among our friends that _he_ is the crazy one. Becase HE IS! So, it begs the question who is crazier, the actual crazy person, or the one who marries them? *sigh*



The person that married the crazy couple. If he saw the two of you were crazy he shouldn't gone through with it. Now you'll have crazy children. The whole family will be a bunch of loonys.


----------



## Aurora

LOL True! Except it would be _both_ people who married us. _Technically, we actually got married twice_


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> LOL True! Except it would be _both_ people who married us. _Technically, we actually got married twice_



Once wasn't enough? Do you have to get divorced twice if it comes to that? Pam Anderson and Kid Rock have to get divorced in all the places they were married if the break up.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Once wasn't enough? Do you have to get divorced twice if it comes to that? Pam Anderson and Kid Rock have to get divorced in all the places they were married if the break up.



We eloped and had a regular wedding.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> Once wasn't enough? Do you have to get divorced twice if it comes to that? Pam Anderson and Kid Rock have to get divorced in all the places they were married if the break up.



They're just....gross.


----------



## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> They're just....gross.



No Billy Bob and Angelina was gross.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> No Billy Bob and Angelina was gross.



I _quite_ agree.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

David Guest & Liza Minelli pretty much defined gross to me.


----------



## Aurora

Eeeewwwww


----------



## dragonhead

second. (woo hoo, post number 600 for this thread.)


----------



## Goblyn

Wow. First the "Test post - please ignore" thread and now this.


----------



## Jdvn1

Aeson said:
			
		

> What of it has a hole in it?



 Those are _speed holes_.


----------



## Jdvn1

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> I kicked donkey on the LSAT, so law school was free..._with a stipend_.



Ooh, what'd you get? I have a friend that's an ex-marine who got a 170 (isn't that amazing? Marine and lawyer!) and my oldest brother got a 175. Each of them still have to pay their ways through law school.


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> LOL True! Except it would be _both_ people who married us. _Technically, we actually got married twice_




Now hy did you do that?   Not sure the first time?


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> No Billy Bob and Angelina was gross.





No.  Listening to them talk about their relationship was ....wrong.


----------



## megamania

Aurora said:
			
		

> LOL True! Except it would be _both_ people who married us. _Technically, we actually got married twice_




This summer we are renewing our vow.   She wants an official minister.   I say-   get the craziest friend we have and he can run it.   Clinton will make it interesting I'm sure.


----------



## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> Once wasn't enough? Do you have to get divorced twice if it comes to that? Pam Anderson and Kid Rock have to get divorced in all the places they were married if the break up.




You the four of them?   Kid Rock, Pam and each of her breasts?


----------



## megamania

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> Ooh, what'd you get? I have a friend that's an ex-marine who got a 170 (isn't that amazing? Marine and lawyer!) and my oldest brother got a 175. Each of them still have to pay their ways through law school.





SATs suck.


----------



## Jdvn1

megamania said:
			
		

> SATs suck.



 LSATs are a bit different.


----------



## Aurora

LSAT's are definitely different. But I agree SAT's suck. I remember the day I took mine I was sick and didn't do well at all. What is that other test though (God it's been a long time). I did well on that one. Got some scholarships based off of that score.


----------



## Angel Tarragon

Aurora said:
			
		

> LSAT's are definitely different. But I agree SAT's suck. I remember the day I took mine I was sick and didn't do well at all. What is that other test though (God it's been a long time). I did well on that one. Got some scholarships based off of that score.



Never had to take erither. Is that good or bad?


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

When I took it, I got a 42...

out of 48.  They had a different scoring system back then.  It was the highest minority score in TX, and one of the highest in the nation for a non-white.  I should have gotten a perfect score (I know exactly which ones I missed and why), but I was slightly sleep deprived and hungry that day.

My Dad called me to pick him up at the airport that morning, so I missed breakfast.  Then, due to traffic, I couldn't get across town fast enough to catch a snack before the test.


----------



## Dog Moon

ACTs?  That's what I took.  My friend did the same.  I scored super high in English and horrible in math, and he did the opposite.  Had we been able to combine our tests, we would have done soooo well.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Unless you combined the low scores...  

With the exception of the Bar exam (which I had to take more than once), I've scored in the 98th percentile or higher on every standardized test I've ever taken...

and I'm a lousy, lazy student.  Unless I looOOOOove the topic, I have a bad habit of "phoning it in" to get a high "B" or low "A" (and a smattering of other grades when I underestimate the topic's difficulty  ).


----------



## Jdvn1

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> When I took it, I got a 42...
> 
> out of 48.



Yup. It's currently out of 180. My (minority) brother probably scored in the 99th percentile. He's kind of a freak like that, though. 

Still, no stipend that I know of. Shame.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Well, I was both crafty and lucky...I chose a good school that really, really, _really_ wanted black students.

While I got into Yale and University of Chicago (respectively ranked 2 & 1 at the time), both of them were extremely expensive.  Chicago in particular was my fave...but they had made some bad land deals, so much of their scholarship money had dried up at the time.

I went to UT, which for me was both a state school AND ranked 16th in the nation...they were happy to get me with my scores.  They had also been trying to erase a reputation for racism.  There were only 20 blacks in my class of 500+, and the frats had a reputaion (well deserved) of being the most violent in the nation.  In fact, while I was there, a large-ish posse of them shouted racial (and other) epithets at the student body president (a black lesbian) while she was speaking at a peace rally.

In broad daylight.

On the campus' scenic main walkway.  (You know, the one where in 1966, Charles Whitman in the tower claimed many of his victims.)

Without retribution.  Without even _FEAR_ of retribution. (And there was none.)

And this was in the 1990s, when white students were claiming reverse discrimination about being denied entry into the lawschool.

mmmmmMMMMmmmm- DIXIE!

I suspect your sibs are the victims of the fact that there are many more minorities entering lawschool these days, and that there is even less scholarship money to go around.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Hmmm...my last post was a bit of a downer.

Anybody here play guitar?

How about..._cowbell?_


----------



## Jdvn1

UT is still a really strong law school--my ex-Marine/future-lawyer friend is currently going there. I'm glad you got through that okay! My brother, I think, expects to go to a top 5 school, which isn't so helpful for spending small amounts of money.

Are you still in Texas?


----------



## Jdvn1

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Hmmm...my last post was a bit of a downer.
> 
> Anybody here play guitar?
> 
> How about..._cowbell?_



Actually, I do play cowbell, as part of a drumset.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Yeah- I live in the D/FW Metroplex.

As for top 5 schools...WHY?

I have found that, even in the glutted market, a top 20 school can get you what you need.  Heck, even some outside of the top 20 are worth attending!

If you want to be a trial attorney in TX, for instance, there is no better school than Baylor.  They churn out some serious courtroom sharks.

If you want to be a mover & shaker in D/FW, SMU is where its at.  There are firms here that are purely SMU grads, and the only school more heavily represented here is UT.  Oh yeah- they apparently landed the George Bush Presidential library, too.

As for my school, you get out of there, you've got a strong foundation in theory, and you'll have paid 1/3 of what others would have for a lesser education.  There is something to be said for minimizing your debt.

Especially in a glutted market.

And I'm sure it's the same in other states- one law school will be the "trial" school...another the bargain, another will be politically connected.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

Psst...I think we're still being too serious...

(starts playing "Don't Fear the Reaper"...which needs some cowbell...)


All our times have come 
Here but now they're gone 
Seasons don't fear the reaper 
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain. we can be like they are 
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper 
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper 
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper 
Baby I'm your man... 

Valentine is done 
Here but now they're gone 
Romeo and Juliet 
Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet 
40,000 men and women everyday...Like Romeo and Juliet 
40,000 men and women everyday...Redefine happiness 
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are 
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper 
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper 
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper 
Baby I'm your man... 

Love of two is one 
Here but now they're gone 
Came the last night of sadness 
And it was clear she couldn't go on 
Then the door was open and the wind appeared 
The candles blew then disappeared 
The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid 
Come on baby...and she had no fear 
And she ran to him...then they started to fly 
They looked backward and said goodbye...she had become like they are 
She had taken his hand...she had become like they are 
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper


----------



## Jdvn1

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Yeah- I live in the D/FW Metroplex.



Neato, I lived there for about three years. What kind of law do you practice?


> As for top 5 schools...WHY?



Because he can? A top 20 school is definitely good, but saying that you went to the number one school in your field is automatic prestige. It might not matter very much, but the name of a school can take you pretty far.

I know a disabled lawyer who graduated Harvard undergrad and also Harvard law (deaf lawyers are quite rare, particularly ones that have done so well for themselves). Would you be surprised to hear that he has a great, very well paying job as an attorney for a very large company? Of course not. Could he have been better educated elsewhere? Probably so. But the Harvard name says a lot.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

> What kind of law do you practice?




Technically, I'm an entertainment lawyer...but I'm not getting enough business.  That's why I went back to school and got an MBA in Sports/Entertainment marketing, and I'm looking to get a job with some big 'ol company.

I must confess, my Wis score is a bit low- breaking into showbiz, even on the business end, is difficult.  EntLaw is tougher than any other to get into, and I'm trying to do that in Dallas... :\ 



> Would you be surprised to hear that he has a great, very well paying job as an attorney for a very large company?




No, but I bet HE would be! *baDUMbump crashhhhhhh*

I'll be here all week!

I understand what you mean, though.  When I was starting off, I was offered a spot in a startup lawfirm...because that UT diploma goes a long way in some circles.  (It fell through for a variety of reasons.)

Funny thing about Harvard...I have a buddy who is a Harvard grad (PsiD)...he said that up in Quincy, everybody and their pet guppy has a Harvard degree.  Up there, apparently, a Harvard diploma is an entry level req for serving fries.

Outside of Quincy, however, many of their degrees are like a license to print money.


----------



## Aurora

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> and I'm a lousy, lazy student.  Unless I looOOOOove the topic, I have a bad habit of "phoning it in" to get a high "B" or low "A" (and a smattering of other grades when I underestimate the topic's difficulty  ).



Sounds like me. My teachers used to get mad at me and tell me I should have a 4.0. Eh, who cares was always my response. LOL Sports were more important than studying or *gasp* homework. I never did homework. It's a good thing I was well liked by faculty.

Damn, you did do well on the ACT. I think I got a 42 on the Math part and a 39 overall. (Stupid English)


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## Aurora

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> Yup. It's currently out of 180. My (minority) brother probably scored in the 99th percentile. He's kind of a freak like that, though.
> 
> Still, no stipend that I know of. Shame.



Holy crap they have changed the scoring system!


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## Dannyalcatraz

Ahhh....college "daze"

I have all kinds of whacky stories about how little I actually studied.

I once walked up to a classroom, and all of my fellow students were in the hall, all quiet, with their noses buried in their books.  I laughed- "You guys look like you're studying for a test!"

"Duh- we are!"

I didn't even have my books.

I asked the girl who sat next to me if I could borrow her book- she smirked, closed it, and handed it to me.  "Sure!"

For the next 5 minutes, I flipped through about 5 chapters- looking at headings "Yep...got that...know that...he'll test that..."

I was the first to finish the test.  When we got them back, he wrote the score distribution on the board, and handed them back to us, in no particular order, folded so that only the test recipient could see the score.  The girl who loaned me her book had the highest score of all of her friends- an 88.  When I was handed mine, I quickly glanced at the score and made to tuck it in my backpack.

"Ah-ah-ahhhh!  I loaned you my book, I want to see that score!"

"No you don't."

"Yes.  I do."

"You really don't."

She glared...Sighing, I handed it to her.

When she saw my score, she threw my test at me.  I had a 93, 3rd highest in the class.

Stories like that are why some people actually dropped classes I was taking within my majors- I was too likely to set or break the curve.


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## Aurora

Once again, it is quite scary, you sound an awful lot like DShai. That really is sickening ya know. I mean, I can not do homework and not study and easily get a "B" but not normally an "A". DShai bought a total of like 5 books his entire college career. If a class was hard and he thought _maybe_ he should take a peek at the book, his motto was "find the cutest girl in the class and make friends with her." You have no idea how often we run into _another one_ of DShai's hot ex-study partners. *eyeroll*


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## Aeson

I went to a Technical College. It wasn't even a Junior College. Most of the instructors were not professional teachers. The Math and English teachers were. The English teachers even gave us spelling tests, which I'm sure many of you can tell I didn't do well on them. 


Many of my classes the instructor gave us tests that were true/false and multiple choice. They were often just like the study guide we had. 

I'm glad the state lottery paid for it because I didn't get my money's worth.


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## Dannyalcatraz

> DShai bought a total of like 5 books his entire college career.




I had to buy my coursebooks, but that was about it.

I used my undergrad library 2 times- once to complete freshman orientation requirements, and a second time to complete a senior thesis on Chaos Theory in Economics.

I got lost in the library on my second visit, so I asked a guy I knew, John Anapakous (sp?), to help me find the card catalog...he fell to his knees in teary laughter.

Punch line: The library had gone to a computerized index 3 years previous.

It was pretty much the same in law school.  The only times I used _that_ library were for 1L orientation purposes and research on the works of Karl Renner, Communist Economics/Law theorist from Austria.

I was supposed to do a comparison between an assigned book of his, his other work, and Western Capitalist theory.  Well, I could read his book, and I knew my Western Economics/law stuff...but the book assigned was the only one translated into English from his native German- something I only found out after the _reference librarian _did a month and a half of searching.

While I do speak German, my Deutche-skillz aren't THAT good.

I did what I could and guilted the prof into a B.  Fair enough, IMHO.

And my notebooks? 

Day one of class would have contact info for the prof and some fellow students and a lot of notes.  Each progressive day of class had fewer notes and more doodles.  Usually, by halfway through the class, my notebooks largely comprised of "Silent But Deadly: the continuing Adventures of the Kung Fu Mime!" and similar artistic endeavors.

Not too useful for people looking to crib notes...


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## Aurora

How do you know German? Did you just decide to take it in school? Why German? We should probably all be learning Chinese.....


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## Dannyalcatraz

When I was a child, my Dad got stationed in Stuttgart, Germany for 3 years.

Mom wasn't fooled by this "The Army made me do it!" excuse and tracked him down- so I got 3 years of learning German from Germans, which I followed up by continuing my education in it.


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## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> How do you know German? Did you just decide to take it in school? Why German? We should probably all be learning Chinese.....




Why Chinese?  With all the immigrants from the south, I'd assume Spanish would be the best second language.  Although in Minnesota, we're getting enough Somali immigrants where that could be another useful langauge [though we're not yet at that point; they seem to keep mainly in their own small groups].


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## Dannyalcatraz

Why Chinese?

2 Billion+ speakers.  Growing economy.  Superpower.  Cheap consumer goods.  Intellectual Property piracy.

Tasty food.


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## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> Why Chinese?  With all the immigrants from the south, I'd assume Spanish would be the best second language.  Although in Minnesota, we're getting enough Somali immigrants where that could be another useful langauge [though we're not yet at that point; they seem to keep mainly in their own small groups].



Every 3 months the Chinese graduate 10,000 hackers from their elite training schools. What country do you think the majority of these 10K will be using their skills on? Guess how many hackers the US trains every 3 months for cyberspace defense? None. The US spent billions of dollars on a "cyberspace defense" that is crap. And yes, this is all unclassified information. And that's not even going into the ghost internet box that they have posession of. The moral of the story: learn Chinese.

Is that too political? All I did was state facts. I can go back and edit it if need be. Nobody quote me just in case I need to edit. 

I changed a few things to make it less political.


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## Jdvn1

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Why Chinese?
> 
> 2 Billion+ speakers.  Growing economy.  Superpower.  Cheap consumer goods.  Intellectual Property piracy.
> 
> Tasty food.



I recently read China has a one trillion dollar surplus. I'm annoyed, but for reasons that I'm not allowed to go into.


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## Aurora

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> Tasty food.



Mmmmmm tasty food is right.


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## Jdvn1

Aurora said:
			
		

> Mmmmmm tasty food is right.



 ... I want seasame chicken!


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## Aurora

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> ... I want seasame chicken!



 






You know you love me.....


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## Dannyalcatraz

> I recently read China has a one trillion dollar surplus. I'm annoyed, but for reasons that I'm not allowed to go into.



_
(suspects that Jdvn-1 has spent a billion or so on importing sesame chicken, so its his own doggone fault, but he can't talk about it because he hasn't had a breakthrough in therapy)_


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## Aurora

You don't see the phrase "doggone" typed out too often......


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## Dog Moon

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> _
> (suspects that Jdvn-1 has spent a billion or so on importing sesame chicken, so its his own doggone fault, but he can't talk about it because he hasn't had a breakthrough in therapy)_




And that doesn't even include any of his clones!


----------



## Jdvn1

Aurora said:
			
		

> You know you love me.....



Same picture as before? Bah. The real thing looks better anyway.


----------



## Jdvn1

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> _
> (suspects that Jdvn-1 has spent a billion or so on importing sesame chicken, so its his own doggone fault, but he can't talk about it because he hasn't had a breakthrough in therapy)_



 So close and yet so far...


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## Aurora

Can't blame a girl for trying.


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## Dog Moon

Aurora said:
			
		

> You don't see the phrase "doggone" typed out too often......




That's because it only works when I'm not here, and since I'm addicted to EnWorld, I'm ALWAYS here.


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## Aurora

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> That's because it only works when I'm not here, and since I'm addicted to EnWorld, I'm ALWAYS here.



Dog Moon made a funny......


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## Jdvn1

Aurora said:
			
		

> Can't blame a girl for trying.



 Why not?


----------



## Aeson

Haven't you seen Firefly? Everyone will speak Chinese in the future.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Can't blame a girl for trying.



No but we will blame you for something.


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## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> No but we will blame you for something.



Sounds fun.


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## Aeson

Aurora said:
			
		

> Sounds fun.



I think I will blame you for the suckage that is Superman Returns and the end of two fairy tale marriages (britney & k-fed, pam & kidrock).

Ok Superman didn't suck that bad but it wasn't great either.


----------



## Aurora

Aeson said:
			
		

> I think I will blame you for the suckage that is Superman Returns and the end of two fairy tale marriages (britney & k-fed, pam & kidrock).
> 
> Ok Superman didn't suck that bad but it wasn't great either.



Bring it on!


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## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> Haven't you seen Firefly? Everyone will speak Chinese in the future.




No, they only curse in Chinese.


----------



## Dog Moon

Aeson said:
			
		

> No but we will blame you for something.




Like... lack of pics.


----------



## Dannyalcatraz

No, we must blame Kenneth MacAlpin/Cináed mac Ailpín. for the lack of Picts.

http://members.tripod.com/~Halfmoon/pict4
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Óengus_I_of_the_Picts


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## megamania

Aeson said:
			
		

> I think I will blame you for the suckage that is Superman Returns and the end of two fairy tale marriages (britney & k-fed, pam & kidrock).
> 
> Ok Superman didn't suck that bad but it wasn't great either.




Fairy tale marriages?   I thought they were more akin to nightmares....   oh yeah- the original fairy tales were a bit ...evil.


Superman Returns was more about what makes him human than Super.   For the next movie I say....

BRING ON DOOMSDAY!


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## Dannyalcatraz

I say...BRING ON MXYXYXPLX! (or however its spelled)...

I do know its pronounced..."Farve"  

or was that "Shar-day"?


----------



## megamania

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> I say...BRING ON MXYXYXPLX! (or however its spelled)...
> 
> I do know its pronounced..."Farve"
> 
> or was that "Shar-day"?




I liked how Smallville dealt with him.   Also showed how Clark is weakened by magic which is good.


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## megamania

Dog Moon said:
			
		

> No, they only curse in Chinese.




#@&*%$!!!!!!


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## Jdvn1

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> I say...BRING ON MXYXYXPLX! (or however its spelled)...
> 
> I do know its pronounced..."Farve"
> 
> or was that "Shar-day"?



 Is that like how "ghoti" is pronounced "fish"?


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> #@&*%$!!!!!!



Hey, cool, you got an ampersand in there!


----------



## megamania

#@^%&* is that?


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> #@^%&* is that?



The &


----------



## megamania

Frukathka said:
			
		

> The &




The "And"   Hey-   I'm &y....   I must be tired.  That isn't really that funny.


----------



## Angel Tarragon

megamania said:
			
		

> The "And"   Hey-   I'm &y....   I must be tired.  That isn't really that funny.



At least I'm getting a laugh out of it!!


----------



## megamania

Always at one's service....


----------



## megamania

Stightly twist of subject but I am thourghly enjoying Marvel Comic's 'Civil War'.   Its about a superhero/villian battle that goes bad....very bad.   The result is over 600 innocent people (mostly elementary children) died on national TV.  The government immediately set a super powers registration Act where ALL heroes and villians MUST registar with the government.  Name, Powers everything.

Many heroes say no.  Its our Civil right to get our identities a secret.  Captain America is the head of rebellious heroes that want nothing to do with this.  They have become public enemy #1.

Heroes and villians looking for a full pardon, agree.  They are lead by Iron man.  The government, which has them now, says-  "go bring in the bad guys."   The bad guys being Captain America and others.

Every team has broken up, Mr and Mrs. Richards (Fantastic Four) have seperated over fighting about the decisions / rights of people.  

Spider-man....caught up in Iron Mans hospiltality becomes the poster child of the Registration Act.  On National TV he reveals his ID to all.  Jameson has a major fit.

Course now... he has changed his mind and now is on the run from everyone.

Things to come of it....  Hulk teleported to another galaxy.   He is NOT impressed.  Comes out Ironman and Mr. Fantastic has cloned Thor and unleashed him on the rebellious heroes.  Killed one the first time out.

and we are only 1/2 way through at this point.


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