# Fall '03 Iron DM Tournament -- Wulf Ratbane is Iron DM!



## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

Here's where the tournament itself will be; I'll be editing this post as time goes on. The initial signup thread (with questions about the tournament) is here.


The rules:



> Simple. We get 8 people willing to play (and 3 alternates). I pair people off as competitors and give them a set of 6 "ingredients".
> 
> The ingredients are elements that must be used in the designing of a scenario/adventure - which should be written up in overview form - players can be as specific as they like - but detailed stat-blocks and the like are not weighed as heavily as uniqueness and playability of the ideas.
> 
> ...



The contestants:
*Nemmerle*
*Dave Turner*
*Nifft*
*Wicht*
*Macbeth*
*Rune*
*Mythago*
*Cool Hand Luke*

The alternates:
*Lightful*
*Wulf Ratbane*
*humble minion*
*Berandor*

Matches so far:
*Dave Turner vs. Nemmerle -- Nemmerle wins!*
*Wicht vs. Nifft -- Wicht wins!*
*Rune vs. Macbeth -- Rune wins!*
*Mythago vs. Cool Hand Luke -- Cool Hand Luke screws up the deadline and forfeits, and is replaced by Wulf Ratbane -- Wulf Ratbane wins!*
*Wulf Ratbane is the Champion!*
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 13, 2003)

Come on, Come on

I have a boring corporate meeting at 1 - and I need something to do to diminish the desire to kill my boss with a stapler.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

First round:  *Dave Turner* vs. *Nemmerle*!

Your ingredients are:
*Funeral*
*Insane Unicorn*
*Shadow Mastiff*
*Broken Teeth*
*Slow transformation*
*Betrayal*

You have 24 hours from the time-stamp on this post to turn in your entry.  Remember, editing after you've posted results in disqualification -- do your spellchecking first, and use the preview button.

Good luck!
Daniel


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## Dave Turner (Oct 13, 2003)

Very groovy ingredients!  Best of luck, nemmerle!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

Okay, a couple more questions.

First, would a mod (Nem, maybe?) be willing to go back to the last thread and correct my link to this thread?  It went all funky, and now that the thread is closed, I can't fix it.

Second, Wulf requested a field of sixteen instead of eight.  I can handle that, but I'll only do it if I get unanimous consent from all current players.

What say you guys?
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 13, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Okay, a couple more questions.
> 
> First, would a mod (Nem, maybe?) be willing to go back to the last thread and correct my link to this thread?  It went all funky, and now that the thread is closed, I can't fix it.
> 
> ...




I can take care of the link.

My concern with 16 is that it would take too long to finish - and while I may have time to compete for the next week or so. . . the further it goes the more likely that work will begin to pile up again and scheduling rounds will be increasingly more difficult.


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## Rune (Oct 13, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Okay, a couple more questions.
> 
> First, would a mod (Nem, maybe?) be willing to go back to the last thread and correct my link to this thread?  It went all funky, and now that the thread is closed, I can't fix it.
> 
> ...





The tournament will drag on for much longer, if you do that.  Your call though, as far as I'm concerned.  I'd only do it if I knew I had the alternates already.  On the other hand, I've never had a chance to test my mettle against Wulf...  (Nor, Nemm, for that matter, but he's already in.)

By the way, if you want to do a second one today, I'm good to go.


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## Wicht (Oct 13, 2003)

I don’t care if there is 16.  And I also can go now if you want to do 2 at a time.


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## Dave Turner (Oct 13, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> My concern with 16 is that it would take too long to finish - and while I may have time to compete for the next week or so. . . the further it goes the more likely that work will begin to pile up again and scheduling rounds will be increasingly more difficult.



This is my fear as well.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

Thanks for fixing the link.  And that takes care of the "unanimous consent" thing -- sorry, *Wulf*!  If anyone has other ideas for alternate activities, I'm open to hearing them.

I'd like to not do rounds simultaneously:  when reading the tournaments, I find it confusing to read simultaneous rounds.  So there's always going to be only one round happening.  As much as possible, I'd like it to be about one round per day.  I'll post a space-saver post after both round entries appear, and slot my judgement into that post later, so that readers can follow along more easily; once I've made a judgement, I'll post again telling folks to go back and find the judgement.  (Hope that makes sense -- when it happens, it should be pretty clear).

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 13, 2003)

Sixteen _could_ drag, but the folks here seem pretty motivated. It is up to the judge to keep things moving. The danger with sixteen would be moving it so fast that some of the sixteen can't keep up, flake out, and then there are no alternates.

But assuming all goes well, it's only one extra match for the people at the top of the bracket. (That's you, isn't it, nemm?)

There isn't really any more waiting around involved provided the judge can process the entries. It's invisible to the folks in bracket A what the folks in bracket B are doing, if they are run concurrently.

Two big benefits: (1) twice as many adventures in this thread when it's all done (for the loyal readers), and (2) I get to play. 


Wulf


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## Nifft (Oct 13, 2003)

16's fine with me, but could be a logistical issue for you, Pie.

 -- N, ready to go now if someone else is up for it


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

If we end up doing sixteen contestants, I'll do simultaneous rounds, even though I don't like them as a reader. Otherwise, I think it's handleable to do one round per day: it's easier on the reader, and still enables us to finish the tournament in as little as one week, if schedules work out.

edit:  just so it's clear, it seems very unlikely to me we'll do sixteen contestants, given that several current contestants have said they want it to be limited to eight, and I'll only do it if I get unanimous consent from those eight to make a change.

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 13, 2003)

Ok, no problem.

I guess my thought with 16 was that, with so many folks ready to go right now, you could process the first round pretty fast and whittle back down to 8 in a jiffy.

As it turns out, Daniel is not the Iron Ref I was looking for-- in fact, at one entry a day, he's running slower than most.   

But it's no big deal, I've fought for the integrity of the setup before. Eight is fine-- keeps it special. As much as I want to play I wouldn't recommend an alternate bracket/thread or anything like that.

I can wait a few months for another. Gotta set my computer clock forward 4 minutes, apparently...

Wulf


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## el-remmen (Oct 13, 2003)

If we do 16 and simultaneous rounds - why not ask contenders to pre-create posts for their entries and then email you their entries before editing the post to add the entry - thus you know when it was really completed by _and_ the thread is still neat. . . and/or stagger them so entries will tend to come in 6 hours after each other.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> As it turns out, Daniel is not the Iron Ref I was looking for-- in fact, at one entry a day, he's running slower than most.



Hey, I look out for my readers.  Ideally, I'd like to see the contest thread have the following posts in sequence:
* Judge gives out ingredients
* Entry #1
* Entry #2
* Judgement

with nothing in between.  The only way I can see doing that, however, would be to set up another thread in which I reposted everything and nobody else posted anything; if I did that, then I could do simultaneous rounds.  The pace isn't my limitation -- it's my confusion as a reader.

Daniel


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## cool hand luke (Oct 13, 2003)

I can't go today, but any day after this should be fine.

I would like to see a 12 person tourny, with the previous 4 winners getting byes.

16 is fine with me, I need the practice.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

*Nem*, that's an intriguing suggestion.  It does open up the whole editing can of worms, though.

Staggering entries could also work.  If we do that, I'd need to ask people not to post their entry too early, though:  if I schedule a simultaneous round to begin at 5 pm EDT tonight, for example, the folks in that round would just need to make sure not to post their entry before 12:28 pm EDT tomorrow, so as not to have their entries interspersed with y'all's.

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 13, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> The only way I can see doing that, however, would be to set up another thread in which I reposted everything and nobody else posted anything.




The _moderatus emeritus_ can always delete intervening posts and tidy up the thread.

As for timing the entries, some entrants are faster than others, some like to post right at the wire. I don't see that "All entries should be posted by 12:00 PM EST" is all that different than "All entries must be posted between 6:00 and 12:00 PM EST."

It may make scheduling a bit trickier for some folks, if they only have computer access during a certain timeframe.


Wulf


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## Macbeth (Oct 13, 2003)

Wow, go to Chem class for an hour and suddenly the old thread has two more pages, and this new thread is open. Just finished getting up to speed, glad to see I'm in, and I'm ready for a matchup.


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## Berandor (Oct 13, 2003)

Just to weigh in on that issue, I wouldn't want 16 players.
Now, don't get me wrong, I would totally play if it came to that, but I think our most noble and gracious judge is right: a clear posting format is preferable to more players. 

Likewise, staggered entries would still lead to either confusion in posts or problematic scheduling because of the different time zones we are in.

As I said, I would still enter, but solely because I simply want to play. As it stands, I'd rather wait till next year and enjoy this year's competition without any confusion. 

Also, perhaps my luck would change and nemmerle would totally lose against me? That wouldn't be fun, would it?


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## Rune (Oct 13, 2003)

Let me be clear about my position on the 16 vs. 8 person tourney...

If you run rounds simultaneously, I'm all for 16, but I'd like to point out that it does add another round of judging, which can be a real drain, especially on the folk who make it all the way through.

I've done four rounds before, and it's very tough, but then, so have you.

On the other hand, toughness is what the tournament is all about, no?


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

At this point, I think I'm going to rule out both simultaneous matchups and a 16-person round.  I would definitely consider both for the next tournament I run, and kind of wish I'd suggestd a 16-person match to begin with, but I think trying to change the format for the game after it's already started is begging for confusion.

I do have plenty of ingredients left over -- almost 120 ingredients, when I only need 42 -- so if there's any interest in a side tournament or something, I'll be glad to do that.  But for now, I think this tournament's rules are finalized.

Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 13, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> The _moderatus emeritus_ can always delete intervening posts and tidy up the thread.
> 
> As for timing the entries, some entrants are faster than others, some like to post right at the wire. I don't see that "All entries should be posted by 12:00 PM EST" is all that different than "All entries must be posted between 6:00 and 12:00 PM EST."
> 
> ...




But scheduling _is_ a big deal.  I will not (for instance), under any circumstances, be able to post any later than about 4:30 EST, nor earlier than 8:00.  Nor will I be able to post on Saturdays or Sundays.  I'm fine with not having 24 hours to do an entry, but I've got to have some flexibility to post within.


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## mythago (Oct 13, 2003)

12? 16? Bring 'em on!


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 13, 2003)

I'm not playing, but I say you should keep it limited to 8. If you expand it, then you have to find more alternates, and frankly it will just be TOO MUCH. Iron DM (reading or playing) is like candy. You want as much as possible, but you really shouldn't be allowed. Having 8 contestents adds up to 14 different entries that have to be judged, and that should really be more than enough.

Also, if we have 16 people, there will be 30 total entries. I can't help but think that the quality (and bastard-ness) of the judging would suffer, if not from time constraints and cutting corners, then from _boredom_ after doing the first 20 or so entries.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

Crap!
Crap crap crap crap crap!

I completely messed up.  One of the ingredients in the first round was supposed to be, in honor of Nem's request, 

*A Bye*

What's the fun of being a rat-bastard if you forget about your rat-bastard plans?

Sheesh.
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 13, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Crap!
> Crap crap crap crap crap!
> 
> I completely messed up.  One of the ingredients in the first round was supposed to be, in honor of Nem's request,
> ...




Uh, is that being _officially_ added?  Because I uh, am almost done with my entry


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

No, I'm not adding it -- I'm just kicking myself for not adding it when I had a chance.  

Just to be perfectly clear, even if it appears in either entry, I won't take it into consideration when judging.  I just wanted a chance to poke at Nem is all.

Daniel


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## Dave Turner (Oct 13, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Uh, is that being _officially_ added?  Because I uh, am almost done with my entry



LOL, I'm still brainstorming my entry.  I'm keen to see your results, "Goliath".  

EDIT: changed "the" to "your" in second sentence.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> EDIT: changed "the" to "your" in second sentence.



NO EDITING!

Oh, wait -- that wasn't your entry. Never mind.

Daniel


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 13, 2003)

Dave- if he posts early, you're better off not reading his post before completing and posting yours. It messes with the free flow of ideas to see what somebody else has done.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

What Merak said, plus reading the other person's post before yours is turned in is a violation of the rules (albeit one that's only enforced through the honor system).

I won't be posting anything important between now and the time that the first two entries come in; if the two contestants currently in the hotseat want to stay away from the thread until they're ready to post their entries, they needn't fear missing anything.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 13, 2003)

But talking smack is part of my strategy and how can I do that if I stay away?

For example, am I _really_ almost done or did I simply want to plant that idea in my honorable opponent's mind?    

Either way, don't expect to see my entry before noon tomorrow.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 13, 2003)

Stay, go, it's all the same to me!  Just wanted to let you know that you don't need to be watching the thread for last-minute additions of ingredients or anything like that.

Smack away!
Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 14, 2003)

Just bumping this up from page 3 for the convenience of our players


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## Berandor (Oct 14, 2003)

Two hours left to go, folks!

tic.
tic.
tic.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 14, 2003)

I know -- I'm pretty excited to see what folks do with their ingredients.

Meanwhile, I'll probably try to get the second match started as soon as both entries from the first match are in. Heads up to contestants: if you want to play today, be watching the thread for your chance, which will probably come shortly after noon when I ask for the next two contestants.

As before, I'll ask each person to choose three numbers between one and twenty, thereby indirectly choosing half of the ingredients for the round.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 14, 2003)

Pie,

Why not get the next round started now if people are ready?  Since there is no way either of them would post before round one is posted - and it will help to save _some_ time by staggering things that way.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 14, 2003)

Because I'm anal-retentive, and want all the posts from one match to appear before beginning the posts for the next match.  Once both entries are in, I'll put in a judgement-slot-holding post, and then recruit the next two contestants.  It'll delay the second round by two hours, an acceptable delay.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 14, 2003)

There goes my hope of getting in the second round by the end of the weekend.  








Thought I was going to post my entry, didn't ya?


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## Berandor (Oct 14, 2003)

Yes, nemmerle, I did.

Then I realized you probably haven't finished yet. But have you even begun?


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## Dave Turner (Oct 14, 2003)

I fear that my entry has got the best of me.  

While the ideas for all the ingredients have all fallen into place, I'm unable to properly tie them together into a good cohesive whole.  I've got lots of interesting pieces, but they're a bit jumbled together.  I wish I could have offered a better challenge to nemmerle, but I don't think this will quite stack up.  I'm out of time and haven't been able to blend the ideas together as I would have liked.  Still, it would be unfair not to at least post the parts I do have and accept what criticism I can.  

Iron DM is truly difficult and my hat is off to all those who made it past the first round.  Without further ado, my work-in-progress:

The Ingredients:
<b>
Funeral
Insane Unicorn
Shadow Mastiff
Broken Teeth
Slow transformation
Betrayal
</b>

<i>A Brief Note of Introduction</i>
As a DM, I tend towards a strong improvisational style that emphasizes flexibility in the face of player choice and in the actual events of the adventure itself.  As a result, I prefer to detail the important NPCs and their motivations, devise a general course of events which would occur if the PCs never became involved, and plan a few interesting encounters.  I don't usually pre-establish when a given NPC will be met or even when a particular set-piece encounter will occur.  In the interests of adapting my usual style to something that other DMs might use and enjoy, I've added a bit more structure while still showing some of my particular style.  I hope you enjoy my ideas.

<b>Changing of the Guard</b>
A short adventure for 7th-9th level characters

<b>Overview</b>

In this adventure, the PCs are drawn into a desperate situation within the Whispering Deep, a primeval forest that gets its name from the near-constant rustling of the wind through the trees.  The Heart of the Forest has been corrupted and is gradually spreading the taint to every living thing within its borders.  Every creature and plant in the Whispering Deep is connected to the Heart and this unbreakable bond is the conduit for the taint (<b>slow transformation</b>).  A powerful shade named Bereth has taken control of the Heart of the Forest and woven strands of shadow energy from the Plane of Shadow into the Heart.  This has led to the gradual transformation of many of the creatures and plants of the Whispering Deep into shadowy, sinister versions of their natural selves.  A small group of uncorrupted fey are desperately searching for a means to save themselves and their forest before it is completely transformed.  The situation is made more difficult by the seeming loss of Whispering Deep's Protector, the unicorn named Nyrith.

Nyrith has protected the Whispering Deep against dozens of threats large and small over the past few centuries.  The unicorn has never failed even in the face of overwhelming odds.  But the few remaining pure fey have come to realize that their Protector will not save them this time.  It will fall to the PCs to rescue the Whispering Deep and to repair the damage to the Heart of the Forest.

<b>Major NPCs</b>

<i>Nyrith</i>
Nyrith is the Protector of Whispering Deep.  He is an extremely ancient unicorn who has lived much longer than virtually any others of his kind.  The Heart of the Forest has always chosen a unicorn as Its Protector and Nyrith has served in that post longer than any other.  Nyrith derives much of his power and longevity from his connection to the Heart.  He commands near-total obedience from all creatures in the Deep and is a lone and tireless guardian who has devoted his life to the safety of the Deep and all its inhabitants.

Sadly, it is the long centuries of service that have inadvertently led to Nyrith's madness (<b>insane unicorn</b>).  The Heart of the Forest only chooses unicorns as Protectors and as the years have gone by, a new unicorn has never come to the Deep to replace Nyrith.  Slowly but surely, Nyrith has been driven mad by his isolation and extended service as Protector.  The Heart has extended Nyrith's life far beyond the natural lifespan of a unicorn and Nyrith has spiralled into dangerous senility as a result.

Nyrith is blinded by his role as Protector and is nearly delerious with grief over the changes sweeping the Deep.  His body is far past its prime and Nyrith is now a very poor and weak fighter.  He no longer has the strength or speed to defeat the shadowy threats to the forest.  He continues to delude himself into thinking that he is actually fighting brave and glorious battles against his foes, but these are hallucinations.  In actuality, he is in hiding, as the tiny slice of rationality left to him urges him to simply stay alive.  In his few lucid moments, he recognizes that he is betraying his identity and his duty, but is unable to rouse himself to seek help.  He is the Protector and must fight on behalf of the creatures of Whispering Deep, facing the danger alone so that they might live.  Nyrith is the key to restoring the Heart of the Forest and knows what must be done to save the Deep but cannot bring himself to do it.  There is no other unicorn in the Deep to take up Nyrith's mantle and so he must endure, must protect, at all costs.

<i>Stratus</i>
Stratus is a satyr and the reluctant leader of the small band of remaining pure fey in Whispering Deep.  Most of the fey have become corrupted by shadow through their link to the Heart of the Forest.  Stratus and his fellow pure fey have managed to resist the shadow till now, but they know that it is only a matter of time before they are overwhelmed.

Stratus was well-known even before the arrival of the shade Bereth.  A large tribe of ogres tried to move into Whispering Deep a few decades ago and Stratus fought a vigorous one-satyr guerilla war against them, slaughtering most and driving the survivors out of the Deep.  While these actions earned him praise, he was equally despised in some circles over the jealous slaying of a dryad who had chanced to fall in love with a human trapper rather than him.  Stratus is decisive, resilient, vain, and proud.  He will recognize the opportunity that the PCs represent, but will show reluctance and doubt about their capabilities and intentions.  The PCs will need to earn his trust, since the remaining pure fey will follow his lead.

<i>Bereth</i>
Bereth is a ranger/shade who has returned to the Whispering Deep to seize the power of the Heart of the Forest.  In his youth, Bereth wandered the trails and streams of the Deep, gradually gaining the acceptance of the animals and fey of the forest.  Bereth was mortally wounded while defending a sprite from the jaws of a harpy and was found by Nyrith as the unicorn arrived late to the site of the battle.  Impressed with the human's sacrifice, Nyrith brought Bereth to the Heart of the Forest where he was saved from death.  Some of the fey considered revealing the Heart's existence to Bereth to be a mistake despite his defense of the sprite.  Their fears were tragically confirmed years later (<b>Betrayal</b>).

Bereth joined a company of adventurers and left the Deep for a time.  In the depths of distant ruins, his company fought to prevent a gate to the Plane of Shadow from being opened.  Unfortunately, they did not succeed and Bereth was infused with shadow, becoming a shade and turning to evil.  Bereth became obsessed with finding a new site that could be used to open a more powerful conduit to the Plane of Shadow and his black mind immediately thought of the Heart.

Bereth has established a temporary lair in the mossy caves that contain the Heart of the Forest.  He has expended much of his shadow essence in fueling the transformation of the Heart and is reluctant to leave the caves for fear of his safety.  His animal companion was a wolf named Swift-Foot who has been transformed into a <b>shadow mastiff</b>.  Swift-Foot has quickly gone among the wolves of Whispering Deep and facillitated their own transformations into shadow mastiffs.  Roving packs of shadow mastiffs are now a primary threat of the Deep.

<i>Argen</i>
Argen is a young female centaur and the sole remaining pure centaur in the Deep.  She barely escaped with her life when her entire family succumbed to shadow and tried to kill her.  She wandered the forest for days, dodging the shadow fey and creatures that now fill the Deep.  Stratus found her huddled inside the hollow trunk of an enormous fallen tree and managed to convince her that he was still pure.

Stratus believes that Argen is crucial to saving the Heart of the Forest and Whispering Deep.  He has refused to share with her his thoughts and it makes Argen extremely nervous.  Considering Stratus' reputation, she isn't sure whether or not she can trust Stratus.  He has promised that he has a plan that can save her family, but she is quite terrified and is considering leaving the Deep altogether.  

<b>The Hooks</b>
The PCs can become aware of the situation inside Whispering Deep a number of ways.  What's important is that the PCs decide to enter the Deep and investigate the strange happenings within:

- There is a small hamlet on the edge of Whisperind Deep called Pinedown.  The PCs are passing through Pinedown to some other destination and find a community gripped by terror.  There have been nightly raids by all manner of shadow creatures (including <b>shadow mastiffs</b>) over the past few weeks and many people have died.  The Pinedowners are on the verge of fleeing their homes and urge the PCs to venture into the Deep and put a stop to the attacks.  They tell the PCs about the Deep Pool and how to find it, since they have visited the Deep Pool in the past to seek Nyrith's help when other threats emerged from the forest.

- The PCs are travelling through Whispering Deep and find a twisted, pain-wracked dryad on the path.  She is in the process of being transformed into her shadow form and she pleads with the PCs to kill her.  She urges them to find Nyrith so that the Deep can be saved.  If asked about Nyrith or where to find him, she tells them to search for the Deep Pool, which is found at the lowest point in the forest.  Due to her connection with the Heart of the Forest, this transformation cannot be halted by the PCs.  If they do not kill her, she will complete the transformation in 10 minutes and flee to PCs (only to battle them at the end of the adventure).

<b>Key Events</b>

The general flow of the adventure is that the PCs must slay Nyrith so that the only remaining source of untainted Heart-power can be reintroduced to the Heart and reversing the effects of the shadow-taint.  Usually, the Heart will only transfer the power of the Protector to a unicorn.  Nyrith knows this and has therefore shied away from actually battling any shadow minions, for he believes that his death will doom the Deep.  He knows that he isn't strong enough to personally fight his way to the Heart and has subsequently convinced himself that he must stay away from the Heart at all costs.

Stratus has another view, however.  He knows that the power of the Protector will transfer to another unicorn if the current Protector is slain in the Heart Chamber.  There is a short incantation and observance that must be uttered for the transfer to occur, which all fey instinctively know through their connection to the Heart.  If Nyrith can be slain and the proper rituals performed (<b>funeral</b>), then a new Protector will be born.  Without another unicorn, however, Stratus has struck upon a desperate plan: he will try to use Argen as the receiver of the Protector's power.  Once Argen is the Protector, she can do what Nyrith's madness prevents him from doing, namely channeling the remaining pure Heart-power left back into the Heart and removing the shadow corruption.

The highlights of the adventure should be:

- Coming to grips with Nyrith's betrayal of the Deep and madness.  He remains deluded till the very end and the PCs will have to come up with a way to trick him or capture him and bringing him to the Heart Chamber for his death and funeral.

- A test of the PCs mettle by Stratus and the pure fey.  It would be a set piece encounter with a nest of nasty shadow monsters.

- An initial betrayal by Nyrith.  Nyrith fears that the PCs will become corrupted by shadow and lures them into a fight they might not win by promising to back them up against a corrupted treant.  During a critical moment in the fight, Nyrith teleports away in the hope that the PCs are wiped out.

- A battle into the caves containing the Heart of the Forest, which is actually a swirling and shining ball of luminous green and black sap in the center of a vast chamber draped in roots deep in some caves.  Bereth and his strongest minions provide stiff resistance.

- Nyrith refusing to do what actually needs to be done right till the bitter end.

- Argen successfully becoming the new Protector and gaining a unicorn's horn on her forehead and a transformation into white from brown.  She is able to reverse the damage to the Heart.

Once again, I'm sorry that I didn't put up a better entry.  I was simply unable to weave what I had together.


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## Dave Turner (Oct 14, 2003)

I'm trying to post my entry in another window and it's hanging.  Is there a word-limit or something that I'm bumping up against?


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## el-remmen (Oct 14, 2003)

IRON DM – Round One – Nemmerle vs. The Other Guy

*Ingredients* (_and how they were used_)
--------------------------------------------------------------
Funeral (_The funeral of a great and heroic druid/ranger is the climax impetus for the adventure’s events)_)
Insane Unicorn (_An evil unicorn from an alternate Prime and its counterpart from this world switch places more than once, this giving the impression of being erratic_)
Shadow Mastiff (_These hounds serve as clues of the bleed between the primes and also are used to show how normal roles twisted in the “Dark Realm”_)
Broken Teeth (_The site of the funeral goes by this name_)
Slow Transformation (_One prime may be slowly transformed into another_)
Betrayal (_The Main villain betrays his former mistress due to his own hubris_)

*Backstory:*

The great woodland guardian and warrior, Elhonna Ber-Raysel died recently (supposedly of natural causes and those that knew her knew she always said she would not prolong her life or fight any disease with magic that she had contracted by natural means).  A great heroine of those honor and revere the woodland, her name is well known among those of power in that part of the world, and is known for having a great network of former followers and allies that have aided her on her various adventures and unsung victories over evil forces that would seek to destroy or pervert the world of nature.

Among her greatest (and least known of adventures) involved her stopping the invasion of this world by malevolent nature forces from an alternate Prime where the darker and crueler aspects of nature hold sway.  This dark mirror Universe of that the party exists in has counterparts for beasts and people that can be found in this "balanced" universe.  (It is important to note, however, that there are not evil goateed counterparts for every person and being in that other world - but rather there are people or beings that hold similar but opposed roles).  This dark universe holds up the hunt and role of predator above all others, and even malevolent plant life has developed in great numbers of the kind that developed in rarer cases in this world (hangman trees, etc. . .)

The site of the final battle of this epic quest to save the natural balance of the primes was at a place of standing stones called *The Broken Teeth* - really the more than half-buried calcified skull of a huge and ancient dragon.  As a nexus between the two worlds, it is a place of great but often unpredictable power.  It is also where the *funeral* of Elhonna Ber-Raysel will take place.

Ostensibley, Knarr Ben-Hassa, the druid/ranger's closest follower and ally chose this place as a way to honor his late mistress, but the truth is that the funeral is the final step in a serious *Betrayal* long in the making.   

Knarr, a mighty warrior and ranger in his own right, spent the last ten years in that alternate prime.  But a young man who saw little action back when the epic quest happened, he always desired to test his mettle against the beasts, evil huntsmen and wild barbarians of that dark world.  Claiming he was leaving his mistress to seek his own fortunes, he really sought away to enter that other world, and succeeding he found that he took to it very well - and soon its cruelty and ever-vigilance infected him - for he had little choice but to live as men did in that world if he hoped to survive.  He might not have ever returned, but the process by which he had succeeded in entering the other world, required that he trade places with a counterpart in the dark world - and when that counterpart died he was forced back.   

Now Knarr, a dark and twisted version of his former self, could not return to other prime in body, but he could bring aspects of it to this world -and attempt what his mistress had put a stop to decades before - enacting a *slow transformation* of this world into something more like that, but with one big step to start it off.

*Hooks*

There are several ways the PCs could become involved in this adventure: 

- They could be sent in the place of a favored employer or mentor who cannot make it to the site of funeral which is in a lush valley between some distant mountains.

- They could have met Elhonna Ber-Raysel in the past having worked for her, or she could have aided them and now they want to pay their respects.

- Seeking to travel safely through that area of the continent they could hook up with the great number of pilgrims and adventurers heading there, only being at the funeral by coincidence (regardless, the GM should suggest they travel with the pilgrims, or meet the pilgrims along the way).

- The party could be seeking some other object or item that might now be available for purchase or trade now that Elhonna is dead for some mission of their own.

- Making contacts, many other adventurers, sages, priests and ambassadors of sylvan races will be going to this funeral - what better way to meet new people and gain new information and contacts for future adventures.

- One or more PCs could be on a quest of their own, having received a vision from a nature god or a good god of the hunt they worship and is making a pilgrimage to the "Broken Teeth" for their own reasons.


*Knarr Ben-Hassa's Plan*

Knarr took to worshipping the dark hunter god from the alternate prime, and thus now has levels of cleric, however, the distance between the realms makes it so that he can only prepare his spells by doing so at the broken teeth and making sacrifices of animals/people/being - the sacrifice of the animal at that place allows for a dark version of that animal/person/being to come into this world - thus making the dark hunter god more powerful in this realm as well.   Since his return he has sacrificed a great number of animals, and allowed their replacements to go free - withholding his own desire to hunt them in order to let them spread havoc and prey on other animals and hopefully breed as well - for in that dark world any two animals can breed creating twisted versions of the animals (in fact owlbears are said to be creatures of that world).   His greatest sacrifice will be Elhonna Ber-Raysell who is not dead at all, but rather in a deep form of catelepsy brought on by a poison her fed to her.  In the mummy wraps she still breathes and when the pyre consumes her the destruction of the great enemy of the dark hunting realms and guardian of this world will trigger an exchange of great magnitude - allowing the summoning of the "Master of the Hunt" - a kind of anti-saint figure of the other realm that appears on certain nights with his hounds and servants to track down and ravage all that get in their ways.  Unfortunately, the great exchange will mean that the other powerful adventurers who have come for the funeral will be sent into the dark realm - leaving them (and however many folks the DM wants to leave behind from among these people's entourages) behind to deal with this infernal menace.   The idea being that the PCs are not well known enough of adventurers (or were not expect to come, depending on the hook used) for Knarr to have prepared for their transference.

*Sacrifices*: The animal sacrifices do not involve killing the animal, but actually draining some of its blood and replacing it with essence of black berries that grow in the shadow of the broken teeth, which have been slowly changed into a type of fruit found in the dark realm.  These berries were also used to make the wine that Knarr Ben-Hassa uses to toast Elhonna and prepare those who have come to the funeral for their transference to the Dark Realm.   When a Dark Realm creature is killed in this Prime, its body fades away and the creature from this realm is returned (though not necessarily in the same place), but not vice-versa since the plane of origin of the sacrifice determines that.

*Creatures of the Dark Realm*: The animals and other creatures from the alternate Dark Realm (henceforth being referred to as simple The Dark Realm (until I can think of a better name) tend to be larger and more intelligent than their equivalents from the PC’s world.  In addition, the DM should apply the shadow template (from Manual of the Planes) to the creatures, however, the Plane Shift ability should not be available to them.  They are as likely to hunt each other as they are to hunt creatures of this Prime – and will take great joy in the ease with which they can hunt men and other traditionally sentient creatures – and do not hunt simply to eat – but because killing and mutilating actually brings them joy.


As the party gets closer to the broken teeth, there will be a handful of encounters involving dark denizens of that other realm - which might clue them into what is going on. . .


*The Insane Unicorn*


As the PCs travel to the Broken Teeth, whether it be with a group of pilgrims or on their own (or perhaps on the road as they seek to meet up pilgrims) the DM should find a way for them to stop through the village of Jessen.

_Possible Mini-Hooks for this Encounter include:_

-- Needing to resupply for the journey, including gathering fresh water or food.

-- The village of Jessen could be where the party is supposed to wait for pilgrims to be shown the way.

-- One of the less capable pilgrims (perhaps a sage or ambassador) asks the party to leave the pilgrims temporarily to visit the village.  They could want to visit a distant relative, visit a shrine or perhaps the village is on the edge of the lands claimed by “the king”

The PCs will find the town in a mixture of uproar and sorrow, for recently three young women have been killed, their hearts impaled, and their skulls crushed by hooves.  The people tell the tale of an *Insane Unicorn*, who appears as the golden mythical creature that had helped protect their town and their young in the past, but who drew the young women deep into the woods and then brutally killed them.

Elhonna Ber-Raysel had among her allies and followers a unicorn called Arrowheart.  This was one of the first creatures that Knarr Ben-Hassa sacrificed – and in his place came a golden and evil unicorn – dark and twisted as any creature from that other realm, it takes great delight in using its pleasing shape to draw children and young women to secluded places where it kills them and then feeds on the grasses doused in blood.

Of course, the PCs are likely to believe there is some kind of mistake or that the unicorn (which when finally spotted should be described to be the incarnation of any legendary description of Arrowheart) the PCs might have heard) has been ensorcelled somehow.  They could not be more wrong.  The unicorn should have maximum hit points and its powers should be against good not evil (of course).  Instead of its ability to remove poison, it should be able to use _Hypnotism_ at will.  This is in addition to whatever shadow powers the unicorn has for having the shadow template added to it.

The DM should play out the hunt for the unicorn for all it is worth; with the creature using all the guile and trickery it can muster to lead the PCs to their death. However, since it is from another world, it has not yet figured out that other may think of it as a benevolent creature – used to using it powers to summon others for its evil glee in killing – so it cannot use this to its advantage.  And yet, it does have one advantage over the PCs, it knows of another creature from its realm, a dire bear that is hunting it (and that would really threaten to destroy the whole village).  The unicorn will try to lead the PCs to blunder into the bear, and then immediately teleport (if it can still do that this day) back to the village to use its hypnotism to draw another child out of one of the cottages.

This encounter should provide some clues that all is not well in this area.  The PCs may believe (erroneously, but still perhaps fruitfully) that the insane unicorn is none other than the actual Arrowheart – leading them to think that something strange is going on with Elhonna Ber-Raysel’s death.  In addition, the bear, like the other animals from the dark realm, is particularly vicious and intelligent – and like the other creatures of it’s world, immune to a ranger’s animal empathy skill and possessing shadowy qualities.  Lastly, when these creatures are killed their bodies fade away – somewhere else their counterparts from this world reappear – perhaps still alive – or perhaps dead.  A true Rat Bastard DM would have the still living true Arrowheart return – but the PCs may believe that the insane unicorn cannot be really killed or try to kill it again.  Also, its change in demeanor will certainly make it appear even more insane than it did when it was simply a homicidal horned equine.  [Also see “the Funeral”]

*The Slaughtered Herd*

As the PCs (again, either on their own or as part of a group of pilgrims) travel through the mountain pass nearing the Broken Teeth, they will hear the baying of hounds in the distance a few times, and any pack animals or horses will become skittish – perhaps one or more might take off over a precipice in fear – taking a bunch of supplies with them (thus perhaps precipitating the journey to Jessen – if the PCs passed up on it – or those with local lore might know that nomadic shepherd people can be found in the area – perhaps they can be sought for help).

If the PCs seek out the baying of the hounds, or the shepherds for help they will come across the mutilated remains of sheep and goats.   Among the animals Knarr sacrificed were the dogs of sa local shepherd he lured to the Broken Teeth, summoning in their place a pack of 5 to 12 *shadow mastiffs* (the DM should choose based on the party’s level and capabilities) who will use pack tactics to try to separate party members and bring them down to be mauled.  Again, the presence of these shadow beasts should clue the PCs into the fact that something is not right.  Perhaps they may speculate that the death of Elhonna Ber-Raysel has had some here-to-for unknown effect, especially if they know about her quest to keep that world at bay all those years ago.  If the DM really wants to confuse them, have the true Arrowheart arrive to help kill the mastiffs and then flee again (only if the PCs have previously dealt with the evil shadow unicorn)

The party may be able to track the wounded shepherd back to a small shack in the hills.  The mauled bodies of his wife and children by the well and the front yard, he is near death and traumatized.  If questioned, he will explain that the shadow dogs appeared nearly a week after Elhonna Ber-Raysel came by to collect his own dogs for the yearly training and check up she gave local animals for all the local shepherds.  She liked to take them away in great packs and live among them in their form and learn about them that way.  The shadow dogs appeared and then began decimating the flocks of the local shepherds and then began hunting the men and their families as well.  If asked, he says that Elhonna Ber-Raysel did not appear ill, wounded or unlike herself in anyway, but did mention that one of her old followers had returned for a visit after over a decade of being away.

*The Broken Teeth*

Upon arriving at the Broken Teeth, the PCs will find Knarr Ben-Hassa preparing for the Funeral.  The “mummified body of Elhonna Ber-Raysel will be upon a pyre of dark wood, and Knarr will be aided by dark cloaked druidic figures who light tall torches implanted in the ground about the pyre.  

The party will find it difficult to approach Knarr and warn him about the shadow creatures as he is very busy and consistently surrounded by his own followers helping him in making arrangements for all the pilgrims to have places to camp, have fresh water etc…  If they do get to warn him, he will grow very grave, and insist he will look into it once the funeral is over.

The Teeth themselves protrude from the stone-like jaw and skull of an ancient dragon, and thus come from both above and below, but great gaps in the skull make the top open to the sky, and it is tall enough for men to walk into the “mouth” with no problem (in fact an ogre could walk in with no problem).   The skull is mostly buried (mouth open) in the middle of lovely glade of tall grass surrounded by old growth trees in a lush valley between two snow-peaked mountains.

As the more well-known figures arrive at the funeral site, Knarr does take the time to share a drink with them in Elhonna’s honor, as is custom.  The drinking of this wine is part of the preparation for the ceremony, and those that drink it will be transferred to the dark realm when the Elhonna is destroyed and the grand transfer occurs.  If the party makes too much of a nuisance of themselves, asking lots of questions or trying to see Elhonna’s body – Knarr will reward their vigilance by having a separate toast with them.  (In this case, the DM may want to allow a Fortitude save to resist the wine’s effects, or a real Rat Bastard could have the party transferred to the dark realm and have to find their way back, if he feels they have the power and resources to accomplish such a task and is willing to derail his own campaign in such a major way if they are stuck in there a long time).

*The Funeral*

How the funeral plays out depends on how suspicious the PCs have become of what is going on. The DM is encouraged to flesh out as many of the NPC dignitaries, sages, adventurers and representatives of sylvan races (elves, satyrs, pixies, perhaps a treant).

After giving a suitable speech about the life of Elhonna Ber-Raysel and how she was a worthy warrior, huntress and guardian, Knarr Ben-Hassa will set his torch to the pyre and Elhonna will then burn to death. 

However, if the party has killed the evil unicorn and Arrowheart is still alive, he will come bursting into the clearing and charge Knarr, as the latter is about to set the torch to the pyre.  This should make the unicorn appear even more bizarre (i.e. insane) in its actions (esp. if it appeared to help with the shadow mastiffs in the Massacred Herd scene).  However, it might also clue the PCs in that something is not right.  Knarr will attempt to set the fire regardless as his eight assistants defend him from the unicorn.  The cloaked assistants are actually druid/barbarians with the shadow template from the dark realm, that fight with scimitars and javelins (the DM should make them appropriate level).

 The DM should make this burning process as long or as short as he likes for the sake of building drama.  As the fire grows and the smoke rises into the air, dark clouds should gather and the baying of hounds should be heard in the distance.  And then as lightning flashes and there is a clap of thunder, many of those in attendance disappear (any PCs that witness this who have seen one of the Dark Realm creatures die, should note that those that disappear seem to fade out the way those creatures did).  An instant later, from all directions the baying of hounds grows louder – and those remaining (mostly lower level followers of the adventurers sent away and common folk) start to panic as packs of shadow mastiffs come rushing into the glade, knocking over and mauling everyone they can.

 Knarr and his cloaked assistants (see above) will then enter the fight, wantonly slaughtering everyone they can.  Of course, in true villainous manner, Knarr will call out, “_Flee, flee if you can and prolong the hunt, for a promise every one here will live as a hunter or die as the hunted!_”

When (and if) Knarr is finally slain the true evil and danger reveals itself.  The Master of the Hunt, a minor avatar of the dark hunter god of the other Prime appears with another peal of thunder.  Nearly eight feet tall, and wearing antlers that may be part of his black metal helm that covers his face, or may actual emerge from within – dressed in all black and wielding a silver magical spear (the spear should always return to his hand if thrown, can turn into a long spear (i.e. reach) as a free action and should be a shocking burst weapon).  He also has a cudgel at his side.  The Master of the Hunt never touches the ground (walking a few inches above it) as to never leave a trail, and he should be an epic level character with unique powers and able to summon beasts from his realm (summoning these creatures does not require the sacrifice of those of this Prime).   How often and how powerful the creatures are dependent on the level the DM is going for in running this adventure – However, they do no obey the master of the hunt, however, all would be too frightened but flee from him.

The fight against him should be no contest; that is the PCs should have no chance of winning.  Either they must flee (trying to save as many of the remaining folks possible) or they will be disabled, and commanded to “go and spread his word and fill the world with fear”.  He will tell them in a deep voice that he will eventually come to hunt each one of them, and then with a blow of his horn, all the shadow hounds and the druid/barbarians will gather up and take off into the woods.

This encounter has now set up a long term goal for the party (destroy or banish the Master of the Hunt) and begin the *slow transformation* of the this Prime as at each full moon the Master of the Hunt will re-appear to hunt some great hero or leader and summon more of his beasts and followers from the other world, and gather more followers of this world at his side.  Other great heroes and villains will also start to create their own warbands to seek out the Master of the Hunt and defeat him, thus coming into conflict with each other.  And of course, at each full moon the PCs will begin to have to worry that _now_ is the time that the Master will come after them.

*Notes on Levels/NPCs*

Obviously, the levels of the various NPCs and foes in this adventure will depend on the level of the party.  I never like to limit my entries by level – as any adventure can be tweaked around to deal with level disparities.  For example, if this adventure is run for characters of 17+ level the Master of the Hunt may be a defeatable foe at the end – though his druid/barbarians that come through with him should then be made around 12th level each and the shadow mastiffs that come to his aid should be _dire_ hounds of some kind.

Knarr should be a level defeatable by the PCs, but with difficulty – though it is perfectly acceptable to assume that the party may have allies among those not transferred to Dark Realm.  He should be at least 12th level, however, having levels of Barbarian, Ranger and Cleric.


*Long-Term Effects & Hooks for Future Adventures*

-- Even if the Master of the Hunt does not arrive (the burning is stopped, or Knarr is captured, not killed) who knows how many other of these dark intelligent creatures have slipped through with Knarr’s help and need to be hunted down?

-- If the PCs kill the real Arrowheart, they may suffer some Geas/Quest from sylvan beings to pay for their crime.

-- There could be any number of adventures involving stopping the growing cults to the dark hunter god, or playing intermediary between competing warbands, seeking to either go after or do the will of the Master of the Hunt.

-- The PCs could undertake a mission to enter that alternate Prime to rescue some or all of the adventurers and dignitaries and/or animals that were sent over there.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 14, 2003)

Wow, you guys aren’t starting me off easy, are you?  I was hoping my first match would be an easy judgment, and instead, I get two entries that are not only both high-quality, but are also eerily similar to one another.  Luckily for me, one of the entries made a very serious error, making my call much easier.  Let’s begin.



First, I want to talk about some overall issues.  



Both entries were well organized and reasonably easy to read.  I liked Nemm’s touch of describing in the beginning how he’d use ingredients; I didn’t like Dave’s apology prefacing his adventure.  If you need to apologize for an entry (hint:  you don’t need to apologize for an entry), do it in a separate post.  On the other hand, Nemm’s entry contained enough typos and missing words that it was in places difficult to read.



Each entry contained one strong spectacle; predictably (and wisely) both spectacles occur at the climax of the adventure.  Nemm’s funeral scene, with the funeral pyre, gathering clouds, and sudden appearance of the master of the hunt, was very cinematic; Dave’s climactic scene, with the glowing greeny-black heart of the forest surrounded by shadowy minions, was also very cool.  Because Nemm’s spectacle hinged on one of the ingredients, and because it seemed more dramatic, I consider it stronger.



Characters, on the other hand, were Dave’s strong suit in this entry.  The satyr, the centaur, the unicorn, and the ranger-shadow were all distinct and interesting.  Nemm’s adventure had few detailed NPCs, and only one of them was really relevant to the plot.  Furthermore, while Nemm’s ranger-shadow had a more detailed background that Dave’s ranger-shadow (note that ranger-shadow wasn’t an ingredient ), his motive was a little weak.  I would have preferred Nem’s ranger to have had a better reason for going to the Dark Realms than wanting power.  While Dave’s ranger-shadow was kind of flat, at least his motives (I’m an evil undead, duh!) were more plausible to me.



In terms of pathos, both of you play with different themes here.  Dave’s adventure, hinging around asking an old senile unicorn to sacrifice his life for the greater good, was poignant.  Nemm, however, played up the theme of betrayal quite well:  once you get past the ranger-shadow’s initial flimsy motives, his betrayal of his master is uber-icky.  And betrayal was one of the ingredients, after all.  Points for Nem.



Okay, onto the specific ingredients.

Insane Unicorn:  Nem had the clever idea of having the insane unicorn be a red herring:  there really wasn’t an insane unicorn at all.  That was a fine stretch of the ingredients.  However, I was a little confused as to the mechanics:  how come the shadow-mastiffs are all shadowy, but the shadow-unicorn is golden and indistinguishable from a real unicorn?  The lack of an explanation for this weakened Nem’s use of this ingredient.  Dave’s insane unicorn was much stronger, I thought – in fact, it was his strongest use of an ingredient, with a great moral dilemma.

Shadow Mastiffs:  Nem’s kidnapped shepherd’s dogs turned shadow was a cool touch, and the shepherd was a great if minor character.  I didn’t really buy the explanation about the druid taking them off for a weeklong checkup, however – first, why would the druid have taken them off, and second, how does the farmer get by without sheepdogs?  Dave’s shadow mastiffs were tied into the story better, I thought, without plausibility issues, and were pretty strong.

Slow Transformation:  Both of you had a pure forest inhabited by fey slowly transforming into an evil forest via energy from a shadowy plane.  I’m not even going to try to judge this ingredient one way or the other – it’s kind of freaking me out how identically you guys used it.

Betrayal:  Nem’s betrayal was at the heart of the adventure, and made me hate hate hate the betrayer.  Dave’s betrayal, on the other hand, was kind of weak, inasmuch as the betrayal was a side-effect of becoming undead.  I mean, you EXPECT undead to act evilly.  I would’ve been more impressed if Dave’s unicorn had been betraying the forest by refusing to die, or something like that.

Funeral:  Again, Nem put the funeral at the heart of the adventure, turning it into a climactic and frightening scene with various possible outcomes based on player activities.  Dave’s funeral was clearly an afterthought, mentioned only in passing in the context of the funeral rites that needed to be performed over the dead unicorn, and was his weakest actual use of an ingredient.

Broken Teeth:  I was kind of expecting someone to use broken teeth as a location, possibly as standing stones, and Nem didn’t disappoint – but he surpassed my expectations by turning them into actual broken teeth at the same time.  I didn’t really understand why the ritual needed to take place there, and therefore this great image was weakened slightly by not being necessary to the story; still and all, it was pretty cool.  Dave’s broken teeth, on the other hand, were



-- um

--Dave?  Did you forget about the broken teeth?  I’ve read through your entry twice and searched it, and the broken teeth don’t appear anywhere.



Skipping an ingredient is a cardinal sin in these tournaments.  I think that Nem probably still would have won a narrow victory if you’d done a good job with the broken teeth – he used more ingredients better than you, even though you gave him a good run for his money.  But with the missing ingredient, it becomes a very clear win for Nemmerle.



Dave, again, no need to apologize:  other than the missing ingredient, you had a very strong entry, enough so that you challenged the defending champion and gave me a hard time deciding.  I hope to see you in future tournaments.


Nem, congratulations; your entry was as strong as ever, with some great scenes, unusual backgrounds, open-ended plots, and plenty of possibilities for future adventures.  I look forward to judging you next entry!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 14, 2003)

Okay.  My last post just went through.  Yay!  Some notes:

* Even though Nem's post came in after the deadline, the boards were being uberfunky, and he emailed me his entry before the deadline.  I'm going to accept it; if anyone has any problem with that, let me know.
* In the event that the boards crash again when you're trying to post your entry, please send it to me via email (siuloir at mindspring dot com), and post it on the boards as soon as you can.  If your entire Internet connection crashes, however, then you're SOL; in that case, the only thing that might save you is if your opponent specifically requests that I give you leniency (some people would prefer not to gain a victory by default, and I want to allow them to do so if they want).  For that reason, you may want to try to post a couple hours before the deadline, giving you some wiggle-room if computers are nasty.

Finally, I'm ready to start the second match.  The next to contestants that post that they're ready and submit three numbers between one and twenty will be paired off against one another.  (I have to run an errand, but should be back at the computer before 2 pm EDT).

Daniel
hoping this post registers


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## Dave Turner (Oct 14, 2003)

Great entry, nemmerle.  I can see where your reputation comes from.  

I also seized upon the idea of the <b>insane unicorn</b> being corrupted by "shadowstuff" or something like it, since the presence of shadow mastiffs almost required an element of the Shadow Plane in the adventure.  In the end, however, I thought that casting the "insane" unicorn as an evil unicorn wasn't really a type of insanity, but was more like demonic corruption.  So I discarded the idea that the unicorn was some how a "Negative Zone" unicorn and went for a kind of dangerously senile and insane regular unicorn.  

Your handling of the Shadow Plane was inspired.  The Dark Prime is a great idea and you left enough hints about it in the text to make it seem real.

I was pleasantly surprised to see how many of the ideas you went with were similar to ones I also thought of (though ultimately discarded in some cases).  I don't say this to somehow belittle the choices you made, since I think you did a masterful job with the ingredients.  After I learned that you were to be my opponent, I went back and read a few of your entries and it's nice to see that I was "thinking like the master" at times.

In hindsight, I can see that I was trying to fit too much into the entry.  I was busy trying to completely think through the entire scenario, but I ended up wasting too much time doing that.  By the time I realized that I wasn't going to pull things together in time, it was too late to whip up someting entirely new as well.  A note to future contestants: simple is best!  Concentrate on three to four key encounters and let the DMs out there fill in the (sometimes considerable) gaps.  Nemmerle seems to do this and I didn't learn this in time.

Again, nemmerle, my congratulations on a wonderful entry.

But wait until the next tournament...


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## Nifft (Oct 14, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Finally, I'm ready to start the second match.  The next to contestants that post that they're ready and submit three numbers between one and twenty will be paired off against one another.




*Lucky Numbers: 3, 5, 15*

I'm ready when the boards are...  

 -- N


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## Wicht (Oct 14, 2003)

I can go now 

(provided this makes it through)

5
11
13


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## Rune (Oct 14, 2003)

Nuts.  Beaten again, by my old nemesis, Wicht.  Oh, but we shall meet again, Wicht.  The day is coming.  Oh, yes.  It is coming.

Muahahahahahahah ha ha ha hack, cough, ha...

ha.


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## el-remmen (Oct 14, 2003)

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> Great entry, nemmerle.  I can see where your reputation comes from.




Thank you.  

But I recommend that you (and other competitors) withholf your comments unti lafter the judgement - as to not unduly influence the judge.  

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was TOTALLY freaking out when I could not post my entry and was planning on viewing it in preview form and do one last read over for errors or inconsistancies - but did not get a chance to (*crosses fingers*).

Usually, when I post an entry I am either damn proud of it or think it is e - I will not say what I thought of this one until after the judging.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 14, 2003)

Okay! I've posted the judgment for the first round (whenever it goes through); look in the post just after Nemmerle's entry.  

Wicht and Nifft, you guys are up next.

*Nifft vs. Wicht*

*Ingredients*
*Poppy Field*
*Barghest*
*Skeletal Sphinx*
*Cracked Mirror*
*Nightmare*
*Oppression*

As always, you have until 24 hours from this timestamp.  No editing.

Good luck!
Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 14, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *Nifft vs. Wicht*




Gesundheit!


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## Rune (Oct 14, 2003)

That was an impressive entry, Dave.

Nemm, congratulations on winning with a characteristically excellent entry.


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## el-remmen (Oct 14, 2003)

Thank you, Pielorinho.  

And thank you Dave Turner for an excellent round.  When I began to read your entry I said, "uh oh" - because I thought it was a lot more clearly presented and organized than my own.  Also, your entyr had a more centralized location and theme - and I thought the use of the unicorn was excellent (much better than mine).  I think if your entry had been a bit longer and you had explored the various encounters a bit more you would have (and should have) one.  I just felt like it was about half-finished when I read it. 

However a few comments on Pielorinho's comments about my entry (in the order I remember them in):

*Shadowy Unicorn:* I guess in my mind the shadow template was a convenient method of applying cool abiltiies to the creatures from the dark realm - and I did not see those creatures as actualy _being of_ shadow.  Thus, the unicorn could be golden and mistaken for Arrowheart.  I was rather proud of the idea of the unicorn's _perceived_ madness in terms of its change of behavior was because there were actually two unicorns.  I guess I could have explained that better.

*Shadow Mastiffs:* Another thing I could have explained better - or at least fixed with the addition of one sentence.  "The sheepdogs were not supposed to be gone longer than a day."

*Knarr's Motivations:*  The betrayer's motivations were not power - he already _had_ power.  Rather, it was the testing of this power against the greatest foe of his mistress.  It was kind of like being only a month two young to have fought in WWII or something - and forever hearing how tough of a fight it was against the Nazis when you consider yourself a great soldier (or something like that).  And the pursuit of this hubris is what led to his downfall.  He became what he hated.

*The Broken Teeth*: By making the site of the funeral the site of one of Elhonna Ber-Raysel's greatest battles and linking it as a kind of nexus between the worlds I thought I brought that all together rather well.  Since Knarr needed a reason to draw everyone to that place.  I wanted to figure out a way to link the story of the dragon buried there to the dark realm as well - but could not.

I look forward to the next round and will endeavor to do better.  Sorry about the errors and typos - I had meant to look it over one last time - but in the hurry to try to get it posted and freaking out - I had to do without.


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## Dave Turner (Oct 14, 2003)

Here's some responses to the judging.  

First, the most obvious one about the Broken Teeth.  This omission was a result of my general harriedness towards the end.  It was the one ingredient still unresolved as I neared the end and I had resigned myself to including it in a cheesy way (it was to be the name of Bereth's animal-companion-turned-shadow-mastiff).  In the final rush, however, I forgot to splice it in.  

It's interesting that you thought that the unicorn would have been stronger if he was somehow betraying the forest.  That was actually something I had hoped would come through with the unicorn's refusal to do what had to be done.  It was more of an "ongoing" betrayal than a completed one in the past.  This aspect didn't get the attention I would have liked.  Also, the unicorn was meant to betray the PCs in the fight with the shadow treant.  I was trying to include several instances of betrayal in the scenario rather than one.

I thought it was funny that you considered my funeral an afterthought.  I had hoped to avoid the idea of a funeral as a stage for a battle or event (as nemmerle used it) and try for something a bit different.  I guess my intention didn't come across as clearly as I would have liked.  Trying to innovate with the funeral was where most of my brainstorming time went, actually.    

For what it's worth, here's a reworked version of the "highlights" I included at the end of my entry.  If I had had another fifteen minutes (which is how long it took me to go back and rework the original "hightlights"), this is closer to what I would have wanted to present.  I include them in the hope that anyone who might want to use some of the ideas in my scenario gets a better version of them.  

<i>
The highlights of the adventure are:

- Making contact with Stratus: the PCs make contact with the remaining pure fey, who urge the PCs to seek out Nyrith on their behalf.  Nyrith has not been seen by any of the pure fey since the corruption began.  They fear he is dead or conducting some kind of losing campaign against the forces of shadow.  In fact, Nyrith is afraid that he will come into contact with a corrupted creature and, in his weakened state, be killed.

- PCs visit the Deep Pool and contact Nyrith.  He actually speaks with the PCs, since he recognizes them as strangers to the forest and doesn't fear them in the same way.  If the PCs explain why they are there, Nyrith's paranoia gets the better of him.  He seemingly welcomes the help of the PCs and asks them to help him slay a very nasty shadow treant that he has recently become aware of.  Nyrith leads them through the forest to the treant and during a crucial moment in the battle, he teleports away from the PCs, hoping they'll be killed and preventing them from reporting back to the pure fey.

- Stratus hears of Nyrith's betrayal and resolves to follow his plan of attempting to transform Argen into the new Protector.  He first wants to test the mettle of the PCs (since the story of the treant battle might have been a lie).  He sends the PCs against a nest of shadow giant spiders to see if they are strong enough to fight their way to the Heart.

- The PCs must devise a way to get Nyrith into the Heart chamber against his will.  They might trick him, capture him, polymorph him, or simply drag him in.  Stratus, Argen, and the last few remaining pure fey accompany the PCs as they fight their way into the Heart Chamber.

- Due to the power of the Protector and the link to the Heart, the fey are unable to actually harm Nyrith, since that would be like harming themselves through the connection of the Heart.  After Bereth and his minions are defeated, the PCs must fight Nyrith, who is delusional and thinks they're in league with Bereth.  It falls to the PCs to actually kill the unicorn so that the funeral can take place.

- The funeral rite is somewhat successful and Argen assumes the mantle of Protector.  She retains her centaur form, but becomes pure white with a unicorn's horn jutting from her human forehead.  She uses the pure Heart-power to reverse the shadow corruption and Whispering Deep returns to normal.
</i>

Congratulations again, Nemmerle.  Thanks for your criticism, Pielorinho!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 14, 2003)

Nem,
I can see what you're saying about the unicorn: it was more the inconsistency between the unicorn and the shadow mastiffs that bothered me.  Why does the one look shadowy and the other not?

Knarr's motivations, on a second reading, were clearer; given the board's problems, I was writing up the judgment from memory.

As for the broken teeth, again, it was cool, and I missed the fact that it was Elhonna's greatest victory site; still, it would've been improved, as you note, by having a reason for being a nexus between worlds.

And given the board's wonkiness, typos are forgiven; I based my judgment on the emailed entry, before I knew how awful the boards were being.

This is fun!  It's interesting to me how the randomly-chosen ingredients from the first round seemed to tie together thematically, and already I can see some ties for the random ingredients of the second round.

Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 14, 2003)

Dave,
Honestly, if you'd put "broken teeth" in as the name of the wolf, it wouldn't have been that much better .  Unless you'd had a cool and brief backstory for the wolf's name, of course, which figured into the adventure.

I sort of got the unicorn-betraying-the-forest vibe (I forgot when judging about the unicorn-betraying-the-PCs -- when I was re-skimming the thread for ingredients, I noticed the bolded betrayal only.  _Mea culpa_ in part).  However, you mention that the unicorn believes its death will end all hope for the forest, and that the satyr's plan is pretty risky; these combine to make the unicorn's actions not much of a betrayal of the forest at all.  If the unicorn instead believed that the satyr's plan was likely to work, I would've gotten a much stronger betrayal vibe there.  In any case, a lesson for folks:  if you want to use an ingredient repeatedly through an adventure, that's fine, but it's a good idea to bold each entry so I'll be sure to notice.

And the funeral either comes across as an afterthought or not much of a funeral:  a funeral, IMO, is a formal gathering to honor the dead, not a quick incantation over the body to transfer magical energy.  I envisioned what you were talking about occurring likely in the middle of a battle.  With more detail, this could have worked (e.g., one fey might realize that the normal five-hour funeral could be foregone as long as the central phrase were spoken over the unicorn's corpse or something); as it was, it didn't feel very strong to me.

It's probably a good idea to set a deadline for yourself of several hours before the actual deadline:  that'll give you a chance to go grab a sandwich, run an errand, then come back and reread your entry to tighten it up and look for places where themes and ingredients need to be brought more to the forefront, explained better, reorganized, etc.

Anyway, that's what the writing tutor in me says .  Again, I think it was overall a quite strong entry, and the unicorn especially is a fantastic character.  I hope you don't take my specific criticisms as a negation of my overall praise.

Daniel


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## Dave Turner (Oct 14, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Dave,
> Honestly, if you'd put "broken teeth" in as the name of the wolf, it wouldn't have been that much better .  Unless you'd had a cool and brief backstory for the wolf's name, of course, which figured into the adventure.
> 
> It's probably a good idea to set a deadline for yourself of several hours before the actual deadline:  that'll give you a chance to go grab a sandwich, run an errand, then come back and reread your entry to tighten it up and look for places where themes and ingredients need to be brought more to the forefront, explained better, reorganized, etc.
> ...



We're agreed on "broken teeth".  

Your deadline advice is excellent and it was my intention to exactly as you suggest.  But my unfamiliarity with creating an adventure under pressure led to my wasting a lot of time, as I alluded to earlier.  I shall not make the same mistakes again in the next Iron DM tournament. /cue crashing thunder and ominous lightning.

Don't sweat your criticisms.  They are invaluable and I'm quite capable of separating criticism from praise.  Good, honest feedback is a rare treasure and always appreciated.


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## el-remmen (Oct 14, 2003)

I have one criticism; of the judge.  Stop being so damn nice.  This is IRON DM, not a god-damned tea party.  

No one is gonna take offense, and if they do tough .


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## cool hand luke (Oct 15, 2003)

I want to be left bloody and battered from my critique, with much wailing and nashing of teeth.


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## Macbeth (Oct 15, 2003)

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> I want to be left bloody and battered from my critique, with much wailing and nashing of teeth.



I can only hope.....


(cool hand luke and I are facing off in Ceramic DM)


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## Wicht (Oct 15, 2003)

*IRON DM: Nifft vs. Wicht*
_Ingredients:  _
1. Poppy Field:  The First Test
2. Barghest:  Crivey – the butler
3. Skeletal Sphinx: The Third Test
4. Cracked Mirror: The gate 
5. Nightmare: The ride
6. Oppression:  What the people of Glennferry (and their master) are experiencing

*Through the Mirror Darkly*
Through the mirror darkly is an adventure for PCs of approximately 5th level.  Though due to the fact that most of the challenges are mental and not necessarily physical, it can be easily adapted.  The adventure takes place in the castle of Glennferr (and parts unknown) which, along with its village (Glennferry) can be easily dropped just about anywhere in most campaign worlds.  The mood of the adventure is both dark and fairytale-ish and though PCs have total control over success or failure in the adventure, they should feel as if they have stumbled into a story far greater than their mere individual selves.

_”Ye should no have come,” says the despondent knight.  “For nigh on three score years I have been sorely cursed and do suffer most grieviously in mind, body and spirit.  Those callous brutes you saw are devils incarnate, but so long as my curse remains, I can do nothing to stop them.  Oh that there were deliverance at hand!”_

*Summary:*  The PCs enter into a village wallowing in filth, decay and despair.  The villagers are sickly and most look to have been beaten severely in the not to distant past.  The oppressors are quickly evident.  A group of well armored knights who seem superhuman.  The knights direct concerned PCs to the “Lord of the Castle.”  The Lord of the Castle turns out to be a Paladin, trapped in his own castle by a divine curse of unholy origin.  He claims that the knights are in reality devils, allowed to oppress his people until such time as his curse is lifted.  He furthermore claims that he and his people have been trapped for sixty years.  Each night the Paladin, Sir Jorge De’Ferr, is compelled to enter through an enchanted mirror into another place where he must pass three test in order for the curse to be lifted.  
The PCs, finding themselves trapped in this hell on earth, if they wish may aid him in lifting the curse but the powers of hell do not play fair and each of the tests is slightly rigged.  In sixty years Sir Jorge De’Ferr has yet to pass even the first of the tests and he finds himself in his bed each morning, beat to within an inch of his life.  Only his ability to heal himself has kept him going.  
If the PCs successfully lift the curse, the evil knights will vanish and De’Ferr and his people will age sixty years and die.  But their souls will be at rest.

*The Village:*  PCs will enter into this adventure through the village of Glennferr.  Upon entering this out of the way village the *oppression* of its people will be readily apparent.  Half the houses are partially burnt.  The streets are muddy and filled with refuse.  The people are thin, wasted and appear to have all been recently beaten severely.  There is a decrepit inn, but all the food is moldy and vile, though the PCs will observe the starving people of Glennferr eating.  The people will talk to the PCs but they will only mention their condition in mutters and whispers of “the curse.”
	There is one oddity about the people, though the PCs may never discover it.  Though their bodies suffer as any mortal’s would, they are all immortal and though they are wounded or beaten or starved, none of them can die. 
	Sooner more likely than later, the PCs will meet the Black Knights.  This is a group of a dozen knights in full plated black spiky armor riding on black steeds.  They are quite evil but though they will freely attack any villager in their way, they will never attack the PCs unless the PCs attack them.  Even then, they will not kill the PCs.  The faces of the knights are never seen, but their voices are deep and evil.  They are in fact powerful devils in mortal guise who have been given free reign to torture the villagers of Glennferr and the PCs have no chance of defeating them in combat.  
	PCs who have been drubbed senseless or who have courteously made inquiries are directed to the bleak stone castle overlooking the village and “The Lord of the Castle,” who the knights say will answer the PCs questions.

The Castle:  There are only two people living within the whole of Glennferr Castle.  They are Crivey, the butler and Sir Jorge De’Ferr, the Lord of Glennferr.  
	It is Crivey who answers the door.  Crivey is a *Barghest* who remains constantly in Goblin shape during the day, but who roams the castle as a wolf at night (villagers can whisper tales to the PCs of some dreadful monster howling within the castle).  Like the Black Knights, Crivey will not attack the PCs unless attacked first (though see “The First Test” for an exception to this rule.)  Instead he will be polite and servile and take the PCs to meet De’Ferr.  If Crivey is ever killed, a new Barghest will take his place on the following morning.
	De’Ferr is a despondant man who spends the day in prayer and study.  At times he gazes out over his village and watches his people being mistreated, tears in his eyes.  His curse does not allow him to leave the castle, attack Crivey, whom he loathes and it furthermore compels him each night to take part once more in the three tests.  Sixty years earlier, De’Ferr desecrated an evil temple, a normal act for a Paladin.  Upon returning home however he found a mirror awaiting him in his bedroom.  The mirror radiated powerful evil and in his righteous fury he smote it.  The *cracked mirror* however was the trigger for a powerful curse upon both De’Ferr and his lands.  Even as De’Ferr violated the sanctum of the Dark God, so now De’Ferr’s sanctum (his home) was violated daily and he could do nothing to stop it.  
	The curse can theoretically be lifted by a powerful cleric, but as De’Ferr was unable to send for help none could come.  The PCs will find that the Black Knights will not allow them to leave either.  They will beat any PC who tries it senseless.
	De’Ferr will gladly explain his problems to the PCs, but he warns them that others have in times past tried to help him and have failed.  He will not say what happened to them as he does not know (Crivey ate them).  
	Crivey will prepare sumptuous meals for the PCs and for De’Ferr and will gloatingly challenge the PCs to try and aid the paladin, though he warns them they will fail.

*The Mirror:*  Each night at midnight De’Ferr stands in full armor before the mirror in his bedroom (it is cracked from side to side.  A single jagged crack.  He recites the following
_	“In penance for my righteousness,
 I summon Hell’s black steed to bear me forth,
 to lands unknown, unseen by men.”   _

This simple verse causes the mirror to turn black and moments later a *Nightmare* stamps through the glass.  De’Ferr hops on the Nightmare’s back and the steed jumps once more into the mirror.  If the PCs do not enter in with De’Ferr, the Nightmare will return at dawn with an unconscious and bloodied De’Ferr upon his back.  Crivey will then assist his “master” into bed and return to his duties.
	This happens everynight without fail.  De’Ferr, like the villagers, cannot be killed, though he has contemplated suicide he suspects it would be futile.
	If the PCs wish to accompany De’Ferr they will find that reciting the verse before the mirror works for them as well as for the paladin.  Each nightmare will only bear one passenger.  Like all the other evil entities, the nightmares will not attack unless attacked.  But if attacked, they will fight for dear life before fleeing back into the mirror.  Each time the verse is recited, a fresh nightmare is summoned.

*The first Test*
The first test is a field of poppies that induce sleep.  The nightmares place their passengers down atop a steep cliff that stretches down forever.  Ahead of them is a path through a field of ripe poppies.  Crossing through the Poppies requires both a Will Save (DC 10) and a Fort Save (DC 10)  failing one makes the person groggy and requires an additional save to be made after thirty minutes or the character falls asleep.  Those that make their save can walk easily through the field for the necessary ten miles and make it to the second test.  There are two hidden problems however.  One is the food prepared by Crivey.  It raises the DC for both saves to 25 if eaten at any time during the day.  The second is the legion of imps who hide among the poppies.  Anyone who falls asleep in the field is beaten by invisible imps for subdual damage down to –1 hitpoints.  If all the PCs fall asleep in the field, when the nightmares bear them back in the morning Crivey will choose one of the unconscious PCs and eat the helpless individual.  Elves, it should be noted, are immune to the poppies.

*The Second Test*: After the poppies is a vast wall stretching high into infinity and off into infinity in both directions.  There is a door in the wall where the path ends.  A sign upon the door reads: choose the right key and enter.  There are ten keys on hooks, hanging from the sign.  The door is locked (DC 40 to pick, DC 50 to break) and divinely sturdy.  Placing the wrong key in the lock will cause the person who does so to be shocked for 10d6 points of subdual damage.  This damage cannot kill but can render someone senseless.  Those knocked senseless will be beaten by imps, as in the poppy field.  The catch is this - None of the ten keys work.  Instead there is an 11th key behind the sign, unseen until the sign is removed from the door.  

*The third Test*:  Through the door lies a vast room, in the middle of which is the *skeleton of a Gynosphinx*.  The skeleton will lift its head when anyone enters the room and intone, “To lift the curse you must answer my riddle.  But heed, the wrong answer means further peril.”  The riddle is this, “What do the devils in heaven see,  what do the devils in heaven hear?”  Answering wrong or attacking the sphinx will cause the sphinx to attack.  The sphinx fights, despite its state, as a normal sphinx would and has all the powers of a typical Gynosphinx.  The sphinx does not seek to kill, but like all the other tests only wants to make its victims suffer.  If the Sphinx is killed the curse remains in place and the Sphinx will be back with the same riddle on the following night.  The answer to the riddle is, “Nothing, there are no devils in heaven.”

The Nightmares will return with the dawn and carry all their passengers back through the mirror,  Comatose PCs will be lifted onto the horses by invisible hands.  

*The Lifted Curse;* If the PCs manage to help the paladin reach the sphinx and answer the riddle, they will find themselves immediately back in the paladins bedroom.  He will say, “bless you my friends,” and then crumple to dust before their eyes.  Outside the villagers will do the same.  The evil entities haunting the area will also disappear.  The castle will remain, as will the village, and the PCs will find that there is treasure in the castle.


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## Wicht (Oct 15, 2003)

Do I get bonus points for being done first?


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## Rune (Oct 15, 2003)

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> I want to be left bloody and battered from my critique, with much wailing and nashing of teeth.





In that case, consider this a primer:

I once had high hopes for you as an Iron DM contestant, but if you can't even spell "gnashing" correctly, I'm not sure I had any foundation for that!  Get it together, man!


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## Nifft (Oct 15, 2003)

*Nifft vs. Wicht*

Ingredients:

*Poppy Field* 
*Barghest* 
*Skeletal Sphinx* 
*Cracked Mirror* 
*Nightmare* 
*Oppression* 



> _As Poppy seed is very fine, it must be sown thinly. This is best accomplished by mixing sand with it. After sowing, it is best not to place soil over the seeds, but to cover the bed with a cloth or with grass clippings. The covering may be removed as soon as the seed has germinated, but until then it shades the seed and keeps it from drying out._ -- The Backyard Gardener




*You Only Rise From The Void As A Slathering Death God Twice*
_an Adventure for High-Level Parties_


*Plot Synopsis*

Merenicus, a Baraghest Wizard is exploiting the legend of a risen death-god to oppress slaves who work his poppy fields. The Baraghest impersonates the dead god using a skeletal sphinx-shaped Iron Golem, but his plan has worked too well: the slaves desperation has bred genuine religious fervor, and they are secretly restoring the cracked Mirror of the Pit (a giant black crystal). The dead god has heard their prayers, and that is when the nightmares begin...


*History*

Ten thousand years ago, the God was slain. His holy land was laid waste: his blood poisoned the water and his flesh salted the soil. His priests were put to the sword, His temple burried, and His every holy scroll burned. The crusaders did what they could to erase all memory of Him from the Earth.

But some remembered who were not of the Earth.


One hundred years ago, a long-toothed figure sat on a midnight black steed, perched atop a sandy knoll, silhouetted against the fading sun. The parched Valley of Kings lay barren, a ruined hollow where a moaning wind twisted bone-dry dust into lurid phantasms.

The figure dismounted and walked to a flat boulder, whereupon it sat and seemed to concentrate. After a minute or so, the wind carried snatches of chanting to the far corners of the valley. After ten minutes or so, the chanting stopped, and the figure mounted his impatient steed, whose oddly visible breath caught the sun's last rays like a cloud of flame -- almost exactly like a cloud of flame.

"To Dis, Nemithius", the figure growled in Infernal. The steed tossed its head back, leapt, and both steed and rider vanished.


Ninety-eight years ago, the earth groaned in protest as powerful magic carved deep furrows in the ground. The valley had not changed since the figure's last visit. Again the earth groaned, but this time the turned soil brought with it the tempting scent of water.

The figure smiled a sharp grin.


Today, the nation of Fellspur fills the valley -- if the huddled slaves could be called a nation.



*The Fellspur Fields*

The black poppies that grow here seem miraculous, for the climate is not naturally wet enough to see to even a poppy's meager needs. The traveler climbs a slope of sage and scrub brush, then peeks over into what looks like a lush valley awash in fragrant foliage.

The fields are patroled by Baraghest packs who brutally enforce the harsh laws. They take great pleasure in Feeding, and the slaves are told that those who are devoured by the god's enforcers are destroyed utterly -- a fate worse than death for the faithful.

The valley's most visible feature, standing on an obsidian column in the middle of the fields, is the skeletal sphinx Iron Golem -- the "god" itself. Merenicus acts as the god's prophet and voice, and thus directs the "god"'s actions. He has "pre-programmed" some very complex behavior, and augments the "god" with his illusion-magic to good effect.

Merenicus has found a species of Abyssal poppy that will leech the evil power from the soil and concentrate it. From the poppies, he makes two substances:
- Blackfume: a magical drug that enhances the smoker's charisma by +2 and effective caster level for spells of the Necromancy school by +1 for three hours (highly addictive). -- 1,700 gp/dose
- Petalbitters: a magical poison that afflicts its victim with Fatigue and Exhaustion if the first and second saves are failed (Fort DC 21). It is able to affect even Fiends who are normally immune to poison. -- 3,000 gp/dose

Merenicus profits from the sale of these substances, and splits his profits between acquiring new slaves and paying off the loans that enabled him to craft his Iron Golem in the first place. His motive is simple: he wants more power. Wealth, magic, and slavery are simply means to this end. He is happy when his small 'nation' is growing.


*The Fellspur Pits*

The slaves live in a warren of tunnels under the valley. In fact, they live in the upper stories of the dead god's burried temple, which is a ziggurat. Hopelessness and captivity have bred religion, and the people pray to the dead god's Destroyer aspect to find them worthy and deliver them from their captivity.

In recent months, certain of the most religious slaves have been able to call upon the dead god's divine powers to perform minor miracles -- minor healing, purifying food, creating water. Merenicus does not yet know of these minor clerics, but he actively suppresses "false prophets" -- anyone besides himself who would purport to interpret the god's will is killed on the spot. However, he actively encourages the religion among those who do not dare to question his place as leader of it.

None the less, the slaves have been guided by their dreams to bring together a collection of angular, jagged stones -- pieces of the cracked Mirror of the Pit.


*The Mirror of the Pit*

The Mirror is a minor artifact. Its power is to blanket the valley in darkness, reflecting the light and power of the sun away from the valley floor. To be activated, it must be re-assembled and a cleric of the dead god must cast _Make Whole_ upon it. If the restored Mirror is brought above ground, it will _Unhallow_ the entire valley.


*Force Structure*


Merenicus: Greater Baraghest Wiz17+ (CR 24+)
Nemithius: Merenicus' steed, an advanced Nightmare
Enforcers: 100 Baraghest Rangers (level 1-10, favored enemies are slave races)
Overseers: 30 compacted Bone Devils serve Merenicus
Guardians: 20 compacted Hellcats stalk the daylight, acting as Merenicus' invisible eyes and ears
Slaves: 5,000 slaves live in misery; 100 are 1st-level Clerics of the dead god, and 2 are 3rd-level Clerics. Dead God Domains: Chaos, Death, Destruction, Evil, Fire.


*Adventure Hooks*

- School of the Damned -- Merenicus is a powerful Wizard (at least 16th level) to have constructed the Iron Golem 90 years ago. He has an unparalleled collection of Necromancy spells, and he is willing to share them for a high price (usually including fresh slaves).

- Enemy of my Enemy -- In his rise from the underworld, Merenicus made many enemies. A demon prince offers a temporary alliance with the party to end the tyrant's rule (and destroy the fiend-poison's source).

- Captured! -- Merenicus isn't content to trade for what he could seize. His squads of Enforcers regularly patrol the outlying areas for new victims to enslave. Having captured the entire local population of desert nomads, the slavers now raid previously safe regions. The party, or someone whom the party cares about, is captured.

- Nightmares -- Sages and prophets have foretold the rise of the dead god. Now, as the god begins to wake, nightmares plague the region's mortal population. Merenicus, not being mortal, does not dream. The party could directly receive visions of doom, death and destruction, or they could be contacted by a sage who has received visions.

- Raiders of the Lost Zig -- Powerful magic items which once belonged to the heros who slew the dead god are no doubt entombed within the burried ziggurat. As the dead god rises, though, its ancient servants return to stalk the ziggurat's lower levels. Perhaps Merenicus himself pays for heros to "slay the dark forces which are killing my loyal subjects".

- Caravan Guards -- Moral issues abound, especially with shipments of slaves going to Fellspur and drugs coming back.


*Rat-Bastardly Complication*

The population of slaves are nearly fanatical in their devotion to the dead god -- they have no other outlet for hope. If Merenicus is deposed, they will rejoyce, and continue their worship. If the Mirror is restored, and the dead god rose, He would surely destroy the pretender Merenicus -- but at the cost of bringing an evil demigod back into creation.

 -- N


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## Macbeth (Oct 15, 2003)

Since the previous paring now seems complete, I just wanted to throw in my hat for the next round. 

If you need numbers, lets try 4, 12, 20 (It was any number from 1-20, right?)


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## Pielorinho (Oct 15, 2003)

Judgment for Wicht vs. Nifft
 
First, it's good to see that the contestants took radically different approaches to this set of ingredients. I was worried after the first round that my ingredients were too specific, and that they were predetermining the kinds of stories people would tell with them. That said, some overall comments, followed by comments on ingredient usage, followed by a judgment.

*Organization and railroading: *The two entries were organized in very different ways. Wicht's entry was very straightforward and linear, and was therefore easy for me to follow. Unfortunately, it was a little TOO linear: in each scene in the adventure, there was really only one way forward. Combats are set up to be unwinnable, so fighting is not an option. Because it's a fairy-tale atmosphere, this is more acceptable than usual: fairy-tales often have quests that must be completed in a very specific manner. Still, the railroading has to count against the entry. 

Nifft's entry was on the other end of the spectrum: rather than being an adventure, it comes across as more of a collection of related tools that can be used for a wide variety of different stories. There are no scenes described (except for backstory scenes, which don't really count), and only one real location. It came across as scattered when I read it. Speaking of scattered, I like the idea of an epigram, but I couldn't figure out what relationship the epigram had to the adventure. Finally, Nifft, it's Barghest, not Baraghest. Argh! But at least there was no railroading.

*Spectacle: *Neither adventure really shone in terms of spectacle for me, although both had some decent images in it. Wicht's dreary cursed town recalls nothing so much as the town in The Last Unicorn; whether the homage was deliberate or not, I enjoyed it. And his field of poppies was straight out of the Wizard of Oz. Nifft, meanwhile, conjures a pretty cool image with the skeletal sphinx overseeing a valley full of slaves and black poppies.

*Characters and Pathos: *Wicht definitely won in this category. The trapped paladin who goes every night to his failed tests and his sadistic butler are great characters, very evocative. Nifft's adventure really only has one character in it - the wizard barghest - and that character doesn't have much in the way of interesting motivation. An evil wizard who wants power? Who woulda thunk? There's the potential for interesting characters in the slave clerics, but none of them were developed. Atmospherewise, Wicht really takes it too: whereas Nifft's entry is more or less like every other evil overlord with slaves in its mood, Wicht crafts a great dark fairy-tale mood. I'm a sucker for dark fairy tales, so this worked for me.

On to specific ingredients:

*Skeletal Sphinx: *Nifft's skeletal sphinx, as an iron golem, was an interesting twist on the idea. And certainly a skeletal figure is a great symbol of a death god. But why a sphinx? I don't know of any connection between sphinxes and death; this seemed arbitrary to me. Wicht's was almost the other way around: his riddling sphinx made sense, but its skeletal nature was unnecessary. Except, of course, that it was the servant of a bunch of demons and in a twisted sadistic test meant to evoke fear and terror. Wicht's was stronger. (The riddle, however, was pretty weak: it needs more misdirection to be even the slightest bit tough).

*Poppy Field: *Both of you played with the nature of poppies here. As much as I like Wizard of Oz, Wicht's was a little too straightforward for my tastes: surely everyone who read the ingredient thought immediately of the danger of crossing a field of poppies without falling asleep. And it also raised a niggling mathematical question: even if that paladin eats his butler's food every night, and even if that paladin has terrible saves, he should get a 20 on both saves one night in 400. There should've been some other mechanic to take care of the sleep effects. Nifft's poppies, on the other hand, were a cool demon-poppy with a unique effect. While I wish there had been more that would actually happen in the fields, that's more of a general fault with the adventure (no described possible scenes) than a specific fault with this ingredient; I therefore liked Nifft's use of this ingredient better.

*Barghest: *Neither of you really impressed me with your use of the barghest. Both of them were barghests simply because they were demons, and could just as easily have been some other type of demon. (Even though you both mentioned their consuming the souls of their victims, another demon could have put forward a different but equal threat). However, I liked Wicht's character better; even though he could've been, for example, an efreet butler, he was still a cool butler. Goes to Wicht.

*Nightmare: *A reasonable use by both of you, inasmuch as they were steeds to demons. Wicht's were great as transports through the mirror; hopping on a demon horse to enter a demon realm is going to be a very difficult surrender of control for any PC. Nifft's, as the steed of the barghest-wizard, was straightforward. He did, however, mention the nightmares people were having about the rising death-god, letting the ingredient do double-duty. Good show, but the difficult moment Wicht's nightmares present to the PC makes his a stronger use.

*Cracked Mirror: *Nifft's cracked mirror as an artifact of the god was at the center of the story. I would've liked to have seen some ideas for scenes involving the mirror (how will people react to its reassembling? When will the PCs get a chance to interfere with the reassembling process? What cool underground dangers interfere with the collection of its pieces? And so forth) Wicht's, on the other hand, acted as a portal between worlds, and had the added emotional impact of having been a trap by which the unthinkingly righteous paladin doomed his people. PCs are bound to think of trying to repair the crack in his mirror, and a less railroading adventure would have made this a real possibility. I'm going to give a tie on this ingredient: both were well-integrated in their adventures but also had serious problems.

*Oppression: *Good oppression in both. As I said before, I loved the feel of Wicht's town. Nifft's slaves add another dimension to the oppression by being semi-willing participants. I found Nifft's oppression, because of its complicated nature, to be his strongest ingredient, stronger than Wicht's by a hair.

Overall, Wicht's adventure is so railroading that, despite its cohesive nature and lovely mood, it suffers badly. However, a straightforward, almost ritualized fairy-tale adventure can work if it's done rarely and done well, and Wicht's is certainly done well. Nifft's, while not railroading, uses a couple of ingredients arbitrarily, and doesn't give the DM enough stuff to work with to really pull off the adventure - it needs some fleshing out of some great basic ideas in order to be a great entry. 

Because of the great mood, cool scenes, and superior use of ingredients, I'm awarding this round to Wicht, even though I know other judges, with more hatred of railroading than me, would decide differently.

Congratulations, Wicht, and thanks for the entry, Nifft! I look forward to seeing you in future tournaments.

Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 15, 2003)

Macbeth is up for the next round, and has given his three numbers.  Who wants to square off against the Scottish Play?

Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 15, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Macbeth is up for the next round, and has given his three numbers.  Who wants to square off against the Scottish Play?
> 
> Daniel




Oh, I do.  I do.

Let's say, 12,7, & 10


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## Pielorinho (Oct 15, 2003)

*Third Match:  Macbeth vs. Rune*

*Ingredients*
*Filthy Nursery*
*Zombie Swarm*
*Wyvern*
*Mistaken Hunch*
*Nails*
*Familial Love*

Remember, you have until 24 hours from the time-stamp on this post.  No editing.

Good luck!
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 15, 2003)

*re: Nifft vs. Wicht*

Now that is what I call a match!!  

Sweet!

Oh, and Nifft - where in NYC are ya located?


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## mythago (Oct 15, 2003)

I am ready to start my match-up whenever.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 15, 2003)

Judgment posted for Nifft vs. Wicht.  Mythago, you might want to hang around these parts tomorrow around 11 EDT or so, when I'm likely to start looking for the final matchup of the first round.  You'll be up against Cool Hand Luke, and I can start you guys as soon as both entries from the current round are in and we can all check in.

Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 15, 2003)

Okey dokers. Just didn't want you to have to worry about me checking in before you posted the ingredients.


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## el-remmen (Oct 15, 2003)

Wicht by a hair!

Actually, I would have been hard-pressed to choose a winner myself.  While I liked Nifft's a whole lot more than Wicht's (sorry old buddy), Wicht's did have a better use of ingredients over all.

I loved the slaves in Nifft's and how they are not all that redeeming - but are evil as well as a result of being repressed - and I love thed great crystal being the cracked mirror - though I think giving it more "mirror' qualities would have been a good idea.

It was a great showing Niffy, and you will be one to watch in future tournaments - we all know Wicht has got the juice to be IRON DM - but it is cool to discover others who have the potential.


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## Nifft (Oct 15, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Oh, and Nifft - where in NYC are ya located?




I'm in the West Village.

About the match -- this time, I struggled to keep my entry brief. Ah well. 

More later, gotta go to a meeting.

 -- N


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## Wicht (Oct 15, 2003)

Good contest Nifft.  Better luck next time.

I gotta agree with the judge, as written, my adventure does seem a bit railroady.  The problem was that I was trying for a sense of futility and it came out as ultra-linear.  Still it was the mood I was going for and in the end the mood was what helped me win so its not all bad.  If I expanded on the idea I would certainly try to throw in some options for the PCs.  In the end though, there is only one way to free the Paladin if you play by hell's rules.  Options therefore would have to be ways to try and bend the rules or else go around the contest.  

When writing the adventure I started with the poppies, the wizard of oz field, and the idea of a sort of dream world, I originally thought of playing nightmare off as the dream not the equine.  The infinite wall, the field of poppies, et al. were supposed to be dreamlike and the solutions fairly simple once one got past the difficulty.

As an adventure, I imagined that each test would probably be failed on the first attempt, creating a sense of futility and then later success when it was worked out.  

Oh, and what can I say, I am horrible at writing riddles.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 15, 2003)

Sweet crispy cheezus on a stick, this is palpably sucky.

From the judgements so far, I figure I had the best shot at winning with Daniel as judge-- non-linear? pathos? riddles?!?-- and here I sit, locked out.

Gaaaaaah!

Whatever, I figure I got me one of them curses, like the Cubs and the Sox.

Wulf


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## el-remmen (Oct 15, 2003)

Nifft said:
			
		

> I'm in the West Village.
> 
> -- N




Cool, I actually work right down on Broadway & 9th - so kinda 'tween the East & West Village.

Always nice to "meet" another NYC gamer.


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## Berandor (Oct 15, 2003)

Man, strong showings, y'all!

What I wouldn't give to work on these ingredients now... 

Perhaps 16 players would have been better? 

Berandor
avid reader of the DM tournaments


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## Nifft (Oct 15, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Cool, I actually work right down on Broadway & 9th - so kinda 'tween the East & West Village.
> 
> Always nice to "meet" another NYC gamer.




Cool! I actually work on Washington Place & B'way (NYU). _tips hat_

*Wicht* -- Congradulations!  (and yeah, lame riddle  )


And now, for my Justifi-- er, *Exposition*:

- "Baraghest": I have no excuse. The 3.5e MM was open right next to me.

- Nightmare: actually, the ingredient was meant to be used as the nightmares that afflicted every mortal in the area, as a sign of the dead god's rise. The steed wasn't called a Nightmare until the very end, and was intended as a nod towards the real ingredient.

- Cracked Mirror: the crystal in question should have been described as polished smokey quartz. 

- Epigram: "poppy seed mixed with sand" -- that's the valley! In this environment they're needy plants, thus the requirement for slave labor.

- Wizard's Motivation: He's also trying to pay back some loans from Infernal bankers. If you think mortal loan sharks are tough ... _shudder!_

- Why a Sphinx? That's just the dead god's symbol (or avatar). Perhaps the dead god is a fallen Shedu lich, or a Sphinx lich, or just likes that shape. At any rate, it's vital that the slaves think the golem is the dead god's avatar, or the wizard wasted his money.


I'll see about running an *IronNPC*(tm) for those who missed out on this IronDM once the current batch of competition is over.

 -- N


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## Rune (Oct 15, 2003)

*Macbeth vs. Rune*

_Ingredients_
*Filthy Nursery* (Weathered Hill’s nursery, of course.)
*Zombie Swarm* (The swarm of zombies, of course.)
*Wyvern* (Mass murderer, alive and dead.)
*Mistaken Hunch* (The mayor’s belief about the curse and maybe, just maybe, the PCs belief that the nails are anything more than a red herring.)
*Nails* (More than a red herring.)
*Familial Love* (That which is lacking in Bartholomew, the townsfolk, and the children.)

*A Familial Story*
_This is an adventure designed to be played with four characters roughly levels 4-6.  It could, if things go badly, be very, very tough, but combat is, otherwise, not very dominant in the scenario._

In the rustic town of Weathered Hill, all is ill.  To the casual visitor (if ever there were any), it would appear as if some terrible plague had descended upon the town and swept away all hope and health.  Such an observation would not, in fact, be too far from the mark.

*…familial love*

It all started with a sibling rivalry.  Two brothers, so close that they drove each other apart, planted the seed.  Indeed, they were very close, and their bond was tight; never would one think of causing harm to the other.  But, one day, love intervened, as it is oft wont to do.  A woman came forth, while both brothers were still on the younger side of twenty, and she captured, unwittingly, perhaps, the hearts of both.  But in the end, it was only one who married her.  And she bore children to only one.

All would have been well, but for the bitterness.  As loneliness corrupted the poor soul of Bartholomew (for that was the name of the brother so maltreated by love) his nature could do naught but change and within another score of years, his love was hatred.

He slew his brother, then, and his brother’s family.

But in the arms of death, his brother laid upon him a curse, and this he spake:

“I weep that my love for you would come to this.  If you would be content to slay me, then so, too, would I be content to die.  But as you slay my wife and children, so shall your hatred consume all around you.  As we were brothers, so shall it be.  Once for you, and once for me.”

What power there is in a dying man’s curse, none can say for certain, but this one came to pass.  Not once, but, twice.

Enter the PCs.

The PCs may encounter the town of Weathered Hill in any number of ways.  It should be fairly simple for them to merely encounter the town in route to other destinations, as any hill in any clime should do.  However, if you would like to specifically direct the PCs toward the town, this could be accomplished in a few of ways.

_Invite them._  The town knows that it is a cursed town, even though it knows not by whom, or for what reason.  It is, therefore, always on the lookout for adventures within the area who might be able to aid in its redemption.  They post signs in neighboring towns, and any wandering resident is likely to bring up the subject, if the opportunity presents itself.

_Trick them._  The town isn’t above lying to adventurers in an attempt to bring them to the town, if they think the mystery of a curse wouldn’t draw them in.  In fact, some folk in town believe this is likely to be the most effective way to solve their problems.  In this case, there is really no limit to what PCs might be told, if it is likely to bring them into the town.  Once in the town, the PCs would then be gradually introduced to the truth of matters (or, that, at least, is the plan).

_Force them._  The town has a militia, and if it knows that adventurers are passing through the area and unlikely to stop by via other means, the militia may be called upon to redirect them.  (The militia has 30 people in it, ranging from level 1 warriors to level 3 fighters--two of these--with most of the militia being level 2 warriors).  This is not a move favored my many in town, and will only be used as a last resort, but still…

Once in the town, the PCs should quickly notice that there are no children.  Whatsoever.  The adults look mostly sickly--even the militia-members--but are, in fact, suffering from no physical disease.  It is sorrow and loss that haunts these folk, and kills them daily by degrees.

The second thing the PCs should quickly notice is that its inhabitants are deeply distrustful of each other, and, consequently, cling to the PCs in desperate hope intensified thereby.

*…mistaken hunch*

The town (populated by about a hundred-fifty grown-folk) supports a graveyard, a town hall (of sorts), and, standing eerily alone, a hollow nursery, once designed as a place for all of the children to live in, with the unusual idea that the healthiest place for children to be raised was among themselves.  Parents in the town used to take turns, watching over the children daily and nightly, a new set of parents each night.  Not that most children stayed the night all of the time, but they all did fairly often.  This, it seemed, helped to build a strong sense of community from early in life, to death.

The town hall is also the residence of the Mayor, a certain Edgar, who is likely to be found there most of the time.  He believes, as many in town do, that the curse is attracted to children, and kills them first.  He believes that it began when they hung Bartholomew for murder, but he is, of course, mistaken.  He believes, also, that Bartholomew’s vengeful spirit is the cause of the curse.  On this matter, he is utterly mistaken.

In fact, Bartholomew isn’t even dead.  How he survived the hanging, none know, for none know that he did.  He simply wasn’t there in the morning, when the townsfolk came to collect the body.

*…filthy nursery*

Bartholomew has been hiding out in the town’s nursery for the better part of a year, known only to the children, now gone.  The children thought him the ghost of Bartholomew, and grew ever more fearful as the days and nights--long, lonely nights--passed by and away.  Perhaps it was the fear that brought the wyvern.  Perhaps it was the bitter, bitter loneliness of the children isolated from each other, each too terrified to play with each other.  Perhaps it was _the curse_, as most people began to call it.  Whatever the reason, the wyvern came.  Some children it ate, some it slew.  No children were left alive by the time the wyvern was brought down by the militia.

That was all but three months past.  Bartholomew now spends little time in the nursery, for fear keeps him away.  Now, should the PCs explore the nursery, they will see only neglect, dust, and…nails.

*…nails*

The nails are coffin nails, left lying on the floor, unnoticed, for the most part, when the bodies of the children disappeared.  Oddly, the nails each name a child, though they did not when they were forged.  When they were pushed up from the coffins by some dark art (or curse), and fell upon the floor, then the names were inscribed.  The inscriptions are fairly difficult to see in the dim lighting of the nursery (if daylight even lights it), but the nails are not.  They are nine inches long and radiate a cold sense of evil.

The nails may point the PCs in the direction of the children as the source of the curse, or a necromancer.  Both hunches would be, shall we say, mistaken.  If they seek a necromancer, the obvious culprit should be Bartholomew.  Indeed, while he is the source, in one sense, of the curse, he has not a magical bone in his body.  The children, on the other hand, are not the source of the curse, but the second incarnation of it.

*…wyvern*

The mystery of the children may lead the PCs into the cemetery, or it may not, but if ever the PCs do enter the cemetery, there they will find Bartholomew.  He is not hiding in the cemetery, nor is he mourning the loss of the children, nor lamenting the coming of the curse.  No.  He weeps for himself, and lost love.  He weeps at his brother’s grave, wherein lies the form of his own self-destruction.

He weeps, and he rambles.  Over and over again, he repeats his brother’s dying curse and, if encountered by the PCs while in this mood, will be willing, though reluctant, to tell its tale.  But first, he will play dead.  Or, rather, undead.

He knows that all of the town thinks him dead, so he will attempt to fool the PCs into thinking he is an apparition.  This will be harder to pull off in the day (say, a spot check with DC 15, vs. a spot check  with DC 25 at night), but daylight will not deter him from such a pretense.  If he is believed to be a ghost, he will attempt to frighten the PCs away, for he wishes to be alone.  Otherwise, he will yield to the PCs desires rather easily and quickly.

All is not well in the graveyard, however.  The wyvern, brought into the town as a weapon of the curse, has fallen victim to the curse, as surely did the children and Bartholomew.  Hatred and fear consumed it so thoroughly that it’s death did not stay it.  It is risen again, a zombie, and stalks the cemetery, searching for something it cannot identify.

If the PCs are in the cemetery, the wyvern-zombie will attack them.  The wyvern is an entirely malign entity and will not be subdued unless utterly destroyed.  It doesn’t fully comprehend that it is dead, nor that it is not as capable in some areas as it might have been and, consequently, has a tendency to plan poorly for battle, specifically in the department of tactical positioning.  Nevertheless, it will likely be a fairly tough fight for the PCs, assuming they fight the thing.

*…zombie swarm*

The wyvern is, of course, but a precursor to the second part of the curse, that is, carnage to the entire town, dealt out by its own children.  They will sweep forth from the shadows, from the crevices, from the dark, unknown places all throughout the town--roughly two hundred zombies, ranging from halfling-size to infant-size.

Naturally (or, more aptly, unnaturally), the town is doomed.  That is, of course, unless the PCs are able to kill a couple of hundred zombie-kids.  Or stop them some other way.  But, in what way?  What way?

Perhaps, it is time to speak of the nature of the curse.  It is not merely violence, nor death, nor fear, nor anger, nor distrust, nor even bitterness.  It is all of these things and more.  It is an all-consuming hatred spread through fear and sorrow.  The PCs are in danger of contracting it themselves--and spreading it--from the moment they enter into the town.  If the town is wiped out by the zombies, it is a sure thing.  (In game mechanics, that’s a willpower save vs. DC 10+1 per malicious death, made every time an the PCs witness or learn about such a death or collection of deaths.  PCs failing this save at any time will become consumed with bitterness, paranoia, and hatred gradually.  This effect is mostly irreversible, though what _that_ means is entirely up to the DM.)

But what is it, exactly, and how is it to be ended?

It is no disease, and paladins are not immune to it (some might say that paladins are especially susceptible to it, though there is no real basis for such an assumption).  It is no simple magic to be dispelled.  It is, sad to say, merely the human (and demi-human) condition and it is within the heart that change must take place.

*…familial love*

The best place would be at the source--the first victim of the curse.  Bartholomew’s brother.  Indeed, his shade lingers still at the grave, though it never makes its presence known.  It is consumed with bitterness and hatred for all the living, but this is only because it has lost its humanity.  Some reminder of life and love could give the shade its rest.

The actual reminder could be anything the PCs think of (if they are inclined to do so, in the first place), but one thing that could do it is the nails--each with a child’s name on it.  These would certainly remind the shade what it means to lose children and, perhaps, that the shade’s curse is vengeance, perhaps even justice; but it is not right.

Once the shade is put to rest, and only then, will the town of Weathered Hill begin to heal.  All will not be set straight overnight.  The power of undeath will leave the place immediately, but that will not bring the children back.  People can begin to trust each other again, but they will have to learn how to do so.  Bartholomew may come to terms with his actions, or he may never.  The town will not hang him again, however, if they ever learn he is still alive.  His punishment has long been served.

Most importantly, the PCs will not be consumed with the curse.  However, more tangibly, the mayor will grant the PCs a fortune (for the town) in gold pieces--about 500.  Additionally, the PCs will be heroes within the town and treated as such for miles around, as increasingly unlikely stories of their heroism escape across the land.

In short, all will, one day, be well in Weathered Hill.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 15, 2003)

Nifft said:
			
		

> - Cracked Mirror: the crystal in question should have been described as polished smokey quartz.




And if Rune had been judging, that might have won you the contest right there.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 15, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> And if Rune had been judging, that might have won you the contest right there.



Huh?

FWIW, I totally got that the crystal was mirrorish; my problem with it as an ingredient is that there were no cool scenes suggested preceding its completion, when such scenes would be vital to running this as an adventure.

Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 15, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Huh?
> 
> FWIW, I totally got that the crystal was mirrorish; my problem with it as an ingredient is that there were no cool scenes suggested preceding its completion, when such scenes would be vital to running this as an adventure.
> 
> Daniel




Wulf's refering to my fondness of the Dark Crystal, which is, in fact _exactly_ what I thought of when I read that passage (surprise, surprise).  In truth though, I'd say I agree with Pie's judgement almost word for word in this case.  Both were excellent entries, to be sure!


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## el-remmen (Oct 15, 2003)

All I can say is that if I had been judging them, I would have been a lot less merciful. .. . especially of myself. . .


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 15, 2003)

Rune said:
			
		

> Wulf's refering to my fondness of the Dark Crystal...




Yup, just being goofy. It was not a critique on the judging at all! 

Except to say that Rune loves being pandered to. The bastard... 


Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 15, 2003)

Ah, okay, Dark Crystal -- I shoulda caught that.  Silly me!

And it's funny, but I thought my critiques so far _were _pretty harsh.  I guess harsh to a Southern boy is different from harsh to a Yankee, eh, Nemmerle?   I'll be sure to be harsher on you next round.

Daniel


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## cool hand luke (Oct 15, 2003)

I'm good to go, the sooner the better.  this weekend I have my sons 1st b-day party, so it's totally out as far as me competing, come early friday afternoon.


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## Macbeth (Oct 15, 2003)

*Iron DM: Macbeth vs. Rune*

*Filthy Nursery*- The nursery where Mithane was molested is morally filthy, and the events of the nursery are the impetus for the threat of the adventure.

*Zombie Swarm*- As punishment for the events in the nursery, The Iron God has sent down an infestation of zombie insects (very Biblical). The insects are symbolic retribution for the sins of the past: since molestation is an invasion of the body, the insects will also invade the bodies of the villagers.

*Wyvern*- Also symbolic, wyvern poison weakens the body, just as the molestation weakened the Mithane’s mind, leading to his eventual suicide.

*Mistaken Hunch*- A play on words, there are two mistaken hunches: Kesher, the hunchback cleric, is mistaken in his assertion that Gerdon was the molester. So not only is the hunch(back) mistaken, but his hunch (as in an idea) is mistaken.

*Nails*- A set of magical nails must be used to crucify Gerdon to save the village. The crucifixion is a symbolic sacrifice steeped in Christian symbolism.

*Familial Love*- Familial love is really the PCs worst enemy. The bonds between Gerdon and his sons, daughter, and wife, all stand in the way of the sacrifice.

*Wrongfully Accused*
An adventure for Low to Mid Level PCs.
The adventure is primarily social with moral dilemmas, so it should be easily adaptable. The primary possible combats, the wyvern and Gerdon’s children can be scaled up or down by adding or subtracting HD (for the wyvern) or levels (for Gerdon’s children).
The adventure is also heavily driven by the wrath of a Lawful Neutral god, known as the Iron God. The Iron god can easily be replaced by any other LN god of law, just change all references to the Iron God to reference you deity instead. Alternatively, 'Iron God' can be a title of any existing god, so that no major changes are needed.

*Summary*: Lord Mithane of Heldret has committed suicide. In the wake of the unexpected death, Kesher, a cleric of the Iron God with a hunchback, took up an investigation, and came to the conclusion that Lord Mithane committed suicide because of the events of his past: Lord Mithane was molested by a caretaker in childhood play room. The emotional scars never healed, and Lord Mithane eventually was driven to take his own life. Kesher searched or the molester, and eventually narrowed his investigation to an old tutor who had worked with Mithane, Gerdon Mekellion. Since the local laws did not allow for punishment of crimes so far past, Kesher took matters into his own hands, and performed a week long ritual to summon the wrath of the Iron God to destroy the town of Heldret. A swarm of undead insects is now on its way to avenge Mithane, but with one minor problem: Gerdon isn’t guilty.
The PCs must defend Heldret, but there is only one known way to stop the swarm other then destroying it: the man the swarm was sent to destroy, Gerdon, must be crucified with magical nails after being weakened with Wyvern’s poison. Of course Gerdon is hesitant to give his life, and his family is not to happy to let him go.

*Plot Hooks*:
Just Visiting: The PCs may just be passing through Heldret, and when the notice the insects approaching, decide to help defend the town.
Family Bonds: Maybe Gerdon has another son or daughter: one of the PCs. The adventure takes on a much more personal nature when a PC would have to sacrifice his/her father to save the town.

*Heldret*: 
Heldret grew up around a long standing cathedral to the Iron God. The cathedral brings in a steady stream of religious visitors, and so a small economy has grown around it. Heldret is ruled by a duke, at least in theory. Really, Heldret is ruled by the government of the larger district around it, with he title of duke being a holdover from more decadent days. With Mithane dead, there is no successor to rule Heldret, so, more then likely the title of Lord of Haldret will be abolished.

*The Sighting*:
Whatever the reason for the PCs being in Heldret, the signs of the approaching swarm are sure to alert them to the impending insect assault. As Kesher finishes his summoning ritual the sky quickly clouds over, and a extremely faint buzzing can be heard (Listen DC 20). Any PC looking to the East may see the beginnings of the forming swarm (Spot DC 18). A single funnel of could descends into the Cathedral of the Iron God.Regardless of the PCs noticing any warning signs, the head of the Heldret guard finds the PCs as soon as possible. Ferwig, the captain of the guard (War 2), knows that the PCs likely have more experience with the supernatural then he does. He will ask them to help out of the kindness of their hearts, since he cannot offer money. If hard pressed for compensation, he can offer discounts at local shops and small favors, but he has no money to offer. If the PCs agree to help, he gives them directions to his office, giving the PCs a good contact point to 
get further information.
At this point the PCs are likely to either check out the forming swarm or take a look at the point where the funnel touches down: in the tower of the cathedral.

*Inspecting the Swarm*:
The swarm begins mostly insubstantial, and grows more and more real over a twenty-four hour period, at the end of which the swarm levels the town, kills the inhabitants, and disappears. The swarm cannot be interacted with, in essence it is not yet in existence, and so cannot be affected by anybody except the Iron God, who created it.

*The Cathedral*:
The cathedral is unguarded, it is, after all, a place of worship to the Iron God, not a fortress. Nothing prevents the PCs from proceeding directly to the bell tower where Kesher has sits, waiting for the immanent destruction of Heldret. 
Kesher, small human man in priestly robes with an obvious hump in his back, is expecting the PCs. He has set himself up in a win/win situation: if the PCs decide to stop the swarm by sacrificing Gerdon, he has succeeded in killing the murderer. If the PCs do not stop the swarm by that method, he is sure Gerdon will be killed anyway. He will explain the entire situation to the PCs, including Mithane’s's molestation, Kesher's investigation, and the evidence for Gerdon's guilt. The evidence for Gerdon's guilt boils down to “he was in the same place at the same time, and everybody else said they didn't do it, so Gerdon must have.” 

*The Choice*:
Kesher provides the PCS with a choice: allow the swarm to destroy the town, letting “justice be served,” or crucify Gerdon, cleansing Heldret of his supposed sin. He even provides the PCs with the information they need to ceremonially crucify Gerdon: to punish him for weakening Mithane's soul, his body must be weakened by a Wyvern's poison, and to signify his acceptance of sin a ceremonial set of magic nails that Kesher will gladly give the PCs must be driven through Gerdon's hands.
The swarm should be portrayed as intimidating: as it becomes more and more real the zombie swarm's buzzing fills the air, and when the attack finally begins the buzzing drowns out all but the loudest noise. The PCs can fight, and defeat, the swarm, but the damage to Herdet will likely be irreparable. 


*Evacuation*: 
The PCs may decide to evacuate the city. This is a good solution, but the swarm still destroys the city. This may give them time to convince Kesher that Gerdon is innocent, but damage has still be done, and the city is leveled.

*Confronting Gerdon*: 
If the PCs confront Gerdon (male human Expert 5), he tries to defend himself, not in combat, but by asserting his innocence. Gerdon is rather old now, soon to be a Grandfather, and he is loath to give up his family life for the good of the city, especially when he has committed no wrong. If the PCs do convince him to surrender his life, his family stands in their way: the bonds of love run both ways, and Gerdon's two sons and one daughter will defend him, even in combat if necessary. Gerdon's sons are Sered (male human Ftr 7), and Thumus (male human Wiz 6), and his daughter Mesela (female human Rog 6). They all have taken to adventuring, but  return home often to visit, and are at home on one such visit during the events of the adventure.

*Getting the Wyvern's Poison*: 
Kesher has no objections to Gerdon dying, he just can't carry out the punishment himself, so the poison is easy to get, even though it cannot be bought anywhere in Herdet. A wyvern makes its home just north of Herdet, and the PCs can easily walk it in an hour each way. The wyvern is old, and not particularly aggressive, but it will defend itself if the PCs enter its nest. The poison can be harvested from a dead Wyvern, or some can be removed from a wounded PC who has been hit by the wyvern's sting with a Heal check (DC 18). 

*Kersher*: 
If the PCs investigate Kesher’s quarters they find the reason for his hump: a huge rack of weights, each one with a piece of parchment attached, each piece of parchment bearing a sin that Kesher has committed. It is clear that Kesher sets these weights on his shoulders as penance. Most of the sins are of no consequence (“having seconds at dinner,” “forgetting my daily prayer,” etc.), but one that may interest the PCs reads “Not Saving Mithane.” It appears that the reason for Kesher’s obsessive search for Mithane’s molester was driven by a lingering guilt. 

*Stopping the Swarm*: 
To stop the swarm the PCs must crucify Gerdon on the town's gates using the nails Kesher gave them, and inject him with the wyvern poison. If he is only crucified, but not poisoned, the swarm has diminished effects, but it still attacks the town (see running the swarm, below). The PCs crucifying Gerdon as the swarm floods towards Herdet can make a climactic final scene.

*Gerdon's Innocence?*: 
If the PCs make an effort to investigate, they can find Mithane's personal journal with a Gather Information check (DC 21). The check only reveals the journals location, the PCs must break into Mithane's old room (on the third story of the tallest building in town). Once inside the room, the journal is easy to find, Search check DC 19 to find the journal tucked under the bed. The journal mentions the molester, but does not list a name. The journal speaks glowingly of Gerdon, making it highly unlikely that Gerdon committed The crime. However, the journal does not explicitly clear Gerdon, so the PCs may reach their own conclusion.

*The Swarm*: 
If the Swarm hits the town without any mitigating factors (PC intervention, Gerdon's crucifixion, etc.), The Swarm will deal 1d4 damage every round to every living being within the town as they crawl into every orifice, and 1d10 to any objects, ignoring Hardness as The undead insects burrow under into the material. The PCs can attack the swarm, but slashing and piercing weapons have little effect, dealing only half damage. If the PCs can deal over 200 points of damage, the  swarm dissipates, and anything still left standing is safe.   

*Dramatic Scenes*: 
The crucifixion, if it happens is by far the most dramatic scene, with Gerdon nailed to the gates, dying from the Wyvern poison, and the Swarm approaching.
 Other possible dramatic scenes include the first appearance of the zombie swarm, and Gerdon’s family coming to his defense.

*Rat Bastardly*: 
The real bastardly thing is the decision the PCs must make: is the towns well being worth the sacrifice of an old man who has committed no crime?


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## Sollir Furryfoot (Oct 16, 2003)

Awesome entries, just browsing but I imagine I'll read them closer in the future.  In Nifft's, I think it would have been cool if when the mirror was repaired, anyone staring into it would have seen the face of the death god instead of their own image, and instantly be slain.  With enough sacrafices the death god would have enough energy to rise again.

Just a random thought.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

*Judgment: Rune vs. Macbeth*



Both entries intrigued me right from the start.  One entry held up to the coolness of the initial summary, however, while the other one ended up disappointing me.



First, some overall thoughts:
*Characters:*  This match had more cool characters than any previous match.  Rune's hating brothers were a classic trope and evocative; although his zombie wyvern didn't exactly have a developed personality, it was weird and creepy enough that I could easily see its being a memorable character for players.  Macbeth, however, really shone in the character development, especially with his vengeful priest and innocent tutor.  Again, the old wyvern who was nonagressive but would defend his own life fiercely was an interesting use of the ingredient.


*Spectacle:*  How could anyone NOT use a zombie swarm for a spectacle?  Both entries had multiple spectacles; in each entry, a town being destroyed by the zombie swarm figured prominently.  Rune's had also the faux-ghost in the graveyard and the nursery scattered with coffin-nails, both very cinematic scenes; Macbeth's crucifixion of an innocent man would have similar effects.  However, I don't expect the crucifixion would ever happen:  in a game of heroic fantasy, few PCs are going to agree to such a devil's bargain.



*Mood:*  Strong moods appear in both entries.  Rune's adventure develops the theme of familial love quite well; vengeance and forgiveness and the complications of family are intertwined through the backstory and much of the adventure.  Macbeth's mood is much more one of vengeance and perverted justice; although these come through loud and clear, they're not drawn from the ingredients as Rune's mood was, and therefore aren't as strong for the competition.



As for specific ingredients:

*Filthy Nursery:*  Rune's nursery is one of three major scenes in his adventure (the others are the graveyard, and the streets of the town once the swarm descends).  Although I didn't really buy the explanation that the town's kids were raised communally, the adventure wouldn't really have suffered from removing that explanation entirely.  Macbeth's nursery suffered from not appearing in the adventure whatsoever: it was in a backstory, and the PCs may never even realize a nursery existed.  Furthermore, its filthiness (symbolic only) was a bit of a stretch.  Rune's use was clearly superior.

*Wyvern:*  both wyverns were pretty lame.  The wyvern was drawn by the curse, Rune?  Why not a manticore, or a hill giant, or a plague of hell wasps?  Its wyvernness had nothing to do with the adventure.  Macbeth, at least, had a bit of an explanation:  the redemption to the curse required poison, and wyverns have poison.  Why not use some other kind of poison, however, some kind that's easier to obtain?  A brief explanation (e.g., that the Iron God considers wyverns an embodiment of corruption) would have sufficed; lacking such an explanation, the ingredient's use seemed arbitrary.  Rune's, however, was totally arbitrary, and therefore Macbeth's was better.

*Zombie Swarm:*  when the nursery and the swarm both came up as ingredients, I knew someone would do zombie kids, and Rune didn't disappoint.  I was pleasantly surprised that their existence was well-justified.  Macbeth's locust swarm was cool and Biblical indeed in scope - but I could find no reason at all for them being zombie locusts. Indeed, a god of justice doesn't seem likely to me in most campaigns to raise zombies.  Without such an explanation of why they were zombies, this was a weak ingredient use.  Especially compared to Rune's horde of precious-moments killers.

*Nails:*  Interesting uses both; I was a little surprised no one went with fingernails.  By this point in the story, Rune's curse is really working overtime with all the specific effects it's causing - and why does the curse care about writing kids' names on the nails anyway?  It's a good clue, but I'm not sure the story justified it.  Macbeth's magical nails of crucifixion were very creepy and very appropriate; even though I expect they'd never get used, their mere existence ought to be enough to propel the characters forward.  Macbeth wins on this one.

*Mistaken Hunch:*  both of you had multiple mistaken hunches.  Both integrated them fairly well into the adventure.  One of Macbeth's was clever (the well-justified hunch on the cleric, weighted down with his own sins); the other, however, was problematic.  Obviously the tutor wasn't guilty; who was?  In not answering this question, the adventure is unsatisfying.  Further, the priest seems to have an especial interest in the suicide guy; are we supposed to suspect the priest, therefore?  Finally, couldn't this whole mistaken hunch be corrected via simple use of zone of truth?  Problems, problems problems.  All the same, I found Macbeth's hunches more interesting than Rune's.

*Familial love:*  Rune's familial love was great, although I was initially skeptical:  an ingredient that figures into the adventure by its absence?  It worked, though, and indeed the multiple examples of familial love gone bad (brother kills brother, husband loses family, parents lose children, children return as zombies and kill parents) made this Rune's strongest ingredient.  Macbeth's familial love, on the other hand, wasn't nearly so impressive: it felt like a side-note, inasmuch as it only comes into play if the adventurers decide to crucifix an innocent man.

Overall, Macbeth, I was pretty intrigued by your adventure from the synopsis at the beginning.  Unfortunately, I found it to be plagued with problems, both in terms of use of ingredients and in plausibility (see notes under "hunch" above).  With a bit of tightening, it could be great; certainly the basic idea of a town about to be destroyed out of a mistaken verdict is a cool seed for an adventure.  Rune's adventure needs some work in better incorporating the wyvern, but otherwise has a number of cool scenes in it, a collection of red herrings, and a juicy combat or two.



*Round goes to Rune.*  Congratulations!
Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

I'm heading off to watch Angel now, but if both Cool Hand Luke and Mythago are willing, I'll post ingredients for their match at 10:30 EDT tonight; otherwise, we can start their match sometime tomorrow morning.  Remember to give me three numbers between one and twenty.

Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 16, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> I'm heading off to watch Angel now, but if both Cool Hand Luke and Mythago are willing, I'll post ingredients for their match at 10:30 EDT tonight; otherwise, we can start their match sometime tomorrow morning.  Remember to give me three numbers between one and twenty.




That would be so perfect as to reach for pluperfect. 

6, 2, 17


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

Given that it's about 10:15 and Cool Hand Luke hasn't checked in, and that I'm still at my brother's house and don't have my ingredients here, I'm going to check once more once I get home to see if CHL has said he's up for starting tonight.  Otherwise it'll be tomorrow morning.  I'll check before midnight; lemme know if both of you are okay with the game starting sometime between 11:30 and midnight EDT.

Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 16, 2003)

I'm good to go anytime here.


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## cool hand luke (Oct 16, 2003)

I'd be a lot better of starting tomorrow morning, if that's ok

7, 12, 17


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

Dangit, my message from last night didn't register!  Anyway, I'm ready as soon as you guys are; check in, and we'll get started.

Daniel


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## cool hand luke (Oct 16, 2003)

let's go!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

All right, Mythago said we could go whenever, so I'm going to interpret that as right now.  Given the 24-hour time limit, I think that's reasonable.


Mythago vs. Cool Hand Luke

*Ingredients*
*Unstable Platform*
*Crippled Aboleth*
*Dragon Turtle*
*Magic Mouth*
*Forgotten Tongue*
*Destiny*

24 Hours, no editing, good luck, blah blah blah
Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 16, 2003)

Good timing.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

Judgment posted for Rune vs. Macbeth.
Daniel


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## Berandor (Oct 16, 2003)

Wow, good fight, both!

I agree on the judgement; while I thought Macbeth's adventure was intriguing, I really enjoyed Rune's and in fact could see me playing through that one soon 

Berandor
excited to the the semi-finals - so far, no contestant has really been a let-down

ETA: Obviously, in German, "the the" means "see the"


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## el-remmen (Oct 16, 2003)

Much like the previous match, I prefer the losing competitor's adventure idea - but the winner's was presented better and filled out the use of the actual ingredients better.  

I hate when that happens.

I hope I go against Rune in the next round.      I will _so_ beat his ass.


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## Macbeth (Oct 16, 2003)

Congrats, Rune. I new when writing my adventure that I might run into problems with not having actual eveidene for the tutor's evidence, but I didn't think I could include more in a short sysnopsis. Oh well, your entry was great rune, so go out and win, so i can at least say I lost to the champion.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Much like the prviosu match, I prefer the losing competitor's adventure idea - but the winner's was presented better and filled out the use of the actual ingredients better.



That's pretty close to how I felt; such matches are very difficult to judge, damn you guys.  I'll just add that in addition to being presented better and filling out the ingredients better, the winner's adventure was *developed* better.  All the good adventure seeds in the world won't help if they're not properly developed.

Daniel


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## Dave Turner (Oct 16, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Much like the previous match, I prefer the losing competitor's adventure idea - but the winner's was presented better and filled out the use of the actual ingredients better.



I'll also echo this sentiment.  As a philosophy major, I immediately recognized Macbeth's adventure as an illustration of a classic moral dilemma, so I was suckered in right there.  

It really is tough to make meaningful use of *six* ingredients in such a short timeframe.  I don't think I've seen an entry yet that made great use of _every_ ingredient.  There always seems to be at least one that resists integration.  I'm not complaining, mind you, since this is just the crucible that Iron DMs are forged in.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> It really is tough to make meaningful use of *six* ingredients in such a short timeframe.



Now that the ingredients for the first four matches have been chosen, I have a question. I've heard from one source that the ingredients are a little on the easy side; on the other hand, Dave suggests that they were plenty difficult. Shall I ratchet up the difficulty of ingredients for the next round? Require more ingredients? Or are things fine?

Everyone's input is welcome here.

Daniel


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 16, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> ...such matches are very difficult to judge, damn you guys....



C'mon, you're an IRON DM judge, don't be such a whiner... You need to tone down the nice guy act and get MEAN! Like, "Maybe if one of you guys had turned in a decent entry this would have been easier..." or something. 

I mean, I just expected more blood splattered on the audience! And don't hand 'em band aids afterwards! I don't think the contestents will hold it against you.

Edit: I forgot the smilies. Let's see...


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

I tell ya, I feel like I AM being brutal.  I worked for four years as a writing tutor, and it's hard ignoring that training .  You're not gonna get more brutal than I'm being now:  if my judgments have value, it's in specificity, not insults.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 16, 2003)

I've said it before, but my favorite reply to a round as an IRON DM JUDGE was _"Man, It is entries like these that make me wish I could eliminate the both of you."_ 

Anyway, Daniel, traditionally the ingredients should get harder as the rounds progress - and I don't know about anyone else - but that is what I expect.


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## alsih2o (Oct 16, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> I tell ya, I feel like I AM being brutal.  I worked for four years as a writing tutor, and it's hard ignoring that training .  You're not gonna get more brutal than I'm being now:  if my judgments have value, it's in specificity, not insults.
> 
> Daniel





 you rock peilo, don't let them get you down. and if they do get you down, bite their ankles like you eman it!


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 16, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Now that the ingredients for the first four matches have been chosen, I have a question. I've heard from one source that the ingredients are a little on the easy side; on the other hand, Dave suggests that they were plenty difficult. Shall I ratchet up the difficulty of ingredients for the next round? Require more ingredients? Or are things fine?



It does seem that some ingredients natrually fit together. "Filthy Nursery" and "Zombie Swarm" fit because filth is associated with zombies. "Crippled Aboleth" and "Dragon Turtle" are both ocean creatures. "Bhargest" and "Nightmare" both lead into a Fiendish plotline. The first set of ingredients didn't seem to have any clear correlations, though, which is perhaps why Dave in particular thought it was difficult.

I don't have much experience participating with these contests, but the common method seems to be to fit together two or three ingredients that the writer can think of something REALLY good for, and then work in the rest as best they can. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The more clear correlations between ingredients the easier it is to come up with an initial plot and the more likely it is for the two entries to be similar.

Recommendations: It's hard to consistantly estimate the difficulty of the ingredients, but the only way I can see to do it would be to consistantly try to avoid ingredients that look like they go well together. Example, change the "filthy nursery" to the "Tidy nursery," except that would go well with familial love. But I think you get my point. This makes it more difficult, but at least it's difficult for everybody.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 16, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Judgment posted for Rune vs. Macbeth.
> Daniel




As someone who reads the thread regularly and sequentially, I have to say that going back into the thread to find the judgement doesn't really ease the reading any...


Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

I'd also noticed that several sets of ingredients seem to fit together naturally.  Since they're being chosen randomly, I ascribed it to the luck of the draw.  For future rounds, I'll break randomness enough to make them not fit together well; you might end up seeing instead see sets like Zombie Swarm, Forgotten Tongue, Crippled Aboleth, Nails, Field of Poppies, and Familial Love. (I at least don't see any immediate connections in that set).

No more letting you wankers randomly choose ingredients that fit well together!
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 16, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> As someone who reads the thread regularly and sequentially, I have to say that going back into the thread to find the judgement doesn't really ease the reading any...
> 
> 
> Wulf




Poor Pielorinho - everyone is biting and sniping at him  

What a role reversal for the judge! 

Anyway,  I was gonna recommend adding a link to the specific ijudgement post in your post announcing that the judgement has been posted (say _that_ five times fast) - you can get it from the address window after you've edited the original place-holder post.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> As someone who reads the thread regularly and sequentially, I have to say that going back into the thread to find the judgement doesn't really ease the reading any...



Fair point, Wulf; in the future, I'll give a link to the judgment when I post it.  I'm going to retain the format of trying to put the judgment post as close as possible to the entries, however; when I read tournaments, I like to be able to scroll up to the entries and refer to them when I'm reading judgments.

Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Poor Pielorinho - everyone is biting and sniping at him



Oh, I don't much care about that; if writing tutoring taught me anything else, it was to discount the complaints of whiny, self-absorbed freshmen .

Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 16, 2003)

Good show Macbeth (and great name, for that matter)!  Had me worried, to be sure!  Loved the way you played around with the literary imagery!

That said...



			
				Dave Turner said:
			
		

> I'll also echo this sentiment.  As a philosophy major, I immediately recognized Macbeth's adventure as an illustration of a classic moral dilemma, so I was suckered in right there.
> 
> It really is tough to make meaningful use of *six* ingredients in such a short timeframe.  I don't think I've seen an entry yet that made great use of _every_ ingredient.  There always seems to be at least one that resists integration.




I have.  A handful of times.

And...



			
				Bullywug Bastard said:
			
		

> I hope I go against Rune in the next round.  I will so beat his ass.




We'll have our day, Nemm.  We'll have our day.   

Finally, Pie.  It is true that, traditionally, the ingredients have always gotten tougher as the rounds go by, but there is a special kind of difficulty associated with ingredients that _seem_ simple.  In short, don't worry about it.  The two types of ingredient lists simply require different skills of the competitors.


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## Dave Turner (Oct 16, 2003)

It's not that the ingredients themselves are all difficult, but rather the timeframe that causes the difficulty.  Given a week, I'm sure that most people could make solid and innovative use of all six ingredients.  It's not necessarily the ingredients that are hard, but rather the time restriction that sometimes hinders inspiration.  

I don't think you should be second-guessing the ingredients.  The ingredients are just the luck of the draw.  A particular set might magically connect in a particular person's brain in the first minute, while another brain might ultimately make poor use of them.  There's no way to predict or second-guess that, so just pick the ones you feel are best.

Rune writes [regarding making great use of every ingredient]:


> I have. A handful of times.



I repeat what I said: I don't think an entry I've seen yet has made great use of every ingredient.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 16, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> You might end up seeing instead see sets like Zombie Swarm, Forgotten Tongue, Crippled Aboleth, Nails, Field of Poppies, and Familial Love. (I at least don't see any immediate connections in that set).




I'd immediately link the aboleth, forgotten tongue, and poppies, and it's not much of a stretch from there to mind-controlled "zombies."  

I wouldn't want to touch Familial Love with a 10-foot pole. I hate abstract, literary ingredients.


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## Dave Turner (Oct 16, 2003)

MerakSpielman said:
			
		

> It does seem that some ingredients natrually fit together. "Filthy Nursery" and "Zombie Swarm" fit because filth is associated with zombies. "Crippled Aboleth" and "Dragon Turtle" are both ocean creatures. "Bhargest" and "Nightmare" both lead into a Fiendish plotline. The first set of ingredients didn't seem to have any clear correlations, though, which is perhaps why Dave in particular thought it was difficult.



Actually, Merak, my entry and nemmerle's both had several parallels, but not through explicit linking of ingredients.  Both of us had a ranger/shadow nemesis (that was just flat-out weird synchronicity), a forest transformed by shadow energy, and shadow mastiffs that were actually regular animals infused with shadow energy (my wolves vs. nemmerle's sheepdogs).

I can see your point, though, especially in the aboleth/dragon turtle thing.  I think I instinctively linked ingredients in my head (funeral/unicorn was the first one I had and I stuck with it), but that wasn't due to any obvious connection between the two.

Although, in hindsight, there might be some relatively obvious link between funeral/betrayal.  The most dramatic betrayals are ones involving death and funerals also, strangely, reference death.


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## Fanog (Oct 16, 2003)

Just wanted to drop by and say I've been enjoying following the competition. Almost wished I had (tried to) enter. 

I'll be sure to read the rest of the stories with great interest and pleasure. Keep up the good work, everyone. 

Fanog


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

re:  dragon turtles and crippled aboleths:  wait until the entries are in before discussing these further.  The discussion is probably harmless, but all the same, we shouldn't be discussing any ingredients specifically until they're no longer in play.

Daniel


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 16, 2003)

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> Actually, Merak, my entry and nemmerle's both had several parallels...



I know. I was deliberately ignoring evidence that contradicted my hypothosis. That's what science is all about, right?


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## Dave Turner (Oct 16, 2003)

Pie writes:


> re: dragon turtles and crippled aboleths: wait until the entries are in before discussing these further. The discussion is probably harmless, but all the same, we shouldn't be discussing any ingredients specifically until they're no longer in play.



Ack!  Fair enough.  Still, as you suggest, what's on the table is probably pretty harmless.  Hell, it's relatively obvious and as a contestant, I would try to shy away from that if I could.  

Merak writes:


> I know. I was deliberately ignoring evidence that contradicted my hypothosis. That's what science is all about, right?


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## Rune (Oct 16, 2003)

Okay.  Exposition time.


			
				Pie said:
			
		

> First, some overall thoughts:
> *Characters:*  This match had more cool characters than any previous match.  Rune's hating brothers were a classic trope and evocative; although his zombie wyvern didn't exactly have a developed personality, it was weird and creepy enough that I could easily see its being a memorable character for players.




As soon as I put the ingredients together, I knew that I wanted this to be a redemptive tale.  Inferior characterization or no, I do think I had Macbeth on pathos.



> *Spectacle:*  How could anyone NOT use a zombie swarm for a spectacle?  Both entries had multiple spectacles; in each entry, a town being destroyed by the zombie swarm figured prominently.  Rune's had also the faux-ghost in the graveyard and the nursery scattered with coffin-nails, both very cinematic scenes.




Zombie children (a nod to Jonrog).  I had to do it.  I just had to.



> *Mood:*  Strong moods appear in both entries.  Rune's adventure develops the theme of familial love quite well; vengeance and forgiveness and the complications of family are intertwined through the backstory and much of the adventure.




I tried to have my ingredients appear so often (and subtly) that they wove together in a net that I could rest the scenario on.  I think I pulled it off pretty well, particularly with the thematic elements that keep popping up.



> *Filthy Nursery:*  Rune's nursery is one of three major scenes in his adventure (the others are the graveyard, and the streets of the town once the swarm descends).  Although I didn't really buy the explanation that the town's kids were raised communally, the adventure wouldn't really have suffered from removing that explanation entirely.




It was more like a daycare that was also, frequently, a sleep-over place, too.  Still it was really just yet another play on the "familial love" ingredient.



> *Wyvern:*  both wyverns were pretty lame.  The wyvern was drawn by the curse, Rune?  Why not a manticore, or a hill giant, or a plague of hell wasps?  Its wyvernness had nothing to do with the adventure.




Point conceded.  I was (also) thinking along symbolic lines, but since I didn't mention anything about it...point conceded.



> *Zombie Swarm:*  when the nursery and the swarm both came up as ingredients, I knew someone would do zombie kids, and Rune didn't disappoint.  I was pleasantly surprised that their existence was well-justified.




Again, weaving ingredients.  Plus a nod to Jonrog, how could I not do it?



> *Nails:*  Interesting uses both; I was a little surprised no one went with fingernails.  By this point in the story, Rune's curse is really working overtime with all the specific effects it's causing - and why does the curse care about writing kids' names on the nails anyway?  It's a good clue, but I'm not sure the story justified it.




Point taken about the names, but sometimes you just have to have cool imagery.  Also, this is a weaving with the mistaken hunch ingredient, by serving as a red herring.



> *Mistaken Hunch:*  both of you had multiple mistaken hunches.  Both integrated them fairly well into the adventure.  All the same, I found Macbeth's hunches more interesting than Rune's.




I thought for sure that by including the red herrings (thereby insuring PC interaction with the ingredient), I'd have this one, but oh well.  



> *Familial love:*  Rune's familial love was great, although I was initially skeptical:  an ingredient that figures into the adventure by its absence?  It worked, though, and indeed the multiple examples of familial love gone bad (brother kills brother, husband loses family, parents lose children, children return as zombies and kill parents) made this Rune's strongest ingredient.




I wanted to try something new.  Glad it worked!


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## Rune (Oct 16, 2003)

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> Rune writes [regarding making great use of every ingredient]:
> 
> *"I have.  A handful of times."*
> 
> I repeat what I said: I don't think an entry I've seen yet has made great use of every ingredient.




WOAH!  Hold on a minute!  I was saying I've _seen_ it a number of times.  I've only _done_ it twice.


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## el-remmen (Oct 16, 2003)

Could it be that the IRON DM webpage I long ago mentioned might come to fruition?  

It might, Rabbit.  It might. 

Since work has been slow and I will have a while to wait before my next round I have started by collecting the existing IRON DM tournaments into a word doc and from there I will go about designing something simple and presentable for the site.

No promises.  I have a tendency to jump from project to project - but at least I will be likely to work on this one at work - as it can _look_ like I _am_ doing work. 

Edit: Wow, I must have written those judgments rather hurriedly - while I still stand by the results - they are rife with typos!


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 16, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Could it be that the IRON DM webpage I long ago mentioned might come to fruition?




To be followed, of course, by a _book_...    

Wulf


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## Dave Turner (Oct 16, 2003)

Rune said:
			
		

> WOAH!  Hold on a minute!  I was saying I've _seen_ it a number of times.  I've only _done_ it twice.



I stand corrected.


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## Rune (Oct 16, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> To be followed, of course, by a _book_...
> 
> Wulf




Do tell...


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## Wicht (Oct 16, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> To be followed, of course, by a _book_...
> 
> Wulf



will there be royalties for the authors?


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## el-remmen (Oct 16, 2003)

Wow.  Just for those interested - the Spring 2002 Tournament (which Rune won) is over 60 pages in word doc format. . . 

I may just do a site for one tournament as a way of testing out the best format for presenting it - and then tweak it as I go with the later ones.

Suggestions are welcome - but maybe I should start up another thread for that.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 16, 2003)

Nem, are you removing the comments from the tournament when putting it in a .doc?  Or are you keeping it in all its messy glory?

I'd vote for taking out all miscellaneous talk (scheduling, questions about format, etc.) but leaving in trash-talking, ingredients posts, entries, judgments, and exposition.

I mention my vote because I know you'll decide this democratically.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 16, 2003)

Daniel, I removed EVERYTHING but ingredients, entries and judgments.

Though I was considering including a few examples of exposition in a special exposition and comments section of the site. 

I'll start that thread now. . .  
and here it is ------------>http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?t=66579


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 16, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> will there be royalties for the authors?




Royalties, no. Payment, of course.

And the work's already done, so that's a pretty good deal.

Not to mention the fame to go with the small fortune.


Wulf


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## mythago (Oct 17, 2003)

*mythago v. Cool Hand Luke*

Sea Hag's Woe
_a d20 adventure for PCs around level 10_

*The Invasion*

The communities of elves, like those of bees, grow and become crowded, then split off into smaller communities as a new leader brings a satellite group away from the greater fold. Three hundred years ago, one such group of sea elves left their prince's court under the leadership of his youngest brother. When they settled in the Pale Atoll, they thought they had found paradise; a clear lagoon, wrapped in a ring of coral to keep out large predators, quiet and far from the land dwellers.

Then a troop of human mutineers, cast from their ship to die at sea, ran aground.

*The Quarrel*

The half-elf descendants of the sea elf women who survived the invasion are very different from their grandmothers. They can swim and remain underwater for long periods of time, but must breathe air; they are stronger and hardier, but shorter-lived. They all speak a guttural Common--Aquatic is a forgotten tongue to them, save for a few clerics who use it for prayers. There are no longer any true sea elves left in the Pale Atoll. The mutineers killed all but a handful of their women, and by now they have long since died, often by their own hand.

As with their forebears, the half-elves quarreled and a minority faction left (or was driven from) the Pale Atoll. They lashed together boat hulls, driftwood, salvaged beams from shipwrecks, and anything else that would float into a giant unstable platform, using the sailor wisdom of their grandfathers and a few, barely remembered cantrips of sea-safety from their grandmothers. They built a floating village that would be their home on the waves, climbed aboard, and went where the ocean's currents took them. They brought fishing nets, weapons, one of the Pale Atoll's two living clerics, and a _decanter of endless water_. For the most part they were content to be carried along, taking from the sea, or from the occasional unlucky vessel; another gift from their grandfathers had been the knowledge of how to take and loot an enemy ship.

One day they crossed paths with a ship that was unluckier than most.

*The Sea Hag's Woe*

The Elect is a council of seven venerable servants of good--paladins, wizards, and nobility have all served in its ranks--dedicated to eliminating evil's physical manifestations and lessening its power. To this end, they commissioned a group of adventurers to recover an artifact known as the Sea Hag's Woe. After a long and difficult journey the adventurers succeeded. Unfortunately, the group's Bard couldn't resist trying it out when the Paladin's back was turned, and it brought the curse down on the group--in the form of a late-night sneak attack by the half-elves.

They tortured the Bard, who survived the attack, into explaining the Woe's use, but he died before he told them about its curse. After a lot of bickering, they decided to use for the Woe to summon a creature and use it to pull the platform, rather than have to rely on the winds or the ocean current (which had an annoying tendency to ground the platform from time to time). Elizabai, their cleric, dipped the end of the Woe into the ocean, and in Aquatic, commanded a creature to come and serve as a dray-horse for their village. But when the Woe's magic mouth shrieked its curse in the forgotten tongue none of her shipmates could understand, she lost her mind. A dragon turtle nonetheless appeared, bound by the Woe's power. The other half-elves hooked its shell to the platform with great anchor chains, the winches were turned to steer it, and they were at last fully in control of their destiny. For a little while, anyway.

*An Unwanted Guest*

Not long after, the platform passed close enough to an island to attract the attention of an aboleth. It tried to lure the half-elves out of their unusual vessel, but they fought it fiercely and drove it back. The now-crippled aboleth turned to another avenue of attack; it used its Enslave power on the dragon turtle. Since the aboleth could no longer swim properly, the turtle offered to carry it, an offer the aboleth graciously accepted.

The crippled aboleth intends to wear out the dragon turtle with its poison and its bulk until its carrier dies and sinks to the bottom of the sea, dragging the platform with it; then it can eat the drowning half-elves as it likes. The half-elves can no longer use the Woe, are afraid the aboleth will turn the dragon turtle against them if they fight, and can't get close enough to remove the anchor chains. 

*The Elect*

Meanwhile, the Elect has discovered that their adventurers are unreachable, probably dead, and that the Sea Hag's Woe is still out in the world. The PCs will be sent to locate and recover it. The Elect could hire them; a temple of Good might lay the task on them as a geas; they may even hear rumors of the mighty artifact and slip off to get it on their own. 

If they go through official channels, they will be outfitted with a small, fast ship and an experienced crew. They will be given an approximate location where it is believed the first ship went down, possibly with the Sea Hag's Woe aboard. If they do not already have rings of water breathing, the Elect may offer these (the adventure will be considerably more dangerous otherwise). 

*The Ship is Sighted*

When the PCs arrive in the general area where they think the first ship sunk, they may cross paths with the Pale Atoll exiles. They will see the dragon turtle's scales glitter in the sun briefly, as it lifts the aboleth up for air. If they are able to see great distances, they may even be treated to the odd sight of the dragon turtle giving an aboleth a piggyback ride.

If they draw near, the half-elves will hold their attack; they have enough problems at the moment, and they are desperately hauling on the chains to steer the dragon turtle somewhere useful. There are enough fighters on the platform to wage a pitched battle with the crew; only a handful are powerful enough to be any sort of threat to the PCs.

To resolve the problem and get the Sea Hag's Woe, the PCs have many options, such as:

--Parley with the half-elves. They will make getting rid of the aboleth a condition of their bargain. They will probably demand ridiculous payment as well, but the truth is that they really would rather get rid of the Woe; they fear it and frankly do not need it to steer the dragon turtle. They can explain how the Woe is used, but they know nothing of the curse since it was uttered in Aquatic. Only their cleric speaks Aquatic, and she is stark raving mad.

--Fight the half-elves and take the Woe by force. This will be the  most challenging and deadly option, but the most cinematic. Ship-to-platform combat! Trident-wielding half-sea-elves leaping from the mast! Of course, the half-elves don't have any sort of cannon or fire weapons; if the PCs present these the elves will likely surrender rather than risk sinking. There should be enough low-level fighters to keep the ship's crew occupied without overwhelming the PCs. A few high-level leaders of the village may cause some trouble.

--Use the Sea Hag's Woe to command the dragon turtle, the aboleth, or both. If the PCs didn't ask the half-elves about the use of the Woe before killing them, they will have to figure it out by trial and error or divination spells. Naturally, this will bring the curse down on the PC(s) who used the woe and indirectly on the rest of the party. 

--Break the aboleth's hold over the dragon turtle. This will likely lead to a pitched fight between the two behemoths as the frantic half-elves try to unhook them from the platform, and the force of their battle threatens to swamp the PCs' ship.

--Find a way to cure Elizabai's madness. She will insist that the Woe be handed over to the PCs and good riddance to it. Whether or not she is cured, she will fulfill her cursed destiny as soon as the Woe leaves the platform by leaping into the water to drown.

If and when the PCs do recover the Sea Hag's Woe, they will have to survive the curse (if they have been unfortunate enough to invoke it), the tribulations of a sea voyage across dangerous, monster-infested waters, and the depredations of pirates, enemy nations, and other adventurers who may have heard of their mission...

*Footnotes*

The Sea Hag's Woe is a minor evil artifact, shaped like a large whelk's shell, plain off-white in color, with a greenish cast and always slimy and damp to the touch. Ancient lore says that it was a powerful sea hag's bridal gift to her lover, but when he betrayed her with Sekolah (the shark-goddess of the sahuagin), she cursed it and used its evil power to drive her lover to his death. To use the Woe, it must be at least partly immersed in the water. The user shouts an order, which must be in Aquatic, into the Woe, and a behemoth of the sea is summoned to do the user's bidding. It may be used only once on any particular creature. Using the Woe causes a powerful curse; the user's destiny is rewritten so that he is fated to die and be buried at sea; as soon as the last word of command is spoken, a magic mouth forms and shrieks "May your flesh fatten the children of she-crabs and your bones crack on the bed of the ocean!" in Aquatic. 

The Half-Elves of the Pale Atoll: they have lost most of the abilities of their aquatic forebears, having only vestigial gills. They are good swimmers, can hold their breath for ten minutes easily, and use weapons such as tridents, nets, and spears. They speak guttural Common and neither Elven nor Aquatic. They resemble humans strongly--they are more "part-elf" than truly half-elven--but they still have deep green or blue hair, slightly webbed digits, and the ability to see twice as far as a human in dim light. They are generally neutral, with a slight tendency toward evil.

*Quick NPC Stats:*

Twa'haimish, captain of the Pale Atoll exiles: Half-elf male fighter (10), alignment N

Sailimadden, first mate: Half-elf female sorcerer (11), alignment N

Tall Carranack, captain's bodyguard: Half-elf  male fighter (5)/monk (6), alignment LE

Elizabai, insane and incapacitated cleric: Half-elf female cleric (12), alignment LN

Crippled Aboleth: as per the Monster Manual, but with only one tentacle attack (due to its injury); 9-11 HD, depending on the strength of your group

Dragon Turtle: as per the Monster Manual, but only 12HD+60; it is exhausted and dazed from the aboleth's demands.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 17, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Mythago vs. Cool Hand Luke
> 
> ...
> 24 Hours, no editing, good luck, blah blah blah
> Daniel



It's now been 24 hours, with no-show from *Cool Hand Luke.*  That's an automatic forfeiture.

There's several ways we can proceed, and I'll leave it up to *Mythago* how he (?) wants to handle it.  If he wants to win in a contest, then I'll draw up a new set of ingredients for him versus the first alternate that comes in.  Or, if he's comfortable with it, I'll draw up a set for just the alternate, and judge two entries that use different sets of ingredients (so that *Mythago* doesn't have to write two entries).

If *Mythago* wants to accept the winning-by-forfeiture, that's perfectly fine as well.  Let me know:  you can pretty much do what you want with this round.

*Cool Hand*, if you're out there, what happened?
Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 17, 2003)

Stepping up i9f an alt is needed.


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## Feathercircle (Oct 17, 2003)

I've got a comment to make about at least one aspect of this entry that really stood out to me, but I'm going to refrain from posting it until either Mythago accepts the forfeiture, or Cool Hand Luke shows up and Pielorinho posts his judgement.  That one detail seems to me to really need commentary, but I don't want to bias the judging...    So, I join the bevy of people waiting for Luke to return.


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## el-remmen (Oct 17, 2003)

I think if you can trust an alt who says he has not yet read Mythago's entry - just use the same ingredients - I think it'd be unfair and too difficult to judge using different ingredients for both competitors.

But personally, I think Mythago should just take the bye.


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## mythago (Oct 17, 2003)

I'm not the judge, but I'm willing to give Cool Hand Luke some leeway if there was some heinous real-world issue here.

Otherwise, I'm totally cool with your allowing an alternate 24 hours to submit another entry. Either use the same ingredients (I'm willing to take their word that they haven't slogged through my entry) or, if you prefer, set up a new one.

Just don't make me come up with a whole new entry in the next 24 hours, please.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 17, 2003)

*Wulf*, have you read *Mythago*'s entry?

At this point, my thoughts are that I'll go ahead and start Wulf on an entry -- either using the current ingredients (if he's not read Mythago's) or a new set of ingredients (if he has read Mythago's).  If CHL had a bad set of events in his life, I'm sorry; however, I think the tournament has to move on, one way or another.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 17, 2003)

Sorry to keep harping on this - but I don't think this game can be even _remotely _fair with opponents using different ingredients - especially considering how it is typically judged, not to mention that some sets of ingredients are inherently more difficult than others even when chosen to be of equal difficulty of other match-ups of the same round.


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## Wicht (Oct 17, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Sorry to keep harping on this - but I don't think this game can be even _remotely _fair with opponents using different ingredients - especially considering how it is typically judged, not to mention that some sets of ingredients are inherently more difficult than others even when chosen to be of equal difficulty of other match-ups of the same round.




I gotta agree.  If its not in the rules it oughta be.  Same ingredients or none at all.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 17, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *Wulf*, have you read *Mythago*'s entry?




I can honestly say I have not; and sheepishly admit the only one I've read so far in the whole tourney was Rune's.

(And I didn't even like it.)

I do admit, I think I saw a dragon turtle mentioned near the end of Mythago's post. So presumably I know at least one ingredient.

I left my little typo in my post above, so hurried was I to get in this time. And as soon as I hit post, my piece o' crap Mac here at work bombed on me. I was relieved to see the post actually made it...

FYI-- I'll defer to Luke if he shows up with a reasonable excuse, though I am very eager to pass what's turning out to be an otherwise slow work day...

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 17, 2003)

All right then.  If CHL shows up and offers a rationale for his absence, the Wulf and Mythago may jointly agree to allow him to enter in this round.  If either of them declines, then Wulf's entry will stand against Mythago.  (And if Wulf doesn't make it in by his deadline, then Mythago gets the bye, will he or nil he.)

Mythago vs. Wulf
*Ingredients*
*Unstable Platform*
*Crippled Aboleth*
*Dragon Turtle*
*Magic Mouth*
*Forgotten Tongue*
*Destiny*

Wulf has 24 hours from this timestamp to get his entry in.

Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 17, 2003)

As for the question of using different ingredients, I normally agree.  However, *Mythago *had the option of an automatic win; getting an opponent at all was his choice, and can do nothing but hurt him.  And *Wulf* had the option of remaining an alternate; entering the tournament can do nothing but help him.  Both contestants chose a situation where fairness wasn't in the cards.  In this rare case, I would've been fine with alternate ingredients, as long as both candidates had agreed to it ahead of time.

Fortunately, that didn't happen.
Daniel


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## cool hand luke (Oct 17, 2003)

crud, well guys, I had a brain fart.  I checked last night, and for somereason the time stamp on my computer showed the ingredients posted at 1:10.  So I thought I had until 1:10.  I just remembered I got them before I went to lunch, seems my time stamp is several hours off, I guess I never changed my settings on the new system.  

I can't believe I blew that one.  but I don't think I could beat mythago anyway.


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## el-remmen (Oct 17, 2003)

In terms of scheduling of the next round:

I most likely will not be available for it until next Wednesday (the 22nd) - 

Unless you were willing to do one of them tonight. . .  which since the 1st round isn't over yet (damn you, cool hand luke! ) isn't likely.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 17, 2003)

Depends on when this round is wrapped up, *Nem*.  *Wulf*, could you check in and confirm that you got the ingredients?

*Luke*, sorry to hear about the settings on your computer.  I think you'll agree that wrong settings isn't enough of an excuse to get back in the game, though .  Gotta be fair on this; better luck in future tournaments!

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 17, 2003)

I can also go this evening, but after that, not until Monday.


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## mythago (Oct 17, 2003)

cool hand luke said:
			
		

> I can't believe I blew that one.  but I don't think I could beat mythago anyway.




Bah, don't sell yourself short.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 17, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *Wulf*, could you check in and confirm that you got the ingredients?




Yep. Already making notes...



> *Luke*, sorry to hear about the settings on your computer.  I think you'll agree that wrong settings isn't enough of an excuse to get back in the game, though.




Tell me about it. I didn't make the original cut cause my computer was off by 4 minutes. FOUR MINUTES!

 

Wulf


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

Destiny. Every DM and every player would like to think that the characters are destined to become heroes; but at the same time, no player likes to feel that he’s a victim of Fate, that he has been stripped of free will, and any wise DM is loathe to do so.

Glancing at these ingredients, it immediately struck me that the most troublesome one was Destiny. I hate abstract “literary” ingredients. However, rather than shy away from the challenge this time and try to sneak this ingredient in at the last minute, I’ve decided to turn this one around and try to craft an adventure that plays on Destiny as the primary ingredient. The hope is to give players a sense that they can be destined for greatness, without stripping them of free will, and that such an adventure can be done deftly by the DM. 

I make no predictions as to my success in this risky endeavor...

*Ingredients*
*Unstable Platform*: _The scene for the final battle; a storm-tossed floating island (actually the back of the dragon turtle)._
*Crippled Aboleth*: _Our arch-villain, a powerful, advanced aboleth, imprisoned and “crippled” by circumstances._
*Dragon Turtle*: _Our final confrontation takes place on an island that rises from the sea; actually the back of this critter._
*Magic Mouth*: _The hook by which we first snare the players._
*Forgotten Tongue*: _The language spoken by the forebears of the PCs and their (hopefully) twice-vanquished foe—and the magic mouth._
*Destiny*: _The meta-ingredient that flavors the entire adventure_

*BACKGROUND*
Eons ago, before the great continent was divided and the old empires sank into the sea, the world was ruled by a powerful, malevolent entity. This entity forced its way into the human dimension from a space beyond space; through countless rifts it bubbled and oozed, and at each rift it formed a physical manifestation of itself—the aboleth; many seemingly individual creatures, all merely parts of a greater, evil, whole.

Through generations the aboleth imposed their will upon an enslaved people. Eventually, a band of heroes arose against the aboleth, forcing them out of this dimension and sealing the rift against their return—but merely for a time. In defeating this extra-dimensional foe, they realized the cyclical nature of time. Their work would hold, but not forever, and the battle would begin anew some day. 

Though they would be long dead, physically, their destiny was to face this foe again, and they prepared against that coming day.

*DESTINY*
The PCs are these heroes reborn. They may be changed physically, they may remember nothing of their former lives, but they will slowly come to understand the task before them. It is not a matter of free will. Destiny is not automatically opposed to free-will; it is not predestination, but it is foreknowledge of the outcome. The PCs may choose whatever path they wish, but their situation is such that whatever they choose, they must come to grips with their destiny.

*THE FETISH*
The first “hook” is set when the DM places a seemingly random piece of treasure before the players. This treasure is a small statuette, a fetish seemingly crafted by some sea-faring race. (The statuette depicts, perhaps, some tentacled, vaguely anthropomorphic thing, and radiates alteration magic). The statuette is carved to appear wearing some sort of talisman which it clutches to its chest, obscuring it with its hands. Should anyone touch the talisman, it activates a _permanent *magic mouth.*_ The tentacles on the thing’s face part and the mouth utters some nonsense in a *forgotten tongue*; say, for example,

_"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh wgah'nagl fhtagn." _

The PCs will be utterly at a loss to identify this speech; indeed, in all likelihood there are none alive who can decipher its meaning. Despite the fact that it sounds strangely familiar, it may be nothing more than a curiosity to the PCs. Indeed, they may simply decide to sell it.

If the PCs are capable of studying the fetish, they will find that it radiates alteration magic, and there appear to be several permanent magic mouth spells upon it.

*ODD OCCURRENCES*
Beginning now at his leisure, and occurring rarely and randomly throughout our heroes’ regular adventuring lives, the DM should begin to weave the threads of the players’ destiny—threads seemingly unrelated, but which he will masterfully pull together later to make the PCs dance like puppets.

_Accoutrements: _Here and there, the DM can drop additional items of treasure in the player’s path. It is not important that these items have any cohesive identity (for example, it would not do to repeat sea or tentacle themes so as to bash the players over the head with their destiny). The DMs goal here should be to very slowly attire the PCs in gear that will eventually become reminiscent of the original heroes. It does not matter what the items are, nor even to whom they are allotted, merely that each item have some memorable (and, later, recognizable) feature. The PCs will not grow to resemble the former heroes so much as the DM will later prove the former heroes to resemble the PCs.

_Legendary Roles: _The DM should be on the lookout for players that are slipping into roles or patterns that he can later use to make legends of them: The fire-mage. The storm-calling druid. The fighter with a favored weapon. The talker, the trickster, the gambler. Watch for the players to form habits that the DM can tie together later in vague, but unmistakable ways.

_Dreams:_ A classic weapon in the DM’s arsenal, the players may occasionally have disturbing dreams; one may dream in the forgotten tongue; remembering nothing, he may be unaware of these dreams until he calls out and awaken his companions. (If the players have the fetish, it may respond to this muttering).

_Ancient Emnities: _The DM may hint at the return of the aboleth; indeed, as the "prime" aboleth returns, it will try to seek out and preemptively destroy the PCs. Imagine the particularly horrific (and bizarre) spectacle of an illithid hit-man, sent to dispatch the PCs; vanquished, he mutters—yes! physically utters!-- some nonsense in a forgotten tongue before suddenly using his tentacles _to extract his own brain_ before the PCs can learn anything from him. (If the players have the fetish, it may respond to this muttering...)

As such occurrences mount, more bizarre (yet meaningful) things may occur: the PCs receive some deference from an unexpected adversary (a band of kuo-toa allow them to pass—or a seemingly peaceful delegation goes nuts and attacks them on sight; a displacer beast in a mix of unrelated foes, inexplicably bows before the party before slinking off and abandoning its current masters, etc.). 

*HOOK REDUX*
Eventually, the DM will need to set his hook to bring the players to the climax, unless the players will seek out their destiny on their own. Be patient.

If the players have the statuette, or if they have passed it off to a sage, he may eventually return to them with additional information. Indeed, even if the players sold the statuette, the buyer may return—or a buyer several times removed (through great calamity), who has at last tracked the players down!

Alternately, the significance of the statue may dawn on the players, and they must seek it out again. Indeed, the more the players seem to realize at this point, the more they can connect the dots, the harder it should be for them to recover the statue; it may by now have fallen into the hands of the aboleth’s minions.

At any rate, it becomes clear to the players that the statue speaks, and awaits some response. If the proper response is given this activates another magic mouth and the statue will speak again. The DM is free to decide how many keywords the players must find, and how they may  find them: the statue makes the first utterance, the mind flayer’s key is spoken, and the statue utters a new phrase; this new phrase triggers some memory in the dreaming PC, who speaks the next keyword, and the statue utters the next line of verse and waits again.

You can play this game as often as you like but ultimately, the statue will complete the verse. 

The players may have a rush of memory and, suddenly, a rough translation of the verse comes to them:

_In his tomb the god lies dreaming
Till the six* eons-riven return
And rising up descend again to death’s embrace._

(* or however many party members there are...)

When the verse is complete, the fetish unclasps its hands, and the carved talisman around its neck is made real. Removing the talisman, it reveals a bold, arcane symbol on one side and a carved map on the other.

*DAWNING DESTINY*
The map bears only the vaguest resemblance to any geography known by the players, though eventually it will lead them to the general vicinity where they need to be—a hint of familiar coastline at the edge of the continent, perhaps. The map shows an island where none exists—but upon arriving, the players spot a small, coral-crusted island off the coastline. 

There are ancient, alien, muck-drenched structures atop the island!

Journeying to the island, the players walk among the slimy structures. They will see carvings on the walls, showing heroes locked in battle with tentacled creatures. Here, the thunder-caller parts the steaming sea with a bolt from the sky. There, a wizard cloaked in fire blasts a group of fish-like men. Yet another carving shows a mighty warrior (“Wearing YOUR breastplate!”) standing victorious over a pile of butchered illithid. Another carving shows a charismatic leader urging a wave of followers onward. 

Whatever the party’s composition and gear, there are clues here aplenty, enough coincidences (though not too exact) to give them the growing sense that, somehow, they’ve been here before, and they’ve done these things that are set in ancient stone. The heroes of the carvings should not be a mirror of the PCs, but every player should find something to remind him of his character.

One grand carving shows the group using the talisman to force the aboleth into a stasis bubble of sorts, imprisoning it.

Eventually, the players will discover a tomb in the center of the island; the door may be unlocked by the use of the talisman and a socketed “keyhole” of sorts; or it may be thrown aside by their foe, freed from stasis and now grown to terrible power.

*FINAL BATTLE*
The PCs have two main problems to contend with.

First, the island is in fact the back of a very, very old colossal *dragon turtle*. If the PCs are fairly weak, the dragon turtle may be presented as an ally of the original heroes, tasked with safeguarding the aboleth in this tomb-like prison, and now a source of information to the players. His ability to aid them is somewhat hampered; he has been asleep at the bottom of the sea for a long time, and at any rate there’s not much he can do without risking tipping the PCs and the aboleth into the ocean.

Tipping the aboleth into the ocean would be a _very bad thing_, as that is precisely what it wants; it can then escape fairly easily to the depths. As long as the turtle remains on the surface, the aboleth is *crippled*; it moves slowly across dry land, and will have to slog its way across the coral-encrusted island and down to the water.

The aboleth is the party’s greater concern. If the PCs are fairly powerful, the aboleth may have already _dominated_ the dragon turtle; and at any rate, when the hostilities start, it will begin attempting to do so. It should become apparent to the PCs rather quickly that, with the door to his prison now open, the aboleth could escape to the sea.

Either by dominating the dragon turtle, or by tricking the PCs into unloading dangerous spells onto the poor thing’s back, the aboleth will begin trying to get the dragon turtle to submerge again. The fight here could last several rounds, with the aboleth intermittently gaining control over the dragon turtle. Any player holding the talisman will realize that it can be used to further cripple the aboleth: if the PC presents the talisman (and passes a Turn Undead check against the aboleth), he can dispel the aboleth’s spell-like abilities and psionics.

At any rate, as the dragon turtle moves and heaves about in the ocean, the heroes will find themselves on an increasingly *unstable platform* on which they must fight; the entire island will intermittently go awash with heaving waves (the players may spot a colossal flipper heaving into view from time to time before slapping angrily back into the waves). At times the entire surface could be submerged: both the players and the aboleth will be caught as the water collapses around them until the “island” surfaces again and the water runs off, swirling the PCs and the aboleth around and completely rearranging the entire battlefield.

The time is at hand for the players to confront their destiny—though the future is not indelibly set. Their destiny is merely to contend with the prime aboleth, as they have once done before (and may, indeed, do again and again until the end of time). They may succeed, in which case they may see the aboleth banished or imprisoned again. Tales that filter back to them may speak of a “concussion” of sorts as this keystone aboleth is destroyed: lesser aboleth disappear in a pile of sludge, mind flayers the world over are mysteriously _stunned_, kuo-toa are left in complete disarray. 

Or the heroes may flee, forced then to fight a growing menace as the aboleth and others of its kin begin to reassert their influence across the world.

Or they may fail utterly, kicking off a new campaign set in a world of aboleth enslavement.

The DMs greatest flexibility is not at the start of this adventure, nor at the seeming conclusion, but in the intervening span during which he weaves the threads and lays the clues of the players’ destiny. The longer and more subtly he can keep the threads growing and building*, the more impressive will be the completed weave when the players can finally step back and see the whole picture.


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

da da bump...


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## Pielorinho (Oct 18, 2003)

*Mythago vs. Wulf Ratbane*
This is something of a difficult round to judge.  Not least because the entries come in so far apart; it's hard to hold them both in my mind with equal freshness.  Also, they're structured very differently, forcing any comparison to be apples-and-oranges:  Mythago's is a straightforward find-the-MacGuffin adventure, whereas Wulf's is almost a meta-adventure, describing mostly a set of plot threads to introduce over a long campaign, to be resolved over the course of a session or two.  Finally, each adventure pulls very heavily on a different source.  Wulf is obviously grooving on the Cthulhu mythos, while Mythago's is straight out of 



Spoiler



China Mieville's The Scar


.  (I put that in a spoiler box because if you don't recognize the ideas in the adventure, it could literally spoil the excellent novel from which it came).

Enough self-pity, and on to the overall themes and stuff:



*Characters:  *Just about absent in each adventure.  Beyond the monsters, who are more entities than personalities, there's only one real NPC to interact with:  Mythago's Elizabai.  We know she's insane, and we know she'll kill herself once the PCs are done with her, but we get nothing else about her personality.  Is she regal?  Constantly terrified?  Does she giggle inappropriately in the middle of conversation?  Does she like to issue gruesome threats as a negotiation tactic?  The DM gets no help on her as a character.  That's still one more character than Wulf's adventure.  On the other hand, Wulf's lack of characters is explicable by the nature of the adventure:  most of it consists of little threads introduced into other adventures (where NPCs will surely exist), and the climactic scene is, in true Lovecraftian fashion, devoid of anything resembling a friendly, human, or recognizeably earthly face.

*Scenes:*  Mythago's adventure has a couple of interesting scenes: the dragon turtle lifting the aboleth up for air, and a pitched fight aboard the floating city of the sea-elves.  The first scene, however, doesn't make any sense to me:  aboleths are clearly water-breathing creatures.  Did you mean the dragon turtle was surfacing for its own air?  I could buy that.  The second scene works, although it doesn't really go anywhere beyond the similar scene in the source material.  Wulf's scene, of a battle on the back of a dragon turtle, is again a classic scene; the element of waves crashing in and rearranging the battlefield, however, elevates it to something novel and interesting.  If I don't use the actual turtle in a game, I could easily see using the mechanic of the waves to make a battle deadly and unpredictable.

*Mood:  *I don't get much in the way of atmosphere from Mythago's adventure.  Swashbuckling, sure, but I don't have nearly a clear enough idea of the culture of the sea-elves to be sure that they'd play like an Errol Flynn movie.  The destiny of the curse doesn't permeate the adventure very strongly; nobody cares about the destiny of an insane pirate-priestess, and the PCs are quite likely never to experience the curse themselves.

Before I go on to specific ingredients, I want to comment on something Wulf did:  he combined the ingredients to a higher degree than I've seen previously.  The dragon turtle and the unstable platform were the same; the magic mouth spoke in a forgotten tongue.  Furthermore, he introduced very few elements beyond the ingredients.  We end up with three discrete Things in the adventure:  the aboleth, the dragon turtle, and the statuette.  I approve of such minimalist adventure design:  while there's no rule against introducing a lot of additional elements into the story (an atoll, sea elves, pirates, etc.), the fewer things you introduce, the more of the adventure's weight the ingredients must carry.  That's what you want.



*Unstable Platform:  *Both authors used this well, and in ways I hadn't thought of.  At the same time, they were both standard fantasy tropes.  By virtue of the ruined city on the back of a monster, however, Wulf's platform became something I've not seen before, and wins the prize.

*Dragon Turtle:  *Mythago's dragon turtle reminded me far more than I would have liked of an avanc (again, you'll either know the reference or you won't).While it fit the role of tugging along a city quite well, the resemblace to a certain bit of source material bothered me, and it didn't really add anything new to the concept.  Wulf's dragon turtle, again, was a twist on a familiar archetype.

*Crippled Aboleth:  *Mythago's crippled aboleth works halfway:  I can easily imagine it wanting to steal the elves for slaves and/or food, and I can also imagine that they might have managed to fight it back.  However, its plan doesn't make any sense.  If it's enslaved the dragon turtle, why would it be trying to kill the beast in an effort to drag down the city above?  Why not simply tell the turtle to dive?  Wulf's aboleth, as one manifestation of an ancient evil, also works halfway.  Why would anyone unlock the aboleth from its tomb?  And what's up with that turn check vs. the aboleth - surely this keystone creature is going to have sufficient HD that a turn check won't work?  The first question can be answered by either PC stupidity or by having the creature already have freed itself; the second question is a mechanical one that can be fixed.

*Magic Mouth, Forgotten Tongue:  *You both used these in almost identical ways, as magic mouths on magic items speaking in forgotten tongues.  Both were integral to the adventure - either as the central MacGuffin for Mythago, or as the central clue-toy for Wulf.  Wulf's use of Cthulhu-speak worked well for me (shameless panderer that he is), as did the intermittent and spooky nature of the magic mouth.  Mythago's, however, seemed a little forced:  why would a cursed item bother to have a magic mouth on it that spoke in a language nobody was likely to understand?  A much spookier effect would have been a deep thrumming from the shell, or ripples forming through the water in which it was immersed, or something like that; I thought the magic mouth was there solely because it was an ingredient, not because it was the best effect.

*Destiny:  *Mythago's destiny was a curse, powerful and simply defined.  Wulf's was a sharply-described DM tool that I can definitely imagine using at some point, the reverse destiny of tricking your players into thinking that all their actions were foretold by ancients.

Overall, I was disappointed by Mythago's entry:  half of it felt to me like it was lifted from the pages of an (admittedly excellent) novel, and the stuff he added onto it felt like he was having trouble getting it to fit.  Furthermore, most of the cool action happened in the backstory, with only a little bit of stuff involving the PCs.  Wulf's story, while not the best I've seen him do, presented a different sort of DM tool, a set of plot-threads to lay on top of several adventures, combined with a way to mimic PC destiny without sacrificing PC free will.



Round goes to Wulf; congratulations!  Mythago, I hope to see you in future tournaments.

Daniel


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## John Q. Mayhem (Oct 18, 2003)

Did you just read the Call of Cthulhu?


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

John Q. Mayhem said:
			
		

> Did you just read the Call of Cthulhu?




You don't have to read it more than once to have it stick with you...

Anyway I've been up to my armpits in tentacled horrors for my upcoming book. 

Wulf


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## mythago (Oct 18, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Anyway I've been up to my armpits in tentacled horrors for my upcoming book.




That must make it hard to get around 
 

You have a book forthcoming?


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## Pielorinho (Oct 18, 2003)

Judgment posted for Mythago vs. Wulf Ratbane.  

We're ready for the second round!  Proceeding onwards, we have:

*Nemmerle*
*Wicht*
*Rune*
*Wulf Ratbane*

Are any of you ready for the next round?  Please post your availability, and we'll get started as soon as we can.

There's going to be a new rule going into the next round, however:  *enough with the effin' curses*.  Some of the ingredients I introduced may have encouraged this, but it seems like about three-quarters of the entries so far have involved some sort of curse or another, used with varying degrees of success.   No more curses!

Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 18, 2003)

Congratulations, Wulf! Now go kick some butt. 

Small notes on my entry: I've never actually read That Author, or That Novel, that was referenced, so honestly, it's coincidence. The aboleth is listed in the MM as an "amphibian" that lives in shallowish waters, so I though making it another sea creature would not fit. Again, these are not arguments why I should have won, just explanations of why I included those.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 18, 2003)

Yikes -- my apologies, then, for suggesting you were borrowing too heavily from that author.  The similarities are pretty strong.

I still think Wulf's entry was the better of the two, but I like your entry a lot more, now, knowing that you didn't steal it from a novel's plot .

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

Kudos to Wulf - I loved it...  But then I am slavishly devoted to all things Cthulhu.

One thing I don't understand from Mythago's.  How did the pirates in the backstory manage to conquer and enslave an ocean dwelling race?  What were aquatic elves doing living on an island?  That minor detail kind of threw me off the rest of the story.  Am I missing something?


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

mythago said:
			
		

> You have a book forthcoming?




He certainly does (look at his sig).  But I am honestly more interested at the moment in the halfling book...  When is it due back from the printers Wulf?


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## Feathercircle (Oct 18, 2003)

Well, Pieloriho picked up on the thing in Mythago's entry that was niggling at me (namely, the turtle lifting the aboleth up for air), so that I didn't need to comment on it after all.  Coincidentally, I did some searching on the internet, and it turns out that aboleths actually CAN breath air indefinitely.  If Mythago had decided that aboleths, like sharks, can only utilize their gills properly when they're in constant motion, then his crippled aboleth could have been forced to rely on its less-used air-breathing capabilities...  the scene is actually a feasible one, if approached from the right angle.  

Ah well, it's easy to second-guess the contestants when you aren't actually playing...   At this point, I really wish I was, though.  When I took a shower yesterday, an idea hit me out of the blue and I found myself writing an adventure in my head using the ingredients!  I'm actually pretty proud of how it turned out- it has plenty of fleshed-out characters, difficult moral decisions, and more illithids than you can shake a stick at..  It turned out a lot better than any of the stuff I've done for my own campaign- maybe I should plotwright in the shower more often!  Unfortunately, by that time, I'd already read Mythago's entry, so even if Wulf hadn't stepped up, I still wouldn't have been eligible...   Anyway, I'm still following this thread with great interest, and I wish Wulf luck in the rounds to come!

PS- Is there a place on this board set aside where people can post adventures they've written?


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> He certainly does (look at his sig).  But I am honestly more interested at the moment in the halfling book...  When is it due back from the printers Wulf?




I have been assured by the printer that the book will (finally) ship to the warehouse this coming Monday Oct. 20th. It should work its way to retail a couple weeks after that. 

I should have my own supply a couple days after that to beginning filling orders made through the Bad Axe website, but I prefer that folks ask after my products at their local gaming store. 

For the tentacled horror goodness of which I spoke before, see the big honkin' GRIM TALES banner in the thread. (FYI-- the banner rotates automatically; you can hit refresh to see all six...)

Regarding my entry, what exposition I had was really put up front of the adventure. I was trying something new and (for me) risky. It was missing most of the things I usually put into my adventures; those same things the judge said he'd be looking for. I feel lucky to have gotten this one through and the judgement leaves me feeling like the lesser of two evils. No offense to mythago intended-- if the judging went as nemmerle suggests it should, _every_ judgement should appear that way.

Hats off to my competitor, and good luck to the others in the final four. Let's make this a Final Four to remember (and see if I can't kick my Round 2 curse...)

Wulf


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> We're ready for the second round!  Proceeding onwards, we have:
> 
> *Nemmerle*
> *Wicht*
> ...




I am ready now. I am travelling on business all day Monday so a deadline of Sunday or Tuesday works for me.



> There's going to be a new rule going into the next round, however:  *enough with the effin' curses*.  Some of the ingredients I introduced may have encouraged this, but it seems like about three-quarters of the entries so far have involved some sort of curse or another, used with varying degrees of success.   No more curses!




Enough with the negative waves, then! If the ingredients are laced with negative conditionals, the authors have to explain them somehow. 

One of my least favorites ever was "Diseased Paladin." The peanut gallery (you know who you are) had the nerve to claim that neither entry had properly used the ingredient. _There's no such damn thing as a diseased paladin!_ Somethings got to give: either he's not a paladin, or it's not a real disease, innit?


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## Dave Turner (Oct 18, 2003)

I must confess that I'm a bit puzzled by the latest judgment, Pie.

You criticize Mythago for (apparently unintentionally) relying on the events and content of a published novel, but you fail to mention Wulf's clear reliance on the archetypal _Call of Cthulhu_ story?  I'm quite familiar with CoC and the similarities are numerous and impossible to overlook, right down to use of an "alien word" from the original Lovecraft story ("fhtagn") to references of the "sleeping (and tentacled) god under the waves" and the PCs visit to a slime-covered location that has risen out of the waves.

I can appreciate that Wulf was under peculiar time constraints and jumped into the competition as an alternate.  I also think that Wulf does incorporate some twists that keep his entry relatively fresh (the "reincarnated heroes" angle, the city being on the back of a dragon turtle).  But then I read something like this:


> I was disappointed by Mythago's entry: half of it felt to me like it was lifted from the pages of an (admittedly excellent) novel, and the stuff he added onto it felt like he was having trouble getting it to fit.



This criticism could just as equally be applied to Wulf's entry.  I understand that judging is a subjective thing and the ruling of a judge is final.  I just detect a bias in criticizing Mythago for "borrowing" while Wulf is subtly praised for it.

With all that said, I know that judging the entries and coming up with explanations for your decisions isn't the easiest thing to do.  I'm simply raising some thoughts that came to mind as I read the judgement.


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## el-remmen (Oct 18, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Judgment posted for Mythago vs. Wulf Ratbane.
> 
> We're ready for the second round!  Proceeding onwards, we have:
> 
> ...




I can't believe this competition!   Usually one ofthe "big names" chokes in the first round and you get an upset making his way to the second.

Yikes!

I sure hope you figure out who goes against who randomly (_please not wicht, please not wicht_ ) - but I likely won't have the time to devote until Wednesday.   But if something changes before then I will post as much.


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## el-remmen (Oct 18, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> One of my least favorites ever was "Diseased Paladin." The peanut gallery (you know who you are) had the nerve to claim that neither entry had properly used the ingredient. _There's no such damn thing as a diseased paladin!_ Somethings got to give: either he's not a paladin, or it's not a real disease, innit?




Survey says. . . . ..  {_buzzer sound_}

Diseased Paladin was the best ingredient I ever used in one my entries, if I do say so myself.   

I am a firm believer that the ruels can be bent and broken for the story as long as they serve the story in a strong way.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> This criticism could just as equally be applied to Wulf's entry.  I understand that judging is a subjective thing and the ruling of a judge is final.  I just detect a bias in criticizing Mythago for "borrowing" while Wulf is subtly praised for it.




That's a fair criticism. But I'll defend it anyway... 

I think the simple combination of Destiny + Aboleth (and again, the nature of my writing at the moment) paired them up for a naturally cthulhuesque feel. 

In addition, as it was an "experiment" in showing the DM how to handle Destiny, I felt that doing so with an gaming cliches would help. It's more than just the word "ftagn," that's actually the whole verse-- I just snipped Cthulhu's name out of it. The city on the back of the "leviathan" is cliche. I tried to make the descriptions of the former heroes cliches as well. The whole point was to make it easy for the DM to see examples and easy for the players to "connect" with the feel of an epic destiny.

I'm not going to put words in Daniel's mouth, and I am definitely NOT saying this is what happened in mythago's case, but there is a big difference between "lifting" a concept as a paean to a classic that all gamers should recognize, and lifting a concept from a source that few will recognize. I don't think there was any danger in my entry that folks would not realize I was deliberately calling on Cthulhu for the underpinnings of the fluff.

Lastly, I will say this: if the entry hadn't had so many sea-themed and Cthulhu themed ingredients (destiny, aboleth, dragon turtle, and forgotten tongue), I still would have pulled my "example adventure" from a different myth that was just as easy for the DM and players to connect to. 

Wulf


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Diseased Paladin was the best ingredient I ever used in one my entries, if I do say so myself.




So was he no longer a paladin, or was it not really a disease? I don't recall your entry 100%-- wasn't your diseased paladin really more _cursed_ than diseased?



> I am a firm believer that the ruels can be bent and broken for the story as long as they serve the story in a strong way.




No, you misunderstood me. I completely agree with you, there. But I don't think the judge (and the peanut gallery) can fault the authors for having to do contortions with ingredients like that.

And, I think I'm trying to say, you can explain an awful lot with "an ancient curse." That's a major DM crutch, the ol' ancient curse. It's a wild card; by definition, curses often supercede the rules and the DM is under no obligation to explain them. 

[EDIT] Which, I guess, is an excellent reason for our current judge to ban them from further entries. Perhaps someday when I judge, a curse is an automatic forfeiture. 

Wulf


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

If Wulf is ready to go now, I can wiggle room into my day to do the contest.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> If Wulf is ready to go now, I can wiggle room into my day to do the contest.




We know for certain from his prior posts that Rune won't be checking in today, right? So nemm may be out of luck.

I'll defer to nemm if he needs to get his round out of the way this weekend, but then I will need a Tuesday deadline.

That said, I suppose I am ready.


Wulf


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## el-remmen (Oct 18, 2003)

Go ahead, Today, tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday are all bad for me. . .

As for the diseased paladin, she was an NPC who had fallen from favor from her god for emphasizing the justice side of her role over the compassionate side (not helping the sick and weak) - so she contracted a disease.  I guess you could see that as a "curse" - but I thought of it more along the lines of a paladin having lost favor and trying to get it back and the PCs ended up inadvertantly in the way of that happening.


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## mythago (Oct 18, 2003)

Wicht--it was an atoll, rather than an island. I pictured a shallowish lagoon in the middle, sort of a giant gated sea-elf community. As to how they were conquered, well, you know...pirates.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 18, 2003)

*Dave*, believe me, I thought about exactly what you're saying.  I know that my first reaction was hostility toward what I (erroneously) thought was borderline plagiarism on Mythago's part, whereas I had no visceral reaction at all to Wulf's lifting of tropes.

My best guess as to why this is true is that, as Wulf stated, he was playing with one of the most common tropes in gamer lore, whereas Mythago's looked similar to a relatively obscure work.  Wulf's wholesale appropriation of the "ftagn" line made it clear he wasn't trying to hide what he was doing.  And there were enough cool and unique extras in his adventure -- the reverse destiny sleight-of-hand, the waves crashing over the battlefield, the little fetish-doll speaking bits of gibberish at odd times -- that even without the difference between the source material's availability, I liked his entry more.

*Nem*, there's usually an upset, and when I read Mythago's first entry, I was almost sure *Cool Hand Luke* would be progressing to the next round.  When he didn't show up, and I offered *Mythago* the chance for a bye, I was kind of hoping he'd take it; when *Wulf* offered to fill in as an alternate and *Mythago* agreed, I winced.

*Wulf*, no dice on the lack of negative modifiers.  If a contestant can't think of any reason for a mirror to be cracked, a tooth to be broken, a spirit of oppression to enter the air than a curse, then they'll deserve to lose their next round.  It wasn't a rule before, so it wasn't a problem; but curses are now officially overplayed in this tournament.

And I loved the diseased paladin.  So there!
Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 18, 2003)

Okay, who is it?  Wicht vs. Nem or Wicht vs. Wulf?  First person to back out goes later in the week, vs. Rune.

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

I think Nemm already backed down, leaving me and Wulf

Do you need numbers? (19, 11,  8 just in case)


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## Pielorinho (Oct 18, 2003)

No need for numbers this time: I'll choose ingredients from here on out.

*Wulf Ratbane vs. Wicht*
*Ingredients:*
*Oubliette*
*Vampiric Bard*
*Chaos Beast*
*Falling Stars*
*Olfactory Clue*
*Hysteria*

Remember, 24 hours, no editing, and no curses. Good luck!
Daniel

edited based on Wicht's request


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 18, 2003)

Curses!


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

Play nice Judge!!!


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## mythago (Oct 18, 2003)

Eh, I'd rather be beaten by a worthy opponent than win by default, so it's all good.


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

LOL

I didn't mean you had to change the ingredients. It would have been just as tricky a contest for Wulf (I hope so anyway).  

I just meant it was dirty pool and my first reaction to it was jaw dropping panic!   But if you want to go with the first list of ingredients, I'll still play.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 18, 2003)

Nah, it was totally dirty pool, just me funnin'.  I had an idea for making the contest tougher, but I'll only implement it for the finals.

Daniel


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## Burne (Oct 18, 2003)

Since this member of the peanut gallery missed the original Ingredients, could one of the three of you nice folks explain? Wicht? Daniel?

Thank you.


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

Burne said:
			
		

> Since this member of the peanut gallery missed the original Ingredients, could one of the three of you nice folks explain? Wicht? Daniel?
> 
> Thank you.



The honorable judge had placed the word "Cursed" in front of each of the ingredients.


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## Berandor (Oct 18, 2003)

As someone who has neither read Cthulhu nor that other book mythago was supposedly stealing from...

I absolutely agree with the judgement. Mythago's entry sounded more like a story than an adventure, and while it was a cool story, I was sorry for the PCs, coming in after alll the interesting stuff had happened.

Wulf, on the other hand, gave the means to tie several adventures together into a campaign. Perhaps not really an adventure, as well, but much better suited to incorporating the PCs. What I would have liked, however, would have been a better description of the city and the shifting battlefield (for example, why the aboleth wouldn't be spilled overboard when the waves flooded the area).

That said, Wulf also incorporated the ingredients in a very convincing manner. After the rather mediocre showing of mythago, I had no doubts in Wulf's victory. Two more of these and I might even buy his books 

And now...
*On with the show!*

Berandor
looking forward to matching his wits with the illustrous contestants next spring


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 18, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> And there were enough cool and unique extras in his adventure -- the reverse destiny sleight-of-hand, the waves crashing over the battlefield, the little fetish-doll speaking bits of gibberish at odd times -- that even without the difference between the source material's availability, I liked his entry more.




Come on! How about the mind flayer that _extracts his own friggin brain!_

That was MY favorite part. That happens to _my_ PC, frustrating or not, I gotta give the squid his props.

I shouldn't have taken that nap this afternoon without looking at the ingredients first... definitely should have slept on 'em... Now all I got for inspiration is beer...

Wulf


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## Wicht (Oct 18, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Come on! How about the mind flayer that _extracts his own friggin brain!_




That was certainly one of the highlights of your entry to me.


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## Wicht (Oct 19, 2003)

This idea is just begging for expansion with dungeon maps, more prophecies, and a host of vampire NPCs.  Unfortunately time and space dictate it remains as is for this venue. 

*Iron DM:  Wicht vs. the Bane of Rats*
*Ingredients:*
*Oubliette* _The prison for a mighty half-fiend vampire sorcerer, Slarcyx Hellsmaw.  His evil was legendary and his prison was supposed to be eternal.  Long has he cursed within his oubliette but now he is about to be freed._
*Vampiric Bard* _Kiel Trafican, steeped in dark lore, this fallen bard knows exactly where the stars are about to fall and what it means.  Many have cursed his name but still his evil goes unchecked._
*Chaos Beast* _Trapped for eons within a heavenly prison, these accursed monstrosities are about to land, bringing chaos in their wake._
*Falling Stars* _The result of a heavenly collision, three pieces of an ancient prison are about to come crashing to earth.  Its not exactly a divine curse but many will think the end has come when the final star falls._
*Olfactory Clue* _The smell of death will lead the PCs to their first clue, the coffin of a vampire.  The smell of sulfur will lead the PCs to their final confrontation with Kiel Trafican._
*Hysteria* _When the third star falls, the good people of Slar’s Gate who are still alive will be in hysteria as they trample each other (and possibly the PCs) trying to get out of town.  _


*Until the Stars shall fall…*

_When the heavens collide,
The stars shall fall 
And darkness will cover the land.
The dead shall rise,
The dark one calls,
And blood will flow like sand._ *– verse from the Song of Blood*

Until the stars shall fall is an adventure for PCs of approximately 12th level.  It involves a small amount of detective work, some dungeon delving, lots of vampires, an ancient prophecy and frequent opportunities for Bards to check concerning their knowledge of ancient lore.

*Summary*  An ancient half-fiend vampire sorcerer, Slarcyx Hellsmaw, lies buried beneath the city of Slar’s Gate in a long forgotten Oubliette.  Another vampire, a bard steeped in dark and erudite lore, has put together several pieces of ancient prophecy and correctly believes the time for Slarcyx to be freed is at hand.  Three falling stars[/b] are going to strike the earth.  The first of these missiles will strike near the ancient home of Slarcyx.  The second will strike over the secret location of the hidden key to Slarcyx’s prison.  The third will strike in the city of Slar’s Gate, bringing death and hysteria.  It will also open the way to the door to the ancient prison.  Kiel Trafican, the vampire bard, hopes to use the key to free Slarcyx and unleash a time of great evil on the world.
	The PCs enter the adventure when they encounter a vampire in a country inn who recites a fragment of ancient prophecy to them before being killed.  His clue points them towards the first falling star, which struck the earth the night before.  The pieces of rock falling through the atmosphere are pieces of an ancient prison.  Chaos beasts in stasis in Mithral prisons are freed and begin to roam near where the rocks fell.  At the site of the first falling star, the PCs meet both the chaos beasts and Kiel, who taunts them but has no interest in fighting them.  PCs, lured either by Kiel’s taunts or by the promise of great wealth in the forms of pure mithral, can follow the trail to the second falling star.  Here, above an ancient dungeon, more chaos beasts now roam.  Kiel is underneath, with vampire spawn henchmen seeking the key.  Whether Kiel or the PCs get the key is irrelevant.  Either way Kiel will head to Slar’s Gate where the third falling star will fall.

*Background:  * Many years ago, an evil vampire terrorized the known world.  Finally a band of adventurers buried him in an inescapable oubliette and built a fortress atop it.  They named their fortress Slarcyx’s Gate.  Through the years the vampire was forgotten and the City that grew up in place of the ruined fortrees was named Slar’s Gate, though only ancient loremasters remembered why.  
	At the time of his imprisonment, a prophecy was intoned stating that Slarcyx Hellsmaw would not be freed until the stars would fall.  And thus divine plans were set in motion.  
	Fast forward to today.  High above the world, in the cold heavens, an ancient prison for beasts of chaos has collided with another heavenly body, causing the prison to fragment.  Three pieces, guided by dark providence, are about to crash to earth, each one landing three days apart.  
	Though mankind has largely forgotten the evil of Slarcyx, there are some who still remember.  One who has pieced together ancient prophecies and is therefore fairly informed about Slarcyx and his prison is a vampire bard by the name of Kiel Trafican.  He knows that the first falling star will land somewhere near the sight of Slarcyx’s ancient home, now mere ruins.  He knows the second will show him the exact site where the ancients hid the key to Slarcyx’s prison.  He also knows that the third will land in the city of Slar’s Gate, opening a passage to the door of the ancient vampire’s prison.  
	Even now Kiel waits in the hills near Slarcyx’ ancient home, waiting for the first star to fall.

*PC Introduction:*  The PCs enter into this drama when they arrive at an inn in which they are already known.  A pair of mysterious guests have aroused the suspicions of the innkeeper and with good reasons.  The Innkeeper smells something strange coming from the coach of these guests who are now asleep (during the day) in a room upstairs.  The two guests are actually the servant of a vampire who is sleeping in the bottom of the coach and whose bug infested coffin dirt is the source of the  Olfactory Clue.  PCs who investigate and subsequently confront the vampire (who is a low-level vampire and easy prey for the PCs), likely during the day, the vampire will quote the following line of prophecy hysterically before dying:
_ When the heavens collide,
The stars shall fall 
And darkness will cover the land._
Bards may be able to know that this is a section of an ancient prophecy concerning the resurection of a forgotten vampire.  The clue within the verse, “Stars shall fall,” will prompt the innkeeper to mention that a star did fall the night before, landing in the nearby hills.  PCs who wish to investigate will easily find the site of the first fallen star.  PCs who fail to investigate may be still drawn into the adventure if they witness the fall of the second star and seek to investigate.

*The First Falling Star* 
Four chaos beasts roam the hilly region around the site of the first fallen star together.  These creatures will attack anyone they see.  In addition to these dangers PCs who investigate immediately after confronting the first vampire will arrive there after dark and will encounter Kiel and several of his vampire spawns at the site.  If they arrive on subsequent nights they will encounter other vampires who have followed in Kiel’s wake.  If the PCs miss Kiel then they can glean some of the same info from these vampires.  PCs who arrive during the day will miss the vampire’s clues but may still see the second star fall and thus investigate.
	If the PCs encounter Kiel, he will not personally attack them, but if engaged in conversation, he will arrogantly inform them of their impending doom and will tell them to watch the night skies for a sign of where the key to their doom lies.  He will at some point fly away, leaving his spawn to attack the PCs.  
	In addition to the chaos beasts (tracks of which clearly come from the impact spot), PCs who investigate the broken fragments of rock at the site will find 7000 gp worth of pure Mithral just lying around on the ground in chunks.  

*The Second Falling Star*
The second falling star is clearly visible if the PCs keep an eye out for it.  If they don’t anyone the PCs meet can tell them of its rumor.  PCs who have not met Kiel will likely be driven by the prospect of more Mithral into investigating.  This rock has struck near an ancient dungeon, inhabited by many fell beasts.  Just as dangerous, outside the dungeon are more chaos beasts.  There are also tracks indicating that a party of humanoids entered the dungeon the night before.  There is once more, Mithral lying around on the ground around the crater in chunks.  

Kiel and some more of his spawn are in the dungeon (the tracks were theirs) when the PCs arrive, assuming they arrive within a day of the star falling.  Kiel will find the key two nights after the impact if not stopped.  If the PCs thwart him and beat him to the key, he will tell them that they have wonand that the key unlocks vast riches, riches to be found in the nearby city of  Slar’s Gate.  Again, Kiel will not fight the PCs, hoping to instead lure them to Slar’s Gate where he can deal with them at his leisure.  If Kiel gets the key and the PCs still confront him, he will again brag before setting his vampire spawn once more on them.  He will tell them that destruction awaits them at Spar’s Gate and then once more use his powers to flee.

Within this dungeon are various clues about Slarcyx, including wall writings that mention the smell of sulphur as it is associated with the ancient vampire (turns out he reeks of the stuff).  Bards should find plenty within these dark halls to jog memories of forgotten prophecies and vampire lore.

*The Third Falling Star*
The third falling star crashes into the middle of Spar’s Gate, making a huge crater and creating mass hysteria.  The eight chaos beasts now roaming the streets of the city do not help matters.  PCs who arrive within 24 hours of the impact will meet a mob of people fleeing the city, mass looting and burning within the city.  Over the city, smoke and dust have created a thick cloud casting the whole city into darkness.  The vampires who have come with Kiel to free Slarcyx Hellsmaw can move freely and are feasting on people as they move towards the crater.

The Oubliette lies at the end of a series of catacombs, the opening of which has been revealed at the bottom of the crater.  PCs with the key will be lured by Kiel down into the catacombs where he tries to trick them (or just allow them) to open the door that will free Slarcyx.  Alternately vampire rogues will try and steal the key and vampires in general might try and kill the PCs for the key. If Kiel has the key, the PCs should arrive in time to see Kiel hold it aloft and descend down to free Slarcyx.  In this case vampires will fight to slow the PCs from following Kiel.  As the PCs follow the right trail in the catacombs, the smell of sulphur will grow stronger and stronger.  The area around the actual door of the prison fairly reeks with the stuff.

*Conclusion:*  The Crater in Slar’s Gate is dripping with chunks of Mithral.  If the PCs stop Kiel and Slarcyx remains imprisoned then they may find the rewards to be great (unless looters beat them to the stuff). If Kiel survives the PCs he can return to be a thorn in their side or else try other schemes to release the ancient evil buried beneath Slar’s Gate.  

If the PCs fail, this is a great adventure with which to herald a new reign of evil in the DMs world.  Slarcyx will arise in unholy anger and begin to slaughter and dominate all he meets.  Hopefully the PCs can survive an initial encounter with him so they can try and stop him later.


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## Wicht (Oct 19, 2003)

Aargh!.  Mistyped and broken tags!  As soon as the Judge posts judgment, I will fix it.


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## Fanog (Oct 19, 2003)

I wanted to comment on Wulf's story. Just a minor question, overal I really liked the idea, great work.
What's to stop the PC's from using _comprehend Language_? This seems to conflict with the adventure's premise that there is no one left alive who can decipher the strange language. 

Also, was I the only one thinking there would probably be an _actual_ tongue (as in the thing sitting in your mouth) in one of the adventures? From reading the ingredient, I immediately saw a group of grave robbers or something who were supposed to take some body parts from something/someone, and had forgotten to take the tongue as well. Ah well... 

Great competition, I'm looking forward to round 2. Good luck to all competitors.

Fanog


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## humble minion (Oct 19, 2003)

I was thinking a bit along the same lines. Fanog.  In my frustrated state of alternate-dom I've been scribbling 'what I would have done' type notes for each set of ingredients, and in this group I was immediately struck by the obvious link between the Forgotten Tongue and the Magic Mouth.  I'm still surprised that nobody submitted some kind of orally-themed adventure...


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## Berandor (Oct 19, 2003)

I don't want to comment too much already, so I'll leave it at a comment regarding the prophecy, which is minor dressing after all:

"...blood will flow like sand."
I get that it rhymes, and all, but: How exactly does sand flow?

That's nothing that should interfere with the judgement too much, I guess, because it's minor dressing written under severe time constraints. Also, maybe I just don't get it after alll 

Berandor
anxiously awaiting Wulf's entry


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 19, 2003)

humble minion said:
			
		

> in this group I was immediately struck by the obvious link between the Forgotten Tongue and the Magic Mouth...



I was linking the forgotten tongue with the crippled Aboleth. I'd certainly consider myself a cripple if I didn't have a tongue.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 19, 2003)

Note: I'll say in advance, I've tried not to specifically call out each and every use of the ingredients, every clue, nor every possible twist of the plot. I'd rather this entry leave a few "Ah hahs!" for the readers than spoil it by making everything too obvious, even if it costs me the round.


*BRIGHT LIGHTS CAST THE DARKEST SHADOWS
A d20 Modern “Shadow Chasers” Adventure*

*Ingredients:*
*Vampiric Bard:*_Our initial hook, our “villain,” a modern day bard who’s been young and pretty just a little too long_
*Falling Stars: *_ the on-stage collapse of many young stars leads the PCs to some deductions_
*Olfactory Clue: *_one of many clues that lead the players deeper into the adventure_
*Oubliette: *_ circumstantial evidence is good enough for most PCs, but the law will be most interested in this solid piece of evidence_
*Chaos Beast: *_ the true nature of our villain_
*Hysteria: *_ A nervous affection, occurring almost exclusively in women, in which the emotional and reflex excitability is exaggerated, and the will power correspondingly diminished, so that the patient loses control over the emotions and often falls into paroxism or fits. _

*BACKGROUND
Hollywood, mid to late 1920’s*

“I think we finally have one!” announces your supervisor at Department 7. “You’re familiar with the files on Greta von Carstein? That’s right, beautiful immigrant, reclusive star of stage and silent movies—and suspected vampire. It’s all anecdotal of course; probably just Hollywood rumors sprung from petty jealousy. Lots of starlets out there think she’s been just a little too young and pretty for just a little too long. It’s a shame we don’t have any photographic evidence to back up any of the gossip.

Well, we’re going to need you out in Hollywood. A young singer there, Dora Danvers—yes, I can see you’ve heard of her, too, quite a beauty—has, as she puts it, irrefutable proof. I know, I know, it’s tough chasing shadows all the time; so little turns up positive. But I have a feeling about this one. I spoke with her on the phone, the poor girl was nearly out of her mind with fear. She wouldn’t give me any specifics unless I promised to send a team out to protect her. Head out to Hollywood, see what you can find out. And keep a close eye on her.”

NOTE: If the players are not part of Department 7, but are naturally inquisitive, they may already be aware of the suspicions surrounding Greta. In recent weeks the Hollywood columns of the paper have been hinting at a growing feud between Dora Danvers and Greta von Carstein. Inquisitive players may take it upon themselves to schedule an interview with Dora or Greta. The Scenes below can be shuffled around to suit the order that the players tackle them.

*CHARACTERS*
Dora Danvers: A beautiful young blonde singer with aspirations of film stardom. Her career has recently been taking off, bringing her to the world’s attention. Some of this attention is unwanted. 

Greta von Carstein: A slightly older, slightly less beautiful actress of stage and (more recently) silent film. In her day, she was the most talented and popular actress in Hollywood, but in recent years it seems folks have had enough of her. Now, she mostly finds work in horror movies, most likely because of her dark and mysterious teutonic beauty.

Adele Dubois, Bette Brown, Clara Sturrow, etc.: A bevy of beautiful and talented young women running the gamut of talent and physical description: actresses, singers, movie stars, dancers, redheads, brunettes, waifs and bombshells. Occasionally referred to below at (starlet A), (starlet B), etc.

Stan “The Fan” Zigler: Really more a stalker than a reporter, Stan has nevertheless managed to parlay his enthusiasm into a job as a Hollywood reporter. He’s the prototype paparazzi, always around when the PCs need him, and if they ask the right questions, Stan is sure to have the answer to set them on the right track.

*SCENE ONE
Dora’s Finest Performance*

The PCs arrive in Hollywood just hours before Dora is scheduled for a night-club performance. Tracking her down in advance of the show is impossible; those close to Dora seem to have no idea where she is—she generally keeps to herself in preparation for a show—but they assure the PCs that she’ll find time to speak with them immediately following the show. The PCs are given tickets to the show.

Dora’s performance that night belies none of the nervous tension the players might expect. Indeed, she turns in her finest performance ever. (“Betta’ than Greta!” shouts Stan from a nearby table. “What a headline!”)

As Dora stands to accept the waves of adulation from the crowd, she smiles, perfectly at ease (or so a Sense Motive check would indicate). Her smile turns to a grin, and suddenly the stage begins to pile up with roses thrown from the crowd. Her grin cracks into a toothy smile, her smile turns to a giggle, the giggle to a laugh, and in moments, as the roses continue to litter the stage, Dora is laughing uncontrollably and suddenly collapses twitching and screaming on the stage in a full-blown fit of *hysteria*.

Several stagehands and a burly bodyguard rush from the wings, throw a robe over Dora, and hustle her off the stage.

The PCs may hear an off-hand comment from Stan. “Here we go again...” If pressed for commentary, Stan will say, “Another *star falls* to the stage after her performance? Same damn thing happened last week. I think these starlets are trying to outdo each other.” Stan can’t recall the actress who pulled the same stunt; he wasn’t at that show.

*SCENE TWO
Dora’s Dressing Room*
The PCs may seek out Dora at her dressing room. They’ll be confronted by a huge bodyguard outside her door. “Dora’s sleepin’,” he’ll advise. “Blow.”

Diplomacy or (more unlikely) Intimidate may loosen the bodyguard’s lips just a bit. He’s just checked in on her not 2 minutes ago—she’s fine. As he’s speaking, however, the PCs hear a loud crash from inside the dressing room.

Rushing in, the bodyguard and the PCs can quickly sum up the situation:
a) there’s on overpowering smell of perfume in the air—a shattered bottle of pricey French perfume has fallen to the floor and shattered (the perfume is called _Etoile_ if anyone cares to Search or Spot)

b) there’s a pile of movie scripts strewn across the floor, as if dropped while someone was running (Investigation or Tracking)

c) on the table above the perfume, there is a single key on a featureless metal key fob. (The PCs may or may not take this key; it will not change the unfolding of later scenes.)

d) No Dora! She’s gone—and pulled a disappearing act worthy of Harry Houdini himself. There’s only one door in or out of the dressing room. There’s a small window, open slightly to let in the cool night air (Spot); there’s a heating vent in the floor (Search).

*SCENE THREE
Investigative Research*

The players have a few clues in their hands now.

Scripts: First, the scripts. Hollywood scripts are always marked CONFIDENTIAL and usually each and every page is marked to indicate to whom it is issued. These scripts are no exception. One script (for _The Next Big Thing_) belongs to Dora Danvers, but other scripts are assigned to Adele Dubois, Bette Brown, Clara Sturrow, etc. PCs with the proper Knowledge (or a Wisdom check) should realize that these scripts probably shouldn’t all be in the same place, and definitely not out of the hands of their owners.

Actresses: The PCs may follow this lead to speak to these other actresses. Sometimes, it seems scheduling an appointment with these ladies is impossible; the PCs will have to grease the right palms but eventually these ladies might find time for a quick conversation. They’ll be effusively happy if the PCs return the scripts to them (I didn’t even know it was gone! What was that bitch doing with my script!) Otherwise, once the PCs finally track each of these ladies down, they chat amiably, although as briefly as possible.

The interviews with these starlets may drop a couple more clues, if the PCs ask the right questions or Spot the right things:

One or more of the starlets also fell on stage recently.

All of the starlets wear _Etoile_ perfume (an *olfactory clue!*).

On any visit _after_ Scene Two, the PCs may notice that one starlet has a receipt sitting on her desk for Jolly’s Locksmiths. (She may try to subtly cover the receipt with her script as it is returned... but Sleight of Hand is not her forte and she may be Spotted...)

Finally, the PCs may try to make some connection between all of these starlets. It will require either some Research, or perhaps seeking out Stan. Eventually, they’ll discover that at one time or another, each of these starlets has done work with Greta von Carstein (in some cases, years ago). Digging a little deeper (a more difficult DC) they’ll find that _since_ doing work with Greta von Carstein, they’ve never been spotted _with_ Greta von Carstein, or each other. Stan may be of some help here; he keeps a close eye on social events, and although he won’t think to offer up this info, he may realize, “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. That’s odd...” and confirm it for the players.

The only exception is Dora; she’s never done any work with Greta before; they seem to hate each other, growing worse since Dora’s fame has been increasing, and really coming to a head when Dora beat out Greta for the starring role in _The Next Big Thing_. This isn’t common knowledge, but poking around to Gather Information may turn it up. (None of the starlets above would offer this information... “I prefer to stay out of the politics around here...”)

*SCENE FOUR:
Greta’s Guests*
At some point, the PCs will probably want to visit Greta to ask her a few questions. Like the other starlets, it’s hard to track Greta down to arrange an interview—her “horror movie” schedule generally requires her to sleep during the day, it seems, so she’s only available briefly at night, usually just after sundown or just before sunrise.

She will definitely have a couple of (particularly hirsute) bodyguards pat the PCs down before any interview. They’ll turn up any guns, stakes, or mirrors the PCs are carrying, though you may allow them to sneak by with smaller items (see below).

During this interview—assuming the PCs don’t go vigilante and throw down on circumstantial evidence—the PCs may learn a few things.

If the PCs visit Greta at least a day _after_ Scene Two, they’ll see that her trash can contains the packaging for a bottle of _Etoile_ perfume; the brand new bottle sits on her dressing table.

It’s an odd dressing table—no mirror. No mirrors, in fact, anywhere in sight. Greta explains, in her thick Bavarian accent, “It’s part of my mystique, you see. Why quell the silly rumors?” “Makeup? You think a star as famous as me does her own makeup?” etc.

If the PCs get bold, shoving a cross or garlic into her face, or dousing her with holy water, etc., Greta will recoil in horror, baring her teeth—then, after a moment, begin chuckling. It is an amazingly convincing vampire moment, but, apparently, no more than that.

If push comes to shove, Greta has a genuine weakness for mirrors, but it’s fairly mundane. She simply can’t stand the sight of herself. “Stop that! I’m hideous! I was beautiful once... so old...” etc. She still looks beautiful by any standards but her own—she’s got a pretty bad case of body dismorphic disorder (and there’s a damn good reason for that, as the PCs will eventually realize...)

God forbid, if the PCs go vigilante on Greta in this scene, they’ll slaughter her (and her bodyguards, too, who will rush to help). She’ll be dead as a doornail—regular dead, like, not even remotely a vampire dead—when the police show up (just in time) to catch the PCs redhanded. The adventure _may_ be over—see below.

*SCENE FIVE
The Old Factory*

If the PCs are going to get any hard evidence on Greta, it will be following the locksmith’s clue to the old factory. 

It’s easy enough to track down Jolly’s Locksmith, though he’s not particularly forthcoming until some money crosses his palm. He won’t recall doing any work for (starlet A) though, yeah, maybe he did do some work recently for a famous star. More money crosses hands, and he’ll rat out (starlet B). Hard to forget a meeting like that: you gotta wonder what possible kind of emergency a beautiful star could have in the middle of the night at that rusty old factory outside of town. She asked him to change the locks and give him a new key; she definitely _did not_ want a duplicate key made. He made one anyway—perhaps the PCs would like to make him an offer for it? That sale made, perhaps they’d like to know _where_ the factory is located? There’s a lot of old factories outside Tinseltown, ya know. That’ll cost em, too...

The PCs can unlock a huge sliding door that opens into the factory. Inside they’ll find lots of broken machinery. Lots of rats, too. But probably the most striking feature is the huge tank that dominates the center of the room.

Catwalks lead up to the top of the rusty tank, which is sealed with a pressure-cap. The wheel-lock on the pressure cap is, strangely, not rusted tight—players may Spot this from a distance and certainly when they turn the wheel. It turns with ease. 

The wheel creaks as the pressure-cap is unlocked. A horrible smell starts to waft from the opening before the cap is even opened—the unmistakable smell of death. Throwing aside the cap, the players can peer down into this makeshift *oubliette*. There are bodies inside—several. One for each of the starlets. The PCs would have to lower themselves down to do a forensic search, but all of them have broken bones, no doubt sustained as each of these *stars fell* into the tank.

Most recently dead is poor Dora Danvers. Her neck is broken, twisted nearly all the way around. She’s the only corpse that seems to have been killed in such a capricious way. The other bodies are in various states of decay, though it’s clear that the oldest of them has been dead for years, at least.

This, despite the fact that the PCs have talked to these starlets within the last couple of days.

NOW the PCs are probably ready to dispense some vigilante justice.

*SCENE SIX
The Horrible Truth*

The PCs will have to rush to confront Greta. She’s growing suspicious, so she’ll soon check on the oubliette at the old factory to make sure all is well. If the PCs delay even a day, Greta will cut her losses and move on (for a while...)

The truth of the matter is this: Greta von Carstein has been infected by the touch of a *Chaos Beast*. While most folks would simply dissolve into a puddle of goo, such was Greta’s charisma and force of personality that she’s actually been able to control it and hold herself together for years. She has not, at least yet, become a full-fledged chaos beast herself. (Perhaps, even, she has benefitted from additional charisma or shapeshifting powers—but more on that in a moment...)

Greta’s weakness is an insatiable need for praise and adulation; it is like a salve to her ego and a terribly low self esteem that goes deep into her psyche. Like a doppleganger, she has used her shifting ability to assume the identity of other stars, adding to her repertoire any star who was deemed more talented or more beautiful. Like the true bards of old, she is multitalented; she’s really very, very good at acting, singing, dancing, you name it. But inexplicably, though her talents are indisputable and her beauty essentially eternal thanks to her shapeshifting ability, her fame has waned. Fickle generations have moved on, but Greta will not go quietly. Feeling her fame slipping away, indeed, has made Greta more and more hysterical each time she receives the adulation she craves.

Usually very calm and precise, Dora was something of an accident. The two argued and Greta lost control; for the briefest moment, perhaps, Dora caught a glimpse of Greta’s true nature. So... she had to go. In retrospect, with Department 7 now poking around, that was a miscalculation. But Greta is confident in her ability to deflect any suspicion.

She may even choose, in this final confrontation, to let the PCs “kill” her. She’s done her share of death scenes in her time, and can alter her metabolism to the point where it is indistinguishable from death. Depending on how the PCs have played their cards up to this point, it’s completely up to the DM whether to leave them feeling they’ve killed a beautiful woman, or to give them the satisfaction of a big fight against a full-fledged chaos beast:

The PCs will have a hard time tracking Greta down, but she is scheduled to sing at a night-club and there’s no way she’s going to miss that; it is her weakness; she is compelled. Either by confronting Greta, or waiting until the inevitable accolades at the end of the show, Greta is finally going to lose it. Her body shifts and morphs, thorns, fangs, and claws sprout at random, and she tears first into her unfortunate jazz trio and then into the audience. Mass hysteria ensues, and the heroes of Department 7 are there in time to save the day.

*SCENE SEVEN:
Finale?*
The DM may throw one final twist at the players, which may lead them to a greater evil:

Was Greta, in fact, a vampire? Or, perhaps, on her way to becoming one?

A package recently delivered to her dressing room may hold a further clue. It is a beautiful bouquet of tulips, along with a package wrapped in brown paper and tied with strings. There is a note with the card:

“It was good to see you again the other night. Found this in my desk after all these years—thought you might like to have it back. Pardon the tulips, but you know I can’t abide roses. Love, Max.”

Inside the package, marked CONFIDENTIAL on each page with Greta’s name, is the script for _NOSFERATU_.


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## Dave Turner (Oct 19, 2003)

Wulf writes:


> I think the simple combination of Destiny + Aboleth (and again, the nature of my writing at the moment) paired them up for a naturally cthulhuesque feel.
> 
> In addition, as it was an "experiment" in showing the DM how to handle Destiny, I felt that doing so with an gaming cliches would help. It's more than just the word "ftagn," that's actually the whole verse-- I just snipped Cthulhu's name out of it. The city on the back of the "leviathan" is cliche. I tried to make the descriptions of the former heroes cliches as well. The whole point was to make it easy for the DM to see examples and easy for the players to "connect" with the feel of an epic destiny.
> 
> I'm not going to put words in Daniel's mouth, and I am definitely NOT saying this is what happened in mythago's case, but there is a big difference between "lifting" a concept as a paean to a classic that all gamers should recognize, and lifting a concept from a source that few will recognize. I don't think there was any danger in my entry that folks would not realize I was deliberately calling on Cthulhu for the underpinnings of the fluff.



I guess that I take "cthulhuesque" to mean something a little less direct that what you had.  

I appreciate what you tried to do with your entry.  You were outside the box and that's where Iron DM entries try to be.  I do wonder why you decided to rely so heavily on cliche, though?  Your broad meta-concept was already innovative enough within the context of the tournament: present a long-term adventure framework rather than an immediate adventure set in the short-term.  Saying that you wanted to make things easy for the DM by relying on cliches sounds a bit odd to me.  If someone published an adventure based on your idea, I don't think people would be lauding it for its reliance on cliche?  While the concept of the adventure is a good one, it's certainly not such a mind-bender that cliche is needed so that readers can figure out what's going on?  Maybe that's just my own facility with the concept you described, however.

I wonder why you chose to describe your own instance of lifting with quotation marks and didn't do the same with mythago?  Both of you apparently did the same thing.  If mythago is to be believed, he did it unconsciously.  Using quotation marks the way you did is usually meant to signify that the word isn't being used in its regular sense.  If mythago did what he did unintentionally, then shouldn't his "lifting" be in quotes, since using the word in that way suggests an intentional use of the material?  Regardless of whether the source material is well-known or obscure, you both did the same thing in a sense.  It raises a red-flag in my eyes when you describe your version as a "paean to a classic" while mythago is somehow doing something reprehensible.

Even if mythago did, in fact, use the novel as template for his entry, you did exactly the same thing for yours.  Trying to highlight and differentiate between what are ultimately cosmetic differences between both "paeans" seems a bit disingenuous.  

Having said all that, I don't want you to get the impression that I'm somehow down on you or your entry.  Speaking from experience, I know the time pressure involved in the tournament.  Overall, I do believe that your use of ingredients, _once the matter of both entries relying heavily on other material is balanced and disregarded_, was better than mythago's.  My initial point was the seeming penalizing of mythago for his reliance on outside material which didn't seem to apply to your entry as well.

Which brings me to Pie's response:


> Dave, believe me, I thought about exactly what you're saying. I know that my first reaction was hostility toward what I (erroneously) thought was borderline plagiarism on Mythago's part, whereas I had no visceral reaction at all to Wulf's lifting of tropes.
> 
> My best guess as to why this is true is that, as Wulf stated, he was playing with one of the most common tropes in gamer lore, whereas Mythago's looked similar to a relatively obscure work. Wulf's wholesale appropriation of the "ftagn" line made it clear he wasn't trying to hide what he was doing. And there were enough cool and unique extras in his adventure -- the reverse destiny sleight-of-hand, the waves crashing over the battlefield, the little fetish-doll speaking bits of gibberish at odd times -- that even without the difference between the source material's availability, I liked his entry more.



I would suggest that your bias might have crept in here, which is somewhat inevitable in a tournament such as this with a single judge.  I imagine that you were more comfortable with the Cthulhu similarities because of your comfort with the source material.  I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I wonder if you would have reacted with calm if the Cthulhu story wasn't so well-known?  What if, like the other novel, the Cthulhu thing was as relativley obscure?  Would your reaction had been the same?

This is impossible to answer in a way, but it highlights the problem that I see.  After all, we often criticize movies for being "a rip-off of X", where X is some extremely well-known movie (like: "Equilibirium is a total Matrix rip-off.").  In this case, Wulf's adventure simply referenced a very well-known story, while Mythago's didn't.  Does that mean that Wulf should somehow avoid the same criticism that Mythago does?  I don't think that just because you reference something well-loved that you are insulated from charges of "making a paean".  

In the end, maybe this could inform any further judging by Pie?


----------



## Berandor (Oct 19, 2003)

Wulf, I don't know if it was intenional, but I loved how you incorporated the key as an "Old-Factory Clue" 

Berandor


----------



## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 19, 2003)

Dave Turner said:
			
		

> I do wonder why you decided to rely so heavily on cliche, though? Maybe that's just my own facility with the concept you described, however.




I am sure your facility is precisely the reason.

I don't expect anyone to publish adventures based on Iron DM entries-- rather, Iron DM entries should serve as _instructions_ on how to create adventures. Sure, the best entries could be lifted, printed, and played, but that's not the point, as far as I am concerned.

A cliche the easiest way to get the DM and the players (and the judge) to connect with the theme. They have to "get it" immediately. Using a cliche lets me know that I can choose not to describe a lot of the tiny details, and have no worries that the entry is going to fly over the head of the reader.



> I wonder why you chose to describe your own instance of lifting with quotation marks and didn't do the same with mythago?




Because I don't like denoting the same word with quotes, twice? Feel free to reverse the order of presentation, put quotes around mythago's "lift," and no quotes around mine. 



> It raises a red-flag in my eyes when you describe your version as a "paean to a classic" while mythago is somehow doing something reprehensible.




No one is suggesting that mythago did anything reprehensible. So far, you are the only person who has said that.

As to your point, the presentation as "paean" really only works if the author can be confident that the reader is so familiar with the source material that it could not possibly be construed as anything but. It is safe to say that the cthulhu mythos is widely accessible to the readers of ENworld. There were no fears on my part that anyone would read it and think that I was attempting to pass it off as my own.



> Trying to highlight and differentiate between what are ultimately cosmetic differences between both "paeans" seems a bit disingenuous.




No, the difference is clear. Trying to paint the difference as cosmetic is disingenuous. There's a big difference between a CLEAR reference to an existing source and an OBSCURE reference to an existing source. 



> I wonder if you would have reacted with calm if the Cthulhu story wasn't so well-known?  What if, like the other novel, the Cthulhu thing was as relativley obscure?  Would your reaction had been the same?




I hope not, for the reasons I have outlined above. 

At any rate, it's a purely hypothetical and ultimately pointless line of inquiry. As I said in my previous reply, had I not been pushed towards the Cthulhu mythos, I would have used an equally accessible myth. There was no incentive for me to use an obscure reference; the point was to make the reader connect immediately.



> In this case, Wulf's adventure simply referenced a very well-known story, while Mythago's didn't.  Does that mean that Wulf should somehow avoid the same criticism that Mythago does?




Hypothetically speaking? It sure does.


Wulf


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 19, 2003)

Berandor said:
			
		

> Wulf, I don't know if it was intenional, but I loved how you incorporated the key as an "Old-Factory Clue"




 

I'll sell you some books, yet.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 19, 2003)

Place holder post for Wicht vs. Wulf.
Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 19, 2003)

Berandor said:
			
		

> "...blood will flow like sand."
> I get that it rhymes, and all, but: How exactly does sand flow?



Sand flows Quite well (hourglass?).
But the real reference is to the sheer numbers of grains of sand in the world.  Sand is a common symbol of numerical exuberance.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 19, 2003)

A quick note:  I don't want to go further into the discussion of my different responses to Mythago's vs. Wulf's posts.  Since Mythago hasn't read the novel I thought his adventure was based on, my concerns were unfounded, and I owe him my apologies for suggesting otherwise.  (I am interested, however, whether other folks familiar with that novel had the same thought -- Nem?)

Judging is, ultimately, arbitrary, and I give a lot of credit to my gut when it comes to reading these stories and figuring out which one will win.  For example, I already am pretty sure how I'll judge the current round, although I still have the difficult job of analyzing my reactions to the two entries and posting detailed feedback on them.  If you, *Dave*, would treat borrowing from a canonical source the same as borrowing from a relatively obscure source, then that's how you can run your tournament; for me, I treat them differently.  (Contestants should not rely on that, however -- remember that I dinged *Wicht* for his reference to The Wizard of Oz.  I'm capricious like that).

And that's my last word on that subject.
Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 19, 2003)

No apology necessary. As for discussion of my entry, please take it entirely in the spirit of "mythago explains what the heck was going through her head when she wrote that"--it's absolutely not meant to be any reflection on your judging. FWIW, I agree that Wulf's entry was better than mine.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 19, 2003)

HER adventure!  Sorry again, mythago, for the gender confusion.  I do appreciate your discussion of your entry.

Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

Due to very little sleep and an action-filled day of packing and figuring out downpayments for buying a house, I'm not going to be able to post a coherent judgment tonight.  I'll try to post it after my cat's veterinary appointment tomorrow morning.

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 20, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Due to very little sleep and an action-filled day of packing and figuring out downpayments for buying a house, I'm not going to be able to post a coherent judgment tonight.




NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Wulf


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## Wicht (Oct 20, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Due to very little sleep and an action-filled day of packing and figuring out downpayments for buying a house, I'm not going to be able to post a coherent judgment tonight.  I'll try to post it after my cat's veterinary appointment tomorrow morning.
> 
> Daniel




B...Bu...Bu...Bu...but who won????


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## Wicht (Oct 20, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
> 
> Wulf




I take it you have been checking in all afternoon as well.  

By the by, excellent adventure.  But then I am a sucker for that sort of story.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

If it makes you feel better, Wulf, you're all winners just for entering the tournament.

That should hold you over until tomorrow, when one of you becomes a loser anyway.

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 20, 2003)

Here's hoping for a judgement within the next hour, before I leave on my business trip.

Otherwise it will be TOMORROW AGAIN before I know! Aaaarrrrggghhh!


Wulf


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## Wicht (Oct 20, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Here's hoping for a judgement within the next hour, before I leave on my business trip.
> 
> Otherwise it will be TOMORROW AGAIN before I know! Aaaarrrrggghhh!
> 
> ...



I feel for you.  Especially since he mentioned that Vets appointment for his cat taking precedence.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 20, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> I feel for you.  Especially since he mentioned that Vets appointment for his cat taking precedence.




He did say morning, though...

By the way, Wicht, I have the worst case of deja vu. 

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

(I’m going to make this quick, so Wulf can see the judgment this morning)



This round was not easy to judge, for different reasons than previous rounds.  One contestant excelled in one area of the contest, while the other contestant’s strength was in the other area.  Ultimately, I had to decide what I value most in an entry; had I weighed it differently, I would’ve judged differently.



Some overall comments:



Open Seas:  neither of you railroaded PCs into a particular plotline.



Characters:  There were four major characters between the two entries; three of them were your basic boilerplate characters, while the fourth was underdeveloped.  Wulf’s Greta is a fairly standard femme fatale; Stan Zigler is everyone’s favorite annoying reporter.  The fiendish vampire has little to recommend him over any other Ancient Dark Lord Who Will Rise Again to Terrify The Populace.  Only Trafican (whom I inexplicably pictured with a bad toupee and running for congress from prison) was a deviation from central casting – and I had a little trouble understanding his motives.  What exactly did he hope to gain from bring Slarcyx back?  Greta and Stan, however, were tremendously fun PCs, and while they’re standard for their genre, they’re unusual for roleplaying games.



Mood:  Wicht created a decent mood, of impending doom and prophecy, through his adventure.  Wulf’s LA Confidential meets the Thing, however, was fantastic, at turns funny and terrifying – and terrifying through simple things like hysterical laughter.



Scenes:  Wicht’s scenes – the falling stars, the taunting in the ruins of the old city, the attacks by chaos beasts amidst the fragmented prison – worked well for me, but ended up feeling like they didn’t break any new ground.  Wulf’s scenes were unusual and grotesque, and appealed to me a lot more.



Overall, Wulf was a lot stronger on characters, mood, and scene.  On specific ingredients, however, we’ll see something else:



Oubliette: This was Wulf’s worst ingredient. A factory where you dump bodies is a far cry from an actual oubliette, which should be a dungeon, not a grave.  It was far enough from the ingredient that I considered disqualification.  However, structurally it looked the same, and by stretching oubliette to mean a place where you put people so they’ll be forgotten (regardless of whether they’re alive), I can allow it.  Wicht’s oubliette, OTOH, was pretty cool.

Vampiric Bard:  Wulf’s strongest ingredient, despite no vampiric bard appearing in the adventure:  it’s a good red herring.  Wicht’s bard didn’t really need to be a bard; a loremaster would’ve made more sense to me.

Chaos Beast:  Neither of you used it spectacularly well.  Wicht’s chaos beasts do indeed seem like extraworldly creatures, but they could’ve just as easily been any sort of demon or aberration.  Wulf’s chaos beast never appeared in the adventure at all; however, its influence was strongly felt, and suggested a cool game mechanic (of allowing a character who survives the chaos beast’s disease to gain both limited shapeshifting and insanity).

Falling Stars:  Used well by both.  I wondered if someone would find a way to make falling stars refer to celebrities; Wulf did that and had the ingredient do double-duty as the perfume jar.  Wicht’s falling stars serve to divide the adventure into discrete scenes and to lend a sense of urgency to the adventure, both good uses.

Olfactory clue:  Interesting that rotten bodies served as an olfactory clue in each.  Again, Wulf’s OF did double-duty (triple with the old-factory clue – cute!), and the perfume as a clue was a much subtler use, the kind of thing a player feels all smart for picking up on.

Hysteria:  Wicht’s mass hysteria was a stronger use:  mobs are always fun to deal with.  Greta’s hysteria more confused me than added to the adventure, I thought:  although it makes sense on a third reading, it ultimately felt a little forced to me.



In the end, I though Wicht’s adventure was the more solid of the two:  the adventure flowed more smoothly, and events held together better, and I think he used the ingredients, on balance, better than Wulf.  Wulf’s adventure was a little ragged around the edges for me, and used two ingredients in ways I wasn’t very happy with.  However, it took more risks, both in terms of setting (not so important a risk) and feel (a lot bigger a risk); its scenes and characters and mood were superior.



Which is more important to me:  polish and ingredient use, or evocative story pieces?  This is arbitrary on my part.  Since I’m the arbiter, that’s okay.  As a DM, cool elements in a slightly messy adventure is more useful to me than a solid adventure that doesn’t break that much new ground.



It’s a very tough call, but this round goes to Wulf.  Congratulations, and Wicht, I wish yours had been up against a weaker entry so that the decision could’ve been easier.  Both were very strong.

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 20, 2003)

Good Job Wulf and congragulations.  As I already stated once, I really liked your adventure – I think it would be excellent for a CoC adventure as well as a d20 modern.

Best of luck in the finals.


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## el-remmen (Oct 20, 2003)

Whew!  

As long as there is no chance for me to face Wicht. . . I am happy.  I mean, as long as I can defeat Rune - I can count on Wulf's rotten luck to win me the tournament.  

Also, seeing all these "well-known" names in this tournament has made me decide that even though it violates our guideline about how close these competitions should be to each other - that I will run a "holiday IRON DM" in December - but my ruling will be no one who has taken part in a IRON DM more than once can apply and I am going to take total newbies over those who have played before in the application process.


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## Macbeth (Oct 20, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Whew!
> 
> As long as there is no chance for me to face Wicht. . . I am happy.  I mean, as long as I can defeat Rune - I can count on Wulf's rotten luck to win me the tournament.
> 
> Also, seeing all these "well-known" names in this tournament has made me decide that even though it violates our guideline about how close these competitions should be to each other - that I will run a "holiday IRON DM" in December - but my ruling will be no one who has taken part in a IRON DM more than once can apply and I am going to take total newbies over those who have played before in the application process.



So since this was my first Iron DM, I could enter again for the Holiday Iron DM? (Assuming there aren't too many newbies) Great! I'll be looking out for it.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

I think that's a fine idea, Nem.  Writing entries definitely gets easier with experience, and gives a real advantage to folks who've gone through a couple tournaments previously.

Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 20, 2003)

Wow. Tough call. 

nemmerle, I think that would be a fine idea.


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## Rune (Oct 20, 2003)

Excellent entries!  Congrats to Wulf for finally beating that pesky Wicht!   

I'm good to against Nemm today, but failing that, it'll have to be thursday.

Or a week from today.

Now...a note on "borrowing" from literary sources.  Frankly, I have never seen any reason to get so defensive about it.  Incognito started it all by disqualifying someone who did an alegory of an alegory.  A pity, I thought.  It was rather innovative.  I've always believed that, short of _actual_ plagiarism, there's nothing wrong with drawing on previous works.  Let's face it.  ALL literature, in all of its forms, is built on the backs of previous literature.

Additionally, it's a risk to draw too heavily upon previous works, anyway.  If the contestant doesn't do it well (which generally means subtly, and not too heavily), it's  guaranteed to be a poor entry.

One final tangent.

On the matter of the "diseased paladin."  _I_ would have played around with the definition of "diseased," probably settling on some sort of corruption of the mind or soul, something that would lead to fallen paladin-status if left unchecked.  Or somesuch.

In short, I was looking for an innovative way around the paradox and was, for whatever reason, a bit unsatisfied with the way both entries handled it.  It was a tough ingredient, and intended to be.  Since both contestants were similarly handicapped, I do not regret my decision to include it.


----------



## Rune (Oct 20, 2003)

One more thing...Nemm.

Is that Holiday IRON DM going to be outside of the cycle, or is the champion of this tournament going to be in that one?

If the champion of that one is outside of the cycle, what do we do with him/her when the next tournament comes around?  Would that champion _and_ the champion of this tournament get automatic entries into Iron DM Spring?


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## mythago (Oct 20, 2003)

Rune said:
			
		

> Now...a note on "borrowing" from literary sources.  Frankly, I have never seen any reason to get so defensive about it.  Incognito started it all by disqualifying someone who did an alegory of an alegory.  A pity, I thought.  It was rather innovative.  I've always believed that, short of _actual_ plagiarism, there's nothing wrong with drawing on previous works.  Let's face it.  ALL literature, in all of its forms, is built on the backs of previous literature.




Well, to a point. There's retakes on classic works, there's the fact that there are only [n] plots anyway, and there are new twists on old tales, but you don't want to cross that line between inspiration and copying. (And speaking as a writer, it's darn embarassing to realize that your clever original idea was done verbatim by somebody else.   )

I don't think there's a thing wrong with paradoxical ingredients that can be gotten around with a little cleverness. Maybe it's just the lawyer in me saying "Define 'disease'," but to me that's different than asking for a chaotic evil paladin.


----------



## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

I agree with Mythago on this.  An obvious homage is fine by me IF it adds something to the original -- I dinged Wicht's field of poppies because it didn't go much at all beyond the Wizard of Oz poppies, whereas Wulf's Cthulhu references added a couple cool things onto the Cthulhu mythos.

And I recommend reading the novel referenced above in spoilertext -- it's fantastically good.

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 20, 2003)

Rune said:
			
		

> One more thing...Nemm.
> 
> Is that Holiday IRON DM going to be outside of the cycle, or is the champion of this tournament going to be in that one?
> 
> If the champion of that one is outside of the cycle, what do we do with him/her when the next tournament comes around?  Would that champion _and_ the champion of this tournament get automatic entries into Iron DM Spring?




I have been thinking for a while that instead of defending his title, the previous champion should become the judge of the next tournament.


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## el-remmen (Oct 20, 2003)

Rune said:
			
		

> One more thing...Nemm.
> 
> Is that Holiday IRON DM going to be outside of the cycle, or is the champion of this tournament going to be in that one?
> 
> If the champion of that one is outside of the cycle, what do we do with him/her when the next tournament comes around?  Would that champion _and_ the champion of this tournament get automatic entries into Iron DM Spring?




Since I plan to win this one - it won't matter. 

But seriously, I will let the next judge handle it how they feel best fits the situation - and that judge might even be - so really what I am saying is "I'll think about it."  - Personally, I am all for giving some new folks a chance - so maybe the winner of this one (which will likely be me  - is that joke getting old yet?) can just sit out or take his chances getting a "regular slot" - allowing the winner of the "newbie tournament" get the guaranteed seat.


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## el-remmen (Oct 20, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> I have been thinking for a while that instead of defending his title, the previous champion should become the judge of the next tournament.




I've considered this, but I think it is a bad idea for two reasons:

1) Not everyone who wins has the time or inclination to judge - which does take a lot of effort, and 

2) I would rather keep the field of judges smaller rather than larger.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

Nem and Rune, when do you want to go?  Or rather, when this week are you *willing* to go?  We'll set your matchup for the first 24 hours this week that both of you can manage.

Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 20, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Nem and Rune, when do you want to go?  Or rather, when this week are you *willing* to go?  We'll set your matchup for the first 24 hours this week that both of you can manage.
> 
> Daniel




I can go today, or I could go thursday.  And that's it for this week.


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## el-remmen (Oct 20, 2003)

I might be willing to say I go today if the starting time is sometime around 4 pm EST (b/c of work stuff) - though I would prefer Wednesday - bu definitely would rather lose than have to wait for Thursday

So. . . if 4pm EST is okay with you guys - then I can go today. . . I'll work on it I wait my turn to play at an open mic tonight


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## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

4 pm EDT it is, then.
Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 20, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> I might be willing to say I go today if the starting time is sometime around 4 pm EST (b/c of work stuff) - though I would prefer Wednesday - bu definitely would rather lose than have to wait for Thursday
> 
> So. . . if 4pm EST is okay with you guys - then I can go today. . . I'll work on it I wait my turn to play at an open mic tonight




4pm EST (or even later) is just fine for me.  If I'm not around to check in, don't worry.  I'll get the ingredients.  Just consider me _checked in_ anyway.


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## Fanog (Oct 20, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> ...I will run a "holiday IRON DM" in December - but my ruling will be no one who has taken part in a IRON DM more than once can apply and I am going to take total newbies over those who have played before in the application process.




Woohoo! I'm _so_ going to be there. From following this competition, I remember feeling the same when reading the last one. Now, I definately want to try for myself. 

Fanog


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## Berandor (Oct 20, 2003)

Methinks I'll have to ditch the idea of holiday travels... or check whether I can get online in the Netherlands 

Holiday Iron DM (HI-DM), here I come!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 20, 2003)

Posting a little early, since I have to run down to the animal shelter to straighten out a fubared grant report. You guys will have until 4 pm EDT tomorrow to get your entry in.

*Nemmerle vs. Rune*
*Ingredients*
*Mountain Cabin*
*Frost Worm*
*Lothario*
*Spiral Staircase*
*Heat lightning*
*Heresy*

24 hours, no editing, no curses, good luck!
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 20, 2003)

Thank you, Daniel.

The ideas are already flowing.


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## spacemonkey (Oct 20, 2003)

> Also, seeing all these "well-known" names in this tournament has made me decide that even though it violates our guideline about how close these competitions should be to each other - that I will run a "holiday IRON DM" in December - but my ruling will be no one who has taken part in a IRON DM more than once can apply and I am going to take total newbies over those who have played before in the application process.




Sounds great!  I was really bummed when I found out that I had missed the call... again.  Count me in, I just hope I see the announcement this time around


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## humble minion (Oct 21, 2003)

Yeah, the holiday Iron DM sounds great - if I wasn't going to be away from the computer and backpacking round North America at the time...  *sighs*  I'm cursed - cursed, I tell you!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

humble minion said:
			
		

> Yeah, the holiday Iron DM sounds great - if I wasn't going to be away from the computer and backpacking round North America at the time... *sighs* I'm cursed - cursed, I tell you!



Just so I'm clear:  you're complaining because, instead of staring at a computer screen over your holiday, you're going to be out in the North American Wilderness backpacking around?

My heart bleeds.
Daniel


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## humble minion (Oct 21, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Just so I'm clear:  you're complaining because, instead of staring at a computer screen over your holiday, you're going to be out in the North American Wilderness backpacking around?
> 
> My heart bleeds.
> Daniel




Well, do you seem me cancelling my plane tickets?  No?  I didn't think so...


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## Wicht (Oct 21, 2003)

You are going to be backpacking North America in December? 

I'd rather be in front of a computer in my warm house. 
I'd rather backpack in the heat anyday than in the cold.


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## humble minion (Oct 21, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> You are going to be backpacking North America in December?
> 
> I'd rather be in front of a computer in my warm house.
> I'd rather backpack in the heat anyday than in the cold.




Well, I'd prefer that as well - I'm your prototypical Australian - the hotter it is, the happier I am.  But the young lady who I'm travelling and staying with in the States wants me to be over there for Thanksgiving (and the Return of the King premiere).  So I'm just doing what I'm told...


----------



## Berandor (Oct 21, 2003)

O.K., I have to ask: What the heck is a lothario? Is that just a personal name, or what?

Berandor


----------



## humble minion (Oct 21, 2003)

Berandor said:
			
		

> O.K., I have to ask: What the heck is a lothario? Is that just a personal name, or what?
> 
> Berandor




A rake, lady's man, a Casanova-type.  Smoove B.


----------



## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 21, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Oubliette: This was Wulf's worst ingredient. A factory where you dump bodies is a far cry from an actual oubliette, which should be a dungeon, not a grave.  It was far enough from the ingredient that I considered disqualification.
> 
> Hysteria:  Wicht's mass hysteria was a stronger use:  mobs are always fun to deal with.  Greta's hysteria more confused me than added to the adventure, I thought:  although it makes sense on a third reading, it ultimately felt a little forced to me.




It seems silly to quibble with a judgement that went in my favor-- and I do agree the oubliette was my weakest ingredient-- but I don't think it rose to the level of disqualification!

*oubliette*
_A dungeon with an opening only at the top, found in some old castles and other strongholds, into which persons condemned to perpetual imprisonment, or to perish secretly, were thrust, or lured to fall._

I suppose I should have been clearer that the previous gals were "thrust, or lured to fall" into the oubliette "to perish secretly," making it more than just a hiding place for bodies, but rather a languishing place for her victims. However,  in both form and function, the oubliette was as precise as the setting (1920's) allowed it to be. Unless the judge has some definition of oubliette of which I am unaware, I don't think the fact that it is not a bricks-and-mortar, slime on the walls "dungeon" is grounds for disqualification. Contrary to the judge's position, the purpose of an oubliette is precisely "a place where you put people so they'll be forgotten." The oubliette is not meant to be a merely holding cell; it is a death-sentence, meant to be a one-way trip. I should have been more clear in my indications that only Dora was dead when she made her fall into the oubliette. There was a greater chance for horror, here, if it was clear some of the victims had tried to claw their way out (or dined on the dead...)

As for hysteria, which also seems to have given the judge some trouble, I used the original meaning of the term, not the current colloquial definition of it (referenced in my entry only as "mass hysteria.") I thought that it was clear from the definition I clipped (which was precisely the reason I clipped it verbatim) that hysteria, with "the will power correspondingly diminished" and "paroxysms or fits" was a fine indication of what happens to someone who fails their Charisma check from the touch of the Chaos Beast.

All in all, I am happy to have won. I think my entry holds together very well with a clever (ok, "cute?") multi-layered use of ingredients that I personally think is among my best.

Mostly I am happy to have gotten past my Round Two curse! I also felt Wicht's entry didn't break any new ground, which is unusual-- and why I am sitting here feeling like he took it easy on me out of pity. I will do my best with the chance you've afforded me!

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

*Wulf*, I wasn't clear from your entry that the other victims were alive when they entered the oubliette.  That does raise the question of *why* they were left alive, but it makes it a genuine oubliette.  This would've benefited from clarification (I was wondering why the note existed about Dora's being a mistake; now I know).

And I got how you were using hysteria, but something about Greta's hysterical attacks just didn't quite ring true to me.  I'm not sure why -- it just came across as her "playing to the camera," if you see what I'm saying, the NPC turning to the PCs and saying, "Here's a clue, fellas!"

Some ways to correct that, to make her hysteria seem more seamless:
* Give Greta a recent (since infection) history of mental illness.
* Have bodyguards discussing her erratic behavior.
* Rumors about her trip years ago to Eastern Europe and how she returned...changed...from the trip (works both to increase the red herring and to give players a clue, on following up, where the chaos beast is located).

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 21, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Mostly I am happy to have gotten past my Round Two curse! I also felt Wicht's entry didn't break any new ground, which is unusual-- and why I am sitting here feeling like he took it easy on me out of pity. I will do my best with the chance you've afforded me!




Took it easy on You!!!

You are talented enough that you don’t need my pity 

Truth be told, I never try to break new ground or do anything that original, I just take the ingredients, see what events, people or places they suggest to me and then run with it.  I do think however that the final stage in my adventure was quite provocative and full of potential for role-playing.  A City in which a comet has just crashed, spreading chaos and bringing darkness.  DMed right it would be a campaign centerpiece.  It is granted, not completely original, catastrophes of such a nature have been movie fodder for years.  But it does not normally, IMO happen in most DnD games.

On the other hand, you have been immersed in Cthulhuesque stories for a while and I have always found for some reason that Lovecraft and company always gets me at my most horrifically creative and your entries have both been excellent so I will surmise that you too have the same thing happen…


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

*Wicht*, your adventure DID have some good scenes for roleplaying in it, and I could see playing through it and having fun.  This was a case where you lost not because of a weakness in your adventure, but because of a strength in Wulf's.

I'm enjoying the entries in this tournament more uniformly than I've enjoyed the entries in any other.  It makes judging tough, but these would be some easy adventures to steal from.

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 21, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> And I got how you were using hysteria, but something about Greta's hysterical attacks just didn't quite ring true to me.  I'm not sure why -- it just came across as her "playing to the camera," if you see what I'm saying, the NPC turning to the PCs and saying, "Here's a clue, fellas!"




Fair enough. 

If I had more time, and if I didn't feel it would ultimately have diluted the entry, I would have played more to what was going on in the back of my mind: that Greta was both Chaos Beast _and_ undergoing a change to Vampire. Her initial hysterical reaction is to the roses thrown at her (a rarely used weakness of vampires). 

I backed off of this (leaving in only two references to roses) and chickened out: her psychological state has just been bubbling along for a while now, and only recent events with Dora (possibly finding out her secret, stealing another role away from her, the interference of Dept. 7) has really given rise to hysteria and her loss of control.

I leave it up to the DM to slowly transition from "hysteria, loss of willpower, paroxysms" to "That's not a facial tic-- SHE'S A FRIGGIN CHAOS BEAST!" In my mind, they were naturally linked, in terms of "scene."

The hysteria clue was also pretty much the deciding factor that my villain (and all of her victims) would be female. It played a much greater part in my thinking, apparently, than I was able to communicate.

Thank goodness for mood! That must have been a subconscious "read" of the judge. 

Wulf


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## Wicht (Oct 21, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> *Wicht*, your adventure DID have some good scenes for roleplaying in it, and I could see playing through it and having fun.  This was a case where you lost not because of a weakness in your adventure, but because of a strength in Wulf's.




I am not upset about losing.  I thought Wulf’s adventure was superior to mine when I first read it.  I am just aghast that he would think I took it easy on him


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 21, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> Truth be told, I never try to break new ground or do anything that original…




Dryad, ship's mast... was that not you?

Of course, it was a curse, so it would only get you tossed out of the tournament these days.

Wulf


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## Wicht (Oct 21, 2003)

I just meant I do not purposely sit down and think, "what would be original?"  Often, two ingredients put together make a perfectly logical but unique idea, - ie. dryad in a shipmast.  When I see something like that of course I use it.  But most often I think much as I do when planning my own home adventures, not "What is original," but "What makes a good story?"


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> Dryad, ship's mast... was that not you?
> 
> Of course, it was a curse, so it would only get you tossed out of the tournament these days.
> 
> Wulf




Sorry, but the Dryad in the ship's mast was an idea from the original 1st Ed Book of Lairs from the mid-80's - and I remember when I judged that while I did not take away any "points" for idea (he might have never seen that product) - he certainly did not gain any points for originality.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news, my upcoming entry is long. . . . But I hope it is just as good as it is long. . . kind of like my. . .  uh, cadillac.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

Ahh -- I'd never heard that roses were a weakness of vampires.  I actually asked my wife if she understood the tulips reference at the end of your story, since she'd seen that flick about the Making of Nosferatu (I've seen the original but not the fictionalized account of Schreck as an actual vampire).  Both of us were confused by it, but figured it had some significance.

Now we know.
Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 21, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> In other news, my upcoming entry is long. . . . But I hope it is just as good as it is long. . .




I am hoping you lose.

Cause then, I can lose to Rune, completing my Loser's Trifecta.


Wulf


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## Rune (Oct 21, 2003)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> I am hoping you lose.
> 
> Cause then, I can lose to Rune, completing my Loser's Trifecta.
> 
> ...




You know it's gotta be some special sort of tournament when _Wulf_ is the underdog.  (Though I'm not really saying he _is_ the underdog...)

As soon as I saw the Round 2 line-up, I thought, [Golly], I really wish I was judging this tournament!


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Rune said:
			
		

> As soon as I saw the Round 2 line-up, I thought, [Golly], I really wish I was judging this tournament!




Don't worry Runey, soon much like the judge you will be on the side-lines.


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Oh and can the loser of this match play Wicht for third place?


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## Rune (Oct 21, 2003)

*Rune vs. the CHAMPEEN BULLYWUG BASTARD...*

*Ingredients*
*Mountain Cabin (Lothario's safe haven/den of villainy.)
Frost Worm (The foundation of Chastity, part of Lothario's plan, and also, a little bit of mockery.)
Lothario (A ladies' man.  Also a heretic.)
Spiral Staircase (A bad trip down to inevitable destruction.)
Heat Lightning (Divinity.  Or not.)
Heresy (The betrayal of faith on the part of, well, that depends on who you listen to.)*

_This adventure is presented from two opposing viewpoints, each with different expectations of the PCs.  However, there should be plenty of opportunities--and possibly incentive--for the PCs to change sides during the course of the adventure.  Should this happen, the motivations of both sides should be sufficiently detailed that the DM need not fear an abrupt shift of viewpoints.

This scenario assumes the existence of a (presumably) Lawful Neutral god, WRTH.  One or both sides may depart from his will without knowing it during the course of the adventure, or they may not.  This is most problematic with Lothario, who has become Chaotic Neutral.  It is entirely left to the DM to determine how characters (possibly) offending their god would still be granted spells.  Perhaps the character(s) are granted powers by some deceptive dark power, or perhaps the god is actually Neutral in alignment--or has somehow shifted to it.  Or, perhaps, neither of the parties actually had divine power in the first place.

This scenario also assumes a slight variation from the standard frost worm, but only in flavor.  The assumption being that, first, the frost worm has a skeletal structure and, second, that the skeletal structure does not turn to ice when the worm enters its death throes.  The resulting explosion consists of both ice and bone, but is mechanically identical.  Finally, this scenario assumes that frost worms, for whatever reason, have found a way and a reason to thrive in the frozen mountainous region that this adventure takes place in, whereas normally, they would be limited to plains.

This adventure is designed to be a moderate challenge to a party of four characters, roughly level 10.  Any business that places the PCs within the frozen mountains is sufficient for presenting this adventure to the players.  If the PCs are a mostly lawful lot, it is suggested that they encounter the city of Chastity first.  If, on the other hand, they are primarily a chaotic group, it is suggested that they encounter Lothario’s cabin first._

*Spiraling Downward*

*The First Step...Lothario*

In the frozen mountaintops, a majestic city rests upon the bones of the largest frost worm the world has ever known.  The Theocracy of the Chaste, which rules this city, is particularly proud of its heritage.  As they tell it, the warrior Logos stood between his god, WRTH, and the colossal frost worm and slew the worm at the behest of his god and so was charged with building the theocracy.  WRTH was, is, and ever shall be Master of Law, Order, Justice, and Chastity.  So it was that the City of Chastity prospered peacefully and orderly until its very foundation was undermined by heresy...

In the frozen mountaintops, very near the tyrannical Theocracy of the Chaste, Lothario made his home.  Lothario, once a slave to dogma, now a Champion of Freedom, hides in exile and works tirelessly toward the subversion of the oppressive regime.  What matter that he is more lover than figher?  Women need to be freed of the Tyranny of the Chaste as much as any man...

*The Second Step...Heat Lightning*

In the frozen mountaintops, it is clear that their god is angry.  A phenomenon unexplainable through natural means rings the mountain peaks.  The lowlands surrounding the mountains are unnaturally hot and strange flashes of light dance, almost continually, on the horizon.  If the denizens of Chastity knew what it was, they would call it “heat lightning.”  Instead, they call it “divine wrath” and they know that they must honor the prime tenet of their faith--justice.  They must apprehend the heretic, Lothario.  They will be more than happy to hire wandering adventurers, at almost any price, to help them eradicate the threat to their very structure...

In the frozen mountaintops, it is clear that their god is pleased.  A ring of lights flashes around the mountainous horizon almost continually.  Lothario’s army grows daily.  Every day, Lothario is able to lure away more of Chastity’s youth.  Indeed, it is clear that WRTH wants nothing less than the cleansing of his religion.  To this end, Lothario would be delighted to hire skilled adventurers to aid hi, particularly since his army is yet small, undisciplined, and chaotic...

*The Third Step...Heresy*

In the frozen mountaintops, a cleric has betrayed his faith.  Should PCs who find themselves in Chastity need any convincing of Lothario’s villainy, they need only speak with the scores of women seduced and abandoned to a hollow life outside the rigidly defined social castes of the city.  In anyone this would be reprehensible behavior.  In the clergy, sworn to oaths of chastity, it is heresy.  Indeed, to break with the holy teachings and claim that the Theocracy does not pursue justice, as Lothario has done, is unforgivable heresy.  The sooner Lothario is found and dealt with, the better.  Unfortunately, interrogation of the city’s youths has proved futile, and no one _seems_ to know where Lothario is hiding...

In the frozen mountaintops, a theocracy has betrayed its people.  Should PCs who find themselves in Lothario’s stronghold need any convincing of the Theocracy’s tyranny, they need only speak with the scores of young men and women who have fled the chains of oppression.  Clearly, a governing body that does not have the best interests of its citizens (and what could be more crucial than freedom?) at heart is not just.  Since justice is a prime tenet of the faith, it can only be concluded that the Theocracy has long since betrayed its faith and served itself through heresy, rather than its god.  It is Lothario’s divine duty to liberate his brethren.  Alas, he is no fighter.  However, he has a plan to shift the odds in his favor...

*The Fourth Step...Frost Worm*

In the frozen mountaintops, cold death hunts.  Lothario is well aware of the location of a frost worm’s lair in the surrounding area and intends to lure the army of Chastity strait into it.  He will, when the time is right--and that time is fast approaching (for surely the flashes in the sky portend victory!)--take a few of his most able warriors or adventurers with him to the gates of Chastity.  If the PCs have agreed to aid him, he will certainly hope to bring them along--they will certainly be far more seasoned than any others.  Hopefully (predictably, Lothario insists) the Theocracy will send out a massive portion of its army in pursuit.  Straight into the jaws of the frost worm.  Once the army has been destroyed, inciting rebellion should be no difficult task within the city...

In the frozen mountaintops, justice would be served.  The last place anyone in the Theocracy expects for Lothario to show up is at their own gates, but there he stands.  If the PCs have been recruited to help apprehend the outlaw, all they need to do is chase him down.  They will have practically an entire army at their backs.  If the PCs are successful in catching up to Lothario, he will attempt to persuade them that his cause is right, but more importantly, he will insist that the PCs find (with him, of course) a place to hide, for the frost worm will be quick in coming.  The army is quick in interpreting this encounter as proof (if they needed more) that Lothario is in league with the Enemies of WRTH.  The pursuing army consists of several hundred adequately trained warriors and at least half of them should survive the attack (Lothario is no supreme tactician and severely underestimated the abilities of the worm).  If the PCs fight the worm, a great deal more will probably survive.  At any rate, Lothario will do everything in his power to escape, caring far more for speed than for covering his tracks and the survivors should have no trouble tracking him to his cabin...

*The Fifth Step...Mountain Cabin*

In the frozen mountaintops, a safe haven sits comfortably among the stark peaks.  It is a cabin, cozy and inviting.  It harbors, however, a secret.  Deep in the mountain, underneath the cabin, Lothario has carved out (with the aid of recruited artisans) a stronghold.  The chamber is capable of housing hundreds of people and it is here that Lothario builds his army.  The chamber is accessible through a secret panel in the cabin wall and down a long, spiral staircase.  Lothario, ever a lover of the dramatic, could not resist the irony of fashioning the staircase from the bones of a collection frost worms, and so it is constructed.  With an army not nearly as diminished as he had hoped in pursuit of him, Lothario will head for his cabin--and his secret stronghold, with all possible haste.  If the PCs are courageous and foolhardy, they could attempt to delay the oncoming army before they get to the cabin, but the cabin will provide a much better ground for battle.  However, if the PCs do linger, the army may well attempt to recruit them, explaining how wicked their quarry is to the unfortunately misguided PCs...

In the frozen mountaintops, a den of villainy taunts the stark mountainside that it rests upon.  It is a cabin alive with wickedness, traitors, and anarchy.  The heretic makes his way toward this cabin and the army pursues.  At first, upon entering the cabin, it seems abandoned--but this is impossible.  In fact, a secret panel may be discovered in one of the walls on a successful Search check with DC 20.  Behind the panel, an eerie staircase, fashioned of the bones of a frost worm in mockery of the divine City of Chastity, spirals down into darkness.  Somewhere below the sound of footsteps echo...

*The Sixth Step...Spiral Staircase*

In the frozen mountaintops, a spiral staircase descends into the depths.  If pressed, and if the PCs are with him, Lothario will meet his foes on this staircase, though he will personally disengage and continue down at the first opportunity.  The staircase is narrow and can only fit two fighters side by side, in cramped formation.  Additionally, it provides unsteady footing, especially for those fighting from above.  Mechanically, a balance check of DC 5 should be required to maintain footing for anyone fighting upward on the steps each time they make an attack.  Failure means a tumble down the staircase.  Those on higher ground should suffer the same fate on a failure of a balance check made at DC 10.  If Lothario is successful in escaping, he will rally his army within his stronghold and hope to fend off the Theocracy’s attack...

In the frozen mountaintops, a spiral staircase descends into the depths.  If the PCs pursue Lothario with the army, he will not hesitate to flee down the stairs.  Catching him is then only a simple matter of racing down the treacherous staircase.  A balance check of DC 10 must be made for each round of running, modified as normal for a running character.  A failure means a tumble to the bottom.  If the heretic manages to escape to his stronghold, the PCs and army will be met (though perhaps not immediately) with an army of several dozen poorly disciplined young men and women...

*The Final Step...Justice*

In the frozen mountaintops, two opposing forces, unavoidably linked, drag each other into mutual destruction.  Lothario’s army will be overrun; it is inevitable.  Lothario will stand trial for heresy against the Theocracy of the Chaste.  If found guilty (as is also inevitable), he will be burned at the stake.  Justly.  Finally, the weakened city will suffer a revolt from its disenchanted and oppressed citizens and the Theocracy will find its end therein...

All of this assumes that the PCs do nothing to alter events.  The PCs could help Lothario fend of the attacking army, and the Theocracy may well fall all the quicker.  Or, the PCs may be able to quell an uprising in the City through use of force or, more likely, diplomacy.  Possibly, the PCs will be able to talk some sense into both sides and prevent the destruction of both, although this is not a likely course.

Finally, the PCs may determine that both sides are reprehensible and that neither has any true idea what justice is, let alone, _who_ is just.  In such a case, the PCs may just leave them to their (just?) fates.


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## Rune (Oct 21, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Oh and can the loser of this match play Wicht for third place?




Seconded.  I'd like to see Nemm get a chance to write a scenario without all the pressure.


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Daniel, 

I emailed you a not quite done draft of my entry b/c we are having a fire drill here at my office and in case I did not get back into the building in time I wanted you to have SOMETHING.

I hope to get back and post something a bit more edited (all the content is there though) but if not - please consider that my entry.

This just hasn't been my day. 

- Nemm


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 21, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Daniel,
> 
> I emailed you a not quite done draft of my entry b/c we are having a fire drill here at my office and in case I did not get back into the building in time I wanted you to have SOMETHING.
> 
> ...




Hey man, keep your hands off my "King of Built-In Excuses" crown. I'm not giving that up for nobody.


Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

I'll evaluate that if I've got nothing else from you by the deadline.  Although it's Rune's final call, however, I'm willing to consider a fire drill a reasonable excuse for some lateness.  Rune, shall I be strict about the deadline, or do you want me to cut him a little bit of slack due to the unforeseen circumstances?

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Hey, it is not an excuse - it is damn good and should win anyway   

Of course, now after announcing the drill they are taking their sweet time to actually ring the alarm so we can hurry up and leave and come back.

Back to editing!


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## Rune (Oct 21, 2003)

It would really suck to have the reigning champion disqualified due to a fire drill...


For him!


Seriously, I don't have a problem with extending leniency, though I suspect it won't be necessary.

But I _hope_ you get it posted by 4:00, because I'd really like to read it before going to work.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

I just read Nem's rough draft.  Eleven freakin' pages of single-spaced text!  Long enough that I'm not gonna read the second revision he just sent; judgment will be either on the rough draft or on a final version that comes in in a relatively timely fashion.

Daniel


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 21, 2003)

> Eleven freakin' pages of single-spaced text!



/eyes bug out

My goodness! Somebody find him a real job to do!

Wait... I'm an editor without current work, too....


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

MerakSpielman said:
			
		

> My goodness! Somebody find him a real job to do!



'Course, I'm the one that just read it....

Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 21, 2003)

If brevity is the soul of wit, at least I know I'm wittier this time around!


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Nemm vs. Rune
-----------------------------

Ingredients
-----------
Mountain Cabin (the home of Dzor the dwarven ranger - possible guide and translator)
Frost Worm (the great divine beat worshipped by the hobgoblins)
Lothario (the name of the womanizing knight-adventurer the party is sent to find)
Spiral Staircase (the site of a climactic fight on the sacred hill)
Heat Lightning (the name of two characters whose fates are entwined)
Heresy (the the divinity of the worm is rejected)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Background*

It was nearly 15 years ago that King Halfred of Neergaard ascended to the throne, taking for his queen the young daughter of the Earl of East Andovar.  However, the girl who would be the beloved queen Ursula was known in some circles to already have a lover - the third son of a minor noble of Atuan who reputation for bravery and daring was only surpassed by his reputation as a lover of many different women, from the pretty but strong daughters of peasant farmers to the widowed Ladies of knights lost in the various campaigns fought in those days against the hobgoblin hordes still common in those days.  However, Sir Lothario of Lithemoor, seemed to have fallen for the charms of the young noble woman, and instead of moving on to his next conquest whether it be another woman or another legendary monster or treasure to be hunted - the rumors began that he was actually going to lay claim to his right to marry Ursula.  

However, before the messy situation could come to a head, Ursula intervened on her lover’s behalf and negotiated a compromise to save Lothario’s life.  The king allowed the knight-adventurer to go into a form of self-imposed exile in the mountains of northeastern Thelgaard to run a small fortress in a mountain pass to keep an eye on the retreating hobgoblin hordes and give warning if they should ever begin to amass and return to be a danger.   

Sir Lothario grudgingly accepted – but little did the king know that this was because the queen had figured out a way to meet her lover each year.  The queen goes on a yearly pilgrimage to the Shrine of Light at the foot of the Froststone mountains at the end of the summer – and each year Sir Lothario would come down from the mountains in disguise for a secret night with the queen.

However, at the end of this past summer he did not arrive.

Desperate to know what happened to him (for these meetings, after 15 years of a loveless marriage for the sake of duty and the kingdom were truly all she lived for) she had her most trusted lady-in-waiting bring up the matter of the northern fort with one of king’s generals.  It was soon realized that contact had been lost with the remote fort for some time – and had gone without notice for it was seldom regular.  However, it was just long enough to send a small dispatch of troops to find out what happened.  They did not return.

This is where the PCs come in.   The Crown hires a moderately powerful adventuring party to investigate this disappearance of the troops and the loss of contact with the fort, while a more substantial force is drawn together, for everyone is certain that these events can only mean one thing: the hobgoblins have returned in force again and pose a danger to the whole kingdom.

However, the Queen has become somewhat myopic about the situation and is most worried that something has happened to Sir Lothario, or that these events will somehow conspire to keep them from ever being together again.  

While this adventure is the typical epic quest into the northern wastes to investigate a danger to the kingdom, the GM can easily add a whole level of court intrigue both before, during and after the actual quest – by having another court official give special instructions to one or more members of the party that can be trusted to be discrete.  And that is bringing a letter (from the queen – though the party would not know that unless they open the letter) to Sir Lothario (the letter will reveal her undying love for him (she’s afraid he is going to die) and hint that the young prince is really his), and failing that to retrieve his body (above and before anyone else’s) for proper burial.  The official being more pragmatic and worried about the consequences of this being revealed will also want them to retrieve any indiscrete items he may have had on his person or in his quarters.  The court official will be extremely vague about this, saying “you’ll know it if you see it”, but he of course means any letters, tokens or journal that might point to the knight’s on-going relationship with the Queen.

*Hooks:*

This adventure is designed to have a classic D&D quest feel with the secondary complexity of helping to cover up (or reveal – depending on the PCs moral inclinations) the Queen’s affair, and in as much has some “classic” story hooks found in any number of classic D&D modules.

-- The party could be veterans of past missions for the Crown and are the first to be called in this time of need.  Alternately, they could be well-known strangers traveling through the kingdom chosen by an agent of court for the mission because they would be less likely to put two and two together and figure out about the Queen’s affair.

-- One of the PCs could be the illegitimate child of Sir Lothario and havingjust recently found out about the identity of his father, or where he was stationed (something that was generally not talked about) wants to seek him out anyway.  (In this scenario the DM could introduce a second adventuring party seeking to fulfill the same quest. (for the Crown) or a whole other layer of complexity could be added if the PC in question found out from his or her own mother about the Queen’s past affair and the party could try to use this as leverage get her to use her influence to get the PCs hired for the mission.  Alternately, they can simply try to contact her for information and get hired _only_ to deal only with the affair elements of the mission – thus allowing the GM to incorporate the rival party scenario as well.

-- The PCs could owe the infamously merciful queen a favor for having intervened on their behalf in the past (this would obviously require some set up).

-- A wilderness oriented party of rangers, druid, barbarians, or similar types may have come across evidence of increased hobgoblin activity and brought it to the attention of the king.

*The Mission*

In case it wasn’t clear, the PCs’ mission (as far as the crown is concerned)  is to investigate what if anything happened to the fortress and the men stationed there, give them what aid they can, and scout out any hobgoblin activity in the area, and if need be make pre-emptive strikes against any forward groups of hobgoblins in danger of invading the southerly lands.  A larger group of soldiers will be following by the end of the coming winter to re-possess the fort (which everyone is convinced has been overrun – or use of divination will reveal that no living soldiers can be found in that place).

The mission, if the party is hired by the queen or her agents is to find specifically what happened to Sir Lothario –and to deliver him a letter if possible – or gather what evidence of any of the affair and bring it back to the queen – and make sure no one else finds it.  If dead, his corpse is to be returned for proper burial.


*The Journey to the Mountains*

The journey to the Froststone mountains can be as eventful or not as the DM wants.  However, as PCs first enter into the mountains they have a chance to come upon a *mountain cabin*, home to Dzor –the dwarven ranger.  An exile from his people, this ranger know these mountains, the surrounding area, its peoples and its animals and monsters very well.  It is possible that the DM may want Dzor to be a contact the party is pointed towards before they set out, especially if their skills and spell selection do not make them particularly fit for a winter mountain journey.  Dzor traded regularly with both the soldiers in Fort White, and paid tithe to the hobgoblins in forms of furs, meat and worked goods to keep them from killing him.  In fact, he even spoke irregularly with Rez-Naci (see below) and trading information – However, their “friendship” (if it can be called that) is a base and feral one of the wilderness and both know he may need to kill the other one day.  When the party arrives, Dzor has just returned from his last trip hunting bears before winter really hits hardest.  He knows nothing of the razing of the fort, but was planning on traveling there (a day’s march away) in a few days after he had cleaned his hides for trade.  He can give directions, but will be reluctant to bring the party there unless paid.  Money means little to him, but he will want any worked metal tools that are hard for him to get, like axe heads, hammers, nails, a shovel – that kind of thing.  Or gems or jewelry of exceptional value that he feels he might be able to trade later.  

One way the DM can introduce possibly crucial mountain-man type character, is to have the PCs seeking shelter from an early storm and happening upon a *mountain cabin*.  Entering it is seems recently used but abandoned, soon after Dzor will hurry in chased from his hunting trip by the storm – creating a great opportunity for role-playing during a tense situation.

If in the above scenario the party searches the cabin they will find human-sized pilgrim’s road clothing packed away.  For this is where Sir Lothario came to disguise himself on his way to the Shrine of Light each year- paying the dwarf well for his discretion and help.

 Or if the PCs spend time gathering information among shepherds and other peoples in the foothills they may know of the dwarf (having traded with him) and send them in that direction  - or some combination of both.

If the PCs stop by the Shrine of Light (having figured out some of the queen’s secret while undertaking the court intrigue portion of the adventure) they can find out that a hermit made a yearly pilgrimage to the shrine each year around the same time as  the queen (though they were never seen together), and he claimed to live in a cabin in the mountains five days northeast of there.

The cabin can act as a relatively safe place for the party to stage their forays into the frozen plain beyond the fortress (see below), or a place to re-supply and rest traveling to and from this quest.

Dzor knows that the hobgoblins have risen in numbers, but he also has been able to figure out from clues unwittingly dropped by Rez-Naci that some kind of internal problem in the tribe is threatening their success.   He gathered this conclusion from Rez-Naci’s comment that his people slay those guilty of heresy, unless they flee like cowards.  The way it was said, made the dwarf think the hobgoblin holy warrior meant someone in specific.  The reason it even came up was because Dzor himself was sent into exile by his own people.  He was accused of heresy for regarding the revering of stone above all other elements of nature as foolish and limiting – and he doesn’t care who knows it.   However, Dzor is ever the canny tradesman – and he has not traded the information about the hobgoblin numbers to Sir Lothario and his men for two reasons, 1) the numbers of hobgoblins is still not sufficient to pose a threat to the human lands (not that he really cares about that), so 2) the longer he waits the more crucial this information will seem to the humans and the more he can make from sharing it.  Dzor is unlikely to share this information with the PCs unless they directly ask him and are prepared to offer him a great deal for it.  

Dzor has no qualms about leading the PCs to some dangerous place and then losing them if they try to intimidate or coerce him by force to lead them or aid them in some other way.  He is a canny tracker and knows the area well.  And will bring them to the lair of a hibernating dire bear, or some other place saying it is a “short cut” or some other ruse, and then try to get away and sell the information about the coming PCs to Rez-Naci.  Dzor is _not_ evil.  He is simply self-serving and pragmatic on all things and suspicious of people with supposedly altruistic motives.  He never forgets that his own people were supposedly good and altruistic, but still they drove him away for his beliefs.

Of course, the other *heretic* that Dzor discerned the existence of, is Nebbukanezzar (see below).  Dzor is neutral in alignment and should be about a 9th level ranger.


*Fort White*

The fort is set at the mouth of a mountain pass that opens onto a huge frozen plain, with a tall hill covered in ice just off center.  It will be clear that something is wrong at the fort as the PCs approach.   Smoke is rising from within the fort, and two of the outer walls are collapsed.  If one of the PCs thinks to climb up one of the cliff faces to get a better view they will see that the far collapsed wall was burst from the _inside_, and that while some rubble is smoldering, the smoke seems to be coming from a small fire lit within the courtyard.

*Rez-Naci & His Warriors*:

Rez-Naci, whose name means “Heat-Lightning” in the hobgoblin tongue is a holy warrior of the bizarre faith of this hobgoblin culture.  It is important to note two things, 1) the word for “heat” or “burning” in hobgoblin is the same as for “cold” as touching something that is intensely cold feels as if it burns, and 2) it is also the name of the frost worm revered and worshipped by this tribe (for reasons that will become apparent soon).  Rez-Naci is the leader of what is called “The Arm” of their faith, an elite squad of barbarian/clerics who serve to honor their great god in combat and lead the attempts to destroy the world of men every few generations and lay claim to the fertile and warm lands from the south they were driven from over a thousand years ago (when humans first came to this place) and the Kingdom of Neergaard’s first dynasty was founded.  

Rez-Naci is here with 12 other of his warriors (13 is a lucky number for them) investigating the events at the fort.  While he and his fellow hobgoblins hated the presence of humans so close to what has become over the generations holy ground to them – they limited their attacks on them to times when men actually entered the plain, or when an opportunity arose to raid the fort for supplies as when the yearly caravan that Sir Lothario led back in the middle of the fall.  It had become so regular an event, that Lothario began bringing back two extra wagon loads of less expensive goods – and would allow them to be taken with minimal resistance rather than risk too much life.  The hobgoblins, not wanting to reveal their growing number and power to the humans, never attacked in mass, fearing an army from the south arriving before things could be organized for another great push south in the next generation or so.

This should be a great scene as Rez-Naci has information that the PCs will find very useful about Nebbukanezzar and the frost worm he is named for – However, the PCs are likely to think that the hobgoblins are  responsible for the razing of the fort, especially if they have a means to sneak past the elite warriors set up to watch for anyone coming from the south and can witness Rez-Naci and the others stripping the place bare of anything of any value – including slaughtering the remaining sled dogs and piling up the human corpses for freezing and later consumption by the tribe (though the reason they are being piled up might not be clear).

A temporary alliance between Rez-Naci and the PCs might be possible, especially if Dzor is there to help negotiate it (the dwarf speaks the hobgoblin tongue).  Rez-Naci knows that the frost worm is a great danger to him and his men and he has quietly always held the belief that his survival as a child was dumb luck not divine providence – He will see the PCs as a good distraction for the worm while he and his followers deal with Nebbukanezzar (see Rez-Naci & Nebbukanezzar below).

If the party searches the Fort they will find that some great burrowing creature destroyed it from below.  There are few bodies as most of the men were swallowed whole, but those that are around (who fell off or were trapped beneath) collapsing walls have been gathered by the hobgoblins of the “the Arm”.  In addition, most of any written records that might have been found in Sir Lotthario’s quarters have been burned by  Rez-Naci and his warriors.  However, in that chamber can be found a loose brick in the large fireplace, behind which are some personal effects (pick something of sufficient value – perhaps an heirloom) and a ton of love letters.  Some are from the Queen, but others are from other women throughout northern Neergaard.  It seems the Queen was not the only woman he was visiting on those trips.  He has more than one illegitimate child, and there are even some half-written letters back.  Hidden in here is also his journal which reveals a man who really did fall in love with Ursula – but who forced to give her up and come out to the mountain wilderness to save his own life – grew embittered and returned to his Lothario ways after a few years when it became evident that he would never get her unless the king were to die, and despite his many flaws, one thing Sir Lothario is not is a traitor who wishes ill on his king.  If anything this post allowed him to hide his other affairs from the queen as she could not afford to keep tabs on him at any other time to keep from arousing suspicions.   Any excerpts from the journal should reveal a torn and bitter man, wracked with guilt and writing alternating rants of love, self-hatred and jealousy.  He even writes that he hopes the hobgoblins attack in force soon so that he may die in valiant battle befitting the hero he thought he would one day become.

This should create a great conflict for the party about what to do with this information and whether it should be revealed to the Queen – and whether the mothers of his other illegitimate children have a right to learn about what happened to him (of course, the PCs will probably assume Sir Lothario is dead – but he is not (see The Sacred Hill & Stair Below)

*Rez-Naci & Nebbukanezzar*

The Gergo-lahtchli hobgoblins live in caves in the mountains that form a ring around the great ice plain.  The land beyond that ring is a maze of broken and razor sharp rocks, sudden step drops and sheets of ice.  Any passage out of this area en masse would have to be through the pass where Fort White stands.   The field itself and the hill at (about) its center is holy land to these hobgoblins and none may enter it except in specific times of prayer and when the armies are to march upon the humans of the south.  It is also the territory of a fearsome aberration of nature that the Gergo-lahtchli revere – a half-blue dragon frost worm, called Rez-Naci – whose name means *“Heat Lightning”. *

At the top of the hill in the middle of the field was a powerful magical object called “The Bell of the Worm”.  It was the role of the “Mysteries of the Faith” (as opposed to “the Arm”) branch of the religion to make their way there by means of a secret corridor of stones through the ice during holy times and ring the bell, summoning the worm for a sacrifice, and allowing the ceremonies on the edge of the great field to take place, or for their great armies to pass by safely to the glory of the wars in the south.  The corridor of stones is such that there are still broken areas exposed to the ice and snow (and thus to the worm) requiring those traveling this path to sprint across the open spaces.  Otherwise the stone here are too large and thick for even the Frost worm hybrid to smash or burrow through, or for its lightning breath to burst.

Rez-Naci (the leader of the "The Arm") as a babe accidentally wandered into the holy land and no one from his tribe was allowed to go after him.  He was written off as dead, especially since it was during a time period that the frost worm was particularly active and had even killed a few hobgoblin hunters who were near the field of frost.  However, the young child by some miracle emerged from the sacred land, and was named for the worm and entered into the sacred training for his place in the Arm of Faith.  It was considered a sign from their great worm god that Rez-Naci would be a great leader and lead them to victory over the humans of the south.

However, for Nebbukanezzar, the leader of the “Mysteries of the Faith” the mystic branch of the hobgoblin’s religion (a group of monk/sorcerers) – this was a sign not of a miracle of special favor for the child, but of what he had come to expect long before – that the frost beast was not a divine being, but just a powerful monster and that it might be used in his people’s desire for more power.  After years of research into the worm and the Bell of the Worm and surreptitious journeys out to the hill to experiment he discovered that the sacred object had more powers.  However, one of his own underlings having discovered Nebbukanezzar’s heresy in regards to the divine worm the tribe worshipped crossed the religio-political lines of the faith and reported it to the leader of “the Arm” – after a confrontation Nebbukanezzar slew both his underling and the leader of the Arm (thus causing Rez-Naci to be promoted into the position of leader) and then fled with 12 of his   monk/sorcerers to the hill.  

Among the tribe this was considered a great sign, for Rez-Naci was now leading the Arm of the Faith and his first real mission would be to deal with the heretic of the worm he was named for.

However, before a plan of action could be made to deal with the heretic he returned possessing Rez-Naci worm (see The Bell of Worm below).  This was greater than heresy in the eyes of the tribe and especially the Arm of the Faith – it was blasphemy. They rejected Nebbukanezzar’s offer of using his new found power to help lead an invasion against the men of the south.  Angered at their short-sightedness, Nebbukanezzar went ahead and attacked Fort White – knowing that such an attack would lead to men from the south coming en force and forcing his people to rely on his powers to defeat the attacking humans.  

Rez-Naci and his followers watched the attack on the fort from the ice cliff above – for Rez-Naci has a tactical mind and if forced to battle his namesake he wanted to see what weaknesses it had.  He saw none, but he did see the other members of the Mysteries of the Faith come into the fort soon after the worm and grab Sir Lothario and take him (ostensibly back to the hill). 

Rez-Naci will be careful about what information if any he reveals to the PCs.  Being rather intelligent and diplomatic for one of his kind and talents (remember he is a barbarian as well and can fly into a murderous rage in combat) he will suggest that the PCs have a chance to do something about the danger to their own people by taking care of Nebbukanezzar now – except that the worm cannot be killed.  Some PCs might be tempted to wait for the army to arrive to deal with the problem – but quick-thinking Rez-Naci will explain that an approaching army will be easy to notice and that as they march through the pass it would be an easy thing for Nebbukanezzar to use the worm to collapse the sides of the pass killing most if not all the soldiers in one fell swoop – while he might not be aware of the PCs presence as of yet.  If this does not work as a means of getting the PCs to “help” (i.e. act as a distraction) – he will tell them that the leader of the humans was taken and might still be alive.  He also will tell them that the secret to stopping Nebbukanezzar and getting him to relinquish power over the worm can be found in the Sacred Hill (but will pretend not to know what it is – however, he has a pretty good idea that it is some additional power of the Bell).

The DM should really play up the uneasy alliance between these hobgoblins and the PCs.  While they will likely be surprised by Rez-Naci’s demeanor and intelligence the rest of his 12 followers will act more like hobgoblins would be expected to act – quick to anger and resentful of human (or non-hobgoblin) presence. Rez-Naci will have to stop them from reacting violently to the PCs – and may even allow one of his men to challenge one of the PCs to a fight to the death as a means of both testing the PCs’ power and prove to the others that he knows what he is doing in being cautious in these dealings.  A PC that knows the hobgoblin tongue but does not reveal this will learn a lot about the Gergo-lahtchli – for Rez-Naci will have to remind his men that their people are not yet ready to face the men of the south and still have much power to gain before doing so.  The afore-mentioned duel could be used to reinforce that.  The 12 other hobgoblins in this group should be about ½ to 2/3 the level of the individual PCs (depending on the number of PCs), but Rez-Naci himself should be three or four levels higher than the highest level PC.

*The Journey to the Sacred Hill & Stair*

It is an eight hour march to where the safe stone passage to the hill can be found.  While this passage was only supposed to be known to the “Mysteries of the Faith” – most of the Arm knew of it (the two groups were ever competing for power) – and even Dzor has been able to figure out where it likely is.  So, even if the party did not ally themselves with Rez-Naci they should be able to find it with some effort (though the danger of wandering around looking should be apparent to them).  If the party has a means for all of them to fly they will find the powerful winds of this area make flying very very difficult.

Depending on the party’s level, the DM may want to throw in a battle with the Rez-Naci worm while the group marches across the plain to the Hill.  If the party is not high enough level to really challenge the worm at all, then the encounter should be limited to happening on the stone path and at the hill – otherwise, when it attacks, Rez-Naci the hobgoblin will do his best to break away from the group with his own followers and leave the PCs to deal with the worm (and hopefully be killed).

However, in this case, Nebbukanezzar will note Rez-Naci’s absence and after a few rounds try to take off after him to stop him before he reaches the corridor of broken stones.  He will fail, but then hurry back to the hill to prepare for his arrival, ignoring the PCs for now.

This is also an opportunity to thin the number of NPC barbarian/cleric NPCs the DM has to worry about by having some killed by the worm.

The party should be able to track Rez-Naci to the stones from there fairly easily.  If Dzor is with them (though it will take an offer of great payment to get him to come this far) he will certainly be able to do it.

Alternately, the DM can add a great deal of tension to the journey through the corridor of stones, by having the worm be visible just beyond it, trying to reach the PCs and/or Rez-Naci and his hobgoblins from above in areas where it can reach down to get them from behind the stones, or using one of its two breath weapons to get past gaps in the stone.  Or most evilly using the trill ability to freeze people in place as they run across the gaps.  

The addition of some other “random” encounters in this area will help to give the environment a sense of verisimilitude.  This might include a colony of taers or tribe of yeti that live among the safety of the rocks – and perhaps non-combat encounters with caribou or other similar animals.


*The Sacred Hill & Stair* 

The Sacred Hill was long ago the home of a wizard who loved experimenting with the combining and re-combining of monsters.  It was his work that led to the aberration that is that Rez-Naci worm.  The hill itself is hollowed out, but can only be entered from the top.  A *spiral staircase* winds ups the outside of the hill.  It is covered in ice and very treacherous.  Anyone climbing these steps must move at half speed or be required to make a balance check (DC 20) or lose their footing and then must make a Reflex check (DC 16) or slide painfully back down the steps (assume to as far as where their movement started).  Others on the steps that someone slipping down passes adjacent to are allowed a Reflex save against DC 10 to allow the sliding person another save at +2 to stop sliding.  If someone slides into a box where somewhere else is standing, the standing person must automatically save or fall and start sliding.  (Use size modifiers for grappling to the saving throw in this case – i.e. a small character sliding into a large character is less likely to knock him over than vice versa).   Those who slide have a 50% chance of sliding in a straight line and thus right off the side of the spiral stair taking appropriate falling damage.   The hill is 80 feet high.

The icy spiral staircase is meant to be the site for a dramatic and dynamic combat.  As the PCs and/or Rez-Naci try to hurry up the steps they will have to deal with Nebbukanezzar’s Mysteries of the Faith monk/sorcerers (six of which will be met on the steps using spells and missile weapons to fight from above and afar.  Anyone struck while on the icy steps needs to make a balance check against 10 + the damage dealt or fall (with rules as above).  The other six can be found guarding the entrance to the chamber of mysteries.  

In addition, the worm itself will be a danger to those on the exposed steps, using its breath weapons, trill and slamming into the hillside to try to stop anyone from getting to the top.  However, even at full height, the worm cannot reach past 40’ up the side of the hill – so if the entire party and allies get past it – Nebbukanezzar will abandon the worm’s body and will have to be dealt with in the Chamber of Mysteries.  However, it might be possible to distract Nebbukanezzar on the steps (if someone wants to sacrifice himself) allowing others some time to get to the Chamber of Mysteries and figure out what to do.

The hobgoblin monk/sorcerers should be about equivalent level to the Arms of Faith with Rez-Naci.

*The Chamber of Mysteries*

The chamber of mysteries is a round domed structure of permanent walls of ice atop the hill.  This was once the workroom of the wizard who had made this his stronghold in ancient days passed.  The place should be large bright room of ice (think the inside of the Fortress of Solitude in the Superman movies) with various platforms and levels and strange ice structures and sculptures.  At the center of the chamber is a great bell made of a translucent ice-like metal hanging above a raised block of ice.  

If Nebbukanezzar is still possessing the Frost Worm – then he will be standing on the block of ice beneath the bell (see “The Bell of the Worm” below) and his body will be defended by his imp familiar, Bloodicle (who will try to alert is master).

While Nebbukanezzar is within the bell and controlling the worm he can be coup de graced.   Otherwise, whether he flees, fights or bargains depends on the threat placed before him. If it comes to it he will try to bargain Sir Lothario’s life for his own.

While Nebbukanezzar was still obeying the laws and taboos of his order – none of the other items in the chamber aside from the bell could be touched – but once he decided to abandon the faith of his people – he began to figure out what other things in here did.

Around the Chamber of Mysteries is a thick inner-wall in 12 long segments. – 9 of the wall segments seem to have different things frozen in the center of them, but only the vague shadowy outline of the thing can be determined without True-Seeing or some other similar ability.  These wall segments function as a type of mirror of life trapping.  Nebbukanezzar knows the command words for 7 of the segments (they are different for each) two of which are empty.  If things are going against him in a fight, he might release something nasty from one of the segments.  And if it turns out to be _too_ nasty he will try to use Charm Monster to get it to obey him.   Sir Lothario is “frozen” in one of these wall segments (Nebbukanezzar planned to use him in a back-up plan to gain power and cause havoc among the human forces in the south by means of _magic jar_ or _domination_.

Nebbukanezzar should have at least 10 levels of sorcerer, and be around 15th to 18th level – so that he presents a danger consummate with the worm itself. 

The other creatures in the wall segments should be other experiments of the wizard that created this place.  Including other half-draconic things (like blue dragon/artic owlbears) and/or things with the cold elemental creature template from the Manual of the Planes.  One of the chambers should also hold three preserved blue dragon eggs and one of the ones Nebbukanezzar has not figured out how to open yet has a gelugon fiend trapped within.

The DM should populate this chamber with a variety of mysterious and dangerous things.  Perhaps magical notes carves into sheets of ice that can only be read in certain light, other magical items, trapped items or boxes, etc… 

*Conclusions*

There are a great number of possible conclusions and consequences for this adventure.

- Rez-Naci will want to slay Nebbukanezzar himself, however, he does not know the effect of killing the villain while beneath the bell.  In addition, if the bell is free, he will feel an overwhelming urge to ring it and step beneath it and take control of the worm himself – if he does so – a great unknown prophecy of his people will be fulfilled and he will permanently _become_ the worm, his body melting away.  Ironically, fulfilling what Nebbukanezzar wanted, but in the rightful way.  If this happens, the other warriors of the Arm of Faith will go into a religious fervor, trying to kill any and everyone.

- The party may or may not succeed in freeing Lothario from the wall of ice – but regardless he poses a tricky political problem the PCs may not know how to solve.  He will be very resentful of any involvement on their part – esp. if they destroyed the letters and other effects they might have found in the ruined fortress.

- The possible threat of the hobgoblins will still have to be dealt with – as the leaders of the coming army will want to have any information the PCs have gathered about them – and they will be very upset if they discover the PCs worked with the hobgoblins and did not take a prisoner.   Depending on how things develop with Rez-Naci, the PCs may even feel reluctant to reveal to much about them if they feel the hobgoblins pose no real threat as of yet (though if he becomes the worm those feelings are unlikely to last).

- The PCs are likely to have a long wait before the army arrives.  The Sacred Hill is honey-combed with chambers from the ancient days – perhaps they will spend time exploring those and seeing what else there is to be found in this place.  The adventure could have whole second part involving any kind of classic dungeon-delving elements the DM wants to incorporate.  Perhaps the command words for the other ice walls of life-trapping can be found, releasing some of the other captives or horrors within those chambers.  

- If the DM wants to explore a war theme or play out large battles, he can have the hobgoblins decide to face the coming army and the PCs may become involved as elite troops or scouts – especially if Rez-Naci has become the Frost Worm and is leading the troops in that form.

*Some Final Notes*

*Rez-Naci* (the blue dragon / frost worm) – Rez-Nazi is the result of magical experimentation upon blue dragon eggs fertilizing them with the essence of frost worm.  The thing should have about 21 HD and is over 60’ long.  Much like a rhemoraz, it has small vestigal wings on the front portion of its body that collapse cleanly against the body for burrowing, but are used to raise the heavy front-end of the beast when it rears up to attack.  In addition to the Frost Worm’s usual breath weapon, it can also breath a stroke of lightning – thus its name (which can be translated as “Heat Lightning”; remember the detail of the hobgoblin word for “heat/cold”).  The worm on its own is more intelligent than a typical frost worm, but not nearly as intelligent as a blue dragon (Int 9). It hates being summoned/possessed and if by some chance Nebbukanezzar is near it while it is not possessed it will attack him.  It will not attack Rez-Naci under any circumstances.

*The Bell of the Worm* – Developed by the wizard who created the Rez-Naci worm, if simply rung it summons any worm-like magical beast within a 50 mile radius to it.  This included frost worms, purple worms, rhemoraz and similar creatures.  Once a creature comes within 100’ of the bell, whoever steps under it may possess the worm (similar to a magic jar spell).  The worms remain in the area as long as the bell is rung and up to 5 minutes afterward.  Thus the importance of the bell being out of reach of the worm, or else it would likely destroy everything around while you sought to get under and control it (or if more than one worm answered the call).  Worms gain a Will save (DC 20) to resist the effect, but another attempt can be tried once per minute. While possessing the worm, the possessor also gains the ability to communicate telepathically with any sentient creature within 100 feet of the worm.   If a possessor is killed while controlling the worm, his consciousness is permanently stuck in the worm.  If the worm is killed the possessor is stunned for one round, but after that is fine.

Someone beneath the bell can relinquish control as a free action, but taking control is a full round action.  While beneath the bell the possessor is in kind a daze and all listen checks are made at –10 and spot checks at –20 (it is possible to see, but the bell itself is translucent).  This daze does allow for a coup de grace on the possessor – but if he survives a concentration check must be made to maintain possession.  The only range limit for possession is that the worm (and possessor) must remain on the same plane.  The possession lasts for up to 12 hours modified by the possessor’s charisma.


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

RIGHT AT THE BUZZER! WOO-HOO!

Sorry about the length - I just couldn't stop.

Daniel, please use this entry.  There are lots of little details added.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

*Judgment, Nem vs. Rune:*

Another case in which the contestants excelled in different areas.

*Organization:* I've left this category out for a few rounds because it hasn't been significant, but I'm bringing it back in, because both entries were remarkably organized. I say "remarkably," not "well." My remarks follow. 

Rune's was organized in an unusual fashion, almost a lyrical fashion, with the two concurrent perspectives on the adventure, a set of paragraphs for each ingredient, plus a final set for the denouement. Very readable, very easy to follow; although it wouldn't be of especial assistance to the DM running the adventure, it made for a cool entry format.

Nem, on the other hand, desperately needs an editor. His second sentence - 







> However, the girl who would be the beloved queen Ursula was known in some circles to already have a lover - the third son of a minor noble of Atuan who reputation for bravery and daring was only surpassed by his reputation as a lover of many different women, from the pretty but strong daughters of peasant farmers to the widowed Ladies of knights lost in the various campaigns fought in those days against the hobgoblin hordes still common in those days



 - nearly gave me a migraine. I feared I was going to throw up my hands halfway through the entry and give up on reading it. Were I tutoring Nem, I'd forbid him to use hyphens, the word "however," and nested parentheses (my god, nested parentheses?) until he was free of their addiction. This entry was the sloppiest-organized of any entry yet, and was positively painful to read for that reason.

*Characters:* Fortunately for Nem, he makes a comeback here. We've got the solitary, mercenary dwarf; the canny hobgoblin barbarian; the evil hobgoblin heretic; the bitter relapsed manslut; and the bizarre frost-wyrm as characters. None of them were especially memorable, no Stan the Fans in the bunch, but they were all plausible, and all had the potential for good roleplay. Rune's characters - excuse me, character - fell flat in comparison. I'm not sure whether we're talking Jim Jones or Barry White, a French Situationist or a pop star. In my mind, I've settled on playing him like my childhood companion Brian Dingledine, all sneers and erudition and punk attitude and sex appeal and manipulation, but I could really use some better characterization - and more characters.

*Scenes:* Both, of course, turn the spiral staircase and the frost worm into cool scenes. Nem has got more cool scenes, though: from watching the hobgoblins stack corpses, to running across the ice field, to fighting up the hillside, to dealing with the mad sorcerer inside the hill, and even to confronting a dwarf inside his modest cabin. Rune's scenes were pretty much what was suggested immediately by the ingredients, and not much more (the fight vs. the frost wyrm with the army's participation, however, was pretty cool).

*Mood:* Rune's was definitely moody, almost allegorical in tone. It suffered, unfortunately, from the absence of sympathetic characters: I'm afraid a lot of players would throw up their hands in disgust and leave the two sides to wallow in their own pettiness. The allegorical tone that worked so well in Rune's last entry fell flat in this one. Nem's has a more standard mood on its surface, but the difficult questions of loyalty (is the queen betraying the king? Is Lothario betraying the queen? Is the hobgoblin betraying his people? Is cooperating with the hobgoblin betraying the PCs' people? Will the hobgoblin betray them?) add a whole bunch of moral quandary goodness. I approve.

I picked this set of ingredients to be difficult. Specifically, mountain cabin conflicts with spiral staircase, and heat lightning conflicts with frost wyrm. The contestants dealt with these contradictions in various ways.

*Spiral Staircase:* Both entries had fights on spiral staircases, of course, with different mechanics for resolving falls. Nem's staircase was spiral only technically - nobody would normally call a stairway wending around a hill a spiral staircase. Though further from the ingredient, however, it was more plausible to me: Rune's staircase built of frost wyrm bones raises the question of why his heretic thought frostwyrms were difficult to kill. He'd killed enough to make this stairway, but figured one frostwyrm would annihilate an army? It seemed a poor choice of construction material for the lothario for an ambiguous political statement.

*Mountain Cabin:* Rune resolved the conflict between cabin and staircase by having the latter be a secret escape from the former. It works pretty well, assuming PCs get to this scene; I imagine the lothario sort of like a supervillain or a Batman at this point, leading the PCs to his Batcave. Nem resolved the contradiction by having them as completely separate scenes in his 11-page opus. Because slightly more action happens in Nem's cabin (Rune's is little more than a foyer for the batcave beneath, where the real fun begins), Nem's use is stronger.

*Frost Wyrm:* I think Rune is using his worm to symbolize chaos, the id, base lust, that sort of thing. Yes? Thus the city of chastity is built on killing the id, and the manslut leads the chaste back to the id, and so forth. And that works pretty well, I think, although Wulf is probably tearing his hair out on reading this. The lothario's use of frost-wyrm corpse in his house doesn't quite work for me: if the chaste kill the worm to symbolize the triumph of order, why does the slut kill the worm? Nem's Rez-Naci (misspelled once, amusingly, as Rez-Nazi - I picture a dour man with long braids shouting, "No fry bread for you!") as a mythical beast-god is a cool creation

*Heat Lightning:* Okay, you both pretty much lamed out on this one, the second of the contradictions in ingredients. Rune's heat lightning as a symbol of the god's pleasure or displeasure felt really tacked on - was this a natural or a supernatural phenomenon? No fair not to tell the DM, as the DM is going to be the one answering the druid player's questions or the questions of the cleric who casts divination. Still and all, it was better than Nem's: heat lightning used twice as someone's name is even more annoying than using it once as someone's name, especially when we're talking Icy-Hot Lightning. Whereas Rune's actual heat lightning wasn't well integrated into his adventure, though, at least Nem's absurd interpretation of the ingredient was an integral part of the story. Oy. I wash my hands of this mess.

*Lothario:* I wondered whether Nem would've renamed his characters if he'd had more time (Ursula, the queen from Atuan? Was that just pandering to another Le Guin fan? And Prince Lothario?) At first, I was expecting to ding him for this ingredient: a lothario who quits sleeping around before the adventure begins is a poor ingredient use. But then we find the secret letters, and find out that old habits die hard. Cool! As I mentioned before, Rune's allegorical lothario didn't feel fully fleshed out to me; while he did fit the ingredient's criterion, I didn't see him as a person.

*Heresy*: Both of you used this ingredient well, and indeed it was central to Rune's adventure. I was left wondering in Nem's adventure what the hobgoblin Icy-Hot was planning on doing about the PCs once they killed off his rival; it becomes clear at the end that Icy-Hot is no heretic himself, and is happy betraying the PCs by killing them, so that difficulty is resolved.

Overall, Rune had a neatly packaged little fairy-tale of an adventure, with a few big flaws - namely, that I can't imagine most PCs getting drawn into a power struggle between such flagrant jerks as the city and the lothario. His structure was neat, but the adventure itself wasn't up to his previous standard. Nem's adventure was sloppy as hell, difficult to read in places and with one silly ingredient usage - but past those problems, it was a great, multilayered adventure with all kinds of possibilities and a few very memorable scenes.

Round goes to Nem. Congratulations!

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

MerakSpielman said:
			
		

> /eyes bug out
> 
> My goodness! Somebody find him a real job to do!




Sweetheart, if I thought I could make a living writing this stuff this job would be history.

But anyway,

I wrote most of it last night and polished it up today at work and added some stuff to make it flow better and tweak how the ingredients were fit together.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 21, 2003)

Somebody let me know if nemm's entry was any good. I'm not reading that damn thing till they release the Cliff's Notes version.


Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

NEM'S ENTRY IN BRIEF:
A guy screws around with the queen and is exiled for it.  Some hoboblins worship a worm.  They kill the guy's friends, capture the guy, and stick him in a mirror.  Nobody is happy with this outcome.  Plus, hot means cold.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Just for the record - I didn't ask Pielorinho to  read the version I sent him - but only to use it if I did not get to post the proper version in time if events conspired to not allow me to get it up in time.    

Also, most of my entries are usually 5 to 9 pages long - so this is not _that_ much longer.


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## el-remmen (Oct 21, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> NEM'S ENTRY IN BRIEF:
> A guy screws around with the queen and is exiled for it.  Some hoboblins worship a worm.  They kill the guy's friends, capture the guy, and stick him in a mirror.  Nobody is happy with this outcome.  Plus, hot means cold.
> 
> Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 21, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

>



Poor Nem, mercilessly mocked by the judge.

Judgment posted.
Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 21, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Poor Nem, mercilessly mocked by the judge.




Well he did ask for it.  Repeatedly as I recall.


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## el-remmen (Oct 22, 2003)

Sorry about the mess -as we all know I was working on it right up to the last minute.  As someone who spends a lot of time editing other people's writing - I am a notoriously sloppy writer who is really bad at editing _myself_ - usually for my own writing I set it aside for a week before going thru with a red pen - otherwise it just too close and makes sense to my addled mind.   And hey, I _like_ nested paranthesis and you know - hyphens 

EDIT: I wanted to add that the poor organization comes from my style of working on these entries, which is to write whatever section come to me first and then cut and past around sentences and chunks of sentences and paragraphs until it is is vaguely in some kind of chronological order.  I often stop in the middle of one section (in this entry while writing about the journey to the sacred hill) to go back and write another (Lothario's connection to the dwarf).

I promise to be more organized and concise in my next entry (as I will not have to work so hard to beat Wulf )

Of all my entries I probably re-wrote sections of this more than any other (the original had red-blue dragon hybrid and a volcano and the worm and no dwarf and people thinking the Lothario was dead all along).  

I did have a fear that you would get bored or annoyed and stop reading before getting to some of the pay-offs (like the Lothario still being a Lothario), but I had to risk it.  While admit that my use of "heat lightning" was rather stretched - I have to disagree that the use was "silly". Then again, I am a sucker for the conceits and oddities of language and my Aquerra setting has tons of those kinds of weird details built into names of people, places and things.   If I had been judging I would have been pretty harsh on it, too - as I would have been on Rune's use of it - which I was so happy when I read b/c it struck me as lamer than mine - but his ambitious attempt to use sexual politics and gender roles in a society had me worried.

I worked hard to have stronger and well-defined NPCs and I think I succeeded - as a DM myself I often try to pull thru a lack-lucter scenario by falling back on my ability to portray interesting and layered characters to the players - both as allies and opponents.

Anyway, good round Rune - Sorry again, Daniel. 

See you in the next round Wulf!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 22, 2003)

I'm up for doing a third place round.  Wicht and Rune, are you guys up for it?  If we do it, I'd like to do it prior to the final round.

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 22, 2003)

I can do it.


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## el-remmen (Oct 22, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> If we do it, I'd like to do it prior to the final round.
> 
> Daniel





Good, I can use a day to recharge my batteries - but next week should prove to be very busy at work - so I would like to face off against Wulf on Thursday/Friday, if at all possible.

Thanks again, Daniel for running this thing.  You da man!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Bumping the thread...Rune hasn't posted on the Boards since my judgment, and he said earlier this week that Thursday (today) would be his last opportunity for a round this week.  Rune, are you around, and would you be up for a match vs. Wicht today?

One way or the other, I'd like to resume the tournament soon.  I'm buying a house and moving next week (GAH!), and will be pretty busy then.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2003)

Can we do the third place and the final rounds concurrently?  

At least stagger them by a few hours?  I would really like to do mine tonight - if not I am not sure the weekend will work for me and it seems next week is bad for you


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## Wicht (Oct 23, 2003)

I can still go, though I may be away from the boards for a few hours today.  If Rune checks in, any time is good for me from this morning until saturday morning.


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## mythago (Oct 23, 2003)

Congrats, nemmerle!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Can we do the third place and the final rounds concurrently?
> 
> At least stagger them by a few hours? I would really like to do mine tonight - if not I am not sure the weekend will work for me and it seems next week is bad for you



That'll be fine.  Wulf, are you around and available this afternoon?  I'll want you both checked in when I give the ingredients.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2003)

Getting the ingredient sometime between 3 pm and 5 pm EST would work great for me. . .

Thanks Daniel!

*In other news:* I am kind of disappointed in the lack of response in my call for some volunteers in this thread.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 23, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Getting the ingredient sometime between 3 pm and 5 pm EST would work great for me. . .




I suppose that works for me, too. My weekday time is short but I haven an even busier weekend coming up.

Consider me checked in.

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Okay, let's do it at three, if that'll work -- but I need both of you to be actually online when I list the ingredients.  Can we manage that?

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2003)

I can do it. (god willing)


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 23, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Okay, let's do it at three, if that'll work -- but I need both of you to be actually online when I list the ingredients.  Can we manage that?




No, I'm at work, there's just no way I can guarantee that. Best effort is all I can do.

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Okay.  Both folks try to be here as soon after 3 pm as possible.  The round will have a slight twist in it that requires folks to see the ingredients more-or-less simultaneously.

Incidentally, after a lot of thought, I've reluctantly decided that neither "bye" nor "dramatic irony" will be amongst the ingredients for the final round.  Being a snarky twerp toward the finalists cannot, ultimately, take precedence over giving out decent ingredients.

Daniel


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 23, 2003)

One of the ingredients should be "snarky twerp" ....


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Inasmuch as I'm running the tournament, "snarky twerp" is an ingredient in every round.

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2003)

Anxious for the ingredients. . . . bumpy-de-bump


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2003)

I thought 3pm was it?


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Okay, *Wulf *will get here when he gets here, and hopefully that'll be soon. Here are most of the ingredients:

*Wulf vs. Nemmerle, for the Iron DM Title*
*Ingredients*
*Illusion of Hell*
*Queen Bee*
*Mammoth Instrument*
*Silent Killer*
*Magical Sand*
*Redemption*

*BONUS INGREDIENTS:*
*Insane Artist [Courtesy of Nemmerle]*
*Paragon of Perfumed Foppery [Courtesy of Wulf Ratbane]*

*Special:*
*Wulf *and *Nem*, here's your chance to screw your opponent. Each of you may choose one ingredient to add to the list; this ingredient must be used by both contestants.

Originally, I was going to come up with a complicated list of rules for these bonus ingredients, but I think only two rules are necessary:
1) Your ingredient may not limit the entries to an unusual genre -- no vending machines, FTL drives, ninjas, or six-shooters.
2) Your ingredient must be reasonable, at my sole discretion; if I think your ingredient sucks, I'll reject it and not add it to the list. Examples of things I might reject would include "Prince Ferholoooloolooh", "Wandering wandering wandering wandering wandering", "Monchichi," and "Your butt." Make it a good ingredient.

If you post your ingredient first, you may do it in spoiler tags, so that your opponent doesn't see it before posting his own ingredient. If you post yours second, don't look at what your opponent posted.

If we don't get both bonus ingredients by, say, 5 pm, I'll add one (or two) of my own, chosen from an extra-hard list.

Good luck!
Daniel


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 23, 2003)

oooooh! This is going to be good!


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2003)

My Ingredient:


Spoiler



Insane Artist


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

That'll work!  Paging Wulf, Paging Wulf....

Daniel


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## Rune (Oct 23, 2003)

If Wicht is around, I'm up for a round, today.  The sooner it starts, the better, but I'd be fine with anytime today...I just won't be around to confirm it after around 4:30 or so.  No matter.

Wicht?  Do we meet again in battle?


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Wicht already checked in.  At 5:30 pm today, I'll post y'all's ingredients.

Meanwhile, I'm collecting ingredients for them.  Nem, Wulf, Mythago, Dave Turner, Cool Hand Luke, Nifft, and Macbeth, are y'all around?  If you are, each of you may send me an ingredient for this contest: just email it to siuloir at mindspring dot com.  I'll use the ingredients I get from the other contestants in the tournament to make y'all's list up (although I may edit them in order to get a coherent list).  Of course, if I don't get six ingredients, I'll pull some from my master list to fill in.

Daniel


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Folks may also post their ingredient ideas in This Thread.  *Wicht* and *Rune*, you stay out of it! 

Daniel


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## Piratecat (Oct 23, 2003)

Wulf is at work, but I've emailed him.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 23, 2003)

Here's my ingredient:



Spoiler



a paragon of perfumed foppery



I hope that meets your criteria.

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

That's perfect, *Wulf*; my original post is edited.  Good luck to both of you!
Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 23, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> That's perfect, *Wulf*; my original post is edited.  Good luck to both of you!
> Daniel




In retrospect I wish I had seen some of the ingredients before I posted mine. It was simply dredged up from my collection of "turned phrases" but seems to fit far too well with the listed choices...

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

You posted your ingredient without looking at the list of other ingredients?  Why?  I am confused.

At any rate, that one's in the list for better or worse now.  You can go and post an ingredient for Rune and Wicht if you want, though.  Make it hard!

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 23, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> You posted your ingredient without looking at the list of other ingredients?  Why?




They don't call him Wulf "Built-In Excuse" Ratbane for nuthin'.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 23, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> You posted your ingredient without looking at the list of other ingredients?  Why?  I am confused.




I entered the thread from the bottom, scrolled up, and saw that nemm's was spoiler'ed out, caught only the bottom of your post... jumped to conclusions from there, really.

No problem, though. I am just saying, I wish I'd thrown something more off the wall in there. Of course, I _thought_ that a paragon of perfumed foppery was pretty off the wall...


Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

Fair enough.  Thanks, btw, to *Piratecat* for emailing *Wulf* -- I wanted to make sure both folks saw the additional rule as quickly as possible, but I didn't want to give it away this morning.

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 23, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Wicht already checked in.  At 5:30 pm today, I'll post y'all's ingredients.




I am here and waiting.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 23, 2003)

*Wicht vs. Rune, for Third Place*

*Ingredients*
*A once-cultivated place, now wild and overgrown [courtesy Mythago]*
*Awakened Elephant [Courtesy Nemmerle]*
*Shifty Smile [tweaked, courtesy Piratecat]*
*Rat Bastard [Courtesy Wulf Ratbane]*
*Divine Intervention [Courtesy Macbeth]*
*Calm Before the Storm [Courtesy Nifft]*

Note that some of these ingredients are longer than normal; you don't have to use them verbatim. Since we had three characters and no "objects", I edited Piratecat's entry to make it more or less an object.

24 hours, no editing, good luck!  (And if you can manage to post your entries after Nem and Wulf post theirs, I'd appreciate it).

Daniel


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## BSF (Oct 24, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> If it makes you feel better, Wulf, you're all winners just for entering the tournament.
> 
> That should hold you over until tomorrow, when one of you becomes a loser anyway.
> 
> Daniel




I have got to agree on this!  I like to think of myself as clever and competent as a DM, but I cannot throw together anything remotely like this in the time frames that you people are!  

Excellent job to everybody!


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## Berandor (Oct 24, 2003)

Wow.

Miss one day of reading, and it all hits the fan!

That'll be a fine saturday afternoon reading for me, the finals.

Good luck to you all, and "Iron like a lion in Zion", folks!

Nem: I'll see whether I manage to copy/paste a RB tourney over the weekend for you 

Berandor


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 24, 2003)

I just want to verify-- I have until 4:15 EST to post my entry?


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## humble minion (Oct 24, 2003)

Wow.  I've been following the competition all the way through, and have been exercising my brain by scribbling a few 'what I would have done' notes for each set of ingredients.  And I'm pretty happy with what I've come up with in most cases, even for the playoff-for-3rd ingredient set.  But the final ingredients, for the title round - wow, they're _tough!_  To whoever wins this round, congratulations and a heaped bucketful of respect.  You have most definitely earned your title...


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## Pielorinho (Oct 24, 2003)

*Wulf*, I'd intended for both of you to have until 3:15 EDT to complete your ingredients.  I'm willing to extend it until 4:08 EDT if *Nem* is, however, assuming that's when you saw the ingredients (based on your post to the thread).

Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 24, 2003)

Since mine will be in the neighborhood of 37 pages long the more time the better. . .. 




just kidding! 

About the 37 pages - not about 4:08 being fine. . . which it is.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 24, 2003)

INGREDIENTS
Illusion of Hell -- a fey testing ground
Queen Bee -- faerie queen
Mammoth Instrument – pipe organ
Silent Killer -- a clue
Magical Sand -- pixie dust
Redemption – an exchange; less technically, the PCs must pass a test of Redemption
Insane Artist -- one of many artists trapped in Hell...
a paragon of perfumed foppery -- the Faerie Queen's love

*SCENE ONE:
The Faerie Ring*
The DM will need to tailor this first scene—the hook-- to the nature of his players. The basic setup is thus:

As the PCs are travelling outdoors, they will come across a strange encounter. Their first indication may be a low droning or buzzing sound, and eventually they will spot a ring of bright, jewelled flowers. Honeybees buzz around these flowers; the pollen collected on their legs sparkles with ruby, emerald, and diamond dust. What a hive these bees must have!

If the PCs watch closely, or long enough, they will notice that the bees do not seem to be going about their normal activity. Rather, move around the circle in an orderly fashion; their buzzing begins to sound more and more like sad music, and their movements seem more and more like a dance. Eventually, the PCs may even spot the *queen bee* amongst this group (highly unusual in and of itself).

Experienced players will probably figure out, perhaps too late, that they’ve stumbled across something fey. The DM must set his hook quickly and, admittedly, rather capriciously—but such is the nature of faeries.

The bees, and the Queen Bee, are faeries in disguise, and the PCs have stumbled across a solemn memorial.

The hook is to somehow trigger the ire or the interest of the faeries.

If the players are greedy, the DM may lure them in with vivid descriptions of the jewelled flowers; if they are curious, they may simply blunder in for a closer look. The DM may even be able to lure experienced roleplayers (who should know better!) by describing the song and the dance—it seems incomplete, as if the bees cannot figure out the next note or the next step. PCs who insist on "accompanying" the bees with song or dance will surely trigger their ire. 

If the PCs give the entire proceeding a wide berth, they will not see the Queen Bee—rather, she will arrive, full of ire, from whatever direction the PCs head, ensuring that the DM can set his hook. 

*SCENE TWO:
"A curse on careless mortals!"*
The faeries will reveal themselves, changing from bees into pixies, sprites, grigs, and an assortment of other fey shapes both beautiful and grotesque. The tiny Queen has an almost dangerous beauty—hearts will melt at her gaze. She must be loved—but it is a love borne of fear.

When the PCs disturb the faeries, the jeweled flowers will shudder and shake, and the "pollen" will fly as the faeries change shape; they create a cloud of fine, sparkling *magical sand* or dust around the PCs. 

As the PCs succumb to this pixie dust (you may go through the motions of allowing them a Will save) they will gasp and choke. As they fall to the ground they will hear the faeries singing:

_A curse on careless mortals
Who disturb our Faerie Queen
Her dirge, her dance, her sorrow
Offered solemn and serene

Now fly, damned souls, to torment:
Hell’s amaranthine fire;
From perdition, springs redemption
To quench our sovereign’s ire.

One soul alone she laments;
Redemption is your goal.
Seek out her lost beloved
And bargain for his soul._

*SCENE THREE:
A Hellish Nightmare*
The PCs are not dead; they are merely trapped in an *illusion of Hell* created by the capricious faerie Queen to test them. 

In this scene, the PCs will have to seek out the ruler of this particular scene of Hell, and bargain for the soul of the Queen’s lost love. Unfortunately, there are several souls trapped here; though the archdevil seems accommodating enough, he’s not particularly forthcoming. The Queen’s illusion will see if the PCs can figure out which soul she would want to save.

The PCs appear in a dark and shadowy college. The place seems abandoned, though the floors seem well-worn. It is warm here; but it is only through the windows that the players can see the roaring flames of Hell. Inside the halls, they seem safe enough.

The DM should allow the PCs to wander around for a while. Like a nightmare, the place has no fixed structure; it seems to change at whim. Eventually they will find a heavy wooden door, slightly ajar. If they do not enter (perhaps lingering around outside) an elderly voice will call out, "Come in already!"

The players will now meet the Headmaster. He appears as an old man, though with clearly devilish features. His white beard is long and pointed, his eyebrows are bushy and, at the tips, little wisps of smoke float up from the white hair. He has horns on his head and long fingernails.

"Oh, you don’t look like you should be here at all… What can I do for you?"

After the PCs explain their purpose, the archdevil will inform them, "I’ll play at your Queen’s game. Choose any one soul, and you may depart with it. Choose wisely and you all go free; but choose poorly and you’ll _all_ return…"

"There are many souls here, I’m afraid; all bards or artists of some kind, all worthy of a Faerie Queen’s love. Each one is *a paragon of perfumed foppery*. Unfortunately you can only choose one…"

If the PCs balk at his offer, or perhaps as they’re leaving, he’ll toss out a clue: "Your Queen seeks a _silent killer._ I’ll say no more than that."

If the DM needs to throw his PCs some action, as opposed to just "a thinking game," the archdevil may also mention, "Each of these souls is now bound to an infernal shell, I’m afraid. You will be required to… part them… before leaving." (A soul, separated from a fleshly shell will appear as a wispy ghost, hovering before the PCs so they can grab it.)

*SCENE FOUR
The Candidates*

Once again the PCs will wander the empty halls, and occasionally doors will appear. These encounters can pop up in any order.

*The Insane Artist*
Perhaps the Faerie Queen was in love with this artist, cloistered in a small cell and seated with his back to the door. He is literally bolted to a chair, his flesh stapled down in places, and pierced with hooks and chains that hold him in place before his easel. He has no brushes, merely razors and scalpels; he has no paint, merely his own blood and bile—and yet, he is compelled to paint. Unfortunately, his room is completely devoid of any subject matter save a single bowl of fruit. When the PCs enter, he’ll begin desperately cutting and clawing at himself and furiously painting a portrait of one of them, before his inspiration leaves.

If the PCs choose this creature, despite the fact that there is nothing in particular to recommend him as the "silent killer," they’ll be forced to fight a kyton.

*The Mammoth Instrument*
The PCs wander into a huge chapel with a tall domed ceiling. At the far end is a massive pipe organ, and another unfortunate artist pounds madly at the keyboard. The pipes of this organ are made from the enormous bones of some animal (sure, perhaps a mammoth…). Try as he may, however, no sound comes from the instrument. Scribbled sheet music stands before him—notes marked, scribbled out, marked again. It looks as if he has been trying to create a masterpiece, but he cannot hear the music. 

As the PCs approach, their footsteps will echo loudly through the hall. "Quiet!" the musician will scream. "Can’t you see I’m composing!" At this the musician will turn and the PCs will see that he is, in fact, decomposing. 

This creature is a horrific wight; and he does, actually, have a silent killer. If the PCs attempt to engage him, he will furiously work the pumps and slam his hands down on the low end of the scale. The resultant sub-sonics are silent and, yes, quite deadly. The blast from the pipe organ can rupture organs (though the specific deadly details are left to the DM).

*The Death Jester*
The next candidate could only be spawned by Hell itself: this performance "artist" is a mime—_ a mime of death![_ The PCs come across him in the hallway and will have trouble ridding themselves of him thereafter. He will caper and prance alongside them, annoying them with "Walking against the Wind" and "Trapped in a Box" and generally getting underfoot.

This performance artist, however, is more than meets the eye. Fitting, perhaps, for his abilities, he’s also a high-level monk, and may prove to be more than a match for the PCs—especially if the DM gives him that most feared ability of "silent killers," the Quivering Palm.

*Additional Candidates*
The DM can throw additional candidates at the PCs as he sees fit. The common theme among them all should be some sort of Perform skill.

*The Queen’s Beloved*
The PCs will find this final candidate sitting in a small dormitory room, seated before his vanity table. He is extremely handsome, and his attention is fixed upon his mirror. He will pay little attention to the PCs; he’s certainly not much of a conversationalist, preferring instead to check his perfect teeth, his perfect hair, etc.

Scattered around the room the PCs will find many love letters, some of them seemingly tossed aside, stuck under books, etc. The letters are from a variety of girls, all professing their undying love. The young man will barely take notice if the PCs show an interest in the notes ("Help yourself, I’ve got plenty...").

As they look deeper at the notes—perhaps, even, a pile of unopened letters—the PCs will discover that some of this man’s admirers threaten suicide if he does not return their love. In all likelihood, though there’s no written record of it, some of them did just that.

This candidate’s *silent killer* is unrequited love—the broken heart.

The PCs should realize that this candidate is the most suitable for the Faerie Queen, though it is clear he has no desire for redemption, even if it were possible. To choose him, however, they must separate him from his fleshly shell-- but that should not prove difficult. The only real difficulty for them now is whether or not they choose to rescue this soul from Hell, at all.

*SCENE FIVE
Conclusion*

When the PCs return to the headmaster without a soul, and ask him to return, he’ll accommodate their wishes. Likewise, if they return with a soul, correct or not, the PCs will soon awaken in the center of the faerie ring.

If the PCs chose the correct soul, they will awaken to find a reward from the faeries—a bit of gold and some minor magic items. 

If the PCs chose the wrong soul, they’ll awaken—to find themselves stripped of gear, left naked, and painted in motley colors.

If the PCs return without any soul at all, they’ll awaken to the Queen herself. She’ll ask why they have returned empty handed. If they explain to the Queen that they felt "her beloved" did not deserve to return, the Queen will laugh and disappear in a cloud of jewelled dust—leaving behind even greater riches for the PCs: gems, jewelry, and a fey- or charisma-  related magic item crafted specifically for each PC.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 24, 2003)

Sorry folks, it was a bit rushed. Turns out I am in OSX training all afternoon.

Good luck to all competitors.


Wulf


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## el-remmen (Oct 24, 2003)

Ingredients
Illusion of Hell
Queen Bee
Mammoth Instrument
Silent Killer
Magical Sand
Redemption

BONUS INGREDIENTS:
Insane Artist [Courtesy of Nemmerle]
Paragon of Perfumed Foppery [Courtesy of Wulf Ratbane]

The Court of the Queen Bee Atop the Mountain of Power

*Background:*
Not many people remember when the giants ruled the world and humans were their slaves and ogres served as their overseers, but those in the know (sages and scholars) have always wondered about that ancient empire of giants and what secrets might still be hidden from that time.  Especially since in these modern time giants have a reputation for being erratic and downright mad.  In the far northern edge of what is called the Outland, stands “The Mountain of Power” – an ancient giantish fortress made in a mountain of iron and stone.  Legend has it that the King of the Giants ruled from there and that it was the sealing of that place that led to the eventual collapse of that empire .  Over the passing millennia, groups of would be plunderers and adventures would climb the mountain and descend into one of its many cave entrances to never return; while other scholars and religious figures felt that whatever dwelt in that mountain should be let alone or else what is disturbed in there might threaten the freedom and prosperity of humanity.

However humans can never leave well enough alone.

King Foster of the Kingdom of Adantoreign has ordered a Royal Mission to explore the mountain of power and return with any lore and items of ancient magic that might be found there for use against the ogre hordes of the Kingdom of Hargh, who have been threatening the southern border for too long, and who (according to rumor) are being organized by giants (who interestingly don’t seem so crazy) who have returned from their exile.  He is also anxious for any more mundane resources to bolster the leaky coffers of the Crown.  To this extent, he has ordered the Royal Archeologist Jeremiah Simone de Gua to put together a team of adventurers to explore the place.

*Hooks*

_In Over Their Heads Scenario_: In this hook, this adventure can be used for a low (perhaps even first) level party.  Royal Archeologist Jeremiah Simone de Gua in an attempt to save money gathers a group of nobodies with promises of fame and riches.  If this is used for the kick-off adventure for a campaign, then there is little worry about getting the PCs to agree – as the group actually being put together could be a perfect way for the PCs to meet.   For a pre-existing low to mid-level group, if the promises of fame and riches don’t work, Simone de Gua, a paragon of perfumed foppery, will use a tact that would work best him, social pressure, and will attempt to blackmail the party with threats of never being hired for any job and how using his contacts and the king’s ear would make sure their reputations suffer and perhaps even an official inquiry into their past dealings and acquisition of treasure.  Of course, if he uses this method he will not endear himself to the party at all – which should make for good opportunities for role-playing along the way.

_The Some Things Are Not Meant for Men to Find Scenario_ – In this hook, the party could be pressured to accept the Royal Mission by a church official or member of a secret organization to make sure nothing _too_ powerful makes its way back into the hands of men. There are lots of legends about the magical powers of the ancient giants and the powers they worshiped and some people are scared of the results of this royal mission.

_The Veterans Scenario_ – The PCs could be veterans of adventures/skirmishes against ogres and their modern giant masters and thus are sought out for their expertise on the subject - and of course for their loyalty to the crown.

_The ‘We Just Want to Steal Stuff’ Scenario_ – Less reputable PCs could be contacted by a rival nation or a thieves guild to go along with the mission (using favors and deceit to get them hired) – but the idea is to use the king’s resources to bring back stuff to be sold to the highest bidder, or to be used against the Kingdom of  Adantoreign.


*The Journey to the Mountain of Power*

The DM can make the Journey to the Mountain of Power as eventful or uneventful as he likes, but I recommend having at least one or two small “random encounters” to allow for a chance for Royal Archeologist Jeremiah Simone de Gua’s personality to shine under extreme duress so that they know what they are in for.   One possible encounter could be with a group of ogre mercenaries sent from the Kingdom of Hargh to stop them (spies having discovered of the mission).  It is always fun to outfit a group of “classed” ogres.  Jeremiah Simone de Gua is a total fop and armchair archeologist (exp6/LN) who has no real field experience.  He gained his position through political chicanery and nepotism – and really thinks he will prove himself here (he is self-deluded).  However, he will constantly complain about the conditions on the road, the lack of proper facilities, have a servant who accompanies him and carries a golden chamber pot, and he has at least three bottles of different kinds of perfume.  He will often refuse to become involved in combat, “_that’s your job!_ he will insist.  However, he _is_ extremely intelligent and well-read and despite his foppishness and overly-fine and inappropriate clothing and gear, and his ridiculous miserliness (he has the cheapest quality of anything that is not a personal belonging and any equipment he requisitioned for the party), he does have the potential to become a strong character who aids the party in the trials to come.  The key to this NPC should be “growth” and how the PCs deal with him will do a lot to determine if he remains a spoiled whining brat, or whether he rises to the occasion and show the mettle that earned his ancestors their noble title and lands (the latter of which his older brother squandered in gambling).

Another possible “side” encounter, could take place as the group enters the mountains.  They can come across an aurumvorax lair, and Jeremiah Simone de Gua’s greed and miserliness might lead him to order the party to help him slay it for its hide.  Needless to say such a dangerous creature is not easily handled – and it would do well to enlighten the party as to the Archeologist’s demeanor, and also chasten that demeanor a bit as he realizes the dangers of the outside world.

Another “encounter” the party should have as they approach the mountain is a field of impossibly huge summer flowers.


*The Mountain of Power*

Old school Gygaxian dungeons inspire the Mountain of Power.   It is the site of an ancient underground giant fortress/city/castle now home to a variety of creatures that have taken over various portions of the dungeon.  The inside of the mountain is honey-combed (and in some cases, literally (see below)) with a great number of huge tunnels, ramps stairways, chambers and avenues that once housed giants.  Among these can be found a variety of treasures, both magic and mundane (if ancient giantish treasures of any sort can be called mundane), that the party and the archeologist can collect, along with a great deal of lore.  However, much like those dungeons of past the level of danger in various areas varies, and unlike those dungeons of old, I have tried to pay attention to the ecology of the place.

Obviously, I cannot provide a map of such a place of huge scope, but I hope to describe some of the key area – including the throne room/audience chamber of the Giant King, where the great encounter will take place (if the PCs get that far).  The mountain is pockmarked with entrances, so the PCs will have a choice about at what level they want to enter the mountain of power.  However, one thing is clear.  It is unusually quiet in the area around the mountain, and those with wilderness lore skills (or knowledge: nature) would note that it seem there is little or no normal animal life immediately around the bald mountain.  There is a forest of immense redwood trees about the mountain however, starting about a half mile from the base of it.

The unnatural feeling of the mountain comes from the diabolic nature of forces used to power Castor’s illusions (see the nest/audience chamber) and the creatures that can be found here as a result should all have the _fiendish_ template applied to them.

*The Lowest Levels:* The lowest levels of the Mountain of Power are home to several colonies (2 to 5) of fiendish monstrous spiders (both large and huge in size).  They survive from hunting not only each other, but mostly by hunting the fiendish monstrous bee-men and catching those that wander down into the lower levels.   Among the lower levels and the spider colonies can be found the now cold forges of the giants.  Here is a great source of unused ore (the logistics of which to carry out of there should be a nightmare for the PCs).  There can also be found literally tons of giant-size breast plates, shield, spearheads, swords, axes and other weapons, along with metal wheels, rods tools and the molds for making them.  

There can also be found in these levels, vats of stones that were being ground to sand in the midst of a great ritual circle.  While none of the partially made vats detect as magical, it was here that the _magical sand_ the giants used for their building projects was made and enchanted.  Examination of the vats will show a slaughter block suspended over the vats with sluices for blood to run down into the vats.  The stains of blood and bits of bone should still be visible up there.  The old and infirmed (and disobedient) slaves were sacrificed here as part of the magic.  

The magic sand was used to move large slabs of stone and seal them together in the massive building projects of the giants.  Anything dragged over an application of the stone is considered to be three-fifths as much as it really weighs.  And stones set together with it, gain an increase of 2 points of hardness and 5 points per inch of thickness.   Here is another resource that King Foster would love to have for the war.  Working batches of the sand can be found in other areas of the Mountain of Power (see below).

Trapped in some of these working areas are poisonous gases released over time from the ore and carbons of the place.  This _silent killer_ (silent in more ways than one – since the spiders avoid this area) is most concentrated at the bottom of poorly sealed shafts where the human slaves were once lowered to scrape the ore from the mines below the mountain.  These unintentionally traps of rotten and warped wood collapse when 200 lbs or more are place on them (reflex save (DC 16) to leap aside) for drops of various depths (from 20' to 80').  At the bottom of these shafts can be found the skeletal remains (mostly dust) of human slaves (the DM can through in some skeleton undead for higher level parties – since those who fall may have to face them alone).  Some of the skeletons are wearing rotting masks that if worn give a +2 circumstance bonus to the save versus the poison.  Among the bones can also be found magical amulets that detect as abjuration.  The amulets hold the symbol for protection from madness.  (see the audience chamber below).

The poison gas once inhaled for one minute requires a save (DC 16) or lose 1 CON and then a secondary save one minute later or lose another 1d3 CON.  The save must be made every 10 minutes someone is in the gas.  

*The Middle Levels:* Among these levels can be found what were once the sleeping quarters, dining rooms, kitchens and other living areas.  

These areas are home to a small tribe of goblins (not fiendish) who worship their chief, a greater barghest.  The goblins live and die by his word, and go on excursions throughout the Mountain of Power to find magical items, kill the bee-men (in an on-going struggle for control of the upper levels) and hunt the spiders of the lower level for food.  The goblins also make hunting excursions out to the forest beyond the mountain to hunt for normal animal meat as even their normal willingness to eat anything is tested by the foul fiendish ichor of the spiders.  The barghest wants them to eat the foul meat as part of its plan to have a whole tribe of fiendish goblins.   He also wants to recruit more goblins from the surrounding area under his black flag.

This area of the mountain is important because it gives the PCs someone to possibly communicate with.  The barghest will see the party as a possible pawn in its struggle to gain more power, and if the possibility presents itself it will portray the bee-men and their queen in the worst of all possible evils – and encourage them to go defeat them.  Of course, he will keep close tabs on the party using a crystal ball he scavenged from this place.  Of course, he will try to _charm_ the weakest willed person in the group (perhaps Jeremiah Simone de Gua).

There should also be a great amount of ancient giant coinage to be found here as the goblins have been hoarding it.

*Tomb of the Kings*: Somewhere on the way up to the upper levels is the Tomb of the Kings.  This immense chamber is the size of an enter cross-section of the mountain, and it floor is covered in the sand that was used build the walls of the various biers and vaults and sepulchers.   The goblins and bee-men avoid this area for even they fear the dark power that can be found there.   Among the maze of vaults shamble ogre zombies that were sealed in here with their dead masters and have broken free from some of the crypts.   There are also the preserved skeletons of mammoths propped up near those that once used them as war-beasts.  (The mammoths were the most common animal used by the giants of old for war, food and labors – but now are long extinct).  The DM may also want to add a mad giant wight (use a fire giant as the basis for it) that has been trapped in here for centuries (you can add some wight spawn of former adventurers too for the sake of verisimilitude and depending on the level you run this for.)

In the center of the Tomb of Kings is a *mammoth harp*.  Sized for a giant, its frame is carved of mammoth bone and the strings are made of some black metal and shine pristinely.  It detects as powerful necromantic magic.   Playing the harp at all summons all the undead on this level. They immediately begin to attack all living things.  This includes two giant ju-ju zombies preserved in the dirt floor.  Also the mammoth skeletons become animated (used dire elephant stats and apply a skeletal undead template).  However, if the harp is played by someone with the perform skill in harp (at  -2 circumstance penalty per size category smaller than large) who can make a perform check (DC 18) can control the undead as long as it is played (and for a number of rounds afterward equal to their Charisma modifier).  The harp can be used to control/animate up to 60 HD of undead.   

This powerful item should create a moral quandary for the party, since it is would be very useful for the war against the ogres and their giant masters, but is dark purpose and use would have most good characters balk.

The tomb should also test the PCs willingness to start smashing open vaults to collect heirlooms and other treasures that might be found within (and possibly more undead).  This place should be quite haul for the PCs in terms of expensive artifacts and giantish minor magical items, but the more they delve the more dangerous it should become.

In addition, samples of the magical sand discovered in the lower levels can be found in 100 lb sacks near the areas that do not seem to have quite been finished. 

*The Upper Levels/Honeycomb*:  The upper level of the Mountain of Power is home to a hive of fiendish bee-like creatures.   This area of the complex should fill the PCs with awe, for the large halls and chambers of the Royal Quarters have been filled with the sticky honeycomb material of bees, to create tunnels that twist off in every direction and at varying sizes.  Traveling through here should be treacherous and difficult, especially when the party comes across the worker bees and then eventually the warrior drone bees.  As these creatures share a hivemind, the entire colony will quickly be alerted to their presence, and the DM should play up the feeling of desperation and being hunted.  The drones will also set up ambushes in places where groups of them can attack from more than one direction (even above).


The stats for this race of fiendish bee-men are easily enough converted from the stats for the giant bee in the 1st ed. Monster Manual 2 (I could not find anything appropriate in any 3E source I have on print or online).  The workers should be 2d8 hit dice and do 1d3 damage with their stinger, which has a mild poison (DC 14; Damage: 1 Dex/1d2 Dex).  However, the workers being the most plentiful and expendable of the colony then lose 1d4 points of Con a round after stinging until they die.  The drones have 4 HD and do 1d6 points of damage with their sting, but the poison is a bit stronger (DC 16; Damage: 1d2 Dex/1d4 Dex).  The poison causes victims to swell up painfully and turn a blackish shade of purple.  The drones also use short spears (being able to attack with both the sting and the spear), which are made entirely of woody plant material.  This is in addition to whatever fiendish qualities they possess.  And of course, they can fly.

The PCs may actually have to smash through honeycomb walls to examine the contents of the chambers up in this area.  The stuff has a hardness of 4 and 5 hit points per inch of thickness.   Clever PCs may see this entire immense beehive as another possible resource for their kingdom and the war effort.  If they can figure out a way to collect the large amounts of honey on a regular basis they can help feed soldiers without taxing the farmers of the kingdom too much.  However, remember the source of this sweet stuff is fiendish – so whatever effect it might have on those that eat it could make for a whole other adventure.

The chambers themselves should be galleries of statues of iron and gold, a war room with a bas-relief map of this area of the world as it looked over a 1000 years ago.  This huge map could be another resource for those wily PCs looking for more than gold and magic to win the growing war.  It might show passages and passes that have not been discovered yet by the humans that could be used to ambush or block approaching ogrish armies.  It might show the locations of other ancient sites to be looted.  It might show possible locations for headquarters for those giants in the south leading the ogre hordes that would be targets for pre-emptive attack.

The upper levels are haunted by the ghost of an *insane artist*, a human (see _Backstory Redux_ below).  He cannot affect physical reality and his insanity makes it difficult to communicate with him as he will buzz, shriek, speak in ancient common, giantish, sing and just act bizarre.  But most of all he will when at his most “sane” beg for the PCs to not go to the audience chamber and to ”not seek *redemption* for my sake”. (see below)

*The Audience Chamber/Court of the Queen Bee*

This chamber sits on the planed off top of the mountain that is unreachable from the outside (except by flight).  It is here that the past and the present eerily mix.  This round, domed chamber should be well guarded by bee drones, and up upon the dais (mildewed thrones now cast in a corner) is the *Queen Bee*. 

The queen bee is the center of the hivemind, and while basically motionless (speed 5’), she should have reach with her huge and dangerous stinger (does 3d4 damage; poison (DC 17), damage: 1d6 Dex/1d8 Dex).  She has 8 hit dice.  This is in addition to her fiendish qualities.   The larvae present here have 1 HD, no poison and do a 1 hp bite.

This chamber’s domed ceiling has seven scenes made of incredible detailed statues resting in niches just above the dome’s support.  In each scene there is a depiction of one of the classic forms of torture and suffering from Hell.  (The DM is free to make up his own, or can use the classical ones from Greek mythology).

*Backstory (Redux):* Aloisisus of the Divine Hand was one of the last Giant King’s most favored and pampered human slaves.  Known for his incredible artistic ability in all areas (painting, sculpture, poetry, song) it was said that he must have had a divine hand – but the truth is he had a hand guided by infernal forces.  For he was the tool by which the Dukes of Hell that the giants worshipped caused the giants’ empire to collapse – for all contracts even (or perhaps _especially_) infernal ones expire.   


Aloisisus was given the task of creating diorama of statues for the audience chamber, and he did, knowing that it would be the last piece of art he ever made.  Aloisisus was also involved in the cause for freedom of the human race from their giant slave masters, so even as he created the statues as instructed by infernal dreams, he also worked on a way to make his own people immune to the evil powers that would be unleashed (thus the amulets that could be found on some of the human remains).  The desire to do good and the influence of evil on his soul began to drive the already eccentric Aloisisus increasingly mad.  When the statues were done and unveiled and their true purpose revealed, he forgot to where one of the amulets he had made on sleepless nights and was effected by the statuary as well.

Each of the scenes has carved upon it permanent _symbols_ of madness.  Those who enter the chamber will become immediately effected and trigger the *illusion of hell*. 

The drones having fought things in here before will try to hold off on entering combat, choosing to simply surround the queen waiting for the illusion/insanity to take effect.  (A combination of their hivemind and their fiendish nature makes the immune to the effect).  The DM should build the tension here, having the statues seem to move from the corner of their eyes, perhaps hearing the distant screams of prolonged suffering, and smelling the scent of brimstone and sulfur beneath the sickly sweet smell of the honeycomb.    These elements increase until the chamber becomes the illusion of an area of hell, the statue scenes come to life.   While the insanity this causes is like the insanity spell (i.e. confusion) the DM should describe the effects not in pure mechanical terms, but create extensions of the illusion that make the randomly determined action make sense.  It the fiendish power behind these illusions that causes the insanity, and that has permeated this place.  Of course, the fiendish bees flying in and out of the illusion will make it all the more maddening.

Examples are: if forced to attack a friend he might suddenly appear as a fiend or a bee-man.  If forced to wander away one could hear the voice of an old love suffering at the hands of a devil, etc…

The insanity here is infectious, and spending time with an unprotected person will expose them to the mental disease (Will save, DC 20).  It has an incubation period of 1d8 days.  Those infected believe that hell is growing on earth, but one must actually try to talk and reason with an infected person for 10 minutes to risk infection.  

Over 1000 years ago when the statues were revealed the madness affected the giant king and his court, causing chaos and leading to the giants beginning to slaughter each other.  Other giants left the Mountain of Power infected by the insanity and began to slaughter others and as others came back to the mountain to mountain to investigate they were infected as well, until the giant empire began to come apart.  The slaves in the mountain protected by the amulets were able to escape and slowly bring slaves in other parts of the empire into hiding, living a kind of feral savage life until most of the giants were gone – and then they emerged to become the dominant race.

Just as the time of the giants has past, the infernal dukes who made a deal with Aloisisus have come to collect on the time of the humans.  The PCs by coming here are acting as the catalyst for the on-going cycle.  If they become insane and flee this place, they will bring the infectious insanity back to civilization.  (_Note: The giants that are leading the ogre hordes in the south are the first generation of giants to be wholly free of the insanity_.)

The “redemption” the ghost of Aloisisus talks about is not spiritual redemption, but rather aid he gained in bringing down the giant kingdom is now being _redeemed_ by the Dukes of Hell in the form of bringing down the human kingdom(s).  The PCs may make the terrible error of thinking they are somehow redeeming the mad ghost by seeking out that chamber (how is that for a rat bastardly twist?).

While destroying the statues will keep others from coming here and becoming infected, it will not cure those already infected and because of a clause in the contract, open a gate to Hell which will allow a team of barbezu (2-4) to come through.

Destroying the stone statues will be harder than usual as they were made with help of the magical sand (see lower levels) and samples of the magical sand can still be found in clumps in the rear of the niches.

*Conclusion(s)*

Obviously, this huge site needs to be populated with more specific encounters and objects to be found, any of which can lead to a large number of possible consequences.

Depending on what scenario you choose as a hook there could be a variety of consequences for the taking of various items and objects described in the adventure - in particular the _magic sand_ and the _mammoth instrument_.

Of course, the consequences of the infection of insanity are the most worrisome – but if this adventure is used as the set-up for a campaign the growing insanity might make a great backdrop.  Adventuring during the turning of the great cycle of history should make for a memorable campaign.

Crafty PCs may even suggest a plan by which the giant leaders of the ogre hordes could be tricked into going to the Mountain of Power themselves and becoming insane – thus staving off the cycle for some more generations.


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## el-remmen (Oct 24, 2003)

Oh crap!  I forgot the minor detail that the tall flowers mentioned in the beginning are where the bee-men pollenate/feed (part of the whole ecology of the place). 

Oh well, shouldn't make a difference.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 24, 2003)

Place holder for judgment of Wulf vs. Nem.
Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 24, 2003)

*Wicht vs Rune – Iron DM entry*

*Ingredients*
*A once cultivated Place, now wild and Overgrown* – _The garden maze in the old Ogathym Estate, overgrown and wild, but still a maze_
*Awakened Elephant* – _Ellie, she hires the PCs to investigate the “Rats” in Kilman and Kulook’s Two Ring Circus_
*Shifty Smile* –_Rubert Kilman’s most noticeable trait.  _
*Rat Bastartd* – _Jenri Ogathym.  The illegitimate son of Rubert Kilman, seeking revenge for a life of heartaches.  Also a wererat and the cleric of the God of Vengeance._
*Divine Intervention* – _Jenri’s deity has intervened in his life in the past.  He will again.  Jenri will get the vengeance he desires._
*Calm before the storm* – _The period of time right before the night of vengeance.  Everything is calm and serene.  Things go smoothly for everyone.  And then the nightmare begins for Rubert Kilman._

*note:*_ Due to the fact that the ingredients have already been explained, they will not be highlighted in the adventure.  They are all in there though._

*Rats, Cats and an Elephant*

_This is an adventure for low level PCs, probably about 5th level, though with some tweaking it can be adjusted for other levels.  High level PCs with a greater access to divination magic may not have as enjoyable a time with this adventure.  The adventure contains a great deal of detective work and roleplaying opportunities.  PCs who cannot think without their sword will be soon frustrated.  On the other hand, the climax contains enough action to make the more gung-ho type of heroes happy._

*PC Introduction:*  The PCs receive an anonymous note along with some money and half a map.  The note, written in a neat and precise hand reads as follows: _Greetings Brave Sirs!  I am happy to have heard of you and your skill.  There is a matter which I wish you to look into.  Recent events in the Kilman and Kulook Circus warrant attention.  Specifically the untimely death of the Notable and Wise Giorgery Beechstaff.  Furthermore there have been several unnerving incidents and personality shifts.  Who is at the bottom of it I cannot say but I am willing to pay handsomely for a discreet inquiry.  The circus, currently in town, is currently looking for more workers and I wish you to seek employment within.  In addition to the sum already advanced you with this note I am willing to pay 5 gp a day expenses per person for as long as the investigation takes.  On top of this, I will offer the sum of 500 gold coins per person when the person at the bottom of the current problems is uncovered.  Furthermore, I have in my possession a map to a lost treasure, one half of which I have copied and included with this note.  The other half of the map is yours when and if you can complete this job.  For reasons of my own, I must remain anonymous but rest assured that I am a part of the circus as well and will know if and when you are doing this job._

*Background*  The map is genuine as is the job offer.  It is the employer who is slightly different.  A Trio of awakened animals in the circus are behind the offer, knowing that something is wrong in the circus.  The fact that these animals are intelligent is a secret known only to them and their former companion, the Druid Giorgery Beechstaff.  The three animals are as follows:  Maxine, a Tigress with levels in Barbarian, Rook, a Monkey with levels in Rogue and Ellie, an Elephant with levels in Expert.  Though not a Rogue, Elly’s skills include picking pockets and locks and she is an accomplished pickpocket, better even then Rook.  These three animals had adventured with Giorgery until the druid decided to retire.  They had then assisted him in an animal show in the circus.   Recently, Giorgery died unexpectedly and his animal companions suspect he was poisoned (which he was).  Elly, the brains of the three, has also noticed that there have been some personality changes in the circus and these changes bother her.  Thus she has decided to hire the PCs.  Ellie wrote the note and Rook delivered it, completely unseen.  The animals, through their adventuring and through Ellie and Rooks pick-pocketing have the money.  It is hidden in Ellie’s wagon.  They also have a map, which can be to whereever the DM wants it to be.

The circus is an odd collection of individuals.  Many of the performers were at one time adventurers and they have a wide assortment of skills.  Some of the other performers are humanoids who find acceptance in the circus which they would not get elsewhere in civilized lands.  For many years this circus has wandered the countryside, performing and making a good living for those in it.  Originally founded by Rupert Kilman and his partner Maladic Kulook, the circus has been entirely run by Rupert since Maladic’s death a decade ago.  Rupert is a rather shifty fellow who thinks of himself as a conniving huckster but the truth is, he has a good heart and always ends up treating his people well.   Recently however trouble has struck.  There have been several unexplained deaths and there is talk of a curse following the show.  

The trouble is actually the result of actions being taken by Rupert’s illegitimate son, Jenri Ogathym.  Rupert does not know he has a son, and it is likely he remembers little about Rupert’s mother, who never told Rupert her name (nor the fact that she was the heiress of a large estate).  The brief dalliance, which occurred thirty years in the past, had far reaching consequences for Jenri.  His mother, having bore him out of wedlock, was publicly humiliated and almost disowned.  In the end she killed herself while Jenri was a teenager, leaving her boy badly scarred.  Soon after her death, the family went bankrupt, losing everything but the title to their family home.  Jenri blamed Rupert, whom he had never meant.  As is often the case, Jenri tried to make money as an adventurer in order to reestablish his family fortune.  His luck stayed bad though and he almost was killed in a sewer fighting wererats.  As he lay dying and sick, deep in a fever, he promised his soul to the dark lord of vengeance if he would be given a chance to kill his father before he died.  The god stepped in and in a vision promised Jenri a chance if he would serve as the gods cleric.  The fever left Jenri and he found himself a lycanthrope in full control of his powers.  He then set off on a mission of vengeance.  

After some searching Jenri found his father’s circus and managed to gain employment as a trapeze artist.  Since that time he has begun to work a dreadful plan.  His goal is to turn the entire circus against his father and then in the midst of his family estate, with all of his father’s former friends watching and approving, he will sacrifice his father to his god.

Jenri does not know about the animals.  He did recognize the druid Giorgery as a danger to his plans and so poisoned him.  He has also slowly been infecting members of the circus with lycanthropy and thus is “turning” them to his side.  The circus is scheduled to stop at the village in which the abandoned Ogathym estate sits in two weeks, coincidentally right at the full moon, and Jenri will have turned a majority of the performers into wererats by that time.

*Joining the Circus* If the PCs approach Rupert he will immediatelly try to hire them before they even ask.  He is looking for performers and guards.  There have been three deaths in the last year and he is starting to get nervous.  PCs though will get the odd idea he’s trying to pull a fast one on them as he talks.  But that’s just his way.  Let the PCs join in any act they think would be fun, though they may have to work with other performers who are already  in the show.

*The Circus Personas (a partial list)*
*Rupert Kilman*  Expert 4, NG.  The Owner.  Rupert’s late partner was an illusionist and a showman.  Rupert has always been the man behind the business aspect of the circus.  Rupert has a shifty smile and likes to think that he has a quick mind.  His trouble is that his face projects every sneaky thought he ever has.  PCs should immediately suspect Rupert of something.  Everyone else does.  Truth be told, Rupert is a softhearted man who cares about those who work for him and often (in secret) overpays or gives those in trouble an anonymous gift.  He hates to think that anyone might suspect this though and so puts on his shifty front.  He suspects there might be something wrong going on in the circus but is not sure from where.

*Jenri Ogathym*  LE, Wererat Rog3/Cle4; Domains (Death, Trickery) maxed out ranks in Perform, Tumble, Climb and Balance.  Jenri presents himself to the public as a quiet, soft spoken man with a penchant for small kind acts.  He is very private and rarely shows much emotion.  However, when preaching to his “flock” he presents a different front.  He is passionate, filled with hate and full of vile 
platitudes.  He is skilled enough on the trapeze and as an acrobat.  He also knows a good
 bit more than is healthy about poisons and slit throats.  Jenri is intelligent and quick to assess any threats and the best way to deal with them.  He will not do anything to jeopardize his plans until the night of the full moon.  He might however send minions to kill any threats to his plans.

*Ellie the Elaphant* CG, Exp5; Pick pockets +12(8), Pick locks +9(8), Move Silently +9(8); Skill Focus (Pick pockets).  Ellie the elephant is the ringleader of a trio of awakened animals.  When the PCs start investigating the circus, she will try to get close to them without giving herself away as intelligent.  She often teases people by lifting items off of them and then giving them back hours later.  Ellie and her companions Rook (Monkey Rog5) and Maxine (Tiger Bar5) are worried about the circus.  None of the three can speak, but all understand several languages and both the elephant and monkey can write.  The three animals will try to help the investigation without being too obvious in what they are trying to do.  Because of their nature, a speaks with animal spell will not work on the three which may be a give away.  The animals currently work with Hullik (Gnome Rgr1/Exp2) who they like but whom they do not trust with their secrets.

*Kiisa Kulook, Female Human Ill4, NG*.  Theoretically Kiisa is half owner of the circus.  The daughter of Rupert’s former partner Kiisa inherited half the circus when her father died.  In practice Rupert acts as if he owns the whole thing and Kiisa lets him.  She puts on a show full of illusions and magic, some slieght of hand but many genuine illusions as well.  Kiisa is rumored to want to control things but she is satisfied to let Rupert run things while he lives.  Jenri has a slight crush on Kiisa, plans to convert her before the big night, and then run the show with her at his side.

*Margy, human Brd1:*  The fortune teller.  About 50 years old, Margy is having an affair with Rupert.  She is also engaged in fencing stolen goods from one town in the next town they visit.  She has contacts in several thieves guilds around the countryside

*Deolblog, Dwarf Bar4; Str 19.*  The strongman.  He has at times past been an adventurer.  Now however he works once a day in shows, using his rage to help him lift inordinate amounts of weight.  He has a slight problem with gambling and Rupert has advanced him paychecks more than once to cover debts.

*Harthguk, Goblin Bar1/Exp2, Perform +5, CG.*  The geek.  Harthguk was kicked out of his clan for being too nice but he found a home with Rupert.  Now he puts on an act of savagery a few times a night and eats a few raw chickens (which he personally enjoys tastewise).  Nobody in the show though considers him anything less than a wonderful person.  He is a little bit lazy but always glad to lend a hand if the work is not to ardious.  He has a great fondness for hot tea (preferably in china saucers).

*The clowns*  The clowns are an assortment of 20 halflings, gnomes and humans who put on various comedy routines during the show.  The sad truth is that all of them have been wererats for months and are completely loyal to Jenri.  They only show this loyalty at night when they meet with him.  During the day, if asked they will be noncommittal towards Jenri or just say, “he’s nice enough I suppose.”  Some of them may be sent to attack the PCs if the PCs get too close to the truth

there are of course others and they may be created to suit.  The circus has a fat lady, a snake charming lizardman, a full trapeze act, several animal shows (including Ellie and her friends), a horse review, jugglers, fire eaters, a kobold contortionist, and dozens of other exotic and/or magical shows.  Many of the performers have done time adventuring and will happily regal the PCs with tales of why they quit that life.

*The Payment*
If the PCs join the circus, they will find each morning, a small sack with the correct amount of daily gold left for them.  Rook will do the leaving, attempting not to be caught doing so.  If the PCs start watching, the monkey will make paying them something of a game.  Paying them each day at different times without getting caught.  The monkey is generally out of his cage and it is common to see him anywhere in the circus.  It is something of a joke about Rook getting out of locked cages, though he has never been caught picking the lock.

*The plot*  As the two weeks until the next full moon pass, Jenri will slowly start to attack the performers and pass on his lycanthropy.  He prefers to attack under cover of darkness and not allow his nature to be seen.  He is not interested in killing, just in passing on the infection of lycanthropy.  Those that turn are completely under his control in their wererat form and do his bidding.  Many will not remember this afterwards at first.  Gradually however they will become completely wererats day and night.  

Jenri plans on kidnapping Rupert on the night of the full moon and then with his followers take Rupert to the Ogathym estate to sacrifice him.

*The clues*
The PCs will have ample time to learn the identity of each person in the circus.  As they do so, they should pick up bits and pieces of information, that if they were aware of them would clue them in.  Jenri Osathym is known to be of noble but illegitimate birth.  Rupert had a reputation for lechery in earlier days.  Dire rats have been seen in numbers around the circus at times.  Of course Jenri will do his best to mislead the PCs if he gathers they are getting too close.  He will send them chasing dire rats into the tents of innocents.  He will plant clues pointing to Margy’s fencing activities and Deolblog’s gambling addiction and other such red herrings.

There is also an unspoken tension growing in the show.  Most of the performers feel something is happening but they don’t know what.  Some of them look at the clowns darkly, but unsure why they are afraid of clowns all of a sudden.

*The Calm before the Storm*
The day before the full moon everything seems to be going great at the circus.  Those that were sick from bites grow suddenly well and have a good appetite.  There are no problems, the weather is calm, and even the animals are unusually cooperative.  When darkness comes though the calm is shattered as the wind begins to pick up, rain begins to fall and a scream fills the night.

*Divine Intervention*
There is no way for the adventurers to prevent the climax from occuring.  Jenri’s god will step in and make sure Jenri gets a chance for his vengeance.  If the PCs try and stop the kidnapping, having discovered it already, then whatever is necessary happens to prevent them from stopping it.  If they try and chase Jenri before he can get to the estate, their horses go lame.  If they are on their way to talk to Rupert at the time of the kidnapping, a stranger accosts them and won’t let them escape his conversation.  Divine Intervention does not have to be direct, it will often be subtle but it will be there.  Even to the extreme of spells failing and PCs suddenly fainting.  

Jenri’s god promised him a chance at vengeance and though evil, he keeps his word.

*The Climax* 
Margy, the fortune teller, finds Rupert’s wagon broken into and Rupert gone.  Investigation shows that Rupert has been forcibly taken away.  

A major rain storm breaks as the PCs try to follow the trail and continues until either Jenri or his father is dead.  

The trail will lead any following it to the dark and abandoned estate outside of town.  There are ghouls now on the estate and other foul things, but the wererats and their priest have taken Rupert into the middle of the old garden maze.  This hedge, once so beautiful, is now wild.  The PCs will have to find or hack their way through, attacked at every turn by dire rats, wererats and perhaps even an evil imp or two.  Finally in the center they will be confronted with the truth as Jenri proclaims his heritage to all who care to listen and prepares to drive a knife into his hated fathers heart.  Of course to stop Jenri'’ insane babbling and the knife, they will have to fight the circus performers who are now wererats.

*Conclusion*Ellie and her companions are true to their word and will pay the PCs what they promised.  If the PCs have not discovered their secret the three friends will continue to pay from anonimity.  If the circus is destroyed the animals will likely seek their fortune on their own, in the wild.  If the PCs have discovered their secret, it is possible the animals will want to accompany them to follow the map they now hand over.

*OR Alternately*This adventure might be fun as a one shot with the PCs being those already working in the circus.  Perhaps they are one of the animals, or the dwarf strongman, or one of the clowns, etc.


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## el-remmen (Oct 24, 2003)

Berandor said:
			
		

> Nem: I'll see whether I manage to copy/paste a RB tourney over the weekend for you
> 
> Berandor




Cool.  If you do - just make sure you post to that thread and claim one before you start - just so we avoid two people doing the same work twice. 

Thanks.


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## Rune (Oct 24, 2003)

*Ingredients
A once-cultivated place, now wild and overgrown
Awakened Elephant
Shifty Smile
Rat Bastard
Divine Intervention
Calm Before the Storm*

_This scenario is designed as an introductory adventure for first-level characters.  It is mildly epic in scope and assumes at least somewhat heroic characters are playing through it, although this is not necessarily mandatory.  Indeed, the adventure may be quite fun if the PCs are not at all trustworthy._

Entropy

Decades ago a wizard lived, with an adventurous spirit.  Always, he searched for the unknown, exploring and marveling.  This wizard, Frost, by name, went far into the East once and, what he found there shook him to his soul.  Why or what that could have been, only Frost knew, but he returned from the East with a new god.  Literally--although he didn’t know it.  Frost had found something special in the strange religions of the East and built a temple to some strange Elephant-God.  His temple was unusual, designed as a hedge-maze with magnificent fountains and evenly-paved foot-paths.  Indeed it was a thing of peace and beauty and, consequently, Frost named his temple the Garden.

But then something happened that Frost had not counted upon.  He died, and the Garden was overgrown.

With the death of Frost, tales began to abound of a great fortune lost in the depths of his Garden, for few could truly believe that the man would be given over to such a bizarre religion.  Surely there was some other purpose for the Garden.  Rumors began to flourish all the more when pilgrims from the East began to make their way into the Garden.  What they did there, none could say, but some believed that they were looking for some treasure, and others believed that they were protecting some treasure.  Both beliefs were, in fact, accurate, but the nature of the treasure could not be guessed at.  The pilgrims sought their God, spirited away unwittingly by Frost in the form of what he thought was a statue, and failing that, set tests upon the paths of the Garden to insure that only the righteous would find their God.

The PCs could be drawn to the Garden for any number of reasons, but the allure of treasure is probably the strongest.  Even if the PCs have worshippers of nature in their ranks, this particular religion would appear mostly alien to them, if they even hear word of it.  Upon arriving at the Garden, they will see *a once-cultivated place, now wild and overgrown*, once a hedge-maze, now a labyrinth.  Upon entering the Garden, a Magic Mouth will open before them on the ground and say, in an exotic accent:

“Walk the paths of a thousand smiles, but stray only where you must.  He who would wake the Elephant must first find, and then trust.”

Whatever the mouth means is not forthcoming, and, with a smirk, it closes into the ground again.  As the PCs travel the paths of the Garden, they will meet many such Magic Mouths, each with a different cryptic remark and a different, *shifty smile*.  Each remark is a variation on the first, saying the same thing in a different way.  They are mostly designed to infuriate and frustrate the person walking the paths.

The Garden has another quality, another test.  As the PCs (and other folk within the labyrinth) travel through its passages, the over-grown walls writhe and mesh and twist apart and new paths open while old ones close.  This makes mapping a useless endeavor.

Somewhere within the Labyrinth, the PCs will likely run across a creature that resembles a cross between a rat and a human by the name of Rededieb.  Rededieb will assert a great many things, but one is that he is of a race called “ratling,” a race that cannot shift shapes as can lycanthropes.

In truth, Rededieb is as sly as they come.  He wears always a *shifty smile* on his face, but it is hollow and ever-changing.  He could talk his way into a dungeon and back out again without even breaking a sweat.  He is Lawful Evil and as self-serving and deceitful as that implies.  If ever asked about his goals, he will say that he is looking for answers in life.  This may or may not be true.  If ever asked about his past, he will say that he is atoning for past misdeeds.  This may or may not be true.  If ever asked about his family, he will say that he never knew his father and his mother died early in his life.  This may or may not be true.  Simply put, everything the rat-bastard says must be taken with a grain of salt.  Rededieb is a wererat, but almost always remains in hybrid-form, claiming that it is his only form and that he is of the race of “ratlings” (see nezumi in Oriental Adventures), which may or may not truly exist.  Rededieb has two levels in Rogue, with a focus on oratory skills and should be considered an accomplished liar.

Rededieb is looking for the “treasure” within the labyrinth, rumored to be beyond measure.  If possible, he will attempt to accompany the PCs as they seek it out (for such he will believe them to be doing, despite any claims to the contrary).  Whether or not Rededieb accompanies the PCs, he intends to travel in their footsteps, so to speak.  He has become hopelessly lost and is desperately hoping that the PCs will be able to find a way through the labyrinth where he has not.  In addition, Rededieb plans to ambush the PCs if they actually do find the treasure, though he hopes that they will lead him out of the labyrinth first.  Essentially, he is a deceitful *rat-bastard*.

Finally, the PCs may actually come across the Statue of the Elephant, thought by Frost to be an idol, but in fact, actually a petrified avatar standing atop a pedestol.  There are no Magic Mouths in the presence of the statue, for the pilgrims never found the statue, but the writhing nature of the labyrinth makes it possible that there are Magic Mouths on the  other sides of over-grown walls close enough to be triggered, anyway.  If this is the case, the will all speak at once, contradicting each other and making rational thought difficult (increasing the DC of all concentration checks in the area by 5).  At the base of the statue, the following prophecy is inscribed:

“Beware the *Calm Before the Storm*,
For in fertile peace grows the seed of entropy.
The God of Cycles slumbers an age
That He may be on hand to stem the tide of sand
That would drown all things living.
But he must wake, or all is lost.
Give of yourself and the ground that gave you birth,
Earth breeds blood; and blood breeds earth.”

Below that, a small hollow in the base of the statue seems to desire that something fill it.

It is not documented how the Elephant allowed itself to be petrified, but the effects of it are far-reaching.  With the absence of a living avatar in the world, the Nature God of the East has had no influence in the world, and the East has increasingly been overrun with desert.  This has been mostly gradual, but, very soon, a vast sandstorm will rage throughout the East and only pockets of lush life will be left in isolated oases.

The Elephant is an avatar of an exotic Eastern god of nature, unknown, for the most part, in this part of the world.  The Garden is its temple and its home, since being brought to this part of the world by the wizard, Frost.  The Elephant is Neutral in alignment, but may have a vested interest in aiding the PCs if they awaken it.  The Elephant should be considered potentially very dangerous in temperament, but also potentially benevolent.  It should have the stats of an *awakened elephant* with a few Druid levels--the avatar is actually not extraordinarily divinely powerful.  Rather, it is expected to live and die within the natural cycle, only to be replaced by another avatar.

Once Rededieb sees the statue, some quick mental calculations convince him that, sold to the right buyers, the chunk of stone could be worth a fortune.  The only problem is that he has no way to move the statue.  That, and that the PCs may try to awaken it.  At this point, in desperation, Rededieb will spring his ambush, especially if the PCs seem to be trying to figure out the (relatively simple) riddle (placing a drop of blood and a bit of earth within the hollow of the statue) to awaken the Elephant.

Rededieb will sneak attack the least combat-able PC, if possible, and then will threaten a coup-de-grace against that PC if s/he still lives. If not, Rededieb will attempt to fool the PCs into thinking that the PC still lives and will attempt to hold that life a hostage in either case.  Rededieb will attempt to force the PCs to push the statue out of the labyrinth for him.  This task should be beyond the capabilities of the PCs, but Rededieb is not above asking for the impossible in such tense situations.

Ironically, if the PCs have already filled the hollow in the statue with earth, there is a slight chance that the spraying blood of the sneak-attacked PC will waken the Elephant.  Now an *awakened elephant*, the avatar will need to take sides.  The Elephant, although an avatar of Nature, still has its biases and a rat-creature (all-too mouse-like in appearance) holding other creatures hostage is not likely to win in such a situation.  If awakened at such a moment, the Elephant will charge Rededieb, a *divine intervention* of the most direct sort.

Of course, if the Elephant is not (yet) awakened, the PCs will just have to think of a way out of their mess.

Even with Rededieb eliminated and the Elephant awakened, the PCs still are not necessarily safe.  The Elephant must still decide whether or not to trust the PCs and, consequently, the PCs must still decide whether or not to trust the elephant.  The Elephant has the power (really, the mass) to rush straight through the over-grown walls of the labyrinth and lead the PCs to freedom, or could use Druid spells, but he will only do that if he thinks they have the best interests of Nature in mind.  However, the Elephant desperately needs to get back to the East, where its divine presence is needed to intervene between the sand-storm that would envelope the East and the inhabitants therein.  If the PCs would help the Elephant to make this journey, they are sure to be appreciated and, possibly, well rewarded.

If the Elephant is never awakened, the East will become an almost-total desert within the next year and once-thriving cultures will be lost.  This will certainly have repercussions in the West, but what those might be are left to the DM and could likely be the basis for a campaign.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 24, 2003)

Placeholder for Wicht vs. Rune judgment.

Now the bad news, guys:  I and my lovely wife are buying a house on Monday, our first purchased home ever, filling us both with excitement and terror.  This means that my time for posting between now and Tuesday will be extremely limited.  If packing goes very well this weekend, I may have some time to post a judgment; otherwise, it may be sometime next week before I'm able to do so.

I've not read Wicht or Rune yet, but I'll say that Nem vs. Wulf is the first time I've read both entries and not had an immediate gut reaction as to which way to judge.

Daniel


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## Wicht (Oct 24, 2003)

Waah!  Waiting is no fun!


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## Rune (Oct 24, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> Waah!  Waiting is no fun!




In the meantime, (and Pie need not read this) 



Spoiler



I loved the circus, Wicht.  Especially the clowns!


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## Wicht (Oct 24, 2003)

Thanks Rune 

I find it interesting that while the Wererat was an obvious choice for us both to make we both chose to use a garden maze for the wild once cultivatesd spot


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## el-remmen (Oct 24, 2003)

Wicht said:
			
		

> Waah!  Waiting is no fun!




Now I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of this. . . 


Oh, and Pie, does that mean I can look at the you know what you know where?


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## Rune (Oct 24, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Oh, and Pie, does that mean I can look at the you know what you know where?




Ooo, ooo!  Me too!  Me too!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 25, 2003)

You guys can look at the you know what you know where if you really really want to.

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 25, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> You guys can look at the you know what you know where if you really really want to.




Wish I knew what the you know what you were referring to.

Wulf


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## Wicht (Oct 25, 2003)

Just a little bump from the third page.


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## Berandor (Oct 25, 2003)

I haven't read Wicht/Rune yet, but:
Nemmerle, couldn't you have taken Formian stats for the bees, with just a fly speed added? They have hive structre, workers etc. The bite damage could be their stinger, etc.

That's what I thought you'd choose, anyway.

Now, quiet, as the judge moves.


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## el-remmen (Oct 26, 2003)

Berandor said:
			
		

> Nemmerle, couldn't you have taken Formian stats for the bees, with just a fly speed added? They have hive structre, workers etc. The bite damage could be their stinger, etc.
> 
> That's what I thought you'd choose, anyway.
> 
> Now, quiet, as the judge moves.




I'll explain the reasons why afetr Pielorinho posts his judgment.


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## el-remmen (Oct 27, 2003)

Le sigh.  Le Bump.


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## Imhotepthewise (Oct 27, 2003)

...you're killin' me!

From the other Brooklyn...in CT!


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## el-remmen (Oct 27, 2003)

Last night I dreamt I was hitting on this hottie nerdy woman and she had to go to work, so I walked her there and it was an immense bookstore - and on a shelf beside the counter was two shelves of thick volumes labeled "IRON DM" with other people's names on them.

I flipped through them and they were IRON DM reference books with tons of old entries, judgments, dos and don'ts in adventure writing, lists of ingredients and definitions of rare words and terms and a glossary.  It was amazing.  It was like 12 books each the size of the complete works of Shakespeare, plus some smaller books.

I don't remember the name of the author, but I started flipping out.  "But _I_ invented IRON DM!" I cried.

"No, these have been around for a long time.  At least like 12 years," the hot nerdy woman said.

I was furious as I was certain someone had ripped me off.  But then it struck me that I had never learned who had won the IRON DM of Fall 2003 - so I tried to find the right book with the results - but then it struck me - all reference to my name had been removed.

My anger tripled!    And then the alarm went off and I had to get up and go to work.

Pielorinho, what are yo doing to me?


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## MerakSpielman (Oct 27, 2003)

nemmerle, that's just priceless.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 28, 2003)

Okay -- whew!  I'm on a computer for the first time since Sunday afternoon.  Yesterday was about fifteen kinds of fun -- but we ended up deciding not to take the slack-butt house-sellers and their sleazy agent to court, so at least the fun is more or less over.

I'll get both judgments posted today.  Thanks for your patience.
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 28, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> I'll get both judgments posted today.  Thanks for your patience.
> Daniel




Daniel, I could kiss you! (But if I do, I had better win).


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 28, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Daniel, I could kiss you! (But if I do, I had better win).




I have long suspected that your prior wins were chiefly attributable to solicitation.

Wulf


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## mythago (Oct 28, 2003)

You mean if I had... then I would have won.... AAARGH!


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 28, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> I flipped through them and they were IRON DM reference books with tons of old entries, judgments, dos and don'ts in adventure writing, lists of ingredients and definitions of rare words and terms and a glossary.  It was amazing.  It was like 12 books each the size of the complete works of Shakespeare, plus some smaller books.
> 
> I don't remember the name of the author, but I started flipping out.  "But _I_ invented IRON DM!" I cried.




I've been trying to convince you to do this for almost 2 years now; as most dreams are reflections of our waking thoughts and worries, I suspect that's the genesis of your dream.

So... Let's get it done already, and make it an ENworld "charity" special.


Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 28, 2003)

*First, Wicht vs. Rune:*



These judgments are going to be shorter than my previous ones:  I am utterly wiped out by the housebuying process, and still have work to catch up on.  So I’ll give a brief summary.



Rune’s scenario had a few interesting pieces in it:  the overgrown labyrinth is a fun adventure setting, especially if the PCs don’t have flight capability yet (if they do, you’ll need to explain why flight doesn’t act as an easy solution to the adventure).  But the adventure had several flaws in it.  The shifty smile was in both cases unconvincing – for the magic mouths, a smirk is both less plausible and less infuriating than a pious expression reciting a mystical (and meaningless) homily.  And for the rat bastard, the shifty smile ruins his game:  if he’s really that sneaky, he should look sincere, not sneaky.



I liked the awakened elephant as a literal ingredient use, and your divine intervention, while not very interesting, was superior to Wicht’s lame-o use.  The calm before the storm was as irrelevant in yours as it was in Wicht’s adventure; no points to either of you for it.  The potential of escorting a God’s weakened avatar back to its homeland was probably the coolest part of the adventure; I could definitely imagine using that in a game at some point.



Wicht’s scenario worked a lot better for me:  although the circus with awakened animals had the potential to be precious and twee, it actually came off well.  You didn’t do much of anything that I could see with the calm before the storm, and the divine intervention sucked – the God prevents the PCs from preventing the climax, but then doesn’t interfere to allow his servant to succeed during the climax?  The players would hate me if I tried that, especially in a game like D&D where a god’s intervention on behalf of a cleric is well-defined in the rules.  But the rat bastard was a clever ploy, and the shifty smile was appropriate (a bad cheat is a lot likelier to look like a cheat than a good cheat, and you capture that in the wanna-be fraud of a circus owner).  



Overall, Rune’s adventure had some good points, but not enough to match the creative and original setting and feel of Wicht’s.  Wicht, you’re in third place; congratulations!


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## Pielorinho (Oct 28, 2003)

*Nemmerle vs. Wulf*

For the championship! 

This is, appropriately, the hardest of all the matches for me to judge.  Even as I’m posting this, I still don’t have a gut favorite between the two adventures.

Nemmerle’s adventure, true to form, clocks in at eight pages of text.  I stopped reading it several times, getting distracted and bored.  Bad sign!  That said, there were some great scenes in it, some fantastic politics.  All the ingredients were used fairly well, except for the queen bee – I never did get a good sense of danger from the bee-men.  Perhaps it is my fault for picturing them like the only bee-man I know of, the guy from the Simpsons, but they just didn’t scare me.  Regular bees would have been more effective, IMO, or else some other creature entirely.

The contagious madness is very cool, but I’m not sure I buy the whole “redemption” explanation – you stretched that word just past the point of no return, according to my dictionary.  Even if you could twist such that you were technically correct on the redemption, the ghost talks about “not seeking redemption for my sake.”  Nobody would ever use the work like that, and the PCs know it as well as the players, as well as the DM.

Mammoth harp?  Good stuff.  Magical sand?  Works very well.  Paragon of perfumed foppery?  A fantastic character, one I’ll yoink for a game of my own some day.



Wulf’s adventure was a lot shorter, a lot more engaging to read.  Again, the bees didn’t have a strong reason to be bees – but the scene with them did hold to a fae feel, and I love the trick of getting the PCs to play music accompanying the faerie dance.  When the faeries sing their curse, the Excellent DM will take a big hit from a helium balloon and then sing the song.

Magical sand wasn’t nearly as well developed in this adventure as in Nem’s, but it was thematically appropriate.  Silent killer was, of course, woven throughout the adventure, in a very cool way – while some of those killers were goofy (mime of death?  I giggled, sure, but c’mon), others were pretty cool, especially the wight musician.



Overall, we see the strength of each of the semifinalists in these two entries:  Nem develops a complicated political and historical setup filled with magic and a couple great characters, while Wulf gives a set of quick, evocative scenes oozing with mood.  Even as I write this, it’s hard for me to choose between them.



Ultimately, it comes down to two related facets:  Wulf’s entry was pithy, and almost all its major aspects were derived from the ingredients.  Nem’s entry was long and dragging in places, and contained many more aspects unrelated to the ingredients (giants, for example).  By a single hair, Wulf’s elegance and simplicity of design wins him this tournament


Congratulations, Wulf, the new Iron DM!


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## el-remmen (Oct 28, 2003)

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!



Congrats, Wulf.  After all this time you most assuredly deserve the win.


Thanks for running this thing Pielorinho.  I had a whole lot of fun.

I have to say though that I thought my use of "Redemption" was great and I was certain it was oh so clever - using the conceit of players to think that someone cursed to be a ghost needs to be redeemed in a spiritual sense, but the ones doing the redeeming were the fiends, cashing in on the favor they did the artist - kind of like paying a deposit on a can of soda and then geting your nickel back.   Maybe I wasn't clear enough - but I was trying to be brief.

Anyway, good job to all the contestants - and I look forward to running the Holiday Iron DM over at Nutkinland some time in December.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 28, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> I have to say though that I thought my use of "Redemption" was great and I was certain it was oh so clever - using the conceit of players to think that someone cursed to be a ghost needs to be redeemed in a spiritual sense, but the ones doing the redeeming were the fiends, cashing in on the favor they did the artist - kind of like paying a deposit on a can of soda and then geting your nickel back. Maybe I wasn't clear enough - but I was trying to be brief.



Naw, it was clever, and I got what you were doing -- but I think it was *too* clever, if you get me.  Nobody would say "Do not seek redemption for my sake," when what they really mean is, "Do me a favor, bud, and don't try to get those evil demons to cash in the favor I promised them eons ago."

The demons weren't redeeming a coke can:  they were collecting on an unpaid debt.  That activity doesn't actually fit under any of the definitions of redemption, I think:  it's not recovering something mortgaged, and it's not paying an obligation, and it's not rescuing, and it's not salvation from sin through Jesus's sacrifice.

So my problems with it were twofold:  even a crazy guy isn't going to use the word that way in conversation, and in writing it doesn't fit exactly under a definition of the word.  It was a cool set of scenes, and a good backstory; I just didn't think redemption described it adequately.

Daniel


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 28, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Congratulations, Wulf, the new Iron DM!




I sure do like the way that sounds! Wheeeeee!

So now for my exposition (actually the second time I am typing this after a computer crash, so it is much more brief):

What I feared would be a weakness turned out to be the strength I intended: None of my ingredients were covered too closely or too literally. As a result, they all seemed to fit very nicely together, within the "mood" of the piece. Note to future contestants: Judge Daniel likes mood. 

I wish I had more time to polish up the entry (as usual) and to make some connections more evident (Faerie Queen > Queen Bee > Narcissus, for example).

I think my second round entry was my strongest of the tournament; while it may not be my strongest ever (as an entry) I think it's the most fun I've had writing and putting together an entry. 

I had a great time with this tournament... Winning probably has something to do with that. 

Thanks much to the judge and my fellow competitors!

Wulf


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## Pielorinho (Oct 28, 2003)

Actually, I thought both your second-round and Nem's second round entries were stronger than either entry in the final round.  I assumed that was because the ingredients were harder in the final round.

Daniel


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## mythago (Oct 28, 2003)

Congrats, Wulf!


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 28, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Actually, I thought both your second-round and Nem's second round entries were stronger than either entry in the final round.  I assumed that was because the ingredients were harder in the final round.




Probably. On the one hand I could have used more time, and on the other hand I could have done better with every ingredient. The last round I ended up with at least a whole afternoon less time to work on it than I expected... And I was up late playing in Piratecat's game the night before... So basically I wrote it in one morning.

Even so I do think my entry was the better one. 

Nemm's just seemed a lot more dungeon-crawly and workmanlike. 

But I will save further commentary for when I finally get to judge. I don't want the competitors to feel like they have a handle on how to pander to the judge _too_ soon.

Anyway, something about the 2nd round just didn't feel as harried and "chore-like" as my entries usually feel. I just had a fun time writing that one and playing word games with the ingredients. Maybe it is because the deadline fell on a weekend...?


Wulf


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## Berandor (Oct 29, 2003)

Wulf: Congrats, but you know what that means, don't you? GrimTales will be mine! 
You *do* ship overseas, don't you?

Nemmerle: Congratulations, anyway. As I would do for anyone likely to judge my first entry into IronDM (holiday), I think yours was better! 
If only it hadn't been that long... 

Now, your explanation w/r/t formians?


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## Wulf Ratbane (Oct 29, 2003)

Berandor said:
			
		

> Wulf: Congrats, but you know what that means, don't you? GrimTales will be mine!
> You *do* ship overseas, don't you?




Thanks, Berandor. 

Osseum does supply Bad Axe books to Europe, through a German distributor. Our books are also available through Amazon. Last but not least, I can ship it to you myself. It's always best to start by asking your local retailer about Bad Axe-- I can always use good word of mouth.

Wulf


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## Berandor (Oct 29, 2003)

Yeah, I noticed the ISBN - I can order the book by the number.

I'll have my FLGS order it, as soon as it's out and I've recovered from donation spree 

But seriously, I would have bought it if you'd lost as well. It just sounds too nifty! 

B


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## el-remmen (Oct 29, 2003)

Berandor said:
			
		

> Now, your explanation w/r/t formians?




I hate Formorains.  Pretty simple. 

They have a bunch of extra powers and have a lot more HD and damage potential than I wanted the creatures to have.  I thought about just making some flying Formorians - but hte Queen Formorian is a tough monster with a high CR and in the end - I thought it was btter just to convert something else.

I was going to make them just plain giant bees, instead of bee-men - but I don't know - I guess I wanted more intelligent foes.  At one point I considered making them psionic.

Of course, everyone thinks their entry is better than their opponent's whether they win or lose.  While I thought Wulf's was well-done as usual - the adventure itself did not really strike me as something I like on a gut level - it is just not the kind of adventure I would ever run, I guess - which is something I always try to purge myself of when I judge (I try to be more general would _anyone_ want to run this).

My biggest fear about my entry was that the ingredients were strung together in too "far apart" a fashion - as they could be found in different parts of the dungeon.   But I was going for that Gygaxian dungeon-crawl feel.


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## Berandor (Oct 29, 2003)

(hmmm... no formorians - check!)

I think you would have won if you'd provided us with a map to the mountain 

Honestly, I thought Wulf's adventure was a little more inventive, and at first sight, I thought it was better. But I wouldn't run the adventure, whereas Nemmerle's entry I could see considering... it was a tough decision.

Oh, and congrats, Wicht! I adored your circus (and I'm going to steal a lot of it! ), but the divine intervention gave me headaches, because I usually don't like to say "you can't do anything at all to change it". Then again, these small things is how I think gods would intervene if they really would, so...

Berandor


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## Macbeth (Oct 29, 2003)

Congrats everybody. Good jobs all around. I'm suprised how well my 'divine intervention' ingredient was used for the 3rd place match.


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## BSF (Oct 29, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Of course, everyone thinks their entry is better than their opponent's whether they win or lose.  While I thought Wulf's was well-done as usual - the adventure itself did not really strike me as something I like on a gut level - it is just not the kind of adventure I would ever run, I guess - which is something I always try to purge myself of when I judge (I try to be more general would _anyone_ want to run this).




I looked at Wulf's adventure and thought - Cool!  That would be so much fun to run.    I have some fae elements in my campaign and this would have been a wonderful addition to the game.  I probably would have modified it a little, but you know, that is individual preference tweaking.  

Anyway, it was excellent work by everybody!  Especially in such a short period of time.  Maybe someday I will be able to organize myself enough to actually compete in one of these.


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## mythago (Oct 29, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Of course, everyone thinks their entry is better than their opponent's whether they win or lose.




Not always. There's nothing quite like that feeling of smugly pulling up your opponent's entry, reading it over, and realizing you've just been beaten eastside, westside, all around the town.


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## Macbeth (Oct 29, 2003)

mythago said:
			
		

> Not always. There's nothing quite like that feeling of smugly pulling up your opponent's entry, reading it over, and realizing you've just been beaten eastside, westside, all around the town.



I had that kind of feeling with Mythago's entry in Ceramic DM. Most of the time I do like my entries better, but Mythago is just such a good writer...


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## el-remmen (Oct 29, 2003)

Uh, yeah. . I was obviosuly using the obscure definition of "_everyone_" which means "_some people_".


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## mythago (Oct 29, 2003)

Ohhh. You mean the INTERNET definition.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 29, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Uh, yeah. . I was obviosuly using the obscure definition of "_everyone_" which means "_some people_".



That's what it means in hobgoblin, anyways.
Daniel


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## el-remmen (Oct 29, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> That's what it means in hobgoblin, anyways.
> Daniel




Daniel, there is a thin line between love and hate, my friend.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 29, 2003)

nemmerle said:
			
		

> Daniel, there is a thin line between love and hate, my friend.



Very true -- so much so that in hobgoblin, they're the same word.

Daniel
(Okay, don't hurt me, I'll stop now)


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## el-remmen (Oct 29, 2003)

Pielorinho said:
			
		

> Very true -- so much so that in hobgoblin, they're the same word.




Hmm, actually I like that.  It says something about their culture. Consider that _yoinked_ for the emerging hobgoblin culture of Aquerra.


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## Pielorinho (Oct 29, 2003)

Okay, a final comment from me, sort of an exposition on my judging.

My thanks to all the contestants in this round:  everyone was gracious and polite, with no sore losers.  I think these contests depend on trusting the judge's instincts, and if anyone didn't trust mine, well, they kept quiet about it, which is almost as good .  Y'all brought forth some great stories, with a lot of elements I'm looking forward to stealing for my games.

Folks (especially *Wulf*) mentioned pandering to the judge.  To be honest, I deliberately encouraged that.  Some contestants know me a lot better than others, and I didn't want them to have an unfair advantage; that's why I told everyone in the beginning how best to pander to me, how to write entries that I'd like.  Hopefully that mini-essay levelled the playing field somewhat.

One of the harder parts of judging this was separating my opinions of the stories from my knowledge of the contestants and my expectations of how the contest would happen.  It's easy for me to recognize that I go into a round expecting contestant A to have a stronger entry than contestant B; it's difficult to tell whether I'm letting that expectation influence my judgment.  I wish there were a way for entries to be anonymous, so that I wouldn't have had to worry about that; unfortunately, I couldn't think of a practical way to put this into effect.  Several observers told me they agreed with my judgments, though, so hopefully I was able to set my expectations successfully to one side.

Thanks again to everyone, and I look forward to sitting back and watching the next tournament. I hadn't realized how exhausting it could be to judge one of these.

Daniel


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