# OT-Trouble with online discussions



## Protean (Nov 6, 2003)

The title pretty much says it all, but first I'll give a little bit of background. All of you folks of EN World are an enthusiastic and intelligent bunch. Most of the time I feel as if my opinionions have very little merit. I just would like to see if you folks could give me advice on how to handle myself on these boards, and on how to avoid coming off like a jerk...


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## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Nov 6, 2003)

Hey Protean! 

Just have fun with it and don't get caught up in worrying about other peoples perception of your posts too much. If people only posted scintillating comments, we would have some pretty bare threads around here. And some users with high post counts would have no posts at all   


My most intelligent or thoughtful posts/replies often receive no responses at all. 

(! that one time - oh, you missed it?) Whatever. 

If it makes you feel good to share your thoughts with others, by all means do so, but don't expect external verification, for you are sure to be dissapointed.

Many threads ask for ( directly or implied )opinions. Don't be afraid to post yours - it all makes for interesting reading. And you just might make a friend or two. 

edit: You can always walk away from someone who flames you, if that ever happens - never respond in anger if you get worked up. Take a few minutes off before composing that reply and see if your perspective has changed. Usually it gives you a chance to let go of the ego a bit. This is usually pretty trivial stuff we discuss here.

second edit: Your spelling will ocassionally be made fun of, especially if you are too lazy (like me ) to use the spell checker


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## shilsen (Nov 6, 2003)

Few simple suggestions:

1) Don't be afraid to express an opinion.

2) Don't get upset if everyone else doesn't think said opinion is great.

3) Be appreciative when people give you helpful tips or comments (after all, a complete stranger was just nice to you).

4) Don't mind if people say something that gets your goat (I did say they were complete strangers, right?).

5) Enjoy yourself and welcome to the boards.


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## Desdichado (Nov 6, 2003)

I regularly come off as a jerk.  Quite likely, I really am a jerk.

However, I keep plugging along, and occasionally someone finds _something_ I say interesting.  Now and again.


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## Protean (Nov 6, 2003)

I really appreciate the input guys. Thanks for the encouragement.


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## Piratecat (Nov 6, 2003)

By the very act of asking, you're miles ahead of most people.  

If you stay as polite to people as you would at a dinner party - i.e. ignore the rude ones, hang out with the fun ones, and don't barf on the furniture - you'll be just fine. My two big pet peeves?

- People who state opinions as immutable facts. ("Dwarves suck" as opposed to "I think dwarves suck" - no one can argue with the latter)

- People who post deliberately in the wrong forum in order to get attention

In any case, it's a pleasure to have you here. Hey, speaking of "wrong forum"... we're off to Meta-land!

PS we turned off html in the sigs. If you need help translating the livejournal link to VBB code, give a holler.


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## Crothian (Nov 6, 2003)

Common courtesy.


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## Harlock (Nov 6, 2003)

Crothian pretty much summed it up.  Common courtesy, the Golden Rule... or look at a few people that come off as jerks and do the opposite of what they do.  Most often the reminders from moderators are gentle enough... at first.  Of course repeated jerkiness can lead to undesirable consequences, not the least of which would be a lot of people talking about trolls and ignoring you.  Best of luck, be yourself and hey, have fun, that's what this is all about!


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## guedo79 (Nov 6, 2003)

BigFreekinGoblinoid said:
			
		

> second edit: Your spelling will ocassionally be made fun of, especially if you are too lazy (like me ) to use the spell checker




Now you have a better excuse. The new boards don't have a spell checker. or you are just extra extra lazy.


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## Mark (Nov 6, 2003)

Offset your less-than-friendly posts by being helpful as often as you can and always try to be polite, even when you disagree.


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## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Nov 6, 2003)

guedo79 said:
			
		

> Now you have a better excuse. The new boards don't have a spell checker. or you are just extra extra lazy.




I didn't even know that the new boards don't have that! Oops - that reveals just how lazy I really am


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## BrooklynKnight (Nov 6, 2003)

Dont act like me.


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## jdavis (Nov 6, 2003)

1. Lurk around for awhile getting a feel for the place, you can learn a lot with a couple of days worth of lurking.

2. Check out the whole board, there is just so much out there. It also helps you know which forums to post which threads in. A good example is a lot of tv threads get posted in general and then have to be moved to Fantasy & Sci Fi.

3. Know when to give up in a thread. Discussions often get heated and that's fine as long as it doesn't get personal but sometimes it's just easier to give up and go on. (a lesson I learned the hard way  )

4. Don't worry about not knowing what you are talking about either, a lot of people around here are just full of it (not me I really am a expert on everything ). Just have fun and never take anything personal.

5. There is a link to report threads to the moderators if they seem to be offensive or the thread is getting personal. The Moderators are really helpful around here and do a pretty good job.

6. Never forget the Golden rule(s) here, "no religion and no politics" and "nothing Eric Noah's grandmother might find offensive" (if you got to ask then it probably is).


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## Umbran (Nov 6, 2003)

jdavis said:
			
		

> 6. Never forget the Golden rule(s) here...




And, if you're trying to avoid coming off like a jerk, remember the original Golden Rule - that whole "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" thing.  A great deal of jerkishness comes from casually forgetting that there's an actual person on the other end of the conversation.


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## tburdett (Nov 6, 2003)

Just type what you think.  Oh, and editing, lots and lots of editing.  Especially if typing what you think does not go over well.


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## Dimwhit (Nov 6, 2003)

And enjoy the good disagreements. As long as posts don't get nasty, you can have a good discussion (aka disagreement/argument) with someone in one thread, then turn around in another thread and it's as if nothing happened. I've had that happen many times here. One of my favorite threads was several months ago where I had a "discussion" with Mark. We fairly strongly disagreed, yet it was fun to discussion. Of course, I don't even remember what it was about anymore, but it was great.

So just enjoy.


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## randomling (Nov 6, 2003)

Hey - welcome to the boards, Protean!

Just wanted to chime in and say "common courtesy" and the basic forum rules - keep it clean, keep it civil, keep it on topic - cover a whole lot of stuff. You should find this is generally a friendly place to hang out (I know I have) and that the obnoxious types are pretty few and far between around here. 

I find the trick is not to take it all too seriously, if somebody flames you just shrug and move on. Other than that, read, post, take part, enjoy!

Oh, and you could check out my boards too.  People who concern themselves with not coming off as a jerk are very warmly welcome!!

Hope you have fun here.


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## diaglo (Nov 6, 2003)

Crothian said:
			
		

> Common courtesy.




as opposed to Uncommon, Rare, Very Rare or Unique courtesy.

they travel in packs.  


*Protean* just post away. people here will let you know how they feel about you.


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## KidCthulhu (Nov 7, 2003)

If you're replying to someone, I find it helpful when people either use the reply button and cut out the section of their post you're referring to, or paraphrase the argument.  With discussions running multiple pages, it's really nice to establish context.

But that's very high level courtesy.  Basic courtesy will get you everywhere you want to be.  Thanks for asking, and welcome.


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## BSF (Nov 7, 2003)

*grumble*

Sorry for the double post...


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## BSF (Nov 7, 2003)

Have fun.

Express yourself because you want to.  Your opinions are just as valid as any other opinion on the board.  

Don't feel intimidated by other's posts.  For the most part, we are all expressing opinions.  (Some topics get down to fairly explicit mathematical evaluations and discussions on poor rulebook grammar.  These are usually facts, but there is usually an opinion that works on the interpretation level.)

Remember that even though most of us don't know each other, we obviously have an interest in gaming as a common thread.   

It is OK to agree to disagree.  You should disagree politely.

Everyone here is a potential friend - if you work with that assumption, you will make more friends than you will enemies.


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## the Jester (Nov 7, 2003)

Wow, what a cool thing to ask!

Just basically play nice.  If others don't play nice, take the high road and still play nice, even if it means walking away from a thread.  Respect the opinions of others but don't be afraid to express yours.

There's a set of rules of conduct here- don't use profanity, don't post pornographic images, don't bring up real-life religion or politics.  There's a FAQ you can look at, actually. 

Oh, and welcome to the boards!


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## Buttercup (Nov 7, 2003)

Piratecat said:
			
		

> By the very act of asking, you're miles ahead of most people.



That's so true. Really, just be friendly and polite, and you'll have no problems, Protean.  And welcome!



> If you stay as polite to people as you would at a dinner party - i.e. ignore the rude ones, hang out with the fun ones, and don't barf on the furniture - you'll be just fine.



Don't barf on the furniture?  You're no fun at all.  Why would anybody even go to a dinner party if they couldn't do that?



> My two big pet peeves?
> 
> - People who state opinions as immutable facts. ("Dwarves suck" as opposed to "I think dwarves suck" - no one can argue with the latter)



Oh yeah?  Well, elves suck.  So there.


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## Piratecat (Nov 7, 2003)

Damn librarians. So obstreperous.



			
				Buttercup said:
			
		

> Oh yeah?  Well, elves suck.  So there.




Ummm. Errr. Yeah, you've got me there; I really can't argue this.


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## Angcuru (Nov 7, 2003)

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Ummm. Errr. Yeah, you've got me there; I really can't argue this.



I can.  But I won't.  

I WILL HOWEVER.....

ask how old p-kitty is and when his birthday is.

*asks*


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## Buttercup (Nov 7, 2003)

Piratecat said:
			
		

> Damn librarians. So obstreperous.





Why, thank you P-kitty.


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