# Things that are better with bacon



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Well - there's been some talk of bacon (oddly enough, in the thread abouth Peanut Butter) and it got me to thinking about all of the things that I love to eat bacon on, with, or in.

For example - if you cut a turkey breast (or chicken if you have no turkey) into slices the size of a small hot dog, wrap them in thick bacon, and grill them - you have an absolutely delicious combination.  Put them in a hot dog bun or wrap them up in a slice of bread with ketchup and mustard and you have one of my **favorite** foods.

So - tell me what you like with bacon.  Enlighten me and make my mouth water!!


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## Warrior Poet (Aug 3, 2005)

The next time you find yourself in Chicago, hie thee to Emilio's Tapas at the intersection of Fullerton and Clark (they have a second location on Ohio east of Michigan Ave.).  One of their signature tapas dishes is bacon-wrapped dates. Say no more.

Warrior Poet

P.S.  The sangria goes without saying, of course . . . .


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## megamania (Aug 3, 2005)

Turkey is a clear yes

Grilled Cheese (yum!)

Anything with egg  (omelet, sandwich etc...)





....grill cheese....lunch time?  almost!


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Water chestnuts wrapped in bacon, and then cooked in the oven to crisp the bacon, is one of my favorite appetizers.


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## der_kluge (Aug 3, 2005)

Filet mignon

Salad

Baked potatoes


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## Brain (Aug 3, 2005)

[bacon]bacon wrapped bacon is better when wrapped in bacon[/bacon]


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## Khayman (Aug 3, 2005)

Devils on Horseback --- pitted prunes, stuffed with sauteed chicken livers, then wrapped in bacon and baked. Serve with chutney. [CR 4]


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Brain said:
			
		

> [bacon]bacon wrapped bacon is better when wrapped in bacon[/bacon]



 Hey, The Universe... I believe now would be a good time for you to share the tale of Triple Bacon Bacon Pizza.


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## Mystery Man (Aug 3, 2005)

There's place on my ass where the fat goes from bacon.


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## Wyn A'rienh (Aug 3, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> if you cut a turkey breast (or chicken if you have no turkey) into slices the size of a small hot dog, wrap them in thick bacon, and grill them - you have an absolutely delicious combination.  Put them in a hot dog bun or wrap them up in a slice of bread with ketchup and mustard and you have one of my **favorite** foods.




Oh, wow. That sounds amazing.

Let's see ... my grandma puts bacon in her fresh green beans.  Delicious.

My boyfriend makes a great pasta dish with penne, little pieces of lightly breaded chicken, sundried tomatoes, bacon, and this great smoked cheese sauce.  It's heavenly.

Then there's all the common stuff - eggs, cheeseburgers, etc.  Everything's better with bacon!


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Wyn A'rienh said:
			
		

> Oh, wow. That sounds amazing.




Come on over!  I'll make dinner!  

But really - it's very easy to do on your own... the bacon wrapping can get difficult, but once you slap them on the grill, the bacon crisps up and sticks to the turkey/chicken pretty well.

Ohhh... the hunger.


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

CARAMELIZED BACON

Brown sugar caramelizes into a sweet glaze that makes this
bacon a treat!

Prep: 10 min Baking: 12 min

1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 pound (8 slices) bacon


Heat oven to 450°F. Spray top of broiler pan lightly with no
stick cooking spray; line bottom of pan with aluminum foil.

Combine brown sugar and cinnamon in small bowl. Coat bacon
slices with brown sugar mixture.

Place coated bacon onto prepared pan. Bake for 12 to 15
minutes or until well-browned.

Immediately remove bacon; place onto serving plate. 

More bacon recipes:

http://www.conagrafoods.com/recipes...s=&fat=&sodium=&cholesterol=&brand=&x=64&y=14

http://search.freefind.com/find.html?id=3223426&pageid=r&mode=ALL&n=0&query=bacon&x=0&y=0

http://www.cooking.com/recipes/researre.asp?Keywords=bacon

http://www.recipesource.com/cgi-bin/search?search_string=bacon&imageField.x=0&imageField.y=0


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## Warrior Poet (Aug 3, 2005)

My grandmother's recipe for slow-cooked _frijoles_ called for bacon chunks in the pot to stew with the beans for about four hours during the cooking process.  Awesome.

Warrior Poet


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## cuteasaurus (Aug 3, 2005)

It was bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon pizza (meat lover's but all meats replaced with bacon)...and as neat as bacon is, it was disgusting.


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## Lefferts (Aug 3, 2005)

Wrap some scallops with bacon - delicious!


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## The_Universe (Aug 3, 2005)

Yeah - as requested, I have to share the triple bacon bacon bacon story....

When I was in college, it was our practice to order pizza for a sunday night bible study that I routinely participated in. One night, we were speculating (among more religious topics) how much bacon you could get on a pizza and still have it be good. 

Somewhere in this conversation, as people are talking over each other, etc. someone yells out "triple bacon bacon bacon" (which is either 9 "toppings" of bacon or 5 - all depending on how you interpret it). So, we're going to order a triple bacon bacon bacon pizza and see how much bacon we get. 

But we need a comparison - why not get a meat lovers pizza, but with all the meats that aren't bacon replaced by bacon? Done!

The order goes in, and we wait hungrily for our bacon pizzas.

Suffice to say that they were DIGUSTING. They were so greasy, and there was so much bacon (the meat lovers with all the non-bacon meats baconed had the most, but not by much) that it had effectively prevented the pizza from being properly cooked. There was unmelted cheese, cold soggy bacon, and grease drenched crust to contend with. 

It was, in short, a digestive nightmare. 

...And that's what I'll tell my children if they ever ask if there can be too much of a good thing...


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

The_Universe said:
			
		

> Suffice to say that they were DIGUSTING. They were so greasy, and there was so much bacon (the meat lovers with all the non-bacon meats baconed had the most, but not by much) that it had effectively prevented the pizza from being properly cooked. There was unmelted cheese, cold soggy bacon, and grease drenched crust to contend with.
> 
> It was, in short, a digestive nightmare.




So you're saying you opened the box and it was extremely greasy and looked disgusting but you still ate it?   

You wacky college kids and your bible study groups.


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## Wyn A'rienh (Aug 3, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Come on over!  I'll make dinner!




Woo!  On my way!


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## The_Universe (Aug 3, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> So you're saying you opened the box and it was extremely greasy and looked disgusting but you still ate it?
> 
> You wacky college kids and your bible study groups.



 You can't judge a book by it's cover! After all that anticipation, we had to TRY!


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## The Thayan Menace (Aug 3, 2005)

*Tasty Breakfast*

The _Waffle Shop_ restaurant chain serves waffles with bacon in the batter; they're really good ....


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## The_Universe (Aug 3, 2005)

As an ancillary note, pizza with beef and bacon is still good - it's only the extreme excess that makes bacon on pizza a bad idea.


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## Wyn A'rienh (Aug 3, 2005)

Pizza with bacon and pineapple is divine.


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## Voadam (Aug 3, 2005)

*Mmmm bacon*

Migratory mature canadian goose is really tough from the muscles developing over thousands of miles of flight. However wrapped in bacon it is quite tasty IME.

I use bacon grease when I make corn bread and it adds a nice touch. Unfortunately I no longer have the recipe and haven't made it in years.

A half pound of bacon is just fine on its own. Unless you cook it too long and it turns crispy losing its fine rubbery snap.

Pasta Carbonara:

1/2 pound pasta cooked.

2 eggs beaten.

1/2 pound chopped bacon cooked.

Drain pasta and pour eggs on top, the eggs will cook on the hot pasta in the pan. Add salt and pepper. Add in bacon and some of the bacon grease. Stir and serve.

Frozen green peas can be added as well.

Quite tasty.


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Wyn A'rienh said:
			
		

> Pizza with bacon and pineapple is divine.




A couple of weeks ago, we ordered pizza.  I wanted _canadian_ bacon and pineapple, but the guy apparently misunderstood and I ended up with bacon and pineapple.

It wasn't very good the night we ordered pizza (it wasn't bad either, just not what I had expected), but the next morning it made one hell of a delicious breakfast.


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## kenobi65 (Aug 3, 2005)

A restaurant near my house used to offer "Meat Lover's Biscuits and Gravy."

Now, esp. for those of you not from the U.S., "biscuits and gravy" is a traditional Southern breakfast dish, consisting of biscuits covered with gravy -- typically "sawmill gravy", which is a thick white gravy, made using sausage fat, and often has chunks of breakfast sausage in it.  So, this isn't a heart-healthy breakfast, to start with.

The "Meat Lover's Biscuits and Gravy" started with a dish of biscuits and gravy, then topped all of that with crumbled bacon and more sliced-up breakfast sausage.  I believe it took three entire pigs to provide the meat content of this dish.   But, mmmm, good.

Oh, and I agree with megamania -- bacon goes great in a grilled-cheese sandwich!


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.


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## cuteasaurus (Aug 3, 2005)

It was FOUR bacons (replaced the pepperoni, ham, and italian sausage and kept the bacon).


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## Warrior Poet (Aug 3, 2005)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> The "Meat Lover's Biscuits and Gravy"



Good lord.  My cholesterol increased just reading that post.

(And yes, I'm sure it's awesome.  Buiscuits and gravy are terrific, but I really shouldn't eat them.   )

Warrior Poet


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## The_Universe (Aug 3, 2005)

cuteasaurus said:
			
		

> It was FOUR bacons (replaced the pepperoni, ham, and italian sausage and kept the bacon).



 There were two pizzas - one with the meat lovers non-bacon meats replaced by bacon, and then a second that was the actual infamous triple bacon bacon bacon.


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## cuteasaurus (Aug 3, 2005)

I don't know what you're talking about then, because everyone here agrees that the "infamous" pizza had 4 bacons.

Edit: (And by everyone, I mean Fr. Dave, Chris, and myself)


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

cuteasaurus said:
			
		

> I don't know what you're talking about then, because everyone here agrees that the "infamous" pizza had 4 bacons.
> 
> Edit: (And by everyone, I mean Fr. Dave, Chris, and myself)



 Either way: the important part is our bible study (cute, The Universe, myself and others) ordered some pizza with a bunch of bacon on it and it was not good.


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Either way: the important part is our bible study (cute, The Universe, myself and others) ordered some pizza with a bunch of bacon on it and it was not good.




Topic for discussion:  Could God make a pizza with so much bacon on it that He Himself could not eat it?

Grilled venison wrapped in bacon is good stuff.


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## Warrior Poet (Aug 3, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> Grilled venison wrapped in bacon is good stuff.



Wow, that does sound really good.

Warrior Poet


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## fusangite (Aug 3, 2005)

Well, it might be easier to make a list of foods _not_ improved by the addition of bacon. Still, I will share one new way of doing bacon I learned last year: wrap tofu in bacon and deep-fry it! A place I go for dim sum has that dish. The dish is founded on the crucially important rule of Chinese (the people who invented tofu) cuisine that tofu is only actually fun to eat when combined with pork.


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## Vraille Darkfang (Aug 3, 2005)

1. Take a Corn Dog.

2. Fry it.

3. Wrap it in Bacon (twice).

4. Pull the Stick Out and put it in a grilled bun.

5. Smother in Extra Hot Chilli (which has big chunks of bacon in it, and could double as paint stripper).

6. Cover in Cheese (which has jalapeno & bacon bits in it..

7. Optional Toppings to taste (sour cream, onions, relish, etc).

8. Call the heart specialist/reserve the toilet for the next 2-4 hours.

Saw this thinly disguised attempt at murder once at a state fair.  I think if you ate it and your arteries didn't clog up immediatly, you got another one free.


PS. Really recommend the Scallops wrapped in bacon thing.


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

Wasn't there a movie where some hawt chick was cooking bacon on her naked body?  I mean, yeah, I think it was _Hot Shots_ or something stupid like that, but dang; does anybody not think that hot naked women go great with bacon?

There was a steakhouse in Texas were I used to eat while in college that had Chicken Fried Bacon as an appetizer.  And I'm not talking about little strips of bacon; I'm talking about big old slabs of bacon breaded and deep fat fried and served with white sauce.  I could literally feel my arteries slowing down with every bite of that I ate.

Now I'm more or less healthy; we only eat turkey bacon.


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## DungeonmasterCal (Aug 3, 2005)

This does NOT go well with bacon.

http://www.enworld.org/showpost.php?p=2463347&postcount=137


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## Templetroll (Aug 3, 2005)

Bacon, piled high or arranged nicely in layers, on white bread with mayo and a slice of tomato, lil pepper sprinkled on it.  great stuff!


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Templetroll said:
			
		

> Bacon, piled high or arranged nicely in layers, on white bread with mayo and a slice of tomato, lil pepper sprinkled on it.  great stuff!



 So a BLT without the L?  Sounds dandy to me.


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## Warrior Poet (Aug 3, 2005)

I have to leave this thread.   

If I read anymore, I'll go mental from not having access to all the food described, or my arteries will clog by proxy.  Either way, it'll mean a trip to the hospital.

Happy eating!   

Warrior Poet


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

Warrior Poet said:
			
		

> If I read anymore, I'll go mental from not having access to all the food described, or my arteries will clog by proxy.  Either way, it'll mean a trip to the hospital.



My bacon with hawt nekkid wimmin is the complete solution!  It may clog your arteries, but it's got a built in "work it back off immediately" solution right there!


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Aug 3, 2005)

My mom-in-law makes an excellent dove and bacon dish. 

Basically, it's a dove breast wrapped around a jalapaneo pepper, and a thick slice of bacon wrapped around the whole thing. I think there is something in the pepper, maybe some sort of cheese and spices (it's been a while since she made it). The whole thing is baked, and then you eat it all in one go, and since dove breasts are quite small, you usually eat 2 or 4 of them for a meal. (You just have to watch out for any stray shot that may have been missed while cleaning the dove and is still imbedded in the meat).


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## Warrior Poet (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> My bacon with hawt nekkid wimmin is the complete solution!  It may clog your arteries, but it's got a built in "work it back off immediately" solution right there!



You, sir, are a genius!

And with that, I'm back.  I'm such an easy mark.

Warrior Poet


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## kenobi65 (Aug 3, 2005)

Vraille Darkfang said:
			
		

> 1. Take a Corn Dog.
> 
> 2. Fry it.
> 
> ...




This reminds me of something called a "Francheezie."

- Take a hot dog, and slit it along the long axis
- Stuff it full of cheese
- Wrap the hot dog in bacon
- Deep-fry the whole thing
- Serve on a bun with a Crestor

Now, I'm fairly infamous for eating things I shouldn't...and even *I* won't touch one of these.


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> - Take a hot dog, and slit it along the long axis
> - Stuff it full of cheese
> - Wrap the hot dog in bacon
> - Deep-fry the whole thing
> - Serve on a bun with a Crestor



It sounded great right up until you put the toothpaste on it.


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## Rodrigo Istalindir (Aug 3, 2005)

After years of experimentation, my colleagues and I have determined that, with a singular exception, everything is better with bacon.

The exception is bubblegum.


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## Pyrex (Aug 3, 2005)

My Seafood Chowder is _much_ better with bacon.


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> My mom-in-law makes an excellent dove and bacon dish.
> 
> Basically, it's a dove breast wrapped around a jalapaneo pepper, and a thick slice of bacon wrapped around the whole thing. I think there is something in the pepper, maybe some sort of cheese and spices (it's been a while since she made it). The whole thing is baked, and then you eat it all in one go, and since dove breasts are quite small, you usually eat 2 or 4 of them for a meal. (You just have to watch out for any stray shot that may have been missed while cleaning the dove and is still imbedded in the meat).




I say in all honesty that I would seriously consider leaving my wife for this woman.


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## devilbat (Aug 3, 2005)

Although I generally agree with Homer Simpson that you can't make friends with salad, but you do have a better chance at it if you put bacon in a green or pasta salad.

Potato, french pea or bean soup are all far better with bacon.


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## warlord (Aug 3, 2005)

Sex.


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

warlord said:
			
		

> Sex.




Does this not go without saying?


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## Rodrigo Istalindir (Aug 3, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> Does this not go without saying?




You just have to watch out for spattering bacon-fat.


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

Rodrigo Istalindir said:
			
		

> You just have to watch out for spattering bacon-fat.




NOW you tell me!


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## Henry (Aug 3, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> ...You just have to watch out for any stray shot that may have been missed while cleaning the dove and is still imbedded in the meat.




Back to the Future Part III just popped into my head when I read this. 

This whole thread has me hungry for bacon! OTOH, since I've picked Honey Nut Cheerios for this week's breakfast, I'm outa luck until the weekend. 

Has anyone mentioned Scallops wrapped in bacon? Red Lobster has these little delicacies, and it's wwaaaaayyy too good for regular consumption and continued living.


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Henry said:
			
		

> Has anyone mentioned Scallops wrapped in bacon? Red Lobster has these little delicacies, and it's wwaaaaayyy too good for regular consumption and continued living.




I may have to drag the husband to an establishment like Red Lobster where I might find these delicious bacon-wrapped scallops.  (The Universe hates creatures of the sea and refuses to eat them)


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I may have to drag the husband to an establishment like Red Lobster where I might find these delicious bacon-wrapped scallops.  (The Universe hates creatures of the sea and refuses to eat them)




The last time I was in a Red Lobster, we were waiting for our "to-go" order in the lobby. There was an older couple in there talking to someone. The wife was proud that they were going to Red Lobster for their 20th anniversary.  :\


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I may have to drag the husband to an establishment like Red Lobster where I might find these delicious bacon-wrapped scallops.  (The Universe hates creatures of the sea and refuses to eat them)



Well, you saw the earlier post about sex and bacon, right?  I bet you could make him a deal...


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Well, you saw the earlier post about sex and bacon, right?  I bet you could make him a deal...




_Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had so much time
To sit and think about myself
And then there she was
Like double cherry pie
Yeah there she was
Like disco superfly
I smell sex and bacon here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream

Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had too much caffeine
And I was thinkin' 'bout myself
And then there she was
In platform double suede
Yeah there she was
Like disco lemonade
I smell sex and bacon here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Mama this surely is a dream
I smell sex and bacon here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this must be my dream_

-- with all apologies to Marcy Playground


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Aug 3, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> (The Universe hates creatures of the sea and refuses to eat them)




Smart man, he is. Us non-sea creature eaters will someday rule the world, and the eating of fish will be outlawed. You can still go fishing, just not eat any of them.


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> I smell sex and bacon here



You've got it!  I don't really know The_Universe, but if he's anything like me and 95% of all guys I've ever met, a little "hey, you wanna get _really_ lucky tonight?  All you need is to pick me up a take-out order of these bacon wrapped scallions from Red Lobster..." then before you even finish that sentence you'll hear his tires peeling out on the driveway as he races for the closest Red Lobster establishment he can find.


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> You've got it!  I don't really know The_Universe, but if he's anything like me and 95% of all guys I've ever met, a little "hey, you wanna get _really_ lucky tonight?  All you need is to pick me up a take-out order of these bacon wrapped scallions from Red Lobster..." then before you even finish that sentence you'll hear his tires peeling out on the driveway as he races for the closest Red Lobster establishment he can find.




Or, if you Queenie wants to shorten it, just be naked holding up a Red Lobster logo she printed off from the web.

Queen: You want this. *points to self* You go get this. *points to logo*


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> Smart man, he is. Us non-sea creature eaters will someday rule the world, and the eating of fish will be outlawed. You can still go fishing, just not eat any of them.




You should avoid going to the beach with me, CL.  When we were down at the coast last month I was pulling all manner of sea critters out of the sound and chowing down.  Clams, shrimp, fish (well they were too small but I baited the crab pot with them), basically if you slowed down to under 5 knots, I'd pull your ass out of the ocean, lightly kill you and eat you dipped in lemon butter.


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Aug 3, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> I say in all honesty that I would seriously consider leaving my wife for this woman.




So, that would then make you my step-father-in-law...   

Uh, no, I don't think my wife or father-in-law would like that very much. Plus, if you take that position, you will be responsible for painting and repairing things around my house. And we break stuff quite regularly.


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> You've got it!  I don't really know The_Universe, but if he's anything like me and 95% of all guys I've ever met, a little "hey, you wanna get _really_ lucky tonight?  All you need is to pick me up a take-out order of these bacon wrapped scallions from Red Lobster..." then before you even finish that sentence you'll hear his tires peeling out on the driveway as he races for the closest Red Lobster establishment he can find.



 *puts on her devious wife hat*

"Ohh, honey!  I was thinking..."


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Aug 3, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> You should avoid going to the beach with me, CL.  When we were down at the coast last month I was pulling all manner of sea critters out of the sound and chowing down.  Clams, shrimp, fish (well they were too small but I baited the crab pot with them), basically if you slowed down to under 5 knots, I'd pull your ass out of the ocean, lightly kill you and eat you dipped in lemon butter.




How exactly do you "lightly kill" something? 

I love the beach, I just have a problem with eating things that taste like it. I'm a veggie and meat person, myself.


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> Queen: You want this. *points to self* You go get this. *points to logo*




I'd like to think that The Universe is a bigger man than this...


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> I'd like to think that The Universe is a bigger man than this...




 

Rel, I will let this go. But just this one time. You know never to set me up like that on an Eric's grandma-friendly board!


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> How exactly do you "lightly kill" something?




With a "love tap."


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> How exactly do you "lightly kill" something?




That's when I refrigerate you for a while before I dump you alive into boiling water.  For critters with a central nervous system, it'll make em' sort of sluggish.  You know the old saying, "Don't bite the hand that eats you!"


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> Rel, I will let this go. But just this one time. You know never to set me up like that on an Eric's grandma-friendly board!




So much for my sinister plot to get you banned.


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> So much for my sinister plot to get you banned.




I _thought_ I heard an evil laugh coming from that direction. I thought it was just my boss.


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> I'd like to think that The Universe is a bigger man than this...



He'd like to think so too!


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> He'd like to think so too!




And thanks to Joshua for taking the heat for me.


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> He'd like to think so too!



 *smacks head*

Ugh!  Boys!


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> *smacks head*
> 
> Ugh!  Boys!




We can't help it. Some of us are just born that way and some cultivated it over years of experience.


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

Where is the "big" man himself, anyway?  I'd love to see his reaction to all of this...


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## Rodrigo Istalindir (Aug 3, 2005)

If God wanted us to eat fish, He wouldn't have put them under the water. 

Scallops, clams, oysters, on the other hand, He clearly intended for us to eat.  That's why He glues them to rocks, so they are easy to find.  Lobsters and crabs are permissible, as well, since He made them dumb enough to wander into traps.

In high school, we had a good marine biology program, with our own boat.  As a special field trip, we went out shrimping one night.  One of the guys insisted in grossing out all the girls (and half the guys) by eating live shrimp.


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## Rel (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Where is the "big" man himself, anyway?  I'd love to see his reaction to all of this...




Where do you think he is?!  He's driving, to Red Lobster.


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## fusangite (Aug 3, 2005)

Rodrigo Istalindir said:
			
		

> Scallops, clams, oysters, on the other hand, He clearly intended for us to eat.



Are you part of that medieval Jewish heresy that decided that God wanted us to do the _exact opposite_ of the Mosaic Law?


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

fusangite said:
			
		

> Are you part of that medieval Jewish heresy that decided that God wanted us to do the _exact opposite_ of the Mosaic Law?




He can't hear you. He's too busy eating his raw-beef milkshake.


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## Desdichado (Aug 3, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> He can't hear you. He's too busy eating his raw-beef milkshake.



Uhh... on second thought, nevermind.  That's too far, even for me...


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Uhh... on second thought, nevermind.  That's too far, even for me...




I was gonna say something but I figured you were just hallucinating again.


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## fusangite (Aug 3, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> He can't hear you. He's too busy eating his raw-beef milkshake.



Ideally, it should be a raw pork & scallop milkshake.


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

fusangite said:
			
		

> Ideally, it should be a raw pork & scallop milkshake.




This is true. But really any meat and dairy together is considered non-kosher. Throw in some scallops and you're just *asking* for trouble.


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## kenobi65 (Aug 3, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> But really any meat and dairy together is considered non-kosher.




Indeed; though I'm not Jewish, I've been told about that particular bit of kosher law.  "The cow can't give twice," is how I've heard it described.  It also makes the cheeseburger non-kosher (though, if you used fake cheese, maybe you could get away with it...  )


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## reveal (Aug 3, 2005)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Indeed; though I'm not Jewish, I've been told about that particular bit of kosher law.  "The cow can't give twice," is how I've heard it described.  It also makes the cheeseburger non-kosher (though, if you used fake cheese, maybe you could get away with it...  )




If you haven't tried them, get yourself some kosher hot dogs, specifically either Best Kosher or Hebrew National. They HAVE to be 100% beef or they wouldn't be kosher. I refuse to eat any other kind of hot dog because kosher dogs make all other hot dogs taste like what they truly are (and we all know what's in a non-kosher hot dog ).


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## BigFreekinGoblinoid (Aug 3, 2005)

At the risk of sounding strange and vulgar, I would like to offer a suggestion that sex be followed up by bacon in lieu of a tobacco product. Don't knock until you try it. 

-I'm not fat -    really!


edit- ok, not a new idea for this thread. But definitely a play tested one. 

how about this? :

Bacon wrapped chicken roasted on a skewer is fabulous

Even better than the Filet Mignon wrapped in bacon - they just complement each other so.


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## WayneLigon (Aug 3, 2005)

Bacon and beans! A strip of bacon added to the beans and cooked with them gives them a nice ham flavor. Cooked bacon crumbled over white beans can't be beat. Black-eyed peas and bacon. Makes you slap your momma.

Bacon bisquits. Just put the crisp, crisp bacon in between two bisquit halves. Mmm.

Bacon-wrapped shrimp, cooked in an iron skillet with some herbs and lime juice.
Really, nothing much can't be improved by the magic of bacon.

In fact I'm eating some _right now,_ so my ENWorld surfing experience has been improved by bacon.

My favorite Werewolf NPC: Macon Bacon, a Bone Gnawer who ran a truck stop in deepest rural Georgia, where you could get the All-Star All American Fried Breakfast: three eggs, five strips of bacon, sliced half a tater with the skin on and two Jimmy Dean sausage patties all fried up in the same iron skillet and served in that as well.


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## Rodrigo Istalindir (Aug 3, 2005)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Indeed; though I'm not Jewish, I've been told about that particular bit of kosher law.  "The cow can't give twice," is how I've heard it described.  It also makes the cheeseburger non-kosher (though, if you used fake cheese, maybe you could get away with it...  )




I was out at a job site one time, working on their network really late.  Got hungry, wandered across the way to a strip mall where I had seen a sign for pizza.  Walked in and ordered a large with sausage, pepperoni, and extra cheese.  Saw this absolutely horrified look on the face of the girl working the counter, who stammered out 'Uh, we don't have that.'

I'm thinking, 'What kind of lame pizza joint is this.'  Then I look around, and read the signage, and realize it's a *kosher* pizzeria.

Let me tell you, a pizza with some sort of psuedo-tofu-meat is just not right.


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## Wyn A'rienh (Aug 4, 2005)

*All Hail the Queen*

Queen Dopplepopolis, you are a Goddess.

I just finished eating dinner.  A yummy concoction of chicken breasts cut into strips that were wrapped with bacon and grilled, plopped in a hot dog bun, and topped with ranch dressing and diced tomatoes.  The whole family is in agreement - these things are amazing!  Even my daughters like them, and they are the pickiest eaters ever.  

Thanks!


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## kenobi65 (Aug 4, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> If you haven't tried them, get yourself some kosher hot dogs, specifically either Best Kosher or Hebrew National. They HAVE to be 100% beef or they wouldn't be kosher. I refuse to eat any other kind of hot dog because kosher dogs make all other hot dogs taste like what they truly are (and we all know what's in a non-kosher hot dog ).




Mmmm-hmmm, I love both brands.  When I go to White Sox games, I always pass up the "stock" hot dogs in favor of the Hebrew Nationals.

Speaking of what's in a non-kosher hot dog...

When I was an undergrad at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I took a market research class (actually, the first of several I took, as it wound up being what I got my Master's in).  We had a guest speaker one day: the director of market research for Oscar Mayer, which was (and still is) located in Madison.

He spent an hour discussing with us all the types of research they do: concept testing, product testing, tracking studies...in other words, all the kinds of things that I've now been doing for my career.

At the end of his presentation, he asked, "Any questions?"

My friend Mark said, "Yeah...what do you put in the hot dogs?"

His answer (and this is exactly how he said it): "Oh...good stuff...stuff you'd eat...meat."


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> His answer (and this is exactly how he said it): "Oh...good stuff...stuff you'd eat...meat."




 

My wife works for ConAgra, which is the company that makes Hebrew National hot dogs. I can get a pack for $2.50 when they're normally almost $4 at Wal-Mart.


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## Desdichado (Aug 4, 2005)

BigFreekinGoblinoid said:
			
		

> At the risk of sounding strange and vulgar, I would like to offer a suggestion that sex be followed up by bacon in lieu of a tobacco product. Don't knock until you try it.
> 
> -I'm not fat -    really!



Sounds like you're not having enough sex, then.

Anyone else think it odd that neither QD nor The_Universe have been seen in a few hours?


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Sounds like you're not having enough sex, then.
> 
> Anyone else think it odd that neither QD nor The_Universe have been seen in a few hours?




They're at Red Lobster scaring the clientelle.


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## Templetroll (Aug 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So a BLT without the L?  Sounds dandy to me.




I never remember to buy lettuce, so yeah!


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

Templetroll said:
			
		

> I never remember to buy lettuce, so yeah!




It sounds like you make a BDT: Bacon, DAMMIT I FORGOT THE LETTUCE AGAIN, and Tomato sandwich.


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## Impeesa (Aug 4, 2005)

Funny you should bring this up. I'm a big fan of the bacon. No, I'm not fat (that's me to the left). But I do have a theory, the Universal Bacon Goodness theorem. It states, basically, that everything can be made better with bacon. 

Allow me to indulge myself with a short anecdote:

Sometime last spring, my parents took my three youngest siblings away to Disneyland for a week and a half or so, leaving me and my next-eldest brother to fend for ourselves. As soon as they left, I had him go get the bacon (there was none in the house). He brought back three full packs. I decided we should test my theory. Over the next week (we ran out before they got back), we had bacon on:

-nachos (plain cheese and bacon)
-pizza (freezer pizzzas, added extra cheese and bacon)
-hot dogs (made whistle dogs.. mmm)
-quesadillas (cheese, bacon, some combination of peppers/onions/pineapple... don't recall exactly)
-sandwiches (made chicken clubhouses for the two of us plus a friend who was getting a ride to D&D)
-waffles (classic breakfast - our control group, as it were)
-eggs (see above)

I think there was more, but it's not coming to me now. We did some of those more than once, too. It got to the point where we weren't bothering to wash the pan, just scrape it out a few times a day. The theorem is confirmed so far. 

Here's an experiment for all of you: Go find your nearest McDonalds. See that "make it bacon" on the menu? Costs about 50 cents or something? It doesn't say "burgers only" or anything stupid like that. Order a milkshake, fries, and a vegetarian salad, and say "make it bacon." Don't specify which item unless they ask (in which case, say "all of it"). See if you can break the poor register biscuit's brain, and see which items (if any) end up with bacon on them. 

--Impeesa--

PS. w00t, post #1000


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## thalmin (Aug 4, 2005)

Crumbled bacon on/in oatmeal.
Bacon and tomato soup.

Strange but good: crumbled bacon on vanilla pudding.


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 4, 2005)

Wyn A'rienh said:
			
		

> Queen Dopplepopolis, you are a Goddess.
> 
> I just finished eating dinner.  A yummy concoction of chicken breasts cut into strips that were wrapped with bacon and grilled, plopped in a hot dog bun, and topped with ranch dressing and diced tomatoes.  The whole family is in agreement - these things are amazing!  Even my daughters like them, and they are the pickiest eaters ever.
> 
> Thanks!




  

I'm so glad that you enjoyed my favorite bacon-tastic dinner!!


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## Storm Raven (Aug 4, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> If you haven't tried them, get yourself some kosher hot dogs, specifically either Best Kosher or Hebrew National. They HAVE to be 100% beef or they wouldn't be kosher. I refuse to eat any other kind of hot dog because kosher dogs make all other hot dogs taste like what they truly are (and we all know what's in a non-kosher hot dog ).




Is it wrong that I like to put fried Lebanon baloney and cheese on my Hebrew National hot dogs? And bacon? (You can substitute fried pepperoni for the baloney if you wish).


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

Storm Raven said:
			
		

> Is it wrong that I like to put fried Lebanon baloney and cheese on my Hebrew National hot dogs? And bacon? (You can substitute fried pepperoni for the baloney if you wish).




Mmmmm..... Fried pepperoni..... Let me just clean up this drool.

Nope, nothing wrong with that. Sounds delicious.


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 4, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Anyone else think it odd that neither QD nor The_Universe have been seen in a few hours?






We were busy shopping for (and then cooking) bacon!!

(and yes that's what the kids are calling it now-a-days  )


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I'm so glad that you enjoyed my favorite bacon-tastic dinner!!




We're gonna try it this weekend.


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> We were busy shopping for (and then cooking) bacon!!
> 
> (and yes that's what the kids are calling it now-a-days  )




I thought it was called "making bacon." I must be out of touch. And I thought I was cool!


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

This is too funny:

Sexual Euphemisms That Won't Catch On


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## Rel (Aug 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I'm so glad that you enjoyed my favorite bacon-tastic dinner!!




I explained the recipe to my wife last night and she liked the idea too.  At the end I said, "And it's healthy too!"  My wife asked, "What makes you think that?!" to which I replied, "Well, it's got diced tomatos on it, doesn't it?"


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 4, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> I explained the recipe to my wife last night and she liked the idea too.  At the end I said, "And it's healthy too!"  My wife asked, "What makes you think that?!" to which I replied, "Well, it's got diced tomatos on it, doesn't it?"



 The Universe'll tell you that a slice of cheese in the bun will make it *really* healthy.  

Mmm... cheese and bacon.


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## The_Universe (Aug 4, 2005)

Wyn A'rienh said:
			
		

> Queen Dopplepopolis, you are a Goddess.
> 
> I just finished eating dinner.  A yummy concoction of chicken breasts cut into strips that were wrapped with bacon and grilled, plopped in a hot dog bun, and topped with ranch dressing and diced tomatoes.  The whole family is in agreement - these things are amazing!  Even my daughters like them, and they are the pickiest eaters ever.
> 
> Thanks!



 The "recipe," in case this little tidbit has been lost (or never mentioned) actually came from a Hutterite colony that my father (who sells seed and agricultural insurance in South Dakota) does business with. My family's been eating them for years, and when the Queen married in, she was introduced to them. 

Interestingly enough, my father's business relationship has brought this bacony joy to the world! 

I'll have to tell him!


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## The_Universe (Aug 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> The Universe'll tell you that a slice of cheese in the bun will make it *really* healthy.
> 
> Mmm... cheese and bacon.



 Also true - but I put cheese on anything that's even remotely like a hot dog.


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 4, 2005)

The_Universe said:
			
		

> The "recipe," in case this little tidbit has been lost (or never mentioned) actually came from a Hutterite colony that my father (who sells seed and agricultural insurance in South Dakota) does business with.




*The more you know...*

Hutterites (for those of you that don't know) are a religious group of people that live (communally) in the rural midwestern United States and Canada - they're kind of like the Amish with technology (but can only use it if it benefits the community).

They produce crops, food, and metal goods that some of the "outside" world can purchase - including those delicious little turkey breasts wrapped in bacon that inspired this thread.

You can learn more about the Hutterites here.


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

The_Universe said:
			
		

> Interestingly enough, my father's business relationship has brought this bacony joy to the world!
> 
> I'll have to tell him!




Something to put on his business card:

"The_Universe, Sr: Spreading bacony joy since 19XX"


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## reveal (Aug 4, 2005)

The_Universe said:
			
		

> Also true - but I put cheese on anything that's even remotely like a hot dog.




So ya like the smothered weiner, do ya?

or

What kind of fondue parties are *you* hosting?!


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## Bront (Aug 4, 2005)

I will have to see if I can dig up the recipee, but my mom has this concoction called "The Impossable Bacon Pie".

Basicly, it's Bisquick mix, a few well beaten eggs, bacon, and cheese (Origional recipie calls for swiss, but I prefer chedder).  Onions are optional.  Mix it togeather, toss it into a Pie pan, and bake for a while, and you get  what ends up being something like a scrambled egg with cheese and bacon pie with bacon bits in the crust as well (It bakes it's own crust, hense the name).  Very good.

Not all pizza, but Papa John's Pizza is better with bacon (Bacon and Pepperoni, ooo).


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## The_Universe (Aug 4, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> So ya like the smothered weiner, do ya?
> 
> or
> 
> What kind of fondue parties are *you* hosting?!



 Yiiiiiiiiikes.


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## taitzu52 (Aug 4, 2005)

Sometimes one of my favorite meat products is made with bacon, thereby cubing the un-Kosherness of it all.

As a true Marylander, I invoke the other pork product:

SCRAPPLE!
[RAPA]


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Aug 4, 2005)

taitzu52 said:
			
		

> Sometimes one of my favorite meat products is made with bacon, thereby cubing the un-Kosherness of it all.
> 
> As a true Marylander, I invoke the other pork product:
> 
> ...



 I saw scrapple in the store last night... I may live in Maryland, but I'll never understand the scrapple.


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## kenobi65 (Aug 4, 2005)

The_Universe said:
			
		

> The "recipe," in case this little tidbit has been lost (or never mentioned) actually came from a Hutterite colony




I thought the Hutterites preferred live frogs, which they keep in a fishbowl next to their hookah?


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## taitzu52 (Aug 4, 2005)

It's not there to be understood, it's there to be eaten.

"People with an appetite for law or for sausage should not watch either of them being made."
-Otto von Bismarck


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## The_Universe (Aug 4, 2005)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> I thought the Hutterites preferred live frogs, which they keep in a fishbowl next to their hookah?



 Trust me - you'd have heard a lot more if there was a colony of giant asexual slugs with vast criminal empires and voracious appetites for vice in South Dakota. At the very least, you'd have seen a tabloid headline.


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## kenobi65 (Aug 4, 2005)

The_Universe said:
			
		

> Trust me - you'd have heard a lot more if there was a colony of giant asexual slugs with vast criminal empires and voracious appetites for vice in South Dakota. At the very least, you'd have seen a tabloid headline.




Well, at least in South Dakota, there's be room for 'em.  You could lose a space transport full of Hutts in South Dakota, and no one would even notice. 

PS -- Hutts aren't asexual; they're hermaphroditic.  Over the course of their lifespan, they can change sex.


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## AuroraGyps (Aug 4, 2005)

Well, I've now added bacon to my grocery list, of which I'm going to go do later, thanks to this thread.   Of course, in this weather, I have no idea how I'm going to cook it since I found my fav. way was to bake it, on a cookie cooling rack, on a cookie tray.  I suppose I can nuke it.  I will not buy that pre-cooked bacon stuff since I bought it once and was pretty sick after (whether that was really the culprit, I don't know, but I'm not taking any chances). 
My fav. way of eating bacon is to just eat it.  If I'm feeling less lazy, I'll just put it on some bread with a bit of mayo.  Mmmmm!!!
Also, one of my fav. sayings is "makin' bacon naked".  I'm not saying I do so or not  , but it's fun to say, like some of my other fav. words like ameboa, vestibule, and so many others.


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## Desdichado (Aug 4, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> Something to put on his business card:
> 
> "The_Universe, Sr: Spreading bacony joy since 19XX"



Sounds like another sexual euphomism that won't catch on to me...


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## Desdichado (Aug 4, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> So ya like the smothered weiner, do ya?
> 
> or
> 
> What kind of fondue parties are *you* hosting?!



Now we know *why* he's called the Gay Master of his gaming group!


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## The_Universe (Aug 4, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Now we know *why* he's called the Gay Master of his gaming group!



Why does it never end?

Notoriety carries with it a price!


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## Seance (Aug 5, 2005)

Hmmm I think one of the best bacon-maddness dishes I have been exposed is the lovely and talented 'Hog tickler'. This is basically when you take a bratwurst and wrap in with one (or two) strips of bacon. Secure the bacon to the brat. Slap those suckers on the grill and wait for the magic to happen! Before you know it you too will be trying to dial 911 but your grease drenched fingers will keep slipping off the buttons--Enjoy!

 On a more somber note I would have to say that the best thing to eat with bacon is actually...well...people!!!


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## Arbiter of Wyrms (Aug 5, 2005)

semi-relevant Vegetarian rant:[sblock]I stopped eating meat fifteen years ago.

It hasn't even appealled for a long time.  I recently got some beef in my Taco Bell ordered and thought I was going to hurl.  Dead animals in my food . . . *shudder* yechhK!

Occasionally, some idiot thinks it would be funny to try to talk me into eating meat again: "But it's so good>  You have to eat meat to be healthy.  That's what God put animals here for, is for us to eat. What are you, some kind of sissy?" 

Naturally, this is no more effective than if I told all of you that dog feces were the best thing since d20.[/sblock]This thread makes me want to eat bacon and lets me imagine that I would enjoy it.  Thank you for the recipes, everyone.  I've subscribed to this thread so I can come back later for recipes for entertaining guests.


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