# Stress!!



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

So - I'm stressed out.  MEGA stressed out.  Like, my back is in knots, my stomach is revolting, my head won't stop pounding, I feel like I'm drowning stressed.  Trying to balance work, school, bills, my marriage, and my dwindling social life is literally making me sick... and I *suck* at dealing with stress.

Last week, as I used my psychic mind powers to look into the future, I knew that things were going to start to get bad this week.  Papers are coming due, I need to work a few extra hours to make up for lost hours last week, and my preliminary bibliography for my thesis is due a week from tomorrow.  Thinking that I would really be doing myself some good, I took Wednesday off of everything and sat at home trying to get my life prioritized.  It didn't work.  The day that I took off is coming back to haunt me and I've got an insane amount of work to do before Thursday and I'm officially freaking out.

Nothing bad has happen, yet... but I'm teetering on the edge.  If I can make it through to next Wednesday, everything will blow over and things should be fine.  However, getting there will nearly kill me.

So - tell me EN World - how do YOU deal with stress?  Give me some tips to stay organized, calm, and rational as I attempt to conquer the coming week.  I need it!


----------



## Belen (Oct 4, 2005)

I get this way sometimes with work.  The trick to remember is that once you start something, then you'll be fine.  Just pick something and do it.  Then move on to the next task.  Stop worrying about the bills or the marriage and focus on what you can get done now.  I am sure that ol' Universe can forage for himself for a few days, or take a stack of bills and get them in the mail.

Remember that there is no such thing as stress.  Stress is just another name for fear.  You'll get everything done.  Just choose someplace to begin.


----------



## Cthulhu's Librarian (Oct 4, 2005)

Oh, you don't want to know how I deal with stress. Really.   

When I get stressed, I get angry, shout at people when I'm driving, yell at my wife (I'm sorry, Laura), and am generally a prick. Then the day before stuff needs to be done, I somehow manage to do everything, often going with no sleep. Then I crash for a few days and start the cycle all over. So if you want to know how NOT to deal with stress, there you go.


----------



## IronWolf (Oct 4, 2005)

Taking a deep breath and then trying to clear your head to focus on one thing to get done can help.  You can't accomplish all tasks at once, but you can accomplish one task at a time.  Order your tasks and start in on them, keeping the others our of your head the best you can while you work on the current task at hand.

Or perhaps a homeopathic solution.


----------



## JimAde (Oct 4, 2005)

I know it doesn't sound like it will help, but maybe you should do something else briefly.  I don't mean a vacation, I mean a walk, or vollyeball or whatever kind of physical activity you like.  Martial arts are always good for stress-reduction.

Even a couple hours a week will give you something to look forward to that's not THAT STUFF that has to get done.  

Of course, I talk big.  I haven't scared up the time to do this myself, but I didn't see kids on your list, so maybe you can let everyone else fend for themselves for an hour.


----------



## Umbran (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So - tell me EN World - how do YOU deal with stress?  Give me some tips to stay organized, calm, and rational as I attempt to conquer the coming week.  I need it!




Organization is terribly dependant on your own needs, and what needs to stay organized, so I dunno how much help I can give. there.  Other than to suggest prioritizing.  Work and School are high priority, and can be put to a schedule.  Bills have to be paid on dates.  Everything else is negotiable.  Avoid over-scheduling with stuff that doesn't *need* to be done.  

Staying calm and rational, however, I'm pretty good at. 

First - if you have a support structure, _use it_.  Part of being a friend or part of a family is partnership - picking up the slack one one of you is too busy to manage it themselves.  Do not underestimate the value of having someone else doing the dishes and housework when you're busy.  

Next - a general tenet that can be said many ways, but is perhaps best summarized as "Don't sweat the small stuff, and remember that most of it is small stuff."  Really.  If you are literally getting ill (and I have seen that happen) for goodness sake drop something!  

Socializing does nothing positive for you if it causes more stress than it allows you to release.  So opt for social activities that call for less travelling, cat herding, and organizing on your part.  Do not stress over dwindling social time in the short term.  Real friends will still be there when you have time for them.


----------



## Acquana (Oct 4, 2005)

*Mmmmm back massage ....*

I think you'll be fine.  Just remember, your marriage should never have to be something that needs to be "balanced," should it?  You're both there to support each other and all that jazz, not to add to each other's stress, right?  You want to know my favorite stress reliver?  Having my boyfriend in the room with me while I work on random stuff, and before bed a nice back massage.  mmmmmmm


----------



## Old One (Oct 4, 2005)

*Exercise*

If I didn't exercise [at least] a couple of hours a week, I would probably end up a despised mass murderer !  Nothing clears my head better than a brisk hour long walk-run-bike ride.  If I have a lot on my mind, I actually prefer a good walk (since I have to pay more attention to what I am doing when running/biking) and use the time for inner dialogue, organizing my thoughts and making decisions.  Immediately after finishing, I jot down 2-3 key things I need to focus on/accomplish.

*"Take 5"*

Another trick I use with success is taking 5 minutes before I go to bed to review my "must dos" for the next day and 5 minutes when I get up to focus on key things that must be accomplished that day.  This is complete quiet time...no tv, computer, spouse talking, kids, etc.  I actually usually hide out in the bathroom and multitask while taking my 5 minutes.  Having a written list helps.

*Mental Break*

If I can't or don't have time to exercise and am feeling overwhelmed by events, I try to find a quiet place, put on some relaxing music (Ipods are great for this) and try to empty out my head.  I have 1-2 songs I really like for this and I just try to let everything go.  If you have ever done any biofeedback exercises, a goal here is to get you heart rate way down.  I can usually hit 48-50 BPM within a couple of minutes.  After 5 minutes or so, I use the "Take 5" trick above to examine all the things that are pulling at me and jettison the non-critical issues.  Within 10 minutes...I am calm and back on track.

~ OO


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

My problem is... when I get to this point... I usually just collapse into a screaming, crying mess and get absolutely nothing done because I'm so focused on the fact that I'm never going to get all of these things done.  It's totally the logical way to do it!  *rolls eyes*

[mini-pep rally]
I am *not* going to let that happen to me again.  I'm going to handle all of this (maybe not gracefully)... but I'm going to get it all done, dammit![/mini-pep rally]


----------



## GlassJaw (Oct 4, 2005)

Hmm, I've always dealt fairly well with stress.  If I have a laundry list of stuff to do, I always do the easy stuff first.  That way, it looks like you are making progress.  This works great at work or at school.  If you can tell your boss all the stuff you did, no matter how little work it actually was, it still sounds like you are being productive.    

Another thing I always tell myself is not to panic.  Make a list of what you have to do, do the easiest stuff first, and then see what happens.  There are times when you just can't get everything done or get everything done as well as you would have liked.  It happens.  In most cases, the world isn't going to end.  It may not seem like it, but life will go on.


----------



## BiggusGeekus (Oct 4, 2005)

Make a list of what you have to do.  Doesn't matter how long it is.  Doesn't matter if you keep adding to it.  Just have something to keep you focused.  Then just do the job you have in front of you.

Exercise is also really good.  It does a lot of things for you.


----------



## GlassJaw (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> My problem is... when I get to this point... I usually just collapse into a screaming, crying mess and get absolutely nothing done because I'm so focused on the fact that I'm never going to get all of these things done.  It's totally the logical way to do it!  *rolls eyes*




You need to chill girl!  Deep breaths, deep breaths.    

Make a list.  Now.  Seriously.  Post it here and we'll help you prioritize.  

Remember GlassJaw's Rules for Dealing with Stress (I should write a book):

1.  Make a list!  At the top of your list, write "Make a list".  When you finish your list, scratch off #1.  See, you're already making progress!
2.  Do the easy stuff on your list first.
3.  Eliminate non-essentials.  Don't over-extend yourself.  Sometimes you just have to say "no".  DVR is good for this.
4.  Take breaks.  Breaks are good.
5.  Sometimes you just won't be able to get everything done.  That's ok.  Life will go on.


----------



## Jdvn1 (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So - tell me EN World - how do YOU deal with stress?  Give me some tips to stay organized, calm, and rational as I attempt to conquer the coming week.  I need it!



I'm probably an extreme optimist, but I always think things are going to turn out okay.

Whenever I have a lot of stuff to do, I just work fast to try to get it done. If I know I'm not going to get it done, I figure it's not a huge deal. I try to do the important things first. If everything's important, I do the faster stuff first to have more stuff done by the deadline. If things don't get done, it's not the end of the world. If a class goes badly and there's no way I can still do decently in the class, I'll see if I can drop the class and try again later.

Dealing with money is harder for me because I'm paranoid about bills. I try to make sure I always have enough money to cover bills. I've only had to ask for loans or borrow money from friends on very very few occasions, and I always make sure to pay them back within a week or two.

Basically: Things turn out okay. There's always something you can do if things go badly.

At least, that's what's ingrained in _my_ head. I've always worked well under pressure.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

GlassJaw said:
			
		

> Make a list. Now. Seriously. Post it here and we'll help you prioritize.




(1) Make a List.  
(2) Revise my Honors English Personal Narrative. Due 10/6.
(3) Get my reader's card at the National Archives before 10/12.
(4) Using my new reader's card, find at least 5 more primary sources for my senior capstone (aka, thesis).
(5) Compile sources into bibliography for my senior capstone. Due 10/12.
(6) Write my 4-5 page response paper for Ethics in the Professions. Due 10/6.
(7) Call the MD DOT to work out what's up with my registration and what else I have to do to get it all switched over.
(8) Go to campus and pick up my reading packed from Professor Norris' office.
(9) Send notice to Fairfax County, VA about my change of address/find out how to do it online.
(10) Sleep.

The things that have due dates have due dates next to them, but a lot of the tasks are dependent upon completing other things.  Like finding additionally primary sources for my thesis - I need to go to the National Archives to do that...

Whew.  I'm feeling better already.


----------



## EricNoah (Oct 4, 2005)

Taking big tasks and breaking them down into little manageable chunks might help you feel less overwhelmed.


----------



## Lobo Lurker (Oct 4, 2005)

Your wife is a resource. Don't be afraid to use her. Let her know that you're really stressed and why. Then tell her what you need (whether it be silence, a backrub, whatever).

Then, as other stated. Just do one thing at a time. Before you know it, you'll be finished. 

I find that leaving the house and walking around outside for a good 20 minutes really helps a lot.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

So... is there a medical explination for how exercise can make you feel less stressed?  Currently, I think "making time for 30 minutes of exercise?! I may end up not sleeping tonight... how can I make time for exercising?!"


----------



## DungeonmasterCal (Oct 4, 2005)

I sit in the dark and brood over things and generally try to avoid human contact.  I get pretty hard to get along with when I'm stressed.


----------



## Jdvn1 (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So... is there a medical explination for how exercise can make you feel less stressed?  Currently, I think "making time for 30 minutes of exercise?! I may end up not sleeping tonight... how can I make time for exercising?!"



 Maybe being exercising makes you too tired to be stressed? Like a forced muscle relaxant?


----------



## Xath (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So... is there a medical explination for how exercise can make you feel less stressed?  Currently, I think "making time for 30 minutes of exercise?! I may end up not sleeping tonight... how can I make time for exercising?!"




For me, excercise gets the juices pumping, and makes me feel more refreshed.  If you feel as though you'd be wasting time, prop up a book you need to read on you're exercycle and knock out two things at once.  

I find that after I go to the gym, it's always easier to do homework.


----------



## Old One (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So... is there a medical explination for how exercise can make you feel less stressed?  Currently, I think "making time for 30 minutes of exercise?! I may end up not sleeping tonight... how can I make time for exercising?!"




Actually, yes.

Snipped from a medical article on exercise and stress:

*"It improves blood flow to the brain, bringing sugars and oxygen, which may be needed when you are thinking intensely. When you think hard, the neurons of your brain function more intensely. As they do this, they build up toxic waste products, which cause foggy thinking in the short term, and can damage the brain in the long term. By exercising you speed the flow of blood through your brain, moving these waste products faster. You also improve this flow so that even when you are not exercising, waste is eliminated more efficiently. It can cause release of chemicals called endorphins into the blood stream. These give you a feeling of happiness and well-being.

Muscle tension increases during stress, and can cause a wide array of stress-related musculoskeletal problems, as well as general feelings of fatigue, and mental and emotional stress. Physical activity, on the other hand, leads to muscle relaxation. A feeling of physical relaxation characterizes a good workout's afterglow. After working hard, muscles relax. One study measuring the electrical activity of muscle found that activities such as walking, jogging and bicycling decrease muscle tension by more than 50 percent for up to 90 minutes after exercise. Physical relaxation translates into mental relaxation as well. This exercise afterglow of relaxation is an important part of exercise's anti-stress value for many people.

Rhythmic exercises such as walking, running, rowing and swimming increase alpha-wave activity in the brain. The electrical activity of the brain can be monitored in the laboratory using an instrument called an electroencephalogram (EEG). Alpha waves are associated with a calm mental state, such as that produced by meditation or chanting. The rhythmic breathing that occurs during some forms of exercise also contributes to an increase in alpha-wave activity. Rhythmic activity performed to music may be stress-relieving in other ways as well.

Some research suggests that regular exercise of moderate intensity may provide a sort of dress rehearsal for stress. Several studies have found that people who exercise regularly have a less physical response to laboratory stressors, such as difficult mental arithmetic tests. Other studies have found that physically fit subjects recover more quickly than sedentary peers from stressors such as cold exposure or emotional frustration. Your response to a session of moderately vigorous exercise resembles your response to stress--elevated metabolic rate, cardiac output, energy substrate levels, muscle tension, stress hormones, etc. Regular exercise may "train " the body to cope with and recover more quickly from emotional stress, as well as exercise stress."*

I find everything above to be very true...I can really tell the difference in my mental acuity if I go more than a couple of days without exercise...my mind isn't as sharp, I become more irritable and snap at people much more readily.

~ OO


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> (1) Make a List.
> (2) Revise my Honors English Personal Narrative. Due 10/6.
> (3) Get my reader's card at the National Archives before 10/12.
> (4) Using my new reader's card, find at least 5 more primary sources for my senior capstone (aka, thesis).
> ...




(11) Make time for the rowing machine.


----------



## Jdvn1 (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> (11) Make time for the rowing machine.



 If (1) was "Make a Time Machine," it'd be a lot easier.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

Jdvn1 said:
			
		

> If (1) was "Make a Time Machine," it'd be a lot easier.



 TRUE DAT!


----------



## Thornir Alekeg (Oct 4, 2005)

Well, as someone who is one week away from completing a 12 week program in stress management, I can say that there is good advice here.  

On exercise: I does help, but don't add to the stress by feeling you have to do a 30 minute workout daily. Instead, when you are feeling overwhelmed and usually end up vegging in front of the TV with a bowl of ice cream, or some of that sort, take 15 minutes for a brisk walk.



			
				Queen D said:
			
		

> Last week, as I used my psychic mind powers to look into the future, I knew that things were going to start to get bad this week. Papers are coming due, I need to work a few extra hours to make up for lost hours last week, and my preliminary bibliography for my thesis is due a week from tomorrow. Thinking that I would really be doing myself some good, I took Wednesday off of everything and sat at home trying to get my life prioritized. It didn't work. The day that I took off is coming back to haunt me and I've got an insane amount of work to do before Thursday and I'm officially freaking out.
> 
> Nothing bad has happen, yet... but I'm teetering on the edge. If I can make it through to next Wednesday, everything will blow over and things should be fine. However, getting there will nearly kill me.




This is called cognitive distortion.  You are predicting the future, something that cannot be done reliably (if you can, drop the thesis and open a psychic studio).  Don't predict how bad things will be, it accomplishes nothing.  For the same reason, try not to look back at Wednesday with regret.  Live in the moment.  

Making a list helps, but only if you don't obsess about the length of the list etc.  Take the tasks one at a time.  Focus on the task at hand.  We live in an age where multi-tasking is considered the norm, but the human mind is not an efficient multi-tasker.  

Stop for one minute (more if you can, 10-15 is ideal).  Breathe slowly and deeply from the abdomen, focusing on your breath.  Try and quiet your mind.  Allow intruding thoughts to slip by and keep focused on your breathing.  It takes practice, but it can really work.  

Last thing: have a positive outlook.  Negativity breeds more stress.  Appreciate your accomplishments and find other small things to celebrate - enjoy the green light you made rather than rant about the red light you got caught at.  

Dang, I'm starting to sound like some new-age hippie.  I guess this program has worked.


----------



## Warrior Poet (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> (3) Get my reader's card at the National Archives before 10/12.
> (4) Using my new reader's card, find at least 5 more primary sources for my senior capstone (aka, thesis).
> (5) Compile sources into bibliography for my senior capstone. Due 10/12.



Congrats, you're already on your way to success.  I feel I should note, just from a quick scan of your list:

If your bibliography is due on 10/12, and you need 5 more sources for the capstone (which means, I'm guessing, 5 more sources for your bibliography), then you need to get the reader's card at the NA significantly before 10/12 (it seems to me) in order to have time to make sure you get the sources.  I'd move number (3) up to, say 10/8, which will leave you some research room, because as you already know, even if you schedule things, other things do come up, and it's always nice to have some room to take up slack.

Hope that helps.

Warrior Poet

P.S.  Don't forget to find time to spend either by yourself, or with others, depending on how you "recharge" your batteries.  It can be anything:  exercise, reading a magazine article (I'd stay away from TV, as that can too easily suck me in, but you may be different), carrying pumpkins to the car   , listening to some music, watching the sunset, listening to the water at the ocean, etc.  Also, don't forget to EAT!  It's easy to eat poorly when highly stressed, and your body needs nutrients because when you're stressed, you're tapping those resources more heavily than other times, so you need to make sure your food intake remains balanced and healthy.  Don't eat too heavy, and don't forget breakfast (fruit is good, as are grains, starts the metabolism going and gets your body ready for the rest of the day).  Good luck!


----------



## Warrior Poet (Oct 4, 2005)

Thornir Alekeg said:
			
		

> You are predicting the future, something that cannot be done reliably (if you can, drop the thesis and open a psychic studio).



Or better yet, start investing in the stock market.



			
				Thornir Alekeg said:
			
		

> Don't predict how bad things will be, it accomplishes nothing.  For the same reason, try not to look back at Wednesday with regret.  Live in the moment.



Excellent advice.

It goes along with something else that is often counterintuitive:  when you have to speed up, slow down.  Sounds wacky.  But you're going to work better if you slow down and concentrate on what you're working on right now, and get it done properly, than trying to rush through it anticipating the next task.  Whoops, Thornir already said this, note below:



			
				Thornir Alekeg said:
			
		

> Making a list helps, but only if you don't obsess about the length of the list etc.  Take the tasks one at a time.  Focus on the task at hand.  We live in an age where multi-tasking is considered the norm, but the human mind is not an efficient multi-tasker.
> 
> Stop for one minute (more if you can, 10-15 is ideal).  Breathe slowly and deeply from the abdomen, focusing on your breath.  Try and quiet your mind.  Allow intruding thoughts to slip by and keep focused on your breathing.  It takes practice, but it can really work.




Wise, wise!  Good luck, and hang in there.  You'll do fine.

Warrior Poet


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

Okay.

I'm leaving work after I post this message.  I will be stopping by campus to pick up a packet of readings and calling the MD DOT while I travel.

After that, it's off to the National Archives to get my reader's card.  I can't do any research tonight because the last pull time is at 3pm.

When I get home, I will revise my honors English paper (if it's really good, I can win a $200 prize from the literature department!).  After that, it's time to start working on my Ethics paper - will have a lot of reading and outlining to do before I can actually start writing, but if I can get the reading done, the paper should come very quickly tomorrow night.  Hopefully, The Universe will take care of the crap with Fairfax County, VA.

*deep breath*

I'll update later tonight and you'll all know if I actually accomplished these goals, or not!


----------



## Jdvn1 (Oct 4, 2005)

Much luck.


----------



## Tinner (Oct 4, 2005)

I've always found "pumpkin carrying" to be a very effective means of stress relief.
Seriously, when I'm freaking out over a deadline or work problem, I know I need to take some time out for a little R&R (adult or otherwise) with the wife.
Puts things in perspective, and counts as 30 minutes (or more!) of exercise.


----------



## Impeesa (Oct 4, 2005)

Tinner said:
			
		

> I've always found "pumpkin carrying" to be a very effective means of stress relief.
> Seriously, when I'm freaking out over a deadline or work problem, I know I need to take some time out for a little R&R (adult or otherwise) with the wife.
> Puts things in perspective, and counts as 30 minutes (or more!) of exercise.




Man, I was about to say the same thing. Supposedly it's even more effective for the women, though. At the, ah, culmination of the female's efforts, parts of her brain relating to things like anxiety and awareness completely shut down. 

--Impeesa--


----------



## nakia (Oct 4, 2005)

I found _Getting Things Done_ by George Allen to be really helpful for me in getting organized and thus reducing stress.  The basic premise is getting stuff out of your head (where it causes stress) and into a trustworthy system.  The book gives you the system, which I find pretty simple and intuitive for the most part.  I'm still struggling to compeltely implement the system, but even the bit I have integrated has helped me out a lot.

Example: the Two Minute Rule -- when you take something out of your "inbox", first ask yourself "Is it actionable?" (do I need to DO anything related to it).  If it is, and you can take that action in two minutes, then do it then.  That way it's out of your head forever.

Of course you may feel too busy to read the book, but I think it's worth a couple of hours of your time.

(Man, I feel like I'm the cult spokesperson or something, but it really did help!)


----------



## reveal (Oct 4, 2005)

nakia said:
			
		

> Example: the Two Minute Rule




I sure hope you and Tinner aren't talking about the same thing.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

UPDATE:  Things may well get put on hold for a while.  The Universe's grandfather is really not doing well and we'll probably be making a trip back to South Dakota this weekend for a funeral.

My plans to go places (campus and the National Archives) have been put on hold as my car won't start.  I stopped at Safeway and, when I came back out, I turned the key, and it won't go.  This is the second time this has happened.  I took it into the shop before, and they said that there's nothing wrong with it... for some reason - when the vehicle has been running for a while and gets shut off, it decides it's not going to start for an hour or so.  I thought it was my starter, but the mechanic says no, it's not.

So - while I should be arriving at home from completing two of my tasks - I am arriving home from a walk (which I suppose is the exercise part of my day), but am feeling even more overwhelmed than before.


ARG!! Now I'm sad *and* stressed out!!!


----------



## reveal (Oct 4, 2005)

Wish I had some advice, but I don't so here.


----------



## Xath (Oct 4, 2005)

I have three books here which may be of use to you in your Ethics paper.  

Taking Sides: Clashing Views on Controversial Bioethical Issues
Case Studies in Biomedical Research Ethics
And a packet which is full of essays, papers, and resourses all about ethics.  There's even a chapter on professions and professionals.

It's geared towards bioethics, but the chapter introductions have information that can be applied to any ethics.  Since I live all of 5 minutes away from you, if you'd like to use any of them, let me know and I'll drop them off.  It'll give me a chance to see your fancy new apartment.


----------



## GlassJaw (Oct 4, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> ARG!! Now I'm sad *and* stressed out!!!




When it rains it pours as they say.  Looks like you've got a string of pretty bad luck on your hands.  I would say think about contacting some of your professors and see if you can get an extension on anything.  Family comes first IMO.

Good luck.   :\


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

Xath said:
			
		

> I have three books here which may be of use to you in your Ethics paper.




Thank, Gertie.  But - it's just a response paper for my Ethical Issues in the Professions class.  Nothing to do with bioethics.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 4, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> Wish I had some advice, but I don't so here.



 Thanks, reveal.


----------



## Rel (Oct 4, 2005)

Stress is a part of life and you'll have to find a way to effectively cope with it that works for you at some point.  BUT, do yourself a favor and try your best not to take on too much at once in the first place.

The fact is this:  You're young, you're married (to a pretty great guy from what I've seen), you're in school, you're working.  That's starting to sound like a lot.  Could you take one less class than you're taking and still be making progress toward your educational goals?  Could you work 5 less hours a week and still pay the bills?

Because I'll tell you this:  None of that stuff is as important to your husband as you being a happy, loving wife.  Everybody has a bad day once in a while but if you are having a lot of them in a row and are always leaning on your partner for support, that'll put more stress on your relationship and soon that becomes a problem too.  If that is happening then you are simply asking too much of yourself.

Think about whether you are capable of doing everything you're doing and still being a happy, loving person that a great guy would love being married to.


----------



## sniffles (Oct 5, 2005)

Everyone handles stress differently, so you have to find the way that works best for you. 
I do question why Sleep is #10 on your list, though. Sleep is not an item to squeeze in wherever you can. Sleep is one of the most important things we do in our lives. If you don't get enough sleep you really _will_ be stressed out. Not to mention you probably won't do as well on your papers or get as much out of your research if you're sleep-deprived. I'd recommend moving sleep to #2 on your list.  

Oops, now I've probably made you stress about getting enough sleep!   

Whoever said "Don't sweat the small stuff" is right - most everything is small stuff. Your health is more important than anything else.


----------



## Thornir Alekeg (Oct 5, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> My plans to go places (campus and the National Archives) have been put on hold as my car won't start.  I stopped at Safeway and, when I came back out, I turned the key, and it won't go.  This is the second time this has happened.  I took it into the shop before, and they said that there's nothing wrong with it... for some reason - when the vehicle has been running for a while and gets shut off, it decides it's not going to start for an hour or so.  I thought it was my starter, but the mechanic says no, it's not.
> 
> ARG!! Now I'm sad *and* stressed out!!!




Sorry to hear this, and good thoughts for the Universe's grandfather.  

What kind of car do you drive?  Is it by chance a Subaru Outback?  I know someone who had one of those and complained of the exact same thing.  Tomorrow I'll ask her if they ever figured out what was wrong with the car, maybe its the same as your problem.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 5, 2005)

sniffles said:
			
		

> Everyone handles stress differently, so you have to find the way that works best for you.
> I do question why Sleep is #10 on your list, though. Sleep is not an item to squeeze in wherever you can. Sleep is one of the most important things we do in our lives. If you don't get enough sleep you really _will_ be stressed out. Not to mention you probably won't do as well on your papers or get as much out of your research if you're sleep-deprived. I'd recommend moving sleep to #2 on your list.
> 
> Oops, now I've probably made you stress about getting enough sleep!
> ...



 My list was prioritized... just a general list of stuff I need to get done.  I *need* my sleep, it's very important.  I'm bipolar and if I don't get my sleep, you DO NOT want to be around me the next day.


----------



## reveal (Oct 5, 2005)

Here's some advice I figured I'd throw out there. At this time, both you and your husband are going to be very stressed; you with work/school/etc. and he with work (new job and all)/family. It's very, VERY important that you and he continue to talk to each other and tell each other how you feel. Keeping it bottled up will help no one. The lines of communication must stay open at this time for everyone's sake.


----------



## Xath (Oct 5, 2005)

If you need anything, you've still got friends who'll give you all the support you need.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 5, 2005)

Well, last night didn't go quite as planned.  I didn't get to the National Archives or to AU's campus, but there were bigger things happening.  The Universe was pretty bummed, so I decided that we needed to go snag a bite to eat and relax for a little while together.

After that, I could start on homework... and I did.  I got my paper revised and it is looking quite good, if I do say so myself.  One of the best papers I've written in my entire college career, as a matter of fact.  So, feeling pretty good about that.

Then comes the bad news, I look at my syllabus last night before I go to bed for my thesis class.  Guess what?  My bibliography is due TODAY, not next Wednesday (and I didn't even freak out!).  Got up early this morning to start working on it.  It's totally half-ass, but I've got a meeting with the prof today before class begins and so I'll be discussing the issues with her and, hopefully, not getting my butt chewed (too much) for having a lack of primary sources.

My goal now: survive.  If I can get my ethics paper done before 1am tomorrow morning, I should be sitting pretty... however; all of this greatly depends on The Universe's grandfather... when he passes, we go home.  Luckily, my teachers seem to understand that.


----------



## Warrior Poet (Oct 5, 2005)

Good luck with everything.

Warrior Poet


----------



## sniffles (Oct 5, 2005)

It's got to be tough trying to juggle all those priorities and be so far from home. Keep up the good work and remember, we're all rooting for you!! (Us lady gamers have got to stick together!)


----------



## Henry (Oct 5, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> The Universe's grandfather is really not doing well and we'll probably be making a trip back to South Dakota this weekend for a funeral.




My condolences; I've been through this many times (both my parents & grandparents, and wife's grandparents are all deceased after protracted illnesses), and it's a wrenching thing to go through when life is going full tilt.



> ...my car won't start.




One of my cars has the exact same problem - the problem may be either in the electrical system from starter to battery and back, or the ignition switch. If I play with the switch multiple times (on/off) and with all devices off such as radio and air, it starts. Just some suggestions for immediate use to avoid a towtruck.



> My bibliography is due TODAY, not next Wednesday




Ouch! Glad to hear you took in in stride, though.



> If I can get my ethics paper done before 1am tomorrow morning, I should be sitting pretty... however; all of this greatly depends on The Universe's grandfather... when he passes, we go home. Luckily, my teachers seem to understand that.




Fortunately, you have understanding professors, and this may help you in the long term.

Here's to hoping you survive, and that The Universe's grandfather is in no pain, whatever is happening. Take care, guys.


----------



## FickleGM (Oct 5, 2005)

Well, it appears as if you have all of the advice that one could hope for (EN World is a great community).  It also appears that you are following said advice, which will help you achieve your goals.  So, in an effort to help, I will only add this:

*If you find that you cannot handle a situation, don't think that you are less of a person because of it.  That will only cause you to avoid seeking help and bottling things up.  Be sure to ask for help whenever needed (teachers, work associates, boss, husband, etc.).  Be sure to admit to yourself and to others when you have taken on too much.*

I am in the midst of similar experiences (even down to the car problems) and because I don't want people to think that I am not good enough have become very depressed (very bad thoughts).  I don't want to hi-jack your thread with my sob story, but I will say thank you to everyone who has offered advice to Queen_D (she's a sweetheart and really deserves all of the friends that she has), for I will also be using this advice as well.


----------



## Thornir Alekeg (Oct 6, 2005)

Good morning Queen_D.

My friend with the car problems told me that they finally figured out it was a leaky cam seal (along with a faulty sensor) that was causing the problems.  It was not a cheap fix, but once it was done the problem went away and has not returned.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 6, 2005)

We've learned that my car's problem is just a very old battery (Henry hit the nail on the head there!).  I've got to get it replaced over the weekend sometime.  And for now, I just have to keep the battery jumper-thingy with me at all times... just in case.


----------



## BlackSilver (Oct 6, 2005)

Make plans to get a massage.

So many of us get bogged down by things we can not control, or things that are just to far from our reach.  Let the things you can handle right now be the ones on your mind.  If you are waiting for a response from someone else then place that item from your mind and concentrate on the things you can accomplish right now.

Take a nap.  A twenty minute nap when you are tired will focus your mind and help you a great deal.

Talk to your husband about taking care of things- switch cars with him until the battery problem is taken care of that way you don't get stranded somewhere (which can create more stress).

Go to a comedy club.  Laugh a little.

We all see that you haven't got enough hours in the day, but you need to get away from stressers or you implode and what good will that do your family, your friends, and your education.

Repeat the semister.  Frequently I slow working on my classes because they are just getting to stressful, and I repeat them (no matter the grade- and yes, I have repeated classes that I got an A in because of stress).  It is okay to repeat, yes the cost is increased and there is a delay in my degree, but at least I am learning the stuff and not damaging my health.

Take a moment for you.  

I wish you the best, Queen.  You are a sweet and kind person.


----------



## Rel (Oct 6, 2005)

BlackSilver said:
			
		

> Make plans to get a massage.




Great idea.  In fact I will *personally* offer to give Queen D a full body massage when next I see her.  And trust me when I say that I've got madd skilz in that department.


----------



## BlackSilver (Oct 6, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> Great idea.  In fact I will *personally* offer to give Queen D a full body massage when next I see her.  And trust me when I say that I've got madd skilz in that department.




I try to encourage my clients to get a massage every other week.  Higher stress and more physically active people need them more often.  It truly helps to break up the blockages in the body's energy system the more massages you get the better off you will be with your health and dealing with that stress.

Being as Queen is *so* stressed, I would suggest a couple different sessions thirty minutes on the back then a couple hours later thirty minutes on the legs and another a few hours later on the feet, then repeat the following day.  Otherwise she might be made sick or have some reoccuring physical knots stress (this is only if she has not had a massage in some time).


----------



## Rel (Oct 6, 2005)

BlackSilver said:
			
		

> I try to encourage my clients to get a massage every other week.  Higher stress and more physically active people need them more often.  It truly helps to break up the blockages in the body's energy system the more massages you get the better off you will be with your health and dealing with that stress.
> 
> Being as Queen is *so* stressed, I would suggest a couple different sessions thirty minutes on the back then a couple hours later thirty minutes on the legs and another a few hours later on the feet, then repeat the following day.  Otherwise she might be made sick or have some reoccuring physical knots stress (this is only if she has not had a massage in some time).




*Rel feverishly jots notes down on the topic and buys a JUMBO sized bottle of massage oil.*


I'm kidding of course (though I must admit that I prefer flirting with Queen D than Joshua Dyal and reveal, so she's got that going for her).  But I do know a lot about massage.  My mother has been a massage therapist for over 20 years and my wife is a physical therapist.  The tensions relieving massage skills that I knew back in high school and college was popular with the ladies then and I'm still not too bad at it now.

I thought about pursuing a career as a massage therapist but I just can't see being terribly successful at it as a guy.  After all, most dudes would rather have a woman massage them and most dudes would rather have a woman massage their wives and girlfriends.


----------



## DaveStebbins (Oct 8, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> My mother has been a massage therapist for over 20 years and my wife is a physical therapist.  The tensions relieving massage skills that I knew back in high school and college was popular with the ladies then and I'm still not too bad at it now.



Believe him. According to my friend Tonya, Scott is *VERY* skilled at massage...

-Dave


----------



## BlackSilver (Oct 9, 2005)

Rel- I understand completely.    

Queen- I hope that you take some of the suggestions and seek some assistance with your stress issues to help you through this tring time.  

Best wishes and luck to you all.


----------



## Crothian (Oct 9, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> My list was prioritized... just a general list of stuff I need to get done.  I *need* my sleep, it's very important.  I'm bipolar and if I don't get my sleep, you DO NOT want to be around me the next day.




You do realize most of us aren';t going to be around you right?  So w know we are very safe!!


----------



## Crothian (Oct 9, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> Great idea.  In fact I will *personally* offer to give Queen D a full body massage when next I see her.  And trust me when I say that I've got madd skilz in that department.




Sign me up!!


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Oct 9, 2005)

Stress gave me gray hairs on my chin and head at the age of 23. Thankfully, I now live at peace with myself. No more stress. Stress happens when you think about the pressures of life too often. If you let them go and have faith, life becomes much easier. I know from experience.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 9, 2005)

I'm a little less stressed out at the moment... however, TU and I are both back in the great state of South Dakota for his grandfather's funeral.

Hopefully things will be a bit better when we get back to the DC area.


----------



## Rel (Oct 9, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I'm a little less stressed out at the moment... however, TU and I are both back in the great state of South Dakota for his grandfather's funeral.
> 
> Hopefully things will be a bit better when we get back to the DC area.




When you vanished from this thread for a bit I was afraid this might have been the reason.   

Please extend my condolences to The Universe and his family.


----------



## Pbartender (Oct 9, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So - tell me EN World - how do YOU deal with stress?  Give me some tips to stay organized, calm, and rational as I attempt to conquer the coming week.  I need it!




Self-flaggellation.

Nothing takes your mind off stress and refocuses it resolutely on the here and now better than a dozen lashes from the knotted cat in the baize bag.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Well... I'm officially done with classes which means the semester has truly begun.  The final draft of my prospectus is due on Tuesday and it's got me back in my "freak out" mode mostly because I cannot, for the life of me, seem to structure it in a way that satisfies both me and my professor.  Yarg!  The frustration!



But - come Thursday (after by 9 hours of exams) - I will officially be DONE with this semester (except for that other paper I have to write before the 20th!  ).

I *heart* school!!!!


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Well... I'm officially done with classes which means the semester has truly begun.  The final draft of my prospectus is due on Tuesday and it's got me back in my "freak out" mode mostly because I cannot, for the life of me, seem to structure it in a way that satisfies both me and my professor.  Yarg!  The frustration!
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Woot! Only how many more semesters to go? And what's your degree in again? Is this a bachelor's or masters?


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> Woot! Only how many more semesters to go? And what's your degree in again? Is this a bachelor's or masters?



 BA, History and I'll be done 1 year from now.


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> BA, History and I'll be done 1 year from now.




The best class you will ever take is the last one you have to take for your degree. My last semester involved Cisco Routing and SQL Server Admin it just flew by.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> The best class you will ever take is the last one you have to take for your degree. My last semester involved Cisco Routing and SQL Server Admin it just flew by.



 I'm really looking forward to Fall 2006.  I'll be officially done with my degree, but will simply be taking credits to graduate.  So, it'll be a nice combination of Yoga and history classes that did not previously fit my schedule because of requirements.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> My problem is... when I get to this point... I usually just collapse into a screaming, crying mess and get absolutely nothing done because I'm so focused on the fact that I'm never going to get all of these things done.  It's totally the logical way to do it!  *rolls eyes*



My wife gets like that too--when there's too much to do, she starts feeling like she's spinning in circles, unable to tackle everything.  Luckily, I seldom get like that; I just take one thing at a time, get it done, and move on to the next.  I'm also better able (IMO) to sort out what really needs to be done and what can wait to be done later.

I don't know if that helps, though.  When my wife gets like that, she kinda relies on me to bail her out, take her away from the situation, and start helping her bucket water out of the proverbial sinking ship by doing some of the jobs that need to be done myself, and helping her with others.  But I'm not going to do that for you.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> I don't know if that helps, though.  When my wife gets like that, she kinda relies on me to bail her out, take her away from the situation, and start helping her bucket water out of the proverbial sinking ship by doing some of the jobs that need to be done myself, and helping her with others.  But I'm not going to do that for you.




TU is usually really helpful when I get mega-stressed, though how he can even stand to be around me is something I'll never understand.  I pretty much just scream and yell at whoever happens to be near by, which is usually him.

But - he brought me flowers last night and sat me down to help me revise my Prospectus (which is due in 31 hours - EEP!).    Once this beast of a paper (which, until last night was 8 pages over limit! How do you write a paper that is 8 pages OVER?!?!) is turned in, it's all smoooooth sailing 'til we leave for South Dakota for the holidays.  **dances**

... now I just need to stay calm and now be a total spazz for the next 3 days.  Just have to keep telling myself that I'll get it all done.


----------



## Belen (Dec 13, 2005)

It is always a good feeling to finish school.  It is one of the few truly great milestones in life.  It is both easier and harder in the real world though.

So...if you have easy classes next semester, does this mean that you two will be coming to the April gameday?


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

BelenUmeria said:
			
		

> It is always a good feeling to finish school.  It is one of the few truly great milestones in life.  It is both easier and harder in the real world though.
> 
> So...if you have easy classes next semester, does this mean that you two will be coming to the April gameday?




If you two go, I'll probably go. 

Seriously, I got a free ticket and if I have fun at the January gameday, which I'm sure I will, I've seriously considered using if for the "RPG Orgy" in April.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> I've seriously considered using if for the "RPG Orgy" in April.



Be sure and take pics...


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Be sure and take pics...




I'm bringin' the puddin'!


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> But - he brought me flowers last night and sat me down to help me revise my Prospectus




That's a good husband you got there.  Just in case he doesn't read this, make sure he knows that.


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> I'm bringin' the puddin'!




I've seen your picture so I have a pretty good idea of what you look like.  Now I'm certain that your voice is that of Bill Cosby.


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> I've seen your picture so I have a pretty good idea of what you look like.  Now I'm certain that your voice is that of Bill Cosby.




Tell Bill I said to have a Coke and a smile and shut the  up!  

And I've seen yours too, you stud. 

http://www.enworld.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=23771


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> And I've seen yours too, you stud.




I've been meaning to ask, does this do-rag make me look fat?


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> I've been meaning to ask, does this do-rag make me look fat?




Yes.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> That's a good husband you got there.  Just in case he doesn't read this, make sure he knows that.



Speaking of which, I hear sex is a great stress reliever.  Seriously.

Or, at least, it'll make The Universe very happy, and, hey, that's one of the things you're stressed about anyway, right? so you kill two birds with one stone.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> Now I'm certain that your voice is that of Bill Cosby.



More like Papa Smurf.


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> More like Papa Smurf.




Damn, now *I'm* stressed!


----------



## nakia (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> I'm bringin' the puddin'!




Is it $240 worth of puddin'?


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

nakia said:
			
		

> Is it $240 worth of puddin'?




Awwwwwwwwww Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

*smiles*  I love all you guys.  Laughing = decreased stress... and y'all make me laugh.  Thanks.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

BelenUmeria said:
			
		

> It is always a good feeling to finish school.  It is one of the few truly great milestones in life.  It is both easier and harder in the real world though.
> 
> So...if you have easy classes next semester, does this mean that you two will be coming to the April gameday?



 I really... like *really*... wanted to make it in Jan.  It's right by my birthday and would make an awesome birthday celebration, but just don't think we're going to be able to afford it.  *sniffles*

We'll see about April... my thesis is due in April... stupid thesis.


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I really... like *really*... wanted to make it in Jan.  It's right by my birthday and would make an awesome birthday celebration, but just don't think we're going to be able to afford it.  *sniffles*
> 
> We'll see about April... my thesis is due in April... stupid thesis.




But you guys just HAVE to come in April!  I'll have Henry and reveal write the damn thesis for you if you'll come!  I've got this shirt to give you and everything.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> But you guys just HAVE to come in April!  I'll have Henry and reveal write the damn thesis for you if you'll come!  I've got this shirt to give you and everything.



 I'll work on it.  I want to go SO BAD.   

reveal - if I'm going in April, you need to go in April, again.  If I'm going - I'm getting as many people as possible there with me!


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Wait... when is the Jan. game day, again?


----------



## Captain Howdy (Dec 13, 2005)

To relieve stress, I :

-Go jogging
-Play with my dog
-Have some sex
-Sit in a dark room with my eyes closed for a couple minutes
-More sex
-Actually work on the stuff that is stressing me
-Beat the crap out of a punching bag
-Some more sex

Pretty much works for me. Results may vary.


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Wait... when is the Jan. game day, again?




January 21


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> January 21



 *ponders*  It may be possible - it's later than I thought it was.  I just need to convince TU that it's an absolute necessity for us to go...


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> *ponders*  It may be possible - it's later than I thought it was.  I just need to convince TU that it's an absolute necessity for us to go...




It's only a 280 mile drive.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> It's only a 280 mile drive.



 I know!  But The Universe hates going places.  He's a home body.  Just need to convince him that it will be like a little GenCon...


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I know!  But The Universe hates going places.  He's a home body.  Just need to convince him that it will be like a little GenCon...



Maybe if you had some Red Lobster you could convince him...


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Maybe if you had some Red Lobster you could convince him...




A little "road head" wouldn't hurt either.


----------



## Belen (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> I really... like *really*... wanted to make it in Jan.  It's right by my birthday and would make an awesome birthday celebration, but just don't think we're going to be able to afford it.  *sniffles*
> 
> We'll see about April... my thesis is due in April... stupid thesis.




Well, my offer of lodging still stands.  The new house even has its own guest bathroom.  We have plenty of room as long as you two do not mind a double bed.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> A little "road head" wouldn't hurt either.



 Wow, reveal.  Sometimes, I forget just how immature you can be.   I love it!!


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

BelenUmeria said:
			
		

> Well, my offer of lodging still stands.  The new house even has its own guest bathroom.  We have plenty of room as long as you two do not mind a double bed.



 He and I will talk about it tonight.  We were hoping to do something interesting and fun for our birthdays (mine is the 9th, his the 22nd).  This could be perfect.  

Even if it turns out that we can't go, we really appreciate the offer.  You ENWorlders are so generous.


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Wow, reveal.  Sometimes, I forget just how immature you can be.   I love it!!




I'm not immature. I speak the truth.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> I'm not immature. I speak the truth.



 Ahhh, the difference between "boy truth" and "girl truth" is ENORMOUS!


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Ahhh, the difference between "boy truth" and "girl truth" is ENORMOUS!




I tell you what, talk to TU about travelling up. If he says no, or is wishy-washy, offer up my suggestion. I'll give you $5 if that doesn't convince him to go.


----------



## Belen (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Ahhh, the difference between "boy truth" and "girl truth" is ENORMOUS!




It makes us easier to understand.  90% of the time a woman should be able to correctly tell what we're thinking about:  sex, toys, or games.  In many cases, all three apply.  The rest of the 10% is spent on itching and food.


----------



## nakia (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> A little "road head" wouldn't hurt either.




There was *Almost* masticated sandwich all over monitor.

And bring your thesis to the game day, Queen D.  I've written a thesis and a dissertation.  I should be able to whip something out for you over breakfast.


----------



## Belen (Dec 13, 2005)

Next plan:  Get QueenD and TU to move to NC.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

nakia said:
			
		

> There was *Almost* masticated sandwich all over monitor.
> 
> And bring your thesis to the game day, Queen D.  I've written a thesis and a dissertation.  I should be able to whip something out for you over breakfast.



 *grin*  You're on!  I've done all of the important research, just need to write it... and for some reason, that's very challenging.  *ugh*


----------



## nakia (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> *grin*  You're on!  I've done all of the important research, just need to write it... and for some reason, that's very challenging.  *ugh*




Look, all you need is a template.  Here's a beginning:

"Although BROAD SUBJECT has been the focus of significant research, much of this research neglects GENERAL AREA OF MY TOPIC.  Specifically, MORE SPECIFIC AREA OF MY TOPIC bears further consideration.

[Insert literature review here]

What the literature fails to capture,  however, is SPECIFIC POINT OF THESIS.  In what follows, I will argue RESTATEMENT OF SPECIFIC POINT OF THESIS, using, METHOD, TECHNIQUE, OR SIGNIFICANT SOURCE OF DATA OR LITERATURE THAT SUPPORTS YOUR ARGUMENT.  While SPECIFIC POINT OF THESIS is no doubt contentious, I will show that MAJOR ARGUMENT AGAINST YOUR SPECIFIC POINT fails to consider WHY MAJOR ARGUMENT DOES NOT WORK AGAINST YOUR THESIS."

See, that's at least 10 pages right there, depending on your lit review.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

nakia said:
			
		

> Look, all you need is a template.  Here's a beginning:
> 
> "Although BROAD SUBJECT has been the focus of significant research, much of this research neglects GENERAL AREA OF MY TOPIC.  Specifically, MORE SPECIFIC AREA OF MY TOPIC bears further consideration.
> 
> ...



 You have no clue how helpful that single post is.  

Nakia wins!


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

If you were in CS, you could use this. 

http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/


----------



## nakia (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> You have no clue how helpful that single post is.
> 
> Nakia wins!




Hmmm. . . maybe I should share that with my students.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

nakia said:
			
		

> Hmmm. . . maybe I should share that with my students.



 Indeed you should!  I just shared it with a classmate (who is freaking out just as much as me about the Prospectus) and their reaction was:

"... Holy sht.   No... HOLY SHT! ... Liz, seriously! HOLY SHT! That is AWESOME!"


----------



## Xath (Dec 13, 2005)

QD, we could carpool to NC Gameday in either January or April, if you want to.  

I just finished my biggest project of the semester.  Now, one more presentation, one paper, and one final to go and then the "worst semester ever" is done!!!!

I could use a game-day realated holiday.


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Xath said:
			
		

> QD, we could carpool to NC Gameday in either January or April, if you want to.
> 
> I just finished my biggest project of the semester.  Now, one more presentation, one paper, and one final to go and then the "worst semester ever" is done!!!!
> 
> I could use a game-day realated holiday.




Plus it would be cool to see my "groupie."


----------



## Xath (Dec 13, 2005)

nakia said:
			
		

> Look, all you need is a template.  Here's a beginning:
> 
> "Although BROAD SUBJECT has been the focus of significant research, much of this research neglects GENERAL AREA OF MY TOPIC.  Specifically, MORE SPECIFIC AREA OF MY TOPIC bears further consideration.
> 
> ...





I really could have used this last night....

*stolen for further use*


----------



## Belen (Dec 13, 2005)

Xath said:
			
		

> QD, we could carpool to NC Gameday in either January or April, if you want to.
> 
> I just finished my biggest project of the semester.  Now, one more presentation, one paper, and one final to go and then the "worst semester ever" is done!!!!
> 
> I could use a game-day realated holiday.




We could probably fit you too, although I will have to ask the wife.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 13, 2005)

C'mon, Belen... live a little dangerously!  Commit to it ahead of time!  In fact, don't even tell her they're all coming until a few days before they're here.


----------



## Henry (Dec 13, 2005)

BelenUmeria said:
			
		

> 90% of the time a woman should be able to correctly tell what we're thinking about:  sex, toys, or games.




As Jeff Foxworthy said, _"Women don't need to wonder what men are thinking. We're not that complicated: We want a beer, and we wanna see somethin' naked." _


More seriously, we'd love to see all three o' ya at the Jan. gameday. Registration for slots in games starts this friday at 5pm, even!


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 13, 2005)

Henry said:
			
		

> As Jeff Foxworthy said, _"Women don't need to wonder what men are thinking. We're not that complicated: We want a beer, and we wanna see somethin' naked." _
> 
> More seriously, we'd love to see all three o' ya at the Jan. gameday. Registration for slots in games starts this friday at 5pm, even!



Henry wants to see all three of you at the Gameday.  Naked, and with a beer in your hand.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Henry wants to see all three of you at the Gameday.  Naked, and with a beer in your hand.



 *sigh*  TU just got home and says that he won't have the time to spare to go anywhere after our mega-long Christmas vacation and our trip to my Dad's in San Fran that is scheduled for February.  Him and his "job." Ugh. *rolls eyes*

*I* think we'd probably be able to make it work, but - as they say - it takes two to tango.

So - there will most likely be no QueenD or TU... let alone a naked QueenD or TU.


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> *sigh*  TU just got home and says that he won't have the time to spare to go anywhere after our mega-long Christmas vacation and our trip to my Dad's in San Fran that is scheduled for February.  Him and his "job." Ugh. *rolls eyes*
> 
> *I* think we'd probably be able to make it work, but - as they say - it takes two to tango.
> 
> So - there will most likely be no QueenD or TU... let alone a naked QueenD or TU.




You and Xath could always roadtrip it.


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> You and Xath could always roadtrip it.



 You just have to be sure to be there in April again.  Then I'm sure TU and I will be able to make it!  The Jan. game day just doesn't quite give him enough time to make enough vacation hours.


----------



## Henry (Dec 13, 2005)

I'd like to say Joshua gets me into more trouble than anyone else, but heck, I'm the one who put it out there in the first place, ain't I. 

Get together on the April trip, because there are a LOT of Enworlders who have at the least expressed plans to go. Skim the current Gameday thread to see what I'm talking about.


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> You just have to be sure to be there in April again.  Then I'm sure TU and I will be able to make it!  The Jan. game day just doesn't quite give him enough time to make enough vacation hours.




If you don't make it in January, I'll survive.  If you need to squeeze some extra time to make it to a Game Day, make it the April one.  It'll be bigger, longer, extra fun...all the stuff you like. 

*sets stopwatch to see how many seconds it takes to draw out JD or reveal on that last sentence.*


----------



## Admiral Akbar (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> If you don't make it in January, I'll survive.  If you need to squeeze some extra time to make it to a Game Day, make it the April one.  It'll be bigger, longer, extra fun...all the stuff you like.
> 
> *sets stopwatch to see how many seconds it takes to draw out JD or reveal on that last sentence.*




It's a trap!


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> It'll be bigger, longer, extra fun...all the stuff you like.




Oh - but I learned to like it from your mom!


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Oh - but I learned to like it from your mom!




Sweetie, I think you should let the non-"witty" folks handle this one. Better responses would have been:

"Bigger, longer, extra fun? Why do think I'm staying home with TU this time?!"

or

"It's a shame your wife has to wait until April for that as well."

or

"Your mother's a whore." (that's a good catch-all insult)


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Wheee!  Reveal thinks I'm sweet!!


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> "Bigger, longer, extra fun? Why do think I'm staying home with TU this time?!"




See, I'm not good at making jokes about my sex life.  That's why I have you guys!


----------



## reveal (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Wheee!  Reveal thinks I'm sweet!!




That reminds of this comic.


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> Oh - but I learned to like it from your mom!




I think that hanging out with reveal and I here on the boards is starting to turn you into a dirty, nasty girl.

Huzzah!


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 13, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> I think that hanging out with reveal and I here on the boards is starting to turn you into a dirty, nasty girl.
> 
> Huzzah!



 *shakes head*  I just don't spend enough time posting on NTL... so everyone just assumes I'm the nice blonde girl... but it's a lie.  *evil snicker*


----------



## Rel (Dec 13, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> *shakes head*  I just don't spend enough time posting on NTL... so everyone just assumes I'm the nice blonde girl... but it's a lie.  *evil snicker*




Hmm.  I haven't had a NTL account in several iterations of the boards.  And yet *nobody *assumes that *I'm* a nice blonde girl! *pout*

(Probably just as well since I'd be a total slut.)


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 14, 2005)

*staples the final draft of her Prospectus*  It might not be "done," but it is done enough.  We-ha!


----------



## ssampier (Dec 14, 2005)

*a jumbled mess*



			
				BelenUmeria said:
			
		

> It makes us easier to understand.  90% of the time a woman should be able to correctly tell what we're thinking about:  sex, toys, or games.  In many
> cases, all three apply.  The rest of the 10% is spent on itching and food.




Mmm food. *munches* Hey, are those Star Wars miniatures?! *imitates star-ship sound* Oooh, is that a pretty girl I spy across the street? *goes talk to her and gets shot down* *sulks and then returns imitating the star-ship noises*



			
				nakia said:
			
		

> Look, all you need is a template.  Here's a beginning:
> 
> "Although BROAD SUBJECT has been the focus of significant research, much of this research neglects GENERAL AREA OF MY TOPIC.  Specifically, MORE SPECIFIC AREA OF MY TOPIC bears further consideration.
> 
> ...




Not bad, not bad at all. I usually the ramble-for-20 pages then cut it down after _serious_ editing. Usually I ended up with about 4 or 5 usable pages so I need to add substantially more, but it solves the “getting started” dilemma.



			
				Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So - there will most likely be no QueenD or TU... let alone a naked QueenD or TU.




I’m intrigued by a possibility of a naked QueenD, but I’m afraid TU would slug me.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 14, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> So - there will most likely be no QueenD or TU... let alone a naked QueenD or TU.



You didn't mention the road head, did you?


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 14, 2005)

Henry said:
			
		

> I'd like to say Joshua gets me into more trouble than anyone else, but heck, I'm the one who put it out there in the first place, ain't I.



Dagnabbit; where's that "innocent" smiley when you need it?


----------



## Belen (Dec 14, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> You didn't mention the road head, did you?




Or that newfangled warming gel.  Warms on contact even.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 14, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> *sets stopwatch to see how many seconds it takes to draw out JD or reveal on that last sentence.*



See, that's why we make such a good tag-team; when I'm offline, reveal jumps into the ring and makes the jokes for me.  We're like Andre the Giant and the Ultimate Warrior.

Of course, I'm Andre the Giant, IYKWIMAITYD...


----------



## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Dec 14, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Of course, I'm Andre the Giant, IYKWIMAITYD...




[innocent] Huh?  I don't get it... [/innocent]


----------



## reveal (Dec 14, 2005)

Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
			
		

> [innocent] Huh?  I don't get it... [/innocent]




He's French.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 14, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> He's French.



From Grenoble even.  We had Snoopy visit once.


----------



## Alenda (Dec 14, 2005)

Belen wrote: "We could probably fit you too, although I will have to ask the wife."

Yes, it was so cute how Belen mentioned this to me yesterday. We are sitting around in our weekly D&D group. As DM, I'm explaining the party's current situation, when Belen breaks in with "By the way, I offered our guest room to some folks from ENWorld." Then he indicates that I should proceed with my DMing.

You have to love subtlety. 

Of course, it's perfectly OK with me, so if you all plan on coming in April, I say "the more the merrier!"


----------



## Alenda (Dec 14, 2005)

Belen wrote: "Or that newfangled warming gel.  Warms on contact even."

OK, that's more than 47% vulgar, Mr. Umeria. That's in the 50 percentile  at least!


----------



## Rel (Dec 14, 2005)

Alenda said:
			
		

> OK, that's more than 47% vulgar, Mr. Umeria. That's in the 50 percentile  at least!




Depends on who you ask I suppose.

What's vulgar to me is that he's now invited Queen D AND Xath to stay with you guys.  Adding in yourself, these are some of the hottest gamer chicks I know!  Your husband is trying to hog all the hot gamer chicks under one roof!  When the lights go out, who knows what could happen?!

(take pictures, kay? )


----------



## Belen (Dec 14, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> Depends on who you ask I suppose.
> 
> What's vulgar to me is that he's now invited Queen D AND Xath to stay with you guys.  Adding in yourself, these are some of the hottest gamer chicks I know!  Your husband is trying to hog all the hot gamer chicks under one roof!  When the lights go out, who knows what could happen?!
> 
> (take pictures, kay? )




ROFL!

(wipes Diet Dr. Pepper off monitor)


----------



## Alenda (Dec 14, 2005)

Rel wrote: Your husband is trying to hog all the hot gamer chicks under one roof!"

GASP! You're right. It'll be like "Hottie Con" all over again.


----------



## Xath (Dec 14, 2005)

Alenda said:
			
		

> Rel wrote: Your husband is trying to hog all the hot gamer chicks under one roof!"
> 
> GASP! You're right. It'll be like "Hottie Con" all over again.




It'd be a gamer-girl sleepover!!!!  RPGs and pillow fights all night long....


----------



## Belen (Dec 14, 2005)

Xath said:
			
		

> It'd be a gamer-girl sleepover!!!!  RPGs and pillow fights all night long....


----------



## Rel (Dec 15, 2005)

Alenda said:
			
		

> GASP! You're right. It'll be like "Hottie Con" all over again.




Best laugh I've had all day!   

For those of you not fortunate enough to have been there at the September NC Game Day, there were a bunch of sorority pledges meeting in the first floor of the student union.  When BU and Alenda showed up for the game day on the 4th floor, I greeted them and said, "Just our luck huh?  Another gaming convention here on the same day!  It's HottieCon.  All the participants are female gamers between the ages of 19 and 22 and a half, weighing between 95 and 120 pounds."

BU looks at me and says, "Really?"

I thought Alenda was going to sprain her eyes from rolling them too hard.


----------



## Rel (Dec 15, 2005)

Xath said:
			
		

> It'd be a gamer-girl sleepover!!!!  RPGs and pillow fights all night long....




This is the environment I'm hoping to foster at the April Game Day.  I'm going to sell tickets and see if I can finance my trip to GenCon this way.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> This is the environment I'm hoping to foster at the April Game Day.  I'm going to sell tickets and see if I can finance my trip to GenCon this way.



If they spend the whole gameday in nothing but panties and a t-shirt, then you're on.  Heck, who am I kidding; I just want to see Rel and reveal spend the whole gameday in nothing but panties and a t-shirt (yes, one between the two of them...)


----------



## reveal (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> If they spend the whole gameday in nothing but panties and a t-shirt, then you're on.  Heck, who am I kidding; I just want to see Rel and reveal spend the whole gameday in nothing but panties and a t-shirt (yes, one between the two of them...)




You can see me play mailman.


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

If I didn't have any stress in my life I wouldn't have the prolific gray that I have in my beard.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> You can see me play mailman.



Are you and Rel going to play doctor?


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Are you and Rel going to play doctor?



No, the three of us are.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

Frukathka said:
			
		

> No, the three of us are.



"Ah, Frukathka, how nice of you to stop by for your regular prostate checkup..."


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> "Ah, Frukathka, how nice of you to stop by for your regular prostate checkup..."



I think I'm too young to worry about my prostate.


----------



## reveal (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Are you and Rel going to play doctor?




No, but I'll have a big package to deliver.


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> No, but I'll have a big package to deliver.



I'm aware.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

Frukathka said:
			
		

> I think I'm too young to worry about my prostate.



You never know 'til you check, now do you?  Better drop those drawers and spread those cheeks there, buddy...

*gulp*  There's a line I hope to never hear at the gaming table...


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> You never know 'til you check, now do you?  Better drop those drawers and spread those cheeks there, buddy...
> 
> *gulp*  There's a line I hope to never hear at the gaming table...



_Holy......_  :\


----------



## reveal (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> You never know 'til you check, now do you?  Better drop those drawers and spread those cheeks there, buddy...
> 
> *gulp*  There's a line I hope to never hear at the gaming table...




ENW           the line--->|                                                        JD--->X


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> ENW           the line--->|                                                        JD--->X



Hahaha. ROFL!!!!!


----------



## Rel (Dec 15, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> ENW           the line--->|                                                        JD--->X




Fer serious!


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> ENW           the line--->|                                                        JD--->X



I'm like the Mr. Magoo of ENW.  Old, crotchety, and too blind to see things like lines.

Y'know how cops are kind embarrassed to take care of old and senile people that are wandering around getting themselves into trouble?  That's how it is with me too.  Just the other day I got an email from Henry with the line, "C'mon, Pops, let's get you home."


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> Fer serious!



Quoted for truthery!


----------



## Rel (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> I'm like the Mr. Magoo of ENW.  Old, crotchety, and too blind to see things like lines.
> 
> Y'know how cops are kind embarrassed to take care of old and senile people that are wandering around getting themselves into trouble?  That's how it is with me too.  Just the other day I got an email from Henry with the line, "C'mon, Pops, let's get you home."




See, I prefer to think of myself as like an EXXXtrEEM ENWorlder who posts on the edge.  And you don't post out on the edge like I do without plummeting into oblivion on occasion.  It's dangerous, but that's just how I roll.

My analogy makes me feel less like a (dirty) old man.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> My analogy makes me feel less like a (dirty) old man.



One day you too can accept the truth: we *are* (dirty) old men.   

If we were to make a movie of ENW, my part would be played by Walter Mathau.


----------



## reveal (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> One day you too can accept the truth: we *are* (dirty) old men.




Awwwwww yeaaaaaaaaaah


----------



## reveal (Dec 15, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> ...but that's just how I roll.




I never want to see you use that phrase again. Try to keep it real.


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> I never want to see you use that phrase again. Try to keep it real.



QFT.


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> QFT.



We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive.......and beyond.


----------



## Rel (Dec 15, 2005)

reveal said:
			
		

> I never want to see you use that phrase again. Try to keep it real.




You can't stop me.  It's cause I'm EXXXtrEEM!

Beyotch!


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> You can't stop me.  It's cause I'm EXXXtrEEM!
> 
> Beyotch!



Please stay tuned..........


----------



## Desdichado (Dec 15, 2005)

Rel said:
			
		

> You can't stop me.  It's cause I'm EXXXtrEEM!



Careful, there, Rel.  Don't break your hip.

Geez, you're six months older than me!  You're ancient!


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> Careful, there, Rel.  Don't break your hip.
> 
> Geez, you're six months older than me!  You're ancient!



Actually the Ancients left Atlantis, the Stargate team is cureently inhating the floating city.


----------



## Belen (Dec 15, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> One day you too can accept the truth: we *are* (dirty) old men.
> 
> If we were to make a movie of ENW, my part would be played by Walter Mathau.




Hah...i am only 29.  I am just a dirty man.


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

BelenUmeria said:
			
		

> Hah...i am only 29.  I am just a dirty man.



I be the same age, and I do not feel old or dirty, though I do feel tired. Must go to sleep soon. 

We need a sleep smiley.


----------



## Belen (Dec 15, 2005)

Frukathka said:
			
		

> I be the same age, and I do not feel old or dirty, though I do feel tired. Must go to sleep soon.
> 
> We need a sleep smiley.




Yep...I stayed up past my bedtime last night reading.  This morning was not pleasant.


----------



## Angel Tarragon (Dec 15, 2005)

BelenUmeria said:
			
		

> Yep...I stayed up past my bedtime last night reading.  This morning was not pleasant.



I've been up since 5 pm yesterday.


----------



## Belen (Dec 15, 2005)

Frukathka said:
			
		

> I've been up since 5 pm yesterday.




Yes, but that's because you're in loooovvveee.  <kissy kissy>


----------

