# Habet, Hoc, Habet!: a one-shot gladiator story hour



## Breakstone (Jun 20, 2002)

Tomorrow, my gaming group shall be playing a gladiatorial miniatures game called *Habet, Hoc Habet!* by Flagship Games. It's a fun game in which you play the part of a Lanista, or slave owner, in Ancient Rome who sends his slaves to fight in a variety of gladiator games.

Who shall live?

Who shall die?

Who shall manage to gain the most Danarii?

Tune in tomorrow, for live updates from the Colosseum, then check Friday for a full-written story!


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## cthuluftaghn (Jun 20, 2002)

Sounds interesting.  Miniature games don't interest me much, but I'm curious to see the story behind your adventures.  I'll tune in....


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## Breakstone (Jun 20, 2002)

Game day today!

The Game will start today at 5 o'clock sharp (or somewhat around that time).

Unfortunately, one player can't make it (Arg!), but there's still three of us!


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## cthuluftaghn (Jun 20, 2002)

That's 8:00 my time... right when I leave work (I've got to stick around to support our *ahem* California clients who work 'til 5:00).  So... by the time I get home, there'll be up-to-the-minute updates, right?  'tis the least you can do, since I have to work late to fit your west coast schedule...  tee hee


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## Breakstone (Jun 20, 2002)

I'll see what I can do, Cthulu


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## Breakstone (Jun 21, 2002)

Well, the game just got over, and I'll be typing it up tonight. Here's a bit of Vocab to start things up (note: I'll be adding more vocab as I type more up).

Editor: The person putting on the games. He was responsible for deciding who would fight whom, and whether or not any defeated gladiators should live or die.

Gladius: The Roman short sword. It was dual edged and short, and was used to stab more than to cut. Gladiators got their name from the gladius.

Hoplomachus: A type of "heavy" gladiator.

Habet, Hoc Habet!: A phrase the crowd would cry out when a gladiator had fallen in combat, translated as, 'He's down, he's had it!"

Iugula!: The term shouted out by the crowds when they felt that the defeated gladiator should be put to death.

Lacquearius: A gladiator that uses a rope lasso and a spear in combat. The lacquearius was armored similarly to the retiarius.

Lanista: The owner of a troop of gladiators.

Ludi: A gladiator training school.

Mitte!: A word the crowd would shout out when a gladiator had been defeated, but had demonstrated enough skill and bravery to be allowed to live.

Munus: The Roman word for a gladiatorial show.

Primus Palus: A gladiator with lots of experience.

Retiarius: A gladiator who fought with net, trident, and wore no armor except on his left arm.

Sagittarius: A gladiator that fights with bow and arrows, typically against beasts.

Samnite: A heavy gladiator type who fought with gladius and shield and wore considerable armor when compared with other gladiator types.

Tiros: A novice gladiator with little or no training and experience.


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## Breakstone (Jun 21, 2002)

*Prologue*

The Maxim Drinkus was a top-denarii bar, owned by a retired Lanista/Primus Palus by the name of Theo. The place was shining, gold-lined tables sparkling in the morning sun. It had to be clean. The Emperor was visiting, and an Imperial Spectacula was being held. That meant top quality service for top quality people.

  One of those quality people entered. The badge on his tunic announced him as a lanista. The man searched the near-empty tavern, then settled down next to a rather hairy fellow.

  The shaggy man didn’t even look up from his drink when he gruffly grumbled, “Farcecus. Long time no see.”

  “Zoo. Same to you. How’re the kids?”

  “Well, I bought them some new cages, but good rhino food is so hard to find these days. Still up to your old tricks?”

  “You know it.” Farcecus laugh. “Say, where are Donkus and Stahlitte?”

  “Donkus is washing down his prize Samnite, a smelly fellow by the name of Fecus.”

  Both lanistas chuckled heartily. It may have been a while since the last munus, but not much had changed.

  “And Stahlitte?”

  “Well, no one’s heard from him since he set out to Egypt to collect some beasts.”

  “You don’t seem to sad about it.”

  Zoo shrugged. “Hey, you win some, you lose some.”

  A grim laughter followed.

  After a moment of silence, Farcecus stood and straightened out his spotless tunic. “Well, good luck old friend.”

  “Really?”

  “No.”

  Zoo smiled broadly. “Well don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll win.”

  “Really?” Farcecus seemed surprised.

  “…No.” With a deep, bellowing laughter, Zoo turned back to his wine. Farcecus narrowed his eyes, sniffed, and hastily exited the Maxim Drinkus.


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## cthuluftaghn (Jun 21, 2002)

Maxim Drinkus.... Fecus..... roflmao

Is this all just personal flair, or did the game play out with such personality?


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## Breakstone (Jun 21, 2002)

Heh. We did come up with some pretty fun names, although some had to be changed to more... appropriate names.

And I'm typing up Day 1, it'll probably be posted later today.


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## cthuluftaghn (Jun 21, 2002)

Sweet!  I'll check back tonight.


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## Rune (Jun 21, 2002)

Ooo!  I _like_ it!  Post more, soon!


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## Breakstone (Jun 22, 2002)

I'm workin' on it!

By the way, thanks for the support, it really helps


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## Breakstone (Jun 22, 2002)

*Day 1*

Emperor Milo Cordus took seat beside his beautiful wife and Editor Titus. “You’re quite jovial today, Milo.”

 “Ah, my friend,” Emperor Cordus let out a light chuckle, “a trip to the Maxim Drinkus before a munus provides hours of happiness.”

 The Editor smiled. “Well, I think I’ve put together quite the Imperial Spectacula . We’ll start today with a number of single combats, one-on-one. Day two will be the venatio. Day three will include my favorite, the free-for-all.”

 Cordus nodded as he took a sip of his wine. “Well, go on now. Do your thing.”

 Grinning, Titus turned to the crowd of thousands inhabiting the Colosseum. With a deep, booming voice, he announced, “Let the games begin!”

 As the twin gates on opposite sides of the arena creaked open, Zoo and Farcecus watched from the lanista balcony. Farcecus was the first to speak. “Fecus may be strong, but my Tyranus has a few tricks up his sleeve. Watch, but don’t say anything to Donkus!” Zoo rolled his eyes but stayed silent. After all, Donkus sat with his slaves in the pit.

 Tyranus stepped out of his gate first, black and red shield (Farcecus’ ludi colors) held high in a greeting to the crowd. And the crowd responded with a great cheer. This was customary of the gladiators, to present themselves before the battle. Suddenly, a samnite sprinted out the opposite gate, green rags flapping between gaps in his armor. Zoo could smell the gladiator from the balcony. “Fecus…”

 Tyranus glanced down from the crowd because of the stench seeping through his helm. ‘Did I just fartus?’ Through the tiny slits of his helmet, he saw a bundle of armor and rags racing towards him, then a gleaming sword swinging right for his-

 SPLAT!

 Blood splashed onto the wall as Fecus vivisected Tyranus’ jugular in one clean swipe.

 “WHAT?!?” Farcecus cried, shooting up from his seat, “Th-that’s cheating! He didn’t even present himself!”

 Fecus the stinky samnite raised his bloody sword as the crowd roared! Fecus looked towards the editor for final conformation, only to find Titus giving him the thumbs up. Tyranus was meant to live- at least, for the few moments that he still had blood in his body. Emperor Cordus was known to be merciful.

 Zoo could only laugh. “Some tricks Tyranus had!” he barely managed to let out between chortles.

 Farcecus muttered under his breath and sat back down. “You’ll get yours…” he whispered to the chuckling Zoo. “You’ll see…”

_More coming from Day 1!_


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## Darklone (Jun 23, 2002)

Maxim Drinkus rocks! More


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## cthuluftaghn (Jun 24, 2002)

When I was in the Navy, I think I used to work with the brother of Fecus.  His name was Flatus Stinkus.  He had two sisters.  My shipmates generally avoided his younger sister, Putrecia... but his elder sister, Felatio, was quite popular around the enlisted club.

It's nice hearing stories about old friends


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## Breakstone (Jun 24, 2002)

Heh. Well, actually, the original name of Fecus was... well, let's just say another word for "Fecal Matter"

But Eric's Grandma gave me creative control over the story hour, so Fecus it is!


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## cthuluftaghn (Jun 24, 2002)

Good choice!  "Poopy" just doesn't sound like much of a rough 'n tumble gladiator name!


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## Breakstone (Jun 27, 2002)

Sorry about the delay folk(s)! With my busy schedule (which only seems to pick up once I start a story hour), and not being able to access the boards (which I suppose has been solved), I haven't been able to update in a while.

But I'll type up and post the rest of Day 1 and Day 2 today!


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## cthuluftaghn (Jun 27, 2002)

Luckily... (or unluckily, as the case may be)... not many people could access the boards.  So, if you didn't say anything, we'd have never known that you were slackin


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