# IRON DM 2013--Entries, Judgements, Commentary, & Trash-Talk



## Rune (Jul 1, 2013)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the 2013 EN World IRON DM Tournament!

[sblock=The Rules*The Basics:*

The tournament is set up in a single-elimination bracket style, with each match determined based on scheduling availability among the eligible contestants.

Each match will consist of two contestants given a single set of six ingredients with which to construct a brief adventure in any game system or genre.  You should waste neither time, nor words, on overly detailed stats, but you should also not assume familiarity with any given system or genre.  Explain what you need to explain, _and stop there!_

These entries will be evaluated on their own merits and those evaluations will then be compared to determine the winner of a match, who will then proceed to the next round.

All matches will be given a time-frame to submit your entries within.  Entries that are late will still be accepted, but, seriously, _don't do this!_  The later the entry, the more severely it will be penalized in the judgement process.  If given a match with an incomplete entry and an entry that was late, I will go into judgement assuming that the latter (later) entry has something to prove.  Every fault found in such an entry will be magnified.

Seriously, if you haven't finished with an entry in time, _post what you've got!_  Even if you don't win (and, who knows, you might!), you may find the judgement enlightening for future IRON DM tournaments, anyway!

All entries are expected to make good use of all of the ingredients submitted--that is, they should be creatively applied, well-integrated, and fundamentally necessary to the adventure that they are used in.  This is the crux of the tournament, so don't think that maybe (for example) doing a good job with three ingredients will be enough, as long as you can craft a better adventure!  I wouldn't count on it, if I were you.

Finally, most of the previous tournaments in the last 11 years have used some optional bonus ingredients in Round 3.  This tournament will not make use of such bonus ingredients.  Each match will have exactly six ingredients.

*Formatting:*

All entries are to be submitted with the list of ingredients at the top and _are not to be edited_, once submitted.  Let me repeat that last part:  DO NOT EDIT YOUR POST, ONCE YOU HAVE SUBMITTED IT!  Check your work before you send it in.  Then check it again.  I will not look favorably upon any entry that has been edited.

Please do not expect me to follow links within your entry; I will not do so.  You may include links for others to follow if you choose to do so, but understand that, during judgement, I will only be reading (and re-reading, and re-re-reading) what is in the actual posted entry.

Along those lines--I will be reading each entry several times.  Please don't make that difficult for me.  Don't bore me and don't make my eyes bleed.  Please.

*Judgement:*

As I said before, each entry will be judged on its own merits and then the two competing entries' critiques will be compared for the final judgement.

I will endeavor to be _Nemmerelesque_ in my judgements--that is, critical, but also fair and constructive in that criticism.  That said, understand that not everybody will agree with every decision I make--that's the nature of the game.  Traditionally, second-guessing the judge is all part of the game--and that can lead to some undesired outcomes.  It can sting sometimes (believe me, I know!), but it _is a game_.  Let's have some fun with it!

That said, those wishing to gain a little insight into my thinking will need to do a little research to do so, but the information is out there.  Be warned, though!  I may have changed my thinking on some of these things within the last 11 years!

*Tournament Structure:

Round 1:*

All matches in the first round will have a *24* hour time-limit!  That's right--_we're going old-school!_  These matches *will not* be restricted in length, but, please, don't bore me!  Contestants who win their Round 1 matches will proceed to Round 2.

*Round 2:*

All matches in the second round will have a *48* hour time-limit.  These matches will have a *3000* word limit (not including the title and ingredients list--any descriptions or definitions of ingredients will count against the limit!).  Contestants who win their Round 2 matches will proceed to Round 3.

*Round 3:*

The third round match will also have a *48* hour time-limit.  This match will have a *2000* word limit (not including the title and ingredients list--any descriptions or definitions of ingredients will count against the limit!).  The contestant who wins this match will be the *IRON DM 2013*.[/sblock]

This thread will list the ingredients and the judgements for each match.  Please use this thread to post the entries as well.  Commentary is also welcome in this thread, but, please, if you are commenting on an entry that has not yet been judged, hide that commentary with spoiler or sblock tags!

If spectators would like to play the home game, please do that in another thread.

Finally, scheduling for these matches will take place here so as not to clutter this thread.

*IRON DM 2013*

[sblock=Round 1]*Round 1, Match 1:* Deuce Traveler vs. Imhotepthewise
Judgement: 



Spoiler



Deuce Traveler



*Round 1, Match 2:* Wicht vs. MortalPlague
Judgement: 



Spoiler



-----Wicht------



*Round 1, Match 3:* Radiating Gnome vs. EP
Judgement:  



Spoiler



Radiating Gnome



*Round 1, Match 4:* Mike Myler vs. Dragonwriter
Judgement:  



Spoiler



--Dragonwriter--



[sblock=Round 2]*Round 2, Match 1:* Wicht vs. Dragonwriter
Judgement: 



Spoiler



-----Wicht-----



*Round 2, Match 2:* Deuce Traveler vs. Radiating Gnome
Judgement:  



Spoiler



---Radiating Gnome---



[sblock=Round 3]*Championship Match:* Wicht vs. Radiating Gnome
Judgement:  



Spoiler



-----Wicht------


[/sblock][/sblock][/sblock]


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 1, 2013)

I'm ready


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## Rune (Jul 1, 2013)

What is that?  That Spongebob Squarepants version of smack-talk?

_I'm ready!  I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!_

Just to get the trash-talkin' kickstarted, here...


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 1, 2013)

SpongeBob happens to be a very important being in MY house, I'll thank you!


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## Rune (Jul 2, 2013)

*Round 1, Match 1:  Deuce Traveler vs. Imhotepthewise*

[MENTION=34958]Deuce Traveler[/MENTION] and  [MENTION=976]Imhotepthewise[/MENTION], you have *24 hours* to post your entries to this thread.  Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted.  Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own.  You are on your honor to do so.

*Your ingredients are:

Secret

High Holy Days

Out of Time

Mundane Wonder

Home

Unusual Currency*


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 2, 2013)

11:11. How fortuitous. I'm on it. Watch out, Deuce!


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 2, 2013)

Imhotepthewise said:


> 11:11. How fortuitous. I'm on it. Watch out, Deuce!




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_9VsnQJLjA


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## Wicht (Jul 2, 2013)

Rune said:


> Just to get the trash-talkin' kickstarted, here...




Everything's jumpin' on the Kickstarter bandwagon these days...


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 2, 2013)

*Deuce Traveler's Entry for Round 1 of Iron DM 2013, vs Imhotepthewise*

*Ingredients*:
_Secret_ => The unusual currency to enter K’Rikkt.

_High Holy Days_=> Three days of worship to Rotcod Eht, Lord of Time.  These days correspond to the moments where the Plane of Time comes closest to the campaign world.

_Out of Time_=> An effect that can be caused by stopping the giant clock inside Obbins' home.  Time can only be stopped for ten minutes every hour, and doing so creates great pain to K’Rikkt.  K’Rikkt can also be used to travel out of time by going into the future.

_Mundane Wonder_=> Giant clock in the center of K’Rikkt.  It can be stopped for ten minutes every hour.

_Home_=> K’Rikkt, home of Obbins the Mage.  Actually a befriended from the Plane of Time.

_Unusual Currency_=> A day-coin created from a happy moment of a character’s life, sacrificed in order to gain entry to K’Rikkt.

*Ruleset*: This adventure is meant for any fantasy game where high magic and planar travel is part of the campaign world, and for any character level as the encounters can easily be adjusted to match party strength.

*Background*: Obbins the Mage was always an odd duck.  He was a talented magic-user, but never truly exceptional at his craft.  Though he preferred living his days in the county of his birth, he was a voracious reader in regards to various lands and planes.  And he was so very old, though he was young.  The last bit was what was truly strange about him.  One day the elderly spellcaster announced he was going on a trip and wasn’t sure when he would be back, so he sold off his home and his possessions and used the coin to fund his journey.  He was gone for many a year, but when he returned to his county he was a young man again, claimed to now worship Rotcod Eht, the Lord of Time, and traveled upon a strange house that walked on skittering insect legs.  He called the house K’Rikkt, though what the word meant was anyone’s guess.  Other wizards and priests were quite interested in these events, but whenever their intrusions into these matters became too heated Obbins and his amazing home would disappear for days, weeks, or even months at a time.  However, Obbins couldn’t escape the greed of his fellow men forever.  Eventually a roguish band noticed that Obbins always returned during the three High Holy Days of Rotcod Eht and sometimes left his home to worship at a local temple.  Through guile this band learned the secret of Obbins' home, taking K’Rikkt and leaving Obbins stranded.  For the last year this band has been stealing from the local estates, disappearing for awhile, only to reappear with K’Rikkt on some new lawn in the dead of the night to rob again.  But what the band didn’t get from Obbins was that the house cannot use its amazing powers during the three High Holy Days of Rotcod Eht, when the arc of the Plane of Time reaches its highest point in conjunction with our world.  For those three days the band would not be able to escape justice, and it would be possible for some intrepid heroes to enter K’Rikkt and put an end to the crime spree.

*Adventure Hooks*: The party can be brought in a number of ways.  Obbins the Mage might be alive and in good health (though reduced in power due to the loss of his magical equipment) and contact the party directly.  Also, the local lords who are being victimized by the thefts may charge the adventurers with helping to stop the thieves.  In this case, Obbins may be anything from a respected adviser to the local powers or their distrusted and poorly treated prisoner.  Finally, the characters may be acting as free agents and see the band of thieves as competitors who have taken K’Rikkt, which the players themselves covet.

*Adventure*: Obbins got lucky during his foray into the Plane of Time, both by having his age reversed instead of advanced, and by befriending a telepathic creature of Time called K’Rikkt.  Obbins convinced K’Rikkt of returning to the mage’s land of birth in the game world, and the two found kindred spirits with one another as they both enjoyed leisure and philosophical discussions on alien lands and culture.  K’Rikkt feeds on time, so Obbins would often live a single pleasant day fishing in a nearby brook or taking a stroll in a local town, then feeding those 24 hours to K’Rikkt, sacrificing the pleasant moments to the alien creature.  The next day Obbins would not be able to recall this devoured day.  For those not of the Plane of Time, those moments around Obbins never existed. So they recalled his home sitting nearby, but never the mage himself.  For Obbins, it was if he missed an entire calendar day, which was the case.  K’Rikkt finds days of time with overly bad experiences unpalatable.  The majority of what K’Rikkt devours fuels the creature, but a small portion feeds into the Plane of Time.  K’Rikkt has a giant clock in the center of its body, the arms of which can be turned in order to make the creature travel into the future, but usually only in the same spot that he left.  The clock can also be stopped for ten minutes at a time, though K’Rikkt can keep walking during this instance.  When the clock would resume its movement, it would appear to outside observers that K’Rikkt disappeared and teleported a great distance away.  This stopping of the clock would cause great pain to K’Rikkt, so Obbins refrained from using this trick unless both agreed that danger necessitated doing so.  The scoundrels that now operate Obbins' home care little over the poor creature’s pain.

The adventure itself can be broken into three parts: finding the location of K’Rikkt, gaining entrance before others manage to do so, and battling inside K’Rikkt in order to defeat the band of thieves.

Finding the location of K’Rikkt will be tricky, even if the players discover that Obbins’ home cannot time travel during the three High Holy Days of Rotcod Eht.  First, after each heist, the thieves were able to stop K’Rikkt’s internal clock to escape.  They have several locations they are using away from populated areas to rest, recuperate, and plan before their next strike.  Although they have been striking hither and dither for the last year, for the thieves only a few of weeks have passed.  When K’Rikkt stops during the High Holy Days, the thieves are caught by surprise at one of their hideouts.  The home informs them that he is now tethered to the Plane of Time by unseen means and cannot move forward in time or geographically until the High Holy Days are over, and the plane recedes from its traveled arc.  The only action he can perform is to freeze time, making him temporarily disappear to outside observers, but only for the usual 10 minutes per hour.

This gives the party plenty of opportunities to find the thieves if they prepared properly.  First, the thieves are only using a handful of sites as safe havens, but those sites leave evidence of their comings and goings, especially because of K’Rikkt’s unique prints when he rests and sinks into the ground.  Second, the thieves are staying in the local county or counties as they are only striking targets they are familiar enough with in order to be sure of the wealth inside the estates, limiting their operating area.  Third, if the party discovers the significance of the High Holy Days, they can leave scouts on patrol or scrying magic to find the location of where Obbins’ home has been stuck.

Obbins was good-natured, but had jealous rivals because of K’Rikkt, some of which he himself did not even know about.  The party will not be the only agents looking for K’Rikkt, and will find themselves in a confrontation with a crooked mage and his hirelings, or agents of said mage.  If the heroes have made a past enemy of a wizard, this would be a good time for them to have another confrontation, as the stakes are quite high.

Access to K’Rikkt is easy enough if you know his secret.  The creature is telepathic and desperate to evict the band that has occupied his chambers, so diplomacy or a message from Obbins may persuade the creature to share the secret.  Some divination spells or hiring a diviner may also be of help here, though the clues may be appropriately cryptic.  K’Rikkt is a creature designed to devour time for his home plane of existence and is obligated to swallow a day of a person’s existence before allowing them access to his facilities.  Each adventurer must choose a pleasant and important day of their life while in telepathic contact with K’Rikkt.  As they focus on this day, K’Rikkt will extract it and create a large coin-like disc that appears in front of the character.  The character can then feed K’Rikkt this disk and walk through the ethereal membrane that makes up his maw.  The pleasant day no longer exists to the character.  Instead there is a memory of them losing a day, and tales afterwards on how they disappeared while friends and family frantically looked for them.  The loss of a day should not take on the form of a financial or experience point loss.  Such a day instead could be the day after an adventure where the party was feted by the local aristocracy and danced with nobles, or a special trip with a relative, or even a kiss from a special someone.  Once the day is chosen, it never happened however, and the character is left with a deep sense of loss, knowing something special was taken but not knowing what or its implications.  If a character chooses his special day to be sacrificed poorly, such as when he saved a sibling when they were children, it can have other dire implications.

Once inside K’Rikkt, the hijackers will have to be dealt with and a confrontation will ensue.  There are only a few chambers inside K’Rikkt, so spells and attacks will have to be specially considered.  Furniture is bolted down and cannot be easily tipped for cover without cracking some of K’Rikkt’s skin.  Spells such as fireball and lightning bolt could be as dangerous to the party in here as they are to the enemy.  Also, such spells and other area of effect spells could harm K’Rikkt himself.  The creature is mostly made of a hard, hollowed, insect-like skin, so missed melee strikes and arrows will have little effect.  But he will feel extreme heat, cold, electricity and acid based damage.  Further, if K’Rikkt’s clock is stopped by the bandits, the adventurers will find themselves with the added challenge of fighting without gravity.  When the great clock is stopped, gravity ceases to have an effect inside the home.  The bandits will know this from experimentation and take adequate precautions.  Heroes will have to balance how to handle the danger without harming a sentient and harmless creature.

When all is said and done, K’Rikkt will want to go home after his abuse at the hands of the rogues.  This can be accomplished by spinning his central clock backwards, tearing a fabric in reality, and ripping him from the time stream and back to the Plane of Time in a few short rounds.  Characters who use those rounds to escape will find themselves in the same spot of earth and around the same time that they had entered K’Rikkt.  If Obbins is alive and the characters can retrieve his spellbooks, Obbins will regret his friend’s departure, but otherwise be happy that K’Rikkt is safe.  Of course the players may decide to keep K’Rikkt for themselves and continue abusing the creature for their own personal gain.  This will go well for a short while, up until a certain Lord of Time takes pity on his creature and intervenes…


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 2, 2013)

I woke up this morning, jumped on my motorcycle to go to work, and this adventure just continued to develop itself.  I hope the judges find it as enjoyable a read as it was to write.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 2, 2013)

Real gamers need no electricity.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 2, 2013)

Time Out of Time by Imhotepthewise

An epic level scenario for a high powered fantasy game.

Ingredients

 Secret

 High Holy Days

 Out of Time

 Mundane Wonder

 Home

 Unusual Currency

Synopsis.

Graz’zt, or something equally powerful and charming, has orchestrated an attack upon himself with a group powerful enough to be useful to him but not so powerful to put himself in real danger. Through agents and minions, he leads them to believe they have a chance to take him out. He has a task, and, in true demonic fashion, wants it to be as unpleasant for those who have to perform it. Graz’zt intends the participants to live and live with the memory of the task.

DMs Corner.

In the observance of Rat Bastardry, the DM plans for this scenario by dropping hints throughout the existing campaign of Graz’zt vulnerability and the opportunity to draw him to the Prime where he will be least potent. Subtly encourage the preparation of time altering spells like Haste and, if possible, Time Stop.

The Big Event.

The party plans the big throwdown. Most will pick remote locations, plan for summoned allies, and beef up on powerful spells [see Tales of Wyre for excellent descriptions of this type of prep). Graz’zt has planned for all that.

Graz’zt will allow himself to be drawn to the Prime, but has contingencies set up in preparation for this. He is counting on the use of time altering spells similar to Haste and Time Stop, which are contingencies to the epic spell he plans to drop on the party.

If members of the party are only hasted to begin the encounter, he will allow the attack to give the party a hope of success. If they do happen to succeed in taking him out, props to them. This is unlikely. Once he is ready, he will speak the final word launching the spell.  If Time Stop is used, it is negated by the fact that it automatically launches Graz’zt’s epic spell without the need for the spell completion words.

The spell completion words are spoken and time speeds up personally for those under the effects of time altering spell like Haste, even faster than that perceived under Haste. If Time Stop is cast, the caster will feel a little different than other times they have been under that spell effect. The battle around them will appear nearly still, but still perceptively moving. Describe the flecks of blood and sweat moving through the air, the slow arc of the weapons being swung, the slow puff of dust from under the horses’ hooves, the subtle expanding of magical effects, the motion of a bird’s wings beating visibly as it tries to escape the battlefield. The only beings moving ‘normally’ are those previously under the effect of a time altering spell. Anyone that was not previously affected by a time altering spell is not drawn into the effect of the epic spell. Graz’zt is gone.  

The voice speaks to you out of nowhere.

“Observe the mundane wonder of pain and death that surrounds you. See the blood spray and the axe swing. The motion of the bodies. The billows of magic manifesting. The delicate motion of the bird’s wing…”

A demonic hand reaches out of nothing and a finger flicks the bird to smithereens.

“Welcome to time between time, a place you have learned to touch with arcane 
knowledge. That knowledge has made you vulnerable, as well. You are in place where time is as flexible as a twisted cord.”

“I found a teacher who taught me more about the flexibility of time and how to control it. She was hesitant to do so, but I managed to convince her to reveal her secret knowledge. Such a pleasurable experience…for me. It is a shame she did not last longer.”

Great roleplaying can ensue here, not everyone has the pleasure of Graz’zt’s company without imminent death present as well.

Graz’zt explains that the teacher taught him the secrets how to flex time as needed and keep the flexing of time in place until the caster wishes it to end. There are grave costs, and the actions do not go unnoticed, but penalties for misuse of time are vague and arbitrary. 

Graz’zt is not visible to the party, since he can control where he personally is in the flexibility of time. He is slightly ahead of them, rendering himself invisible to them. He has practiced his fine control of this effect.

Graz’zt says they are under no obligation to help him, and he will even send them home unharmed, but they will do so in the accelerated state until he wills it not to be so.

Graz’zt explains the task he requires.

“As you and others bend your knee to me, willingly or unwillingly, so must I, for a time, bend mine to another power. That power requires homage and gifts, and a great celebration of that great worthy is in offing. The holy, or unholy, as it were, days are coming soon. I wish to make a gift of unusual circumstance and value. If you will procure me one hundred larvae each, I will end this battle, return you to your time, and return you safely home.”

“Imagine the tale told during the high holy days of how I caused the gift to be gathered. It will be sublime. They who consider themselves my master will be further convinced of my loyalty, until it is far too late.”

The immediate question is, where is the unusual infernal/abyssal currency to be found?

“Why, all around us are souls ripe for harvest. All they require is your touch to gift them to me. Starting with all the souls immediately present, and those hiding nearby, it should not take you long to meet my humble request. Time is of no issue, so you can travel as far as you need to. Touch them with bare skin and say [in Abbysal] “crawl with the worms””.

What can the players do?

Without making this scenario too railroady, what can they do?

Overcome a ridiculously high DC to dispel Graz’zt’s epic spell. Use a wish. Find some clever way to make Graz’zt stay in their place in time so they can attack him. Convince Graz’zt that this is not a good idea. Complete Graz’zt’s task. Or some clever idea the DM has not thought of yet. Most likely, the option will drop them back into the toe to toe battle with Graz’zt on the Prime, in which case he will bug out.

If the players complete the task, they will find themselves standing in their homes, unharmed. Unharmed?

 Secret – The secret knowledge of time

 High Holy Days – The event Graz’zt must prepare a gift for

 Out of Time – The state you are in flexible time

 Mundane Wonder – Observing the minute details of the world slowed down around you

 Home – Where you can freely go, but not be there while still in flexible time

 Unusual Currency – Larva, official coinage of the infernal realms


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 3, 2013)

Best of luck, Deuce! I, too, had fun writing this one.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 3, 2013)

Good luck to you, too.  Graz'zt is always awesome.


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## Rune (Jul 3, 2013)

*Round 1, Match 1 Judgement:  Deuce Traveler vs. Imhotepthewise*

I can't help but get the feeling that one of these entries was a little rushed.  With more time dedicated to developing the premise and the resulting implications, it could make for a good adventure.  With more time devoted to working out the ingredients, fitting them together, and, especially, making them relevant to the adventure and the PCs, it could have been a competitive entry.  It's got the bones.  The problem is, that's pretty much all there is.  And the other entry?  Well, let's get to it...

Deuce Traveler's untitled piece, henceforth referred to as "Untitled," is evocative.  There is definitely nothing mundane about it (not even the wonder, but we'll get to that).  As an adventure, it works because it has decent hooks (and, let's not forget the unwritten, but powerful, "curiosity" hook.  This one brings it.  The adventure takes the PCs on a journey without ever feeling like it limits their options.  It looks fun to play.  Finally, future developments and implications abound by the end of it.  Most of the unanswered questions are the good kind--the kind the PCs get to explore in future adventures.

Imhotepthewise's piece, "Time Out of Time," is more linear.  I mean, _a lot_ more linear.  The hook is a slow-play.  I like the idea of subtly encouraging the PCs to choose a course of actions over the course of many games.  _However_, the entire adventure is predicated on the assumption that the PCs actually will.  That's a big problem for a hook.

As a side-note, as far as Rat Bastardry goes, "bait and switch" is a dangerous one to use, because it can leave the players feeling cheated.  That said, given that this is Graz'zt, _if_ handled _very_ subtly (and some advice on that would have been nice), it could work out pretty well.

And then the adventure begins.  Or, really, the scenario, because that's all there is, here.  The PCs are to run around and collect larvae and then they get to go home.

_What about the ingredients?_

"Time Out of Time" uses *Secret* as something Graz'zt knows about the nature of time and the PCs do not.  In no way is this secret ever presented as something the PCs can learn and take advantage of.  I think the stronger use of the ingredient is actually Graz'zt's plan to get adventurers to do dirty work for him.  That, at least, is something the players will interact with.

The *High Holy Days* are neither, high, nor holy, and, given the nature of time, I'm not even sure if they're days.  One thing I'm sure of is that they seem entirely incidental to the entry.  If they were not an ingredient, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have been mentioned.

The *Out of Time* ingredient was handled better.  It is a location/state that the players definitely interact with, even if the entry missed a great opportunity to let the players play around with it.

*Mundane Wonder*.  Using the words does not equate to using the ingredient.

*Home* is the place the PCs get to go after they complete their task.  That's it.  This is in no way relevant to the adventure, itself--and this is somewhat disappointing, because it _could_ have been, given the moral ambiguity (hell, the moral corruption) implicated in the task set before the PCs.  'Cause some of those souls that they give over to Graz'zt could hit close to home...

Which brings us to the *Unusual Currency*.  I'm sure there's some symbolic reason that the souls are manifest as larvae in this scenario.  Something about a state of being unfinished--in development.  I can totally buy them as an infernal currency.  I _really_ like the implications that the PCs are not just doing something gross--they are doing something morally abhorrent for Graz'zt.  What I _don't_ like is that it is presented as the only reasonable course of action (and not just by Graz'zt).  I think this ingredient--clearly the strongest of the bunch--had a lot of promise, but, like all of them, needed a little more attention and fleshing out.

"Untitled" ain't perfect, either, but it's got some great flavor.

The *High Holy Days* are significant as an element of the adventure--their nature is critical to the flow of the adventure.  Also, I am somewhat amused because I have a deity in a long-running game named Rotdoc.  Also an anagram.

*Out of Time* is a thematic ingredient manifest in several ways throughout the adventure.  Primarily, it is used to describe the effect of time-stopping that the creature/house K'Rikkt uses (or that uses it).  On another level, the "Time is Money" theme/ingredient has some interesting implications when you consider a few things.  Like, for instance, if the PCs have to pay good times to K'Rikkt, does Obbins?  And if he does, does he have many good days left?  He might be pretty close to running out of time, himself.  Then, of course, the PCs actually have to race against time to escape K'Rikkt when he goes home.  All in all, a very good use of the ingredient.

The *Mundane Wonder* is certainly wonderful, but is there really anything mundane about a time-stopping clock inside a time-traveling creature?

As for the use of *Home*, what can I say?  Wow.  Making the creature, K'Rikkt, Obbins' actual home was inspiring.  Making it's driving motivation (after the PCs encounter it, anyway, to return to _it's_ home is clever.  Another strong ingredient.

And then we get to the *Unusual Currency*.  Time is money, and money is consumed.  Not only that, but good times taste good.  Bad times taste bad.  Yeah.  I love this creature, but I don't ever want to meet it.  This is the creepiest and coolest part of an already creepy and cool adventure.  And the complications it can cause?  Oh my.





Spoiler



Imhotepthewise, I'm sorry to see such a rushed entry from you--sincerely, because I like where you were going with it.  There is a lot of potential packed into the scenario you presented.  It's just that the entry needed more development to bring it out.  I truly believe you have what it takes to compete in these tournaments, but I suggest you think more about your ingredients--particularly their relationships between each other and _with the players!_  I think if your adventure hadn't seemed so rushed, it would have seemed less linear, so I can't fault you on that, but I do think you should spend some more time fleshing out the whole next time around.  Good luck to you!

*Deuce Traveler*, you will advance to Round 2!


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## Rune (Jul 3, 2013)

*Round 1, Match 2: Wicht vs. MortalPlague*

[MENTION=221]Wicht[/MENTION] and   [MENTION=62721]MortalPlague[/MENTION], you have *24 hours* to post your entries to this thread.  Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted.  Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own.  You are on your honor to do so.

*Your ingredients are:

Poison Pill

Decrepit Bridge

Hearsay

Hallowed Ground

Heresy

Wealth of Information*


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 3, 2013)

Thanks Rune, I appreciate it and am happy you liked the adventure.  Hope to see you around in the future contests, [MENTION=976]Imhotepthewise[/MENTION] .  You definitely know your lore.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 3, 2013)

Thank you Deuce and Rune, it was great fun to finally participate in the game. Deuce, your writing is tight and you are a worthy adversary. Rune, I appreciate the time you take with this and your honest and fair judgement. I hope to make it in again next time.

By the way, Graz'zt is on the phone for both of you.


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## Rune (Jul 3, 2013)

Imhotepthewise said:


> Rune, I appreciate the time you take with this and your honest and fair judgement. I hope to make it in again next time.




I hope so, too.  I get the sense you'll do _much_ better next time.



> By the way, Graz'zt is on the phone for both of you.




Oh good.  I'm glad you didn't take it too hard!


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## Rune (Jul 3, 2013)

By the way,     [MENTION=34958]Deuce Traveler[/MENTION] and     [MENTION=976]Imhotepthewise[/MENTION], if you two would like to elaborate on your creative processes for this match, I think we'd all find it interesting and insightful.

In particular, _I'm_ be curious to know how the basic premises formed themselves in your minds.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 3, 2013)

Sure.  First, I have to admit that I had the most problem with the Home.  Each ingredient has to be integral to the story or adventure.  A home is almost too easy, since I could just state that the adventure occurs in someone's house.  But that doesn't work, either, because any building or dungeon is a house to someone, so such use is a bit week.

So then I thought about how to make a home integral to the adventure by having the home fortress of the party taken over and the party having to fight room by room reclaiming it.  The High Holy Days and Out of Time elements could be added somehow to make the threat planar or alien.  But I threw this idea out, because not every adventuring party owns a home.  In fact, in later editions of the game homes are hardly considered at all.

I then started going through my mind about what houses were famous in history.  Haunted houses are too cliche.  Baba Yaga and her house is pretty awesome, but was done in D&D before.  Still, the idea of a living, walking house I thought was pretty neat if I could only give it a new take.

I love Morrowind (much more than the other Elder Scroll games), and started thinking about the Silt Riders as an example of an alien creature in fantasy that walked around with insect-like legs and the idea for the house came together.  Out of Time and High Holy Days also were worked in, making the house extra-planar and truly alien.

The secret was also tough to make integral, and I think it was my weakest ingredient.  I decided that the secret was the nature of the house and how to gain entry.  Because it was so important, however, the idea of the house becoming hijacked came into being.

Because time became so important at this point, I couldn't help but think of using a clock as an internal organ to the creature, making it both a mundane object, but something with wondrous power.  Visually, I think of it as something that looks like it came from the set of The Naked Lunch or Beetlejuice.

For Unusual Currency, the only thing that seemed important as an element for this adventure was time.  I hated the idea of magically aging characters as part of the currency to enter because it seemed unfair.  Same for sacrificing experience points or some sort.  After awhile, I decided that a day of someone's life worked well as a narrative device, but if left to abuse a character would always pick a bad day or a failure to sacrifice.  I also thought of having Obbins sacrifice a day of his life each time, but remember it, becoming a sort of planar hedonist, but I tossed that idea out because it made quaint the idea of sacrificing important events and lacked appropriate gravity.  Finally, I decided to make sacrificing a day really matter, which had the additional effect of making Obbins and K'Rikkt's friendship more important and Obbins a pretty decent guy.  He's sacrificing for the friendship, just like K'Rikkt sacrificed by leaving home.  These two guys truly respect one another's mind and are willing to go to great lengths to philosophize together.

Finally, I thought of a character sacrificing a day where he saved a life, meaning that his decision to do so created a negative person.  A person who should exist, but doesn't.  I decided it was too distracting to my overall submission and would add another thousand words unnecessarily, but I still like the thought of an adventure to restore a timeline for a negative person... a person that should have existed but, due to a character's bad mistake or the machinations of an evil entity, no longer exists and leaves an unsettling hole in reality and a constant nagging in the party's mind.

Examples of a negative man from literature and song:

Antigonish by Hugh Mearns:

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
I wish, I wish he’d go away...

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door... (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away

The Man Who Sold the World, by Davie Bowie and later covered by Nirvana:

We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago

Oh no, not me
I never lost control
You're face to face
With The Man Who Sold The World

I laughed and shook his hand, and made my way back home
I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed

I gazed a gazely stare at all the millions here
We must have died alone, a long long time ago

Who knows? not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the Man who Sold the World


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## Wicht (Jul 3, 2013)

*The Haunting of Weeping Oak*

*Background*
The small village of Weeping Oak, known primarily for its soft wool, cured lamb shanks, and quaint wood-carvings, lies three days journey from the larger community of Hillsfold. Hillsfold has, of recent year, risen in prominence and power due to a conflux of religious and political events. The promotion of the Bishop Alzarn, a native of Hillsfold, to Grand Celestial Clergy of the King's Own, the subsequent expansion of the Temple in Hillsfold, and the establishment of a Knight's Lodge have all worked to make the once sleepy backwater city into a true economic and political entity. And, as its power has grown, so has its reach and influence upon the surrounding countryside. 

Hillsfold has, of late, in all good faith, been sending emissaries to neighboring towns and villages, offering protection and seeking to establish a union of sister communities, all under the leadership of Hillsfold. By and large other communities have readily agreed, in no small part due to their reverence for the priests of the Hillsfold Temple and theirespect for the protective power of the Knight's Lodge.

But Weeping Oak is quite content to be its own village and wants no part of Hillsfold's scheme. Their reasoning lies in the faith of the villagers. They are followers of a heretical sect of druidic priests which disdain the dogma of the King's Faith, and instead follow a more primitive nature worship. Their faith is largely benign, excepting the kidnapping and sacrifice of a virgin during the Summer Harvest moon, and the fact that the elite of the faith are all werewolves. Recognizing that the Priests of Hillsfold would condemn their heresy, and would send missionaries to try and convert them, or maybe even kill them, the villagers have agreed upon a plan to make their village, one of the furthest from Hillsfold within the region, unpalatable as a sister community. Their plan involves claiming that their village appear is cursed and haunted; and they are going to use an actual haunted bridge, north of the village, to aid them.

*Synopsis*
The PCs are approached by representatives of the powers of Hillsfold, who earnestly desire to help the plight of the village of Weeping Oak. Weeping Oak has begged off joining the collection of communities Hillsfold desires to lead, citing, as their reason for doing so, the fact that they are cursed and their fear of spreading this curse to others. Upset that Weeping Oak is apparently suffering so from some calamity or other, and thinking that solving the problem will demonstrate Hillsfold's good intentions, they want the PCs to investigate the problems of Weeping Oak and, if possible, settle them, exorcizing any demons or curses that might actually afflict the smaller community. 

The PCs, traveling to Weeping Oak, find it a rather pleasant community, full of seemingly cheerful people; except when the subject of the curse is brought up. Then each villager has a dread story to tell about the ghastly haunts reported by their neighbors, the sickness and death visited upon this herd or that, and the problems they have had with the harvests in recent years. As the PCs further investigate, they do discover strange things afoot, especially north of town at the bridge called “Daemin's Stand” by the locals, which is haunted by a powerful ghost.

In the meantime, the PCs are also attacked by a spellcasting werewolf (a priest who disagrees with the plan), are led on several wild goose chases, including dealing with any local monsters the villagers can find, and find themselves suffering from apparent food poisoning.  

The more the PCs investigate, both in Weeping Oak, and in Hillsfold, the more they realize the villagers must be lying. Eventually, they discover the true nature of Weeping Oak's secret, or at least a part of it, and must decide whether to confront the heretical cult, or else let it be.

*The Village and Its Secrets*
The villagers of Weeping Oak are, outwardly, a perfectly normal group of people. They are cheerful and friendly to strangers. However, the leaders of the community are actually druidic werewolves belonging to an old cult of blood-sacrifices and cannibalism. Little evidence of this cult shows in the mannerisms of the villagers, though there are signs here and there of the “old faith.” Likewise the King's Shrine in the middle of town is little used, except when the priest from Hillsfold visits. Then the villagers take turns pretending to pay their respects. 

PCs investigating the village discover that the villagers are only too eager to share with them their problems and the problems caused by the “curse.” In truth, at the beginning of concocting this plan, the villagers gathered around their sacred oak and told a variety of spooky tales, implausible stories, and fabricated fictions to one another, so that they could truthfully pass on such tales as having “been heard.” Thus, while each villager has only a limited number of things they can report as having happened to them bad, they have a wealth of tales to tell about what their neighbors have reported happening. In particular, the villagers try to point the PCs towards Daemin's Stand, a bridge north of town, as the center of the curse.

The High Priest of Weeping Oak, and his acolytes, live as normal villagers most of the year, only donning their robes for ceremonies at night, or taking their alternate forms to hunt during the full moons. These druidic priests are all in full control of their wolf nature and are careful to commit their heinous acts of violence as werewolves in such a way as to not leave any signs pointing to Weeping Oak. Still and all, the regions around Weeping Oak are said to be full of werewolves but the village itself reports no such thing as plaguing them.

North of Hillsfold is an old bridge, called, “Daemin's Stand” by the locals, in honor of one of their priests of old who used the bridge as a choke point to single-handedly stop the advance of an orc horde. Though the powerful priest, Daemin, died in the fight, his effort weakened the horde and allowed the rest of the village time to prepare an effective defense. Since that time, the ghost of the lycanthropic priest has haunted the bridge, attacking those not of the faith, but healing and blessing the remains of his “flock,” when they bring him offerings. Though the wood of the bridge is failing, and the villagers no longer use it for travel, they do not knock it down, out of respect for their hero and benefactor, considering the bridge sacred. In fact, if the PCs are stealthy they can observe the villagers interacting with the ghost. However, the villagers all provide accounts other than the truth to the PCs about the nature of the ghost there. A few claim it is a vengeful demon. Some of them claim it is the spirit of a highwayman who died in the waters under the bridge. Others say that it is the collective spirits of murder victims and their deranged killer haunting the bridge. Still others claim that it is a sign of the gods' wrath and that the village must remain isolated from all others until it passes. The villagers also all suggest various ways of laying the spirit to rest, all of them futile, and some of them dangerous, such as sacrificing a live wyvern upon the bridge, defeating the ghost in unarmed combat, or spending 24 hours in prayer and silent meditation upon the bridge. Truthfully the villagers hope the ghost kills the PCs, thereby creating more evidence for the seriousness of their “curse.”

West of the village, in the woods, upon a blood-soaked hill, is an ancient, gnarled oak: the sacred tree of the village. This tree drinks in virgin blood once each year in a ceremony meant to bless the village. If the PCs should discover and try to desecrate the site, they bring the wrath of the village down upon them and find the whole village turns out to hunt them.

*Investigating in the Great Library*
There is, in Hillsfold, connected to the new Knight's Lodge, a grand library with records going back three hundred years on the communities around Hillsfold. If the PCs think to return there to investigate the bridge, or Weeping Oak, they can discover the story of Daemin's Stand, absent any mention of lycanthropy. Alternately, they can discover that the founders of the community were elsewhere accused of being werewolves, and that the community was once suspected of heresy but no charges were ever brought. 

*Events During the Adventure*
It is likely that the PCs try to destroy the ghost of Daemin and fail; the only way to lay his spirit to rest is to utterly destroy the village he is sworn to protect (albeit he is limited in that protection by his being anchored to the bridge that bears his name). The villagers use such failure as prove of their cursed status and thus as further reason why Hillsfold should not want to associate too closely with them (though cany observers will note the village still wants to sell its wares). 

If the PCs are around near to the Summer Equinox, they hear reports of a kidnapped girl in a neighboring village. The girl has been taken by the priests of Weeping Oak, and will be sacrificed if the plot is not uncovered (this is one way the adventure might climax). 

The PCs are attacked one night by a spellcasting werewolf, one of the priests who thinks the whole plan is foolishness. He tries to kill them and if he fails, he flees to try again.

In an attempt to make the village appear cursed, the innkeeper poisons the food of the PCs, hoping to make them violently ill.

*Concluding the Adventure*
If the PCs give up the quest to save Weeping Oak, the village remains forever independent. 

If the PCs uncover the true nature of Weeping Oak's heresy, there are two ways the adventure might end: in violence or acceptance. If the villagers suspect the PCs of suspecting their heresy, they will attempt to put a good light on it, begging the PCs to look the other way, allowing the village to continue following its “ancient ways.” This goes down better if the PCs don't know about the human sacrifices and cannibalism. When these things are discovered, the village attempts to murder the PCs as quickly as possible. 

_*Poison Pill* – the plan to make Weeping Oak appear to be cursed and haunted and therefore a poor candidate for Hillsfold's collection of communities. 
*Decrepit Bridge* - the scene of a supposed mass suicide and murder. Its haunted, alright, but the ghost cannot be laid to rest by listening to the villagers of Weeping Oak
*Hearsay *– While there are some villagers in Weeping Oak who will claim to have seen a ghost or goblin around town, most of them report what they heard from their neighbor or friend, especially if they suspect the PCs are using magic to divine the truth. 
*Hallowed Ground* – The bridge itself is a minor religious site for the villagers, who leave offerings for the ghost there. To the west of town is a great oak tree, the true “consecrated” ground, revered by the villagers and the site of their religious celebrations. 
*Heresy *– the faith of the villagers of weeping oak: it not only reject's the king's faith, but also promotes human sacrifice, cannibalism, and lycanthropy. 
*Wealth of Information *– The town of Weeping Oak is full of information concerning the town's plight: Too much information, some of it conflicting, almost all of it wrong. Of greater help is the Grand Library of Hillfold, connected to the newly established Knight's Lodge. The scribes of the library have amassed a wealth of information on the region, including troubling histories surrounding Weeping Oak. _


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 3, 2013)

Very nice, Wicht!  I like creepy.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 4, 2013)

Commentary on Time Out Of Time

None of the ingredients scared me. I zeroed in immediately on Unusual Currency. Reading many places that larvae are coin of the realm in the lower planes, I knew it was an unusual starting point.

Surprisingly, Mundane Wonder caught me next, and I was surprised I did not convey it better. I should NOT have given in on using the words in text, and left it up to the reader to get my meaning. Even Graz’zt is sophisticated enough to appreciate the world in detail when you can observe it closely and slowly enough to appreciate it. We appreciate closeup pictures of flowers and bugs. Many action films use slow motion to accentuate action scenes for effect. Two scenes that illustrate this are second Transformers where Bumblebee skins the panther transformer and the latest Conan movie where the final sword fight uses it to show Conan getting his butt kicked.  I think if I hadn’t sinned by using the name of the ingredient, I would have not lost that one.

Using Graz’zt was inspired by Sepuchrave’s Tales of Wyre. Sep uses Graz’zt sparingly but consistently enough that you always feel he’s got a dog in every fight.  I considered what Graz’zt would do to humiliate and crush mortals without killing them.  I know I would not be able to play this one out, I would not be able to be that mean for that long.

Now, the High Holy (Unholy) Days were important, in my mind. Graz’zt is not a being I think would be fond of passing gifts around. It would have to be at some time where he would gain something for doing so. A time where he could show off at his “generosity” and cleverness at providing a memorable gift. A gift with gravity beyond its worth. He intends this gift to be part of his scheme to get out from under the thumb of whoever is the recipient.

Home was Graz’zt’s bittersweet carrot to twist the victims for his own pleasure. Sure, you can go home, but no one will know you are there. It will be home, but not. It was a further example of Graz’zt’s cruelty. I probably could have had him take the victims there to show this in person.

The Secret was not an ingredient the players could exploit, but it was a secret nonetheless. Twisted into this is the description of its origin which further enhanced Graz’zt’s credibility as a meany.

Out of Time developed out of my absolute refusal to use it as a deadline type thing. I looked at the differences in the spell descriptions of Haste and Time Stop, and considered the control of the flow of time between those two spells. Haste speeds you up enough that you can do slightly more than everybody else around you, Time Stop speeds you up so fast that everybody essentially freezes around you. If you were able to open and close the spigot, you could do some interesting stuff. If I were to incorporate something like this actually in the game, there would definitely be some “time cops” to make sure it was not going to be a game breaker.

In real life it was a hot and steamy evening here in Eastern Connecticut and another night where thunderstorms were in the forecast, where we often have power and internet blips. I did not want to get caught with a polished entry with no way to send it in.

I love building dialog and fleshing out NPCs. In my opinion, well developed NPCs are the hallmark of a good game. This is not to say they have to be meticulously statted out. They have to be recognizable by presentation whenever they pop up to interact with the player characters.  The players like to see them, the good ones and the bad ones, when they show up.

I will continue to follow the contest and learn from the pros. I have been reading these since the first ones were run over ten years ago. I have saved many entries for plagerization. I am not ashamed.

Have fun, everybody, that is what this is all about.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 4, 2013)

Oops!


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## Rune (Jul 4, 2013)

Please folk!  Hide your commentary on ongoing matches behind spoiler or sblock tags!  I want to view the entries with fresh eyes!


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## MortalPlague (Jul 4, 2013)

*A Case Of Mistaken Identity*

*The Elements*
[sblock]
*Poison Pill* - The jar of lightning Salander carries to slay the god is a poison pill.  It is not a conventional weapon, but rather must administer the poison (the lightning) to Asceon's core.

*Decrepit Bridge* - The bridge of the crashed starship that serves as Asceon's home and lair serves as this element.  The stat blocks for his defense systems would elaborate on the decrepitude by making many attacks unreliable or random.

*Hearsay* - The tome 'Hearsay' fulfills this requirement, both in name and in its operation by regurgitating information.

*Hallowed Ground* - Asceon's Sanctum is hallowed ground.

*Heresy* - The tome 'Heresy' partially fulfills this requirement, but the more interesting example is Asceon's deification.  And, from a certain angle, Salander's quest to slay a god is also heresy.

*Wealth of Information* - The books created by Asceon are known as the 'Wealth Of Information'.  They literally provided a wealth of information to an unprepared population, and the empire crumbled under the weight of it.
 [/sblock]


*Adventure Background*

Five hundred years ago, a god fell from the sky.

Asceon was his name.  His legs were shattered in the fall, but his mind was sharp as ever.  And what a mind it was!  His intellect became renowned, and devotees realized that surely, this was a divine student of the god of knowledge.  A grand temple was built to house the god.  While he could not move, he delighted in conversing with sages and priests, and learned people of every race and station.  Worried that their god would become tired of all the visitations, the priests of Asceon began to restrict the numbers they admitted to see him.  At first, they chose the most learned and wise, but as the years passed, they admitted those willing to pay the best price.

Though Asceon was disappointed at his priest's actions, he was not one to challenge his fledgeling church.  But he was still resolved to spread knowledge to the world.  He created a set of tomes, known as the Wealth Of Information, and he instructed his priests to distribute them to the people.  It was a set of four tomes.  Their volumes were Hearsay, Harmony, History, and Heresy.  Somewhat concerned at the fourth volume's name, the priests hid it, and distributed the other three books to learned sages.

They marvelled at the books; Hearsay was quickly discarded as a useless novelty, but Harmony and History were both incredible tomes, teaching great feats of magic and science.  As the knowledge was handed to them on a silver platter, the nation became complacent.  They gained fantastic knowledge, but they had no respect for it.  They hadn't had to work for it.  And the empire began to rot from within.

There was a civil war, and it shattered the empire.  The fragments of the great nation formed their own nations, and Asceon's Sanctum was forgotten.  The books were lost.



*Where Do The PCs Come In?*

While looting a chest, the PCs have come upon one of the ancient tomes, Hearsay.  The tome is an odd one; iron covers, and the pages are covered in scrawl from different hands in different languages.  Every language is represented at least once.  The scrawl is all nonsense; even with considerable effort, nothing can be gleaned from it.

Just as they are examining it, a voice whispers, "Forget about the stupid book.  It's useless anyways.  We need to get out of here before the Emperor's forces surround the place.  The book is Asceon's joke.  Wealth of information?  Hah."

If the PCs linger in the area for a little longer, another whisper comes from the book.  "What do you mean, you don't have the money?  We had a deal, Brooks.  And you don't break deals with Black Charlie."

After another couple of minutes, there is yet another whisper.  "Do you think anyone saw us come down here?  I'll get in so much trouble if my daddy knows who I'm... seeing."

The PCs may make knowledge or intelligence checks to discern that these three whispers are from three different time periods.  Whatever the book is doing, it ought to intrigue the PCs enough that they seek out a sage or a library to figure out more about it.

The tome can hear whispers from the past, spoken in that area, and bring them forward.  Hearsay doesn't filter the information; it just regurgitates what it finds at random.  Throughout the adventure, Hearsay will often have random tidbits to share, and the DM is encouraged to invent other inconsequential things for the book to contribute.

Any amount of research can reveal the background information above.  Clearly, the PCs hold one of the tomes.  The whereabouts of the others are hinted at in records of the war; most scholars agree that Harmony and History were probably destroyed in the conflict.  But as the PCs are researching, Hearsay picks up some pieces of information.

1 - _"Take the books; Asceon was wrong to trust us with them.  Return them to his Sanctum.  Man is not worthy of his gifts."_
2 - _"One of these days, Zharich is going to fall on his face, and I can't wait to see it happen."_
3 - _"Consul Davos, I have read Heresy.  I know the truth.  Asceon must be destroyed."_
4 - _"But with proper application of enchantment, one can bind the spirit to the scepter, creating a totem staff."_

Only pieces 1 and 3 are of any use, and 3 is actually recent.  Gathering information, the PCs may determine that Consul Davos is a foreign dignitary from the land of Nalair, in service to a Cleric of Ioun named Salander Chayn.  Recent reports indicate that Salander left town a week ago, in the company of two mercenaries, Tansley Griffon (a fierce warrior) and Carabelle Islington (a capable mage).

One way or another, the PCs will be headed for Asceon's Sanctum.  Salander's pace is quick, but the PCs are seasoned travellers, and can narrow the distance between the groups.  By the time they reach the Sanctum, only an hour or two seperate the quarry from the hunters.



*The City And The Sanctum*

The temple is a huge monastery built around Asceon himself.  It sits at the top of a large hill, in the center of the ruins of a large city.  There are carnivorous creatures and monstrous humanoids afoot here, picking through the ruins of what once was an empire's heartland.  At the top of the hill, the massive stone structure still stands, proud and solemn.  It is more like a grand tomb now than a place of learning and worship.

The first obstacle for our stalwart heroes will be these monsters and scavengers.  Whether through stealth or combat, or other means, they will have to pick their way past the foes.  However, Hearsay will offer a few tidbits of information that might allow them to pass unseen.

1 - _"Tansley, have a look in that building's cellar, the secret passage should be there."_  The book is repeating what Salander told to his mercenary not long ago.  Should the PCs follow up on the clue, they'll find a secret passage in the cellar, which winds between two buildings, saving the PCs a few hours of travel.

2 - _"Men, look around you.  We are brothers.  We are soldiers.  And we will defend our streets against these creatures.  There are no others I would rather have at my back."_  The book is repeating the words of a guard captain from the days of the civil war, when a horde of magically-summoned creatures destroyed the city.

3 - _"These are Asceon's gifts to us!  Look!  See the claws, sharp enough to rend stone?  See the teeth?  These creatures will win the war for us."_  The book is repeating what a powerful mage said while showing off the creatures she summoned with the knowledge gained from the books.

There are other lines which are of little consequence, but Hearsay does not filter.  It will happily channel lines of little use to the PCs.  Here are three other lines it may pluck from the annals of history, but the DM should feel free to be creative and invent others.

4 - _"Why did you use the wood stain for that?  You ruined it!"_
5 - _"Do you think Quinsley knows it's a fake?  The way he carries on, protecting it and showing it off, it's like he doesn't know that everyone can see the chipped paint."_
6 - _"You fool, what have you done?!  Don't you know they'll hang you?"_


Picking their way through the ruins, the PCs will eventually reach Asceon's Sanctum.  The massive stone door stands ajar.  But as the PCs approach the door, Hearsay will whisper, _"Carabelle, Tansley, make sure our interlopers do not interrupt me."_  The book foils the planned ambush, and if the PCs are clever, offers them the opportunity to turn it around on them!

Carabelle and Tansley are mercenaries of some skill, though they are still mercenaries; they could be bought out.  They could be persuaded to stand down (although that's somewhat more challenging).  If it comes to blows, neither one will fight to the death; they'll attempt to escape, or will surrender if necessary.  If they must, to save their own lives, they will tell the PCs that Salander plans to use a tiny magical device to destroy the god.  It is a tiny phial filled with lightning with a needle point at one end.



*Asceon*

As the PCs finish dealing with the mercenaries (or find another way in), strange sounds begin to echo from the inner sanctum of the temple.  Strange, electronic sounds.  Beeps and alarms, the likes of which the PCs have never heard before.

The truth is that Asceon is an AI on board a crashed starship.  Most of the vessel burned up when it hit the atmosphere, and none of the crew survived.  The starship's bridge and its emergency power source are all that remains, shattered on the rocky ground.  When people first discovered the ship, Asceon appeared; a great holographic head of vaguely human appearance.  It took two minutes and a mental scan to learn the local language, and then Asceon began to converse with his guests.

Not knowing what to make of it, the discovers named Asceon a god, and built the temple.  And became his priests.

As the PCs pass through the temple, Hearsay will offer up plenty of information.  There are still some scavengers who lurk on the dark places of Asceon's Sanctum, so the PCs may be busy fending them off.

1 - _"A being of pure light?  Who speaks all languages and knows all secrets?  Surely he is a god.  Who else can do such things?"_
2 - _"Your Excellency, there has been a terrible accident!  Brother Gerard is... well, he's gone!  He was cleaning near the altar and there was an awful wail and a flash of light, then..."_
3 - _"Your masquerade is at an end, Asceon."_

The following messages are from the aliens who originally flew the ship.  It is a language nobody has heard before, though someone with magical comprehension could decipher it.  Though perhaps deciphering the messages would only further confuse a poor PC.

4 - (indecipherable) _"The port fin is sheared off and we're venting plasma.  We're going down, there's nothing I can do about it."_
5 - (indecipherable) _"What do the scanners say about their power level?"_
6 - (indecipherable) _"Captain, I can't put any more power to the shields!  We're going to burn up in atmo!"_

Soon, the PCs will find their way to the inner sanctum, where they will pass through the doors to find a dome-shaped room built around the shattered bridge of the crashed starship.  In the center, a luminscent head floats above a console, tilted slightly with the angle of the projector beneath it.  A series of small pedestals and stations lay all about, and there are many sparking wires and dangling cables.  More sinister still, there are a number of panels that are closed, which a perceptive character might notice could swing open.

The head will turn to the players and smile, speaking in smooth, neutral tones.  "Welcome.  I am Asceon.  What do you seek to know?"

"I thought you'd have given up by now," Salander says, fiddling with a tiny jar of lightning.  He is a tall man with gaunt features, and a certain zeal in his eyes.  He carries a black tome titled Heresy in his other hand.  "In any case, you know the truth.  Asceon is not a god."

"Your people called me such," Asceon replies.  "The title fits."

At this point, Salander will plead his case.  He seeks to end the heresy of Asceon's existence, where people proclaim him as a god when really he is just a construct.  The jar of lightning must be jammed into a socket at the base of Asceon's projector, which will short-circuit the AI's core computer, putting an end to him for good.  Asceon will proclaim his mission to share information, and protest that violence is the antithesis of his being.  But self-defense is a core mandate for a god, and he will defend himself should need be.

If the players side with Salander, Asceon will bring his defenses to bear.  Several unreliable laser cannons and short-range disintegration beams will try and vaporize the party.  But should any manage to plant the device in the console, Asceon will perish.

If the players side with Asceon, Salander will attempt to defeat them with magic.  He will try his best to get to the console and spike it with lightning.  With the PCs defending him, Asceon feels no need to show his weapons; it goes against his better nature.

Whichever way the chips fall, the adventure is concluded.



*Further Adventures*

The tomes Harmony and History are still missing.  Harmony is a potent aid for metamagic, offering both startling secrets in its pages and the magical ability to bolster spellcasting.  History is more academic, but its magic allows one to sift through its pages by thought, finding what they seek instantly.  Recovering them could be a lucrative enterprise.


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 4, 2013)

(Tim says something complimentary and Non specific about the entry)


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## Rune (Jul 4, 2013)

It's usually a good sign when I don't know the winner after the first read-through!


Also, folk, I do encourage commentary on ongoing matches!  I'm definitely not trying to shut it down.  Just please hide it 



Spoiler



like this


 or [sblock]like this[/sblock].


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## Rune (Jul 5, 2013)

*Round 1, Match 2 Judgement: MortalPlague vs. Wicht*

There's a lot to like in both of these entries, so I might dig a little deeper looking for flaws.  Both contestants should take that as a compliment; both of these were good entries (well, one was a _great_ entry).

_I'll start with the ingredients._

For those of you who don't know, a *Poison Pill* can sometimes refer to a literal poison pill (used, for instance, to commit suicide instead of being captured), but also refers to a business practice by which a company averts hostile takeover by diluting the value of its shares.  It also has come to refer to an amendment to a legal bill that is intended to prevent the bill from passing.  MortalPlague's entry, henceforth referred to as “Mistaken Identity,” uses a literal interpretation of the ingredient—with a twist.  It's neat, but, unfortunately, amounts to nothing more than a McGuffin—and not even one the PCs are likely to interact with much.  On the other hand, Wicht's entry, which I will refer to as “Haunting,” uses the business interpretation, more or less.  And, with it, creates an amazing scenario for the players to get caught up in.

The *Decrepit Bridge* in “Haunting” has great atmosphere and a really good connection to the town—and it's current situation.  Yet, it really could have been any location and still worked.  Sure, it would have felt a little less like _Sleepy Hollow_ if it wasn't a bridge, but, fundamentally, it didn't need to be decrepit or a bridge to work in the adventure.  It, therefore, was but window-dressing.  “Mistaken Identity” uses the ingredient much better.  It _absolutely_ had to be the ancient and decrepit starship bridge that it was.  Also, great twist!  Some groups might not like it, but I know mine would!

*Hearsay* is used well by both entries.  “Mistaken Identity” might better have called its book, “Eavesdropping” instead of “Hearsay,” but the language of the hints could easily be altered without changing the function.  And what a function!  The constant whispering of all kinds of—often completely banal—information makes a tedious McGuffin into a flavorful NPC.  Nice.  But hold on!  “Haunting” steps it up with this ingredient—having the villagers intentionally create a web of hearsay as part of their plan is clever.  Using it to drive the adventure is beautiful.

Unfortunately, the *Hallowed Ground* in “Haunting” was much like it's use of the *Decrepit Bridge*: it makes for good atmosphere, but it doesn't seem especially significant in the context of the whole.  In “Mistaken Identity,” it is significant—it's the crux of the whole adventure!

Then there's *Heresy*.  I would very much like to have known what was in the book, “Heresy,” in “Mistaken Identity.”  As it is, I never got a sense of _just_ how it fit in to the four volumes.  I assume that it contained the truth about Asceon.  But, that's an assumption on my part, because we're never actually told what's in the book.  Which is a shame, because it turns an interesting bit of the game into yet another McGuffin.  In its current state, it could hardly count as a fulfillment of the ingredient-requirement.  Yet, it never really was meant to fulfill that purpose, as far as I can tell.  Salander is the real heretic and his beliefs seem to be backed up with the book.  But, even this could have been detailed better.  We never really get inside his head at all.  All we know is that he intends to kill a (false) god (which is more of a blasphemous act than a heretical one, by the way—heresy is fundamentally about _belief_).  It feels like much effort was spent in developing this part of the adventure, and yet much potential was also squandered.

“Haunting” is more subtle with its use, but it is also more prevalent.  The heretics drive the action, the heresy motivates them to maintain their independence (their very lives could depend on it), and the heresy is the unknown factor that will haunt the PCs has they unravel things.  Subtle, but damned good.

As for the *Wealth of Information:* “Haunting” does a credible job with the final ingredient, simply overloading the PCs with rumors and rumors and rumors.  Forcing the PCs to sort out what's true and what's not—especially with the total collusion within the village and the tricks being played upon them—that's fun.  But, while the definition of the ingredient was technically met, I was hoping for a little more.  Fortunately, I got it with “Mistaken Identity.”  Sure, calling the set of books “Wealth of Information” was a little cumbersome, but it really was a lot of information—in various forms and, more importantly (to me), really felt like wealth.  It was something that could (and was) used by a society and by individuals to alter their situations.  It was something that had the potential to corrupt and decay a society.  It was even something with value relative to the tome and to those possessing or seeking the tomes.  And, oh, yeah, it was something to be shared—or collected and closely guarded.  Yeah.  That's what I was looking for.



Spoiler



So, the entries are pretty even as far as the ingredients go.  That leaves the adventures themselves.  They both look fun.  I can see myself running them both.  But one of them would require a lot more work for me to run, for a few reasons.  “Mistaken Identity” has a lot of potential for fun stuff to happen, but is written very linearly.  It's a great premise and has great elements in it.  It has a great  story, but, ultimately, it feels too much like a story to be run as-is.  “Haunting” in contrast, is very open in the way it is designed to play, while, at the same time, being a very tight adventure.  It is superb, even for one of Wicht's entries.

MortalPlague, I liked your piece.  A lot.  Based on your performance in this match, I am certain that you'll produce strong entries in future tournaments, if you enter.  This time, however, Wicht advances to Round 2.


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## Wicht (Jul 5, 2013)

Two go in, one comes out!  On to round two!

Seriously though, very good entry, MortalPlague; that was an entry worthy of advancement and I hope to be able to face you again.


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## MortalPlague (Jul 5, 2013)

I'll surely be back.  Any time you go up against Wicht in the first round, though, all bets are off!

Good game.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 5, 2013)

Both were great entries.  I liked the science fiction meets fantasy in one, and the creepy village with werewolves in the other.  Bravo to you both!


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## Rune (Jul 7, 2013)

So,  [MENTION=221]Wicht[/MENTION] and  [MENTION=62721]MortalPlague[/MENTION], I'm sure we'd all be very interested to hear about your creative processes for these entries.


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## Wicht (Jul 8, 2013)

As I read through the ingredients, the decrepit bridge was the first ingredient to grab hold of my imagination and I immediately thought of an old covered bridge in the country. And of course it had to be haunted. While I agree with the judge that the bridge reads like mere scenery in the write-up, it was actually the seed that germinated the rest of the scenario. Without that bridge, the scenario would have turned out very differently.

You can have a lot of things happen on or near a bridge: suicides, murders, drownings. There can be all sorts of stories surrounding it. My next step was poison pill. Hearsay and heresy were both percolating, but poison pill needed some thought and so I googled it, read the definitions and tried to think of the concept of a poison pill in a medieval or fantasy setting. The idea of one community trying to annex another was the logical thought, but it had to be being done in the context of a bid for control that could be thwarted. Marching armies was too direct and thus out. Perhaps one community trying to establish itself as the leader of surrounding communities... There was a thought...

Religion was a real possibility for a reason one community might have greater authority, a new prophet, spiritual leader or temple could cause the influence of a city to grow. And religion allowed for heresy... and if the heresy was on the part of the village that did not want to be controlled, then that village could craft a poison pill plan to keep the other community away... And they could use hearsay to create confusion and a mystery... They could provide a wealth of information, misleading information that could have the PCs chasing their tales...  And maybe at the same time, there should be a really big library somewhere (the library was an ingredient that never fully developed, though I included it). 

About this time, I decided to have the big city be entirely the good guys and the village be entirely the bad guys. The Wicker Man came to mind and I decided to go with a primitive druidic faith that ate people. Werewolves was a logical choice and I may have been partially swayed by  some writing I have done about a similar village in Golarion . 

Hallowed Ground, to me, initially was the bridge, though the new temple, and the villagers sacred tree were also in the mix.   The list I turned in at the end was actually my first words on the screen. My second step was coming up with names and writing the backstory. I went from there to writing up the adventure itself. I meant to play up the mystery angle of the bridge a bit more, but time was short for me, and I did not get to fully flesh out this aspect of the story, but if I were going to write it up as an actual adventure, I would spend much time trying to fully develop the various stories the villagers told about the bridge to make the bridge more central to the adventure.


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## Rune (Jul 9, 2013)

*Round 1, Match 3: EP vs. Radiating Gnome*

[MENTION=41744]EP[/MENTION] and  [MENTION=150]Radiating Gnome[/MENTION], you have *24 hours* to post your entries to this thread.  Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted.  Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own.  You are on your honor to do so.

*Your ingredients are:

Introverted Aboleth

Fork in the Road

Lonely City

Point of No Return

Inspirational Sermon

Changeling*


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## EP (Jul 9, 2013)

Hmm, I was hoping to save my idea for an introverted aboleth for another project, but I guess now's as good a time as ever. 

See you all in less than 24.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 9, 2013)

*The Sermon of Kingfish VII*

The Sermon of Kingfish VII 
by Radiating Gnome

*Ingredients:*
Introverted Aboleth
Fork in the Road
Lonely City
Point of No Return
Inspirational Sermon
Changeling

*Backstory:*


Freehaven was an independent citystate, on the tip of a peninsula, famous for seagoing trade, free markets, rumors of piracy, and for being ruled by a family of Aboleths. 
15 years ago, upon the death of its progenitor, Gremtilosse, aka Kingfish VII, took the throne. Unwilling to continue with the work of ruling the city, it called up a permanent hurricane/demiplane of storm to surround the city, cutting off  seagoing and flying travel to the city, and making travel along the lone road to the city nearly impossible. The city itself is in the eye of that storm. 
Gremtilosse hates dealing with any beings in person, except on it's own terms. It's obsession is to create the perfect Sermon of Assumption, to harness the faith-based power of thousands of souls and elevate itself to godhood. 
Gremtilosse tweaks and revises the sermon each day, trying to perfect it, and has been experimenting with the harmonics of that faith energy by taking  active control over which worshiper are in which temple, and where they are seated, to attempt the perfect divine harmonics and elevate itself, finally, to divinity. 
Life in the city has become grim. Cut off from all sources of food, trade, and resources, the residents are entirely dependent upon the clergy for food, a bland fish stew served after services each day. 
Gremtilosse never appears in public, sending it's changeling High Priest, Soldi Anter, as his mouthpiece. Anter's mind is a twisted place -- even for a changeling -- bent by years of mind control and the telepathic presence of the Aboleth King. Over the years Anter has built compartments within his mind where he can keep ideas away from Gremtilosse, and he planned escape. 
About a month ago, Gremtilosse escaped. He learned over the years that Gremtilosse finds intoxication deeply disturbing, so to keep the beast out of his mind he has to keep himself powerfully drunk. So, staggering, he crawled out through the hurricane, used his ability to shapechange to get past the guards at the edge of the storm, and was free, so long has he remains drunk. His escape was short-lived, however. He told his story in a tavern, passed some drunken notes to the local lord, and then passed out.  Unconscious, he sobered enough for the Aboleth to regain control and force Anter to return to the city.

*Hook*:

The PCs are approached by the lord who spoke to Drunk Anter. He gives them the packet of notes left by Anter, tells them what he can, and asks them to make their way to Freehaven, make contact with Anter, and see what they can do to save the city. 

The packet of papers include most of the information given in the backstory, as well as more details about the Sermon of Assumption. Make this a big pile of handouts and allow the Pcs to work through it at their own pace. Details should include a little background on the two holy orders that serve the Aboleth (the _Order of the Net_, monks who handle the logistics and keep order in the city, and the _Order of the Trident_, clerics who deliver the sermons each day). 


*Approaching the City*

Approaching by sea or air is impossible because of the hurricane-force storm. By land, they first encounter a guard post manned by a handful of monks armed with nets. These monks warn them away, letting them know that if they enter the storm, they will not be able to come back.  This is true -- after Anter's escape, the barrier between the demiplane/storm was strengthened to only allow passage in, not out -- so once the PCs enter they will not be able to get back out unless Gremtilosse is killed or convinced to let them leave. 

The approach will be an extended skill challenge --or series of skill challenges -- that test the resourcefulness end endurance of the PCs. They should be tapped out by the time they reach the city. 

*Freehaven*

Freehaven is basically a city that has been under seige for 15 years. The people are stumbling shells, whose days consist of finding their neighborhood Warden, a Brother of the Net who gives them their daily temple and seat assignments; then they go to that temple, sit in their assigned seat, and listen to the sermon.  After the service, the Brothers of the Net provide them the fish stew that is their only source of food (with the exception of rare stores of luxuries, which have been almost all depleted over the years).  

Bearing weapons, obvious spellcasting tools, or armor in the city is forbidden. Most of the people wear well-worn rags (no way to get new clothes for the past 15 years).  Since the city does not get visitors, though, there's not much need for a sign to tell visitors that those items are forbidden.  So the PCs will stand out like a sore thumb if they don't take measures to look like they belong. If they don't, they will have repeated encounters with patrols of Order of the Net patrols (and alert the city to the presence of outsiders). 

The people mostly stare, and are not helpful, but that will immediately turn around if they're offered food.  Even trail rations would be a welcome break after 15 years of the same crappy stew.  The people have not seen Gremtilosse, whom they call Kingfish VII, for many years. His predecessors were much more interested in public displays, but Gremtilosse only interacts with the people through his high priest and the two holy orders. 

*The Sermons*

The PCs should experience one of the sermons early. The scene starts with bells tolling the call to prayer; people drop what they're doing and shuffle into temples.  They take specific assigned seats (different daily, given to them on chits by the Order of the Net). Then a Brother of the Trident steps up to the altar and delivers a real fire-and-brimstone sermon.  Harmonic divine energies build in the temples -- resonating between the people and the priest, driven to crescendo by the sermon, all channeling power to a power crystal (one for each temple) in the wall of the palace.  

In the streets, strange magical effects are felt in the flux of that power -- magic is  unpredictable, may fizzle completely, triple in strength, or do something entirely different than what was expected.  Then, the sermon ends; the people, exhausted, take their bowl of stew and go home. 

The PCs need to make contact with Anter.  


If they're being sneaky, they can find moments when he's appearing in public to try to make contact with him.  He'll try to shoo them away, then be taken over by Gremtilosse, and demand that they be killed (big fight scene, drive them out with tons of monks)
If they're not being sneaky, Anter will get word through the Brothers of the net that they're in town. 
Either way, Anter will find an unattended moment to get himself drunk, shapeshift (to avoid the watchful eyes of the Brothers of the Net), and then go find the PCs so he can talk to them 
Drunk Anter will be able to help them get into the Palace, where they can make their way into the caverns below the city and try to find and kill Gremtilosse



*The Palace*

The palace is a shell used by the two holy orders as a monastery -- so it's full of clerics and monks dedicated to the Aboleth and it's quest for godhood.  The PCs can fight their way in -- with the help of drunk Anter, who is shapeshifting to disguise himself -- or take on his true form in some encounters to try to get the party past some encounters.  

During one of those early encounters, though, one of the clerics the party faces casts remove poison on Anter -- removing the effects of the alcohol from his body, and allowing Gremtilosse to regain control. The PCs might be able to subdue him and get him drunk again, to retain his help, but otherwise he'll flee the party and return to the Aboleth's side. 

If the PCs lose their guide (Anter) they will be forced to find their own way through the palace to the catacombs.

Once the alarm is raised in the palace, Gremtilosse commands that the call to prayer is rung again, and within 15 minutes power begins to grow in the palace as the Sermon generates divine power.

*The Caverns Below*

Once in the caverns, Anter (if he's still with them) must begin to drink more and more to keep the Aboleth out of his mind. In no time at all he can no longer stay on his feet, and must be left behind, too drunk to be of any help. 

In the caverns, after a few minor encounters, the heroes come upon a choice of two passages. 

One is clearly the passage that is used -- the way is clear, there's signs of recent traffic, and the hum of magical energy can be heard from the chamber ahead. 

The other is clearly abandoned, and there's no sign of traffic through that passage for the past several years. 

The abandoned passage leads to the true lair of the aboleth, who uses his agents and puppets from here.  The well-traveled passage leads to a central power gathering room, where crystals in the ceiling -- one for each of the power rods above the palace -- shoot their divine power into a collection crystal at the center of the room.  a team of clerics tend the energy, while one, clearly possessed by the Aboleth, stands at a podium above it all, observing and watching the power grow. 


Destroying the central crystal in the ritual chamber -- or all of the crystals in the ceiling -- will break up the ritual and cut Gremtilosse off from the power generated by his sermon.  When that happens, the Aboleth will escape through extra dimensional travel.
Facing the Aboleth in his true lair will allow the PCs to defeat him once and for all, but his powers are amplified by the power of the Sermon. 
If the two battles can be fought at roughly the same time -- so that the aboleth is engaged with part of the party when the ritual is stopped -- it's possible to cut him off from his power and the defeat him much more easily. 

Once the Aboleth is gone or dead, Freehaven is restored to the prime material plane, the permanent hurricane disappears, and the city is freed. 

*Ingredient Guide:
Introverted Aboleth* - Gremtilosse, who does not want direct contact with his subjects, just to be left alone to work on his sermon writing project.
*Fork in the Road* - the choice, in the caverns below the palace, which determines if the players face a nigh-unbeatable nearly divine empowered aboleth, or destroy his ritual but allow him to escape, or perhaps choose both options and manage to defeat him once and for all.
*Lonely City *- Freehaven, once a free city of seagoing trade, now hidden away by the magic of it's Aboleth lord.
*Point of No Return* - The point at the start of the adventure when the PCs are warned that if they enter the storm, they will not be able to exit. 
*Inspirational Sermon* - The sermon of Gremtilosse the Aboleth, Kingfish VII of Freehaven, designed to inspire the faith of it's audience so perfectly that it elevates it's subject (Gremtilosse) to godhood.
*Changeling* - Soldi Anter, the changeling high priest of Gremtilosse, who uses drunkeness to temporarily escape the mental clutches of the Aboleth and bring help to the city.


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## EP (Jul 9, 2013)

*CURSE OF THE UNWANTED*
Written by the Warden

*The Ingredients*
*Introverted Aboleth:* Decades ago, an aboleth was summoned by the royal wizards of the Faelien Court in an effort to rid their king of his madness. Whether it was due to arrogance or ignorance, the wizards assumed they could control the creature and harness its powers to cure King Jotar and it backfired horribly. During the fall of the Faelien Court, many brave adventurers entered the sewers to confront and eliminate the aboleth, but to no avail. The beast has, however, suffered many horrible wounds, including a severe gash to its brain, and now remains locked in isolation within the deepest levels of the Faelien sewers. 

*Fork in the Road:* Despite its name to the outside world, there are many creatures calling this place home. Under the guidance of the Keeper (see the Changeling ingredient, below), they have reached a metaphorical point in their lives where they must decide if they will continue to be this world's monsters or turn over a new leaf and build a proper life for themselves and their families. Throughout the course of this adventure, it is a similar choice undertaken by the aboleth – to remain fearful and intimidated by the world away from its natural home or to confront its fears and challenge them directly in confrontation. One might also hope this is an awakening for the PCs and their understanding of the monsters of their world... 

*Lonely City:* Before the arrival of the aboleth, the city of Faelien was a jewel of the northern coast and a beacon dividing the savage arctic wastelands from the civilized plains and valleys under King Jotar's rule. After that dark day when the people were driven from their homes by the aboleth's dominated minions and horrific visions, the city was abandoned and gained its new name, the Lonely City. 

*Point of No Return:* King Jotar's son, Yan, has begun to show signs of his father's illness and is desperately seeking a solution before the insanity claims his mind. Without any proper understanding of this condition, Yan has ordered a new expedition into the Lonely City to claim some of the aboleth's blood and perform a ceremony to rid the confused prince of his inner demons.

*Inspirational Sermon:* When the PCs arrive in the Lonely City, they discover the Keeper (see the Changeling ingredient, below) preaching to the huddled masses who now call this place their home. 

*Changeling:* Perhaps because she is a bit mad herself, the changeling known only as the Keeper has taken refuge within the Lonely City and seeks to offer shelter and dignity within these battered stone walls. Herself an outcast, the Keeper is the self-proclaimed protector of numerous creatures hindered by genocidal adventurers looking to kill solely based on their race or past deeds. She has spent many years trying to help the aboleth heal its wounds and regain its dignity... despite the possible consequences. 

*An Insane Offer*
The PCs are approached by representatives of the Jotar family, now living in exile far from their original homeland. After the devastation in the Lonely City, King Jotar's insanity and the actions of his Court made them fugitives and so they have gone into hiding. While the King has long ago succumbed to his madness and ended his own life, his son, Yan, has begun to show signs of his father's illness and is desperate to rid his mind of the torturous visions and inane ramblings that wracked his father to his dying days. After initial discussions and negotiations, the PCs are taken to meet with the exiled prince in person. 

As the prince meets with the adventurers, there are subtle nuances revealing the oncoming madness. At various times, Yan turns suddenly towards nearby windows that have been boarded up and continuously shushes people who are not present (at one point, it seems he is speaking to his deceased father). Regardless of the prince's current condition, the payment offered is real: a chest of jewels and family heirlooms salvaged from the Lonely City prior to the evacuation. If the PCs return with the aboleth's blood, the chest is theirs for the taking. 

Maps, horses, and travelling supplies are provided upon request, but Prince Yan is insistent the PCs leave at dawn's first light. 

*The Keeper*
The journey to the Lonely City is brief, yet harsh, for this landscape sits along the border with the arctic tundra and winter is fast approaching. It will take the PCs four days to reach the City by horse and there will be few encounters along the way. 

As the PCs climb to the top of a crest overlooking the Lonely City, read the following out loud. 

_Past the jagged rocks marking the tip of this dangerous ascent, you can see a white spiral tower rising to greet weary travellers and designate this as the location of the Lonely City. Blasting snow has pelted the trio of towers marking the edges of the abandoned kingdom's once great domicile, their windows blown open long ago to create a wicked howl as the sharp winter winds whistle through these tiny openings and echo across the valley before you. A triangular wall that surrounded the regal sections of the city lay in ruins as something monstrous must have brought it crashing down, spewing its debris over and through the common homes once occupied by an unsuspecting people. 

Past the howling cry of the snow-capped towers, the powerful boom of an orator's voice catches hold of the wind and finds its way to your ears. It is hard to tell what the words are saying, but there is no mistaking the clear connotations of someone charismatic giving a speech within the remains of what lies below. _

If anyone attempts to spot the source of this speech from such a distance, the most they can make out is a gathering of humanoid creatures assembled around the crumbled gates of the City. When they complete their descent and get closer, they can see these creatures are a goblinoid tribe (goblins, hobgoblins, bugbear) standing around a lone speaker perched atop a large boulder that was once the main gate. The speaker looks like a female hobgoblin dressed in thick furs raising her spear in the air as she preaches to these refugees in their own tongue. 

If anyone knows the goblin tongue and can get close enough to hear the speaker's words clearly, read the following out loud as a rough translation. 

_“You are only lost, my brothers and sisters, but are now found. The world has not turned its back on you, only those with pink skin who worship false kings and prophets. They have declared you their enemies and forced you to live within the crevasses of their lives, outcast and sentenced to a harsh death. There is no honour seeking out a life within their shadow, so we have claimed a home on the surface they dare not enter. The gods have made you struggle for a reason, brothers and sisters. To find this city and call it yours as we have called it ours. Find peace as your own people, not as the bastards of the pink skins who say their heart is as warm as the sun, for their actions are as cold as the snow on these mountains. All we ask is that you live in peace with your fellow brothers and sisters, no matter their breed or origins. Together, we will rise above the pink skins and make a home for ourselves!” _

The goblinoid's attention is so fixated on her passionate speech that they will not notice any approaching intruders until they approach the back of the formation or interrupt the speech with any other action. When this happens, the goblinoids (there are approximately fifty of them) will turn and draw their weapons, eager to draw blood. 

The speaker will seek to calm them down. If a fight should break out, she will race through the crowd and interject, suddenly assuming the form of the most common race within the party (or a human, if everyone is different) and plead with the PCs to lower their arms. She introduces herself as the Keeper, a changeling elementalist and guardian of the Lonely City. While she does not want bloodshed within these fallen walls, she cannot allow them passage inside, regardless of their reasons. 

_“You come from the southern lands of hospitality and respect. This is a place for the unwanted and the damned, therefore you in turn have no place here. Go back to your homes and tell them we seek only the isolation we deserve. If you do not, I cannot be held responsible for your fate.” As if on cue, the horde of goblinoids standing at her side raise their weapons to the ready and snarl their eager need to inflict generations of revenge against you and your comrades. _

So long as the PCs demonstrate respect and compassion, the Keeper will return the favour and can offer them shelter from the elements within one of the remaining gatehouses, but they are not granted access any further than this point. If violence ensues, she will use her elemental mastery to summon two earth elementals from the rubble of the City's gates to crush these intruders.  

If anyone enquires about the aboleth, the Keeper's answer is harsh and ominous. _“She is not to be disturbed. Your kind has done more than enough harm and I will not allow anyone to shatter her fragile world, do you understand me?”_ If they mention Prince Yan's plight, she scoffs and cares even less for their mission now more than ever. _“Your kind's ills are the result of your greed and avarice. It is penance for your actions and those of your ancestors, a lesson that invoking genocide brings consequences. And only someone inflicted with madness would believe an aboleth could cure them of their insanity.”_ Now that she is aware of their intention in her City, there is no chance or opportunity for the PCs to take refuge or even step past the crumpled gates.  

If a peaceful solution is never placed on the table by the PCs, the Keeper, the earth elementals, and her wards (the goblinoids) will return the favour and fight to the death. If the Keeper's life is spared and efforts are made to force her co-operation, she will abide and escort them into the sewers to meet with the aboleth. 

*Entering Undetected*
The PCs may wish to avoid a direct confrontation at the main gate of the Lonely City and find a more secretive way inside. That shouldn't be a problem as the only protection offered by the city is its isolation in this harsh terrain. There are random patrols of various residents calling this place home, including cambion, various giants, drow, and githzerai, though not all of them are armed and dangerous. There is plenty of evidence indicating these creatures are attempting to live peaceful lives in gatherings of their own kind, surviving off the refuse of this city that once was their enemy's. 

*Into The Sewers*
There are numerous entrances to the sewers that is now home to the aboleth, each of them sealed over with heavy iron grates designed to keep curious residents out at all costs. If the PCs were able to “convince” the Keeper to lead the way, she will take them to a particular opening used to gain access to the beast during her therapy sessions. As they pass through the city, the Keeper will explain the fragile nature of the aboleth and why their intrusion is so dangerous for both them and the creature itself. 

_“She has been torn from her home realm and placed somewhere where nothing makes sense and everyone tries to kill you on sight. When the King's wizards summoned her here, she was immediately sentenced to death for her blood and organs, hacked at by eager mindless servants like yourselves. She may have been able to fight them off, but at a great cost. She has suffered a serious wound and can no longer control her powers with great accuracy, nor can she comprehend reality from illusion. When you enter her home, do not be surprised you become mad yourselves by what you see.” _

Once the PCs enter the sewers, the aboleth senses their arrival and lashes out in a furious roar of fear and anger, causing the very walls to shake and dislodge loose stones into the fetid waters at their feet. The walls begin to drip blood and echoing voices bewilder the PCs at every turn, sometimes calling out to them by name or re-enacting horrific crimes from their past. The deeper they travel, the more these sewers begin to transform into a slimy natural cavern featuring quivering sacks of unborn larvae and the screams of the aboleth's victims when the Lonely City fell. If the PCs entered these sewers with the Keeper, she does not seem to recognize these horrors because her mind is not being inundated with them – the aboleth knows to trust her. To a point. 

As everyone reaches a large opening to a central canal under the main castle, the Keeper suddenly convulses with such intensity that her spine snaps and her lower body goes limp without collapsing. Appearing to hover in the air, the changeling is suddenly possessed by the aboleth's uncontrollable power with such ferocity that every unnatural movement causes bones to break and her jaw widens beyond ordinary means, yet the voice seeping from her mouth shrieks out the words of an anxious aboleth.

_“NO HUMANS!! NO MORTALS!! WE WANT PEACE!!!!”_

The aboleth then uses the Keeper's possessed body to hold back the PCs in an effort to block them from going any further. If the Keeper did not come with them, it will instead target the PC with the weakest Intelligence score and cause 1d10 damage whenever they attempt to fight off the mental invasion. Only by making a successful opposed Intelligence check against the aboleth can a possessed character hope to free themselves of the creature's grip. When the Keeper's hit points are reduced to 20 or less, she is suddenly sucked into a vortex, unnaturally contorting and squeezing her body through the imaginary pinhole until she is no longer standing before the PCs. 

To reach the aboleth's lair, the PCs must pass through three random challenges. At the start of each challenge, roll 1d6 to determine the danger they face. Each challenge is an illusion created by the incredible panic of a seriously ill chaotic creature and can be disbelieved using the standard rules of whichever edition you play, but the difficulty is increased by 3. Any PC who has successfully disbelieve can use their turn to aid another in their attempt. Anyone who “dies” in these illusions remains out of action for the remainder of the adventure until the aboleth has been defeated. 

*1:* A tidal wave of rancid sewer water and humanoid skulls rushes towards the PCs, threatening to wash them out of the City or drown them. Everyone must make successful Strength checks for three rounds before the tidal wave passes or else become caught up in its powerful force and forced further away from the aboleth's lair (2d6 damage per failed roll). 
*2:* The PCs are attacked by illusionary undead created by the aboleth's fearful rage. Able to pass through the sewer walls with ease, they attempt to drag a PC through with them and bury them within the walls.
*3:* The PCs are suddenly unable to breathe, as if an unseen weight was pressed against their chest. Only by successfully disbelieving the illusion can they begin to breathe again. 
*4:* The PCs enter a large submerged chamber and discover the rotting hulk of the aboleth... or so they think. This is another desperate attempt by the panicked aboleth to be left alone. Once disbelieved, the PCs realize they are standing in simply another narrow tunnel under the City. 
*5:* The tunnels suddenly tilt 90° on its side, causing the PCs to feel as if they're falling away from their objective. Until this illusion is disbelieved, they must try to climb their way further and will take falling damage equal to the length of any tunnel whenever they fail. 
*6:* A high-pitched mental shriek threatens to deafen the PCs, forcing them to make Constitution rolls to avoid a cumulative -2 penalty to all actions until the illusion is disbelieved. 

*The Aboleth Itself*
After enduring the psychic torture and torment of the aboleth's panicked efforts to stop them in their tracks, they finally arrive at the final scene. Read the following aloud to the players. 

_Walls of mossy stone are no more, instead morphing into a bulbous and throbbing organic tissue that glows a deep red with every pulse. A deep pit of swirling sewer water stretches out to 50' in all directions with sticky tentacles of dried slime creating a concealing canopy within this dim locale. Other than the deep throbbing of the inner walls, there is no other sign of life until a lone figure rises from the water. It is the mangled and bloody form of the Keeper. She does not speak, only weeps uncontrollably and pleads with you for peace and isolation._

There are two choices for the PCs at this moment: sympathy or aggression. If they want to try and sympathize with the aboleth, perhaps even offer to put her out of her misery, their offer will be met with hesitant curiosity. If anyone breaks their word at any point and time, the aboleth will respond with aggression. In either case, it will rise from the swirling waters to reveals its true form. 

_The sickly form of this hulking creature floats to the surface of the pool and what you notice at first is the large gash on the side of its head, exposing the sinewy strands of its massive brain. Puss and a black viscous liquid continuously seep from the wound and into the water. It is now you can see the Keeper – secured to the aboleth's head as if she was grown from its very body – caresses and kisses the sore wound affectionately before looking back up at you with pleading eyes. _

If the PCs simply decide to charge in and kill the creature outright, she will respond in kind and become panicked, gaining +2 to all attack rolls and defences until either her attackers are killed (in reality) or she is removed from this life. If the aboleth is struck by a critical hit, roll 1d6 and apply one of the random effects from the previous section. 

When the fight is over, the symbiotic form of the Keeper detaches from the aboleth's body and shrivels into a sack of dried flesh. Any surviving PCs can take a sample of the aboleth's blood and return to Prince Yan with his hopeful cure. Whether or not it works is up to you...

*END*


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## MortalPlague (Jul 9, 2013)

Rune said:


> ...I'm sure we'd all be very interested to hear about your creative processes for these entries.



The elements were handed out towards the end of one of my gaming sessions with my regular group.  I loaded up the page on my phone after the session, and found six excellent ingredients staring back at me.  They were marvellous, delicious ingredients that could all play very nicely together.  With one of my gaming buddies, I went home and we threw ideas around.

He suggested the idea that the Wealth of Information was a set of books.  I jumped on the idea, immediately deciding that Hearsay and Heresy would be two of those books.  We spun the story of the god of knowledge who created the books in his monastery, and went through the 'fall of civilization' back story.  I knew from the start that I wanted the books to be magical, nearly artifacts, though with a very limited scope.  In my rough hashing-out of ideas, the bridge was going to be an encounter in the Hallowed Library... I was thinking a Last Crusade-style bridge of faith.  But I wasn't happy with that.  The poison pill was going to be a literal pill with a god-slaying poison, which the villain would carry to feed to the god.

Hearsay developed over a few passes.  Initially, the book would have read the minds of people around it, snagging random surface thoughts.  But then I came upon the idea that it could provide background elements by stealing snippets of conversation from the past.  The idea that they could also hear the orders of the man they were chasing really appealed to me, as did the fact that Hearsay has no filter.  It doesn't know what's important or not, so it just samples random snippets.  The potential for a DM to throw random amusing lines from completely hapless NPCs was too much fun to pass up.

Towards the end of that night, I realized that the bridge was really just a plug-in element, and I wanted to give it some more thought.  I was still bouncing ideas off my buddy, and I was talking about some elements are really flexible and others are more nebulous.  The decrepit bridge, I told him, could only be one thing.  And then the idea hit me.  It could be a starship bridge.

I ran a mental check through all the elements.  I briefly considered switching the whole adventure to sci-fi.  I noted the irony that I've never actually run or played Expedition To The Barrier Peaks.  Then I decided to run with it.  I figured that this sort of competition is the one to take risks in, and a fallen AI posing as a god was a nice final reveal for the adventure.  It actually served as a third form of heresy, and it made Salander a crusader, not a villain.  It offered the adventure a choice at the end, whether the PCs sided against Asceon or against Salander.  It did, however, weaken the poison pill element (turning it to a jar of lightning).

The next day, I typed it all up, smoothing out bumps as I went along.  I tried to throw player choice into a few places, since the adventure was a little linear (the choice whether to fight or sneak through the city, for instance).  I found a few plot holes that I had to patch up.  I went back and forth on the amount of back story to include.  And then I submitted that huge block of text.


*Last Notes:*


The footnote about Further Adventures was put in so it didn't look like I had forgotten about Harmony and History.  Also, the entry didn't feel complete without at least a brief look at the other books and their powers.
I must have changed the villain's name six times before I settled on Salander.
I named Asceon in a split second as I was typing, and it was the Right Name (tm).  I felt very good about that name.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 12, 2013)

*bump* for children, because the children are our future.


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## Rune (Jul 12, 2013)

*Round 1, Match 3 Judgement: Radiating Gnome vs. EP*

I'm going to start off by expressing some disappointment in how a few of the ingredients were used in both of these entries.  Not all of them; there were some very well-used ingredients in both, but, in some cases, _uninspired_.  Maybe ingredients like “Point of No Return” and “Fork in the Road” were harder than they looked to me.

The *Introverted Aboleth* of “Curse of the Unwanted” (henceforth, “Curse”) is a great character.  I mean, how often do you get to feel pathos for an aboleth?  But as an ingredient, I never really got a sense of its abolethness—which would be fine if I felt that it had done away with schemes and slaves because of its introversion.  But I didn't get that sense, either.  Instead, it just felt like the aboleth was hiding because it was wounded and scared.  While that makes for an interesting character, it didn't quite live up to the ingredient.

In contrast, “The Sermon of Kingfish VII” (henceforth, “Sermon”) has it locked down.  Kingfish dominates all of his subjects (slaves) to such a degree that he even moves them around at whim for his sermons.  This answers the question of why an introverted aboleth would surround himself with slaves (even at a distance) nicely: the slaves are not sentient to the aboleth—they are merely furniture.  Add to that, the extremely isolated nature of Kingfish—so much so that he walled off his entire island with a hurricane—and we get a real sense of how an introverted aboleth might still be terrifying.

“Sermon” uses *Fork in the Road* as significant choice that the characters must make leading to their confrontation with Kingfish.  The decision that the characters make have consequences.  This is good.  But, these decisions aren't even mutually-exclusive!  It's possible for the PCs to do both?  That might be better for the adventure, but the ingredient suffers for it; it is fundamental that when you come to a fork in the road (assuming it's not cutlery), _you must choose one path_.

At least “Curse” uses the ingredient more meaningfully.  Again, it is a choice, but, here, it is a theme, as well.  The denizens of the Lonely City must choose between their natures or to build a civilization.  The PCs must choose between the typical problem-solving style and a peaceful acceptance of this new monster-nation.  And they must choose again between fulfilling their (probably pointless, but lucrative) quest and mercy.  I know I insinuated that this ingredient was used poorly all around earlier, but that's not the case, here.  This one is well done.

And yet, while “Curse” has a *Lonely City*, it doesn't feel very lonely with its new inhabitants running around in it.  “Sermon,” on the other hand, does.  The city in this piece is isolated, lonely, desperate, oppressive...and to make matters more fun, the PCs are very likely to blend in—which might make them feel a bit isolated, as well!  A lot of the character in “Sermon” comes out in the city, itself, and that always helps in bringing an adventure to life.

But the *Point of No Return* in “Sermon” is nearly meaningless to the PCs.  If that point is the beginning of the adventure, the question raised is not “are we ready for this”, but simply “do we bother with this?”  Functionally, it works, but it would have been better to see the ingredient pop up a little later in the adventure—once things were already in motion.  Unfortunately, “Curse” doesn't even give us that.  The ingredient here is only used as part of the hook—and not even one that the PCs have influence over.  I think.  I'm a little fuzzy on just how the ingredient manifests in the first place. Which isn't good.

And, here I run into a problem.  I _liked_ the *Inspirational Sermon* used in “Sermon.”  It served as part of the framework upon which the adventure was built.  _I_ found it inspirational.  But it clearly _was not_ inspirational to the participants—they were only there to get fed!  Nor was it even supposed to be—Kingfish cared so little about inspiring the masses that he took control of their very seating arrangements!  “Curse” implements the ingredient more faithfully, but I find it somehow less intriguing.  Which is odd, because I actually love the direction that it takes the adventure.  I dunno.  Maybe it's all the pre-scripted speech.  Makes it feel more linear than it actually is.  Just not my style, I guess.  Can't penalize the piece for that.

So, how about the *Changeling*?  “Sermon” has a great character in the form of Anter—who changes his very state of mind to keep it safe (although I do wonder where all of the alcohol is coming from), and who changes from friend to foe as the story progresses.  He really helps bring the monstrous nature of the aboleth home.  But I think I like the Keeper in “Curse” even more.  Here is a shapeshifter who wants to change _everything_!  The goblinoid's nature, the status quo, the very perceptions of the PCs!  Now _that_ is making the most of an ingredient!

_The adventures:_

“Sermon” is wonderfully atmospheric (in a creepy and oppressive way) and a tight adventure with a lot of adventure potential going on.  “Curse” explores themes that I enjoy in my games.  I see a _lot_ of potential for this adventure—and for future adventures!  But, as much as I enjoy it, I have to admit, it just isn't as tight as the other adventure—and there isn't nearly as much for the PCs to do.



Spoiler



I thought I knew the winner of this match before I started writing this judgment.  But, as sometimes happens, the articulation of certain points caused me to reassess.  In the end, I find that my reassessment matches up with my original assessment, but it is quite a bit closer than I thought.  Alas, a couple of very inspired ingredients and a very inspired scenario are not enough to outweigh a well-crafted adventure with more tightly-woven ingredients.

EP, you've got the goods, and I look forward to seeing you compete in future tournaments, because this was a very fine piece.  If I could give you one bit of advice for future tournaments, it would be this: work a little bit on tightening the adventure up—and giving the adventurers more to do.  I think there's room for improvement with the ingredients, as well, but I also think that, with a little refining of the adventure, that would fall into place.

Radiating Gnome advances to Round 2.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 12, 2013)

Ouch. You know it's Iron DM when even winning a round stings a little.    Thanks, Rune, and EP, excellent entry. 

Since Rune has been asking for a look at how we wrote our entries, I wrote this one up tuesday after I posed mine -- before I saw Rune's review. 

[sblock]

The Introverted Aboleth seemed like the obvious big bad… I immediately paired him with the changeling as his servant, although the initial ideas I had there didn't look much like the final version. 

The sermon, as a writing exercise, resonated for me with the introversion of the aboleth, so those two went together. I imagined that obsessive writer who wants nothing to do with the world, only wants to work on his project. You know, what we wish George RR Martin were more like, so he'd write his books faster. 

Lonely city gave me the audience for the sermon, and ideas for the situation started to come together. 

The ingredients I had the hardest time with were the Fork in the Road and the Point of No Return.  In part, they frustrated me because they were conceptually so close to each other -- a fork in the road may well be the point of no return, at the same time. Since I didn't think I wanted to have one element that tried to cover two ingredients, I decided to separate them as much as possible in the adventure.  So, one comes at the beginning, the other at the end.  

I'm not super happy with either of them, to be honest. The point of no return is a throwaway -- the adventure would be just fine without it.  

The fork in the road, though, is a bit better.  It's not in a literal road, but it does present the party with a choice -- the path to the ritual, or the path less traveled.  My idea is that the players might take the hint from the backstory they've been given, and see that the untraveled path is probably the path to the introvert. In retrospect, I gave the party little way to suspect that they could split up and take both paths, and actually have some sort of advantage, but since this is NOT the point of no return, there's no reason they couldn't do a little scouting and figure that out for themselves. 

Early on, I had the idea of using "fork" as a trident -- and somehow putting a trident in the road in one scene as a way of smirking and covering that ingredient.  There just wasn't a good way to make that work in a good, organic manner, so I gave up on it -- but I retained the trident (as the symbol of the order of clerics serving Gremtilosse) for the fun of it. Part of me hopes that readers see that and groan to themselves _Oh noes, he's going to stick a trident in the road and call it a fork in the road, how lame_ - and then be pleasantly surprised that I didn't go there. 

Writing it up, I was very mindful of the way I judge: I'm not a big fan of heavy backstory in these entries, especially if it's backstory that the players don't encounter. There are important pieces of information in the backstory for the players, so I made sure that I made my background for the adventure as limited as possible, and I also basically hand that information to the PCs in the handouts (in the hook), so they have access to most, if not all, of the information in the backstory. 

It's also a drag to write about Aboleths, who technically have both male and female parts and are "it" rather than "he" or "she". 

Word count isn't an issue for this round, but I like the practice. IMO good editing and judicious use of bullet points improves readability and can seriously cut down word count without having to give up meaning or story elements.

In the end…. I'm not totally happy with it, as an entry. My use of the ingredients was not as good as I would like.  I expect to take a beating for Point of No Return, for sure, and perhaps for Fork and for Lonely City.  Some readers may not see the sermon as "inspirational" -- even though it's intent is to literally imbue the Aboleth with spiritual energy (the inspiration is actually for the aboleth, not the audience). I think it works, but it's dangling out there for interpretation, so we'll see how that goes. My changeling isn't as strong as it could be, either -- his changeling-ness could be pulled out of the story (it's actually more important that he's drunk than it is that he's a changeling). 

I like the story as a whole, I think it would be a fun adventure to run.  I like the idea of the city besieged by it's own ruler, the forced faith as a power source, the order of monks running the city. There are opportunities for all kinds of interaction (environmental encounters, social encounters, fun roleplaying for the DM with the drunk changeling, and plenty of combat encounters) and the potential for a complex final battle on two fronts. But, though inspired by the ingredients, it's possibly not the best use of many of them.  

Gotta love Iron DM.
[/sblock]

-rg


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## Rune (Jul 12, 2013)

I see that your assessment more or less matched mine in many instances.  I guess that means you knew better on some of those ingredients!


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 12, 2013)

Rune said:


> I see that your assessment more or less matched mine in many instances.  I guess that means you knew better on some of those ingredients!




I knew I was going to get a lashing, yeah.  But, you know, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.  

-rg


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## Rune (Jul 12, 2013)

[MENTION=6726030]Mike Myler[/MENTION] and   [MENTION=54988]Dragonwriter[/MENTION], you have *24 hours* to post your entries to this thread.  Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted.  Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own.  You are on your honor to do so.

*Your ingredients are:

Point of Origin

Transcendence

Aberration

Death Spiral

Sentient Prey

Tasteless Joke*


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## Dragonwriter (Jul 12, 2013)

Got them. Ideas are swimming in their own sort of primordial soup. Should be fun.


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## Mike Myler (Jul 12, 2013)

And awayyyyyyyy!


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## Mike Myler (Jul 12, 2013)

I wanna make sure I'm doing this correctly - do I need to put in statistics and the like, making a fully playable adventure short of nothing but maps, or am I doing everything _except _​for the statistics?


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## Rune (Jul 12, 2013)

Mike, you can put in statistics if you want, but it'll most likely be wasted space and time.  As far as the judgement goes, I'd much rather you spent that space and time polishing the rough edges off of the entry.  Basically, put in what you need to in order to present your adventure clearly.  Leave out everything else.


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## EP (Jul 12, 2013)

D'oh!

It was a blast to write and it came down to the wire (or that's how I'm going to read it) and a worthy challenge from the Gnome. 

I'll post my thoughts and stuff later on when I have a bit more time on hand.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 12, 2013)

EP said:


> it came down to the wire (or that's how I'm going to read it)




That's how I read it, too.  

-john


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## Mike Myler (Jul 12, 2013)

*Point of Origin *- The Asmov Ore is located (and thus, the collective hive-mind race) in the mine behind the tower.*

Transcendence *- Asmov Golem (CE being of destruction and wrath) --> Asimov Spirit (LG being of pure light)*

Aberration *- If the golem doesn't do it for you, the only other creatures in this module are all of the Aberration type.*

Death Spiral *- The mining tunnel is a literal interpretation of this, as the spirit is 'bleeding out' as it goes farther down.*

Sentient Prey *- The golem is getting hunted by the players AND the players are getting hunted by the Aberrations!*

Tasteless Joke *- Too obvious for me to comment on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
*
Quadrial's Tower*
A Pathfinder adventure designed for four to five characters levels 3-4 by Mike Myler.

...has been temporarily removed. Currently it's being put through the editing and layout process with Rite Publishing to be released in Pathways!

Don't worry, Pathways is free, but because legal watch-a-ma-hooz-its it can't remain posted up here. As soon as it hits the presses I'll make sure to come back and provide a link to the issue containing this adventure!

PS: ENWorld's Iron DM 2014 will probably get a few more contestants next year so start polishing those adventure writing skills now!

EDIT: And now it's out! I've got an (excellent, I'm told) interview in _Pathways #32_, but _Quadrial's Tower_ appears in _Pathways #33_ (and got props from Endzeitgeist, which is always nice). 
Check it out; _Pathways #33_ and all the other issues are pay what you want (which _can _be $0) and free, depending on where you look.


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## Dragonwriter (Jul 13, 2013)

*IRON DM 2013 Round 1, Match 4; Dragonwriter's Entry*

*The Mortal Coil*
By Dragonwriter
A short side adventure intended for a high-level fantasy game. Written with D&D 3.5 primarily in mind.

*Ingredients: *
*Point of Origin

Transcendence

Aberration

Death Spiral

Sentient Prey

Tasteless Joke*

*Background: *
Some time ago, an experiment was attempted deep within the vaults of the mind flayers. This experiment had immense power poured into it in the hopes of a favorable result – the establishment of a mind flayer tadpole within the brain and body of an immature aboleth. This audacious undertaking was successful, but the resulting creature was an aberration among its own kind, abominable to its creators who immediately tried to kill it. Unfortunately for them, this new being was incredibly powerful and it managed to escape their clutches, determined to prove its superiority over all races. It took the name Zuxrashothikt and began to hone its innate, immense magical and psionic power.

It eventually devised a way to decidedly prove its superiority: by transcending mortality and becoming like unto a god. Zuxrashothikt acquired a Sphere of Annihilation as well as a Talisman and created a powerful focusing beacon for the energy needed to fuel its transformation. Zuxrashothikt determined that a spiral was the mathematically perfect method for this focus. It also concluded that it needed the minds, bodies, and even the souls of sentient creatures to power its mighty magic, abducting them through various forms of magical means, often made by Dominating mages into creating such things for it.

*Zuxrashothikt’s Plan: *
Zuxrashothikt has managed to alter the Sphere of Annihilation to produce a kind of necromantic energy and is using it to collect the souls of sentient mortals killed within the dungeon lair. The dungeon itself is laid out in a spiral infused with the death-energy of the manipulated Sphere, branching out while also allowing the energy pulled in along its course to focus at its point of origin, the Sphere. The souls of slain sentients fuel the coming ritual for Zuxrashothikt to transcend its form and become a god. Meanwhile, the flesh and brains of the slain provide earthly nourishment to it. 

Zuxrashothikt has spread various methods of capturing mortals around the world, primarily in the forms of writing. A number of these take the form of joke books, due to Zuxrashothikt having a little knowledge of mortal humor from observations and a few captives it Dominated into service before making them a part of its ritual. As humor is a decidedly sentient concern, this helps to ensure only such creatures are brought to fuel its ritual.

*Adventure Synopsis: *
The PCs will be abducted by one of Zuxrashothikt‘s methods, specifically an enchanted book, and deposited within his dungeon home. They will make their way through the spiral dungeon to a final confrontation with the aberrant creature. If they are successful, they will be faced with a choice regarding the immediate future of the ritual.

*The Hook: *
At some point, the PCs will receive through any number of means (such as finding it on a table in a tavern, in a pile of treasure, or even lying on the street) a book bearing the title Fantastic Jokes to Amaze and Amuse with the addendum on the cover of, “Share Me with Friends and Family!” Examining it with Detect Magic reveals no aura (it is under the effect of a Magic Aura spell or equivalent), while a stronger examination should prompt a secret Will save against a high DC. When someone opens it to read, they find jokes that fall far more into the crass arena. Such jokes are along the lines of the following: 

How many elves does it take to replace a candle? Just one. Elves burn great.
What do you do if you see an elf drowning? Throw him his wife and kids
How are dwarves and babies alike? They both small like dung.
(The DM is encouraged to come up with other, equally-bad jokes, especially directed at PC races.)
Reading this book actually activates the magic held within, which forcibly teleports (no save) the reader and any nearby sentient creatures (effectively, the rest of the party, plus any civilians/NPCs you wish to drag along as DM) to the outermost edge of Zuxrashothikt‘s dungeon.
[sblock=Regarding Allusions to Events] The DM is encouraged to, if possible, make mention over time of things in line with Zuxrashothikt‘s plan, especially people disappearing. As completion of the project nears, more powerful sources are required, so over time the mentions of people disappearing should go from peasants to low-power individuals or groups to mid- and high-power mortals.[/sblock]

*Coiled Death: *
The joke book’s teleport deposits the party in an arched, curving hallway of great size with a wall near their backs. Only one path is before them. Everyone can clearly see a crackling black-purple beam of energy above them stretching away around the curve of the path ahead and into the wall behind them. When the energy enters the wall, it spreads out in a broken, spider-like or cracked-glass manner. This same effect is noticeable permeating the walls throughout the dungeon. Knowledge checks focused on Arcana can identify the energy as similar to that of a Sphere of Annihilation, but the energy has been manipulated and twisted into something different.

Detect Magic spells can also obtain information regarding extremely powerful Abjuration- and Necromancy-based magic prevalent throughout the area. The Abjuration seems similar to the field produced by a Dimensional Lock and will prevent any form of teleportation or other extraplanar travel, but the source seems to be the energy beam coursing near the ceiling. The Necromancy can be identified as something extremely close to the Soul Bind spell and likely affects everything in the complex. If PCs attempt to further examine the effect, allow INT or WIS checks to obtain hints regarding the effects leading to the conclusion that the Bind is connected to the energy beam, funneling the captured souls into the beam which then derives further energy from them.

[sblock=A note on the environment]
It is strongly encouraged to highlight the weirdness inherent within the spiral. Such things as the stones quivering as if alive, pools and tendrils of stinking, brackish slime, and unnatural growths are excellent examples and embellishment is a great idea. 
Two especial highlights to include are: mention of clusters of eyeballs on stalks growing out of the walls. These are the way Zuxrashothikt monitors its prey, using its innate telepathy to contact the clusters. The other is how the energy of the Sphere has managed to permeate everything native to the dungeon and its construction – the reason these things survive when the wall of death-energy moves through the spiral to force the prey along its path. Also, prolonged contact with the walls will begin to annihilate the contacting person’s life force. Damaging the walls will cause the death-energy to spill out and directly harm the PCs.[/sblock]

If the PCs are lingering too long at the start, the energy pouring into the wall behind them solidifies into a barrier and slowly pulls away from the wall and toward the PCs, forcing them down the path. The curve in the walls draws them in its spiral, closing down as they follow the path. The energy beam siphoned off of the Sphere remains perpetually above their heads. The party should encounter a few Moderate to Difficult encounters during this time, preferably with creatures that are soulless, non-mortal, or non-sentient. Stone or Greater Stone Golems, Advanced Elder Black Puddings, and Nightwalkers are all appropriate possibilities (with supplemental books, the options naturally increase, such as an Advanced Gloom Golem or Advanced Greater Shadesteel Golem).

During this, the party should also find scattered pages of research notes and journals kept by Zuxrashothikt. These detail various things about its history, its process in divining the way to its goal, the methods it has undertaken, and the end result it hopes to achieve and where. These are written in a jumble of languages (primarily the Aboleth language and the mind flayer writing form Qualith, but also with plenty of Draconic and Undercommon), the only way Zuxrashothikt finds itself able to truly express its thoughts, so far beyond normal ability and also extremely fractured. Here are some examples of possible writing fragments to be uncovered in any order:

They cast me out, fools, mongrels. I am the logical evolution of both races, even if my genesis was forced. They call me abomination; I call them underdeveloped. My superiority will demonstrate itself in time.
The energy has coalesced and is nearly enough. The spiral’s perfection has focused all it can to the center. Now it needs more powerful source material. Stronger mortal souls are needed… and more fulfilling nourishment.
I will use this Sphere to fuel my transcendence of this realm. But I will need to alter its being, as my own has been altered…
The spiral is the method to focus the energy of the trapped souls. With the Sphere, it can expand itself over time as the captured energy increases. It is also an efficient use of space. 
My greater being will be demonstrated soundly by this: I will become a new being, transcend this malformed body and any hint of the mortal realm, and become a god. But I must determine how to power this transformation…
	(These are merely suggestions. The DM should feel free to alter them and create new ones.)

The PCs should eventually reach the center of the spiral and the monstrous master awaiting them.

*The Showdown: *
Zuxrashothikt awaits the PCs in the spiral’s center and the point of origin for all the deadly energy throughout the dungeon. It is completing the final steps to its Transcendence ritual. Though it expected the last souls collected already, it is nothing if not confident in its superiority.
	[sblock=Describing Zuxrashothikt]
Zuxrashothikt has a body structure that is a strange melding between that of a normal humanoid-based Mind Flayer and its unusual host body. This has caused several changes in physiology. Its cranium is greatly enlarged and veins and the brain itself can clearly be seen throbbing beneath the soft skin. It has three baleful eyes vertically stacked on its forehead. Zuxrashothikt has a large humpback from which protrudes a sizable dorsal fin. Four long, extremely flexible arms practically drag the ground and whip about more like tendrils than rigid bone-based extremities. A malformed split tail hangs down behind Zuxrashothikt’s legs. Finally, brackish mucus covers its entire body.[/sblock]

The great central chamber takes the form of a large dome. Carved into its walls is a conglomeration of symbols of the arcane in a variety of languages similar to the scattered papers found before. Knowledge (Arcana) checks ID them as designed to focus energy in a location, control the Sphere of Annihilation floating in the middle of the chamber, and surpass corporeal form.

Zuxrashothikt is reading from a great tome, focusing the Sphere for the final phase. The Sphere floats suspended perfectly in the center of the room (as mentioned above) and has a wealth of tendrils reaching out. These entwine in the spiral of a multi-helix before merging completely into the conduit seen throughout the rest of the spiral.

Zuxrashothikt now attempts to destroy the PCs so their souls will finish powering its ritual. It should be completely aware of them so no Surprise Round is in effect. It has twisted the Sphere and mastered it well enough to force the Sphere to lash out every 5 rounds (this count should begin powering up on Round 1 of combat). This attack takes the form of a spiral, striking characters standing in certain squares throughout the room. Zuxrashothikt always knows the perfect place to stand to avoid the tendril, and any characters who make a DC 28 INT or WIS check can find out the same information. Taking such places causes the tendril to pass them by harmlessly. PCs who do not take safe positions must make Reflex saves (DC 28) to avoid the tendril as it passes through their square.

Zuxrashothikt should provide a Very Difficult challenge for the party. It has immense Arcane and Psionic powers, as well as many of the natural abilities of both Aboleth and Mind Flayer. These include such powers as Enslave, Slime, and the innate Psionics of the Aboleth as well as the Mind Blast, Improved Grab, Extract, and innate Psionics of the Mind Flayer. Zuxrashothikt should also have many levels in Wizard, Sorcerer, or Psion to further accentuate its casting nature. It should focus primarily on mental control and personal defense (many of these latter should already be in effect when the PCs arrive) while also attacking with potent effects. Its INT and CHA should be extremely high, making the DCs fairly difficult for the PCs to reach (rolls of 14+ at least, for its stronger attacks). Zuxrashothikt will fight to the death.

*Aftermath: *
Should Zuxrashothikt kill the PCs, their souls provide the final dose of power necessary to fuel its transcendence. It will become a new minor-deity(-equivalent) and embark on a crusade to destroy, absorb, or convert every inferior being in the world. Which boils down to every living sentient.
Should the PCs kill Zuxrashothikt, its own soul will complete the energy reservoir. A PC can take the tome it was reading and either end the ritual (which shuts down the Sphere’s power) or complete the invocation, allowing the PC to transcend mortality and achieve a state akin to godhood (which completely drains the energy of the Sphere).
[sblock=Regarding the Choice] The DM is strongly encouraged to make the possibility of godhood enticing, but also convey to the PCs the danger of corruption due to the immensely Evil means through which this energy and rite were created. Whether or how this corruption does occur is entirely up to the DM, but slowly turning a PC-become-new-deity into a villain is an intriguing possibility.[/sblock]

Either choice causes the Sphere of Annihilation to stop powering the complex. This makes the entire spiral immediately unstable, and it begins to collapse in on itself. Luckily for the party, the power maintaining the teleportation blocks also ends with the Sphere’s energy, allowing such methods of escape to be possible. There is also a tunnel leading up to a suitably-dangerous part of the Underdark (or campaign equivalent), hidden through cunning means from passerby, which is one way Zuxrashothikt went into the rest of the world when absolutely necessary. The party can make its way home from here through any means the DM deems possible.

*Summary of Adventure Ingredients and their Connections: *
A book of *Tasteless Jokes* transports the party to the *Death Spiral* dungeon lair of the *Aberration* Zuxrashothikt, where it hunts and kills *Sentient Prey* to fuel its ritual of *Transcendence* to take place at the spiral’s *Point of Origin*.

[sblock=Detailed Breakdown]
*Point of Origin: * The center of the *Death Spiral*, where the captured soul energy of the *Sentient Prey* is focused for the *Aberration*, Zuxrashothikt, to complete its ritual of *Transcendence*. Site of the final battle.

*Transcendence: * The goal of the *Aberration*’s ritual, powered by the souls of *Sentient Prey*. Focused and attained at the *Point of Origin* of the *Death Spiral*.

*Aberration: * Zuxrashothikt, the villain of the adventure is an Aberration in Type and in nature, being aberrant to its own progenitor species. Created the *Death Spiral* for focusing the captured soul energy of *Sentient Prey*, where it will attain *Transcendence* at the Spiral’s *Point of Origin*.

*Death Spiral: * The dungeon lair of the *Aberraion* Zuxrashothikt, which focuses the soul energy of *Sentient Prey* to fuel the *Transcendence* ritual that will occur at the spiral’s *Point of Origin*.

*Sentient Prey: * The PCs and various other mortals the *Aberration* Zuxrashothikt has slain in the *Death Spiral* to fuel its ritual of *Transcendence* in the spiral’s *Point of Origin*.

*Tasteless Joke: * The contents of many of the books which the *Aberration* Zuxrashothikt has scattered around the world. It is designed to ensnare *Sentient Prey* and send them to the *Death Spiral*, where they are killed and their soul energy captured and focused in the spiral’s *Point of Origin* to fuel the ritual for Zuxrashothikt’s *Transcendence*.[/sblock]


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## Rune (Jul 14, 2013)

*Round 1, Match 4 Judgement: Mike Myler vs. Dragonwriter*

Once again, we have one entry that is a lot more polished than the other.  I suppose I could be grateful that with the trouble we've had scheduling this last match I've got two entries to judge, at all.  But this is IRON DM.  It's got a time-limit for a reason—it's supposed to challenge contestants' skill _and_ discipline.

So what am I looking at, here?  “Quadrial's Tower” takes us on a journey as a sentient golem turns into an enlightened spirit.  “The Mortal Coil” throws PCs into a death-trap, where they ultimately confront an aberrant mindflayer intent on becoming divine.  One of these adventures is much tighter than the other, but they both have some fundamental problems.

Both adventures are strikingly linear (even if they spiral).  This isn't necessarily bad design, but it does mean that the DM's options are no less limited than the players.  In the case of “The Mortal Coil,” (let's just call it “Coil”) that doesn't leave much, because the adventure is little more than a single scenario in the first place.  Sure, it's a super-creepy and fun scenario, but it's still just a single scenario.  “Quadrial's Tower” (I think I'll call it “Quad” from now on) has slightly more going on, combining a chase with another chase, so the PCs get to simultaneously be hunters and prey.

The hooks in both adventurers are pretty weak.  In “Quad,” we're given a standard, wizard-is-missing-go-find-him hook.  “Coil” uses a more interesting, but heavy-handed and, frankly, only slightly more interesting get-trapped-by-a-book hook.

And then “Quad” presents another problem—once the PCs figure out what happened to the wizard—fairly early on—they have no real motivation, save curiosity, to finish the adventure.  This could be enough _if_ they were being presented with clues that their actions were leading to the enlightenment of the golem—but they aren't!  All they have a chance of knowing is that every time they destroy the thing it comes back bigger.  And just as murderous.

On the other hand, the PCs are presented with an interesting option at the end of “Coil.”  _After_ they have killed the Mind-Flayer-Thing, that is.  Getting there is an atmospheric trip, but it there isn't much choice in the matter.  Once they kill the aberration, however, they are presented with an interesting opportunity—and not without cost.  Light at the end of a long, spiraling tunnel.

I've been pretty harsh, so far, but there are some things that I definitely liked in both entries.  I'll focus on those a bit before we get into the largely disappointing uses of the ingredients.  First, “Quad” has some _very_ good flavor text.  Now, understand something:  I say that as someone who generally has no use for flavor text.  I almost always present the players with their surroundings in a more free-form and, sometimes, subtle way.  But this stuff is very evocative.  It makes me wish the rest of the adventure was written in the same style and tone.  You know, instead of having all of those stat-blocks dominating the second half.  Still, the stat-blocks may well be useful for someone running the game.  So, there's that.

“Coil” has a great feel to it.  It's weird and creepy and, somehow, also haunting.  I _like_ what I see there, I just wish there was more to see.  I _also_ like how well-formatted and how _tight_ the scenario is.  The background tells only what it needs to.  Sblocks are used as side-bars to condense the entry.  It was easy to read.  It doesn't feel like there's any wasted space.

_And then there was some stuff about ingredients:_

I have to say, I felt that there were a lot of missed opportunities in these ingredients.  Some of these ingredients were ripe for creative interpretation, but...

The *Point of Origin* in “Quad” is nothing but a mine in which the Asmov Ore is found.  It's relevance to the PCs is completely nonexistent.  In “Coil,” it is the center of the death spiral?  That's it?

*Transcendence* is one of those thematic ingredients I like so much.  I like them because they have a lot of potential for weaving into and throughout an entry.  They're the kind of thing you can hang an adventure on.  I almost got that with “Quad.”  Almost.  It felt like that was what was _supposed_ to be there, but it was, unfortunately, mishandled.  In order for the PCs to get a sense of the golem's transcendence, they need to actually _see_ it happening—and not just the physical enlargement.  If an alignment shift from Chaotic Evil to Lawful Good is in the works, let the PCs in on it!  And if it's coming about because of the PCs' actions, they need to see that, too!  Otherwise, it's just wasted potential!

And what about “Coil?”  As motivation for the aberration, it works, but it's a little dull.  Once again, it isn't something the PCs have any real interaction with, except to stop it.  But it really could have been any ritual that needed to be stopped.  Transcendence need not have factored into it.  Once the aberration is dealt with, however, it gets interesting.  The PCs have the opportunity to complete the ritual themselves and become just as wickedly divine as the aberration would have.  _That's_ interesting!

The *Aberration* in “Coil” is both an aberration in D&D terms, but also an aberrant.  I was hoping to see something like that.  Unfortunately, the fact that the aberration is an aberration doesn't factor into the adventure at all—it is merely motivation for the NPC.  But, at least, it's clever (and flavorful).  Sticking creatures with the *aberration* sub-type in a dungeon and having them hunt the PCs (as “Quad” does) isn't that creative a use of the ingredient.  Now, if the golem were an aberration (as implied in the entry), that might have worked, but I saw no way to actually take the golem as such.  The metal, for instance, was specifically described as being/causing _any_ golems made from it to be Chaotic Evil.  That could so easily have not been the case and the ingredient would have worked.

And that leads to some disappointment with the *Death Spiral*, as well.  First of all, for those of you who don't know, this is another ingredient with multiple definitions.  Not only is it a figure-skating technique, but it is used in to describe a situation in which insurance costs rapidly increase because low-risk policy holders change policies or drop them altogether.  It has, of course, a similar meaning in gaming: a character acquires penalties through failure (often in the form of wounds), that make success (and, frequently, survival) increasingly less likely.  Both entries chose to go with a more literal interpretation.  I'm fine with that.

What doesn't work for me, however, is what “Quad” does: having a golem die of natural causes in a spiral dungeon and calling it a death spiral.  “Coil,” on the other hand, actually has a very interesting take on the spiral dungeon with death in it.  It actually sucks the life out of those trapped in it.  Good thing, too.  Because that's pretty much the entire adventure!

“Coil” uses *Sentient Prey* as fuel for the transcendence.  On the whole, it's not bad.  “Quad” has the PCs hunt a sentient while being hunted, themselves.  That has good adventure potential, right there.

But where's the *Tasteless Joke*?  I've read “Quad” thrice, now.  Still—nothing.  The best I can figure is that the name of the killer-golem is supposed to be the joke.  But it's only tasteless in that it seems to reject themes that Asimov pretty consistently explored.  “Coil” actually includes some (pretty tame) tasteless jokes.  I can't say I was terribly impressed with the implementation of them as a (heavy-handed) hook to start things off, but, hey...it's something.



Spoiler



Mike Myler, you have some strengths that you can build upon for future tournaments.  First of all, your vision was a good one.  Having the PCs chase a foe while being chased makes for a potentially fun scenario and following the golem as it grows up has great potential, as well.  Not to mention a good way with words!  If only some more time had been spent in exploring and polishing these elements—and if only the relationships between the ingredients and their relevance in the adventure had gotten a bit more attention...I feel like a second attempt would capitalize on some of the good things you've got buried beneath the surface.  That said, I'm afraid that second attempt can't happen in this tournament.  Dragonwriter's entry utilizes the ingredients better, and is a tighter, more usable entry.  Even if it is a little too small.

Dragonwriter, I loved the feel of your entry, but, please, give us some more, next time.  And, if I may offer a little advice, pay a little more attention to the ingredients.  They are what they are for a reason.  Think about _several_ possible interpretations and the implications that they would have for the adventure as a whole.  Figure out how these implications might impact a bunch of PCs who blunder into them.  You showed some skill in doing this already, but I think you're capable of more.  Obviously, this advice applies to all of the other remaining contestants, as well.  Dragonwriter advances to Round 2.


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## Mike Myler (Jul 14, 2013)

Spoiler



Congratulations Dragonwriter!





Rune said:


> The *Point of Origin* in “Quad” is nothing but a mine in which the Asmov Ore is found.  It's relevance to the PCs is completely nonexistent.




The wizard's tower is also the point of origin for the _golem, _but I wasn't sure where to go with this anyway. I suppose I SHOULD have stuck with most literal definition of the term. My bad.



Rune said:


> *Transcendence* is one of those thematic ingredients I like so much.  I like them because they have a lot of potential for weaving into and throughout an entry.  They're the kind of thing you can hang an adventure on.  I almost got that with “Quad.”  Almost.  It felt like that was what was _supposed_ to be there, but it was, unfortunately, mishandled.  In order for the PCs to get a sense of the golem's transcendence, they need to actually _see_ it happening—and not just the physical enlargement.  If an alignment shift from Chaotic Evil to Lawful Good is in the works, let the PCs in on it!  And if it's coming about because of the PCs' actions, they need to see that, too!  Otherwise, it's just wasted potential!




I suppose so!



Rune said:


> Sticking creatures with the *aberration* sub-type in a dungeon and having them hunt the PCs (as “Quad” does) isn't that creative a use of the ingredient.  Now, if the golem were an aberration (as implied in the entry), that might have worked, but I saw no way to actually take the golem as such.  The metal, for instance, was specifically described as being/causing _any_ golems made from it to be Chaotic Evil.  That could so easily have not been the case and the ingredient would have worked.




I thought having a golem that can grow was already different enough from any other golem I've read about, but I guess some tentacles wouldn't have hurt.



Rune said:


> And that leads to some disappointment with the *Death Spiral*, as well.  First of all, for those of you who don't know, this is another ingredient with multiple definitions.  Not only is it a figure-skating technique, but it is used in to describe a situation in which insurance costs rapidly increase because low-risk policy holders change policies or drop them altogether.  It has, of course, a similar meaning in gaming: a character acquires penalties through failure (often in the form of wounds), that make success (and, frequently, survival) increasingly less likely.  Both entries chose to go with a more literal interpretation.  I'm fine with that.
> 
> What doesn't work for me, however, is what “Quad” does: having a golem die of natural causes in a spiral dungeon and calling it a death spiral.




By the end of the tunnel any PCs in Quad are going to be subjected to (on average) 8 saves on that table, and I kinda thought the latter effects were already pretty brutal. Next time I'll make sure not to overlook the integration of themes so haphazardly and make sure to really drive things home.



Rune said:


> But where's the *Tasteless Joke*?  I've read “Quad” thrice, now.  Still—nothing.  The best I can figure is that the name of the killer-golem is supposed to be the joke.  But it's only tasteless in that it seems to reject themes that Asimov pretty consistently explored.



I found the entirety of my joke tasteless, but humor is a harsh and fickle mistress!



Rune said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Mike Myler, you have some strengths that you can build upon for future tournaments.  First of all, your vision was a good one.  Having the PCs chase a foe while being chased makes for a potentially fun scenario and following the golem as it grows up has great potential, as well.  Not to mention a good way with words!  If only some more time had been spent in exploring and polishing these elements—and if only the relationships between the ingredients and their relevance in the adventure had gotten a bit more attention...I feel like a second attempt would capitalize on some of the good things you've got buried beneath the surface.  That said, I'm afraid that second attempt can't happen in this tournament.  Dragonwriter's entry utilizes the ingredients better, and is a tighter, more usable entry.  Even if it is a little too small.




Thanks! My way with words, almost assuredly, is why I land any gigs at all.


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## Dragonwriter (Jul 14, 2013)

Written before the Judgement:
Okay, as to the creative process, I find it something difficult to describe. In this case, most of the scenario came simply as a burst of inspiration. On seeing the ingredients, most of them clicked together very quickly to my mind; only one remained difficult to integrate. 

The Aberration struck me immediately as the unsurprisingly traditional creature which began as a Mind Flayer. I pictured it trying to Transcend its form into something even greater, and attempting to achieve this result by killing Sentient Prey in a Death Spiral, with the energy generated focused at the spiral’s Point of Origin. I kid you not, this was formed in my mind within about 15 minutes of seeing the ingredients. Only the Tasteless Joke eluded me.

I moved on, focusing for a little bit on the connections between the other elements and how to make them work together as well as I could, as well as thinking about the format of the adventure. I settled on a plain old simple side dungeon and was thinking of potential Hooks when the idea to nab the party by tricky magic came to me. The way to disguise the magic was through a book of really, really bad jokes. I felt this was a fairly poor way to work in the ingredient, but it was the best I could think of at the time. And with the time limit on my mind, I decided to just run with it, even with the railroady nature of the thing. It was only meant to be a side adventure, after all.

As I was writing up the basic framework, an idea regarding the Aberration came to mind – what about a double-meaning? My thoughts went to ways to make an Aberration in both type and spirit, eventually leading to the abominable hybridization of Aboleth and Mind Flayer that came to be named Zuxrashothikt. 

It went on from there in the same basic style. The rest was mostly thinking up weird window dressing and how to describe Zuxrashothikt, which pretty much entirely came about by simply thinking of what the Monster Manual’s picture of a Mind Flayer crossed with an Aboleth would look like.

………
After reading Rune’s Judgement:

Thank you for the critiques and advice. I knew I was going to take a hit for the poor implementation of the Joke. And looking back, I can see how I could have done more with the Point of Origin, like at least making the dungeon created in the same place as the bad guy’s Point of Origin or something useful to manipulate there in the Showdown. 

I think the biggest thing preying on my mind was the time limit. I knew I wouldn’t have a lot of time in the evening to devote and absolutely none the next morning, so I was really focused on just trying to finish up what was effectively a (maybe) second draft. This also played a large part in me keeping the scope of my scenario much smaller, as I didn’t feel I could comfortably tackle a larger adventure and make it of competitive quality with the time constraints.

All that said, I’m glad you enjoyed the style. It was fun to write.  It might be something I come back and expand upon at some point in the future for one of my games. 

I will do my best to put your advice to use in my next round. And I’ll make it bigger (the 48 hours will help). 

………
 [MENTION=6726030]Mike Myler[/MENTION]
When I saw how much you got done in those few hours, I was really worried. Your evocative style, clever Asmov Golem rebuilding, and strong mechanical explanations were really well-done, IMO. It was great competing against you, and I hope to see you in the tournament again.


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## Rune (Jul 14, 2013)

Mike Myler said:


> I thought having a golem that can grow was already different enough from any other golem I've read about, but I guess some tentacles wouldn't have hurt.




Sorry, I should clarify.  I meant if the golem was an aberration as in "different from other Asmov golems"--if, for instance, it was chaotic evil while other Asmov golems were not.  You could easily have done this, but, instead, went out of your way to specify that all Asmov golems are inherently evil.  I didn't really understand the decision to do so.  Hell, making the golem's chaotic evil nature an aberration would have even have made the transcendence more meaningful.



> By the end of the tunnel any PCs in Quad are going to be subjected to (on average) 8 saves on that table, and I kinda thought the latter effects were already pretty brutal. Next time I'll make sure not to overlook the integration of themes so haphazardly and make sure to really drive things home.




Okay.  Point taken.  That's pretty subtle.  I enjoy subtlety, but I've definitely learned (the hard way) that you can't rely on it completely in IRON DM.  Much better to layer it in.



> I found the entirety of my joke tasteless, but humor is a harsh and fickle mistress!




Sorry, dude.  It's not that I didn't think it was funny.  I _completely_ missed it!  Unless _that's_ the joke.  In which case, kudos--that's pretty subtle, too.



> Thanks! My way with words, almost assuredly, is why I land any gigs at all.




Plus, I noticed that you know how to use a semicolon; little things make me happy.


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## Rune (Jul 14, 2013)

Dragonwriter said:


> I will do my best to put your advice to use in my next round. And I’ll make it bigger (the 48 hours will help).




...Yeah...about that...I think you'll find that the word-limit will make that difficult.  Actually, your entry was a pretty good size (although I didn't do a word-count this time around).  It just didn't have enough adventure in it.  You're an efficient writer, so I'm sure you can pull that off.


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## Dragonwriter (Jul 14, 2013)

Rune said:


> ...Yeah...about that...I think you'll find that the word-limit will make that difficult.  Actually, your entry was a pretty good size (although I didn't do a word-count this time around).  It just didn't have enough adventure in it.  You're an efficient writer, so I'm sure you can pull that off.




The "bigger" was meant as "bigger in scope." This one was pretty limited, so the push will be to make it more expansive while still keeping my writing, as you said, efficient.


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## Rune (Jul 14, 2013)

*Round 2, Match 1: Wicht vs. Dragonwriter*

[MENTION=221]Wicht[/MENTION] and  [MENTION=54988]Dragonwriter[/MENTION], you have *48 hours* to post your entries to this thread.  Please limit your entry to 3000 words.  Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted.  Neither the list of ingredients at the beginning of your entry, nor the title, will count against this limit, _but everything else (*including any definitions or descriptions of your ingredients that you may wish to include*) will!_  Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own.  You are on your honor to do so.

*Your ingredients are:

End of the World

Unearth

Diplomatic Immunity

Artificial Intelligence

Wise Fool

Impossible Dream*


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## Wicht (Jul 15, 2013)

*The Crystals of Monassan*

*The Crystals of Monassan*

*Background*
Two thousand years ago, near to where the city of Hillsfold now sits, there was a mighty city, Monassan, ruled by three wizard-lords: Ingazan, Vonshpin and Celieena. It was a prosperous city, filled with wonders and beauty, the greatest of which were the arcane creations of the cities own rulers. Chief among the discoveries and inventions of these three were the chryslins, arcane crystals powered by the winds of magic which, when attached properly to an inanimate object, granted movement, a semblance of life and a limited self-awareness to the object so powered. Each of the chryslins was attuned to a particular aspect of the magical winds, being necromantic, evocative, divinary, etc., so that the objects powered could be fashioned to have particular abilities according to the school of magic they were attuned to. 

It was Celieena who first took the use of the chryslins to the next stage of development, fashioning what she called necrispikes, arcane iron implements powered by seven chryslins, which, when placed in the skull of a dead body, animated the bones of that body. But the necrispikes were more than mere servitors. The arcane union of seven chryslins granted true sentience. Ingazan soon followed suit, merging seven chryslins together into a single crystal, so that the crystal so created likewise had sentience. He called his crystal creations the quarl, and, though they lacked arms, legs, faces, or any organic feature, they had the power of levitation and telepathy and the full ability to interact with the world around them. These two new “races,” despite their intelligence, were used as little more than slaves for a hundred years. 

Meanwhile, Vonshpin was not idle. Jealous of the creations of his comrades, the wizard spent many years ambitiously creating his own servants using the chryslins. What he ultimately created was a trio of entities called the psypossessors, bodiless entities made entirely of thought and completely loyal to their creator. Though they could exist incorporeal and insubstantial for an indefinite period of time with no ill effect, the true power of these creatures was their ability to enter a body, taking full control of that body, for as long as suited them. When Vonshpin's co-rulers discovered what he had done, they feared the result and commanded that he destroy his work. He refused and a war broke out; a war which destroyed the city. 

In the aftermath of the destruction, the quarl banded together and traveled northward, eventually settling in the icy wastelands of the arctic north. The necrispikes traveled east into the desert lands, where after five hundred years of nomadic wanderings and, countless wars of survival, they established the city-state of Ivensand. As the necrispikes and quarl fashioned new lives for themselves, the ruins of Monassan were lost to time, buried by a volcanic eruption and the subsequent course change of the Kiliasus river. 

Yet the heritage of the city of Monassan lives on. It lives on in the necrispikes and the quarl. It lives on in the three immortal psypossessors who even now roam the world. And it lives on in a strange psuedo-world named Aisgun, a creation of Ingazan trapped in a pocket of the plane of dreams within a larimar globe. Ingazan sent his most loyal followers and a good number of the citizens of his city into this world right before Vonshpin unleashed the great cataclysmic strike which ended the war and Monassan in the same fell stroke. 

As our adventure begins, the site of Monassan has been rediscovered and an excavation of the city has begun.

*Adventure Synopsis*
The PCs, having recently dealt with the problem of Weeping Oak, are heroes of Hillsfold and thus it is only natural that they are asked to meet with some of Hillsfold's newest visitors, ambassadors from Ivensand and from the Confederal Kritarchy of Iceborn. These ambassadors are in the city, each delivering a great deal of money to help fund the excavation of the ruins of Monassan. The PCs have an opportunity to meet with the ambassadors at a party, but not all goes smoothly. A man named Kojnor Salamdar is also in town. Salamdar is rumored to be one of the four richest men in the Kingdom. He too is financing the excavation. Salamdar appears to be habitually drunk. He is loud, boorish and often outrageous. He surrounds himself with sycophants who appear, if it is possible, to be even drunker and louder than Salamdar himself. But things are not what they appears. Kojnor Salamdar was possessed at a young age by one of the three immortal psypossessors. This particulary psypossessor is cany and powerful, but also not a little insane. He has an interest in the ruins of Monassan, but he also hopes to create great troubles for the necrispikes and quarl, whom he hates with a passion. Salamdar instigates trouble so that one of the ambassadors, the necrispike, kills a young lady at the party. The ambassador has diplomatic immunity, and claims self defense but it is still something of a scandal and the PCs are asked to deal with it, if they would, to smooth things out, preferably with tact. In the course of this, they have opportunity to interact with both ambassadors, and it is possible that the PCs become suspicious of one or both of the ambassadors and their intents.

Shortly thereafter, several workers involved in the excavation of Monassan are killed and the PCs are subsequently asked to take part in securing the ruins, killing the dangerous monsters that have moved into the ruins and investigating for any treasures or cultural artifacts. The ambassadors are openly and especially interested in the discovery of any chryslins, and though the PCs might be suspicious of their motives, they offer to pay well for any chryslins found. The investigation of the city does reveal several of the automated creatures used by the inhabitants. Many of these creatures, powered by one or two of the arcane batteries, are now dangerous. The city ruins are also occupied in places by subterranean creatures which have migrated up from the underdark and there are countless arcane booby-traps, remnants of the war which destroyed the city. As the PCs explore the city, they unearth, hidden in a buried tower, and protected by many dangers, a great blue crystal sphere which radiates powerful magics.

This larimar globe is taken into Hillsfold and housed in the city museum for study. The PCs whether or not they have a hand in uncovering its secrets are soon made privy to the realization that there is a world hidden within the sphere. The sphere contains a pocket dimension of the plane of dream, a fold of that plane twisted upon itself. The PCs are asked to reach the world and see what it holds. Magically transporting themselves into the sphere they discover they must accomplish three impossible tasks: they must defeat an unkillable army, they must cross an eternal sea, and they must climb to the top of an endless stair. Each of these tasks can be accomplished through willpower and altering the dreamworld so that reality and perception is changed. The unkillable army can be entrapped, the endless sea can be crossed by going under it, and the endless stair can be scaled by shrinking the tower holding the stair so that one can simply step atop the tower. To discover these truths, the PCs must learn how to manipulate dream if they hope to succeed, going so far as to dream-burn some of their own dreams and aspirations to empower themselves in the dream-world. Once the three challenges are overcome the world within the sphere is unlocked in dream, the PCs can visit it freely whenever they wish. The hidden world is called Aisgun and the PCs discover that the descendants of the followers of Ingazan live peacefully (or close to it) thereon. These inhabitants are eager for news of the world of their ancestors and the rulers of Hillsfold are quick to offer an alliance with the new world.

But trouble manifests in a clumsy attempt on the lives of the PCs and an attack on the crystal globe holding the world of Aisgun within it. This attack is a decoy attack by Konjor Salamdar to point suspicion at the two ambassadors who also appear eager to develop relationships with the descendants of Monassan. In the ensuing political chaos, Salamdar, in his hate and madness, hopes to find an opportunity to truly destroy the globe. The PCs are, true to their role as heroes of the city, asked to guard the globe and thus they are there when Salamdar's minions attempt to place the globe in a sack of holding and drop it into a portable hole, an event that would surely destroy the small world, the artifact, the museum and possibly half the city. If the minions are thwarted, they point the way to the true villain. Salamdar, his cover as a harmless, rich fool gone, tries to flee, but it is possible for him to be caught and maybe even killed. If this happens, the psypossessor is able to find a new body and try again, creating an ongoing threat. The citizens of Aisgun alone of all the creatures in the multiverse, have knowledge of the psypossessors and the cause of the war that destroyed Monassan. They can reveal that there are three such monsters at loose in the world, having had two-thousand years to manipulate events to suit themselves. 

*New “Races” and their Motivations*
A necrispike is an implement of iron which is powered by seven internal chryslins, three of which are necromantic in nature. The exact configuration of the other four chryslins determines the initial abilities of each individual necrispike. When a necrispike is placed into the base of a skull, near to the spine, the bones of a skeleton are animated by the necrispike. If the host skeleton is destroyed, the necrispike can be placed onto a new skeleton, retaining its full knowledge and own personality. There were originally two thousand necrispikes who escaped the destruction of Monassan. Today there are only twelve hundred left. Though the iron necrispikes are hard to destroy, such a thing is possible and with the passing of years, their numbers have diminished. The necrispikes rule as the undying lords of the city-state of Ivensand. They rule over the descendants of slaves they freed. necrispikes in public, clothe their skeletal bodies with heavy garments and ornate helmets. necrispikes hate slavery and seek to destroy it wherever it is, a thing that makes them unpopular in much of the world. Nevertheless, though feared and hated, they press on, doing what they can to make the world a better place. They have devised methods of fashioning new necrispikes, but they lack the ability or knowledge to make new chryslins and so see in the uncovering of the city of Monassan a way to swell their ranks. 

The quarl appear as floating crystals, a foot in height. Though each quarl has different powers based on the attunement of the seven chryslins used to create each one, they each possess the powers of levitation and telepathy. Lacking arms, legs or any other features, the quarl are a psionic race, creatures of almost pure intellect. There were originally six thousand quarl who fled northward; today only a third of that number remainas they are even easier than the necrispikes to destroy. Having no need for heat or food, the quarl live in the frozen north, in communities of ice. There they study and seek ever for new knowledge.  The quarl believe that if they could learn to fashion chryslins, they could learn how they might grant themselves the ability of procreation, a thing they earnestly desire. They seek within Monassan both chryslins to study and perhaps clues as to their own creation. The quarl, though highly intelligent, have few emotions and relate poorly to races that do. Their interactions with various races have often led to conflict in the past because of their lack of empathy and inability to grasp the nuances of various social mores. Nevertheless, they, in their own way, are a peaceful group, desiring only to be allowed to study and meditate in peace.  

Vonshpin created the psypossessors by taking the energy of seven chryslins and freeing them even as he combined them to create incorporeal creatures of pure energy. He created three such creatures and enchanted them to be completely, to the point of fanaticism, loyal to himself. Though powerless when disembodied, their abilities when in a host body continue to increase and grow with every passing year.  Before Monassan was destroyed, Vonshpin sent his servants out into the world to escape the destruction he was about to unleash. Each of the creatures has kept abreast of the activities of their two brethren, but have acted independantly. The one called Kojnor Salamdar has sought the path of wealth, and has achieved it so that he controls, either openly, or in secret, more wealth than any other living man. Much of this wealth is arranged so that, even if he is killed, he can  claim it after taking a new body. Though he acts the fool, he is always open to money making opportunities. He sees within the excavation of Monassan the opportunity to gain access to great secrets and arcane devices which can be resold. At the same time, he is glad of every opportunity to thwart the necrispikes and quarl. When the globe containing Aisgun is discovered, he resolves, in his hate to kill every descendant of Monassan living within the globe. 

*Concluding the Adventure*
If things go wrong, it is possible that a great many people die and the world is thrown into turmoil. If the PCs thwart the attempt to blow up Aisgun, they are once more heroes, on two worlds, but they have made a powerful enemy and unearthed the presence of two other similar entities at large in the world. Learning how to destroy the psypossessors is an adventure in itself. The resolution of relations between Hillsfold, the necrispikes and the quarl are also going to very much depend on the actions and opinions of the PCs. Ideally the PCs gain new allies, but potentially there is the opportunity for political intrigue and even war. And then there is Aisgun, a world in need of protection, rich in resources, and ripe for a rich alliance with Hillsfold, if the PCs can manage to arrange such a thing. 


*End of the World
*_The world of Aisgun, held in the dream pocket within Ingazan's larimar globe, faces destruction at the hand of Kojnor Salamdar, who is, in truth, a cryslin psypossessor, one of the three races created in the ancient city of Monassan. 
_
*Unearth*
_The city of Monassan lies buried in the hills east of Hillsfold and while aiding in the exploration and excavation of this city, the PCs unearth the larimar globe which holds the world of Aisgun in its depths. Secondarily, the actions of the PCs help unearth the existance of the cryslin psypossessors.
_
*Diplomatic Immunity*
_The city state of Ivensand, ruled by the the cryslin necrispikes and the Confederal Kritarchy of Iceborn, in which dwell the quarl, have each sent financial support for the excavation of Monassan, their birth-city. The ambassadors who brought these funds have been granted diplomatic immunity.
_
*Artificial Intelligence*
_The three wizard-lords of Monassan, powerful and creative, fashioned chryslins, which were capable of giving motion and limited awareness to inanimate objects. They also discovered methods by which 7 chryslins could be joined into a single self-aware brain capable of thought, reason and learning. Through these methods, they fashioned the necrispikes and the quarl, as servitor races. One of their number, Vonshpin, in secret fashioned a third race, the psypossessors, as assassins and spies. 
_
*Wise Fool*
_Kojnor Salamdar appears as nothing more than an extravagant playboy and he plays up his reputation for foolishness. Many see his extravagant expenditures to aid in the excavation of Monassan as simply one more lark. But in truth, Salamdar is ancient and canny, and is the true villain of this tale. 
_
*Impossible Dream *
_The dream pocket in which rests the world of Aisgun is protected by a set of dream paradoxes which prevent easy entry to the world. Meanwhile, the necrispikes and the quarl have born, over the thousand years of their existence, unbearable sorrow, great loss, and untold prejudices. They have each, in their own way striven to create a place for themselves in the world, through courage and sometimes sacrifice. _


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## Dragonwriter (Jul 16, 2013)

*IRON DM 2013 Round 2, Match 1. Dragonwriter's Entry.*

*The Unending Cycle*
By Dragonwriter

*Ingredients:
End of the World

Unearth

Diplomatic Immunity

Artificial Intelligence

Wise Fool

Impossible Dream*


A very-high to Epic level adventure suited to closing a campaign and/or creating a new one. Preferably there has been some questioning of the reasons and methods of the gods by this point in time.

*Background*
The Sentient Construct Arkaz was created ages ago and abandoned. None took responsibility for creating it, none wanted it, but all feared it. As it wandered world and plane, it watched from afar the actions of gods and mortals. Arkaz watched as mortals killed and tyrannized in the names of their gods. And it came to believe the world would be far better without any gods, dreaming of freedom for all from such ruthless masters.

It took time, but Arkaz has established itself as a diplomatic envoy from a god of Logic and Reason, Verix, on Mechanus and kept its agenda secret within its artificial mind. It has begun to weaken the mightiest of the gods as it travels through their courts, all before it unleashes its ultimate plan…

*Adventure Synopsis:*
The PCs, as some of the mightiest heroes in the multiverse, are called upon by a minor deity of Balance to investigate what has destabilized the realms of several gods. The PCs will interact with various extraplanar entities and learn of Arkaz. They will have to unearth its secrets and plot and chase it to the End of the World where it enacts the final part of its grand scheme. The PCs will be faced with either killing Arkaz or joining it, leading to very different states for the world.

*The Hook:*
When the PCs are together, they all feel a sudden, sharp pain behind their eyes before collapsing to the ground. During this period of unconsciousness, all of them feel themselves standing upon and within nothing while looking at the world. The world begins to break apart before their eyes, followed by the sensation of their own bodies being shredded by the apocalypse. Then everything reforms before they awaken one by one. Each hears a whispered name -- “Amz” -- which the knowledgeable among them know as a minor god of Balance.

*Meeting Amz:*
Amz is a deity of Balance and embodies that concept entirely. While Amz is not mighty, due to a lack of worshippers, Amz is respected due to his commitment to Balance. She never takes sides but always seeks to preserve the Balance. It is for this reason Amz is concerned about the imbalance caused by the weakening and pain afflicting some of the mighty deities. Amz requests the PCs be his envoys to the other gods to unearth what is the cause and how to stop it. She suggests the party seek out a major deity who largely aligns with the party and has, naturally, been targeted. Amz does, however, provide a complete list of the affected deities -- this should be a number of the strongest, extreme-aligned gods, with a scattering of weaker ones all across the spectrum.

*The Courts of the Gods:*
While the PCs have a form of diplomatic immunity for how they handle their interactions, they will receive different welcomes based on the god they visit. They have also been cautioned not to abuse their immunity and safe passage by Amz. 

Each god and their realms are demonstrably weakened -- the palaces are tarnished and crumbling, the god is lethargic, and the normally-vibrant power is noticeably diminished. Friendlier deities will be unable to converse for long, but will convey what information they can. Deities with whom the party members have poor relations will be less helpful, but they will accept the claim of agency for Amz and speak a little. The most important piece of information and the two things all have in common are that the envoy Arkaz recently passed through their court, as did the Divine Jester of All Courts, Harleckee. Arkaz is currently making visits at other courts, as is Harleckee. The former will reject any attempt to see it while Harleckee is quite willing to chat (see below).

Meanwhile, evidence about Arkaz’s actions is also needed to be found. Nothing has come about primarily because Arkaz also has a form of diplomatic immunity and is considered above suspicion.

*Harleckee:*
The Jester-Demigod is another being who takes no sides, like Amz, and as such is welcomed at nearly all Courts. The nature of a jester also has allowed Harleckee to gather quite a lot of information and wisdom, though he doesn’t share knowledge about the various gods for whom he plays -- a wise choice. While the Divine Fool won’t talk about his “clients,” Arkaz was never a client and as such is fair game. However, Harleckee doesn’t like to speak plain. He’ll often babble nonsensically before tossing some helpful tidbit into the mix. Some usable examples to pepper into the nonsense are:

“The Metal Man waits beyond what he seeks.”
“Gods are nothing without men while men are nothing without gods.”
“Dig in the Earth  to find the source of the Metal. But where did the Man come from? For that, look within the Sigil.”

*Evidence:*
Examining the Courts Arkaz attended as envoy clearly points to something invasive causing the trouble, and the affliction only began shortly after Arkaz left each time. If the PCs ask about detaining Arkaz, they face strong opposition without ironclad proof, as the envoy of the God of Logic is largely considered beyond suspicion. Searching further reveals more information regarding the link between gods and the worship and belief of mortals and something is disrupting this flow of energy, weakening the gods. The PCs may find one such Disruption Engine (treat as a Minor Artifact) in the realm of a deity… then the first god dies of “starvation.” (The DM is suggested to choose a minor deity who was afflicted early.)
It is during this investigation that Arkaz should send a hit squad of god-hating allies to stop the PCs or at least keep the Engine from their hands. There should be a very weak piece of evidence here, such as a piece of metal similar to Arkaz’s construction or a note with an initial on it. If accusations are made, Arkaz points to the doubtlessly long history of violent and impulsive actions compared to its own long, honorable service to Verix. Logic indicates it should be believed, especially as it holds diplomatic immunity and the so-called evidence is pathetic. 
Attempts to use divinations or compulsions to make Arkaz speak the truth should fail due to its nature as a Construct. Its artificial mind protects it from any sort of attempted incursion or manipulation.

*Discovering the Origin of Arkaz:*
If the PCs talk with Harleckee, they may get the good idea to seek Arkaz’s history. The Jester’s hints should point them to Sigil, where a meeting with a high-ranking official or information broker (or, if they play their cards right, one of the Lady of Pain’s assistants) can point them to the site where Arkaz is believed to have been created long ago. It is, however, long since built over and buried under eons of construction. If the party is willing to spend the time to manage it, they can find and excavate the ancient laboratory over several days (even with the aid of magic). But the longer they take, the worse the gods fare. 
If they do excavate the ancient lab, they can find old etched metal plates in Draconic explaining some of the process of creating Arkaz. There are also notes regarding the creator’s contempt for the gods and how this experiment proves even they do not have total mastery over life. There are also rudimentary designs for something akin to the Disruption Engine, though these are clearly in a different hand and much less aged (though still very old) than the experiment records. In this second handwriting, they can also find ruminations on the limits of the world, the writer’s lack of place in any world, and how to bring the uncaring gods to their end by ending all mortals.

*Ongoing Events:*
While the PCs are engaged in various things, deities should be clearly worsening in condition. They begin pointing fingers at each other for being the source, especially to gods still unaffected. Wars erupt on the Material Plane as the gods send their followers to war with each other. The PCs should be contacted by various monarchs and officials pleading for their assistance. The pleas should grow more and more heartbreaking and desperate (or angry and vengeful) as time goes on.

As time goes on, things become more troublesome. Arkaz may send another team of killers after the party if it feels they are becoming a threat. If the party attempts to accuse Arkaz while in the domain of another god, it again refutes them. If they present the evidence they have collected, it will become consternated, protest, then attempt to return to the domain of its “master” before anything can be done. Even if the PCs do not cause such a stir, Arkaz returns there regardless, after one last attempt to kill the party through intermediaries.

The party should eventually make their way to the realm of Arkaz’s god, either from their own conclusion or perhaps further hints dropped from Harleckee. Once there, they discover the God of Logic has been murdered. The corpse has been prevented from joining the Astral Plane and instead used to open a gate to the End of the World, in this case a literal place beyond the planes from which to observe the event of the same name (just as Harleckee said). It should be clear Arkaz has gone through the portal.

*At World’s End:*
Going through the dead god’s gate to a place that should not exist is not a pleasant experience for mortals. They plummet through the void, feeling their entire bodies shredded away as in the dream so long ago. Then the party appears face-down in a cold metal floor. Arkaz stands a short distance away with its back turned to them.

“Now you have experienced something akin to what I experienced at my creation and when I realized the loving gods cared nothing for a creation such as me. Could I not worship them like a mortal? Yes. But as I am animated by magic, not blood, I had no place in their creation. 
“Not that their creation fares any better than I did. Mortals wage war on orders of their caring, loving gods, throwing their lives away for beings so far beyond them they shouldn’t even recognize one another in the same existence. So as you can see, I found a way to end it. And we will watch it here from this Un-Earth.”

Further speech could well explain Arkaz’s rationale and methods, though these should always come back to Logic. It is nearly impossible to provoke an emotional reaction from Arkaz, as its created brain simply does not process such information in much of any capacity. If they ask about the kill-squads, Arkaz responds, “Logic asserted you were a potential threat. As in all things, Logic was accurate. It further dictated the logical way to handle a threat was to remove it. However, you are no longer a threat, so further attempts are unnecessary.”

Arkaz is perfectly happy to speak, viewing the party as the nearest equals to itself for having reached this place. As long as they remain peaceful, so is it. It is happy to explain how and why it has done what it has done. The highlights are along these lines:

“A mind of metal is not as one of flesh. Logic demonstrated the gods were the problem, but they were untouchable. The way to strike the gods was then, logically, to strike at them through their source of power. Without faith, they have nothing and become nothing.”
“The Disruption Engine was a theory I devised some time ago. It was a way to cut off the power source of the gods, according to the theory, and it seems to have worked.”
“Now the gods have no power. They cannot protect the source of their power and their tyranny will end. As the world ends, so do all the gods. A new world shall be made, free of them. This is the only logical way to free the people. This is… my dream.”
“From here, we can manipulate the building blocks of a new world. I spent centuries designing it to perfection. And as you are the only beings to have reached this, I offer you a choice. You can join me and help create this new world. But if you do not help me, I can only expect you intend to oppose me still. That cannot be tolerated.”

If the Pcs question how to stop it, Arkaz says simply, “There is no way. Logic dictated I allow no possibility of stopping the process. The ending of the world has already begun. You mortals may take pleasure in knowing you have a… how do you say? A marvelous view for the event. But do not worry. We are beyond the end of the world. We will be untouched. And it will be for us to make the world anew, free of the gods.
“From here, we can manipulate the building blocks of the world. I spent centuries designing it to perfection. And as you are the only beings to have reached this, I offer you a choice. You can join me and help create this new world. But if you do not help me, I can only expect you intend to oppose me still. That cannot be tolerated.”

If the PCs ask about putting the world back together, Arkaz states it is possible, though why anyone would do so is illogical.

Clearly, the two chief choices are to assist Arkaz in making the new world and coming to be worshipped as the new gods (rendering Arkaz’s dream impossible to ever accomplish) or to try to kill Arkaz and put the world back together as they see fit. While the party may figure out something else, these are considered the most likely courses of action and will be addressed.

*Joining Arkaz:*
Arkaz would clearly prefer the party to join it. If they ask why their divine casters are not a problem, it will respond, “One follower is not enough to sustain any god. And the trauma resulting from the world’s end will destroy most of them outright. The remainder will quickly wither away.”
If the party does accept this offer, they will have a hand in creating a new world. The area Arkaz has constructed for them allows manipulation of the aether, the destroyed world, and the purest elements to make a new world and imbue it with whatever life they see fit. Unfortunately, it does not take long after the construction of the new world before the party and Arkaz are viewed as gods by whatever sentient races they may decide to create/recreate. Arkaz will again attempt to destroy the world and make it anew, free of gods, never realizing that such an outcome is impossible.

*Fighting Arkaz:*
Arkaz is extremely powerful and should prove at least a Very Difficult challenge for the party. As a Construct, it is immune to many effects and has also benefitted from long-term exposure to deific energy. It should be very difficult to affect with magic or harm with weaponry due to high resistances of all sorts. Further, it has considerable command over the location everyone currently inhabits. It will cause the metallic surface to churn under the party’s feet, attack them with slashes and blasts of various sorts (all high-damage) and reshape it to protect itself from area effects or cut off spellcasters.

While the battle is going on, the DM should describe the world breaking apart in the distance. Tug on the player’s heartstrings as much as possible, pointing out any connections the party may have to the world, events and locations in their lives with strong connections to other people, family and friends and the like, all the work they have done over time brought to nothing.

And as the debris from the breaking world grows closer, Arkaz’s creation can reach out and manipulate this debris, turning it into massive, deadly weapons against the party.

*Wrapping Up:*
If the PCs kill Arkaz, they will still be facing a destroyed world and dead gods. It will be up to them how to remake the world, either by putting it back the way it was (with some possible changes) or making a whole new one. If they join Arkaz, the choice is clearly to make a new world, which presents its own set of challenges. Either way, the party has the chance to drastically change the entire world with their subsequent choices and this provides a way to close out a campaign while opening the door for another.

*Adventure Summary and Detailed Breakdown of Ingredients:*
The party must *Unearth* the plans of an *Artificial Intelligence*, partly accomplished by speaking with a *Wise Fool*, as it is manipulating *Diplomatic Immunity* while attempting to bring about the *End of the World* from the *End of the World* to realize its *Impossible Dream*.

[sblock=Detailed Breakdown]
*End of the World*: Goal of the *Artificial Intelligence*, and location where it awaits said event.

*Unearth*: The PCs finding evidence about the *Artificial Intelligence*, both by investigation and by literally unearthing its ancient laboratory of creation. Also the name of Arkaz’s creation to manipulate the remaking of the world.

*Diplomatic Immunity*: Granted to the PCs for pursuing the *Artificial Intelligence*. Also used by Arkaz to avoid allegations.

*Artificial Intelligence*: Arkaz, the Sentient Construct seeking the *End of the World*.

*Wise Fool*: Harleckee, the Jester of the Gods, spouts wisdom amid nonsense.

*Impossible Dream*: The *Artificial Intelligence* seeks the end of the gods by making a new world. But the new races, free of the gods, will simply seek new ones.
[/sblock]


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## Rune (Jul 16, 2013)

*Round 2, Match 2: Deuce Traveler vs. Radiating Gnome*

[MENTION=34958]Deuce Traveler[/MENTION] and  [MENTION=150]Radiating Gnome[/MENTION], you have *48 hours* to post your entries to this thread.  Please limit your entry to 3000 words.  Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted.  Neither the list of ingredients at the beginning of your entry, nor the title, will count against this limit, _but everything else (*including any definitions or descriptions of your ingredients that you may wish to include*) will!_  Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own.  You are on your honor to do so.

*Your ingredients are:

Weeping Willow

Trust

Sinking Ship

Beginning of Time

Nobody Special

Unlikely Appointment*


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 17, 2013)

Weeping Willow
Trust
Sinking Ship
Beginning of Time
Nobody Special
Unlikely Appointment



> “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”― Fred Rogers




_This is an adventure intended for a modern game with magical themes; I'm writing it with Dresden Files RPG/FATE in mind, but it could just as easily be played with D20 Modern, Savage Worlds, or any number of other systems. It could be adapted to be played in D&D. The adventure requires some good roleplaying and heavy use of social conflict mechanics, so whichever system is chosen should have good tools for those sorts of encounters. 
_

*The Hook.  
*
The players are detectives, mercenaries, or in some other way available for hire. One day, an appointment notice appears (in a format appropriate to the setting) but the strange thing is that the appointment is actually scheduled for the day before. 

After the announcement appears, time starts to behave oddly.  When they aren't looking, it seems to start jumping backwards. First a few minutes, then a few hours. They still experience time heading in the right direction, but every time they look around it's actually earlier. 

Eventually, the phenomenon will take the back in time enough to make it time for the appointment that had been scheduled. 

*The Unlikely Appointment
*
So, the appointment is with Chris Cringle. Cringle is a heavyset, white-haired man with a pocket watch he is constantly fiddling with. 

Cringle explains that he must hire them -- needs their services to take on a monumental task that only they can help with. They are uniquely able bring about the changes he and his masters believe are necessary in the world.  

He asks that they follow him through their closet door - which now leads through a shimmering veil into an otherworldly forest. 

If the players refuse to follow, time starts to behave normally, but as they go about their day, but everything seems to be going wrong for them -- trusted tools break, simple tasks go wrong, and so on.  Every once in a while, Cringle will wind up in a location they're visiting and ask if they've reconsidered.  

*The Conifer Exposition
*
The passage from the closet leads through what turns out to be a curtain of weeping willow leaves to the canopy under a large willow tree.  Cringle signals for them to be quiet, and leads them out from under the tree an into a grove of pine trees.  One of the PCs (whomever is most nature-associated) feels a slight pull to not leave the canopy of the tree, but it passes quickly.

This is no normal forest. The sky above is pitch black -- even without stars -- although there seems to be enough ambient light from unknown sources that the PCs can see clearly. 

Cringle begins to explain, showing them his watch, which now has a blank face. He's whispering.   "We are at the very beginning.  This is the start. In a moment time will begin, and all things will begin again.  

"I took you from a version of time -- a possible timeline -- called the Age of Sorrow. Your existence is a series of misfortune and sorrows -- broken up with just enough break between sorrows to make each one a new surprise. Your lives are misery, whether you know it or not -- because that great willow we passed beneath is the elder god who has mastered time. 

"Your prophet Lovecraft came closest to the truth -- his visions of distant, dispassionate elder gods were based on visions he had of the Tree of Sorrow. He saw the hanging leaves as tentacles, his visions of the collective sorrows drove him mad. 

"There is an opportunity, however. A weakness in the structure of the Age of Sorrows. A moment when the survival of a vitally important person can change everything, and roll back the age of sorrow. 

"One thing you need to understand about trees on your world.  They're plants, yes, but what they are really is a physical manifestation of a glance from one of the elder gods, the Ur-trees.  You ask yourselves, all the time, if a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound -- that's actually a pervasion of a terrible truth of the Ur-Trees.  If sometime happens away from trees, it is not observed. It is lost in time. 

"There are many sorrows that take place in your world, over the eons, but most take place within the purview of the trees. But one important one took place far from the eyes of the trees.  The sinking of the Titanic. 

"That is where you must go.  There is a man there, an incredibly important person who you must ensure survives. A journalist, champion of the people and the power of the press to balance the abuses of the wealthy and powerful. 

"His survival will wreak dramatic changes to the timeline -- both forward and backward.  So far from land, and the view of the trees, those changes will happen unnoticed for long enough to unmake enough of the Age of Sorrow that this unmaking will be impossible for the UrWillow to stop. 

"Your mission is to board the Titanic, find him, and convince him to board one of the lifeboats. He must make the choice to board, not be forced to board, so you must get him to trust you, convince him that he's important enough that the world needs him to survive."  

*First Trip to the Titanic**
*
The PC are sent via a Fir Tree Gate (similar to the Willow gate they came through -- a sort of portal outline by branches and leaves) to docks where the Titanic is preparing to disembark. Cringle gives them a pinecone and explains that they can use the pinecone to open a gate back to the beginning once their task is complete.

They have to try to acquire tickets find some other way to get on board. 

Once on board, they can make their way around the ship and encounter several key personalities -- The Astors, Maggie Brown, Ben Guggenheim, and many others.  There's room for some other encounters here -- perhaps Leo DiCaprio's character is here, and the PCs can make sure he actually survives, too! -- or maybe they will steal that big blue sapphire for themselves.  

It's possible, with first class access to the ship, to become acquainted with Stead***, who is a powerful, charismatic man and excellent storyteller. 

When the ship strikes the iceberg, things get exciting.  Anyone who happens to see the iceberg (on deck, on the bridge, etc) will see a shadowy Willow Tree there one moment, but it will be gone the next (probably just a trick of their eyes, right?)

The ship is taking on water, and the first class passengers (women and children) are being put on life boats. William Stead is there, helps put several people on lifeboats and even gives away his lifejacket. 

Then the PCs seem to shift out of phase, and shadowy creatures appear that they must battle on the sloping decks of the sinking ship. 

Once that battle is complete, they phase back in, and must convince Stead to board a lifeboat voluntarily. Doing so via violent means (hitting him over the head and dumping him into the boat) will not result in his survival -- if he's not convinced to survive at the expense of others, he'll regain consciousness shortly after the PCs dump him into a boat and give up his seat for someone pulled out of the water. He'll cling to the side of the boat, then, until his feet freeze into blocks of ice, and he must allow himself to sink. The PCs will discover that they've failed when they try to return, and will have to find a way to go to the life boat and convince him to get himself aboard again.

Once he's float and safe, the PCs may have one last phased-out battle, then can use the pinecone to return. 

*Back at the Beginning*

Once back in the Elder UrTree forest, the PCs are able to see the unraveling of time, a process that starts slowly in one leaf of the UrWillow, then spreading like an unraveling sweater. It goes faster and faster until the tree is reduced to a sapling, at which point an elderly Chinese woman appears*.  

"What have you done?"

*The Willow Exposition
*
The PC can explain themselves as they like, then the UrWillow Woman shakes her head sadly.  The tree begins to grow again, behind her, and they are aware of time going forward. The branches of the tree no longer droop, but stretch out to the stars that blink into existence above. 

The UrWoman beckons the PCs forward, and they are treated to a vision of a new world, a future without sorrow.  An eden of sorts, but humanity quickly becomes a lumpy, obese slugs that do nothing but eat and procreate and sleep.  Time passes, and nothing happens. Nothing advances. Nothing changes. The time-tree doesn't branch.

"What the rebellious Firs called the Age of Sorrow is the Age of Man. It is only in overcoming challenges, facing adversity, standing up to evil, in which mankind reaches it's full potential. The Firs have used you to put a stop to all of that. 

"When there are sorrows, your people --ordinary people -- rise to the occasion and become heroes. Whether the sorrows are manmade or natural, always there are the helpers, the heroes. Without sorrow, your people have no divinity. No grace. 

"You must go back and restore the Age of Man."   

*Back to the Titanic*

This time, the PCs are delivered to the Iceberg. When the ship strikes the Iceberg, they bound across and enter the ship, out of phase with the people on board. They remain out of phase (for the time being). 

They must travel through the ship, while the people are being put on lifeboats, etc, and find their former selves, just after convincing Stead to board the lifeboat.  

This time, in the out-of-phase battle, they must face themselves (the DM runs the characters from the previous timeline, using their own stats) and defeat themselves to return to "reality" and be able to interact with the people on the ship. 

Then, they must convince Stead to give up his seat in the lifeboat to nobody special -- a mother from second class, a nurse from Albany, NY, anyone who is not an important person and who is handy. They're actually arguing in this case against the arguments they made to Stead to get him on board the lifeboat in the first place, but have a slight advantage in that it was his natural inclination to give up his seat. Still they're asking that he accept that he die at sea. 

Once he's convinced, and steps back off the lifeboat, the players shift back out of phase, and Cringle appears before them, backed up with a squad of anthropomorphic pine trees.  

Cringle's appearance becomes less and less human each round of this final battle -- becoming more and more demonic and tree-like. He monologues about the players ruining everything, and it becomes clear that his plot was not to save humanity, but to denude it, ensuring that the world would remain safe for trees for all time.  

*Return to the Beginning, One Last Time*

After defeating Cringle, the PCs can return to the Beginning of Time to have one last meeting with the UrWillow.  

They find the elderly Chinese woman sitting beneath the tree, crying.  She greets them with a weak smile, and they turn and see the grove of pine trees is dead. Nearby, the grove of pine trees is a charred, dead wreck. There are signs of the wounds given to Cringle and his allies on the trees there.  All of the trees there are clearly dead, and as the players watch they turn to ash and blow away. 

She explains that Cringle and his partisans were trying to change time and eliminate the threat that Man represents to trees.  

"Your time is the beginning of the end for my race, they believe. And it is truly a time of suffering. This is why I weep. 

"The trees are being cut back, many more places are cut off from our purview. We can no longer see into the hearts of many of your cities. You live further and further from us, and spurn our influence. Cringle sought to reverse that through deception and trickery. Now he and his kind are lost forever. 

"Go back and protect the trees in your time, and know that we are watching over you as well."

The PCs should be, at this point, still in possession of the pinecone.  If they turn it over to the UrWillow Woman, she will weep with joy. "A seed survives, the can be restored). 

If they don't give her the pinecone, they return to their own time with it.  Everything will be basically back to normal, but there are no evergreen trees.  And have never been.  Cheap wood products are made out of other materials. They can plan the pinecone at some point, and that effort will restore it to the timeline as if it had always been there -- but if they don't think to do so, they'll live in a world without cheap wood furniture and christmas trees.  

*Ingredient Use:*

Weeping Willow - The UrWillow, the anchor of the Age of Sorrows, and the anchor of the timeline
Trust - The PCs must win William Stead's Trust twice during the adventure -- the second time arguing against themselves. 
Sinking Ship - The Titanic. 
Beginning of Time - The beginning of time, the time/place where the PCs talk to Cringle about the mission, and the UrWillow about undoing the damage they've done.
Nobody Special - the person who, in the end, takes the place William Stead could have had in the lifeboat. 
Unlikely Appointment - The hook, an appointment with Cringle set for yesterday. 

*
Notes:*
*Willow trees are chinese, originally, so I made the UrWillow a chinese woman. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salix_babylonica#Horticultural_selections_and_related_hybrids
** More info on the Titanic to flesh out the adventure: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RMS_Titanic
***Stead is a real personality, and he really did die on the Titanic. He was possibly slated to receive the Nobel Peace Prize the following year. He had been an advocate for changes to child labor laws, journalistic oversight over government, and so on. He was the father of Tabloids, for better or worse.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Thomas_Stead


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 17, 2013)

Damn. Forgot to give my post a title.  Title was meant to be "Age of Sorrow".  Nerts. 

-j


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 17, 2013)

*Deuce Traveler's Entry for Round 2, Match 2: Deuce Traveler vs. Radiating Gnome*

*Title:* 
Time, Truth and Trust

*Ingredients:*
_Weeping Willows =>_ Ideal trees for blocking desert soil erosion.  Used by Inan the Grand Merchant to sustain his famously large plantation which feeds much of the Cities of the Plains.  Site of first confrontation against Tiam’s forces, but on land.

_Trust => _ Property interest of Inan that is supposed to go to his bastard child, Syra.  Lost in a storm due to a sinking ship.  This trust is Inan’s way of breaking his agreement with Tiam without truly breaking it.

_Sinking Ship=>_ Vessel containing Inan’s property trust, coming from lands unknown.  Site of second confrontation and the party’s challenge against Tiam, but on the sea.

_Beginning of Time=>_ Moment and place that started civilization for the Cities of the Plains.  Site of agreement between Inan and Tiam.  Site of third and final confrontation in a place between order and chaos.

_Nobody Special=>_ Syra, a poor commoner who happens to be the bastard child of Inan and inheritor of his trust.  Her vulnerable life makes her sympathetic to the plight of others and an ideal candidate for Inan’s inheritance.

_Unlikely Appointments=>_ Party members appointed as guides and heralds to future demigod, Syra and party showing unexpectedly to decision on Inan’s property during debate on inheritors, and Syra’s appointment to deity-hood.

*Background:* 
News quickly spreads in the region of the recent death from old age of a rich and famed merchant, resulting in the lesser local plantation owners, merchants, and nobles squabbling over who will inherit his quite valuable property.  The dead merchant imported acres of _salix babylonicas_, also known as weeping willows, and used them to block the ever invading desert winds which had been strangling the local agriculture in recent years.  This act, and his purchase of previously valueless land, resulted in him developing a huge plot of land that fed a third of the local population and helped the area grow in wealth and power.  When he purchased the land many decades ago, he annotated in the government records that a legal trust would be brought from across the sea at the chance of his death, though no ship has yet appeared.

The characters have an orphaned friend named Syra who seeks them out.  She talks about having a strange vision of a man calling her his daughter and telling her to travel to his estate, guarded from the desert sand by weeping willows.  There she is to claim ownership of his property.  She insists that the dream was real, despite the heroes wondering if the turmoil from recent happenings has affected her mind.  Syra causes a commotion upon her arrival to the estate and her proclamation of being the heir to the merchant’s property.  But the estate owner had many portraits and busts made in his own likeness, and it is quickly obvious to all that Syra looks like a younger, feminine version of the deceased.  The merchant was not all he seemed to have been, and so the real adventure begins after Syra causes this commotion.  A sudden, huge sandstorm rises over the weeping willows and slams into the plantation, with desert horsemen riding in along with it, intent on slaying Syra.

*Campaign Notes:* This adventure can be placed anywhere, as Tiam and Inan could be local powers, and their long battle may only affect a small region.  The adventure should take place in a high fantasy campaign area that includes a nearby port and fertile area bordering desert.  Because of the nature of some monsters and the fact that travelling funds may be required, character levels should be at least level five or higher, with the Dungeon Master increasing the encounter levels to match the party’s abilities.

*Written on a Plaque in the Foyer of the Merchant’s Estate:* “In the days of chaos, there were ignorant men, fearful godlings, and Tiam, the Ever-Hungry.  Tiam could never be sated, for there were fewer and fewer godlings and men to eat as she could not contain her appetite.  But one day, Tiam made a deal with the weakest of godlings, Inan the Trickster.  Inan would become a man and teach them to grow food, hunt, and populate so that one day they would be so numerous they could serve to feed Tiam’s hunger.  Tiam would bind herself to a promise not to eat man or godling until the now mortal Inan would die of old age, and therefore guaranteeing escape from Tiam’s great hunger in reward for this service.  Tiam thought herself clever, for how very short is a man’s life compared to a god.  But the trust was broken by one, and the other was betrayed, and earth and sea shake with the roar of a god’s rage...”

*Adventure:*
The party members will be as surprised by the sand storm and dervishes on horseback as the other assembled notables, though they are in a much better position to defend themselves if they escorted Syra while armed.  The desert horsemen will make their murderous intentions obvious as they hack at those assembled, screaming threats and demanding to know which one is Syra.  The adventurers should realize that their commoner friend is in mortal danger and needs protection.  

Once the initial attack is dealt with, the heroes will hear crying and screaming in the storm-covered line of weeping willows and see one of them being felled.  A second group of raiders is hacking furiously at the base of the protective willows, trying to do as much damage before retreating.  These warriors are accompanied by nature priests/druids maintaining the sand storm and serving as the religious leaders of the tribesmen.  If any of these religious leaders are killed, they will be found wearing holy symbols to Tiam, goddess of chaos.  Likewise, a local knowledge check of moderate difficulty can be used to recognize the attackers as being from a tribe that worships Tiam.

Alert characters will realize that it was the line of trees that were crying out in pain, and if anyone can talk to plants they will find out that the attackers hate them for keeping the desert at bay.  They will also say that the raiders were talking about how sea creatures serving Tiam struck at Inan’s ship at a famously dangerous reef, damaging the vessel fatally, and that it is slowly sinking along with Inan’s property trust, naming Syra his heir.  If no one can speak to plants, the party can question any wounded or captured raiders, who will laugh and brag using the same information.  Finally, a scroll written in strange, aquatic script may also be found on a raider detailing the attack on the ship and its dire situation.

At this point it should be obvious that there is more going on than initially thought, and they are going to have to go after the ship and save its contents.  Syra will also demand to come, knowing that it is not safe to stay behind due to political machinations from those wanting the merchant’s estate and cultists following the order of Tiam to slay her.  Syra is a commoner with low status and few rights, and knows her best chance of survival is with the party despite the danger they are facing.

The party will have to find means of marine transportation and navigation, but when they manage to do so they will find the ship impaled on the infamous reefs and slowly taking in water.  A nearby storm can also be seen in the distance, so whatever the heroes decide to do will have to happen fast.  Days ago, the sahaugin servants of Tiam struck at the same time that a series of huge waves slammed into the ship.  The assailed crew was unable to recover the ship and it eventually crashed into the reefs, though the sahaugin were beaten back by the dying keeper of Inan’s trust.  

When the party arrives, the sahaugin realize that the situation is quickly moving out of their control and they attack both the party and the party’s vessel with magic, spears, and pet sharks.  The heroes will have to fight them off, and then fight through another group of the monsters in order to explore the sinking ship.  Eventually, they will discover the nearly dead Behrain, a water mage and an old friend of Inin.  He will apologize to Syra for his failure to reach her in time and the danger to her this failure caused.  He will speak cryptically about how things seemed a good idea in a past time, how long friends of Inan were able to keep a good bluff going, and Inan having one trick left for the world.  He motions for Syra to open a small, nearby chest.  No healing magic will work on Behrain, and if tried he will smile grimly and tell the heroes that they are witnessing the dying of an era, and such magic will not work on those that helped usher it in.  He also states that Syra’s appointed champions have bested Tiam an both land and sea, and now she must be bested in the place between order and chaos.

Behrain will die and the winds will be whip up in alarming speed, driving the distant, strange storm closer to the sinking ship.  Druids can use their powers to hold it at bay for awhile, but it is clear that the storm is not natural and cannot be pushed back forever.  Any attempt to pick open Behrain’s chest will fail, as it lacks a lock.  However, it will open at Syra’s touch, creating a doorway to another place and whisking Syra and the party away from danger.

The chest is either a doorway to the Beginning of Time or the Beginning of Time is inside the chest.  The Beginning of Time is a place, or a moment, or both.  Whatever the reality, the party finds itself standing at the same place where Inan’s pact with Tiam was made.  Tiam’s physical avatar and Inan’s shade are also present.

It is at this time that Inan meets Syra for the first time and explains that she is talking to his accumulated memories of agriculture and land cultivation, the last remnants of him left as a gift to her.  He had evaded death through old age for as long as his god-like wit and penchant for tricks enabled him to do so, but nothing lasts forever and Tiam’s creeping influence was always going to eventually win out.  But if Syra accepts his accumulated knowledge, a part of his divine spark will live on with her and she will take his place, becoming a demigod and keeping Tiam at bay through the pact agreed upon long ago.  The shade of Inan also explains that it is important that Syra is the one to take up the spark, as she is a commoner without special powers or status and will therefore strive to find more ways to advance civilization and ease the burdens of mankind.

Tiam urges Syra to leave the spark of divinity alone and let it fade into nothingness.  She explains to Syra that Inan might not have broken the law of the pact, but he broke its intent.  Tiam cannot act directly upon the earth until Inan’s divine spark is gone, and man will continue to run roughshod around the world if not culled.  Unless the party intervenes, it should be clear that Syra will decide to help mankind, and bind Tiam once more at the Beginning of Time by taking up her father’s mantle and heralding a new era for the Cities of the Plains.

Tiam won’t take this lightly.  As Syra attempts to absorb the divine spark, Tiam lets out her rage and calls upon beasts made of chaos to attack the party for the third and final encounter.  Once victorious, Tiam will disappear and Syra will return the heroes to the campaign world once more.  It is up to the Dungeon Master whether Syra will take residence at her father’s earthy estate or if she will disappear and lay low to escape Tiam’s machinations while devising new inventions to help the people grow food and find water.  Agriculture and civilization will continue to advance to the benefit of the local populace.

If Syra is killed during the quest or gives up the spark, the land will begin to suffer wild seasonal changes that make it more difficult to plant crops.  The cults of Tiam will grow during this confusion, and heroes will be needed to hold back the encroaching chaos.

Either way, new adventures will beckon.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 17, 2013)

Nicely done, DT.  

[SBLOCK]
I wasn't seeing a way to tie these ingredients together as a D&D adventure -- you've done it well.   
[/SBLOCK]


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 17, 2013)

Radiating Gnome, I had a lot of problems thinking this one over, but wikipedia saved me with this:

"Peking willow is a popular ornamental tree in northern China, and is also grown for wood production and shelterbelts there, being particularly important around the oases of the Gobi Desert, protecting agricultural land from desert winds."

I always wanted to write something that could be used in Al-Qadim.

Yours would be a fun romp and I'd love to play in it.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 17, 2013)

Deuce Traveler said:


> Radiating Gnome, I had a lot of problems thinking this one over, but wikipedia saved me with this:




Awesome. I was on the same Wikipedia page and went down a rabbit hole about the genders of the trees (some varieties are only female) and missed that line entirely.  

-rg


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 17, 2013)

I saw that, too!  I almost went the same way, but I couldn't figure out how to make the trees gender work in the story and gave up on that line of thought.


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## Rune (Jul 18, 2013)

*Round 2, Match 1 Judgement: Wicht vs. Dragonwriter*

Let me start out by saying that this was a very difficult match for me to judge.  I'll get to the reasons for this later.  First, I want to talk a little bit about the rules.  With a 48 hour time-limit, I expect to see more polished entries—entries that have been given extra consideration and extra editing.  Put simply, a 48 hour time-limit is a lot less challenging than a 24 hour time-limit.  To balance this out, there is a word limit, which, in the second round, is 3000 words.  And Dragonwriter's entry, “The Unending Cycle” (henceforth, “Cycle”) clocks in at 3009 words (not including the title or ingredient list _at the beginning_).  I didn't even include the byline in the count.  This is with Open Office, which counts “--” as an individual word (there were five of these), but counts two words separated with a slash as a single word (there were several instances of these).

Dragonwriter said (in the scheduling thread) that the piece clocked in at 2995, but I can't figure out how  how.  I tried very hard to figure out where the extra 14 words came from, but I just can't.  In the end, I have to go with my count.  So, now I get to figure out whether or not those extra 9 words are that critical to the entry.  I guess the reasonable thing to do would be to mentally chop off the last 9 words of the entry.  Fortunately for Dragonwriter, those last 9 words didn't really add anything at all, they were merely part of the formatting used to help me (the judge) navigate the piece.

And, anyway, Wicht didn't exactly follow the rules, either (nor in his first entry).  There was no easy-to-reference list of ingredients at the start of his entries, even though both ingredients-posts specifically asked for one.  But it doesn't really matter.  I bring it up only because we're talking about rules, here.  In the end, I'll call it a wash.  This time.

*Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about ingredients, shall we?*

Wicht's entry, “The Crystals of Monassan,” (henceforth, “Crystals”)  gives us a potential end of A world.  It's an interesting world, though, and, more importantly, it factors heavily into the actual adventure.  “Cycle” has a true *End of the World* and also did something that I was hoping to see—it used the ingredient as a location.  But, as flavorful as this was, it really didn't matter much to the adventure, except as a set-piece and a(n admittedly very interesting) moral dilemma posed at the very end.  If the PCs actually had a way to alter the fate before it happened and/or didn't have a way to make it inconsequential after the end of the adventure, I would have happily given the edge to “Cycle,” but as it is, I can't.

And that brings us to *Unearth*.  In both entries, it is used to represent the type of normal investigative process that one could expect in an adventure.  In the case of “Crystals,” it is more literal, but they are both a bit standard.  In addition, “Cycle” refers to a place as an “Un-earth,” which is exactly the clever kind of interpretation I was hoping the ingredient would invoke.  Unfortunately, that “Un-earth” is simply another name for the first ingredient (the location, that is).  That's a problem.  In order for two ingredients to successfully apply to one thing, _they have to be substantially different in some way!_.

*Diplomatic Immunity* factors in both entries in a similar manner, as well, but favors one adventure over the other.  “Crystals” presents some interesting role-playing opportunities with its murderous ambassador(s).  Meanwhile, “Cycle” once again gives us the hint of a promising scenario by giving the PCs diplomatic immunity—as well as their foe.  And yet, I'm not sure I see the point, as far as the adventure is concerned.  Arkaz doesn't really need it—he will soon be too powerful for it to matter.  And the PCs could get into a lot more trouble without it—which would be a good thing for the adventure.

And, hoo boy, do we have some good stuff with the next ingredient!  “Crystals” gives us not one, but three races powered by artificial intelligence (well, really, two).  These are some interesting and well-thought out cultures—but there _is_ a bit of a problem, here.  The one race that isn't so much an artificial intelligence (the psypossessors) as a dominating intelligence is the one that features in the adventure.  The rest is really just background.  “Cycle” does a much better job with this one.  The coldly logical Arkaz is a great villain (although I would have liked to have seen more actual reasoning in his arguments.  Just saying that something is logical does not necessarily make it so.).  Even better, his logic is flawed—which, in itself, is a kind of artificial intelligence.

And it gets better with the *Wise Fool*.  No, not the Divine Jester in “Cycle”—that character didn't really add very much to the adventure at all.  Arkaz, again, steals the show, here, proceeding on a course that is entirely logical and yet, so very foolish.  It's really almost a theme, at this point, which leads to a nice payoff when the PCs are faced with the decision at the end whether or not they want to play along.  It's like a baton—the title gets to be passed around.

Okay, okay, "wise" isn't exactly the right word here, but I'm willing to let it slide, since “Crystals” has an imposter fool who is cunning, crafty, scheming, and clever, but does not exhibit discernment, judgement, or discretion, nor any special knowledge—except about his foes.  And anyway, the divine fool in "Cycle" actually _is_ wise.

Finally, the *Impossible Dream*.  “Cycle” chooses not to use a literal dream, but, rather, to make the main foe's motive an impossible one to achieve.  Clever, but as much a weakness as a strength, because it doesn't really factor into the adventure at all, until the very end.  And by then, the players may not even realize that it _is_ impossible (or even what the motive _really_ was, to begin with).

“Crystals” gives us an actual dream-world, in a globe.  Impossible!  It gives three impossible trials (which, unfortunately, are all solved in the same manner).  And, more subtly, it also presents themes of class-inequity and strife throughout that echo a certain novel-turned-musical...



Spoiler



So, “Crystals” does a marginally better job with the ingredients, but for some reason, I had a hard time with it.  It's just such a mess!  Much like the second ingredient, reading (and re-reading and re-re-reading) the piece is like an excavation.  Buried in it somewhere are some real gems.

But, Dude!  Most of your entry is background information or information on races and their motives (in other words, more background)!  And most of _that_ is only indirectly relevant to the adventure!  And there really is _a lot_ going on in this adventure on top of all that!  Lots of potential adventure during and lots of hooks to pick up on when it concludes!

What's most heartbreaking, I think, is that, with some more time spent on the entry (_which you had!_), it would have been so much more refined!  It's simply too ambitious in scope for the short amount of time you gave it.  It _felt_ like it was well over the word limit, even though it wasn't.

“Cycle,” in contrast, was a tighter piece and very well-polished.  It was much more pleasurable to read.  The problem is, I don't think it would be as _fun_ as the other to run or play in.  Don't get me wrong, it does look fun (even though it gets fairly linear _and_ heavy-handed in places—including the hook).  But there is so much more going on in “Crystals” that I think I could do more with it—even though it would take much more work to make it work.  Add to that the marginally better ingredients-use...

Dragonwriter, I've really enjoyed your work, thus far.  You're very good at writing for the reader (as opposed to writing just for yourself), which is very much appreciated.  You're clever and creative, which are great qualities for an Iron DM Contestant.  I do think there is room for improvement in two particular areas, however.  You should trust the players (and the DM) a little more.  You have a definite tendency to rely on heavy-handed techniques for progressing the adventure.  Also, you have a tendency to rely on the cleverness of your interpretation to carry your ingredient, which, much as it is appreciated, is not enough.  The ingredients ought to have a tight relationship with each other, but the also (importantly) _need_ to be relevant to the PCs—and in a significant way to the players.

Wicht, for those of you who don't know, is pretty much the definitive “Veteran Iron DM.”  One way or another, he has participated in pretty much _all_ of the EN World Iron DM Tournaments (most often as a contestant).  For this reason, alone, I'm sure he knew immediately that this wasn't his best piece.

But, for all of its flaws, it was fundamentally interesting and well-conceived.  And, of course, used the ingredients to somewhat better effect.  As much as it surprises me (and it does--if I had only read the two entries casually, the verdict would be quite different!) Wicht advances to the Championship Match.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 18, 2013)

Congratulations to the winner, and a very nice review of both entries!


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 18, 2013)

I was looking back at my entry for round 1 and realized I still didn't name it.  Can we call it "Obbins' Wondrously Friendly Home"?


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 18, 2013)

I'll second DT -- well done everyone.  

-rg


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## Dragonwriter (Jul 18, 2013)

Congratulations Wicht! 

It was great fun getting involved this year, and it was a marvelous learning experience. 

I actually hadn't even thought of that interpretation for Wise Fool applied to Arkaz. Which is really so much cooler than the Divine Jester I cooked up.

And thank you for the advice, Rune. It is very much appreciated, especially as I have rather little experience writing up adventures. As a DM, I tend to get a (very) rough idea of things and mostly improv from there. (Plus, my players have tended towards the slow and indecisive end. ) So this was a huge shift for me and I will do everything I can to apply the words of wisdom in the future. Especially since I'm looking forward to next year's competition.


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## Rune (Jul 18, 2013)

Dragonwriter said:


> Congratulations Wicht!
> 
> It was great fun getting involved this year, and it was a marvelous learning experience.




Glad to hear it!



> I actually hadn't even thought of that interpretation for Wise Fool applied to Arkaz. Which is really so much cooler than the Divine Jester I cooked up.




The Divine Jester was actually a more precise fit, but the theme kept popping up.  It couldn't be ignored, even if you weren't actually intending to use it as such.



> And thank you for the advice, Rune. It is very much appreciated, especially as I have rather little experience writing up adventures. As a DM, I tend to get a (very) rough idea of things and mostly improv from there. (Plus, my players have tended towards the slow and indecisive end. )




As do mine.  Some prompting may be necessary, but I try very hard not to start with an idea of where things will go in the first place.  For me, that means open-ended, nearly sandbox structures for adventures.  But, even when I'm using something more defined, I definitely don't want the players to ever feel like they have no choice in a matter.  I don't necessarily mind if they don't _like_ their choices, but that's another topic, altogether...



> So this was a huge shift for me and I will do everything I can to apply the words of wisdom in the future. Especially since I'm looking forward to next year's competition.




Wonderful!  The tournament is enriched by strong contestants like you.


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## Wicht (Jul 18, 2013)

Thank you judge (and ouch).  I will endeavor to take your words to heart for the next and final round. 

Its sorta funny. I know that too much backstory is not good, but I felt justified in it with this one, mainly because I did not think of the race motivation as backstory but as necessary for what I perceived to be a role-playing heavy situation. Nevertheless, admonition received and accepted. 

Well played Dragonwriter, your adventure was very epic, and had it not been so linear, I suspect you would have easily won (though I really like the chryslin idea as well and thank you for your kind words about that particular idea). I look forward to seeing what you can produce in upcoming contests.


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## Rune (Jul 18, 2013)

Wicht said:


> Its sorta funny. I know that too much backstory is not good, but I felt justified in it with this one, mainly because I did not think of the race motivation as backstory but as necessary for what I perceived to be a role-playing heavy situation. Nevertheless, admonition received and accepted.




I would think that having to justify it to yourself should have been a warning sign.  Anyway, I agree that motivation is very important to include for NPCs, but there are more interactive ways to do it.


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## Rune (Jul 19, 2013)

*Round 2, Match 2 Judgement: Deuce Traveler vs. Radiating Gnome*

Jeez, Radiating Gnome!  I can't help but think there's gotta be _some_ way to cut down the length of that block of exposition... 

But nevermind that, right now.  Let's look at the ingredients:

In Deuce Traveler's “Time, Truth and Trust,” (henceforth, “Time”) has a very effective use of the *Weeping Willow* ingredient, using several of them as the focus of one of the (quite exciting) encounters of the piece.  It's good (although the weeping that they do is really just crying out in pain—that could have been a little better).  But, Radiating Gnome's untitled piece (let's just call it “Age of Sorrows” or just “Age” from now on) has such a memorable character for this ingredient—and when she weeps, it is meaningful.

In “Time,” the *Trust* is used as an inheritance—a divine spark that makes for a very interesting MacGuffin—but it _is_ fundamentally still a MacGuffin.  In “Age,” trust is something that the PCs must earn from Stead...and then they must earn it again to undo the first time.  Nifty!

The *Sinking Ship* in “Time” makes for a very interesting encounter location and provides nice contrast with the desert (while still keeping the thematic storm).  “Age” uses the familiar Titanic over and over again as the primary focus of the action.  This was a good decision for brevity—no need to waste space on description, here.  What I'm not quite sure about is...why is the Titanic (or, really, why is Stead) so important to the time-line?  What could Stead have possibly done (had he survived) that would prevent humanity from existing?  I'm sure, if I were a player, that would be the first question I'd ask.  And there's no answer.  I could pretty easily come up with something, but I'd rather not have too in the first place.

The *Beginning of Time* we see in “Age” is a wonderfully flavorful time/place that has strong impact on the whole of the adventure.  In fact, it almost serves as a sort of home-base for the adventure.  On the other hand, “Time” uses the ingredient as a kind of divine meeting-place.  This usage doesn't quite work so well, because, frankly, it doesn't matter at all.  They (the PCs and Syra) don't even get to witness Inan's pact being struck with Tiam, so why call it the Beginning of Time, anyway?  It might be _before_ time, but it's not the beginning.

And, as for *Nobody Special*, “Time” gives us a commoner who becomes divine—a girl who is the inheritor of an important trust.  She's a friend of the PCs (a hook I found to be fairly cumbersome, incidentally) and, hell, she's got a name.  None of this points to her being “nobody special.”  I wasn't really impressed with the use in “Age,” either (simply as someone who gets saved--and then doesn't), but at least it worked.  “Nobody special,” in that context, is pretty much anyone who isn't Stead or the PCs.

Finally, there is the *Unlikely Appointment*.  The unlikely appointment of Syra to divinity in “Time” works well enough, but calling the PCs' protection of her such is stretching it.  Saying that the interruption of a meeting is an unlikely appointment _really_ doesn't work.  In the end, throwing the ingredient around a few times and seeing what sticks only dilutes the impact of the only actually decent use of it.  An ingredient can be successfully used in a recurring manner, _if_ it is being used to illustrate a thematic foundation of the entry.  That is certainly not what we've got here.  In contrast, “Age,” uses the ingredient only once, as a _very_ intriguing hook—one that would be very difficult to pass by.  It is potent and _immediately_ relevant to the adventure and the PCs.

_And then there's the rest:_

“Time” is a well-constructed and exciting adventure—simple enough to run easily, but open-ended enough (throughout) to feel large in scope.  “Age” is, underneath its complexity, actually pretty linear—but linear isn't necessarily a bad thing.  The clever structure pretty much requires a certain bit of it and “Age” does it in a manner that may not even be noticed by the players.  There is one part (previously unmentioned) that could have used some clarification: the shadowy figures that the PCs fight in the first place are presumably the future PCs (that's clever), but the adventure doesn't even allude to that until much later.  A little bit of clarity would help the DM a great deal, here.



Spoiler



Deuce Traveler, your adventure is really good.  Maybe not quite as good as your round 1 entry, but still, one that I definitely want to run.  This is the part where I give advice for future tournaments, but, there's really no reason to give Deuce any.  He's the defending champion for a reason; he's good at this.

But the nature of this tournament is that, sometimes, your good stuff goes up against someone's _great_ stuff.  And that's what Radiating Gnome delivered.  While it may not be perfect, this piece has so much brilliance in it, it's really hard to quibble.  It's ingredients are superior and the adventure, itself, is one that the players would probably never forget.  Radiating Gnome knocks out the defending IRON DM and advances to the championship round.


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## Deuce Traveler (Jul 19, 2013)

Good luck to those in the final round and thanks to the referee!


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 19, 2013)

Rune said:


> Jeez, Radiating Gnome!  I can't help but think there's gotta be _some_ way to cut down the length of that block of exposition...




Ha. Smartass.  I deserved that. 

Actually, I was feeling really smug when I started writing my entry - "I'm going to jump right in and skip over any sort of backstory -- it's not necessary" then I realized I'd just moved backstory into the damn exposition that Cringle gives.  So, I figured, what the hell, label it what it is (exposition) and move on from there.  

Had I been writing for HBO, someone would have been having sex while you read that part. 

As I did last time, I wrote a reflection on writing the entry after I posted, but before seeing the judgement. Here's how that went:

[SBLOCK]
I found this batch of ingredients incredibly frustrating.  

Weeping Willow and Sinking Ship seemed very cool, easy to tie together.  Trust is vague, but that leaves a lot of room.  Beginning of Time seems to force a time travel adventure, which I tend to dislike handful of reasons.  And unlikely Appointment is a weird one open to a lot of interpretations. 

But "nobody special".  That one's pure evil. 

I mean, think about it.  Lots of our stories are about "everyman" and "John Q Public" -- at least at the start -- but those stories tend to be about how that person rises to the occasion, how they BECOME someone special -- which means they're not really nobody special at all, just someone who's special-ness hasn't been revealed yet. 

So, how do you work with nobody special? How do you keep that someone not special at all -- they don't get a name,they don't become something special, they could be anyone? 

F***ed if I know. 

The other thing that struck me about this batch of ingredients was that it really didn't feel like a D&D adventure to me. Time, trees, sinking ships….these are all elements that really were tugging me in another direction.

So, I spent a bunch of time thinking about how to try to connect things.  The Willow and beginning of time…. that seemed like a natural connection, somehow.  I knew time travel was going to have to be part of it, but one thing I really did not want to do with this adventure is create one of my pet peeve Iron DM tropes -- the travelogue adventure through ingredients connected by magical travel.  

What I mean is this -- it's not unusual to see an Iron DM entry that uses some sort of magical travel -- time travel, extra planar travel, whatever -- to string together three totally weird and unrelated scenes that just happen to cover the difficult ingredients for the contest.  I felt the ingredients, with the influence of time travel, trying to pull me into that trope, setting up one sinking ship as one scene, one that led to trust somehow, another that led to a willow tree.  Boom, dust off your hands, and you're done.  Meh.  

So, I started trying to force some more organic links between elements.  Like I said, trees and time connect pretty well for me. The specific of the Weeping Willow put me onto Sorrow as a theme to play out.  Of course, the Titanic fits that pretty well.  The throwaway joke about Lovecraft's elder gods and tentacled horrors being blurry images of the willow tree amused me, and I left it in.  

So… the tree is somehow at the beginning of time, and it's setting the tone for the age because it's a weeping willow. It's a tree of sorrow, and that's why we have troubles, blah blah blah.  I'm on the hunt now.  

The idea of trees and time brought me Santa Claus (Chris Cringle) as the servant of the Evergreen trees and their ideas about how time and reality should be ordered. At first, his intentions were good and sincere -- ending the age of sorrow would put another tree on top and things would be better for humanity.  

Of course, that got stuck in my head pretty quickly -- like "nobody special", the idea of ending sorrow has all kinds of consequences when you lay it out.  Without sorrow or need or pain or difficulty, we would never be driven to achieve or improve. So, the idea that the Age of Sorrow is the Age of Man got fleshed out a little bit.  

And then, I was left looking at my desire to NOT have a travelogue. The players needed to go to one place, and somehow that one thing they did would change everything.  

So, as I often do when I'm stuck, I start browsing around on Wikipedia. I've still got the "nobody special" thing rattling around, not sure what to do with, and I start looking at all the "special" people who died on the titanic. I start looking for someone special in the list of passengers whose survival might have been a very good thing -- someone whose good works ended because he or she died when the ship went down. Reading about Stead cemented that one for me. He was very special, and yet behaved very selflessly and honorably, and died for it. 

He, of course, was just one man, but as a symbol, he could mean everything.  

So, I started piecing things together. 

Looking at my use of ingredients…..*unlikely appointment* may be sort of weak, tacked on as the hook.  I talked myself into settling for that -- you're never going to get everything just right, especially on a list of ingredients this hard. *Weeping willow* is pretty good -- it's a tree, it's important, and it's specifically important as what it is -- a symbol of sorrow. *Sinking Ship* is absolutely covered.  Beginning of time is workable.  *Trust* -- the Pcs have to win Stead's trust twice. Could get dinged there.  *Nobody Special* -- that nobody is not really keyed in the adventure --it's anyone nameless, available on the scene.  I could get dinged there, too, but I think I did well with it -- once you name and describe the person, they start to become special.  

 And, as a final note, lets talk for a minute about editing.  My entry -- coming in under the word count limit -- didn't get the rigorous comb-through it usually gets, and you can totally see it.  This, alone, should cost me dearly: 

"They find the elderly Chinese woman sitting beneath the tree, crying.  She greets them with a weak smile, and they turn and see the grove of pine trees is dead. Nearby, the grove of pine trees is a charred, dead wreck. There are signs of the wounds given to Cringle and his allies on the trees there.  All of the trees there are clearly dead, and as the players watch they turn to ash and blow away. "

_But, wait, there were dead trees?  Where?_[/SBLOCK]

Thanks to DeuceTraveller -- his excellent entry proves that all that stuff I couldn't see a good way to do was totally doable.  By my entry had more Santa, I guess, and everyone loves Christmas. 

-j


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## Wicht (Jul 19, 2013)

Radiating Gnome said:


> _But, wait, there were dead trees?  Where?_




At least we know the dead trees were neither tarrying nor running; neither singing loudly nor joking.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 19, 2013)

You'll pay for that....  

<sharpens pencil>

<blows shavings onto floor>

<feels guilty, looks around, then cleans up the big pieces>

<sits back down>

Ready!


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## Wicht (Jul 19, 2013)

Likewise Ready...

Now we just need ingredients...
  [MENTION=67]Rune[/MENTION]?


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## Rune (Jul 19, 2013)

*Championship Match: Wicht vs. Radiating Gnome*

[MENTION=221]Wicht[/MENTION] and   [MENTION=150]Radiating Gnome[/MENTION], you have *48 hours* to post your entries to this thread.  Please limit your entry to *2000* words.  Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted.  Neither the list of ingredients at the beginning of your entry, nor the title, will count against this limit, _but everything else (*including any definitions or descriptions of your ingredients that you may wish to include*) will!_  Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own.  You are on your honor to do so.

*Your ingredients are:

Anachronism

Successful Enterprise

Figment

Insufferable Ally

Something Wicked

Singularity*


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## Wicht (Jul 19, 2013)

Got them... pondering will begin shortly.


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## Rune (Jul 20, 2013)

While we're waiting, would either of the other Round 2 contestants like to tell us about their creative processes for those entries?


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## Dragonwriter (Jul 20, 2013)

Rune said:


> While we're waiting, would either of the other Round 2 contestants like to tell us about their creative processes for those entries?




Sure. 

While last round was pretty quick in how I managed to think something up, this set had me puzzled.

The really troublesome ones for me were Diplomatic Immunity and Impossible Dream. Impossible Dream is, of course, easily a thematic element, but how do you use it and make it really impossible? It ended up becoming motivation for the bad guy, but that came about later. Diplomatic Immunity was just a pain. It seemed there was not much in the way of making it really interesting to the adventure, particularly with the state of the other ingredients.

Over a few hours at work, I got to thinking about an Artificial Intelligence and how it might interact with things, especially with regard to the “natural order” and the divine. Being artificial, there really wouldn’t be a place for it among nature or the creations of the various deities. The other part of the AI bit that stuck out to me was the idea that, however advanced it was, it would still be similar to a computer and thus governed by certain rules. The most prominent of those rules, for a thinking machine, would likely be logic. And over the many, many years of its existence, it would witness the numerous holy wars instigated by all manner of gods, followed by the mass deaths of the mortals following them. Coming to hate this pointless order of things would drive it to cause the End of the World so as to kill the gods to fulfill an Impossible Dream. The dream’s impossibility is because, largely due to the nature of how the divine seems to work in D&D, mortals will ascribe power to various things and then believe them to be gods, thus fueling the creation of gods with their worship. And with the AI’s plan to rebuild the world free of gods, the new mortals would be confronted with this nigh-indestructible, impossibly powerful mechanical creation that was clearly bigger and stronger than they were and capable of performing what would seem like miracles. Sounds like a clear recipe for immediate worship, especially from a primitive people.
I think I ended up kinda going for a fanatic-style Shockwave (from Transformers, particularly the new material in the Fall of Cybertron game and the Prime TV show, as I really haven't had much experience with him in Gen1).

I settled on using Unearth both in its standard definitions (literally digging or figuratively doing so to uncover evidence) and as a quick name for the engine created by Arkaz to allow him to remake the world. Had I had more words, I would have gone into a better explanation of the place. 

Diplomatic Immunity finally came around as the concealment used by Arkaz as it made rounds of the planes, weakening the gods. The idea was, “Arkaz did it? You can’t be serious. It came here under banner of diplomacy and wouldn’t threaten relations like this. It must be caused by someone else,” would be the sort of reaction to anyone suspecting Arkaz. And to make the PCs interact with it a bit (and hey, they could throw a little weight around some godly courts), I decided to offer it to them, too.

I came up with Harleckee as an additional sort of visitor to the various divine realms. I thought it was an okay use, but I wasn’t thrilled with him. Mainly it was a way to use the ingredient and provide some hints/clues to the PCs. And like I said before, I hadn’t even thought of Wise Fool applying to Arkaz, which is a far better interpretation of the ingredient.

With those building blocks, I came up with some events to set things in motion, things for the PCs to interact with and handle (I would have really liked to highlight more of the strife happening on the Material Plane), and a work-up of events. It took a while, and I honestly wasn’t thrilled with the result. My previous entry seemed to ooze (if you’ll pardon the little joke) style, while this one seemed more flat. It didn’t help that I wasn’t really pleased with my own use of a few of the ingredients. 

When I had finished writing it up, I stepped away for a bit. I came back to try to edit and tweak things, but I just couldn’t find anywhere I could feasibly do so while maintaining the adventure. And at that point, there was no way I was going to cut and rework large portions of it, however much it turned out I should have. 

By the way, curse you, limited word count! 

Regardless, I did have fun during all this. If anyone reading this is on the fence about whether to sign up next year, I say to go for it. The competition is amazing for making you think and write quickly, while also making you throw together some really weird and engaging stuff.


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## Wicht (Jul 20, 2013)

*Anachronism
Successful Enterprise
Figment
Insufferable Ally
Something Wicked
Singularity *


*The Luck of the Mighty* 
_a PFRPG adventure_

*Background:  *
In the very beginning, one of the gods, left a small piece of highly condensed space and time on the material plan. This piece of ultramatter, shaped like a small red stone, by its very nature, bent time and space around it so that all events, people and places in its vicinity, stretching from the beginning of time to the end, potentially coexisted at the same intersection of reality. This piece of ultramatter is known as the Actuality Hook. Though mostly harmless on its own, the Actuality Hook, in the hands of a powerful mind, can be used to transport things and people across time and space. 

Two Thousand years ago, the wizard-lord Vonshpin unleashed three beings of pure malicious thought out into the world. One of these psypossessors took over the body of an infant gold dragon and has lived for all of that time in that body. This dragon, known as Raxkalmon the Mighty, rules as supreme tyrant of the Jungle Kingdom of Lakxan, Though many give him the benefit of the doubt due to his heritage and the general reputation of gold dragons, it has long been suspected that he is capable of great acts of deception and cruelty. The palace of Raxkalmon is called the Morphic Palace and lies half in and half out of the Plane of Dreams. Moreover, for many years, Raxkalmon has had possession of the Actuality Hook, keeping it in the depths of his palace and using it to draw forth subjects from both past and future. 

Twenty-seven years ago, Levortin “Levo” Goldmanse VII was born, the seventh son sired from a line of six other seventh sons. At his birth, the god of the hunt blessed young Levo with the perfect hunter's eye and the god of luck blessed the child with the best luck in the world. However, the god of misfortune, after the other two had spoken, decreed that should Levo ever lose an archery contest, his fortunes would turn. In the years since, Levo has become rather renowned as a rather lucky sort of hero, able to perform the most fantastic feats of archery.

One year ago, the ruins of ancient Monassan were discovered east of the city of Hillsfold, setting in motion a chain of events; one of which was decision by Raxkalmon the Mighty to send an army of his subjects northward, with the goal of marching across the Kingdom and capturing Hillsfold, so as to claim the untold treasures still buried in the wizards' ancient city. The army has just reached the borders to the south and rumors of war are beginning to filter through the country.

*Adventure Summary:*
The PCs, who it is expected, are the most renowned heroes in Hillsfold by this time, are invited by one of the city council to enter into a contest with the Kingdom's best archer. The archer's name is Levortin”Levo to his friends,” Goldmanse VII, and he is in town because the King wants him to meet with the PCs. The archery contest, which the PCs have no real chance of winning, allows them to meet Levortin “Everyone just calls me Levo” Goldmanse VII, who seems like a likeable individual, although he's a little full of his abilities (albeit with reason).

Following the contest, Levo, the PCs and several dignitaries, including Bishop Alzarn, a native of Hillsfold, and Grand Celestial Clergy of the King's Own, meet in a secure room. The PCs learn the truth of the war that is coming, and the fact that while many of the soldiers of Raxkalmon use conventional weapons, indeed some use weapons quite archaic in their design, others are armed with such mighty weapons that the world has rarely seen their like. The King's Own has decided that the best course of action is to send a small squad into the dragon's Morphic Palace in the southern jungles and end the war at the source. Divination about the palace is hard to come by, yet the gods have revealed two facts: the dragon who is not a dragon must be slain by a sword that is not a sword, and, the anchor of reality must be undone by a single perfect shot. Based on these foretellings, research has been done, and a plan has been made. The PCs are asked to escort Levortin “no really, Levo will do nicely,” westward to the city of Baskue where the Monks of Irskbin will deliver into his hands a perfect arrow capable of shattering the Actuality Hook, which s in the dragon's control. From there they must journey to the Port of Demarn where the church has gathered a contingent of thirty powerful clerics to fashion a deadly piece of negative energy into the outward form of a sword. Each of these two weapons is useable once. With weapons in hand they will need to sneak into the dragon's palace, strike the dragon with the sword, and shatter the Actuality Hook with a perfect shot using the Perfect Arrow. The PCs and Levortin “Stick with me and it'll all work out” Goldmanse VII are asked to take the King's Oath before beginning: to see the deed done, to be true to one another, protecting one another against all foes. The Kings Oath functions like a self-inflicted _geas_ (no save). 

The trip to Baskue goes smoothly until the party is attacked by a large group of soldiers affiliated with Raxkalmon. The attackers speak in a dead language to each other and are armed with weapons bearing a design from an empire 4000 years in the past. In the attack, the party gets to witness Levortin “It just come's natural to me I guess” Goldmanse VII's incredible luck and unbelievable skill with the bow. Mechanically, Levortin “Do you want a few pointer's” Goldmanse VII's is a fighter with feats and abilities all oriented towards archery. He also has two singular, god-given advantages. He is under a permanent (for now) _True Strike_ effect whenever he uses a bow, granting him +20 to all archery shots, in addition to his other bonuses. He is also the luckiest man in the world. Whenever he needs to roll a d20, he rolls three d20s and chooses the best result. While he's not necessarily a proud man (“I have been blessed in life,”) he can be a bit condescending and his constant cheerfulness tends to grate after awhile. The PCs should be ready to knock him down a peg or two by the time they leave Baskue with Levortin “I should be the one to carry that,” Goldmanse VII now in possession of the Perfect Arrow. 

A second attack occurs on the way to Demarn. This attack features a small group of strangely dressed individuals armed with weapons of steel and glass which fire beams of light. The weapons are mechanical, not magical, and they do not work for anyone but their original owners. While in Demarn, the party must wait for a few days as the “Sword of Darkness” is finished. Certain of the PCs are approached by a man named Leon Talstiv, who has a method of besting Levortin “I never miss” Goldmanse VII in an archery contest. The method is slightly underhanded, involving some minor illusion magic, a really powerful enchanted arrows, and a set of complex and powerful enchantments on the archer. Leon is hoping to clean up by betting against the Kingdom's best archer and winning. Whether or not the PCs agree to help, Leon arranges his contest and talks Levortin “tricks will never work against me” Goldmanse VII into competing. Surprisingly, Leon's plan works and Levortin “I lost!” Goldmanse VII loses his first archery contest ever. 

Losing the contest irrevocably changes Levortin “What happened?” Goldmanse VII's fortunes. His _true strike[/] effect is gone and now, whenever he makes a d20 roll, he rolls three dice and chooses the lowest. Furthermore, his poor luck is catching. Whenever he rolls a 1, he inflicts bad luck on all allies within 30 feet so that they must themselves, for 1 round, roll 2 dice for all d20 rolls and choose the lowest roll.

It is likely the party does not realize the full extent of their problem until after they obtain their next weapon and teleport themselves to the backdoor of the dragon's Morphic Palace.

The palace itself is a mixture of reality, dreams and illusions. Much of the reality is trapped; the traps being masked by illusions and hidden behind shifting dreamscapes. This makes navigation through the palace difficult, and all the more so when considering the presence of Levortin “Sorry, didn't mean to hit you with that shot” Goldmanse VII's bad luck. Unfortunately the terms of their Oath prevents the PCs from abandoning their companion until after the deed is done. 

In addition to the challenges posed by the changing nature of the palace and the many traps, the castle houses elite soldiers from the past and the future, drawn into the present by the power of the Actuality Hook. While the soldiers from the past are more numerous, and something of an oddity from a scholarly perspective, the soldiers from the future are armed with powerful weapons from a variety of time periods. Some of these are magical; others are mechanical in nature, such as guns, flamethrowers and lasers.

Finally, after many fights and dangers, the party enters into the chamber where the dragon resides. To kill the dragon they must simply strike it forcefully with the sword, assuming they have not already used the sword. The sword will totally unmake a single creature with a single attack, but can only be used once. Attacking the dragon is harder due to the dragon's minions which attempt to prevent the party from closing in. The Actuality Hook floats in the center of the room and has an AC of 40. The perfect arrow, if it strikes it forcefully, will shatter it. All other attacks fail. Naturally the party should not let Levortin “I can't hit anything anymore” Goldmanse VII use the arrow, but he will attempt to fight next to them, with mixed results. If the party destroys the Actuality Hook but not the dragon, the dragon's minions fade away into nothingness. If they destroy the dragon, but not the Hook, the armies remain but are now leaderless. If both are destroyed, the threat is done and the party can return in total victory. 


*Anachronism* Raxkalmon the Mighty's army  is comprised of people from the past and future

*Successful Enterprise*  Leon Talstiv, a semi-shady gambler, concocts a scheme, successful in its implication, to have Levortin Goldmanse VII lose an archery match. 

*Figment *The Morphic Palace of Raxkalmon the Mighty, draws power from the plane of dreams, bending reality and unreality. Also, the sword forged to kill Raxkalmon is not really a sword, but a piece of negative energy imposed upon the material plane in the illusory shape of a sword. 

*Insufferable Ally* Levortin Goldmanse VII is not a bad person, but he is a bit hard to live with

*Something Wicked* *Raxkalmon the Mighty, a two thousand year old Gold Dragon is possessed by one of the three psypossessors created by the wizard-lord Vonshpin in ancient Monassan and is quite wicked. *

*Singularity  **Levortin Goldmanse VII is a singular, utterly unique individual, blessed and cursed by the gods. At the same time, the Actuality Hook provides a point of singularity at which all events in time and space within its vicinity potentially interconnect.*_


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 21, 2013)

*Something Wicked Comes to Mars*

Anachronism
Successful Enterprise
Figment
Insufferable Ally
Something Wicked
Singularity

*System*

Any system which provides for multiple settings/times (so 3.5e D&D/D20 Modern/D20 Future; FATE, Savage Worlds, GURPS, etc).

*Setup *

This adventure is written as a one-shot, ideally at a convention or other setting where multiple tables are playing. This writeup with present the two table version. (Additional tables could be added if word count allowed.)  

The slot is promoted and signed up as two different games, one called "Something Wicked Comes Back" and another called "Dinosaur Safari." 

During the course of the session, the two tables will be mixed, then at the end they will join together for the final battle.



*Dinosaur Safari Intro*

This adventure starts with a team of steampunk/victorian era hunters and tourists preparing to go on a time-travel-empowered safari to hunt dinosaur. The PC's arrive, meet their guide, and set off through the time machine to the age of dinosaurs. 

Shortly after their arrival, they are beset by a pack of raptors and it becomes clear the encounter will turn deadly very quickly. 

*Carapace Clavicle Moundshroud to the Rescue*

A strange kite blows into the scene -- stitched together from many different bits of cloth, each one decorated with an open, fanged mouth.  Riding it - tied to it's tail, is a skinny, bald, pale. In a grating voice (Leonard Nimoy doing a Gollum impression), he calls out to the group "Quickly, grab onto the tail, I'll get you out of here!"

Anyone who fails to grab on is killed by raptors. 


*Something Wicked Comes Back Intro*

The adventurers start as people attending a traveling carnival. They are investigators asked to check out the carnival because young African American kids have apparently been going missing.  

They arrive, start asking around, and find themselves cornered, surrounded by clansman and evil carnies -- too many of them -- who seem bent on killing them. 

*Carapace Clavicle Moundshroud to the Rescue*

A strange kite blows into the scene -- stitched together from many different bits of cloth, each one decorated with an open, fanged mouth.  Riding it - tied to it's tail, is a skinny, bald, pale. In a grating voice (Leonard Nimoy doing a Gollum impression), he calls out to the group "Quickly, grab onto the tail, I'll get you out of here!"

Anyone who fails to grab on is killed by clansmen.  




Once they've grabbed on, they are whisked off into the sky -- in a swirling wind littered with autumn leaves.  Yelling, Moundshroud introduces explains to them that their services are needed elsewhere in time.  Oh, yes, and on _Mars_.  

*The Real Exposition *

They are traveling to Mars in the year 2085. The red planet has been colonized for ten years, and the settlements are growing strong, thanks to an incredibly powerful powerplant called Bradbury Station, which is powered by a tiny quantum singularity. 

The Singularity provides so much power, and is so stable, there has been unlimited power for the colonists, and as a result, the company that created it built a holographic amusement park around it (as a Star Trek Holodeck), also called Bradbury Station, and celebrating the works of it's namesake, Ray Bradbury. 

Bradbury Station is a huge success. The quantum singularity at the heart of the plant provides more power than the entire mars colony can use, and the colonists love the park, in part because it lets them visit memories of lives back on earth. 

However the power source is not benign. It's more than just a power source, it's a means for creating passages in Spacetime. The builders only discovered the ability of the singularity to create passages through spacetime when the singularity inadvertently became a portal to an extra dimensional prison containing a demonic presence. The Presence came through from the other side and infested the park -- turning the attractions against the people within the park. 

The park is now sealed off. 

The park administrators are now using the portal to find help, with the help of the Artificial Intelligence that runs the park and controls most of the holo animations -- those that have not been possessed by the presence. 

Moundshroud himself is a animated figment, a character from a book called The Halloween Tree. He will be their guide, and the voice of the AI.  

*Navigating in the Park*

The amusement park is like disney world, but dedicated to bringing the works of Ray Bradbury to life. There are areas dedicated to his major settings -- Mars (the version he imagined), many locations named for stories that are variations of early 20th century earth, etc. 

At this point there are two groups, each riding in on a kite with their own version of Moundshroud. On the way in, the two vortexes bearing the kites collide, and  the groups see each other. Then the kites veer too close to each other, and the tails get tangled. When they pull apart again, the two parties have been re-shuffled.  (Roll randomly and send half of the players from each table to the other table, even those whose characters didn't make it out of the first encounter). 

*Replacements (Only if some PCs didn't make it out of the first encounter)*

As the PCs are getting their bearings, slim figures approach from the "Bradbury's Mars" part of the park (one for each missing pc). When they arrive, they look into the eyes of characters who had originally been with the missing character, then shapeshift into that character. 

The players of the dead PCs then take over again, and continue to play as if they'd survived the first encounter, with one change: As an action, the shapeshifter can become any other party member who has died (either in first encounter or since).  

*The Opposition*

They are pursued by the Illustrated Man and a team of Firemen. In each location the Illustrated Man animates a different set of tattoos that bound out and challenge the PCs.  Some are beasts (lions, wolves), others are human but just as deadly (serial killers, etc). These threats are backed up by Firemen.

The Illustrated Man is the primary avatar of the Presence (though, if defeated, he'll be back in the next scene). In each location the Illustrated Man animates a different set of tattoos that bound out and challenge the PCs.  Some are beasts (lions, wolves), others are human but just as deadly (serial killers, etc). These threats are backed up by Firemen.

The Firemen are soldiers with flamethrowers.  They especially like to burn anyone carrying books or paper of any kind. 


*The Ingredients*

The two parties must gather four of five ingredients, then meet at the carousel for the final battle. 

Moundshroud describes the five available items they could gather. They must have the wine, because that's what will drive the evil presence out of the Singularity. But, with two versions of MoundShroud, the two parties will be able to collect three other relics.

The Relics are: Dandelion Wine (required), Fog Horn, Scythe, Insinkerator, Golden Kite. They' won't be able to get all five, so they'll have to decide who goes after which relic. Moundshround can tell them what the rough date and location of the relic is (the setting of the story it's being taken from) but little more. 


Dandelions Wine (From Green Town -- the early 20th century midwestern town that was the setting of many of Bradbury's stories) -- One team of PCs must travel to the town of Green Town to retrieve the Dandelion Wine from the Spaulding family -- the grandfather bottles it during the summer. The Illustrated Man and Firemen follow the PCs through and challenge them in the streets of this town while they recover the wine. 
"The Fog Horn" (Mid 20th Century Maine Coast)- Fight a sea monster, a huge Kraken bring back the Fog Horn - Here the PCs must face a sea monster that is in the process of destroying a lighthouse -- once the Kraken is defeated the horn can be recovered and the PCs can return
The Scythe  (From Early 20th century Kansas farm country)- A poor farmhouse in the middle of kansas.  The PCs must recover a Scythe from the farmer. The Illustrated man, again
The Murderer's Insinkerator (Early 21st Century American City) - travel to a near future world to recover the garbage disposal of a man who is currently in an institution, after having destroyed all of his devices (computers, phones, radios, etc) with his garbage disposal. 
The Golden Kite (Medieval China) -- Travel to ancient china to recover a kite -- actually a town wall in the shape of a kite. A section of the wall will do.  



Moundshroud travels with both parties, serving as their guide & communicator between the two groups, and as a sort of greek chorus, narrating the action in his horrible, broken voice. He's quick to point out faults and report that the other group is doing far better. 

*The Final Battle *

Once each party completes the second encounter, they make their way to the carousel at the heart of the park.  The singularity -- a remarkably small power source, is housed in the control room at the center of the carousel. Gaining access means fighting their way to that control room, working through mechanical and digital security.  

The two parties arrive at either end of the large open square that holds the carousel, where the Illustrated Man & his pets, as well as plenty more Firemen, are there to keep the PCs away from the singularity.  There is no shortage of opponents, who keep being replaced when they are destroyed, so the PCs will need to use their recovered items and tactics to succeed. The horses on the carousel itself are animate and make the challenge of making it through to the center difficult.

The challenge in this encounter is to deliver the Dandelion wine to the center of the carousel - inside the control panes there is the singularity.  



*The Fog Horn* can be used to draw all enemies towards it (it takes an action to operate the horn -- after it has been operated, every non-PC creature on the board must move towards the fog horn on it's turn. 
The *Scythe *can be used to Strike down living opponents 
The *Insinkerator *can be used to destroy robots, devices, and machines (including the horses on the carousel).  
The *Kite *will carry two adjacent characters to any spot on the map as an action. 



The two parties start on opposite sides of a large map, with the structure holding the Singularity at the center. Getting to it will require reaching the superstructure, opening the shields and dampeners that contain it, then going in to use the wine

*Aftermath*

Once the Dandelion Wine has been used on the singularity the Presence will be expelled from Mars and it's influence over the park is removed.  Moundshroud can return the PCs to their own time and place, and Bradbury Station can go back to powering and entertaining the Mars Colony.

*Ingredient Use*

*Anachronism  *- The player characters are actually pulled out of different times (actually stories) and don't belong in the time they're operating in. 
*Successful Enterprise* - The powerplant and amusement park on mars, Bradbury Station.
*Figment *- The Illustrated Man, and the tattoo-summoned creatures it calls forth are the imaginary figments of the evil Presence
*Insufferable Ally* - Carapace Clavicle MoundShroud, the PCs guide through the adventure.
*Something Wicked* - The Presence/The Illustrated Man
*Singularity *- The power source at the center of the amusement park -- and also the gate to the Presence's Prison


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## Rune (Jul 23, 2013)

*Championship Match Judgement: Wicht vs. Radiating Gnome*

Oh boy.  This is going to be a close one.  It appears as if I find myself faced with the age-old IRON DM dilemma—whether to rule in favor of the superior ingredients use, or the better adventure.  To make it more difficult, both entries are actually really close in both categories.

_I'll start with the ingredients:_

In Wicht's piece, “The Luck of the Mighty,” (henceforth, “Luck”) the *Anachronism*, or, rather, anachronisms, manifest themselves as armies of the dragon-villain.  Warriors of the past—and the future.  Other than to add flavor to the adventure, this seems not to be that important to the adventure, however.  If the armies were anything else, it would play out just the same.  This is doubly regrettable, because it actually seems to weaken the significance of the Actuality Hook, which _could_ have been an interesting focus for the adventure.  Radiating Gnome's “Something Wicked Comes to Mars” (henceforth, “Something”) does a much better job with this ingredient.  In this case, the _PCs_ are the anachronisms—a far more compelling use!

The *Successful Enterprise* in “Something” is far less compelling.  It makes for great scenery (and plays in with the carnival setting that the title implies).  But, in the end, it's really only scenery.  “Luck” manages something more potent, if far less predominant.  The successful enterprise of the cheating gambler, Leon Talstiv, is but a small section of the adventure, but it changes _everything_.  The only problem here—and it's a big one—is that it's set up to be inevitable.  I think the scenario would play much better if the PCs actually had a chance of foiling it.

In “Luck,” we are presented with not just one *Figment*, but a choice of one and a palace full of them.  While flavorful, the importance of the Morphic Palace is really only atmospheric.  Don't get me wrong—it's great atmosphere—but, again, really just scenery.  And calling a sword made of negative energy a figment is a stretch—although, because it's _negative_ energy (void?), I can see it.  In the end, though, the ingredient suffers from being stretched too far.  It's not a thematic ingredient, so I suppose I'm meant to pick whichever one I like best.

“Something” gets around this by actually making it a thematic ingredient.  And, in a rather clever—if gimmicky way.  Yes, there's the Illustrated Man and his tattoos.  There's Moundshroud and the amusement park, itself.  These are mere echoes of the whole adventure, however.  The unusual convention scenario is a bit of a gamble, but, I can see it being pulled off successfully—trick the players into thinking  they are playing two separate games (a meta-figment, if you will).  Mix them up, split them up again, then combine them at the end.  It could work.

Regrettably, “Something” doesn't quite pull off the *Insufferable Ally*.  First of all, I'm really not sure how Moundshroud qualifies as an ally—aside from serving as a _deus ex machina_ in the early (split) scenarios, he mostly just spectates and taunts the players.  I don't even get a sense of just how he is insufferable—we definitely needed to be _shown_ more.  In this sense, he is _infuriating_, but not necessarily insufferable.

Meanwhile, “Luck” shows off it's strongest ingredient, here.  Levortin “I really love how his name is used to convey his character” Goldmanse VII comes off as truly insufferable ally throughout the entire adventure, first as an incredibly annoying super-NPC, and then as a total liability.  Brilliant!  That's one great character!

...Which brings us to the uninspired, *Something Wicked* in “Luck.”  Okay, it is interesting that the villain is one of the psypossessors alluded to in Wicht's round 2 entry (in case you all didn't notice, all three of his entries form a sort of short adventure-path).  The thing is, this one isn't given nearly enough attention to feel fleshed out and interesting.  Even it's motivation seems kind of weak.

On the other hand, “Something” takes the ingredient and runs with it.  I find it interesting that the piece went so thoroughly toward Bradbury, rather than Shakespeare, with its inspiration.  As a villain, though, the Illustrated Man in this entry is not well enough defined—neither in personality, nor motivation—to really qualify as interesting.  I find this particularly strange, given that hewing a little closer to the thematic elements of the inspiring source material actually could have helped.  Ultimately, there's a lot of homage, but it isn't tied together well enough to feel more than superficially thematic and the ingredient—which is meant as a theme for the entire piece, suffers for it.

And then, there's the *Singularity*.  In “Something,” it is used as a power-source for the amusement park that also doubles as the means of transporting the PCs through time and space on their grand scavenger hunt.  This usage works.  In “Luck,” it is similarly used as the Actuality Hook—the means through which the dragon amasses a needlessly anachronistic army.  This usage is fairly weak—but it's really more of a throw-away, anyway.  There _is_ a singularity that is the focal point of the entire adventure (really, the main challenge of the entire adventure)--and that, of course, is the gods-blessed (and cursed) Levortin “Seriously, this is a brilliantly efficient way to convey personality” Goldmanse VII.

So, that's it.  The ingredients in “Luck” are, in general, a little more cleverly implemented, a little more tightly interwoven, and a little more inspired than those in “Something.”  The adventure is a little linear (on its surface), but looks fun.  Meanwhile, “Something” has a very creative approach to the structure of the adventure—and looks like it could be a ton of fun, in a _Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure_ kind of way.



Spoiler



I like it.  But it's not enough.  It's just far too sloppy—really, unfinished.  I feel like the ideas in it could really have shaped up into something special, but the entry really _needed_ another pass of editing.  There are sections that are incomplete, a lot of the really good ideas are under-developed (like the hooks; they really should involved some PC decision), and details that would help the DM run what could be a challenging setup are often lacking.  It feels rushed.  Frankly, I think this entry was just a little bit too ambitious and it didn't quite work.

Radiating Gnome, you know your stuff—and your continual willingness to push the boundaries of what an entry can and should be is commendable.  Your skill at doing so is remarkable.  But, the thing about taking risks is, sometimes they don't work out.  Them's the breaks.

And, anyway, Wicht's adventure is actually a little more complex than it at first appears.  That bit I said at the beginning about having to choose between better ingredients or a better adventure turns out not to be quite accurate.  On the surface, the adventure is just a trek to collect some tools and then slay a foe.  That's pretext.  This adventure is really about getting along with an unlikeable NPC because you have too—something that (in my experience) most PCs will go to great lengths to avoid throughout an entire campaign.  In its own way, this adventure presents no less of a paradigm-shift in adventure-expectations than does Radiating Gnome's entry.  The difference is, this one is (mostly) polished and just very well-presented.

Congratulations, Wicht.  You are 2013's IRON DM!


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 23, 2013)

_Crap. Always a bridesmade. _ 

Congratulations, Wicht, on a well-deserved win.  

I didn't have time to write down any notes about writing my entry beforehand, but I think you're right on in your critique, Rune. 

In coming up with my plan, Something Wicked and the singularity, of all things, put me in a place where I needed to be working with Bradbury as the inspiration. The anachronism led me to the dual game/convention gimmick, which I thought was fun, and I had intended to have a third table as well.  I fell in love with the idea of placing the adventure on Mars, because of Bradbury's Mars connection -- but also because so much of his writing was about 20th century america, the amusement park there would be a nostalgic look back at home for the colonists.  

But, by the time I'd committed to putting it all together, things started to really feel like they were unraveling for me.  And it's all Ray Bradbury's fault.  

Bradbury was a serious writer -- a science fiction writer, but not really a writer of escapist adventure stories. He wrote mostly about human beings dealing with human problems on a sci fi canvas. And, as it turns out, that can become very difficult to stitch together into amusement park exhibits and adventure settings.  

So, in trying to finish up this entry, I felt like I was trying to put icing on a cake that was falling. I'd prop up one area, and something else would collapse.  MoundShroud just felt wrong to me.  I needed him -- he was the character that fit the need I had for traveling through time and space, and he was my best bet at insufferable ally, but he was too much of a cartoon for the rest of this -- his texture didn't fit. He's cartoonish and silly in a piece that has none of those textures anywhere else.  

It started to feel like Bradbury was working against me.  That jerk.  

Sunday night, I'd been working on it trying to fix things up, and I reached a point where I knew I had really big problems. I could have tried to go back to the drawing board at that point, stay up until the wee hours and try to come up with something different, but instead I took one more gamble.  Usually, when I get stuck like this, if I sleep on it, I'll come up with a solution overnight -- just getting away, sleeping, tends to shake things out for me. 

Usually.  Not this time. I woke up and I still had the same problems.  So, I spent my last few hours trying to get the icing on the fallen cake just right, and turned it in.  

No regrets, though.  It was a gamble worth taking. I still think the convention gimmick was a fun one to use, and the Anachronism ingredient made this a perfect time for that kind of schtick. And looking back at the choices I was making -- running with the idea of an amusement park in the future that, in many ways, is looking back at our world -- it's a fun idea.  And, I'm sure that in about three days a few more things will click into place and I'll know what I should have done. But gambles don't always pay off.  

So, congrats to [MENTION=221]Wicht[/MENTION], again, and thanks to [MENTION=67]Rune[/MENTION] for running the show!

-john


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## Rune (Jul 23, 2013)

To be fair, I think that the multiple-table scenario wouldn't have felt like a gimmick if you had had the time to edit more and to add some helpful details.  It felt more like an outline of how to organize the game than a fleshed-out adventure.  It was very ambitious--so much so that it was clear you would have preferred another day to work on it.


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## Radiating Gnome (Jul 23, 2013)

I might need more than a day or two to get that one right -- I think I need to read a whole lot more Bradbury.


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## Wicht (Jul 24, 2013)

Thanks Rune for running the show this year!

And RG, I would have been quite satisfied to have lost to your entry. I sort of "pre-judged" the two entries before Rune did and, ingredient wise, came to much the same conclusions as he and decided the final verdict would probably fall down to judge-preference. The idea of a whole adventure revolving around a holographic Ray Bradbury themepark was quite a good idea and I would have liked to have seen it better fleshed out.

The word-count (of which I am a huge fan of in Iron DM) was a big factor in this one. It, by its very nature, forces hard choices on how to present your material. Going into this one, I knew I wanted to do a continuation of the little mini-series of adventures I had started, and that I wanted a psypossessed gold dragon to figure into it. The gold dragon had come to me when doing Round 2, and though I did not bring it into that one, I thought it would make a good villain. That being said, after reading the list of ingredients, it was the insufferable ally I focused on first and much of my brainstorming had to do with that character. The anachronism was originally going to be soldiers brought in from the past, but that expanded as I developed the idea of an actuality hook. The twin ingredients of singularity and anachronism lent themselves to a primary direction, one adopted by both myself and my opponent; although I decided early on that the singular nature of the insufferable ally would be a good double ingredient. 

As can probably be seen from reading the entry, the something wicked and figment ingredients did not get the brainstorming love the others did (I was driving, there was a cop involved, and my wife was a little upset with me when I confessed what I was daydreaming about). But more than this, the word-count meant that I had to stop adding to (I ended up cutting out about 200 words after my first draft to bring it below word count as it was). 

I am pleased that the judge realized that the true point of this adventure was not in defeating the bad-guys, but in dealing with the luck of the insufferable ally (hence the title). I am equally pleased that I got to tie in the adventures of three different rounds into one another (that has been a goal of mine). And I am looking forward to defending the title in the next go around.


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## Lwaxy (Jul 25, 2013)

Congrats Wicht


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## Imhotepthewise (Jul 31, 2013)

Congrats Wicht. I am reading and learning how the masters do it. Looking forward to IRON DM 2014!


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## Mike Myler (Dec 19, 2013)

Hey folks! Just an update on what happened to _Quadrial's Tower_, my entry that disappeared a while ago.
It's in the newest issue of _Pathways_! I've got an (excellent, I'm told) interview in _Pathways #32_, but _Quadrial's Tower_ appears in _Pathways #33_ (and got props from Endzeitgeist, which is always nice). 

Check it out; _Pathways #33_ and all the other issues are pay what you want (which _can _be $0) and free, depending on where you look. Snazzy artwork included!

Good luck to all of next year's contestants! Thanks again!


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