# Meepo's Story Hour [NEWS! 6-19-02]



## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

I don't know when I'm going to be able to start with regular updates again, but I can repost the old stuff. 

I-In the Beginning...

Wherein we meet our hero.

It was the end of everything. Only a few short, oh, so short weeks ago Meepo was the second most powerful kobold in his tribe. Everyone respected Meepo. Everyone knew Meepo was the Dragon Keeper, who took care of Calcryx, the emerald-scaled dragon mascot and totem of Yusdrayl's clan.

Only with the might of Yusdrayl's dragon magic and the awe inspired by Calcryx had been able to push the goblins back and take this ruin. The goblins remained, but now the kobolds had their place and could fortify it against the goblins.

Let them try to attack, and die a hundred deaths from collapsing floors, ceilings, and crossbow bolts fired from hiding. Goblins were dumb, they couldn't unseat Yusdrayl's band even if they were powerful enough to.

As everyone knows, except stupid goblins, kobolds are themselves have the blood of dragons, and the strongest of all dragon bloodlines at that. Yusdrayl had their magic and Meepo knew the ways to please Calcryx. One day, Calcryx would grow great and powerful. She would remember Meepo and he would ride her when Calcryx closed her huge jaws around Yusdrayl's body and the chieftan's bones shattered.

As Yusdrayl's blood spilled on the stone floor beneath Calcryx's talons, Meepo would be chieftain. Yes! Only Meepo could tend and keep Calcryx happy. Only Meepo could get her the food she liked and knew how to feed her without losing a hand like that idiot Krendik did when he tried, or a head like stupid Breenil did when he teased Calcryx.

All the kobolds knew better than to cross Meepo, or he'd make sure Calacryx got mad at them and took a bite out of their hides when they got too close.

Then the goblins came. They burst in while Meepo was sleeping by Calcryx's cage and killed the guards in one quick rush. Tewir barely got out a scream before the goblins were rushing into Calcryx's chamber.

A giant bugbear grabbed Meepo as he rose up, his hand flying to his spear. His meaty fist closed around Meepo's throat and began squeezing the scaly life out of him. He lifted Meepo off the group and into the air. Meepo kicked and gasped for breath as the bugbear's hand drove his windpipe back into his neckbones.

Meepo's vision grey hazy as he saw kobolds bursting into the room and battling the goblins. The world had gone muted and everything seemed to slow down as it tilted crazily to the left. For a moment, it seemed like the battle were being fought on the side of a hill.

Then Meepo was flying. Had he become a dragon in the battle? Now could he become chieftan on his own, without Calcryx's help? Everyone would see how strong the dragon blood flowed in his veins. The world rushed by under him and a plain stone wall painted with green kobold script came rushing up to meet him with a loud crack like stone breaking.

---

Meepo's head hurt. It felt like someone had stripped off his scaled and decided to take the top layer of his skull along with them. Someting hard slammed into his side. Something else his him in his ribs. Something else slammed into his leg just above the knee. Finally, something very hard him him between his legs and his eyes flew open as he screamed out in agony.

Meepo loked up once he could see clearly again. Six bounders, kobold guards and warriors, stood over him. In their midst and right at Meepo's feet was Yusdrayl, her foot poised for another kick at Meepo's sensitive regions. "Meepo awake!" Meepo yelled.

Yusdrayl drew herself up to her full height and glared down at him. "Meepo, you worthless fool! You let the goblins steal Calcryx!" What? Meepo thought to himself. Calcryx is gone!? All his hopes of supplanting Yusdrayl and being cheiftain himself vanished in that moment and he sank low to the floor. What Meepo do now? Meepo can't be chieftain with no Calcryx. Then it occurred to him. He had the perfect solution.

Rising up only so far as needed to drop to his knees, Meepo cried out. "Meepo sorry! Meepo worthless. Meepo let bugbear and goblins steal Calcryx. No kill Meepo! Meepo know Calcryx come back! Calcryx kill goblins and come back! No kill Meepo!"

Yusdrayl seemed unmoved by Meepo's apology and reassurances. Well, her foot was moved...at Meepo's skull. For the second time meepo's skull hit the wall that day. Then the bounders started in again at Meepo from all sides. The air rained kicks at him from every angle until he was too overwhelmed with pain to struggle any more. Hopeless, Meepo laid down to die.

But it was not to be. Yusdrayl called off the bounders just as Meepo was about to take one last kick to his face that would probably end with his snout sticking out the back of his head. "Meepo, you do not deserve death...yet." Meepo couldn't muster the strength to roll over and face his chieftain. She continued, "You will be the only guard in this room. The bounders will be nearby, but you will warn them when something comes this way...especially dragon- stealing goblins. You will warn them with your screams as they kill you."

Yusdrayl left with a hateful smile on her face and Meepo's spirits sank even further. His own tribe had left him to die as their early warning system. Calcryx was gone. His plans were gone. Everything was gone. He dragged himself over to his bedding, trailing blood, and fell into a nightmare-ridden sleep.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

II-Rudely Awakened
Wherein our hero finds a solution to his problems.

Meepo was sleeping. He slept a lot. He didn't think there was any point in being awake when he died. Meepo's kobold-born, dragon-blooded courage would only see that he died with an empty bladder and bowells.

The nightmares came. Thoughts of revenge on Yusdrayl and the rest didn't last long as the grim reality of his ruined life hit home. There was no point in running away. The goblins would kill him, or the giant rats, or the kobolds themselves when they caught him. He'd rather die well-rested than tired after a long chase.

What was that? Did Meepo hear something? Meepo started out of his sleep. He heard speaking...it wasn't goblin voices or kobold voices. Those were humans. Humans had come. Visions of gigantic human warriors shattering kobold caverns and warrens flooded his mind.

Meepo remembered the story of Kenrop, the kobold who stood up to the humans and ordered them to make nice. The humans killed him and fed him to gnomes. Gnomes...the only thing worse than humans, dwarves, and weakling elves that didn't even taste good. Kenrop was stupid and got what he deserved. Every hatchling was told his story so they'd know that only the stupid stood out where they could be killed and order enemies around.

Smart kobolds were like Ninlag. They knew you made traps for your enemies. Then when they were caught in the trap you came and killed them. Never try to kill something until you're sure it can't fight back was his motto. And if you had to fight, a smart kobold fought like Lirkuhno. He was a mighty leader to conquered a whole gnome city. Lirkuhno snuck around, laying traps with Ninlag and sending out a stupid kobold like Kenrop to draw the gnomes into the traps. Once most of the gnome warriors were killed in or by the traps, those left came boiling out into the forest where Lirkuhno left his army.

The army followed Lirkuhno's plan and broke up into small parties that kept moving and wore the gnomes down to bloody streaks in the forest grass with ambush after ambush.

But here Meepo was playing Kenrop. Yusdrayl, cursed Yusdrayl, had left him here to die. Now the humans were coming. Meepo hid under his blankets and rags. He tried to stay still but couldn't stop trembling.

The humans came in. He could hear them moving around, and breathing. Humans were so loud and stupid. Lirkuhno should have killed them instead of gnomes. Gnomes anyone could kill. If Lirkuhno killed these stupid, loud humans, they wouldn't be here getting ready to kill poor Meepo.

Then something hard touched Meepo through his rags. His thoughts shattered into shards of razor-edge panic as he desperately threw himself out of the rags in a roll. He came up and stood terror-stricken for a moment before collapsing into a small ball, sitting on his tail with his legs drawn up and his arms folded over his head.

"No kill Meepo! No Kill Meepo!" Meepo screamed in human. He learned some of it from listening to a few humans the clan kept as slaves when he was young, until the clan got hungry anyway.

His glowing red eyes looked out from under his arms and between his knees. Meepo gazed upon the humans who would kill him.

Two weren't human at all. One was a wolf, like those that ran under the accursed sun that hurt Meepo's eyes. The sun was jealous of kobolds, so it hurt them. But the sun was stupid and didn't know that kobolds liked underground more anyway.

The other non-human wasn't a giant like the humans. He was ugly, but about as tall as a kobold. His face was burned. His name was Burble.

The humans were many and different. One wore metal scales, like a dragon's. He had a big sword. Meepo would learn his name to be Lorn.

Another was a female of their kind, the only she with them. She was Rhea.

Then there was the ugly one, with the yellow hair like the stupid sun. He was Rowland.

There was a quiet one with a huge bow. He stood behind the others. They called him Bryant.

The last one held a great spear, pointed right at Meepo. He had pointed ears. He was called Embrill, but Meepo would soon know him by another name.

Embrill asked many questions, and the halfling asked more. Meepo let his anguish over Calcryx's loss pour out in tears and sniffles. Humans were stupid. They fell for things like that. He was surprised when they didn't break out into tears or try to comfort him like he'd heard they might, but he could tell his mentions of rewards were enticing them. Meepo imagined the humans returning Calcryx to get Yusdrayl's reward and then shortly after when Calcryx ripped out Yusdrayl's throat with her great jaws.

The humans were foolish enough to fall for it. Meepo carefully avoided promising a reward himself, but made sure they knew Yusdrayl might give them one. They took his bait and Meepo led them to Yusdrayl. She wasted no time getting down to business with the humans.

"Why have you come here and what do you want of Yusdrayl?" Yusdrayl asked them in the common tongue. She knew more of it than Meepo. As Yusdrayl spoke, Burble saw Yusdrayl's magic on the altar behind her. He stepped over to one side to get a better view. Meepo smiled to himself. Yusdrayl's magic would be a fair trade for his vengeance.

The metal-clad Lorn told the boy, Rowland, that he should talk to Yusdrayl since Rowland spoke the tongue of dragons. Lorn was right, but Rowland spoke a stupid-sounding version of it. The boy begged off, saying that kobolds didn't speak the true tongue of dragons. Meepo made a note of how stupid the boy was.

Embrill spoke first, "We wish nothing of you in specific, Yusdrayl. We simply came along at the asking of Meepo who says that you've lost your clan's dragon. Would you tell us more?"

Yusdrayl drew herself up and fixed her glowing red eyes on Embrill. "The putrid goblins stole our dragon! If you return it to us, I shall use my vast powers to grant you a reward. Perhaps you would like the key your halfling is staring at." She flicks a dismissive finger at Burble. "Yes...when you go, Meepo shall accompany you. He will be my agent in your party, to ensure my interests remain paramount in your minds. I will suffer your questions now."

Meepo expected as much and didn't mind. The humans could risk their lives while he hid in the back of the group when the goblins attacked. It was the only smart thing to do. If it looked like the goblins were killing off the humans, Meepo would run or try to take a few from behind to put himself in the goblins' favor. It was the kobold way.

Lorn was the first with a question. "We are unfamiliar with these caverns," says Lorn. "Any tactical information you can provide us about the goblins would assist us in returning your dragon." Meepo hardly understood half his jabbering, but thought it was about killing goblins.

Burble asked his own questions right after. "Yusdrayl, I ask you these, to give us some more background. One, how many Goblins do we face? Have they support from other types of creatures? How long ago was the dragon taken and what does it look like? What is the exact reward that they will give us for its return? Have they seen or heard of any sign of the two kids we are looking for or their henchmen, the ranger and the priest?"

Meepo understood that. He vaguely remembered some other humans who came through before, but he hadn't paid them much mind. He was tending Calcryx when they came. Burble sounded interested. Meepo was right about the humans, they would do it.

"I know not how many goblins there are. They are many and foul. The dragon-theiving goblins serve Belak, the Outcast. They stole our dragon over a week ago. It is a mighty dragon with green scales. It is longer you are tall, halfling. I will reward you with the key you are staring at if you return Calcryx...or one of these." Yusdrayl reached behind herself and drew several of the objects that Burble had been trying to get a clear look at into the light. In her right hand she held two scrolls. She quickly darted her other hand back and produced a small metal flask and a small feather. Yusdrayl then shook the flask so all could hear the sloshing of liquid inside. "This is a cure for disease...disease the rats carry. We found it on a goblin. He told me there was more behind the door carved with fish, but we could not open it! If you open the door and bring us back more, I will give you one more of the things I have shown." Yusdrayl smiled. "And the humans...they fought the goblins. They did not return. If you do the things I ask, you will have safe passage and be rewarded as I have said."

So Yusdrayl wanted them to open the fish door? Meepo knew it well. It was just beyond Calcryx's room. He wondered what she really thought was beyond it. It might be potions to get rid of the rat sickness, but Meepo knew Yusdrayl wouldn't bargain so much of her magic away for just a potion when the rat sickness could be survived by the strong. There must be some other treasure there she wanted more...perhaps something Meepo could use against her.

Burble, still looking at the key and wondering what it might open, nodded. "Ok lady, you may just have a deal here. If my companions are willing, we will try to get your dragon back, alive if we can, or at least his body if the goblins have killed it. If Meepo is willing, we can use him as our guide and to handle the dragon, as it might not want to listen or follow us. Not sure which fish door you might be talking about, but we can discuss that later, I just want to make sure that you will stand by your offer. I am willing to keep my word, but I warn you, play me for a fool and I will get even. Now I will, seeing that the humans have gotten captured, you have any idea if it is the goblins that have them or is it this Belak that would have them to himself? This Belak, is he human or a goblin? And why is he an outcast? Also, if we come across some good treasures, would you be willing to trade those scrolls and potions you got there? Lastly, the key, you know what it opens?"

Meepo hardly knew anything about Belak, save that he lived below and controlled the goblins. If Yusdrayl knew more she might tell the humans. Meepo paid close attention. Belak could factor into his own plans.

"Meepo will accompany you. He has no choice." Yusdrayl declared. Meepo nodded enthusiastically, hoping both to give no hint of his plans to Yusdrayl and to ingratiate himself to the humans. "Belak is a human, who dwells in the Twilight Grove below. He calls himself the Outcast." Yusdrayl continued, answering questions in turn. Her final words surprised Meepo the most. "I will consider trading my treasures for other treasures, if they are worthy. The key opens the way to great tresures of the past. You would be pleased with it. It is magical."

The key must be worthless, or Yusdrayl didn't truly know what it opened. Perhaps she even feared what it might open. This could be useful to Meepo.

Burble agreed to the deal with Yusdrayl and asked more about Calcryx. Meepo was happy to answer the halfling. "Meepo show traps. Meepo tell about Calcryx. Calcryx good dragon. Goblins steal her. She breathes, makes chest hurt. Sometimes kill. Meepo make nice to Calcryx. You make nice too, Calcryx come home." Best to play the fool, Meepo thought. They could know some, but not all. If they knew everything about Calcryx they might abandon the deal with Yusdrayl and go on finding the other stupid humans.

Buble bid Meepo walk with him at the front, and Meepo saw a chance. The halfling trusted him enough to let him near. It was an opening to ingratiate himself more."Calcryx breathes lots. Not all the time, but lots. Maybe few minutes when Calcryx wants not make nice." was Meepo's reply to Burble's question about how how often Calcryx could breathe her stinging green gas.

Burble seemed hesitant for a moment. Meepo wondered if he'd decided to back out of the deal, which would ruin his plans yet again. "Ok Meepo, you just be sure to help us and stop Calcryx from being naughty." Meepo relaxed. The fool was still willing to rescue the dragon. He seemed to be the leader. Burble talked the most and even though the others didn't seem to get along, they were following his lead.

Meepo cringed when Burble told him to lead the way. Leading the way would mean he caught the first arrow a goblin was kind enough to throw his way. There was no helping it, though. Time to play the loyal kobold game. Meepo led the humans back out of the kobold territory into the back way towards the goblin-infested parts of the fortress.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*III-Hot and Cold. Door and Potion.*

Wherein our hero finds gainful employment.

Plans for his glorious revenge warming his heart Meepo led the way to the goblins. He wouldn't be stupid and charge the shorter path to their territory. That was just begging for death. It was something a human would do. As they set out, Meepo instructed the dumb humans on what was going on. It was complicated and required a quick mind to comprehend. Meepo tried anyway, almost sure of failure.

"Meepo show back way to Goblins now. They not know we come this way." The kobold motioned for silence hoping the humans would get the idea. If they got killed because they were too loud then Meepo wouldn't be far behind them as the goblins closed in. Revenge was no fun if you were dead.

Burble trailed behind Meepo, moving quietly and always looking to the walls and floor. Meepo realized he must be looking for traps. He was a smart one after all. He could almost be a kobold if he kept thinking like that.

The corridor Meepo led the humans down ended abruptly in a door and doubt creeped into the kobold's mind. When he opened this door, there could be goblins on the other side just waiting for him. This was the way they came when they stole Calcryx and destroyed his dreams of ruling the tribe from dragonback. Even as he thought of it though, Meepo's dreams flickered once more back into his mind. Through that door was his revenge. Through that door was his dream. He could still see Yusdrayl dead and rule the clan as his own!

"Are the Goblins beyond here then? If so, we can take things Meepo. Just make sure that the door is not trapped and can be opened." Burble said, and took his own advice looking over the door. Meepo took a quick step back ostensibly to give the halfling room to work. He nodded to confirm that goblins were beyond. They might not be, but the consequences of lying and finding goblins beyond the door were worse than giving a false warning. Goblin javelins piercing kobold hide was not a sensation Meepo wanted to experience if he could help it. Besides, he was the humans' guide. They needed him.

Burble spoke again. "Ok boys and girls, looks like we are about to get into the thick of it, get what spells, weapons, and things you want. I am going to open the door. If we can take whatever guards that might be about quickly, we might be able to stop any of them fleeing and warning the whole compound. Anything you want to say, now is the time. if we can lets try to get a prisoner so we can find out where the dragon is being kept. That is, if any of use speak goblin. I surer the hell don't."

Meepo barely concealed his shock. Burble was just as afraid as he was! The halfling was as smart as a kobold. He wanted prisoners and even went so far as to tell his dumb human companions they needed to be quiet. He might be of use to Meepo. An ally, perhaps...

Meepo took Burble's invitation to speak, with a whimper in his voice. "Meepo be
mighty warrior. Meepo kill goblins. Meepo bring Calcryx back." He loaded his crossbow and tried to keep control of his bowells. The humans were tensing and readying weapons too.

Burble pushed open the door and revealed an empty room. A door stood at the far end. Meepo relaxed. No goblins. Good, for the moment he still only had the humans to worry about. Them and Burble, anyway. That halfling was too smart. He could be a dangerous foe. Burble and the human female, Rhea, quickly went about searching the room for traps and checking the door. Both of them were too careful. Maybe Meepo could play one against the other. If factions developed in the party he could use it to his advantage.

The druid dropped down on the ground and started sniffing some rat droppings. At least the druid was stupid. That was one Meepo wouldn't have to worry about. He spent all his time reminding himself that rat droppings smelled bad. Embrill said the droppings were from rats, but Meepo already knew that. He said something about other footprints, but Meepo didn't care enough to pay attention. There must have been something in it Burble didn't like because he snorted and pointedly turned away from the druid.

Just what Meepo needed. If the two didn't get along he might be able to widen that gap. With the party divided Meepo would have an easier time manipulating one party member against another. Burble was obviously far smarter than these stupid giants, so Meepo knew already what faction he would align with.

Burble motioned for the others to ready themselves and all fell into line with weapons on hand while the halfling opened the door. In a moment he opened it and revealed another room of similar size to the last, with a hallway going off into darkness opposite the group, a dried-up stone fountain, and a stone door carved with reliefs of skeletal dragons.

Instantly Meepo's eyes fell on the door and the dragons carved on it. He wondered if they might be ancestors of his. There were words carved above it. Meepo knew what they said, but Burble motioned for Rowland to translate. The halfling himself moved over to look at the fountain.

"Tana Aman Heka Men," which in the tongue of men is "Channel good, open the way." Rowland said.

"Any idea what that means? And as for the cold? What cold that be? Some sort of trap or is it some spell that I might be able to disarm?" Burble stayed near the hallway, but looked over towards Rowland and Rhea. The woman said something about the door being cold, but Meepo was busy thinking about more important things when she had and he'd missed it. Rowland didn't know what any of it meant and said as much when Burble asked.

"Does Meepo have any ideas?" The boy spoke of him like he wasn't even there. Insolent wretch. Meepo simply shook his head and hefted his spear. He'd have liked to shove it through the boy's chest, but he needed the humans alive for now.

Burble told Rhea to look over the door with him, but she refused to go near it. Meepo mentally added her to the anti-Burble camp with Embrill. But after a moment she relented and Meepo had to amend his list. She didn't seem to want to follow Burble, but she wasn't exactly against him either. Maybe she was smart and didn't want to get caught in some goblin magic on the door. Burble was the one who found the door's trap, though. Rhea only spotted it after the halfling did.

Burble warned the rest off and tried to disarm whatever trap he'd found. Meepo was happy to leave to to him. Any kobold could build traps, but Meepo never learned ways to disarm one that someone else had set up.

But then Rowland stepped up. "Hey, Burble. Before you like, y'know, go blowing yourself up here, I had a thought. Maybe 'Channel Good' means, like channeling mystic energies...GOOD mystic energies." He stepped forward purposefully.

Meepo looked carefully at the boy. Did he have the Dragon Blood? Or was he just a stupid human god-kisser?

"Well that might be, but if it might be a reference to channeling good energies and spells, I would think it would be better if we had a priest to send their God's energy. I do not think your spell could be considered good, even if you have a good natured mage. Lets have me get the lock removed first, then we can think more about it, but I do not think you would do more then open the door and if your wrong, might gum up the works." Burble told the boy.

Meepo nodded to himself. The boy did have the Dragon Blood. Meepo wondered if he could drain it off and drink it if it would give him magical powers. That would put Yusdrayl in her place.

Rowland stepped up anyway and spoke strange words as he gestured with one hand. Meepo watched very closely. For a long moment the room was silent and...nothing happened. Burble went back to work, waiting until the others could all pull back at Lorn's suggestion. Meepo wasted no time taking cover. Embrill made a nasty comment about someone besides Rhea thinking for a change and Meepo nearly laughed in the dung-sniffer's face.

Burble worked at some catch inside the door's handle, probing it with wires and poking around. Meepo held his breath, hoping his best chance at an ally didn't go up in smoke from doing this. Dead allies weren't any good. After a moment a loud click burst from the door handle and two huge, scything blades flashed down in steely arcs of death over the door. Burble desperately threw himself back and rolled out of the way of both blades by mere inches.

Meepo's heart skipped a beat as the blades came swinging down from the ceiling. It took him more than a minute to recover from the shock of seeing his best hope at revenge nearly cut in two. For an instant, he was back under his rags, sniveling and nightmare-haunted.

But Burble went right back at it. He told the rest to stay back and ordered Embrill to shut the hells up before the druid had a chance to open his mouth. Maybe he wasn't so smart after all. This time he disarmed the blades and started poking at the door itself. Burble probed and prodded, squeezed his fingers into small joints and hinges, and in general abused the door until his fingers were raw and his hopes frustrated.

Meepo saw he could have a strong ally in Burble. The halfling's hatred for Embrill was strong. The way to win his good graces was obvious.

Burble couldn't open the door so he asked for the others to try their hands at forcing it open. Meepo was happy to watch the fools strain. With their efforts proving fruitless the humans hit on an idea Rowland suggested. Maybe the channel in the inscription was a water channel. The fountain to the other end of the room could be the key.

Burble spotted a faded inscription and again Rowland was called to translate. "Rowland, can you translate this for me, to see if this will be the right way to get this darned door open."

Rowland intoned the word inscribed on the fountain, Draconic for "Let there be fire." As he spoke, reddish liquid bubbled up into the fountain and spilled into its cracked basin. Rowland ran away like an idiot from the fountain as Meepo gave the liquid a close look. Burble tried the door again but still found it impossible to budge. Failing that, Burble came over and took a flask of the red liquid. He was smart, something like this must be magical.

Burble asked Rowland to look at the flask. Rhea dared Burble to drink it. Burble shot back that he just might. Meepo watched carefully. If it was magical and Burble drank it, they would know what this liquid did soon enough. But instead Burble asked Meepo and Rowland if they knew anything about it. Meepo took his chance to get a close look at the fluid, peering intently at it through the side of the flask before finally saying, "Meepo no know."

And Meepo didn't know. He had suspicions it was magical, perhaps even dragon magic. The fountain was shaped like a dragon and the inscription was in the Dragontongue. But there wasn't any reason to share those just yet. Let the humans think him a fool for a while longer.

Rowland's response was only slightly more sagacious. "Looks like spiced wine to me." he stuck a finger in it and shoved the finger in his mouth. Meepo half expected the boy's head to explode and wondered if lapping dragon blood up off the floor would have the same effects as drinking it straight out would.

The boy removed the finger from his mouth and as he breathed out a long tongue of flame burst from his lips. It narrowly fell short of burning Burble's already burned face. Once again Meepo nearly lost control of his body. After a moment he composed himself and stood tall. "Is dragon blood, like Kobolds have! Take to Yusdrayl. She know what do."

Yusdrayl would try to take it from them and damn the agreement. She promised safe passage so long as the humans brought the dragon back. If they came back without it, all bets were off. If she tried to take it from them, there would be a fight and the humans would kill Yusdrayl for him. Meepo was overall pleased by the possibility.

Rowland offered his apologies for nearly burning off Burble's nose and then gave some thought to how the magic liquid could be used. "Any ideas? We COULD always try breathing fire on the door, or perhaps using the liquid to open it in some way?" The boy was smart to apologize. Burble's dagger made it into his hand and was cocked back to throw before he stopped himself. Meepo made note of Burble's dislike of fire. Another thing that could be of use.

Rowland went back and pulled on the door again, but Burble was ready to call it quits and move on. Burble reluctantly came back and looked for openings that might accept the liquid if poured in or a tongue of fire breathed courtesy of the potion. He didn't find any and Rowland still couldn't budge the door.

The halfling motioned the others away and stood about a pace from the door. He took a deep swig of the red potion and breathed a steady stream of fire on the door. After a few moments of spewing fire that washed and lashed around the door, the fire spent itself and vanished. Meepo wanted that potion for himself, but even if he could steal it the humans would know instantly where it was.

Angrily Burble set at the door once more with his tools. Seeing that again futile, Burble called for help. He, Lorn, and Bryant hauled on the door handle with all their might, but the thing still refused to budge. Meepo worked hard to stifle a laugh at the stupid giants straining.

Burble finally gave up again. "Ok folks, lets just get out of here. I have had it with this damned gods forsaken door. It will not open no matter what we try and I feel we have better things to do. Meepo, get your cowardly arse over here and lets move out."

Meepo didn't resent being called cowardly. The brave ones were the first to die. Cowards schemed and lived to rule when all the brave ones were safely dead. Playing the fool once more Meepo rushed over to Burble, readying his spear. "Meepo ready!" Burble patted him on the head and wated for the others to follow.

Meepo hated being patted on the head, but he had an ally to make. "You make nice with Meepo," the kobold said as he pretended to love being treated like a pet lizard.

"Looks like somebody's got a new pet," joked Lorn. Meepo nearly turned and fired a crossbow bolt through his armor. Damned giants deserved it for all they were putting him through.

"Yeah, sure." Burble replied to Meepo. "Well as long as you work with me, I can stand it. Just make sure you get Calcryx to come along, help point out the traps and don't abandon us. Do that and I will come at ya. Work with me, and hells, might just let you have something to help you out down the road."

Meepo saw his efforts were already paying off. Burble wanted to deal with him. All was going according to plan. Then the halfling spoke in response to Lorn's jest, "Pet, servant, lackey, works for me."

Meepo swallowed his pride and played the fool again. He smiled a toothy kobold grin. "Meepo make nice. Meepo bring back Calcryx. Meepo be big hero! Meepo do what Master Burble say. Meepo be good lackey. Meepo like being lackey!"


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*IV-Stupid Humans and Goblins*

Werein Meepo learns the finer points of human theology.

Meepo was now securely ensconced into the party as Burble's lackey. Humans were stupid, but the had their uses. Burble was dangerously smart, but trusting. Meepo had him wrapped around his tail.

Kobold and halfling led the humans up a corridor ten feet wide. Burble carefully examined every inch of it. Meepo tried to stay a step or two behind the halfling. Any traps the goblins left behind were for Burble to find, not him. Meepo would miss his newly-won ally, but he'd miss his life more.

Meepo and Burble made their way forward. They reached a point where another corridor crossed the one they'd been walking along and Meepo decided to curry more favor. He peered theatrically both ways down the crossing corridor and into the darkness ahead of them beyond the intersection. He made sure that he tilted his head so his eyes would flesh and glow in the lantern light. Meepo wanted to appear useful.

"Meepo see stones and dirt that way," he told Burble, pointing to the right. "It goes outside, many rats that not make nice there. That way, " now Meepo pointed left. "Meepo see door. Straight up, Meepo see doors on sides of walls, big arch and open past that. Can see no more." He'd seen all of this some moments before at the latest, but telling the humans showed that he was trying to help them. Meepo wanted them to see him as a helpful addition to the group. They'd be more likely to do what he wanted if they trusted him to some degree. Humans were stupid, trust came easy to them.

Burble nodded and smiled as best he could with his fire-twisted face. "Thanks Meepo, I am glad to have you with me and help point out what is around. Do you know what lies beyond the door to the left? as for the Right, well glad to know we have another avenue to the outside, but I have no wish to face the damned rats any time soon. Looks like the front is where we want to go, to try to get the Dragon and kill off or defeat the fricken goblins. Well folks, what do you think."

Meepo would be damned if he were going to go out into the rats' home. They were as long as kobolds were tall and their bites carried disease. He'd be happy to send the humans there after he was done with them, but for now they had their uses. Maybe he wouldn't send Burble. The halfling might have the potential for longer usefulness. In time, he might become Meepo's lackey if events moved as Meepo willed.

Burble wanted to check the door Meepo saw, though. That was smart enough. Goblins could come through the door behind them and lay an ambush. Meepo hadn't considered that. Burble did indeed have his uses. There would be no rats for him. If he became inconvenient Meepo would have to kill him in his sleep.

Rowland agreed that the door should be checked. Meepo was especially conscious of the boy now. His Dragonblood had potential uses that left Meepo nearly drooling just thinking about them. Burble moved ahead, "I am about to check this room, any want to follow me? Meepo, get ready and cover me ok flunky."

Lorn and Rhea were yammering at each other in the rear, but Meepo paid them no mind. They started talking about Burble, so Meepo started listening. If the two were aligning against Burble, he'd have to know about it.

"That blade trap he set off while attempting to open the door does not inspire a lot of confidence." Lorn was saying. "I would hate to see things if he did not have them under control."

Meepo noted that the two might be conspiring against Burble and quickly scurried up to the door with the halfling. He could find out the details later, but if he kept hanging back they'd notice. Burble had summoned him and a proper lackey was quick to obey.

With the others now gathered up by the door, Meepo with crossbow ready, Burble opened it and quickly swept into the room with his bow drawn. The new room was square and sported another closed door. "Meepo, keep your eyes peeled, ok."

Meepo nodded like an idiot. Of course he was going to stay alert. It was good that Burble underestimated him, though. Burble moved up to the door and quickly checked it over. It was safe.

Burble carefully opened the door, with Meepo, Bryant, and Rowland standing at the ready. He no more than moved the door an inch before the room exploded in a loud clanging, as though a bell were rung with the motion. Meepo cursed silently. This could get him killed. He could spare a human or two, but his own life was precious.

Any advantage of surprise lost, Burble flung the door open and revealed beyond a hallway ten feet wide and perhaps twenty long. The floor was covered with sharpened, pointed metal stars....caltrops, Meepo knew. The hall ended in a roughly-mortared breatwork three feet tall topped with crenelations. Meepo knew in an instant that they'd walked into a trap.

As the door opened and bell sounded harsh voices called out and Meepo barely have time to see sallow yellow vaces with sloped-back foreheads and glazed eyes pop up over the breastwork before equally yellow arms raised up sharp javelins and  back to throw them. Meepo struggled to keep from screaming at the halfling. If he wanted to yell at Burble he could after he lived through this. Two goblins with cover and javelins were enough to keep him busy for the moment.

Burble's arrow struck one of the two goblins in the shoulder and Meepo let himself be caught up in the excitement of battle. "Meepo kill goblin too!" In Meepo's mind, each goblin was one of those who stole Calcryx, beat him, and ruined his plans.

The other goblin quickly showed itself and hurled a javelin at Burble, which Burble easily dodged. Meepo enthusiasticly loaded his crossbow and fired a shot at the goblin that attacked Burble. If he hit it, he would look like he was protecting the halfling. Another opprotunity to curry favor. Meepo might be bent on vengeance, but he didn't let it control him entirely. "Meepo kill you!" he cried. The bolt missed. That didn't work out exactly like he'd planned.

Bryant sent an arrow at the goblins and Rowland let loose with a magical bolt. The bolt followed the goblin no matter how he dodged. Meepo had to figure out how to do that. The second goblin came up from behind the wall again and Rhea sent a dagger flying at him, which hit about as well as Meepo's crossbow bolt. The goblin raised its javelin and hurled it right at Meepo. The javelin hit him and nearly spun the kobold around with the force of its impact. Pain rocketed down Meepo's arm. He howled in pain. "Meepo hurt! Meepo kill goblin for that!"

Then Lorn showed how stupid he was. He called out to some human god and holding his sword high ran across the caltrop-lined corridor, begging to get his feet flayed and be cut down by javelins. Meepo winced at his pain but managed to watch the human running to his death. Somehow, the human made it to the goblin breastwork and sank his blade deep into the stone, just missing a goblin skull. The goblin was smart. It ran. The other followed.

Meepo learned an important lesson then. Human gods liked stupid people.

"You will not escape a warrior of Heironeous!" Lorn screamed as he started over the breatwork. They were being led into another ambush. Meepo was sure of it. Burble started sweeping the caltrops clear with his bow. That was a wiser action. It couldn't possibly have come from a human.

"Follow me Meepo and step as I do, Do not get your feet stuck, as we do not have high healing and I would hate to see you damaged before we can find Calcryx." Like Burble needed to tell him. But best to play the fool again. Burble did stay close to Meepo though, seemingly of his own free will. This presented certain opprotunities.

The goblins had vanished into the ruins, and Lorn chose not to follow after all seeing that no one was stupid enough to follow him to his doom. So he waited for the rest to sweep the caltrops away and move up behind him. They stepped carefully over the goblin breastwork. Burble did the work with his bow and asked Meepo to watch his back for goblins.

Burble was starting to trust Meepo. That was unexpectedly fast. Time to reinforce that trust. "Meepo watch. Meepo yell if goblins come. Meepo not make nice."

"Your doing just fine Meepo. I am proud of the way that you stood up to those nasty buggers. Hope we can pay them back, and with interest. Watch and let us know if you see anything," was Burble's reply. That surprised Meepo a bit. No one had ever paid him a complement before without the threat of violcnce provoking it. Meepo favored the halfling with a toothy kobold grin.

Lorn had doubled back while the others cleared the caltrops. "I was unable to stop them without the hand of Heironeous guiding my own." Meepo wondered if the man was even too stupid for stupid human gods.

Burble answered the heavily armored man. "You did the best you could Lorn. Hells, I missed the dang alarm that warned the goblins and they have now escaped and warned their fellows. Just stay there and keep an eye out and let us know if you see anything. I want to clear the full path here so we have an escape route if we need to flee. If any want to gather the caltrops, do so, but just be warned, they might be poisoned. Once we get to the wall, we can set out on where we want to go next. Embrill, could you wake up back there and bind Meepo. Ok folks, lets get a move on."

Burble wanted Meepo's wounds treated now. He was taking this trust thing into the realms of insanity. But he might just be protecting a useful tool. Meepo could understand that. He'd do the same for Burble. Embrill had other ideas, though.

"I don't recall my needing to listen to a damn thing you have to say, much less obey you." Meepo now considered Lorn the leader of the anti-Burble faction of the group and thus his chief obstacle. "Besides, as you've stated in the past, Meepo is your 'lackey'" He spoke the word with the scorn it deserved. "So taking care of his wellbeing would be your responsibility, now wouldn't it?" The druid pushed past Burble and stepped over the goblin wall.

Meepo could bear no more and spoke in his own defense. "Meepo good lackey!"

"Yes...yes I'm sure you are, Meepo." Embrill's voice was thick with sarcasm and condescention. Meepo wanted to kill him, slowly. Then he'd feed the pieces to that damned wolf.

"Yes you are Meepo and we can try to have some nice Riki for dinner when we rest. Pay no attention to that ass of a druid, he seems to love only his dog of a lover, and would not even heal a friend if he could help it." Burble said.

"Actually, you bring up a point worth speaking about for a change. Those whom I would call friends are the only ones I would feel are worth healing." Embrill continued.

"Meepo no pay attention to dog-lovers. Meepo love dragon." The kobold replied sagely. Let them think that he was driven by remorse and not revenge.

"Then maybe we would be better off looking for a real healer and not some selfish ass that would leave people that he travels with. Go find your own group, one more suited to your ideals flower sniffer. Your not even a real priest, just some flaked-out necter-drinking, flower-wearing fop." Burble shot back at Embrill.

"I stand by my position. If you have my respect, you have my gift at your disposal. I'm fairly certain none of the others would protest. I'm sure Rhea's leg feels much better now, no?" Embrill retorted.

"Ok Embrill, have it your way. I seem to guess that your course with us may not last the best, but then we can see how this all plays out. You want to be the loner, you got it. Hope that you will remember this as you bleed out with a goblin spear in you. You're a nasty bastard, and you seem to want to play things really close to your chest. Hells, you could not even take a fricken shot at the goblin as it fled. Huh, not much use I guess." Burble came to Meepo's defense. This was wonderful! Exactly as Meepo planned! Then Burble tied a rag around Meepo's arm wound.

That was unprecedented. Burble was actually caring for him personally? What was wrong with this halfling? To be duped and manipulated was one thing, but Meepo didn't quite know what to make of this. He was unable to hide his shock and finally said, "Burble make nice with Meepo."

"Your welcome Meepo." He turned back to Embrill. "Like I said, a real healer. One time you healed someone, and then only after bitching and whining. You do what you will and I shall revel as you bleed out. I will not lift a single finger to assist you, May the bites of a thousand rats send you to the fever filled muck of your soul. May the bones of Riki fester in your stomach. Move out and shut up if you are to be the leader and front line."

"I wouldn't accept your help if I was lying bleeding at your feet, so you have no need for worries about that. And if not hiding my feelings makes me a 'nasty bastard', then I'll wear that label with pride." Embrill yammered as he spat at Burble's feet. "Better that that a greedy, two-faced theif."

"Hey, Hey now! Watch it with the theif comments....Some of us might take offense..." Rhea piped up.

"So I am two-faced am I? Have I yet done anything to attack you with weapons, stolen from you, picked your pocked? You seem to be of one mind, basically full of s***. You know, I have had enough of your damned mouth. Why don't you take your flea bag doggie lover and go away. Go back to your woods and dance around with your fricken farie friends. You have seemed never to really like to be around us, so why stay? Why don't you go join the goblins. Seems you and they have all the same traits, with backstabbing people you live around. Want no help? Well so be it. Get the hells away from here."

"So, you others have anything to say here?" Burble looked to the others to back him up and Meepo paid close attention to who would. The factions were forming more clearly now.

Bryant had been observing the whole exchange and added his remark now with a smile. "Now that's what I remember adventuring being like."

Meepo made his own stance known. "Burble make nice Meepo." He loaded his crossbow, but left it for the moment pointed at the ground. The worthless druid could make the first move.

"Not yet Meepo. He is an ass and a waste of a living creature. But we will not kill him here, He throws words around, yet can not seem to do anything useful. Just watch him. if he makes a move to attack, then by all means, bolt him deep, and I will back you up. We shall wait for the right time. I think we both can agree, ambush and timing are all that make it worth while." Burble cautioned Meepo.

"Um, no need for that, Embrill. Not in my view. I appreciate your presence and help, myself. And I really do like wolves." He stroked his pet bird. "They're at least as smart and loyal as falcons, perhaps smarter." Meepo wondered what the bird would taste like.

"Don't presume to order me around, little man. As far as picking my pockets go, you'd find precious little there to interest you, since I'm not laden with coin, which seems to be the only thing that warms your black little heart. Let's not forget that the naieve elf-girl died under your 'leadership'. Did you strip her corpse right away? Or did you at least let the body cool first?" "Everyone in this group may have their shortcomings - be it failed paladinhood, youthful ignorance or an attraction to the same sex," he said, casting glaces at each of the respective targets in turn "But the only one I genuinely dislike is -you-.
You know as well as I that you would kill your precious 'lackey' or sell him and his tribe up the river for a sack of coin. And you dare call me similar to the goblins?" Glaring at Burble he continued "If you want me to leave so badly, then make me do so yourself if you can stop setting off every trap in this complex long enough."

"Your full of s*** and you know it. Very well, you can take the lead then if you think I am so incompetent ass. Or stay there and lick your damn curs rear for all I care." Burble replied.

Lorn was puzzled. "Attraction to the same sex?" he asked skeptically as he scratched his head. Meepo made note once more of how stupid Lorn was.

"I think you two spating will draw the goblins here and let them catch us all by surprise," Bryant sighed. Meepo had been keeping his voice quiet, but Worthless Druid hadn't.

"Well the Goblins know we are here with the warnings the escaped one brought them, so I am not ashamed by the spat as you call it. I agree that we should head on, if you are wanting,  I am done here. This cretin wants the lead, he has it, You want to trust him more then I have tried to do, or if you lack faith in my overall goodwill, then so be it. I have never tried to hide my opinions, or what motivates me, but I have stood on the front line and risked my life for this mission, Has he?" Burble asked Bryant. He shook his head and stuck near Meepo.

Rowland tried to defuse things, "Now, now boys...behave yourselves and be nice to each other." He smiled and Meepo ignored him.

"Bah! Be nice to that piece of crap, I think not." Burble must have thought much as Meepo did of the boy's comments. His blood might be useful, but his thoughts were worthless.

Everyone came over the goblin wall behind Embrill and found a small room with a goblin body laying on the floor, sprawled out. It was one of those that had cast a javeling mere minutes ago. Meepo looked to Burble, meek as he could manage. He spoke in a low whisper. "Meepo go make sure dead?" Only a stupid human would be loud this close to goblins.

With Burble's permission, not that he would have stopped anyway, Meepo finished the goblin with a series of brutal spear thrusts. The last thrust cleaved open goblin skull and sent red goblin brains spilling out on to the floor. "Meepo not make nice with dragon-stealing goblins!" Meepo proudly proclaimed. Burble looted the body.

"You did real good Meepo and your right, You make really good Not Nice on those Dragon stealing scum and you just keep on killing them left and right." The halfling was either bereft of his senses or trying to flatter Meepo. He hadn't hit a single goblin with his crossbow. Meepo wasn't sure which. "Ok folks, shall we try to head out and see if we can find Calcryx or the goblins and clear out this area?" Burble asked the rest. He motioned for Meepo follow him as he moved towards the only door out of the room.

Embrill had had enough through. He moved past Burble with Riki in tow. Bryant deliberately hung back with Burble. Meepo placed Bryant in Burble's faction. Burble and Meepo stayed to the back. The worthless druid could catch a javelin or two for Meepo. As the druid stalked forward, Burble leaned over and muttered to Bryant.

"I am sorry to have caught you in the situation between Embrill and Myself. I mean you no ill will and you have not done anything to me that deserves the insults and abuse I may have spread." Meepo admired how quickly he sought to cement his alliances. Bryant looked surprised by the words, but nodded in acknowledgement. A warrior would be useful.

Down a short hallway the party went, Meepo and Burble at the rear. The hall opened up into a long room cut across by another breastwork. There were more goblins behind it who began yelling amongst themselves and brandishing javelins. Meepo recognized the one on the far end. He was the goblin that got away from the last fight. Riki growled as Meepo yelled, "Goblins! Meepo kill goblins!"


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*V-Goblins, Goblins, and More Goblins*

Wherein Meepo proves his worth.

Meepo pointed northward into the darkness beyond the limit of the humans' light as a chorus of harsh voices begin to yell and scrabble in the distance. "Goblins have wall!" Meepo cried out. He knew the fools couldn't see in the darkness. Humans had useless eyes, only good for staring at their stupid sun. Meepo heard they even had a god for the sun, but he didn't think even humans would be stupid enough worship something so dumb.

Burble laid a quick hand on Meepo's shoulder to hold him back "Do not charge Meepo, at least till there is light for the rest of us. Shoot at the biggest target and I will shoots as soon as I can see. I would hate to see you get killed before we can exact our revenge for the hit you already took. We still have to save Calcryx, so watch yourself." Meepo was beginning to be troubled by the halfling's manner. He was acting very strangely, as though if Meepo lived or died made a difference to him. Meepo made a mental note not to kill Burble unless he had to.

The Worthless Druid was yelling for light to be brought up while he tried to control his wolf mate. Meepo had to stop himself from smiling at the humans' predicament. He could see the goblins just fine over their little battlement, but all the mighty, powerful, and fearsome humans were blind and useless. The giants wouldn't last ten minutes in a kobold warren. Even goblins could manage that.

The race was on, though. If the humans could get light up before the goblins could hurl javelins, it was an even fight. If not, the humans were done for. Meepo didn't have much confidence in the goblins, but he started planning an escape anyway. Unlike human gods, Kurtulmak liked his kobolds smart and alive, not dumb and dead.

A javelin raced out of the darkness and just missed Rowland. Meepo's heart skipped a beat. That human had better live. Meepo wanted to kill him and drink his blood to get dragon magic. Worthless Druid made a fool of himself cowering against the wall like a hatchling while Rhea sat down her lantern and loaded her crossbow. She didn't fire, though. Worthless human, she must be waiting for the light. A javelin took her in the arm and Meepo nodded to himself. She deserved it, standing out where she could get killed like a typical human fool. Then another javelin narrowly missed Rowland and Meepo's mind seized once more on his fears of having to try to lick some blood off the floor before he ran for his life.

The stupidest human, Lorn, brought up his shield and tried to put it between Rhea and the goblins. Idiot. Meepo hoped he'd get a javelin stuck in him for his troubles. His shield wouldn't do him any good protecting someone else. The fool couldn't even manage that, though. He bumbled with the shield and ended up shielding more of the wall behind him than Rhea.

Yet another javelin flew and this one hit Rowland. Meepo was so shocked to see some of that precious blood, blood that should be his, slithering down his throat and carring the power of the dragons into him, spill out on the floor that he almost forgot to dodge a javelin himself. It missed his snout by less than an inch.

Worthless Druid's wolf mate went mad. Meepo thought it was mad all the time to take a Worthless Druid as a lover, but maybe it had human blood. That could excuse that sort of stupidity. Almost. It rushed off into the darkness, snarling and gnashing its teeth. It ran like the wind straight into the goblin's battlement. Meepo slammed his right foot down on his left to stifle the laughter building to near bursting within him. The wolf whimpered once before going back to its snarls.

Then another javelin hit Rowland, tearing into his leg! Meepo nearly fainted. All that precious blood was pouring out on the floor! The stones didn't need dragon magic, Meepo did. Then, it got worse. The wound finally knocked loose Rowland's wits enough for him to realize he should be doing something. He clumsily threw the lantern he was carrying towards the goblins and spoke a single word as he did. The lantern flitted suddenly upward in the air like a feather caught in a cave draft. For a moment Meepo appreciated the dragon magic the boy must have used to do that. Then the lantern tilted too far and burning oil came pouring out all over Rowland's leg.

Kurtulmak hated Meepo. That was the only explanation. This boy had the dragon blood. His thoughts were powered by dragon magic. Meepo could get that magic by drinking his blood. But all of the boy's blood was falling out on the floor and now the sun-besotted fool set himself on fire! Meepo almost threw down his crossbow right then and begged the goblins to kill him before the stupid humans did it accidentally. At least the goblins were trying to kill him.

Rowland came running for cover at the opening of the hallway, where Burble and Bryant already were, but Meepo was too dumbstruck by the boy's misadventure to notice. The light changed everything for the humans, though. Rowland's toss had landed the lantern just close enough that it lit up the goblins to the human's sun-blinded eyes.

Burble, Bryant, and Rhea all fired their weapons at the goblins...and each one missed. Maybe Meepo had heard wrong. Maybe humans couldn't see in the light any better than they could in the dark. They all waited for the light before trying, but with humans who knew what they were thinking?

Worthless Druid found his manhood and charged the goblin battlement and the dragon-stealers manning it. He brought his club down, shattering one of their skulls. He was still a Worthless Druid, though. Anyone could kill goblins with a club. One of the goblins pulled out a morning star and slammed the thing's business end into Riki's side. The druid's wolf howled in pain and Meepo heard ribs crack. Another goblin missed a swing at the Worthless Druid. What good were goblins if they couldn't even kill the druid?

Meepo's own shot at the goblins missed, but the humans were doing too many stupid things for him to dwell on it. Lorn was yelling and charging the goblins again. Once more the human gods rewarded stupidity and the man jumped the goblin's wall to come down amid them. The two goblins he landed between couldn't even have the decency to kill him before one of his rediculous stunts got Meepo killed.

The wolf was over the wall too, now. It mauled a goblin to death and started looking for others while Rowland slunk further under cover. One of the goblins moved up to block Lorn while another broke into a run out of the room. Meepo knew he must be going for reinforcements. It's what Meepo would have done. Soon there would be more goblins.

Then Burble lost his mind and ran up, leaping atop the goblins' wall and firing down at them with his bow. Meepo knew he was going to die here. All of these humans wanted to die and they were going to take him with them. Bryant might have just dropped a goblin with a bowshot, but the rest of them all wanted to die. That was the only way he could explain it. Worthless Druid was over the wall too, now. He dropped another goblin with his club.

At that moment, something snapped in Meepo's brain. Blood was rushing in his ears. He screamed out a battle cry and threw himself forward. The rage of battle was in him and he loved it. He bounded over the battlement in a smooth leap and tore after the goblin that had fled. He wasn't dying here. That goblin wasn't bringing reinforcements if he had anything to say about it. The goblins scored no more wounds while Meepo was charging past, but the wolf tore out the throat of another. Meepo's feet fell in already forming pools of goblin blood.

Meepo burst into a corridor on the trial of the runaway goblin. He drew up short as six tough looking goblins burst into the corridor in front of him. The first bowled past him, but Meepo took a piece of his hide before he and the others rushed clear, utterly ignoring him. The stupid goblins let Meepo get behind them.

The new goblins drew some more of the wolf's worthless blood. Meepo hoped the thing would die. Then maybe Worthless Druid would go into mourning and shut up for a moment or two.

Meepo came up behind a goblin fighting Lorn and shoved his spear through its side. The thing howled in pain and Meepo loved the feeling of the spear as it jostled against goblin ribs. Off to his side, the wolf dropped yet another goblin.

From far back in the room, a dwarf emerged. It was a huge dwarf. He must have been following the humans. He drew a sword and stalked purposefully towards Meepo for a few steps before he realized that the kobold was fighting the goblins. Then he shouted out as he rushed into the fighting, "What's with the killer kobold? Is he charmed or have we threatened to kill him if he doesn't help us out?"

So the dwarf was with the humans. Another pawn. He looked big and stupid enough to be easily manipulated. At least he wasn't brandishing some great flaming battle axe like some dwarves Meepo had heard stories about. A human boy, younger even than Rowland, followed behind the dwarf.

Burble answered the dwarf's question and named him, "Meepo is our Ally Sal, Just kill the fricken Goblins and I will explain later. Meepo, Sal is a friend, so let him through when he needs it."

Meepo calmly acknowledged Burble's words. "Meepo make nice with Sal!"

The boy, the new boy, Meepo amended, pegged a goblin with his sling as Sal charged up and clobbered a goblin. As that goblin fell Meepo's heart leaped. A goblin had just struck Worthless Druid. Maybe he'd die here and eliminate a threat. Burble dropped another with an arrow and Bryant fired an arrow of his own...straight into Sal's shoulder. Meepo was right. These humans would be the death of him.

All around the humans were being stupid. They didn't withdraw and attack the goblins with arrows or prepare an ambush. They stood their ground. Rhea ran up and leaped over the battlement. There were too many goblins. How long could they keep this up before everyone died? Meepo once again gave up on caring and let the wild rush of the battle roar through his veins. His spear tasted more goblin blood.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Goblins were dying, maybe the druid too. Meepo could get to like this. Lorn and Rowland both felled goblins and Meepo could feel the tide turning. But still another goblin struck the wolf. Things were looking up indeed. The goblins only needed to live long enough to kill Worthless Druid and his wolf mate. Bryant was chaging up too, now. He threw aside his bow and drew his sword while he ran, making a great leap high into the air and landing with one leg over the battlement, the other still behind it. Meepo chuckled quietly at the human's plight.

Kurtulmak's blood scream burst through Meepo's mind, a wild bestial howling that could only mean death was near. Be nearly fainted. But then Meepo felled a goblin of his own and all was well with his little world. Revenge was his at last. A goblin died for his suffering. The last two goblins broke and ran, but Meepo, Sal, Lorn, and Riki collectively took one down as it ran. The goblins were gone.

Meepo gleefully finished off the goblins still writhing on the floor while introductions were made. The dwarf, Sal, had been with the humans before. But he got sick and stayed behind to get well. He found the boy, Jaryth. The two of them returned when Sal was feeling better. Meepo lowered his opinion of human intelligence. Even their young begged to die. How did they survive with young like this? He shook his head and took up a fallen goblin's sword. He liked it more than his spear. The inch of blood and gore it was laying in didn't bother him. He just licked his fingers. The goblins were a bit overripe, but not at all unpleasant.

As Meepo looked up, he saw Bryant staring at his own arrow sticking out of Sal's shoulder. He seemed to grope for an apology, but finally settled on a simple shaking of his head and one word: "Damn"

The dwarf heard Bryant and turned around slowly. There was murder in his eyes, like those dwarfs Meepo had heard about. He wondered if Sal was about to find a burning axe somewhere. The burly dwarf hauled the arrow out of his shoulder with a single smooth motion and Meepo wondered if Kurtulmak's blood scream was for Bryant. Sal stalked towards the archer with arrow in one hand and sword in the other. He drew to within reach of the human and threw the arrow to the ground. "Clean this up and next time let's hope it hits one of them..." He told Bryant.

Meepo wasn't relieved at all. The blood scream didn't just come out of nowhere. Something was going to die. he looked nervously towards the door the last goblin had fled through and put a few quick strides between it and himself.

At least Rhea was bright enough to check the doors leading out of the room, seeing it they were locked, trapped, or if she could hear anything beyond them. Meepo scoffed at the notion of goblins making traps. "Goblins too stupid make traps. Meepo know how make traps. Kobolds have dragon blood. Kobolds know how make traps. Kobolds smart."

Rhea answered him without looking up from the door she was checking. "...if Kobolds are so smart why doesn't he know how to open the cold door?" She was referring to the door that Burble had tried to breathe fire on earlier to get opened. Meepo didn't have the damndest idea how to open the thing, but he thought up a simple-minded excuse that even Lorn should be able to understand.

"Meepo not know. Meepo think door elf magic, not powerful dragon magic. Kobolds too powerful to open door." That seemed to satisfy them.

When Burble suggested a withdrawal Meepo was eager to go along with it. The boy wanted to keep going, but Burble outright refused, pointing out how wounded much of the group was and how low Rowland was on dragon magic. Even Lorn wanted to retreat and rest. Meepo almost considered suggesting they press on on hearing the dumb human come out in favor of it. Anything someone that stupid wanted to do must have a dangerous flaw somewhere.

Lorn only wanted to fall back a single room, though. He thought the group should fortify there against the goblins. Burble wanted to go back to Yusdrayl or to his mule, wherever that was. Meepo'd rather not see Yusdrayl again, but he'd rather not sleep with the goblins only a few steps away either. They argued, and in the end it was decided that the better part of the humans would remain in the room Lorn wanted them in, using goblin caltrops to fortify the entrance. A smaller party would go up into the sunlight to get supplies from Burble's mule.

It was a stupid plan, but arguing with someone as stupid as Lorn would just be even stupider yet. He'd never see reason. How did a human that dumb live so long?

In the soon fortified room, more thorough introductions were made. Meepo didn't care how Sal came on the human boy any more than he did how Lorn managed to remember to breathe, but he nearly fell over in shock when the boy confessed that he had made the noise Meepo thought was Kurtulmak's blood screem. Once he recovered from the shock, though, he thought it was funny. He offered to share some goblin with the boy, but Jaryth refused him and climbed up a wall to get away from the dripping morsel of goblin flesh. Humans had no taste. The goblin was a little underripe, but not at all bad.

Discussion soon shifted to the party that would return to Burble's mule to get supplies. Meepo didn't want to be alone with the Worthless Druid, so he was happy to go with Burble. That is, until he learned that the mule was in the daylight world with the sun burning down on it. Meepo hated the sun. It was hot and burned his eyes. Why couldn't it be nice and comfortable like the dark? Finally he agreed to go, though. Better that than stay with Worthless Druid and his wolf mate or hang back in Calcryx's old chamber where his beloved clanmates could beat him again.

It was decided that Burble, Bryant, and Meepo would go and fetch supplies. Meepo braced himself for time in the too-hot, too-bright sun that the humans worshipped as though it would send down plagues and disaster on them like a proper, upstanding god would if they didn't fall into line.

Meepo saw the rats too late. He and Burble had just stepped into the hallway that would take them past the room with the cold door and fountain that spewed dragon water when he heard the telltale scrabbling on stone. He turned just as the rats, three of them fell on the trio.

These were not small rats like he fed Calcryx before the goblins stole her. These were huge rats as big as a kobold that lived out in the rubble beyond the citadel's walls. Their bites carried sickness and they'd had more than one foolish kobold for a meal. Meepo screamed a warning as the rats fell upon all three of them.

Bryant foolishly used his bow against them and got bitten badly in the leg while Meepo fell back and readied his crossbow. He rushed all the way into the fountain room and turned back to face the rats. But the rats stopped at Bryant and Burble, tearing and snarling at both and blood flowed. None of the three could get so much as a single hit in while the rats kept biting and pushing them back. They were now between Meepo's party and the rest of the group.

Burble screamed for help. "SAL! Help, I am being killed by rats!" Meepo would be glad for any help that came, even from the Worthless Druid...but he had a bad feeling about that scream. They were only fighting maybe thirty feet from where the rats could get into the citadel through a collapsed corridor.

Soon enough Sal screamed back, "I'm on my way, keep talking and see if you can head back our way..."

But Sal wouldn't arrive soon enough. Rats came pouring down the corridor, coming at the three in a wave of matted fur and filth-filled haws. Meepo could hear feet rushing from beyond them, but he wondered if the others would arrive in time. The rats pressed Bryant back even though he was using his sword now. Burble was bit again and tried to fall back. One rat lunged up at Burble and sank its disease-ridden teeth into the halfling's stomach.

Meepo saw blood gout out of the wound and Burble's hands flashed down as he dropped his dagger in shock. Burble reeled and desperately threw himself back and away from the melee, tossing caution to the rats with the rest of him they'd already eaten. He stumbled and staggered back with rats at his heels and finally collapsed, thick ropes of innards falling out from his grip and spilling to the floor.

Meepo fended off the rats pressing towards Burble and then immediately dropped to the halfling's aid. He ripped apart an old sack he'd been carrying and desperately piled Burble's insides back...inside. He was as delicate as he dared and then wrapped the halfling's wound in strips of sack.

Meepo worked desperately on Burble, doing all he could. He bitterly regretted not paying more attention to how old Ygridda bounds wounds as Burble's lifeblood oozed away and Meepo saw his innards still poking out. Frantically he tied bandage after bandage over Burble's gaping gut wound until finally he could do no more.

Genuine fear and desperation filling his voice, he screamed out "Meepo not let rats eat Burble! Burble make nice Meepo. Meepo make nice him! MEEPO GOOD LACKEY!"

Neepo stood and wheeled on the rats as they came past Bryant at him. "Meepo not make nice rats! Rats no eat Burble! Meepo kill! Come die, rats! Come die!" He slew the few that came for him and then fell to Burble's side again. He took Burble's head into his hands and cried out "Burble no! Burble come back! Meepo make nice! Meepo put insides back in! Meepo make blood stop! Burble come back! Meepo be good lackey!" Meepo checked the bandages again, all the while muttering to himself, "Burble come back. Burcle come back. Burble come back. Burble not die. Burble come back."

Finally, with nothing else to do, Meepo sat down and took Burble's head in his lap. He made sure the halfling could breathe as the battle raged on twenty paces away from him. Meepo whimpered while cradling Burble's head "Burble come back. Meepo make nice. Meepo be good lackey. Burble no leave Meepo with worthless druid and wolf he mates with. Worthless druid have wolf eat Meepo. Meepo be good lackey. Burble come back. Worthless druid not make nice Meepo if Burble die." He was hardly aware he was even speaking and his now-traditional name for Embrill came off his lips for once without a trace of scorn.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*VI-Tails Between Their Legs*

Wherein Meepo demonstrates behavior entirely unbecoming a kobold.

The battle was over. The rats had been killed off or chased away. Sal had gone into some kind of berserk fury and Worthless Druid used some kind of magic, but Meepo didn't care. He was watching over Burble.

Fear writhed in Meepo's gut. What would he do if Burble died? Burble was the only one who protected Meepo and defended him from Worthless Druid and his wolf mate. Without him, Meepo was doomed. Sal had fallen in the battle, so even Burble's friend wasn't around. If the halfling didn't make it, Meepo was going to have to do what all smart kobolds did and run like hell.

With the end of the battle, Lorn spoke first. He was showing his customary insight. "So what now?"

Burble shivered and groaned as Lorn spoke and Meepo made sure his bandages were holding.

Embrill looked at Lorn as if he'd lost his mind. It was the first smart thing Meepo could remember the Worthless Druid doing. "What now? I'll tell you what now, Paladin....we get the HELL out of here. That's 'What now'. We'd be as insane as that damn halfling if we thought spending the night here would work. I don't know about you, but I've had my share of fending rats off his festering carcass while trying to keep myself alive in the process. If you want to come back once we're all healed and prepared, fine. But I'm not staying here one moment longer."

The boy smirked at the Worthless Druid and said something about Lorn not being a paladin, but Meepo was too engrossed in caring for Burble to note the exact words. He did hear what Bryant said afterwards, though. "We don't have the supplies with us to stay here long enough to heal, and going to the surface for supplies in smaller groups is just going to give these beasts weaker groups to attack. Now two of us are going to have to be carried, meaning that at least four of us won't be fully ready for the next attack if we try to move from here." He rubs at the back of his head, still wound up from the battle, and lets out a long sigh to try to calm himself, "I don't know. My vote is to get the hell out of here. How long would we have to wait till Sal and Burble can at least walk again?"

Rhea interjected, "Something tells me ol' blood n guts here isn't going to be walking anywhere for a long while..."

Rowland looked up from finishing off the few rats still gasping on the ground. "I agree. We should return to the village."

Lorn sighed in response. "I guess it is the only option we have." Meepo was starting to pay more attention now. He couldn't let them leave Burble behind. If they left Burble behind they'd leave him too. Sal wouldn't let them do that, but Sal was unconscious. Damn dwarves were never awake with all their blood inside them when you needed them.

"No idea. And frankly, I don't care if Burble ever walks again. But regardless, we can't afford to sit around and wait for the next wave of rats to come back and clean up the scraps. I'm too worn out to try and charm them again. My plan is to make straight for the ravine and get topside. Forget this crawling at a snails pace nonsense. If there were traps, we would have set them off by now." Worthless Druid answered Lorn. He examined Sal a bit before continuing. "There's more than enough of us to carry the wounded. I suppose we should be comforted by the fact that Burble's small if we do decide to bring him along. We make this quick. Either Rhea or Riki and I should take the lead to be on guard for things.
Anyone has a better idea, make it known."

"Fine by me..." Rhea responded. Reflexively Meepo noted her agreement with the druid.

Meepo thought it was an excellent idea. With the Worthless Druid in front, he'd surely die first. The rest of the group might not like Meepo, but they didn't hate him either. He would have a chance if Embrill died. The thought excited him. If Burble died, all was not lost. That very same thought left him feeling sick inside, though. He wondered if one of the rats bit him when he didn't notice and infected him with their disease.

"We really should help out Burble and Sal, and everyone else hurt." Jaryth said as though no one else had thought of it. If Meepo weren't busy tending Burble and calculating how he would survive if the halfling didn't he'd have noted the boy was as simple-minded as the rest of the humans.

"Here's what I suggest. Embrill and I will take point, drawing out any enemies that my be hiding along our paths. The rest of you will follow with Byrant and Rowland carrying Sal while Rhea and Meepo carry Burble. Jaryth should take the rear guard position. Now let's get moving." Lorn had a plan. Meepo was thrilled. Lorn's plan to camp in the citadel was what got them into this mess in the first place.

"If that's what you want..." Rhea agreed with Lorn. Wonderful. Meepo could feel death looming over him again and casting a cold shadow over his dreams of revenge. As Meepo carefully took up his end of Burble, he decided to make a gamble.

"We take Burble to Yusdrayl? She make nice Burble." Yusdrayl might kill them all, but it was a shorter trip than up to the surface world. That meant less time for rats or goblins to catch them holding two bodies and unable to fight. Meepo would feel bad about it if he had to drop Burble, the halfling's skull shattering on the stone and his brains leaking out, to run for his life. Afterward he'd feel bad, anyway.

"Take him wherever the hell you want. I'm going topside." Worthless Druid was never shy about sharing his opinion.

Meepo let out a hissing sigh and shook his head. "Meepo hate sun." Meepo hated lots of other things too. Druids, wolves, humans...but now was not the time to mention them.

"Wait... They might have some kind of healer or something that can heal them enough to make it easier to go topside. I'm not saying lets not go up, what I'm saying is let's stop there first to see if they can help...." "Or..... they might eat the wounded.... I'm not well versed in kobold customs..." Rhea came to Meepo's rescue. The fool actually thought Yusdrayl might help out of the kindness of her heart.

Lorn smirked like the idiot he was. "Maybe we could trade them for supplies."

"Knowing them, that sounds pretty likely." The Worthless Druid was right. It was likely. Halfling and dwarf weren't at all common dishes. Meepo had a taste for dwarf himself. "Well if we do, and anything else shows up, the kobolds can fight them. I'm done for today. But I'm not spending any more time down here than I have to. I want to rest and that's NOT happening in this deathtrap. Those spoiled brats are probably long dead by now anyway."

An added bonus. The goblins could follow the group and kill a few dozen kobolds for Meepo. Maybe they could kill the druid too. After he was dead Meepo would have to thank him for pointing out an unforeseen benefit of his plan. But Meepo had to dispel some of their fears or the humans might be too on guard.

"Meepo no eat Burble. Meepo good lackey!" Meepo said indignantly. "Kobolds only eat dead goblins...maybe worthless druid if he not make nice." Let them think he wasn't planning on drinking Rowland's blood and defiling the druid's corpse after politely thanking it for its insight. After all, Meepo was a civilized kobold.

"I suggest we ask the kobolds for shelter for a couple days, at least. If they say no, we can always head back to the village." Rowland was coming to Meepo's aid now. Maybe he could use the boy for something other than his blood. Meepo wouldn't discard his plan to drink Rowland's blood, but he might put it off if the sorcerer proved to have other uses.

Meepo nodded his head enthusiastically. "Kobolds make nice! We bring back Calcryx. Kobolds make nice. Yusdrayl help...maybe not make nice worthless druid and wolf lover, but kobolds make nice."

"ALL of us... or we're not finding a damned thing." So Rhea would stand with the Worthless Druid still. Meepo noted her as a devout anti-Burbleite.

Meepo grudgingly guaranteed Embrill's safety. "Kobolds make nice worthless druid and wolf mate."

"So off we go to Yusdrayl's house under the earth?" Rowland asked eagerly. Meepo retracted his previous doubts about the sorcerer's stupidity.

But Embrill wasn't satisfied with Meepo's word. The druid glared at Meepo and wheeled on him. His eyes narrowed into thin slits as he stalked up to the kobold. "Listen to me now and listen good, you scaly little waste" he hissed coldly. "I have no compunctions whatsoever about slitting your worthless throat right here and now and watching you bleed out right next to him." Embrill pointed at the unconscious Burble with his speartip and took another step forward. "In fact, I don't see why I don't just go ahead and do it. After all, you're not quite so brave of a 'lackey' without him around are you?"

Meepo got ready to run. Embrill's hand darted to the hilt of his skinning knife as he
spat the word 'lackey' out with as much venom as he could muster. "You're nothing but a whining, yapping, *stinking*, vile, filthy little coward who forgets that he's not boasting with his whole tribe here to back him up. After all, *you* were the one who lost the dragon. I'm sure Yusadryl would *thank* me for ending your miserable existance."

This was no good. The druid was realizing too much. Meepo surreptitiously looked for an escape route.

He stepped closer still and leaned down so as to be on eye level with Meepo. He punctuated his words with firm prods to the kobold's chest with his fingertip. "And if you *ever*(poke) refer to *me*(poke) as 'worthless druid or to *Riki*(poke) as my 'mate' again*(poke)...you'd best pray to your God that you never fall asleep, because if you do, you'll wake up choking on your own blood as you die."

If Meepo made it out of this alive, he was killing the druid. He didn't care how, or when, but it would happen.

Embrill stared hard into Meepo's red eyes for a long moment before slowly rising back to his full height. After a moment he turned to the group. "If we go visit them, we take only what we need. And once Sal is able to move, we head back up."

"Meepo call you Embrill. Wolf is Riki. Now make nice Burble?" His red eyes smoldered with determination. Let the idiots think he was set on helping Burble. Meepo was determined to get out with his skin. He'd miss Burble, but not more than he'd miss living. Rhea was barely containing her laughter.

"Don't druids usually preach kindnes and acceptance to all living things? Interesting..." Jaryth mused. No one answered him.

"My only promise is that I won't 'not make nice' with you....for now. Now let's get moving." That gave Meepo time to work at least. The group made it the rest of the way back to Yusdrayl without incident. But she wans't just going to let them rest and heal in her territory out of the goodness of her heart.

"I do not see Calcryx with you. Is he back in his cage? And why do you bring your dead here?" Yusdrayl demanded. Rowland stepped forward to talk.

Rowland bowed his head respectfully. That was a good start. Yusdrayl liked groveling. Then he spoke, "Your eminence, we simply have not yet completed the mission. We have struck a terrific blow against your goblin foes, but we have been grievously wounded ourselves, and we have spent our spells. We seek an opportunity to recover from our wounds and regain our spells, so that, in a few days' time, we may complete the mission and return Calcryx to you." He paused, then added, "And our two companions are not dead. However, they are grievously wounded."

"Dead or wounded is nothing to me. You ask another boon when you haven't completed your last task? Very well, but you shall bring me the head of Durnn, the goblin chief. That is my price for your shelter, no less." Yusdrayl sunk the group further into her debt. Meepo expected as much.

"Before we can accept your generous offer, your eminence, we must confer briefly among ourselves."

"Confer until your bones grow moss, but have an answer before you test my patience."

Rowland gathered the group close. "Well? Opinions, anyone?"

Bryant was the first to answer. "All choices I see I do not like at all, but at least these kobolds need something from us, those rats out there only see us as food."

"Burble and Sal are in bad condition. The less we move them the better." Lorn must have had to think hard to come up with that. He even scratched his chin before he said it.

"We probably should stay here. We can't get Calcryx if we're half-dead. Y'know?" Another cunning observation from Jaryth, complete with a grin.

"I don't think we need to be any further indebted to these vermin that we have to. "Can any of you say you honestly trust sleeping near them? If you do you're more insane that Burble was. I can do what I can to help get Sal back on his feet, but I'd be a lot more comfortable up in the open air. We're safer in the woods than here." Meepo hoped some wood monster would eat Embrill.

"Meepo say stay here." He wasn't giving up this fight just yet.

"But getting there is the real trick. I don't see all of us surviving another rat attack." Bryant was the voice of reason and in the end the group decided they'd listen to it. Meepo would keep an eye on this one. He was in Burble's faction and might make a suitable replacement dupe. Embrill wanted to run, Rhea didn't want to risk more time exposed to rats, but in the end the group opted to take Yusdrayl's offer and was shown to an empty room where they could rest and heal.

The night passed quietly. Embrill tended the wounded, except for Burble and Meepo. In a few hours, Burble woke with a start. "Meepo? Meepo, are you ok? What happened? Sal? Sal! Is he alive?"

"Meepo not hurt, Burble. Dwarf alive. He hurt bad. Rats not make nice him. But W-" Meepo stopped suddenly and his red eyes darted up to look at Embrill. He continued after a moment speaking more carefully. "Embrill make nice Dwarf and he look better now. Meepo make nice Burble. Meepo put Burble's insides back inside when they fall out." The kobold finished proudly. He started out just reporting facts, but on some level he was proud of how he'd put Burble back together. Meepo wondered if he had the rat sickness.

Burble was taken aback, "Meepo, you have done what I never thought possible or expected from you. You saved me? I am very, very proud of you. My thanks my friend. Yes, I think I can say with pride and true feelings Meepo, you are my friend. You saved me, you helped Sal, who has been my traveling companion and friend. You make me proud to have you at my side my friend and I give you my hand. " Burble held out his hand and Meepo shook it.

"No longer can you be my lackey. You are my companion in blood and I am in your debt. Your talents, my faith, and the blessings of the Gods have shined here. I swear to heal you when you are hurt to stand by you and your goals. I give you my blade to guide and fight with. You have my word my friend, that no matter what may happen, that I will be at your side for as long as you will have me. Olidamara rolled his dice of chance and graced me with life again. Lorn showed me this with his healing and care, but it would have been for naught without your binding my gut wound."

Meepo had hardly paid any mind when Lorn bound Burble's injuries after Embrill refused. He was worrying about his own life at the time

"Thank you Meepo, Mighty Kobold and descendant of Dragons." Meepo didn't know what to say or think. He was shocked at the halfling's words and he felt...he felt...warm and...happy... He nearly vomited.

"Meepo not Burble lackey?" Meepo mulled it over. That cloying, warm feeling grew inside him and he could feel it washing away all his sensible plans. Meepo actually liked Burble. "Meepo make nice Burble! Burble make nice Meepo!" He wheeled on Embrill. "Meepo not lackey now. Meepo Burble's companion. Burble make nice Meepo."

On some level, Meepo knew he was being stupid. He was trusting and caring about a halfling he'd known for all of a day...and he liked it. He wanted to do it more. He'd lost his mind, but Meepo couldn't help but feel happy inside. It was like when he was lost in bloodlust fighting the goblins, only better.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*VII-The Humans' Sun*

Wherein Meepo still can't get a good night's sleep

Burble pumped Meepo's hand back and even clapped the kobold on the shoulder. "That is right my friend, you make VERY good nice with Burble. You did an awesome and wonderful dead here. I would not have lived without your joyous and powerful dragon healing. You shine as your ancestors."

Meepo drew himself up with absurd pride. He still wanted to vomit at his empty-headed feelings, but he liked that he'd helped Burble.

Burble hadn't missed the looks Meepo was throwing at Embrill. "Meepo, did something happen while I was in my coma? Did Embrill say something I should know? Embrill not make nice?" Burble looked between Meepo and the druid. Now was Meepo's chance to test his friendship with Burble. He…wanted…it to be genuine...however revolting the thought was. Would Burble really stand with him against Worthless Druid?

Meepo told him gravely. "Embrill not make nice. Embrill say Meepo call him Worthless Druid or Riki his mate again, Meepo die in sleep."

Burble turned coldly to Embrill, his face unreadable. He carefully sized up the druid. "I see that you do not seem to hide your spots then Embrill. That you would leave me for the rats is a given. That you hate Meepo you have not hid, but you would threaten him when he tries to help me? Are you that sick as a bastard? Hells you fool. You're a druid? Or are you some Hextoite? You're as bloodthirsty as the Kobolds and Goblins that you claim to be against, yet all you seem to spout are insults and crap. Why the hells to you stay then if we are such a affront to you. Go back to your twigs then and leave us alone. Just remember, go after Meepo, and your dead. Simple enough. I have tried to have a truce with you, but you seem not to be even be able to accept that."

Meepo was astonished. Burble would kill for him. This was incredible. He was so surprised that he forgot to revise his plans for the certainty of Burble's support. The halfling's god magic might be useful. Meepo had never known Burble had it in him, but only moments ago he had healed himself of all his wounds and mended Sal's as well.

Then Burble turned to the others, "You with him on this folks?" Meepo's mind snapped back to the present. He knew Rhea was an anti-Burbleite. Lorn was hard to classify. He'd scorned Burble before, but then helped him when he was comatose. He'd helped Embrill too. Sal was definitely in Burble's camp, and Bryant too…but who would stand with Worthless Druid of the others? The lackwit with dragonblood had shown no allegiance. What about the new human boy, the one who could climb walls?

Jaryth spoke first. "OH give it a rest!!! Meepo's a bloody flaming KOBOLD, not Tharizdun!!! If he was Tharizdun, ya, then I could see quarreling about this. But he's not, so give it a rest!!"

Meepo put Jaryth tentatively in Burble's camp. The boy wasn't a strong Burbleite, but he might grow to be if handled properly. Then Rowland shifted all the alliances by providing a third option.
"Agreed. Can't we all just...get along?" Meepo nearly tried to drink his blood right there. So long as someone kept arguing for compromise then the fools might allow Worthless Druid to survive and stay with the group. Meepo could have none of that. With a mental sigh he realigned Jaryth with Rowland's compromise camp. Stupid humans.

The druid had finally decided to answer Burble's charges, though. Maybe this would polarize the group again and split the compromisers. Meepo hoped the Worthless Druid would be the fool he'd been before and hurl more insults.

"It's nice to see that your attempt at civility was all a front. You haven't changed any either it seems. You know you would do the same to me if the situation was reversed."

Yes! The dissention would continue. The distrust would grow. This was perfect!

"As I said, so long as Meepo shows me the basic courtesy of using my name instead of the insult *you* taught him, he'll be fine. Have I called him derisive names? I think not. As I said, it's nice to see that this change of heart was nothing but a lie."

Then Meepo nearly ripped out his horns. The druid directed the conflict right back at him again. Now all attention would be focused on Meepo. Meepo would be seen as the problem. Why couldn't the Worthless Druid just keep railing against Burble?! As long as Burble was the problem, there was less chance of the group uniting against Meepo.

After a moment, though, Meepo's brain was flooded with human blood again. His frustration bled out of him and he felt empty inside. He was still thinking of Burble as a tool, something to distract the group away from him. Burble had been nice to Meepo, but Meepo was still trying to manipulate him and use the halfling as a shield against Embrill. That was no way to treat a friend. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to take his sword and fall on it. Meepo was utterly disgusted with himself. Now only was he using a friend, he was upset about doing it!

What had these humans done to him? Had they infected him with their diseases? Is that why they were so stupid, they had brain rot?

Burble had a quick reply, "Meepo stands by me and my friends. Can you say the same about you? Have you any, except for your puppy, who would fight to save your life? And I would trust his word a lot more then yours in any case."

Meepo felt even worse now. Burble was still defending him, and he'd been thinking of the halfling as no more than a patsy. He wondered if he'd lose his scales and grow tall like a human now. He was starting to think like them. Meepo had never had a more depressing thought.

And Burble kept doing it! “Meepo may be just a Kobold young squirt, but he is also my friend and someone I trust. You know nothing of this situation. Your entitled to have your opinion, but remember, Embrill is faithless in trust. I stand by those that I would work with, I roll the dice of my Gods, Can you say the same with your own beliefs? As for your naming of the Dark One, I shall hope that you do not go to his endless waste when you die."

Jaryth shrugged, "He has no power over me." The boy was stupider than Meepo thought. He must be on the same level of idiocy as the dragonblooded one. Human gods were fools…except maybe Burble's…but there weren't powerless fools.

"Well we shall have to see, if and when you die then Jaryth I will wish you well then for your own inner abilities, should they prove true." Burble answered Jaryth.

Burble turned to the dragonblooded one now. Rowland the peacemaker's faction was already crumbling. "If you remember, I tried, on more than one occasion to offer to work with and even...get along…with Embrill. He has treated me with scorn, insults and hatred at every turn. Your naivety makes you not see the truth in his deceptions. He spouts his ill manner left and right, You might reflect on that in the real world, his actions will lead you to a grave. Well mine might do the same, but at least you know where I stand. Doubt you can with him."

"He looks down on just not me, but this whole cause, I am at a loss why the bugger would even be here. Makes you think, just what is it that drives this pile of dung. I have been upfront with you from the start. I am in this for the money and treasure, as well as to going some possible contacts. You have your own reasons, but Embrill, Druid of Dung?"

That was a good question. Meepo didn't know why Worthless Druid was here. No, Meepo corrected himself: Worthless Dung Druid.

Jaryth butted in again, "What is our cause? I'm curious." Meepo thought he was curious in more than one way. The boy was outright insane.

Embrill spoke up first, "I hide nothing. And my threat to him had nothing to do with him helping you. He can stuff your guts in a sack and keep them over his shoulder every time you fall for all I care."

"Your still a piece of dung for your actions Embrill. Like I have said, why the hell do you stay if you have such strong hatred and ill will for myself and the Kobolds. If your opinion is so great and mighty, and your convictions for Good, then why do you not just kill us all and have your vengeance. Gods above, you're an overall waste of air. So full of it and smelling like crap."

Meepo nodded to himself. Embrill was definitely the Worthless Dung Druid now.

"Well I for one am here to help to rescue or at least bring back the rings of two whelps that came here with a paladin and their ranger scout. Their dad's henchman hired us, for 250 gold pieces each, to get their signet rings or the kids themselves. They came this way a couple of weeks ago and have not been seen since. Plus a chance to stiff it to some goblins might be nice as well. Like I said, I am in it for the money. Nature boy seems to sneer at that, but hey, I am honest about it, not sneaking about with these unsaid motivations." Burble told Jaryth. Meepo could respect that sort of motivation.

Talk of gold aside, Meepo could tell Worthless Dung Druid had lost his patience.

The half-elf lost his composure and broke out in a full blown laugh that, coming from him, sounded more disturbing than mirthful. After a few moments, he calmed down enough to speak.

"How can you sit and blatantly LIE like that and sleep with a good conscience at night? Are you living in TOTAL delusion?!?!? I have been NOTHING but honest as to how I feel about anyone here. The only person I have stated my severe distaste for is YOU! YOU!"

He pointed his finger at Burble with emphatic stabbing motions. "You call me worthless. I doubt Sal and Rhea would agree on that. They may not LIKE me, nor am I asking them to. But worthless? Pah!”

“And if I'm not a total liar as you seem to be calling me, I remember Riki and I wading forward into the fray with the goblins and risking our lives to help EVERYONE out. Did I turn and run? No. Did I sit back and watch and smile and let everyone get slaughtered? No. And I didn't do it for money. Whatever my reasons are, they are MINE. But greed was never a factor. '

Worthless Dung Druid was as stupid as Meepo had hoped.

"I have grown sick of your LIES. I have grown sick of your bragging and boasting and strutting as if the whole of the world exists only at your sufferance. I will tolerate it NO longer!!! As of this point, you - Burble, no longer exist to me. Your words are as the wind. Your blood pooling on the ground when you die is as water from a spilled cup. You exist no more. My eyes see through you."

Meepo wished he could say the same about Embrill.

The Dung Druid took his knife from his belt and cut a small gash on his palm. He didn't wince and his face showed no trace of pain as he watched the blood well up in his palm. The half-elf then raised his palm to his mouth and licked the small pool of blood from it. He swished it in his mouth for a second and then spit on the ground at his own feet as he finished his oath and turns away to the others.

"If you wish me to leave, tell me. I would at the least expect honesty from you. If you wish the use of my healing gifts, tell me. If you wish it from other sources, then that is your choice. I am done with this." Embrill returned to his corner of the room and dropped down, looking very weary.

He was tired, frustrated, and weak. Meepo now considered him less of a threat. He didn't have the willpower to withstand a long struggle. Meepo decided to defy the druid openly.

"Meepo still see Burble. Meepo still hear Burble. Meepo not care what Embrill see or say. Meepo good...companion." The word still tasted strange in his mouth.

Burble didn't waste long in composing a reply, "You snort as much as I do druid, Ok, I have said it before, many a time, Yes, GO AWAY. I DO want you to leave. Take your cur and fly back to your precious woodlands. Go dance with the fairies and fly with the bees. I could care less if I am nothing to you. Remember, I asked you once for healing, and you refused. I asked you to work with us, and you treated me with derision. Go off and sulk. Yes, you healed Rhea and from what I heard, stopped Sal from bleeding out. That much I grant you, But your attitudes , temper tantrums, and over all attitude show that you are worthless as a companion in adventuring. Take up your body and mouth and go spout your dung somewhere else. You hate it so much down here? Go sniff your flowers." Burble kept away from Embrill, as knowing the others weren't as firmly against the druid as he was.

Burble then turned to Lorn and Bryant and shrugs his shoulders. "Well he asked, so I responded, Take it for what you will.”

"Meepo, best you stay as far away from the dung sniffer, as I doubt he could control his base nature." Meepo wondered if Lorn and Bryant would take Burble's side in the dispute. Burble seemed to think so.

"What Embrill is saying is that he will act like a spoiled child. He will pretend that I am not here. He will try, though I doubt he will succeed, to pretend that anything I say does not happen. He will continue on his rants and live out his fantasies. Thanks Meepo, you are a good companion, and I appreciate that. Well lets get some more rest, maybe tonight, if your willing, we can make a dash to my mule, so we can retrieve the gear there. If not, we shall have to go into town soon to get food.”

“Um, well...I guess this is a kind of resolution. Burble and Meepo have nothing to do with Embrill and Rikki, and vice versa. I think we can manage that." Rowland timidly offered.

Meepo thought Burble was mad to risk another attempt to get to the damned mule. But Meepo found a way to make the idea of the trip a bit more tolerable. "Meepo will go when sun down. Sun not make nice Meepo. Dwarf come too?"

“I do not know what Sal will do. if he consents, I would love to have him at our side, as he is a good friend and a good warrior, If not, well maybe Bryant or one of the others. I understand why you do not want to go out in the sun and I accept that, Just hurts me as I am not like you or Sal, I can not see without light." Burble said.

"Burble bring torch. Then he see." Meepo reminded him.
Burble checked the group's supplies. "Well as far as I can see, we only have enough light to last us till around noon, unless you folks have some more oil or torches on you. I have more up on the mule, but we have to get there to get it. So we either stay here in the dark, make a break and head up to the surface now while we still have light and then make a camp up there, or even go back to town. So what say you all?"

Meepo sighed. He was going to have to go up under the humans' cursed sun. Bryant finally spoke up, "I say that now we are healed up enough to move and maybe even fight.
We get back to the surface, either just back to the mule or back to town doesn't much matter to me. And as all together as a group, I don't feel like being a snack for he rats again."

Embrill agreed with Bryant, "Agreed. It's certainly time now that we're all mobile again."

"I am game for making a try to the surface and I will say that I would like to get all we can from the mule. I am not sure we need go all the way back to town, but making a camp near the entrance, setting watches and healing another day or two would be good. I think if we do head to town that we shall have to combine our resources, as well have little to show for our efforts, We have just a little gold and the weapons that Sal was going to look over were left behind. We will want to stuck up on another lantern and more torches, as well as rations. I can keep us in fresh water, but that is about it."

This was no good. The sun was bad enough, but Burble wanted to go into some human town? Rowland, astoundingly, offered a counterargument.

“We need to consider one thing. Going topside may not go over well with our hostess. Or maybe our promise to fulfill our pledge is good enough." He turned to Meepo, "How do you think your queen will react if we go topside to resupply and recover for a couple days, if we give her our pledge that we'll return to fulfill our promise?"

"Yusdrayl send Meepo to see return Calcryx and kill goblin chief. Yusdrayl
not care so long Meepo with." That should keep him alive a bit longer. Meepo didn't much want to stay with his kobold clanmates, but he didn't want to see the humans' sun either.

Burble looked to Meepo and sadly smiled. "Meepo, it looks like we are going to go above before it is dark out. I know that you do not want to go and I would not ask you to. Stay here and rest and we shall return. It may be that we shall have to go back to Oakridge and if so we may be gone more then a day, though I would rather not. I will return and together and with the others, we shall rescue Calcryx and get you your totem back. For now, be well my friend."

Meepo let out a hissing sigh. He was going to hate this, "Meepo come. Sun not
make nice Meepo, but Meepo stay with Burble."

Up the group went, through the ruins and up a long flight of stairs into the cursed sun. The second it touched Meepo he felt like he was burning up. His eyes ached like some gnome had ripped them from their sockets and crushed them. Burble had thanked him for coming, but the sun still beat on him like the Worthless Dung Druid must want to.

They found Burble's mule still alive and brimming with supplies and the group settled down to spend a night in the sun and rest more. Meepo wanted to throw up. Couldn't these humans see the damned sun? It was right above them, burning like dragonfire. Meepo wanted to be sick.

When the night came he was finally spared the unrelenting assault. He shared a watch with Burble. There was the druid, laying on the ground next to his wolf mate. His throat was exposed. Meepo could slit it in a second. He looked from the druid to Burble, Burble to the druid, and back again. He could almost taste Embrill's blood.

Yes, it would slide over his lips with a taste of wolf meat. Meepo could see it now. The blood would spill out so rich and red…it would taste like vengeance, triumph. He even took a hesitant step towards the druid, his hand falling to his sword. Two quick, smooth strokes…just two strokes and it would all be over. The firelight cast undulating shadows over Embrill's throat, an emptiness begging to be filled by stolen goblin steel.

And then in the morning, the humans would kill Meepo for killing Embrill. Meepo shook his head and turned away from the druid. He might be acting like a human, but he hadn't sunk to quite the full level of human stupidity yet. With a sigh Meepo gave up for the moment his dreams of dead druids and wolves for breakfast.

In time, Meepo and Burble's watch ended. Meepo sought his sleep and found dreams of dead druids waiting for him. He'd settled into a peaceful torture chamber, with Riki being stretched on the rack while Embrill was forced to watch when he heard the first screams. His dream vanished and Meepo opened his eyes to see bundles of sticks, about his size, attacking Bryant and Rowland, who had the next watch. While two or three attacked the watchers, more were filtering into the camp as Bryant and Rowland's cries awakened the others.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*VIII-Sir Thurston of Landrigard.*

Wherein sticks and paladins do not make nice.

They came silently out of the night, taking the only watch without some way to see in the darkness unawares. By the time Meepo was woken by Rowland's and Bryant's screams the two were already wounded and more of Rowland's precious dragonblood was spilling on the ground.

The fight was going well, though. Meepo could feel the thrill of bloodshed run through him as he saw red streaks appear on Riki's flank and saw burning sap left behind in the wound. Meepo had been a bit slow in waking, but as long as he was awake now and the Worthless Dung Druid's wolf-mate was bleeding the fight couldn't be all bad.

Sal charged into the fray with a dwarf battle cry. Long and short sword alike struck the stick-beast before him. The long sword cut it nearly in two and before it could so much as begin to fall the short sword came in a mighty thrust, piercing the twig being's body and throwing its wooden corpse high up into the air over Sal's head. It lands behind him in an explosion of rotten bark. Meepo made a note to ensure he stayed on Sal's good side. He was glad Burble and the dwarf were friends.

Rowland hurled a magical bolt at one of the stick-things and Meepo was suddenly reminded of his precious dragonblood, at risk and dripping into the ground. His bloodlust vanished into a surge of worry. The saplings gone wrong couldn't kill Rowland and drink his blood. That was Meepo's job! The kobold saw all that precious blood pouing out into the dirt and nearly shot the human right there so the blood would be safe after the fight.

Embrill stood in battle near Riki, swinging a wooden cudgel and bashing at a stick-monster. Meepo took aim on it. It was the twig thing closest to Rowland, and if Meepo wanted to drink Rowland's blood he'd rather kill the lad himself. Stealing his dragon magic might not work if Meepo didn't kill Rowland with his own hand. Channeling his lust for power born of dragonblood into his aim, Meepo fired his crossbow.

The string twanged and the wood lurched backward in his hands as the bolt flew. It sailed through the fire-lit air. The bolt passed over the fire and lodged cleanly in Embrill's back even as Meepo cried out, "Meepo kill twig thing!”

Meepo stood for a second dumbstruck in shock. He'd shot the Worthless Druid. It was a dream come true. Worthless druid blood was seeping from the wound. His own kobold-crafted crossbow bolt was sticking from the small of the druid's back. He barely stifled the laughter and grin that were rising up in his throat. The druid wasn't dead yet. Meepo improvised a long string of kobold curses, hoping the druid didn't secretly speak the tongue of dragons well enough to know that most of the curses were about how Meepo missed shooting him some place instantly fatal.

"Meepo sorry, Embrill. Meepo wanted kill wood thing fighting Riki," Meepo offered, hoping the druid stupid enough to believe him. Embrill beat down another twig-beast and raised his club once more. Meepo realized that club would shatter his skull as easily as it shattered wood. "Meepo not mean shoot Embrill!" he yelled as he turned and ran from the fray and into the darkness he knew the druid wouldn't be able to find him in. The last of the stick-beasts fell a few moments later, ending the battle.

More arguments began, but at last Meepo warily returned to the group with Burble's assurances of safety. It was only a few scant hours before dawn, when the humans' son would rise again to torment Meepo. Since several of the humans had taken bad wounds, though Worthless Dung Druid and his wolf-mate were still alive, the humans decided to go to one of their towns.

Meepo didn't want to go. He desperately didn't want to spend any more time under the humans' sun, let alone expose himself to more of them. But he didn't have a choice. Even Burble intended to go and Meepo didn't rat his chances alone with his clan too highly. He might fare better with the rats. So he steeled himself for another day under the bludgeoning sun the humans were stupid enough to worship and more humans stupid enough to do so.

Half the day wore away, with the sun rising and making Meepo's every step a wincing agony. He hung to the far side of the group, with the others between himself and Embrill. Even if the druid hadn't killed him yet, there was no guarantee he wouldn't later. Humans were stupid, Meepo couldn't count on them doing something intelligent like immediately slaying foes.

Meepo had hardly set foot on the humans' road and between two of their huts before one of their females spotted him. She gasped and threw her door shut between Meepo and herself. The kobold hissed angrily at her. Yusdrayl would have killed one like that in a moment, too stupid to conceal it's loathing and plot his demise later.

A great stir arose as Meepo moved towards the inn the humans' had mentioned and were going to. Humans quickly began leaving the streets. A cluster of men remained at the front door of the inn, facing the group with unfriendly expressions. Meepo knew they were for him. Humans were stupid, but they weren't stupid enough not to have ever heard of the power and might of kobolds. They must be afraid of him. Yes, they knew him to be of the dragonblooded race.

Each human clutched a wooden staff or axe handle and a few sport proper weapons, though these were spotted with rust. They handled the rusted weapons nervously but relaxed in a moment when a large, imposing figure strode out of the inn in shining steel armor. A snowy white staff was strapped across his back and he regarded Meepo and the others from within an open-faced helm. On his breastplate is emblazoned a full Luna being eclipsed by the smaller crescent of Celene, the pale suns that plagued the human world even during the night.

His full body was encased in steel, leaving little of him to see save for his face, handsome if hard with cold blue eyes. Handsome to humans, that is. Meepo thought his face was weak and fleshy looking. It had that soft, pink flesh humans called a body covering. Not a proper scale was to be seen on him. Meepo cut a far more dashing figure. He even had hair on his face, above his lip. It drooped down to the sides of his mouth. He drew a finely made long sword much like Sal's, Bryant's, and Lorn's and held it before him.

Only when steel was drawn did he speak. "Hold, and explain yourselves heretics. How deeply in sin do you dwell to consort with this servant of darkness, whom no shadows can hide from mine eyes?" He leveled the point of his sword at Meepo. "His taint befouls this village already deep into darkness and given over to chaos. I am Sir Thurston of Landrigard and I will know what you mean bringing this devil into the light of day. Are you so blind that you cannot see how far in depravity his kind are mired? Surely any fool can see that this scaled wretch is so unholy that the sun itself strives to purge him from its sight." Sir Thurston's voice was deep and hung on the edge of fury.

Meepo had heard of Thurston's kind, human knights of their stupid sun. They were like witch-doctors, but didn't have as much magic. Human gods were weak and couldn't give good magic to their followers. Kurtulmak was wise and only gave magic to those who deserved it and were dragonblooded as well. Human gods gave it to everyone, no matter how stupid they were. He knew the human had the night-suns on his armor instead of the day-sun, but he didn't expect a human to be bright enough to know the difference.

"Ho, Sir Knight." Jaryth said as he stepped forward. "We do not dwell in sin, for, can there be no greater good than to deliver one out of the foul Pits, and into the blessed Light of the Gods?" Jaryth looked at Thurston with an expression of slack-jawed idiocy.

Sir Thurston lowered his sword as Jaryth stepped forward and heard his words. Only a human would be stupid enough not to strike down a foe when they drew close and let down their guard. Jaryth's empty-headed expression alone nearly prompted Meepo to load his crossbow and send a bolt through his skull.

Thurston's his expression grew grave and he raised the blade once more. "It is a dark day indeed when the innocence of childhood is stolen away into the dark abyss of evil. I can see in your eyes, young one, that you believe the words that come from your mouth. But they are lies. These companions of your's have corrupted your soul and tainted it with their own sins so that you will sin for them. You yet think yourself pure and free of sin, but the devil's taint seethes inside of you. When this matter is closed, I shall take you from this dark place and into a home of light and order where you will repent your unknowingly hateful ways and be reborn pure into the Light."

Meepo wondered if Jaryth's vacant expression was obvious enough that even a sun-baked human warrior could spot it.

"I swear by my honor and Pholtus's righteousness that the evil will be burned from you. You will call new people 'mother' and 'father' and be a heretic no longer in your new home. This creature you defend is lost to the Light, but there is still hope for you. Your soul is not wholly lost in its own taint, but in that of others. Stand aside and think not that you betray these creatures who have darkened your heart. Harden it instead and choose the One True Way. It is hard, I know. The darkness within you rebels against it. You must rise above it and cast it out. Pray to the He of the Blinding Light and He will aid you. Your childhood is not lost. When the darkness is gone from you it will be as though you were newly birthed. Set aside any mistaken loyalty you have to this corrupt beast, this kobold. The One True Way is a strict and hard path, but only upon it shall you free yourself of the evils within you before it is too late." Sir Thurston's voice brimmed with sincerity as he spoke.

Meepo began plotting Sir Thurston's death. He didn't care if the human wanted to kill the boy or just take him far, far away. Either would be duly appreciated, but Meepo could enjoy neither if he was killed first. Thurston was a threat, one that needed to be eliminated. He would threaten Meepo's position in the group even if he didn't kill the kobold outright.

While he plotted, Meepo wondered if Jaryth's new idiocy was inspired by Thurston. Maybe the warrior's words could inspire feeblemindedness. It was the sort of thing a human god would grant. Remembering Lorn, Meepo knew that human gods loved stupidity.

"Father and Mother? They're not with these people. I ran away from them. And i'm *NOT* going back. This kobold, and these other people, have been nicer to me than my own dear parents ever were." Jaryth said sharply as he stepped back.

So the knight didn't have a brain-leeching voice after all. Meepo relaxed a bit. Now at least he didn't have to worry about turning into a fawning lackwit himself. Burble spoke up, "Greetings Sir Thurston. Well as it is, Meepo is indeed a kobold, as you so extravagantly have proclaimed and indeed he might seem to be an abomination to you. He is working with us to rescue Lord Semmon's Heirs. He has stood by us in our dealings with unholy goblins and their rat minions. We are here to heal up after being much damaged from attacked from the beasts of the Cavern and I will vouch for him. I am a priest of the Laughing One and Meepo will not harm or attack anyone while he is in my care. Without his aid, our mission will fail, and then Lord Semmon will never have word or have a chance to rescue his children or their retainers. I ask you to hold off any actions that may stop our quest and allow us to rest, if not, then I will escort Meepo away from your town and you will not see us again, but then Lord Semmon might have something to say against this. I ask you to hold your actions, till an actual crime has occurred. It might be that I and Meepo can actually be of use to Oakhurst. His tribe are quite skilled in crafting jewelry and weapons. Perhaps we can set up a treaty, where the two people, yours and his, can trade, and watch each other with mutual protection. If we can succeed in defeating the goblins that lurk in the Caverns. then you can see how a lawful people like Meepo's will abide by a treaty and leave your town alone. Will you allow this?"

Meepo was warmed by Burble's defense, until he began to wonder if it might be the halfling and his Laughing One that had the mind-killing voice and he was already in its thrall. That would explain why he wanted Burble to live and couldn't bear to think of him only as a pawn anymore. The thought chilled Meepo. What if in taking the title of lackey he'd submitted himself to Burble's thought eating powers. Maybe becoming his friend was just the next step.

"Young one, I understand your misplaced loyalty. The seed of evil these people have set inside your soul. If indeed your parents were lost to evil, then these are only less so. They together have cast your soul into the fires of chaos, but it can be broken free! I swear that I will not return you to darkness, be it that you know or that you have yet to see. I will see to it that you are given over to the kindest and holiest Palish family. You will be fed well and treated as their own son. In time you come to think of yourself as their trueborn son and they the same. Once on the One True Path, all this is possible. The dark years behind you will fall away and you will open new eyes to behold the Blinding Light." The Pholtan's voice was surprisingly gentle. Meepo was glad he was answering Jaryth first. Maybe he'd be so caught up in Jaryth's problems he'd forget about Meepo.

"Your heart yearns for Light and love. These can be your's. You need only step aside from the darkness. Embrace the way of Law and Light and your heart will swell with love as the Light fills you."

"I can see your pain and wish you never need shed tears." Thurston laid his sword on the ground and kneeled to be at eye level with Jaryth. Meepo almost charged him the opportunity was so perfect. "I quest for a world where there are no tears for children, and only joy and righteousness. Let me take you away from the evils that beseige you."

"You will never have to run away again. You will never even think of it. So deep will be your new family's love for you that it will fill your soul until it overflows and you are no more the sad boy who stands before me with sorrow in his young eyes. You will then be a boy of the Pale, knowing the One True Way and embracing it as you do your new parents, brothers, and sisters. You will forget with time the scars of the past and have a new life. Only your belief in the darkness keeps the thick cloth of sin shading your soul. Cast it off and be free and reborn. Your shadows need not haunt you. The Light will burn them away." Thurston's voice was tearful but resolute. Meepo thought that a pleading enemy at his feet should sound that way, desperate for life but fearful of death.

"You don't understand.. no one does... i've seen things.. things people shouldn't have to see.. things that make Meepo there look like a saint. My-my-my own Father.. he-he-he..." Jaryth's head hung low. He was quivering and Meepo only wished it could be while he had his foot on the boy's neck.

"I don't want a new family… I c-c-couldn't trust a new family. They'd only want to use me like the Flames did, or Father. But, I know someone like you… You could keep me safe… Let me be your squire… PLEASE!!" Jaryth fell to his knees and grasped the knight's arms urgently.

Take him. Take him please! Meepo thought. Take him and leave! Then he realized how out of character this outburst was for Jaryth and began to worry about will-sapping voices again.

"Please… I-I can trust you, I know I can… and-and-and, maybe you can help me… help me sleep… help me keep the darkness from coming… it's coming now, I can feel it.. The Chaos Bringer is coming… I know he is, I saw him, once. When I was really little." Jaryth's words trailed off in a whisper.

"We-we're trying to save this nobleman's children. We need Meepo to do that, he's our guide… He knows the tunnels and stuff... That's why we're working with him... Please… please don't hurt him... I couldn't bear to see another death, all death feeds Him."

Maybe the boy's idiocy had its uses.

Thurston was moved. "Young one, I swear to you that you may trust me. I will see that you never suffer again such horrors as you have at the hands of your father or these Flames. I will keep you safe even from the Chaos Bringer himself. Come with me and I shall take you as my squire. I shall even stay my hand against this kobold if it will save your soul from the taint on it. Never shall evil touch you again. Never shall you again be under the first of demons and undead and worse. No harm shall come to you while I yet live." He swore to Jaryth.

"Will you help us? Please? I swore that I would help them… And I don't want to go back on my word. I know that's wrong." Jaryth looked pleadingly at Thurston.

Thurston pondered long in silence. "You feel a duty to carry out this quest and that is a noble and righteous act. I can now see that the way out of sin is open for you and you only hesitate to imperil your soul by breaking your oath. I will accompany you if only to guard against the evils of these others, the get of lies and the kobold especially. But you must beware as well the beastmaster and his wild ways. It could be he is a sinful skinchanger. His ways would be those of the wild heathen gods that tempt men to be as wild as they. Be ever wary of his wolfen familiar as well. Often do demons take the shape of wolves. I will guide you, my squire, but you must remain wary even still. Eternal vigilance against evil is the price of holiness. You must beware as well the dwarf, his gods are strange and know not the One True Way."

"Heed my words and you shall begin on the path to the Blinding Light, young one." Thurston took up his sword once more. Looking to the party he spoke again. "You have wounded. While you are companions, however full of sin you may be, it falls to you to share battles with he and I. I will use Pholtus's favor to close your wounds, but I shall not sully Pholtus's name nor mine own soul by pouring out his Light on a dark fiend such as that kobold."

Meepo took that as a high compliment.

Jaryth beamed, and a twinkle entered his eye. In a rush of emotion, he hugged Thurston, his face pressed tight to the knight's chest. "Thank you, Sir Thurston. Thank you. I'm sure that everything's going to be ok now. I know it is. I'll be a good boy, and try to walk in the Light. I don't know much about Pholtus, or any of the other gods… just..."

The boy fell silent and looked to the ground, running a finger along the flame tattoos that lined his jaw. "What do you know about… other types of power... like... sorcery, or
wizardry, or... or... things that you do just because you think of them."

"You all buying this priest?” Burble asked the assembled townsfolk. “Do you all want to worship just one God and not have Beory watch over your crops? Not to have St, Cuthbert or Heironeous for protection? Not to have Zilchus watch over the trade routes? if so, then I feel sorry for you.”

The halfling turned back to Sir Thurston. “I admit that I am not of your faith Sir Thurston, but I will say if your narrow mindedness means for you to take this boy when he has the right to choose for himself. Then you are one who takes liberty away. Your goals might be admirable if they did not mean that you would have it set up to burn or kill any who do not worship or live to your code. Will you burn me for my faith? Or what of Embrill the Druid, will you burn him and his groves for watching over nature?”

Meepo realized that if Thurston weren't so interested in killing him, the human man might have some use in killing Embrill.

"Well if so, I will swear that I will defend myself and my friend. If you wish us gone, so be it, but by the Gods, I will not have you killing my friends when I have faced death if not for him. I stand by him over you for that alone Priest of Pholtus. I think the light has truly blinded you way too much. Mayhaps you should go to the Pale so that others like myself will not taint you so."

That wasn't going to go over well, Meepo was sure.

"You are a priest of the Laughing One!?" Thurston's eyes flew wide with horror. "You are the spawn of lies and trickery then, the get of chaos itself. Far are you into darkness and beyond retrieval. Were this heretical land instead the Pale I would have you in chains and brought before justice and see your dark flesh burned by the Blinding Light."

Meepo could really hate it when he was right.

"I know the way lies come to your lips and invade mine ears, Laughing get. I will hold your flesh accountable for all the kobold's sins, but know that I am ever vigilant and should he betray your word, the kobold and halfling alike shall know true justice. I shall be this village's protector from your depredations but know you are not long to be welcome here. Go quest after Semmon's sons and you shall endure. Return once more empty-handed and I shall deem it the foulest of betrayals. You live only until your deeds
betray your black hearts. You are far too deep in sin to ever free yourselves."

"You will not go with my newfound squire. He hungers for the Light that you cannot give."

Burble stepped back and spoke a bit louder. "Looks like you could use some nice laughs yourself, seeing your full of holy crap. But ok, so you hate my guts and would rather kill someone who might aid folks then allow my " Hellish ways" to support your good soul. Gods above you are such a crank. Look, unless I here it from the Mayor or the local lord and not your puffed up ego. I will come and go as I can, to resupply, heal, or trade. I took the job to get Semmon's kids, and I will do what I need to do to see it through. If your so bent on saving souls, you could go yourself you know. I will be happy to let the Goblin's feast on your body of you so wish it."

"I have told no lies Priest, and I will not tell any on my loyalty to my friend. I am willing to take on the responsibility for Meepo, and if you have cause, challenge me then and have it over with, but damn if I will allow you to hurt my friend. Now if you want to make an issue out of this, then you, me, and Meepo will see you later. If you want to just shut your mouth, watch, and wait, fine by me"

"But I say it is up to good Jaryth if he truly wants to stay with you. If he says no, then by the gods, you will not kidnap him. So, shall we both step away or will you continue to spit out your crap theology and insults?"

Jaryth looked at Burble, pain obvious in his eyes. Meepo had a very high tolerance for seeing Jaryth in pain. "Lets just get along, please? We've fought so hard and for so long... We don't need this, not now. Let's just get along and be friends."

Burble looked back at Jaryth. "Ok, if that is how you feel kiddo, stay with him. You know where we shall be or where we shall go if you change your mind. I doubt this priest will ever just get along with me, but hey I will go off and have a nice tea and chuckle and rest. Just trying to stick up for yourself, like I would Meepo or Sal. See yah around Kiddo."

Burble looked to Meepo and signaled the kobold to follow along, though Burble made sure that he stayed out of reach of Thurston and kept a hand on his dagger in case of an attack. He stepped into the inn with Meepo in tow. As he stepped inside he spoke to Meepo.

"My friend, I know for myself, there is no way in hells that's this creep will be going with us. Hells, might be the only time that Embrill and I will agree, to join forces to off this bastard and stop him from being around us. Hell, he would get every damn rat and goblin from miles around with his words and with that, even their unknown leaders. We shall talk later, but I will not bet this one will come with us after I have words with him.” Burble smiled nastily. Meepo returned the smile with his own malevolent grin.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*IX-Meepo and Burble's Midnight Adventure*

Wherein our hero does not make nice.

Meepo stepped into the inn behind Burble and looked at the patrons sitting inside. He was thrilled to be out of the sun and away from Sir Thurston. The half-light that filled the common room was a welcome relief from the insufferably hot and bright sun. The sun was stupid. All it could do was be hot and bright. Meepo could think of more things to do with rat dung, even excepting sneaking it into Worthless Dung Druid's food to see how much he really liked it.

Now that was an idea. Maybe Meepo would see about doing that later. Burble might help. Meepo allowed himself a moment to fantasize about covert expeditions into the ravine to gather rat dung and seeing Worthless Druid doubled over sick with fever and at his mercy. That was a good thought. Meepo smiled to himself at the thought of making Worthless Druid beg for a cure. Then Meepo would finally give him something that would only make him even more ill. He might even die from the disease. A smile crept over Meepo's face.

Lorn flitted in and began flirting with the human women, oblivious to the hard stares. Meepo didn't know why he expected more from the human, he was clearly loved by the human gods for his incredible stupidity. He was thinking with his loins too. Meepo'd seen it in the ruins with Rhea, but here it was even worse. He'd heard the humans had a god of sex too, and with what he'd seen of Lorn the warrior must be a devout follower. Maybe he was even some kind of adept of the sex god. Meepo remembered him calling out to Heironeous just before doing stupid things before. That must be the sex god's name.

The others were still yammering on about Thurston and whether or not he should be trusted. He was going on and on about perfidity and blinding lights. Meepo made a note that he was indeed one of the humans dumb enough to worship their stupid sun. He must hate Meepo because the sun was jealous of kobolds. That was the only reason it hurt them. Like it's worshippers, though, the sun was stupid and didn't know kobolds lived underground where it couldn't reach them. Then he tried to tune out the paladin for a while. Pleasant thoughts of blinding the paladin with a burning wood poker floated through his mind. Meepo would like to hear his opinion of blinding lights then.

Burble suggested that if Thurston was so obsessed with fighting evil he go to Rauxes and fight it there, to leave the rest of the world in peace. Then he quietly added that he and Meepo might arrange just such a trip for Sir Thurston. Meepo responded with a yapping laugh. He didn't know where Rauxes was, but he knew that Burble wouldn't wish that the paladin went to anywhere pleasant.

Now the innkeeper found his voice. His brow furrowed and he jabbed a finger at Meepo and spoke gratingly, "I care not if you stay under my roof, halfling. That one and his kind aren't welcome here." Meepo and Burble walked out. Meepo was already thinking of revenge. A quick trip into the town at night and he'd show that innkeeper the kobold way. Swift, stealthy, painful revenge would make Kurtulmak proud and maybe he would lift the curse that had saddled Meepo with these humans.

The two found the party mostly healed of the wounds they'd taken from the wood things that attacked them in their sleep. Thurston had offered healing, and they must have accepted. Meepo saw that Jaryth's eyes still had that empty, idiotic look that sent chills down Meepo's spine. The boy had never been bright before, but Thurston must be leeching away his wits faster and faster. He was looking up at the human with fawning adoration.

Who would be next? Rowland's wounds were gone. He must have let Thurston heal him, which could only mean that the human's magic was inside him now too. How long before both human whelps were fawning at Thurston's feet? What if it was as Meepo suspected earlier, and just hearing the human's words could slowly turn you into a mindless slave of his human god?

On some level, Meepo was impressed. He could admit that the thought of being turned into something like Jaryth was becoming scared him more than being left at Yusdrayl's tender mercies. She might kill him, but Thurston would keep him alive and judging from the look on Jaryth's face make him love every second of his slavery to the sun god the paladin followed. Thoughts of staring up happily into the sun until his eyes burned out filled Meepo's mind. Meepo was surprised Kurtulmak didn't grant such awful powers to kobolds.

No … what if that was the first step on the road to becoming one of Thurston's Pholtus-kissing sun lovers? Meepo had just doubted Kurtulmak. He had dared question the supreme kobold, and he hadn't even realized he'd been doing it. Was that how it happened? You started thinking god-kissing thoughts before you even knew it? Meepo looked directly up at the sun and nearly screamed at the white-hot daggers of agony that tore into his eyes. That was a relief.

He hastily lowered them once more so the pain receded to the now-familiar dull ache that he'd known coming from the ravine to the human town. Meepo was reassured for the moment. The humans could stare at their stupid kobold-hating sun without pain. They might have somehow infected him with their sick stupidity, but thank Kurtulmak he was still a kobold! As long as the sun was still jealous enough of him to hurt his eyes then all was as right as it could be while traipsing around with humans and their holy death wishes. Meepo tried not to think about how little that really said for his situation.

There was more discussion, and Jaryth clung to Thurston like he was the last human left to catch arrows for him on a goblin firing range. His slack-wit adoration only seemed to grow. Even with his reassurance that the sun still saw him as a superior kobold and not one of its own idiotic worshippers the boy's devotion still left Meepo deeply uneasy. He stuck close to Burble. He felt safer near the halfling.

That was stupid too. No kobold should ever trust anything that breathed, especially not a sun-dweller. But Burble would make a good kobold. A smart kobold trusted nothing less than another kobold. Meepo shook his head and gave in to the stupidity of it all. It was done. He was lost. He trusted Burble, even with his life. No matter how hard the kobold tried he couldn't shake it. Burble was his friend.

All hope given up, Meepo suddenly felt perversely happy and content. A revolting warm feeling filled him and a stupid grin sneaked on his face for a moment before he could suppress it. Something was deeply and profoundly wrong with him. He was losing his mind and displaying stupidity on the level only normally associated with humans. Despite himself, he liked it. He wondered if he'd feel even warmer inside once he'd killed Rowland and drank his dragonblood to gain the magic that was his birthright.

Except for Jaryth, everyone in the group agreed to camp outside the town. Burble would do it for Meepo, and the rest didn't want to pay the innkeeper's high prices. Night came after a long afternoon of painful light and as usual Meepo and Burble shared a watch. Meepo spent some of the time early in the watch with his mind on slitting Embrill's throat and gutting Riki while the wolf slept. Mates should die together.

But then Burble motioned for him to see that the others were sleeping soundly. Meepo smiled and together he and the halfling ensured all the humans were well into their dreams of sun and sex gods. Meepo couldn't keep the smile off his face. He knew what was coming. Burble hadn't said a word, but Meepo knew murder when he saw it in his friend's eyes. That dark glimmer of malevolence would well befit a kobold.

Moving with careful stealth the two checked and double-checked the humans. Meepo lingered over Embrill and Riki. They were vulnerable, defenseless. He was so close that he could kill both before they could raise an alarm. Meepo was sure of it. He could see dark red blood sliding across his blade and hear the wolf and his lover sigh their death rattles. The sound would be music to him and stay a fond memory in his mind for all his days.

Meepo's hand drifted down to his sword. Scaly kobold fingers closed on the steel hilt and the worn leather wrappings around it. The metal felt good in his hands and his fingers clenched tight. He could feel that wild bloodlust beginning to slowly wake in the back of his mind as his heart pounded and blood rushed and roared in his ears. One quick stroke and it would be over. His and Burble's main enemies would be dead. Dung-sniffer and the wolf dead at his feet … it was a wonderful thought. If there was killing to be done this night, let it begin here.

No. Meepo's caution reasserted itself. The other humans might forgive killing Thurston. It would be a public service and as a civic-minded kobold Meepo was happy to oblige. Killing one of their own probably wouldn't be taken in stride. They might not like Embrill, but they probably liked Meepo even less. With a quiet sigh he kept his sword in its scabbard.

Off Meepo and Burble went. They left the group without guards and defenseless in the night. Meepo hoped some of those wooden things would come upon them and kill Embrill and Riki for him. It would be a fine thing indeed to return to find the two dead, but of course than any survivors would know that their guards had abandoned them. If any lived through the killing, Meepo probably wouldn't.

The town was quiet and dark as the two friends stalked into it under two waning moons. They avoided the streets and stuck to the backs of buildings despite not seeing a single light anywhere in the darkness. Just because they didn't have candles or torches lit didn't mean no one was about. Now would be just the time for some stupid dwarf to blunder on them in the dark and raise the alarm. It was bad enough that Burble was carrying a lit candle to see by. The pinpoint of light screamed to any watching that they should come quick and ready to kill.

They reached the back of the inn, where the stables were. What horses were inside were quiet and as blind in the dark as their human riders. Three windows looked out from the back of the inn. Burble pointed up and indicated that he knew Thurston must be sleeping beyond one of those. Meepo didn't question Burble's knowledge. The halfling had himself slept inside the inn before.

Burble drew out his grappling hook and made sure a rope was strongly tied to the end of it. Meepo didn't like that, but Burble knew more about breaking into buildings than Meepo did. The halfling cast the grapple aloft and it lodged with a loud bump on the roof of the stables. Meepo scurried up it without being told. Burble would need to bring his candle, and the light shining into any of the windows might wake a human. He peered into the nearest window to find some human sleeping within, but it was too small to be Thurston. Meepo considered killing him anyway to rid the world of one more stupid human, but didn't want to take the time away from seeing the sun-lover dead.

Burble climbed up and with both now atop the stables, Meepo whispered quietly, "Meepo only see one inside, not see boy."

"Is the man the paladin?" Burble quietly whispered back.

"Meepo thinks too short for stupid warrior," Meepo replied. His heart was pounding. He was so close to the kill, yet the risk of discovery was so high. Perversely, he was enjoying the excitement.

"Do you see his armor?"

"Meepo see no armor."

"Ok, stay here Meepo. Or can you make it to the next window?"

"Meepo can." Meepo had no idea if he could or not, but he wasn't missing his chance to see Thurston dead. Nothing would brighten his day like killing the paladin, besides killing Embrill and Riki.

"Ok, then move carefully and quietly, my friend." Meepo didn't have to be told, he moved as quiet as he could manage off the roof of the stable and on a small ledge that ran under the windows. Ten feet of empty air stood between him and the ground. Meepo clung desperately to the ledge, but still slipped once and nearly fell, only saving himself with a wild grab for a windowsill.

Burble had to quench his candle to climb effectively. Meepo was his eyes now. He peered into the next window, "Meepo see stupid warrior on floor, boy in bed. Stupid warrior's armor by wall, with sword."

"Good, damn the kid for being in here, but we have to do this. Let me go in first and try to knock out the boy and then we will kill the stupid warrior."

"Meepo think boy sleeping. Stupid warrior too."

"Ok, but I want to make sure the kid stays sleeping"

This was it. Meepo had found Thurston and Jaryth. Both were sleeping and defenseless. Their throats were faintly lit by moonlight, begging to be cut. Burble made short and quiet work of the window's lock and they were inside.

Thurston lay like a sleeping bear in the middle of the floor and Meepo had to step carefully and mind his tale to keep from blundering into the sleeping human. He wanted to finish Thurston right then, but Burble had other plans. He drew out a stitched leather bag full of sand and hefted it in his hand as he stood over Jaryth, sleeping quietly in the bed.

The boy looked so peaceful and innocent in the bed. All of his slack-jawed, fawning idiocy was hardly evident from the faint smile that he kept even when sleeping. His breathing was smooth and steady, without a worry in the world. Burble's hand flew up and brought the sap down stunningly hard on Jaryth's head. Meepo almost jumped at the thump, but Thurston slept on. The kobold could see Jaryth's head had been thrown halfway across the pillow by Burble's sudden blow. That wiped the smile off his face. Meepo nearly laughed and considered taking his sword to the boy.

But Thurston was more important, and if the humans might be upset about him killing Embrill they'd probably be even more upset about Meepo killing Jaryth. He was one of their young, and humans had a stupid fondness for whelps.

Meepo drew out his spear and drew it back to plunge it through Thurston's chest. Burble stepped over and silently strung his bow and nocked an arrow, aiming for Thurston's forehead. When he was ready he nodded at Meepo and the two struck together. Spear burst through Thurston's chest with a satisfying crunch while arrow tore through his brain. The weapons had hardly touched the paladin when Meepo began to see blood flow. He quickly jerked his spear out of the wound so it would bleed more freely. Then he carefully put it back in and twisted it around some. Thurston was already dead, and without even a gurgle, but it made Meepo feel better to torture his corpse a bit more.

The spear came back out and Meepo licked a bit of blood from it. Humans might be stupid sun-lovers, but their blood didn't taste all that bad. He wondered if age made a difference. Would Thurston's aged blood taste better or worse than Jaryth's? He supposed he'd have to wait to find out. To console himself he quickly seized the paladin's hand and ripped a gold ring off Thurston's finger.

Meepo gestured to the backpack and the sword. He and Burble quickly tore into the backpack. They found Thurston fairly dripping with coin and ended up pouring his wealth into anything they could find. Burble grabbed the sword as well. Also in Thurston's backpack they found four steel vials and Meepo knew they must be magic waters. He stowed them away in his backpack while Burble was finding a way to carry the sword, the newfound wealth, and still climb out the window. The halfling paused only to pull his arrow from Thurston's wound.

Smiling happily at each other, Burble and Meepo silently hurried off down to the ground, took up grapple and rope, and rushed back to camp. They returned with barely any time left to their watch. Druid and wolf alike were both still disappointingly alive, but Meepo had killed once this night and was for the moment content. He and Burble hid the extra coin and sword on Burble's mule. The halfling said a prayer and pronounced Thurston's ring, sword, and the contents of his vials all magical.

The sword was hidden away; to be given to Sal when the time was right. He favored longswords and a magical one in his hands would make him an even more effective weapon against any foes the group might meet. He was Burble's friend too, so it wasn't likely the sword would be turned against them. The vials, healing potions Burble thought, were split between him and Meepo. Burble also insisted half the coin they'd taken from Thurston was Meepo's by right, though Meepo was happy to let him carry the heavy stuff rather than drag it around himself.

Meepo barely had time to lick clean his spear after all the gold and magic was divided before it was time to rouse the next watch and drift off into pleasant dreams of dead paladins, wolves and druids in torture chambers, and the agonized screams of both.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*X-The Graceful Swan, Floating Lotus Death-Dive*

Wherein our hero enjoys the show.

Morning came swiftly and with it once more the humans' son. Meepo soon lost the warm afterglow of seeing Thurston's blood spilled. The warmth and contentment that had seen him through the night with a long procession of blissful dreams filled with screaming druids and dying wolves was banished by the cursed, jealous sun burning above. Burble rose to say his prayers and Meepo tried to keep as much of the foul light off himself as he could.

Not only the sun wished to torment Meepo this day, though. Jaryth came galloping into the camp just outside the humans' town astride Thurston's warhorse. As he rode in he screamed, "WHO DID IT?"

Meepo kept his head low. The slack-jawed, fawning human whelp had no proof, but with creatures so dumb as humans proof would hardly be needed to see him dead for the crime. They wouldn't be rational like reasonable kobolds. They wouldn't all agree that Thurston was a threat that needed to be eliminated. Meepo could still see the glimmer of fawning adoration in the whelp's empty eyes. He would bear watching.

Almost immediately the lackwit turned towards Burble and shrieked, "YOU? Did you do it?"

Meepo redoubled his conviction to keep an eye on Jaryth. Maybe his new god had put the knowledge in the whelp's mind. Even human gods must not be so stupid that they'd look down on the murder of their followers and send aid to those who would avenge them. Then Meepo remembered Lorn and realized that they must be just that stupid. The whelp must just be venting his hatred on whoever he saw first.

It would have been so easy to kill him. Burble hit him over the head instead. Maybe that knocked Jaryth's brain into working again, as much as any human brain did work? Stupid gods, slack-jawed whelps, or not Meepo would keep close watch on Jaryth. The kobold should have killed him when he had the chance. The other humans couldn't possibly miss him that much.

"To what are you referring, young squire?" Lorn asked. Of course he hadn't figured it out yet.

Burble was quick to react too, his hand going to his dagger as he took a step back. "What's wrong Jaryth? What are you referring to?" That's right. Burble and Meepo were here, keeping watch and sleeping. The whelp would be stupid enough to believe that. He'd believed Thurston, after all.

"IT! Thurston! HE'S DEAD! ONE OF YOU HAD TO HAVE DONE IT! WHICH ONE! COME ON! TELL ME!" How Jaryth imagined that it must be one of the group that killed Thurston instead of some intelligent human who the holy warrior had wronged escaped Meepo. A moment later he remembered that there was no such thing as an intelligent human and was forced to conclude that he, Burble, and Sal were the only likely suspects.

"Thruston is dead. He's been stabbed in the forehead and the heart. He's dead. In my room. He's dead. Not coming back. NOW WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHO DID IT AND WHY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT! WHY COULDN'T I BE HAPPY?"

Meepo was tempted to reply that anyone so weak-willed and stupid enough to be enthralled by a human god or one of his servants deserved death instead of happiness. That way their idiocy couldn't survive for future generations to endure. That was how proper, civilized people handled these things. It was the kobold way.

Lorn, surprisingly, had a reply. "The eight of us were together all night, with two people on watch. None of us could have gotten away without someone noticing." Lorn was a useful idiot for the moment. Meepo would have to remember that a fool could make a good shield against blame. Deceive the fool and none would believe he had the wit to be lying so anything you told him would be taken as truth.

Burble was ready for this, he kept his distance as he answered Jaryth's charges. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I was here all night with Meepo, standing guard or sleeping. I have no idea why you would care if that ass lived or mot anyways. I mean he was just a braggart and a threat to me and my friend Meepo."

That was stupid. Now Jaryth was reminded of just why it was Burble and Meepo might want Thurston dead. Burble had been with humans too long and their habits were infecting him. Meepo was worried about his friend.

Jaryth sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He was crying, just like a human whelp. No scheming revenge, no plotting against the killers… He was just crying. How did humans sleep at night when they raised children like this? Mewling, hopeless whelps… By now a kobold hatchling would be setting in motion revenge plans.

"You people were asleep… and it's not that hard to slink away from a group… especially if they're asleep. You're the only people who had anything against him. The townspeople wouldn't have done anything. WHY DID YOU DO THIS? WHY! I WAS HAPPY! He was going to make me his squire, and ... and ... and ..." Jaryth drifted off into quiet, whimpering sobs.

Rowland goggled and looked like an idiot. In a kobold tribe, he'd be killed quickly with reflexes like that, "I'd have no reason to kill someone who did me a kindness with no thought of payment." He held up his arm to show his healed wound. "And murder is an evil act, not one of which I'd be a part!" Jaryth only shrugged.

Bryant was as shocked as Rowland. Meepo remembered that even though the quieter human hadn't done anything spectacularly stupid lately, he was still a human. "He had this tendency to threaten anyone that didn't fit into his ideas, I'm sure he made plenty of enemies in town. Hell, maybe an old enemy caught up to him. But to be murdered in one's sleep while alone in his own room.... Perhaps getting an early start, I agree." Meepo was perversely satisfied that Bryant was unnerved by the killing.

"He wasn't alone," Jaryth said quietly, coldly. "I woke up, and found him dead on the floor."

Embrill only snorted in reply to Jaryth's accusations. Excellent, he exposed himself to suspicion. Meepo reaffirmed his faith in the Worthless Druid's idiocy.

"Just slow it up kid. You're obviously just shaken, but you really are a lot better off not being under that one's control. I am sorry that your hurting, but he would just have sent you off to be miserable and never could have accepted you as we have. If you do not want to be with us, then I will wish you well, but be warned, if you try to attack me, I will defend myself fully." Burble drew his dagger in defense, but didn't raise it. He looked to Meepo, "Meepo, get to the side as well, I have a bad feeling about this."

He had a bad feeling about this. An insane, dim-witted whelp was accusing him of murder, and he had a bad feeling about this. Meepo had a bad feeling about this too. They should have just killed Jaryth. Leave it to a human to blunder on those who wronged him and kill them by accident. The wild look in Jaryth's eyes didn't reassure Meepo at all.

"Why would I attack you, Burble? You've been nice to me. Thurston was mean to you, but that's because he didn't understand you. And why do you think I suspect you? I just want to know why you people had to hurt me, by killing my friend. After we finished this quest, he was going..."

Jaryth trailed off into silence. When next he looked up, his eyes were blank, and soulless. Meepo wondered how long it would be before he ceased his mewling entirely. "Well, he's dead. Nothing doing. I have everything I need. I suppose he's been stripped, so there's no need to search him. Let's get out of here. A dead paladin is bound to cause us trouble."

Meepo was struck by the unsettling thought that he was completely right. He was going to be venturing back into the ravine, into the teeth of rats and goblins, not to mention his own clan of kobolds with a stark, raving mad human whelp who could make Kurtulmak's blood scream sound in his head.

Kurtulmak hated him. It wasn't just that normal, spiteful sort of hate that a kobold might expect from his god. Nothing like Meepo was enduring was remotely on the order of what he might expect for something like showing mercy to a gnome…this was raw, personal hatred. Nothing else could explain being saddled with first humans, then stupid humans, then stupid human holy warriors and their stupid gods under their stupid sun, then insane stupid human whelps that were enthralled and rendered drooling, fawning fools by stupid human holy warriors.

"Jaryth, he would never have made you a squire only a slave to his God and his own temperament. if you truly want to be acquire, look to Lorn or another good hearted man. Thurston only wanted to think only as he would, not as you might like. Would you truly have been happy to be a servant and a lackey to someone like Thurston?" Burble said in the way of consolation. At least Burble had seen the effect Thruston had on the boy too. None of the humans had, of course.

Sal spoke up then, a rarity for the dwarf. "Jaryth, I don't mean to be insensitive here, but what makes you think it was one of us? With all of us here at the camp for the night, I really don't know how any one of us could have left the camp and gone up there to kill him. Was there something that makes you think it was one of us? I mean we had some words with him, but we've had words within the group and nobody's been killed. I know he was close to you, but even you can see how he could make some of the towns people angry enough to hurt him. I'm amazed that they'd have the fight in them, but sometimes words are more powerful than weapons."

"Sal, it's the only explanation that makes sense. Many of you didn't agree with him, others despised him. It's not that hard for people slip away at night when others are asleep. Especially, if someone has help." Jaryth was speaking flatly, indifferently. If he hadn't been showing signs of lunacy earlier Meepo might have admired his kobold-like indifference to the killing. He was right that it was easy to slip away as well, Meepo hoped no one dwelled on that thought too long.

Burble got back to thinking about important things. He put away his dagger and spoke once more, "Well again I am sorry that you were hurt Jaryth and that you seem so lost. I agree that we should make some tracks. We have a long journey to get to the rift as well as continue on our missions. I would say also that it is possible that the people of the village will try to blame this all on us, no matter who may be innocent. I will disagree with you on the threat that Thurston would have held to myself or even you, but I will not argue with you. Stay close to Lorn or Sal. They will watch over you. Sal is a good friend and I believe you can trust him."

"Why? There is no point. No point in anything. Everything dies. Everything crumbles. My father called it Entropy. Maybe Entropy will kill the gods. Maybe Entropy is a god… The only god, the other gods are just pretenders."

Burble spoke almost gently, "It is possible that in time all Gods will die, and that nothing can ever go on as we want or wish. I know my own experiences were not the best, and in fact, I have had doubts of faith. I found it for myself, but I know my way is not for all. The Laughing Rogue answered me when I fell, but you have to find your own belief, or lack thereof."

"You have had a severe shock here today, a disturbance that may well have set you off to a path of apathy. I stand ready to heal and ward you all I may be able to, and I will hope that we can work together. But I will be blunt Kid, yes, everything does indeed die, and there is no escaping that, best to try to live for the moment, and not get too attached to something that may die. I have my friendship with Sal and Meepo, but that is about it. You folks are companions, if reluctant in the matters of Embrill and Rhea."

"Thanks" Jaryth said blankly and began slowly riding toward the ravine.

Burble nodded to Meepo and made a calming motion before looking to the others. "Unless you all have any more comments, let's move on out."

Still gazing emptily into the distance, Jaryth agreed. "We should move out." Meepo decided that if this sudden, unthinking obedience was fruit of Jaryth's time in Thurston's thrall it couldn't be all that bad. He could see many openings to exploit this.

Meepo didn't like that Jaryth had suggested moving first, though. It could just be coincidence, but Jaryth's own sudden conversion and submission to Thurston's will weighed heavily on Meepo's mind. Was Thurston's god like a disease, infecting Jaryth and just now spreading to Burble? The thought sent chills down his spine. Either Meepo's friend was trying to assuage Jaryth's suspicions or he was falling under the sway of Thurston's stupid sun god.

As the group set out, Burble hung back and thus Meepo did as well. The halfling motioned Sal over and quietly passed him Thurston's long sword. Burble thought it was magical. Sal didn't seem happy to learn that Burble and Meepo had killed Thurston, but he wasn't especially upset about it either. Meepo considered his silence safely bought with the sword, which was nondescript enough that none should notice if it replaced Sal's old long sword.

Half the day again wore on before the party reached the ravine once more under the heavy bludgeon of the humans' cursed sunlight. Meepo thought it must be taking the murder of one of its servants personally. That was stupid, there were enough to spare with all the humans around.

Once at the ravine a discussion about whether or not it was wise to camp where the wood things at attacked before ensued. Sal suggested multiple watch fires to ward off more of the blighted saplings. Burble wanted to divide up all the group's supplies from his mule so they wouldn't have to leave most of it behind when they went back into the cool darkness. Sal and Lorn were to carry most of the weight.

At one point, Jaryth suggested sleeping in the trees. Rowland loved the idea. Sal had a succinct reason as to why not to do so. "Falling hurts!" Finally the group decided to take their supplies with them into the ravine. They'd handle campsites when they needed one.

Then Jaryth spoke up again, "Has it struck anyone how utterly STUPID it is to climb down a rope we didn't tie to enter a cavern that we really don't know what holds?"

"Yup, every damn time I do it. But since I've yet to find any other way to make a living ... " Bryant shrugged.

Yes, as a matter of fact it had occurred to Meepo. Meepo wanted to get out of the damned sun more than he wanted to find out the finer details of rope and ravine history. Out of nowhere, Jaryth chimed in once more. Maybe even if they hadn't killed him they could have cut out his voice box. Meepo wished he'd thought of that last night. "Horses are amazing things. Like all animals, they know the TRUTH. They don't falsify or hide it like people."

Meepo didn't like where this was going. Jaryth had been very possessive of that horse all day long. Meepo thought it was Thurston's, but didn't know for sure. It would make sense, though.

"Yeah, they are REAL smart. As for truth, give them some feed and they will accept you. and as for lies, you think someone has lied, tell them and move on. I would suggest that you not sit about stewing with your resentments." Burble replied testily.

"I have no resentments. I care about nothing," Jaryth replied flippantly. Meepo was thrilled. He wanted nothing more than an insane, suicidal human whelp. His life was now complete.

Burble shrugged. "So be it youngster and I will leave you be then." He walked over to the rope and got ready to climb down it. Meepo drifted over with him.

"Good," Jaryth's voice was hollow. Meepo didn't much care if he wanted to kill himself. The whelp could do that seven or eight times and Meepo would have enjoyed watching every one. Traveling with someone who had no regard for his own safety or anyone else's wasn't the kobold's idea of a perfect situation, though. Kurtulmak hated Meepo.

"Don't call me youngster." Jaryth sighed and rode up to Rowland. "Do you know any cantrips?"

"The rope and the handholds look just fine and so how about we stop jabbering and move out?" Burble asked.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Jaryth snapped. He tied off his horse and walked over to the ravine. With a whooshing sound he leaped over the edge of the ravine and fell into the darkness. He didn't scream, or call out at all, as he fell. He landed with a sickening cracking thud.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*XI-Stupid. Just Stupid.*

Wherein our hero is reassured he was right about humans all along.

Meepo was trying not to laugh. The whelp had just shown himself so monumentally stupid even the humans had to recognize it. They were humans, but there had to be some level beyond which even they would see stupidity, and this must be it. Not only had the mad child killed himself, which was always welcome, but he'd done it in one of the most amusing ways possible.

Meepo spent a silent moment in prayer, beseeching Kurtulmak to send rats to tear at the Jaryth's corpse and pluck out his juicy eyes. Eyes were the best part of humans, they tasted so much better than any part of a goblin. Meepo would miss eating Jaryth's, but he'd rather not risk catching whatever insanity had possessed the boy. Sun- loving human gods could hide their filth in anything. The thought of it sent shivers down Meepo's spine.

Then Burble took leave of his senses and went rushing down the rope into the ravine. With a sigh, Meepo followed. No good would come of this. "Well I see your powers did not work as you thought lad. Silly bugger. Hold still and I will get you up and able to move at least. Next time, just climb down you idjut," Burble lectured as he called on his god to mend Jaryth's wounds.

Meepo had no idea why Burble wanted to save the mad child, which only worried him more. Despite showing himself to be as bright as before, had Meepo's halfling friend been infected by Thurston's god after all. If he had, what about Meepo? There was a lot of blood in that room. It was everywhere. Meepo's stomach lurched as he remembered licking clean his spear.

"So you willing to heal the lad some more If needed or you still staying quiet? I am down to one heal now," Burble looked up into the light at the Worthless Dung Druid. "Come on, we do not have all day you know," he bid the others come down.

This was not good. Burble sounded almost eager to go back into the ravine and put his life at risk once more. That was the kind of stupidity Meepo usually associated with Jaryth, Rowland, Lorn, and the Worthless Druid.

Jaryth stood in the wake of Burble's healing and faced him with that wild, empty look in his eyes once more. Meepo began to consider climbing back up into the sun. Suicidal mad human whelps seemed more of a cause of worry for the moment than the infernal sun up above.

"Thank you Burble. Did offer to heal Thurston too, right before you gave him the killing blow? Or did you have your pet kobold do it while you busy knocking me out?" the whelp asked acidly. Meepo's hand darted to the hilt of his sword. Damn the humans, if the boy went mad now his shrieking could bring rats and worse down on innocent kobolds and halflings alike.

"Burble make nice Jaryth. Stupid boy jump off cliff make nice Burble. Burble make nice Meepo. Meepo make nice Burble. Burble make nice Jaryth. Jaryth make nice Burble." Meepo retorted, his anger overcoming his reason for a moment. He instantly regretted it. Reasoning with the whelp might just push him further out of his mind, or whatever it was humans kept in their brains… however little that might be.

"Did you make nice Thurston when you put a hole in his chest and forehead? Or, were you the one who slammed me on the head, so I wouldn't hear you?" Jaryth asked, hissing almost like a kobold might. That didn't bode well either. Had the whelp's fall knocked some sense into him?

Meepo's eyes flashed in the darkness as he replied, "Stupid Warrior not make nice Meepo. Meepo let live. Meepo make nicer than Stupid Warrior." That wasn't exactly a lie, Meepo and Burble had killed Thurston. It was a far quicker and more humane fate than the holy warrior clearly intended for them; sun-blinded god-kissers as empty- brained as humans.

"So. You didn't kill him. Then you must be the one who hit my head. That hurt. A lot." Meepo wondered how Jaryth expected it to feel, and regretted that Burble had hit the boy instead of him.

"Meepo not hit head. Meepo guard camp. Meepo bounder." Meepo borrowed the title of the guards of his clan. He might as well get some use out of them.

"Did Burble tell you to say that? You do know, don't you that we can't ever go back to that town. If we need supplies, we'll have to get them from the kobolds or the goblins, or do without. No more healing. No more comfy beds. Nothing. We step in the town, and they'll kill us, all of us. Them. You. Me. Burble. All of us." That was a sacrifice Meepo was willing to accept. Thurston's death was well worth it.

"Thanks my friend and just ignore his bleating tongue. From now on he is a brat kid who cannot seem to show thanks for a friend who was watching out for him. Let him carry on all he wants. He just will not get no more healing. He can accuse, rant, and carry on like an idiot, and attract all the rats. Maybe he will learn that some would have tried to aid him, but he does not appreciate that. Just stay away from him, as I doubt we can trust him now that he thinks we are an enemy." Burble said consolingly.

To Jaryth Burble shook his head. "I said before, if you want go have something out, we should have handled it above. Now we have rats and other crap around. You going to rant here, or will you at least hold off till we can get to a safe spot? If you hate me for what happened to Thurston, your sadly mistaken, but I guess you will never see it that way. Seek your friends elsewhere, but for now, I suggest you keep your yap shut unless you want the rats chewing on your carcass like Syl's." Meepo had no idea who Syl was, but she sounded like a good enough example for Jaryth to follow. Human whelps needed more rat-eaten role-models to guide them to their deaths. The world would be a better place if they had them.

"You don't feel any remorse do you? I suppose you'll kill me next, and blame it on the rats. Because I don't like you or your god." Meepo had to admit Jaryth had a good idea there.

"You destroyed the only thing i cared about, Burble. I hope you're happy. You killed my only friend. Enjoy your fascist kobold dictator, Burble. You two are perfect for each other. He wants to kill his brethren for power, you want to kill anyone who stands in your way." Madness was sharpening Jaryth's perceptions. Meepo would have to do something about that.

"And it is you, then, Burble, who killed my friend. You said it was a favor that he was dead. To who? Obviously, not to me, I liked him. I wouldn't want him dead. Did you get mad because he said your goddess was a lie-spreading evil blight to the world?" Jaryth shrugged.

"Isn't she? She's the goddess of deceit and thieves, Burble. She's not really for truth, justice, and the Oeridian way, y'know. She's more for greed, chaos, and lies." More stupid human god nonsense.

Kurtulmak, Meepo do anything. Just send rats to eat whelp's eyes? Meepo make nice…

"So you want to take that tone? You want to blame me and Meepo for this? Well so be it then kid. From now on you can get all your healing for Embrill. I will not take your insults when I have tried to aid you in the ways that I can. Meepo is a friend and no pet you idiot. Piss off for all I care then." Burble said indignantly. Meepo hoped that was a sign he was still free of Jaryth's sickness. The halfling readied his bow.

"It's the truth. I came in and told you what happened and asked who did it. YOU grabbed your dagger and stepped away from me. Why?" Jaryth looked intently at Burble.

"Did you think that I thought you were guilty? Did you think that I had found you out? I KNEW you did it, I just needed proof. That was it. You grabbed your dagger. YOU were going to attack me, to protect your secret. No one else did. Everyone else said how they had been helped by Thurston or how they were here all night long. You behaved in a threatening manner." Jaryth was rambling, but his rambling was far too accurate for Meepo's taste. He definitely needed to do something about this.

"You have no remorse. Why didn't you wait? At least until I was out of sight? I wouldn't have had to wake up to that. If you had any kindness in you, any soft spot for me, you would've granted me that one mercy. But you didn't you killed him and then took everything that was on him. You bastard.”

“We can't even go back to that town now. They'll kill us, as soon as they see who we are, they'll kill us. We have to go to the kobolds now for our supplies, unless you wanna traipse around the countryside for another damned town." Jaryth was beginning to ramble now. That might undercut his credibility with the others if they heard. Meepo could see ways to exploit that.

Burble had had enough. "I would ask you to show me a little respect. My GOD is a man kid, and as for being a liar all depends on how you see it. A thief, well he IS called the Laughing Rogue. Truth? That is very suggestive. Justice? Ain't no such thing kiddo, just what you can make for yourself in the world. The Oeridian Way? Kid, look at me? Do I look human? And not every one is of your race. Olidammara looks out for his worshippers and we pay him back with smiles and worship. If you do not want a god, so be it. That is your choice, but I suggest you not fault me for mine. It was through my god you got healed. You want to spite him, well you go right ahead, but you will get no healing or aid from me." Meepo could question Olidammara's judgement in healing Jaryth, but at least he hadn't driven Burble mad.

“You liked Thurston? Well your loss, but I will tell you straight, I ain't sorry he got offed and he is a headache I am glad to be rid of. You want to seek more like him, then take the horse and ride for the Pale. There you can have an entire country just like his sanctimonious ass.You wont get it from me. I have been truthful from the start how I felt about him and if you want to hold that against me, your loss indeed."

"Meepo say truth. Burble say truth. Jaryth not believe. Meepo and Burble make nice Jaryth. Jaryth not believe. Meepo even want share goblin with Jaryth. Jaryth not believe." Meepo shook his head and pretended he had no idea what was wrong with Jaryth. He needed to build credibility with the other humans who could surely hear this from up above.

"Why can't you admit it? You f***ing killed him and you can't admit!" Jaryth began to climb back up the ravine, using the handholds near the rope.

"I hope you enjoy the kobolds, Burble. As for your god: It is your loss. You placate a being who cares NOTHING for you. The gods are simply parasites, they feed off your worship, and give you nothing in return."

Jaryth continued climbing. "Forget it, this is pointless, you don't care about me, I don't care about you. You don't care about anything but yourself. You keep your friends because they please you. Not because you ant to help them, but because they are your servants, or they make you happy. Embrill's right, you should just leave. No one likes you anyways." Of course the whelp neglected to mention that Meepo liked Burble. The boy really should show more appreciation. Meepo and Burble saved him from life with Thurston.

"Olidammara make nice Jaryth. Jaryth not make nice him." Meepo observed, once more feigning sorrow for those above. This would be a perfect opportunity to exploit human stupidity and gain sympathy amongst the anti- Burbleites.

"You can think what you like Jaryth. I refuse to get in with it with you here. You want to accuse me above, then do so, But right now we got rats about and I suggest you hold on top your hatred or ill will till later, unless you want to fight it out with them damned rodents. As for the dagger, hey, your the one that came riding in hell bent in anger and accused ME of killing Thurston, so what was I supposed to do, just stand there when you might try to kill me. Sorry to disappoint you lad, but that is life and you best watch out for yourself first and foremost. If I wanted to attack you, trust me, you would be dead already." Burble said defiantly, though he carefully pitched his voice so it wouldn't carry too far and alert any rats about.

"I didn't accuse you, Burble. You put that there yourself. You and your guilty conscience." Meepo had no idea what Jaryth's final word meant. Humans had too many stupid words that didn't make any sense.

"Jaryth lie. Meepo liked Jaryth. Meepo made nice Jaryth. Meepo not make nice Jaryth now. Jaryth not make nice Burble. Meepo not make nice Jaryth. Meepo not make nice until Jaryth make nice Burble." Meepo said angrily. "Burble make nice and make nice more Jaryth and Jaryth not believe Burble. Jaryth stupid." Meepo firmly stated his position. There, let the humans align themselves around that.

"Meepo, do you EVER think for yourself? Or do you let Burble do it all for you?" Jaryth yelled from the wall. He was doing a lot of talking and not much climbing.

"I take no chances when I can help it Jaryth and you have been ranting at me for a lot here. I aided you and you spat on me for it, so I cannot trust you, now can I? You got your powers of your mind, and I have no inclination what you may be capable at. Plus you might try to get others to join you. I know Embrill would jump at a chance to kill me, so sorry, I will watch myself all I can, thanks all the same." That was good. Burble reminded the others of Jaryth's abilities.

"I have said what I will. I leave you now to your hatred. Talk to me later when you have something calmer to say, and best, away from the rats." Burble dismissed Jaryth. He motioned for Meepo to join him by the stairs leading down into the ravine.

"YOU can't trust ME?!" Jaryth laughed incredulously as he climbed higher up the cliffside. "You're the psychotic, and you can't trust me?! That's rich! It's so funny! It is to laugh! Har har!"

Rowland called down quietly, "Um guys... you do remember the rats, don't you?" It must be the Dragonblood. Only that could explain Rowland's occasional attacks of thought.

"Meepo watch." Meepo only needed look for a moment into the darkness. "Meepo see rats! Rats coming up stairs! Rats come from next landing!"

It was typical. Kurtulmak still hated Meepo. The whelp he wanted the rats to eat was halfway up the wall and Meepo was still down below with Burble.

Rats rushed up the broken stairway from the darkness. They burst into the reach of Burble's torch moments after Meepo's warning. Up above, Bryant spotted the closest Rat to Burble and Meepo, just up on the last flight of stairs and sends an arrow after it. The rat took the shaft in the back but kept coming, trailing blood. At least one of the humans had done something useful.

Another rat rushed up past the last, thick tail dragging on the floor as it scampered up and lunged at Burble over the side of the stairway. The rat's diseased jaws clenched shut on Burble's calf and tore out a great chunk of flesh as the rat's weight pulled it free. Burble screamed in agony as his calf muscles were torn in half. Blood showered the landing and stairs. Meepo cried out "Burble!" as he tore at the hilt of his sword.

Burble fell back next to Meepo and felled a rat, but another came rushing up in front of Burble and menaced him even as his wounded leg makes it painful to even think of moving back further. Streaks of light and crossbow bolts rained down from above. Meepo hoped none of the humans were stupid enough to hit him or Burble.

A rat came rushing forward, neatly scurrying around Meepo and getting behind him before the kobold could react. Meepo screamed out curses at his predicament.

Jaryth climbed back down and drew his dagger as Embrill reached the bottom of the rope. The worthless druid was fast…Meepo hoped he was rushing to his death. Then, it happened. Meepo heard a screaming above and looked up and back just in time to see Lorn's huge, armor clad form slip from the rope and fall through the air. The fallen paladin cried out as he fell.

Crying out in shock and terror, Lorn fell into the ravine. His desperate attempts to catch the rope or the handholds in the wall were doomed to failure. With a clanging crash Lorn landed hard on the Worthless Druid, driving both to the ground hard. Embrill hit hard enough that his head rebounded with a crack. Embrill vomited blood in Lorn's face and teeth clattered against the fallen fallen paladin's breastplate. Lorn's knee was buried deep in Embrill's back.

Meepo couldn't help himself, as he drew out his sword he was swept up in gales of yapping laughter. One stupid human had just killed another with his stupidity at rushing down the rope like a madman. Kurtulmak liked Meepo after all.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*XII-A leavetaking*

Wherein one of Meepo's wildest dreams comes true.

Sal climbed carefully down the rope behind Meepo, clearly wary of Lorn's example. Meepo fought to keep from completely losing himself to yapping kobold laughter as the huge rats boiled up around him. He was on the front lines, the last place he could possibly want to be.

The humans were supposed to be up here, dying like the fools they were. No self-respecting kobold would stand and fight against an oncoming foe. It was dishonorable to eschew such proven tactics as striking from behind, or while one's foe is sleeping or voiding his bowels. What had some over Meepo?

Bryant followed Sal down, and Meepo hoped soon he could scurry back and strike from behind a shield of moving metal and flesh. Great kobold swordsman he may be, but he still preferred his crossbow. Killing things from afar, where they couldn't reach him in return, appealed to him on a deep and spiritual level. Kurtulmak taught that fools who stood and begged death with blades deserved to die. If only he were more strict about that, there'd be a lot fewer humans in the world.

Meepo took a hasty step back as Bryant came into the fray, letting the human expose himself to more of the rats. Humans were good for that sort of thing. They certainly had a lot of practice. Meepo decided that being a two- legged rat delicacy was a skill he would somehow manage without. The kobold still had a rat behind himself and wished for two heads so he could watch those in front of him and the vermin at his back. Burble tried and failed to skewer it with a dagger. Meepo felt one of those stupid warm rushes of idiocy that he'd picked up from the humans and was perversely happy that Burble was there.

But Kurtulmak still smiled on Meepo. Despite Burble's having missed killing it, the rat behind Meepo tore into neither kobold nor halfling with its filthy teeth. Instead it ripped into Lorn's throat. The foolish human warrior was still laying atop Embrill. Meepo knew he must have been a good kobold to earn such luck. His greatest enemy and the stupidest of the humans could die laying atop one another. Lorn's blood spilled on Embrill's already bloody body and Meepo turned to the rats in front of him. His back was secure under Burble's and Kurtulmak's protection.

Meepo couldn't help himself, though. Seeing his enemy dying was too much. He kept stealing glances and thus saw Lorn scrambling to bind Embrill's worst wounds. As he did so, he turned his head wrong and his throat wound ripped fully open. Blood flowed freely and Meepo smiled to himself. He hoped the Worthless Druid drowned on Lorn's blood.

Battle raged on and Meepo finally dragged himself fully back to the battle in front of him after seeing Burble waste his god's power on Lorn. It must be a divine command. Meepo knew Burble served a human god, and human gods loved the stupid. None fit that description better than fallen paladins who fell off ropes and crushed their companions.

Meepo turned away from his rear at the wrong time, though, Stinging daggers of unspeakable pain tore into his tail at its very base. He nearly fainted as agony washed over him and made his knees weak. Maybe Kurtulmak didn't really like him that much after all. Lorn's and Embrill's luck of late could just be the Great Kobold's way of showing how little he liked those two instead of how much he liked Meepo.

Happily, moments later Sal ended Meepo's battle on two fronts by cleaving the rat to his back cleanly in two. Burly dwarves had their uses; especially when they were using the sword Meepo and Burble stole from Thurston.

In a few more moments the battle was over. With all the big, dumb humans good at killing things devoting their full attention to the rats, instead of innocent kobolds for once, only one rat escaped into the darkness below. Burble quickly used some of his god's power to heal Meepo's torn tail. Try as he might, Meepo couldn't help but like the warm, soothing feeling of the human god magic flowing through him.

Burble, of course, was quick to take charge. Meepo'd chosen wisely in attaching himself to the group's leader. "Ok boys and Girl, lets get the Hell out of here. The rats will be back and I want to get out of this hell Hole. Go get some rest, heal up, and then look for another entrance. This one is just too dangerous, and not worth it. Especially when you got a kid screaming all the time."

"Meepo, you did great. Thanks for holding them off like that. You were a true warrior and a good friend.”

"So, what to do about Embrill folks?” Meepo thought they should kill him there and then, but humans never listened to him.

Sauntering up to Embrill, who was still bleeding into the dirt, Meepo took what chance he had to say a few things he'd had on his mind. "Worthless Druid not not make nice Meepo now. Worthless Druid mate with stupid wolf like Meepo say. Meepo say leave Worthless Druid for rats."

Jaryth, of course, wanted to share his insanity again. He smiled at Burble, "Well, I dunno, maybe we should try to heal him? He is, after all, one of our companions. I dunno, it could just be me, but what the hell, I'm sentimental that way."

So maybe this time it was mundane human stupidity instead of raving madness. Meepo knew better than to hope the lucidity would last.

Jaryth turned to everyone else. "I'm sorry. I lost my head, and you all suffered for it. I shouldn't have yelled at Burble at this precise moment. I should have saved it for some place less fraught with danger. I apologize, deeply. I'll understand if you want me to leave, being such a burden to you all as I am..."

YES! LEAVE NOW! Meepo wanted to scream. Go, feed yourself to the rats. Better yet, fall on Worthless Druid. Jaryth hung his head low, awaiting judgement.

"If we stop to rest every time one of us is scratched, then those noble children will die of old age by the time we rescue them." Lorn said testily. Falling on a druid hadn't knocked any sense into him. Maybe if it happened a few more times… But Meepo could only dream of seeing Lorn crush Embrill again.

"We're not going to be getting the award. The townsfolk think we killed Thurston. They'll skin us alive the instant we step foot in there." Jaryth sighed.

"Yeah maybe, but we got too many wounded and I am out of spells just about. If you can get your healing back Lorn, please do so or if you got some better idea of what to do. Me, I bet ya the kiddies are dead and we get the reward with the rings even if they are dead, so I am going to watch out for myself and the wounded, You want to go after them now, go for it. Me, I am going to get the hell out of here." Burble countered.

Jaryth decided to bother Meepo some more as the kobold weighed the benefits and costs of cleansing the Embrill's wounds with certain of his bodily fluids.

"You shouldn't touch him. If you do, he might wake up and turn you into a goblin. Druids can do that y'know. Same as with wizards and sorcerers."

"Meepo like goblin. Goblin make nice Meepo's stomach." Meepo smiled viciously at Jaryth.

Rhea had some thoughts for Meepo too. "You disgust me." Meepo wondered if she had read his intentions. He chose prudence all the same. Best not to upset the humans too much. The kobold wasn't clear on whether Rhea intended to include Burble in her pronouncement or not. She was looking about midway between the two.

"Yeah, so we love you to. Remember, it was Embrill who first spat at and scorned my offers and he made it clear he did not want a single thing from me. He was the one that was a standoffish lout and insulted me at every turn. Meepo saved my butt, did Embrill even try to heal me when I was dying and in a coma? Hells no. That was all Lorn and for that I am beholden to him. So I says, what goes around comes around."

“Now I ain't no innocent, but at least I was honest. Was he? We can try to lift him out and I will climb next to him. Go slow, careful and we might get him out, I have one last healing that can maybe save him, but I want to save that just in case he starts to slip. That good enough for ya Rhea, or you going to pine for the druid and mope?" Meepo appreciated that Burble was standing up against the humans. It reassured him that his friend hadn't lost his mind.

"Listen here, shorty,” Rhea shot back. “The only thing I've seen in this misbegotten adventure is you flapping your mouth and springing traps at every turn. Half these battles
would've never even happened if you hadn't used your as-yet-to-be-proven skills as a theif to get us through here safely. That druid not only saved my life, but others here as well... He's healed us and kept rats at bay... And not to mention my keeping those rats at bay while small-and-less here stuffed back in your cold, black innards. I hope your kobold buddy makes a warm bed-partner, because with your mouth, it's probably all you could get. I've had it to the gills with this nonsense. If no one'll do anything... Then to the hells with all of you. I'll do it myself."

Lorn suddenly recalled that Embrill had been hurt. "Burble, heal him," the falling warrior ordered. "It is my fault he was hurt. I would gladly heal himself if I still had the blessing of Heironeous. If you do this, I will consider myself in your debt."

Debt. That could be valuable. But it was Lorn's debt. Would the human be bright enough to honor it when called upon? He was certainly too slow to think to twist the wording of his obligations or find other ways to elude them, but the wit to honor them? Meepo thought not. This was Lorn, after all.

"Lorn, I owe ya, and I do not naysay that, but you know how much you're asking? I got one minor healing left till tomorrow. I also have my own wounds and Meepo's. I wasted one healing on Jaryth and look what that brought about. We need to rest, I do not deny that, but is Embrill really that much to you? He has held himself above us all and called me scum. What has he done to deserve to get any extra help from me?" Burble asked reluctantly.

"Way to be the better person, Burble. When I was in the guild, anyone talking like that ended up on the wrong side of the Nyr Dyv. We're companions whether we like it or not. We're involved in something greater than a dead paladin, or our own meager pride, or even some noble's kids. We here to do something good. Even if we don't realize that. And, if we can't even be amiable towards each other, how do we expect to see through to the end of this?"

Jaryth sighed and looked at the group. His eyes lingered for a time on Burble's. "I say let's bury the dagger. We've had our falling outs, let's be done with them. What do you all say? Can we be comrades and move on with our lives and adventures? Or, are we going to stand here have it out, all of us, until He Who Sleeps comes for us all?"

Burble sighed. "Ok Kid. I don't like the druid and I think you did enough as well to have this all happen, but I want to continue to work with Sal and I know he has a more open heart then I might. I will do what you ask and if it works, then we can get out of here and rest. Just remember, if he starts to throw insults or pisses me off, all bets are off and he can go eat dung and be rat food."

“I agree the druid is worthless, but we may have to help him to keep the others about. Not sure, just not sure." Burble tried to reassure Meepo, but he wasn't especially convincing. Why was it that the humans and their stupidity had to be so damned insistent?

Jaryth wandered over to Lorn now. "Lorn, it wasn't your fault. It was mine. Or maybe Burble's. Hell, blame one of the nature gods for making the damned rats. Or, maybe, whoever it was who invented gravitiy." Jaryth looked intently into Lorn's eyes. "But it wasn't your fault. Alright?"

Of course it was Lorn's fault! Stupid insane human whelps… He climbed down the rope too fast and fell like a stone. How could it possibly not be his fault?

Finally, Burble worked his healing prayer on Embrill. Meepo resigned himself to yet more days lusting after the sight of Embrill's corpse at his feet and knowing it was never to be so.

"Ok Embrill, stop faking it. You're alive through every fault of your own. Heal yourself the rest of the way so we can get the hells out of here." Burble nudged Embrill with his foot on completing his spell.

Embrill's eyes flutted and he spasmed, choking on a throatfull of his own blood. Meepo rather liked that sound. He spit it up with a violent coughing fit, staining his chin and throat more with the sticky red mess. His eyes moved quickly over the group, taking stock of his surroundings. Meepo tried to look menacing.

The Worthless Druid drew himself up and near to the rock wall of the ravine. He wiped the blood from his mouth and slung it in the dirt as he called out, "RIKI!" A whimpering sound comes from above as his wolf lover looked down over the edge of the ravine.

Embrill looked up at him for a moment before looking about the ledge amongst the rat bodies. "Where are my things? Who took them?" He spotted Rhea gathering some of his things that had flown about when Lorn hit him.

He staggered her way with a groan that Meepo savored. "I'm fine now. I can carry my own things.” Embrill took them back from Rhea and began to climb the rope without another word.

Could it be? Was he actually leaving of his own free will? This was almost as good as seeing him dead!

“So that is what I get for being nice eh? Well that fricken druid can eat crap then. Blast his worthless hide. So Rhea,, you happy now? You Jaryth? Was it really worth it to keep him alive when he acts like such an ass? Gods." Burble was unsurprisingly less than ecstatic to see his healing go entirely to waste, and Meepo didn't blame him. He was too happy to see the druid leaving to worry too long about specifics, though.

"Come on Meepo, let's go find a good place to camp. These ungrateful louts have pissed me off. Sal, you coming? You want to stay off with me and Meepo, or are you heading to work with the bastrich Embrill?" Taking charge again. Burble was their leader with Embrill gone. He wasn't even challenged. It was all very cunningly done. Maybe Burble had kobold blood.

"Burble make nice you.” Meepo called up at Embrill, trying not to raise his voice too high. "Burble wasted magic." Then he offered his advice in campsites, away from the human's burning sun up above. "Meepo think camp inside. Find room with door. More rats come if stay too long here."

Burble nodded. "You're right buddy I should have left him and said the hells with him. You're also right that we should move on and work on our missions and goals. I got some
thoughts with what to say with Yusdrayl, so maybe that is something to do tomorrow after we rest. We can hole up in that empty room across the way where we found that barrel. Sal, you willing to stick it out down here? I have no desire to be anywhere around that scum up above and for all I know, he has deserted us like he did when we all met back in the inn. Me, I am with Meepo here and I say lets head out. We killed or drove off a good number of the rats and so should be able to make good time."

Meepo had no idea what Burble was referring to about the inn, but it was about Embrill. Meepo basked in the glow of the realization that Embrill really was gone. The druid had already reached the top of the rope and vanished out of sight. He felt more confident, relaxed, and overall happy than he had since Calcryx had been taken. Meepo almost felt his old self again. Plans of revenge on his clan flowed smoothly through his mind. His chief obstacle gone, things were so much easier.

Jaryth and Burble were sniping at each other about honor amongst thieves or something, but Meepo couldn't care less. Nothing could shatter his contentment now. He had reached a higher level of joy, unlike anything he had experienced in so very long that even Lorn's, Rowland's, and Jaryth's stupidity together couldn't shake him out of it. Embrill was off in his woods with his wolf mate and all was well in the world.

The group cooperated after some arguing and inane mumblings from Rowland. A quick trip up the rope was made to fetch the supplies left on Burble's mule and then it was back into the cool darkness away from the burning sun. Embrill was gone. The sun was off his scales…things just couldn't get much better for Meepo.

The group settled in for a day or two in a large room just outside kobold territory. Meepo knew of it, but had never entered it before. It was empty save for some dust and a few small piles of stones. The door was tightly secured and the night passed quietly. In the morning healing was used and most of the group was reasonably ready to move on.

First, though, they decided they wanted to have Sal and his huge muscles examine an iron keg they'd been unable to open before. It was just across the hallway. Meepo knew no good would come of it. It was a human idea, after all. But of course, they wouldn't listen to reason. Apparently they thought there must be some kind of treasure or something inside the keg.

So across the hallway they went, Sal in the lead. Burble opened a door carved with fish and in he and Lorn filed to give this iron keg a closer look. Meepo paid close attention and made sure he knew the best way to run. He'd never heard of the door with fish on it being opened, though Yusdrayl had tried for a good while. Even Calcryx hadn't been able to break it down.

Sal stood squarely in front of the keg and the party readied themselves for anything. Meepo just knew that he'd pay for this. The humans wanted to see what was in the keg too badly. That couldn't possibly be good. With one heave, the dwarf yanked the stopper out.

Water geysered out of the keg in a sudden rush, forming into the shape of a bizarre fish-man, covered with scales and staring at the group through huge, bulbous black eyes no taller than Meepo. It took only a moment for the fish-man to open its huge mouth and draw in a great, watery breath of air as it raises spiny, webbed claws.

Meepo got ready to die. He'd never heard of fish-things like this. Human stupidity was going to kill him after all. Suddenly, all the joy he'd known when Embrill left seemed very far away.

With this strange, menacing fish-thing that had burst out of the keg and brandished claws at the group, Sal tried to talk to it.

"Nobody attack until it does." He warned off the group. Yes, that was an excellent plan. Let's everyone wait until it kills us before we attack it. Sal spoke directly to the fish thing, "We mean you no harm. We were hoping that this barrel held a cure for a sickened friend. If you do choose to attack we are all ready for your attack and prepared to defend ourselves."


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*Meepo's Story Hour, Book II: More Stupid Human Tricks*

That last was the end of the old thread. This begins the newer.

XIII-The Competition.
Wherein our hero discovers more of human values.

Talk to the monster. Meepo couldn't believe it. Talk to the monster. It wasn't even a human idea. The dwarf thought it up. Talk to the monster… and entertain it with your pithy wit while it eats us alive. It would be unconscionable to allow a monster to be bored while eating you. It went against the human way.

Even in at this moment, when his life was certainly about to end, Meepo recognized that he had codified a new article of human behavior. In reverence to their gods, who loved the stupid, they must choose the stupidest manner possible in which to die. Now the drive to throw themselves back into the jaws of rats, goblins, and worse in this ravine made much more sense to Meepo.

Meepo worried about that. Did his growing understanding mean he had become infected with human foolishness? At least with strange water creatures leaping out of great iron kegs there wasn't that great of a chance that he'd know before he died. Kurtulmak has a strange sense of humor.

"Damn it Sal. Now is not the time to talk. ATTACK this **** and then worry later. It's about to breath on you, you dimwit. PULL the swords and attack." Burble yelled as he began a prayer to his god. If the disease that was human thought had spread, it still hadn't infected Meepo's halfling friend.

Lorn, of course, could be counted on to be the most virulently stupid of all humans. "What manner of creature are you? And be thee friend of foe?" Meepo vaguely resented that Lorn's fall hadn't killed Embrill outright, even if the Worthless Dung Druid was still gone. He also wondered how menacing fish-things made of water brandishing claws could be considered friends.

Rhea slid quietly past Meepo and to the side. The kobold glanced at her for a moment. She seemed to be edging back towards the ravine and out of the fish-thing's field of view. Meepo took a small step in the same direction, but then his burning red eyes fell once more on Burble, fully engrossed in his invocation of the Laughing Rogue.

Meepo's foot stopped in mid-stride and he felt sick inside. His guts sunk towards his tail. He couldn't just leave Burble here. The humans and dwarf were nothing to him…but Burble had defended him against Embrill and killed Thurston with him. Meepo looked again towards the ravine, but forced himself to turn away. Burble was his friend. He'd never had one of those before and decided he wasn't ready to give it up yet.

The humans all waited, so Meepo readied his crossbow and waited as well. He was positive this would be the end of him, but he wasn't forsaking Burble. A ghostly spider melted into being around Jaryth and carried him up along a wall to the ceiling of the corridor the better part of the humans and Meepo stood in. He hung upside down and looked into the room where Lorn and Sal faced off against the fish-thing. No rope or hook held the boy, only the legs of his spectral spider.

The fish-thing stood motionless for a second. The air hung heavy with tension as Burble continued his prayer. Then, the fish-thing vomited up a great gout of searing water that burned everything it touched. Screams went up as its watery vomit seared at kobold and human flesh alike. Jaryth was struck full in the face and his mouth and nose filled with the burning waters. The mad whelp coughed a single time and his spider shivered as his body fell limp. Jaryth hung by his hands and feet from the ceiling, his head dangling lifelessly downward and his eyes open and unfocused as blood drooled steadily out of his mouth and trickled from his nostrils.

Meepo himself was unharmed, as was Burble, but the dwarf and Lorn took the worst of the blast. Bryant too was wounded. Rhea took a single look at Jaryth's newly-made corpse hanging from the ceiling and ran for her life out into the ravine. Meepo took a sudden step after her before remembering Burble again and stopping himself.

Despite the screams and carnage, Meepo got off a shot. He and Bryant both missed the fish-thing, hitting the ceiling with arrow and bolt alike. Burble finally spoke the last of his prayer aloud; "I call on my God, the True, Gambler and Laugher at our fates. To my foe I say, miss and be hurt, for you are truly accursed."

The creature hesitated a moment as a wave of unseen force struck it to its core. Not a scale slid out of place, but it was somehow lessened all the same. Rowland hurled one of his magical bolts, which struck the fish-thing and sent ripples across its scales as though it were a stone hitting a pond.

Sal and Lorn struck together at the fish-thing, but found its scales even harder than Meepo's. Their strikes accomplished nothing. Sal howled out his outrage, "You scaly monster from hell, how dare you! I offered you a freedom and peace and you attack my friends and me with your vile breath! For that you will taste steel, I only hope as you feel it going through you, you remember that you chose your demise. May your god show you pity, for my swords will show you none!” At least he figured out now that this thing wasn't friendly.

The fish-thing turned to Rowland and impaled him with a baleful, glassy-eyed stare. Those empty, soulless eyes brimmed with power and Meepo cringed away from the dragonblooded boy until Sal struck the thing with his sword and the malefic energy vanished.

Burble's hand glowed with energy as he leaped into the air, trying to touch Jaryth's back and stop the boy's rapid bleeding, to no avail. Short halfling legs could only carry him so far into the air. Jaryth coughed again and the stream of blood flowing from his mouth burst forth eagerly, like floodwaters down a river. Meepo wondered how much blood such a small human could hold. If Jaryth had so much in him, Meepo may want to fast for a few days before he tried to drink up all inside such a large vessel as Rowland.

Spined claws tore into Sal as the fish-thing continued its assault. Meepo had sent two more crossbow bolts after his first, and like the first neither had so much as inconvenienced the acid-spewing fish-thing. Burble again leaped for Jaryth and again fell short while Sal and Lorn hacked at it with their swords. Bryant pushed forward to join them and Rowland tossed another arcane bolt into its body.

Now swords were having some effect, and the creature could only seal the rents in its scaly hide more slowly. Made of water though it may be, the fish-thing's substance flowed with less speed than before. Its eyes cast about and wide, milky lids flicked over them repeatedly. Jaryth coughed once more, spraying Burble with his blood.

Once more Meepo sensed power building around the fish-thing, but Sal hacked savagely into it and it suddenly lost all cohesion as the energy vanished and it fell to a puddle in the floor.

That was quick, too quick. Meepo expected the thing to rise again in moments. It had only begun to slow. Whatever water demon it had been, it must still have a trick up its sleeve. Burble leaped again and this time he touched Jaryth's backside. The boy's bleeding stopped and Meepo sighed. It would have been nice to lose both the mad boy and Embrill in the same day.

Sal grumbled and stabbed his sword into the puddle regardless, "Bloody floating fish, it deserved to die." He then trod pointedly through the puddle and reached into the keg from which it had emerged. Meepo wondered if he'd lose his hand that way, but instead the dwarf drew out five small blue gems.

Burble was on top of things, as always. "Ok boyos, good job and that was a great hit Sal. Now will someone help to get the runt down before he falls on his head and starts to bleed out again?"

Meepo didn't see exactly what was wrong with letting Jaryth fall to his death. The whelp had already tried it once today, and a second time would only improve his chances of succeeding. He made a mental note to keep a close eye on Sal, though. Anyone that could fell a water-thing with a single blow when it had barely been wounded deserved watching. He'd been showing off his martial prowess for some time, but if Meepo had meant to set to watching the dwarf before, he'd forgotten his charge. Sal would make a very useful bodyguard.

Burble carefully looked over the gems Sal had found and pronounced them valuable, though not greatly so. He'd only examined the problem of getting Jaryth off the ceiling for a moment before deciding it was of no import to him. Meepo heartily agreed.

The others looked curiously at Jaryth, still hanging some ten feet from the floor while Burble noticed Rhea was gone. Meepo told him she'd fled during the battle, judiciously avoiding admitting that he'd nearly followed. Burble was outraged, "Damn that b****. I will gut her for taking off in combat, Damn wench deserves to be fed to the fricken rats for her damn cowardly butt."

Lorn responded stiffly, "You should not talk about Rhea as such. She was a woman, and this is no place for her. It was about time she realized it." This was no place for a kobold either, but of course Lorn couldn't be bothered with such trifles as Meepo's peace of mind. If he were, he'd have killed himself long ago, instead of just trying every now and then. Meepo wished for once the lackwit could get something right.

Burble had been bandaging his and Meepo's wounds, but he stopped in the middle of wrapping a cloth about a bleeding cut in his leg to reply to Lorn with his customary tact, "Well you want her, go chase after her yellow bellied ass. I personally will slit her throat for stealing our oil and gold. Now we shall have to head to a town a lot sooner then we planned on.”

Meepo was impressed with Burble's forthrightness. It wasn't often a non-kobold displayed such exemplary priorities in such a frank and honest manner. The halfling must have kobold blood in him somewhere. If it weren't for that burn-scarred face, Meepo wondered if he'd see scales around Burble's eyes.

The humans fell silent for a few moments, and looked up at Jaryth. They all knew he couldn't stay on the ceiling forever. Eventually that spider would vanish entirely and he would fall to the ground. It was Rowland who acted quickly when it finally vanished. He spoke a single word and Meepo again felt a thrill of energy as Jaryth's fall slowed to a gentle descent to the ground. He was awfully disappointed that the whelp's brains didn't end up decorating the floor along with his blood. Damn Rowland.

But Meepo didn't have long to bemoan Jaryth's continued life. The door at the far end of the hallway, where Rhea had run, creaked suddenly. The woman had left it ajar when she fled, and now a light spilled through the small crack between the door's edge and the wall.

"Oh blast it!" a man's voice hissed as the door creaked. There was a long silence and Burble drew his bow. Meepo got his crossbow in hand and a bolt ready. Burble scurried quietly a bit closer to the door.

"Huh?" the same voice whispered. There was another silence and then, "Oh all right!"

The door opened wide and torchlight dazzled human and kobold eyes alike for a moment. The group's own light was at the other end of the corridor, nearer to Jaryth. A tall figure was shadowed by the light, and beside him a shorter one of a height with Burble and Meepo. The silhouette of a recurved bow was obvious in the tall figure's hand. It looked to be drawn.

The two shadowed figures whispered too quietly to discern words, but eventually the shorter one nudged the taller. He raised his bow a bit higher. It wasn't clear whether the two realized they'd been spotted or not. The tall figure took a single step further and as his light fell on the nearest members of the group, Burble shot an arrow that struck hard into the figure's shoulder.

"Get those bastards. Trying to sneak up on me, will you. Meepo take them out. Might be Rhea trying to sneak back the damn wench. Teach her a lesson I tell you. May the rats get your bloated bodies you filth of dung." The halfling shouted.

"Good shot to be sure, but even with an arrow in my shoulder, I can still pin a fly to the wall in the dark. How about you show yourself before this has to get messy?" The tall figure spoke. He almost sounded as though he were amused.

Trust a human to be amused by an arrow sticking out of his shoulder. Meepo wondered if this were amusing, would they find one through their skulls downright hilarious? He'd have to find out some day.

"Sneak up me will you? And bet your bloated life it was a good shot. Drop your weapons and identify yourself, or you get shot again. Laugh at me while you try to kill me? No way Bucko. No fricken way. " Burble nocked another arrow.

The small figure whispered just audibly to the tall one, "Perhaps they are dumber than even Lord Semmon realized..." Meepo didn't know who Lord Semmon was, but the humans he was saddled with were certainly stupider than any would imagine until one endured prolonged exposure to them.

Lorn spoke up, "The two of you invade our camp, and then insult us when we defend ourselves. You would be wise to identify yourselves, or Burble's bolt will not be the only thing causing you to bleed."

"Thanks Lorn and you said it. Damned idiots come up without a care and you bet your rear I will shoot first. Could have been goblins for all I knew." Meepo thought that sounded like a rationalization. Burble must be thinking fast on his feet and trying to play the group against these strangers to strengthen his power base.

"Which isn't much." Lorn said, referring to all Burble knew. Meepo reminded himself that even with Embrill gone, there were still threats to Burble's power around.

"Lord Semmon say you? How do you know of that one?" Burble wasn't so hostile now. Lord Semmon sounded like a chieftan. Maybe he had threatened to kill the humans if they didn't fetch these other humans that the group was looking for. "Meepo, cover them and get ready to kill them should they try to attack." As if Meepo needed to be told. "Ok, identify yourselves."

The small figure responded again. It must do the thinking for the human. "We were not aware these halls were your singular province. We have been sent by Lord Semmon, in search of the... rescue… party sent by his knights. Lower your weapons."

A light was brought forward. Rowland's doing. Now the newcomers could see the whole of the group. Shut up in this corridor, they'd make wonderful targets. Meepo hoped Lorn and Jaryth died first. "This three are all that remain of the original party sent by Lord Semmon.” Lorn gestured to Bryant, Sal, and Burble. “I have joined them in this worthy cause. Don't ask about those two.” He gestured towards Meepo and Jaryth.

Humans learned swiftly. Talking hadn't worked for the fish-thing, so it must work for the next thing with two legs they ran into.

"Is it safe to move forward, or will another volley of arrows send us to death's embrace?" Meepo noticed how hoarse and raspy the small figure's voice was. He wondered what was under that cloak which kept it hidden. A small owl perched on its shoulder. The tall one was a thin human, another Lorn most likely.

"Well you're the ones coming up on us, and you have yet to identify yourselves or show who you are, so you bet I will keep you covered. We have faced death enough, so I can live with another time to keep my wards up." Burble was angry, but there was an edge to it. He must realize that the party was still battered from their battle with the fish-thing. Maybe if they threw Jaryth at the strangers… It would be a distraction at least.

Burble took the risk and introduced himself. Meepo supposed it was wise. These strangers might end up being useful tools, and they'd be easier to manipulate if they knew names. Humans tended to trust more when they knew a name, at least when it was another human's name. Kobold names didn't get such consideration.

"Burble, lower your weapon and let them speak." Lorn insisted. Meepo noticed that for all Lorn's bluster about letting the humans speak he hadn't revealed his own name to them yet.

"Then you go talk with them, me, I am staying right here. They can speak all they want, but I damn well do not want them closer till I know some names and what they want with us."

"FINALLY! The voice of sanity comes to us like a cool breeze off the waters! My thanks to you good sir. A round at the pub has your name on it, my treat!" The tall one complimented Lorn. He bowed, but didn't put up his bow.

"Colvin of Keoland. I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier. I'm sure had I done so, you would have recognized the name and not been so hasty with your bow, my little friend. After all, it's not every day one catches the fastest bowstring on both sides of the Azure Sea unawares!" Meepo had no idea who the human was. He couldn't be that important. In fact, Meepo couldn't think of any human who struck him as terribly important.

"Lord Semmon tasked us to check these ruins for signs of his wards. He likely assumed you all dead by this point I'm guessing. What a treat to see you alive and.." he touched the arrow sticking from his shoulder with a wince "...in such fighting form."


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*XIV-Missing, and Found*

Wherein our hero finds a missing companion, and hears of past misadventures.

Lord Semmon, some sun-loving god-kissing human from the aboveground had sent Burble and the humans here. This same Lord Semmon had sent these two newcomers. That was typical. Only a human would send two groups of humans after the same goal and expect anything short of utter ruin. One gathering of daylight-fetishists was bad enough. Two was a kobold's nightmare. Meepo was glad he hadn't conceived of it in his dreams. He needed what sleep he could get; knowing that for some time in the night Lorn would be guarding him.

The tall one was another Lorn. Meepo was positive. He wasn't so heavily armored, but he had Burble's arrow sticking out of his shoulder and he was smiling about it. The two suicidal warriors would surely find companionship in their shared idiocy. Granted, most all humans Meepo had met shared some of Lorn's disregard for his own life, but few seemed to take such perverse glee in throwing their lives away then these two. Their gods must love them.

Sal spoke up, not content with seeing how well talking had done last time he tried it. "Burble, perhaps I could meet them part way and we could talk without you putting any more arrows in their hides? Lorn, would you care to join me? And Meepo, how about lowering that crossbow so I don't end up with another projectile sticking out of my shoulder."

That offended Meepo. He hadn't shot Sal in the shoulder. That was Bryant. If Sal wanted to kill anyone over it, he should kill the quiet human. No, that was a bad idea. Sal should kill one of the blathering humans first to make Meepo's days that much quieter. But a kobold could only dream.

"Go for it Sal. Just watch your rear." Burble said.

Meepo sighed. He might as well play along. He lowered his crossbow and cast his eyes towards the floor in what he imagined was a look of contrition. "Meepo not shoot Sal. Bryant shoot Sal. Meepo shoot Embrill." He finished with a self-satisfied nod and held his snout high. At least he had set the record straight.

Then Meepo realized his error. This must be corrected. "No, Meepo shoot Worthless Druid." He spit on the floor and raised his snout even higher. "Worthless Druid with wolf
mate." The thought of it restored some of that contentment within him.

"You're right my friend and I am just sorry that I ever broke down to help that ******* or you could not have killed him with your shot. Hope that the damned rats can track him down and kill him for all to see." That was a nice thought on Burble's part. It warmed Meepo's heart. " I would join you in the spit Meepo, but not that fricker is not even worth spit."

Meepo nodded, "Meepo think rats not like Worthless Druid. Worthless Druid worth something if makes nice rat stomachs. Meepo say Worthless Druid worthless all the time." Having espoused his personal philosophy on the matter, Meepo was momentarily content.

Sal worked his way through the group, "I'm not going to apologize for my friends actions there, we have had some... problems on this rescue mission, but I think I may be able to
help all of us out if you will allow me to come over and talk with you two."

Problems? They had problems? Meepo hadn't guessed. Could those problems be mad, suicidal, humans? No, humans were only like that in the stories. Never mind that those stories are based entirely on reality.

Sal leaned towards Meepo and Burble as he passed the friends, "If things go south, I'm going to leap to the left side of the corridor, do me a favor and aim to the right slightly..." He continued speaking up and addressing the newcomers again. "Ha, I see you have a fine lantern there. Just out of curiosity do you happen to have any extra oil in your packs? We suddenly find ourselves with less than we'd like to have."

Maybe this could go well after all. Sal wasn't quite so stupid as Lorn or Rowland. He couldn't be or Burble wouldn't call him a friend. Burble clearly had impeccable taste in friends. How else would he have named Meepo a friend?

The tall one had relaxed a bit. "Certainly! I'm sure it'll be to all of our advantages to parley for a bit. And as for this?" he indicated his wound "It's nothing that some ointment and a nice clean bandage won't help." He winced as he mentioned it. Meepo hoped it hurt. He deserved it for sneaking up on the group like that. Besides, he was a human. It's not like accidentally maiming a human would be something to feel bad about. Colvin leaned suddenly to one side and Meepo hoped he would fall. The tall archer steadied himself, though.

"Well, I'm not too sure about the oil. It's Rillith's lantern and I suppose she would know better than I how much oil she has. I only have a couple of torches myself. But should you need them..."

Rillith. That was the short one's name. It must be. Now what was she under those robes? A halfling? A kobold? Could she be a gnome? Meepo hated gnomes. All sane folk did. Everyone knew what murderous, cutthroats gnomes were. They snuck into kobold homes at night and stole away hatchlings for their sick gods to devour. They conducted midnight ceremonies to steal the lives of innocent kobolds to bolster their own flagging souls. Meepo could not, would not stand for that under any circumstances.

Every civilized kobold knew that gnome hatchlings were to be stolen in the night and sacrificed to Kurtulmak. Gnomes, in their perversity, had it entirely backwards. Likewise, gnome souls existed only to feed kobold souls. By their very existence, gnomes polluted the world. Sick deviants and worse were the respected leaders of gnome society.

"Here, let me take a look at that. It's the least we can do after one of our group decided to shoot first, and ask questions later." Lorn said as he stepped forward to examine Colvin's wound.

After all of this, Burble seemed to remember he had a tongue again. "So you're Colvin, eh? Well Semmon sent you and you found us, though I wonder at the timing. Well you can talk with Lorn, Rowland, Bryant, or even Sal if he wants. Me I will keep an eye on you and your … companion. I have had too many troubles with newcomers and idiots who split out with money and goods. So I see you're an archer. What or who is your ... friend? As you heard from others, I am Burble."

Burble was right to be suspicious of the small one, but he was overlooking the danger Colvin presented. Just because he was foolish enough to name himself didn't mean that he wasn't a threat. Just look how dangerous Lorn was despite what must have been a crippling head injury in his childhood.

Rowland roused himself from staring into his bird's tail feathers or whatever it was he was doing. Seeing the newcomers apparently for the first time, he introduced himself, "Hi. I'm Rowland. Kid Sorcerer." Meepo couldn't see how humans let live someone who introduced himself like that. "Glad to meet you. Do either of you have any healing prowess? Our young friend here is sorely injured." Rowland indicated Jaryth.

After considering Colvin's injury, Rowland continued, "Um...not that I meant to dismiss your injury, sir. Just that the boy is near death."

"Sadly I do not. As for my companion?" Colvin looked questioningly at the short one next to him. It merely shook its head. Meepo desperately wanted to know what was under those dark robes.

Burble chimed in., "Well if they cannot, I will heal the brat tomorrow, after I get some healing back from the Rogue of All. Silly twit climbing up like that only made himself a target." Meepo sighed. The things Burble did to keep the peace with these fools and idiots he was saddled with. Of course they lacked the wit to appreciate them.

"Oh no! Not at all." Colvin replied. He then answered Lorn, "My thanks to you, good sir. Did I catch your name perchance?" His short companion stepped away to one side and tended the owl perched on its shoulder.

Colvin took the time to address Burble as Lorn tended his wound, "Well met, Sir Burble. I understand your..OWW! ...caution. You have my word though that Rillith and myself mean you...” He hesitated as he winced in pain. “…no ill will." Meepo made note of the short one's name.

"My name is Lorn Gallain, former paladin at your service." Yes, the name Meepo cursed every waking moment. Now that Embrill was gone, he didn't have much active opposition, but Lorn's raw stupidity could easily be the end of everyone.

Sal must have had enough of his precious talking, so he suggested something new. "My name is Sal Lodrun, and I'm glad to meet ya. If you're offering your help here, I for one will gladly accept it. We can use all the help we can get. But perhaps we could talk in a nice closed-door room and not in the hallway here. These hallways have nearly killed
Burble, myself and if we don't get to work, they might finish off Jaryth here. Perhaps you will join us in helping to get him to a room we've been hole'in up in?"

The hallways finishing off Jaryth… That was a pleasant thought. Meepo wished the floor would grow a mouth and devour the mad whelp where he lay. Sal suggested a makeshift stretcher to move Jaryth, and the others agreed. While they got to work, he pulled Burble aside. Meepo was there too, of course. He had no intention of helping get Jaryth out of the hallway.

"Burble, I know the kid is a pain, and you have a pretty good hatred of him, but we need him on his feet again. He may prove himself to be of a great help to us. Remember, he's a kid, he's going to make some mistakes."

Some mistakes? Only some mistakes? The whelp's whole life could have only been a mistake. Meepo doubted even humans laid eggs intending to produce children that, even by their lax standards, were clearly insane.

"I will agree with you Sal, that we should all get behind the locked door and rest. I am tired of the fighting at least for today. With Jaryth, I do not hate the pain, just am sick and tired of his mouth and insults. I had enough of them from Embrill and even Rhea. I said it before, I will heal him tomorrow, and so unless the other with Corwin has healing, it will have to wait. I will attend his wounds through the night, as well as others, and I might ask Lorn to help me with mine. Tomorrow I will have healing back. I only have the one minor and I will save that until I sleep in case we have combat again."

The thought of Lorn helping Burble didn't sit at all well with Meepo, but he couldn't help it. Even with his vast kobold experience he knew only to bandage bleeding wounds. The finer points of medicine were well beyond him. Lorn couldn't be much better, but Burble seemed to think so. That was an unsettling revelation, to say the least.

Colvin interjected, "That's COLVIN. Colvin. Mustn't have the wrong name make it's
way into the bard's tales now, eh?" He grinned like an idiot. Meepo noted that Colvin seemed to do that a lot. Burble just shrugged.

Gravely, Rowland reacted to the halfling's offer of healing for Jaryth. "We'd all appreciate it very much, Burble. Please help Jaryth." The humans would appreciate Burble? Meepo didn't believe it. They certainly hadn't before.

With little further yammering, Meepo and the humans filed back into the same room they'd rested within before and passed the day and night quietly. Meepo didn't much care for how quickly these strangers had been accepted, but he knew the humans wouldn't take his cautions seriously. They weren't bright enough to understand the objections in any case.

Morning found Lorn complaining of fever and stiff, painful joints. That was exactly what Sal had suffered before, according to Burble. Meepo knew it to be a sign of the rat sickness, carried by the foul beasts on their grime-caked teeth. Some kobolds had died from it. Perhaps Lorn would join them. Meepo would gladly suffer the loss of such an appealing target for foes in exchange for not attracting so many in the first place.

Burble made the rounds with his healing magic. Meepo wondered if his god minded that it was wasted on witless humans.

Jaryth had mended well, and he wasted no time polluting the chamber with his prattle once more. "Hmm… Do you know how to cure diseases? I saw a priest do it once...
But… then again the guy ended up dead anyways, so I'm not sure if he really did cure the man, or just pretended to. I wouldn't heal someone if a knife were pressed to my throat, probably try and save it for myself...."

Alarms went off in Meepo's mind. The whelp might still be mad, but he was showing signs of a dangerous level of intelligence again. Rillith had remained quiet and stayed off out of the way with her bird. Meepo didn't like it. She was too quiet and wary. She must be a threat. This day of rest had become more and more stressful for Meepo.

"Nope, not in me at this time. I am but a minor cog in the Rogue of All's gamble. All I can suggest is some good rest and myself watching over him. Or he can move on and try to just live with the effects. I know I came very close to getting sick yesterday, but I had the grace of my God to draw a new card in deck of life." Burble deigned to answer the whelp.

"Sorry Lorn, only thing that is going to help you is rest and sleep. I can't do more then I already have... Hope you can walk, if we are heading out. Seeing our oil, courtesy of the witch Rhea, is so damned low, if we are not going into combat we should head back to the surface and rest near the mounts. I am getting tired of this room, plus it's starting to stink with or waste and all. We only got enough food for about four days and oil for maybe two." Burble was right; the room did reek. Humans weren't sensible enough to sleep well away from where they left their waste. Meepo wondered if wallowing in it was one of their religious observances.

"Ack! Another sign of my shame. Heironeous has withdrawn his protection against ailments from me." Lorn moaned. Meepo decided he would at least enjoy Lorn's suffering while it lasted, death or no. "I think I will be alright for the time being."

"You should not be so hard on Rhea," Lorn continued weakly. "She was a woman and did not truly belong in such a dangerous occupation. You can't blame her for panicking." Meepo thought Lorn was letting his being in heat interfere with his thinking, what little of it he did. He couldn't imagine the stupid human having any other reason for such a foolish statement. Yusdrayl would have had his precious parts for that. Meepo dearly wished he were in a position to do the same. Things like Lorn shouldn't be able to spawn.

"Do you realize what you're saying?" Jaryth asked Lorn incredulously.

"Sorry warrior, I disagree with you. She stole from the group, bugged out when she could have left before we came down, and treated me like dung. So I will have to think of her as I see fit. You have your way and I have mine. You want to try to go rest above?" Burble asked almost amiably.

Sal was considering the situation and ignoring Lorn and Jaryth. "I don't think we should head back up yet. This has been the only place we've been able to sleep undisturbed by ourselves. Even with trip lines and posting watches we still will have to assume that we'll be getting some sort of company at some time. There's too much activity up there already.”

“I suggest a couple of other alternatives. For the lack of oil, let's try conserving what we have left. Since we've got people that can see in dim light or even no light, let's make use of that. We can have watches set up to watch the only door, and some sort of system light the lantern if and when we do see some sort of movement. It won't be easy for those in the dark, but it would save some oil. Another suggestion, instead of heading everybody back up to the top, let's send part of the group up, those that are healthy and able to travel. We could take a look and see if Rhea left those supplies someplace along the way, or if she even made it to the top at all. But if we do go, we'll have to do it with very little noise. That seems to be attracting those rats faster than Bard's to an Inn."

Sal's eyes wandered freely, ensuring that his rambling singled out no one person.

"If you don't mind the dumb barbarian making a few suggestions, how about Meepo, Burble, Jaryth and Lorn staying here. Meepo has the ability to see when it's dark so that the group could keep the use of the lantern oil to a minimum. The rest of us could head back up and see if we could find any traces of Rhea and those supplies. We could also check on the animials if we wanted to. If we travel quickly we should be able to make it there and back in less than a day."

"For a dumb barbarian, you make a lot of sense." Jaryth grinned that mad grin again. "But, it might be unwise to leave us without a strong and healthy warrior--no offense Lorn. Although, it does give us time to talk about some things." Meepo would be entirely happy to leave Jaryth with Lorn if the whelp was set on it. He could see it now. Lorn and Jaryth holed up together in their own filth with a neat trail of rations leading to the door left accidentally ajar.

Lorn fixed Jaryth with a stare. "Even ill I'm more than enough for the likes of you."

"I mean… You talk about the rule of good and law, and yet insist on oppressing women. Are ALL women supposed to be bare-assed and barefoot behind a stove, waiting for her man to come home? That's just not right. Oh sure, women may act nicer than men sometimes, but, I think that's just how they were raised. I've known some very cruel women. Trust me, if they want to, women can be just about the most cunning and cruel opponents you will ever face." Jaryth rambled on about how females were evil, yet deserving all manner of respect and fair treatment. Meepo wondered if he even realized that succoring those who you consider your enemies is suicide. Being a human, probably not.

"Cruel and cunning they may be, but that does not make them warriors. An honorable man protects his woman. Places such as this are ill fitting them...and children as well. Why don't you run on home? You have no business being here, and you only end up getting yourself killed. You almost died yesterday. I wouldn't count on being so fortunate a second time." Lorn answered the whelp. Meepo hoped he'd be dull enough to take the fool's advice.

"Oh... Wait... When did Rhea become your woman? You don't own women, or anyone!" Jaryth balled his hands into tight fists and let his breath go in a long gust.
"Wait... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't agree with you, but that doesn't mean I can be mean to you." He walked over to Lorn and held out his hand. "Truce? I really want to try to be friends with you guys… Or… At least companions. I know I'm a kid and I'm pain... But I can be useful. I want to be at least, if you'll let me." More demented mood swings.

"Why here? And why us instead of someone in a nice safe town?” Meepo wanted to kill Lorn. Now the whelp was sure to inflict his life story on all in earshot.

"Probably the same reason as me, I want to help people. This is a good way to start."

"This isn't exactly my idea of fun. I'd much rather be in the city than in running around caves of this isolated region." Of course Lorn would want to be around more humans like himself. Together they could manage the level of stupidity a lone human could only dream of.

"But, you're doing it. Why?" Why couldn't Jaryth just have killed himself when he tried? Meepo couldn't stand failure.

"Why not? I'm a budding sorcerer, but I still can't climb on walls. He's an orphan; he's obviously got some talent. Let him come along." Rowland shrugged and laughed.

Jaryth smiled his madman's grin. "Thankee."

"To redeem myself in the eyes of Heironeous." Lorn laughed. "Guess I'm not doing to good a job at it given my current situation."

"I'm confused.... how do you know if you're redeemed or not?" Meepo thought it was probably when the last thought left your mind, given what he knew of human theology.

"When a priest of Heironeous restores my powers." Lorn gave Jaryth a look that made it clear Lorn thought the boy stupid for asking. Meepo did as well, but certainly not for the same reasons as Lorn.

"So why won't he do it now? I mean… you're a great guy! You're nice, and you seem to be just the kind of person my…father…loathes. Which means, you're a paladin. That's pretty much the opposite of him. Nice, kind-hearted, valiant, just, all that other good stuff." Meepo thought that he'd probably respect Jaryth's father, human or no, for being the opposite of Lorn. He'd have to be sort of like Burble that way.

"It is a matter I prefer not to speak of, and I doubt one of your...inexperienced years...would fully be able to understand." Meepo stifled a chuckle at the thought that Lorn understood anything, let alone more so than another might.

"Hey, I may be a kid, but I'm not stupid. I mean my dad's a lich. And I had a succubus for a nanny…at least, until she decided that her hunger was greater than her fear of my parents. I don't know what happened to her after that...." A lich? A dragonblooded undead? Maybe Meepo could sell his wayward son's soul back to him. "So, there's really not that much that'll shock me, or bother me. I won't think any less of you for anything. I mean, what did you do? Fail to save the fair maiden? Or, did you maybe fail your quest? Shirk your duty because of war? What?"

"Well, then let's just say I was not discreet enough with whom I shared my bed." Meepo shuddered. Lorn was already breeding. Rillith suddenly glanced Lorn's way.

"Oh... That's all? Why would Hieroneous cast you out for that?" Meepo thought it was probably because even a human god trembled at the thought of someone like Lorn spawning more like himself.

"I am not at liberty to discuss it." Lorn said stiffly. Meepo wondered if he was embarrassed that he'd bred.

"Did you fall in love?" That was Rillith. Meepo noted that her soft, raspy voice was clearly female.

Lorn nodded. "Unfortunately, that wasn't enough." The thought of young Lorns in the world above was far more than enough for Meepo.

"Why? I don't understand why Hieroneous would be that mean as to remove you of your paladin status because you had sex with some woman…" He was a human god. He was supposed to have reasonable standards?

"It wasn't just SOME woman! It was...a woman unsuitable for one of my position." Meepo wondered why a dung sweeper would want to have sex with Lorn.

Rillith was taking more interest now, "A commoner? An outcast? A lady of the evening?"

"No, it was the otherway actually." Lorn pointedly ignored Jaryth's suggestion that the lady in question was a high priestess of Iuz.

"Humph, I don't think Hieroneous would do that… He's too nice. Pholtus definitely would… but not Hieroneous."

Jaryth started and pulled out a softly glowing gem. "Oh hush, you, it's true... what? Oh… alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that Pholtus was a crotchety and horribly rigid stick in the mud who wouldn't know a good time if it slapped him in the face. But, he would cast out one of his paladins for falling in love with someone not to his liking. That is true." He put the gem back into his jerkin. "What's so bad about falling in love? Love's a good thing. At least that's what I'm told... I haven't been in love yet.."

Jaryth talking to his glowing gem worried Meepo greatly. Did it hold some of the will-sapping essence of the dead Thurston? Was it even now slowly eroding the willpower of the group? How long before all were turned into god- twisted madmen?

The two kept on yammering at each other, but Meepo managed to tune them out.

"Well folks, I for one want to get out of here and I think we do indeed need another day of healing, seeing I am the only healer, plus Lorn is real sick. I can help get us to the well and we can then see if the witch took the mule and horse or not, and if not, well to see if they are alive regardless. We can save oil for a new search, as we can move on to a new entrance, unless we want to chance rats again. Meepo, will you come, or will you want to stay. I know you hate the sun, but for once, I need to see it, plus I cannot see in the dark like you and Sal can." Meepo hated it, but he knew that Burble's asking ensured he was coming.

'”If you want to stay, I will come back tomorrow to look for you. " Burble moved to the door, but didn't leave just yet.

Meepo reluctantly gathered his few possessions. "Meepo go with Burble."

"Glad to have you then my friend," Burble said warmly. Meepo found himself taking absurd pride in that and once more wondered what the humans had infected him with. "So the rest of you staying or heading out?"

"Well, clearly you all know the group dynamic much better than I. I'm willing to go wherever my skills are best needed. Although I must admit that it seems a bit..." He hesitated "...'unheroic?' to go rushing back up into the light with every minor setback? Please don't take my words out of hand. I mean no disrespect." Colvin opined.

Colvin's gaze wandered to where Lorn lay prostrate. "But then there IS our sickened paladin to worry about. Hrmmmm…"

"I can't see any reason to check on the horse and mule. I'm sure they'll be OK." Rowland's certainty confirmed to Meepo that the horse and mule could only be dead.

"Not an unreasonable suggestion, Kid Sorceror. Were it not for Sir Lorn's illness, I'd vote to press on. But being as it's not my decision to make..." Colvin offered. Meepo once again considered how stupid Rowland's chosen appellation sounded.

Tired of the arguing and detailing of Lorn's personal life, Burble and Meepo crept out of the room while none were looking. Through the corridor, courtyard, and up the stairs they went. Meepo endured the blazing of the sun for only moments before he discovered, along with Burble, what had become of Rhea.

Lashed upside down to one of the stone pillars by the ravine was Rhea. Her arms were bound wickedly back so tightly was clear her shoulders were broken. Blood had streamed down the pillar and dried in the dirt about. Her torso had been split open and her ribcage torn asunder to leave her entrails, fly-ridden ropes and balls of black, streaming down over her face. Her mouth had been twisted into a weird rictus grin so that she smiled out any climbing up the rope from below, including Burble and Meepo. Deep furrows had been cut in both her cheeks and her eyes were gouged out and set inside her open, grinning mouth.

Rhea's gear was scattered wildly about, all torn, broken, and defiled. Only her gold remained, taken from wherever she kept it and packed into her torso amid her fallen-out innards. Meepo nearly fell over when his eyes fell upon the dead woman. He wanted to vomit.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*XV-Rising Blood, Gold, and Gorge*

Wherein our even our hero is sickened.

Rhea's body hung in a cloud of buzzing flies. Her innards were covered with a pebbled, throbbing mass. Meepo felt his own innards twist and lurch about as the stench of dead human assaulted his nose. It reeked even worse than dead kobold, which he would have supposed was fitting were he feeling at all well. Anything a kobold did a human could do mind-bogglingly worse.

Yet Burble stood there, regarding the body calmly. He was saying something about how Rhea deserved it and he wasn't at all sorry it had happened and so on. He seemed mostly oblivious to Meepo's plight. He strode up to the corpse and boldly plunged his hands in among the gore and flies and blood. Methodically, the halfling drew out all of the gold he could find. Meepo nearly fainted when he saw Burble rooting around in Rhea's torso for yet more coin.

When the burned halfling was satisfied he pulled out his waterskin and doused all the coin thoroughly. It was heady with the stench of blood and death, but Meepo was getting some control of himself now. As long as he didn't look directly at Rhea's body, he could control his stomach and keep himself from enduring a review of his morning rations.

Burble offered Meepo a share of the gold then and there, asking as well if he'd like the halfling to hold on to it. Meepo didn't care. He said something he forgot a second later as he tried to keep his stomach under control once more against thoughts of the sticky, only barely cleaned coins that moments before were amid the gore and masses of flies in Rhea's torso.

Then, mercifully, Burble agreed that it was time to go back down into the ravine. Meepo thought he might have said something about his mule being gone without a trace and no tracks or anything to point to Rhea's killer, but at every mention of Rhea Meepo fought to keep his rations where they belonged.

The cool, sunless darkness was even more welcome than usual for Meepo. Each step was another away from Rhea's corpse and the grisly spectacle it presented. Now that its smell didn't assail him constantly, he could admit that were he inclined to terrify someone a display like that would do the trick. That thought didn't sit well with him. Had Thurston's sun god sent some kind of killer after them?

Rhea hadn't done any harm to Thurston, but this was a human god Meepo was considering. If it had the wit to send an assassin in revenge it wasn't all-too likely to send the assassin after the correct parties. Even if it did, how could the servant of a human god be expected to get a job done properly? Their whole perverse religion centered around stupidity.

Kobold and halfling found themselves back where the rest of the humans had taken refuge almost before Meepo had shaken himself from his thoughts of the skill with which Rhea must have been cut open and arranged. If he could find someone that skilled for Yusdrayl…and Lorn…and the Whelp…perhaps he could track down Worthless Dung Druid as well.

Burble knocked quietly on the door the humans hid behind and then stepped in. "Well it was not a wasted trip all. The mule and Thurston's horse, as well as the saddles, are gone. I could find no sign of who or what took them, but they are good and gone."

"Oh another thing," Burble added nonchalantly. "Rhea's dead. Tortured, mutilated and gouged. Tied up at the top of the well the oil is all destroyed, as was the rest of the gear. For some strange reason, they did not take her money, Just stuffed it in her body. " He drew a flask from his belt. "We found it. I already got my share and Meepo has his. Split it up as you will." Meepo didn't remember taking a share in his fits of nausea, but he did notice an extra bulk in his backpack. He wouldn't object to having the coin. It was just payment for all the indignities he had suffered with these humans. "So are we resting another day or do we press on?" Burble concluded.

Colvin blinked, "Oh my..."Colvin didn't know the half of it. He was a human though, so this was nothing new.

"Where? How far? How?" Rillith asked quietly. Meepo wondered why she took such an interest in a recently dead corpse. She and Rhea couldn't have known each other.

Meepo shook his head warily. "Meepo not like. This not make nice Meepo. Not not make nice like Worthless Druid not make nice Meepo. Not make nice Meepo like Kurtulmak's Blood Scream not make nice Meepo." The kobold shivered at the thought of the Blood Scream. "Meepo not want meet what not make nice Rhea." Unless of course it could be persuaded to demonstrate its talents on certain of the humans he was saddled with.

Burble laid a comforting hand on Meepo's shoulder and the kobold experienced that cloying feeling of warmth again, "Meepo, you're right, not even Rhea deserves that kind of death. I will try to see that nothing harms you in any way in that manner, and if we can, we will try to make sure we kill the vermin that did this." In the back of his mind, Meepo worried that he was so reassured by this. He was entirely too uncritical of Burble and he couldn't seem to stop.

Lorn shook his head and made a quick prayer to his god. Meepo didn't understand this human fascination with god- kissing. Proper gods ensured worship through fear and the visiting of unspeakable tortures on their foes. Talking to them when you didn't have something for them to devour, or at very least take and amuse themselves with for a time, amounted to begging to be the next victim of divine wrath. But Lorn's god was human. Meepo couldn't reasonably expect it to behave rationally.

Bryant sighed, "Doesn't sound like something the rats are capable of." Meepo hoped not. There were too many rats around with them just as they were. Having clever butchers and assassins amongst them wasn't a pleasant thought at all.

"This was no rat. Too deliberate and focused. Plus, it happened at the top of the well, so I doubt any rats could have gotten up there. Plus they would have killed the mounts as well." Meepo conceded that Burble was probably right about that. He didn't want to think too hard about what may have taken the horses and left without a trace.

"Burble not kill Rhea." Any chance for Meepo to establish himself in agreement with a human was a bit more of a shield against what passed for hostile thoughts in their minds.

Lorn gave Burble a long, hard look. "And how can we sure that the vermin is not you? You did swear you would kill her if you ever caught up with her again." The idiot warrior was right for once. No good could come of this.

The mad whelp chimed in, "He did the same to Thurston, and he's dead too. Murdered in our bedroom while I slept." Meepo could be grateful for the pleasant memories the boy stirred later. Right now he'd rather that Thurston's death be forgotten by the humans so Rhea's would look like more of an isolated incident. Colvin tensed.

"And your proof of this is so lacking it's silly to bring this up yet again." Bryant responded. That was a surprise to Meepo. The silent one could be a valuable ally.

"Oh he did threaten Thruston. and Thurston is dead. You can take that one to the gods." Jaryth shrugged. "But, I'm making no accusation, simply stating facts. Thurston's perfectly happy where he is at the moment, so I don't see any need to go out and find his killer. I'm sure that his murder is very pleased with his deed. Me, I have what I wanted, and so does Thurston. So, everyone is happy and there's really no point in going on about it." Meepo wondered why Jaryth did go on about it if there was nothing to go on about. Being human, the whelp probably didn't even recognize the contradiction.

"Certainly hope this is this last we have to hear about it then." Bryant said flatly. Meepo had to stifle a laugh.

"I wonder. How up to snuff I am? I mean I feel like crap. But maybe I can do something. That is if we decide to head for the outside." Jaryth summoned his ghostly spider and climbed a ways up the wall. He reached the ceiling and looked down. "Heehee. You all look really funny from up here."

Meepo decided to take a rish, all the while paying mind to Burble's defense of himself. He drew one of Thurston's potions out of his backpack. "Boy hurt. Meepo help boy. Meepo stole from Yusdrayl. Dragon water makes nice wounds. Boy drink, it make nice." Jaryth was stupid enough to believe that, and none could gainsay Meepo's word. They knew Yusdrayl had things of magic. He held the flask up where the whelp could reach.

Jaryth walked down and took the flask. "Thanks, Meepo. Heh, Meepo the Rat Killer. Naw that's too dumb. How does Meepo Goblin Slayer sound?" The Whelp was a human, all right. He was stupid enough to trust Meepo moments after accusing Meepo's friend of murder.

"Meepo like." The kobold smiled like an idiot as Jaryth's remaining burns melted away. Now the Whelp owed him.

"Thanks Meepo.. I feel much better now." He had damn well better. Meepo wasted a potion he stole with his own hands from the Whelp's sun-crazed god-kissing kobold-killing holy warrior and surrogate father figure on him.

Meepo moved in further as Jaryth looked into the flask. "Jaryth better now. Meepo make nice Jaryth...Jaryth make nice Meepo? Meepo and Jaryth not make nice before. Meepo want make nice now."

"I did not kill Rhea. I never have killed or tried to kill you, Jaryth. You made it clear you wish nothing from me, not healing, nor aid. Your decisions. " Burble looked to the others, trying to see where they stood. Jaryth lost interest in the conversation and pulled out his glowing sapphire to stare it. Maybe Meepo would grind it up and use it to flavor Rowland's blood.

Burble answered Lorn, "I may have killed her if I found her but I did not. I have nothing to hide in this manner. But if you doubt me, then piss off Lorn. Go look for yourself. You will see that her damned corpse has been dead at least for many hours and that my tracks just now seemed to be the only ones around. You want to consider me vermin, well then to the hells with you. Find your own healer and I will look for my own powers to heal myself. I have helped you quite a bit here and you have seemed ways to insult me. I do not ask you to like me, but treat me civilly if you wish me around. I gave what I found on here in full faith, and I have treated you as the same. Now what of your own words follower of Heironeous? Will you take up the sword against me then?" Burble took a careful step back. He stepped over and offered Sal healing, which the dwarf took.

"Have you no respect for the dead? I think you are more upset that you didn't get to do the dead yourself, then with what happened to Rhea. How dare you speak to her in such a manner...especially after such a great tragedy has befallen that poor, tormented soul." Lorn was aghast. He had this sort of lack wit shocked expression on his face Meepo found very fitting.

"Whoa!! Calm down now. No need for all of this! We're all in this together and it makes no sense for us to tear ourselves apart from within! Nobody is taking swords up against ANYONE!" Colvin bellowed. Meepo hoped the rats and goblins he drew killed him slowly.

"Oh, will everyone just shut up! Bickering will get us nowhere!" Jaryth yelled, exasperated. "Burlbe, no one thinks you're scum, we just don't trust you. You've given us very little cause to trust you. You heal us and then hold it over our heads like it's some grand trophy or charity that you've given us and demand us to repay you threefold for it." The boy leaned back obviously exhausted by all this talking, but still presses on. Meepo wished he'd just drop if this were so fatiguing to him. "Frankly, we know nothing of you, nor of anyone else, really. I've told you all about myself. What little there is to tell, after all, I'm only 10. But, you--and everyone else, for that matter-- have revealed nothing about their pasts. How can we trust each other if we don't know each other? No matter how awful your past is, it has to be brought out. Maybe then, we'll understand why Burble is callous and heartless, why Rowland is so chipper and happy, and even, why Embril was so cold and standoffish."

Meepo wanted to understand why the Whelp couldn't shut up. He wasted a potion for this?

"You ask for trust when you attack me fro what I do and believe in? You say that I hold my healing over your head Jaryth? Tell me, what have I ever asked you to do for the healing, except to end the insults and accusations. You were the one that have time and again basically called me scum and threatened me. I have saved your damn life twice, and put up quite a lot from you. Lorn I healed a lot as well, when Embrill fell on him.I was blessed with my powers of the Laughing one, but you have given me nothing to laugh about."

"As for my past, I was straight with the group. I am a thief and now a priest, and not ashamed of it. Look at my face and hair. That I learned from my duties. I am a city rat, and not ashamed of it. Damn, I even have my God for what he is. You told us all about who and what you are, but you have still had your tantrums when things did not go your way. "

"I come from Dyvers, far to the west, Had a tough childhood, but who has not, I learned to rely on myself first, and no others and you have panned out why that should be. I joined with this band in good faith, and have not hidden how I feel on a situation. What more do you want to know, eh? " " Now I have had enough. If you do not want to trust me, so be it Jaryth, I am tired of all that is happening. " Burble counterattacked, as though reasoning would work with the Idiot and the Whelp.

"Forget it. So, how are we going to get out of this place?" Jaryth asked, his mind once again losing its grip on a thought in midstream. Meepo wondered if he could time that and use it against the whelp.

Rowland saw a dire need to start in on his autobiography now. Meepo was thrilled. Why did dragonblooded humans have to talk? It was rude of a future drink to babble on so. "There isn't much to tell. I was a son to a woodsman and his faithful wife. One morning, about six years back, I befriended Dafydd here. The forest sorcerer learned of our unusual friendship and informed my parents that I was naturally attuned to the source of mystical power. I became Gwion's apprentice. I was a good learner and had a kind, knowledgeable master. And when I wasn't learning, I hunted, played, and visited with my friends. Llacheu was my best friend--I always had fun with him. When I learned all that Master Gwion could teach me, I said good-bye to my master, my family, and my friends and left to seek adventure and find my destiny."

"Llacheu was supposed to come with me, but he couldn't leave his ailing mother and his six younger sisters by themselves." Rowland paused, then added, "That's the biggest tragedy in my life, until I met all you guys. I miss Llacheu LOTS. But my mother and father, my brother and sister, and my master still live. My friends are healthy. I suppose I'm 'happy and chipper' because I've had a pretty good life, and I'm excited to be on an adventure. I guess. Don't know. That's just the way I've always been." He paused again, then added quietly, looking downcast, "Not that I don't mourn Rhea or Syl."

It was over? Praise Kurtulmak! The last thing Meepo wanted was to hear the finer points of Rowland's life.

Sal stepped in, in defense of Burble. "I'll tell you why we know it wasn't Burble that killed Rhea, because the oil and supplies were gone and he's offered to split up the cash. If Burble had killed her, he would have done it with much less... activity and eagerness. And no offense meant to my friend her, but I'm betting that Burble here would have a few marks on him as well. She was a very capable woman." Meepo thought Rhea exceptionally capable of running into the arms of her own killer, but he chose not to share that thought.

The dwarf turned then to Lorn, "While I've heard of your point of view, I can't agree with it. If the person can hold their own and contribute to the group, I'm willing to say that they belong. I don't care if they're male, female, Kobold or hidden in black robes. If they help more than they hinder the group, I say let's feed'em and move on." Did this mean Sal was in favor of killing Lorn and leaving him to the vultures? The Whelp too? Meepo could only dream.

Sal dug into one of his pockets and fished out some gold. He put a part of it back where he found it and tossed the rest to Bryant. "Either take some and pass it around or convince the others that you will carry theirs. With Rhea leaving, I've lost some confidence in having one person carry most of the gold. I'm going to attempt to carry a share on my body from here on out. I hope nobody has a problem with that?"

Excellent. The dwarf could build solidarity by uniting the group in its common greed. If Meepo participated, it would be one more way to worm himself into their minds as a member of the group and not an expendable hanger-on. Likewise, this could be a path to more unity of vision and general cohesiveness. Meepo could tolerate Lorn and Jaryth so long as they learned their places and obeyed orders. There would be orders to be given, of course. Meepo knew two candidates perfectly suited to command.

Sal was showing signs of irritation when he turned back to Burble. "As for leaving again, but perhaps you'd like to attend the people you'd put yourself in charge of getting back on their feet. I don't have a problem moving on, but some of those that are hurt may prefer to stay another day." Good. The dwarf subordinated his personal irritation at Burble for the interests of the group. Meepo could use this. If Burble did as asked, it would paint the halfling in a more positive light and would enhance the group's dependence on him.

Jaryth shrugged and then dropped to his haunches. "I'm for staying here another day. we can shovel the excrement out somewhere. Or bury it or something. I heard that in the desert people burn excrement instead of wood.... maybe we could do that here?" Jaryth's fascination with his leavings didn't surprise Meepo in the least.

Jaryth winced as he changed position. "Currently, I'm in no condition to do anything. I could fight, but I'd be dying not too long into the fight. I say that we've bitten far too much off than we can chew, and none of us are much good in these confined conditions. So, until the wounded are healed to at least fighting condition if not perfect health, and we have some idea of how we're going to deal with the marching and fighting order, I recommend that we sit tight." Nevermind that Meepo gave him one of his hard-earned potions to make him ready to fight.

That could be worrisome. The Whelp was speaking sensibly for once. But Meepo remembered that human whelps where still impressionable at his age. Maybe the lunatic saw something he wanted in Sal's speech. That could open him to being molded into a suitable servant. Meepo enjoyed the thought of Jaryth, years in the future, fawning over him and serving his every whim. There could be potential here.

"I am ready to fight," Lorn said lamely. Meepo hoped he would fight, and get only so far as to suffer an entertaining death. If it could be somehow arranged so he would fall on Embrill again, all the better.

"I'm sure you can. But, won't you be better able to serve Hieroneous and prove your devotion to him if you are fully rested?" Jaryth asked. Meepo was really regretting that potion. He wondered if he could cut open Jaryth's stomach and get it back. Having to wait through years of subtle influence campaigning with the Whelp was losing appeal very fast.

Burble ignored Jaryth, but kept his eye on Lorn as he replied to Sal. "I may have left, but you all were talking way too much and I was not about to listen to more of Jaryth and Lorn going at it on who did what with whom in the past. I also felt that Meepo and I could sneak a lot more then if we had a whole group of us. If you folks had come when I first asked, you would have seen all that I mentioned. If you doubt me, go above and look for yourself. I am tired of the insinuations and insults. Any that doubt me can damn well bugger off."

"Thanks Sal for that vote of confidence, guarded as it was and I am not insulted by your lack of faith in my skills. I will say that I think we should rest, just remember that we only have supplies in light for another day or maybe two if we ration the oil. Food we have for maybe 3 or 4 days."

"To take care of those hurt, well I said before I would. If Lorn wants to think so less of me though, well he can rest and heal himself or find some other priest if he wishes. Jaryth, if he can hold his tongue, I will help, as well as yourself Sal, myself, Meepo, Rowland and Bryant. Colvin and Rillith have yet to say for sure if they are staying with the group and want to throw their hat in the ring, and if so, I would ask what their skills and abilities are? We know nothing about them other then they were sent by Semmon. Rillith has hid herself through and through, and Colvin has smiled and used fancy words. You all know me, and what I am. And I have been faithful in helping the group when asked. if you do not care for that, then I will leave, with Meepo if he will come, alone if not."

"I agree with everyone keeping their own money, as I already took my share. I said I would not steal from the group and I have not. Rhea did."

"I'm sorry she didn't bother to throw down everything that belonged o you while she was fleeing for her life. For all you know, she might have been returning when she was killed." Lorn snapped back.

"Oh to hells with this! We're getting nowhere. fine. We all hold our own money. Fine. We'll all just say what we can do and leave it at that. Fine. We'll all just sit around not knowing who's going to stab whom in the back next." Jaryth barked out. Meepo thought that exactly that arrangement had worked out as well as might be expected of humans for quite some time now.

"Until I tell you otherwise, you only touch and enspell me when I ask it, not before and not later. If you do, friend Burble, I will be most upset. You don't want that. Ever. I don't trust you, and, until you give me reason to, I won't. I'll treat you as I would any other stranger." Meepo hoped Jaryth bled his life out on a cold dungeon floor with Burble standing right over him reminding him of that. He wasted a good potion on the Whelp.

The arguments petered out and Rhea's gold was divided. Thus the others met the acquaintance of the scent of blood and rotting gore. Jaryth took a single whiff and returned his gold to the unclaimed pile. Meepo hid a snicker.

Lorn's first encounter with the stench sent him careening out the door and to the keg from which the water beast had emerged. He noisily vomited into it for several moments. Maybe fishing the gold from Rhea's torso had a positive side after all.

Rowland gagged, but pocketed the money regardless. It must have been the dragonblood, granding him fortitude.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*XVI-The Cold Door*

Wherein our hero revisits his past adventures.

With the gold as divided as the humans could stomach, the rest of the day passed uneventfully. There was much distrustful staring and Meepo ran through six or seven different plots in his mind, most involving creative and more importantly slow and painful ways for Jaryth and Lorn to die. Aside from nearly dying thanks to something the humans had done, it was a normal day for Meepo.

The humans were short on oil for their lanterns now that Rhea had died with most of their stores, so they'd decided to save what they could. That meant that they only had light when they absolutely must have it. Meepo didn't remember or care who thought up the rationing. He certainly didn't need some miniature sun burning in his face to see things. Watching the humans blundering about in the dark was an added bonus for him. Three times Lorn almost sat on Rillith.

When morning came again, Lorn's incessant prattle started up. "I say we have rested long enough. The mission has taken far longer than it should have. Two of our numbers have been brutalized by the fiends behind this, and we know not of Embrill's fate. I for one shall not let their death's go unadvenged. Let's find the fiends behind all this and complete our mission."

Meepo was quite content with not knowing Embrill's fate, unless it turned out to be slow and painful. Perhaps if Lorn, Jaryth, and Embrill could all share a slow and painful death Meepo might feel obliged to take notice. That would be wonderfully entertaining, he was sure. But alas, the kobold knew from experience that the humans would never be so accommodating to the needs of a mere kobold.

"Which of the fiends you talking about? Goblins? Belak? The kobolds? The rats? Or even the ones, whoever they were, that killed Rhea?" Burble asked. Meepo had almost forgotten that Yusdrayl told the humans about the Outcast who lived below.

Thinking back to past adventures, Meepo wondered what the goblins must have thought when they found their guardchamber's floor slick with blood and corpses of their fellows. Some of Rowland's precious dragonblood had fallen there too, but the fool was sure to produce more so long as he was kept alive.

"I doubt the kobolds are behind our troubles, since we are aiding them. The rats are not intelligent enough to be behind everything. The goblins are my best guess at the moment, but I fear what we have seen hints at a far greater power behind all this." Lorn doubted the kobolds were behind any of the group's troubles because the group was aiding them. That was the most hilarious thing Meepo had heard in weeks. It took all his resolve to keep from bursting into laughter. If Lorn knew half of what went through a proper kobold's mind he wouldn't rest until they were all slain.

Burble nodded. "And that is probably this Belak that Yusdrayl told us about. Look, shall we go off then, to either the other door in the entry room or the cold door? I tire of waiting here in this room.” So did Meepo. The room reeked of the humans' leavings.

After some discussion, but surprisingly less than normal, the humans agreed to first search beyond a door they hadn't yet opened at the base of a ruined tower. Meepo knew what they would find, but he hoped that by some twist of fate the impregnable dragon-carved door that he and a few other kobolds had discovered back when he was still keeper of dragons would come to life and eat Lorn. Maybe Jaryth too. A whelp that size would make a suitable dessert.

Reaching the wooden door that the humans had not yet ventured beyond, Jaryth finally cursed Meepo's ears with another dose of his prattle. "Should I try to pick that, or do you want to, Burble?" The whelp was surprisingly meek at the moment. He must be planning something.

Burble set at the door himself. "I got it lad. Just sit tight and hold your britches." The halfling poked and prodded for nearly half an hour before finally deeming the door safe to pass. Meepo could have told him it was safe right off, but the stench of human waste had soured his mood for the day and he was happy to watch Jaryth and Lorn wait impatiently.

Once he was done, Burble slowly opened the door and peered inside. Everything was as Meepo remembered it. The long, over-wide hallway still had the same crumbling walls and the far end was still fully demolished and looked out into the ravine beyond. Meepo wondered how often rats wandered by.

The west wall was, as before, in better shape and sported a stone door with a rearing dragon carved on it in relief. Meepo rather liked the carving and could imagine it darting out of the door to bite Lorn's head off quite easily. Of course, the loss of a head probably wouldn't inconvenience Lorn any more than losing the sun would Meepo.

Meepo was surprised to notice a keyhole in the dragon's open mouth he hadn't spotted before. He must have missed it when Ditno tripped on a rock and Meepo and Jfik went and poked him with their spears. A small smile split the kobold's snout. That was a fun time. Ditno bled for hours.

Rillith regarded the door and spoke her mind, "Hmmm....." Meepo was glad she added that. Such priceless insight.

Burble stalked down the hallway, stepping carefully across the floor and checking every step for hidden wires, trick stones, and whatever else he looked for when he pulled out his tools and started puttering around. One of these days Meepo would have to suggest that they just send Lorn into any unexplored area. If there were any traps, he was sure to find them. He found nothing on the floor and no dangers around the dragon-carved door either. Meepo was relieved. His friend was doing what was properly the job of a large, dumb human who no one would miss if he died. Alternatively, Meepo mused while he looked at Jaryth, a small, mad human who no one would miss if he died was an option.

Colvin, who had been tensed in an absurd post with his bow half-drawn suddenly relaxed, "WHEW!" he said as he wiped sweat from his brow. Meepo added him to the list of potential trap bait.

Burble set at the keyhole in the stone door, but he couldn't budge it. Meepo and his kobolds hadn't gotten it to open either. For once, though, the humans had stood in one place out in the open for near to an hour and nothing had attacked them yet. It was a pleasant change from their usual habit of attracting rats like a corpse attracted flies. Thinking of corpses Meepo remembered Rhea and his innards lurched a bit. He quickly soothed himself, though. Thoughts of roasting wolf setting his mouth to watering.

"Damn lock is too much for my abilities, We will indeed need the key that Yusdrayl had on her alter. Shall we head to the cold door all?" Yusdrayl's key. Meepo hadn't considered it before. Now he wished he'd thought of it when he still had Calcryx. Whatever this door was protecting must be important if it was secured so well Burble couldn't open it. It would have been a valuable weapon against the chieftain. It could still be a valuable weapon, but he'd have to keep it from the humans to ensure its proper use. There was slim chance of that.

"Should I try? I have some skill at this. Nothing like Burble, I'm not a full thief but I learned some skills." Jaryth asked in his typical, simpering tone. Of course Jaryth was nothing like Burble. Burble was a loyal, upstanding halfling that Meepo was proud to call friend. He was the sort that would sneak away from camp in the dark of the night to murder human holy men in their sleep and knock children senseless to keep them from waking and catching him in the act. Jaryth was the type who seized the legs of god-kissers and whined for their pleasure.

Lorn snorted, "The master thief shows his prowess once again."

Colvin groaned, "Oh gods, not again." Rillith winced. Meepo had his first nearly overwhelming urge to kill Lorn of the day. Could he have no peace? First goblins, then Embrill, now Lorn. It was getting so a kobold couldn't plot the deaths of those around him for his own selfish gain anymore.

"Think you can do better kiddo, go for it." Burble snorted back at Lorn as he turned away from the door. He must have meant to start for that cold door. Meepo had a bad feeling about that door. It had nearly killed Burble once and the halfling was willing to give it another chance. It looked to Meepo like a job more suited to Lorn or Jaryth than his scarred friend.

Rowland sighed and turned to Lorn. He spoke in a voice he clearly thought no one else could hear, "Please don't make trouble we don't need." Meepo wondered if Rowland would be asking fish not to swim and gnomes not to murder kobolds in their sleep next. Rillith was looking curiously at Lorn and Meepo wondered again what she was hiding under that hood.

"Ok, that's it! Lorn, when we get out of this, I'm going to introduce you to dramdath. It's a very nice plant. Makes all sorts of problems go away. I like to call it the "happy-feel-good plant. But, then again, I'm 10, so I can give things stupid names like that." Jaryth at first barked and then his tone drifted to a gratingly whimsical and thoughtless rambling. Meepo had noticed that despite Jaryth's declarations, stupidity was not reserved for children when it came to humans.

Then Jaryth shifted his attention again, back to the door. "Well, lemme take a looksee, maybe I can get it. Who knows? Chaos can work wonders. Can I use your tools? I kinda don't have mine. They're back at the guild..." Jaryth asked Burble.

"If you break them, I warn you, I will break your hands." Meepo looked forward to Jaryth breaking Burble's tools. Maybe he could help with the hand breaking. It had been too long since he was able to torture someone who deserved it as much as Jaryth.

"You have more than enough to replace them. And if you don't want to replace them with your lawful earnings, I'll buy ya a new set soon as I can. Ok?" Meepo wondered if human fingerbones could be worked into suitable thieving tools. It was a possibility worth exploring. The Whelp wanted to help, after all.

"No I do not think so. Kid I will just say this one more time. Drop the accusations. As for the tools, they were a gift of my Mother before she was killed. Hurt them at your peril." Burble hissed.

"On second thought. No, just give them back. I will be the only one that will use them I believe." Burble reconsidered a moment later. Meepo was disappointed that he wouldn't get to help break Jaryth's hands.

Jaryth had already turned to the door and ignored Burble. "No I said. I want them back and I do not want to debate the point. Hand them over Jaryth. Now." Maybe breaking hands wasn't out of the question after all.

"What accusations? I was joking. Honest! I'm sorry, I was trying to make a joke and lighten the mood a little. Sorry." He still wasn't really paying attention.

"Fine. Here you go." Jaryth handed the tools back roughly and stalked away. Meepo sighed. He'd been looking forward to feeling tiny bones snapping in his hands to the music of Jaryth's pained cries.

"Lets head out." Burble said, dismissing Jaryth. The group fell sullenly in behind the halfling and headed towards the cold door. Burble swept the floors and walls for traps as he went, poking and peering about as usual.

Within minutes, the group reached a familiar room. Meepo knew it best from his time waiting for death after Calcryx was taken. His rags still laid on the floor where he'd left them and he noticed that the jade dragon statuettes were gone from the altar. Had it been only five days since Worthless Druid prodded him out of those same rags?

Other things had changed as well. There were small pools of dried blood on the floor, along with shattered crossbow bolts and broken javelins. Goblins must have attacked again. Meepo drew his sword and hissed, "Goblins. Goblins do this."

"Oh my..." Colvin gasped on seeing the blood. He drew his bow and nocked an arrow. Sal drew his sword, once Thurston's, and peered about.

"For their deeds my friend we shall exact revenge. We shall pay them back a hundred fold, and their bodies will be left so that only the rats will enjoy them. Any idea how long ago this happened?" Meepo had that sickening warm feeling inside again after Burble's words.

"Meepo not know. Blood dry." He steeled himself and walked over to one of the room's many doors. He pounded twice on it. A moment later a voice called out in Draconic.

“Who is it? What do you want?” It was Ditno. Just the kobold Meepo didn't want. Ditno had nursed a grudge against Meepo ever since Meepo's spear accidentally nicked Ditno's groin several weeks ago when the two of them were exploring the room with the dragon-carved door. Meepo and the other kobolds with him at the time had great fun pummeling and stabbing Ditno in all manner of painful but non-lethal places. Ditno's disagreement was entirely unreasonable, almost human.

“It's Meepo. When did the goblins attack out here?” Might as well be direct about it.

“Meepo? Aren't you dead yet? Nevermind, I'll make sure you are.” Meepo heard the bolt on the door slide free and the door itself opened a bit.

“I came back with humans, big humans. There's no way to kill me unless you kill them too. You know. You were there when Yusdrayl sent me off with them.”

“Need humans to protect you now, Meepo? This is what has become of the Mighty Dragon Keeper? From lying in rags to consorting with humans. I think I'd kill myself rather than suffer the shame.” Ditno said pompously.

“At least I don't take my pleasure with gnome whores.” Meepo quickly changed his phrasing from full, proper Draconic to the kobold vulgate to confuse Rowland in case the fool was listening. He dropped into eerily even tones and looked intensely into Ditno's eyes. “We have brain worms in us, Ditno. We camped by a nest and they came for us while we slept. They prefer goblins, but if you don't tell me how long ago the goblins were here soon, they'll settle for you.”

Brain worms took over the minds of kobolds or anything else they could get their hands on. Meepo knew that when Ditno was a hatchling, his parents were infected with the worms in the Underdark and had spread the things to a quarter of the tribe before they were driven out. Ditno was only let live because the kobolds knew the worms didn't take a hatchling until it was at least three years old, but he'd been suspect all his life because of it. Until Meepo's disgrace, he'd been the favorite victim of the whole tribe. No one stood lower.

His bluff had the desired effect. Ditno recoiled and quickly told him that the goblins had attacked four sleeps ago. Meepo let him go, knowing if Ditno was fool enough to tell Yusdrayl his threat she'd kill him in an instant, assuming he was infected and trying to sneak into the tribe's good graces.

Meepo told the humans how long ago the attack was and Burble asked, ”Then we shall have to prepare carefully and keep an eye out for the goblins. Have they come back or been seen since then Meepo?" Meepo told him they hadn't.

Burble resolved to be on his guard and advised the others to do the same. It was just like humans that they had to be told. With that he opened up the next door along the group's route and they left kobold territory for the neglected part of the ruins that formed the back way into the goblin-held areas.

A few minutes more of careful advance and the group had returned once more to the familiar dragon-shaped fountain and cold-radiating door carved with skeletal dragons. Burble drew near to it and Meepo trailed a few feet behind. The burned halfling proffered a smiling mask of red silk and invoked his god, "Most Holy Olidammarra, guide me in this gamble that I take, I roll the dice to open the way. I ask you to channel the goodness of a good hand and let this roll the dice to come up the true score."

Meepo reasoned that gambling gods made more sense than sun gods. At least they spread their rewards randomly instead of deliberately to those most stupid who called on them. He shot a glance at Lorn. The armored fool was drawing his sword and readying himself, as were the others while Burble prayed.

As Burble finished his prayer the skeleton-carved door suddenly burst into blue light; silent and slowly pulsing. The door swung quietly open revealing a chamber beyond. Ten sarcophagi lined the walls, five to either side marching in a stone row to a small shrine of black stone. The shrine had a lone candle tipped with a dancing green flame upon it, as well as a small rolled scroll. Each sarcophagus was carved with the likeness of a thin figure with pointed ears and angled features, an elf.

Colvin goggled at the chamber and said, "Oh my!" His bow dipped a bit before he realized he'd let his guard down.

Rowland cleared his throat quietly, "I don't suppose anyone can determine if this tomb is a place of good or evil..." Typical. A human sees an elven burial ground and immediately asks if it's good or evil. As though it made any difference. Gnomes, elves, dwarves, and humans were all called 'good' but caused no end of trouble for decent kobolds. Likewise evil orcs, goblins, and others did just the same. This whole good business must be something their gods thought up.

"I have no talents in that manner Rowland, but so far there has been NOTHING good here in the rift." Burble replied. Meepo considered that a compliment. What humans called good seemed to have a habit of being stupid as well. Evil had at least the potential for intelligence.

"Perhaps..." Rillith murmured.

"This is not a good place to be." Jaryth observed.

Burble put away his mask and drew his bow. "I would say we should be very wary here folks. This set up just begs for some kind of undead to come up and I will ask that you keep your weapons handy. I do not have any more ability to challenge the dearth of life, and we would have to use our weapons to fight them. Let me try something here, I would rather not try to go in to check that shrine at this time myself, but rather then just ignore this place, let me see if I can rope that candle" Meepo's friend was pulling out his rope now.

That was wise enough. Meepo hoped the humans would be wise enough to listen to Burble. If they could only do that, there might be hope for them.

"The undead eh? Never faced them before." Colvin smiled at the thought. Meepo hoped that the undead killed him first.

"C'mon! What could be so bad? Let's either explore this place the right way, or if you'd rather not..." Colvin frowned. "...let's just leave it be totally. The candle will most likely still be here later. I mean it IS lit, which means someone's been here recently, yes?" He looked around the floor for tracks and found none.

"I am a paranoid thief Colvin and I am sure that something menacing lurks here. I will be happy if you want to go in and touch the graves or the grab the candle. Me I would rather wait and see. Do what you will archer, and I will do what I think is right. Undead I have not faced, but rats, goblins and woodies have been enough to show me that battle is not something to take lightly." More of Burble's wisdom that the humans would ignore, it was only a candle he wanted.

"Ok! I'll go in then, if someone wants to cover me. Anyone else feel like coming along?" Colvin grinned like an idiot.

"Me..." Rillith answered. She took a few steps forward and looked into the room closely.

"There, I now have a second. Any other takers?" Colvin grinned.

"Let's not touch that candle ok?" Jaryth whined. Meepo wanted it just to frustrate the whelp.

"Ok archer, go for it. Me, I will stay here until you have seen for yourself if it is clear or not. You're a lot more insane or innocent to expect not to get hurt, but as you will." Burble said. Meepo opted for considering Colvin stupid like all humans.

"Neither, just brave." Colvin winked.

"And I never expected not to get hurt. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh? Besides, I've never heard of any musty old skeleton faster than my trusty bow here." He patted his bow.

"I've ventured many times already. I'm better covering you with my fingers." Rowland said as he poised his hands to work a spell.

"Good point Rowland. How can I fail with the great Kid Sorceror watching my back?" Colvin smiled again. Meepo hoped he lost some teeth at the very least to whatever he next faced.

"So no more takers then? Fine. C'mon Rillith, let's show this lot how a true dungeon-diver does it." Colvin motioned to the short, robed figure to start in. He and she took careful steps into the chamber, stopping after each footfall to look about before proceeding.

The two advanced all the way to the shrine without incident. "Umm, seems like it is ok for now. Want to search the alter there and that candle. Maybe even open up some of those caskets?" Burble suggested.

"See? Nothing to it!" Colvin scoffed and bent over to look at the candle. "Two steps ahead of you, my halfling holy- man." He called to Burble.

"As for the sarcophagi, I think with my shoulder still healing and all that someone with bigger biceps might be better at it. After all, one of those lids probably weighs more than I do!"

"Sal, why don't you do the honors? I will cover you." Lorn suggested.

"Ooooooh!" Colvin cooed at the shrine. "I think we have something here, folks. Come take a look at this!" He motioned for the group to come forward without looking away from the shrine. Meepo knew no good would come of this.


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## Samnell (Jan 16, 2002)

*XVII-When Elves Deserve to Die…Twice*

Wherein Meepo is right again.

"Ooooooh!" Colvin cooed at the shrine. "I think we have something here, folks. Come take a look at this!" He motioned for the group to come forward without looking away from the shrine. Meepo knew no good would come of this.

"Ok, but if anything moves, I'm outta here." Jaryth stepped forward. Meepo hoped he died in an entertaining manner.

Burble took a few tentative steps forward and Colvin moved a bit to the side to point out a hidden compartment he'd found on the altar. "Good job Colvin and nice spot. Now if I might step forward, how about letting me check the hidden compartment for any traps or trip wires on it, hmm?" Without waiting for an answer Burble strode in and did just that.

Rillith slowly entered the room behind Burble, and Meepo reluctantly followed. The short, hooded figure who'd yet to reveal her face to the party took small, deliberate steps as she gestured and chanted clear, strange words. She fell silent for a moment before saying, "Don't touch them.... They're magic... They're all magic..."

Meepo looked at her. "What's magic? Altar? Candle?" Anything magic could be a trap as easily as a treasure. Meepo remembered the fountain that spewed dragon water and made Rowland breathe fire.

"The whistle, the candle, and the scroll... they're magic... don't touch them." Rillith referred to the items on the altar. At least it wasn't the altar itself. Meepo had seen enough human god doings in the above-world, he didn't need yet more now that he was back out of the accursed sun. He bent over the altar to peer closely at the whistle, scroll, and candle, "Rillith sure?"

She had damned well better be. If it was the altar and it resurrected Thurston Meepo and Burble would have to kill him all over again.

"What kind of magic?" Jaryth asked tremulously. “Will it hurt us?” Nevermind us, will it hurt him? That was what Meepo wanted to know. Would it be slow? Could it hurt Lorn too? This magic had wonderful potential for constructive mayhem.

Rillith passed her hands close over each of the items. "Mmm... Protective magics..." she commented on the scroll. Meepo resolved to keep that one from Lorn and Jaryth. It would have better uses than saving their worthless lives. Saving his and Burble's worthless lives, for example.

"Ah.... Death magic..." That was the whistle. Rillith sounded amused. She thought death magic was funny. Meepo smiled to himself. This one might be mad, but this kind of madness had its uses.

"I... I can't tell. I don't know." Rillith sighed over the candle. Meepo wondered if perhaps its magic had to do with the dancing green flame burning on it without consuming the candle's wick or melting any wax. Really, and they said that upworlders studied to learn magic.

Jaryth walked over to the whistle. Meepo took a step back to keep from touching the mad whelp. He might be infectious. "Protective magic, hunh? Maybe... I could… um… test it for ya?"

Meepo gritted his teeth. No, don't waste the protection on him! Of all of them only Lorn deserves to die more! Meepo realized Jaryth was after the whistle. I suppose that he could test out the death magic, though. In fact, why not give it to him? As much as he'd like…

"DON'T!!!!" Rillith motioned to the whistle... "Are you prepared for the magics of death and the undead?" Meepo was especially prepared for them. Looking forward to them, even. He was sure they'd put on a good show as they slowly burned away Jaryth's soul over a lifetime while tiny morsels of his flesh were stripped away and fed to- Meepo shook himself out of his reverie. Now was not the time for daydreaming, however pleasant.

"OH!! In that case, here..." Jaryth seized the scroll instead. "Hmm what kind of protective magic? I wonder if the whistle wakes up the people in the sarcophagus, and the scroll protects you from them, and the candle lets you command them?"

As Jaryth's hand fell on the scroll, for a moment Meepo saw a strange web of glowing light melt into existence between the scroll, the altar, and the sarcophagi lining the walls. Sudden plumes of gray light rode the strands of the web, devouring it as they went and reached each sarcophagus in turn. Then Meepo blinked and it was gone.

Jaryth hardly finished his words before six of the sarcophagi burst open, their lids thrown aside to reveal four thin skeletons whose eyes glimmered with baleful motes of red light; tiny sparks of roiling hellfire. They strode out of their sarcophagi as two gaunt figures, flesh twisted and leathery burst out flanking the altar. Their teeth we sharply pointed, befitting a kobold even, and their hands twisted into claws. Long tongues rolled out of their mouths and flicked back and forth as they moved to join the skeletons, claws drawn up menacingly. Pointed ears were still visible on their heads. They were the only things worse than elves, undead elves.

The undead formed two neat lines along either side of the wall. Burble, Meepo, Jaryth, Rillith, and Colvin were nearly surrounded.

"YOU SAID THIS WAS PROTECTION MAGIC!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BLOODY FLAMING MAGE ARE YOU RILITH!!!!!!?" Jaryth howled. Despite the circumstances and the not at all trivial threat to his own life, Meepo had to choke back a laugh at the whelp's indignant shout in the face of the fate he'd brought on himself.

"The kind that will explain it to you, if you live to see another day..." Rillith said calmly, her owl taking flight and landing atop an idle sarcophagus.

Burble clawed for his weapons and yelled back, "Damn you Jaryth, We TOLD you not to touch anything yet. Hope you live through this so I can kick your arse in." Meepo was reminded of a kobold proverb: Never beat your hatchlings. Kill one of their clutchmates in front of them instead. They will respect you for it. If they do not, kill them. Jaryth had his chance. Now he had to die more than ever.

Meepo screamed at Jaryth as he drew his stolen goblin sword, not yet sure if he'd use it on live human or dead elf first. "Worthless boy woke dead things!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAHH!” Colvin screamed, a bit slow on the uptake. "Good job, kid..." he continued. "Looks like you flushed them out!" Meepo thought the humans might enjoy this. Colvin stepped back and nocked an arrow. "Yes, I think this one should stick!"

"Blame Rilith! She said it was a protective scroll! Protective scrolls don't do make skeletons come to life!" Jaryth protested.

"Unless, of course, the protective magic was what was keeping them in their tombs until you picked the scroll up. But hey, who's counting, right?" Colvin smiled. It was very worrying to Meepo that the humans thought this was a time to joke. For a moment he considered the possibility that Jaryth was the sanest of them.

"Oh shut up and fight kid. Next time just keep your hands to yourself till someone clears the damned room. This is the second time we have had to battle something you caused when if you had just ... never mind, Battle on people." Burble snarled.

Lorn called to Sal somewhere behind Meepo. The thought of having Lorn at his back worried the kobold greatly and he wasn't happy to be reminded of it. "Sal, why don't you do the honors? I will cover you."

"Last time I did this..." Sal grumbled. Jaryth conjured his ghostly spider and scurried up the wall to the ceiling as Sal trailed off. Colvin fells back and drew a bead on one of the two undead still sheathed in some semblance of flesh. Meepo thought those two the most dangerous himself. The archer's shot missed and in making it he almost took a raking blow to the arm from the skeleton to his side. Meepo was vaguely disappointed.

"What? I missed? Nonononono....uh uh. I. Do. Not. MISS!" Colvin protested. Meepo thought Colvin could benefit from a closer relationship with reality. All the humans could, really.

An arrow hit another skeleton, shot from behind Meepo. His heart leaped into his throat as he realized that the humans were firing into the fray. He knew all too well that they weren't above hitting their own as they tried to kill their foes. Meepo may have put an arrow into Embrill's back once himself, but Embrill was just another foe to him.

Lorn came diving into the fray with his rapier in hand, striking at another skeleton. Meepo was glad the human had changed over from a proper sword to a glorified needle. He'd die faster that way.

Burble somersaulted out of the fray, falling back into one of the corners of the room and invoked his god. Meepo felt power fill the room for a moment, laughing in the shadows. The undead were unmoved, save for one still clad in withered flesh. It looked straight into Burble's eyes and laughed, a hellish dry cackle that saw its overlong tongue falling out of its mouth past a row of pointed teeth.

With Burble in the corner, Meepo realized he was exposed. He fell back himself and drew his crossbow. Shoving a bolt home, he began looking for a shot that stood a fair chance of accidentally hitting Lorn or Jaryth. Sal charged past him and felled a skeleton with a single blow. That dwarf had his uses. It was no wonder Burble kept him around.

An arcane bolt streaked over his shoulder and blew apart another skeleton's ribcage. Rowland had his uses too, though clearly the most important and valuable purpose he could serve would be in giving over the power of his blood. Meepo looked forward to that day.

Nearly surrounded by a wall of undead next to the altar, Rillith was twice torn by one of the long-tongued undead and fell to the floor. Her blood ran red across the cold stone. She fell without even a twitch and her assailant ducked down. It came up with a stain of crimson on its lips and blood dripping from its tongue. Rillith's owl swooped down shrieking its rage at her attacker.

"RILLITH!! GET AWAY FROM HER YOU ROTTING MEATBAG!!" Colvin screamed.

"Hey Sal! You go to his left, I'll take his right. Let's hit this skeleton from both sides!" Meepo wondered how foolish Sal would have to be to follow Lorn's tactical advice.

Burble yelled at Colvin to stop trying to use his bow when the enemy was in arm's reach. Of course the wisdom was lost on a human, who insisted, "Trust me, it's better this way." Meepo would trust Colvin as far as he could throw the archer.


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## Rel (Jan 17, 2002)

Hey, Samnell, any idea what happened to Cezmail?  He kinda disappeared and since he was the reader of so many story hours, it didn't seem like him to do that.  I hope everything is ok with him.


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## Samnell (Jan 17, 2002)

Rel, Charlie's ok. He's just got some RL problems that have been keeping him away.


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## Rel (Jan 18, 2002)

Thanks for the reply.  Please send him my regards and tell him I hope he can return to the Story Hours soon.


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## Dawn (Jan 18, 2002)

Cool.  Found the new boards and now ready for more Meepo!


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## Psychotic Jim (Jan 19, 2002)

Ditto here.  Meepo just seems to have so much more... _character_  than your typical fantasy heroes.


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## Samnell (Jan 19, 2002)

> Meepo just seems to have so much more... character than your typical fantasy heroes.




It's entirely the typical fantasy hero's fault. If they would just kill paladins in their sleep they too could have this much character. Wimps.


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## Rune (Jan 20, 2002)

*Woohoo!*

Meepo's back!


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## Samnell (Jan 21, 2002)

*Re: Woohoo!*



			
				Rune said:
			
		

> *Meepo's back! *




Well, sorta. I still don't know when I'm going to have the time to sit down and transcribe some more. But I did take proper measures to preserve the old stuff.

Speaking of which, the party has just had a meeting with a giant compost pile if anyone's curious as to our progress through the module.


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## Rune (Feb 1, 2002)

Rune make bump Meepo


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## Psychotic Jim (Feb 2, 2002)

*Meepo Story Hour Heroes in Rogue's Gallery?*

Samnell, oh Great And Powerful Portrayer of All That is Meepo, would you get your players to post their characters in the Rogue's Gallery like many other Story Hours authors are doing?  That would be, as another diminuative and crafty denizen from Southpark very similar to Meepo would say, "Sweet!"


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## Samnell (Feb 2, 2002)

I'll see about it, but since I'm the only one of us who currently frequents the boards if it gets done I'll probably have to do it myself...not that I'd necessarily mind.

Then you can all see the obscene ability scores some of them have.


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## djrdjmsqrd (Mar 3, 2002)

*More Meepo?!*

It has taken me a long time to find the collected works of Meepo once again.  But now that I have, I see that there have been no new updates.  Please, please find time to write more Meepo!


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## hong (Mar 4, 2002)

I think Meepo deserves recognition as an honorary iconic character. What do people like Krusk, Tordek, Mialee et al have that he doesn't?


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## Samnell (Mar 4, 2002)

> I think Meepo deserves recognition as an honorary iconic character. What do people like Krusk, Tordek, Mialee et al have that he doesn't?




Scruples.


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## hong (Mar 4, 2002)

Samnell said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Scruples. *




Hah! Have you seen what those iconics got up to on the set of NeMoren's Vault while PKitty was away? Meepo would be a saint compared to them!


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## Malachai_rose (Mar 5, 2002)

*Meepo !!!*

Just wanted to drop in and say, plz for the love of all thats holy post more meepo  Hehe just hadn't seen the little rugrat around the boards in a few weeks and with the demise of Doc's story hour we all desperately need everyones favorite wannabe Dragon Disciple to post more of his amazing story  Well anyways just wanted to let ya know that Meepo (and your great story hour) have not been forgotten.


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## Aussiereeper (Mar 6, 2002)

*Bump meepo*

* Bump *


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## kaboom (Apr 3, 2002)

Why doesn't Meepo go into explosves?


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## Samnell (Apr 27, 2002)

kaboom said:
			
		

> *Why doesn't Meepo go into explosves? *




Would you want to be carrying around explosives with a bunch of stupid humans who have established that they have death wishes? I think not. 

Faithful readers, in two weeks my classes will be over for the summer and I'm going to see about making some more nice. Possibly I'll start plying you with the adventures of one Milo Mellancot as well, in a new thread. Here's a teaser:

"Oh, how wonderful it is to feel the tentacles squirming and sliding in my brain again! After so long without I had feared I would never know their enlightening presence again. I can feel them pressing up against the backs of my ears and eyes. Perhaps one glorious day they will burst out."


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## Psychotic Jim (Apr 27, 2002)

Yay, Meepo's back! And the peasants doth rejoiced!   What is this about Milo Mellancot?  It sounds like some sort of twisted CoC story hour.


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## Samnell (Apr 27, 2002)

> Yay, Meepo's back! And the peasants doth rejoiced!




If you rejoice for another two weeks you'll even be in the market for an update. 



> What is this about Milo Mellancot? It sounds like some sort of twisted CoC story hour.




Milo might spawn a new story hour. He has to live a bit longer before I get confident about it. I also have to find out if I can write about him sustainably and decide how to format the thing.

As for Milo himself, consider him a hopeless romantic.


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## Samnell (Jun 19, 2002)

No, this isn't an update. Sorry, I just don't have the time.

It is good news, though!

Some of you who've been around this thread forever might remember Cezmail, Burble's player. Cez dropped out of sight last fall due to some personal issues. He was a reader of a great many story hours in his day and I used to get asked about him a lot.

Well I've heard from him today. He says he's doing much better now and asked me to say hello for him.


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## Old One (Jun 19, 2002)

*Thanks for the Update...*

Samnelll -

Thanks for posting that.  Tell Cez/Charlie that Old One says hello!

~ Old One


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## Samnell (Aug 9, 2002)

If anyone's curious, Meepo died in Calcryx's jaws two days ago. The rest of the party died with him.


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## Thorntangle (Aug 9, 2002)

Oops! Sorry to hear that. I was hoping to see Meepo reach epic levels.


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## Rousing Fox (Aug 9, 2002)

Too bad. RIP, Meepo. End of a long journey. Maybe we'll have the chronicle one day ?


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## cezmail (Aug 13, 2002)

*We live on- if only in memory and deeds*

Well folks, after a long absence, I am back on the boards, and just wanted to say at the conclusion of our game that the group will continue, though in a new and different world and enviroment. Burble died with his loyal friend. Just let this be a lesson folks, never, NEVER piss of a dragon when Pat is the DM. : ) 

Thanks for reading and enjoying our times in the last days and year. 

Charlie aka Burble


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## Samnell (Aug 13, 2002)

Rousing Fox said:
			
		

> *Too bad. RIP, Meepo. End of a long journey. Maybe we'll have the chronicle one day ? *




Part of the problem is that I'm not writing from memory. I have an immense backlog of archived email that I go through to generate each story post. It's a lot of work. Writing what Meepo's thinking is actually pretty easy. Getting events in sequence and giving the other guys dialog isn't.

The group's going out with new PCs to start Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil (winner of the Wulf Ratbane _Slutty Whore of the Story Hours_ award!), though. I may get a story hour out of that. If I can stay atop it the backlog wouldn't be so big.


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## Old One (Aug 13, 2002)

*Re: We live on- if only in memory and deeds*



			
				cezmail said:
			
		

> *Well folks, after a long absence, I am back on the boards, and just wanted to say at the conclusion of our game that the group will continue, though in a new and different world and enviroment. Burble died with his loyal friend. Just let this be a lesson folks, never, NEVER piss of a dragon when Pat is the DM. : )
> 
> Thanks for reading and enjoying our times in the last days and year.
> 
> Charlie aka Burble *




Charlie!

Great to see you back...

Hope all is well with you, though I am sorry to hear about the demise of Burble and everyone's favorite "make nice" kobold.  Looking forward to your new adventures!

~ Old One


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## cezmail (Aug 13, 2002)

*Re: Re: We live on- if only in memory and deeds*

Thanks Old One and all others for the welcome back. yeah I had some ups and downs in the past and it seems a shame that I get back into the stride of being in the game again just to see us all killed. But I have a nice new character for the new game and am working on details with God and other players. Pat is all psyched with the Silver Marches material he is using for the new game, and it is cool having a chance to play in an area I know little about. 

Burble will be missed, and he will live on in the after-life, with Burble at his back. We shall see how well he " Makes Nice " with them darn ghosts and spirits. 



			
				Old One said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Charlie!
> 
> ...


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## Samnell (Aug 13, 2002)

*Re: Re: Re: We live on- if only in memory and deeds*



			
				cezmail said:
			
		

> *Burble will be missed, and he will live on in the after-life, with Burble at his back. We shall see how well he " Makes Nice " with them darn ghosts and spirits. *




Meepo looks up at Pholtus's towering form and leans over to Burble, "Meepo say wait until dark. Then cut throat and steal sword."


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## cezmail (Aug 13, 2002)

*Meepo in the afterlife*

Burble, looking at the Blinding One, nods carfully. " Yeap. I will kill him and you can look out for his Paladin Thurston. " 



			
				Samnell said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Meepo looks up at Pholtus's towering form and leans over to Burble, "Meepo say wait until dark. Then cut throat and steal sword." *


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## Malachai_rose (Aug 14, 2002)

*heheh*

lol, I can just imagine the dynamic duo sayin that too, thats the funny part


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## cezmail (Aug 15, 2002)

*yeap we are the dynamic dead duo*

Thanks Malachi for the post and the continuous support for Burble and Meepo. Maybe if Pat ever wants to try a hanc at an undead game, we can bring the two friends back for many more adventures, mayhem, and treasure.  



			
				Malachai_rose said:
			
		

> *lol, I can just imagine the dynamic duo sayin that too, thats the funny part  *


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