# Best Bad movies



## TracerBullet42 (Feb 5, 2004)

Ok, so we've now had the best movies nobody's heard of, the worst movies, and favorite comedies...and probably a few others that I've forgotten to include here.

This thread is for a different kind of movie.  This is for the movies that you're embarrassed to admit you like.  You know the movie isn't held in high regard.  Perhaps you even publicly deny that you like this movie, but you have your own copy stashed away somewhere at home so that you can pull it out and watch it when nobody's around.

For me, it's probably Mars Attacks.  I have yet to meet another person who enjoys that movie.  In fact many people seem to have a seething hatred for it.  One of my friends described his viewing experience of that movie as follows:

"I just hate the fact that some day, I'm going to have to account for those two hours of my life to God, and I don't know what I'll be able to say."

I, however, thought the movie was hilarious.  Lots of cameo deaths, Slim Whitman doing the trick...and it has Tom Jones!

I'm sure that there are worse ones out there, and I'd love for you to share them with me.  So come on, what's your guilty pleasure of a movie?

It's ok, you can share it...we won't make fun of you...much.


----------



## aliensex (Feb 5, 2004)

Wasn't there already a large Guilty Pleasures movie thread?

Yeah, Mars attacks was good, don't know why people would hate it that much.  I mean, try telling God you sat through Battlefield Earth  

A bad movie that I really enjoy?  Man, thats a lot.  I seem to like bad movies  

I guess I'll list Maximum Overdrive.  Hey, its worth watching just for the soundtrack! (oh, and the guy getting a pop can fired into his crotch  )


----------



## Kesh (Feb 5, 2004)

Are you kidding? I loved _Mars Attacks!_ 

Hm. For right now, I'd have to pick a couple:

1) The D&D movie. Yes, it sucked. Still, it has its moments, and I got the DVD for $8.

2) Don't own it, but I rather enjoyed _The Bodyguard_. Which earned me derisive looks and comments from the jocks in college. 

3) I do, however, own some really, really bad anime porn. One of which has a decent story that's ruined by the sex scenes.


----------



## Villano (Feb 5, 2004)

aliensex said:
			
		

> Wasn't there already a large Guilty Pleasures movie thread?
> 
> Yeah, Mars attacks was good, don't know why people would hate it that much.  I mean, try telling God you sat through Battlefield Earth




I love Battlefield: Earth!  I recently read a quote from Commander USA's Groovie Movies (remember that show?) which sums up B: E nicely.  Speaking about a Gamera movie he was showing, the Commander remarks,  "They're professional monster movie makers.  They probably don't even need to use a script."    


I also like Charlie's Angels: Full Throtle.


----------



## mojo1701 (Feb 5, 2004)

Kesh said:
			
		

> 3) I do, however, own some really, really bad anime porn. One of which has a decent story that's ruined by the sex scenes.




Wow! Porn that actually had a story in it?


----------



## DarkSoldier (Feb 6, 2004)

Villano said:
			
		

> I love Battlefield: Earth!



You, sir, are either not human, masochistic, or a Scientologist.



> I also like Charlie's Angels: Full Throtle.



Yep, you're definitely masochistic.


----------



## Ankh-Morpork Guard (Feb 6, 2004)

Mars Attacks is such a fun movie. Horrible...but fun.


----------



## Silver Moon (Feb 6, 2004)

We had a bad movie weekend once for our gaming friends where we started on Friday and ended on Sunday.   Each person present for a film got to vote.  The all time bad movie winner was 1983's "Hercules" starring Lou Ferrigno.   So bad on so many levels that it was actually fun.    Caution if your looking for this film - skip the 1985 sequel, it had better production values and none of the silly fun.


----------



## JediSoth (Feb 6, 2004)

Flash Gordon (1980). Max von Sydow, Timothy Dalton, Brian Blessed, Sam J. Jones. It was MST3K-worthy, but so bad, you can laugh at it without anyone making snide comments.

JediSoth


----------



## MrFilthyIke (Feb 6, 2004)

TracerBullet42 said:
			
		

> For me, it's probably Mars Attacks.  I have yet to meet another person who enjoys that movie.




You are not alone, both my wife and I love that flick.


----------



## MrFilthyIke (Feb 6, 2004)

Villano said:
			
		

> I love Battlefield: Earth.




I also like this film, I must have NO good taste.


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 6, 2004)

JediSoth said:
			
		

> Flash Gordon (1980).




Careful.  That's one of my all-time favourite films.

-Hyp.
(Moderator)


----------



## trancejeremy (Feb 6, 2004)

JediSoth said:
			
		

> Flash Gordon (1980). Max von Sydow, Timothy Dalton, Brian Blessed, Sam J. Jones. It was MST3K-worthy, but so bad, you can laugh at it without anyone making snide comments.
> 
> JediSoth




You do realize it was deliberately made campy?

It was written by a guy who worked on the 60's Batman.


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 6, 2004)

trancejeremy said:
			
		

> You do realize it was deliberately made campy?




Max Von Sydow, Timothy Dalton, and Brian Blessed obviously got the memo, but Sam Jones and Melody Anderson apparently missed it 

_Fantastic_ film  

-Hyp.


----------



## Blue_Kryptonite (Feb 6, 2004)

The list is long, but I have a caveat. We're supposed to list things we're embarrassed to like.. Well, I have a slight problem. I've got a congenital neurological condition that among other things, means I have no real idea what it feels like to be embarrassed, ashamed, or self-conscious. I also seem to lack a Dark Side or anything like it. That said... Flash Gordon, Mars Attacks, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Invasion!, Ice Pirates, etc, etc, while I enjoy the humor, are things I LOVE. I don't see them as camp, joke, bad.. I see them as the way I'd like all movies to be. The D&D film is great. I also like Lord Of The Rings, but having read the books and seen the films... I wish they had lightened a few things up a bit. So maybe, pun intended, my opinions are just Anomalous.


----------



## Rozman (Feb 6, 2004)

Embarrased to admit?

"It's a Wonderful Life"

Sappy and melodramatic, but it gets me every time.


----------



## Nightfall (Feb 6, 2004)

It's okay to like sappy "It's a Wonderful Life" But come on! Charlie's Angels'!??! Battlefield Earth?!! The ugh factor on ALL those is beyond rank.


----------



## Barendd Nobeard (Feb 6, 2004)

Nightfall said:
			
		

> The ugh factor on ALL those is beyond rank.



I think that's the point of this thread.  

I liked *The Hulk*.  I think I was the only one in America who did.


----------



## aliensex (Feb 6, 2004)

Nightfall said:
			
		

> It's okay to like sappy "It's a Wonderful Life" But come on! Charlie's Angels'!??! Battlefield Earth?!! The ugh factor on ALL those is beyond rank.




Now, now.  No need to judge.  I can get weird looks from some people when I say that I love Army of Darkness!    Go figure.  Everyone has different tastes (my ex-girlfriend thought AoD was stupid  ).

Another bad movie I liked was Tank Girl.  Bad, yes.  Fun, hell yes!  Maybe I'm just a Malcolm McDowell fan


----------



## NarlethDrider (Feb 6, 2004)

Mine wouldhave to be the Deathstalker series


----------



## Richards (Feb 6, 2004)

Mine is "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster."  The one where Godzilla uses his fire breath to jet propel himself (backwards no less!) through the air.

I've seen that movie more times than any other - several dozen times, at least.  (It was on just about monthly on the weekends when I was a kid, it seems.)

Johnathan


----------



## Wombat (Feb 6, 2004)

In the words of my buddy, "It's all about Godzilla!  I mean, it's a guy in a rubber suit stomping on a model of Tokyo -- it's a universal language!"


----------



## Villano (Feb 6, 2004)

Nightfall said:
			
		

> It's okay to like sappy "It's a Wonderful Life" But come on! Charlie's Angels'!??! Battlefield Earth?!! The ugh factor on ALL those is beyond rank.




As Barendd Nobeard said, that's the point of the thread.   

Besides, Battlefield: Earth has a better script than The Phantom Menace or Matrix Reloaded.  Better acting, too.


----------



## Greatwyrm (Feb 6, 2004)

I'm a big Godzilla fan, so _Godzilla vs King Kong_ is on my list.  I think rubber monster movies should probably be their own category.

Other than that, _The Beastmaster_ is probably my favorite bad movie.  TBS used to show it practically every other day at one time.


----------



## Rackhir (Feb 6, 2004)

Villano said:
			
		

> As Barendd Nobeard said, that's the point of the thread.
> 
> Besides, Battlefield: Earth has a better script than The Phantom Menace or Matrix Reloaded.  Better acting, too.




I'm sorry, but B:E is beyond simply bad, it's like Highlander 2. Showing it should trigger assault charges. 



> Max Von Sydow, Timothy Dalton, and Brian Blessed obviously got the memo, but Sam Jones and Melody Anderson apparently missed it




I'm not sure I can agree with you on that. Max, Tim and Brian's characters were all supposed to be over the Top. Flash is the noble square jawed character. Short of going into parody, someone has to play the straight guy, to all the comics.


----------



## aliensex (Feb 6, 2004)

Barendd Nobeard said:
			
		

> I think that's the point of this thread.
> 
> I liked *The Hulk*.  I think I was the only one in America who did.




The Hulk was really cool.....  when Hulk was actually in the movie.  Problem?  He was only in about 30% OF THE MOVIE!!!!!  

Bruce Banner was intensly boring, which is what killed it for me.  More *HULK!*  More *HULK!*


----------



## Kesh (Feb 6, 2004)

mojo1701 said:
			
		

> Wow! Porn that actually had a story in it?




Yep. I'm rather torn about buying the next disc, because I want to see where this story is going... but the sex is just horribly, horribly trite and over-the-top. And it interrupts the story.


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 6, 2004)

Rackhir said:
			
		

> I'm sorry, but B:E is beyond simply bad, it's like Highlander 2.




[automatic]There's no such film.[/automatic]



> I'm not sure I can agree with you on that. Max, Tim and Brian's characters were all supposed to be over the Top. Flash is the noble square jawed character. Short of going into parody, someone has to play the straight guy, to all the comics.




Yeah, but he (and Dale) took themselves a little _too_ seriously.

Like I say, it's one of my favourite films _ever_.  But Flash and Dale really come across at times as if they think they're in a different movie.

-Hyp.


----------



## Zander (Feb 6, 2004)

Here are a few of mine (some of which have already been mentioned):

Hawk the Slayer
Beastmaster
D&D Movie
D&D cartoon (not a movie, I know)
Supernatural Monster City (anime) - this one also goes by other names that I can't recall
Blood of Heroes
Clash of the Titans
Jack the Giant Killer
Merlin - made for TV movie
Jason and the Argonauts - 2000 version. I also like the earlier one.


----------



## reapersaurus (Feb 7, 2004)

Could someone post a link to the "Guilty Pleasures" thread, because *this has been done already.*
:thumbsdown:

That said, I'll definately add D&D the Movie.
And I'm serious when I say I could probably defend liking Showgirls fairly well.
Many people bag on Underworld, but I don't think it needs defending as a Guilty Pleasure.
I also liked Conan: the Destroyer, and Kull the Conquerer.
Ditto Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil.
Many people hate Oscar, but it's definately a guilty pleasure, as is Point Break.

edit: oh yeah - I've defended A Knight's Tale many times on this very board from slobbering wanna-be critics before they even saw the movie.
And I liked Scorpion King, Cutthroat Island, Spawn, House on Haunted Hill (1999), LXG, Treasure Planet, Jurassic Park 2 and 3.... it goes on and on.


----------



## Ankh-Morpork Guard (Feb 7, 2004)

Reaper, aren't you used to the fact that topics WILL repeat no matter what by now?


----------



## reapersaurus (Feb 7, 2004)

Ankh - actually, no.

The only people who are absolved from blame for re-posting a thread that has exactly been done before are people who meet both criteria:

a) are newbies who weren't around when the thread was done.
b) if the thread wasn't within the past month or 2 (meaning that if someone IS new, they should read back at least 3 pages before starting a new thread)
c) they aren't a Community Supporter (i.e. they can't search).

If all 3 of those are passed, then what should happen is that the first Community Supporter that reads the re-thread should post a quick link to the thread which discussed the same exact subject, and then the re-thread should be closed.

That's what's done on other boards, so I don't see why that's a pipe dream.


----------



## Villano (Feb 7, 2004)

Since my choices seem to annoy so many people, here are a few more bad movies I like:

Judge Dredd
13 Ghosts (remake)
Mummy Returns
Dude, Where's My Car?

Heh! Heh! Heh!  That should piss someone off...


----------



## Napftor (Feb 7, 2004)

reapersaurus said:
			
		

> That's what's done on other boards, so I don't see why that's a pipe dream.




Because not everyone checks the boards once an hour?  There are so many people talking about so many things that it is difficult to remember what has/hasn't been covered and how long ago.  If you note a thread that is being repeated, just don't click on it.

As for the thread's topic: _ST: Nemesis_, _Krull_, and _The Sword and the Sorcerer_.


----------



## reiella (Feb 7, 2004)

Army of Darkness 

It's a horrible movie, but just so great .

Ballistic is up there too.  Where else can you see the same bus explode four times?


----------



## TiQuinn (Feb 7, 2004)

"Bash the thread for being repeated, but oh, while I'm at it...here's some of my favorite bad movies too.  But damn you all for repeating!" - Reapersaurus

Where's the rolleyes when you need one?


----------



## Truth Seeker (Feb 7, 2004)

Remember*.....Mega Force?*


----------



## Wereserpent (Feb 7, 2004)

I am not going to call this a guilt pleasure movie, because i though it was an excellent movie. a copy of it though, and it only came to some theatres, but never mine, but i did rent it.  I also loved the TV series.  Seasons one and two were the best, the Whole Myotismon Story Arc was probably the high point of both seasons.  I liked season three as well But i am quite fond of The Digimon Movie that came out a couple of years ago.  I dont own , it was much darker than the previous two.  Which is what lost the show a lot of viewers.  I have not even really seen season four, i have seen some episodes, and it seems decent.  But it still pales in comparison to the first three seasons.

(Stops when he realzies that he is raving about how great a childrens anime show is.)

I somehow managed to move the sentences in my post around, sorry if it is a little confusing.


----------



## Nightfall (Feb 7, 2004)

There is nothing wrong with Armies of Darkness. It's supposed to be campy bad. Same with Spawn. But Battlefield Earth is a trainwrack on top of a toxic spill.


----------



## Mog Elffoe (Feb 7, 2004)

*Commando*

Truly B-A-D.

Truly F-U-N.

"I eat Green Berets for breakfast!  And right now I'm VERY HUNGRY!"


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 7, 2004)

Mog Elffoe said:
			
		

> *Commando*
> 
> Truly B-A-D.
> 
> Truly F-U-N.




"Please don't disturb my friend.  He's dead tired."

"What happened to Sully?"
"I let him go."

"Let off some _steam_, Bennett!"

Awesome.  I love that movie.

And the lines in _The Running Man_ are right up there as well 

-Hyp.


----------



## TracerBullet42 (Feb 7, 2004)

reapersaurus said:
			
		

> Ankh - actually, no.
> 
> The only people who are absolved from blame for re-posting a thread that has exactly been done before are people who meet both criteria:
> 
> ...




Sorry for starting it, geez...you know you don't have to read it, right?


----------



## Barendd Nobeard (Feb 7, 2004)

TracerBullet42 said:
			
		

> Sorry for starting it, geez...you know you don't have to read it, right?



Don't apologize.  Fun thread, even if it is a re-thread!


----------



## Mog Elffoe (Feb 7, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> And the lines in _The Running Man_ are right up there as well
> 
> -Hyp.




"What hapened to Buzzsaw?"

"He had to _split_!"


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 7, 2004)

Mog Elffoe said:
			
		

> "What hapened to Buzzsaw?"
> 
> "He had to _split_!"




"What a pain in the neck."

"What a hot-head."

"Here's Sub-Zero... now plain _zero_."

And of course, my favourite Arnold "What the hell does that mean?" line of all time: "Uplinks, underground!  Uplinks, underground!  I'll uplink your _ass_ - then _you'll_ be underground!"

-Hyp.


----------



## Bass Puppet (Feb 8, 2004)

Man, some of these movies should never see the light of day, but anyways, the bad movie that I like to watch are...

Black Samurai starring the one and only Jim Kelly.
Krull
Deathrace 2000
Detriot 9000
Master of the Flying Guillotine
Five Deadly Venoms
Clash of the Titans
Beastmaster
Evil Dead 2
Orgazmo
The Sword and the Sorceror
Yellowbeard


----------



## Darrin Drader (Feb 8, 2004)

OK, first of all The Hulk. I refused to go see it because the Hulk should never be remade as long as Bill Bixby remains in his grave. Him (and Lou Farigno) are the Hulk and no one can fill their shoes, especially not some Hollywood prettyboy and a green CGI staypuff marshmellow man.

Its funny that Mars Attacks was the first movie mentioned. I saw it on DVD the day I had my wisdom teeth removed. As if that movie wasn't sick enough, I had to pause every few minutes to spit blood into the sink. I was feeling nautious for over half the movie, which I think, enhanced the viewing experience.

The Mummy Returns was a bad movie? Did I miss that memo? I thought it did well both in the box office and with the reviewers.

Now, my list:

Highlander 2 - yep, I like it!
The Sword and the Sorcerer - is this out on DVD? If so, I want it.
Kull the Conqueror - I liked it, though I think it would have been better if the battles would have been bloody like they were in the Conan movies. I mean it's a barbarian flick. You have to have blood in a barbarian flick! *sigh*
Clash of he titans - one of the best B movies ever.
Scorpian King - roxxors. Where's the damn sequel where he turns into the badass we see in the Mummy II?
The Running Man - Classic Arnold fun movie. We need more of those these days.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 8, 2004)

reapersaurus said:
			
		

> Ankh - actually, no.
> 
> The only people who are absolved from blame for re-posting a thread that has exactly been done before are people who meet both criteria:
> 
> ...



chill out threadcop that's what the mods are for.


----------



## jdavis (Feb 8, 2004)

I must admit that my favorite movie ever is _Streets of Fire_. My wife looked at me and said "what the hell is that crap" and left the room last time I watched it but I'm used to that kind of reaction. What can you say about a movie that mixes the 50's with the early 80's.

Others:
_Anaconda_, come on it's got Ice Cube and a snake that breaks the laws of physics, how cool is that.

_Hardware, _a movie that gives fat disgusting stalkers and killer robots a bad name. A must see for bad movie goodness.

_The Big Hit,_ It's easy to imagine that Mark Walberg wasn't actually acting. What a fun movie.


----------



## Villano (Feb 8, 2004)

Whisperfoot said:
			
		

> The Mummy Returns was a bad movie? Did I miss that memo? I thought it did well both in the box office and with the reviewers.




First off, I liked it.   

It did very well at the box office, but critics weren't so kind.  Ebert & Roper both gave it thumbs down, I believe.  It was pretty much dismissed as being just a filmed "video game".  

There's a review website, www.scoopy.com , that lists the critics' and public's opinions as well as the box office.  Here's what they have say about Mummy Returns:



> The Critics Vote:
> 
> General consensus: between two and two and a half stars. Ebert 2/4, Berardinelli 2.5/4, Apollo 63/100.
> 
> ...




They rate movies by letter grade and gave the film a "C".


----------



## S'mon (Feb 9, 2004)

jdavis said:
			
		

> I must admit that my favorite movie ever is _Streets of Fire_. My wife looked at me and said "what the hell is that crap" and left the room last time I watched it but I'm used to that kind of reaction. What can you say about a movie that mixes the 50's with the early 80's.




Wow, yes, I'd forgotten about that!  A great terrible movie.

I was just thinking of the bad sword & sorcery films I like - Hawk the Slayer & Beastmaster are my favourites.  Conan the Destroyer & Red Sonja get thumbs down because the original Conan movie was actually good.  I guess Showgirls is the movie I'm actually ashamed to say I liked, it had strong echoes of the Golden Bough myth (the priest of Diana is an escaped slave who must kill his predecessor) which I think was deliberate.


----------



## Qlippoth (Feb 9, 2004)

Richards said:
			
		

> Mine is "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster."  The one where Godzilla uses his fire breath to jet propel himself (backwards no less!) through the air.



Don't forget the groovy opening song--"Save The Earth"!


----------



## Tom Cashel (Feb 9, 2004)

First, my own guilty pleasure: the remake of _The Avengers_.  I happen to believe that it's bad in precisely the same way that the original series was bad.  Yet the original series is great.  Uma in a catsuit!  Fiennes and Thurman just don't have the same chemistry as McNee and Riggs, though (or really any chemistry at all).

Now, on to _Mars Attacks!_, and why it is not actually a bad film at all.  Taken on its own, it's campy and cartoony and not all that great.  But you have to place it within the film-history context...

It was released the same year as _Independence Day_, the most over-the-top, take-itself-too-seriously, beat-your-chest-and-be-proud-to-be-American, steal-from-every-film-in-the-genre, overrated hack-job in recent memory.  _Mars Attacks!_ is the antidote, the comedic yang to _Independence Day_'s yin.

Plus, there's a corrollary to this relationship if you go a little further back, to 1964.  _Fail Safe_, the deadly serious yet morally ineffective nuclear exchange tale, had its same-year antidote in the utterly brilliant _Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb_.

For more corrollary, consider that both _Strangelove_ and _Mars Attacks!_ feature a well-known actor in multiple roles; in both cases one of those roles was the President.


----------



## Storm Raven (Feb 9, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> Yeah, but he (and Dale) took themselves a little _too_ seriously.
> 
> Like I say, it's one of my favourite films _ever_.  But Flash and Dale really come across at times as if they think they're in a different movie.




That's part of the genre. Its not really a mistake that the opening credits are done over pictures from the old comic strips. Flash and Dale _are supposed_ to take themselves seriously, because the heroes in those sorts of 1930s style comic strips _did_. Ming, Voltan and Beren are supposed to be over the top, because those characters are _supposed_ to be loud, and over the top. The film captured the genre it was going for perfectly.


----------



## s/LaSH (Feb 10, 2004)

Galeros said:
			
		

> (Stops when he realzies that he is raving about how great a childrens anime show is.)




Don't stop. Digimon is one of my favourite TV shows ever. Although I shouldn't mention it because I haven't actually seen the movie... (sob sob)

Ah, what the heck. Digimon is to Pokemon as Neon Genesis Evangelion is to one of those gameshows where they build battling robots. Season 3 was inutterably cool.(Even after that 'accident' with the MST3K movie.) Season 4, which I'm watching now, is getting cool too (about time we had some psychodrama...). It's interesting; no matter how a season of Digimon starts off, by the halfway point you're seeing the characters completely differently as they battle their personal demons and win... or lose and start over.

Man, I love that show.

In the realm of actual movies, I must again confess my love to hate Mortal Kombat: Anihilation, which should admittedly be anihilated, but still occasionally screens at some hour past midnight where I can watch it suck all over again. And, of course, Army of Darkness and Mars Attacks are classics. Who couldn't like them? (Even though AoD wasn't a comic book adaptation...)


----------



## reapersaurus (Feb 11, 2004)

jdavis said:
			
		

> _Anaconda_, come on it's got Ice Cube and a snake that breaks the laws of physics, how cool is that.
> _The Big Hit,_ It's easy to imagine that Mark Walberg wasn't actually acting. What a fun movie.



Anaconda also has Kari Wuhrer in it. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			











The Big Hit is far from a bad movie, though, in my eyes - it's just too damn quirky and creative to be bad. That is one funny movie.


----------



## Dirigible (Feb 11, 2004)

> Anaconda also has Kari Wuhrer in it.




Agreed.


----------



## Rackhir (Feb 12, 2004)

Dirigible said:
			
		

> Anaconda also has Kari Wuhrer in it.




Hmmm, I thought that the only notable thing about Anaconda was that it was Jenifer Lopez, first big movie.

Mind you I lost much of my faith in the taste of the American public when that movie managed to be the #1 movie for TWO WHOLE WEEKS in a row.


----------



## Kastil (Feb 14, 2004)

Ummm,  I liked Big Trouble in Little China.  I even tortured my husband with it the other day.  It was a choice between that uncut and uninterrupted on one channel and The Princess Bride with commercials.  Since I already tortured him with The Princess Bride, I went with the other.

Was Kurt Russell a dork in that film or what?


----------



## reapersaurus (Feb 14, 2004)

who the heck listed Big Trouble in Little China as a Bad Movie?


----------



## Mirth (Feb 14, 2004)

Since nobody's mentioned it: Point Break. 

Horrible acting. Ridiculous plot. Johnny Utah. Surfing Bank Robbers. 

It never stood a chance of being good, yet it is amazingly brilliant. I've already written the direct-to-video sequel. Now if I can just get Jake Busey, Jan-Michael Vincent, Pat Hingle and the Olsen twins on board, my dream project can be made.

I'm dead serious.

Really.


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 14, 2004)

Mirth said:
			
		

> I've already written the direct-to-video sequel.




Wait... wasn't that _The Fast and the Furious_?

-Hyp.


----------



## Mirth (Feb 14, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> Wait... wasn't that _The Fast and the Furious_?
> 
> -Hyp.




That is such an insult to _Point Break_ that I'm not even gonna reply.

Wait. Oh. Damn Your Blue Hide!!!


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 14, 2004)

Mirth said:
			
		

> That is such an insult to _Point Break_ that I'm not even gonna reply.




Buddy, I enjoyed _Point Break_ too.

But swap the surfboards for cars, and the banks for trucks.  _The Fast and the Furious_ is as blatant a remake of _Point Break_ as _Ten Things I Hate About You_ was of _The Taming of the Shrew_, say.

Hell, close your eyes and listen while Paul Walker's talking, and tell me you can tell the difference between his voice and Keanu's... 

-Hyp.


----------



## reapersaurus (Feb 14, 2004)

reapersaurus said:
			
		

> I also liked Conan: the Destroyer, and Kull the Conquerer.
> Ditto Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil.
> Many people hate Oscar, but it's definately a guilty pleasure, as is *Point Break*.



I mentioned it among others...   
It's riveting to me for some reason - whenever it's on, I HAVE to watch it.


----------



## Andrew D. Gable (Feb 15, 2004)

Orgazmo is one of mine as well, as is Leprechaun In The Hood with Ice-T, which I find unutterably funny.  Maybe it wasn't made that way.  But it came out that way.


----------



## pogre (Feb 15, 2004)

_Rollerball
Over the Top_

I'm so ashamed.


----------



## Kai Lord (Feb 15, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> Buddy, I enjoyed _Point Break_ too.
> 
> But swap the surfboards for cars, and the banks for trucks.  _The Fast and the Furious_ is as blatant a remake of _Point Break_



So what?  Paul Walker and Keanu are about even, but say what you will about Vin Diesel, the guy's got charisma, all the more so compared to Patrick Swayze.  And Michelle Rodriguez vs. Lori Petti?  I'll watch Rodriguez ironing her clothes, she beats out Petti any day of the week.

Which leaves tricked out cars racing around semis and one badass Charger vs. masks of President Nixon and wave surfing.  Give me cars.  Point Break was an entertaining movie, but The Fast and the Furious took the idea and surpassed it on all levels.  Nothing wrong with borrowing formulas when you reach that end result.


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 15, 2004)

Kai Lord said:
			
		

> Nothing wrong with borrowing formulas when you reach that end result.




No argument from me.  I was responding to the suggestion that relating the two movies was an insult to _Point Break_.

I was making no comment as to the relative worths of the two films... just noting that the relationship is... hard to miss 

-Hyp.


----------



## Kai Lord (Feb 15, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> No argument from me.  I was responding to the suggestion that relating the two movies was an insult to _Point Break_.



Ah.  Cool.



			
				Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> I was making no comment as to the relative worths of the two films... just noting that the relationship is... hard to miss



Yep.  If Speed was "Die Hard on a bus" then The Fast and the Furious was "Point Break with cars."


----------



## Rackhir (Feb 16, 2004)

Kastil said:
			
		

> Ummm,  I liked Big Trouble in Little China.  I even tortured my husband with it the other day.  It was a choice between that uncut and uninterrupted on one channel and The Princess Bride with commercials.  Since I already tortured him with The Princess Bride, I went with the other.
> 
> Was Kurt Russell a dork in that film or what?




The directors comentary on the movie with KR, confirmed something I'd long suspected. The whole point of the movie was that Kurt WASN'T the hero, it was the "Sidekick". Kurt was the character there for comic relief. 

BTW If showing those movies is your idea of torture, you definitely need to go back to sadist school...


----------



## Bloodstone Mage (Feb 17, 2004)

My favorite bad movies, or movies that are otherwise questionable in quality, are:

Big Trouble In Little China, since it's been talked about. I know that one of my brother's biggest complaints aobut it was John Carpenter's use of neon lights.

Freddy Got Fingered. I'm a sucker for Tom Green humor.

Bad Taste. The movie that perfected special effects, and I mean that with the most sincerest form of sarcasm.

Meet the Feebles. Essentially, it was like the Muppets on crack. This movie made me feel dirty after watching it. But for some odd reason, this movie also made me a Peter Jackson fan.

Jack Frost 2. The way he kills people is just so...pathetically humorous.

Terror Firmer. Possibly the best worst film ever made.


----------



## pjchik (Feb 17, 2004)

Well, I've always loved Krull, Flash Gordon, and Clash of the Titans.  I used to watch them with my dad when I was little.  Recently though, I've been digging through all my old 80's kid movies.  I mean, I may have been 7-8 when they came out, but I remember loving them.  The My Little Pony movie (the one with the gloop monsters, or whatever they were called)  and the He-Man and She-Ra movie (was it Secret of the Sword?)  were two I found.  Oh man!   I was laughing the whole way through!   Sadly enough, I mentioned them at a party and everybody there wanted me to go home and get them.  So there was a party full of 20-35 year olds watching My Little Pony.  Cool in a cheesy way.  BTW, love your name TracerBullet


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 17, 2004)

pjchik said:
			
		

> Well, I've always loved Krull, Flash Gordon, and Clash of the Titans.




I'm a huge fan of Krull and Flash Gordon.  I watch both regularly.

I haven't seen Clash of the Titans in _years_, though...



> ... The My Little Pony movie (the one with the gloop monsters, or whatever they were called)  and the He-Man and She-Ra movie (was it Secret of the Sword?)  were two I found.




Ouch.

I saw Secret of the Sword when I was about six.  For years, I remembered it as having been a fantastic movie.

I tracked down a copy when I was about nineteen or twenty, and a bunch of us watched it.

God, it was awful.

Fortunately, The Flight of Dragons is _still_ a fantastic movie, nearly twenty years on.

-Hyp.


----------



## pjchik (Feb 17, 2004)

The best part was going to work the next day...I had a co-worker named Teela.  She was named after the He-Man character.  I was humming/singing the "I have the Power" theme song from the movie.  I was the oldest person in my section and was trying to explain it to all these kids who didn't even remember the old show...much less the movie!   Then they gave me this look, you know the look you give your parents when they're talking about something REALLY old?  And now all these kids are all into all the old 80's stuff.  Me and my friends just laugh at them.   
By the way, did anyone else like Night of the Lepus?  Or Rattlers?  Once again, it was me watching with my dad.  (Why is it me and my dad watch this stuff together?)


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 17, 2004)

pjchik said:
			
		

> She was named after the He-Man character.




Awesome!



> I was the oldest person in my section and was trying to explain it to all these kids who didn't even remember the old show...much less the movie!




Reminds me of something really scary that happened to me a couple of years ago.

When I was in high school, our third form (uh... 8th grade?) Physics teacher taught us the Pac-Man Theory of Electrons.  It's all about how electrons are Pac-Men who run around inside copper wires...

In 6th form (11th grade), a different Physics teacher explained to us that electrons aren't _really_ Pac-Men.

But in 7th form, we had the original teacher again, and he told us not to pay any attention to the second teacher - electrons _are_ Pac-Men, and he proceeded to use the Pac-Man Theory of Electrons to explain electromagnetism.

A couple of years later, I was teaching some 6th and 7th grade extension classes in physics, and naturally I used the Pac-Man theory to explain electricity.  And it worked really well.  

My mother teaches gifted preschool children, aged 2 to 4, and she occasionally teaches about electricity.  She'd seen the classes I'd taken using tPMToE, and she tried it with her munchkins... but naturally, none of the 2-4 year olds had any clue what Pac-Man was.

But the _scary_ thing was a couple of years ago, when she discovered that a couple of the _parents_ of the 2-4 year olds didn't know what Pac-Man was.

_How can someone old enough to have children not remember Pac-Man!?_

-Hyp.


----------



## pjchik (Feb 17, 2004)

LOL!  Exactly!  How can these people not remember?  Ahhh, Pac-Man...stealer of my allowance.  I was in K-mart (erm, are we allowed to post store names?)  At any rate, I was in a store after Christmas, looking for good mark downs.  I was looking at lightsabers and a kid challenged me to a duel. (He made the whoosh noise and everything!) Well, couldn't turn down a lightsaber duel in the middle of an overcrowded discount store!  His mom admonished me because I was old enough to know better.  Whatever.  After the duel was ended by parental authority, we started talking about He-Man.  We're all discussing Skeletor and Castle Greyskull and whatnot.  His mom pops back in and asks why I know so much about kid stuff.  Okay, this kid looks to be about7-8 and his mom didn't look too old.  I figure, maybe a few years older than me.  How does she not remember He-Man?  Or Thundercats?  (Sad that I have to talk to a 7-8 year old about such things!!!) LOL  BTW...I've never heard the Pac-Man theory before...sounds neat.


----------



## TracerBullet42 (Feb 17, 2004)

pjchik said:
			
		

> BTW, love your name TracerBullet




<Blushes>

Aw, shucks...

A Calvin and Hobbes fan, I assume?


----------



## TracerBullet42 (Feb 17, 2004)

Bloodstone Mage said:
			
		

> Jack Frost 2. The way he kills people is just so...pathetically humorous.




Wow...somebody who's acutally watched this movie...

I've never seen either of the Jack Frost movies, but I think the boxes for them are absolutely hilarious.  If you ever need a good laugh while you're at the video store, just pick up the box to Jack Frost or Jack Frost 2 and read the back...

So funny...

"Jack was a normal guy, until he got into a car accident with a truck carrying freak-genetic material during a major snowstorm and turning into a killing machine..."

Or something like that...it's hilarious!

I remember the tagline...

"He's chillin'...and Killin'!"

hehehe...so cheesy.


----------



## pjchik (Feb 17, 2004)

Oh yeah...HUGE C&H fan.  LOL...The day Watterson announced he was retiring the strip, my mom was acting all weird and sat me down, started patting my shoulder and stuff.  Then she said "This is going to be hard, but you're old enough to know (dramatic pause) I was just freakin' out, I thought there was a death in the family! Then she slid the paper over.  Still, it was sweet of her to know how much it meant to me....*sniff*


----------



## TracerBullet42 (Feb 17, 2004)

pjchik said:
			
		

> Oh yeah...HUGE C&H fan.  LOL...The day Watterson announced he was retiring the strip, my mom was acting all weird and sat me down, started patting my shoulder and stuff.  Then she said "This is going to be hard, but you're old enough to know (dramatic pause) I was just freakin' out, I thought there was a death in the family! Then she slid the paper over.  Still, it was sweet of her to know how much it meant to me....*sniff*




hehehe...drama...


----------



## Bloodstone Mage (Feb 17, 2004)

pjchik said:
			
		

> Oh yeah...HUGE C&H fan.  LOL...The day Watterson announced he was retiring the strip, my mom was acting all weird and sat me down, started patting my shoulder and stuff.  Then she said "This is going to be hard, but you're old enough to know (dramatic pause) I was just freakin' out, I thought there was a death in the family! Then she slid the paper over.  Still, it was sweet of her to know how much it meant to me....*sniff*




I was a huge fan of Calvin & Hobbes (and still am a fan), and I too was horribly crushed knowing that I wouldn't be able to read about their adventures every day.

Ha, I didn't think about it until it was mentioned...I remember Tracer Bullet now. I was more fond of Stupendous Man, though. Haha...


On the subject of bad movies, I almost forgot to mention Howard the Duck, which was one of my favorite movies as a kid. Mannequin is another.

Hollywood is horribly amazing.


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 17, 2004)

pjchik said:
			
		

> Ahhh, Pac-Man...stealer of my allowance.




Heh.  I was just saying in another thread yesterday - my father worked for Taito until I was about 7 years old, so I had access to a factory floor full of arcade machines in perfect working order... but with no coin-plate, so you could reach in and hit the credit switch.

Plenty of Pac-Man, but no allowance problems 

-Hyp.


----------



## pjchik (Feb 18, 2004)

How about Spaceman Spiff?   And I can't believe I forgot Howard the Duck!  Lucky HyperSmurf!! No stream of quarters spent on Pac-Man.  The worst thing was that I always sucked at Pac-Man.  Mortal Kombat on the other hand...hehehe.   Did anyone else actually like the Buffy movie?   I just love saying "Kill him a lot" when people annoy me.  Me and my friend Todd (master of the B movies) were watching the Rick Moranis version of Little Shop of Horrors the other day.  Wow.   I didn't remember it being that bad!  Although Bill Murray's scene is great.   One more bad thing (not really a movie)  The Star Wars Holiday special.  Todd bought it for me & hubby for our birthdays.  It was sooooo bad.  I mean, wookie porn?!


----------



## Hypersmurf (Feb 18, 2004)

pjchik said:
			
		

> Did anyone else actually like the Buffy movie?




Kristy Swanson's Buffy (1992) is the only true Vampire Slayer.  All other Buffies are merely poor imitations of the real thing.

-Hyp.


----------



## reapersaurus (Feb 18, 2004)

Hypersmurf said:
			
		

> Kristy Swanson's Buffy (1992) is the only true Vampire Slayer.  All other Buffies are merely poor imitations of the real thing.



True dat.


----------



## Wereserpent (Feb 18, 2004)

s/LaSH said:
			
		

> Don't stop. Digimon is one of my favourite TV shows ever. Although I shouldn't mention it because I haven't actually seen the movie... (sob sob)
> 
> Ah, what the heck. Digimon is to Pokemon as Neon Genesis Evangelion is to one of those gameshows where they build battling robots. Season 3 was inutterably cool.(Even after that 'accident' with the MST3K movie.) Season 4, which I'm watching now, is getting cool too (about time we had some psychodrama...). It's interesting; no matter how a season of Digimon starts off, by the halfway point you're seeing the characters completely differently as they battle their personal demons and win... or lose and start over.
> 
> Man, I love that show.




I did not see your post till just now, but I agree with ya, Digimon rocks.  

What is this accident with the MST3K movie you speak of?

The first season still remains as one of my favorites ever.  The whole Myotismon story arc was just sheer coolness the whole way through.


----------



## Allanon (Feb 18, 2004)

Mortal Kombat is one of my guilty pleasures. I even own it on film. 
Army of Darkness is a good second, but then I've got a couple of friends who love it too. 
Dungeons and Dragons because I can do a spot on imitation of "Now, is you're time to *die*!!!".
Mars Attacks! Luv it


----------



## Grizpapa (Feb 19, 2004)

Bass Puppet said:
			
		

> Man, some of these movies should never see the light of day, but anyways, the bad movie that I like to watch are...
> 
> Krull
> Master of the Flying Guillotine
> ...




You can't be serious. 
Krull and Clash were cutting edge back in the day, good flicks.

And Venoms and Guillotine are classic Kung Fu movies.

Here's some of mine:
Bloodsport
Kickboxer
Legend (okay, just about anything with J C V D)

Gymkata (now there's and bad flick that I always end up watching if it's on)

Tremors (the movie)

Broken Arrow (Howie's the man)

The Phantom (two very beautiful women, Kristy Swanson - smokin' 
and C Z J - off the hook hot, before she lost her mind and 
married an 80 year old -- interrestingly enough after this movie their careers went in opposite directions)


----------



## Barendd Nobeard (Feb 23, 2004)

I rented and watched both *Tomb Raider* movies this weekend.  

And I enjoyed them.

I thought they would be really boring due to all the bad reviews, but I stayed awake until the very end.  I especially liked the first 1/2 of the first movie.  After the fight in the Cambodian temple, it all went downhill.  And I can't remember any fights in the second one, except for the last 20 minutes.  Oh, wait, there was that fight in the shopping mall weapons lab.  Drat!  I had completely blocked that out, but now I'm remembering it....

I'm almost tempted to buy the first one on DVD.  Almost.  But not quite bad enough (in that glorious "Plan 9 from Outer Space" way).

So that's my "bad movie confession" for this week.  Up next for my bad movie habit: "The Cell" and...uh....something else I rented but can't recall right this second.


----------



## Altalazar (Mar 17, 2004)

I really enjoyed Night of the Comet - but then maybe that is just nostalgia talking.  

Flash Gordon (1980) I have on DVD and it is just awesome - campy on purpose and a blast to watch.  I'm not embarrased to admit that one.  There are probably more but I will have to think about it...


----------



## VirgilCaine (Mar 18, 2004)

Grizpapa said:
			
		

> Gymkata (now there's and bad flick that I always end up watching if it's on)
> 
> Tremors (the movie)




I saw Gymkata--looks like they were trying to go for "ninja" without the ninjas...

Ditto Tremors. Love Tremors.



> 3) I do, however, own some really, really bad anime porn. One of which has a decent story that's ruined by the sex scenes.




You wanna see bad pornography?

Watch _Barbarella_. 
All the plot of a pornographic movie, without the sex. 
Now, given, there's some brief nudity, and some scanty clothing, but no _actual_ sex is shown. It's like ultra-softcore.



> Master of the Flying Guillotine




You would not believe how funny this movie is in Spanish.



> Hollywood is horribly amazing.




Hollywood is amazingly horrible.


----------



## morrolan (Mar 20, 2004)

What about the glory that is Cabin Boy?  I know there has to be some Fancy-Lads lurking about these boards.

Hmm that sounds worse than I imagined.

And I'll second Night of the Lepus.


----------



## Zerth (Mar 20, 2004)

_Ator_ also known as _Ator, the Fighting Eagle_ (1983). Just the best horrible barbarian movie ever.


----------



## FoxWander (Mar 21, 2004)

Ah, bad movies, my secret hobby- the guiltiest of guilty pleasures.

Sorry Hypersmurf and reapersaurus, the Buffy movie is a great bad movie (How could it NOT be with Paul Reuben's death scene that continued into the closing credits!) but the Buffy TV show is entertainment Brilliance on soooo many levels, there's just no comparison.

OMG- *Gymkata*! "Hear the only sound of axe cutting air." Can you actually rent this movie anywhere? I'd love to see it again.

Speaking of memorable quotes, it's lines like this that make *Tank Girl* a great bad movie... 
Bad Guy- "Come on. Say it, just say it. Just say I won." 
Tank Girl- "I won!" 
Bad Guy- "No, no! Say *I won*!" 
Tank Girl- "*I woooon!*" 
I won't mention her bit about how something is like the first time you get laid... you know, Eric's Grandma and all. Oh yeah, great lines make a great bad movie!

Man, alot of the best bad movies have already been mentioned so to add something new I'll put a vote in for *The Shadow*. It probably ranks as a bad movie because no one (except my wife) has ever mentioned liking it that I've talked to, but I like it. It was in the small collection of DVD's I took with me for my short tour in Korea. It's got the great scenes... Like when he says of course his men won't try to shoot around the hostage they've taken, then he tells them to shoot through him! Or the hotel that's been clouded from everyone's mind! The great lines... "Psychically, I'm very well endowed." And of course, Tim Curry. What more could you ask for.


----------

