# Forrester's Against the Elves Campaign



## Morrow (Jan 13, 2003)

*Forrester’s Against the Elves Campaign* 

*Chronicled by Morrow*



*Cast of Characters *

*Thar * (Goblin) Cleric of Maglibuyet 7
*Rhuun * (Goblin) Rogue 2, Fighter 3 – Thar’s cohort
*Atarax * (Goblin) Bard 7
*Krikara * (Darkcreeper) Rogue 5, Scout 1
*Foleful * (Xvart) Sorcerer 7
*Kriggle * (Kobald) Paladin of Kurtulmak 8




*What Has Gone Before* 

Some time ago the elves of the east, for unknown reasons, decided to invade lands traditionally held by the humanoid tribes. Among the humanoid communities that the elves mercilessly crushed was Old Blarkarg. Refugees from Old Blarkarg founded New Blarkarg, a hidden community of goblins and kobalds displaced by elven aggression. 

A group of the most skilled humanoids who found shelter in New Blarkarg banded together to protect their fellows and battle the elven menace. That group overcame many hardships- harrying elven patrols, raiding elven supply caravans, escaping elven ambushes. They were always on the run, always fighting and hiding and fighting again. Several of their number fell to the hated elves.

Eventually, guided by the goblin god Maglibuyet, the band of heroes found a route to escape to the Underdark. They lead more than two hundred goblin and kobald refugees across elven controlled territories to the cave leading to the Underdark. Along the way they defeated many elven forces, even managing to kill the elven commander, Aelielael.

Safe, at least for the moment, the heroes found a relatively safe place for the refugees of New Blarkarg to live while they looked for something better. Thus was founded Blarkarg Camp. The cleric of Maglibuyet, Thar, stayed to care for the people of Blarkarg Camp and advise their leaders. The other heroes of New Blarkarg journeyed further into the wilds of the Underdark in search of a better home for their people. That was three months ago.


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## Morrow (Jan 13, 2003)

*Against the Elves – Prologue*

The first vision was hazy. It wasn’t a vision at all really, just the feeling that had accompanied the previous visions from Maglibuyet, nothing more. The second vision, several days later, revealed the fuzzy outline of a humanoid. A goblin? It was impossible to tell. Thar could tell that it was hugely important that he understand. Then it cut off abruptly.

The third vision was crystal clear. A goblin - young, ten years old, maybe less. He wears rags around his torso and dried blood on his hands, feet, and knees. He’s covered with dirt and grime. His hands are callused – hard. He stares at Thar, or past him, with a blank expression. He is somewhere in the caverns south of the bugbear-run trade city of Gulg. Thar must find him.

Thar awoke abruptly. He immediately rolled off his pallet and began praying for his daily complement of spells. He would need help to do Maglibuyet’s will. He had only recently learned _sending_, a spell that would allow him to communicate with others far away.

The goblin cleric sent his first spell to Ive. Although a kobald, the necromancer was a kindred spirit. Thar felt the spell stretch away from him, and then abruptly cut off. Likely, that meant Ive was dead. 

Thar paused briefly to consider the implications of his companion’s death, and then cast another spell, this time targeting Krikara, the darkcreeper. Krikara had disapeared in the Underdark before the others had found the site of Blarkarg Camp. Again, the spell reached out, and again it was cut off. Krikara was dead as well? That was unexpected. The rogue had a respectable, almost goblin-like sense of self preservation.

Thar cast one more spell. He did not even consider contacting Hedkarakk, the orc barbarian. Instead he chose Atarax, the goblin bard. This time he felt the spell make a connection.

Maglubiyet has sent a vision. Leaving soon from Blarkarg camp. I need your help. Can you meet me in Gulg? If possible bring the others. 

Atarax’s reply, and sendings they exchanged the next day revealed that Atarax’s companions were dead. He was in Gulg, but no one else was being allowed in because the leaders of Gulg feared that the recent assassination of an important bugbear merchant named Smedley signaled that the drow were taking a renewed interest in Gulg. Atarax suggested that they meet in Freetown, a particularly rough humanoid community south of Gulg. The goblin that Thar sought may even be in Freetown.

Thar called for Filbin and Skip, his two most gifted acolytes. "I have received a vision from Maglibuyet. He has instructed me to search out a young goblin, somewhere south of Gulg."

Filbin grinned, "When do we leave boss?"

"You’ll have to stay here. Someone has to care for the people of Blarkarg Camp. While I’m gone, that someone is you. Fishbone is a good leader, but he needs the guidance of Maglibuyet." 

Thar gave Filbin and Skip instructions for his absence, and then dismissed them and called for Rhuun.

Rhuun came from a clan of goblins who had been slaves in the drow city of Sivenni for generations. Several months ago she had killed her master, stolen everything she could carry and escaped the city. Among the things she stole was a ring of sustenance, which sustained her with no food or water and very little sleep, allowing her to survive alone in the Underdark. She had wandered into Blarkarg camp a month ago, wounded and confused after an encounter with an Umber Hulk. 

In their time as slaves, Rhuun’s people had sustained themselves by cultivating a fierce faith in the goblin god, Maglibuyet. Rhuun was particularly fanatical. After she was healed, Rhuun had immediately pledged herself to Thar’s service. 

"Maglibuyet is sending us on a quest. We are leaving immediately. Prepare our things." 

Thar went to consult with Fishbone, the leader of the goblins of Blarkarg Camp. When he left Fishbone’s cave, carrying a bag of gold that Fishbone had given him, Rhuun was waiting. Wordlessly she handed over Thar’s pack and together they walked out of Blarkarg Camp.


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## Morrow (Jan 13, 2003)

*Against the Elves – Prologue*

Some time later Thar and Rhuun came to a broad pool of water, blocking the tunnel. They knew that the pool blocked the entrance to a system of caves which had until recently been the home of a tribe of goblins. Shortly before the people of Blarkarg came to the area the tribe had been attacked by slavers. The entire goblin tribe was killed or taken prisoner . The cave system would have made a perfect home for the people of Blarkarg, but they feared that the slavers would return.

The pool was too deep to safely wade across and was a perfect place for an ambush. In fact, Thar and Rhuun could see bits of flesh and bone strewn around the area and floating in the pool. Several months ago, Thar’s former companion, Hedkarakk, had run afoul of a group of ogre barbarians in this very spot. Unfortunately, to Thar’s way of thinking, his companions had been able to retrieve enough of Hedkarakk’s body to have the arrogant orc returned from the dead. However, Atarax reported that the orc had since met his final end.

The pair also found fresh spoor. Rhuun examined it carefully, stroking her prized throwing axe as she thought. Rhuun claimed that the fine weapon was dwarven make, but no one could explain how it might have gotten into the hands of the drow who she stole it from. Rhuun always wore the axe tucked prominently in her belt. "Ogres." She reported, "they’ve been here within the last day."

Thar was prepared to circumvent the pool. He cast spells turning both Rhuun and himself invisible. Then he cast a spell on Rhuun that made her able to walk on the air. Rhuun was very strong for a goblin, and was able to heft Thar onto her shoulders. She then walked, as if on stairs, up into the empty air, and then across the cavern, well above the pool. Thar regretted the undignified manner that he was forced to travel, but reflected that at least no one could see his unfortunate position. 

The two entered the cavern system formerly occupied by the goblin tribe. Rhuun still carried Thar on her shoulders, walking on air near the cavern ceiling. They explored the caves, wondering if it would be a safe place to camp for the night. Thar briefly considered animating some of the bodies left behind by the drow slavers, but decided that stealth, rather than numbers, would be the safer course on their journey to Freetown.

Soon the pair heard the sounds of voices talking in what sounded like the dialect of the giants. The two silently followed the voices and soon found themselves hanging in the air above a pair of ogres who seemed to have made themselves at home in the goblin caves. 

Thar, wishing to avoid conflict, tugged on Rhuun’s invisible sleeve. Rhuun, not knowing how to interpret this gesture began walking down toward the floor. Thar, aghast, stopped pulling on her sleeve. They couldn’t see each other, of course, and talking was dangerous so near the ogres. Rhuun, not knowing what Thar wanted, simply waited.

Thar finally, impatient, hissed. "Get us out of here!" 

One of the ogres immediately looked up and spoke. Thar did not speak Giant, but knew, that they had been heard. Rhuun continued to move quietly out of the cave. She must have made some small noise, because the ogres jumped to their feet and began moving toward the mouth of the cave. Rhuun took to her heels and, still carrying Thar across her shoulders, ran from the former goblin caves, soon leaving the ogres, who could not see what they were chasing, far behind.

A couple hours later the pair found a small cave to make camp. They ate, then Thar stood watch while Rhuun got a couple hours sleep, all she needed. Then Thar slept the rest of the night, with Rhuun watching over him.

The next days travel was entirely uneventful, and that night when it was Rhuun’s turn to stand watch she requested that Thar cast the air walk spell on her again so that she could practice the tricky business of walking on air. As Thar fell asleep Rhuun was walking up invisible stairs in the air over his head.

The next day Rhuun and Thar reached the first of two bugbear ‘toll booths’ on the way to Freetown and Gulg. The bugbears in the region had discovered that if they set up camp on a main thoroughfare through the Underdark, others would pay them to pass. This pastime, which promised substantial rewards for very little work, appealed to the bugbears.

Thar and Rhuun used their combination of _invisibility_ and _airwalk_ to avoid the bugbears. They discovered the bugbear camp in disarray. Several of the large, hairy humanoids were repairing a crude portcullis which normally blocked the way, and another was cowering in a corner, shuddering in fear. 

Listening to the bugbears talk, Thar and Rhuun discovered that a small band of drow had come this way. One of the band had killed many bugbears with fiery magic, and another had ripped the portcullis from its place with his bare hands.

Rhuun carried Thar over the heads of the bugbears, past the broken portcullis, and down the tunnel.

At the end of a long day, Thar and Rhuun once more camped safely, and after they had slept continued on their way.

Some time later the pair heard orcish voices coming toward them. Again they turned invisible and walked through the air over the head of their enemies. Thar, who spoke orcish, could understand the orcs complaining about the heavy tolls they had been forced to pay the bugbears outside of Gulg.



[Game Note: At this point Forrester started grumbling about the characters avoiding all the fights. We tried to explained that as goblins we weren’t inclined to fight larger, more numerous foes, but he would hear none of it. So as soon as the _invisibility_ spells and _airwalk_ wore off, we heard voices up ahead...]


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## Morrow (Jan 13, 2003)

*Against the Elves – Prologue*

Once more Thar and Rhuun heard voices ahead. The unmistakable tones of bugbears- from the noise Rhuun could tell that there were ten, maybe twelve of them. "Damn," muttered Thar. He was out of invisibility spells and the tunnel had been straight and unbranching for some time now. There was nowhere to go.

"No place to hide," remarked Rhuun.

Thar and Rhuun scampered back down the tunnel ahead of the bugbears. When they were far enough ahead, Thar began casting spells, _endurance_ for himself and several spells for Rhuun: _bull’s strength_, _endurance_, _magic vestment_ on her chain shirt, _greater magic weapon_ on her axe. If the bugbears wanted a fight, they would get one. Thar passed a pouch of fifty gold coins to Rhuun. Without much conviction he said, "Here, maybe we can convince them that’s all we have and avoid a fight."

Rhuun looked at him disbelieving, but accepted the pouch without a word.

By the time Thar was finished, the bugbears were nearly on top of them. Thar and Rhuun put their backs to the cavern wall. "Hello," called Thar.

"What’s this?" responded the largest bugbear as they came into sight. "What are goblins doing way out here?" The large bugbear didn’t say ‘goblins’ of course, he used the particular bugbear term for smaller humanoids. It could be translated as either food or slaves.

Thar bowed his head. "We’re refugees, from the… Ugh tribe. We’re going to Gulg." 

The bugbears surrounded the two goblins, pressing in close to see the ‘food’ that came into bugbear territory all alone. The largest bugbear, clearly the leader, stood in front of Rhuun, eyeing her, but continued to talk to Thar. "It costs gold to get into Gulg. Can you pay?" and after a brief pause he ran his finger along the shoulder of Rhuun’s fine chain shirt. "You are well equipped for refugees."

Inwardly Thar groaned. _Refugees? What was I thinking? I’ve gotten soft in the head living with the tribe. _

The largest bugbear reached down for Rhuun’s axe. Rhuun slapped his hand away. With Thar’s magic in effect Rhuun was very strong, perhaps stronger than the bugbear. He stepped back, surprised. His companions began reaching for their weapons. The began to grumble to one another, remarking that, "The food was getting uppity."

The bugbear locked eyes with Rhuun. "I’ll take that."

In an eye blink Rhuun’s weapons were in her hands. Her dagger darted forward, coming up below the bugbears chain shirt and burying itself deep into his gut. The bugbear’s eyes went wide and he doubled over with pain. That brought his head within Rhuun’s reach. She swung her axe in smooth arc. His head separated from his shoulders and fell to the ground, immediately followed by his body. 

The other bugbears gasped in unison. Rhuun gazed coldly at them. 

"You’re right. We’re not refugees."

The bugbears began slipping past the goblins and sidling down the tunnel. One, than another, than the whole group broke into a run. Rhuun gave Thar a toothy grin.

Thar blinked, swallowed, and took a deep breath. "Right. Let’s see to the body, shall we?"

A quick spell later and Thar discovered that the ring and chain shirt the bugbear wore were enchanted. Wordlessly he passed the ring to Rhuun, who placed it proudly on her thumb. They stripped the body and bundled the armor into Thar’s enchanted Haversack. A large sack, holding around 500 gold coins hung from the bugbear’s belt. "Here Rhuun, take this. We’ll use it to pay our way through the next checkpoint."


[Game note: Foleful’s player ran Rhuun for this session. When he rolled to hit with the axe he rolled not one, not two, but three 20s in succession. Immediately after that he rolled an 18 on Rhuun’s intimidate check, making her result a 24 before circumstance bonuses for the decapitation trick. That pretty much answered the question what a former goblin slave was going to do with a bunch of ranks in intimidate.]


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## Forrester (Jan 13, 2003)

*Re: Against the Elves – Prologue*



			
				Morrow said:
			
		

> *
> [Game Note: At this point Forrester started grumbling about the characters avoiding all the fights. We tried to explained that as goblins we weren’t inclined to fight larger, more numerous foes, but he would hear none of it. So as soon as the invisibility spells and airwalk wore off, we heard voices up ahead...] *




SOOO untrue! 

First of all, I started grumbling a bit before then, as I recall. Maybe around the portcullis. 

Second of all, Morrow makes it sound like I just *decided* to throw another group at them after their invisibility wore off, as opposed to leaving it up to the roll of a die. 

Very unfair. I mean, do I seem like the type of DM who would purposely throw an unwinnable, unescapable combat up against a party? Me?!

Not my fault I rolled a '1' after their invisibility wore off.

(That's my story and I'm sticking to it . . . )


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## Morrow (Jan 13, 2003)

*Against the Elves - Prologue*

An hour later the pair came to the great stone door guarded the last ‘toll booth’ before turning north toward Gulg or south toward Freetown. A moment later the great door slid upwards. The cavern walls blocked the sound of whatever contrivance was capable of lifting the great slab. "Bugbears built this?" asked Thar as they passed the doors and entered the antechamber beyond.

The antechamber was more or less square, with a ceiling stretching out of sight above them. The floor was damp and there were water stains on the walls. Did the bugbears have the means to flood the cavern? 

Thar heard the sound of spellcasting from somewhere above him and recognized a _zone of truth_ as it washed over him once, then twice. He easily resisted its effects, but knew that Rhuun likely had not. "Who are you?" called a voice from above.

"Thar, son of Ghorn, cleric of Maglubiyet. This is Rhuun."

"The other will speak for herself. Who are you?"

"I am Rhuun." She replied.

"Why do you come to Gulg?"

"We had heard that Gulg was a trade city." Replied Thar. "We came to trade, and to meet other goblins who are already here."

"Gulg is closed to outsiders. You may not enter there."

Thar nodded, it was as Atarax told him to expect. "Then we will go to Freetown and send word for our friends to come to us."

The voice seemed satisfied. "To pass you must pay. 250 gold each. Can you pay?"

Rhuun looked at Thar incredulously. He grimaced and shrugged. "We can pay."

A large bucket slowly descended from above, hanging from a large rope. Rhuun wordlessly filled it with gold and the two watched it raise out of sight.

They stood waiting for several minutes. Thar reflected that it might take some time for bugbears to count that much gold. Eventually the door at the other end of the cavern slid open and they pair could proceed. They passed through several more doors, but no one blocked their passage.

On the other side the pair met several goblins from Gulg. They spoke to two, Stevearg and Bobarg, and quickly learned that Atarax had become something of a celebrity in Gulg. "Oh, Atarax, everyone knows him."

The two also confirmed Atarax’s story that an important bugbear had been killed. Little effort was being made to find his killer or stop anyone from leaving Gulg, but no one was allowed to enter for fear that they were drow spies. Stevear and Bobarg advised that if Thar and Rhuun did enter Gulg, they should stay in goblintown and obey all the rules. Borga, leader of the bugbears was a stern ruler and harshly punished anyone who broke his rules. Thar thanked the two goblins, and he and Rhuun turned south toward Freetown.


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## jeffwik (Jan 16, 2003)

*The campaign continues*

Event One: Kriggle’s Big Adventure

	Kriggle, kobold paladin and champion of his tribe, returns from a routine patrol with his scout assistants Plikt and Krup.  The tribe is (sorry, was) a couple of hundred kobolds, plus a handful of domesticated giant lizards, et al, and dwelled in a small complex on the outer edges of a Hellmouth.  Its membership never needed to give the tribe a clever name (like “the Red Feather Tribe” or something) since it was the only kobold tribe in the area and people who weren’t kobolds in the tribe had no reason to refer to it.

	Like most humanoid tribes, it was ruled by a cleric… one able to cast Stone Shape.  The walls of stone (from Stone Shape as opposed to walls of stone from Wall of Stone), coupled with the small size of the passages and the ability of kobolds to squeeze through things, formed the nucleus of the tribe’s defense plans.

	Which plans failed utterly, sad to say.  Kriggle and his two assistants came home to find everyone else dead.  Day-old kobold corpses littered the tunnels, bearing clear bite and sword wounds.  The wall-of-stone defenses had been erected, but judging from the debris patterns, someone had burst out of them, not in.  Under one of the beds in a dormitory, Kriggle finds a four-year-old kobold girl, Karana, dead of a stab wound.

	Kriggle counts the bodies (which is tough, because he keeps losing count and has to start over, plus his two assistants are too busy weeping and rending their garments to provide much help) and finds that out of the 200 kobolds in the tribe, 195 are dead and present.  Kurt, Krepple, Karl, Karen, and Keith are missing… Krup tells Kriggle that those five were another patrol, and may still be alive somewhere.

	Kriggle swears vengeance to Kurtlemak, and exhorts Plikt and Krup to join him as they set out to find the fiends who killed the village.  Plikt and Krup are creeped out by Kriggle’s lack of concern for his tribe’s violent deaths.  Kriggle explains that he was an only child and an orphan, so he had no family among the dozens and dozens of dead kinsmen.  Plikt and Krup wonder if Kriggle is a sociopath.


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## jeffwik (Jan 16, 2003)

Event Two:  When Last We Left Our Heroes…

	Atarax and Foleful, only survivors of the horrible spider attack in the Hellmouth, return bloody and half-dead to Gulg.  There they lay low and lick their wounds.  They also learn that Smedley the Dealer, the merchant who had commissioned their group to venture into the Hellmouth and fetch back some spider venom sacs, Smedley of the odd and misshapen body, was dead.  Found dismembered in a panic room in his compound in Gulg, with resurrection-proofing poison in his veins and a sheet of paper with “D” on it pinned to his chest.  Rumors of D., the drow hit man, were running rampant.

	(Personally I’m hoping D. turns out to be one of those adamantium knights, the ones who replace parts of their bodies with prosthetics… it reminds me of Thomas Pynchon’s _V._, the titular character of which replaces her eyes, feet, teeth, and God knows what else with plastic prosthetics in an attempt to channel the Spirit of Modernity.)

So it was just as well that they had come back from that expedition with no venom sacs and two-thirds of their party dead.

	While Foleful bought a big hat and lay low, Atarax communicated (magically) with Thar, his comrade from a ways to the east.  What with the notorious murder, Gulg had been pretty much sealed up, and Thar wouldn’t be able to get in.  Ergo, after some thought, they decided to meet up in Freetown.  Foleful, who’d lived in Freetown seven weeks prior, suggested the residence of Doon, a troll who kept to himself and was less malicious than most trolls.  Foleful wasn’t too keen on meeting Thar, but Atarax rattled off a list of twenty or so former player-characters who died defending New Blarkarg and its people, and assured Foleful that Thar was good people.

	Once out of Gulg, Foleful used his divinatory powers to ascertain the situation in Freetown, and learned that the city was divided into rampant chaos on the one hand and tight-fisted tyrannical order on the other.  (So what better place than Freetown to meet Thar?)

	 Atarax and Foleful take Foleful’s secret way out of Gulg and into the Hellmouth (again) and start meandering through the Hellmouth towards Freetown.

	Then someone throws a pebble at Atarax’s head.  Foleful nearly panics, but it turns out it’s a strange little woman Atarax knew back in the day – Kirkara, the dark creeper rogue.  Krikara does not explain why she is walking moving sneaking traveling motating through the Hellmouth, but seems pleased surprised happy neutral excited to see Atarax again.  She cheerfully joining adding venturing the two, and the three of them move on through the Hellmouth.

	Kirkara takes a few minutes out to explain Dark Creeper monotheism to Foleful, whose secular humanoidist arguments are ill-equipped to refure actual theology.  It’s something he’ll have to think about.


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## jeffwik (Jan 16, 2003)

Event Three: The Obligatory Misunderstanding Fight

	Kirkara is, as is habit, sneaking sixty feet or so ahead of Atarax and Foleful.  From this vantage, she gets the drop on Kriggle, Plikt, and Krup, who are wandering through the Hellmouth looking for someone to punish for killing their village.  She doesn’t know what to make of three kobolds, one mounted on a giant lizard and wearing plate mail, so she signals for Foleful and Atarax to come up.  They do so, but get spotted.

	Picture it, then: an eighty-degree slope forty feet long.  At the top, the winding tunnel through which Krikara, Atarax, and Foleful came.  At the bottom, a wide chamber with several exits, and the kobolds.  

“Hello!” calls down Atarax.

Kriggle pulls out his lance, points it up at the interlopers, and shouts for them to face the wrath of Kurtlemak.  His voice is squeaky and echoes in his helmet.

	Foleful interprets this as an attack on him and his secular humanoidist beliefs, and fires a bolt of conjuring straight at Kriggle’s helmet.  This has the side effect of conjuring an earth-elemental stirge, which latches onto Kriggle’s exposed throat and distracts him.

	Krikara moves to sneak-attack.  Atarax tries to talk, some more, calm everyone down, maybe get _charming_ but the pesky kobolds make their Will saves.  They fire crossbows at Foleful, who summons a fire-elemental dire ape in their midst.

	The stirge dealt with, Kriggle charges up the slope and Foleful, stabbing him with his little kobold lance.  Due to the extreme steepness of the slope, however, it’s not a “charge” so much as a “climb laboriously up and then poke,” and Foleful reacts by sending his ape to swat at Krup, and summoning up a heap of sandbags to hide behind.

	Atarax tries his words, again, _suggests_ they all calm down, but those darn Will saves…

	Krikara moves in under cover of darkness and sneak-attacks Plikt, while the ape swats at Krup some more.  Kriggle _("Surrender to Kurtlemak!")_ pokes at Foleful again, who steps back and casts some defensive magic.  Atarax decides to go for a different spell, and blinds Kriggle with _glitterdust_.  Blinded, Kriggle is easily taken prisoner, and Krikara shoots Plikt again, then binds his wounds.  As for the dire ape and Krup… well, there’s not much of Krup left.

	And of course it all turns out to have been a misunderstanding: Atarax didn’t kill everyone in Kriggle’s tribe, Kriggle isn’t a witch-hunter sent to kill Foleful for his secular humanoidism, and Foleful didn’t summon a dire ape that ate one of Kriggle’s friends.  Actually, that last one is in fact the case, but boys will be boys.  Everyone gets kind of sheepish, except for Atarax, who has nothing to be sheepish about, and Krikara, who probably couldn’t be sheepish if she tried.


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## Morrow (Jan 18, 2003)

I love it!  I'm really sorry I missed this session.  It's a hilarious concept- a multi racial group of humanoids who are likely going to spend all of their time arguing about theology.  Thar is going to have to polish up his "polytheism is your friend," arguments for this crowd.  

Morrow


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## psychognome (Jan 18, 2003)

This must be the best Story Hour since Posy's Diary! Keep it up!


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## jeffwik (Jan 18, 2003)

Event Four: Trying to Sleep

After trudging through the Hellmouth on the way to Freetown, the party picked a random stretch of tunnel and bedded down for the night.  They split into three watches: Atarax and Kriggle, Krikara and Plikt, and Foleful and Mighty Steed (Kriggle’s giant lizard mount).  Each watch was to be four hours long, so all the spellcasters (that’s Kriggle, Atarax, and Foleful) will be refreshed.

Alas, it was not to be, for no sooner did Krikara, Plikt, and Foleful bed down in a shallow alcove than Atarax heard voices.  Voices speaking in Giant.  Voices speculating about the grinding of goblin-bones to make bread.  Understandably concerned, he peered down the tunnel behind them, looking out to the limits of his 60’ darkvision.

“Boarclopses!” he cried as they trundled into view, two ten-foot-tall green potbellied giant orc-monsters with but a single eye apiece.  They were nearly naked, clad only in filthy rags.  They bore massive spears and slightly smaller satchels, and they were definitely unfriendly.

Kriggle mounted Mighty Steed and readied his puny lance, while Atarax shook Krikara and Plikt.  Foleful rolled over in his blanket.  Atarax then shouted a slew of nonsense at the boarclopses, but his attempt to _confuse_ them was for naught (damn that chain shirt and its 10% spell failure chance and the chafing!).

The battle was joined as Kriggle charged on Mighty Steed, slamming into one of the monsters.  It bellowed with pain and stabbed at Kriggle, who laughed off its foolish attempts to penetrate his mighty kobold plate armor.  Foleful finally woke up, as Krikara crept darkly up the tunnel walls, seeking a clear shot with her deadly little bow.  Plikt, too, fired a volley into the boarclopses, with little visible effect.

To sum up, the party ground the boarclopses up like meat in a grinder, with Kriggle in front soaking up blows, and the rest of the group hanging back, pelting the monsters with spells and arrows.  One of the monsters was taken alive (stabilized at -9 or so) and Atarax demanded he be taken prisoner.  Atarax dreamed of charming him into fighting for the party.  The other boarclops was dismembered, and the party settled back into camp.

Krikara searched the boarclops bodies, and found that in addition to filth, the prisoner had a sack full of shiny rocks.  She accepted responsibility for the shiny rocks (which included a few uncut gems) -- after Atarax _charmed_ the prisoner, they could make a big deal out of how the *other* boarclops had robbed the prisoner, and the prisoner's new and dear friends were returning his shiny rock collection to him (minus a few unaccountably missing rocks, no doubt squandered by that *other* boarclops...).  She and Plikt then settled into watch, kicking the prisoner.

Except a couple of hours later three more boarclops came charging down the corridor, looking angry.  Everyone was still awake, though Foleful was lying down with his eyes closed.  Again, the monsters were heard before they were seen, and Atarax identified their bellows.

This time Foleful was conscious.  Quickly, the xvart summoner laid down a _web_ in the direct path of the creatures, allowing the rest of the party time to ready their bows and weapons.  As the boarclops burst through the web, they ran directly into the _glue_ Foleful had placed in front of it.  And then Foleful hit them with a _stinking cloud_.  Not happy, these boarclopses.  They bellowed in rage, for these were boarclopses with class levels, and broke through the _glue_, charging Kriggle and the water elemental dire wolf Foleful summoned. Aided again by missile fire and the encouraging, lilting tune Atarax sung (an epic about a goblinoid tribe’s slaughter of a purple worm, in which slaughter Atarax and Thar had participated) Kriggle and the summoned monster put the boarclopses down.

Roughly nine hours later, the party stepped over the pieces of boarclops and continued on their way.  The boarclops prisoner, Guk, was not _charmed_ by Atarax's honeyed tongue, and so the party killed it.  Krikara kept the rock collection.


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## jeffwik (Jan 18, 2003)

Event Five: The Hob-Goblins Went to Hell and Took It Over

A few hours later, Krikara was creeping darkly along and heard faintly the sounds of conversation coming from up ahead.  She alerted Atarax, who speaks a dozen languages.  Or possibly Atarax heard it first.

Either way, somewhere ahead were two people conversing in Aboveground Common, not to be confused with Undercommon.  The conversation went something like this.

FIRST VOICE: “Damn, I’ve tripped on another rock.  Tore out a seam on my trousers.”

SECOND VOICE: “I hate this place, all these rocks, and it’s like a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.”

FIRST VOICE: “It’s just like Mycon to get lost in someplace like this.  The bastard loves this kind of thing.”

SECOND VOICE:  “What, rocks and mazes?”

FIRST VOICE: “No, seeing me split my pants.  He probably set this up on purpose.”

SECOND VOICE: “Could be, could be.  Maybe he’s laughing at us right now, and in a minute will appear, with a picnic basket of fine wines and scented cheeses.”

FIRST VOICE:  “I hope so, I’m starving.  Have one of the porters send up a leg of elf.”

SECOND VOICE: “We’re out of elf, remember?  We ate it all last week.”

FIRST VOICE: “Damn, you’re right.  I’ll just eat a porter, then.”

SECOND VOICE: “No good.  We ate the porters the day before yesterday.”

FIRST VOICE: “I’m really getting tired of this.”

SECOND VOICE: “Crud!  I stepped in some guano.  These slippers are ruined.”

Which led to a hushed conversation along these lines.

ATARAX: “I *have* to meet these people! They’re raksashas!  I can tell, due to my cheaty bardic power of knowing things!”

KRIKARA: “When I was saying speaking suggesting you listen hear, I meant sneaking shushing avoiding secretly!”

EVERYONE ELSE: “No!”

ATARAX: “Aw, c’mon!  Everyone gets a free shot at putting the party in danger!  It’s my turn!”

EVERYONE ELSE: “…fine.  We’ll hide back here.  You go talk to them.”

ATARAX:  “Sure.  You hide, I’ll talk.”

Foleful summoned up an _arcane eye_ to watch over Atarax, and the goblin bard sauntered over to the tunnel (from the bottom of which the complaints about the gross décor of the Hellmouth emanated).

ATARAX:  “Hello down there!”

RAKSASHAS: “What?”

ATARAX:  “I said, hi!”

RAKSASHAS:  “Where are you?”

ATARAX:  “I’m here at the top of this tunnel!”

RAKSASHAS:  “Oh, I see.  Very clever.”  

ATARAX:  “So…”

RAKSASHAS:  “Won’t you come down, so we can talk?” 

ATARAX:  “We’re talking now.”

RAKSASHAS:  “Don’t try to be funny.  We’ll come up.”

The magnificently impressive raksashas levitated out of the tunnel, oozing culture and superiority and racial modifiers to Intimidate.

ATARAX:  “Cool.”

RAKSASHAS: “It’s not often you see a lone goblin.”

ATARAX:  “Oh, I’m not alone.  Guys?  Guys?”

EVERYONE ELSE IN THE PARTY: “D’oh!”

Everyone else in the party emerged from hiding.  Atarax introduced them all round, and explained to the raksashas that they were in a Hellmouth.  The raksashas claimed to have gotten sucked into an interdimensional vortex at their associate Mycon’s house.  Mycon, they feared, had fallen victim to the same vortex, and they were deeply concerned for him.

The raksashas eagerly accepted Atarax’s offering of most of the party’s food (they were extremely hungry) and found his “How We Killed A Purple Worm” song adequate.  Atarax then invited the demons to journey with the party to Freetown, which was quite nearby and in which news of Mycon might be found.  Else, the raksashas could journey on to Gulg, where surely information could be gathered.

The cat-demons were understandably reluctant to spend time with the party (and vice versa) but thanks to Atarax’s persistence and offerings of obeisance and food, they agreed to tag along for the last few hours of the trip.

It was only a little further to Freetown, where the party hopes to meet up with Thar and Rhuun.  Doon’s small compound was only a little ways into the city, and he was one of the few inhabitants of Freetown that was both nearly indestructible and not unkindly-disposed to Foleful, the only member of the party with contacts in Freetown.  After all, Doon was an artist who kept to himself.  And more importantly, a troll, of the claw-claw-bite-rend variety.  Why would anyone bother him?


NEXT: 101 Dead Troll Jokes


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## Morrow (Jan 20, 2003)

psychognome said:
			
		

> *This must be the best Story Hour since Posy's Diary! Keep it up!  *




Cool, our first fan.  Welcome psychognome!

Watch this space for more exciting humanoid action!  This Wednesday will be our first session with the whole party. Sparks are sure to fly when Thar, Krikara, and Foleful start discussing the nature of the gods.  

Forrester's also trying to get some of the other players to post here, so hopefully we'll have details about secular humanoidism, or darkcreeper diction soon.

Morrow


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## savaget (Jan 22, 2003)

*Kriggle's Day*

Kriggle rode nobley home on his Mighty Steed, only to find his entire village wiped out.  Ripped to shreds, torn to bits, stabbed, maimed, and other words Kriggle didn't know.  Kriggle really didn't know what to think.  He'd seen his fair share of dead bodies, (on the end of his lance thank Kurtulmak) so it was not the carnage that bothered him.  These were chosen he knew and was supposed to protect.  And now they were dead.  He didn't really have a huge affection for these people, they didn't have one for him (the dumb kobold in plate mail was a necessary spectacle) but he was there to protect them.  His claw tightened on his lance, biting back the anger and outrage.

Kriggle....

He stopped, rapt in attention to the voice that spoke to him.

Kriggle....  Now is not the time for tears.  You must ride to find the ones who did this.  Go forth my champion, and make them regret this death of my subjects.  

"Yes Kurtulmak, my lord."  He intoned softly.  He looked around, not so eager to leave before burying the dead and properly mourning, as was custom.  'Who thinks they can kill chosen like this!!!?  Who!?!?'

Kriggle....  There is no time for that.  You must ride, to avenge them.  These chosen are with me now.  You must go now.

Kriggle bowed his head, and pronounced benediction over the dead.  "Go to Kurtulmak, where the rabbits are plentiful, and know that you are giants in his eyes."  He sniffled, just a bit.

Calling to Plit and Krup, he conveyed the necessaries of Kurtulmak's message, and left, questing for vengeance.

*Kriggle traveled for a while, all the while stewing in his failure to protect the village, and at the same time bolstered by the confidence Kurtulmak had once again shown him.  It was then that he came across a roving band of three vagabonds*

Kriggle signaled for his two chosen to draw bows, and prepare for combat.  'These uglies might have killed the village!  Too few, but maybe more behind!'  

"Halt!  Identify yourself in the name of Kurtulmak!"  His proud voice echoed in sqeaky assertion throughout his helmet and the cavern.  Destroying the perfect nobility of the moment, one of the uglies (in a silly hat) threw something at him, smashing his armor and filling his vision with light.  But Kriggle was not done so easily.  If they thought they could defeat the Divine Champion of Kurtulmak, Kriggle the Great so easily, they were mistaken!  Kneeing his Mighty Steed, he charged up the cavern wall at the ugly.  His faithful cohorts fired aroows up at the Wizard, injuring him.  The evil ugly chanted again, and suddenly Kriggle felt the hellish fires of some creature behind him.  Ignoring the demon (the Wizard was right before him!) he charged ahead, ignoring the blows from behind that glanced off of his armor.   He struck the nasty wizard a harsh blow of justice, sending him reeling.  In the force of the blow, Kriggle noticed something horrible.  The ugly was blue!!!  Anyone worth their horns is red after all, or at least pink out of jealousy, but to be attacked by a blue Wizard was too much.

The other ugly, a goblin, was waving his hands shouting "Let's stop this!  No fighting!  Stop now!  I want peace!"  (It was a lot more eloquent than that Ryan, sorry I'm not doing atarax justice)  Kriggle noted the Goblin's wish not to die at Kriggle's hands.  Clearly a wise Goblin, or at least an honorable one, wanting to apologize for his blue Wizard.  He paused, with his lance pointed threateningly at the Wizard.  "Do anything and I'll finish you off!"

He did something.

Moving away, the blue ugly provoked Kriggle, who smote him a blow of retribution that wounded him deeply.  Just as the Wizard was to fall to Kriggle's divine might, the goblin chanted and threw something.  

Kriggle was blind.  So was Mighty Steed!  The two bucked and turned, but could not see.  After the Goblin apologized for the Wizard, Kriggle decided not to fight.

Kriggle...  Go with these uglies.  They may take you to the killers.

So Kriggle decided to go with them.  After blessing the dead body of Krup (torn to death by the infernal creature!!) and helping up Plit (who had suffered from a mysterious arrow wound - but nobody knows who shot that, right Emily?) he set off with the uglies.

***********************

There was more to the last session, but I was just filling in the days events from Kriggle's point of view.  The ones that I think were misunderstood.   

Oh yes.  Kurtulmak's vocie is an audio illusion.  It's not really there.  He's a wubbit crazy, but don't tell the party that.


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## Gez (Jan 22, 2003)

That story hour is just too fun to miss ! And I like the way the Darkcreeper (her name's Krikara or Kirkara ?) speak. Make me want to place some darkcreeper somewhere IMC. Fortunately I have the Tome of Horrors.


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## Morrow (Jan 23, 2003)

Gez said:
			
		

> *That story hour is just too fun to miss ! And I like the way the Darkcreeper (her name's Krikara or Kirkara ?) speak. Make me want to place some darkcreeper somewhere IMC. Fortunately I have the Tome of Horrors. *




Thanks Gez!  We're certainly having fun playing, and writing about, the game.

I'm 99% sure that the darkcreeper's name is spelled Krikara.  That is certainly how its pronounced.

Game night was Wednesday night, so expect another write-up to start soon, hopefully tonight.  Thar and Rhuun finally met up with the rest of our intrepid heroes, the humanoids managed to antagonize nearly everyone they met, and they all bonded during a knock-down drag-out fight against a nearly unstoppable foe.  


Morrow


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## LostSoul (Jan 24, 2003)

This is pretty cool...


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## Forrester (Jan 24, 2003)

Oh, this is just a warm-up. Things are about to get VERY interesting . 

The session next week and the week thereafter should result in the wetting of some humanoid pants. Or I'm just not doing my job . . .


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## Morrow (Jan 24, 2003)

Of course those pants may be wet with blood.  "Look, its bigger, meaner, and more powerful than we are.  Let's kill it!" does not seem to be a tactic that is going to get us very far in the long run.

Sorry, no update today.  I overestimated the free time I was gong to have this week.  The next update should be up in a couple days.

I'll leave you with a few of Thar's rules for living:

*If in doubt, run.
*Loot the bodies before the Darkcreeper gets to them.
*The only thing better than a dead enemy is a dead enemy you animate as a zombie.


Morrow


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## Gez (Jan 27, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *
> If in doubt, run.
> Loot the bodies before the Darkcreeper gets to them.
> The only thing better than a dead enemy is a dead enemy you animate as a zombie.
> *




I like the 3rd. I knew a variant of the 1st ("if in doubt, hit again") that was a bit more "orcish".


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## Morrow (Jan 27, 2003)

*Against the Elves Session 2*

*Session 2
1st of Charder (the month of servitude).*

A day after passing the final toll booth, Thar and Rhunn entered Freetown.  They entered the cavern system invisibly and quickly discovered several dead kobalds being feasted on by strange, fast moving creatures who appeared to be kobalds with rat-like snouts and sharp claws.  The goblins, disconcerted by these fast moving predators, snuck past them and moved deeper into Freetown.

At nearly the same time Atarax, Krikara, and their companions, including the pair of cat-demons, Solon and Curuscan, were approaching Freetown from another direction.  Krikara ,who was scouting well ahead of the others, heard an approaching goblin patrol.  She silently moved back to warn the others.  In the blink of an eye the cat-demons turned into a pair of fiendish looking bugbears.  The patrol of four goblins quickly came within sight of the party.

“Halt!” cried one of the goblins.

“Halt!” cried Atarax.  He hoped for peaceful meeting with the goblins, but his companions weren’t so sure. Krikara had already disappeared somewhere and Kriggle loudly began casting a spell.

“Identify yourself,” demanded the goblins.

The ‘bugbears’ weren’t about to let a group of goblins delay them.  “Out of our way, food!” cried one.  They then looked expectantly at their new lackeys to resolve the situation.

Atarax attempted to smooth things over with the goblin patrol, “I am Atarax, a traveling minstrel.”

The goblins demanded to know who the others were, and Foleful, who had spent time in Freetown before, demanded to know when they had started sending out patrols.  Again Atarax attempted to answer the patrols questions, but it was not to be.  Everyone was taking at once when Krikara had decided to take matters into her own hands.  An arrow sailed out of the darkness, grazing the first goblin. Artax, apparently giving up on negotiation, attempted to cast a spell, but was hampered by his armor.

The goblin patrol turned to run, and the party followed.  Krikara, aided by her _slippers of spider climb_ scampered along the wall of the tunnel.  

Foleful cast a spell, summoning _solid fog_ around the patrol.  The thick magical cloud slowed the goblins run to a crawl.  Kriggle attempted to fire an arrow at the goblin patrol, but it stopped and hung suspended a few inches into the cloud’s surface.  Foleful continued to cast spells, summoning one and then another water elemental dire wolf into the cloud, in front of the patrol.

The party could see nothing through the cloud, but could here the wet snarls of the wolves.  Atarax cast another spell to create a _web_ further down the tunnel beyond the fog.  Foleful sent his familiar, a small air elemental to scout inside the cloud.  Through his connection with the elemental Foleful watched the last goblin fighting a rearguard action against the two summoned wolves, and eventually tear through the web and escape.  The party waited dejectedly for the fog to disperse under the  disapproving gaze of their cat-demon ‘companions.’


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## Morrow (Jan 28, 2003)

After some searching Thar and Rhunn found the cave of Doon, the troll sculptor.  They had just reached to door when a figure came up behind them in the darkness.  It was Krikara.

“Krikara!” cried Thar, “I thought you were dead.” The rest of the party, hearing the joyful reunion came forward.  

Thar greeted Atarax warmly, and was taken aback to discover that the party was traveling with bugbears.  He was even more surprised when the pair shifted back to their natural form: regal looking humanoid tigers with backward facing palms, wearing fine clothing.  Thar quickly looked for an escape route, but with the cat-demons in front of him and a troll cave behind him, he was forced to stand his ground.

Thar and Rhuun were then introduced to Kriggle, Foleful, and Plikt.  “A pleasure meeting you,” Thar said, then paused for a moment to examine the Xvart, somewhat taken aback.  “Pleased.”

“I am Kriggle of Kurtlmak.  Do you know of my tribe?”  asked the kobald.  Thar explained that Kriggle was the first kobald he had encountered since leaving Blarkarg Camp, with the exception of several dead kobalds being eaten by rat-creatures on the outskirts of Freetown.  Kriggle was in favor of investigating immediately and Atarax was particularly interested in Thar’s report of the rat-creatures’ speed.

“How fast were they?”  asked Atarax.

“Fast enough to run me down and tear my throat out,” replied Thar sardonically.

The topic quickly shifted to why Thar had contacted Atarax.  He began to explain about his vision from Maglibuyet, and then remembered that he was speaking in front of the cat-demons.  When Solon and Curuscan pressed him for details, he played down the importance of the vision and turned the conversation toward Doon, the troll sculptor.

Foleful took the initiative and knocked on the great stone door. A tall well-built troll wearing a smock soon emerged.  Doon greeted Foleful warmly.  It was impossible to miss the glint of intelligence in the troll’s eye.  Introductions were barely complete when Solon and Curuscan pushed past Doon, down a long tunnel and into a large cave with a stream running through one end.  They claimed airily that they were there to view his sculpture.  Doon was flattered by their inquiries and explained that he did, “Occasionally put chisel to stone.”  

Over a dozen sculptures were dotted around the room, in various stages of completion, were scattered around the cavern.  As the troll lead them from one work to another everyone was amazed by his skill.  Coming from any other sculptor the pieces would be considered excellent, but for a troll they were fantastic.

“I call this one Black _Pudding Eating a Kitten_.  And this one is _Claw, Claw, Rend_.”  Doon smirked at his own cleverness as he displayed _I Left My Heart in South Sivenni, but Then I Grew a New One_.

Doon agreed to let the party stay for the night.  However, being something of a hermit, he could not recommend a suitable place for the Solon and Curuscan to stay in Freetown.  The glances he threw Foleful's way made it quite clear he was not happy to have such dangerous and unpredictable creatures in his home.

The party shared a meal of bugbear stew, and Atarax entertained the group with a story.  Thar had never heard the tale of the party’s mad dash across Ghenna in search of sulfur for spell components, and both he and the cat-demons were surprised both by Atarax’s storytelling abilities, and by the great deeds that he described.

During the evening Thar was able to learn more about the group’s relationship with Solon and Curuscan, and was distressed but not at all surprised to discover that the creatures intended to force the party to serve them while they set-up a suitable residence in Freetown.  Thar cringed at the passing mention of  foot massages  

The party still set watches during the night, and Thar was distressed to discover that one of the cat-demons was always awake, quashing his hopes for escape.


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## Morrow (Jan 28, 2003)

*2nd of Charder (the month of servitude)*

The next morning the group shared another meal of stew, and Doon began to usher them toward the door.  The cat-demons wanted to stay and look at the sculpture, letting the party go on ahead.  Thar supported the idea enthusiastically, seeing a means to escape the clutches of the demons.  “Sounds great, let’s go,” he exclaimed and allowed Solon usher him down the tunnel and toward the door beside the other humanoids.  

Atarax, however, was more perceptive. He whispered to Thar, “They’re going to kill him.”  

Thar shrugged as Atarax asked Solon, “Why don’t you come with us and look at some of the available residences.”  As Solon explained his intention to stay the group could hear Doon telling the other cat-demon, Curuscan that he would have to leave.

The group had reached the door, and Thar thought his escape was at hand when Atarax cast a spell.

"I suggest you don't hurt the troll." 

Even before Atarax realized his spell had failed Kriggle and Foleful began casting spells of their own.  Kriggle’s _bless weapon_  was successful, but Foleful’s summoning failed.  Kriggle, spurred Mighty Steed into a charge, _smiting_ Solon.  The newnewly blessed lance sank deep into the creature’s side and brutally ripped free.

The rest of the party sprang into action.  Thar cast a spell on Kriggle, increasing his strength considerable.  Krikara, hidden somewhere in the shadows, fired an arrow at Solon with minimal effect.  Atarax unlimbered his _horn of good_ and blew it, creating an enchanted area which protected the party from the creatures like the cat-demons, but also hampered Foleful’s attempts to summon creatures.  Solon turned and fled down the tunnel, back toward the cave.

Thar immediately advocated fleeing.  “Can anyone magically lock this door?”

“But they’ll kill Doon,” objected Atarax.

“Oh, the troll.  I keep thinking about me.”

Kriggle decided the issue by spuring Mighty Steed into action, charging down the tunnel and skewering the fleeing Solon on his lance.  The cat-demon's lifeless body dropped to the ground as Kriggle continued on into the cave.  Thar sighed and called out a_prayer_ to Maglibuyet, increasing his companions’ battle prowess.  

Thar heard Foleful casting somewhere off to his right as he moved back into Doon’s cave.  He saw Curuscan flying into the air, sailing out of Doon's reach.  “Kriggle, get over here!”  

Thar cast a spell on Mighty Steed, explaining that it would allow the steed to walk on air.  Kriggle grinned and directed the lizard to climb into empty air above Thar’s head. 

Krikara entered the cave, scampering halfway up the wall.  A sphere of darkness bloomed, hiding the darkcreeper.  Atarax ran into the cave with Plikt at his heels.  "I suggest you come down here." 

Curuscan responded by calling up a great ball of fire around Atarax and Kriggle.  Thar and Foleful were able to escape the full brunt of the blast, but Plikt was not so lucky.  Thar saw the kobald laying very still on the cavern floor.

Foleful was able to maintain concentration on his latest spell in spite of the _fireball_.  Five earth elemental stirges popped into existence around Curuscan and began pecking ineffectually at the cat-demon’s skin. 

Curuscan called forth _glitterdust_ around Kriggle, who was able to escape being blinded by the clinging, glittering cloud.  Atarax cast another spell to create confusion in the cat-demon’s mind,  but the spell only succeeded in driving the stirges into a frenzy.  They ignored the cat-demon and tore each other to pieces.

Curuscan called up more glitterdust around Kriggle, which the kobald again resisted.  “Oh excrement,” his squeaky voice echoed forth, “I hate it when they do this.”  

Kriggle attempted to charge, but the faster moving cat-demon merely flew beneath Mighty Steed, forcing lizard and rider to laboriously climb down through the air attempting to once more line themselves up to charge.

Thar, tired of waiting for Kriggle to move into position, cast a _dispel magic_ on the cat-demon, and watched the creature drop thirty feet to the cavern floor.  Rhuun was ready, stabbing at Curuscan as he lept to his feet, but her blades could not pierce his natural protection.  Doon attempted to grapple the cat-demon, but was unable to maintain a hold as Curuscan once more flew into the air, positioning himself beneath Kriggle and Mighty Steed.

Atarax takes a moment to cast _cure light wounds_ on himself, and Thar does the same for Plikt, bringing the kobald back to consciousness.  At the same time Foleful summoned a cloud of _solid fog_ into being, filling the entire upper half of the cave, from the roof to just above Kriggle’s head.

Kriggle managed to maneuver himself into position to attack.  Curuscan cast another glitterdust on the kobald paladin, who resisted the spell and charged the cat-demon, sorely wounding him.

As Thar watched the confrontation between the demon and the paladin, a sly smile creeps across his face.  He had no more spells that could turn the tide of the  battle, but had one more card to play.  He kneeled over the Solon's body slipped a small black gem between the cat-demon's already cooling lips, and intoned a spell.    In mere moments the cat-demon’s body twitched, and it laboriously lifted itself to its feet.

Curuscan, caught between the enchanted fog above, and the claws of the troll below finally decided that discretion was the better part of valor.  He turned to fly out of the cavern and down the tunnel toward the exit from Doon’s home.

Thar watched Curuscan fly toward him, and saw the cat-demon’s eyes go wide as it saw Solon's body, turned into a shambling zombie.  Thar’s smile grew wider as he spoke to the zombie, more than loud enough for Curuscan to hear.

“I’d like a foot massage.”

Curuscan's expression promised death as he lpassed over Thar's head, flying down the tunnel toward the still-open door of Doon’s cave.  Then his form was obscured by the cloud of _solid fog_ that Foleful summoned around him.

Even as Foleful began to summon a fire elemental dire bat to pursue the cat-demon, Thar turned and healed the xvarts injuries with a _cure moderate wounds_ spell.  The spells were hardly complete when another _fireball_ exploded around them.  Thar fell, his skin blistering and clothing smoking.  He looked over to see the still, unmoving bodies of Plikt and the recently created zombie.  

Thar shakily climbed to his feet as Kriggle charged through the air and disappeared into the fog, closely followed by Krikara.  The rest of the group waited a few moments, but still hearing the sounds of combat, they all charged into the cloud, leaving Thar alone.  

Thar could hear the sound of Kriggle’s battle cries, and the trollish snarls as Doon ripped himself through the fog.  He listened to the battle beyond the fog as he examined Plikt’s body, confirming that the loyal kobald was dead.  Then he turned to the body of the cat-demon, and after a quick spell began stripping the body of valuables and magical objects.  

By the time the fog dissipated and his companions returned, reporting Curuscan's escape, Thar was sitting with his back to one of Doon’s sculptures, contemplating what the cat-demon would do to him given the opportunity.


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## Morrow (Jan 28, 2003)

I look over this and realize that some characters didn't get much 'screen time' this week.  In particular, I didn't manage to work in a single quote from Krikara.  Admitedly, she spent most of the session sneaking around and shooting things from the shadows, (or really from the globes of darkness) but its still a shame.  Oh well, its something to work on for next time.

Morrow


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## Morrow (Jan 30, 2003)

It has been brought to my attention that there is no 'a' in kobold.  Oops.  At least I'm consistent.  

Session 3 coming soon.  The party manages to make it through an entire session without killing *anyone*.

Morrow


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## Morrow (Feb 1, 2003)

*Against the Elves session 3*

It had been a long day.  The party had attempted to rest after their battle with the cat-demons, but they were in constant fear that Curuscan would return.  It had taken considerable magical power to heal all of their wounds and they were all exhausted.  Foleful and Atarax had spent much of the day attempting to identify magical objects taken from the body of Solon, the dead cat-demon.  Thar had cast a _divination_ to determine the location of the young goblin he had been sent to find, but strangely received no answer at all.

It was the second watch of the night.  Krikara and Rhuun kept watch over their sleeping companions.  They had started to become confident that Curuscan would not return when the peace of the night was shattered.  With a grinding of stone against stone a pit opened up beneath Krikara.  She fell down, twisting her body to land safely in a large cavern below.  

Krikara was horrified to realize that she had fallen on a massive pile of rats.  In fact the entire cavern was full of rats squeaking, and crawling over each other.  Krikara ducked and weaved as the rats snapped at her with their tiny teeth.

Across the cavern Foleful, who had been awake but lying silently on the stone floor, suddenly felt himself slipping into the stone, as if into a sinkhole.  He began to thrash about attempting to gain purchase on the stangely sinking stone.  He called out for his familiar, the small air elemental which often carried him about, even holding his body in lifting air currents as he slept.  “Elemental where are you?”

“I’m right here, boss,” said Elemental’s voice in his mind.  Foleful looked around, but everything was going dim around him and his darkvision was unable to penetrate the gloom.

Rhuun was completely mystified.  She had been keeping watch next to Krikara when the darkcreeper suddenly sprang to her feet, cried out in alarm, and began jumping and tumbling wildly.  At the same time Foleful, the strange xvart sorcerer, had began crying out and thrashing about atop his strange elemental companion who carried him even while he slept.

Rhuun sprung aside and cried out, waking the others, as Krikara slashed wildly at her with her sword.  Krikara, thinking she was striking a rat, was in fact attempting to kill her goblin companion.  Rhuun snatched up the rapier that Thar had claimed for her from the body of the cat-demon, and wielding it in both hands, tried to run Krikara through.  However, the agile darkcreeper avoided her blow.

Thar sat up and saw the strange behavior of his companions.  He attempted to calm Doon, who angered at being woken up, stormed out of the small side cavern where he slept and began threatening to expel the companions from his cave then and there.  Thar then instructed Rhuun to leave Krikara and check the door to see if anyone had gotten in during the night.

Atarax began to sing, attempting to _inspire confidence_ in his deluded companions and help them shake off whatever was influencing their mind.  When his singing failed to have any effect Atarax, in exasperation, threw a rope toward Krikara, who has jumping up and yelling for a rope to pull her out of the cavern full of rats.  Atarax’s throw went wide, and Krikara did not even acknowledge it.

Casting about for a solution, Thar cast _remove fear_ on Krikara and Foleful.  When that had no apparent effect, he ran up to Foleful and started shaking him, “You’re hallucinating!”

“What are you talking about?” replied the xvart.  “Are you charmed?”  From his perspective Thar was repeatedly pulling him out of the hole, then pushing him back in.

“No, you’re hallucinating.  Can’t you see Krikara?”  Thar pointed to where Krikara was lying on her back, pumping her legs as if attempting to run up a wall that wasn’t there.  Foleful claimed he could barely see Thar.  All attempts to talk sense into him were fruitless as he began raving about Thar and his evil cleric allies tampering with his mind.

At that moment Thar looked toward the other end of the cave and noticed a small, glittering object, spinning in mid-air.  He pointed to it, “Look everybody!” and seeing Rhuun return from checking the door, “Rhuun, get that thing!”  

Rhuun saw the object, but could not reach it before Atarax summoned a cloud of _glitterdust_ around the area.  However, the spell revealed no invisible enemies, and hid the object in a cloud of glittering motes.  

At the same time Krikara and Foleful finally succeeded in throwing off the effects of the hallucinations that plagued them.  The party approached the object, and Atarax and Foleful examined it, offering their opinion that it was not an object at all, but a small portal to another plane of existence.  They were so excited by their theory that they barely noticed when the portal winked out.  Atarax theorized that if the portal lead to a plane of chaos, its very presence could explain the confusion that Foleful and Thar had suffered.  

While the others asked Doon if he had observed such a phenomenon before, Foleful was being soundly chastised by Elemental.  “What’s going on boss?  I was right here.  I carry you around all day and you were yelling at me!”

Doon explained that he suffered similar confusion once.  He had been nearby, gathering some special mushrooms, when he had become very interested in his shin.  He had stood there examining his shin for quite some time.  Doon, proudly pointed the companions toward the sculpture, “Musings on My Shin,” which had been the result of the study.  Doon assured the group that his sudden interest in his shin could have only come from a similar phenomenon to what they had just witnessed, and there was no chance whatsoever that it had been caused by the influence of his special mushrooms.

No one noticed that Krikara had silently slipped away.  Somewhere out of earshot she huddled on the ground, crying quietly.


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## jeffwik (Feb 1, 2003)

*Bit of dialogue Morrow left out*

Conversation between Krikara and Foleful, just before first watch.  Started out with Thar and Foleful asking Krikara where she'd been and what she'd been doing, and Krikara dodging the question by talking about her quest to find a shiny buckler and sacrifice it.  Which caused Thar to wander off, shaking his goblin head, while Foleful pursued this "quest" of hers.

Krikara explained that hers was a holy calling: to honor the Great Darkness by sacrificing magic items.

Foleful had heard Krikara's bizarre monotheism before, with its notion that Kurtulmak and Grummsh and Kaldecki and all were nothing more than masks worn by the Great Darkness.  He inquired further -- why sacrifice?

Krikara explained that In The Beginning, there had been the Great Darkness.  Alone, in the dark.  Not much fun.  So the Great Darkness invented stealth.  Which was easy, since all there was, was the Great Darkness.  So *then* the Great Darkness created the universe, and all its peoples, so there would be people to be stealthy and something to be stealthy in.  And it was good.

_Was it?_ mused Foleful, quietly to himself.  More loudly, he agreed that someone had to create the universe.  The xvart Secular Humanoidists call the god who did so Eoer-Stepper, Xvartish for _"He Who is Tall Enough to Stand on the Universe."_  They don't worship Eoer-Stepper though; what would be the point?  What has he done for us lately?


But then, _Krikara continued as if no one had interrupted her,_ someone developed magic, and it was supercool.  Everybody started wandering around casting spells and making magic items.  And then someone -- some elf, probably, interjected Thar, who had heard this story before -- then someone invented the most powerful and horrible magic item of all: the sun.

The sun displeased the Great Darkness, and the Great Darkness cursed all the peoples by making them small and inoffensive and helpless _(like dark creepers and goblins and kobolds and xvarts and so forth)_ and life generally sucked.  Plus there's all the sunlight on the surface now, which makes stealth all the harder.

Ever since then, dark creepers have honored the Great Darkness by chucking magic items down deep holes, at the bottom of which _(according to Dark Creeper Lore) _the Great Darkness consumes them.

Thar recounted a few stories of Krikara throwing magic items down holes.

But, _asked Foleful, _even accepting that the Great Darkness and Eoer-Stepper are one and the same, why honor the creator?  Why would the Great Darkness, if It is as great as you say, care?

The Great Darkness is deep, _Krikara responded._  It is good to honor the Great Darkness, and such action pleases It.

_But *is it good because God is pleased, or is God pleased because it's good?*_ pursued Foleful, little realizing he was setting his feet down the path of Socratic reasoning, which would eventually change Secular Humanoidism forever.  Sadly, no one except Foleful thought it was a question worth answering.


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## Gez (Feb 2, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *It has been brought to my attention that there is no 'a' in kobold.  Oops.  At least I'm consistent.  *




Don't worry too much about that typo. It used to upset me, but I'm more tolerant to it now that I know...

*drum roll*

..._ the *secret origin* of the word "*kobold*"!!!_

Actually, I don't know precisely what it is, but that roughly means something about the fact mythological kobolds are the Keepers of the Burried Treasures. You know, they were those sprites who would leave clues to vein of rich ore if the miners were friendly to them (i.e., leaving them offerings), but that would provoke cave-ins and firedamps otherwise.

And this name has the same origin as an eerie, strange metal found underground, a _blue_ metal; the *cobalt*.

That's right, kobolds and cobalts are linguistically brothers. This would give credency to the dragonblood theory, kobolds descending from cobalt dragons.




Edit
PS: Forrester, here's a thread for you !


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## Forrester (Feb 6, 2003)

*Teaser . . .*

What do you get when you cross suspicious tainted mind-altering mushrooms, Zorn worship, an aerial boarclops, and a full frontal assault on an insanely skilled bugbear slaver Master of Chains? 

You get yesterday's session, that's what you get. 

I might give this one a shot at a write-up . . . but Morrow is going to have to post the rest of last session first .


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## jeffwik (Feb 6, 2003)

*And questions!*

Foleful asked lots and lots of questions.  What is good?  What is law?  What is evil?  What is knowledge?  What is virtue?  What is truth?  Are you sure you can trust your senses?  What if there was some, I don't know, *evil genius* able to fool you?


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## Morrow (Feb 6, 2003)

Foleful has developed a talent for annoying people into submission with his questions.  If he could do it in combat we'd be unstoppable.  I tend to gloss over his conversations in my write ups because they make my poor little goblin head hurt something fierce.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Feb 6, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *Foleful has developed a talent for annoying people into submission with his questions.  If he could do it in combat we'd be unstoppable.  I tend to gloss over his conversations in my write ups because they make my poor little goblin head hurt something fierce.
> Morrow *




I wouldn't worry about it too much -- I think we can trust Foleful to post on his own on the subject. 

I do think you should make sure to get some Krikara quotes in the next session report -- if need be, ask her for some, because she had quite a few good ones. Damn Dark Creeper language. Sooo tough to get a handle on. 

And Foleful -- you'd better watch it. Your big blue freakish head is going to explode. I mean, how many different philosphers and philosophies do you have crammed in there? 

H'm. On second thought, I don't think I want to know . . .


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

*3rd of Charder*

In the morning the companions moved on, leaving Doon to work on his newest sculpture, “One Cat, Two Cat, Dead Cat, Chewed Cat.”

Foleful lead the party through the maze of tunnels to the center of Freetown.  They made their way through the huge central cavern past several goblin caves to Freetown’s only tavern, the Hole.  It took Atarax a few minutes to convince Kriggle that he should leave Mighty Steed outside.  When the party entered all the bar patrons turned, saw a kobold in full plate armor and carrying a lance entering the establishment, and broke out laughing.  The party breathed a sigh of relief when Kriggle mastered his anger, somehow convincing himself that everyone was laughing at someone else.  

The party elbowed their way to the bar, looking over the orc bartender, the orc and ogre bouncers, and clientele made up primarily of orcs and goblins, but including at least one bugbear.  The party ordered beer and mushroom sandwiches, the house specialty.  No one noticed that Krikara had disappeared somewhere.

Foleful approached one of the waitresses, “Zargentia.  How’re tricks?  

Zargentia looked Foleful up and down, “You’re still alive.  I won the pool.”

Foleful began quizzing Zargentia about local happenings since he had last been in Freetown.  She explained that the former owner of the bar, Belko, had been killed some time ago in the orcish part of Freetown and the Hole was now run by the bartender, Pankwig.

At the same time Pankwig was striking up a conversation with Atarax, “You know how to play that thing?”  He indicated Atarax’s lute.  “Nobody to play around here, with all the death and destruction."  Pankwig described strange happenings in Freetown; people being eaten by strange creatures, people going mad and killing each other, and people turning into rat creatures.  Many goblins had taken refuge in Sanctuary, a closed section of Freetown controlled by a strange orcish monk named Zorn.  During the recent civil wars in Freetown, Zorn had taken more than a hundred goblin and orcs and founded Sanctuary.  He controlled who could enter or leave the community.  He claims he has a way to test for the disease that turns people into rat-creatures and turns away those who are infected.

Satisfied, Atarax headed for a corner of the room and began singing, telling the story of the party’s raid on a surface elf caravan.  Goblins, orcs, and bugbears have surprisingly little in common, but they all love to hear about dead elves.  None of them had ever heard a bard of Atarax’s talent.

While Atarax sang, Foleful attempted to ask Zargentia about Gargonne, a nasty bugbear spellcaster of his acquaintance who would not be happy to hear that Foleful was back in town. Zargentia stiffened and quickly walked to the other end of the bar.

Foleful shrugged and began quietly casting a divination.  The moment he began casting every humanoid in the bar began moving.  They rushed about, hiding under tables, behind the bar, anywhere to get out of his sight.  “What do you think you’re doing?” shrieked Zargentia, dragging Foleful into the back room.  “You moron!” she hissed, “Do you know how many people have died around here, killed by spellcasters?”  

She explained that Gargonne had gathered a group of spellcasters who had survived the recent civil war, including a couple clerics of Nerull.  The group had taken to killing at random, causing panic throughout Freetown.  A couple months before Freetown had been peaceful.  The civil wars were over and Freetown was as calm as it ever got.  Then people starting going crazy and killing each other.  The rat disease had begun to spread.  Gargonne’s group began their reign of terror.

While Foleful spoke with Zargentia, Thar attempted to calm the crowd by buying a round of drinks for the entire bar and apologizing profusely.  Atarax refused to play again after his performance had been disrupted, but the crowd began accepting the beer.

Foleful and Zargentia returned from the back room.  “You all have to leave now,” she said.  Foleful lead the party outside.


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

Outside, Foleful found Krikara waiting for him.  She held a small gallon barrel, which she had taken from the possessions of Solon the cat-demon.  She explained that she had detected magic in the beer so she had gotten a sample for Foleful to examine.  A few quick _object loresight_ spells, cast safely out of earshot of the bar patrons revealed that the beer had been brewed two weeks before by Pankwig, and that it was contaminated with some form of contagion.  

Each member of the party felt a dead weight in the pit of their stomach as they realized that they had drank the contaminated brew.   

Kriggle, who was presumably immune immediately cast cure disease on Foleful and Atarax, “May the blessings Kurtlmack be upon you.”  Unfortunately he did not have sufficient magic to heal Thar and Rhuun.  

Foleful immediately ran back into the bar.  The bar patrons dived for cover as he yelled, “The beer is contaminated!”

Pankwig cursed at Foleful, only becoming angrier when he saw Kriggle, riding Mighty Steed, following close behind Foleful.

Atarax quickly positioned himself between Foleful and Bite, the ogre bouncer who appeared prepared to rip the xvart in half, “Now Bite, there’s no need to fight.”  

[Game Note: The whole group cheered at this point.  For the last several sessions we’d all been waiting impatiently for Atarax’s spells to work on someone besides another party member.]

“Get out,” snarled Pankwig, “My beer is fine.”  

“My magical powers tell me different.”

As Foleful confronted Pankwig, Krikara attempted to slip behind the bar, only to be stopped by the orcish bouncer Torelk.  

Now everyone began talking at once.  Pankwig yelled at Foleful and Kriggle.  Foleful yelled back at Pankwig.  Torelk pushed Krikara along with the point of his sword.  Thar spoke quickly, assuring Kriggle that this was not the time to fight, “These are the friendliest people we’ve met.  They’re not very friendly, but still…”

Eventually Pankwig, with Bite's help herded the party out the door, but not before agreeing to allow Thar to come back with Atarax so he could play again.  As the party exited the bar for the second time they realized that Krikara had slipped away in the confusion.  Knowing their resourceful rogue, they withdrew a short distance from the bar and waited.  

A short time later the darkcreeper emerged from the bar.  She explained that she had snuck into the room above the bar.  She found several barrels of water and two of beer, all non magical except for a something she had found at the bottom of the second barrel of beer.  She handed Foleful a coin with a foaming mug emblazoned on it.  She had not been able to determine if the beer in the tun which fed the taps downstairs was magical.

Foleful was about to cast a spell on the coin when Thar pointed out, “Maybe we shouldn’t identify the stolen property right in front of the place we stole it.”  

The party walked through Freetown as Krikara described her exploration of the bar.    Soon they stopped and Foleful cast several _object loresight_ spells.  He learned that the coin had been crafted seventy-four years ago by a drunken orcish wizard named Dypso.  Its only magical ability is to convert water into beer.  After a quick conference, the party decided to put aside their investigation of the contaminated beer for the time being and go to Sanctuary.  

Just outside Sanctuary they encountered a patrol, who recognized them as the party who had attacked a Sanctuary patrol a few days before.   However, Atarax quickly smoothed over the problem by placing all blame for the earlier incident on the cat-demons.

The patrol accompanied the party to Sanctuary, explaining as they went that everyone who entered the community had to give a sample of their blood.  The blood was then tested by ‘Aunty Em,’ who could tell if the blood was contaminated by the rat disease.  The process took about a week.  Atarax revealed that the party believed they knew the source of the disease, and the patrol agreed to take them to see Zorn.

The patrol lead the companions to a large cave where an orcish monk was training twenty-five other humanoids, mostly goblins.  The orc, who was introduced as Zorn refused to talk to the party until they had given blood to be tested.  With some reluctance the party agreed.

Zorn was very interested to learn about the contaminated beer.  He took a sample that Krikara offered him and promised to look into it.  When Foleful began challenging Zorn about the laws of Sanctuary he clutched his head, clearly in pain.  Zorn quickly recovered, but he refused to continue the conversation and invited the party to rest while he finished his class.


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## Forrester (Feb 10, 2003)

*Nice write-up.*

A few clarifications for those of you playing along at home.

1) Dark Creepers have the power to Detect Magic as a spell-like ability several times a day. (Creepers of Krikara's character level can also cast Darkness twice/day, but that's immaterial at the moment.) 

While Atarax was lute-ing and Foleful was chatting up Zargentia, Krikara was skulking around the bar, looking for things magical. Much to her surprise, all of the mugs of ale radiated magic. She dumped some in an empty wine keg (for she was carrying the Bag of Holding taken off of Solon, the rakshasa), and when Thar bought the house a round of drinks, helped herself to even more. And then asked Pankwig if he could fill up a small keg directly from the tap. 

Her little trek to the upstairs, where she stole Pankwig's beer-making coin, gave the party an important piece of information: whatever Contagion is on the beer, it's not coming from the coin, because beer coming directly from the coin doesn't radiate magic. 

2) When Foleful flew (on top of Elemental, his small air elemental familiar) back into the bar, he didn't shout "The beer is contaminated!" 

No, he shouted "Bad Ale! Bad Ale! Bad Ale!" Much more amusing .

3) Atarax was EXTREMELY pissed off at Foleful for disrupting his Performance (which was 35 on the check!). He was clearly in the Bardic Zone . . . but when everybody dove under tables to take cover when Foleful started casting, it kind of ruined the moment. 

4) The civil wars have actually been going on for at least nine months or so, not a couple. Gargonne and his spellcasters have been blowing people up (or whatever) for at least some of that time. 

5) Doon's new work was actually "One Cat, Two Cat, Dead Cat, _Shoo, Cat!_". But close enough .


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

The party found themselves alone for a few minutes.  During their brief conference they came to several conclusions:


No one should ever interrupt Atarax when he is performing.
If seems unlikely that Pankwig or any of the regulars at the Hole are responsible for contaminating the beer.  More investigation should be done at the Hole to determine how the contagion was being introduced, and hopefully who was responsible.  (Thar offered repeatedly that saving Freetown from the rat-disease was unlikely to help the party reach any of their goals, but for the most part he was ignored.)
The rat disease probably wasn't simple lycanthropy.  Lycanthropy wouldn't explain the vicious claws the rat-creatures possessed, their startling speed, or the strange way that the disease is being spread.
No one should ever interrupt Atarax when he is performing.
There may be some magical effect involved in the fierce loyalty which Zorn inspires.
Zorn is the only person who comes to mind as having his situation improved by the recent chaos in Freetown.  Perhaps there is some connection between him and Gargonne.
Zorn need not be aware of the connection, his debilitating headache may signal some kind of outside influence.
No one should ever interrupt Atarax when he is performing!


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

*Against the Elves Session 4*

Since Zorn was avoiding him, Foleful turned his attention to Kierce, one of the goblins from the patrol that had brought the party to Sanctuary.  To  the best of Kierce’s knowledge Zorn had created the laws which govern Freetown, but Kierce wasn’t absolutely certain.  He explained that the diet and training the people of Sanctuary receive makes them immune to the rat disease.  Apparently Aunty Em can cure the disease, but she can’t cure everyone so it is the law that diseased individuals be turned away.  Kierce also explained to Kriggle that the reason that he has seen so few kobolds in Freetown is that most of them were killed in the recent civil war.

Foleful requested permission to cast some divinations.  Kierce was initially reluctant, Sanctuary law generally forbids spellcasting because of the ‘fireball problem’ in Freetown.  However, he secured permission for Foleful to cast spells while accompanied by Bip, a goblin wizard. 

Foleful cast a pair of _though captures_ after explining their purpose to Bip.  The first, cast at the entrance to Sanctuary, revealed warfare among the bugbears who had originally controlled this part of Freetown.  He saw the invading bugbears tearing down the portcullis at the entrance to what is now Sanctuary.  He saw a massive bugbear leading the defenders, skillfully mowing down his enemies with a spiked chain.  Kierce explined that the large bugbear was Garyark, a bugbear slaver who had controlled this area before abandoning it six months ago and holing up in a small complex to the south, shortly before Zorn founded Freetown.  Both Kierce and Bip were clearly afraid of Garyark, but confident that Zorn could defeat him if he ever returned.

Before casting his second _thought capture_, Foleful questioned Bip about the laws of Freetown.  Bip, like Kierce reported that Zorn had made the laws, but suggested he may have had help from Bloody Pulp and Mikek, two high ranking goblins.

Foleful then cast a second _thought capture_ near the great stone gate that blocked the route to inner Sanctuary.  Bip would not let Foleful even get close to the gate, since it had not yet been determined if he carried the rat disease.  Foleful received an image from a creature lying on its back staring across at Zorn, who stood in the middle of the cavern forty feet away.  It could also see a crowd of goblins and other humanoids watching from behind Zorn.  Foleful could feel that the creature’s dull thoughts were further clouded by a haze of pain.

Bip explained that occasionally other creatures tried to move into Sanctuary and take over: ogres, bugbears, a strange combination of ogre and fish.  Zorn had defeated each challenger in turn.

While Foleful talked with Bip and Kierce, Thar and Atarax inquired among the other goblins waiting to enter Sanctuary about the young goblin from Thar’s vision.  None of the goblins could help Thar since they hadn’t been inside inner Sanctuary yet.  They were impressed to meet a real cleric of Maglibuyet, and Thar agreed to lead them in a service shortly.

Foleful continued his line of inquiry, discovering that some rat-creatures had attempted to attack Sanctuary, but Zorn had killed them.  

Shortly thereafter the party was offered a meal of mushroom sandwiches and water.  The party was initially suspicious, which sent Kierce into a diatribe about the laws of Sanctuary (which seem to expand every time they are exlained):  Don’t do anything suspicious.  Don’t cast spells.  Eat the food and water you are given, it will increase your resistance to the rat-disease.  Obey Zorn.

Ignoring Kierce’s irritation, the party carefully examined the food they were offered.  It was not magical or poisoned, but Foleful’s extensive knowledge of fungi also told him the mushrooms were good to eat but had no special properties.  The party eventually decided to accept the food and ate it with gusto.


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

After their meal the party requested to meet with Aunty Em and talk to her about the disease.  Since Aunty did not live within inner Sanctuary, Kierce reluctantly agreed, but insisted that he, Bip, and another pair from the patrol, Igor the goblin rogue and Chump the orc accompany the party to make sure they were not attacked on the way and infected by the rat-creatures.

The party quickly gathered their gear and moved out.  A couple hours later they had reached Aunty Em’s cave.  After some negotiation with her bodyguard, a huge ogre wearing full plate and hefting a greatsword, they were admitted into Aunty’s presence.

Aunty was a tall, gaunt humanoid with long stringy hair.  She sat stooped in a rickety rocking chair and greeted her guests.  Atarax, hoping to ingratiate himself revealed that he had met Em’s sister, Aunty Anne, in Gulg.  However, he quickly dropped the subject when it became clear that there was  on love lost between Aunty Em and her sister.  

Aunty Em explained that she was something of a magic crafter, specializing in necromancy and brewing potions.  Atarax asked if she could alter a charisma enhancing cloak he had taken from the dead cat-demon to fit him, but such a task was beyond her skills.

The party could not learn much from Aunty Em regarding the disease.  She had been approached by Mikek to discover a way to detect the disease.  She did not believe it was standard lycanthropy, and had been able to cure it, but the process was time consuming and costly.  She did not know how long the disease could stay dormant before manifesting itself in its host.  

The party asked what Em did when she was done with the blood.  She explained that she threw out the contaminated samples and drank the others.  The party attempted to press her about why she drank the blood, but she only said that blood is life.  Atarax could sense that she wasn’t telling them everything, but could not discover what she was hiding.  

Aunty Em attempted to sell potions to the party, and when they refused she ushered them to the door.  She did tell them she was in the market for the bodies of thieves, but would not explain why.  She eyed Krikara, “I guess you wouldn’t do, would you dear?”

“Not being dead.  No I wouldn’t.”

The party marched back toward Sanctuary, talking about the situation at the Hole as they went.  Bip revealed that the last person to irritate Pankwig had burst into flames a few hundred feet from the bar.

When they returned to Sanctuary the party dispersed among the goblins waiting to enter inner Sanctuary.  They met a former goblin slave named Spud, a goblin child named Chip, and his mother Zaranna.  Chip was unsure about living in a community lead by and orc, but approved of letting the orcs do the fighting for them.  

Zavanna, recognizing the party’s power and experience, asked what the party was doing in Sanctuary.  When Foleful explained that they were seekers after knowledge.  Zavanna seemed unconvinced, nodding toward Kriggle, deep in conversation with Mighty Steed, “Even him?”

Again a meal was offered, and Foleful found a quiet spot to cast _object loresight_ on the mushroom sandwiches.  His spells revealed that the sandwiches had been made in the last day by a goblin named Pete who lived in inner Sanctuary.  The spell also revealed that the sandwiches had no magical abilities.  

Some time later the party was resting in a cave off of the main cavern when they were approached by Mikek, the high ranking goblin they had heard so much about.  Mikek wanted their help with Garyarch, the bugbear slaver who was holed up south of Freetown.  Mikek knew a secret way into the complex where Garyarch and his followers lived, and wanted the parties help neutralizing the threat that the bugbears represented to Sanctuary.

The party coldly asked what was in it for them and Mikek responded, irritated, that if they wanted to enter Sanctuary it stood to reason that it was in their best interest to defend it.  He also offered the treasure recovered from the bugbear encampment.

Mikek became angry once again when the party began questioning him about the laws of Sanctuary and demanding, ‘non mind-altering food.’  Mikek was ready to storm out when the party once more changed tactics and, ignoring their suspicions about Sanctuary and intentions to investigate further, agreed to kill Garyarch.

Mikek, appeased, explained that Garyarch had 20 or 30 bugbear followers and lots of slaves.  Mikek knew the area where the bugbears were holed up and knew of a secret entrance that allowed access to the complex through a presumably unguarded storeroom.  Mikek agreed to accompany the party on the raid, along with Bloody Pulp and Igor.  The party agreed to go the next day.  Before Mikek left he agreed to allow Foleful to cast some divinations to prepare for the following day.

As soon as Mikek was out of earshot, Foleful began casting an _arcane eye_.  While he was casting, Bip stopped by the cave, and was angry to recognize the spell.  Thar turned aside Bip’s complaints, saying Foleful had permission to cast any spells he chose.  Bip went away, furious. 

Unfortunately by the time Foleful was finished casting, Mikek had already gone back in to inner Sanctuary and the gate was closed.  Foleful could find no way for his spell to bypass the great stone gate.

Foleful cast a number of other spells.  He identified and distributed several potions taken from the cat-demon and cast a divination to gain some information about Garyarch’s encampment.  His _divination_ revealed that there were more than 50 bugbears in the encampment.  He also detected a lot of pain coming from goblins, kobolds, and another race he could not identify.  

The party was somewhat suspicious that Mikek had underestimated Garyarch's forces, but decided that since Mikek was going to accompany them treachery seemed unlikely.

While Foleful cast his spells the rest of the party again mingled with the waiting goblins.  They met Umeli , a member of a race they had never seen before called the Mungaeli.  Umeli appeared to be a strange combination of a goblin and a dwarf.  She revealed that hers was a slave race bred by the Dispana house of the Drow.  They were tough, strong, and small, making them excellent miners, but they were also incredibly sensitive to pain, making them easy to control.  Umeli revealed that the training she was receiving from Zorn was helping her control her sensitivity to pain.

Shortly thereafter a badly wounded patrol entered outer Sanctuary, closely followed by a pair of large Boarclopses.  Zorn, who had been teaching another class, immediately charged across the cavern and struck one of the boarclopses, sending it sailing fifteen feet through the air, slamming against the wall.

The party began casting spells.  Atarax centered the two creatures inside a confusion effect, while Thar cast a bull’s strength on Rhuun and Foleful cast a bolt of conjuring on the creature who still stood.  Immediately a small dog made of fire appeared next to the creature and began nipping at its heals.  Kriggle, Krikara, and Rhuun began moving toward the creatures, readying their weapons.

The boarclops which Zorn hit and, confused, began attacking its companion.  Zorn snatched up a broken piece of portcullis from among the trash littering the floor of the cavern and swung it at the nearest boarclops, but swung wide with the unweildy weapon.

Atarax called to the boarclops who had avoided the confusion effect, “I suggest you hit the boarclops who just hit you.”

Foleful cast another bolt of conjuring, hitting the confused boarclops and creating another fire elemental dog.  The dog bit the creature and caused it to catch fire.

Kriggle charged the first boarclops, smiting it and slaying it instantly.  At the same instant Krikara popped up from hiding behind some rubble.  Her arrow dropped the second boarclops.  

Zorn, panting and looking disgusted that the fight did not last longer called, “Dinner!” and kicked one of the boarclops, which sailed thirty-five feet threw the air to land near the gate to inner Sanctuary.   Thar noticed that Zorn was drooling slightly out of one side of his mouth and rubbing his forehead.  Zorn picked up both boarclopses and carried then through the gate into inner Sanctuary.

[Game Note: Much to Forresters dismay, even this show of prowess didn't earn Zorn any respect.  The players crack jokes about Zorn at any opportunity and repeatedly hound the DM, "Do we love Zorn yet?  Are we growing hair in strange places yet?"  and generally belittling the mind-control plot that we've convinced ourselves is going on somewhere.]


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

*4th of Charder*

The next day the party followed Mikek to Garyarch’s encampment. When they got close the party stopped to share spells and potions, preparing for the coming battle.   Mikek quickly found the secret entrance to the caverns.  He eased open the door and Foleful sent an arcane eye inside.  He saw a small cavern where a dozen bugbears lay sleeping.  Beyond it was a tunnel.  At the end of the tunnel was a small pool where a pair of bugbears were fishing, beyond which was another room where a handful of bugbears were resting.  

Half way down the tunnel toward the pool, it opened up on the right revealing a large cavern where most of the bugbears congregated.   Kobold and goblin slaves were chained to the walls.  There were two firepits.  A goblin hung by his ankles above one, and a goblin tied to a spit slowly roasted over the other.  In one corner several bugbears watched a pair of goblins throw a goblin head between them, keeping it away from a kobold who scampered back and forth trying to get it.  When ever any of the trio slowed, they were severely beaten by the bugbears.

Beyond the large cavern was another smaller one with a stone door at one side.  Foleful deduced that Garyarch had a private chamber beyond the door.  Foleful was able to isolate two bugbears weilding spiked chains, apparently Garyarch’s lieutenants, among the crowd.

Krkara, Mikek, Igor, Bloody Pulp, and Rhuun slipped through the door, using their roguish skills to sneak amongst the sleeping bugbears and slit their throats.  They successfully killed eleven bugbears before they were spotted by one of the pair fishing at the other end of the tunnel.

Mikek, Igor, and Bloody Pulp ran down the tunnel to neutralize the fishermen and the others in the chamber beyond.  Foleful cast a _grease_ spell in the entrance to the larger cavern, causing much confusion as the bugbears tried to move against the intruders.

Kriggle and Rhuun dispatched several bugbears who leapt across the grease, but not before Rhuun took a pair of nasty hits.

Atarax began singing to inspire his companions while Thar cast _prayer_ to increase their battle prowess.

As the other moved down the tunnel to engage the bugbears Thar stopped to cast _animate dead_ on the fallen bugbears.    Flesh began falling from the eleven dead bugbears as they climbed to their feet, becoming skeletal warriors ready to attack their still living brethren.

The bugbears in the larger cavern began throwing down rugs over the grease, but were hampered by attacks from Kriggle, Rhuun, and Krikara.  Their situation became even worse when first Thar, then Atarax cast _confusion_ spells.  Most of the bugbears immediately began attacking each other, and their attempts to defend their encampment disintegrated into chaos.  

Foleful began _summoning_ fire elemental dire apes, one after another, to attack the bugbears who weren’t yet confused.

At that point a huge armored bugbear carrying a spiked chain entered the cavern.  Garyarch yelled, “What the hell is going on?”  He survayed the scene, “ I hate spellcaters, I’ve always hated spellcasters.  I will continue to hate spellcasters for the rest of my…”

“Short!” interjected the party in unison.

“Life,” finished Garyarch.

The advancing skeletons were beginning to impede the party’s progress.  Rhuun tumbled by them into the cavern.  Thar cast _invisibility_ and followed her.  He slipped by the fighting bugbears and placed one of the fire pits between him and Garyarch.  Then Thar instructed the skeletons to mob one of Garyarch’s lieutainents.  The skeletons charged go them out of the way of the rest of the party as Foleful _summoned_ a stranged winged creature formed out of air, and then _summoned_ a swarm of earth elemental stirges around Garyarch, most of whom immediately attached themselves to his body.

Krikara fired arrows from hiding while Kriggle charged back and forth on Mighty Steed.

Atarax attempted to cast _hold person_ on Garyarch, with no effect.

Mikek, Bloody Pulp, and Igor entered the cavern behind the party.  What they found was total carnage.  About half of the bugbears were dead, and most of the remainder fighting among themselves.  The bugbear skeletons were swarming one of Garyarch’s lieutenants while the other lieutenant and Garyarch himself were engaged with Foelful’s summoned monsters.   

Now the battle would truly begin.


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

*Re: Nice write-up.*



			
				Forrester said:
			
		

> *5) Doon's new work was actually "One Cat, Two Cat, Dead Cat, Shoo, Cat!". But close enough . *




I could have sworn you said chewed.

I'm pretty sure that Foleful said, "The bear/ale is contaminated!" at some point.  It's in my notes.  I'm not sure how I missed "Bad Ale!"  That's so much better. 

I have a sneaking suspicion that the timeline of the Freetown civil war changed depending on who we asked.  Assuming that its a plot hole (or just my bad memory) and not a clue, why don't you post a timeline of recent Freetown happenings.  Your players will appreuciate it, as will the folks at home.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Feb 10, 2003)

Damn well better not be a plot hole . I was pretty careful mapping the timeline out . . . not that it should be important to the party, of course . 

Lot of stuff going on, though, so it's tough to keep straight. 

At this point, I think this is what the party knows: 

1) The civil wars started almost a year (9-11 months) ago. They first started in the goblin/kobold area of town. 
2) The bugbear civil wars ended roughly when Gariarch (or Garyark, which is how I think you spelled it) split Bugbeartown about six months ago. Soon thereafter, Zorn moved he and his crew (Bloodypulp was the main goblin leader) in.  
3) Gargonne and his little troupe have been blowing up people with fireballs and such for at least a couple months. How much longer, no (party member) knows. 

I *think* that's about it, for now. There's a lot of fleshing out that can be done, of course, as there are multiple types of weirdness abounding in Freetown.


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## Forrester (Feb 10, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *After their meal the party requested to meet with Aunty Em While Foleful cast his spells the rest of the party again mingled with the waiting goblins.  They met Dispana, a member of a race they had never seen before called the Mungaeli.  Dispana appeared to be a strange combination of a goblin and a dwarf.  She revealed that hers was a slave race bred by the Drow.  They were tough, strong, and small, making them excellent miners, but they were also incredibly sensitive to pain, making them easy to control.  Dispana revealed that the training she was receiving from Zorn was helping her control her sensitivity to pain.
> *




Easy correction: I believe you were talking to Umeli here, not Dispana. The reason for the confusion is straightforward -- I told Atarax that he knows that House Despana (of the Drow) commonly experiment with humanoid races in the quest to create the Perfect Slave Race. The Mungaeli are as close as they've come. 



> *
> Zorn, panting and looking disgusted that the fight did not last longer called, “Dinner!” and kicked one of the boarclops, which sailed thirty-five feet threw the air to land near the gate to inner Sanctuary.   Thar noticed that Zorn was drooling slightly out of one side of his mouth and rubbing his forehead.  Zorn picked up both boarclopses and carried then through the gate into inner Sanctuary.
> 
> [Game Note: Much to Forresters dismay, even this show of prowess didn't earn Zorn any respect.  The players crack jokes about Zorn at any opportunity and repeatedly hound the DM, "Do we love Zorn yet?  Are we growing hair in strange places yet?"  and generally belittling the mind-control plot that we've convinced ourselves is going on somewhere.] *




Yeah, ya bastards. He picked up TWO BOARCLOPS! One over each shoulder! Like they were kobolds! You guys are tough to impress. 

And no, you don't all love Zorn. 

Yet.

EDIT: One further clarification. Foleful, the xvart sorcerer, is actually 8th level (which is how he's summoning those fire elemental dire apes). There was a miscommunication during character generation -- Foleful's player thought I was starting everyone at 8th, not 7th. I let him keep everything at 8th, for bookkeeping purposes, though he has an XP debt, meaning he won't be a level above the rest of the party for very long. 

Kriggle is 8th level because I figured that a kobold playing a paladin should count as an ECL -1 creature. And that's being optimistic .


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## jeffwik (Feb 10, 2003)

And the reason Foleful is getting so much information from _object loresight_ is because he's casting it over and over and over again.

Also, Foleful does suspect Mikek of treachery.

And his fire elemental dire apes were both cut down in one round by the clumps of bugbears.


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## Gez (Feb 10, 2003)

That story hour is still the funniest there is.

You use your own conversion of the dark creeper, not the Tome of Horror's one (see also here, right ? Because these one have a hard ECL (4). Also, is that scout class the one from Kenzer's KPH ?


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

I'm pretty sure that Krikara uses a version of the Darkcreeper that Forrester and her player cooked up themselves.

The scout class is a version that Forrester cooked up, it's kind of a ranger/ rogue class.  I'm not really up on the details.  I never really got to see what the scout could do, since Krikara only took one level and then decided she was better off with rogue.  I believe Heddkarak, our dear departed orcish barbarian multiclassing fiend took a couple levels, but he died before I got to see what it did for him.

Morrow


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## Morrow (Feb 10, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *And the reason Foleful is getting so much information from object loresight is because he's casting it over and over and over again.
> 
> Also, Foleful does suspect Mikek of treachery.
> 
> And his fire elemental dire apes were both cut down in one round by the clumps of bugbears. *




I remember wondering what happened to the dire apes.  I stepped out of the room for a moment, and when I came back they were toast.

As for Mikek, if he does anything funny we'll just have to make sure that he doesn't make it back to Sanctuary.  Aunty Em did say she in the market for the bodies of thieves.  How would she feel if we tried to trade her old buddy for a few of those potions she was cooking up?

Morrow


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## Forrester (Feb 10, 2003)

Gez said:
			
		

> *That story hour is still the funniest there is.
> 
> You use your own conversion of the dark creeper, not the Tome of Horror's one (see also here, right ? Because these one have a hard ECL (4). Also, is that scout class the one from Kenzer's KPH ? *




I use something similar to the one in the URL -- but only +2 to Dex, racial skill bonuses are +2 to Hide and MS, and fewer darknesses/detect magics a day (though those increase with character level). 

I confess that I see no way that the Creeper listed in the conversion should be ECL +4. I mean, that's half-dragon ECL. I put the race at a strong ECL +1; probably should have been ECL +2, but c'est la vie. Not exactly unbalancing. 

As far as the Scout class is concerned, I posted it in House Rules a looong time ago. The gist is:

Rogue BAB
6 skill points/level (pretty much the Ranger list)
Bonus feat at first level and every six levels thereafter
Skill Master every five levels or so
Bonuses to Spot, Listen every three levels
Uncanny Dodges
Bonuses to init every five levels or so, starting at 3rd level
Bonus Endurance feats starting at 2nd level (by 19th level, the Scout pretty much needs about 2 hours of sleep a week, and can move at a Hustle constantly)

That sounds like a lot, but it's the only PC class there is which lacks fighter BAB *and* spells *and* sneak-attack damage. Meaning it's pretty damn weak in combat. 

Good class for keeping an eye on things, though. And if you want to do the cheesy multiclass thing, the bonus feat at 1st level is nice, along with the skill points. (Which doesn't make it unbalanced -- most classes give a big bennie at 1st level). 

But I should post this in House Rules, and not clutter up the Story Hour .


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## jeffwik (Feb 11, 2003)

*The secular humanoidist manifesto*

There's just one god.  That's logic talking, there -- if there were two, they'd be slugging it out until one defeated the other and (the universe being infinitely old) there'd be just one by now.  Same reasoning applies for sets of three or more gods.  No, there's just one god.  The xvarts call this god the Eoer-Stepper when they refer to it at all.  "Eoer," meaning "high and above" and "Stepper," meaning "stepper."  But generally Eoer-Stepper doesn't come up that much.  It exists only because it's logically necessary.

Kaldecki and Kurtulmak and Malgubiyet and Gruumsh and all the rest aren't gods.  Just because you can walk on water and raise the dead and grant first-level spells to your followers doesn't mean you're a god.  Let's look at the record.  Not all clerics worship specific gods.  As the PHB entry on clerics reminds us, some of them just pick two domains and get going.  Only _most_ clerics worship specific gods.

Clearly these "gods" are nothing more than insanely powerful epic-level entities.  Heck, they have character sheets in Deites and Demigods.  That's an unsatisfying system, fundamentally.

Another thing, what the hell kind of theology is "do as I say and I will give you healing spells?"  That's not ethics, that's bribery.  When the philosopher asks, "what is the highest good?" and the cleric responds "it's what gets hedged out by a magic circle against good spell," a great number of doors are closed.

So we ask ourselves, why do the gods co-opt morality and  metaphysics, presenting themselves as the only answer when they're so clearly a shoddy answer?  Because it's through metaphysics that we mortals can tap the power of the gods.  Rise up!  Rise up and question your shamans!  Probe your beliefs!  Endeavor to undergo a systematic survey of rational inquiry!

What exactly do the racial gods do for us?  Has Grummsh ever helped out an orc in need?  Has Kurtulmak ever granted kobolds a good harvest?  If we humanoids of the Underdark have all these all-powerful divine beings on our side, why is it we're still getting stomped on by Men, Elves, Dwarves, Drow, Mind-flayers, Giants, ET CETERA?!  I'll tell you why!  It's because gods are jerks.  They want sacrifices.  They want praise.  They want the best of everything.  And all this can be summed up in the behavior of clerics, which the gods tacitly endorse.

Clerics are pushy, money-grubbing pricks who have been granted the greatest gift of all -- magical healing.  Do they use these powers to help those in need?  Even those of their own race have to ante up with the sack full of money for a "cure light" or a "raise dead."  The greatest gift of all, reduced to simple _quid pro quo_.  The uncivilized clerics are even worse, the ones out there in the caves.

They wield their influence in tribal politics with a carrot and a stick.
The carrot is their capacity to heal, and the stick their capacity to rob the tribe of their healing, on a whim.  Those tribes are almost always ruled outright by their shaman of Kaldecki or Kurtlmak or whoever, thanks to the carrot and the stick.  And is this rule by divine right equitable, giving as much meager comfort to each tribe member?  No, as in all societies, the rulers hoard the best for themselves.

I had a conversation with an orc once.  I asked the orc, who rules your tribe?  Orc said, the shaman.  I asked the orc, why?  Orc said, shaman knew Grummsh.  I asked the orc, so?  Orc said, Grummsh commands it.  I asked the orc, why obey Grummsh?  Orc said, Grummsh is strong.  

"Grummsh is strong."  Boy, there's a grotesquely unsatisfying cosmology, ethos, and political philosophy, all rolled into one!  Where's the omniscience?   Where's the Infinite Justice?  Where's the majesty and grandeur?  Where's the frickin' theology?  Just because you're strong doesn't mean you deserve worship, bucko.


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## incognito (Feb 12, 2003)

I'm strong (very stong for my weight): anyone want to worship me?


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## Morrow (Feb 13, 2003)

*One will fall.*



			
				incognito said:
			
		

> *I'm strong (very stong for my weight): anyone want to worship me? *




Unfortunately most of the party is spoken for.  You might try Atarax, he doesn't seem to be tied down to any particular philosophy or god.  He might be interested in incognito-ism.

We spent the entire session last night in combat with Garyark (or Gariarch, if you prefer) and his lackeys.  We fought hard, but our tactics left something to be desired.  *And one party member paid the ultimate price!*

Morrow


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## Forrester (Feb 13, 2003)

*Yeah, that was one long battle.*

Suspense? You want suspense?

Hmph. Fine. 

*goes back to work in a huff*


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## Morrow (Feb 13, 2003)

Well, there goes the suspense.

Morrow


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## Morrow (Feb 15, 2003)

*Against the Elves session 5*

Rhuun, seeing the skeletons mobbing one of Gariarch’s lieutenants ineffectually moved to take advantage of the chaos.  She ran, leaping over a firepit and tumbling between the skeletons to get in position for a lethal double strike with axe and dagger.  She was able to use the distraction caused by the skeletons to strike at the lieutenant's vitals.  However, he struck back viciously with his spiked chain.

Thar, still invisible, moved behind Rhuun to heal her.  Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Gariarch and his other lieutenants skillfully plucking Foleful’s summoned stirges off of Gariarch’s neck and shoulders and smashing them.  Atarax, too stepped behind Rhuun, liberally using his healing wand and protection from evil spell to keep her in the fight.

Kriggle charged Gariarch, doing considerable damage.  Unfortunately, the skillful bugbear was able to disarm Kriggle and the kobald paladin was temporarily distracted as he scrambled for his lance.

While the battle raged Foleful moved to further neutralize Gariarch’s bugbear followers.  A pair of _stinking clouds_ at either end of the cavern incapacitated most of the bugbears.  No one seemed to notice that the vile clouds were also effecting the goblin slaves chained to the walls.  The center of the cavern, the only part relatively clear of confused, nauseated bugbears became a killing field.  Foleful cast a _grease_ spell beneath Gariarch’s feet, but the bugbear nimbly leapt aside.

Krikara left off firing at the bugbear minions to fire an arrow enchanted with a _darkness_ spell at Gariarch.  As he disappeared in a globe of darkness she scampered across the ceiling, looking for a new hiding place.  It was not lost on the darkcreeper that with his spiked chain Gariarch, if he got close enough, could pluck her off the ceiling and send her tumbling into the cavern below.  

Kriggle, having retrieved his lance, charged the lieutenant who had been helping Gariarch while Mikek stepped up to assist Rhuun.  Thar left Rhuun in Atarax’s care to heal Kriggle as he prepared for another attack.

At the same moment Gariarch appeared.  Clearly healed, he flew out of the stinking cloud sailing over the party’s heads.   The lieutenants turned their full attention to Kriggle and Mikek, but it was for not.  Bolstered by Atarax’s singing, a devastating series of blows from Kriggle’s lance and an arrow from Krikara’s bow brought down the two formidable adversaries, and the party turned their attention toward Gariarch.


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## Morrow (Feb 15, 2003)

Unfortunately the tide of battle had separated the group.  Mikek, Bloody Pulp, Rhuun, and most of the skeletons were engaged by a group of bugbears while the rest of the party engaged Gariarch.    Foleful cast an _ice knife_ and the chill weapon noticeably slowed the massive bugbear’s movements, but not enough as he engaged Kriggle.  The kobald paladin attempted another series of blows with his lance, only to see them turned aside and to receive a devistating blow from Gariarch’s spiked chain.  

Thar seized the opportunity and stepped behind the bugbear leader, casting _inflict critical wounds_.  The goblin cleric felt dismay as his opponent resisted much of the potent spell.  Thar saw Rhuun cut down another bugbear in a desperate rush to get to him.  However, Gariarch ignored to goblin to turn his attention on Kriggle, a massive blow sent the kobald’s shattered body flying from his steed to land in an unceremonious heap on the ground.  Gariarch did not pause an instant before striking down another cloud of Foleful’s summoned stirges.

And thus the tide of battle turned.  Rhuun and Kriggle’s steed both suffered terrible wounds.  Foleful and Thar attempted to keep the pressure on Gariarch with an _ice knife_ and another _inflict critical wounds_, but they could not stop the bugbear.  Thar noticed Mikek, across the cavern, drink a potion and disappear as Thar himself turned to run from Gariarch.  Thar felt the bugbear’s wicked spiked chain brush by his ankles, but avoided the attempt to trip him.

Gariarch observed his foes, and then considered his own wounds and flew back to drink a potion.  The enraged Mighty Steed attempted to follow, and Foleful sent another _ice knife_ after him so Gariarch called his remaining followers around him.  The party immediately dropped another _stinking cloud_ and _darkness_ around the bugbears, and Krikara and Bloody Pulp cut down the bugbears who could not return to the group.  Foleful noticed the disapearence of Mikek and started cursing, “I told you we couldn’t trust him!  I’m going to kill him!”

Igor and Bloody Pulp set to work finishing off bugbears incapacitated by the earlier stinking clouds while the party dropped back toward the exit.  Thar arranged the remaining skeletons in a line at the edge of the _darkness_ and he and Atarax turned their attention to healing Rhuun’s wounds.    When the healing was complete the party prepared their missile weapons and prepared for the inevitable charge.

And it came.  The skeletons stopped the charging bugbears momentarily, but were no barrier to the flying Gariach.  Thar’s dispel magic brought Gariarch to the ground.  Krikara struck a telling blow with her bow, as Rhuun’s handcrossbow, and Thar’s sling also inflicted minor wounds.  _Foleful’s ice knife_ missed Gariarch and exploded, showering him in icy shards.  

Many of the skeletons were destroyed and the bugbears charged the party’s line, but a couple skeletons engaged bugbears in the magical darkness.  The party battled the bugbears while Atarax blew his horn of good, protecting the party.

[Game note: At this point I commented that if the skeletons lasted any longer, I’d have to give them names.  Although the skeletons could inflict very little damage on the well armored bugbears, they did serve as a useful distraction, and the bugbears just couldn’t get through their impressive 13 armor class.]

Gariarch charged into the fray, striking Foleful with his chain and disrupting the xvart’s spell.  Foleful attempted to flee, but Gariarch’s chain flicked out, knocking the xvart from his perch atop his flying elemental familiar.

Inside the darkness, a single skeleton fought with its bugbear opponent.

Thar attempted to strike back, casting contagion on Gariarch, but ducking and weaving under the bugbear’s lethal chain he was unable to concentrate on the spell.  Thar attempted to flee only to be tripped and struck by the ever present chain.  Rhuun landed a blow on Gariarch, momentarily distracting him while Atarax threw a vial of alchemist fire on the bugbear and Krikara fired struck their formidable opponent with several arrows.   At that moment Mighty Steed, almost forgotten with the death of his master charged Gariarch from behind, buying precious seconds for the withdrawing party.  Thar, closely followed by Rhuun, lead the charge to the rear.

Gariarch yelled threats at the retreating humanoids as he struck Krikara.  Another stirge summoned by Foleful was only a momentary distraction to the advancing bugbear.  The party ignored Gariarch’s threats and questions until Thar yelled that Zorn had sent them, hoping to get some information from his opponent.  In a sense he succeeded, when Gariarch asked, “What’s a Zorn?”

And inside the darkness, the single remaining skeleton fought on.

Krikara tumbled past Gariarch’s chain and ran after the fleeing humanoids.  None of them spared a thought for Bloody Pulp and Igor, still engaged with Gariarch’s last few followers.  The only thoughts spared for Mikek involved cursing and promises of vengeance on the double crossing goblin.  

Thar and Rhuun slipped through the secret door and prepared to slam the door closed.  Gariarch was momentarily distracted by Mighty Steed's attacks, but he quickly crushed the life out of the valiant reptile.

Foleful cast a _glue_ spell on the ground, but Gariarch merely leaped over it.  Foleful, Krikara, and Atarax dove for the door only moments ahead of the charging bugbear.  As the trio slipped through the door Thar slammed it home and Foleful sealed it with glue.  Immediately Gariarch began pounding on the door.  It would not slow him down long.  The party took to their heels, fleeing into the warren of caverns around Gariarch’s lair.

And the one remaining skeleton fought on.

They fled for over an hour, at first pursued by Gariarch, and later merely searching for a likely place to go to ground well off the beaten path.  Eventually they found a likely looking cave and spent a cold, nervous night resting and recovering their strength.


*5th of Charder*


In the morning the party healed, and after a short conference returned to Gariarch’s cave.  Surely the four of them, without the distraction of dozens of Gariarch’s followers, could defeat the formidable bugbear.  Surely he would not expect another strike so soon.

Indeed he did not.  The party entered the camp and discovered Gariarch’s body, dead and stripped.  All of the goblin and kobold slaves were also dead, slain where they stood chained to the walls.  Gariarch’s private quarters were also stripped of valuables.  Signs of Mikek, Blood Pulp, and Igor were conspicuously absent.  The party stood, looking at each other in despair.   They had fought hard, losing a valuable companion in the process, and had been robbed of any reward for their efforts.


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## Morrow (Feb 15, 2003)

An updated

*Cast of Characters *

*Thar* (Goblin) Cleric of Maglibuyet 8
*Rhuun* (Goblin) Rogue 2, Fighter 4– Thar’s cohort
*Atarax* (Goblin) Bard 7
*Krikara* (Darkcreeper) Rogue 6, Scout 1
*Foleful* (Xvart) Sorcerer 8

And appearing next session:

*Moroku* (Orc) Sorcerer 7


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## Ev (Feb 15, 2003)

*Krikara's World View*

This is Krikara's Poem on the death of Ugluck (written in the original Dark Creeper naturally)  The rogue deserves to be heard to.



Oh my dark lord, for  orcs being quick to entering battle
Oh my great one, for orcs being bold to facing, confronting, meeting fighting, their enemies from the front
Oh my silent everything, for orcs being forthright, upfront, plain
Oh my fabulous everywhere, for orcs being not beloved
Oh subtle flowing silence, for ugluck having being a true member of his kind

Oh my dark Lord, for kobolds being small, little, of diminutive tiny size
Oh my great one, for kobolds having appearing seeming intelligent smart quick wise
Oh my silent everything, for kobolds being not boisterous
Oh my fabulous everywhere, for kobolds not being disliked, hated being shown contempt for
Oh sly obscuring grace, for Ive being a true member of his kind

Oh my dark lord, for your people being silent, quiet blessed
Oh my great one, for your people being subtle, crafty clever blessed
Oh my silent everything, for your people being talented, gifted chosen referred
Oh my fabulous everywhere, for your people being beloved
Oh all encompassing omnipresent obfuscation for Krikara ir Keul Kakat Krush being hoping to being a true member of her kind

Now wise trickster I being telling tell the tale of Ugluk’s shame and destruction and the practices of art leading to its reparation, cleaning, fixing, mitigating

On this night the eye having being shut
The clouds swirling, swishing, moving across the sky
The elves being in their camp having chanting
Chorusing and reciting elven trash, songs, tripe, nonsense, filth

Now Krikara having being with a party
Whose bent having being on revenge, killing, slaughter
So they haiving tracking, following, tracing
Hunted down that cheeaty trash, elven, mongrel, scum, filth

They having finding them near the mountainside
Close to the hill, knoll, cliffface
Elven camp being ringing with bright blights
Lights hooded lanterns having ringing all around

Now Krikara having leavin the party, group, unit, clan, tribe, force
Sneaking, scouting, approaching, stealing information
She having being moving with silence, talent, grace
Moving with the darkness all around

The elves having being remaining oblivious
Unaware, uninformed, they having being sleeping
Their scouts having remaining within,
Close to beside and near illumination

The party having then approaching
Positioning, moving to attacking
They hiaving broking, dividing, moving apart
Separating beyond the light, pollution, poison, illumination

But the elves having learning and realizing
Having being appraising of the attacking
They having being knowing and having being aware of
Expecting, anticipating, battle

Hedkrakk having standing up then
Raising himself above the hillock, mound, upwelling of the ground
He having being seeing the elves, and they having seeing him
And off he having running from battle

Krikara having seeing the impending doom
Having expecting light, death and destruction
So she having calling upon the night
And having being making the darkness, night, blessings in the battle

Thar the goblin having seeing the fight
The ambush in the confrontation
And he having becoming invisible, hidden, secreted
Illusioned, gone, he having running from battle

The elves having being better prepared then Ugluck
Having being having more speed, more readiness, more skill
So they having calling then on their spells
Creating summoning sleep in battle

Ugluck’s will being Ugluck’s will
His wisdom being his wisdom, his wits having being scattered
Ugluck being tiered, overused and weak
He having falling asleep in battle

Ive being smarter by far than Ugluck
Intelligent and wise not to sleeping in combat
The kobold having running and hiding then
Sneaking moving, fleeing from conflict, combat, confrontation, battle

The elves having chasing and pursuing the party
Carrying, bringing, dragging the light along
Giving up the cleric they having bing running for Hedkrakk
Keeping Ugluck’s body to fuel their fiendish plotting

Thar and Hedkrakk having escaping the lights
Ugluck being quickly, carelessly having being killing on the field
Ive and Krikara having uniting in flight, hidden and sneaking
Finding each other, then pausing for plotting

The heroes having knowing the danger
Having being aware of and having anticipating elven plans
The necromancer having having the mastery of a spell
Krikara having slipping them close enough for the desecration

And the elves having being stupid elves
They having shooting idiotic, stupid, unknowingly into the darkness
They having staying within their lighted, cursed, horrid place
Being ignorant of plotted desecration

Ugluck’s corpse having having the potential, ability, skill to having talking
Revealing, leaking, sharing, betraying information
But instead he having loosing his head
Burning, blazing rosting off in roaring desecration

Krikara having being wise and careful, crafty clever and sly
Embodying the holy virtues of sneaking
Ive having being quiet, silent, sneaky, smart in flight
And they having escaping victorious, successful, silent, hidden

For oh my dark god so having happening
For oh my dark god so I practicing the art
For oh my dark god so I ensuring silence


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## Gez (Feb 16, 2003)

Krikara is Kool. Although chatting with her should probably be tiresome on the long run.


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## Forrester (Feb 16, 2003)

Gez said:
			
		

> *Krikara is Kool. Although chatting with her should probably be tiresome on the long run. *




You might think so, but not really - chatting with the damn philosopher/sorcerer is much more trying on the nerves .

I remember that during my first month of interpreting Dark Creeper, I was only able to translate about 60% of it. I'm a master at this point, of course. 

But for those of you new to it, let me provide a quick overview of the story she's telling: 

The party (Ive the kobold wizard, Hedkarakk the orcish Barbarian/Ranger/Fighter, Thar the goblin cleric, Ugluck the orcish psychic warrior, and, of course, Krikara the dark creeper) was sneaking around some hills in the wilderness. They had caused a great deal of trouble in the area as of late, and the elves had formed large patrols to hunt them down. As elves are both smart and cheaty, they were making sure that the patrols were large enough that they could take care of a group of the party's level without overwhelming difficulty. 

(A more polite DM would have made the patrols equal or weaker than the party, of course, but at this point in the campaign the elves would have been moronic to do that, and I'm a big fan of realism.) 

So anyway, the party is wandering and hears some elves encamped, though they're not sure how many there are. 

They all creep creep creep up on the elves. The elves were smart, though, and put down Alarm spells; the spells triggered, and the elves were ready. As the party pops their heads up, expecting a surprise round, they find a bunch o' elves shooting at them with readied actions and spells! 

There was no big weapon damage but a Sleep spell did go off; Hedkarakk saved, but Ugluck failed. On their initiatives, Thar went invisible, Ive hid, Krikara hid, and Hedkarakk . . . well, he had a choice: wake up Ugluck and stand and fight and probably die, taking a bunch of elves with him, or run like a kobold. 

Hedkarakk ran. And Ugluck was killed next round. 

Here's the rub: earlier in the campaign, the party had left a couple of dead lackeys behind after an ambush. The elves, being cheaty, grabbed the bodies, cast Speak with Dead on them, and learned where the party's secondary allies were living. One week later, there were 60 dead orcs!

Well obviously, I don't have to tell you how many problems could be caused if the elves cast that spell on a dead party member. And Krikara knew that as well. So in the bushes, she and Ive conspired . . . and a couple rounds after the Ugluck fell and was CDG'd, his head BURST into flame! Ive cast a Flaming Sphere on Ugluck's head, making sure it wouldn't be communicating ever again. 

Krikara's version is cooler, of course .


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## Forrester (Feb 20, 2003)

*Coming soon: The Chronicles of Team Zorn!*

Zorn Zorn Zorn Zorn 
Zorn Zorn Zorn Zorn
Zorn Zorn Zorn Zorn 
ZORN Zorn Zorn Zorn . . . 

eeeeeverybody likes ZORN!


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## Morrow (Feb 20, 2003)

Taunting the players is not going to earn you DM points.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Feb 20, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *Taunting the players is not going to earn you DM points.
> 
> Morrow *




I was not taunting. I was merely making the observation that Zorn is a great guy, and that everyone likes him. 

You'll get over this little obsession you have with Maglibiyut, Thar . . . just give it a little time. 



-------------
PS Trivia question: who said the following? 

"I like Shinobi Killfist the best. I'm going to kill him *first*."


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## psychognome (Feb 20, 2003)

Dude, I really like this campaign, and it inspired me in a way. I'm going to run a campaign titled "Goblin Quest" for a few friends, and guess what, all the characters are... goblins!


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## Forrester (Feb 20, 2003)

psychognome said:
			
		

> *Dude, I really like this campaign, and it inspired me in a way. I'm going to run a campaign titled "Goblin Quest" for a few friends, and guess what, all the characters are... goblins!  *




Maybe you'd like to do some playtesting for me . I happen to have a little module I'd like to have a 3rd party try out . . . email me, or let me know your current email address (the one in your profile is broken) if you'd like to know more!


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## MavrickWeirdo (Feb 21, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *
> And the one remaining skeleton fought on.
> 
> 5th of Charder
> ...




Those Skeletons don't know when to quit


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## Morrow (Feb 21, 2003)

MavrickWeirdo said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Those Skeletons don't know when to quit  *




You know it.  One of these days I'm going to get to animate something bigger than a bugbear, and then we'll really have some fun.

To me my smelly minions!

Morrow


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## Morrow (Feb 21, 2003)

Forrester said:
			
		

> *
> 
> You'll get over this little obsession you have with Maglibiyut, Thar . . . just give it a little time.
> 
> *




Or just one failed save, eh?  You should subtitle this portion of the campaign, "How to win friends and influence people... through the use of mind control and gratuitous violence."

Ah, who do I think I'm kidding?  When you're a humanoid, violence is never gratuitous.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Feb 21, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *
> 
> You know it.  One of these days I'm going to get to animate something bigger than a bugbear, and then we'll really have some fun.
> 
> ...




We'll have to talk offline about this, but it occurs to me that 

1) There are a huge number of bones (most of dead slaves) in G's place
2) If you put all of those bones together, you should be able to get something bigger than a bugbear skeleton
3) There should be nifty necromantic spell or ritual or something that allows you to do exactly that . . . 

As you know, in my campaign saying "there should be a spell or ritual" is the same as saying "there IS a spell or ritual, we just have to figure out the particulars". If you want to take first crack, go ahead. Don't think there was anything like it in either of our Necromancy splatbooks.


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## MavrickWeirdo (Feb 21, 2003)

Forrester said:
			
		

> *
> 
> We'll have to talk offline about this, but it occurs to me that
> 
> ...




I think if you are "asembling" somthing out of available bones then that might be a "Golem" rather than a traditional undead creature.


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## psychognome (Feb 22, 2003)

Forrester said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Maybe you'd like to do some playtesting for me . I happen to have a little module I'd like to have a 3rd party try out . . . email me, or let me know your current email address (the one in your profile is broken) if you'd like to know more!
> 
> *




A module, you say? I'm game. But since I'm breaking up with my current group, I'll have to start all over with my plans for Goblin Quest. Originally I had intended this campaign to start at level 8, but since I'm not a fan of high-level play I'm changing it to level 3 anyway.

The irony is, that my current group has all the characters made already (5 8th level goblins), and now I'm jumping out of the group and taking my two best players with me. 

So just send me the module thingy, and I'll see if I can make this work.  I've just updated my profile to my new e-mail address.


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## Forrester (Feb 23, 2003)

MavrickWeirdo said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I think if you are "asembling" somthing out of available bones then that might be a "Golem" rather than a traditional undead creature. *




I suppose it depends how much work you put into it. Something to ponder.


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## Morrow (Feb 23, 2003)

*AtE session 6*

[Game Note: Forrester decided to do a little rewind to insert the new PC before the party returned to Gariarch’s complex.  The following took place immediately after Gariarch forced us to flee.  As any good player would say - blame the DM.]

*5th of Charder* 

The party has been moving quickly for over an hour.  Krikara scouts the way as they flee through the Underdark searching for a safe place to rest where their enemies won’t be able to find them.  Suddenly Krikara reappears in the tunnel ahead of them.  “There being an orc.  Being old, aged, venerable.  Being writing, scribbling,…”

“It couldn’t be Moroku,” says Atarax.  

“What being a Moroku?”

“He’s an old orcish scholar, a sorcerer.  He’s the only orc I know of who can write.  I’m going to check it out.”  

A few minutes later the rest of the party hears Atarax talking to someone.  Thar and Rhuun move forward and enter the small cave where the aged orc stands, talking to Atarax.  Krikara is no where to be seen.

Foleful stays where he is, summoning up a pile of sandbags to hide behind.

Moroku greets Thar and Rhuun warmly, then pauses, motions toward the ceiling and asks, “How long is she going to do that?”  Atarax, Rhuun, and Thar look up to see Krikara hanging from the ceiling, aiming her bow at Moroku’s head.  She looks quite put out to be discovered.  

The old orc explains that his studies have lead him to leave Gulg for Freetown.  He is very pleased to see Atarax again.  He agrees to let the party camp with them.  However the party is nervous and exhausted and bickers about trusting Moroku.  Finally Thar decides that the orc is no threat and settles himself down to rest.  Foleful soon enters the cavern and, ignoring Moroku, prepares himself to sleep.  There is another argument when Krikara, from her perch on the ceiling, drops a biscuit on Atarax’s head while he tells Moroku about the battle with Gariarch, but exhaustion soon forces them to put aside their argument.

In the morning Atarax and Thar heal their companions and they travel back to Gariarch, encampment.  They agree to allow Moroku to accompany them.  Their enthusiasm for the old orc increases when they discover he specializes in abjuration and evocation spells.  The prospect of having a ready supply of _fireballs_ on their side quickly increases the friendly feeling toward their new companion.

The party casts their standard array of preparatory spells before entering Gariarch’s lair, but it turns out to be for nothing.  They discover Gariarch’s body, just inside the secret door.  He has been stripped, and now wears a surprised expression and two ghastly rents in his sides.

The party quickly searches the rest of the complex and discovers it abandoned.  All of the goblin slaves have been killed, and every last item of value has been taken from the complex.  There is no sign of Igor, Bloody Pulp, or Mikek.


----------



## Morrow (Feb 23, 2003)

The party begins an extensive exploration of the camp.  Gariarch’s soul refuses to return in answer to Thar’s _speak with the dead_.  Foleful’s thought capture reveals only that Gariarch did not see whoever killed him.  Rhuun, after examining the body, is able to confirm that Gariarch was killed by two short stabbing weapons.  No one has to be reminded that Mikek carried a pair of shortswords.

Krikara discovers the original entrance to the cave complex, which the bugbears had collapsed, thinking it was the only entrance.  Thar finds that the fallen rocks are oddly shaped and hypothesizes that the entrance was blocked through the use of many applications of the _soften earth and stone spell_.  The rock was softened and then ripped from the walls and ceiling.  The party notes that they encountered no spellcasters in the fight against Gariarch’s forces, and Gariarch himself had noted a distaste for spellcasters.  The situation becomes clearer when Foleful casts a _thought capture_ in Gariarch’s private caves.  The spell reveals someone searching through Gariarch’s possessions, rushed and listening to the sounds of battle in the next cave.  Foleful senses a great wave of relief when a harness, a large black stone, and two gauntlets made of rock are uncovered.

Foleful describes the vision to the rest of the party, and they are less than impressed.

“You can’t make gloves out of stone!” exclaims Thar.

“How would they bend?” asks Atarax.

Krikara is able to confirm a little of Foleful’s vision.  During the battle, shortly after Mikek disappeared she heard someone moving around in Gariarch’s cave.  Foleful posits that the large black stone he saw is the heart of an elder earth elemental, and was being used to power the magic item which softened the stone around the entrance.  While such an item has obvious potential, no one can think of any reason that Mikek would be so desperate to find it in particular.  

Foleful is particularaly upset about the prospect of elementals being killed to power magic items.  “Who would do something like that?  Screw the dead goblins, this is upsetting.”

A search of Gariarch’s cave reveals that his books of anatomy and torture were left behind by whoever took the rest of his possessions.  The party retrieves titles such as _A Beginners Guide to Water Torture, Liberium Dolore Veritas, Where to Stick it volumes v-viii, Pressure Points_, and _The Book of Dead Smiles_.  They also find a small journal that Gariarch was apparently keeping, cataloging his experiments in pain performed on his goblin slaves.  The journal reiterates Gariarch’s hatred for clerics and priests, but doesn’t explain its origin.

Foleful argues that they should claim Gariarch’s complex as their own.  “A few _unseen servants_ to drag out the bodies, a prestidigitation cantrip or two, we’ll clean it up good as new.”

This gives rise to another argument about what to do next.  Atarax is in favor of returning to Sanctuary as if nothing had happened, but Thar and Foleful argue strenuously against it.  They argue that Mikek abandoned the party, even before they sealed him and his companions in the complex with a bugbear killing machine.  Not to mention they apparently killed every goblin in the complex to cover their tracks.  “We were expendable, do you think they’ll welcome us back with open arms?  We go back there, the best we can hope is all of those Sanctuary hopeful’s will kill us before Zorn can rip us limb from limb.”

The argument stops momentarily when Krikara finds several small patches in the cavern wall and ceiling that appear to be smoothed over using the stone shaping gauntlets. 
Foleful casts an _object loresight_ on one of the other smoothed portions of rock, learning that it had been formed about five and a half months before by a bugbear named Frankie because, “Gotta keep things out.”

After some initial experiments, the party discovers the smooth spots are only about three inches thick and block small narrow tunnels behind them.  After some initial experimentation Rhuun breaks one open using one of the bugbears’ morningstars.  The tunnel is to small for any of the party to pass, so Foleful sends an _arcane eye_ do investigate.  He finds a complicated series of narrow tunnels inhabited by tiny bipedal rat like creatures.  Foleful identifies the little creatures as Jermlaine, thieving, cowardly creatures who only attack when they have overwhelming odds.  Thar instructs Rhuun to move a large barrel over the hole they have created.

While Foleful’s unseen servants work industriously to clean out what he considers to be his new home, the party takes some time to grill Krikara about why she is with them.  She explains that she had been living with a clan of darkcreepers since leaving the party.  She was sent find a magical buckler and destroy it.  The conversation slips quickly into an interrogation mode as Foleful rapidly fires questions at Krikara.

“Who told you to do that?” asked Foleful.

“The Dark One?”

The rest of the party groaned.  “What is the Dark One?” asked Foleful.

“The All Encompassing Concealment.”

“Your god?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“When I was dead.”

The party looks at each other, they didn’t know anything about Krikara dying.  Thar smiles knowingly.  “You really were dead,” he murmurs.

“Who raised you?  A darkcreeper cleric?” asked Foleful.

As Krikara nodded, Thar laughed, “Darkcreepers don’t have clerics.  Their god is a figment of their imagination.  They can’t cast spells.”

“Being imaginary never stopped a god from granting spells,” replied Foleful, “For example, Gruumsh.”

Krikara went  on to explain that a mysterious woman named Lariska had told her where to find the party.  At the mention of Lariska, Foleful seemed uncomfortable and changed the subject.  “Why do you need to destroy the buckler?”

“Buckler being dangerous, troubling, upsetting.   Being worse than normal magic items.  More so.  Being light bringing.  Needing to being destroyed.”

Thar, intrigued by talk of a vision from an imaginary god and still a little uncomfortable about his own visions compared notes with Krikara about their respective visions.  “It was peaceful, pleasant, dark, silent, vast, wonderful, pure, perfect.  Then there was light, power, noise.  The buckler.  Bright, destructive, searing.“  She described seeing a crescent symbol on the buckler.

Foleful attempts to _divine_ the location of the buckler, and again receives nothing.  Thar is able to confirm that followers of Corellon Larethian sometimes inscribe his symbol, the crescent on their armor.

The party also discusses the possibility of returning to The Hole to follow up their investigation of the tainted beer.  Again Foleful casts _divination_, “What kind of reception would Atarax and Thar receive at the Hole?”  The response is simple, “The coin was last seen when you were all there.”

“Well there goes another chance to perform,” Thar says to Atarax.

The party, tired and confused, sets watches and settles in to get some rest.  Krikara claims Gariarch’s bed, and the others scatter around the complex.


----------



## Morrow (Feb 24, 2003)

*6th of Charder *

Thar awoke sometime later to Moroku shaking him awake, “I was on watch with Atarax and Rhuun when they just stood up and walked out toward the exit.  They wouldn’t talk to me.”  Suddenly the _Alarm_ spell that Moroku had cast at the once-secret door began to clang.

“There they go.  Wake the others,”  said Thar.  He runs for the exit, only stopping long enough to cast _invisibility_.  As he reaches the smashed secret doors he slows and sneaks forward silently.  Atarax and Rhuun are already out of sight and he can here the old ogre moving up behind him.  Thar accelerates into a run, dashing through corridors, barely able to catch the sound of Atarax and Rhuun ahead of him.

Eventually Thar catches up and, confident that Moroku is close behind, gets near his two companions and casts invisibility purge.  No invisible enemies are revealed, but Thar immediately becomes visible.  Thar attempts to reason with Atarax and Rhuun, but his words have no effect on the pair as they walk determinedly toward Sanctuary.  “We have to go to Zorn,” they explain.  

Moroku casts one, then a second _dispel magic_ around the pair, neither to any effect. 

Thar, in a juvenile fit of frustration attempts to kick Atarax in the genitals, but the nimble bard leaps aside and continues to walk.

Suddenly an arrow flew out of the darkness and struck Atarax in the back.  Krikara has arrived.  

Thar ignores Atarax and turns to Rhuun.  “I need you to stop.  Maglibuyet wants you to stop.  They'recontrolling your mind, damn it!”  

Talking is having no effect, so Thar casts _dispel magic_ on Rhuun.  She immediately stops, blinks, and looks at Thar with despair.  “Oh no!”

Atarax has been struck with a second arrow and has had enough.  He casts expeditious retreat and begins to run away from the party.  He is almost out of range when Moroku casts _dispel magic_ on him and he stops, shakes his head in confusion, and moves back toward the party, clutching the arrow sticking out of his side.  He casts a spell, and Krikara feels her will suppressed under Atarax’s _charm monster_ enchantment.  

“Let’s agree that the next time someone is charmed we don’t stop them by shooting them full of arrows,” yelled Atarax.  

The rest of the party seemed largely unconcerned about his anger.  Thar brushes aside Rhuun’s heartbroken apologies.  “Let’s go back and find Foleful.”

“Can I get some healing?” asked Atarax.  

“When we get back to camp.  Let’s move.”

The party returned to camp to find that Foleful, who was completely out of spells after a day of investigation, had elected to stay where he was.  Foleful quickly put the pieces together and deduced that the party had fallen victim to sympathetic magic.  He explained that sympathetic magic works over long range but requires something that belonged to the target.  It is particularly potent if you have a piece of your target.  Blood would work very well.

This revelation sets off another argument.  Thar demands that they go and kill Aunty Em immediately.  Foleful reminds him that Slam her ogre bodyguard poses a major obstacle, and she wouldn’t live outside inner sanctuary if she couldn’t take care of herself.  Atarax suggests that perhaps Aunty Em is passing the blood samples on to someone else, perhaps unknowingly, and recommends talking to her.  Thar is adamant that Aunty Em is their only link to whoever is trying to control their minds.  “We’ll kill her, then ask her if she’s responsible.  If she’s not she can tell us who is.”  He rolls his eyes in disgust as the rest of the party agrees that they should try talking first.  “I can’t think of a scenario where the creepy old witch is our ally against the conspiracy to control our minds.”

The party returns to sleep and Krikara conspicuously offers to sleep on the stone floor so that Atarax can have Gariarch’s bed.


----------



## Forrester (Feb 24, 2003)

*Without further adieu, the Books of Torture . . .*

_*From the back of “Pressure Points: Life Energy Management through Mechanical Manipulations”, by Ilvana*_

*The long-term maintenance of clients, especially with minimal magical interference, has long been a challenge to both hobbyists and trained professionals. The prolonged torture of the naturally weak and vulnerable is especially difficult. In this book Ilvana (Author of “Evisceration Without Death” and “Taking Their Time”) takes the reader on an exciting journey through the torture of a pregnant female giant, an elderly male drow elf, and a goblin girl. You’ll learn: 
·	Nine easy steps to prepare your client for disembowelment
·	Seven ways to control your subject’s blood loss with exact precision
·	The ten most common mistakes Inquisitors make when their client starts to slip away

“I never believed that story about how Ilvana kept Garcius alive for seventeen months without so much as a healing cantrip. I do now.” – Sygark Vardonblade

“Helpful tips for inquisitors of all skill levels. My client loss level has dropped to below 20% after studying Ilvana’s case histories.” – Lorelei Draeziil of the House Despana

“Not bad.” – Archduke Baalzebulb, Servant of Perfect Evil, Lord of the Flies, Absolute Ruler of the seventh plane of Hell*

(Notes: Atarax's bardic knowledge revealed that Ilvana is a freelance Erinyes Inquisitor of no small fame, and that Garcius was a Great Silver Wyrm captured by a group of particularly nasty pit fiends). 

----
_*From the foreword of “The Book of Dead Smiles”, by Zocala Baska*_

*It is through the pain that they find out who they are. It strips them of their defenses. They are made innocent again, like children. We are here to help them find that innocence. In the end they don’t feel guilt. Or regret. Or remorse. In the end, they are pure. 

We set them free. *

(Notes: Zocola Baska is a male drow torturer of the House Killsaek. Insane, of course, but not untalented.) 

----
_*From the introduction of “A Beginner’s Guide to Water Torture”, by Hsssith and Csssoth Ursssliss*_

*It has long been understood that the introduction of high-pressure water to client orifices is an excellent way to extract information. However, many novices are blind to the intricacies of the method. How much water should be used? What devices should be used to introduce it? What are the dangers of using boiling water, or using a different liquid entirely? 

Excellent questions all – lucky for you, you’ve come to the right place. We’ll talk about the right way, and the wrong way, to triple-surge water into your victim. We’ll talk about temperatures – what reaction can you expect from your victim when ice-cold water turns boiling hot? And if you can’t buy your own equipment, we’ll teach you how to make it yourself. 

Prepare yourself to see this little harmless little liquid in an entirely new light!*

(Notes: Hsssith and Csssoth Ursssliss are, charmingly, husband and wife -- a pair of half-fiendish lizardmen. They work for one of the many Slavers groups in Sivenni (a huge drow-controlled slaver town)).

----------- 
_*From the foreword of “Where To Stick It,” Volume 5, by Grutious the Grim*_

*Hey, torture fans! GTG (author of Where To Stick It, Volumes 1-4) is back with the sequel you’ve been waiting for! And you know the drill -- no dry text here. No rambling about anatomy or where this nerve connects to that tendon or how hard you need to hit an elf’s skull to break it without damaging its brain. No, we’re all about fun here at GTG’s, bay-bee! So throw some black rock into the fire, and throw the pokers in after it, because we’re going to get messy. We’re going to get bloody. We’re going to get brutal. 

We’re going to get GRIM! *

(Notes: Grutious is a bugbear torturer of Clan Baragg. Clan Baragg rules much of the nearby Underdark area, including most of the "tollbooths")

---- 
_*From the introduction of Librum In Dolore Veritas, by Gremian Graybody*_

*There are many books about the inquisitor technique, but few about inquisitor psychology – many on how to learn the truth from our clients, but none on how to use our clients to discover the truth about ourselves. Yet exploration of this type is a must for any good inquisitor. Few inquisitors recognize the dangers of counter-transference, spontaneous sympathy, or pain fatigue; fewer still know how to conduct an active investigation of how their client’s reactions may be subtly affecting their psyche. 

Yet an investigation of this type can blunt or even completely negate its negative effects. In this book I discuss the importance of self-monitoring, reconstruction, adherence to Quality, true and simulated subject-object dichotomization, and inverted authoritarianism and how each ties in with a unified Theory of Suffering. A metaphysics of torment is outlined and logically connected to the metaphysics of relief and hope. The subtle yet well-established differences between pain, anguish, torment, and agony are examined from seven different perspectives; specifically, that of client, inquisitor, observer, employer, . . . 
*
(Notes: Atarax has never heard of Gremian)


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## Forrester (Feb 24, 2003)

*Fun With Party Conflict*

From the interparty discussion emails last week: 
-------------------

Foleful: Party goals and questions for discussion -- 
·	How can we find this child, given that divination yields no more answers?  Is the divination screen an indication that the child is in Inner Sanctuary?
·	Why does Krikara want a shiny buckler, who told her to get it, and what is she doing here?
·	What is virtue?  Is one man as good as another?
·	If Foleful wanted to, say, establish an Academy of learning and culture, ruled over by a benevolent philosopher-king (cough cough), what would be the best way to go about that?
·	Do we need to make an excursion into the Hellmouth to seek out new life and new civilizations for Atarax to learn the languages of?

Atarax: You forgot one important party goal. Perhaps the most important --  
*NEVER INTERRUPT ATARAX DURING A PERFORMANCE!!!!!!*

Foleful: Right, we'll be sure to avoid that in the future.

Other things to avoid include "coming out of hiding to greet monstrous demonic horrors and offer the party up to them" and "giving people samples of our blood" and "agreeing to help the people we all just agreed we don't trust go kill someone we've been warned by many people is a violence machine" and "giving people samples of our blood" and "suggesting we cheerfully go *back* to the people who betrayed us after we got beaten up and lost a party member for them and pretend nothing happened" and especially "giving people samples of our blood!"
--------------

God, I love this campaign!


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## Forrester (Feb 24, 2003)

*THE TOP PARTY QUOTES in this DM's humble opinion*

It recently occurred to me how many good lines keep popping up. So I figured I might as well start making a list. Here they are, in chronological order: 

1. "You're right. We're not refugees." -- Rhuun
2. "Can I have a foot massage?" -- Thar
3. "NEVER INTERRUPT ATARAX DURING A PERFORMANCE!!!" -- Atarax (about seventeen times a session)
4. "Bad Ale! Bad Ale!" -- Foleful
5. "Can we please have some NON-mind-altering mushrooms? -- Atarax 
6.  "Can I cast _Charm Person_ on myself?" -- Atarax

Hm. The bard seems to have most of the good lines. Figures.


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## Gez (Feb 24, 2003)

*Re: Fun With Party Conflict*



			
				Forrester said:
			
		

> *God, I love this campaign!  *




A whole lotta fun, sure! It has a feelin somewhat like the mis-adventures of "Kroc the Kewte", an old classic comic for French gamers (a kind goblin cursed with a non-destroyable hit point, and his cowardly friends, assaulted by the ruthlessness of munchkin adventurers and his "normally monstrous" brethren).

With more blood and less silliness than Kroc, however.


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## MavrickWeirdo (Feb 25, 2003)

*Re: AtE session 6*



			
				Morrow said:
			
		

> *Their enthusiasm for the old orc increases when they discover he specializes in abjuration and evocation spells.  *




How do you specialize in Abjuration AND evocation?


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## Forrester (Feb 25, 2003)

*Re: Re: AtE session 6*



			
				MavrickWeirdo said:
			
		

> *How do you specialize in Abjuration AND evocation? *




I've House Ruled sorcerers a bit. I was getting tired of the same ole sorcerer -- Magic Missile, Shield, Exp. Retreat at 1st level, Fly, Fireball, Haste (if I hadn't nerfed it out of existence) at 3rd level, etc. 

SO, in my campaign, sorcerers: 

1) Become Monte Cook sorcerers (4 skill points/level, d6hp, slightly different list and learned spells/level)
2) Know spells from two schools -- one that is relatively powerful (Transmutation, Enchantment, Conjuration, Evocation) and one that is less powerful (Illusion, Abjuration, Necromancy, Divination). 

They get twice as many known spells, in the sense that they know the usual number of spells from each school. For instance, a Monte Cook sorcerer learns two 3rd level spells when he hits 6th level. One of my sorcerers would learn two 3rd level spells from *each* of his schools. 

The catch is, of course, that they can only cast spells from two schools -- so they are uber-specialized. Foleful, for instance, can only cast Conjuration and Divination spells. He'll never cast Fly or Improved Invis or Teleport. He'll never be able to use a Wand of Fireballs. 

Moroku can lay out the Fireballs and Dispel Magics like nobody's business. But no Fly. No Web. No Invisibility. No Solid Fog. And so on. 

It probably makes them a little overpowered. (Of course, the lack of Haste in my campaign hurts spellcasters more than fighter types.) But damn, they're a helluva lot more interesting. There are two sorcerers in my campaign right now (Foleful and Moroku) and they're incredibly different. Not being able to cast any of the same spells does that .


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## Altin (Feb 25, 2003)

Got lured here by Forrester's sig. and I just have to say this story hour is just indecently fun to read; the games must be a complete riot. Any plans to flesh out the early days when the crew of 'against the elves' was ... you know, actually against the elves?

Yours,
Altin


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## med stud (Feb 25, 2003)

The cover texts of the books on torture were really great!


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## Morrow (Feb 25, 2003)

Altin said:
			
		

> *Got lured here by Forrester's sig. and I just have to say this story hour is just indecently fun to read; the games must be a complete riot. Any plans to flesh out the early days when the crew of 'against the elves' was ... you know, actually against the elves?
> 
> Yours,
> Altin *




It would be nice, but no one has really shown any interest in writing up the party's earlier adventurers.  I don't think that anyone has very good notes for that period.

Questions about the history of the AtE game are particularly complicated because none of the players who started the campaign are still with the group.  So really Forrester is the only person who knows the whole story.  Perhaps you could interest him in giving a more complete overview.

As for the lack of elves in Against the Elves, I suspect that it is only a temporary situation.  We know there are drow around, we just haven't met them yet.  And those surface elves we left behind when we fled into the Underdark are almost certainly going to send someone after us eventually.

Morrow


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## jeffwik (Feb 25, 2003)

Yeah, the sessions are a riot.  Even more fun, though, was the session Morrow ran last night, in his new Campaign With Very Unusual Design Goals.  Shinobi Killfist (I am a Ninja!), Thogibar (I am a total idiot!), Gaewaelaelae (I am the well-meaning straight man and de facto party leader!), and Thror Hammerfist Swordaxe Arkenstone Potentaxe Steelbeard Dwarrowdelver (I am a cleric and I sell healing for 1.5 gp per hp!).

It really resembled _8-bit Theater_ more than anything else.

Next time I'll write down the one-liners, so as to give it a fitting session report.


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## Forrester (Feb 25, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *Yeah, the sessions are a riot.  Even more fun, though, was the session Morrow ran last night, in his new Campaign With Very Unusual Design Goals.  Shinobi Killfist (I am a Ninja!), Thogibar (I am a total idiot!), Gaewaelaelae (I am the well-meaning straight man and de facto party leader!), and Thror Hammerfist Swordaxe Arkenstone Potentaxe Steelbeard Dwarrowdelver (I am a cleric and I sell healing for 1.5 gp per hp!).
> 
> It really resembled 8-bit Theater more than anything else.
> 
> Next time I'll write down the one-liners, so as to give it a fitting session report. *




Ahem. Not allowed to say other sessions are more fun than mine . And correction: Shinobi isn't just a Ninja, He's a Ninja with a *Greatsword!!!!* Get it right! (I do think we need to session-reportize Morrow's campaign, though . . .)


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## Morrow (Feb 26, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *Yeah, the sessions are a riot.  Even more fun, though, was the session Morrow ran last night, in his new Campaign With Very Unusual Design Goals.  Shinobi Killfist (I am a Ninja!), Thogibar (I am a total idiot!), Gaewaelaelae (I am the well-meaning straight man and de facto party leader!), and Thror Hammerfist Swordaxe Arkenstone Potentaxe Steelbeard Dwarrowdelver (I am a cleric and I sell healing for 1.5 gp per hp!).
> 
> It really resembled 8-bit Theater more than anything else.
> 
> Next time I'll write down the one-liners, so as to give it a fitting session report. *




I'm glad you gentlemen enjoyed it.  I've just created a new thread for The Knights of Ill Fortune.  Feel free to post a session summary, or just some notes about your brilliant characters.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Feb 27, 2003)

*Best quote of the night . . .*

"I don't like any plan that requires me to make multiple saving throws." -- _*Thar*_

Oh yeah.


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## jeffwik (Feb 27, 2003)

*No, no, the best line was*

"You know, when you put it that way, I can see that *you're right, Foleful*." -- _Flenz_

Yes!

Yes!  

Go Billy Dare, Boy Sorcerer!

We're all gonna die, plan-less and helpless!


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## Forrester (Feb 27, 2003)

*Re: No, no, the best line was*



			
				jeffwik said:
			
		

> *"You know, when you put it that way, I can see that you're right, Foleful." -- Flenz
> 
> Go Billy Dare, Boy Sorcerer!
> 
> We're all gonna die, plan-less and helpless! *




So bitter, so bitter. You freed Flenz from mental slavery, and -- well, I don't want to say more or else Morrow's going to get mad at me for spoiling his Story Hour . Suffices to say it was, on the whole, a pretty good session for the Figuring Stuff Out. 

I will also say that I was especially impressed the way all of you fought against your baser instincts and actually admitted it when Krikara came up with a really good idea .


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## psychognome (Feb 27, 2003)

The story's getting better. Keep it up!


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## Morrow (Feb 28, 2003)

Wow.  We've passed 1,000 views.  We rock.  You're all really desperate for entertainment, aren't you?

Time to get cracking on session 7.

Morrow


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## LuYangShih (Mar 3, 2003)

Fun Story Hour.  Interesting Sorcerers, but unless you house rule Wizards as well, do you think you'll ever see a PC in your games take that instead of Sorcerer?  Oh yeah, and clearly Foleful doesn't understand the concept of divinity and where Gods really come from.


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## LuYangShih (Mar 4, 2003)

To clarify my earlier statement:

Alright, Secular Humanoidism states that the "Gods" are nothing more than extremely powerful beings who utilize those powers to gain worship and dominion over lesser beings, correct?  Clerics are the tool used to achieve this end.  

However, Secular Humanoidism fails to address the following question:

1.  If all the Gods are is incredibly powerful beings, why would they care whether or not they were worshipped?  Sure, maybe a few of them would find it amusing to gain lesser beings unquestioned devotion, but there would have to be at least a few that wouldn't bother unless they gained something from it.  So, why do the Gods require worship from the lesser beings?


The answer is clear to any who have studied the rise and fall of the beings we know as "Gods".  The more beings that worship Gods, the more power they attain.  Gods who have no worshippers have far less power than those with numerous supplicants.  So, Gods gain power from the belief sentient beings place in them.

Secular Humanoidism does point out the interesting fact that Clerics can draw upon great power even when they claim they are not worshipping a specific deity.  Yet, even those Clerics draw their powers from an established belief system.  And they gain as much power as other, denominational Clerics.

I postulate the theory that "Gods" are simply representatives of a certain belief system.  A focal point for a nexus of power emanating from belief and faith.  Anyone who believes in the concept, application and power of that which a certain God represents believes in that particular God.  So, a Cleric who believes in, say, war, battle, and strength of arm is gaining his power from Tempus as much as the Cleric who acknowledges where he draws his power from.  And both grant Tempus greater amounts of power through their beliefs.

So, rather than the overlord and slave relationship that Secular Humanoidism claims exists, I think that Gods and their followers exist in a symbiotic relationship that strengthens and supports both.  And indeed, the Gods are not false beacons of great power, but representatives of a belief system that _grants_ great power.  So, Secular Humanoidism is clearly mistaken in it's beliefs.


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## LuYangShih (Mar 4, 2003)

And to clarify my post above:

I'm bored and I want an update.


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## Morrow (Mar 4, 2003)

LuYangShih said:
			
		

> *And to clarify my post above:
> 
> I'm bored and I want an update.   *




Quite right.  I'm afraid I've been a little slow working on the ol' update.  It'll go up sometime this week.

In the meantime why don't you read the Knights of Ill Fortune?  Forrester's write-up of the first session is priceless.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Mar 6, 2003)

Quote of the session: 
_"Huddle! Okay. Do we have anything to lose? I mean, ANYTHING TO LOSE??!!"_ --Foleful

Ah, those cries of desperation . . . 

Second quote of the session: 

Auntie Annie: "To protect you, I'll need a bit of your blood." 
Everyone else: "Um . . . NO!"


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## Serpenteye (Mar 7, 2003)

This is one of the better story hours I've read on these boards.


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## Morrow (Mar 10, 2003)

*AtE Session 7*

Thar and Atarax begin the day by saying a few words over Kriggle’s corpse.  They had not known the kobold long, but he had proved a valuable companion.  When they were finished, Rhuun cut Kriggle’s jaw from his skull.  Thar and Krikara knew well the damage that could be done if a cleric cast _Speak with the Dead_ on their departed companion.

The party replenishes their supplies from Gariarch’s stores and heads off in the direction of Auntie Em’s cave.  They choose a route that will take them near the center of Freetown, avoiding the route they took from Sanctuary to Gariarch’s camp.  

After a few hours Krikara, who was scouting ahead, spotted a creature coming toward them.  The strange creature was ten feet long, with a bulbous body, a round head with a huge mouth full of teeth, and ten spindly legs tipped with claws.  The creature floated down the corridor, with its legs dangling behind it.  As gruesome as it was, the creature had an additional unnatural quality.  It’s legs were not evenly distributed on either side of its body, and it had an indescribably alien look that made it difficult to look at directly.  

Krikara responded as she would to any surprise.  She fired an arrow at the strange creature and dropped back toward the party.  The creature responded with startling speed, flying up to Krikara and biting deeply into her shoulder.  Krikara’s companions act quickly.  Foleful’s _ice knife_ wounds the creature severely, and Rhuun leaps forward and finishes it off with a single blow from her enchanted rapier.

Krikara complains that the bite has left her feeling strange.  Thar can detect no poison in the wound, so heals her with his wand of cure light wounds.

Foleful identified the creature as a Rast, but posited that it had been somehow changed by a chaos effect similar to what they had experienced in Doon’s cave.  The party joked grimly that it would be just their luck if the chaos-effect was contagious.  Krikara squirmed uncomfortably at the thought.

The party continues on their journey.  Some time later Krikara discovers four rat creatures, two of who were once goblins, and two which were once bugbears.  The party chooses to go around the rat creatures, in spite of Moroku’s protests.  “Yes, we’ve encountered these creatures before.  Very boring, no warrior spirit at all.” Foleful assures him.

After traveling a short time Krikara once more hears something coming toward them down the tunnel.  Moments later they all hear the high pitched screams of pain of the creature staggering toward them.  Soon they see a single goblin, but like no goblin they have seen before.  The young goblin is bulging with massive muscles that appear almost like tumors grafted onto his small frame. 

Foleful attempts to entangle the goblin in a web spell, but the goblin tears right through, hardly noticing the grasping strands.  As he gets closer, still screaming, Thar and Atarax recognize Chip, the young goblin they had met in Outer Sanctuary only a few days before.  They also realize that in addition to inarticulate screaming, Chip is crying out to Zorn, insisting that Zorn can help him.  The pair glance at each other.  The last time they had seen Chip, he had been less than impressed by the leader of Sanctuary.

“Hold Friend.  Let us know what we can do to help you,” says Atarax, but when Chip gets dangerously close, still screaming Moroku engulfs him in a bolt of lightning.  

The horribly altered young goblin screams even louder, clearly hurt, then rushes forward and strikes Moroku.  The old orc is knocked through the air, sailing forty feet before hitting the cavern wall and falling to the ground.

Rhuun moves up to strike, but Thar stops her.  “Chip, wait.  We can help you.”  Atarax moves up beside Thar and the pair attempts to calm the screaming youth.  The two goblins ply their healing wands, attempting to stop the young goblins pain, but to no effect.  

Moroku targets the young goblin with a _dispel magic_, which seems to only increase the young goblins pain.  Thar and Atarax back off, still attempting to calm the young goblin, can only redirect his rage by striking the tunnel walls instead of the humanoids attempting to help him.  Thar continues to heal the young goblins wounds while praying aloud to Maglibuyet, trying to calm him.

Moroku’s spell seems to have worked after all.  Chips enhanced muscles are beginning to shrink.  The young goblin tears off the light armor he is wearing with a single gesture revealing a discolored lump growing out of the center of his chest.  The young goblin seems to shrink and drops to his knees, clearly in agony.  The lump drops off his chest, leaving a large open wound.  Blood begins to flow from the young goblins wounds, and Thar and Atarax act quickly to heal him before his expanding wounds tear Chip apart.

Soon the transformation is complete.  Chip is once more they slight young goblin that Thar and Atarax remember.  He sits on the floor of the tunnel, still shaking from pain and fear.  While Chip recovers the party goes to work.  Krikara does not detect magic from either the discarded lump or Chip himself.  Foleful attempts _object loresight_ on the lump and is surprised when it works.  The lump is about five hours old, and was the beginnings of a third arm growing out of Chip’s chest.  Foleful keeps that revelation to himself for the moment. 

Thar and Atarax manage to learn that earlier in the day Chip had began to feel bad, and had decided to go for a walk against the wishes of the guards who protect outer Sanctuary.  Soon he was overwhelmed by pain, and wandered aimlessly.  The strangest thing, Chip explained, was that he kept thinking that Zorn was his friend.  “I don’t even like Zorn,” admits the young goblin.  “What happened to me?”

The party promises to help Chip, and save his mother from Sanctuary, but first they have to neutralize the source of the mind control seeking to make him, and them, love Zorn.  Chip, although concerned about his mother, agrees to accompany the party.  

Again the party continues toward Auntie Em’s home.  Soon Krikara hears a Sanctuary patrol ahead.  They aren’t particularly stealthy, talking about how wonderful Zorn is as they walk down the corridor toward the party.  Krikara drops back, “Patrol coming.  Talking about Zorn.  Reveling in his joy, wonder, and beauty.”  The party quickly hides.

For a brief moment they dare to hope that the patrol won’t notice them, but one member of the patrol glances into the shallow cave where the party has taken refuge.  Before he can react, the party moves.  Thar’s crossbow bolt and Foleful’s glue spell have no apparent effect, but Rhuun and Krikara both stab the surprised goblin and tumble out into the tunnel as his body drops to the floor.  

Another member of the patrol, a mungaeli monk, tumbles toward Foleful.  Rhuun manages to wound her as she rushes by, but she manages to get by and strike the Xvart, knocking him off of elemental.  Foleful hits the wall and slides to the floor.

Krikara drops her sword, draws her bow and shoots the monk attacking Foleful, but cannot bring her down.  Rhuun finds herself battling a large orcish monk, while the rest of the patrol moves up to engage the party.  Atarax begins to sing and fires his crossbow at an advancing goblin.  He hits, but the bolt seems to do no damage.  Moroku casts _magic missiles_, which also seem to have no effect.

The mungaeli attempts to negotiate with Foleful, “Surrender and we’ll take you back to Sanctuary where you’ll be prosecuted under Zorn’s just law.”  She claims that they will receive a fair trial for betraying Mikek.

Krikara, ever opposed to negotiation shoots the mungaeli in the back even as Atarax stops singing to exclaim that the party didn’t betray anyone.  The fighting pauses momentarily as Atarax attempts to explain that it was Mikek and his companions who double crossed them.  

The temporary reprieve does not last.  The orc facing Rhuun, apparently sharing Krikara’s feelings about negotiation, takes another swing at Rhuun and battle erupts again.  Moroku creates a _flaming sphere_ around another member of the patrol, who rolls aside and yells, “Let’s get out of here!”

Most of the patrol breaks and runs back the way they had come.  The mungaeli runs in the opposite direction, past Foleful.  Only the orc holds his ground.  Krikara scoops up her sword and tumles past the orc to flank him with Rhuun.  The pair quickly brings him down.

Foleful climbs back atop Elemental and flies after the mungaeli, yelling that Zorn is wrong, that the party didn’t betray anyone, and undoubtedly questioning her about the nature of the good.

The rest of the party begins to examine their fallen foes.  Chip is disturbed, “I know these guys.  They were nice.  I played catch with that guy over there.”  Thar attempts to comfort the young goblin.

Soon they hear Foleful returning, with the mungaeli.  “Hello everyone,” Foleful calls brightly, “Flinz here decided to negotiate.”  He looks meaninfully at Moroku and the old orc immediately casts _dispel magic_ on the gullible monk.

The mungaeli at first seems confused, then begins screaming, possibly even louder than Chip had.  She drops into unconsciousness almost immediately.  Although Flinz does not have Chip’s massive muscelature, her wounds do begin to open up as his did and Atarax applies his healing wand several times to keep her alive.  Soon she stable, but still unconscious.

The party compares notes.  Whatever is being done to Zorn’s followers makes them stronger and tougher.  They seem resistant to normal weapons and even weak spells.  The only good news is these effects can be removed.  

The party discusses leaving Flinz behind.  Even Foleful seems to feel that capturing her is a waste of time.  Then she wakes up.

At first the mungaeli is confused.  She had been a slave in Bugbeartown until she was saved by Zorn and his companions, Mikek and Bloody Pulp.  She had come to Sanctuary and shortly thereafter had began a five month period where everything was, in her words, “Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, with some more Zorn on the side.”  

Flinz had soon began training, and had been inside Inner Sanctuary.  She estimated that Zorn had perhaps ninety fully trained followers inside inner Sanctuary.

The party is impatient to get to Auntie Em’s until Flinz explains that there are patrols looking for them everywhere.  As soon as he returned, Mikek sent Bloody Pulp with a large group to advise Auntie Em to close up shop, and to guard her.  “Everyone is looking for you.  If you go there you will be captured or killed.”

The party, their plan foiled again, devolves begins arguing about what to do next.  They regard the prospect of another night fighting off mind control with fear.  It is Krikara who finds a solution.  Thar memorized a stone shape spell to bypass the entrance to Auntie Em’s home.  They could find a cave and use the spell to seal them in.  It would stop anyone from wandering off, and Moroku, who hadn’t given blood and was thus likely immune to the mind control could cast dispel magic on anyone who displayed undue affection for Zorn.  In the morning Thar could _stone shape_ them back out again.

Foleful and Thar in particular are somewhat surprised that Krikara has struck upon such an elegant solution.  “I don’t want to like it.”  admits Thar, “but I do.”

The party travels away from the area they encountered the patrol for a couple hours, eventually settling on an acceptable cave not far from Doon’s home.  Thar seals them in, and the party settes down to consider their options and await the seemingly inevitable intrusions into their minds.

The party turned their attention to wringing all the information they could out of Flinz.  While she had never seen anyone in Sanctuary with a third arm, she did remember a few people who had complained of chest pain.  Under careful questioning by Foleful, Flinz admitted that they had all eventually brought the problem to Zorn’s attention, and she hadn’t seen them again after that.

Thar questioned Flinz about Mikek.  She admitted that Mikek was the only person she’s ever seen advise Zorn about the running of Sanctuary.  Mikek, Bloody Pulp, and Egor were actually part of larger group of goblin rogues.  The other members of the group were Targak, Andarg, Dools, and Zardel.  Flinz offered that the group, “Didn’t seem to love Zorn as much as everyone else.”

“It’s almost as if they weren’t mind controlled,” offered Foleful, sarcastically.  

“You know, Foleful, when you put it that way, I think your right.”  Flinz replied with a look of recognition in her eye.  Foleful favored Flinz with a broad grin.

Mikek was looking more and more like the brains behind the whole scheme.  “You know Foleful,” said Thar, mimicking Flinz, “You were right.  We really should have killed Mikek.”

However, the theory of Mikek as the goblin in charge didn’t hold up long.  If Mikek was in charge, Thar wondered, why did he risk his life to take on Gariarch?  Getting the stone shaping gauntlets was clearly important, but if you had an army of steriod-crazed mind controlled goblins, why take the risk yourself?  This seemed more like the job for a trusted lieutainent, rather than the person in charge.

Foleful offered that perhaps there was someone giving Mikek orders, someone paranoid enough never to leave the protection of Inner Sanctuary, someone who set up their trusted follower, Mikek, to manage Zorn, and later to manipulate a gullible group of humanoids to take on Gariarch and bring back the gauntlets.  Foleful began to refer to this theoretical individual as the Evil Genius.

The conversation turned back to the effect around Inner Sanctuary that prevented all divination.  That kind of effect either indicated the presence of a powerful artifact, perhaps even Krikara’s buckler, or that the Evil Genius had access to some considerable spell power.  It would take significantly more power than the party had ever seen to do the job.

As the evening wound down Thar expressed frustration that Maglibuyet had sent him into this apparent no-win situation.  He complained that there was real power being thrown around, far more than this group was capable of dealing with.  Why did Magilbuyet send him?

Krikara, perhaps a little fed up with all the complaining, offered, “Perhaps Maglibuyet sent you so as not to attract attention.”  Thar stared at her, his jaw working ineffectually, and his head spinning.  Then he turned and prepared to sleep.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 10, 2003)

*AtE Session 8*

7th of Charder

The party, Thar in particular, fights off another bout of mind control during the night, but this time no one appears effected.  In the morning the party decides to return to Gariarch’s camp, traveling through the area they know to be patrolled.  Hopefully they’ll encounter another patrol and capture someone a little more observant then Flinz. Rhuun retrieves her sap from her backpack and sticks it in her belt.  Krikara manages to scrounge a small sack and create a makeshift sap of her own.

Thar hopes to learn more at Gariarch’s camp.  “Why did he leave Sanctuary?”  Thar asks, “No one forced him out in the strictest sense.  As far as we know he just picked up and left with all of his loot, all his followers, and a bunch of prisoners.  He cleared out and then hid.  What could scare him?”

If they cannot get to Auntie Em, they need to seek out the only person they know of who may be able to neutralize Auntie Em’s sympathetic magic, her sister Auntie Annie.  That will require a journey through the Hellmouth to Gulg, a dangerous course, but perhaps their only option.  Foleful believes that distance should decrease the effectiveness of the mind control, thus improving their chances of success.

Again Krikara scouts ahead as the party, and soon she hears a wet slapping, squishing sound approaching.  She drops back to the party, and soon they seen a strange many tentacled creature dragging itself down the tunnel toward them.  The creature would clearly be more comfortable in a marsh or swamp, and has the same not-quite-right quality that the rast possessed the day before.  The party’s first volley of attacks had little effect.  Krikara’s arrows and Atarax’s _charm monster_ spell both appeared ineffective against the chaos infused aberration.  The tentacled thing was able to squirm under the full brunt of Moroku’s _lighting bolt_, and Foleful’s _stinking cloud_ does  not slow the creature down at all.

Atarax begins singing and the party backs away from the advancing creature, but Foleful is not fast enough.  A long tentacle streaks out of the stinking cloud, wraps around him, and drags him back in.  “No, I’m poisonous!  I’m poisonous!” he shrieks as he is dragged out of sight.

The party cannot see their opponent through the cloud, so Thar _dispels_ it, almost yelling the prayer which accompanies the spell in his frustration.

Atarax seizes the initiative, "Swamp brother!  We’re so happy to see you.  I suggest that you don’t touch the xvart, he’s poisonous.” 

The tentacled creature promptly drops Foleful.  Elemental charges forward to scoop up Foleful, but is caught by another tentacle.  Meanwhile, Foleful, incapacitated by his own _stinking cloud_, begins hallucinating from his contact with the chaos creature.

Elemental manages to squirm free of the tentacle and drag Foleful out of harms way.  The party attempts to bring down the creature.  Atarax’s alchemist fire and Thar’s _magic stone_ spell prove ineffective, but Moroku manages to bring down the beast with two volley’s of _magic missiles_.

The party takes stock and heals Foleful and Elemental.  Foleful seems confused and flighty after his contact with the tentacled creature, but the party can do nothing for him, so they continue their journey.

[Game Note: Foleful’s player had great fun playing him after he took a considerable amount of wisdom damage during the battle.]

Soon they reach Gariarch’s camp.  Krikara reports the party that she hears the chewing noises that are indicitave of the rat-creatures.  Foleful seems gleeful at the opportunity to observe the creatures in action, and atop Elemental, flies into the main cavern of the camp.  “Hey guys,” he calls back, “We have guests, and they seem like really nice guys.”

The four goblins, turned into rat creatures by the mysterious contagion do not, in fact, seem like nice guys.  They charge Foleful, raking the little xvart with their claws.  Foleful panics and drops _solid fog_ over the entire area.  This does succeed in slowing the rat creatures, but it also delays his escape long enough for them to claw at him again.

Thar casts _freedom of movement_ on Rhuun and Krikara and they move into the cloud, quickly dispatching the rat creatures trapped there.

Soon the cloud has disbursed and Foleful able to pull himself together enough to cast some more divinations.  He casts a _thought capture_ near a goblin slave which was killed by swords, and gets a clear image of Mikek, very businesslike, running the goblin through.  He casts another _thought capture_ near a goblin slave killed by a morningstar, and gasps in surprise at the image he receives.  He sees a bugbear come around the corner and crush the goblins skull with a morningstar.  It is not seeing a surviving bugbear which shocks Foleful.  It is that the bugbear looks distressingly like Egor.

The party is shocked.  “Egor, the little goblin who stood in back and couldn’t hit anything with that bow of his?  A bugbear?  What’s going on here?”  

Foleful casts a final thought capture near Gariarch and receives the bugbear’s last thoughts.  “Gotta get them before they get away.”  Then there is nothing but pain and surprise.

Thar casts _speak with the dead_ on one of Gariarch’s lieutainents.  “Why did Gariarch leave bugbeartown and come here?”

"The rat bastards." 

“Who are the rat bastards?”

“Sneaking, little cheating rat-bastards.  Jermelaine.  And the shapeshifters.” 

The party looked at each other in surprise.  “What did the shapeshifters do?”

“They shapechanged into one of us.  Caused chaos.”

“What’s so important about the stone gauntlets?”

“They meld stone, dumbass.”  And with that the bugbear’s spirit was free.

The whole party began talking at once.  “So even the Jermelaine aren’t a coincidence?  They were sent to keep an eye on Gariarch?”

“The evil genius is using the Jermelaine?  I was hoping they would work for us.”

“Shapechangers.  Well, that explains Egor.”

“Probably Mikek’s entire group are shapechangers.  It just keeps getting better.”

“One of us could be a shapechanger right now, and we’d never know it.”

“No wonder Gariarch cleared out.”

During the conversation Atarax trails off in mid sentence, but recovers quickly and only Krikara pays much attention.  Thar decides they’ve covered all the ground their going to in one night and goes into Gariarch’s cave to meditate.  Krikara begins teaching Atarax to speak darkcreeper, and the others disperse.

It is second watch when Krikara hears Flinz and Chip talking.  Chip is saying that he can’t wait to get back to Zorn.  Krikara wanders over to where Rhuun stands on watch and explains what she heard.  Rhuun doesn’t hesitate, the pair pull out their saps, walk over to Flinz and Chip, and bludgeon them into unconciousness.  The rest of the party is awoken by Flinz’s cries, but by the time they arrive Rhuun is already chaining the pair to the wall. 

Krikara quickly explains what she heard.  Foleful is enraged.  He casts as summon monster spell.  Thar, surprised and disgusted smacks the xvart on the back of the head, trying to disrupt the spell, but Foleful completes the incantation.  An earth elemental stirge pops into existence, but the rest of the party destroys it before it can latch onto Chip.  The party is angered by Foleful’s behavior, but he insists that Chip and Flinz must be killed, “For all we know the Evil Genius is looking at us through those eyes!”  

Eventually they manage to calm Foleful down and return to sleep, but the night is disrupted a second time when Krikara hears Atarax talking to the prisoners about his love for Zorn.  The party is awakened again as Krikara angrily confronts the goblin bard, but he manages to pacify them, explaining that he was just trying to get information out of them.

8th of Charder

The next day Thar begins by casting a _zone of truth_ around the party and instructing everyone to say that they don’t love Zorn.  Chip and Flinz are unable to pass the test, but everyone else seems fine.  Foleful eventually badgers them into admitting the truth, mostly by taking advantage of Flinz’s low pain tolerance.  They explain that they intended to conceal their loyalty to Zorn and slip away while no one was looking.

Thar casts a _remove disease_ spell on Foleful to neutralize any ill effects from the rat-goblins bite and follows it up with a _restoration_ in the hopes of neutralizing any lasting effects from his encounter with the chaos creature.  Foleful immediately feels much better and admits that his encounter with the tentacled aberation left his confused.

While Thar works Krikara huddles with Moroku.  When they’re done talking Moroku turns to Atarax and casts a _dispel magic_.  Atarax seems confused for a minute and then admits that he was under the same compulsion as Flinz and Chip.

Atarax comes up with a more dependable test for mind control.  He explains that his horn of good creates an effect that will neutralize mind control in the area for a short time.  He offers that the effect could be used to reveal who was mind controlled, and Moroku could then dispel the effect.  The party tests the theory on Chip and Flinz, who immediately return to normal and are quite distressed to once more have their minds played with.

[Game Note: Somewhere along the line we deduced that area dispels were ineffective against the sympathetic magic mind control.  In other mind control action, Forrester ruled that since Atarax hadn’t actually instructed Krikara to do anything, she didn’t realize he had effected her with a _Charm Monster_ spell either during the periods in the protection from evil effect, or after it wore off completely.]

Soon thereafter the party leaves for Gulg.  They travel through the Hellmouth, dodging dangerous creatures and using their elaborate combination of stone shape, the horn of good, and Moroku’s dispel magic spells to keep themselves free of mental domination.  When they reach Gulg, four and a half days later, none of them love Zorn and they are all hopeful that Auntie Annie will be able to help them.

Somewhere along the trip, Thar casts a sending to communicate with Filbin, the cleric he had trained back and Blarkarg camp.  “It’s all going to hell here.  How are you doing?”

“Fine boss.  We’re not slaves yet.”

13th of Charder

The party enters Gulg through the same hidden route that Atarax and Foleful used to leave it not long before.  They soon find Auntie Annie’s shop.  The tall, gaunt, old woman is behind a counter set up outside and she greets Atarax warmly.  

Atarax begins by negotiating a price to alter the cloak that he took from the cat-demons, but soon moves on to more important things.  Auntie Annie admits that she has heard from her sister about the rat-disease in Sanctuary.  When Atarax mentions that Auntie Em had spoken unkindly of her sister, Annie offers that Em is jealous of her talents, or just thought that Atarax was trying to use his connection with Annie to get a discount.  

Atarax begins asking about some of the effects they have seen and attributed to sympathetic magic.  Auntie Annie seems disbelieving at the tails of greatly increased strength, but is interested enough to invite the party inside her shop.

Atarax asks Flinz to tell Auntie Annie her story.  He attempts to make further inquiries about Auntie Em and her capabilites but Annie grows impatient with the little information he offers.  Foleful turns to the others, “Huddle.  Do we have anything to lose here?”  he asks forcefully.  “Do we have anything to lose?!”

The party looks at each other, and one by one shakes their heads.  “We don’t know anything that our enemies don’t know already.”  says Thar.  “Tell her all of it.”

So Atarax tells all, including their suspicions about Auntie Em’s part of the mind control plot, and their thoughts that Em is responsible for giving the humanoids following Zorn increased strength.

Eventually Annie cuts Atarax off.  “There is no way that my sister has the power to do this.  Do you have any idea of the raw power it would take to maintain a charm effect over that many creatures?  To transform that many creatures.  It can’t be done.”

However the party keeps on her.  Thar offers that this might be a case of professional rivalry, that ‘it can’t be done,’ really means, ‘I couldn’t do it.’  Auntie Annie is admitant the Auntie Em couldn’t be responsible for these effects, but eventually seems convinced that impossible or not, what the party describes is really happening.  She does offer one interesting observation.  “How do you get strength like that?” she asks.  “You can’t just create it.  You have to borrow it.”

Auntie Annie decides to talk to her sister.  She leads Atarax into another room, where he stands, _invisible_, while Annie smears oil on a mirror and says a few words over it.  Soon the reflection swirls and another room appears in the mirror.  A bell rings and moments later another old woman walks across the room to stand before the mirror.  As they stand looking at each other Atarax thinks that it really could be a reflection.  The two are nearly identical.

The two great each other, and Annie tells her sister that she has heard about trouble in Freetown.  Em admits there has been, “The cutest little group of adventurers, attacking people and causing trouble.”  She also offers the rat-disease and other weird things have been happening.

The two sisters exchange pleasantries and agree that they should see each other more often.  Auntie Em assures her sister that everything is business as usual, she has no reason to worry.

When the conversation is over Atarax and Auntie Annie rejoin the party.  Atarax agrees that Auntie Em did seem to be telling the truth, but points out that she didn’t offer a lot of detail.  He is convinced that Auntie Em is hiding the truth by not providing a lot of detail, rather than by lying. 

Auntie Annie maintains that her sister is not powerful enough to be responsible for the effects the party has described.  She does have an idea.  She pulls a book off the shelf and shows them a picture of a giant with a third arm growing out of its chest, an Athach.  “The third arm would have been something like this, wouldn’t it?”

The party agrees.  Auntie Annie reiterates that in order to get the kind of strength they had discribed, someone specializing in sympathetic magic would have to find something like an Atthach and take a piece of it, like a fingernail, or even better, blood.  It is possible that such an effect would also cause the growth of a third arm.  However, in order to get the strength that the party describes, and give it to so many people, it would take a lot of blood.

The party puts aside the question of how this was done for a while, and asks Annie if she could create something to protect them from the mind control effect.

“Yes,” responds, “but I’ll need a sample of your blood.”

The room goes silent, then the party cries, almost in unison, “No!”


----------



## Gez (Mar 10, 2003)

*Re: AtE Session 7*

There's quite an interesting -- and fun -- plot we see here.

As a Certified Pprofessional Annoying Nitpicker (CPAN, tm), I've noticed an error:




			
				Morrow said:
			
		

> *The temporary reprieve does not last.  The orc facing Rhuun, apparently sharing Krikara’s feelings about negotiation, takes another swing at Rhuun and battle erupts again.  Mikek creates a flaming sphere around another member of the patrol, who rolls aside and yells, “Let’s get out of here!”*




I guess it's Moroku rather than Mikek.


----------



## Forrester (Mar 10, 2003)

*Re: Re: AtE Session 7*



			
				Gez said:
			
		

> *There's quite an interesting -- and fun -- plot we see here.
> 
> As a Certified Pprofessional Annoying Nitpicker (CPAN, tm), I've noticed an error:
> 
> I guess it's Moroku rather than Mikek. *




Heh heh heh . . . er, no comment. 

Yes, it's been a tough week for the party. But the attempted charms were less numerous as they trekked around the outskirts of the Hellmouth on the way to Gulg, and pulled at them with less power. On the final day, there were no attempts whatsoever. 

Clearly, this is a good sign, no?


----------



## Morrow (Mar 10, 2003)

*Re: Re: AtE Session 7*



> I guess it's Moroku rather than Mikek. [/B]




Noted and corrected.  Thanks.

Morrow


----------



## Gez (Mar 10, 2003)

*Re: Re: Re: AtE Session 7*



			
				Forrester said:
			
		

> *But the attempted charms were less numerous as they trekked around the outskirts of the Hellmouth on the way to Gulg, and pulled at them with less power. On the final day, there were no attempts whatsoever.*




Ah, the heathen ! They showed impious contempt toward Zorn's Coolness and now they have angered Zorn, and Zorn no longer try to reach them with His Coolness to make them ascend to Zornishness, the ultimate state of enlightenment. (Burning on a stake is the ultimate state of enlightenment.) 
Foul pagans ! How could they turn off the glory of becoming a mindless athach chanting Zorn, Zorn, Zorn with the rest of the Zornian Choir ?

Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn, Zorn...


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## jeffwik (Mar 10, 2003)

*Re: AtE Session 8*



			
				Morrow said:
			
		

> *“The evil genius is using the Jermelaine?  I was hoping they would work for us.”*




As Foleful's player, and the maker of this comment, I'd like to point out that it's justified by the following _divination_:

"Would we be pleased with the results of an attempt to recruit or hire the jermelaine?"
"The jermelaines' loyalties lie elsewhere."


----------



## Forrester (Mar 10, 2003)

*Re: Re: Re: Re: AtE Session 7*



			
				Gez said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Ah, the heathen ! They showed impious contempt toward Zorn's Coolness and now they have angered Zorn, and Zorn no longer try to reach them with His Coolness to make them ascend to Zornishness, the ultimate state of enlightenment. (Burning on a stake is the ultimate state of enlightenment.)
> Foul pagans ! How could they turn off the glory of becoming a mindless athach chanting Zorn, Zorn, Zorn with the rest of the Zornian Choir ?
> ...




I see that someone's finally getting it! YES! 

And Foleful, remember that just because the J's have loyalties it doesn't mean that interactions with them would necessarily be unfruitful. You're such a pessimist. I think it comes from rejecting Zorn.


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## Forrester (Mar 20, 2003)

*After a week off . . .*

Just had another session last night. The death! The destruction! The carnage! Ah, truly beautiful, beautiful things. 

Unfortunately, none of those things actually happened. Stupid 5-hour library trips. At least I got some heavy librarian mockage in. (Is there anyone who DOESN'T like laughing at Foleful behind his back? Or even to his face? I mean, what's the Mighty Diviner going to DO? "Oh,  Sir, please don't cast Divination at me!"??)  

On the plus side, though, I think it's safe to say that Mysteries Were Solved! A possible identity of the Evil Genius was discovered! And one two-timing backstabbing son-of-a-bitch was just possibly found traipsing around in Gulg . . . 

I'll let Morrow fill you in on the rest . . . unless Foleful wants to post a summary. It was, to a large extent, his show, as he was Mister Book-Man. 

And I have to say, these roleplay-heavy and combat-light sessions are taking their toll on me as a DM. My dice hand is starting to get all twitchy . . . but don't worry. I have a sneaking suspicion that that's all about to change.


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 20, 2003)

Well, maybe.  When the orc with two short swords turns into an, what are the things in the Epic Level Handbook, LeShay?  Or teleports away or whatever.  Still, it's our best shot so far.

I wasn't taking good enough notes to summary -- that's Morrow's job -- but I'll certainly be updating the old "Freetown Generally" book of information.  We did learn things.  Unless we're all barking completely up the wrong tree.  I'd like to come up with some contingency plan for in case Aunt Annie's theory about Auntie Ola and Auntie Entity is completely and totally wrong.  Can't think of anything though.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 20, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *Well, maybe.  When the orc with two short swords turns into an, what are the things in the Epic Level Handbook, LeShay?  Or teleports away or whatever.  Still, it's our best shot so far.
> 
> I wasn't taking good enough notes to summary -- that's Morrow's job -- but I'll certainly be updating the old "Freetown Generally" book of information.  We did learn things.  Unless we're all barking completely up the wrong tree.  I'd like to come up with some contingency plan for in case Aunt Annie's theory about Auntie Ola and Auntie Entity is completely and totally wrong.  Can't think of anything though. *




I think our standing back-up plan is still valid:

Kill 'em all, let Maglibuyet sort 'em out.

Then talk to the corpses.

Morrow


----------



## Forrester (Mar 20, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *
> 
> I think our standing back-up plan is still valid:
> 
> ...




You forget the part about making them your stinky minions.

By the way, you guys never purchased any 5th-level spell components in Gulg. Just a reminder.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 20, 2003)

Forrester said:
			
		

> *
> By the way, you guys never purchased any 5th-level spell components in Gulg. Just a reminder. *




I know.  We couldn't afford them.  Our entire savings went into broker fees and library cards, we didn't have the extra cash for spell components.  Sucks to be humanoids don't it?

Maybe those stupendously large spiders we agreed to go after will turn out to be spider-bankers and our money problems will be over.  And maybe celestials will start evacuating from my digestive tract.    

Morrow


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## jeffwik (Mar 20, 2003)

Forrester said:
			
		

> *By the way, you guys never purchased any 5th-level spell components in Gulg. Just a reminder. *




Spell components?  I don't need no stinking spell components!


We should have gotten a tuning fork for the Plane of Concordant Opposition.  I'm told it's very nice in the summertime.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 23, 2003)

*AtE Session 9*

The party is understandably nervous about turning their blood over to a relative stranger a second time.  However, Auntie Annie does seem to have compelling reasons to help them.  At Thar’s request, Foleful casts a _divination_ to determine if they will have cause to regret giving Auntie Annie their blood.  The response is a resounding no, so the party agrees to risk it.

After some discussion the party agrees that their next step will require research at the extensive Gulg library.  They have questions about sympathetic magic, mind control, and lycanthropy which they cannot answer without the library’s resources.

Thar inquires what Auntie Annie wants in return for her help.  Annie reveals that she is no longer allowed to enter the Gulg library and says if the party will share notes taken at the library about sympathetic magic with her she will pay 1,000 gp toward a library membership and prepare something to neutralize the effects of sympathetic magic based mind control.  

Talks with Auntie Annie to provide some insight into her personality.  When asked if her studies make her family proud she says, “All evidence points to the contrary, but we’ll see.”

She also mentions, “I love what I do and I think I’m pretty good at it… I’ve been slaving way at this for a while.”

Atarax detects a feeling that she is being held back and asks her if there is some higher station she would like to reach.  Auntie Annie reveals that she belongs to an order, and the Order has ranks.  She feels that she is being held back, not given the respect she deserves.

Auntie Annie reveals that the library is run by a small private organization headed by Azrael the Bugbear.  Something of a board of trustees, they oversee admissions to the library and the acquisition of new works.  She instructs the party to return soon with what they’ve discovered.

Next the party approaches the one remaining magic item broker in town, Zane.  First they must pass a series of tests administered by Zane’s assistant, Fred.  They must touch a glowing blue sphere which apparently reveals whether they are telling the truth when asked questions about their intentions.  Fred seems satisfied that they do not intend to cheat them or sell cursed items, so the party is allowed to see Zane.  

Zane proves to be a half drow.  He clearly has considerable experience with magic items, as one would expect.  After some wrangling he agrees to trade Atarax’s cloak of charisma (which he will soon be replacing with the more potent cloak being resized by Auntie Annie) and Rhuun’s rapier for a shortsword  of comparable enchantment and wand of cure light wounds.  

The party, tries to get a better deal, but Zane is the only game in town and they desperately need to get Rhuun a more appropriate weapon.

Zane also brings up the subject of a commission which Atarax had accepted from Zane’s competitor, the now dead bugbear trader named Smedley.  Atarax reveals that most of his companions were killed attempting to fulfill the commission to bring back the poison sacs of gargantuan spiders in the Hellmouth.  Zane reveals that he has taken over some of Smedley’s clients and he now needs the poison sacs to fill an order.  He presses the party to take the job, offering considerable reward, but the party has other concerns.  They promise to consider the matter and let him know when they return for the sword in a couple days.

Next they find an orcish smith who agrees, for a small fee, to size down a magical chain shirt that Rhuun took from the bugbear she beheaded a few weeks before.

Finally, the party reaches the library.  They have agreed that the prohibitive cost of membership means that they can only afford for a single party member to enter.  Foleful is elected, much to Moroku’s regret.  

Foleful negotiates with the doorman and it quickly becomes clear that the highest level of membership, Archmage status, is considerably more expensive than Auntie Annie had lead them to believe.  Usually one must posses a lower level of membership for some time before advancing to Archmage status, and the fees for bypassing the normal procedure are considerable.  Auntie Annie had suggested that the costs would be around 2,000 gp.  The party ends up paying almost 3,500 gp before Foleful is admitted.

The rest of the party goes away, their purses nearly empty.  They desperately hope that Foleful’s research proves worthwhile.

Inside, Foleful goes through an extensive and sometimes painful process of examination before his membership is accepted.  Eventually he is cleared and admitted to the library with full Archmage privileges.  He spends the rest of the day pursuing personal research in the comparative theology section.  He finds the information on comparative creation stories to be quite extensive, and never gets around to researching any of the party’s questions.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 23, 2003)

The rest of the party quickly parts ways.  Most of them head toward goblintown while Atarax heads off to work his magic in orctown.  He manages to find an orc who remembers knowing Zorn about a year ago in Freetown.  At that time Zorn had worked as a guard for Bump, the head of the orctown section of Freetown.  His training as a monk made him somewhat unusual, but Zorn had not been a particularly impressive fighter or particularly well respected by his fellow orcs.

Shortly before Atarax’s informant had left Freetown for Gulg, Zorn had been promoted, perhaps because of his friendship with Hargok, an orcish warrior who had shown up out of nowhere and quickly become popular among the orcs of Freetown.  Hargok had been good with an axe and had told good stories, but Atarax’s informant could not remember any particular reason why he had been so popular.

While Atarax gathered information Thar made contact with the goblin clerics of Gulg.  It quickly became apparent that Thar was more powerful than any of the clerics of Maglibuyet in Gulg.  Moreover, none of them had received any visions from their god.  Thar makes overtures to Kooluk, the highest ranking cleric of Kaldeki in Gulg, and by all accounts the most powerful cleric of any god in goblintown.  However, he receives a curt message that Kooluk is very busy and doesn’t have time to meet with him.

Thar does manage to find a cleric of Maglibuyet who left Freetown about a year ago.  The cleric remembers when Bloody Pulp had showed up in town shortly before he left.  The cleric reports that Bloody Pulp had, “Always known the right thing to say,” and had proved very popular, even with Dicey, the leader of the goblins in Freetown.


*14th of Charder*

The party stays in goblintown over night at a place that Atarax and Foleful had stayed during their last trip to the city.  Thar’s contacts are able to put Foleful in touch with Smudgy, a young goblin wizard who has just learned his first spells.  Foleful immediately declares that Smudgy is his new apprentice and returns with him to the library.

Due to his Archmage status Foleful is allowed to bring a single apprentice with him into the library, and he immediately sets the young goblin to work taking notes he dictates from the library’s sympathetic and ritual magic collection.

Foleful learns that the blood of a creature drained during its dying breath is particularly potent and can be used to great effect by those with a command of sympathetic magic and necromancy.  He soon finds the story of a drow warrior of legendary power who wielded a great black spiked chain.  The drow had apparently defeated a solar in single combat.  However, after the battle, at the height of his power, the drow had been stabbed in the back by his companion, an assassin.  The assassin had caught the drow warriors blood in a vessel.  Just as the warrior was passing the threshold between life and death, the assassin gathered that particularly potent blood in a separate container.  

From those last few drops of blood taken at the moment of death a sympathetic mage working for the assassin had managed to craft five Potions of Paragon Perfection, a concoction said to grant the Strength of the tarrasque, the wisdom of a dragon, and the speed of a quickling.

Foleful finds many formulas and additional information about sympathetic magic which Smudgy takes down for Auntie Annie.  However, his efforts to find a way to charm large numbers of people over a long period of time through sympathetic magic proves fruitless.

Atarax spends the day in Bugbeartown.  After much searching he discovers several bugbears who had been in Freetown the previous year.  Careful questioning reveals that about a year ago a new bugbear named Skylock had joined the bugbear community in Freetown.  He was very well liked, but for some reason he was unpopular with the higher ranking bugbears.  Gariarch in particular didn’t like him, although Skylock tried very hard to ingratiate himself with the bugbear leadership.

Much to his amusement Atarax also discovers that the reason that Gariarch hated clerics is that he, like Foleful, was a secular humanoidist.  Under other circumstances it seems possible that Gariarch and the party might have been natural, if uneasy, allies.

*15th of Charder*

The party starts the day by visiting Auntie Annie.  Foleful tells her what he discovered about necromancy and sympathetic magic and relates the story of the drow warrior.  He also turns over copies of his notes, much to Auntie Annie’s delight.

Auntie Annie gives Atarax his newly fitted cloak and gives each party member two potions.  The first is to be taken before returning to Freetown. The second should be taken when the party feels an assault on their minds.  It will help prevent any form of mind control, but will prove particularly effective against mind control derived from sympathetic magic.  The potion will retain its efficiency for a month, and should be used before then.

Auntie Annie also gives Krikara a small pouch of dust and instructs her to throw it in Auntie Em’s face.  She explains that the powder is made from a lock of Auntie Em’s hair and should break any charm.

Foleful then returns to the library and begins research in the enchantment room, particularly the mind control subsection.   He reads up on the Mass Charm enchantment and the magic item known as a Rod of Rulership.  His research reveals that the Rod of Rulership is often crafted using components from creatures who can themselves charm.

Foleful turns his attention to creatures with the ability to charm: Nymphs, many creatures from the lower planes including Devils (particularly Erinyes) and Demons (particularly Succubi), Barghests, Vapor Boars…

The last two catch his attention.  Barghests are shapeshifting creatures that often disguise themselves as goblins.  Greater Barghests can take on a form almost eight feet tall and three hundred pounds.  Not unlike the strange bugbear form that Egor took on in Foleful’s thought capture.

Vapor Boars are multi-legged, tentacled, blue dog-like creatures that exist in the deep Hellmouth.  Their potent mind control abilities allow them to charm whole villages.  In fact, Foleful remembers the cat-demons mentioning seeing creatures that matched the vapor boars description in the Hellmouth.

Reminded of the Rakshasas, Foleful looks them up.  He discovers that, as the party had discovered, they are highly resistant to weapons and effectively immune to magic.  He discovers that a cleric of purest good can bless a crossbow bolt to do serious damage to Rakshasas, not much help in the middle of the Underdark.

The party meets up that evening and Foleful makes his report.  Atarax makes the suggestion that the Barghests, with their soul sucking Eeevil, would be natural allies for followers of Nerull.

The party returns to Auntie Annie’s shop.  Krikara asks what to do if, after being released from magical compulsion, Auntie Em demands that they prove that Auntie Annie sent them.  Auntie Annie advises that Krikara tell Auntie Em about the time the sisters killed ten bugbears and played tug-of-war with their large intestines.  

The party describes Foleful’s research and begin discussing theories.  They suggest that Vapor Boar and Attach blood could provide the basis for the mind control and strength effects that they have observed.  Auntie Annie agrees that it is theoretically possible, but that still does not explain how the magics remain effective over an extended period of time.  A single dying creature could only provide a small amount of blood necessary to create the effects the party describes.  The Evil Genius would require nearly limitless supplies of blood in order to effect the sheer number of humanoids involved.

The party begins throwing around theories.  This is clearly beyond the realm of regular extension magic.  A time stop effect might keep the dying creature at the moment of death, but there would be no way to harvest the blood.

Then Krikara has a breakthrough.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 23, 2003)

Krikara directs the party’s attention to one of the books they retrieved from Gariarch’s lair.



			
				Forrester said:
			
		

> *From the back of “Pressure Points: Life Energy Management through Mechanical Manipulations”, by Ilvana
> 
> The long-term maintenance of clients, especially with minimal magical interference, has long been a challenge to both hobbyists and trained professionals. The prolonged torture of the naturally weak and vulnerable is especially difficult. In this book Ilvana (Author of “Evisceration Without Death” and “Taking Their Time”) takes the reader on an exciting journey through the torture of a pregnant female giant, an elderly male drow elf, and a goblin girl. You’ll learn:
> ·	Nine easy steps to prepare your client for disembowelment
> ...





Ilvana would be capable of keeping a creature at the verge of death almost indefinitely.  The missing step to providing the appropriate components may not be a magical effect, but the unprecedented skill of the depraved Erinyes inquisitor.    The party thinks over the possibility and admits that it could be the answer.  Ilvana seems unlikely to be the Evil Genius herself, but would be just the kind of help that the Evil Genius would recruit.  Moreover, Atarax remembers hearing that Ilvana has a particular talent with poisons.  What if she is Zane’s mysterious client? 

Auntie Annie is clearly troubled.  Under pressure from the party she reveals that she does know two people who would be capable of using the process that the party has worked out- a pair of green hags, powerful members of the order to which Aunie Annie and Auntie Em belong.  One of the hags specializes in charms and transmutation and the other is obsessed with secrecy and protection.  

“Well,” observes Foleful, “Take charms and transmutation and add secrecy and protection and you get the Evil Genius.”

Auntie Annie leaves the party to retrieve something from the back of her shop.   She returns with an envelope.  “Give this to Auntie Em.  It contains a lock of hair from each of the hags.”

The party presses Auntie Annie for their names.  “Auntie Ola and Auntie Entity,” she replies.

“This isn’t going to turn out to be a family thing, after all?” Asks Thar.  Auntie Annie stares him down and changes the subject.

The party leaves the shop discussing their next move.  Zane mentioned that he would be meeting with agents of the client soon, and would set a time when they could expect the venom sacks.  What is to stop the party from waylaying the agents of the Evil Genius when they leave Zane’s shop?


----------



## Morrow (Mar 23, 2003)

*16th of Charder*

Krikara spends the day watching Zane’s shop, but never sees anyone suspicious.

Foleful spends the day researching the party’s possible opponents in the library.  He reads up on Green Hags, Athachs, Vapor Boars, and Erinyes.  He is even able to find a little on Ilvana herself.  She is reported to be a professional, very dedicated to her work, and always looking for new challenges exploring the line between life and death.

Foleful also researches powerful anti-divination magics.  He discovers that magics able to bypass such wards are still beyond his reach.

Foleful researches lycanthropy, and consults with a library member who is an expert on such things named Azimov.  He discovers the existence of rare demonic strains of lyanthropy.  There are rumors that the original lycanthropes were demons themselves.   Foleful explains to Azimov about Pankwigs bar, there is contagion there but the regulars don’t seem to contract the disease.  Azimov expliains that many different things can trigger latent lycanthropy.  On the surface, the full moon is a common trigger.  Extreme rage is always a trigger.  Sometimes proximity to the originator of the strain will trigger the transformation.  If the originator of the contagion never went near the bar, he would be able to hide the source of the contagion.  

Foleful discovers that cure disease will usually cure lycanthropy, at least before the first change.  Fiendish strains of lycanthropy typically have unusual effects.  Some are uncurable.  Some grant the lycanthropes fiendish abilities.  This would explain the enhanced speed and unexplained claws.

While Foleful continues his research Atarax is able to turn up rumors that there are shapeshifters operating in Gulg, perhaps even connect to Borga, the bugbear ruler of Gulg.  

*17th of Charder*

Thar receives word that Kooluk, the Cleric of Kaldeki is ready to see him.  Thar sends back word that he would really like to meet with Kooluk, but he is currently very busy.  Perhaps next time?

Foleful spends some time researching elven artifacts, particularly bucklers.  He discovers that all powerful artifacts block divination about their location, but he cannot find any references to an effect broad enough to explain the failure of all divination about Sanctuary.

Foleful discovers a listing for a buckler that matches Krikara’s description.  There is a legend about it which predates the split between the surface elves and the drow.  At that time the cods Lolth, Lumilor, and Corellon Larethian were on good terms.  Lumilor wore a full suit of armor, including a buckler which matches Krikara’s description.  The legend mentions a tryst and jealousy between the trio.  Lumilor was slain, although it is unclear whether Lolth or Corellon was responsible.  His armor and weapons were scattered and lost forever.

Foleful can find nothing about destroying the buckler.

While Foleful continues his research the party meets with Zane.  He has Rhuun’s sword and gives it to her.  Thar accepts the commission to retrieve the spider poison sacs.  Zane gives Thar a small, temporary bag of holding with which to transport the sacks.  He needs at least two sacks, more if he can get them.  Zane also tells him about a lair of large wyverns in another part of the Hellmouth from which he also hopes to secure venom.  Zane mentions in passing that he expects to meet with his client the next day, and will set up a date for delivery in a month.

Thar also buys an enchanted pen that will allow Smudgy, Foleful’s new apprentice to take notes more quickly and clearly.

*18th of Charder*

Foleful returns to the library.  Krikara stakes out Zanes shop while the rest of the party waits out of sight.  Zane’s first customer of the day is a bugbear who buys an enchanted greatsword.  Zane’s second customer is an orc who wears two shortswords and wears light armor.  He does not seem to carry anything into or out of the shop.  Krikara follows him down the street, where he meets two more orcs, also carrying shortswords and wearing familiar equipment.  The trio heads in the direction of the secret exit from Gulg through which the party entered.

Krikara goes to warn the party.  They prepare to follow, Krikara leading and the others staying well back.  Thar casts sending.  “Mikek is here.  He’s heading for the secret exit.  Join us now.” 

“Now we’ve got him.”


----------



## Forrester (Mar 23, 2003)

Hell. Yeah. 

Now THAT is a Story Hour!


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 23, 2003)

I must point out, though, that Azimov is an expert on *everything*.


----------



## Forrester (Mar 23, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *I must point out, though, that Azimov is an expert on everything. *




Not *everything*. Wasn't there a question you asked him that he didn't know the answer to? I recall him saying that you needed to talk to that wizard who spends his spare time Flying around the Hellmouth all invisible-like. 

Issac does have a 17 Wis, though. Yowza.


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 24, 2003)

Forrester said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Not everything. Wasn't there a question you asked him that he didn't know the answer to? I recall him saying that you needed to talk to that wizard who spends his spare time Flying around the Hellmouth all invisible-like.
> 
> Issac does have a 17 Wis, though. Yowza. *




Yes, it was an honor to meet him.

So is he a goblin or what?  And is he paraplegic, or not?


----------



## Forrester (Mar 24, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Yes, it was an honor to meet him.
> 
> So is he a goblin or what?  And is he paraplegic, or not? *




Kobold. Not paraplegic.


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 24, 2003)

Of course, being a kobold is like of like being paraplegic.

Man, Isaac Asimov -- sorry, Issac Azimov -- and me go to the same library!  We read the same books!  Granted, Azimov reads them to check and see if he made any mistakes when he wrote them, but still!  Really makes you think.


----------



## Forrester (Mar 24, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *Of course, being a kobold is like of like being paraplegic.
> 
> Man, Isaac Asimov -- sorry, Issac Azimov -- and me go to the same library!  We read the same books!  Granted, Azimov reads them to check and see if he made any mistakes when he wrote them, but still!  Really makes you think. *




Yeah, well, that's probably not what you should be thinking about at the moment . I'm working on a certain trio's stat blocks at the moment . . . buhahahahahaha. 

You know, Gariarch had some good stuff on him.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 24, 2003)

Forrester said:
			
		

> *
> Will the party finally kick Mikek's candy ass? *




We certainly intend to try.   I seem to have successfully internalized my goblin character.  I've gotten to the point where the prospect of D&D combat always fills me with foreboding.



			
				Forrester said:
			
		

> *
> 
> And finally, will Atarax let Ilvana tie him up and spank him, just for the storytelling potential? *




This I have to see.

Morrow


----------



## Forrester (Mar 25, 2003)

*T-minus 32 hours.*

Why am *I* nervous?! Shees.


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 27, 2003)

*Re: T-minus 32 hours.*



			
				Forrester said:
			
		

> *Why am *I* nervous?! Shees. *




Well, now you know.  You were nervous because deep down in your tiny little GM heart, you knew that Mikek was going to* suffer unto death!*

Hoody-hoo!  We cut him into tiny pieces, we scooped out his brains, we poured alchemist's fire on his corpse...

When we were done all that was left of Mikek was a *dark spot* on the tunnel floor!

That's happened to so many of my characters in the past.  It was nice to do it to an NPC.


----------



## Forrester (Mar 27, 2003)

*Re: Re: T-minus 32 hours.*



			
				jeffwik said:
			
		

> *
> Well, now you know.  You were nervous because deep down in your tiny little GM heart, you knew that Mikek was going to suffer unto death!
> 
> Hoody-hoo!  We cut him into tiny pieces, we scooped out his brains, we poured alchemist's fire on his corpse...
> *




Note to all you high-level rogues out there . . . fighting in a 4'  high, 4' wide corridor, not the best move. Not the best place to be. Youch! 

And now you guys actually have real magic items, and treasure, and such. You finally stole the Batmobile. Or at least a Utility Belt. Damn!


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 27, 2003)

> *Will Kriggle the kobold paladin's death ever be avenged? *




Hey, now, I do believe we've taken care of that one.


----------



## Forrester (Mar 27, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *
> 
> Hey, now, I do believe we've taken care of that one. *




Heh -- I've always meant to say, will the death of his TRIBE ever be avenged. Yeah, that's it. 

Of course, it has, but you don't know that.


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 28, 2003)

*The Wide World of Melee*

Hello, and welcome back.  This is the Seer Hawkwind, providing live, up-to-the-minute coverage, and with me as always is Erk Stronginthearm, former three-time middleweight champion of the Dwarrowdelver Clan Weaponsmithing Company Invitational Gladiatorial Challenge.

_Great to be here, Hawk._

Erk, today we'll be starting off with a real barn-burner, a highly anticipated match up between Mikek, Trusted Lieutenant of the Evil Genius, and some guys.  So, are we talking grudge match?

_You bet.  The dispute between the Evil Genius and some guys has been building for months now.  I'm sure we all remember the disastrous Gariarch/some guys match up, a bitter defeat that some guys have since blamed on the Evil Genius.  And now it's payback time._

The leader of some guys would have to be Thar, a goblin cleric.

*(ARCHIVE FOOTAGE -- THAR IN ACTION)*

_Thar is an interesting combatant.  On the one hand, he's a puny little goblin, the kind I killed seven at a time during the Odium Palace Tournaments.  But on the other hand, he's been serving his pathetic god for some time, and has built up to a relatively impressive 8th level._

Eighth level?  An eighth level goblin?

_Oh, it gets better than that, Hawk.  While his melee abilities are comical at best -- I'm not even sure if he carries a weapon -- his magic is nothing to sneeze at.  As a cleric of the dark godling Malgoo...  Malgubi... as a cleric of the goblin-god, Thar channels negative energy, which translates into some pretty impressive touch-attack spells.  We're talking an 18 DEX and Weapon Finesse (Touch Attacks).  Fully buffed, we're talking on the order of +11 on the touch attack to deliver the spell, and it's held in-hand if he misses.  We're talking a burned Freedom of Movement for 4d8+8 in negative energy._

Hoo-doggie, that's some spicy negative energy!

_It'll put a crimp in any elf's coiffure, that's for damn sure.  Now, Thar's assistant is Rhuun, also a goblin._

*(STILL IMAGE OF RHUUN DECAPITATING THE BUGBEAR PATROL LEADER WITH HER DAGGER AND DWARVEN THROWING AXE)*

She a spellcaster, Erk?

_No indeed, Rhuun is the closest thing some guys have to a death-dealing melee machine.  Interesting history here -- Rhuun is actually an escaped slave from the drow breeding pits, and an ardent follower of Magloo... of the goblin-god._

Which goblin god is that, Erk?

_The main one.  Anyway, Rhuun is only sixth level --_

"Only?"

_Impressive for a goblin, yes, but trivial compared to what the Evil Genius is packing.  Rhuun's wielding a magical shortsword today, just recently purchased in the trading city of Gulg.  Normally she wields a dagger in her off-hand, but given the level of the opposition she's going for two-handed on that short sword.  We're talking a +12 melee attack for 1d6+8 damage, plus a 1d6 sneak attack._

Ho, ho, doctor, break out the hickory switch!

_You said it, Hawk.  Next in the lineup of some guys is Atarax, goblin bard._

*(ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE OF ATARAX SINGING THE SONG ABOUT EATING A PURPLE WORM, NO AUDIO)*

Goblin bard?  Call Aunt Nancy, the crazies are in the chicken coop!

_Atarax isn't much for melee, but has an impressive +5 charisma bonus as well as the Spell Focus (Enchantment) feat.  Glitterdust is one of his signature spells, but I'm sure we'll be seeing him break out some of his trademark Failed Charm Monster attempts, possibly Confusion._

Atarax is far from the principal spellcaster among some guys, though, Erk, am I right?

_You’re quite correct.  That’s an honor that goes to either Foleful the sorcerer –_

The xvart.

_Wait, he’s a xvart?  You mean one of those godless heathen –_

*(BROADCAST INTERRUPTED.  DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SETS.  THE STATION IS EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.)*

_– and if I ever meet one of those unbelievers, I’ll –_

*(BROADCAST INTERRUPTED.  DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SETS.  THE STATION IS EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.)*

_– until he’s blue for a different reason!_

You said a mouthful, Erk.  But this isn’t the time or place.  What’s Foleful bringing to the fight?

_Aside from a dangerous and subversive heresy, you mean?  Well, we’re looking at an extremely variant sorcerer here.  At eighth level, Foleful knows four fourth-level spells: Summon Monster IV,  Divination, Arcane Eye, and Solid Fog.  His best direct-attack spell is Bolt of Conjuring, an unusual choice._

How so?

_Bolt of Conjuring is a combination magic missile/summon monster spell.  The single target suffers Force damage – in Foleful’s case, 8d4, and is attacked by a minor summoned monster.  No save._

Well, better call up the Sage – that sounds pretty powerful for a third-level spell!

_More powerful than Lightning Bolt?  Fireball?  Haste?  Is it more powerful than Haste, Hawk?_

Touche.  Now, there’s another sorcerer in some guys.

_That’s right, Moroku the orc.  He’s under the same basic deal as Foleful: extra spells, more limited in scope.  He’s also a level lower._

*(PUBLICITY STILL OF MOROKU QUESTIONING A TROLL ON THE NATURE OF POWER)*

And what a difference a level makes, eh, Erk?

_It’s too early to tell, really.  Moroku’s bringing some heavy attack spells to bear: Magic Missile, Lightning Bolt, Fireball, and the ever-popular Dispel Magic._

Poom!  Wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley!  Or would I?

_You could probably get away, Hawk, given that Moroku is on the “Old” side of the Aging Effects table, pushing Venerable.  That’s –3 to all his physical attributes, and a boost to his Int, Wis, and Cha.  Moroku is currently also the only Medium-sized member of some guys currently.  We’ll be seeing quite a bit of stooping._

Now I know it’s all in the wrist, Erk, but aren’t some guys more than a little spellcaster-heavy?

_I’m told there’s one more member of the team, but she’s never been photographed or interviewed._

*(NO IMAGE AVAILABLE)*

Ah, a roguey type, then?  Lock up the silver and hide the good china, the rogues are coming to roost!

_Couldn’t say, couldn’t say.  Some guys’ roster includes someone named Krikara, but we have no information._

So that’s some guys.  In a moment, we’ll bring up the statistics for Team Evil Genius, but first, a few words from the good people at 3M: the Mithral Mining Monopoly, controlling Mithral production and distribution in a price-fixing cartel for over eight centuries!


----------



## Morrow (Mar 28, 2003)

*Re: The Wide World of Melee*



			
				jeffwik said:
			
		

> *The leader of some guys would have to be Thar, a goblin cleric.
> 
> (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE -- THAR IN ACTION)
> 
> ...




Look Ma, he called me the leader!  I'm moving up in the world now.

Morrow


----------



## jeffwik (Mar 30, 2003)

*Wide World of Melee*

We're now just minutes away from the initiatve roll, and it seems to me Team Evil Genius is going to have their work cut out for them.  We’re looking at a hot fight, hot enough to peel house paint.

_Sure enough, Hawk, sure enough.  But TEG is no slouch in the combat department.  _

Let’s take a look at the numbers.

_First up is a non-league member going by the alias “Mikek.”  Mikek is something of an oddity on the circuit – he’s not just a doppleganger, he’s a super-mega-ultra doppelganger. _

Hold on to your drawers!  Care to unpack that for us, Erk?

_It’s a grim sight.  Mikek’s a member of the Shapechanger type, and possesses an extra suite of immunities on top of that, making him proof against several of Atarax’s spells.  Worse for some guys is his amorphous nature. _

Amorphous?

_He’s one sick puppy, Hawk.  As a super-mega-ultra doppelganger, Mikek has no discernable anatomy, regenerates one hit point a round, and does not need to breathe. _

Ouch!  A ding dong knock down setup.

_Exactly.  With no discernable anatomy, we’re talking no critical hits and no sneak attack damage, plus total neutralization of one of Foleful’s favorite tactics – the swarm of summoned stirges.  Combine that with the evasion Mikek receives from his levels of rogue, and things are tough for some guys. _

Tough hardly says it.

_That’s true, Hawk – on top of all those immunities, Mikek regenerates as if he were a troll and doesn’t need to breathe. _

“Doesn’t need to breathe…”  What’s the significance there?

_Well, consider Mikek’s regeneration.  All damage except fire and acid is subdual. _

Check.

_As I learned during the Marzipan Riots of ’89, there are times when you just don’t have the fire or acid handy, and can’t deal real damage to your foe. _

Right…

_But there are ways of dealing with an opponent that bypass hit point damage – death effects and disintegrate are two of them.  Drowning is a third.  And guess which of those three are going to be easier to manage in the field?  You cut up the target, once it’s out, you cut up the target and dunk the biggest piece in a bucket.  Rounds go by, it drowns, it’s dead. _

Handy.

_And Mikek’s immune. _

Handy for Mikek then.  Thar's situation is his back is against the wall, his shirt tail's on fire and the bill collector's at the door.  Any bright spots?

_Well, Mikek’s a real threat with his bow – a nifty little enchanted number called Surestrike.  His AC is absurd, he’s got fifteen hit dice, boatloads of magic items and immunity.  But on the plus side he’s not a damage-dealer.  His short sword attacks are +17/+12, but without sneak attack damage he’s pumping out a piddling d6+6 or so.  The key thing some guys are going to have to remember is don’t let him get those sneak attack dice in. _

Hook a youie, head back to the house, and let’s take a look at Mikek’s flanking partners.  Who else is in Team Evil Genius?

_Out of the dozen or so members of the TEG, only two are going to be assisting Mikek in this fight.  We’re looking at Targak and Zardle, two doppelganger rogues, one fifth level and one second level. _

Pshaw!  The Texans with their 10 gallon hats and their Willie Nelson headbands can tell you, don’t bring a second-level rogue to a eighth-level rogue fight.

_You said it, I think.  Targak and Zardle nearly match Mikek in basic damage-dealing capabilities – around +10 to attack, which is more than enough to land a blow on most of, uh, some guys, and again, roughly a d6+5 damage.  Their Armor Classes are lower, though not by much, just because they don’t have the loads of magical buffing Mikek has. _

And they’re sneak-attack boys?

_You bet.  Never underestimate the damage flanking rogues can output in a round.  Main weakness for these two is their hit points – they don’t have any to speak of. _

This is why this whole fight swings, like one of those pendulum things...

_Right.  Some guys have absolutely got to contain the sneak-attack output of TEG. _

And for a look at how likely that’s going to be, we’re going live to Forsaken Widow, sorceress-queen, savant, and chosen of the New Moon, for analysis.  Forsaken Widow?

*(LIVE VIA SATELLITE FROM HER TOWER ON THE MOON: FORESAKEN WIDOW)*

Who dares disturb me?  Speak now, puny mortal, lest I cut out your tongue and teach it to speak for you! 

This is the Seer Hawkwind, Forsaken Widow.  Any thoughts on the upcoming TEG matchup against some guys?

Silence!  I, who alone among the Children of Luna know the secrets of Whisper-His-Name, who have supped at the table of Raski the Queen of Spiders, I shall pronounce the wisdom and the measure!  Silence, by the Oath of the Silver and by the Bird Who Sits On the End of the World! 

Righto!

In the darkness beneath the world there is a tunnel, a vein that runs through the living rock.  Here the weight of centuries bears down upon the traveler and none may pass without paying their due respects to the gods of pain and misery. 

Don’t count sheep, as they say.

But one may pass through this tunnel at a time, and he must take care, for the tightess of the tunnel restricts the motion of all but the least constrained entities. 

So we’ve wobbled into Weirdsville.

I speak of a four-foot-diameter tube, Hawkwind, insignificant worm.  Such is the weight of all things.  This passage connects the town Gulg to the blasted ruins of Freetown by way of the Hellmouth.  There is one way out and one way in.  The small size of the passage will hamper movement of mortals through it, though not for the participants in the fight as much as for some: their Small size will lessen their difficulties.  The pathetic weakling Moroku, the orc hedge-wizard, will have the greatest trouble.  Missile fire and line of effect for puny arcane magic will likewise be hampered, as triangulation is rendered an impossibility.  Similarly, the foolish xvart insect’s summoned helpers will find their own movements hampered as well.  This is the wisdom of Forsaken Widow, words you are not worthy to hear but which I in my mercy permit you to receive. 

If the slime known to your limited perceptions as Mikek and its lackeys succeed in surrounding the foolish mortals who challenge them, they will surely be the victors.  I have seen the results of this conflict written in the stars and in the blood of my enemies, but the non-disclosure agreement I signed prevents me from sharing this esoteric knowledge with you. 

Sounds nasty enough to gag a buzzard.  Any other thoughts?

Damn your eyes, Hawkwind!  On your knees, child of the West!  Bow down before me!  You shall bow down!!  This is not the end!!  We shall meet again!!

*(END SATELLITE FEED)*

Right.  Forsaken Widow, class act, huh Erk?

_Any more omnipotent and she’d be a cliomancer.  Now, as she said, I’m predicting that some guys are going to try to go after Mikek – this is a grudge match, after all – and find themselves severely sneak-attacked by his able flanking buddies.  It’s a classic gambit._

So call the doctor, call the police, call a psychic...  Well, the old clock-on-the-clown’s-belly tells me it’s nearly time for the initiative roll.  And we will be there.  This is Seer Hawkwind for the Wide World of Melee.  Back after these messages.


----------



## Morrow (Mar 31, 2003)

*Re: The Wide World of Melee*



			
				jeffwik said:
			
		

> *Fully buffed, we're talking on the order of +11 on the touch attack to deliver the spell, and it's held in-hand if he misses.  We're talking a burned Freedom of Movement for 4d8+8 in negative energy.
> *




Actually, now that I think about it, Thar's at +11 to those touch attacks before any buffing spells are applied.  Take that!

Okay, I'm really just bumping this up to the top. 

Morrow


----------



## Forrester (Apr 3, 2003)

*So close, and yet so far.*

SOOO close to a TPK. And yet, no players died. Sad, really. 

This just in: 
The Hellmouth is dangerous. 

This also just in: 
Advanced HD Grells are REALLY dangerous.


----------



## Morrow (Apr 3, 2003)

*Re: So close, and yet so far.*



			
				Forrester said:
			
		

> *SOOO close to a TPK. And yet, no players died. Sad, really.
> *




And no characters either, thank goodness.

Grappling creatures suck.  Ten tentacled grappling creatures with paralyzing touch suck so much more.

Foleful!  The NPCs are laughing at you again!

Morrow


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## jeffwik (Apr 6, 2003)

Welcome back.  I am the Seer Hawkwind.  Write your senator a letter, because we’re mere moments away from the initiative roll.  The players are on the field, and as you can see there are some guys on either side of Team Evil Genius: Moroku, Atarax, and Foleful down the corridor in front of them and Rhuun, Thar, and… according to the program, the mythical Krikara, behind them.  It’s looking like an ambush attempt.  Erk, any thoughts?

_One thing that’s absolutely crucial to bear in mind during this fight is –_

No time for that now, we’re going live to our ethereal true seeing cameras outside Gulg!  Here comes the banana!

_What?_

So Atarax has won the initiative roll, and it looks like he’s letting loose with a spell for starters.

_I’m guessing a failed charm monster, Hawk._

No, no, it looks like a confusion, placed just on the far side of TEG.  Odd placement, little bit of the old hurricane.

_Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some serious fog-of-war right now in that corridor, Hawk.  Remember, goblinoids have only 60’ darkvision, and some guys are 80’ in front and 65’ behind TEG, respectively.  Still, the spell did catch two of them._

That’d be Targak and Mikek.  Hoo doggie, here comes the madness!  Or not, for Mikek appears to be shrugging off the effect and he’s responding with a shot from his bow, a shot aimed not at Atarax, but Moroku!

_Smart tacticals from the doppelganger.  Moroku’s per-round damage output is heinous.  Still, with Targak confused, TEG has already taken a heavy hit.  Their strategy does revolve around sneak attacks and flanking._

Rhuun is taking the opportunity now to charge, separating her from Thar…

_May be a mistake._

Seeing some melee between her and Zardle, looking inconclusive.  

_Is that a bow Zardle’s holding?_

Must be, must be, must be because my, that is pretty.  Mikek has just backflipped over Zardle’s head, kipping off the low ceiling of the tunnel, and ended up between her and Thar.  He’s got his blade out, no mistake, and – is that a hit?

_It’s a palpable hit, Hawk.  I’d say around fifteen points of damage, good roll for Mikek._

Palpable and nasty.  Rhuun must be thanking Maglibuyet for that bow in Zardle’s hands, else we’d have been in sneak attack territory.  And now she’s tumbling as well, up up and away, or at least over, and is now past Mikek with Thar just behind her.

_Not a bad move – get out from between the rogues!_

What*ev*er.  Back among some guys’ spellcasters, Foleful has sent a flock of summoned stirges toward Targak and blocked the passage with a water elemental dire wolf.

_Wouldn’t want to be that poor thing.  It can barely move in the tight quarters of the passage._

Now Moroku is coming in – he threw a few magic missiles at Targak while Zardle and Mikek were preoccupied -- and ouch, momma, I don’t want to go to school today!  That’s why you bring the sorcerer.

_Sure, that fireball scorched up nice, Hawk, but remember, all of TEG is evasion-capable.  And, yes, Mikek and Targak are unscathed.  Relatively unscathed in Targak’s case – he’s taken some serious spell damage, not to mention the stirges._

But not Zardle!  And, softened by Rhuun and several arrows I just noticed sticking out of him from some unknown source, down he drops, attercop, attercop!  Shouldn’t swim in the deep end, second-leveler.  We’re witnessing an unprecedented shift!

_Uh-huh._

Atarax is shouting something…

_Can’t make it out… no surprise there._

So right now we’ve got Mikek, undamaged, with Targak –

_-- confused and harassed by summoned stirges, I’d say around five points of Con drain already –_

 -- Targak his only ally.  And on either side, danger.  Not pretty.

_No wonder he’s bolting._

Speaking of bolts, Erk, where are those arrows coming from?  TEG is starting to look like paper at a hole-punch party!

_Guessing it’s coming from someone hostile to TEG, Hawk.  It’s hefty bow-damage._

You think some guys have a hidden archer?

_Did I not just say that, Hawk?_

Shut up.

_You shut up._

Five rounds in and we've witnessed a remarkable reversal.  We’ll be back.


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## Gez (Apr 7, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *You’re quite correct.  That’s an honor that goes to either Foleful the sorcerer –
> 
> The xvart.
> 
> ...




What about Raxivort ? Don't he exist in that world ?


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## jeffwik (Apr 10, 2003)

*Stupid Raxivort.*

I curse the software with the holy fires that burn in the cheese-pits of the Moon, for I lost my original ending to *Wild World of Melee*.  Therefore I’ll put this up in bits.



So we’re back, and feel free to freshen your drink as we recap.  Two-thirds of Team Evil Genius is down after a mere five rounds in this highly anticipated grudge match against some guys.  Holy cow, eh Erk?

_That’s one way to put it._

Call the curator, because we’ve seen it all so far.  Failed charm monster, confusion, magic missiles, summoned stirges, and that’s just from the arcane casters.

_I’m standing by my earlier statement, by the way, Hawk.  That confusion did more to turn the tide than any other single-round action in this combat._

You’re entitled to your opinion, Erk, in fact I would defend to the death your right to say that.  But Atarax, Foleful, and Moroku are far from the only forces some guys are bringing to the table.

_They’re glad of that, I’ll bet._

Oh, mama, I’ll take a piece of that.  The leader of some guys, Thar, and his sidekick Rhuun… they’ve also put the hurt on Mikek’s boys.  Not to mention the mysterious dark smudge on the camera lens.

_Krikara, you mean?_

I believe Krikara to be an urban legend, Erk.  Like Batman, or the Electoral College.

_The what?_

I’d love to stick around and talk politics like a couple of wonks, Erk, but this is the *Wide World of Melee*, not *Seer Hawkwind’s Policy Roundtable*.

_Wasn’t *Seer Hawkwind’s Policy Roundtable* cancelled last season?_

It’s on hiatus, Erk.  Hiatus.  Now, back to the action!  When we went to the break Mikek was bolting, running back to Gulg down the tunnel.  He tumbled past Thar and Rhuun, and he’s making for a bend in the tunnel a hundred feet down from the action.  Some guys are close behind, led by Foleful.

_Yes, of course._

Now slap my face and call me a ninny, Erk, but I’m confused.  Foleful is a xvart – how is he able to not only keep with but steadily outpace some other guys?  Does he wear boots of speed?

_Not hardly, Hawk, not hardly.  Foleful is actually riding around on Ibelful, his air elemental familiar._

An air elemental familiar?  Is that allowed?

_That’s right, a Small one.  Ibelful is an Improved familiar, under the Feat regulations.  While Foleful is riding Ibelful, the pair’s combined speed is 65’, more than twice any other guy._

Impressive!

_Funny story about Ibelful: the elemental’s name is “Elemental” in the xvart language.  So it’s Elemental the elemental._

…

_…_

…

_Why are discussing Foleful to such length?_

Dunno.  But I’m sure there’s a good reason.  Now, as Foleful fires off his bolt of conjuring at Mikek, we can see the leader of TEG is not looking good.

_True enough.  Blood is running freely from those arrow wounds._

Wait – where did those arrow wounds come from?  Let’s take a look at the tape.

*INSTANT REPLAY SHOWING MIKEK SUFFERING SEVERAL ARROW SHOTS WHILE FIGHTING RHUUN AND TUMBLING AWAY*

Where are those coming from?  Can we get another angle?

*ANOTHER ANGLE*

Hm.

_The arrows are coming out of an empty spot of hallway, Hawk._

I can see that.  Don’t you think I can see that?  I can see that.

_And there’s another arrow coming at Mikek now!_

Shut up.

_You shut up._


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## jeffwik (Apr 10, 2003)

_And meanwhile some guys are following Mikek down the hall – Atarax, Thar, and Rhuun._

Where’s Moroku?

_Well, Hawk, Moroku is unlike the rest of some guys, in that he’s a Medium-sized creature, as you’ll recall.  Given the tight quarters of these tunnels, combined with the knee injuries Moroku suffered in the offseason, I wouldn’t be surprised if his movement speed has taken a massive hit._

Yes, he’s trundling along, but several rounds behind his fellows.  Meanwhile Rhuun has her sword out and she’s running for blood – better keep an eye on the robin’s eggs!

_I’m not sure I follow you, Hawk._

Mikek is nearly at the bend now, and – poom!  Foleful’s filled the bend with a solid fog.  And Mikek’s trapped inside!

_What’s that dark smudge near Mikek?_

What?  Where?

_It’s gone now._

Can we go to the tape?  No time, no time, I’m being told.  The goblins are collecting at the edge of the fog as Mikek – is he drinking a potion?

_Hard to tell through that fog._

And now there’s a summoned fire elemental dire ape, courtesy Doctor Foleful and the Electric Mayhem!  It’s blocking the hallway almost totally, squeezed inside the fog and making a full attack on the hated Mikek!

_Fire elemental dire ape, there’s an interesting summoning choice.  Not too many hit points, not much of an armor class, not even a very good set of attack bonuses, but if it manages to connect we’re talking two claws at a d6+7, a bite at d8+4, if it connects with both claws another 2d6+14 rend, and a d4 fire damage on each and every one of those four attacks.  That’s an average (an average!) of 60.5 points of damage. With good enough rolls, Mikek could go from unhurt to dropped in one round._

Ape’s missed, Erk.

_And that could also happen._

From down the tunnel Moroku is sending off a shot – pretty much everything is at medium range for Moroku – and there goes the fog!

_Dispel magic plus solid fog: a winning combination._

Mikek is bolting, now that the fog is gone – oh no he’s not!

_Now that time I’m sure I saw something. Can we look at the tape?_

*INSTANT REPLAY: FRAME-BY-FRAME SUPER SLO-MO OF MIKEK STARTING TO MOVE PAST THE BEND IN THE TUNNEL, THEN FALLING DOWN HALFWAY THROUGH.*

There!  In frame 45:32:01?

_That dark smudge must be Krikara tripping him._

Foleful’s dismissed the dire ape, allowing Rhuun access to Mikek.  Stabbity stabbity.  She’s backed up by Atarax and Thar, by magic missiles and inflict serious wounds and this, I think, is the end of Mikek.  He’s down!  Mikek is down!

_We’ll be back for post-fight analysis right after this._

I say that, Erk.

_Shut up._

You shut up.


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## jeffwik (Apr 10, 2003)

Stick a fork in this one, it’s done!  Some guys have gutted Team Evil Genius.  As they hastily loot the bodies of their fallen foes, we turn to our in-studio panel of experts for post-fight analysis.  First up is Annapolychromasia Coultaeityouviaene, priestess of Hanali Celanil, from the tree-top elven city of Aelvaeoniaemaouia, and a regular guest on *Seer Hawkwind’s Policy Roundtable*.

_I greet you, human._

Yes.  Looking good, Annapolychromasia.

_Clearly the fight is not yet complete, for surely these pig-races will now turn upon each other, goblin against orc, orc against dark creeper, everyone against xvart, until only one remains to die alone and unbeloved by the true gods.  Such is the plight of all the pig-races of the Underdark._

I’d like to take this opportunity to say that Annapolychromasia Coultaeityouviaene’s viewpoints do not reflect those of *Wide World of Melee* or its producers.

_ The thing I like about the drow is I think they hate the pig-races.   _

Could we return to the matter at hand, please?

_It’s more efficient.  When the aelven nations rise up and shake off their oppressors, crushing human faces under a boot forever, as Corellon and Hanali want, all the pig-races shall hunted down and eliminated, a final solution to the millennia during which the true sapients have been forced to undergo the humiliation of the pig-races’ consumption of land, food, metals, and other vital natural resources.  Take the aelvenian invastion of Mount Gundabad in 15 431 257, seventeen centuries ago (aelvenianish caldendar).  There were those – a few pig-sympathizers and liberals – who claimed we were going to war not to free the humans from goblin oppression, but for the mithral deposits.  And I say, what’s wrong with going to war over mithral?  We need mithral._

Er…

_Sooner or later all the pig-races will be gone, one way or another – humans, dwarves, goblins, bugbears, halflings, gnomes, orcs, xvarts, dark creepers, kobolds, mongrelmen, nilbogs, and so on.  Hobgoblins are extinct already.  Corellon gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. Corellon said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.' _

But…

_It’s a waste of aelvenianishnik resources to cleanse the Underdark of the pig-races before the pig-races’ internecine squabbling has been given time to minimize their numbers.  The xvart in particular is an abomination before Corellon and Hanali._

Food for thought from Annapolychromasia Coultaeityouviaene.  Forsaken Widow?

[size=large]Silence!  Hear now the truth, Seer Hawkwind, hear it now!  The fight has not yet finished, foolish mortal.[/size]

I see.

[size=large]Even as the capering simpletons led by the pathetic Thar and his puny god cavort in joy, the slime known to your limited perceptions as Mikek yet plots to eradicate his foes.[/size]

[size=large]Fools.[/size]

That was Forsaken Widow, with insightful analysis.  Erk?

_I believe she’s correct, Hawk._

Are you serious, Erk?

_No, no, no, Mikek is a True Doppelganger, and as such has taken almost exclusively subdual damage during this combat._

English that one up for me, Erk.

_While some guys have stripped Mikek of his equipment – discovering his network of chicken-blood bladders in the process, bladders that allow Mikek to feign genuine injury despite his lack of anatomy – the wily rogue has been waiting for his opportunity._

I don’t follow you.

_He has a bonus on the order of +24 to his Bluff check, Hawk.  He’s feigning death._

As we check back in on some guys – some triumphant guys, I should say – we see that… oh!  oh!  This is unprecedented, call a lawyer!  He’s up!  Mikek is up!  Who could have predicted that?

_I hate you._

He’s naked, he’s uninjured, he’s grabbing for his equipment –

_— which the dark smudge has already squirreled away in her pack –_

And he’s bolting!  Mikek is bolting, running like a madman on his way to a crazy party!  And the dark smudge is on him, holding him down!

_Now that it’s plain conventional weapons are useless against Mikek and his regeneration, I’m sure we’ll see a change in the tactics of some guys._

Right you are, Erk, here comes the alchemist’s fire!  Atarax appears to have stored a supply of the grenadelike weapon exclusively for this purpose.  Thar has also thrown himself on Mikek, as the doppelganger attempts to slide away.  Rhuun is moving to block the tunnel back to Gulg…

_That alchemist’s fire, remember, is persistent – it does damage on two rounds._

Right.  Mikek is trying to slip past the dark smudge and Rhuun and Thar and it’s not looking good for the doppelganger.  Subdual damage or no subdual damage, two goblins and a weird shadow thing the cameras won’t pick up is not the kind of wrestling match any sane shapeshifter wants to get involved in, not unless there are large sums on money involved, which isn’t the case here, although the argument might be made that since Mikek is fighting literally for his life he’s more strongly motivated than he could be otherwise – an argument I’d reject as the urge for self-destruction must be rising high by now, a sort of sour-grapes thanatos of the I-didn’t-want-to-live-anyway variety.  

_Do you think about the words before you say them, Hawk?_

Good point, Erk.  Mikek is clearly suffering from his lack of magic items.

_He was outfitted with a principal’s ransom in goods – strength boosters, dex boosters, con boosters…_

Operative word being was.  Mikek’s covered in napalm and not looking happy about it.  He’s sliding back the other way now, slipping past Thar and towards Moroku…  and there’s the ball of fire, Mikek is staggering…  A bolt of conjuring from Foleful, another die of damage from the alchemist’s fire…  Mikek is down!  For real this time.

_And there’s the genuine end of the fight._

Looks like some guys are taking no chances, Erk – Moroku has a flaming sphere running up and down Mikek’s body, letting it boil away.  

_By the time they’re done I doubt there’ll be more than a dark smudge on the tunnel floor._


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## Gez (Apr 10, 2003)

jeffwik said:
			
		

> *Looks like some guys are taking no chances, Erk – Moroku has a flaming sphere running up and down Mikek’s body, letting it boil away.
> 
> By the time they’re done I doubt there’ll be more than a dark smudge on the tunnel floor. *




So, that's how dark creepers are created...


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## jeffwik (Apr 11, 2003)

Well, with Hawkwind saying "dark smudge" this and "dark smudge" that into his ear, it's inevitable that Erk should repeat the phrase.


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## Forrester (Apr 14, 2003)

*Session the next . . .*

Hello all, and welcome back to the Wide World of Melee. Today we’re taking you deep inside a Hellmouth to see a battle between Some Guys 

_You know, we really need to find a name for these guys, Seer._

. . . and a quartet of grells. I know, doesn’t sound like much, but remember, this is just a little warm-up battle before we take you out to Sivenni and a tremendous contest between Master Roshi and Mistress Seetha and some epic-level drow that are up to no good. 

_That’s going to be one helluva battle, Seer. As you know, Mas-_

I’m sorry, were you saying something, Erk?  Yes, it’s Seer Hawkwind here, along with former three-time middleweight champion of the Dwarrowdelver Clan Weaponsmithing Company Invitational Gladiatorial Challenge, Erk Stronginthearm. 

_Um . . . yes, I think this promises to be a great day. Mostly because of the Roshi/Seetha battle, of course, though I think this could be an interesting warm-up for our audience. Nothing like a good solid squash of aberrant evil to make one feel all warm and squishy inside. Well, nothing except a TPK. _

Kind of depends on the audience, doesn’t it, Erk? And the combatants . . . and as you know from AC’s color commentary last week, the fanbase of the pig-races is less than huge. 

_Well, they do smell extremely bad, and it’s commonly understood that they’re often, if not usually, evil to the bone, Seer. You know, “putrid humanoid scum” and all that._ 

True enough, true enough. That being said, we try to be unbiased here, and hell, even I have to admit that team Putrid Humanoid Scum

_You’re welcome._

. . . has earned a little respect. Given their success against Mikek last battle, and the fact that we’ve got some time to fill up, let’s cut to Cylicorian down on the field. Cylic, what can you tell us about this little crew? 

*I can smell them from here. And I’m ethereal.* 

Yes, well, that’s why we pay you the big bucks, Cylic. 

*That, and the brains. Mmmmm . . . brains. You know, Seer, one day, one of my kind will consume the brain that will contain that last little bit of information, that last shred of knowledge that will allow us to finally and once and for all destroy the Sun.* 

Yes, Cylic, we can all see you’re an illithid from here. Enough with the editorializing – what can you tell us about the recent travails of team PHS? 

*Sssssssssthththttthhhh. One day I shall suck your grey matter from your skull, human. Until then, though . . .  

Well, these guys – team Putrid Humanoid Scum, as you call them, have been partying hard. As you know they wiped the floor with Mikek and his little crew just yesterday, and damn was Mikek loaded. PHS was a little bit low on cash – hell, any 9th level elf from the surface carried as many goodies on them as the whole lot of them did put together – but the reduction of Mikek to a fine, black crust changed all that.* 

Yeah, they beat Mikek like . . . 

*Hey, I’m talking here. You can make your amusing little observations and throw out your pathetic banter when I’m done, brainfood.

Mikek and his crew were practically dripping with magic. We’re talking +3 short sword, +3 mithril chain, +2 mithril chain, +3 ring of protection, over a 100 +1 arrows, almost a dozen +3 arrows, a periapt of +2 Dex/Con, 20+ potions, and of course, two especially marvelous finds: a +2 mighty composite shortbow by the name of Surestrike, and a sack of sympathetic magic supplies that the Aunties were waiting for worth well over 50,000gp.* 

That’s a helluva take for a bunch of goblins and friends of goblins.   

*What’s amusing is that the pig-scum actually had no idea how much the sack of supplies was worth. They just handed it over to Auntie Annie without so much as a second though. Idiots. Their brains are barely worth eating. In any case, they’ve split up the goodies, geared up, and ventured into the Hellmouth . . . apparently, they’re looking for a tribe of Athatch. Back to you, Seer, Erk.* 

Thanks Cylicorian. And now for some info on who and where these guys will be fighting. Erk? 

_Thanks, Seer. What this team is going to be facing is a group of slightly above-par grells. As you all know, your standard grell has 5HD, 32hp, and is an improved-grabbing machine given its ten tentacles. That’s a DC14 save against paralysis on a hit, incidentally. Intimidating, but it’s relatively crappy AC of 17 means that it’s pretty easy to drop with a couple good hits, making it a CR3 creature at best. 

Of course, these guys will be fighting in the Hellmouth, and as we all know, nothing’s typical there. These grells are bigger and meaner than usual; they’re still medium-sized, but they’re 8HD, have 65hp each, and do a little more damage per swing. Our labs put them at between CR5 and CR6. Let’s face it – a couple good fireballs from that orcish gun of theirs, Moroku, and these grells are meat on a stick. _

I think you might be overstating the case here, Erk. At least, I hope you are, given how much time we’ve got to fill up here. It seems to me that if one of those grells started a round within melee distance of that team, they might lose three or four members at once. 

_Yeah, but they’d have to be pretty stupid to bunch up like that, Seer, and I think we saw in that last battle that we’re dealing with a pretty sharp group of scum here. _

Fair enough, fair enough. Let’s go down to the battlefield. Our sponsor today, God-That-Sucked Healing wands, has graciously supplied the ethereal True Seeing cameras for viewing today’s events. Today’s battle will take place in an Underdark passage about 20’ wide and 20’ high. No natural illumination. Looks like the party is clustered together as they’re walking down the passage. 

_Yeah, they’re in Fireball formation all right. But I think I see a dark smudge on the camera, about 30’ ahead of the group . . . definitely that Krikara we’ve heard so little about. And speaking of the group, is that a . . . mongrelman in the front of the cluster, next to Rhuun? He looks like Gollum with tusks. Ewwwww. _

You’re absolutely right, Erk. Looks like they’ve got a mongrelman guide. And given the fond looks he’s giving heretical little blue guy floating in mid-air, I’d guess that maybe, just maybe, he’s a Cohort. 

_Yeah, looks like someone just hit 9th level all right. Leave it to a xvart to pick a mindless secular humanoidist bootlick over someone who is actually competent. My notes here say that this mongrelman, Ib, is a 6th level ranger. Who in the hell takes more than one level of ranger? Christ on a cracker, Seer, talk about your f***-ups. _

Watch your language, Erk, this is a family broadcast. I have to agree with you though . . . but no time to debate that now, here come the grells. And yes . . . I can just make it out . . . the dark smudge sees them, they don’t see her, and she’s run back to alert the party about the big brains. 

_And yes, the grells hear the whispering, and here they come. INITIATIVE! _

Boom! And that’s the beginning of the end, Erk. I think that Thar only saw two of those grells, but he just hit all four of them with a very nicely placed Flamestrike. That’s going to leave a mark . . . looks to me like only one of them saved. The others got hit for a big chunk, and they’re nearly down to 50%. 

_And here comes an arrow from the Smudge. Ouch, that had to hurt. That grell is on its last . . . tentacles, and yes, here comes the overkill from the little blue guy. That Bolt of Conjuring was more than enough to do the 1hp of damage necessary to finish off that leading grell. That’s one down, and three to go. Odd that the group isn’t breaking up a little more, though. They’re still clustered together something fierce. _

How exactly do you cluster “fiercely”, Erk? I mean, you’re the color commentator here, but . . . “fierce”? 

_Shut up, Seer. And pay attention – here come the grells.  Two of them are charging in . . . and yes, they’re going after the two forces that have hurt them the most this battle. Grells may be smart (Int 10 on average), but they don’t seem to understand the concept of 3E initiative. Rather than go after those who have yet to move this round, they’re attacking those who have already attacked.

And HIT! Thar’s AC of 21 is not bad, but the Grell’s +9 to hit and +2 to charge is enough to mow through it. And . . . oooh, that’s not good. Thar’s stiff as a board. That famous Grell paralyzing poison seems to have set in something good, and Thar has just been sucked up into the Grell’s firm yet gentle grasp. He’s going to be paralyzed for four rounds. _

If by gentle you mean harsh, violent, and deadly. 

_It’s color commentary, deal._

And why four rounds? Why not d4? d6? 

_No, Seer, four rounds. Just . . . four rounds. _

Why not 2d4?

_Shut up. His healthier bro is moving in on Foleful. And he HITS! Foleful has just made his save, but given his small size and 4 strength he’s no match for the grell’s grapple. Ouch. That’s one two down (and one paralyzed) and five to go. _

Foleful’s familiar is standing back, not even making a move. Nothing worse than a cowardly familiar. 

_And the goblin bard has just cast Suggestion – something about it being a Good Idea if the grell would drop Thar. Atarax is as persuasive a goblin as I’ve ever seen, but you know those Aberrations – excellent will saves. Still, my math suggests that that grell has only a 1-in-3 chance of making this save. _

I think you jinxed him. Either that, or these grell don’t speak Undercommon. Wouldn’t that be a bitch? 

Bip fires at the grell holding Foleful, and hits for a smidge. Rhuun is next, drops her tasty tasty +3 short sword, and draws the bow that Thar insisted Rhuun was hardly ever going to use. She shoots . . . and hits Thar. 

_That’s going to leave a mark. Nothing quite like taking a feat to take damage. This is why goblins don’t rule the world, Seer. _

It’s Grell time, and the remaining grell doesn’t recognize that Moroku is very, very clearly the biggest threat remaining. So he moves towards Rhuun, and, damn, hits! If I didn’t know better I’d say that the Big Guy running this thing was tilting things a little bit towards the lucky side for the grells. Rhuun makes her save . . . but can she make ten saves next turn? 

_Nonsense, nonsense. Those were honest hits. And thank god, because otherwise this’d be a squash. This fight Just Got Interesting. _

Back to the party. Moroku is drooling to cast a fireball or something else nasty, but a quick scan shows that it’d be a risky proposition at best. He fires a magic missile at the grell on Thar, and it’s definitely hit. That grell holding Thar isn’t looking good. 

And we’re back to the top. Krikara has saved Thar’s life before, and she does it again. The smudge has just taken out one of those +3 arrows and has put it through the tentacle holding Thar. Thar drops to the ground with a thud. Well, he did his thing with the Flamestrike – let’s see if the rest of these humanoids can carry their own weight. 

_Not sure we’re going to get to find out, Seer, because as hard as it is to believe, not a SINGLE one of the party backed up from the grells last round! That means that with the grell’s 10’ reach, both Ib and Atarax are within one five-foot step of the grell that has its tentacles locked onto Foleful. 
And BAM! Ten tentacles fly out, and most of them hit their mark. Ib sucked up and paralyzed. Foleful is paralyzed. And Atarax has been sucked up . . . he’s not paralyzed, though, but soon he’s going to wish he was. Less pain that way, I hear. _ 

And it’s just gotten worse for team PHS. No one is going to mourn the loss of a bard in combat, but the grell that had its feelers on Thar has just moved onto Moroku. And yes, it’s ANOTHER hit. Moroku has made its save . . . but I think we all know what happens next round. 

<in the distance a crowd can be heard> 



TPK!

TPK!

TPK!

TPK!

_Just piping in the feed from our audience, Seer. They smell blood. Looks like this little battle may not be so little after all! _

Hold on – Atarax to the rescue! He’s made his Concentration check and has Suggested again to the grell holding him and Foleful and Ib that it’d be a Good Idea if they dropped the trio. 

_I don’t think that grell has learned Undercommon yet, Seer. _

Nope. But he knows Moroku knows it – he’s just called out to him that grells are immune to electrical attacks. No need for the big Gun to waste a l-bolt on these grell. The bard may have proven to be a little useful after all. 

And hey, maybe Rhuun will get away – she’s just drawn a short sword and swings at the grell holding her. She does a little damage. 

_And the grell has just wrapped most of its tentacles around Rhuun. The grell may have taken seven points . . . but she just took forty and is now paralyzed. 

That’s not exactly the off-ramp to the road to victory. 
_

Two rounds have passed and there’s only one party member not experiencing a big ole grell hug. TPK for sure . . . so much for team PHS!

_I don’t know I’d count them out yet, Seer. Moroku isn’t paralyzed yet after all, and he’s got a Fireball ready for action. And once again, it’s all in the hands of the Smudge. _

You’re kidding, right Erk? Let’s put this baby to bed. Coming up next, folks, Roshi and Seetha vs the Drow! I think I speak for –

_Don’t speak for me, because Krikara has just nocked an +3 arrow and YES! SHE’S DONE IT! The Smudge has just hit a tentacle and clipped the baby right off. Moroku drops to the ground and YES, it’s a fireball! 

Ouch. That’s going to leave a mark. Thar’s just taken full damage. Ib’s just taken full damage. Foleful’s just taken full damage. Atarax has just taken half-damage. Rhuun’s just taken full damage. And Moroku has just taken half-damage._ 

If it weren’t for that ring of Protection from Fire/Lightning that Rhuun took off Mikek, she’d be dead right now. Luckily, she’s only at –8. That’s going to come as a big blow to our elvish viewers, but yes, Rhuun is ALIVE, and so is everyone else.

_Not everyone, Erk. Two of the grells are down. One is still up, though – the grell that’s locked on to Atarax, Foleful, and Ib. And that grell is running like a mofo. He has managed to paralyze Atarax, though, while on the run, but at this point he’s a good 120’ away from Moroku.

Only two non-paralyzed members of team PHS left, Seer – Krikara and Moroku. Krikara is chasing the grell, but while she’s able to keep up with it, she’s not going to be able to get a shot off I’m afraid. No, it’s all up to Moroku at this point. _

And there it is. Moroku has figured out about how far the grell is, and there goes an Ice Storm! Moroku has done 13d6 points of damage to various members of his party, and if that’s not worth a good laugh at their expense, I’m not sure what is. The grell drops . . . and it looks like Ib and Atarax are still alive. The heretical xvart, though . . . well, we’re going to have to go to the photo-finish. 

. . . 
. . . 
. . . 

*AND HE’S ALIVE! HE’S ALIVE! HOLY CRAP, HE’S STILL ALIVE!*

And there’s the big groan from the audience. The battle is over, and as Krikara dumps a potion of healing down Foleful’s throat and Moroku and Thar tend to Rhuun, we see that what seemed to be a surefire TPK has turned into a full victory for PHS.

Going to be spending a lot of time using those God-That-Sucked healing wands, though. But yes. Team PHS, consisting of three ninth-level guys, two eight-level guys, and two seventh-level guys, have just managed to barely survive an EL9 encounter. They should be very proud. 

_Oh, go to hell, Seer. _


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## Morrow (Apr 14, 2003)

For those of you playing along at home:

Putrid Humanoid Scum

*Thar* (Goblin) Cleric of Maglibuyet 9
*Rhuun* (Goblin) Rogue 3, Fighter 4– Thar’s cohort
*Atarax* (Goblin) Bard 8
*Krikara* (Darkcreeper) Rogue 6, Scout 1, Shadowdancer 1
*Foleful* (Xvart) Sorcerer 9
*Ib* (Mongrelman) Ranger 6- Foleful's cohort
*Moroku* (Orc) Sorcerer 8

You'd think that we would be able to handle some lousy Grell.  Oh well, live and learn.  Or in our case, barely survive and fireball your mistakes.

Morrow


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## Gez (Apr 14, 2003)

Two characters with leadership ? Man, you should not call yourself _Putrid_ Humanoid Scum, but _Prestigious_ Humanoid Scum. Oh, and any followers ?


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## Morrow (Apr 15, 2003)

For the most part all of Thar's followers are back at Blarkarg Camp, the settlement full of goblin and kobald refugees that the party lead into the Underdark to escape the surface elves.  As an incredibly powerful cleric of Maglibuyet, Thar has proved quite popular with most of the NPC goblins he's encountered, but his Leadership score really reflects the core of his support in Blarkarg Camp.

Flinz might be considered one of Foleful's followers, there is definately a hero worship thing going on there.  I expect that Foleful eventually intends to gather a group of secular humanoidists dedicated to the school of Folefulism.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Apr 17, 2003)

*One has fallen.*

We're a session report behind . . . actually, two session reports behind now, as we just met again last night. 

Not looking good for Team Putrid Humanoid Scum. Not looking good at all . . .


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## Socrates (Apr 22, 2003)

To avoid any possible confusion (not Confusion, but confusion), since it seems that there is a story that you have not yet heard, I will, briefly, give you the details of the last encounters that PHS had before today.

After a fierce battle with some grells, and then with some gambols, some guys managed to hole up for the night in a secluded part of the hellmouth.  They regrouped and began to look for the lair of the athatch.  They came across some strange markings on the wall - as if someone had shaped the stone closed.  They prepared themselves, shaped the stone open and went in.  There was a mostly dead athatch, a bugbear guard, a couple of zombie athatches, and an eryines torturer.  After a quick battle, the eryines fled by teleport, the tortured athatch was dead, the bugbear was dead, and one of the zombies was in control of thar.  This is where we begin our next session. . .


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## Socrates (Apr 22, 2003)

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen.  We are now bringing you live and up-to-date coverage of team PHS (that's Putrid Humanoid Scum) and their adventures in the Hellmouth.  So, what's on tap for today?

Well, we've got one minor skirmish, one major fight, and what looks like it might possibly be a TPK.  Definitely not something that anyone will want to miss.  But first a word from our sponsor.

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OK folks, we're back, and just to whet your appetite, we have a little bit of grisly mutilation.  That's right, what you see is team PHS actually cutting the head off of the bugbear ion the torture chamber.  I've seen brutality before, but why cut the head off of this dead bugbear.

Um, I guess that would be to foil speak with dead, right?

Great point.  No talking to that bugbear corpse now.  I'm sure that whenever team Evil Genius encounters PHS, they will be completely in the dark about what PHS can do. . .

Well, it looks like they found a book - all kinds of good stuff in there about gambols and rakshasa (back in sanctuary), a gnarl being torutred in the hellmouth, and a vapor boar being tortured in the Hellmouth in a lab created by Aunti Entity - who appears to be in charge of this whole operation.  Apparently this vapor boar seems to be the most important of the torture victims, since it is giving them the power to lay the charm on so many people.  

Enough with the book and reading.  I'm sure it's very interesting to our viewers to watch a xvart try to read, but can we get to a little bit of action.

So, it's action you want?  OK, how about that minor skirmish I was telling you about?  See wee have team PHS heading back to a hiding place in the hellmouth, with that dark smudge scouting out in front.  Oh boy, did you see that?  The dark smudge stopped moving, but the rest of the group seems to keep going forward.  Something must have happened to it, and the rest of team PHS doesn't realize it yet.  Things might get ugly in a hurry here. . .

Oh wait, Rhuun is down too.  She seems to just be staring into space with no will to do anything.  Two down, 5 to go, and I don't think they even realize that there is a threat. . .

Atarax blows his horn of goodness, so they must realize something is up, but it doesn't seem to help rhuun.  Thar tries to dispel magic on rhuun and that doesn't seem to wrok either.  The rest of the folks are moving up, but they can't even see their enemies yet.  Looks like Ib and Thar are getting targeted by whatever this power is - with no effect.  Moroku drops a minor globe, Atarax begins to inspire greatness in Ib, and Thar gets the inflict critical ready and moves forward.  Ib and thar get targeted again, and this time Ib goes down.  No more movement coming from Ib.  With 3 party members down, and no enemies in sight, things are looking bad. . .

Foeful moves up and starts summoning reinforcements, moroku sends a fireball down the corridor, and manages to do some damage.  Atarax drops a confusion down there, and it seems like one of them is confused.  Thar charges up and lays the inflict crit on one of them and looks hurt.  One of them stands there and does nothing, while the other one takes a claw/claw/bite on Thar.  Then the summoned wolf appears, charges into the fray and takes a big hunk out of the confused one.  Foeful then throws an ice knife, followed up by the zombie athatch smashing one into bits.  Now it looks like that water elemental dire wolf and the whatever it is are just tearing each other to pieces.

Boy, these battles can turn on a copper piece.  I thought team PHS might be in some real trouble here.  

Well we've got a major battle coming now, and who knows what might happen.  Let's zip ahead, ah, there we are, Team PHS settling in for a quiet evening of rest in the hellmouth.  I'm sure that they'll be able to sleep with no problems. . .

Wait a minute, what's that rumbling noise?  Is that, could it be, yes it is, it's a PURPLE WORM!  That ought to give these guys some trouble.  That bard keeps singing about the time they killed a purple worm, but I can't really believe they did that.  We'll see how they fare when they're live on scry.

The dark smudge lets rip with an arrow from sure strike.  Wow - that had to hurt.  Atarax begins to inspire greatness in rhuun, singing about, you guessed it, the last time they killed a purple worm.  

Wait a minute, we have out first casualty, it just bit, grabbed, and swallowed Moroku.  I guess we won't be seeing any of those fancy lightning bolts this battle.  

Hey what is that nimbus of black energy surrounding Thar?

That looks like a slay living!  Bringing out the big guns today!  Too bad that purple worms are pretty tough.  No dice on the whole instant death thing, but it did seem to take another chunk out of it.  

Ib charges and misses - surprise!  Have we seen this mongrelman actually hit anything yet?

I certainly don't remember it.

Rhuun jumps up and takes a gash out of the worm with her shortsword, and wait a minute, what's this?   A lightning bolt just burst out through the side of the purple worm.  IS that orc casting spells after being swallowed?  We might hear some complaints from the WOTC folks about that. . .

Foeful finishes summoning his Fire Elemental Dire Ape that moves in for the kill.  Oh wait, the worm attacks the ape and swallows it before it can even take a swiing.  Well at least foeful can hit it with a bolt of conjuring.  The dark smudge shoots it again, and Atarax tries to lay a curse on it - surprise, no effect.  It tries to bite Thar and hit him with its poison stinger - AND MISSES TWICE!  That's gotta hurt the worm's chances here.  It does get to do some crushing damage and acid damage to moroku on the inside though.  Thar lays the inflict crit on it for big damage, and surprise, Ib misses again.  Rhuun finally gets a full attack, and hits it 3 times!  It seems to be teetering now.  ANd here comes the deathblow - a bolt of conjuring from Foeful.  Ain't nothing left now but to cut out Moroku and fish out the posion sac.

Don't forget about eating the heart.

Oh wait, there we see atarax cutting into the side and pulling out the steaming heart.  Everyone takes a bite.  Nothing like fresh purple worm heart.  

Let's take another break from the action while Team PHS settles in for the night


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## Socrates (Apr 22, 2003)

So here we are, on first watch, and, is that Rhuun still awake?

That's right, she's wearing an Ever-Ready Ring of sustenance.  She only needs to sleep 2 hours every day.  I just love mine, and I bet you'd love yours as well.  So head to your local magic broker and pick one up today.

Anyway, she has a panicked look on her face.  What is she doing?  Is she drinking blood?  I bet those pesky Zorn charmers are at it again.  Looks like Atarax is drinking too.  He's waking up the dark smudge - hey we can kind of see her, a little bit since she's just waking up - and she tries to lay some line on Atarax about already drinking her resistance potion.  It's clear that the Zorn-lovers have her already, and if she wants, she'd easily be able to slip away, and no one would ever find her.  Wait a minute, Atarax isn't buying it.

I SUGGEST you drink the resistance potion 

And she's doing it.  Boy, if Atarax could affect enemies as well as he does his own party, team PHS might survive yet.  We've got another round of potion drinking, and team PHS gets ready for the next day.

After some careful scouting, it seems that they've made it safely to the edge of the hellmouth, and it is time for them to start heading back towards Freetown to see if they can free Auntie Em.  

Wait a minute, what's that noise?  It seems like the dark smudge just heard some scampering of feet.  I'll bet she's going to slink on back to team PHS so they can organize their battle plan.

"THERE'S SOMEONE RUNNING AWAY" 

Boy, that wasn't subtle.  Foeful flies up and sees an unfamiliar goblin flying away back towards freetown.  Everyone starts moving up and casting spells - we have a Foeful on Ibful moving at 65, we have Atarax with Expeditious Retreat moving at 60, then we have the rest of folks running up at normal speed.  And they're trying to chase down the fleeing goblin.  


After 30 seconds or so of the chase, we have foeful all by himself up ahead, followed 200 feet back by Atarx and the dark smudge, followed several hundred feet back by Moroku, Ib, Thar and Rhuun.  This doesn't seem like the best battle plan I've ever seen. . .

Oh wait, here it comes.  Chains of fire attack Foeful and miss, then he's hit by a magic missile, a glitterdust, and two mind affecting spells.  Are there 4 enemy spellcasters waiting in ambush?  That can't be good.  Now wait, there is an orc with a little bit of drool running down his chin that runs up and punches foeful - just knocked him back 30 feet, and right off of Ibful!  This doesn't look good. . .

Foeful throws a solid fog between the casters and the party, leaving us alone with the orc.  Atarax comes charging up behind foeful, and the orc charges forward again and punches foeful, stunning him and knocking him back 30 feet again.  The solid fog gets dispelled!

What's this?  A cantrip?  That's right, it's a dancing lights.  Now the enemy casters can see Atarax to target him.  They throw a silence at him (no effect) and a charm of some sort (no effect).  Now the orc takes a swing at ibful and deals him a crushing blow.  Ibful picks up foeful, and that dark smudge just ran through again.  Atarax lets rip with a glitterdust, and catched 2 of the casters in it - looks like they're blind.  I guess they won't be targeting any more spells for a little while. . .

While the rest of the party continues to charge up, the orc closes the distance to atarax, but doesn't quite have enough movement left to get an attack off.  Ibful picks up foeful and starts fleeing down the corridor.  Unfortunately, right when he gets to where Atarax is standing,  a readied fireball comes flying down the corridor - killing foeful and ibful, and gravely wounding atarax.  Surprisingly the fireball has no effect on the orc.  That can't be good. . .

An arrow comes out of the darkness and thunks into the orc.  Thar casts invisibility and runs.  Uh oh, when the cleric starts running, that can't be good. . .

Moroku throws a fireball at the spellcasters and does some damage, and Ib charges the orc in a rage over foeful's death - and misses. (surprise).  Rhuun retreats to catch up with Thar, the orc and Ib are fighting when another fireball comes out of the darkness.  This one comes up short and doesn't hit the party, but the next one has the range and nails atarax and moroku.  Bloody pulp puts another arrow into Ib. . .

And it looks like we're just about out of time for this week.  Tune in next week, and see what happens to team PHS.  Will there be a TPK?  Will the rest of the party run and abandon Atarax and Moroku to their fate?  Will there be a miraculous comeback?  Only time will tell. . .


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## Forrester (Apr 23, 2003)

*T-minus 5 hours.*

Getting close. I think the party is still torn between sticking together and fighting to the death and individually running in every different direction possible in order to save their own petty little lives. 

Very, very interesting.


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## Morrow (Apr 23, 2003)

Whadaya want?  If we were talking about a party of elves, dwarves, and humans, they'd all stand back to back and fight until the end.  Unfortunately, we're talking goblins here.  There probably aren't even words for loyalty or sacrifice in Undercommon.

Morrow


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## Forrester (Apr 23, 2003)

Morrow said:
			
		

> *Whadaya want?  If we were talking about a party of elves, dwarves, and humans, they'd all stand back to back and fight until the end.  Unfortunately, we're talking goblins here.  There probably aren't even words for loyalty or sacrifice in Undercommon.
> 
> Morrow *




And that is why your people still live in caves . At some point you'll learn that if you don't hang together, you'll hang separately . . . of course, Foleful's insane "I'll split up from the party and follow this guy!" didn't help. 

Quote of the night: 

"You know, I just didn't expect five spellcasters to be standing there with readied actions. I just . . . didn't." 

Finally, I'll point out that when elves stand back to back and fight until the end, they know that it's not going to be THEIR end. They are, after all, elves, and have many cheaty tricks and magicks at their disposal. Next time, you guys should play elves. Yep. That'd do the trick!


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## Gez (Apr 28, 2003)

Bump.


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