# I cast magic missle on trogdor!



## The Vorpal Tribble (May 6, 2005)

Didn't know if this was the best place to post it, but me and a couple other guys have had a bit of fun now and again turning Homestarrunner into a D&D campaign. 

(For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about I point to http://www.Homestarrunner.com/ and suggest you check out the Strongbad emails first thing  )

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*Strong Sad:*
Alright, the sun has set and you sit in a field lit only by starlight. You feel the wind change and the smell of smoke floats past. In the distance you hear the cry of a great beast. What do you do? 

*Strong Bad: *
FIREBALL! FIREBALL! 

*Homesar:*
I'm a raaaging pilgrim of mercy! 

*Cheat:*
Mraw mraw tikket! 

*Strong Sad:*
The Cheat, you can't have a +8 vorpal scimitar, you spent all your gold on drinks!

*Cheat:*
Nah nah, binrih! 

*Strong Sad: *
*sigh*
Ok, so you see a great big wingaling wyrm. He's flaming the entire village and stomping the peasants flat. 

*Strong Bad:*
Hey fatflayer, I soothe the storming beast.  Charm monster, man...

*Strong Sad: *
You already used up all your 3rd level spells on that guard that asked you how you picked pockets with boxing gloves on.

*Homesar:*
I run like a wastebasket of Pandemonium! 

*Strong Bad:*
Look gibbering larder, you find one more slot left before your face becomes a spell component! 

*Strong Mad:*
LIGHTENING BOLT! LIGHTENING BOLT!


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## The Vorpal Tribble (May 6, 2005)

*Marzipan*: 
Cloaked by the darkness my Elven Songstress creeps quietly upon the motley group.

*Strong Sad*: 
*Rolls* Your footsteps are unheard as you aproach the edge of their social circle. They don't notice your approach as you....

*Homestar*: 
Heeeeeeeeeey, Mahzipan! Wherw'd you go?

*Strong Bad*: 
What the Crap was that?

*Strong Sad*: 
You turn toward the source of the noise and find that you are standing face to face with a tall, blonde elven lady.

*Strong Bad*: 
Why hello there! *Moves in, dips her* How would you like to go back to my castle?

*Marzipan*: 
Get away from me! *Falls from Strong Bad's Grasp* Way to go Homestar, they know we're here now!

*Homestar*: 
*Munches* Man, these iwon wations are pwetty lousy.....wish I has some fluffy puff mahshmellows....

*Strong Mad*: 
Marshmallows! Marshmalllows!!!


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## The Vorpal Tribble (May 6, 2005)

*Strong Sad:*
So your walking through the field and you see a little creature that looks like a chicken with a lizard's tail running at you. 

*Strong Bad:*
Tor Coolguy leaps up into the air, twirling about with nunchucku in hand, ready to knock its head off with his flurry of blows, and then it'll be all bloody and gasping out its final breath, but then I'll cut off its head, and it'll be like 'Oh no, my hit points are gone, because my head was chopped off' HAAAIIII YAAAAH! 

*Marzipan:*
You'll do not such thing! Its just too cute. Aren't you cute, yes you are. He's just adorable. Cutest little monster in the world!

*Strong Sad:*
The cockatrice looks at you and you turn to stone. 

*Marzipan:*
Well that wasn't nice! 

*Homestar:*
Haha! Mawzipan, you look wediculuss. Hey guys, look, my guhfwiend is like a stone mop.  

*Marzipan:*
Homestar, I'm breaking up with you. 

*Strong Mad:*
TURN UNDEAD! TURN UNDEAD!

*Strong Sad:*
Strong Bad, it looks up and turns you to stone to.

*Strong Bad:*
What the... but I... awww, holy crap! 

*Homesar:*
My crossbow sings like the waffles of Vecna!


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## The Vorpal Tribble (May 6, 2005)

*Strong Bad:*
Yo, dire paunch, there any weapon shops in this ye olde town? 

*Strong Sad:*
This is just a little vill... OW! Fine, you come across a shop with a sign that reads 'Señor Cardgage Weapons'. 

*Pompom:*
*blurble blurble blurble*
*
Homestar:*
Your righteth Pompom, this place smelleth like pea soupeth.  

*Señor Cardgage:*
Salutatings Dianas. Welcome to Señor Cardgage's Weapons. We have battle saws, knives of this, cuttings, y'know. Not had much business these ways. Buy some mealings to help out an old campoldier? 

*Strong Bad:*
Yeah man, what do you have thats magical? 

*Señor Cardgage:*
Psarcane pikedocks maybe, a bit of philandery where it counts. 
*
Pom-Pom:*
*blurble blurble blurble*

*Señor Cardgage:*
I dunno Sylvestine, maybe in the back. I'll go take a visioning. 
*
Strong Bad:*
Man, that guy is so cool! 

*Homestar:*
Hey Strongbuh, this guy hasesth liketh a hundwed candy baws backeth heah. 

*Strong Bad:*
Homestar, shut the crap up! Your not even doing it right! And I'm not Strongbad, I'm Tor Coolguy, bard and maiden magnet.

*The Cheat:*
Mir mir...

*Strong Bad:*
Yeah, I know bards don't have familiars, but your like my ultimate unknown cohort, my supersecret hench-thecheat. 

*Pom Pom:*
*blurble blurble blurble*

*Homestar:*
I don't knoweth Pompom, but it doth not smell like fluffypuffs..eth.  Does this towneth haveth a Poopsmith abouteth?


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## The Vorpal Tribble (May 6, 2005)

*Strong Sad:*
Stone steps lead down into the dark abyss of the dungeon. They are covered with moss and lichens, and are very damp. 

*Strong Mad:*
STOMP LICHENS! STOMP LICHENS!

*The Cheat:*
Higugh mir mir tnuh. 

*Strong Sad:*
The Cheat's right, lichens are like moss, but... oh never mind, they aren't monsters.  
*
Strong Bad:*
Well look who thinks he's Mr. ranks in Knowledge nature. 

*Homesar:*
OOOOH, my pockets filled with the laundrey of the poltergeist! 

*Strong Sad:*
So are you going down or what?

*The Cheat:*
Mir mir...

*Strong Bad:*
Yeah, The Cheat, go scout it out. 
_
*Several moments later...*_

*The Cheat:*
ANGHAH! MIR MIR GABBAH! ANGH ANGH ANGH! 

*Strong Bad:*
Oh ho, a gelatinous cube... thought you could trick us down there, eh Sir Fatsalot?

*King of Town:*
Did I hear someone mention... gelatain. 

*Strong Bad:*
Yeah, down those sta... HEY, where'd you come from old man? 

*King of Town*:
I came to help. I'm a wizard! 

*Strong Bad:*
No, your bloated and old! Go take a hike... unless... *evil grin* you'd like to lead the way down. 

*King of Town:*
Yes, yes, I shall, and maybe later there will be a banquet in our honor?

*Strong Bad:*
Heh, heh, this is gonnas be good The Cheat. Tor Coolguy takes another victim. 

*King of Town:*
*from down the stairs* 
Oooh! Oooh!  *splurp, munch, MMM! MMM! smack* Delish! Oooh! 

*Strong Bad:*
Holy crap! Thats, like, wrong, on so many levels, man. 

*Strong Mad:*
I WANT JELL-O TO!


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## Ancalagon (May 8, 2005)

> Homesar:
> My crossbow sings like the waffles of Vecna!






I am amused


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## Angcuru (May 9, 2005)

Funny.     You should send this like to them and see if they make something out of it.


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## The Vorpal Tribble (May 9, 2005)

Do they actually take sort of pre-written stuff like this do you think?

Heres another one I made while bored last night:

*Homestarrunner:*
I'll take a pint of melonade my good Bubs! 
*
Bubs:*
You got coppers for that?

*Homestarrunner:*
Oh, shuh. 

*Pom-Pom:*
*blurble* *blurble* *blurble*

*Bubs: *
You do? 
*
Homestarrunner:*
No, we lied. My fwiend Tuh Coolguy is pilfewing the patwons so as we can dwinketh.  

*Bubs:*
Oh is he now? Y'know, if I wasn't a neutral I might take offense at that. 

*Homestarrunner:*
Yeah, yuh pwobably wight. 

*Strong Mad:*
WIGHT?! TURN UNDEAD! 

*Bubs:*
Hey now, your not one of those adventuring types going to wreck my inn are you? 

*Homestarrunner:*
We'uh just avawage ciwizens twying to make an honest buck. Ah you twying to impwewn my honnah? Pwepayah yuh spell, Pom-Pom. This guy needs taughteth a lesson! 

*Bubs:*
I thought you said you weren't adventurers? 

*Pom-Pom:*
*blurble blurble blurble*

*Homestarrunner:*
What?! Bluff is cwoss-class? The deuce you sayeth! 

*Bubs:*
That melonade is gonna cost you double. Probably brought a dozen orcs with you. 

*Homestarrunner:*
That sounds weashonowable. 

*Meanwhile...*

*Strong Bad:*
Way to go the cheat, he totally never looked my way. All this ill-gotten gains are sweet, man. 

*The Cheat:*
Mir mir.

*Strong Mad:*
THIRSTY! 

*Strong Bad:*
Yeah big guy, we'll get all the drinks we want. 

*The Cheat:*
MIR MIR!

*Strong Bad:*
Hey, what the? If your over there the Cheat, who the crap is this little guy in the cloak?

*Green Goblin:*
*whisks off robe*  *organ music* 

*Homestarrunner:*
See, Bubseth? No owkeths, just a lil goblin. 

*Bubs:*
What!? A goblin?! I knew it! Theres gonna be a raid! Drinks are double! Quadruple! 

*Strong Bad:*
Look man, this place has a thatched roof. Does 'fireball' mean anything to you? 

*Strong Mad:*
FIREBALL! FIREBALL! 

*Bubs:*
Glad doin' business with ya...


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## Angcuru (May 9, 2005)

Maybe they won't use the exact wording, but I can see them using the Idea for everyone sitting around playing D&D.


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## Greylock (May 9, 2005)

Dude, don't leave us hanging like that! What's in Homestar's pocketsses?


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