# Star Wars quotes you never want to hear while having sex



## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

OK, we're all a bunch of Star Wars geeks here, right?  Toss off Star Wars quotes with little or no provocation; that's me.

Here's a bunch of Star Wars lines I hope to _never_ hear from my wife, or anyone else in the vicinity, while having sex.  Lines I don't want to say, too, for that matter.

"Negative.  It didn't go in.  Just impacted on the surface."

"What if he doesn't survive?  He's worth a lot to me."

"Apology accepted, Captain Dyal."    

Aren't you a little ..._ahem_... short for a stormtrooper?"

"Your powers are weak old man!"

Anyway, add to the fun!


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

"I am your father."


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## Dominic (Oct 14, 2005)

"Size matters not"

"Into the garbage shute flyboy"

"Well, short help is better than no help"


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"

"Only you could be so bold."

"That's no moon."

"This is no cave!"

"And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"


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## Umbran (Oct 14, 2005)

"I have a bad feeling about this..."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"This deal's getting worse all the time."


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

"This little one's not worth the effort. Now come, let me get you something"


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"You're far too trusting."


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

"Going somewhere, Solo?"

"Yeah, but this time I've *got* the money."

"It's no good down here, I can't maneuver!"


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## StupidSmurf (Oct 14, 2005)

"There is no try...only do, or do not!"  (or something like that   )


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## StupidSmurf (Oct 14, 2005)

"I find your lack of faith....disturbing...."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"No reward is worth this."

"Will someone get this walking carpet out of my way!"


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

"Where are you taking this... thing?"

"That's your uncle talking."


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## Jonny Nexus (Oct 14, 2005)

StupidSmurf said:
			
		

> "There is no try...only do, or do not!"  (or something like that   )




I think that would be the worst.


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## diaglo (Oct 14, 2005)

"There is another..."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!"

"Holding her is dangerous."

"I'm trying to get us out of here and you're taking this apart now?!"

"What's that flashing?!"


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## Thornir Alekeg (Oct 14, 2005)

A few you don't want to hear during sex:

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?" 
"You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake; well, this could be it, sweetheart." 
"Good. I hate long waits."
"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough." 
"Sorry, sweetheart. We haven't got time for anything else." 
"Here goes nothing." 


Quotes that might be good to hear:

"You may fire when ready."
"Impressive . . . most impressive." 


Ones that could go either way:

"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid." 
"You do have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them."


Ones you don't to overhear later:

"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought." 
"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

Jonny Nexus said:
			
		

> I think that would be the worst.



I gotta go with 



			
				Ashwyn said:
			
		

> "I am you father."




as the worst to hear.   

Warrior Poet


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## Dominic (Oct 14, 2005)

"I thought you said this thing was fast"


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

Thornir Alekeg said:
			
		

> Ones you don't to overhear later:
> 
> "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"What a piece of junk!"

"Who is the more foolish?  The fool?  Or the fool who follows him?"

"Where did you dig up that old fossil?"


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

Thornir Alekeg said:
			
		

> AOnes you don't to overhear later:
> 
> "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
> "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."



My favorites so far.    

This thread is turning out great!  I love it!


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Back door, eh?  Good idea."
"I'm afraid our furry companion has gone and done something rather rash."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Hey, what are you trying to push on us?!"


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

"You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?"

"Not ready for the burden were you."

"Oh <insert name>, why do you have to be so frail?"

"What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did? He never expressed any unhappiness with my work."

"I never knew I had it in me." (Actually, that may not be too bad to hear during sex, come to think of it.)

"You are unwise to lower your defenses!"

"It's your imagination, kid. Come on. Let's keep a little optimism here."

"Strong am I with the Force, but not that strong."

One that'd be great to hear:  "You have a power I don't understand and could never have. "


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

Dingleberry said:
			
		

> "Back door, eh?  Good idea."
> "I'm afraid our furry companion has gone and done something rather rash."



 

How could I have forgotten THOSE!

Warrior Poet


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Something just moved past my leg!"


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"There's a lot of carbon scoring here.  Looks like you boys have seen a lot of action."


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Your pitiful little band."


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Not a scratch, now - I got your word?"
"Will you get going, you pirate!"


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"You'll be DEAD!"


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

Dingleberry said:
			
		

> "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough."



Man, that one is all kinds of messed up. Good job!


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Having trouble with your droid?"


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"What a wonderful smell you've discovered."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"NO disintegrations."


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

'That's impossible, even for a computer."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Someone's gotta save our skins!"


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"I'm out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!"


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

Crikey, this is fun.


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Just a little higher!  Just a little HIGHER!"


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Well, it's gonna be rough, pal.  I didn't wanna speak for ya."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"Porkins, loosen up!"

"They're comin' in too fast!"


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Oct 14, 2005)

"Mesa Jarjar Binks!"


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## Rel (Oct 14, 2005)

"Uncle Owen?  Aunt Beru?"

"She'll hold together!  _Hear me baby...hold together._"


BEST.  THREAD.  EVAR!


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## WayneLigon (Oct 14, 2005)

'Use the Force, Luke'....
Anything with the word 'Meesa' in it.
What? You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that?
This is getting out of hand! Now, there are *two* of them! 
Don't say that, master. You're the closest thing I have to a father. 
You'll always be that little boy I knew...
The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be ...unnatural. 
Good relations with the Wookies, I have. 
...we do not grant you the rank of master.
_Scruffy_ looking?!
You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?
When nine hundred years old _you _ reach, look as good _you _ will not, hum?


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> "Mesa Jarjar Binks!"



My god, you're right, that's terrifying.

Warrior Poet


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## Rel (Oct 14, 2005)

BAD:  "Sister!"

GOOD:  "So...you have a twin sister."  "If you will not turn to the dark side, perhaps she will."


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 14, 2005)

*LAUGHING*  JD - great idea!!


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## glass (Oct 14, 2005)

Well, any of the line spoken by a Wookie might be a little disturbing...  


glass.


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

"...side by side, as father and son."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"I'd like to take my friend down to maintenance."


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> "...side by side, as father and son."



Check please!


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## GeorgeFields (Oct 14, 2005)

Warrior Poet said:
			
		

> "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"




OMG!!!! TOO Funny!!! )


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## yangnome (Oct 14, 2005)

Over my dead body!

Stabilize your rear deflectors... Watch for enemy fighters


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## DaveMage (Oct 14, 2005)

"It's a trap!"


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## Bront (Oct 14, 2005)

"Let the Wookie win"

"They're holding me back"

"Red, the mother, blue, the boy"

"I will kill you"


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## yangnome (Oct 14, 2005)

Into the garbage chute, flyboy


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

DaveMage said:
			
		

> "It's a trap!"



You just stole Akbar's thunder. How cruel.


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

Bront said:
			
		

> "Red, the mother, blue, the boy"



That's so wrong.


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Slimy? Mudhole? My home this is!"


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

"You're making a mess."

(Getting to the more obscure quotes by now...)


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## Queen_Dopplepopolis (Oct 14, 2005)

Dingleberry said:
			
		

> "Slimy? Mudhole? My home this is!"



 Tehehe!


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Your tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker!"


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

For the men:

"Well, I guess you don't know everything about women."

For the ladies:

"I was born here, you know."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> "You're making a mess."



Could also be filed in the Good To Hear column.   

Warrior Poet


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

Dingleberry said:
			
		

> "I was born here, you know."



Followed by, "You're gonna die here, you know."


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive."

"Hurry up, goldenrod, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!"


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

Warrior Poet said:
			
		

> Followed by, "You're gonna die here, you know."



"Convenient."


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

I've become convinced that we've got enough lines here for a Star Wars rip-off porno-shoot.  We could call it "Star Whores" and use only lines from the original movies.

Any takers?


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

Dingleberry said:
			
		

> "Take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive."
> 
> "Hurry up, goldenrod, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!"



Now I'm in pain   

Good to hear from you, man!

Warrior Poet


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"Put that thing away before you get us all killed!"

"That's okay - I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."

"At that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"

"Not bad for a little furball."



			
				Warrior Poet said:
			
		

> Could also be filed in the Good To Hear column.




If we go down that path, I'd have to offer up:

"Thanks for coming after me.  Now I owe YOU one."


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## Ashwyn (Oct 14, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> I've become convinced that we've got enough lines here for a Star Wars rip-off porno-shoot.  We could call it "Star Whores" and use only lines from the original movies.
> 
> Any takers?



You've thought about this a lot, haven't you? Admit it.


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

"Stay on target.... stay on target!"



			
				Dingleberry said:
			
		

> If we go down that path, I'd have to offer up:
> 
> "Thanks for coming after me.  Now I owe YOU one."



And, "Great shot, kid!  That was one in a million."


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

"You, like your father, are now mine."


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## Riggs (Oct 14, 2005)

Very nice, all.


"Allmoossttt....theerrree........Almost.....therrrreee"

"Pull out Wedge, you aren't doing anyone any good back there!"  (someone fix this for correctness)

"I'm on the leader"

"Evacuate?! In our moment of triumph?!"

"Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me"


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

Ashwyn said:
			
		

> You've thought about this a lot, haven't you? Admit it.



Based on your NTL avatar, we've added a whole new scene for Leia after she gets rescued by the ewoks.

Unfortunately, it will star RangerWickett.


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## Riggs (Oct 14, 2005)

"Obi Wan's failure is now complete"

"...Negative negative, we have a reactor leak down here, gimme a minute to lock it down"

"Nice shot, kid. Don't get cocky"

"This ain't like dustin' crops, boy"

"I used to bullseye womp rats back home"

"The force is strong in this one"  (good thing)


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## Rel (Oct 14, 2005)

Riggs said:
			
		

> "Pull out Wedge, you aren't doing anyone any good back there!"


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 14, 2005)

"GRRAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"


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## Angel Tarragon (Oct 14, 2005)

yangnome said:
			
		

> Over my dead body!



Thats the idea.


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Oct 14, 2005)

Joshua Dyal said:
			
		

> I've become convinced that we've got enough lines here for a Star Wars rip-off porno-shoot.  We could call it "Star Whores" and use only lines from the original movies.
> 
> Any takers?




There already is one out there, although I don't recall the name. Nakia rented it for my bachelor party. I remember it had a lady in blue bodypaint in it, the rest is hazy from all the alcohol and other substances I had injested...


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## kenobi65 (Oct 14, 2005)

"I don't care *what* you smell!"

"I can feel your hate swelling within you..."

"You worm-ridden piece of filth!"

"Get on top of it!"  "I'm *trying*!!"

"Eeee-hee-heee-heee!!" (Salacious Crumb's cackle)


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> "Get on top of it!"  "I'm *trying*!!"


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## kenobi65 (Oct 14, 2005)

There does seem to be a high concentration of these quotes from a certain sequence of scenes in A New Hope, from the rescue of the Princess, through the trash compactor, to returning to the Falcon.  Almost makes you think it's an inside joke...


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## Ambrus (Oct 14, 2005)

I've actually heard a porn scenario made of carefully edited Star Wars sound bites. It's about 30 seconds long but it's hilarious!  

Best quote: "Okay kid. Let's blow this thing and go home!"


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## kenobi65 (Oct 14, 2005)

"Almost there.....almost there....."


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## sniffles (Oct 14, 2005)

"Oh, Ani, hold me like you did when we were at the lake."


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## Warrior Poet (Oct 14, 2005)

"We can't repel firepower of that magnitude!"


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## kenobi65 (Oct 14, 2005)

sniffles said:
			
		

> "Oh, Ani, hold me like you did when we were at the lake."




::shudder!::

If Uncle George starts writing pillow talk for my spouse, I'm outta there.


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## nakia (Oct 14, 2005)

You don't want to  have this exchange during sex:

"How we doin'?"
"Same as always."
"That bad, huh?"


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## nakia (Oct 14, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> There already is one out there, although I don't recall the name. Nakia rented it for my bachelor party. I remember it had a lady in blue bodypaint in it, the rest is hazy from all the alcohol and other substances I had injested...




Hey!  Don't bring me into this.

Okay, it was called "Space Nuts" and had some "droid servicing" IYKWIMAITYD.

And, for the record, _I_ was totally sober.


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

"Why do I have the feeling we've picked up yet another pathetic lifeform?"


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 14, 2005)

"Help me, Obi-Wan!  You're my only hope!...Help me, Obi-Wan!  You're my only hope!"

"...Just like shooting whomp rats..."


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Oct 14, 2005)

Not a quote, but it fits the theme of the thread: 

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=457


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## Crothian (Oct 14, 2005)

Now all we need is sonme people to go home and...use these lines.....

the sad thing is I can see Rel doing that


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> Not a quote, but it fits the theme of the thread:
> 
> http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=457



I really should order one of those...


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## GoodKingJayIII (Oct 14, 2005)

"Lord Vader."
"Yes, Master."
"Riiiiiiiisssseeeeeee."


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## DaveMage (Oct 14, 2005)

Cthulhu's Librarian said:
			
		

> Not a quote, but it fits the theme of the thread:
> 
> http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=457




That is so wrong...

I love it!


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## Henry (Oct 14, 2005)

Never have I cried tears of laughter such as reading this thread. 

I'm seriously thinking of nominating this one for archiving...


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## JoeBlank (Oct 14, 2005)

I can't believe no one has thought of this one yet (my apologies if I missed it, the tears of laughter are clouding my vision):

"No, No! This one goes HERE, that one goes THERE!"


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 14, 2005)

"These aren't the 'droids you're looking for..."


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Oct 14, 2005)

"No blasters!"


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## Desdichado (Oct 14, 2005)

"Always thinking with your stomach!"

Yeah, OK, that's one's actually just kinda weird.  I guess the well's starting to get a bit dry.

Still, it was fun while it lasted.  I'd like to see a few more really good ones!


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## Riggs (Oct 14, 2005)

"Open the blast doors, open the blast doors!"

"The shield will be down in moments...you may start your landing"

"Prepare to witness the firepower of this fully-armed and operational battle station"

"That thing's operational!"

ok these are kinda on the edge of the theme...


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Oct 14, 2005)

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?" 

"Feel the force!"

"Good relations with the Wookiees, I have."

"Use your feeling, and find him you will."


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## Dingleberry (Oct 14, 2005)

I'll throw in a few more (and probably kill the thread):

"Princess, we have a visitor."

"That doesn't sound too hard."

"Mind what you have learned - save you it can!"

"I can't... I can't do it.  It's too big."

"You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done."

"Lando Calrissian and poor Chewbacca never returned from this awful place."

"That's two you owe me, junior."

"Hey - it's me!"

"What's that flashing?"

"It must've had a self-destruct - I didn't hit it that hard."


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## eabha (Oct 14, 2005)

"I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay?"


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## Cthulhu's Librarian (Oct 14, 2005)

And a few more:

"Patience, my blue friend."

"You were right about one thing, Master: The negotiations were short."

"There's always a bigger fish."

"Misa likes the little Jedi. Hesa gunna be a strong one."

"Mesa cause-ed mabee one or duey lettal bitty axadentes..."

"IT'S WORKING, IT'S WORKING!"

"Roger Roger."

"This is getting out of hand. Now, there are two of them."

"Wanna buy some death sticks?"

"I want to go home and re-think my life.…"

"Well, under these circumstances I'd say the ability to pilot this thing is irrelevant."

"Another happy landing."

"Time to abandon ship!"

"Back away. I will deal with this Jedi slime myself."


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## jester47 (Oct 14, 2005)

DUH Guys:

"Its not my fault! Its not my fault!"


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## kenobi65 (Oct 14, 2005)

"Musta hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that."


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## Zithuan (Oct 14, 2005)

From a hidden page on White Wolf's site: http://www.white-wolf.com/rant

Top Ten sexually explicit lines from Star Wars....

10. Get in there you big furry oaf. I don't care WHAT you smell!!
9. Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?
8. Put that thing away before you get us all killed.
7. You've got something jammed in here real good.
6. Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
5. Sorry about the mess...
4. Look at the size of that thing!!
3. Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!!!
2. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.
1. You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.

Top Ten sexually explicit lines from the Empire Strikes Back...

10. I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.
9. Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
8. There's an awful lot of moisture in here.
7. Control, Control! You must learn Control.
6. But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cum....
5. That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for awhile.
4. Hurry up golden-rod...
3. I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?
2. Possible he came in through the south entrence.
1. And I thought they smelled bad...on the outside...

Top Ten sexually explicit lines from Return of the Jedi...

10. There is good in him. I have felt it.
9. Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me, now I owe you one.
8. You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?
7. In time you will call me master.
6. A little higher, jut a little higher...
5. I never knew I had it in me.
4. Grab it, almost...you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy...
3. Hey, point that thing someplace else!!
2. What could possibly have come over Master Luke?
1. Back door, huh? good idea...


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## KenM (Oct 14, 2005)

" .........Now I am the master"


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## FickleGM (Oct 15, 2005)

It looks like I got here late, the best ones have been taken.  This one isn't great, but it is definately something that I would not want to hear during sex:

"Ben" "Ben"

(My name's not Ben)


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## Aris Dragonborn (Oct 15, 2005)

Riggs said:
			
		

> "Pull out Wedge, you aren't doing anyone any good back there!" (someone fix this for correctness)




That would be, "Get clear Wedge. You can't do any more good back there!"  

"Skywalker. You sure you know how to handle this..."
"Sir, Luke is the best bush pilot in the Outer Rim Territories"
"You're all clear kid! Now let's blow this thing so we can all go home"
"Look! It's blowing up from the inside!" "We didn't hit it!"


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 15, 2005)

"Ohhhh...I feel a disturbance in the Force..."

"The Force is strong in this one..."

"woooosh-HAHHHH woooooosh-HAHHHH..."  (DV's respirator)


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## stevelabny (Oct 15, 2005)

I'd participate in this thread but I seem to be late, and anyway

"Joss Whedon is my master now"

(which of course is something else you don't want to hear)


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## Darth Shoju (Oct 15, 2005)

"She's fast enough for you old man!"

"He's no good to me dead."



(I also think it is worth mentioning that my friend told me he and his g/f used to have sex to the Imperial March score)


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## Darth Shoju (Oct 15, 2005)

more:

1. "Even *I* get boarded *sometimes.* Do you think I had a choice?"

2. "That's the idea... I've been looking forward to this for a long time. " 
"Yeah, I'll bet you have. "

3."I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay? "

5."Don't everyone thank me at once. "

8. "We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."

In fact, entire converstations are funny in a sexual context:

"They're coming in! Three marks and 2-10!" 
"... It's no good down here, I can't maneuver!" 
"Stay on target."
"We're too close!" 
"Stay on target!" 
[shouts] "Loosen up!" 
"... Lost Tiree, Lost Dutch... They dropped in behind us, and we couldn't maneuver in the trench. Sorry; it's your baby now. So long, Dave... "


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## Darth Shoju (Oct 15, 2005)

yet more....


1. "I sense something; a presence I've not felt since... "


2. "No reward is worth this. "

3. "What're you lookin' at? I know what I'm doin'. "

4. "Boring conversation anyway. "

5. "Help. I think I'm melting. This is all your fault. "

6. "What are you doing hiding back there? "

7. "One thing's for sure, we're all gonna be a lot thinner. "


8. "I got a problem here. "
"eject!" 
"I can hold it. "
"Pull up! "
"No, I'm all right... ahhh!"


and a good one...

"Look at the size of that thing. "


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (Oct 15, 2005)

Gold Five: "They came from behind!"


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 16, 2005)

"Ohhh! Great warrior!"

"Always in motion is the future."

"Concentrate...feel the Force flow."

"I think we lost something... "

"Good relations with the Wookies, I have. "

"I couldn't stop myself. "

"I can feel your anger. It gives you focus... makes you stronger! "

"Now Viceroy, we will discuss a new treaty."

"This is getting out of hand. Now, there are two of them."

"Much to learn you still have...my old padawan."

"The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."

"Is it possible to learn this power?"

"Uh, oh!"


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## Truth Seeker (Oct 16, 2005)

*Just looking on with tears streaming from the eyes*

-Then adds to the history books-

*Feel the power of the Dark Side *  (babie! It can go either way..LOL)


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## Aris Dragonborn (Oct 16, 2005)

"Now, witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battlestation!"
"Fire at will, commander!" (okay, maybe we'd all like to hear this)
"I'll never join you!"

EDIT: Yeah, ok, Riggs beat me to the first one *grumble*


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## Truth Seeker (Oct 16, 2005)

This has to be, the most cleaniness humor, to ever see...


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## GoodKingJayIII (Oct 16, 2005)

"I don't like sand.  It's rough and course...and it gets everywhere."
"I already tried it, it's magnetically sealed."
"I'm an interpreter, I don't know the difference between a power socket and a computer terminal."
"OOOO conjugal droid!!" (just watch RotJ and tell me Jabba _doesn't_ say that!)
"You're lucky you don't taste very good."
"You were lucky to get out of there."
"You will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years."
"I know that laugh."
"General Veers, prepare your men!"
"Several fighters have broken off from the main group.   Come with me."
"Target, maximum firepower!"
"He's my brother."


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## Darth K'Trava (Oct 17, 2005)

Warrior Poet said:
			
		

> Followed by, "You're gonna die here, you know."




At least, you'd die happy....


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## Darth K'Trava (Oct 17, 2005)

GoodKingJayIII said:
			
		

> "Lord Vader."
> "Yes, Master."
> "Riiiiiiiisssseeeeeee."




ROFLMAO


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## Darth K'Trava (Oct 17, 2005)

Dannyalcatraz said:
			
		

> "Ohhhh...I feel a disturbance in the Force..."
> 
> "The Force is strong in this one..."
> 
> "woooosh-HAHHHH woooooosh-HAHHHH..."  (DV's respirator)




Only if Vader was breathing heavily from the "exertion"....


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## Truth Seeker (Oct 17, 2005)

"AMIDALA: I didn't want to brag about our other secret weapon… Hi, Jar Jar"

"MACE WINDU: Pull the ships out of lightspeed. Now!!!"

"PANAKA: Oh my God. There's a thermal detonator in a ventilation shaft."


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## Animus (Oct 17, 2005)

"This party's over."


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## glass (Oct 17, 2005)

Dingleberry said:
			
		

> "Convenient."



I ws going to say that!  


glass.


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## DnDChick (Oct 18, 2005)

How bout:

"Hey! You're not permitted in there!"



And the technical-sounding but still somewhat kinky:

"The target is a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port."


And we can add:

"Vader! Release him ... "

"Go for the legs!"

"Augh! Go away beastly thing! Shoo! Shoo!"


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## Aris Dragonborn (Oct 18, 2005)

Here's more.

"Oh, not my eye! R2, help!"
"You had a plan for getting in, didn't you have one for getting out?"
"She's gonna blow!"
"Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire by myself"
"Your thoughts dwell on your mother..."


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## babomb (Oct 18, 2005)

"This is not going to work."
"Why didn't you say so before?"
"I did say so before."

"So... you got your reward and you're just leaving then?"

"Look at the size of that thing."
"Cut the chatter, Red 2."

"Into the garbage chute, flyboy."

"What an incredible smell you've discovered! Let's get out of here!"


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## DnDChick (Oct 18, 2005)

"Where are you taking this .... thing ... ?"


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## kenobi65 (Oct 18, 2005)

DnDChick said:
			
		

> "The target is a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port."




ROFL!


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## devilish (Oct 18, 2005)

*Smuggler quotes*

" It's a good thing you have these compartments."
"Yeah, I use them for smuggling. I'd never thought I'd be smuggling myself in them."

"Jabba's through with you. He has no use for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser."


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## Thunderfoot (Oct 21, 2005)

"Let's just say we want to avoid any...Imperial entaglements."
"Yeah, that's what I thought.  Mynocs, munching on the power cable."
"..and no matter what happens, stay in there!"
"Spinning is always a good trick!"
"Stop that, my hands are dirty."
"You'll find that you are mistaken...about a great many things."
"Chewy, get under him!"


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## Kolchak (Oct 21, 2005)

"Only a precise hit will set up a chain reaction."


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## DnDChick (Oct 21, 2005)

I've always found this exchange between Han and Leia in the garbage compactor amusing:

Han: Keep on top of it!
Leia: I can't!


(I should be ashamed of myself!)


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## Hand of Evil (Oct 21, 2005)

And don't forget to add the old stand by to the end of a quote...just say any of the quotes and finish it with...

*IN BED*


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## Raven Crowking (Oct 21, 2005)

Don't know if they've already been used before:


"Control!  You must learn control!"

"_That_ is why you fail."


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## megamania (Oct 23, 2005)

"What do you mean - I'm naked?"

"For his only payment he wanted a clone for himself." (paraphased)

"Not again!"

"Use the Force"

"I have ...accidents"  (paraphrased)


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## megamania (Oct 23, 2005)

and more-

"Don't touch anything ...understand?"

"The boy is too old.."    oh that is bad!

"Going through the core is dangerous!"

"Eat this you do?  How did you become so big?"   parphrased  Yoda meeting Luke


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## Belen (Oct 25, 2005)

"There seems to be a lot of carbon-scoring here, have you seen a lot of action?"

"And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"

"I can't..it's just too big."  "And that is why you fail."

"I did not hit it that hard.  It just exploded."  

"There goes another one.  Negative, it's empty, must have been another malfunction."

"Get out of here, you pirate!"

"I have your word, no scratches."

"Hobby, set your harpoon."

"Imperial troops have entered the base."

"Strike me down and I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine."

"Oh no, I've lost R2!"

"Ok, kid, let's blow this joint and go home."


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## Roadkill101 (Oct 25, 2005)

"Just like Beggars Canyon back home."


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## Rel (Oct 25, 2005)

Roadkill101 said:
			
		

> "Just like Beggars Canyon back home."




You win the thread!


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## DnDChick (Oct 25, 2005)

"Obi-wan _is_ here. I have felt him!"


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## ragboy (Oct 25, 2005)

"He will join us or die, my master."
"Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited."
"Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else."
"Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer."
"Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-wan has taught you well."
"I love you.....I know." 
"You don't have to do this to impress me."

"Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure."

"I assure you, Lord Vader. My men are working as fast as they can."

"The Emperor's coming here?" - disgusting! 

"Strong am I with the Force, but not that strong."

"I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur I see a big light blur."

"Your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister!"

"Your overconfidence is your weakness."

"You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?"

"How are you going to pay for all this?"
"I have twenty thousand Republic dataries."
"Republic credits? Republic credits are no good out here. I need something more real."

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way."

"Don't defy the council, Master, not again."

"I beg your pardon. What do you mean, "naked"?"

"I saw your laser sword. Only Jedi carry that kind of weapon."

"There's always a bigger fish."

"Remember: Your focus determines your reality."

"I'm just a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe."
"Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is."

"Just relax, concentrate. 
What about Padme? 
She seems to be on top of things."

"I wasn't strong enough, but I promise I won't fail again. "

"You know I don't like it when you do that. "

"We'll take him together. You go in slowly on the left..."

"It's all Obi-Wan's fault! He's jealous. He's holding me back! "

"I truly... deeply... love you and before we die I want you to know. " - or any Padme/Annie exchange...

"It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force...but by our skills with a lightsaber. "

"If Obi-Wan caught me doing that, he would be very grumpy."

"...if you are suffering as much as I am, PLEASE, tell me! "

"My goodness, you've grown!"
"To the forward command center take me! "


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## Raven Crowking (Oct 28, 2005)

Worst of all possible lines to hear:


"Meesa Jar Jar Binks!"


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## Dannyalcatraz (Oct 29, 2005)

"Its as big as a moon!"


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## beezer (Oct 31, 2005)

"I see your Shwartz is as big as mine. "   

Well, wrong film, but near as dammit!


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## Psychic Warrior (Oct 31, 2005)

DnDChick said:
			
		

> How bout:
> 
> "Hey! You're not permitted in there!"
> 
> ...





We have Comedy Gold!


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