# "So who's going to be Hotter Marki or Alana"



## Vraille Darkfang (Jun 15, 2007)

Overheard today after I got work.

Group of College Guys where having a Discussion (Beer Influenced I bet, or hope) as to who WOULD BE Hotter; Marki or Alana.

At the time I had no clue what they were discussing.  And passed it off as some girls in their Class or something.

Then I get home & turn on the TV & turn on "So you think you're smarter than a 5th Grader"  (More due to the Absolute Deadness on Thrus than anything).

Of the 5th Graders on the show, 2 are female.

One is named Marki.

One is named Alana.

Coincidence?  I doubt it.

I'm not sure what I found more creepy.

Guys guessing which 10 year old will grow up hottest....

Or that a Playboy spread 15 Years from now Titled "5th Graders, where are they now?" is waaaayyy more possible than I want to consider right now.


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## kenobi65 (Jun 15, 2007)

Vraille Darkfang said:
			
		

> Or that a Playboy spread 15 Years from now Titled "5th Graders, where are they now?" is waaaayyy more possible than I want to consider right now.




Consider this: 5th graders are 10 years old or so.  Playboy tends to like to feature models in their very early 20s.  So, more like 10 years from now. 

Still: EEEEW!


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## Nyaricus (Jun 15, 2007)

Vraille, more then anyone on OT EN World, I enjoy your posts. You always seem to end up in very bad situations, which tend to lend hilarity and brevity to the lives of us mere mortals 

But that last one man, *yuck* :\ What sickos.

cheers,
--N


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## Rodrigo Istalindir (Jun 15, 2007)

At least they were using the future tense.

I remember as a junior in college reading Playboy and realizing that I was older than that month's centerfold.  I think that was the first time I ever considered my own mortality


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## hafrogman (Jun 15, 2007)

Pfft, like anyone even has to ask.  It's gonna be Marki.



...


What?



*Never actually seen the show, just stopping in to be crass.  Carry on.*


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## billd91 (Jun 15, 2007)

Hey, I still feel I need to slap myself silly for finding Kirsten Dunst hot considering I first remember her as the young kid from _Interview with the Vampire_.


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## crazy_monkey1956 (Jun 15, 2007)

I heard somewhere that there was a countdown on the internet for when the Olsen twins would be "legal."

Ick.


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## Vraille Darkfang (Jun 16, 2007)

hafrogman said:
			
		

> Pfft, like anyone even has to ask.  It's gonna be Marki.
> 
> *Never actually seen the show, just stopping in to be crass.  Carry on.*




Here's the trully sad part (I've been hanging around Marketing People too long).

I was watching the show & found myself thinking:

"You know Alana look like a Young Eva Mendez.  She has the Multi-Ethnic vibe that many companies are lloking for.  She could have a decent career as a Child Actor, then do the whole Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera thing "Jailbait thing".

I bame Tiffany Amber Thiessen, Kirsten Dunce, Tatum O'Neil, Brooke Shields, Christina Milian & other "Look, I'm a hottie now" Actresses.  (After the Cold Water Rain Scene in Spider-man, I now feel dirty watching Interview with the Vampire).

That's just not right. Frigteningly Realistic Maybe, but not right.  Her bio (what 9 year old has done enough to merit a bio?) says she "Also display a passion for dance, especially hip hop and jazz."

Having see my share of Hip Hop Stripp.... Dancers in Videos, combined to what I've seen mothers let their pre-teen girls wear in the mall (If you got nothing to Halter, NO HALTER TOPS!  NO 10 year old should wear HIP HUGGERS WITH THE THONG SHOWING!!  Good rule of thumb, take the Heel Height & Multiply it by 3.  If it exceeds the kids age, no High Heels.  And, but not least; an 12 year old girl in a Red Leather Micro Skirt is against the fundamental laws of nature!!! I won't even mention make-up like a cheap tart).

Then I had the thought that convinced me now is not the time to cut out all caffeine.

What if rather than a Playboy Spread 10 years from now entitled "Look at the 5th Graders Now!!"

It was Play*GIRL* with the "Look at the 5th Graders Now!!" Pictorial.

Thanks, Screech, Donny Bonaduce, Butch Patrick, and the Entire Cast from Different Stokes for that possibility.

Edit: I also blame Fergie from the B.E.P.  I grew up watching Kids Incorporated.  Then  vs Now  is slightly disturbing.

Also Jennifer Love Hewitt was apparently on that show....

I just realized.  

These guys weren't being crude...

They had 10 Years Subscriptions to Maxim and were thinking ahead.


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## BOZ (Jun 16, 2007)

Vraille Darkfang said:
			
		

> I also blame Fergie from the B.E.P.  I grew up watching Kids Incorporated.  Then  vs Now  is slightly disturbing.




man, she was skiz-inny back in the day!  she filled out nicely though!  

hmm, playboy... the average centerfold today was probably in kindergarten when 18 year old me picked up my first one.

conclusion... well, hey, every hot girl was a little girl once.  it's best not to think about what was and focus on what is.


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## BOZ (Jun 16, 2007)

crazypixie said:
			
		

> I heard somewhere that there was a countdown on the internet for when the Olsen twins would be "legal."
> 
> Ick.




i remember seeing one for the actress who plays Hermoine in the Harry Potter movies.  don't remember if the consensus was that it was a practical joke, or someone's actual sick obsession.

BTW, the olson twins turned legal a few years ago IIRC.  i think i remember a joke on SNL when Kevin Nealon was still on a long time ago about them one day being old enough for playboy.  the brain is rusty though, so that's the best recollection you'll get out of me.


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## Angel Tarragon (Jun 17, 2007)

Neither, IMO.


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## megamania (Jun 17, 2007)

crazypixie said:
			
		

> I heard somewhere that there was a countdown on the internet for when the Olsen twins would be "legal."
> 
> Ick.





LOL!  I remember that.   Course they grew up to be.....   well.....   waaaaaay too skinny.


I found this thread humorous until I relieze my own daughter is 12 and could be a part of this conversation.....


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## megamania (Jun 17, 2007)

Vraille Darkfang said:
			
		

> Here's the trully sad part (I've been hanging around Marketing People too long).
> I bame Tiffany Amber Thiessen, Kirsten Dunce, Tatum O'Neil, Brooke Shields, Christina Milian & other "Look, I'm a hottie now" Actresses.  (After the Cold Water Rain Scene in Spider-man, I now feel dirty watching Interview with the Vampire).
> 
> .





I have loved Hilary Swank ever since Karate Kid III.   Course I'm her age so I guess that makes it okay.....


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## BOZ (Jun 18, 2007)

yeah, pretty much.  now, if you look at something from when she was a bit younger and get a little too excited, that might be a bit weird...


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## Olaf the Stout (Jun 18, 2007)

BOZ said:
			
		

> man, she was skiz-inny back in the day!  she filled out nicely though!




Somehow I don't think that is 100% organically grown.

Olaf the Stout


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## BOZ (Jun 18, 2007)

quite possibly.  still, i was speaking overall...


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## Thunderfoot (Jun 20, 2007)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Consider this: 5th graders are 10 years old or so.  Playboy tends to like to feature models in their very early 20s.  So, more like 10 years from now.
> 
> Still: EEEEW!



Unless they make it into the "Girls of the (insert College) spreads, then it could be more like 8.  *shudder*


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## Thunderfoot (Jun 20, 2007)

And don't forget Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, before she was 'Fergie' she was Stacey Ferguson - or Stacy,...from KIDS, Inc.  I remember when that buxom lass was 8.  *shudder*


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## Dioltach (Jun 20, 2007)

I feel old. I went through this crisis years ago with Alyssa Milano.


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## kenobi65 (Jun 20, 2007)

Dioltach said:
			
		

> I feel old. I went through this crisis years ago with Alyssa Milano.




LOL.

Go watch "The Phantom Menace."  Keira Knightley plays Sabe, the queen's bodyguard / double.  She was 12 or 13 during filming.


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## Aurora (Jun 20, 2007)

Vraille Darkfang said:
			
		

> Good rule of thumb, take the Heel Height & Multiply it by 3.  If it exceeds the kids age, no High Heels.



By the equation, I would let my 10 yr old wear 3 inch heels. HELL NO! Try multipying it by 5!


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## Aurora (Jun 20, 2007)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> LOL.
> 
> Go watch "The Phantom Menace."  Keira Knightley plays Sabe, the queen's bodyguard / double.  She was 12 or 13 during filming.



Keira needs a sammich.


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## kenobi65 (Jun 20, 2007)

Aurora said:
			
		

> Keira needs a sammich.




Yeah, she does.  A great face, but needs a bit more in the curve department.

I joke that my dream menage a trois would be with Rachael Ray and Keira Knightley, and it would include having Rachael cooking some hearty meals to get some meat on poor Keira's bones.


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## hafrogman (Jun 20, 2007)

Aurora said:
			
		

> By the equation, I would let my 10 yr old wear 3 inch heels. HELL NO! Try multipying it by 5!



I think we need something more like a bell curve.  Because, let's face it, what five year old even needs to be wearing 1-inch heels?  And I REALLY don't want my grandmother wearing 17-inch heels, she can barely stand as it is.


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## Aurora (Jun 20, 2007)

hafrogman said:
			
		

> I think we need something more like a bell curve.  Because, let's face it, what five year old even needs to be wearing 1-inch heels?  And I REALLY don't want my grandmother wearing 17-inch heels, she can barely stand as it is.



ROFL

Yes, a bell curve would probably be best.


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## Aurora (Jun 20, 2007)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Yeah, she does.  A great face, but needs a bit more in the curve department.
> 
> I joke that my dream menage a trois would be with Rachael Ray and Keira Knightley, and it would include having Rachael cooking some hearty meals to get some meat on poor Keira's bones.



BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh damn, that was good.


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## kenobi65 (Jun 20, 2007)

Aurora said:
			
		

> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> Oh damn, that was good.




And then we'd break out Rachael's supply of EVOO. IYKWIMAITYD.


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## kenobi65 (Jun 20, 2007)

hafrogman said:
			
		

> And I REALLY don't want my grandmother wearing 17-inch heels, she can barely stand as it is.




Suddenly had a mental picture of an old lady wearing Gene Simmons' platform boots.


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## hafrogman (Jun 20, 2007)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Suddenly had a mental picture of an old lady wearing Gene Simmons' platform boots.



Yeah. . . it gets really weird when she starts with the black and white face paint and the spiked leather.

*sigh*


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## Storminator (Jun 20, 2007)

megamania said:
			
		

> I found this thread humorous until I relieze my own daughter is 12 and could be a part of this conversation.....




7th grade? Too old for this thread...   

PS


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## Vraille Darkfang (Jun 23, 2007)

Well, so much for enjoying that show anymore.

Marki never got picked, but Alana did (saved the guy's rear twice in a row).

Then there was the former pre-med who didn't know what an esophagus was.

Anyway, all I could think about was:

What will Alana look like in 10 years? (She corrected Foxworthy on her age, she's 9, not 10; thus she has 9 more years before she could move into the Playboy Mansion and be 89 Year Old Hef's Latest Girlfriend).

I don't feel so good now.

Anyway of the various Mental Images that run through my head as to which Hottie would have looked liked Alana at age 9 included: Amerie, Eva Mendez & Eva Longoria.  See for yourself below.  

(Alana's the first one, if you need help).

The funny part was they had ABSOLUTLY no interest in these girls now.  The interest will be in 10 years.  When they are in their 30's.  I guess they are planning ahead to trophy wife #2.


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## Thunderfoot (Jun 23, 2007)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Yeah, she does.  A great face, but needs a bit more in the curve department.
> 
> I joke that my dream menage a trois would be with Rachael Ray and Keira Knightley, and it would include having Rachael cooking some hearty meals to get some meat on poor Keira's bones.



I'd buy that, especially with that EVOO - on second thought, throw out Keira and just give me Rachel.  I'll make something good in 30 minutes, IYKWIMAITYD.


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## Vraille Darkfang (Jul 1, 2007)

Here's a thought:

These kids were pre-chosen because of their good grades.

They then had to go through some sort of Talent Evaluation (Mini-American Idol).

I really hope all these kids just go back to school after this is all done.

My fear is some parent is going to take some casting directors "You kids seems to work very well on camera for this." to mean "This kid is the Best Actor since Brando.  This kid should be a movie star."

I really hope none of these kids (or their parents) try to parlay this into Child Star Status.

I think ay of these kids could turn their "Fifth Grader" Status into a few commercials, maybe even a Guest spot on some CW mid-season replacment series.

But I think if any of these kids try to go the Child Star Route, Hollywood's going to eat them alive (as it does with 95%+ of child actors).


PS at the mall yesterday I saw a 13 year old girl (I know because here mom was talking to her).  Low-Rider Pants.  As in "Built in Pencil Holder"  It might have only been a Quarter Moon, but it was there for all to see.  It had "Juicy" written across the seat.

And 3" Heels.

And a Halter Top.

She was complaining to her mom how she needed a new cell phone.  One that took pictures, video, and mathced the one Susie has.  And is Pink.

Exactly when did parenting become a Request based system as opposed to the Absolute Dictatorship I grew up with?


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## ssampier (Jul 1, 2007)

*this thread is going in weird strange ways*

I always felt a little guilty seeing the "cute teen" on movies or TV and thinking, "What is she going to look like in 4 or 5 years?"

I must - thankfully - say I never considered it for that show, though. The weirdest is the people the acknowledge that the animated Kim Possible is hot.


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## prospero63 (Jul 1, 2007)

It's kind of cracking me up that it seems a number of you are just now realizing that hot women were once little girls.


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## kenobi65 (Jul 1, 2007)

ssampier said:
			
		

> IThe weirdest is the people the acknowledge that the animated Kim Possible is hot.




Ummm... :looks ashamed:


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## Aurora (Jul 1, 2007)

Meh, I don't think that looking at an animated character and thinking they are hot is a bad thing.....necessarily.


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## bodhi (Jul 3, 2007)

Aurora said:
			
		

> Meh, I don't think that looking at an animated character and thinking they are hot is a bad thing.....necessarily.



Depends on the character, IMHO.
Jessica Rabbit, okay. Roger Rabbit, not okay.
Lion-O or Cheetara, okay. Snarf, not okay.

...what?


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## hafrogman (Jul 3, 2007)

ssampier said:
			
		

> The weirdest is the people the acknowledge that the animated Kim Possible is hot.



Is that because she's supposed to be 15?  It's the age thing, right?

'cause Erin E-surance?  Smokin' hottie.


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## Vraille Darkfang (Jul 3, 2007)

prospero63 said:
			
		

> It's kind of cracking me up that it seems a number of you are just now realizing that hot women were once little girls.





Or the opposing Collary:

Your Grandmother was once a Smokin' Hot Hottie.


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## kenobi65 (Jul 3, 2007)

hafrogman said:
			
		

> 'cause Erin E-surance?  Smokin' hottie.




:looks ashamed again:


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## ssampier (Jul 3, 2007)

hafrogman said:
			
		

> Is that because she's supposed to be 15?  It's the age thing, right?
> 
> 'cause Erin E-surance?  Smokin' hottie.




Uh, sure.   

I don't get it myself.


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## kenobi65 (Jul 3, 2007)

ssampier said:
			
		

> Uh, sure.
> 
> I don't get it myself.




Well, see, now, you took a bad picture of her.

Umm...


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## Aurora (Jul 3, 2007)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Well, see, now, you took a bad picture of her.
> 
> Umm...


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## kenobi65 (Jul 3, 2007)

Aurora said:
			
		

>




Now that's just wrong...she's only 15.

Well, that, and she's only an animated character...


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## hafrogman (Jul 3, 2007)

kenobi65 said:
			
		

> Now that's just wrong...she's only 15.



Right.

You've got to wait a few years until she grows up, dies her hair pink, and starts working for an insurance agency.


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## ssampier (Jul 4, 2007)

Aurora said:
			
		

>




Umm, err. Playboy bunny fantasies on the Disney Channel.


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## ssampier (Jul 4, 2007)

hafrogman said:
			
		

> Right.
> 
> You've got to wait a few years until she grows up, dies her hair pink, and starts working for an insurance agency.




Quote. Buy. Print.


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## Dioltach (Jul 9, 2007)

This reminds me of a scene in Red Dwarf, where Lister and the Cat are discussing who's hotter, Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble. They both choose Wilma, only to come to the conclusion that they're crazy for even thinking about her ("She'll never leave Fred").

For what it's worth, I always preferred Betty.


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## ssampier (Jul 16, 2007)

Betty eh? I guess I never saw the appeal of either Betty or Wilma.


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