# 100 Ways to Annoy Wargamers



## MrFilthyIke (Mar 21, 2005)

Since D&D evolved from wargaming.   



> 100 Ways to Annoy Wargamers
> 
> 1. Refer to your miniatures only by their first name.
> 2. Refer to his miniatures only by their first name.
> ...


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## diaglo (Mar 21, 2005)

i'm scarred i tell you.

scarred for life now.


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## CarlZog (Mar 21, 2005)

Hey, I've played with this guy!

Actually, you might have to update some of the references in this list: Bloodbowl? Bloom County? Mr. Roboto? I'm having Cold War flashbacks here.... 


Carl


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## MrFilthyIke (Mar 21, 2005)

diaglo said:
			
		

> i'm scarred i tell you.
> 
> scarred for life now.




I was going to dedicate it to diaglo, but I thought you would think I'm stalking you or something.


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## Evilhalfling (Mar 21, 2005)

101. Move some of his display minatures out of formation (my Collage roomate turned bright red)
102.  Glue his mini's to the ceiling, _Slightly out of formation _


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## Ranger REG (Mar 21, 2005)

MrFilthyIke said:
			
		

> I was going to dedicate it to diaglo, but I thought you would think I'm stalking you or something.



*diaglo* has a stalker???


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## jgbrowning (Mar 21, 2005)

I always liked the, "I didn't know Barbies came in such small sizes" line. 


joe b.


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## BiggusGeekus (Mar 21, 2005)

> 49. Every time you lose a unit, take a shot of whiskey.




You're not supposed to do this?


Dang.  No wonder I keep losing at Warhammer.


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## MrFilthyIke (Mar 22, 2005)

BiggusGeekus said:
			
		

> You're not supposed to do this?
> Dang.  No wonder I keep losing at Warhammer.




Well, the term "last man standing" would take on a much more valid meaning.


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## MrFilthyIke (Mar 22, 2005)

Me favorites

5. Rent advertising space on your unit banners.
7. Dress in character. Sans pants.
8. Perform a play by play commentary in a Howard Cossell voice.
16. Place a hammer on the table before the battle starts. Explain it is there to insure loyalty.
20. Perform a rousing speech to your troops before the battle. Pose like Mussolini at the end.
24. Flock your bases with sand. Do not use glue.
26. Every time your opponent shows you a rule in the book, tear out that page and eat it.
30. Produce two large blunt objects before the games starts, suggest Ironman rules.
32. Place scantily clad female miniatures beside the table to distract your opponent’s army.
34. Give your army a French paint scheme. After the first turn, give up.
47. Name all your vehicles after Dr. Suess books.
49. Every time you lose a unit, take a shot of whiskey.
53. Start each game with the National Anthem
59. Ask if one of your opponent’s female models is seeing anybody.
60. Your only model: a fully scale Godzilla suit.
61. Play with two fake prosthetic hooks, refuse any offer of help.
62. Be sure to put cutesy hearts over all i’s and j’s on all banners and words in your army.
63. Have a spy listening in on your opponent’s conversations. Relay information through semaphore flags.
67. Every time one of your models dies, going into the Fritz and Max monologue from Wizards.
68. Have conversations with the models in your carrying case about why they didn’t get picked.
69. Put springs in your vehicles so they appear to be on hydraulics.
75. Use a croupier stick to move models
78. Suggest playing diceless like Amber.
81. Mandatory conversion for all your models: Pasties.
84. Speak in a golf voice when either of you is moving figures or rolling dice.
88. When it’s your turn to place terrain, dump a box of toy penguins on the table.
89. Claim your tape measure only measures in cubits.
92. Tie slow burning matches in your beard and dress exactly like Blackbeard. Act like nothing is out of the ordinary.
96. Tell your opponent that your kilt wearing models are fully regimental. Show him you’re not kidding.


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## thalmin (Mar 22, 2005)

Ranger REG said:
			
		

> *diaglo* has a stalker???



Umm, when they have badges, they're not stalkers.


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## MrFilthyIke (Mar 22, 2005)

thalmin said:
			
		

> Umm, when they have badges, they're not stalkers.




Badges?   

BADGES?!  

We don't need no stinkin' BADGES!!   

Couldn't resist


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## Ranger REG (Mar 22, 2005)

thalmin said:
			
		

> Umm, when they have badges, they're not stalkers.



*diaglo* has girl scouts for stalkers?


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## MonsterMash (Mar 22, 2005)

Brilliant - I've played people who you could finish War and Peace while they were taking their turn!


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## Keeper of Secrets (Mar 23, 2005)

As a part time wargamer I can assure you that there are far more than 100 ways to annoy a wargamer.  Many of them get annoyed at the slightest thing.


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## diaglo (Mar 23, 2005)

Keeper of Secrets said:
			
		

> As a part time wargamer I can assure you that there are far more than 100 ways to annoy a wargamer.  Many of them get annoyed at the slightest thing.





is that a slight?

_becomes a noid _

diaglo "Void the Noid" Ooi


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## MrFilthyIke (Mar 23, 2005)

diaglo said:
			
		

> diaglo "Void the Noid" Ooi




*pelts diaglo with tomatoes*

Come on, you got better jokes in your arsenal, don't hold back.


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