# Demons in the Mist (October 9th update)



## Desdichado (Aug 13, 2009)

Mademoiselle Castellana di Vicenta welcomed the crew of misfit smugglers and thieves into her boudoir. She smiled as they were shown in by a burly young lady, although not an unlovely one, who looked to have a fair bit of orc ancestry in her veins.

"My lady di Vicenta, I present to you the contractors you asked to see." The half-orc introduced them each by name, and the Lady inclined her head slightly as they are introduced, smiling politely. When her orcish seneschal was done presenting all of them, the lady smiled at her, too, and dismissed her, leaving them alone together. Her boudoir was ornate and covered with filligreed mahogany and gilt and marble. Heavy velvet curtains hung from the high ceiling every ten feet or so, and one of them was open to reveal the setting sun, shining like a blazing lighthouse beacon through the thick glass. The Lady seated herself on a finely made leather daybed in the center of the room, her legs tucked up comfortably under her, and her silk skirts spread out around them like a fan. In her hands she had a number of parchments and scrolls which she set aside to beckon the contractors to sit in smaller chairs in front of her.

"I'm so glad that you've come. I've heard a bit about the exploits of each of you, you know. Making a bit of a name for yourselves across the tablelands." She laughed softly. "And I do so love to employ an up and coming _cause célèbre_. But I don't know if each of you knows the other. I'm sure you'll become great friends over the next few weeks. I sincerely hope that you do."

As a matter of fact, most of the group did know each other, at least by reputation.  Lash and Ricardo had worked together many times before, and were friends from---well, maybe not exactly childhood, but certainly since they were both impressionable youths.  Lash was the hobgoblin con artist.  Some people said that underneath it all he had a heart of gold.  Those who knew him better knew that he had no heart at all, merely a vacant spot in his chest that _lusted_ after gold.  Ricardo was a handsome young human.  Too handsome, really.  He was a magnet for trouble.  He didn't care much about gold, but ladies fell to his charms much too often for his own good.  Although he and Lash had known each other for years, and stuck together through thick and thin, they often caused each other a great deal of grief; Lash's elaborate plans for a get-rich scheme falling through when Ricardo tumbled the _wrong_ noble's daughter.  It wasn't clear if their relationship was a friendship; they were more like and old, shrewish married couple who argued with each other constantly, and yet were almost always seen together.

They both also knew Scritch, the secretive rat-clan shifter.  He had been imprisoned with Ricardo and Shautha by the unscrupulous Baron von Herzograf, and the three of them managed to effect a daring escape together.  He also came across Ricardo while trying to steal the Boyarinka of Vladistok's birthday present... to find the Boyarinka occupied in the bed with Ricardo.  Awkward.  And on that terrible night, just a week ago, when Lash's latest scheme to cheat the elder Kirov brother out of an airship through a loaded dice game went very badly; Kirov ended up dead, and the three of them in hiding for several nights in the crawlspace under Kirov's Razine mansion.

Shautha was a burly half-orc lass.  She wasn't the brightest knife in the drawer and she had an unfortunate tendency to think that she was sexy and attractive.  She was not.  At all.  Men quailled in fear from her advances, but she didn't notice, and came on to them all the time anyway.  At least she was persistent in her lack of success.  As well as being locked in the (dark; he never got a good look at her) dungeons with Ricardo, she also knew Vuukran, the hobgoblin ex-soldier, having seen him fight on numerous occasions, including when he lost his youthful idealism and deserted from Xoth-Sarnath's Red Legion.  For Vuukran's part, he seemed uncomfortable around Shautha and tried to avoid looking into her eyes.

"I have need of you all," Mme. de Vincenta continued.  "A matter of some discretion. I have in my possession a cargo. Of lace, as it turns out, but very fine lace, made with Mistwool, from sheep growing under the Mistline, and harvested by our allies in Samyassa's court. Extremely fine material, and enchanting designs too, if I don't say so myself. And… very profitable at the moment. It has become extremely faddish for the nobility of many kingdoms to wear them, and I need to get them into the market as soon as possible to maximize my profits in the matter."

"Normally, I wouldn't approach such doughty travelers as yourselves to safeguard a ship full of _lace_, but I'm afraid that I have made some enemies in my mercantile pursuits over the years, and I believe that some of my rivals may well try to hijack this shipment, knowing that enough of my fortune is wrapped up in this venture to set me back considerably and reduce my influence for some time. Therefore, my interest in approaching your fine and upstanding company. I need this shipload delivered to Zin, where my brokers can send it to all the various markets where it will be sold. Upon safe delivery, you will be well-paid by my brother Gaspar who handles that end of the business. Can I, then, count on you for this? I do believe there may be more work of an equally profitable nature awaiting you in Zin should you find this assignment to your liking." 

Lash stood, sketched a rough bow and said, "I am honored the Lady would consider me for this task. I will gladly accept and offer whatever service I can, provided your definition of well paid meets mine."

Shautha's eyes lit up at the mention of what kind of cargo it is. "And what would the payment be, Lady?" she asked roughly. 

"I see that you cut straight to the chase," the lady answered. "I admire that. I truly do. As I said, this shipment represents a significant expenditure of my capital for this season, so it is imperative that I get it to Zin as quickly and as safely as possible. For that kind of service, I expect to pay very well indeed; six thousand gold crowns to do the job, payable on delivery. 

A greedy light flashed in Lash's eyes.  The rest of the group merely boggled at the stupendous amount of gold being offered.

"With any luck, you'll be in Zin in no more than a week's time. You can hardly get a better wage than that anywhere else in the Tablelands." The mademoiselle poured herself a small glass of wine and offered the bottle to the contractors. 

Ricardo took the bottle with a smile and a charming grin.  "My lady, I assure you that I, at least, will value a cargo of fashionable lace no less than I would gold ingots. I am pleased to accept your offer and flattered to have come to your... attention."  He set about pouring drinks for his friends, while glancing suggestively at their new patron. 

Scritch stood silent amidst the group, nervously trying not to touch anything too terribly valuable. _So many glittering things, she has!_ The shifter gladly took a glass of wine from Ricardo and gulped it down almost too quickly. 

"Have no fear, milady; should your rivals intercept us, they will certainly sense lace violence."  Vuukran looked around the room a few times, before adding a dejected "...What?"

Shautha smiled at Ricardo in what she hoped was a charming manner and then accepted the glass gingerly, terrified she might break it or spill some of the wine.  She smirked at Vuukran's comment, making her fears almost come to fruition as she bobbled the glass slightly. 

Mme. de Vicenta smiled up at Ricardo, a small flush covering her cheeks.  "Oh, Ricardo! You are such a gentleman." She tapped her chin thoughtfully with a rolled parchment, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "Perhaps I can arrange to meet you in Zin even. Gaspar is a clever fellow, but I hear he's too besotted with certain ladies of the... er... oldest profession to give this shipment the attention it needs when it arrives."

As she watched the exchange, Shautha's expression shifted rapidly between envy, admiration, and awe. This is how the professionals did it.

While everyone else seems focused on the lady and her conversation, Scritch purposefully removed himself from it to a certain extent. Talking with people of class always made him nervous.  Perhaps that is enough to explain why he was apparently the only one who heard a muffled bump and whispered curse from behind a velvet curtain.   His eyes narrowed as he tilted his head slightly, looking at the curtains. Without pausing, the rodentish shifter slipped towards the sound, drawing the curtains aside as he also drew his kukri.  As he moved he captured everyone's attention, and the chatting came to an abrupt stop.

Behind the curtain, looking up suddenly with a very guilty expression on his face, was Vladimir Kirov, the younger of the Kirov brothers, a rather unsavory character to say the least. In his hand a very expensive gold, jade and porcelain vase, and next to him was a narrow podium which was rocking slightly... it's clear that he accidentally just knocked the vase off of and only just caught it in time. His good eye registered a brief moment of shock and panic; his face still bearing the nasty scar that blinded his other eye from the night in the tavern when the gambling scheme went bad. The alcove he stood in appeared to connect to a corridor that turned to the left and headed away from the mademoiselle's boudoir.

"Ahhh... see... I can explain this. You see... Ah, _screw it_!" Kirov threw the vase directly at Scritch's head and turned around and ran.


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## Desdichado (Aug 13, 2009)

This is the beginning of what is---arguably---one of the most successful campaigns I've ever run, and certainly the most successful play-by post game I've ever been involved with.

Because the game was done via play by post (on another messageboard, not here) I also have a very good, and completely complete archive of everything that happened.  This serialized story hour is that record; cut and pasted, and then edited and cleaned up.  On occasion I will bulk up a scene or two, on other occasions I'll pare down a scene or two, and at all points I'll be rewriting, editing and modifying to improve clarity, pacing or anything else that will make this game log read better, including removing any "gamisms" from the discussion.

The setting was an idea stolen from Rel.  Back when he first proposed his "islands in the Mist" setting idea, I took that basic concept, before either of us could even have much discussion about what that concept would mean, and got this game off the ground.  Believe it or not, almost the entire game was made up, on the spot, by me, as we went.  Because I had very little plan as we started, the game "borrows" liberally from every single swashbuckling movie I've ever seen, every pulp story I've ever read, a fair bit of _Airplane!_-esque ridiculous comedy and randy farce, 80s pop culture references, and anything else I could think of on the spot that I thought might possibly be entertaining.

The gist of the setting was that due to some kind of supernatural catastrophe, almost the entire world was covered with a poisonous layer of mist that harbored demons, and was in all respects inimicable to human(oid) life.  Human(oid) civilization did continue, though, mostly at higher elevations.  The area of the world in which this campaign takes place is one where huge, Dr. Challenger-esque tepuis and mountain peaks stick out from the Mist, creating habitable plateaus.  Some of them are quite large, and I envision that the area in which this takes place has at least as much habitable space as, say, the Hawaiian Island chain.  Some of the big tepuis, like Mnar and Vogorizov are each nearly as big as the Big Island, while many, many smaller islands make up the remainder of the map (see below.)

I also used D&D 3.5 as the rulebase, but with a twist.  Perhaps it's because of the Mist catastrophe, but maybe it's something else, but there is no magic in the world.  Nobody knows anything about magic, and if they did, they'd be burned at the stake as a witch by anyone.  So, no class with a spellcasting progression of any kind was allowed.  Also, there are no such thing as elves, dwarves, gnomes or halflings in this world.

I did, however, open up some other options.  I specifically encouraged a few other alternate races and classes, and said that psionics could be a reasonable substitute for magic.  That explains the rather eclectic (from a traditional D&D standpoint, anyway) collection of characters I got.  I've summarized what they were mechanically, at chargen (2nd level):
Ricardo Murciélago, human swashbuckler
Lash, hobgoblin fighter/rogue 
Scritch, shifter ninja
Shautha, half-orc barbarian 
Vuukran, hobgoblin soulknife
They were later joined by Nix, a human rogue, and then even later yet by Rix, a human alt.bard cribbed from the Dark Sun adaptation to 3.5 (that doesn't feature a spellcasting progression, naturally.)

Anyway, I hope you have fun reading the account of this band of fairly clueless, blundering ne'er-do-wells.  Their penchant for charging headlong into trouble and leaving a disaster behind them reminded me vividly of Cugel the "Clever", and I punished the characters heavily for their foolhardiness.  However, the _players_ themselves and I were always vastly entertained by their antics and what happened because of them.

Because I'm essentially editing a play by post log, instead of writing this from scratch, I hope that it advances at a fairly steady pace.  The biggest challenge I foresee is editing some of the... uh... well, let's just say that if I posted it as is, Eric's poor grandma would probably be in a near constant state of shock.  I'll try to step delicately around Grandma, while still keeping true to the spirit of the game, which---as my players were quick to tell me when I suggested I might serialize this for ENWorld---might get challenging from time to time.

Map

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## Desdichado (Aug 13, 2009)

Ricardo immediately places himself between Kirov and Madamemoiselle di Vicenta, while giving the exotically attractive (he still thinks, not having taken a good look at her yet) half-orc girl a wink as if to say, "Don't worry, I'm just buttering up the boss."

"Vuukran, can you catch him? I will protect her ladyship." 

The hobgoblin nods curtly. "Consider him caught." A two foot long matte black blade appears in his hand, seemingly out of thin air, as he trots off after the fleeing figure of Kirov.

Mme di Vincenta looks on the point of swooning. She is clearly distressed.  "I know that man. He is the youngest and laziest son of my worst rival. If he has overheard our conversation..." She grabs the bottle of wine and drinks deeply, directly from the bottle. 

Ricardo is missing no opportunity to soothe her ladyship. He settles next to her on the daybed, steadying her shoulders with a strong arm.  "My dear lady, please--you may count on my associates and I. We have had dealings with those Kirov characters before."  He finds her a glass and helps her avoid the unladylike bottle-tipping. With a glance at the half-orc girl, hoping she'll pay attention, he asks gently, "Where is their estate? Might we not intercept the young ruffian before he can get there?"  It's possible his free hand has accidentally found itself resting on her knee. 

Shautha looks confused. "My lady... Should we detain him?" She advances in the direction the young man ran threateningly. 

Di Vicenta takes another deep drink from her wine bottle. "My dear young lady... _*YES*_! By any means necessary, he must be stopped from getting a message to his father." 

Meanwhile, Scritch dodges the vase as it flies at him, and then his features change as Kirov attempts to flee. His body grows leaner, hunching over as his fingers grow short claws. Tufts of fur appear across his body and his face elongates slightly. He chitters loudly and lunges after the noble.  Scritch takes his kukri between his teeth and bounds forward, moving almost on all fours. As he hits the corner of the corridor, he leaps sideways and lands on the wall, running across it and, ultimately, the ceiling, as he attempts to catch Kirov.

Lash doesn't hesitate, but charges after the fleeing human, pulling his whip free as he does so. 

"His father's summer home in Razina is right on the cliff-face, hanging over the north wall on Rue de Marquand," the madamoiselle continues to Ricardo. "If he escapes from my home, you could possibly intercept him if you cut through Tanner's Street. But he may have associates in town and not head back to his father's estate at all! Oh, this is _tres terrible_!"

Shautha takes one more look at Ricardo and Her Ladyship and then lumbers down the hallway after the Kirov and Vuukran.  Ricardo has of course positioned himself so as to have a view of her backside as she lumbers.  "Do not fear, your ladyship. I, Ricardo Murciélago, will undertake to protect your interests in this affair."  He kneels before her and kisses her hand passionately, trying to recall the layout of the house to see if he can predict the varlet's path.  "I am sure he has not yet left your estate, my dear. Perhaps you can direct me, your willing servant, on the best route to intercept him? Believe me, there is no service I would not willingly undertake on your behalf."

Meanwhile, Kirov turns around and curses, seeing the rather bestial crowd chasing after him (two hobgoblins, a half-orc and a shifter. You don't want to meet this crowd in a dark alley, that's for sure.) A pistol is in his hand, suddenly, and he reaches under his arm and shoots backwards towards the crew with a blast of fire and a deafening boom. It's a good hit in spite of the difficulties of firing on the run, and the ball smashes into Scritch painfully, knocking him to the floor and causing everything to go red for a moment. He hisses angrily and leaps back into the chase, eager to take his ounce of flesh from Kirov.  Then Kirov's eyes widen as he sees that Scritch is barely slowed, he throws the gun down and runs away faster.

The lady points towards another curtain, saying to Ricardo, "Behind that... my private corridor to the kitchens for midnight snacks. It will put you in the same corridor, but more directly. If you hurry, you might yet cut him off." 

"Your ladyship, I exist only to serve your honor."  One last passionate kiss on her hand, with a intense smouldering stare into her eyes, and Ricardo dashes from the room, alert for further sounds of mayhem. He rushes past a startled maid, snatching her tray from her as he goes by.

Vuukran's throws his mindblade, and it slams into Kirov's backside. He hops and stumbles slightly with a pained "Oooph!" but regains his footing and keeps running.

Shautha continues to lumber after the young man. She whips her morningstar across her path experimentally as she goes.  "Down!" she shouts.  Kirov grunts in pain as the morningstar crashes into his chest, smashing his ribs. He coughs blood as he runs, his face pale. 

As Scritch reaches Kirov, he pauses for a moment, vanishing into thin air.  Scritch suddenly reappears right in front of him, blocking his path.  Lash's whip wraps around his feet. He makes a surprisingly graceful pirouette and steps out of the whip's embrace. He glares at Scritch. "You!" Then his one eye widens as he sees Lash, and he instinctively brushes the scar on his face, his expression livid. "You!"  He snarls in frustrated rage and suddenly changes direction, breaking out of the chase and dashing through a door to the side.

Between the wild swing of the half-orcess, the gone again/here again rat-man, and Kirov's deft footwork, Vuukran finds himself slowed up a bit. He mutters under his breath as another sword materializes in his hand.  He hurtles around a corner and sees the Kirov youth still just ahead of him. 

Shautha snarls under her breath, dismayed that her mighty blow didn't stop the human. She veers after him, bellowing. "You will not get away so easily!"

Ricardo comes out of the corridor and sees Kirov running right past him.  He sights carefully and flings the maid's tray at the injured young man's legs.  He groans as the tray, poorly weighted for such an effort, plows into the wall and only merits a startled glance from the fleeing spy. Ricardo sighs and sets out in pursuit. 

Kirov turns back to see Ricardo and his silver platter. "And you too! I should have known!" Shautha manages to turn on a dime and stay right on his tail as he plows through another door and into a room. It's a very high ceilinged bedroom, with the outside wall a gigantic window, overlooking a balcony. Outside, the balcony is very wide with long, ropy ivy hanging to the right. Kirov says, "Pardon me, mademoiselle!" with a slight nod of his head without slowing down as he dashes through the room. 

With a squawk of embarrassment, a naked young lady who looks like a younger version of Castellana herself dives behind a curtain. There's another flash of flapping sheets and a man-sized lump with a 7-8 inch tentpole right in the middle of it covers up under the sheets, hiding his face.

Kirov jumps headlong through the glass window with a smash and grabs one of the ivy tendrils, leaping off the balcony and swinging towards the ground far below.

Scritch lets out another angry chitter and claws his way to the nearest section of ivy and follows the nobleman to the ground, scrabbling along the wall like a squirrel, tumbling as he lands to continue pursuit.  Vuukran fires off a curt "Excuse me, miss." as he grabs hold of the curtain she's hiding behind and leaps forward, trying to swing out the window to position himself for a shot at Kirov.  The younger di Vicenta yelps in surprise. The curtain isn't that long, though, and as he's swinging on it, it rips. Vuukran slides painfully across the balcony grinding glass fragments into his face. He looks up to see the younger girl trying vainly to cover herself, but with the curtain ripped, all she has are her hands. "OK, that's just gratuitous," she says.

Disdaining ivy, or even the balcony railing, Ricardo pours on the speed and the leaps feet-first, twisting to dive between the bars of the railing.  Not failing, of course, to blow a kiss to the startled damsel as he goes by.  "I can't recall if this was the second or the third story. Hm." 

Kirov swings down near the gate, but bungles his landing badly, losing his balance and rolling across the ground to hit the wall, laying on his back with his feet up in the air against the wall near the gate. He groans in pain. Ricardo leaps picturesquely from the balcony and then curses as he realizes the ground is farther away than he anticipated. He grits his teeth and tries to land as softly as he can, but you don't fall that far without some pain. He lands heavily in Castellana's garden, rolling through her prize roses. 

Lash snarls. _Kirov #2 isn't getting away again, especially if it might cost me this job_. He charges toward the window and throws himself through, twisting in midair to lash out with his whip and snag the balustrade, hopefully smashing into Kirov as he swings.  Lash leaps off the balcony, swinging his whip out to grap ahold, but misjudges badly. "Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" he shouts as he lands heavily on Castellana's best rosebushes next to Ricardo

Castellana herself follows on the adventurers' heels, and bumps directly into the poor fellow who was trying to hide under the sheets and then sneak out the open door. His face comes free, and Castellana's eyes narrow as she recognizes him. "Mario. Will this nightmare never end? Francesca, how could you?"

The naked girl screams in reply. "You and Gaspar just don't understand! We're in love! You can't keep us apart!"

Castellana calls out to your group. "When you're done apprehending that Kirov scoundrel, could you come make sure this miscreant here doesn't escape either? I'm throwing him in the dungeon. And no, Francesca, you cannot visit him!"

The naked girl screams in frustration and stomps out of the room. Then she stomps back in, her face red. "I forgot! This is my bedroom!" She grabs a silk robe, ties it violently on and stomps out again. 

Lash moans in the rose bushes, his entire body one gigantic pulse of pain.  _Why is it Ricardo always gets the rose, and I always end up with the thorns? _


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## Ovinomancer (Aug 13, 2009)

As the player of Lash, I feel it important to note that this is not a story of heroism, and does not feature heroes.  The closest it comes is a kind of rough loyalty among otherwise selfish, shortsighted, often willfully stupid people, but even this isn't constant.  It's the story of the idiot henchmen of the evil overlord that were fired for incompetence; of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern; of luckless morons caught in a web of larger events they can't be bothered to perceive, much less understand.  It is often funny, occasionally hilarious, but never noble.

Enjoy.  I know I had a complete blast.


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## Desdichado (Aug 13, 2009)

I love a good Rosencrantz and Guildenstern reference.


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## Seonaid (Aug 13, 2009)

I played Shautha, and agree with every word that Ovinomancer posted. And fear not--it goes only downhill and gets only better as it progresses.


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## Desdichado (Aug 14, 2009)

As a quick preview of some of the things to expect from this story hour in the weeks to come: a robo-elephant, ax-wielding gorillas, the most beautiful and dangerous woman in the world (as illustrated by Luis Royo) and the Lost City of Naked Amazon Hotties Who Ride Dinosaurs (Into Battle.  You Perv.)


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## John Crichton (Aug 14, 2009)

This should be a really good read.  I read 80% of the original PbP before they asked me to play a chracter due to being short a couple of the original PC's.  The last 20% just happened to be more fun because I was interacting not just reading.  

I played Rix.  Mostly.  Someone else played her for a few days before I did.


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## Desdichado (Aug 14, 2009)

_I'm still experimenting with tense and a few other things.  I like past tense better to read, but the game itself took place in present tense.  The last entry I tried to keep as present tense, thinking it would be less work for me to edit (and it was) but... I don't like it as much.  So, back to past tense._

Ricardo coughed and spit rose petals from his mouth, unable to muster the sort of volume that would draw the guards' attention, and carried on in pursuit of the fleeing youth. "Guards! Guards! Stop that miscreant! Your mistress' honour depends on it!"

Meanwhile, Shautha managed a quick grin and smirk at the tentpole and the girl in the bedroom before jumping out the window. She grunted heavily as she crashed into the soft loam, painfully stood up and then trotted over to Kirov, morningstar at the ready. Scritch waved his kukri past the nobleman's face and grinned menacingly...before curling up a fist and punching him solidly in the stomach.

Ricardo stood gingerly and brushed off his velvet clothes.  Recovering a bit of his aplomb, he bowed to her ladyship up in the window. He then drew his rapier.  "You see, your ladyship, we are as good as our word. How shall we dispose of this ruffian?" 

Shautha grinned at Scritch almost ferally while standing menacingly over Kirov. Vuukran minced towards Kirov in slow, deliberate steps, his face a tight grimace while picking shards of glass from it. "Oh, he's going to pay for this. Hold him down for me so I can spill his guts all over the street." 

Kirov sat up woozily, shaking his head. "You've got me," he says. "I surrend_uuurk!_"  Lash dragged himself from the rose bushes, saw the huddled Kirov, pulled his pistol, and shot him. Lash's shot took him in the chest and Kirov fell over. For just an instant before he went down, everyone saw an odd vision; as if a smoky, translucent mask of someone else's visage was being pulled off his face, then it disappearred and Kirov stopped breathing. 

Shautha looked up surprised from her menacing. "Wait, are we supposed to kill him?" Her face was confused. 

"Cht. I didn't think so." Scritch checked Kirov's vitals to see if he was still alive or not...and checked his pockets for valuables or clues. 

"I can't think of a more effective way of preventing him from delivering a message." Vuukran scratched his blood-soaked chin for a moment. "Oh, wait! would you rather we just cut his tongue out instead? Hmm, but then he might still be able to write a message... Cut off his hands, too?" 

Shautha's brow wrinkled in at attempt at thought. "Why don't we just tie him up and drop him at the Lady's feet?" 

"Oh, dear," Castellana called down from the balcony. "I suppose I better call for my chirurgeon. And then we need to talk some more. Things have become more serious."

The chirurgeon was a small man with very thick glasses that made his eyes look gigantic. Mousy gray hair poked up crazily from behind his ears. He tsked and shook his head on seeing first to Kirov, who was then dragged away and locked in the cellars, and then he attended to each of the others. 

Scritch's features softened and became more human as they waited for the chirurgeon. After the small, ginger-smelling man bandaged the shifter up, Scritch quietly joined the rest of the group upstairs. He sat - squatted, really - as everyone gathered together again. 

"This reminds me of the time I was hired to steal the Coruscating Jewel of Emen-Nuhal. I was running down the hallway, jewel in hand and ten score of the Empress's personal guard hot on my heels, when the hallway ended abruptly on a balcony and - Hey, free pistol!" On the way back to the Contessa's chambers, still picking shards of glass from his face, Vuukran stopped to pick up the pistol Kirov dropped during his ill-fated escape attempt.

Shautha rolled her eyes at Vuukran's story. (Note: Ricardo still hasn't seen Shautha from the front in proper lighting.)

Ricardo needed no second request; he was back into the house and, taking a few moments to adjust his outfit (making sure it's clear he played a role in the desperate battle, but that everything's still looking stylish), he followed Castellana back into her boudoir. He refrained from returning to his former seat beside her on the daybed, but appeared helpless to control his smouldering glances in her direction.  "Dear lady, now that the immediate threat is gone, perhaps you could explain why the Kirov family would have any interest in a shipment of lace?" 

Lash, still pulling thorns from his backside, said, "Yes, good Lady, why would Kirov be snooping in your chambers, and, more to my immediate interest, when can I finish ripping his throat out?" 

The chirurgeon tsked again, following them into the lady's chamber. "These field dressings will never do. I'll see if I can tend to you better when we're not so rushed." He shakes his head ruefully again, then packs up his little black doctor bag, mumbling to himself about not trusting people who don't have the good sense to heal right when a doctor's trying to patch them up _(as an aside, I had the doctor's ministrations act as if they were a CLW... but almost everyone rolled really, really low.)_

By now the sun had finished setting, and the lady's servants had stoked a fire in the fireplace, and lit lamps and candles. Her private security had thoroughly searched the grounds (one guard was found unconscious--no doubt the way in which Kirov entered) and vetted the room for secret meetings. It was dark and shadowy, however, and the flickering flames gave off poor light. Castellana sat in her usual posture and place, very composed as before. Her younger sister Francesca sat quietly in a corner, still wearing the short silk robe and nothing else (that you can see) and still scowling at her sister.

Once everyone was finally seated, she answered Ricardo and Lash's questions. "It seems that some of you have had run ins with the Kirovs before. I did not know before now that you were so well suited for this mission, then. The Kirovs are an old family from Vogorizov, and have been trading rivals of mine for years."

"I should also tell you that the shipment of lace is... if you'll pardon the pun... laced with some other items too. Items that the Kirovs particularly want to get, and sell on the black market to expansionist powers in the north like Xoth-Sarnath and Erau. They are mass poisons and other weapons of terror, manufactured by our allies below the Mistline and their value in the wrong hands is incalculable. My brother Gaspar was to take delivery of these items in Zin and from there make sure that only trustworthy allies had access to these weapons."

"I fear, also, that this younger Kirov may have been able to get a message through after all, in spite of your brave attempt to stop him. I saw from the balcony; that effect as if another face were being peeled off of his skin? The Kirov's have in their employ many powerful psions, and that effect is a trademark of theirs when they are 'riding' someone else; seeing and hearing everything that their host does. For that reason, I fear that the job I initially hired you to do may be more dangerous than I had hoped. I think it wise to send my chirurgeon, Doctor Livingstone, with you in case you meet unexpected dangers. I also advise you to choose a route to Zin carefully; if you fly directly there, no doubt you will meet agents of the Kirovs along the way waiting to ambush you, but if you fly more indirectly through the peaks and tablelands, taking care not to be too closely marked as you go, you may be able to arrive without molestation." 

Shautha shuddered at the mention of psions. "Lady, what way do we have to determine if someone is being 'ridden,' as you say, by one of these creatures? And how do we get rid of them once we find them?" 

"I don't know. You would have to consult with someone with psionic talent to answer that, I'd guess. It's not been my practice to keep psions on staff here."

Ricardo followed with, "But my dear lady, will you be safe here with no one to protect you? Perhaps you should consider accompanying us where we can be sure of your security -- I promise you I at least will not sleep soundly worrying that you are at the mercy of these unscrupulous Kirovs." 

Castellana laughed. "I appreciate your concern, Ricardo! I assure you I will be fine. I am meeting with my chief of security immediately after we are done to discuss how to cover this latest gap in my defenses. It will not happen again.

I do have other things where I need to be seen publically and I need to deal with, though, so I'm afraid I cannot accompany you, as much as I would enjoy the adventure." 

Scritch listened intently as Castellana spoke, absently rubbing the Doctor's poultice over his gunshot wound. _Politics...always the politics._ "When do you expect us to arrive? This will affect our travels plans...sooner better than later would be wise." His vocabulary budget exhausted for the nonce, he returned to examining Kirov's fine rapier, taken from his body, with interest. 

"I have no strict timetable. I will begin to worry if you still haven't arrived in Zin in three weeks, but not before." 

"Travel to Sènt-Andriu and hire air-ship to meet us at Zin?" suggested Scritch.  "That gives us an escape if trouble finds us there, also decoy in case we are followed. We could take airship to Iclezza and then second airship to Zin. Also could split up into groups, throw trackers off scent." 

Shautha's brow furrowed in confusion (something that seemed to happen frequently). "I would think that splitting up would not be a good idea." 

Ricardo nodded and leered, still unable to see Shautha's features clearly in the shadows. "Indeed, my dear. I believe remaining close will be essential." 

Castellana waved breezily.  "I leave such details in your hands. After all, you're the ones who will live or die by those details, so plans handed down from me are pointless." 

Ricardo bowed.  "Then we will do our best to fulfill your desires, your ladyship. When does our ship depart?"  And his eyes said, "What are your plans for tonight?" 

"I have an airship ready to depart from my private dock at first light. So make the most of tonight, while you can." She turned directly to Ricardo as she said this last sentence, her eyes clearly inviting him to come back later... 

Before breaking up the meeting, Lash made a suggestion. "My Lady, surely in light of recent developments, namely that the mission's level of danger just dramatically increased, and the minor matter of capturing a spy your security detail overlooked, perhaps we could revisit the amount of compensation discussed?"

Castellana smiled.  "That is reasonable. I will instruct my brother to have an additional 1,500 gold crowns to pay you as a bonus. It will be 2,000 if you arrive inside two weeks." 

Lash bowed his acceptance and withdrew.


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## Desdichado (Aug 14, 2009)

Early the following morning, the entire sore crew stumbled out to the Vicenta private dock, to find a small airship tethered on the roof and ready to go (see image below). Shautha, who spent the entire night wooing any males at least moderately attractive, arrived at the morning meeting point hung over, bleary-eyed, and bruised.  It wasn't a large craft, but it looked to be sufficient for the need at hand, having a spacious cargo hold, and four small rooms with two hammock-like bunks each. It rose to the aft in a poop deck, and it wa suspended by a large balloon made of heavy canvas cloth. In the spirit of pulp stories everywhere, I'm going to make absolutely no attempt to explain exactly how it works; it just does.

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Castellana was waiting to give the departing delegation a handshake and friendly words of parting. Her chirurgeon, the mousy Doctor Livingstone was also on hand, ready to board and very grumpy about being sent away for several weeks on such short notice. She also lent them a pilot. His name is Gustav Ferrandoz.

After bidding farewell to the Lady di Vicenta they all climbed the rope ladder to board the ship, and Gustav took the ship gently away from her estates, silently winging its way over the rooftops, just barely touched by the glow of the rising sun. Razina was quiet this time of morning, but as the ship sailed further and further away from the city, and the only scenery it could see was the dark, roiling bank of Mist below, the silence became eery, making every creak of the ship sound amazingly loud.

Shautha did her best to be polite and gracious in the morning to Gustav and everyone else, but as soon as discussion turned to topics that were out of her league... such as where they're going, she dropped her stuff in the nearest room and herself into the nearest bunk. Within moments, she was snoring.  Ricardo also paid no attention; he headed straight for his cabin and passed out.  Mme. di Vicenta had kept him occupied... fairly late into the evening.  Vuukran leaned over the railing of the ship, pointing Kirov's pistol at the tiny figures of people far below and making "pew pew pew" sounds to himself. He kept himself entertained for a while.

Once underway, Gustav called out, "Well, sirs, do you want to keep the di Vicenta flag flying? We should have a few alternates packed away. Also; what heading? What's our destination?"

Lash held up one finger to Gustav to silence him, then spent about twenty minutes inspecting the ship, testing lines, examining the envelope, and inspecting the cargo balance in the holds.  A rainstorm blew in shortly after embarkation, blowing the ship away from the island with a wind strong enough that Gustav couldn't have made much headway against it anyway (it was blowing almost directly west.) 

Lash found a few alternate flags to fly; plague, Razina, and a strange black flag with a skull and crossbones, an eyepatch over one eye, and a weird covering over the lower part of the skull's face. It looked like a ninja-pirate flag, of all things. Gustav was disgusted that there weren't more choices of flags to fly, he gave the impression that he'd been on more than a few smuggling runs. He suggested to Lash that he pick up a few more flags the next time they made port.  Doctor Livingstone showed Lash a stash of "special" potions, including some that he claimed were Razina's specialty; potions that provide immunity to the Mist-induced poison (and other) damage for about four hours. There were 12 of those potions in small vials. 

Other than that, the ship seemed to be in excellent condition and good working order, it was stocked for two weeks with food and water and the plan was that they'd sail much less time than that before putting down again.  The rainstorm blew until late afternoon, leaving the ship temporarily at the whim of the elements for the better part of the day. Gustav gave up on the heading, just trying to keep the ship as steady as possible for the time being.

Oh, and one of the cargo bins seemed to be moving slightly as Lash inspected the hold.  Scritch, who'd gone over the entire ship with Lash, scurried around sticking his nose into hidey-holes and crates. He made a point to stop by each of their cabins before heading down into the cargo bay, where the cargo bin that is a-quiver attracted his attention immediately, and he sniffed around it hesitantly.  It smelled like perfume.

Lash asked Vuukran to join me in the cargo hold, near the moving crate. Loudly, Lash said, "I'm unsure of what's in this one, Vuukran. Perhaps if you run it through with you blade a few times, it would loosen the nails and we can have a good look?"

Scritch, Vuukran and Lash heard a gasp of alarm, then a female voice saying, "Please... don't do that!"  Lash waited expectantly, with a grin on his face, for Vuukran to stab anyway.

However, the other hobgoblin instead hesitantly added, "I've seen a lot of things in my day, but a talking crate is something new, I have to admit."

"I am not a talking crate," the crate said.

Scritch chittered loudly as the voice emanated from the crate. The voice sounded familiar to him.  "A talking box? It must be magic. Burn it, not stab it?"  The grin on his face belied the serious tone of his voice. 

When Scritch made his suggestion, the voice responded with just a hint of panic, "Can anyone help me open this damned thing?"

Vuukran called back, "We don't negotiate with cargo!" 

Lash sighed heavily. Killing a stowaway did not seem to be in today's plans, much as he wished it was.  "Vuukran, Skritch, would you be so kind as to release di Vicenta the younger from her travel accomodations, find some irons to clamp her in, and bring her to the top deck? I'm going to see if there's some way to Ricardo proof a cabin for the remainder of the journey."

"Okay, fine - one thing at a time, though," the Vuukran answered. "We still haven't figured out what you want us to do with this talking crate." 

Scritch laughed as he started moving his long fingers around the lip of the top of the crate, loosening it to allow their stowaway egress. The younger di Vicenta stood up, a bit dizzy from her prolonged stay cooped up on a box, but still sullen and glowering. She was finally dressed by now, although what she was wearing was outrageously absurd; almost a parody of pirate gear. And, extremely immodest.  Scritch thought that she almost might as well have remained naked after all.  She also looked quite a bit younger than they first realized. "What are you going to do with me?" she asked. 

_OOC:  Here's a picture of Francesca's ridiculous pirate outfit. The style of the picture itself is a little more anime than I normally like, but I didn't want to spend all day fooling around with GIS to get just the right thing._

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"What you doing onboard?" Scritch asked angrily. _Stupid humans, always complicating things!_ He started to rise, taking the girl by the arm as he did and helping her out of the crate. "No place for you!" 

Over the girl's shoulder, they could see the tiny face of a monkey wearing a spotted scarf tied over his head.  He was a cute little fella, also wearing baggy little pants. He peeked up shyly over her shoulder at the big ugly hobgoblins and shifter, and gave a funny little salute to them, kinda like Heil Hobgoblin or something. 

Vuukran returned the Xoth-Sarnathi legionary salute with a crisp snap, and addressed the monkey. "I wasn't aware that we had a commanding officer on board, Sir. Will you and your servant require any specific travel arrangements?" 

Lash whacked Vuukran on the back of the head before addressing Francesca.  "On second thought, we probably need to clap Ricardo in chains, also. I'm not going to turn this cargo over to the Lady's representative along with a besotted and pregnant daughter. There's a limit to the number of enemies I'm willing to have at one time. 

You, young lady, will follow orders on board this ship, or I will toss you overboard into the Mist and forget you ever existed, are we clear? And please tell me you've brought a decent change of clothes. I shudder at what vapid-minded fantasy prompted that outfit.

I'm going topside to ponder this and check our position. And you," jabbing her in the sternum, "will stay below decks until a suitable resolution is found."

Scritch shook his head at the young lady and settled down in front of her. While Lash lumbered up to the main deck, he offered the small monkey a feral smile and a bit of food. 

Francesca hunched her shoulders down even further, her scowl deepening as Lash berated her, but she didn't argue other than to mutter, "Sister, not daughter. Although she's certainly _old _enough to be my mother. And she certainly _acts _like she thinks she's my mother."

It turns out that she was a bit more prepared than anyone expected, though: once she'd been discovered, she revealed that the box next to her was full of stuff she brought for the trip. Including a cot, blankets, a nice fluffy down pillow and a dark red satin sheet that she hung up in the cargo hold itself to create a small little "room" for herself to retire to. Which she then did, still muttering to her monkey the whole time. Not that the monkey seemed to be listening. He saluted Scritch again and gratefully devoured the food he gave it in a flash, then looked around to see if there's any more handy.

When Lash got up on deck, things were not going well. Poor Gustav's face was white. The rain still fell and the wind still blew, but the ship was riding much closer to the Mist than it should be. Sharp, rocky peaks poked through here and there; windswept and barren. "Problem, sir!" Gustav said as soon as Lash reappeared. "The wind seems to have damaged the superstructure around the balloon. I can't bring her any higher, and I'm afraid if we don't fix it, we'll keep sinking right down into the Mist." 

Lash bellowed, "*Hands to the deck! NOW you worthless lubbers!"* 

Ricardo, used to ignoring Lash's outbursts, simply turned over in his hammock.  "Rrrmm... careful not to spill... " His dreams of various exotic women continued uninterrupted.

"My presence is required above deck, Sir. I'll make sure that some of the crew come around soon to see to your needs." Vuukran saluted the monkey and clambered up out of the hold, sliding an eyepatch over his right eye in an effort to appear more piratical.  "What's all the commotion up here, are we under attack?" The hobgoblin paused for a second, then his uncovered eye went wide. "Did you find more monkeys?"  _More monkeys would be so wonderful! _

Shautha fell out of her bunk at the shout. "Wha...?" she mumbled groggily as her hand touched her morningstar. When she perceived that there was no immediate threat, she smoothed back her hair from her face and pulled her tunic straight. After glancing around to make sure no one snuck into the room without her notice, she pulled out an ornate silver hand mirror and checked herself quickly. Satisfied with her appearance, she slid the mirror back into its velvet cover and then that into her pack, and then emerged onto the deck. 

In a calmer voice Lash addressed the pilot, "Master Gustav, how far is the nearest port of call, no matter how mean? I intend to begin dumping cargo, starting with the food and water, and would like to know exactly how hungry I'm going to get."

Gustav's voice was tight. "I'm not entirely sure where we are yet, and I won't be able to tell 'til the sky clears and I can see some stars or sumpn. No matter where we are exactly, we can't have gone so far West that heading due north won't get us to Tableland, but I don't know how long it'll take to get there. Two, three days? Maybe another two or three to find a hint of civilization.

We might be able to touch down on one of these peaks and fix the balloon, and wait out the storm. We can only pray that we've got everything we need to fix it here on the ship. Depending on how badly damaged we are, I can't guarantee it." 

Lash nodded.  "Very well, Master Gustav. Pick us a good rock and head for it. I'm going topside to have a look at the rigging. Tell the rest of them to start prioritizing the cargo for rapid dumping, if it comes to that. Most of the food and water can go first, that should lighten us significantly. And, for spite's sake, make sure one of those knuckleheads doesn't toss the box of potions in their enthusiasm. Hopefully, I shan't be long."

Shautha, still yawning and rubbing her eyes, spied below and a bit to the north a rather largish peak. Looking at it more closely, she could see that a ship had recently crashed on it. And looking really carefully, she could even see what looks like a person standing in front of the crashed ship waving at them.  "Steer for that peak! We could get supplies and we surely outgun him, even if he does have a band of men with him!"

Her voice caught Ricardo's attention in his sleep. A little deep and a little rough-edged, but definitely feminine.  The first feminine voice his sleep-addled ears had heard all morning.  He immediately opened his eyes and said, "I'm Ricardo. Hi." He blinked around the empty cabin and rubbed at his face. Looking up as Scritch opened the door with a bucket of water in hand to make sure he was up, he asked, "Who's the doll?" 

Scritch's forehead furrowed in confusion, not thinking that a vague sound of Shautha's voice could ever possibly be confused for a doll. "The ship damaged. Boss's sister hiding down below. Repairing now." 

Outside, at the very moment Scritch mentioned the "boss's sister", Lash felt a cold wind, like something was set in motion that would lead to a bad end. He shook it off and kept climbing, inspecting the balloon superstructure. 

Francesca (and her monkey) rushed up on deck, her eyes bright with excitement and a smile on her face. "What's happening? Are we under attack? Where's the pirates?" She waved around a cutlass and a pistol, and actually looked like she was somewhat familiar with them. 

Vuukran glowered at Francesca disdainfully. "You may want to put that blade away and leave this to the professionals, or you're liable to become a cut lass yourself." 

Francesca grabbed one of his arms, smiling. "Maybe later you can show me how to use a sword better. I don't have as much experience as I'd like. Plus: I've never seen a hobgoblin fighting style before. I'd love to see your moves sometime soon!" 

"You don't want to see them, I can assure you," Vuukran answered "The legions of Xoth-Sarnath teach a group of hobgoblins to fight as one. You don't face one hobgoblin sword at a time: you face ten. Ten hobgoblins march forward, thrusting their swords hilt deep into the bellies of the enemy, howling with rage as their blood spatters across them, then stepping back to allow the next line to step forward and attack in the same manner, until all ten rows of the century have bloodied their blades. No one who sees hobgoblin swordwork lives long enough to tell of it."

Francesca blanched just a bit, unsure whether that was innuendo or not, and if so exactly what it was supposed to mean.

Belowdecks, Ricardo said to Scritch "What happened to the shi-- Wait. Boss' sister? The naked one?"  Grabbing his swordbelt and his pistols, he rushed into the companionway. He heard a new female voice up on deck and zipped up the stairs.  "Oh, no."  He saw the girl eyeing Vuukran. A "gob"-ler. _Sigh._ 

When Ricardo appeared on deck, she let go of Vuukran's arm, although she gave him a shy, uncertain smile still. "Oh, hi! Ricardo, wasn't it? I... uh... caught a little bit of your performance with my sister last night. Most impressive." 

Lash took careful note of what needed doing for repairs, and clambered back down to the deck.  When he got down and saw the stowaway, he roared, "I told you to stay below decks! Get yourself stowed before I stow you myself!"

Francesca dropped her cutlass in surprise at Lash's bark, then picked it up and hurried back below decks, to all appearances properly intimidated. Shautha raised a speculative eyebrow in Lash's general direction at that impressive display of dominance.

Francesca gave Vuukran and Ricardo a sly smile and a wink on her way down, though. Although she seemed a little unsure in her smile to Vuukran. She wasn't not quite sure if he was trying to hint about a gang-rape of hobgoblins, or just unable to respond to her innuendo in kind. Either way, his answer was sufficiently disturbing to keep her away for the time being.

Lash glared at Vuukran (glaring at Ricardo was never any use) and muttered,  "Why do I think that girl is going to have something to do with my agonizing death?

"I see we're all up, now, and that our extra passenger is common knowledge, but we need to deal with more pressing matters first. The storm has damaged the rigging and we can't repair it _en route_. We're making for the mountainside there, to ride out the storm and effect repairs. Since we don't know what else might be there, I want everyone in combat gear now. 

Don't just stand there... MOVE!"

"Certainly, my noisy friend," Ricardo answered with a nonchalant wave. "I'll make sure the young lady is properly stowed away."  He turned to go, but not without one more savouring glance at the half-orc girl's backside. If only she'd turn around...

Ricardo was never not entirely stupid; he went to put on his armor _before _leaving his cabin to go look for Francesca. 

Vuukran thought to himself, "Hmm, the girl's commanding officer knew the Imperial salute; he should be familiar enough with hobgoblin swordwork to able to tell her about it. I'll have to remember to mention that to her if she asks me again."

Aloud, he added "Combat gear, got it! Boots? Check. Pants? Check. Shirt? Check. All set!" The hobgoblin thought for a moment, then switched his eyepatch from the right eye to the left. "Now I'm all set!"

The airship descended rather quickly and lurched to a hard stop, hovering just a few feet over the mountain peak.  The anchor was thrown overboard to keep it in place. Gustav pulled the ship almost all the way down to the ground, and kept it in the lee of a large horn of rock while the storm blew still. It was still raining, but otherwise everything is eerily quiet. The silent, roiling Mist was only a few feet below, spread out on all sides like a menacing enemy. There was very little space clear on this peak, and nothing much in the way of shelter, plants or anything resembling life.

The ship that crashed previously looked to have done so recently. The wood was still hale and strong (except where the timbers had broken, of course) the bodies strewn on the ground were pale and somewhat bloated, but they couldn't have lain here for much more than about a week. Fat ravens cawed at the ship as it pull up close, poking at soft, rotting flesh with their beaks.

The person who waved turned out to be a young woman, with short hair and dark skin, who ran up with desperate relief in her eyes.

_Enter the sixth PC, a slightly late add._


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## AuroraGyps (Aug 15, 2009)

Hobo said:


> The person who waved turned out to be a young woman, with short hair and dark skin, who ran up with desperate relief in her eyes.
> 
> _Enter ..._



_

Me!   From my PC's first meeting with the other players, I knew this was going to be an interesting game, but I never guessed just how interesting it would be.  What a crazy, crazy ride. _


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## Seonaid (Aug 15, 2009)

Hey, Hobo, you might want to clarify in post 9 that Kirov wasn't killed by Lash's gunshot.


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## Desdichado (Aug 15, 2009)

Right; negative hitpoints.  He didn't actually die, because Dr. Livingstone stabilized him and he was sent to the dungeon.


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## Desdichado (Aug 20, 2009)

She ran towards them desperate, but not stupid.  She was cautiously optimistic about the chances of being saved.  She was dressed in leathers, wrapped in a bedroll, and holding a piece of canvas over her head.  She gets up turned on seeing the ship land, and ran over to a pile of things set up against a small incline of stone. She sat on top of a small chest, with her back to the rock, and waited there for any people that might come up to her. 

The rodentish shifter was the first a-peak, hopping over the side of the airship and moving around the newcomer, sniffing curiously at her as he picked through the remains of the dead. 

"I'm afraid I've already done that." Nix said to the man sorting through the crew that lay about. "I've already stowed the things I really want, so you all can have the rest, " She held up a large and lumpy sack and then placed it on a pile of what seem to be weapons and other things. 

Lash suddenly bellows from on deck. "Leng take me, is that you, Nix? "

"Who wants to know?" 

Lash grinned, and said, "Don't you play coy with me, you scallywag. What happened? Did you steal the captain and stuff him in you bag? Or was it the sails? I'm starting to wonder if we barely avoided crashing here, or if you just pulled off one of your heists!"

But then his eyes narrowed a bit and he asked, "How did you managed to find yourself here, lass. Coincidences this close to the Mist worry me."

Lash raised his voice again to carry over the ship, "Keep a close watch, all. No telling what's lurking below that Mistline, and two juicy airships landing here is bound to attract some attention. With our luck, at least."

"You know each other?" Scritch asked cautiously as he settled on his haunches by the hobgoblin. He laughed softly, his Fu Manchu moustache quivering over his lips. _The Demon-Rat would love this one!_ "What happened to air-ship?" As the crew disembarked to scavenge from the wreckage, he rose to his feet and waves the rest of the group over to them. 

Nix stood up and shook the water off herself. "What didn't happen to it?" She let out an exasperated sigh. "A run of bad luck, that I know. Why we really crashed, I can't say, since I was asleep at the time." 

The shifter bobbed his head up and down sadly. "Bad things happen whenever friends sleep. Ricardo, he always cries when sleeping, like something is hitting him with big wooden sticks." 

Lash paused, and looks around. Then, in a low, menacing voice he growled, "Where *is* Ricardo?" 

Below decks, Ricardo has escorted Francesca to her cabin.  "I should really go see what's going on up top. Those friends of mine, they're probably-- Uh. Oh. Oh, dear. Okay, go ahead." _Lash is so going to kill me for this. _

Shautha jumped lightly (for a half-orc barbarian girl) off the ship and strode confidently over to the edge of the Mist, standing with her back to it, as if daring it to get her. "How did you say your ship crashed?" she asked the stranger suspiciously.

On hearing more of Lash's conversation, though, she relaxed marginally. "You know her? Strange. And, as you say, coincidences near to the Mistline are probably not coincidences." 

Belowdecks: "Look, you really shouldn't be undress-- No, they look fine, it's just your sister-- I don't like to compare, honestly. Maybe you should do those buttons back up now." 

Lash was getting more and more frantic.  "No, really. Where. Is. Ricardo?!"

Scritch perched atop some rubble and looked back meaningfully towards their ship to answer Lash's question. 

"I haven't seen him. I'll go back and get him." Shautha jumped slightly less dextrously back onto the airship and pounded down the stairs to the bunks. "RICARDO!" 

Vuukran absentmindedly picked at one of the large fangs protruding from his lower jaw as he appraised the situation. "This the strangest ship I've ever been on, and that's saying a lot. A woman appeared out of nowhere for Ricardo, and now one has done the same for Lash. What manner of sorcery is this?" 

Shautha tossed a wink back at Vuukran as she went by. "I'm still available for you." 

"The gods pity fools and small children. The rest of us, they torture for eternity." Scritch continued to scan the Mist-shrouded peak, all too aware of the dangers that could emerge at any moment. 

While the crew scavenged what repairs they could from the ship, Scritch reached within his vest and retrieved a small leather pouch. He whistled for a moment to catch Vuukran's attention, then tossed it to him.  The pouch contained 80 gold pieces. 

Vuukran rifled through the pouch, assessing its contents, then cocked his head and arched an eyebrow at the shifter. "What the Dog* is this for?"

_Is he trying to buy the half-orcess off of me? I don't own he- wait... is this the fee for bedding her? By Dog, that's expensive! _

"From Kirov. Equal share for equal danger, with one-tenth kept back for the Demon-Rat." He rustles around inside his vest before producing a similar pouch and tossing it to Lash.

Lash buried his face in his hand for a moment, a la Picard.  Taking a deep breath and dropping his hand, he shook his head as if to clear it, and made a visible effort to pull himself upright.  "Right, done is done. Might well as try to change the wind. I'll deal with Ricardo and our stowaway later. For now, we need to concentrate on repairs. Vuukran, would you assist me in picking through yonder ship for the things we need? Another set of eyes and a strong back will make things go faster. 

The rest of you mind what I said about keeping a sharp eye. We are not safe here."

Vuukran vaulted over the edge of the ship with careless ease and trotted over to Lash. "Sure thing, not-Captain! Oh, and pleased to meet you, Lash's woman." He bowed with too much of a flourish before Nix, then lifted his eyepatch to give her an overly exaggerated conspiratorial wink.

"If it's pairs of eyes you want, it's too bad we're not in Mnar. Did I ever tell you about the time I was negotiating a peace treaty with an island full of aranea? They've got four pairs of eyes each! Anyway, so there I was, all alone, thre rest of the expedition lost to disease, starvation or worse, surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of pairs of eyes as I addressed their Queen..." 

The shifter hopped down as several of the crew begin digging in the wreckage he was perched atop. He prowled around the mountain peak for a few minutes, silently gauging the Mists as Vuukran prattled on about his fantastical adventures, before skittering up atop a small rock outcropping and pulling out his bow. The ratling settled in on himself, bow out and ready for trouble. 

Inside the ship, Shautha started banging on closed doors. "RICARDO!"

Entangled with one woman and hearing the approach of another is a situation Ricardo knew how to handle. That husky voice called out from the bunks above, and down in the cargo hold, in Francesca's little boudoir, he leapt into action.

"My dear, it would go poorly for us both if we were discovered. Perhaps we can continue this enchanting conversation some other time..."

Francesca's charms seem to have discombobulated him more than he thought, for he was unable to resist a last lingering caress before slipping under the curtain and sprinting for the bow companionway, wincing as he knocked over a stack of lace, hoping to avoid the other woman he could hear above.  He failed.

"Oh! Hey, there you are. It's... Shautha, isn't it?"  _It's dark down here but she's certainly well-built. Hm, possibilities._  Ricardo pitched his voice quiet and assured, giving his best "suddenly I'm engrossed in you, baby" impression.**

She waggled her eyebrows at the man. "Yes, it is. But for now we're both needed topside." She pointed vaguely in the direction of the peak. 

"Yes, of course."

Ricardo straightened his cuffs and offered the Shautha a quick bow, then dashed up to the deck.  "Lash, what seems to be the trouble, my old friend? What a ruckus you're causing." 

Shautha peeked curiously down the hallway before shrugging and following Ricardo topside. 

Lash glared at Ricardo from the midst of the other ship's wreckage and called back, "You missed a lace on your breeches, my dear Ricardo. And I'd appreciate it if you could keep a watchful eye out for danger where I can keep an eye on you," Lash finished in a mutter. Lash actually had no idea if Ricardo really did miss a lace or not, but he'd been around the block a few times with Ricky, and he was confident he was right.

Ricardo scarcely heard Lash. There was a gorgeous human woman standing on the rocky peak. A wet gorgeous human woman.  "Oh, my dear, has no one seen to your needs?"  He immediately crossed to the dark-skinned girl and offered her his hankerchief.

"At least dry yourself. Perhaps I could accompany you aboar-- well, actually, I do need to be out here. You see how my friends rely on me. I am Ricardo Murciélago, adventurer and trusted partner of the di Vicenta family from Razina. And may I say how pleased I am to be able to assist such a lady as yourself."

He bowed gracefully and kissed the girl's hand. 

Shautha rolled her eyes and then jumped off the ship to help the others search the wreckage. "Anything in particular we should be saving? I know nothing about airships." 

Finding the material Lash and Gustav needed to make the repairs was not difficult, but it would take them a couple of hours. Only Lash and Gustav knew what they were looking for; the rest of them could only offer strong backs to carry material onboard.  Francesca came out on deck after having spent a little bit of time in the tiny ship's galley while everyone was working. It turned out she was quite talented in the galley, and she had turned the rather unpalatable rations into something that everyone quite liked. She had also apparently dropped the snotty spoiled brat routine and the would-be underage vamp routine for now, and was quite charming, although she avoided looking at or talking to Ricardo as much as possible. When she did catch his eye, she inadvertently drops[ed her eyes to her breasts and frowned.

Her monkey was in a fine mood, too. He saluted Vuukran again, then paced back and forth on the table with his hands behind his back, babbling at high speed, occasionally stopping to jab his finger at charts or diagrams that he makes with a pencil (the diagrams don't make any sense to anyone else) or gesticulated wildly. No one had any idea what he was saying (except maybe Vuukran), but apparently he considered himself quite an authority on whatever it is he was talking about.

When lunch was done and the repair work was about halfway done, the weather changed. The wind slowed and the rain stopped, and even the sounds of Lash and Gustav working, or the rest of the crew moving and talking seemed muffled and quiet, as if covered in a thick blanket.

To the right, a low organic clicking sound suddenly cane out of the Mist. Every other sound stopped. Then they heard it again to the left. And behind.

*** _Dog is one of the beings worshipped in the area.  He's a gigantic Dog... apparently immortal... who lives on one of the little plateaus near Mnar's southern edge.  He's a relatively benevolent little godling; as long as he gets a sacrificial virgin to eat two or three times a year, he leaves everyone pretty much alone.  Over time, pretty much all the characters starting swearing by Dog and taking his canine name in vain, which I thought was kinda amusing._

**** _It was a running joke for quite some time that Ricardo hadn't actually had a good look at Shautha and was laboring under the delusion that she just might be attractive._


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## Desdichado (Aug 20, 2009)

Scritch's talents didn't extend to the manual labor side of things; he stayed atop his perch, keeping his eyes on the Mist-shrouded edges of the mountain peak. As the noises echoed across the now-silent tableau, he rose to his feet and nocked his bow.

Lash breathed, "Back to the ship, now, Master Gustav, but slowly. Make us ready to cast off."  He shouldered the last of the needed parts and walked calmly toward the ship, with no sudden movements. 

Gustav was pale and sweating, despite the chill. "If we cast off now, we'll just sink right into the Mist. We can't cast off until we fix that superstructure, and that's another good hour of work to make it usable." 

"Master Gustav, you do as I say. If we are to be overrun by Mist demons, do you fancy your chances here on this rock, or airborn below the Mistline with the Lady's good potions to help us live long enough to effect repairs, hmmm?" Lash responded much more calmly than his expression showed. 

Vuukran backed slowly towards the ship, intent on letting his comrades board first. He peered through the Mist with grave intent as an ebony blade materialized in his hand.

Within moments all of them saw four strange creatures bound out of the mist, moving extremely fast. They were vaguely houndlike, although there was a strange suggestion of almost humanoid shape to them, as if they were once people who were corrupted and mutated into these soulless creatures. Huge, dead-black eyes, like those of a shark, stared unblinking from their heads and their mouths were gaping maws filled with jagged teeth that looked like grimy shards of broken glass had been jammed into their gums. They were very gaunt, and grayish skin covered their thin, bony bodies. They moved quickly to attack before anyone could get aboard the ship.

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Ricardo had been chatting with Nix all this time, utterly absorbed. He looked up when he heard Lash speaking calmly.  _That only happens when things have gone very, very bad. _ Lash dropped the part he was carrying, drew his cutlass in one hand and a pistol in the other, and stepped to the north side as to be the closest to that... thing.

"Changelings!!!" Vuukran spat in disgust at the sight of the wretched creatures and stood his ground, waiting for them to strike.

Scritch allowed his feral side to erupt forth; as he did so, he loosed an arrow at the nearest of the Mist creatures. He then quickly scrambled down and sprinted towards the ship. "To the ship!"

"If you don't get out of my way, you may end up with a sling bullet in your head and that's really not my preferred way of saying 'hello'." Nix said sharply to Ricardo, pulling our her sling and a small stone bullet.

"I'm sure we can come up with something far friendlier, my dear."

Ricardo kept one eye on the approaching creatures and another on the young woman's shapely ankles.  "But why don't we get to the ship and carry on getting to know each other there?"

"Ricardo! Fighting first!" Lash growled 

Scritch and Nix both hit the same Mist thing. As the arrow and stone hit it, it thunked hollowly, as if the creature were made out of wood. The arrow stuck in its flesh, but it did not bleed. It was clear that it had any permanent effect, although the creature did flinch briefly from the blows, at least. Two of them bounded like demon-cheetahs towards Scritch, their claw-like appendages throwing gravel behind them. They leapt up to his sitting position, scrabbling on the rock and debris, and snapped at him with their jagged jaws. One of the jaws snapped like a bear-trap just out of reach, but the other one chomped down on his leg. The ragged teeth tore a chunk of flesh from the shifter and as it pulled its teeth away, shadowy tendrils of icy darkness continued to worm their way like maggots through the wound.

The other two leapt forward, but instead of closing and biting, their mouths gaped open really wide, like snakes dislocating their jaws, and a stream of hideous shadowy little figures flew out of their mouths. These little tiny creatures were all teeth, glowing eyes and nasty temper, and they swarmed over Ricardo and Nix, biting and clawing at them. 






Ricardo shivered with disgust as he brushed the creatures off his cloak.  "Are you alright?" he called to Nix.  "Get to the ship, quick as you can!"  He immediately turned to brush the remaining creatures off Nix's clothes, keeping to the shoulders and back, of course. Of course. 

Shautha bellowed incoherently and charged the nearest one.   She suddenly seemed much larger than she did a moment ago. Her clothing ripped in such a way that no naughty bits were revealed, but pretty much everything else was. She swung the morningstar with ease, bearing down on the Mist creatures.  The morningstar bashed the head of one creature, turning it completely around. With a creaking sound, it re-aligned it's head and did that clicky growl again, and pressed its attack.

"You want to help? Grab a side!" Nix snapped at Ricardo as she grabbed one of the handles of the small trunk.

"Of course. Just a moment. I don't feel so--"  Ricardo reached for the chest and then collapsed, bleeding from hundreds of bites as the creatures swarmed over him. 

Lash's whip snaked out at the Mist thing that Scritch and Nix had already shot and snapped across its body like a thunderclap. The creature seemed to melt into a fetid pool of oily vomit. 

Gustav screamed like a little girl and ran for the ship. Dr. Livingstone did pretty much the same. Francesca backed away towards the ship, trembling in fear, her eyes wide, but she still popped off a shot at the thing Shautha and Vuukran had attacked with her flintlock pistol, and it too dissolved into vomitous goop.

Scritch growled angrily as the Mist-creature savaged his thigh. Slipping upwards on the outcropping, he nodded once as Lash came to his aid, taking the hobgoblin's distraction in stride as he vanished from sight...

... and reappeared on the other other side of the creature, short sword in hand, bow in the other, and stabbed it. 

Shautha savaged the fourth beast with her morningstar. Her inhuman screaming continued unabated, as if she didn't even need to take breath. *

_Trouble seems to follow the foppish dandy around like a social disease. Still, it would seem like a waste to let him die on this rock; he might prove useful yet._  Vuukran willed another black blade into existence, then bounded deftly along the rock and debris until he stood above Ricardo, his blade cutting a menacing swath in front of him.  "Filthy changelings! You'll not have the chance to feast on our hearts this day. You'll taste our blades instead!"

One of the Mist critters breathed his blasphemous breath all over Scritch and Lash while the other one snapped at Shautha, savaging her with a sound like crunching glass. The maggoty shadow tendrils bore into her body.  Lash turned from the beast he had destroyed and caught a faceful of the other's evil breath.  Staggering for a second, he reoriented himself into a flanking position with Skritch, and swung his cutlass at the vile demon, scoring a hit and dealing a solid blow.  "Back to the Mists with you, demon!"

Nix propped Ricardo on the top of the trunk (like over a saddle), made sure his head didn't hit the ground, and started dragging the trunk towards the ship. 

"No, sweetheart, I like the black ribbons..." 

... pausing only to stuff his hankie into his mouth.  But by that point, the four demon-hounds were all dissolved into oily black vomit.  The black ichor started to flow together. When it joined, it rose up and started to take shape. Within moments, a figure stood before them. A figure of femininity gone horribly, horribly wrong.

The figure was a naked woman; tall and fit, with a monstrous face split by a wide mouth with needle-like teeth. Between her legs was another... orifice... of some kind, also with needle-sharp teeth and a lolling, greasy tongue hanging down nearly two feet in length. She had large breasts... six of them, stacked in three rows, and her face had two sets of eyes.

"*HOLD, MORTALS*!" she called, and when she spoke, her voice sounded like four women, an eagle, a snake and a walrus all speaking at once. 

"Ricardo, wake up! Your services are needed."  Vuukran shook him desperately.

"We make no bargain with demons." Scritch hissed angrily as he sheathed his kukri and began backing away towards the airship. 

The demon-woman looked at him curiously after he spoke. Then she looked at all of them, especially Nix and Francesca and Shautha. "*IT SEEMS MY MEMORY OF THE MORTAL FORM HAS FAILED AFTER SO MANY AGES*." She stopped for a moment, and her form shimmered and changed. Suddenly she was a searingly beautiful woman with pure silver hair and piercing gray eyes. She was clothed in only a diaphanous gauze of pale red, wrapped loosely around her body.

Gesturing at the flag flying from your airship, she spoke again. "*YOU BEAR THE SYMBOL OF THE ALLY OF SAMYASSA. I WISH NO QUARREL WITH SAMYASSA*." She gestured again, and everyone was completely and fully healed of all their wounds. "*WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE, ALLIES OF SAMYASSA?" *






_Ricardo, stay asleep! Your services are the last thing we need right now! _ Vuukran immediately stopped shaking him.

This was definitely above Scritch's paygrade. _The elders forbade trafficking with demons, lest we lose our souls..._ He looked to the others, then back to the shapechanging demoness, then back to the others. 

But as the magical healing went into effect, Ricardo was immediately awake, alert, and formulating plans. His mind was razor-sharp, his focus clear and his purpose... purposeful. He pulled his hankerchief from his mouth without any sign of concern as to why it was there, and stuffed it back in his sleeve as he studied, with a growing smile, the vision before him

_Silver hair? Pale eyes? Diaphanous gauze?_  Ricardo bowed. THIS he knew how to handle.  "Most beautiful enchantress, we are nothing but poor refugees from the storm, seeking a safe haven where we can repair our vessel and be on our way. If we have trespassed, my friends and I, please allow me to offer any service within my power as recompense.  I am in every way your humble servant, my queen. I wish only to please you." 

"*YOUR OFFER PLEASES ME. I WILL ACCEPT YOUR SERVICE AND YOU WILL BE MY EMISSARY IN THE MORTAL WORLD." *With that, the woman turned transparent and gradually faded away. The only thing left was the faintly blowing wind. 

"Did you just sell your soul to a Mist Demon, Ricardo?" Scritch asked, amazed.

"Mist take me, I hope so."  Ricardo sighed, straightened his collar, and looked around with a bright smile. "What, aren't we ready to go yet?"

Shautha was staring where the enchantress stood, yet again facing away, but no matter. The human girl was right here. Ricardo turned and gave her a big smile and bent to pick up the chest.  "No problem, my dear, allow me." 

Scritch repeated himself, a little louder. "Did you just sell your soul to a *Mist Demon*, Ricardo?" 

"Hm? A mist demon? What gives you that idea? No, no, just some disembodied spirit, I'm sure. Nothing to worry about. Mist demons look all horrible and such. Nasty teeth, I understand.""

The chest was a little heavy for him, but he managed to struggle up the ramp onto the ship. He turned back to wink at Nix.  "We'll have to find you a cabin, my dear. I hope you don't mind sharing." 

Watching Ricardo walk away, carrying her trunk, Nix commented to Scritch, "If so, I hope it's the only soul he sold. Who knows how a... person.. like that exactly thinks." She looked at Scritch and raised her eyebrows. "We know her memory of how we look is a rusty.. who knows what she may have forgotten about our languages or words."  She sighed, shook her head, and continued to follow her trunk. 

Scritch moved quietly past the two hobgoblins and muttered quietly to them before examining his leg. The wounds had healed themselves, but he feared the taint would linger. "Watch him. If the demon has taken him, he will show the signs soon enough."  He hurried onto the airship to find Dr. Livingston. _The chirurgeon would be able to help, wouldn't he? _

Vuukran muttered, more to himself than anyone else, "By Dog, the only way we'll ever have any hope of him thinking with the right head is if we castrate him and shove it into his ear."

Lash stared into the space left by the apparition for a minute or two after it disappeared. Then slowly looked at Ricardo's back, then at the Calça jack flying at the stern, then back to Ricardo, and back to the now empty space. He also shook his head, and said, "Who the Mist is Samyassa, why are we it's allies, and DID RICARDO JUST SELL HIMSELF TO A MIST DEMON?!?"

*** _Another running joke was that Shautha, when she raged, turned beautiful, just for a few moments.  Kinda like a sexy She Hulk._


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## Desdichado (Aug 28, 2009)

Ricardo carried Nix's trunk to Shautha's cabin. As the half-orc was still outside talking with the hobgoblins, he just set the chest down outside the door.  "The young half-orc, you must have met her, has this cabin. I'm sure she won't mind if you share."  He points down the companionway with a roguish grin and a good-humoured wink.  "My room is right there. In case Shautha's not to your liking." 

As soon as he leaves, Nix sits on the trunk, rubs her face with her hands and mutters something in Gnoll to herself.  "Oy vai." _(Translated from Gnoll)_ 

When the demon first appeared, Shautha had been torn between bowing down before it and striking it with her morningstar, still bloodied from the Mist creatures. Her rage had slowly dissipated, though, and as Ricardo spoke, Shautha's jaw dropped in a very unseemly way. _What was he thinking? It is one thing to revere the demons, but an entirely different thing to give them everything they want without proper negotiation! We are all doomed._
She kept her eye on the demon until it disappeared and then turned back to the ship, very much resigned to what she hoped is just Ricardo's fate. But as the Mist knows, the demons have a way of dragging everything and everyone into their webs. She paused in her tracks and then resumed after a moment. _I should have left him to rot in that stupid dungeon!_  When she reboarded the ship, she just shook her head at all the chatter and looked for some way to help get them out of there.

Whistling cheerfully to himself, Ricardo tidied himself up in his cabin, getting a fresh hankerchief and making sure his hair and cloak were back in place.

Then he set out to find Francesca. Poor little thing was looking a trifle down, no doubt because of how he'd had to leave her earlier in the day. A little cheering up is what she needed. And maybe a little competitive spirit stirred up in her breast -- Ricardo never met a little sister who wasn't competitive with her older sister.

Gustav had swooned. Yes, swooned. Dr. Livingstone was huddled in a corner, trembling over a puddle of his own vomit. Francesca was more composed, but her eyes are still wide and she's staring into space. (All the NPCs failed their Sanity checks!  The PC's didn't have to make Sanity checks, they're the "heroes!") With the liberal application of a couple buckets of water, everyone was awakened and cleaned up, and the ship was soon repaired and ready to go. Ricardo pranced around the ship ignorantly, wondering why in the world everyone was staring at him that way.

The monkey was hiding in a cabinet with the charts in the Captain's cabin. He was still mumbling to himself in Monkey about where he thought they should go and what they should do. Also, there was a strange book sitting in the cabin that wasn't there before. It was bound in black leather and had gilt page edges, and a gold clasp. It was clearly a work of art and something very valuable. However, no one could read it.  In addition to the rather disconcerting fact that this book just appeared out of nowhere (as near as anyone could tell can tell) it seemed to give off disquieting emanations of some sort. Something about this book, besides its abrupt and unexplained appearance, was unnatural.

When the ship was fixed, Lash wasted no time getting back in motion. It was late by this time, and early stars were starting to appear. Gustav located their position using the stars and a sextant and told everyone that they'd blown west much farther than they could have traveled without the storm giving them extraordinary speed, and were (almost) directly south of Sènt-Andriu. 

"Good," Lash answered. "Whatever 'welcoming committee' that bastard Kirov helped arrange should be waiting for us to the East. We should head for the passage between Terrassa and Erau and take the inland passage. That way we only have regular pirates to concern us.  And could someone do something about this monkey before it damages the charts?"

Shautha studied the book carefully before handing it over to someone else. "This," she proclaimed, "is demons' work. If we try to throw it overboard, I'm sure it will just reappear. If we try to burn it, the flames will not touch it. If we douse it in acid, it will eat the acid. We should put it somewhere out of the way until its purpose is revealed. As it certainly will." She finished with a dark glower in Ricardo's direction. 

"Book must be the words of the Mist Demon to her new slave...Keep Ricardo away from it?" Scritch's taste for conversation exhausted, he foun himself a nice quiet hidey-hole (aka his cabin) and performed the cleansing rituals passed down from year to year year from the Kriisa elders, trying to free himself of any lingering taint from the Mist. 

Shautha spent the next several hours (I'm sure) trying to coax the monkey into being her friend, and chasing it around the ship.  "Wow, your standards are really slipping," Vuukran commented.

"Vuukran," Shautha asked curiously, "do you really understand what the monkey is saying, or are you just guessing?" 

The hobgoblin started to answer, but then shared a knowing wink and nod with the monkey instead. Shautha rolled her eyes. 

Lash dragged Ricardo into a cabin and explained to him, multiple times, exactly what he did and who he was talking to. Ricardo was frankly relieved to be pulled away from Francesca, as she'd gotten decidedly more... intense in her "friendship"... At first he wasn't really paying attention to the hobgoblin, so busy was he planning his strategies for Nix, and Francesca and that Shautha ("I wonder that's the SAME Shautha from that dungeon? Never did get a chance to see her..."), but eventually it sunk in and Ricardo was horrified. "WHAT? And with the teeth and the breasts and... WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?"

When he heard that the beautiful woman he'd promised to serve started life as a freakish demon-thing, Ricardo was what you call FREAKED OUT.  "Okay, but allies of Samyassa, that's not so bad. That's that angel supposed to rule a kingdom in the mist, around here somewhere they say. Maybe she wasn't a demon. Maybe she was an angel. You think maybe...?"

Ricardo didn't bother finishing that question; he knew what Lash was going to say. "We need more information."

Lash sat back and grumbled.  "You really got yourself into trouble this time.  This is worse than that 'incident' with the cross-dresser in Kadath." 

"NOTHING HAPPENED!" Ricardo insisted, his face going flat.

"Except you cried then, too."

"I'm not crying. Francesca was licking my eyes." 

"Ok, ok. You aren't crying. But you should clean yourself up before you go out and I'd say something about how smoke from the lamps blew in your eyes to explain the puffiness."

Lash continued, "By the by, about Francecsa.... Hands off, Ricardo, I mean it. She's the sister of our employer, remember her? Rich lady, paying us, had sex with you, is paying good money to move weapons of mass destruction, knows more assassins than you do whores? However pretty you are, and however much you impressed her in the sack, she'll have you castrated for fooling around with her sister, especially after fooling around with her.  Remember back in Torregina? The twins? This will be worse. Way worse." 

Ricardo was affronted.  "Me? You think I'd betray our business interests, our partnership, for the sake of a pair of blue eyes?"  Then he thought about the twins.  "Well, alright, never mind that. Don't worry about Francesca; that situation is under control. Castellana is not going to have any cause for jealousy, even if she were inclined that way about me, which I assure you she is not.  "Delivering her sister safe sound and with a good report of us is going to do us plenty of good with Castellana. I can make sure she's happy a lot better than you can." 

Otherwise, the trip to Zin was relatively uneventful. Between Lash's diligence and Francesca's nervousness following "the incident" of inadvertently getting pregnant with Rosemary's Baby, Ricardo's advances in that regard were frustrated. Dr. Livingstone checked each of them out in detail (especially Nix. He spent a very long time examining Nix. Shautha he kind of rushed through nervously.) and gave everyone a clean bill of health; no traces of taint or corruption that he could see. For the moment anyway. Francesca's monkey (who had been unfortunately named Mr. Peepers, a name that he did not appreciate) becomes good friends with Vuukran, swapping all kinds of rather simplistic and boring stories about being pampered by Francesca, and before that, swinging in the trees in Mnar as a youngster. He seemed to be much more widely traveled than Vuukran ever suspected, but his memory and ability to determine important details was sketchy at best, as was his vocabulary and ability to communicate complex thoughts. 

Assuming, of course, that Vuukran really _could_ understand him.

Scritch had a number of really bad dreams about toothed, shadowy maggots burrowing through his legs, and twice he woke up from such dreams to find the mysterious book sitting in his cabin, as if watching him, although he knew for sure that it was not there when he went to sleep.

The book itself seemed to exhibit some unusual properties, if that's not merely imagination. Sometimes the characters seemed to be different, as if the writing was spontaneously changing languages when no one was looking at it, but still nobody could read a word of it. Gustav got physically ill when he could see the book, and refused to be in the same room with it. Francesca, in an effort to stave off boredom, suggested that everyone play cards, betting food rations as stakes. Amazingly enough, she could eat like crazy and still look like a coltish, thin youngster. And she did seem to win. A lot. Everyone that spent any appreciable time playing with her went hungry more often than not.

Despite some creaking and the occasional need to climb up on the balloon and make adjustments, the field repairs and spare parts held out and the airship had no further problems. They also had good traveling weather, managed to avoid pirates, and had apparently thrown any pursuit by Kirov's agents off the scent with the unexpected landfall. Shautha, after losing all her meals for the day to Franesca, attempted to shoot, lasso or otherwise catch some birds and cook them, maybe, but they taste tough, dry and slightly rancid. The most common breed they saw while traveling were carrion eaters like ravens, crows and vultures anyway, although an occasional eagle or hawk flew by in the distance. Bats were also a common sight, but nobody was desperate enough to eat them, even the large unfurred carrion-eating.

Shautha spent some time of the journey trying to scare the poor doctor. She also spent much of her time trying to determine if Vuukran really could speak with the monkey or not.  Though she did not seek it out, she also did not avoid the book and when it was convenient, she studied it in the hopes that some magic of the Mist would let her understand its purpose.  It didn't.  She also gambled recklessly, often getting angry and stomping away from the table at a particularly bad or foolish loss, but she always came back the next time for more.

Scritch spent the remainder of the trip in a couple of places: his cabin, where the sounds of tribal chanting could occasionally be heard, the cargo bay, where he curled up amidst blankets and bedding and naps during the day, and the rigging of the airship itself, where he spent the nights he wasn't tortured by nightmares enjoying the breeze and surveying the Mist-shrouded world.

Occasionally, he could be found returning the book to wher it normally was kept. After losing a day's worth of food to Francesca, he stopped gambling but did watch the others play, obviously enjoying their company but not providing much in the way of conversation himself. 

Finally after twelve days of travel, they arrived at Mnar and could see Zin in the distance. Mnar itself was a rather flat plateau, stretching off into the distance, with sharply falling red sandstone cliffs that angled near the top. Zin was built literally on the cliff itself; the lowest levels were carved into the side of the rock, and treacherous paths, rope bridges and ladders, and rickety scaffolding made up the "streets". At higher elevations, it came to terraces where the buildings were much more substantial. The richest Zinians lived on the top of the plateau itself, away from the edge. Zin was a large city of several hundred thousand regular residents and a few tens of thousands of transient residents at any one time, and was possibly the most cosmopolitan city in the entire region. Airship and flying mount traffic was relatively thick as they approach edthe city itself, and a guard mounted on a giant eagle flew out to their ship to welcome them and determine their business in Zin. 

As they get within sight of the mainland, Shautha took deep lusty breaths at every opportunity. "Ahhh, Mnar! Home sweet home!" she crowed.

Lash ignored her and answered the eagle guard.  "Trade, resupply, and repairs, likely in that order. What news in Zin?" 

He looked bored, especially since they were still flying the di Vicenta colors, which he recognized and wasn't about to mess with. He pointed Lash towards their local estate and gave him some really boring news about the succession (the King was getting on in years and his many, many children by many, many women, were coming out of the woodwork. And mostly getting assassinated as soon as they did) and about rumors of unrest in the interior. Settlers, trappers and downright crazy people alike all agreed that something was going on. The most common story was that the gorillas and the gnolls were going to war with each other, although some people said that they had allied with each other and would instead march to war against the cities along the edge of the plateau.

Vuukran whispered loudly to the monkey, "Did you hear that, Commander Bananas? Gorilla warfare!", then shook his head sadly. 

Given their connections to the di Vicenta family, the eagle guard didn't charge them any docking fee, warned them that his only function was to charge docking fees and/or other tarriffs and that once they were in Zin itself their safety and security was their own affair, and let them go. 

Before changing heading for the di Vicenta estate, Vuukran presented Commander Bananas, the name he claimed was the monkey's _real_ name, with a crude monkey-sized pirate hat and eyepatch that he had made for him during the journey, and promised to buy him a nicer set as soon as he could.  He also admitted, somewhat awkwardly, that he wasn't aware that Shautha was from Mnar. "Have you ever been to the Great Bazaar in this city? I've heard so much about it... I've been told that the prices are Zinsane!" 

At Vuukran's question, Shautha kind of blushed. "Oh, uh, I've never actually been to the Bazaar . . ." she mumbled. 

Upon seeing Mnar from the ship, Nix's mood turned sour. 

They flew deliberately over the rooftops, up to the higher elevations where the rich lived.  The di Vicenta estate had a fair bit of real estate, up on the highest levels of the ridge that made up the plateau rim. From here they could see the sunken interior of the gigantic Mnar plateau, farmlands extending a mile or two away from the city to end at a shrieking, steaming treeline where the infamous jungles of Mnar started. The estate was surrounded by a thick wall, and their ship was helped by liveried servants and slaves to the docking platform, and pulled down and secured. Francesca gulped slightly as she saw her older brother Gaspar waiting for them to disembark. "Maybe I'll just stay here in my cabin while you meet with Gaspar." she said.

Gaspar himself was a finely dressed (and fine-looking) man, tall, dark and handsome. He smiled as they started to disembark. "You were as good as dear Castellana promised! Congratulations on your swift arrival!"


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## Desdichado (Sep 8, 2009)

D'oh!  Fell off the first page!  I need to make a permanent link to this somewhere so I don't accidentally lose it.

In any case, I'm finding that it _is_ nearly as time consuming to edit and modify the game logs as it would be to write it from scrach anyway, so I apologize for the rather lengthy delay.  I've also been very busy with work recently.

I do hope to get another update (or two.  Or three) done still this week, though.


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## barsoomcore (Sep 11, 2009)

Ricardo does NOT prance.


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## AuroraGyps (Sep 11, 2009)

barsoomcore said:


> Ricardo does NOT prance.




Not yet.


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## Desdichado (Sep 11, 2009)

Shautha threw caution to the wind and smiled coquettishly at Gaspar. "Some of us are quite good in other ways, too." 

Ricardo meanwhile, took hold of Francesca's arm in a firm grip. "Not a bit of it, young lady. You'll go back to your family safe and sound. Your older sister would never speak to me again if I allowed you to risk yourself. There's nothing you can do to change my mind." 

"She probably won't ever speak to you again anyway. She doesn't look back when it comes to boy toys." 

"I'm not known for looking back, myself. But that's hardly a reason to risk incurring her displeasure." 

Lash chuckled at Gaspar's comment.  "We suffered some damage in a storm just out of Razina. The repairs are holding, but you'll want to dock her and give her an overhaul. Master Gustav performed admirably, and likely saved us all from certain death.

As soon as you've verified delivery, we'd be delighted to settle accounts and discuss future endeavors."

Liveried slaves and workers started unloading the cargo as Gaspar walked up the gangplank himself. "Come on, don't be shy! You've got payment to collect, and I'll entertain you tonight, and you can stay here at the estate for a few days. I think there may be some more opportunities for lucrative work right around the... _Francesca_?! What are you doing here? _Dressed like that?!"_  He glared at her, then turned to Lash for an explanation. 

The shifter chittered amusedly. "We found some cargo not on manifest." 

"Ah, yes, our stowaway,"Lash grimaced. "She hid herself among the cargo, in a prepared crate. I'd check among your hands in Razina for her accomplice, as she definately had help. Her safe return is the least we could do for such generous employers. No additional compensation is required, but we would not be so crass as to refuse your gratitude. "

Ricardo bowed and added, "We were as astonished as yourself, señor, when we found your sister hiding within the cargo hold of our ship. We would have returned her, but the storm that caused the damage you see made that impossible, and we decided the safest course was to bring her here where we knew you would be able to take charge of her."  With a perfectly polite smile, Ricardo gestured for the young woman to cross the deck towards her brother.  "We are happy to be able to deliver her, safe and sound, into your care."

Gaspar was livid. "Fran. Ces. Ca! I want you off the ship now, and out of those ridiculous clothes and into something decent. Then I want you out of my sight the rest of the night. I'll make sure that you are closely guarded."

Francesca was on the verge of bursting into tears. Gaspar sighed. "Yes. Well, if you'll follow me, I'll see that you get paid." An armed guard lead Francesca away, but at the last minute the monkey jumped off her shoulder and climbed up Vuukran's leg to stay with him.

Gaspar lead the group into his brightly lit, semi-open air office and counted out the gold crowns that they were promised; a fairly heft sack. Then he sat back and relaxed a bit, noticing them individually for the first time. He winked and grinned and Nix especially. He gulped and smiled nervously at Shautha. "Hola! Please, all of you, make yourselves at home. Dinner will be served in two hours, and I imagine you'll want to clean up after your long journey and get more comfortable. Is there anything else I can do for you in the meantime? I never want it to be said that the di Vicenta's are poor hosts to those who are in their favor." 

"Perhaps a tour of the estate?" Shautha batted her eyelashes at Gaspar. 

"Uh..." Gaspar looked around quickly, desperately, hoping to find something that he had to do, but coming up blank. His shoulders sank. "Sure, milady." He offered her his arm.

Shautha smiled at Gaspar and took his arm rather gently for someone of her size and demeanor. "I look forward to getting to know you better, my lord. I can't wait for the dinner tonight." She chattered on somewhat inanely as they walked away. 

Commander Bananas chittered in Vuukran's ear after Shautha and Gaspar left. 

Gaspar sighed and started telling Shautha about the estate. "And over there is my bedroom..." Suddenly his eyes went panic-stricken and he clapped his hand over his mouth. "Ahh... I mean... my... uh...Oh no. Oh my... Uh... Shautha, you're... uh... your clothes... You're, uh, having a bit of a wardrobe malfunction... [size=-2]please let that be an accident[/size]" 

Vuukran's eyes went wide with shock for a moment before he composed himself.  _Dog, when my time in this world is over, I pray only that you fetch me away to a world free from changelings._  Leaning over to the other hobgoblin, he whispered, "Lash, we may be in trouble. Appearances to the contrary, that is not Gaspar di Vicenta." 

_Duh-duh-DUUUHHHHH!!!!!_


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## Desdichado (Sep 11, 2009)

Ricardo had wondered off to look around the grounds, hoping to catch sight of Francesca or some notion of where she might be, but is entirely distracted 
lots of very, very comely young ladies on the staff. Wearing cute little French maid outfits. 

Shautha, meanwhile, had fake half-swooned onto Gaspar's shoulder and reached down to fondle him. 

He fainted himself and leans over on her. Shautha smiled and waved at one of the staff nearby. "Your master has fainted! Tell me where I may take him so he can recover!" She paused almost imperceptibly. "His personal chamber, perhaps?" She heaved him into her arms and she strode purposefully toward the main building. 

Ricardo flagged down one of the maids.  "Young lady, perhaps you can help us?" 

"Monsieur, I would be only too 'appy to help you... with anything you may require." 





Ricardo felt bad abandoning the fellow with Shautha and the gang, but well, this woman needed somebody. It only took a few moments for them to fine themelves huddled in a broom closet.

Shautha leads Gaspar into the bedroom. He was semi awake, but still somewhat woozy. "Wardrobe... malfunction. Wardrobe... malfunctION!" Suddenly he came wildly and fully awake as he realized that Shautha was laying him down on his bed and undressing him.

Meanwhile, after being ignored by Lash at nearly every conversational opportunity this voyage, Vuukran could barely contain himself at the prospect of someone listening to his stories.  Nix leaned in to listen to the two hobgoblins, which only encouraged the ex-legionnaire more.  "Nix, I have it on good authority", he nodded at Commander Bananas, "that the man who introduced himself to us as 'Gaspar' is, in fact, a changeling! We are all in grave danger, particularly Shautha at this moment. We can't let him out of our sight!"   The monkey started babbling and screeching again. 

Ricardo, meanwhile, was also seeing to about pumping the Celeste the maid... for information about recent goings-on at the estate, in particular recalling Castellana's concerns about her brother's apparent distraction.  "Oh! Ah! Yes! Right zere! What? Oh, yes. 'ee's been... ahhhhh... Acting strangely. Yes. Yeeesssss! Oh, don't stop! What do I ....uhnn.. mean? Well... not like 'eemself. Ze staff... we 'ave been lonelier than we are used to. So lonely. Until you come. And 'ee does not... ahhh... yes... keep 'ee's normal routine. 'Ee comes and 'ee goes at... ah... odd times." 

"Well... everyone knows that if you're feeling faint, you're too hot and need some clothing removed, after all. Especially in a hot, jungly climate like that here on Mnar," Shautha said by way of explanation. She will dismissed anyone else from the room and leaned over him with her large breasts in easy view . . .

Nix sighed. "Right. Well, I suppose I do owe you all for the rescue." 

Nix took a deep breath and headed off to join Shautha and Gaspar.

At the view of Shautha's cleavage, suddenly Gaspar's reluctance seemed to fade. With a wondering look on his face, he reached up to grab a handful, and... Nix barged into the room.

"Are you two alright?" She lstared meaningfully at Shautha. "The climate can take a bit of getting used to, I know."  She then sat down next to Gaspar, "and you must be overwhelmed that your little sister was in danger and is now safe." She smiled at him. On the outside.

Gaspar smiled. "Both of you? At the same time?" and started slipping out of his pants. Outside, the monkey was screaming. 

Commander Bananas, sniffing curiously, went running down the hall, turned twice, and stood in front of a cupboard in the kitchen. Scritch and the hobgoblins followed quickly, and opened the cupboard door to see the body of a man who looked like Gaspar! Except that he had been dead for at least a week, maybe closer to two. He reeked, and his eyes were rotted out and his skin was starting to stretch back over his teeth and gums grotesquely. The monkey screeched again and points. Scritch hissed irritably. "Never easy. What did I do to deserve this punishment?" 

"Great work, Commander Bananas!"Vuukrain said with a smile. "Hmm... it looks like the ladies of the di Vicenta family are the ones who have inherited all the looks, rather than the men." 

"Where's Ricardo?" Lash asked, his voice low.

"Shautha is with 'Gaspar,' and Nix went to them. I don't know where Ricardo is." Scritch drew his kukri and turned towards the section of the manor where he last saw him, but there was no sign of the man.

Meanwhile, Ricardo whispered in the maid's ear.  "My dear, I understand you are enjoying yourself, but surely such screeching is not required. We might be discovered by some of the kitchen staff."

Back in the bedroom, Shautha looked at Nix in confusion. "Who let you in! Uh, I mean, I'm from Mnar, I don't need to get used to the climate. Um, I mean, uh, can we help you with something?" Her face colored as a look of incomprehension grows.

But as Gaspar slipped out of his pants, Shautha frowned. "I don't think now is the time. You did just faint outside." She looked again at Nix in confusion.

"Ah, well we're just getting to know each other." she said, encouragingly to Gaspar. "They rescued me, ya know." 

She looked back at Shautha. "In our line of business, I believe getting to know people is very important." She gave a penatrating stare at Shautha, which was quickly replaced by a smile, and then she glanced at Gaspar. She batted her eyes at him and then turns them to look at Shautha. All the while thinking, "Please get what I'm saying."

Needless to say, she did not.

In the kitchen, Lash stared at the corpse of Gaspar, his mind working furiously. He reached out to grab Skritch before he could go anywhere.  "Skritch. Wait. We need to think."  Lash pondered for a few more moments.

"Vuukran, we need to take this slow. I'm sure the whatever Gaspar is he's not planning to do anything to us immediately, so we have a bit of time. He certainly isn't going to do anything while Shautha tending to him, not if he wants to survive. Let's find out where we stand, and then do something incredibly rash," Lash grinned widely, "Mayhem is always better when there's a plan going wrong." 

"Skritch, I need you to do a few things, please. First, find Ricardo, tell him Gaspar is dead, and the Gaspar we met is a changeling. Then, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, tell him to find Francesca and make sure she's safe. Then, I'd like for you to find out where the cargo they pulled off the ship is being stored and keep an eye on it for awhile. We need to make sure the 'special' items aren't being stolen. Mist take it! I was wondering why we had such little trouble."

Inside the broom closet: "What do you say, monsieur? I make no monkey noises, mon dieu! 'Ow dare you suggest such a theeng?"

"No, madamoiselle, I--"

The incensed maid slapped Ricardo, rocking him backwards, and he tumbled backwards out of the closet in a clatter of brooms and mops, right at Lash, Vuukran and Scritch's feet. He sputtered and scrambled in the mess as the maid quickly re-dressed and stormed off.

Getting to his feet, Ricardo readjusted his cuffs, relaced his trousers and smiled brightly.  "Gentlemen. I know you'll find this hard to believe, but I believe something may be wrong with our new host, Gaspar di Vicenta."

"Nevermind on that first, Skritch. We appear to have found Ricardo already," Lash deadpanned.  "Yes, Ricardo, there is most definately something wrong. Do you think you could manage to find Francesca and make sure she's safe without accidently falling into bed with her? This is very important.  I'm going to try and round us the good doctor and Master Gustav and see how Mistworthy the airship is."

"Done!", the handsome young rake said with a smile, then headed off.

Back in the bedroom, Shautha's confusion was giving her a headache "A moment, please, dear Gaspar. Here," she shoved a pitcher of water at him, "take a moment to compose yourself."

She then pulled Nix out into the antechamber and whispered, "What in the Mist is going on here?!? What are you doing here?!? I wasn't going to deflower him or anything! Not yet, anyway," she finished under her breath. 

"That's not the real Gaspar," Nix answered in a hushed, but dead serious, tone. "Now, lets get back to him and keep him occupied until the others show up. Follow my lead... my mother was a whore." 

Shautha's brow wrinkled in even deeper confusion. "What do you mean it's not the real Gaspar? Where is he? Who is this man?" She paused. "And what do you mean your mother was a whore?" 

"We believe that is an imposter. The others are looking elsewhere for information." Nix glanced inside the bedroom, rolled her shoulders, and then added, "she was a prostitute... and I learned some things. Now come on." 

Shautha followed Nix back into the room, somewhat subdued. 

"We're sorry Gaspar. Like I said, we're all still getting to know each other." Nix smiled at him a bit shyly.  She sat on one side of the bed and motioned Shautha to sit on the other side, with Gaspar between them. "Now then," she reached out and touched a curl of his hair, "speaking of getting to know people...." 

Nix preceeded to make idle chatter, talking about Mnar, the weather, travels and she included Shautha in the conversation. She occationally wet her lips and flutterred her lashes a bit at Gaspar... and sometimes at Shautha. She moved her fingertips and eyes over Gaspar's hair, his chin, his clothes... teasing. 

At the same time, she was praying like crazy that the others show up really, really soon. 

"Take it slow. Right," Vuukran said.  "The girls will be fine for a while without us. Commander Bananas and I will go with Scritch to check on the cargo. He's a smart guy, but he may need a smooth talker to help him if people start asking questions."

Lash looked long and hard at Vuukran, but couldn't think of anyone better to send. "Ok. But remember that not everyone understands the Monkey, nor do they suspect he's got... smarts... so do your best not to tip them off, ok?"  When Vuukran left, he put his hand in his face, muttering, then headed back towards Gaspar's bedroom to eavesdrop.

By the time he got there, he could hear Gaspar jumping up on the bed and stripteasing while singing "Oh, you touch my tra-la-la," at the top of his lungs. He's also been captivated the sight of Shautha's bosom and keeps trying to motorboat her. 

Shautha started to get into the teasing, taking Nix's cues as well as she could.

"Ooooh, my ding-ding-dong!" Gaspar added.

Back at the airship "dock" Vuukran and Commander Bananas saw that all the cargo had been unloaded, and the crates had mostly been opened up. Some of the lace has been scattered around on the floor, but mostly it's been used as packing material for green glass cannisters. He also saw two big, hairy silverback gorillas wearing really big, nasty swords on baldrics around their shoulders loading these glass cannisters into a wagon. Another gorilla carrying a musket that looks nearly big enough to be called a cannon and with crossed bandoliers over his chest was supervising. He also found that you could understand their conversation, although it wasn't particularly interesting; just stuff like "Be careful with that!" "Ouch, my toe!" and "Why doesn't Bolgani have to carry anything?" It was in the same screeching and hooting language Commander Bananas spoke, although the gorillas spoke it in a much lower register, and they seemed to use it more robustly and to express more complex ideas than the smaller monkey could. 

Meanwhile, Ricardo had found Celeste, and tried to conviner her to show him where Francesca was stached.  She didn't want to have anything to do with him though... until she came running back saying that "Zere eez a body on ze floor!" with her face pale, then she burst into tears. The body turned out to be the guard that was taking Francesca to her room, and his head was split open like a watermelon that just encountered a Ginzu. Francesca was not in her room, although her bathwater wasstill warm. There seemed to be signs of a brief struggle.

Lash peeked through the door and see "Gaspar" motorboating Shautha and sporting a very erect tra-la-la. Nix looked like she was about stab someone any second now, at least when "Gaspar's" eyes weren't on her. The hobgoblin took a deep breath, pulled one of his pistols, and slammed open the door. "Begging your pardon, but your hospitality is no longer required. Please stand away from the ladies." 

"What is the meaning of this? How dare you?" Gaspar shouted.

With Celeste, Ricardo drew his sword.  No, the other one.  "Celeste, my dear, I need you to stay calm for me. You're safe with me, don't worry."  Ricardo gave the girl a reassuring kiss.  "Can you show me the way back to the dock?" 

Celeste wiped her tears and clung to him desperately, but she nodded and lead him to the airship dock. There they can see Vuukran hiding, crouched behind a crate and the three gorillas and everything. No sign of Francesca here. 

Ricardo whispered to Celeste "Is there another exit from the estate? Somewhere somebody might have taken Madamoiselle di Vicenta?"  She nodded and pointed  Then, sweetheart, go to your room and lock your door, okay? I need to know you're safe or else I'll worry."

Ricardo pelted through the estate to the gate nearest where Francesca was abducted. 

"How dare I?" Lash laughed, without humor.  "Let's see... You've already paid me, and we found the real Gaspar two weeks dead in a cupboard, so my attention to niceties has slipped. My suggestion for you, at this point, would be to either offer me the right amount of money to let you live, or begin talking about what's going on here. Either way, I'm not a patient person, so do it quickly. You've got about 5 seconds.  5... 4...."

"Ah, you found him did you? Well, I admit it. I'm not really Gaspar. But let me ask you this: how do you know that's not a good thing? Gaspar wasn't such a nice man. Smuggling really nasty items to the gnolls to help them prosecute their genocidal wars, he was. Plus," and here he pauses to stroke Shautha's cheek fondly, "I can tell you from sad first-hand experience that the real Gaspar was a terrible lover. You would not have enjoyed his company at all." 

Shautha seemed torn between leaning into Gaspar's caress and raging at him. 

"Not money or an explanation," Lash remarked.  "3... 2..."

Back at the docks, Vuukran whispered to his monkey.  "This looks bad, Commander Bananas. Do you think there's any chance you could sway them to our side? Your powers of persuasion are impressive, indeed. No, no, you're right, they do look pretty bound and determined already. We should find the others and let them know about this. Even as strong as you are, I don't think you could fight all three of them at once, you'll need some backup. Oh, and we should get you a sword at some point, too!"

Vuukran quietly padded his way back to "Gaspar's" dressing room, completely missing Ricardo in the meantime. 

The fake Gaspar leaned against the bedpost as if thinking about what to say to Lash exactly. Then his hand moved very suddenly and pulled a lever, dropping the curtains in the room. Behind four of them stood huge gorillas, growling menacingly and waving massive axes. "Gaspar" shouted "A-ha!" and made a dive for the corridor behind one of the gorillas in an attempt to escape while shouting, "Mangani! You and the boys take care of these intruders!"


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## Desdichado (Oct 9, 2009)

Lash fired his pistol at Gaspar, and ran from the room.   Lash's shot crashed loudly in the room, but the sudden reversal of the situation affected his aim, apparently.  

Shautha screamed in frustration and chased after Gaspar.  He stumbled slightly, and she tackled him and like a linebacker, throwing him to the ground before he could make good his escape. He cracked his head on the marble floor and started bleeding from a cut over his eye. Lash bravely turned and ran away, leaving the half-orc to her fate. The four gorillas out-bellowed Shautha and leapt forward, waving their axes menacingly. 

"Gaspar" shouted at the gorillas, "Get her off me! Whoa! Be careful with those axes!" as they started laying into Shautha to free their boss. All four of them chopped at Shautha like she's humanoid firewood. OOC: _Shautha was still awake after this punishing barage with a whopping 1 hit point._

Vuukran and Ricardo could hear the bellowing of the gorillas (and Shautha) as well as "Gaspar's" yelling, from where they were. The gorillas at the dock put down their loads and heft their weapons, looking that direction, but they didn't move yet, trusting in their compatriots to take care of any trouble.

Scritch fired  at the nearest gorilla and started backing away, hoping that he will give Shautha a chance to break free.  Shautha was a "bitter end" kind of fighter, though.  Rather than make the attempt, she slammed her fists into Gaspar first.

Lash kept running until he crossed paths with Vuukran in the hallway.  "Monkey Ambush. They got Shautha and likely Nix. Skritch may be coming, maybe not." Lash surveyed the passage/room he was in and ascertained a good chokepoint. "The two of us can maybe hold there for a bit, let the stragglers catch up, but I'd say we're hip deep in Mist right now, and the boat's sinking. Where's Ricardo?" 

Vuukran shrugged. "I don't know; it wasn't my turn to watch him. Have you looked between the legs of the nearest serving wench? Hold this passage all you want, I'm going to go and deliver some Monkey Justice."  With that, he manifested a sword and continued down the hall towards "Gaspar's" room. 

"Whatever happened to your tales of the Red Legion, holding firm in teamwork to defeat thier foes? Did they rush off into an ambush singly to be defeated one-by-one, or would they find a defensible spot and regroup?" Lash countered. 

Vuukran snapped back his retort in a scathing tone. "They're all dead now; feel free to ask the bones strewn across the battlefield some time. Besides, it's not an ambush anymore, since we know about it now! Either follow me or give your sword to Commander Bananas so it can see some use for a change!" 

Lash sneered.  "They outnumber you and have the advantage of position. If you wish to be a fool, then don't let me slow you." 

Meanwhile, halfway to the next gate, Ricardo tried to stop when he heard the roaring and gunshot and that peculiar bellow he's come to recognize as Shautha's frustration, but his boots didn't get a lot of purchase on the polished marble floor. He drifted sideways across the hallway to plow into a potted plant, sending soil, leaves and shattered pottery all over the place.  "Damnit. Where have all the servants gone?"

He sighed and set out in the direction of where his friends undoubtedly were getting themselves into yet more trouble, hoping to find another servant or two who might know more about what happened to Francesca. 

Back in Gaspar's room, Nix leapt on the back on a gorilla and scratched at his neck with her dagger.  Lash stood outside in the hallway fuming, and Shautha elbowed "Gaspar" in the face viciously. He bled some more. "I think you broke my nose!" 

Shautha turned to flee--strategically, of course--and found herself slumping onto the ground instead. _Guess I should have gone into combat rage._ She sucks in one last deep breath, ample bosom heaving, before blacking out.  _Failed a Tumble check, got whacked with an attack of opportunity.  That criticalled.  Luckily for her, I rolled minimum damage and left her at -9 hit points._

Gorilla 1 (with Nix on his back) squirmed to attack her, dropping his axe and just slamming her with his hairy paws. He grabbed her with both hands and twisted and rended her soft flesh. The other three charged out into the hall with their weapons after Scritch and Lash. "Gaspar" struggled painfully to his feet and shuffled off down the hallway, holding his hand to his bleeding nose. Then he turned back, hesitantly, looking at the ladies, undecided about what to do, still remembering Shautha's ample cleavage.

Scritch slipped under an ornate dressing table and then out between the two nearest gorillas, hoping his antics would cause them to miss.  As he came to his feet, he immediately began applying pressure to various points on Sautha's body, hoping to stop the half-orc from entering the Hells of Angry Monkeys. After doing so, he faded from view and breathed very, very quietly.

"Hold on tight, Commander Bananas!"  Vuukran left caution to the wind and brokeinto a full run, not stopping when he saw the three gorillas enter the hallway, but instead ducking under the first one's wild overhand swing, vaulting over the second gorilla and rolling past the third into Gaspar's room. Upon seeing the grisly scenario played out before him, he bellowed in Monkey in a deep, booming voice, "TAKE YOUR STINKING PAWS OFF HER, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!!!" before plunging his mind blade deep into his foe.  "No offense, Commander Bananas."

"Mad. They're all mad," Lash muttered to himself, before unhooking the whip at his side with one hand and pulling his other pistol out with the other.  "Ricardo?! Where are you?!" Lash bellowed as he drew a bead on an ape and fired.

_Well, if Lash is bellowing, things can't be THAT bad_. Ricardo shook his head and picked up the pace, hurrying through the strangely empty corridors.  "Every caper gets complicated." 

The gorilla Vuukran attacked sighed and flopped over, bleeding all over the floor. Nix bled some too. Shautha's breath rattled shallowly in her throat. "Gaspar" cried out and came running back, holding her hand. "Ah, _cheri_. I have never met another woman like you before. Forever more will I regret that this evening could not finish." He solemnly took off his ring, with a gigantic sapphire on it, and placed it gently between her breasts. Then Scritch appearred out of thin air right next to him. "_Mon Dieu_! What in bloody blazes are you..." He smiled as Scritch staunched the flow of Shautha's blood. It looked like she might pull through. "I am in your debt, little ratman. Take care of her for me!" Gaspar ran off down the passageway, but shouted back. "You have not seen the last of me, _mon cheri_! Someday, I will find you again, and we will continue where we left off!"

Two of the gorillas in the hallway burst howling back into the room to engage Vuukran. The first swiung his ax wildly, and with a crash the bedpost collapsesd under the blow.  The other slammed his blade into Vuukran with gorilla-force. The third remained in the hallway, swinging his axe at Lash, but the snapping whip seemed to cow him and his swings were ineffectual.

Ricardo continued running down the hall and... in the corner found another poor young woman in a maid's outfit.  A sudden hope flared in her eyes. "Mon dieu, monsieur! What eez 'appening?" 






Ricardo screeched to a halt.  "Mademoiselle. I am Ricardo Murciélago."

He pulled her to her feet and kissed her hand but she didn't seem quite as impressed with him as Celeste was, so he kept things cool.  "Don't be afraid; my friends and I will protect you. Tell me, have you seen the Mademoiselle Francesca in the last fifteen minutes or so?  Young lady, probably not wearing very much, possibly getting carried by gorillas. Have you seen her?"

Ricardo restrained his frustration with the terrified young woman, mainly by admiring how her uniform showed off her well-proportioned curves... 

Lash snarled at the closest gorilla, and dropped his pistol and drew his cutlass into his off hand. In a low crouch, he began to slowly give ground, backing away from the simian. With a lazy gesture, the whip cracked out, the tip blurring into invisibility, and a fresh gash opened on his opponent from it's cruel kiss.

"If it were up to me, we'd just get back on our ship and pretend this never happened, but Commander Bananas says that it's curtains for you and the rest of your crew!" Vuukran grabbed one of the curtains that formerly disguised "Gaspar's" gorillas, swung it around like a bullfighter, then tossed it over the face of one gorilla, while stabbing the other through the shoulder. It bellowed and jerked back, knocking a torch from a sconce. Due to a series of extremely bad dice rolls by the gorillas, I decided that something worse than merely missing awkwardly was in order; the fallen torch caught the heavy curtains on fire throughout the room.

Nix groaned and rolled over slightly, still unconscious and now getting warmer as the flame from the curatins spread to the bed. Lash, fighting cautiously, slashed his whip out in the hallway outside. The last gorilla in the hallway smiled slyly, and backed up into the room, throwing a bag of... something... towards Vuukran.  It exploded in liquid flame, coating the walls and ceiling. The room became a raging inferno. Scritch, turning suddenly invisible, attacked the same gorilla that Vuukran stabbed, who bellowed again in pain, his red-rimmed eyes focusing on the little rat-faced fellow with pure hatred.

Meanwhile, Sophie nodded excitedly to Ricardo. "_Oui, monsieur,_ ze young girl with ze suds all ovair her bodee? Zat ze gorillas were carrying away? Zey took hair to ze east gate. Zere was a wagon."

"The east gate? Thank you, my dear."  Ricardo kissed her hand and ran in the direction of the shouts and explosions.

"Why? Why always trouble finds us?" Scritch hissed as his eyes dart every-which-way, now watering from the smoke. 

Lash's eyes narrowed as his opponent suddenly disengaged to rush back into the room. Glancing through the door, he took in the situation... and made a quick evaluation of the burning ceiling.  His whip snaked out to wrap about one of the blazing beams running along the roof, and Lash swung through the fray, keeping his feet clear of the flaming puddles of alchemical goo. The beam creaked alarmingly, and Lash landed beside the unconscious Nix.

"First time we have some damsels in genuine distress," he snarled to Vuukran, "and bloody Ricardo isn't here to help!"  He grabbed hold of the whip handle with both hands, and yanked, putting his shoulders and back into the effort, to pull the burning beam loose from the ceiling, leaving it and the bedroom's impressive chandelier free to drop on the apes below.  Lash leaned over Nix to protect her from any falling debris. The main beam collapsed, bringing down with it a section of the ceiling. The injured and the uninjured gorilla are both caught in the falling debris. Bright flashes and poofs exploded around them as the bags of alchemical fire they were each holding on their bandoleers were caught in the flame and ignited. The two gorillas howled in pain and rage, flopping about for a few seconds before weakly falling to the ground, alight with flames.

The last of the gorillas pulled the curtain from his head, and promptly got stabbed by Scritch. He growled in anger, assessing the situation. Then he turned and ran.  With the gorillas dead or fleeing, Vuukran (gingerly) tossed Shautha over his shoulder and exited the burning room as quickly as he could.

Ricardo came rushing up the hall, hearing his friends yelling and gorillas shrieking and flames erupting and beams collapsing. Now he was worried.

He rounded the corner just as a massive gorilla soldier staggered from the bedroom, followed by a horrendous eruption of fire from the doorway. The room beyond was obviously impassable, engulfed in flames and destruction.

Ricardo and the gorilla eyed each other for a second, and then the wounded creature took off the other way down the hall. Ricardo stared into the flaming ruin of the bedroom, seeing a few vague humanoid shapes and blazing furniture, but little else.

"Shautha... Nix... the others..."

His friends were dead. Ricardo's eyes took on a murderous gleam not seen often by anyone who knew him.  "Beasts and men shall die for this."

At a dead run, Ricardo headed for the gate Sophie had mentioned, pistol in hand. 

Lash, Scritch and Vuukran came out of the room, with Nix and Shautha over their shoulders.  "Was that Ricardo's voice I just heard?"


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