# What can I do to Improve my writing?



## megamania (May 24, 2005)

What am I doing wrong?

Many Storyhours here have a constant flow of "good job" or "tell us more".  I don't.

I thought my storyhours had originality and character but maybe I am misleading myself.

So-  what can i do improve my storyhours?

I have cut myself down to two so that I may concentrate on them.  One is held up due to little play time and the other since I am including artwork.

Comment on either of those or even my Darksun and Strikeforce SH.


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## Ankh-Morpork Guard (May 24, 2005)

Well, up until more recently, I went pages without comments. I suggest giving people time. They'll comment when they like...heck, I asked for a favorite update for me to put up in the sampler thread and only got one response. Bah! I know there's more readers than that because I'm nailing about 50 to 60 page views per update!

Maybe make a comment at the end of an update that you'd like some feedback(if you haven't already) or something to that extent to kickstart people talking. No promises it'll work. Only the 'big name' SHs get lots of comments...


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## Wulf Ratbane (May 24, 2005)

I'll address the question asked ("What can I do to improve my writing?") rather than the one implied ("What can I do to get more reader comments?")

Two simple things to improve your writing:

1) Read more.

2) Read Stephen King's _On Writing_. It's short, entertaining, and has some good, general advice.


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## megamania (May 24, 2005)

I have been doing Storyhours here for about two years with little comment.

I do ask for feedback but rarely see any.

As for views-  you got me beat.  I vary between 20 and 30 generally.

Though I know some of this involves feedback, I do honestly wonder if I need to improve my writing somehow.  A friend of mine noticed I jump from 1st, 2nd and 3rd person at random which I had never noticed before.  I never really thought of it as an issue but I guess he's right.  I'm just wondering what else there is I'm doing wrong.


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## Mouseferatu (May 24, 2005)

While there's lots of good advice--read more, read certain "How To" books, etc.--there are three primary steps to improving your writing.

1) Write a lot.

2) Get people to read what you've written, and give feedback. These have to be people who are willing and able to give _honest_ feedback. Anyone who's going to tell you what you want to hear, or to go easy on you, is useless in this regard.

3) Learn to take their advice and criticism, without offense. That doesn't mean every complaint you get is valid, or every piece of advice a good one. But at least consider all of it, even though you'll choose to take some and leave some.

And BTW, I have to put a disclaimer on Wulf's suggestion of _On Writing_. (Sorry Wulf. ) While it does have a lot of good advice (and is a good read), you cannot and should not take all of it at 100% face value. King makes a lot of assertions about the "proper" way to write that simply do not hold true for all people. People have different writing styles. For instance, King suggests working without an outline. That's fine for some people. In my case, and the case of many other people, an outline is essential.

Read _On Writing_. But take it as the advice of one man who, though good at his craft and with plenty of good ideas, _is_ just one man, and not as word from on high.


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## Shemeska (May 24, 2005)

megamania said:
			
		

> What am I doing wrong?
> 
> Many Storyhours here have a constant flow of "good job" or "tell us more".  I don't.
> 
> ...




Few comments doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong. I honestly suspect that around 10% of a SH's readership might post within a given time period, sometimes less depending on what's going on.

Storyhours also tend to need one or two people who really get into your stuff and then with a little namedropping by them you get more readers. For some of us this was easier than others. My own storyhours since they were set within an established campaign setting had an inbuilt rabid fanbase, and I've had a growing number of readers since I started, in no small part due to preexisting interest in the stuff. And if need be, pimp your SH on relevant forums (like your Darksun one) and link to it in the course of discussions where it might even marginally apply.

As for getting better at writing, I might be bad help here since I have no formal writing training and I never got above a B in any of my college english or lit classes. However when I write, and I write alot, I do it entirely for fun. But here's my own suggestions: read backwards by paragraph to see if the story flow works, which I do half the time since I never write anything from start to finish in a linear fashion. I skip around from idea to idea, portion of a story to the next portion and tie them back together later, but I write what comes to mind at any given moment and what is most perking my interest when I'm writing a given story. It works for me at least, but than again I also drink about 10 shots of espresso a day.


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## Herremann the Wise (May 24, 2005)

megamania said:
			
		

> What am I doing wrong?
> 
> Many Storyhours here have a constant flow of "good job" or "tell us more".  I don't.
> 
> ...




I saw this thread and could not help but feel your frustration. Anyway, I thought I'd go over to your latest story hour - Eberron: The Pathfinders - and read it so I could at least give considered feedback. 

1. I'm most likely not in a great position to be giving advice so take any of this with a grain of salt. (In other words, read more into the fantastic advice by Mouseferatu and others than myself.)

2. Reading through your SH, there where several words that looked to be incorrectly chosen from the spellchecker (will instead of with, choice rather than choose). If you want to be regarded as a serious writer, that generally means no spelling mistakes and no obvious grammatical errors. Be really strict on this. Print out a draft of what you wish to post, get the red pen out and get to work.

3. Whether something is "interesting" or not can be very subjective. Interesting stuff generally involves some form of conflict. I didn't sense much conflict going on in your SH. Fighting yes but conflict no. I didn't feel like the party were being truly troubled in any way. As such, things can be a little ho-hum. 
Please don't take this personally. However, you have asked for feedback so go up to Mouseferatu's point 3. You want honest _opinion_ so here it is.

4. I did not feel much of a connection to the characters. You only have two short updates as well as the jpeg stuff so you have not had much time to project their personalities and why I should react to them (like or dislike). Remember, there is nothing worse than indifference to a character. The character might as well not be there.

5. Grammar and Editting. I admire people who have perfect grammar when it comes to tense. I know in my writing, I swap and change for different effects but I know that if someone went through it with a fine tooth comb, I suspect they would carve it up. All I can suggest here is to print out your draft and read it several times. Change words, cross out phrases that don't feel right, add more description, take out redundant words,...
Edit, edit, edit. I'm just an amateur but I will normally sit on an update for two weeks before I "release" it. Sometimes, I'll come up with a better idea or a better way to present something and junk half the update. I'll tease words in and other times ruthlessly extract words out. I normally read an update more times than I care to admit before I release it. This may be a little bit "anal" but it's the only way I can truly be happy with presenting something that I have written.

6. Writing for yourself is important. Be happy with what you write. If you can't go back and read something you have written and enjoy it, question what you have written. Look for improvements. If you can please yourself, you are going to be less concerned about a lack of reads and you are going to be prouder of your work.

7. Reads, responses and updates. I have fallen into this trap of wondering how many readers I actually have so I'm a poor one for advice. Perhaps Shemeska's advice to pimp away is the best here and if you have a good product, readers will start to want to read what you have to write.

Case in point: have a read of my SH and tell me what you think - _The Happenings of Lucifus Cray_ is a pretty fun story and a great character to write about. I've pimped this SH pretty hard and it has a reasonable readership as far as I can tell. There are certainly a few readers who appear to be enthusiastic. I do my best to answer their queries and questions and whet their appetite for more. However, I only write to the thread when I have an update - I don't do banter to keep it on page one of the forum. This is most likely strange but personally, I find it annoying when somebody writes to their thread without an update. I want to read story, not "filler".

8. Emphasiing what the others have said - read a lot. Write a lot and try to do different things with your writing. Imagine a scene and then really describe it noting how word choice can change the picture that you present. I would recommend several fantasy authors to you: Jack Vance (Lyonesse being a favourite amongst most of his stuff), George R.R. Martin, David Gemmel and for me, Raymond E. Feist (Magician to Darkness at Sethanon) is fun. I'm sure others would recommend different authors but in terms of fantasy, these are the guys whose books I will buy as soon as they come out without thinking.
A special note should go to the classics though. Charles Dickens is a favourite of mine - most of his stuff.

9. Lastly, don't take things too seriously. As soon as writing stops being fun, reading it stops becoming fun too. Don't be afraid to take a week or two off to freshen things up. Write when you have something to say, not when you feel like you have to.

***​
Anyway, I hope this helps somewhat. I'll stay tuned to any responses and I'll start reading some of your other SH's too. I'd like to help out and maybe the best way I can do this is by reading more of your stuff. I'll post back later. Best of luck. 

Best Regards
Herremann the Wise


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## Wulf Ratbane (May 24, 2005)

Mouseferatu said:
			
		

> For instance, King suggests working without an outline.




... As is evident from his writing... 

I suggest King because (a) he is very good at writing things that people _want to read_ and (b) he's close to our genre.


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## Mouseferatu (May 24, 2005)

Wulf Ratbane said:
			
		

> ... As is evident from his writing...
> 
> I suggest King because (a) he is very good at writing things that people _want to read_ and (b) he's close to our genre.




Oh, I agree. (Though actually, not _everyone_ wants to read his stuff. I tend to find his longer works rambling and directionless, and thus vaguely boring. Comes from the outline thing again, I'd guess. )

My point, as I said, wasn't to warn anyone off the book. Just a reminder that not everything he says in there is applicable to all writers, all the time.


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## el-remmen (May 24, 2005)

Aren't your story hours the ones that are just fiction and not based on an actual game?  (I may be getting you confused with someone else).  I have never looked at them because personally I am not interested in story hours that are not based on a group of people gaming. . . if I want to read fantasy ficition I buy a book.

As for how to improve your writing. . . read a lot and read a lot of different things.

And write a lot - write a lot of different things.

Oh, and pay attention to point of view - nothing is more jarring than a haphazardly shifting point of view.


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## Enkhidu (May 24, 2005)

Go here, buy these, and read them (you can also probably find these at your local library). Each book in this Writer's Digest series is a take by published authors on a specific part of fiction writing (plot, conflict, good story structure, etc). I highly recommend them.


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## Emperor Valerian (May 24, 2005)

No matter what books on writing you read, I'd say the two most important ones are (to echo everyone above) read often, and write often.  By read often, I mean read anything you can get your hands on, not just fantasy or science fiction... or fiction for that matter.  History books, biographies, you name it... every piece of writing has something you can learn from (either something to do, or something not to do).  The more you read, the more you will pick up on what readers expect, what gets their attention, etc., and you can start incorporating it into your writing style to create something that's eye-catching and uniquely yours.

Not to mention real events give me some of my evilest ideas as a DM.


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## ragboy (May 24, 2005)

All of this is good advice. I'll add a couple of things I've found that help me: 

- Have a group of reviewers give you detailed feedback, not just one. When you have five people telling you that certain scenes, characters, or situations are not working, it means a lot more than a handful of random problems from a single person. 

- When you proofread, read your work out loud to yourself. This seems silly, but you'll catch a lot of awkward language this way, and tense/POV shifts will be much more apparent. This also helps me when I get feedback like: "All your characters sound like the same person." 

- If you're just writing for ENWorld story hours, I wouldn't put a lot of time into reading books on the craft (though _On Writing_ is an entertaining read whether you're a writer/aspiring writer or not). 

- If you're looking to move into professional writing, here are the things that helped me (as well as most of what's been suggested previously): 

Take a writing workshop class/group - This type of class or group is not a 'how to write class' but a roundtable where aspiring and professional writers review each other's work. You get more honest feedback from people you're not emotionally tied to (usually).
Finish every story you start - The more painful this process is the better. If you've written yourself into a corner, keep plugging away until you can call the story done. The painful experience will pay off.
Try different methods - There are a thousand 'story crafting' methods out there. Try several of them. Try more than one on the same story. Make up your own. Experiment. Try writing at different hours, in different places, and under different conditions. I wrote one story long-hand, and it helped me develop a better editing style, and now I won't use a computer on my first draft. (when I write only on the computer, it's much more difficult for me to effectively edit).
Send it in - When you've written, edited, incorporated feedback, and written again, send it to a publisher. *Ralan.com* is a great source for F/SF/H/Humor publishers. There are others. You need those rejection notices to make you better. And if you keep it up, you will be published.
(Edit - Forgot one!) Advice that I got from _On Writing_ that has paid off: Don't just read the 'good' stuff. Read bad writing at least as much as you read flawless writing. Bad writing teaches you by example what you're not supposed to do...


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## Angcuru (May 24, 2005)

As everyone else has already said:  read a lot, and write a lot.  Then go back and read your own writing.  Ask yourself if what you wrote entertains and evokes emotions in you.  Pinpoint what doesn't and get rid of that stuff.  People read to be entertained, not to keep getting info that while important to the writer, may be junk to a reader.  Know that sometimes, less is more.  Use a generous amount of detail, but don't go on describing something that the reader just doesn't care about.

Practice, practice, practice.

Give your readers enough information to know what's going on, but don't start rambling on about something that while interesting, does not advance or contribute to the story.  Also, don't just say "x happens. y says yadda yadda. z happens".  Don't tell, _show_.

With my first story hour I was more or less taking an idea and putting it into words, got a little feedback, but almost exclusively from people whom I had personally directed to read it.  
I spotted weaknesses in my writind, and from that my style evolved.  I recently started a new SH based on a PbP game, with an introduction and occasional flashbacks that are all my original stuff.  Use your players to see what an entertaining story is, and try to mimic that to an extent.  For original non-gaming session based fiction, you have to work a lot harder.

If you can produce something that people enjoy and actually WANT to read, that's when you get feedback.  You have to have a good mix of humor, action, character development, and suchlike.  At times you can have extremes in a specific area, but most of the time you should have more or less equal amounts.

Cliffhangers help, too.


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## Herremann the Wise (May 24, 2005)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> ...Don't tell, _show_...



Golden advice in almost any endeavour, whether it be in writing, management, sport or whatever.


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## Mouseferatu (May 25, 2005)

Herremann the Wise said:
			
		

> Golden advice in almost any endeavour, whether it be in writing, management, sport or whatever.




Golden advice, and advice that is often extremely hard to follow, even for those of us who have been doing this for a while. I've been writing fiction since long before I began writing professionally, I've got a degree in Creative Writing, I've got a published novel, and I _still_ find that I have to be very careful not to fall into this trap.

There's no magic solution for avoiding it, I'm afraid, except--once again--constant practice and feedback.


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## arwink (May 25, 2005)

Mouseferatu said:
			
		

> There's no magic solution for avoiding it, I'm afraid, except--once again--constant practice and feedback.




And learning to edit your own work effectively.  Learning to set work aside, and how to identify and correct the thematic problems rather than the grammatical problems, is an invaluable skill.

It takes time to learn that though, just as it does to develop the other skills Mouseferatu is talking about.


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## Angcuru (May 25, 2005)

Mouseferatu said:
			
		

> Golden advice, and advice that is often extremely hard to follow, even for those of us who have been doing this for a while. I've been writing fiction since long before I began writing professionally, I've got a degree in Creative Writing, I've got a published novel, and I _still_ find that I have to be very careful not to fall into this trap.
> 
> There's no magic solution for avoiding it, I'm afraid, except--once again--constant practice and feedback.



Ain't that the truth.  I've been writing for about eight years, but only in the past few years have I become confident enough in my writings to show them to others.  

It is also helpful to be a perfectionist.  Be very critical of yourself, and you'll be more likely to spot weak spots in what you write.

I find that my favored writing style is to know where I want the story to end up, and know a few key events I want to have, and then ad-lib the whole thing from there.  For me, this gives the story less predictability.  If you have an outline you're following, you'll steer yourself towards the next 'goal', and this will often be obvious to the readers.  They don't want to know that happens next, the only want to have an idea of what might be coming.  Plus this style lets me write myself into situations that I might have otherwise not thought up.


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## Mouseferatu (May 25, 2005)

Angcuru said:
			
		

> I find that my favored writing style is to know where I want the story to end up, and know a few key events I want to have, and then ad-lib the whole thing from there.  For me, this gives the story less predictability.  If you have an outline you're following, you'll steer yourself towards the next 'goal', and this will often be obvious to the readers.  They don't want to know that happens next, the only want to have an idea of what might be coming.  Plus this style lets me write myself into situations that I might have otherwise not thought up.




I know a lot of people who write like that, and it works for them. Me, if I don't have an outline, I tend to wander about blindly and lose track of what I want to accomplish. I don't think it makes my writing more predictable, though I can see how it could. The trick, for me, is to write the outline specific enough for me to keep track of what I'm doing, but vague enough that I have freedom to maneuver, and to change things if new ideas come to me. In fact, I've had a few instances where I diverged greatly from the outline--but even there, having it helped me get to that point, and work the new ideas into the story as a whole.

Ultimately, I think most of us would agree that there's no one style or technique that's going to work for everyone. (And how dull would it be if there were? ) Anyone who wants to start writing has to just start, to play around with it, and to try new techniques until they find one that works for them.

Or, to put it another way...

You can write part-time, but _learning_ to write is a full-time job.


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## ragboy (May 25, 2005)

Mouseferatu said:
			
		

> Ultimately, I think most of us would agree that there's no one style or technique that's going to work for everyone. (And how dull would it be if there were? ) Anyone who wants to start writing has to just start, to play around with it, and to try new techniques until they find one that works for them.




I've also found that I write with different styles and techniques depending on the story I'm writing. Sometimes I need an outline, sometimes I ad lib with nothing in mind (character, story, or ending), sometimes its a scene that becomes a story.... it's always different. 

And since mega was mentioning Eberron, and Eberron is pulp-based, I can't hawk Lester Dent's Pulp Master Plot enough. Reading it for entertainment value alone is worth it, but I've also found it useful: 

*Give it to him in the neck*

http://www.miskatonic.org/dent.html


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## Old Drew Id (May 26, 2005)

I do better critiquing when I can work directly from the source, so here is a snip from the opener to your second SH:



			
				megamania said:
			
		

> THE PLAYERS
> ...
> (BONDS)	       WARFORGED BARBARIAN  [ Destroy and Don’t Bother to Ask Why] DEAD
> (CEDIOUS)  HALFLING ROGUE	[ Binge Drinker and general Trouble-maker ]  ALIVE!!!!




Okay, SH's often have large casts like this, and it can be difficult to quickly introduce the characters to your audience. You definitely have a start here by introducing the characters by name, class and race, and a little blurb, but the format is a little off-putting. Anything in ALL CAPS is harder to read, especially with excess or unusual punctuation ()[]. Sometimes writing is not about passing the information across to someone as much as it is about molding your information into a pleasing shape. Maybe try something next time like:

Bonds the Warforged Barbarian: "Destroy and don't bother to ask why!"
Cedious the Halfling Rogue: "A binge-drinker and general trouble-maker"

Same info, easier presentation.



			
				megamania said:
			
		

> Today we begin this tale with the five adventuring friends returning from a party in the city of Sharn.  It has begun to rain but it will take more than this to dampen their mood.
> 
> “Curtains of water fall from the sky as [they] traverse the labyrinthine        walkways of Sharn.  The stone and wooden paths wind around and between the towers and spires high above the ground, forming a complex latticework that can be very confusing on evenings such as this.  The rain falls hard, running off higher walkways and balconies in drenching waves, making it difficult to see much more than a few feet ahead of you.  The distant glow of everbright lanterns, barely visible in the soaking gloom, does little to light the paths on this warm, wet evening.”




A lot of the writing books will tell you this, but just to reiterate, go for detail, but know when to let your audience's imagination fill in the rest for you. There is a lot of focus here on the rain, the wood and stone paths, and the glow of the lanterns. In my opinion, a little too much. And in comparison, no detail about our heroes, except that they are returning from a party. Is anyone drunk? Tired? 

Also, you mentioned the POV issue earlier, so I won't harp on that except to say the best advice I have is to pick one PC at any given time, and follow them through the entire scene, even if that means that you miss out on some little details here and there that this particular PC would not have noticed. I would rather hear about the party from Bond's POV and get everything colored through his prejudices, desires, fears, etc. and miss out on the funny thing that someone said in the other room than I would hear a third-person "report" of the party with none of the character. In other words, don't tell me that Bonds is a binge-drinker, when you can show me, through his own eyes, that Bonds is a binge-drinker. (A good tip here for practice is to try writing out one scene several times, each time from the POV of a different character in that scene. Especially for arguments, love scenes, fight scenes, and initial meetings. Practice seeing the world through one person's eyes and then reviewing everything again as someone else.)

Also, this is all very visual, which is good, but for it to have more meat, give it some tactile and auditory qualities as well. Tell me how the rain smells, or how the party smells for that matter, particularly what a wet warforged barbarian smells like. Is the rain a warm spring rain that musically drips and plops its way through the city, or is it a cold and driving winter rain that sounds ike chains being dragged across a tin roof?

Also, I am guessing that you pre-wrote some chunks of this to be read-aloud in-game, and then you are combining your notes of the game with the pre-written chunks to produce the SH? While that can work, I would recommend two things. 
     1) If you do this, don't intentionally break up the pre-written chunks by putting them in a seperate color like this. It just makes it more work for the reader. A reader should sort of "fall into" your writing and drift with it and float away with it. They should not have to do any "work". Every time you change POV, tense, or color or whatever else you can change, it is like forcing the reader to make a little jump, or a little bit of work, to keep going with you. 
     2) Completely merge the two styles of writing, between the notes and the pre-written blurbs, so that there is no distinction between where one ends and another begins before you publish to Enworld. 



			
				megamania said:
			
		

> The smallest of the group,  Cedious, has lead the group onto the wrong tower.  Even as the halfling tries to convince the others that they are not lost he tries to regain his sense of location.  Bonds interrupts everyone as he looks onto the bridge he nears.
> 
> “[Bonds] spots a figure in a dark cloak moving quietly through the rain on the skybridge ahead.  It seems to be avoiding the dim pools of light cast by the everbright lanterns, preferring to stay in the shadows.  Lightning flashes, and you see a shape on the stone floor of the bridge in brief illumination.  The figure quickly reaches the railing of the skybridge, then slips over the barrier and disappears into the darkness and the rain.”Bonds calls out to his friend what he saw thinking a thief is lurking ahead and looking for purses to collect. They move quickly to the spot where the dark figure was last seen.




One tip here is about breaking sentences out into phrases. This is something that is much easier to do as you read through your stuff the second time than it is to catch during a first run. (By the way, always read thru twice before submitting. That alone can make you a better writer.) As far as breaking sentences into phrases, what I mean is that most sentences should only have one or two phrases. In spoken language it is fine to have sentences that combine 4 or 5 phrases, but in writing, limit it to 2. Specifically with this section, you say: "Bonds interrupts everyone as he looks onto the bridge he nears."

If you break this up into phrases, you have:
1) "Bonds interrupts everyone
2)  as he looks onto the bridge
3)  [that] he nears.

You are trying to cram too many phrases into just one sentence. Instead, keep it down to 2 phrases per sentence, as in: "As he neared the bridge, Bonds looked ahead. He interrupted everyone."

Finally, this relates to the fact that most people find it harder to read present-tense fiction, than past tense. I would rather read "Bond spotted a figure" than "Bond spots a figure."

Going back now, to combine all of these tips, you might have something that looks like this:

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Cedious laughed, hiccuped, and staggered frighteningly close to the skybridge railing. He hadn't had that much to drink at the party, he was sure. It must just be the dark night and the pouring rain that was making the footing unstable. That was probably it. The dinky lanterns they used in this part of town only allowed for little spots of light scattered every twenty paces or so. Hardly enough to be useful in this kind of weather, especially when he was trying to lead the whole party home.

Now if only he knew where in the hell they were, that would be something.

Still, Cedious wouldn't let a little rain and a complete lack of direction ruin his mood. Besides, this was spring rain, right? Fresh spring rain. He inhaled deeply, and nearly gagged on the reek of the oily warforged creeping up beside him. 

"Cedious, I question your navigational ability," Bonds intoned mechanically, like a cross between a statue and a nursemaid.

Cedious stiched his lip in a smirk of confidence and hurt pride, "What? I know where I'm going! Just lost my balance is all! Let's see here..."

Cedious scratched the stubble on his chin and took a look around. There were dozens of paths intertwined through here like a maze, and to be honest, even if he was sober he would have had a hard time figuring out the right way. Why couldn't humans just stick to simple huts and dirt trails like they'd used back in his village back home? Well, there was a bridge over there that looked promising...

Cedious took a confident step forward before the warforged caught him with a heavy hand on his shoulder and yanked him backwards. Before the hafling could protest, Bonds had a hand to his lips, and pointed ahead onto the bridge. 

Cedious squinted and looked ahead. The bridge looked clear to him. What was going on? No, wait! There! A figure in a dark cloak was racing across the skybridge, staying in the shadows. A lightning flash gave him a brief glimpse of the thief's shape as it slipped over the barrier and disappeared into the darkness and rain. 

Bonds calculated a quick judgment, "I suspect a thief seeking purses."

Together, Bonds and Cedious moved quickly to the spot where the dark figure was last seen.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

(Hope that helps)


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## sniffles (May 26, 2005)

Old Drew Id has some good points.  I looked at 'The Pathfinders' myself.  I found the present-tense narrative a bit off-putting.  I think most of us are accustomed to reading fiction in past tense.  I also found it difficult to figure out who was speaking in the large dialogue section at the beginning of the narrative.  Large blocks of dialogue are hard to manage without having the reader lose track of the speaker's identity.  Also, as Old Drew mentions, try to avoid long descriptive passages.  Keep the descriptions short and keep the action moving.

It's been said before, but proofread, proofread, proofread.  Good spelling and grammar always make the experience of reading more enjoyable.


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## megamania (May 28, 2005)

Thankyou for everyone's input.

I can see my attempt at making things a bit humorous is being taken wrong and I'll work on that.  The use of different color text is when I take a descriptive text from a book.  I was marking it to be different so that folks knew it wasn't my writing.  Again-  I'll stop that and stick with what I say in the game.

As far as how I do Storyhours,  Creation Schema is based on my game group.  The others are not since I either I didn't have a group at the time but had a story I had to write or a story I wanted to tell that may not work well with a gaming group.  The Pathfinders is this.  

I will try to write in past tense to unify my writing a bit and I use a spell checker but it is old and lacks a grammar check.  My skills in both are poor at best.

So again-  thankyou.


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## Mouseferatu (May 29, 2005)

megamania said:
			
		

> I will try to write in past tense to unify my writing a bit and I use a spell checker but it is old and lacks a grammar check.  My skills in both are poor at best.




Spellcheck good. Grammar check not good.

Seriously. The grammar check on MS Word is wrong half the time. It's a useful tool if you're looking for a specific type of mistake (such as passive voice). But I'd recommend against using it as a general safety net or learning tool.


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## orchid blossom (May 29, 2005)

When I use the grammar check I ignore it's suggestions about 75% of the time.  It suggests the most ridiculous wordings I've ever seen.


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## Berandor (May 29, 2005)

What I did was promise everyone who commented in my Story Hour a comment in theirs, or in another threat of their choosing.


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