# 1001 Villain Sayings/Threats



## Cyri'kazzen

Hey all,

I have been running a successful campaign for awhile now, yet I have noticed that I just cannot come up with really interesting things for the villains to say on the fly besides the usual death threats.  I figured others might have a problem with this sort of thing so I decided to post.  Those that are good at this sort of thing please feel free to share any quotes from your campaigns that would add flavor to a campaign.  

I understand that some things a main villain would say depend on what has happened in a campaign, but others might not be so specific.  Obviously I am looking for ones that are not so specific.  For example, what would a group of orcs meeting an adventuring party of dwarves say.

Thanks!


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## blackshirt5

A personal favorite from a campaign that I played in(it's to a group of captured adventurers):
"Why do you believe I'm evil?  Because you were taught that my way of thinking is evil.  Why were you taught that?-"
To which I interrupted(in song), "Because it sounds better than the truth!  It _sounds!_ better, and it _tastes!_ better, so we'll all pretend it really happened.  There were _no!_ kobold or elf paladins, just a bunch of humans wielding swords!"

The villain then ritually mutilated my body.


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## The Grey Dwarf

Cyri'kazzen said:
			
		

> *Hey all,
> For example, what would a group of orcs meeting an adventuring party of dwarves say.
> *




They would say:
- Ouch!
or
- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!


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## Savage Wombat

The villain line that I used that got the most energetic player response was quite simple:

"Hi, little girl; would you like some candy?"


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## Lord Zardoz

*Villian Quotes*

1)  "I will teach you the meaning of the words _'please, please for the love of god, *GIVE ME BACK THE TOP OF MY SKULL'*_"

2)  "You die first."

3)  "When you find yourself dazed and confused, standing before your god in whatever afterlife awaits you, perhaps you should ask him why he let me kill you."

4)  "I swear that if you bleed on my shoes, I will Kill You.  Again."

5)  "Hey, Elf!  You sure have a pretty face.  How about I hit it with an axe?"

6)  "Lets see you pray to your god when I wipe my a$$ with your face."

7)  "My excrement is more powerful then you."

8)  "Im not going to kill you quite yet.  I  like my food to scream."

9)  "Wanna see me bite the face off of this baby?"

10)  "There is a toll on this road.  You can pay it in gold, or you can pay it in blood.  Either is good for me."

END COMMUNICATION


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## Mark Chance

*More...*

11) The last sound you hear before you die is going to be me cracking your guts like a bullwhip!

12) Ever try to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?


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## Viking Bastard

The line that has never failed me:

13) "Hey handsome."


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## Mark Chance

*Even More...*

Forgot two classic stand-bys:

14) You sure gotta purdy mouth.

15) I'm gonna make you squeal like Ned Beatty.


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## Avatar of the North

16) Your pathetic, you sound like a chapter from a selfhelp book
17)NO, DESTROY, DESTROY, DESTROY, I will make a monument to non-existance

Bonus feat: obscure knowledge if you can name where those two came from


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## dave_o

*!*

Just consult some Type O Negative lyrics, example:

18 - "I've got a big axe in the trunk of my car, I put it on a grinder, got it real sharp. There's an ugly green monster in my head, won't leave me alone - until you're dead!"

19 - "Your screaming? My laughter."

20 - "I'm an equal opportunity destroyer."


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## brun

I'll kill you and you'll die until you're dead!


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## Draxus the Tainted

22. "Hello Clarice!"


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## Azure Trance

Usually ones that catch my attention are ones from movie (ie, wow, that'd sound really nice if a villian in my campaign said that ...)


Life is just a dream on the way to death. 
Pain is my power.

And a Q/A one that works only if the PC asks it:

Q: Go to hell!
A: Been there. And I must tell you, I did enjoy it.


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## Illuminae

26)  (See my sig.)


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## Azure Trance

More!


Ya know, my daddy used to say every man's got a devil. And you can't rest 'til you find him... but if it's any consolation to you, you have put a smile on my face. 
You're all dead. You just don't know it yet.
Murderer? Murderer!? Let me tell you a little something about murder. It's fun, it's easy, and you gonna learn all about it. 
_pulls out two blades_
 I'd like you to meet two buddies of mine. We never miss.


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## Mean Eyed Cat

> _Posted by Mark Chance_
> Forgot two classic stand-bys:
> 
> 14) You sure gotta purdy mouth.
> 
> 15) I'm gonna make you squeal like Ned Beatty.




Promptly followed by the dueling banjos...

_Nah-nah-nernt nernt nernt-nernt nernt-nernt neerrrr _


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## Psychotic Jim

*Re: Even More...*



			
				Mark Chance said:
			
		

> *Forgot two classic stand-bys:
> 
> 14) You sure gotta purdy mouth.
> 
> *




Dang it! Someone beat me to it!

Oh well...

For the orcs (better if they were ogres) seeing dwarves (or other small folk):

"Looks like we get to play another game of Runtball! "

The Overly-Long Monologue for the Villain who Thinks He is Doing Good but is Actually Doing Evil:

"Why do you intend to stand in my way?  You have all seen the corruption present in the world today.  I intend to change that, to purify all the lands.  I have seen the future, where Fate wipes out (or enslaves, etc.) all of man-kind.  I intend to prove that man can change his destiny.  Do not stand in my way for the sake of all of humanity.    "

For the Revenge-Crazed Vigilante:

" I shall not be denied my revenge!"

"Stay out of this!  I have no quarre with you!  This is a private affair!"

For the coward, the classic catch-phrase:

"Hey who fights and runs away lives to backstab anothery day."

For the totally incomprehisible loony:

"Hey now, brown cow..."


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## demiurge1138

Here are few I've used...
"Pain is my ally."
"You fight without honor or skill."
"I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate you!"
"I will make you bleed."
"Your flesh is mine to mold and sculpt."
"Give praise to <fill in evil deity>."
"These are the last words you will ever hear."
"I crave sustenance."
"Allow me to make myself clear."
"And so, we meet again." (Even better if the party's never seen him before.)
"Ah, the meat shields have arrived!"
And of course, a good evil laugh is key.

Demiurge out.


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## Mean Eyed Cat

These are from various movies...

"Life is pain... anyone who says differently is selling something."

"People scare easier when they're dyin'."

"I'll be thinking about that when I'm p*****g on your grave."


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## Alzrius

Some that came from (iirc) _Van Richten's Guide to Werebeasts_ (I don't remember them exactly, so forgive me if I bucher these):

"If our nature is evil, if our instincts murderous, can we truly be blamed?"

"We are not monsters. It is our nature to be predators. It is only because we hunt you humans, you self-styled kings of all that live, that you term us monsters."

and from _Van Richten's Guide to Vampires_:

"If I were to kill you, what would you lose? Twenty years of your life, maybe thirty? Thirty years! I could spend thirty years contemplating a book or a piece of artwork! If I were to die, I would lose eternity! Now do you understand why your lives mean virtually nothing...and mine means everything."

A bit long-winded (and very Anne Rice in flavor) but I still love it.

Another: "I was right then, and I am right now!" - Azalin

The official _Ravenloft_ site ( www.kargatane.com ) opens each time with a different quote from characters who are mostly villains.


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## s/LaSH

Hm, let's think.

Kai from Lexx (easily modified): "His Divine Shadow has sent me to kill you." Then he, um, kills him.

"Step aside, mortals." In fact, call everyone mortals... it puts them off balance.

"Come into my parlour..."

"I'll burn your women and eat your houses!" Bonus points if he actually can.

And the importance of a good drawn-out belly laugh cannot be overstated. With formal opera training I'm fairly good at them myself, but I think anyone can get it right with practice. (There are also the distict categories of cackles, sardonic chortles, and insane giggles, but the Evil Laugh (tm) is the king of the crop. Bonus points if you get lightning to go off at the same time.)


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## Stone Angel

> Ya know, my daddy used to say every man's got a devil. And you can't rest 'til you find him... but if it's any consolation to you, you have put a smile on my face.




Is this from The Crow. anyway that villain was awesome.

Few things villains would say.

Bar fighting villain
  -How about you ram your face into my fist for a while

Any other villain
  -The floor would be much more *pretty* decorated in your    
blood and organs
  -My sword is thirsty, come let it drink of you
  -Ready for it, cause here comes the *pain* 
  -Yes come get slaughtered because I said so!

Sometimes it is best when villains say nothing, especially when he has already defeated the party. I.E: Party is tied up, door opens, villain walks in, slices one members throat, villain leaves.


I love the 1001 threads


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## sunbeam60

Everlasting classic: "You and I are not so different."

regards
Toft


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## Arken

s/LaSH said:
			
		

> *
> "Step aside, mortals." In fact, call everyone mortals... it puts them off balance.
> 
> *




Brilliant Idea! That'll definitely freak out my players 

I'll have to think of one now just so this post has a purpose as it were 

"Ahh! (chooses hero) And how is your mother? (Use a tone that suggests there is a definite possibility she could be in a certain villain's evil torture chamber )"


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## rounser

"And I would have gotten away with it - if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
"How about we settle this the old-fashioned way."
"I'll grind your bones to make my bread!"
"Next time, Gadget.  Next time!"
"My hate of d02 know no limit."


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## Mark Chance

*More (Unnumbered!)...*

"I'm gonna hit you with so many lefts you'll beg for a right!"

My half-orc PC's guiding aphorism: "Fear of Gruumsh is the beginning of strength."

He was also fond of: "Blood is thicker than water...and twice as sweet."

A fiction favorite: "Blood and souls for Arioch!"

Inspired by Lady MacBeth: "Dark devils, give me the strength to wallow in the entrails of these, my enemies!"


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## Ulrick

"Let him contemplate this on the Tree of Woe. Crucify him."

"Your white flesh excites me so."

"I am invinicible!" (Boris from Goldeneye!)

"Smile. God loves you. And I'm God." 

"This town needs an anema!" 

"Never rub another man's rubarb."

"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, wouldja?"

"Haven't ever heard of the healing power of laughter?" 

"I'm glad yer dead. He he he!"

"Life's a bitch--now so am I!"


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## shadow

"Thou shalt regret thy coming here!  For thou shalt surely be dead.  And I shall dine upon thine innards!"

(This quote came from one of those Dragon Warrior games.)


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## Kilmore

"I am your father."

"No, I take it back.  I could never have a annoying pimple-faced brat like you."

"In fact, you kinda look like that inbred cretin your momma let stay out in the cow shed seventeen years ago."


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## Nifft

"This town needs an enema -- OF BLOOD!"

"When you meet your god, tell him I spit in his face!"

"You are but twigs in the flood -- OF BLOOD!"

"I ask a boon: keep warm for me a place in Hell!"

"Little pebbles, you cannot stop the avalance -- OF SKULLS!"

"More insects buzzing at mighty [Villain Name]?"

"Those you love most will be the first to die."

"Eat flaming death, [PC Race] scum!"

 -- Nifft


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## shadow

> 16) Your pathetic, you sound like a chapter from a selfhelp book
> 17)NO, DESTROY, DESTROY, DESTROY, I will make a monument to non-existance
> 
> Bonus feat: obscure knowledge if you can name where those two came from




Would that happen to be from Final Fantasy 3(6)?  The quotes Kefka says before the final battle.


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## takyris

[Villain casts fireball]

Villain: My, my, heroes, you look a little charred.  And now my henchmen will turn you into SWISS chard! A-hahahahahaha!

Henchman1: Um, boss, I'm not entirely clear on what that means.

Henchman2: Yeah, I mean, we're fighters. It's not like we can Polymorph them.

Villain: No, look, it was a pun.  Charred, Chard?  'Cause they were charred, and then you were gonna stab them full of holes?

Henchman1: But Swiss Chard doesn't have holes.

Henchman2: Swiss Cheese has holes, but not Swiss Chard.

Party Member: Well, I guess if you wanna assume that "Swiss", as a rule of thumb, means that it has holes in it, then it sort of makes sense.

Villain: Really, it was just supposed to be a pun.

Henchman1: Chard and cheese don't even rhyme, though.

Henchman2: Plus, we're in the land of Daynork.  There's no Switzerland in Daynork, so there's no Swiss.

Party Member: Maybe we can assume that what he really said was some kind of other country in this world where they make cheese with holes in it.

Henchman2: And they're famous for their chard, too?

Party Member: Okay, my bad.  Can we just roll initiative?

-Tacky


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## I'm A Banana

DANGIT, Shadow beat me!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it's from Kefka's infamous final battle speach. The PC's array and condemn him, and then insert the self-help line. 

Kefka's got a lot of good lines, actually:

"There's nothing quite like the sound of a thousand voices screaming in unison"

"I HATE....HATE....HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU ALL!"

"Son of a submariner!"

Etc.


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## Psychotic Jim

Here's some more I forgot:

"The streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers."

"Heeere's Johnny!"

"You are all just in time for your own funerals!"

"Say hello to my little friend." *pulls out weapon of death*


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## Sixchan

"Your mother was a Hamster, and your father smelled of Elderberries!"

[to a bard character] 
"You Spoony Bard!"

And my absolute favourite (especially if a will save is required afterward) is:
"WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?"


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## Talath

Sixchan said:
			
		

> *[to a bard character]
> "You Spoony Bard!"*




LOL! That's my favorite line from that game!


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## Viking Bastard

"You are adorable, all of you."

"I've been expecting you mister..."


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## Mathew_Freeman

I found being extra nice in tone and style really freaked out my players once.

"You see, I'm rather fond of power. I'd much rather be in charge around here. That way, I can burn this stupid temple down. I like burning things. And you see, you four are the most powerful people around at the moment. So I thought - being an evil genius and suchlike - that I'd send you all off to die. But I noted whilst _scrying_ you that you didn't die, so I assembled some friends and, well, here we are!

I believe this is the part where we have a big fight and I get away without a scratch, possibly killing one of you before I go...what fun, eh?"

Note: The Cleric9 in question did manage to kill a PC, and he did manage to escape. I was so proud of him...


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## snak

Before the final dual.

"Look at me and see your death."

After a sucessful backstab using paralytic poison.

"Understand this, as you lay there dying you are not alone.  Soon the rest of your kin will follow.  The (pc's family name) line stops here."


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## shadow

"We have waited centuries for this moment. The rivers will soon run red with the blood of those who oppose us."


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## Sir Hawkeye

"Me? Insane? I flail my mouthparts dismissively!"

"Adventurers, this is a golem. It solves problems. Golem, these are adventurers. they are a problem"

"If I were an idiot, I suppose I would feel compelled to annoy me too."

Slash-Slash-Slash-Slash-Bite-Buffet-Buffet-Tail Slap-Dead PC
-Meltakh the Pit Fiend Fighter.


And speaking of Evil Laughter:

"MWU-HOO-Hoo-Hoo-HA-Ha-ha-ha! Hoo-HA-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Ha!"


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## rounser

After about 3 or 4 variations, I think we can safely say that the "rivers of blood/streets run red with blood/flood the world with blood" thing is a bit of a cliche...


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## Azure Trance

I agree with the red river analogy 


I am double the worst trouble you ever thought of. 
You know the risks, you don't have to be here. When it rains...you're gonna get wet. 
I don't know why I'm talking to you. I don't talk to dead men. 
You can cut me, but you can't kill me.


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## Psychotic Jim

A few more:  "Can you guys come back at a more convienient time?  I am about to destroy the world here..."

"That's Tigger- T-I-Double-G-E-R!"

"Yeah- you may claim to be talented adventurerers- but can you pat your head and rub your belly at the same time?"

"Punish me if you will, for my hands are not clean. But deny me not my revenge!"
- Jander Sunstar, a quote from the Kargatane web-page

"You should not fear death- you should fear what I have in store for you afterwards!"

*demon devours a baby* "Ah, babies... the other other white meat."

"I do not bring death into the world; I merely speed up the process."

"The good thing about killing people at the drop of a hat is that I cannot be blamed for choosing who lives and who dies- I can blame that on the hat."

"I do not play God and create life- I merely give it form."

"Pain is bliss, and you're about to become the happiest people in the world."


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## Knightfall

Sir Hawkeye said:
			
		

> *"Adventurers, this is a golem. It solves problems. Golem, these are adventurers. they are a problem"*




That's one is my favorite so far.  

"Darkness has fallen and so have I." - for the fallen paladin.

"Don't fear evil... fear me.  Evil won't torture you like I will."

"What is death to men like us?  Hmm... ask yourself that.  Death is but the beginning... I know... I've seen death, I've lived death, I've tasted it.  Come and kiss my steel.  Come experience!"

Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!

KF72


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## Knightfall

*More evil...*

"Lies work so much better than the truth.  People believe lies."

"Agony can be rapture if you want it to be."

"Sorrow is for the weak.  I will not mourn your passing child."

"Villian?  Seriously... why do the righteous insist on being heroes.  They know nothing of sacrifice or heroics.  They simply judge what they do not understand."

"Try explaining it to my sword!"

"Why has your God killed you?  For once he set you in my path, he killed you.  My sword is your God's sword now."

"I've lived my entire life in darkness.  Evil does not come into the darkness.  It fears my soul and my hand.  And now... so shall you!"


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## Negative Zero

"hey laser lips, your mama was a snowblower!"

and

"i fart in your general direction!"

~NegZ


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## s/LaSH

"Kill one man, it is a tragedy. Kill a million, it is a statistic."
Stalin, from Command and Conquer: Red Alert.

"You and I, we are not mortals. We are gods. Why do you deny this?"
Rough paraphrase of Kain, from Soul Reaver; I'm not doing him justice here, I'm afraid, he's much cooler than that.

(And for some of the most suprisingly erudite buttonbashing I've ever seen, Soul Reaver and the other 3 Legacy of Kain games can't be beat. I've got to find me some scripts for those.)


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## Black Omega

s/LaSH said:
			
		

> *"Kill one man, it is a tragedy. Kill a million, it is a statistic."
> Stalin, from Command and Conquer: Red Alert. *




Though in fairness this is a quote from Joseph Stalin simply used in the game.


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## WayneLigon

paraphrased from an early _Cerebus_ :
"It's not _easy_ being crazy _and_ evil at the same time."

"You didn't destroy their crops?"
"Why should I? I'm trying to devise a method for destroying the _universe_."
"Isn't that a bit extreme?"
"I prefer to think of it as suicide on a somewhat grander scale."


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## Avatar of the North

yep that was kefka from FF3(6).
And yes he had some of the best lines for a villian.

He was also IMO the last true villian in a Final Fantasy game, there was 0% redeemable about him.


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## D-rock

Do a wicked witch variation

"I'll get you and your little dog to."  


Substitute dog for whatever is a appropriate like friend, child, your weapons, your favorite stuffed toy, lucky copper piece.


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## Michael Morris

*Cool..*

Cool thread.  Some of those lines are cheeeeeesssy, but...  Anyway, my entries and the spells they are the flavor text to 

Hatred
_Disdain is as kindness when I think of him. I do not merely want to kill him. I want to him to suffer. I want him to know pain so great that he will pray, beg and plead to the gods for death, and when they do not answer I want him to beg – no pray to me as if I were a god to bring him the deliverance of death. Then, only then, might I suffer to allow him that much kindness. Then again, maybe I’ll just make him suffer more.” – Griselda the Shaded._

Addle
_"Having enemies doesn't bother me. Not knowing what they're up to does." - Razlin._

Tela's Will
_“Pain is to be embraced and inflicted.”_

Dirge of Dread
_"Allow me to sing the ballad of your coming defeat." - Kerith. _

Persecute
_"In every society there are those who've singled themselves out for... special attention." - Sirrom._

Drain Life
_“I care little for flesh. I crave the power within.” – Sirrom._

And then there are the _Magic: The Gathering_ cards.  Like them or hate them, you cannot deny that some of them have the coolest quotes.... Here are some of its villians..

Propaganda
_“You’ve failed Gerrard. You’ve failed the Legacy. You’ve failed yourself. I can do no more.”—Volrath, to Karn._

Diabolic Edict
_Greven il- Vec lifted Vhati off his feet. “The fall will give you time to think on your failure.”_ (Illustration shows a man falling from a flying ship.)

Blood Pet
_“You are wrong,” Volrath said. “I do not hate the living. They often prove quite useful to me.” And then he laughed._

Extinction
_“I once had an entire race killed just to listen to the rattling of their dried bones as I waded through them.”—Volrath_

Spinal Graft
_“This one has not screamed enough to show effective implantation. Kill it.”—Volrath_

Hatred
_“I will flay the skin from your flesh and the flesh from your bones and scrape your bones dry. And still you will not have suffered enough.”—Greven il- Vec, to Gerrard_

The newer sets introduce one of MtG best evil smart aleck's yet.. Braids...

Face of Fear
_"It`s only frightened five people to death. Not my best work." -Braids, dementia summoner_

Ghastly Demise
_Anyone can snap her fingers and yank a soul. I prefer to kill creatively. -Braids, dementia summoner_

Skirk Prospector
_"I like goblins. They make funny little popping sounds when they die." -Braids, dementia summoner_

Zombie Assassin
_"Zombies don`t kill. They recruit." -Braids, dementia summoner_


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## Eccles

I haven't actually used this one yet, but I'm just waiting on the right moment:


*"Do you feel lucky, monk?"*


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## blackshirt5

This is a personal favorite.  I ran this in a dream-quest(the entire party drank from the same spring, and went on the dreamquest together.) when they got to the fortress of the BBEG, he welcomed them to his home.  His home happened to be in the middle of the jungle.  Hence, his greeting went something like, "Welcome to the Jungle, we've got fun and games!"

The look on every players face as they realized that they were gonna have to fight my twisted, 3rd edition version of Axl Rosericeless.


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## reiella

"I'll say to you what I say to all of my critics...

SEIZE THEM!"


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## schporto

Villian:  "Before we start, um how tall are you?"
Hero: "uhh 6'.  Why?"
Villian:  (looking over shoulder) "Ohh drat, I'll have to move the elk head to mount you on the wall properly."

Or

Villian:  "Leave now."
Hero:  "I shall not we are here (blah blah hero freikkin hero blah"
Villian:  "I will be most displeased if you make me get out of my chair.  Its so, ..., comfortable."
(complete disregard for the hero's is fairly freaky I think)
-cpd


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## carpedavid

In response to the PCs stealing an enemy general's flagship, he sent the following:

To those that stole my airship,

I'm a bit busy at the moment, but when your emperor's head is on a pike outside your castle walls, I'm going to hunt you down, torture you, kill you, and then defile your bodies.

Ta for now,
D


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## gamecat

"What's the matter, swatting flies?"

"You know that sleeping with snakes can get you... bitten"

"This is interesting, your death certificate, with your signature on it!"

Quoting my favorite villan, myself, over a game of magic.


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## Eridanis

One of my favorite websites:

The Evil Overlord List


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## Tace

*Tace*

* "Understand this, as you lay there dying you are not alone. Soon the rest of your kin will follow. The (pc's family name) line stops here."* 

Consider this one yoinked 


One of my villians sends the characters happy little notes such as "You have such a nice familar" and "I love the new armor you've been wearing.  It brings back fond memories of when I created my first magic item.  Sadly, it was flawed."  

This causes my players some very anxious moments as they start second guessing themselves.


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## Sanackranib

*words of wisdom*



			
				Draxus the Tainted said:
			
		

> *22. "Hello Clarice!" *




the lines that send chills down your spine are best - gotta love that Hannibal

2 that I also enjoyed are

"outta my way peck"

and

"should you choose to test my resolve in this matter you will mesure your time not and days or weeks but in Melinna in a place with no doors" gotta love that coming from a Necromancer


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## Henry

"_(Name of PC)_ - Prepare for death!"

"Ask me again, when you are all my slaves!"

"Without the _(name of powerful weapon or artifact PC's hold)_, YOU HAVE NO HOPE!"

"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue - and your entrails are _both._"

"If there is no testing, there is no purity - and I BURN the impure!"

"Your cities will burn, your temples will fall, and YOU will be a memory!"

"You'll regret it the rest of your lives - _both_ seconds of it." - _from Demolition Man_

"HOLY ! I LOVE THIS GUN!" - _from Demolition Man_

A modified version of Dennis Leary's rant on freedom in Demolition Man could also work well for a villain who opposed society in general.


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## Guilt Puppy

"Shall we... dance?" (works best with a rapier, for some reason)

(Regarding some captured relation/friend/ally) "The look upon his/her face was priceless... You should see it. It's hanging on my wall."

"I'm not a religious man, I pray to no God. But if I were you, I would start."

"Don't feel so bad about dying today. The world ends tomorrow, anyhow."

"Before you begin, may I offer you a deal? If you pay the cost of a resurrection, I'll kill you twice."


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## Phasmus

"The last thing you will hear with human ears, is the sound of your spongy pink skin sloughing off to make way for lustrous black chitin." -A member of the Spineless Order

"Kill you?  Oh, I don't think so.  There are so many things worse than death." -Mr. Spline

"I am not your enemy, I am your master.  When you accept this, you will be content." -An Illithid Thralltaker

"{After your dip in the acid pit} I will take your bones, still alive and in great pain, and make them into a chair. I will call it my Screaming Chair. Every morning I will sit in it and listen to you scream." -The Zombie Ghost Demon Pirate LeChuck


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## Nifft

"The trick isn't learning to ignore their screams. The trick is not caring."

 -- Nifft


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## pogre

"Your God may forgive you, but I will not."

"Do you have any final words?"

"I will tan your skin into leather and bind my book written in your blood."

"The worms of Hades will delight on the feast of your soul."

"If I am victorious I will hunt down your family, your friends, and all who have known you. I will slay them all. You will be utterly gone and forgotten."

*and scariest of all -* 

"I'm a little bit country..."


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## pogre

One more:

A bad guy in one of my campaigns used to always leave the PCs messages that said, "The eyes are upon you!"


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## KingOfChaos

"If first you don't succeed, my apprentice, hide all evidence you tried"...

Heh, I actually used that one in a game.


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## s/LaSH

There's something the... antagonist in Watchmen says towards the end, and I won't print it here because it's a massive spoiler. Suffice to say, that line will cause jaws to drop and players to lose all hope. (Even if the villain didn't really do it.)

If you haven't read Watchmen, I'd recommend it. It's a graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (Moore wrote the comics that From Hell and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen are based on, amongst others).

Oh, and "It looks like a pretty flower." (Or was it 'pretty butterfly'?) Rorshach, from the same source, describing a Rorshach blot. In his mind he's seeing a dog with its head smashed open. That's one you can use for a nasty villain...


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## Felix

Hank Scorpio, about to fire his lazer: "What country do you like less, France or Italy?"
Homer: "Uhh... France."
Hank: "Heh heh heh, nobody ever says Italy."


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## Ace

A few of my favorites 

One I have used "You dare to interefere with me!"

and a couplemore "Let us put an end to this"

this one from Blindguardian's song "Nightfall" 

"Come lets play the song of death, I'll make it special gauranteed"


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## herald

"Always remember EVIL is just LIVE spelled backwards, and we all want ot live, don't we kiddies...."

Mock, _Rock and Rule_


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## herald

"You know the thing I don't get..."

"Shut up, Mr. Burton! You were not put on this world to "get it""

Jack Burton and Lo Pan, _Big Trouble in Little China_


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## ejja_1

*sayings/threats*

My cousins favorite line as a player is to yell at the enemy:
" When Im done with you I will crap on your stumps and bathe you in pee!"
Of course this is just before he rolls a critical fumble and either shoots himself or a team member with his bow, wich has lead to the other players giving him the title- Red Jack Reaver, Farmer bane and friend slayer.


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## Wippit Guud

"EXTERMINATE!"

"I am the angel of death. The time of the purification is at hand."

"Now I have a +5 repeating crossbow of accuracy and slaying. Ho Ho Ho."

"Heroes. The other other white meat."


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## Ferret

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to kill you before we get that 'Walking on your grave mood going' "

"I do not plan to rule the world with immortality, I plan to rule it with immorality"


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## Ashrem Bayle

*Re: Villian Quotes*



			
				Lord Zardoz said:
			
		

> *1)  "I will teach you the meaning of the words 'please, please for the love of god, GIVE ME BACK THE TOP OF MY SKULL'"
> *



*
*
BWAHAHAHA!! 



> *
> 10)  "There is a toll on this road.  You can pay it in gold, or you can pay it in blood.  Either is good for me."
> *




That one is actually pretty darn good.


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## Azure Trance

Appropriate before the big final fight; replace Beethoven with another ... um ... campaign composer 



> I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it? It's like when you put your head to the grass and you can hear the growin' and you can hear the insects. Do you like Beethoven?


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## Joker

"Don't tempt me {insert name}, or you will one day wake up with the dim realisation that you are lying in your own blood."


The next one could be used both for 'good' and 'evil':

"I am Nemesis.  May my Sword of Justice be sharp...

May the Instruments of my Righteousness be undefiled...

And may the Shield of my Faith be strong."


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## Fenes 2

*Re: sayings/threats*



			
				ejja_1 said:
			
		

> *Of course this is just before he rolls a critical fumble and either shoots himself or a team member with his bow, wich has lead to the other players giving him the title- Red Jack Reaver, Farmer bane and friend slayer. *




Is he an elf too? We got one of those in our campaign who managed to hit almost every party member at least once by accident. Thanks to the efforts of the party bard he is known and feared as "Thiefstalker", but if the adventurers are in a foul mood they refer in other, less favorable terms to him in private.


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## Lurks-no-More

From a Mecha Crusade game:

Colonel Irina Sandorf (really, really bad news; basically, just sane enough to get into Earth military, but not _nearly_ sane enough by any reasonable standard), addressing a bunch of captured Colonials (including the PCs...):

"Your aims are wrongheaded, but I can accept that; not everyone can be right. Your methods of furthering those aims are worse than wrong, however: they are stupid, ineffective and miss the point."

*Pauses and draws a big gun, waving it around just the way big guns shouldn't be waved around by unstable people in rooms where it's vacuum outside the wall.*

"Point one: you tried to kidnap my sister instead of me, in an attempt to manipulate me. Wrong! You should have tried to  kidnap _me_!"

*Shoots one of the NPC Colonials in the head; Colonial messily expires.*

"If you _had_ kidnapped me, you would still have been foolish and inefficient. You should have _killed_ me; had you done that, I couldn't do this."

*Shoots another of the NPCs.*

"Is this clear, now? I SAID, IS THIS CLEAR?"

*When nobody answers, she shoots a third captive. Suddenly pauses, looking sheepish.*

"Oh. Terribly sorry. I forgot you were gagged. Please nod if I made myself clear."

*Lots of panicky nods*

"Good! Captain, please take them away for 'political reconstruction therapy'. And tell the doctors to concentrate on the parts about efficiency!"


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## Nifft

"Ah, heros! The sight of you warms the place my heart used to be."

 -- Nifft


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## s/LaSH

"I'm sorry, did I say your money _or_ your life? I meant your money _and_ your life. Sorry about that."

And the fearsomely nasty, "Bend over!"

"Welcome to my world... insect." -System Shock 2, bonus points if you use Shodan's voice. In fact, anything from System Shock 2 is good if it has a voice. Most of them do. Cyborg midwives are particularly fond of creepy little sayings like, 
"I'll t-t-tear out your spine," or 
"The little ones need lots of f-f-food to grow up big and st-st-strong." Sure, it's difficult to pronounce the metallic skipping-CD effect of their voices, but once you do... nastyville.

More Shock2 stuff:
"Your flesh betrays you." (A searching sound.)
"Do you not yearn to be free from the tyranny of the individual?" (A public announcement message said so apathetically it's creepy.)

And now, a non-verbal villain quote:

Point straight at someone and grin. Broadly. Once you've got their undivided attention, raise your hand so you're pointing your palm and chuckle. Insert favourite horrible magic power afterwards.


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## MarauderX

"Wass-kally Wabbit! I'll get youuu!"

"I see you have entertained the idea to keep breathing on your own... but now it is time to change your mind."

"Are you too lazy to kill yourselves?  Everyone knows that if I do it for you I get to keep your souls!"


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## Psion

One that I picked up here, and it elicited quite a response when I used it in my game:

_"Death wears many faces. Yours wears mine."_


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## Goobermunch

Great one from the Prophecy:

"I will lay you out and fill your mouth with your mother's feces."

One of my father's lines:

"I'm gonna cut you from a*****e to bellybutton."

Just spinning words here:

"I wonder what death will be like for you.  I wonder if the fire of your life will vanish all at once or if it will fade down to a tiny spark.  I certainly hope it will be the latter . . . that way you can enjoy, in some small way, the joys of motherhood as the maggots consume your corpse and leave you behind."


--G


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## Privateer

"You're just in time.  Tea?"

"Obese mangonel logic clockwise!  Meeheehee!"

"Did you enjoy your last sunrise?  I know I enjoyed it.  Everyone should remember to take out some time for themselves, yes?  Now, you die...  sorry you won't have time to take my advice."

"I certainly hope the bards remember to chronicle _this_  battle of yours."

"I just wish you would listen."

"Sirs, I just wish you would explain to this child here why it is neccesary to kill her favorite grandfather."

"This is Grand Wizzad V / Mixin' it up you an' me / I hopin' you having a good time / 'cause now my undead 'ill rip out yo spine"


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## NoOneofConsequence

_From Blackadder III_ 
"Baldric, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his fiendish instruments of torture will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil!"

_Homemade_ 
"Listen...death is laughing at us. Shall we ask what's so funny?"

And a cryptic favourite:
"Fiery the angels fell,
Deep thunder rolled around their shores,
Burning with the fires of Morlock"

Double kudos to the person who can cite both sources for this one.


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## Heretic Apostate

Privateer said:
			
		

> *"Sirs, I just wish you would explain to this child here why it is neccesary to kill her favorite grandfather." *




From the "How to be An Evil Overlord" list, right?


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## Privateer

Heretic Apostate said:
			
		

> *
> 
> From the "How to be An Evil Overlord" list, right?  *




Hey, I can pay homage to the greats, can't I? 

And actually, the Villain Design Handbook (or similar) from 2e had a villain whose daughter had died, crushing him, and he dismissed his horde of undead (yeah, like he couldn't have had her raised).  I was thinking of that, not the Overlord list, at the time, but... darn subconscious.  It's always there...

Back to your regularly scheduled evil, now...


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## Privateer

I just love this thread, so I'll give it a bump.  I feel like it's my duty.  Or something.


----------



## LeFrench

"Ah, Heroes, I have a friend, an exceptionally warm, intimate chap - you really must meet him. His name is Satan."


----------



## Dice4Hire

What is with all the massive thread necromancy recently?


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## Dannyalcatraz

Dice4Hire said:


> What is with all the massive thread necromancy recently?



That doesn't sound very villainous.  Maybe if you added a "BWAH-HA-HA-Haaaaaaaaaa!"


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## haakon1

Guilt Puppy said:


> "Shall we... dance?" (works best with a rapier, for some reason)
> 
> (Regarding some captured relation/friend/ally) "The look upon his/her face was priceless... You should see it. It's hanging on my wall."
> 
> "I'm not a religious man, I pray to no God. But if I were you, I would start."
> 
> "Don't feel so bad about dying today. The world ends tomorrow, anyhow."
> 
> "Before you begin, may I offer you a deal? If you pay the cost of a resurrection, I'll kill you twice."




I like these, a lot.


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## haakon1

demiurge1138 said:


> "And so, we meet again." (Even better if the party's never seen him before.)




That's good.

If there's a situation where the PC's have recovered a McGuffin from an early age, I'd reference that, especially if a PC resembles the ancient hero who used the McGuffin in days of yore.

For example, if Aragorn confronts the Witch-King of Angmar:

"And so, we meet again, Isildur.  And this time, I am prepared for you."


----------



## jonesy

"Today is the first day I will regret killing someone. But you won't know who. You'll be dead by then."




Dice4Hire said:


> What is with all the massive thread necromancy recently?



Might have something to do with the 'Similar Threads' thingy at the bottom of the page. Several times now I've caught myself thinking those were new.


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## EvilestQueen

“Blood is thicker than water, but both transfer heat in the same way. Those who are cold-blooded will eventually find themselves dying in colder water.”
-Me, giving a quote to the final boss
I suppose this quote could also work for an anti-hero.


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## aco175

@EvilestQueen welcome to the boards, please stay and look around.  Although you did just revisit a thread over 18 years old, but since it was bumped again 8 years later, it is ok.  Cheers.


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## Dannyalcatraz

Thread necros happen all the time and are no big deal.  Sometimes, it’s even a service to the community when someone dusts off a really good one!

Welcome aboard!


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## Dioltach

With this thread's topic and necro, I've just go to say it: "I'll be back."


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## Imaculata

Necro or not, here's a line from a villain that really got my player's blood boiling:

When they dragged the dreaded pirate captain Karagoz before the Countess, he said:

"A lot of good memories in this hall. I see you got the floor stains out."

He hinted at the time when the Countess was still a child, and he forced her father and uncle to watch as he severed her arm. Her uncle was also present as he said his vile words and his face winced with pain and anger behind clenched teeth, much to the delight of Karagoz.

The reply of the Countess however was far more devastating...

"You are a proud man aren't you? Very much obsessed with being known and feared throughout the Emerald Coast. It will sadden you to hear that after today, no one will know what became of you. You probably want me to sentence you to all manner of cruel punishments, but I have no desire to become like you. So after today, we are all just going to forget about you."

"You threatened to cut off my arm, if my father would not tell you where he hid the people of this town. It must have frustrated you to no end that he still would not give them up. But today, you are going to find out where he hid them. And I think you will find it a most unpleasant place. I'm sure you and your crew will get to know each other really well, down there in that dark pit, without food."

"Throw him and his crew into the old well and seal it with a heavy stone. From today hence forth, we will forget the name Karagoz and what became of him."


----------



## Bohandas

Mean Eyed Cat said:


> These are from various movies...




Death is only the beginning

I'll swallow your soul

There's a secret song at the center of the world and it's sound is like razors through flesh

No tears, it's a waste of good suffering

We have such sights to show you

See, it's a lot scarier when there's no motive


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