# Rate GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra



## Krug (Aug 6, 2009)

So what did you think?


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## Krug (Aug 6, 2009)

Found it quite an utter mess of a film, with basically four action scenes stitched together.


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## fanboy2000 (Aug 7, 2009)

I liked it. Fun, good characters. Unlike Sommers' Mummy movies though, the characters didn't get enough time to interact in in amusing ways. 

The end of the film went a little umm, weird on me.
[sblock]O.k. First, what's up with the blowing-up the ice cap? Ice floats, so nothing should have sank. In fact, it would make getting back up to the surface easier if something went wrong. Second, if the ice cap is blown up what were the elevator cables attached to?[/sblock]

Character recognition was strange. Cobra Commander's character was changed enough in the movie, I actually mistook him for someone else until. That said, it was kind of cool going through the movie going "hey, its _______!"

All in all, average. Though, and I never in my life thought I would say this (let alone twice in one summer) it wasn't as good as the first live action Transformers movie.


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## cignus_pfaccari (Aug 8, 2009)

I gave it a 7.

It was surprisingly enjoyable.  Admittedly, I'd expected it to be a horrendous soul-tearing abomination, which helped, but it was rather goofy fun.  The Pit was cool, the action scenes were very good, and it was all in all a surprisingly good time.  Little details like Breaker blowing bubbles with bubblegum made it, really.  Even the power armor was actually acceptable.

The things that didn't work for me?  Snake-Eyes shouldn't have lips on his mask (and, also, his origin is significantly different enough that it's a touch annoying*), but Ray Park is a badass and Snake Eyes has always been portrayed as a stupendous badass (in the comics, at least), so it works.  The Baroness' backstory seems to take entirely too little time**.  And the sense of tactics on the part of the non-Joe soldiers was rather poor, as they were depicted not taking cover and just standing and firing (and these are supposed to be elites).  In a flashback, Ripcord and Duke are shooting and taking cover behind a car, using the roof and windows as cover.  Yes, glass.

But, on the whole, I actually enjoyed myself, which was a surprise.

* - 



Spoiler



Vow of silence my ASS.  Dude's mute due to having his larynx damaged in a helicopter crash.  OTOH, they actually touch a good chunk of his background, like the Master being killed (though he looks more like the Soft Master than the Hard Master...).



** - 



Spoiler



Four years to go from chick to badass terrorist ninja?  Seems...too quick, though I suppose the nanite injections can help explain it.



Brad


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## Truth Seeker (Aug 8, 2009)

Not seeing, no rating.


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## Crothian (Aug 8, 2009)

6, entertaining enough


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## Punnuendo (Aug 9, 2009)

I went in to it wanting to see some crazy action and got some crazy action. I give it a 6.


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## Man in the Funny Hat (Aug 10, 2009)

Gave it a 6.  Action scenes were okay for a movie based on a cartoon, but overall it was quite... meh.  Forgettable.


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## Darthjaye (Aug 14, 2009)

I thought it was going to suck hard and was surprised to find it very entertaining.   I too also gave it a 7.   It was a nice that it was closer to the feel of the comics early on than the horrid cartoon series.   They gave us everything we needed to make it entertaining and fudged the lines just enough with simple backstories to make it enjoyable.   Yeah if you think your a movie critic this is not for you but then why are you watching it to be honest?   

We went to a matinee and honestly i would have paid the full night price for my son and i the one time to have seen it and not regret it one bit.


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## Darthjaye (Aug 14, 2009)

Man in the Funny Hat said:


> Gave it a 6.  Action scenes were okay for a movie based on a cartoon, but overall it was quite... meh.  Forgettable.




It is in fact not a movie based on a cartoon but a movie based on a comic book which spawned a horrible cartoon.   

Sorry, tension breaker, had to be said


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## frankthedm (Aug 14, 2009)

Plenty of fun and quite entertaining. Marlon Wayans was _far_ more tolerable than I feared he would be. 

Biggest groaner IMHO was the superfluous love story involving [sblock]duke and the baroness[/sblock]. Also the Baroness [sblock]not being evil really[/sblock] takes away from the character.

Herr doctor is very creepy. 

Tthe masks the villians don at the end are a little lacking [sblock] Destro's CG'ed lipwork looked awful & the writers should have let him keep the old mask. IMHO CC would have been better served with the featureless chrome mask since the skull motif [/sblock] looked too 'busy'.


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## Desdichado (Aug 14, 2009)

I liked it.  It was a pretty typical Sommers film.  Better than _Van Helsing_, not as good as _The Mummy_.  I liked all the homages to Star Wars in the submarine battle.  Some of them weren't subtle.  At all.


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## Hand of Evil (Aug 14, 2009)

Gave it a 6 - CGI was hit or miss, some looked good but at other times looking bad.  

Other issues with the movie: 
Love stories!  Why?  They just are not needed in an action movie...not even as backstory!  You want me to be more interested, more naked women! 

Star Wars thieves - okay, you can label it as a "homage" or a "nod" but what it is, is lazy film making!  You don't have the imagination to come up with something new and you know it worked in Star Wars, so you say hey, make it look like Star Wars, Mikey will eat it!​
Rather disappointed.


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## Azgulor (Aug 17, 2009)

fanboy2000 said:


> I liked it. Fun, good characters. Unlike Sommers' Mummy movies though, the characters didn't get enough time to interact in in amusing ways.
> 
> The end of the film went a little umm, weird on me.
> [sblock]O.k. First, what's up with the blowing-up the ice cap? Ice floats, so nothing should have sank. In fact, it would make getting back up to the surface easier if something went wrong. Second, if the ice cap is blown up what were the elevator cables attached to?[/sblock]
> ...





Actually, while it was what I expected it to be - an over-the-top-light-on-characterization-and-plot CGI fest, my Suspension of Disbelief gene kept trying to revert to the OFF position.  And I love a good popcorn action movie.

Seriously, instead of The Rise of Cobra, it should have been _GI JOE: The Removal of Physics_


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## Kaodi (Aug 18, 2009)

Hand of Evil said:


> Love stories!  Why?  They just are not needed in an action movie...not even as backstory!  You want me to be more interested, more naked women!




I would contend that while this may be true of a single movie, I think it would be patently false to suggest that action movies, collectively, never need love stories. After all, what, if not love, often motivates people to do extraordinary (action packed) things, for good or ill?

Now, certainly you should try to be economical with the amount of time you spend of such scenes, though relevant dialog can be placed in almost any kind of scene, but to leave it out entirely can make limit immersion. Without story, it is not an action movie, it is just action.


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## Thanee (Aug 18, 2009)

Absurd, over-the-top, but entertaining. Let's call it a 6.

Who in his right mind would install a voice-weapon-control in a plane? Guess they don't need any more precision than that. 

Bye
Thanee


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## Eosin the Red (Aug 18, 2009)

Amazingly better than I thought it would be... 6 maybe a 7. It made the wise choice to avoid the pretense of being something that it was not.


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## Vigilance (Aug 18, 2009)

7. 

It was entertaining, and better than I expected. 

Duke was pretty terrible though, which was probably the single biggest problem I had with the movie.


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## fanboy2000 (Aug 19, 2009)

Azgulor said:


> Seriously, instead of The Rise of Cobra, it should have been _GI JOE: The Removal of Physics_



During the polar icecap end battle, my girlfriend turned to me and said, "global warming doesn't kill polar bears, Cobra Commander does!"


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## Phaezen (Aug 19, 2009)

fanboy2000 said:


> The end of the film went a little umm, weird on me.
> [sblock]O.k. First, what's up with the blowing-up the ice cap? Ice floats, so nothing should have sank. In fact, it would make getting back up to the surface easier if something went wrong. Second, if the ice cap is blown up what were the elevator cables attached to?[/sblock]




[sblock]
See, I that didn't even register with me as odd, but by that time my sense of disbelief was sobbinging in a corner attacking its wrists with a blade, the whole car chase through Paris scene with its wierd lack of physics and crowd reactions got to me[/sblock]


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## Pbartender (Aug 20, 2009)

Thanee said:


> Who in his right mind would install a voice-weapon-control in a plane?




...Because everyone who joins Cobra is fluent in Celtic.


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