# Playing characters of the opposite gender



## Blizzardb (Jan 2, 2009)

A friend of mine forbids players to make characters of the opposite gender in his games, saying only that he is very uncomfortable with this. He has no problem with people roleplayng kenkus, minotaurs and half-ogres, but is bothered when a guy makes a female hero or vice versa.

I, on the other side, never forbid my players to create characters of the opposite gender, but for some reason they seem very reluctant to do so...

So, I was wondering - what is your opinion of the subject? Do you forbid or encourage such characters in your games and why? Do you love playing such characters? Hate it? Reluctant to do it?

Do you have any funny stories, related to such heroes?

Vote and discuss!

edit: I didn't post neutral options in the poll on purpose, just vote "neither" if no other answer applies to you.


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## garyh (Jan 2, 2009)

I may have briefly played a female character in a PbP game or two long ago, but I've never spent significant time playing a female character.  All my major, long-played PC's have been male.  I'm not philosophically opposed to playing a female character, it just doesn't usually occur to me when I'm tossing race/class/background concepts around in my head.  I have played non-gendered warforged characters, though.    That's part of exploring the whole non-biological nature of that race, though.

When I DM, I don't encourage or forbid opposite-gender PC's.  Not a priority to me.  I've only had one player play an opposite gender character in a live game, and it was not an issue at all.  And when I run PbP, I have no real way of knowing what gender the player at the other keyboard is anyway.


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## Rechan (Jan 2, 2009)

One of my players is annoyed/just doesn't understand why anyone would WANT to. He even goes so far as to question why anyone would do so for a computer game, where you have the option. 

I personally don't have anything against it (being online for as long as I have, I'm well used to opposite-gender playing). But I have heard of people doing it just to make crude jokes/be the proverbial slut character. That I would find annoying. 

Although I do think that it would be nice, just in general, so that an adventuring party doesn't look like an all boys club. But I don't think that I could play a woman in a serious fashion, in a Tabletop/Voicechat medium. In an online campaign that ran over a year and a half, I had a female DMPC, who was romantically involved with the party cleric.


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## Dragonbait (Jan 2, 2009)

I've never played a female character, but I've seen many that do play cross-gender characters and I have no problem with it. I've never thought of banning cross-gender characters.


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## Vyvyan Basterd (Jan 2, 2009)

I chose 'love to play' as it was the closest option. I don't LOVE to play female characters, but I do quite often enough. Especially as DM. And that's what I don't get each and every time this topic comes up. Why do some people have this problem when a person makes a character of the opposite gender, but the DM, by default, plays numerous opposite gender characters in the form of every opposite-gender NPC? Or do those with such a huge intolerance only roleplay same-gender NPCs? I am curious now, does your female-banning DM forbid female NPCs from participating in the ongoing world?


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## Rechan (Jan 2, 2009)

Vyvyan Basterd said:


> but the DM, by default, plays numerous opposite gender characters in the form of every opposite-gender NPC?



The DM runs them, but the DM is not choosing to make a female NPC as his sole representative in the game - the person he is "being" all the time.

Although, I would say that for people who are uncomfortable with opposite gender NPCs, and who ignore the DM issue, in-game romances must be awkward.


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## Blizzardb (Jan 2, 2009)

Vyvyan Basterd said:


> And that's what I don't get each and every time this topic comes up. Why do some people have this problem when a person makes a character of the opposite gender
> 
> <snip>




I don't get it either. This is why I posted the thread.

And the DM in question roleplays female NPCs (even if they are somewhat rarer than they should be). Its the trans-gender PCs he has some difficult to explain problem with.


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## Charwoman Gene (Jan 2, 2009)

Oh, is it THAT time again!

Yay for people showing their intolerance and homophobia!

Only a matter of time. 

IBTL


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## Blizzardb (Jan 2, 2009)

Charwoman Gene said:


> Oh, is it THAT time again!
> 
> Yay for people showing their intolerance and homophobia!
> 
> ...




I am sorry, did I do something wrong? I am new here and I really don't get your meaning.


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## Dragonbait (Jan 2, 2009)

Vyvyan Basterd said:


> Why do some people have this problem when a person makes a character of the opposite gender, but the DM, by default, plays numerous opposite gender characters in the form of every opposite-gender NPC? Or do those with such a huge intolerance only roleplay same-gender NPCs? I am curious now, does your female-banning DM forbid female NPCs from participating in the ongoing world?




This is one of those topics that I never thought was wrong (cross-gender characters) until the internets educated me to think otherwise. Thanks internets!


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## Rechan (Jan 2, 2009)

Blizzardb said:


> I am sorry, did I do something wrong? I am new here and I really don't get your meaning.



Not to put words in dudette's mouth, but I'm pretty sure the message she is conveying is that this topic will derail into intolerance and homophobia, by the assumption that homophobia/intolerance is the only reason to object to/be uncomfortable with opposite-gender PCs.

Sort've how discussions of scantily clad women in fantasy art often leads to arguments over misogyny and the treatment of women.


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## Vyvyan Basterd (Jan 2, 2009)

Charwoman Gene said:


> Oh, is it THAT time again!
> 
> Yay for people showing their intolerance and homophobia!
> 
> ...





Is this just Antici....pation? 

EDIT: I cants reed ver'gud.


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## Leatherhead (Jan 2, 2009)

As a DM: I use opposite gender npcs as needed.

As a player: I have created only one, a female dwarf with a beard, and that was over 10 years ago. However, I have played more than a few characters that did not have a gender, or who had more than one.

I suppose I just have more fun either ignoring that aspect of the character completely, or intentionally mucking about with it in absurd ways.


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## FriarRosing (Jan 2, 2009)

I voted that I don't really like people to play characters of the opposite gender in my games, but that's mainly just because of bad experiences. If someone really wanted to play a character of a gender different from their own, and for a reason that wasn't just "I want to play an elven slut plz" I would certainly allow it. 

I've always kind of wanted to play a character who cross dresses (not that I'm interested in doing that in real life, by the way ), but I don't think my friends would be able to take the character seriously. And, really, I'm not sure I could play such a character well--I'm worried they would just come off as gimmicky. 

Actually, I've always wanted to play a she-hulk type of character. Like, a barbarian women who smashes things really well. But sadly I'm always the DM for some reason. 

EDIT:

I figured I'd also add that as a DM I always try to include bad ass female characters--I find the majority of the fantasy genre to be overly male dominated, I personally don't want all my female characters to be swooning princesses in need of a valiant knight to save them. I've had no problems roleplaying women NPCs.


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## StreamOfTheSky (Jan 2, 2009)

I actively encourage it and play about 40% of my characters as female, including my newest character (for a total of 1/2 of my current characters being female; 1/3 if her animal companion counts as a character).  Sadly, I've never played a homosexual character, I always mean to but then kinda forget about it.  I have played a few female rogue spy types that were willing to be with another female if it lead to getting info or an opportunity to steal something, etc... but none were outright bisexual.

I generally have a slight edge for females as rogues/bards; melee brawlers have been a strong edge for male characters; wizard/sorcerer types have been more often male; clerics are evenly split; and druids get their own category.
Possibly Definitely TMI:
[sblock]I've now started playing my third druid.  All have been female so far.  I'm willing to make a male druid, it's just...I like my druids to be sexually kinky.  Like...abnormally so -- dendrophilia/phytophilia; nearly all enjoy bondage and get a thrill using entangle/kelpstrand/etc...; none have been into bestiality yet, but find drawing lines between humans and the other animals silly when they can become animals and often times relate mroe to them than other humans...  Ultimately, the large majority of paraphelia cases involve males, so I guess I just like playing against type. 

And between the prevalence of bondage spells, wildshaping, thousand faces, eventual physical agelessness, and generic hippie "free love" vibes, I can't help but think of druids as kinky sex fiends.[/sblock]

Oh...my previous female druid flirted with, dated, and got engaged to a male PC played by another guy, for whatever that counts.  Left the game before they could tie the knot, sadly.


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## Griego (Jan 2, 2009)

I don't care if anyone plays the opposite gender, but if you're just going to use it as an outlet for your frustrated sexual urges, take a hike.


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## Halivar (Jan 2, 2009)

Griego said:


> I don't care if anyone plays the opposite gender, but if you're just going to use it as an outlet for your frustrated sexual urges, take a hike.



This. I have seen people play the opposite gender several times, and it was fine. I would only have a problem with it if it was for absurd, demeaning, and/or prurient interests.

I, myself, have never played a female character, and probably never will. Not because it's icky, but because I'm just not interested in such a character concept. Now, when I play an MMO, I play exclusively female characters. Given the fact that most MMO's are third-person following-camera perspective, I must consider whose butt I'd rather be staring at for hours at a time (here's a hint: it ain't a male orc).


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## FriarRosing (Jan 2, 2009)

Halivar said:


> Now, when I play an MMO, I play exclusively female characters. Given the fact that most MMO's are third-person following-camera perspective, I must consider whose butt I'd rather be staring at for hours at a time (here's a hint: it ain't a male orc).




I hear this all the time.


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## Obryn (Jan 2, 2009)

In my recent games, none of my players has played a character of a different gender.  It's not like I forbid or discourage it; it's just kind of an option nobody has taken.  Like half-elves.

When I'm playing, I switch back & forth, depending on the character concept.  Since I DM characters of different genders, I don't see the big deal.

In CRPGs, I also switch back & forth.  For some games, like Oblivion, there are actual differences.  For others, it's a matter of which character graphics look cooler.

-O


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## Leatherhead (Jan 2, 2009)

Halivar said:


> This. I have seen people play the opposite gender several times, and it was fine. I would only have a problem with it if it was for absurd, demeaning, and/or prurient interests.
> 
> I, myself, have never played a female character, and probably never will. Not because it's icky, but because I'm just not interested in such a character concept. Now, when I play an MMO, I play exclusively female characters. Given the fact that most MMO's are third-person following-camera perspective, I must consider whose butt I'd rather be staring at for hours at a time (here's a hint: it ain't a male orc).




I agree with you on the first part. The second part enrages me to an irrational level, as I have played with people who have said that, and it only leads me to wonder if they are too busy ogling pixelated buttocks to pay attention and play the game. No offense to you intended, I blame raiding (which I no longer do, thankfully) for making me so bitter toward people in general.

And besides, they have capes to cover those things so you don't have to look at them.


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## Charwoman Gene (Jan 2, 2009)

Blizzardb said:


> I am sorry, did I do something wrong? I am new here and I really don't get your meaning.




We'll see.  It's juts a classic train wreck thread, that's all.  Someone inevitably comes along and says something sutipd.


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## Dausuul (Jan 2, 2009)

I'd say I play about 50% male, 50% female characters.  Most players I know tend more toward playing their own gender, but not exclusively.  As a DM, I have no problem with it.  It's just one of those things, you know?

I picked the "none of the above" option because I don't really have strong feelings on the subject.  Female, male, they're all player characters to me.


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## Rechan (Jan 2, 2009)

Sandwich said:


> I've always kind of wanted to play a character who cross dresses (not that I'm interested in doing that in real life, by the way ), but I don't think my friends would be able to take the character seriously. And, really, I'm not sure I could play such a character well--I'm worried they would just come off as gimmicky.



I think it would be fun to go all Shakespeare. Y'know, play a female who's playing a male playing a female. 

Wait, that's too confusing. Just a female PC pretending ot be a male PC would do it.


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## Halivar (Jan 2, 2009)

Leatherhead said:


> The second part enrages me to an irrational level



Why? I'm not trying to open a can of worms, but there is more to the aesthetics of human (or, in this case, humanoid) anatomy in art than sexuality. Historically speaking, women are more popular than men as art subjects, in part because of traditional views of idealized gender roles ("soft" subjects are aesthetically pleasing, while "hard" subjects are not). According to enculturated-lens theory, the "idealized" male form (and the one used in most MMO's for male characters) is one of action and a sort of brutishness, and almost grotesque musculature. And yet, these are the sorts of characteristics that are not considered aesthetically pleasing to the vast majority of either men _or_ women.

It has almost nothing to do with "getting one's jollies."


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## fba827 (Jan 2, 2009)

All other things being equal, the only difference between a male and female are (by definition) things like gender identity, gender role, and sexuality.

Some people are just either uncomfortable being around people acting out other things (maybe they don't want to "act out" having two men talk to each other in a flirty way, etc) or some people just aren't mature enough to act out other things in a tasteful way.  Or other reasons.

I'm not bothered by playing another gender or by others playing another gender -- it is when someone isn't mature enough to do it tastefully.  The gender aspect of the roleplaying shouldn't be so overbearing and extreme that a stereotypical gender attitude is the only defining characteristic of that PC; PCs (just like people) should have multilple character traits that define them as a whole, not one aspect taken to the extreme.

Also, the other part of it is voices.  If a player likes to do voices when speaking in character, if their "girl voice" (or man voice) isn't particularly pleasant on the ears for the other players, that can get old fast....

So if someone has been burned before on the issue or doesn't know what to expect from players (like a new group or someone new) than I can understand just avoiding the issue altogether and saying no to it from the get go so as not to have to address it down the road.


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## Rechan (Jan 2, 2009)

Halivar said:


> Why? I'm not trying to open a can of worms, but there is more to the aesthetics of human (or, in this case, humanoid) anatomy in art than sexuality. Historically speaking, women are more popular than men as art subjects, in part because of traditional views of idealized gender roles ("soft" subjects are aesthetically pleasing, while "hard" subjects are not). According to enculturated-lens theory, the "idealized" male form (and the one used in most MMO's for male characters) is one of action and a sort of brutishness, and almost grotesque musculature. And yet, these are the sorts of characteristics that are not considered aesthetically pleasing to the vast majority of either men _or_ women.



Agreed there; for instance, the Night Elf and Drae males are ugly as sin _because_ they are hyper-masculine.


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## Teflon Billy (Jan 2, 2009)

I disallow it in my game.

I've seen it go wrong more times than right, and I like to minimize stuff that goes wrong in my games.

If someone came to me with a concept that would add to the game and absolutely _had_ to be female (as opposed to the concepts "Lesbian Badass" or "Flirty Slut"...which are both the more common proposals in my 20-odd years experience) I might give it a look.

But given that the culture has been reasonably successful in it's attempts to downplay the differences between male and female ability, I have yet to really see a useful concept that _needs_ a certain gender.



Griego said:


> I don't care if anyone plays the opposite gender, but if you're just going to use it as an outlet for your frustrated sexual urges, take a hike.




That too.

To quote a good friend of mine (who also GM's)...

"If someone goes home from my weekly game and uses it as material to _pleasure themselves_...than the train has left the tracks.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Jan 2, 2009)

I allow it in my games, and I play opposite gender PCs when its appropriate...and allowed.


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## Hella_Tellah (Jan 2, 2009)

As someone who almost exclusively GMs, I find that a disproportionate number of my NPCs (15% or so?) are old women with one of the following voices:
*"We are not amused!"
*The wealthy dowager voice from Marx Brothers movies
*A creaking old peasant lady voice.  "'ello deary!"
I don't think I've ever made an out-and-out sexy female NPC.

I'm a little annoyed by guys playing women who are supposed to be sexy, I guess, but just because I think it's a boring character trait.  The women I game with usually play hideous or at best average-looking female characters.  Come to think of it, that's always been my experience, especially when I introduce roleplaying games to a woman who has never played one before.  It must be kind of liberating to play in a world where being pretty doesn't matter, or to play a character that doesn't bother with all the hassle of meeting up to other peoples' standards of beauty.

Which is to say that I have no idea how to vote in your poll.  Maybe if I had had a player who tried to do something creepy with cross-gender roleplaying, I'd feel differently.


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## Mallus (Jan 2, 2009)

Our group doesn't care one way or the other. The only onus on us (whoa... alteration) is to make interesting characters that don't mortally offend the other people playing. 

(we succeed at the 1st part slightly more than the 2nd)

That remind me, I haven't played a female character in a long time. The last was in an an old M&M1e campaign, when I ran Penny Dreadful, the Mistress of Pulp Fiction(s).


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## Hella_Tellah (Jan 2, 2009)

Mallus said:


> ...Penny Dreadful, the Mistress of Pulp Fiction(s).




That's awesome!


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## Prisoner6 (Jan 2, 2009)

I have no problems with players creating characters of "opposite" gender, or for any sort of gender - such as asexual or non-sexual, in the case of, say, robots or some fantasy race that doesn't have a clear gender.

As for myself, I wouldn't play such a PC because I dont' think I could stay "in character"  week after week after week.  

Having said that, I have played a character who described himself as "a great lover of women ... and pretty good lover of men" and fancied himself as the world's greatest lover.


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## kolikeos (Jan 2, 2009)

It would not matter to me if someone played a different gendered PC and I have never played in a game where it was an issue. In fact, one of the players (female) in the games I DM always plays male PCs.
At one point there was a player (male) who played a sluty female PC, I suppose that's one of the reasons he does not play with us anymore.


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## Mallus (Jan 2, 2009)

Prisoner6 said:


> Having said that, I have played a character who described himself as "a great lover of women ... and pretty good lover of men" and fancied himself as the world's greatest lover.



And he was a terrific character. More importantly, he was proof that almost any character concept can work when they're played well, even one that's jokey/deliberately comedic.


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## Umbran (Jan 2, 2009)

I see accusations of "intolerant" and "homophobe" being tossed around already.  Even if it is accurate, it will help nothing.  If it is inaccurate, it is insulting.   Since no good is going to come out of it, please just don't.


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## Kzach (Jan 2, 2009)

Rechan said:


> One of my players is annoyed/just doesn't understand why anyone would WANT to. He even goes so far as to question why anyone would do so for a computer game, where you have the option.




For computer games, I generally make female characters primarily because that's what I'm staring at for hours on end and I may as well like what I'm staring at 

For RL games, I don't get why anyone would want to unless they were transgendered. An RL RPG is where you envision yourself as the character. You are ROLE playing. Unless there's some impotent desire to see yourself as the opposite gender, then I don't see why anyone would roleplay as such.


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## Rechan (Jan 2, 2009)

Kzach said:


> An RL RPG is where you envision yourself as the character. You are ROLE playing. Unless there's some impotent desire to see yourself as the opposite gender, then I don't see why anyone would roleplay as such.



I don't know; do I personally desire to be a murderer that kicks in the door and slaughters people?

Or do I desire to see myself as a devotee to a god?

Roleplaying a character doesn't have to be a freudian representation of what you desire yourself to be in your truest form, y'know. It can just be a fun exploration into _something else_. Something not you. In fact, I prefer to be things totally _unlike_ myself, because I am myself all the damn time.

I for instance love playing monstrous entities; tri-keen, kobolds, etc (because I'm human all the time, and why be human-like?). Doesn't mean I want to be a monster in my heart of hearts. I don't _see_ myself as a monster.

Coming from a background in acting, I wouldn't say playing a character says anything about my view of myself.


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## SkidAce (Jan 2, 2009)

Interesting thoughts.

My first DM asked me to create a female warrior as my first character.  He said "A warrior is simple to play, and a female character will make it so you THINK about the personalitiy of your character, not just play yourself.."

Sounded reasonable to me.  And so 23 years ago another role player was created.

And re: the poster above...ROLE playing is not just putting yourself in the role...as if you were there in the fantasy world...it can also be assuming a role different from your normal self.  I.E. I am not a sneaky rogue "end justifies the means" person....but I play a pretty good one.  Another concept I am fond of is the country girl with a spear...chosen by her diety to spread the word. (a paladin without heavy armor or noble upbringing)  Boy were those snooty paladins in the city suprised when she showed up with the "true power"..hehe.

So my characters (table top and MMO) tend to be about 75% male and 25% female...merely for the concept of the character I come up with, thats the ratio I tend to see.

and I am a adult male by the way...


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## Leatherhead (Jan 3, 2009)

Halivar said:


> Why? I'm not trying to open a can of worms, but there is more to the aesthetics of human (or, in this case, humanoid) anatomy in art than sexuality. Historically speaking, women are more popular than men as art subjects, in part because of traditional views of idealized gender roles ("soft" subjects are aesthetically pleasing, while "hard" subjects are not). According to enculturated-lens theory, the "idealized" male form (and the one used in most MMO's for male characters) is one of action and a sort of brutishness, and almost grotesque musculature. And yet, these are the sorts of characteristics that are not considered aesthetically pleasing to the vast majority of either men _or_ women.
> 
> It has almost nothing to do with "getting one's jollies."



Perhaps I should have said "irrationally enrages me"
As to why, I was a Raider.  You don't even get to see your characters butt if you are "doing it right."

But anyway, most MMOs use the Greek or an Anime ideal male form for humans, and sometimes elves. Anything else is trying to fit an art style (WoW caricatures, CoH/V) or intentionally ugly, except for the games that would look bad no matter what model they used.


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## Piratecat (Jan 3, 2009)

Griego said:


> I don't care if anyone plays the opposite gender, but if you're just going to use it as an outlet for your frustrated sexual urges, take a hike.



That's a nice, concise description.

I'm happy to have folks play cross-gender PCs, and I play them myself. No one minds or cares.


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## Silver Moon (Jan 3, 2009)

Piratecat said:


> I'm happy to have folks play cross-gender PCs, and I play them myself. No one minds or cares.



Exactly, well said!   Of the six players currently in my weekly gaming group four have had cross-gendered PCs while two never have.  It's all fine.


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## smdmcl (Jan 3, 2009)

Historically, I'd say 1 in 5 of the characters I have played have been females. Currently I am playing 1 female and 1 male character. I've never had an issue doing so (nor has anyone ever had an issue with me doing it, AFAIK) and I am actually totally surprised that there are people out there that have a problem with it.

The genders of the characters I play often effect the way I play them but the characters sexuality never does.


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## smdmcl (Jan 3, 2009)

Silver Moon said:


> Exactly, well said! Of the six players currently in my weekly gaming group four have had cross-gendered PCs while two never have. It's all fine.




In my current group of six, four of us play cross-gendered characters, one never does and one member is new so it's hard for me to comment. We have one female player who probably plays male characters about as often as she plays female ones.


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## Kzach (Jan 3, 2009)

Rechan said:


> I don't know; do I personally desire to be a murderer that kicks in the door and slaughters people?




I think this is probably an important point and where people differ significantly in their enjoyment of roleplaying.

For me playing a video game, I rarely see myself as the character. So playing a female doesn't bother me. It's not an extension of myself, it's just a means to play a game. And why not have a means that I find interesting to look at?

But for roleplaying, I definitely envisage myself as the character. I think this is also where I had difficulty understanding the desire to play evil characters. For me, roleplaying is about seeing myself as the character in another situation, in another world. It's pure escapism. I am the hero that gets all the chicks, etc.

Same with Dexter. When I watch a movie, I sympathise with a character. I put myself in their shoes and let the movie take me to another place. So I feel conflicted that I enjoy watching Dexter.

This point actually helps me a lot. I 'get' why someone would play a female character or evil character now. It's just a role, not an extension of themselves. Just a character with no real connection to it other than to play a game.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Jan 3, 2009)

Griego said:
			
		

> I don't care if anyone plays the opposite gender, but if you're just going to use it as an outlet for your frustrated sexual urges, take a hike.






Piratecat said:


> That's a nice, concise description.




I guess that explains why I never got any traction with you with my cross-gender concept: Tigglebitty Funbaggs, the whip-cracking halfling whore of Greyhawk.




EDIT: Hey! Fun with Search Clouds! A quick search for "Funbaggs" turned up all the other cross-gender threads of the past few years.


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## WhatGravitas (Jan 3, 2009)

Kzach said:


> An RL RPG is where you envision yourself as the character. You are ROLE playing.



In that case, I don't really envision myself as the character - I rather try to understand the character I play and try to do the decisions from their point of view instead of my own (and usual) point of view.

For that reason, exploring different genders, mindsets, and moral codices with characters is fun to me - because it's distinctively *not* me. And to me, that's playing the different role.

But, obviously, your mileage may vary! 

On the topic itself: I rarely bother with playing female characters - first of all, I tend to be DM, second... I've seen too many people with repressed sexual urges in RPing. Takes the fun out of it.

Cheers, LT.


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## Storminator (Jan 3, 2009)

Piratecat said:


> That's a nice, concise description.
> 
> I'm happy to have folks play cross-gender PCs, and I play them myself. No one minds or cares.




I'm looking forward to your take on Dangergirl! Sidekick of the Estranged Sidekick Dangerboy! in the upcoming All Sidekicks Issue!

PS


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## Fallen Seraph (Jan 3, 2009)

Perfectly fine with people playing someone of the opposite sex in my games. I routinely play opposite gender as well. We simply do, it is a character and just like with an author who decides, "this character feels like they should be male or female" it is the same deal with our characters.


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## Silvercat Moonpaw (Jan 3, 2009)

For me I've never been exactly sure if the desire to play a different gender is really about playing that gender or about playing something I'm not.  I can play my own gender if the character is removed from being human.


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## Piratecat (Jan 3, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> I guess that explains why I never got any traction with you with my cross-gender concept: Tigglebitty Funbaggs, the whip-cracking halfling whore of Greyhawk.



Well, duh. My game doesn't take place in Greyhawk.


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## Celebrim (Jan 3, 2009)

I've been a DM more than a player.  As a DM, I play absolutely everything (that isn't a PC) regardless of race, gender, or alignment.  Therefore, as a player, I'm pretty much comfortable in the shoes of anything and did once have a female character.

I can understand a player getting a little wierded out by a fellow player playing a character of the opposite gender.  I don't really understand a DM having the same problem.  You'd think the experience of being a DM would acustom yourself to the idea that you are not your character and aren't trying to live out any particular identity through that character.

That being said, I think I'd be a little wierded out by a player that seemed to be just a bit too attached to or infatuated with a character of the opposite gender.  But then again, I get a little wierded out by any player that seems to overly identify with a particular character to the point that the line between character and player begins to blur.  I've known characters who were the character and who thought of themselves as the character and always played the exact same character, and its a little bit wierd even without any gender bending.  The gender bending would just make it that much wierder.  Personally, I hope that everyone at my table is happy being who they are and that they are just playing a fun and sometimes engrossing game.  Any more than that is more baggage than I want to deal with during a generally light hearted pasttime.

I think that there is something to be said for playing a character that fits within the sensibilities of the other players.  Anything that your friends wouldn't find desirable to air publically probably isn't a fit topic for gaming unless their has been an explicit consensus to explore the topic.  I wouldn't as a DM put PC's in a position where their character was raped or graphically tortured.  I'd definitely steer clear of any topic that touched to closely on a player's real life traumatic experiences (assuming I knew what they were), unless I had explicit permission to go there.  So sometimes you just stay out of a subject matter that the rest of the group doesn't want, even if that means adjusting your character.  For example, I once had a CN character.  Logically, I couldn't think of a reason why the character wouldn't be bixsexual, and even had hinted at this abit in the character's backstory.  But I certainly never forced this on the rest of the group, and would have avoided any oppurtunity to do so.  

I think that the above extends to not playing outside of your own gender in a group that isn't fully comfortable with the idea.   And to a certain extent, I can see why.  I was once in online RPG where one of the players was playing a character of the opposite gender, and the logic of the story dictated a romantic attraction between my character and his.  Even though the relationship was purely platonic and chaste and the logic of the story dictated that it remain so, the more the story developed that way the more uncomfortable he became with it. 

So as a DM I can think of good reasons to have a 'play your own gender' rule, to avoid intraparty conflict and because I've seen people play the opposite gender out of a sort of voyerism that is either unhealthy or unlikely to retain an lasting fascination, but if I had such a rule it certainly wouldn't be because I'm uncomfortable with the concept of having a character gender, beliefs, ethics or anything else radically different than my own.


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## On Puget Sound (Jan 3, 2009)

It's never been an issue in my games.  One problem,though, is that it's frequently hard to keep in mind, especially with androgynous fantasy names.  "Thriktil was stung by the scorpion, and now he's turning kind of green." "You mean SHE'S turning green."  "Oh yeah, sorry."  

A wider selection of character miniatures would probably help with this problem, but players who play a different gender often fall into overacting or exagerrating their gender role simply so that people will remember it.


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## Set (Jan 3, 2009)

I picked none of the above.  I neither encourage nor discourage players from playing characters of different races, sexes, species, etc.  I neither 'love' nor 'hate' playing characters of one race, sex, species, etc. over the other.

Some characters 'feel' like females when I'm writing them up.  Others 'feel' like males.  Some 'feel' like Gnoll Druids.  Others 'feel' like shapeshifting genderless alien superheroes.

My penis is unaffected by whether or not the character I'm playing has one.

In my 25ish years of RPGing, I've played mostly with men and women who play whatever character makes sense for the role or idea they have in mind, adults who have no problems telling their character from their self.  I have also played with one or two people (men, always) who seem unable to make their character deviate too far from their own self-image (won't play women, won't play black or hispanic or gay characters, won't play a halfling or gnome, etc.), and I'm not going to 'encourage' them to play something different.  They don't need to 'play outside of their comfort zone' because it isn't my job, as their friend, to make them uncomfortable.


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## Celebrim (Jan 3, 2009)

Set said:


> I don't need to 'play outside of their comfort zone' because it isn't my job, as their friend, to make them uncomfortable.




Well said.


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## Set (Jan 3, 2009)

Rechan said:


> Roleplaying a character doesn't have to be a freudian representation of what you desire yourself to be in your truest form, y'know. It can just be a fun exploration into _something else_. Something not you. In fact, I prefer to be things totally _unlike_ myself, because I am myself all the damn time.




'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.'

Great point!


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## The Green Adam (Jan 3, 2009)

Never played a female character and while I would never think to ban such from my game, I'm not a fan of the practice. I simply prefer when men play men, women play women and little blue furry things from Antares IV play little blue furry things from Antares IV.

In truth, I've rarely experienced it much as my normal RPG group has at least as many women as men.

AD


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## Rechan (Jan 3, 2009)

Kzach said:


> This point actually helps me a lot. I 'get' why someone would play a female character or evil character now. It's just a role, not an extension of themselves. Just a character with no real connection to it other than to play a game.



It's also a way to do things that are "Unsafe" or are otherwise uncomfortable, in a safe environment. 

If I don't like confrontations, or if I have a lot of frustration, I might just want to work those frustrations out on some orcs. It's not me being violent, but it is living vicariously. I may personally be against killing (and could never see _myself_ do it), but this character lets me do it in a manner that is "okay".

The same with playing a female character. Not to put motivations on those that play opposite gender, but they might just want to tool around with gender roles, or express their feminine side in a manner that's "okay" (well, obviously not, considerign some have a problem with it). They don't want to get a sex change, don't see themselves as the opposite gender, but the opportunity to pretend for a second is at least a manner of exploration. 

The notion of exploration is the same as playing a tri-keen - an exercise in playing something with a totally alien mindset and mannerism, to see if you can weird out your friends.

But yes. For instance, the DM has little connection to his NPCs, I presume. So, it's the same notion of "Here is a character whose identity I am not emotionally invested in, I just want to jump in their head and cruise around for a while because their identiy/personality/whatever is fun and/or interesting."


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## Rechan (Jan 3, 2009)

A thought occurs to me: 

I suspect some women cross-gender RPers might feel more comfortable doing manly things like killing and action in a more manly persona. 

Or, they could just want to avoid PCs and NPCs hitting on their female characters.


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## lutecius (Jan 3, 2009)

At least this time around we were spared the whole "I don't allow such characters because they're never played *right*" argument.

I generally don't play characters of the opposite gender but i don't care one way or another when others do.

1- Romantic interactions between PCs are going to be awkward regardless of the player's gender so we generally avoid them.

2- We don't use much direct speech and the DM almost always uses third person so the character/player discrepancy is less jarring. 
We occasionally make accents and falsettos when goofing around, though.

3- I don't care if a female character is somewhat stereotypical or unconvincing. I don't find the slutty sorceress any more disruptive than the roguish womanizer or boozing dwarf sociopath. 



Kzach said:


> This point actually helps me a lot. I 'get' why someone would play a female character or evil character now. It's just a role, not an extension of themselves. Just a character with no real connection to it other than to play a game.



But then again, most actors find/bring some part of themselves to each role. How disturbing is that?


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## mmu1 (Jan 3, 2009)

I wouldn't disallow characters of gender opposite to that of the players but frankly, I'm not a huge fan.

Generally speaking, I'm just not big on going "outside the comfort zone" or people deciding they have to "stretch their acting chops" - the results usually aren't pretty (and have more in common with caricature than acting) and if that kind of thing is typical of a game, I find it's often a good indicator that there's going to be too much bad melodrama and not enough adventure for my tastes.

Also, while I've seen plenty of people creeped out by weird characters (in this case, universally male players running female PCs), I've not _once_ seen PC gender make a difference by allowing someone to play a character that _anyone_ at the table was blown away by.

In the final analysis, I'd be fine with it in the group I play in right now, but I don't think any of us would be able to come up with any good reasons to do it - so no one does.


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## sjmiller (Jan 3, 2009)

In the last campaign I started, several years ago, I started with a very large group of players: 6 men and 3 women, plus me as the DM.  To aid me in running a brand new game, and to better avoid some confusion, I asked people to create characters who matched their gender.  This saved a lot of time with avoiding pronoun problems, believe me!  I also reminded the group that I run games with little or no sexual content, as it is just not an area of RPGs I care to handle.  That, however, is a different topic.

While I do not strongly object to people playing characters of the opposite gender, I find that few do it well or with the purest of intentions.  I find the same is true of a great many people who play characters of a different sexual orientation then the player.

Does this mean I do not *ever* allow cross-gender or alternate sexuality characters?  No, but I do not actively encourage them.


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## S'mon (Jan 3, 2009)

I like playing female PCs, I'm very happy for male players to do so, and female players to play male PCs.  I doubt I would play in a game where the GM forbade such.


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## Lord Mhoram (Jan 3, 2009)

I encourage such as a GM, I have only one female player, and I like to have a more balanced mix of characters.

As a player... right now (between differing rotating games) I play two women, two men and an other (a man sized amoeba from the Andromeda galaxy who breeds by mitosis - a supers game).

To me it's no different than playing a race other than human. You play something you are not.


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## Jeff Wilder (Jan 3, 2009)

lutecius said:


> At least this time around we were spared the whole "I don't allow such characters because they're never played *right*" argument.
> 
> [...]
> 
> 1- Romantic interactions between PCs are going to be awkward regardless of the player's gender so we generally avoid them.



Excellent ironic juxtaposition!


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## megamania (Jan 3, 2009)

Other.

I neither forbid it nor encourage it.

I do expect the player to role play it.   If a male is playing a female I don't want the game to deteriate with "easy" jokes and the such.

I have done played female characters before and yes it can be uncomfortable at times.   (weird to truely act sexual or romantic with another guy... doesn't work for me) thus why I often avoid the subject for ALL players when I GM.


Avoid is different from saying no or encourage however.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Jan 4, 2009)

Piratecat said:


> Well, duh. My game doesn't take place in Greyhawk.




A ha! I have that in writing, bub.

If this wasn't already the greatest character never played, I'd hold your feet to the fire.


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## Treebore (Jan 4, 2009)

I have played numerous female characters over the years, Jade, Jesmond, Callis, and Ailanon to name a few. I find it interesting and challenge to try and look at things from a female point of view.

I have no problems with other guys doing the same. I have no problem with straight guys playing gay pink wearing Paladins either. Or gay people playing gay characters. As long as everything is kept "tasteful".

Thats my only requirement, being tasteful.


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## Teflon Billy (Jan 4, 2009)

Rechan said:


> ...The notion of exploration is the same as playing a tri-keen - an exercise in playing something with a totally alien mindset and mannerism, to see if you can weird out your friends...






Wow.  I thought I had a poor understanding of the fairer sex, but I never thought they were on par with 6-legged, poisonous intelligent insects 

I also never dreamed that their portrayal would "weird out" my friends unless done _really_ poorly 

(which is, admittedly, almost always the case)


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## Treebore (Jan 4, 2009)

Teflon Billy said:


> Wow.  I thought I had a poor understanding of the fairer sex, but I never thought they were on par with 6-legged, poisonous intelligent insects
> 
> I also never dreamed that their portrayal would "weird out" my friends unless done _really_ poorly
> 
> (which is, admittedly, almost always the case)





I've seen plenty of guys "wierded out" or confused about woman. Plus we often see the "other sex" (male or female) referred to as being aliens from another planet. (MArs/Venus) So acting like a 6 legged poisonous insect may not seem like much of a stretch to some people.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Jan 4, 2009)

Treebore said:


> I've seen plenty of guys "wierded out" or confused about woman. Plus we often see the "other sex" (male or female) referred to as being aliens from another planet. (MArs/Venus) So acting like a 6 legged poisonous insect may not seem like much of a stretch to some people.




This came up in one of these threads from years past:

Acting like something that does not exist, no matter how alien, is easier than pretending to be an otherwise mundane member of the opposite sex, because we _KNOW _what someone of the opposite sex is "supposed" to be like. We have a frame of reference to judge your performance by. 

That's why you're weirding us out.

You're in the Uncanny Valley, and millions and millions of years of human evolution tells me you aren't getting out.


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## Shroomy (Jan 4, 2009)

I selected "Neither" since there was no option for actively discouraging or encouraging cross-gender playing.  I'm not too concerned about the subject and while I normally play male characters, I'm kicking around a character concept for a female character, but that will have to wait until PHB2 is released since its a deva invoker.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Jan 4, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> This came up in one of these threads from years past:
> 
> Acting like something that does not exist, no matter how alien, is easier than pretending to be an otherwise mundane member of the opposite sex, because we _KNOW _what someone of the opposite sex is "supposed" to be like. We have a frame of reference to judge your performance by.
> 
> ...




But that's a problem within the perceiver, not the perceived.  Its not a rational judgement that someone's RP is bad or good.*

Personally, I've never experienced the Uncanny Valley effect, it simply isn't an issue for me.

*Actually, the better the RP, the stronger the UV effect should be.  If your revulsion is strong, that is just an indicator that the person who is generating the UV effect within you is doing a good job of RP.


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## pathfinderq1 (Jan 4, 2009)

As a GM, I have no particular preference- as long as they enjoy the character and aren't too far-gone crazy it is fine.

As a player, I roughly balance out the roles: my LARP characters are exclusively male, my tabletop characters run about 50/50, and my PbP characters are about 90% female.  I have found, over the years, that playing a female character does help keep too much of "me" from seeping into the character portrayal- that is, it is easier to stay "in character", without my own instinctive responses slowly taking over.


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## lutecius (Jan 4, 2009)

Jeff Wilder said:


> Excellent ironic juxtaposition!



Well, not so surprisingly, I don’t think it’s that contradictory 

The first point refers to dms prohibiting or strongly discouraging "cross gender" characters on the ground that they were either too stereotypical or you couldn’t tell they were of a different gender (I think in the last thread some posters would actually complain about both), which I find priggish at best, disingenuous at worst.

As for romantic relationship between pcs, they’re not prohibited, it’s just that players in our group often find them awkward* so they rarely happen (npcs are fair game though). See the difference?

* Which is odd when I think of it, because many people I’ve gamed with were quite uninhibited or downright promiscuous IRL.


If you want ironic, I would readily allow all sorts of crossgenderisms and kinky in-game sex but I would have a hard time with furry pcs. *They* freak me out. Big time.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Jan 4, 2009)

> As for romantic relationship between pcs, they’re not prohibited, it’s just that players in our group often find them awkward* so they rarely happen (npcs are fair game though). See the difference?
> 
> * Which is odd when I think of it, because many people I’ve gamed with were quite uninhibited or downright promiscuous IRL.




Despite my admission that I play a lot of cross-gendered PCs, I've only hinted at one such possibility in 30+ years of gaming.

As for promiscuous gamers?

I do know a bunch who are- all pagans- most of the rest are pretty mainstream.  Even the guy who frequented strip clubs and dropped $400+ on a some evenings has settled down to wedded bliss.


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## Aeolius (Jan 4, 2009)

None of the above. 

If a player wants to play a character of the opposite gender, I let them. Simple as that. No issue whatsoever.

As a DM, I "play" all of the NPCs, including several recurring characters. Many are hags and thus are female. Therefore, in essence, I am "playing" female characters.


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## Wombat (Jan 4, 2009)

I start this from the position that I am a GM, first and foremost.  As such, I _*have *_to play opposite-gender characters fairly regularly.  If the world was all-male, it would get boring really, really fast...

As a player, I usually play male characters, but far from exclusively.  One of my favourite characters was female.  

I have had games where men have played women, women have played men, and no one really worries about it.  If you can pretend to be an alien lifeform, you can pretend to be the opposite gender.  I just ask that such characters be characters, not caricatures.


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## Aus_Snow (Jan 4, 2009)

As a GM, no problems at all. As a player, no problems at all.

People should play what they want to play, within the limits of the setting, and in line with the setting's themes and so on.

I don't believe it needs to be any more complicated than that.


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## Rechan (Jan 4, 2009)

Teflon Billy said:


> Wow.  I thought I had a poor understanding of the fairer sex, but I never thought they were on par with 6-legged, poisonous intelligent insects



Tri-keen are poisonous?


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## S'mon (Jan 4, 2009)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> Personally, I've never experienced the Uncanny Valley effect, it simply isn't an issue for me.




Unless the male player is dressing in women's clothing and putting on a high-pitched voice, I can't imagine an Uncanny Valley effect in an RPG.


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## S'mon (Jan 4, 2009)

Aeolius said:


> None of the above.
> 
> If a player wants to play a character of the opposite gender, I let them. Simple as that. No issue whatsoever.
> 
> As a DM, I "play" all of the NPCs, including several recurring characters. Many are hags and thus are female. Therefore, in essence, I am "playing" female characters.




All your female NPCs are hags, but you have no issue whatsoever?


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## Aeolius (Jan 4, 2009)

S'mon said:


> All your female NPCs are hags, but you have no issue whatsoever?




I said "many"... not all.  As for having issues.... weeeeeellll


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## S'mon (Jan 4, 2009)

Aeolius said:


> I said "many"... not all.  As for having issues.... weeeeeellll




"Many are hags, and thus are female" - but are there any _non-hag female NPCs?!_


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## Aeolius (Jan 4, 2009)

S'mon said:


> "Many are hags, and thus are female" - but are there any _non-hag female NPCs?!_




Recent non-hag female NPCs include a malenti captain of the guard, a half-troll sea elf witch, a mechanatrix (though she was born from a construct inhabited by the ghost of a hag), and a shoal halfling scout.

Recent hag NPCs include the undead shrunken head of a shellycoat (greenhag), a reef hag (parthenogenetically born offspring of a sea hag), and a spirit hag (spectral hag that inhabits the dreams of those she knew in life).


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## Vancian Magic (Jan 4, 2009)

I think it's fine.  Really, as long as everyone in the group is mature (mentally mostly) enough to handle it, what's the problem?  I wholeheartedly encourage it if people are inclined, and I play about 50/50 male and female characters myself depending on the game and the opportunities it'd provide.


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## mhacdebhandia (Jan 4, 2009)

The poll doesn't include my position:

"I don't care about the gender of your character."

That's not strictly true. I know a gamer who always plays ridiculously over-sexualised female characters, seemingly because he gets off on that in some way. Technically, I won't play with him because he plays cross-gender characters - but, specifically, it's because he plays cross-gender characters in a *creepy* way, so practically speaking I won't play with him because he's unpleasant to play with, not because his characters are female.

The best game of _D&D_ I ever played included a female sorceress played by a male friend of mine. The next d20 game I played in after that included a female spellcaster played by a guy. The last _GURPS_ game I played in started off with a female character played by a guy, though he had to drop out after a while. It has never been an issue for the people with whom I game, probably because I game with really good players.


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## Vyvyan Basterd (Jan 4, 2009)

mhacdebhandia said:


> I know a gamer who always plays ridiculously over-sexualised female characters, seemingly because he gets off on that in some way. Technically, I won't play with him because he plays cross-gender characters - but, specifically, it's because he plays cross-gender characters in a *creepy* way, so practically speaking I won't play with him because he's unpleasant to play with, not because his characters are female.




Yep. I wouldn't play with anyone who played their PC in a creepy sexual way, whether they played cross-gender or same gender.


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## Wulf Ratbane (Jan 4, 2009)

S'mon said:


> "Many are hags, and thus are female" - but are there any _non-hag female NPCs?!_




In addition to Old Crone, my repertoire also includes Slutty Barmaid.

And Old Barmaid.

And very occasionally, Slutty Old Crone.


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## Aeolius (Jan 4, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> In addition to Old Crone, my repertoire also includes Slutty Barmaid. And Old Barmaid. And very occasionally, Slutty Old Crone.




Have you been rolling on the Random Prostitute Encounter Table in the 1e DMG again?


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## orsal (Jan 5, 2009)

I note that most posters in this thread, including the OP, are referring to gender (cultural categories) rather than sex (biological categories). So let's go with that.

What gender categories mean -- what attributes or social roles are considered masculine or feminine -- depend on the culture. Another cultural variable, closely related, is how men and women are treated. A lot of gamers like their gameworld to mirror their real-world culture, which in my part of the world is unusually egalitarian. In most societies, past and present, gender is much more determinative of a person's social roles than in contemporary North America. How determinative is it in your campaign?

D&D is inspired my a melange of settings, some historic and some fantasy. In all the historic cases, and most of the fantasy cases, PC-type roles are men's work. Which doesn't mean that you don't find women in them, just that women aren't the norm. The treatment of a woman who chooses to don armour and go hunt monsters can vary from the scandalous ("don't let a lady turn out that way!") to remarkable (think of how Joan of Arc's mystique was partly due to the oddity of her femininity).

I like campaign world's to mirror this, because it makes gender a more meaningful character attribute, a more substantial part of the character concept. It provides options for character backstories: perhaps she became an adventurer, working on the margins of civilized society, to escape the uninspiring roles that her culture assigned her. It can affect social encounters: what happens if the people the adventurers have to deal with do not accept a woman in that role? Or, to go the opposite way, if she does achieve renown, there's a Joan of Arc dimension to her celebrity.

If you go this way, I'm strongly opposed to restricting character gender or sex according to player gender or sex. If a character concept fits your game, then all players should have the same option to play it. Why shouldn't I be allowed to play a character based on Joan of Arc, or my sister one based on Conan? Count we with the "neither encourage nor discourage" camp.

I'd say about two-thirds of my characters are male. But that's not because I'm male. It's because I think of male as the default for adventurers. A paladin who is female is a female paladin, while a paladin who is male is simply a paladin, sex/gender unremarkable. I like female PCs to be the exception. But I also like them to exist, and from time to time I want to play one, just because I like to try the full range of options. I've made characters of all races, all classes, all alignments, why not both genders?


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## Gilladian (Jan 5, 2009)

As DM, of course I play both roles frequently. 

For my players, I neither encourage nor discourage the playing of opposite/different roles. I've had a few people play opposite. I've also had gay players play straight characters, and vice versa. But not very often in any of these circumstances. I've been surprised that most players want to play their own gender/orieintation, but it is what they choose... and then they vary their race widely...


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## Dannyalcatraz (Jan 5, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> In addition to Old Crone, my repertoire also includes Slutty Barmaid.
> 
> And Old Barmaid.
> 
> And very occasionally, Slutty Old Crone.




What, no Slutty Old Barmaid?


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## Wulf Ratbane (Jan 5, 2009)

Dannyalcatraz said:


> What, no Slutty Old Barmaid?




Adventurers only want for information, sex, and ale. 

What kind of a DM would I be if I put all their needs into one NPC?


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## Dannyalcatraz (Jan 5, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> Adventurers only want for information, sex, and ale.
> 
> What kind of a DM would I be if I put all their needs into one NPC?




Economical?


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## Lurks-no-More (Jan 7, 2009)

"None of the above", since the poll didn't have an option for "I neither oppose or encourage this. If you're pretending to be an elf, does it matter if it's a he- or she-elf?"


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## hopeless (Jan 7, 2009)

*Playing a character os opposite gender*

Hmm the first I can remember was an npc cleric named Vashalla, initially it was a spare character that was passed onto a female player before I lost my mage/rogue character and her player wanted to play a ranger with a jaguar animal companion.

After Vashalla I ran Bridget Anne d'summerville based on a certain Joss Whedon series who was a paladin that ended up being dragonbreathed to death in the mire of dead men.

Vashalla was slain when the dragon who captured her was conveniently small enough for a 20' fireball to destroy the bag she was being held in with another captive.

Currently running a female halfling sorceror but otherwise I guess it was more due to the miniature i used in two of these cases, if they hadn't sent me a female miniature maybe I wouldn't have run such a character.


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## Mr. Wilson (Jan 8, 2009)

IRL I'm a hetrosexual male.

Of the last three characters I've played, one was a tomboy female Warlord, one was a bawdy human male fighter, and one was a deeply in the closest Ventrue male professor (in V:TM).

I got over that whole gender issue the second I realized I had to play females if I was going to DM a realistic world.

It's just a role in a game.


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## Amphimir Míriel (Jan 8, 2009)

Some 10-15 years ago, I banned players from creating characters of the opposite gender. At that point I'd had too many nerdy guys badly playing slutty elfs.

Nowadays, I play with adults my own age and we feel a lot more confident about both our roleplaying abilities and the maturity of the entire group, so I don't ban it anymore...

...which is ironic because now one of our female players (my best friend's wife) has decided she wants to play a slutty tiefling swordmistress eek

Oh, well... this is going to be interesting


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## Halivar (Jan 8, 2009)

Amphimir Míriel said:


> she wants to play a slutty tiefling swordmistress eek



So... she's going to be... ahem... "horny"? *cough*

Thanks, guys, I'll be here all week. Try the veal!


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## mhacdebhandia (Jan 8, 2009)

Kzach said:


> This point actually helps me a lot. I 'get' why someone would play a female character or evil character now. It's just a role, not an extension of themselves. Just a character with no real connection to it other than to play a game.



Yeah, I guess so. I care about my characters, but I care about them the same way I care about characters in television - I don't pretend to *be* them, I'm simply engaged by their story. It's one of the reasons I'm happy to play characters that I would hate to meet and absolutely could never be like - the story of their lives, as steered by my choices in play, can be really interesting even if they fail, or do horrible things, or whatever.

It's also why I'm not particularly bothered if my character fails at what they're trying to do - *they* care deeply about success, but I'm not them, and if their failure is entertaining that's great for me too.


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## avin (Jan 8, 2009)

This again? *sigh*

Roleplaying other gender in a mature way is just fine for me.


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## Desdichado (Jan 8, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> This came up in one of these threads from years past:
> 
> Acting like something that does not exist, no matter how alien, is easier than pretending to be an otherwise mundane member of the opposite sex, because we _KNOW _what someone of the opposite sex is "supposed" to be like. We have a frame of reference to judge your performance by.
> 
> ...



That's not actually the part of Treebore's post that weirds me out.  The fact that he rather blithely talks about people who are so socially inept as to see women as mysterious as poisonous psionic insect people is what weirds me out.


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## Desdichado (Jan 8, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> In addition to Old Crone, my repertoire also includes Slutty Barmaid.
> 
> And Old Barmaid.
> 
> And very occasionally, Slutty Old Crone.



I've really been stretching my cross-gender roleplaying chops as a DM when the players all made a trip to the Lost City of Naked Amazon Hotties Who Ride Dinosaurs.


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## Oni (Jan 9, 2009)

Wulf Ratbane said:


> This came up in one of these threads from years past:
> 
> Acting like something that does not exist, no matter how alien, is easier than pretending to be an otherwise mundane member of the opposite sex, because we _KNOW _what someone of the opposite sex is "supposed" to be like. We have a frame of reference to judge your performance by.
> 
> ...




Wait so the better you are at playing the opposite gender the weirder it is? (Assuming you don't reach the point of being indistinguishable from the real thing.)


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## pawsplay (Jan 9, 2009)

Amphimir Míriel said:


> ...which is ironic because now one of our female players (my best friend's wife) has decided she wants to play a slutty tiefling swordmistress eek
> 
> Oh, well... this is going to be interesting




If I had known it was going to be that kind of party...


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## pawsplay (Jan 9, 2009)

Rechan said:


> A thought occurs to me:
> 
> I suspect some women cross-gender RPers might feel more comfortable doing manly things like killing and action in a more manly persona.
> 
> Or, they could just want to avoid PCs and NPCs hitting on their female characters.




That's how you can spot female players on MMOs... men playing women will say, "It's none of your business if I'm a man or woman in real life. I have no interest in being hit on." Women will say, "I am a male truck driver with a tattoo of Jenny McCarthy tattooed on my flabby, unattractive arm."

Just kidding. Mostly.


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## ProfessorCirno (Jan 9, 2009)

Well, the name I - a heterosexual human male - chose for myself is that of a female ice fairy from a Japanese doujin game series.

So uh.

Yeah.

Edit: As for "How to play a female character," you don't know how.  I don't care what your gender is.  If you want to find a problem with the way someone is playing a character, you will.  No matter _their_ gender.  To quote Annie Carlson:

"[On women on the internet]Or many just don't join and go HAY EVERYONE I HAVE A VAGINA, so you don't even know they're female.  I was on a message board once for a full year and everyone assumed I was a dude because I had a Brak avatar and didn't go HELLO GOSH DARN I AM HAVIN MY PERIOD. We all have our own presumptions about gender and none of them are fully right for anyone."


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## S'mon (Jan 9, 2009)

I know my wife when she plays D&D much prefers playing a male character.  Her female PCs behave like real people and shrink from danger.  Her male PCs charge in and hack it to death.


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## Dinkeldog (Jan 9, 2009)

Okay, everyone.  Let's try to keep things civil and the thread can continue.  Remember that any stereotype is dehumanizing.


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## Oni (Jan 9, 2009)

ProfessorCirno said:


> Well, the name I - a heterosexual human male - chose for myself is that of a female ice fairy from a Japanese doujin game series.
> 
> So uh.
> 
> Yeah.




I, for one, am shocked to find out that you're not an ice fairy. O_O


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## Alikar (Jan 9, 2009)

Oni said:


> I, for one, am shocked to find out that you're not an ice fairy. O_O




Wait your not really an Oni either! *sad panda*


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