# Rest in Peace, Edena of Neith



## William Ronald (Jan 15, 2014)

I have some sad news for long time members of EN World, the Wizards of the Coast message board, and several other message boards.  I have learned that Terry, better known online as Edena of Neith or Edelaith, is dead.
This is the main body of what I sent one of the administrator’s at EN World on Tuesday morning when I learned of Terry’s passing.  

I believe that I was likely the last person to maintain contact with Terry, aka Edena of Neith.  In the past year and a half, his Dad has died and his mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  Terry's health continued to get worse.

I last spoke to him about a week ago and he was extremely depressed about his mother and his own health.  I told him that I would keep in touch, as I think it is important to make sure that people who are suffering do not feel isolated.  I also advised him on a  few places to check on for support.

The past few times I called, the phone rang and ended with a busy signal.  Last night, I asked the police in Englewood, Florida to do a wellness check on Terry and his Mom.  An officer told me that there was an investigation and could not comment, although they believed the house was empty.

This morning, another officer called.  He said that there was no easy way to say this but that Terry was dead and that his mother was in a rehabilitation facility.  Considering Terry's depression, I fear that he took his own life.  The officer did not speculate on the cause of death.  I asked if his brothers in Michigan were contacted. The officer confirmed that they were contacted.


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## nerfherder (Jan 15, 2014)

RIP Edena.  I'll miss your enthusiastic and sometimes poetic posts.


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## William Ronald (Jan 15, 2014)

*Some reflections on a friend*

I first meet Terry online via an online game at EN World, The Third Industrial Revolution, set primarily on the World of Greyhawk, but involving other TSR settings as well.   These were part of a series of games known as Industrial Revolutions, or IRs, that posited what might happen in a magical world if an industrial revolution began.(See links to that thread and a few others at the end of this post.)
The game involved players in multiple countries, who ran countries and characters dealing with a rapidly changing world.  It was a great deal of fun, and allowed people to have extensive role play and battles on a huge scale.  During this time, I communicated frequently with Terry, including filling in as a moderator before the game to help people answer questions when he said he was sick.  During this time, he indicated that his health was quite frail.

I later learned that Terry had a series of illnesses and accidents from childhood onwards that greatly weakened his strength and stamina.  He often said that he felt tired and his eyesight was bad.  These comments foreshadowed problems in his later years.

Over time, Terry had become disappointed with the split in the Dungeons and Dragons role playing community, even starting a D&D Army thread urging for tolerance and understanding.

Terry was often considered eccentric, perhaps because of the obsessive compulsive disorder and depression issues that he struggled in during his life, his health problems and issues that he often hid from others.  He enjoyed gaming for many years but ultimately was alienated from it by what he considered poor treatment by some of his fellow gamers.  

My friend’s writing style was often verbose and wandering by modern standards.  (It was sometimes mocked in a few places, including by someone who tried badly to imitate his style.) His tone could range from deadly serious to incredibly light and playful.  Sometimes, Terry would post a question on a message board just to get a response or take a position contrary to others to get an argument.  He believed that debate was important, but also seemed to take a pleasure at times out of making what might seem to be a strange statement and starting a huge discussion on it.

One thing that annoyed some people about Terry was his claim that Edena of Neith was a 653rd level character.  I should let you know that most of these levels were honorary and had no effect.  He confided that Edena would have compared with a character like Elminster in the Forgotten Realms, a setting that he loved. (He guessed Edena would be a high level cleric/wizard, perhaps comparable to Elminster or at most Larloch. So perhaps this character somewhere between 32-40 levels total, with meaningless levels assigned to him to kind of keep track of what games he played in.  He admitted that he was often amused by how people reacted to the claims of a 653rd level character as if he had violated a serious law. I think he enjoyed some of the battles with others over it.) He claimed to have played Edena with Ed Greenwood as a GM, as Edena wanted to become a Chosen of Mystra.  No, Terry sought this for his character not for love of power, love of magic, or even love of a goddess.  Rather, Terry said that in game, he was told that Alustriel could only fall in love with someone who truly understood her.  Only a chosen of Mystra could understand a chosen of Mystra.   I understand from Terry that story line was never played out, and he gave his thoughts as to possible endings for it – including some that were quite depressing.

Terry also said that the late E. Gary Gygax  signed a character sheet of his, saying that as long as people are happy in a game, that is what matters most in the hobby.  I smiled when I heard this, not knowing if it was true or not as I agree with the sentiment.

Due to some of the response of fellow gamers, Terry gradually lost interest in gaming message board sites. He tended to see the worst possible out comes in things, although he was correct years ago in worrying about the future of  Dragon and Dungeon magazines.  At times, he said that too many gamers were ill mannered and more concerned about power than a sense of wonder.  While I disagreed with several of his conclusions, I can understand how he came to them.  Often, he felt that he did not fit in with a  group and at times was asked to leave. On one occasion, a GM at an RPGA Living City event took over his character and had the character abused. (No charm persons or anything like that.  It seemed Terry just ran afoul of  a bizarre GM who seemed to want to live out a bizarre fantasy involving abusing a character.) Terry chose to ignore it, and I think he would have been better off filing a formal complaint – as he soon became a punchline, he said, with many in Living City.  

I spent years talking to Terry on the phone. Our plans to meet up never worked out, so I wonder if Terry was reluctant. Still, I kept in touch with him. It is very easy for some people to become isolated in our society, and Terry seemed very vulnerable to this.

In time, Terry and his parents moved from suburban Detroit to Southwest Florida.   Before this, there was a deep divide in his family and afterwards, he seldom spoke to his brothers.  His father’s prostate cancer, arrested for a time, grew worse.  His mother fought heart problems, breast cancer and colon cancer.  All this time, the pain from a serious car accident that weakened Terry and damaged his gastrointestinal tract grew worse.  Terry’s eyes grew worse and I learned that he could barely read any longer, which must have been a torture for a man who loved books. He was already crippled by the pain, unable to work, before he left Michigan. In the past few years, he said that he longed for the days when he was healthier.

Over time, Terry and I talked about gaming, the environment, current events, politics and literature. He was interested in many things and was well informed in many areas.  I think that our discussions helped buoy his spirits and he said it helped to have friends who listened. However, Terry said that he lost contact with people over time.  Some friends passed away or move on from him.  I urged him to take advantage of resources in his community to help him and his family with the problems that they faced, including his depression.  I am not sure if he ever followed through on my advice but I felt that I should try to give him what help I could. (I urge anyone who is facing depression or other mental health issues to seek help.   Also, if you know anyone facing these issues, please try to have that person seek help.)

I chose to stand by Terry as a friend, and I believe that I am better for it even as I mourn him.  If you chose to remember Terry, I urge you to try to see the good in him and others. If you wish to act in some way to honor Terry’s memory, I  know that the environment, health care, literacy and pets were things that mattered to him.  Perhaps one thing that we call all do is to be kind to the person who seems a little eccentric and welcome him or her.  In the end, I think we have to remember that we are all human and try to treat each other with respect and compassion.  It is easy to mock or hate others.  It takes more effort to see the good in others and accept them as fellow human beings and friends.  Yet I think that is a better path than hating others for being odd or different.  So, rest in peace, Terry. May your soul find the peace that eluded you in your life.  Farewell, till we meet again in a place where no shadow falls and there is no grief nor sorrow  nor pain but only peace.

Some threads involving Edena of Neith:
The True Edena of Neith -- The True Edena of Neith --   

Complete Transcripts of the 1st and 2nd IR 

The Third Gnomish Industrial Revolution 

The 5th IR Thread (currently in stasis) 

D&D’s Army 

The Player from Hell


How should 4E Deal With the Power of Fire?


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## Morrus (Jan 15, 2014)

That's so sad.  Poor Edena.


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## Deset Gled (Jan 15, 2014)

That's very sad.  Edena is definitely someone I will remember.


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## Piratecat (Jan 15, 2014)

I never met anyone else like him, and I mean that in the best way. He's missed.


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## William Ronald (Jan 15, 2014)

Piratecat said:


> I never met anyone else like him, and I mean that in the best way. He's missed.





Same here.  I have known many people in my life and Terry was one of a kind.  I remember at the first ENnie Awards, you and I looked for him as he promised to be there.  It turns out he missed Gen Con that year entirely.

I am trying to let a few people who knew Terry learn about his passing.


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## Klaus (Jan 15, 2014)

Edena was one of those EN World fixtures that kind of made the place what it is -- what is a messageboard but the collective of its members? He was definitely passionate about the hobby, and his imagination ran rampant, as anyone could see from his extensive posts. He loved words, and worlds.

Rest In Peace, Terry.


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## francisca (Jan 15, 2014)

Poor guy.  

Rest in Peace, Edena.


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## Eridanis (Jan 15, 2014)

That's a shame. We need to enjoy the quirky and independent-minded while we can. I hope he has found peace.


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## Janx (Jan 15, 2014)

I do remember Edena's often quite lengthy posts.  Usually well written, and reasonably thought out.

He was a contributing member of the EN World community, so it is a loss to all of us that he is passed.


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## Mark CMG (Jan 15, 2014)

My condolences to his family and friends.


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## delericho (Jan 15, 2014)

> Rest in Peace, Edena of Neith




Amen.


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## Dioltach (Jan 15, 2014)

I only knew him as a member of these forums, but I respected and enjoyed his posts. A very sad occasion.


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## Rune (Jan 15, 2014)

Damn.  His absence has been and will be felt by those of us who remember. 

Be at peace, Edena.


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## Greg K (Jan 15, 2014)

R.I.P.  Edena


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## diaglo (Jan 16, 2014)

certainly will miss his posts. they always left me in wonder.

diaglo " never had Edena on ignore " Ooi


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## TarionzCousin (Jan 16, 2014)

William Ronald said:


> Some threads involving Edena of Neith:
> 
> The True Edena of Neith --
> 
> ...



Thanks for posting these. He was a unique and kind individual. He will be missed.


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## JRRNeiklot (Jan 16, 2014)

I enjoyed his posts.  Rest in peace.


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## Dannyalcatraz (Jan 16, 2014)

Damn.


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## Wolf72 (Jan 16, 2014)

Janx said:


> I do remember Edena's often quite lengthy posts.  Usually well written, and reasonably thought out.
> 
> He was a contributing member of the EN World community, so it is a loss to all of us that he is passed.




same

Wolf72


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## William Ronald (Jan 16, 2014)

*Contacting old friends*

I took some time to look at some of Terry's posts and contacted a few members who have not been active of late, so that they might come here and post.  Thank all of you for your kind words.


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## Wycen (Jan 16, 2014)

Rest in peace Edena of Neith.


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## Henry (Jan 16, 2014)

@Morrus;I really, really hope that's not the circumstance around his death - that he shoudl feel that much truly alone. I hope he has peace now in any case.

Any time I saw his new threads, No matter what I knew it was going to be interesting.

To crib from the last Indy Jones movie, "We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away." To think back on Angelsboi, Chairman Kaga, Gary Gygax, now Edena (and I know I'm missing people)... It's kind of hard to believe sometimes.


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## William Ronald (Jan 16, 2014)

Henry said:


> @Morrus;I really, really hope that's not the circumstance around his death - that he shoudl feel that much truly alone. I hope he has peace now in any case.
> 
> Any time I saw his new threads, No matter what I knew it was going to be interesting.
> 
> To crib from the last Indy Jones movie, "We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away." To think back on Angelsboi, Chairman Kaga, Gary Gygax, now Edena (and I know I'm missing people)... It's kind of hard to believe sometimes.




Henry it is hard to believe that they are gone.  I really did not get many details from the police when they responded to my request for a wellness check. I know that Terry was very distraught with his own declining health and that of his mother.


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## MerakSpielman (Jan 16, 2014)

Paying my respects. I had many exchanges with Edena on various forums, and I am greatly saddened by his passing.

During one of the hurricanes in Florida, years ago, he was desperate for some medicine that his dog needed. Or maybe it was in the aftermath, and the vet was closed, I don't remember the details. But he was concerned enough that he took the, for him, extraordinary step of posting his mailing address so that anybody who had the medication could send it to him. 

For a very private and shy man, I found it striking at the time that his concern for his dog would outweigh his normal fears. 

He also spoke several times about how, of all his family, he was the least suited (due to his own health issues) to actually help his ailing parents, but he was also the only one willing to drop everything and move to Florida to help them. 

That's how I want to remember him -- for his caring and willingness to help those he loved.

Rest in peace.


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## Scrivener of Doom (Jan 16, 2014)

I can't help but think as I read the first post, in particular, at how often I have been completely inconsiderate of the possible state of others when I have made various posts, not so much here but on forums where politics, in particular, are discussed.

I am sad to read of his man's lonely end. It reminds me to be more thankful for my family and friends, and more positive and encouraging in my interactions with others online.

One of the things that I really liked about these boards when I first joined in 1999 under a different name was the "Eric's Grandmother Rule" and what it meant in terms of assuring a certain style of interaction. Maybe there needs to be an "Edena's Rule": a reminder that sometimes people who post here are really hurting inside.

RIP.


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## Darkness (Jan 16, 2014)

That's terrible news. Rest in peace, bro. I'll miss you a lot.


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## Mustrum_Ridcully (Jan 16, 2014)

This is sad to hear.


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## William Ronald (Jan 16, 2014)

Scrivener of Doom said:


> I can't help but think as I read the first post, in particular, at how often I have been completely inconsiderate of the possible state of others when I have made various posts, not so much here but on forums where politics, in particular, are discussed.
> 
> I am sad to read of his man's lonely end. It reminds me to be more thankful for my family and friends, and more positive and encouraging in my interactions with others online.
> 
> ...




We seldom know what others are going through in their private lives.  We all have our struggles. I think that we do have to be considerate of each other.

Later today, I am going to GM a game for Pathfinder Society.  I will think about Terry while I run it.


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## dogoftheunderworld (Jan 16, 2014)

Rest in Peace, Terry. Long live Edena of Neith.

 [MENTION=21239]william[/MENTION] Roland - thank you for being a true friend.


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## isidorus (Jan 16, 2014)

Rest in peace  Edena of Neith


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## Lwaxy (Jan 17, 2014)

Farewell, may your next life be filled with more adventure and less judgmental people.


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## Grazzt (Jan 19, 2014)

R.I.P. Edena


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## Imhotepthewise (Jan 19, 2014)

peace to Terry and prayers for him, his dad, and, especially, his mom, who is now alone.


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## Creamsteak (May 16, 2014)

Sorry he has passed. I still remember a lot of my early time on the message boards. I'm logging in just to respond to this thread. I haven't been active myself in a long time. His games were definitely influential. For whatever reason, this morning, I decided to google Edena to see if anything had transpired in the past few years.


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## William Ronald (May 16, 2014)

Creamsteak said:


> Sorry he has passed. I still remember a lot of my early time on the message boards. I'm logging in just to respond to this thread. I haven't been active myself in a long time. His games were definitely influential. For whatever reason, this morning, I decided to google Edena to see if anything had transpired in the past few years.




Creamsteak, good to see you but I wished that it was under better circumstances.  I have hear nothing from Edena's family.

I like to think that the good that we do lives on afterwards.  I had a lot of fun with the games here and talking with him.  May he rest in peace and may all of us here be well.


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## Velaria (May 23, 2015)

Well over a year and I just now find out of this, I have known edena for quite a while, dating back to the tsr chat room days. before the move to the emporium and wizards of the coast took over. This breaks my heart as I always loved Terry, he and I had a relationship in rp that was interesting to say the least. I remember his jovial greetings always warm and friendly and even when people would get on to him we would be speaking in IMs and he would still be light of heart. I hate that I have lost contact with so many of my old friends. Edena was one of the people that made life bearable for me during a very hard time.May you rest in peace ohh holy one and know the angel of darkness weeps for you this day.


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## Scott DeWar (May 23, 2015)

Well, of all the thread necromancy, I would rate this as the top one. Many, as you probably have seen morn for his passing.


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## William Ronald (May 24, 2015)

Velaria said:


> Well over a year and I just now find out of this, I have known edena for quite a while, dating back to the tsr chat room days. before the move to the emporium and wizards of the coast took over. This breaks my heart as I always loved Terry, he and I had a relationship in rp that was interesting to say the least. I remember his jovial greetings always warm and friendly and even when people would get on to him we would be speaking in IMs and he would still be light of heart. I hate that I have lost contact with so many of my old friends. Edena was one of the people that made life bearable for me during a very hard time.May you rest in peace ohh holy one and know the angel of darkness weeps for you this day.




It is thread necromancy, but perhaps we can learn to value each other, regardless of our differences.

I have not heard anything from his family, so I suspect that our community and Circvs Maximus are really the only memorial he had.


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## Velaria (May 24, 2015)

I apologize for the necromancy, but I have been out of touch for a while as you can see. Forgive me this one time if you will * smiles*


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## Scott DeWar (May 24, 2015)

Velaria said:


> I apologize for the necromancy, but I have been out of touch for a while as you can see. Forgive me this one time if you will * smiles*




Oh no! You guys misunderstand! I meant no disrespect at all!

I guess it was a back handed way of saying I approve wholly of this type of necromancy. no apologies are necessary


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## Wolf72 (May 26, 2015)

DM Magic said:


> Well, crap on a stick. I always appreciated, though never totally understood, Edena and his place both here and at Circvs Maximvs. And when I saw this thread, I thought it had just happened. When I realized that this took place in January of 2014, it made me feel horrible for not staying in better touch with this community over the years.




Life happens, staying consistent in an on-line community can be hard.


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