# Gaming catchphrases, expressions, and idioms--what are yours?



## Psion

There's a paladin in my group that detects evil on every thing he possibly can.

The group calls him "palanoid."




Does anyone else have any amusing game related terminology?


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## JohnClark

We once had our cleric talking to some dwarven bard, and he wasn't to quick on the ball, so one of the other players was wispering to him what to say. So the cleric is basically sitting there, the guy whispers and he repeats it verbatim. This went on for a few minutes until at one point the guy whispered something like "back off some", which the cleric heard, and quickly regergitated as "bad du bum". He said it with a completely straight face, while the whole rest of the group burst out laughing. He didn't get it until we explained it to him, now whenever he's talking to someone we're all whispering "bad du bum".


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## gamecat

"Oh well. He's gone. More XP for us"

The standard OOC response to an explosive argument or character death.


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## Berk

We have one character that dies in my group almost every adventure. So we call him Kenny.


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## Crothian

"Stew!!"

About 4 years the group is investigating the Evil Baron's Castle.  We sneak through the kitchen, and the Ranger asks "What's cooking in the firepit."  "Stew" the DM answers.  We explore and kill some gaurds and sneak back through the kitchen. and the Cleric asks "Hey, what's cooking in the firepit?"  "Stew," the DM ansers.  More exploring, fine some clues, kill gaurds, back into the kitchen: "I go taste what's cooking on the firepit" says the rogue (me).  "It's a nice stew," answers the DM.  Wee finish exploreing the castle, defeat the Baron and walk through the kitch: "Hey, what's on the firepit?" asks the wizard.  "Stew" everyone says in unison.  So, now whenever someone misses a fact due to looking through books or otherwise distracted and asks a question the DM already answered we say, "Stew".  

That's one of ours, we have many.


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## starwolf

*CUT, EDIT, PASTE* 

An old standby in my old gaming circle. Usually for when the group was doing any standard tactics or pre-combat buff's. Or when going through any repetitive motions, or glossing over any non-story specific travel.


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## Barendd Nobeard

First heard by me in a *Living Greyhawk* event:

"Relate story" - to prevent repeating everything one character has just learned from the DM (while the _character_ is by him/herself (or communicating in a language no one else understands), but the _players_ are all right there listening), we'll just say "Relate story" instead of repeating everything.  Speeds up the game when you're tight on time (more a problem at cons than home games).


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## CWD

Crothian said:
			
		

> *"Stew!!"
> 
> About 4 years the group is investigating the Evil Baron's Castle.  We sneak through the kitchen, and the Ranger asks "What's cooking in the firepit."  "Stew" the DM answers.  We explore and kill some gaurds and sneak back through the kitchen. and the Cleric asks "Hey, what's cooking in the firepit?"  "Stew," the DM ansers.  More exploring, fine some clues, kill gaurds, back into the kitchen: "I go taste what's cooking on the firepit" says the rogue (me).  "It's a nice stew," answers the DM.  Wee finish exploreing the castle, defeat the Baron and walk through the kitch: "Hey, what's on the firepit?" asks the wizard.  "Stew" everyone says in unison.  So, now whenever someone misses a fact due to looking through books or otherwise distracted and asks a question the DM already answered we say, "Stew".
> 
> That's one of ours, we have many.    *




LOL!  My group has almost the same story.  It goes something like this:

DM (me):  You come across 10-foot square shack with a padlocked door.
Player #1:  Does it have any windows?
DM:  No, it doesn't have any windows.
Player #2 (reading her character sheet and not listening):  I wonder what's inside?  Are there any windows?
DM:  Sigh....  No.
Player #2:  I peek through the keyhole.
DM:  I already explained that its padlocked, there's no keyhole to look through.
Player #3 (reading his character sheet and half listening):  Padlock huh?  I smash a window and crawl inside.
DM:  Sigh.  OK, you smash a window and crawl inside...
Players 1&2:  ROTFLOL!

So now whenever someone isn't paying attention and asks me a question I already answered I always answer "No, it doesn't have any windows."


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## Aitch Eye

*"Whoa -- hey!"*

The party was undercover in a town that had been secretly taken over by a demon, and all the clergy and prominent citizens possessed. One of the characters was wandering around at night on a flying carpet with a ring that was a variation on a Wand of Wonder. He came across three guys who were levitating near the roof of a temple, trying to remove a body my character had stuffed down the chimney earlier in the evening (The demons had been turning people to wood and sacrificing them in temple fireplaces.).

He'd been wanting to do some testing on the ring, so he fired it at one of the guys, who disappeared. The others reacted, the PC ducked out of sight, and the guy reappeared in a different location and yelled "Whoa -- hey!" Stuff happened, the guy disappeared again, more stuff happened, he reappeared and yelled "Whoa -- hey!" Stuff, disappearance, stuff, reappearance and "Whoa -- hey!" And three more times. 

The DM had noticed us quietly laughing after the exclamations -- and trying not to laugh before them -- but it was only as he said it the seventh time that he realized what he'd been doing. He sort of half laughed/half cried, but felt obligated to continue it for the rest of the encounter. Since then we've shouted it out for NPCs on his behalf, when it seemed appropriate and we could get it in before he said "But he doesn't say...'"


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## Torx

"Half-Soldier"

Early in a campaign I ran, a barbarian who had just recently left his tribe entered a tavern in the first town he had ever visited.  He noticed a dwarf sitting at a table enjoying a mug of ale.  The barbarian saunters over and takes a seat opposite the dwarf and promptly offers to buy him another drink.  The dwarf's first inclination is to take the ale w/o asking questions, but curiosity gets the better part of him and he inquires as to what prompts this gift.  The barbarian is quick to reply how sorry he is to see a poor crippled half-soldier, and the ale is just his way of paying respect.  The dwarf of course took offense; the barbarian thought he had had his legs chopped off!


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## Heap Thaumaturgist

Rolling a "Happy".

For some reason we've always called a natural 20 a "Happy".  "Dude, I rolled a Happy."

Then there's:  "Small hands."

A friend of mine ran a paladin with a totally unnatural fear of goblins.  Nothing else.  Just goblins.  He attributed it to their small hands (grabbed from Austin Powers).  It was sort of silly, but it made for some interesting situations.  Now, even in regular conversation, if there's ever a joke or situation involving a totally irrational fear we shrug and say:  "Small hands."

And making a little crooked bunny ears with your hand and hopping it along in front of your body.  Hard to explain that one.

It started in game when the group's paladin was put on "watch".  The other PCs were lying in wait for an ambush and they were trying to think of a signal that the paladin could use to alert the party without being verbal.  They couldn't decide on anything until the player made the crooked bunny ears and hopped them in front of his chest and said:  "This means evil approacheth, okay?"

That one stuck outside of game too, for some reason, and if we're about to get into a difficult situation or a decidedly unsavory person we don't want to get stuck talking to his heading over somebody will do the ears.  

--HT


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## Cedric

Getting tired of explaining my routine to the DM for searching the room we'd just taken away from some baddies. I finally just started saying...I nuke the room!

Meaning, I search it thoroughly. This of course came from the fact that we were in the Navy Nuclear Power Program (class 9204!) which had a saying, You're nuking it! (think of the word smurf, we just substitute nuke).

It stuck, we used that phrase from then on.

Cedric


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## Shadowdancer

"Awarinating"

This came from our first "Cyberpunk" campaign. The skill that you use to keep from being ambushed is Awareness. But one of our players would always say "I'm awarinating" when he wanted to use that skill. So we all started saying it.

Now, we even use it in D&D and other games when we want to indicate to the DM that we are on guard against an ambush and trying to avoid being surprised.

"B-b-b-big!"

In our first D&D campaign, we were all pretty mercenary. Any time anyone would scout around by themself or look into a room that no one else could see into, we would have a DM pass us a note telling us what we saw rather than tell the whole group aloud.

In one dungeon, one of the players -- who in real life is very afraid of spiders -- eased open a door and peeked inside. The DM passed him a note telling him the room was full of spider webs, and a giant spider. As he read the note, the guy jumped.

One of the other players asked him, "What do you see?"

All the guy could stammer out was, "B-b-b-big."

So now, any time anyone looks into a room and it's occupied by a monster or monsters, that's how he lets the others know to get ready for possible combat: "B-b-b-big."


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## Moe Ronalds

this is my little sister's "catch phrase" that she plans to use once we start playing inquisitor (and I was the one that was dropped?) One of the other players is going to play an Arco-Flagellant character, and my sister's character and I are the ones who command his character. Anyway, my sister plans to say the command word over and over again, just so that the guy will end up killing something. All this trouble, JUSt so that she can say: You mister safety monkey have gone TOO far!


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## Shiv

Here's some of the more entertaining that I've actually catalogued over the years.  I know, I know.  Total geek.

-------------

"# to the forehead"
Used to denote damage dealt via a Magic Missile spell.  Magic Missile damage is ALWAYS to the forehead.

"# to the left lung"
Used to denote damage dealt via a sneak attack.  Other acceptable organ targets include spleen, liver, pancreas, and kidney.  Right lung, somehow, is not acceptable.

A$$ of Holding
A fictitious space where one stores all their really cool stuff, stuff that they don't actually have but may then refer to sarcastically.  DM:  “How are you getting through the triple-wizard-locked, triple-Symbol of Insanity door.”  Player: “I guess I reach into my A$$ of holding and get out my Mighty Staff of Wizard Unlocking and Sanity Restoring.”

Chair rails
The sure-fire sign that a particular room/corridor/dungeon/etc. is of high quality and worth the time and effort of brave and powerful adventurers.  Our group’s headquarters has chair rails.

Cluck
Colloquial term for a cleric.

"Could you go out for coffee?"
Request used as an attempt to remove the Paladin or other goody-two-shoes from the scene so that the rest of the party can be malicious and nasty.

Doom on a Stick
Phrase used to describe any person, item, place, or situation that is potentially amazingly deadly.  Especially poignant if the item in question is a magical staff, rod, or wand.  “A great wyrm?  Jeez, doom on a stick.”

Flight for Life
A cleric or Paladin imbued with the ability to fly.

"I look under a rock…"
Phrase used to denote that your character REALLY wants something.  Since the GM obviously is not going to award you the item in question for your spectacular role-playing, it becomes necessary to “look under a rock.”  The item in question may be one of various things, including XP, a spellbook, a Holy Sword, an important clue, etc.

"I stand nonchalantly by the wall."
Phrase indicating that your character is basically just staying out of the way and trying not to be noticed.

Monk-y
Adjective used to describe how a Monk acts.  Can be used to describe a Monk using special abilities in combat, prayer or meditation, or any general calm, rational behavior.  “The wizards are studying.  The cleric is praying.  The fighter is breaking camp.  What’s the monk doing?  Meditating.  You know, being monk-y.”

Tasty Cheese
A bit of lip-smacking fromage, the pursuit of which is referred to whenever a character has nothing particularly useful to contribute to a situation.  Often, the Tasty Cheese is pursued in three parts and is exemplified by the innocuous situation, “(insert NPC) will answer three questions.”  If one can’t think of anything better to ask, the three questions should be as follows:  “Do you have any cheese?”  “Is it tasty?”  “Can I have some?”

Thick Darkness
Any darkness, magical or otherwise, which (contrary to common sense) manages to be totally unaffected by any sort of light, magical or otherwise, or dispel attempts.

"You implode"
The ultimate death scenario.  The character is completely gone.  Nothing left to raise.  Generally utilized as a threat to get an annoying player to shut-up or calm down.


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## Holy Bovine

Psion said:
			
		

> *There's a paladin in my group that detects evil on every thing he possibly can.
> 
> The group calls him "palanoid."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Does anyone else have any amusing game related terminology? *




Rollplayers and Roleplayers  

I the group I play in (all guys with male charatcers) we have found that whenever anyone doesn't show up for a game his character is constanly referred to as 'she'.  Don't know why it happened (I think its because one of the PCs' names really sounds female) but now our DM signs off emails to attend as 'Be there or be female!'

Not really a catchphrase but I think we could convert it into a battlecry 

edit - Also in the campaign I ran whenever someone really started to tank on damage rolls (stuff like doing 8 points of damage with 4 Magic Missles or something) we would say that s/he was doing 'Monk Damage' tonight.  Couse the Monk player rarely hit anything in combat and broke double digits in damage only when he used a Ring of SHocking Grasp to add 1d8+1 damage to his 1d12+6 open hand attack.


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## Archangel

*Ranger*

In a campaign I played in, a sort or pseudo-1st/2nd edition game with heavy house rules, the DM had a very difficult perception check.  Basically, in order to notice anything (be it mouse or dragon), you needed to roll a 5 or 6 on a d6 (elves got a 4,5, or 6).  Well, he was also very fond of Rangers and one of their extra abilities was a that they got another number on the perception check (non-elves - 4,5 or 6; elves - 3,4,5 or 6).

Anyway, one of the players had forgotten that I was playing a ranger and when I noticed something on a roll of 4, he questioned it.  After explaining, he said, "all you had to say was Ranger".  So now, whenever a player questions a character's ability (because he did not realize it was class-based), the other player will look at him and say Ranger.

Also, on the low end of the maturity scale (and realize that the group is all 30+), whenever an 8 is rolled (esp. for initiative) someone will say "yer an 8" (laughter ensues - and yes I also partake in this humor, what can I say).


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## Clear Dragon

Lemming(s) - term for Paladin(s) (specifically those tied to an organized hierarchy). My CG Cleric (servant of the Goddess of Luck in the campaign) coined this one due paladin following orders without question.


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## toberane

"I search the room for experience."

A partiucularly useful phrase for when the combat is over and it appears that the DM may have temporarily forgotten to hand out XP.


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## Delemental

We have two from our Earthdawn campaign.

1. "Hit him with the flat of the lightsaber"

One of our former players was playing, essentially, a Jedi Knight (don't ask).  He had a 'lightsaber', which was actually a magical energy sword, but everyone just called it a lightsaber.  At one point, his character was getting in trouble because he kept killing his opponents.  So we get into combat, and he declares a subdual attack.

"How?" asks the GM.  "You're using a lightsaber."

"I hit him with the flat of the lightsaber," he replied.

We all had a good laugh over that.  Now we use the phrase all the time to refer to doing subdual attacks.

2. "Rock to hole vision"

At one point, all of the characters in the group has some form of astral sight (vision that allows you to see into the astral plane, useful for detecting magic and such in Earthdawn), either as a natural ability, or through talents, or magical items.  Everyone except one character, an elven archer.  We were in a wilderness area looking for the lair of some lizardmen-types, when we come across a large boulder.  One of the characters with natural astral vision rolls well enough to break the illusion, and sees that the boulder hides a small cave.  He alerts us, and immediately the rest of the party begins to activate their abilities, until all of us can see the cave - except, of course, our poor archer.  We tell him repeatedly that there's a cave there, he insists its a rock.  Finally, the player turns to the GM and says:

"I try to look at the boulder with rock-to-hole vision."

We now refer to all astral sight as "rock-to-hole vision."

3. "Rock farming"

Refers to the pursuits of anyone of dubious intellect.  Another reference to our Jedi player, who left the game.  He wasn't always the brightest; at one point, he'd been snatched up by a griffin, and was 400-500 feet in the air.  He couldn't understand why it was a bad idea to choke the griffin into unconsciousness - he thought it was clever because he wasn't going to kill the beast with his powers, avoiding the corruption that had been plaguing him.  Needless to say, he soon learned that there is a force more powerful than the Light Side or the Dark Side... gravity.
When the player left and the character retired, we decided that he'd gone home to take up rock farming.

4. "Overt operative"

I brought this one up running a game of Dragonstar.  I believe one of the characters had just made a particularly poor showing of some Move Silently rolls, so we decided this was his new prestige class.  It's the opposite of a covert operative; everything he does is blatantly obvious and loudly announced in a sing-song voice:  "I'm opening the lock!"  "I'm stealing the files!"  "I'm going to assassinate your leader!"  It hasn't quite hit common usage yet, but I like it, so I'm going to keep using it.

5. "Plan: Get 'em"

Refers to the usual adventurer tactics of charging a foe, any foe, head on and all at once.  Vague reference to the movie _Ghostbusters_: "That was your plan, Ray?  Get her?"  And used disparagingly by those characters who would like to see their companions use a little more forethought.  It started as a complaint about the Tactics skill in Earthdawn, which gives a bonus to attacks if a plan is followed.  Unfortunately, the skill doesn't specify it has to be a good plan, so "Get 'em!" still works.


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## Tsyr

We have a few...

1: You think it's a troglodite: Someone was trying to identify the footprints of a of a creature we were tracking, but they failed criticly... the DM told the character he was sure it was a troglodyte (It was a dire something or other... boar I think, but it's been a while)... every since then, "You think it's a troglodite" has been come or catch phrase for a critical failure... or anything else involving troglodite... for example, failing to read an old book: "You think it's a troglodite romance novel", or failing a listen check "You hear troglodites"

2: Lawful somethinghole: We used to have a player who, no matter what alignment he played, his characters were... well... yeah. We always called his character alignment the above... and it's sorta stayed with us, even though he moved away. 

3: Whatever you do, do NOT defile the altar: We had a player who played with us a handful of times... she didn't work out... We were in a dungeon, hunting down a goblinoid cult... We found an altar to the goblins god... said god's avatar attacked us... We had almost defeated him, when the newbie, for no reason she was ever able to explain, called out "I defile the altar!"... TPK.


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## Psion

Shiv said:
			
		

> *"You implode"
> The ultimate death scenario.  The character is completely gone.  Nothing left to raise.  Generally utilized as a threat to get an annoying player to shut-up or calm down. *




Yeah... I use the somewhat tamer "you explode" in this situation... primarily as a flashback to _Time Bandits_ where the uber powerful villain temporarily destroys minions he is annoyed at.


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## Stormwynd

I play a fighter/sorcerer (going for spellsword) in a campaign.  He doesn't wear armor but frequently ends up in melee, so one spell had been his constant mainstay: "I cast shield."

Now when we enounter danger someone frequently says "Dalin casts shield".

It has even made it into a drinking game proposed by another player.
Rule #1:  Take a drink whenever Dalin casts shield.


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## Piratecat

In Sagiro's campaign, we were on our third game when we killed a bunch of cultists. Out of nowhere, Tor (the fighter) announces, "I cut him open and suck all of the XP out of his XP gland."  It now has become a tradition after killing monsters to look for the XP gland where all of its experience is stored.

When Dr. Rictus (Tim) joined my game, we were all astonished by his rules knowledge. Sagiro's and mine is pretty good, but Dr. Rictus just blows us away. This was brought poignantly home when someone had to turn undead and without even thinking about it Tim said "Page 139."  He then had the good graces to look embarrassed, but it was too late. "Hey look!" someone said. "Push Tim's tummy and he spouts rules!"  Now, every time someone needs to look up or recite a rule, we refer to it as "Pushing Tim's tummy." Even better, one of our players (Blackjack) has no idea what most of the obscure rules are, so he refers to himself as the "anti-tummy" and answers rules question with elaborately incorrect answers.

We have a number of in-game sayings.  Rule One is "Never give the DM any ideas."  Rule Two is "Don't gloat before striking." (This came from a PC who had an enemy trapped and helpless. He gave a little gloating speech and swung - and fumbled. The enemy grabbed his dropped weapon, did a little gloating speech of his own - and fumbled.  Sad, really.)


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## Glaurung

"Suddenly, nothing happens"- a phrase often used by the DM when rolling encounter checks

"stanstone" -we had a DM named Stan for a while who always used stone in every building that was immune to any sort of physical or magical force. This nigh indestructible rock is referred to as stanstone

"there are no rocks in the forest" -we had a really vicious DM who gave us no breaks. I had a halfling slinger who ran out of slingstones while in the forest-this quote ensued and is used whenever the DM describes a patently ridiculous situation

"pink mist" -whenever an enemy or PC is so horribly slaughtered that nothing at all remains of him--as in the fighter pink-misted the orc.


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## jollyninja

a character of mine had been put in charge of the law enforcement of a city. of course the first thing he did was to make the party members special "constables" giving them the power to act as he would. the halfling rogue constantly refered to his job as "constabulating" or "constabulation" and it stuck. now every time we try to solve a mystery or aprehend a criminal, we are constabulating.


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## Holy Bovine

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *In Sagiro's campaign, we were on our third game when we killed a bunch of cultists. Out of nowhere, Tor (the fighter) announces, "I cut him open and suck all of the XP out of his XP gland."  It now has become a tradition after killing monsters to look for the XP gland where all of its experience is stored.
> 
> *





*gasp* *wheeze* *choke*


Oh, god - XP gland!



_ breaks down in hystyerical fits of laughter_


slluuuuuuurrrrrrrpppp!!!


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## Teflon Billy

When we rolled dice, and they landed askew (like halfway on a stack of paper, or sitting in a crack in the table) and we felt the number shown was unclear, the die was refered to as being "C0cked"

In recent years we have changed the *gender* of that term.

I'll leave it to you to decipher what term we use, but here is a hint: it still starts witht he same letter 

My group rules


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## Talath

1. The Ass Mantle

In my group, we often say demented and very wrong things (like most groups I imagine). But when one of us says something really wrong, then that player gets the Ass Mantle, because he is a huge ass and deserves a special mantle to show he is an ass. The Ass Mantle has a special calling ability, so when you say something really stupid, just snap your fingers.

2. The Bashing Light

In my group, we have a tendency to make hilarious and twisted comments about people who aren't in the immediate area. If we keep insulting that person long enough, we say the bashing light is indeed on. The joke comes from airplanes with seatbelt lights.

3. Thats What She Said.

Sometimes one of us says something which can be taken the wrong way (for example, "take that out of your mouth") and then one of us will say in response, "Thats what she said".

4. Where's the Paladin? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Back in a Basic Set D&D game, I was running Keep on the Borderlands. The fighter and the paladin (custom class for the player) were fighting it, and well, the minotaur threw the paladin out of the cave. At the same exact moment, one of the players at the camp said out loud "Where's the Paladin?" Suddenly, he heard the paladin yelling as he was thrown out.

There is probably more, but I'm too lazy to think of them.


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## Tewligan

Teflon Billy said:
			
		

> *When we rolled dice, and they landed askew (like halfway on a stack of paper, or sitting in a crack in the table) and we felt the number shown was unclear, the die was refered to as being "C0cked"
> 
> In recent years we have changed the gender of that term.
> 
> I'll leave it to you to decipher what term we use, but here is a hint: it still starts witht he same letter
> 
> My group rules *




Chickened?
(I know, I know...funny me.)


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## Zappo

Hm... we have those, but they are in Italian. Still...

...think about saying "Resurrectize" instead of "Resurrect".

Also, any direct damage spell is called a word which translates as "Shot", as in: "You have any shots left?"
Oh, and whenever my character has to describe an NPC, I always say (literally) "We're looking for someone made like this and that, have you seen him?"

Whenever we're in a situation where another PC is about to shoot/fireball/attack a mechanical or magical item, I often say "Don't do it, it may explode!", or "Stop, it will explode!" - this was developed because of a series of Cyberpunk games where we blew up countless cars, trucks, computers, and everything, everytime it took even minor damage. Like, I drive a truck through the desert, I fail my drive check, and bump into a sand dune; after a few minutes, the truck blows up in a big fireball. A car that was nearby subsequently blows up.

Another one is:
Player: "I enter the room with caution, care and attention".
DM: "You don't all fit into the room", or: "Ok, but Caution steps on a twig and gets noticed".

Whenever the situation is completely silent and we know something bad is about to happen, out Cyberpunk DM will make a windy noise, move his hand across the table, and say "A tumbleweed passes". Whether we are in a desert, in a city, or in a small hallway, it makes no difference.

Whenever the party is using excessive caution to explore something that I know is perfectly empty, the DM (me) often states "There is...", followed by something completely insane - like, 
Player: "I enter the room, moving silently and hiding in shadows, very carefully".
DM: "It's an empty 3x3 room".
Player: "Empty? I look carefully around"
DM: "Actually, there are two liches, a beholder, a great wyrm red dragon and three pit fiends. You can tell the beholder has 15 sorcerer levels".
Or,
Player: "I open the chest".
DM: "It's empty, except for some dust".
Player: "I search for a false bottom". (rolls)
DM: "Nothing".
Player: "I search some more". (rolls)
DM: "Nothing".
Player: "I take 20 and search very well".
DM: "In fact, there is a secret compartment with a long sword +5 vorpal keen flaming, a full plate of invulnerability +4 in mithril, a billion GP, a ring of wishes and a small castle".
Or,
Player: "I read the evil wizard's spellbook"
DM: "Nothing interesting, it only has spells you alread know".
Player: "Nothing else?"
DM: "Yep"
Player: "I search it for hidden pages, and I pass it above a candle's flame for invisible ink"
DM: "You find it contains Mordenkainen's Disjunction, Meteor Storm, Imprisonment, three copies of Wish, Time Stop, and a custom-made first level spell which deals 12d8 damage with no save and can be cast as a free action".

Or, if the current enemy is clearly and utterly defeated and he knows it and his turn is coming:
DM: "He casts Haste, Time Stop, Meteor Storm, Horrid Wilting, Horrid Wilting, Time Stop, Horrid Wilting, Meteor Storm, Meteor Storm, Time Stop (he's got scrolls), Disintegrate, Disintegrate, Meteor Storm, Time Stop, Haste, Horrid Wilting, and a quad-empowered,  maximized Magic Missile".
And, if a character (PC or not) has just been hit by something massive which dealt about ten times the HP he had, or a similar situation, I usually say, "...but you/he can still save for half". Like, 
Player: "Chain Lightning on the kobolds. 75 damage".
DM: "Well, they can still save for half".
Or (variant),
DM: "Each wizard of the enclave casts Hold Person on you. There are 49 of them. You may still save against all, of course".

Sometimes I use them in combination:
"He casts Haste, Time Stop, [...], and three Fireballs, dealing 3612 damage to you. You can still save for half, though".


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## Tewligan

1. "To The Books!"
Called out in a dramatic "To the Batmobile!" voice when a rule is questioned and everyone simultaneously reaches for their books and races to be first with the answer.

2. The Pat Hat
Named after a former player who was notorious for doing stupid things that endangered himself and/or the party, the Pat Hat is a conical dunce-style hat made out of brown paper, festooned with stars and the words "Pat Hat."  Doing something dangerously stupid during a game has been known to provoke other players into chanting "Pat Hat!  Pat Hat!" until the offender puts on the hat, occasionally with a photograph to commemorate the wearing.  I wear the Pat Hat more than I care to think about...

3. "No, I Don't"
When we played in college years ago, I got in the habit of saying "No, I don't" when the DM told me I took damage, had to make a saving throw, or anything else that meant pain was in my character's immediate future.  The DM would automatically say "Yes, you do", I'd say okay, and we'd move on.  One summer, a couple of us went to a small local con and played in a game together with a DM and some other players we didn't know.  At one point, the DM told me I had to make a save vs. poison, to which I said "No, I don't."  He gave me a baffled look, looked over my character sheet in search of some power or item he had forgotten about, and said in an uncertain voice "Yes, you do."  "Oh, okay" I said, and on we went.


----------



## zilch

"You punch yourself in the eye"

This came from me (the DM) when my group was experimenting with critical miss house rules. The monk rolled a one.

[Edit]
Oh, and my signature came from when the party was in another plane, full of humanoid animals.


----------



## MeepoTheMighty

"Limestone or Granite?"

We had one player who was always really interested in the realism of the surroundings, and got really upset once because the baron who was hiring us to investigate a suddenly appearing swamp didn't know the primary geological composition of the surrounding area.  Ever since, every time we see a rock, cave, or mountain, we ask the DM if it's limestone or granite (often in quite angry and aggressive tones).

"Nine and a half foot pole"

I was playing a halfling wizard with a bag of holding.  I asked the DM if I could fit a ten foot pole in the bag. He said not only could it not fit in the bag, but a three foot halfling couldn't use a ten foot pole. I grumbled for a bit, but let the matter go.  Later on, when we came to something that needed poking, I pulled out a nine and a half foot pole.   

Every halfling since has always had a nine and a half foot pole as part of his gear.

"I'm attacking the darkness!"

Self-explanatory.  Kudos to the Dead Alemen.


----------



## Piratecat

MeepoTheMighty said:
			
		

> * Kudos to the Dead Alemen. *




The Dead Alewives, actually. An alewife is a type of freshwater herring.  

Go figure.

I think their website is www.deadalewives.com.


----------



## MeepoTheMighty

Piratecat said:
			
		

> *
> 
> The Dead Alewives, actually. An alewife is a type of freshwater herring.
> 
> Go figure.
> 
> I think their website is www.deadalewives.com. *




I knew Alemen sounded wrong.  Thanks.


----------



## DM with a vengence

"I walk up to the creature, look it in the eyes, and say, 'That's not very nice.'"
This came from when the party was fighting a basilisk, and the rogue decided that he just wanted to do something random.
BTW, does anybody know a good way to turn a statue back into a rogue.


----------



## dcorbin

Two sayings come to mind (these from the mid 80's):

"I am Carl Lewis", short for "I am Carl Lewis, fastest man alive" which basically meant that character was running for all he was worth.

and 

"Toast".  indicating the discharge of a fireball.  "Those orcs are toast"  (this one seem like it might be so common it's not worth mentioning, but I have, and you'll have to live with it  )


----------



## Richards

My youngest son is currently running a 12th-level male human fighter that has managed to get himself killed once in every adventure he's been in so far.  (It's not quite as bad as it seems; he was a replacement for a slain PC and was built at 9th or 10th level.)  Anyway, he was swallowed by an advanced behir during our last gaming session and I was describing how much acid and grinding damage he'd be taking each round in the behir's gullet.  He wasn't impressed - his comment was "Eh, I've been killed by worse."

That's going to be his new catch phrase.

Johnathan


----------



## toberane

We had a DM one time who couldn't stand those little one or two word hanging sentences people always throw out, like "So..." or "Anyway..."

Everytime someone used these he had the same comebacks.  Let's see how many I can remember:

PC: "So..."
DM: "Peter Gabriel, 1984" (Peter Gabriel put out an album entitled "So" in 1984)

PC: "Anyway..."
DM: "Left."

PC: "Well..."
DM: "That's a very deep subject."

PC: "OK..."
DM: "Fifteenth and eleventh letters of the alphabet.  What's your point?"

there were others, but I can't remember them right now.

If you were to use any of the above phrases in combination, so would the DM.

PC: "So, anyway..."
DM: "Peter Gabriel, 1984. Left."

You can imagine how annoying this got after gaming with the guy for a few years.


----------



## rounser

> "Eh, I've been killed by worse."



LOL

You could base an entire character around that line alone...


----------



## Twinswords

Some of our group:

Paymore is another name for pelor. Because we have carried tens of thousands of gold pieces to that temple. And because we had a cleric of pelor in the party who charged for healing. 

"I recycle their equipment" or "i collect evidence" because looting corpses isn`t allowed by the paladin.

Twinswords

Two swords are better then one.


----------



## Valmur_Dwur

I once played a Paladin who when surprised would say"Hades-spawned Devildom!" before engaginf.


----------



## Ilen

A certain character in an Earthdawn game we play plays a dwarf and is constantly having bad luck, and being picked on IC. This has bleed into our other games (Vampire: Dark Ages, D&D, Warhammer, it doesn't matter) and when ever somebody is having bad luck or is getting picked on somebody in the group sometimes chimes in (regardless of who is having the luck), "Sucks to be the dwarf." Or more commonly when one is having bad luck; "God, I feel like the dwarf." is customarily muttered.


----------



## Chriskaballa

We have a euphemism in our group based off a former player- "pulling a Nick". We once had a layer named Nick who would do the stupidest things imaginable. He couldn't roleplay, couldn't get the d20 system rules straight, couldn't even figure out which die was which. And he threw dice at me.

So if a player picks up the wrong die, or forgets an easy rule... "Great. <name> just pulled another Nick." is on the tip of everyone's tongue.

Then there's the phrase for rolling a natural 20 (or whatever is the highest number on the die) in our group... we call it "killing the die". As in "Nice! I just killed on 2d8!"

~Chris


----------



## ThomasBJJ

"I guess I'll be rolling up a Bard."

 Said whenever a character is in danger of dying. Reason being that we jokinly talked about having to work your way down the PC class heirarchy with each dead character. We never figured out the exact order but Bard is on the bottom of the list, just below Rogue.

 I guess if your bard dies, you have to roll up a warrior, adept, expert or aristocrat.


----------



## Cedric

Two more for you...

In our last D&D game before I left my longstanding group to move to Texas...we had a priest/rogue of Ollidamara. His term for searching the bodies for loot/info?

"I give them all last rites" 

Also, the term we use for whenever the most dangerous, dual wielding fighter in the party opens up his biggest attacks...

"I turn into a whirling maelstrom of death"

Cedric


----------



## Altin

Thanks to everybody who's contributed thus far, I haven't laughed this hard for weeks. Anyhow, a few more:

"Loading for bear" This originated in a 2nd Ed. game where we didn't usually haul around the big guns out of genre considerations (Victorian horror - Masque of the Red Death for those who care). The phrase was used to indicate that we would in fact be taking along the rifles/shotguns loaded with silver. It has since mutated and is now used whenever the PCs prepare for a big fight (eg. A mage memorising only evocations is said to be 'loading for bear'). It is also sometimes found in other forms like 'loading for dragon' and 'loading for Cthulhu'. 

"I disbelieve the illusion!" Said in response to an extremely undesirable development. For instance, it is the standard response to GM phrases like 'You see a huge red dragon' and 'your +2 sword passes right through it'. I think this one might be in fairly common usage, however.

"Writing a sternly worded letter to the Editor" used as a suggestion whenever a player is complaining about something they are powerless to change -- whether this be game-related or not. (eg. A: 'The Pizza is late again' B:'Why don't you write a sternly worded letter to the editor?')

Yours,
Altin


----------



## uberkitty

"I'd rather light the badger than curse the darkness."  

Result of our party's (for reasons I can't remember) first adopting a dire badger and then casting permanent light on him.  

"Bear Trap"

Any really stupid trap/puzzle, or our party's being stupidly stumped by one.  Refers to the worst "trap" of all time, a stuffed bear on wheels which rolled toward the party.  It took us _much_ too long to figure it out.  (The ranger cast charm animal on it, and couldn't figure out why nothing happened.)

One PC from that party retired and opened an inn after that adventure.  He called it the Bear & Badger, and its lobby features a stuffed badger lamp and a closet marked "Bear" which occasionally terrifies the tourists.

"Mount Trouble."

Any failure which has no real repercussions.  One of the items on an old critical failure table.  It was never applicable to the situation, and it came up every time.  

"Prepare Yourselves!"

Quoted at (embarrassing) anti-climaxes.  A PC once heroically flung open a door, turned back to her party, and declaring, "Prepare yourselves," proceeded to walk smack into a wall.


----------



## Trevalon Moonleirion

Well, this one is mostly used by me when I'm DMing.  I'll just go on describing a room elaborately, and then interject, "But...Of more immediate concern to you..." followed by an nigh-inevitable attack from something nasty.  Ya know.. I might've only used that like once or twice... oh well.. I plan on using it more anyhow... LOL.

Another thing that I'll do on occaision to really piss off my players (especially the original two) is stick the example of play from the 2e PHB into the middle of an adventure.  Cut stone blocks placed in rooms nearly always draw angry glares from those two.

Ya know, I really can't think of anything else right at the moment and it's bugging the hell out of me.

EDIT:  MORE!


> _Originally posted by Talath:_
> 3. Thats What She Said.
> 
> Sometimes one of us says something which can be taken the wrong way (for example, "take that out of your mouth") and then one of us will say in response, "Thats what she said".




This is a running gag among my players and I as well... I wonder if there's a common source for this phenomenon...

The Dead Alewives, of course, get quoted quite a bit at the table.

Lately, Fayredeth has loved joking about trying to pick up women in-game.  "Are you from Venus?  Cuz that ass is outta this world!!!"

When we played Ravenloft, late, late at night, much stuff for the quotebook was created...  "Strahd's a pedophile" being one of them.  You see, they encounter the room in his castle with the young girl--not a kid, just a young girl--and instantly that pops up.  From my fellow ENWorld poster Fayredeth, we got a lovely little song about Strahd (to the tune of Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega, and of course done in a "count" voice...like the Count on Sesame street): One, Two, Three, Four-Five, It may look like it, but i'm not a-live!..."  There's a bit more but I can't remember it really.  Continuing with that line of thought, everytime I mentioned Count Strahd I'd hear "Von! Ah!  Two Ah! Ah!  Three! Ah! Ah! Ah!"  just like the Count on Sesame Street.

I think that's all for the moment.  I'll update as i think of more... lol

EDIT 2:  But wait, there's more!
This is from when Fayredeth was DMing.  I was playing my rather ugly cleric of ...oh I can't even remember the god or godess in his world.  Anyhow, I solve a puzzle in this maze and Fay describes various things while I'ms till wandering around.  He seems to be gettting frustrated but I'm not really sure why.  He then jumps up and says "[INSERT GOD NAME HERE] appears in front of you, bitchslaps you and tells you to get out of the ****ing maze!!!"


----------



## Tectonic042

I have two memorable lines, both stemming from one long-running campaign:

"The stupid one says 'yes.'"

This line was spoken at a time when an insane chaotic evil drow demigod had our characters chained to the walls of his jail. It was a lightless place, so the three humans in our party couldn't see a damn thing. I was playing a drow fighter at the time, and since one of our friends had left early, I was also playing his ranger, Scars (he had a 4 Charisma, poor guy). Someone made a comment about how they'd give the demigod an opinion of their accommodations if there was some light in them. The demigod responded by saying, "Ah yes, would any of you like to SEE?" I looked over at the sheet for my friend's character. His Intelligence was a 7. Without thinking, I held up the sheet and said, "The stupid one says 'yes'." The demigod cackled and polymorphed him into some sort of whacked-out vampire/angel hybrid freak of nature. It was very entertaining. I have since learned not to speak through anybody's character, as well.

"So.... that means we have to drink his blood, right?"

The entire city we were in - and I mean the ENTIRE city, including the Paladins - was ill. Everyone had a nasty cold. Except for one party member, the monk. There was another monk in the city who was sick, however, so we knew this wasn't it. Someone knowledgable advanced the theory that perhaps the monk's blood had something called 'antibodies' that were special and helped fight off the disease.  My character asked the above question, and got a 'no.' As the days passed and no cure became evident, we started growing more and more desperate. Eventually, every time a solution failed, I would ask if this meant we had to drink the monk's blood. This literally went on for hours. Several party members actually started lobbying for 'only a few drops.' The monk was nonplussed.


----------



## bwgwl

the last group i was in accumulated a few.

we had one player whose characters were always unheathily curious. always poking around where they shouldn't be. the first character ended up losing an eye, a hand, and part of one leg. he had to be retired. his second character lost some toes _on his first session_ and an arm in the second. he was retired. when his _third_ character was about to do something ill-conceived, someone would ask, "How many limbs do you have left?"

same player. his character had to swim down this submerged tunnel in a mine. (i forget exactly what we were looking for.) as he was swimming back to where the rest of the party was waiting, something brushed against his leg. he freaked out. "Oh no! there's something in the water with me! it's going to eat me!" he tried to swim faster, and it appeared the thing kept on following him, bumping into him as he went along. finally, he gets to shore, whips out a dagger and throws it into the water. he got a critical hit! so he wades in and pulls out ... a blind, albino, foot-long cave trout.

"Watch out! it's a cave trout!" became a popular taunt after that for when someone was scared of something they shouldn't be.

one of the major villains we were up against had a pet snake. this guy wasn't quite right in the head. he'd take his snake everywhere and pampered it. one time when we infiltrated his mansion, we found a guest bedroom. the bed had an impression that looked like a coiled-up snake had been sleeping there. "now why would this guy have a whole decked-out bedroom just for his pet snake?" of course the obvious answer is that it was a WERESNAKE! for the rest of the campaign, we were always sharp to keep an eye out for any weresnake activity... if anything happened we couldn't explain, it must've been the weresnake. over time, this somehow evolved into an undead weresnake. then a VAMPIRE undead weresnake. and then, the ultimate bad-mojo monster in the universe: a vampire undead weresnake that SHOOTS BEES OUT OF ITS MOUTH!

the city the campaign was set in was based on Renaissance Venice, so the leader of the city was known as The Doge. during one adventure, we were at a party at the Doge's mansion when he died of a heart attack (apparently). one of the players was out of the room when the GM dropped that bomb on us. when he came back, he was a little confused as to what we were all talking about. "Waitaminute. Who died?" "The Doge." "Why are all those people hurrying upstairs?" "THE DOGE." the answer to every question was "The Doge."

now, our group was prone to a lot of table talk and drifting off into out-of-game discussions. it became standard practice after that scene, that if you wanted to get the group focused back on the game, you'd ask a question based on whatever topic was being discussed, but the answer would always be "The Doge." like, "That scene where Yoda was fighting and spinning like a top was really cool." "Yeah, but you know who can really spin like  a top?" "THE DOGE!" or "I can't believe how badly the stock market is performing lately. "But you know who's really performing badly?" "THE DOGE!"


----------



## Hand of Vecna

Due to the action of one PC, all Paladins of Heironous are required to cry out "WHORE!" when charging into combat, striking a critical hit, or being critically hit.

It's a looong story...


----------



## bwgwl

one more. different campaign. this one was set in a large city that was effectively governed by a coalition of commerce guilds. this was in the GURPS system, where there are normally two different social advantages: Status, which represents your position in the society as a whole; and Rank, which represents your position in an organization.

since the guilds _were_ the government, the GM decided to just make one hybrid advantage that took into account both, because if you were high ranking in a guild, you were of high status, and you couldn't be high status in society without being high rank in a guild.

but he wasn't sure what to call this new advantage. i come in with the ever-so-witty "Status + Rank = STANK!"

since he couldn't think of anything better, STANK was actually used as the OOC name of the advantage. "My character has a STANK of 4! how much STANK do you have?"


----------



## CRG

"Don't talk to the monsters"

At some point in the game you end up with a player who starts talking to an NPC (or heck, even a monster).  They try to rationalize things or maybe even begin some sort of stupid "make the monster like me" activity.  If it fails miserably and combat is going to ensue, the DM will say "Don't talk to the monsters" - meaning you've obviously angered the critter and everyone should roll initiative.

Also used by players to signify that in-game their character is really extoling the virtues of quiet monster killing versus giving the monsters time to prepare and cast a bunch of beef-up spells.

Ahem.  "Gurten-Bu-(double T)-load"

This comes from time in college where we were playing cards instead of RPGs, etc.  A good friend of ours (who's since moved away - so sad - we all miss him) was sitting beside me.  It was a large game of hearts and frankly it was becoming a silly game.  At the beginning of one hand he made some claim as to how much trouble he was in because of all the hearts he had.  After a buddy of mine completely destroyed him by playing a bunch of hearts on him during that hand, Gurten remarked "I was sooooo doomed.  I had a buttload of hearts.  There was nothing I could do".  Of course, I had blatantly been looking at his hand (we had all progressed beyond fair play - it was a drunken and competitive variety of the game) knew he had only two.  From this point forward, a Gurten-buttload now signifies two of anything.

"Lawful stupid", "Chaotic selfish"

You can figure these out on your own.

"Crowd Reaction"

In the old Bloodbowl game (several versions back), if you rolled horibbly low on a roll the crowd at the match had some sort of reaction, like storming the pitch or throwing things at your player.  Rolling exceptionally low is often referred to as a "crowd reaction".


----------



## toberane

ThomasBJJ said:
			
		

> *. . . Bard is on the bottom of the list, just below Rogue.
> *




I resent this!  I've been playing 3E since two months before it oficcially came out (playtesting), and I have yet to find a character class that is more fun to play or (particularly with a touch of multiclassing) that kicks more butt in combat than a rogue.  If you don't think so, you are just playing them wrong.

And it is particularly offensive that you rank rogue lower than Ranger!


----------



## toberane

A few more.

"This deli tray is unacceptable!"--A friend had a character who was usually drunk and somewhat insane.  This is one of my favorite of his nonsensical sayings, usually said by someone whenever the conversation would pause for a moment.

"Je Sui le fromage en batente" (I probably spelled that completely wrong... I don't speak french)--The same friend had an annoying habit of spouting off the only two french phrases he knew at odd times during our game sessions.  The one I have quoted here translates roughly to "I am the annoying cheese."  The other phrase, which I can't remember the french translation for, was "Make the noisy pig squeal in pain."

"Don't drink the blue guy."--We ran a campaign one time that had us exploring the cottage of a wizard.  There were some vials on the table, one of which contained a blue liquid.  A warrior in our party drank the liquid, and immediately died.  A few minutes later, he came to life again, except that this time he was the dead wizard whose house we were searching andwho had apparently put his essence into the blue potion.  So, from that point on, when someone was about to do something recklessly without thinking of the consequences, we would always say, "Don't drink the blue guy!"


----------



## Leopold

1. "Massive Search" and how to find nothing.

PC's search a room for hours and ask if i they find anything. I stare at the players, cup the dice in my hands palm down and shake them on the table and say "You find nothing". This usually gets them moving along.

2. The ominous 'wow'

When the PC's are in battle or about to be in battle I simply mumble a simple 'wow' and it gets their attention. I said wow 5 times last nite and the pc's were sweating bullets.


----------



## bwgwl

in the last D&D campaign i ran, one of the players had a rogue PC.

it seems there's a standard way of describing the results of a rogue's skill checks.

"There don't *appear* to be any traps on this chest."
"It *appears* that you have disarmed the trap."
"There doesn't *appear* to be anyone noticing you sneaking around."

eventually, i started doing this on _all_ her skill checks, much to her confusion. 

"It *appears* that you have climbed the wall."
"You *appear* to have jumped the chasm."


----------



## MeepoTheMighty

"You pull the trigger of the death ray only to find that the barrel is pointed at your face."

Supposedly this is from some old sci-fi game as an example of a critical fumble.  It usually gets mentioned about every other time someone rolls a 1.

"Lay hands on myself"

One time a paladin asked if he could lay hands on himself, and the DM said yes, but it would make his palms hairy.  He later ruled that every lay-on-hands attempt had to be made via a naughty touch.


----------



## Femerus the Gnecro

"night falls... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *thump*"

"day breaks... *crash*"

Needless to say, the DM now rewords the changing of the days if he doesn't want at least one person to use these against him.

"I kick him in the shins"

From when we had an evil necromancer gnome (me!) and a paladin in the party at the same time.  He was 'palanoid' in the extreme, so everytime he started to detect evil, I kicked him in the shins to muss up his concentration.  From then on it's just sort of become a catchphrase.

"The sun comes up"

From a vampire game in high school... the storyteller decided that whenever anyone fumbled, the sun would come up, regardless of the actual time of day.  ex. "you fumble walking through the door... the doorframe breaks around your, and you find yourself staked in several places by the shards of wood.  Then the sun comes up."

"plot! and roleplay!" signs

From an awful mage game... the storyteller actually made 'plot' and 'roleplay' signs so the players wouldn't try to kill the plot and talk to the battles

"critical mattress"

From a dragonlance game... my kender was fighting a large acid spitting beetle with a spear, but it was under the bed.  After it scurried out, I said "I jump on it with the mattress" and the DM had me make an attack roll.  20.  20.  20.  Thus... critical mattress 

"i search the room for plot" and "breeze of plot"

From a current game... the DM is big on having the players find obscure clues and tie together tiny pieces of information.  So, when stuck, PC's generally begin to 'search the room for plot' in hopes that the DM will give us a clue.  The breeze of plot is when the DM is fed up with our bungling and decides to take a direct hand, i.e. "a breeze picks up and blows to the south, ending at a locked door"

"DM-ex machina"

My personal term for when the DM either fudges openly or adds something out of the blue to keep the players from being irritated with him, for example... "oh no, jubei was smashed fighting giants!  and we're days from town!  how will we ever get him raised?  (at this point the bushes rustle and an old cleric pops out)..perhaps I can help you"

"I seach the door for hinges" and "I attempt to set him on fire"

The former from a somewhat... thorough (?) thief, who used to check every door in a dungeon for hinges before asking which way it would swing, whether it had a knob or a handle, how big the keyhole was, what the door was made out of, what metal the lock was made out of, etc

The latter from the aforementioned DL game... a really dumb cleric of mishakal who decided to set a draconian on fire with a flint and steel.  *click* *click* *click* (with the accompanying motions of striking a spark).  Since then, that gesture/sound effect combo has become synonymous for stupid actions.  

-F


----------



## toberane

"Small Change"--Whenever someone screws up or forgets something (often the DM), the group says that a small person (dwarf, halfling, or gnome, doesn't really matter.  Just generally a small person) named "Small Change" walks across the scene carrying a sign that says "small Change," and this has the effect of reversing time to the point that needs to be changed.

I have no idea where that one came from.


----------



## alsih2o

"dawns crack"

 from a game where a p.c. always said "we leave at the crack of dawn" and the smartie rogue replied "who is dawn, and has she approved of that?"

 must be said with a nasal twang


----------



## MeepoTheMighty

"A big neon sign springs up that says 'module this way'"

Used any time the PCs need a little bit of prodding to get moving. In other words, all the time.


----------



## Arravis

My character who is an arrogant Mulhorandi wizard is known for two catchphrases...

Continously saying "indeed" and when he does something no one else in the party can or was able to, he'll respond with a "But of course I could... I AM Mulhorandi."


----------



## Quickbeam

There are a few we use:

1) Whenever a paladin uses the detect evil ability, we say that so-and-so turns on their radar.

2) One of the characters I play is a gnome who happens to be a compulsive liar named Torri.  Anytime we want to denote someone exaggerating details, we say they've Torried the story .

3) "Stitch That!" is an all purpose comment for putting a wicked beatdown on someone/something.  We use this battle cry to follow up critical hits; massive fumbles; awesome spell effects; you name it, and "Stitch That!" works .
*note*
Stitch That was originally borrowed from the 2E battlearger kit description.  While it's not original, I doubt that any group anywhere has gotten more mileage out of a phrase than we have from, "Stitch That!"


----------



## Chromnos

The "Gank"

When your unsuspecting characters are searching a room and the invisible wight assassin with lethal contact poison on his hands teleports in with his five vampire spawn buddies and kills your cleric before you can do anything- you've been ganked!

Gank (v.): a combination of the phrase "to gang up on" and the word "spank." To attack en masse, usually with the element of surprise, with devastating results. Synonym: ambush. Example: "I was ganked!" or "They ganked me!" or "We're gonna gank those guys."

-C


----------



## Siridar

Here's something that one of my player's came up with a few years ago. It's his version of a D&D song using Metallica's "Master of Puppets" as the basis. It's been quoted frequently at our table.

"Bastard of RPG's"

1st level player's game
Put monsters in their way
20 levels beyond their ability

Spread the hate and blame
Frustration and shame
Rob their XP and treasure

Roll the dice and lie
And watch the players cry
As their PC's die

The Dungeon Master
Rple-playing disaster
Your PC's die faster
The DM is a bastard. Bastard

Get shot in the back by poisoned darts
Roll every miss on the fumble chart
Get stomped by giants in big spiked boots
Roll all damage with loaded dice
Bastard. Bastard.

Where are all the rewards we're after
Bastard. Bastard

All your clues are lies
Bastard. Bastard

All I hear is your laughter
Bastard. Bastard

Your adventures I despise
Bastard. Bastard


And then there's the ever popular:
"Is that one question each or in total?"
After 40 minutes of trying to solve a riddle to gain the question no less. We had to stop playing for over an hour after the player said that. No one could stop laughing.


----------



## drnuncheon

From an online game I played at, we had the "Kraydn effect".  Kraydn was my character, and whenever I was running the adventures (we rotated DMing), the players would roll extremely well.

Until combat started.

Then, they rolled like they were using d8s instead of d20s.  It always happened, and it never happened when other people DMed.

So, now, whenever I'm anywhere near an RPG (even if I'm not playing) and people start rolling badly, it's the "Kraydn Effect".

J


----------



## Trevalon Moonleirion

> _drnuncheon_
> Then, they rolled like they were using d8s instead of d20s. It always happened, and it never happened when other people DMed.




I seem to have the opposite effect on my players actually.  I've never been at a table where so many critical threats were rolled in one night.  On the other hand, perhaps the players are just sucking my initiative mojo....   because really, I could probably roll higher on a d8 than I normally do on a d20 when rolling for the baddies initiative.

Sorry for the thread-jacking, but i just thought of it and this fine thread deserves a bump anyhow.


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## Bran Blackbyrd

*"We have no means to harm you."*
This happened when our group of four ran into a rather large band of orcs. My fighter/cleric decided to try to communicate with them rather than immediately start fighting, unfortunately he couldn't speak orc. So I would tell the party's wizard what to say, and he would talk to the orcs. My cleric hopes to bluff them and says, "Tell them that we don't want any trouble, but if they attack us we will be forced to destroy them."
What was the sorcerer's player's translation? "We have no means to harm you." Apparently this made sense to the player, but the orcs attacked immediately anyway.
Now whenever someone says or does something stupid despite the fact they should know better (especially during negotiations) we all say, "We have no means to harm you."

*"I cast searing light."*
Our priest of Pelor was involved in a tragic accident that crippled his left hand to the point of uselessness, but increased his ability to cast light based spells. As a result, he was constantly casting searing light, and nothing but searing light. Now whenever someone repeats the same action, or uses the same tactics constantly, one of us invariably shouts, "I cast searing light."
This also became a euphemism for pleasuring one's self, and is accompanied with the appropriate hand motions when said. 

*Priest of Pelor, know your place!*
This happened when the cleric's player forgot himself (he usually tried to roleplay properly, something most of our players didn't bother with) and got uppity with the local nobility. The result was the DM cutting off the player in mid-sentence and admonishing him in a stern voice, "Priest of Pelor, know your place!"
I don't know why, but it was hilarious, especially the gobsmacked expression on the player's face. This phrase is recited by the DM when someone questions him, or whenever someone oversteps a boundary, no matter how small.
"Hey, did you take an extra slice of pizza?" "Priest of Pelor, know your place!"

*Drop a mohrg barrel on that ass.*
We had a player whose bard had a nasty habit of always trying to loot things first, and at innapropriate times. For instance, he once proceeded to loot the corpse of a man who had just attempted to kill a woman and a small child. They stood there screaming as the stranger who just murdered their would-be killer rifled through the man's pockets. A grief counsler he is not.
So we're in a mine and come across a room full of regular old kobolds (we were 10th level on average) and kill them all. There's nothing in the room aside from a barrel. Of course, the greedy bard makes a dash for the barrel, but the fighter is sick of his snatch tactics and tries to get to the barrel first. The bard beats him to it and he opens the barrel, only to be grappled by the mohrg crouched within. We were all attacking the mohrg trying to save him, but the next player up was our wizard (we have no means to harm you) and he vaporized the bard and the mohrg with a lightning bolt.
We don't refer to it as a barrel with a mohrg in it, or anything like that, it is specifically a mohrg-barrel. Now we sometimes threaten each other with, "Watch yourself, or I'll drop a mohrg-barrel on that ass.", or something similar.

*"Hey butt-squeak"*
The very same sorcerer referred to a new player's character by name, when (in-game) he wasn't supposed to know him yet. What resulted wa another "you had to be there" moment.

*Sorcerer:* Trandorf, get away from the Ettin so I can fireball it.
*DM:* You don't know his name yet.
*Sorcerer:* Hey, butt-squeak or whatever your name is, get away from the ettin!
Uproarious laughter ensues. Like I said, you had to be there. Any npc whose name is not yet known is butt-squeak.

EDIT
*Bugbear Armpit Potion*
Our sorcerer (again) got himself into trouble during a fight with some bugbears and other assorted nasties. He was in dire need of healing and he searched one of the bugbears for anything that could help. The DM informed him that he found a vial filled with liquid strapped in the bugbear's armpit, presumably concealed for use in an emergency. Desperate for any healing he could get he swallows the potion and immediately his legs turn into that of a goat or a satyr, and they are really long. For many sessions to come he was the tallest member of the party, with increased dexterity and speed, and a devestated charisma score. He was denied shelter, people ran from him shouting things about demons, and he was generally shunned by every npc we encountered. We learned that the tactics a bugbear might employ, and the attributes they may find acceptable as a condition of victory, might not necessarily match the sensibilities of more refined races.
Whenever we run into something whose effects are unknown to us, someone usually says, "Maybe it's a bugbear armpit potion.", or "We should be okay, as long as it hasn't been in a bugbear's armpit."


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## Berk

I got two things to say.

1: One of the people in our group always falls asleep, it's just him, he drinks coffee he falls asleep, he takes 2 stackers and he falls asleep, it's just him. But the entire group has started to refer to him as the incredible narcaleptic mage (he almost always plays a mage)

2: The same person I was talking about above once rolled 5 20's in a row during a 2e game (we were doing natural 20's always hit and a second natural 20 would do critical damage) while our entire group was feather falling down a mountain side with manshoon and that big nasty red dragon (forget his name). The dragon just burst through a few stone walls our mage just put up over the cave entrance to "try" and cover our escape route. So anyway the dragon just burst through the stone walls, flew around and was headed straight towards us with manshoon about 150' in front and up from us. The dragon had 5 delayed blast fireballs ready to release on us and was going to breath so it all happened at the same time. It was a party of 5 9th-13th lvl chars. So anyway the said 20 roller takes out our only arrow of red dragon slaying that we could buy and notches it. Fires, Die roll, 20. *hoots and hollers and cheers* Dragon dies instantly and falls to the ground never being able to get the delayed blast fireballs or his breath weapon off. Now there is only manshoon we have to try and escape, feather falling down the side of a mountain. =op. Same said char notches his last 2 +5 arrows (he was a fighter with more then 1 attack a round) and hits manshoon both times with, yep you guessed it, natural 20's on both to hit rolls and natural 20's on the to crit rolls. Dead manshoon. Man was the dm (my brother) ever pissed at that one. =op


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## Adrenaline Hunk

Our group has ehm.. 'developed' the following phrases..

*Guru* 
One player of ours on several occassions forgot (he was new to D&D) that he had already added all 'to hit' bonusses and thus modified his' THAC0 on his PC sheet, and added them once more after he rolled to hit. When we discovered this, and pointed it out to him, he was genuinely surprised. I called him a Guru of cheats, since he'd done it so well that he didn't even realize it himself. Nowadays, whenever someone makes mistakes, we call him a Guru or accuse him of Guru-ing.

*Air molecules*
Being bored one session with the phrase "you miss" and trying to liven up the game, I coined the phrase "air molecules die horribly" whenever someone missed.


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## Mayhawk

*Memorable quote from my group*

We don't really have quotes that come up at various situations in the game.  We have a catalogue of funny incidents and quotes that are worth retelling.  My wife in particular, likes this one: 

I had been DMing a Greyhawk game over the past year in D&D 3E rules.  My gaming group was new to it and amazed at how deadly the monsters were in comparison to the 1st and 2nd Edition monsters.  They found that keeping the cleric close at hand was a necessity for survival.  One of my players, a rather attractive young lady, asked the cleric of the party if he had any healing spells left as she was about to engage in melee combat with an ogre who had already taken out two other members of the party.  He responded confidently, "Yes."  She looked at him earnestly and said, "Good.  I am going to fight that ogre.  If I go down.  Nail me."


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## Piratecat

MeepoTheMighty said:
			
		

> *"You pull the trigger of the death ray only to find that the barrel is pointed at your face."
> 
> Supposedly this is from some old sci-fi game as an example of a critical fumble.  It usually gets mentioned about every other time someone rolls a 1.
> *




Ah, S3: Expedition to the Barrier Peaks. The "figuring out tech" charts were both hilarious and suicidal. I remember reading them for the first time, and vowing never to try and use a laser pistol myself in the game.

*Do you carry raise dead?*

This is from Sialia's and Bandeeto's old game. They had one player who always played a mage, and (although lawful good) had the bad habit of killing party members "for the good of the party."  At one point, they realized that he had killed almost every other PC with collateral damage in combat and justified it as being in the interest of the group.

In this particular circumstance, one of the PCs was being grappled by a hideously dangerous extraplanar bear. Both the bear and the PC were badly hurt, and most of the group were down. The mage looked at the cleric.  "Do you carry _raise dead_?" he asked.  "Why, yes.  How come?" answered the cleric.  By way of answering, the mage _chain lightning_ed both the fighter and monster.


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## Scud-O

*"You're NOT THERE!"*

our eleven ranger, arcane archer wannabe constantly interjects into conversations/transactions at which he's not present.  he loves to try to search rooms that he isn't in or buy things from shops that he didn't enter with the rest of the group.  we usually let him finish the first statement/question before yelling in unison at him.  then that got boring, so we made a sign to hold up whenever he started in.

*"is that (insert creature or character type) an elderly British farmer (insert creature of character type again)?"*

our DM is a wonderfully dramatic storyteller, moving around, mimicking the movements and attacks of NPCs and creatures during battles, describing rooms and battles in minute detail, really immersive stuff.  BUT, almost ALL of his NPCs speak like elderly British farmers.  he's really worked to overcome it and has been coming up with completely new and distinctive voices for characters for quite a while now.  but last week he slipped up and made the Apothecary we visited an elderly British farmer guy.  we razzed him a while and then moved on.  an hour or so later, when a group of Ghouls attacked us and our DM was up mimicking their shuffling walk and gurgling moans, our Monk asked "Are those Ghouls elderly British farmer Ghouls?"

there are many, many more, but my little fingers are tired from typing now.


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## Holy Bovine

I haven't laugh so hard in a thread for a long time.  Can a moderator archive this beauty when we're done with it?  Comedy this golden should be saved for all to enjoy!


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## provik

*Gaming Catch Phrases*

We've adopted the standard RPGA in our game store.

"We Greyhawk him."  First time I had to explain Greyhawking, I went through a long and complex explanation.

"We search the entire section of the last battle and adjoining rooms, taking multiple people and taking 20.  If no time for searching, mark it for later searches."

"Now to the villian(s)."

"We strip all pieces of non-organic metal from his body.  We search for gold teeth, implanted jewelry and vital body parts.  Cut, remove, store and catalog.  Run detect magic over all magic items.  Sort items into two lists, magical and non-magical.

Broken items, we sort into two lists...fixable with Mend, fixable with Make Whole.  We cast Prestidigitation to clean all items.  We make checks to recall if there are any bounties on this race.

Check again with wizards to ensure none of their body parts are good for spell components.  If not, bury and offering condolensces to their heathenous gods.

Load all loot up onto any mounts captured.  Turn mounts into a congo line of livestock.  Take all of this into town and sell it.

Party members may buy items or accept them in lieu of using their share of non-magical wealth (after costs for identifying have been deducted).


All of that, simplified with a simple phrase:

"We're Greyhawking."

Laugh if you want, but those Year One modules were a beee-och as far as getting enough money to live (unless you were lucky enough to get one of the massive +2 Keen Kukri's that floated around...then you were Mr. Wealthy!)


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## Delemental

I remembered a few more.  The first isn't so much a catchphrase, but something that comes up quite a bit...

Our Earthdawn GM has developed quite a few NPCs over the years, but for whatever reason, a significant number of them have names that begin with the letter "A" or start with the "Eh" sound.  Needless to say, it creates confusion sometimes.  Thus whenever we meet someone new, and the GM is having to come up with a name on the fly, we usually end up suggesting something like "His name is Aaaaaraaalan."

"Turpin drinks the potion"

This wasn't from a group I played in, but one that friends of mine did.  One of the players (last name Turpin) frequently couldn't make the game, and his character was dragged along.  Needless to say, that character ended up testing potions, opening doors, checking for traps when the thief didn't find any, etc.  Still used as a joke to signify when an absent player's character is 'volunteered' for dangerous work.

"Brenna Trapfinder"

We were in an underground tomb, and one of the characters, an archer named Brenna, died.  We were carrying her body around, and in the process managed to accidentally use her to find several major traps.  Like when we came to a pit trap, and decided to jump over it, the first thing we did is toss the body over the pit, which is how we discovered the concealed pit trap in the next section of floor.  Or when we found a small empty room, and put the body in there for safekeeping until we were ready to leave, only to find out that the floor dropped out into a pool of piranha once the door closed.  This is used for anyone who accidentally stumbles on a trap, or in situations where we're facing an area we're pretty sure has traps in it.

"Wing cozies"

At one point, a small group of our Earthdawn players formed a second game where they played the bad guys, our main group's opposition.  It didn't last due to scheduling problems, but one of the players created a corrupted windling (fairy-like creature, for those who don't know Earthdawn).  As a joke, he said that his character had wing-cozies knitted out of black yarn (the character was older, and needed help keeping out the chill, I suppose).  When he played in the regular game, the player would make occasional vague references to finding wing-cozies in his saddlebag, or under a pile of straw, etc.  Now 'wing-cozies' refer to any evidence that a major villain we know has had a hand in affairs.

Okay, this next one is more anecdotal, but oh well.  We have a player named Jake who, no matter what game he plays, seems to have the worst luck with any kind of climbing skill check.  No matter how high his skill in it, he manages to fall and has died more than once.  Thus now as an in-joke, we all require climbing checks from him for even mundane activities involving a change in elevation - "You dismount?  Roll climbing."  "You all walk down the stairs.  Jake, I need a Climb check from you."  At this point, pretty much every time we start a new adventure, he asks "Does this involve any climbing?"

I'm sure there are more, I just need more time to remember them...


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## Deathstalker

A few terms from our current game :

*Fordujits*
_(for-du-jits)_
(alternatively known as renducockoff)
Meaning :  Battlecry before a VERY powerful melee attack.
Explanation :  One of our party members is a samurai who carries a +4 Katana that does an additional 2d6 damage if his opponent is chaotic and/or another 2d6 if  it is evil.  What is worse is he has the ability that allows him to inflict a lot MORE damage if he catches his opponent flat-footed.

*Yardley*
_(YARD-ley)_
Meaning :  Battlecry shouted during the rolling of a LOT of damage.
Explanation :  This strange term is a corruption of yahtzee, the name of a dice game that involves rolling a large amount of dice at once (see Fordujits)


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## peteyfrogboy

Reading this thread I thought of a lot of quotes, so I'll try to be brief.

*Johnny Cash* 
I played a fire elementalist who regularly used circular Walls of Fire on his opponents. For example: "I pull a Johnny Cash on that orc."

*Tender, tasty, and pink in the center* 
Used to describe any mundane item that the PCs inspect. Stolen from the description of the roast beef in the old Castle Amber module. For example: "This chair is not magical, but it is tender, tasty, and pink in the center."

*Gobble Gobble* 
Every word in the goblin language sounds like "gobble". Similarly, every word in the ogre language is "ogre". So when youlisten at the door and hear "gobble gobble" or "ogre ogre ogre" you know what's in there.

*Evil is left handed* 
Whenever presenter with a branching corridor, we always go left because "evil is left handed".

*Wandering Woodsman* 
This guy shows up whenever the DM accidentally kills the entire party. Only used by kind-hearted DMs.

*Why are you drawing the room?* 
Originally referring to an airport in a Vampire game. If the DM starts drawing the layout of the room on the grid, clearly there's going to be combat. The original usage was followed by the following exchange:

PC 1: I don't think we're all going to fit in one Hummer.
PC 2: It doesn't matter, it's about to get blown up anyway.
GM: <glares at PC 2>

*Are all the street signs in German?* 
Originally used in the same Vampire game, while time traveling in London. Used when a PC figures out the DM's neat plot twist too quickly.

*What kind of armor are they wearing?* 
It wasn't until after we sprung our ambush on the band of slavers that we were informed that they were all mounted and wearing full plate. This question gets asked a lot now.

*Do they have dogs?* 
The two thieves in my game decided they wanted to do a little larceny after one of the other players went home. I was making the manor house they were breaking into up on the fly, and one of the other players asked if the guards had dogs. Since the PCs hadn't actually seen what was on the other side of the wall yet, I didn't feel bad about adding some dogs. This phrase is now used to represent giving the DM evil ideas.

*Twang* 
Used to indicate the elven archer botching another attack roll. Usually preceded by a heavy sigh.


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## Morose

"I see you have defeated my cow."

A reference from the amazingly stupid, yet still entertaining, movie Kung Pow.  Now used by players occasionally after defeating any creature that was a decent challenge.  Especially funny when used by the DM for the first time.  Less so at this point.


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## provik

*More Phrases*

*ss Berries

      "I'm stepping back five feet and eating an *ss-berry of Cure Serious!"

      When the druid began making Infusions, we got into a conversation about what they were made out of.  According to all the films and literature, things made by druids from 'natural' ingredients were always disgusting ("What's in this stuff?"  "Don't ask.")
       Our druid swore he made the stuff out of strawberries.  So we said he had to do something to make them taste horrible, otherwise, like all medicines, it wouldn't work.  So thus the phrase "*ss-Berry" was born.  We could only *assume* what he did to the berries to 'empower' them to work normally.  Blech.


Who's On Countdown?

      "Richard, you're on countdown.  Anyone above 25?"

      When doing combat, I hate tracking Initiative, so I assign it to players to count it down on the battle mat.  It's called the Countdown.


Wake Up Call

      "I give the signal to Grond and we make our wake-up calls."

      Sneak attack.  It always kinda struck me as funny, giving a wake-up call to a creature by killing them, but whatever.


Ping

      "I ping the guy to give Rothgar a +2 AC."

      Hitting foes with damage reduction for no damage, or using the Harry combat option to do no damage.  "Pinging" off their armor.


Light 'Em Up

      "I'll light 'em up."

      This is translated as "toss the continual light torch (or regular torch, light object, whatever) nearest to the combat sounds, targeting the square closest to the sound I hear.


Buck Futter!

       "Buck Futter!"
       "I don't have evasion, I'm getting out of the way!"

       That was a signal contrived by the players in my game to warn each other of incoming area effect spells.  By giving a one-count warning, I awarded them a +1 Insight Bonus to the Reflex Save (only because they knew it was coming).
        It was also a warning that all characters without evasion were to leave the area as quickly as possible.   Evasion people, take your chances.
       Buck Futter, of course, came from one of the old Jeopardy! parodies on SNL.  "Sean Connery" yelling at "Alex Trebek", "Buck Futter!"


Bad Touch

       "She Bad Touches you for 18 damage, Will Save for half."

       Cause Wounds or any other damaging touch spell (but typically the Cause Wounds spells).


Quarter and Bless by Two's

       "I take three clerics and we quarter and bless by two's."

       This was a classic.  Our resident militant decided to play a tragic cleric in a game (and not a cleric of war, either, mind you).  We set up an avalanche and destroy an entire army.  Note that in this world, the dead rise after three days unless you bless the ground on which they died.
       So without a step, Marcus steps up and issues his famous command.  Since then, it has come to mean any systematic clerical cleansing of a location.


Terylize

        "Yes, the soldier is sufficiently terylized."

         Teryl, the fighter in the above mentioned campaign, could go into a situation and begin issuing orders with absolutely no idea what was going on.  Ignorance will not stop military decisiveness in the pitch of battle. (Official Quote)  
         Teryl would begin issuing orders, denigrating and generally brow-beating until men followed his instructions.  Most of the obedience, however, was fear, so the condition came be known as Terylizing.  Men who refused to move when ordered to stand to, by the way, were suffering from 'Teralysis".


Thwack, Thunk, Shunk, and Vorp

       In order of more damaging sound effects:

       Thwack - Blunt damage of over 10 points.
       Thunk - Piercing damage of over 15 points.
       Shunk - Slashing damage of over 20 points.
       Vorp - Energy or magic damage of over 30 points.
                  Also interchangable with "Woosh"


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## Furn_Darkside

Salutations,

I still call players "twinks" and "choads" from my mudding days.

And I like to, jokingly, encourage the players to pk each other.

FD


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## provik

*More Phrases*

"Celestial Badger, I Choose You!"

       When summon first appeared in 3E, we said it sounded too much like Pokemon.  Since then, we ask what's loaded in a caster's Pokeball (What can he cast based on the spell and alignment).
        We all swear the material components should be a Pokeball.


"Cheerleader"

        Bards have become known as Cheerleaders.  They have Charisma, they sing and dance, and they cheer the party on when the real adventurers are fighting.  They also know nothing useful but they do recall random bits of information they overheard someplace.  And they talk people into telling them things or doing things for them.
        I believe Bards should wear short skirts and sweaters and get the whole charade into the open.



"I Strike With Impunity"

       Firing a bow or attacking with reach, knowing you are out of the reach of the powerful answering attacks unless they move.  BTW, you cannot strike with impunity unless there's a fighter around to cover you.



"The Dwarf-Stroke"

       Failing a swimming check is called "Doing the Dwarf-Stroke".  It's a special form of swimming and only dwarves do well.  But others may emulate if their die rolls suck bad enough.



"Go Over the Room With a Fine-Toothed Halfling"

       Standard, send the halfling to take 20 on the room with Search rolls.


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## Mahakik

A few years ago we had a bard who was quite the racist.  He would call elves "points, because of their ears."  Dwarves and gnomes "diggers - well, they're always digging something up that probably should be left buried!"  Halflings "flingers - aww, look at 'em, flinging those widdle bitty pebbles!"   And orcs "piggly-wigglies - what a dirty and disgusting race; they should all be slaughtered like the pigs that they are."   

The funny thing, he was a half-elf!


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## nskarvan

"Cowboy Rage!"

From a Deadlands game in which I play a gunslinger.  Another player entered the game, also playing a gunslinger, and our characters hit it off immediately since we shared the same Enemy.  Whenever the two of us get the opportunity to sling some serious lead, we shout "Cowboy Rage!" and mime firing our guns into the air.  Taken from the movie "Chasing Amy", the "Black rage!" scene.  


"I've got etiquette."  

From a D&D 2E game I ran.  One player, a paladin, was surrounded by enemies and hopelessly outmatched.  He was asked if he had anything which would help him in this situation.  He glanced at his character sheet and sheepishly said, "I've got etiquette."  Afterwards, whenever someone was at a loss for ideas, they'd say it.  


"Hitch # [X]"

From another D&D 2E game I ran.  The players would come up with these ridiculously detailed plans to deal with situations, fully aware they were overplanning but determined to make them work.  As problems arose (which they inevitably would), they'd keep track of them by chorusing "Hitch Number One!"  "Hitch Number Two!" and so forth.


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## EliasVaughn

Whenever the group gets amazingly off-topic or lapses into marginally in-character joking around, I took to saying variations of the following:

I roll a Search check to find the plot.

The incredible thing is, the first time I made a plot Search, I rolled a natural 20. It just seemed to stick from there.

Additionally, should something good happen, a group member may invoke a celebration by saying "And there was much rejoicing!" to which everyone else must reply "Yay ..."

The key is, no one person may invoke such a celebration more than three times a night. (I was abusing it ...)


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## Anabstercorian

Every single one of my attack rolls is a called shot to the face.  It's kind of my slogan.  "6 points of damage _to the face!_"  "Three Lesser Acid Orbs _to the face!_"  I had to stop because it was driving people crazy.


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## Dave G

Well mine comes from my high level game.  I play a mutant dwarf who uses an Orc-Double Axe, gets massive attacks per round and is kind of the front-line party battler.

A few years back when Star Wars Episode I came out there was a clip of the duel between Darth Maul and Obiwan and Qui-Gon Jinn, they had editted it to the tune of Kid Rock's Bawitaba.  I was a pretty big Kid Rock fan, so after my first really great series of attacks I started chanting:

"Bawitaba-dang-a-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy-said-the-boogie-so-up-jump-the-boogie"

Now any time someone does a spectacular set of strikes, two or three players will start in with the bawitaba...


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## Writer@Large

Great thread!

A couple from my group:

*"7d12" or "70-12"*

Our code for a ridiculously or impossibly high number, either as in a skill check ("I want to jump over the Ettin and attack his left eye while I'm in the air."  "Okay, you'll need to make a 70-12 DC to do it") or as a count ("There's a horde of orcs out there."  "How many?" "7d12.").  Not sure where it originated.

*"Whackity-whackity-thump, it's dead!"*

A player used to say this whenever she rolled her attack dice, for luck.  It's become a common usage good luck charm!

*"I'm gonna take ya to church, boy!"*

A PC paladin worshipped Mayaheine, and over the course of a few adventures, "Mayaheine" became, thanks to another player who's good with voices, the voice and accent of phony psychic Miss Cleo [IIRC it began with a _divination_ spell] whenever the paladin would pray, cast spells, seek guidence, or otherwise commune with his goddess.  The above line became the catch-phrase for the whole joke, and eventually, every god was talking like Miss Cleo in that game.  Now, we just toss it out to be funny.

--W@L


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## Greatwyrm

"I kick him in the Johnson!"
--our Bugbear Rog/Ftr using Dirty Fighting for his mighty d4 extra damage


"We DEA the room."
--doing the traditional, overly-thorough search of a room


"Oh, an Item of Obviousness."
--used to describe several magic items, mostly from earlier editions, such as Chair of Sitting, Pillow of Restful Sleep, etc.


"I'm making adobe."
--used by someone who rolled poorly enough on initiative that he will be going late enough in the round that he should have time to build a small wall from mud bricks to aid in his defense


"He got plasmated!"
--doing enough damage to an enemy that he might go straight from a state of solid/liquid matter to plasma


"Where's the Cleric in a Stick?"
--who has the Wand of Cure Light Wounds


"If you do that, you're coming back as a squirrel."
--a warning and reminder to anyone planning something overly stupid that the only character in the party capable of reviving the dead is a druid


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## threshel

*Surprised my guys haven't been here yet...*

But I guess I got here first.  

*Dire Lion* 
verb.  To take an opponent from full hit points to below -10 in one series of multiple attacks (FRA, Pounce, whatever). Thanks to Dorain for this one, he was DM.

*Bisoned* 
verb.  The antithesis of Dire line.  To be turned into a fine pink mist in one strike.  Originates from my summoned celestial bison's encounter with the cloud giant king.  It's always used in that form: "Bisoned, " as in "you'll get bisoned," or "he got bisoned."


J


----------



## MaxKaladin

I forget exactly what we were fighting now, but it was nasty.  So nasty that there were jokes about disbelieving it because it had to be an illusion.  Well, the DM announces that the monster is attacking one of the druids in the party.  The druid announces "I disbelieve!" and the DM missed.  This went on for the rest of the combat with the DM telling him not to say it anymore and the druid emerging unscathed.  Since then, we announce "I disbelieve" whenever the DM is attacking with a nasty monster and we want to try to jinx him.


----------



## grimslade

*Game quotes*

We had a few that became mantras

"Twang! Skitter Skitter"

We had a ranger in 2E who had an amazing ability to role 2's on a d20. The bow would twang and the arrows would skitter across the floor. Used anytime a palyer missed with a bow.

"I am one with the opposite direction!"

This was a credo for a cowardly bard in an old campaign. He had it translated into Latin and worked into his family crest. (the player not the character) It became a call for the party to perform a tactical retreat. 

"We're going home in a bag!"

Not from my group but overheard at many a con. Generally stated in LG mods when facing a superior enemy.

Grimslade


----------



## Furn_Darkside

Salutations,

I just recalled another-

Characters who become "honored members of the negative nine club" for those who are saved at the last moment.

FD


----------



## Zog

"I've got this Net!"

1st Level party, trailing an Ogre.  Quick party conference - Okay, what do we do about the ogre?  Fighter pips up with the now famous (amoung my gaming group) "Well, I've got this Net..."

"OH NO, You Met Shelob!"

from the old Middle Earth Role playing system, aka Rolemaster Lite.  In the Cirth Ungol and Shelob lair set, there was a random monster table.  If you rolled double zeros - it literally said "OH NO, YOU MEET Shelob!"  Shelob's stats were, um, Epic.  Capable of ripping *any* party to shreds.  So, now anytime percentile are rolled, and a 0-0 comes up, at least one person says "You Met Shelob!"


----------



## Swack-Iron

*Oh, this is a precious thread!*

"Blah"
Our oldest catchphrase. When the DM has a long scene with only one character, often including great masses of plot-inducing dialog that takes many minutes to roleplay, and the rest of the players hear all of it but don't participate, "blah" is the inevitable summary. "So, what did the evil overlord say?" Answer: "Blah."

"La"
Usually our bard's first action in a combat is to sing, of course. Signified by the player saying "La!"

"The luck of Bill"
Bill is an incredible player. Almost always crits. His mid-level fighter took down a moderately powerful demon in one hit recently. Always count on the Luck of Bill to destroy any DM creation.

"Wall of beef!!!"
In another game my intricate encounter in the lost Abby of Helm where my happless players were to face a frightening array of Drow and worshipers of Shar working together, the entire encounter was destroyed (well, from my standpoint anyway) when on round 2 the cleric successfully summoned 3 celestial bison. Very angry celestial bison, I might add. *sigh*

"Non-dairy creamer?"
Our second oldest catchphrase. Taken from the movie The Big Hit. Generally used between two weaker party members when they can't do squat to hurt a bad guy, but the fighter or wizard can annihilate it in one round.


----------



## Hammerhead

"Save vs Sword:"  What fighters force mages to do if the fighter makes his save versus spell.


----------



## J'quan

Oh yes, Swack-Iron, you loved the wall of beef! 

*And one time, at bard camp...* 
For some reason, our bard pulled this during a session.  I only heard it after-the-fact, having missed the game, but it's been a classic since.

*Someone take the safety strip off <player's> <weapon>*
Used when said player, usually a fighter-type, can't hit for any amount of damage consistently.

*I hit him for 12*_Remember bard song?_* 14... I hit him for 14!*
We sometimes forget when the Harmonized bard song, or Prayer, is up.  One day, we're going to start carrying Roman-like banners with spell effects listed.  Once one is cast, the banner is raised in its glory.


----------



## Andrew D. Gable

*I'm gonna give him some lovin'.*
Said jokingly when attacking as a mockery of what an ex-PC _always_ said in the same situation.

*Wiggity wiggity wack* or *My eye....b-----!*
Said...well...anytime.  From songs, natch.

AND FINALLY.........

[drumroll]

*Where are the Cheetos?*


----------



## Renaissance Man

"Gnome bard" - a euphemism for an utterly useless character.  (Sorry to all you gnome bards out there.  If it's any consolation, mine was the prototype for this expression.)


----------



## Admiral Ray

*"Get in the bag."*

_Wind Walk_, _Teleport_, and similar spells don't affect that many people, so we use bags of holding/portable holes to store other party members until we get to where we need to be.

This is usually said when one or two people want to go, but others don't. Example:

PC1: *points* "Get in the bag." 
PC2: "We're being hasty. I don't..."
PC1: "In the bag!"
PC2: "I think..."
PC1: _"In da bag!"_


----------



## machine

Talath said:
			
		

> *
> 
> 3. Thats What She Said.
> 
> Sometimes one of us says something which can be taken the wrong way (for example, "take that out of your mouth") and then one of us will say in response, "Thats what she said".
> *





ROFLMAO!!!

[composing self] Um, er, it's funny.


----------



## CWD

"Darklord in a can"

Came from a Ravenloft game in which a character, through an incredible series of dice rolls, trapped a ghostly darklord in an item similar to an iron flask.  They carried it around for a while, but couldn't leave the domain with it, so they left it at the domain border (they weren't dumb enough to let it out).

Now when someone has a really dangerous one-shot item (like say a scroll of "meteor swarm") they refer to it as a "darklord in a can".


"Ping!"
Originally from a Shadowrun campaign, I use this term to indicate that player has failed to overcome a monster's DR.  This is usually followed by the following exclaimation from the player "Ping?  What do you mean ping?  I can't hit it any harder!"


----------



## machine

Trevalon Moonleirion said:
			
		

> *
> EDIT 2:  But wait, there's more!
> This is from when Fayredeth was DMing.  I was playing my rather ugly cleric of ...oh I can't even remember the god or godess in his world.  Anyhow, I solve a puzzle in this maze and Fay describes various things while I'ms till wandering around.  He seems to be gettting frustrated but I'm not really sure why.  He then jumps up and says "[INSERT GOD NAME HERE] appears in front of you, bitchslaps you and tells you to get out of the ****ing maze!!!" *




ROFLMAO!!!

Now that's really funny!


----------



## Telor

Earlier in our campain: Said by our monk, "I need to taunt the orcs into chasing me." Said by me (DM), "What exactly do you do?" Monk, "I run to the door, kick it open, and swing my willy around in a circle and run away." [It worked very well.]

In the Pool of Radiance module, said by our monk, "I attack the naked guy with a flurry of blows."

When anything else homo-erotic happens we always refer to our sexually confused monk.

-Telor


----------



## madriel

I played a mage in a Warhammer campaign a few years ago.  Any time I blasted somebody with a fireball I called it giving them terminal sunburn.


----------



## Reno

1) We had been playing 3e with a new player, we were about to enter a cavern when the new player said, " Just a sec, I look in the cavern with my Intelligence."

2) "FOR GREAT JUSTICE"  A paladin used to run around saying this constantly.  He used it as a battle-cy initially, but now whenever one of us crits we say Great Justice. 

3) 
Me (DM): Ok, as you stroll over the crest of the hill you see some demons talking below you.
Ranger: How many?
Me: 78.
ME: *Checking Notes*
Me: I mean 2.
Now whenever I or anyone else isnt sure of a number, they say 78.

4) Pinch his ass
One time, we needed to distract a guard so our thief could get by easily, the sorceror of the group used a cantrip on the guard. Cantrip: Pinch, the guard turned to see what the hell happened and our thief got past without incident. Now whenever we need to distract something we tell the sorceror to pinch its ass.


----------



## Xar666

Skill: Mangina

The ranger in our group was a cowardly person.  His character was not supposed to be this way, but the guy playing him was always getting nervous. (He had already died twice)  So any time a situation may have the possibility of getting bad, he was always the first to suggest the party run away. One time, the party rogue said, roll your special Mangina check.  That was it, it stuck.


----------



## Castellan

*"I swing my weapon heroically!"*
Said by any player who misses on his/her attack roll: "I step up to the Orc Chieftain and... (die roll) ... swing my weapon heroically."

*"Waist-high one-eye"*
As part of the back-story for one of the characters in my campaign, one of the players gave his dwarf fighter a huge head-scar from a severe axe-strike, resulting in blindness in one eye. He randomly rolled up his height, and ended up being pretty short. Everyone in the party refers to him as *waist-high one-eye*.

*Vallejo fish*
A PC named Vallejo, in a particular encounter, jumped into an underground pool to look for some goodies at the bottom. He ended up being captured by nixies, and the other party members began calling him *Vallejo fish* (i.e. fillet-o'-fish).


----------



## Sulimo

*"Whats the weather like?"* 

In an old MERP game, we had a large party (about 12 PC's) and we were travelling through the countryside when one of the rangers asked "Whats the weather like?" Anyway the GM proceeded to determine weather randomly and proceeded to make a huge open-ended high roll (400+) - we got a cyclone so immense it hadn't been seen in Middle Earth for many an age. The party got totally scattered - hit by fly trolls, trees, lightning...

Since then its been a common phrase whenever a party goes out into the wilderness - and it follows by people hiding under the table in fear of the result.


----------



## freedoms_edge

There's a guy in our group (Spider_Jerusalem) who seems to have a habit of coming up with quotes for his characters that get copied by books/films/games etc about a year after he said them.  Example:

His Star Wars character:
"They didn't teach us that at the academy!"
Appeared on an Young Jedi Knight card about two years later (one of the bravo fighters)

"He did not know who he was f@ck?ng with!!!"
Another SW character, a trandosh jedi who had just literally snapped a dark jedi's neck.  Quoted by Blade in Blade II, about 6 months after the guy said it.

Those are just two of many...


----------



## Ganelon

"We can take these bears"

Originally said by my character to the PC I was sharing watch with.  The point was the Mages needed their sleep to get their spells back, so I said "Don't wake the others, we can take these bears."  This was rapidly proved incorrect.

It is now regularly used when we're speculating about a fight we don't think we can win.

Oh, and while this one isn't a recurring phrase, I just thought I'd share with you the daftest thing I've ever heard a player say:

"Using simple sign language, I tell them my friend has gone to question their houseplant."


----------



## wolff96

Well. Some of these are fantastic. Here's my contribution.

I was playing an archer who was pretty well designed around archery. On a particular roll, I scored a 43 once all the buffs and attack modifiers were factored in.

So I asked "Does a 43 hit?"

The DM replied: "Yeah, a 43 hits..." then he added, under his breath "Jesus Christ". 

Of course, we immediately strung that together into a single sentence. 

Thus, Jesus Christ has an AC of 43. 

So now, if anyone mentions his name, the answer is 43.

Likewise, if anyone rolls a check of 43, all the players will immediately chorus "Jesus Christ".


----------



## Spider_Jerusalem

> "He did not know who he was f@ck?ng with!!!"




Yeah, I was stunned when it cropped up in the film. Scared the bejesus outta me.

But you gotta understand that my jedi said this in a moment of utter... uh... _rage_... it doesn't happen all the time... honest... he's not blatantly going darkside!... why won't you believe me?... uh... I'll shut up now.

Spider


----------



## Piratecat

wolff96 said:
			
		

> *So I asked "Does a 43 hit?"
> *




Something similar happened in Sagiro's game.

"Do I hit the orc with a 36?  That's..."  _roll roll_  "40 points of damage from the sneak attack."

"Ummm.... you just killed his family, too."


----------



## Jeremy

We've got a summoner in our game and one of the house rules he scrounged up to try and make his celestial badgers more useful was that instead of just the monsters on the list, he could summon any equally templated version of a given creature provided it was the same CR.

For instance instead of a celestial dog, an earth dog.  Or instead of a fiendish dire ape, an air dire ape.  Well, unforseen by me was the utility of a creature with Fly 100 ft. (perfect) and as much strength as a dire ape.

Soon, any time there was a chasm to cross or a cliff to climb.  Poof.  There's the air ape.  Then, *groan* they began asking the summoner for it.

"Can you ape me across?"

"Can you ape me up there, I want to check something out."

Besides many evil looks, I also started saying if they kept this up the FedEx Gorilla was going to start scanning and charging them for these deliveries.


----------



## njorgard

*The Good Ol' Days...*

I remember when I used to play with a couple of friends back in Puerto Rico we used to come up with all sorts of colorful phrases we turned into running jokes.  Some of these loose their comedic value in the translation from Spanish.  Nevertheless here are some of the ones I remember...

1. Eatin' Popcorn - Used when a player is doing absolutely nothing in the game session because his/her character has been taken out of comission or is out of the picture.  "Hey guys, I'm seriously eatin' some popcorn here!!! Come get my character!!!"

2. Toweling (Toallazo!!! in Spanish) - When the DM saves a character from certain doom by grace alone.  Derived from the boxing term "throwing in the towel".

3. When a character is not contributing to the action in the game we say that he/she was looking at his/her genitals (kinda rough and obscene).

4. The Hammer Drop (el "marronazo" in Spanish) - When the DM begins to rail the characters into certain situations by fudging dice rolls and manipulating the outcome of events.  "Hey...I know I made that save vs. paralization!  I'm feeling the hammer drop on me dude!!!"


----------



## Lilith

*Gamer's Famous Last Words*

There are many, and here are the ones my gamer friends have coined...

I loot the body.

I punch the demon.

Oops, my bad. (said by my character the Explosive Ordinance Disposal Specialist. You can guess what happened from there)

We can take him. (a common catchphrase when presented with a very high-powered NPC/monster.)


----------



## Lilith

*Player Critical Fumbles...or just really bad rolls*

I have a player who every time he makes a failed roll (spot, search, etc), he doesn't tell me the number he rolled. Usually, it goes something like this...

"Wow. I have really cool shoes."
"Oooooooo. Pretty."
"Damn, I look good."

 

Needless to say, they all end up being exceptionally funny and deflate what could be a really bad situation.


----------



## Doctor Doom

VrrrreeeeEEEEEEEEEEEe

-sound effect made whenever a fighter type hits with multiple attacks and cleaves.


Just then a giant Roc swoops down and grabs (character's name) and flies off.
...
And at that moment, (character's name) falls from the sky and lands with a thud. 

-This is when a player isn't at a session, to explain where their character goes off to (it works even in dungeons or caves).


player: Can I (something dumb)
DM: (Pause)... wait for it... (pause)... (pause)... no.


Ow! My liver!
-uttered after being critted. Stolen from Beavis and Butthead


-Throws weapon- Eh, I didn't need that (+5holy defender or super power weapon) anyway.
-in our game fumbles mean you've dropped your weapon.


----------



## Teflon Billy

Doctor Doom said:
			
		

> *
> 
> player: Can I (something dumb)
> DM: (Pause)... wait for it... (pause)... (pause)... no.
> *




Hah!...This is gold


----------



## Agback

Glaurung said:
			
		

> *"there are no rocks in the forest" ... this quote ensued and is used whenever the DM describes a patently ridiculous situation. *




There is a fairly famous short story by, I think, Henry Lawson, about a traveller who goes into the pub at Walgett and runs on at leangth about what a pathetic river the Barwon is, about how it wouldn't even count as a creek on the coast, etc. One of the locals bets him five pounds that he can't throw a rock from one bank to the other. The traveller accepts the bet and spends a whole afternoon trying to find a rock....

When I went to Walgett in 1985 I carried a rock with me, and spent a whole fortnight of afternoons trying to taunt a local into repeating the famous bet. No soap.

There are places with no rocks. And if they get more rain than Walgett, most are good places to grow forests.

Think alluvium!


Agback


----------



## Gilladian

Cold porridge.

See, we had this halfling, who was in charge of breakfast, which he was supposed to cook while he was on third watch. So for some reason the player decided to roll a cooking skill roll (which he had quite a good score in, for some reason). He rolled a 1. So he decided that breakfast that morning was burnt up.

When the rest of us awoke, we were rather pissed. So we searched our character sheets for anything else we had in the way of breakfast rations (this party was rather "into" their inventories). It seemed the dwarf had a large keg of beer in the wagon. Of course, beer is cold, and made from grain. The halfling quickly dubbed it "cold porridge" and dished it out.

So we had "cold porridge" for breakfast.

In turn, now, whenever something looks suspiciously inedible, we say "I'll have cold porridge instead." Or we offer it to people, who turn it down in disgust, and then we go have a drink.

Gilladian


----------



## bloodymage

*Now where did I put my foam rubber baseball bat?*

Said by me when my players are being particularly obtuse. Picked up by them when one of their number is particularly dense ("Get out the foam rubber baseball bat."). Until, finally, one of my players actually _brought_ a foam rubber baseball bat to the game!


----------



## La Bete

Werewolf Pants.

Problems with ripping up all your clothes when changing form? Wear Werewolf Pants. (which are just sweat pants with really stretchy elastic waistband)


The Honk of Derision.

One player, when someone else did something dopey, would do this freaky honking/hooting sound. Whats bizzare is that after a while we all started doing it, or trying to, IN the game. One session we used it to find each other when the party was separated.... (werewolf again)

Lay on the healing tongue.

(any paladin using laying on of hands ability. juvenile, yes, but funny at the time)

Because.... I'm the man!

Response when another player queries how your character hit/made a check, did lots of damage because of special abilities the GM has secretly given your character.

Generally provokes intraparty violence.


----------



## Grommilus

I've got a plus # to drown.

Considering our first few 3e games, where most the characters wore heavy armor, we had huge penalties to swim, so we looked on the bright side.

Crap, Init 23, I'm gonna die.

Said by the half orc fighter Scrag, cause he usually rolls bad init, but when he rolls well, he gets severly injured.  Additional: there was this one time when we faced a barbaran, he rolled the best init in the party, and instead of attacking, he chose to defensivly assist my barbarian, but the second character to act was our foe, he charged me, criticaled with his mercerial greatsword, and nearly killed me.  I was giving the orc the evil eye the whole night.

Don't go down the well.

During a dungeon hack, there was a well that we were repeatedly told led to a more dangerous section of the dungeon.  When we got to level 9, we decided to attempt it, and after our first fight down there, with a pack of displacer beasts that we completly owned, our monk sarcastically said "don't go down the well"  later that night, after going thru a teleport maze, we got into a fight with some Minotaurs that could go etheral, and we were almost wiped out, if it had not been for my bard cohort turning the cleric invisable and the cleric keeping me and the half orc alive with heals.  after the fight, the monk said "don't go down the well" emphaticly.  Used since for times when we scoff at danger only to come near to death.

"Never lie to Jimmy"

I was playing a dumb Fighter(int 9), who was discovered in the travels of the group (I had just lost a character and this was my replacement). They were on a quest to recover a treasure that had been lost in the local mountians that belonged to Jimmy, a gnomish king. As we recovered the treasure, my fighter found a shiny ring, which he took a liking to, so he kept it. When we returned to Jimmy he asked if we had turned in all the treasure. I of course said yes, and making a decent roll on my bluff, as well as Jimmy's reaction which was to say, "ok" and then hand out our rewards, I was satisfied I had fooled him. Later that night on my character's watch I was asked to make a spot roll, which I failed, then a reflex, which I also failed. So the DM informed me I was now a pincushion for about 20 arrows. I said "Ok I make a gurgling noise", the DM had the rest of the party make listen checks, the only one to awaken was our druid, who saw a group of darkly clad men walk forward, decapitate my character and take the ring. They turned to the druid and simply said "We weren't here, you didn't see us, and never lie to Jimmy"
after that the phrase "Don't lie to Jimmy" became the thing to say when some one was about to do something very stupid.

Where's my nerf stick...

A line used, in reference to the wiffle ball bat that's normally in my living room, to discourage the use of stupidly powerful home brewed rules.

Slowly raising your right hand to cover your eyes.

In one game I played, we had a monk played by my friend Alex, who wore artifact level gloves.  We had a wizard who never payed attention to the game, but the DM told him we were in a battle and he cast his signature spell called Death Marshmellow, which summoned a slowly falling flamming marshemellow that would explode in a nuclear blast.  The monk, seeing the falling marshmellow and knowing he was in range, slowly raised his hand over his eyes.  After the explosion, the only parts of him with flesh were his hands, in the gloves, and a hand shaped area of his face.  Now slowly raising your hand over your eyes means that you accept your incoming doom.


----------



## MeepoTheMighty

Furn_Darkside said:
			
		

> *Salutations,
> 
> And I like to, jokingly, encourage the players to pk each other.
> 
> FD *




Better watch out with that one.  My players would do it in a heartbeat, and then ask how much xp they got for the kill.


----------



## ShadowStitch

*Good times, man, good times.*

Total newbie, I had to register JUST for this thread.

Reading all of these brought back some great memories of years past, playing and DM'ing (mostly AD&D2e.  Here's a few of ours:

*"Magical Dogass"*
   Whenever we would encounter a terrible creature that could easily kill us all, the Barbarian in our group would always "dog-ass run" away.  "I'm going to run away, in fact, I'm going to DOG-ASS run." 
Eventually, the DM gave the player an item for his dedication to the phrase; a magical strip of leather headband that increased his movement rate by a negligible amount. 
   Any quickly souring encounter with a "boss" would have players chiming, "Time to strap on the dogass!"

*"Get the Phone!"*
   Once, during a serious and heavy roleplaying scene in which my cleric was communing with his Goddess, our DM launched into a terribly dramatic speech.  Everyone was silent, as the DM recited a speech he had obviously memorized for the occasion, ignoring the noises from an adjacent room...until the telephone rang... and in the middle of his speech, without a pause, he shouted, "GET THE PHONE!"  
   This immediately shattered the mood, and I shouted, "Yes, my lady! I will get the phone for you, no matter the cost!"
   After the laughter subsided, the DM realized the damage had already been done. For the rest of that character's tenure, it was a semi-OOC joke that he always asked the local parishes about an artifact called "the phone." (He never found it.)

*"Johnny Ranger and Damyu"*
   One of the groups I gamed with included a tall, mostly silent player, whose Ranger character was named Johnny. 
Johnny Ranger, as we called him, wasn't known for his eloquence, but he could make dice rolls that would turn vegas pros green with envy. With a bastard sword in one hand, and a magic long sword in the other, he was our primary offense, and when his turn came up to fight, the entire table would chant, "Johnny RAAANGERRR!!" The DM had to make battles harder, because he was so ruthlessly efficient and had the devil's own luck.
   Games later, the player might be a drow mage or a half-elven bard, and yet he would always be called to bat by a chorus of "JOHNNNY RAANGERRRR!"

   Johnny Ranger also had a large warhorse that was contractually obligated to him, as per the rules of the game; but being the quiet, largely unimaginative sort, Johnny didn't name his horse for quite some time.  The horse would constantly balk at his orders, and each command was invariably followed by "Damn you!" 
   After a few gaming sessions of, "Get over here, Damn you!" or "Attack that thing, damn you!" The horse began responding to the name "Damyu."  In successive other campaigns without Johnny, whenever someone would say, "Damn you." Someone else at the table would mutter an imitation of a horse neighhing, and the DM would look around conspiratorily.

*"Cockroached"* 
   OUR solution to the whole absent player problem was a curse that had been placed upon us by a god of mischeif, so that occasionally, one of our ranks would turn into a cockroach.  Of course, this only happened when a player was absent, but it was easy enough to have a cockroach scurry into one of our bags and wait for the next game.

*"Piffed and Splapped"*
   Like all groups, we had our own little pet phrases for attacks and damage...
   During a gruesome battle with an archlich, our DM puncutated a hit on one of the PCs with a loud "pfff!" sound, and announced that the pc was now a pile of dust. After killing the lich, scooping our comrades up in baggies, and appropriating his "Rod of Disentegration", "piff" became the verb and the sound effect for a successful disentegration. 
   One battle, Johnny Ranger dropped his handful of attack dice, and ended up delivering damage equal to at least three times the monster's HP to said monster, to which one of us players leering over his shoulder cried "AWWW...SPLAP!!" After that, any hit that severely damaged an enemy, or in the case of Johnny Ranger versus a Kobold, splattered its entirety into a greasy puddle, would be punctuated by a visceral "SPLAP!"
Like Piff, Splap is a verb and a sound. 

*"Minty Green Incense Sticks"*
   In some old "Dungeon" magazine somewhere, I read an article where someone wrote about players deviating from the storyline, and sarcastically mentioned something about the theif sneaking into the church to steal minty green incense sticks. 
   During a game I DM'ed, I had to corral my players who all-too-frequently broke out of the adventure and ignored the plot, and I strongly advised them to stop hunting for Minty green incense sticks, and get back to their room. 
   They got a kick out of the phrase, and from then on, any game I ran or played with those people, the term "Minty green incnese sticks" became a synonym for aimlessly wasting time, seperating the party, distracting other players, or any other personal endeavor detrimental to the plotline.

(As a side note, In a later campaign, illegal trafficking in minty green incense sticks became a major part of the game, and the focus for quite a few adventures...)

Thanks for the memories, you've made me want to start up a game all over again.


----------



## Richards

Here's one from today's gaming session: The current party consists of a human fighter, an elven sorcerer, and a half-elven druid with a dire wolf animal companion.  We've never really bothered detailing the specifics as to who in the party is actually mapping out the dungeons as the party goes through them; I just draw out each room and show the players what they see, and we assume somebody in the party's actually taking the time to draw it all out.  (They keep their maps after each adventure, and sometimes return to do further exploring.)

Today, the PCs were checking out a multi-level, domed building in an abandoned kuo-toa city.  The building is circular in shape, with a spiral staircase in the center leading up to each level.  As I was drawing the third level, the circle I had made as my guideline for the building's exterior was really sloppy and not very circular at all.  When I was called on it, I merely replied, "Well, that's what you get for letting the wolf draw the map."

Johnathan


----------



## alsih2o

a hi-ho howdy to shadow stitch! welcome to the boards!


----------



## thg jim

A few old ones:

*Save the cleric!* 

Our party, while very powerful, was small and always in need of healing.  The cleric even started wearing the Red Cross as his sign.
.....
We once fell into a river.  The dwarf's descent, who was wearing full plate and completely loaded down, was described as:

The Dwarf falls.
The river opens up.
The Dwarf hits the river bottom.
The river closes over the Dwarf's body.

Jim Govreau
Director of Thunderhead Games for MEG


----------



## abri

"wrong bag":
In a mage game (in the near future), we ended up in a templar's headquarter. Of course we were found: to cover our exit I threw my backpak (all our packs were equipped with 1lb of C4 and a detonator for this purpose). It's after I threw the bag than I realised than my backpack also contained 30lbs of experimental unstable explosive...
Now we use this sentence to mean "RUN, FAST, NO REALLY RUN!!!"


----------



## Lurch

1. "Dibs on the armor!"

In the early days of my gaming group, I had a player who ran a typically sticky-fingered rogue.  In their first adventure, the party joined forces with a very elderly knight on his last quest.  Keep in mind I had already informed the party repeatedly (in response to repeated questioning) that the knight's gear was extremely old, battered and rusty, and had about as much life left in it as the knight himself.  At the end of the adventure the heroes confronted the main bad guy, and in the course of the battle the old knight delivered the final blow at the cost of his own life.  As I described the villain's last desperate sword swing landing with such force that the knight's helmet was knocked off and the old man crumpled, the rogue, sensing the knight's demise, yells "dibs on the armor!" before the guy could even finish hitting the ground.  Since then the term has applied to any party member prematurely grabbing for fallen "loot," or making a grab for any obviously worthless item.

2. "meat shield": any character being used as cover by another character, whether intentional or not.  Also used as a reference to hostage-taking ("meat shields up!").


----------



## MarauderX

Players when they don't believe what they are facing:
"I want to roll to disbelieve"

It all sprung out of one fast adventure where the PCs were expecting to fight something around every corner only to have the party dwindle one by one to their 'fantasies'.  Basically whenever they would look into these mirror-like walls they would start to see lots of riches, a large castle, beautiful women, etc. that would draw them closer... and the more the player looked the harder the save became.  So they caught on quickly and realized that the sooner they rolled the easier it was to disbelieve, they would automatically ask to roll to disbelieve even when faced by the BBEG.


----------



## EricNoah

Wigga-Wigga -- when you're going to cast a spell but you're not ready to say what spell exactly.  You wiggle your fingers like a wizard when you say it.

Thinka-Thinka -- same as above, but for psionic powers.


----------



## Agamon

My Living Greyhawk group has a few catchphrases:

"We Greyhawk the bodies." - This comes from the fact that in the first year of LG, you only got any loot in the game if you stripped the bodies of your enemies down and took _everything_.  Refers to the fact that LG is the only game that one really does this...

"It's the Vampire Lich King!" - The first mod the group played involved lots of undead.  The party decided that the leader must have been a "Vampire Lich King".  It turned out to be a ghast with cleric levels, but everyone one convinced otherwise.  Now if the the big bad of an adventure is ever in doubt, someone quips, "This looks like the work of the Vampire Lich King!"



			
				Doctor Doom said:
			
		

> *player: Can I (something dumb)
> DM: (Pause)... wait for it... (pause)... (pause)... no.
> *




Consider this "Yoinked"


----------



## Henry

*"Ah, Screw It!"* has become an official expletive for any mages in our parties with fireball prepared, due to one particular player's habit of using it as his version of, _"Fire In The Hole!"_

"Picture it!" I still hear this phrase echoed back to me. I used to run a WEG Star Wars game, and used this phrase to start about 4 sessions in a row, to open with a cut scene. It somehow became my players' great amusement.


----------



## Henry

After checking the start date on this thread, I'm beginning to like the phrase that Chronosome coined:

"Thread Necromancers!"


----------



## Olgar Shiverstone

That would be a "Threadcromancer".

_Pulling out a holy symbol, Olgar attempts to banish the foul thread back to the depths of the message board from whence it came ... *TURN, DURN YA! TURN!*_


----------



## Sejs

DM:  Alright, Dual-Wielding Fighter Character - you're up for initiaive.

DWFC:  Okay, I take a 5' adjustment up to that orc, and full attack.

*miss*
*miss*
*miss*
*miss*
*miss*


....*miss*

DM:  *blinks*


Right, you procede to beat the air into a bloody froth.


----------



## crater

Thanks to my brother who never misses an opportunity, after slaying any low-grade undead we now declare that we _´search the zombies for treasure´._ 

It works for skeletons too.


----------



## Zappo

*Ferret*
A small, cute creature which will cut your throat open in the night.

*Assault Ferret*
A tougher ferret which won't wait for the night.

*"I'm rearranging his organs in alphabetical order"*
Self-explainatory.

There's one I use with my wookie in a SW game. I've got about the highest Strength score conceivable in that game (18 base, wookie, rage, maxed enhance ability, totals up to something like 30). Everyone else in the galaxy, naturally, tends to have Strength 10 or so and use guns.
So, as the NPC attempts to get away from melee so that he can shoot with his gun, I'll just grin and make a motion with my arms as if effortlessly picking up something large and holding it close. That means "attack of opportunity; I grapple him".


----------



## Delemental

Any time someone rolls a 1 on a Spot check...

"Pretty rock." (They were obviously distracted by it)

Whenever anyone spouts rules to the DM...

"Check out the big brain on _______." (Stolen from Pulp Fiction)

When entering combat...

"Set the barbarian on 'frappe'."


----------



## MrZoink

"Tactical with-treat"

It's a tactical withdrawal or retreat.

Somehow, I've been in two groups that use that phrase, and I'm sure that I'm not the one that carried it from one to the other. I'm the only guy in either of those groups that doesn't use that term.


----------



## Privateer

"I make a run check"

This is used to represent someone high tailing it away.  A player commented on how although there are jump and swim checks, there wasn't a check that best represented his current stratagy.  And the phrase was born.

"I DUCK!"

Used when the DM begins describing a suspicious room.  (I love being the DM...)

"I don't wiggle, I just bleed."

This originated when, as DM, I called for a player's actions when he was in negative hit points.  It's used whenever someone is laying on the ground, bleeding, which has a tendancy to come up a surpizing amount.

"That's more fun then a bear full of gunpowder!"

Don't ask.


----------



## EricNoah

"I crap my pants" -- announced on your initiative when you can't think of anything else to do and you're in way over your head.

"I crap my pants, twice" -- as above, but only when hasted.  (Haste makes waste, after all!)


----------



## EricNoah

"He drops his claw [or teeth]" -- when a creature with natural weapons rolls a 1.  Yeah, I know, 3e doesn't have critical fumbles -- but it should!


----------



## Anavel Gato

All of these are great.  I don't think my group has nearly the quality of some of these.  But I'll give it a shot:

Our more arrogant players will roll a 19, or 20 and instead of saying natural 19 or 20 they say "19 _naturally_" in a cocky voice.  

When they do score a critical hit we use the optional damage table, like "throat cut" or "arm broken" and as the DM rolls the mantra "come on something good" is shouted usually.

I have a ranger named Lysander, well he is 10th level and his mainstay is killing giants.  the DM put us in the First Giants module and being in character Lysander attacked every giant.  needless to say he died several times (this was second edition before I crossed him over, he had a CON of 16 or 17...when the module was done it was 12).  So, when it was his turn he was often reffered to as Dead Guy or mostly dead guy.  Or Ly-dead-er.  

There has been on occassion, farting to enhance spell casting (that is to say the player farts as they tell us what spell they are casting.  works best with fireball), but invariably leads to stinking cloud jokes.  

One player hates when the bad guy gets away or some NPC that really hassled them, so when this happens, he shakes his head and says, "their on the list." (And he does have a list).

As a DM, my players will often finish my statement of how a night without encounters, so I must use this often, "And the night passed uneventfully, as it were."

I'm sure i am missing some.  But I hope those are fun for you all.


----------



## PaulGreystoke

*"It's go time!"* 

The player of a paladin used this catchphrase whenever combat became the only option available.  The DM hated it & docked the player of XP whenever he uttered it - which led to the following:

*"The flag is up!"* 

Out of combat, the party used a single figure as the party marker.  The player of the paladin rigged a flag into the hands of the party marker, with the flag down out of combat.  But when the party entered combat he would raise the flag, instead of using the banned phrase "It's go time!"  When a character needed an excuse for doing something violent, he would always note that "the flag is up..."

*"He Charlies it."* 

One of our players doesn't like to count squares during combat movement & randomly bounces his miniature around until he drops it in the square he likes.  Now whenever anyone moves a miniature without counting squares we refer to it by his name.

*"I've seen it all before & I've seen better."* 

This was my tagline for a know-it-all character I played way back when.  I still pull it out on occasion when a DM has an NPC or monster do something really over the top in an attempt to impress the players.  Said with the proper tone of weary condescension, it is guaranteed to elicit a vengeful response from the DM. 

*"Right hand rule"*

Whenever we are mapping a dungeon we always take the right hand turn at an intersection, ascribing this to a rule we were taught in Adventurer's School.

*"Left hand rule for Drow"* 

The converse of this is that if we suspect that drow are behind the plot, we use the left hand rule because (as my backwoods drow-hunting ranger character Buckeye used to drawl) "Them drow sure are tricksy!"

*"Fireball Friend or Foe"* 

This is what one player is certain that Fireball should actually be named, given the tendency of party arcanists to be willing to risk some collateral damage to the party in their zeal to nuke our opponents. 

*"Shield Inviso Fly"* 

This is the stereotype by the party fighters of the standard defensive tactics of arcanists at the beginning of combat.  This is derived from an incident where the party was climbing a cliff & the party was attacked by perytons.  While the party struggled strenuously to survive, the party wizard spent the first 3 rounds casting defensive spells on himself.  By the time he was ready to help the party, the battle was over with the party licking its wounds & wishing that the mage had been a wee bit more of a help...

*"I VE him."* 

This is actually from Champions, although it crops up in other games occasionally.  In Champions, a character that was knocked unconscious could revive during combat unless he was at -30 STUN.  Since we didn't want villains that we had knocked unconscious to get back up again, it became standard practice to hit them again once they were down.  (While this was not exactly heroic behavior, it was quite effective...  )  At first, we referred to this as "knocking him into next week", but then one player said: "I'm going to hit him so hard he won't wake up until the Vernal Equinox!"  Eventually this got condensed to the above.


----------



## babomb

"A tree falls on the ___" or "At least a tree didn't fall on the ___"

Once, our DM was trying to include more non-combat encounters. So he rolled a random encounter and decided that a tree had fallen across the path. Later, when we reached the town and ran into other problems trying to get passage on a ship, one of the players quiped, "At least a tree didn't fall on the docks." "A tree falls on the ___" is also used during boring activities.

"I slash with a slash-like slashinism."

One of the players actually used that to describe his attack, and we thought it was funny.

"You guys NEVER ROLEPLAY!"

Used for stupid arguements. At the beginning of one of our campaigns, several of the PCs were slaves. They escaped, then hid in a nearby forest and discussed what they should do next. The DM got mad that they were talking for a long time, so he said the slave drivers found them and attacked. When the players protested, he took all of his stuff and stormed out, yelling "You guys NEVER ROLEPLAY!" (Interesting that he says this after a big IC discussion, huh?) What's worse, he had to come back in because his car was blocked in the driveway. One of the other players took up being DM after that and we continued the campaign.

"Nothing uneventful happens."

The DM apparently wasn't sure whether to say "Nothing eventful happens," or "The night is uneventful." He mixed them together.

"Cool nuts."

The same DM meant to say the idiomatic phrase "Cool beans." Somehow, he got mixed up and said "Cool nuts." (Probably because some of us were eating walnuts.)

"Paper trader"

He said this instead of "perpetrator."

"The choice of NASCAR"

This was on a box of candy we bought for the game one time, and we thought it was funny. "This adventure is the choice of NASCAR!"


----------



## The_Gneech

*"I perform a retrograde maneuver"* -- To run away.

*"I open up the Blade Quisinart"* -- To engage in melee combat, particularly good for multi-wielding types

*"He gets a magic missile up the nose!"* -- Can be applied to any attack really, but I favor it with magic missiles

*"Familiar name -- I choose you!"* -- I use this whenever I release a familiar from a _familiar pocket_

*"I've come to slaughter orcs and eat jerky -- and I'm all out of jerky!"* -- Said on evenings when I'm feeling particularly hack-and-slashy

*"I shoot a tree."* -- Used when I roll a 1 on a ranged attack.

*"You stumble over an unseen, imaginary, deceased turtle."* -- Used for any skill check that comes up 1. From the _Rolemaster_ fumble tables.

   -The Gneech


----------



## Apok

"It's down the hall and to the left"

I used this phrase once in an old D&D game I was running, and it stuck.  Now, everywhere is always down the hall and to the left.

"Cheese Log?"

A friend & fellow gamer once brought a cheese log to the game, just something that he could snack on.  My paladin had just gotten the crap kicked out of him by a Storm Giant, so he picks up the cutting block w/ the log on it and goes, "Man, that was harsh.  Cheese log?"  So now, whenever any character gets royally screwed over, be it in combat or a social situation, we hold our hands out to him and offer him a piece of the cheese log.  

"Monkey de Fromage"

Spoken whenever someone pulls off an especially cheesy combination of manevuers, spells, abilities or feats.  

"I go before everybody... I drool on the floor."

Whenever someone gets knocked into the Dying HP range, someone always shouts this when the initiative order recycles.  

"It's the Devil, burn it!"

Spoken with a thick southern accent.  Used whenever a PC comes across a device or object that they have no idea what it does.  A friend of mine uses this phrase all the time when dealing with machinery of any kind (he's not the most mechanically adept of people).  

"Does he have a mohawk?"

A while ago, I stated that I would never have an important NPC with a mohawk.  My players ask me this whenever they meet an NPC that has more than 2 lines.


----------



## Apok

"I was aiming for the invisible man right next to him."

Spoken when a ranged attack misses.

"These are not the droids you're looking for."

Used when somebody botches a Bluff check.  

"Golf Caddy"

Euphamism for a bag of holding or Heward's Handy Haversack.

"I'm looking for Tommy Tong"

Spoken while doing impromtu sign language with one hand.  Used when somebody isn't paying attention.  Stolen from the movie _The Golden Child_.


----------



## demiurge1138

*"Slit the throats and loot the bodies!"* 
Kinda self-explanatory, and always said by one of my players.

*"Ah! My spleen!" and "Ah! My squeedelyspooch!"* 
Critical hits always seem to hit those two organs.

*"But I was just drinking Pepsi!"* 
When I was just starting a high-level OA game, the party met Hiruma Tetsuo, a powerful samurai NPC. When he introduced himself as a member of the Crab clan, one of my players started snickering. As he had made no attempts to do this OOC, Hiruma drew his wazakashi and rolled a natural 20. With a vorpal weapon. The player's excuse was "But I was just drinking Pepsi!", which is now what everyone says once they've done something stupid in character when they meant to do it out of character.

*Pink mist* 
Often the result of a spectacular attack. 

*A greasy reddish stain* 
Cousin to the pink mist.

Demiurge out.


----------



## Imperialus

We have a few good ones.

"He deserves a star".  Started by my sister.  One session she decided to bring along a book of little gold star stickers that she had picked up somewhere.  Anyhow one of our players did something truely abysably stupid that very night and she turned to him and with a perfectly streight face said "Dwight, you deserve a star for that one" and proceeded to give him a star which he stuck to his character sheet.  Obviously this one gets used whenever someone does or says something stupid.  Some of our character sheets have reasonable collections of stars actually.

"Jimdizzy Jimdizzy Jimdizzy!"  Started by me.  One of my characters had a pair of wings of flying the command word for which just happened to be Jimdizzy.  Anyhow I ended up in a full out retreat with like 10 HP running away from an Ogre with something like 6 or 7 class levels.  I also happened to be a halfling in field plate so my running speed was not exactly marathon like.  I took a flying leap off the edge of a cliff and proceeded to scream the command words as I fell towards the ground.  Now anytime someone is backed into a corner and has no idea how to get their ass out they shout that as they try and pull a hail mary to save themselves.


----------



## Imperialus

Oh, I remembered another good one
"I hit the dwelf".  One of the characters in my group is a dwarf with a bit of a personality disorder that has him convinced he's an elf.  He got on our nerves all the time and we sort of turned him into a group punching bag.  Any time we get frustrated with a situation we generally just blurt out "I hit the dwelf".


----------



## Frostmarrow

"Sheitbugs"

A player who forgot the actual name for mindflayers when he was scouting a head. He spots the mindflayers and runs screaming back to the party yelling "Sheitbugs!!!". Of course we always call them that nowadays.


----------



## Terwox

*We go EEEAST!*
spoken with zombie faces.  said when the players are jokingly saying they want a random encounter, and don't want to think about what they're doing.
well, and there was that game with the level 15 kobolds that was nothing but them heading east, east on their way to elminster's house.  yep.

*uhh... Reinforcements arrive!*
spoken of in reference to an old DM who would always have more adversaries show up when his monsters weren't killing enough party members.  said jokingly when a combat ends after the party mopped up, or sadly when reinforcements actually DO arrive.  "guys, i'm sorry, but reinforcements really do arrive."

*yeah.  thanks max.*
same dm as above liked to play favorites a lot, and kill a certain player off routinely.  so whenever people joke about killing off one of his characters, it's yeah.  thanks max.

*Roll to loot!*
Yes, when a combat ended, people would scream roll to loot!  The fun part was also how quickly people scrambled for die in order to roll to loot...

*yeah, I'm just gonna make a Knowledge: WTF real quick*
spoken whenever a dm would describe some off-the-wall situation that didn't make any sense, be it in or out of game.

this thread rocks!


----------



## Scarbonac

''Uh..cocked die...?''

Usually said after rolling a ''1'' on a d20.



''Does a '1' hit/save/etc. ?''

The other thing said after rolling a ''1'' on a d20.



''Ouch.''


The _other_ other thing said after rolling a ''1'' on a d20.



''My AC is so low that even _I_ can't hit me!''

Used in our 1e-2e campaigns. An alternate phrasing ends ''...even _God_ can't hit me!''



''Lots!''

The response, usually sarcastically, to the DM question ''How many hit points do you have left?'', which normally comes after a ginormous attack from the BBEG (or after saying ''...even _God_ can't hit me!'').



''Is there a man in [city name] who has not slept with my daughter?!?''


Frustrated response of a PC cleric whose daughter (also a PC) is notoriously promiscuous. Based on a line from ''I, Claudius'', spoken by Augustus, played by Brian Blessed (who happens to be the character model for the cleric). Phrase is now a running gag.



''Keel zem, keel zem all...''

Signature phrase of one of my NPCs, first spoken (in an awt-rageous Fronch ox-CENT) by her when she was rescued from a band of gnolls who'd enslaved and, uh...molested her. Now used more-or-less jokingly (often OOC) when someone asks ''what do we do with these [whatever] we've captured?''




''What is your quest?''

Often said jokingly, OOC, when the party meets a new PC or NPC.



''_Fireball_..._fireball_...how's that go...?''


Said usually before unleashing Hell on Earth upon the BBEG in the form of a _fireball_ spell or some other reasonably-flashy high-damage spell. Sometimes replaced with ''...you hear the ominous sound of pages rustling...'' From _Dragonlancs_, of course.


''What's it gots in its pocketses...?''


Said when looting a foe, whether it actually has ''pocketses'' or not.



''...you _slime_...'' or just ''..._sliiiiiiiiime_...''


Usually spoken by my DM, when we kill one of her BBEGs, particularly if we take (in her opinion) undue advantage of a slip-up on the NPC's part.



''...my theory, which is mine and belongs to me..''

Usually said when one party member is relating his hypothesis about what's going on behind the scenes or why a thing is a the way that it is; originally from a _Monty Python_ sketch.



''...here's a kiss for you...'''


Said by one of my characters before she blasts an enemy out of their boots. From the ZBS SF radio play ''Ruby: Adventures Of A Galactic Gumshoe'', about a tough-as-nails female private eye on an alien planet; Ruby's favorite weapon is her Smith-Hitachi Godzilla-Blaster, but I make do with a wand or spell.



''Hey, _suckah_! Suck on _this_!'' 

Another Ruby phrase that has worked its way into my PC's dialogue, said usually before snuffing some poor bastard's life out, via sword, arrow or zap.


''...dies of fright!'', ''...invites us all to tea!'', ''...gives us his treasure and goes off on his merry way!'', ''...lays his/her sword at our feet!'', ''...trips and impales him/herself on his/her pointed shoes!'', ''...surrenders!'' or the like.


Various attempts, usually quite desperate, by PCs to finish a phrase by the DM, regarding the next action that the BBEG will take, which generally start ''He/She turns slowly and...''. ''He/She looks up and...'', ''He/She smiles and...''. The DM usually finishes the phrase with ''...actually, make a saving throw.'',  ''...what's your AC again...?'', ''...he/she points a wand/staff/rod/finger at you, speaks a word, and...save.'' or ''...draws his/her sword/axe/other weapon and attacks.''


Not so much standard catch-phrases, that last bit, but more a standardized behavior.



More later when I rememember them.


----------



## The_Gneech

Some more I've remembered...

*"You poked your eye out!"* -- Said to anybody who rolls a 1 on an attack

*"Swish."* -- Ditto.

*"Hasaaaaaan CHOP!"* -- Said when rolling a boatload of damage in melee

*"I say something witty and fascinating."* -- When the player has no clue what to say, but the character has a high Cha / diplomacy check.

*"Iiiii ... have a Cunning Plan!" or "I have a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it!" or "I have a plan that's so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!"* -- The traditional segue into launching a discussion of tactics; all stolen from _Black Adder_, of course.

*"Better part of valor! Better part of valor!" or "Our cause is DOOMED!"* -- Said when the adventure is going south. Both stolen from _Baldur's Gate_.

   -The Gneech


----------



## Ashe

Hey RUBE!!!

This is what our PC's would yell if we were seperated and needed help.  Apparently back in the early days of carnivals this is the expression that would be yelled when there was trouble and they needed the other carnies as backup.


----------



## andrew

*Re: Gaming Catch Phrases*



			
				provik said:
			
		

> *We've adopted the standard RPGA in our game store.
> 
> "We Greyhawk him."  First time I had to explain Greyhawking, I went through a long and complex explanation.
> *






			
				Agamon said:
			
		

> *My Living Greyhawk group has a few catchphrases:
> 
> "We Greyhawk the bodies." - This comes from the fact that in the first year of LG, you only got any loot in the game if you stripped the bodies of your enemies down and took everything.  Refers to the fact that LG is the only game that one really does this...
> 
> *



Interesting! The LG group I play with in the UK is also very familiar with Greyhawking the bodies. I had no idea the phrase was so widely used.


----------



## Dwarf_Bread

The following phrases originated in 2e campaigns, and have been repeated in virtually every game I've played or run since:

Once, while I was drawing the characters' path in the ToEE, one of my players said *"Stay frosty, people, we're near the edge of the map."*  (Players will often say this when they see a map, whether of a dungeon, city, or continent).

After finding a Helm of Brilliance, the party was faced with a 2e iron golem (which is not damaged by fire).  The Helm wearer shot the golem twice with fireballs, which harmed it not at all but badly wounded the rest of the party.  As the party members begged him not to fire again, he said *"He can't take much more of this!"* and fired again, killing the party.  The golem killed him immediately after.  (The players sometimes shout this when fighting opponents with high hp/DR/SR, or when there's a "friendly fire" accident.)

In another 2e game, a friend was playing the chaotic good paladin variation from a Dragon mag article; his chosen god was Sune, the goddess of love and beauty.  The module involved several elaborate traps, the first of which was a circular room with identical doors that would spin around, confusing the party, until the correct door was chosen.  The player said he was going to mark each door he opened; the DM reminded him he had no chalk, ink, etc.  The player said "I'll mark them with my hand lotion."  The DM demanded to see his character sheet, and sure enough the player had brought some hand lotion along in order to keep his hands looking good, as his goddess taught.  The DM was baffled, and when we faced the next trap, a hideous affair with shooting blades, the DM shouted *"Let's see your hand lotion save you now!"*
(I sometimes say this after the players have outwitted my carefully laid plans and subsequently run into even bigger trouble).


----------



## Imperialus

Oh, I remembered another one.

"I send in the Black Bear Birgade" or "Black Bear Birgade to the rescue!"  Used when we are useing large numbers of summoned monster/fodder NPC's to soak damage for us.  We once ended up summoning something rediculous like 15 black bears to distract 3 Vrocks while our 5th and 6th level characters beat a hasty retreat.


----------



## LGodamus

Who is your B**CH , Daddy?????


Said by one of my overly excited PCs when he finally landed the killing blow on a baddie  .....I think daddy and b**ch were supposed to be switched


----------



## Griswold

Our first 3E game we had a rules lawyer who used to drag things down with minutia and after awhile the rest of us grew weary of it all so my favorite expression when he went on one of his little "things" was this - 







-S.


----------



## gunter uxbridge

From D&D games that I have played in the past...

"Nobody sh**s in the morning!" Battle cry of a priest of Lathander who insisted that everyone hold their business until after morning prayers. 

"Moonbeams and pixie dust and LUBE!" - Making fun of a mage characters penchant for casting Color Spray, Glitter Dust and Grease.

"What are ya??? French?" Common reaction to elven characters.

"I boot the door!" A common expression where the character does something that pretty much lets fate take care of itself. 

"I suggest powder keg." A solution that uses brute force. Taken from a game where the DM let us keep a few kegs of black powder. We used them to open stuck doors, clear out a room of evil priests, check out the mechanism of a trap...lots of good stuff.

"A screaming purple monk runs by." Used during quite points in the game. Taken from when one of our monk characters fell in a vat of acid. We pulled him out and washed off the acid with wine before hitting him with some cures. The damage to his flesh and the natural dyes from the wine led to give him an all over body tattoo. Last seen at the end of a campaign running through the woods from where his whole party was killed.

From a Star Trek Starship Combat Simulator

"Riker Effect" - Direct hit to the bridge. One officer dies. Taken from numerous episodes where Riker winds up with part of the bridge stucking out of his skull. Also knows as "Chunk-o-bridge."

"Boy Buzzer" - On a direct hit to engineering, roll d100. On a 00 the ship immediately explodes. No escape pods, no beaming off...all crew lost.  I saw three Romulan Warbirds go up in flames due to this in one fight.


----------



## Larry Fitz

"When last we left our stalwart adventurers.."

Used to begin the recap each session.

"Mr. Bunny!"

A bit convoluted, but a reference to a line from an old bugs bunny cartoon, used to point out when someone comes up with a terrible idea.

"Taint!"

A reference to sneak attack damage delivered by a small rogue on a Large opponent. It refers to a particularly piece of anatomy...

"You see a frog covered in purple polka-dots.." 

A not so subtle warning that OOG is detracting too much from IG and it's time to get back on track. First used a long time ago as some horrific spotted toads began trashing the party to get the players attention back on the game...

"Page 110"
A reference to the page in the 1st ed DMG that covered dealing with troublesome players. Used when players began  deliberately getting on DM's nerves.


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## Bobaloo

"It must have been that (darn) Dark Elf."
Used when firing into melee and hitting your ally.

"WHAM!"
(Said in a flat tone but loud voice by the DM.) When the PCs fail to break open a locked/stuck door.

"Floors, Ceilings, Walls?" (or "FCW" for short.)
Used as the inital visual check of the room.  Followed usually by:

"Dungeon." 
(As apropriate of course.)  This grew out of me (as DM) usually responding to FCW as "Normal."  "Normal compared to what," one of my players started to ask.  So I went to, "Dungeon."

"Saving Throws are on 101."
As they were in the 2nd Ed. PHB.  None of my players was good about keeping them current, nor was I about having them for the monsters, so I memorized that page number.

We use a handful already mentioned as well: Night Falls, take damage; Famous Last Words; others...


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## heirodule

Barendd Nobeard said:
			
		

> *First heard by me in a Living Greyhawk event:
> 
> "Relate story" - to prevent repeating everything one character has just learned from the DM (while the character is by him/herself (or communicating in a language no one else understands), but the players are all right there listening), we'll just say "Relate story" instead of repeating everything.  Speeds up the game when you're tight on time (more a problem at cons than home games). *




Another LG one:

"we greyhawk the bodies"

which means cutting them open to see if they have swallowed any valuable treasure.


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## Holy Bovine

Just to keep this on the front page that little bit longer I thought of another catchphrase our old Warhammer group used.

When some one was horribly mangled by the critical hits charts it was described in the book as being killed 'almost instantaneously'.  Our catch phrase was - 'well at least he suffered a little.'

Another that has surfaced in the past year

'This is the corpse we came to this tomb to defile!'


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## Sharraunna

*Synnibar*

From Synnibar:

Whenever a question is ask about something in the game that doesn't make sense, i.e. "How can the grizzly fly?" the answer is "Synnibar."

Whenever something surreal happens, like a feather doing 10,000+ damage, it's said to "ring with authenticity."

The second comment comes from the author's bio in the back, which says he's dodged arrows and fought in life-and-death situations, so his RPG "rings with authenticity."


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## Naar

Whenever a door is opened with a high Open Lock check, or a trap disarmed particularly well, it is said to be 'Sven'. I have absolutely no idea how this started.


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## Gellion

My Dm was trying to be nice and give our Ranger an animal companion.  So he has the Ranger encounter an owl while he is on his watch.  The Dm says the owl moves close to him. The Ranger says "I pull out my bow ans shoot it  
".  The Dm then looked at the player like he was stupid and laughed and said "You kabobed the bird", the player was like "What, i something like owl demons in the MM".

He was referring to Owlbears, but owlbears dont look like normal owls.  We actually manged to have the owl healed, but then it got taked away by an female orc named uniboob, who was the owls owner.

Every time i talk to the player i always try to slip in "You kabobed the bird"


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## Salamander Napolean

Any time the DM describes something particularly gruesome or horrifying that the characters see but aren't involved in, one of the PCs will to look to his comrades and say, "It's bad luck just seeing something like that."

In a campaign that involved lots of airships, anytime a NPC or villain went over board and someone asked what happened to him they'd say, "He's downstairs," or "He's downstairs kissing Sandy."

And then there is the everpresent war-cry/ threat, "Prepare to get sword-f**ked!" usually said in a pirate voice.


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## Rugger

"What's yer Flat-Footed-Touch Armor Class?"

I had been beating on my PC's pretty hard, and the BBEG managed to sneak up on one of the PC's...and tried to do the Death Domain Ability on him. (I think...it was something along those lines.)

Me: Okie dokie...what's your flat-footed AC?
PC1: Crap! Um...16?
Me: Oh, wait...its a touch attack...hmmm....
Now Frazzled PC1: WHAT? Is is flat-footed or touch? It can't be both...thats not on my sheet!
PC2: My god! Your flat-footed touch AC?!?!?! 
<screams of terror>

Nowadays, any time the PC's are feeling death creep up, they ask me:
 "Aren't you gonna ask for our Flat-Footed-Touch AC?"

-Rugger
"I Lurk!"


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## nute

Playing Mage: the Ascension. The party consists of a college football star, a martial-arts drifter, an antique store owner, and the drifter's "girl Friday" (being the person still relatively new to gaming).

Needless to say, the party finds themselves in trouble, being shot at by a man with a rifle atop the local Denny's. Through judicious reality manipulation, the ceiling under him collapses at the same time his internal organs decide to become external organs.

Girl Friday: "Dibs on looting the body!"

Storyteller: "... ... there's no looting the body in Mage!"

Thus, any time a character in any game now does something normally restricted to another genre, the cry of "there's no looting the body in Mage!" comes out.

~M.


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## mmu1

On the way to becoming a staple in my current game, following a particularly bad fumble and/or critical hit: 

"Random fluid in the eye!"

Taken from a particularly awful fumble chart our DM used experimentally one session.


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## Gnarlo

Two expressions that came into our group from playing marathon car wars games back in college.

"Rolled a 6!" -- Used anytime that someone fumbles / fails horribly and with a disasterous result. Comes from the table you roll on when you fail a control roll performing a manuever; you had a 1 in 6 chance of your car flipping into the air, bursting in flames, and rolling end over end.

"Riding in John's car" -- During one particular 2 day marathon session, John had consistently defeated everyone in the room time and time again whether we were fighting on the road or in the arena. At the end of the long second day, we were all sitting around drinking and someone happened to pick up one of his car designs; gave a shout and grabbed for the rest of them to look. Sure enough, John was able to have more armor, weapons, and ammo than the rest of us because he had forgotten to put an engine in any of his cars. To this day when anyone has a PC in any game who is severely min/maxed, twinked, munchkined, or just plain broken, it "rode to the game in John's car"

/gnarlo!


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## Trevalon Moonleirion

This post sounds hauntingly familiar, and I'm too lazy to see if I've already posted...so if this is a second post to this thread, you can all just deal with that I suppose.

"I run him through."  Classic KoDT.  Very popular at the table.

"Strahd's a pedophile." Though I've only run Ravenloft once, this still gets brought up every once in a while.  He has a girl hiding in his castle in the module you see... and...well yeah that's how that got started.

"*sung to the tune of mambo number five* One, two, three-four-five, it may look like it but I'm not a-live!" Another gem from Ravenloft that still haunts us. (no pun intended)

"Eat a , ho!" So very...very medieval...

"Your MOM!" We're all going to college... really...we are!

"Ah screw it, let's just kill him." Not necessarily said, but it's certainly a general attitude.

That's about all that I can think of for the moment--it's been so long since I've played D&D with my group!


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## Isida Kep'Tukari

"Stick of Law/Good"

There's a couple of guys in my group that have rolled up either good or lawful good characters after a long time playing chaotic neutral characters.  Occasionally they forget they their new alignments.  I threatened (good naturedly) to keep them in line with the "Stick of Law/Good."  So whenever they say or are about to do something unlawful/not good I tap them with my pencil and say "Stick of Law/Good!"  "I backstab the NPC!"  _Thwack!_  "Stick of Good!"

"It's worth the dice"  "Where are the dice?"  

My group is notorioius for having a wealth of bad puns and the occasional off-color joke.  When a real stinker is said, I lightly throw my dice bag (full of my back-up dice) at the offender.  So whenever a really bad joke is said, people ask about the dice.  (Though sometimes just chucking a d12 works though.)


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## heimdall

"Thrash and bash"

Popularized by battlerager and vindicators in spiked armor. Whenever a player decided to battle rage and forego the normal weapons, he or she would look at the DM and say, "I thrash and bash."

"Thrashball"

When I was playing a vindicator, another player had a character with an obscene strength. Though we were on ship, I was wearing spiked plate armor. We were engaging another ship and he looked over at the DM and said, "If I pick up the dwarf and toss him, can I hit the captain of the other ship?" The DM did some quick calculations and said, "Um, yeah, it looks like you can. Why?" So the PC tossed my vindicator directly at the captain and I proceeded to "Thrash and Bash." Hence the word, "Thrashball." It got used numerous time in that campaign afterwards.

"Convert or Die!"

The wife of the DM complained to me, "You never play evil characters. Even when we run an evil party, you always play neutral!" She then turned to her husband and said, "Make him play an evil character!" Looking to bail out my friend, I created a specialty priest of Cyric. She was a cleric of another god. The first time we started encountering anything powerful, it turned out to be three vampires (high level campaign). First words out of my mouth were, "Convert or die!" as I held up the unholy symbol of Cyric. The DM said, "Are you attempting to turn or command them?" I said, "No, I'm giving them options." They didn't convert. Flame strike and toasted vampires. I then looked at her and said, "Convert or die!" After that, it took on prominence as a jab at her whenever a party-member gave her exactly what she demanded, much to her chagrin.

"Uh, oh, gotta go!"

A particular player usually did bone-headed things on purpose. However, he built his characters with the capacity to usually get out of the situation. His catch phrase to alert the rest of the party when he did something of this caliber was, "Uh, oh, gotta go!"

"Want a girl scout cookie? Want a girl scout?"

Standard phrase of a low gen Malkavian named Teddy Bear with a high level of dementation. Imagine a 40 something year-old wearing a teddy bear outfit where you could see his face. That's "Teddy Bear." He always would say that to anyone he meant. The character who coined "Uh, oh, gotta go!" asked Teddy Bear to teach him dementation. Teddy Bear agreed but the character had to complete a particular disgusting task: collect 40 girl scouts, rape them, drink their blood, and bring Teddy Bear their collection of girl scout cookies. Needless to say, it caused a mental illness for the PC (what Teddy Bear felt was necessary in order to become a disciple of dementation). When players would go after something that ended up having more detriments than advantages, we'd say, "Want a girl scout cookie? Want a girl scout?"

"Have you no faith?"

Started by my paladin, Illyssa of Thay, when anyone questioned whether something was do-able. She would respond with this question and the party would get rolling. Eventually, it was used whenever anyone questioned plunging headlong into a hopeless situation. The group would shout, "Have you no faith?"


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