# Evony Ad



## Mikaze

Now I'm not one to knee-jerk about sex being used to sell products, but...









I like to think they were intentionally going for Over-The-Top, but if it just happened naturally...

I mean, it's not even titillating.  It's more "Hahaha!  Oh wow!"


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## ssampier

That ad is just _bad_.

The other ad, at least, showed more cleavage


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## StreamOfTheSky

Mikaze said:


> Now I'm not one to knee-jerk about sex being used to sell products, but...




Assuming you're not talking about the not even close to arousing cleavage...

Yeah, the first time I saw it, and the placement of the "sword" (yeah, it's a real sword, but I felt the need to quote), it made me think the sword was a stand-in for something else. 

But it's at least pointed towards her throat/chest, as if prepared to kill her, as opposed to the absolutely "not really a sword" symbolism if it were at say...mouth level.  I just found it funny, and wonderd if that was on purpose, or unintentionally hilarious.


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## Relique du Madde

You forgot to mention that princess's facial expression.  Instead of being scared or worried, it comes off as a vacant pouty "I'm forced to do porn to pay off my student loans, so I'll halfass it since I feel ashamed of myself."  Then again, it would have been totally wrong if she had a satisfied or a surpised "your 'sword' is huge!" look on her face.


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## jaerdaph

The cleavage in the first ad above looks like the artist's great grandmother was posing for him...


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## ssampier

Ewww... just ... ewwww.


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## Relique du Madde

Jaerdaph, that was wrong... so very wrong.


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## frankthedm

slightly less disturbing than the heavy cleavage flyff ads.

http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/5417/whorishte3.png

this one shows what the in game characters actually look like.
http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/Ads/8277/10/160x600.jpg


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## Dannyalcatraz

jaerdaph said:


> The cleavage in the first ad above looks like the artist's great grandmother was posing for him...




Now _my_ sword is pointing down.



My wrist is tired!  What?


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## StreamOfTheSky

Dannyalcatraz said:


> My wrist is tired!  What?




If that was supposed to clear up any misunderstandings, you failed.


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## Dannyalcatraz

_Some _people just have dirty minds...


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## StreamOfTheSky

ssampier said:


> That ad is just _bad_.
> 
> The other ad, at least, showed more cleavage




Wait a second, I just noticed.  Your ad pic is for Civony, the OP's is for Evony.  Are they the same game?


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## Dannyalcatraz

I don't know, but I was in Meta just a while ago, and a different EVONY ad showed up, with a slightly different pose for the woman in the blue dress (presumably the queen)- its a tad bit more full frontal.

The sword, though, is still droopy.


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## Relique du Madde

They are the same.  Appearantly, Civony changed it's name to Evony when it entered beta.  I'm willing to bet it was done forlegal reasons.


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## megamania

There is so much T&A in advertisements these days that I didn't really notice. 



or am I just getting too old....?


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## Relique du Madde

You're probably only gettting that distorted ad that looks like it was created using clip art, or that one with the goth girl which is for some dating site.


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## ssampier

As stated Civony changed its name; the old name forwards to the new one automatically.

As for frankthedm, the first one is quasi-pr0n, the second, bobbleheads?


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## Merlin's Shadow

ssampier said:


> That ad is just _bad_.
> 
> The other ad, at least, showed more cleavage



And this chick is hotter.

What?


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## Relique du Madde

Merlin's Shadow said:


> And this chick is hotter.
> 
> What?




Of course she's hotter.  She's not  badly created cartoon with an messed up facial expression.


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## Dannyalcatraz

I was trying to grab the banner ad for something like "Kingdoms: Race War" or the like, but Firefox locked up on me.

Nothin' but cleavage.


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## Orius

ssampier said:


> That ad is just _bad_.
> 
> The other ad, at least, showed more cleavage




I miss that ad.  That girl is hot, and flower wreath crowns always do it for me.  



StreamOfTheSky said:


> Wait a second, I just noticed.  Your ad pic is for Civony, the OP's is for Evony.  Are they the same game?




I was pretty sure they were.  Ironically, the first Evony ad had some male knight in full armor.  At least it think it was a male, since he had this bigass helmet on.  All the other ads go for sex appeal it seems.  The very first ad for Civony had that woman in the robe that was nearly completely open at the front.  I snarked on it here:



Orius said:


> I guess it's supposed to be some kind of online strategy game, but going by the first ad that was used, I'm not sure it's any good.  You know the one with the woman in the... robe..that's a millimeter shy of being, shall we say, Grandma unfriendly?  It's all because of the Cleavage Law of Gaming:  the amount of bare female skin used to promote the product is inversely proportional to the quality of said product.






frankthedm said:


> slightly less disturbing than the heavy cleavage flyff ads.




Two words: Perfect World.  You know the sidebar ad with that hot brunette wearing the ridiculous and utterly useless stripperiffic armor?  It's utterly asinine, but it still gets my attention.

An how amusing, as I was typing out this response _every single sidebar ad_ was some variation of this ad.  Evony certainly paid to pimp their game, no?


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## Dannyalcatraz

As a tangent about stripperiffic armor, I was watching a cop/reality show the other day and in it, the women were being measured and fitted for new, more comfortable body armor.

Now, it didn't feature a target pattern on "the twins" or anything like that, but it was clearly more curvaceous than the body armor for the guys.  I mean, it makes sense- if you take up more room, you'll need more room.


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## Mikaze

Dannyalcatraz said:


> I was trying to grab the banner ad for something like "Kingdoms: Race War" or the like, but Firefox locked up on me.




Good gravy I hate that ad. It's hard _not_ to feel awkward when people see "RACE WAR" advertised on your monitor.



Orius said:


> An how amusing, as I was typing out this response _every single sidebar ad_ was some variation of this ad. Evony certainly paid to pimp their game, no?




And sword guy is still doing it!
















EDIT-Huh. What a difference a weekend makes.

Last week. This week.


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## jaerdaph

Mikaze said:


> EDIT-Huh. What a difference a weekend makes.
> 
> Last week. This week.




He obviously saw my comment about his choice of model because it looks like he used the Photoshop "Perky" filter on great granny now...


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## ssampier

I am not sure what to make of this:

More T, but not necessarily in a good way. 






I'd almost say she was feeding an infant if not for her facial expression.


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## Relique du Madde

ssampier said:


> I am not sure what to make of this:
> 
> More T, but not necessarily in a good way.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'd almost say she was feeding an infant if not for her facial expression.




WORST ANGLE EVAR!  It makes me wonder how much of a horse face she has.


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## Merlin's Shadow

Relique du Madde said:


> WORST ANGLE EVAR!  It makes me wonder how much of a horse face she has.



She has a face?


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## Orius

Dannyalcatraz said:


> As a tangent about stripperiffic armor, I was watching a cop/reality show the other day and in it, the women were being measured and fitted for new, more comfortable body armor.
> 
> Now, it didn't feature a target pattern on "the twins" or anything like that, but it was clearly more curvaceous than the body armor for the guys.  I mean, it makes sense- if you take up more room, you'll need more room.




That's sensible armor.  "Stripperiffic" is stupid crap like chainmail bikinis, breast plates, metal thongs, that sort of nonsense.  You know the stuff we've been arguing about for like the last 6 months over in the General forum.  



Mikaze said:


> EDIT-Huh. What a difference a weekend makes.
> 
> Last week. This week.




They've been running those ads for about the last two weeks at least.  There's a couple of different angles with Our Queen in Peril in different poses, different amounts of rips in and blood on her dress, and at least one or two with her hands tied.



Relique du Madde said:


> WORST ANGLE EVAR!  It makes me wonder how much of a horse face she has.




I liked it.  I'd rather see more of that than the boring CG Queen.  Ooh, looks like I finally got a banner version of that one.

And I'm STILL getting lots of Evony ads as I rip on it.


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## jaerdaph

Relique du Madde said:


> WORST ANGLE EVAR!  It makes me wonder how much of a horse face she has.




Wait, there was a face in that ad too?


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## Aeolius

For reasons unknown (perhaps 2 reasons) I am reminded of this NWN ad:


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## ssampier

doesn't look very elvish to me. The ears are all wrong...

.

.

.

Oh wait, it's a she.


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## Orius

Yeah, but NWN is actually a pretty damn good game.  And didn't they use that ad in Maxim or something?


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## StreamOfTheSky

Those hands don't look right, the fingers are too short, it's bugging me.  And yeah, that's the thing I walk away with from that pic.  A critique of the hands.   NICE ad, though.


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## Dannyalcatraz

At least they used scorpion conchs, cowries, scallops, and (inexplicably) the delicate sand-dollars for her costume...

Instead of crabs.

Well, at least, only _one_ crab.

But couldn't she have had a scallop loincloth and a crab pasties, as opposed to scallop pasties and a crab loincloth?

Or are they saying something judgmental?  Is she an "Elf of the Evening?"


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## Dannyalcatraz

Now the "Save your Lover" ad makes me think of the immortal words of Paul Simon in his classic song, "50 Ways to Leave your Lover"... altered below...


> "50 Ways to Save your Lover"
> _<snip>_
> 
> You just logon and hack, Jack
> Make a new plan, Stan
> You don't need to be coy, Roy
> You're playing for free
> No need to rush, Gus
> You don't need to discuss much
> Just make your foes flee, Lee
> You're playing for free
> _<snip>_


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## Relique du Madde

Aeolius said:


> For reasons unknown (perhaps 2 reasons) I am reminded of this NWN ad:






Dannyalcatraz said:


> Instead of crabs.
> 
> Well, at least, only _one_ crab.
> 
> But couldn't she have had a scallop loincloth and a crab pasties, as opposed to scallop pasties and a crab loincloth?




Poor Girl has crabs.


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## Dannyalcatraz

No, she has only one crab, but its pretty _big..._


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## Mustrum_Ridcully

The real question is - how does Evony play. I mean, it's free forever, right? Someone of you has to have tested it, after all these cleavage adverts!


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## Relique du Madde

Dannyalcatraz said:


> No, she has only one crab, but its pretty _big..._




But remember kids, where you see one crab there are sure to be many more.... what?


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## Aeolius

Dannyalcatraz said:


> No, she has only one crab, but its pretty _big..._




His name is Buster


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## Orius

And Evony's got a new ad!  Two girls this time, but they're so pale they look like mannequins or something.


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## Dannyalcatraz

> His name is Buster




Wow- now we know where he disappeared to!


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## Dannyalcatraz

They also have one with a dude in armor.

I'm so confused!  Does he have Great Cleavage?

The_ Feat!_  The _Feat!_


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## possum

I swear, those ads are everywhere I spend a lot of time on.  I've seen 'em on some of my favorite webcomics, they're on TVtropes and on ENWorld.  I'm doomed, I guess...


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## Orius

Dannyalcatraz said:


> They also have one with a dude in armor.
> 
> I'm so confused!  Does he have Great Cleavage?
> 
> The_ Feat!_  The _Feat!_




Yeah, that I think is the first ad they had when they changed the name.  I mentioned it above, I forgot that it was an open-faced helm.  It's a guy, so naturally I paid it far less heed than the Civony ads.  

And the Queen is STILL in my sidebar.


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## Mustrum_Ridcully

Just get over with it and play the game.


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## Aeolius

Mustrum_Ridcully said:


> Just get over with it and play the game.




Given the nature of the ads, is this a game you play... with yourself?


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## Wombat

I had been more or less ignoring the Evony ads ...

... but this morning I woke up to find out that I create 4e utility packs.

Somehow my ad-counterpart just really twists my brain around.


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## Ceramicwombat

Maybe you do indeed make 4E utility packs. Maybe we have a Tyler Durden thing going. What are you up to tonight? Maybe we can go steal fat to make into soap.


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## Orius

Mustrum_Ridcully said:


> Just get over with it and play the game.




I'm having more fun making fun of the ads. 



Wombat said:


> I had been more or less ignoring the Evony ads ...
> 
> ... but this morning I woke up to find out that I create 4e utility packs.




I thought you were making them too.  I thought it was cool that another ENWorld member had made a break into the gaming industry.  Turns out I was thinking of the wrong member.


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## StreamOfTheSky

Alright, some slightly different evony ads I'm seeing now.  First thought: hurray for the lower camera focus!  For a while they had shifted to just head and neck, like they felt ashamed for pushing animated T&A.   I also found some of the flashing promotional text to be amusing.  Observe:


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## Relique du Madde

Hahaha!


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## Mustrum_Ridcully

Aeolius said:


> Given the nature of the ads, is this a game you play... with yourself?




MMSORPG - Massive Multiple Singleplayer Online Role Playing Game?


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## possum

Oddly enough, in the past day or so, I've only been getting the knight ad.  I don't know if it's luck of the draw or what.


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## StreamOfTheSky

possum said:


> Oddly enough, in the past day or so, I've only been getting the knight ad.  I don't know if it's luck of the draw or what.




Same here.


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## ssampier

I'm getting the lady with her eyes closed. This time, however, she has a blouse on.


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## Relique du Madde

I feel jiped.  I've been getting the knight.


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## ssampier

I'm am also getting the knight, but I also have the Evony girl at the top of the screen.


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## megamania

Mustrum_Ridcully said:


> Just get over with it and play the game.




You all know you want to


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## megamania

Aeolius said:


> Given the nature of the ads, is this a game you play... with yourself?




....as the above reply states


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## megamania

New ad

Looks like they are taking the "Sex Sells" idea very literal now.

None DnD type appearance but LOTS of cleavage and the words "start your journey now My Lord."


ahhhh.... the journeys I am thinking of.......  mountains, valleys, bushlands.... adventure of the highest kind....


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## Nebten

I love the fact that they hide what the advertisment is for in the upper left corner, barely visible. But now they are doing away with even a medival theme and going straight to the satin & lace.


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## StreamOfTheSky

On the other hand, you have to commend them.  At the start of this thread, people were making fun of the bad unrealistic graphics.  But this new ad... they look she looks quite real.


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## Mikaze

I'm just glad Evony ads have moved past the uncanny valley.



Yeah I'm letting that one hang out there.


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## Relique du Madde

They also had an improvement on the models they used.  The first one looked like a horse and this current one looks like a stipper.  Sadly, they still need to up the resolution a bit.


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## Aeolius

megamania said:


> ahhhh.... the journeys I am thinking of.......  mountains, valleys, bushlands.... adventure of the highest kind....




She's got huge.... tracts of land!


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## Relique du Madde

Aeolius said:


> She's got huge.... tracts of land!




Are they fertile?


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## megamania

.....nope


......nah



.....sigh...can't



....  


Everything I want to say I can't.   I went too far already......


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## Dannyalcatraz

I'm reminded of the lyric, "Mountain high, valley low."

Why, I have no idea.


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## Relique du Madde

I have a Poison Lyric flouting in my mind...


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## sanine

my friends! I bring news! I signed up here just to share what I have witnessed.. and I am still recovering from the very sight of this.. monster. 








Behold myfriends, the worst evony ad yet. Just a pair of boobs. That says "Play now secretly".  Believe it, its real. Its very real.


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## ssampier

Ah, boobage.

You never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.


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## Dannyalcatraz

Anyone want to photoshop an Evony ad over these boobies?

dancing-blue-footed-boobies-pictures photos & pics

Or maybe over images of _Parus Major_ (common name would be censored)
http://davesgarden.com/guides/birdfiles/showimage/1116/


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## StreamOfTheSky

sanine said:


> Behold myfriends, the worst evony ad yet. Just a pair of boobs. That says "Play now secretly".  Believe it, its real. Its very real.




Seriously?  That's an actual ad, not a photoshop?  ....*starts trying to saying something, but then figures it's not worth it*.....

Ah well, much as a I appreciate the beautiful display of the female form, I'm more of a leg guy.  So unless they start putting out miniskirt ads, it's clear this game is not meant for me.


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## Dannyalcatraz

You know...

Some Hiver ought to compile the various Evony ads to ask Goldmoon about them when she pops back up...


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## Dannyalcatraz

StreamOfTheSky said:


> Seriously?  That's an actual ad, not a photoshop?




I haven't seen that exact one myself, but its font and brown...er..."clothing" matches the banner ad (rotated 90degrees) that..."popped up" at the top of my screen before I clicked on the "New Reply" button.


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## Orius

megamania said:


> New ad
> 
> Looks like they are taking the "Sex Sells" idea very literal now.
> 
> None DnD type appearance but LOTS of cleavage and the words "start your journey now My Lord."




I was cranky when I was reading through this, 'cause all I had was something with a polar bear (yeah, that's exciting), but it looks like the ad finally popped up.  And yeah, it's nothing but pure sex appeal.  



> ahhhh.... the journeys I am thinking of.......  mountains, valleys, bushlands.... adventure of the highest kind....






Mikaze said:


> I'm just glad Evony ads have moved past the uncanny valley.
> 
> Yeah I'm letting that one hang out there.






Aeolius said:


> She's got huge.... tracts of land!






Relique du Madde said:


> Are they fertile?





I thought puns were against forum rules?  Well, they were all funny. 



sanine said:


> my friends! I bring news! I signed up here just to share what I have witnessed.. and I am still recovering from the very sight of this.. monster.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Behold myfriends, the worst evony ad yet. Just a pair of boobs. That says "Play now secretly".  Believe it, its real. Its very real.




Meh, what good are they without a pretty face?

And these ads don't say "Look, hot babes!" to me, more like, "This game sucks, so we got to pimp it with with TNA!"


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## Relique du Madde

orius said:


> and these ads don't say "look, hot babes!" to me, more like, "this game sucks, so we got to pimp it with with tna!"




qft.


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## Vorput

I feel guilty every time someone walks past my computer while I'm reading ENworld.

These Evony ads are bordering pretty close on being NSFW.  It's really sort of irritating.


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## Relique du Madde

Vorput said:


> I feel guilty every time someone walks past my computer while I'm reading ENworld.
> 
> These Evony ads are bordering pretty close on being NSFW.  It's really sort of irritating.





You are not the only person who I heard complain about that.


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## megamania

Orius said:


> And these ads don't say "Look, hot babes!" to me, more like, "This game sucks, so we got to pimp it with with TNA!"






well..... yeah..... but it does still get my attention.


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## ssampier

More boobage.

At least this one has a face.







I love the female form, but this is getting ridiculous. I'd prefer some more subtlety.


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## Orius

Vorput said:


> I feel guilty every time someone walks past my computer while I'm reading ENworld.
> 
> These Evony ads are bordering pretty close on being NSFW.  It's really sort of irritating.




The first one was one of the worst.  Anyone have a screencap of that to show what I mean?



ssampier said:


> More boobage.
> 
> At least this one has a face.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I love the female form, but this is getting ridiculous. I'd prefer some more subtlety.




It doesn't even give any idea of what the game is like, it's just a blonde with a lot of cleavage.


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## ssampier

The word Evony is barely visible. They are just looking for click-through apparently.

The game is okay. Instead of spending their time on their game, they figure, "Sex sells! We don't no stinkin' R&D." 

Evony review
Evony Review | MMORPG Games & MMO News - MMOCrunch


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## Mustrum_Ridcully

Also discussed in Meta, BTW. http://www.enworld.org/forum/meta/259228-oh-those-hilarious-evony-ads-new-post.html 

Since it is coming from google ads, Morrus can't do much about it. Though if the "rumors" are correct, it might be possible that they are using copyrighted material illegally and could be banned from google ads.


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## Relique du Madde

OMG... I knew that fairy costume was familiar!  They were selling it at the Halloween store my niece worked at last October.


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## Ysgarran

*Evony: most despised game on the web?*

Online gaming: Has Evony become the most despised game on the web? | Technology | The Guardian



> It turns out that the site's backers are equally unpopular.  Evony is the product of Universal Multiplayer Game Entertainment (UMGE), a developer linked to a Chinese gold-farming operation called WoWMine. That site has also come in for regular criticism, but the real kicker comes with the news that the company's owners are being sued by Microsoft over allegations of click fraud.


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## Mathew_Freeman

Sadly, my brother is playing this.

Although he has said that he point-blank refuses to pay for anything on that game.


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