# Gamer Love Life



## the Jester (Jun 2, 2004)

Recently I realized that one of the biggest things I want in a woman is to be able to share gaming fun with her.  

In other words, being a gamer is almost on my list of must-haves in a relationship now.  

Too many times, the women I've dated or been in relationships with have just plain not been able to relate to the amount of time and energy I spend on gaming related activities.  A gamer girl would understand, and not interfere!  She'd be supportive, hopefully cuz she'd be in the game! 

Sigh... don't know any gamer girls who are single and stuff, though.


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## Album Cover X (Jun 3, 2004)

I think you might be looking for the Holy Grail, Jester 

I'm picking up what you're laying down for I've seen too many friends and fellow gamers plagued by SO's that were anti-gaming. Makes for having any semblance of a regular game difficult when others basically work against you. Good luck in your search... I wish you well.


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## Ao the Overkitty (Jun 3, 2004)

Yeah.  when we find a gamer woman, we snatch her up as quick as possible.

They are indeed a great treasure.  Especially those that cook for the group.

Bless them.


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## Dungannon (Jun 3, 2004)

Check out http://www.mmodating.com.  They bill themselves as _the_ online dating service for gamers.  Discovered that link on Something Positive, btw.


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## HellHound (Jun 3, 2004)

Bwah-ha-ha.

Jester - once you find her, marry her.

I did.

Now we are raising a new generation of gamers. Heck, our eldest is planning a pick-up game of D&D at GenCon.


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## Andrew D. Gable (Jun 3, 2004)

I'm not really looking for a gamer girl _per se_, anymore.  There's only one in our area that I know of and I've already dated her.  And like the horse on Ren & Stimpy, I gotta say "no sir, don't like it".  She was a redhead, too, blast!  ha ha 

Now, as long as I can get a girl who'll put up with a severe Anglophile.


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## Eosin the Red (Jun 3, 2004)

As a married fella let me offer some oats to chew on. If you hide your gaming hobby from her (or him) in the beginning of the relationship then you are asking for later problems. After the third or fourth date with my wife she asked about going out on a saturday night and I said "I game with my buddies on saturdays, we been doing it for 15 years, how bout we get together on sunday?" 

Now as a married man - my wife knows that gaming is important to me but takes a back seat to birthday parties, annaverseries, holidays and other special occasions. The nice part is while she does not like games, she does not resent me or gaming. It simply is a part of our life, like exersize, work, or watching TV.


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## talinthas (Jun 3, 2004)

having a girlfriend who shares your hobbies is a wonderful thing.  Having a girlfriend who can regularly whomp you in settlers of catan, or any boardgame for that matter, is even better =)

We celebrated our fourth anniversary together on memorial day, and her third year in my dragonlance campaign =)


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## diaglo (Jun 3, 2004)

Jester,

you've met my wife. she doesn't game.

you just need to find someone who is understanding of your hobby. and your love of pugs.


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## Umbran (Jun 3, 2004)

HellHound said:
			
		

> Jester - once you find her, marry her.




Yea and verily, this is good advice.  

Btw, anyone know where I can get burgundy and gold dice inexpensively?  My gamer grrl and I are thinking of using some as favors at the gamers tables at our wedding....


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## Ranger REG (Jun 3, 2004)

the Jester said:
			
		

> Sigh... don't know any gamer girls who are single and stuff, though.



Attend many gaming conventions, including GenCon. You'll find them.

Then again, it would be nice to find a girl who have shown interest in RPG hobby but is a virgin to it.


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## BrooklynKnight (Jun 4, 2004)

Dungannon said:
			
		

> Check out http://www.mmodating.com. They bill themselves as _the_ online dating service for gamers. Discovered that link on Something Positive, btw.



I signed up for the site, just because.
However I must say, there is nothing that makes that place suited to gamers as a dating service. 

The questions are cut from the SAME cloth as other dating sites.

It doesnt ask what systems you like, it doesnt ask what type of player you are, it doesnt ask any of the "gamer" questions.

Sure, you can add all that in the 3 fields at the last page, but again, its pointless.

To top it off, the place doesnt even offer a free trail for messaging. I know for the "first month" it costs 1 dollar for unlimited, but thats "too good to be true" if you ask me.

This site is a scam to get peoples credit card info. IMO.


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## ASH (Jun 4, 2004)

I was a gamer virgin until my husband (then boyfriend) showed me the light of DnD. I cook for the group, and am the unofficial secretary; Makeing sure everyone's schedules work out for us to play.  Our group has been lucky; out of all of the 6 guys only 1 has a girl friend that just refuses to understand gaming.
The others, either are cool with it. Or want to play. I have even started a Significant others game where the women all get together and play with out the guys.


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## Mercule (Jun 4, 2004)

diaglo said:
			
		

> you just need to find someone who is understanding of your hobby. and your love of pugs.



The latter may be more difficult than the former, if you ask me.

I'd say find a gal and date her.  Don't hide your game.  Maybe she'll want to come watch or even play.  

That's what happenned with my wife -- who has recently threatened me with bodily harm if she was not allowed to play in a game.  Of course, that all started 11 or 12 years ago, so it wasn't a short road.


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## Djeta Thernadier (Jun 5, 2004)

Didn't I post something that got dubbed the Geeks Guide to Dating a few months ago on here


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## Djeta Thernadier (Jun 5, 2004)

Eosin the Red said:
			
		

> As a married fella let me offer some oats to chew on. If you hide your gaming hobby from her (or him) in the beginning of the relationship then you are asking for later problems. After the third or fourth date with my wife she asked about going out on a saturday night and I said "I game with my buddies on saturdays, we been doing it for 15 years, how bout we get together on sunday?"
> 
> Now as a married man - my wife knows that gaming is important to me but takes a back seat to birthday parties, annaverseries, holidays and other special occasions. The nice part is while she does not like games, she does not resent me or gaming. It simply is a part of our life, like exersize, work, or watching TV.





I agree 100%. Do not feel like you have to hide who you are or what you do from anyone.


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## Djeta Thernadier (Jun 5, 2004)

diaglo said:
			
		

> Jester,
> 
> you've met my wife. she doesn't game.
> 
> you just need to find someone who is understanding of your hobby. and your love of pugs.





Are there any women anywhere who wouldn't love a man who loves cute puppies?!?!?!


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## der_kluge (Jun 5, 2004)

In terms of female relationships, I think the most important thing is that you are really good friends.

Of course, big breasts don't hurt, either.

Ok, I kid, I'm a kidder.


My wife is not a gamer.  I did date a few girls that could be considered gamers.  One was very strange.  We called her "psycho Sally" for a reason.  I just wasn't attracted to her, although she was actually fairly attractive, slender long brown hair.

I also dated a girl that was a former model.  She was hot, and knew 100 times more about the Star Wars universe than I ever could.  She even had Star Wars legos in her cube at work.  Oddly enough, we didn't have anything in common.  And I don't think she ever gamed, but she probably would have been into some d20 Star Wars if it was offered.

But, good luck. Most gamer girls I've ever met, aren't exactly best-in-show, if you know what I mean.


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## KenM (Jun 5, 2004)

Well, us gamers tend to be a little obsesive with our gaming. This might turn her off to it. I have found it best to take it slow to introdouce her to gaming.


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## Crothian (Jun 5, 2004)

I try to at least bring it up at first to test the water...the last date I had see was really turned off by it.


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## Bendris Noulg (Jun 5, 2004)

As a gamer married to a gamer (and one hot mama, me-ow!), I'll tell you it's not all wine and roses.  Sure, you don't have to worry about her not letting you hook up with your buds on Saturday night, but we fight like cats and dogs over bookshelf space.


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## Thornir Alekeg (Jun 5, 2004)

Ranger REG said:
			
		

> Attend many gaming conventions, including GenCon. You'll find them.
> 
> Then again, it would be nice to find a girl who have shown interest in RPG hobby but is a virgin to it.




That's my wife.  She saw the gaming stuff at my apartment when we were dating and said "I ALWAYS wanted to play that game!"  She even proved to me later that she was not just saying that (as one ex-girlfriend did) when she showed me the red box Basic D&D stored in the basement of her parents house - still in pristine condition.  I started saving for a ring about that time...

She has since learned the game and enjoys it, although not to the obsession level I do.


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## the Jester (Jun 5, 2004)

diaglo said:
			
		

> Jester,
> 
> you've met my wife. she doesn't game.
> 
> you just need to find someone who is understanding of your hobby. and your love of pugs.




Well, Stacy was totally understanding of it (and she's the one who started my pug affection), but what I want is to be able to _share it_ with her.


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## dreaded_beast (Jun 5, 2004)

I've been with my GF nearly 10 years, with all the ups and downs that go along with it. Yes, we've both heard all the marriage jokes. 

Anyways, she knew about my DND hobby for the past 6 years: around 1 year playing and then 1 year off, then finally playing again.

Luckily, she is a very understanding person. She put up with me always "ditching" her on Friday nights for 4 years, so that I could "hang out with a bunch of geeks", hehe.

When I stopped playing with my former group, I think she wanted to know what the big deal was, so I tried to explain the concept of DND to her. Now we have a solo-campaign going on where she is a Half-Elf 3 Monk/1 Sorceress. I consider myself a very zealous gamer, but I am always surprised at how enthusiastic she is when asks if we can play.

Well, I'm not sure what the point of my story was, but good luck in your search and *in a motherly voice* "Just be yourself!"


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## Tarrasque Wrangler (Jun 5, 2004)

I think it's easier to make a new gamer than to find an old one.  My GF had never played before but I could tell she had the gene, just based on the other things I knew she was into.  You just have to find someone compatible with the other geeky things in your life.  If you limit yourself to girls who play RPGs you won't go far.  But if you widen your search to include girls who are into SF and Fantasy books or movies that you enjoy, odds are you'll be able to hook her in eventually.  Just take it slow.

 If she's seen any of the LotR movies more than three times, and not to coo over Orlando or Viggo, she might be a potential gamer.

 Try peppering your conversations with geekisms.  If she doesn't furrow her brow when you're stopped by a highway patrolman and say "These aren't the droids you're looking for," she might be a potential gamer.

 If you met her in a Buffy chatroom and she was going on about how "Fred has to die" during the third season, she might be a potential gamer.


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## Viking Bastard (Jun 5, 2004)

I've never had trouble with these Gaming vs. Dating clashes. It's just never 
come up. I've never even heard of it being a problem, except when it comes 
to being about the 'cost' of gaming (products, dice etc.) or the signifant other
being jeallous of the gaming group over the quality time they're 'stealing'.

I guess it has to do with different outlook on the game over here.


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## DaveStebbins (Jun 5, 2004)

Viking Bastard said:
			
		

> I've never had trouble with these Gaming vs. Dating clashes. It's just never come up. I've never even heard of it being a problem, except when it comes to being about the 'cost' of gaming (products, dice etc.) or the signifant other being jeallous of the gaming group over the quality time they're 'stealing'.



My ex-wife didn't mind my gaming when we were going out, or when we were first married. But eventually she started making snide remarks. Her family growing up was very handy/crafty, so her opinion was that if you don't end up with something tangible which you could give as a gift, it's not a "real" hobby. It definitely contributed to my decision to leave.

If only she had shown her true colors before we got married...


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## Ogre Mage (Jun 6, 2004)

the Jester said:
			
		

> Well, Stacy was totally understanding of it (and she's the one who started my pug affection), but what I want is to be able to _share it_ with her.



I think it's great you want to be able to share gaming with your S.O., but I think the most important thing is to find an understanding person.  Shared interests are important, but it's fine, even healthy, for two people in a relationship to have some activities they do on their own.  If your partner is respectful of your needs, they will understand gaming makes you happy and be happy for you.      Frankly, if a S.O. is against your gaming, that is a sign of their own insecurity and/or ignorance.  One of the people in our group is married with two kids and his wife still lets him game.  He misses about 40% of the sessions due to family obligations, but she knows that having some game time is important to him.  

Still, it wouldn't hurt to introduce a potential GF to D&D if you think she has the right qualities to enjoy it and be a good player.  I think longtime gamers can usually spot someone who "has the potential."  Remember though, that gaming with your S.O. carries its own issues, such as claims from other players that you are favoring your S.O.


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## Buttercup (Jun 6, 2004)

HellHound said:
			
		

> Heck, our eldest is planning a pick-up game of D&D at GenCon.



Is she?  That's awesome.  You have great kids, Hellhound.  They stole the show last year, and not just because they're cute as bugs.  They're smart and accomplished, too.


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## Buttercup (Jun 6, 2004)

die_kluge said:
			
		

> Most gamer girls I've ever met, aren't exactly best-in-show, if you know what I mean.



And most gamer guys are?


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## Crothian (Jun 6, 2004)

Buttercup said:
			
		

> And most gamer guys are?




Only the ones from EN World


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## Turanil (Jun 6, 2004)

> When I stopped playing with my former group, I think she wanted to know what the big deal was, so I tried to explain the concept of DND to her. Now we have a solo-campaign going on where she is a Half-Elf 3 Monk/1 Sorceress. I consider myself a very zealous gamer, but I am always surprised at how enthusiastic she is when asks if we can play.




This reminds me of when I was married (a long time ago), and introduced my wife to gaming. I went for a solo adventure in order to explain her the rules. As she played a sorceress, I had a paladin npc accompany her. Of course, my intent was to protect the sorceress during a fight, but she understood that differently. Thus, we only played for less than 30 minutes, as she wouldn't understand what's the real purpose of a paladin! (i.e.: to slay orcs and the like). Since, as the DM I had to play the paladin npc, we quickly ended... in bed. (of course I allowed my paladin to do that only because we were married in real life... ahaem...   ).

However, as I am now celibate, and real life work tends to rob me of gaming time, I prefer to remain alone, heck! I have gaming projects to finish!


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## RangerWickett (Jun 6, 2004)

> In terms of female relationships, I think the most important thing is that you are really good friends.
> 
> Of course, big breasts don't hurt, either.




Well, then I'm outta luck.  I don't have breasts at all!

Me, I would love a relationship, but about six months ago I gave up on the rampant desire to find someone.  I had to accept that my approach, however I was going about it, wasn't working, and none of the dozen or so women that I'd been attracted to had shown any interest back.  So now I have a lot more female friends, but no date.

And I'm cool with that.  I have my friends, and I still make sure to go to social occasions to get to know people.  I'm content to be able to write for pleasure (and a small amount of money) and not be starving.  My friends and I enjoy gaming together, except for a highly unfortunate incident last night where I cussed out the GM because she hadn't let me do anything for eight hours of gaming.  I'm happy with life.

I do like to think of myself as a romantic, albeit one somewhat spoiled by having dated a woman who really enjoyed physical intimacy.  But I watch TV, see my friends, and heck, see my friends' D&D characters having loving relationships, and I feel just a little sad.

I'm groovy, though.  I've got my writing, and people who let me borrow their dice.  And, a few weeks ago,when I graduated from college and had to send my new contact information to people, I had about twenty-five people on the list.  It's not a huge number of people, but I'm glad to know all of them.

Just wish one of them thought I was cute.  *sniff*


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## Dirigible (Jun 6, 2004)

> Now, as long as I can get a girl who'll put up with a severe Anglophile




Possibly an English girl? Then you'd both be happy.



> ...one somewhat spoiled by having dated a woman who really enjoyed physical intimacy.




You have a funny definition of spoiled (wait, did you mean spoiled as in overwhelmed by treats, or as in ruined?)

Remember: Personal relationships are easier if you secretly hate everyone!


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## RangerWickett (Jun 6, 2004)

Dirigible said:
			
		

> You have a funny definition of spoiled (wait, did you mean spoiled as in overwhelmed by treats, or as in ruined?)




Both.  I was overwhelmed by treats, and thus ruined.  For a couple of years, it was perfectly acceptable for me to have sex on the brain, because my partner did too.  It's much easier to adore 'Woman' as a pseudo-chivalric romantic ideal if you're only writing poetry about something you've heard about.  Practical experience in the subject (and, at the risk of being crude, dare I say lots of it) makes it hard for me to entirely separate sex and love.

I notice that I never see gaming women complaining about being starved for affection.  Funny, that.


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## LightPhoenix (Jun 7, 2004)

You know, now that I'm single, this is one of those things I worry about.  I mean, I keep my gaming stuff on my bookshelf in plain site, I don't have a problem talking about it... I guess if nothing else it's a real litmus test.  Compounding the problem is that my ex-gf didn't care that I liked RPGs... she wasn't interested in them herself, and she'd make the occassional joke about it, but never in a malicious way.

I'd like to add a hearty bleh to dating in general though.


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## Andrew D. Gable (Jun 7, 2004)

Dirigible said:
			
		

> Possibly an English girl? Then you'd both be happy.




We're on the same page, I see.  When I go to London either this summer or next, I hope to meet a nice girl from Islington.


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## Hida Bukkorosu (Jun 7, 2004)

i want a chick who's:


cute (appeals to my physical attraction tastes)
a gamer (i need to be able to share the thing that defines who i am with her)
a carnivore(when eating meals at home, i don't want to have to eat vegetarian stuff)
enthusiastic about physical intimacy and wants to engage in it as much as possible
not religious, preferably ex-religious (so she can understand and relate to my issues and experiences with religion)
shares my opinions regarding institutionalized education in case we have any kids

those are the absolute must haves for me to even consider becoming involved in an exclusive committed relationship with someone.


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## RangerWickett (Jun 8, 2004)

Hida Bukkorosu said:
			
		

> i want a chick who's:
> 
> 
> cute (appeals to my physical attraction tastes)
> ...




I'd suggest you take off Gamer and Carnivore.  The others are very important for how you relate to each other, but Gamer only applies to how you relate to your friends, and Carnivore only applies to how you relate to food.  Both _do_ factor into a relationship, but the most important part is how you get along with your partner.  It's alright to not share exactly the same interests.


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## Teflon Billy (Jun 8, 2004)

Buttercup said:
			
		

> And most gamer guys are?




I'm a knockout


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## RangerWickett (Jun 8, 2004)

Teflon Billy said:
			
		

> I'm a knockout




True.  I told him he was pretty once, and when I woke up two hours later I had quite a memorable skull fracture.


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## Ogre Mage (Jun 8, 2004)

Buttercup said:
			
		

> And most gamer guys are?


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## Caspian Moon Prince (Jun 8, 2004)

RangerWickett said:
			
		

> Me, I would love a relationship, but about six months ago I gave up on the rampant desire to find someone.  I had to accept that my approach, however I was going about it, wasn't working, and none of the dozen or so women that I'd been attracted to had shown any interest back.  So now I have a lot more female friends, but no date.
> ...
> But I watch TV, see my friends, and heck, see my friends' D&D characters having loving relationships, and I feel just a little sad.
> 
> I'm groovy, though.  I've got my writing, and people who let me borrow their dice...




This is exactly the way I feel on the subject. After seeing little interest from women that I have been attracted to, I've decided to let fate decide when that special someone shows up. I've always been the guy that every female sees as a friend..or a lot of the times someone to tell everything that is going on in their love life. I'm glad to try and help, but it is a depressing lot sometimes. I had this outlook since high school, which wasn't that bad of a thing. It kept me from having to worry about all the "he said..she said..he likes her, but doesn't want to tell her.." stuff, which was wonderful IMO.


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## dreaded_beast (Jun 8, 2004)

Hida Bukkorosu said:
			
		

> i want a chick who's:
> 
> 
> cute (appeals to my physical attraction tastes)
> ...




First find me a chick who actually refers to herself as a chick.  

It's nice to have standards, but in my opinion, I think a person should take a look at themself before trying to find the "perfect" significant other. How well would one fit into a list someone else made for them?  

I try to ask myself, "I know what I want, but am I what they want?"


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## Hida Bukkorosu (Jun 8, 2004)

well, that's why i don't realistically expect that i ever will find someone.  unless "empathic metamorphs" exist - or they invent bio-android women that you can order programmed to your specifications...


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## Dirigible (Jun 8, 2004)

> well, that's why i don't realistically expect that i ever will find someone. unless "empathic metamorphs" exist - or they invent bio-android women that you can order programmed to your specifications...




And people dare to suggest that we gamers can be 'creepy'. Funny 'ole world, innit?


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## Bloodstone Press (Jun 8, 2004)

> Remember: Personal relationships are easier if you secretly hate everyone!




Amen.


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## Buttercup (Jun 8, 2004)

Hida Bukkorosu said:
			
		

> ...or they invent bio-android women that you can order programmed to your specifications...



Um, you do realize you're living up to (down to?) the stereotype of scary gamer guys by saying this, yes?


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## Caspian Moon Prince (Jun 9, 2004)

Buttercup said:
			
		

> Um, you do realize you're living up to (down to?) the stereotype of scary gamer guys by saying this, yes?




I think most have thought on what it would be like to have androids that were programmed to be the "perfect" companion. It is just that gamers, being more imaginative and spending more time imagining, think on this more than non-gamers.

Personally, while it would probably be great, at least at the beginning. Eventually it would probably get old when the "perfect" companion agrees with everything you say, and likes everything you like..well you get the idea.


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## Uzumaki (Jun 9, 2004)

Hida Bukkorosu said:
			
		

> well, that's why i don't realistically expect that i ever will find someone.  unless "empathic metamorphs" exist - or they invent bio-android women that you can order programmed to your specifications...




Chi?


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## Wycen (Jun 9, 2004)

Uzumaki said:
			
		

> Chi?




No, Cherry 2000.    

I used to believe in love at first site, partly I think because I was a gamer and reader of fantasy, etc., but eventually I guessed it was lust at first sight. 

I think when you are not looking is when you are most attractive, but also since you aren't looking, aren't as aware of potential opportunities.  I went to a friend's wedding last month and the seating was arranged so that I got to sit "at the table with the hot chicks" as the bride put it.  I had invited a woman from our gaming group to go but she either wasn't interested or already had plans, (wasn't going to make the weeknight game weird by pushing the issue), but I ended up having a blast with another guest.  I thought we hit it off, but it must have been just my opinion because her reaction to my initial email was like, "that's cute, please don't bug me", (or that was my perception, colored by such facts as getting a new job and living 4 hours away).  That or the fact it takes 9 days to get a response.   :\


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## Robbert Raets (Jun 9, 2004)

I'm an empathic metamorph!


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## The_Universe (Jun 9, 2004)

For all of you out there that have decided to stop looking for Love, let this happily (recently) married man remind you of something important, in terms all of us on this thread should understand.  *You'll never find the traps and secret doors, unless you roll a search check*.  

I found the amazing woman who is now my wife through a chance meeting of a friend of a friend.  I had been a part of a relationship that, although it lasted 5 years, had started well but ended HORRIBLY.  One of the reasons for the horrible end was gaming.  I made a pact with myself that I would find someone who could at least understand my love of the hobby, and understand that it couldn't (and wouldn't) interfere with the Love of a woman.  

Eventually, I did.  Without gushing about everything I like and Love about my wife, I just wanted to tell you that you CAN have it all.  You seem like nice guys, but you'll never find anything unless you're at least looking.  You never know when God (or fate, if you prefer not to personify the divine) will put the ONE in your path.  You don't want to blithely walk past her.  So keep your eyes open, at least.  Lastly, this is something that makes you who you are.  There are women (beautiful ones, even) that may never know the inner workings of a warp drive as well as you, but can at least smile as they listen to you talk about it.

I could go on and on.  I almost gave it up, and if I had, I KNOW I wouldn't be this happy.  So stay in the fight, and if you ever want worthless advice, let me know.  I am always happy to provide.


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## randomling (Jun 9, 2004)

Well, I'm single, and a girl, and a gamer. I wouldn't say I was starved for affection (yay for stacks of friends who love me!) but if I was looking for an SO I'd definitely be after a gamer. I wouldn't say gaming defines who I am - at least not totally! - but it's a fairly major part of my life, and I'd definitely want to share that with my partner.

All the local gamer guys I know, though, are either taken, not interested in me, not somebody I'm interested in, or some combination of the above. Sucks a bit.


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## dreaded_beast (Jun 9, 2004)

The_Universe said:
			
		

> You never know when God (or fate, if you prefer not to personify the divine) will put the ONE in your path.




Amen. 

For myself, someone always shows up when you least expect it. (Or you are already taken   )

Where were you when I was single  :\


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## The_Universe (Jun 9, 2004)

South Dakota, probably.


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## Tewligan (Jun 10, 2004)

Hida Bukkorosu said:
			
		

> i want a chick who's:
> 
> 
> cute (appeals to my physical attraction tastes)
> ...



Heh. Well, good luck with that whole thing. A couple of your checkpoints seem a little extreme, though. Is gaming really the thing that defines who you are? That's a helluva lot of dedication to make-believe, man. Also, unless your partner is really hardcore and can't stand to even be around meat, there's really no problem in getting along with a vegetarian. Unless, of course, you're a baby robin and she has to chew your food up for you and spit it into your mouth.

If I may ask, how old are you? It seems to me that a lot of people are much more set on what traits their partners MUST have when they're younger.


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## blackshirt5 (Jun 10, 2004)

Eh, I want a Jersey girl.  Something tells me though that, ironically enough, I'll need to leave Jersey to find the one for me.

I'd be especially partial to a Jersey girl of Greek descent; I got extremely spoiled from dating one. I need a girl who's loud, opinionated, loves to cook, loves to eat, and has a big arse(which sums up every Greek girl I've ever known; and just FYI so I don't offend anyone, those are all GOOD TRAITS in my eyes). 

To more precisely codify the list, here ya go.

Likes to Cook-I like to cook too, so I don't want the girl to cook for me all the time.  However it'd be nice to have someone to make a nice dinner with.
Likes to Eat-It sucks eating alone; it sucks MUCH worse eating with someone who doesn't eat at all.
Loud-Between loud music, loud friends, and music practice(my little brother plays Trumpet, my brother-in-law is teaching me the electric guitar at ear-shattering levels), my hearing is shot to hell.  Plus, a meek girl is definitely NOT what I need; I need someone who can look me in the eye and go "Andrew, shut the HELL up." when she thinks it's needed.
Opinionated-If you share all my opinions, what good is it?  I want someone I can have discourse with, not just intercourse! (couldn't resist)
Big Arse-What can I say; I don't like really tiny girls.  Big in the right places, in fact, and full of life is much more to my liking.  Plus, tiny girls are hyper, in my experience; I can't deal with 24/7 hyperactivity(even I'm not hyper all the time, though my buddies might disagree).


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## vrykyl (Jun 13, 2004)

*Gamer Girls - You Can Convert!*

Never was I fortunate enough in my single years to date a girl who was interested in my hobby. I've had multiple reactions, from plain disinterest to the assertion that I was endangering my immortal soul. Ten years ago, I met the true love of my life. Her reaction? She remembered "geeks" who played MAGIC and D&D in the lunchroom from high school.

I exposed her to some of the high points that I thought she could relate to, first. At my urging, she read the Dragonlance Chronicles by Weis & Hickman. She played board and card games. Finally, I ran a session for her, her brother, and a few other friends that was designed to be a good intro into role-playing.

She fell in love--both with me and the hobby!

After that, she became a regular at the gaming table and a rabid collector of dice. Her interest grew, and when I was offered a job in the hobby game industry, she tagged along and became the manager of the only game store in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. She has since spun miniatures, helped proofread product, and has been the Director of Sales at both Fast Forward Entertainment and my own company.

The moral of this tale is that you may not always find the pre-made "gamer girl," but that doesn't mean that she can't be one after you've romanced her into your hobby. Having an understanding spouse is one of the luckiest elements a gamer-guy like me can have in his life.

I wish you the best of luck, both at the gaming table and in love!

Jamie Chambers
Sovereign Press, Inc.


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## Turanil (Jun 14, 2004)

Hida Bukkorosu said:
			
		

> well, that's why i don't realistically expect that i ever will find someone.  unless "empathic metamorphs" exist - or they invent bio-android women that you can order programmed to your specifications...




It may come sooner that you would believe. Check this X-rated website to see by yourself. Begin to save right now, and you should have enough money 10 years in the future when "she" will be fully AI and animated.


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## barsoomcore (Jun 15, 2004)

Whoah. There's some creepy stuff out there, no kidding. Okay then...

My wife is cooler than everyone else's wife. Okay, I won't insist everyone else agree with me, but I insist that everyone else agree I'm entitled to that opinion. She recently had a T-shirt made with this image on the front.







Cool.

She, inspired by jonrog1's Drunk Southern Girls story hour, is about to start up her own Dark*Matter campaign. She's currently spending evenings reading my Call of  Cthulhu and giggling madly to herself. I'm afraid.

By the way, have I mentioned that I introduced three stewardesses to the hobby who are now avid gamers? One went out and bought a fur cap to wear while she plays her ranger. And a stuffed dog to be her wolf companion. Another discovered that her boyfriend of two years was a closet gamer and they both play in a Star Wars game now.

A DM's Guide can be a chick magnet, my friends.


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## Ashwyn (Jun 15, 2004)

barsoomcore said:
			
		

> Whoah. There's some creepy stuff out there, no kidding. Okay then...
> 
> My wife is cooler than everyone else's wife. Okay, I won't insist everyone else agree with me, but I insist that everyone else agree I'm entitled to that opinion. She recently had a T-shirt made with this image on the front.



I not only think that you are entitled to it, I think it's awesome that you have it.


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## Marzi (Jun 17, 2004)

I'm a gamer gal.  My husband confessed when we were dating way back when that he would've never been able to get serious about someone not into gaming.

I wasn't a "Gamer" when we met- I'd tried it but didn't have the opportunity.  The geek factor was well in place though, and that's what was important.  But because gaming was such a big part of his life, I can understand his point of view- it's easier to participate in a relationship when you share a large hobby.



			
				the Jester said:
			
		

> A gamer girl would understand, and not interfere!  She'd be supportive, hopefully cuz she'd be in the game!




Gotta step in here-- Gamer couples still have problems.  We argue quite a bit over gaming.  I understand the hobby, but we have a VERY strong difference of opinion on a reasonable amount to spend on said hobby.  




			
				Ao the Overkitty said:
			
		

> Yeah.  when we find a gamer woman, we snatch her up as quick as possible.
> 
> They are indeed a great treasure.  Especially those that cook for the group.
> 
> Bless them.




I'll say the same thing about gamer guys!  I don't cook (at all)- hubby does it all.  We have awesome gaming session food.




			
				diaglo said:
			
		

> you just need to find someone who is understanding of your hobby. and your love of pugs.




I had my love of pugs prior to hubby too!  So when we got our first pug together, it made it even that much more special. Who couldn't love pugs?!?!


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## the Jester (Jun 17, 2004)

Marzi said:
			
		

> I had my love of pugs prior to hubby too!  So when we got our first pug together, it made it even that much more special. Who couldn't love pugs?!?!




Pics?


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## nick2 (Jun 17, 2004)

All the talk about android girlfriends got me thinking about Austin Powers 2.


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## Hida Bukkorosu (Jun 18, 2004)

Tewligan said:
			
		

> Heh. Well, good luck with that whole thing. A couple of your checkpoints seem a little extreme, though. Is gaming really the thing that defines who you are? That's a helluva lot of dedication to make-believe, man. Also, unless your partner is really hardcore and can't stand to even be around meat, there's really no problem in getting along with a vegetarian. Unless, of course, you're a baby robin and she has to chew your food up for you and spit it into your mouth.
> 
> If I may ask, how old are you? It seems to me that a lot of people are much more set on what traits their partners MUST have when they're younger.




not RPGs specifically, but gaming in general.  playing games is the one thing that makes life somewhat approach being worth living.

as far as the meat thing, i don't want both of us to have to cook seperate meals all the time.  it's a logistics thing.  we should be able to enjoy meals together, which means she shouldn't have any crazy taboos that would interfere with that.

and i'm 26.  though i don't live like a 26 year old.


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## Marzi (Jun 20, 2004)

the Jester said:
			
		

> Pics?



As soon as I figure out how and where to put them, I'd love to share.


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## Marzi (Jun 20, 2004)

Hida Bukkorosu said:
			
		

> and i'm 26.  though i don't live like a 26 year old.




How's that?  How is a 26 year old supposed to live?


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## drothgery (Jun 20, 2004)

Marzi said:
			
		

> How's that? How is a 26 year old supposed to live?



I don't know, but alone, in a one-bedroom apartment where the only thing that gives the place any character are the bookcases full of fantasy novels and gaming books; eating mostly frozen food, cereal, and sandwiches; and rarely spending time with other people outside of work and the weekly gaming session probably isn't it. And, well, that's how I lived at 26... and still do at 28. It's not a lifestyle that's all that conducive to attracting a significant other.


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## Hida Bukkorosu (Jun 22, 2004)

Marzi said:
			
		

> How's that?  How is a 26 year old supposed to live?




well, not with their parents, for one. 

seriously i'm a college undergraduate still 100% dependent on parental support, and i live at home during summers.  most 26 year olds are graduated from college and have a "real job".  only job i've ever worked was the concession stand at a movie theatre during the 2 years i wasnt going to college.


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## Bloodstone Press (Jun 24, 2004)

> most 26 year olds are graduated from college and have a "real job".




 I disagree. Most 26 year olds haven't even been to college. 

 One of the things I learned in college was that everyone's life is different. You can always engage in upward social comparisons and find someone who is the same age/social standing as you and seems to be doing better. But all that does is lead to depression. It is just as easy to look at someone who is the same age/social standing as you and has a worse life. That usually leads to positive self-esteem. 

 For example;
How many 26 year olds have been to jail? 
how many 26 year olds don't live in a developed country and have no idea what college even is?
How many 26 year olds have no college education, but are married/divorced with children already? 
How many 26 year olds have graduated college but still work in dead-end jobs because they can't find work in their field?
How many 26 year olds have been to college and have 10s of thousands of dollars in debt to show for it (I'll raise my hand to that one  , though I'm closer to 29)

 You get the idea. 



> I don't know, but alone, in a one-bedroom apartment where the only thing that gives the place any character are the bookcases full of fantasy novels and gaming books; eating mostly frozen food, cereal, and sandwiches; and rarely spending time with other people outside of work and the weekly gaming session probably isn't it. And, well, that's how I lived at 26... and still do at 28. It's not a lifestyle that's all that conducive to attracting a significant other.




 Wow. That's exactly how I live.... Well, I have a 2 bedroom apt. And my walls are covered with cool posters to give the place some character. 

 I don't think it impedes your ability to attract someone. My problem is I always attract the wrong kind of people. There is a girl at my job right now that keeps talking to me and smiling at me and sitting next to me in the break room. She seems nice, but I just don't want anything to do with her. She’s not up to my standards. She has a kid (which I'm not interested in), and she's not quite as smart as I'd like. I doubt she games either. I also think she might be an illegal alien.... oh well.....


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## barsoomcore (Jun 24, 2004)

Bloodstone Press said:
			
		

> I also think she might be an illegal alien....



But, alien girlfriend, that'd be cool.

Oh, wait...

Never mind.


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## Kalendraf (Jun 25, 2004)

You don't need to find a gamer to find true love!

I was a lonely single guy until age 29.  My job, schedule and location all conspired against me for a variety of reasons from finding that special someone.  In late 1996, I changed cities, got a different job and in early 1997 I finally did meet someone.

We had similar interests, including similar likes in music, movies and food.  She was also bit of a geek as far as computers and technology goes.  But most of all, she showed an interest in fantasy stuff.  Our personalities definitely clicked.  However, she was almost an anti-gamer in her attitude.  A former boyfriend of hers had spent more and more time playing games (Magic, specifically) and less and less time with her which she wound up blaming on the game rather than on the person.  I wasn't sure how she'd handle my gaming, so I mentioned it, but didn't make it a huge deal.  Her reaction was kind of strange.  While she didn't want me to play magic, she didn't seem to care about any other games, especially D&D.  As we dated, I began playing quite a bit more D&D, and she was interested enough to watch us play and later tried her hand at it as well.  She warmed to the idea, but is by no means a gamer.

We eventually got married and recently celebrated our 5th anniversary.  We still have our differences over gaming.  She doesn't like it when I spend huge amounts of time on it.  But she loves to get together with the "widows" (the other gamers wives) on the night we play.  So the guys get to do their thing while the gals do theirs.

So my advice isn't so much to focus on finding a gamer, but look for someone with similar interests to your own.  From what I've seen, people who show an interest in fantasy are quite likely to enjoy RPGs.  If you don't know anyone like that, ask around and see who's into that stuff.  Networking works.  More people are probably willing to admit a liking to certain fantasy novels or movies than they are to being a gamer.  Also, asking about whether someone likes fantasy doesn't immediately label you as a geek quite as much as asking whether they are a gamer.


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## Bloodstone Press (Jun 26, 2004)

> But, alien girlfriend, that'd be cool.




 You freak.


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