# Like Anyone Needs Another Defenders of Daybreak Thread



## Sialia (Jul 9, 2002)

This one is for miscellaneous humorous anecdotes that aren't going to get covered in the regular storytelling 'cause they're not germaine to the plot. Enjoy!


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## Sialia (Jul 9, 2002)

From: Piratecat
To: Arcade Deltarion
RE: identifying those magic items

Ummm.. you aren't going to like me anymore.

See, when you tried to identify the Toadhead's bracers..ummm..well, you
learned that they were called Bracers of Wild Defense, and then the spell
went all RANDOM and coils of magic ripped out of the bracers as they
interacted with the identify spell, and you avoided most of them except
for the transmutation coil, but..errr..

Oh damn.  Okay.  You've just been polymorphed into an intelligent axebeak.

Sorry.

I'm sure someone will feed you if you make enough noise.
------------------------------
From: Piratecat
To: Velendo of Calphas

Nyquil comes to your rooms at the Golden Owl, and tells you to come
quickly because Arcade needs your help.  Behind his door you hear an odd
squawking.

In the room is a 4' tall, large-beaked, flightless bird with a huge beak.
It is sitting in front of a pile of magical paraphernalia (two bracers on
top) looking anguished and embarrassed. It is half-wearing Arcade's
favorite tunic, although the pants have fallen off. The beak looks really
sharp.

Now the bird just looks disgusted. You notice that its eyes (Arcade's
eyes!) are glaring, just daring one of you to say something.
.
----------------------
  Velendo looks at Nyquil.
  "You woke me up for *this?*
  He turns back to Arcade..
  "That's good.  Nice beak...goes well with the tunic.  Good night."
  He leaves.

From: Nolin Benhome
To: Piratecat, Arcade Deltarion

>Nyquil comes to your rooms at the Golden Owl, and tells you to come
>quickly because Arcade needs your help.  Behind his door you hear an odd
>squawking. . . . 

Nolin's first comment is, of course, "Oh, a new species of bird.  I must
fetch Tao."  I stay out of pecking range.

"Arcade?  I presume that's you and that you have not been slaughtered and
replaced by this bird.  Slap your little webby feet once for yes and
twice for no.  Is that you?"

Slap

"Do you want me to get you out of this form?"

Slap (glare)
"Shall I move you out of that pile of magical items and cast Dispel
Magic?"

Slap.

"Unfortunately, I haven't memorized it today.  I'll get Tao to tell me
what your type of bird like to eat, and we'll keep you comfortable for
the next 8-9 hours."

Frantic slapping, attempted pecking.  Nyquil faints.

"Only kidding, old man.  Hold on a moment while I move this stuff.  Or
would you prefer me to go get Cambion?"

Slap Slap

Nolin lifts the flightless waterfoul out of the pile of magic items and
onto the bed (notice the new, bulging muscles).  He then casts Dispel
Magic on Arcade "the Penguin Bringer" Deltarion, currently very formally
dressed in Tuxedo and Eau de Fish.

This ought to keep me in stories for years.

I wonder if I can get penguin slippers?

From: Piratecat: Actually, he's an Axebeak.  But it’s still really funny.


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## Sialia (Jul 9, 2002)

As a footnote, it's worth noting that "Cambion" was Alix's sword which dispelled shapeshifting magics, only, to use that ability, you kinda had to run the shifted creature through with the blade.

Alix actually did use this on himself at least twice that I can think of.

But Arcade was less into that kind of fun.

Also, second footnote, today is Bandeeto's birthday. Send him your love by posting birthday wishes on this thread, and kindly not abusing him about the Axebeak incident too roundly.

If you are very nice to him, I may post more anecdotes.


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## Altin (Jul 9, 2002)

*Wiping tears from eyes*

Oh, that was priceless, simply priceless ...  especially Velendo's reaction. 

And there is no such thing as too many Defenders of Daybreak threads to us adoring fans. Especially when they feature our beloved heros caught with their pants down, as it were . 

Seriously Sialia, I love your contributions for the moments of camaraderie and lightheartedness they add to Piratecat's tales of intrigue, danger and world-altering heroics. I'm a latecomer to the story (most of which I read on the old Eversink website) so I've missed out on a lot of the banter that probably took place on these boards during its first telling, which makes your tidbits and the discussion they inspire especially welcome. So thank you very, very much indeed for your efforts and do keep fueling our addiction.

Oh, and happy birthday Bandeeto! And my appologies for taking such amusement at Arcade's misfortune.

Yours,
Altin

P.S. When exactly in the Defenders timeline did the above tale of woe take place? 'Toadhead' does seem to be ringing any bells for me.


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## KidCthulhu (Jul 9, 2002)

I don't remember either.  But I do know that my penguin mistake was a resonable one.  PC described the bird to Velendo, but told me it was a flightless waterfoul.  Hence the penguin thing.  

Happy Birthday, Deeto, my lad.  Go put coins in a video game and drive someone off the road for me.


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## Irda Ranger (Jul 9, 2002)

Great story Sialia!! I look forward to any more you have. I think the best though was the retelling of "Buried up to the Neck" from Dylrath's point of view. I can see why so many people liked him  

Happy Birthday Bandeeto!! I have really appreciated your retelling of the early years. Great work (and great gaming!). 

Irda Ranger


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## Sialia (Jul 9, 2002)

Actually, the Axebeak Incident happened right after the Buried Up to the Neck bit and the enchanting Tour of the Dung Heaps which followed.

We found a lot of cool stuff in the Dung Heaps, which I'll tell you all about some other time. Arcade did a whole bunch of IDs and came down with a nasty racking cough for quite a while.

Which didn't prevent us from mocking him about the Axebeak thing.


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## Sito Rotavele (Jul 9, 2002)

Happy Birthday Deeto!!  All of us here in the great North West are sending warm thoughts and a big bear hug your way!! 

As for the Toadhead thing, that was the wild-mage that was part of the mercenary group Clith was in, right?  So Arcade didn't get around to identifying his stuff until after the dungheaps?  Or are these different random magic bracers?

As a side note, Claris always thought Arcade had a certain...appeal as an Axebeak.


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## madriel (Jul 9, 2002)

Happy Birthday, Bandeeto!

And yes...there is no such thing as too many Defender threads.


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## Bandeeto (Jul 10, 2002)

Many thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes! 

It should be known, by the way, that P'Cat never missed a chance to cause Arcade misery when it came to identifying Wild Magic items. 

Somewhere I have amusing e-mail descriptions of the results after attempting to identify a Deck of Many Things, the Bracers of Wild Defense, a Wand of Losing, and a Wand of Wonder.  Oh, the opportunities! Too much for a peg-legged furball to pass up, you may be sure.

Sito is correct. "Toadhead" (we never knew his real name) was a wild mage in a group of mercenaries that we faced back in Gaunt, a group that included the mage Clith, sister to Peggus. The mercenaries had been hired by Skiltor Rune to kill us (see the Early Years Thread for details). As you may recall, Rune was imprisoned and had his tongue removed for his crimes at Legerdemain. Alix (of course) decided to taunt him by having a false portrait painted of Arcade and Tivity looking deliriously happy at their wedding.  He then bribed the guards to have the painting placed across from and in full view of Rune's cell!

This, I should point out, was Alix's idea of a really funny joke.

Rune was understandably enraged. He hired the mercs and then sent us a misleading note to lead us on the road to Candledin, right into the ambush. They were well informed and well armed, and gave us a good bit of trouble. The evil druid added 10 years to Arcade's age with a Staff of Withering. The anti-ranger nearly carved Tao into kibble. Also, the wild mage (I believe) tried to Sovereign Glue a metal pot over Tom-Tom's head to stop him from using psionics. I seem to recall that it nearly worked. 

[By the way, high up on my list of really ooky and horrible near insta-deaths: submerging someone's head entirely in a Sovereign Glue filled pot. Breathing not an option, and boy is it hard stuff to get out of the lungs. Makes Raise Dead/Ressurection very tricky.]

Clith drowned in a small creek after being badly wounded and then having Insatiable Thirst cast on her. Sadly, her spellbook was ruined by the water and Arcade was unable to mooch any of her spells.  

We had no idea who she was until Peggus clued us in (while we tried to keep the rising tide out of our mouths)!


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## Piratecat (Jul 10, 2002)

It was all out of love! Nothing is funnier than watching Arcade trying to identify wild magic items. Ohhh, the joy as they twist the id spell....

And happy birthday, my friend. Wish I was with you.


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## (Psi)SeveredHead (Jul 10, 2002)

Happy B'day too!

I'm so yoinking the axebeak incident. I'm so yoinking...


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## KidCthulhu (Jul 10, 2002)

The really amusing thing about the _Deck of Many Things_ is that the Nolin conviced the group to have *nothing* to do with it.  We sold it.  I'm not sure how many other groups have ever done that.

When _Nolin_ is the voice of reason, the group is usually shocked enough to listen.  

It didn't hurt that Tremere (Tom-Tom) likes to throw them around in his campaign, and several of us who played in that world had seen parties destroyed by the effects of the Deck.  We were at least twice burned.


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## Femerus the Gnecro (Jul 10, 2002)

*got any... heirophants?  "GO FISH!"*

The deck is one of those items that I always, as a player, try to avoid as though it were made of broken glass.  

If it were up to me, I'd toss the lot of them into a spere of annihilation as soon as possible.  I especially hate it when DM's give them to low level parties, then complain that the party either:

1.  uses it, gets screwed over, and whines

2.  uses it, gets uber powerful and abuses the power

3.  doesn't use it (thus denying the DM his sick little 'deck' jollies).

I have yet to see anything good come out of the deck or any item like it (check out the funky-ass deck on Sean K Reynold's site for a REALLY strange deck).  

The worst part is that you want to keep using it once you start... it's freakish, really.

-Femerus


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## Sir Osis of Liver (Jul 10, 2002)

Great story, Sialia, i laughed my you know what off and then some.

As to the deck of many things in all my experiances it is completely irristiable, no one i know has ever not pulled from it. They know they're getting sucked into ther void or slapped in the dungeon but they don't care. "I might get a good card" it real fun when we get burned and keep going, it is one of the games greatest mysteries as far as i'm concened. Slap down the deck and watch us turn in to lemmings!


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## Jeremy (Jul 10, 2002)

The last time I encountered a Deck I was playing an extremely intelligent wizard who knew the chances of drawing a bad card and simply left it to anyone else as slow and steady wins the race.

The DM, voicing through my intelligent familiar decided that the familiar would draw 4 (!!!!) cards.  Guess he wanted his Deck Jollies.  We all then watched dumbfounded as the raven drew 4 red cards from a freshly shuffled deck, wished himself a were-raven, assumed an elfin hominid form, gained 11 levels, gained not one but two keeps, wishes, and ended up with more draws for 7 (!!!!!!!) total with not a single black card to be found.

Needless to say, everyone jumped at the deck then (except the Wizard and another character as wise as the Wizard was intelligent).  Of course, the inevitable happened, characters were utterly destroyed, faced off with Minor Deaths, and were Imprisoned.  I'd say the DM was a card shark except I get the feeling that kind of manual dexterity is beyond him.

Go figure.

Oh, having a familiar more powerful than you is an interesting experience.  More NPC then familiar at that point, thankfully one of his ill chosen uses of a wish got him assassinated within the week.


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## (Psi)SeveredHead (Jul 11, 2002)

In one of my campaigns we abused the deck terribly.

We got so many keeps that we combined them into one. Then any time we got the Keep card, we upgraded the keep (mithral mortar, mithral bricks, solid mithral, adamantine coating, etc).

We got many 4th level fighters named Fred (I think they all died).

My thri-kreen PC (Ranger/psion) was attacked by a minor death. I killed it in one round... (heck, my party killed the Tarrasque (2e) and Miska the Spider Wolf in one round.)

In the end, someone used a Wish to get rid of all the black cards... and the DM let them! Even so, I rarely used the deck.


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