# I need some one liners that a priest would say.



## Tyralis

hey guys.
i'm playing a priest in a CoC game. i'm in Arravis's game to be exact, i guess my character wasn't as memorable as the others.

ok, i strayed off of the subject.
i'm playing a catholic priest and i want to use some single line sayings that a priest would say, such as "If God deems it my time to go, so be it." "My faith is strong."
things like that.
i'm having trouble making up interesting ones, so any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.


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## Krail Stromquism

*"I kick ass for the Lord!" -priest Dead Alive*

One liners huh?  Ummm, how about...

"Oh! You people crucify me!"
"Time I gave you your Last Rights!"
"See you in purgitory! or heaven...or hell, only God knows for sure!"
"I'll Baptize you in your own blood, Heretic!"
"Confess THIS!" followed by a sucker punch/kick to someones groin.
"The Power of Christ compells You!" (repeat). said while popping off shots from a .45
"Your all 7 deadly sins rolled into one ugly Bastard!"
"Holy Mary, Jesus and Joseph!"
"For the love of Jesus!"
"You cant just go around transmografryin' anything into the Body of Christ! Now put the Twinkie down!"

ok maybe those are a little weird. For some reason I keep seeing the Arnold character from the Simpsons saying most of these lines. "Arrgh, zee googles, zey do nozhing!"


I'd try and go with a real quirky priest. Make him an alcoholic, pervert thats addicted to porn and stealing womens panties. Then my friend, the one liners make themselves up!

Cheers!


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## Neo

Have faith, we will persevere

My Faith is my Shield

By all the Saints

He Died for our sins, let us not let him have died in vain by sinning now.

Go with my Blessing my Child

Let your Faith be your guide

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto.  Sicut erat in principio et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Amen.
(Basically a shortened version of the Latin Last Rite and it means Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost.  As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever. Amen)

INCLINA, Domine, aurem tuam adpreces nostras, quibus misericordiam tuam supplices deprecamur, ut animam famuli tui <enter name>, quam de hoc saeculo migrare iussisti, in pacis ac lucis regione constituas et Sanctorum tuorum iubeas esse consortem.  Per Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.
(The Catholic Last Rite, meaning INCLINE Thine ear, O' Lord, unto our prayers, wherein we humbly pray Thee to show they mercy upon the soul of Thy servant <enter name>, whom Thou hast commanded to pass out of this world, that Thou wouldst place him in the region of peace and light, and bid him be a partaker with Thy Saints. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.)


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## Tyralis

Wow, these are great!
Haha
Keep'em coming.


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## Cheiromancer

Funny lines a priest might say (or that I've heard a priest say, or that I've said.):

"Have your people call my people, and we'll do mass."

"Bless you, my child."

"Oh, fiddlesticks!"

"Kids nowdays... with their fast cars and their loud music... it's the devil I tell you!"

"Jesus, Mary and St. Patrick!"

"Monday's my day off."

"Income tax?"  (priests belonging to a religious order don't pay income tax.  Diocesan priests do.)

"That cultist is pronouncing the words wrong."

"Anything worth doing is worth over-doing."

"You did WHAT in the supermarket!?"


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## uv23

Come now, has NO ONE here seen dead alive??

"I kick ass for the lord!"


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## Caliber

Curse you uv23! Curse you!

Beat me to it! 

Arg!

The one time Dead Alive knowledge could actually be to my benefit!

.... what a world what a world ...

*melts into a pile of random zombie bits*

Edit: If you are going to say "I kick ass for the Lord!" make sure you are using Kung-Fu at the time. It just works better.


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## olethros

"Strong is the Lord and the power of his might!"

-as said by Dr. hellsing in that Coppola version fo Dracule to kick Mena the vampire back into her coffin.  Anthony Hopkins makes it sound kinda neat.


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## Hand of Evil

Be the gone spawn of Satan!  I say, begone!

Have mercy on my soul!

Your sin can only be washed away by his forgivness.

I have seen the glory.

Halalloah 

Can I get an ahmen?

You got to have faith!


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## jgbrowning

*well*

by far the best one of the lot.


"The Power of Christ compells You!" (repeat). said while popping off shots from a .45


that, my brother, is a clasic.  


joe b.


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## Mr Fidgit

"praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition", as spoken by an army chaplain in WWII

-and don't forget other movie references:

we're on a mission from God

...and you will *KNOW*  my name is the *LORD* , when I lay my vengeance upon thee!


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## Breakdaddy

uv23 said:
			
		

> *Come now, has NO ONE here seen dead alive??
> 
> "I kick ass for the lord!"  *




Haha! Thats exactly what I was thinking! "I kick ass in the name of the lord!"


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## Arravis

Tyralis
***i guess my character wasn't as memorable as the others.***

I disagree, wholeheartedly. It's an interesting character (one similar to what *I* was thinking of playing, actually, when our other DM runs a few games, hehe ) and I think it's pretty damn cool. I just feel bad that you missed the first game though, it set the mood for the one you were in. But I hope you had fun though .

Btw, ""The Power of Christ compells You!" (repeat). said while popping off shots from a .45" is definately my fave, hehe.


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## TheStiegler

If your character is more inclined for melee combat...

"I'll show you the power of God's Word!"  Then hit them with the Bible.


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## Krail Stromquism

*word up padre*

hey I sure am glad one of my lines came out OK.

BTW my subject line for my original post was the Dead Alive priests' classic line.

Ill have to rewatch Cemetary Man, theres gotta be a few good ones in there.

Maybe mine the old Saturday Night Live for Fr. Sarduci lines, hes a character you could base your PC on.

"Da Pope...he just waves the fourth one. Just waves it." anyone remember that skit? talking about the American Saints and the required 4 miracles?

"When hell is full, the dead shall walk the earth." 
-Dawn of the Dead.

I saw a group of priest the other day, one was italian and had one the full length robe outfit, they were out at a restraunt. Very freaky.

heres my last one:

"On the eighth day the Lord said "Let there be MuzzleFlash!"


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## Tyralis

Cool guys.
i'm glad everyone is having fun with these.  
Does anyone have any lines that are a little less combat oriented?

Thanx again, i'll be taking a printout of these to the next game.


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## Kilmore

http://multimedia.badmovies.org/movies/deadalive1.mpg

This is from www.badmovies.org.  Go there.  Trust me.


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## blaster219

Ok, I'm probably going to get crucified for this but...  

"As a duly designated representative of his lord Jesus Christ, I hereby order you to cease and desist any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith from your home plane, or nearest convientent hellish dimension."

DM's almost inevitable response (unless he just kills you on the spot): 

"Are you a god?"

"No, but as I already said, I work for one."


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## Aeolius

“...countest thou to three...” – Holy Grail

“Fetch...the comfy chair!” – Flying Circus

“I, Jesus Christ, for Technitron.” – Attack of the Killer Tomatoes


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## Barendd Nobeard

*Re: word up padre*



			
				Krail Stromquism said:
			
		

> *"When hell is full, the dead shall walk the earth."
> -Dawn of the Dead. *




Nitpick alert.

The line is:  "When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth."

Love that movie--it's my first gore film and will always hold a special place in my heart.


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## Krail Stromquism

oops,

Its more my Domestic Partners favorite movie, Im much more a 'the Thing' john carpenter version type myself but alas, there are no priests in that film.

just remember

"It aint es."
-Wilford Brimly

EDIT! hey it wont let me type in that characters NAME! guess its too much like droppin the F-BOMB!

the guys name is Pukes only it starts with an F, Wilfords character Doc says that line when they have him issolated out in MacReadys Shack. WTF?


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## EOL

My favorite has always been:

"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord."

It can be used in all sorts of situations combat or otherwise.  It's from Job, though I'm too lazy to look up the exact reference.


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## cthuluftaghn

"Come here, little boy..."

(sorry, couldn't resist)


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## niastri

"I would be happy to babysit little Johnny"


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## Griswold

My pastor always fond of saying "your eternal salvation depends on it" as a joke when he wants you to do something for the church.

Gris.


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## Kesh

Cheiromancer said:
			
		

> *
> "That cultist is pronouncing the words wrong."
> *




I almost died laughing from that one. 

As for one liners, anything quoted from the Bible at the appropriate time. Mumbling the "I will fear no evil" passage as they enter the demon's lair, or quoting Jesus' admonishments to the Pharises while the priest is admonishing a corrupt buisnessman, etc.

And, of course, there's one of my favorite lines from Babylon 5, perfect for an angry priest:

"You better get your priorities straight and you'd better do it fast, because hell's coming five steps behind me! And you don't want to be on the wrong side when it gets here." Garibaldi, _Point of No Return_


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